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enamoured-x · 4 years

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so it goes

Summary: When Alex moves in across the hall, Rio knows he’s in trouble. A good girl like her would never want anything to do with him, or so he thinks.

Word count: 3.8k

Chapter 6

There were times in Alex’s life where she could hear her father's voice in her head as clear as day. Telling her she’d get nowhere with a degree in English and to choose something more practical like business or even law. She’d then hear him telling her that she was wasting her degree by trying to open up a flower shop. Telling her that it wasn’t ideal and giving her that speech about how by the fifth year, at least 50% of small businesses fail. Her father always used logic and reasoning, it was his main focal point. He wanted her to be stable and provide for herself and she knew that and she understood it. But she never understood why she couldn’t have both a job she loved and a job that provided all wrapped into one. She didn’t know what she wanted to use her English degree for, all she knew was that she had a passion for it so she went for it. She didn’t realize till after she graduated that her interests laid in being her own boss.

It might have been silly to say but she had always been taken with flowers, her mom always took her to the botanical gardens and to sunflower farms when she was younger. She never really knew why her mom chose to take her little daughter to dally about in fields and parks of flowers but she loved it. It carried on as a tradition through the years to go to the farms when the flowers were in full bloom or go to the gardens on nice days. It was just something they always did. So when she saw a space available for rent and looked at the fresh flowers in her hand that she bought at the farmers market, the idea came to her. She knew nothing about how to run a business let alone a flower shop. She also didn’t know an insane amount about the upkeep of flowers and what being a florist entailed. All she knew was that she remembered the feeling she had when she was surrounded by a field of flowers with her mom. The different colors whirling around her as she’d twirl about and the ambrosial scent and fresh soil. When her mother passed, she’d live in that smell, in that vibrant world. It was a place that reminded her of her mother. A place where she felt whole. So when she opened up her shop, she felt like she was living there again. She was getting to do something that made her happy and that was all she needed. Her dad never understood it and he still didn’t. But she knew her mom would. All of it felt like an ode to her mother. Even the name. While her dad loved to use Alejandra, her mom would beckon her with a soft mi amor. Thus came the name, Flor Amor.

It was days like today when she’d remember what her dad would say to her every time they spoke or saw each other. Alex had been bookkeeping, looking at her sales. Sure, she was doing phenomenal for her first year but Mother’s Day was the first time in a while save Valentine’s day where she had seen her sales rise. She wasn’t complaining, she was glad to at least be getting by with paying the girls and keeping up with stock. But days like this did get her down a bit. She loved the shop so much and she loved her regulars who’d come in for not only flowers but for conversation. She loved everything about the shop and what it gave her. And she hated, hated that she sometimes worried her father might have been right.

“You went to college for what? Just to throw your money down the drain! Look, when you first told me you were going for english I hated the idea. It wasn’t practical enough, you weren’t… weren’t thinking. But I figured you know what? Maybe you could get a job teaching or an editorial job. But this? You’re going to sell flowers for a living?” Alex’s dad, Nicholas, shook his head. He was seething.

Alex had graduated college a few months ago and she was trying to find a job. She really was, but nothing was calling to her. Everything felt wrong and she didn’t know what to do. Her dad kept hounding her for it. Even though she had moved out and she still had her job as a receptionist at a local publishing company, he still seemed to be disappointed in her. He wanted her to use the degree she went to college for, he wanted her to do something more. When Alex told him her decision about opening up a flower shop, he laughed. And then he realized she was serious and he turned angry right away.

“Why can’t you support me on this? I’ve thought long and hard about it and I know I can do it.” Alex was confident. Despite not knowing anything about being a business owner or about how to sell flowers, she was sure this was the direction she should go in. She was a little nervous about it but she was excited and it felt right.

“You’re naive. You don’t know how to run a business and flowers of all things? You know how this makes me look?” Alex felt her heart restrict in her chest. Of course he would be embarrassed. Of course this was about him, not her. It always was with him.

“How does this make you look, dad?”

“I’m a damn attorney, Alejandra! And my daughter wants to prance around flower fields like she’s still a little kid. I will not allow this. I looked the other way when you told me about your english degree but I can not look away this time.” He ran his hand down his face.

“I wasn’t asking for permission. I was letting you know.” The fact that he thought he could still control what she did angered Alex. She had gotten her own place when she started her first year of college and she had been there ever since. She provided for herself, had a job that paid her bills. She took loans out for school and got by on grants and scholarships. She was doing it all by herself for this exact reason. So that her dad couldn’t hold anything over her, so she could be free to do whatever she wanted.

“I don’t know what has gotten into you but I am still your father and you will respect me—”

“I respect your opinion but I’m still doing this whether you’re on board with it or not.”

Nicholas wasn’t always like this. Calculated and all business? Sure, but Alex’s mother, Sofia, always mellowed him out. They complimented each other so well. Sofia was all soft touches and laughs while Nicholas was rough edges and cold stares. But they balanced each other out. She always brought out the best in him. Lightened him up and smoothed out those rigid edges. He became soft for her and when they had Alejandra, he was so in love with their baby girl. They were the perfect family.

When Sofia died, Nicholas retreated back into himself. He wasn’t the father Alejandra knew anymore. He wasn’t fatherly and he wasn’t there when she needed him the most. He grieved in his own way and left seventeen year old Alex to deal with her mother's death all alone. But Alejandra didn’t let it break her. She had never felt pain like that in her life but she pushed forward. She finished high school and then went off to college like Sofia would have wanted her to do. The thing that kept her going most after her mother’s death was her mother.

“You’re throwing your life away. Your mother would be so disappointed in you.” All Alex felt arguing with her father was rage and all it took was that one sentence for that rage to turn into sorrow. She couldn't help the tears that had now formed and were ready to spill over any second now.

“No, dad. I think she’d be disappointed in you. The man you’ve become is not the man she loved. Calling yourself my dad? What a joke, you haven’t been my father since mom died.” Alex didn’t register the open palm that came her way. She gasped and clutched her burning cheek. The tears finally broke free. Her dad had never laid a hand on her until today.

“Get out of my house.” His words were cold and hard. Alex didn’t recognize him anymore. And as mad as she was, all that was left in her heart was grief. Part of her had still held on to hope for her dad, that he could become who he was before. But it was obvious to Alex from her stinging cheek that he wasn’t and he probably would never be that person again. So she left. She left that house and hadn’t returned since.

That was a year and a half ago now. It took her half a year to get the shop functional and up and running, and also learn everything and anything there was to learn about running her own business. She did it though. Alex didn’t give up even when it was hard and even when people were skeptical. She stuck to it. And when her boyfriend had things to say about what she was doing, Alex left him too. She wouldn’t let anyone get in the way and if they did, she simply went around them. Although her father's words that day hurt, she knew her mother. She knew her mom would be proud of who she was and what she was doing. Alex built a life for herself, she was successful. She was running her own business and although sometimes it was rocky, she was getting it done. With that in mind, Alex knew if her mother was around today, her father wouldn’t even think about asking her to do something else with her life. Her mother would have never allowed it and he would follow her lead. Alex couldn’t help but miss her dad though. Missed the old him because the new him was a stranger to her. They hadn’t spoken since that day and although it was what she wanted. She was still upset that he never even tried to reach out and see how she was doing. He only lived an hour away yet he never once tried to see her. But Alex never reached out either, she didn’t know if she wanted to.

After she was done she decided she needed a drink. She decided she’d go to the bar around the corner. It was low key enough where she could just drink in peace and never overcrowded. It was something she never really did but she needed some fresh air and she needed to get out of her head. She had to keep reminding herself that she was doing okay right now, customers were still walking in the door and she was doing good with inventory. She just needed to relax.

When Alex arrived she ordered an old-fashioned and took a seat at the bar. She focused on the tv that was playing football highlights. She wasn’t really a fan but it was distracting enough. She was on her second drink when she looked around the bar. There were a few groups of people in the booths and a few stragglers at the end of the bar. Then she noticed him. Rio. He was sitting at a booth with a man. Was it the one she heard him talking to the other night? She didn’t want to get all up in his business but she couldn’t help but sneak glances towards them.

The scrawny man in the seat across from him seemed fidgety, Alex would even go as far as saying he looked scared. The man swallowed hard and then pulled out a crumpled bag from his jacket and slid it across the table to Rio. The man looked around which was Alex’s cue to avert her eyes elsewhere. She waited a few seconds before turning to look back at them. Rio had looked into the bag and nodded slowly. He said a few words and the man looked ready to run. Alex didn’t understand what was going on. What was in the bag? Why did this man seem to be afraid of Rio? If she were being honest, it looked like some drug or money trade, like the ones she’d seen on tv. But that couldn’t be it, could it? She had to think back to the time when she was being nosey and Rio said some woman owed him money. Maybe it was money in the bag. This guy owed him money too? But for what?

Alex cleared her throat and downed the rest of her drink. She called for another and it was placed in front of her a few moments later. She just wanted to clear her head of her financial problems but now her head was filled with Rio and what he was up to. She wanted to keep reminding herself it was not her business, they had only known each other for a few weeks now and he owed her nothing. He didn’t need to tell her what he was doing and she had no business even asking. Even if they were friends, she didn’t want to push on something that he might not want to share. Besides, for all she knew, nothing was even happening.

Alex couldn’t help herself though, once Rio and the same tattooed man from the other night escorted the scrawny man out, she was getting out of her chair. She followed them out the bar but was far enough behind them that they didn’t notice. Alex didn’t know if it was boredom, curiosity, or just her stupidity, that made her follow them. It also could have been the small buzz she felt but either way, she wanted to know what was going on. The man they were pushing out looked terrified and she wanted to know why. She walked close to the side of the building and when the three men turned the corner into an alley, she peeked.

“Please, wait! I can get the rest for you by the end of the week. I just need some more time, please.” The man held up his hands in defense. He was frantic now. What the fuck was going on? Alex eyed the man with the face tattoos and had a realization that maybe it was him who Rio was talking to the other night. Either way, this situation did not look good.

“Nah, that ain’t how this works. You give me my money in full when I tell you.” Rio shook his head and stepped closer to the man.

“There’s more than half in that bag! Please! I swear I’ll give you the rest, just… please.” The man was desperate. Alex didn’t know what to think. This man owed Rio money and he obviously didn’t pay up. But money for what? And what the fuck did Rio do that had this man ready to piss himself? This was not good.

Rio didn’t say anything. He simply stepped back and nodded at the tattooed man.

A shiver went through Alex at Rio’s cold stare. Rio’s man stepped forward and next thing she knew, he had punched the weasel faced man. Alex contained her gasp and pressed herself against the brick wall. She peeked over again to see the man hadn’t stopped in his attack.

“Please!” The man was on the floor now, face bloody.

He was trying to shield himself as he was being kicked repeatedly. Rio just stood there watching. Alex couldn’t stomach the man’s cries for help. She couldn’t watch, she couldn’t just watch and do nothing. So she stepped out into the alley.

“Stop!”

Both standing men snapped their gaze in Alex’s direction. Rio’s blood ran cold at Alex’s horrified face as she looked between them and the guy groaning in pain on the floor. For once in his life, he didn’t know what to say.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked as she stepped closer to them. She almost wanted to check to see if the man was okay but something told her not to. Maybe it was the fact that despite seeing Rio give the orders to have the man beat, she couldn’t help but be on his side. After all, she didn’t know the full story. But Alex didn’t know if the full story would even make this okay. She wasn’t stupid, she knew something very shady was going on now. She knew Rio was obviously doing shady things. But she didn’t know to what extent.

“Alex,” He sighed and ran his hand over his head. If Alex saw everything then he was in for it. He didn’t want her to know about any of this. Hell, he didn’t want her involved in any of this. Yet here she was, looking at him with fear in her eyes? Worry? Anger? He didn’t know, he couldn’t read her. He hoped this wouldn’t mess up what they had. But who was he kidding? Of course it would. She was going to ask questions now or maybe even straight out ignore him. He knew how it looked and was worried that she now saw him as some bad man.

They just stared at each other till Rio whispered to his man to take care of Tommy, the piece of shit on the floor. Rio walked up to Alex and was relieved that she didn’t flinch or move back when he stood in front of her. Rio took it as a good sign that she wasn’t scared of him.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.” Alex was taken back by his words and her face said as much.

“Excuse me?”

Rio was an idiot to think just because she was as sweet as they came, that she wouldn’t be stubborn and stand her ground.

“Mama, please.”

Alex sighed and started to walk away. Rio knew as much as to catch up. They walked in silence back to their apartment. Rio didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t really explain it to her and that left him with lying and how could he lie through what she just saw? He tried racking his brain for something, anything to tell her. But he couldn’t think of anything that would be justifiable for Alex to still see him as the Rio she just saw a few days ago.

When they got to their doors of their apartments, Alex crossed her arms and waited for Rio to say something. She knew it wasn’t technically her business but he was bringing harm to another person, she needed to know what could possibly be okay for him to do that.

“What were you doing back there?” She asked, she couldn’t wait for him to speak.

“Alex, it’s complicated… I can’t get into it.” He shook his head. That was the best he could come up with. He didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s really not. It’s actually a simple question. Why were you hurting that man?” Alex was being bold but she didn’t care at the moment. Rio and her were friends and they hung out, she had a right to know the kind of people she associated with.

“He’s no saint, Alex.” Rio was grasping at straws. He just didn’t want Alex to think he would do that kind of thing to just anybody. That was definitely not him.

“Why? Because he didn’t pay you what you were owed?” Rio tilted his head and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Were you watching me?” Rio didn’t know how to feel about that.

“I didn’t mean to. I just went out for a drink and I saw you.” Alex shrugged. She didn’t want to get into the details. Especially considering she literally followed him out of that bar.

Rio accepted the answer.

“Just explain it, Rio.”

“I can’t. It’s more complicated than that.” He shook his head. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten close to her. He knew he was bad for her. And he knew deep down that she wouldn’t just be okay with what he did. He was stupid for thinking it. But he couldn’t stay away. Which is why he was nervous right now, he didn’t want her to be mad at him. He didn’t want to stop being her friend. And he hated that he still felt like that after his realizations.

“Uncomplicate it.” Alex knew she was pushing now. But she didn’t want to be lied to and she actually liked Rio. She wanted to calm his worries right now but she wanted answers.

“Alex, don’t push me. Please.” She wasn’t scared of his tone taking a serious turn. She was actually annoyed and she blamed it all on the alcohol for what she said next.

“Or what? I’ll end up like that guy you were beating to a pulp?” Alex shut her mouth tight after the words left her mouth. Rio looked pained but it fleeted as his jaw tightened and he stepped closer to Alex. Their chests were touching now. He looked down on her and she refused to look up. He tilted her chin up with his hand to look up at him. Alex was still curious for answers but her face flushed at how close they were. Practically breathing the same air despite the height difference.

“Don’t ever say something like that again. I’d never lay a hand on you, you hear me?” Alex swallowed and nodded slightly. She didn’t know what came over her, but she liked his demanding side. She found it hot, despite the situation.

“You’re safe with me.” He couldn’t help but say.

“Am I?” After what Alex saw tonight and what she had heard the night before, she couldn’t be sure.

“Yes, I promise.” Rio didn’t want her to ever think he would hurt her in any way. He didn’t want her to be scared of him. He knew it was a possibility and if she found out that what she saw tonight was only a peek behind the curtain, she would be scared of him. Rio didn’t know if he could stomach that.

He kept her chin tilted up and for a few moments they just stayed like that. Looking into each other’s eyes. Alex noticed him glance down at her lips and she desperately wanted him to kiss her but now wasn’t the time. As if Rio was thinking the same thing, he finally backed away.

Alex wasn’t going to push for answers anymore, at least not for tonight.

“Goodnight, Rio.” Alex said and turned around and unlocked her apartment door. She stepped in and shut the door behind her. Rio stood out in the hallway, wondering how in the hell they’d get past this.

Taglist: @thickemadame @fairywriter-oracle @joalsglasses @naysianaee @gemini0410 @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @helloosilver

#rio x reader #good girls rio #rio good girls

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moviesrotbrains · 3 years

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FREAKY slashes up a piece of that horror-comedy pie

Hey, let’s remake FREAKY FRIDAY, but this time it’s about a middle-aged serial killer who swaps places with a 17-year-old girl. That simple yet ridiculous premise is the main plot behind a surprisingly perfect, and fantastically gory, horror-comedy.

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FREAKY is one of those movies that could have failed hard. It’s a brilliant idea that could have fallen apart in the wrong hands. Many films have tried to balance genres and get lost along the way. FREAKY is NOT one of those fails. It’s one of those films that had me rooting for it from the first 5 minutes and still had me pleasantly surprised throughout. In addition to being a great body-swap flick, it’s also an engaging horror flick. It’s like someone shoved your favourite FRIDAY THE 13TH scenes in a blender with MEAN GIRLS. It shouldn’t work… but it does. It’s an ode to 80s slashers, but it’s also an ode to high school-centred comedies? And it does all this while keeping hardcore horror fans pleased by giving it a hard R rating?!? And it’s actually really funny?!?

When they first announced this film, I was expecting a fun PG-13 flick in the vein of HAPPY DEATH DAY, and I was okay with that. I really liked HAPPY DEATH DAY (as with FREAKY, also directed by Christopher Landon). HAPPY DEATH DAY, was a smart spin on GROUNDHOG’S DAY that it did a lot of cool things while also being able to do so with a PG-13. It wasn’t trying to be MANIAC, nor did I ever expect it to. I’m an annoying purist, but I’m ok with light pop-corn horror if done right, and that film did it right.

So with that in mind, I was utterly blown away by the very, very R-RATED kills in the opening 10 minutes. It was a brutal onslaught of gore. It was Landon’s way of saying, “Relax, horror bros, I got you.” It was like a Greatest Hits from decades ago but with a fresh spin on it. Slashers got a little lazy in the last few years, and this film just let it all hang out in that opening scene. It was ballsy as all hell, and I was totally on board. And luckily it didn’t just stop there.

This one has all the tropes of classic stabby fright flicks. Huge emotionless killer? Check. Ominous mask? Check. St upid teenagers getting in trouble? Check. Inventive kills that make you cackle “Holy Shit”? Check. Twists and turns? Check. A growing body count? Check. Final girl? Check. And let’s throw in an occult artifact in the mix that swaps that final girl with that emotionless killer and that’s where you get something new and different!

And if you’re coming into this one from a comedy perspective, this one has all the tropes of classic high school movie. Insecure lead going through an awkward time? Check. Supportive comic relief friends? Check. Parents that just don’t understand? Check. Villainous teachers? Check. Mean girls? Check. Huge awkward misunderstandings? Check. And let’s throw in an occult artifact in the mix that causes said misunderstandings and that’s where you get something new and different!

That new and different wouldn’t be what it is without the standout performance from the two leads, Vince Vaughn & Kaythryn Newton. Vaughn is the aforementioned creepy masked killer. He’s wonderfully cast here as a towering, silent brute. Vaughn of course might be known for his comedic work, but he’s actually got an impressive range that’s very rarely utilized (see BRAWL AT CELLBLOCK 99 for more details). Here he excels as the Butcher. Effective, brutal, and cold. He’s been on a killing spree lately, which we see a bit of at the beginning, and he’s definitely looking to kill some more. And it looks like he found a spooky looking occult dagger

Newton, known to genre fans from her recurring role in SUPERNATURAL, is very likeable as the main lead, Millie. Having recently suffered from the loss of her father, Millie is currently dealing with the ongoing depression that the loss put on her mother, as well as her own struggles to return to normality. Can she survive a day at school from the usual trials, tribulations, bullies, and high school crushes, let alone a serial killer lurking nearby?

And thus their two paths meet in the most unexpected (or very expected) of ways. We soon witness a thrilling chase, very reminiscent of the best Michael Myers and Jason hunts-- in fact this whole chase actually takes place on the eve before Friday the 13th, a very knowing wink to the genre that birthed this film. And soon the Butcher, with Millie in his grips, claims his latest victim… only he doesn’t… darn those occult daggers!

And that’s when the two leads really showcase their acting chops. Vaughn is now a frazzled high school student, and Newton is the silent and sinister stalker. Both take on their new roles excellently and they both embody (heh) them flawlessly. Vaughn is awkward and fragile and Newton is menacingly fierce as fuck. Newton utterly transforms into someone else and her performance is a total triumph. Vaughn is adorable.

Seeing them both re-interact/meet with their friends (and foes) in their new forms is endless fun. You see Vaughn run like a girl and Newton go on a homicidal spree. You see Vaughn give off his best flirty eye and Newton’s best glare of doom. They both seamlessly fill their new roles.

But it’s not quite the seamless exchange for Millie and the Butcher. Millie clumsily gets used to their bigger and stronger frame… and the Butcher realizes they are not as strong as they once were. A lot of what works about this ride is seeing how they both adapt to their new struggles and use it to their advantage. The Butcher has a new mask, and Millie soon finds confidence in herself in her new self.

The supporting cast is used with great effect, too. They all get us to where we need to be. Everyone serves a purpose. From the mom, to older sister/cop, to the comic relief, to the love interest, and classmates of varying degrees of douchebagginess. Everyone is either likeable or unlikeable as they should be. There’s even a nice nod to previous academic farces with a cameo from FERRIS BUELLER’S Alan Ruck as an asshole shop teacher.

Director Christopher Landon is really slicing out a nice niche of off-kilter spins in the horror genre, and it’s reassuring that he knows what he’s doing. It truly is a well-crafted film. Not just as a horror film, but also from a technical standpoint. The pacing is dead perfect, every joke hits, the story beats and setups are well orchestrated, and not a moment is wasted. It’s tense when it needs to be tense, gory when it needs to be gory, and legit laugh out loud moments when it needs to have those LOL moments.

It’s such a great spin to the body-swap comedy genre, a genre that feels like there’s an endless amount where they all sort of felt very “samey”; especially in the 80s, where at one point three different body-swaps came out within 2 years of each other! This one takes the better elements of those, relishes in them, carves new ground, and adds a bit of Tom Hanks’ BIG in for good measure.

But homage to a decade old cinematic fad aside, at no point does it ever stop delivering on the humour and slasher content. It’s tight, daring, and keeps you enthralled throughout. Whether you’re a horror junkie, or into well-written oddball comedies, or even into clever thrillers, the end result has you covered.

There’s a great message in there too, as the film tackles school killings, social media, pc culture, and the general malaise many of us experience after the loss of a loved one. It’s about grief and acceptance and moving on… yet it’s very light-hearted. And you still get ample buckets of blood and splatter.

Yes, fans, there’s so many gruesome and cool looking on screen deaths your morbid heart’s desire. Amazing uses of wine bottles, tennis rackets, chainsaws, and industrial equipment. A creepy serial killer flophouse complete with creepy mannequins and various implements of torture. Possibly a severed head in a bloody toilet? Yeah, this film has that too.

You can currently rent this one on various VOD services. Hopefully this one hits the majority of streaming services soon, since it had the misfortune of opening late last year during the pandemic. It definitely needs a wider audience because it’s another one of those instant classics. It’s easily my favourite current horror-comedy, and I’m looking forward to more from Christopher Landon. A film that’s both goofy and gory with just enough twists to keep your attention and please jaded genre fans? That’s freaky.

#horror #horror movies #blumhouse #freaky #kathryn newton #vince vaughn #Christopher Landon #Slashers #movie reviews #film reviews #body swap #moviesrotbrains #movies rot brains #universal

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sendmyresignation · 3 years

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this is mostly for my archive/organization but these are the song descriptions and answers from the hesitant alien quiz with their correct match if you’re interested

The Bureau:

Description- The world is purple-black stagelight darkness, the steady drumbeat ringer of your cellphone echoing in the enclosing corridor like a heart beating through the walls made of flesh. You can see red ahead, emergency lights beckoning you closer as you sweat panic. The roar of the crowd and the ringing of the phone all around you grows louder, becomes one in the same- you have no choice but to answer the call

Answer- What a wonderful beginning, a beautiful stepping stone. You are on the verge of some great change and it scares you how everything keeps moving forever and forever, on and on. But there are always constants if you look closely at yourself- hold on to the people you hold dear and the small things you love because there is love everywhere- in the creations, the steam of family recipes realized, the dial tones, and in between the pages of the bedside table books. Now that you've looked back, jump frequencies and step out into the sunshine of this new morning.

Action Cat:

Description- You're standing in a light red room, in front of an old television set with static moving across the screen. Suddenly, it rolls out of the box like high tide, surrounding you in the water-wave of pulse and sound. In the middle of the stream you hear a voice, barely heard over the rushing noise. You open your palm and feel the weigh of someone left behind. You open your mouth and you say sorry to the ghost reaching out. In response, the enveloping blanket of fuzz falls away like dominoes

Answer- A reconciliation through the fuzz. You are guilty of something, but don't know how to make up for it, how to patch together an adequate apology for the damage. Don't let your own desire to martyr yourself get in the way of telling the truth. Don't let the fear stop you from feeling love again. Don't let your desire to escape your past mistakes make you forget the good you found there. Reach out and gather beauty wherever you find it- because we all deserve it.

No Shows:

Description- The club is saturated in jolly rancher blues and the walls are shaking with the sound of the bass. Everything is muffled, even standing right next to the stage but when you're up behind that microphone it doesn't matter if no one can hear what you have to say as long as the feedback you hear float through your head is truthful. The walls close in until the only person you're playing for is yourself and your loved ones and the blue walls and here you find where you were meant to be

Answer- An ode to finding your place. In the past, you haven't really felt like you fit in anywhere, that there is no space meant for you to occupy. You've had to fight tooth and nail for what you have and some days you give up and stew in your loneliness. But life is not a jenga board, you are not a puzzle piece looking for a home. You already belong to yourself and you've already made space for the people who matter. There is a purpose in what you have, so find satisfaction here, in who you are and the things you have to share.

Brother:

Description- It's raining- heavy droplets and reflective lights. You shove your way backstage, through the alley door, and enter a revolving space of orange, green, and red like a tilt-a-whirl. But even when you feel like falling over and eating the thick, growing tedrals of the shag carpet, the room is too crowded and the arms of friends and lovers and strangers hold you up

Answer- A song about holding on to drowning hands. You are grasping at whoever will keep you from crashing again, tight white-knuckles digging into shoulders and purple bruised fingernails from the squeezing- violent touches that ground you in the crisp pains of reality you are lucky to have people that inspire such passion for living in your survival response. But you're scared they're going to fall into the same rock bottom you're crawling out of, that your hands are sinking ships pulling them down with you. This is not true- you should never be afraid to ask for help, should always keep a strong grip on the ones you love and you'll all have anchors in the storm.

Millions:

Description- The floor is cool blue metal and you are a passenger on it's surface. Everything is spinning and spinning and spinning- a dizzying kaleidoscope of bright, beautiful lights. But suddenly the lights burn and the surface boils and you break apart, frying in the wonderous sunshine

Answer- A goodbye letter mailed to the wreckage. You are afraid to stop the train car you've boarded, afraid that there is no way to take a different path while the engine runs out of fuel. It's ok to jump ship sometimes. It's ok to quit when the heavy weight of yourself cannot be dragged further. You are not beholden by anyone else but your own livelihood. Say goodbye to the life you lead and apologize later, because you can't be sorry if you're dead.

Zero Zero:

Description- You're in the street- the shatter-crackle of glass under your feet as you make your way through the hazy path of the nightlife the only sound. Everything is quiet but there are nameless faces all around you. They keep coming up to you, silent, passing trinkets and toys and bloody organs into your hands as small talk. You want to go home but the neon lights pull you closer like a tractor beam until you reach the back door of the club. The air is suffocating but the smog is the only oxygen your body is familar with. Maybe if you hold your breath you can turn back and escape

Answer- An accusation against the watchful eye. You are tired of the way people perceive you, are tug-of-warring between wanting the purity of old connections you had back and wanting anonymity moving forward. Fitting yourself into past puzzle pieces while you morph and change is a fool's errand. You can't resurrect the past exact, you can only walk away and hope to recreate yourself anew.

Juarez:

Description- The world rushes past you in a streak of purple-orange desert - in a van, on a train, running on two feet. It never stops, you never stop and you can't even look down at your hands- they're too blurry. You don't know who you are in this inbetween space but maybe you'll reach your destination soon

Answer- The road trip song for the self-journey. You are at a crossroads, your whole life laid out in many different paths and no clear direction where to go. How can you decide what's next when you don't know yourself when you can't recognize your own desires? Just know, if you run fast and far enough you'll burn away the costume graphed to your skin and find the truth lodged underneath your foggy epidermis. Just know that each stage in the process of metamorphosis is still valuable. Is still you. Do not turn back halfway through discovery.

Drugstore Perfume:

Description- Face pressed against the glass of a subway car. The outside is tinged pink, like the glass is tinted and everything you see is just slightly wrong. It's subtle and nauseating but your eyes have long since adjusted to the strain. You're just waiting for your stop to arrive

Answer- A quiet call for running away. You are either stuck somewhere you are trying desperately to escape from or you've already made tire tracks so deep they can still see the scars of your leaving. No matter the small amount of solace you've found here, there is a blood deep desire to take a chance on what could be- otherwise you'll suffocate on the fumes of hometown glory. Just remember the smell never washes out so it's ok to catch a whiff and find a moment of comfort. That doesn't mean you were wrong to get out.

Get the Gang Back Together:

Description- Smoky bars and billards rooms clouded in red and green lighting. There's the leftover remains of a high school reunion crowding inside, getting a drink and getting swallowed in the fuzzy sound of the live band. You can't hear what anyone says but you think everyone is staring at you with jewel-green eyes and wide smirks

Answer- An elegy to old towns, old friends, and older gossip. You are paranoid about the way other people see you, afraid of the judgment strangers whisper when you're not around. But the urge to get out is too strong, it leaves you with no time to explain yourself. Sometimes, you have to craft the perfect alibi for your own disappearance. Do not allow yourself to be bogged down by falsehood, embrace the half-truths told about you in the dark. Become the boogeyman in other people's stories- it won't matter when you're free. After all, the only people who know the truth are the ones leaving too- hold onto that.

How It’s Going to Be:

Description- The figure of Puff the Magic Dragon flying through bright blue skies, weaving between flying pirate ships and landing on smooth, green hillsides

Answer- A storyteller's guide to getting up. You are a fairytale crafter, a person with stories leaking out of your head but you've always waited for early detonation. You'll give the world everything stop-blocking the flow and let the river-water drown you. You just didn't notice you grew gills along the way. Life is not easy when you can't control your own endings. Living cannot be contained in chapter headings anymore and nothing is certain. But the love that keeps finding you is too big and too boring and too beautiful to be a fable. Embrace the spaces unmentioned, the path unknown to you, and live in the margins.

Maya the Psychic:

Description- Bright purple light flashing like a beacon in the nighttime sky is reflecting on the surface of speeding cars, giving off stardust and gold sparks that passerbys cannot see. You run out into the street, collecting the magic reminants before they disappear

Answer- Song interference as a telepathic embrace. You are a person plagued by your own brain, the incessant rattling of your own thoughts drowning everything out. You scare yourselves sometimes with the disruptions, feel too useless to operate your own internal hard drive. But do not be afraid, you are not a monster and you are not alone. There are scores of clairvoyants with feedback filling their heads. You can hear them if you focus. So tune into the good noise, find your frequency, and never fly back down to earth.

Television All the Time:

Description- A bright plastic barbie doll house with a sad little boy inside. He's watching the rain batter the windows and flood the living room

Answer- A track for the dreamers stuck in the illumination of the television set. You are caught between what you want and what the world has placed just out of reach, dissatisfied with the imitation life you've tripped blindly into. Sometimes leaving is the only way to take back control. Sometimes falling on your face is the only way to feel anything but the empty fog. Sometimes real freedom is admitting you're not happy. There are good things all around you if you open your eyes, don't miss them because your eyes are trained on a mirage.

#i think i'm going to do something with these.... so i wanted to have them all together #i have something in mind but. idk. it might take a while....#hesitant alien #my posts #writing library

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relatablemormonmoments · 5 years

Text

Saturday Morning and Afternoon Session Talks

(Note, I listen to Conference rather than watch it, names are probably butchered.)

Ulysses S. Suarez

We need the help of a faithful and inspired teacher, but we also need to teach

Teach your sons and their sons in the ways of the Lord

We need to raise our families in the Lord

Emerse yourself in Scriptures

How do we put principles in the gospel into the actions of our lives?

Actions speak louder than words

Most of our critical spiritual decisions relate to family. (story of a single divorced mother rearing her children)

Mother should guide her children

God wants us back in his presence

Pros: Encourages closeness within our families and with the lord, Encourages us to consider our actions of faith

Cons: The Family A Proclamation to the World, Seemingly excludes those with a poor connection to their families or who converted without their families or whose families have fallen away

Becky Craven

"Happiness, $15" -> cheap trinkets and souvenirs

We as a church are blessed to know how to find true happiness

Car stuck on train tracks-> conductor pulls on emergency break + whistle -> people are able to escape but car is destroyed -> woman watching claims that conductor didn't even try to stop, didn't try to swerve out of the way.

Keep our wheels on the track no matter what obstacles are in our path

Casualness can lead us from the path

World is laiden with distractions, decieving even the elect

We may drown if we aren't careful.

Actions in the "grey" (the "howevers, buts, and althoughs") = "That council does not apply to me"

"If ye love me, keep my commandments"

Doesn't mean being formal or stuffy, but being appropiate

Be more engaged & careful & modest

For the Strength of the Youth applies to each of us (no matter our age, position, or gender)

We need to seek the guidance of the holy ghost

How can we mark ourselves in the Image of Christ?

The world calls us a "peculiar people" which is a large compliment.

We need to widen the distance between ourselves and our worldly influence

Gift of repentance

When you are worthy to recieve personal revelation, you will be blessed and happy

Pros: Gospel is guide to happiness, Doesn't claim that the only way to happiness is through temple marriage, Discusses what leads us from true happiness

Cons: The analogy to a train is nice but doesn't make sense with the rest of her story and implies that there is only one path to happiness, insinuates that temple marriage is part of the path to true happiness, doesn't offer any solutions to avoiding distraction.

Brook P. Hales

God blesses us according to our desires and to his infite wisdom

Scriptures teach us

Lord carefully leads us even if we can't see the results

Lord prepares ways to overcome obstacles before they can occur (Lost Plates and Nephi)

How can God answer us? ->1. Son recieved coat too small, gave it away to another missionary who had been praying for one because he could not afford it (through other people) 2. Joseph (and his coat od many colors) 's brothers sold him rather than killing him, leading to blessings for Egypt and eventual redemption of their family (through.. better circumstances?) 3. Son not hired for dream job, but would have missed a life changing opportunity had he been hired. (Through denying us our wants for eternal perspective)

Patricia Parkinson -> Began going blind at 7 years old, had to go away to boarding school (very home sick) -> Went fully blind at 15, returned home and went to regular highschool-> Eventually gained success at university and in life -> Had a procedure, but came out saying "I'm going to be blind for the rest of my life, I know it, you know it, God knows it." -> Nephew tells her to ask Heavenly Father because Heavenly father grants all of our wishes -> She explains that HF doesn't give us everything when we want it. -> Hales remarks that she's always positive and happy in public but struggles with herself, her disability, and God in private -> she sees that God's hand is in everything

If we keep our commandments, we are blessed by God, even if its not how we expect or want to be blessed.

Pros: Nice approach on how we can struggle with our faith when God doesn't answer us how we want, Good examples of how God does answer us and why he may answer us like that

Cons: Some Ableism in his story about Patricia, simply claims that God will bless us for following commandments

UCHTDORF!!!!!!

Airplanes take 3 hours between Rome and Jerusalem in the present (would take 40 days to travel that distance in Jesus' time)

Even though the church faces persecution, we continue to grow

Put growth into perspective ( A very small flock indeed)

GERMAN SHEPHERD

In some places, the church is shrinking

We must share the good news of the gospel!

How can we fill that great commision in our daily lives?

Share the gospel with friends and acquaintances

Some go out and declare it boldly, others are more hesitant and hide behind the pew when daily missionary work is mentioned, why?

Lord doesn't require expert efforts, but he does require a willing heart and mind

We can draw close to Heavenly Father, Fill our Hearts wirh love for others, and read our scriptures

By doing this we will become better, happier, more authentic

Pros: It's Uchtdorf, Airplanes mentioned, Even small efforts matter

Cons: Airplanes mentioned only once, Encourages a lot of proselytizing in day to day life, Many members are leaving church or going inactive, Really short talk :(

W. Christopher Weidell

His (nonmember) brother (Mike) had Pancreatic cancer, could see the temple from his hospital bed.

Mike became friends with the priesthood leaders, kept askin hc about the church

Mike joined the church and gained strength

Had no pulse when on day gaining Melchezidek priesthood, has pulse as soon as Weidell enters room, he lives to gain the priesthood, but dies 5 hours later.

It takes remarkable efforts to minister

Don't give up on a "Not Interested"-hearts change

Desire tonhelp others achieve deeper conversion

Serving others

Want others to reach divine potential

Sensitive to trials and struggles

We are encouraged to follow the guidings of the Holy Spirit

Trust the Lord

Focus on what's important

It's never too late, you'll never wander too far from the path

Never too soon to extend an invitation

There is always hope

Pros: Heartwarming story about brother, hope if you are inactive and want to come back, hope if yiy have friends or family who have left the church for various reasons

Cons: Influences those really aggressive ministerers to keep going at it, which can weaken someones already weak bond with the church, ITS REALLY SAD, I CRIED OK?

Henry B. Eyring

United as one is the feeling we want in our homes

Families

No contention due to love for God (4th Nephi)

Symptoms of Spiritual Decline TM - How can we protect and increase feelings of love to combat them

Underlying cause=Satan

Reverse spiritual decline in family and in home

Remember the savior as you remember thine sins

Praying as a family brings you closer together

Family who prays together is together, even when far apart

Offer the gospel to your enemies

Examples of Parents

Worry about Celestial Kingdom and the Family Arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine

Pros: Talks about strengthening family bonds, NOT ABOUT THE PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD!!!, strengthen love for God=strengthen family, FOUND FAMILIES? NON NUCLEAR/TRADITIONAL FAMILIES? ?!?!, All you need is love, Love is all you need

Cons: May encourage abusive/extremist parents to shove gospel down childrens throats to "strengthen family" therefore pushing children away

M. Russel Ballard

Can't control what impacts our life, we can control how it impacts our happiness

Do the best we can each day

Heavenly Father loves you

Love God, Love Neighbors

Find peace and happiness in your life

We minister because we love others

Preform Temple ordinances

Keep it simple

Pros: Don't worry be happy, If you follow the commandments you will find happiness, Keep it simple (KonMarie LDS edition)

Cons: The whole we can control how it impacts our happiness doesn't include neurodivergent people, especially those with depression.

Mathias Held

Found a church (ours) where he felt at home

Personal growth, education, humanitarian efforts, self-reliance

Wanted to know everything about the church before joining

Mosiah 1:18

Confident that Heavenly Father would guide him

Through the power of the Holy Ghost we may know all things

Pros: Short and sweet, lists what attracts people to the church

Cons: May make some people in process of conversion feel left out or like they aren't on track/moving fast enough

Neil Anderson

God has given us a way to learn essential truths

See truths of God through the Eye of Faith

Spirit sons and daughters (AND CHILDREN, ELDER ANDERSON! AND CHILDREN!) lived with and worshipped god

We all knew God's plan for us

Prophets see ahead, not only the dangers, but the privileges and blessings

Faith, patience, and diligence

We are all part of a larger family

God will shine his approval on you

Pros: Its about the Plan of Salvation, Eye of Faith, We are all part of a larger family and should strive to help each other, I like the notion that the prophets are also seeing Good things because the world has been very much the bad place as of late..

Cons: I'm pretty sure this is the one where he mentions his LGBTQIA friend who was all like "we need to abandon the ways of the world and thus I be celibate" so... Slight homophobia maybe? I don't know I didn't write it down but a lot of people are bothered by this

Takashi Wada

Overcome darts of the Adversart

True feasting is an experience of joy and thanksgiving

Feasting on scriptures should build our relationship with God

Hearts filled with Gratitude

1. words of Christ increase spiritual capacity for revelation

2. when we struggle with our identity and self esteem, turn to the scriptures

3. live lives of others through the scriptures

A little boy handed Wada's mother a hymn book even though she coukd have easily accessed it herself, an innocent act of kindness he learned through the church and his parents

Hearts burn within us when we read the scriptures

Ye shall have eternity

Pro: This man??? so Sweet??? Hi I love him?, Very innocent stories, very funny.

Con: There is none. Perfect talk.

David P. Homer

"I'm sorry I didn't bear my testimony today, I love you"

1. Critical moments, multiple voices with competing directions, 2. Vital that we listen to the right one

We often focus on what's convenient

Popular =/= best

Mountain climbers' death zone= Spiritual too much time in bad places

Korihor

Impressions given by the Holy Ghost

Seek God's voice

Be doers of the word, not just hearers

Answers can be slow to come

Heavenly Father makes it possible to hear and follow his commandments.

Pro: His opening quote is really cute, Wow this is a call out talk

Con: You may feel called out if you don't follow commandments

Jeffery R. Holland

Adam and Eve closed door to immortality

Help comes from the Lamp of God

Offer broken heart and contrite spirit

Reduce clamor in our buildings

Be mindful of broken hearts and sad spirits around us

No shortage of suffering in the world

Lift load from those who are burdened

Bring tears to the Lord's Sacrificial Altar

Pros: calls people to acknowledge those who are hurt around us, calls people to stop using church for socialization

Cons: What is a Lamp of God?, How can we focus on broken hearts and contrite spirits without hurting them?

#book of mormon #mormon #queerstake #lds #ldsteen #tumblrstake #gencon #general conference #lds conference #mormon conference #latter day saints conference #latter day saints #the church of jesus christ of latter day saints

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hufflepuff-ravenclaw-reviews · 5 years

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Proven Innocent Season 1 Episode 9

Trigger warning: this episode deals with rape

We open on Madeline once again visiting her girlfriend in prison. After telling her girlfriend that her parents are eager to meet her, they then discuss her last parole hearing. Madeline is going to be a character witness, obviously. Madeline is also certain that her girlfriend's got this, because she hasn't been in trouble in five years, and she's got a leadership position in the cafeteria.

Back at the office, a couple comes in and tells Madeline about how their son was wrongfully convicted of a rape-murder, of which they have DNA evidence that would free him. Easy and Madeline go talk to guy, who says that he's been studying law so that he can free himself, because the only thing he knows is that he didn't do this. He was in high school, but he sold pot. So he got invited to this frat party. He drank too much and passed out in somebody's room. He woke up to the police arresting him, and a dead body in the room that he'd never seen before. He somehow or another got the semen from the girl's rape kit tested, and the DNA didn't match his own.

Later, Bodie says that they should only take super easy cases where the client does all of the work. Just then, the lady who'd been helping them with the death row case a few episodes back comes in. The execution drugs in Ohio are about to expire, to literally every single death row inmate is back on death row, and each of them is being pushed through the system.

And I have to say a few things about this: I'm usually pretty in favor for the death penalty. There are horrible people in the world and I don't want my tax dollars funding them sitting around in a jail somewhere for years as they wait to die of natural causes in their 90's. However, deciding to kill a whole bunch of people because your murderer-be-gone juice is about to go bad is a shitty reason to decide to kill people.

From here on out, the episode splits and follows Easy (with Bodie) helping get the one client off from the rape-murder charge, and then Madeline and Violet in Ohio fighting against the unjust death penalty.

But first, let's start with the two lesser subplots.

Up first is Levi. We don't see much of him this episode (and literally nothing with Isabel). He called up that goth chick from several episodes ago, the one who was friends with Heather in high school, but then Heather made her OD on drugs, and she went from “queen bee” to hardcore goth.

Levi talks about how he got into drugs when he was in prison, but she kind of doesn't want to “compare battle scars”. This of course leads them to talking about Rosemary's murder, and she says that it changed literally everything.

And now, Bellows's subplot. His new political campaign manager is encouraging him to push his platform of being pro-death penalty, especially in regards to Rosemary's Law. Having been a lawyer for many years, Bellows has seen the absolute worst of the worst, and he's very much in favor of it. However, he's always remained neutral in the face of the public.

He talks it over with his wife the next morning, who gives some sage advice as far as politics go: it doesn't matter what you do or say so long as you're elected. After that, then you can make up your mind. This prompts Bellows to call both his managers into the office and he fires the old one, which means that he's going to publicly support the death penalty.

Even later, he talks about it with his campaign sponsor. The sponsor is pleased that Bellows is doing things in the Bellows way, rather than to just blindly follow whatever the manager suggests.

And with Easy... First, he goes before the judge to show the new DNA tests, all of which were never actually performed at the time of the original arrest and sentencing. This is because nobody fucking believed that the guy who was in the room as the dead girl wouldn't have done the crime. The judge is Easy's former teacher and mentor, of which is brought up in the court just to make sure that the DA is aware of this and okay with it.

However, the judge says that the young man is cleared of any wrong-doing of the rape... but not the murder. Just because he didn't rape her didn't mean that he didn't go in and murder her after the rape. Which... it seems kind of fair, I suppose.

Back at the office, Easy and Bodie look at all of the frat brothers who were at the school at that time. Of course, this crime happened some 25 years earlier, so now these people are not only in their 40's... but are all kind of major movers and shakers in the community.

Bodie and Easy go to a Christmas party where a bunch of the old frat boys would be. They're easy to talk to... until they let on that they're lawyers working on this case. And then they suddenly shut down and ask them to leave.

As they're going, Bodie gets the idea to run the DNA through the criminal DNA database. However, Easy isn't so certain that it'll pop any hits, since these are “good boys” who do their crimes in the dark, and who have money to cover it up and never be found out. Ugh.

Easy was right, but Bodie does come up with something interesting: the mystery raper has a son, who's submitted his DNA to try and figure out who his father is.

They track down where this young man lives, but instead end up talking to his mother. She tells them that she was in the same sorority as the murdered girl, and knew her. A little while before that rape-murder happened, she herself was partying, drank too much, passed out, and woke up to somebody raping her. When she found out that she was pregnant, she ran off and never looked back.

She also tells them that she was the girlfriend of one of the frat boys, and the other frat boy raped her. So Bodie and Easy track down the former boyfriend, who doesn't want to talk to them... So they're like “Will you talk to her?” The guy then spills the beans about what really happened the night of the murder. He and the other guy cornered the girl upstairs. They were going to tag-team her, but the one guy chickened out and left. (Why he never came forward with this information is beyond me, but sure.)

With this new evidence, Easy goes back to the court. However, the judge is... confused. He keeps saying stuff like how long it's been since he last saw Easy, and to bring in the jury. However, there is no jury, because this is a preliminary hearing.

Easy goes to the judge's office later, and tries to convince the judge that his memory is slipping and maybe he should step down from the bench. However, he won't listen, even when he says that his wife died a year ago, but Easy says that it was four years ago. But then Easy says that he's going to submit a brief based off of such-and-such legal paper. The judge doesn't know it. Really? Because it's been quoted even by the Supreme Court of the United States? Still nothing. But the judge wrote it.

And that's what convinces him that he really needs to step down. The next morning, he makes this grand speech in front of the courtroom about his failing health, and promises that the next judge will take good care of them.

The judge who replaces him almost instantly grants the client his freedom with all of the overwhelming evidence that he didn't do it. (We don't see any of the actual trial, just setting him free.)

And finally, with Madeline. Obviously their first step is to remind a judge that another judge had already granted their client a stay of execution. However, this judge is quick to remind them that this is only under the assumption that they can find new evidence. Which they haven't exactly done. So it's back to the drawing board.

Since the murdered cop was supposed to have been undercover, he would have had a handler, somebody who he reported to, who would know where he was at all times. Madeline submits papers to find out more about this, and Violet uncovers something interesting. A former officer who worked over the murdered cop now currently works for the local mob boss. However, their Ohio lady tells them that the man is untouchable because he puts his illegally gained money into creating legitimate jobs.

Violet and Madeline go talk to the current bodyguard/former officer of the law, but the mob boss shows up and is quick to shut them down. However, the things that the bodyguard said weren't exactly a smoking gun of proof that he himself had done anything... but the entire thing is highly suspicious as fuck-all.

As they're leaving, Madeline's girlfriend calls. But helping get somebody off from death row in another state is more important than being a character witness... especially because she has other character witnesses, and those haven't been in jail before. The girlfriend seems upset, but understanding.

Madeline gets the bodyguard to testify, but the judge still doesn't buy anything. Madeline tries to argue that a former officer who'd been investigating the mob boss that he now currently works for is suspicious, but the judge clearly doesn't care. (And if you ask me, the entire legal system stinks to high heavens.)

They're now out of options... and out of time. Even though Madeline says that she'll keep fighting, there's little else that she can do at this point. However, their client says that he's ready to go. He says about how whenever somebody is taken to the death chamber, all of the other death-row inmates bang on the doors and scream as loud as they can as a show of support. But he says that he's not afraid because Madeline believes him.

So the man is murdered by the state. And Madeline just sits back at the office in Chicago and fumes about how unfair that the entire system is that just murdered somebody with overwhelming evidence, but literally nobody cared about any of that.

Later, Madeline meets her girlfriend in prison as she gets released.

#PROVEN INNOCENT #The Ravenclaw mod

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shemakesmeforget · 6 years

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15 fics under 1K kudos

We all know how tempting is to sort fics by kudos, so I'm doing that lol I hope you all enjoy this underrated gems. I might do a part 2, I'm definitely posting a list for wips tomorrow (these are all completed fics btw). I have some moodboards coming, but for now you can check here and for other fic recs here. Okay, let's go!

How to Surprise Your Fiancé With Pork: An Honest Walkthrough by Viktor Nikiforov by Orchids_and_Fictional_Cities (@orchids-and-fictional-cities)

Canonverse, Rated T, 5K

The thing with Viktor is that once he’s set his mind on something, there is a very very minuscule chance of him not following through on said thing.

He wants to do something for Yuuri: partly as a Valentine’s Day gift, partly as a prelude to Worlds, and partly ‘just because’. It’s somewhere between dwelling on the abstract thought of Yuuri’s hunger as a competitor, and watching the younger skater on Facetime with his mother back home, that an idea starts to form..

This is how Katsuki Yuuri, the love of his life, the apple of his eye, the fire of his loins et cetera, ad infinitum, finds Viktor when he walks into the door: standing precariously with one foot on a barstool and the other on top of his counter, frantically fanning at his smoke detector with a magazine.

• This is hilarious, sweet Viktor... he tries so so hard (also I relate to this more than I would like lol)

voices carry by spookyfoot (@spookyfoot)

Canonverse, Rated T, 4K

God Chris is loud, Victor thinks, half of his glass of vodka sloshing onto the floor as another rhythmic thump sounds against the shared wall between his and Chris’ rooms. Would the hotel allow him to change rooms so late at night? He could probably manage it no problem, but his toiletries are spread all over the bathroom and by the time he packs those up Chris and his…guest should be finished.

He’ll have to wait it out.

A moan floats through the wall. Victor’s not sure if it’s approving his plan or warning him to give up while he still can.

He pours himself some more vodka.

“Fill me up,” Chris's Fuck Buddy (CFB) says.

Oh god. Victor takes a long pull of vodka from his glass.

For once, Chris is quiet enough that Victor can’t hear anything beyond a murmur. And he thinks that’s that until—

“Fuck a baby into me,” Chris’ bedmate moans.

Victor chokes on his drink.

_____

Meet cute by way of pregnancy kink

• *heavy breathing* seriously?? You're giving us Yuuri doing the walk of shame and YUUCHRIS??? beware I laughed so hard I cried, so much secondhand embarrassment.

Lay Your Head by kiaronna (@kiaronna)

Canonverse, Rated G, 2K

By the time they end up sharing a bed, they’ve already slept next to each other everywhere else.

• I LOVE this trope so much omg, you’re in for a treat A DELIGHT.

overture for two (me & you) by oh_fudgecakes (@asideoftrashplease)

Canonverse, Rated E, 21K

Plagued by his poor performance at the GPF, Yuuri’s disastrous free at Japanese Nationals ends not just in eleventh-place, but deals him with a lasting injury, resulting in him retiring before the events of the show. He becomes a commentator, determined to move on from his uneventful skating career. Yet, a series of chance meetings with a smitten Viktor and his own yearning for the ice keeps drawing him back to competitive figure skating.

In which everything's different, but it all ends the same anyway.

• Commentor!Yuuri owns me lol (all Yuuris own me), a great balance between angst and humor.

Lead Me To You by luni

Canonverse, Rated E, 68K

Victor Nikiforov, Russia’s living legend of figure skating, is forced to take most part of the season off because of a rather serious injury. A comeback, no matter how exciting or unexpected, is never easy- especially when the person who is supposed to help Victor through most of it is none other than Katsuki Yuuri, former ace of Japan, now retired.

• Role reversal!! Coach Yuuri!!!! angsty af but oh dear they're crazy for each other.

Ode To Apollo 13 by cerebella (@badkisser)

Space AU, Rated E, 66K

Yuuri Katsuki has his first and only breakup, and reacts the only way he knows how: board a starship and live out the rest of his life in outer space, millions of light years from the home planet he loves.

It doesn't work.

• Getting back together is a trope I really enjoy, also friends with benefits *praying hands emoji * Particularly I like the flashback to their school days and, if you squint, you have some sweet yuuchris too <3

were stars to burn by xylophones (@xyloophones)

Space AU, Rated T, 7K

How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us we could not return?

“I’ll call,” Viktor promises, “I’ll write, I’ll send holo videos, I’ll–– I’ll–– I’ll––”

He doesn’t say “I’ll stay if you ask” but he thinks it. He thinks about asking Yuuri to wait for him.

He won’t.

(But he thinks about it: Yuuri, pointing up at the night sky and saying “there’s the love of my life, among the planets, among the streaks of light above us.”)

• I dont wanna say I cried like a baby because that would be insulting to babies. So sad and beautiful.

Follow Me Down the Milky Way by Skowronek and voxofthevoid (@kaja-skowronek and @voxofthevoid)

Space AU, Rated E, 17K

When decorated space officer Viktor Nikiforov is sent on a mission to bring down an infamous smuggler, he does not expect to be swept off his feet by a pole dancer as mysterious as he is deadly.

Yuuri Katsuki simply tries to make the galaxy a better place with as little collateral damage as possible, but that's easier said than done when a fleet commander's son sneaks into his ship and a pretty officer with a thigh fetish is after his head and dick both.

• BAMF!Yuuri <3 finally Yuuri's thighs get the appreciation and love they deserve. Very sweet and funny!

quantum entanglement by minsyah (@pockybugi)

College/Coffee Shop AU, Rated T, 17K

For some reason, the man—Viktor—sits in front of him, silver hair flouncing as he settles comfortably into the chair, introducing himself as Yuuri’s new math tutor with an easy smile.

And Yuuri, 25 years old with a Ph.D. in Applied Mathematics…doesn’t correct him.

(Viktor mistakes Yuuri for a high school student struggling with Geometry. Yuuri’s too awkward to figure out how to tell him otherwise.)

• I'm still laughing so hard. The ultimate meet cute! Yuuri is a dork, my sweet child.

Can you, not? by shereadsthestars

College AU, Rated M, 7K

"Stop moving," Yuuri hisses.

"I'm not moving," Viktor hisses right back, causing Yuuri to roll his eyes.

"Yes, you are," he says, adjusting himself to the best of his ability so as to accommodate Viktor's incessant shifting. "Or I wouldn't have told you not to."

"Whatever," Viktor breathes, then, without missing a beat, "Go out with me."

"No."

• Viktor is so in love, Yuuri tries very hard to not fall in love but everything works out in the end. Cute angst? cute angst!

faking in secret by DefiantDreams (@gia-comeatme)

College AU, Rated T, 14K

It gets kind of difficult when you’re simultaneously fake dating and dating in secret at the same time.

Yuuri and Viktor make it work—until they don’t.

• FAKE SECRET DATING GOOD GOD. This Yuuri omg!!!! oblivious heartbreakek to the max. Adorable and hilarious.

Foresight, not just foreplay by myoue (@cofferi)

Roommates AU, Rated M, 6K

There’s no way I could have casual sex, Victor says, I’d fall in love immediately.

• Friends with benefits is my weakness and oh?? This fic???? I adore how they dance around each other. Just wonderful!

life with the dull bits cut out by thishasbeencary (@yoyoplisetsky)

Actors AU, Rated T, 9K

Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katuski have been best friends since acting school. Viktor got his big break early, and brought Yuuri on to every exciting event and premier in his career. As Yuuri's career takes off, he does the same with Viktor. They do everything together, and act like they've known each other for their entire lives.

Their fans think they're in love.

(Spoilers: They are.)

• This fic literally made me cry at work, friends to lovers is my favorite trope ever and mutual pining AND OMG THIS IS SO CUTE I WANNA CRY AGAIN, amazing.

The Viktor Nikiforov Affair by YankingAwry (@rvancoogler)

Heist AU, Rated T, 13K

Viktor tries wooing Yuuri. Yuuri will not be wooed. And then there's the small matter of Viktor being a Russian master criminal art thief extraordinaire, Yuuri being the Interpol agent assigned to handle him, and the imminent theft of a hundred million dollar painting.

There's tension throughout the whole fic, Yuuri tries do hard and Viktor tries the hardest.

• The fic I didn’t know I needed BUT I DID, such a good read! this Viktor must be one of my faves, hands down.

Comes Love by Multiple_Universes (@witharthurkirkland)

Burlesque AU, Rated M, 46K

People in the audience would crane their necks to watch Yuuri sit and calmly sip his drink. He’d raise the glass to his lips and down its contents slowly, as if the gold liquid was honey and not champagne. Or he’d get a cocktail and drink it through a straw in a way that would make the men around him break out into a cold sweat. Then he’d cross his legs and recline in his seat and it didn’t matter what was happening on the stage: every eye in the room was on him. The regulars often said that no one could cross their legs like Eros did.

That night he sat in his usual spot and watched the stage with unseeing eyes. Two weeks of someone leaving a bouquet of roses would make anyone curious. He’d always find them in the same spot. There were always seven of them. And they always came without a note. But Yuuri knew they were all from the same person.

A Burlesque AU with Yuuri as a performer and Victor as his admirer.

• Are you ready to experience the best visuals of your existence? *fans self* This Yuuri is just too powerful, def too much to handle (praying for Viktor). Strip and fluff is now my new religion. It was angsty at times but overall it was very sexy and cute, so lovely.

#me: i should study no more fic for today #*does this list instead*#oh well #yuri on ice #fic rec #yoi fic rec #also i realized i'm a cry baby #ps these are all victuuri :)#also formatting this was the worst but know i tried hah #chel fic recs

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blogginghuman · 4 years

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The Strokes prove they’re still kicking twenty years later in “The New Abnormal”

They were the band of the noughties, the one many music fans believed had split until their performance at 2019 Lollapalooza and a Bernie Sanders rally earlier this year.

They make “Bad Decisions,” share an “Ode to the Mets” and wonder “Why Are Sundays So Depressing.”

The Strokes return older and wiser in the aptly-titled “The New Abnormal.”

In “Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus,” despondent lyrics search for new friends “but they don’t want me.” The former friends may be stuck in the past, as the singer asks where the eighties bands went.

“Ode to the Mets” tries to hold on to the “old times,” but realizes old friends long forgotten and old ways at the bottom must be released.

The album flashes back to Moscow in 1972 during “Bad Decisions”, deciding “I will leave it in my dreams.”

Although “Bad Decisions” seems primarily a love song (or an anti-love song,) it is possible that “Pick up your gun / Put up your glove / Save us from harm / Safe or alone” refers to the May 22, 1972 Moscow summit between President Richard Nixon and Soviet leaders.

It was at this meeting that Nixon and Leonid Brezhnev of the Soviet Union signed the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty, which “limited the United States and the USSR to 200 antiballistic missiles each.”

Given lead singer Julian Casablancas’ deep interest in politics and his own Nixon mention in an interview, “Bad Decisions” is undoubtedly a song that carries a double entendre: disparaging a broken relationship while simultaneously analyzing the Summit and its impact.

The vinyl provides a velvety sound of “The New Abnormal” that is missing from the Spotify version.

In record form, it comes with a cover that transforms into a magnificent poster of the band against a sunset backdrop. The poster is reversible; one side shows the band and the other expands into a larger version of the cover art.

It is the band’s first album since 2013’s “Comedown Machine.”

The Strokes formed in Manhattan in 1998, but its sound is more reminiscent of a British rock band of yesteryear.

Casablancas, bassist Nikolai Fraiture, guitarist Albert Hammond Jr., drummer Fabrizio Moretti and guitarist Nick Valensi met through various New York schools and a Swiss boarding school.

It was a Velvet Underground CD gifted to Fraiture by his brother that inspired The Strokes’ creation.

“They had this reputation in the press of being bad boys. Drinking a lot, getting into trouble. That was their whole persona, cool New York, don’t give-a-fuck type of dudes,” said blogger Laura Young, cited in an article by The Guardian.

Their debut album, 2001 “Is This It” was released after their first demo headlined Reading Festival in the United Kingdom.

It was also released shortly after 9/11, on October 9, 2001.

“New York was grieving and dazed, but the Strokes seemed so emblematic of the city’s excesses and allure that loving them felt nearly patriotic,” wrote Amanda Petrusich of The New Yorker in April.

According to American Songwriter, The Strokes fell victim to rumors and claims that “they were secretly just unskilled pretty boys chosen for their looks … and that they’d stolen all their ideas from seminal punk bands like Television and The Velvet Underground.”

Hammond, Jr. particularly struggled with a drug addiction encouraged by Ryan Adams.

“I remember Julian [Casablancas] threatening to beat Ryan up if he hung out with me, as a protective thing. He’d heard that Ryan would come and give me heroin, so he was just like, ‘If you come to my apartment again with heroin, I’m going to kick your ass,’” Hammond Jr. told Vulture in 2017.

“I think heroin just kind of crosses a line. It can take a person’s soul away. So it’s like if someone is trying to give your friend a lobotomy – you’re gonna step in,” Casablancas said.

Despite a damaged reputation by 2003, the band pressed on and continued making music.

“…They never sold that many records, but they made really good records. The reach, the awareness of them was so much greater than the record sales,” said artist Richard Melville Hall (Moby.)

“I just think the quality of art, of humanity, has always been relatively similar and there’s always great, inspiring, boundary-pushing things happening at all times. And my dream, goal, hope is that things that are more important and powerful and meaningful become more popular in their own time than later,” Casablancas told Rhian Daly of NME in May.

“We were kids that wanted to conquer the world, but we had no idea that we were going to be given the chance,” said Moretti.

#New York #rock music #music reviews #The Strokes #music

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quietya · 7 years

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September 2017’s #quietYA Picks

Hi all! So, YA Interrobang is on hiatus for the rest of the year and I already had a lot of obligations, so I kept forgetting to put this together for y’all without someone giving me a deadline. But I didn’t want to miss out on highlighting these books since September was a HUGE month for new releases (and so is October - that list will be coming out later this week) and I want to make sure y’all didn’t miss some epicness.

The Girl with the Red Balloon by Katherine Locke

Release date: September 1

When sixteen-year-old Ellie Baum accidentally time-travels via red balloon to 1988 East Berlin, she’s caught up in a conspiracy of history and magic. She meets members of an underground guild in East Berlin who use balloons and magic to help people escape over the Wall—but even to the balloon makers, Ellie’s time travel is a mystery. When it becomes clear that someone is using dark magic to change history, Ellie must risk everything—including her only way home—to stop the process.

Glow by Megan E. Bryant

Release date: September 1

When thrift-store aficionado Julie discovers a series of antique paintings with hidden glowing images that are only visible in the dark, she wants to learn more about the artist. In her search, she uncovers a century-old romance and the haunting true story of the Radium Girls, young women who used radioactive paint to make the world's first glow-in-the-dark products—and ultimately became radioactive themselves. As Julie’s obsession with the paintings mounts, truths about the Radium Girls—and her own complicated relationships—are revealed. But will she uncover the truth about the luminous paintings before putting herself and everyone she loves at risk?

Alexander Hamilton, Revolutionary by Martha Brockenbrough

Release date: September 5

Discover the incredible true story behind the Tony Award-winning musical – Hamilton’s early years in the Caribbean; his involvement in the Revolutionary War; and his groundbreaking role in government, which still shapes American government today. Easy to follow, this gripping account of a founding father and American icon features illustrations, maps, timelines, infographics, and additional information ranging from Hamilton's own writings to facts about fashion, music, etiquette and custom of the times, including best historical insults and the etiquette of duels.

She, Myself, and I by Emma Young

Release date: September 5

Rosa—an eighteen-year-old from London—is quadriplegic. Her doting (if a bit stifling) parents and charming older brother are her entire world. But Rosa yearns for more; so when a doctor from Boston chooses her to be a candidate for a risky experimental surgery, she and her family move to Massachusetts in search of a miracle. Sylvia—a girl from a small town in New England—is brain-dead. Her parents have donated Sylvia’s body to Rosa’s cause. Rosa wakes up from surgery as the first successful brain transplant survivor—by all accounts, a medical anomaly. She should be ecstatic, but she can’t help wondering with increasing obsession who Sylvia was and what her life was like. Rosa’s fascination with her new body and her desire to understand Sylvia prompt a road trip based on discovery and a surprising new romance. But will Rosa be able to solve the dilemma of her identity? Who is she, in another girl’s body?

All About Mia by Lisa Williamson

Release date: September 12

"That girl is such a mess." "Why can't she be like her sisters?" Blah, blah, blah. That's all Mia Campbell-Richardson ever hears. From her parents, her teachers, and her never-do-wrong older sister, Grace. So what if she parties too hard and studies too little? Who cares if she tends to end up with the wrong guys or says the wrong things at the wrong times? She's still a good friend (except when she isn't). And she still knows the way things should go (except when they don't). When Grace comes home with shocking news, Mia hopes that it's finally Grace's turn to get into trouble. But instead it's Mia whose life spirals out of control.

Odd & True by Cat Winters

Release date: September 12

Trudchen grew up hearing Odette’s stories of their monster-slaying mother and a magician’s curse. But now that Tru’s older, she’s starting to wonder if her older sister’s tales were just comforting lies, especially because there’s nothing fantastic about her own life—permanently disabled and in constant pain from childhood polio. In 1909, after a two-year absence, Od reappears with a suitcase supposedly full of weapons and a promise to rescue Tru from the monsters on their way to attack her. But it’s Od who seems haunted by something. And when the sisters’ search for their mother leads them to a face-off with the Leeds Devil, a nightmarish beast that’s wreaking havoc in the Mid-Atlantic states, Tru discovers the peculiar possibility that she and her sister—despite their dark pasts and ordinary appearances—might, indeed, have magic after all.

Water in May by Ismee Amiel Williams

Release date: September 12

Fifteen-year-old Mari Pujols believes that the baby she’s carrying will finally mean she’ll have a family member who will love her deeply and won’t ever leave her—not like her mama, who took off when she was eight; or her papi, who’s in jail; or her abuela, who wants as little to do with her as possible. But when doctors discover a potentially fatal heart defect in the fetus, Mari faces choices she never could have imagined. Surrounded by her loyal girl crew, her off-and-on boyfriend, and a dedicated doctor, Mari navigates a decision that could emotionally cripple the bravest of women. But both Mari and the broken-hearted baby inside her are fighters; and it doesn’t take long to discover that this sick baby has the strength to heal an entire family.

You Bring the Distant Near by Mitali Perkins

Release date: September 12

Five girls. Three generations. One great American love story. You Bring the Distant Near explores sisterhood, first loves, friendship, and the inheritance of culture--for better or worse. Ranee, worried that her children are losing their Indian culture; Sonia, wrapped up in a forbidden biracial love affair; Tara, seeking the limelight to hide her true self; Shanti, desperately trying to make peace in the family; Anna, fighting to preserve Bengal tigers and her Bengali identity--award-winning author Mitali Perkins weaves together a sweeping story of five women at once intimately relatable and yet entirely new.

Moxie by Jennifer Mathieu

Release date: September 19

Vivian Carter is fed up. Fed up with her small-town Texas high school that thinks the football team can do no wrong. Fed up with sexist dress codes and hallway harassment. But most of all, Viv Carter is fed up with always following the rules. Viv’s mom was a punk rock Riot Grrrl in the ’90s, so now Viv takes a page from her mother’s past and creates a feminist zine that she distributes anonymously to her classmates. She’s just blowing off steam, but other girls respond. Pretty soon Viv is forging friendships with other young women across the divides of cliques and popularity rankings, and she realizes that what she has started is nothing short of a girl revolution.

Murder, Magic, and What We Wore by Kelly Jones

Release date: September 19

The year is 1818, the city is London, and our heroine, 16-year-old Annis Whitworth, has just learned that her father is dead and all his money is missing. And so, of course, she decides to become a spy. Annis always suspected that her father was a spy, so following in his footsteps to unmask his killer makes perfect sense. Alas, it does not make sense to England’s current spymasters—not even when Annis reveals that she has the rare magical ability to sew glamours: garments that can disguise the wearer completely. Well, if the spies are too pigheaded to take on a young woman of quality, then Annis will take them on. She’ll follow the clues her father left behind and discover what befell him. She’ll prove she can sew an impenetrable disguise. She’ll earn a living without stooping to become a—shudder—governess. It can’t be any harder than navigating the London social season, can it?

Speak Easy, Speak Love by McKelle George

Release date: September 19

After she gets kicked out of boarding school, seventeen-year-old Beatrice goes to her uncle’s estate on Long Island. But Hey Nonny Nonny is more than just a rundown old mansion. Beatrice’s cousin, Hero, runs a struggling speakeasy out of the basement—one that might not survive the summer. Along with Prince, a poor young man determined to prove his worth; his brother John, a dark and dangerous agent of the local mob; Benedick, a handsome trust-fund kid trying to become a writer; and Maggie, a beautiful and talented singer; Beatrice and Hero throw all their efforts into planning a massive party to save the speakeasy. Despite all their worries, the summer is beautiful, love is in the air, and Beatrice and Benedick are caught up in a romantic battle of wits that their friends might be quietly orchestrating in the background.

The Victoria in My Head by Janelle Milanes

Release date: September 19

Victoria Cruz inhabits two worlds: In one, she is a rock star, thrashing the stage with her husky voice and purple-streaked hair. In the other, currently serving as her reality, Victoria is a shy teenager with overprotective Cuban parents, who sleepwalks through her life at the prestigious Evanston Academy. Unable to overcome the whole paralyzing-stage-fright thing, Victoria settles for living inside her fantasies, where nothing can go wrong and everything is set to her expertly crafted music playlists. But after a chance encounter with an unattainably gorgeous boy named Strand, whose band seeks a lead singer, Victoria is tempted to turn her fevered daydreams into reality. To do that, she must confront her insecurities and break away from the treadmill that is her life. Suddenly, Victoria is faced with the choice of staying on the path she’s always known and straying off-course to find love, adventure, and danger.

A Short History of the Girl Next Door by Jared Reck

Release date: September 26

Fifteen-year-old Matt Wainwright is in turmoil. He can’t tell his lifelong best friend, Tabby, how he really feels about her; his promising basketball skills are being overshadowed by his attitude on the court, and the only place he feels normal is in English class, where he can express his inner thoughts in quirky poems and essays. Matt is desperately hoping that Tabby will reciprocate his feelings; but then Tabby starts dating Liam Branson, senior basketball star and all-around great guy. Losing Tabby to Branson is bad enough; but, as Matt soon discovers, he’s close to losing everything that matters most to him.

Starfish by Akemi Dawn Bowman

Release date: September 26

Kiko Himura has always had a hard time saying exactly what she’s thinking. With a mother who makes her feel unremarkable and a half-Japanese heritage she doesn’t quite understand, Kiko prefers to keep her head down, certain that once she makes it into her dream art school, Prism, her real life will begin. But then Kiko doesn’t get into Prism, at the same time her abusive uncle moves back in with her family. So when she receives an invitation from her childhood friend to leave her small town and tour art schools on the west coast, Kiko jumps at the opportunity in spite of the anxieties and fears that attempt to hold her back. And now that she is finally free to be her own person outside the constricting walls of her home life, Kiko learns life-changing truths about herself, her past, and how to be brave.

#quietya #this is your mod speaking #book lists #wndb #mogai

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salmankhanholics · 6 years

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★ “Salman Khan is the ROCKY and RAMBO of Bollywood” – Ali Abbas Zafar !

Faridoon Shahryar | Nov 8, 2017

The promo of Tiger Zinda Hai is getting an insane response. Writer Director Ali Abbas Zafar in a worldwide exclusive with Bollywood Hungama‘s Faridoon Shahryar opens up in detail about his film that has displayed an international class. Ali speaks about Salman Khan‘s star power, the hard working Katrina Kaif, the exotic locations that blazed with heat, the music of the film and how he convinced Girish Karnad sahab to act in the film.

The promo of Tiger Zinda Hai is far bigger than what the posters promised. And if this is the trailer toh film kya hone wali hai. Is it a conscious decision to take a film like this to many notches higher than Sultan?

Well I didn’t feel that was the reason I made Tiger Zinda Hai. I always feel that the scale of the film comes from the story. The most important part of Tiger Zinda Hai is that even before it became a sequel, first I wrote the story and I had no idea it will go and become Tiger Zinda Hai. I just wrote a story and it was inspired by real events and it happened in 2014. There was so much press coverage of it and there were so many political meetings about it. And I thought that those nurses getting kidnapped and captured was a very interesting chapter. It was a completely individual story than a Tiger Zinda Hai sequel. I shared the story with Aditya Chopra while we were shooting Sultan and he said what are you doing after this and I said I don’t know. So he said koi kahani hai? And I kind of shared the story with him. He said the story is very good. And when Sultan released he said ab kya karna hai? So I told him the same story as a Tiger sequel, and he started smiling and he said that’s a smart one. I think both Katrina and Salman came on board because they felt that the story was worth telling in a genre that I want to tell. It’s an action drama, it’s a spy espionage but what triggers the entire genre is the story. That is what brings scale to the film. When I wrote the entire script and took it to Adi, first thing he did was take a breath and said that we have to mount it like an international film. He told me you can’t make it look like a substandard film, get the crew from entire world, find the best crew to execute it. So when you see the trailer and the film you’ll see that we put detailed attention to how that country looks. A country that is in the middle of a war, as the film is triggered by a real story we kept the tone of the film very real. Salman’s Tiger character and Katrina Kaif’s character will give you the flamboyance of a hero and a heroine but they are still contained. They are not like Superhero and Wonder woman, they are real and emotional. There is a reason why they are on that mission, their internal chemistry and what’s going on between the two of them. Characters from the first part are there, then there are new characters, the cast is from all around the world, Iran Abu Dabi, Dubai, UK, America. It’s an ensemble cast.

A film becomes a talking point because of its topic. This film is not only about guns blazing and high octane action. You are having references to ISIS, turmoil of middle-east, trailer starts of from Iraq for that matter. You mention Pakistani agent and Katrina Kaif comes into the picture. You are talking about brotherhood across the world. How crucial was it to tie all the ends together?

I think as a story teller and a film maker, one needs to have clarity on why you are making a film! There’s a line in the film which sums up the plot which is “Aaj dunia ko ek hee cheez ki zarurat hai, aur woh hai insaaniyat”. Whenever there will be a fight between right and wrong, humanity will be at stake. Where are we taking this world to? That is the general broadline stroke of the film. We talk about emotions at a very human level. We are not talking about the political side of it. As soon as the things become political people start taking sides. What we are taking sides is that there is a story about these girls, they get kidnapped and as a human what would be my duty to get those people out of there or not. And obviously as a trained agent there is a respect to the country and duty is bigger than everything. Patriotism is important for the country. It’s a mix of a lot of emotions and at the same time the key story is about this rescue mission where these agents are going to go and get you out of there.

Salman Khan did Tubelight. It also spoke about humanity but the film didn’t do well at the Box Office. How crucial is it for Salman Khan after Tubelight to make a big comeback in terms of Box-Office?

Well obviously I have a lot of pressure on Tiger Zinda Hai. It’s a sequel of a very successful film. It has Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif in it. They are both very big stars plus I did Sultan with him which made a lot of money at the box-office. So there is a lot of pressure, but hit or flop is a part of our game. No one knows what’s going to work at the box office till the time it really comes out. As film makers we can only believe in stories which we want to see and there is a certain way of presenting those stories. I never went to film school, most of my schooling happened at the cinema where I went to theatres watching films in Dehradun. I always believed that every star that I saw in the theatre had certain strengths like Salman had certain strength, Aamir Khan had a certain strength, Mr. Bachchan had some strength and SRK’s strength is different. I like celebrating Salman as Salman and I am very honest about it. One of my favourite films while growing up was Karan Arjun; he was brilliant in that film. The way he has done Tere Naam, I was in college when it came out. Tiger, Wanted and even Dabangg for that matter. Sultan was an ode to his stardom. What I feel is that if you humanize Salman Khan, his impact is more at the box-office and even his reach. So even when his fans find out that he has a heart and even he gets hit, but when he rises it will be the biggest comeback. So we have to create stories around him where you find that the character resonates Salman Khan’s persona. There is no one who can carry a name like tiger better than Salman Khan. He is very charismatic. Like I always say if there is one guy who is Rocky and Rambo in the industry that’s Salman Khan. There is no other actor who can look like Rambo other than Salman Khan. He has his own charisma, style and swag. When he is little self-brooding you know, he speaks less but when he speaks it’s nice because he has lovely voice. There is different charisma of the way he speaks his line and that’s what people love about him. I like him like that and I always say that if I am doing a film with Salman Khan, I have to have moments like these. If I am not an audience of my own film, I don’t know how many people would be an audience of my film. My understanding of him as an actor is that you know I will write a scene and every morning I will go to his van and I will tell him to see and he will tell me 2 or 3 things and we will discuss and then we will find this ground where there is a great balance between the character and Salman Khan. He doesn’t work on the rhythm of what I write and I think that’s where both of us have now found the space where I know I have to respect the stardom that he holds and that this is character that his stardom has to fit into. That up till now is working like magic with him.

One other notable part of the film is the look. Colour tone is prominent and it’s a dessert colour look. Was that a conscious decision?

Ya the thing is that, when we make films that are set in certain set ups, for example a war country, we need to do enough research to portray how those countries look on camera. We were fortunate enough that we wanted to capture summer of Iraq. We shot most of our film in Morocco and a huge part in Abu Dhabi where we recreated the set. Luckily we were there in the peak of Summer. So half of the tone that you see on camera is the natural tone which was captured while shooting. So I did not have to do much in post to get that tone. Lot of times there is sweat on actors’ face that is real sweat because the temperatures were 50 degree Celsius. There are certain films which require budget for projection; Tiger Zinda Hai is amongst those films where budget has gone to make a film look a certain way. We have recreated a water on city in Abu Dabi. 3000 people were working day and night to create that set. It was the biggest set that we put outside India. There was no way we could go to Iraq. The research happened through people who I know who stay there. But majorly it was how we recreate it, how we set design it, how we costume design it and how we shoot it. Most of my crew was international and specially people who have worked in those terrains. My production designers, my costume designers everyone. My action designers are from LA. All started from the script, all read the script and the kind of the stand that the script took towards the end of the film all thought it is the kind of film they all want to be a part of. The energy just changes when you know that you are doing something worth telling.

Background score is playing an important part. It’s almost a character in the film. How many songs?

Obviously in an espionage drama theme is the most important thing and I think Ek Tha Tiger had a very strong background score. Julius and I are very close, he has done work in all my films and when we came to this one I thought we need to do a rendition of a theme. People are liking the background score because we did a very bizarre thing. We mixed the whole brass section which is like this old school James Bond style with a very electro riff. It’s an amalgamation of two schools which kind of sits on the bed of those backgrounds. It has this old school brass section which is playing the riff and it changes to new EDM distorted rough mix which kind of complements Iraq. It took a lot of time. Vishal Shekhar produced entire music for the song that’s going to come out in an album. I love the music. There are 5 songs which they have created. 2 of them are very beautiful songs and we hope that people will like them.

Finally something about Girish Karnad sahab. He wasn’t well but you still convinced him to be a part of the film.

Because he is the RAW chief and it’s a sequel. He is a brilliant actor and there are no two ways about it. But he is not keeping well, we wish him well. The kind of person he is, he is a fighter. He has a problem with his respiratory system and he needs a continuous flow of oxygen in his nose. When I approached him he told me I am not keeping well. I asked what has happened. He said I have to carry this oxygen pack with me even when I sleep so it has become difficult for me to travel. I said do you want to do it? He said I want to do it. I like acting. I don’t want to say no to you like that. I said we’ll make you as comfortable as possible. He said send me the script. So when he read the script he said I want to do it. I said are you sure? He told that I have taken a decision and I will make sure I’ll come and do it. He plays an important part and so it’s good to see him. An actor of that calibre and Salman Khan come from very different schools but they gel brilliantly on camera. Salman loves him and respects him a lot.

quotes from bollywood hungama

#salman khan #tiger zinda hai #tzh #tzh interview #text interview #Ali Abbas Zafar #tzh text interview #Ali Abbas Zafar's next #bollywood hungama

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nicotagebuch-blog · 5 years

Text

[Capital 8] Ode to love

Since my youth, I travel the seven seas.

Have experienced adventures of what some people only dream, have experienced storms where I thought I will die. I looked death in the eye.

Have countries already in a time where the Smartphone dependency did not exist. Get to know cultures. So many places. So many Countries.

Sometimes I was homesick for these days at sea, but today I have Fernweh(wanderlust) these days, every day.

The English word "Wanderlust" is a German word and actually the wrong translation. The real word for my Feeling is "Fernweh" unfortunately there is no correct translation for it.

Now I am here in Mexico. The engagement dissolved, the hope for love, family and children shattered like the dream of independence.

Tried me as an entrepreneur to give her a special life, free, travel to every place we want, 5 years. But it was not to be her dream was not my dream and my dream was her dream.

No happy ending.

The feeling on the high seas, unencumbered by water. No land has seen for weeks, no internet. Today, the Internet is considered a human right even at sea. Ridiculous development in this world.

youtube

How much I miss the days of being unreachable.

I grew up with the internet, at school they called me Freak, Nerd, because I had built my own hardware with the soldering board.

Remind me like today when I came to school with my Mp3 Player and the kids laughed at me for being too "modern" and today they are all zombies caught between smartphones and reality.

The Zeitgeist, to renounce it again with a German word that exists only in my language, is not mine. Faster, more, farther, filters, colorful paint, party every day, let's forget about the real thing. A life packed in Instagram and Snapchat filters, the reality far away.

Why do beautiful women pack behind filters! Not my world.

I tried to be a part of it. I fail.

I have "Sehnsucht" Okay, so funny story: when I searched for the English translation of 'Sehnsucht', the dictionary only returned around 500 different possibilities! Yep, this is definitely an untranslatable German word. The compound words of 'Sehn' and 'Addiction' are literally translated as something along the lines of 'seeing addiction'. Desire is basically indescribable yearning for far off places and indescribable goals. It can be used as longing, yearning, craving, pining, etc.

CS Lewis, the author of the Narnia books, had something interesting to say about this quirky German word; "The unbelievable thing is the sound of bonfire, the sound of wild ducks flying overhead, the title of The Well at the End of the World, the opening lines of" Kubla Khan ", the morning cobwebs in late summer, or the noise of falling waves. "Perhaps the best way to sum up this word is to describe it as future thinking nostalgia ...

Why?

I tried the be a part of this World, with Instagram, Tinder, Parties, etc... but I'm not, I'm too different to be a part of this world. May I'm Special even in a bad way.

Since my childhood, I was looking for love, I wrote over 200 Songs, 300 lyrics.

https://soundcloud.com/privat-geheim/vader-piano-freestyle-german-love-rap

Looking for love, but maybe it just needs love for myself?

I think it's fiction to think there's a person out there who's meant for you. I thought it too often, too quickly in love, too fast feeling but in the end nothing but blind promises and disappointments.

Maybe I am made for this pain, melancholy my worldview, maybe one day I'll write a book about the fictitious dream woman of my soul.

The one that makes me happy, gives me the energy to fulfill my dream. Independence of everything.

For a while, it was important to me what other people think about me meanwhile it does not matter, I give a shit about other peoples opinion. They live their dirty miserable life. I have a right to mine.

I shout and shove, I learn and learn. I love and my heart is broken. Vicious circle.

Where does this path lead me? No idea. I'm so close to failing again. But again, hey, I'm not even 31 years old. The whole life is still in front of me.

I have not even get warm. I'll make it, everything I ever wanted and more. Maybe you were out on me or I have to go this way alone, like the last 31 years. Life is learning. Every day.

insincere remembrance and love

Nicholas

#love #loveletter #pain #fernweh #zeitgeist #blog #sehnsucht #wanderlust #sea #seafarer

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alexfannthesciencemann · 7 years

Text

The Greatest Weapon.

~~So here it is, the story I wrote back in creative writing. The assignment was to write a Halloween story with at least one scene with a lot of description. And since it’s a long one, a read more so I don’t clog up everyone’s dashes ‘cause oh boy, I actually forgot how long this thing was. There was no length requirement but for some reason high school senior me decided “Imma make this thing 8 pages long (hand written)”.~~

Warning: dark theme, blood, death, violence, implied suicidal thought

Side note: Assuming the custom post code works, hover over the underlined sections to see the translation.

Jill looked back as she ran through the long, seemingly endless, hallway. There was no sign of it back there. Her legs were getting tired; she needed to stop, but if she did, it wouldn’t be long before it was in sight again.

As she ran, she noticed a small air vent. It could’ve been a complete waste of time, but Jill knew she couldn’t keep going. The choice was simply risk it and chance dying now, or keep going and certainly die later. The air vent was a win-win in Jill’s mind.

Finally, Jill had a streak of luck: The cover was loose and Jill’s frame was just small enough to fit.

It was cold, cramped, and dusty in there, but she was glad there was just enough room to move and turn, although slowly, herself around.

She pulled the vent cover back into place, thankfully in the nick of time. She heard it. It had such distinct foot steps. One leg would stomp down, while the other would simply drag along. “Erehw era uoy?”it screeched out in a deep, scratchy voice. Jill had no idea what it was saying, but it couldn’t have been good.

Then she saw its legs. They were an eerie shade of black; they looked as if they were made of static. “Yhw od uoy peek gninnur” it called out again.

‘How did I get into this mess?’ Jill thought to herself.

She began backing up through the vents, backing away from the creature before her. “I lliw dnif uoy!” It bellowed out, before continuing on its way.

Jill let out a sigh of relief. Now she was able to rest for a moment, and was safe, for now. The only downside was now she didn’t have a general idea of where it was, or how long she would be safe. The thought of dying in this mansion rushed through her mind. She had survived the horrors of war, survived more attacks than she wanted to remember. Was this where it was going to end? Trapped like a rat? Left to die alone in fear?

“No” Jill told herself, softly and demandingly. She was a fighter. She was survivor. A soldier. And she was going to get home.

Jill decided to use her cover to her advantage. A majority of rooms were bound to be connected by these vents. Or at least the ones in this wing of the mansion. So her best course of action was to see what was in all the connected rooms and go from there.

Carefully moving through the increasingly dusty vents, Jill suddenly fell through an old ceiling vent cover, leaving her dazed on the floor of a kitchen, one floor below the hallway she last saw it.

Her ears were ringing, and her nose and stomach revolted at the smell around her, a stench far worse than that of week old milk, left out in the hot, stale, open air. A stench that, if Jill could get up and discover on her own, filled the entire room.

Under normal circumstances, Jill, or any rational human being, would try to get out of the room. But the blow to her head that she took in the fall left her mind spinning. But that did not stop her mind from wandering back to the events before. About her friend, Chris, inviting her on a trip through the woods, like they had done so many times when they were younger. Go to the woods, pick a direction, and just keep walking until they reached road, then follow the road back to a town. An activity that could take hours, so it was left for days when they had no plans.

What made this trip different was the discovery of a trail. Then the discovery of the mansion. It seemed like it was just a creepy old house. But when Chris vanished, Jill was left in the house by herself. The isolation was bad enough, but when that thing appeared, it became a struggle for survival.

The ringing started to fade, the world started to become steady, and the stench became increasingly repulsive.

Jill studied the room around her. A large, old kitchen. No signs of the kitchen being used in a long time. It was clear the smell was coming from the uncleaned dished lying in what might have been a sink. There was maggots and cockroaches everywhere, especially near the dishes.

There was a flight of stairs, leading up to a door to the next floor. Jill was about to head to the door when it suddenly swung open.

There, in the door frame, was a dark, slim, tall figure of inhuman appearance. Details of it’s face and body were seemingly impossible to see, as it was such an eerie shade of black. If something was to be given this color, it’d be fear. It’s blackness seemed to almost have a static appearance. It was easy to see the eyes, but they were hard to describe. They were round and solid white. Seemingly devoid to life. They were looking nowhere, and everywhere.

“Ereht uoy era!” The creature bellowed out, as it awkwardly rushed down the stairs.

“Era uouy thgirla?” It screeched as it got off the last step.

“Dog ti sllems lufewa ni ereh.” was the next sentence to escape its mouth as it slowly limped towards Jill, meanwhile, she was backing away at the same pace.

“S’tahw gnorw Jill?” The creature bellowed. The only word she understood was her name.

“H-how do you know my name?” Jill asked, she needed to stall, she needed a plan.

“Jill, s’ti em, Chris.” It seemingly answered, once again, with her name, and Chris’s.

“How do you know my name?! And what about Chris?! What did you do to him?!” Jill demanded. She could run around the island in the middle of the kitchen, it isn’t too fast, so she could be just fine, but then back to square one, running through the mansion. Or she could end this. It might be useless, bit she was a fighter, and a survivor. And tired of running.

“Tahw era uoy gniklat tuoba?” The creature said, tilting its head.

This thing had gotten too close for comfort, but Jill had gotten close to a meat cleaver, and now was her chance. She clenched the cleaver tightly in one hand, and put her military training to use.

“Jill, tahw era uoy gniod?” the creature screamed out as Jill’s first swing barely missed.

“Pots ti Jill!” It screeched as it fell in a successful attempt to dodge.

Jill pounced at the monster with a downward swing. It put up its arms to hold her back as she came down on it.

“Esaelp! M’I gniggeb uoy!” Were its final words. Jill’s adrenaline in her system helped give her the greater strength, and brought the cleaver down into the creature’s face, right between its soulless eyes. Then, she pulled it right back out, and slammed it right back into place, time and time again.

Confident it had been stopped, she lifted the cleaver from the mess and shook off the loose, black goo that served as its blood, and wiped the blood from her face. The monster’s face, however, looked like a black, obliterated watermelon. She was safe, for now. And now, she had to get out.

The mansion door was on the other side of the house, but with all the running, Jill wasn’t sure exactly where she was in the house, thus, the hunt for the exit began.

The search took over half an hour, and all Jill found was the exit, but no sign of Chris. All she found that could point to his fate was broken floor boards in a second floor hallway, which could have been how the creature got him, or perhaps how the creature got its limp.

Jill pulled open the giant, mahogany, doors, stepping out into the woods, the cleaver still in her hand. She wasn’t sure if more creatures were going to appear, but she was ready if they did. And if not, then she had a souvenir.

It took her nearly an hour of running, but Jill finally made her way out of the woods; she was back in society.

Jill bent over, her hands resting on her knees as she tried to catch her breath.

Even without looking up, Jill could tell a crowd was gathering around her. She lifted up one arm and pointed back to the woods, back to the way she came, back to the mansion.

“M… my friend…” Jill got out between gasps of air. “Th…There’s a… a mansion… Back that way… With a… a… monster… or something.”

Jill finally looked up at the crowd. They were all one of them, one of those things. They were all those black monsters, but this time in varying shapes and sizes. Just, staring at her.

Jill started trembling. One of those things was enough, but a whole crowd of them? Her gaze shifted from side to side, taking in the whole crowd. None of them were moving close to her.

Her gaze lowered to the cleaver in her hand. She couldn’t run from this many, perhaps she should face plant the sharp edge.

“No!” Jill declared, standing up straight, clenching the cleaver tightly in her hand. “I’m a fighter!” Jill exclaimed, making her way towards the crowd. She came into this world kicking and screaming, covered in someone else’s blood. And that was how she planned on going out.

One of the creatures pushed its way through the crowd, and held up both arms, clasped together at the hands, pointing them at Jill.

“Pots thgir Ereht!” The new creature screamed.

Jill began to speed up into a sprint, raising the cleaver slightly in anticipation for her attack.

“Ma’am! Siht si ruoy lanif gninraw! Pord eht nopaew, won!” It screeched out again.

Before Jill could even attempt to land her first blow, there was a sudden flash and a loud noise that escaped from the creature’s arms.

Events flashed before Jill’s eyes like a season finale recap. Then as she felt a quick, but short, sudden, sharp pain in her chest, just as the recap ended, and her world went black.

A black even darker than the creatures. And unlike the creatures, it did not seem like static. This black, was still. This black, enveloped all. If something was to be given this black. It’d be death.

#my story #The Greatest Weapon #horror

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kenzical-blog · 5 years

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An Ode to Transport

If you don’t already know me, you wouldn’t know that I was born with a pre-existing condition. I’m not sure when my family realized it. It may have been, when practicing driving before age 16, I drove straight by my grandmother’s house in Stamford, Texas—a place I had practically grown up in and been hundreds of times before. The evening was dark and my parents and I had just left a different grandmother’s house. I was driving the red Chevy Blazer that would later be bequeathed to me on my 16th birthday, and my mom was in the front seat and my dad in the back. I reviewed my responsibilities behind the wheel continually: hands at 10 and 2, gaze far down the road, speed limit kept to a reasonable crawl, car kept between that line and that line, and obviously attention focused on looking for my Memaw’s driveway. I knew where it was, and having not seen it yet, I continued down the dark country road, thinking to myself, it sure seems a lot farther when you’re driving instead of riding.

That’s when the silence in the car took on a different flavor. It was like I could sense the energy of my parents’ stifled laughter. “Uhh, Kenzie?” My mom began, “Where are we going?”

It would not be the last time a phrase such as this was uttered. The stories my family can’t seem to forget frequently involve my terrible sense of direction, the condition I have been afflicted with since birth.

Needless to say, moving to one of the largest cities in Europe probably gave a few family members a good kick. I, however, didn’t see what there was to worry about. The public transportation system in Spain is one of the best. Things run on time and there are options, some I didn’t even know about prior to coming. There is an intricate, thorough and punctual bus system, another rail system outside of the metro called Cercanias that more or less makes a big circle around the outside of the city, taxis, Uber, a company similar to Uber called Cabify, and of course the metro (aka in America—the subway). I would say picking the right mode of transportation is similar to picking a boyfriend. Well, if you have a group of men already open to your advances and accepting of the money you give them…but you get where I’m going. Looking at this metaphor too literally could take a turn. So, we’ll keep it simple. Like picking a life partner, when picking your mode of transport in Madrid, you need to assess: What meets your particular and unique set of needs? If it may help, I’ll share the sordid details of my public-transportation-dating life so far.

Not to spoil the dramatic reveal, but the frontrunner of my motor dates is one I see every day. I wake up and am all over that mode of transportation for the entirety of English teacher business hours (that’s the whole day). I have spent half of my waking hours on it. It is simple, effective, and allows for thousands to commute to areas all over this large city daily, down to the minute. It’s affordable and relatively clean…to the naked eye at least. I never have to wait long for it, and it will criss-cross and cut the butter of Madrid’s city center like a seasoned baker slicing her apple pie. Effortless. Experienced. Maybe it’s because my mother was never much of a pie maker, and they say you often want what you never had, but boy have I never had anything like this first suitor—the metro. The glorious, glorious metro. There isn’t a system like it where I’m from, and because of this new experience, I was quite enamored my first couple of months here, but like so many, I couldn’t commit just yet.

The first week following the TEFL course, my life was like a version of the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, only swap busses for planes. It was engine speed dating. In the mornings, I would take the metro with two connections to bus 518 out of station Principe Pio for my first teaching job. I know, I know. I woke up with metro but had coffee with the bus. Side note: I literally had coffee on the bus that week. After waking up late and grabbing a coffee at the station, I placed the cup in my backpack’s side pocket. A few forgetful and hungover ridden minutes later, I went to tie my shoe ostrich-style. Gravity took that coffee from its cup to my white shirtsleeve instantly. What can I say—courtin’ two at a time is messy and it ain’t easy. I know…jezebel.

Another afternoon early on, I also fumbled through a Cercanias ride that was later deemed unnecessary. While the Cercanias is a lot faster and cleaner than the metro, you also have to pay a small amount extra to ride, and at first, its routes and destinations can be quite difficult to decipher. So while that piece of my day was full of rides, there was certainly no afternoon delight for me! Nevertheless, we’ll call that first experience first date jitters as the Cercanias has come through in recent weeks, so I won’t completely knock it. It just scared me after the first encounter, so I avoided it for quite a while after. I’ve never been too inclined to the clean-cut and dependable types. Where’s the style there?

Then there was the day I really slummed it. I woke up late for my Empadronamiento appointment, and I needed a convenient lift that would save time and get the job done. Fourplay be damned! That morning, I had a dalliance with a cab. It was the means to my end, as I mentioned, but it also cost me much more than another mode of transport would have. Regret and shame flashed across my psyche. That’s dating for you, you know? And as you must when dating actual people, I had to reflect on each experience those first few working weeks independently and comparatively.

Which one made me feel the best? Through each transportation avenue, I never felt like such a cosmopolitan woman, like Mary Tyler Moore in her opening credits, as I did when riding the metro. Walking down those steps into the tunnelled city below, every other commuter had a motive behind their step—they had to get somewhere important—business people, old folks, tourists, kids going to school. Not a lot of things can fit so many people’s needs. It’s the renaissance mode of transport options! Not only that, it is heaven if you enjoy people watching, as I do. It’s smooth, runs on time, and connects you to basically everywhere. Working Week One: The metro was winning me over. Insert heart-eyes emoji here.

Working Week Three: My rose colored glasses, complementary of the Novelty Office for New People to the Big City, shattered and clattered to their demise in the metro tracks’ guiding turret. The honeymoon was over. Alas, I’m getting ahead of myself. Before that, it was the bus that did me dirty and smudged up my pink shades.

With my pre-existing condition, if I didn’t know exactly which bus to take pre-trip (thank you Employer #1), I was less than confident in my abilities to determine my path forward. For me, it was quite difficult to determine which bus would take me where, so I leaned on the crutch that is the only reason I was born to be an adult in the 21st century: Google Maps. Sadly, when Google maps intersected with the small signs at the bus stops in the neighborhood of Villaviciosa listing destinations and times, t’was a recipe for sitting at a bus stop for an hour in the sun without going where I needed across from another bus stop that sat innocently empty while multiple busses came more frequently to it without anyone boarding and a gut feeling in my belly that that bus was heading straight to where I needed to be. So, I left the throng of folks who knew exactly which bus to be on and took the crosswalk less traveled by hoping it would make all the difference. Then that potential bus I so bravely sought out never returned and after walking to a completely new stop and loading onto the first one with ‘Madrid’ on its scrolling marquee, I ended up at the front of a sardine can on wheels that secretly wanted to be a tilt-a-whirl. When this bus pulled up, it was completely full of people. Thinking the driver wouldn’t allow me on, I hesitated, but the conniving woman behind the wheel smiled a smile I naively took as kind and beckoned me to board. Immediately I found myself in the front standing on the stairs out of reach of a proper bar to hold as Miss Driver drove like she was the source of conflict in Sandra Bullock’s Speed. I remember actually laughing out loud at the comedy of it all and the futility of trying to stay balanced, but I also realised as the smell of body odor emanated from the guy standing in front of me, I would be dumping the bus. Next!

I returned my focus to the convenient metro—my transportation mode…until I found Cabify peacocking my way from Greener Grass Avenue. Think of Cabify as a dressed up Uber. It’s always a black car—fancy. The driver is always in a jacket or tie—fancier, and they offer water and a smell-free experience. After arriving at your destination, feeling like the fanciest, you may then have time to look down at your phone and realize one trip costs as much as 20 entrances to the metro. I knew right away: this mode was simply out of my league.

The metro never knew I had used another mode, but like any man that starts to get comfortable and stops doing those lovely things that won you over in the first place, small annoyances became more frequent and there was less charm to make up for what I once dismissed as minor, and I found myself pressed against the side of the packed metro car. Due to my lack of height, my nose was inconveniently and unavoidably stuck in the vicinity of some man’s undeotarized armpit (body odor is frequent here) as his hand held the overhead bar and I fought for balance again with my backpack between my feet fifteen stops away from my connecting stop.

To extend my metaphor even further, the metro stopped showering as frequently and became a petri dish for every germ that is coughed by a person without covering their mouth, every bit of booger residue that is left on someone’s finger after picking their nose then using a hand rail, every sneeze that is directed at the unlucky recipients sitting in its trajectory. I am convinced I became sick and remained that way for 2 months because of the metro. The germs have nowhere to go. They sit and fester waiting to latch on to an organism so they can reorganzie become the worst cold you’ve ever had.

A dread of disgust started building every time I entered the metro car. Put yourself in the moment: nose completely stuffed up, you navigate from the freezing outside to hot metro car with other sick people so far inside your bubble you almost can smell what they ate for lunch, all you can do is close your eyes and wait for space. Then a seat opens up. JOY! You weave to sit, at least it will be a bit more space, AND. IT’S. WARM. Don’t gag, you tell yourself. At least it isn’t a warm toilet seat, but there is just something about sitting in the aftermath of some stranger’s (probably also ill) full, spread out fanny that hasn’t moved for 30 minutes. Uncomfortable yet? Well it gets worse, because as you’re sitting there, in someone else’s bottom burn, you hear the smooching. People in Madrid kiss so loudly. I have never heard so many audible pecks in my life. Friends kiss loudly, families, couples. It doesn’t matter. You hear the cartoon kiss sound and you must look to figure out the details of the relationship: friends kiss multiple times on the cheek, family may peck on the lips or cheeks, and couples—on the lips 10x in a row and may even add a bite at the end in this germ-mecca only inches from you. For all its faults, the metro is not afraid of intimacy.

Metro not only stopped caring about its own health and hygiene, it began to not give any hoots about my safety, too. There was the time I experienced my first truly scary moment in Madrid. It was on my way home from my Friday night class and it involved nobody else except myself and the metro. I can still see it: my hands and backpack outside the doors of the metro and my body inside. I had waited too long to figure out to get off or not. As the doors began to close and the resounding departure beep started, I thrust my bag and forearms through the vanishing opening with the thought that it would be like elevator doors and open upon sensing human parts. The doors weren’t retracting, however. SHIT. Then the beep became even louder. I saw my life with the use of thumbs and fingers plus a really nice backpack flash before my eyes. FUCK! Fight kicked in then and I wrenched those doors clean open with the blaring beep piercing my brain like a warning of my own flat line.

Drama aside, that same week my pride also suffered a blow as I was running late on my way to work. I figured if I hipped it through the station to my connecting metro at Tribunal station, I would make up for the few minutes I was behind. A few minutes determines nearly everything. I’m in athletic clothes that day since it is a Tuesday and one of my long days, a fashion faux-pa here, but I cared not. I ran through the people, darting here and there, with flashbacks back to my cross-country days. But why stop there? I thought, I could go even faster if I take the stairs two at a time! The pathway was clear. Two steps, four. Two more to go and the most dreaded thing occurred. The tights I was wearing underneath my sweatpants constricted my movements and I didn’t extend my leg the centimeter more that I should have. My toe caught the step. Gravity grinned then and toyed with me like a cat with a mouse. The fall began but I fought it, and while taking steps my head lowered underneath gravity’s heavy foot. I slow-fell in the metro during rush hour in front of everyone and landed at the feet of some middle-aged man. Trying to ignore the gasps I heard all around, I laughed because it had to be damn funny to see and say ‘shit’ aloud on the metro for the second time that week, highlighting my foreignness even more. All I saw of the man was his shoes. I couldn’t bear to look at him, but that didn’t stop him front picking me up hands under armpits like one does a child. I uttered a rushed ‘gracias' and continued my race against time as my hip complained at my clumsiness.

I’m venting, clearly. With all of the discomfort, the transportation here will get you where you need to go. At the moment, the metro is my mode—my main squeeze. It’s the only transport option that can fulfil what I need in this city, and like any relationship, it takes two. I’ve found if I make sure to leave early, the metro cars aren’t as crowded in the mornings nor at night. I know when to avoid it if it’s had a long day. The last trip of the night is NOT for me, and sometimes if I ensure I make an effort to be early, remember tissues, bring something to distract me, it can be quite nice. In the afternoons I have fallen asleep on the metro so many times, it’s now not an accident. It’s a planned nap between day job and night job. I take my backpack and place it in my lap if I am lucky enough to find a seat. I lay my chin in the centre of top and hug it like a pillow. I both listen to the announcer (if there is one) and enter into REM. Seriously. I dream and everything. At those times, I’m reminded of it’s good qualities rather than its flaws. It’s quiet. Everyone is minding their business, reading actual books mind you—or watching videos on their phones.

I can count on it, too. I haven’t been de-railed from a destination yet. It’s affordable—right in my league, and it’s convenient—always there. It’s also is a lovely glimpse at humanity—germy as we can be, every day I see someone jump up from their seat to allow an elderly or disabled person to sit down. It’s also a wonderful way to listen to Spanish and continue that learning journey. It’s not all bad, my metro. So, let me know when you want to make its acquaintance. I’ll make sure to warm you a seat.

If you are coming to Madrid for a spell, I’ve included the link below with information about metro and personal transportation cards. It’s super user friendly, and if you’re below 26 you get a major discount.

https://www.metromadrid.es/es/viaja-en-metro/tipos-de-tarjeta#panel0

#metro #Madrid #Warm #Jezebel #relationships

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