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brucenorris007 · 1 year

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“Game Sonic doesn’t have it in him to kill Eggman.” -Someone on IG comparing Movie Sonic to Game Sonic per something written in StH 2′s script. Have... have you played or even seen the Sonic games? Especially those prior to Forces and Frontiers?

Okay, maybe that’s somewhat unwarranted. Still.

He doesn’t prioritize killing Eggman the way Shadow occasionally or Omega (always) do, but he’s not exactly opposed to seeing, ah, spilled yolk on any sort of principle, either. Eggman just doesn’t occupy anymore space in Sonic’s mind than he warrants at any given moment; the doctor might be obsessed with crushing this teenager who keeps humiliating him, but the reverse?

Sonic at one point says, when asked in Sonic X where Eggman is on a day he’s not actively destroying things or hurting people:

“I don’t care.”

Newer iterations of the blue blur confuse it a bit–starting around Lost World, I believe–but let’s go down the Games timeline; explore the evolution of Sonic’s general attitude toward killing and by extension, cracking the egg.

Classic Sonic is a younger, less powerful and perhaps more unhinged hedgehog. Like I said in another post, Sonic’s first priority is doing what’s Cool; stomping Eggman’s machines and rescuing his animal friends have fit his personal definition of cool from day one.

Every time Sonic and Eggman clash, Sonic stops attacking once Eggman does; that is, once his contraption of the week gets thrashed. Eggman’s smart enough to flee by that point, and while Sonic would keep fighting if the doctor attacked him again, striking an enemy in the back while they’re running away doesn’t fit his definition of Cool.

Sonic doesn’t go out of his way to kill an enemy who isn’t actively trying to kill him, but neither does he go out of his way to save Eggman from falls that could easily end his life. (Refer to: The conclusion of most fights between Robotnik and Super Sonic pre-Dreamcast era)

A trend that carries through at least Sonic Unleashed; if Sonic had a truly immovable stance against killing Eggman, he wouldn’t just stand by and watch his contraptions fall to pieces around him until the doctor spirals in just a pod or console seat at terminal velocity per Sonic 06. I wouldn’t be surprised if Eggman keeps Heal Units on hand for personal use when cartoon physics aren’t enough to prevent grievous injury.

I predict this is going to get longer than I expected; have a cut.

And Eggman knows this. After so many years as arch-enemies, how could he not recognize the pattern? Factor it into his schemes and calculations, his fail safes, however much he loathes the idea of losing again?

There are two Mobians in the franchise who consistently hold back and put a check on themselves out of consideration for others. Two Mobians who, should either snap, are capable several times over of wreaking untold havoc across the planet and ending the doctor’s career in evil permanently.

Knuckles, and Sonic.

This echidna is strong enough to trigger a fault line that can sever an entire zone off of Angel Island with a single blow; who, coupled with his familiarity with chaos energy and channeling the merest fraction of the M.E., can sucker punch someone out of their Super state. Destined Child’s self-control of his strength is a more significant act of kindness than just about anything else he could do.

And Sonic’s maximum speed, in his normal state, cannot be accurately measured even by Eggman’s machines. Oh, he can work out medians and means for the hedgehog’s typical velocity, enough that his robots can put up a decent fight and track/predict the blue blur’s movements.

But Sonic pulls stunts that should not be possible even in the fantastic world of Mobius on the daily; he’s fast enough that he can and has joked about light speed being casual for him, and at one point in his career he outran a black hole for upwards of half a minute. Again, without the aid of his Super state.

Sonic’s reasons for holding back coincide with Knuckles’ somewhat, but they don’t match one to one. A) He holds back for others’ sake and safety: pulling a friend along when he pours on a speed boost, pacing himself when he’s carrying someone (often, though not limited to, princesses...) and, one can infer, limiting himself to just fast enough to break the sound barrier most of the time so he doesn’t constantly destroy/reshape the terrain he’s running on. Sonic’s a rebel, and he enjoys breaking stuff, but only when he’s making a point through the stuff he’s breaking. Aimless destruction isn’t quite his wheelhouse.

And B) he holds back for the sake of having more fun. There are a lot of reasons Sonic’s persisted as a character for three decades now, and one of them, setting him apart from a lot of other ‘cool’ stoic characters I could name, is that Having Fun falls under his definition of Cool.

This is the only way Sonic’s approach to things in the Riders games, his rivalry with Jet in particular, makes any kind of sense; he chooses to race using Extreme Gear because the sport, the banter, the push toward the finish line alongside his best friends are fun, he enjoys all those things. If beating Jet or proving that he’s faster was truly the highest priority for him, he’d ditch the board and just break a half dozen laws of physics on foot like he always does.

Like I mentioned, Eggman’s aware of that; of the fact that Destined Child and Some Guy are, 99% of the time, exercising self-restraint. And factors it into his schemes. He doesn’t quite fear Knuckles snapping as much, since there are years of evidence proving that taking advantage of the echidna’s naivete isn’t enough to make him lose it, and because he understands that Knuckles sees himself as a Guardian on and off of Angel Island. Born to protect; only harming in service to that role, and certainly not to kill.

Compared to Knuckles, Sonic’s conditions for losing it, for going berserk are much more apparent; namely excessive, grievous harm to his friends. In particular, his best friend Tails.

There’s a reason why Eggman ejected Sonic from the ARK in a time bomb space pod in SA2 before facing off with the fox, and it wasn’t simply because he was outnumbered. He was holding Amy hostage with Tails in the room well before Sonic arrived. He could have demanded Tails exit the Cyclone and killed the fox. He didn’t need two hostages.

But he knew better than to think he could predict how Sonic would react to seeing his sidekick (in Eggman’s mind) motionless on the floor of the ARK. Worse case scenario, four bodies end up careening in free fall towards the Earth’s atmosphere.

Eggman knows Sonic has it in him to kill; are other Mobians more likely to try killing him? Yes, but the possibility still figures into Eggman’s plans and is one of the reasons the blue hedgehog occupies most of the doctor’s attention, second to his obsession with returning all the humiliation Sonic’s visited on him over the years.

All that being said, there is a moment in Sonic’s career that marks the beginning of a shift in his attitude toward killing.

Emerl.

Gemerl’s predecessor and the focal point/main character of Sonic Battle, for the uninformed.

Sonic found this battered robot, abandoned by Eggman in a fit of impatience and frustration; this machine designed to be the ultimate combat weapon, capable of observing and evolving based on those it interacts with like a whole-ass person would. In the penultimate chapter of the game, Emerl acquires the seventh chaos emerald and achieves a perilous state where the right words might make or break the world, and Shadow picks the right ones that allow Emerl to function autonomously without posing a danger to the planet.

Obviously, in the ultimate chapter, Eggman has to come and fuck that up.

With Emerl out of control and beyond the reach of words or reason and only minutes between him and the planet’s destruction, Sonic has no choice but to destroy–to kill–this robot he practically raised like a child of his own to save the world.

Sonic doesn’t hesitate in doing so, though it’s clear he doesn’t want to. And of course, it affects him.

It’s that moment that begins to change his attitude from “I don’t kill in cold blood/don’t kill anyone with their back to me or running away” to “I don’t kill if I can help it.”

Make no mistake, though: Sonic wouldn’t shed a single tear for Eggman’s funeral. At most, he’d consider life marginally more boring without an arch nemesis and then get over it.

Sonic is capable of cracking the egg; he prefers avoiding it, but under the right circumstances, avoiding it falls way down his list of priorities.

To this day in the games, Eggman doesn’t go after the hedgehog’s friends in earnest until he believes the blue blur has been dealt with first.

That is very, very intentional on his part.

@generic-sonic-fan

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12pt-times-new-roman · 5 months

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c3e78

(this was 4+ hours of heavy RP so have a read-more)

oh boy! time to find out who's gonna get angriest at Ashton!

Alright, Imogen's coming out first with a pretty standard "there were so many warnings!" but nothing too bad.

But Fearne, after kicking Ashton to unconsciousness, takes the hammer, strikes him with it, and slams it over and over again into the top off the ziggurat, screaming, trying to break it. She takes the harness and storms off. Chetney follows.

Laudna goes immediately to feeling betrayed. Everything is telling her that Ashton and Fearne should die, but she knows that's not a rational thought. Delilah wants the crystal -- with a moment of hesitation, Laudna turns and walks away seething.

Imogen uses detect thoughts on Ashton. "I think I've seen a pattern in my life. It's the realization of hubris and temptation and blame, an epiphany of violent levels of projecting responsibility. A very wide thought of not being responsible for what happened, and suddenly going through that, one by one." It's the realization that, within one week of knowing what happened to the Hishari, Ashton did exactly the same thing.

As they sit up, and the shard of Ka'mort is waking up now, too. It feels like the rock around them is breathing and another pain burns in their chest, they seize, shudder -- they cough, a horrible sound, and from within them, the shard of Raushan falls to the ground. Though Ka'mort's shard is on its way to awakening, the shard of Raushan was rejected, and with it a heavy cost. Their CON is permanently reduced by 2.

Ashton was stupid, but they weren't power-hungry. But in that moment of being dead, Ashton saw themself as who they would've been if nothing went wrong that day at the Hishari village, they met their parents and themself-- and they were vicious and cruel. Ashton wanted the crystal because they thought it would fix them, thought it would somehow give them their family back, but in that vision, they saw that it wouldn't and never would have, and that even if it could they wouldn't want it.

They wanted to feel robbed, and they wanted someone to blame other than themself, and they thought that this would make them whole and unbreakable because their cracks were evidence of weakness. Now, they realize they need to focus on understanding what they are instead of trying to become what they maybe were supposed to have been.

"How could you hurt Fearne?" "The same way anybody hurts anybody: a moment of weakness."

Chetney catches up to Fearne. She says she's going to destroy the harness, and Chet doesn't roll high enough insight to see any different.

She's beating herself up because she said Ashton could take it, but she never wanted it -- Ashton didn't coerce her or anything, she was genuinely afraid of it and wanted someone else to take it. Fearne was afraid that she'd turn into a terrible version of herself because she saw what she became if she took the Circlet of Barbed Vision. She feels her sadness and guilt as fury.

I love that Chetney is doing far better at diffusing this extremely emotional moment than anyone else could've, and he gets the harness away from her.

Chetney points out that Fearne fucked up, she heard the warnings and was naive, and she didn't trust the Hells enough to air her fear in front of them. But she has a crush on Ashton, she wanted them to like her back, and she was afraid of the shard anyway so why not let them have it? "Ashton is wild. And if there's any part of either of you that wants out, you can talk to me. That can mean a variety of things, and I'd be lying if I hadn't thought about it before, but don't fuck around, 'cause Ashton almost found out." Chetney dad friend confirmed--

They leave to go find Fearne something to break.

Laudna was following them, listening in. She uses form of dread and runs through the tunnels -- she knows them, she lived here a while before she had to leave, and she goes to places where no one could find her.

Ashton steps up to Allura. "I fucked up 'cause I'm an idiot! I fucked up bad." "Ah. Standard fare for adventurers at the crux of our plans, I suppose."

Imogen gives the bag of holding to FCG and heads into the tunnels, while FCG, Ashton, and Orym head to the surface to get some air.

Ashton apologizes for making fun of FCG's new faith, but FCG asks if they really care. "I care about all of you, so much -- I care about everything I can see, I just don't care about me, and I think that might be a problem." HEY! character growth! and acknowledgement that they projected super hard onto FCG!

After breaking some windows, Fearne goes for a walk, and promises Chetney she won't leave. She goes to the temple of the Matron of Ravens and offers a prayer.

"Hello, I guess. I don't really know what I'm doing in here, but... I made a bad decision, and I'm kind of scared about what I could turn into. So I guess I'm maybe asking you for some guidance. I don't really know how to do this, but I kinda like your vibe that you were normal and then weren't because you wanted more out of life, which I totally get. Anyway, I don't know, but--" She takes her postcards and leaves them as an offering, then leaves. When she leaves, she sees a little adolescent raven with one leg, its parents come and drops berries for it to eat, then all 3 make eye contact with Fearne before they fly away.

Laudna knows of a secret passage that leads into the woods, and she's gone. She's losing herself to Delilah, to what she once was, and is trying to remind herself of how far she's come since then.

Ashton talks to Percy. "We all make terrible mistakes, especially those of us who want to make a difference. The first key is to make sure nobody sees them; should that fail, you do everything you can to make up for it... punish yourself as much as you need to. Trust me, it's good for the soul. Some of us never stop. But don't drag them down with you -- only you are allowed to push your bruise."

Imogen goes looking for Laudna and finds nothing.

They go to dinner, bar Fearne and Laudna. I love that Allura is so resigned to the fact that all adventuring parties are weird as fuck all the time regardless of the time or place.

FINALLY Chetney casts grim psychometry on the shard of Raushan! "You see lands of rolling flame, a valley that is an inferno, the ground cracks as magma spews forth, a majestic kingdom of fire in an ancient time when the elements ruled Exandria. You see creation abound -- beings, life, pre-pantheon. Spirits walk in this land, though not the shapes that you know, elemental-like. Society and life before. Then flashes of conflict, feelings of benevolent frustration, emotional bursts of anger. Fiery conflict with beings of light and shadow, and then a cold place beneath, where you are alone. Half-asleep, half-awake, frozen, tethered in a lightless space -- until the chains break, and the blue sky guides you up, surrounded by arcane light, you are free once more and you reach out to grasp the hand of another like you from beneath the twin mountain, and then nothing." (For clarification, the twin mountains were one from above and one from below -- Cathmoira and Avalir.)

Oh, FCG gets actual answers from Matt when they flip a coin now! I wonder if this has something to do with their mystery 8th level cleric feature.

Chetney calls Ashton out. "You should leave. You should go. I mean it, don't come back either. If you're gonna do things for yourself, then do them, but don't risk us. I understand what it's like to look out for yourself, to try new things, but if I thought I couldn't control this, I would've fucking left. I don't trust you. You could've hurt Fearne." "I don't know if I'm going or staying yet. I think, honestly, that's not up to me. I'm thinking about it, and I don't trust me either. So I'm trying something. Actually, I've got a question: what did you do before you could control this? I've seen you lose your shit once, but what did you do?" "I killed things. I hurt people. A lot." "I'm glad you stopped. And I'm processing a lot right now, but if I do stay -- if you let me stay -- the day something happens and it goes bad for you, and you hurt a lot of people for any reason, stay or go I promise that I will stick around and help clean it up, and you'll get no shit from me. None. But for now I'll go."

(this is rich coming from Chetney, tbh, but it tracks with how much he cares for Fearne. however. Ashton is one of the only people in the party who hasn't been forced to make a saving throw to see whether or not he loses control and attacks the party. I get the sentiment, and Chetney needed to let off steam in his own way, but his point is definitely hypocritical.)

the absolute emotional whiplash going from that convo to Laudna asking Delilah for relationship advice and then resolving to "make Ashton a doll" in her old cabin--

break time!

We open on Fearne. She goes into the woods and uses plant growth to make a little hut and sleeps there for the night.

Laudna returns to her cabin and finds it partially collapsed. She uses charred wood with a curse word on it as the base for her doll of Ashton. Once it's done, Delilah says she can give it to them, keep it to remember them by -- or trade it for the shard. "Laudna... I need, and the power that helps me grow and thrive, it helps both of us." "No--" "Fearne didn't want it, Ashton couldn't have it. You have hurt so much. Why not stand up for yourself and take what is rightfully yours?" "Ashton hurt Fearne, they hurt us, why would I do the same? If Ashton can't learn from this lesson, shouldn't I?" "There are two kinds of people in this world: those who get hurt and accept it, and those who get hurt and retaliate. Who are you? Who are we? Matilda is dead. You are something more."

(Listen, if Laudna listens to Delilah and takes the shard without asking anyone but Imogen, she better get the same fucking level of backlash that Ashton did.)

In the morning, Imogen is panicked about Laudna, and tells FCG that they woke Delilah up. So at the very least, someone else is gonna be suspicious if Laudna suddenly wants the shard.

When Chet and Ashton wake up -- "you're still here! That's a good start." And Chetney.... immediately attacks them? just to see what their new arm does? OKAY???

but hey. Ashton rage build update: their damage bonus is +12 somehow? their new arm doesn't do anything yet, but when they hit with it, they do feel like there's a little box in their heart that hasn't been opened yet.

Everyone gathers up, and Fearne joins them at the gates of the castle. She's explicitly ignoring Ashton. With FCG's locate creature, they find Laudna pacing just inside the edge of the forest, trying and failing to will herself to enter the city.

When she sees Ashton, she turns and runs, because if she gets too close to Ashton she'll kill him? Chetney tackles her pretty easily, and even though Ashton could gain ground, they keep pace with the back of the group, but Imogen sends them away. for. A Reason, I guess?

"I gave Ashton some shit last night, I told him he should leave, permanently -- but he was there this morning, first down at the table. And that means something, 'cause he could've cut and run, been a coward and left, but he stayed." as suspected, Chetney saying what he did to Ashton was partially airing his grievances, yes, but it was also partially a test for Ashton.

Honestly, I'm really glad that the group is acknowledging that Fearne should've spoken up too. Obviously Ashton was the primary instigator, but Fearne still didn't say anything to them and didn't protest Ashton taking it.

Fearne suggests going to Nana Mori's for a while (which Matt strongly hinted at, btw) so they can work out all their shit, since she can manipulate the time difference. They agree to take an emotional retreat to the Feywild, and figure that Allura can either send them there or send them to Keyleth who can.

Ashton, meanwhile, puts their hand to the ground and feels warmth. "You absolute fuck-up. Maybe I deserve this -- no one deserves anything. What the fuck do I know? Maybe they do."

Laudna asks for the shard, and Imogen refuses to tell her where it is.

"Here, I made you this. It's a doll, for children, because you're a child. But I like children." "I hate children. They're awful." "They can be. Do you remember what it's like to be one?" "I do. It wasn't great." "You should find joy in your inner child." "This is the greatest thing anyone's ever made for me." Ashton is on the verge of tears here yall--

I fucking told y'all that Ashton's journey of learning to care for themselves wasn't going to be gradual like Caleb's was, it would be like the snap of tectonic plates when they cause an earthquake.

"I'm so sorry. I'm going to try so hard not to be that person, because I hate that person... If I am allowed to stay, and I understand if I am not, I will never, ever forget that this is the first group of people who didn't make me leave, and I will work so hard to make sure you don't. No matter what happens, I won't leave if I'm allowed to stay. No matter what we do, the mistakes we make, I will stay, I will be there, and I will not away. I don't know what love is, but I'm going with this."

Laudna is still angry, she still doesn't trust them, but the foundations for rebuilding that trust are there. And that's the opinion of most of the group!

Allura can send them to the Feywild, but -- "Your nana is the Fate-Stitcher, Morrighan? You are tremendously strange..." If Allura is going to send them there, then she also has to accompany them so she can send them back out, since they can't communicate!

Imogen asks Allura in her head who Morrighan is. "Your friend's nana is a notorious figure in the Fey Realm, but if they are indeed an ally, strange bedfellows I suppose?"

Ashton tries to pull Fearne away in the most conspicuous way possible -- "I'm looking for a book on apologies. I'm gonna start with 'I'm sorry.' If I had any idea... I don't know what I would've done, but I'm sorry. You were just being a good friend, and it felt right, but it wasn't, and you were being a good friend." // "I was being a dumb friend." // "No, I was being a dumb friend. This is on me. I didn't think, I... I fucked up really bad, and you had to be there, and I am so sorry. There is no way I'm ever going to forget the feeling of... the shard hurt, but knowing you were there was worse, and I'm not looking for forgiveness, I don't need an apology, I just need you to know that goodness doesn't necessarily lead to the right place. Sometimes we are good, and it works out poorly, and you were good -- it shouldn't have been like that, and it had to be, I guess. But I'm going to try so hard to never do that again. And i understand if you want me to go, or if you never want me to make eye contact again I can do that, but you're the only person I even vaguely understand in this group. I think I like them, or even love them, and I just want them to be safe from everything--" // "I didn't like that at all. That was awful to watch." "It was. And awful to feel too." // "You did the same thing that your dad did." // "Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about that. He's not my dad, he's nothing to me -- I don't even think I hate them, they are just a cautionary tale I did not listen to." // "That fucked me up a little bit. I think I'm still a little mad, and I don't think I can talk about it right now 'cause I don't really like you right now." // "That's okay." // "And I have a feeling that you feel the same way about yourself." // "I've never liked myself that much. If anything, this is the most I've liked myself in ages, and that's a bad sign." // "We'll talk about it sometime. But I'm glad you're still alive." // "I'll wait."

Allura comes back wearing battle-ready gear and adventuring clothes, and planeshifts them to the Fey Realm. (Ashton ties the doll near the collar of their jacket.)

With a quick incantation, they arrive at the base of the familiar tree that forms Ligament Manor. Bounding from the door is one of Fearne's animal friends -- Peepers, a jackrabbit with fingers for teeth and eyes on his ears. Within, Nana Mori is having a conversation with (and being tended to by) Birdie, Fearne's mom! (Ollie is upstairs tending to the garden.) She appears to have sustained some wounds, but nothing too serious. Birdie and both Mori's mouths greet them, much to Allura's horror.

"I am Allura Vysorin of the Tal'dorei Council, and I have multiple powerful friends who know where I am and who will come looking for me if I vanish." Damn, I almost completely forgot that it was the Arcana Pansophical who led the charge in identifying archfey, so of course Mori would know who she is!

Mori: is this a RETREAT?! how FUN! Allura, immediately: *mage armor*

At FCG's mention of time dilation, she slows time around her, and says they can take as long as they need. But Fearne asks about Ruidus, and Mori tells her what she knows:

"As [Ruidus] is held there, the very magic of Exandria is strained... the longer this tether holds to the moon, the more it tangles and stresses the flow of magic within and between the realms. So it's no surprise of mine that my lovely Fearne would be the one to set things right. The odd, if often fun, thing about being able to touch Fate itself is rarely knowing the outcome; it's like a strong hunch. But being able to see the distant ripples is like being able to give the weather direction. I can pluck a tune on the thinner strings. Some threads run a very taught path, carving through history to a powerful destiny; those threads, only she [the Matron of Ravens] can view, only she can cut and weave. Sweet Fearne, your fate is in flux; like your very whims, it vibrates with uncertainty, impulsive, darting in and out of darker paths, turned back by the shadow spaces of the skein. You've always been a beautiful paradox, and it's why I knew I had to keep you safe, and keep one finger on your thread. Your true heritage required my attention. So, I'm happy to help, for now it seems that maybe now is the time it has all been heading toward. Maybe we're at the end of the strain itself. I'm glad you're here, sweet girl."

Fearne asks about the Shadow Fearne she saw way back in EXU: Prime. She seemed sad and angry, so when Fearne feels those things, she gets afraid that she'll become that. "You require answers, but not all answers are mine to give. Your mother keeps a deep, dark secret -- one you deserve to know, and one that is not my place to reveal. Perhaps you should speak with her. It might be illuminating."

Fearne asks about Morri's opinion on the Matron. "She is complicated; the pinnacle of ambition. There are things I dislike, as the places I like to walk are under her purview and she doesn't like uninvited visitors and we don't meet eye to eye; but she can't fully reach me here either, so we have an understanding... she's fine."

Then she asks about Asmodeus, Tevon, and produces the kiss -- "I thought I smelled sulfur. Oh, Fearne, you've been dallying! I now understand the context for some of these pluckings. You and your mother are more alike than you know. What that mark is, is a promise. An audience, and a chance to gain and give -- a trade." It's an invitation to make a deal with the literal devil, essentially.

Birdie returns with Ollie, who offers to cook a meal! And Morri offers to wipe FCG's memory after they plan the scavenger hunt so they can participate too.

But in a "proper place to patch things up," as much as Ligament Manor can be that, we finish out the episode.

#critical role #note watches c3 #critical role spoilers #critical role campaign 3 #critical role c3 #critical role liveblog #WHOOF #WHAT A FUCKING EPISODE #it had everything but combat and even then Chet gave us a little piece of it #by the way can I just say that I fucking LOVE Chet and Ashton's dynamic in this #it is SO GOOD

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wearevillaneve · 1 year

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The Kiss.

#killing eve #villanelle #eve polastri #villaneve #whoof #the kiss #any questions?#im sorry #i will not be taking questions at this time

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stardustedknuckles · 8 months

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Bleh. Happy second anniversary to the first day of the worst six months of my life.

#whoof #we spend today trying not to think abuot spiders but tbh the spider was just the beginning

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centaurianthropology · 2 years

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What ‘Our Flag Means Death’ Did for this Older Queer Fan

I’ve been trying to articulate what feels special about ‘Our Flag Means Death’ to me for a while. I’ve been active in fandoms since the ‘90s, back when webrings were your best bet for good fan content. I have seen a lot of shows come and go. And I got very used to my fandom experience going something like this: find a new show or movie or book or other thing, write a lot of meta about character motivation and plot structure and costume choices, and often find a pairing I found appealing. The chemistry was usually good, with variations on antagonistic, friendly, or other chemistry. And if I was lucky, the show would drop a few hints that there was something there. You learned very quickly to be grateful for scraps, and to never expect too much. There was never, NEVER an expectation that a queer pairing would be ‘endgame’, or would ever be manifested in anything more than a few lingering glances and the actors and maybe a writer or two being all for the relationship EXCEPT.

Except the producers, the studios, the audience. It would never be accepted. So it was confined to glances. And that I understood. I could appreciate that. I knew that, if they could, those writers and those actors would have gone there, but gay marriage being legalized seemed like an impossibility, queer cinema was treated as niche or arthouse, and the only queer characters allowed on network shows had to be sidekicks who never had sex.

After that came the era of the queerbait. Showrunners were more aware of fandom in the mid-2000s, and really wanted that sweet sweet audience retention. So some shows started to lean into the possibilities of queer relationships. They played up that things might happen between characters on screen. It was no longer “we want to, but the network/producer won’t let us”; it was “maybe there is something there! *wink* *wink*”, only to turn around and inevitably claim that the audience misinterpreted, that there was nothing there and never had been. It was somehow less than what we had in the ‘90s, because then at least we knew we were never getting anything, we knew that the writers had pushed something as hard as they could and they felt as shitty as we did that it wasn’t going to happen. This was, well, bait.

And yet I don’t really think I understood that feeling of being baited, because I never got the canon queer ship on screen. Whenever I saw the bait, as a fan who had been around and seen the talks in the ‘90s about queer rep on network TV, I knew that it was bait. I knew that they would never follow through because everyone was convinced that two men kissing would end their television show. So no matter how much they teased the audience, I knew it was lies, and I didn’t feel like it hit me as hard. I told myself it didn’t hurt.

Now we’re in a new era where queer relationships are directly confirmed by creators, but there’s always still this halting before the final hurdle. “These two men are in love,” they’ll say, but then turn around and say, “but it’s so elevated and pure and perfect that they would never sully it by smashing their faces together. So they’re definitely in love guys! Just don’t expect them ever to show that physically.” Because gay love is now in vogue, but gay kissing and God forbid gay sex are still that bridge too far. Even shows with great queer rep that aren’t explicitly billed as queer romances will stop before the kiss.

And this doesn’t feel like asexual rep or an embracing of queerplatonic relationships, because it definitely doesn’t feel like they deliberately set out to write that. No, it always feels like they wanted to have their cake and eat it. They want the queer fans that will come to see a queer relationship, but they don’t want to lose those fans that they are still convinced will stop watching when two mens’ lips touch (it’s different for women, because straight men love lesbians, and so they get a pass for ogling reasons, which ... is a whole different story, and a whole different long post, frankly).

And then comes David fucking Jenkins, who seems like an impossibility. He is an apparently straight white cis man in his forties. He is the exact sort of demographic that you would never expect to deliver a meaningful queer story, or a story with explicitly anti-racist or anti-colonialist beats. On first glance, he’s every other showrunner who’s tried to pull a fast one on queer audiences before.

But as this article shows, there was something different ticking away in his head. He watched Star Wars and came away with the impression that Finn and Poe were the couple with chemistry. He saw how fans treated Kelly Marie Tran and John Boyega and wanted to do better. He’s almost blissfully unaware of the long history of queer fans getting ignored, then baited, then told that gay sex or kissing would ‘lessen’ such a wonderful relationship.

So he set out to write a queer sitcom about pirates. And since it was a romcom, of course the two leads were going to kiss, because that was the point of a romcom. That’s what the audience signed up for, and to turn around and give some bullshit line about how their mouths touching would lessen what they had was inherently ridiculous. A romcom has specific beats, sure. They were inevitably going to be separated by misunderstanding, but there was also an agreement with the audience that it wouldn’t be forever.

And the kiss sealed that deal. It showed that he had none of those weird hang-ups or beliefs that if he showed two men kissing, his show would be over. And you know what? He was more right than he could have ever imagined. What he was doing was, in his head, simply following through with the agreement established by all romcoms. It wasn’t remarkable or revolutionary. It wasn’t until he was surprised that more people weren’t believing it was a romcom by the moonlit scene in episode 5 that he started to understand something was happening that he hadn’t been privy to before. I think it was only after that that David Jenkins did a deep dive on queerbaiting, and realized how pervasive it was, how even the queer audiences weren’t willing to believe what was obvious on screen. That, in the words of Lucius: “This is happening.”

And they didn’t believe it until the kiss, because that’s always the line that shows aren’t willing to cross. When he stepped over that boundary he didn’t even know existed, he had an audience ready to go to war for him. Because he had delivered. There was no waffling, no bullshit. He just delivered. And after that, well ...

The audience flocked to him. They campaigned, made cakes and Twitter storms and were unrelenting. They were a groundswell for a show that had gotten no advertising, no buzz, no press before its airing. It’s clear that HBO Max had the same old attitude that he had crossed the line with that kiss, and that the show would flop. But it was the opposite, and instead of tanking his show, it got him a renewal.

And I myself felt such a lightness in my heart after seeing that. Even with the darker end the season had, I knew that this was a romcom, that our lovers would be reunited, get over their miscommunications, and would be together in a meaningful way. David Jenkins had the idea, and then he filled his writers room with people to bring that idea to life, to push back and buy in. Queer people, people of color, people of different cultures. This is the move of a man who has a dream to write a diverse, queer story, and knows that he has a good idea for it, but also knows that he needs people who have lived those lives to help him avoid stumbling blocks that he never could have seen.

Seeing this leads to the extraordinary result of writing that is well aware of how queer characters and characters of color have been treated by the media, and how queer fans and fans of color have been treated too. It also led to him going on his own journey of discovering, realizing why people reacted the way they did, why they were hesitant to believe he would deliver, and why they would fight so hard for his show when they did. It was effervescent, like drinking champagne, to finally just ... have this. For it to happen both with the writers knowing it was something special, and the showrunner not understanding why it wasn’t always so easy just to deliver these stories. Just to see the chemistry and go for it. Just to treat characters with respect and still let them be silly and ridiculous. To have an entire world that feels queer friendly, beyond the queerness of the lead characters.

It only really hit me recently, when I heard that tired old excuse of “they love one another, but kissing or sex would cheapen that relationship, so they’re in love, but not in a sexual way”, and I was finally sick of it. Because David Jenkins and his silly gay pirate show showed that it’s bullshit. He showed that your audience booms when you finally set aside the fear of two men kissing, and just pay off the relationship. When you embrace queerness not just in words, but in deeds. It took OFMD to finally rip those tolerant blinders off me and for me to think, “Oh, just say that you don’t want to show two men kissing because you think whatever audience you have will think it’s gross.” Just say it. Just be honest instead of trying to parade this as a better form of queer representation. I wouldn’t like you any more, but I would respect the honesty.

Finally getting what I always secretly wanted from a show--but would never admit that I wanted because I knew I would always be disappointed--has taken away my ability to tolerate whatever excuse showrunners trot out for not taking that final step. OFMD opened my eyes. It woke me up to realizing that I had spent twenty years pretending I wasn’t hurt when a show teased a relationship they never intended to pay off. I haven’t felt so giddy about a show in years, and I have *never* felt so giddy about a queer genre show (because I’ve never seen one before that delivered so well on both being queer and on being genre)! This was not a show billed as a romance, but a show about pirates, but it delivered such a lovely romance and such a lot of silly pirates!

So thank you, David Jenkins. As you went on your journey of discovery about queerbaiting and how it made you feel, I have been on a similar journey. And you helped me get there. You and your silly gay pirate show.

#Our Flag Means Death #David Jenkins #whoof #this was a long one #and maybe not as coherent as some of my meta #but I wanted to try to put my thoughts in order regarding what this show means to me as an older queer fan #and what it did for me in regards to my own relationships with how television has historically treated queer pairings an queer fans #anyway #thank you David Jenkins #you will likely never read this #but you helped me a lot with your show

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