#why is this real

[nightmarenoise]

Nooooo-

NOOOOOOOO----

#this is giving me war flashbacks #anyway the crew should play among us that'd be fun #gbf #lowain #tomoi #elsam #why is this real #gbvsr #granblue fantasy #versus #rising #gbvs #storymode

[pooepw]

this is why i do not trust smogonites

they got starter pokemon that look like this

then the game has transphobic stuff like literally using the attack helicopter meme and tr*p as one of the pokemon (updated in 2022 still using those "edgy" memes).

then the hornymon sprites look professionally done like this (yes this is a real pokemon in their game)

i only noticed this because i was trying to make a sand team and when i looked up sand stream in the showdown teambuilder, i got a pokemon called snaelstrom and was greeted by this game when looking up that fakemon

edit: blue is a nazi. just straight up. he said my character had jewish tricks

and then in the next line called me and professor oak an "oven dodger"

wtf

#common smogon L #wtf is happening #why is this real #why is do not use smogon #who is churning this out #pokemon wack more like pokemon go back to 2012

[xenisacig]

AO3 makes me feel interesting things.

I don’t like this at all and refuse to accept that somebody took the time to write this…

#scp 073 #scp 076 #scp #sans #why is this real

[that-one-guy-who-does-the-thing]

what

#why is this real #why is it only 41 seconds #what is this thumbnail

[bredforloyalty]

i'm actually losing my mind over the roast beef thing. it's depressing

#how can someone talk about women like that. how can someone think about themselves like that #why is this real

[lastoneout]

Seein' too many Twitter refugees asking if they'll get in trouble for saying "kill yourself" to people and while no, you're not gonna get nuked from orbit, that is maybe something you just shouldn't be doing in general perhaps?? Maybe telling people to kill themselves is bad actually?? Some of y'all are wild, why is the first thing you can think to ask on a new platform if you can send one of the worst kinds of harassment to people?? Grow tf up and learn how to use the block button. It'll do wonders for your mood, trust me.

#this is the real cringe behavior #also you'll get reported if you do this it's actually against the rules #why do you want to do that?? #I've never felt the need to say that to anyone ever #is there a joke I'm missing out on like wtf is wrong with you #twitter #twitterpocalypse #suicide mention #ask to tag

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

#not whump #more real life ramblings let’s gooooo #EDIT genuinely why is THIS the post that took off #I have muted notifications for this thing mate I didn’t even double check my spelling #and you fuckers ran with it #good for you but also why

[franeridart]

more dragon

#my sketches #one piece #monkey d luffy #monkey d dragon #monkey d garp #real talk and jokes aside i think dragons childhood with garp wasn’t all that bad #since he actually was a marine at some point right so he must have at the very least respected garp #garps way of raising a kid that actually wanted to be a marine must have been somewhat different too #all in all i think leaving luffy to garp wouldn’t sound like such a weird thought to dragon ?? #i get why hed go there i mean #garp tho…………….. #what was that man even thinking………………….

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

#Vanilla Extract #i open the tumblr app and immediately my nostrils are invaded by the overwhelming stench of vanilla #also if you want real vanilla extract at a discount: check out stores like HomeGoods TJMaxx Marshalls etc #the foodstuffs section tends to have fancy nonperishables for much cheaper than upscale grocery stores #you can get things like saffron truffles fancy oils at surprising prices #still expensive but like. 50% cheaper #or just shoplift if that's your thing i won't tell you how to live your life #did i just spend an hour writing this? yes. why did i do that? i don't KNOW

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[araneapeixes]

i made a chart to explain my views and beliefs

#bg3 #i felt the need to lay it all out #shadowheart #karlach #lae'zel #wyll ravengard #astarion #god why am i even tagging characters. this is just for my REAL ONES who care abt my POLY SHIPPING!!

[anxietyfrappuccino]

mirrors with ads in them should not exist

#my post #ads #stop with the dystopia shit #living in a dystopia #wtf america #things that should not exist #why is this a thing #why is this real

[ninjasmudge]

thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut

#cult of the lamb #cotl #rspect my privacy at this time by not asking what came over me to make a fully colored comic #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #cotl aym #my art #actully im like really proud of this not sure why it happened but it did #anyway i have at least another 4 cotl jokes to get out right now #if you look real close you can see my hcs for lambs design before and after they got the red crown #and also i need everyone to notice aym and lambs eldrich shadow #and yes i know you can both name the cult anything AND you can have a cult in someones name with it being their cult but consider. funny #narinder

[crowlore]

we lost the plot on “slur reclamation” the second people started boldly claiming once they personally reclaim one nobody else is allowed to have negative feelings about it. speaking as a self identified faggot i wouldn’t go around telling people faggot isn’t a slur just because i like to call myself one..and yet in 2024 we’re still seeing people raked over the coals for saying “call yourself whatever you want but i don’t want to be called queer” like where is the basic respect. childish behavior.

#why does someone else not wanting to reclaim a slur impact your ability to do so like be real

[liorlen]

gale origin playthru from astarion’s pov or smth like that

#bloodweave #astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #ihhhhhhhhhuuhhhhh bad idea to make a comic that’s not required for work #but finally fucking finished it. excuse the horrible lettering I cannot be fucked #tbh when Tara came in with that fucking ring of agility like #first rest I was like. girl why are you giving me something useful #and I rushed to find the most useless object I could #thank you Komira you’re a real one #also I’m so sorry to astarion for simplifying the swaggy gold decor on your outfit but I was not drawing that twenty times #also yeah this is like early act 1 no one knows about the netherese orb or astarion’s vampirism (supposedly) yet

[redmountain16]

This is my favorite video

#cartoon #winnie the pooh #tigger #default dance #WHO MADE THIS #WHY IS THIS REAL #This is so genuinely ridiculous I love it #memes #Youtube #i am aware this is a scrabs refrence