#yeah i almost threw up

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

worst news ever: i stood on a spider. AND IT MADE A CRUNCH.

#yeah i almost threw up #yeah i started shivering and breaking down #yeah i walked around the entire house dragging my heel behind me to sandpaper the feel off my skin #yeah i kept making loud sounds of distress #it's the worst possible situation what did you expect #i still feel violently ill

[jakowskis]

"i hated owen for all/most of s1 i only started liking him in s2" weak. i liked owen since he got choked against a wall by an angry woman and then told her he wanted to shag her immediately afterwards. and then even more when he spent ep3 trying to intimidate and murder a rapist

#txt #torchwood posting #owen in the pilot? trash. but i tend to think ep3 was his comeuppance #anyway i was biased goin into tw but nonetheless. i loved him near immediately #i was like oh hermann from pr but hes a mean shitty little twink ohh??? #oh hes fucked up! oh he has murder in his eyes and hes crying! oh im obsessed! and it spiraled from there #which is usually how it goes #sigh #but yeah ep3 was when i rllyyyy started to love owen #the obsession. the vigilantism. going against jack's orders. #that one shot where gwen looks at him and he looks dangerous #i think what got me was in ep1 we see torchwood broke suzie and pushed her to kill #so seeing that a second torchwood member was also at that point only two eps later #it was like ohhhhh. ohhh thats whats going on here #and then it's amplified like the end of s1 is just owen spiraling so hard he almost destroys the world. and it was fucking fantastic #even if the cgi was bad lmfao #s1s character arcs all have to do with exploring how that life breaks people. esp ppl who were already broken. as we find out in s2e12 #& owen's the best example he's sooo fucking mentally ill and self destructive and toxic and miserable and he means the fucking world to me #and then they threw it all away in s2 to make him palatable 😒 #but thats a me problem. i do luv s2 owen just in a diff way #and im v fond of the undead arc #but s1 owen just hits diff for me. burn played him as a scared little boy and it rlly rlly shows #sss

[rabble-dabble]

and by the way i fucking deserved better. you came back with your hand held out and asked me to love you again like i was a fool, like you knew i wanted you to do but you forgot friendship is a two way street and i loved you deeper than you loved yourself. i heard myself in your words and i knew the answer before you asked the question because i spent a year grieving and a year growing and another two years healing and three more years forgetting and you sent me a message asking me to forgive you as if i already hadn't done so. you asked to try again and i almost became the fool that did it because once upon a time we were best friends then we weren't and i cried at night wishing you'd come crawling back to say those words to me again. and i thought of all the ways i could tear you apart with my teeth before carefully mending you back together with my sparkly glue and my shaky sowing needle.

but in reality i knew if i let you in again that i could forgive you but i'd never be able to forgive myself. i'd be looking into the past and spitting into the face of the kid who gave up everything he felt about you to become me and i needed to let you go like the sand between my cupped hands. the ocean cleans away the grit and leaves seashells in them. its a reminder that there are still things to find and cherish. i deserve to love the world and you will not be a part of it. i am not sorry for that.

#text post #rabble poem #friendship #vent #the audacity of ex best friends to message you like 'hayyyyy' #begone bitche #and also imagine my face when i find out my message to her was in the echo of the vent letter i wrote in a vent book #i could forgive her but i'd never forgive myself <- fav line btw. no i am not being normal about it #also yeah i blocked her ass she was like 'i miss youuuuuu i miss our friendshiiiip' #girl. 6 years too late what. we homoerotically broke up /queer platonically in MIDDLE SCHOOL move ON #me as i say the most fucked up writing possible. listen i deserve it i was normal about it for like a MONTH #imagine my surprise when i open my facebook messanger at work and i see her name like i almost threw away the whole damn phone #she said she couldnt stop thinking about me tho like LMAO i live rent free in ur head?? have fun with that bye <3

[vcrnons]

Some favs of mine 🫶🏼

feeling feelings. thank you for this attempt on my life, i’m calling in sick the rest of this week and it’s your fault <3

#💌 - mailbox. #nonniesnovio #HOW COULD YOU #SO MANY OF THESE ARE MY FAVOURITE VERNONS TOO 😭 #let’s break this down because i? am having a breakdown over it. #aka how quickly can j embarrass herself all the way to 0 followers lmao<3 #starting with racer fit vern was an actual act of violence. the vein on his shoulder and those eyes GOODNIGHT TO ME ????? #im a basic british girlie ok. if u put a pretty man in an overshirt and a backwards hat i WILL start screaming. #it’s a reflex action I don’t know why but my neighbours dogs are going feral because i am reaching impossible frequencies rn #THE JEEEEEEEEEANS #this vern was an instant wallpaper u don’t understand no one understands what this picture means to me #if ur new around here. i am a nonnie thigh enthusiast. and for that reason i will be passing away #dark hair follow tour vernon does things to me. kenzo vernon with a fuckin EARRING? he DOES THINGS to me. im not okay. #the last one specifically you don’t understand what happened to me the day that dropped okay #I speed ran every stage of grief and almost threw myself headfirst into the shallow end of a swimming pool #the soft hair / checked tie / DAD TRAINERS !!!!!!!!!! THE DAD!!!!!!! TRAINERS!!!!!!!!!! #anyway to sum up i have some normal feelings about vernon yeah. im all good 🩵 #thank you for your invaluable contribution 🩵

[yan-fairy]

hey hoyo what the fuck was that archon quest

#dayne speaks about genshin #finished it last night at 4 am… #then got up to go to school at 6 #love my life #anyways #SKIRK #FOCALORS AND FURINA AND JUST WHAT #NEUVILLETTE YOU GUYS I ALMOST CRIED #so glad childe isn’t dead #when skirk threw him through the portal… i laughed for like five minutes #mona and nicole and the hexenzirkel?!??? #navia and clorinde omg i love them… #the trial was so good!!! it was really cool how hoyo withheld the plan from us #yeah overall really great premise loved the entire thing it was so cool #i wished we had saw more of childe and arlecchino but also i felt like it was fitting #4.2 spoilers

[adhd-merlin]

Thanks for the answer. This show is tiresome in its logic and narratives...I don't know why I'm still a fan. I want to yell at them. Please, help me get free.

it's okay anon, it's not that serious. don't think about it too much.

#(says the person who definitely thinks about it too much) #no but you're right some things don't make a lot of sense #i guess you decide how far your meta can stretch to justify canon #inconsistencies in continuity bother me less than inconsistent characterisation I think. I THINK. #they both bother me a great deal #but sometimes the writers threw characterisation outta the window for the sake of a gag #arthur would not scoff and roll his eyes at seeing merlin faint! #he would not forget about him at the dolma! #i guess you can make up your own explanations as to why he does both #like “yeah he wasn't thinking straight because he just got gwen back after almost losing her” #“he thought merlin passed out because he was drunk” #or whatever #but i don't think the writers cared #sorry!! i am a normal person #asks

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

This Doesn’t Mean Anything

NA contemporary romance about a sex-repulsed girl starting uni and meeting an upperclassman who hangs out in the same study room and coffeeshop as she does

struggling with her asexuality, new friendships, and harassment

#This Doesn’t Mean Anything #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #well. #I was overall enjoying the first half of this! then it went to shit lol #for one. WAY TOO LONG. but also feels like scenes would be very short then skip to the next day #I liked how the first half of the book was just developing the relationship as a friendship. #there’s a conflict at 50% and they literally are terrible to each other for almost the entire rest of the book #also the conflict of why they can’t get together feels manufacured. #he feels like he (21) is too old for her (18) and while i’m like…yeah I understand that im iffy about it too; #as the reader we know they’re going to get together anyway. so it just feels stupid. and made that way just to cause a conflict. which lasts #too long. #2) #then men are SO overprotective to the point it’s kinda. not creepy exactly but like why the fuck can none of these women go anywhere without #a dude accompanying them? the MMC even. when she tells him to leave her alone (because he rejected her) he’s still being all protective and #and calling her sweetheart like I started to actively dislike him. it’s like. borderline manipulative ‘nice guy’ #THEN it threw in a SA at 80% or whatever which. a) can we not SA our ace characters and b) is just not handled well. it feels like an excuse #to make them hurt/comfort and then get together aka end their conflict. which. oof. #3) #‘i was looking up why i dont want sex and i saw the word asexuality but couldn’t find much else maybe the GSA could help’ #you can’t use info-not-on-the-internet as a plot excuse when. there is endless info about that on the internet? I don’t think this is set in #2005? also she doesnt even go ask the gsa #while her sex repulsion is a significant part of the book actual references to asexuality are extremely brief and half of it is shoved into #the last chapters. and it’s almost entirely her being self hating and the LI affirming her #anyway I can see the INTENTION is good here; the quality of writing just makes it all bad #like maybe these things are the author's experience and that's fine. the way it's written is uncomfortable. #i can tell all the 5* reviews are people who have never read an ace book before. i promise there is better #i think there’s gonna be a companion sequel about her roommate being aroace which. I don’t have super high hopes for writing-wise but I gues #guess I'm interested

[bootyful-seventeen]

Cozy rooms can be a double edged sword cuz one hand it is my sanctuary but on the other hand it relaxes me so much I never wanna move unless necessary

#making your room into your sanctuary takes some serious time and I’ve been here for almost a year now #and rn it’s just me trying to donate more clothes that I never bought but ended up in my room cuz I don’t need them #and so I can get rid of the dressers cuz I hate having so many bits of furniture I don’t want #but at least my grandma wants to empty tf out the garage so I can get some of my stuff that got chucked in there #😭😭 I’ll finally be able to use my rengoku and Tengen mugs again #and I can even reach the 4 candles I know someone stuck in the garage when I left them in my room #ooo and I can find the vinyls and maybe hit up a thrift store to see if anyone’s donated a record player #but that’ll probably come after I get myself a dvd player and a stand to prop my tv on #cuz for some reason my tv has this little ball sack of a recover point that juts out under the tv #and I don’t think any dvd player will fit with that thing in the way #but yeah she wants to empty the garage and I want to get rid of shit too so we’re gonna be having a garage sale soon I hope #and I even suspect that someone threw my kpop posters in the garage too but most of them were in the tube except maybe 1 or 2 #so I think they’d be safe for the most part but if not I’m gonna be mad that they got ruined when people know how easy it is to ruin posters

[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

My parents should have known that I am autistic from the way I'm not able to take medications

I'm talking about throwing up bc I couldn't handle the texture and intense flavor as kid

#yeah i need to take vitamin d and it reminded me of that #she had to keep my mouth close and my chin up bc i almost threw up #from the stupid vitamin d oil #after a couple of weeks it ends up traumatizing me and i stop whatever medication i was taking #can't wait #messed up gramar bc I'm still shaking

[crykea]

I am venting in the tags about Disordered Eating this is a heads up 👍

#honestly it isnt so much of a vent as me realizing ive lost weight #usually its hard for me to pick up on the fact that ive lost weight bc idk weight and inches do not add up the body does what it wants #but i keep almost losing my ring in the shower and when i wash my hands #and ive worn this ring for 5 years now #this has never happeend #when my mom lost weight years ago she lost it in her fingers and one night when taking out the garbage she accidentally threw out her #wedding ring #and because i know that story i think thats why ive noticed it #but yeah ive gotta put on more weight #GAH #stupid #i didnt even NOTICE

[galaxseacreature]

Weird fucking end of the day, y'all!

I've got a progress pride flag pin and a little round ace pride flag pin on my backpack. The progress pin has been there long term but even the ace pin has been on there for probably a year now. I've gotten exactly one chill "hey me too!" in that whole time (nice!)

So ofc it's the day I'm drop dead tired, I'm talking brain absolutely fried, need to get home asap, lay on the floor, and recalibrate type of bone tired. Ofc THIS is the day a coworker I'm walking out of the building with decides to ask what the ace pin is

#It's chill overall but it was kind of awkward and I just feel kinda weird #I'm weird about it much of the time tbh but especially with my brain whirring along at dial up speed from the world's longest Tuesday #So idk. I guess I sort of came out to 2 coworkers today #The first big test of my ''I'll share if asked/directly relevant'' philosophy given being ace is almost never directly relevant or obvious #No one was bad about it I just said it was an ace/ asexuality pride pin #(I have trained myself to say the full word for better comprehension. but not well enough that i don't still say ace first every time lol) #Got a ''oh I don't think I've seen that one before'' #And I said something lame like ''yeah its not as commonly known'' #Awkward beat. No direct follow up. Felt like maybe I should elaborate but not sure about what really #Could have explicitly said I was ace I guess. Probably that was the move. In hindsight and all. definitely the move! #I bet people are more likely to understand a direct coming out social script than a nominally-small-talk-about-pride-flags one #Not that I really know what I want someone to say when I come out either. Just....acknowledgement? something not mean? #Idk it just felt awkward all around. Vaguely weird. Not actually bad really. Just. Threw me off balance. #the literal end of dayness of it all too. timing really is everything in this life i swear #So that was my Tuesday afternoon!

[buck2eddie]

i cannot see another gifset of that rebar in chim's head please 😭

#i did almost stop watching the show because of it #it made me physically sick and i almost passed out and threw up lmao #LOOK I JUST GET REALLY SQUIRMISH FROM THESE TYPE OF STUFF #like head injuries getting impaled yk fun stuff #and yeah so that scene happened and i was like if this is what they're doing on ep 3 this is gonna get bad I can't handle it #luckily i handle it #but yeah sorry i can't watch that scene at all 🥲 #i don't think i even ever watched it in full #maya talks

[lazarus-lazuli]

ate a piece of ravioli that was still too hot and it burned the shit out of my raw gerd-scorched esophagus and i can't help but think i now know how that lighthouse keeper who accidentally swallowed molten lead felt

#yeah hyperbole but it hurt so bad i almost threw up <3

[bitchapalooza]

Whenever I try to think of surveyshipping flirting it fails so its led me to believe neither can flirt so now I wonder how the fuck these two even got together lmao

#'hey how did we start dating again?' #'i nervously asked you to lunch you said sure i havent eated and i nearly threw up on you out of nervousness' #'i didnt know that last part....' #'i meant to confess that on our wedding night so you wouldnt break up with me' #'oh' #'do you still want to be with me even though i almost got sick on you?' #'yeah i find your weird body attractive i wouldnt trade it for even the biggest of muscle' #'awwwww cyllene! <3' #they lack the most basic of communication skills and are very weird your honor #pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon headcanons #captain cyllene #professor laventon #surveyshipping