#yes i want to fuck valdemar

[snobgoblin]

Vlastomil has a bathing suit and I gave Vulgora and Volta bathing suits also so I wanted to give Valdemar one. I think they would sit in the life guard chair and wait for someone to drown

some notes bc I put in a lot of thought:

I put some thought into this one

>the belt pattern is present on the standard Death card

>this is one of the palace robes. they said they don't understand the human obsession with aesthetics so I don't think they're terribly concerned with having multiple outfits, so Nadia probably lended them a palace robe

>AT the same time they are happy to participate in court events when they find them entertaining. they ignore Volta's invitations to attend meetings, yes, but they also attend tea with Nadia, are happy to be an actor in the corn maze, and they wear a mask to the masquerade (that's where the robe color comes from actually) they do like participating. only when it's entertaining to them I think (my initial thought was No Fucking Way are they going to the beach with the court they can't stand these guys. but while that's true they do participate in the events I mentioned and they dont complain! when they dont like something they are very vocal about it)

>they don't actually always wear their gloves all the time despite their sprite, sometimes the player will mention seeing pale green fingers

#quaestor valdemar #snoobgoobles #the arcana fanart

[inquisitor13]

You know that one scene in game where valrius spills his drink on MC on purpose? How do you think the other courtiers and Nadia would react if MC got up without saying a word and proceeded to pour their own drink right on valirius head and leaned in real close and said “oops”? I saw a scene like this in a show and thought it was the most badass thing ever xx

(Sorry for the misspelling, I’m god awful with their names)

Oh, yes, I saw that scene. :)

Well, it's going to be fun!

Countess Nadia

As a well-bred ruler of the state, she is extremely amazed. Even more: she's in shock. Moreover, it is unclear why exactly she is more in shock – from Valerius' antics or because of the way the MC answered him.

The surprised Countess runs up to MC and Valerius, wondering what happened, who first started this whole nightmare and for what purpose it was set up. Of course, the question is: "who started it first?" rhetorical. She squints irritably at the blushing Valerius, who clearly did not expect that this act would be noticed.

Nadia reprimands the culprit first: "Consul, I did not expect this from you, your behavior is unacceptable and from this day on I forbid you to appear in rooms where others gather with a glass of wine" – even such a harmless remark can hurt Valerius' self-confidence.

After talking to the adviser, she slowly turns to the MC and already addresses them, with the same stern expression on her face. Yes, the Countess is strict, but very fair and wants everyone to get what they deserve. "MC, I understand that you are angry at Valerius because of this terrible act, but try not to do it again. This is not worthy of any reaction. Now let me deal with your stain on your clothes."

As a result, Valerius, hurt by pride, goes to wash his hair and grumbles, and Nadia leaves MC next to her to discuss what happened. She intends to have this conversation with both MC and Valerius when he gets himself in order.

"MC, I am very ashamed of my adviser, I apologize for his antics. I'll talk to him and try to make sure he doesn't try to embarrass you anymore."

Nadia will definitely make Valerius apologize to MC. And the MC will also be obliged to apologize for what he did: she doesn't want people around her to conflict or hate each other.

Quaestor Valdemar

They are not doing anything to stop what is happening. Seriously, they absolutely don't care about this brawl, they just act as a silent observer who came to watch an unfunny cheap performance.

Not a single emotion flashes on their face, but their eyes are closely watching both MC and Valerius. But at the same time Valdemar is not on anyone's side.

When the MC takes and pours wine on Valerius' head, the reaction still appears: they laugh softly, hissing into their fists, squinting their eyes. It's almost impossible to see or hear.

Since their face is hidden by a medical mask, it is difficult to determine: is Valdemar funny or are they just snorting contemptuously? Oh, no, it's really something like a laugh. They haven't had this much fun in a long time.

At the end of this meeting, they will not say anything to MC or Valerius, but they will remember this case for a long time.

Valdemar could not resist and nevertheless inserted their remark: "Valerius, you should not have taken this fatal step. Your pride is wounded," and then spreads into a wide toothy smile that can be seen even through the mask.

In their opinion, this is a good way to put the arrogant Valerius in his place, so they have nothing against it.

Pontifex Vulgora

Get ready. Their laughter will shake the whole room, and Valerius' rage will become uncontrollable, because "no one dares to laugh at the supreme consul!". But Vulgora clearly doesn't care.

"FUCK, VALERIUS, NOW YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE ALREADY HAD YOUR SKULL CRUSHED!"

They catch judgmental glances at themselves, but they don't care at all. They laugh uncontrollably, flavoring their laughter with prickly and witty comments. Finally, this reception has become less boring.

Vulgora does not care about the condemnatory views and comments of everyone present. In a fit of emotion, they can hit something in a hurry and it will definitely suffer.

For example, it can be a vase. And it will be noisy until the Pontifex releases them and they come to their senses, or until the Countess calms them down.

But even after that, they will remember this situation for a long time and make rude jokes on this topic.

Vulgora are even proud that they did not miss this reception and saw the spectacle while being at the forefront.

Preator Vlastomil

Looks at the spectacle with a bit of surprise. Not that what was happening was important to him, because all this time he was busy looking at the worms that he carried in the folds of his clothes and woke up only when he heard Valerius's indignant scream.

"What's going on here?! You are scaring my children!" – he is outraged, for the most part, not by what the MC did, but by the fact that because of Valerius, who began to resent loudly, his worms hid back in the folds of his clothes and now refuse to come out again.

When he sees Valerius doused with wine, he is not thrilled. Now there is a smell of this drink around, because of which his worms will definitely not crawl out now.

However, he is still watching this scene. After all, what else does Vlastomil like besides worms? That's right, gossip. Fresh gossip. Therefore, he discards indignation and collects material for gossip related to Valerius. This is a great reason to put him in front of everyone in an unfavorable light.

Do not be surprised if in a few days the whole palace will be talking about it. Vlastomil, of course, if he is suspected, will say that he has nothing to do with it, but since he is the only most avid gossip here, you should not believe him.

Valerius' reputation has suffered because of him.

Procurator Volta

Like Vlastomil, she wasn't particularly interested in this meeting. She was fascinated by the food she had secretly brought into the room and was just eating all the time.

Exactly until the room was filled with the smell of poured wine on Valerius' hair. She giggles softly, unable to contain her laughter. Valerius is always so proud and arrogant, and now he's so awkward and funny.

"Now Valerius smells so nice of the drink!" – she squeaks.

If Vlastomil is the main gossip of the palace, then Volta deservedly takes second place. Together with him, she, occasionally laughing, and discussing with him all the awkwardness of the incident.

When the performance is interrupted by Nadia's remarks, Volta quickly loses interest in this small scandal and returns to eating again.

#the arcana #the arcane game #nix hyrda #the arcana courtiers #quaestor valdemar #pontifex vulgora #the arcana vulgora #valdemar #vulgora #procurator volta #praetor vlastomil headcanons #praetor vlastomil #quaestor valdemar the arcana game #valdemar quaestor #quaestor valdemar headcanons #valerius headcanons #consul valerius #valdemar headcanons #arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana courtiers headcanons #countess nadia

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

Seven Silly Questions Tag

I am suffering the consequences of @i-can-even-burn-salad's lack of sleep and playing this lovely new tag game with lovely new questions I haven't answered a thousand times already. Thank you, Elli 💜

And I'm gonna no pressure tag these peeps in return: @outpost51, @little-peril-stories, @clairelsonao3, @crowandmoonwriting, @sarandipitywrites, @oh-no-another-idea, and Open Tag if you wanna jump on board :D

First messaging app: aol instant messenger/AIM babyyyy. and god, does that make me feel fucking old XD

Pickles yes or no: Yes :D but normal pickles, not the bread and butter ones. i mean, i can tolerate those on a sandwich or smth, but fucking pickles aren't supposed to be sweet. c'mon.

Favorite mythical creature: Dragons, my beloved.

Longest book series you've read: If you count a series that contains multiple trilogies and stuff in the same world across different timelines, the Heralds of Valdemar series by Mercedes Lackey has north of 40 books and I've read 32 of them. If not, please don't make me count the Black Dagger Brotherhood by JR Ward with 18 books read out of 21, or the Dark Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon with 18 read out of 22, please don't😅

Playstation, xbox, or nintendo controller layout: I'm gonna have to go with xbox, just bc its what i'm used to now and using smth else is just weird. But I did grow up with and went through all the nintendo layouts, so they hold a special place in my heart lol

Best time to get out of bed: i guess that depends on what time i got in it in the first place lol. gonna go with around 10 am. by that time i've been awake for a couple hours (i seem to have an internal alarm for around 7 or 8 am these days >.>) and my back is starting to hurt and i've left my kids unattended for some time 😬 (assuming weekend here, when i can actually choose when i want to get up, yk)

Did you ever have a tamagotchi: hell yeah!! and i went on a search and find but i don't have it anymore :(( i loved that thing

Template under the cut

First messaging app:

Pickles yes or no:

Favorite mythical creature:

Longest book series you've read:

Playstation, xbox, or nintendo controller layout:

Best time to get out of bed:

Did you ever have a tamagotchi:

#starlit plays tag games #seven silly questions tag #writeblr tag games

[angeledeggs]

Begging for the Courtiers with a S/O that is 🎺y for them in their Demon form

Will do! I love getting so many requests, they just make my day <3

Valerius🍷:

So shocked that he actually has to lie off the wine for a moment. His immediate thought is that he's had way too much to drink, and he needs you to repeat yourself. But no, he hasn't had much to drink, you're still going on about how he is hot in his demon form?

How... Uncultured of you. He needs more wine for this.

No, but he's still really shocked even when he confirms that you get turned on when he's in his demon form? Really? That is when? Oh... It's both a confidence boost and a humbling moment for him.

On one hand, he always thought his demon form was ugly, so it's touching for you to enjoy it so much. But on the other hand, he's like, is that ALL he had to do??

Will probably think about what you told him for a few days until he'll actually use it to his... Advantage

His demon form is the most underdeveloped of all the courtiers, it's only really half, but it is still quite unnatural for a human to have such a claw, such sharp teeth, such... Horns.

It's hot.

He'll be a bit hesitant if you want to have sex with him in his demon form. After all, he has very sharp nails in his demon form, he dosent want to accidentally hurt you.

But if you insist upon it, okay, he supposed once won't hurt. And maybe whenever he's stressed...

It ends up happening more than that.

Vlastomil🐛:

Is a bit concerned when you tell him. He's immediately asking you, "are you unwell? Poisoned? Dying? Is this some sort of call for help?" But when you assure him, no, you're not, you just really like his demon form, you receive a blank stare.

The praetor needs some time to process this. Maybe some drugs, too... No, no, he'll forego the drugs. But he borrows some wine from Valerius

He's immediately asking so many questions, like, are you sure? You know he gets all slimey... Just to confirm, you're not on drugs? Is this some sort of code for help?

He's so surprised when he finally processes the fact that you get turned on by his demon form. He is literally a slimey eight feet tall monster!!

Oh, but if you so insist upon it, yes, he might show you his demon form when you ask.

Probably will refrain from fucking you in it, though, since he's literally eight feet tall and that makes it admittedly difficult unless you two prepare.

Will definitely tease you about it, though.

Valdemar💉:

You don't even need to tell them, they know. They're practically already in their demon form all the time, and they see you blush when they get too close for comfort. They enjoy it immensely.

They love to tease you (if you're already their partner, especially) and will make sure to show off their sharp nails in any way they possibly can.

They also show off their height by wearing their heeled boots. They love to tower over people. And most of all, you.

You needn't even attempt to hide or show your attraction towards them, for they will always know. They just do. They see the way your eyes linger on them. They lick their teeth just to torment you longer.

Since you're so desperately whorish for them, they suppose they'll have to give you what you want.

After all, they are part of the court, and the court is meant to help people. Who are they to judge if part of their helping happens to be fucking you until morning?

Volta🍰:

Oh, she's so charmed by that!

And also a bit concerned for you. You really like her like that when she's in a demon form? When her ribs snap and grow out of her skin and her very flesh is on the brink of melting?

Wow. She is.. So very flattered that you do. Nevermind the fact that you most definitely shouldn't be, she's quite happy you do.

Um... sex might be out of the option, though.

I mean, her bones are literally poking out of her body and unlike Vulgora and Valdemar, she can't quite control it...

But there's no doubt that shes definitely learning how just for some monster sex.

Vulgora⚔️:

You telling them this has given them.. An unneeded ego boost.

Oh, so you like it when they grow two feet taller and their flesh is more beetle than human? Oh, so that gives them much too many ideas, much too many depraved ideas...

Their demon form resembles a tall beatle like demon, but they have some control over it, like, they can control their height and stuff.

Because of this they probably will have sex with you in the form of you want, since it's easier to control their form.

They're, surprisingly, careful with you if/when you want to have sex in their demon form. Like, their nails are sharp and they're very strong but they make sure not to hurt you.

Unless you want them to.

❀

#the arcana #the arcana apprentice #the arcana fanfic #the arcana game #consul valerius #quaestor valdemar #valdemar the arcana #valdemar #valdemar x reader #praetor vlastomil #vlastomil #pontifex vulgora #volta #valdemar x mc #headcanon #reqs open

[cut3sy-baphom3t]

oh god can i ask for Mc having a date with Vulgora? (if you have time and want of course) i love how you write btw!!

Why yes of course you may!! I'm a little rusty, so forgive me 😘

--------------------

Vulgora stood outside of MC's living quarters, tapping their toes on the marble floor impatiently. Every now and again, they'd hear movement that sounded like their lovely partner was walking towards the door. But no. Once again, mc is taking forever in their pursuit to look "perfect" for their date with the explosive warlord.

Their first date was incredible, but it didn't start out that way. You see, it all started with bread.

----------first date incoming----------

Mc was having a very nice day. They awoke to gently sun rays and birds and a soft warm wind. They then had a delicious breakfast and a relaxing conversation with Asra, who somehow didn't turn the toast to ash or an icecube. Don't ask. Not even Asra knows, in all their infinite wisdom.

Next was a walk to the market to buy a loaf fresh, sweet, mouthwatering, perfect pumpkin bread. Mc had been looking forward to this all week! They had a few extra bucks to spend after paying rent... Asra.

There it was! The break maker and the pumpkin bread and the no lines! Mc made a beeline for the counter. They were a magician on a mission!

But of course Someone just HAD to be running right towards them.

I'm sorry, Running?

Yeah. No.

Vulgora was flooring it, throwing people and obstacles this way and that! They, too, were on a mission. Valdemar, in a desperate attempt to get Vulgora out of they're hair (horns?) bet Vulgora that they didn't have the "fortitude" to confess their feeling for mc and ask them on a date.

Oh, Valdemar... On bread day? It had to be on bread day?!

Mc heard the commotion and turned to see what was up, only to come face to face. Toe to toe. Eye to eye. Nose to nose with Pontifex Vulgora. They were red in the face and their gauntlets were emitting a shivering sound. Vulgora was producing a chittering noise as they stared into the eyes of their greatest battle yet.

Being emotionally vulnerable.

"MC! I-"

"It's bread day."

"Okay.. BUT LISTEN I-"

"...It. Is. Bread day. There is now a LINE for the bread... You have prevented me from getting MY pumpkin bread on BREAD day..."

Vulgora was very confused. " It's just... Bread. Right?

Mc moved in close, "I CHERISH this bread. I will FIGHT for this bread... I stayed awake and did extra readings so I could PAY for this bread." They pulled out their deck of magic cards. "I haven't slept in THREE. DAYS. For this bread. NO IT ISN'T JUST BREAD! HOW FUCKING D A R E YOU CALL THIS PUMPKIN BREAD JUST BREAD!"

Vulgora paused, fighting the urge to lean forward and kiss this bread maniac at their most beautiful After a moment they took a deep breath and yelled out, "I WILL KILL ANYONE WHO GETS IN THE WAY OF ME BUYING MY DATE BREAD!"

The crowd dispersed and Vulgora stomped up to the shaking baker man. "C-can I h-help you?"

"PUMPKIN BREAD! NOW OLD MAN! THIS IS A TIME SENSITIVE ORDER!" Three loaves of pumpkin bread we're instantly thrown into the pontifex's hands and the bread maker stated, full of fear albeit, that they were on the house.

Vulgora stomped back to mc and shoved one of the loaves into their arms.

Mc looked surprised and confused, "Date?" Is all they could manage to spit out before Vulgora grabbed their hand and began dragging them off in the direction of the colosseum.

"DATE. NOW." Vulgora's face was even redder than before, if that's possible. A couple plague beetles crawled out of the gauntlets, annoyed by the sudden shaking and shivering of the shiny metal.

Soon they were at the colosseum and mc was panting, hands on their knees, from trying their best to keep up with their manic kidnapper. Once mc regained their breath, they stood straight with the fullest intention of scolding Vulgora for making them and dropping one of the loaves. But the anger fell quickly.

They were eyeing Vulgora, who was awkwardly extending their hand towards mc with their gauntlets holding a loaf of pumpkin bread in a vice grip, averting their golden gaze towards the stands. Vulgora began to mumble.

"Wergoinonuhdaynuw."

"... What?"

"WergoinonuhDAYNUH!"

"SPEAK UP DAMN IT!"

"WE'RE GOING ON A DATE NOW! OKAY?! SO! YEAH, DEAL WITH IT, BREAD FREAK!"

Mc was flabbergasted. Not because of Vulgora 'asking' them on a date, but because Vulgora was so shy, so insecure about it.

Mc's cheeks began to burn as they took the loaf and broke it in half, giving one side to their date/kidnapper. "Ya know, if you wanted to go on a date, I would have said yes regardless. Thank you for the pumpkin bread though! No lines are best lines!" Mc giggled and took a bite of the sweet, prophecized, blessed, perfectly baked pumpkin bread, immediately 'mmm'ing and 'its so fucking good'ing.

Vulgora watched, in absolute awe. Mc would have gone with them willingly? How can they be so calm about it? Aren't they scared? Did they want to go on a date? Is Vulgora gonna smash?

But all those questions disappeared when mc opened their eyes and smiled so happily at the pontifex, making their way over and kissing their cheek. "This is very sweet, Vulgora. What did you want to do on our date?" Without missing a beat, Vulgora grabbed mc and hugged them with surprising gentleness, giving them a tight squeeze before go.

"I'm gonna give you the grand tour of my armory!" They announced proudly, chest puffed and throat chittering.

"Sounds like fun! You'll have to tell me everything about them and all their stories!"

To say Vulgora was relieved would be a massive understatement. Not only were they relieved, but they were incredibly excited to show off for an audience that seemed even more excited than they did!

Thank you Valdemar, for being annoyed with Vulgora and making this bet.

#the arcana #the arcana mc #mc #the arcana vulgora #vulgora #pontifex vulgora #vulgora x mc #vulgora x reader #requested #the arcana pontifex vulgora

[consul-valerius]

Apprenticember Day 4: Donna and the Courtiers (and courtier adjacent)

What about the courtiers? Have they met them? What do they think of them?

Donna has (of course) met all of the courtiers and more or less has some sort of relationship with all of them (they are a courtier fucker by nature after all lol) :')

Lucio (lol)

Donna has been through the ringer with Lucio LMAO Prior to working at the palace, they were fairly terrified of him due to stories they had heard around the city, notably his cruelty to others. However, upon meeting him, Lucio’s insane charisma stats immediately charmed Donna, and they were initially smitten by him they must admit. However, upon seeing how Lucio behaved and how poorly he led, all their strong emotions changed from frightened crush to annoyance and indifference lmao

The scale tipped once the plague broke out, though; that was the final straw for Donna, and any semblance of civility was pretty much gone. The “ending” to their relationship was Lucio banishing Donna from Vesuvia for publicly speaking out against him—he also permantely scarred their face during this confrontation. 

Despite this, after the game events, Lucio is still convinced both Donna and Valerius are still infacuated with him and just need some extra help to understand this :)))

Valdemar

Donna and Valdemar have a very… strange relationship that I will expand more on for day 6 lol But the gist of it is that initially, Donna was very taken by Valdemar and developed a very one-sided work crush. While at first mildly annoyed, Valdemar's curiosity pique the more relaxed Donna was with their behavior, which is not exactly normal for newbies at the palace. Seeing how well Donna managed under the chaos of the other courtiers + Lucio, Valdemar began to view Donna as a very useful tool and was eager to manipulate them for their own needs. (it's very hard to find good interns these days sheesh 😫)

This involves them starting a “friendship” with Donna that blurs the lines of real feelings and manipulation. Essentially, Valdemar really wants to study Donna like a bug, and they are aware they can catch more flies with artificial honey and not corpses lmao It is difficult for Donna to read them, and Valerius has no guidance to offer as he doesn't get Valdemar at all lol The three wind up getting into this muddled mess together, and Valdemar will eventually use this as leverage with Damien down the line

Vulgora

At first, Donna was absolutely terrified of Vulgora. They reminded Donna of a lot of their aunt’s abusive exes with how loud and violent they are, which made it hard at first for the two to really connect. However, thanks to Volta, they are able slowly begin bonding with them and positively redirect a lot of Vulgora's outbursts into something fun for the both of them that cause minimal damage. The two often spar (with Donna always allowing Vulgora to win lmao) and can relate to having very loud inside voices. No, they aren’t yelling, THIS IS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN THEY YELL!!!!!

Volta

Tiny, tiny friend. Donna instantly was drawn to Volta as she reminds them a lot of themself in many ways (very similar to Portia actually). Donna is more relaxed and opened with Volta, and they both silently just get that the other is an anxious, shivering creature deep inside lol For all the madness of the courtiers, Volta is a breath of fresh air despite being pretty incompetent when it comes to her job. While this can be frustrating at times, it’s hard for Donna to really be mad when NO ONE does their job here lol

Vlastomil

Woo boy, I always joke that Donna would have been a Vlastomil main if I wasn’t deathly afraid of worms LMAO Donna is also. Deathly afraid of worms. They understand fundamentally why Vlastomil likes them, and they will gladly sit and soak up every bit of information he tells them. But no, no they really don’t need a visual. No, they don’t want to see any of his babies. Yes, they will freak out and blow them all up if he pulls them out, do not fucking test them—

#bottom draws #apprenticember #the arcana #count lucio #quaestor valdemar #pontifex vulgora #procurator volta #praetor vlastomil #the arcana apprentice #fan apprentice donna #bottom ponders #i like that this is in some ways also helping with damien lore lol #'look kid--me and your parents were super close take my word for it' LOL

[fox-daddy]

The arcana as memes again

TW: swearing, smut jokes, being mean to Lucio because it's fun. Also marked as spoilers just incase.

Asra: what flavor of ice-cream would you be?

Julian: vanilla

Lucio: Vanilla? Basic bitch, huh? I'd be pistachio~

Asra: beacuse nobody likes you?

Lucio: offended Lucio noises*

Asra & Julian: dying of laughter*

Asra: nobody likes pistachio ice-cream

~~~

Asra: pre grame post plague singing* hey- how you doing? Yeah, I'm doing just fine. I lied. I'm dying inside.

~~~

Julian: I want to be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

MC: A dentist?

Julian: I don't know what your dentist has been doing to you but I think you need to tell Nadia

~~~

Asra: reading is just staring at a dead piece of wood for hours and hallucinating

Portia: please delete this

~~~

Lucio: when you become famous you're called a legend because your leg ends

Asra: what?

Lucio: your leg. it ends

Nadia: I'm not a linguist but I think that's wrong

Lucio: are you saying your leg doesn't end?

Nadia: I mean. at some point it does. yes.

Lucio: then what's the problem?

~~~

Asra: my proposal for humans 2.0. Wings, detachable boobs, better knees, ears that you can turn on and off

Julian: I agree and would like to add reinforced spines

MC: more eyes

~~~

Asra: I just slept for fifteen hours what did I miss?

Julian: trying not to laugh* this dick

Asra: oh good, I thought I missed something big

Julian: depressed noise*

~~~

Valdemar: If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it's asleep, put it in your mouth, but don't eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

MC: Why the fuck would I do that?!

~~~

Lucio: I just pretend I know what I'm talking about 150% of the time

Nadia: if you can't blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit

~~~

Valdemar: Bacteria. The only culture some people have

Lucio: doctors are jerks

Julian: our sense of humor is infectious though

~~~

Asra: Laid is pronounced like paid but not said and said is pronounced like bread but not bead and bead is pronounced like lead but not lead

~~~

Portia: when I was young Julian told me old people sag because they're being pulled to hell and I cried

~~~

Julian: If someone points at your black clothes and asks you whose funeral is it?, take a look around the room and casually say 'Haven't decided yet' because that is always a good response

~~~

Asra: looking at something absolutely weird and yet awesome* why commit murder when you can have one of those?

MC: I'd kill for one of those

Asra: I think you're missing the point, MC

~~~

Asra: your bed is probably as happy to see you as you are to see it. 'here comes the warmth slab' it thinks

Portia: WRONG! it thinks 'I hope this dipshit doesn't spill beans all over me again, who the fuck eats beans in bed?'

Julian: you eat beans in bed?

Portia: not the point!

~~~

MC: eats a snack while looking for a better snack*

~~~

Drunk Lucio: I was using the bathroom and I needed to pee and I couldn't so then I thought in my head. 'pee, come on! I know urine there' and then I wound up laughing to hard that I peed

Asra: LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED!

~~~

MC: I am a piece of trash

Nadia: As someone who cares deeply about the enviroment, I am obligated to pick you up. Is seven okay?

MC: you smooth bitch

~~~

Asra: - saves rare item for a more dire situation

Asra - never uses rare item

MC: what if theirs an emergancy?

-MC gets into an emergency-

MC: WHAT IF THERE'S A BIGGER EMERGENCY?!

~~~

Asra: an apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough

Valdemar: bold of you to assume I won't just swallow it

Julian: that's not how swallowing works

valdemar: not if your a whimp

~~~

MC: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people

Asra: I love sleeve smacking people

~~~

Lucio: if I were dating you. well, heh. Let's just say horses wouldn't be called 'horses' anymore.

Julian: hey, Lucio? what the fuck does this mean?

Julian: I'm actually shaking what does this mean?!

~~~

MC: oh my god, theirs a dog outside Muriel's house. Best. day. ever. Hello fuzzy baby friend.

MC: NOT A DOG! NOT A DOG! BEAR! ABORT, ABORT, ABORT!

Asra: rolling a 1 on a perception check

~~~

Nadia: if you bite it and you die; it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die; it's venomous.

Lucio: what if it bites me and it dies?

Nadia: that means you're poisonous, pay attention!

MC: what if it bites itself and I die?

Asra: It's magic

MC: okay and what if we bite each other and none of us die?

Julian: that's kinky

~~~

Asra: showing them a picture of a ^ shaped bridge* moon bridge

Julian: how the fuck are you supposed to cross that?

Nadia: with determination

~~~

Nadia: I am at a loss for words!

Lucio @ the audience: despite being loss for words, Nadia spent the next forty-five minutes yelling at me.

#the arcana game #the arcana mc #the arcana apprentice #asra the arcana #nadia the arcana #lucio the arcana #portia the arcana #tw swearing #the arcana spoilers

[checkoutmybookshelf]

That Isn't What I Pictured When You Said "Speak From Your Heart"

So...guys. This book. This is the book where we get Haven. This is the book where we get companions. This is the book where we get heralds. This book should have been legitimately awesome and...like...yes, but also no? Let's talk Valdemar.

So as the very brief intro probably clues you into, this is a SPOILERIFIC ZONE. There are SPOILERS HERE. Consider yourself warned.

This book picks up after what feels like ten-odd years of the Valdemarans having been living in Haven, which is thriving. They have surplus, they have trade amongst themselves, they're developing their infrastructure, and they're starting to look past survival and at what they want to build. We are told about the plagues, infestations, and other stuff the Valdemarans have overcome while they settled and grew Haven, but when the book actually opens, they're sitting pretty and starting to get to a point where they can do things that start to feel like luxuries.

They're doing real good, so of course we have to fuck that up somehow.

The weird thing about that though, is the pacing and subplots of this book, and also the fact that this book is...NOT GOOD at disability. I went into that pretty deeply in this post, so I'm not going to repeat myself here. But despite still enjoying Kordas as a character and going giddy fangirl over watching the Valdemar I know and love take shape, the structure of this book landed a bit funny with me.

Until the last quarter or so of this book, the driving force behind this book is Kordas's anxiety that Valdemar won't outlive his son's reign, because humans are inherently the worst and without a strong, moral, great human leader the kingdom will fall to base savagery. And y'all, I live in the 2020s. I don't even disagree that humanity's worst is BAD. I do kind of have a problem with Kordas's logic being waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too similar to Trumpian strongman "I am the only one who can fix it" but leaning more toward lawful good ("only a good man can fix it" but we never actually define "good man" more clearly than "Kordas and Restil" so it's a whole thing) than chaotic evil. That's more or less what the companions fix though, so I can get on board with Kordas's thought experiment and working through the anxiety about his legacy.

Once the companions show up though, then we get back to the Kordas I enjoy most: the avid, highly-detailed planner. This man and the first grove-born companions have to basically come up with the heraldic circle on the fly, and watching the heralds be born was VERY fun. That was just great.

I do need to take a minute to call out THAT scene, though. Because here's the thing. By the time this book was written, the lore of Valdemar's founding was pretty set. As it is told in Arrows of the Queen:

...he waited till Midsummer's Day; he went out into the middle of what we call Companion's Field now, and he asked every god he'd ever heard of to help him. [...] Well, he started out at dawn; it wasn't till sunset that he got an answer. Everything went kind of light all over, like when you get too much sun on snow, and all he could hear was the sound of hoofbeats--hoofbeats that sounded just like bells. When the light cleared away, there were three horses standing in front of him; horses with coats the color of moonshine and eyes like pieces of sky.

Which has a sort of grandeur and dignity to it. However, as is kind of a theme with the heralds in general, the stories and the realities rarely match up. And a thousand years of narrative drift also explains some of the differences in details, because there are MANY. Kordas's plea to the gods in Valdemar takes the better part of a chapter, so I'm not going to quote it at you here.

What I will say about it though, is that it took place in the middle of the dang night, and it was less a prayer and more like the scenes in Lerner and Lowe's Camelot where Arthur is onstage monologuing to himself about ethics and sorting out what he should do about whatever decision he is facing at that point in the play. This chapter in Valdemar reminds me most strongly of the closing monologue after Lancelot is knighted, and Arthur is like, "Oh this is gonna be so bad, but all I can do is run the course and be king." However, where Arthur is destined for tragedy, Kordas actually gets some help. Which is impressive because the vibe is half angsty King Arthur and half "character on the West Wing can't sleep and so monologues to the gods." Which honestly...the description still feels like it has more grandeur and dignity than the experience of reading it did, because you're not watching Kordas pace and monologue, you're literally in his head. It's a very weird take on this, and it's not what I was expecting, but I think it did work, for some definition of work.

What I think absolutely did not work was the fact that Mercedes Lackey decided that this was also the book to tell the full story of Shadowdancer and Sunsinger--who those of you familiar with the Valdemar music will recognize from their 2005 album, Sun and Shadow. We also get their legend in Arrows of the Queen. Unfortunately...they're very secondary characters in this book, and despite Rothas pulling a Bard ex machina at the end, they kind of feel completely disconnected from the rest of the founding narrative. Like, I was happy with their legend being in song and retold, I was not jonesing for Rothas and Lythe's story here. It was just kind of...crowbarred in and we never really got to know Lythe at all. I truly do not think this part of the book worked. I appreciate the attempt at complicating the concept of lifebonds, but it broke the narrative's spine a little because there wasn't enough space to really explore it.

The other thing that didn't work was how fast the big bad for this book blew up and how equally fast she was defeated. There was also some ugly sanism around her characterization, and I did not love that. She was a Hawkbrother apprentice who...randomly went mad for *cough* inaudible mumbling *cough* reasons, murdered her bondbird, and fucked off into the wilderness before showing back up with blood magic to try to throw monsters at Haven's gates to conquer it. The book tries to give her a tragic backstory and connection to Silvermoon to add some emotional weight to her, but it doesn't land. The big climactic battle feels weirdly underwhelming, and honestly I would have been fine with this book focusing more on building the heraldic circle and like...diplomacy with other settlements around Haven. Random big climactic battle with crazy mage lady felt off tonally and a bit like an editor went "this is a fantasy book, put a big battle at the end." Which I don't think is what actually happened, given Lackey's fame and experience, but that's what if FEELS like.

So the TLDR on this book is that seeing Valdemar and the Heraldic Circle get born was awesome, the character work was mostly good, but there was some weird tonal dissonance and some really problematic ableism and sanism that kind of soured the reading experience for me.

#mercedes lackey #valdemar #the founding of valdemar #heralds #heralds of valdemar #herald mages #sanism #ableism #companions #hawkbrothers #adult fantasy #fantasy novel #books and reading #books & libraries #books and novels #books #book recommendations

[teeth-farie]

Hey so I just reread a bunch of your gore fics and that got me back into The Arcana but I’ve always loved the courtiers and there’s NEVER any good fics with them 😭 (at least none that I can find)

So I’m gonna talk to you about Valdemar cause I think you’ve said before you enjoy them but you can ignore this if you want. I can’t remember who posted it but I remember there was this art of them splitting themself apart starting from their crotch and it had a caption of like “gotta spread wider for MC..” or something and omfg

I think about that so often like damn yes I want to tie them to their own vivisection table and cut them open in the sexiest way possible. Just playing around in whatever guts this demon has and getting covered in their blood while they watch? Sign me tf up please

AHH YEAHH LOVE ME SOME VALDY

I’ve seen that art!!! I can’t remember the artists name off the top of my head but I think I’ve reblogged from them before

Also one of my friends brought up that one dissection girl story from junji ito and yeah that’s what valdemar would look like on the inside. They’re like “come cut me open, mc, if you’re so curious” and so you do and they’ve got fucking. Eyeballs and teeth in there

(And also valdemar watching you investigate and grope their insides, an unfamiliar heat rising to their face and a new feeling in their cored gut)

#mail #valdemar #spicy #gore tw #hard kink #thirsts #I gotta write something for the courtiers #actually #I started a volta fic like last year #but never finished it

[reservoirreputation]

I have a problem called Harvey Keitel, but damn do some of the movies he stars in sound real fuckin depressing.

AND. THEN.

I spot 'Two Evil Eyes'

SO GET THIS

it's got Harvey in it (duh) it'S DIRECTED BY GEORGE ROMERO AND DARIO FUCKING ARGENTO????? DOING ADAPTATIONS OF STORIES BY EDGAR ALLEN POE????????

THIS SOUNDS AMAAAAAAAZZIIIIIIIIIING

Romero's first, THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF MR. VALDEMAR

Our main female character's suit is both very eighties, but actually looks nice? It was *only* 1980, I guess it's before things got our of control.

Couldn't help but like her a bit. Practicing her retort in the car is so human, you can't help sympathizing with her.

The mistress wants to get paid- is it wrong I kinda agree with her? I mean, assuming she has nothing to do with her husband's impending death.

Obvious forgery is obvious.

Ernie and the Doctor sound very similar *side-eyes*

One, the house is beautiful, two, are Jessica and her totally-not-sancho wearing clothes made from the same bolt of fabric? I mean, that's one way to code that they're working together.

Jessica at least has some shame- the titular Mr. Valdemar is pretty much a puppet, at this point. Her cohort is trying to justify it, saying her husband's a bad man.

ROBERT AN JESS ARE EXES

Valdemar literally stole his girl, damn.

Well then. I went from pitying the poor guy because he's awake now and in so much pain, to disliking his ass because of how he talks about his wife.

Wall safes are so cool. Also, Robert clearly didn't know about it. Looks like he won't need Jess' full cooperation, huh?

'nothing at all to connect us' nothing telegraphs that their romantic relationship is dead more than that, huh?

Gotta love Ernest having such a timely death. So much for those efficient millions.

Three weeks at Valdemar's baaaaabbbbbyyyyyy.

oh shit, at fist I thought they chopped him up (stupid, they were just talking about making him look fresh for a mortician) but DAMN my brain really went there.

So many similarities between this and Bernie. Wild.

That shot of the feet disappearing under the stairs- *chef's kiss*

'I'm glad to see that you're finally doing the right thing' YES NIGHT NURSE, RUB THE SALT INTO THAT WOUND

Damn, that pool might as well be an ocean between them, huh? Also, they're wardrobe couldn't be visually further apart, now.

Those massive fuckin' sunglasses, listen to the Eagles baby, you can't hide your lyin' eyes (also a song about a young wife cheating on her cold as ice husband with a much younger man, more 'age appropriate')

OH NO DON'T TELL ME THAT POOR BASTARTD'S STILL ALIVE

OH NOOOOO

DON'T ACTUALLY MAKE ME FEEL BAD FOR HIS BITCH ASS (they're all terrible tho)

FUCKING HELL ROBERT, KNOCK ASSHOLE

He's totally alive down there.

OK tubi's got ads, no shit, but I just got a Credit Karma ad? With a non-binary MC named Morgan?? I LOVE THIS?? I LIKE THIS PICTURE BECAUSE I AM IN IT?!?!?!

Back to the movie 'I'm here, I'm with you, nothing is gonna happen' SOMETHING IS ALREADY HAPPENNING

I love how Jesse's vibe is never 'oh no, my husband's still alive and is suffering!' and instead is 'I'm being HAUNTED'

No, wait she's not in denial?

Hm, your husband has some freezer burn, I'm afraid you'll have to throw him out.

NO WAIT, OH SHIT OH FUCK IT'S THE HYUPNO BULLSHIT MOTHERFUCKER IS STILL ALIVE

What a fucking nightmare.

Nope, sorry, he is in fact dead. I'm apparently as confused about it as this doctor is. BTW, trying to pry his frozen eyes open? That's also good shit.

Boy, I started this to get to some Harvey Keitel, and I ended up watching some existential terror.

Oh god, he just wants to be woken up.

'The others are coming'?? Oh shit, I've seen this Doctor Who episode.

'It's over' insert John Cena meme 'are you sure about that?'

'they're coming for you Jessica' is so close to 'they're coming to get you, Barbara' that I am unreasonably delighted by it.

Yo, Robert, you might wanna GTFO

Hey, isn't that the guy from Night of the Creeps?

When all your budget went into the location and Ernest's special effects, that the 'others' gotta settle for body suits.

Nevermind, a good portion of the SFX also went to Robert.

Heh? Get it?? Blood money??

Next is Dario Argnto: THE BLACK CAT

We get a bunch of crime scene photos, and then one very good boy (a black cat) Look, I've got four black cats, I don't know if I can put up with any impending slander.

'Sir, you think there's any chance of me being transferred back to parking violations?' SHIT GIRL SAME WE'RE IN THE DEEP END ALREADY

You know, I was wondering why they were using an obvious dummy, and then we get the overhead shot. In just a few seconds, we get a very different tone and execution, holy fucking shit.

"I'm sorry' proceeds to take cool-ass shots of a death trap. Gee, I wonder what fate will befall this poor artsy bastard.

AHHHHH IT'S A CUTE BOOOOOOOOOY (Harvey in a bow tie)

AHHHHH IT'S A CUTE BOOOOOOOOOY (Black cat existing)

Correction: AHHHHH IT'S A CUTE GIIIIIIIRRRRRRRLLL

Found the cat on the street, story of all my animals. They just show up, know that we'll feed 'em. Sure, you might get your balls cut off, but ain't that worth the kibble? Also, you'd better not be pointing out that white mark on her chest just to kill her later, and that be the only identifying marker. I swear to god, movie-

One, yeah that cat's staring at you. Two, this sweet girl reminds me so much of Buttons. The eyes, the white patch. God, I miss him.

You know what, fair enough, worrying about gettin' your eyes clawed out. One of our cats likes to attack people's feet, but only when they're covered. He prefers my Mom's which just comes across as spiteful. (God, this movie's gonna expose me as an annoying cat owner, isn't it?)

How the fuck did this fucking cat get OUTSIDE? Bitch, you were in the hallway, stop teleporting. Also, LET THE BABY INNNNNN.

You motherfucker, throwing the shoe and then pretending you were asleep. Your girlfriend needs to smack you.

My dislike of the photographer aside, Harvey looks great in a bathrobe, soaking wet. Also, is he contractually obligated to have a comb with him in 90% of his films? 'Cause it sure feels like it.

If this doesn't end with his obvious witch girlfriend sacrificing his ass because he pissed off/hurt the cat, then I don't know what's gonna happen.

Welp, the cat's dead, innit? Well, she may come back and haunt his ass, but he totally killed her. Girlfriend's underreacting BTW. If I knew with certainty that my partner/anyone I was living with killed my pet-

Now I'm really hoping his ass gets cut in half. Or that the cat comes back to eat his eyeballs.

There's something very wholesome about a village coming together to execute an animal abuser.

'But I didn't finish!' is unintentionally hilarious. Buddy, I think you got them all.

Who the fuck is this student?? And why does he literally look like a child?? Who looks at a woman crying and goes 'God you're beautiful?' *Grabs spray bottle for both of these idiots*

Did he really- deny killing the cat- and then release a book showing him killing the cat?

THE BITCH IS BACK

IT'S DEFINITELY HERS

Buddy- did you not learn your lesson? Killing the cat twice isn't gonna help. Also, he's apparently gonna hang, a shame. I was really banking on him getting cut in half.

That shot of the staircase from the top down- I think I know where Rod's gonna hang.

Something about the CC reading 'knife pierces skull' that just- oof.

The shot of him frantically scrubbing off blood, then it cutting to her blood staining the bath water- that's cinema, right there.

Oh shit OH SHIT ARE WE ABOUT TO HAVE A SECOND BODY

Nope. Something about jazz music playing loudly in the background makes this feel even more insane.

'together forever' honestly made me think he was gonna kill himself. No, I think he's just gonna- carry her corpse everywhere. They're going on vacation, after all.

HE'S HIDING HER BEHIND A WALL!?!?! BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

*Grumbles* Piece of shit still looks cute in a bowtie.

The cutout of her face is hilarious. You can't tell me they didn't do that for a laugh.

'Nobody will think of looking for you in the house' AND WHEN SHE STARTS TO SMELL?! WHAT THEN!?!?!

I guess you could say that the call was coming from inside the house? Eh?

OH CAT VISION THE BITCH IS BACK

So, the student that looks like a child is Christian. I'm still convinced this fucker's in high school, or he's just got a baby face.

Okay, I don't like the little twerp, I'm biased against him, but like, acting all cocky, like a know-it-all going, 'That's strange. Well, you think if she'd have gone on tour, she would have taken her violin.' And then Rod calmly replying 'She has two' I actually cackled.

God, Gloria looks horrified to know she's friends with a woman who was living with her boyfriend, not her husband, like they're shacked up in sin.

Look, Christian, you're right, but I don't like you. Fuck off.

The hole starting to form, bringing something into the light, as Rod slinks off into darkness- I LOVE MOVIES, OKAY!?

Oh, I see, it's a symbol. Neat.

Wasn't the phone just unplugged? Did they force him to plug it back in when I wasn't looking?

OKAY. LISTEN.

WHEN THE LADY FROM THE BAR SAID 'IT'S DESTINY' THE CC READ RIGHT AFTER 'SHE'S PREGNANT' BUT I DIDN'T HEAR SHIT. I THOUGHT IT WAS A GLITCH

THIS IS FUCKING NASTY/GREAT

Not to help the animal abuser/girlfriend beater, but don't you have a knife, buddy? To cut off the dead weight? I know fear makes us stupid, but um

AH FUCK HE DIDN'T HANG IN THE STAIRWELL

Thank you movie, for that Humane Society seal of approval. Like, the cat was so obviously not being tortured, just a little squished, but it is still nice to see.

Trust Dario Argento to pick out a catchy soundtrack.

This movie got batshit crazy by the end. I definitely prefer the second movie to the first, but both are good. *jams out to 'woman singing in Italian'*

#potential live watch? #harvey keitel #george a romero #dario argento #Two Evil Eyes #tw animal abuse #tw domestic violence #edgar allen poe #removing streaming mentions #either google where to watch or go to your local library

[echomimus]

soup

#the arcana #the arcana game #valdemar #the arcana mc #the arcana fanart #the arcana apprentice #yes i want to fuck valdemar #do not look at me #look at the soup #i just want to go to bed

[needybabytrashbeans]

Valdemar x GN!Reader + Note

Alright so I'm bored so I'll be writing little snippets of things I think about. No, I'm not taking requests. Ask are open but this account is still for commissions this is just me breaking these same rules just a little bit in order to not be bored.

Anyway, I'm taking precautions so IF YOU ARE UNDER 18+ OR DONT HAVE AN AGE IN YOUR BIO, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. That means in any situation too. If you reblog and don't have an age in your bio I will know, same for if you simply like. Bonus points if you reblog without tagging me which I wish more of you would listen to when a writer tells you to.. This isn't my first warning but hopefully it's my last.

Scenario: As Valdemar's lover you offer to help them during the heating cycle because yes, here's another post on Val in heat since I'm obsessed uwu. (Might write them as a sub if I do anymore)

Includes: Overstimulation, breeding kink, biting, slight choking, tentacle, dirty talk, feminine organs, they/them pronouns

Valdemar in heat is so interesting. It's not like they push you to fuck, no, if anything they try keeping a distance from you simply because of their situation.

When you find out the issue is that Quaestor Valdemar is in heat you approach them because how come they hadn't told you?

The conversation is short, they explain all too quickly what it is and what's wrong with them but you almost seem to stand there like your confused.

They hadn't had a partners in who knows how long and now they were trying to resist you, for your own safety. Not on your watch.

You persist that you can help. You can relieve them from the heat and Valdemar practically twitches in their shoes because though they don't want to hurt you you're practically begging to have them use you.

Now with your head pressed against the desk in their office you shake violently and let out a broken cry as another orgasm is taken from you, coating your thighs and their cock with more of your mixed fluids.

Their phallus is heavy, hot, and slimy.. wiggling deep in your womb and so deep that you arch, eyes rolling to the back of your head as they growl, leaning down and kissing your hot throat.

'That's right my dear, take it.. take all of it.. you were practically asking me to fuck you..oh yes.." they groaned and it's literally the hottest thing you've ever heard.

You're soaking wet, with each sloppy thrust you find a pitiful moan to fall from your sweet lips and when they leaned down against you back to give your neck so well deserved bites and sucks you shake all over as the tendril sinks deeper inside you and into your belly.

What number orgasm were you on by now? You had lost count.

Though the burning in your belly tells you there's another orgasm coming and fuck it's hurts but then again it feels so fucking good and you almost feel bad for how hard your gripping the desk.

There's another orgasm, their hands moving down to grip heavily on your waist, holding you so tightly against them as their phallus squirms and twitches inside of you before they blow their heavy load with a heated growl.

Your convulsing, the orgasm that ripped from you this time back you reaching back to press weakly against their thigh but they simply pressed in deeper and you cried out.

There was nothing but panting for a moment as you two tried to gather yourselves. You were so sensitive that your body was still shaking.

Valdemar pulled back a little before turning you over smoothly so you could look back at to your lover and they leaned down to kiss you which was loving, so soft and warm until they began thrusting again, holding your shaky legs open leaving you to submit as their hips slammed back into yours leaving you breathless.

"Once more dear.." the panted as they looked down at your ruined face, the messy hair, the teary eyes, the flushed cheeks.. then there were those puffy wet lips wrapped around there pulsing member and they groaned. "I'm..sorry, I have to keep going.. you feel so good..so wet.." they hiss with each powerful thrust

It's over, then again you had happily offered your assistance. They were your partner, who would you be if you didn't offer yourself up. Then again hopefully you were fine with not working for the next couple of days..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sample post. If you reblog you better have an age in your bio or I'm blocking. You could also tag me, js.

#quaestor valdemar #valdemar x reader #valdemar #the arcana x reader #the arcane game #the arcana #n.sfw #n/sfw text #tw n/sfw #at least praise me when you reblog wtf #commissions open #ask box is open #no requests #no reblobs pls #unless asked

[alchimistadivezuvia]

MC: Why do you burn corpses?

Valdemar: Because it's expensive to dissolve corpses in acid, and firewood is cheap.

MC: I always dreamed of dying that way. And the ashes to be scattered in the wind! I don't want to rot in the ground!

Valdemar: Yes, rotting in the ground is at least dangerous. Necrophiles, necrophages or worse necromancers...

MC: That's a good point too.

Valdemar: Necromancers are the worst, by the way. It's one thing if you get eaten or fucked after death, but making someone live and work after death is too much.

#The arcana game #The arcana #arcana game #Arcana #the arcana #valdemar x mc #valdemar x apprentice #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #julian devorak #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana

[star-anise]

all your Valdemar meta reminded me, did you hear that they're making a Vanyel movie? my angsty son in all his hot mess glory on the big screen!

Haha yes I heard! It's what made me think about it again. Apparently they want to do a TV series, and Vanyel's trilogy will be the first season?

I don't think Valdemar's perfect, but you know what, neither is Game of Thrones or Wheel of Time, so why the fuck should we dither about a female-written series with positive LGBTQ+ rep? Let's not hold minoritized fiction to higher standards than Rapey McDudebro or Mr. "All My Female Characters Have Exactly the Same Character Traits"

Valdemar's only been optioned, though. Being a longtime Tamora Pierce fan, I'm acutely aware that a series can be optioned with nary an adaptation in sight for... at least two decades now. (Yes, I know we're closer than we used to be!)

So far as I understand: Buying the option just means that Mercedes Lackey promised not to sell the adaptation rights to anybody else. The project has a production studio and a couple executive producers attached, but they do not have the money to make a TV show with, or a place to air it when it's done. So that's their next step—they have to pitch their project to various TV networks like HBO and Netflix, who will decide if they have a slot in their programming for a show like this. That's why they put out a press release about the option—to generate buzz and make themselves look like a good investment.

Then, when the studio says "okay, we'll take it, have a budget," they can begin to actually prepare for the show. So I invite you to Book Fandom Adaptation Watch, which is kind of like people who watch the livestream of extremely slow-moving bitumen that drops a piece off every half-century or so but it's possible that if you look away you'll miss it.

So yeah an adaptation might happen within the next decade! Would be cool! Hope springs eternal!

#staranise original #valdemar revisited #heralds of valdemar

[nicadilly]

what are your opinions on the other courtiers? (esp volta)

Omg thank you for the ask, ill do my best nons. Some of these come easier than others, and im fully aware my takes might be weird/unpopular but as long as im having a blast i think its fine. And im just riffing btw, not following any specific format:

Volta

She celebrates not getting kicked or pushed by anyone... I feel like that's pretty telling of her being a very punished/tragic character. But she also disrespects Vulgora and fights them back, so she can’t be completely helpless. I personally adore the idea of Volta being like a mongoose - will destroy you given the chance (literally. Super potent digestive juices? corrosive saliva? Teeth that never seem to end when you look into her mouth? All checked in my book. I'm thinking Pennywise's mouth from “IT” remakes or a sea turtle's mouth)

And YEAH she could mess up Valdemar, controversial opinion ik. They just get sucked in like spaghetti and DIE knowing the “weakest” of the demons was a herald of their demise >:)

Vlastomil

Basically always snooty and prone to blaming others for everything wrong in his life. Even when he’s hyping about the study of invertebrates, he manages to shade you and be patronizing... At the same time though, he is very zesty. Fun conversation partner and the best associate if you manage to get in his good graces. I also hc him to have ambiguous genitalia, and YES if you cut him in half there will be two Vlastomils :) just like earthworms. Overall a lot of cool wormy features that people pick up on overtime. I feel like some will disagree but I always saw him as a “chaotic neutral” kind of char. Should be evil, yes. But he’s just too fun and lovable imo. Like a snarky professor you weirdly like and respect. He’s also a bottom on a mission. Get it peepaw.

Vulgora

DEVS. DID. VULGORA. DIRTY. And I, for one, love it. No matter how you look at their patron arcana - Vulgora is fucked. If it was always their patron, I don't blame them for making a pact with the devil. Trying to avoid great pain, upheaval and loss seems natural. They are the courtier I would want to get lore on THE MOST. I want to know how their life was before “the demoning” sooo bad. As for their disposition - fun. Frenemies with Lucio, threatens Valdemar, doesn't realize they’re always screaming... just a fun little dude (gnc). I mentioned before that I defo see them doing public beheadings, ancient rome style (they’re the leader of the guard, a high ranking noble... they probably are doing it and its legal). As I said. Fun.

Also they hold the highest score in the game of “push Volta off the stairs”. Valdemar comes in 2nd.

Valerius

I honestly don't feel like I can do Val justice. That's all on @c0nsul-valerius. I will try tho! He’s always been torn between actually wanting to do good and upholding his own reputation/pride no matter the cost. The moment his rep is on the line, everything gets sidelined; relationships, acquaintances, morals. It’s delicious how he’s fleshed out in Nadia's route, just that one encounter, seeing how warped and disgusting he became, how ashamed of it all he is - i really want to see that vulnerability again, get to “crack him open” in a way and see how he would be when there's no obligations, work, or masks being put on for the public.

Valdemar

I have... too many hc’s and theories. I would love to overshare in the future! For this post though I'll try to keep it brief. I think people give Valdemar TOO MUCH CREDIT. An amnesiac apprentice, fresh out of the nest manages to kick their pathetic concave ass time and again. And while the apprentice is made to be OP in game, one would think an ancient demon, capable of raising cities, fallen armies and planning to challenge the devil would easily handle an inexperienced magician (and a redhead armed with a chair) but instead they always abscond. Sure, it could be them just going “LOL” and running off to irk people, but Lucio and Julian routes show them to be rattled by getting SLIGHTLY CHAFED. WIMPDEMAR REAL, DESERVES TO BE JOSTLED. They are on the spectrum and mask it so-so, loves a good stimmy. ALSO - MASSIVE HYPOCHONDRIAC, even tho they cant really get sick anymore. Obsessed with disinfecting everything and everyone.

#the arcana hc #arcana imagines #the arcana courtiers #the arcana #the arcana game #hcs #the courtiers #procurator volta #pontifex vulgora #praetor vlastomil #consul valerius #quaestor valdemar #remembering that post abt valdemar being dumb as rocks #im in that team #punished valdemar fandom #if anyone wants to break every single bone in their plank body hey #shake my gnarled witch hand

[arsenicxarcana]

idk what this is but it’s your problem now

lucio, rounding up all the courtiers except valerius: Ok which of you chucklefucks wants to make another deal

vlastomil, getting real fed up with his nonsense even if its good for the boss: ... that depends on what it's for

lucio: I want a big fat ass

lucio: I want the biggest, juiciest ass imaginable - my ass, before anyone gets smart and offers me a fucking donkey

vulgora: (disappointed finger snap)

lucio: I want to be double- no, triple cheeked up. I want peasants to quiver in fear when they behold my voluptuous ass. I want to look like that one statue of perseus but prettier

(vlastomil: it doesn't really look like that

lucio: yes it does)

lucio: so who's gonna give me the multi tiered cake I deserve? volta? you like cake

lucio: ... wait no you'll try to eat it

volta, not paying attention at all: ???

vlastomil: I'll do it on the condition that you never use a number of phrases you just said to refer to your ass ever again

vulgora: I'll do it but only if you keep saying that shit

lucio: sold to the beetle in the front

vlastomil: curses

valdemar: .....you realize you could just have it magically augmented without our help

lucio: shut up daddy needs his jelly

#the arcana #lucio #courtiers #shitpost #citrus flavored #i may draw this is why it exists #but until then