Whatever you do, donโt think about what would happen when Neil finally reaches his breaking point. Whether it was triggered by another huge thing or it was just the last little push that sent him over the edge. Donโt think about how heโd freeze for a minute or two or three and then just run for it. Donโt think about how heโd barricade himself in his dorm room and shove shit in his bag while the foxes bang on the door.
Definitely donโt think about Andrew silently freaking out because thatโs Neil. Thatโs his Neil and heโs hurting and what the hell is he supposed to do now.ย
Donโt think about Neil finally opening the door, bag over his shoulder and ready to fight his way out of Fox tower because he has to go, he has to get out now.ย Donโt think about how he was met with nine terrified faces, because of course Wymack got his ass there as soon as he heard and even Aaron didnโt want Neil to leave.ย
Whatever you do, donโt think about all the fight in Neil going out. Donโt think about him breaking down all at once, crying for the first time in years. Donโt think about him sobbing so hard that he canโt stay on his feet so Dan shoves everyone out of the way to get Neil to the couch.
Donโt think about Andrew off to the side, watching it all with that mask of indifference on but losing his mind because Neil promised. He promised he wouldnโt run anymore. And god, he should be there. He should be helping but he canโt move and he canโt speak and the Foxes keep throwing him looks because he should be doing what Danโs doing and they all know it.
Donโt think about how, when Neil finally calms down, Wymack ushers everyone but him and Andrew out of the room. Donโt think about how Andrew moves as soon as the door is shut and lets Neil lay down with his head in his lap. Donโt think about how Andrew couldnโt speak, but runs his fingers through Neils hair and listens to the love of his life whisper I just donโt want to be here anymore. I donโt want to hurt anyone else over and over and eventually hearing his breath even out.
Donโt think about how, once Neilโs asleep, the Foxes come back into the room because none of them want to be alone right now. Donโt think about how they all sleep on the floor again, just like after Baltimore.
Donโt think about how Neil woke up the next morning and saw his family there, because no matter what he does theyโll always be there for him.ย
Donโt think about how he thought he was the first one awake, but Andrew stayed up all night, never taking his eyes off of Neil.
No matter what you do, donโt think about how, after that, Neil never feels the urge to run that strongly again.
Donโt think about how he may still check his fingernails for blood, and he may still flinch away from his reflection sometimes, but he never tries to disappear.ย
The most upsetting thing I just realize is that if Riko and Mari lived, Riko would eventually have to lose Mari from the curse of the mark. So she has to witness her only alive sibling dying during or after the age of 25.
I am not sure why you think the things Louis has said about the band breaking up doesnโt make sense. If you ignore Larry and assume what people have said is true, it makes sense to me. You get Harry asking for a break at the end of 2014. A decision to release their last album but not tour it in 2015. โPeopleโ (probably Harry) not wanting to sign contracts. Presumably either to tour at a later date or to record, it doesnโt really matter which.
Zayn and Louis had the same information but reacted to it differently. Zayn, who had an expectation that he would be well received as a solo artist, saw โpeopleโ not wanting to re-sign as the end of the band and decided to leave early to get an early start to a solo career. Louis, who has no expectation of a performing career outside the band, was in denial. He said he saw Zayn leaving 6 months later as the beginning of the end. I donโt think Louis was lying about those conversations hitting him hard. You can see he was under stress at the end of 2014 by looking at pictures of him from that time.
You were right that we cannot know who knew what and when. At the same time, Zayn basing his actions on assumptions suggests โpeopleโ were not being forthright about their plans.
Itโs not like Harry did anything wrong by going solo But thereโs so much twisting of words and facts to absolve him of the responsibility for making Louis and other people (including fans) unhappy when that isnโt possible. Harry going solo was always going to make people who wanted the band to stay together unhappy as a natural consequence. Harryโs decision doesnโt need to be defended by dismissing people who were impacted by it.
I've been reasonably clear about what I think doesn't make sense about the way Louis talks about 1D breaking up. He runs together his experience of the decision that the band were not going to tour and his experience when touring stopped. Often when he talks it's not clear which one he is talking about - even though they were probably separated by more than a year and quite a lot happened in between. I think it's a perfectly normal way for him to talk about his life, but I do think there are huge pieces missing.
There are things I'd like to know his perspective on for example, did he really think that 1D was capable of keeping on touring by the end of 2015? Lima wasn't in very good shape and wasn't doing well with touring.
Then you have Louis saying Zayn leaving was the beginning of the end - but the question of not touring in 2016 had already been raised and probably decided.
Then you have Zayn saying that papers weren't being signed - I'm interested in what those papers could be? Was it around touring? Was there a period of not signing before Harry actually brought it up (that wouldn't surprise me). Or were these papers eventually signed (like the UK dates for 2015).
It's because I'm interested in the details of what happened when that I notice when there's questions about what people are actually talking about. I think they're all saying things that are emotionally true, but they're also both consciously leaving elements out, and also not that clear on the timeline (because that's how we remember our lives)
You may see this through absolving Harry or not - but that's not the framework I'm working under. None of this makes any difference to how I see Harry's actions (I think it's really important that people are able to leave jobs).
Crowley turned around in the chair, resting his head on the back, now facing the grizzled Ranger. Halt was currently flicking through files, and for a few moments, the shuffling of papers were the only noise in his office.
โIs there something you want to say?โ Halt asked mildly, not looking at him.
Crowley snorted. โSomething?โ he repeated. โOh, I donโt know, perhaps? Your majesty,โ he added. The younger man snapped his head up, eyes narrowing. โArenโt you going to say anything? You were a prince of Clonmel and you never told us?โ
โI had my reasons.โ A million questions crowded his mind, and he had no idea where to start.
โWhich wereโฆโ He trailed off. Halt was still flipping through the pages, his eyes locked onto the task ahead instead of the person he was speaking to. That was a first, and Crowley pursed his lips as a sudden guilt pricked inside his chest. โThat is, if you want to talk about it,โ he said, turning back around in the chair. โI didnโt mean to pry.โ
Halt didnโt say anything. That wasnโt so odd, but his whole demeanor had changed to something more bitter, something almostโฆsad. And that was certainly unusual for the man.
โFerris was my younger brother.โ Halt spoke at last. Crowley looked back, remaining silent. โMy twin.โ
โTwin?โ He broke his vow to not ask questions, and inwardly grimaced.
โYes.โ Halt looked at him again, those dark eyes dulled with something akin to pain. โHe cared about the throne more than he did his own blood. And thatโs why Iโm here.โ
He didnโt say anything else, instead turning his whole body away to hide his face. Crowley watched him for some moments, at a loss for words.
He hadnโt expected the man to be a prince of some foreign land. He hadnโt expected Halt to be a twin. And he hadnโt expected the reasoning as to why heโd left.
โIโฆโ Crowley cleared his throat. โIโm sorry.โ
A shrug. โIt happened a long time ago.โ
โI know. But Iโm sorry, anyways.โ No reply, and he knew the conversation was coming to a close. โIf it helps any, Iโm glad youโre here with us instead.โ
โReally?โ A sardonic tone laced his words. โAnd youโre speaking from the heart, are you?โ
Crowley chuckled. โTake it however you think.โ He stood, and laid a land on the younger Ranger. โBut I stand by my words.โ