#you have to take your gloves of in order to take photos XD

[kaddyssammlung]

#It is sooooooooooooooooooo cold right now -14°C #but I decided to take photos anyway.....my fingers felt like they were going to fall off....... #you have to take your gloves of in order to take photos XD #damn sooooo cold #sunrise photography #photography #my photography #my photos #pastel colors #pastel sky #pastel aesthetic #icy morning #snow photography #winter photography

[reikoackerman]

Happy Birthday, Rei

Characters: Levi x Rei (Me)

Genre: Modern!au

Warnings: Smut. Yes I've gone overboard and delusional. Soft birthday sex (I'm w e a k). Extremely extremely EXTREMELY self-indulgent and probably very cringy. Also this isn't following any specific time line. The four kids aren't here xD

Word count: 4.7k (yes I am that crazy, forgive me)

A/N: Yes you all it's my birthday so let me fantasise about having a soft session of making love with Levi okay????? Also @mrscommandersmith and @hashaneeee I only have you two to blame for making me write this extremely embarrassing and indulgent thing. Also, Levi's outfit is inspired by this amazing fanart <3

Also there's a few songs I listened on repeat while brewing this smut lmao so uhh; Versace on the Floor - Bruno Mars // Be Your Everything - Boys Like Girls // Baby Good Night - GD&TOP // I'll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men // A.D.T.O.Y.(하.니.뿐.) - 2PM // You're My - Taeyang // Lullaby - BEAST

Today was the third of March, and also my birthday. 

Levi booked a suite in a fancy five-star hotel for the occasion even though I told him not to. I wanted to scold him for splurging on unnecessary things, but Levi said he wanted to pamper me since it was my birthday. I relented and eventually, we packed our bags for a short staycation at the hotel. 

We had breakfast in the hotel and set off to our first destination. Levi brought me flower viewing at the botanic garden. It was springtime and the flowers were all in bloom. We took lots of amazing photos and also had people take photos for us. We also had our photos taken and developed by their souvenir stand, and Levi bought them at the counter. He bought a photo frame to place in our room, and another in the shape of a crystal ball for his desk. We had lunch at the nearby mall and caught a movie too. We also had dessert at the ice cream parlour where I wanted to have waffles and ice cream. I asked Levi where my birthday cake was and he kept saying ‘later’.

For my birthday dinner, Levi brought me out for steak. I wore a sapphire halter neck dress that accentuated my shoulders, bringing along a light grey scarf. I tied my hair into a low ponytail while he styled his fringe up. Levi wore a charcoal grey three-piece suit and he wore a black necktie too. Levi even wore a long black coat even though it wasn’t that cold outside. Who was he trying to look good for? I frowned. 

“Really, amour. Leather gloves?” I cocked my eyebrow as I finished applying my mascara. 

“It’s unsanitary outside,” Levi simply said as he styled his hair into a messy backcomb. As I put on my lipstick, Levi was already wearing his socks. “You should bring your leather jacket, you know. Then you can match me.” Levi told me as he slipped on his polished shoes. 

“Fine, fine.” I rolled my eyes and laughed as I went to find a jacket instead since Levi did say the restaurant was cold. When we reached the restaurant, Levi suddenly took out a stalk of red rose from nowhere and gave it to me. I bit my lip and smiled at Levi shyly, suddenly feeling weak in the knees. 

“Is that why you’re wearing that coat when you obviously don’t need it?” I chuckled as Levi pulled out the seat for me. Levi merely shrugged and told me to order my food. 

We had a splendid dinner, the view from the restaurant was astounding. We had a panoramic view of the city and the night lights were stunning. The food and ambience were fantastic too, Levi’s ribeye was cooked to perfection and my striploin was tender and fragrant. The wine that the sommelier picked for us complimented our meals as well. Tchaikovsky's Rêverie du soir in G minor played in the background by a live pianist. I caught Levi looking at me while I was having my food, and when he realised it, he winked at me instead. I felt my heart leap to my throat, feeling utterly surprised by Levi’s act.

My second surprise came in the form of a blackforest cake which was my absolute favourite. Levi then said he was saving the best for the last. Just as I thought the day couldn’t be more perfect, Levi brought me to the rooftop garden of the hotel to stargaze. From high up, the stars seemed so close and within our reach. The cloudless sky was littered with countless stars, and the absence of the moon made the stars sparkle brighter.

“So beautiful.” I muttered, unable to take my eyes off the scenic view. The more I look, the more stars I see. They seemed impossible to count. Levi was silent, his eyes were dazed. Hugging my waist, he looked at me with a smile on his face. 

“You’re more beautiful, mon cœur.” Levi softly said. I felt my heart throbbing and heat crept up my cheeks. It was a good thing the surrounding was dim because I know how bad of a blushing mess I have become.

“W-what?”

“Tch, you've been with me for so long. Can’t take a little praise?” Levi teased, placing his hand behind the small of my back. He guided me to the lift. Looks like we’re going back to our suite.

“N-no, it’s… unexpected.” The lift door opened and we stepped in, pressing the button for the 50th floor. Once we reached, we slowly walked back and Levi opened the door to our suite. 

“Then maybe I should praise you more.” Levi whispered into my ear and I felt my heart leap to my throat again. Why does he keep saying things like this? We removed our shoes and Levi handed over his coat to me and disappeared somewhere while I went to pour two glasses of water from the kettle. Returning back to our bedroom, I hung up his coat and my jacket, sat by the dressing table and removed my earrings. I wanted to unzip my dress but it got stuck with the hair on my nape. 

“Amour,” I called out. He was still nowhere in sight. Weird. He wasn’t in the bathroom either. “Amour? Levi?” I called his name again, walking to the bedroom door. 

“Happy birthday, Rei.” Levi appeared in front of me with a bouquet of sunflowers so huge it looked bigger than Levi himself. I was pleasantly stunned, unsure of how to react. They were my favourite flower. I gladly accepted the bouquet, looking up at Levi. He told me to stand by the window of the balcony so that he could take a photo of me with the bouquet. 

“How did you hide them? They’re so huge.” I had to hug the bouquet with both hands while I stood by the windows. Levi merely shrugged and told me to smile. 

“Come here, amour.” I urged him to come over and take some photos with me. It was hard capturing nice photos because the bouquet was too big and occupied most of the space in the photo. It was hilarious, seeing Levi and me looking so tiny next to the bouquet. Placing the bouquet down on a small sofa, Levi stood by the table looking like he had a lot to say. He took a remote control on the table and pressed some buttons. Just then, the curtains in the room closed, and the lights dimmed. 

“I-I didn’t know what to get you,” Levi stuttered, sticking one hand into his pocket and the other hand loosening his tie, “it feels like you already have everything and anything, and you’re lacking nothing in your life.” I closed the distance between us, staring deep into his steely grey eyes. 

“The reason why I have everything and anything is that I have you. You’re my everything, Levi, and I’m nothing without you.” I held his hand and gave him a smile. “You don’t have to get me anything, because you’re all I need.” It sounded cheesy, but it’s the truth. Levi completes me and he’s all that I can ever ask for. Levi took a step closer and now we’re standing almost face to face. Excitement bubbled deep inside me, anticipating what Levi would say and do next.

“Instead of giving you something tangible, I’ve decided to give you a memory instead,” Levi raised his hand and stroked my hair, using the same hand to softly cup my cheek, “a memory of us that you will never forget.” With that, Levi gently pulled me closer to give me a tender kiss on my lips. One hand remained on my cheek while Levi’s other hand wrapped around my waist to pull me closer to him. My hands snaked up Levi’s chest, interlocking behind his neck and pulling him even closer. Levi’s tongue prodded against my lip and I gladly welcomed him, our tongues dancing together in perfect harmony. The room was silent except for the sound of our wet kisses and heavy breathing. It was starting to get cold, but Levi felt so warm and too hot for comfort. Levi’s hand on my waist started going higher and higher up my back. He tugged on the elastic band on my hair, letting it cascade down my back. As he slowly pulled my zipper down, I removed Levi’s jacket, contemplating if I should drop it on the floor. 

“Leave it.” Levi muttered next to my ear. I dropped his jacket and started unbuttoning his vest to throw it on the floor as well.

“Why did you have to wear so many layers?” I complained as I removed Levi’s necktie, letting it join the pile of clothes on the floor. Levi pulled me in for another passionate kiss, prying my dress off my shoulders and letting it fall on the ground. 

“Hm, so that you can have fun undressing me.” Muttering against my lips, we briefly disconnected from our kiss to look at each other. 

Levi had red smudges on his lips from my lipstick, and his cheeks were flushed. We’ve only been kissing for what felt like five minutes but those kisses got me panting for breath. Stepping out of my dress, our eyes locked on each other as I unbuttoned Levi’s shirt slowly, tracing his muscles with my finger. Levi cupped my cheek and kissed me harder, moaning into the kiss as I locked my arms behind his neck and jumped on him, interlocking my ankles behind his back. Levi walked towards the mattress and put me down gently, throwing his shirt somewhere. 

“So beautiful,” Levi muttered as he trapped me with his body, his hands grabbing mine and keeping them above my head, “and all mine.” Leaning his forehead against mine, our lips met again in another urgent kiss. I rubbed my thighs together, squirming around to dissipate the wetness gathering around my core.

Levi broke the kiss and peppered kisses to my neck, nuzzling his head between my nape and shoulder. Pressing a kiss beneath my ear, I let out a soft moan as I tilted my head to give Levi more access. Levi released my hands and caressed my cheek while he nibbled on my neck and continued to kiss me slowly and sensually down my clothed chest. Levi bit and gently sucked on the skin above my left breast, leaving a hickey right where my heart would be. Crying out a small whine of delight, I squirmed again and my knee brushed against Levi’s crotch. 

“Arch your back for me, baby.” Levi coaxed as his hands reached to my back. I obediently listened and he swiftly removed my strapless bra, my bare chest in full glory. Kissing his way slowly down my chest, Levi took a hardened nipple in his mouth, teasing the little bud with his tongue. A mewl of pleasure escaped my lips as I gently stroked Levi’s hair, watching him have fun circling my nipple with his tongue. Levi rested his right cheek on my chest and looked up at me. He noticed I was watching him, and Levi stopped everything he was doing to smile at me instead. At that moment when our eyes connected, I felt heat creep up my cheeks again, a sudden wave of bashfulness causing me to bite my lower lip. Levi chucked and latched onto my nipple once more. 

“Ahh! Amour—” my breath got stuck in my throat as Levi sucked on my sensitive nipple, his tongue flicking and circling it non-stop. Levi took his time, using his tongue to slowly play with the nipple in his mouth while the other hand massaged my breast. His fingers gently pinched and tugged at the hardened bud while my fingers now threaded themselves in Levi’s soft ebony hair. Within seconds I became a whining mess, my wet pussy throbbing with want and need. Once he had his fun, Levi released my nipple with a soft ‘pop’ before slowly kissing his way to my other breast, each soft kiss eliciting a moan from my lips. Giving both breasts the attention they deserved, Levi continued to lick and suck on the perky nub, driving my senses up the wall and making me feel closer to my release. I covered my mouth to hide my gradually increasing voice. I didn’t want to ruin the mood with my nasty voice and weird pants. Levi however was thinking otherwise and pulled my hand away.

"Let me hear your voice, mon cœur, don’t hide it from me.” He chimed softly while looking at me. My face flushed red with embarrassment, Levi’s words igniting a burning want in me. I cupped his cheek and I meekly nodded. “I want to hear those beautiful moans coming from your pretty lips.” Levi kissed my palm before going back down on my breast again. 

As he finished lavishing on my chest, Levi kissed his way down my stomach, stopping on top of the waistband of my silk panties. Sitting on the carpeted floor, he eyed me as though he was asking for permission. I lifted my butt from the mattress and Levi swiftly pulled my panties down with his teeth without looking away from me. I swear he needs to stop doing this, for every moment he spends looking at me only makes me want and crave him even more. It left my mouth feeling dry and made my heart tremble. Levi placed both my legs on his shoulders and stroked my thigh, fingertips lightly tracing every mole and scar on my skin. 

Lying on the bed naked and strangely feeling very exposed, I clamped my thighs around Levi’s head as he bit on my inner thigh, feeling me squirm once more. I could feel how wet I was down south, and Levi could definitely see it too. I tried to close my legs out of embarrassment, yet Levi’s hold on my thighs kept them open. Levi sensually kissed my inner thighs from my knee all the way up, not forgetting to leave tiny purple hickeys along the way. As he kissed every inch of skin his lips could reach, I could only pant and moan and let Levi do whatever he wanted to me. I wanted to touch him too, to leave bite marks across his body, to him with my own hands. Yet, all Levi kept saying was that he will take care of me tonight.

“Mmm, I’ll make tonight the best night you can remember.” Levi smiled as he left a featherlight kiss on my clit. I let out a mewl of pleasure as Levi kept kissing my outer lips softly, taking his own sweet time to slowly lick my cunt from the bottom up. I couldn’t control myself any longer. I tried to sound demure to mask my moans. Yet with Levi’s touches and skillful tongue, there was no way I could hold it in. The coil in my belly started tightening and my toes started feeling ticklish. My chest heaved with every breath I took and my moans got louder as time passed. Levi knew how much I loved it when he went down on me like this, and he knew exactly what to do to push me over my limits. 

“That’s it, baby, I wanna hear you out loud.” Levi peeked at me while his lips were still on my cunt doing wonders. His skillful tongue was drawing circles on my clit while he interlocked his fingers with mine, his thumb stroking my knuckles. As Levi continued to suck on my clit, my fingers found their way back to Levi’s hair again. I gently scratched his scalp as he tickled my clit with his tongue, circling and playing with it using his hot muscle. Another dirty moan escaped my lips as Levi licked up and down my cunt once more. Levi hummed against my soaking entrance, pleased with what he felt was music to his ears. Levi’s hands were on my hips holding me down while his tongue began to circle my clit faster and faster. My moans became sloppier, my breathing became heavier. Likewise, the more incessant my moans were, the faster Levi licked and sucked on my cunt. I couldn’t take it any longer, the pleasure was too good to be true. 

“Amour, I-I’m… g-gonn—” the coil in my belly abruptly snapped and I clamped my thighs around Levi hard, my breathing haggard and eyes shut. Levi gave a satisfied groan as he rubbed his hands up and down my thigh and slowly went to cup my butt and lift my hip higher, drinking up all I had to offer. All that clouded my mind was how dizzy I felt, and how Levi made loud slurping noises as he lapped up my essence. As I slowly came down from my high, Levi lowered me back on the mattress and he climbed back up, his body hovering above mine again. We locked eyes and my hand went to cup his cheek. 

Levi’s hair was even messier than before, the remnants of him eating me out were evident on his mouth and chin as well. His face was red and sweaty and the dim lights in our room gently illuminated his features. His steely grey eyes which were usually cold and stoic looked at me with so much love and adoration. I stroked his nose bridge with my finger and swiped my thumb across his lips. I don’t know why I had a sudden urge to kiss him. I swiftly pulled Levi down and met him halfway, a moan escaping my mouth each time our tongues intertwined. All I could hear was the sound of our wet kisses, the loud beating of my heart, and the sound of Levi removing his belt. Pushing myself upwards, my hands went to Levi’s belt and I unbuckled it instead. 

“Let me.” I whispered as I removed his belt, unzipping his pants and pulling it off him. Levi removed them and kicked them off, clad in the boxers I bought him for his birthday. I opened my arms and pulled Levi back to the mattress. For some reason Levi started to tickle me before I could kiss him, his fingers kept attacking my waist and he nuzzled his head near my neck, letting out hot breaths on my skin. Levi tried to nibble my earlobe but I quickly pushed him away, rolling on the mattress to escape his clutches. 

“Stop it, amour! No!” I squealed as I jumped off the mattress, running around the bedroom. Levi was a lot faster than I was and he swiftly rugby tackled me on the mattress once more, trapping me beneath him and mercilessly tickling me all over. I laughed out loud, begging Levi to stop torturing me through my endless giggles. Levi seemed to be having fun because he decided to not only tickle my waist but also blow raspberries on my neck too. I was a laughing fit, unable to control my spasms and movements. While laughing, I accidentally kneed Levi loudly in the stomach and he collapsed on top of me with a loud grunt. 

“Levi!!! Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry amour, I-I didn’t do it on purpose—” I tried to push him up but his body was like a dead weight on me. “Amour…?” I tapped on his arm only for him to look up at me again with his chin in between my cleavage. “Are you okay?”

“You know, Rei, you have a really lovely smile and a beautiful laugh.” Levi scooted closer to me and his face was just inches away from mine. I was flabbergasted, why was Levi praising me out of nowhere again? Levi picked up a few strands of my hair and twirled it around his finger lazily, ignoring the confused look on my face. “You always try to hide your laughter because you told me you sound like a bird cawing but I beg to differ.” Levi pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, the tip of my nose, and even under my jaw. That simple gesture made my lower lip quiver and my words got stuck in my throat as Levi sucked on the skin on my neck, whispering sweet nothings next to my ear while removing his boxers. 

“I love your eyes. They’re full of vigour and life, and I love staring into them,” Levi kissed my eyelids as he grabbed his shaft and tugged it up and down a few times. “I love your cheeks. They always turn into such a lovely shade of red whenever you’re embarrassed or flustered,” Levi stroked my cheek with his free hand while the other was busy prodding my entrance with his dick. I could feel tears welling up and threatening to spill the more Levi continued to praise me. Without breaking eye contact, Levi entered me slowly while pushing my knees to my chest. 

“But the biggest thing I love about you most is your heart, because of all the men in the world you could have chosen, you fell in love with me.” Levi captured my lips in another passionate kiss and I eagerly kissed him back, my hands cupping Levi’s cheeks as he continued to thrust into me at a slow, loving pace. Levi rolled his hip gracefully into me as I weaved my fingers through his hair again, feeling absolutely pampered and loved with his gentle movements. We continued kissing each other, Levi’s breath still had hints of the wine we had for dinner. Breaking the kiss to catch our breaths, I laced my hands behind Levi’s neck as he stared at me again. 

“Why do you keep looking at me tonight, amour?” I questioned him before I knew it. It’s not like I dislike it, but Levi has been staring at me a whole lot and I really wanted to know the reason why. Levi looked at me with a blank look before lowering his gaze, unable to control his laughter. 

“Why can’t I look at you? I’ll stare at you all day if you allow me to.” I can’t believe we’re actually having this conversation while Levi’s dick is still grinding into me, his rhythm comfortable and easy. I looked away pointedly, unable to hide my smile. No matter how long we’ve been together, Levi really never fails to surprise and fluster me. 

“Does that answer your question, you silly girl?” Levi playfully tapped my nose and kissed me once more. Levi’s pace on my cunt was slowly building up in me and fuelling my need. I reached my finger to my clit and circled it, moaning into our kiss. Levi broke the kiss and looked at me again. 

“Besides, I want to look at your beautiful face while we’re making love,” Levi pressed our foreheads together and cupped my cheeks, “let me look at your face while I stuff you full of my cum.” At that moment, Levi looked at me like I was the most precious thing in the world. His touches were so delicate and his movements were so graceful. Levi sucked on my nipple once more while I continued to finger myself, feeling my euphoria coming soon. I kept whining and panting, feeling nothing but pleasure and Levi’s dick softly thrusting in me. My toes started to curl, my body started to spasm. Levi sang praises next to my ear and there was only one thing on my mind: Love. 

From the day we met until now, Levi never stopped showing his love for me, be it a simple gesture like holding my hand while we were walking, or pampering me with hugs and kisses. Levi was never good at showing people his emotions. Yet with me, Levi always expressed his feelings whenever he could. Tears started forming in my eyes again when I think about how lucky I am to have someone like Levi in my life. 

“I love you, Levi.” I blurted out, sensing my orgasm approaching. I quickly blinked my tears away as Levi kissed my cheek. I didn’t want him to see me cry. My finger quickened its pace on my clit while Levi continued to thrust into me slowly, his dick brushing past my sweet spot. I bit my lip again, trying to muffle my moans. My other hand wrapped around Levi’s sturdy back, my fingernails leaving their mark all over his alabaster skin. Levi kissed me again and again, dragging his wet and swollen lips across my jaw. 

“Don’t hold back, baby. Let me hear you.” With that, I let out a loud cry and hugged Levi close to me, my hips involuntarily grinding Levi and my walls clenching tight around his dick. Levi continued to pant and grunt as he rolled his hips chasing after his own high. Moments later, Levi let out a gasp as he collapsed on me, panting loudly as I felt his dick throb inside me. I felt so warm inside out. We stayed like this for a while. No words exchanged, just Levi and I with our sweaty bodies and synchronised heartbeats. 

“I love you too, Rei,” Levi swept my fringe out of my eye and smiled at me, “more than you ever know.” I gazed at Levi lovingly while he cradled my body and held me up tightly, making sure not to let even a tiny drop of cum land on the sheets. Locking my ankles behind his back, I latched onto Levi like a koala bear hugging a tree. Levi walked us to the bathroom and set me down in the jacuzzi, filling it with water and switching it on. Levi lit a candle and told me he’ll be back after a while. I sank lower into the warm water as Levi wore a bathrobe and went out. 

I closed my eyes and was nearly dozing off when I heard Levi singing me a birthday song. When my eyes opened, Levi was holding on to another slice of black forest cake, two champagne flutes and a bottle of champagne. I quickly made a wish and blew out the candles. Levi threw the candle away and removed his bathrobe. Popping the bottle of champagne, Levi joined me in the jacuzzi as he filled both our flutes. Levi handed me one and offered me a toast. 

“Happy birthday, mon cœur,” our glasses clanged as we both took a sip, “I hope you like your present.” I beamed at Levi and cuddled close to him, laying down on his chest. 

“I love it, amour. Thank you. I’ll burn this memory into my brain and bring it to my grave.” Levi had an arm draped across my shoulder, fingers gently stroking my arm. Laying on Levi’s chest and listening to his strong heartbeat lulled me to sleep. 

“Hey, wake up. You still have your cake to eat.” Levi tapped me suddenly and I rubbed my eyes sleepily. 

“Can’t I have it for breakfast tomorrow?” I whined, snuggling closer to him. Levi chuckled and pushed me up again. 

“Your birthday cake is to be eaten on your birthday.” Levi took the plate and fed me a small slice of cake. I hummed in delight and urged Levi to have a few bites too. We finished the cake and our champagne, and it was time to get out of the jacuzzi to take a proper shower. We then brushed our teeth and took turns blow-drying each other’s hair. While I was doing my skincare routine, Levi went to wash the flutes and plates. Levi came back and fluffed the pillows, lying in bed while waiting for me. I joined him in bed when I was done, switching off all the lights and taking off my silk robe.

“What did you wish for?” Levi hugged me close, kissing my temple. I stuck out my tongue before realising that Levi probably can’t see what I was doing. 

“I'm not telling you, Levi. If I tell you what my wish was, then it won’t come true.”

“That’s a whole load of baloney.” Levi complained as he pulled the comforter higher. Pulling me close, my back was snug against his bare chest. Levi’s arms wrapped themselves around my waist while I interlock my fingers with his.

“Bonne nuit, mon cœur,” as Levi pressed a kiss to my shoulder. I hummed a soft “bonne nuit, mon amour” as we closed our eyes, letting the sleepiness take over. 

I wish that Levi and I will be happy together until forever ends. 

A/N: I am very sorry for the cringe and how disgusting this is omg. Thank you for reading till the end of this embarrassing writing >\\< just... let me enjoy my birthday fantasy lol kthxbye.

#levi x rei #reivi #self-indulgent writing #Y'ALL LET ME DIG A HOLE AND BURY MYSELF INSIDE OMG

[dorki-c]

The Rising Sun is...

Relationship: Prohero! Izuku Midoriya X Prohero! (Reader)

TW: Implied death, implied harassment, ANGST 

A/n: It feels good to release an Izuku X Reader oneshot THAT ISNT MGD! So I’m hoping everyone is happy as I am XD ANYWAYS!!! ENJOY THE ANGST RIDE!!! :) (I know I will!)

Special mention: @candybabey! The reason why I’m mentioning my sweet Candy is that she came up to me with an idea about doing a Collab piece together about implied deaths and overall helped me get my shit together and not write about mgd for once and shush up about it! BUT AS WELL AS one of her oneshots that she did ALSO really really inspired me to no ends that I spent who knows how much time brainstorming about how I could write this with her! SO THANK YOU CANDY!!!! ILY LOTS! <3

Tap, tap, tappity—tap! Went the loose dribbles of rainwater stuck on white, cheap pipes that crawled the apartment building like a spider going up the water sprout, and out came the rain to wash all it down!

(Though, nothing washes downwards like he did on that fateful day.)

Photo albums never replace the memories you shared with people of the past, so why should you feel jealous that one moment he was physically next to you and the next he was…

Never mind— You don’t need to say the obvious.

It was hard enough to swallow the pill of reality, much less let pain-stricken torment whisper softly “it was your fault” in the front of your mind.

Though as water drips downwards, so does your grip on having stable emotions slip.

(The rising sun is… something you don’t want to describe.)

----------------------------------

Why do people exist?

If it wasn’t for all the hustle and bustle, then it’s the curious glances of “who are they” or “I’ve seen you on television”, but god forbids a soul who mentions that you were his (s/o).

(May the unfortunate travellers, who ask that question, live an eternity in the ninth circle of hell.)

And why do they have to be here, of all places?

This was a place of mourning- for crying out loud!

(Not even the waterproof mascara as black as sin could mask your emotions.)

Tilting your head towards the marble walkway in hopes of ignoring the masses eying your manners, it wasn’t till you placed his favourite flowers on the pristinely marble cut gravestone marked delicately with his name that you almost- just almost- had to raise a black gloved hand to wipe away whatever emotion that was leaking through your eyes.

It seems you needed time to yourself. But you highly doubt anybody would give you the time to mourn.

Hero work was a bitch and paparazzi was the gasoline that fuelled hero work to take a drastic turn.

(The rising sun is now the resting moon.)

--------------------------------

Quiet screams of your world slipping past the same fingertips that were only grazing the surface of earth-bound beliefs, the comfort of lost accommodation dwindled down to enigmatic reasoning to stay in bed a little more.

Curtains pulled strictly towards each other to ignore the warmth of familiar limelight biting the crevasses of a darkened home, it derailed you from reaching out to the bumbling boisterous mobile object interrupting gloomy serenity wrapping itself around every inch of your body.

Which begged the question: why are they interrupting your mourning?

Even if you weren’t bothered about who it was, what you are bothered about is why they are interrupting you.

First it was the paparazzi taking photos of you everywhere you went, then the hero commission just had to host a public funeral, and now calling you on your off time of mourning?

God damnit all to hell!

Why did this have to happen?

Why is the memory photographs reminding you too much of him?

Why was the rising sun symbolically as beautiful as he was?

When it rose from the ashes, the land was sun kissed with a new blessing of hope covered from head to toe of darkened freckles from childhood to patriotic slashes of victory marring hills of muscle built from adolescence, as it graced an otherworldly body to be used as a puppet to fight for what’s right in order to freshly paint the sky a new coat of blue in adulthood.

Why did the rising sun become the resting moon only to haunt the crevasses of your eyes?

(If only we knew the answer to what the rising sun is.)

Tags: 

@candybabey @quietlegends @izukubabe @dragonsdreamoffire @glitterfreezed @tifaswriting @nyanyabisjjj @sweater-weather-seven

#Izuku midoriya mha #Izuku midoriya bnha #Izuku midoriya x y/n #Prohero! Izuku Midoriya X Reader #Prohero! Izuku Midoriya #Prohero! (reader) #Mha X y/n #Mha x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha x reader #mha angst #angst #bnha angst #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku midoriya x you

[gaasaku-fanfests]

Misfits (part 7 & 8)

Title: Misfits Author: clem-chan Rating: T Word Count: 27 388 Summary: Marrying a CEO in the midst of a romantic scandal to pay for med school is not the happy ending Sakura imagined for herself. The arrangement that started as constant bickering soon becomes so much more… If only her husband was hers to fall in love with. GaaSaku. Modern!AU Warnings: There is a light make-out session hence the T rating. There’s also mention of child abuse and childhood trauma. Minor ships: light KankuKiba, very light ShikaTema, mention of NejiTen.

Author’s Note(s): Two little things to mention: First, I wanted to keep this accessible to all, so I have cut out more raunchy scenes which will be posted in the AO3 version of this fic soon. Second, I have this headcannon where Gaara and Sakura are just two misfits. :P So, that’s what this story is about: two misfits forced together. XD Hope you enjoy it! ^_^

Trope: Arranged Marriage

. [warnings are for overall fanfic, not individual parts.]

PART 7

It all went wrong.

Breathlessly, Sakura pulled at her gloves. They snapped. They ripped. They clung to her moist skin. She balled the gloves in a numb fist.

"Call it," her attending said with blanched lips.

It was an unexpected death. A rushed one. An exhausting haunting one that shook the bed with desperate procedures, a cardiac massage that came too late. They had rocked the body in an awkward position to intubate.

The throat had refused the intrusion, the lungs collapsed, the muscles too rigid for it to pass.

The tube now rested on her chest.

"Sakura!" the doctor repeated exasperated. "Call it."

The attending tore her mask from her face and sank down on a stool.

"5:37, patient is dead," Sakura replied coldly, and she exited the room.

No one stopped her.

She jogged, she ran, she walked, pieces of her scattered across the hospital. She was the angry yelling doctor in the ER giving a cardiac massage to a bleeding young woman. She was the nervous doctor counting the litres of blood loss. She was the drained, devastated doctor staring at a cadaver.

5:37.

She tore her scrub from her body in the locker room. Gulps of air jagged inside of her throat, jumbled broken glass from a car crash. She still felt the heartbeat of the woman pulsing on her skin, the breaking of ribs as she pressed her hands to bring back.

To pump blood to the brain.

Crack.

Crack.

Two broken ribs.

Maybe she was broken.

'You don't belong here,' a voice hissed, sweet venom, and she held her head in her hands, ventilating. If not here, where? Where did she belong?

Squared shoulders, was it? Straight back or bent, curled ball of pain? Chin up. What was up? God?

Sakura slammed her locker shut. She kicked toward it, choking on burning tears. Her mind raced through what the procedures, ashen skin turning blue from lack of oxygen.

She closed her eyes.

Where did she go wrong?

-X-

"You're home," Gaara said flatly from the kitchen island, and glanced at his watch. "I was about to order food. What do you want?" He flipped the menu on the other side, his eyes scanning across the other items. "Shrimp?"

She emerged from the entrance silently, her eyes unseeing.

"I'm getting ramen. Miso broth. Pick whatever you want," Gaara frowned, his eyes still running across the choices on the menu. "Hn. Pickled vegetables. Do you want some?"

"Don't talk to me right now," Sakura said and brushed by him.

The stairs didn't creak under her weight.

She was a ghost.

She floated.

She didn't belong.

Gaara watched her disappear, his brows furrowed. He opened his mouth to shout after her, but his phone rang. The name of his grandmother flashed on the screen. He glanced at the staircase one more time, before answering his phone, a low growl building in his chest.

"Obaasan, how are you?"

"Enough with the niceties and barely veiled annoyance."

Gaara grimaced at his grandmother's tone.

"Hn."

"Listen, is Sakura home?"

"Yes."

"Is she alright?"

Gaara cocked his head to the side, squinting at the menu in front of him.

"Hn."

Chiyo sighed.

"You take care of her, Gaara. Is that clear? The first one is always the hardest."

"The first what?"

"First death," Chiyo said irritably. "My first was during the war."

Gaara shifted uneasily. He switched his phone to his other ear. He wondered if she was thinking about them too, the scars on his back, his father's blame for his mother's death. He tapped on finger on the counter, filling the silence.

"Hn."

"It was with your grandfather!"

"What?" Gaara snapped.

Chiyo cackled.

She laughed the same way she did when they went to live with her. She pulled pranks on them. Temari would frown. Gaara wouldn't move. Kankuro... Kankuro was the only one who would laugh.

"We were surrounded by death. No big deal," Chiyo said merrily. "Next time answer your phone properly, or I have other stories..."

"Goodnight, obaasan," Gaara said.

His throat, his chest were tight.

"But I'm not done!" She shouted in a high-pitched voice, and Gaara winced.

"Yes?"

She cleared her throat.

"Yes, obaasan?" he repeated, his jaw clenched.

"Give Sakura a hug, you hear?"

"Yes, obaasan."

"Then give me great-grandchildren," she ordered.

"I-I..."

She laughed hysterically.

"Send me a photo of your face right now!"

"No," he said gruffly.

"Good night, boy!"

"Goodnight, obaasan," Gaara replied dutifully.

When he hung up, his grandmother was still laughing.

Nonchalantly, he let his phone slid down on the counter.

Everything would be different if he had laughed like Kankuro back. Despite the scars, monster spelled across his back. Despite the constant nagging fear that somehow his father would come back.

Gaara turned back toward the staircase, the sound of running water akin to rain dripping on the windows. He was troubled, his body stiffened, and always the sound of his grandmother's laughter barely muffling the sound of death and whipped belt.

Gaara pressed his phone to his ear again, and his finger hovered around Temari's name. Then, scrolled down to Kankuro's phone. He shook his head. They never discussed their father.

He dialled the number of the restaurant.

He glanced at his watch, its ticks offering him a structure that didn't bend with impromptu violence. He ordered food for the two of them, but his dull voice had an edge.

While Gaara waited, he paced in the living room. The sound of water still rustled upstairs. He ran a hand through his hair. He tapped his forehead. Love. He would love no one but himself he had vowed then. He lowered his hands on his hips.

The water still rushed.

After 30 minutes, the food was delivered by a scrawny teenager with widened eyes. He held back his hand with the extra bills in them.

"That much tip? O-san, are you sure?"

"Hn."

Gaara closed the door without answering, and brought the food back to the kitchen. He looked up again at the staircase, the water padding constantly on tiles, a loaded muted sound.

He looked at his watch.

It had been over 43 minutes.

He dashed up the stairs.

He hesitated in front of the bathroom door, his palms moist. He knocked weakly, once.

"Sakura..." Gaara winced at the sound of his voice. "Obaasan called... Can you come out? There's also food."

She didn't answer.

"You need to help me," he muttered dry-mouthed. "I don't know what to do..."

"I can't right now," she whispered.

"You need to tell what's the right thing to do right now," he insisted, his eyes wildly drifting across the hallway, toward their studies, their bedroom. "You're upset. I ordered ice cream... and ramen. Some tempura shrimps..."

The water stopped, and relief flooded through him.

She opened the door, her face drawn. Her wet clothes stuck to her skin, her face blotched, with darkened heavy pink locks irritating the back of her neck.

"I'm fine," she said, her lips barely moving.

"You look horrible."

Sakura made a movement back into the bathroom, but he grabbed her arm. He pulled her to him, one hand on the back of her head, the other still on her arm.

"What are you-" she shouted her voice muffled by his shirt.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Gaara grunted.

Sakura breathed heavily against him, her heart beating violently against his ribcage. Hesitantly, he pressed his cheek to the side of her head. It felt wrong, his too long limbs flailing helplessly around her, her too small frame wetly slipping through him.

Gaara shivered against her, cold, water dripping on the floor.

"I really don't know... what I'm doing," he repeated and his lips brushed against her pink locks.

He released her arm, his arm moving to circle her waist instead.

Her nails dug into him.

'Was that better,' he meant to ask. 'Do we fit now?'

She shuddered.

She exploded.

She cried noisily.

She beat at his chest, and he winced, absorbing the impact. Absorbing her. His arms tightened around her. Now, they fitted; raw angles, and muffled screams. He closed his eyes, fingers holding her skull in place.

When she calmed down, Sakura gently pushed back against his chest. He let her, watching her face, tentatively letting his arms slide to her waist. She looked at his wrinkled and moist shirt.

"Take it off," she muttered tiredly. "I'll wash it with my scrub."

"Don't worry about it," he said and stepped away from her completely letting her go.

"Are you shy right now?" Sakura laughed nervously, and she wiped her face with the back of her hand. "I've just made a complete fool of myself... I've seen a man's chest before, just give me the shirt."

Gaara avoided her stare, he avoided her touch. His sharp features faded into blur lines, absent, distracted tics that reshaped his mouth.

"The food is getting cold," he replied uneasily, and he glanced down at his wet shirt.

"I'm not sure I can eat..." she frowned, and rubbed at her eyelids, pinched the bridge of her noise, until her face felt once more like her own. "You really should let me wash-"

"Let's just eat," he said stiffly and he turned away from her, going down the stairs without a glance back.

Sakura watched the back of his head, petrified, one arm over her chest.

They moved like a pendulum, in and out of reach, little and big hands chasing one another, but only meeting at certain time.

She felt the loss of him, cruelly, her skin still buzzing with his warmth.

She snapped out of it. Out of him, her nails digging into her arms. They didn't even like each other.

"You're always so bossy," she shouted after him.

Gaara snorted.

"You're also bossy," he muttered under his breath.

She followed him, rolling her eyes, her steps heavier, outgrowing the shell, the ghost. Death and its icy fingers.

Squared shoulders, straight back, chin up, she joined him.

-X-

On Saturday, Sakura arrived too early at the restaurant.

Temari briskly dropped her purse on the seat next to her. She inclined her head, as if greeting her, but her smile bit, her eyes sharp with disdain. Sakura bowed her head, her lips pinched and she reached for her glass of water to occupy herself.

"Do you want to be part of this family?" Temari asked softly, and she laced her fingers together on the table, as she leaned back against the chair.

"I am part of this family," Sakura gritted her teeth.

Her gaze flickered across the tables and the entrance looking for Gaara or Shikamaru. She always arrived too early.

"We both know that's not true," Temari smiled, hollow, her lips barely curling, frozen in place.

"What do you want from me?"

Temari sighed and looked away from her. She waved at the waiter and he hurried bringing her the menu.

"Coffee. Bring me rose water too," Temari ordered and she glanced briefly at Sakura. "What about you?"

"I'll have the same," Sakura said coldly, and they glared back at each other.

Once the waiter had gone, Temari inclined her head again as if deep in thought.

"Make him change his mind about the company he's bought before he ruins everything he's built."

"What?" Sakura startled.

"The company he bought..." Temari said slowly as she would to a child. "It's near bankruptcy. Gaara wants to release a new product to save it, but it's still a suicide mission. Convince him to let it go."

Before she could answer, Gaara appeared, and the coffee arrived. Petrified, Sakura watched the waiter poured her coffee from a traditional pot of silver and brass. 'She had planned the perfect moment,' Sakura understood.

Maybe they were two misfits, Gaara and her, she wondered silently watching him.

They were played.

They were forced into place, dolls that needed to conform.

And they had nothing to fill their house.

-X-

After brunch, Sakura and Gaara walked back to his car in silence. The sun scorched the sidewalk, chasing them in reflective windows. Sweat gathered at her temples, but Gaara appeared unfazed by the heat in his suit.

When they reached the car, Sakura turned to him, biting her lip.

"Why do you hate him?"

"Who?" Gaara asked and he unlocked the doors.

"Shikamaru-san," she said and his shoulders tensed.

His palm lightly hit the top of the car, his eyes gleaming, and his face shifted, carved out of shadows. Stubbornly, he stared at her, his lips set in a grim line.

"You like Kiba and he's with one of your siblings' boyfriend too," Sakura added.

"I tolerate Kiba," Gaara said darkly, "because he's not a selfish prick who demands sacrifices from Kankuro."

"It bothers you that she's moving," Sakura said softly.

He nodded stiffly.

"Her place is here with her family, not with his."

"They are each other's family too."

"Blood is thicker than water," Gaara barked. "He's replaceable. We're not."

"Gaara…"

"Let's go," he ordered and he tapped the top of the car with more force.

He opened his car door.

"I liked him," Sakura said, and she didn't move. It was their first real conversation since they got married. She couldn't, she wouldn't let it go. She balled her fists, straighten her back, her gaze frank and unflinching when it found his pale icy one.

"I thought he was smart," she thrusted her chin forward, her jaw locked.

"My sister is smarter than him," Gaara said gruffly.

"Then, you should trust she knows what she's doing," Sakura said patiently.

"I do, but I don't have to like him until she comes to her senses."

"I think she thinks the same as you but about me. She's probably thinking: He'll come to his senses and divorce her."

Sakura bit her below lip. He shifted uneasily, glancing at his watch, even if he didn't work on Saturdays, and he had no schedule to excuse himself.

"She was our mother and our sister at once. Don't mind her. She's overprotective."

"You all are overprotective of each other," Sakura shrugged, and glanced away, holding back her locks from her face as the wind blew sharply.

"They are your siblings too now."

She smiled, crookedly, coldly.

"Don't fake smile at me."

Her smile dropped, disregarded easily.

She balled her fists on her hips, her eyes flashing with anger.

"Then, don't be cheesy," Sakura snapped and pointed at the passenger door. "Your sister says the driver opens that door."

"I'm driving," Gaara frowned. "There's no driver."

"You understood me perfectly."

Sighing, Gaara circled the car and reached past her to open the door. He moved closer to her, and she felt the heat of him, the weight of his stare devouring her flushed face. She gulped. He leaned in, so their faces were on the same level.

"There are times, Sakura... There really are times..." Gaara shook his head, and stepped back. "I wish you'd like me."

Stunned, Sakura remained by the passenger's door. She grazed her burning cheek, clearing her throat, as he slammed the driver's door.

He started the car.

"Are you getting in?" Gaara asked flatly, leaning toward the passenger's seat to look at her.

Sakura nodded rapidly, agitatedly, and climbed up next to him.

***

PART 8

"You did something very unusual by buying this company, Gaara-sama... Rival business groups such as Uchiha Inc has called your move quote unquote: "demented." How do you answer to these comments?"

The camera zoomed in on Gaara's face.

"I would rather be demented than a monster for letting them die."

-X-

The interview had gutted Gaara.

The red light of the camera followed him, blinking behind his eyelids. The same questions had rotated toward him, phrased differently, aimed to make him lose face, say something he shouldn't. It didn't matter that he had a business plan. His actions were still perceived as weak; companies near bankruptcy shouldn't be bought out and saved.

He had only wanted to save a family.

He wanted to be alone.

He didn't want to be alone.

Sakura breathed softly, half-asleep, when Gaara slipped in the room. He blinked, momentarily lost. The bedroom was full of her, the rhythm of her breathing, her floral scent clinging to him.  

Gaara sank in the darkness of the bedroom, feeling blindly for the bed. He flinched, his fingers slowly pulling at his collar. He passed his t-shirt over his head. Silently, he slid under the covers to lie down on the bed.

He closed his eyes, one arm over his forehead.

"Gaara?" Sakura mumbled, her head raising from her pillow.

"I had a long day. I don't want to fight," he said quietly.

The bed sheets taut over him, then briskly slipped and exposed his feet, as she rolled toward him.

"I watched your interview," she whispered.

Gaara turned his head toward her.

Her hair was softly tossed around her pillow, one lock curling beneath her chin. Her eyes gleamed faintly in the darkness, drifting across the solid shape of him next to her. Sakura bit her below lip, one of her arms holding the bed sheets over her chest.

She glanced away from him.

"Well, not all of it," Sakura laughed faintly, her fingers playing with the pillow case, "I was working, but I caught glimpses. You did well."

"Hn."

Sakura smiled and she turned her back to him.

"Good night," she whispered, and he looked up at the ceiling. The fan turned, soundlessly, the moving paddles hypnotizing as it brushed air toward them.

"'Night," he answered absent-mindedly.

Sakura pursued her lips.

Gaara didn't move.

He projected an uneven shadow on the wall she faced, swallowing her petite form. She shut her eyes tightly, uneasiness clawing at her insides.

She couldn't ignore him.

She roughly pushed back the bed sheets. He raised an eyebrow at her as she rolled back toward him.

"I don't want to fight."

"I know..."

Slowly, Sakura lowered her head to his chest. She could hear his heart pound. He tensed. She began to pull away, but his arm snaked around her, roughly holding her against his chest.

"Don't move, please"

"Okay."

"Okay," he echoed.

Gaara readjusted the bed sheets over them.

Sakura shifted her head, until it rested more comfortably against his chest. Tentatively, her arms circled him. She startled. He froze. Her fingers brushed again against the deep gash of uneven flesh.

"Don't ask, please."

"Okay."

"Okay," he echoed, and sighed, and his hand fell over her neck, grazing her nape, sinking into her soft hair.

He mirrored her touch. Halting, exploring, their heart beating restlessly, skin pressed against skin.

Sakura fell asleep after some time, her body leaning, sinking heavily across him.

He didn't sleep, terrified she would vanish. Terrified she would wake up and they would bicker again. And he would feel like she could never like nor love him.

She snuggled closer to him, her breath hot against his neck.

She was his wife, not a stranger, not a shapeless monster from his childhood – an uncle that feared him or a father that hated him – so why couldn't he sleep?

Why was he still afraid of the darkness?

-X-

The examination room whirred with the sound of the fan, the heat, the sun violently crushing her. Sakura wiped at her forehead, still frowning over the medical history of the patient. She was a blond plump woman, dressed in a suit that was taut around her frame. She played with her sunglasses, watching her with a vague smile.

"When did the pain start?" Sakura asked gently, and she dropped the file back on her desk.

She rubbed her hands with disinfecting gel before she walked to the patient with a reassuring smile.  

"Hmm... Two days again," the woman replied and she let Sakura feel for swelling below her jaw. "Are you married?"

"Yes. Are you? Is your husband in the waiting room? He can come in if you'd like," Sakura smiled and gestured for her to remove her suit jacket. "It would be easier for me to listen to your heart."

The woman unbuttoned her jacket slowly, shrugging it off.

Sakura pressed her stethoscope to her chest.

"Oh no, nothing like that..." she said vaguely, waving her hand. "Would your husband have accompanied you?"

"Breathe deeply, please," Sakura instructed.

She tried to listen to the heart pumping, its valves opening and closing, but the woman spoke again.

"Husbands are all the same, aren't they?" the woman insisted, her little eyes burning with curiosity.

Sakura's eyebrow twitched. She put the stethoscope back around her neck.

"You've syphilis," Sakura said, her face unreadable.

Roughly, she pressed the soap dispenser and washed her hands.

"What?" the woman blinked rapidly.

Sakura glared at her.

"Only someone with a rotten brain would take up one slot in the ER for their own personal gain. You're a journalist, aren't you?"

"I-I don't know what-" the woman stammered.

"Get out of my examination room!" Sakura bellowed, and pointed at the door.

-X-

At the end of her shift, Sakura didn't return home.

She went to his office, driving recklessly, her hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel. She mumbled angrily to herself.

She boiled, her mouth spasming with insults.

She expanded, anger and resentment shaking her to her core.

She was tired of being Sabaku Gaara's wife.

Sakura barged in the building of Sabaku Group, the revolving doors still spinning behind her.

She wrinkled her nose at the marble floors, the long banners with the company's logo handing down the high ceiling. 'Such a cliché,' she thought.

Sakura pushed through the security barrier without a glance back at the whirling sirens and shouting guards. She pressed the button to call an elevator.

"Ma'am! You need a badge."

"All of you shut up!" Sakura shouted, her temper rising, and they stopped mid-track. They only vaguely recognized her, but they obeyed the imperious icy tone.

The elevator pinged, and Sakura stepped inside.

One of the security guards held up the doors.

Sakura sneered at him.

"I'm going to see my husband, and I'm really good with a scalpel, so I suggest you remove your hand from that elevator door."

"Who's your husband, maybe we can call him down, so you can..." he gulped. "...talk through your martial problems outside."

"It's Sabaku Gaara, and I was disturbed at work, so now I'm disturbing him at work. Got a problem with that?"

She glared at them.

"Huh... I-"

"Remove. Your. Hand."

They bowed, uneasily, and she saw one of them reached for talkie-walkie, his mouth agape, the colours draining from his face.

She reached the top floor, and Gaara's assistant scurried to her feet. She bowed deeply, crumbs of cookies still attached to her lips.

"Sakura-sama! I didn't- We didn't-" Matsuri jogged next to Sakura matching her speed. Quickly, she wiped her mouth. "I mean, no one is expecting you, but you can wait in the waiting room until Gaara-sama is done with his meeting? Would you like sparkling water?" she babbled.

"He's in there?" Sakura jerked her thumb toward high burgundy doors crisscrossed with brass bamboos.

"Yes, but you can't-" Matsuri yelped.

Sakura hurled the doors open.

The sound echoed gravely against the walls, the doors vibrating with the strength of her push.

Gaara glanced up, then back at his document. He cocked his head to the side, glanced back up at her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, am I disturbing you in your work?" Sakura shouted.

The directors stared at her, frozen in their seats, their mouth agape.

"In fact, yes," Gaara frowned.

"I had a patient today, who was just a journalist!" She screeched, and she pointed her finger at him. "'How's your husband?'" she mocked in a shrill. "This is the ER, not a fucking talk show! You tell those vultures not to disturb me at work, is that clear?"

"Hn."

"Don't 'hn' me," Sakura shouted louder, her voice booming across the high ceiling of the room.

Gaara stretched his neck, his eyes half-shut.

"What was her name?"

Sakura slammed a newspaper on the conference table.

"She's the one writing this garbage."

Gaara looked at the wrinkled newspaper' pages scattered around the spot where she had thrown them.

"I'll take care of it."

"Yes, you will," she snapped, her cheeks turning red.

Sakura spun on her heels and headed out of the room. Savagely, she slammed the doors back shut.

Squared shoulders. Straight back. Chin up.

She winced and glanced sideways at Matsuri. The girl still had her hands pressed to her mouth.

"Did I imagine that?" Sakura murmured.

Quickly, Matsuri shook her mousy head, the corner of her widened frightened eyes filled with tears.

-X-

Sakura pinched her lips when she heard the front door open.

She cut the boy chow more finely, the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board filling the silence. Squared shoulders. Straight back. Chin up. Squared shoulders. Straight back. Chin up. Squared shoulders. Straight back. Chin up! She recited continuously in her head.

She didn't look up, her body tensing with his looming presence.

It lurked, this thing, this darkness, she didn't understand about her husband. She didn't want to flinch. She didn't want to be petrified. He had never given her any reason to fear him, so why did she flinch away from him?

"I called the newspaper," Gaara said and he loosened the tie around his neck.

Sakura cleared her throat, and pinched her lips.

"Good," she said with feigned disinterest.

His presence as invasive, crushing, Gaara leaned on the kitchen island next to her. He watched her work, his head cocked to the side. Her movements were stiff, but faltering under his stare, her knife sliding in the vegetable easily, expertly. He smirked.

"They want an interview."

The knife cut harder, now embedded in the cutting board.

Her jaw twitched.

"Tell them to go to hell," Sakura gritted her teeth.

"I did," he said quietly, and gripped the knife out of her hands.

"You did?" Sakura said in surprise and she let him move the cutting board away from her.

Gaara nodded.

"I told them you know your way with a scalpel," he said, and amusement glinted in his stiff smile, his cold eyes. "What you told my security guards."

"Oh," Sakura's cheeks burnt.

She scratched her arm.

He caught her hand.

She startled.

"Am I still invited to bed?" Gaara whispered against her palm.

Sakura bristled, watching his mouth moulded to her palm, advancing slowly to her wrist.

"You can't ask that! Not that way!" Sakura stammered, dry-mouthed, but she didn't stop him.

Gaara shrugged, glancing up at her. He held onto her hand, slowly spinning her wedding ring. He stopped. Smirking, he pressed her palm to his cheek.

"Can I bed you? Is that better?" he said and she tensed, his mouth tickled the thin skin of her wrist.

"Gaara!" she exclaimed, and whipped her hand out.

"I like how bossy you are," he mused aloud, and he brushed her hair out of her face.

She patted his hand away.

"That's not a reason!"

Shakily, Sakura reached for the cupboard, but he pushed it farther away, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Give me a reason then..." Gaara ordered.

"I don't know," she frowned, staring harder at the cutting board.

"Hn."

Sakura touched her forehead, thinking of his tattoo. 'Tell me I belong here. Tell me we aren't just two misfits finding each other because there's no one else for us.'

"You could at least say I'm pretty," she said weakly.

"You're very pretty," he replied.

"You're thinking about adding 'when I'm angry', aren't you? 'I'm pretty when I'm angry'."

"No," Gaara frowned. "Kankuro warned me against saying that when I was 17."

Sakura forced a smile.

"It's not enough," she muttered.

He grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What else do you want to hear?"

"What did your brother tell you about that?"

"Not to mention him."

"Yes, that sounds about right," Sakura pursued her lips, her fingers edging for the cutting board. "Now, let me-"

"No, I want to talk about this."

"Gaara!" she snapped impatiently.

"Honey, please," Gaara muttered against her ear.

Her heart hammering her bones, she tilted her head back, watching him.  

"What the hell..." Sakura threw her arms around his neck and pulled him to her.

She kissed him with force before he could say anything. Gaara stepped back, but he caught her savagely, selfishly, his hold too tight. Her hand moved across his face, light fingers calloused with her practice. She barely moved, her heart pounding in her ears, focused on the pressure of his lips moving against hers. Lack of oxygen. The scent of his after-shave.

She detached herself from him but he gripped her arms, his arm enclosing her.

"You're so so bossy with your little notes," she shoved him away from her, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand.

She panted, trembling.

He stared at her lips, an eyebrow raised.

"Do you want me to stop?" Gaara whispered.

Sakura panted.

"No. Yes. Maybe."

"Which is it?" he asked, closer to her.

She gripped his shirt, pulling him back toward her, and he crashed against her, lips and body. He sucked on her below lip. His hands firmly massaged her hips. She gasped, then moaned. She felt his teeth against her lip, her hands curling into shuddering fists around his shirt.

He released her lips with a wet sucking sound.

Lightly, she pressed her nails to his cheek, her heaving chest brushing against his. He lightly bit on her fingers.

"Your goddamn pink pen... I want to throw it out," Gaara growled releasing her fingers.

He ran his hands up her back to press her harder against him.

Stubbornly, Sakura turned her face and he kissed her neck, grunting deep in his throat. His hungry lips nibbling, sucking.

"You're not ever throwing out my stuff out again," she sharply pulled at his tie. Silk cascaded between her fingers on the floor, and she shuddered at his lips parting over her neck.

He gently sucked on the crook of her neck.

Her heart exploded in her ears, her eyes drifting shut.

"The kitchen is such a mess," Gaara mumbled and trailed kissed along her jaw, his gaze drifting across the counter. "What are you even doing? Cooking for 12?"

Sakura moved her head to capture his lips again. She opened her mouth, shuddering, when he grabbed her butt. They froze. They shifted their positing, readjusting, pulling at and pushing against each other. They wanted to fit against each other. Their tongues pressed against one another, swirling roughly. He pressed a hand to her throat, his fingers sinking slowly into her hair.

She beat her palms against his chest.

He released her.

She tore her lips from his.

"Have you seen your hair?" Sakura snapped, and he growled in response, his eyes sparkling, wide. "It's the biggest mess here."

His heavy gaze followed her hands as she reached for him. Her stare never left his face.

Sharply, she pulled his shirt out of his pants.

"Don't call me honey," Sakura said, wetting her sore, plucked lips. "I call you that."

-X-

"Damn, that sounds hot," Tenten whistled on the screen, and scratched her arm.

"It was just kiss and stuff," Sakura shrugged, embarrassed, and her hand covered her mouth.

She was sitting crossed-leg on her bed in front of her laptop propped up on pillows. She hesitated. She wanted to tell them about the gashes on his back, the same letters traced and retraced so many times, he carried the word as muscle memory, as the marrow of his being. Monster.

She had frozen, her palms laid flat across his back.

Her husband was a marked man.

Her husband was a monster.

'Don't ask please.'

Sakura snapped back to reality when Ino waved her head vehemently, her pink lips pursued.

"OK, but what about the other kiss? Do you know who it was?" Ino asked hotly, frowning, and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Who?" Sakura blinked rapidly, and she dropped her hand.

"That woman who kissed your husband."

Sakura grew rigid, petrified. She hadn't thought about her since her first night.

"Oof, don't try to find out," Tenten said and shook her head. "Box of worm, that is. It looks like she's got more chest than you and we know how self-conscious you are about boobies."

"Shut up!" Sakura bristled.

"Naw, she should find out. At least, to know if she can take her," Ino raised an eyebrow at her. "You should totally demand to know who that was."

"He said she was a dancer," Sakura muttered.

There were times Ino pushed her too much. She was too overprotective. Too short-tempered. And Sakura could barely keep up with her. And when she would look back, Ino would have fought all Sakura's battles on her own.

"Then, she's definitely got bigger boobs than you," Tenten shrugged and reached behind her to grab an apple. "And ones that won't sag." She bit in her apple noisily, humming to herself.

"What's the story though? Why did he kiss her? Are you sure this is a dancer? She isn't dressed like one..." Ino demanded in a rapid succession, wrinkling her nose at the noise Tenten was making. "Stop that!"

Sakura looked up, she saw them looking away. She had never thought of that. She wasn't dressed as a dancer, and dancers didn't kiss clients on the street.

Their conversation fizzled out, uneasiness creeping behind every word. Tenten's grey eyes silently followed her, and Ino filled every gaping hole of their conversation with high-pitched outcries about outfits and her co-workers.

Sakura chewed on her below lip after they disconnected from the video-chat.

She resisted the urge to pull up the picture of Gaara kissing the mystery woman on her computer. She shut her lap top, and dropped back on the bed, her arms spread across the pillows. She stared at the fan lazily turning above the bed, frowning.

The warm air on her air, shuffling her hair, she wondered if that was why she was so terrified of Gaara. He hid one part of himself.

'Don't ask please,' he had begged, his forehead in the crook of her neck, his breath shallow.

But she wanted to know.

She needed to know.

#GaaSaku #gaasaku-fanfests #GaaSaku Fic & Art Challenge #fanfic #clem-chan

[x-wearethefuture-x]

What do your muses want for Christmas?

((This is going to be a slightly long post because I have a lotof muses, but I’ll try to keep it somewhat concise.

Sooyeon: She wants to try switching up her choicesin perfume (she’s been wearing the same one FOREVER, and it would be nice tochange it up), so maybe like one of those perfume sampler gift sets? Also maybesome new makeup brushes. And, lastly, books. Genre, stye, author, etc don’tmatter. She just wants something new to read and she doesn’t know where tostart.

Seunghyun: There’s nothing in particular thathe wants? He doesn’t admit it easily, but he’s a fan of some kpop girl groups,so if someone knows him really well they might get him a new album orsomething. He doesn’t, like, collect posters or anything like that though, sono need for merch- he just enjoys the music. Also, he needs a new pair of bootsand a new watch ^^;

Hyuna: Eyeshadow palettes: the Morphe x Jaclyn Hill palette, theViseart Editorial Brights palette, and the Fenty Beauty Moroccan Spice paletteare the ones she’s most interested in (they’ve all been used on her forphotoshoots and she loves them, but she doesn’t actually own any of them). Alsoat least one Huda Beauty Liquid Matte Lipstick, preferably in bikini babe,wifey, or heartbreaker. Also, maybe some new heels? Something strappy andblack- like this or this. Oh!And, lastly- a pokemon hoodie! Preferably a size or two too big for her. Also,the ones that are either simple (with like a single pokemon on the front orback) or the ones that have the hood with the ears on it (she’d love a shinyumbreon one, without the tail tho if possible. It seems like it would just getin the way). Alternately, maybe thisSailor Moon jacket, she absolutely loves it!

Kyuhyun: Red Dead Redemption 2, Dragonball Fighter Z, or Assassin’sCreed Odyssey. He also intends to preorder the ps4 vr bundle that comes withBorderlands 2 and Beat Saber (mostly for Borderlands), but that’s expensive, sothat’s more of just something he’s getting for himself ^^; Also- he likes 2player video games so that Chanmi can join him if she wants to. He knows she’snot, like, super into them or anything, but if he can find something she enjoysplaying, then he wants to get it. After all, what’s better than getting to doyour favorite leisure activity with the one you love? He also needs a newwatch (he goes through one or two a year because of work oTL), and some newwinter gloves. Also, maybe a new phone case- his is looking dull and worn. ALegend of Zelda related one maybe?

GaIn: She’s been trying to learn how to play the piano, but it’sdifficult when she doesn’t have one- so maybe a keyboard. Nothing expensive orfancy, just something functional that she can learn on. Nail polish, redlipstick, and black eyeliner are things she always needs, so any of that would be great, too! Also, she’sbeen meaning to get a suit that’s better tailored to her own body rather thankidnapping Kwon’s all the time (they’re a little big on her). So something likethat would be nice. Or a slinky, red, dress.

Kwon: A guitar rest for his acoustic guitar at home (hisrecently broke, so he’s resorted to lying it in places he hopes are safe forit). Some new heels- he’s in love with this pair. Otherwise,Kwon doesn’t really want for much. Maybe just some new music notation sheets. Acalligraphy kit would be nice, too.

Hyojin: She needs CASH. Like, that’s what she really needs. Notstuff, just CASH. Though some new headphones would be appreciated (not earbuds,but actual headphones), as would a new winter jacket with a faux fur trim onthe hood. Hyojin is the kind of person that doesn’t care much for gettingpresents. She never knows what she wants until it’s right in front of her- soshe prefers money in order to get things for herself.

Hyuk: A new tripod for his camera. He already has one, butanother one would be awesome because he keeps losing his other one somehow?? Hewould also like a nice water bottle, something sturdy and easy to carry- he’sgained a little weight lately and now he’s trying to carry water with himeverywhere so he’s not tempted to drink sugary stuff (because he likes both hiscoffee and tea WAY too sweet). Lastly- he’s a big movie buff, he’ll watch justabout anything. So movie memorabilia? Or literally just, like, the actualmovies because he has hardly any and he’s just stuck with whatever’s availableto stream on Netflix.

Yongsun: Mostly she just wants stuff for her dog, Aayla. So, like,dog toys and dog treats, maybe a new leash. Also some running shoes- she won’tuse them much at this time of year, as soon as it’s warm she likes to go onjogs with Aayla not just through the park, but outside of the city too, likealong forest and mountain paths. She grew up surrounded by nature, so the cityis stifling to her. That’s why she’d also like a couple easy to care for plantsfor her house, too. Nothing that will die if she doesn’t have time to tend toit for a day or two, but something to brighten up her place. Also- some coloredpencils because she bought a Harry Potter adult coloring book and hasn’t beenable to use it, but she keeps forgetting to by colored pencils oTL And,finally, one of those Star Wars Death Star waffle maker because who /doesn’t/want Death Star waffles?! Or the Millenium Falcon one!On one last note: Yongsun doesn’t need much. She makes a fair amount of moneyfrom her job (not as much as you’d expect, but she has plenty). Honestly, thebest gift for her is someone who will come over and help her bake Christmascookies and pies and things for her family and friends. She usually cooks andbakes alone, which is fine because it’s very therapeutic to her, but sheprefers it when other people want to join her.

Junsu: He also doesn’t want much, he usually just buys whateverhe wants. But copic markers don’t come cheap, so maybe a nice set of those. Newsketching pencils and pens for inking would be nice, too. Books are always agood choice, as well. When he’s not drawing or writing, he’s usually reading.You could get him just about any book and he’d still read it, so you can’t gowrong with anything, really. He does prefer adult fiction, but as an author ofyoung adult novels, he reads a lot of books in that genre for inspiration.Otherwise, there’s nothing in particular that he desperately wants. He livespretty simply. Though, just a small hint with Junsu- he doesn’t seem it, buthe’s fairly sentimental. He doesn’t care much about gifts- for him, the card isusually much more important. So get him a card and write something in it. Heloves that. He has a small box of old Christmas cards, mostly from when he wasyounger and still living with his siblings and parents. His younger siblings usedto make cards for him all the time and he’s kept every single one.

Wheein: She mostly likes Christmas for the sweetsand baked goods. It’s why she always ends up spending Christmas with Yongsun’sfamily- they make a TON of food and bake a ton of cookies and Wheein can bringhome as many left overs as she wants xD So, seriously, load her up on sugarystuff. Her manager might be upset with you for it, but Wheein will appreciateit! Aside from that, Wheein cares less about gifts and more about time spent together.The best kind of Christmas gift is something as simple as taking her out iceskating or something. Usually she and Yongsun get a lot of time off aroundChristmas, so she has more free time to spend with people. Unfortunately, sheusually assumes that everyone is too busy with their families to want to spendtime with her, so she’s never really the one to initiate a day out with afriend. But if you want to get her an actual gift- she likes candles. She alsotakes a lot of baths, so bath bombs and such are perfect.

Youjin: He needs a new jacket, for one thing-preferably a leather jacket. Also new winter boots because he hasn’t had newwinter boots in like 4 or 5 years, so his aren’t in great condition ^^; Anotherthing that he’d actually like is something he wouldn’t really go out and getfor himself unless he was prompted to, but... a nice suit. Or at leastsomething to wear someplace nice. He’s a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, so hedoesn’t own many nice, dressy, clothes, but he wants to be able to take Eunbiout to nice dinners and things sometimes and he’d be ashamed to do so in suchcasual attire ^^;

Chloe: She’s always looking for new gloves towear year round- faux leather gloves, satin gloves, even ones that are slightlysheer. She’s been trying to trick herself with fingerless gloves or fishnetkind of ones, too, in the hopes that she can slowly kind of get into the habitof not wearing gloves at all eventually. So anything like that that’s a glovebut that forces her to actually make contact with things despite wearing thegloves is great. Otherwise, she kind of wants Overwatch now so she can playwith Lina ^^; And maybe just a few games, in general. She’s not much of agamer, but they’re a fun leisure activity, you know? Also... fake flowers. Thatsounds a bit silly maybe, but they last longer and they can look really prettyaround the house, too. Also maybe some new clothes? She doesn’t buy new clothesfor herself very often, so most of her wardrobe is from high school anduniversity ^^;

Jinyong: If you want to make a good impression, buy something forhis daughter instead of for him. He doesn’t buy much for himself outside ofnecessities because he focuses on getting things for Areum, instead. But ifyou insist ongetting a gift for him, he prefers not to get decorative things (like photos orknick knacks). He likes more functional gifts. Like a movie that he and hisdaughter can enjoy together. Or maybe a cookbook because he’s been trying tolearn how to cook and bake better. Actually, any kitchen necessities would begreat because he’s always missing something. Likea rolling pin, a hand mixer or stand mixer, new pots and pans or a nice knifeset. Stuff like that. Also, he’s someone who actually enjoys getting ties for Christmas, so don’t shy away from that!He’s almost always wearing a tie at work so he likes to have a variety.

Hyemi: Hyemi is a tricky person to buy for. She’s minimalistic inmost aspects; she doesn’t like a lot of clutter. No artwork or figurines. Herhome is pristine and plainly decorated with basically just essentials. Most ofher clutter comes in the form of clothes, makeup, shoes, purses, jewelry, andsunglasses- things like that. She makes money off of her youtube videos whichmostly involve makeup and fashion stuff, so it makes sense that she has quite acollection of these things. That said- I guess the best things to get her forChristmas would include functional items (think headphones, a phone case (gold,white, or a soft pink preferably), even bathbombs, perfumes, and such) orsomething like makeup, jewelry, shoes, and the like. She may seem like a fussywoman who will only wear high end stuff, but seriously, so long as it looksgood she doesn’t care if it cost $5 or $5000, she’ll wear it.

Jaewon: Jaewon is a big dorkwho loves things with science and math puns. Yes, you read that correctly-science and math puns. The more ridiculous, the better! There’s not really muchthat he needs, but he’ll be happy with just about any gift, honestly. Mysuggestion for this Christmas would be something like I mentioned above, ormaybe a new controller for his PS4 because he recently broke one of his and nowhe only has one (don’t ask him about it because he’ll lie, but he got mad andthrew it oTL). He’s not like a huge gamer or anything, but he does play themsometimes to chill out. 

Ericka: Ericka is all about those “gothy”clothes- black, black, and more black! Anything witchy is totally cool, too!She likes crystals a lot and kind of wants a new Ouija board, too. Alternately,she’s a huge gamer- she’ll play literally just about anything! So you want toget her a new game? Go for it! A new gaming headset? Heck yeah! Just somefigurines or hoodies of characters etc. from a game? YES! She also likescooking and needs some new pots and pans and things but she’s pretty broke, sothat would be cool, too!

Nick: My dear sweet boyjust wants a cat tree for his kitties. He’s been trying to find a good one, butthey’ve been a bit out of budget lately. Basically, anything for his cats is agreat gift for him. He loves his cats so much

Sarah: Sarah likes cute things.Plushies, decorative pillows, little figurines, stickers, etc. She’s also fondof cuter clothes, especially anything in a soft pink color (a cool toned babypink is her favorite), so anything like that would be nice! She also reads alot, so books are a great gift! She mostly reads fantasy novels and sometimesromances or detective novels. Sarah also likes journaling and does those cutelittle bullet journals. She’s going to need a new one for the upcoming year!That said, other things that go with bullet journaling would be great, too-like washi tape, gel pens to add some color, even stamps and ink for stamping(things like mini calendars, days of the week, etc). 

Donghae: Donghae has basicallyeverything he could want, to be honest. The best kind of gifts to give him are allpretty functional- a new wallet, some earbud headphones, even just a tie orsome festive socks? Lately he’s been writing a lot though as he intends tocross over into more musical pursuits soon (releasing an album sometime thiscoming year), so nice notebooks are a great choice of gift, too!

I hope that that’s enough ideas? Some of my muses are hard to buy for ^^;))

#((ooc)) #Anonymous

[yuzusorbet]

My 2nd Ice Show Adventure (Fantasy On Ice 2017 in Niigata)

Summer 2015, I went for my very 1st ice show, Fantasy On Ice (FaOI) in Kobe, and it was the 1st time I saw ‘nama-Yuzu’ (real-life Yuzuru) after being a fan since 2014 Olympics. 

Summer 2016, I had tickets for FaOI again but this time, Yuzu pulled out of all ice shows to recover from lisfranc ligament injury, so I sold my ticket, prayed for Yuzu’s health and happiness, sent him letters of support, and managed to survive the terribly long off-season with other long-suffering Yuzu-fans.  

This summer (2017), I am so busy with work projects that I have no time for fangirling, not to mention ice shows, and I moaned about it to a few friends. Almost like a miracle, one friend told me that if I wanted, she could get tickets for me for FaOI Niigata!  I decided I could get away for the weekend.  I must!  

The shows were on Friday, Saturday, Sunday (16-18 June) and it would be my first time in Niigata.  I took an ANA flight (yay! ANA!) and arrived in Niigata airport on Thursday.   The first meal I had was a very delicious bowl of ramen, and as I ate, I was surprised that I could taste bits of yuzu (the fruit).  I have never had ramen with yuzu before and so I was really happy!  It was really oiishiiiiiiiiii~~!!!  What a great omen, I thought.  My first meal on this trip was with yuzu. xD    

On this 1st night, there was something else that made me think of Yuzu.... I saw Bourbon ice-cream!  “Mo chotto”!  

I was way too full from the huge bowl of ramen and so I did not buy ‘Mo Chotto’ ice-cream to try.  Thought I’d try it another day but I did not pass by this shop again and I could not find it anywhere else.  Sigh.  Regret.  The snack is common but the ice-cream is not. 

Friday 16 June (ice show is at 7pm, doors open at 6pm)  

In the morning, I changed hotel.  Checked into ANA Crowne Plaza (yay, ANA!) because it’s a short walk to the ice show venue.  A Yuzu-fan friend, D-chan, messaged to say she is nearby and asked me to join her for coffee.  OK!   It was a lovely breezy walk from ANA hotel to an area called Pier Bandai and I found her in a cosy little coffee place with comfy sofas.  I ordered an iced coffee and we chatted away.  “I can’t believe I’m really here....”  “He’s somewhere near us now, you know....”  “Omg we’re breathing the same air as him....”   xD

Happiness is talking with a Yuzu-fan while sipping coffee in Japan. :)  

Soon it was time to meet another friend, Kay, the wonderful person who got my tickets for me.  We had plans for an early dinner together and then go for the ice show.  I met her at Niigata Station and we walked around looking for food. Some restaurants were not yet opened for dinner as it was too early. Luckily there was a soba shop that was open and we both felt like eating soba, so in we went.  (soba= buckwheat noodles) 

We ordered their specialty which was soba dipped in a warm broth with tender slices of pork.  And once again, I had the lovely surprise of finding yuzu in it!   I really love the citrusy fragrance it gave to the soupy noodles.  We felt so happy eating soba with yuzu.  It was a very good meal. :)  

From Niigata station, there was a shuttle bus to the show venue, running pretty frequently.  (I really love Japan;  they think of everything.) There was no real need to look for the bus-stop, just look for the long queue!  Luckily, it was a short wait as the buses came quickly and soon we were on our way to Toki Messe!   Just a 10-minute bus ride and we were there, a lovely glassy tall building by the river.  

We were early but the queue for FaOI merchandise was already VERY LONG. It’s ok, let’s admire the pretty Tanabata decorations and chit-chat while we wait in line.  Finally we could at least SEE the sale counter!  It’s going to be our turn!  I got a T-shirt, a towel and the programme booklet.  So happy to get the towel because 2 years ago at FaOI Kobe, the towel was sold out before it was my turn, on the very 1st day!  

Then Kay pointed out to me something that made me very happy.... Ice Rink Sendai merchandise counter!  I have not had the chance to buy anything from Yuzu’s hometown rink before, so I hurried towards it excitedly.  Wow, they really have a lot of pretty things!  

The photo of Yuzu wearing ‘Irene gloves’ was there.  (Irene is short for ‘Ice Rink Sendai’ and is the name of the mascot.)  And also his signature with a message saying “I will never forget, I will continue to do my best and give my support.” (my translation from Japanese)   And there is a little mushroom at the end. ^^

What a simple but heartwarming message for his hometown rink....

I bought the ‘Irene’ gloves, T-shirt, keychain and some stationery.  I love the pink theme!

There were also stalls selling really beautiful books and magazines..... I want them all!

Glad we were early.  It was hard to take a good look at the stalls when it got very crowded later.  

I was also very amused to see a counter that rented out binoculars, haha.  I did not rent one on the 1st day, but I did for the next 2 days.  Best decision ever.  I could see clearly all his cute facial expressions and who he was talking to all the time at the finale.  (Guess who. :))  

And of course, there were big boxes for fan letters and gifts to skaters.  Yuzu’s box filled up quickly and the inner bag had to be changed several times by the staff.  I used my new Irene stationery to write 2 fan letters (one on behalf of the FB international fan group and one from myself) and dropped them into the box on the 2nd day.  On the 3rd day, I decided to also drop a letter into Oda-san’s box.  I told him I enjoy his skating, his talk shows and his blog, thanked him for his great friendship with Yuzu, and may God bless his beautiful family. :)   

After all the excitement outside, it’s time to go in.  The seating arena for Niigata is smaller than some other places, so even the furthest row was not that far away.  I was somewhere in the middle, nearer one end of the rink.  

As usual, there were guys in black jackets who walk around holding up big signs that say “No taking of photos or videos”.  (I took this pic before the show, no pics during the show.  Law-abiding fan.) 

The show started and the skaters were introduced one or two at a time.  Yuzu was the last one to come out and the applause and cheers for him were huge.  It was clear who the star of the show was. :) 

After the opening number, the skaters did their individual performances.  I enjoyed watching all of them.  My favourite ones were the 2 performances by Nobunari Oda -- the music was beautiful for both and I love to watch his jumps;  it’s like he lands on marshmallow (once again I am reminded of why they gave him that T-shirt saying ‘landing with cat’s feet’);  Sex Bomb by Plushenko was hilarious and I laughed so much;  and Shizuka Arakawa-- what supreme grace and beauty.

Ice dancers Papadakis and Cizeron were very beautiful to watch. So glad they performed in this FaOI.  The acrobatic duo of 2 men in Swan Lake tutu performing ‘Notte Stellata’ was very funny.  I have seen Yuzu perform to this song so beautifully so many times in the past season (and watched it live at 4CC) and now this exact same song is skated in such a comical way..... I was so tickled. xD

For the record, the other skaters were Kaori Sakamoto, Marin Honda, Akiko Suzuki, Miki Ando, Shoma Uno, Evgenia Medvedeva, Denis Vasiljevs, Javier Fernandez, Elladj Balde, Johnny Weir, Stephane Lambiel, Jeffrey Buttle and the Chesnas.  Many of them performed twice, before and after the intermission.  Much thanks to all for their wonderful performances!     

At the end was Yuzu’s Chopin Ballade Number 1.  I had the good fortune of watching this 2 years ago, at the last show of FaOI 2015, when he gave us a surprise performance with live piano music played by Kotaro Fukuma.  At that time, he did the 2nd half of his usual Chopin, in a black FaOI finale shirt. It was awesome. So this time, I was really excited that I would see the full performance with that beautiful white Chopin top. And wow.... he really took my breath away. Although I have watched him perform Chopin for 2 seasons already, it felt like a different Chopin. It was the same and yet it was different. More beautiful, more powerful, more flow, more speed, more precision.... it was already so perfect, how can it be even better, but it is!  (based on my ‘expert’ opinion.)   I am so thrilled that he is doing this for the new season! I LOVE Chopin!

After Chopin, he went backstage to dry his sweat and then came out again to do an encore of ‘Let’s Go Crazy’ (his SP for last season). It was funny to watch LGC performed in that sweet Chopin costume. So mismatched, haha.

For the finale, Yuzu came out in a glittery blue FaOI top with a cat ears-hair band on his head. He danced in the group number and even did a cartwheel on the ice!  And he waved happily to all of us. It was so good to see him enjoying himself. I am very glad he did not do any quad battles at the end. He just did a side lunge for the 1st show (with one under a set of hurdles, so amazing!), a hydroblade for the 2nd show, and a ‘muscle man’ pose with Plushenko at the last show. And when others are doing their jumps or special elements in the middle of the rink, he would skate from his original position to the space between his idol Plushenko and good buddy Nobu. And he was often talking to Plush. Ahhh... Yuzu, still the cute fan-boy after all these years. :)))

After the finale, when all the other skaters have left the rink, Yuzu took a mic and spoke to thank all of us. He said things like please take care of yourselves, take care as you go home, have a meal, have a good rest, who is staying on for tomorrow’s show? oh that’s quite a lot of you (laughs), thank you for your support, I really enjoyed myself, eh to, eh to, there is still so much that I want to say, but never mind, it is already very late, I should stop here, I really want to thank all of you for today....... And he would end by putting the mic down and shouting as loudly as he could with his own voice “Arigato gozaimashita!”

Listening to him speak was just wonderful.... I was touched by his concern for his fans and also half-laughing at some things he said. He wanted to talk more but he did not want to hold us back as it was already way past 10pm on that 1st night. That dear talkative boy. :) Oh Yuzu, your fans would listen to you all night, if only we could. But then we want you to rest too! You need a good rest and a good meal more than us!

In his speech for the 2nd day, he also thanked the people who made the ice rink.  He said the ice was very good to skate on and they all loved skating there. Yuzu and his grateful heart. :) 

On that 2nd day, I was seated at the other end, where the stage was.  (I took this pic as I was leaving.)  When he was speaking, he was standing on the left of the stage just outside the ice.  I had a very clear side view of him through my binoculars ( I was halfway up the stands).  His face was sweaty but dazzling with happiness as he spoke.  How I wish I was sitting this close!   

The shows for Saturday and Sunday were at 2 pm and 1pm respectively.

Most skaters performed the same programmes for all 3 shows in Niigata but a few skaters did a different one for one of the shows. Like Marin Honda, for the 2nd show, she performed in a very cute Japan Airlines air stewardess costume. Elladj Balde was the skater before Marin (he did a great Michael Jackson medley) and when he finished his performance, he skated to one end with his chair and just sat there. Marin skated out in her JAL costume, went to him and said in Japanese, “Sir, would you like some coffee or tea?” Haha, that was how she started and I really enjoyed her performance.  For the other 2 days, she did ‘Crime Tale’.   Javier also had a different one in the 2nd show;  instead of his new SP, it was a funny pirate one where he was a cleaner-boy daydreaming. Johnny Weir performed ‘Amazing Grace’ in the 2nd half for the 1st 2 days, then on the 3rd day, he did a song called ‘Creep’.  His performance was so heart-wrenching, I almost cried.  I can still feel the pain he expressed even now when I think back..... Johnny’s skating is really very special. No wonder he is one of the skaters that Yuzu has looked up to since junior days.

In the 3rd show, which was the last FaOI show for 2017, Yuzu had some surprises for us. 

After performing Chopin, he went backstage as usual, and the rink was dark. As with the previous 2 shows, we waited a while and then started to call his name. “Yuzu, Yuzu....” The MC said we have to shout his name louder because he can’t hear us. So we shouted “YUZU!” as loudly as we could, expecting him to appear for the LGC encore. Suddenly, the sounds of an electric guitar filled the air. There was a guitarist on stage and he was playing ‘Parisienne Walkways’!!!! We recognised it immediately and the fan beside me turned to me with eyes as big as saucers. She grabbed my hand and we started screaming and jumping about, mad with excitement! Yuzu then skated out to all our screams and did his legendary PW wearing his Chopin costume (he did the 2nd half of the usual PW programme). Oh wow!!! What a surprise! What a treat!!! Yuzu's PW with live guitar!!! I felt like the luckiest fan in the world!!!

After that amazing encore, he went backstage and the finale started. The other skaters came out in turns to do the group number. When Yuzu came out again for his part in the finale, we all went hysterical again! Because he was wearing a yellow headband with Pooh ears!! Hahaha...... this guy really knows how to make his fans scream. He looked so adorable! It was wonderful to see him looking so happy and enjoying himself so much. (Later, I saw a Japanese fan on twitter say the Pooh headbands were all sold out. But of course. The Yuzuru-effect. XD) 

(2 pics above are fans’ screenshots of a TV news segment on FaOI.)

Then at the very end of the show, when the other skaters have left the rink, he gave a very emotional speech and made me cry.  He said that last year he could not do anything (no ice shows at all due to injury), so now he is feeling very happy to be back doing this and he loves skating and he is feeling most blessed and he is the happiest person in the world. (*may not be the exact words but the meaning is such.)  And he thanked the organisers and other people and all of us.  It was not so much the words he said but the way he said them. There were so much emotions. His voice trembled a bit at the beginning. It sounded like he was tearing and was trying to control himself not to cry. As he spoke, his feelings were just gushing out...... he was just so utterly happy and grateful for everything!

Then he did the usual ending-shout;  he put down the mic, cupped his hands near his mouth and shouted "arigato-gozaimashita!", and we all shouted back "arigato-gozaimashita!"  And then he bowed and waved and went in through the curtains.

Tears were running down my face. I continued to say softly, "Arigato, Yuzu-kun, arigato."  Thank you, Yuzu, thank you.  My tears just kept flowing as I thought back.  After going through so much... so much..... he is finally where he is supposed to be.......   

Seeing Yuzu so happy and healthy is one of the best things in the world. 

I met Kay after the show and we talked about how special Yuzu is.  And how is it that he can make us fly thousands of miles to watch him perform just those few minutes and we feel it’s so worth our time, money and energy.  She would be flying home that night, and for me, my flight home was the next day.  As with all good things, it ended too quickly but our hearts were filled to overflowing.

I am very grateful to Kay for her help with tickets and for her fun company.  We met up every day and ate some very delicious food together.  On the 2nd day after the show, we walked around and found a little ramen shop to have dinner.  And again there was yuzu in it!!!  (See the little yellow strips on top of the soup?)  Kay also ordered a yuzu sparkling wine.  I had a sip and it was lovely!   Another meal with yuzu.... ahhh life is good. :) 

On the last night after the ice show, I shopped for stuff like P&G Bold clothes detergent, Lenor clothes deodoriser and softener, Ghana chocolate and Xylitol gum.  I was so happy to find all these things near my hotel, and after I lugged my heavy shopping back to my hotel room, I realised I had forgotten to buy rice! Niigata is famous for very good rice and I had wanted to buy a small bag of rice home. :((  I messaged Kay to lament and she replied, it’s ok, he is not the ambassador for rice.  Hahaha..... I love Yuzu-fans.  (I did manage to get a bag of rice before I left for the airport the next day. :) ) 

Yuzu-fans are really wonderful and generous.  And just like Yuzu, they surprise me all the time.  On the 2nd night, D-chan passed a package to me from a fan that I don’t even know.  Inside were some Japanese newspapers and advertisements with Yuzu, and also ‘Weekend Sendai’!!!  OMG I nearly fainted with happiness.  (Weekend Sendai is a free travel magazine given out in Japan many months back.  Yuzu is featured inside recommending food and places in Sendai. 1st pic below, left side.)   Gosh, how did she know it’s something I had been coveting for ages now???  I told D-chan to give her my utmost gratitude.  And thank you, D-chan, for being a good friend and messenger!  So glad I met you on this trip!    

Another fan gave me gorgeous photos of Yuzu that she had taken herself at competitions.  And she said, “Thank you for the good work that you do in the fan group.”  Aww..... I was so touched!   Thank you, CL!

I was so happy when I was packing my luggage on the last night in Niigata.  I had so many precious goodies in my bag!   Thank you, dear Yuzu-fans!!!  Hope to see you all again! 

Below are pics of my FaOI tee, towel and booklet that I bought on Day 1.

There is so much more that I want to say, but this is already so long, I should stop here now.  Dear Yuzu, thank you for everything!!!  May God bless you and your family.  Always supporting you and hope to see you again soon!   

Note: This is written one month after the event due to being too busy at work.  If any details of FaOI are incorrect, I am sorry for my bad memory. :P   

[Credit: photos are all mine except for the 2 screenshots of Yuzu with Pooh-ears from twitter and the Pooh pics from pinterest - thanks!]

#fantasy on ice niigata #FaOI 2017 #Yuzuru Hanyu #fantasy on ice

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds S06E21 “The Stranger” review - or more aptly named, funny and twisted in the same episode? Hells yes, we’re back on track XD I love this!

Episode 21 – The Stranger

Hey everyone! So last time was uberly weird, and depressing and emotional ... I need a reprieve, so let’s hope this has slightly more humoristic scenes with my three faves (Derek, Spence and Penelope) and more Rossi sarcasm, because I need it direly.

Let’s see what happens.

“Unnecessary. There’s too much blood and gore and ew.”

And that is why me and her are so perfect for each other.

“Garcia, it’s a slasher film. How do you do a slasher film without violence?”

“You imply it.”

XD

“Baby the movie is called Slice 6. What were you expecting?”

“A refreshing beverage with a twist of comedy.”

“I’m gonna have nightmares for a week.”

“With everything that we do and see on a daily basis, that got to you?”

“Listen, newb, you may be all Sigourney Weaver ass-kicking tough, which is awesome, but the mystical mavens of innocence like myself jump at things that go bump in the night.”

So I don’t need to even comment on this, because the dialogue does it for me XD

“Why are you worried? I’m sure that Morgan will protect you.”

“As long as he’s not jumping out of his chair like a prepubescent schoolgirl.”

WHAT?!

“The only reason I jumped is ‘cause you guys woke me up.”

“How could you sleep during that?”

“Easy. You drag me out after a 12-hour workday … for what?”

“You telling me that girl didn’t know the unsub was waiting for her upstairs?”

“Come on.”

Oh my tough puppy.

“Villain.”

“What?”

“In movies, unsubs are called villains.”

“My bad.”

I LOVE THIS SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH!

“Still, it’s totally unrealistic. No one should be walking through ha dark alley by themselves at night.”

“Ahem, hello.”

“Ah. No one should be walking through a dark alley without a Derek Morgan by their side.”

Oh lordy, this show is awesome.

“What we didn’t see coming is the Slicer’s brother was in the closet.”

“Frightening.”

Ah, the sarcastic Rossi.

“He betrayal consumed him and he sent his brother to his own private hell.”

Oh my god, just look at him so happily describing a horror movie. I balk at those.

“Speaking of horror …”

“What’s Strauss doing here?”

“Whatever it is, I cast my vote on ‘no good’.”

I love my goddess XD

“I left them on your desk last night.”

“This really isn’t the time for another evaluation.”

So Strauss is being the regular bitch and trying to get Aaron to do an evaluation on himself? And to have everyone take it again? I’m going to smack this bitch.

So three girls in college, who look eerily alike, were murdered ... yikes.

“As it stands right now, I’m coming up empty.”

“Their apartments were spread throughout the city, so … no fingerprints at the crime scene.”

“The unsub uses gloves.”

“He’s organized.”

“Forced entry at all the apartments. Back door, patio door, living room window.”

“The homes were wrecked.”

“Clear evidence of a struggle.”

“He’s creating a scene.”

“He wants to inflict fear not only in his victim but in whomever finds the body.”

“Could be a message to the local PD. ‘Look what I can do’.”

“He’s killed three women in under a week. San Diego PD wants us on the scene as soon as possible.”

Stephen King: “Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters.”

Dang, Mr. King, just dang.

“Our unsubs has a type and a temper.”

Yeah, he’s angry at brunettes. Seriously creepy (I’m brunette :O)

“Amber was getting ready for her bath. It would have been an easy target for a sexual assault, but none came.”

“That’s highly unusual for this kind of unsub.”

“You know, extreme violence in physical aggression is in its nature sexual.”

Again with the hot people talking about sex.

“That’s true, but as a substitution for the sex act.”

“This guy could be impotent. He can’t perform, so that’s why he goes all out for the kill.”

Again with the sweet ‘innocent’ people talking about sex.

“If he’s targeting female college students, we need to make sure that campus officials are informed if they haven’t been already.”

“We also can’t rule out other students and faculty.”

Insert Reid’s immense knowledge about San Diego college layout ... that’s a lot.

“Each girl lived off-campus and was attacked in their apartment.”

“That’s pretty high-risk.”

“Less risky if he’s stalking them in advance, running layouts and routines.”

“Between classes and part-time jobs, they’d be home sporadically at best.”

“Which tells us they’re not victims of opportunity. He targets them, then stalks them to know where they live and when they’re gonna be home.”

“Morgan, you and Reid go to the last victim’s apartment. Seaver, interview the roommate. Dave and I will go to the medical examiner’s.”

“Well, there’s no secure parking.”

“I rode a bike when I was in college.”

“That’s ‘cause you weren’t old enough to drive, Einstein.”

Oh my god, the Reid-Morgan bromance teasing is back. I love those two so fucking much.

“I could drive. It’s just the government wouldn’t issue me a license until I was fourteen.”

Oh, schooled!

“A lot of places for the unsub to hide out here.”

“Yeah, he could have easily grabbed her when she passed through here.”

“Yet she made it all the way to her apartment.”

“Where she should feel safe, but then he took that from her.”

“The number of stab wounds increases with each victim, yes?”

“Did the strike indicate any medical knowledge on the part of the unsub?”

“He hadn’t built his confidence yet.”

“He’s improving quickly.”

“He made the struggle last longer because he wanted her to suffer.”

“So now he’s starting to enjoy it.”

And I’m about to upchuck the strawberries and banana

“I’m Agent Derek Morgan. This is Dr. Spencer Reid.”

“He jimmied the lock on the window.”

“I guess he needed the privacy to complete the torture.”

“Well, most sadists like to kill on their own turf. This guy didn’t risk taking her to a secondary location.”

“Maybe something happened which makes the location of the kill significant. Look.”

“That’s something new.”

What is?

“He’s smearing the blood on the walls, exhibiting more control and rage over his victims, taking pleasure in the kill.”

Ew!

“It looks like he’s taking his anger out on women who represent someone he knows.”

“Yeah, like Edmund Kemper. He most likely can’t confront his true target yet, so he’s going after women who look like her until he can build up the confidence to complete his endgame.”

“So she wasn’t into the college scene.”

“Academically or for money?”

“Do you know where she heard about the part-time work?”

Craigslist ... yikes.

“The first victim, Monica Shanley’s, BFF reported that they were talking on the phone and hung up just before Monice stepped inside her apartment.”

“What does that get us?”

Phone time with the sexy goddess?

“Well, some neighbors heard loud screaming coming from Monica’s apartment at 11:12 pm.”

“At 11:15 they called 911.”

“11:26 cops arrived.”

“He’s able to strike, kill, and get out in less than 14 minutes?”

That’s one fast sicko.

“How’d it go?”

“According to her roommate, Amber worked odd jobs to make ends meet.”

“Could be where she met with the unsub. Garcia, get us a list of jobs that Amber worked the last few months, and look for personal checks she might have deposited as under-the-table payments.”

Oh, you smart Italian stallion.

“Copy that.”

“The unsub stalks his victims. He knows their routine.”

“He could attack them anytime they’re alone, even in their cars, but he chooses to attack them in their homes.”

“And waits for them to bolt the doors before he strikes.”

“He wants them to feel safe before he takes that away from them.”

“It’s about making them feel powerless in their own personal space.”

“So it’s physical and psychological torture.”

No shit.

So he killed a babysitter. Yikes. Poor baby.

“We profiled that he gets off by striking inside the victims’ homes. Why did he kill her here?”

“That’s a big change in MO.”

“Maybe Laurie had a roommate, so the unsub figured he’d have more time on the job.”

“Did he hurt the child?”

Thankfully, no.

“I’ll talk to them. You two go in.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, I’m David Rossi with the FBI. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?”

“And how did you meet her?”

Again with the fucking Craigslist.

“How many people did you interview?”

“Did she talk about any boyfriends or say anything that may have raised an alarm?”

“And how long ago was that?”

So she had a boyfriend up till a month ago. Yikes.

“With an infant in the room, Laurie would have been at her most vulnerable.”

“Look at this.”

“He felt compelled to organize the supplies.”

“Look.”

Now, if it weren’t for the blood, I would have so many images of Daddy!Derek.

“Do you think the unsub fed the kid?”

“Then he stabs Laurie, so the kid probably starts crying.”

“Maybe he gave the kid the bottle in order to keep him quiet.”

“We might be looking for someone with a deep-rooted abandonment issue.”

“One who identifies with the child.”

“Or maybe the baby crying interfered with his enjoyment of watching the babysitter bleed out?”

“Well, either way, caring for the child would be psychological torture for Laurie.”

“Reid. Look at that.”

“She’s got several missed calls and a few texts from social networking sites.”

“‘What’s with the photo? Halloween isn’t for months’.”

“Speak, boy wonder, behold my might.”

XD

“Garcia, the latest victim Laurie Burgin was writing something on the internet last night. Can you figure out what it was?”

“Yeah. I was just tweeting myself. Uno momento.”

She tweets? Damn. I love this woman.

“Oh, God. Reid.”

“She managed to take a picture of the unsub before she died.”

Oh shit.

“Can’t really make it out.”

“I can tell you more. Laurie’s account was active two hours after that photo was posted.”

“And continued posting status updates after she died.”

Shit. That dude is fucking sick.

“‘Feeling faint at heart.’”

“‘All alone and too scared to cry.’”

“All right, this isn’t good. He’s mocking his victims now.”

“He sat here tweeting while Laurie bled to death.”

“All right, baby girl, listen. I need you to go through Laurie’s accounts. See who was following her and see who was messaging back.”

“On it.”

“All right, let’s get out of here, let’s get back to Hotch.”

“We got a photo and we got a profile.”

“Thank you, Garcia.”

“We’re looking for a while male in his early 20s.”

“And because he’s stalking his victims, we believe that he either works out of his house or a part-time job.”

“This unsub strikes in the home rather than the outside where he could more easily abduct his victims.”

“Now, this tells us that his social skills are most likely lacking and he may not have the confidence to talk to women.”

“His confidence with killing, however, is growing. He’s gone from hesitant strikes in the victim’s home to painting the walls with blood.”

“Our unsub is developing a taste for the kill. And his victims share similar features and backgrounds.”

“And we believe that they represent someone whom the unsub thinks has wronged him and he’s taking out his rage on them.”

“Because the unsub shows signs of one neat aspect and started killing suddenly and effectively with no break, we believe he was recently incarcerated or institutionalized.”

“Look at men who got out a month or so ago. Their records will show a history of violence, anger toward women and/or symbols of authority.”

“We need to warn all young women to be hypervigilant, especially in their online acquaintances, but also with service workers, maintenance staff, and deliverymen.”

Hey! Assholes, don’t make fun of my superheroes!

“No, but tell them to double-check IDs, call dispatch before they let anybody inside.”“Panic is inevitable, but we still need to keep everyone informed. Uniformed officers are posting warnings across campuses.”

“Now, since the Jenkins family found Laurie online, we believe the unsub may be using similar methods …”

“Profiles, job postings, anything that gives a little too much information that the unsub could use to hunt his victims.”

“And time’s not on our side. We think that he’s already got his next victim in his sights.”

“The account tracks back to an email address he created yesterday morning, IP address leads to a public terminal. That’s where the trail ends.”

“What about the Jenkins house?”

“He was tweeting with her prior to the assault.”

“The unsub hacked into the Jenkins’ Wi-Fi network.”

“Pretty smart for a guy who’s been locked up.”

“Yeah, he has gotten good at covering his tracks. How are you doing on a list of criminal records and releases?”

“Oh, right, that. Okay. I searched local college students, which is a lot, and I’m a masochist, so I went ahead and included military personnel because San Diego has a big naval and marine presence.”

“Combine those with those two pools and he’s swimming in criminal infractions.”

“All right, filter out sexual assault and lewd behavior.”

“Filtering at the speed of light, sir.”

Someone give her writers all the awards.

“And what about background financials on the victims? Is there any evidence of jobs being performed under the table?”

“Actually, in all cases there were personal checks deposited from several accounts, most under $100.”

So babysitting isn’t that financially beneficial.

“All right, send a list of account holders, and, Seaver, when you get them, start making phone calls.”

“What am I looking for?”

Another brain? Because you’re looking at babysitters, activate those neurons.

“Any victims who might have worked as babysitters.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Shit. Fucking Strauss is sticking her nose in everything. Fuck.

“We’ve delivered the profile and the locals are canvassing the area. Did you call for a field update?”

“How’s that?”

Wait. So now he has to run an assessment on himself? Isn’t that against protocol?

“My orders were to assess the team.”

“Is that an order?”

“Ma’am, with all due respect, we’ve got four women dead and we’ll probably have another one by the morning.”

“She’s relentless.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Did he get another babysitter?”

You bet your ass he did.

“Who’s that?”

“They were locked in here all night?”

“I’ll meet you guys inside.”

So he locked the mom and the baby in the beddroom while he killed the babysitter and daddy? Fuck.

And now he’s just the cutest little puppy thing ever comforting that lady and being the most amazing hunky thing ever.

“Hello, Amy. My name’s Derek Morgan. I’m with the FBI. I understand you’ve been through a great ordeal. I’d just like to ask you a few questions if that’s okay.”

Oh my cutie polite puppy.

“Did you happen to see the man who came in your home?”

“It’s okay. Take your time.”

“Did you hear anything while you were locked inside?”

“Jake suffered multiple stab wounds to the chest and abdomen. The sitter, Lily, got the brunt of it.”

“She could be the one he’s been after all along.”

Wasn’t that the whole point of this? He hates brunette babysitters?

“I don’t know. This guy’s meticulous. He plans everything out.”

“Then why didn’t he know the Ellisons were returning?”

“I think he did. I mean, the unsub was watching the house. He knew that they came home, but he just didn’t care. He adapted.”

“He went after the biggest threat first. He eliminated Jake in order to gain control over Lily and Amy.”

“There are two initial points of attack, one in the hallway outside the nursery and the other one here. Yet, both bodies ended up together.”

“Look at the way they’re posed, directly looking at each other.”

“He wanted them to watch each other die.”

“I think it’s more than that. This change in behavior could be the piece that we’re missing.”

“This guy knew the Ellisons were home, but he struck anyway. He could have taken out the entire family, but he chose to spare the mother and the child. Why?”

“With the Jenkins, the unsub actually fed the baby. Here, he spared the mother and locked her in a room with her son. It’s likely he’s protecting the children.”

“The addition of Jake Ellison caused the unsub to change his methodology.”

“For the first time he posed the bodies, and he’s also sexually violated one of the victims.”

“Okay, we have a father posed to look at a dying babysitter and a mother and child protected upstairs. That’s a pretty clear message.”

“Garcia, search for local women who died in their early 30s and they’re survived by a husband and at least one son. Go back 10-15 years. Cross that with new marriage licenses filled by surviving husbands.”

“The unsub’s always been troubled, Garcia, so look for youthful offenders who would have fit into the sociopathic triad.”

“Okay, I’ve got a few.”

“What about …”

“Here’s one. Greg Phinney, Chula Vista.”

“He was put into juvie when he was thirteen for … threatening his stepmom with a knife.”

“What do we know about the stepmother?”

“Kate Jones, aka the second Mrs. Phinney. Married Greg’s father a year after Greg’s mother was killed in a car accident. Greg was 11 at the time.”

“Mr. Phinney died four weeks ago.”

“Is there any evidence that Kate worked in the Phinney home before the mother’s death?”

“Oh, the plot solidifies. Kate cited additional income as caregiver on her tax returns when she was a college student. Payments trace back to the Phinneys.”

“Kate filed numerous reports against Greg for violent behavior, experimentation on animals. Greg’s father finally put the kibosh on things when he was seventeen, had him institutionalized.”

“Greg was released two weeks ago.”

“Just before the killings started.”

“Garcia,  where’s Greg Phinney now?”

“Yeah, that’s a good question. Oh, dear …”

What?

“Greg Phinney, FBI. Open the door!”

“He’s not in here.”

Captain Hot and OBvious.

“The bedroom’s clear.”

“Baby girl, can you tell me why Greg Phinney’s laptop has an employee login screen?”

“Well, lover, I have been doing some digging.”

“Did you know that he’s been working part-time as a data entry clerk at the San Diego Register?”

“If he was in an institution, where did he get the time to find a job?”

“Uh, he didn’t even have to look. This job is part of his work-release program. And twenty hours of internet privileges will go a long way.”

“That’s how he finds his victims. He browses the classifieds. Did he have access tos the customers’ personal information?”

“Oh, honey, he entered it.”

“That must be Kate Phinney.”

“Well, he’s obviously built up the confidence to confront her.”

“Garcia.’

“Reading your mind. Calling the others.”

I love those two.

“Greg’s not at home, so he’s probably already at Karen’s house.”

“Kate’s the object of his hostility. He’s gonna take his time.”

“Let’s light ‘em up. I’m sure he knows we’re coming.”

“Dave, take some uniforms and find the back door. I’m gonna try to get inside and talk to him.”

“You think that’s gonna work?”

“I don’t think Kate gets out of this any other way.”

Oh boy, what are they gonna do now?

“Greg Phinney, this is Agent Aaron Hotchner. I need to talk to you about your demands so you can let Kate go.”

So he’s a serial killer without demands? Well, that’s weird.

Wait. He’s blaming Kate in all of this? Why?

“What has she done?”

“Greg, I think this has more to do with your dad than it is about Kate.”

“Your dad put you away.”

“Greg, I need to ask you a very important question. Do you want to live?”

Well, that’s seriously worrying.

“I think you do. And if so, you need to let me in the house. Otherwise I can’t guarantee that you’re gonna walk out of there.”

“Seaver, I want you to come in with me. Leave your firearm here.”

“Be compassionate and sympathetic to him. Let him tell you how Kate betrayed him and how much you understand his devastation.”

Heh, he’s pissed he brought in Seaver. But he can smooth his way into anything, can’t you, Hotch?

“I know, but I thought if we talked inside we could work this out ourselves.”

“No guns.”

No guns? Have you lost your marbles?

“As long as you’ve got a gun, if one of the agents outside has a clear shot, he’ll take it.”

Sneaky Rossi.

“I don’t have a line of sight.”

“Tell me what you want Greg.”

“Don’t you really want Kate to apologize for making your dad forget your mom?”

“Unless the next words out of your mouth are ‘I’m sorry’, I don’t want to hear anything else from you.”

WHOA!

“I understand, Greg. I do.”

“She took care of you. You trusted her. And then she betrayed you as soon as your mother was gone.”

Spider-Rossi! (Flexibility and stuff)

“It must have crushed you when Kate married your dad.”

“How did it make you feel, Greg?”

“You felt betrayed, didn’t you, Greg?”

“Ask her the question, Greg. Go ahead. Ask her.”

Wait. So this whole fucking thing was about him being in love with his babysitter-turned-stepmom? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

No. Fucking. Way!

“Bring in backup.”

“No. I had to be aggressive towards you in order to gain Greg’s trust. None of this is your fault.”

Aw, that’s nice of you, b;ondie.

“Greg has always been troubled. Losing his mother and then his father made him even more unstable. Sometimes we do everything right and we still lose. Greg was a sociopath and there’s nothing you could have done to change that.”

“Good work, agent.”

“Hey. Nice job, kid.”

I love Rossi so fucking much!

Adrienne Rich: “Every journey into the past is complicated by delusions, false memories, false namings of real events.”

What the fuck does that even mean?

“Why, uh, why the interest in the well-being of my team?”

“What kind of concerns?”

“What’s going on?”

So Erin has problems and she needs to go away? Finally.

Heyo! So this episode had everything! Humor, sarecasm, banter, cutie patooties making me smile, and then that whole bit iwth the unsub being a total nutcase. Just what the Dr. Spencer Reid ordered XD I have faith in this show again XD

Alrighty, I gotta go finish up the reviews for this season and get cracking on seven (holy shit, where has time gone?)

Thank you so much for the ever-surprising support!

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[spaghetticosplay]

Hetalia Day 2010

My original plan to cosplay as Steampunk!Italy didn't go as planned, because I hadn't finished my vest yet. My backup plan to be Seborga instead also failed, because I never started planning the cosplay yet...

But about a week before the event, I thought, "Wait, I have puppy ears and a tail that a friend made for me, plus a vest, shirt, and trousers that can go with it, plus my Italy boots just arrived! And Halloween is just a week away (plus it was a full moon yesterday xD ) I'll cosplay Werewolf!Italy instead!"

It was raining during my entire drive over, and I thought that it was going to rain throughout the event and we would have to be outside. But about five minutes before arriving, it stopped raining! Lucky~!

By the time I arrived, there were at least 10-15 people. There were two Romanos (one I called "fratello" (I think this was Moustache!Romano) and the other I think was "false fratello" because there could only be one brother xD ), Russia and Lithuania, two Chinas (I was allied with one by the "Pasta-Noodle Alliance" and the other kept pulling on my haircurl QAQ ), casual Sealand and Philippines, Greece and Yukata!Japan, Denmark, Cuba (with real cigars!), Canada (whom everyone else was calling "Canaderp"), some Englands and Americas (one was our leader of the group), and some casual non-cosplayers (including a casual Germany though she didn't have the actual costume :( ) and a little boy we called "Little Japan" because he was waving a Japanese flag around or holding older Japan's pikachu umbrella~ x3 At one point a Ukraine also joined us. There was also a really awesome Victorian!England cosplayer (who I think was the America in the Fanime 2010 masquerade, giving the history lesson) who was acting as a really snobbish England with gloves, and a cane xD

At the actual meet-up spot at the convention, we found a "No skateboards" sign that was edited to look something like this face ಠ_ಠ Also, the LED event screen appeared to be tampered with, and every once in a while, a small piece of text saying "FAN FAIL" appeared on it xDD

So once we arrived, America decided we move to the nearby park where we hung out the rest of the time. We got to play games such as "Spaghetti Spaghetti Meatball" (aka "Duck Duck Goose"). America’s version was "Hambuger Hambuger... (I forgot)" We also played a little bit of Ninja (I kinda participated, but because I was filming and taking pictures, I kinda snuck out of the game (LIKE A NINJA) Plus I didn't know how to play)

Then the game ended when we saw a Seychelles, Japan, and Korea coming, and most of the group ran up to hug them.

They were so cute~

Victorian!England also brought candy to share with all of us (It wasn't horrible btw xD ) and America kept trying to steal some xD America would also steal England's cane when it wasn’t being used, and mock England, it was so funny xDD And England would try to get our attention by yelling really loud "EVERYONE PAY THE BL**DY ATTENTION!!"

SONG INTERLUDE: (provided by the same channel for last year’s Hetalia Day)

We also did some group singing, such as “Marukaite Chikyuu” and “I’ll Make a Man Out Of You” xDDD Some of us did some dancing as well.

When it was lunchtime, most of us got to eat at an American restaurant. It took a while for the order to come, and some of the group got Japanese food instead, which I helped myself to. I got too full as soon as my grilled-cheese sandwich came so I saved it to later (I never ate it though...) We were also told to behave since we were out in public, and at a restaurant! The waitress serving us said we were really good! Considering what happened last year, that made me so happy!

Although it was raining a bit at this time, it was dry by the time got to do group photos. I’m sure better photos exist somewhere out there, but this is all I got.

It then started to rain AGAIN, so we moved into the convention centre, and it was weird seeing the place without all of the Fanime goers! Then it got dry and we went outside for a bit, but it rained again, so we moved back in xDD (Cuba called it "the curse of England" xDDD )

We played some games such as "Never Have I Ever" and "Truth or Dare". The first game ended when Russia and France joined our group, and we all ran up to greet them.

Some of the things that happened during Truth or Dare: Someone (I'm guessing Victorian!England) dared America to sing "God Save the Queen", who kept laughing during it, and even made a more rap version of it for not knowing the tune xDD

Denmark was dared to walk around femininely while being as lady-like as possible and say really girly things, but Russia said most of them instead xD

Cuba was dared to say "I love America" sincerely, but said it with the "I'm going to kill you" smile xDDD Russia was dared to hug America. When Russia wouldn't do it, America commented "Russia doesn't have the balls to do it" That's when Russia gave America a death glare and proceeded to pounce on America. America was dared again (this time by Victorian!England) to stop commenting for 10 minutes or else stand in a corner.

America failed xDDD I was asked Truth by Russia "What's the recipe to your favourite pasta?" and I said one of the ingredients was "Love" (commence “d’awww”ing xD ) Russia wanted me to answer Dare so that I could do a tail-wagging dance. Oh well! xD I then dared Fratello to "say 'I love Spain' without swearing" but replied "F*** NO!" and that's when it ended xDDD

There was some more dancing, but I was getting tired (it was 7 PM and I had school the next day) so I decided to go home. Everyone else who stayed had dinner at an Italian restaurant.

#hetalia day