trxthfxllx

[trxthfxllx]

[trxthfxllx]

A spring letter to myself:

My tears are all dried up, I’m am done with what has come & will come. I’m here, out here all alone - no one stopping me but the world stopping me from being who I can truly be. The world has its demonic, hurtful ways to shelter me, shelter people in. I just know, at the end of the day, I’ve got a BRAVE HEART & that keeps me going.

I don’t read fate, I don’t know where I will be 5 years from now, but I trust you will guide me - god, Mother Nature, my universe, mother moon. I’m learning to let go, but I’m always scared to not know what’s the outcome, but I’m always accepting of all change, a virtue given to me. Guide me to the light, my light. My ambition & my drive. Guide me to or remove the unwanted.

I feel burned, I feel tired. I feel used, I feel people easily get under my skin, never a trait of mine, but if this is the shadow work I need to remind me who I truly am. Do it, just don’t let me suffer God. I can’t live to the expectations of people because these people are corrupt & selfish in their own ways & I am not. I am a giver. I am love. I am the light bringer. Guide me & depart me from all evil mother moon.

Asé & let it be - as above, so it be below ✨

#spring equinox #spring #witchyvibes #warlock #a letter to myself #let me be

[trxthfxllx]

Sometimes life just feels like it’s a drowning situation. We need to learn to lift our heads & get out of those miserable situations we incubate ourselves in.

Aquacube

#life #trxthfxlly #lesson #life lessons #real life problems #depression #anxiety

[trxthfxllx]

This is the part that I feel & always am stuck the most. Whether the situation is little or big, no matter how people or circumstances play out, it’s always something bigger at the end of it all. Good or bad.

My mother always told me, careful with what you say. I’ve learned that as we speak we create spells, religion teaches you that whatever you confess shall be & others teach, manifestations & karma.

Feeling a sensation of euphoria as I take this project off its feet & into the air. Speaking nothing bad, nor am I perfect, but this is it.

#euphoria #new project #trxthfxlly #thoughts #late night #late night thinking

[trxthfxllx]

There's the context of what we go through in our everyday lives that sometimes feels like it's a bit much for us to understand, so we just go day to day acting glike there's no questions about who we are & who we are supposed to be. In my experience, being who I am & how I interact with people, I tend to think often, do people think the same as me, what's my purpose? Why am I awake today? Is this part of the purpose? What's my purpose?

I completely undertand the entity of where I could be wrong in this thought process, but it's hard to not even think the what ifs. What if where I'm at or what I'm doing is NOT supposed to be what doing? Am I wasting my time? Am I fulfilling this purpose that people talk about? What is my my fulfillment in this life? What's my lesson to be learned? Questions after questions, thought after thought, am I supposed to be this way? This think active?

All I know is that as much as people may think that I am an overthinker, I believe that sometimes is good to be this way, I think the good & the bad, the pro & the cons, ALL THE TIME!!

#thinking #just thinkin #thinky thoughts #life #lifeisgood #mental health #my thougts #thoughts #seriously though #truthfully

[trxthfxllx]

Truthfully…

ITS BEEN 21 DAYS. 21 DAYS SOBER!!!! 🎉

I celebrate this because I couldn’t go a day to three without having a drink since moving back to LA. I decided to go sober (to be honest, for now). It’s been a journey where either I drink & forget my limit or if I’m one to say, I’m drinking, I ended up drunk. I had to feel the drunkenness to feel something or to feel nothing.

It’s not that I don’t like drinking, I enjoy tasting & trying new drinks & wine, beers & spirits, I just can’t put myself in situations any longer where I am risking my life, in places I don’t know & forbid, dead because I’m too reckless with my mouth or just become promiscuous in the moment of pleasure & ask the wrong person.

I know we don’t live in a society where LGBT is in complete acceptance by everyone & anyone. That’s the scary part, that I forget about those things & again, end up beat up, stabbed or even worse, dead in an alley or river bank & be a statistic of a hate crime, just because I couldn’t control myself while drinking.

I do favor myself in most situations, but as someone who suffers the mental illness of depression & just anxiety from time to time, I need to be careful in what I do & what’s the intake on things I put into my body. Alcohol has not helped, but suppress my emotions, my struggles, my demons & above all, made my depression worse.

For now, I am happy with 21 days. 🥹

#truthfully #depression #soberlife #i am sober #honesty hour #self care #self love