unreal-blogs

[unreal-blogs]

Haven't posted in a while but I'm hyperfixating on noahfinnce and I have so much to say and I just want to scream it all into the void so here I am.

The new album is so fucking good. I've been listening to it on repeat for the last idek how long. My favourite song changes every day cause they're all amazing, there are so many little parts in each song that scratch my brain in just the right way. Plus neurodivergent representation in pop punk music? Catchy tunes about being autistic?? Count me the fuck in.

I've been following since he was just a youtuber posting covers, and to see him thriving like this, watching him going on massive tours and being so popular and cool makes me SO happy.

Tl;dr - noahfinnce is brilliant and makes fantastic music and I am very proud

#noahfinnce #music #im hyperfixating again #obsessed #actually autistic #neurodivergent #pop punk

[unreal-blogs]

[unreal-blogs]

In desperate need of love and affection today

#love #feeling needy

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Hurts like a bitch knowing he'll get away with it while I have to suffer for the rest of my life

#trauma #csa survivor #sa survivor

[unreal-blogs]

A ramble about chronic pain

I wish I'd known when I was younger that my pain was only going to get worse. It started with twisted ankles whenever I ran, my back going into spasm at random moments and being unable to move for several minutes, and random aches that I thought were growing pains but I now know were not.

Then my knees started getting bad too, and I thought it would get better eventually. By this point I'd been referred to an orthopedic specialist to see if there was something they could do to help.

After x-rays and blood tests they decided to try vitamin supplements. Then it was insoles because they noticed my feet were flatter than they should be. When those didn't work I was referred to physio, who looked at my legs and the way they moved, and decided that they couldn't do anything either. That was the day it was decided that surgery was my only option. I would have to wait until I was 16 for it.

When 16 rolled around, I was told that they'd decided to wait longer, until after my a levels, at 18. The pain was still increasing at this point, and I had to ride my bike to school every day because if I tried walking it ached and I couldn't stand it.

By the time I turned 18, the pain in my back reached a point where sitting for extended periods of time made me feel like I couldn't breathe, and I'd wake up some mornings unable to move because my hips were in agony. I was still getting those "growing pain" aches, but by this point I'd stopped growing and I was still hurting, which didn't make any sense to me.

Eventually, it was time, surgery was booked and I was finally going to get better. I just needed to get a little worse first. So I got the first leg broken, and recovered slowly, and the pain didn't get better. And I got the second leg broken, and recovery was even slower, and the pain still didn't go away.

We've just reached three years since the first surgery, and I'm not better yet. I had months of physio, and exercises, and painkillers, but the pain is still there. Worse than before my legs were broken. Some days my legs won't cooperate and I rely on crutches to be able to move around. Some days I think I'm doing well, and then my hip or my knee will hurt every time I take a step, and nothing I do will stop it. And some days I still get those growing pains, even though I'm 21 now and I've definitely stopped growing. Sometimes I feel more like an old person in a young body, like my bones are older than me.

#chronic pain #trauma #disability #disabled #leri weill dyschondrosteosis

[unreal-blogs]

[unreal-blogs]

Chronic pain is the WORST man like I'm just trying to do regular human things and my legs are acting like I've ran three marathons and dislocated my hip... Like can you just chill please??

#chronic pain

[unreal-blogs]

When you're trying to have the spicy fun and end up having flashbacks instead 🙃 did I seriously get cockblocked by my own brain??

#csa survivor #trauma #so frustrating #cockblocked

[unreal-blogs]

Finally getting therapy for the CSA I went through as a kid/me being unable to do the deed as an adult and I think my therapist has forgotten about me. I've been trying to get help with this for over a year, and now that I'm finally about to have my first therapy session my therapist is 40 minutes late calling me and I have work in a couple hours. So close to giving up at this point, I'm so fed up. Feels like the universe is against me getting help and it hurts

#sa survivor #therapy #trauma #vaginismus #csa survivor

[unreal-blogs]

Okay so I watched Geralds Game for the first time the other night, had no idea what to expect so was very unprepared for how triggering it ended up being for me as someone who experienced similar not nice stuff as a kid. A few things in the film hit me quite hard, this quote felt very accurate to my experience and it hurt a lot. But the ending really resonated with me, the ability to move on and use your past trauma as a way of changing things for other people in the future is one that I want to have. I may not be there yet, but eventually I hope to move on from my past too

“Because the people who were supposed to protect you from the monsters turned out to be the monsters themselves and it almost killed you.”

—Gerald’s Game by Stephen King movie adaptation

[unreal-blogs]

The other day, out of nowhere, I suddenly started doubting my bisexuality. In my head, I became convinced that I'd only done it to be cool. I just wanted to be bi, so I had pretended I was. And then I remembered that not only have I dated a girl (and a guy), but I also nearly cried the other night because I found a girl so attractive *facepalm*

#gotta love self doubt #bisexual #lgbtq

[unreal-blogs]

Oh my god I love girls. So much.

That's it. That's the post. I'm just very gay.

#biromantic #gay #wlw #lgbtq #girls

[unreal-blogs]

Tran’s website:

Source: UNILAD, VnExpress

[unreal-blogs]

Nellie: Help me with this crossword puzzle. I need four letters for disappointment.

Sweeney: Toby.

Nellie: *gasps* it fits

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For Your Consideration - I Dreamed A Dream parody

Les Miserables

I haven’t seen this on my dash so I decided to share this. :)

And also because I laughed too hard and cried at the same time because the singer’s voice is amazing.

[unreal-blogs]

Suddenly he’s here

Suddenly the fucking story finally starts

Can it be that John McJohn has arrived?

Yesterday I was alone (with Bishop Myriel)

Today a wild Breadboi appears

And this shitpost

That I call a blog

Has begun.

[unreal-blogs]

I recently watched Sweeney Todd for the first time and I've become a bit obsessed... Oops?