vangoghinthehead

[vangoghinthehead]

merry christmas (sad, angry, depressed, indifferent girls only)

#sad girls #sad girls only #merry christmas #my post #depression #indifferent #sad #angry #anxiety disorder #etc.

[vangoghinthehead]

i don't trust myself to be heard

#my post #my thoughts #my words #social anxiety #social anxiety disorder #adhd inattentive #adhd in women #audhd #audhd in women

[vangoghinthehead]

[vangoghinthehead]

i’m really amused at all the threats men make to women like “you’d be dead without men” or “you’’d have nothing without men” because they’re so fucking dumb, without men who would kill me? who would deny me access to food and resources? who would deny me jobs and positions and freedom of movement? who would be this imaginary threat that would get me if men weren’t around? do men think they’re presenting themselves in good light if they’re pretending there’s something much worse out there that would kill us all if they weren’t, you know, around, killing us?

let me phrase it the other way tho, if there was no men around after the moment i was concieved, I wouldn’t have been beaten up as a child, I wouldn’t have been raped by the age of 7, I wouldn’t have been harassed in public dozens of times, I wouldn’t have to be scared of going outside, I wouldn’t have to worry about what the fuck is government going to do now because government would be filled with women who would actually represent my interests, I wouldn’t have been going thru severe domestic abuse because nuclear family wouldn’t have even been a thing and I’d be born into a healthier and safer community.

If there was no men around my mother and grandma wouldn’t have been telling me terrifying stories of their fathers and husbands beating them and forcing them to do things against their will, if there was no men around I wouldn’t have been told that everything about my appearance and personality was wrong because men wont like it, I wouldn’t have been discriminated during entire education and job search, I wouldn’t have to spend my entire life without having a female only community, without feeling like I belong, I wouldn’t have to fret for survival, I wouldn’t have to be on constant alert for harassment and assault. I wouldn’t have to see thousands of women violated and abused in various ways on screen, women being objectified, ignored, put down, humiliated, ridiculed and hated wouldn’t be a normalized part of my life experience.

They’re trying to convince us that we need them but we don’t. We need each other. It’s actually terrifying for them how much we don’t need them, that’s why all the aggressive threats and insisting they’re vital to our survival, they’re not, they’re only vital to our imprisonment. We’re vital to their survival, but it doesn’t go other way around. They can’t survive without us. We thrive without them.

[vangoghinthehead]

why is it so impossible to be happy for more than 5 minutes? like contentment can last for a bit, but happiness?

[vangoghinthehead]

— Fiona Apple

[vangoghinthehead]

help all I do is think about how life is passing me by and I don't do anything about it

[vangoghinthehead]

is my perspective only my mental illness

#mentally ill #mental illness #bad mental health #depression #adhd inattentive #anxiety #my post #today i feel like #shitty thoughts #sad #confused #my thoughts #sadcore #who the fuck even am i #feeling like all i am is a walking set of symptoms #feeling like shit

[vangoghinthehead]

why does it feel morally wrong to spend all day in bed or at home. like i do it often but the whole time im wracked with guilt. it's literally not hurting anybody

[vangoghinthehead]

when i feel as though i am not existing, i want to exist, but when i feel myself existing i fear i do not want to exist

#anxiety #depression #existence #existentialism #my post #my thoughts #how do i live #how should i live #not sure what else to tag this #social anxiety #adhd inattentive #idk #just another wednesday

[vangoghinthehead]

i am too sensitive to be a person i feel like they took the heart and brain of a small prey animal and stuck it inside of me i am very dumb and very scared all the time

[vangoghinthehead]

Gripping my bathroom sink repeating I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone

[vangoghinthehead]

mentally ill and chilling in my room... all day... everyday... dying to do something productive... dying to be proactive... oh hey... a wall... my wall... i feel like a doll... i can't move

#mentally ill #social anxiety #adhd inattentive #anxiety #depression #executive dysfunction #bad mental health #idk #my post #depressed #edited

[vangoghinthehead]

girl who loves her friends so much but is so bad and awful at messaging them back for some reason even though she really really wants to talk to them

[vangoghinthehead]

So bad at texting it feels like war

[vangoghinthehead]

social anxiety culture is not speaking at all because you feel like everything you say is an inconvenience

[vangoghinthehead]

just say lol and move on 

#*has anxiety* #*logs on to [tumblr]* #*this* #ok bet #also #this place knows me too well