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Wasting Young
I sometimes think to myself if this is the life I really want.
I have been consuming the stupid ideas from Euphoria and I really wanted to talk about it with someone.
I'm twenty years old, alright? I don't really feel like it but it's a start. In the show everybody's partying, going out whenever they want, kissing people, spending time with the people they care about... But it also has a lot of sex scenes and addiction to different kinds of drugs. I don't want to get high or become addicted
but i just feel really boring.
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DI MI NOMBRE.
"que las cosas que me dices no salgan por esa puerta."
☆ poné tu cuerpo contra el mío y decime lo mucho que me amas. porque el amor que sentimos es tan, tan intenso que estamos seguros de que nunca lo vamos a encontrar en otra persona. ¿estás completamente seguro de lo que me decís siempre? ¿que solo tenés ojos para verme a mí? ¿que me vas a cuidar siempre? ¿que no podrías sin mí? decí mi nombre cuando no haya nadie cerca, y al oído decime cuánto me necesitás, todos los días.
♡ dime mi nombre a la cara.
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pretending that i'm not jealous
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In the most honest situation.
you must be grateful for all the patience i had with you until now. i still have but, what am i supposed to do if this happens again? what should i do if i feel scared or extremely sensitive and overwhelmed again?
i didn't know you were this kind of person. but i left all behind for you and i've always been very nice and lovely to you no matter what. so, why are you like this? you don't like me being myself? you want me to change anything?
you said you'll love me forever and that you wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't with you. believe me, i feel the same.
i want you to protect me. you protect me.
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(WYADT?}
i really dont know, dont even know where to start
everything i wanted to do i couldnt in there
my long hair dancing with the wind
but all my hopes lost, all my dreams broken
when i wasnt allowed to be there
they would kill me, kill me if i was seen there again
they did, they did. they killed my dreams
a hole inside my head, the warm of the blood
i tried to revive, revive myself
only then i realised
i was dead.
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I had me most interesting dream last night
I've already finished school but I was there. Classes were finishing and I walked around with Nate, a guy who seemed nice even though I never talked to him.
It was like a festival day, special day at our school and some students were going to give a concert. I had to walk through a very long corridor with bathroom doors and through the school's theatre-my school doesn't have a theatre, it was veery big- I wished luck to Pola, one of the most beautiful girls in my class. She smiled. I wish I could have made more friends when I was there. They seemed so nice and funny when they were together.
We took a bus and I realised somehow I left my bag somewhere, I was like "shit guys, I left my bad, where the fuck is it?". I remember seeing my ex boyfriend, he wouldn't say a word. Then I listened a familiar voice on the bus. It was Kate with her sister. I smiled and said hello.
I tried to get out of the bus, but it wasn't being driven anymore, there was an accident in the middle of the street.
I decided to go home by feet. Some trees were violet, it was a nice feeling. The sun was shining and I was calm. There was a tall guy near me, I knew him and he walked me home. We saw my boyfriend and said hi.
I don't remember anything else but a yogurt with oreos that I've bought before. Another nice feeling.
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“Death”
“ I don't know. I don't even have an idea why.
‘ What's going on in your mind? ’ ‘ Are you OK? ’ ‘ Are you bored? ’
But I'm scared. I'm scared as fuck nowadays. And even now... I just want to feel safe at home. I want to feel safe every time I go to bed. I want the fear to fuck off. Because... Why if I die? Fuck it! Nothing will happen. Don't panic, fucking bitch. It's like going to bed hoping to wake the next day. It'll be OK, you won't feel pain.
But... Fucking hell. I'm young. I don't want to die. I want to study. I want to make friends. I want to have a lover. I want to graduate. I want a family. I want to live. I want to live until I'm a 80-year-old lady laying weak on bed. I want to be loved.
I want to go home. ”
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I hate your room
‘ I hate your room. I hate watching your things. Your desk. Your pencils and pens. All your books and notebooks you own. I hate that I'm not like you. I hate myself because I am not as smart as you. I can even feel or see your future but where is my future? I can't see it. I feel like I don't have one. Perhaps I'm wrong but I can see you love paying attention with your studies and you're focused on it.
But when it is about me... I am writing this trash instead of spending time doing what I must and stop daydreaming about a perfect life.
Goodnight. I hope you rest well. ’
#daydreaming#daydreaming again#dreamcore#dreams#just daydreaming#letter#lost in a daydream#thinking#thoughts#letters
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No one
“Nobody will ever read
No one will ever read my mind and all those things I love keeping with me
I'm completely lost in my own mind.
It's been almost three months, I can't go outside, God, I wish we all could.
I keep writing inside my mind stories no one will ever read
Stories no one will care about
What is living? Is there life these days? Do you miss someone? Something? What should I do? And what should I stop doing?
Why the fuck would someone care about it?
Where is my fucking mind right now?”
#dreamcore#sad#letter#thoughts#thinking#dream#dreams#daydream#daydreaming#just daydreaming#lost in a daydream#daydreaming again#dark grunge
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Tiredness
“Tell me how to feel better, ‘cause you're the only one who ever made me feel something those days
Where nothing was important, where we could see those happy stars and we wouldn't cry every night
Now I am here, by myself, alone, at my own. Remembering your kisses and hugs, but most importantly, the way you used to love me. Angst, sadness.
Was it my fault? Was it my fault that you tried to go away from this world?
Should I stop thinking about you? It's been a year. So long. Goodbye.
I prefer staying in my dreams. I prefer daydreaming better things.
Better things and people than you”.
#thoughts#dreams#daydreaming again#lost in a daydream#just daydreaming#daydreaming#thinking#letter#dreamcore#quarantine#pensamientos
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