addictivepsychology

[addictivepsychology]

#bar #drinking #alcohol #club #dancing #bathroom #women’s restroom #graffiti #night #fun #love

[addictivepsychology]

So I work at trader joes and as some of you may know TJS sells Israeli goods. Breads, cheeses, snacks, wine, etc. Wellllll recently there's been a big crackdown on lots of stuff especially individual expression. They took down our whiteboards and made it so that we aren't allowed to write on anything. We usually have chalk board lockers we can personalize and those have been replaced with sterile lockers we cannot personalize. We are also no longer allowed to wear bandanas because they have been used to make "political statements." I'm assuming they're referring to keffiyeh. I'm assuming this comes specifically from corporate trying to choke back and keep us from talking about Palestine.

I don't have much to say or any call to action other than maybe contact your trader joes or trader joes corporate and let them know how you feel about the sale of Israeli goods in their stores. Maybe also complain about how miserable your local trader joes employees seem as well. This company is always pretending to be so hippy dippy progressive but it's all for show. Don't fall for it.

[addictivepsychology]

#snacks #trader joes #strawberry #ube #ice cream #cookies #pink #aesthetic #almonds #car #girl talk

[addictivepsychology]

When I tell you that you’re hurting me

But you say no, you’re not hurting me

Who’s there to help me and hear me and support me

#support #hurt #relationship #sad #love #annoyed #angry #feelings #writing

[addictivepsychology]

I’ve trusted that little item in my back pocket to keep me safe when I’ve been alone in dark roads.

I’ve trusted it to keep me grounded in times of panic and calm me down in times of anxiety.

It’s helped me gain friends and understand ones that I should leave behind.

It’s helped me become more in my skin and taught me that words are powerful.

It’s kept people away from me in times of worry and kept people close in times of crisis.

It’s always kept me company in times of loneliness.

Usually people are excited to get a new phone,

But it feels foreign

I don’t want to use it and I don’t want it to be there for me

I don’t want to switch

I just want to feel safe again

With my trusting little item in my back pocket

#poem #art #sad #difficult #iOS #apple #switch #I miss android

[addictivepsychology]

It's really hard

When I have the day off and you work late. I feel guilty for going home or leaving or doing anything for myself.

You want to hangout and you're willing to give up sleep. But that's unhealthy and I feel so guilty for everything.

I just want to live.

And I feel so distanced and disconnected from the outside. Being stuck in a room for hours knowing I have a timer until you leave, until I can do anything.

I dont want this guilt. I don't want this stress. But you'll never understand.

[addictivepsychology]

Sometimes I wish I could be totally honest, like so honest that nobody wants to hear it.

Like I can be so raw that my darkest and saddest thoughts won't scare you away.

I wish but that'll never happen. You're too good.

I wish I could tell you that I only ate 850 calories today and I wanted to eat nothing else so I could lose my ugly stomach. But I got taco bell to go up to 1150 because my head was too cloudy to go anymore.

I just want to smoke and drink and not eat so I can lose this stupid and ugly stomach.

[addictivepsychology]

I'm drowning but ill never let you know.

Please take my stress and guide me home.

Feed me comfort, take my shame

Be my peace

For once

[addictivepsychology]

Will I ever be happy?

Or will I try to live in my dreams forever.

#happy #sad #dreams #writing #diary #deardiary

[addictivepsychology]

Really fucking hate myself right now

And I can't tell anyone

I hate when people are too reactive

I cant be myself

I dont want to talk

Just express and be

Myself

[addictivepsychology]

I'm so fucking stressed out. I wish someone would just cook for me, take me to do my fair and nails. And just take me for a fun weekend. I'm so tired and exhausted and stressed. End of the school year is not fun at all, the kids are crazy and rude and physical. It's so frustrating and I have events, dinners, vacations, and work stuff to finish. It's all so overwhelming. I wish someone would take it over and help.

#work #hard work #school #stressed

[addictivepsychology]

the thunder was so loud this morning it scattered all my dreams or gifts from my familiar

boba brought back this tiny, witchy leaf from her morning hunt and delivered it to me at my desk. i'm putting it in her whisker jar while i figure out what it is for

[addictivepsychology]

[addictivepsychology]

#drinks #bar #pool #alcohol #wall #dive #divebar #friends #fun #2am #late

[addictivepsychology]

[addictivepsychology]

#disney #whale #monstro #story book #boat #canal boat #fun #night #cold #disneyland #peaceful

[addictivepsychology]

What the fuck. Really what the fuck.

Are we children and not adults with work schedules? I've had the same work schedule for almost two years now and you STILL insist you don't know a roundabout time I wake up? That's immature at the least. You tell me you'll stay with me until I get ready but I wake up alone. You say it's my fault because I said I'd wake up at 6, when my alarm is 6:10. You could've checked my phone like I would to you. Or you could've just waited, even just for a little bit.

But no. You got up at 6 and left within 10 minutes, with no time to even say good morning.

Obviously your priorities are somewhere else. And you get so stressed out with doctors appointments and your night job. Well I hate to tell you but you have control over your life. If you want to find a morning job, fucking do it. Quit waiting on someone else to help. Your methadone is so fucking important it can't wait 10 minutes and it's worth your priority over this relationship.

I know an addict is an addict.

But I didn't know methadone was such an addiction because you made is seem like it's not much.

You say I should admit my wrong. I told you 6 and not 6:10. You're smarter than that and I'd think you were so immature. You say you admitted your wrongs and we should move on, and that I'm blowing things out of proportion. But to who, to you? I'm too emotional about this? To who. Only you. What about how I feel? Why you have so many promises that aren't done. So many empty sayings.

They've built up over the years.