#(will say that ime the feel of natural fibers is just. better.)

[aeide-thea]

06-07-23 Why Patagonia helped Samsung redesign the washing machine

Samsung is releasing a wash cycle and a new filter, which will dramatically shrink microfiber pollution.

Eight years ago, Patagonia started to study a little-known environmental problem: With every load of laundry, thousands (even millions) of microfibers, each less than 5 millimeters long, wash down the drain. Some are filtered out at water treatment plants, but others end up in the ocean, where fibers from synthetic fabric make up a surprisingly large amount of plastic pollution—35%, by one estimate. Fragments of your favorite sweatshirt might now be floating in the Arctic Ocean. In a collaboration that began two years ago, the company helped inspire Samsung to tackle the problem by rethinking its washing machines. Today, Samsung unveiled its solution: A new filter that can be added to existing washers and used along with a “Less Microfiber” cycle that Samsung also designed. The combination makes it possible to shrink microfiber pollution by as much as 98%.

[…] Patagonia’s team connected Samsung with Ocean Wise, a nonprofit that tests fiber shedding among its mission to protect and restore our oceans. Samsung shipped some of its machines to Ocean Wise’s lab in Vancouver, where researchers started to study how various parameters change the results. Cold water and less agitation helped—but both of those things can also make it harder to get clothing clean. “There are maybe two ways of increasing the performance of your washing machine,” says Moohyung Lee, executive vice president and head of R&D at Samsung, through an interpreter. “Number one is to use heated water. That will obviously increase your energy consumption, which is a problem. The second way to increase the performance of your washing machine is to basically create stronger friction between your clothes . . . and this friction and abrasion of the fibers is what results in the output of microplastics.” Samsung had already developed a technology called “EcoBubble” to improve the performance of cold-water cycles to help save energy, and it tweaked the technology to specifically tackle microfiber pollution. “It helps the detergent dissolve more easily in water so that it foams better, which means that you don’t need to heat up your water as much, and you don’t need as much mechanical friction, but you still have a high level of performance,” Lee says. The new “Less Microfiber” cycle, which anyone with a Samsung washer can download as an update for their machine, can reduce microfiber pollution by as much as 54%. To tackle the remainder, the company designed a filter that can be added to existing washers at the drain pipe, with pores tiny enough to capture fibers. They had to balance two conflicting needs: They wanted to make it as simple as possible to use, so consumers didn’t have to continually empty the filter, but it was also critical that the filter wouldn’t get clogged, potentially making water back up and the machine stop working. The final design compresses the microfibers, so it only has to be emptied once a month, and sends an alert via an app when it needs to be changed. Eventually, in theory, the fibers that are collected could potentially be recycled into new material rather than put in the trash. (Fittingly, the filter itself is also made from recycled plastic.) When OceanWise tested the cycle and filter together, they confirmed that it nearly eliminated microfiber pollution. Now, Samsung’s challenge is to get consumers to use it. The filter, which is designed to be easily installed on existing machines, is launching now in Korea and will launch in the U.S. and Europe later this year. The cost will vary by market, but will be around $150 in the U.S. The cycle, which began to roll out last year, can be automatically installed on WiFi-connected machines.

#microplastics #textiles #laundry #environmental #science #patagonia #samsung #i'm. so excited. #also i HAD been silently judging patagonia a little for their heavy use of synthetics but. they ARE walking the walk actually. #(will say that ime the feel of natural fibers is just. better.) #(like. wool has an astonishing ability to keep you warm-but-not-sweaty at a bizarrely wide range of temps) #(whereas like. the synthetic fleece tops i still have are like. immediately cozy‚ sure‚ but you WILL get sweaty if you get warm) #(like being in‚ you know‚ a plastic bag!) #(so like. even if they Fix the Microplastics Problem i have no regrets abt switching my allegiance to woolens) #(but. still fucking THRILLED they might fix the microplastics problem.) #does make you feel like. i'm unavoidably a humanities person but. what are humanities ppl doing that matters this much. #like fundamentally if you really want to do good in the world you probably SHOULD become a scientist of some kind. #that said‚ science would almost certainly not be improved by my participating in it‚ so like. what can you do. #really hugely awed by & appreciative of scientists tho. #anyway. obvs this is really just a press release and we gotta see how this plays out but. #!

[milkweedman]

TDF DAY 15

I know i said i was gonna start in on the merino/silk top, but yesterday (posting a day late again. What can i say, ive been sleepy) i spent most of the day reorganizing my fiber stash again, and by the time i was done i didnt want to do that much spinning. Im sort of thinking i might save that for my post tdf 'fucking around spinning expensive shit badly and for fun' extravaganza. I also ordered the last 12 ounces that i need (really i only need 8, but im hoping i can remove the most egregious outliers from the lineup and keep those skeins for something else) so hopefully i wont be waiting on it and can just spin flax till im out again.

I'm enjoying flaxspinning a lot more than i was in the first week or so. Feels a lot more natural, and i dont have to put quite as much effort in.

Also, i broke into the new stuff at the very end of this single, and discovered it's, uh, way better quality than what i had. So a third of my yarn is gonna be shitty quality flax. I think im gonna use two skeins alternating every other row when i knit the blanket, so the transition from skein to skein shouldnt be too noticeable. But also, wow, the new stuff is so nice. Almost no chaff at all. Not sure if i was buying from a dodgy vendor when i bought all that flax a few years ago, or if quality is improving just generally, but it's nice either way.

#spinning #handspun yarn #flax #tour de fleece #tdf 2022 #also making batts today. one big batch. seemed like a good idea at the time although now ive spent 2 hours on it #and im barely halfway through. im sure drum carders are way faster but. ah well

[blodofring]

Do you have any advice on how to connect with nature/feel a spiritual connection to it?

Thank you for the question! sorry for not replying earlier, been down with a cold for a couple of days.

i think listening to your senses and honing them, all the time, but especially in nature. listening to the sound of the forest, the feel of the ground beneath your feet, the smells, tastes and the feeling in your gut. i believe the gut feeling is a direct link with the source, and one should grow that feeling in a society that says to subdue it.

Spending time in nature, especially barefoot/touching nature with you bare skin is something i view as very important to stay connected. i very much believe in earthing/grounding and the health and spiritual benefits that comes with it. feel the energy flow enter and leave you, you really feel it tingle if you focus on it. i think wearing rubber soled shoes and polyester plastic clothing isolated us and keeps the energy from flowing freely. wearing more natural fibers keeps your vibrations high. and even when spending time in a city i try to ground myself, touching trees etc to stay connected to the earth.

spending time with nature is also very important for me visually. looking at how everything is made perfectly and grows according to perfect mathematical equations is the perfect example of how god/creator/mother earth creates everything with perfection. everything flows as it should. even just a plant gowing in your windowsil is a perfect creation to be admired. staying as much away from modern square buildings, esp glass buildings as possible, those are really harmful for your souls. and if you are in a place where there isnt a lot of nature around, spending time in old traditional buildings and especially religious ones can be a really good substitute. even if you arent following that specific religion, the buildings are constructed with healing mathematical formulas that affects your body in a very positive way.

listening is also very important to me. listening to the ambiance of the forest, or even putting my ear up the the trunk of a tree and listen. a lot of things are told without words and they have a lot of wise things to teach. especially the big old oaks have seen a lot.

for me its the forests that i feel the most connected to, but for you it might be the mountains, beach, prairie etc.

also doing nice things for nature. picking up litter, removing invasive plants, giving offering etc. after doing those things i often feel a warm presence when im in nature, like someone thanking me. i also tend to feel lucky the next couple of days, like the universe is working in my favour. talking to the small folk/nature/ancestors also works, as long as you are repectful about it and dont nag them too much. you can ask for quite a lot and you will receive it, as long as you give a lot in return i've experienced.

so id say, listening to your body and staying grounded is one of the most important things for staying connected with the earth. we are a microcosmos, as above so below, the better one is at listening to oneself, the better one will hear the whispers of nature. especially for women, learning to listen to our body's cycle in a society that doesn't take that into consideration at all is super important. not hating any stage of it, but recognising how incredible it is, even if it feels uncomfortable. i've found that a lot of my bodies struggles have eased once i started listening to it and worked with it instead of against it, which later has translated to all areas of life. this also certainly goes for men as well.

also trusting yourself and what you believe in. you can pick as chose what you want to follow and focus on, dont feel like you have to follow all the rules for any religion/lifestyle etc. you know yourself best and what works for you. borrowing and learning from all kinds of different people is okay.

this was a little jumbled, i think i'll make a couple of posts at a later date, going more into depth on different topics.

#ask #nature #spirituality

[viciousewe]

I have so many spinning projects to finish but I had to stop and mess around a little with the icelandic fleece.

Initial observations:

1.) my combs do an ok job separating the thel and tog I would say 80% of the tog comes out which is good enough for me. (I went in planning to spin whatever comes out regardless)

2.) however my combs are complete ass for the thel alone. I kinda knew this since one of my current projects is blending merino and alpaca and it also struggles on the merino. I’ll be spinning the thel from the cloud most likely. Although I did struggle through combing just to see and the smoothness of the carded yarn is lovely.

3.) the fleece is very minimal in veg matter and the lanolin is so good on my craggy winter hands. Gonna spin in the grease. Eco friendly! (It’s from ravenhoovesfarm on Etsy.)

4.) some cursory reading is telling me that they used to use thel for weft and tog for warp. Im still kinda scared to use a handspun warp but the tog makes me feel better about it it’s so long and strong. I was a tiny bit hoping to make lopi yarn but I’m not buying any new fiber tools, and what I have separates the thel and tog reasonably well so I am spinning to weave most likely.

5.) you can see it a lil in the picture but the thel is a much more brown color than the tog with bits of silver mixed in here and there. I love natural sheep colors. Might over dye it purple. Might not.

6.) it’s a good thing the alpaca and Merino project is for a vest because I want to get into this fleece soooo bad.

7.) speaking of blending I wonder if the much longer alpaca will blend into the tog better and share some lanolin too to make a decent sock yarn.

#knitting #yarn #handmade #spinning #handspinning #handspun #wip #wool #work in progress #hand made #fleece #sheep #Iceland #icelandic #Icelandic wool

[anoms-world]

im sorry you feel this way about me my free spirit has died over and over again because its trapped and cant see no options around its not that i dont have negative side its just bring back bad memories so i would block emotions completly its not bc of you as you think its just happened and i dont know how and im gratefull for that its gave me so many mental aptronaties

they tend to way too serous about lttle details not they fake emotions through playing feelinf and thinking and being silent they fake how they feel throug playong emotions and being lowd they way too short tp that they choose to pretend fake emotion most the time they patint so they choose to pplay fake feeling blindly most the time limitet eneregy leve;bc the fake emotion yet nn replay bitteness toward themself and others sometimes without realising high eneregy bc feeling doesnt requde energy yet their real feeling replay guilt toward themself and others sometimes without realiseng objective personal

they well never considirate aor sympathithy with you even if they did cause they will considare about what appeal to them and its about them self after all considerate in a silent way as a pleaser or considarete in loawd way as a teaser and it doesnt help each ather as they wish to believe

never ever tell them about what bother you they will use it againt you espicalyy if you are a mouse then you know what i mean you well run overe and over again try to please them all as pleasing your self to finally you are running from yourself seperated by their complete influence and not by an ego seems this is the price of not having an ego you become seperated and lost or afraid

i feel happy for doing what i want for the dirst time it feel nice to defens myself sometimes sense i dont do that alot wondering about the price the unknown price the things i doubt were true all this time

salt water before (morning) potasium protien food (egg or date)(no salt no kidding when breaking fast) nnnn fruit is the best for breaking prolonged fast or protien for normal fast

(AFTERNOOON) sugar first (if fruit) or protien or non/ white carbs coffee/sugar (thiamine in oat help metabolis carbs) nnn around early work out (fasting or not) with carbs with protien or sugar no fat mmmmm chromium grean tew cinamon two days seperately full fast capsaicin curcumin green te never mix carb and fat it increase dopamine addiction hyper fat unless u r active seems bit ok

(night) little salt fiber less carb and lastly fat food (salt caused acne for some reason) cacao spiking insulin ok here nnnnn work better with fasting work and heat more fiber to adapt fat potasium water while fasting

seeing alot of 1111 not sure the thoughts im receiving mine or not for some ppl asking for help is like asking for hell with way much attchn that make you regret beside your pain is completly ignored with their blind selfish noisy loud enerigitic storm oh asking for something else aaand doubled the storm lmao oh ask for something else and you will be insane and maybe you will be attacked with way much pleasure then they just wondering why after the attack loool its just like saying my foot hurt and they will step on it while ignoring the whole thing and maybe lough if they notice aaaand ignore again they really believe in themself huh looks like an active massive ego on the play to me yet too clever to comberhence i really wonder about my ego i have a weird shaked one that doesnt get me anywhere even if tryed yet feels good on rare ocatin and thats enuogh for me not greedy after all yet love to talk it through an emotional ego without natural act its just skrewed on so many level to be attacked even before to think about it almost like animals and noises if we dont considerate at all i wonder alot about the need to attack someone even when no one there or being obssesed about something and want to share when no one there why activies arent allowed here to feel better and become better verstion i wonder if being weak is better for some type of ego unless they running from their mental ego and think its ok to attack others with action they were extremly rude wen i was wek hurt my small hope that i send toward them

feel it let it go dont trust it when it confidant wispering and hungury talk to it what did you ecsept after that? everything doesnt matter right? you are scared why are you afraid of your own death and words? am i doing it wrong? am i weak? did i break time? are we all gonna die forgetting? i dont want to forget so thanks for reminding me you are the blind answer without question so you rushed blindly to question and im sorry for that for forgeting your matter its bc im weak and at the edge and there are not much to forget or to question beside being trapped irl therefor trapped mentelaty which chance do i have? when i need many chances not only one so if something tryied to shake the mentaly with nonsense no obbjective matter will only drive it insane like as if it was possesed its always have been a thoughts of broken passion of chained map to find if not somewhere all i ever needed were chances and silent part er that doesnt mention my weakness only every while as claiming to be helpfull somehow lmao at zero point we all back to be the based animal we were dont be mad and have fun lol disapper and good luck gues what they steped on you whole now and guess what you screamed cant take it anymore and they threatned you with more now nothing is protected and at peace as we like to think espically when you stuck with other pure animals spirits oh and commencation about what bother you doesnt make it any better WTF its almost like casting a quick spell on yea quick you dumb angry aand slow almost want to live in the roof if i can i just want to hide now from loudness beside dreaming about chances and silence cant find my rythem and natural routine anymore without being attacked by others having my sugar level high and losisng apitite a mouse after all a real mouse with little noises a language no one can understand.. seems its written to fight tho i hate it just to be in peace like just now being here being exist (i was lucky by uniq spirit oh that other spirit dousnt shut it at all) when nothing to lose as much they afraid to lose reputaion and hope aaand almost everything that why blocking everything was way much easier not for them sshh its just a matter of time for new order new born new run new play nothing change just new screams new dreams' ut funny she asked me if simething hurt yea my pride want to live alone to have some privacy or have permenat death 621

she hurt me everyday that i dont even recoginize when i am upset with her

some ppl just dont want any good for you or even considaret

and rather want to control you even when you weak

i lost my emotional innecent way too soon with them some ppl are way too imaginative about what they want its terrifying that send me to permenant dream state to save me from myself from the blind one

[nerdygirlwithanxiety]

Ok with creeps put aside for a second I'm about to show you characters in my opinon deserves better that's mixed fandom because fucking hell I'm bored 10 being the least one being the most;

10

Motherfucking grossman - dumb and blonde or is he oblivious (* very*) he * from my understanding * found his parents dead and instead of going for help because hey ' what if they find my horror collection and think I'm the murder ' (*facepalm*) he made a deal with a demon to be the greatest killer the world and the underworld has ever seen...even tho he's a dumbass sorry sweetie love you tho <3

9

We literally don't know much about her ( thank you newer volumes for finally talking about the queen) other then she's ruby's mom and yang adopted mother who raised both girls better then raven ever could ( don't say anything about the DC comics I hadn't read those yet!!!) Amd how she went into a mission by ozpin and mysteriously died * starts playing red like roses two*

8

....she actually does deserve the worse but at the sametime...she lost her lover way to fucking soon, the gods were trying to obey the laws of nature ( which made say say push even more) and as punishment turn salem immortal where she try to commit suicide multiple times. At least until she jump into the puddle of darkness like Anthony did. God damn it what is with edgy characters and jumping into puddles of darkness I couldn't decide to put her at ten or nine. Because let's be honest she lost EVERYTHING even her sanity!

7

Junior..babe...why the FUCK DID YOU FUCK MANDY??? I MEAN SERIOUSLY! LOOK WHAT THE BITCH DID TO YOUR daughter/neice?? I feel like it's my family situation where I thought my uncle was just a family friend but oop plot twist my uncle is my biological dad (* user note; I have sever daddyissues help*) LIKE CMON WHY QUEEN BIT- well actually woth how much of a whore mandy is in the comic....I'm not surprised you'd fuck her BUT STILL!? can't believe you don't have good standards AND ILL SAY WHY IN

6

Abused by her mother to become a weapon minnie actually stole back her power from junior because he proved to ' not be worthy of such power ' when he showed more mercy and sympathy towards the nergal species * or as I call em on the blog symbiotes * this is most likely to show proof to her mother she's not a failure or whatever

5

Fuck you I'm bringing GIR rip off into this; Chuck is literally one of the best characters in PASWG because well..its Chuck! But poor guy every episode gets killed off/beaten up for comical relief reasons. He's basically the Kenny *south park* to the show

4

Ahh my two favorite girls; Satsuki Kiryuin and her baby sister Ryuko Matoi. Force to split up as babies ( isshine taking ryuko faking their deaths to escape and Ragyo keeping satsuki) to later become pawns to a war they shouldn't be apart of to begin with was used as testaments to fuel with life fibers ( worked 100% for ryuko and 1-99 % for Satsuki) Satsuki grew in a abusive household ( ragyo touching her daughter) while in the matois home isshine neglects ryuko so he could make senketsu in his lab, grew into two different households and lives one was stuck thinking her sister died while the other was not aware her future rival was her sister all along. Im so proud of these two girls at the end

3

I'm gonna be real woth you guys; I was gonna put him at two and frankie three since hey His FATHER LITERALLY STOLE HIS SEMBLANCE AND ABUSED HIM 24/7 TO TURN HIM INTI A WEAPON but honestly with how much wasted potential * I still love my husband tho* RT gave him I'm putting frankie at the honorable mentions

2

You guys have NO idea how happy it makes me to have THIS SPECIFIC CHARACTER APPEAR ON THIS BLOG spoiler as to why; hehe daddy Kurosaki Like yeah sure idk much about him since I hadn't played birthnight ( I want too so fucking badly) but I know enough of him thanks to the wiki and crosstag to put him in 2; Gordeu is one of the most laid back and carefree characters you'll ever meet; however there's a Darkside about this King of Greed * wasn't kidding when I said to some that he's important* he was a former member of team Amnesia and a highly skilled mercenary ( or in this blog; one of the most powerful Reapers out in the underworld realm) that actually also works at the bar had actually lost his best friend and end up having sever suicide thoughts and depression

1 * this is gonna shock you *

Fuuck you this man deserve to be happy. I mean cmon he lost THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE!! and if anyone watch no where home you all know why I'm sobbing even more. HIS brilliance is incredible and everything about him is. So. Fucking. Cool. I'm so happy they had his original actor play him ;^;

#creeps comic #will grossman #kill la kill #ryuko matoi #satsuki kiryuin #dr octavius #chuck paswg #panty and stocking #rwby #summer rose #mercury black #Salem RWBY #Gordeau The Harvester #underbirth night #grim tales from down below #minniemandy #nergal Junior

[yuthoe]

Day 6: Muse (MONSTA X: Lee Minhyuk)

REPOST BC IT DIDN'T SHOW UP IN THE TAGS LAST TIME

i was wondering when i'd finally miss a day of this challenge HAHAHA, but here it iiiisssss! today's prompt is

Day 6: Artist & Model

from this prompts list. i cheated a bit, using a short story i submitted to a creative writing class in college, but i edited quite a bit of it (in the original, the guy is bound and the artist is a woman) bc i wanted to make the reader as gender neutral as i could.

this story is kinda my baby, but at the same time im tired of looking at it by myself and letting it rot unseen in my college files lol. it's probably still horrible tho, even if i did get a relatively high grade for that class HAHAHAHA. i'm putting all of it under the cut bc we going RIGHT TO IT

PAIRING: Lee Minhyuk x reader. GENRE: smut (bc there's bondage and ~feelings~), fic. WARNINGS: bondage, ropes, gagging, mild suggestiveness. WORD COUNT: 1,501.

---

Minhyuk loops the rope one last time around your wrists, the white cotton startlingly bright against your skin. The series of crisscrosses start from your elbows down, secured with a small knot you can easily pull on if you want to unravel the whole thing. Your arms are pulled back behind you, looking almost suspended in movement; the rope gives no leeway, no space to move even an inch.

“How is it?” Minhyuk asks, moving on all fours on the bed to check for any signs of discomfort on his friend’s face. It’s almost a relief to be looking away from the ropes, if he’s being honest. If he weren’t so worried about this being your first time with bondage, he’d probably just sit there and stare at the intersecting lines and patterns the ropes make, the way they dig into the plush of your arms. “Are you good?” he asks again, swallowing.

You shift and squirm, the sheets rustling underneath you as you adjust your position. You open and close your hands, move your shoulders to try and dislodge the ropes, but they won’t budge. While Minhyuk was securing you in the bond, you didn’t feel a pull at all—he was very gentle, and you were even worried the ties would be a little loose.

Obviously, that isn’t the case now, as here you are—donning shorts and a tank top, a gag in your mouth, and your arms securely tied at your back.

Your eyes meet Minhyuk’s and you nod, impressed and a little scared that your friend group’s resident funny man is the kinkiest person you know because, with the way the ropes are tied, the way he walked you through the whole process… it’s like he’s done it before, and multiple times.

But while the sudden realization is scary, it is also very, very hot, so you’re not complaining.

“All right, just stay like that,” Minhyuk says, and you watch him hop off the bed and scurry to the corner of the room to drag the broken-in armchair across the floor. He shifts it this way and that, just out of your field of vision, miniscule adjustments that he insists helps him sketch better. It isn’t the first time you’ve modeled for your partner, so this is all familiar territory.

The ropes and the cloth between your teeth are new, though.

You inhale deeply. Exhale. You try to make yourself comfortable in the pose Minhyuk directed you into, sitting with one leg tucked underneath the other like a mermaid. You’re definitely gonna be sore later.

The springs squeak in the armchair, and you see Minhyuk tucking himself into the seat while flipping to an empty page on his sketchbook. You ground yourself on the familiar sight; he really is pretty, with the sharp jaw and piercing eyes. Sometimes you wonder what it would be like to have any artistic talents, so you could draw him too. Alas, the best you can do to replicate his image is a stick man.

“You still good, Y/N?” he asks, and without waiting for an answer, starts sketching. You hear the faint scratches of the pencil on paper, some light and long, some quick and short with a fuller sound.

It’s quiet, as Minhyuk is always quiet when he draws. He told you once that the silence is calming, the sounds of nature and graphite on paper helping him concentrate. You don’t know how long it’s been since he started sketching—your phone is on the desk at the opposite wall, and the clock’s batteries have run out.

The rhythmic scratching of Minhyuk’s sketching overtakes your senses, makes you doze off. You only notice when you start drooping forward, and you have to stop yourself from plummeting face-first into the mattress.

You shake your head, shift slightly to wake yourself up, and—oh.

Shivers wrack your body. Your arms, stiff with disuse, tingle as the ropes dig into your flesh, and you tense as if trying to break free of the bonds. You feel the resistance of the rope and try to breathe in deeply, keeping the oxygen in your lungs before breathing out slowly. Your back curves forward as you exhale and you struggle keeping in the moan that threatens to erupt from the feel of the rope.

Minhyuk notices the movement and pauses his sketching, moving his canvas out of the way to peek at you. “You okay there, Y/N?”

You take in another deep breath and nod frantically, still facing the direction of the desk, still sitting there how he wants, obedient and pliant.

The next thing you know, the hair that’s fallen into your face is brushed away, and you lift your head to meet Minhyuk’s concerned face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

A shaky nod.

“Really?”

Another nod, more resolved.

“We can stop if you want.”

You shake your head.

Minhyuk purses his lips, weighing whether or not to continue, and you feel a little guilty for worrying him, but you’re overwhelmed!

Finally he sighs. “Think you can wait like, five minutes? I’m almost done, babe.”

You let out a muffled “mhm”.

As soon as Minhyuk steps off the bed, you take another deep breath to compose yourself.

God, his fingers in your hair felt nice. Has it really been that long since you had any physical contact? It took everything in you to not lean into his touch, to not let out a sound, to not disobey him and keep still.

You close your eyes and crack your stiff neck, trying to relax once again. You will your breathing to slow and your body to move back into position, long enough for Minhyuk to finish the sketch. But with each second that passes, with each scratch of graphite that reaches your ears, it gets harder and harder to keep composed.

You can feel yourself sweat, and your thighs are shaking and tired from keeping your position. The rope restricting you feels tighter, its fibers digging into your skin—or is that just your imagination? Has it been five minutes or five hours? You’re not sure.

You take another breath—Is Minhyuk done yet?

The bed dips and you open your eyes. Minhyuk’s dark brown eyes look back at you, satisfied and grateful.

“You were really good, baby, thank you,” he says softly. A hand cups the back of your head and the other pulls down the cloth gag, leaving it to hang around your neck. Minhyuk leans forward and quickly kisses you on the lips.

“Can I get out of these now?” you said, voice hoarse and scratchy from disuse. You try swallowing spit, but it only makes your mouth drier.

Minhyuk snorts. “The sketch looks great, thanks for asking,” he jokes and rolls his eyes. “No joke, though, you look really beautiful like this.” He slowly, gently lifts you up, giving your aching thighs a reprieve and settling you on his lap. You feel his warm hands rub and massage your tender flesh as he smiles at you. “Kinda wanna just have my way with you right now.”

You whine, “You’re killing me here!” and he just answers with a laugh. You squirm, trying to loosen the ropes, but your muscles are jelly. You’re still wound up from being in the ropes too long; you just want to get out of them and hold him again, press kisses into his face and run your hands through his silky hair.

Minhyuk isn’t helping either—his hands are everywhere, squeezing at your waist, running over your still trapped arms, cradling your neck, slipping under your shirt. His lips are at your neck, pressing kisses up your jaw and your ears, further amplifying your need to just touch with your own two hands.

Is this what the girls feel like in all those pornos? The heat, the haze, the feeling of feeling everything and nothing at the same time?

“Man, you knew what you were doing when you asked me to model for you,” you say, voice catching on a moan as he lightly nips at your ear.

Minhyuk chuckles and pulls away, smooths a thumb across your lip. You tremble in his hold. “So…? Wanna have a go? We can just try it out, but if you want to stop in the middle, we’ll stop.”

Would you even want to, though? In the event that you say yes and play out a scene, would you really, voluntarily choose to stop?

Do you want to get out of these ropes? Yes. But do you also want to see what Minhyuk is going to do with you in these ropes?

… Also yes.

There isn’t a doubt right now that you’re really, really absurdly curious as to what Minhyuk has planned for you.

You take a deep, shaky breath and lick your lips, anticipation clear in your eyes. “Okay,” you say, letting him take the reins. But still, you press closer and give him a kiss as you whisper, “I’m all yours.”

#kdiarynet #monsta x smut #monsta x minhyuk #minhyuk #lee minhyuk #monsta x minhyuk scenario #monsta x minhyuk imagine #minhyuk scenario #minhyuk imagine #monsta x scenario #monsta x imagine #fic: mine #fic: minhyuk #fic: spicy #theme: may trope mayhem 2021

[notanacousticsetcal]

speak now - luke hemmings

summary - based off of the song speak now by taylor swift -- highly recommend listening before reading for the full experience.

warnings - none? nerves and kind of public speaking

word count - 1.6k - lyrics not included this time, lemme know if you guys prefer that

a/n - im SO sorry ive been MIA, i have had absolutely zero motivation. this is some trash i wrote a while ago and i thought i would post it while im trying to find inspiration to write something better. its the 5th installment of the song series so you can go check those out as well if you want! also, like i said in the word count, i did not include the lyrics this time around. i think i prefer that but im not sure, let me know if you guys want me to include the lyrics next time and i will! thank you for reading, i missed yall.

***

Your mom’s old pale yellow dress didn’t fit as well as you had hoped but you had no other options, formal events were not a common occurrence in your life. The wedges pinched at your toes and the thin dress straps dug into your shoulders but the soft yellow complimented your skin and you liked the ribbon around the waist so it wasn’t a total loss.

You sucked in a sharp breath, adjusting the dress once more in the mirror before grabbing your purse and hustling out the door. 

This wasn’t happening. You weren’t actually doing this. The girl who feels like she has to throw up before public speaking and stutters over small talk and avoids eye contact at all costs is supposed to stand up in front of 100 people and declare her love for the boy getting married to someone else? You felt nauseous thinking about it.

But you couldn’t sit idly by and watch the love of your life say “I do,” to the snobby girl that put gum in your hair in middle school. If there was ever a time that you would stand in front of a crowd voluntarily and speak, it would be now.

The venue was beautiful. The church had vaulted ceilings and large stained glass windows that cast colorful shadows on the hardwood flooring. There were cascading white curtains and pale pink tablecloths with little white doilies. It was pretty but humble and you felt a pang of jealousy in your chest.

Concealing yourself in the crowd wasn’t difficult considering she’d invited the county and all its neighbors. Everyone was in the pews standing and mingling and you noticed the only group sitting quietly was the family of the bride herself, all looking around carefully like the normal folk were unevolved cavemen. They wore coordinating lavender outfits with done up hair and hats with little feathers -- something straight out of a period piece. 

You rolled your eyes at their judgmental nature and apparent superiority complex before your attention was drawn to the boys in the front row talking seriously among themselves, dread written clearly on their faces. 

Calum, Ashton and Michael wore similar black tuxes, looking uncomfortable in the formal getup. You only watched for a few moments before you caught Ashton’s attention. He first looked shocked but his expression quickly became sincere. He gave you an apologetic smile which you returned before heading to the back to avoid any more curious eyes. His family would surely recognize you if they saw you and you didn’t want any extra attention on you until you were subjecting yourself to it. 

As you waited for the ceremony to start, you stared fondly out the window at the snowy trees and calm serenity of nature before allowing yourself to be whisked away in a vivid daydream about what it might be like to tell him how you truly feel. 

You jumped, pulled from your daydream by dark, heavy chords coming from the church organ. You cringed a little as the horribly ill fitting song continued, but readied yourself for the ceremony to begin. 

The silk purple curtains concealed your figure enough in the back of the church and your heart rate began to rise. This was happening. You were about to profess your love to a man who might turn you down in front of everyone and their mother. But it would be worth it. You couldn’t live your whole life wondering “what if?”

You heard a squeak of door hinges from your right and held still. Any sudden movements might give you away. 

A young girl came running through with a wicker basket in hand, poorly distributing rose petals along the aisle. Something caught your eye in the front of the room. 

Luke stepped out, front and center, and straightened his tie. Your breath caught in your throat. He looked just the same as the last time you’d seen him on that warm summer night. You had expected some drastic change, to not even recognize him. But it was Luke. The same one that picked flowers with you at recess and stopped to wait for you whenever you needed to tie your shoe. The same one that was always there to dry your tears and to watch dumb romantic comedies with you without complaining. He stood there quietly, clean shaven and rosy cheeked, the same Luke you knew and loved. 

You pushed away the more upsetting memories, like the one from that warm, sticky night. The image of his tear stained cheeks and pleading eyes. 

Moments later, your eyes were pulled from Luke. Courtney came strutting through the open Mahogany doors, waving like she was fucking Queen Elizabeth.

You rolled your eyes at her bedazzled ball gown and fake pageant smile. She didn’t care about Luke, she cared about image and reputation. Which is why you were really about to piss her off.

You looked back towards Luke and tried to read his expression but it was stoic, unmoved. You wish that was me, don’t you?

Courtney reached Luke and shot him a wide smile, to which he returned. Except Luke's was empty, not sincere. Luke had always thought Courtney was beautiful and smart and made the decision from there that marrying her wouldn’t be so bad. After you had turned him down in the glow of the firelight on that July night. It broke him and you hated yourself every day because of it. You weren’t ready to love him then. But you were most certainly ready now. 

Ready to risk everything for that blue eyed boy. 

The ceremony progressed and the preacher neared the end of the formalities. You felt your time was nearing. Your knees were weak and knocky, your hands shaking. 

The preacher paused, and with his booming voice said “if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.” He looked down, preparing to move on and read the next portion, assuming no one would protest. No sane person ever protested. 

Your breath hitched in your throat. It was now or never. If you didn’t find it in you to step forward at this moment, the person you love most in this world might be gone forever. 

The room fell silent and you closed your eyes, pushing the sheer curtain aside and taking a shaky step forward. You heard heads turn and a few audible gasps.

When you opened your eyes, everyone had turned to you. Every familiar face, every friend, every stranger.

You caught Courtney’s eye and she looked as if every fiber of her being was on fire. If someone reached out and touched her in that moment, they’d get a 3rd degree burn. She looked like she was trying to strangle you with her eyes.

You flattened your dress once more and looked up, bracing yourself for the look on Luke’s face. 

He didn’t look angry or upset, just… confused. And surprised.

You took that as a sign to continue. You softly cleared your throat, speaking directly to the man in front of you. “I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion but you are not the kind of boy… who should be marrying the wrong girl.” There were some shocked whispers and appalled gasps but you ignored them.

You walked forward down the aisle to get a clearer look at Luke and stopped at the stairs. You felt like you were alone with him now and it made it easier. “So don’t say yes, let’s run away now. I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door. Don’t wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out.” You looked at him with pleading eyes and for the first time, his facade fell. You saw the glint of relief in his eyes and the slump of his once tense shoulders. 

Luke looked around once more at all of the people that had gathered there today for him and knew he needed to make a decision. He turned to look at his friends stationed behind him, and to no surprise, their faces were lit up with pure happiness and relief. He couldn’t help but smile back at them. Calum threw him a thumbs up and Michael mouthed “go with her, dumbass.” 

Luke turned back to the audience and spotted his mother in the crowd. He tried to read her expression but when she gave him a soft, curt nod, he knew what he had to do. 

He quickly grabbed Courtney’s hands and your face immediately fell. He was going to choose her after all.

Then, he whispered something you didn’t expect. “I'm sorry, Court. This is a mistake, you don’t love me and I don’t love you — you and I both know that. We can’t do this. I have to go.” He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek quickly as she stood, frozen.

You felt a pang of guilt. But then you remembered that she would get over it and be marrying someone filthy rich by the time she was 25 and didn’t feel so bad anymore.

Luke then turned back to you. He jogged down the steps and pulled you into a hug. It was so silent in the church now, you could hear a pin drop.

He grabbed your shoulders and kissed your forehead. “Let’s run away now, I’ll meet you when I’m out of my tux at the back door.”

You nodded, tears in your eyes, and ran towards the double doors of the church. This was the best decision you had ever made.

You stood in the crisp, chilly air, waiting for Luke to come out of the door on the side of the church. Snow fell on your hair and eyelashes and you reached out a hand to catch some flakes. 

In only three minutes he’d managed to change back into his black skinny jeans, looking like himself again. You could’ve cried at the sight.

“Hi,” you said. What else do you say to someone when you just got them to call off a marriage at the alter?

His smile grew and he ran forward, nearly tackling you in a giant hug. His hands found the back of your head and his eyes searched your face, memorizing every feature, worried that at any second, he might wake up from this amazing dream. “So glad you were around when they said speak now.”

taglist (dm or ask to be added!): @theshyspy

#luke hemmings #luke #luke 5sos #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #calum 5sos #ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #michael clifford #michael 5sos #calum #ashton #michael #fluff #smut #5 seconds of smut

[villainscomplex]

could cry just thinkin about you

anyway i actually started working on @asanoyaweek21 like halfway through july after i finished my camp nano word count, but then i tripped and fell back into my princess tutu pit and ,,,,,,,,,,, yeah im late already 

anyway asanoya week day one: soulmate au / the broom bc i will never get over the homoeroticism of the broom fight 

Also on: AO3

Wattpad

FFnet

Quotev

-----------------------------------------------------------

When Nishinoya Yuu is a child, he’s a coward. 

He’s little, and there’s this ever present bundle of fear and anxiety writhing around in his chest. It means he’s scared, he concludes, and so he cries when he rides a bike for the first time, and then when he gets lost in the woods near his house, and then again when he comes across a dog bigger than he is. 

It’s strange, he begins to think, as he grows. He’s sure that feeling must be his own, but sometimes he’s suddenly, explicitly happy, and sometimes when he thinks he should be happy, he’s so painfully sad that it aches in every fiber of his being. 

When he’s eight, Yuu scrapes his leg from knee to mid-shin when he falls out of a tree. The pain is the first sensation he’s aware of, arm twisted awkwardly beneath him where it’d made a futile attempt to cushion his fall. Underneath it, concern spikes, bubbling with that familiar chill of anxiety. Yuu is too busy thinking about how much his arm and leg hurt to give it too much thought at the time. 

Yuu is eight the first time he breaks his arm, and the cast itches so much that he’s tempted to tear it off the moment it’s on. Yuu is eight when he’s sitting in the passenger seat of his grandfather’s car, a cast on one arm and ice cream in his other hand. He thinks the scrape down his leg is going to leave a nasty scar, but it’ll look cool and he can tell people whatever he wants about its origin. 

“You don’t seem excited about your ice cream,” his grandfather remarks with a little chuckle, lips tugging up.

Yuu huffs. “I am! I’m super excited!”

He thinks he is, at least. Yuu loves ice cream, and he always gets excited when he gets it, but that tugging little concern is still nestled deep in his chest and Yuu doesn’t really know what to do with it. He’s so used to it, like second nature, but somehow it feels foreign nowadays. 

His grandpa laughs again. “I bet your soulmate is worried about you, always causing yourself trouble like this.” 

Yuu stares back at him, ice cream halfway to his mouth. “Huh?”

“Your soulmate,” the man says again, “everyone’s got one. Not necessarily romantic, mind ya. You can feel their emotions. It’s a little inconvenient sometimes, but you miss it when it’s gone. You’re always hurting yourself, so your soulmate is probably worried about you.”

Yuu thinks about his grandmother. His memories of her are faint, at best. He’d barely been old enough to remember her face when she’d passed, but he remembers how strange his grandfather had acted after, like something was missing from the core of his being. Yuu thinks about the word  soulmate . There’s someone out there meant to be in his life specifically, and he’s meant to be in theirs. Yuu thinks about the little bundle of emotion in his chest, and he realizes that must be his soulmate.

He hadn’t thought to try and distinguish them until now, but it has him tracking his memories back as far back as he can, seeking that feeling in them all. Sure enough, the anxiety is ever present. Sometimes, it’s duller than others, muffled beneath other emotions, but it’s always there. 

“I think my soulmate is a scaredy-cat,” Yuu announces, and then shrieks when his cold ice cream drips onto his exposed knee. 

His grandfather laughs, and Yuu whines as he shoves the top of the cone into his mouth in a futile attempt to save the rest of it. 

When he’s a child, Nishinoya Yuu is a coward. When he’s eight, his grandfather tells him about  soulmates  , and Yuu thinks  my soulmate is scared of everything.  It keeps him up that night, staring at the ceiling in a way that feels too ancient for a boy his age, but he’s come to a conclusion. If his soulmate is a scaredy-cat, then Yuu will just have to be the brave one for the both of them. 

He tries to reach out to that little bundle of feeling with his resolve, wanting to sooth the turmoil there. It doesn’t change, but Yuu is determined. He’ll become strong enough for the both of them, and then he’ll protect his soulmate so they never have to worry again. 

“From now on,” he tells the air, sitting up and jumping off his bed, “I’m going to be the bravest person ever! Then my soulmate will never have to worry again!”

His bravery starts by yelling past his bedtime. He tells himself that he isn’t scared when his mother shouts from the other room, he’s just being respectful by listening to her and crawling back into his bed, hiding under his blanket. If his heart is pounding in his ears, then that’s a secret between him and his soulmate. 

With his new resolve, Yuu grows. He becomes bold and eccentric, loud and outspoken. He becomes a lionhearted boy, too much brilliance to fit inside a body as small as his remains. He becomes stubborn and strong-willed, never backing down from a challenge regardless of how much trouble it will get him into. Yuu embraces everything he has to offer, but he refuses to be sad. 

That ever present pit of broiling emotions is constant, nestled deep in his chest like a second heart, and he doesn’t want to make his soulmate worry ever again. 

Some days, it’s calmer than others. There’s times he nearly forgets it’s there, in the wake of some other hesitant, but excited emotion, and there’s times where it’s so strong that it wakes him even from a dead sleep. Those nights are the worst because he  knows  there’s nothing he can do as is, and his soulmate is having to suffer alone. 

He tries to encourage them as best he can, wondering if they feel his emotions as strongly as he often feels their’s. 

Yuu is in his last year of middle school when things begin to change. He’s taken to volleyball like a moth to flame. There’s something about being behind everyone like the final line of defense, the one everyone depends on to keep the ball in play; it’s thrilling, keeping his blood rushing in his veins and his heart pounding in his ears. 

He wins an award, and he’s so full of pride that he nearly misses the faint little swell of happiness that comes from that bundle of feelings in the back of his chest. Maybe his soulmate does feel his emotions just as strongly. 

The first time he meets Azumane Asahi, Yuu doesn’t think much of him. His hair is a little past his ears, curling up beneath the lobes and sticking up in the back like he’d recently been laying on it. His first impression is that Azumane looks as if he’s waiting for the entire world to come down on his shoulders. He easily dwarfs everyone, but he stands with his shoulders curled in, hands clasped complacently in front of him and gaze down, as if trying to avoid notice. 

Yuu isn’t sure why, but it pisses him off, seeing someone who looks as big and strong as Azumane looking like such a coward. 

He says as much to Azumane’s face exactly a week later.

Azumane balks. “What.” 

Yuu puts his hands on his hips. “You’re huge and super strong, but you act like a total coward. You look like a skittish dog or something!” 

“A dog…” Azumane visibly slouches lower.

Yuu would say his dejected expression is almost comical, if it hadn’t been the exact opposite of what he’d been wanting. Azumane reminds him of how he’d been when he was a child, anxiety ridden and glass hearted. 

“Okay!” Yuu announces. “We’re gonna practice together!” 

Azumane doesn’t even get out a response before Yuu is towing him back towards the court, determined to teach this boy the ways of reckless bravery and intense practice.

Yuu doesn’t know when or where he lost the plot, but somehow this becomes second nature. He finds himself seeking Azumane out in the hallway, barreling into the larger boy, or towing him behind himself from time to time. He meets Ryu and he meets Kiyoko; the former becomes his friend early on and both boys adamantly say they’re crushing on the latter.

It feels like a performance. Yuu knows Kiyoko isn’t his soulmate. She’s gentle and anxiously soft-spoken, but not in the same way that his soulmate feels like they should be. He doesn’t admit that maybe there’s this half formed idea about Azumane tucked away in the back of his mind, and everyone is better for it. 

He wants to be sure. He has to be. 

“I think I should trim my hair soon,” Asahi remarks offhandedly one day, when they’re leaving practice.

Yuu watches his fingers card through the wavy brown strands, a little contemplative frown fixed on his face. He tries to imagine Asahi with short hair like most of the others, and the image just won’t come to mind. Maybe he’s biased.

“No way, Asahi-san!” Yuu grins, reaching out to slap the other man on the back. “I think long hair suits you! It makes you look kinda wild, don’t you think? It’s cool!”

Asahi slouches into himself a little, curling a strand of hair around his finger. He hums noncommittally, allowing the strand to fall away, but he doesn’t comment on Yuu’s words. He just looks a little more thoughtful.

Yuu is only a little surprised when he really  looks  at Asahi one day and his hair is just past his shoulders. He’s got a little facial hair now, too, and something about it makes him feel more mature, older, like he’s finally growing into himself. Yuu takes a running leap onto his back the moment he sees him in practice that afternoon, and Asahi hardly sways beneath him. 

The realization settles in; this isn’t going to last forever. He won’t always be able to be with everyone like this. Asahi has grown and filled out, fitting into the broadness of his shoulders. He’s steady and unyielding, and Yuu isn’t sure when he started to become something like this. 

That pit of anxiety still lingers in his chest. It wavers, sometimes. 

They go against Date Tech. Their defeat is crushing and miserable for everyone involved, but when Asahi doesn’t call out for the last spike, Yuu feels it like an anchor in the hollow of his chest. It’s painful, near suffocating, and he can see the sheer weight of it coming down on Asahi’s shoulders. Those negative feelings swirl up into his chest again, fought only by his own fury - fury at Asahi, for not calling for the spike. 

Fury at himself, for not retrieving them. 

He hates it. 

“Why won’t you blame me?” 

Yuu feels the anger before he witnesses it. This is his confirmation, he’s sure. There’s no doubt anymore; these emotions living alongside his own are Asahi’s. The first time he feels Asahi’s anger, it feels cold, like ice in his veins. There’s something sad about it, something self-sacrificing, like Asahi wants to shoulder everything and leave nothing to be spared for the rest of them. His fury comes like a wave of ocean water, painful when it enters his lungs.

Yuu turns on his heel. Asahi stands - no, Asahi hunches - in front of him. He looks like he had when Noya had first met him, shoulders curled into himself, back bent like the world itself is coming down on it. Maybe it is, this time. Yuu doesn’t know if Asahi has realized that they’re soulmates. Yuu doesn’t know if Asahi would even accept it. 

Asahi doesn’t seem to be in a very accepting mood right now, and Yuu is in no mindset for motivation. 

They fight. They fight before they’re even anything, before Yuu can say anything, before he can even confess to himself that he would have been willing to leave his soulmate behind for Asahi, even if the other boy hadn’t ended up being them. He doesn’t tell Asahi how he used to be a coward. He doesn’t tell him that the reason he works so hard and never stops moving forward is because he’d made a promise to both of them a long time ago. 

He doesn’t tell Asahi that he’s terrified to lose him.

All he knows is that if Asahi’s anger is like ice, then his is like flames, raging and all-consuming. All he knows is that he’s furious, and he’s yelling, and then there’s a  snap , and suddenly everything goes cold. Asahi’s feelings drop to the pit of his stomach and become cold there, and Yuu feels like the tightrope he’s been walking has finally given way. 

Ryu holds him back, and all he can do is watch Asahi walk away. 

He doesn’t cry. 

Asahi doesn’t show up for practice the next day, and his lack of presence doesn’t go unnoticed. Yuu corners him in the hall. He feels like this is starting to become a cycle now, arguing and fighting over trivial things. It’d be easy to solve if Asahi just had a little more faith, but Yuu knows better. He knows how Asahi feels too well. 

Yuu doesn’t care what others think. He bleaches his hair because he thinks it looks cool. When people tell him he’s too loud, he gets louder. He refuses to be looked down upon and spoken over. He’s been in detention more times than he can count, but it never stops him from repeated offenses. 

Yuu doesn’t care what others think, but when Asahi walks away from him, it feels final. It feels like the end of something that never began. Nishinoya Yuu never cries. 

(The people in the hall that day are silent witnesses to his tears, but nobody says a thing about them.) 

Yuu isn’t much for thinking, so he spends all of his time in suspension doing, instead. He works and works and works some more, trying not to think of Asahi turning his back on them. On him. All he can do is hope Asahi will come to his senses by the time Yuu is back. 

He doesn’t. Yuu goes back, and Asahi is still gone, so he leaves again. He loves volleyball, but he won’t be a part of it if it means leaving Asahi behind. Asahi may believe that he’s unnecessary, but they all know better. 

It isn’t until he’s staring at the broad expanse of Asahi’s back again in the practice match that he really  realizes,  and for the second time, he feels like he’s really seeing Asahi. He sees someone who is trying for the people he cares about, someone who is finally learning to try for  himself  and he thinks  that’s all I wanted.  

They fix the broom together. 

“We’re soulmates,” Yuu tells him, so abruptly that Asahi’s surprised flinch dislodges the two pieces again. 

Asahi glances down. “I know.”

Yuu stares at him. “What.”

“I know,” Asahi says again, gaze soft and hesitant. “I’ve known since we met. You aren’t exactly quiet about your emotions, y’know. I never said anything because you liked Shimizu. You deserved better than someone like me.”

“Asahi-san,” Yuu intones, “you’re the  only  person I’ve ever liked.”

“What.”

“Oh my god.”

When Asahi laughs, it lights up his whole face. Yuu stares for a long moment, watching Asahi’s shoulders tremble. He feels Asahi’s relief wash over him like a second skin, settling into his bones themselves. The warmth of his joy is like a blanket. 

“Well,” Asahi says, “I guess we’re both a little dumb then, huh?”

“To be fair,” Yuu huffs, “I didn’t realize till after the Date Tech match.” 

Asahi laughs again, and Yuu thinks that everything is going to be okay after all. Asahi is finally starting to have some sort of belief in himself, and while Yuu knows his doubt and anxiety won’t go away overnight, they’re taking baby steps. 

And if Ryu and Daichi give Suga and Kiyoko ten dollars each when they admit their newest revelation, then nobody is any the wiser. 

#azumane asahi #nishinoya yuu #asanoya #asanoyaweek21 #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #my writing #marimo writes #back to my princess tutu brainrot brb

[eviefrie]

and also while im at it (sorry to annoy you but sewing is where all of my passion and energy has gone to for the past two years at the expense of all my other hobbies. love the adhd experience.) once you start sewing, id say after a couple of months, you become UNSTOPPABLE like you dont wanna buy the shitty mass manufactured clothes because you know that you could make them FIT YOU out of MUCH BETTER QUALITY SUPPLIES or even buy clothes AND THEN TAILOR THEM TO FIT YOU. OREVEN RECYCLE OLD CLOTHES

yeah!!! i have some sewing experience (a machine, i did some classes and theatre costuming when i was younger) and like it’s SO fun but i don’t have room for my machine where i’m currently living and def no room for fabric 😔😔😔

i feel you so hard abt the clothes thing tho. i am currently deep into the crochet rabbit hole and i haven’t gotten to garment making Yet but i really go to the extra effort to use natural fiber yarn when possible just bc the thought of putting more microplastics into the world when i could work with real wool (or cotton, or hemp or linen but those are harder to find) is…insane? and also i just love wool it’s so nice. and it drives me CRAZY that it’s hard to find nice clothes, esp. pants, that aren’t made from polyester or smth and i would love to like, be able to make my own jeans and stuff. to say nothing of how much i hate measuring/cutting fabric bc scissors are my Enemy

hopefully someday!!

#also king i’m obsessed with you starting this with ‘and also while i’m at it’ #when as far as i know we’ve never talked before #casper 2021 #askbox #anonymous

[neerasrealm]

Im re-reading the JasonxZalgo headcanons and thinking about how the confession went. Do you think you could write that specifically?👀

This was supposed to be an angry love confession but instead it devolved into fluff and crying OOPS. But uhh wow I really like writing jalgo. Or maybe I just like fast paced affection idk man

Hating your boss is a universal experience. This I'm sure of. If you don't despise your boss with every fiber of your being, you're in the wrong career. And if you're self employed...erm- go fuck yourself I guess??

But I think very few people can relate to despising your boss because he refuses to stop hugging you from behind while you're trying to get work done. Oh that's called sexual harassment? Hm. Well we don't exactly have a HR department considering we don't have an office and we live together. Alone. Oh well. 

My boss is a man named Zalgo. He's tall, with copper brown skin and soft brown hair that's tipper with orange and red. He's charming, suave, intelligent, oh so handsome, and also an all powerful god of destruction. Yeah, weren't expecting that one now were ya?

Right now I'm sitting at my desk, trying to work while Zalgo stands behind me, leaning his full weight on my poor back and humming as he nuzzles his face affectionately into my neck. He's always affectionate and it drives me crazy in both the good and bad way. I adore the warmth that spreads throughout my body when he touches me. I adore the feeling of his palms running down my chest and the sounds of him humming and giggling just inches from my ear. But I also hate it. I hate the way my stomach lurches when he affectionately purrs my name. I hate the way he looks at me and I hate the way he makes me feel. 

If it were anyone, anyone else I'd be overjoyed at feeling this way but...it can't be Zalgo. He's- well...Zalgo. An all powerful god, a being so far above me and...a man. Zalgo has never addressed it but...being a god shouldn't he know? How bad it is? What would happen if someone, ANYONE from the human race were to see us as we are now? Reveling in the warmth of love's young touch, melting against and into it like the warmth of a fire. 

He hums again, his breath feels warm against my neck and it makes me break out in goosebumps. His hands hold my hips as he stands up, his warmth and weight moving away and leaving me colder but with better posture. 

"Take a break, Jason." He says, his voice smooth and cheerful. I don't want to argue with him, so I do as I'm told. I sit back a bit and Zalgo quickly moves to my front. He sits on my lap, my fucking lap and runs his hand all over me. Down my front, my back, my chest. He grips my hip with one hand and intertwines our fingers with the other. He squeezes my hand and nuzzles my neck. My breath catches in my throat and my body shudders. 

The sensation of being touched is overwhelming. He's so warm, so soft. I can't stand it. I can't! He's too kind, he's too beautiful, he's too perfect! Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't it have been anyone else? And why me? Why does he shower me, of all people, with all of this unwarranted affection and words as sweet as honey? What did I do to earn him…?

"Jason…" he breathes against my neck. Delicate, strong hands unbutton my shirt and his lips press against the flesh of my throat, gliding down and pressing kisses against me, blocking air from me for only a few moments before moving away again. I say that like it's possible to breathe with Zalgo kissing up my throat, nipping and sucking on my skin like he owns it. He chuckles against me, a low soft noise that sends butterflies through my stomach. 

"Zalgo…" I breathe above him. All I can see of him is his strong body moving below me, and the top of his hair. It's so...soft looking. My hand, the one not gripping Zalgo's like a vice, moves up and I run it through his hair. It's as soft as I thought it would be, and running my hand through it feels so, so good. God I- I could stay here forever, just playing with his hair…

"Jason." Zalgo repeats again. I hum softly. He pulls his head of soft hair away from my hand and I look down at him. He stares up at me with deep, golden eyes and I feel myself falling into them. Falling into the colour, into the way they shine, falling into the confident, charming grin on his face, falling head over heels in love all over again. And every time it feels so painful knowing it'll never go past this. Never go past these nights in my workshop, where I'm left just dreaming for something more than this. 

His hands delicately cup my face and he leans in, pressing his forehead against mine. Our noses are touching. He's so close, I can feel every part of him against every part of me but it still isn't enough. I want to feel his arms around me, I want him to hold me tight against him, I want to feel his lips against mine, I want to hear him purr my name and tell me all the feelings I know he doesn't have for me.

"Zalgo." I whisper to him. His eyes open, bright and gold, staring straight into me. I melt against him. He's staring at me, calm and patient. I just- I just want to tell him everything I feel for him...the way he makes my stomach do flips, the way his touch sends goosebumps across my skin, the way I hear his voice in my dreams. The words are there but my mouth won't speak them. All I can do is let out a hoarse croak that's supposed to be sweet nothings, like the ones Zalgo gives me so casually. 

"Jason?" He moves away from me, suddenly looking worried. "Jason are you crying?" He asks me oh-so-gently. I gulp and blink. I didn't even realize- my eyes had started tearing up, stinging as tears roll down my face. I gulp. "What's wrong?" His hand runs through my hair. 

I love you is all I want to say. I love you but it's not possible, I love you but you're a god, I love you but I can't because we both had to be men. Guilt ties a knot in my stomach and makes me only sob harder. 

"Jason, Jason dear it's okay." He breathes. I sniffle, whining like a child. "What's wrong?" 

"I-" my voice sounds high pitched, feeble and scared. I swallow thickly. "Z-Zalgo I…" I can't say it. I can't I can't I can't. Zalgo's hands hold my face again and he looks at me. Those eyes, those damn golden eyes are so full of love and compassion and I hate it. 

"...I know." He whispers. I inhale sharply.

"Wh-what?" 

"I know." He repeats. He wipes a tear from my eye and I sniff weakly. I don't understand I don't- what does he- "I love you too, nounour." 

And that breaks me. That was the final fucking push I needed to break into pathetic tears. He always knows how to make me cry, doesn't he…? 

His arms wrap around me, holding me close. It's nothing but more shame. I'm weak, cowardly, I burst into tears so easily, and now I'm being held and comforted and shushed. He's rubbing circles into my back, murmuring his sweet nothings again. I love him, I love him so much and he knows that. 

So is that why he's kissing me? Is that why he moved over and pressed his soft, warm lips against mine? Is that why he's kneading against me, his hands cupping my face? Is this it…? Is this the dream I've always been chasing? Or is he just placating me? 

"Jason." He murmurs as our lips part. "You're the closest friend I have ever had. You're the person I trust more than anyone," he caresses my jawline, his voice soft and so loving. "I love you...dearly." 

I stare up at him. "...is this a lie?" I breathe. It's bold, calling his bluff like this, but what do I have to lose now? 

He shakes his head. "Never." He replies as he leans down and kisses me again. "...not about this." 

Somehow I believe him. Somehow I believe he genuinely cares about me...somehow, I can believe, Zalgo is capable of loving someone like me. And that’s why I melt into his kisses and let him hold me tight for what feels like hours. Our lips melt so naturally together, our hands feel so perfect on one another like they were always meant to be that way. I love him, well and truly, and he loves me too. It’s something he has told me time and time again but as I lay in bed next to him, staring into his eyes, it’s not something he even has to say...and neither do I.

#creepypasta #jalgo #jason the toymaker #zalgo creepypasta #zalgo #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fanfiction #writing #ask #zilia1938

[aeide-thea]

i did not engage with black friday but the absolutely relentless barrage of emails from various retailers about their sales! sales! sales! has had me thinking a bunch abt Shopping nonetheless

and like. there are a lot of things to be said on that front but specifically at the moment i'm frustrated with the way in which my own human failings (ADHD mainly) and also reqs/prefs make it difficult to be as good about things i care abt as i'd like—which frankly is a statement that's true far beyond the scope of this post, lol, but specifically i'm thinking abt like [cut for length]:

i've been contemplating microplastics with dread/frustration/shame and wanting to move towards natural fibers, which also just feel and perform better—but the reality afaict from my reading of reviews is that with actual t-shirt-thin 100% merino,¹ even if it says it's machine-washable, people find that it develops holes within, like, one season of wear, if not significantly sooner? which is obviously not even a little bit sustainable financially, never mind the other costs (shipping emissions, etc) of reordering clothing that often. so basically you either have to accept some percentage of reinforcing nylon in the garment, which means you're still creating microplastics when you go to wash it, or you have to handwash all your shirts, which—i've met myself. that just isn't realistically possible for me. i'm like multiple weeks overdue for doing a Big Wash but i keep ADHD-ing my way past the point in the day that i'd want to have started the process by, so it keeps getting put off, and that's with in-house washer/dryer access—imagine upping the level of difficulty by adding in handwashing! could Not be me.

so ultimately where i end up is that like, in buying corespun merino i'm improving my textural/wicking/temp reg/etc experience, so i do benefit, but the environment isn't benefiting nearly as much as i'd like, although i suppose washing a garment that's like 13% plastic is probably still not-insignificantly better than washing one that's 100% plastic, especially if the anti-stink/anti-wrinkle properties of merino pan out enough that i can actually wash the garment less often? but like. not nearly as gratifying as achieving 100% natural fiber, 0% microplastics. :/

(it's possible merino-tencel blends are hardier? so that might be worth looking into. but also i have very particular size/style/gender prefs/needs that really narrow the field of possibilities, is the thing—wanting to wear a smaller-than-standard men's size rather than a more common women's size, basically—and idk how many merino-tencel blends (if any) fit within the narrow band that leaves for me. [it's maybe possible a men's S could be dryer-shrunk enough to function as an XS, but that sounds (a) more possible with 100% merino than with a blend and (b) like an experiment too expensive to risk having fail.])

⸻ ¹ i do have one (1) fancy merino hoodie i bought years ago as an Investment Piece that's like, 100% merino machine-knit that's fleecy inside—sort of like american apparel california fleece except wool?—and is ime entirely machine-wash friendly: practical attractive impeccable garment‚ after years of amortization price almost reasonable‚ no notes. but i think it's the thickness of the fabric that makes that possible—t-shirts you want to be much thinner‚ and thinness → tearing.

#tl;dr it would be real easy to develop microplastics scrupulosity #i'm trying to instead work out how to improve my personal practices in ways that are both significant and sustainable for me #which is like. ha. good luck with that #everything thin needs some nylon! or you just end up with holes! #trying to tell myself Some Plastic is better than All Plastic #which seems like it must be true but like. emotionally i want to be Perfect >:/ #anyway no one point out the ways in which food unavoidably comes in plastic packaging unless‚ idk‚ you do all yr shopping at a farmer's mkt #life truly is just. enjoy navigating yr unavoidable enmeshment in the system that's hurtling us all towards certain doom! #anyway uh #defeatist rhetoric cw ig #i AM actually Trying despite what it may sound like

[palishere]

4 ingredients: Sammy... Handcuffs.... Whipped cream... And a pair of stilettos.

Click. Click. Click.

Goes the knee high, leather, black boots against the almost non existant floorboards. The shoelace thin ties are pulled tight eenough that the leather hugs my thigh. God, it feels so good. So sexy. My eyes glance over the small frame of my glasses and into the bright blue gaze of my reflection.

I single handedly took out a hunter today. Nothing can wipe this proud smile as i apply thick black eyeliner wanting to look my best. Especially when the Alpha finally turns up.

I feel the bottom of my stomache churning. Anticipation, excitement and nerves all washing around with just a dash of butterflies to keep life interesting. Im jittery. The adrenaline must be the reason. I haven't taken a hunter down before. And did my heart do somersaults when i pulled keys and a brown leather wallet from the agents pant pocket. He must have thought he wasn't staying long. He was very wrong.

It's exciting watching my pupils grow. Feeling my heart rushing gaster and faster as the adrenaline continues to consume the veins through my body. I haven't known lust like this.

The rattle of handcuffs behind me gives him away, he's finally awake. And i have never been so impatient to play. And when William sees him, sees me and him i hope with every fiber that i might be allowed to keep him.

I turn around with a cherry red smile on my lips as i face the stone cold, brown eyed hunter. And if looks could kill.

"Sam Winchester." I sigh a deep exhale to calm my nerves, "Finally awake..."

"You!" He snarls, "You killed those people!?" He yanks on the handcuffs and they scuff against the metal frame of the single bed. I'm feeling confident that they will hold.

"Me? Oh, God no. I- I'm not in that... brand... i'm far too new."

"New?" He says quickly and equally confused.

"Yeah. Honey, new-"

"So you're in a pack?"

"Pack? Oh, i suppose. "

"What does that mean?" He hisses and tries to act like i can't see his hand searching for a loose nail. Staller, i can't help but tsk as i walk closer to him.

"You boys never had werewolves get the drop on ya huh? Well, the pleasure really will be all mine." I feel my eyes glowing and i watch with curiousity as Sam takes in my unique feature. My eyes, for reasons that i will explain soon, they don't shift normally when i take my were-form. They kind of glow a dark pink colour.

"What... Are you? You're not-"

"A werewolf? I am. I'm just a new type of werewolf."

"A hybrid?"

"Thats the one..." i place my hand on his knee and give his leg a firm squeeze. "You excite me, hunter.."

He protests so pretty, i feel my body reacting favourably as he swears fore to stop. But, it was already too late for him. Noone was going to stop this.

His black dress pants are pulled uncomfortably under his knees, while the fabric is pulled so tight i retrieve his blade and nick the cotton pants and they fall apart under him.

"Stop. What are you doing? Why? Don't. Jesus. Don't."

"Hush. I'm not even close to done." I put one knee over him and straddle his hips and it's like they always belong. Like he always belong to me. Under me. With me. My heart pounds at an incredible rate, but, if this is how i die, well, better this than a shotgun.

I sit back a little and hitch my skirt up over my hips. Two fingers are quick to slide among my labia and spread the juices around i moan when i find my own clit and it's almost like i found it for the first time, i buck down and moan with a tear forming in my eye.

"I've wanted this for too long..."

"Ngh- you can't..." his voice stutters. And i don't even need to respond to that because. I can. And i will. And i am.

With one hand getting to know myself the other picks up a nearby can, shaking it just as i intend to shake Sammy's monster cock as soon as i get my hand in his clean, white underwear.

"W-what are you d-doin?"

"Helping you." Is all i offer before i tilt the can and spray the tasty white stuff over Sam's chest. A long stripe of whipped cream lands just above his nipple and up to the V on his neck. "There's a few things that make me unique," i say with a hard roll of the hips, but the noises it drags from his throat are what i've lived for. I lean over his generous body and lap at the whipped cream. And may the good Lord help me when he moans.

I feel him chubbing and i wish i could stop rolling my hips over him, but, like a needy animal in heat, there is no stopping me. "The first thing that makes me unique," i whisper againdt his golden skin, "Is how i was turned. It isn't everyday a succubus has an offer like i did.."

"Y-You're...!?"

My hand turns his chin towards me, and i let my eyes radiate once more with a hum before locking lips with the little hunter. "Delicious..." I can feel his heart, pounding, picking up pace and it takes another kiss or two before our hearts beat at the same rhythm.

"But that's not even where i get my power, see, to be turned a succubus... there is a ritual."

"N-Ngh..." he clamps his mouth shut and my eyes turn a shade darker at his defiance, another shake of the whipped cream and his eyes shoot open. I nip across his cheek and lean in to clean my mess.

Meanwhile, my hand has snaked behind his head and i grip his thick chestnut locks. He's perfect and i'm unashamed to admit that i want to keep him.

"Succubus are demons..! Th-they're bred as demons..." he sounds exhausted and i feel his energy seeping into me.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Where did you read that?" I lean up to steal another kiss and this time he lets my tongue slip inside. So i naturally have to reward that with another grind. He responds so nicely.

I find his blade again and snip the underwear away, he is fully erect and Jesus, he is sporting a monster of his own. I can't wait for his tip to meet my folds, to mindless explore my entrance, to accidently bump my clitoris. To ride him for hours and hours on end. And ultimately for him to give in and accept that he will be my new breed.

"No, well- yes. Most Succubus. But, i was turned." Finally. Finally, my hand slips between the heat of our bodies and i grip him, "every wonder... what happens when a lust demon defiles a virgin?" No complaints, no swearing, no fighting and i line him up and it's like the first time. "It was some time ago and for most of that time I was forbidden of this act." I scoff, "Can you imagine a sex demon forbidden from sex?!" Less pain, more pleasure, heightened senses, lust filling the room. He moans so pretty, begging repeatedly. Beautiful. "Thats when i met William, the answer was to cross my bloodline with another..."A burst of energy pulses through me and although i've never experience anything like it before, my instincts know exactly what's happened. His resistance has depleted and all thats left is for his climax to fill me and i'll have him made an obediant servant before William even arrives.

"Ngh! Ah!" His head pulls forward watching as i bounce up and down over his throbbing cock, it almost slips out before i force it back in, it's filling me. I see him nodding, because he wants it, wants to release inside of me.

I lean forward, hand grabbing his neck and squeezing it as my hips push into his, the springs of the bed shriek loudly. He pants and pants and pants and i can feel his release building in his loins. Our pending orgasms entwining into each other, a mix of blue and pink energy swirlling together and his gaze fixes on me, he voiclessly begs me to let him cum and-

"Soon...Hang on...hang on, baby..." Our bodies make obscene sounds and i moan with eyes rolled into the back of my head, "Ahh! Yes!! Yes! So full...You gonna fuck me baby? Fuck me hard? Tell me..." my eyes are almost a glow of purple, the lust overbearing and the need for orgasm taking over as i ride the Winchester through the mattress.

He begged for the longest time. I wish Dean had been there to watch his baby brother come undone like he did. It was mind shattering.

My arms wrapped around his neck, holding him as i drilled my hips into his, his cock curving perfectly to fill my every need, when i finally got close and his climax was peaking, our energies combined into an explosion of power. His load never seemed to stop, just kept spurting and spurting and twitching inside of me and just when we thought he was spent, i lapped at his neck and shoulder, nipping lightly with my teeth and had him blowing a surprise load that neither of us knew he was holding.

Spent from the obvious, i grinded softly against him and once the effects started to wear off, his fight slowly started to repair.

The soft "What did you do?" Filled my heart with joy.

"Oh, sweetie, that was just round one..."

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

Juniverse Retail AU

this post was too good not to turn into a fic, so I got permission from @acadieum and @rae-kl and went off.

~~~

He’s at that point in his shift where nothing is real, his feet have lost feeling, and every single soccer mom with fake blonde hair has decided to descend on his location at once. 

“No,” exclaims the woman in front of him, rapping her long-nailed hands down onto the counter, “I told you, I can only use products that are gluten free, vegan, free of dyes and parabens, free of natural pigments, and lack fiber.” Her roots need to meet this perfect touch-up Juno just got in stock. He could give her so much help if she’d just be nice and let him. 

“Yeah, lady, this is a Sephora.” Juno rubs his eyes and resists the urge to look at the clock. “Everything we’ve got in here has dye or natural pigments. If you don’t like what we’ve got, check Lush at the other end of the mall.”

The woman huffs, props up her sunglasses. “I want to speak to your manager.”

“I am the manager.”

She storms out, already whipping out her cellphone to give his location a bad review. Juno doesn’t care. He honestly doesn’t care about anything at this point.

“Cheer up, boss!” says Rita over the Rita-sized box she’s carrying to the dumpster. The front reads Unleash Your Inner Artist palettes. “We only got two hours left!”

Juno huffs. “Yep. Two hours.” He can see someone winding through the aisles towards his help desk. Instantly he is awash with that rush of overwhelming rage that fills him whenever he has to actually do his job and assist someone. I am so not paid enough for this.  “Hey, how can I.... help you...”

The person standing in front of Juno’s counter is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. His dark brown eyes are expertly framed with green eyeshadow, his full lips lined with a matte color just a few shades darker than his tan skin. He arches one stunning brow and Juno almost melts. “Excuse me,” says the man. “Do you happen to have this foundation in shade 290?”

It’s the most seductive thing anyone’s ever said to him. “Uh, uh maybe,” stammers Juno, “Let me check in the back?”

“Thank you. I would appreciate that.” 

Thank you, I would appreciate that. God, his voice is so hot. Juno grabs a bottle from the back room and brings it back. “That’s $35,” he says. 

“Alright.” The man reaches into his purse for a credit card but doesn’t hand it over just yet. Instead, his eyes sweep once over Juno’s face. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before,” he says. 

“Yeah, uh, I used to be one of the makeover artists, but just got moved to manager, not sure how.” He laughs and then wishes he hadn’t. A blush creeps over his face, but the man is smiling. 

“I see. Are you here every day?”

“Pretty much. We’re short on managers right now.” 

“Ah.” He hands over his card. “Well, maybe I’ll see you again sometime...” His eyes dart down to the nametag. “Juno.” 

Juno is as much of a mess as a red lipstick spilled in a white Valentino bag. “Uh, uh yeah! Maybe! That’d be great, so here’s your receipt, have a nice day? Have a nice day.” He drops the receipt. “God, I’m sorry. Hey, uh, what’s your name?”

“Call me Rose.” Rose picks up the receipt and tucks it neatly into his bag. “All my friends do.” 

And he saunters away, taking most of Juno’s heart with him. 

Rose visits again a few days later. He says he’s just picking up a bottle of nail polish, but ends up standing by the shelf as Juno restocks. They chat for half an hour. After Rose is gone, Juno realizes he must have counted inventory wrong, because the shelf he just filled with what was supposed to be twenty blending sponges is only nineteen blending sponges. 

But he thinks nothing more of it after he gets another sponge from storage, and the next day Rose visits again. And again, a few days after that. They talk about makeup at first, but then about themselves, and the things they like, and the way they live. 

“I’m just doing this to pay rent, save up some cash.” Juno explains. “I wanna go back to school, get a degree in criminal justice.”

“I didn’t take you for a lawyer.”

“I was thinking more like a detective, actually. Private investigator or something. How about you?”

“Oh, I’m between jobs at the moment.” Rose doesn’t quite meet his eyes on that line. He’s a man of mystery just as much as he’s a man of glitter highlighter. And damn he kills that glitter highlighter. 

It’s nice, for a while, having someone to visit him at work and someone he can flirt with when shifts get slow. But then a few problems arise. 

The first is that Juno gets distracted by Rose, and doesn’t service his other customers as well. Which is fine, because he has other employees and, thank god, he has Rita, and all of them are very capable of handling the store without Juno. But they complain about it plenty. 

The next problem is brought to his attention by Rita herself: “Boss, have you ever noticed that this tall guy uses a new credit card each time he comes in here... an’ none of ‘em have the name Rose?”

And once he notices that, he notices another problem: makeup goes missing when Rose visits him. Like, a lot of makeup.

“That’s nice eyeliner you’ve got today,” Juno tells Rose. “It’s Maybelline?”

“Maybe.”

“Neat. On a totally unrelated note, half of our Maybelline shipping vanished last week.”

“Hmm, how unusual,” muses Rose with a straight face. “You know Juno, I’ve been thinking...”

He doesn’t get to say what he’s been thinking, because at that moment a screaming toddler smashing up the perfume aisle demands a manager’s attention. 

The next time Juno sees Rose, he’s wearing dark red nail polish the same color as the ones Juno was reshelving last time they spoke. But he’s brought Juno a smoothie from the mall cafeteria, and there’s a smile on his gorgeous face, and Juno decides to let it slide. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Rose says. “Perhaps one day we could meet up outside of your work.” 

Juno’s heart flip-flops. “Oh?”

“Certainly. I could - well. Buy you lunch, for example - because you see, Juno...” He fidgets with a spare thread on his jacket. “I’d like to spend time with you, somewhere that isn’t also full of flouresents and stress.”

Juno laughs a little at that. “Yeah, sure,” he says. “I’ll think about it.” 

Rose grins, those sharp teeth flashing behind black lips. Juno’s pretty sure he’s just signed up for a date with a criminal. 

“May I ask you something?” asks Rose one day while Juno’s filling in ledgers. The store is closed, but Juno can’t bring himself to kick Rose out. 

“Shoot.”

“Do you like working here?” 

He snorts. “Want the honest answer or the cute one?”

“I’d hope you can always be honest with me.” 

Juno thinks about that for a moment. He sets down the pen and turns his head to see Rose’s eyes better. “I don’t like it,” he says, “that the only way I can pay my rent is to come to this store and give up a small piece of my humanity. You know?”

Rose nods, like he really does know. “I...I may have an idea,” he says. There’s caution in his words. “In my line of work, I’m, shall we say, self-employed. Reliant on myself for financial stability. But recently I’ve begun to consider taking on a partner. I wondered if you would be interested.”

It’s all he can do not to say “Hell yes” and sign up there on the spot. Instead he ducks back to the ledger to hide his blush and says, “Oh yeah? What’s your line of work?” 

“I suppose I can tell you more when I take you out to lunch.” And Rose winks with his eyeliner wings sharp enough to cut. 

They don’t end up going out to lunch. 

“Did you hear?” asks Rita as soon as Juno walks into the door for his shift the next day. She drags him to the back room, practically bouncing foot to foot; and once they’re out of earshot of the customers, she says, “Your friend Mistah Rose got ARRESTED!”

“Wh-what?”

“Yeah! Mall cops nabbed ‘im with five thousand dollars of designer merch after he left visiting you yesterday! An’ you wanna know the real kicker?” She leans in closer. “He got away. No one knows where he is now!”

“Oh.” Juno’s not entirely sure how he’s supposed to process all of this information at once. “That’s... I wish I could say that’s surprising.” 

What he means is, he wishes he could say he isn’t crushed. 

He was right about Rose, but it’s worse. He might never see Rose again. And it’s still worse: they came so, so close to having something, it’s just so unfair.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go tell the others!” Rita skips off, leaving Juno alone with his emotions, office files, and a clutter of still-boxed makeup. He sits down at his desk, just to think for a minute before going onto the floor. 

And that’s when he sees the note. 

“Juno: 

By this point you’ve likely uncovered the truth. What you haven’t surmised from the security footage and accounts of your workers, I will trust to your inner detective to piece together. 

Where do I begin? You are wasted as a makeup manager. The world deserves to be seen by you, and suddenly I wonder if I could be the person to show it to you, even if I am no longer the person you think I am. If you still want to take me up on my previous offer, hold out hope. I’m sure we’ll meet again.

I’ll be counting down the minutes until we do.

Signed,

Peter Nureyev

Master Thief.”

And sealed with a red lipstick kiss. 

#if i wake up tomorrow and my inbox is full of angry james charles fans i'm throwing myself out a window #all of the brand and trend teasing is meant to be lightly poking fun #there are so many makeup jokes in here #props if someone understands literally any of them #the penumbra podcast #juno steel #peter nureyev #rita #jupeter #au

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #181

UPDATE 181: Meat

A long time ago, I finished reading Homestuck. It was quite the long tale, and it was rather enjoyable! At the time I thought there ‘d be nothing else, because Act 7 seemed like quite the final chapter – or if there was anything, it’d be bits and pieces that wouldn’t warrant a liveblog. Yet here we are! Turns out, after this long, there’s epilogues. In plural, as you can see. Somehow, there are now epilogues and they’re said to be quite long, too. After taking a cursory read that made me read more than I thought I would, here I am, reopening this liveblog to explore the epilogues.

What I have read so far...is not particularly enticing or even likable, at least in terms of enjoyment, really, but there’s something about the writing that makes me want to continue. Credit where it’s due, yeah. Still, I’m interested in seeing where this is going, and now, I’m posting my thoughts here for everyone to see. Here we go! So, let’s start with the epilogue liveblog!

You know, before that, I should note that now the story has its own URL instead of being into the old mspaintadventures website. Kind of late in the game for this change, Mr. Hussie. I mean, the story is over, and although there’s a whooole lot of new content, it seems a bit senseless to have this in its own domain. Then again, the rest of the mspaintadventures stories were kind of...hidden away in the website? I don’t remember links to them, when I used to read Homestuck. Maybe Homestuck getting its own domain is for the better. I do wonder if this is a hint more stuff will come in the future. The extra-epilogue. The postscript-extra-content. The seriously-guys-this-is-the-end chapter.

There are two epilogues, it seems. One is meat, the other is candy. I immediately notice this is related to the cherubs’ food. I wonder if it means one epilogue will be...bloodier? Crueler? More chaotic and violent? I mean more like something Caliborn will like, while the other will be more to Calliope’s tastes. I’ll start with the meat epilogue, simply because it’s to the left.

From what I can tell at a glance, there are no images, but there are colored words, most likely from conversations between characters. That should be fine, although Homestuck was pretty visual at times, its strength was the writing and characterization.

Well then! The very first paragraph already beats most of Homestuck in terms of extremely descriptive stuff. Heck, this reminds me of Worm, with its extensive paragraphs about bugs and how they crawl on people and cause all sorts of nasty effects. I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

Meat was definitely the right choice, you think, as grease drips down your chin. The meat is cold and undercooked, so you have to grab it with both hands while you rend it apart with your incisors. It bursts in chunks, filling your mouth with blood and your throat with mangled knots of gristle and long strings of muscle fiber. You take big bites, almost too big to swallow, so big that you choke on the meaty mulch and hock some of it up into your nasal cavity. You sneeze out a gooey rope of phlegm and flesh. You stop for a moment to wipe your face, but your chin is still slippery after you swipe the mess away. Slivers of meat catch between your teeth as you masticate with bestial enthusiasm. You use your thumbnail to fish them out.

...am I eating this meat straight from the cow.

Apparently the person who is eating meat that’s almost raw is John, who I guess gained a taste for raw meat at some point. Maybe he’s trying to emulate Jade’s canine half, for all I know. He’s with Roxy and Calliope, the later providing the meat. I suppose cherubs wouldn’t know about cooking meat. Speaking of cherubs, eating meat reminds John of Lord English, and he gets so sick thinking of Lord English he decides he knows what he must do. Alright! Didn’t waste any time dilly-dallying around!

JOHN: i have to go back and kill lord english.

ROXY: u sure?

JOHN: i think so. it will probably be hard. but i think it’s the right thing to do.

JOHN: everyone is counting on me.

When is this epilogue set? Before Act 7? I thought by now Lord English was dead and gone, not that it still was something that needed to be done. Then again, it’s not like Lord English’s death was shown on screen, if I remember correctly. Maybe this is after Act 7 and he’s going back in time with his retcon powers. I suppose he’d still have them.

Roxy seems disappointed, so I suppose she knew this had to be done at some point. Given John’s retcon powers, it’s not impossible this is the last time she sees John if things go wrong. Calliope is more accepting, saying it’s John’s decision. Time to leave?

Seriously, things have gotten quite more descriptive now. Still unsure if that’s good or not.

The farewell is quite unsatisfying, and the moment passes without John being able to make it better, so he goes to prepare himself and write a note for Roxy as a farewell and/or apology. Not only to her, to all of his friends. It’s like he’s aware the chances he’ll return here aren’t that high. I wonder if John would die here at the end. It’d be quite...something!

In this epilogue, there’s a Troll Kingdom, which I imagine is ruled by the trolls who survived Homestuck, raising the grubs created by ectobiology. Dave and Karkaroni are there, Dave lives with the trolls, I suppose because his relationship with Karkaroni now includes living in his hive.

KARKAT: NOT NOW DAVE. JAKE’S ASS IS ON TV AGAIN.

DAVE: stop ogling jakes ass this is important

KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHOSE ASS I SHOULD STOP OGLING.

Apparently the reason why Jake’s ass is on TV again is because he and Dirk have a show involving rap battles and robot wrestling, which I suppose is the natural progression from when Jake used to get said ass kicked by a robot. People like the show, and I’m already convinced it’s partly because of the schadenfreude of seeing Jake losing against robots – because no way Dirk is losing, hah

Karkaroni has a few choice words for the fake gladiatorial show, and points out this show is all about zooming onto Jake’s ass. Maybe ‘pumpkin patch’ is an euphemism. Either way, the relevance of the TV show is eclipsed by the announcement Jane is running for president of the entire Earth. Aha, truly the wretched pastry baroness’ descendant.

DAVE: i dunno crocker is just an ambitious woman i guess

KARKAT: THIS SOUNDS FUCKING AWFUL.

DAVE: oh it is

DAVE: it absolutely is

DAVE: also like

DAVE: dont tell her i said this but

DAVE: i think shes basically a fascist

...well then. Oh all things that could have been used to describe Jane from what I remember of her, ‘fascist’ didn’t come not even close. Then again, it’s not like Karkaroni had any meaningful contact with Jane, and all Dave did was call her hot, which isn’t really the epitome of camaraderie and intimidate knowledge. They both even admit to that.

DAVE: oh also shes a fucking xenophobe

KARKAT: OF COURSE SHE’S A XENOPHOBE!

...ah.

...

Did I miss something? Was there something between Act 7 and these epilogues that revealed Jane harbors xenophobic inclinations? Why am I having to ask aloud ‘hey is Jane a xenophobe’

KARKAT: DAVE, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICED, BUT

KARKAT: A LOT OF HUMANS ARE???

DAVE: yeah ive noticed

Well, that part isn’t really surprising. Humanity just has a knack for looking down on other people, I can only imagine how it’d be when it’s about other sapient species. If aliens ever make contact with humanity it’ll be a social mess.

Since letting Jane claim the spot of president of Earth is not good, apparently, Dave wants to stop her, eliciting laughter from Karkaroni who is already imagining Dave running against her. No, Dave couldn’t handle that responsibility, no way.

DAVE: anyway no

DAVE: im not running

DAVE: you are

Hm...unless Karkaroni got over the many issues he had from his leadership attempt during Sgrub this can’t end well. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t like the idea, precisely because he doesn’t feel like he has what’s needed to be a leader. It’s not that he would lose horribly – Karkaroni actually is rather popular. I suppose all of the Homestuck survivors are popular – it’s that he doesn’t feel ready and he seems to hate the attention. Understandable.

KARKAT: MAYBE I DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE BEING FAMOUS?

KARKAT: AND MAYBE THAT’S AS GOOD A FUCKING REASON AS ANY *NOT TO RUN FOR THE FUCKING PRESIDENCY OF EARTH*?????

KARKAT: NOT TO MENTION THE IDEA OF AN ELECTION IS KIND OF A FUCKED UP AND WEIRD THING TO ME CULTURALLY ANYWAY, AND I’M STILL KIND OF GETTING USED TO THE IDEA THAT PEOPLE CAN JUST... “CHOOSE” THEIR FUCKING LEADERS AND NOT HAVE THE SAME OLD MERCILESS BITCH IN POWER FOR SEVERAL MILLION YEARS.

Perfectly valid reason. I mean, it’s not something kind of inconsequential as being the class president of sophomore year in school or whatever it’s like up there in America. It’s president of the entire planet. If Karkaroni wins there will be consequences, even if he steps away immediately. Either he commits to this fully, or he simply shouldn’t run.

DAVE: ok ill just be the one to come out and say it

DAVE: shes going to be a fucking disaster for the economy

So Jane’s a republican. Haha! Ah, I shouldn’t touch this not even with a ten-foot pole. Nevermind that.

DAVE: i guess i have to admit

DAVE: part of this

DAVE: for me personally

DAVE: its

KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING DAVE

DAVE: its about obama

Somehow, I didn’t even bat an eye with Dave described part of the reason why this is personal for him is because Obama didn’t get to be president due to, you know, the end of the world. I find it in-character, somehow. This isn’t the first time Dave extols Obama’s virtues, and after quite an extensive diatribe, he says maybe Obama reincarnated in Karkaroni. Thaaaat has to be the most Dave-y encouraging thing he could have ever thought. It’s for things like these that I like Dave, haha

Apparently only humans have tried to get to high offices, because no other species has even tried. They lack ambition, and given what I remember from Sburb, that’s believable. The only species that could come close to taking part in this are the trolls, and they’re not used to elections. No wonder humans have the high spots of politics.

DAVE: karkat dont stereotype

DAVE: remember the mayor

DAVE: remember how at one point a long time ago he raised an army and rebelled against an evil king

KARKAT: OH YEAH

KARKAT: SOMEHOW I ALWAYS FORGET HE DID THAT.

KARKAT: KIND OF MIND BOGGLING, REALLY.

KARKAT: HOLY SHIT, I MISS THE MAYOR.

DAVE: me too

Ah, yeah...I miss him too. I wonder what happened to him.

The government is in charge of troll reproduction through cloning, I suppose because the mother grub isn’t ready yet. In the meantime, the balance of power will get entrenched to the point where even when there’s a functional mother grub, humans will restrict troll population so they don’t take over the planet and make the horrors of Alternia happen. No lie, that’d be pretty bleak for humanity. Last time the horrors of Alternia were forced onto Earth everyone died. No troll right now would try, buuuut yeah, that’s not going to be forgotten...for a while.

Somehow, Dave’s arguments about how Jane has zero business acumen, is sinister, and trolls are getting the raw end of the deal are actually getting Karkaroni to pay attention, until he finally caves, simply because it’d make Dave happy. That’s sweet. But yeah, this is...not what I expected what would happen in the epilogue. Well then!

DAVE: aw yeah

DAVE: you wont regret it this is gonna be dope

DAVE: i think we have a great shot too

DAVE: with my political savvy and economic genius and outrageous flair for subversive anti establishment messaging and propaganda, and your big loud fucking mouth...

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK

DAVE: um i guess also your charisma and likability and shit

KARKAT: YEAH.

KARKAT: YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT...

KARKAT: I’M PRETTY SURE I CAN FAKE THOSE THINGS WELL ENOUGH.

DAVE: oh also

DAVE: your weirdly sincere humility

KARKAT: I PREFER THE TERM “SELF LOATHING” ACTUALLY.

DAVE: ok lets try to avoid that phrase on the campaign trail too

KARKAT: THIS ALREADY SOUNDS LIKE A PAIN IN THE ASS.

I’m not a political strategist, but if Karkaroni is going to run on a platform about how Jane sucks and there’s inequality towards the trolls, I’m not entirely certain it’s good there’s a shadowy human pulling the strings in the campaign. Kind of seems like bad optics to me. Then again, can’t say I know where this is going so let’s just wait and see.

Yup, Dave definitely will be the brains behind this presidency. They already agreed he’ll write what Karkaroni will say, even though he should improvise and speak from the heart, like he tends to do. Not a bad idea, it’s part of what makes him endearing.

DAVE: time to talk some strategy

DAVE: we need to rally as much high profile support to our cause as we can

DAVE: but there are some uh

DAVE: “lines of loyalty” to figure out

KARKAT: WHAT?

DAVE: i mean which of our friends are going to side with us and which ones will side with jane

It’s a safe bet to think the New Wonderteam will side with Jane and the Original Flavor Wonderteam with Dave and Karkaroni. Calliope likely will stick with Roxy, so she’d be on Jane’s side. All the living trolls would go with Karkaroni, so...overall? It seems to me the advantage is clear. Dave is slightly less optimistic than me, but he does think they can get many on their side.

...okay, what happened to Jade? What kind of twisted scenario involved her to the point where neither Dave nor Karkaroni want to talk about her? I’m almost afraid of finding out.

So there are four kingdoms, if I understand this correctly: one for humans, one for trolls, one for...carapaces, I guess, and one for the consorts, which would be aaaaaall the silly reptiles and amphibians from Sburb.

Jake’s support will be pivotal, and since I’m already betting he’ll be on Jane’s side out of, you know, being friends with her for quite some time, it seems like she’ll have the edge there. Then again, it’s true Jake is fairly timid, so there’s also a chance he’ll refuse to take a side. I’m starting to think any sane person would stay the heck away from any side in this mess, honestly. These two haven’t even announced Karkaroni as a candidate yet I already kind of dread what’s coming. I don’t know, it’s just this...constant atmosphere that something’s pretty wrong. I don’t really like it.

During all this, Dave receives a call from Dirk, so he calls back to ask what’s going on. This page ends with Dirk abut to insinuate he needs Dave to cut his head off again. I see these two’s weird pseudofamilial relationship is as messed up as ever. Charming.

So, back to the more Homestuck-y stuff. John zaps back to the story, apparently he agreed with Rose what needed to be done. First he makes sure Aranea won’t be up to shenanigans, taking off that ring of life from her finger. Good! Then he stashes Gamzee into the fridge again. Good! Everything’s fine over here. John zaps to the next plot point.

Ah, I have to read just two paragraphs to know what moment is this. The conversation below confirms my thoughts. Wait, I have to get the image for this moment:

There we go. Boy was it a pain to find it now that the long outline list is gone.

I think in Homestuck they had noticed John hanging out above them, and this time they see three of them, one of the Johns being an adult version. That’s going to be difficult to explain. Questions are asked, and evil Jade is zapped away to maybe get ready for the fight against Lord English, hopefully she won’t still be evil when the time comes, even if she technically is against Lord English and wants him dead. John is here to talk with Dave, anyway. If I recall correctly, Dave was supposed to give the final blow with that sword with the Welsh name, so my guess is that John is here for that. Get ready, Dave, you’re going to fulfill the fate you didn’t want in the first place! But at least I’m fairly certain John will be more successful at this than evil Jade was.

Turns out I’m not wrong about why John is here. In fact, the narration even says this:

Dave’s eyebrows descend beneath his sunglasses. You feel pretty bad because you’re about to completely circumvent the life-changing epiphany he’s just had that you know for a fact will make him a happier, chiller, and altogether more well-balanced human being.

Pretty unfortunate, really. It sucks to be Dave.

As I said before, Jade is zapped away to parts unknown, and Dave is informed of how everyone was spending their lives as normal adults with no big problems and a fairly peaceful life. Clearly John left the present before Dave and Karkaroni started their political war against Jane. Oh well. Off you go, Dave, get ready for a fight with Lord English. In the meantime, John will gather the rest of the team.

You know, I’m starting to realize I had a lot more to say about Dave and Karkaroni’s new political adventures than about the more familiar Homestuck-y messing around John is doing with the plot. I guess it’s because, as strange as the other plotline is, it just has...a lot other stuff to comment about that hasn’t been present in Homestuck before? Hm.

Yup, Dirk immediately asks for his decapitation as a solution for the tremendous defeat he has suffered at Jake’s hands, defeat that shouldn’t have happened because, as Dave states, Jake is pretty awful at everything. Either the show is rigged or Dirk must have quite a lot in mind for him to not even make an effort.

Yep, it’s rigged. I hope Jake knows. That guy never had a break during the game, hopefully he’ll get a break now. Speaking of Jake, he has to take the brunt of entertaining everyone while Dirk takes the call in the middle of the show. Whatever he has to talk about must be somewhat urgent, if he felt like calling Dave in the middle of it.

This narration sure is calling attention to Jake’s ass a lot, I lost count of how many paragraphs include something about it. Hussie, is there something you’d like to share with the class? Last time I checked the story he didn’t seem particularly interested in Jake’s ass, or in...Jake in general, really.

It seems what Dirk is doing here is intentionally making himself the villain of this show, but it’s not because he’s throwing Jake a bone or anything. No, it turns out there are more sinister goals here, or at least they’re sinister for Dave and Karkaroni’s newfound political ambitions.

DIRK: The point is, this is much less about me, and more about providing a foil for Jake’s heroism and charisma.

DIRK: It’s very important that his popularity continues to be cultivated, to maximize his political capital.

Sounds like they were planning Jane’s campaign for quite a while, if they went so far as to make Jake the hero of their show just for political capital. I bet that was the plan all along, right from the very first time this was broadcasted. How long ago was that, I wonder? But yeah, as Dave predicted, Dirk is fully on the Jane corner of this mess. He’s fully aware of Jane’s flaws and theoretical fascist/xenophobic tendencies, I presume, and he believes Jane’s the best for the current situation of the world. Whether he’s right or not...well...until proven otherwise I believe that too, yeah.

DIRK: We’ve all had our fun here, but it’s easy to overlook the fact that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition.

DIRK: Just beneath the surface, it’s quite a dangerous and unstable place.

Won’t lie, that never crossed my mind at all. From the way Act 7 ended, and how happy the ending was supposed to be, I simply thought things were going to be just peachy. I’m interested in knowing just how exactly it’s a quite a dangerous and unstable place. Care to explain, Dirk?

Guess not. I hope he explains how he knew what Dave and Karkaroni are planning, then. They took this decision like ten minutes ago.

DIRK: I think your heart is in the right place, but the dude is a complete amateur.

DIRK: He’ll get eaten alive. I also have a hard time imagining he even wants the job.

DIRK: Really, it’s an awful idea for him to even run. Think about how much it’s going to inflame the interspecies tensions on this planet. Is that what you want?

DIRK: I’m happy for both of you, really. It’s nice that you encourage and support each other in this way. But you’re sending him on a fool’s errand which can only end badly.

To be perfectly honest, other than the part about inflaming interspecies tensions on the planet, that was more or less what I thought. So far I agree. Even the part about inflaming interspecies tensions sounds plausible.

You know, it’s kind of fun both sides have a savvy Strider political operative. These two are more alike than Dave would like to admit, really.

The reason why Dirk is calling is because he wants to dissuade Karkaroni from running, even if he doesn’t say it. He admits Jake is not under Dirk’s beck and call, though. Does that really change anything? Dirk may not be on Jake’s good graces, but perhaps Jane is? Either way, this is a call to subtly dissuade and it’s not going to work because Karkat is stubborn as hell once he gets his head into something and he did. Tough luck.

The call is over, Dirk is back into the staged fray, so Jake thinks about Dirk’s capricious nature.

DIRK: Sorry for the momentary diversion, Jake. Now where were we?

JAKE: Momentary??? Gadzooks man you were on the phone for half a friggin hour!

JAKE: I know you like to get the crowd all hot and bothered but we are supposed to be professionals here!

...no wonder the crowd was starting to get so upset. Half an hour?! Just how slowly were the Striders talking?

Jake pulls out rhymes that honestly reminds me of Dave’s old rapping convos from like Act 1 or 2, peppered with old-timey sayings. It’s the kind of thing that makes me wonder how Jake is popular all over the planet. It’s said it’s out of pity, but goodness, that must be a metric ton of pity. The rap fight ends with Dirk sedating Jake to take another call. Geez, no wonder you’re not on his good graces anymore, Dirk.

Aaaanyway, back to John. He has gathered everyone back at his childhood home, ready to start the discussion on how to get rid of Lord English once and for all.

Jake is sort of ruining the mood anyway by bouncing away on your old Green Slime pogo. Doesn’t he realize how dangerous that thing is? Of course not. The fool.

To be frank that thing looked fun to me, even though I wouldn’t ride it without a helmet. John needs to appreciate more the painful playground elements in his life.

It’s nostalgic to read a convo with the kids. I hadn’t realized until now I missed Jade’s goofy mannerisms. Jade was always someone I was so fond of. Heck, all of the kids are people I’m fond of, although I’m less fond of Dirk and Jake than the rest. My opinion of Homestuck may not be as high as it once was, but the characters are something I still appreciate.

John answers a question: what happens to the people from the timelines they all left? Who knows. They may have stopped existing, which I’m sure is something they’d have liked to know before, but there’s nothing that can be done about that. Better start planning so they don’t die horribly and make nothing matter, alright.

The planning is mostly disorganized and structureless, although some common themes that often recur involve you and your original three friends leading the charge, since you are the oldest and wisest, and therefore the strongest, with the exception of Jade, whose gaudy array of powers make her the most formidable of the group, bar none. Aside from that, it appears the consensus is that the melee will likely devolve into an absolute free-for-all—at least going by the general patterns of incoherent banter, shit-talking, and points of pedantic tactical disagreement plaguing the jam session.

Sounds about right. I still think Jade would be very useful in the fight as long as she’s actually there and not...getting knocked out by mailwomen-turned-winged-dog. Maybe this time there’ll actually be something about the kids getting into a fight with Lord English. I’m not really going to hope for that too much, given how Hussie is not into catering to orderly narratives, but eh. No harm in dreaming.

The reunion ends when Jake eats dirt when he falls from the pogo, and in all this there wasn’t even a word about the plan. Not a good omen for the ‘show everyone fighting Lord English’ dream, really. The kids all talk together, some of them meeting each other for the first time, while John wistfully stares at Dad Egbert who is visible through the window.

The sun is hitting the glass in such a way that you can’t see his face.

Ah, yes, how could I forget the eternal sun that was in Dad’s vicinity all the time, that’s why his face always appeared mostly blank. That’s why the sun was right beside the Homestuck letter logo, it’s always there. Besides, if it’s a bad idea to go talk with Dad Hebert, may I ask why they’re all gathered in this yard, one week before the meteors strike? I know I’d be alarmed if I looked out of the window and saw seven hooligans and one adult hanging out in my yard.

There are other things to be wondering about, anyway, like the fact John may not be seeing these as real versions of his friends. Then again, in my opinion, he’s thinking a bit too hard about this. Of course he’d feel kind of detached, simply because of the age difference. That’s hard to overcome. Is it time to leave and go possibly die? Grab hands and hope it’ll go okay!

No, seriously, why am I taking like a page for John’s retconning and like three and half for Dave and Karkaroni’s Elect-a-Troll 20XX? Oh well. Dirk is still in the stadium, apparently their shows always ends in a riot, making me wonder how are they popular with people. Public disorder doesn’t really paint a good image of you. The caller is Rose, and she’s not feeling happy.

ROSE: The bottom line is this.

ROSE: I am ascending, and it is terrible.

Is Rose reaching Nirvana? How else am I supposed to interpret ‘ascending’? It’s not like she’s not a higher existence already, what with godhood and all.

What’s going on is that Rose is being plagued from visions and a higher awareness of her alternate selves’ lives and tribulations, giving her something close to omniscience when it’s about the universe, and Dirk is going through that too, which I suppose helps explain how he knew what Dave wanted to do. That’s what Dave will have to go against? Good luck to him.

I have to wonder if Dirk being such a stalwart Jane supporter is fueled by his recent omniscience. Maybe he knows something Dave and Karkaroni don’t, maybe the warning he gave them was something he foresaw. That aside, then he also must have known how useless it was to call Dave and that it wouldn’t make much of a difference. Having omniscience must seriously suck. At least Dirk has a way to work with his omniscience in a way that won’t wreck him apart, and I’m curious what it’s going to be. That said, though, a story about Dirk and Rose having foreseen a nasty future and working to stop it even at the cost of a few valuable friendships would be interesting. I’d read that.

Any conversation that will come from this will be at the studio later. I for one am looking forward to it, I admit. It’s an interesting topic, rich with possibilities and potential for development. It’s a shame these are epilogues, though. In the end, this will go nowhere, I imagine. Isn’t it a pity when you come across an idea or a plot that could span an entire story, but you know it’s not likely to come to fruition? Real shame, that.

I think I’ll stop for now. I have read only seven pages out of forty-three or so, but this should be enough for now. I can’t say I have been...enjoying this. I’m interested, but not really happy so far. Maybe it’s because a couple rather questionable things have come out of the blue and for the life of me I can’t make them fit with the characters or the story. Strange.

Also, something about the writing style is...off. It’s far more descriptive than Homestuck usually was. Most of the time it’s nice, other times I wonder if it was necessary. Still, I wonder where this will go, so at least the epilogues have that on its favor. Just for that, I think liveblogging it will be worth it.

Still, these epilogues are non-canon, aren’t they? If they’re canon can you please tell me that? Thanks, readers! So, for the time being, this update ends here.

Next update: next time

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

[tearosewater]

I’m alive

Surgery went well yesterday, and I managed to get a little sleep last night so I’m feeling better.

Reading people’s experiences with the surgery really helped me out, so I’m going to throw mine under a read more if you’re interested.

I was scheduled for an afternoon surgery, and everything went pretty quick, I didn’t have to wait long to go back.

First, except for the surgeon himself who I only saw twice that day, my entire medical team from nurses to anesthesiologist were women, and they were all so sweet and personable and funny. I’m going to be ~that person~ but yeah, I tend to be much more comfortable around female professionals, especially medical. 

My nurses were great, especially when it came to my IV. I have notoriously difficult veins and in the past I’ve had nurses become impatient and just stick me all over. Instead, they took their time and they kept on warming my arms and used a special light to make sure they got the IV in right the first time, and now I have almost no bruising on the injection site. 

Also, a funny moment was when she suck the needle in and I felt something hot and wet run down my hand. I turned and she quickly said “ don’t look!”, and that’s when I noticed a stream of blood running down my hand and onto the floor. I just kind of laughed and said its a good thing I’m not squeamish about blood.

Lots of thorough questioning about my medical history by multiple people, in which almost all of them told me I was such an easy/boring case because I’m healthy and active and don’t have any allergies or anomalies. They took note of me telling them I experience anxiety and have mild asthma, and I was glad they didn’t just brush those two things off. I think one nurse realized when she asked me if I was nervous and I casually said “oh, kind of” and she said “well your heart-rate is 103″ lol 

I hugged my mom and was taken back and had the mask placed on. I remember taking about 3 deep breaths before I fell asleep. When I woke up I was groggy, but didn’t feel too bad. I was able to talk a little even though everything was blurry.

My post-op nurse was also fantastic. I started having some pain after coming-to and she gave me fentanyl  in my IV which helped a lot, as well as some water and ice chips. My mom came back and sat with me while I tried to fully wake up. I was given some crackers and applesauce which was a little difficult to put down, but I needed something in my stomach to take my pain meds. She showed my mom my incisions, I have two very small ones, one on the top right-ish side of my stomach and one on the lower right side, as well as one in my belly button.  The scarring will probably be super minimal if any at all after fully healing. They were also sealed up with a glue that will fall off naturally.

Its super important to get up and walk when you feel able to, I guess its good for recovery of any abdominal surgery and also helps with the gas they pump into you (which I’ll get into in a minute cause oh boy). My mom and the nurse helped me to the bathroom and my mom helped dress me. I started to feel nauseous, and they gave me a bag for the ride home, just in case.  I sat for a minute longer while my mom went to get the car.

They asked if I wanted to walk and I kind of felt embarrassed to say I wanted a wheel chair (it wasn’t a short walk) and the nurse reassured me that was totally fine, and “you just had surgery” lol once again, I come down on myself for something totally human and natural.

Unfortunately this is where the real pain started. Any kind of laparoscopic surgery they pump carbon dioxide into you to puff you up and give them better access to your organs. They remove as much of it as they can, but there’s always some that stays in the body. 

I’ve heard/read it varying between patients, and of course for me I seemed to have a lot of gas left over. The car ride home was hell. My entire stomach and sides hurt every time I breathed, and every little bump in the road made me whimper in pain, i was pretty close to tears. The only fortunate thing was that is lasted about 30-45 minutes at this state, and then I think my meds kicked in by the time I got home.

The gas pain has been the hardest part. It has a tendency to move up toward your right shoulder and just kind of hang out there, and even now on day 2 I still get bouts of shoulder pain, which can get pretty intense at times. Gentle massaging and my heating pad have been a godsend.

Other than that, the abdominal pain is bearable. I can get up and walk when I need to, and today I have some pain around my belly button now that the anesthetic has totally worn off. I don’t have much bruising at all, and I also had a little bit of bruising from the blood pressure cuff on my left arm. 

Not very hungry yet, I’ve had some chicken broth and crackers and that’s about it. The broth made me slightly uncomfortable so Im mostly sticking to the crackers. I have to stay on a low fat, high fiber diet for 4-6 weeks and reintroduce foods slowly. 

OH and I can’t take a bath until my 1 week check up, which suuuccks  because I love taking baths. I’ll just have to put up with showers for now. 

My family is being awesome. I can text my brother and sister when I need something and my mom checks on me, and helps me keep track of when I took my pain meds. I’m glad I’m not doing this alone. 

Jason has also been keeping tabs on me from NY. He was texting with my mom during surgery and didn’t want to call me too much yesterday because he wanted me to rest.  He keeps telling me to dream of all the Vegas buffet food I’ll be able to eat on vacation now, haha.

So, overall, not too bad. The gas pain is definitely not  fun but its subsiding. I have to kind of sit up on my back to sleep which is a pain, but i’m usually so tired and out of it on vicodin I fall asleep eventually. 

I hope this long-winded explanation helps ease other peoples minds. I’m not going to lie and say it hasn’t been painful or uncomfortable at times, but I had nothing to worry about and this too shall pass. 

#surgery #gallbladder #gallbladder surgery #gallbladder removal #laparoscopic surgery #health #personal