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erose-this-name · 3 months

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humans are not the default race

In every scifi and fantasy setting with """races""", humans are the default.

If you're lucky, we're the short-lived, fast-reproducing pests that are all white Europeans for some mysterious reason, and also have disproportionate rates of being raised as undead because we can't be bothered to make zombie dwarf minis or animate a vampire gnome that has to jump up to bite a tall person's neck.

(We've got BOTH human AND elf skeleton warriors! Oh, hey, I just changed the scale, now it's a hobbit skeleton OR a giant skeleton! Such skeleton diversity! No, Khajiits can't be bone boys, a skeleton with a tail and a cat skull is just TOO SPOOKY)

I feel like a lot of people don't realize that we (Homo sapiens) have the longest running endurance of any land animal. Being able to run a marathon is not normal.

(It's because we evolved the very unusual hunting strategy of Slowly Chasing Gazelles Or Whatever While Throwing Sticks At Them Until The Gazelle Or Whatever Collapses From Exhaustion Then Casually Walking Up And Bashing Their Head In With A Rock™).

Even Neanderthals probably couldn't match our tenacity (they were considerably stronger and tougher though, but by no means dumber judging from the size of their brain cavities{which was bigger than ours actually})

(the evolutionary Neanderthal hunting strategy was probably something like Jumping Out And Stabbing An Ice Age Megafauna With A Stick Then Getting Punted 12 Feet Into a Tree Then Getting Up And Doing It Again Until It Dies Because You Have Superhuman Bone And Muscle Density And If You Do Break One Of Your Unbreakable Bones Your Homies Will Take Care Of You Until It Heals™ [Neanderthal skeletons are found with healed fractures surprisingly often despite said bones being much stronger and denser than ours, they just kept evolving denser bones until they couldn't even swim without sinking like a rock and they still got broken all the time])

So given that we, Homo sapiens, actually literally used to be the "species that specializes in sheer endurance, determination, and unbreakable fucking will", I want more fantasy and scifi settings where we are that way! I think the only setting where that's even remotely the case is Undertale. We're not just the "default" intelligent species!

The only reason we're good at everything is because we can make complex tools and can learn and aren't bound by instinct. Which, by definition, all fantasy races would also be able to do. Otherwise, they'd just be considered animals. Like trolls and Redditers.

The "default" species should just be really good at making tools and quickly adapting, but kinda suck in every other category. So I guess gnomes or goblins are the default d&d race.

And Humans are certainly not the Tolkien "that one race that lives short lives and reproduces faster than everyone else and is good at farming" because:

A) we actually do already live relatively long lives for mammals of our size and also GIVING BIRTH CAN KILL US, AND IF OUR PARENTS DON'T RAISE US JUST RIGHT THAT CAN ALSO KILL US, WE ARE SPECIFICALLY VERY BAD AT REPRODUCING

B) we are in no way adapted to farming, and most of our modern health and societal issues stem from the fact that we aren't meant to farm or be civilized, but do it anyways.

We only farm because it helped us survive the ecological collapse at the end of the ice age, now we're in too deep to go back.

When the ice age ended (quite abruptly) the ecosystem couldn't provide for hunters and gathers anymore, a bunch of stuff were getting heat stroke, sea levels rose, hibernation and bloom cycles and reptile gender ratios were out of wack, predators died out because herbivores died out because plants weren't doing well so weren't making as many fruits or seeds. Decomposers like vultures and worms had a field day. Until they didn't (rip condor population). It would take a while for a new equilibrium to emerge and for evolution to fix things.

But farming doesn't need any outside ecosystems except for soil and pollinators, mostly, so that still works. And farming makes more food meaning you can have more people.

But it also means you can't go back to foraging without all the extra people dying of starvation. So anarcho-primitivism would technically be the most deadly ideology if implemented and therefore is not based, unfortunately. Here's hoping for an apocalypse to do that for us! (I would not survive it)

Fun Fact: those isolated tribal societies like the Sentinelese that still do hunting and gathering only spend 15-20 hours a week doing that and another 20 doing camp chores, and the rest of their time forming meaningful relationships and not being depressed.

Notice how most of what they do as "work" (hunting, fighting, hiking, berry/mushroom/etc picking, cooking, camping, arts and crafts, oral history/story telling) are things that we need to do during our limited free time just so that our "work" doesn't drive us insane. If we were good at farming or industry or civilization, then things like math and repetitive manual labor wouldn't be work.

Sure, these foragers die young, but so did medieval peasant farmers who were even less healthy since they had much less diverse diets (a lot of carbs) and got plague more often thanks to cities and their close proximity to livestock. And our modern sedentary lifestyle is bad too.

Hobbits are suited to farming (also Entwives I guess). Hobbits are quite good at it, at the cost of not being as good at much else, they inherently enjoy it quite a bit and most* aren't haunted by the sense they should be anything else, like we are. *(The Took family got that call to adventure 'tism)

We only think that we're not special or can't be anything other than what we currently are because we no longer have anything else to compare ourselves to. The Neanderthals, Denisovans, and irl hobbits died out tens of thousands of years ago and the fucking aliens are somewhere, presumably

We are special, only we survived.

But at the cost of becoming the species equivalent of an abandoned child raised by wolves. We fantasize about these things because we all know that we shouldn't be alone. But our perceptions of ourselves are twisted by our trauma and lack of socialization.

Personally, the realization that having lost our family was probably our fault makes that hurt so much worse.

#writing #writeblr #humans are space orcs #world building #science #not space orcs #A lot of space orc content goes too far with the human are special snowflakes thing #most aliens can probably *eat* or *have microbiomes*#we're just the Jogging With Murderous Intent guys who also Have A Weird Body Plan

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shirefantasies · 3 months

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Hello! 👋 Your work is amazing! I was wondering, how do you think the LOTR characters would interact with their companion/crush who has a loyal dog/wolf companion? How would the dog react to the characters? I just like the dynamics between people and animals. Take care!

SUPER OLD REQUEST I’M SORRY!!! Hmmmm interesting 🤔 I'm a huge animal girlie, though it's cats for me hehe! Love imagining my faves with animals omg 🥺

LoTR Characters + Your Loyal Canine Companion

Aragorn

✧ As someone who bonds with animals, he understands immediately and feels a sort of trust toward you because you respect other living things.

✧ He approaches the beast with great caution, near-reverence, offering a tentative hand. It is your turn to smile as your companion warily accepts, butting its head into his palm as he whispers gentle encouragement in Elvish.

✧ With your permission, takes it out tracking, curious to compare skills and see how the beasts of the world are truly made for their roles in a way even the greatest ranger cannot be.

✧ He sees firsthand the way you trust each other, move in battle as if carefully choreographed, and remarks how truly lucky you are.

✧ It moves your heart to see Aragorn’s grin one night when your companion practically knocks him off his seat by the fire.

Legolas

✧ You can see the surprise coloring his eyes before he actually speaks, the way they trace your motions and the furrow of his brows.

✧ Fearing it is judgment, you cross your arms and bite out a “Don’t tell me- an elf who’s not one for beasts?” Calm as anything, he replies in a tone dripping with wonder that he has never seen one so in tune with the world of nature, and at that, in the face of his satisfied smile, your jaw and tone drop.

✧ Naturally, your guardian is completely calm in Legolas’s presence, regarding him with a politely cocked head and an inquiring gaze sated by the elf’s hand upon its head.

✧ Legolas sees the way it curls up in the dirt at your feet, shakes his head and takes one of his blankets, wrapping the fabric into a nest for it.

✧ You catch him having a race with it one day, claiming with great merriment that the dwarf bet him he was slower than the animal.

Boromir

✧ Chuckles deeply at the sight of who trails you, shaking his head in wonder. “Don’t you two make quite a pair?”

✧ Asks right away if he can take the beast hunting, saying he envies you such a great hound.

✧ This leads to Boromir sitting at your side and recounting grand tales of Gondor’s best hunts, idly stroking the beast at your feet as he reminisces.

✧ He loves tossing sticks for the dog/wolf, amusement and peace clear upon his face as he opens his arms to the returning canine. “I could get used to this.”

✧ Your companion serves as an avenue for him to admit his feelings, starting with telling you your home must truly be a happy place with such a beast in it.

Gimli

✧ You probably meet because your companion goes bounding up to the dwarf at once, all but knocking him over. “Control your dog or I shall have to!” We all know, of course, that he is all talk.

✧ It surprises you how friendly your guardian is with a stranger, but his merry chuckles are quite infectious, bringing a smile to your lips.

✧ When you begin your travels together Gimli builds up a teasing friendship with the canine, playfully arguing with it as it noses against him for the meat he is eating and he shoos it, only to sneak a bit down anyway.

✧ Can be a bit rough with play sometimes, but you know your beloved beast can handle it, especially if it’s quite large, then they are evenly matched! Sometimes they all but wrestle in the dirt, tug-of-war somehow having turned much more silly and personal.

✧ Knows your companion’s name, but still always calls it Laddie/Lassie.

Frodo

✧ “How did you come by this creature?” Frodo is the only fellowship member to ask questions rather than whisper to themselves, and you appreciate that, telling him the story one night.

✧ Since then, the young hobbit offers plenty of secret little smiles your way and you ask for stories of his people in return.

✧ When the weight of the ring gets heavier Frodo finds himself curling his fingers through the fur at the top of the beast’s head idly, bringing him that much closer to reality’s solid ground.

✧ He even finds a special form of companionship in the moments anxiety overtakes him, your canine friend sensing his unease and draping itself upon him like a warm, heavy blanket.

✧ Grateful is an understatement. Frodo tells you in a soft voice that he doesn’t know what he would do without you two by his side.

Sam

✧ Before he even has a chance to get defensive your companion melts for him, warming up to the hobbit like none you’ve ever seen.

✧ The way they take to each other surprises you, Sam keeping aside bones from the broth to give it and your guardian taking circling Sam just as seriously as with you.

✧ Maybe it has something to do with the way Sam looks at you, the awe glistening in his eyes and the way he says your name like he isn’t worthy of it, though of course he’s the most worthy of the whole lot.

✧ Uses your companion as a sort of proxy to say things to you he’s too shy to say to your face, telling it how amazing its owner is and the like.

✧ Refers to the wolf/dog as Miss or Mister partially because he thinks it’s funny and usually says it in a jolly voice but also so you know how much respect he has for it.

Merry

✧ “Well, I haven’t seen a dog this big since outside that bar in Bree! What’s his name?”

✧ Sees your companion as a pet, which though not entirely wrong creates a more playful dynamic between them once they both understand neither is a threat.

✧ Merry can’t help bursting into laughter the day he knocks you over in a sparring match, only to get peeled off you by a massive wall of canine. Keeps laughing once they both unfreeze and he gets licked, trying to roll back up and away from the new attack. “I was going to ask if he knew any tricks, but no need now it seems!”

✧ Retaliates by finding the ‘sweet spot’, scratching until your canine friend kicks his legs like they do!

✧ Opens up to you one day, remarking how he wishes to be half of such an in-tune duo in battles and in life. Not that he doesn’t love his cousin, but he craves a different kind of companionship, one you assure him he could have with a fond smile on your lips.

Pippin

✧ Peers at you with the round eyes of complete shock, having seen nothing like you in his Shire days.

✧ Keeps the beast plenty occupied letting it run after him, tearing giddily around the camp once he sees you keep friendly company.

✧ He makes the mistake one night of extending his spoon for your guardian to sniff, only for his morsel to be stolen. Pippin cannot help a laugh, though, and a glittering look your way. “He likes to eat as much as I do, I see!”

✧ You cannot help softening at the fire one night upon looking over and seeing that the hobbit has fallen asleep, his head resting gently against the soft side of your wolf/dog.

✧ Definitely sees your companion as a way to get to know you better, asking plenty of questions and getting close to the canine in hopes to earn a place by your side, too.

Faramir

✧ Lives by a sort of silent oath to question but accept. Thus he asks why you travel with a beast, but listens to your reasons with firm nods and the beginning flicker of an understanding smile.

✧ Offers his hand very tentatively, having had his touch rejected or struck against many a time, but when the dog/wolf nuzzles against him he looks at you with joyous pride that melts you.

✧ That little interaction has you wanting to bring the two of them together, some inexplicable invisible string tugging you closer to Faramir by the heart.

✧ You let him feed your companion, indulge in a game of fetch, and in between it all make some conversation yourself. Amazing, really, all the knowledge Faramir has and he is equally impressed with your prowess in nature.

✧ Faramir always tells you how you remind him of great heroes from the stories he grew up reading with his brother.

Eomer

✧ “Who is this,” he teases you with a smirk, “your mount?” “No,” you shoot back, “though he is sure leagues more loyal than yours.”

✧ Challenges you to a competition, a challenge of hunting between him and his horse and you and your beloved canine. You win, and he accepts, offering pats to its head.

✧ Ever the tease, Eomer dubs you the Lord/Lady of Dogs, but you know by his smile and the glint in his eyes that he means it with affection.

✧ Invites you on patrols of his land’s borders, saying he trusts you both to get the job done.

✧ Suddenly he keeps talking about taking in a dog of his own so yours has a sibling, more and more thoughts along that vein invading his mind…

Haldir

✧ Fears your companion will slow the party’s orc tracking down, especially as many members utilize the cover of the trees.

✧ Allows you to do as you please, though, his soft spot evident in the way he shuts down any and all whispers about the group’s most unique member.

✧ You can see it, too, hear it in the way they speak warily of your fellow hunter, but you will not be parted. Instead you prove them wrong as your fierce defender takes down several of your quarry on its own.

✧ Haldir himself commends you both, offering a tentative hand to your newly shared ally and smiling up at you as it is accepted. Something different flashes in his eyes alongside the almost shy look.

✧ “Truly, how much less exciting my life would be without you in it…”

Eowyn

✧ Astounded by the way you two communicate, it is as if you truly do understand each other. She questions it, asks how this can be.

✧ Takes you by the horses, curious if your harmony spreads. She smiles at the way you interact with them, but it is clear just from that that the bond with your companion has been forged over years.

✧ Absolutely ready to fight to get a suit of armor made for your canine friend complete with a helmet and all of Rohan’s motifs of course!

✧ “After all, we much protect such beauty, no?”

✧ Playfully dangles things in the air, giggling whenever your canine guardian leaps for them and smiling widely at you.

Arwen

✧ Kneels down and whispers something in Elvish to it the moment she sees trepidation in its eyes, calming your companion immediately.

✧ It fosters a sense of trust between you and the woman, whose side you kneel to, tangling a hand in your canine's fur next to her.

✧ She is reminded, of course, of Huan, Oromë’s most famous hound and wonders if your beast could even be his descendant.

✧ Fair and just, Arwen quickly falls into the circle of people your furry comrade protects, chuckling deeply when it growls at the next set of people joining you as visitors to Rivendell. She speaks gently to it, asking it with a teasing tone how it still feels such unease in such a place.

✧ She knows you feel like an outsider sometimes and works to correct that, constantly telling you you have such strength and a place in the world- even Rivendell with her if you so desire.

Elrond

✧ Looks taken aback by the large form that follows you, brows raising at the creature entering his home. He hesitates, makes to hold it back, but when you insist you both go or neither the elf somewhat grudgingly nods.

✧ Used to odd patrons as he is, Elrond reminds himself that he welcomes all and asks politely for the beast’s name.

✧ Studies up on its origin if he is not already aware, trying to determine if this is an ordinary wolf/dog or one with any ties to the land’s magic.

✧ He sees your companion charge into battle at your defense, risking its own life, and with a nod of pride rushes in to save it from its own sacrifice.

✧ From then on Elrond regards your guardian as an equal of sorts, stroking its head in passing and speaking to it as if it could understand him.

Lindir

✧ Goes to comical lengths to step away from and avoid the massive canine at your heels when first he meets it.

✧ Possibly even asks if it’s safe, has fleas, etc. but immediately retracts and offers pats when you glare at him for it. Finds himself smiling despite himself at the feeling of the soft fur beneath his hand.

✧ You’ve seen dogs that howl as their owners play instruments? Then you know exactly what it is I am saying. The kick Lindir gets out of this is astounding; he can’t even be annoyed.

✧ Jokes that you’re hiding a composer under the guise of a hunter.

✧ Takes to the idea of further training, seeing how such an intelligent creature could learn to open doors and fetch items, considering such a use for helping Rivendell’s infirmary patients and those struggling with loss of motion or senses.

Taglist: @kilibaggins @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart | Let me know if you’d like to join ☺️

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ach-sss-no · 21 days

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someone asked why i loudly asserted that the stewing rabbits bit of lotr is the opposite book vs. movie and i think it is time to move off of the giant reblog chain i'm making

The Premise: Sam, Frodo and Gollum are all doing the opposite of what they are doing in the book in some fashion or another

(first off: in the movie they abandon the stew and don't eat it. the book takes a lot longer with all of this, and they do in fact eat the stew, and I definitely understand the movie couldn't be as expansive with the pacing but it's just. funny to me. they don't eat the stew vs. they do eat the stew, there's your first opposite)

now. THE SCENE: Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit

(Small disclaimer/disclosure: I referenced the script instead of a movie clip for this, so there may be some nuance missed in visuals or whatever but I don't think it would be enough of a difference to matter and hopefully you will soon see why not)

Frodo

Starting with him because this is simplest.

In the movie, Frodo is just sitting there minding his own business when Gollum dumps dead rabbits in his lap. (Then he doesn't interact with the ensuing conversation at all)

In the book he's asleep when Gollum brings the rabbits and does not participate in the scene. Okay, so he's awake vs. asleep. Easy.

(Also, book Frodo didn't witness the conflict between the other two characters and had no opportunity to intervene, which creates an interesting 'what could have been', but I am digressing. We are only 10% of the way in. buckle up)

Sam

In the movie, Sam is passive and reacting. Gollum dumps dead rabbits in Mr. Frodo's lap oh no what do I guess we'll cook them

In the book, Sam is active and orchestrating events.

Sam decides of his own accord that he wants to address their dwindling supplies:

Sam had been giving earnest thought to food as they marched. Now that the despair of the impassable Gate was behind him, he did not feel so inclined as his master to take no thought for their livelihood beyond the end of their errand; [in case you forgot. Earlier on Sam was like 'we won't have enough food for the way back' and frodo essentially responds with 'the way back. oh you sweet summer child'] and anyway it seemed wiser to him to save the waybread of the Elves for worse times ahead.

Note: This is all very good reasoning by Mr. Samwise and an excellent example of why he's so necessary to the quest! Yes, staying alive is step one.

But Where to get food? In both movie and book Sam is taking advantage of his resources (dead rabbits acquired via gollum), but in the book he's way more proactive about it:

An idea struck him and he turned to Gollum. Gollum had just begun to sneak off on his own, and he was crawling away on all fours through the fern. 'Hi! Gollum!' said Sam. 'Where are you going? Hunting? Well see here, old noser, you don't like our food, and I'd not be sorry for a change myself. Your new motto's always ready to help. Could you find anything fit for a hungry hobbit? ' 'Yes, perhaps, yes,' said Gollum. 'Sméagol always helps, if they asks-- if they asks nicely.' 'Right!' said Sam. 'I does ask. And if that isn't nice enough, I begs.'

In this point in the book Sam has now:

Decided of his own accord that he has a problem and that he wants to actively solve it

Arrived at a solution to the problem without any outside help or suggestions

Commanded Gollum to go hunt

In the point in the movie Sam has done:

Nothing

I'm not exaggerating. In the movie the scene hasn't started yet.

In both book and movie, rabbits are acquired a little while later. In the book this is a nonevent because Sam requested and expected rabbits. In the movie, the rabbits unexpectedly appear, and Gollum says they are for the hobbits to eat (Sam doesn't even come up with the idea to eat them on his own!)

They are young. They are tender. They are nice. Yes they are! Eat them! Eat them! [He bites and tears into the raw meat.]

GOLLUM SHOWED HIM HOW TO EAT THEM LIKE A MOTHER CAT.

Anyway, in the movie, we just cut to Sam stewing the rabbits after that.

But in the book, Sam isn't done arranging things:

He thought for a bit, while he took out his knife, cleaned and whetted it, and began to dress the rabbits. He was not going to leave Frodo alone asleep even for a few minutes. 'Now, Gollum,' he said, 'I've another job for you. Go and fill these pans with water, and bring 'em back! '

'Sméagol will fetch water, yes,' said Gollum. 'But what does the hobbit want all that water for? He has drunk, he has washed.' 'Never you mind,' said Sam. `If you can't guess, you'll soon find out. And the sooner you fetch the water, the sooner you'll learn. Don't you damage one of my pans, or I'll carve you into mincemeat.'

So now Sam has:

Decided of his own accord that he has a problem and that he wants to actively solve it

Arrived at a solution to the problem without any outside help or suggestions

Commanded Gollum to go hunt

Lovingly watched Frodo sleep

Collected rabbits after they were provided and begun skinning them

Assigned Gollum to fill his cook-pans

Gollum leaves to do this new errand and Sam starts building a cook fire.

He was just stooping over his fire, shielding it and building it up with heavier wood, when Gollum returned, carrying the pans carefully and grumbling to himself. He set the pans down, and then suddenly saw what Sam was doing. He gave a thin hissing shriek, and seemed to be both frightened and angry. 'Ach! Sss -- no!' he cried. 'No! Silly hobbits, foolish, yes foolish! They mustn't do it!' 'Mustn't do what?' asked Sam in surprise. 'Not make the nassty red tongues,' hissed Gollum. `Fire, fire! It's dangerous, yes it is. It burns, it kills. And it will bring enemies, yes it will.'

Sam has just been given a completely sane and rational reason why a fire is a bad idea (they are in a dangerous area and can't risk attention!) (as well as a reason that is less pertinent- it looks like Gollum is afraid of fire, and he may have sensible reasons to be afraid of fire because it is dangerous, but this is not Sam's problem)

Sam addresses the 'it will bring enemies' thing

'I don't think so,' said Sam. `Don't see why it should, if you don't put wet stuff on it and make a smother. But if it does, it does. I'm going to risk it, anyhow. I'm going to stew these coneys.'

And Sam is like, nah.

Now Gollum gets upset that he's 'ruining good meat' by cooking it

Now Sam de-escalates

Now, now! ' said Sam. 'Each to his own fashion. Our bread chokes you, and raw coney chokes me. If you give me a coney, the coney's mine, see, to cook, if I have a mind. And I have. You needn't watch me. Go and catch another and eat it as you fancy -- somewhere private and out o' my sight. Then you won't see the fire, and I shan't see you, and we'll both be the happier. [He still managed to slip in a 'get out of my sight'] I'll see the fire don't smoke, if that's any comfort to you.'

In the movie he just insults the quality of the meat:

SAM What's to ruin? There's hardly any meat on 'em.

...which I suppose is fair in this alternate universe where the rabbits were just dumped in his lap, unwanted.

Then in the movie they skip to the taters conversation, but in the book, there's more!

Back to the book:

Gollum withdrew grumbling, and crawled into the fern. Sam busied himself with his pans. 'What a hobbit needs with coney,' he said to himself, 'is some herbs and roots, especially taters -- not to mention bread. Herbs we can manage, seemingly.' 'Gollum!' he called softly. 'Third time pays for all. I want some herbs.'

Gollum says no.

'Sméagol'll get into real true hot water, when this water boils, if he don't do as he's asked,' growled Sam. 'Sam'll put his head in it, yes precious. And I'd make him look for turnips and carrots, and taters too, if it was the time o' the year. I'll bet there's all sorts of good things running wild in this country. I'd give a lot for half a dozen taters.'

Now Gollum asks what taters are, gets a cryptic answer, and is offered a kind of food he has just expressed he does not want (cooked food) and again ordered to fetch herbs. Gollum declines.

'You couldn't say no to that.' 'Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish now, and keep nassty chips!' 'Oh you're hopeless,' said Sam. 'Go to sleep!'

The movie finally has some of the same words in almost the same place:

SAM PO-TAY-TOES! Boil 'em. Mash 'em. Stick 'em in a stew. Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish…. SM�AGOL [i'm not fixing it blah] [Sticks out his tongue in disgust] Pbbbttt!! [so now he's just devolved into making fart noises] SAM Even you couldn't say no to that. [He takes a sip of the stew] SM�AGOL Oh yes we could! Spoil nice fish... [scrambles up close to Sam] Give it to usss rrraw... and wrrriggling! [That line is not in the book. every time i see it quoted i age a year] [Makes sickeningly happy face.] You keep nasty chips. [Hops away] SAM You're hopeless.

The scene here ends in the movie.

In the movie, Sam has:

Watched rabbits be thrown at Frodo

Started cooking them after being all but commanded to eat them

Had some banter with Gollum

Left the scene without eating his stew

Sam is a passive character who is not orchestrating events, but rather reacting to them. A character being passive is not in and of itself a bad thing. I am only pointing it out because it is different from the book and a big change to this specific character (wanted to mention that because some people really don't like passive characters in general, I think they have a place. Frodo is rather passive in this scene but he obviously has a purpose.)

...In the book, Sam stews the rabbits for an hour and then eats the stew with Frodo

Frodo yawned and stretched. 'You should have been resting Sam,' he said. 'And lighting a fire was dangerous in these parts.

Wow! Was it? I feel like someone mentioned that earlier.

'Gollum! ' Sam called and whistled softly. 'Come on! Still time to change your mind. There's some left, if you want to try stewed coney.' There was no answer. 'Oh well, I suppose he's gone off to find something for himself. We'll finish it,' said Sam. [...] We don't see eye to eye, and he's not pleased with Sam, O no precious, not pleased at all.'

Whyever not?

To sum, book!Sam has:

Decided of his own accord that he has a problem and that he wants to actively solve it

Decided he's going to assign Gollum to the problem (This also demonstrates Sam's interpersonal intelligence. He notices what Gollum's capable of and understands intuitively how it can be turned to something industrious and useful) (Sam has made some missteps in other areas which are in the next section)

Commanded Gollum to go hunt

Collected rabbits after they were provided (according to his request), and began skinning them

Watched Frodo sleep

Assigned Gollum to fill his cook-pans, specifically because he does not want to leave Gollum and Frodo alone together, which is sensible

Threatened to carve Gollum into mincemeat, while holding a knife

Watched Frodo sleep and reflected on his poor health

Skinned the rabbits and put them in stew

Been told a cook fire is a bad idea and declined to stop what he's doing. A character being told to stop doing something & continuing with it anyway is another way for that character to show agency.

Asked Gollum to fetch herbs and potatoes (was refused)

Foraged a few herbs himself

Eaten lovely stew (while lamenting that there are no onions in it, and no bowls to put it in ;_;)

Offered Gollum stew long after (hours after) Gollum got angry and left

...all because Sam initially decided he wanted to acquire and cook food, and then took every necessary step to make that happen of his own accord.

Sam is an active character with high agency.

He is also showing more care for Frodo here (watching him while asleep and fretting over his health, lamenting that he somehow made rabbit stew from nothing by using his resources (which do here include another character- people are also resources!) but he can't put it in a nice bowl for mr. frodo- there's just a lot more here, which is natural because prose is a more detail-rich medium. Not all of this would have fit in the movie and I'm not saying it should have.

Even allowing for time, however, I do think there would have been a way to collapse this scene to the needed time requirement and still have Sam in charge of it instead of Gollum.

The scene finally ends on:

Then he noticed a thin spiral of blue-grey, smoke, plain to see as it caught the sunlight, rising from a thicket above him. With a shock he realized that this was the smoke from his little cooking-fire, which he had neglected to put out.

Did anyone foresee this?

Gollum

In the movie, Gollum is foisting a gift on Frodo and forcing social interaction that he doesn't want.

In the book, Gollum wants to go away somewhere so he can eat and is pressed into reluctant manual labor instead

Gollum is a little different from the other two characters in that his personality and motivations are also completely different here. (Where as Sam at least still has the same goals of looking after Frodo and making food.)

The scene is in Sam's POV so what Gollum is thinking and feeling has to be inferred from his actions/words/tone, but he's not exactly subtle.

The movie scene starts off with Gollum turning up with rabbits. He dumps them in Frodo's lap. He makes a spectacle of himself. He starts mauling the corpses.

The book scene starts off with Gollum trying to slip away somewhere to eat in private.

That's another thing. Gollum doesn't demonstratively bite into things Gollum always slips away somewhere to eat in private. Earlier:

It was actually not long before Gollum returned; but he came so quietly that they did not hear him till he stood before them. His fingers and face were soiled with black mud. He was still chewing and slavering. [He didn't bring food back on purpose. He's still chewing because he only has six teeth.] What he was chewing, they did not ask or like to think. 'Worms or beetles or something slimy out of holes,' thought Sam. 'Brr! The nasty creature; the poor wretch! ' Gollum said nothing to them, until he had drunk deeply and washed himself in the stream. Then he came up to them, licking his lips. 'Better now,' he said.

(Emphasis added.. Imagine you just recruited a serial killer to your D&D-party-in-real-life and he silently turns up covered in mud and won't talk to you. It looks like he's been eating bugs. He won't speak. he won't tell you what he's eating.)

Back to the scene in question: Gollum's leaving. Sam flags him down and asks him to hunt.

'Hi! Gollum!' said Sam. 'Where are you going? Hunting? Well see here, old noser, you don't like our food, and I'd not be sorry for a change myself. Your new motto's always ready to help. Could you find anything fit for a hungry hobbit? '

He asks in an insulting and confrontational way. ('old noser' + 'Your new motto's always ready to help' reeking of suspicion)

To be clear, I'm not criticizing Sam whatsoever for disliking and being suspicious of the known murderer he's traveling with against his will. but the way he talks to Gollum does have consequences.

'Yes, perhaps, yes,' said Gollum. 'Sméagol always helps, if they asks -- if they asks nicely.'

Gollum is reluctant and asks to be treated politely. I don't find this response disproportionate or unreasonable. Consider what would happen if anyone talked to LOTR-era Bilbo Baggins the way Sam just talked to Gollum. The ash would still be falling from the sky.

Anyway Sam's response is to mimic the way he talks.

'Right!' said Sam. 'I does ask. And if that isn't nice enough, I begs.'

Gollum leaves, and is gone a long time. While he's gone, Sam gazes lovingly at Frodo, and - this is not directly relevant but I wanted to note it:

Gollum returned quietly and peered over Sam's shoulder. Looking at Frodo, he shut his eyes and crawled away without a sound. [Seeing that Sam and Frodo are occupied, Gollum slips away without interrupting, which is also a different vibe from 'assaulting Frodo with rabbits while he's just sitting there.'] Sam came to him a moment later and found him chewing something and muttering to himself

Look! There's a character arc happening in the background [but not in the movies] It will reach fruition at Cirith Ungol [in the books]

Anyway, Gollum is chewing on something so he's clearly taken time out to hunt for himself as well (note for context: He's disastrously underweight and has been complaining of hunger).

On the ground beside him lay two small rabbits, which he was beginning to eye greedily. 'Sméagol always helps,' he said. `He has brought rabbits, nice rabbits. But master has gone to sleep, and perhaps Sam wants to sleep. Doesn't want rabbits now? Sméagol tries to help, but he can't catch things all in a minute.'

Gollum has brought rabbits on command, and he's reluctant to hand them over. This is the direct opposite of bringing rabbits of his own accord out of nowhere and forcing them onto somebody.

'Now, Gollum,' he said, 'I've another job for you. Go and fill these pans with water, and bring 'em back! ' 'Sméagol will fetch water, yes,' said Gollum. 'But what does the hobbit want all that water for? He has drunk, he has washed.' 'Never you mind,' said Sam.

That was a reasonable question, asked politely and prefaced by 'yes I'll do it'. There's no call for a 'never you mind' and there's certainly no call for this:

`If you can't guess, you'll soon find out. And the sooner you fetch the water, the sooner you'll learn. Don't you damage one of my pans, or I'll carve you into mincemeat.'

Gollum does the work and is careful with the pans as requested.

He was just stooping over his fire, shielding it and building it up with heavier wood, when Gollum returned, carrying the pans carefully and grumbling to himself.

He set the pans down, and then suddenly saw what Sam was doing.

Gollum discovers that 'Never you mind' meant 'I am going to do something you find dangerous and terrifying' i'm pretty sure this is what he's seeing in his POV

He gave a thin hissing shriek, and seemed to be both frightened and angry. `Ach! Sss -- no!' he cried.

Gollum gets angry.

At this point in the movie, Gollum has:

Dumped rabbits in Frodo's lap

Told him to eat them

Played with the dead animals in front of Frodo

there's a cut to Sam cooking the rabbits- Gollum makes no comment at all on the safety or feasibility of a fire, but gets right up close to it to peer into the cookpot, so he must not be too scared of it.

In the book, Gollum has:

Tried to slip away, presumably to eat, because he's hungry. Or maybe he just wants alone time! Shelob is not in visiting range. He's not being dastardly. Leave him alone

He's been flagged down to do additional work, and interrupted from whatever he wanted to do

Went off somewhere. Caught two rabbits (with his bare hands, I assume??) Also caught at least one other thing, because he's chewing something when he comes back

Came back with rabbits

Left Sam to his tender moment with Frodo and went off for more alone time

Gently floated the idea that perhaps Sam doesn't want these rabbits anymore, surrendered the rabbits when asked

Agreed to another errand that is probably difficult for him to do, after hunting down at least two rabbits Up to this point Gollum has been called 'old noser', had his speech patterns parroted at him in a mocking way, had a polite question refused, and been told he will be 'carved into mincemeat' if he damages the cooking pans (does Gollum even know what a cooking pan is? When was the last time he's seen one? Was he just handed some foreign object and told 'put water in it and don't break it' 'of course! why?' 'stfu') Gollum has a whole long complicated history that would reasonably make him very prone to difficulties with emotional regulation. Severe trauma and centuries of social isolation are involved.

He only just now gets angry, now that he thinks Sam is going to start a forest fire and summon orcs and the first word out of his mouth is a relatively restrained 'Ach!' a word that doesn't even start with an F!

Gollum says fire is harmful and will draw enemy attention. Sam says essentially 'probably not but if it does that's too bad'.

Another bit of context is that Gollum has been presenting himself as the 'wilderness survival guy' and has obvious pride when he's talking about finding his way through the marsh. Sam isn't just being dismissive of Gollum, he's particularly dismissing something Gollum has real knowledge of and takes pride in that has nothing to do with being a corrupted evildoer.

Then Sam says he's going to cook the food.

'Stew the rabbits!' squealed Gollum in dismay. `Spoil beautiful meat Sméagol saved for you, poor hungry Sméagol! What for? What for, silly hobbit? They are young, they are tender, they are nice. Eat them, eat them!' He clawed at the nearest rabbit, already skinned and lying by the fire.

After all of that, we are at 'They are young, they are tender, they are nice. Eat them, eat them!' In the movie, the scene started with this line, apropros of nothing, and it's just. Yelled at Frodo. It's an invitation.

In the book: The same line is a cry of frustration. This isn't a non sequitur, this is a last straw! Gollum is hungry. He's been chronically hungry for a long time. The rabbits are exactly the kind of thing he likes to eat. They must smell amazing to him because now they're skinned. He had to turn them over to Sam after going to the work of hunting them (he didn't have to do this, he could have just not come back, or pretended he didn't find anything- whether or not his motives are pure, and they probably aren't, he's doing what he promised).

In return: Sam told him to do more work, and then started a fire- which Gollum seems to genuinely think is idiotic and puts his own safety at risk because he's stuck with these hobbits for the time being- Sam won't listen to reason and put it out, and to add insult to injury, that meat he insisted on?

HE'S JUST GOING TO RUIN IT

Imagine you were hungry and you brought someone an oreo (also you had to wander around in the woods and find the oreo and then surprise it from behind and break its neck), and that person just! scraped off the cream filling and replaced it with spray cheese! after that person called you a jerk and set a fire in a trash can! Maybe that person loves spray-cheese oreos! Maybe everyone but you loves them! I think you'd still be frustrated! (If you're the person who loves spray cheese oreos, pretend it's something else.)

On my first reading of the book this is where I got that sinking 'I am feeling a mite sympathetic to the horrible murderer that I know is just going to stay evil and die in the end' feeling. Gollum is being dreadfully annoying, but he's been pushed past his ability to self-regulate. It feels like the dynamic of antagonizing someone until they melt down and then criticizing them for melting down (Sam is not intending to do this, and doesn't even seem to notice that's what's happened, but the result is the same.)

Sam smooths things over and lets Gollum leave! until

Until

'Gollum!' he called softly. 'Third time pays for all. I want some herbs.' Gollum's head peeped out of the fern, but his looks were neither helpful nor friendly.

WHYEVER NOT?

'A few bay-leaves, some thyme and sage, will do -- before the water boils,' said Sam. 'No! ' said Gollum. `Sméagol is not pleased. And Sméagol doesn't like smelly leaves. He doesn't eat grasses or roots, no precious, not till he's starving or very sick, poor Sméagol.'

(Gollum was retching at the scent of flowers earlier. He may be annoyingly dramatic but I have no cause to doubt that they really did make him feel ill)

(also, I'm out in the weeds speculating now, but I just noticed Gollum is starting to spout off talking about himself and how he feels after Sam pooh-poohed his fretting about the fire, and it feels like a bid for recognition, did you notice Sam has not been calling him Sméagol? Sam isn't using his real name.)

The response:

'Sméagol'll get into real true hot water, when this water boils, if he don't do as he's asked,' growled Sam.

Gollum is here under duress and is cooperating with a quest that is in every way opposed to his personal interests and survival.

'Sméagol won't go, O no precious, not this time,' hissed Gollum. 'He's frightened, and he's very tired, and this hobbit's not nice, not nice at all. Sméagol won't grub for roots and carrotses and -- taters. What's taters, precious, eh, what's taters?

He hasn't had any rest because he was immediately sent off to hunt. I'll bet he is tired

Gollum is still willing to stop being angry because he saw a shiny new word, let's see how this goes

`Po-ta-toes,' said Sam. 'The Gaffer's delight, and rare good ballast for an empty belly. But you won't find any, so you needn't look. But be good Sméagol and fetch me the herbs, and I'll think better of you

Sam gives a cryptic answer and demands more work. 'I'll think better of you?' Lies! Gollum just did two errands and received nothing but more verbal abuse. Sam did not even thank him. This was where on my first reading I was saying to myself 'oh no Sam is mishandling this really badly and doesn't even notice'

I'll cook you some taters one of these days. I will: fried fish and chips served by S. Gamgee. You couldn't say no to that.' 'Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish now, and keep nassty chips! ' 'Oh you're hopeless,' said Sam. 'Go to sleep!'

Gollum doesn't understand what chips are. He just said he doesn't like plants or cooked food. He's tired and hungry and has been ordered around all day. He did everything asked up to now and in return he gets called hopeless.

Sméagol willingly, nonconfrontationally, successfully did two out of the three tasks, and when he refuses a third task after being demeaned and dismissed, he's called hopeless.

So Gollum leaves. That's the end of his involvement in this scene. he didn't hit anyone, bite anyone, or call Sam anything worse than 'not nice', 'silly' and 'foolish' (He does not call Sam a 'stupid fat hobbit', that appears to be a movie invention as well)

In the movies, he threw dead animals at frodo and some of this dialog was said without any of the context. haha funni.

The takeaways from the book version are that Gollum can understand and follow verbal commands and do errands (this is important because Gollum needs to be somewhat sane and lucid in order to satisfyingly be held accountable for his crimes), will cooperate when asked, communicates poorly, has trouble controlling his temper, and may at any time be in physical distress and not show it. (He doesn't give outward signs of fatigue.)

The takeaways from the movie version seem to be that Gollum is hyperactive, doesn't understand facial expressions, and finds cooking to be an alien custom. No one tried to ask him to do anything, so I have no idea whether he can understand requests and do tasks or not. May or may not be lucid.

Can we at least agree that Sam saying 'You're hopeless' after this:

Give it to usss rrraw… and wrrriggling! [Makes sickeningly happy face.]

is a different vibe from Sam saying 'You're hopeless' after hearing this?

'[Sméagol]'s frightened, and he's very tired, and this hobbit's not nice, not nice at all.'

Summary

Why is this scene the opposite?

Frodo has gone from being asleep but serving as an emotional anchor (both Sam and Gollum look at him and have some kind of emotional revelation, although the latter has his in private and we don't ever know what it is, the cad) to being awake but doing nothing and leaving. (He does go and find Faramir when the scene ends, but at that point, we are moving on to the next scene. so I don't count it.) Frodo has gone from affecting events while asleep to having no effect while awake

Sam has gone from being in charge of what's happening to passively reacting to a chaos gremlin

Gollum has gone from following orders until he can't take it anymore and suffering to being a chaos gremlin who does whatever he wants and seemingly having a good time? he's dancing around

The stew goes from eaten to uneaten

The overall purpose of the original scene appears to have been mainly to establish character and relationship dynamics. The movie scene... is doing the same, I suppose, but it's so brief and stripped of context that it almost feels like an homage more than a real scene, like it's there because they couldn't get away with entirely cutting it. And as every character is behaving contrary to what they used to in one form or another, the overall effect is:

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Ask me about the waterfall scene next

#long post #never ask me about the waterfall scene

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mushroomates · 11 months

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some boromir headcanons

he likes to eat spicy food. he cannot handle the spice, but keeps eating it anyways.

he stays up during merry and pippin’s watches during the night. half because he wants to keep them awake and give them company, half because he’s pretty sure they wont be paying attention.

best hugs. he will kind of pick u up while he hugs u.

would wear a fanny pack.

his favorite food is chicken. he likes any kind of chicken. also likes apples.

decent story teller. can recall gondor’s history easy. when he starts talking about it, he becomes very passionate and has been known to yell or cry while retelling events.

carries around a packet of dirt from gondor around with him for good luck.

tried to make his own brew. went blind for a little bit after trying it. gimli fuckin loves it tho, tried it at gondor and brought a batch with him.

has dogs. took in a stray while patrolling the city, named him Minas. Minas lived a long and happy life, and afterwards Faramir brought him a puppy who he named Ithil.

he is also allergic to dogs. insists otherwise.

his men call him “big brother boromir” behind his back. he pretends not to know.

once pippin called him dad and he coasted on that high for weeks

afraid of heights. will not admit it.

great with babies. would carry faramir around. his dad let him even though boromir was only five at the time, and faramir would try and wiggle out of his arms.

he whittles!!! or carves. works with wood. he made little trinkets for the hobbits in his spare time during the journey. he made pippin a little wooden dog and merry a rabbit because merrys kinda afraid of dogs. he made a bill the pony for sam after moria and was working on a cat for frodo before he passed away. it was in his pocket, half made. the didn’t spot it before he sailed away.

made faramir toys when they were younger- whole barnyard full of animals and some important gondor land marks. also a mini version of their family. faramir passed this down to pippin, who passed it down to his kids. it’s now a family heirloom.

dyslexic. faramir would read to him while he carved trinkets and such.

the fellowship goes out of their way to visit this shrine. he also has one in gondor, rivendell, and just outside of lorien.

boromir tried to teach merry and pippin wood carving once. pippins carving tools were quickly confiscated but merry learned how to make a boat.

merry officially took up wood carving after his death. he makes little boats for the hobbitlings and they have a race every summer down stream.

he also taught the hobbits how to make said boats, so when they’re older they hold the race themself. afterwards, they take the winning boat down to the graveyard.

boromir has a grave in the shire that the hobbits put gifts on, including said boats. it’s on the edge of the forest by the river. the fellowship all come to visit. some things left include: flowers, hot sauce, wooden toys, notes, homemade jam, pretty rocks, and some of farmer maggot’s produce. farmer maggot does not know of this.

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nanowrimo · 7 months

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Write Meow! 4 Writing Tips Cats Teach Us

Did you know cats have a lot of wisdom about the writing process? It's because of their cat lifestyles! NaNo Participant Megan Jenkins lets us know what our wise cat friends can teach us about writing.

“Cats are too human-like,” my friend complained while explaining to my cat-lady-self why she’s a dog person. I laughed, but after pondering my cat’s behavior, I realized just how much cats can teach us about becoming a better human, and more importantly, a better writer. (Arguably.)

Here are a few writing lessons we can learn from cats.

1. Have a Routine

As someone who rolled her eyes at this advice for years, I still cannot believe that my cat hoodwinked me into a morning routine.

My cat was right though.

Writing for 15 minutes during my cat’s breakfast has me writing more than ever before. While 15 minutes may not seem like a lot, giving yourself prompts for the next session and having consistent sessions helps you accomplish more than you would think.

Also, cats are great accountability partners. If you stray from their routine, they will meow loudly and slap you with their paw. (Or is that just my cat?)

2. Take Breaks

Before my cat, my writing process was to write for hours at a time on a random weekend day. This process was exhausting and made me feel like I had to block an entire day for writing, which is becoming increasingly impossible.

However, cats inherently know the importance of taking breaks and stepping away from screens, which is why they sit in front of our keyboards and computers when we spend too much time on them (I assume).

One way to remember to take breaks is to participate in writing sprints, in which writers write together for a set time.

For any fellow introverts, the Pomodoro Technique, in which you work for 25 minutes then break for 5 minutes with a longer break after four rounds, has been shown to increase productivity.

You might hesitate to try sprints or Pomodoro like I did because you love to emerge yourself in your writing for hours. However, I have found that both methods have built my endurance, allowing me to write longer.

Plus, the frequent breaks to entertain my cat prevent her from hijacking my keyboard.

3. Prioritize Meals

Cats are grazers, meaning they eat several small meals throughout the day, which they do not like to miss.

Unlike my cat, I skipped meals all the time. I couldn’t be like Pippin in The Lord of the Rings asking for second breakfast while on an important quest!

However, modeling my cat, I now prioritize my eating. While it may not work for everyone, eating throughout the day gives me energy to write after work, not just rewatch The Lord of the Rings.

Since you are likely not on a quest to eliminate all evil, try prioritizing eating, like cats (and hobbits) do, and see how it impacts your writing.

4. Focus on the Present

Do you sometimes focus so much on the past or the future that you forget about the present? I do. With NaNoWriMo especially, I tend to over-plan and dwell on any minor failures.

Cats don’t do this. Cats live in the present, and while cats learn from their past, they do not dwell on their failures or worry about the future. Instead, cats deal with problems when they arise.

Similarly, do not torture yourself if you have a bad writing day (or week or month) or worry about every what-if. Instead, use the past to improve your current writing session.

As NaNoWriMo begins, I hope what I have learned from cats’ behavior helps remind you to have a healthier relationship with writing, which is ultimately the goal of NaNoWriMo. Besides the 50k.

Megan is a business risk and control advisor at a financial institution. The rest of her time, she spends dreaming of fantastical places. Her love for language led her to obtain a BA in English with a concentration in professional writing and an MA in Technical Communication and Rhetoric. When she is not writing, reading, or editing, she also enjoys traveling, watching movies, and spending time with her family and cat, Sophie. Connect with her on Linkedin or Goodreads!

Photo by Pixabay

#nanowrimo #writing #writing advice #writing tips #writer's life #by nano guest #megan jenkins

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buckyalpine · 1 year

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Peter’s Hamster

Crack fic alert: Imagine Bucky with a pet he never wanted. He’s around the compound more cause he’s taking a break from missions for a while. In the meantime, Peter brought a hamster from the pet store and Tony is not having any of it.

“No”

“C’mon Mr. Stark, you won’t even notice him-

“I can smell him from the lab”

“I’ll invent something to stop the smell”

“Aren’t pets expensive”

“Aren’t you a billionaire?”

“Shut up Romanoff”

“He was like 2 bucks!”

Peter manages to squirrel his way into keeping his newest friend but there’s still the matter of who would care for him when everyone else as away on missions. Anyway, Bucky made it clear he would have no part in hamster sitting. Not one bit. If everyone was away then the hamster would have to fend for himself.

Like today. It had already been a few days since the collective team had left leaving Bucky in perfect solitude with his worn copy of the hobbit and his secret guilty pleasure; peanut butter cups. No one would ever EVER see the former winter soldiers suck off the chocolate left on the wrapper, licking his lips like a cat after every bit between flipping pages.

It was perfect.

Except.

Bucky could hear the sound of the squeaky wheel of the hamster going at full speed, the high pitched squeals piercing through the air.

“For fucks sake, can’t you keep it down” he grumbled before pausing and closing his eyes. “…I’m talking to a hamster”

….

“who can’t hear me”

Eventually the rustling and scurrying gets to him so he reluctantly goes over to Peters room to see what the 3 gram rodent is up to. He notices the pellet bowl is empty and water has almost run dry, though the little fur ball didn’t seem to care just yet, more concerned about cleaning and pawing at his face.

“If you had more than half a brain cell you would’ve escaped and fed yourself” Bucky scoffed, ready to turn on his heel but the tiny beady eyes that look at him make him stop.

“Pathetic” he mumbled before finding the bag of food under a pile of Peter’s clothes “no more wonder he bought a hamster, he lives like one”

The hamster nudges against him when he refills his bowl, using it as an opportunity to escape by climbing up his arm and sitting on his shoulder.

“Seriously”

The small light brown puffball stayed there while Bucky scoffed, plucking him off and plopping him back in, narrowing his eyes at it.

“This was a one time thing. Figure it out”

Is what he said and fully intended on standing by but the squeaky wheels and rustling get to him. At one point, he swears it’s on purpose as the hamsters way of getting his attention for a food refill.

So he takes matters into his own hands

“If you won’t feed yourself, I’ll teach you”

So the late night sessions begin. Rigorous circuits for the thing that was smaller than his palm, learning how to scale the cake, click the lock open and nibble its way into the pellets.

“I’m training a hamster”

Bucky caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, a few stray pieces of woodchips dusting his clothes while the hamster (who he now called PB....based on an interesting choice...) completed another around in less than 0 seconds.

“I’m training a fucking hamster”

“Good Job PB” Bucky petted his head with one finger, stopping when he was about to comment on his ability to climb the cage,

“And still talking to it”

Imagine the absolute confusion the team feels when they get back to find random clear tubes running along the walls, each connecting to a different room, most tubes leading to the snack cupboards and counter tops.

The walk into the living room and no one breathes a word, too entranced by the sight of a very focused Bucky and Peter’s hamster, perched on the super soldier. He sits on Bucky's shoulder, remnants of sunflower seeds left over on the coffee table while Bucky nibbles on a peanut butter cup.

“What the fuck”

Bucky turned around to find everyone staring at him with a variety of expressions from shock to amusement to utter confusion. At this point, Bucky couldn’t not care less, shrugging before holding up a seed to his shoulder so PB could grab it in his tiny hands.

“Which episode now, PB” “Who the fuck is PB”

Bucky pointed to the furball while scrolling through Netflix, avoiding any animal documentaries, not wanting to traumatize his new tiny friend.

“You named him PB?”

“Yup”

“Based off of what” Tony cocked and eyebrow while Bucky snorted, feeding him another sunflower seed.

“We’ll, I originally called him Parker’s balls”

Imagine after this Bucky has PB trained to wreck havoc and steal things he likes from just about anywhere. Peter gets absolute shit from Tony because 1 Bucky was enough chaos and now its Bucky plus this tiny demon.

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itsonlydana · 2 months

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"passenger princess" | epilogue

the hobbit | a modern!AU by itsonlydana

❱ pairing: Thranduil x fem!reader

❱ wordcount: 4,8k

❱ summary: Dating Thranduil Oropherion and the PDA that comes with it

❱ warnings: none

❱ an: here we go, one last night in this story✨️ title once again taken from hoziers "abstract" // also: are any of you interested in a official hobbit/thranduil taglist?

general m.list + series m.list

🌿 reposts and comments are appreciated, they motivate me a lot - especially with longer projects <3

THE MOMENT I KNEW I'D NO CHOICE BUT TO LOVE YOU

The evening welcomed you with a chilly embrace and whispered breezes danced through the coat you clung to, drawing it closer as you emerged from the car.

Your head lifted, attention drawn to the imposing building before you. Unbeknownst to you, your jaw subtly fell, lips parting in a muted "Oh" that almost escaped notice, barely reaching your own ears.

"It's quite a sight, isn't it?" Next to you, Thranduil closed the door to the passenger seat of his car after he had helped you out.

He handed the keys and a few notes of cash to a young valet, whose eyes widened as if he were to drive the Batmobile. The boy rushed to the driver's side of the car, the keys turning on the ignition, and the motor purred smooth like a cat.

You barely noticed it, only felt the vibrations of the car starting. Your eyes were glued to the building in front of you. "It's beautiful," you whispered in awe.

The Imladris Opera House lit up the sky's deep and endless midnight blue.

A washed-out white stone façade rose high up in front of you, its architectural features of multicolored marble friezes, columns, and lavish statuary were illuminated by what must have been hundreds of hidden lights. On either side of the left and right avant-corps two gilded angel figures reached their hands towards the center of the building where a glass dome made the highest point of the palace.

Frozen on the spot, you could not take a step on your own until you felt the gentle push of Thranduil's hand on the small of your back. Looking away for just a second, you glanced at him, shot him a bright smile, and let him guide you towards the building.

The weeks had swiftly slipped away, and it hardly felt like an entire season had passed since that fateful night spent cuddled together.

Late summer had given way to autumn, a season dedicated to delving deeper into each other's lives. Evenings were spent on his couch, sipping wine and sharing every detail about the paths you had walked before finding each other. The world transformed into a canvas of colors, with flaming red and orange leaves falling during your walks, and the glow of candlelight casting a warm ambiance as you lost yourselves between the covers.

Your friendship with Legolas grew impossibly stronger, too, with entire weeks now spent at their house. Clad in long sweaters that grazed your knees, you chatted day and night, studied from breakfast to dinner, enjoyed late evening snacks, and repeated the cycle the next day.

Time blurred into a mosaic of tender touches, lingering kisses, and laughter beneath the sheets.

Before you knew it, Thranduil had once again invited you to the Opera, and once again, you had gladly accepted.

As you got closer, the building grew and grew until you had to let your head fall into your neck trying to explore the intricate details you could only see up close, like the elaborate roses carved into the marble columns.

Thranduil caught your wandering looks and his hand slipped from your back to intertwine his gloved fingers with yours as he leaned down a bit.

"It is said that the architect only accepted the project in exchange for the hand of the king's one and only daughter- who was promised to a prince at the time." – Thranduil's voice reached a dramatic cadence, purely for effect – "No one else dared to take on the tasks of building this Opera, the king had ludicrous ideas of combining multiple styles into one that no other architect thought themselves sane enough to try."

You leaned into his side, your hands brushing against the expensive fabric of his knee-long, black woolen coat. When he started talking, explaining the history of this marvelous building you were so close to entering, his voice fell into the passion that you so adored to watch.

No building, even one as breathtaking as the Imladris Opera House, could be more fascinating than watching Thranduil explain something to you that he cared deeply about.

In the golden tones of the cast iron streetlamps flickering their lights, Thranduil's eyes had taken on a fascinated glitter. It disappeared when he noticed you staring up at him, a quick shadow passing over his usually composed face. "Excuse my rambling," he said and you pouted in disagreement.

"Don't apologize," you shook your head, "you know that I enjoy listening to you" And with a quick movement, you rose to your tiptoes, sneaking a peck onto his from the winter air cold lips. In a low and hushed voice, you murmured: "Talk architectural to me" and felt the blood rush into your cheeks when his eyebrows rose on his forehead.

His eyes crinkled at that, the corner of his mouth twitching in that tell-tale smirk that he reserved for those innuendos that passed between you two, ever since the slip of your tongue on the night he invited you to the Opera in the first place.

He planted a gentle kiss on your temple, his lips pausing briefly before he spoke again. "Okay, then, but feel free to interrupt if I start to bore you."

You nodded with enthusiasm. "Absolutely, don't worry. Although everything you say is interesting to me, you know that."

"I'll hold you to that when you start grumbling about your university papers and ask me to help you understand them," he teased.

"Uhmm– that has nothing to do with you," you rolled your eyes, not intending to mock him but to emphasize the sheer annoyance coursing through you at the thought of your coursework. "It's just that my brain ceases to function if I have to read another dull statement from some politician who kicked the bucket centuries ago and contributed nothing positive to society."

Thranduil chuckled and gently lifted your hands, placing another kiss on your knuckles. "I adore it when you're resolute about highlighting all their wrongdoings instead of doing what's required of you," his lips brushed against your skin, setting ablaze the areas he touched. "My firecracker."

You grinned and gave a playful tug on his hand. "Come on, then, enlighten me with the story behind this building."

Thranduil then began fulfilling your ask and since you had a few moments before you had to enter, he pulled you along the walls.

Whenever he talked about some fascinating architectural features ("There are multiple styles but the ones standing out the most are these elements of the Renaissance, Baroque and Neoclassical"), his long fingers pointed towards them, using statues to explain his statements.

You walked along the front façade until you could peek around the corner and he showed you one of the two pavilions- the other one was on the right side of the building, another mathematical symmetric design choice ("Which points to the architect's inspiration by the renaissance").

After that, you turned around again to walk towards the main entrance, where, feeding into your nervousness, a larger crowd had formed a line. Thranduil's hand in yours gripped you tighter as you approached those fashionable men and women who, in your mind, must have seen right through the smile you now wore more so as a mask than out of pure joy.

Despite all the dates planned leading up to this, starting with coffee dates turning into evening dinner outings at restaurants that you felt comfortable with until you let Thranduil choose some that he wanted to take you, you felt like a fish out of water.

Yes, Legolas had helped you select clothes that fitted the occasion, ones you already had because Thranduil would disapprove of you buying an outfit that served as a costume rather than what you felt comfortable with, but right now, staring at the elegant hats and lavish dresses, nothing seemed like the right choice.

Thranduil must have noticed that you grew quieter, answering what became a monologue rather than dialogue, with nods and "Hmms". He didn't say anything out loud, nor did he stop talking, probably relying on the whispered reassurance that you had given him one evening when he had fallen into a monologue such as this one, raving on about a book he had read when you'd admitted how much it calmed you to hear him speak.

You let him tug you under his arm, resting your cheek against his side while you slowly shuffled forward in the line.

Coming closer to the double doors opened wide enough to let golden light fall out into the night and bathe those entering into its nearly godlike shimmer, the storm inside you ebbed into a breeze, scarcely shuffling through some thoughts that your mind couldn't let go just yet.

Considering what you have gone through, this date shouldn't scare you. This was Thranduil beside you, the man who held your heart carefully in the palm of his hand as much as his arm secured you right now, he would make sure that this night would play out like you wanted.

"When we enter you will see–"

You interrupted Thranduil with a gentle nudge of your head against his chest. The smile that now graced your mouth was soft and real again, something Thranduil immediately caught onto.

"Thank you," you said without further explanation; it wasn't needed.

"You are welcome, my dear," Thranduil leaned down again, hovering over your lips as his eyes took you in as if to make sure to imprint your smile into his memory, before closing the gap between you.

There was no hesitation in the way he kissed you, his lips parted as soon as you lifted your chin higher to meet him and a barely audible but deep and sensual hum spilled into your mouth. One of his gloved hands cupped your cheek to angle your head and his thump stroked over your jaw. It fell open with the slight pressure performed from the finger, inviting him in to deepen the kiss.

Only the clearing of a throat behind you reminded you that you were for one in public, close to making out like teenagers, and second standing in line.

While you pulled away from Thranduil, your head flushed beet red, and muttering: "Sorry, I'm so sorry, yes, sorry, we will move", Thranduil looked awfully pleased with himself as he lifted his hand to wipe away some lipstick that had stained the corner of his mouth.

He shot you a wink as your eyes flittered over the deliberately slow movement of his thumb and you rolled your eyes, cheeks flaming hot.

You rushed to close the gap that had formed while you and Thranduil had been all over each other, giving the woman and her grinning husband another apologetic nod and smile. You pulled on the red scarf that Thranduil wore around his neck.

"You're impossible," you murmured, casting him a scornful glance, then burying your face in a cold hand, "Oh God, how embarrassing"

Thranduil's chuckle at your attempt to hide your heated cheeks and probably reddened lips only showed you how little he regretted the kiss.

"Darling," he began, still grinning widely and clearly proud of his talent for unraveling you in public like that, "If it bothers you too much, I'll restrain myself. However," – he leaned in, whispering the next words in your ear – "look how everyone looks at us. They envy me for standing beside you, for not having the most exquisite person in one of their arms."

You raised your head just in time to see a young man a few meters in front of you hastily jerk away and, promptly, dropped his ticket. When he stood up again after fishing for the paper on the ground, he looked back at you, then at Thranduil and oh, there really was something like envy in his eyes.

And because Thranduil was Thranduil, a cocky asshole at times, he smiled at the boy while his arm dropped to your waist provocatively.

You only rolled your eyes, yet this public display of affection and possessiveness had your heart flutter in your chest.

Heart pounding through your rib cage, his large hand holding you to him, you muttered something through your teeth.

Thranduil raised one eyebrow interested. "Could you maybe repeat that, I did not understand what you said."

"I said," you took a deep breath, huffing out air that dissolved into a white cloud, "–that I do not mind the kisses."

A grin filled with satisfaction spread across Thranduil's face at that, dimples carved out into porcelain skin. The hand on your waist held on tighter and it took a simple tug of him for your body to turn into his again, a simple twitch of his lips for you to kiss him.

This time though, you made sure to have it last no longer than a quick peck as the line moved and just when you separated, the crowd in front of you cleared.

"Good evening, Mister Oropherion! I haven't seen you in a while," a young woman greeted Thranduil, and overcome with shock you stared at your partner.

"Good to see you again, Sigrid", Thranduil winked at you, mouthing a "Later" when he noticed your bewilderment. Delving into the depths of his black coat, he retrieved a golden card – the Opera's emblem gleaming in the lantern light – as Sigrid waved her hand.

"Ohh, you know I don't need to check your card, Sir!"

Thranduil laughed and the card disappeared in the pocket of his coat again. "I know, I know. I also know that your boss wouldn't like you skipping formalities just because it is me" – his mouth curved into a smirk, "ah and I have someone to impress tonight"

Sigrid leaned forward, a hand next to her mouth, to faux a whisper: "He may seem like an arrogant ass, but I can tell you– he is secretly a softie"

"What?" you faked a gasp, turning to look up at Thranduil who, to your surprise, blushed…blushed!

He playfully swatted your hips and shot Sigrid a warning look: "What have I ever done to you that you must embarrass me in front of the lady?" He sighed, though the corner of his mouth betrayed him, "Was it the time that I thought Legolas invited you over to…what did you call it, my love?" as if in deep thought, Thranduil lifted a hand to scratch his perfect chin, "Netflix and chill?"

"Oh my god–"

"Thranduil!" you cried, laughter bubbling up your throat before you could stop it. Out of pure condolence for the girl, you started shoving him into the entrance hall, away from the girl whose face turned beetred as she fumbled to stamp the tickets of the next couple.

"It was nice to meet you!" you huffed out, wrangling with the tall body of Thranduil who was snickering to himself, making it not easier for you to handle him.

"We should chat some other time! Legolas, some boys and I have a movie night once every while, you could join"

The invitation was clearly not enough to help the poor woman, Thranduils high-pitched laughter (so unusual for his usually deep and honeyed voice, that pure sound of his laughter) would probably haunt her for the rest of the evening given the look on her face.

However, she nodded frantically. "Sure, I will have Legolas send you my number," then she smiled, "Have fun tonight! You as well, Sir!"

"I'm sure we will," you called back and there was a phrase like "If you could behave the rest of the night" on your tongue, at the sight of the entrance hall however, it slipped away.

The hand that you had used to direct Thranduil fell and he used the opportunity where your mind stopped working, to take it back into his. If you weren't so busy staring at the interior of the Opera House you would have teased him for being so touchy tonight, yet there was nothing leaving your lips of that sort.

"Wow," you breathed out.

The red carpet you stopped on trailed further into the hall, ending shortly before a large ceremonial staircase of white marble with a balustrade of red and dark blue marble, which divided into two divergent flights of stairs leading to the second floor which overlooked the foyer through wide open curved outward balconies. Golden candleholders with what must have been hundreds of candles decorated the columns, lulling you into a trance with the flicker of their flames.

A finger trailed over your temple, sliding down behind your ear and your neck, and it came to rest with the rest of the hand on your shoulder. "For years I have gone in and out of these halls, impressed by their beauty. Now, with you standing right here, all the gold pales." Thranduil's words sent a shiver up your spine and you tilted your head to stare at the ceiling.

"There is no need for flattery," you said, wide eyes wandering over the balconies on which women leaned onto the balustrades with sparkling glasses of wine, to the grand staircase where the crowd trailed upward without a hurry, "You already have this girl speechless."

Thranduil's lips delicately brushed against the shell of your ear, as his hands leisurely traced the contours of your side.

"What a shame, though I would hope you will find your voice again," his voice bore semblance to a velvety purr, "–for I am genuinely interested in garnering your perspective on the private balcony, affording an impeccable view of the orchestra, that I had readied for us."

As your head swiftly turned to fixate on him, his rosy lips formed, in a manner not surprising anyone, that typical smirk that left you marveling at the intriguing resilience you had maintained in resisting its captivating allure. Every time you saw it, especially now with his icy blue eyes waiting, provoking a response, you were contemplating how you had never fainted at the sight of it before.

And the worst part was, that he knew what he could do to you with one single smirk, or just, and it was embarrassing to admit but you couldn't help but fall for it every time, one strategically raise of an eyebrow.

No matter how bewitching his smirk was, however, you were much more hooked by what he said.

The questions toppled over themselves in your head, a "WHAT?" knocked down a "You are kidding, right?" and then there were the big "Why?!" and "How?" that you were hung on.

Most of these questions resolved themselves; there was no need to reiterate what had already been sufficiently explained. Thranduil was undeniably wealthy, almost absurdly so in his own estimation.

This fact had been glaringly apparent from the outset when you only knew him as Legolas' father, the owner of a law firm that represented politicians and celebrities, often requiring him to work late. He indulged in whiskey from opulent bottles and drove the most extravagant car you had ever sat in. The first time you visited Legolas at their home, a gathering of Thranduil's colleagues celebrated his ascension to CEO, filling the mansion with the strains of piano music and the gentle clinking of delicate crystal glass flutes.

If it hadn't been clear, Thranduil's habit of spending a lot of money with and for you (whether it was in the form of gifts such as books, a new coffee machine for your dorm, or simply the dates he took you on) was explanation enough.

The man had been greeted by name at the entrance and like a few people, all dressed in fine clothes like him, he didn't have a ticket, he had a member card.

So you swallowed your questions, took the arm he offered you and let yourself be led through the beautiful and tall halls of the opera.

Why not savor both this gift and the delightful company of the man you've fallen for?

If it wasn't obvious that Thranduil was showing off a bit, come on, he had kissed you right in the middle of the grand staircase and grinned at every man staring at you on your way, it became more than clear when you walked down the hallway to the private rooms. Another boy in uniform opened a door as soon as he saw Thranduil walk up to him, greeting him by name just like Sigrid did.

Behind the door, you let out the quietest "Holy shit" afraid that the swear would taint whatever holy atmosphere vibrated around you.

The air was filled with the low murmur of people talking, shuffling towards their seats and you, you looked down on all of them.

Literally.

Beneath you a sea of stools stretched onward, a moving mass of hats and pinned-up hair.

You took a careful step forward, coming up to the balustrade, you laid your hands on the red velvet that cushioned the balcony.

Just like the other balconies on your left and right, beautiful wooden panels were creating an archway under which you stood, with roses and delicate swirls painted golden.

You had a clear view of the stage, up on the fourth floor as you quickly counted in your head. The stage was covered by maroon curtains that draped over each other instead of just framing the sides and ended in gold ornaments at the seams.

The dome, which you had seen from the outside, was hidden behind a slightly curved ceiling, the only telling of what rose into the sky behind it. Nevertheless, the ceiling was a view all of its own.

A piece of art.

Up there, a dark sky had been painted, sprinkled with tiny golden dots of stars and hanging perfectly centered not just to the painting but to the whole room, hung an enormous chandelier, dripping with crystals that reflected the light of the lamps, honey golden liquid broken down into a thousand shards and bathing everything in a spectacle of imitations of stars.

Thranduil stepped up behind you again. He slung his arms around you, pressing his front against your back to rest his chin on your shoulder. Silver hair fell over you as he nuzzled your temple with his nose, brushing and tickling the sensitive skin of your neckline.

Slowly he took on to unbutton your coat, his nimble fingers pushing one button after the other through the holes.

"Is this the time to tell you that I practically own this balcony?" his voice rolled over your body, words spoken close enough that you felt his lips form them.

"Yeah," you breathed out "I figured."

"And do you know what that means?" he asked while opening the last button.

You shook your head slightly so as not to knock him away.

"It means," he unfolded himself from you to pull away your coat. You turned and watched as he hung it next to his own, it looked small in his large hands. Your fingers dug deep into the velvet behind you, eyes locked with his. "It means we can come here whenever we want as well as leave whenever we want"

It wasn't what you had expected to hear, yet you let out another deep breath, basking in the residue of tension and heat that had lapped at you both and transformed into something softer, much more meaningful than desire.

"You are the most fascinating man I have ever met," you mused, tilting your head to look at him. Thranduil was dressed up in smart black (and snug) pants and his white blouse wore a stark resemblance to the one a character you had gushed over in a movie had worn.

That he had maybe chosen the article for that exact reason made your heart flutter in your chest.

He sauntered closer to you again, hands clipped together in his back and when he leaned against one of the two chairs, the only furniture except for a small table, it was nothing but graceful. He regarded you through hooded eyes, an expression in them that was so full of infatuation it should be too much for a relationship this young, this fresh but you had been ready to plunge into this deep and far ever since you had met him.

"I promise this is just to impress you," Thranduil smiled, and lifted one corner of his mouth higher than the other and it made him look almost shy.

"Mhmm," you hummed, stepping closer to him and when you reached out to cup his cheek, he leaned into it. His eyes bore into yours, the ice-cold blue melting every bone in your body into a puddle. "I think," you whispered and looked from one eye to the other, "you don't need anything to impress me except for yourself." Raising to your tiptoes, you smiled against his mouth "Thank you, Thranduil. This is the best gift anyone has ever given to me"

As you looked up at him through hooded eyes, his gaze became soft. His lips met yours in a gentle but playful kiss, one where he nipped at your lower lip and throat and did that low purr of satisfaction. It made your head swim in the best way possible, let all thoughts come to rest.

When the lights dimmed a short while later, you found yourself cuddled against Thranduil's side, his arm around as natural as everything had become between you.

The music swelled- the tunes of a piano mixing with the violins and cellos, increasing into the playful introduction that you had come to listen to whenever Thranduil drove you anywhere.

You allowed your glance to flee from the orchestra to Thranduil, watching his side profile next to you.

"I am so lucky," you whispered. It should have been spoken far too quietly to be heard in a room that was filled with a dozen instruments orchestrating the most gorgeous music.

Thranduil however, turned his head as soon as you said the words.

"You say you are the lucky one yet here I sit, unable to believe you are truly with me," he said and reached out to trace a finger over your temple down to your cheek. "There are so many things I would like to tell you, my darling"

You watched him, silently inquiring him to continue.

He sighed and the corner of his eyes crinkled in soft delight. "It's just– I feel so much more ever since you came into my life and while it's close to overwhelming– well, and I do mean that truthfully and wholeheartedly positive, it made me realize how much more enjoyable life is when I can share it with someone I l–like"

"That doesn't sound like something that's 'just' anything," your wavering voice betrayed how collected you wanted to sound. Feelings as hard as the waves during a storm crashed inside you, lapping up your throat trying to break out of where you dammed them away to.

"No," Thranduil shook his head "No, I dare say it's not just anything. It seems to be everything. You, you wonderful girl, you are everything"

Your breath hitched, caught in the mix of emotions in your throat. Fingers carefully lifted to intertwine your hands, coming together in your lap. He waited, you figured, he waited for you. He always waited for you. The music faded into the background as you reached for him.

Reaching and waiting, daring and yearning, teasing and loving.

He was the fine threat that pulled on your heart, tugging on it in the same rhythm as it beat inside your chest.

"Thranduil?" you fiddled with his fingers, tugging on them to have an outlet for everything rushing through you, leaving you restless with the want to scream your feelings into the world.

"Yes?" He sounded hoarse, unusually so, and it urged you on further.

"The moment I met you I knew you would take my heart and whisk it away." Grappling with the challenge of expressing just how much of an impact he had on you, you thought back to every big movie scene, every lovesong that you finally understood the lyrics to.

All of them felt bland in contrast to the cocktail of feelings that he evoked in you, the emotions that came from loving this man.

However, he beat you to it, articulating what had occupied your contemplation.

"I love you," Thranduil's voice resonated, gaining a steady cadence. "I love you. I realize it might be soon, and time lies ahead of us, but I wish to spend every moment with you, fully aware of the depth of my feelings."

A violin's sigh, a cello's resonance, a gasp.

"I love you too, Thranduil. So much."

Thranduil inclined his head, a golden aura enveloping his silver-blonde locks that cascaded around you like the rich, heavy red curtains.

At that moment, he resembled the Swan, exuding grace and elegance. His long, fair eyelashes cast shadows on his high cheekbones, and as he leaned in to kiss you, a profound sense of being utterly cherished and loved enveloped you, much like the crescendo of the music all around.

taglist [closed]: @mushroomemeralds, @mssuguru, @solartoge, @12134z03, @fruitymoonbeams-blog, @lady-of-imladris @finallyforgotten , @123forgottherest @tomhockstetter7-111 @marshymallo @emily-roberts @howlerwolfmax @tigereyesf @seththetinydemon

#📁files: passenger princess #thranduil x reader #thranduil fanfiction #thranduil x you #thranduil oropherion #thranduil fluff #lotr x you #lord of the rings fanfiction #lord of the rings x you #lord of the rings x reader #the hobbit fanfiction #lotr x reader #the hobbit x reader

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spinningalbinoturtle · 7 months

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Lotr characters and their dogs (and other pets)

Frodo

Canonically not a dog person but also just has cat person vibes

He has two cats one of them is a chubby gray kitty named Luthien and she is incredibly spoiled. A birthday present from Bilbo

His other cat is a stray who hates everyone but Frodo- its super scrangly and Sam calls it Gollum and it stuck

After the Quest Frodo gets a little beagle service dog that helps him with PTSD and other medical stuff

Sam

Pre Quest had an old basset hound named Fingon. His dad said they didn’t have room for it but Sam insisted on feeding it and when he moved in with Frodo it came along.

Post quest he has a border collie named Ellie (short for Galadriel) who helps him replant the shire

He also keeps chickens at Bag End and spoils them a bit. They are just for eggs

Also has a little dairy cow for fresh milk. Her name is Bell after his mom

Merry

The Brandybucks have a pack of mastiffs and they love Merry. Frodo is terrified of them

They also have several feral maine coones that lounge around their manor and also love Merry but hate everyone else

Has a full size horse post quest which he is very proud of and scares the other hobbits. Its name is Theoden

Pippin

Lets be honest with ourselves Pippin has a lab who has the exact same personality as him and they go everywhere together. Its name is something really basic like Buddy

He also keeps turtles and has a whole menagerie for them. They’re all named after different foods

Aragorn

Aragorn has a husky/malamute that he found on his travels north. He howls back and forth with it and is convinced he can understand it. When he becomes king it sits at the foot of his throne and occasionally will randomly howl in the middle of a meeting.

Horse girl all the way. Brego is his bestie. Man takes excellent care of his horse and buys all kinds of extraneous shit for it.

Boromir

Denethor has a pack of vicious looking dogs but Boromir has a Dalmatian that loves him so much

Faramir adopts it for a while after Boromir dies but Faramir is much more of a cat person, so ultimately its adopted by Aragorn and becomes mates with his husky. The puppies go to his and Arwens kids

Legolas

This could go one of two ways-either he has a super graceful hunting dog like a greyhound or whippet or he has a little pomeranian he dresses up and treats like a baby

He has tried to domesticate the spiders with little success maybe because he’s also killed a lot of them

Gimli

Gimli is a terrier person. He has a little Scottish terrier who sits on his lap all the time when he’s working. Gimli made it a little sweater and it hates Legolas (its jealous of Legolas stealing Gimli’s attention).

He also keeps canaries and they are very well cared for and all have names and he’s the only one who can tell them apart

Eowyn

Has a massive Rottweiler who is super intimidating to everyone except Eowyn. It has bitten Grima multiple times. Around Eowyn it acts like a little puppy.

She also loves her horse as all Rohirrim do.

I could also see her as raising ferrets or chinchilas as well

Faramir

Firmly a cat person

Doesn’t mind dogs but vastly prefers cats

Has six of them and they’re all rescues. Their names are : Mithrandir, Radagast, Varda, Melian, Beren, and Pippin.

Eowyn indulges her crazy cat husband even when their house is overrun with kittens

Arwen

Also firmly a cat person

She’s fine Aragorn’s dog but that’s just cause its well trained

Usually just has one or two cats at a time. They’re a special breed from Lothlorien and they’re really beautiful. They like to sit on her lap and purr. They’re also vicious mousers.

Eomer

Has a big great dane who hangs out in Edoras. Its super sweet and dorky. Everyone loves it.

#lotr #frodo baggins #eowyn #aragorn #sam gamgee #merry brandybuck #boromir #legolas #pippin took #samfro #arwen undomiel #gimli #faramir

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undreaming-fanfiction · 2 months

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(likely a modern AU so the timeline fits)

Eddie feels so very, very torn about the Hobbit movies. He loves the music and hums "the Misty Mountains Cold" before he can catch himself, but he not very silently screams about all the crap that was added for no reason and, the bad CGI? A travesty, your honor! He glares at the screen when Legolas appears and utters "where the fuck did you come from?", he loves the casting choice for Bilbo but absolutely roasts the idiotic way that the screenwriters butchered Bilbo's relationship with the dwarves and the way it evolved.

But the thing he never forgives those movies for is that unbelievably idiotic love triangle and the way it made others tear up when Eddie's soul temporarily left his body to punch Peter Jackson. Because it DOES. NOT. MAKE. SENSE. There was no development. The flirting was bad, trust him, he knows what good flirting looks like and this ain't it. Eddie hates it with passion, especially the scene that overshadows the incredibly powerful one with Thorin's death. He is PISSED. The scene is so so SO lazy and Thrandúil did not deserve this disrespect. Shit, even the weird added ginger elf Tauriel did not deserve it. Yes, we're talking this scene:

Eddie mocks the shit out of this. He gobbles up all the memes and there is a 50/50 chance in the months after he saw the fateful scene that his contempt for it would bubble up.

"Hey Eddie," asks Steve whe he sees Eddie between moving boxes when they finally find an apartment together . "Why aren't you packing?"

And Eddie, instead of saying "I'm taking a break," clutches his chest and chokes out, "because it was real, Steve!"

When Eddie goes to buy groceries and Steve unpacks them, he notices that Eddie bought two bags of potatoes instead of one. "Why did you get two?" he asks.

Eddie rummages through his pockets and produces the receipt. "Because the discount was real!" he says with a mock sob and points at the potatoes being 30% off.

And Steve is a patient man, he really is, but when Eddie tells him that the claws were real as a response to his question why is Eddie all scratched from their cat and refuses to elaborate, he threatens that if it doesn't stop being real, he's going to get a set of the Hobbit movie posters for his side of the bedroom and proudly display them.

Eddie bitches, moans, threatens, but eventually he moves past the idiotic love triangle.

When they lie together, falling asleep, Eddie mutters into Steve's neck "I can't believe that stupid threat worked on me. Why would you even thing about something like that?"

Steve turns to him with a deadpan expression and says:

"Because it was real."

#steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie #steddie drabble #stranger things drabble #steddie watches hobbit #one half of steddie hates certain parts of hobbit

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septembercfawkes · 8 months

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What is the Inciting Incident? Definition, Purpose, Examples, Tips

The inciting incident is an event that disrupts the established normal and kicks off the main storyline. It will usually appear as an opportunity or a problem (or both) for the protagonist. And even if the protagonist initially refuses it, he must eventually address it.

For example, the inciting incident in The Hobbit is when Gandalf arrives and invites Bilbo on an adventure. It disrupts Bilbo's ordinary life, and while it is presented as an opportunity, Bilbo views that opportunity as a problem (respectable Hobbits don't go on adventures). He refuses the invitation initially, but later accepts it. If it weren't for Gandalf's invitation, the plot in The Hobbit wouldn't have happened.

The purpose of the inciting incident is to start the main plotline.

The inciting incident is known by a few other names: the "Catalyst" (Save the Cat!), the "Call to Adventure" (The Hero's Journey), and I've also heard it called the "impetus."

Unfortunately--as is somewhat common in the writing community--the term can actually be a little ambiguous, making it difficult to learn about, let alone discern. Not only are there multiple terms for the same event, but there are also disagreements in the community about which event constitutes the "inciting incident."

So, if you have been confused about this term, I'm not surprised. To minimize confusion, I'll explain the different ways people view the inciting incident, later. For now, the above definition is currently what is generally considered the inciting incident.

Let's break down the inciting incident some more, moving from a basic understanding to an intermediate understanding to an advanced one. I'll go through more examples and even some rule breaks.

Inciting Incident Basics

The above definition works well for a basic understanding of the inciting incident. When looking at a story (your own or another's), ask yourself: What kicks off the main plot? What initial event allows that plot to start happening?

Commonly, the protagonist will be going about her ordinary life, and something comes along to disrupt it in a way that can't be ignored. Sure, the protagonist may try to ignore it or outright refuse it (like Bilbo), for a while, but for one reason or another, her life can't go back to normal. Either externally something is off, or internally something is off.

In The Hunger Games, we are introduced to Katniss and her current lifestyle as she wakes up, goes hunting, and interacts with others in District 12. The reaping happens every year. But her current lifestyle is disrupted when Effie pulls Prim's name out of the bowl. For Katniss, this is a major problem. If this hadn't happened, she would have never volunteered. Prim's name getting called sets the main plot in motion.

Intermediate Level

The inciting incident is a medium-sized turning point (also known as a plot turn). It turns the direction of the story.

Specifically, it turns the story into rising action.

Occasionally, you may see this turn depicted in basic story structure:

This moment is an external turn, meaning, it comes from outside the protagonist--the protagonist is not creating the turn himself.

Gandalf invites Bilbo.

Effie pulls out Prim's name.

In Star Wars IV, Leia's message reveals she needs help.

Occasionally the protagonist may walk unknowingly into the inciting incident. In A Nightmare Before Christmas, Jack Skellington quite literally walks into Christmas Town, but he doesn't know where he is or what he is doing. The experience of Christmas Town happens to him. He isn't going into the town to make things happen.

So the inciting incident is one instance in the story where the protagonist will be acted upon in an important way.

And since this is a turn that disrupts the protagonist's life, it needs to come into contact with the protagonist.

In Mulan, the Huns deciding to invade China isn't the inciting incident, because it doesn't disrupt Mulan's life. Instead, the inciting incident comes when her own father is called to war, which disrupts her current life in a significant way.

Likewise, Princess Leia recording her message isn't the inciting incident. Luke's ordinary life isn't disrupted until he finds the message.

The protagonist is present for the inciting incident.

Advanced

There are several other moments that often (or may) happen around the inciting incident. This is why there are some arguments and confusion as to what the inciting incident actually is.

First off, a prior event may lead to or prep the inciting incident.

Willy Wonka putting the golden tickets in the chocolate bars can appear to be the inciting incident, but notice it doesn't involve Charlie. It's simply set up for the inciting incident to happen.

After the inciting incident, the character will respond to whatever happened. Often he will try to ignore it, deny it, or outright refuse it. In the Hero's Journey, this is known as the "Refusal of the Call." In Save the Cat! this is known as "Debate."

We talked about an example of this earlier, which is when Bilbo refuses Gandalf's invitation. Another example would be Sulley trying to get rid of Boo right after she appears in Monster's Inc.

While this is a common beat, not all protagonists actually have it. If the protagonist doesn't Refuse the Call, often another character will voice the Refusal, or at least hesitation, instead.

But ultimately, the inciting incident will need to be addressed in the proper way (i.e. in the way that allows the main plot to happen). This will appear as the character choosing to engage in the main conflict, which will often be demonstrated by a strong action, such as Bilbo running out his door to catch up with the dwarves, or Harry Potter leaving with Hagrid.

Frequently, this will hit at the end of Act I, and be Act I's major turning point. The Hero's Journey calls this "Crossing the Threshold" and Save the Cat! calls this "Break into Two." Commonly it is also known as Plot Point 1.

In any case, this is where some of the ambiguity in the writing community comes in. Some will argue that the inciting incident is the preparatory event, like when Willy Wonka puts the golden tickets in the chocolate bars. Some will say it's the disrupting incident, like when Prim's name gets called. Some will say it's when the character engages in the main conflict, like when Bilbo runs out his door to join the dwarves. And some will even lump part or all of these events together.

It's no surprise that things can get confusing.

This is why it can be helpful to consider Act I's structure . . .

Structuring Act I

Because of the ambiguity in the writing community, sometimes it's helpful to look at the structure of Act I to gain some clarity.

In most stories, Act I will take up the first quarter (~25%) of the narrative (but there are exceptions and variations.)

Ideally, it will open with a hook.

Often there is some sort of "shake-up" halfway through (~12% into the story).

And there will be a big turning point, a peak, at the end of Act I (~25% in).

Example:

Harry Potter starts with a hook--unusual things are happening all day and culminate in a baby who defeated a dark wizard being left on a doorstep. Halfway through Act I there is a shake-up--a letter arrives addressed to Harry. Near the end, there is a big turn--Hagrid tells Harry he is a wizard, which leads Harry to choose to go with him.

Some feel that the letter's arrival is the inciting incident. Some feel it's Hagrid's announcement. (I originally leaned toward it being Hagrid, and now feel like it's the letter.) But at the end of the day, what's most important is understanding how the pieces work. We have the hook, the shake-up, and the peak.

The letter also gets the story on track to hit Hagrid's announcement, which is a nice touch.

Placement of the Inciting Incident

With an understanding of how Act I is commonly structured, we can more easily discuss where to place the inciting incident.

Perhaps most commonly, the inciting incident is placed at the shake-up--about halfway through Act I, which is what (arguably) happens in Harry Potter.

This is a nice place to put it, because the audience has time to get to know the characters and the world and their trajectory, before something comes along to throw everything off balance.

But the inciting incident can also double as the hook. This is what happens in The Hunger Games. Prim's name gets called as early as chapter one.

It can also happen just before (or some may argue, part of) the big turning point, which is what happens in Frozen. Elsa's powers go out of control when with Anna, and right after Elsa freezes the kingdom and runs away.

And even with all of that said, these placements are just guidelines. Place it where it works best for your story.

Get your hook, your shake-up, and your peak--and make sure the inciting incident that kicks off the main plotline is in Act I, and you should be good.

Multiple Inciting Incidents

A couple of times I've been asked what to do if a story seems to have multiple inciting incidents. Thankfully, this is usually more of an asset than a problem.

First, you may want to check that this isn't a matter of "writing community ambiguity." It may be that these are simply different beats: a moment that preps, the disruption itself, the character's reaction to the disruption, and the character's choice to engage in the main conflict (which leads him or her into the main "journey" of the plot).

If all the events are clearly linked, it's likely they are simply key beats of Act I for the main plotline.

If the events aren't linked on one trajectory, it's likely you have inciting incidents for different plotlines.

When people talk about inciting incidents, they are usually talking about them in regard to the main plotline.

But secondary plotlines can have their own inciting incidents.

For example, if the inciting incident doesn't hit at the shake-up, it's common for an inciting incident of another plotline to hit there, such as the inciting incident of the relationship plotline (which is often the "meet cute.")

This is what happens in Frozen with Anna and Hans--they have an inciting incident for a relationship. But the main plot doesn't kick off until Elsa loses control of her magic at the coronation, which happens near the end of Act I.

Depending on how your plotlines run through your story, you may have multiple inciting incidents--one for each plotline.

Alternatively, it's also possible to have the same event work as an inciting incident for multiple plotlines, which is arguably what happens in The Prestige. The protagonist's wife drowning kicks off the internal, the external, and the relationship plotlines simultaneously.

In any case, suffice it to say that seeming to have multiple inciting incidents isn't usually something to worry about.

What is a worry is if there is no inciting incident or rather, the inciting incident comes at the wrong time, hurting the pacing of the story.

Rule Breaks

So far we have mainly gone over what is typical of inciting incidents. Let's go over some variations or rule breaks.

The inciting incident almost always, always happens on page or on screen. It should, because it's such a critical moment in the plot. However, it's not impossible for it to happen off page or off screen.

For example, by general definition, in Knives Out, the inciting incident is when the anonymous letter arrives for Detective Blanc, but notice that happens off screen.

In fact, it practically happened before the story started. If we view Harlan's death as a prologue (acting as a hook), the real story doesn't start until the investigation and questioning are already underway--after the inciting incident happened.

Some argue that the inciting incident can happen before the story officially starts, but it's an unusual situation.

What's interesting in the case of Knives Out is that the audience learns about the inciting incident ~12% in. So even though it technically already happened, it's still placed where the inciting incident often goes, at the shake-up. And it does shake things up, for the audience. Who hired Detective Blanc? We don't know.

Such things are more likely to happen in stories that are structured achronologically (which I plan to talk about in a post someday). Nearly all of Act I of Knives Out is achronological.

Tips to Keep in Mind

Here are some tips to keep in mind when writing the inciting incident:

Establish what the protagonist's current ("normal") life is like before the inciting incident. The inciting incident is a medium-sized turning point, so think about what you need to convey to the audience to make this particular turn powerful. In order to make Prim's name being called shocking, Collins needed to first establish how unlikely it was for her to be picked and how Katniss was essentially her foster mother.

Usually it's effective to start the character in the opposite state of where he will be by the end of Act I, with the inciting incident acting as the initial disruptor (of course). Jack Skellington should first be bored of Halloween before he discovers Christmas. The turn wouldn't be as powerful if he was satisfied with his role. (It would have been okay. But it would have been weaker.)

Start the story with the protagonist already on a specific trajectory. Convey what direction the character's life is meant to go if it continues its current path. Then, when the inciting incident disrupts it and sends it on a new trajectory, it will be more impactful.

If the inciting incident is viewed as a problem, it's often great to first pull the protagonist high--on an upward trajectory. In Legally Blonde, Elle thinks Warner is going to propose to her, so the inciting incident, the problem, of getting dumped hits harder.

Likewise, if the inciting incident is viewed as an opportunity, it's often great to first pull the protagonist low--on a downward trajectory.

Because the inciting incident is a disruptor, almost always it should be something the protagonist didn't foresee. She may think she knows what's going to happen (like Elle), but it ends up being different.

Since this is a critical turn in the story, make sure it happens on page (unless you have a good reason for a rule break). It should almost always be dramatized, in a scene, not summary. You may want to bump up the prose for it.

Get your protagonist's reaction to it on page, too. His reaction is a great opportunity to convey his character--whether it's brief or it takes several chapters.

The protagonist almost always voices hesitation in his reaction. If he doesn't, then usually another character will instead. The purpose of this beat is to emphasize the stakes, the seriousness of this new trajectory.

Now, with all that said, there is always room for variation, so choose what works best for your story.

The inciting incident is usually one of the first scenes that comes to mind when brainstorming a book, so have fun with it!

The Hero's Journey Explained: The Beginning

The Steadfast, Flat-arc Protagonist in Story: The Beginning

Save the Cat! Explained: The Beginning

Story Structure Explained: Prologues, Hooks, Setups, Inciting Incidents

Structuring Your Relationship Plotline: Key Beats

#writing tips #writeblr #writing tips and tricks #writing reference #writing tip #writing help #writer #writing #writing advice

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abitofboth · 2 months

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owen carvour hcs because he’s in my brain always

he's very reservedly sentimental. the things in his life that mean a lot to him will always have a special place in his heart, but he'd never tell anyone that. his favourite childhood book, a lighter curt gifted him, old letters and photographs etc.

his favourite childhood book is the hobbit. when he was a kid he'd draw in the margins and go through and underline his favourite parts. his childhood pet was a fluffy cat called bilbo!!

left handed. constantly curses out his pens when he's writing and gets ink smudges all over his hand.

an only child, and was never really that close with his parents. his relationship with them grew strained once they found out he was gay.

would happily never interact with a dog for the rest of his life if he could help it. (too slobbery, loud, and boisterous for his liking.)

biiiiig smoker. his hands get twitchy if he hasn't had a cig in a while. he constantly spews some bs about the refined taste of tobacco.

similarly he's a big time wine snob. he gets offended if you suggest it tastes like vinegar and he'll try with all his might to convince you that the aromatics matter.

definitely has a sprinkling of road rage in him. in his opinion he is always in the right, and everyone else on the road needs their license taken from them.

teeny tiny tattoo on his hip of two intertwined mars symbols (♂)

'love' is a name he uses for pretty much everyone on accounts of him being british, but he's much more fond of using 'darling' and 'sweetheart' as pet names when it's just him and curt.

he LOVES the quiet moments between him and curt when they get to spend the night together. watching over him as he falls asleep and running his fingers through his hair are some of his favourite things to do.

he can be surprisingly bashful! talk sweet to him and he’ll blush like hell. pepper kisses over him and he’ll be squirming and giggling like there’s no tomorrow.

he's welsh but moved to london when he was a teenager. he taught himself to speak in an rp accent so he wouldn't be looked down on, and it just kind of stuck. not many people know that he's welsh, not necessarily because he doesn't tell anyone but no one’s ever asked because as far as everyone else is aware, he’s as english as you can get. when he's tired he can slip back into his old accent, and he uses the odd welsh word every now and then around people close to him (mostly curt.)

the first house he lived in in london got destroyed during the blitz, and luckily most of what few possessions he owned survived. he doesn't like to talk about his time during the war often.

after the fall, he gets tinnitus and his hearing is far from as good as it used to be. he lost his right eye, and the glass eye chimera got him has never quite been a perfect colour match. he has trouble with his knee, and has a decent amount of scarring over his body.

post fall there's a part of him that still loves curt, and desperately misses what used to be. it's mostly overpowered by the hatred within him, but the love rears its head out every now and again and catches him off guard.

he likes to cook, but he's kinda shit at it. he doesn't get much practice on accounts of being a spy, so whenever he does cook, something inevitably goes wrong.

once, he'd moved into a new flat and had curt round as his first guest and tried to cook him dinner. it ended up burning and there were full on flames in the frying pan. (curt still takes the piss out of him for this years later.)

he's a bit of a loner, but enjoys his own company for the most part. outside of curt he doesn't really have any close friends, and he isn't in contact with his family.

he has an angry streak in him. he’s easily riled up and the first emotion he goes to is barely concealed rage. he yells more often than he’d like to.

he hates using the term 'boyfriend' to describe curt. he thinks it makes him sound juvenile and he prefers 'partner' way more. plus, he can get away with introducing curt without giving away the fact that they’re together. (he also loves calling curt his 'best friend' in the most romantic sense possible.)

this! bitch! loves! musicals! the wizard of oz is a favourite of his, and he has a soft spot for disney’s cinderella. he has an extra fondness for the term ‘friend of dorothy’ because of this too.

tea over coffee always. two sugars and a splash of milk, not too weak but not too strong.

#GOD I love him!! 😭#this is all like. gospel in my mind when it comes to owen #that’s what I get for having owen brain worms for literal years #spies are forever #saf #tin can bros #tcb #owen carvour #agent curt mega #joey richter #curt mega #curtwen #hc #hcs #millie talks

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 11 months

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Sunmary: In which Eddie has all sorts of crises because he witnessed that dorky handshake between Dustin and Steve. Warning, It's kind of long.

Eddie definitely conformed to the idea that all jocks are the same, and when he looked at Steve Harrington, he wanted to believe that it's true. He wants to believe so badly that he doesn't have a heart underneath all that hair because otherwise, it meant that Eddie has been treating them the same way they've been treating him and his friends. . .like they're something to be looked down upon just because their interests don't align. He also wanted so badly to believe that with that big house and all that money that people like Steve had it easy. . .that life wasn't all just one giant middle finger for everyone.

He was wandering around the mall to get away from the heat when he spotted Steve Harrington and a kid with curly hair in a hat. The uniform for Scoops Ahoy was completely ridiculous, but somehow, Steve Harrington made it work. He watched as he did this completely ridiculous handshake with the kid. It was also ridiculously adorable, especially with the way that Steve did this open-mouthed grin. Huh, there was more to Steve Harrington than meets the eyes. Eddie quickly shook his head. Nope, nope! He definitely liked girls. Definitely.

When he came back later, they were definitely doing something fishy. This time, they were with the other girl that worked there, and they were. . .plying an even younger girl with ice cream. Okay. That was fucking weird. He couldn't help but watch them for a while, and eventually, when the parlor was empty, they went into the back. It wouldn't hurt to take a peak at what they were doing, right? He went into the parlor and headed towards the back.

"Great, now I'm stalking him. What the fuck am I doing?" Eddie muttered.

He slid open the partition, and his eyes widened when he saw her going through a vent. Okay, what the fuck? Should he call the police? No, because then he would get arrested for stalking. Eddie heard her mention something about "operation child endangerment" and he cursed under his breath. Yeah, he should definitely do something, right? Somehow, he ended up following them all out back to a door that apparently the younger girl had opened for them. Eddie learned the other one in the sailor uniform was named Robin, the boy in the hat was named Dustin, and the younger girl was named Erica. Eddie wasn't sure how he managed to do it, but he slipped into the room without them noticing and hid in the corner behind the boxes. How he didn't make a sound, he wasn't sure. All of a sudden, the room plummeted. It wasn't a storage closet. It was a fucking elevator.

"We're going down! We're going down!" Steve screamed.

"Yeah, no shit, Harrington!" Robin screamed.

Steve got to the panel on the wall and started pressing buttons.

"Why don't these buttons work?!" Steve exclaimed.

"Press the button!" Erica exclaimed.

"What do you think I'm doing?!" Steve screamed at her.

Eddie drowned out the screaming as he tried to focus on not throwing up and giving away his position. When it came to a stop, the boxes fell over and covered him. At least they hadn't fallen onto his groin. Poor Steve. Eddie winced and tried not to make a sound. Why not make a sound? Why not tell them he was here? He still wasn't sure why he was here or why in the fuck he had to follow them? He cursed his curious nature and his stupid thirst for adventure. It was his mom's fault, really, for reading him the Hobbit as a bedtime story. He remembered after he first came to live with Wayne, how he wanted to explore the neighborhood. It was like a whole new world to him, and it had been full of cats. He remembered the brown one with the prettiest green eyes, practically pleading with him to follow, and Eddie did. The next thing Eddie knew he had been lost. Wayne had been pissed, worried as hell that something had happened to him. It had been the first time in a long time that someone had cared about him like that, not since his mama died. Eddie cursed silently at himself for following yet another pretty cat. Steve Harrington? Pretty? Yeah, like in the way he found guys pretty, not like the way he found girls pretty. Particularly cheerleaders. Hmm, Steve Harrington, in a cheerleader uniform. Nope, nope! Focus, Munson! What the fuck was that anyway?

"Just so you nerds are aware," Erica said once they established that they needed a key card to work the elevator. "I'm supposed to be spending the night at Tina's, and Tina always covers for me, but if I'm not home for Uncle Jack's party tomorrow and my mom finds out you three are responsible, she's gonna hunt you down, one by one, and slit your throats."

"I don't care about Tina!" Steve shrieked. "Or Uncle's Jack party! Your mom's not going to be able to find us if we're dead in a Russian elevator!"

Eddie couldn't help himself. He started laughing, and everyone got quiet.

"What the shit?!" Dustin exclaimed.

Suddenly, the boxes were being pulled off of him, and Steve's face appeared.

"Munson?"

"Harrington."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Steve asked.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Eddie asked. "I mean, what the fuck was your plan when you guys met the Russsians who have apparently invaded Hawkins?! Jesus H Christ!"

Eddie jumped up and began pacing as much as he could in this enclosed space.

"Who is this, Steve?" Dustin asked.

"How did you even get in here?" Steve asked.

"I tuck and rolled inside like a ninja," Eddie said, grinning proudly, and Steve giggled, covering it up as a cough. "After I followed you here when I saw you acting squirrelly, more specifically when I saw you guys pushing a little girl into a vent. I would have called the cops but I'm alas, I am a drug dealer. . .so I doubt they would believe me. I thought I would do a little investigating of my own, Eddie the Banished venturing into the unknown."

"You sound like you play D&D," Dustin said, narrowing his eyes at him. "Steve, again, who is this guy?"

"Dustin Henderson meet Eddie Munson," Steve said with a sigh. "He created a D&D club at the high school."

"There's a D&D club at the high school?! Steve, why am I just hearing about this?" Dustin asked.

"I wasn't sure if it would still be there once he, you know, graduated," Steve said.

"Well, I would have passed it onto Gareth or Jeff, but I guess that doesn't really matter since I'm back for another year," Eddie said.

"Wait. So that means that I'll be joining next year!" Dustin exclaimed. "That is if you'll let me!"

"That is if we live," Erica scoffed. "Nerds."

"Can we do this later?" Robin asked. "When we're not, you know, trapped in a Russsian elevator!"

"Yeah, yeah," Steve said, rolling eyes.

They ended up spending the night in the elevator. The kids fell asleep, but Robin, Eddie, and Steve stayed up, talking about what they were going to do. At one point, Robin nodded off, leaving Eddie and Steve alone. Eddie talked about his uncle, how he had come in here to look for a present for his birthday. Steve bitterly mentioned his parents and how they probably wouldn't notice that he was missing. Eddie realized then that money really can't buy everything.

"You know I would haven't followed you in here if I hadn't seen you do that dorky ass adorable handshake with Dustin," Eddie said.

"I'm adorable?" Steve asked with a smirk.

"No, no! I said the handshake was adorable," Eddie corrected. "You are a total dork, Steve Harrington."

"I am not!" Steve laughed.

"It's okay. I like dorks," Eddie said, and Steve smiled sweetly, ducking his head.

Once they got out of the elevator, thanks to Steve’s quick thinking, they began their journey down a long corridor. Steve and Dustin clearly knew something that they didn't. Honestly, it made Eddie feel a little left out.

"Hey, Robin, do you remember when we saw that super awesome thing that we can't talk about?" Eddie asked her.

"Oh, yeah, totally. Man, I wish we could talk about it," Robin said. "But alas, we cannot."

"Yeah, you guys are hilarious. You two should do stand-up!" Steve said sarcastically.

"How about it, Robin?" Eddie asked. "Wanna get out of here and get a jump start on our careers?"

"Oh, yeah, absolutely, Munson," Robin replied.

Steve flipped them off, and Eddie clutched his chest, feigning shock. They all laughed, except Erica.

"Don't you think that we should, I don't know, be quiet while we're sneaking through a secret Russian underground base?"

They continued to wonder down the hallway until they reached a communications room. Unfortunately, it was occupied. The Russian stood up, alarmed. Robin tried to confuse him with Russian, but it hadn't worked. Steve suddenly hollered and tackled him. Eddie clutched Dustin, holding him back as he could only watch. He suddenly realized that he should probably help when Steve picked up something and knocked out the Russian. Steve gasped, running his fingers through his hair and gazed at Eddie.

"I like girls, I like girls, I like girls," Eddie whispered.

"What was that?" Robin asked.

"I said I like pearls," Eddie said quickly.

"Right."

Of course, that's when things went to shit and shortly after, they got caught by the Russians. Eddie almost escaped with the kids through the ducts after Steve pleaded with him to look after the kids, but then someone grabbed him by the foot and pulled him out. He motioned for the kids to keep going, and then he was taken. Fuck. Goddamnit. Shit. Is this how he was going to die?

"Your curiosity is going to get you killed one day, boy," Wayne had told him after he found him in the woods.

Eddie cursed Wayne for being right and then cursed himself because he was probably never going to see him again. He was going to die down here, and Wayne will probably never know. Eddie started bucking and wiggling around in the soldier's grasp. He screamed. He didn't see where they had taken Robin and Steve. Where were they? What were they doing to them? The two soldiers dragged him into the room and threw him onto the floor. They stood over him talking to him in Russian, but he didn't understand. He kept shaking his head at them, screaming at them. Another soldier came in, muttered to one of the guards, and suddenly, he started speaking English to the other soldier.

"The boy in the sailor uniform, he was very loud, screamed at us. He clearly wanted to go first," the Russian said. "He is being beaten as we speak."

They wanted him to know. Fuckers. Steve. . .Steve was loud, and he made as much noise as possible. He did that so they wouldn't pay attention to Robin. Fuck. Eddie blinked back tears. He had to do something. He remembered when he did that play once for Drama and how he over did it with the dramatics when his character had died.

"You look like you're seizing, Munson," the teacher had told him with a sigh.

Eddie made sure to do it exactly what he did then, and soon, he was shaking his entire body, locking it up. He tried to bring up as much spit as possible, just to give it a little flare. The Russians started cursing, and they moved closer. He stilled his body and looked off into the distance, then held his breath. His mama always called him her little fish, the way he flopped around in the water and how he could hold his breath for a really long time. Her little guppy, her little fish, but most importantly, her sweet little boy. Would he see her again? Maybe it would all be worth it if he saw her again.

"He's dead!" One soldier claimed and began muttering in Russian.

"He will not be pleased," the other said. "Check the pulse!"

When they came closer to him, he grabbed their guns as he jumped up suddenly, and he wacked them upside the head with them. They collapsed at his feet. The soldier scrambled for his gun, but luck was on Eddie's side because the soldier's gun was stuck. Eddie hollered, rushed towards him, and knocked him out with the butt of the guns.

"That's how you're supposed to use them, right?" Eddie asked no one.

Eddie left the room to try to find Steve and Robin, only to find a better weapon than the guns he was carrying. Giant glowing sticks that could probably take down a dinosaur. God. He would love to have a dinosaur. Right, focus. He burst into a room, flickering the stick to life and jabbing a scientist looking dude in the chest. Robin and Steve were strapped to a couple of chairs, giggling. Steve looked all bloody and he winced.

"Eddie! Oh, man, I was wishing that you were here!" Steve exclaimed, grinning.

"Oh, damn, did they drug you?" Eddie asked.

Suddenly, Dustin came bursting in weilding the same weapon he had. He looked disappointed that he didn't get to use it.

"Oh, hey, you found them too," Dustin said. "We should duel with them later. Reenact a scene from Star Wars."

"Yes!"

"Something inside me tells me that I should probably say no," Steve said and then smiled at Eddie. "Eddie, what are you doing here?!"

"I'm here to rescue a damsel in distress!" Eddie said with a grin.

"I am no damsel, Munson, but I am in distress!" Robin said with a giggle.

"I was talking about Steve," Eddie laughed.

"You're the damsel, Munson. A very pretty damsel," Steve said.

"Let's go!" Erica snapped as she untied them.

They climbed into a weirdly built vehicle with a cage in the back. He was already in the cage when Eddie realized he was letting children drive, but it was too late to change anything now. Steve’s head fell into his lap.

"However, will I thank you for rescuing me, Munson?" Steve asked, fluttering his eyelashes at him.

"Uh, Steve! You realize that you're flirting with a guy, right?!" Dustin asked.

"God! I like both, okay? Jeeze, dad, stop trying to burn my magazines again. It's called being a bicycle!" Steve exclaimed.

"You mean bisexual?" Eddie said.

"That's what I said," Steve said, giving him a goofy smile.

A warm feeling filled his chest, and he suddenly wondered why he had never thought about it before. He knew about it. He knew Bowie was a bisexual but how come he never thought that he could be like that? How did Eddie not realize that all the times that he looked at a girl the way he did, he also looked at a guy like that. The denial had been stuck in him deep. Oh, fuck, this was the wrong time to realize that he wasn't straight. Oh, shit, he had a crush on Steve Harrington. Goddamnit. Steve reached up and booped him on the nose.

After they ran from the Russians, they hid in the theater. Eddie managed to pull Steve away from digging into the trash like a raccoon and pushed him into a seat. He collapsed into the seat next to Steve while Robin sat on his other side. Ugh, great, Back to the Future. Eddie just watched this with Wayne. Great film, but he just watched it. All of a sudden, Steve pressed his cheek into Eddie's shoulder, gazing at him with a goofy smile.

"Is this a date?" Steve whispered.

"No, I'd prefer my dates to be sober," Eddie said.

"Oh, so you don't wanna date me?" Steve pouted.

"I didn't say that," Eddie said quickly.

"You want to date me?"

"I want you to be sober when we have this conversation," Eddie replied.

Steve giggled, sliding his hand down Eddie's arm and into his hand. He laced their fingers together.

"They fit!"

It was after Dustin left that Robin and Steve decided to leave. Eddie cursed and followed after them. Once again, he had to stop Steve from eating popcorn out of the trashcan. He finally caught up with them, drinking out of the water fountain and debating on whether Michael J Fox was trying to bang his mom. This whole conversation made him laugh until the thought popped into his head that they had both been drugged against their will. The thought of selling drugs again after this made Eddie's stomach churn. Maybe he should get a real job. And just like that, Steve and Robin were gone again. Eddie cursed and chased after them. He turned every which way, trying to find them.

"Goddamnit!" Eddie exclaimed, running his fingers in his hair and gripping his tightly.

He let go of his hair, took deep breaths, and thought about where one might go if they were high. Bathroom, they would probably go to the bathroom if they needed to throw whatever they took up. Eddie rushed to the bathroom, opening the door when he heard Robin coming out to Steve, and he winced. He really had bad timing. He tried to back track slowly but paused when he heard his name.

"I definitely think that I have a crush on Eddie," Steve said.

"Yeah. No shit," Robin said.

"I don't know. I think he might like me back, but you know, I've been wrong about this kind of thing before," Steve said.

Eddie was leaning hopefully against the door when he lost his balance and fell into the bathroom. He cursed loudly, and suddenly, they were both standing over him.

"Hey," Eddie said casually as he continued laying on the floor. "How are you? I can see that you're sober now, so that's good. Good, good."

"How much of that did you hear?" Steve asked.

"Nothing. I heard nothing," Eddie said quickly.

"So, you heard everything?"

"Yeah. . .but I won't tell anyone, Robin, I swear, and I'm okay with it. I mean, you're definitely not wrong. Not wrong about me at all, but everything is happening so fast. One minute, I'm in complete denial and then BAM! I also like guys, and I knew about Bowie, so why didn't I think it also applied to me, you know?" Eddie rambled on as he stared at Steve's legs. "It's just so fast."

"You just realized you're bisexual?" Steve asked softly and Eddie nodded.

Steve pulled him into a hug. There were no expectations from that hug. . .just acceptance. Eddie realized he was crying when he felt Robin join in on the hug.

"I mean, on top of that, the Russians want to kill us!" Eddie sobbed. "What the fuck?"

The door burst open, and Eddie heard the sound of Dustin's voice.

"Uh, what's going on?" He asked.

"It's his first time dealing with all of this," Steve said, as he patted Eddie's back.

"You guys been through this before?!" Eddie asked.

"Uh, right. Oh, by the way, it's totally cool that you're bisexual Steve," Dustin said. "You're still my brother."

"Oh my God! He's such an awesome little dude," Eddie said, sniffling.

"Are we sure that he wasn't drugged too?" Dustin asked.

After they left the bathroom, they were once again chased by the Russians. They dove over the counter in the food court, Eddie practically collapsing against Steve. Eddie took his hand, gripping it tight. He couldn't help it. He had to peak. Eddie looked over and watched as a fucking car rolled over the Russians like they were bowling pins. It rolled over them like an invisible force had pushed it. Eddie looked up at the second floor. A group of kids, Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers, stood there. A girl at the front stared down at them. Her nose was bleeding. Eddie's eyes widened. Holy shit, that girl has superpowers.

"Who is this?" A pale boy asked, staring at Eddie.

"Who is she?" Nancy asked, pointing at Robin.

"Who are these guys?" Eddie asked, grinning. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to be left out."

"Mike, Lucas, Will, El, Nancy, Jonathan. . .this is Eddie Munson, leader of a D&D club at the high school and the guys who saved Steve and Robin from being killed by the Russians," Dustin introduced.

"Russians?!" They exclaimed.

"D&D?!" Will exclaimed.

Before anyone could ask anything else, El the supergirl collapsed. Turns out there was something wiggling inside of her leg. Eddie was helping hold down her leg while Jonathan hovered over her with a knife when he caught El staring at him.

"Hi," He said.

"Are you my brother?" El asked.

"Uh. . ."

"Oh shit, you guys kind of do look alike," Dustin said.

"I don't know, kid, what's your father's name?" Eddie asked as Jonathan cut into her leg.

"Aunt Becky said his name was Andrew Rich," El said.

"Shit," Eddie cursed as Jonathan dug into her leg, and she yelled.

El ended up pulling the weird squishy thing out of her using her powers, and Chief Hopper, her adopted dad, stepped on it like it was a bug. Eddie sent Dustin to grab the biggest first aid he could find with needle and thread. He was going to have to stitch her up.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Hopper asked with El in his arms.

Dustin had come back with the first aid kid, and Eddie was preparing to stitch her up.

"I have done this several times for my dad, who was too drunk to do it himself. He was a doctor who showed me how. He kind of lost it after my mama died, and he kept getting into bar fights. The real person he was mad at was himself, though," Eddie said. "But you can't fight yourself. . .well. . ."

"How did she die?" El asked softly.

"Cancer. My dad was an oncologist, I think it killed him that he couldn't save her. I think it was also the fact that he wasn't a very good husband to her before she got sick. He practically cheated on her their entire marriage," Eddie said as he stitched her up. "When he went from bar fights to Grand Theft Auto, he did the only decent thing he ever did in his life and dropped me off at his brother's."

"Was she a good mama?" El asked.

"The best," Eddie whispered.

"I'm sorry," El said.

"Yeah," Eddie said, his voice choking.

"Is it true?" El asked.

"Is what true?" Hopper asked.

"Are you my brother?" El asked.

"Well, when he would go to bars to pick up women, he always used to use a false name. Well, for his last name anyway. Andrew Rich," Eddie said as he finished up wrapping his leg. "So, yeah, I guess I'm your brother."

He grinned, and she did the same. She leaned over and poked his dimples, doing the same to hers. Eddie laughed. El leaned forward and hugged him.

"I did not see that coming," Dustin said.

"Weren't you the one who said that they looked alike?" Steve asked.

"Semantics," Dustin waved him off.

Eddie pulled back from the hug, smiling as he blinked away the tears.

"Your bio dad is a disappointment, but let me tell you, our uncle is not. I think he would like to get to know you," Eddie said. "If your dad is okay with that?"

"It's her decision," Hopper said gruffly as he kissed her forehead.

"I would like to meet him," El said firmly.

There were so many more questions that Eddie had for El, and clearly, she had some too, but there were clearly more important things happening. Apparently, there was this thing called the Mind Flayer, the name had been taken from D&D, and it had built a monster from people. Ugh. Steve summed it up perfectly.

"Sorry. So, just to be clear, this. . . big fleshy spider thing that hurt El, it's some kind of giagantic. . .weapon? But instead of, like, screws and metal, the Mind Flayer made its weapon out of melted people?" Steve asked.

"Yes, exactly."

"Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm just making sure," Steve muttered.

Eddie was glad that he wasn't the only freaked out by that. Everything about this situation was overwhelming. He figured out his sexual identity and developed a crush on Steve Harrington while running from the Russians, then learned he had a sister! That last part actually wasn't too surprising, knowing how big of a slut his dad was. To top it all off, there was a fucking monster from another dimension made of melted people. Everything else before that seemed like nothing compared to the people who died. Or were they dead? If not, could they feel what's happening? Are they aware? God. He can't believe he's saying this, but. . .he hoped they were dead. He hoped they didn't know. They, however, were alive and not melted. He could be thankful for that.

"You okay?" Steve whispered.

"No. I was just thinking about those people. . ."

"Yeah, me too."

Steve brushed his hand against his, and Eddie felt the corners of his lips twitch. God, it was the little things that made Eddie absolutely crazy for this man. It wasn't long after that they had to part ways. Hopper, Joyce, and Murray were going down to the bunker to shut the machine that was opening the gate off. Murray creeped him out. He kept sending him, and Steve odd looks the entire time. It was like he knew. Meanwhile, Steve and Robin were going to take Dustin along with Erica to Dustin's fancy radio so they could navigate them through the bunker. The others were going to Murray's place.

"Take care of your sister," Hopper said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "You're a good kid."

"Says the guy who arrested me a couple of times," Eddie said.

"The first time wasn't exactly your fault now, was it?" Hopper said, and then he was gone.

When Steve was set to leave, Eddie couldn't help himself. He threw his arms around Steve and hugged him tightly. Eddie burrowed his face into Steve’s neck and breathed in his scent. Eddie gagged.

"Oh. You stink, sweetheart," Eddie said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, let me just stop in the middle of this very fucked up situation and take a shower," Steve said, smiling.

"My nose would appreciate it, darling," Eddie replied, and Steve pushed him.

"Go protect your sister," Steve replied.

It was pure luck in the end that saved them and his sister. Right when the Mind Flayer was about to strike her down, the machine had been destroyed, he guessed, while Eddie cradled his sister in his arms. His face was swollen and bleeding from Hargrove's assault. Eddie let her sob into his chest, tired from fighting. That's when the American soldiers came in and led them outside into the parking lot, watching as the mall burned. He met Steve there, El leaning against his side until she spotted Hopper and Joyce. El took off towards them while Eddie took off towards Steve and Robin. He ended up pulling Robin into the hug as well. Steve breathed a sigh of relief into Eddie's neck.

"Eddie, sweetheart, you stink," Steve said.

All three of them started laughing.

"Don't worry, Robin, you stink too. Didn't want you to feel left out," Eddie said.

"You could have left me out of that, thank you, Munson," Robin replied.

"Eddie!" He heard his uncle's voice from across the lot.

Eddie broke the hug and saw his uncle running towards him. Eddie met him halfway, colliding with him into a tight hug.

"Uncle Wayne, damn it's good to see you," Eddie said.

"You didn't come home, and I saw the helicopters. . .I just knew so I followed them," Wayne said and pulled back. "What happened to your face, boy?"

"I got trampled on the way out," Eddie lied smoothly.

"You don't have to tell me what happened but please don't try to bullshit me, okay?" Wayne asked.

"I like boys and girls," Eddie blurted out.

"Well, I knew that, son," Wayne said.

"You knew?" Eddie asked in a quiet voice. "How did you know before I did?!"

"You don't think I know my own nephew?" Wayne asked, scoffing. "Besides, you aren't as mysterious as you think you are."

Eddie pouted. El suddenly appeared at his side, and he grinned, wrapping his arm around her.

"Oh, Uncle Wayne, this is El. . .she's my half sister," Eddie said proudly.

"Well, I don't think we need a DNA test. She looks a lot like you, Eds," he said and held out his hand. "Wayne Munson."

"El Hopper," she said, knocking his hand aside and hugging him.

"I may have told her that you're the best, and you give the best hugs," Eddie said cheerily.

Wayne chuckled and hugged her back.

"Easy there, Ellie, I'm an old man, now," Wayne said as she squeezed him and pulled back.

"Hah! Eddie and Ellie!" Eddie exclaimed and El giggled.

"I love it!"

Eddie watched the helicopters flying around overhead. He glanced back over to Steve, who was standing there awkwardly. He waved him over, and Steve raised an eyebrow with a curious look in his eyes. Eddie rolled his eyes and waved him over again. Steve jogged over, and Eddie played music in his head as he did so. He was sure he was grinning like an idiot. He made it out. He was alive. He had a family, new friends, and he had sort of gotten the guy! The guy! That part was still a little fuzzy. Were they together?

A FEW MONTHS LATER. . .Steve’s POV

Steve yawned and stretched, feeling that the other side of the bed was empty. Where was his boyfriend? Steve wondered out of the room and walked downstairs. The last few months had been great. There was still a lot of recovery left to do because of Starcourt. Everyone still had nightmares because of it. Some couldn't handle it, though. Billy had survived, but he couldn't handle what happened and had split town with his dad. Susan nearly fell apart, and she would have if it hadn't been for Hopper. Her and Max were now living in Eddie's trailer park. Ellie had been ecstatic that her brother, her uncle, and her best friend were now living quite close. Ellie was a name she had been happy to take up, but anyone was welcome to still call her El. Steve and Eddie had developed quite quickly, not that Steve had complained. He saw a future with Eddie, and there was hope that it was going to happen. That is, if he could find his gremlin of a boyfriend.

"Eddie?" Steve asked.

"In here!" Eddie called from the kitchen.

Steve sighed when he walked downstairs. There was a trail of mud leading from the backdoor to the kitchen. Steve followed it to see Eddie crouching on the floor covered head to foot in mud.

"Eddie?"

"Guess what? We have a baby!" Eddie exclaimed delightfully.

Eddie stepped back to reveal a brown kitten drinking a saucer of milk.

"Where did you find that?" Steve said.

"I followed him, and then the poor thing was stuck in the mud," Eddie said, picking it up and looking underneath. "It's a boy! Steve, we have a son! What should we name him?"

"I don't know. . .uh, Brownie?" Steve asked, crowing beside him and scratching behind the kitten's ear.

"How original," Eddie said sarcastically and then gasped. "Bowie! Bowie would be so perfect!"

"Bowie Munson!" Steve exclaimed.

"He's taking my name?" He asked with big eyes.

"Of course, for the daddy that found him!" Steve exclaimed. "Plus, he has the same crazy look in his eyes that you do."

"Hey! Rude!" Eddie said and grinned. "I'm going to go called Ellie Bellie and Dusty Buns! They need to know that they're an auntie and an uncle!"

"You're going to clean this up, right?" Steve asked.

"Of course, baby!" Eddie exclaimed and disappeared down the hall.

Bowie meowed at his feet.

"Your daddy's full of shit," Steve said. "I'm going to be the one to clean it up. I wouldn't change a thing, though. Your daddy makes life interesting. I'm so glad he followed us."

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #eddie munson lives #steve harrington #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfiction #bisexual eddie munson #bisexual steve harrington #long fic #stranger things fanart #rueleigh writes #rueleigh edits

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shirefantasies · 4 months

Note

Hi!! I just found your blog and I love the way you write your headcanons! I was wondering if there's anyway you could write how each of the company in the hobbit would cuddle? or how they'd show physical affection? If not, that's fine, just thought I'd ask! (sorry if this is a bit weirdly worded I don't actually request things often lol, I've just been in such a the hobbit mood and found your blog and loved it immediately.)

Thank you sweetie and I'm so glad you love my headcanons 🥰 but this imagine YUS YUS YUS!!! My Hobbit mood has been coming in big ol waves of late heck yeah 🫡

Thorin’s Company + Physical Affection

Balin

✧ If you fall and he catches you, you may notice the way his hands wind around your waist and keep you for just a moment longer than absolutely necessary.

✧ Always the one who does your fastens for you and helps you into your coat, lingering touches therein as well.

✧ Sometimes his hand will just creep over as he listens to you, taking yours and drawing encouraging circles upon the back of it.

✧ Pulls you closer into his chest in the cold, whispering that it's alright, don't be shy as you melt into him.

✧ Almost always at your side with a hand placed gently but firmly upon your shoulder, half guiding, half guarding.

Dwalin

✧ This guy...is not very physically affectionate. You're going to have to coax it out of him like a stray cat.

✧ He enjoys sparring with you if you're down and you may notice he prefers pinning you or wrestling you down to, say, literally any other member of the company, but that feels like something beyond affection...

✧ "Are you hurt? Let me see." For the strength of his hands, he cradles your head, your arm, whatever it may be, so gently and warmly.

✧ Acts exasperated when you show up at his side to cuddle, accepts only “because it’s so cold, I suppose it’d be right”, then wraps his arms around you and holds you against his chest as tight as he can.

✧ Seated at a table, Dwalin will keep an arm draped over the back of your chair at all times.

Thorin

✧ His hands go to you first after any sort of danger, holding you back initially then laying a hand on your shoulder as he checks you over, ensuring no harm came to you.

✧ Asks for your hand, taking it in his when your travels get difficult so as to lead you along the safest path he can find.

✧ Wraps you up in his coat, his hands sliding down your arms after he drapes it upon you, staying like that for a moment with his chest to your back.

✧ Big spoon. That feeling of care, of presiding over your warmth and safety and everything Thorin can give absolutely translates to your sleep, your solace. It means the world to him if he can be your comfort.

✧ Even in idle times, Thorin tends to stand with a hand wrapped around your waist, not grasping you tightly or restricting you in any way, but simply enough to keep you near and make it clear that you are his.

Oin

✧ Offering massages is basically a love language for him. The others are always asking him and sometimes he gets annoyed or just does it grudgingly, but when it is you? He takes his time, uses your favorite oils, savors the connection between you two and your hums of pleasure.

✧ Oin loves asking you for help just as an excuse to have you near, your hands darting beneath his to grab supplies or holding down his work, his own coming to cover yours as often as he can spare them.

✧ In the moments you get to sit next to each other, his hand will gingerly rest over yours. If you tense up at all, you can feel his grip tighten just a little bit, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

✧ Likes loose cuddling, simply your arms draped over his side as you rest alongside each other. Also not-so-secretly enjoys being the little spoon- indulge him every now and again!

✧ Has been known to give your cheeks the occasional affectionate pinch or squeeze, just smiling and chuckling giddily to himself at the sight of you before he leans in for a kiss.

Gloin

✧ Always fussing over your hair, whether it's getting things out of it or even knowing its entire care routine and performing it for you if you let him, his hands dressing it practically reverently.

✧ Gets bored, forgets himself and plays with your hands. If you wear rings, he probably slides those around or spins them a bit. He enjoys intertwining your fingers again and again and keeping both of your hands in his as he peers at you.

✧ When simply standing around, he sometimes will stand behind you and drape his arms over your shoulders as if claiming you.

✧ Will practically wrestle you into position if you try to make him little spoon. You have to get him tired enough before he’ll accept not being the one to hold you.

✧ Grabs you up into the biggest, bone-crushing in the best of ways, bear hugs you've ever had the pleasure of being swept into.

Bifur

✧ Speech can be so difficult, the feeling of trying without success so frustrating that a meaningful touch is simpler and infinitely more calming. A favorite of his is a simple hand on the shoulder, a gesture of care.

✧ He also loves teasingly elbowing you to get your attention, whether it's to show you something or just to say hello!

✧ Tracing each and every line and curvature of your face is his guilty pleasure; it is as though he is at work silently memorizing your every feature.

✧ Looser with cuddling, the feeling sometimes suffocating, especially if he has a nightmare. Rather than cage you in or be caged in, Bifur prefers the simple feeling of your hand upon his chest or your head leaned against his while you sleep.

✧ Absolutely loves decorating you, feeling like an attendant to royalty as he slides rings onto your finger, bracelets and necklaces he made around your neck or wrist. Such moments are some of the most tender between you, the way he looks at you afterward and the way his hands caress you after each beauty is set to magnifying yours.

Bofur

✧ Has a little habit of just taking your hand and twirling you when you stand together, almost as if you're dancing in place.

✧ When you truly are dancing, you know Bofur will be dipping you down for a kiss nearly every time!

✧ Cuddling is all over the place. Snakes his arms around you and pulls you into his lap when he’s feeling particularly merry. Lays facing you before sleep, your legs tangled together in the most wonderful mess.

✧ Bofur has this little habit of falling onto you when you’re laughing together, playfully shoving you before his hands fall into your lap or grab your knee.

✧ Hugs from Bofur often turn into him picking you up and spinning you around!

Bombur

✧ As I've mentioned, he is the best with a partner who has anxiety, basically becoming a living weighted blanket atop you.

✧ Though shy and subtle he can be with his initial affections, Bombur is very cuddly. The greatest cuddler, in fact. Your shared bedroll is the coziest one of the whole lot.

✧ Has been known to, upon being in a bolder mood, turn his head when you lean to kiss his cheek, capturing your lips instead! Has the biggest smile upon success, so you can never be upset.

✧ Pulls you into a hug the moment you say or do something cute.

✧ Great acts of service fellow as he is, Bombur will often offer things like scratching your back or rubbing tension from your neck as a means of getting closer while still providing for you.

Dori

✧ Small, subtle touches, like letting his hands cover yours when you accept the steaming mug of tea he hands you.

✧ He also loves running a thumb over the back of your hand when you sit side by side, sharing that one point of connection between you two.

✧ Always does a cute little tap to your knee after he laces up your boots for you, a little wink topping the endearing gesture off.

✧ The type who loves to lay with your heads against each other, cheeks brushing, especially as you look at the stars, discussing everything beneath the sun and very well likely some things not beneath it at all.

✧ Shocks you when you sit at a table and you feel his hand on your knee, and again when it moves up and down, tracing a little pattern on your thigh.

Nori

✧ I still maintain that Nori would be the main perpetrator of the classic yawning or stretching as an excuse to put an arm around you. Once you're pulled in, though? Good luck getting back out! You are nothing if not secure in his grasp.

✧ Cheekily sliding his hand into your pocket, especially if you have a back pocket, is his favorite.

✧ If there is any possibility of him not being able to hear you, Nori will lean in as close as he can, possibly even drawing you forward with a hand beneath your chin, grinning if you get flustered.

✧ Ideal cuddling position, you ask? Why, with him on top of you, obviously! Enough said.

✧ When it isn’t in your pocket, he nearly always has a hand at the small of your back when you walk. He occasionally uses it to guide you, but mostly he likes to run it up and down your spine, occasionally running his nails down too, giving you a cheeky look when he does it.

Ori

✧ Oscillates between being too shy to show physical affection and a natural propensity to misunderstand personal space. For example, he'll probably not want to kiss you in front of his older brothers lest they tease him, but when he gets excited about his latest drawing he practically throws his arms entirely around you to show you his sketchpad.

✧ Shares his scarf with you, winding the two of you both into its long, thick warmth and flushing as you lean in closer and closer beneath it.

✧ The kisses you share in private are almost desperate, hands clinging to whatever fold of fabric they can reach to draw each other in.

✧ Enjoys pretty much any way you lie together, facing each other, back to back, you name it, Ori is eager for it!

✧ Rubs your hands between his own to keep you warm, straightens your clothes up for you, little tending touches that lead to kisses upon your hands or head.

Fili

✧ Gives amazing hugs, pulling you into his arms and soothingly, lovingly sliding a hand up and down your back.

✧ So sweet, he loves swinging your joined hands between you both if you are granted the opportunity for a leisurely stroll.

✧ Always wants to be the big spoon when you guys cuddle, that position feeling much more protective of you, secure as he can hold you.

✧ Sneaks up behind you to cover your eyes, asking ‘guess who’ and chuckling at the way you startle if he catches you by surprise.

✧ Offers you his arm when you walk together and smiling when you link yours with his and rest your hand upon his upper arm.

Kili

✧ In love with physical affection. Who cares who sees you? Not this dwarven prince, that is certain! Completely unafraid to pull you into his lap and hold you, pride crossing his face.

✧ Pulls your joined hands into his pockets as you walk side by side.

✧ When he teaches you how to shoot, he guides you smoothly by the hips, hands running down your sides and along the length of your arms until you reach the proper stance.

✧ His favorite way to cuddle is you lain upon his chest, your head against his heart and right there for him to place kisses atop.

✧ You two are a tangled mess at fireside, someone’s legs always thrown upon the other’s lap.

Bilbo

✧ Rather than show you over-the-top affection, Bilbo is the sort to just stay glued to your side, joining you at the hip for even the most mundane tasks even if it’s under the guise of “getting a break from all the dwarves”.

✧ Similarly, he’ll offer to hold your hands “because it’s quite crowded” or “just so you don’t fall, it’s a bit steep here and all”.

✧ When you sit together at the fireside, he may get flustered but he absolutely loves it when you lay your head upon his shoulder.

✧ He also favors being little spoon, not that he would necessarily tell you that out loud, but you can feel the way he relaxes, hums in contentment against you.

✧ Bilbo gets surprisingly protective, though, shifting you behind him or moving you aside by your waist when danger strikes.

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