#I REALLY want to draw my dragons more! I've been saying this for years......

[themeeplord]

Drew my beloved Arkai!!

Last time I drew him was over a year ago.. :')

#I REALLY want to draw my dragons more! I've been saying this for years...... #art #my art #dragon character #dragon art #ocs #dragon

[solargeist]

wait wait please elaborate the storyline for if he agreed to become a watcher, PLEASE!! I actually kinda want to dive into that idea.. i hadnt heard of the theory before, why did he agree? when did he? what was it like after? did he know anything about the watchers?

ok but doesnt this also kind of fit his personality more?

oh man, I'll try my best, its been awhile since i've watched Evo, and words are not my friends !

Grian knows about the Watchers, they were a common occurrence in Evo, the portals, the pranks, the traps, and the symbols were normal in his day-to-day.

He was their favourite even, gifting him a diamond, in a chest full of coal, a diamond in the rough, in their many eyes. I'm not sure if he knew this though.

I do think at his core, he has a Watcher's personality. He pranks people, he sets traps, he leaves symbols even of his own face, he makes secret bases under other's bases so he can watch them, he likes spying. They must've taken notice of this.

Its not actual lore, but Taurtis makes fun of Grian multiple times for talking to the Audience, which, fourth wall, is us! But I like the idea of it being story, its the Watchers, already leading him down this path from the beginning, hes so promising ! Taurtis calls them the voices in his head, Grian doesn't argue, "Are the voices in your head telling you that?" "Hm..... No, the voices don't even know, its a secret!" The voices, the audience, the watchers, all the same thing. Grian says he's meant to be the hero of the story.

Anyway, Grian meets the Watchers after the server all teams up and slays the dragon, they reach the End. He is 25 years old.

The portal leads him somewhere different than everyone else, everyone else goes home. He goes beyond the credits, who knows where it spawns him, but it doesn't matter, he's being offered a deal, a chance to ascend.... I don't know the exact reason he'd agree, but I'm leaning towards a selfish reason, he's gotten bored with his limitations, he wants to be better, do better, those updates.. They're enticing and he's envious, in the beginning he was punished for being greedy, but now he's being rewarded.

After ? I guess he just lives with the Watchers, in an End city somewhere ? Learning how to craft portals by hand, update ideas, watching players, pranks, traps, symbols, fun ! its fun ! hes having fun !

He starts growing wings ! Its not really fun anymore !! That was the one thing they didn't tell him about, not directly, he agreed to be a Watcher, he clicked his heels and said I wanna be a watcher, but he didn't understand it meant really becoming one physically, yknow, it could've been a title! a role he's meant to play !

I write two paths from this point. 1) He runs away from the Watchers and ends up in Hermitcraft, still with those brilliant white wings.

2) He just sticks with it, creature mode, he grows wings, it sucks, but things can be fun again, back to it, he grows talons, it hurts, but still, he spends his time digging through servers and player lists, he grows two more eyes and feathers peek through his skin. He's 25 years old, he likes pranks, and traps, and symbols. This is more the bad end friends version LOL that I use for fanart fun.

Thats, all the storyline ? That I draw ? Its nothing crazy, just a tinyyyy bit more than canon . My version, my theory, my boy !!

But at the end of the day, regardless, I do think the Watchers genuinely love him, maybe in the way you love a puppy and give them treats when they sit and be quiet, but they're extremely fond of him.

#ask #when i think abt evo grian i think abt The Witch #evo smp #THIS IS MOSTLY HEADCANONS BUT I DO PULL AS MUCH AS I CAN FROM THE SERIES #i rambled a lot im sry i hope this makes sense and answers u AAAAA #creatureAU #evoAU

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Wobbly Hearts AU

Summary: Kai doesn’t like soulmates. He doesn’t want them and he certainly doesn’t need them. High school is hard enough without all the extra stress of soulmarks and finding your soulmates. He decided at a young age he didn’t have time for soulmates and he plans to stick to that decision. Unfortunately, as always, the universe seems to take a lot of joy in messing with him. or Kai struggles with reading and it’s everybody’s problem.

Hi there! Yes it's the very fic I've been yelling about in vague posts and tags the last 6+ months! It's been so long since I've posted anything to ao3 I've forgotten how it works but I'm doing my best! This fic is an AU set in an alternate universe of the LEGO Ninjago Movie (2017) combined with a lot of the characterization and aspects from the original LEGO Ninjago show. It's over 100k so buckle up and prepare for some shenanigans!

the first chapter is UP

sample under cut

Kai got his first soulmarks when he tried to eat a marker.

Tiny, with fumbling fingers, freckles and barely two years old he didn’t remember that day in the slightest. But his parents told the story to him and Nya all the time when they were little. 

It was the little red marker they said that he went for. His mom didn’t notice until he’d pried off the cap and stuck it into his mouth after several unsuccessful attempts that ended in red marker all over his face. She’d gotten it out of his mouth before he could really try to eat it like he’d been meaning to. He'd started crying at the abruptness of his marker being taken away, but those tears dried up fairly quickly after his mom scooped him up. 

His mom laughed that maybe his soulmates wanted him to feel less alone because a blue marker appeared not long after they started to wash off the red.

His first soulmark.

Kai grew up with their scribbled colorful lines on his skin. At first it was the hazardous meaningless lines of a toddler and then, as time progressed, they became more purposeful doodles. They were just another part of life he didn’t fully understand but accepted as fact because his parents simply smiled and spoke over his head of soulmates. He didn’t think he really grasped much of the concept of exactly what a soulmate was until he turned five.

They were someone (or several someones) that could be his favorite person (or people) in the whole wide world if he let them. After Nya was born he argued she was his soulmate because she was his most favorite person in the whole wide world. His dad said it was a different kind of favorite. But Nya was family and that was just as important. 

It wasn’t until he was seven and struggling to learn the alphabet that he realized there was more than one soulmate out there for him.

Words started appearing as they learned how to write, the letters slanted and wobbly and hazardous. He watched their writing change and improve and watched them start to talk to each other. There were two of them. Two soulmates all for him. They talked in the simple words that they could manage. One excitedly scribbled I <3 U when they learned how. Kai had to ask his mom what the lines meant and she explained it with a patient smile. It means I love you.

He was ten and still just drawing doodles while his soulmates spoke of their favorite cartoons and what they had eaten that day. Letters seemed to float around his head and laugh at him as he tried to read what they were saying, frustrated tears biting his eyes and blurring the letters. Seeing him struggle, his mom would let him sit on her lap and read him the words out loud while he rested his head on her shoulder.

Pens and markers felt awkward in his hands. The little doodles he managed never looked as good as the doodles one of his soulmates was always making. Their doodles were of cool stuff, like ninja and dragons and mechs. The doodles were so cool and Kai doodled little hearts and flames around them as best he could to show how much he liked them. But half the time he couldn’t tell the hearts from the fire and explosions, everything so wobbly and awful. He tried to write his name once and it was almost worse than the hearts.

Keep Reading

#knox rambles #KNOX WRITES (me) #LEGO Ninjago Wobbly Hearts AU #Ninjago #Lego Ninjago Movie (2017) #Lego Ninjago #WELL THIS IS EXCITING I'M #HGKL;SFJSDFSADF #HERE WE GO #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BUCKLE UP #won't be privating this work for a while so read away my good sirs #also i have like a discord set up for this if enough people are vibin with it i'll toss an invite link #]

[zhongrin]

Merry Christmas Rin and here is my present to you

Santa Zhongli have a lot of presents for you if you feed him a cookie and drink his all of his creamy milk

Or

Perhaps you might like him coming home to you all tied up in ribbons and a pretty bow, the look on his face when he saw you made him speechless and highly aroused that it's evident by the bulge in his pants

"Welcome home darling would you like to open your present now or later"

after snapping out of the little daze he was in chuckled

"My it seems like I've been very good this year to deserve such a delicious present to ravage and fucked senseless to my heart's desire"

he's now towering over you staring with lust filled eyes that seems to be glowing almost like a predator hunting it's prey it sent a pleasurable chill down your spine

"Now then how should I open my present should start slow by peeling it off one by one kissing lower and lower or should I rip everything off and take you in the most intense feral rough fucking that will leave you dumb, drooling and begging to be used as my cum dump isn't that right pet but first I'm going to leave you tied up and eat you out until I have you squirting on my face before I have my way with you"

Well let's just say we had a very and I mean VERY long night and day(s) enjoying his present.

𝐬𝐫𝐜. — [NaVir_log] ✼ [hooang18]

milk and cookies

◇ characters ◇ zhongli

◇ tags ◇ dragon!zhongli (you're at zhongrin at tumblr dot com, you shouldn't be surprised), afab!reader, sub!reader, fingering, (one) slap to your thigh, reader implied to have a voice kink, power imbalance, overstimulation, petnames (darling, dear, dearest, sweetheart, my love, beloved, pet, mate)

◇ a/n ◇ *head in hands* this was supposed to be a small blurb. a small blurb. how did it get to this point????

.... anyway.

MERRY HORNYMAS (this should've been the actual title actually) MY FELLOW DEGENERATES!! MAY YOUR HOLIDAYS BE FULL OF HORNY THOTS AND MAY YOU GET TO CUM AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT!!!! hsjdjskdj dirty talk with zhongli… *flashback to azeru’s latest rex lapis asmr* AHEM. while this isn’t as filthy as that, i think this suits zhongli better… altho morax still came out to play just a bit bc i’m a whore for him

𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

“did you know that apparently, the tradition around this time of the year in the other nations is that you leave cookies and milk for the old man dressed in a strange outfit so he can give you a present in return?”

you’re not sure how that one innocent, nonchalant statement landed you in this position, but you honestly don’t really want to complain. not when your beloved is staring at you from between your legs - with those glowing eyes that shine brighter than freshly minted mora coins and that sinful draconic tongue of his eagerly lapping the mess you made after your… third? fourth? let’s just say fourth time seeing all white.

“want you in me, please, please-”

you’re reduced to tears and begging, just the way he likes it; an evident fact by the snarky lilt of his lips. the sharp talons dig into the flesh of your thighs, reminding you of the bestial ancestry of your lover. you know he would never draw blood from you without your consent, but the thrill, the danger, the knowledge that he is far more powerful than you - a puny mortal human with no adeptal powers whatsoever - rips a shameless moan from your lips and makes your cunt clench around nothingness.

archons, you just want him to fill you up already.

“patience, my dear,” he chuckles, and you realize in embarrassment that you’ve said your thoughts out loud, “you know how i like to take you. slow and sensual, before bringing you over the edge again and again… much like a well-written contract, i must make sure to prepare and highlight all the very delicate points clearly before delving to the main girth of the agreement.”

you would have rolled your eyes at his words if you weren’t craving and drooling for his cock. leave it to your lover to liken having such intimate moments to writing a contract.

the beautiful man presses a sweet kiss to your throbbing clit and moves to nibble your inner thighs, human fingers with neatly trimmed nails of his right hand replacing the soft skin of his lips, rubbing circles and pressing against the right spots. the sensual massage elicits a series of whines out of you, yet zhongli stays true to his words, taking his time to build your pleasure from the start all over again, greedily drinking your noises of pleasure and countless pleas for something more.

your gentle dragon coos lovingly and you inwardly thank rex lapis (the irony flies past your pleasure-soughting brain) for the finger that sinks into your velvety walls. it’s not enough, but it’s a start. it’s something, at least.

“look at you, clenching so tightly around one finger. darling, how will you ever make me fit inside you? maybe we should stop. i really don’t want to hurt my precious beloved.”

breath hitching, you grab onto his wrist before he can retreat completely, teary eyes staring right at his mischief-laden smile, “i can! i can take it! please, please don't pull out- don't stop-”

“oh? are you sure?”

you nod fervently, knowing that you’re willingly walking into a trap. but you’ve chosen to walk into the den of a dragon, and you already know you won’t be leaving until he’s satisfied. so you’ll gladly play the games he wishes to host - for you know it’ll end with both of you satiated. zhongli is anything but selfish, after all.

“very well… why don’t you show it, then. prove your… determination, so to say,” he nuzzles onto your thigh and readjusts his hold, “how many do you think you can take, hmm?”

“o-oh. uhm-” you stare bashfully at the way he splays his fingers on your crotch. his hands are always so pretty, you muse. slender and long, prominent knuckles and visible veins, always so warm and calloused from millenia of battles, dark colored as the fertile soil and pulsing with geo. he always knows how to flick his wrist, and he’s well aware of the effect he has on you when he chokes you with his fingers as he-

“darling, i asked you a question.”

with a sharp exhale, you spluttered a meek three? to which he replies with a hum. you’re trembling for excitement at the hard edges that have settled to his features. morax commands obedience, and it seems like the slight mistake you made has slightly ruffled his patience.

without warning, his beautiful fingers slide into you - an easily done action given the number of orgasms you’ve been put through, yet the unexpectedness of it startled you, and a curse word falls from your lips.

you don’t even feel the loss of his appendages; the loud slap and the burst of pain blooming across the skin of your thigh hits you first, and you arch your back in response, tears slipping down your temples, mouth lolling open in a loud wail.

“language.”

a meek apology is all you could provide before his fingers delved back into your sopping hole with newfound tightness. he’s going slow and yet he finds the spot that makes you scream in pleasure right away, having done this so many times it’s practically muscle memory for him. zhongli sighs fondly at the way you start bucking your hips, egging him to increase his pace, but he is unyielding as stone as he speaks with a warning in his voice, darkened and colored with lust and order.

“darling, stop misbehaving. aren’t you supposed to only receive your gift when you’re good?”

in other words, don’t be a brat or he’ll stop.

“i wanna cum,” you whine, more tears lining your pretty lashes, fists gripping onto the sheets in desperation. still, you ceased your movements upon his scolding, much to his delight.

“i know you do. and i shall make sure you do, dearest. all for me.”

the man shifts and stands onto his knees before crawling on top of you. he easily towers over your form in this half-dragon body, and when he settles his lips right before your ear as he restarts the sensual but precise thrusts of his appendages, you know.

you know you’re in for a treat.

honey sweet words with filthy connotations spoken in dulcet tones fill your ears. your eyes squeeze shut, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip as your senses focus on the otherworldly sensations consuming your whole being. the expert hand playing with your body, bumping against that spongy spot and causing more slickness to drip down the mattress. his breathing and the little growls and hums and chuckles filling your auditory senses, demanding your attention and sending jolts of pleasure right down your core.

“doing so good for me, darling. you were being a little bratty just now, but i can see how you’re trying so hard to be my good little pet.”

“can you hear how wet you are? dear me, i’ve just recently changed the bedsheets but here you are soiling them in record time. how naughty of you.”

“submit to your archon, sweetheart. let me take care of you. you’ve been working hard, haven’t you? you deserve a little reward… i’ll gladly provide that.”

“feel how good my fingers are. that’s right, good. keep tightening around me. you’re so adorable, my love…”

“are you imagining it was my cock instead? are you wishing it was my cock that was inside of you right now? oh, my beloved mate, did the thought just make you squeeze? hmm? are you close? you are, aren’t you?”

zhongli muffles your incoherent babbles with a kiss, stealing your breath and the last bit of your sanity away. your nails dig onto his bicep as he silences your moan with his tongue, your climax hitting you harder than your previous ones. your walls spasm and your hips squirm from the incessant thrusts of his fingers, but your lover stubbornly persists in helping you ride your orgasm fully. it feels like hours had gone past when he finally stops - and he only allows himself to do so once you’re twitching helplessly under him and pliant in his arms.

you’re sweating and drooling and crying. simply put, you’re a pathetic mess. yet as your loving spouse pulls away, all he sees is the most divine deity sprawled on his bed, coming down from the blissful heaven that he helped you ascend to, and so in a sudden burst of admiration and love, he places a gentle kiss onto your sweaty forehead.

you hum and close your eyes, allowing your body to rest and gathering your consciousness back into you, savoring the long kiss that speaks of appreciation, warmth, and adoration.

the moment of reprieve is suddenly broken when you feel him reposition himself, before a finger taps on your soaked clit.

“beloved, this old god is still quite thirsty… you’ll let me milk you some more before giving you your present, right?” he blinks and seems to have realized an error in his words, chuckling and giving you a hungry look as he uncaringly swipes his dirtied fingers through his damp bangs to slick them away from his face, hips jutting out proudly with an obvious bulge that’s far too big for normal mortals, straining against his pants.

“— ah, apologies... i meant presents.”

© zhongrin | 2022 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

◇ taglist ◇ @thestarsofenkanomiya | @genshinparty | @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sophiethewitch1 | @why-am-i-here-someone-save-me | @sunnshineflxwer | @heartonthemoon | @yuutasbabe | @percyval-archives | @carbs-need-more-love | @rebeccka | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @herdrops | @diebischesther | @marina-and-the-memes | @angryhope | @mixed-kester | @shuangxo | @fiannee | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ladylofspades | @sup-zfam | @ansy-tea

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader #rin writes #rin answers #rin is having tea with: sheepmc #minors dni #this is sheepy's fault. ok? ok

[elbdot]

There's SO much new content on my Patreon that I felt the need to draw attention to it again, like this WIP of a short fun comic I'm hoping to upload there soon! I have to admit I've been more quiet lately on all my other socials due to feeling incredibly burned out by the constant pressure of "STAYING ACTIVE AND RELEVANT" and fighting the algorithm, but I want to change that now and step forward again with a new relaxed approach and a more positive attitude! :'D

I've been drawing A LOT of different art lately, from nature art to dragons, Fakemon designs, short comics based on fun personal experiences and of course "El's Alolan Adventures"-stuff as well, but I feel like I FINALLY get to experiment again with my art and express myself in new ways creatively!

There's so much I'm looking forward to sharing with you all and I wouldn't be able to do it without the immense support of my Patrons! 🥰 So if you've enjoyed my art and my content over the years, it would be amazing if you'd consider joining my Patreon as well! :D Only if you're able to of course! 😉 We have a lovely community on my Patreon Discord Server that I chat with on the daily and I'd be more than happy to welcome you there! In these whacky times in which twitter is up in flames and artists and content creators seem to burn out left and right, it was important to me to create a more personal space that wouldn't stress me out and I'm happy to say that my Discord server has absolutely turned into that space. I'd love to welcome more people on there! :D

So IF THIS SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME TO YOU, here's the link to my Patreon!

I'm excited to share even more new content both on my Patreon and here on tumblr soon as well! :D Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and thank you all for your support!! It really means the world to me! ~Eleanor ☺️💖

#Patreon #artists on tumblr #guzma #pokemon #pokemon sm #mod

[dragongirltongue]

New Pinned post <3

Hi there, the name is Zelda, or one of like, 20 other names that may or may not be listed somewhere around here. If you know a name I go by that isn't findable here don't use it. <3

I'm bigender which is made up of girl and fem6oy, as such I use she/her and sometimes he/him pronouns when I'm feeling fem6oy enough <3

I'm in my 30s, not getting more specific than that until I decide it's not true enough to change it, don't try to find my exact age as I don't like sharing that information publicly, I don't even update it on my birthday <3

I'm a polyamorous bisexual voraphile freak and if you're over 18 you're welcome to talk to me about how much of a freak I am. I love to flirt and encourage it. Also happy to share my Other Blog with anyone interested, again as long as you're of age. <3

I'm a film graduate and currently working on doing something with that experience as well as working on a superhero comic and a 2D zelda style game. Feel free to bug me about any of those I love to discuss writing and media and want to encourage media literacy. <3

I'm also an ex-jehovahs witness and as a result I'm hugely into the holiday season in a very against my old god kinda way. Also big into sinning <3

Also I'm like, a dragon in probably an otherkin/thetadelta kinda way, like, it's core to who I am and how I understand myself so yeah. Despite this my fursona is a fox, the dragon in my icon is literally me <3

I also draw sometimes and when I do it'll be posted to @dragongirldrawings but always reblogged here too.

Also I'm a member of a plural system, feel free to check out the rest of the system over here @haven-sys <3

Further on the identity weirdness I'm an imaginary friend for the person who used to inhabit this body, they've been gone for like, over 20 years so it's not really relevant but I have started embracing my nature as a fictional creation, it's comforting.

Btw, if one of my posts containing my typing quirk ends up on your dash I take no responsibility for it. I use it in posts that are for me only and if they happen to resonate with others that's their choice to reblog.

I had intended to set tipping up on my blog for a while but adhd caused me to never get around to it sooo, homebrew tip button on my original posts. Feel free and outright encouraged to steal this idea <3

So yeah that's me, hiii I love you all <3

this post is specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue

DNI list under the read more.

lmao imagine if I actually made one of those finally, that's how you'd know I've been replaced with an evil clone or something.

That being said if you're looking at my blog to send me an ask or dm about what someone gets off to please understand unless they're actively hurting someone I rly don't care. I have a lot of ignored and blocked anons about this.

This goes double if the person you're trying to alert me to is trans femme, we don't play that game here, especially given that I know I've been targetted for things as simple as engaging in vore the wrong way for some people or whatever.

Like, I just want to make it clear I rly don't give a fuck what another adult does in the bedroom, I rly don't care if the bedroom happens to include their blog and I rly don't care if they like to flirt about it with other adults on this website.

Also if your pinned post is a callout for anyone about anything it's likely to set off my paranoia around you, which is to say I will not be able to trust you if this is the case even if it's for someone who's actually a danger to a community, like, actively.

Like, this ain't a moral stance or anything, it's a mental health thing. I see that you want to make your first point of contact into a crosshair on someone else I'm gonna be scared you're gonna aim at me next even if it's completely reasonable that you'd never find anything objectionable with me. It scares me and I'm gonna spend every interaction walking on egg shells around you cos what if you're digging for dirt, like, I got no way of knowing.

Anyway as the opening joke implies I don't see any worth in having a list of things to not interact with me over cos the lived experience on this planet is so full of nuance and I've formed deem friendships with people who'd probably have avoided me if I had a DNI and they cared about it.

I think DNIs are dumb but this feels like a space to talk about some general limits on what I'm gonna put up with on this website. I'm just here for a good time with other freaks, anything else is optional. If you want to drag me into your discourse at this point then I guess this is whre I ask you to Do Not Interact. To anyone else, I love yall <3

If you've been directed here after sending an ask my way please apologize for wasting my time [here]

tl;dr DNIs are dumb but don't drag me into your personal grievances with others.

this post is still specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue [tip]

#6aaah #last updated june 4 #adding my tip 6utton on here too

[redgoldsparks]

I've never won National Novel Writing Month, but I am participating for my 7th time (not consecutively) this year. In the past I've always enjoyed receiving the Pep Talks from published authors, which are essentially like letters of encouragement to all of the writers trying to pour out the first draft of a novel in a month. A few of the ones I read, especially in my first year of doing NaNo, really stuck with me so I was very delighted to be asked to contribute one this year. You can read my Pep Talk here on the NaNo site but I will also post the full text below the cut. And to anyone doing NaNo this year-- good luck and keep writing!

instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble

I wanted to be a writer long before I knew I had anything to say. 

I had a childhood immersed in stories. My parents took me to the local library every week, where I checked out stacks of fantasy novels. I would pick up any book with a dragon, elf, sword, castle, wizard, or spaceship on the cover and my heroes were the authors and illustrators of these magical worlds. 

At some point I started to wonder about these writers. Who were they? What were their lives like? I began to pay more attention to author’s notes and was astonished to discover that many authors I loved mentioned each other in their acknowledgements. In The Ladies of Grace Adieu, Susanna Clarke thanked Neil Gaimen, Terri Windling, Ellen Datlow, and Charles Vess. In Stardust, Gaimen thanked Clarke in return, and also Diana Wynne Jones. Ursula K Le Guin and Robin Hobb wrote blurbs for Patrick Rothfuss’ Name of the Wind. In Finder, Emma Bull thanked Terri Windling, Steven Brust, and her husband, Will Shetterly. Tamora Pierce, George RR Martin, Peter S Beagle and Kelly Link all blurbed books by Ellen Kushner, who thanked more people than I have space to name. 

Holy shit, I realized. All of these authors know each other! They’re friends! This was followed by a second thought: If I want to meet them, and especially if I want to be friends with them, maybe I should publish a fantasy novel myself. 

That realization gave me a new goal, but no specific pointers on how to pursue it. I started out as many young authors do: I began writing long fantasy narratives with orphaned protagonists, extremely derivative of the fantasy I’d read as a teen. During multiple successive NaNoWriMos I chipped away at a YA novel about a boy and a dragon. I started drawing a webcomic about a thief who tried to rob a monastery only to be foiled by a witch with the same plan. These stories had characters, settings, and some plot but what they didn’t have was themes. They didn’t ask any questions about what it means to be human, and they didn’t touch on any of the big concerns I was wrestling with in my personal life: gender, sexuality, and identity. 

It took the rather painful experience of a literary agent telling me my fantasy work was unpublishable before I set my early stories aside, stepped back, and changed the direction of my writing towards exploring the big, vulnerable themes I had been shying away from. 

What I discovered is that instead of making writing harder, facing these themes head-on made writing easier. In my earlier work I had frequently hit writing blocks, places in my outlining process where I felt like I was wading through mud. When I didn’t know what I was trying to say on a meta level with my story it was often hard to decide what should happen next at the plot level. I would send my characters from location to location, but I’d be unsure of what they should do there, because I was unclear on how their actions added up to a larger picture. That feeling of being stuck and uncertain over what should come next fell away when I started focusing more clearly on expressing my bigger themes. Suddenly the path forward felt smooth. All it took to follow it was bravery and persistence. 

I also achieved my initial goal in wanting to be a writer. I have now met and befriended many other authors, not the same set that I idolized as a teen, but different writers who are exploring many of the same themes and questions in their work as I do in mine. I have friends, colleagues, co-authors, and writing partners to thank in my acknowledgements– often more than I have space to name. 

During this month, I know many of you are focused solely on pouring out the words. That is very important, but I recommend you take some time to think about the larger themes of your story as well. What message, hope, fear, question, or truth are you trying to communicate to the world through your writing? I promise that clearly articulating your themes will help you tell your story and find the friends and writers who will become your community. 

Good luck, and know that I am writing alongside you, and rooting for you! 

Maia Kobabe, Fall 2023

#maia kobabe #nanowrimo #nano 2023 #national novel writing month #writing

[abandonambition]

Who drew these Capricorns? It's me! I did it. S...Sorry.

HI TUMBLAR. I'm Dana. I draw animals and mythical creatures (mostly capricorns and dragons). I like to reflect on lesser-known or dark aspects of nature, feelings of distress and despair, or creating designs that just look cool for the sake of looking cool. I have a sort of positive nihilist outlook on life, in that I'm rather upset with the general state of things but I still feel compelled to find or create beauty and interest anyway, even if my darker feelings sometimes come out through my work.

"Abandon Ambition" is both grimly serious and darkly humorous. I was raised in both a household and country that emphasized setting lofty goals of acquiring high earnings and impressive assets, but the timing of my pursuit of these things has laughably aligned with global financial crises, global pandemics and lockdowns, and now global heatwaves and global conflicts. Abandon ambition, and instead embrace what you want to say and do and create and build now; Tomorrow is not yours, and your goals may not be waiting for you there.

Be responsible, and be kind. But hope and wait for nothing.

So uh, yeah, I draw a lot of stuff and explore a lot of things that I think I've been holding back on for years for one reason or another. I want to draw dark goats, glowing bats, tempest capricorns, skinny dragons, snarling wolves. So here they are.

Check out what I made!

A lot of my designs find themselves on fun and/or practical merch! I like to create things that are high quality and have a long shelf life: I don't want to make something thinking it'll go in a landfill in a year, I want you wearing and enjoying my work for a very long time.

Here's a hat that glows in the dark!

Wow! Here's another hat that doesn't glow in the dark, but still looks really nice.

Pretty! If keeping your skull cozy isn't your thing, I've printed my art on fabric, too. I like this idea because if you move house a lot and/or can't afford custom frames, art printed on fabric can be displayed anywhere, and folds up nicely when packing up for your next move, without any breaking glass or anything.

A big part of my thinking when I'm designing products is also what do I myself use in my day-to-day life, and lately I've been desperately trying to cut my phone addiction by going back to pen-and-paper planners and books and things instead of using screens. And to keep track of where I am in my planners and books, I've made bookmarks!

I had so much fun designing these. You have something enjoyable to look at on both sides of the page it's clipped on. How fun is that?

Okay lastly, I make a TON of stickers. A lot of my designs translate really well into small, self-contained things like stickers, and I only ever print vinyl stickers, so they live a long time on your laptop or phone case or wherever you wanna put them.

So that's a small collection of the things I've done and made. Do you like them? I hope you like them. I liked designing them.

A COOOUPON JUST FOR YOUUUU

If you'd like one o' these things for yourself, you're in luck!

You, lucky Tumblar user, can visit my shop and take 20% off with code TUMBLR20. This coupon expires 1st April 2024 (or does it...? That's April Fools' Day after all... Okay yeah it does actually expire then. Sorry).

Oh, commissions?

Hey! Sometimes people like my art style and want a custom commission. That's great, and I'm so glad you're interested!

If you'd like a custom ink mailed to you on a postcard that also features my art on the back (so it's like... you get two pieces of art on one postcard), these are exclusive to my Patreon right here. I have limited slots per every month, so check back often in case I'm sold out.

I also offer what I call "instant order" commissions via my Ko-Fi. You pick out one of the offerings I have, send me your ref sheet, pay, and I just...get it done. It's as close to instant as commissions can get.

Besides those, I also do more bespoke work, so you can send me a message to discuss your idea and we'll work something out. :corporatethumbsupemoji:

Honestly? Thanks!

The internet has become a pretty weird and honestly rather hostile place. I'm a solo act that's as indie as they get. So, it really does mean a lot to me when your eyeballs land on my stuff and you click that little heart or reblog icon, or even better when you add it to your cart and click check out. Your eyeballs land on thousands of stuff every day, so the fact that my stuff brought you joy or interest or something deep that you resonated with means a lot to me. I think in a sense it makes me feel like my brush strokes are going somewhere far beyond whatever canvas I've otherwise confined them to.

This is a pinned post to share who I am and help me get some coins to fund my life and art projects, but yeah you can reblog it and share it around planet earth, I don't mind. It's nice.

So yeah, that's me! Feel free to comment if you have questions or want to know whatever else, I'll uh... reply and like answer them and stuff.

#artist alley #tumblr artist alley #art #drawing #animal #animals #artwork #creature #creatures #artist #goat #occult #baphomet #bat #cat #biquette

[kaija-rayne-author]

Is Solas neurodivergent?

Of course, unless Weekes confirms one way or another, we'll never actually know. But I'd like to point out a few things.

Firstly. I'm autistic/ADHD, so are my kids and I've been an advocate for invisible disabilities, especially those two, for almost a decade now.

I offer an option on my Patreon for parents (or even just people) who need or want advice.

I have a little bit of a clue here. (More like a massive clue by nuke, but I digress 🤣.)

Why I code Solas from Dragon Age: Inquisition as neurodivergent.

1. Mentally ill fits under the neurodivergent (ND) umbrella. There's no way on Thedas that Solas isn't mentally ill.

(Yes, it really does fit. I'm not going to entertain arguments on the topic. It originally meant 'autistic' it no longer means that and hasn't for a long while. Neurodivergent brains = brains that work in any way other than 'the average'.) The antonym is Neurotypical. I tend to abbreviate them. Neurodivergent = ND, Neurotypical = NT.

At the very least, he likely has survivor syndrome. I'd wager on Depression and CPTSD too. (I have these conditions and am comfortable with saying he has a lot of the traits.) The guy was the leader of an enslaved elves rebellion and a war against the Evanuris. In his own words, he got his hands bloody.

No matter who you are, violence, whether you're the perpetrator or the victim, causes trauma to the psyche. And it went on for actual ages. An Age, in The Dragon Age franchise, is considered to be 100 years, so for hundreds of years, if not thousands, this dude has been fighting. Humans can get CPTSD just from a bad childhood. There's no way he hasn't developed it too.

Survivor syndrome is the response of a person when they believe they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic event when others did not, often feeling self-guilt. (Can we classify Solas clearly with this? Yes, yes we can.)

He wakes up in a world so horrific to him that he can't even conceive of the people as people.

That's a type of disassociation, which is a symptom of many mental illnesses. Depression is the most obvious. He fucked up, he knows it, he's now trapped in a hellscape. (Heeee, we're all trapped in a dystopian hellscape right now and Depression is on the rise, the correlation is there.)

Disassociation is feeling disconnected from yourself and/or the world around you. For example, you may feel detached from your body or feel as though the world around you is unreal.

There could be a few other things there. He'd be a classic case for Disassociative Identity Disorder, for instance, but given the shit rep on the topic, I'm not going there.

2. ADHD

ADHD is still not very well understood by the average person. Sometimes people think it means we can't hold still. But a lot of the time, the H-Hyperactivity portion is only evident in our brains. For me, for instance, I have to constantly be feeding my brain written stuff or I get very antsy and uncomfortable. (ADD no longer exists, we're all ADHD now.) It's why i developed the habit of reading encyclopedias for fun. (Yes, I really do this.)

Solas is constantly reading, or studying, or thinking.

He shows a pretty typical type of temper for an ADHDer several times. Our tempers can be hot, flaring up suddenly for seemingly unexpected reasons. He absolutely does that. Now, there's always a reason for it, but few people on the outside of us will be aware of whatever the issue is.

ADHDers can also experience incredibly fast (compared to neurotypicals) shifts in emotion. Solas does this. Especially in the after the well of sorrows/pre-breakup scene and the break up scene itself. He see-saws emotionally a lot.

He's incredibly creative. He paints (and probably draws at least a little to paint the way he does). So many neurodivergent people are incredibly creative.

Snark. Many ADHDers tend to be snarky or sarcastic because of, well, everything that usually happens to us in life. The snark and salt simply spill out of Solas. Especially on the 'make him hate you' route through the game. Or any time he's around Vivienne.

Finally, ADHDers very frequently have a deep seated drive to change the world and make it better. Stares at Solas. Yup!

3. Autistic

So, firstly, let me say that most people don't understand what autism is or what autistics look and act like.

As an autistic/ADHD person, my experience of life is completely different from a neurotypicals simply because my brain is wired differently.

Reminder that you can't see autism or ADHD. You can sometimes see common comorbids, but without a brain scan, you cannot see autism or ADHD.

I connected and empathize so heavily with Solas because he's a well written, complex character, and because I love anti-heros.

But also because he's exhibits the exact same type of autistic/ADHD traits that I have. (Both autism and ADHD come in different flavours.) Seeing that rep in a triple AAA game was an incredibly powerful experience.

Even though, given Bioware's absolutely shit rep re: disability, it had to be accidental. I credit Weekes with that rep. I read on Twitter they were recently dxd with one or the other (ADHD or Autism, I honestly can't remember which. And up to 80% of ADHDers are also autistic.)

Solas practices esoteric arts. It's a common thing for many autists & ADHDers to learn and practice arts that just aren't as common anymore. Mine? I spin with a spinning wheel, drop spindle, or Andean hand spinner. I make maps. There's several other strange hobbies and skills I've picked up along the way too.

He shows hyperfocus several times in the game. (Hyperfocus is a trait of both ADHD and Autism.)

He stims with his hands a lot. Especially in the kiss scene. I don't recall seeing any of the other characters do this. I'm not talking about the 'dry hand wash' movements most of the characters do. Solas does a thing I do, taps the tips of his fingers against each other. Whoever did his modelling (is that the right term for making a game character?) understood neurodivergency or are ND themselves. Whether they know it or not.

You could even call his painting a type of stimming.

Stimming is where someone will use repetitive motions or sounds to self-soothe. It's really bad to prevent an autistic/ADHDer from using their stims.

I used to have to have a book on my person at all times. I'm late diagnosed, so I didn't know I was using the books as both a stim and a comfort item.

Solas has something autists call 'flat face effect'. Basically, his face is a bit masklike. He doesn't show emotions strongly on his face or in his body language (unless you make him angry 😅 which is also pretty typical for many of us). I've seen rather a lot of discourse about how emotionless Solas appears. I can read him easily, the emotive cues are there, just subtle, like they would be in an autistic & or ADHD person.

He's a decent actor. Now, most autists will agree that we're not innately good at lying or acting. But we're also really good at acting, at least, many of us are by the time we're adults. It comes from having to mask (autistic masking) almost every second of every day just to survive. Masking kills us. So it's not good that we are forced to do it. But it does make many of us incredible actors.

Anthony Hopkins is argueably one of the best actors of the past several decades. He's openly autistic. And he's spoken of how he got to be a good actor. Dan Ackroyd and Darryl Hannah are a couple of others who are out about it. I code a lot of other creatives as being one or the other, but it’s considered rude to assign a diagnosis like that to a living person. That's for them to do.

Solas managed to stay hidden as a 'unwashed apostate hobo' for however long the Inquisition took to fix things. I've seen estimates of 18 months to 2 years. That's a looooong time to be acting like something you're definitely not.

We see in Trespasser that he's not like that at all. But he still sold it so well his reveal at the end of the game shocked many people.

He's a nerd. An absolute nerd about the fade. Nerdery isn't solely the domain of autistics and ADHDers, but it’s a really common trait.

He's stand-offish.

Many autists and ADHDers are rather stand-offish with people for a variety of reasons.

1) We've been hurt so many times because of people refusing to do half the work of communicating with us. (Trust me, autistics and ADHDers are trying ALL THE TIME to communicate with neurotypicals. Y'all could pick up your part of things, y'know?)

2) We've been rejected so often for a genetic condition(s) we can't change. But accommodations for us, which are usually pretty simple and often help neurotypical people too, are considered 'too much'. There's something called RSD that most, if not all, autistic and ADHD folks experience. Rejection Sensitivity Disorder is a bitch kitty and there's no dealing with it well. It hurts.

3) We're often stand-offish while we try to figure out whatever social rules exist in that space/time. We often warm up when we know (or think we know) the rules. Or once we get to know people.

4) Solas is often alone, he's rarely pictured as being with anyone else other than Cole and the Inquisitor. NDs often end up either pushed to the edge of the crowd, or we choose to stay distant as a preventative measure so we aren't rejected.

Food sensitivities: Solas utterly loathes tea. There's a whole cutscene about it. (Fun fact, Solas doesn't like tea because Weekes doesn't.) But that extreme reaction to a relatively innocuous drink is a classic example of a food sensitivity. Most autistics and ADHDers have food or texture sensitivities or both. I can't abide raw tomatoes, and I'll get the urge to cry if I touch corduroy fabric.

Sensitivities can really be anything, but if you know someone who has them, please understand we're not trying to be difficult or to ask for extra attention or to make trouble. The modern world is frankly hell for most autistics and many ADHDers. Brain scans of us when we’re exposed to our sensitivities show that they actually are causing us physical pain. Pain centres in the brain light up like a Yule tree.

Solas is quiet, until he's not. Then he'll talk your ear off. This is pretty common for many of us too.

Solas and the fade. Special interest, anyone?

Special interests: Most autistics and ADHDers have Special interests. It's something that can utterly enthrall us. We tend to want to learn everything we possibly can about the subject we're fascinated with. And we love to share that information. In something called 'infodumping' we're trying to connect with other people. It's one of the ways many of us say we care about someone. By sharing our favourite things. We're also deeply penalized for something we can't change, there, too.

We deeply enjoy the thing and want to share our enjoyment with people we like/love. This can utterly backfire on us, but it doesn't change the urge to share. Often until our audience is giving us the 'dead fish face'. It's where the person's eyes are a little glazed over and they look a bit concussed. Anyone who has ever taught a class of students or is a parent or child caretaker, or is autistic/ADHD knows the look I'm talking about.

I'll stop blabbing for now, but those are most of the reasons I heavily code Solas as autistic/ADHD/mentally ill. Or, in another word. Neurodivergent.

Thanks for reading! If you have the wherewithal I'm a disabled mom of two disabled kids and a tip would help more than you can probably understand. Another way to help is to become a patron. My work of words is my only income and we live well under the poverty line. Like a lot of other neurodivergent people do.

KoFi:

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#solas #dragon age series #solavellan #dragon age inquisition #dragon age #inquisitor lavellan #solavellan hell #solas dai #dragon age confessions #neurodivergent #actually adhd #actually autistic #actually neurodiverse #neurodiversity #autistic adult #autistic problems #autism #adult adhd #ADHD

[bluegekk0]

If anything I think you should speak more, because I love everything you write (and draw.) You've been one of my biggest inspirations to go back and give all of my ocs actual stories instead of just designs.

In fact, ever since you mentioned having non-fpk family ocs before, I have been incredibly curious.

Please feed me all of the information like a bird feeding its young, except its letters going into my eyes instead of food going into my mouth

you have no idea how much that warms my heart, i'm really flattered that you see me as an inspiration. it's all i could really ask for

i do have some ocs, yeah. though i will say, the fpk au characters are definitely outliers when it comes to the amount of personality and lore they have. most of my ocs have very basic backstories, and many of them only do because i used to roleplay as them with my friends. a lot of my original designs that i'm attached to don't even have names, let alone personalities

since i'll be posting a lot of pictures, i'll throw this under a read more so it's not too long

i guess i'll start with my oldest oc, a lion king character who used to be my "fursona" (well not exactly, since i've never considered myself a furry. but persona wouldn't fit here) years ago, back in 2012 i believe. she went through a lot of changes over the years, but i've settled on a design that i really like

her name is swahibu (used to be swahili, i wasn't particularly creative, and i changed it recently since it was a bit awkward for her to be named after the entire language hahaha), and she has a little brother named kobe. their lore isn't anything too elaborate, they're essentially scar's grandchildren who used to be outlanders, but after the events of the second movie joined the pridelands. swahibu is bitter and a bit mean, but cares very much about her little brother. she got her scars in a fight with rogue lions which unfortunately ended with their mother's death, so they're now on their own. kobe is a smart cub, and brings a bit of joy and innocence to his big sister's life. as they both resemble their grandfather more than they'd like, they're often the object of nasty comments from those who lived under his tyrannical rule, though they do eventually earn the pridelanders' respect. not much else to say about them, except that i like to hc swahibu as gay. also, they have a very simple family tree that i made to show what their parents looked like, here (might not work if you don't have a deviantart account, but i'm not sure)

--

next up, there's a character i've considered my persona for quite some time, and one i used to put in many funny scenarios with my friends' ocs. he also changed the most out of all of them throughout the years, and recently i gave him a more furry like design as i hate drawing human faces haha

his name is rick, and he's a hybrid of all kinds of different animals. he's very laid back and lazy, though the fact that he's a hybrid gives him some animal-like traits and behaviors. he used to have a backstory but it's kind of stupid so i'm considering changing it, but he was basically created in a lab and then released after it was shut down. now he lives on his own with his cat, jon. he's one of those characters who are very flexible, so if i wanted to, i could modify him to fit into any scenario (for example, he used to have an assassins creed universe version which i used for roleplay years ago hahaha). not much else to say since i'm still in the (slow) process of changing him

--

i also have a lot of dragon characters, most of them were made for the purpose of a larger roleplay story with my friends. in general i take 'dragon' as a very vague term, since to me a dragon can look however you want and all those classification rules are kinda stupid. but you'll still a bit of, idk, i guess a paleoart like direction for their designs, since i like speculative biology and such. also, some of these originated as heavily based on some of my favorite characters at the time, you'll see that with the first one especially

his name is stark and he's probably the dragon that has the most lore behind him. i won't go into too many details regarding the backstory since it's long and very connected to the roleplay (you know, bit of a "you just had to be there" moment haha). but tl;dr he was taken in by a village and raised from hatchling, so he's very docile and a little bit confused. the village was attacked and he was able to survive, but one of his legs was scarred pretty badly, so he noticeably limps while walking. he's a semi-aquatic dragon, so he's an excellent swimmer. funnily enough, he went through a complete "reboot" a few years ago. in the original rp, he was a massive asshole, he'd hurt others for his own amusement and was generally very aggressive and not pleasant to be around. also, he had a prosthetic leg, though i scrapped that as it was far too advanced for the setting i envisioned him in. i much prefer this direction, i love my giant himbo gator-dragon. and i wonder how many of you can guess what character was the inspiration for his appearance (it used to be a lot more obvious in his first design iterations)

(and no, his wing isn't missing. this is just to show his back haha)

these next three don't really have too much backstory to them. well, except for the first one, his name is ithaar, and he was one of my first ocs ever. he went through a massive redesign quite recently, so he has close to nothing in common with his first iterations. the other two characters, eurus and ash, were made for rp purposes quite recently, and so don't have too much lore behind them

ith is a bit of a coward, he struggles with his self-confidence and believes everyone sees him as insignificant due to his small size and inability to fly. he can camouflage, though, so he's a lot cooler than he thinks. also, he moves by hopping around like a little kangaroo. his design is very dromaeosaur-like, with short stubby arms and yi-qi inspired wings

eurus is very pterosaur-like, though much larger than even the largest azhdarchids. he doesn't like the company of others, he's a bit of a loner (with trauma!). he may seem mean on the surface, but his past experiences make him unable to walk past someone who's in need. not quite a gentle giant, though. i think it's easy to see which pterosaurs in particular were the inspiration for his design, though his crests are very dilophosaurus-like

the last one is ash, and she's the newest addition to the roster. her rp session was very short and didn't really add much to her lore, but she's generally a huge jerk who likes annoying others and stealing from them. but of course, it wouldn't be an oc of mine if there wasn't some trauma involved, and she's no exception. she believes she doesn't fit anywhere, she felt rejected by her own kind for her unnatural abilities (she can move things with her mind), and so she copes with it by being a prick. her design was inspired by junker queen from overwatch haha

---

i also have four night fury characters i made during my httyd phase, and i redesigned them about a year ago to be a lot more "natural" in their appearance. they used to be quite a bit more colorful back in the day, and not in the good way haha

their names are vel'ri, sherok, atis and marivo. no real backstory, just vibes. the first one used to be my "main" character during the httyd phase. vel'ri and atis are female, sherok and marivo are male

--

and lastly, some non-dragon characters. these don't really have any backstory that i think is worth sharing, but i still love them very much

this one is named rugat and they're a genderless, shapeshifting magma alien thing. i don't know what they are. i just really like their design. they're aggressive, but they have a soft spot for small, weak creatures. god knows what their reasoning is, but i thought it was a cute personality trait

and these two are named lox and bagel. they're a ragarox, an original species i made years ago when it was cool and hip to have a closed species. they're eyeless cave dwelling lizard things. very chubby. these two guys are not related but they hang out all the time. 🏳️‍🌈 perhaps?

lox, on the left, is the more active and territorial of the two. but he's also super affectionate towards bagel

bagel, on the other hand, is the couch potato. very round and chubby, 10/10

as a fun fact i like to think their long tongues have very distinct smells. lox's smells like lime, while bagel's smells a bit like blueberry

--

and lastly, here are two unnamed characters. i like their designs but i haven't had the chance or inspiration to think of any details about them

the first one is an okapi-like thing. with a kitty face. the second is like a weird mix between a ceratopsid and some kind of mammal

oh and, here's some redesigns of old dragon characters that i forgot to mention earlier. they used to be very different (all but one were inspired by other characters, but you can't see it on their current designs), and i don't have any backstories for them yet. their names are also going to be changed, so consider them nameless for now

(fun fact: the top left one was one of the first iterations of eurus' design, but i decided to turn it into a different character cause i still like it)

#ask stuff #gekko.art #my ocs

[sadruru]

In-character character development questions for Melissa!

🔮 CRYSTAL BALL — what is a core memory from your childhood that you think defines you today?

😶‍🌫️ FACE IN CLOUDS — is there something you're hiding from the people you love? if so, how urgent is it for them to hear it? what's holding you back from sharing it?

Thanks for the questions! I've already decided how I'm going to answer them, it's going to be a bit experimental 😈

Melissa will personally answer questions. Expect a cameo ~

😶‍🌫️ FACE IN CLOUDS — is there something you're hiding from the people you love? if so, how urgent is it for them to hear it? what's holding you back from sharing it?

"Well, well... All right! It's a miracle you could convince me, and I'll repay you for the drink and song. I don't like to stay in debt. First of all, let me say I'm not a very good storyteller, and my stories aren't very sweet. You won't be in Drezen for long, right? I doubt I'll see you again in the future. If I started telling my story, believe me, it would take a few nights. Hold on, what do you mean calling you by your name, sugar-voiced Lark? I won't, because it's more interesting!

…I hide a lot of things from those closest to me. If I have any. I often hear from others that I change topics too easily, especially from one restless boy. I've never liked looking into the future, because you never know what will happen tomorrow. On one hand, it sounds a little scary... Maybe one day I'll tell them, and him too.

I had too much shit behind me. So much that I should shut up. I don't think you'd believe me the first time.

You know, I used to not really care about this Crusade or the people around me. You should have seen how everyone reacted to me at first. The obscure bandit turned knight-commander, the tiefling, who looked like “ a succubus” or “ a whore”. Or whatever those "noble" paladins and knights called me for my looks and temper. Never mind. I've been called worse in the River Kingdoms. But now I see that they look at me with hope, despite what I do... It gives me a bitter taste in my mouth. I don't... I don't want to seem weak to everyone. It's really annoying.

Hmm… Did you see the adorable little elf with the burns? Ember. Sometimes she draws a crowd of onlookers. Her eyes, words and actions... When that girl looks at me, it's like she sees right through me. These moments make me feel pretty… Vulnerable? Oh, no. Too many bad thoughts in my head again. Now you owe me another pint!"

🔮 CRYSTAL BALL — what is a core memory from your childhood that you think defines you today?

"Ah, come on! Another tough question again? I really don't know! I had a lot of good and bad moments.

I don't know about you, little Lark, but my childhood ended quickly and darkly. I'll tell you about the good one. When I was five years old, I saw my dad carving something for me. It wasn't just another wooden toy, and he didn't say what it was. To be honest, I wanted a dragon toy so bad! I begged him long and impatiently until he finally finished and hung a simple amulet around my neck. The amulet bore the symbol of Cayden Cailean. Then he said to me, "Be brave, strong, and believe in good as always, Lissa. I can feel the spirit of adventure in you. Perhaps in the future you will continue our family business, or travel to other countries. That's your choice."

My first piece of jewelry... Ha ha! After that, I pounced on my mom's stuff and started imagining myself as a rich lady in a dress, with lots of gold rings and precious bling. I dreamed of getting rich, making our tavern bigger, buying a big house near the sea, with lots of servants and cats, maybe even finding a handsome husband and living happily ever after! Uh... My parents scolded me severely for making such a mess.

Believe in good, right? And foolish childish dreams... As you see, something went wrong."

Why little Lark? Because Siavash is half elf and taller than her 🤣

I hope I portrayed her character well. I don't know about the second question. Many memories in her childhood defined her. So I decided to show one of them - about her childhood dream of a good ending.

How it ended: Fluffy steals meat from hand.

Better not look at what's going on in the background. I just like to draw funny sketches in the background. I wonder if people recognize their kids? Hehehe...

#ask meme #wotr commander #pathfinder wotr #pathfinder wrath of the righteous #melissa #pathfinder: wrath of the righteous #oc #A little cameo of some of the characters #I have a headcanon that the commanders of my acquaintances and friends are somewhere living their lives quietly in my version of the story #That sounds pretty interesting and nice ✨🧪🐉🦋

[tiredsmashbros]

something a bit more personal so heads up

some tomm/tsb (me) lore: i've been a big fan of dragon ball since 2019, was actually a dragonball fanartist for two years straight (was my previous heavy fixation until i caved into mario). i'm also a big fan of matpat / gametheory since ofc 2014 due to fnaf and got back to frequently watching him around 2021.

both HUGE impacts that idk where i would be without them ever interfering my already heck of an enigma life. worse part is the fact i have to say goodbye to them both JUST a day apart. yes mat isn't deceased but the thought of not seeing him as much anymore after JUST getting to watch him again is straight-up heartbreaking. i would still watch and am already fond of the existing crew and 100% approve his retirement reasons. yet it all has been tearing me apart personally. it hurts. a lot. its sad. very sad. but in the end: i'm happy. i'm happy for the memories, experiences, and growth i received with them that i was able to receive in my life. both young and now as an adult.

watching. playing, drawing, and talking about how goku and his friends will get through the next challenge. it's made me love friendship adventure stories so much more, anxiously waiting for the next episode of super every saturday night on toonami. impacting me to become more optimistic and not to be afraid to draw what i really love (fanart). matpat encouraged me to think inside AND outside the box, to question reality and fiction, open to criticism and theorizing in a more bigger picture. wether serious, comedically, or satire, it wasn't just learning about the world or inner depictions of video games, food, or how to style ourselves; but for fun and loving those around you. appreciating the moment and learning at the same time. someone i could genuinely relate to and open my heart back up to older franchises such as mario, learning the film industry as i always wanted to, learn to appreciate food and get out of my comfort zone, and ofc be more knowledgeable of what i wear and how it can impact me. i could seriously just keeping going on and on.

idk how to end this other than by saying thank you. thank you toriyama. thank you matpat. never was it in my bingo card of 2024, but nothing is going to stop me from continuing to love and appreciate the things these two amazing individuals brought into the world, impacting so many lives. 💚❤️💛💙 + 🐉💥

#matpat #matthew patrick #game theory #akira toriyama #rip toriyama #rest in peace toriyama #thank you toriyama #thank you matpat #dragon ball #sketches #personal #goodbye #thank you

[chipper-asks]

Hi! I've been following you for a good while now and have always rly admired the community you've build, and, your art itself, obviously, it's always very cozy in here. May be a strange question, but as a relatively popular artist on the interned, are there any tips you could share on how to engage and sustain an audience? maybe you know some recourses for artist to get their art seen? I've been an artist posting online for roughly 10 yrs and pretty much failed at accumulating any sort of prominent presence. I don't feel bad about it really, it's not why I do art per say, but these are pretty rough times and unfortunately other means of art monetization grow thinner with stupid updates & algorithms forcing anyone who can't afford payed adds or subscriptions out of business. I kinda have to make use of social media, even if it's not my element in the slightest. Feel free not to answer if you feel like it. Thanks in advance! Also big thanks for your shouts of my art overall, I really appreciate your support!

So I've had a post in my drafts for who knows how long detailing how to build and curate your audience online. But I haven't found a good way to go about posting it because I didn't want it to come off as tooting my own horn xD

BUT YOU HAVE ENABLED ME SO HERE WE GO!!!

(im going to generalize, you may already be doing some of these things but I think its good info for anyone who wants to build an online presence)

1. Engaging your audience

A: First, you have to think of the platform you're sharing your art on and what people use it for. Not even tumblr, but the internet as a whole. It is a place where people form communities and share information. It's also one of the most popular ways to mentally escape; from school, boredom, to the horrors of real life.

So if you want people to find you, make a space where they can escape/feel community.

This means: No callout posting, no venting, no doom posting, no politics, no guilt posting, no anything that would make you unfollow someone else if you were having a bad day.

It's okay to have an occasional vent or political post cause we're human, but trauma dumping is something thats very hard for someone else to read and honestly should you be putting that kind of information online, the internet is a place of community but it also isnt safe.

B: The Value of Fandoms

It's time for some metrics, featuring my own follower count.

I've been on tumblr for 9 years and I have been making an effort to grow my base as a way of getting money as a freelancer (like you) so I started doing this allll the way back in highschool. I can remember each milestone and which fandom I got them in

1,000 I got when I was posting stuff for Undertale

2,000 I got when I was posting stuff for The Property of Hate

there was a big break between these milestones where I was just drawing ocs and object heads and stuff, but nothing I was hyperfixated on

5,000 I got from Hollow Knight

but then something really unexpected happened.

In late 2021 and early 2022 I decided cringe was a worthless social construct and decided to fully indulge in my enjoyment of doodling dragons.

I juuust inched past 5,000 when 2022 started. I Ended Up With 12,000 as 2022 ended. That's more than double. As of posting this I am at 13,600 and its only February.

So how did that happen? I could tout along and say that it was simply luck and I wasn't really making an effort anyway but that's a big fuckin lie, i've been "selling out" this whole time (it's not fucking selling out to post in fandom. You like a thing? You go to the thing's community and post about the thing)

Posting in a fandom is essentially like, now bear with me, advertising for your blog. Fandom is where the eyes are and where the traffic goes. Big tags like #artistsontumblr #tumblrart #art are used OFTEN but they're too general and often people look for things that are specific. Fandoms like Hollow Knight, BNHA, Mob Psycho, The Owl House, etc are currently popping off and have a lot of traffic.

This doesn't necessarily mean that you need to join a popular fandom to post your work in to get followers, it just means that if you're into a show or a media, post it on your main art blog and don't make side blogs. Keep it all together

Why?

Because 5% of those fandom people stick around for YOUR STUFF and those 5% of people are the best goddamn people in the world. You want those 5% to see EVERYTHING you do and THEY'RE the ones who will recommend you to THEIR friends and do outreach on your behalf because they like YOU and not YOUR STUFF.

i fuckin love those guys

So as you hop from fandom to fandom, you're going to lose some people but that's fine. Everyone curates their experience online and if you head off in a direction they don't like then they can deal with it. The rest come along for the ride cause 1: they either really like your stuff or 2: are into the new thing you're getting into.

SO ANYWAY

posting in fandoms under one name is GOOD because it puts everyone in the same bucket that will see your stuff and there's a chance that a few will stick just for your stuff. It is not cheap, its how you reach out to people to help cheer up their day and escape from things stressing them out.

C: What should you post?

So this is something that isn't an exact science but if you're looking to increase your follower count, this is something you can keep in mind.

Because this is the internet and the digital word of escaping from stress, people flock to things that are

1: Familiar 2: Funny 3: Relatable

So i've already been over fandoms and that's something that goes into the Familiar category. Familiar can also mean generalized but still popular concepts, like werewolves, dragons, vampires, apocalyptic scenarios, etc.

The more you trail into something niche, like marine biology, the seelie/unseelie courts, object heads, etc, the less traffic you'll find. There are communities centered around these but they're not massive like certain fandoms.

Which is how you end up with artists who spend hours upon hours on every piece only getting like 14 - 32 notes per piece. It's not lack of people caring or lack of interest, its the fact that these artists haven't "advertised" their blogs in fandom. Those people who end up caring about more personal posts are those 5% you find from fandom spaces. Their Familiar from that fandom begins to include your artwork as Familiar and thus they're more likely to share it.

Funny is simple. Tumblr is a platform of shitposts and memes. Do you have a favorite character in a fandom? Shitpost them. 2 birds with one stone, Familiar and Funny. I can't teach you how to be funny, but if you see something that makes you laugh online, pause and try to find out why and see if you can replicate it. (You wont get it in one go)

Relate-ability is also simple. If someone finds something they can easily associate with they will eagerly tag #mood #me or @ one of their friends in the post.

What doesn't get people following just by itself is your skill.

This sounds really fucking depressing but hear me out.

Your skill in art is a multiplier. It can take those three categories from above and BOOST IT to fantastic new heights. People love things that are from their fandoms that are funny and relate-able. People go FERAL for shit that is from their fandoms that are funny, relate-able AND COOL AS FUCK. If art represented x5 in an equation and you have nothing else, you get 0. If you include any of those three other things and then x5, you get something grand.

2. Sustaining your Audience.

If you want to set up your blog as a platform to eventually gain freelance income from, you need to make it yours and not your audience's.

This is key to prevent burnout and feeling obligation to create for thousands of featureless faces and losing sight of what made you enjoy art in the first place.

It is REALLY EASY to fall into that pit, especially as you grow your audience. When you have a small audience, it's easier to interact one on one with someone. Engagement is exciting when you have a small audience! People? Interested in your work!! Fuck yeah!!

But as you reach those milestones, the vibe begins to change. More and more people demand your attention. People who are new don't see you as an artist they knew from another fandom, they see you as a content creator and that is the worst goddamn stone wheel to get stuck around your neck.

You can still respond to requests and answer silly questions, but now you have to keep in mind that if you draw this little dragon for someone, three other people are going to ask for their own little dragons. And that's fine because you love dragons and they asked so nicely. You make those dragons but now there's seven people asking for their own dragons and you actually want to work on something other than dragons-- but you made those dragon doodles for those other people so wouldn't it be hypocritical to say no-

It becomes a spiral.

So to prevent that situation from happening, you need to respect your boundaries as an artist and what you will do and what you will draw the line at. If someone doesn't like you for that, they can unfollow.

In terms of posting regularly to sustain your audience, i've found that it helps but ultimately doesn't matter.

(this is a tumblr centric view, i cannot say the same for other platforms)

The way tumblr works resembles a massive recycling facility. You will see shit on your dash from 7 years ago but you dont mind, its how this place works.

It doesn't matter how often you post. You won't lose priority on people's dashboards if you don't make your daily art post. What matters is that you just make the post.

Each post you make is like sending out a bucket of chum into the grand ocean of tumblr. The more buckets of chum you have, the more likely you are to attract fish. The more you post the larger your radius is. The more variety you make in spreading out to different fandoms the wider your range is. And these spots of chum don't go away! They're permanent brown spots in a big blue wasteland and fish will stumble across it and then try to find the source.

Basically, you can disappear for an entire month and then suddenly return out of nowhere and shove 57 posts into a week and then disappear again and people will show up and stick around.

THis post is getting really long and there are probably some things im missing but my hadns are getting achy and i think that's my call to stop :p

if you have anymore questions tho im very willing to answer 👍

#asks #long post #nofandom

[dyrewrites]

WiP Questionnaire

Tagged by @winglesswriter (hello new fren!) here

I am taggin @rowanmgrey-author and YOU

--Big Post Coming Through--

Answering for "Before Deluca"

What was the first part of your WIP that you created?

->This<- which became the introduction/beginning of the first chapter. Most of it was wildly altered...but it's why I have a 130k words of novel now.

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

It's not much for a theme song, but for some reason my brain says this one;

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

Lucient is the favorite of this WiP, it should be Ludovico/Deluca (who is telling the story) but it's not. I love him too but Lucient's just so much fun to write and more complex than he initially seems. Also he's bratty but loving and earnest and just...he just wants this man, ok. Forever, only him. And I love it.

What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

Honestly, no idea. My brain cannot wrap around the idea of a fan base for anything I've done. Just does not compute.

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Getting the two main characters to stop making me write sex scenes. I kid (it's a problem I don't really mind) but the biggest struggle has been the real world setting and how much of it I want to replace with the magic I've injected into it. Historical fantasy is one thing, but it's more Alternate Earth at this point and my brain gets angry when it has to conform to rules it didn't create.

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Unfortunately not. They wouldn't be safe around the main cast. There are vampire who behave like animals, and by that I mean they wholeheartedly believe they are dogs due to abuse and mind-control and it isn't pretty. So...no animals, I am sorry. At least not yet, there may be a cat at some point (I tend to put them in everything).

How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

A great big ol' sailing ship that begins with the name La Lune Royale but gets another one later. She is very beeg and covered in magic. When landbound, they use carriages, coaches, a train here soon, and eventually a car (maybe, I dunno if either of them should be trusted with such a thing).

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

The time-skip that takes them through the rest of their first century together and into their second (and final). So...halfway point? You will recall the 130k I mentioned at the top, yes? Help me.

What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

The vampires probably, and the romance, and maybe the magic? I dunno. It gets weird and doesn't seem to follow some of the tropes expected of this genre...I write weird vampires.

What are your hopes for your WIP?

To have it done by the end of the year would be neat, like done done, published and all.

->blank questions under cut<-

What was the first part of your WIP that you created?

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

What are your hopes for your WIP?

#writeblr #writing rambles #tag games #wip questionnaire #before deluca #seriously i am halfway #this is going to be hell to revise #Spotify

[0wl3tt3]

Reflection on my practice (for future me)

Hello, so I wanted to do write what has been my practice so far for future me to read and reflect, I discover a lot for myself, so this might be long so please sit and relax.

Catholicism

I grew up Roman Catholic for most of my life, living and breathing on those values, going to Catholic school and going to church but it doesn't really have an affect for me, I didn't feel connected to Catholicism, so I was semi atheist (I didn't know that Agnostic exist) for most of my early teenage years until I was in grade 10, where I was kinda chilling in class, I wasn't interested with the subject so I just pulled out my phone and thought it would be fun to search on tumblr about witchcraft and it really interested me. Everything about it looked fun and maybe I wanted to dipped my toes in the water. Later on I created an account specifically for that! I enjoyed it as a newbie liking the vibes and looked to find Paganism

Kemeticism

Anyone who followed 15-16 year old me will remember I was a Kemetic pagan, I worshipped Anubis and Ra (Along with Heru-Sa-Aset) but I was close to Anubis, I prayed to him after my dog died which did started my path to paganism where I now just denounce myself silently as a Catholic. I prayed and gave him offerings that I have access to and just let him guide me to cope. I started being open to my practice to my friends as well which they all really support! I never said anything to my family knowing what they believe was that I'm just catholic.

I really do thank Anubis and the gods I did pray for those hardships of my own mistakes and leading me to comfort even when I'm arrogant. It inspired me to admire history more that I ever did, I wanted to read more about old religions, I wanted to just eat every single information I can find tiring to be the best version of what I should do and value.

Hellenism and Athena

I've already told this but I wasn't Kemetic pagan anymore now, I adored Anubis but it felt like my time of mourning had passed and it felt like I might have to part my ways with Kemeticism. Its a beautiful religion and the people there are lovely! but I just don't follow it as a follower anymore and I was called to Hellenism.

I wasn't gonna lie and say Hellenism didn't intimidate me, it did, I knew to never take the myths literally for me to not act dumb but there were a lot of things I had to learn now that I wasn't following Kemeticism. I wasn't sure who to look, well, for a bit until I settled with Athena which makes sense.

Listen, I am a girl that loved the greek monsters, dragons, drawing, and war history, of course I'm gonna pray to Athena!

I felt like she was the goddess for me and later became the kinda the only goddess I prayed for when it comes to tests and being strong. Sometimes I don't do prayers because of school and my own laziness, I'm happy that she's patient with me and a tarot reading by a friend, where I asked "What's Athena thinking about me? I haven't done much for her..." "Talk to me more! and stop procrastinating!"

Is just... I STILL THINK ABOUT IT LIKE OH SWEET GODDESS THANK YOU BUT ALSO DON'T CALL ME OUT😭😭😭😭/j

But I really do thank her for that, it's just so sweet for me to know she is around even when I'm not always acknowledging her.

Now and future

I think one, buy a fucking tarot deck for myself and just talk more, sometimes when no one is around I just talk out of no where to her which I see as my baby steps to coming back since last and the early months I was pretty dry on my worship and practice. This summer I hope I can read history books and just talk about it to her, start doing divination and do something about that rain water from one year ago lmao.

I think this year will be witchy and pagan for me! I'm excited for shenanigans to ensue with my irl witch friends!

And I will say it again, thank you to the deities I worshipped before and now for guiding me to where I am now, no matter how chaotic it is, you're there for me.

So for future me, let's do this!!!!!

#athena deity #lady athena #athena devotee #athena devotion #pagan #paganism #paganblr #witch #witchcraft #witchblr #hellenism #hellenic pagan #hellenic polytheism #hellenic paganism #erin's little witch adventures #erin's pagan diary #erin's stuff

[sipsteainanxiety]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

i was tagged by @coopigeoncoo @andypantsx3 @willowser and @namodawrites to do this lil self fic rec game and after finally sitting down to think about it for a very... long... time... i have done it! thank you all for the tag i kiss you each on the forehead and give you a bowl of sliced fruit<3

after looking at all the wips i have in docs right now, i can definitely say that this list would be completely different if i had finished a few of them, but for now this is my ranked list for things i've published already lol

devil's glare — demon!bkg x reader

bakugou katsuki is a powerful demon that you have the pleasure of dating. but when he pisses you off one day, you decide to get back at him in a pretty petty way: drawing a salt circle around you to force him to apologize 

i had THEE most fun writing this one shot LMAO. it was based on a tiktok of all things that i'd found back when i was still on the app pfft. i just loved the idea of bkg being all surly and aggravated that his little human had purposely drawn a salt circle to prevent him from encroaching on their space. and like... him dealing with wanting to idk kiss you so bad but you're trying to teach him a lesson and he's sooooo mad and fuck, he's gonna do whatever he can to get you to comply to him lmao. if i could draw, there's this one scene where you're wearing this like. cute little set of pjs staring up at this big ass demon, wings unfurled threateningly, snarl on his face, arms crossed with a line of salt in between the two of you. like i have a vision. too bad i can't draw it LMFAOO. maybe one day

2. holding out (just for you) — dragon!bkg x reader

in which you find a horrendously injured dragon in a cave and make it your duty to heal him, not knowing that he’s the infamous dragonshifter, bakugo katsuki, who has been cursed to remain trapped in his dragon form forever—unless the spell is broken

this fic... oh boy. i've been working on this fic since mmm 2021 i think? i can't believe it's been a year since the big bang LMFAOO. i also can't blv this shit evolved from being a standalone to having 3 spinoffs and a sequel but well. here we are. complaints aside i really do have fun writing this fic!! i dunno!! i dont think i'd ever read a dragon bkg fic before and i was like fine i'll do it myself and this happened. i added way too much plot and you guys don't even know about half the worldbuilding and shit i have planned for the sequel HAHA. i can't even talk about it bc it would be major spoilers rn rhrsfjhrjfrjrhjg. it's also been giving me such a rough time lately pfft, especially with having to make sure everything lines up for the spinoffs n stuff. im so afraid of publishing ch4 and having to go back and tweak things bc i havent planned out far enough sdkjfsjkdf. i think it just means i'm gonna have to go on a hiatus or smthn and write out all the spinoffs + ch4 at once idk

3. and i give my all (to you) — merman!bkg x reader

you think you bit off more than you could chew when you decided to do your dissertation on ocean acidification, leaving you stranded out in the open ocean. alone. for months. well… maybe you weren’t so alone after all

this is another fic that i've been working on way longer than it's been posted for pfft. i can't blv the first chapter was released over a year ago LMAOOO i am so sorry. i do like this fic tho bc it's one of the easier ones to write and i go back to it sometimes between writing for dragon bkg lol. like i have the chapters all mapped out, all i have to do is sit down and write em. ch2's at abt 3k rn tho and i hit a spot where i'm like oof i dont wanna write these descriptions dfhdkfg it's just a silly goofy story with merbaku and dealing with some of the subtle intricacies of getting to know a mermaid. actually, fun fact, this originally started off as a fic for jotaro from jjba, back when i was in my jjba era. but then i went back to my bkg era and switched it over. i didn't even have to change much LMFAOO jotaro and bkg act the same sometimes. also!! this is the first fic where i'm like... drawing little doodles for each chapter!! and it's so nice but also i'm like damn wtf do i draw for the rest of these chapters.... i'll figure it out ig

4. loving all the parts of you — pro hero!bkg x reader

in which you learn to love all the prickly parts that make up bakugou katsuki

i.. don't think i've thought about this fic for a very, very long time. but i just scrolled thru the masterlist and stuff and i... really liked writing it (when i was focused on it anyways). it's one of my gentler fics tbh. it's more of a character study of bkg, exploring a different aspect of him in each chapter. tbh i need to go through and reread it and make edits so it can better match the writing style i have now, but i rly liked thinking abt what would make bkg tick as a pro and as a person. and tbh, with what i know now of the manga and anime i think i could go very deep with it pfft. also the banner i made for this fic is so cute LOL. it's not high on my priority list rn bc i have other things i wanna work on, but i do hope to return to it one day.

5. forget me not — pro hero!bkg x reader

When you first woke up, you found yourself in a white room, lights blinding you from all directions. A bit disoriented, you squinted and looked around, realizing you were chained to a chair, your arms locked behind you. In front of you was a poster of a man, muscles rippling throughout his body, a spiky mess of ash blond hair nestled on his head, and striking crimson eyes glaring right at you from behind a black mask. In the upper right corner was the name “DYNAMIGHT” in black and orange letters. As you observed the poster, the sound of a P.A. system suddenly rang into existence, the deep, hoarse voice of an unknown person echoing around you. “Your name is [Name] [Surname],” the voice said without emotion, “and you hate the man named Bakugou Katsuki.”

THIS FIC... THIS FCKIN FIC. i have so much i can say about this fic and i am so sorry for the oncoming ramble pfft. firstly, it's both my baby and my number one fucking enemy. like, holy shit i think it gave me the most paralyzing anxiety and bc of this it took me like 3-4 years to finish (apart from being generally busy of course). i started it literally while i was in high school n applying to college, so of course there are aspects of it that i look at now and i'm like mmm don't like that. not to mention there have been so many things that happened in the anime/manga that i wasn't able to add or delve deeper into!! like the war!! bkg's fcking trauma!! midoriya's quirks!! i was an anime only when i first started releasing chapters (and i still am), so i didnt know about the endeavor agency arc or anything so i defaulted to shit with best jeanist and idkidk.

if i could rewrite all of fmn, i think i would. or maybe not all, but a good chunk of it. like i'd condense the first few chapters probably. i also have a different grasp of bkg's characterization now compared to when i was younger lmao. putting bkg in that specific circumstance (iykyk, i wont spoil it) only happened bc of certain outside factors that forced him into that position. which was how i was able to justify it. but... idk. IDK!! this fic had so many things to it that i was not knowledgeable about so i winged a lot of things without doing proper research (i.e. hospitals, police investigations, general bureaucracy and whatnot) and i feel like this has caused certain plot holes that i am not able to detect, but like.... it's been so long already that i'm too lazy to fix it.

i just really wanted to write about having amnesia but... still having this muscle memory and ache of the person you were in love with. that you can fall in love with them all over again. but, jeez, i put the reader through so much that there's so much... trauma and brainwashing and just rhhrhjrkhrhgrkjg. she's a mess and a half!! and this makes it so difficult to read fmn bc she's so frustrating!! but! at the same time idk it was interesting exploring that kind of ptsd and recovery. i think at my core i love writing about truly heartwrenching topics and horror. i rmb i had the most fun writing about reader's nightmares or that one chapter where she was messing around with illusions. actually- one of the things i would change is the reader's fckin quirk and hero name LMAOOOOO what the fuck i made her so op i basically just smashed together dr strange's and wanda's powers for her pfft. i'd also tweak her personality a little, i think.

i digress. anyways. im in the process of editing all of fmn (just like. writing tweaks. changing the phrasing of certain sentences. adding more fluff to descriptions) and i can really see how much my style has evolved lol. like, i am the most happy and proud of the later chapters, where you can really feel certain emotions with bkg and reader. like... the beach scene, or the stakeout scene, or the party scene!! i think i would also add more substance to the investigation and how being a hero is like post-war. the antagonists as well!! there's just so much that could've been built on, but at the same time... i didn't want to go too deep into it bc i was writing an amnesia recovery story.

flaming aside, i am very glad i was able to pull those plot twists successfully LOL. i loved reading people's theories back when i was still updating it, seeing them question things and being like wait a minute... no way... it can't be... it was an era i will never forget pfft. but... because of that expectation i think i was very nervous to reveal specific things or even write the ending bc i didn't know if people would be satisfied lol. fmn was so complicated and for what sdfkjhs. fanfic shouldnt make you this anxious fr and yet there i was. i'm glad im done with it, but at the same time.. i do miss it.

tldr: fmn is the fic that i am the most proud of but also the most insecure LMFAOO. i do eventually want to get to the extra chapters from bkg's pov for it but... idk. i don't wanna even look at it right now sdhfskdfjsf

thank u all for coming to my ted talk B) i'm sorry if u've been tagged alr in this but here we go anyways!! no pressure tags: @earthtooz @call-me-ko @thecatduet422 @boo-kugo @theloveinc <3

#jeez that fmn ramble rly is long but it is what it is #i could go on even more about it ngl #but i wont sdkhksdf #gamer girling w shay