#I went to find the ONE person who genuinely wanted to understand my POV

[jamiesfootball]

What are your thoughts on Ted? Is it good he went home?

These are two separate answers but I'm gonna try to combine them into one thought bubble (bear with me).

My short answer regarding Ted's ending is that you can't create a fully fleshed out character for 2-3 seasons and then in the final hour decide he was Mary Poppins all along. The Mary Poppins is meant to be strange, not-quite of normal ilk. She's the static character who leads the change in others, the one who inspires. You don't usually see the inner thoughts and workings of a static character.

From the very first time the audience meets Ted, we understand that this is not a static character because he is literally one of our starting POVs. We see his uncertainty about flying across the globe to go teach a sport he doesn't understand. We see him turning to Beard for reassurance. We see him stick his hand out where it isn't wanted while he tries to find common ground with people in a new country. We see the beginnings of a panic attack at the press conference.

That is is episode one. He is not a static character. He is not a strange and unusual person impossible to understand. He is inspiring, yes, but that is because of his humanity- his kindness.

He is not a Mary Poppins.

Ted is at his most interesting when he is a complicated, struggling, but ultimately kind man who tries his best to show genuine empathy and compassion towards others. The fact that this same trait doubles as a flaw is equally intriguing.

Ted can reassure Sam that Jamie won't be coming back, or Ted can reach out to Jamie when he's struggling and ask him to come back. Both are acts of kindness. He can not do both.

Ted can show Rebecca empathy and understanding for her trying to sabotage Richmond, but it ties his hands on being honest to Jamie about why he was sent away in the first place.

In trying to balance kindness, Ted struggles to be direct. He struggles to come right out and tell people how he's feeling about situations. Despite encouraging other people to talk about their feelings, he dances around his own and avoids awkward confrontations. I think that is the flaw that Ted most needed to explore. At the same time, I hesitate to say he could have learned too much given how he was struggling to process his own trauma with his dad and how it effected his relationships with those around him. (Put a pin here, I'll be back for it in a later.)

Pivoting back to Ted's purpose in the narrative, unfortunately as the show ran through season three, it became too near-sighted on The Message and in turn lost sight of making sure the characters had fulfilling interactions with each other. This especially becomes apparent when it comes to Ted, whose motto in season one is 'be curious not judgemental.' I maintain that season three was a low point for Ted emotionally, and if I were to assign a reason in-universe as to why Ted seemed so off from his usual self, it would be that in his depression, he no longer had the energy to realize he wasn't being curious. One indication of this would be how many times Ted casts assumptions on people in season three, compared to his hey-do-you-think conversational openers from earlier seasons. Some examples would include:

-never trying to figure out what makes Zava tick (this is a big one to me. I think season one Ted would have been all over trying to crack Zava like a nut)

-assuming he already knows why Jamie is upset about Zava joining the team and brushing it off

-assuming that Dr Jacob would propose + assuming that Michelle would say yes instead of trying to ferret out whether

-his assumptions about Henry being bullied (the knee-jerk reaction as a parent to protect your kid is understandable, the lack of delving into the situation and why it happened are more what I mean here)

-his whole conversation with Jamie about his dad. Other people in more succinct words have pointed out how it feels like he fully projected what he needed to hear onto Jamie's situation, and I think that's fairly accurate. This was not a 'talk to me and tell me what's going on so I can better understand how i need to help you' conversation. This was a 'oh that's whats going on? how about you do this? that work? alright then' talk.

So the finale struts back around and Ted has made a decision. He's going home. And it's meant to feel like closure. They play the Cat Stevens song and it's supposed to feel like Ted has finally made a step in the right direction (which is certainly one take on those lyrics but I digress). He's going back home. He's going to be with his son. He's letting go of the damage his father leaving did to him. He's giving up on something and he's finally okay with that. He left Richmond better than he found it and that's what matters.

Everyone else can cry but he's not crying. He's finally with Henry again.

So here's my two cents. And this is definitely just my opinion but-

THAT'S FUCKING STUPID.

Because the only way that Henry OR Richmond exists is in a false dichotomy wherein the two cannot possibly coincide, despite the fact that there are MANY KIDS' SHOWS ABOUT CHILDREN MOVING TO NEW LOCATIONS EVEN NEW COUNTRIES because that is a NORMAL THING THAT HAPPENS IN THE NORMAL WORLD ALL THE TIME.

Like holy shit that is. That is just the plot of a Disney channel show. 'My dad the football coach moved to england to coach the other football.' That is just the plot of a Disney channel original movie with a $300 budget that magically gets a sequel. Is that what I'm supposed to say 'oh no, that could never happen' over? Because I"m already watching a TV show. You can put a show in another show- I'm fine with that.

Remember that pin above? Time to pull it out. Because you know what would have been a more narratively satisfying conclusion?

If Ted had actually asked Henry and Michelle if they'd liked to move to London to be closer to him. If he had actually expressed his fucking need to have both his Kansas family and his Richmond family close to him. Maybe they would have said no, maybe they would have said yes, but you know what? It would have at least opened the door to the discussion about what Ted might need as a person moving forward, whichever way the chips fell. At least he would have done the one thing we didn't see him do all show:

Ask for something for himself. Because he wants it. Not for the good of his family, or the team, or anyone else. Just for Ted.

I am not saying his son isn't the most important thing in his life. I am saying as a goddamn adult person, you can NOT mold your life around your kids. You can't. Full stop. It is not healthy. You put your kid's needs above your own, but as a parent your needs have to come second. You have to take care of your own emotional health so that you have the bandwidth to give them support. You have to set the example of what healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself looks like.

Could Ted make new social connections back in Kansas? Well that's the thing isn't it- season one Ted could have. Easily. Season three Ted? The one who's checked out and looks tired all the time and isn't even following his own motto anymore and didn't even cry like he'd miss his friends when he was leaving? I'm not sure about that Ted. I'm worried about that Ted. I'm worried he's going to put himself in a situation where for the next 9 years of his life his only priority is going to be keeping Henry happy by giving Henry the attention he never got from his own father. And after that? Henry's an adult. Henry has to go live his own life.

And Henry's going to be able to tell, by the way, if his dad is struggling. Whatever Ted's emotional health is like, Henry is going to pick up on it. This isn't a one way road. Kids notice.

Ted untangled himself enough to admit that what he wants is to be close to Henry. I commend that. But then he decided that there was only one way to do that, and he didn't look any further than that. The narrative didn't look any further than that. For a show that itself raises the topic of mental health, it feels tone-deaf to pretend that Ted moving away from his entire support group is a happy ending. He doesn't even have Beard!

So to summarize: what do I think about Ted? I think he's a fascinating character. I think he has a genuine kindness to him that is rare. I think he is flawed, and a little bent up on the inside, and he's got a lot of issues to work through. And I think the show did him a disservice by painting him going back to Kansas as a sign that everything was going to be okay.

#that's my very long take! #sorry! #and yes i am a 'how dare the found family break up at the end' type of person #but I can usually give props to canon if they at least made the reasons satisfying #lotr for example gets a pass on this #here tho? not satisfied #love ted; not satisfied with where we left him #would've preferred to run him through the washer a few times and see what happens #ted lasso #ted lasso meta #complaining about the finale #adding this to my 'i guess i'll fix it myself' pile #i am so sorry anon i just looked back at your ask and it was just two innocuous questions #and i busted out the capslock #mea culpa

[majycka]

Hello!! I just wanna drop by and say i enjoyed your Utahime thoughts! And i wanna share s couple of my cents if that's alright? Here we gooo

So I'll start by saying that i have nothing against anyone that ships gjhm, that's the beauty of fandom and aus and stories. however, i have tried to see the appeal in a realistically speaking sense within the context of the actual story and i just cannot. for the life of me. Like it's pretty evident that Utahime does not like Gojo, and that he's very disrespectful towards her, however, there is the trust they share because of their roles as teachers and their ideology. it's not that Utahime is an unreasonable person that would turn down an offer that would put her students in harms way right? but the thing is, I don't think the story ever set up any sublots for them to like each other you know? And I don't wanna be a killjoy when i say this altho i probably am, but rather that it's just not something author has envisioned for them?

i do think Gojo likes Utahime, but just not in a romantic sense, and this sort of dynamic is really reminiscent of that i would find in siblings, where one is endlessly annoying and the other wants to strangle the younger. i think if the story went the other way instead of the one it went now, Utahime and Gojo should cooperate and be understanding of one another as in good colleagues/friends? but given how Utahime was written and her limited appears in the story, luckluster and underwhelming sometimes, it's nearly impossible, and it's mostly on gege because all these characters have so much potential yet he only utilizes them as plot devices, in short it's not about the characters unfortunately.

and frankly i can't blame people for creating aus, in fact go ahead, it's what makes shipping so great! like i love to ship gojo too, mostly with geto or sometimes shoko heck i even like to pair him with ocs or readers too! but idk why i just can't picture him and Utahime ever being in a relationship at least within the story like context. again i don't wanna undermine anyone who loves this ship, i am all supporting but i just wanted to get out how i see it. Hope this wasn't confusing!

I see what you're coming from, Anon! People have varying preferences/opinions, and that's the beauty of it! I know Gege wouldn't draw out a romance plot line because he stated he ONLY sees it for mutamiwa. I can be delusional with gjhm BUT realistically, I’d never trust Gege EVER to handle a romance plot line cuz it will probably end tragically lol.

Imma try to speak from gojohime pov and give some insight why I personally love the ship.

I think the gjhm fans that I've seen doesn't ship them just because its ability to be canon but instead the dynamic that gjhm offers. Like you said Utahime does hate him while Gojo seems to like her, and the most funny part for me is that Gojo genuinely believes her "annoyance" is a joke between them. The way I see it, it offers this a slowburn romantic comedy potential with Gojo learning to get over himself, step up, and have this massive realization of falling for Utahime. I had this convo with my moot ola and moot said how basically Gojo just went “shit, she CAN fix me!” with Utahime (Because ya know how Utahime is everything Gojo isn’t) thus he continues to bug her xD

There's just so much to "play" with their dynamics honestly if you take them out of the canon story. You'd think that a slow burn romance would be two people earning each other's trust then doing all the slowly loving/liking part, but since the story already has set up that gjhm have each other trust because they share the goal of teachers fostering the new generation of sorcerers plus their decade of familiarity with each other, it makes you think what's more to this slowburn romcom?

Well, the way I see it, their opposing teaching beliefs can help them learn from each other and be better teachers. Gojo will be forced out of his emotionally constipated ways. Utahime's strength in her patience and ability to connect with other will be highlighted. They can be such a fun colleagues to lovers slowburn romcom type of story ya know which I honestly find hilarious xD So yehhh thats basically why I ship these two fuckers :^)

#gojohime #gouta #jjk asks #gjhm ramblings

[crimeronan]

Hello, got a TOH question for you! I'm trying to write a scene from only-slightly-canon-divergent!Luz's POV, and to dismay finding I'm struggling with it. Any pro tips for writing her you can pass on to someone who didn't study at Luz University? 😅

aw, this is a sweet ask. i'm flattered to be considered a resident luz expert! and i LOVE an excuse to infodump. this got long i'm sorry i just love thinking about. my girl.

luz is usually pretty whimsical and optimistic (which is why her later self-destruction hits so hard), she believes in people and she believes in The Triumph Of Good Over Evil. she's weird and doesn't understand social norms but she cares So Much, About Everything, Ever. she believes that things will work themselves out like they do in stories, she sometimes steps on people's toes when she's trying to fix a situation, she loves an underdog story and it's constantly getting her into trouble.

i think the biggest three things for me when writing luz POV are these:

-

she is UNRELENTINGLY kind and trusting.

this is her biggest strength - she's constantly befriending her enemies through the sheer power of earnestness. and this is how she makes and keeps friends like willow, gus, and eda.

this is also one of her biggest weaknesses - she gave hunter back his staff in hunting palismen when she Really Should Not Have, she didn't pick up on philip's Bad Vibes, etc.

she truly honest-to-god believes the best in everyone and is surprised and hurt whenever they disappoint her.

-

2. she has NO impulse control and CRIPPLINGLY hyperactive ADHD.

luz is all over the place, constantly. her thoughts and hyperfixations go a mile a minute. she can devour a book in a day and learn a conlang in a week, but she can't sit still and she has the type of ADHD that makes traditional classroom learning borderline-impossible.

outside of school, you see this constantly in the decisions she makes, or rather the decisions she Doesn't make. luz always blurts out exactly what she's thinking, when she's thinking it. she always thinks that her first solution to a problem is the best one & rarely plans beyond that. she's not an analytical strategist. in fact she's frequently fucking up everybody else's plans by..... just. being luz.

the fact that luz always says and does whatever she's thinking is, again, one of her greatest strengths: she is SO earnest and genuine, and it makes it easy for people to believe in her. she loves SO openly and is so lovable in turn.

it's also one of her greatest weaknesses because. oh my god, girl. challenging boscha to a witch's duel on willow's behalf. angrily shouting straight-up heresy about belos in public in hollow mind. all the shit that got her into trouble in the human realm before she ran away. u know

-

3. she is Desperately Afraid of hurting people.

i'd say she's afraid of being a Bad Person (TM), but i do think her fear is more specific. in WAD, her nightmare isn't exactly about having committed atrocities herself -- she doesn't even believe she could have! she knows she didn't create the statue graveyard, she immediately tells amity "i don't know what's going on, but i wouldn't have done this."

all of her fears are related to things her friends & family went through after meeting her.... she's terrified that she's going to hurt the people she loves, no matter how much she tries not to. she's terrified that her presence in the world is harmful by itself.

same with her rant in the classroom in TTT. when she says "it would be better if he [i] never existed," she even says (paraphrasing) "who cares about the broader impacts or the greater good. who cares if he was a hero or wanted to do the right thing. it doesn't matter!!! what matters is that he ruined everything anyway!!!!"

her anxiety with papa titan reflects this, too. "doesn't that make us just like belos??" she's figuring out how to navigate the world and complex morality and she's terrified of getting it Wrong. she already feels like she's done everything wrong & it's completely shaken her sense of self. she doesn't trust herself not to hurt people or to work for evil because she doesn't have a clear understanding of what separates her ideology from belos's.

this third point often isn't relevant in fluffy/lighthearted fic because luz's optimism, joy, and simple zest for life are Definitely dominant in her character. but it is VERY relevant when doing character studies or angstier writing exploring her headspace in situations where she feels guilty or afraid.

-

everything else is set dressing. she's quirky and weird, she's bouncy and stimmy, she loves bats and rats and snakes and bugs and creepy crawlies, she loves gross shit, she loves shipping and romance and sweeping high fantasy, she gets Deeply invested in every random plan she ever conceives, and she is Astonishingly easy to love because of how easily she loves.

you don't have to keep every single detail of this in mind when writing her!! this was just a nice excuse to gush about my girl who i love so so so so so fucking much. luz love of my life daughter of my heart FOREVER.

#replies #long post #luz noceda #toh #toh meta #writing advice

[etherealninfa]

THE FIRST DATE. Inspector Gadget X Oc fanfic. (CannonXOc) Chapter 3: "A trap in the museum"

Sorry for this late update but there are the last chapters if you need them before read this and also sorry again if my translation have some mistakes.

Chapter 1:

https://www.tumblr.com/etherealninfa/736718475852185600/the-first-date-inspector-gadget-x-oc-fanfic?source=share

Chapter 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/etherealninfa/737164253806673920/the-first-date-inspector-gadget-x-oc-fanfic?source=share

Chapter 3: A trap in the museum.

Ninfa’s POV:

I was still sad but I didn't feel ready to tell him that I didn't want to be away from him. Once we arrived at the museum, Gadget looked at me again with great curiosity. I felt very embarrassed by my previous behavior, not at all appropriate for someone my age. I was fortunate to have him as my boss because he was quite understanding and sweet. I think that someone else in his place would have already fired me or ordered me to be arrested for a few hours. Gadget, on the other hand, was very patient with me. He genuinely cared about me.

******

The place was already cordoned off with yellow tape to prevent entry. We presented ourselves to the colleagues who had secured the vicinity of the museum in order to gain access and begin work.

-Do you want to go in first?- he said. -We must be alert if there is still someone involved nearby.

I couldn't concentrate. I heard it but for some reason my mood didn't let me react.

-Are you going to say something, or not? - He asked me -You look very quiet.

-Sorry...I'll go inside to start looking for clues.

I walked towards the entrance and he followed me. Once inside, we looked for a very brief moment at the exhibits before starting with what really mattered. I could notice how, from time to time, Gadget turned to look at me and then returned his gaze to one of the museum pieces. I knew that he was not trying to make me feel uncomfortable and that's why he remained silent. At that point, some police officers came to where we were to talk to the inspector. They explained the situation and what they knew so far: Someone broke in and stole an emerald figure. At the moment there were no clues or indications within the main areas of the museum and, therefore, the identity of the person responsible could not be reached.

-Well, I suppose we should obviously check the place where the stolen piece was, but I think we should take a look at the places that seem unrelated to all this: the ancient Egypt exhibition, the library and the remaining galleries. It is possible to find something important where we least imagine being able to find something.-said the inspector.

So, we went directly to the place where the stolen figure was located. Like the entrance, the place was already cordoned off. There were several shards of glass scattered across the floor; sample of what was the display case that protected the piece that was no longer in the museum. Gadget took out some of his gizmos to start investigating. I followed him, taking notes and paying attention to any orders he could give me.

-Wowzers!-the inspector exclaimed as he leaned near the display.- What do we have here?- He took out his magnifying glass and got as close as the distance between his body and the object would allow him.

I also immediately leaned in to see what he had discovered. It was a seal impregnated on the marble of that structure. That seal, that brand was nothing more and nothing less than the logo of the organization led by the evil Dr. Claw. It was too small so it was to be expected that the officers did not notice it with the naked eye.

-Honestly... it doesn't surprise me- I answered.

-Yes, who else but that eccentric villain to stole a piece like this-Gadget answered. -Well, I guess it's no longer necessary to go to the other places in the museum, we already know who the author of this crime is.

After a few brief seconds with our gaze fixed on the logo, we immediately turned to look at each other with the same closeness as the times we were about to kiss. I could feel his gray eyes, so full of experience, seemed to fix beyond my soul. There was a rather awkward silence. I couldn't look at him so I immediately thought about getting out of that situation.

-Well...we already have the proof we needed, so we better return to the station to get to work on the plan to recover the piece- I said, turning to start walking away from him. But quickly, Gadget grabbed me tightly by the wrist and forced me to stay next to him. I was surprised by that unexpected reaction on his part, almost to the point of scaring me a little. He looked very serious and determined. My body trembled because of this new side of him. Now I couldn't take my eyes off his, due to the shock it caused me.

-I-inspector...- I stammered-we must go...there are guards everywhere.

-There's no one here now- he answered.

-There are security cameras...

-I'll take care of that later.

His words flowed with shocking firmness. He kept looking at me with that same expression. Yes, that was the word: firmness. He did not seem angry or exploding with aggression despite the force he had applied to his grip. I knew that no matter what I said, there was no escape. I know that everything could seem like an excuse for being someone with knowledge of self-defense techniques like me, but the truth is that I didn't know how to answer. I was just sure that coming to a struggle was not one of the options. Part of me wanted to give in and another part resisted.

-Inspector, I think this is not the time to...

-So when?!

With his other hand he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me towards him. He squeezed me lightly without hurting me. I just closed my eyes and started to relax my body; waiting for what we have been wanting to achieve for a few hours. I felt how his lips subtly caressed mine. That slight tickling sent me an overload that ran through my entire spine and made every fragment of my skin crawl. And, finally, the flame of that long-awaited kiss consumed us the moment he pressed his lips against mine.

I was kissing him and he was kissing me. He did it madly, with a certain desperation. Now, with both hands he held my waist and I surrounded his neck. He picked me up and took me against one of the large pilasters that supported the building. It wasn't right that we were both doing that while we were on a mission but we couldn't stop. The tension had been so much that it took just one glance for everything to explode. At a certain point, I felt his tongue in contact with mine and his arms pressing me closer to him. It could only hear how my mouth emanated faint uncontrollable moans and the emptiness combined with the large size of that room made the sound of our lips in contact reverberate in echo.

But just when my mind became more cloudy and I left aside the fact that we were in front of a crime scene and in a place where someone could arrive at any moment, a powerful and unknown noise, whose origin we could not define, echoed throughout the room. It was something very strident that freed us from that trance. We stopped kissing and turned towards the direction of the sound. Some of the officers who were nearby suddenly entered. Seeing them inside the room, I let go from Gadget's arms, without turning to see his reaction.

-What was that noise?!-asked one of the officers.

-I have no idea!- Gadget answered, trying to level out how agitated his voice sounded. -We'll have to inspect and find the exact point where it's coming from. Quick!

We all immediately split up to search. I ran in the direction of the library. I still had a very vivid memory of the inspector's lips on mine. This new event didn't let me process everything. After crossing a long corridor, I finally arrived at the place. There was no one person around. I felt a little short of breath so I walked slowly as I inspected. Everything seemed to be in order, very clean. The air emanated that aroma of ink, paper and glue.

I continued with my investigation until I came across a spiral staircase that led to the second level of the library. There, on each of the steps, there were books placed forming a path that clearly invited me to follow it. Something very suspicious, that was for sure; but my duty was to find out where it led. I walked up stairs and, when I reached the end, the path of books continued. I continued with that journey until the row led me to one of the shelves there. It was empty, apparently because the books that were supposed to be there were what had been used to build that trail that would take me to that point. Only a large red book remained in its place on that bookshelf. I knew that this was not a coincidence, so I took it and after examining it from the outside, I opened it. To my surprise, the book was blank and, before I could react, it exploded in my hands. But it wasn't gunpowder or something that was intended to hurt me to a mortal degree. What that object released was nothing more than sleeping gas.

Gadget's POV:

I was researching in the Ancient Egypt exhibition room. There were no traces of broken glass or destroyed objects, the displays were intact. I couldn't think about anything other than my kiss with Ninfa. I feel a little embarrassed to tell the truth, because I have always focused on my work and being in service I rarely left my obligation aside. But I couldn't contain myself anymore. In a way I am grateful that the interruption occurred because, if I continued kissing her the way I did, I don't know what I would have been capable of. I had to concentrate, calm down. I will be alone with her again, although I was not sure if I have already ruined everything. She responded to my kiss but maybe she could change her mind... I don't know. Suddenly, the sound of a slight explosion and Ninfa screaming abruptly brought me back to reality.

I immediately turned and ran as fast as I could in the direction of the museum library. Once there, I called her several times but she didn't answer. At that, I came across a mysterious path made of books. I didn't think twice and followed it. In the end I arrived to the bottom of the second floor, where I could see Ninfa lying on the floor. As I breathed I could feel a certain heaviness on my eyelids, making it evident that someone had spread sleeping gas. Before this took effect, I put on a gas mask, so that sleeping gas couldn't invade my entire system. I approached where Ninfa was lying. I turned her around, just to check that her condition was solely due to the gas and not anything else. Apparently it was that, nothing more. She didn't had any wounds. She continued breathing and made slight noises with her mouth: she was asleep.

I took her in my arms and carried her to the museum lobby. I placed her on a bench in front of a window so she could get some fresh air. I tried to wake her up but it was in vain, apparently the effect of the gas was very powerful. I was feeling very worried. The officers who were with us a while ago arrived again. I explained everything I had seen but that we would have to wait for the gas to dissipate from the library before I could go and inspect the site. Likewise, I knew that there was no other option but to let the effect of the gas wear off on its own from Ninfa's body. However, I couldn't leave her here in that state. It would be dangerous; so I took her in my arms again and headed to my car. I would have to take her to her house, there was no doubt of that.

******

We moved in my car towards her home. It was a small apartment located in a group of buildings in which several people lived. Luckily I had my master key that allowed me to open any door in the city, so I had no problem entering. It wasn't the first time I was at Ninfa's house; She had already invited me and my niece several times but my stay had always been limited to passing through the living room, the bathroom or the dining room. I had never entered her bedroom before and doing so now piqued my curiosity a lot.

With her in my arms, I turned the knob and, in front of me, the space where she used to rest all the nights was revealed. The sweet aroma so characteristic of her floated in the delicate atmosphere of that feminine and intriguing refuge of hers. Her kitten was sleeping in a small bed located on top of a dresser. She noticed my presence but she went back to sleep instantly. I gently placed Ninfa on her bed and sat for a moment next to her. With one of my hands I caressed her face. I know that she was not in this condition by her own will, which was somewhat worrying; Still... seeing her with her eyes closed, so calm... I couldn't help but smile with some tenderness.

I stayed there for a few moments and was immersed in contemplating her room. It was quite cozy and surrounded by pretty things that gave it an innocent air. I noticed a photo on her nightstand: it was one that Penny had taken of us on Ninfa's last birthday, without us realizing it at the time. We were having a little fight over who would eat the last strawberry on the cake. The photo had captured the moment in which we were both trying to insert our fork into the fruit. Obviously we were playing and in the end I gave her the strawberry.

I laughed when I remembered that occasion and I was surprised that she had that photo, always by her side. I sighed and left it in it place. I  had to return to the museum to continue the work. I didn't want to leave her like this but there was no other alternative. I looked at her one last time and gave her a small kiss on the corner of her lips:

-I'll be back later- I told her even though she couldn't hear me. -We still have a lot to talk about but I would like us to do it in a special place. One where we can be far from everything and everyone. It will be our first date.

******

I was already back at the museum. The whole ride I was just thinking about how much I wanted to put an end to this whole robbery thing and get back to her. I didn't expect the day to be this intense but, without suspecting it, I didn't imagine that it was going to become increasingly strange. The police officers I had interacted with from the beginning were waiting at the entrance to the museum. As soon as I approached, one of them handed me a paper.

-Has something new happened, colleagues?- I asked them.

-Just this, inspector- he said, showing me a paper- we found this note that, apparently, is addressed to you.

-A note?- I said, taking that intriguing paper.

With obvious curiosity, I prepared to read:

"Hello, Inspector Gadget. It's wonderful to see that my trap worked just as I expected. For many years I have tried to destroy you in every way imaginable; but you of all people know that it has been impossible. I am impressed, I must admit. ..although without any enthusiasm. Likewise, this does not mean that I will stop my plans. No, on the contrary: I think that the best way to destroy you would be, doing it in parts.

I will start by destroying your heart. I hope you understand what I mean. In case not...let me tell you something: How beautiful and how vulnerable your little assistant looks while she sleeps! So fragile, so oblivious to what is happening around her...and so easy to be taken in my cold claws.

See you never, Gadget. Sincerely, Dr. Claw."

This was not good at all. What was the trap? So many possibilities came to my head. Ninfa...she was alone and unconscious in her house. Without hesitation, I grabbed my secret phone and called Chief Quimby.

-Boss, this is Gadget! I need to leave the museum, the matter has become more serious! Please send other reinforcements to the area. Ninfa is in danger and I must leave immediately.

I didn't wait for the boss's response, I hung up immediately and went back to the car. I had to get to her house because, without a doubt, she was in danger. I drove as fast as possible, waiting for her to be okay.

Upon arrival, I rushed straight to his bedroom. What I feared most appeared before me: Ninfa was not there. Her kitten came out from under her bed, she was scared and her tail was slightly bristled. I took her in my arms and calmed her while I called Ninfa throughout the apartment but it was in vain, she was not there. I had to move and find her. Her kitten was already more relaxed, so I took her back to Ninfa's room. I looked again at the photo she had on her nightstand and felt a feeling of helplessness and a lump in my throat. But there was no time for sentimentality, I had to act.

******

When I crossed the threshold of the door of her house everything seemed normal, which did not allow me to react to what was going to happen. Without warning, I felt something strong and heavy bearing down on me. As soon as I reacted I saw how a fairly tall and strong man took me by both arms to subdue me.

-Hello, inspector! "It's time for a ride" -he said mockingly.

-Who are you?! Get your hands off me! -I exclaimed as I tried to free me but his strength was superior. -Let me go! -Silence- Damn! I need to find Ninfa...

-Don't worry, you will be with her very soon- he said, letting out an evil laugh.

I froze at his comment. I was more worried and the lump in my throat became more painful. The guy took a fairly heavy chain and tied me with it, so that it would be impossible for me to free myself. The worst thing is that my gadgets did not react. The man took me to a truck which he forced me to get into. He went to the back seat with me and the driver started to taking us to a place that was totally unknown to me...

-To be continued-

Notes:

Omg really sorry for took a lot of time to post it . Honestly was very hard translate. I hope you like it. Promise poste the next soon <3

#inspector gadget #inspector gadget 1983 #go gadget #go gadget go #oc x cannon #oc x canon #oc insert #shipping #inspector gadget fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #ocxcanno fanfic

[bonesandthebees]

I am not snowflake anon but I wanna know more about your thoughts about Dumai and Nikeya

aaaa yes more people to ramble about a day of fallen night to!!!! ok will be putting my thoughts under a read more for spoilers

warning this got, uh, longer than I expected

so firstly with dumai in general, I loved the parallels between her and glorian. both had their positions of power thrust upon them unexpectedly (glorian expected to have many more years before she had to take the throne, dumai literally didn't even know she was royalty until like a few days before she went and had to claim her title as princess), both were seen as the sole hope for their houses, both were struggling to find their power amidst the politics of it all. but their endings were so different. in a way, glorian got the bad ending while dumai got the good ending. glorian is forced to have a child. she never gets to live in hróth and has to reject her birthright to it. she saves her people, but at the cost of herself. (of course, she does reclaim parts of herself in any way she can and becomes the warrior queen she always wanted to be, but there was still so much she had to give up and she ended up trapping her daughter in the same cycle)

meanwhile, dumai is also to save her people, but doesn't lose herself in the process. yes, she has to give up her magic and yes, she can't be with her wife in the way she wants to. but she doesn't have to bear a child to continue the house of noziken. she's able to go back to ipyeda and become the maiden officiant like she always wanted. dumai's ending is as close to a good ending as she could have and I think it's such a well done contrast between the two dream sisters.

now for dumai and nikeya specifically, ohhhhh I loved their relationship so much. the two of them have such an interesting dynamic. it takes so long for dumai to trust nikeya. and it's interesting how deeply-rooted dumai's dislike/distrust of the kuposa is when she's barely been in this world for a year. she didn't know anything about the kuposa clan until she learned who her father was. but she heard they were conniving and scheming and wanted to control the house of noziken and took that to heart. of course the river lord being responsible for the death of her grandfather and also just being an overly polite passive aggressive asshole to her definitely contributed, but I was definitely surprised how stubbornly dumai held to her distrust of nikeya. but at the same time I understand it because dumai has never loved something like she loved nikeya before. it wasn't only her distrust of nikeya because she was a kuposa, but dumai not wanting to open herself up to being hurt like that.

and nikeya... ohhhh I really really loved her as a character. I love how even in the earlier parts of the book from dumai's POV you can see her desire to be seen as more than her father's daughter. wanting to cut the strings he's using to puppet her and be her own person. how she genuinely cares about seiiki and wants to make sure dumai will be a good ruler. she struggles against the way she's been raised to be and reconciling it with the person she wants to be. she had to fight so hard to forge her own identity, especially in dumai's eyes. as she falls for dumai you can see her so desperately wanting dumai to see her as her own person instead of just as a reflection of her father. and I think, like dumai, that despite the drawbacks her ending is one of the best it could be. of course for nikeya the ending she would've chosen would've been her and dumai co-ruling with suzu as their heir, but dumai wouldn't have been happy being stuck at court. her soul always belonged on ipyeda and I think nikeya knew that. but the ending she gets instead is one where her talents/skills in court can flourish, and she can make sure seiiki turns into what she wants it to be. she can ensure it's ruled properly and make sure it's prepared for the new age they're now living in.

I think it's also so interesting that her family ate from the mulberry tree. I am so desperate for more information on the mulberry tree and neporo and all of that so I really hope eventually we get more information on how nikeya's family ties into that!!

(also, the fact that nikeya is a descendant of someone who ate from the mulberry tree and apparently still has enough siden in her blood to make her immune to the red sickness makes me wonder if sabran IX from priory would've been immune as well? since tunuva is one of her ancestors? just questions buzzing around my head)

anyway just. yeah. dumai and nikeya I love you both wish you could've had a normal marriage but I hope nikeya made plenty of trips to ipyeda for 'guidance from the godsingers' throughout her time as warlord ;)

#ask #anon #a day of fallen night #adofn #roots of chaos

[twotangledsisters]

You're comments on Ao3 are annoying

I start almost every ask with: I love this question.

This is not a question nor do I love it.

In fact, my first instinct upon reading this was to crawl under my bed and never come out again. But that's probably my social anxiety and not me, so let's quickly dissect this!

So, I'm not in the slightest bit surprised people could find my comments on Ao3 annoying. Because I ramble a lot and I'm a bit all or nothing....

Like... look at this comment I left on Tangled: Between the Kisses:

I had to zoom out to 25%... and I actually left two comments on this chapter. (It was a really good chapter, okay?!)

So yeah, long, rambly, annoying.

I get it.

It's fine.

But umm... I like long comments? As an author, getting long comments is amazing and fun... And I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in that boat. Lots of authors like long comments, right?

Now, I don't know if you (person asking this) are an author or a reader.

I try to be very good at pointing out to authors that it's okay to tell me my comments are annoying and I will stop commenting, OR leave shorter comments! Like, I'm perfectly happy to write: "Great chapter! Enjoyed it, keep up the good work!"

No complaints here.

Here is a snippet from a comment on Moonrise where I do just that! (another great fic, I'm a chapter behind, need to go read that)

On BTK I couldn't find myself asking this, I thought I had. But I have spoken privately to one of the authors, @the-writer1988 and from my understanding, the long comments are not an issue.

So, if you're an author, and you find my comments annoying, that's fine. Please, reach out to me and tell me and I will stop leaving long comments!

I would genuinely be super thankful if you do, because then I won't have to stress over which of the fanfics I'm currently reading and commenting on I should be changing my commenting method.

If you're a co-author and don't want to make that statement publicly because you don't know how other authors feel, PM me, I'm not going to share this info with anybody else. I'll just switch up my commenting method to whatever suits you best!

I have no issue doing that.

Now, moving onto the second scenario, which I like to think is more likely... You're a reader.

You enjoy browsing comment sections and I have these really long comments, using block-chains to make following the comment easier for the author but maybe making a very repetitive read for a reader.

If that is the case, I apologize that this annoys you.

But I think the added value for the authors is more important here.

You don't have to read the comments I leave.

In fact neither do authors, but that's an entire other story.

You can browse past.

I can understand it might be annoying...

I wish I could give you a solution. I just went to test out Ao3 Enhancement Suit to see if hiding authors also affected comments and it did not.

So, I don't have a solution.

But I stand by the fact my comments are more for the authors, a love message for their work, than for other readers. Not that I wouldn't love to interact with other readers. I just think, if something is giving any joy to the person who creates this fic we both enjoyed, that should be more important.

But, maybe I'm wrong, maybe there is a pov I am not thinking about, if so, I'm always open to debate.

I did think about leaving this ask unanswered.

But, I've been very nervously questioning which of all the fics I comment on has incited this.

I've been asking myself if I should stop commenting in case I am annoying to certain authors.

And I feel like it's a lose-lose situation if I were to do that. I'd feel upset over not being able to express my full love for the writing of another, and the other person would not receive that love to begin with.

Whereas, communicating my willingness to be flexible feels more productive than stopping altogether.

Despite that, has this shaken me up a bit and activated social anxiety mode?

Yes.

I could lie and say no, I'm not affected whatsoever by negativity, but it'd be a lie.

So if my comments hold a slight tenseness to them moving forward, it's because my mind is overthinking, and has nothing to do with the amazing stories put out there by the many members of the fandom!

And, in case it wasn't obvious, I'm open to all reviews, long, short, grammaticaly incorrect, want to throw an entire fanfic into the comment section? Do it. I'll read it. I'll love it.

Every person is different though and I'm fully open to interacting differently with different people.

Now... I'm going to go eat some chocolate because this response took waaaay too long and I have earnt a treat.

[amaryscita]

‘You’ll never know dear, how much i love you.’

Depressed Suguru G. X F!Reader.

Part three too ‘you are my sunshine, my only sunshine,’ ‘You make me happy, when the skies are grey.’

(Contains mentions of depression and poor hygiene if you’re depressed and need someone to talk too my DMs are always opened)

~~~ ~~~

Suguru tried the cookies and seen them. He smiled a genuine smile..

‘They remind me of you :D!’

You and Suguru had a better bond then before, he started talking more smiling more he was turning back to his old self with the help of You. You were his peace, he found peace in your presence

You brought him more stuff to eat and more snacks everywhere you went you always thought of Suguru and believe it or not if Suguru went outside he always tried and get you something but sometimes he wouldn’t have enough so he had to think

Suguru never knew how much y’all related in terms of mental health, you always looked so happy? How could you relate to someone like him?? But you did

You told him how depression used to get the best of you and you didn’t really have someone like yourself to help you like the way you’re helping Suguru, so you were kinda excited when Satoru asked you to help Suguru with Depression

Suguru can only imagine you in his shoes, messy hair restless eyes barely getting up puffy eyes overall a mess yet you still were strong enough to get outta bed and live your life

And help others like him, he wasn’t depressed during the time you were, what if he only met you sooner met you during your depression so he could help you overcome it.

“If you don’t mind telling me… what made you depressed? Like what caused it-! If you don’t wanna tell m-“ You cut him off by laughing “It’s pretty stupid but okay.”

Flashback!!(your pov)

You were in middle school and was kinda popular, everyone knew you but you only had a little bit of friends. There was this one friend who was always there for you, he would always make you smile and laugh

He had a crush on you, but you didn’t notice until he confessed too you. You said yeah! And y’all started dating, he was your world for those three months. Until you got a message

I’m sorry Y/n I can’t do this anymore, i think I’m too young. Maybe in the future. It’s not that I don’t love you, I’m just too young.

You understood until you didn’t understand, he started dating a girl the next month..? But didn’t he say he was too young? How could he move on so quickly? Was those three months nothing?! Was it all a joke?

Your heart was crushed by the breakup and the fact he got over it so quickly. But you got over it and made new friends but your best friend became his best friend. And then your best friend started to like him

Of course because he just keeps finding ways to come back in your life, you didn’t wanna be rude and you wanted your friend to be happy so you just let them be happy and watched their happiness.

You started to feel left out, by your best friend. Only time she’d talk too you she’d talk about him. ‘He’s so nice’ ‘he bought me this’ ‘he adores me!’ You wanted to just tell her to shut up. But you didn’t you just stood supportive even though your replies were dry it didn’t matter

Of course you knew what he was like in a relationship he was YOUR ex first. But obviously you let her have fun with it.

You knew the truth with everything you knew that your ‘friend’ was talking shit about you next thing you knew the school knew half of your secrets

Everyone knew everything they weren’t supposed too and who’s to blame? Your friend.

Current Time(3 person)

Suguru was shocked and disgusted “How could- wow.” He wouldn’t blame you for being depressed especially if you were only in middle school at the time

And here you are, smiling making sure he’s happy at his lowest even though nobody was there for you. How can someone fumbled that badly..?

He wanted to be your world, especially for longer than three months

But you deserve someone better than him. Someone like you? You deserve someone who looks like Satoru someone who’s smart and wealthy someone who’s overall just picture perfect someone you can please your mother with.

Obviously not him..

But in your eyes, he was the perfect one even though he’s depressed right now, you’ll take that depression away. You’ll comfort him.

He was handsome, kind, caring. Just..amazing. Sure he may not be the wealthiest but who cares about money when you have someone like Suguru? Not you.

The way Suguru smiled at you, the way your hand touches his the way you both make eye contact..

You both have a crush on eachother…

I don’t know if anyone realized but I’m basing this off of a nursery rhyme 💀

#female reader #x female reader #x fem!reader #x female y/n #fem reader #female #jujutsu kaisen getou #geto x you #jjk x reader #jjk getou #jjk suguru #jjk geto #getou suguru x y/n #getou suguru x reader #getou suguru x you #jujutsu kaisen suguru #geto suguru #sugurugeto #getou x y/n #jujutsu geto #geto x reader #getou x reader #getou fluff

[sinterblackwell]

Hi! I read your tags on the aro!LQG post and I wanna talk about it a little if you don't mind? (Disclaimer I'm rlly awkward so if anything sounds rude pls know I don't mean it to be.)

Okay so I feel like when Madam Meiyin talked about SQQ's fated person LQG did think that it was him, because I'm pretty sure no one else knew LBH was still alive by then (cmiiw)? To be fair the traits could be used to describe LQG which is hilarious so it's probably deliberate for comedic effect. When I read about LQG getting more aggravated by Madam Meiyin's prediction, I deadass thought he was just baffled like "why is this random demon telling that I'm SQQ's soulmate??? this is definitely bullshit we shouldn't continue listen to her." and so the rest is history hahah. I had thought it was really funny for LQG to be self-conscious about the prediction and so unhappy about it.

Anyway yeah that's it. Sorry for bothering you I just want to talk :')

first things first, you didn’t bother me at all!! this ask actually made me smile because i don’t engage a lot with the svsss fandom…or just any fandom in general, in discussions so i was happy to see someone reach out to me to just get to talk. second of all, i did a reread of that scene purely to see from a better pov than i did when i first read it and it truly is something.

**what is even more something is how much i write, hence why i put this “keep reading” sign.

hopefully any of it is salvageable :’)

the laughable thing about all this is that i genuinely feel like sqq regarding that scene in that … it just did not occur to me that lqg could possibly have been who madam meiyin was talking about. there was not a single brain-cell that considered lqg was thinking along those lines as you said where he was like “what the hell, is this stranger insinuating i’m sqq’s soulmate?”. while sqq didn’t consider any guys at all, in my case, i think i was very biased bc of how much i love bingqiu that any other character who may have an infatuation with our mc just wasn’t in the cards for me.

reading your own interpretation of that scene, i feel dumb now because it just seems so obvious. i said in my tags of that post you mentioned that that prediction can go both ways and madam meiyin’s words can apply to both lqg & lbh, i think.

“Your fated person has very little interest in others,” Madam Meiyin went on. “But once they find someone, their devotion is absolute.”

“A first-class beauty, peerless among all humans.” Madam Meiyin said with certainty.

i would also say this one below but i’m not too sure, since if we’re applying it to lbh, that “first meeting” would have been when he met sj!sqq, not sy!sqq so idk if the lines are just blurred there.

“Your first meeting was unhappy, and there might even have been loathing involved,” said Madam Meiyin. “But after a critical moment, that all began to change, and thoroughly so.”

but i can definitely understand now why the fandom are so rattled when it comes to lqg and his feelings for sqq, whatever they are. it now makes me curious to see fics that explore that, but i’ve also just been very wary of reading any svsss fic that isn’t centered around bingqiu as the main pairing😅

thank you for giving me your thoughts on that scene!! it honestly makes a lot of sense in reflection, and i feel like it definitely hits hard because whoever this “fated soulmate” this madam was talking about was, for both lqg & lbh, it reveals a certain depth in the impact that sqq has had on these two characters that they just end up sort of blurring the lines in this prediction.

which makes what happens during those years where lbh held onto sqq’s corpse and lqg constantly chased after him so much more heavy to think about…..

#❣️ #liu qingge #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #svsss #asks

[unioncolours]

I know this is random, but do you have headcanons for Saiino before they got married? Like, how do you think they try to make the relationship work? Because I don't think it will be easy for them to understand each other at the beginning of their relationship.

Hii! Thank you so much for your ask.

I think love where one learns to love the other one over time is underrated! I think Saiino is an example of a couple that learned to love each other over some time, and that is not a bad thing.

Ino - however hot headed she could and can be - is also an understanding person and not stupid either; she knows Sai's background and the rocky road he has had to get where he is in Boruto. We see that she shows compassion for him in Shikamaru's story, and I can't believe she finds it too hard to continue with the same patience.

Sai is goal driven - he has an end goal after he caught feelings/interest for Ino - and thus he makes certain decisions and imitate certain behaviors to gain her interest back.

Dating ensues!

But we all know romance isn’t a single track and there must’ve for sure been times Ino is frustrated at Sai for not getting certain clues or Sai beats himself up for not understanding the situation. 

However, what makes Ino stay is when she knows Sai is trying, and he is trying for her. That is what will make her swoon over him over and over again, after a life time of competition and whatnot, and here is a man who tries his best for her and only for her. And I think knowing that is what Ino needs. She needs to not have to compete for once in her life, the least in her romance and she grows to love him back, deeply. 

This is only cemented harder when she gets to be a motif for his artwork, to know she is the apple of his eye, to have his eyes on her. “Paint me like one of your French Girls”, anyone?? The intimacy that comes with portrait painting, y’all. Underrated.

So, whenever they had an argument where they miscommunicate, I’d assume Ino would rant to Shikamaru, who from a logical sense can calmly let her know what he thinks is Sai’s POV and what he fails to tell her, and Ino would calm down and they’d talk it out. Oh god, I can see them talk a lot, not only because Ino knows talking and opening up is healthy, but also because Sai genuinely wants and needs to know what went wrong and how they can fix it. Deep talks during starry nights, over tea, in bed, in every mundane life situation. 

NSFW! He’s probably also very good at sex because this man studies and reads up on the anatomy of the female body and orgasms ensue. To be physically connected in a way sex allows one to be is something he cherish a lot, hence why he makes sure Ino comes, over and over again. Man’s a keeper. 

These were my incoherent rambles, which were maybe more of an analysis than headcanons, but I hope, anon, that you got a peek into my brain and small headcanons of them 🥰

Thank you for asking, and asks are open!

#saiino #sai x ino #inosai #majsasaurus

[iztopher]

🎵 one for you: te'ijal & galahad

HEHE thank u!!! (answering this one first bcause the other one will take more time)

i have a whole mix for them (i haven't posted it because i want to swap out One Specific Song) so here are my top five songs from it:

Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney

Meet Your Bride - Jason Webley

You Don't Know Me - Ben Folds ft. Regina Spektor

Smother - Daughter

Shameful Company - Rainbow Kitten Surprise

long explanations under the cut because I have. a lot of feelings. and thoughts

Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney

"You're the one I wanna chase / you're the one I wanna hold / I won't let another minute go to waste / I want you and your beautiful soul"

This one is a joke. However, in my defense, it is a very funny joke.

Back in the middle school version of this fanmix I went directly from Beautiful Soul -> I Hate Everything About You, which is the type of tonal whiplash I think defines te'ijalahad. (Now it goes into Sticks and Stones by The Pierces). I think it's very funny and very fitting for the soul stealing song on my mix for them to be a pop song about having a crush because IMO that is how Te'ijal perceives her stealing Galahad's soul

Meet Your Bride - Jason Webley

The problem with picking a lyric to highlight for this is the entire song is fucking perfect for Galahad @ Te'ijal and I lose my mind every time I think about it too long.

"Yes, and how are you going to greet your wife when she's standing at your door? / When she comes to claim your heart, your life, your body, then still wants more? / Will she find you bearing flowers? Will you greet her with a knife? / Tell me, how will you meet your wife?"

& also sorry I cannot mention this song without mentioning the ever iconic "Tell me how / are you going / to greet / your bride? When she's clawing at your ribcage / and demands to come inside?"

top songs to be forced into marriage with a vampire to!

You Don't Know Me - Ben Folds ft. Regina Spektor

"I want to ask you / Do you ever sit and wonder / It's so strange / That we could be together for so long/ And never know, never care / What goes on in the other one's head"

this song is so fun I love having the closest thing this mix has to a duet being the singers getting frustrated at each other for fundamentally not knowing anything about each other and not listening to each other.

honestly I could have put this song anywhere on the mix as a Galahad POV song ("so easily led astray / an errant dog who occasionally escapes and needs a shorter leash"), because I feel like it's a pretty great summary of his feelings.

but I have it towards the end of the mix, for the end of Aveyond 3, because at that point it also fits Te'ijal's POV where she's been telling Galahad exactly how she feels for the past two years about What's Been Going On and he's absolutely refused to internalize it. it's a duet! the feeling is mutual (derogatory)!

Smother - Daughter

"I am wasted, losing time / On a foolish, fragile spine / I want all that is not mine / I want him but we're not right"

fun fact: my mix is named we're not right after this lyric! and I am working on a Te'ijal(ahad) & Ingrid(/Boyle) fic named "I want all that is not mine" because I think it does a great job of summarizing how those ladies approach relationships.

I find it very hard to imagine Te'ijal ever outright apologizing to Galahad, but I do think she comes to understand that what she did to him was wrong. this is the song I have chosen to represent that!

the word choice focusing on smothering and suffocating is especially important to that, because I personally read most of Te'ijal's post AV1 behavior as genuinely well-intentioned but no less controlling or manipulative.

Shameful Company - Rainbow Kitten Surprise

"if you're cold, go inside / if you're tired, go to sleep / if you're weak, come to me / find shameful company"

my dear bestie once perfectly summarized te'ijalahad's dynamic as "emergency contacts". that's what this song is to me. it's the last song on my mix because it's my aveyond 4 song!!! this is the "galahad spends literal days without sleep fighting through a small army of demons alone so he can break up with te'ijal in person, then immediately collapses to fall asleep in the bed she made for him" song.

my friend bucky recommended this song to me for them with the logic that like, it was almost easy to hear those chorus lines as dismissive in their straightforwardness, like, do the obvious thing. and he was So right for that. and i love the idea that going to each other when they Need Help is the obvious thing in that situation because that's kinda like, the Defining element of how i view te'ijalahad

#yeah im gonna tag this one. #aveyond #te'ijalahad #dear mel #tysm for the ask!!!!!

[jamie-tartts]

interesting POV that you think carrie bradshaw is toxic. coming from a carrie stan, care to elaborate? genuinely curious - no hate. and can I ask who your favorite lady is then from satc?

hi! sorry for the late response, I know you sent this in a few days ago when I made that post.

I hope not to offend you by any means lmao, but I feel like she’s toxic (or at least not as great as others make her out to be) because she always finds a way to make things about herself? she inserts her own problems into other peoples dilemmas not in a sympathetic “I know how you feel because I experienced this, etc. etc.” but more of like a “well this happened to me and this was much worse” and then takes over the situation. idk this is just my personal takeaway.

I also think she thinks of herself as a non-judgemental person, but I disagree. I think she’s very judgemental and if any of her friends think differently she puts up a bit of a stink. if there’s any sort or argument or discourse or disagreement, carrie decides when she’s “done” with it and/or the conversation. she’ll cut people off mid sentence, she’ll distance herself for long periods of time instead of dealing with it. and, of course in some situations it’s understandable but I find myself wanting to just shake her being like “JUST CALL [whoever it may be] AND MAKE UP ALREADY YOU’RE AN ADULT!” her friends are very supportive of her and are always there for her, and while I agree carrie is also there for them too - she often pulls the “well I was there for you during this time, so you need to come with me to this.” i just don’t like that. I feel like she often wants support and advice from her friends, and if she doesn’t like it, she’ll make a stink about that too - but then when her friends need her advice about something, her advice (again in my opinion) is total bullshit and kind of aloof.

and when it comes to Big.. I have so many other thoughts on that that I won’t get into in this ask, but to sum that situation up: she doesn’t learn or listen. and I know the common consensus surrounding her relationship with him was “oh, but it’s love.” and sure maybe it was - but it wasn’t healthy. it was destructive and detrimental and she never learned. I think she was naive because she always went back to him. maybe it’s love but you can recognize when something is not good for you and she was never able to fully accept that with him and she continuously got hurt by him time and time again. he put her through so much and treated her so poorly and she went back each time. in and just like that at the funeral (spoiler alert!) that blonde friend from the past made a cameo in the episode and said to the woman sitting beside her, something along the lines of, “am I the only one who remembers what a prick he was to her?” to quote the iconic LC line from the hills, she needed to “forgive him, and forget him.” for good.

as for your other question, my favourite lady is samantha. she’s unhinged, unbothered and unapologetically herself. she doesn’t judge, does what she wants when she wants but is so smart. she’s a loyal friend who was always there for all of her friends, she never hesitated to tell them straight up or to tell the truth. she never kept a secret and she never hid any part of herself or her life from her friends. she always included them, always invited them with her, and always made sure her friends were okay. she was a great friend and a trustworthy, loyal person. one of my favourite female characters of all time.

thank you so much for your message :)

#answered #anonymous

[waterberry-strawmelon]

Huge oof

#so if anyone saw my post earlier today bc I got a couple more anons about that post from a while back #I went to find the ONE person who genuinely wanted to understand my POV #and their blog is gone #but when I started to search for it in the tumblr search bar a VERY similar url came up with only a one-word difference between the old one #and this one. so I’ve got no way of knowing if it’s them #but the word they swapped out now says ‘rad.’ yknow. like radical. #I SEARCHED THEIR BLOG BACK THEN TOO AND THEY WERENT EVEN A R*DFEM #and this new blog was made TEN DAYS AGO. which is super au’s #and literally every single post on their blog is a r*dfem post and their blog title fucking says: #‘gender nonconforming. biologically female. happily on testosterone’ AND THEYRE FOLLOWING A BUNCH OF FUCKING TRANSMEDS TOO #WHAT THE FUCK??? #anyways seeing the real-time transformation of someone into becoming a radf*m or transmed or WHATEVER #into actively spewing hate speech and false harmful rhetoric? that’s fucking terrifying. #now that I think about it I swear I remember seeing them reblog something that wasn’t outright agreeing with t*rf rhetoric but essentially #admitting that ‘they make good points sometimes’ or some shit like that?? (this is def a paraphrase since I don’t remember exactly #but I DO remember thinking ‘uhhhh that’s not good. better keep an eye on that/be careful there bud’ AND WHAT DO YA KNOW??? #I guess I called it? slippery slope and all that. anyways I’m tired folks #but alas I have math work to finish. off I go to bang my head against my desk for the next hour! #mine #just some thoughts #transphobia #also please let me know if you’d like me to tag these posts as something more specific or even if I need to stop posting them at all #if it makes you too uncomfortable to see this stuff/if you think it’s best I just block report + move on yknow

[fckwritersblock]

Please?

Bucky x black reader

Description: After a heated argument between the two of you, one where the words exchanged were better left unsaid, has left your apartment leaving the two of you unsure of where you stood in each others lives. Now, all Bucky wants to do, is be done with this John Walker business so he can come home to you and tell you how he really feels.

Angst. Angsty as fuck and I don’t know where I came from but I’m sorry.

Here I am. Me. Trying to be apart of something great! @fineanddandy 2k celebration! My submission to the #breakuptomakeup2k with only a 80% understanding of said assignment as I chose emo smut for this. Again y’all. 80% understanding 😅 I got carried away, there is no smut to be found…but just. Here. He y’all go

I’ll be back with another contribution and I’ll be going for angry but until then… Enjoy… Whatever this is lmao

( unedited. Af )

Flashbacks will be in bold.

There will also be a pov change so pay attention. Also the gifs, closest thing I could find to the relevance of the story so…brace yourselves 

Word count: 3,481

Bucky was once again at the bar he frequented. It was where he did his people watching and got in his mandated weekly social interactions in order to keep his therapist off his back.

All the regular joes were there, but there was someone in particular, a new face, a pretty one, he found sitting at the bar. One, that was unfortunately, being bothered by the resident asshole. He didn’t know his name. He didn’t really give a fuck but for some reason he did care about the frown that was on your face as the guys seem to be getting extra handsy. As Bucky approached the counter he heard you giving him what he knew wasn’t the first warning.

“Mister, you reach over here with those grubby fingers again you gon pull back less than you reached over here with.” You threatened as you reached for your purse.

“Excuse me, Bucky wedged himself between you and the asshole facing you.

“I’m Bucky.” he spoke, holding his hand out for you to shake.

"Y/n," you shook his hand slowly a bit confused, only for Bucky to wink at you.

He turned to the man who wouldn’t leave you alone.

“And you are?”

The man took Bucky’s hand and attempted to grip it firmly in order to intimidate him, and before he answered with his name, Bucky gripped his hand hard before releasing it quickly said man falling to the floor.

“Don’t care, beat it.” He said taking the guys seat.

“You broke my fingers.” He groaned from his position on the floor.

“Dislocated.” Bucky brushed him off and took a seat.

Quickly dragged out by security, the two of you watched in amusement before but he turned to you once more.

He thought you were breathtakingly beautiful. The smile on your face wascontagious and he found himself smiling too.

"Y/n,” he tested your name out on his tongue, and you nodded confirming. “Can I get you a drink?"

The rest was history.

The way Bucky fell for You happened so fast yet so slow and all at once. It had been a while but Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he felt this much love from somebody. Received this much love from somebody. Truly felt like he had someone in his corner other than Steve before he… Went away. He had finally managed to find someone on his own.

His own person.

You knew all about his past, the things he’d done, and had yet to judge him. Every time he got in a mood you made sure to remind him that it was temporary. And it was OK to feel whatever and however he may have been feeling.

His person.

“You got 10 minutes, than we’re doing things my way.” Bucky rolled his eyes as John Walker, America’s new appointed Captain America, attempted to display his authority as Sam went in to attempt to talk down Karli.

Bucky was more than over his self righteous bullshit. He was genuine. This was just another kid trying too hard. But he was here. And he would have Sam’s back, the same way Steve would. Even if he was mad at him for giving up the shield.

He wanted to go home. Bucky didn’t like this one bit, then again, he could recall you saying the same thing just a week ago. And if he went home now, his argument with you would be all for nought.

“I don’t like this. I don’t like this one bit.” He watch you pace back and forth and he pack his stuff to take back to his place before meeting Sam.

“What do you want me to do?” He huffed becoming increasingly frustrated.

“I want you to sit back, and mind your fucking business for once.” You exclaimed hands flapping all over the place for dramatic affect.

“Y/n. You know I have to-“

“No. You don’t.” You cut him off talking through your teeth. “You don’t have anything to prove to anybody. Steven is gone. You don’t owe anyone shit.”

“I didn’t expect you to understand. God for bid something other than you have my attention.”

“And what’s that suppose to mean.?”

“You have a family! The shield. It’s the closest thing to family that I have-“

“Oh, Fuck you! Okay!”

“Oh, fuck me?!”

“Yes, you bastard! Fuck you! You have of me! But if you want to go around I continue chasing ghosts and potentially get yourself killed, you go ahead. See if I care-“

“You don’t!” He yelled causing you to jump.

It was the first time he actually raised his voice at you and while it didn’t scare you per se, it caught you off guard. He let out a deep breath clenching his jaw as he snatched his bag off the couch.

“You don’t care and It’s clear I was kidding myself for everything thinking you could..” he caught him self before he could say anything else.

“I could what James?”

He could hear the crack in your voice and knew your feelings were probably hurt but he continued to throw the bag over his shoulder before grabbing the front doorknob.

“Love me.”

That was the last thing he said before he left you. That you didn’t love him. It was a stupid thing to say. I really stupid dumb hurtful thing to say.

Something he knew wasn’t true.

You guys have yet to say ‘I love you’ to one another, seeing it as it had only been about 6 months and you had done your best to make sure you were patient. With him, his feelings. But even though you hadn’t said it.

He felt it.

He could absolutely feel the love you poured into him each and every day. That day, just wasn’t a good day. He was anxious, on edge. He was angry. So very angry. And while all this time he had done his best to not take it out on you, he failed this time. Between things with you and the storm they we’re headed for now, he was all over the place. He closed his eyes for a second trying to calm himself down. He imagined you there with him, telling him what you always did every time he was frustrated with himself and not feeling in control.

“They’re feeling, Bucky. As much as we wish we could control them we can’t. Not always. And that’s okay.” You would say. “You’re not a bad person for having feelings and not knowing what to do with them. You’re human.”

Bucky sighed eyes still closed, hearing your voice in his head clear as day as if you were still with him.

“I’m human.” He repeated.

“Buck.”

He opened his eyes quickly, having forgotten where he was momentarily.

“You alright?” Sam asked after what they just witnessed

“No.” Sam nodded at Bucky’s answer, feeling similarly.

“‘Are you ready for this.” Sam fired another question as they prepared to enter the deserted warehouse.

To this Bucky said nothing, just made his way into the abandoned building.

John Walker had just killed a man. He killed man mercilessly. He killed a man in public. And he had done so using the shield. Steve’s shield.

They had to make to things right and they had to do it together.

The sooner they got this over with, the sooner he could be with you.

—————————————————

You had been pretty down the past 2 weeks without Bucky. You slept better when he was there. Felt better. Protected. Love.

This wasn’t the first time you guys argued and it wasn’t the first time he tried to push you away. This time though, It just felt so…so final.

Like he was done with you.

God you hoped that wasn’t true and that he’d come back to you.

After watching the news this morning, the faith that Bucky would come back to you was restored. The news reported that he and Sam had gotten John Walker and his position as Caption had been terminated. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself knowing that Bucky and Sam had accomplished exactly what they set out to do. Now all that was left was for him to return to you.

You waited anxiously for his arrival and while you weren’t sure when he’d come, it had to be soon right?

You’re feeling were hurt from the events that transpired between you two, but you knew he didn’t mean it. Beneath the tough exterior bucky was a big old softy. He fancied himself a ladies man when he was with you. Which is why you also knew he’d be beating himself up over it. This was probably the most time you guys has been away from each other since getting together and if he was the person you knew he was, you knew he missed you as much as you missed him.

So you want to do something nice for him. To show him you were sorry too. To remind him you were still there for him. You had learned that Bucky didn’t like big grand gestures. He appreciated small intimate ones as he was still getting using to positive affirmation and intimate attention. So you decided to bake his favorite cookies, having Instacarted all the Ingridents.

While you weren’t exactly sure when he would be home, he had previously told you he wouldn’t be gone for more than two weeks. Well you were two days shy of the two weeks and you wanted the cookies to be ready for him.

You had also decided to tell him. To tell him that you were completely in love with him.

You put the third batch in the oven and went to the bathroom for a quick shower. Seven minutes in you heard what sounded like your front door opening

“Bucky?”

You quickly exited the shower, throwing a towel around you to peak your head out of the bathroom door.

“Bucky.” You smiled when you heard the sound of his boots entering the kitchen.

“Buck take the cookies out the oven will you? I’m gonna throw on some clothes then I’ll be right out.”

And you did just that. Throwing on a tank top and some boy shorts, you slipped your robe on and went to meet your man in the kitchen. You were giddy with excitement, knowing you’d find him in the kitchen 3 cookies in.

“By now you I made your favorite…” your voice trailed off the smiling falling from you face.

He came toward, nothing in his hand, seemingly harmless but you knew better.

“You’re not Bucky.” You swallowed eyeing the former patriot before you as he made sure to block the front door.

“No. But you know who I am.” His rasped staring at you with a crazed look in his eyes

“What do you want?” Your eyes flickered over to your phone momentarily as you continued to watch him.

“He took something from me.”

“Im going to take something from him.” He shrugged.

It was than you understood exactly why he was there. Before either of you could say another word your phone went off and a Buckys photo came up.

“Answer It. On speaker.”

With shaky hands you grabbed the cellular device and answered the phone putting it on speaker but holding it close to your chest as you continue to eye John Walker who stood a mere 5 feet away from you.

“Hey.” You spook keeping your voice steady.

“Hey,” you could hear him breath out what sounded like a sigh of relief.

“Did you get it?” You questioned the way you normally would, even though the both of you knew you already knew the answer.

“We did.” He confirmed a way.

I’m so happy for you buck.” You couldn’t help but smile.

“You mean that?”

“I do.” You nodded as if he could see you.

Silence. On the other end, Bucky fought not to be too emotional. He just knew you were going fo be done with him but when you picked up the phone for him…

“Buck?” You swallowed glancing at John Walker. “You okay?”

“No, Y/n, I’m not.” He confessed, pausing only for a moment, “I’m sorry for what I said the other day.”

“Oh honey. Water under the bridge.” You spoke as nonchalantly as possibly.

You needed him to know you were okay…

“I shouldn’t have-“

“James. I forgive you baby,okay?”

…that you were no longer upset with him…

“God I miss you.”

“Sleeping’s not the same without you.” You confessed.

…that the two of you were okay…

“I’ll be home soon. Less than 24 hours.”

…just in case anything happened to you…

“Bucky?”

“Yeah doll.”

“I like you, a lot.” You blurted out

The two of you made that a habit; saying I like you a lot. It started off as a joke but then became a way for the two of you to express the strong way you get for one another without the pressure of saying “love”.

“I like you a lot too doll.” He chuckled and you smiled knowing you put a smile on his face.

Possibly for the last time.

..you wanted to be sure he knew….

“24 hours?” You repeated.

“24 hours and I’m yours.” He agreed.

“It’s a date.” You agreed with a sad smile as a single tear worked its way down your face

…you still felt all the things for him…

“Bucky?”

You hesitated giving John Walker a once over. He smirked thinking you were now going to beg Bucky to come rescue you.

“Doll?”

..you needed him to know exactly how you felt about him.

“I love you.”

You quickly dropped the cellphone smashing it under your foot and taking off toward your bedroom. You slammed and locked the door quickly going for Bucky’s drawer where you knew he had gun.

You picked it up quickly turning out the safety before firing at John who busted through the door. He took several protracted steps back into hall trying to evade the gunfire. The pistol had a silencer on it, but you wished it hadn’t. That way someone would’ve actually heard it and call for help. But it was just you. You followed suit, firing after him as he ran down the small hallway. If you could just get him away from the door you could escape.

Two bullets left you thought to yourself as you counted them the way Bucky taught you, so you’d make every single one count.

One.

He cleared the hallway but you could still see him try to bend the corner when you fired your last shot.

“Son of a bitch!” He yelled.

Got him.

Soon as his arm jerked back and he hit the floor you spirited toward the front door.

You almost made it two the front door when he yanked you back by the braids. Hitting the wall with such force you knew you had to have made a dent in the wall. Coughing you tried to stand only for John to punch you sending to the floor once more.

Your head was spinning. You couldn’t focus and your body began to hurt. Your lip was busted and your shoulder felt as if it were dislocated.

He picked you up by the throat slamming you against the wall again, this time cutting off your oxygen.

“He’ll come for you.” You wheezed as best you could.

The grimace still help on his face, he bought you closer towards him, squeezing your throat tighter, mouth leveled with your ear. You began clawing at his hands as you fought for air.

“I’m counting on it.”

——————

While Karli was in the wind, both Zemo and John Walker were taking down. Caps shield was back with Sam, the way it always should’ve been, and in t-minus 12 minutes he would we back with you.

Where he knew he always wanted to be.

Bucky was elated when you answered the phone for him as if nothing happened.

Then you told him you love him, before you hung up.

You.

Love him.

He started to call you back but he didn’t. He wasn’t sure he was ready to respond. He wasn’t sure he able to properly put the reciprocal words in a sentence. Of course he knew he loved you, you’re the one who helped him remember exactly what love is, what it feels like, but your confession caught him off guard. Now that he had time to recover from the infill shock, he was more than ready to tell you, and he wanted to make sure he did it face-to-face.

“Babe.” Bucky called out opening your front door.

He didn’t live with you, not officially, but you had him a key made after the first month. It felt high school to move in so quickly but he might as well had. Bucky was with you all the time. You both agreed he should keep his place though, sometimes he still liked to sleep on the floor and it was safer when he was out on “missions”, rather, making amends as he liked to call it. Not to mention, sometimes, he still needed to be alone. That was something else he loved so much about you. You understood that and you supported that.

You were in his corner no matter what.

Upon enter Becky could smell the white chocolate chip oatmeal craze and cookies as soon as he stepped into the kitchen. He remembered the first time you made them for him at Christmas time 3 months ago. You said it was the perfect holiday cookie and he had to agree. You would always make them to cheer him up and put a smile on his face. He smiled to himself, today was no different. There was a cute decorated plate full of them. Neck to it was a small note written in cursive.

‘I love you’

He felt as if his heart skipped several beats. There it was again. The word you guys had yet to say to one another face to face, a feeling he also shared with you. I know you feel the same even after your fight…

Bucky knew you took your nap seriously, so if you weren’t curled with a blanket on the couch, he knew you’d be in the bedroom. He wasted no time heading that way.

“I love you.” he breathed out as soon as he got to the doorway of your bedroom.

The relief from that confession was short-lived as the hairs on the back of his neck begin to stand up.

Something was wrong.

And as he taking your motionless frame underneath the covers another feeling crept in.

Fear.

Bucky didn’t feel fear. He hadn’t in a long time save for the few words that could’ve activated him once upon a time.

Outside of that though. He wasn’t sure when the last time he was ever really afraid of anything.

Til now.

“Y/n.” The call of your name was soft but definitive.

Nothing.

While his brain had already registered the possibility you weren’t breathing was high, the other half almong with his heart couldn’t.

Cautiously he walked around the other side of the bed getting closer. The unusual way your eyelids were mostly closed along with your hand that idly hung off the side of the bed he knew.

“No, mm-no.” His voice broke as his heart broke into a million pieces.

He dropped to his knees taking your limp hand in his.

“No..” it was death curdling scream. A cry that came from the back of his throat as he placed your cold hand to his cheek.

With his free hand Bucky pushed some of the braids out of your face, revealing the some of the black and blue scarring on around your eye, you busted lip. As his eyes traveled down he froze. His hand lowered He could feel the way your neck with a naturally bent on both sides. Broken neck, crushed windpipe.

“Come on doll, you’ve got to get up for me.”Cradling your head his gently brough you to his chest, pulling your body into his.

He checked for a pulse even though he knew…

There wasn’t one.

“Open your eyes for me huh.” His hand caressed your cheek, tapping ever so often, willing you to wake up.

“I haven’t even told you I love you. “ he sniffed a river of tears freely falling down his face. “That I am irrevocably in love with you.”

“So I need you to wake up ok?” His hand moved to the back of your neck, now pushing your face closer to his. “Come on, Y/n.”

Bucky rocked back and forth as he held onto you.

“Please?”

but even as he continued to beg…

“Please?”

He knew it was futile.

“Please?”

——————-

If by chance I broke your heart too…I’m sorry

#black!reader #tfatws #fatws bucky #bucky x black!reader #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #breakuptomakeup2k #bucky barnes #bucky imagine #black reader #i understood the assignment #sike #black writer #tfaws sam #sam wilson x bucky barnes #Sam Wilson

[poisonmaximoff]

BELATED FATE (Elizabeth Olsen x FemReader).

The whole story: here.

Chapter 21. Accepting the fate

Y/n's POV:

I had to spend a whole night on a yacht in my cabin, thoroughly soaking my poor pillow, which was drowning out my endless stream of tears for several hours straight. Even my previous breakup didn't hurt me as much as spending five minutes with someone I wasn't even in a relationship with.

It's completely my fault. I allowed myself to succumb to the call of my heart, which longed for something unreachable for me, the woman who is beyond everything. I allowed myself to enjoy every minute spent with her as we shared small chuckles, big laughs and moments of comfortable silence.

The thought that I could fall in love with her that very moment when I saw her in the elevator that day and all this time deny the obvious fact, covering pure feelings with fleeting sympathy, doesn't give me any rest. Remembering me throwing unconscious glances in her direction, my rapid breathing next to her, the slightest feeling of envy towards Boyd, only makes me more convinced of my assumption. Only love can affect you like this.

Elizabeth Olsen captured my heart from the minute she walked into that ill-fated elevator and linked her gaze with mine, deliciously rolling my name on her tongue. Her special attitude towards me left no chance for my naive feelings not to find their home in a genuine attraction to the woman.

I could have explained to her right there why I made this choice, but my uncertainty that I could be with her for a few more minutes without surrendering to her embrace made me turn around and run away. Although I'm not as selfish asshole as I may seem.

I'm mature enough to respect her desire to remain private and to be ready to sacrifice our ability to be in an open relationship. But not along with the fact that she will be married to another person and I will have to be content with the role of paramour, even without the opportunity to have a proper life with her.

Elizabeth wants to live a double life, showing the public a fake image of an exemplary wife and being herself only with me. She is ready to lie to everyone including herself, her parents, husband and friends, she is ready to become a cheater by violating her own moral principles just to be able to periodically spend time with me. And I will never let her do this to her beautiful personality, turning it into a worthless piece of dirt because she didn't find enough strength to refuse one temptation.

It was probably one of the few times when my own fear saved me from a possible deep emotional wound. Although currently the pain almost tears me apart, creating a strong desire to simply cease to exist so as not to feel anything, I believe that in time I will be healed. Right now my only task is finding a safe way to do that.

I almost don't remember how the whole next day went, because I lived it as if in a fog, not fully perceiving the real world, wandering through my inner labyrinth from various thoughts. It even crossed my mind a couple of times that I should drop everything, quit the company and move away, but the fact that I have neither the skills nor the chances of getting an equally good job somewhere else immediately erased this desire. In addition to this, it would be difficult for me to leave my family and friends here and live in a strange city completely alone.

By the evening, I already began to come back to my senses and fully realize what was happening to me. Firstly, tomorrow I have to go to work again, because I don't want to let my parents down with my irresponsibility, and secondly, I understand that I won't be able to avoid Elizabeth for the rest of my life and now I have to figure out how to build at least normal business relations with her.

Once again wearing myself out with my thoughts, which has already become a habit since this woman appeared in my life, I finally allow my body and mind to fall asleep at around 2 a.m.

I don't think I've ever felt so exhausted and unwilling to do absolutely anything in my life. Sitting in my office and bringing what I think is my third cup of coffee today to my mouth, I replay in my head a dream that has tormented me all night.

Rich looking guests in expensive matching outfits have already gathered for the main event for many people here: Elizabeth and Boyd's wedding. The general excitement, laugher and happiness for the newlyweds are floating in the air, creating a magical festive atmosphere for everyone here except me.

Taking a seat next to my parents at the ceremony, I watch a couple in love up close as they make wedding vows to each other and a sickening feeling rises in my stomach along with tears in my eyes.

It should have been me putting the wedding ring on her finger. It should have been me who swears eternal love to her and gives her a loving kiss, getting the opportunity to call her my wife.

She never even looked at me, completely focusing her attention on her new husband, smiling at him with a sincere loving smile, while I still sit in my place without moving, swallowing a lump that came up to my throat, threatening to burst out strong sobs.

It should have been me.

I wonder if this is a sign or if it's just the tricks of my tired preoccupied mind because of what happened. Maybe I should've still gave us a chance despite all the difficulties? Although, considering that life sends them to us from the very beginning of our acquaintance, I'm more and more convinced that fate is categorically against us being together. And who am I to argue with it?

A knock on the door pulls me away from filling out some spreadsheet and I say "come in" loudly, allowing the person to enter the office.

"Y/n, hi," my red-haired colleague Cindy comes inside and greets me, leaving the door open. "It's already a break and I noticed that you're still sitting here, do you want to come down for lunch?" Wow, time goes incredibly fast today, because I didn't even notice that it was already 1 p.m.

"Yes, of course, give me a minute." Without hesitation, I agree and, having grabbed my bag, I leave the office with the girl going down to a small restaurant on the ground floor.

"You know what's funny?" Cindy probably didn't stop talking for a minute while I reluctantly picked my salad with a fork and listened to her silently.

"Tell me," I say half thoughtfully, staring down at my nearly untouched food, as I'm not in the mood to actively engage in conversation at the moment.

"Ms. Olsen stormed into my office today and ordered me to stop doing all my business, because she urgently needed some help." The talk suddenly became interesting for me and I curiously stared at the girl in anticipation of continuing.

"I don't know what's wrong with her, but she rushed around the building like a hurricane, issuing orders and getting angry at everyone who didn't complete their tasks on time. I've never seen her so mad, must be nerves 'cause of her wedding. I could barely keep up with her, what an experience!" This is not at all like the calm and methodical Ms. Olsen I know, but of course I'm going to keep silent about this.

"It's strange, she's not usually like that," I reply so as not to stir up anything extra and Cindy narrows her eyes slightly, putting another spoonful of soup into her mouth.

"How do you know what she usually is?" Oh shit, not these curious questions from colleagues, which always end up with all the employees finding out about it.

"Just helped her a couple of times, nothing more."

"Hm, okay. So...Are you invited to their wedding too? Since you seem pretty close to their social circle and people say it's going to be really grand. Rumors are spreading at the speed of light!" Thank you for an amazing topic of conversation, dear, I dreamed of discussing this all day and night.

"I don't know yet and I don't really care about someone's personal lives," I calmly reply, doing my best to hide the fact that I actually care too much.

"You're a weirdo, Y/n." No, I'm just in love with our boss.

"Anything is possible," I smile at the girl as I continue to eat my meal.

"By the way, she was asking about you today." I almost choked on a leaf of lettuce, hearing that Elizabeth was interested in me. "You're supposed to give her some materials for the upcoming board of directors." Shit, they're, of course, ready and I did everything that was necessary, but to intersect with her once again is not what I would like to face.

"Oh, can you give them to her, please? I don't see her often and she's constantly absent from her office, I never know where she can be found," the first dumb excuse that came across my brain makes my colleague raise one eyebrow.

"Unfortunately, she instructed me to go to the other end of city for new contracts after dinner, but another time I would certainly to that," she smiles and I'm disappointed knowing that meeting sparkling green eyes is inevitable. "The last time I saw her she was in the conference room preparing for the presentation, look for her there."

Taking a deep breath while standing in front of the door with a couple of folders and a flash drive in my hands, I squeeze out the last of my strength to finally go there. Should I just throw everything on the table and run away or maybe ask the cleaning lady to do it for me? Fuck, Y/n, you're as nervous as if you've been called to the police station for suspected treason. Get it together, you're not the miserable coward.

Leaning the knuckles of my right hand against the door and knocking on it a couple of times, I quietly open it and slowly enter the room, surprisingly not noticing a single soul there. Huh, I stood in the hallway like a fool for several minutes collecting my thoughts to face literally no one? Now this is embarrassing.

"Y/n?"

"Oh god!" I, jumping up from fright, drop everything that I had in my hands on the floor, creating a loud sound of things hitting the surface.

Turning behind me with bulging eyes and parted lips, I meet the tired gaze of a woman sitting on the desk. A suit jacket hanging on the back of a chair, the top buttons of a shirt casually unbuttoned, several empty cups on the table and slightly swollen reddish eyes tell me that Elizabeth has been here apparently since early morning. 

"I brought everything I needed to do," I say without even greeting her and glance at the paperwork strewn across the floor, kneeling down to gather it up. Hearing the soft clicking of heels approaching me, I hesitate to raise my head to her, knowing full well that even a few seconds of eye contact with her have too powerful effect on me.

She repeats my action and also goes down on one knee to help me put all the papers in place, seeing how my hands disobey me, clumsily dropping everything back to the floor. These couple of minutes of silence in being this close to her seem like an actual torture to me, threatening my nerves to break like thin strings of a harp.

Having coped with the task, I rise to my feet and she imitates my action again, continuing to stand motionless near me with her head turned to my side, which I see with peripheral vision. Glancing at her for a couple of seconds and noticing how she carefully examines almost every inch of my face, I awkwardly clear my throat and head to the large table to put my stuff on it.

"Will you stay to help me with the presentation?" A hesitant voice behind me asked, almost making me to instantly agree.

"You're just trying to spend some time with me, aren't you?" I understand perfectly well that this was just another excuse.

"I am. Is this a bad thing?" She asks almost disappointedly and I still don't even dare to turn to her, afraid that my self-control will let me down once again and I will throw myself into her arms.

"Yes, Elizabeth, it's a bad thing." I still decide to turn around and again face her gentle look, in which even after everything that happened, I don't find any resentment and anger at me. "We shouldn't be spending any more time together," I hate saying it out loud and being the person trying to push her away once again.

"Is this your final decision?" She looks at me with a hint of hope and bites her lower lip in anticipation of an answer, riveting my attention to this for a couple of seconds, but my cold mind throws me back to reality.

"I'm tired of making decisions, El. Don't you understand yourself the situation we're in?" I try to open her eyes to all the problems that await us if we succumb to weakness, because it seems that she only pays attention to what is happening here and now, completely forgetting about the future.

"In what situation, Y/n?" She takes a couple of steps towards me. "It's not my fault, that I fell in love with you," my breath hitches, "and I know you feel the same way. Why are you so resistant to it?" Her words don't sound like a claim or demand, it's just a normal question of a blinded person who doesn't understand anything. I never thought that I would ever be more mature than her, having to explain her such things and the fact that she doesn't see anything past the end of her nose, refusing to put herself in my place, starts to make me a little mad.

"How do you think I'll feel knowing that you belong to someone else and that I'll never be able to have you just for myself, forever being a second choice?" My tone is a mixture of disappointment in her selfishness and pain at the realization of the veracity of my words.

"But I don't love him, Y/n! How can you not understand that you will always be more important for me than everyone else?"

I can't believe how desperately she wants everything to happen in her own way. "If it were true, Elizabeth, you would prove it with more than empty words, end of the story." She averts her eyes somewhere to the side, digging her nails into the tender palms of her hands, and I stand there  clenching my jaw because of the surging emotions, thinking about whether I took it too far.

Not receiving an answer, I decide to continue: "I sincerely wish you all the best, you deserve so much more than hiding and sneaking out with a girl who can't give you anything." My hand involuntarily finds its place on her cheek and she leans into my touch, laying her own palm on top of mine and looking at me with big shiny eyes.

"If you're truly in love with me, please, give me a chance to be happy too." I look at her pleadingly, trying to convey through my eyes how sorry I am and how much I wish things had happened differently. She just silently nods to me, removing my hand from her face and leaves a gentle kiss on my palm, humbly accepting my words, allowing me to calmly leave the spacious room with my back turned to her.

A/n: please be patient with my blah blah blah a little longer and i'll give ya what you want 😁

#elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen fanfic #elizabeth olsen fanfiction #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen x you #lizzie olsen #marvel fanfiction #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fanfic #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x yn

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Season 16 (Part 1)

Summary: After being captured by Michael while Dean was under his control, the reader has spent a very long time locked away waiting for someone to come and find her. When the day finally comes that the door opens, it’s not a familiar face she’s greeted with. Somehow the impossible is standing right in front of her but there’s no time to think about that. Something is terribly wrong and the reader needs the help of this strange young man if she wants to stop what Michael’s put in motion and have a chance at seeing Dean alive again...

Masterlist

Pairing: Dean x reader

Square: Free Space

Word Count: 3,600ish

Warnings: language, SPN season 15 and series spoilers, injury, mention of main character deaths, mention of torture, angst, fluff

A/N: This series takes place post season 15 and follows canon (i.e. if it happened in the show, it happened in this story’s universe). This series is told between the reader and Dean’s POV. This was also written for @supernatural-jackles​ Tell Me A Story bingo!

________

Reader’s POV

You just about had a heart attack when the door opened. It’d been such a long time since it’d been opened. Years and years and years. You’d lost track of the days quickly but it was long enough for you to accept that it’d been a very long time. Long enough to accept that when Michael took over Dean and threw you down in the windowless little room, Dean didn’t win that fight.

The only thing keeping you going aside from the spell Michael had put up to keep you permanently trapped, body stuck in time, was the desire to save Dean. Or what was left of him. You’d been alone for years, body having taken a beating by Michael when he first captured you. You were still covered in bruises, broken ribs that wouldn’t heal, pain in every breath. You didn’t sleep, didn’t eat. Solitude, cut off from the world, that was your main form of torture. Dean though...who knew what hell he was going through trapped with a psychopath like that for all these years.

You readied yourself, a dark figure walking inside the room. The room was pitch black to a certain point before you were trapped under a bright light you’d yet to figure out how to turn off. The figure stopped as their feet hit the brightness, a pair of brown boots and slim dark jeans all you could make out. They mumbled something and you felt the air shift slightly. You dared to reach at hand out to where the invisible wall keeping you trapped had been.

Your hand waved right on through it and you suddenly felt cool, clean air hit you. The person jolted when you sprang up, running away as you bolted for the door. You followed them up a flight of stairs and straight out into the foyer of a very nice house. You could see it was a man now and tackled him, straddling his hips and grabbing your knife from your waistband of your loose shorts, holding it to his throat. He breathed hard as you stared at him, cocking your head.

He was the spitting image of Dean. Mostly. His eyes weren’t green and there was something about his nose that reminded you of your own. The biggest tell of all though was the genuine fear in his face, the confusion. 

“What’s your name,” you said. You held up the knife for a moment and tucked it away when you saw he was only focused on it. The young man, no more than twenty years old, took a deep breath. You yelped when he threw his legs up and wrapped them around your waist, yanking you off of him. He scrambled to his feet but you were on his tail, grabbing at his jacket. He spun around and popped you in the face, sending you to the floor.

You whined and cupped your cheek, the young man frozen in the doorway with a horrified look on his face.

“Who punches their own mom!” you shouted. He ran out the door and you went after, growling at your bare feet as he took off down the gravel driveway. “I’m gonna find you!”

You stomped your foot on the cool concrete front path, glancing to your right and spotting a sports car. You jogged back inside and found a pair of women’s sneakers, a little too big but you tied them tight and found some keys on a front table. 

About two minutes later you were pulling up beside the guy on the road and hopped out of the car, the man running into the nearby treeline. You pulled out your knife and threw it, catching his jacket and pinning the sleeve to the tree trunk. He stumbled and fell down as you walked over, staring up with wide eyes. You sighed and ran a hand over your face. 

“Can you at least tell me your first name?” you asked. He shook his head and you crossed your arms. “I bet your name is Lyle, isn’t it.”

“How’d you know that?” he asked, voice a bit higher than Dean’s but it made you smile, something warm and familiar to it.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think recently. Lyle is my top name for a boy if I ever had one,” you said. “So. Lyle Winchester.”

“That’s not my name,” he said. He stood up and pulled out the knife, carefully holding it out to you.

“You look just like Dean and me. You’re my son...somehow,” you said.

“Fine. My name is Lyle and that’s all I can say about myself,” he said. “I’m serious.”

You recognized the tone, that edge to it, the roughness but laced with an undercurrent of worry. Part of you wanted him to tell you everything about him but you knew he couldn’t, instead letting yourself give him a simple nod.

“I’ll make you a deal Lyle. I won’t ask questions about you that you can’t answer if you tell me how and why you got me out of there and answer anything else I want to know about this little situation.”

“Or else what?” he scoffed.

“Or else someday when you’re a teenager I won’t let you do anything. Lyle.” You took the knife from him and put it away, taking a deep breath. You stepped back out to the road, leaning against the car. You shut your eyes, something heavy draped over you. You peeled one eye open, Lyle leaning back against the car next to you in a blue flannel and dark gray t-shirt. His black hooded jacket was over your shoulders and you slipped your arms through the sleeves, wrapping them around yourself. You squeezed your eyes tight, shuddering before warm arms embraced you, Lyle almost as tall as Dean holding you close to him. “How did you know I was down there?”

“I can’t answer that,” he said.

“What year is it?” you asked.

“2089.” You froze, staring up at him. “Well, 2089 where we are right now is.”

“Lyle. It was 2018 when Michael took me. That’s not possible.”

“I can’t answer that either.” Tears welled up in your eyes and he hugged you again. “Sorry.”

“Dean was thirty nine the last time I saw him and it’s seventy one years later? He is dead. Sam is dead. They’re all dead so explain to me how the fucking hell I have a son with Dean!” you shouted. You pushed him away and ran your hands over your face. “Years. Fucking years I’ve sat down there waiting for him to come and get me. Him or Sam or someone. Fucking seventy one years!”

“Y/N,” he said, sounding a bit awkward but he cleared his throat. “I can’t answer everything because I don’t know everything. But I exist and that should tell you something.”

You wiped off your face with his sleeve and looked around, turning back and staring at him.

“I’m at the start of whatever this is and you’re way down the line,” you said. He nodded with a slight smile.

“I don’t understand it but this, where I’m from, this has already happened to you.”

“You’re from the future then,” you said.

“Not exactly,” he said. 

“A different universe?” He looked at you like you were nuts and the air shifted, Lyle freezing. You turned and saw Jack, a smile on his face. “Jack?”

“Hi Y/N,” he said. He stepped over and gave you a big hug, a little bit of ache inside you easing finally. “Don’t worry about him. He’s just on pause.”

“Jack I don’t understand fucking anything. What’s going on?” you asked. He pursed his lips and sighed.

“Well you already figured out Lyle is your and Dean’s son. I didn’t think I could slip that one past you. But it had to be him that came and saved you.”

“Why?”

“Dean’s in heaven. Has been for 69 years.” You broke away from him feeling like you’d had a punch to gut and making you breathless. “I probably shouldn’t have told you that with the whole decades worth of trauma thing happening right now.”

“Did Michael…” you trailed off.

“No. A piece of rebar on a vamp hunt,” he said.

“He what?” you said.

“Yeah got pushed back on it. Sam was okay though. Oh and Dean had a dog for a few months.”

“Dean fucking died from that? That’s what kept him down?” you said. Jack nodded and you looked down, blinking your eyes. “Disregarding what is going on in my head right now about that, why didn’t you heal him? Or Castiel?”

“Well Cas was in heaven helping me rebuild after he sort of died and I brought him back. I kinda am the new God,” he said with a smile.

“I’m proud of that but again, why didn’t you come down here and heal Dean?”

“I’m sort of hands off in that regard,” he said. You were about to go off on him for that when it hit you.

“Jack how long have you known I was alive,” you said. 

“2020 when I took over, I got these extra-”

“You knew I was alive and  left me in a hole in the ground for over seventy years?” you said. 

“Like I said, I’m hands off,” he said. 

“I was your fucking mom! I took care of you! I protected you! I almost died for you more than once and when you find out I’m still alive you say fuck that bitch, she can deal with it on her own? What the fuck is wrong with you!” you shouted. You slapped him in the face, Jack pouting as you sank down to your knees. “I want Dean.”

“Y/N.”

“I want Dean and Sam.”

“Y/N-”

“I want Dean!”

“I can’t-”

“Fuck you! You’re as every bit as evil as that devil father of yours after all,” you said. You forced yourself to your feet, tears prickling in his eyes. “Oh did I hurt your feelings? Tough fucking shit! Do you realize that I have not only been stuck waiting for years but my body got stuck too. I’ve been sitting with broken ribs for seventy years. Every single breath excruciating.”

You yanked up your shirt, deep purple and black skin radiating across most of your abdomen. Jack reached out a hand and you moved back, dropping your shirt.

“I thought you were hands off. I don’t want your-” you said before warmth trickled through you, the pain gone, body feeling so strange at being without it. 

“I don’t have to touch to heal you,” he said quietly. He swallowed and bowed his head. “I tried to let people live their lives without my interference and sometimes they’re messy but I’ve come to realize recently that’s wrong. A bit of help here and there is good. It gives people hope and maybe I should have done things different.”

“My family’s dead and I don’t want to wait around decades more to see them again in heaven. You’re going to-”

“No I won’t. Lyle’s life counts on you doing exactly what you’re supposed to as do your two other children’s. I can’t just put you in heaven. You can’t die right and you have to wait to see Dean until things work themselves out. Lyle’s going to be with you for a while and help get some things settled. It’s already set in motion so go with it,” he said.

“Jack I want Dean. Please,” you said. “Please Jack. Just five minutes.”

“Would you rather have your family back in the near future, alive, or would you rather have your and Dean’s souls torn apart and you never see him again, dead or alive? Rather he over there doesn’t exist? Rather no one exists?”

“I didn’t say that. Of course I would rather have them back alive-“

“Then be patient.”

“Jack. You gotta give me something. Something please.”

“I’ll talk to Lyle, tell him he can loosen up some. But I can’t tell you what to do. You have to follow your gut. Listen to Lyle and it’ll work out,” said Jack. You squeezed your eyes shut, Jack carefully resting a hand on your shoulder. “Do you hate me?”

“I hate that our family was ripped apart. I hate that you didn’t tell the boys I was alive once you knew. I hate that the last time I saw Dean alive we argued. I think what I hate most of all is that you treated us like everyone else. We’re not, Jack. We’re your family. All of us deserved a chance at normal and we didn’t get it.”

“Sam did.”

“How many years did Sam live without us? Without his brother?” you asked. Jack glanced down and you nodded. “You said you became God? Why didn’t you get rid of the monsters altogether Jack. Don’t tell me you don’t have that power.”

“I thought...I thought it was the natural order.”

“Yet you know there are other universes with no monsters at all. You could have taken the monsters away. Shit turn them human for all I care. The boys didn’t have to keep hunting after you took over. You could have been hands off and changed that one fact and saved so many lives, improved so many lives.”

“No. I couldn’t have changed it. Not back then.”

“Why the hell not?” you asked. He pulled his hand away and you found yourself in some clean clothes, Lyle’s jacket folded on top of the car.

“Because when I became God, I learned a lot. It sucks knowing that certain things have to happen and that I had to ignore when Sam prayed to me in that barn because things had to happen this way.”

“But why?”

“Because if I didn’t, if I’d intervened then and there, this universe, all of the ones I’ve been busy rebuilding, the way I’ve been rebuilding heaven...it’d be gone. Destroyed and I wouldn’t be able to put it back. It’s a temporary pain even if it doesn’t seem like it. So please, Y/N, please, listen to Lyle. Work with him. It’ll work out and things can be okay. You can have everything you ever wanted and more. You can have the freaking apple pie life and the no monsters and all of it but please understand you have more shit to go through first and whatever happens, do not let Lyle die.”

“He’s my son. I wouldn’t let that happen to him,” you said. Jack nodded and you grabbed his arm when he turned to leave. “You’ve grown up Jackie.”

“I’m still a baby by God standards,” he said.

“The guys take care of you after I was gone?” you asked. 

“Yeah. I missed you though,” he said. “I accidentally killed Mary and sort of lost my soul for a bit. Things got bad for a while.”

“Do you see Kelly in heaven sometimes? Mary?” you asked. He nodded and you smiled. “Kids can fuck up and your parents will forgive you.”

“I’m sorry it has to be this way, Y/N. If I could snap my fingers to fix it all, stop it from ever happening, I would.”

“I’m going to trust that it had to be this way,” you said. “But give me a ballpark figure here. When do I get the guys back?”

“That’s relative. You’re going to end up breaking the space time continuum so it’s hard to answer that correctly.” You stared at him and he shrugged. “Not too long. A few days at most. I promise.”

“Wait is that how we have a twenty year old son?” you asked.

“Yes. The next time you see Dean he’ll be younger than the last you saw him. Just trust your gut and Lyle. Next time I see you I hope things are much better,” he said. You opened your mouth but he disappeared. You shook your head and turned around, Lyle now wearing his jacket, standing closer to the passenger seat door. For a long while you both simply stared, Lyle looking as if he’d just had his own long conversation with Jack. 

“You can call me Y/N if that makes it easier,” you said. He nodded and you took a deep breath, going to the driver’s side. “So. What’s the next move?”

“Jack just said after I got you out we had to go to Lebanon. He didn’t tell me anything more than that,” he said.

“Any idea where we are?” you asked.

“San Antonio,” he said. “So we go North?”

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Mind taking the first shift driving? I sort of haven’t slept in like seventy years.”

“No that’s fine,” he said. He walked around the front and you made your way to the passenger side, climbing in and sighing. He got behind the wheel and took a deep breath. “You and dad run a construction business.”

“That’s nice,” you said, smiling to yourself. “Dean’d be real good at that kind of thing. He’s really smart.”

“I know. Most guys can’t call up their dad for help on their architecture homework,” he said. 

“You go to college?” you asked, Lyle nodding. “Do you know about...this stuff?”

“I’m still not convinced I’m not insane. I just got home on a friday night. We had dinner and everyone went outside to have a bonfire in the backyard. I went in to use the bathroom and Uncle Jack stopped me before I could get back outside. He said a lot of crazy stuff I didn’t believe but the fact you were in that basement...you and dad are only like forty but you’re obviously too old right now to have had me when that would have made sense and Uncle Jack said space and time is gonna break and-”

“Lyle,” you said, holding up a hand. “Relax. I just want to know, do you know what hunting is?”

“Dad doesn’t go hunting,” he said, narrowing his eyes. You smiled and nodded to yourself. “We don’t even own a gun.”

“I doubt that. But that must mean that something happens to the monsters along the way too.”

“What do you mean monsters? And why were you kidnapped in a basement? And what the fuck is going on? You’re supposed to be my mom that runs the family business and you kick ass in your soccer league in the summer and you can’t cook to save your life and that’s okay cause you’re really good at baking and pies and shit and I just don’t understand who you really are.” His face was flush, eyes fighting back tears. You smiled, reaching over and cupping his cheek.

“You’re a good guy Lyle. We obviously did something right,” you said, wiping away a stray tear that fell. “It’s scary. It’s really scary. I’m not your mom yet but I will be someday. I promise I will tell you everything you don’t know when I catch up to your time. Dean and I will. But we need to go to Lebanon and the faster we can go there and figure out what we have to do, the faster we can get you back home where you belong.”

“But can’t you-”

“This world isn’t safe, Lyle. It is very unsafe for a Winchester especially. Please drive now,” you said. You put on your seatbelt and he closed his eyes. “Please.”

“I was supposed to be having a smore right now,” he said.

“I know. But saving the world is kinda cool,” you said. 

“I don’t want to save the world. I want to go home and not see my mom be beat to shit. I want my dad to go back to teasing me at dinner and not being dead,” he said. 

“If we do this right, you can go back to that really soon. It hasn’t happened for me yet. We can talk all about this when you come back. The night you come back we can talk through it all. But we have to get going. The sooner we go, the sooner it goes back to normal.”

“It’ll never be normal again.”

“Yes it will. I promise.”

“How do you-“

“Because I just had this really bad thing happen to me but someday I’m going to have you and everything I ever wanted with Dean. So it sucks right now but it’ll be better eventually. I know it will. You’re here so I know it’ll be normal.” He nodded and wiped off his face, starting the car up again.

“Y/N. Are you okay after...you know...being down there beat up all that time?”

“Not really,” you said. He took off his jacket and handed it to you. You stared before he rolled his eyes, laying it over your front.

“Sleep. I can drive.”

“Lyle.”

“Y/N. Rest. It’s safe. I got this.”

“You take after your dad.”

“Take after someone else too,” he said. You smiled and nodded, resting your head on your shoulder, closing your eyes. “I’ll wake you up for breakfast.”

“Egg and-”

“Cheese on a biscuit, two breakfast burritos, extra hot sauce and a small hot latte.”

“At least my road trip order didn’t change,” you said, quickly relaxing and falling asleep for the first time in ages.

_______

A/N: Read part 2 here!

#tell me a story bingo #supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean #winchester #dean spn

[formulawonu]

Hi! I have a request for you if you can, can a request based on “champagne problems” by taylor swift where either daniel, lando, lewis or carlos are dating the reader and think it’s time to propose, and they do it in front of their families or the whole grid but the reader says no, and they broke up, and years later they run into each other again and talk. you can choose the ending between fluff or keep it angst.

champagne problems / lewis hamilton

(gif is not mine! credits to the owner)

warnings: angsty :'(

a/n: i fell in love with this request, thank you so much for it. i got immensely sad writing the last few lines of this :/ taylor swift knows what she is doing. i hope my writing did justice to this beautifully sad song <//3 tried doing smth different and wrote in third person/more of lewis' pov. big cheers to lewis getting 100 wins — what an incredible feat!!! hope you guys enjoy this one :D

He thinks he sees her from across the room but an extra glance tells him it’s not her. She wouldn’t show up here. That isn’t her — something he’s had to learn ever since she left his life two years ago. He is here with someone new and she reminds him of the stars that never fail to show up in the night sky every night. She is constant and he doesn’t need to second guess with her. She understands who he is and knows what he thinks. He is genuinely happy. But she is not her.

“I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” He says, looking up at the love of his life from where he is kneeling. They are surrounded by his family and their friends. The most important people in their lives that have become an extension of who they are and know how perfect the two of them are for each other. He planned it all out — the intimate dinner full of all the things she loved. Her favorite food, her favorite people. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect. Everyone in this room knew it was only a matter of time until they both took the next step forward in the relationship. In this moment, however, he only sees her. That is how it is whenever she is around. It feels like tunnel vision: all roads lead simply to her.

He has always believed that love was unique to different people. He is, no doubt, in love with his current girlfriend and he is so sure of that. She is the calm before and after every storm. He also knows that despite this, a piece of him and the love he is capable of giving will always remain with Y/N. He will never forget how it felt to love her, just as he knows she won’t ever forget loving him.

Something is wrong. All he sees is her and yet she looks terrified. Tears are forming in her eyes and there is an emotion that he can’t quite place yet. It is an emotion he doesn’t see often. “Y/N?” He whispers, trying to read her. At this moment, he doesn’t care that everyone is standing around the both of them. He just wants to make sure she is okay. She looks away from him and looks around the room. He squeezes her hand, trying to get her to just focus on him. He is trying to reassure her that everything is okay. She looks back at him then at the open small box in his other hand. She starts shaking her head, the tears now falling from her eyes. Everything seems to be going wrong.

“I love you, Lewis.” His girlfriend whispers as he sways her back and forth on the makeshift dance floor. It is his friend’s wedding. “I love you more.” He is satisfied with the way his life has turned out. It was difficult the first few months she had left his life and he honestly thought life wouldn’t be okay again. Everything reminded him of her. There were pieces of her in his apartment and pieces of her everywhere he went. Time passed by so slowly as if it wanted him to sink in the emptiness that came when he lost her. But he met her — she made everything bright again and allowed him to see colors in the world that turned grey. She was patient with him. She took the time to understand him and let him find himself again. He is happy. He is in love.

“I- I can’t.” She whispers, still shaking her head. The tears won’t stop falling from her eyes. He understands the emotion in her eyes now. She is overwhelmed. It is regret. He can feel tears building up in his own. Everything begins to spin around the two of them. “Lewis, I… I can’t.” He tries to remain holding her hand, but she forces hers out of his hold. He looks up at her, speechless. There are so many things he wants to tell her. He wants to tell her to forget about everyone around the two of them. He wants to tell her it doesn’t matter how it happens or that they don’t need to get married right away. He would be happy being engaged forever if it meant she would be by his side. He wants to tell her that they could ditch the party and just lock themselves up in their apartment if that was what she wanted. But he doesn’t. He can’t because she is long gone now. She has run outside of the room and has left him in the center of everyone’s gaze. He cannot move. He is stuck on one knee, with his mother’s ring in his hand. Everything feels like it’s in slow motion. The first thing he does is close the box and drop it in his suit pocket. He slowly stands up, refusing to look at anyone else. He doesn’t know how to react or how to be. Everything is wrong.

While he is leading his girlfriend back to their table, something catches his attention in the corner of his eye. He has to blink a couple of times, trying to register that it is actually her. There, standing by the bar, is the girl who had left him two years ago. She is standing on her own, her body language still very familiar to him. She does not want to be seen and is trying to simply be a faceless stranger in the crowd. She would not be here if she didn’t need to, but his friends are her friends too and the bride is a good friend of hers. “That’s her, isn’t it?” His girlfriend says, following his gaze. “She’s beautiful.” He flashes a smile at her, nodding. “Yeah. I didn’t think she was going to be here, actually. None of us have actually seen her since it happened.” “Do you want to say hi to her?” He fully focuses on his girlfriend now, trying to understand if she is challenging him or simply curious. All he sees is genuine questioning. “I think you should speak to her, Lewis.” He is unsure if that is the right decision. He does not know what he wants to say to her anyway. “Go. It will make you feel better, even if you don’t know what to say.” She gently nudges him towards her and he is left reluctantly walking towards the woman he has not spoken to since she left him kneeling.

“Hi.” Words escape the both of them, the casualness of a greeting seeming so unfitting for the two. “Hi.” She replies. “How ironic that we’re seeing each other here.” He offers, trying to break the ice. He is not used to this, the awkwardness enveloping the two of them when once in the past he felt he could talk about absolutely anything with her. She visibly draws back at the reminder of the last time they had seen each other too. “Why are you here, Lewis?” She asks with a smile on her face. She was never the type to beat around the bush, that much he knew. She always went straight to the point, never afraid to hear things she might not want to. Like ripping off a bandaid, she once said. “I honestly don’t know why either.” There was no point in lying to her. He doesn’t know what to say, neither does she, and yet it felt right that he could speak frankly to her about the events of the past. “You look happy,” She starts, looking genuinely pleased for him. “You deserve to be happy.” Two emotions bubble up inside of him, one he has not felt in ages. Frustration and defeat. It is all coming back to him.

“We could’ve been happy too.”

She sighs, refusing to meet his eyes. She is still surveying the room, taking in everyone celebrating the union of two lovers. He did not like that about her; she always knew how to hide her emotions. Better put, he did not like how he could not read her anymore. “I don’t want to fight you, Lewis. I didn’t come here to do that.” She picks up her glass of champagne that she has left on the counter of the bar, sipping at it. “Dom Pérignon.” She adds. The champagne she is drinking is her favorite and it is the same one that everyone was drinking the night it happened. Or should’ve happened. A wry smile forms on his face. “I know you don’t owe me an explanation nor should you have ever felt you owed me a marriage, but I just wish you talked to me about it. That was our thing. We always talked about it.” She finally meets his eyes, studying him.

“I just didn’t have anything to say.”

“How could you have nothing to say?”

“I did not know what to say.”

“Then you should’ve said that.”

“I did not have a reason, Lewis. Is that what you want to hear? When you got down on one knee, a thousand thoughts were in my head and none of them told me to say yes. I’m so sorry and you know I loved you immensely—I still do—but I could not for the life of me come up with a reason to know for sure I wanted to say yes.” Just like ripping off a bandaid.

He does not know what to say and he wants to laugh at how she is still able to leave him speechless after all this time. “Well, I’m sorry you felt that way.” That is all he is able to say in reply. “I’m sorry I couldn’t say yes.” She finally meets his eyes, the familiar gaze of the woman he once swore he would give everything up for. “My mom wants a sorry too.” He finally says after a while, trying to lighten up the mood. “I miss her.” She replies, a small smile forming on her face. His mom absolutely loved her and held a special place in her heart for her. She was just as crestfallen as he was when she saw what had taken place two years ago. “She misses you too. Everyone kind of misses you too. I don’t understand why you had to disappear.” She shakes her head. “It wasn’t me, Lewis. All of this,” She says, gesturing around the grand ballroom. “Is not me.” “Then why are you here?” He doesn’t mean it as an insult, he just wants to know. She frowns at him. “Because Joe and Louise are my good friends, Lew. I wasn’t planning to stay long, though. I just promised Louise I was going to come by and I keep my promises.” He knows she does. He shakes his head at her. “I didn’t mean it that way. It’s nice to see you again, honestly. Nice to know you’re still alive.” “I know you didn’t. But I just don’t know who I am when I’m here. It’s all so….” She pauses, trying to think of the right word. “Intense? Overwhelming? Heavy? I don’t know. It just makes you feel so small.” He nods but he still can’t grasp that she had felt this way all this time. Maybe he didn’t know her as well as he thought he did. “Don’t blame yourself, Lewis. I can see you doing that now. It was just me.” There is amusement in her eyes and he can’t understand how she is so candid about all of this. “I just don’t understand how I feel like I didn’t- don’t know who you are. I don’t know where it all went wrong.”

She studies him, noting how the creases in his forehead have formed. Something he always does when he is deep in thought. “Lewis, you knew me better than anyone else in this world and I don’t want you to ever feel like you didn’t. What we shared was good, right? It was brilliant.” She offers him a small smile, a consolation for all that has gone on between them. “I will always love you. I don’t think I need to tell you that. You will always be special to me. But what was screaming at me when you got down on one knee was that whatever was happening… It wasn’t right. And I wouldn’t forgive myself if I ever let you go into something so wholeheartedly with me in it half-heartedly. That wouldn’t be fair to you. You deserve someone who would jump into darkness headfirst with you. I hope she is that for you.” She glances around the room again, probably noticing the eyes of spectators that have now noticed the both of you together again. She is beginning to get conscious. The emotions that were beginning to reveal themselves through her eyes are disappearing once again. She is withdrawing. He nods, trying to internalize everything she has just said.

“I’m sorry I lost you. I know you don't want me to apologize, but I’m sorry we ended like that. There are times I wish you were still in my life and there are times I still think about what it would be like if it was us in this position.” His words hang in the air, the both of them looking around the room. “But I’m doing okay. She’s great - I think you two would get along, actually. I honestly hope you’re doing okay. It sucks that I don’t know what you’re doing. I hope you know that you’re still always welcome to just hang out or whatever. Have a chat to update me on your life, Y/N. Don’t be a stranger.” She nods, smiling at him. She drinks the rest of her champagne before setting the glass back on the bar counter. “That is great to hear, Lewis. I still keep up with your races, you know? A hundred wins, you’ve finally done it. No matter what, I am always going to be proud.” She places a hand on his shoulder, a fleeting squeeze on it, then she drops it. “I’ll try not to be one. But either way, just know I’ll always be rooting for you.” She straightens out her dress then tucks her hair behind her ear. “I’ve gotta go.” She says, looking up at him. He tries to remember how she looks in this moment because he knows he doesn’t know the next time their paths will ever cross again. She is in a floor-length dress and her hair falls in waves just by her shoulders. Her eyes alight with assuredness and confidence, something that he now realizes he barely saw back then. She is happy too. That is all that matters. He nods, giving her a small smile. “Goodbye, Y/N.” She smiles back at him too. “Goodbye, Lewis.” She begins to walk away, not once looking back. Just like how it was two years ago.

“Hey, Y/N.” He calls out to her. She is not far enough for him to draw attention. She turns around, her head tiled to the side. “We almost had it all, didn’t we?” She chuckles and he can feel the sadness in it. She nods, still chuckling. “We really did. Cheers.”

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