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#I've read the first book years ago but didn't have the motivation to continue

asherloki · 4 months

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7 and 15 for Sherlock and reader. From the grumpy sunshine affectionate list pretty please 🥺

His summer girl

Sherlock x reader

Word count:- 1261

Fluff

Prompt list, and many others I find endearing!

"Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May.." So on I read as I held my book of Shakespeare's sonnets in front of me. Sonnet 18 is indeed my most favourite. The first time I read it when I was in school, then I read it again for college and then to my delight, there's nothing brighter than a soothing summer's day and if your lover brings such brightness to you, you're indeed lucky. As for my dearest lover, the detective, rather the cold detective as people say sat with me. He held me closer to him with an arm, and as soon as I started reading he put his phone down, shifting his full attention towards me and my reading.

"and summer.." I continued reading until his heavy, beautiful voice continued with me,

"And summer’s lease hath all too short a date;

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines.."

We read the lines together.

"you're prettier than a summer's day" interrupted Mr Sherlock Holmes, wrapping another arm around my waist as we both sat in his chair. Snuggling closer.

"someone's not paying attention to my reading, isnt my voice appealing anymore?" I replied. He, having such a voice himself has often loved poems when I read them even more.

"ofcourse. it's still beautiful, your voice will never cease to be amusing to me, at the least your reading." He answered. Our flat is calm at the moment, no client, no shouting at Mrs Hudson and all. Perfect for a poetry session. Sherlock placed his chin on my shoulder from behind, his breathing touching my skin. Just like the sunrays hitting directly at us from the window.

"you're cute, you know that Mr grumpy?" I said booping his nose lightly, when we first met he was this cold distant man, never quite came to talk to me on his own. However, he listened everytime I read or talked, to be more specific talked in metaphors.

"no, not me, you're cute" he said snuggling more. And I didn't object.

"do you remember, four years ago, when Christopher and I broke up? I was talking to my friends and family on my phone when I quoted, "The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!" you stood outside my door and listened and when I turned to you, you were startled, yet you gave a nod and went away".

He chuckled softly, uff his voice, so close to my ear,

"I do, from Jane Austen's sense and sensibility it was, also because I wondered what love actually is as you talked of it in phone" he replied, "I've often stopped playing violin to listen to you, reading loudly, like that one time when inspector Johnson called me a fool, you were sitting in the kitchen. I felt bad for taking long to solve the case, and I muttered, "perhaps I am" you came quickly and quoted, "The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool" from as you like it by Shakespeare and glanced at him. That ... that motivated me, and in two days I solved it."

I nodded, ofcourse I remember it clearly. I smiled at all the memories of us, from quote talking to trust, trust to friendship, and then here, now as lovers. He doesn't ask for much, isn't like other men who are clingy and... may I dare say like some who are lusty too. He's just him. How come I found him?

"how come I found you?" he asked out aloud, "my summer day? my Sunshine? you filled my world with light. Everyone else seemed to have liked me getting hurt emotionally but you..."

I paused realising he's opening up? he doesn't do it much, so I listened without interrupting,

"you... having you, I feel... I." he stuttered, "I love you, walking by you makes life easier and happier" he finally said, holding me tighter. How come I not love this man? I caressed the back of his hand. However after a few seconds I let go off his grip on me, baffling him slightly, just to face him. To look at him, the vulnerable Sherlock Holmes, which is pretty rare. I leaned on my hand, resting my elbow on the top back of his chair.

"See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.

O, that I were a glove upon that hand

That I might touch that cheek!" he quoted shakespeare, caressing my cheek.

"oh" I said, "well hello Romeo". It made him giggle and me as well.

"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more." I replied.

He thought for a moment, perhaps this time I gave him a good move, "and it's from?" he asked.

"oops, was it a bouncer detective?" I teased and got to see him pout, he's adorable at home, "Emma by Austen ".

He hummed and nodded, point one goes to me. He didn't stop, rather started reciting, "And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm'd;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;"

He continued Shakespeare's sonnet 18. So I, too looked at my book and began reading,

"Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st:"

Sherlock held me even closer as he recited next lines looking at me,

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,

So long lives this,"

Then I continued with him, reciting my favourite line, "and this gives life to thee".

And we sat in silence, looking into eachother's eyes. The closeness and silence never bothered us. His green eyes gazing at me made me blush and I looked down, smiling softly. Remembering some time has passed perhaps, since we sat like this, so to break the silence I said, "You know what Sherlock" I got up, "I wanna read something casual" saying so I went to look for a contemporary romance novel in our bookshelf when my dearest lover rolled his eyes and said,

"you mean those smutty books, that gives you weird fantasies and you ask me to imitate that in bed?"

I giggled, because that's what I do, I read smuts, get an idea and ask him to do it, "well" I said looking at him, "you don't wanna do it?"

He smiled, shaking his head he replied, "I can't say no to you, can I?"

He too knows how much he likes to have control in bed, and I give him all of that. Was that too private to share? I turned around to choose a book when

I heard his soft footsteps, walking towards me, I turned to him and raised my brows,

"what now detective?"

He said nothing instead came closer and cupped my face, I love it, his big strong hands cupping my cheeks, he leaned to me then said,

"Make me immortal with a kiss"

And his lips met mine. Here, in this flat, the winter man kissed his summer girl. My detective, considered to the cold one met me, the sun girl they say. And the spring that blossomed in our hearts, hope it never fades away.

#bbc sherlock #sherlock x reader #sherlock x y/n #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock x you

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burnin0akleaves · 2 months

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Hey! Sorry for popping in as anon, I'm genuinely not sure if some of the things I'm going to say are going to be nice, and I am a coward. But this is regarding you quitting to post in the RA fandom. If you consider my opinion on this as unwanted/unnecessary, do not feel obliged to reply. (Though I honestly think you never feel like that anyway)

I first saw your art when I joined the RA tag a while ago, and I thought to myself: 'Huh. Nice art, not my cup of tea though.' Since then, you have changed my mind. Your obsession with TRR Will and repeated posting about it not only has changed my thoughts on your art (I've really grown to like it) but also on the character of Will himself. I was on Reddit during that massive TRR Will hate phase and some of these posts had really tainted my view. You changed that and I am so grateful for that. Not seeing your art anymore will be sad, but I suppose my own lack of interaction is to blame for that. I made my bed so now I sleep in it. Your reaction to stop posting is justified and understandable, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to miss seeing your TRR Will on my dash.

Who knows what the RA movie (if it ever does come out) will do to this fandom, but I hope that new faces might get things swinging enough again for you to rejoin the fandom. Lastly, I have to say that for me, you've been a legend in this fandom, and will continue to be one, even if you focus on other things from now on.

Well hello there, this was unexpected. First of all thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to write to me! The reception to that post has been overwhelmingly positive even though it hasn't been up for that long and it makes me feel very glad I finally pushed myself to write that official goodbye message.

I don't know who you are and I don't really have any guesses, your message implies you didn't interact with my posts a lot so maybe I saw you around only a few times (?), but you have no idea how much this means to me. Throughout most of my time in the fandom my main goal was always to change people's minds about TRR and more specifically, TRR Will. I've heard that I succeeded many times and honestly, that was one of the biggest reasons I could keep myself so pumped up about a book series I read all the way back when I was in middle school (<- an adult saying this)

Seeing people go from "Cool post, not my thing though." to "Well I can kind of see what you mean when you say it like that." to "I agree, this does sound pretty good!" was both my biggest source of pride and motivator here. Hearing you say I changed your mind just now has the same effect on me, it almost makes me want to rush to my computer to draw or write about Will.

Also, extremely bold of you to say you didn't like my art at first motherfucker /j

Speaking seriously though, my art style practically grew here. When I first joined the fandom I was NOT good; hell, I can't look past anything before July of last year still. Maybe it was just me improving artistically that helped you warm up to my stuff more. I really really hope the new artists have that kind of experience too! You get obsessed with a little guy and then your brain decides to level up as fast as possible. TRR Will is that little guy for me.

Your last words are so, so kind. The way you speak about me here in general is extremely kind. I'm glad I was able to leave a good impression. And you're right, maybe all I need is a break and when I come back this space will feel more fitting again.

Like I said, I still have lots of connections to this fandom via others. I'm still technically helping out with the Gathering stuff, so maybe I'll work on doing a prompt or two still! I'm also a mod in the NSFW server and I love that place, I'm not leaving it anytime soon. If more TRR books come out you can bet I won't be able to shut up about them anyway, if I don't make at least one post then assume I'm dead.

What I'm trying to say is, I'll be around! Our paths will cross again.

PS: The entirety of the RA subreddit can suck my dick. I'm gatekeeping older, experienced Will from all of them. None of them deserve him.

#sorry for how long this got #wanted it to feel like a chat with everyone since i dont know how many people will stick around or for how long #talking to my audience one last time /j #🍂 textpost

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spore-crossed · 6 months

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Welcome to my blog: Spore Crossed! This is *suposed* to be my art blog, however sometimes I get really anxious and don't post anything for like...years. I'm slowly overcoming that curve, however! And I really hope to post more in the future! (it's a dream I have and hope to complete)

Unfortunately on my part, this is not the greatest attempt at making a 'meet the artist' post, and I feel like it was rushed. However, despite my perfectionist nature, I'll post it anyway!

So, a couple of things I want to establish on my pinned post (my first one hehe) is that I do NOT condone any sort of hatred on my blog. This is my blog and I have the right to block anyone. If I see any racism, homophobia, transphobia, and hate of any kind to myself or anyone else, I will not hesitate to block and report if needs be.

Negativity out of the way, Bonjour! You may call me Mena! As stated in my bio, this is my art blog (along with other things that have inspired me throughout the years). I mostly post about my ocs and my projects I'm working on, and I'm slowly working up the courage to post more content.

Currently I'm working on two projects:

Enigma: my main story I created years ago with help from my good friend @delphi-3. It's a strange story -honestly- where the characters themselves are the representation of phobias (aka: Thalassophobia - fear of the ocean). It was originally supposed to be a small project for myself to help me get through some really tough times in my life, but now I want to create it into a comic series and a physical book. This project goes through some heavy topics, but I try to keep it lighthearted as it's meant for a teenage audience. The main character struggles with his identity as he tries to make sense of the world around him and who he is, all the while there's some darkness lurking under the shadows that he's a puppet of, but not aware. (kinda corny sounding ik but believe me it wouldn't be worth working on it for 4+ years now if it was really bad)

Suneater: this is a project I've been working on myself and I'm not quite sure exactly where it's going. I'm leaning more towards comic or written book if I have the motivation to continue it. It's about aliens and cowboys...more importantly: alien cowboys. It's for a more mature audience that can handle gore and dark themes, and alien cowboys. I don't frequently have a lot of art, but I adore the characters and wish to develop them more. This story is about the main character being 'hollow' and how he's a sacrifice to raise a dead god. And if I didn't say this enough: alien cowboys :D

For both of these stories, as I post the characters, I will also tag their names so if you wish to know more about a certain character you can jump right to them.

Also! Feel free to ask me anything about me or my characters if you have questions! I don't bite, I promise. The only thing I ask is that you aren't too explicit with the asks. It makes me uncomfortable.

Please ask to use my art and also do not repost my art without my permission. I know people are going to be mean and do it anyway, but if you do, be warned that I will come to haunt you and chase you up the stairs at night.

(I'm not worthy of fan art but if you'd like to draw my characters feel free. Please tag me so I can see it! I'll cry from joy)

Unless asked for: constructive criticism is not allowed. References usually come from Pinterest and the links will be posted to the original artist or photography in the post.

Some fandoms I'm in:

Legend of Zelda

Fullmetal Alchemist

Twisted Wonderland

Anything Shakespeare (that I've read honestly)

The Belgariad (it's dead ik)

Fire Emblem - mainly three houses

Subnautica

I'm still a beginning artist and I'm going to school to learn how to be better, so I'll also dump some of the projects I'm working on here since it is my art blog.

Instagram: ʂ℘ơཞɛ ƈཞơʂʂɛɖ (@spore_crossed_inc) | Instagram profile

Thanks for reading! You're so kind have a frog as my appreciation:

#meet the artist #long post #get to know me #sona: xero

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travasourus-rex · 5 months

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A Prince's Legacy Revisted

Hindsight's funny thing. I wrote the first chapter of A Prince's Legacy 6 years ago simply wanted to tell the story of Hunter Prince, and how Wonder Woman choosing to raise a son with the guidance and love of the Amazons wouldn't make her less of an Amazon herself after the comic book story arc where Hunter's character appears in wasted the potential of the of the idea pissed me off to no end. (It still does.) Honestly, I felt like I could give the idea the justice it deserves when I wrote the first chapter and I never anticipated this story to grow in popularity like it has.

But it's been a few years, and I've written so much fanfiction since, always feeling like I'm improving my writing style with each new chapter I post, so I wanted the story I still care very much about to reflect that. I have spent the last two weeks not rewriting the first 2 chapters of A Prince's Legacy, but revising them to add more dialog, more descriptive actions in scenes to help the story flow better, a greater understanding of what is going on in a character's thoughts in certain moments of the story, changing some aspects entirely that didn't make sense or stick the landing as well as I would've liked first time around,and I plan to continue the revision process with every chapter up to the most current one. The process is slow going through as I got an actual job in the big scary real world during the last two years that takes up most of my free time and energy more days than not, so I ask that fans of the series bear with me.

Some highlights of the first two chapters are:

A deeper conversation between Hippolyta and baby Hunter in the introductory scene of the first chapter.

A different scene between Diana and Hunter after the 15 year time skip.

A more fleshed out motivation for Lorena that dives deeper into her love for Arthur and Mera as well as Atlantis.

A deeper familial bond for Lorena with Arthur and Mera explicitly stating they consider Lorena to be their daughter, and Lorena stating she considers them to be her parents.

Showcasing Lorena's Aqua-Kinetic abilities way earlier in the story.

Longer and more detailed action sequences in chapter 2, and Lorena being more of a badass during those sequences.

Giving Mera more than two lines of dialog and an action sequence during chapter 2 instead of having her constantly worrying the children. (Like that meme from The Simpsons)

Mera challenging Diana directly about what they are willing to give up for the sake of their children.

Hopefully, the beginning of a more well-rounded story.

Link for chapter 1: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12471716/chapters/28385328

Link for chapter 2: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12471716/chapters/30147915

Lastly, I want to thank everyone who has continued to read this story and love the characters as much as I do, and I hope to keep entertaining you all as the story goes on. Thank you.

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a-multilingual-dream · 1 year

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Hello!

My name is Juliet. I recently finished my masters degree in sociolinguistics, and then moved to France to work for a travel company. I used my first three months of living in this new country and working full time to get settled in, but now I'm ready to get back to my language studies!

And what better place to get motivation than here ;)

Let me introduce the languages that i speak / want to speak:

🇩🇪 German 🇩🇪 (Native)

This is my mother tongue and i actually have a certificate to teach German as a foreign language - i love teaching it, so if anyone needs help, don't hesitate to contact me.

🇺🇲 English 🇺🇲 (C1 / C2)

I started learning English at 12 years old in high school, and later taught myself by reading English books and watching English tv shows. My master program was mostly in English and i actually wrote my thesis in English, so I'm pretty comfortable with the language.

🇨🇵 French 🇨🇵 (C1)

Oh French - my love and my enemy. I grew up next to the French border and starting learning it in 5th grade. I proceeded to do 2 student exchanges in France, spent a year as an au pair in Paris, later did my Erasmus semester in Paris and recently moved back to France. I love France, i love French - and the pressure is high to speak it fluently. This actually makes me pretty self-conscious when speaking it, which in turn makes me worse at it. By moving to France, i hope to really improve my language skills, especially my vocabulary.

🇮🇹 Italian 🇮🇹 (B1)

Italian is my favorite language in the world, and Italy is my favorite country in the world. I just love everything about it, which is why I decided to learn Italian a few years ago. I have been studying it on and off for about 4 years, a mix of beginner classes at my university and self study. After finishing my masters this spring, i spent the summer traveling through Italy and ended the trip with a 2 week language course in Torino, and it was absolutely amazing! I'm excited to keep learning and to hopefully go back to Italy many times :)

🇯🇵 Japanese 🇯🇵 (beginner)

I've been wanting to study Japanese for sooo long, i think it's been 5 years since i bought my first Japanese language book. 5 years later, do i speak any Japanese? Nope. I can read and write hiragana and katakana, quite a few kanji, and i know basic sentence structure. But that's it. I think it's soo interesting to learn all about a language that's completely different from all the languages i know, but that also makes it challenging to learn it all by myself. I had planned and booked a 6-week language course in Tokyo in the summer of 2020, and was soo excited that i cried when I booked it. Well, I cried even more when the whole trip got cancelled bc of COVID... After that i didn't really get back into studying it, although I'm still as interested in it as ever. So I've been thinking about trying out italki this year... I will try to make a decision about how to go forward with my Japanese study during January.

~Other~

If i had the time to study more languages (which at the moment i absolutely do not, but life is long) i would be interested in Chinese and Korean. After getting to know the basics of Japanese i find it really fascinating to learn a whole new writing system and a completely different grammar, and although I've had absolutely no connection to Asia so far in my life, i absolutely want to travel there and learn more about its numerous languages (which i know aren't just Japanese, Chinese and Korean 😉). It's just like there's a whole new world to explore there!

So that was my (not so short) introduction. I'll be looking for langblrs that post more or less about the languages I'm learning, so if anyone who studies any of my languages sees this post, don't hesitate to leave a like and I'll have a look at your account!

To be continued...

#langblr #studyblr #German #English #French #Italian #Japanese #Chinese #languages #langblr reactivation challenge

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mister-writes · 9 months

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I was just thinking this week about how much I love and am grateful for the writing group I have (and how they differ from other writing groups I've had haha) so I thought I'd write some things I've noticed about them. Hopefully this will be helpful for someone who is either looking for a writing group, or someone who is *in* a writing group that they aren't quite sure about!

WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A WRITING GROUP:

Look for people who read what you write, and people who write what you read. As a fantasy writer who has little to no experience in romance (writing or in real life), I wouldn't be able to provide genre-appropriate critiques for someone who was writing a solid romance novel. In the same vein, someone who enjoys mostly historical fiction might struggle reading 5000 words of fantasy drivel. You want to be able to enjoy reading what people share in your writing group, and you want to be sure they have experience in critiquing your type of writing.

Look for people who can provide specific praise for your book as well as specific critiques. First of all, getting only negative feedback is NOT fun. Secondly, and maybe more important, you're not going to know what to *keep* doing if someone doesn't point it out. Getting a vague "it was good" from your group doesn't really guide you going forward. Getting "I love the descriptions you added for the setting" DOES give you some important things to consider as you continue writing.

Look for people who are honest and specific in their critiques. It's no use to you or anyone if they don't tell you what they really think. Hearing a bland "it was good" or "Idk, I didn't really vibe with it" aren't helpful in any way. I've been in groups where people are so "nice" that they don't give more than gentle, general critiques when a more thorough read would be more beneficial. BUT critiques should also be something that you can act on, too- someone saying "I don't like middle grade fantasies, so you should change it" isn't helpful for someone that is writing a middle grade fantasy.

Look for people who can adapt their critiques as needed. More than once, a person in my writing group has come out of a slump and submitted a chapter with a note that hey, they're not feeling super motivated right now, could we please go gentle on the negative feedback? And so far my group has ALWAYS risen to the challenge, heaping up the praise and motivation while keeping revisions to a minimum. On top of that, they critique each other at the level that they're at; the person that just started writing a year ago isn't going to get the same type of critiques as the person that writes some of the most evocative prose I've ever seen. Feedback should push you to improve, but it shouldn't be something way above your level.

Look for a group that isn't afraid to disagree. Sometimes I disagree with a point of critique that someone else brings up on my work. Sometimes I disagree with a point someone brings up about another person's work. Whenever this happens, I can respectfully add my own point with the knowledge that the other person won't get defensive about it. Different opinions can exist on the same piece of work, and that's fine.

However, Look for people that won't push back against every piece of negative feedback they get. I think it's natural to get a little defensive about something you worked hard on. But a group is only effective if you learn to consider and integrate (or reject!) the feedback given to you. If people in the group feel the need to constantly argue or justify themselves, you won't have a productive session.

Look for people who share some of the same (major) values as you. This one didn't really come to light at first, but as I've gotten to know the group members better, it's nice to know that no one is going to freak out if one of our writers introduces an LGBT character.

And finally, Look for people you trust. One of the reasons I benefit so much from these critiques is that I respect my group members and trust their opinions on writing. I've been in other groups where I took literally everything they said to me with a grain of salt because I didn't actually trust their opinions.

I hope this is at least moderately helpful to someone, because getting into a writing group is probably the only reason I'm writing so consistently today.

Happy writing everyone!

#writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writers of tumblr #long post #i hope this isn't too rambling lol #but this is genuinely why i enjoy writing so much right now #mr writes

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theinquisitxor · 1 year

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Best and Worst Series of 2022 Book Tag

I saw a booktuber do a video of these questions and I really liked them, so thought that I could answer them here! Credit goes to bookslikewhoa on youtube. Feel free repost and add your own answers!

In total I read 21 series in some shape or form:

I read and completed 7 series this year (meaning I read books 1-- end)

I finished/wrapped up 2 series this year

I started 4 series

I caught up with 3 series

I continued with 1 series

I DNF'ed 5 series

1.What is the best series that you caught up with this year that is still a work in progress? I caught up with the Atlas Six series by Olivie Blake this year as I read books 1 and 2. Book 2 is my favorite, and it's proven to be a fun read.

2.What is the best work-in-progress series that you are still catching up with? OR What is the best completed series that you are still catching up with? Probably the Wayward Children series by Seanan McGuire. I've only read the first two books, but need to prioritize getting to the rest. In fact, I didn't read one of these this year.

3.What was your favorite first book in a series this year? I have to go with Tess of the Road by Rachel Hartman. I adore that book, and I reread it this year in anticipation for the sequel (the sequel was interesting to say the least-- it was quite different from the first book, and I'm still not sure if I liked it?)

4.What is a first book in a series you read this year that you think should have been a standalone, not a series? This one is tough, but I'll have to go with Book of Night by Holly Black. I found this overall very lackluster, and the story could have been wrapped up in one book.

5.What is your most over-hyped series of the year? Definitely Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. I read books 1-3 this year, and while enjoyed the original trilogy for sure, they're not the best thing I've ever read. (I think Sanderson is a little over-hyped in general)

6.What is a series that you DNFed this year? I just finished One Dark Window by Rachel Gillig a couple of days ago, and I'm probably not going to read the sequel when it comes out next fall. Same goes with Book of Night by Holly Black and A Spindle Splintered by Alix E Harrow. I also attempted to read The Magicians by Lev Grossman, but ended up dnf'ing the book, so I'm def not reading the rest.

7.What was your favorite series finale of the year? OR What was your least favorite series finale of the year? My favorite series finale was Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee. That was such a satisfying ending to one of my favorite series and I was very happy with that book. It lived up to all my expectations.

8.What was the biggest cliffhanger you had in a series this year? The ending of House of Sky and Breath. How can you leave me like that SJM?! I have to wait potentially years for the next one, ughhhh!

I also reread The Other Side of the Sky by Amy Kaufman and Meghan Spooner (which ends with quite the cliffhanger!) and then the sequel, Beyond the End of the World.

9.What is your favorite spin-off series you read this year? Perfect question, as I read Forging Silver into Stars by Brigid Kemmerer this month and loved it. It's a spinoff of her ACSDAL series.

10.What is your most anticipated next book in a series that you read this year that will come out next year? I don't think I have any? Unless The Atlas Complex releases late next year, but I don't see a date yet for it.

11.What is your most anticipated series to catch up on with next year based on what you read in that series this year? Possibly The Expanse by James SA Corey, but primarily because that is the only series that fits this prompt. I read two more Expanse books this year, and I just want to push through and finish the series up next year. I feel like I've lost my motivation and interest in that series, but maybe starting to re-watch the show might rekindle that.

12.What was your favorite series that you finished this year? I started and finished The Queen's Thief series this year, and that has been by far a favorite.

13.What is your favorite episodic series of this year? I am currently reading The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett, the first book of the Kingsbridge series. Each book takes place at a different point in the middle ages and don't have to be read in order.

14.What is a series you finally bailed on after holding onto it for a long time? I don't have quite the accurate answer for this, but I had been meaning to try reading An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir for years, but I read the first book and didn't like it. So you could say I bailed that series

15.What is the series you were most surprised you liked this year? I have to answer with A Deadly Education (The Scholomance) by Naomi Novik. I had heard mixed things about the first book, but I ultimately enjoyed it, and I went on to really like books 2 & 3. I was also a little hesitant about the premise of the series, but I also ultimately had a lot of fun with it.

16.What is the series you meant to catch up with or finish this year that you didn't? The Expanse again, I only read two books, and I wanted to finish it this coming year.

17.What is a series you finished or caught up with this year that you think is greater than the sum of its parts? Probably the Throne of Glass series by SJM. I reread this series in the beginning of the year, and while I enjoy it overall, some books are weaker than others.

If you're still here and reading, here are all the series I read this year. This is obviously more for my record keeping than anything else!

House of Earth and Blood (reread) + House of Sky and Breath

The Other Side of the Sky (reread) + Beyond the End of the World (sequel) (completed)

Throne of Glass series (reread all 7)

Expanse 5 & 6

A Spindle Splintered (series DNF)

Tess of the Road (reread) + In the Serpents Wake (sequel) (completed)

Jade Legacy (complete)

Parable of the Talents (complete)

An Ember in the Ashes (series DNF)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (reread all 5 on audio)

Book of Night (series DNF)

The Atlas Six + The Atlas Paradox

The Scholomance (read all 3, completed)

Mistborn (read all 3, completed, partial audio)

The Queen's Thief (read all 6, completed)

Seasparrow

Moon Witch, Spider King

Forging Silver into Stars

The Magicians (DNF)

One Dark Window (series DNF?)

The Pillars of the Earth

#haha that's a lot #best and worst series book tag #book tag #book series #reading stats #bookblr #series #book tag game #feel free to copy/paste your own answers in #I'm a little insane I know #and I plan to start more series next year lmaoo

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oscarseyebrow · 2 years

Note

Came back here to say two things and I already apologise because I'm spilling my guts here lol . First: I confess that started watching The Mandalorian few months ago mainly because I've found your blog - I was obsessed with Aphelion and thought 'Oh, this story might be very good as well, let me watch the series first to understand' - and now I am so obsessed with the show I even started watching The Book of Boba Fett (which I didn't intend to watch at all). Until the pandemic, I've never was too drawn to the Star Wars fandom, I watched the last triology of movies in the cinemas more because of my father - I went to watch all the movies during the lockdown, but even after that I didn't get THAT exiceted about it, just started developing a small crush on Poe Dameron (and Oscar as well). It was only this year when I saw the trailer from Moon Knight that I started to search for fanfics of Poe (makes no sense, but I had to supress my need for Oscar Isaac lol) and that's when I found your blog haha Anyway, such a long story to say that I'm very thankful for your amazing, excelent, incredible, perfect writing that got me motivated to watch these amazing series. Not even my dad, or friends or ex boyfriend had this power of persuasion lol And about chapter 6 of Hurricane that I read this morning: I thought that everything would be fine and then Mando it's threating to kill her - but I'm glad that it seems that they're good now, I'm little afraid of what comes next on chapter 7 lol

P.S.: This gif represents my inner self while reading the beginning of the chapter

okay, so. i read this as soon as you sent it and i've been thinking about it ever since but i wanted to wait and give it a proper reply. it still makes me so ALSDHASDASJDHAD whenever i think about how lovely this is 🥺

i absolutely love that you started watching the mandalorian after finding my blog. i'm so incredibly thankful that you found me and decided to stick around in the fandom, your thoughtful messages are so kind and i really love that you take the time to share your thoughts.

i hope that you continue to enjoy the content that you find in these fandoms and i also hope that hurricane doesn't break your heart too much by the time you reach the end of it haha.

have a wonderful day 💖

#inbox things #still sitting over here like 🥺🥺🥺

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probablynotnothing · 27 days

Text

Stopping pursuing my college degree

I have done school for two 6 month terms, and the classes are only getting more intensive (for example, learning Excel spreadsheets). Every day my happiness and comfort is drained from the dread of forcing myself to pursue a degree I don't really want, in a format that is exceptionally difficult for me (online school with distant instructors).

I'm committed not to discontinue the pursuit of my degree with a sense of failure, and to embrace my feelings of relief and interest in pursuing a dog training certification and potentially grooming also.

I accept my life doesn't support me going through these courses right now, and maybe not ever- It's possible too that online school simply isn't for me, and that I learn best in other ways. I've always thrived with hands-on learning, or being taught directly by a person I trust and can ask questions and get instant feedback from. I thrive in environments with classmates, colleagues and peers I can learn together with and really feel like I'm a part of a community.

I have earned credits I can do something with in the future if I choose to go to another college, which is nice to keep in mind.

I have been getting a degree in Business Administration because I want to operate or co-operate a business. I was driven to the idea of college in the first place out of fear that I didn't know what career I wanted to pursue and wanted to have a sense of employment security, and being weighed down by immense toxic shame and trauma, and suicidal thoughts I chose online college as a step to give myself hope and a sense of security fo my future in the face of the unknowns. I simply had in my head that I could never be homeless again, or reliant on relatives again, or financially dependent in a disrespectful relationship again.

I am thinking, as I learn more about my advantages and disadvantages, take my preferences seriously, and approach myself with empathy, compassion, and hope, that I'm proud of myself for having the courage to even start taking my college courses a year ago as an act of self protection, responsibility, self confidence, and protecting my mental health and hope. That's pretty cool. And that's what is always necessary in life - having the courage to pursue something, anything, in order to get more information to have an informed understanding of the thing. I did that and learned that online school doesn't work for my learning style, and in the meantime was able to work with dogs and realize I want to be certified as a dog trainer.

Everything I need to own my own business I can learn through courses that support people to do so.

I don't need a degree to have confidence or know-how; the key is self compassion, continuing to practice optimism, learning how to stand up for myself and communicate simply and true to me, so that I can be more in control of my destiny. This is the perspective through which I will carve out a stable, healthy, rewarding life path that can be full of pride and doing things I enjoy. These are the attitudes through which I will find the environments where I can breathe, learn and be supported, genuinely support others, and be excited about what I am doing, and where the challenges are bearable, rewarding, and I'm intrinsically motivated to go for it, because I actually like it!

I can always return to school in the future, or to a different school which is more compatible with my learning style (in person, with people, hands-on, etc).

I have options - to learn business administration skills through individual classes, reading books, workshops etc or through hiring people, and just learning from fellow people; and to get certified in things that will make me very employable and which I have a natural inclination in like dog training and grooming.

I don't need to try to earn a huge salary. I can pool money together someday with my chosen family in order to purchase land, form a land trust, and build a home. And I can buy a house or rent in the meantime during however many decades it takes.

I want to help be a part of the revolution to work with and not against our natural preferences, advantages and disadvantages, in order to find compatible environments, people, and lifestyles. Life is to be enjoyed and soaked up, not to be rushed through in pursuit of mere survival.

For now, I'll be working for Amazon to pay my bills, work on budgeting, prioritize fun, relaxation and optimism, and find opportunities to pursue dog training in my spare time. That sounds much more like "me", and makes me feel excited to be a part of life.

#college #online school #life path #employment #career

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meli-r · 10 months

Text

Redemption v2.2

I've finally dared to edit my first fic with scenes I always had in mind but didn't manage to add to the story. I'm also fixing the long descriptions I used to do years ago. It hurts my eyes to read how I used to write, even though I keep trying to improve my writing. The principal's dialogue didn't exist but I created it to better show an OC and her motivations. Feedback is greatly appreciated :)

*****

Sitting on the edge of a building, with a book in her hands and her gaze lost in the city, Yashiro thought about the challenges ahead as her gray eyes lingered on the tall, thin, imposing Public Safety Bureau building in the distance and the surrounding skyscrapers.

Getting to her feet, she walked to the rooftop door putting the book away and slung her backpack on her back. Then she stopped and turned around again, running to the edge and jumping towards a building two meters away below.

She kept running, jumping over air conditioning units installed to climate the building's interiors. She stopped at a narrow edge for several seconds before jumping over the next building, landing on her feet on a wall. Resting a hand on it to lower herself to the ground, she continued running down the outside hallway.

Crossing a door, she entered another empty hallway where she turned left, and walked to catch her breath. She opened another door and came to an all-white office, with synthetic plants and a column that read the name of a company. A man in a suit using his cell phone in front of a counter looked up at her.

Yashiro touched a button on the wall and waited for the elevator. A young woman sitting at the counter raised her head and looked at her from behind a glass, but it was the man who began to approach. When Yashiro entered the elevator with a quick movement, she pressed the sub-floor button. The man stopped and frowned at the sight of her beige skirt and white blouse crumpled as the door closed. Yashiro turned to the elevator mirror, tossing long strands of brown hair back.

Reaching the basement, she walked down another neat hallway until she reached the street. There was a lot of movement and noise in Tokyo at that time of the morning, and she mingled among the people crossing a small square and approaching the street. Cars were coming and going, and buildings had huge billboards with neon lights.

Finally, with quick, casual steps, she reached the entrance of the Oso Academy. At that moment, Yashiro felt alive, connected to every part of the city she had walked through. It was as if every jump and every movement had released something inside her. The school had walls and trees surrounding it and separating it from the city like a medieval fortress that contrasted with the modernism outside.

She hurried her pace, crossing the garden decorated by a central statue and returning the greetings of some students she met on her way. As Yashiro passed, people turned to watch her. Some would glare at her, suddenly wary. They could not explain why they did so. Two by two she climbed the steps of the wide staircase. The principal's office was medium-sized, with a dark gray floor and beige walls. The furniture was clean and in perfect condition. There was a bookshelf and some pictures related to the history of the academy. When Yashiro entered the room, the face framed by a light gray lock beard of the principal, who was dressed in a black suit, focused on her.

"Takahashi-san, thank you for coming. Please have a seat. We have some important matters we need to discuss."

The principal smiled, clasping his hands on his desk, but the silence lingered, waiting for an apology that never came. Yashiro gazed at the man standing at the side of the office. Wearing a black vest, red tie and white shirt, Touma Kouzaburou watched her with a serious expression, between brown locks that fell to the mole under his left eye. Taking a seat, she turned to the principal, who cleared his voice.

"First, we have noticed that you have been missing some exams without giving any justification and arriving late to class. This is not acceptable in our school, where a high level of discipline and responsibility is expected. You have always been an excellent student in all subjects, can you explain why this has been happening?"

“I have been busy with other projects and personal commitments. I take responsibility."

"I understand that we all face challenges in life. I appreciate your honesty about that. But it's important that you find a way to manage them without affecting your academic performance. We are here to support you, but you need to communicate with us if you face problems that affect your studies. You have been an exemplary student so far, and it would be a shame to see your performance suffer in these last few months. I urge you to strive to maintain academic excellence to the end."

The principal paused, but Yashiro's eyes prompted him to keep talking.

"In view of these circumstances, I believe it is necessary to take disciplinary measures to ensure that you understand the importance of attendance and punctuality. However, before making a decision, I would like to hear your opinion, Touma-kun."

“Takahashi-san is an excellent student, but she needs to be reminded that talent alone is helpless in life. The idea that talent can survive all obstacles is a childish fallacy. Success requires both talent and luck. And just like opportunities, luck must be constantly helped along and provided by someone. The rarest plants are usually the most fragile and the first to perish in the face of hardships,” Touma paused and turned to Yashiro. “It takes a tough skin to face existence. Imagine those rare plants struggling to survive in a harsh winter or being mercilessly swept away by the wind. Do you believe they can withstand such adversity, let alone grow? I think not.”

The principal looked at them for a few seconds, noticing how Yashiro was frowning with her gaze fixed on Touma.

"This brings us to the second matter I wanted to discuss. We have received information that you have been involved in a science club, even though you are not an official member. Is this true?"

“It is," Yashiro looked at the principal.

“And that you have been participating in some of their activities and research. The club has research interests in the psycho pass and have been questioning its efficacy.”

“That’s true.”

"All those ideas, who gave them to you? Anyway, I don't know whether to call it authentic style, contradicting not only the principles that this academy tries to instill but those of society. Some consider you a revolutionary, and you may think you are one yourself, but you're not even that... what you're doing is crazy, sorry to put it that way."

“It's okay, it doesn't bother me.”

“You may be pleased to know that at a past meeting there was a tiny group of teachers who stood up for you. Unfortunately, those who criticized the club's actions outnumbered the rest. Civics teacher Yamazaki made this a personal matter, going so far as to mention the expulsion of everyone involved. Please note that you have provoked Yamazaki-sensei more than once.”

“Yes, I did.”

"That's the problem. Your attitude to ethics and morals. You never gave it the necessary attention. And yet you are an excellent student in all other subjects. No one denies the importance of arithmetic, history and economics, but why ignore values, the more... human part, so to speak? It's true that technical and scientific subjects are crucial for your development in the academy and for your future career. However, we must also remember that ethics and morals play an essential role in society and in making fundamental decisions in life. While you may have differences with some professors on these subjects, it's important to find a balance and value the importance of ethical reflection in your future actions and choices.”

"Is it worth discussing my choice of subjects now?"

“I'm trying to help you. You must recognize that you have been warned several times before all this happened.”

“I know.”

The principal shifted in his chair. Yashiro's eyes were fixed on him politely, only it made him feel as if he was not in that room.

"I heard about certain concerns that arose among professors regarding the lack of consistency in your work. When you were given the freedom to choose style and subject matter, professors would approve your projects without knowing how to fit those… quirks into a larger context. But when you were given a particular style, they expected to see the reflection of that approach in your creations, and instead, they were met with your excessive and unpredictable interpretations that did not fit what was required.

"While your partner Kaneko-san, a member of the club, transformed surrealism into dull, passionless modern houses, displaying a cold and disconnected view of art, you chose extremist themes that reflect a lack of understanding about the importance of collectivity and general welfare. Would you say that's doing the job you were instructed to do or insubordination?"

“Insubordination.”

"We have considered giving you a chance because of your outstanding achievements in all other subjects, but when you turn national job creation and promotion of local industries into a criticism of Sibyl and isolationism policies... really, it's already too much. I must say that I am deeply concerned about the direction you are taking with your ideas. Your questioning approach goes against the fundamental principles on which our society is based.

"It’s important for you to understand that Sibyl is a system established to maintain peace and security in our community. Your suggestions to open up to the world and eliminate import substitution industrialization could have devastating consequences for our security and well-being, jeopardizing the order and stability we have built.

"Oso Academy is a place for learning and development, but it's also a place for discipline and respect for established institutions. Your extreme views can have a negative impact on our students and community cohesion. I urge you to reconsider your views and align yourself with the policies and values we have established at this institution, as well as understand the policies that govern our society, rather than blindly defying them. How do you expect to be passed after all this?"

“I never expected them to.”

"Kaneko-san said exactly the same thing. You also leave us no choice at this point. You probably have a grudge against us..."

“I don’t,” Yashiro replied coolly.

Touma looked at her. The principal blinked silently for a few seconds, until he leaned forward with a smile.

"It's not in your best interest to take that attitude, especially after what I have to say. Why don't you take a few days to rest and think about your actions? Then there may be a chance to admit you to the club, any club you like. No promises, but consider it. For a student with such a good academic record, it's a real opportunity."

"Why do you assume I want to join that club?" Yashiro responded.

"Huh? Well, most students join a club."

“I have nothing more to learn here.”

“Say again?”

"My reasons don't concern you."

"I don't understand you," the principal said firmly.

Touma slowly turned his head towards Yashiro, not taking his eyes off the principal.

"Takahashi-san," Touma's voice was soft, but it made her look at him. "Please refrain from making such comments."

“No. I want to hear it. Please, explain yourself.”

"I understand that you may be concerned about the reputation of the academy and the possible subsidies we receive, but truth and freedom of expression are fundamental to an education," explained Yashiro.

"How dare you question our sources of funding and stability?" the principal's eyes grew wider.

"Interests can have a significant impact on the academy and the decisions made. Not only in politics, but also in research and other areas. If a researcher or academic staff member has personal or professional interests that influence their perspective, this can affect the objectivity and impartiality of their actions.

"Let's imagine that an academic is conducting research on an important topic. If that researcher has personal or institutional interests that lead him to favor or endorse it, there's a possibility that his approach and conclusions are biased. There could be a tendency to present only those results that support its efficacy, while ignoring or minimizing those that question its validity or raise doubts about its performance.

"Moreover, a lack of transparency in the disclosure of potential conflicts of interest and the methodology used in research can undermine confidence in the findings and the integrity of the academy as a whole. That's why it's good to promote transparency, peer review and critical debate to ensure that research is rigorous, unbiased and based on solid evidence.

"As students, we are here to learn. We should not be afraid of debate and discussion, but embrace it as an opportunity for improvement. It's important to keep an open mind and be willing to consider different perspectives and approaches."

"I don't need lectures on how things work in the academy. You're just a student, and you don't have the experience or the full understanding of how decisions are made here."

“That doesn't invalidate my concerns about objectivity in the academy.”

"Your concerns are nothing more than the ramblings of an idealistic student. The academy has its own procedures and standards, and you won't be the one to question them," the principal shook his head.

"If seeking truth and honesty is unwise, then I'll gladly be so. I came here to learn. When presented with projects, what I value most is learning how to approach them as if they were real challenges, seeking meaningful and applicable solutions in the outside world. I have learned a lot, even in the subjects I don't pass."

"Are you saying you would seriously implement those ideas in the real world?" the principal raised his eyebrows.

“Yes.”

“But who is going to allow it?”

“Who is going to stop me?”

The principal remained in his seat with his lips parted. Touma lowered his gaze with a smile on his lips, and his expression hardened again when the principal looked at him for a moment.

"This is unprecedented. I will not tolerate your arrogant and irresponsible attitude. I want you to pay attention to what I am about to say, because this is very serious. You have been questioning the Sibyl System and suggesting ideas that go against our fundamental beliefs. But don't you realize that the Sibyl System has been proven by all the authorities in the field? It's an advanced and proven technology that has proven its effectiveness in maintaining order and security in our society. There is a rich tradition in our current policies and beliefs, we can only respectfully follow the established principles. Who are we to question what has proven to be effective? We can only try to maintain and improve it over time."

"Why?" questioned Yashiro.

"Why, it's obvious!" the principal exclaimed.

"I don't care what people think about art, music, Sibyl or whatever. Why do I have to consider what other people think?" Yashiro held a hand out to the side for a moment, opening her palm.

"That's our tradition and society's,” he measured his voice.

"But, why?"

"How can you be so smart and so naive?" the principal raised an eyebrow for a second.

"Honestly, I don't understand," Yashiro stood up, heading to one side of the room, where there was a wooden bookshelf with books, folders, and academic pictures. "Why choose the monotony of copying and repeating what others have done before? Rules? Every material, every place and every goal is unique, but we insist on applying the same thoughts over and over again, becoming copies of our parents, who copied our grandparents and so on creating a world composed of copies where no one owns their mind and every generation thinks the same."

The principal watched her sitting slightly leaning back. Something about her confused him, not because of her words but because of the way she said them. Touma's expression did not change at the sudden movement of her body, as if it were a mere continuation of a conversation they had started before.

"But... there is nothing that has not been expressed," replied the principal in a quieter tone. "All forms of expression have already been discovered."

"Expression of what?" Yashiro leaned forward, reading the title of a book. "The high-speed train does not serve the same purpose as its predecessor, the steam locomotive. An airplane or ship does not serve the same purpose as a train. The telegraph was an important innovation in communications, but it became obsolete with the development of the telephone and more advanced communication networks. A building must follow its own truth and serve its sole purpose. It becomes alive when it reflects a central idea that is expressed in every detail.

"Each idea has its own meaning, just as each person creates his own meaning, his own form and his own destiny. Why should it matter what others have done? Why should their way be the only valid one? Why blindly follow the majority without question? Why turn truth into a simple matter of conformity? Why must everything be adapted to please others? There must be a reason. Even if I don't know it yet, I am going to search for it and understand it."

"For God's sake!" the principal exclaimed. "Don't you find it more convenient to sit down? Thank you. Now listen to me carefully. The past was always adapted to the needs of the present. No single man ever invented anything in any area. The creative process is slow and collective, each man collaborates with the others and subordinates himself to the pre-established rules of the majority."

"I have probably sixty years to live," Yashiro looked up for a moment. "I will spend most of that time working. If I don't find joy in what I do, it will be torture. I don't plan to waste it following rules or traditions. I'm not interested in approval and conformity. I'm willing to set my own standards, even if it means being at the beginning of something new and different."

"How old are you?" the principal frowned and leaned forward slightly.

"Eighteen," replied Yashiro.

"Right, that's understandable," the principal sighed and stretched back in the seat with a smile. "You'll outgrow that. The old standards have always existed and no one has been able to improve them. Modernists are merely a trend. Can you name me a single one who has achieved any permanent distinction? What's become of them now? If they didn't become criminals, they're bums or drunks who are lucky to get part-time work as dishwashers in…”

"I'm not going to talk about those men," Yashiro cut him off.

"Are any of them your friends?"

"I have seen their works."

"And what do you think of them?" the principal wanted to know. "Do you find them...?

"I said I don't want to talk about them," Yashiro insisted with her eyes fixed on the desk.

"I hope you have realized that I am actually allowing you too much freedom. I do not usually have discussions with students who behave as you do, but I want to prevent what I fear is a real tragedy: the fate of a talented young woman who wants to complicate and ruin her life unnecessarily.

"You have shown great effort in your education and are just a few months away from finishing your studies. However, there is one crucial aspect you should consider, especially given your current situation. It's important to reflect that no one is an end in themselves, but a thousandth part of the social whole. Cooperation is key in our modern world and in any profession. Have you ever thought about others?"

"Yes," nodded Yashiro.

"Thinking of others is paramount in any project. You must think of others above all else. The purpose of all expressions is to serve others. Think of the artist, who seeks to connect with his audience through his work, the singer, who seeks to excite and delight his audience with his music, or the architect, who has the responsibility to create spaces that meet the needs and desires of those who will inhabit them. It's important to aspire to give adequate expression to the aspirations of those for whom we work."

"I don't want to exist to serve."

"'Come again?" the principal shifted in his chair, frowning for a second. "You mean you want to force them to accept your ideas?"

"I don't intend to force them to think like me or be forced."

The principal exchanged a glance with Touma, then turned to her more attentively than before, as if he had understood what was confusing him about her behavior.

"Have you considered that your arguments would be more persuasive if you demonstrated a genuine interest in knowing my opinion on the subject?" the principal asked.

"Yes, but I don't care whether you agree with me or not," Yashiro replied so calmly that the comment did not seem offensive.

Touma's eyebrows raised for a moment slightly, but his gaze remained fixed on the desk.

"You seem not only indifferent to the opinions of others, which might be difficult to understand, but you also show no interest in persuading them to adopt your point of view," the principal observed.

“No.”

"But, that's… evil."

“Is it?”

"This conversation has been eye-opening, and I am pleased to have had it," the principal said in a louder tone than usual. "After hearing your opinions and views, I concur with those who expressed concerns at the meeting. Your actions and attitudes are of concern to me and other faculty members. Your disruptive behavior and your insistence on questioning the fundamental beliefs of our society and our school cause us to consider that your presence here could be detrimental to the educational environment for our students. I believe that this school was never the best fit for you. Although I have tried to be supportive, I see that you are not to be encouraged. Your thinking is potentially dangerous."

“To whom?”

The principal stood up and gestured towards the door, indicating that the interview had come to an end. Touma turned around and watched her rise from the chair to give a brief bow of her head and then leave.

"I can't believe some teachers have said she's a great woman. A great woman... or a terrible criminal," the principal shook his head, resting a hand on the desk. "It's really surprising. After all these years, it's hard for me to understand how you didn't warn of her behavior earlier, even though your ideas and hers are so opposite. Didn't you realize that she could have expressed those kinds of opinions in your class long before? It's something that puzzles me, considering your strong hold on your own beliefs and values."

"Takahashi-san speaks for herself," Touma replied quietly.

"Evidently she shouldn't. We can't allow her to. Not even you," the principal frowned in a deeper tone of voice.

"What happens to her now?"

"I am seriously considering expelling her," the principal tapped his fingers on the desk, looking at the bookshelf in the room.

Touma frowned with his eyes still fixed on the door.

"I think making such a drastic decision might not be the right solution," Touma turned around with a relaxed expression. "Takahashi-san is an independent and driven individual, and her approach to the club was never for the purpose of causing harm, but to question and explore the world around her. She has the ability to express her ideas in a... forthright and passionate manner, which can generate varying reactions from others. However, she has always been respectful and open to dialogue with those who have different opinions in class."

"I appreciate your perspective, but I can't ignore complaints from parents about the impact their actions have on the club, and therefore on the academy and the mental health of the students. I can't risk keeping someone who could negatively influence others."

"I understand that, and I agree that we should consider the welfare of all students," Touma raised an eyebrow and lowered his gaze, pausing. "But perhaps we could look for a solution that doesn't involve a permanent expulsion. We could consider a temporary suspension as a warning measure and opportunity for Takahashi-san to reflect on her actions."

"That could be an option, but I would need guarantees that the science club's activities would not cause further conflict," the principal tilted his head to one side for a few seconds.

"I understand your concerns, but I also want to point out that several students have found value and enrichment in the club's discussions," Touma waved his hand.

"Still, I cannot allow this to continue. I will cancel all club activities. In addition, I will suspend all students involved. I cannot allow Takahashi-san's influence and her ideas to affect other students. This is my final decision," the principal stated in a firm voice.

"I understand. But I ask you to consider the possibility of allowing Takahashi-san to continue at the academy after the suspension. Machiavelli said that sometimes it's necessary to make firm and drastic decisions to maintain order and stability in an institution. However, it's also important to know how and when to show clemency," Touma turned his head to the side slightly, squinting his eyes. "Allowing Takahashi-san to continue at the academy after the suspension could be an opportunity to show wisdom and prudence. Sun Tzu also mentioned that the best victory is the one in which one avoids destruction and succeeds in transforming the enemy into an ally. Likewise, allowing Takahashi-san to learn from her mistakes and continue her education here could be a victory for all of us."

"I'll think about it, but I can't promise anything," the principal turned in the chair looking at the wall on one side of the room.

"Let me talk to her. I promise I will guide her and help find a way to balance her convictions with the general welfare of the academy. If after that you feel more drastic measures are necessary, I will accept your decision."

"All right. I accept your proposal for temporary suspension and your commitment to supervise her activities," the principal sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "But you must understand that any further problems will be grounds for immediate expulsion."

"Of course," Touma gave a slight bow of his head in appreciation. "I'm sure she will understand as well and learn from this experience. I don't think it's necessary to take such drastic measures, especially considering the time of year we're in."

"I hope so. You may leave."

Yashiro walked slowly through wide, long corridors, down the staircase and out into the garden. She had met many men like the principal, but she had never understood them. She only knew that there was a difference between her actions and theirs, but it did not bother her. Sometimes, she wished she knew what made them the way they were. There was a principle she needed to discover.

"Takahashi-san," an older professor who had been teaching arithmetic at the institution for years greeted her with a brief smile. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for what happened. I hope you were not discouraged by these recent events."

"Don't worry. It doesn't matter," Yashiro nodded.

"You must feel it's completely unfair," he commented after a pause, lowering his gaze.

“I didn't think so. What's wrong?”

The professor frowned at her for a moment, then turned to the building in front of them separated by a large garden. Yashiro's tone denoted surprise, like strangeness at the surprise on his face.

"Sometimes I miss the days when this school was a place of debate and discussion, of competing ideas. It was a different time."

“Did you live through that time?” Yashiro asked.

"Yes, I did. I've seen how the country has changed drastically all these years. You and your friends made me remember something I had forgotten, that I didn't know I might miss, though I'm not sure what it is," the professor raised an eyebrow.

"I get what you mean. Sometimes I wonder what it was like growing up in a world like that," Yashiro replied casually.

At that moment, the professor looked at his watch and sighed.

"I'm sorry I must go, I have a class in the other building. But it's been nice talking to you, Takahashi-san."

"Thank you. It's been a pleasure for me too," Yashiro replied. "Someday, I'd love to hear what life was like before."

The professor smiled and bowed in farewell, heading towards the other building. Yashiro stayed a moment longer in the garden, until she entered the building and headed for the bathroom. Inside, she sighed and relaxed her shoulders, looking at the dark circles under her eyes in the mirror and washing her face with water.

At that moment she saw a girl with glasses coming out with a cane from the last toilet cubicle, and three others waiting outside surrounded her. Two girls next to Yashiro who were washing their hands looked at them and left the bathroom without drying their wet skin.

"What are you doing here? We were looking for you."

One took the cell phone from her and raised her arm, taking a few steps back. The three formed a circle, tossing the cell phone to each other as the girl approached one of them. Since the three were taller, it was basically impossible for her to reach it. When the one with long blonde hair grabbed her by her red scarf around her neck, raising the arm with which she had her cell phone, she leaned towards her.

"Why don't I just smash it already?" she asked, gritting her teeth and staring at her.

Suddenly, her eyes squeezed shut and a grunt of pain escaped her lips, as Yashiro grasped her hand, pulled out her cell phone and then pushed her away. Turning around, she handed the cell phone back to the one with glasses, who blinked gawking at her.

"W-What are you doing? You shouldn't have..." she mumbled, shaking her head and grabbing her cell phone.

“Who’s this?” another asked.

The blonde grabbed her wrist and closed and opened her hand with a grimace of pain, looking at Yashiro, who went to get her backpack that she had left on the ground a few feet away. When she bent down to grab it someone else did it first.

“Get lost,” Yashiro narrowed her eyes.

The girl stretched her arm towards the collar of Yashiro's blouse, but she pulled away by grabbing her wrist and pushed her aside. Her body slammed against a half-open door of one of the toilet cubicles, and despite grabbing hold of the frame she fell in front of the toilet.

“Darn it!” she grunted in pain.

“Have you lost your mind?” another raised her voice.

She pulled on Yashiro's arm, but Yashiro turned around and gave her a light kick near her ankle, causing her to take a few steps back and lean against the wall, lifting her leg and gritting her teeth. Suddenly, Yashiro felt an arm wrap around her neck tightly.

“Crazy brat, who do you think you are?” the blonde muttered in her ear, grabbing her own arm with one hand.

Yashiro pushed back, but could only take a few steps. The other woman lunged toward her, but Yashiro kicked her in the stomach and knocked her to the ground. Turning to the side, she put her foot on a door frame and propelled herself backward. A grunt of pain echoed through the bathroom as Yashiro slammed her against the counter.

The one who had fallen into a cubicle got up, but when she tried to grab Yashiro, she jumped up and slammed both legs into her waist, pushing her against a door and freeing herself from the grip on her neck. Coughing and bringing a hand to it, Yashiro leaned forward. However, a hand grabbed her arm again and pulled her against the counter backwards.

Yashiro pursed her lips at the slight pain in her back, and when the woman approached raising her hand, she held her wrist and elbow against her neck, lifting herself up and pushing her onto the counter. Her large brown eyes glowed, fixed on Yashiro's gray ones. She gasped, feeling the tension in her arm and back, as she held Yashiro's shoulder with one hand.

"You think you're a queen but everyone at home treats you like a pawn," Yashiro observed in a serene tone.

The blonde frowned, but as soon as her lips parted, Yashiro pulled and pushed her to the side, causing her to fall to the ground and stagger herself. She then walked to where her backpack had fallen and slung it on her back. The girl in glasses stood motionless against a cubicle door watching the bodies move on the floor.

"You okay?" Yashiro looked her up and down, causing her to blink and flinch at her composed voice. "Come on."

"Why did you do that?" she walked behind with the cane, stepping out into the hallway. "You didn't have to. It's wrong. And now... now they'll come for you. What's your name?"

The dining room of the Oso Academy was large and majestic. A silence spread throughout the room. Staring blankly at the table, Yashiro did not notice the student who had entered the dining hall, followed by the glances of the rest. When her shadow was cast beside her, she managed to catch her attention.

“Unusual to see you worried," said a perfectly measured female voice that seemed to dance in a soft whisper yet disturb the atmosphere like a melody.

Yashiro smiled for a split second, utterly oblivious to the casual murmurs and laughter coming from the other adjacent tables. She looked up to focus her full attention on the tall, slender girl, who was noticed by many of her admirers especially because of her long black hair, which was always flowing down to her waist, imposing a magical yet simple elegance.

Yashiro raised her head slightly at those amethyst eyes, which watched with an almost palpable coldness, narrowed, something that many students did not notice. She gazed at her for a few seconds, fumbled with her fork twice, and continued her lunch, which was beginning to grow cold from the long wait. In response, the girl proceeded to sit across from her, in a refined, upright position. They usually asked permission to sit, but Yashiro had become so used to her presence that manners had long since ceased to exist between them.

Rikako was always accompanied by one or two students as if they were bodyguards, but every time she addressed her she did so on her own. Yashiro wondered what she had to hide, why she needed to protect her reputation so much the way she did. They were silent for a long while, one eating placidly and the other analyzing her every move, with that empty, enigmatic expression that so characterized her and to which Yashiro had grown accustomed.

“It's not about the club, is it?”

Yashiro wiped her mouth with a piece of cloth, leaving her hands on both sides of her tray to look at her. At that instant, Rikako pursed her lips proudly and leaned forward clasping her hands together, to rest her chin on them. Her eyes were fully fixed on the person in front of her, as if memorizing every expression or detail displayed.

"How are you doing with your drawings?" Yashiro asked. Rikako watched the cold silver in her eyes, prolonging the silence. "I see. I could help you find inspiration."

After a minute, having finished her lunch, Yashiro stood up with casual, careless movements.

“As thanks, I'll make an exception by letting you see my latest work. It's not finished yet, so your opinion will be very helpful," Rikako mimicked her movement and stood in front of the table.

They stood facing each other for a few seconds. There were murmurs and glances landing on them. As they walked past, some students smiled and Rikako returned the gesture, while Yashiro kept her eyes straight ahead.

At that moment, she only wondered what work Rikako was talking about, what it would look like, what its meaning would be. Such was her self-absorption that when another student greeted her, she automatically responded with a simple nod and a broad smile on her lips.

At that hour, the corridors of the academy that connected the different classrooms were isolated and silent, and were only dazed by the gentle footsteps of both students. When they arrived at one of the art classrooms, Rikako placed her hands on the doorknob and opened it, gesturing with her head to let her in.

The room was empty with only one drawing in the corner, with its back to any possible viewer. Rikako was very cautious, she did not like people looking at her unfinished drawings. She preferred to refine them until she finally decided that she could make them public in class.

“What do you say?”

Rikako's voice brought her back to reality and Yashiro opened her eyes again. She turned to Rikako, who was sitting in front of her creation with her hands on her knees. Yashiro moved closer to study the work very closely, standing behind her. The image made her lean forward slightly.

It was a woman who stood looking up, as if observing something beyond her reach, naked and with her hands clasped together in what looked like silent weeping. Behind her was a large tree to which she was attached, as if she were part of it or subject to its presence. A few branches full of leaves covered her, but she seemed to be alone, out in the open, despite having pleasant company. Yashiro smiled and exchanged a glance with Rikako.

“I wonder what inspired you. Solitude? Blindness? The Sibyl System, perhaps?”

Rikako smiled and Yashiro's eyes sparkled as she walked down the hall, followed by her eyes. Unlike Rikako, her hair was brown and fell tousled to mid-back, though she usually wore it over her chest.

“Now... will you tell me what's going on, without changing the subject?”

Yashiro paused with a long, deep sigh as if she had known that question would reach her ears. She turned her head gently towards Rikako, who was still sitting with her straight hair behind her and kept looking into her eyes.

“I dreamed of ghosts from the past that I thought I buried," Yashiro nodded softly.

“We all have ghosts. You have to learn to let go,” Rikako's voice echoed.

“How?" Yashiro asked.

Rikako seemed to find it hard to believe that Yashiro, being older than her, was asking her for advice. It was something she would not do with other people, except for teachers. After taking a deep breath, she stood up to walk towards her, standing half a meter away.

"Accepting them, living with them, until they become memories."

Yashiro walked to the window to look out at the blue sky and the students crowding in the courtyard. She frowned for a moment, feeling a slight headache.

"Where have you been?" Rikako asked, seeing some stains on the bottom of her white blouse.

"Out and about," shrugged Yashiro. “Got something for you.”

Yashiro reached for her backpack that she had left lying on the floor and pulled out a book from inside, reaching over to hand it to her. Rikako's eyes widened for a few seconds as she opened it, and looked up at her.

"Thank you. It's hard to find copies of Shakespeare," Rikako paused, looking into her eyes.

At that moment, Rikako raised her head slightly and her lips parted, but the words did not find their way out. Her eyes, normally bright, now seemed dull. She looked at Yashiro's lips for a moment, before returning to her eyes and watching her features. However, the sound of the door opening made Yashiro turn around. A woman with glasses and gray hair walked in. She was known to the students because she had worked at the academy for many years.

"Takahashi-san, excuse me, but I was told I might find you here," the school counselor paused, looking at Rikako and then at her again. "I'm sorry about what happened this morning."

"What happened?" asked Yashiro.

"Well, there are all kinds of rumors. I can't tell you how sorry I am. That club must have meant a lot to you."

Yashiro just looked into her eyes without answering.

"Now you'll have to leave that club, and who knows what else, won't you?" the woman shifted on the spot. "But you shouldn't be disappointed, you'll be finishing your studies shortly. We have to look on the bright side of suffering, don't we?"

Yashiro turned around and walked to the window.

"Ah, Takahashi-san!"

"What?"

"The principal… the principal made a call through his secretary," she explained.

“And?”

"The secretary asked me if I could please tell you that the principal wanted to see you. Why do you think he wants to see you?"

"How should I know," Yashiro turned to Rikako's drawing.

The woman followed her with her eyes, watching her slender figure move about the huge room. She feared that Yashiro might suddenly pounce on the drawing and break it, knocking the chair to the floor, though she had never shown any such inclinations. But, without knowing why, she kept waiting for catastrophe.

"Takahashi-san, what are you doing?”

Yashiro was watching Rikako's drawing, but looked up at the woman, raising her eyebrows.

"What about the principal? The principal, who is waiting for you," she shook her head.

"Oh, right. I forgot," sighed Yashiro.

“You… forgot?" her voice echoed.

"Yes."

"Well, all I can say is that you deserve it. All of it. You should hurry up and rush to his office," the counselor raised her voice.

"I'll be right over," responded Yashiro.

The woman frowned as she watched Yashiro pull her hair back with her fingers to give it the appearance of a hairstyle.

"Takahashi-san, are you planning to go like this?"

"And how would I go?" asked Yashiro.

"But it's your principal!"

"Not anymore."

The woman thought Yashiro said it happily, and for a moment she stared at her with half-open lips, until she sighed and walked back out of the classroom. Rikako could not help but smile as she saw Yashiro slung her backpack over one shoulder and hurried out, taking long strides, exchanging a glance with her.

Sitting with a forearm on the desk, the principal had leaned to one side listening to his secretary. When Yashiro walked in, his eyes glanced at her for a second, but he continued to talk to the woman about something she did not get to hear. Touma Kouzaburou was standing at the side of the room, his hands in the pockets of his dark beige pants.

"You're right on time," Touma smiled and tilted his head at her, not taking his eyes off the principal.

“Thought I was late,” Yashiro approached him.

“That’s what I mean,” he frowned, turning to her.

The secretary nodded and left the room, leaving the three alone. The principal raised his eyebrows and waved for Yashiro to sit down.

"Takahashi-san, Touma-kun, thank you for taking the time to speak with me again. I want to be clear about how we will proceed after this situation," the principal leaned his elbows on the armrests of his chair, and clasped his hands together in front of his chest. "Takahashi-san, I have decided to cancel all science club activities. In addition, both you and all students involved will be temporarily suspended as a disciplinary measure.

"I have noticed that your opinions and attitudes have been the subject of controversy among several teachers and students. I understand that everyone has the right to express their ideas, but it's important to maintain a harmonious and respectful environment at our educational institution. Therefore, I have decided that it's necessary to take additional steps to ensure that these situations do not happen again."

"I'm sure you'll find a new graduate the next time this happens. I just don't understand why you haven't yet," Yashiro commented calmly in front of his desk.

Touma frowned and slowly lowered his head, turning it towards her.

"Takahashi-san, it's none of your business to consider that," Touma's tone was unusually deep and his expression became more serious, which made her blink.

"I'm just curious. I want to know my situation. I'd like to know beforehand if I'm going to be expelled," Yashiro raised her eyebrows looking at him for a moment.

"There is no need to reach such presumptions, Takahashi-san," the principal raised his voice. "You will get the necessary information in due course. But here's what you need to know now. The only reason you have not yet been expelled is because Touma-kun begged me to give you a chance and submitted a formal plea to keep you at this academy, stating that he will be in charge of your supervision. I took his words into consideration. You can thank him for still being here."

Yashiro's eyes widened and her lips parted as she turned to Touma, who was looking at the principal.

"The suspension will be an opportunity to reflect on your actions. You should appeal to your conscience and recognize that your extremist ideas have created controversy and could raise overall stress among students. You should admit that others are right and reconsider your approaches," the principal continued, pausing, as if waiting for an apology, but it did not come. "Please note that this temporary suspension is not a concession, it's a warning. Your ideas and actions will be carefully monitored. Any misstep and expulsion will be imminent. That's all I had to say. Is there anything else you'd like to add... or explain?"

"No," replied Yashiro.

"Good. You may go now. I have matters to discuss with Touma-kun alone."

Yashiro stood up with a slight bow of her head. Her eyes met for an instant the narrowed brown ones of Touma, who had turned to face her. A smile tugged on his face, causing her to frown and walk out of the office.

#psycho pass #psycho pass fanfiction #touma kouzaburou #kozaburo toma #toma kozaburo

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hjellacott · 2 years

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Advice for students

I'm now on my second university first degree (I know, names are odd). First in my country of origin I did a 4 years undergraduate first degree in audiovisual communication, and specialised in sociology and filmmaking, which was within. Now I'm getting a Bsc in Psychology specialising in childhood (not in treating children, but rather, in looking at the past to understand the present). It's a 5-6years degree part time via distance learning, because I've got full time employment now, and also in my new country, so different language as well. So I consider myself someone with a lot of student experience and knowledge and if I can help you, I 100% will.

First time I was in uni, it was borderline traumatic. In fact, some days were downright traumatic. I was in an incredibly difficult personal situation, I was one of the youngest of my year (the only ones even younger than me were only by 2 months, tops), at the bare minimum age requirement to go to university in my country, and I was incredibly demanding with myself so the pressure felt gigantic. My family was broke. I'd lost my dad. I was studying out of scholarships. I knew it was up to me to take care of my family, for a number of reasons. And since I'd always been a decent student, in fact sometimes even excellent student, I was set on continuing to behave like that and get the highest marks I could all the time. I studied what I loved most. I was in my home city (most people in my country don't change cities to study if they can help it). I had the tremendous support of my loved ones. I felt I was ready.

Yet I started dragging a severe case of depression that had started few years before when I lost my dad. And my mind became my worst enemy. There were days I wanted to run away from my mind, because I couldn't take its negative messages, the pressure it put me through, the way it beat me up and told me I wouldn't amount to nothing. Something that I loved became something I hated. I made no real friends. I was closest with some of my teachers. And I even had a course about myths and stuff that I adored, but that for an odd reason at one point began to trigger severe anguish in me to the point I skipped a week of it. Not because of the course work, but because of videos we had to see in class. I cried hard and often, and I began to develop such severe arrhythmia I was taken for cardiology tests because my doctor feared I had a heart problem.

Looking back I know I didn't suffer because it was that difficult. I suffered because I had so much pressure and stress due to entirely personal life factors, that my body couldn't cope. I was exhausted all the time. I found it insanely hard to focus on my books and my coursework. I took tremendous refuge in acting and writing and those became my lifesavers.

So here's my first bit of advice: don't start university by becoming your own worst enemy. Make sure you're in a great mental and personal space. Don't waste a second thinking a single thing that doesn't actively help you. That means not beating yourself up, not criticising yourself, not provoking thoughts within yourself that sadden or anguish you. Be your best ally. Your own best friend. Your best cheerleader. Study what you love the most, paper your walls with motivational and inspiring quotes and take care of your mental health. Because university really isn't so hard. What's hard is to try university with a poor mental health.

After that experience I told myself I was DONE with studying. I graduated and swore I'd never again continue academic studies. My friends went on to get masters degree and things alike, and I started working.

Here we are 3 years later. About a year ago I found out there were other ways to study, ways that perhaps fit me better. They aren't less demanding, but have different methods that adapt to who you are. I'd developed a love for psychology back then, read so many books about it and began daydreaming about studying psychology seriously. Not to work in it, but for love. Purely out of wanting to know more and see if it helped me and enriched me as a person. Passion for knowledge. And that felt so new and exciting that I began looking whether it was even possible, with my job and all.

I've begun again now and I'm in a different stage. I have a job, I've emigrated, my mental health is doing much better, I still love and want to know it all about psychology and I don't have any of the pressure I used to put on myself. I don't care what mark I get, but I'll try to be top of my class just because it's subjects I'm passionate about and want to thrive in, without hurting if it doesn't happen. I'm not a young barely-adult woman. I'm more mature. More ready. Life and studies look A LOT differently now. And I'm studying from home, on my own time, when not working, and although it's just begun, it's the first time in my whole life September comes and I'm itching, dying to learn more stuff.

My point is, if you're suffering with your education perhaps you're not doing it right. Perhaps there's a better way. Perhaps you aren't passionate enough, or care enough, perhaps you're not studying for the right reasons. And that's not the way to go.

Study for yourself, because you want to. Choose a course you can't wait to know more about. Do therapy if you need it. Don't put unnecessary pressure.

We will all graduate. We will all do well in life. But if you're not happy during the journey, and rather, grit your teeth all the way through, you need to stop and realise the end is not what matters, it's every day until you get there. Is like turning 18. You can spend every day of your 18th year of life impatiently waiting for your big day, only to arrive and realise after one month, it soon isn't that big a deal. Or you can spend every day of that year living to the fully the stage you're currently are, being in the present, not in a rush to get nowhere. I guarantee you this second method is the one that'll make you happiest.

Your choice. Go eat the world.

#student #studying #university #university life #motivation #mental health #depression #anxiety #adulting

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scorpionyx9621 · 3 years

Text

I Hope Hopeless Changes Over Time: A Red Hood and Batman Fic

*Source of the image I found off of Pintrest. I tried to find the original artist but the link on Pintrest led to a dead Tumblr account. If anyone wants to find/point out the account to me so I can give proper credit to the artist please please do.*

I wanted to make a fic based on an ask I did from the lovely @dilfbatman about Jason and Bruce. I hope people enjoy this mini-fic that I've expanded upon.

TW: Blood, Physical Assault, Suicide Ideation, Swearing. Bruce being a shitty father but trying. Jason having demons

3.75K words.

Bruce was uneasy about Jason staying over at the Wayne Mansion. Even with other members of the family around. Jason has done so much wrong and has hurt so many people. However, at the end of the day, Jason still is his son. So when he gets a call from Jason in a hushed voice asking Bruce to stay the night. He hesitated for a second, but acquiesced, Jason was nothing if not independent, so to be asking Bruce outright to stay at the Wayne Manor meant something was wrong.

"Master Jason wouldn't reach out to any of us unless something was gravely wrong, Master Wayne." Alfred had reassured Bruce, who was staring absentmindedly at the glass case which housed Jason's old Robin costume. The costume that Jason had died in. Bruce always tried to repress the memory of holding his son's cold, lifeless body. The pain he felt from losing his parents burned in his heart as an everlasting stab wound. But the pain from losing Jason, his son, it was too much to bare.

"I'd be welcoming to Master Jason, but keep your distance. Master Damian is spending the night at Jon Kent's house, Master Richard is in Blüdhaven, and Master Timothy is with the Teen Titans tonight. I'll rest assured Jason doesn't try anything to harm you. But don't try to encourage a confrontation." Alfred explained. He always seemed to understand Jason to a tee after he came back to life.

"I don't know how you do it Alfred, you can read the boy like a book." Bruce had retorted. Cocking a half-smile to the man who raised him since his parents died.

"Master Wayne, Master Jason wears his heart on his sleeve. He always has. And one of the reasons why you two fight constantly is because, for as terrific as a detective you are, you are horrifically inept in reading the emotions of your children." Alfred had stated, those words bit Bruce. He wasn't expecting such sharp words from Alfred. "We failed Master Jason. And he's hurt, he's been hurt for years because of it. However he keeps choosing to come back and try and trust again. We needn't come at him with accusations of ulterior motives, but we should be supportive." Alfred stated.

"But cognizant of what Jason is capable of." Bruce added back. Jason may need help, but he's still dangerous. He has tried to kill Bruce and the rest of the Robins multiple times. He wants to trust Jason and warm up to him again. But the man who wears the Red Hood and stalks the streets of Gotham killing those he deems criminals is not his son anymore.

Alfred and Bruce greeted Jason as he walked in the large double doors of the Wayne Manor. The first thing Bruce noticed was the dark circles under Jason's eyes. It seemed as if the man hadn't slept in days. Jason was wearing sweatpants and a fitted black wife beater, accentuating his muscles. Jason would have looked more intimidating had his body language not suggested he was as disheveled as he was, physically and mentally.

"Thanks Alfred." Jason had said meekly towards the butler. He took one step into the mansion and looked at Bruce. Bruce noticed as soon as Jason's eyes met his, his tired irises contorted into anger. His lips pursed downwards but Jason chose not to say anything. Instead just walking past Bruce pretending not to acknowledge him.

"Master Jason, you will be staying in the guest suite on the main floor. I've already prepped everything for your arrival. Please make yourself at home." Alfred had said. Jason just shook is head as he headed towards the hallway leading the guest suite. Bruce didn't notice it immediately but the stench Jason had emitted stung in the air. It smelled like stale liqour and body oder. It seems Jason hadn't bathed in days. Bruce had wanted to say something but chose not to.

The evening went by quietly enough. Jason had taken a shower and changed into another fitted wife beater but still sported a tired energy about him. Alfred had put together a beef pot roast for dinner with red potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery over garlic mashed potatoes. A favorite dish of Jason's. The three of them ate quietly as Bruce continued to size up his son. He was conflicted. At one point he saw the man who blew up the head of a Gotham security force member with a torture decide he had created. On the other hand, he saw the boy who would beg for Bruce to buy him more books after he finished the maximum amount a library card would allow for a week in the span of 3 days. The son who told him being Robin gave him magic.

The dinner ended as it began. With awkward silence and the father-son duo eyeing each other. One with cautious trepidation and the other with abject hate. Bruce had decided not to go on patrol tonight as he felt he needed to be at the manor should anything happen while Jason was here. An uneasy sense of dread built over Bruce as he had said good night to Jason as the two passed by each other in the halls. Jason simply spat 'Bitch' at Bruce and walked into the bedroom. Bruce had been bad with other people's emotions, but something didn't sit right with the way Jason was carrying himself. He had decided to stay up tonight regardless. A sense came over him after being sworn at by Jason. A sense he hadn't felt in a long time. He felt as though his son needed help.

————————————————————

"You're a monster"

"Jason is a murderer"

"Stay away from Jason, he'll kill you."

"No one wants you around, Todd"

"You're just a good guy trying to be bad"

"This is the kid you had to replace me with as Robin? Bruce he's pathetic."

"I can't believe my daughter wasted the Lazarus Pit on a miserable failure like you."

"Maybe I'd be better off dead"

Jason tossed and turned. It's been days. He couldn't get the voices out of his head. Those whispery, moany voices that taunted and tormented him. He knew it was a result of the Lazarus Pit. Ever since Roy died and everyone left him the voices started taunting him again. He tried everything he could to get the voices to stop. He drank, he read, he worked out, he did everything he could. The only way the voices became quiet were when he was beating the ever-loving shit out of some criminals. This was not the mindset Jason had wanted. He wanted to go back to being supported by Bruce, the man who betrayed him. He knew that Bruce was weak. He couldn’t kill the Joker because of his weakness.

Jason got up and walked over to the connecting bathroom to the suite that he was staying in. He went to the sink and splashed some cold water on his face. Against his better judgement, Jason looked up to the figure he saw in the mirror. He took note of his jawline, his face, his green eyes, his muscles.. but one thing that caught his eye was the fucking skunk streak of hair at the top of his head. The physical reminder of his dip in the Lazarus Pit. He had just re-dyed the spot not two days ago and it already came back. He did everything he could to try to hide the streak. It’s what he hated most about his new body. The pit wiped away all of the scars he had on his body. And any new fresh scar or wound would just fade in a matter of moments due to the effects of the pit. The only thing that ever stayed was that damned streak.

Jason had nothing but disgust and contempt for the man he saw in the mirror, which, ironically, was himself.

“You’re just using the sarcasm to hide your hatred.”

“It’s your fault that everyone hates you.”

“Killing the sick of the masses to save those who are weak is your calling”

“Those reptiles deserve to die”

“I don’t want to kill unless I don’t have to.. I don’t want people to hate me..” Jason tried reassuring himself. The voices in his head kept getting louder and louder. “I want Bruce and everyone to love me again....” He continued to try to re-assure himself. It was a false sense of hope as always. His mind soon wandered to a moment where he was on top of Dick in a fight. Confronting his older sibling and reciting a quote he had heard from a Japanese philosopher and optimist as he had the barrel of a gun placed against his older brother’s temple.

“Do you know what the most convenient phrase in the world is, Dickie? It’s ‘I’m sorry.’ Anyone who hears that is obligated to forgive, no matter how hurt or angry they might be... There's no more disgusting phrase in all the world. It's used to displace your suffering unto others so you can escape your sins... The moment you employ it, your suffering becomes the other person's. A thing can be unforgivable, but oh, if they apologize... I say there's no reason to accept that suffering. You don't have to forgive them. Cast aside the mask of your conscience.“

“Stop this. Please stop this.” Jason had begged aimlessly into the air. He didn’t want to live like this anymore. He didn’t want to live, period. He just wanted all of this to end. He had caused so much pain and so much suffering to the people of Gotham all so he could attempt to hurt Bruce. But those words kept repeating in his head. He knew he had to stop this. He needed help, he wanted to go to Bruce and explain what was going on but Bruce would just have him institutionalized. His murderer of a son starts hearing voices in his head? A one way ticket to a padded room.

Jason suddenly stared back into the mirror and saw something he detested. The green eyes that stared into his soul. The one he hated more than anything else. Was himself. This thing was staring him in the face mocking him, and he wanted it gone.

“Do it Jason.” the voice had beckoned from the mirror. “Kill them all. Slit Damian’s throat and watch the fucker bleed. Bash Tim’s stupid face into the concrete until there’s nothing but mush. Rip Dick limb from fucking limb. Watch Bruce as you choke the last bit of life from his eyes. I promise all the pain will go away once all of this is done.” the voice sounded almost sweet as it promised to do all of this. Jason just retched as he saw the green eyed monster promising poison to him. He felt his vision fade to black.

------------------------------------------------------------------

STOP IT. SHUT. UP.

*CRASH*

Bruce had jumped up from the chair he was sitting on in the library, the voice came from the suite that Jason was staying in. Bruce didn’t have time to think. He just ran towards the noise. He threw the door to the suite open and ran to the bathroom. There he saw Jason in front of a heavily cracked mirror. Jason was hyperventilating and he saw blood oozing from Jason’s fist which was pressed against the mirror. Bruce saw from the reflection that Jason had split open the left side of his lip seemingly from a shard of glass. It wasn’t long before Jason glanced up at the imposing shadow in the mirror and noticed Bruce’s presence.

“YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BRUCE.” Jason had shouted at his reflection. Jason was shaking. Bruce had wanted to assess the injury that Jason gave himself. But he knew he was cornering a scared animal if he pressed any farther forward. Bruce stood their frozen. Pondering between trying to press forward upon a killer, or to check up on his son.

“Jason, I just...” Bruce was cut off by another scream as Jason turned around.

“IF YOU COME ANY CLOSER I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU FUCKING STAND YOU PIECE OF SHIT.” Bruce finally got the cue. The hitch in Jason’s voice. This is the same hitch his voice made when he was a kid and was angry at Bruce. Alfred was right. This is his son. And right now Bruce needed not to be the Batman approaching the Red Hood. He needed to be Bruce, to help his son.

Bruce walked forward to Jason, still shaking as blood oozed from the gashes of glass on his fist. Bruce decided against everything in his gut telling him to stop this criminal. This monster who killed for sport and to prove a point. He needed to help Jason, his son.

Bruce was knocked back by a fist to his chest. Glass imbedded itself into Bruce as he felt the sting of their shards. Jason was right, he was going to hurt Bruce if he approached. Oracle was right, Jason had been abusing venom. The quick gain in muscle mass was proof enough but the stinging pain in Bruce’s chest also proved that hypothesis. Jason barred his teeth as his eyes displayed a seething hatred. Bruce would have been frightened on any other day. Today, Bruce felt a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. Bruce collected himself and got up to approach Jason again.

“I TOLD YOU I’M GOING TO KILL YOU BRUCE. I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS. I WANT YOU TO DIE. I WANT ALL OF US TO JUST FUCKING DIE.” Jason screamed even louder this time. A hot stream of tears worked their way down Jason’s cheeks. Bruce no longer saw a rage-induced monster but the boy who took a tire iron to his gut on the streets of Gotham. The boy who would was thrilled at every opportunity he got to show Bruce the A’s on every test he got in school. This was his baby boy who needed his help.

“Jason Peter Todd that’s enough.” Bruce said firmly, but not harshly. Jason stared directly into his eyes. “Jason. I want you to listen to me.”

“Go to hell you motherfucker.” those words which escaped Jason were laced with poison. Bruce didn’t waver.

“You can punch me as much as you want Jason and I’ll deserve all of it.” Bruce came closer to Jason. Jason proceeded to physically make himself smaller. Like a scared animal. Bruce remember what he did to Jason after he had seemingly killed The Penguin. How he beat Jason to within an inch of his life. His heart plummeted to his stomach as he saw Jason cower like a scared dog over his approach.

“What are you going to do Bruce, beat me to a fucking pulp again? You hate me more than you hate the fucking Joker, don’t you?” Jason asked. Bruce truly saw the fear in those green eyes. He had to take a moment and realized just what he was doing. He unclenched his jaw and relaxed his shoulders as he approached Jason. This time he was back within striking range of his son.

“Jason. I failed you. I have been failing you for the past 10 years since your death. I have failed this city and this family in providing the protection it needs. I couldn’t kill The Joker because I’m weak.” Bruce sucked at emotions and emoting. But Bruce hadn’t felt this shaky and wavering since the day he lost Jason. His son needed to know the truth. He deserved to know the truth. “Jason I never hated you. I hated the actions you have taken against the people of this city. But I’ve come to realize that the hatred and contempt I’ve held is because you do what I can’t do.”

“Oh so now you’re coming over to apologize? I don’t owe you shit after what you’ve done to me.” Jason had stated. He may have been acting like a pinned animal. But his mouth will never not cut like knives.

“Jason, when we had fought in the abandoned apartment. And you had the Joker with you. You had tried to shoot me after I had turned away from you.” Bruce said. Inching ever closer to Jason while trying not to be imposing. “In that moment, I threw the batarang because I knew you were going to retaliate against me. But I need you to know in that moment I turned away. I turned away because I decided I wasn’t to be the one to decide the Joker’s fate. He had taken your life and it wasn’t up to me to decide. I want nothing more than for the Joker to pay for the countless lives hes taken and ruined.” Bruce swallowed hard as he felt tears beginning to well in his eyes. “I failed you because I couldn’t kill the Joker. But in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to have my baby boy back. I wanted you back in my life. I still want you back in my life.”

“Bullshit. Fucking BULLSHIT.” Jason spat at Bruce. The emotions were flooding out of his face. Anger, hatred, fear, but most of all sadness. Jason’s voice began wavering as he began to cry. “If you loved me why in the fuck have you never realized I’ve been trying to help the people of Gotham. Instead every time I take matters into my own hands all I meet are your fucking fists. I hate your guts Bruce. We’d all just be better off fucking dead. It’s all Hopeless. I’m hopeless.”

Bruce took a deep breath. He tried to find his resolve. He wanted nothing more than to be able to reach out to his son again. “You’re absolutely right Jason. I’ll bet Gotham would be a whole lot better without me. Without the pain I have caused. And no amount of apologies will fix the pain that I have caused you. No words will ever take back the transgressions I have taken against you.” Bruce was crying this time. “But know this. You always have been my son. And I love you so much. The day I lost my parents was agony. The day I lost you, I felt like I had lost myself I felt I had died a bit inside.” Bruce choked out. “We both have done so much we regret. If I could take back all the times I hit you I would do it in a heartbeat. But no amount of sorry will take back that pain. I shouldn’t be in the position to be asking this. But I just want my son back.” Bruce swallowed. “You have every right to hate me, but I will never stop loving you. You aren’t hopeless and you never have been. You never have been a burden. You are valued by so many people. I. I love you my son. I love you Jason."

Jason’s face relaxed from a position of contempt and hatred and soon was overcome with years of pent up tears. Jason let out a hearty scream as he proceeded to weep and sob. As if a dam had broke and was threatening to engulf a town in an apocalypse. Bruce went against everything he had known and was screaming from the inside of his body and wrapped Jason in a hug. He was almost as large as Bruce himself and barely fit around his arms. But Bruce held his son and hugged him tight. Jason was crying uncontrollably.

“I’m hearing these voices. They’re telling me I’m a monster and a killer and that I should kill all of you.” Jason shouted between sobs. “But I don’t want to. I’m so afraid Bruce. I don’t want to hurt anyone unless I have to.”

“Just breath Jason. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Let it all out.” Bruce had solidified his resolve and worked on being there for Jason. He couldn’t run away this time. His son needed him more than ever. And Gotham be damned. He’s not making this mistake twice. He’s staying here. For Jason.

It felt like hours before Jason had run out of tears and sobs. Jason was fading and seemed like he was about to fall asleep. The shards of glass that were imbedded in his hand seemingly prevented Jason from bleeding out. Bruce had saw Jason’s eyes glaze over as his breathing calmed.

“Jason, I’m going to pick you up and take you to bed.” Bruce had said, asking for permission from his second son. Jason simply nodded as he starred off. He was numb now. The pain seemingly gone for the moment. Bruce lifted Jason up and was taken aback by just how heavy his son was. He truly was 225lbs just like his records showed. This wasn’t the son who hid under the cabinets when Bruce first brought Jason home. But Bruce still saw the boy as his son nonetheless. As Bruce laid Jason on the bed Alfred had approached with a first aid kit. Proceeding to begin to clean up Jason’s hand. Jason was so exhausted he barely felt any of the picking and pulling or the iodine going into his wounds. He kept his eyes fast forward on Bruce.

“Bruce. I. I’m sorry.” Jason had said meekly.

“Don’t apologize Jason.” Bruce had stated. He ran his hand through Jason’s hair, giving a soft massage to his scalp. “You get some sleep now. I don’t think you’ve rested in days.”

Bruce had remembered the time he had read Jason to sleep. This time he had thought back to a poem that struck him from his phone. It was from a famous lyricist and singer. As Bruce pulled up his phone he had found the poem and recited it as Jason fell asleep. Things are far from perfect or even better. But tomorrow was going to be the first day of the rest of his and Jason’s lives.

“They told me once, ‘there's a place where love conquers all’

A city with the streets full of milk and honey

I haven't found it yet, but I'm still searching

All I know is a hopeless place that flows with the blood of my kin

Perhaps hopeless isn't a place

Nothing but a state of mind”

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pHEW GOD THAT WAS LONG. I hope you all enjoyed the fic! This was my first published attempt at angst and whump and while I feel some parts are cringe. I am proud of what I made.

Big thanks again to @dilfbatman for inspiring this fic. The inspiration of the title is the song Hopeless: by Halsey. The quote about I’m Sorry is from the character Shadow Maya Amano from Persona 2: Innocent Sin. And the poem at the end is the first part of the lyrics to the song Good Mourning by Halsey.

#Jason Todd #Red Hood #Bruce Wayne #Batman #Whump #Angst #Hurt/comfort #Non-ship #Bruce being a good father #Jason trying his best #Jason getting the rest he deserves #The two have gone through so much but they can get help #TW Blood #TW Physical abuse #TW Swearing

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fractallogic · 2 years

Text

here are Some Thoughts™ that are mostly reminders of things I got done since 4 PM, since I feel like I haven't done shit today other than sit on the couch:

1. I did not have dice in my mailbox today. in fact, I only got the mail that USPS said they were mailing to me yesterday. sigh.

2. I am REALLY happy to say that Butch Turtle is well lit for the first time in a very long time. he has his warm light, which I fucked up and knocked over and broke a few days ago and needed to get a whole new lamp for because the bottom of the bulb is stuck in the socket, and he also has his UV light for Shell Health (which I replaced ??? ago, but the lamp didn't work, so I had to get a new lamp, which I got right before I moved so I didn't do anything, and then it still didn't work, so I needed to get a new bulb, which I hadn't done until today, and it turned out the previous lamp worked all along, which meant I got a dud bulb, which SUCKS because now I can't return it because god only knows where that receipt and packaging are and they are EXPENSIVE at ~$25 each)

3. I finally filled out the authorization to release medical records to the new doctor, and hopefully they get it before my appointment next thursday

4. I also found a new practice right next to my house (basically) that gets very good reviews and is also taking new patients, in case I can't make it clear to the previous doc that she made me feel bad about myself and her team fucked up and was rude to me instead of apologizing for their mistake

5. I also requested study credits for next term so that I can run participants through the human subjects pool. the deadline to request is sunday(?), so cutting it close, as usual

6. This means I have some extra motivation to finish up the pilot study and my stuff for the main study, since I think the credits can be reallocated to someone else if I don't use them by like, week 5 or something

7. today should be a full shower day because my hair is kind of gross, but I am also kind of tired and don't want to. but I also feel better after I wash my hair and it doesn't actually take that much effort.

8. goal for tomorrow is to buy next year's health insurance, put the final touches on the contract critique for this one kid I've been working on for literally three weeks because I can't just fucking sit down and do it, read through my student's statement of purpose, do one pomodoro of work on another contract, and do two pomodoros of work on the book. I'm pretty sure that's going to amount to about two hours of work. I'm telling that to my brain right now because before I sit down to do it I'll feel like it's the worst thing in the world, but when I actually get started, I'll feel MUCH better about it and be able to power through a lot

9. also we must wash the dishes on the counter tomorrow. we have to. we have no clean pots and we want to make puttanesca sauce, and also no counter space to do fucking anything.

10. this weekend it would be nice if we returned the cans and bottles to the recycling thing by the grocery store. we need to get groceries and plan the meals for next week anyway, so do it then. (puttanesca recipe makes four servings, so we don't really even have to plan much or get many groceries.)

11. don't forget to go to campus on Monday for the undergrad event. also don't forget about the lab gathering on Monday night. also don't forget to send New Collaborator your grant.

12. my neighbor asked me to spend a few hours hanging out with her partner's elderly cat while they're away on a ~romantic mountain retreat~ (or sth) this weekend, but hasn't gotten me a key to their place and they leave tomorrow. I feel concerned for the cat.

13. I am going to get in bed before midnight tonight because my revenge bedtime procrastination hasn't even been interesting lately, and if I continue getting up at 8 AM after sleeping enough, there actually is enough time in the day to a) work, b) wash dishes, c) take a walk, d) make dinner, and e) play video games in a very comfortable, non-rushed kind of way without having to also stay up late to do any of them

14. don't let the SAD win. fuck you, SAD. I know it's dark outside. I don't care. sitting on the couch doesn't help.

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carlajean12 · 4 years

Text

POCKET BOOK

' BESTFRIEND '

Carla Jean Timoteo

"Thankyou for the letter, Mr. Mailman" My brother Damon greeted and the mailman smiled and walked away to deliver letters in the neighborhood.

I walked towards my brother and get the letter. I went up straight to my room and excitedly open the letter. I am greeted by the scent of the paper used. It smells like a fresh chamomile.

My Dearest Selena,

Hi Selena i've been busy with my study lately. I had a really great day today until one of my professors, scolded me for being late at school. Anyways, i've missed writing letters for you. I hope you are doing fine and I hope you'll reply to my letter take care.

-Sky de Vera

Sky is a boy i met online, 6 months ago. He is from New York. I've never seen him in personal. I just saw his pictures he usually talk online but he prefers sending me letters that makes me so happy all the time. I keep on smiling the whole day. My heart is so flattered by the letter that sky given me. He's so sweet by his word he seems so very lonely and gentleman. Suddenly my mind was filled of doubt's what if his only a poser using other name and other picture.

"Hello brother where's mom and dad?" Asking my brother while walking toward the dining area.

"On a date?" He answered with a shrug.

I rolled my eyes and eat silently. After eating i went straight to the bathroom and took a bath. I read the letter that sky have given me once more and get some scented paper to answer the letter .

I am blushing while writing the letter. I crumpled the paper and wrote again, the words was just so cheesy and i should act like Maria Clara. I wrote one more time, writing like professional that it would never give him a motive that i like him too. I smiled after keeping the letter amd went to sleep and enjoy my remaining vacation.

I woke up early and took a bath. I went to the dining area and eat with my family.

"Goodmorning, Selena" my mom greeted.

"Goodmorning, Mom. How's your date with dad?" I asked. I was confused on how my mom looks when i asked her that. She looks pale

"W-well, it went g-good" she answered stammering. I just nodded and smiled. I continued eating while they are talking about bussiness.

I check the time and it's already 9:35am in the morning. I excuse myself because im going to mail officer to deliver my letter to sky. I went out with my small Hermes bag and took a cab.

I was on my way when i passed to a group of kids selling a rose. The kids felt my presence and they run towards me. I smiled and bought all of it and pay them a hundred dollars.

"Keep the change" I smiled.

"Your so kind Ms. and your --- beautiful" said the taller kid. I smiled ang wave them.

"Goodmorning Ms." the body guard greeted and smile. I went to the counter and gave the letter to the staff.

After that, I went to the nearest mall and my eyes caught a crowd of girls. I rolled my eyes and continue walking; suddenly I bumped into something hard and smelled a hypnotizing perfume.

My senses comeback and I realized that it's a man with a sunglasses and a cap and he's wearing a plain tshirt and a khaki shorts.

"Excuse me Ms." the man said and continue walking without saying anything .

I realized that he is the one being surrounded by girls and I saw the murmuring and rolling their eyes on me. I just shrug my shouldee and continue walking while still thinking at the guy I just bumbed with, he looks like someone I know.

After buying some stuff, I took a cab and went home. I was about open the door when I heard mom and dad , it seems like they are fighting, I immediately open the door and their faces turned on me with a surprise look.

"Are u two fighting" I asked. Mom immediately comes near me and hug me. I hug mom back and I heard her sobbing. "We're so sorry, Selena, We can't be togethee anymore. Me and your dad are having a divorce". She talked while facing me and held my shoulder.

I felt a tear of drop in my eyes. I'm surprise and I can't say anything but "Why?" Mom hugged me again "I'm really sorry selena. Remember when you said how's my date with your dad? We weren't having a date we are working the papers for our divorce. I love you and Damon, but i can't take this anymore. Your dad has a mistress and she is pregnant. I'm so sorry" She said while sobbing.

After the revelations and explanations. I went to my room and cry. I thought my dad loves my mom so much. How dare he for having a mistress and got her pregnant and he really have the guts to go home.

NO!

This isn't a home after what happened.

I opened my laptop and message Sky, thankfuly he's online. I saw a lot of messages from him. I said, I'm sorry and he replies. I told him about what happend and he was worried about me. I felt so sleepy and closed my eyes.

I woke up early and read the messages from sky. I took a bath and stay on my room and open my Arena of Valor. I started playing for about how many hours. After playing, I went to the kitchen and I felt my heart tightened because there are no other people than me. Maybe they are busy processing the divorce paper and my brother must be on work. I cooked lucheon and egg for my breakfast and eat alone.

Suddenly the door bell rangs. I open the gate and saw a smiling mailman giving a letter for me, I smiled and accepted it. I walk towards my room and read the letter; my heart suddenly beats so fast as i open it. I was greeted again with a scented paper and read it.

I am smilling form ear to ear after reading. I hope I'll meet him someday. He's going to be the one I can rely on, my savior and the one I can feel comfortable.

I realized it's been a month since i message d my bestfriend . She's on a vacation right now and she didn't even inform me on me what's happening about her.

I dialed her number , and I've tried calling her 2 times and she wasn't answering it. Hays i need you clair.

It's been 6 months and my relationship with sky is still developing. How i wish i could see him. I suddenly felt my heart and i realized I love him already.

I open my phone and message Sky. He replied and we continued chatting that i didn't realize that it's getting late and I need to wake up early, today is the last day of vication. I'm having my class tomorrow.

I went to our classroom and thank god our proffesor hasn't arrived yet.I seat and Erin came closer to me.

"Hello Selena" Erin said.

"Hello" I answered. She nodded and smile. She sits beside me and puts cosmetics in her face.

After class, I went to the cafeteria with my bestfriends Claire and Nazi; we weren't classmate because we have different courses.

We took our food and eat, took selfies and I send it to sky. After eating we went out next subject. After my class, i text Claire that im going home early.

I opened my phone sky messaged me, I was surprised on what he said. I jumped in excitement because of the euphoria that i felt at that moment.

Finally, we're going to meet in personal. Im so happy that i can't remove the smile on my face.

He told me that he is going here nextweek.

It's been a week and this is it, today is the day at look at the clock , oh my gosh its almost noon!

I stand near the entrance my eyes searched for him and i waved my hand. He smiled widely and ran to me when something really horible happend.

A man started shooting randomly and pointed the gun at me. I saw sky running as fast as he could toward me and calling out my name. That next i knew was that sky hugging me and I hugged back i knew there was something wrong at i felt something sticky on my finger. The two of us on the floor, his head on my lap. I cried for help but no one was paying attention.

"Don't you die on me, Sky! I won't let that happen" I yelled him. He weakly reached and touched my face. He forced a smile and tears streamed down form his eyes. "Selena, I saw you at last "

"Just-just hang on. I'll-i'll call for help" he gently pulled my hand, forcing me to stay. "Just ... stay ... Here i don't want you to die".

"I don't want you to die either "

He flashed another smiled at me and out from his pocket khaki envelope and smiled "You should read this okay? Swear that you'll never forget me"

"Don't talk like that"

"Just swear to me, please" I sighed heavily and I heard plead.

"I swear" after his said, his eyes shut and he stopped breathing.

"SKY? SKY? Don't leave me!! Please don't leave me" Then medical team came aiding the victim. Sky didn't revive.

I went home after the accident. I open my room and i open the letter sky has given me.

Hey Selena

I just want to tell you how glad I am to met you. May life changed since the day we started to talk and writing each other. I was really happy when you trusted me with your secrets and seeing advices from me to solve your problems. You're a nice person, a good friend; and we have the same interest. Take care your self always, Selena.

- Sky De Vera

I cried for almost an hour its too late for the two of us. He proved his loved by taking that bullet for me. If it weren't for gun man. There could have been a happy life. I lost the one I loved the one I loved for almost year. I started at Sky's photos. I muttered "Sky, I won't forget you; I promise" How I wish I've seen him before.

This story i've imagine before will stay as my dream. If only i could turn back time but everything is too late.

Pre test

1. What is chamomile?

a. Perfume b. Flow c. Tea

2. Which word is similar to lucheon?

a. Luch b. Miryenda c. Meal

3. How did her parents seperate because of?

a. Financial Problem b. Mistress c. Bussines Tour

4. What is europhia means?

a. Feeling b. Secret c. Advice

5. When she hug sky, what she felt?

a. Sweat b. Bag c. Blood

Post test

1. How much she paid for the flower?

2. Who is the main character?

3. What is the name of her brother?

4. Who is the first person talk when selena have a family problem?

5. Where did sky die?

6. What can you say about the story?

7. How they met selena and sky?

8. What happen to her mom and dad?

9. Where sky live?

10. Who is marga's friends?

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arethereanyoriginalusernames · 5 years

Text

CHARACTER SPOTLIGHT

ADDISON WOODS, P 1

Requested by @zoophobiapika

For anyone who does not know what this is, Character Spotlight 1 is where I criticized how a specified character is written. Part 2 is where I analyze the character and make predictions. Also, I'm doing these in a slightly different format, so if you see me redo my Damian character spotlight, don't be surprised (plus I'm not proud of that one). I am also specifically criticizing how the character is written. I'm no expert when it comes to art, so if you'd like a critique on his design, I'd recommend bugging @rzphhs.

Zoophobia belongs to our fandom's Lord and savior, Vivziepop. This, however, is not a critique of her CURRENT writing skills. Not sure if you noticed, but zoophobia is kinda old. The reason I'm doing this is because I believe that when we analyze stories we love and find flaws within them, we can find ways to improve our own writing. I do not hate Vivziepop, and this is not meant as an attack. Also, you're free to disagree with me. I'm not some godly figure who's always correct. However, I ask that any comments remain civil. If any arguments or whatever break out over this, Imma Chase some bitches with a pool noodle. We good? Let's go.

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" BREAKING NEWS. LOCAL CANADIAN HAS DECIDED TO ONCE AGAIN TALK BAD ABOUT AN INCREDIBLY CUTE CHARACTER! IF YOU HAVE SEEN THIS INDIVIDUAL REPORT THEM TO THE DEPARTMENT OF WHOGIVESAFUCK AND TURN THEM IN IMMEDIATELY. THIS PERSON WAS LAST SEEN ROBBING A STARBUCKS, WHICH YOU'D THINK WOULD BE A BIGGER CRIME, BUT HEY, WE ALL KNOW WHAT TAKES PRIORITY! "

Oh what a lovely day. I haven't slept all night, and I have ammonia or something. Lovely. What a perfect time to talk about a fictional character. Look, if it's any comfort to the fan girls who come across this, part 2 will have me being more of a fan than a critic. Just bare with me for this, and if worse comes to worse, blame Pika.

-----------------------

As per usual, let's get started with some criticism I don't agree with.

Addison looks like a girl

Alright, first of all, don't read my stories. Second, maybe this is because I live in Canada where the need for equality is pounded into your head every other hour, but...yeah? Dudes can look girly. Have you never seen a girly guy before? If so, how? Now, I'm aware that some people have an issue with this because Addi is gay, and girly gays are a common trope when gays are presented in media. While yes, this is true, Addi being a sort of trope isn't necessarily a bad thing. A trope-y character can still be written well and be entertaining. Besides, it's been said that all original ideas have been done before, so good luck trying to ever find a 100% original character anywhere.

-----------------------------

That's about all, but before I tear this character limb from limb, I'd like to go over things I DO like about this character.

He was ok in chapter 3

Yeah, he had problems there too, like when he just stood around and had little to no reaction to his bff turning into a mini cuthulu, but those are not problems exclusive to Addi. He didn't stand out much, per say, but what we got wasn't terrible. His banter with others was fine and even funny at some points.

He has a character motivation

Yeah, his goal to find love is a boring one, but unlike some of our other important characters, he actually has one.

He might be more interesting in the future

Addison is basically an artificial life form created by Xirxene, and not only is Xirxen after him, if Vivz still goes with this concept in the reboot, he apparently has mad sword skills yo, a dark side called Adder, and can summon two giant ass snakes. If that concept is still going to be used, then hell yeah, I'm down for that shit

----------------------------

Now the moment we've been waiting for. What do I have against Addi? Why do I find him annoying as a critic of zp? Grab a cup of maple syrup, because this'll be a doozy. I'll order my issues from least bothersome to the most.

His relationship with Gustav

Ok, I think we can all agree that this relationship was poorly done. While I myself have no problems with this pairing, the way Vivz had them come together was shit. Gustav looks like a pedo creep hitting on a student, and Addi looks like an idiot as he just lets Gustav insult one of his friends. Their relationship is hasty, and the only apparent attraction they have for each other is their looks (and Addi looking like a 12 year old doesn't really help Gustav's pedo case. Don't worry, any concerned readers, there isn't any pedophilia going on. Addi has apparently been aged up to 17, and Gustav is 19)

Just to clarify, hasty relationships in stories aren't in themselves a bad thing. This could serve as a reflection on both the characters. Perhaps they fall in love easily. Perhaps their just the type of people who'd do these sorts of things. The problem here is that Addi is the only one of the two who seems like he'd do this. It's stated by Dame (who could be hyperbolising here for all we know ) that Addi throws himself at guys very often. Gustav, however, doesn't seem to have anything about him that'd suggest he'd be down for dating someone he just met.

You know how this relationship could be fixed? Gustav is 19, so he would've graduated only a year or so ago. So, have him and Addi be old friends who hung out before Gustav graduated. Perhaps have them have an attraction to each other that was initially waved off by Gustav at first, but now he's back, he might be interested now. Also, have them be attracted to each other for more then just looks. Perhaps they respect each other's talents, perhaps they have similar interests. That'd make their relationship a little more believable.

His personality

You know, in all my time spent in the zp fan base, I've noticed that the majority of Addi fans like him because he's cute. Not because of his personality. Just because he's cute. I mean, I don't entirely blame them for focusing on his appearance more because his personality. .....woof.

Zoophobiacomic.com describes his personality as the following;

" Addison likes to keep to himself and spends most of his time working in the Art Wing. While he doesn’t often open up to others and can sometimes hide away an air of elitism, he has developed a close friendship with his classmates Damian and Sahara. Their outward energy and enthusiasm has begun to counteract Addison’s typically introverted nature"

So he's shy, and a bit of an elitist, and he's slowly becoming more self confident. Ok.....now let's look at what the comic itself presents us. For one thing, he's surprising sassy, especially in ch3, not just to Dame, but to Leeson the crazy priest as well. He's also surprisingly self centered. Look at how he reacts to Dame being a shit to other people compared to how he reacts to Dame being a shit to him. Orchestrating an event that gets your cousin set on fire? That's ok. Preventing Addi from going on a date? That bastard! He doesn't even seem to care when Gustav insults one of his best friends. He also doesn't show any regret about attacking Mackenzie. Him having these traits aren't a problem, but this raises a bit of a concern for me since I don't think this is the impression we're supposed to get from his character.

His dumbass decisions

Yes Addison, go off on a date with some sexy random dude when there's an entire organization after you and you have no way of defending yourself. 10/10. 100/100. A+. Gold Star, Gud Job, Perfect Logic, Go buy a colouring book you infant!

His PTSD

Let me get one thing strsight (so at least one thing in this post isn't gay af), I don't have an issue with him having PTSD. My problem is how it's handled. The story acts like Addi attacking Mackenzie is just peachy keen because it was triggered by his ptsd. Except guess what? It isn't.

I'm going to be honest, I (someone with more then one handicap) hate it when those with disabilities are treated like babies, and The world must conform to their needs, and nothing is their fault because mashed potatoes. Look, a handicap can affect how you live your life, but it doesn't mean you get a free ticket to easy street. If anything, your life gets harder. And guess what? People babying you and pretending that your disability prevents you from any fault DOESN'T HELP. IT MAKES YOU WORSE. I'll use one of my own handicaps as an example. I have Auditory Processing Disorder. One symptom is that I can't hear myself, do I often talk incredibly loudly without realising it. Now imagine I went through life always yelling because no one told me to take it down a peg. Soon, yelling would become a habit, and it'd be a much harder problem to fix.

You guys starting to realize why other characters acting like Addi did nothing wrong bothers me? That's not how you react when someone with a disability does something like Addi does. It also makes me concerned that the comic will continue down the route of "oh, he has a disorder, so he's not really at fault ", excusing various bad things Addi does on his PTSD.

--------------------

So now I've typed out enough words to rewrite the American constitution, I'll end it here. Thank you for reading, and tell me what you think. If you'd like to see me critique another character like this, feel free to request it.

I apologize for wasting your time.

-ATOUN

#zoophobia #zoophobia addison #zoophobia critique #zp #vivzmind

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