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swannieluv · 2 months

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｡ﾟ･The Bold Mendacity - 𝟖. Request and permission

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐆.𝐈 𝐕𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 (𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜) 𝐱 𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 – 𝐖𝐜: 2,3k – ✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆!!: none. – 𝐀/𝐍: It's been so long since the last chapter. New chapters are already being written! – ✦⸼࣪⸳𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨: ♡ - likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated!!

There's a week until your birthday and how fast has time passed since you were reborn. As you sat in your room writing a letter to Freminet, you couldn't help yourself from looking at the raindrops falling down the window's glass. You two had been exchanging a lot of letters daily, talking about the most random stuff such as the weather or what you should do at the festival. In your last letter, you asked for advice from Freminet when it came to asking for stuff. You didn't want to be greedy on your request to go out.

‘Maybe you should talk to her in a nice way. I also do not like asking for stuff so I try to be nice to my mom and help her with things Clorinde is your older sister so she must take you there.’

His letters often came with a few grammar errors or punctuation ones. He was still learning how to write despite being already eight, which isn't surprising since he didn't have much education like you, who were being raised in the Temple; and Freminet… Well, Freminet told you once he had never written a letter before writing to you. Though, it never bothered you. Being able to exchange letters has been one of the best things of your reincarnation.

After making sure his letter had been replied, you put it in a box to send it tomorrow. Now your care would go to “Furina”. Just a blue ribbon would've been enough to make the mechanical puppy look cute, yet you insisted on painting blue eyes in it. "Furina" was a bit rusty, perhaps a consequence of being in Freminet's pocket when he dived in to save you. It wasn't that bad, but the movements weren't working as they should.

Tic tac, tic tac.

Your attention went to the old wall clock. Normally, Sister Dora would ask you to bring towels or some water for Clorinde. It wasn't that she neglected her own needs, but it was good to have someone to help her if she needed anything. Clorinde takes her training very seriously, even practicing during storms. And since Sister Dora isn't here, which meant you were in charge of doing it by yourself.

“Should I get her water? It's raining outside though… Do people need to hydrate when they're in the rain?”

“Oh, I should be going now.” You took a towel from the closet and an umbrella for yourself and possibly Clorinde.

You fixed your uniform for the last time before opening the door, being met with the monochromatic white hallway. The same dreadful silence adorned the lonely atmosphere, which you were already used to.

Walking through the corridors, you made sure to take a different route just so as to not go through that damned statue. It still gave goosebumps every time you saw it.

The clicking sound of footsteps was all that could be heard. Why was it always so quiet whenever you were the one walking around? You were sure people were really active because you could hear voices from inside your room the whole day.

You stopped in front of the door that led to the training grounds, where Clorinde was. It was a big wooden door with two door latches, one near the ground and other a bit too high for you to reach. As a solution, you took the umbrella you brought and tried to unlock the latch with its pointed part.

And that was when the access to the outside was freed, coming with a cold breeze making you shiver. It was raining slightly more than you initially thought; and in the middle of the grounds you saw her.

The sight of Clorinde standing there with a sword — a metallic one this time, much different from the little wooden sword she carried when you first met her — made you pause on your tracks. She looked so cool like that, just like the heroes on book pages.

“I wanted to be cool like that,” you whispered absentmindedly, just repeating something you had the sensation of having or not said once.

“You know I can see you, right?” Clorinde forced her voice a bit louder so you would hear it.

For a second you had forgotten your original purpose. You left the towels on a dry place, opened your umbrella and went to where she was standing, getting your boots dirty with the muddy water.

“I brought two towels for you. Sister Dora says you shouldn't train in the rain or you'll get sick!” You tried to scold her, with a pout on your lips.

“I won't get sick and you know that.” She took your hands and placed the umbrella in a way it would cover you more as the wind carried the raindrops. “You should go back inside. We wouldn't want you sick on your birthday, would we?”

She walked away, without talking or doing much. Clorinde took one of the towels and went back inside, leaving you there in the rain.

Nighttime finally set in. Your boredom these last few days has been killing you. There wasn't anything to do after completing your daily chores and Freminet only visits once a week.

Clorinde was at the desk, writing something with the help of light that came from the candles. Things between you and Clorinde had been a bit… difficult recently. She has been off training more often and you barely see her during the day. The only time you both stay together is during the night as you both share the same room.

Her gaze was focused while writing, with softer eyes and lips curved slightly upwards. Clorinde seemed more relaxed than usual, even more than when she's with you. And it only added to your initial curiosity, so you decided to take a peek at what she wrote.

From your bed, it was possible to take a peek at what she was writing. Not much, but you could understand a few words. But a particular name in the beginning of the letter made you even more curious.

“Hm… Who’s ‘Navia’?” you questioned her by pointing to the name of the addressee.

Clorinde's eyes widened as she rushed to put an arm on top of the letter before you could glimpse the actual contents. “[Name], you can't just come unnoticed and read someone's stuff. It's uneducated.”

Her scolding made your small grin drop. It had been some time ever since you two last smiled with each other.

“I want you to spend time with you. Being alone is sooo boring!” you put your hands together as if begging for Clorinde to stop what she was doing for a second.

“Can't you just stay with Sister Dora or—”

“She’s traveling, again. You know that.” You took “Furina” from the desk and fidgeted with it as boredom kept devouring your happiness. The only audible sound in the room was that of mechanical parts clicking.

The two of you weren't spending much time together lately, and it has been bothersome because Clorinde wouldn't engage in any conversation or activity with you. Drawing with her? Too childish, she stopped doing it when you were around four; playing with toys? You barely had any, and she was fifteen so the chance of her accepting was too low.

You had definitely gotten attached to her, and the thought of not being able to stay close to her was surely torturing.

“She must have gone to Mondstadt, maybe she'll bring you trinkets.” Clorinde answered as her gaze went to you, or maybe to “Furina” in your hands. “Again… Where exactly did you get it from?”

“My friend Freminet. He's my friend, a good friend… a friend who spends time with me if you want to know…”

Clorinde sighed and crossed her arms. There was no way she would be able to deny being neglectful to your needs nowadays, yet she couldn't do much with how busy her agenda became. She had three years before turning eighteen, her childhood ended years ago and now Clorinde had to work hard on her future.

“Are you mad because I'm not spending time with you?”

“I'm not mad but it feels… lonely.”

It felt selfish, and maybe it really was. You couldn't trap Clorinde by your side forever, she was turning into an adult soon and you'll still be a child while it happens. For some reason, as you thought about it, your throat started aching as if there was something inside it. But you tried to brush it away.

“I don't… I don't want to leave you alone, and you know that.” Clorinde cut the silence by stating that. She seemed genuine in her words.

“But you're going to, anyway.”

Clorinde placed her pen down and turned around, so as to not face your eyes. It hurt remembering the old days of playing with her as she was still a child, when she used to carry you around like a bag and how Sister Dora had to teach her the way to hold a toddler properly.

‘If only I could tell her the truth… would things be any different?’ You couldn't reveal the fact you've actually reincarnated and that you're a teenager on the inside, just like her. Clorinde's exactly the same age you were before being executed, and soon she'll be even older than that. ‘I’ve seen this kid growing to be honest—’

You coughed before looking at her again. She seemed to have something on her mind, thoughtfully in silence.

“So let's do like this… what do you think about spending your birthday with me this year.” She put a hand over your head and gave you a pat.

“Spending time with me…” You thought about it for a second before it just clicked in your mind: ‘This is the perfect timing.’

And so, you gathered all the courage inside to finally tell her what you've been intending to say for the past few days. And with sad puppy eyes and clasped hands, you begged her. It was a trick you learned because whenever you did it, Clorinde and Sister Dora let you eat chocolate, and it worked with anything else.

It was the perfect time to use your privilege of being a child. You never asked her for anything much now that you think about it, so it might work.

“Then please take me to the Fontinalia Festival on my birthday! Please, please!”

“As in a birthday gift?” Clorinde crossed her arms and thought for a few seconds before nodding her head. “I… I would have to try to get permission and…”

‘I would have to speak with the administration… but I'm still underage so they probably won't let me take [Name] out.’ Clorinde’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a hug attack.

[Name] excitedly jumped on her, giving Clorinde a tight hug. It wasn't enough to make her fall from the chair, but strong enough to surprise Clorinde.

“Please talk to them! Please, please, please!”

[Name]’s eyes had a glow to them, a glow of excitement. It was now obvious to Clorinde how much they wanted to get out of the Temple for a day. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to try? It wouldn't hurt to, she already has ‘no’ as an answer so why not try for a yes?

“I'll try.”

“Yay! Big sister Clorinde is the best!” You laughed sweetly while hugging her even tighter. You were going out! You were finally going outside to the world!

A few seconds later, you coughed once more. But this time... It was water, again. And so your doubts started arising.

The Temple hall's peacefulness was clearly one of its many charms. Clorinde often found herself strolling around them aimlessly, going wherever her feet could reach. She finds herself stopping in front of the Hydro Archon's statue a few times, admiring the details put in such work of art.

Today was supposed to be one of these days. However, she was called by the Temple's administrator and planned to ask to take [Name] to the center of the city.

Her heels’ clacking sound stopped as soon as she paused in front of a large dark wood door. Clorinde has come to this place many times before and still got a bit nervous every single one of them.

With a hint of hesitation, Clorinde knocked twice on the door. The noise echoed along the corridor in a ghostly way, making her take a little glance behind her while waiting for permission to enter the room.

“Come inside,” an old voice commanded. It was a bit raspy, but seemingly amicable.

Clorinde grabbed the doorknobs before pushing it, revealing the fancy yet old-fashioned office. In the center, the mosaic window created a gleaming light bright enough to blind her, and so she shifted her eyes to the one seated in the middle desk: the Temple's administrator himself.

He was a middle aged man whose blonde hair was starting to get gray. He sat behind his desk, surrounded by documents and thick books. “Good afternoon, Clorinde.”

It's not like Clorinde and him were on bad terms. It's quite the opposite, he was kind and respectful of every single person who worked inside the building; and that was a problem since Clorinde is not affiliated with the Temple, any of the two remaining ones.

Next to the bookshelves, stood a tall figure Clorinde couldn't recognize. A man who was using a cane to support himself while analyzing the thousands of titles on those shelves.

“We have an important visitor with us today,” the old man laughed before extending a hand in the others direction. “It would be an honor to introduce you to our Iudex, Monsieur Neuvillette.”

Clorinde's eyes widened slightly, she was caught by surprise. The Chief Justice was in front of her, after all.

As the Iudex’s eyes met Clorinde's, she couldn't help but feel extremely nervous. This wasn't a normal meeting, there was surely something behind it. The Iudex was known as an extremely busy man, so what was the motive behind his visit?

For now, however, only the walls would hear what was discussed in that office.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin platonic #fontaine #genshin fontaine #genshin x gender neutral reader #clorinde x reader #clorinde #neuvillette #x reader

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videogames-i-wish-were-real · 5 months

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Videogames I wish were real #85

Oh to live in play a pixel art Pokemon farming sim. You have a cute lil house you can decorate to your liking. Every day you get to take care of your berries and apricorns. You get to feed and pet and take care of your pokemon. There's minigames where you get to bath them or play stuff like hide and seek or tag or tic-tac-toe or with them. You can pick one pokemon to follow you around. When you reach a high enough friendship level with one pokemon they'll sometimes bring you gifts and you can ask them to help you with some chores around the house or the farm. You use the wool you get from Mareeps and Wooloos to knit sweaters and socks and blankets. You make cheese and butter with the milk you get from Miltank. Once you progress enough in the game you get to open a cute lil store in the town where you sell all your homemade wares to the townspeople and also items to visiting trainers such as the pokeballs you make from apricorns. Every couple of months you turn on your tv and hear about a ten year old saving the world and half the time you know the kid because they've been to your store. Sometimes you'll find wild pokemon you can approach and befriend. No combat mechanics, you feed the pokemon or pet them or offer them shinies and they usually leave you alone except sometimes they'll follow you home. The cute lil town you live in has a ton of festivities and charming npcs. You can ask npcs to be your (platonic or not) roommates, you can marry npcs, you can have kids or adopt them (without being on a relationship) or stay single. There's no limit to how many pokemon beds you can place inside your house. You can place pokebeds, food and water bowls anywhere in the world. You can also fish and dive and mine and forage. If you leave a bunch of berries in an ancient hidden shrine to Groudon/Kyogre you can ensure that the next day is rainy or extra sunny. One time you ran into Palkia and Dialga and offered them some really tasty pokepuffs so now you have the gods of space and time at your beck and call and you can basically time travel and teleport as long as you give them treats first. You like to stay up late on the nights when the tv says there's going to be Minior showers to watch the colorful falling stars with your pokemon cuddled at your side. Life is good.

Similar games that actually exist: Stardew Valley, Pokemon, Moonstone Island, Ooblets, Monster Harvest, Critter Crops, Ova Magica

#viwwr #videogames i wish were real #videogames #video games #stardew valley #pokemon #moonstone island #ooblets #monster harvest #critter crops #ova magica #farming games #concepts #writeblr #writers of tumblr #game design

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allamericansbitch · 11 months

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Hi everyone! Here’s the newest addition to my Creator Shoutout Series (june 25 - jule 2)! For info about the series, I explained it in the first post here, but generally, it’s to show appreciate to editors and their creations that i love from the past week. To track this series or look at previous shoutouts, please check out the tag on my blog *creatorshoutouts. Have a great week everyone!

the bear: food in 2x03 gifset by @manny-jacinto

heartstopper gifset by @kitconnor

yellowjackets: characters + major arcana gifset by @mistyquigly

everything everywhere all at once gifset by @shegos

the last of us gifset by @thozaoaks

the bear: sydney and carmy gifset by @trueloveistreacherous

megan thee stallion gifset by @melodramas

maisie peters: the good witch + ages gifset by @swearphil

stranger things: steve harrington + text posts gifset by @djo

the bear: sydney adamu gifset by @limitedseries

yellowjackets gifset by @liv-hewsons

maisie peters: the good witch graphic by @cruellesummer

taylor swift: bejeweled graphic by @piecesintoplaces

the bear: richie jerimovich + taylor swift gifset by @savagegood

parks and recreation: leslie and ben gifset by @allsonargent

the bear: 2x04 gifset by @thevelvetgoldmine

maisie peters: the good with + creation & control gifset by @jakeperalta

the last of us gifset by @heroeddiemunson

the bear: marcus in 2x04 gifset by @abnerkrill

maisie peters: history of man graphic by @shirleykeelder

succession: shiv roy gifset by @janinegregory

the last of us: tommy miller gifset by @petersthree

maisie peters: the good witch graphic by @lochsides

taylor swift: fearless graphic by @ssafeandsound

heartstopper: characters + rainbow colors gifset by @antoniosvivaldi

the last of us: bill gifset by @trashcora

the bear icons by @barbie-movie

monsters inc gifset by @kpfun

narcos: javier peña + tac vest gifset by @lo-hi

the bear: carmy berzatto gifset by @dieterbravo

arctic monkeys: glastonbury festival 2013 gifset by @alexturner

maisie peters: history of man gifset by @magicandmaybes

olivia rodrigo: vampire edit by @dearreader

taylor swift: lyric graphic by @hits-differently

olivia rodrigo: vampire gifset by @kiimtaehyung

maisie peters/olivia rodrigo/conan gray parallels gifset by @swearphil

the bear: carmy berzatto gifset by @experienceandobservation

stranger things: robin buckley gifset by @wheelerbuckley

yellowjackets: taissa and van gifset by @cobiesmlders

abbott elementary: ava coleman looks gifset by @nessa007

halsey gifset by @kitconnor

maisie peters: the good witch lyrics graphic by @lenoreamidala

yellowjackets: shauna and jackie gifset by @lottie-matthew

the princess diaries gifset by @thepunkpanther

the last of us gifset by @peytonsawyers

succession graphic by @fearwakes

olivia rodrigo: vampire gifset by @melodramas

the bear: carmy berzatto gifset by @starryyshadows

lorde: helen of troy graphic by @andtosaturn

taylor swift: haunted graphic by @thingsiwishyousaid

olivia rodrigo: vampire gifset by @chriswevans

maisie peters: the history of man graphic by @agoddamnvampire

yellowjackets: enneagram gifset by @mistyquigly

the bear gifset by @userparamore

taylor swift: the archer graphic by @ifthiswasamovie27

olivia rodrigo: vampire gifset by @alreadygotone

the shining gifset by @nowadayz

maisie peters: history of man graphic by @handgf

taylor swift: folklore eras tour graphic by @sadbeautifutragic

olivia rodrigo: vampire graphic by @cruellesummer

stranger things: mike wheeler gifset by @mikeandwillel

yellowjackets gifset by @userdanewhitman

succession: kendall roy gifset by @barbieharrington

the bear gifset by @savagegood

yellolwjackets: natalie scatorccio gifset by @ginaricky

the last of us: characters + tarot cards gifset by @skyshipper

maisie peters: bcs graphic by @alreadygotone

taylor swift gifset by @castlescrumblingtv

muna gifset by @phoebesbridgers

yellowjackets: lottie and laura lee gifset by @alexcabotgf

#*creatorshoutouts

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xplainthexmen · 6 months

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In which you should stop hatin’, there’s a big difference between fill-ins and filler, Snow Valley needs higher Ferris wheel standards, Todd DeZago must really hate video rental clerks, and we’re all monsters – some of us just smell better than others.

X-PLAINED:

Strong Guy’s hellacious history

The nature and purpose of X-Men Unlimited

X-Men Unlimited #20-21

Rock Trolls (Chambliss, Nettles, and Munson)

What Asgard was up to in 1998

Magik vs magic

The Snow Valley Harvest Festival

Jubilation Lee, one of the guys

Eagles vs Hats

Fatman, Beardlady-o, Stickman-o, & Frogman-o

Tic Tac Toe fundamentals

Angry mobs

Paige Guthrie, Angry Mom

The many potential applications of Husk’s powers

Falls Edge, VA vs Eagle Ridge, WV

Payphones & video rental stores

X-friends

Rutland, VT (again)

Melvin J. Weals

Helen Back

The Donnybrook Country Club

Cat Fancier & Motorcycle Conventions

The Shi’ar Wardrobe Transmogrifier

Steel (the Shaq one)

The worst pun we’ve ever seen in a comic

Earth: the Hipster Planet

Which X-Men throw the best and/or wildest Halloween parties

Fan-casting X-voices

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!

Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog!

Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

#xplainthexmen #jay and miles x plain the x men #podcast #generation x #x factor

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godsleastfavoritewriter · 1 year

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Christmas Decorating gone... Right?

Citrusy holiday with Kate, surely nothing will bother you

Y/N x Kate

Because Yelena made such a big deal about waiting until AFTER thanksgiving to celebrate Christmas, you and Kate decided that today was the best day to start putting up decor. Although thanksgiving was fun, you and Kate both love Christmas decor and being able to get into the spirit. Slowly you both take out boxes from hiding to find all the boxes filled with only the best decor.

“Babe! Can you help me with this pleaseeee!” You yell desperately pulling on the long rectangular box. The hole as a handle rips which makes you fall back just in time for Kate to see. Giggling she helps you back up, “You need to be careful Cupcake, this box will not last forever if you keep treating it like that. It’s probably very hurt now.” She teases as she goes to the other side of the box. “Wow, maybe I won’t help you if you’re gonna tease me like that.” Y/N laughs as she rubs her butt “this hurts ya know!” Making emphasis on her but she laughs with Kate. “Hey, it was your idea to get an 6ft tree so you’re helping me move this big ass box.” Kate gave you a knowing look while smiling. Together you both moved the box to the main area.

You dust your hands off once you take a good look at the multiple boxes laid in front of you. “Okay! How about you do the tree and I’ll hang stuff up first!” You smiled at Kate knowing very well how much you would rather put gum in ur hair than put that tree back together again. Kate sighed while walking towards you, “Fine. But you owe me since your not gonna help.” She rolled her eyes before giving you a kiss on the forehead. You chuckled to yourself, happy that you got a get out of jail free card this year. You turned on the music and the festivities of the holiday were finally beginning. Since you wanted to get hanging stuff done first you decided you were going to change some photos with holiday photos from before. It was always nice being able to see how the both of you looked when you were kids, and how you and Kate’s relationship changed throughout the years. You found the mistletoe in the same box, although it was very fake it was still cute. You decided that you wanted to hang it in the hallway entrance this year, since you and Kate are hosting a Christmas party for all the avengers it seems a fitting place. It’ll be easy to catch people under it as well. Because you have to hang it on the ceiling you decide to grab a small ladder. Kate of course took notice of what you were doing while trying to carefully set up the fake tree, she smirks to herself, she’s happy that she finally found her person in life to share memories with, she’s loved you for so long she couldn’t imagine life any different. Before grabbing the mistletoe you decide it’s best to first make sure that the ladder is tall enough to reach the ceiling. You carefully go up the small ladder and on your tip toes you can reach it, not perfectly but well enough that you can hang the decoration with a small tac. You grab the tac and the mistletoe and adjust the ladder perfectly in the middle, you carefully go up again. You finally got the tac in all the way when you feel a pair of hands on your legs. “Yeah that’s a perfect spot indeed.” Kate states while you admire your work, when you finally look down at her you realize she was definitely not talking about the mistletoe, but how the ladder places you perfectly to have your crotch at eye level to her. Kate looks at you with pleading eyes, they look like they have been starved, “I also admire the mistletoe, don’t worry.” You close your eyes as you laugh at her but quickly open them with a gasp when you feel Kate’s lips peck your crotch. She looks at you innocent like, “what? Was a kiss not supposed to happen?” She grabs your legs and turns around while slowly putting you down. “Here” she kisses you gently and passionately, you can’t help but melt in the kiss. She slowly moves you back until you are pressed against the wall. She deepens the kiss as she places her knee between your legs. You both separate and look into each others eyes. “You really are the most perfect girl, you know that?” She cups your face as she compliments you, “you are absolutely stunning cupcake.” She moves her knee against you forcing you to grind against her. Your face heats up and you melt into her palm you can’t help but push your face into her hand. With her other hand Kate pushes some of your hair off your now exposed neck and starts to kiss your shoulder slowly making her way up to below you jawline where she makes a small mark. She continues up to your ear and whispers, “I think this is a perfect way to pay me back.” She kisses your cheek before looking straight at you. “Does that sound good love?” You shake your head yes growing desperate now, “You need to use your words love if you want to get what you want.” She moved back a little and put her knee back. “Yes, yes it sounds good.” You basically beg in response, this women makes you so desperate for her it doesn’t even seem real. With your words Kate quickly threw you over her shoulder and headed straight to the bedroom where she gently throws you down on the bed. “That’s what I love to hear.” Kate states as grabs your feet to pull you closer to her and starts to kiss you.

#kate bishop #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop x y/n #kate bishop fanfic #marvel fanfic #Kate #kate bishop mcu

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 5 months

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Christmas Reruns 2023 Day 21: Deck the Halls...or Maybe the Neighbor

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t! One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia. A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns. So here you go! Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Rating: G

Word Count: 2253

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Notes: This story was written for my “Christmas with Captain Swan” collection in 2020.

CS Genre: Enemies to Lovers AU

She was going to kill him. She was going to drive a stake of holly through his heart or strangle him with a strand of Christmas lights or…well, some other holiday themed method of homicide.

Emma worked hard all day chasing down the scum of the earth and hauling their worthless asses back to jail where they belonged. Was it really too much to ask that she have a little peace and quiet downtime to relax once she got home.

According to the idiot who lived in the apartment directly above hers, apparently so. Every damn day since Thanksgiving he’d blared his Christmas music loud enough to wake the ghost of Christmas past. Sometimes he even enthusiastically belted along with it. (She had to admit his voice wasn’t half bad, but that was entirely beside the point.)

Emma hissed as she dabbed at the cut beside her eye where tonight’s skip had clocked her. She’d got him in the end; Emma Swan always got her man, but now that the adrenaline of the chase was over, her cuts and bruises and sore muscles were screaming at her.

And the guy in the apartment above had just started singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” at the top of his lungs.

Emma growled, tossing the bloody cotton ball into her bathroom trash and getting to her feet. Enough was enough. This stopped now. He could take his merry little Christmas and shove it up his south pole.

Two minutes later, she stood before his apartment. Pounding on the door felt extremely satisfying if she did say so herself.

The music suddenly stopped, and a moment later the door opened, and for the first time Emma got a glimpse of the man who’d been the bane of her existence for the past two weeks.

Her jaw dropped. He was drop dead gorgeous, melt-an-entire-population-of-snowmen hot.

“Well hello, there, Love,” he said with an appreciative grin-and in an accent that had her toes curling in her boots. “How can I help you?”

Emma’s stomach swooped and her heart stuttered and then started racing. She blinked and the spell was broken. She wasn’t some teenager who drooled over hot guys. Especially hot guys that she’d been seriously contemplating murdering five minutes ago.

“If you don’t stop with the Christmas crap, I’m going to punch your stupid, festive face,” she gritted out.

His eyebrows raised. “Pardon?”

“Your music!” she said. “Every freaking day, everytime I get home you’re blaring the Christmas music, and it got old about five minutes after you started. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that I have a little peace and quiet in my own home.”

He huffed a breath. “Darling, I had no idea anyone was even in the building in the middle of the afternoon. Did it ever occur to you to come to me and ask me to turn down my music?”

She had to admit he had a point there. Maybe yelling at him and threatening bodily harm wasn’t the best opening salvo, but it had been a long day, and she was in pain, and she wasn’t in the mood to be reasonable.

“Look, just turn it down,” she said, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

“Your wish is my command,” he said with biting sarcasm, sketching a mock bow. “Now is there anything else you wish to yell at me about or may I get back to my tasks at hand?”

“Nope. That’s all,” she said.

“Good,” he said and then tacked on a biting “merry Christmas” before shutting the door in her face.

The next morning, Emma was rather embarrassed about her interaction with Hot Christmas Guy upstairs, as she’d been calling him in her mind. She’d had a frustrating day–the skip she’d gone after had left his wife and kids just before Christmas, taking every penny of their Christmas fund.

It hit too close to home for a girl who had grown up with no family, with no one. Hard to get into the warm and fuzzy Christmas spirit when no one gave a crap about you.

She’d been too harsh with Hot Christmas Guy, but at least the results were in her favor. He’d been as good as his word, and if he’d continued playing his Christmas music, he’d done it at a low enough volume that she didn’t even hear it.

Emma had only just begun to think she should go upstairs and apologize, when suddenly there was a knock at her door.

She opened the door to find the man himself, standing there holding a large plate of cookies. Her stomach not only swooped this time; it did cartwheels. The guy looked even better in the bright light of morning with his slightly disheveled black hair, his reddish scruff, his blue button down that highlighted his even bluer eyes and his black leather jacket.

“I’m afraid we came to rather a bad start, yesterday,” he said. “Perhaps we might start again, Aye? My name is Killian Jones, and I’d like to offer you these Christmas cookies as a token of my apology for the excessive volume of my music.”

Emma took a step back and gestured for him to enter her apartment. “Hey, I’m Emma Swan, and no apology is necessary. In fact, I kind of think I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have just come out swinging like that.”

He smiled at her, the fine lines around his (beautiful) eyes crinkling with the gesture. “Apology accepted Love. I’ll leave you to your morning.”

He turned to leave, but suddenly, Emma didn’t want him to go. “Killian wait!” she said.

Obediently he stopped, eyebrows raised in question.

“Would you like to stay and help me eat these cookies?”

He shot her a skeptical look. “Dessert at nine in the morning?”

She shrugged. “Can’t be much more unhealthy than my normal blueberry PopTart.”

Killian laughed then, taking a step back inside. “Do you at least have milk to wash them down with?”

“Of course.”

Killian ended up staying for two hours, and it amazed Emma how quickly they fell into conversation. It was like they were old friends catching up rather than relative strangers. Emma learned that Killian was a novelist. His music helped him with the creative process, jump started his creativity as it were.

The conversation had then turned to the upcoming holiday.

“Swan, do you not celebrate Christmas?” he’d asked, looking around her apartment.

She shrugged. “I mean, I guess I do. I’m not like opposed to Christmas or anything. Why?”

“I can’t help but notice you have no tree, no decorations of any kind, and your opposition to the music of the season is well established,” he said.

Emma looked around her neat but rather sterile apartment and shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t see the point of going to all that trouble. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to have any presents under the tree or anyone to share the holiday with.”

She had expected him to look at her with pity at her admission of just how alone she was, but instead, the look on his face was knowing, understanding. “The holidays are difficult when you’re alone, aren’t they?”

That surprised her. Was he speaking from personal experience?

“Aye love,” he said, answering her unasked question, “I suspect we have more in common than you might have supposed. Ever since my brother passed a decade ago, I’ve been on my own. The holidays always bring with them a special kind of melancholy.”

“But…” she began, “but you play Christmas music. From the glimpse I got of your apartment yesterday, you have all the decorations and trappings. Doesn’t that make the loneliness worse?”

He shook his head. “It helps me to remember the good memories, and there are always good memories if you dig deep enough.”

The conversation stuck with her long after she and Killian had said goodbye and gone their separate ways. Maybe…maybe he was right. Maybe if she let a little Christmas cheer into her life, it would help, even in a small part, to soothe the pain of a lifetime of loneliness.

The next morning, bright and early, there was a knock on Emma’s door. This time she smiled as she went to the door, knowing instinctively that she’d find Killian on the other side.

What she wasn’t expecting was the large, beautiful, fragrant pine tree he was holding in front of him.

“What’s this?” she asked, opening the door wider so that he could awkwardly maneuver himself and the tree inside.

“This, Swan,” he said with a teasing grin, “is called a Christmas tree. Traditionally people set them up in their houses this time of year and decorate them with lights and colorful baubles.”

She grinned, rolling her eyes at him and playfully swatting his shoulder. “I know what it is, smart ass. I’m wondering why you brought it here.”

He propped the tree against the door, and then reached up to scratch at the spot behind his ear. “I got to thinking after our conversation yesterday. I wanted to bring you some of the Christmas joy that has helped me through the season for years. I hope I’ve not overstepped by bringing this.”

Emma smiled gently, stepping up to place a hand on his arm. “This is really sweet, Killian,” she said. “Thanks.”

“It was my pleasure,” he said, stepping outside to gather the boxes of lights, ornaments and tinsel he had waiting for him. “If you’ve the time and inclination, I thought perhaps we could decorate your apartment together.”

She took one of the boxes from him and set it on her living room floor. “As it turns out, I have the day off, and decorating a tree sounds like the perfect way to pass the time. If you play your cards right, I might even let you play some Christmas music while we work.”

They’d spent the entire day together, first decorating her tree, then splitting a pizza from the place down the street, talking, laughing, and genuinely enjoying each other’s company.

The next day he was back, and the day after that she went to his apartment. Barely a day went by that they didn’t see each other. Each day brought a new holiday themed activity.

For the first time she could remember, Emma felt the magic of Christmas. For the first time she woke up looking forward to what the day might bring–and it was all due to Killian Jones. It should scare her how comfortable she felt with him. It should scare her how much she was coming to look forward to their time together, to their daily phone calls and text conversations.

But somehow it didn’t. She could read people; it’s what made her so good at her job. And Killian? She read him loud and clear. He was the real deal. She could trust him.

And so it was that when the idea occurred to her she didn’t let herself think too hard, merely acted.

“So I was thinking,” she said, turning toward him on the couch where they sat together watching Christmas movies on Christmas eve.

“Dangerous prospect, love,” he said with a teasing grin. She smacked his shoulder.

“I think that we should spend Christmas together,” she said.

This shouldn’t be that big of a deal–after all, they’d spent the last two weeks together–but somehow it was. Somehow spending Christmas together felt huge. Like this-could-be-the-start-of-something-life-changing huge.

Killian’s eyes widened. He clearly understood how momentous this question really was. After a moment, his look of surprise softened into a gentle smile, and he reached up and cupped her cheek. “Emma, I’d like nothing better than to spend Christmas with you.”

The relief, the joy that came over her at his answer overwhelmed her, and so she did the only thing that seemed to make sense in the moment. She leaned forward and kissed him.

On Christmas, they made plans to spend New Years together, and on New Years, they made plans for Valentine’s Day.

And on the following Christmas, Killian got down on one knee and asked her to make plans with him for the rest of their lives.

It seemed only fitting that for their wedding several months later, they play Christmas music. After all, without the sounds of the season, the beautiful, perfect life they’d built for themselves may never have begun.

NEXT CHAPTER->

#christmas reruns 2023 #cs fanfiction #captain swan christmas ff #my fanfiction #deck the halls...or maybe the neighbor

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shefanispeculator · 8 months

Text

Barmageddon is back for another round.

The celebrity game show, executive produced by and starring Blake Shelton and Carson Daly, is returning for Season 2 with host and WWE Hall of Famer Nikki Garcia.

Shelton, 47, Daly, 50, and Garcia, 39, will return to The Voice judge's Music City bar Ole Red where their celebrity friends will compete in a set of fun-filled bar games.

The trailer, premiering exclusively with PEOPLE, reveals that a new set of games like Fool’s Ball, Tic Tac Throwdown and Talk Derby to Me, will be featured this season, as well as guests like Kelly Clarkson, Boyz II Men, David Arquette and more.

In the one-minute trailer, Shelton declares "the need for redemption will be bigger than ever" as "the games will be crazier."

Additional celebrity competitors this season include Michelle Rodriguez, Gwen Stefani, Carly Pearce, Ice T, Nikki Glaser and Jelly Roll.

According to a press release, Season 2 will also feature a special holiday episode where Shelton will invite Ice T to his winter wonderland with a festive twist on games including Merry Axe-Mas, Doodle All the Way, Little Drummer Boy (and Girl), Reindeer Games and Christmas Carol-okie.

"Back in the day, I would say the 28-year-old version of Blake Shelton on Barmageddon [would have been] way different than the 46-year-old version now," he added. "Now I like to watch other people do stupid stuff — not necessarily be the one doing it."

"We're both very dumb men, and we come up with lots of what we think are great ideas," jokes Daly. "We almost started a beef jerky company."

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howl-fantasies · 2 years

Note

Hey could u do one when y/n gets her period while Victor is on a job outside of Gotham and she had to stay for whatever reason and is getting mood swings and maybe she ends up at the good and asks jim for a water he says no and she starts crying and everyone is very concerned and texts Victor and then something happens idk thx u know I luv ur stories all the luv ~Princess

Hello dear! First of all, I am so sorry for the delay with this and basically all requests. But as I said a few days ago, I'll try to answer all of them!

The idea is a very good one to be honest, and imagining Jim making her cry and everyone starting to panic makes me laugh so hard!

Warning: English mistakes, I'm on my phone and it's not my first language, sorry for that, I'm working on it. A lot of bad words, violence, it's Gotham after all. Long post, got a bit carried away here.

How would you define a shitty day? Some would think about breaking anything they touch. Others about having a hard time at work, being screamed at by their obnoxious boss. For her? Answer was simple: having her period, and having to spend the week without the dickhead calling himself her husband.

Don't get her wrong she loves the idiot, but he knew her excruciating week was about to start and just run away like a coward, jumping on a mission far away from Gotham and abandoning her. What happened to the: "for better and worse" He vowed to honor when he coaxed her into marrying him, uh?! The little piece of shit.

"Don't you think the man has enough bullets inside of him to be confused with a pistol magazine, Y/N?" Groaned Carmine, standing behind her and folding his arms in front of him like a chastising father.

"Well, I would have been delighted to make him look like a box of tampons if I didn't need them so badly this week, Carmine." She sighed, while putting her guns back in their holsters and turning to look at him. Her eyes caught the livid face of Oswald, a few steps away from them. At least one funny thing today she thought.

The heavy sigh of the King of Gotham brought her focus back on him. He knew she would be insufferable. He knew it the minute he sent Victor away, telling him he would be able to deal with his woman. As a father of another female, he was pretty sure he would be able to handle the walking bomb currently in front of him.

Zsasz warned him about her non-existent patience, her extreme mood swings and the fact that he usually hide all weapons in their flat. Dear lord... Carmine found it a little bit extreme at this time and just decided to ignore the whole red alert. What a mistake. Now his favorite carpet was stained, ruined and one of his goons had so much iron in him they wouldn't even have to attach his feet to some weight to make him drow like a stone. He was too old for this...

"Y/N my dear. I appreciate you beyond measure. But right now, I think you need a walk and some fresh air to clear your mind. Go. Go in town, have some fun, just not to much and I'll call you if I need anything." The old man said.

Hearing the boss dismissing her like this truly infuriated her to be honest. But he had a point. Shooting someone to death because he had the fucking nerve to ask loudly if she was so moody because of her period wasn't maybe the best way to deal with things.

She simply nodded, indirectly answering Carmine and brushed past Oswald without seeing him. Yeah, she should have punch the goon's face to a pulp and answer him something like "since I started my day in a puddle of blood, I wanted to share the fabulous experience with someone. What do you think?"

Definitely better. Anyway, she was no necromancer. Dude was dead. Just another tally to add to her 'Murder week festival'. She would send a bouquet of pads to his widow or something, she would just have to tell the staff to sponge the guy's blood with it first.

As soon as the heavy oak door slammed, Cobblepot couldn't help but cough to try to gain Falcone's attention. "Are you sure sending her away tic-tacking like this isn't going to backfire, Don Falcone?"

His question earned a long silence from the king of Gotham, then a glance. One which froze Penguin on the spot. He should have shut his trap.

"You've got a point here", acknowledged Falcone in a low voice. "Go after her, be sure she doesn't cause too many mischief. Call me if anything goes south."

Penguin had to dig really deep inside of him to maintain a decent face and not scream bloody murder in the middle of the room. Monitoring Y/N was usually difficult. But now? In her state? And after hearing all the stories Carmine's goons fed each other with during their free time?! It will be suicidal.

The little man lowered his head in defeat and limped in direction of the door Y/N slammed a few minutes ago. Once outside, he swore seeing that the woman was still as swift as usual and already disappeared from the estate.

"Where did that tart went?!" He spat, rushing to climb inside of his car, yelling at the driver to go in the middle of the city and to open his eyes to help him find the assassin.

Did she use Victor's credit card to raid an entire clothing store? Absolutely. Was it petty? Sure. Did it help her to feel better? Not really. But the idea of her husband experiencing a mini seizure at the view of the bill definitely did.

She felt her phone buzz inside of her pocket for maybe the fifth time of the day, Footloose accompanying the buzz. She let out an irritated "ugh" while throwing her head back. Fucking Cobblepot. Didn't he get the hint when she refused to answer the previous 49 times?

She decided to cross the road in direction to the Narrows. Here, she was sure, he would let her be, too disgusted to even put his posh shoes on the dirty pavement. The idea made her move quicker, her eyes locked on the other side of the road, but something coming fast on her right brutally caught her full attention.

"HOLY FUCK!" She roared, her profanity hidden by the loud honking of the police car on her side, its wheels still fuming after the harsh stop it had to make.

Behind the windshield, Jim Gordon was looking at her with wide eyes. For a second, the two seemed frozen in spot. The next, the loud sound of Y/N's bags hitting the floor and the clicking of the security of her guns convinced Gordon to move. And fast.

He threw himself out of his vehicle, dodging a bullet, and using its door as a shield while grabbing his gun to also aim at the woman.

"Y/N?! What the hell are you doing here!" He yelled. "And why in hell didn't you look before crossing the freaking road?!" He added.

The snarl he saw on her painted lips indicated him that she wasn't in the best mood to take his scolding. He gulped.

"What are YOU doing here Gordon?! And why the fuck are you driving like you were a cop on a mission you fucking moron?!" She yelled too, her guns still pointing at him.

He scoffed. The nerve! "Well maybe because I am! I was planning to rush on a crime scene, but you being here and menacing me with your guns cleary changed my plans. Put the guns down, Y/N, and come with me. "

Now her left eye was twitching, a sign that she was losing patience with him. "Oh fucking fuck, Jim. Are we really doing this? Dude, just go to your freaking crime scene and let me be, today isn't a good day to mess with me, trust me."

She was about to say something else but another car screeched on the other side of the woman. A black one, from where emerged a furious Oswald, screeching like an angry bird. "You! You freaking tart! I called you at least a hundred times! Where were you?! Do you think I enjoy babysitting your dramatic self?! Because the answer is a bloody NOOOOOO!" He roared with an accusating finger pointing at her.

"Oswald?" Called Jim's surprised voice. "What are you doing here? Why are you with her?"

Cobblepot sighed deeply, letting his furious hands massaging his temples to try to ease the terrible headache this situation has been giving him. He brutally stopped, though, lifting himself and now facing the two with a bright crooked smile.

"Jim! Hello my friend!" He saluted like the previous seconds didn't exist. "I'm so happy the providence put you in our way!" He cheered.

Gordon made a face hearing him, looking at Y/N just to be sure he wasn't dreaming the turn of events. She just shrugged in response. "What do you want Oswald?" the young cop groaned.

"Remember your owe me a favor my dear friend?" Answered Penguin, still beaming like the sun in front of them. His statement made Jim groan again and roll his eyes. "I didn't forget, but today isn't the best for collecting debts, I need to go, but first, I need to make Y/N come with me."

Now it was the woman's turn to scoff loudly. Like the main idea of arresting her was just ridiculous. She didn't saw Oswald's smile getting wider in her back. But she heard the click of a gun and felt a jolt of pain in her neck. "Well, fortunately, your plan and mine are the same Jim. We need to keep Y/N locked for now, and for the best", sang Cobblepot.

She turned brutally in his direction, her eyes feral. "You fucking piece of shit! You called Victor and he told you for the tranquilizer gun!" Y/N yelled, turning the barrel of the gun in her left hand on him but loosing her focus as she pulled the trigger.

She fell on the ground as she heard Oswald howls and insults. "YA BLOODY HARLOT! YOU SHOT ME! SHE WAS READY TO KILL ME!"

"Calm down Oswald, she shot your leg, not your head" Jim distorted voice joined the yells.

"P-PARDON?! SHE WOULD HAVE SHOT MY HEAD IF IT WASN'T FOR THE TRANQUILIZER! JIM!"

After that last scream, all went black.

The sound of phones rings, the shouts of men and women and the dusty smell welcomed her. Y/N frowned and opened her eyes, only to grumble some muffled insults as she immediately close them. The crude lights weren't helping her terrible headache.

She lifted her hand to cover her eyes while slowly sitting on her bench. "Welcome back, sleeping beast. Sensible eyes uh? Poor thing " Mocked a voice she would have prefer to not hear so close to her.

"A shame, I missed. But fortunately, you're breathing so loud I still can kill you in the dark." She muttered, smiling when she recognized the sound of gritting teeth. When she finally felt well enough to open her eyes, she saw Oswald sitting on the other side of her cell with a murderous aura and a bandaged leg.

She couldn't help but giggle at the sigh. "Jimbo arrested you too I can see, that may be what people called karma". Now he was snarling like an angry dog, only holding back the middle finger because of his good education she was sure. How funny.

She lazily stretched, looking around until she saw Jim sat behind his desk, ending a visibly tensed call. "Hey Jim!" She called, winning his attention and a loud sigh.

While the man approached her cell, she also spotted Harvey following him. "Hi Harvey, not already drunk?" She taunted with a sadistic grin.

"Hi luv, 'm still working on it", answered the older man lazily, shaking a flask she suspected was filled with some whiskey.

The assassin snorted before looking back at Jim. "Well? What now Jimbo? Gonna do a stripsearch?" Her shit eating grin made him groan in annoyance. "If your husband and you would be so kind and stop telling the same jokes, I will be very grateful"

It was like she wasn't in a dusty cell at all, talking with them like their were neighbors and putting her arms on the bars like she would do on the frame of her window. "And you would be so kind to open the doors and let me out. You can keep the bird, though, this one will be better in a cage" She jested, grinning wider when Oswald indignant cry resonated.

Jim jawbone tensed, a sign he didn't find her last sentence funny. To be honest, the whole situation was making him quite mad. Because he knew she would find a way to get out. How, he wasn't too sure. At least not with the help of a rocket launcher this time.

"I'm not opening your cell, Y/N", he stated firmly. Her smile didn't even fade. She just tilted her head like a predator contemplating how it was going to jump on its pray. He hated it.

"Fine", she finally purred. "May I have one glass of water at least? I'm quite thirsty after that traitorous shot in my back".

Again his jaw clenched. He had enough. Enough of this day. Enough of the rogues. Enough of the stupid smile this irritating woman always wears when they cross paths.

"No." A simple, deafening no. Suddenly, the whole place seemed to grow silent. In front of him, he saw her freeze. "Excuse you?" She tried.

"I said no. Y/N. You're going to sit here and wait to be questioned, like any other damn criminal in this police station." He answered.

It happened so suddenly he didn't even have the time to see it coming. First it was a hiccup. Then another. Then her reddening eyes becoming glassy. And finally tears rolling on her cheeks. What was happening?

"Oh no", he heard Harvey gasp behind him.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Now he saw with a shocked face Penguin bolting out of the bench, limping to her and turning her crying face in front of him. "Oh my god! Oh no! Everything but this! Don Falcone is gonna shoot us all!" He started to panic. "Are you so poorly educated to refuse a glass of water to a prisoner Jim?! I mean seriously?!" He screeched while guiding the woman on the bench he was previously sitting on.

"What's wrong with her?" Asked Jim incredulously.

"What's wrong with you?! Being so insensitive with a woman fighting with her hormones, I can't believe I was considering you a good person!" Oswald shouted.

"How was I supposed to know uh?!" He shouted too. "And what with your behavior, didn't she shoot you an hour ago?!"

"Because of her hormones you imbecile! You took all her belongings, you've seen the box of tamp-... Of womanly stuff she carried with her! If it wasn't a clue, I don't know what it was then!" Yelled the little dark haired man.

Her cries were unstoppable. Nothing Penguin tried worked, none of Harvey gentle coos made her stop. In fact, it was getting worse.

"DO SOMETHING JIM!" Pressed Oswald. "Like what?!" Snapped the young cop.

Oswald scoffed like he was outraged. "I dUnNo CALL VICTOR MAYBE IMBECILE!" Demanded Penguin.

"Not like I have his number" Jim grumbled, he couldn't believe what was happening. "Gimme your freaking phone!" snarled Oswald, grabbing Harvey's who just shrugged when Jim sent him a glare and typing the number of their only hope.

Nothing. "He isn't answering." muttered Cobblepot, while awkwardly padding Y/N's back.

"Of course he isn't, what criminal in his right state of mind would answer a call from the GCPD Penguin?" Groaned Harvey, earning another glare to add to his collection of the day.

Oswald cursed under his breath and took a deep inspiration before he yelled so loud everybody in the room would be able to hear. "WHAT KIND OF LAME CRIMINALS ARE YOU?! CAN'T YOU SEE WE ARE FACING A CRISIS HERE?! CALL VICTOR ZSASZ NOW OR DON FALCON WILL PERSONALLY DEAL WITH ANY OF YOU SCUMS WHO LET HER BEST WOMAN CRY HELPLESSLY!"

Like a whip, his voice made all the criminals jolt in fear and Gordon had to open a wide mouth when he saw everyone in the cells taking out - from what seems like a magical pocket - a phone and starting to call or text the infamous hitman. Did confiscated phones meant nothing to rogues in town nowadays?!

He turned in Harvey's direction just in time to see him opening a plastic bag where he how so carefully put Y/N's items an hour ago. "What the hell are you doing?" He breathed.

His co-worker frowned and took the woman's phone, giving him to a very pale Oswald pleading her to unlock it. "Trying to make it stop. Trust my years of experience with her, nothing will stop her. The only soul in town able to deal with her in this state is an obsessive bald homicidal maniac." Bullock said.

"Christ it's just tears!" Tried to rationalize Jim while pointing at her like an idiot. "She'll stop, eventually!" The harsh glare he earned from the whole room made him question Gotham's general sense of sanity again. It was surrealistic. Truly.

---------- 1 New Message --------

Bullock

Red alert. Your wife is in tears at GCPD. Come asap!!

---------- End of message --------

----------- 1 New Message ---------

Unknown

Mister Zsasz, sorry to contact you but your wife is crying right now. Please help us.

...

Please don't kill me. I'm just a honest criminal who happened to be here.

------------ End of Message -------

---------- 1 New Message -------

Riddler

What is charming 3 weeks per month and a whole crying mess on the 4th?

...

Just the day I wanted to attack the GCPD, I only let it pass because of the exceptional circumstances.

...

Do something. The whole city is in alert right now!

---------- End of message ----------

-------- 1 New Message ---------

Kean

Heard you let your wife crying at the GCPD.

...

Told her she could have done so much better. You're the worst husband material.

--- Blocked and added to "killing list" ---

---------- 1 New Message --------

Mrs Sweetness Zsasz

It's Oswald. How dare you ignore my calls?!

...

Come fetch your wife, she cried so much I fear she'll not have any water left in her body!

...

And buy chocolate! A lot! Mother said it helps during those times.

---------- End of message --------

"Oh dear me. What happened here?" He asked to no one, scrolling on his phone and reading message after message. He knew it was the worst idea of the decade to let Carmine and the others deal with Y/N during this time of the month. He wasn't suspecting he would find the city near bursting in fire when he would come back.

He didn't even have to threaten the cops at the entry of the GCPD. For the first time of his life, the cops on the outside stairs looked relieved to see him. Alvarez, who was smoking among them even let out a "thanks god" which made him chuckle.

When he went inside, he didn't even have to search for her. All the cops where around her cell, the criminals behind bars where glued to them in her direction and tried to cheer her lamely. It was something to witness frankly.

He walked lazily, letting the cops who spotted him take a couple of steps back with the same disturbing relief painted on their tired faces.

When he reached the cell, he slowly blinked, taking the whole picture: his wife was crying like a river, her head between her hands, on her right was Cobblepot, padding her back and cooing, promising her husband was going to deal with everything. At her feet, he could see at least 30 full glasses of water, untouched. And outside the cell, a disheveled and very pale Jim Gordon was being scolded like a 5yo by an angry Bullock.

"Ah! Thanks Satan! You finally here!" Shouted the older cop once he saw him. Zsasz shrugged and made a face then pointed at the woman with his finger. "Why is she crying?"

Harvey sighed loudly. "Long story short, because of a glass of water..."

"THAT HE REFUSED HER!" Yelled Oswald angrily while pointing at Jim who groaned.

Zsasz blinked again then let out a tired sigh. "Open the cell." He demanded with a smooth but firm tone. Harvey immediately grabbed the keys from Jim's belt, ignoring his protests and opened it, sending a "Don't you dare do anything else mate" glance at his co-worker.

Victor went inside and crouched until his face was at the same height as hers. "Gonna take you home Sweetness", he muttered before he raised and helped her standing, hugging her shoulders and guiding her out of the cell.

"WAIT!" Shouted Jim when they started to walk in direction of the door.

"Just a minute" said Zsasz as he grabbed Oswald's arm to put it where his was. Now that Penguin was helping her to stand, the hitman turned around and walked on Jim slowly.

Nobody had the time to see him rising his left arm. But everyone heard the hard punch striking Gordon so hard on the face he fell on the floor, his nose now bleeding like a fountain.

"Don't make my wife cry ever again, Jim. It makes me angry." He muttered with a deadly calm face then turned around again to take back his previous place, scrounching just enough to put a hand behind Y/N's knees and lifting her princess style, taking his leave with a shocked Oswald.

Everyone was now looking at Jim, still on the floor and holding his broken nose. "Be happy he was worried about his wife or you'd be dead Jim. I told you many times: don't mess with Y/N, she's Zsasz trump card." Chastised Harvey as he pushed a box of tissues in his blood stained hands.

"Is she going to be her irritating self soon?" Asked Cobblepot uneasily from his back seat inside of Zsasz's black car.

The bald man threw his wife a glance and sighed. "I know I wasn't here Sweetness, but it was the boss' orders." Her lack of answer made him sigh louder. "Wasn't it a little bit extreme?" He asked in a dull tone.

Oswald opened his mouth to remind him he wasn't here and didn't see how she lost her composure but was cut by Y/N's also dull tone.

"Are you going to leave again? To finish the task?"

Zsasz let out a snort. "After the scene you made? Don't think I'll go anywhere. Plus I already finished my business outside of Gotham. And Carmine called on my way back, he heard about what happened and demanded me to stay glued to you until the week ends."

She also let out a snort, a very amused one a that, which made Oswald jolt in his seat, the surprise painting his whole face.

"Never thought it would work so well", she mused.

Ok now he was collecting his jaw from the floor. "It was an act?! You were pretending and let me made a fool of myself?!" Yelled Cobblepot, earning a tired glance from Y/N.

"Not at first. I really was crying." She said." But seeing how the events turned, I saw an opportunity to get out of our cell, make Victor come back faster AND stay with Carmine's benediction", she confessed with a shit eating grin.

Oswald scoffed, that tart was so good at acting he was really pitying her and tried to be as sensitive and gentle as he could be. "You're the worst!" He shouted angrily, only earning a laugh from her and a resigned sigh from Zsasz. But he saw how the man's lips were twitching. He was clearly enjoying his wife's new scheme.

"You both are the worst" He grumbled while crossing his arms in front of him and pouting like a little child.

A/N - I hope you loved it! 🥰

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