#actually in truth i had visualized this in my head before writing it but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

icallhimjoey · 1 year

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Hand in marriage right now- THAT WAS AMAZING! Honestly I loved it so much, making me go giggle and kicking my feet ugh 😭, do you think there will be a possibility that there will be a part 2?

Love your works so much <3

ok so i obviously left a lot of room there for more, SO FINE here's another part (and if you want more, you're gonna have to let me know because i think i might be able to pull 5 parts out of this if i tried really hard) enjoy! (also pls know that i still feel weird writing wesley) (i have only ever seen pics of him) (thats all) (rewritten 19 nov 2023) Wordcount: 2.2K

Inevitable Sparks

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Oh, how the tables had turned.

Where before Wesley was always made to shut up about you, now it was Wesley who had to tell Joe that not everything he'd tell him involved or surrounded you.

"I'm actually not feeling great, I think the sushi I had last night was–" "Did you go for sushi with her?" Joe interrupted. "No..." Wesley narrowed his eyes at Joe. "I went with my dad." "Oh... yea, of course. Do you happen to know– like, does she like sushi?"

Wesley rolled his eyes at his friend who apparently, when it came to you, operated like he was in primary school still.

From a very specific angle, it was cute.

From all the other ways to look at it, it was mostly annoying and frankly a little pathetic, Wesley thought.

You and Joe had only met the one time at your flat, and you'd talked for a little while before you'd mingled with your other friends and had left Joe to join Wesley on the balcony from where he could just stare at you through the window.

You had seen Joe stare. You'd definitely noticed. But you'd also done your very best to pretend you hadn't been aware of it at all.

And Wesley had, to his dismay, seen all of it from up close and concluded that you were both terrible at this.

"I don't know, man. Ask her yourself." Wesley said, hoping to not become the middle man for the two of you, but entirely aware that, he probably already was.

"I would, if you gave me her number..." Joe tried, eyebrows high up on his face, giving his friend questioning eyes.

Wesley laughed, sat up and tried to imitate his friend's face as best he could. "Can you pass her this note to see if she like likes me?"

It was a dig at Joe, but it made him laugh heartily anyway.

"She's taking me to an exhibition tomorrow," Wesley then revealed. "You could book yourself a ticket and tag along, if you want," he shrugged, knowing you wouldn't mind it.

You'd more than not mind it, actually. Wesley was getting this bullshit from both sides.

"No, come on," Joe waved a hand at Wesley, frowning. "I wouldn't want to intrud– what time you guys heading over?" Joe cut in on himself as he'd whipped his phone out to check his schedule, making Wesley shake his head at him.

Joe was an idiot.

Meeting Wesley outside Kensington High Street station, he had let you know he was bringing a surprise, and you'd expected maybe a crunchie bar, or a hot cup of coffee.

You choked on your own spit when you saw him emerge from the station with Joe by his side.

"Joe loves the Design Museum," Wesley said when in your earshot, obviously sarcastic, but all three of you were smiling.

You were all entirely too aware of the situation at hand, but none of you called a spade a spade and just let the truth float in the air in between you.

"Yea? You into ASMR, Joe?" you asked, challenging him slightly.

Joe blinked his eyes and searched for the right words, the noises coming from his mouth a stumbling mess of various vowels.

Obviously, he had no idea what he was in for.

"We'll see, won't we?" Joe eventually replied, and you saw Wesley behind him with a furrowed brow and one corner of his mouth pulled out, shaking his head, and it made you giggle.

And Wesley had been right.

Joe hated every second of the Weird Sensation Feels Good exhibition; an immersive experience where you got to both experience and create ASMR-type visuals and audios.

You lived for this kind of stuff, and had paid for Wesley's ticket after being unable to talk him into tagging along without you getting it for him.

When you'd entered, you'd distanced yourself a little from the boys and wandered from padded space to padded space, soaking up information, learning about how brains worked, what triggers there were and eventually, you sat down at a table that held microphones, headphones and an array of brushes to use.

When you sat down and placed the clunky headphones over your ears, you saw Wesley and Joe wander in.

Wesley immediately gravitated towards an installation of hanging bags holding different substances to squish and grab, all of them meant to be satisfying.

Joe, on the other hand, saw the chair opposite you was empty, and made his way over to sit down.

"Hi," you said softly, smiling, unaware of the volume of your voice since you weren't able to hear yourself.

Joe just smiled and reached for the other pair of headphones to put on.

In front of you were two microphones, and you used a finger to tap at one. You heard nothing, but saw Joe flinch at the sound and it made you chuckle softly.

As playful payback, Joe did the same to the other, tapping it harder than you did, making you laugh louder as the noise of it consumed everything.

You were the first to take a brush, and you swiped it over your own microphone first before moving it to brush at his. Joe ducked his head into his shoulders at the sound and frowned deeply; his whole body cringed and he was quick to push your hand away from his mic.

"Is that meant to relax me?" Joe's angered confusion made you laugh.

You gave it another try, enjoying how strongly Joe reacted to it.

"That's infuriating," he concluded, but took hold of a brush himself, giving it another try at his own microphone, looking at it with disgust painting his features.

"Hate that. Hate it, hate it."

Joe had to take the headphones off.

You were well aware you were in a museum that was meant to solely relax people, but there were giggles stuck in your throat that you couldn't keep in. A blush creeping up your neck towards the apples of your cheeks that you couldn't stop.

Then Joe moved to your microphone, and you were immediately triggered.

Triggered the nice way.

The noise of the soft bristles against the mic sent tingles from your scalp, all the way down your spine, and for some reason, they ended at the backs of your thighs.

Fuck.

That was nice.

Too nice.

It was relaxing, but it was awkward, because this was Joe's doing and he was looking at you, intrigued at the effect it had.

"Is that working?" you could see the smile tugging at his cheeks, and you gave an embarrassed nod.

"Is it actually?" Joe's open-mouthed smile grew.

It was far too intimate a moment for the two of you to be having, Joe holding power over bodily responses you had like that in a public setting with Wesley in the room?

Not okay.

You looked over at Wesley who was then stood at a different headphone station and found him practically drooling as he was listening to something with his eyes closed.

"I think Wesley's too into this," you said as you removed your headphones and pointed, making Joe turn in his seat and suppress a laugh.

"That's... that's not right. Entirely inappropriate. Wesley, mate! Get a room, just for yourself,"

You noticed how every single thing Joe said made you blush and giggle, and you silently scolded yourself for it.

Get yourself together, woman.

You weren't 12 and not everything Joe said was funny.

Be an adult.

A grown up.

Behave.

You were lucky, because Joe hadn't even noticed in the slightest that your ears were glowing.

Oh, he'd noticed the giggles, but he had also been out to get them from you, so it didn't feel overdone.

He also didn't have time to think about what you were thinking, because every time he got close enough to talk to you, his mind ran at a million miles per hour to figure out how to work your phone number into the conversation.

What subtle comment or question could fall from his lips that would have you reach over for his phone to put your number in?

Add to that the fact that this museum held a lot of headphone-wearing and not a lot of room chitchat.

So instead, he settled for enjoying the view of you, for now.

A little while later, you had outstretched yourself on a grey fuzzy art piece that was meant to look like the inside of a brain next to Wesley, both in headphones, looking at a screen.

You were relaxed.

This exhibition was definitely living up to the name of it; it was all weird sensations, and it all felt good.

From across the room, Joe looked at the two of you, and he stared long enough for Wesley to eventually feel his friend's eyes on him.

Wesley furrowed his brow at Joe when they made eye contact, and a silent nonverbal conversation ensued.

He gave his chin a tiny nod upwards, asking Joe what he wanted from him. Joe copied his friend's frown, and nodded his head to the side, meaning for Wesley to move away from you. To make space for Joe.

Wesley looked at you for a second, and you seemed completely enthralled by what you were experiencing.

He decided that Joe wasn't allowed to disturb you.

You hadn't taken Wesley to this exhibition just so Joe could flirt with you, and in that moment, he felt protective over you the way he'd feel protective over a younger sister.

Wesley looked back at Joe and gave his head a tiny shake. It made Joe drop his head and groan in defeat.

Maybe you could go for a coffee after.

Or if he was lucky, a pint or two.

Joe could maybe get your phone number then.

Except he didn't, because the more he thought about it, the more he let his nerves grow until they formed a giant mountain Joe couldn't compete against.

Even when two people got up in a packed tube and you and Joe were quick to snag the seats, Joe still didn't muster up enough courage to casually ask for it.

And so when you had to part ways because you had to change for another line to make your way home, it was a quick simple 'see you later' for Joe, and the quickest of quick hugs for Wesley before you stepped off the train.

Wesley plopped down next to Joe and slapped him hard on the knee.

"Great job mate, glad you got her number," Wesley joked as Joe looked out the window behind him, giving you a small wave as the tube took off and he got a last glimpse of you walking down the platform.

"Just– could you please just give it to me?" Joe pleaded as he turned back to his friend, making Wesley laugh loudly.

"Absolutely not. I've introduced the two of you to each other. I've done my part."

However, what Wesley hadn't anticipated, is that you also needed Wesley's help.

The second you had service on your phone, you couldn't help but text him.

"saw you take a pic of us, i need it", quickly followed by, "for scientific purposes obvs".

The second Wesley had service on his phone, he read your message but waited until he was away from Joe to reply.

Wesley had, in fact, snuck a picture of you sat together on the tube. It was slightly blurry, and you'd both been looking up to check the tube map across from you - unnecessarily so, you both knew where you were going and where you needed to get off.

When Wesley sent the pic, you followed it up with, "give me his number", and Wesley let out the loudest most annoyed sigh he could pull from his lungs.

You were both useless.

He took a minute to think it over. He'd been so adamant he wasn't going to give Joe your number that it almost felt wrong to just hand you his. At the same time, he'd had enough of Joe's pestering and didn't need your harassment added into the mix. So, he thought of something to put all three of you out of misery.

You were zooming in on the blurry photo of you and Joe on the tube, thinking what a terrible photographer Wesley was, but how good the two of you looked together, when suddenly you got a notification.

You'd been added to a group chat called "two halfwits make a whole" and, curiously, the image of it was the one you'd just been staring at.

"What the..."

You opened the group chat and were met with an empty chat screen, Wesley's name and an unknown number at the top.

Joe.

Then a message from Wesley popped up.

"Here you go, idiots"

Followed swiftly by the notice, "Wesley left".

-----

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#requested #part 2 #inevitable sparks #joe quinn #joseph quinn #joe quinn x reader #joseph quinn x reader #joe quinn fluff #joseph quinn fluff #fanfiction #joe quinn fanfic #joseph quinn fanfiction

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chaotic-on-main · 9 months

Text

Chapter 8: June - Part 4 [NSFW]

☾ Pairings �� Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff. SPEAKING OF...

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’ You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you.

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

“You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☆ Taglist ➼ @averysmolbear @humanitys-strongest-bamf @youre-ackermine @spaghettiyarns @notgoodforlife @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @romantichomicide95 @janey-stempy @sckerman @secretmoneybearvoid @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @kingkonoha @nube55 @missyasma

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☾ Previous Chapter: June Part 3

☾ Next Chapter: June Part 5 [Final]

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loveroftoomanyfandoms · 10 months

Text

Angel of God, My Guardian Dear Chapter 14: Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+, MINORS DNI)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Story Summary: While speaking at a local school for visually impaired youth, Matt runs into his childhood best friend, with whom he lost touch almost 20 years prior.

Warnings/Tags: Bit of innuendo but nothing really for this chapter.

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Matt was upset with me for a while because he felt like I was neglecting him for Michael Kinsella, but luckily he's forgiven me so I have the next 4 chapters already written!

Hope you all enjoy this new chapter and what's coming soon!

Y/N took a deep breath as she stood outside of Clinton Church. She was meeting with Sister Maggie and was actually more nervous than she had been during her first visit with Matt a month ago.

While she knew that Sister Bernadette had single-handedly orchestrated her and Matt's forced separation, she had no idea if Sister Maggie eventually knew about it or if she had spent the past 20 years thinking that Y/N had never bothered to write to Matt. Well, I'll never find out by just standing out here.

She walked up the steps and headed down the sidewalk to the small activity center where Sister Maggie had asked to meet, then took another deep breath before going inside.

Sister Maggie smiled as she spotted Y/N. "Y/N, hi."

Y/N walked over to her. "Hi, Sister Maggie."

Sister Maggie gave Y/N a warm hug. "How are you?"

Y/N couldn't help but smile despite her nervousness. "I'm good. Really good."

Sister Maggie smiled. "I'm glad to hear that. Have a seat and I'll get you some coffee."

"Thanks." Y/N sat at a nearby table. "Sorry I took so long to come visit. Between work stuff and trying to spend as much time with Matt as possible things have been pretty busy."

Sister Maggie nodded. "That's quite alright, my dear."

She began to fiddle with the coffee machine. "So how is Matthew? I don't get to speak to him very often."

Y/N studied Sister Maggie. While Matt definitely did favor his father -- Y/N hadn't been kidding when she had told him that the Murdock genes were strong -- if Y/N looked closely enough, she could see traces of Matt's mother in him too. "He's fine. We actually just got back from visiting my aunt in Florida a couple of days ago."

"Oh, that sounds lovely. Did you have a nice trip?"

"Yeah, it was my aunt's birthday weekend so we all went out for dinner with a bunch of her friends on Saturday, then Matt and I went to the beach after Mass on Sunday while my aunt hosted her pokeno group." Y/N's face heated as she thought about what had occurred after their trip to Islamorada.

"Well that's good." Sister Maggie set a cup of coffee next to Y/N along with some cream and sugar. "You know, I have to admit that I was surprised when Matthew told me that he hadn't spoken to you since you had left St. Agnes."

Y/N winced. Getting straight to the point, I see. "I tried to keep in contact with Matt after I moved -- I wrote to him for over a year, but Sister Bernadette keep returning my letters before Matt could get them and she had also made sure that my aunt wouldn't allow us to visit each other by convincing her that Matt's and my relationship was… well, less platonic than it actually was back then and that we should be separated quote-unquote 'before he ruined my life'. By the time I found out the truth it was too late -- Matt had already left for college and I had no way of trying to reach him since I didn't know where he had gone."

She huffed out a breath. "Matt was -- no, is -- the best thing to ever happen to me and I would never have broken his heart like that on purpose."

Sister Maggie nodded. "I know you wouldn't. So, I take it your aunt approves of the relationship now, then?"

Y/N nodded with a smile. "Oh, yeah, Matt said that they talked things out on Monday before we left and that Aunt Ruth apologized to him for believing Sister Bernadette and misjudging him because of it."

Sister Maggie shook her head. "Had I known what Sister Bernadette was plotting I would have spoken to your aunt myself and set the record straight."

She gave Y/N's hand a squeeze. "I could tell from the moment you walked up to Matthew that first day that you two would share something truly special."

Y/N let out a light laugh. "Had me pegged as your possible future daughter-in-law from the beginning, huh?"

Sister Maggie nodded with a small smile. "You have always been like a daughter to me, Y/N, even before you met Matthew, but the moment you took Matthew's hand and said that you would be his friend I knew that you would wind up being someone very important in his life."

She stood. "Actually, I have something to show you. Just a moment."

Y/N waited as Sister Maggie left then returned a few minutes later with a book in her hands.

Sister Maggie handed it to her. "I thought you might like to have this."

Y/N gasped softly as she opened it. It wasn't a book -- it was a photo album full of pictures of herself and Matt over the years they had spent together, from candid photos of them playing and reading together to posed photos of them and the other children who lived at St. Agnes.

She lovingly caressed a picture of her and Matt as teenagers. They were outside in the courtyard at St. Agnes, Y/N's head tilted down towards whatever book they had been reading at the time while Matt's attention was focused on her, a look of absolute adoration on his face. "I never knew he looked at me like that back then."

Sister Maggie gave her a soft smile. "Matthew was so focused on you that I don't think he even knew I was there."

Y/N sighed. "I missed him so much, Sister Maggie. I tried to move on after I realized that I'd probably never see him again, but I never really could, I -- it's always been him. He's it for me."

Sister Maggie shook her head with a soft smile. "Matthew said the same thing about you -- that you were not only his best friend but also his one true love, and no matter how hard he had tried to move on after you left, no one else compared."

Y/N sniffled, her eyes tearing up as the pain of losing Matt for so long hit her all over. "I had asked God for him, you know, a few days before he came to St. Agnes. I prayed and asked God to send me a friend, but I didn't ask for just any friend -- I wanted a best friend, someone He had made just for me, unlike anyone else I had ever met."

Sister Maggie's smile grew wider. "And then Matthew showed up."

Y/N nodded. "I knew immediately that he was the answer to my prayers."

Sister Maggie huffed out a light laugh. "Then it seems like God answered both of our prayers. After Matthew's father died and it was decided that he would come live at St. Agnes, I prayed that he would find solace during his time of grief, solace that I knew I had no right to try to give him. I was so grateful when you offered to be his friend, because I knew then that he would always have someone who would be there for him."

She took Y/N's hand once again. "Thank you for loving my son. "

Y/N nodded. "I do. Very much so."

"And he loves you too." Sister Maggie gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I want you to know that when the time comes I will be honored to have you as my daughter-in-law."

Y/N leaned over and gave Sister Maggie a hug. "Thank you."

Two hours later, Y/N left Clinton Church well-caffeinated and with a happy smile on her face.

Sister Maggie sat back and cleared her throat. "Okay, now, tell me more about what life in Florida was like…"

She and Sister Maggie had talked and reminisced over several cups of coffee, laughing about some of the antics Y/N and Matt had gotten up to as children and confiding in each other about their worry for Matt while he was out Daredeviling at night.

Y/N was about to order an Uber to take her home when her phone rang.

She grinned at the caller ID and answered it. "Hey, Matty."

"Hi, angel," Matt's smooth voice sounded over the line. "Are you in the neighborhood?"

Y/N huffed out a light laugh as she glanced back at Clinton Church. "Actually, yeah, I'm just leaving from a visit with Sister Maggie. How did you know?"

Matt was quiet for a moment. "I'm at my, uh, my 'other' job and thought I picked up your heartbeat."

Y/N's heart fluttered. "Oh, okay. Yeah, I decided to drop by for a visit after work today and stayed a lot longer than I originally expected."

Matt hummed. "I was thinking about making one more round then calling it an early night if you wanted to come over?"

Y/N grinned. "I'd love to."

"Okay, great. There's a spare key under the mat, so you can just let yourself in and make yourself comfortable. I shouldn't be too long after you."

"Okay. See you soon."

"Love you."

Y/N grinned. "Love you too."

She hung up and headed towards Matt's apartment, letting herself in with the spare key.

She hung the key on the key rack next to the door before putting her purse away, then went to Matt's refrigerator.

She had just poured herself a glass of wine and was putting the bottle back when she heard the door to the roof open and Matt's footsteps descend the stairs. "Matty, sweetheart, do you want something to--"

Her mouth went dry as she turned around. "--Drink."

Seeing photos and video footage of Matt in his Daredevil suit was nothing compared to seeing him wearing it in person. Holy shit.

She swallowed. "Uh--"

Matt's head tilted slightly, a small smirk appearing on his face. "Hello, angel," he said in a low, gravelly voice.

Y/N sucked in a breath. If that's what he looks and sounds like while intimidating criminals every night, I might consider turning to a life of crime. "Hnng--"

Matt slowly stalked towards her, his smirk growing wider. "Like what you see?"

"Mm--" Y/N cleared her throat. "Mmhmm."

She reached out to touch Matt's suit as he stopped in front of her, her fingertips brushing across the material. "I uh, I just realized I've never actually seen you in this."

Matt took his helmet off and set it on the kitchen island, then wrapped his arms around her with a grin. "Well if I had known that I'd get this kind of reaction out of you I'd have worn it around you sooner."

Y/N huffed out a laugh then brushed some stray hair from Matt's face. "Well if I'd have known you'd be even hotter in it in person than in the photos and video I've seen, I'd have asked you to wear it around me sooner."

She leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. "I'm sure you want to change into something more comfortable though."

Matt nodded. "Yeah, I'm gonna go take a quick shower if you don't mind."

"'Kay. Hungry? I can make us something to eat."

Matt gave Y/N another kiss. "Actually how about takeout tonight? More cuddle time."

Y/N huffed out a light laugh. "Sounds good to me. What are you in the mood for?"

Matt grinned. "Well, if you have to ask…"

Y/N playfully rolled her eyes. "To eat, Matthew."

Matt's grin grew wider. "Yes???"

Y/N swatted his arm. "I mean food!"

Matt chuckled. "How about sushi from that place you love so much? Our usual order plus whatever else you might be in the mood for is fine with me."

Y/N nodded and pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Okay, yeah, that sounds good."

"My wallet is in the island drawer, just grab my bank card out of it to pay for dinner."

"Okay." Y/N watched as Matt picked up his helmet and headed towards his bedroom.

She let out a whistle. "Be sure to thank whoever made your suit for me, Matty, because your ass looks fantastic in it."

Matt chuckled. "I'll be sure to let them know."

Y/N quickly placed their order for dinner while Matt went to go shower before grabbing her glass of wine and heading towards Matt's living room. "Dinner's gonna be about 20 minutes," she called out.

"Okay," Matt called back from the shower. "I'll be out in a bit."

Y/N sat on Matt's sofa and pulled her phone out again.

She glanced towards the bathroom before pulling up Google. Apartments for rent or sale, Hell's Kitchen, NY, she typed.

She pulled up the first search result. She'd have to discuss a budget with Matt, of course, but she wanted to see what sort of apartments were available and how much something like what they were looking for would cost.

Her salary as an experienced librarian wasn't terrible and she knew Matt at least made enough money to keep the firm afloat and to be able to afford to eat, so she figured that between the two of them they should've at least been able to afford rent on a big enough place to raise a couple of kids.

She was scrolling through possible listings when Matt came out of his bathroom, clad in the gray sweatpants that would be the death of Y/N and a black t-shirt.

He sat next to Y/N on the couch, rubbing his wet hair with a towel. "Whatcha doing?"

Y/N set her phone down on the coffee table. "Looking at real estate listings."

"Mmm." Matt wrapped an arm around her. "Find anything?"

Y/N shook her head as she cuddled against him. "Just getting a feel for what's out there and how much we'd be looking at in rent."

Matt was quiet for a moment. "What do you think about buying a place instead of renting? I mean, we are looking for a forever home, right?"

Y/N shrugged. "I'm not opposed to buying a place at all if we can afford it. We can come up with a budget and a list of wants and must-haves then go from there."

Matt nodded. "How about this weekend? You can come over Friday night and we can spend Saturday working on all that and start looking for places that fit our criteria."

He took a deep breath and pulled a small, plain square box out of his pocket. "And maybe you can use this to let yourself in."

Y/N took the box and opened it to reveal a shiny new key attached to a keychain in the shape of an angel.

She looked up at Matt, a smile spreading over her face. "Matty…"

Matt shyly smiled back at her. "I thought you'd like to have your own key to my apartment."

Y/N threw her arms around Matt in a hug, then gave him a kiss. "I love you, you know that?"

Matt grinned. "I love you too, angel."

Y/N examined the keychain. "This keychain is beautiful, by the way."

Matt smiled. "I got the clerk at the hardware store to help me pick it out while I was getting your key made. They had a couple of different ones, but that one felt the best."

Y/N nodded. "I love it. I'll get a key for my place made for you tomorrow after work, okay?"

Matt shook his head, a slightly guilty look crossing his face. "You don't have to give me a key to your apartment just because I--"

Y/N grabbed his hand. "Hey… Hey no, I want to. I know we spend more time here than at my place since it's bigger and more accessible for you, but I love you and I want you to have equal access to my apartment as well."

Matt nodded and gave her hand a squeeze. "Okay then. Thank you."

Y/N leaned up for a kiss. "So is this a hint that you want me to come over more frequently or is it more of an 'in case of emergency' key?"

Matt bit his lip. "Both? I mean, yeah, it's good for you to have a key in case of an emergency, but I definitely wouldn't mind coming home to find you waiting for me here in my apartment more often."

Y/N hummed. "Would that also mean I'd get to see you in your Daredevil suit again?"

Matt shrugged with a grin. "Well, you could if you'd be here when I got back from patrol at night…"

"Mmm, really?"

Matt nodded, his voice pitching lower but not quite down to the tone he had used earlier. "Mmhmm. And depending on how late it is and if you're still up, you could help me take my suit off?"

Y/N licked her lips, liking where the conversation was going. "Oh, is it difficult to… get off?"

Matt smirked. "Well there's a zipper that's tricky, sometimes you have to… jerk it."

Y/N bit her lip. "Maybe you could also give me a demonstration of your Daredevil voice?"

A deep rumble sounded from Matt's chest. "Oh, I was already planning on it, sweetness. Especially since I can tell how much it turns you on."

He leaned up to murmur into her ear. "You wanna be my good girl tonight, do what the Devil tells you to do?"

Y/N sucked in a breath, her face flaming. "Uh huh."

"That's my angel." Matt kissed her just below her ear before leaning back, a smirk on his face. "Dinner's here, but maybe we can continue this conversation later?"

Y/N almost said 'fuck dinner' so she could drag Matt off to his bedroom right then, but instead she nodded. "Mmhmm."

She just hoped Matt ate fast tonight.

#lotmf writes #AoG Masterlist #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x yn

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spicerackofblorbos · 3 months

Text

Chapter 8: June - Part Four [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

‘Can we talk?’ You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

So much for trying.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

‘What about you?’

‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

“I love you too.”

☾ Previous Chapter: June - Part 3 ☾ Next Chapter: June - Part 5 [Final]

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scienceoftheidiot · 10 months

Note

Prompts? Snippets? Love while ao3 is down? Maybe some badass Ed after he lost his alchemy? Something self-indulgent?

Aaahh thank you !

So I don't write much Ed BUT I was actually planning to have exactly that (Ed being badass after he lost his alchemy) in a Royai fic. Except the fic is in two parts, and this would be the second part, and first part is not posted yet because not finished yet xD

Soooo I guess this counts as a snipper even if I wrote it just now (thanks!)

Spoiler warning for an upcoming fic of mine, I guess, I'll add more context under the cut, I'm sorry about this, I still hope you like this and Ed is badass enough 😁

So the fic is an AU where Roy stays blind after Promised Day, the stone doesn't work/Truth refuses to heal him. He's thus dismissed from the army, but is asked for his help (new powerful alchemy !) by Scar and Miles. Roy being Roy he jumps on the occasion (doesn't work that well of course but that's another story).

Anyway, second part, Roy asks for Ed's help : Ed knows alchemy, even if he can't practice it anymore, it'll be far easier for him to take soil samples and do reconnaissance alone, Ed is restless in Resembool and Roy doesn't want to show himself too much in Ishval. Except to actually use alchemy he needs to be there.

So here they are :

"Fuck, why did I agree to this."

"Change the record, Fullmetal. You've said this over fifty times since we boarded the train."

"Wouldn't have had to suffer the train if you'd let me drive."

"My car, my rules. Only one person gets to drive it, and it's not you. Now, where --"

"Well at least it's not you either."

"Thanks for that, Fullmetal. Where is --"

"Stop calling me that. That's my state alchemist name. No alchemy, no alchemist name. And above all, I am not a dog of the military anymore, Colonel."

"Well, me neither, so you can ditch the Colonel. Where's the damned field, Edward?"

"You're walking on it, Mustang."

"Ah."

Roy sighed and shook his head, then crouched, placing his hand on the ground. The dirt was dry, flaky. Not sandy -- that was a bit of improvement, at least -- but it did feel barren.

"How does it look?"

"Like nothing. Just dirt and stones, all the way until the cliff. It's half collapsed, by the way. Doesn't look like anything has ever grown on there."

Roy got up and brushed his pants.

"Registers say it was an orange tree orchard, before the war."

Finally, Fullmetal -- Edward, call him Edward -- fell silent.

For a short while.

"You're sure? There's not even a tree trunk."

"If you can read a map, then yeah. I guess the last bits were scavenged as firewood by survivors. Or else it was burnt to ashes."

"Did you --"

"I don't know. It's possible. I have been to these parts. But I've burnt a lot of places, and the name didn't ring a bell. Can't use visual cues to trigger my memory, so I can't tell you."

Ed stayed silent, until he growled.

"I don't understand how you can speak so lightly of this."

Roy shrugged.

"Thought you'd be used to that, after all this time. Now, shall we get to work, or ...?"

"Fine." Silence fell again for a little while, and Roy could have thought Ed was pouting, if he didn't hear him rummage through his things.

"So, about the samples I had collected during my last trip here. Your notes say the dirt lacks a great deal of accessible nitrogen and phosphorus to be able to grow anything. By the way, I'm glad you're using Hawkeye for this. Reading your chicken scratch has always been a struggle."

"Says the right handed boy who wrote his reports with his left. This was the fastest way. And you know her last name is not Hawkeye anymore, don't you?"

"I'm never calling her that. She's too good for it."

Roy scoffed.

"Gotta tell her that. Okay," he frowned. "What was in there, then?"

"Silica. Ammonia. Wait, doesn't ammonia contain --"

"You didn't read the notes before we came here, did you? It's about the availability. Most plants can't do anything with ammonia. Usually you'd try and plant specific ones who will make it into a useful nitrogen compound, using fungal symbiosis. But we don't have time for that, it'll take years. And those need a lot of good irrigation, which we don't have."

"You become a botanist, lately?"

"I've had a lot of free time. And my wife has the most beautiful reading voice."

Roy heard Ed choke on a groan, and smirked.

Ed ranted again : "You're the all powerful alchemist, now. Why not pull humidity straight from the air and water it this way?

"I'll do it to kickstart it, but this is not feasible long term. You want me to stay here and play sprinkler all summer? I hope you are bulletproof. Riza would never --"

As if on cue, something that was definitely a gunshot rang, and Roy was violently pushed to the ground. Roy coughed in the dirt, trying to push himself back up, only for Ed to crush him back down as new shots fired.

"Don't move, moron, we're being shot at, from up front. The cliff."

Fullmetal was half laying on him, his left leg crushing Roy's right. Damn was that automail heavy.

Adrenalin kicking in -- he realized he was getting back to his old self, panic being only a buzz at the back of his mind -- Roy thought fast. He was supposed to protect them both. He was the one who could. He wriggled to free his arms, clapped, and slammed his hands to the ground, hiding them behind a wall he hoped would be thick enough to stop bullets. And set in the right direction.

Gunfire kept raining against it.

"Can you see them?"

Roy was free of Edward's weight, and he heard him shuffle, close.

"Ishvalans. Seems like there's only two of them, and they look like kids."

"Yeah, I bet. They're wasting ammunition like crazy, there. Tell me. Where are they, precisely?"

"You're not using alchemy against them."

"Oh, sure, watch me."

"No killing on my watch."

"I never kill if I can avoid it. Not anymore."

"You're a blind flamethrower. I wouldn't bet on that. Don't move." Edward shouted "HEY! Hey, guys!"

He was answered by a new burst of gunfire.

"Fullmetal!" Roy frantically felt around until he caught Ed's trouser leg. "Stay put --"

"Let go of me! HEY GUYS!"

"For fuck's sake, Ed --"

"Shut! Up!" Edward walked away from him. "Guys, maybe you don't want to annoy us too much. See, my friend, here --"

"He's the flame alchemist!"

"He's killed our family, and now we're going to kill him! Give him to us and we'll let you go."

Roy's insides twisted. The voices sounded very young indeed. He was opening his mouth to answer, anything, when Ed kicked him in the ribs.

He was lucky he used his right foot. Ouch.

Fullmetal was right. Maybe it wasn't his time to speak.

"Haven't you heard your elders --"

"Fuck the elders. If they want to mingle with the enemy, fine for them. Death awaits the collaborators as well as the perpetrators."

"Kids, we --"

"We're not kids! Not anymore! We want his head, now!"

"You've heard of the Flame Alchemist, kids, alright. You even know what he looks like. You know who I am?"

"We don't care. Give him to us, now."

Ed's foot nudged Roy.

"When I hit you next," Edward spoke from between his teeth, "you clap and make me a weapon. Scary one. I just want to freak them out."

"Right," Roy got his hands ready, frenetically thinking about what he could pull from the ground that could make a good weapon, that would also be scary. Wait, if it needed to be scary, then he wouldn't need it to be a good weapon, right?

"Ever heard of the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

The kids didn't answer immediately.

"Prove it!"

Ed shoved his foot into Roy's ribs again, and Roy clapped, hearing the kid clap just a split second later. Time for the static to subdue, Ed's feet sounded against the dry soil, two steps. There was a high pitched sound as he picked the weapon Roy had thought to make.

"Wanna fight?"

"We have guns."

Their voice was less assured, now. Edward was walking, probably towards them.

"You think I can't deflect them with my all powerful alchemy? Look at this! I could probably slaughter you from here. You don't want to see how good I am."

Ah, Fullmetal knew how to brag, alright.

He seemingly kept walking, until a scurry of running feet sounded, running away from them.

"We'll come back when you're alone, Flame Alchemist. We'll catch you, tie you up and burn you!"

"It's all you deserve!"

The shouted threats were drawing away.

"Go help rebuilding, kids! Killing him won't solve anything!" Edward yelled at them.

Roy couldn't help but smile. Ed, too, was still a kid. A good one.

Silence fell again. Roy stayed put until Edward dragged his feet back next to him -- his left leg adding a characteristic sound he had learnt to notice.

"Obsidian? A fucking obsidian sword? You had nothing else?"

Ed grabbed Roy's hand and unceremoniously pulled him back on his feet.

The kid had strength.

"I wasn't working with much. What do you want me to do with silica --"

"Fuck, Colonel, you need to think outside the box. I could have pulled so much --"

"You're insane. If Riza learns about this --"

"I saved your fucking life, she will hear about it, believe me."

"Oh, and remind me who made the weapon?"

"It'd have broke as soon as I tried to slice anything with it! Come on!"

"You wanted to scare them. A black blade --"

"Whatever would have scared them." Ed's voice dropped. "They were barely fourteen. Not an age to hold guns."

"Rich, coming from you, Fullmetal," Roy said, his expression, he hoped, betraying his words.

"I never used guns," Edward snickered.

If you've read until here thank you ! Feel free to send me prompts while AO3 is down 🥲

#prompt #writing #fma #edward elric #roy mustang #sassydefendorflower #fanfic

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monstersinthecosmos · 1 year

Note

News that may interest you: asexual podcast duo The Ace Couple just released part 1 (of 2) of their AMC IWTV breakdown! I really like these podcasters’ style of media discussion in general—it’s detailed and analytic but also consistently funny and conversational—and I highly recommend this episode. Still just as excited for your written overview of asexuality in VC, whenever that happens :)

Oh wow, this is so cool! Thank you for sharing!

I listened to the episode and it really was a great critique of ways the show erased the asexuality, and I think it was also a really nice overview of the allosexual attitude I see in fandom a lot. Oddly enough, coming from a more casual/mainstream perspective and not like a DEEP FANDOM NERD IN THE TUMBLR TRENCHES perspective ahaha. Like they brought up reviews from gay men about how good the changes were and it kinda brushed upon some of the bullshit I’ve had to navigate by discussing this topic on Tumblr for years.

Something I think they summed up really well was the concept that the show changed the vampires from “broadly queer” to “explicitly gay” and that really nails it on the head I think.

At some point I do want to write some more posts about this, especially if I can reread the books this year I want to take time to like share and discuss some of the passages that are explicitly ace to me and build my case for the ace read. I’m guilty of bringing it up when it gets framed as an argument against acephobia and I apologize!!!!!!! We deserve to talk about this without having to disclaim that we deserve to be here or having to use it as a counter argument to acephobic garbage. Unfortunately, fandom has a great track record for leaving me ignorant comments or sending anons every time the topic comes up so I feel like I’m always defending it and not just enjoying it and giving it its own space. Sorry!!!!!!!

So to do that some more LMAO. (Sorry!)

I’ve said before like, I really do understand that the mainstream maybe needs the visual clues to understand the romance, but personally one of my huge complaints about the show is that there wasn’t actually a whole lot of intimacy and romance between them. Like, we see them fuck, but there’s barely any warmth between them. I went the whole season not really understanding what Louis saw in him. And I was confused what the show was trying to say, because while I understand that we can also see this as “Louis is not being truthful about their relationship” (aided by the one cute moment being Claudia’s POV and not from Louis himself), Daniel’s remark that Louis was describing Lestat as his soulmate really threw me. Like, I wasn’t getting that from the story they were showing us at all.

So like, could they have shown romance and intimacy without sex? Of course. They chose not to. I appreciate and understand that it’s a win to show gay sex on mainstream TV, but I personally found it underwhelming as a choice for this particular story/series. The main thesis here is ROMANCE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SEX. YOU CAN SHOW ROMANCE IN WAYS THAT ARE NOT SEX.

I don’t buy the pushback about asexuality somehow sanitizing the romance; in fact, that’s a fucking ignorant thing to say. I’ve had more than one person try to level me with this argument and I’m just not buying it. And as much as I think the mainstream is like centuries away from understand/accepting asexuality, it’s such a fucking problem even within the queer community.

✨Asexuals are queer. The characters are not less queer if they are asexual.✨

This talking point always tells me that someone either doesn’t believe aces belong in the queer community, or it tells me that the person just has an extremely fundamental misunderstanding of what asexuality is and isn’t.

But it’s the same way the heteros read IWTV and didn’t realize it was queer; I often think that allos in fandom do the same by missing the ace read.

And like, I’ve said this 100 times. It’s murky enough that I don’t think it’s worth arguing to death; I understand there is a bit of wiggle room. But that also means that shutting DOWN ace reads is ignorant as hell and frankly it’s pretty fuckin rude.

Something the podcast brought up that I don’t think I’ve given enough credit to is the idea that like Anne Rice’s writing is so SENSUOUS like, we can all agree that her vampires get turned and suddenly EVERYTHING is so heightened, like, they wanna touch velvet and cry at music and stare at buttons. DON’T WE THINK THEY’D BE CRAZY ABOUT SEX TOO? IF THEY WERE ALLO?????????? Hmm. Especially coming from an erotica writer like if she wanted them to fuck they would've fucked. (((Insert side essay about guilt/pleasure/Catholicism/etc don't @ me I don't got time today)))

Dgkjas sigh anyway

I’d really like to talk soon about the symbolism of drinking blood equating to sex and how because it’s not literal, IT IS NOT LITERAL. And how that’s no different from ace people finding ways around intimacy that are also not literally sex. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately haha but again I don’t want to like, waste another ace post by wrapping it in discourse. We can have those conversations without having to defend our existence LOL. PUT A PIN IN THIS, REMIND ME TO BRING IT UP AT A LATER DATE AWAY FROM THE HATERS.

#asexual vc #vampire chronicles #vampire pajama party on amc

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weirdkpopgirl · 2 years

Text

Insecurities | Dream Reaction #2 (hyung-line)

Reaction: When their gf is insecure about their body (hyung-line)

Genre: Angst, slight fluff

Warnings: Mentions of low self-esteem, mental health subjects

Word Count: 11,182

Requested: Yes

Author’s Note: This was requested by another lovely anon! I actually debated on covering this topic for a headcanon before. So I’m glad I got the chance to do it now. As I was writing these, I realized that there was no way I could post them all at once because they were kinda long. The topic of body image issues can vary depending on the person. So I tried my best to make these a little vague, so everyone could relate. And just a personal message to readers who struggle with insecurities, I know how it feels to not be comfortable in your own skin, and you are surely not alone.

I will post the link to the maknae line one when I’m done! Until then please bear with me. Thank you for reading ^-^

~ ~ ~

MARK

You met Mark in high school when he first came to Korea. He was the cute transfer student from Canada that was a little clueless the first few weeks. But the two of you immediately hit it off. After only a few months of knowing each other, Mark asked you to be his girlfriend. There was one thing that had sparked an interest in each other in the first place. It was your shared dreams of becoming kpop idols.

While Mark was a trainee, you never gained the courage to audition yourself. He was surprised when you told him this, and since then kept encouraging you to audition for SM. Each time you rejected and Mark couldn’t understand why. He had listened to you sing countless times and there was no way (in his mind) that any company could reject your talent.

He finally got you to say yes when he requested you go to one audition as his birthday wish. But you started to freak out the second you did. Ever since you were young, you didn’t have much confidence in yourself. The truth about why you never auditioned was that you were very self-conscious about your body. In your eyes, you could never compare to those girl groups with outstanding visuals. No matter how much you loved singing, you didn’t think your skills could ever match up. It was better to not try at all rather than to go through a humiliating rejection, was your mindset.

But you didn’t want to let Mark down, not when he had put in all this effort to get you to audition in the first place. He even helped you pick out a song and helped you practice it. Despite the countless times that he told you there was nothing to worry about, you thought he just said those things to be nice.

Before you could blink the morning of the audition day arrived, and that’s how you found yourself in one of the practice rooms with your boyfriend. The audition was in an hour and you were already panicking.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” You muttered to yourself, pacing back and forth.

Mark stood up from his seat to approach you, “Hey, yes you can. I’ve seen you practice so hard for this (Y/n)-ah. You should give yourself more credit.”

“That’s not it,” You shook your head and backed away from him. “I mean do you really think that the judges would let someone like me become an idol?”

Realization dawned on Mark. “Is that what this is about?”

At this point, every part of your body was trembling. You ran your fingers through your hair, practically pulling a few strands out.

“I…I know it’s stupid.”

“(Y/n)-” He tried to calm you down with words, but it wasn’t working.

As you returned to pacing back and forth in the room, Mark snapped you out of it when he pulled your arms into a firm grip and pinned you onto a desk. Immediately flustered by his actions you looked at your boyfriend with confusion.

“Mark, what are you-”

You were silenced by Mark’s lips crashing onto yours. Your eyes widened as he tightened his hands around your waist. When you gathered the courage to close your eyes and let your lips mold together in a perfect kiss, you felt all your worries go away.

After waiting a moment to catch your breaths, Mark would look at you with a shy smile and brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’re perfect the way you are, (Y/n)-ah. And if our company can’t see that, then they don’t deserve someone as amazing as you.”

Mark’s words that day were what helped you to feel a lot better about yourself. In fact, that day you aced your audition just as Mark said you would. You knew it was going to be an easy road from here on. But with Mark by your side, and if you just held on tighter, you had a feeling you would be okay.

✎____________________________________________________________

RENJUN

The two of you were sitting on the couch. Renjun glanced up from his phone and smiled down at you beside him who was scrolling through Pinterest. He loved the way your eyes lit up when you found something you liked and saved it. Though you had tried to hide it out of embarrassment, he eventually found out that you had made a whole Pinterest board dedicated to him.

Hating to disrupt you, he would slightly nudge you with his shoulder. “(Y/n).”

“Yes?” You peered up from your phone. He’d stand up and glance down at the clock on his phone.

“Let’s go out to eat. It’s almost dinner time.”

The brightness in your eyes faded. Sitting back on the sofa, you turned away from him.

“I’m not hungry.”

Renjun was instantly concerned. “But you didn’t eat lunch earlier. How are you not hungry?”

You debated on whether you should just lie and make up some excuse. The one you had used earlier today was that you ate a big breakfast. But the suspicion in Renjun’s expression indicated you should be truthful this time.

“I can’t eat. I’m on a diet.”

Just as you had anticipated, Renjun was not having any of it. He’d get so upset when you told him you were dieting. His tone would become serious and he’d sit back down to talk to you.

“(L/n) (Y/n) don’t you dare lose one pound.”

You exhaled a sigh, “Renjun-”

“No, I’m not having this!” He didn’t let you finish, starting to lecture you about good health and the dangers of dieting the way you were.

When he finished, Parent Renjun would disappear and your boyfriend would come back. He’d sit back down and place his hand on your knee, “Sweetheart if you keep doing this, you’re going to make yourself sick.”

“But I have to,” You stressed, “I hate the way I look and I want to change that so badly.”

Renjun paused and exhaled. “(Y/n), your body is perfect as it is. You don’t need to change yourself.”

Now that Renjun was aware of your insecurities, he would keep a watchful eye on you to make sure you weren’t skipping any more meals or overworking yourself. He knew you often neglected yourself, so he wanted to be the one to take care of you when you forgot to. You honestly don’t know what you would do without him.

✎____________________________________________________________

JENO

Jeno loved to take you on all sorts of dates in his free time. About a few months into your relationship, he took you to go to a shopping center with him. Partly because there was a place he had to go return something. But he noticed that your closet was a little limited at the moment. So he used this as an excuse to buy you something.

Everything was going fine at first. But then Jeno suggested you walk into a women's clothing store that he knew you liked. You bit down on your lip in hesitation. You always had a hard time shopping, especially if it was for yourself. But you didn’t want Jeno to suspect anything. It couldn’t be that bad, you thought to yourself. Besides going in didn’t mean you had to get anything.

However, things didn’t go exactly as planned when Jeno started to point out some clothes. He would be so considerate, looking for the style that you usually wore. There were certain colors that he thought looked particularly good on you, so he looked for things with that as well.

“Don’t you think this would look good on you?”

You turned to see a simple but cute, blue dress that he had picked out. You actually liked the dress a lot. But you were trying to stick to your original plan.

“I don’t know…” You’d respond, unsurely.

Jeno handed the clothing item to you, “You should go try it on. I think this shade of blue would look really nice on you.”

You didn’t have the heart to deny Jeno and that’s how you found yourself in one of the store’s dressing rooms. Gently flattening the skirt of the dress, you forced yourself to look into the mirror. Right away, seeing your reflection made you want to puke. You were starting to regret your previous thoughts.

“Jagiya, are you almost done?” You grimaced when you heard your boyfriend’s voice call from the other side.

“I-I’ll be out in a second,” You cleared your voice, so it wouldn’t sound unstable.

When Jeno saw you come out of the dressing room, he immediately smiled. “You look-”

Before he could finish his sentence, he saw you shake your head and rub your arm self-consciously.“I look awful, I know. This dress really doesn’t suit me at all.”

“What are you talking about?” Jeno’s face faltered.

A sigh of frustration left your mouth, “Don’t pretend you don’t know. I can’t even stand how bad I look. I don’t know how you can.”

That was crossing the line for Jeno. He’d sigh and cross his arms.

“If you didn’t already know (Y/n)-ah, I think you’re gorgeous and every time I look at you my heart pounds. How could you say you look bad when you have the body of an angel?!”

You were so surprised by Jeno’s sudden rant. Everything he said was just so…sweet and reassuring. You honestly had no idea Jeno thought about you the way he described and you were so touched. With pink cheeks and a small smile, you would go over to hug your boyfriend.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking,” You murmured.

Jeno rested his head on top of your chin, “Don’t apologize. We don’t have to get the dress if you don’t want to. But I still think it looks perfect on you.”

“You really think so?”

He’d slightly pull away and pat your head, “Of course I do, (Y/n)-ah.”

✎____________________________________________________________

HAECHAN

He never shared it out loud. But Haechan was devastated when he found out about your insecurities. There was one time when you had a leg injury and Haechan had to help you get around. He was carrying you over to the next room and commented on how “heavy” you were when doing so.

Your heart immediately sank when you heard him say that and it felt as if all your insecurities just jumped out at you. You’d get very quiet after that, while Haechan was talking. Then he would notice your lack of response in the conversation and ask what was wrong. You would bite your lip, hesitating on whether you should just act like you were fine.

But you just had to ask, “Do you…do you really think I’m hard to carry?”

Your question practically slapped him in the face. At first, he didn’t think you were serious. But the softness and apprehension in your voice were what alarmed him.

Immediately, Haechan would clarify with you that he was joking. He didn’t even think you were heavy to carry at all. It was a stupid comment and he had only said that because it was his way of complaining like he usually did.

“Are you sure? I understand if you do.” Haechan was so confused when you asked this. Did you not believe him?

That was when Haechan realized there was an actual struggle you were having with your self-image. He had no idea you were insecure about yourself to that degree and he felt so bad when you opened up to him about it.

“You are the most beautiful human being to ever exist on this planet,” He would tell you and follow with another joke. “But you really shouldn’t worry, Jagi. I’m the one with a one-pack.”

From then on, Haechan did not let you talk down about yourself. If you did he would scold you about having confidence in yourself, and emphasize the importance of self-love. He didn’t tease you about your appearance anymore and instead would give you a lot of compliments. Slowly you’d start to feel a bit better and you truly appreciated your boyfriend for being so caring.

✎____________________________________________________________

maknae line

#nct dream #nct dream reactions #nct #mark lee #renjun #lee jeno #haechan #nct dream hyung #lee donghyuck #huang renjun #kpop #nctzen #czennie

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shark-myths · 6 months

Note

hi! so i recently read your fic the house on rosewood lane and it was the one of the BEST horror stories i’ve ever read. seriously i’m still thinking about the walnut coffee and the face in the wallpaper. i was wondering if you could break down the key aspects of writing that to be maximum scary? like how u set up the plot or the characterization and stuff? thank u!

i have been sitting on this ask forever because the truth is i am a garbage writer! i love my writing, my finished product makes me very happy, but i mean when it comes to the process of writing, i am a trashanimal. i am running around with ink-stained paws and paper scraps hanging out of my possum teeth. i am incapable of plotting (@carbonbased000 can vouch as the only brave soul who has tried to co-write with me before we had to accept i am feral and impossible) which is why i usually can't carry off an intricate plot, such as a mystery; i never quite know what's going to happen or how i'm going to get there in a story. for example, it was very lucky for me that walnut pods turned out to be poisonous! i didn't know that until i was writing the last few chapters, it let me bring a lot of stray threads together. pretty reckless of me to write serially without a plan, yes?

i am a character writer; i choose characters and themes i am interested in, and then i put those characters in situations and find out what happens. so i think a lot about who my characters are going to BE and FEEL on the page, and then i discover by writing how they came to be that way. i discard a lot of my scenes, because i am just using them to learn about my characters and stories. i don't know how to edit because, again, possum with a fountain pen. i usually have a question for a story--for rosewood, my question was about salvage: what can be saved and what is the cost?

in terms of creating scariness, i have a few actual tips: 1) read horror! watching horror isn't as good, you must read it, you must work to understand which words made you feel icky and nervous, you must write to create that same vibe. discover what scares you and why, and try to mimic that until you find your own voice. 2) pick a feeling! i can't picture things in my head, so visual writing is hard for me; i have to be very intentional, and because i can't rely on describing an image in my head, i focus overly on how writing feels. (when i read comedy writing, i read and reread and reread the same sentences, trying to understand how and why the humor is created. this is an annoying way to read but an excellent way to work on your craft.) 3) read things that are very different from what you write! the more time you spend reading things that surprise you or differ from what you usually read, the more your craft will advance, because it opens up new pathways for you to create the feeling you are trying to create.

my last secret is just that i wrote rosewood about my own house. it provided me a fantastic sense of place and let me imagine what would scare the shit out of me in my own set of rooms. i think horror works best with a grounded sense of place (see: house of leaves and piranesi; stephen king, for whatever else he is and isn't, is quite good at this) and i think you can tell when the author hasn't done that--sometimes this is done to great effect, shifting sands beneath your feet, other times i find it degrades the story.

hope some of this is usable! i apologize for my lack of discipline to each and every one of you who has ever read one of my fics and noticed the threads that i dropped. for more hands-on writing advice, let me highly recommend the blood ink bone writing course by @alienfuckeronmain, for which i was honored to be a guest speaker.

#writing #the house on rosewood lane #asks #thanks anon #this was a fun one!#craft

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black-arcana · 1 year

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Epica's Simone Simons: "I've been called the metal Barbie, but I don't give a damn"

Simone Simons talks Disney covers, pastafarianism and how Epica worked out their collaborative EP The Alchemy Project.

(Image credit: Tim Tronckoe)

For 20 years, Epica have been flying the flag for bombastic, extravagant symphonic metal, with the visuals and ambition to match. Their new collaborative EP, The Alchemy Project – featuring the likes of Myrkur, Fleshgod Apocalypse and members of Soilwork and Kamelot – is possibly their most ambitious work to date.

We put your questions to singer Simone Simons on what it was like working with Uriah Heep, playing shows in Mayan ruins and that time she (almost) joined a black metal band.

Wikipedia says you joined a black metal band for a cup of coffee before you became a member of Epica. If true, what was that band like? How was your corpsepaint game? Matt Mills, Twitter

“Wikipedia is wrong! I never joined a black metal band. I was just there during a rehearsal, but never actually sang in the band. I went there to have a look, so it’s a half-truth, I guess. They were in my hometown and my friend’s boyfriend was playing in that band, so that’s why we went, but I was way too shy to sing along. Epica was my true first band.”

How did the band initially meet? Scott Thrower, Facebook

“I knew Mark [Jansen, guitars/vocals] because I was in a relationship with him back in the day. He started a new band [after leaving After Forever] pretty quickly, but because I was his girlfriend, at first I didn’t want to join. I helped them search for a singer. I thought I should do it by the book – finish high school and then go explore the world with a metal band. But when they asked me if I wanted to [sing for them], I thought, ‘OK, let’s just give it a go.’ And here we are, 20 years later!”

Was there ever an aesthetic pressure to fit into the more gothic side of symphonic metal? Jazmin L’Amy, email “Not really, I’ve always done my own thing. I’ve enjoyed the visual aspect of being in the band, getting ready for the show, designing the clothes and everything like that. I’ve been called the metal Barbie, but I don’t give a damn. It’s more like a compliment than people realise! The aesthetics are a big part of our shows, photoshoots and videoshoots that people don’t really think of, and it’s a lot of fun to do it.”

Consign To Oblivion is one of my alltime favourite records. Have you ever visited a Mayan ruin, and would you do a 20th-anniversary gig from one? Jo Cristobal, email

“I think Mark did, I didn’t. Playing a show from one is probably going to be a little bit tricky with electricity and everything, so… ha ha! Maybe just an acoustic song or something like that! But Mark’s visited some ancient Mayan sites in Mexico – he was also the one who was interested in ancient Mayan culture and wrote lyrics about it.”

What topics would you like to explore in the future when writing new music Arley Rosales, Facebook

“I don’t think too much about it. I just go with the spur of the moment: what’s happening in my life, what’s happening around the world… [2021’s] Omega was a very spiritual album, which was also a reflection of what was happening at that time. So I guess [our new music] is just going to be a continuation of that.”

Epica albums often have a central concept or overarching narrative, like [2007’s] The Divine Conspiracy. What’s the most innocuous conspiracy theory you think might actually be true? Dan Hillier, Facebook

“I’ve no idea! I’ve been off the religion train for a long time and unfortunately only had unpleasant experiences. I’m in no way anti-religion, though. The Divine Conspiracy was more about extremities within religion – the dangerous parts where they really indoctrinate people and put really weird ideas in their head.

Religion can be a beautiful thing, but a lot of bloodshed has been in its name. With that album, we picked different extremities within different religions to highlight what’s been going on and what’s still going on. But yeah, it can be very dangerous, as we’ve seen lately.”

Hammer: is there one outside of religion you like?

“The church of the spaghetti monster… what’s that called?”

Hammer: The Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

“Yeah, I love spaghetti. So I guess I’m not allowed to enter that church. Maybe I’m the spaghetti monster! Ha ha ha!"

The Skeleton Key encapsulated all that defines Epica as EPIC! What was the idea behind the song? Inn Ayyur, Twitter

“Skeleton Key was written by Rob [van der Loo, bass], and the working title of it was ‘Inception’. Rob is a huge movie soundtrack fan; I am too. He showed me the song during our writing sessions for Omega and the lyrics written by myself are basically that everybody holds the key or the answers to the questions that you have within yourself and that you can unlock different rooms and hallways within yourself. On the one hand, that can be a good thing, but it can also be bad because you also have the power to let your demons free.”

What songs from recent movie soundtracks would you play live? Mark Sayce, email

“We’ve done that in the past with [2009 live album] The Classical Conspiracy and, funnily enough, today I was singing some Disney songs. I’ve done a cover of a Disney song from The Little Mermaid [Part Of Your World, released in 2021]. Maybe something else is gonna come up, you never know!”

Where did the idea to do The Alchemy Project come from? Jac Holloway, Facebook

“The idea was from Isaac [Delahaye, guitar/backing vocals]. At the beginning of the pandemic, he had the idea of writing songs with our friends in the metal scene. We reached out to all our friends who’d be interested, and that’s literally how the ball started rolling. It’s cool when you have this idea and you don’t know if it’s gonna work, because this is a little bit outside of our comfort zone. I think a lot of people will be very surprised with some of the songs that are on this EP.”

How did you get Uriah Heep on the EP? Elliot Grimmie, email

“Epica always like to add a couple of elements of surprise. That was also part of the idea behind this EP – that we could experiment! Rob has connections to a lot of musicians that are not necessarily in the symphonic metal scene, and Wake The World was one of the songs we started working on when we first had the idea, but didn’t really push the project through.

So that song was one of the first we started with. I rewrote it to fit the vocal lines, but had the idea of what Phil [Lanzon, Uriah Heep keyboardist/co-vocalist] wanted to say in the back of my mind. It’s a really cool addition having him there.”

What was your favourite bit about working on The Alchemy Project? Paul Baptist, email

“I wrote a song with Charlotte [Wessels, ex-Delain vocalist] and I had a lot more input in the composition compared to what I normally do when writing for Epica. This time, I got to direct the song and it was really nice to work with Charlotte. She’s been putting out some great work recently since she started her Patreon and I really love her solo songs.

We started going through ideas that she’d accumulated and I picked the melodies that she had lying around for Sirens - Of Blood And Water. We worked on that for almost a year, but working together was great. I was in her studio, she was in my studio, so it was a really intense writing session for this song and I really love how it turned out.”

Who is on your bucket list to collaborate with? Lisa Aliss, Facebook

“There are a lot of artists! I really like Aurora. She’s a Norwegian singer/ songwriter who writes beautiful songs and has a really beautiful voice – I think we could be a good match. I would also like to work with Rammstein one day – that’s on the bucket list.”

Could you ever see Epica doing an arena headline tour? Emmy Willets, email

“Maybe. I went to see Iron Maiden with Within Temptation and it was amazing. I prefer doing smaller shows because the interaction with the audience is just different and it just feels more cosy and intimate than an arena. Who knows, though. Maybe someday!”

#simone simons #epica #interview

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dontwritemeoff · 2 years

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MAJOR CH 6 SPOILERS AHEAD

WREN SHOOTS TRAVELER INSTEAD W/ THE A6 CREW + VEXX

hi hi thank you to @bugfoil for the absolutely delicious ask about this scenario, it is one i’ve wanted to write! i am an absolute sucker for protective partners and also the protag that is typically seen as weak being able to show that they are in fact strong! do not underestimate a peg’asi lol (i also changed a little bit abt why they were shot instead bc i feel like all LI would put the fear of god into vexx if traveler stepped in front of him)

i also apologize for not writing aya or ryona, i just haven’t played their routes yet and couldn’t really think of how they’d react :((

TW: gunshot wounds (obv), lots of swearing, mentions of passing out/medical operations

CALDERON

You’re actually walking towards the ship, hand in hand, when the shot resounds off of the trees. Calderon whips his head around, eyes searching for where it could have come from. Where before he’d been grateful for the cover of the trees, he now curses them as the sound’s reflection off of them and their visual impairment of his surroundings makes it nearly impossible to figure out what direction danger was in.

In truth, he’s so caught up in his search that he doesn’t notice you start to lean into him, not until your full body weight is pressing into his shoulder. That’s when he sees the spot of red on the side of your abdomen start to spread.

“Fuck,” he says so quietly that it’d be out of character if anyone was paying attention to it, “[Y/N], you’re ok, you’ll be ok.”

You groan into his chest, your head turned as your face twists in pain. The grip your hand has on his is vice-like but he can’t be bothered with that. Not right now. He tries to start moving, other hand pressing onto your wound, when he looks over to see a blaster aimed right at his head.

“I wouldn’t go anywhere, if I were you,” Wren says, a disgusting look of satisfaction on their face.

As pissed as he is at Wren and the K’merii and the whole situation the crew is in, he can’t help feeling even more anger at the fact that he can do nothing for you as you bleed out in his arms.

“Wren, what the fuck are you doing?” he snarls out, tone indicating no patience.

“Now, I should be the one asking you that, shouldn’t I? What exactly do you think you and your band of merry men are doing here?”

In his peripheral vision, Calderon sees the rest of the crew being led towards his location at gunpoint, similar to him. He’s in a position where he can’t protect who he cares about again, and all the fear that fuels his aggressive disposition feels like it’s about to boil over. His mouth remains shut, not willing to answer to the monster who dared to hurt you, just after he’d managed to save you.

Cal watches as the butt of Wren’s rifle comes whipping toward him and shuts his eyes in order to minimize the impact, but the pain never comes. Instead he hears you cry out from his arms, pale face now dripping with blood from a cut on your forehead.

“Answer me, commander.” Wren looks on with the bored face of someone in power.

Cal realizes that Wren knows that it’s much more effective for bargaining if they use your life and safety rather than his. And he hates that. Whether it’s the fact that he’s allowed himself to be in this position in the first place, with someone the enemy knows he cares deeply, or just the fact that all he can bring to those he loves is danger.

“I’m just trying to bring justice to the people of the system, not like you’d understand,” he growls out.

“I wouldn’t speak so flippantly with your precious Peg’asi at my mercy,” Wren sneers, watching in twisted glee as any remainder of bravado is wiped from Calderon’s face.

How did they know that? He thought the crew had done a good enough job of keeping your identity from slipping, and besides he didn’t think that Zovack was looking for you anyways. Right?

“You didn’t think Zovack would deploy his best just for your measly ass, did you?” They look around at the rest of the crew, watching in horror as you struggle to hold onto consciousness as their ironclad commander was crumbling.

“You lot really do look pathetic, might as well finish this pity party up and start moving,” they motion for their subordinates to pull you to your feet and start ushering the rest of the crew away from the ship when the whir of small ships descended on the forest.

The first to jump from a craft, not even waiting for the vessel to complete its landing, is Zane, blaster already drawn, pointed directly at Wren.

“No, I don’t think so,” he says, smirking towards the crew until he notices your state, a small bit of concern entering his features. He trusted the rest of the crew to pull through whatever shit the K’merii put them through, but you weren’t used to this, and he knew you had become someone important in the fight for making a better life in the system. Inclining his head in a way that was just subtle enough for Calderon to break from his stupor, the captain takes the hint and hoists you up, arm that wasn’t gripping your side wrapping around his neck.

When he takes off running towards the ship, hoping that the crew was in tow and especially Ryona, Wren shouts something but he doesn’t pay any heed to what they could be saying. He has to get you to the med bay, your feet not following his quick pace anymore and beginning to drag as you barely clung to consciousness.

When he’s finally able to rest you in the inspection chair in Ryona’s office, you’re fully out, despite his hand resting on your face and desperate whispers for you to hold on. He couldn’t have opened his heart again for you to leave so soon.

You first wake to a aching pain in your abdomen, as evidently your IV was running low on pain suppressants. The lights are dim in the med bay, Ryona’s mister emitting a nice neutral scent, and a weight in your hand. Carefully turning your neck, which in turn causes a flaring pain to spread throughout your forehead, you see Calderon sitting in a chair next to your bed, hand resting in his as he leans back in a fitful sleep.

His cheeks are every so slightly ruddy, displaying to you that he had cried not so long ago. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him do that. Your thumb brushes the calloused skin on the back of his hand and he stirs at the movement, no doubt on high alert even when asleep.

“[Y/N], you’re awake,” he says, voice rough.

You smile at him, tears brimming in your own eyes, “I’m awake.”

Tentatively, hand shaking in a way you don’t think you’ve seen him do either, he cups your cheek, wiping away a stray tear that escaped.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, I promise I won’t leave you,” you say, guilt flooding you. You know that he didn’t want to allow you on this mission at all, and after having to save you from the sinkhole, he had to watch you nearly bleed out in front of him. You couldn’t dare put him through that after it was so hard for him to open up to you in the first place.

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for. I should have never put you in danger, if I could have protected you better-”

You cut him off from his guilt laden ramblings, “Cal, there’s no way to keep all harm from me all the time. Not even in the royal palace is anyone completely safe.”

His eyebrows furrow, but he still smiles at you.

“Within the walls of my ship will be safer than any palace in the system.”

DAMON

One second you’re laughing at some stupid innuendo he’d said, for the express purpose of seeing you smile again, and the next you’re hunched over, clutching your gut.

What the fuck just happened?

As you double over, you reach out and grab onto the hem of his sweater, his hands hovering over your form. His thoughts are scrambling, telling him that of course this would happen, he only brings pain to those he’s near, he should never have-

“Courting royalty, are we Reznor?” Wren sidles up to where you’re groaning, kicking up dust with Damon kneeling nearby, “That’s a bit above your station.”

“What the fuck have you done?” Damon asks, not even bothering to acknowledge their jab, you’re worth more than his pride.

“Well, my mission brought me here to bring our old red friend over here back where he belongs, but it seems I’ve stumbled onto something much more precious.”

Fuck. He knew they shouldn’t have brought Vexx with them on Cursa, but there really wasn’t much time for debate. Now the only person he felt he might be able to really be vulnerable with was coughing blood onto the dirt and patchy weeds.

Strategy soon takes over his brain, assessing that he could most likely take Wren out and get you back to the ship in time, a plan of action formulating as he sees more K’merii exiting from the ship with the rest of the crew held at gunpoint. Damn it, that makes things much more complicated.

“Think you’re going somewhere? I’m sure Zovack wouldn’t mind if you came back with us, he might even let you keep your pet Peg’asi if you ask nice enough,” Wren laughs at themselves, evidently thinking that your paling and sweaty face was hilarious.

“When hell freezes over,” Damon spits, pulling you closer to him, hands that only know violence trying to convey comfort to your shaking form.

Wren looks like they’re getting tired of the spectacle, their gun tapping at their side in a display of absolutely horrendous trigger discipline. As the bring their hands to lift it once more, footsteps crunch the dying grass behind them, the face of a man Damon never thought he would be relieved to see coming into focus.

“Don’t worry, it’ll stay well above freezing,” Zane says, gun aimed directly at Wren’s head.

Their eyebrows furrow as they turn to face him and Damon wastes no time, scooping you up in his arms and rushing inside, passing by his friends engaged in newfound fights with their K’merii assailants. He just hopes he can keep you alive long enough for Ryona to actually treat you.

Your grip on his arm weakens and tightens as you fade in and out of lucidity, muttering apologies at Damon.

“Stop apologizing, dumbass, you didn’t do anything wrong,” his voice shakes.

While harsher than most would comfort those they love, you smile weakly at him, knowing that means he cares. Your lips are lined with red, and not in a way that he would prefer. He sets you onto the examination bench with a gentleness you didn’t know he possessed, retaining your grip on him even as he tries to pry away the shirt the clung to your skin.

“Damon,” you manage to get out, but your voice is strained, “Thank you.”

He doesn’t sleep the entire 8 hours you’re asleep, mind replaying your “thank you.” He doesn’t understand what he’s done to deserve your trust and adoration. He doesn’t really understand what he’s done to deserve anything good that he has in his life.

He’s so wrapped up in these thoughts, arms crossed as he sits in a chair next to your bed, that he doesn’t immediately notice when you begin to stir. It takes your arm that’s hooked to the IV drip coming to rest on his knee for him to realize you were with him again.

“Damon,” you smile.

“How can you be smiling right now? You nearly died twice today and I could barely protect you,” he can’t seem to meet your eyes, and you think you might be mistaken when his eyes shimmer with unshed tears.

“But you still did. You did protect me, you saved me twice today. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

He laughs wetly, and buries his head in the blanket that covers your legs, hands balling up into fists.

“I haven’t been scared in years, but with you I’m fucking terrified. You gave me something I’d never been given before: love.”

Your hand comes to rest on the back of his head, patting it softly.

“And I promise I will forever. You’re stuck with me now.”

JUNE

This poor man had just gone through the emotional turmoil of a lifetime on the mission, finally getting a moment of rest and comfort when you embrace in the woods, when a shot rings out.

His blood runs cold, literally, when he feels your hand tighten around his, a gasp emitting from you.

He’s been poked and prodded his whole life, no surface of his body untouched, but he feels like his hand burns when it’s your only lifeline to remain standing. He’d just promised you that you two would figure out your feelings for each other together, mutual trust and adoration shining through, and now he can only hope you’ll see the next day.

The bullet hit you just beneath your ribs on your left side and at first you don’t feel anything, just shock. But then a pain unlike any other you’d felt blooms from the entrance wound, spreading throughout your body like a virus.

“June,” is all you can say, not knowing how else to process the moment but to call out to the person you trusted most.

“No no no no, you’re alright, it’s alright, keep breathing through it,” he whispers into your hair as he holds you tight to begin moving you to the ship, knowing that despite the danger that was still out there from whoever shot you, he needed to protect you more.

He backs into the barrel of a gun and slowly turns around, Wren’s cold stare reflecting in his own.

“I don’t believe it’s typical to let your prey get away after you’ve shot them,” they say in a way that indicates to him that they consider you nothing more than the objective of a mission, a trophy and nothing more.

He’d been holding back the rage that simmers just below the surface, eyes remaining their cool gray, until your life and your importance to him and the rest of the crew was disregarded as if they were all petulant children.

June’s shoulders fill out his shirt in a way that hadn’t seconds prior, vest becoming tight on his chest. His mind is racing with the debate between setting you down and dishing out the consequences of speaking about you like that, and just running straight back to the ship to get you help as soon as possible. He is not given a choice, though, as the rest of the crew is rounded up by K’merii and brought to Wren.

“Our little experiment here doesn’t feel very chatty today,” Wren starts, eyes scanning the rest of the crew, “Any of you have any grand heroic gestures to show your loyalty to this Peg’asi scum?”

“I care more about my loyalty to my friend,” Bash spits out, bionic arm itching to crush the hand that holds his wrists together.’

“Oh please, you don’t really think that this sheltered little brat actually cares about any of you?”

At that June is completely transformed, veins pumping with Orionite. Despite this, his hold on you remains as gentle as ever, but it requires a focus that is quickly dwindling.

His eyebrows furrow and he bares his teeth in a way that he hates in it’s animalistic sense, but is the only way he knows how to convey that he is about to rip Wren to shreds. He can only take one step before Wren’s rifle is shot out of their hands, other Azure Dawn members ambushing the K’merii that were holding the rest of the crew.

“No need to waste your energy on Wren,” Zane says, provoking them knowing that it’ll create enough of a diversion for June and the rest of the crew to make a break for the ship.

And he wastes no time, effortlessly lifting you into his arms, and moving as fast as his legs will take him, which is pretty damn fast. You’re still holding onto consciousness, but are fading fast. As his footsteps boom through the the hallways of the ship, he begs you to hold on.

“[Y/N], you can do this, it’s ok, I’m here with you, stay with me.”

“I know, June,” you rasp out, blood covering your teeth, “You know I care about you.”

A sob catches in his throat as your eyes close, his fist all but slamming into the button to open the med bay door, “I know.”

You awake to the sound of crying. It’s quiet, muffled behind strong hands, but it’s the first thing you hear. After that, you begin to process the hum of Ryona’s mister, and your bleary eyes blink away the fog.

“Oh, June,” you say, hand reaching towards him as the other pushes against the bed to try and prop yourself up.

“No, no, [Y/N], stay laying down, shh, there you go,” he responds as he helps you lay back comfortably.

“But, I made you cry,” you frown, hand still reaching out in search of his.

And he takes your hand, the scars on his standing out to him. Nobody had ever cared what they did to him, much less if he cried about it. And he was so fucking grateful that you were still with him.

“You could make me cry a thousand more times if it meant that you stayed with me.”

VEXX

How you reacted to the gunshot before him, Vexx will never know. All he knows is that one moment you’re walking next to him, hand in hand, and the next you’re pushing him down and shielding him. In your haste to get him (and ostensibly yourself) out of the way, you lean slightly which causes the bullet that was aimed for Vexx’s stomach to hit your right shoulder.

You immediately hiss in pain, and all Vexx can do is stare wide-eyed. He’d put you in danger, actively hurt you so much before, how can you keep doing this for him? Caring for him? He thinks to himself that you should have just let him get shot, make up for some of the evil he’s done. And yet you won’t let him, protecting and cherishing him just like you’d always said you would, though before it had been in joking tones at the thought of you protecting your own bodyguard.

“[Y/N]!” Vexx shouts, pushing himself up on the palms of his hands, reaching towards your injured form that landed next to him.

“Now how interesting is this?” Wren asks as they comes into Vexx’s field of vision. “You, Serif, were who I came here to collect but it seems like I got a two for one deal. Makes my job easier.”

“You are not laying a fucking finger on them,” he says, moving to shield your wheezing form.

“This explains your....disciplinary issues. Truly sad that you had to lose the directives of your mission just for this pathetic excuse of a royal successor.”

Wren begins walking towards where you and Vexx lay, and his hand clenches as he processes all the ways he can bring Wren down. He understands that he’s definitely in the weaker position, but he was high up in Zovack’s circle for a reason, he knew what he was doing.

He just barely processes when the rest of the Andromeda 6 crew is led towards Wren via gunpoint, but notices your discomfort at your newfound friends’ danger. He honestly doesn’t give a shit what happened to the crew, but he knows that you’ve found friendship you’d never had before with them, and if they were able to get you out of here safely, he’d do whatever he could.

“Then just take me. I’m who you were sent here to get, don’t bother with the rest of them.”

“Vexx! Don’t!” You cry out, despite the pain, hand of the uninjured shoulder reaching out towards him, desperate to keep him with you. You’d just found him again, just begun to help him, you couldn’t let him leave you again now.

“Hm. Tempting offer, Serif, as I doubt fighting to get you back could be quite the headache,” Wren contemplates, lifting Vexx’s hopes that you’ll be able to get help soon, “But I think it would be much more advantageous for me to take you all back.”

Fuck. Ok, plan B. As Vexx’s mind is running a mile a minute, desperate to find the way to help you best, a warning shot rings out from the forest.

The K’merii assisting Wren instantly reach for their weapons, inadvertently releasing their grips on the crew. By the time Zane is gloating at Wren, Vexx has slung your good arm over his shoulder and making his way towards the ship, eyes frantically searching for the doctor.

Your breathing is labored in his ear, his own hands shaking at the thought of the pain you’re in. He’s already crying by the time he helps Ryona lay you on the examination table, cursing himself for his weakness to tears. He didn’t want to worry you, he was already so grateful for you accepting him back into your life at all.

“Vexx,” you say in a half delirious state as your consciousness is on the verge of fading, “Don’t leave me.”

He takes your hand, squeezing it, even as he knows you’ll be out soon.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

The voice you hear as soon as you wake up is the one you want to hear for the rest of your life. Vexx is talking in hushed tones with Ryona, asking for reassurance about your condition for seemingly not the first time if the exasperation in Ryona’s voice is any indicator.

Even as you blink the sleep out of your eyes, you’re reaching out towards the shape that color indicates is Vexx.

“Vexx, you’re here.”

He turns around so quickly you don’t fully see the movement, smile so large his eyes were almost completely closed, and walks over to kneel next to your bed.

“Of course, I’m here, [Y/N]. I told you I’d always stay by your side. And I intend to keep that promise this time.”

BASH

Growing up on Terranium, Bash had seen countless people shot before. Hell, he’d been shot his fair amount of times too. But to see you bleeding from a gunshot wound in your leg, it’s a new type of pain and panic.

It’s a moment where his usually grinning face is now frozen in shock, the reality of the moment hitting him hard. Almost instantly, he’s looking around the forest, bionic eye activated in pursuit of whoever would dare to hurt you. It’s the flash of bright white hair a few meters into the forest that tips him off to Wren’s presence. He doesn’t understand what’s happening until it’s too late, K’merii surrounding him, restraining his bionic arm.

While frustrating, he’s not bothered that much by the restraint, he knows he can break free if he needs to. It’s the fact that he just has to watch you grabbing at your leg in pain from a few feet away, desperately wanting to comfort you during pain that he knows all too well.

“Ilihaj, it’s always good to see you again,” Wren states in a way that indicates it absolutely is not good, “Our offer still stands, you know.”

“I would never join the group that has hurt so many of my friends, Zovack can rot in hell for all I care,” Bash all but yells, eye now glowing red, indicating that it’s active and angry.

“Hm, some could say harm, some could say protecting the rest of the system from. As long as I can finish this job properly. Right, [Y/N]?”

All you manage to groan out is, “Fuck off.”

Bash’s eyes water at the fact that even as you’re breathing is labored and no doubt trying not to scream, you keep your fighting spirit.

“Now that’s not very polite, prince(ess),” Wren seethes, stomping on your leg as they walk by, surveying the crew that they’d rounded up.

You yell out, prompting Bash to rip his bionic arm free from the K’merii that had been holding it, rushing towards your side.

As he gets to you, he feels something cold on the back of his neck, blood running cold as Wren presses a blade lightly against the skin.

“Sebastian!” Ryona calls out, trying hard to make sure you both get out of here alive.

Wren tuts pityingly, “That’s not your brightest idea, Ilihaj.”

“Anything’s better than letting you hurt them more.”

“How heroic. Even when it won’t help.”

“But this might,” Zane smirks, pistol already aimed at Wren, members of Azure Dawn already on the move to take out the other K’merii in the direct area.

Bash tunes out all of their banter, knowing that there’s no way he’s letting you bleed into this grass any longer.

“Can you stand?” He whispers, arms already starting to wrap around you.

“I... I don’t know. I-fuck,” you say as you try to put weight on the leg, pain shooting throughout you.

“Alright that’s a no, just hold on tight,” Bash lifts you by your armpits and slings you over his shoulder. No time to be as gentlemanly as he’d prefer.

Ryona is already hot on his tail in the ship’s halls, hands hovering around your wound in order not to hurt you more but to get a grasp on how deep the bullet had gotten.

“Sebastian, lay them down and then please leave the room,” she says as soon as they enter the med bay, pulling a tray of instruments from one of her drawers.

“Why?” He says, scowling just slightly.

“You don’t want to see this.”

Your stomach drops as you finally pass out.

When you start to regain consciousness, the first thing you hear is the scratch of a pencil on paper. When you open your eyes, you see at least 5 drawings laying on your legs that are covered by blankets. Legs, you think to yourself, they’re both still here. That was one thing you could be grateful for.

“You’re quite focused, Bash,” you tease, mouth parched. You must have been out for a while. That, and the fact you had no time to rehydrate after the mission either.

He turns his head, smiling. His hand comes to hold yours, and while cold it warms your heart.

“Just needed to document your bravery,” he says, pausing to gesture to the drawings that are already on you. They’re of you (you assume?) in action poses, with motivational sentences underneath like ‘what a badass!’ and ‘kick ass, babe!’

You smile at the gesture, but still lift your hand to rest on his cheek.

“It’s ok to be scared, I love you through it all.”

His smile remains, but the glossiness of his eyes betrays the fact that he’s beginning to cry.

“I know. I know now.”

#fun fact i couldn't decide on who to write first so i went to a wheel of names lmaoooo #*confetti noises and cheering* calderon gets to suffer first!#im also listening to the character playlists i made for each of them and i went to write june's and it was immediately blondie #boppin out while describing extreme pain #hhh i'm just glad i finished this before i move this week!#accomplishment achieved

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