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karnival2 · 1 year

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I Finally Wrote Batman Fanfiction!

Title: The Importance of a Name Summary: Bruce struggles to come to terms with something he wants. Alfred helps, as always. (AKA: Bruce wants to be officially Alfred Pennyworth's son.) Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Bruce Wayne Characters: Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth Check it out Here!

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spicy-apple-pie · 1 month

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Bruce has never woken up so fast in his entire life and he's been stabbed in his sleep before.

Commission Info / Kofi

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trashmakerarticle · 7 months

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Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

#jason todd #Bruce Wayne #dick Grayson #Damian Wayne #tim Drake #clark kent #Batman #alfred pennyworth #Bruce: he my little baby #jason: I’m 6’2 and have the ability to kill you if I wanted #Bruce: my baby my little son #jason: GOD YOURE SO EMBARRASSING DAD #jason was probably the most behaved child before he went boom boom and I stand by that #he enjoyed school #most likey hated it when he missed it #and he loves classic literature???#bros a huge nerd #yea dick is all smiles but probably gave Bruce’s near death heart attacks everytime he swung from chandeliers and rooftops #jason just wanted to live his life in the library reading his fav books and homework

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bruciemilf · 2 months

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Headcanon that Thomas Wayne was an absolute POWERHOUSE in the kitchen. That guy could make air taste like paradise. Alfred, the absolute IMPOSTER, uses his recipes to impress the bat kids.

Of course a Sicilian New Jersian who smoked 2 packs a week came up with Jason’s favorite marinara sauce and not a goddam British guy who’s favorite meal is tea and biscuits.

The batkids find a picture of tiny Bruce with a little chef hat on his dad’s arm, face full of marinara sauce, half asleep cause the kitchen’s so warm and smells like pure Nirvana

However, Bruce, like Alfred, had no idea about flavor, cause he was more than adamant about dining at Maroni’s restaurant.

Thomas: I can make you a fresh lasagne at home

Bruce: but this lasagna comes with a toy :/

Thomas, watching his disappointment of a child (Bruce is 3) eat that frozen pile of reheated shit Maroni calls food:

#baby Bruce gave his dad the gray hairs #batfamily #alfred pennyworth #damian demands he’s handed his jiddi’s recipe container. his other grandfather has cheated his trust.#bruce wayne #baby bruce wayne #thomas wayne #dc #dc comics #duc #text post

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reebmiester · 4 months

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"Baby Dick going to Bruce after a nightmare" this and "Red Hood breaking into Bruce's window when he's lonely" that WHERE is my fic about full grown 43 year old Bruce walking around in daze at 3am and finding himself in front of Alfred's room that's still in the servant quarters because Alfred never had the heart to move from the one Thomas decorated for him before he died and Bruce not remembering how he got there but waking up tucked into stiff starched sheets and a pistol under the pillow and hearing an assortment of children yelling in the kitchen about starting a search party and Alfred saying they can try but they'll never ever guess where he is

#its 3am having thots #batfam #batman #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #IS HIS DAD BTW

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shycorvid · 2 months

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AU where Bruce still goes away to train and becomes Batman, but like at an extremely young age. He ran away and gave Alfred a heart attack, and then came back from training in the LOA, with all the 14 year old teenaged angst he can muster.

One day they go to the circus because Alfred is running out of normal bonding activities that Bruce hasn't gotten them banned from yet. Except Dick’s parents die and Bruce demands they do something about it. So Alfred adopts Dick. Then Bruce brings Jason home. And Tim. And Alfred keeps getting more and more children. The relationship dynamics between them all are different because Bruce is the oldest BROTHER and has no authority over them, so when they want to fight crime too he really has no say in it.

Bruce- (15-17 years old and full of rage) Can’t you stop them, Alfred?! Alfred- Oh, so they can run away to the League of Assassins as you did? Now, go to the Batcave and teach Master Timothy how to throw a proper punch. Bruce- Ugh. This is so unfair.

#dumb little snippets #batman #the one where Alfred is the dad but Bruce is still the one with the adoption problem #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne

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therandomfandomme · 3 months

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I know it's not really canon bc Alfred is seemingly ageless, but I like the idea that he was like 30-ish when Bruce was orphaned. Like Martha Wayne was like 20 when she had Bruce and 28 when she died with Thomas being 23 at Bruce's birth and 31 at the time of the shooting, while the butler they hired was around their age too (Alfred x Martha x Thomas rights), but Bruce never realized bc Alfred goes gray early and is, again, ageless. So, he is like panicking at 21 having acquired a nine year old and he's like 34 when Damian comes in his life and by the time the batfam has settled he's nearly forty and he asks Alfred how the fuck he kept up with him before he calmed down a bit as a teen bc he had a purpose and then fucked off to go train and Alfred just goes "I was ten years younger than you're now, sir, I also don't know how you do it. Have you looked into the Batman retirement plans more?" and it's only then that Bruce learns Alfred also had not fucking clue what he was doing and was pretty young (though way more reasonable than Bruce with Dick's adoption) to have a whole ass child as a responsiblity. Just the idea that they're closer in age tickles me

#rrrambles #dc #batman #dc comics #detective comics #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #batfam headcanons #batfam #batfamily #dc headcanon #alfred pennyworth x thomas wayhe x marth wayne #martha wayne #thomas wayne #good parent bruce wayne #tired dad bruce wayne

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vivianthepigeon · 6 months

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Since Bruce was raised by a very British man he has some British quirks like calling the garbage “rubbish”, calling coats “jumpers” saying some words with a slight British accent, stuff like that

Edit: okay so apparently jumpers aren’t coats but sweaters 😂. Obviously I am not British mb💀💀

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hood-ex · 1 month

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TT constantly bringing this up is funny, actually. He wants to make absolutely sure that we all know Dick has 3 dads and not 2 dads + a grandfather.

Nightwing (Vol. 4) #113

#he's wrong though bc dick has 2 dads and 2 moms #alfred's mother's day card is proof of that #Alfred Pennyworth #Bruce Wayne #Dick Grayson #Meili Lin #tuesday spoilers

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batblobinarobe · 9 months

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Oh joy.

Batman #383

#dad is slightly tired jason #bruce wayne #jason todd #alfred pennyworth #batman #dc comics #pink robe supremacy

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jaeryale · 2 months

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Bat dad with his league of assassins murderous son

Lets hope that the bat duck tape is strong

Quick batfam doodles are my new obsession enjoy!

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kaethefangirl · 4 months

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When Cass first came she didn't talk so Dick and Tim created a blinking system for her to communicate and didn't tell anyone

Stephanie: Hey! Who's the newbie?

Cass: *blinks*

Dick and Tim: *gasps* Oh my god Cass!!

Cass: *blinks twice at Jason*

Jason: What the fuck?

Dick and Tim: *gasps louder* Holy shit!!

Cass: *winks*

Dick and Tim: *bursts out laughing*

Stephanie: What is going on!?

Jason: No fucking idea

Cass: *blinks three times*

Everyone: *stares in suspense*

Cass: ..... *blinks again*

Dick and Tim: OHHHHHHHH

Bruce, Alfred and Duke: ...

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spicy-apple-pie · 6 months

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Bruce is going full father mode lol

Index here :)

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frownyalfred · 6 months

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fics where Clark invites Bruce to Smallville for Thanksgiving/Christmas/Etc without inviting Alfred -- I'm sorry?? that's his dad?? you're gonna make him leave his dad at home???

#this is just a joke #those fics make sense obvs #but I always wonder about poor alfred #man is prob happy to get a break but still #INVITE HIS DAD YOU COWARDS #superbat #batman #superman #clark kent #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #batfamily

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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While I absolutely love the " Battinson has no idea what to do with a kid beside love it with everything in him, and Alfred sighs in Competent Guardian" trope, I offer you:

Alfred watching Bruce make sure Dick has a curfew, getting involved with school activities like bake sales and and art projects, goes to the doctor regularly, has playdates and actual social life, all Responsible Parent Things he most definitely Did Not Do:

#like im sorry?????? this man had an entire kid flung on him out of nowhere when he had little to no parent training aside from being #in survival mode #here for irresponsible/incompetent dad alfred tbh #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #dick grayson #battinson #batman #batdad #young dick #dc #dc comics #memes #lol

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reebmiester · 4 months

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"Bruce is terrible at communicating to his kids that they are family instead of a job, that he's their father and not their boss, and that he views them as his children, not just his wards-" BITCH where do you think he LEARNED that from

#40 years in and alfred still calls himself the butler #smh GRANDPA #batman #bruce wayne #hashtag thats his dad #alfred pennyworth #smh he could have been bruce pennyworth. he could have had it all #apple doesn't fall far from the emotionally repressed tree #i should sleep #i love alfred dont come at me i just want more bruce angst

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