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septic84 · 5 years

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Pancakes and Corn.

Interactive Introverts was amazing, it was one of the coolest things I had been a part of and I was still in awe that I even was able to attend. My best friend was the only reason I could, so for my birthday (That happened a few days after), she drove us to the show. We were on the way back to where we were staying when we decided to stop at a gas station. I made no particular note of the bus that was parked in the back, or the group of people who were standing near it, as I walked into the station.

A03:

I was tired, I was not used to things like this, in fact, this was the only “show” I had ever really gone too. We were 4 hours from home, two from where we were staying and It was way past my bedtime. I was tired, but the excitement kept me alert.

“You gonna make it?” She asked me. “Of course, I am fricken zazzed!” She laughed at me.

“My wallet is on the bus,” I heard a familiar voice say. “Well, so is mine you spoon, doesn't anyone else have theirs?”

“I don't know! We all just kind of ran out of the bus, remember?”

My best friend cocked an eyebrow at me as I rounded the corner and saw both Dan and Phil standing there, bickering.

“Is that-?” she whispered as I cut her off.

“Yes, shh.”

They looked tired, flustered and lost. (like tired flustered and lost giraffes of course, because with us both being about 5'0, they were giants.)

“We need to figure something out Phil, you need to eat.”

“I know.” He said dryly.

Suddenly my mind was made up. I felt like I was going to throw up but still I approached them.

“Hey, maybe we shouldn't,” my best friends voice echoed behind me.

“Hello,” I said as I approached them.

“Hello,” Dan responded, his voice was tense. He had immediately changed his tone as he noticed my Manchester shirt. "How are you?"

“Hey.” Phil forced a smile.

“Sounds like you're having some trouble?” I asked, my voice embarrassingly went up two octaves, my best friend snickered behind me. I turned to her. “Shut up.”

Phil smirked

Dan sighed and quietly thought for a moment, looking between Nola and I. “The carbon dioxide detector went off in the bus. They can't tell if we are in grave danger or if it's a malfunction. They have a tech on their way now, but as it is,” Dan checked his phone “10:30 Pm on a Friday, it may take a while.” Dan sighed.

“Yikes.”

“Yes, we left everything on the bus,” Phil said.

“I can help. May I get you something? Pop, coffee or water? Anything?”

“Oh, no. That's okay, we will be fine.” Phil said rushed, Dan didn't look so convinced.

“Listen, it's no trouble. Honestly.”

Dan again glanced at my shirt. “No, we really shouldn't bother you. But it was nice for you to ask.”

It was my shirt, they felt uncomfortable because I was one of their viewers. I guess I could see that. Well, it was time for a change then. "Can you wait here a sec?” I asked

“There are too many bugs outside right now, so this is where we will be,” Dan responded. “Yep, summer in Wisconsin. Bugs and road construction.” I said. “Excuse us, please.” I pulled my best friend over to the side. “Keys!”

“Okay?” She handed them to me, still confused.

“Go make small talk”

“What? Why me? You're an asshole. You are the one that is obsessed with them!”

“Exactly. I have to go to your car; I'll be right back.” Nola was very patient with me, she wasn't really their fan, I just pulled her along for the ride. She had listened to me "fangirl" so much over Dan and Phil, I am sure I was annoying. I couldn't help it, I think she understood that and tolerated me. I started my way towards the door.

“Really?” I heard as I exited the building.

I went to the back of her small SUV and found my bag. In the dark, in the back seat, I hurried to take off my shirt and switch it with the flannel that I had, rolling up the sleeves. I took off all jewelry that was cat whisker themed. I wiped off most of my makeup and undid my hair so now it was in a messy bun like usual. Hopefully, now I looked like a normal person and not a fan.

I walked back in to find my best friend doing her best to fulfill my request.

“Hi,” I said as if we had never spoken. “I really respect both of you and I understand you may be uncomfortable, so let's start over. My name is Avery, this is my best friend, Nola. We are not local around here either, but we live in this state. We are over 18, way over.”

“Hey!” Nola exclaimed.

“What? It's true, isn't it? We are.”

“Oh my God, Av, you make us sound like we are 50!”

“Shh!” I turned back to them, “Anyway, it seems like you are in a circumstance that requires assistance.” I pulled out my wallet. “In this neck of the woods, we help when we can. Well, we do anyway. You can act like you don't know that we know who you are, relax and let me,”

“Us!” Nola protested

“Okay, us, help you. Let's just be people, not involve your “jobs” in it. Yeah? I can handle that. My job doesn't come into play when I meet new people or when I need help. So, gents, what will it be? You look exhausted Are you hungry?”

Phil glanced at Dan; Dan glanced at Phil. “Ah, can we have a second?”

Nola laughed through her nose softly. “Of course.” She pulled me closer to the front of the store. “You do realize what you are doing, right?”

“Trying to help?”

“No, not that. I am used to that. I know you. You are probably breaking some “tour” code or rule. This could be a PR nightmare if it were to go south. They probably are worried or scared.”

“Of us?” I asked incredulously laughing loudly. “Two chubby thirty-somethings in a gas station at 11:00 PM? Oh boy, so scary! It's not like we are intoxicated, either. That would have bad news written all over it. We are in Wisconsin, not LA.” I shook my head

“But still, Av. They are from London. Do you see a tall building here? No, you don't. You see orange cones and cornfields. I bet their manager would hate this.”

“Well, I don't see her anywhere, so maybe she isn't here?”

“Maybe not, but-”

“Ladies?” Dan called. I spun around; Dan was right next to me.

“Jesus Christ!” I screamed as I jumped.

“Ah, sorry.”

Nola at this point was beside herself laughing. She knew how jumpy I was. If I didn't love her so much, I would disown her.

“Oh, hardy har har, Nol, I got scared, big surprise." I turned to Dan. “It's fine, I'm jumpy.”

“So, we have decided to take you up on your hospitality.”

I smiled. “Thank you! So, here's the next hard question.” I glanced at Nola, “Do you want to get food and things here or did you want to go to an actual restaurant. I saw A Perkins a few miles down the road. They are 24 hours.” she glared at me, I had just volunteered her to take us all to a restaurant. I knew really she didn't mind, but at the moment, she wasn't too thrilled with the sudden offer and change in plans.

“Um,” Phil said. He seemed like he was not sure about this newly introduced idea, either.

“I know this is all weird.” Nola offered. “Honestly, we are just trying to help.” I guess she wasn't too mad at me.

“What she said. Yeah, this is strange, I know you don't know us, but I could, like give you my driver's license? So, like you can see I am who I say?” Phil didn't seem to relax. “Hey, Mr. Lester? It's gonna be okay. I swear.”

Dan laughed “Mr. Lester?”

“Well, I don't really know you, so I figured....”

“Oh my god, they are adorable Phil!” Phil shook his head smiling but seemed to agree. Much to Nola's chagrin.

“We are not!” she protested.

“Hey, speak for yourself!” I retorted.

“Not the time, Avery.” She said through clenched teeth. I could tell Nola was getting uncomfortable. So could Dan.

“Please, Dan and Phil,” Dan replied softly.

“Okay, Dan and Phil, do you guys want to go and get food or eat gas station food?” Nola asked, still a little annoyed. “Avery gets very hangry; we haven't eaten for hours. It's going to get nasty soon.”

“Hey!” I protested. “I am not that bad!”

“Um, sure.” Nola patted my arm “It's okay.”

Dan smirked. “Phil won't admit it, either.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Can we take security with us?” Dan sideways glanced at him.

“I figured you would. You don't know us. I could still give you my ID.” I said, trying not to roll my eyes. “I mean I get it, who the hell knows what could be lurking in the depths of a Perkins at 11:00 PM sandwiched between cones, hayfields, and corn.”

“Uh oh, it's starting,” Nola said. “It's almost too late. The hangry beast is about to make its debut.”

“No, it's not. I wasn't trying to be rude; I was being serious... Or at least trying to be.” I protested. She ignored me.

“It's going to get worse before it gets better. So, go get your bodyguards and meet us out at the red SUV under pump 14. We will wait.” Nola smiled and pulled my arm leading me away. We paid for the items we needed and went back out to the car.

“Gee thanks, Nol. Way to make me look like a baby.”

“I didn't want you to embarrass yourself. You are hangry right now, Av. Just accept it. I also was trying to make them more comfortable.” She sighed. “Oh yeah, thanks for just leaving me with them while you changed by the way. I had to make small talk. You KNOW I hate that. Also, for volunteering me to go out to dinner with your favorite YouTubers. Like, not awkward at all right?”

“I love you, Nola. Thank you.”

“Yeah, Yeah. I hope they don't mind a messy back seat if they are riding with us. I am sure there are fruit loops and toys all over.”

I smirked.

“Also, holy hell they are tall.”

“Yeah, they are.”

“The things I do for you, I swear.”

“You are the best friend ever.”

After about 10 minutes they approached with a bodyguard that looked like he could kill us with his thumb.

“Holy shit, look at captain buff there,” I said.

“He makes them look small; he makes us look like ants.”

I opened the door and smiled.

“Okay,” Phil said, “This is Hank, part of our security team. He has to ride with us.”

“Hello, Hank.”

“May I see your identifications, please?” He asked, formally. This dude was intimidating.

“Sure,” I got out my license and handed it to him, Nola did the same.

“Good. This is good.” He turned to Dan and Phil. “We are okay with this,”

As they got into the vehicle, it was a tight squeeze, Hank was sat in the middle.

“There is surprisingly a lot of legroom,” Phil said to Dan as if he didn't recall the circumstance at hand.

“You are lucky we are short,” Nola said, glancing in the rearview.

Dan picked up a stuffed rabbit on the floor.

“That's Mr. Fluffy pants. He and my youngest have had a bit of a falling out.”

I smirked. On the way down here, her youngest was scolding that poor rabbit for about 5 miles. “So, Perkins then?”

“Yes, please,” Phil responded. “I'm not sure what that is, but if there is food, let's go.”

I laughed, “Sorry, 'round here it's a common household name. Yes, it's a restaurant.” A car was following closely behind us, I glanced at Nola who seemed uneasy.

“Is there more security behind us?” I asked as casually as I could.

“Yes,” was what Hank responded.

“Sorry, we are not used to being followed. For us, that is out of place. Had to make sure.” I responded.

“Sorry,” Dan said. “We are so used to it, It never occurred to me that it may be concerning to someone else.”

“Well, at least now I don't have to get us lost trying to lose them,” Nola muttered.

“Not that you couldn't though.”

“Avery, shut up, okay?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Is this what we sound like?” Dan asked Phil.

“Maybe.”

“You've known each other half the time that we have,” I said. "If you don't, you will in 10 years,” Nola smirked.

We were seated at a table, Dan and Phil on one side, Nola and I on the other. Hank and the other security team members were seated in booths around us.

“Get what you'd like,” I said to Dan and Phil. "Do you guys need to eat?" I called over to the security team.

"No," Hank said, "We're fine, ma'am."

“Thanks, it was really nice to include us all. Even our team," Dan said, motioning behind him

“Yeah, this is all very kind of you both,” Phil said.

I blushed. “Ah, yeah.”

“Phil, stop,” Dan whispered.

“So,” Nola asked, breaking the tension. “Fortnite, huh?” She had heard me talking about Phil's victory tweet and must have remembered. Thank God she remembered.

“Yeah, haven't had a chance to play in a while, world tour and all,” Phil responded. “Do you game?'

“I do. Not Fortnite.”

“Oh?”

“Not my style.”

Phil looked at me “Do you game?”

“Well, I sure try. I am not very good, but I enjoy it.”

“Fortnite?”

“Nope, sorry. I'm A PUBG kiddy” I laughed “Trust me, I know it's bad.”

“I like PUBG somewhat,” Dan said. “Just... so much desync.”

“Oh, don't I know it.”

Menus were brought to the table; the server came back with drinks. Nola, Dan, and Phil continued their conversation. I smiled and listened. I couldn't believe this was happening. Nola nudged me.

“You okay?' she whispered

“Yes. I am old and tired.”

Phil laughed. “How old is old?”

“Phil!” Dan scolded “You don't ask women their ages.”

“Why?” I asked, “Women who get all uptight about getting older, need to chill the fuck out. The alternative is death. So.”

Nola scowled at me. “Avery, stop.”

“What? You know how I feel about this.”

“I know, but really? Now?”

“You either get old or you die.”

“I know, I know.”

“We're both over 30,” I said. Thankfully, the server had decided to come over to take our order at that moment, after they had gone, I looked at Phil. He had ordered a giant stack of pancakes.

“Don't you ever get sick of eating pancakes? I mean, good lord man.”

“Nope, never. You don't like them?”

“Oh, I like them just fine, just once in a while and now even less. We can't eat many carbs or much Gluten”

“Oh,” He had said.

“We refer to our medical conditions like they are Pokémon,” Nola said.

“Acid reflux disease, I choose you!” I said, smirking at her.

They didn't respond to that, but I wasn't sure how they would. It took a while to get accustomed to Nola and my "strange."

“Sorry, we took up your evening,” Dan said a short time later.

Nola laughed. “Well, typically she is asleep at this time, but I can assure you, there is nowhere Avery would rather be."

“Nola!” I hissed.

“It's true, Av,”

“I get it,” Dan said.

“Yeah,” I said. “This is the strangest small talk conversation I have ever been a part of,” I laughed. “Like, is this real life?”

“It better be,” Phil said, “I really want those pancakes.” We all laughed.

After we had eaten and paid, we were making our way back to Nola’s car when Dan said.

“We should take pictures together.”

“Should we?”

“Well, if you want. I would like to tweet about Wisconsin hospitality.”

“Wa-scon-sin.” I corrected. “It's not West-con-sin.”

“Avery, stop it.”

“Well, I want them to know how to say it properly!”

Dan laughed, “Noted, so here?” We all gathered in frame and took a few shots, first with his phone, then with Nola's.

“You're okay that we tweet this?”

I looked at Nola, she nodded. “You remember how crazy I told you the Phannies get, right?” Both Dan and Phil nodded emphatically.

“Yeah, I think I can handle it.”

“Okay, then yeah, we're good.”

The drive back to their bus was mostly quiet, I was trying not to fall asleep. As much as Nola had roasted me while we were eating, It wasn't untrue. When we arrived, we walked them back to their bus.

“Well, looks liked you're good,” Nola said.

“Thank you both so much. We had such a good evening.” Phil said.

“You're welcome, honestly though, it was no trouble.”

“We are going to remember this night when we are old ladies rocking on a porch,” Nola said and I nodded in agreement.

“Have a safe trip to your next destination,”

“Thanks,” Dan said, holding his arms out. I hugged him, then Phil.

When we had said our final goodbyes, we walked reluctantly back to the SUV, I could tell Nola was as sad the night was over as much as I was.

“It was really the best birthday present in the world for this to have happened,”

“Yeah, I know. I am never topping this, you realize.”

I laughed, “I am just thankful you took me to see the show in the first place, this was just a delightful bonus” Suddenly our phones started to chime. “I guess they tweeted.”

“Two gracious Wisconsin ladies took care of and fed us tonight when our bus had a malfunction, locking all of our wallets inside. Thank you, Avery and Nola. We hope when we have been friends for 20 years, we are just like you.” And there was the picture, Dan, Phil, Nola and I.

“Holy shit,” I muttered.

“We're Twitter famous.”

“For now, yeah.”

I replied to Phil's Tweet. “You nerds will never be as cool as we are, but keep trying. (Ps: You're welcome.) “

"We probably are going to want to turn off our notifications for a while.” “Yeah, probably.”

“This is unreal.”

“This is going to be a story for parties for sure.”

“If we ever go to parties again, we don't have any other friends.”

“Will we had better make some and get invited to parties. We pretty much have too now, we have an epic story,”

I laughed, “I love you, Nola,”

“Love ya too.”

#phanfiction #pff bingo 2019

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thebibliomancer · 6 years

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Essential Avengers: Avengers Annual #8: Spectrums of Deceit!

October, 1978

Is that an early cameo of Captain Monica Marvel? Can’t be, Mar-Vell doesn’t die until ‘82. Maybe this strange, enigmatic cover copy ‘sinister spectrums’ offers some clue as to the identity of this glowing individual.

(Its the All-New All-Different Dr. Spectrum)

Last annual, the Avengers failed to stop Thanos, having to crossover with Marvel Two-in-One to get the job done.

This time is less giant purple man tries to blow up every star and more ‘Hank Pym ruins everything.’

We start at ant-size as Yellowjacket welds a gem back together for Jan/Wasp’s birthday.

This is a very considerate gift. She loves jewelry and they say that adding a personal touch makes a gift even better.

Here is where it goes from ‘awwww’ to ‘ffs hank.’

Its not just any jewel. Its Doctor Spectrum’s Power Prism. Y’know, the one that talked and was evil? Hank insists that its harmless now.

He also swears his ants to secrecy. Because Jan is not patient when it comes to birthday gifts and odds are she was the kind of person that not only found all the Christmas gifts before Christmas but also opened them up to find out what they were and then re-wrapped them.

So Hank’s ‘wife detector’ goes off because of course he has one of those. So he hides the power prism.

As soon as she’s in the room she’s trying to wheedle hints from him but he’s adamant that she’ll get her gift at dinner.

Also: apparently Yellowjacket’s giant shoulders are just... removable. I mean, I guess it makes sense but you get so used to thinking of superhero costumes as this one piece outfit even though the gloves and boots and outside underwear indicate it being in multiple parts.

Also the texture drawn on the neckline makes me think... is the top part of the Yellowjacket costume just a really tight sweater?

Yellowjacket goes to change his clothes and as soon as he’s gone, Wasp starts sleuthing.

Hank was nervous when she came in and he shut that drawer awfully fast. Maybe he was hiding something. LIKE A PRESENT.

And sure, the drawer is locked but she has the power of small. So she uses her power of small to get small, crawl through the lock, and sneak a peep at the gift.

Wasp: “Darn it, Hank! If you didn’t arouse my curiosity, I wouldn’t have to satisfy it!”

That sure is an argument, Jan!

She’s thrilled to discover that either her present is a gigantic jewel and/or that Hank has a gigantic jewel for unrelated reasons. Either way, she just has to touch it.

And for some reason, Wasp touching the power prism is Bad while Hank was touching it a bunch earlier to no effect. Maybe because he was wearing gloves.

Either way, she feels a terrible sensation of someone siphoning her consciousness. Like when her soul was being transferred into Jocasta that one time in Avengers #162. But differenty.

Anyway, she’s being possessed by the power prism and for some reason this causes an explosion.

In a sitting room or perhaps parlor, study, den, reading room, or library, the sound of the explosion startles Quicksilver and Wonder Man.

Quicksilver runs off to see what’s what and immediately gets shot in the face by the All-New All-Different Doctor Spectrum.

Although, I’m pretty sure Janet wasn’t a doctor.

I don’t think the power prism cares though and its calling the shots and even loudly identifies itself to Wonder Man, who arrives just in time to see Quicksilver laid out on his ass.

Apparently, one of the powers of the power prism are hypnotic rings of light. Because Doctor Spectrum uses these hypnotic rings of light to hypnotize both Wonder Man and Quicksilver.

The prism briefly considers hopping ship but decides that although Quicksilver and Wonder Man are formidable, neither can equal the one it really wants to possess.

Pro-tip: Its Thor.

I wonder if that’s Janet bleeding through. Before she got married, one of her common characterizations was Aesthetic Appreciation of Every Guy and Thor came up more than once.

But the prism claims that Janet’s consciousness is completely dominated.

Power Prism: “My other host bodies were too strong-willed -- too driven by their own lusts for power to allow me pre-eminence. My last host subjugated my will to such a degree that I could not even voice my displeasure! Janet Pym has no power-lost, no obsessive desires -- and thus her will is dominatable.”

So its an interesting idea that actually not being a power-hungry jerk makes you more vulnerable to gem-based mind control but hey fuck you costume jewelry for implying that Janet Van Dyne is weak-willed.

Anyway, the power prism wants Thor. But before it seeks out that bod, it must take out the only one on Earth who knows Doctor Spectrum’s sole weakness.

I’m guessing Iron Man.

Meanwhile, at Iron Man, Iron Man holds up a large heavy thing (a solar collector, apparently) while some guys weld at it.

Doctor Spectrum arrives on scene and realizes that maybe dressing like a supervillain is less than inconspicuous so changes Jan back into her normal Wasp attire.

So Wasp/Spectrum walks through the crowd of leering workers and sucker punches Iron Man, knocking him out in one punch, man.

The crowd of workers immediately decides to try to beat her up because what if she tries to punch them next?

Luckily for them, the prism decides that rather than kick their shit its easier just to put them in a dome and fly off with Iron Man.

Wasp/Prism returns to the the Pym Mansion in Cresskill, New Jersey and puts Iron Man with Wonder Man and Quicksilver.

Apparently she was hiding the two in the pool. But maybe there’s a better place to hide them. So she flings the three off into space. Or maybe a secret hiding spot. Its ambiguous.

But little does Wasp/Prism suspect that Hank Pym has been peeking through the curtains and has realized that Janet has been taken over by the power prism’s sentient EEEEVIL personality. Plus, news about what happened at the plant has already reached him despite it happening just a page ago and all the witnesses being trapped in a dome.

He must have seen it on the news, where all superheroes get their informations.

Oh. Actually. When I said "little does Wasp/Prism suspect" I meant ‘she explodes the wall and starts attacking Hank.’ Because the prism is in Janet’s mind brain and can read her thoughts. And her thoughts revealed that Hank would have come all the way here to change clothes because keeping clothes at Avenger’s Mansion is silly.

But as Doctor Spectrum attacks, Hank shrinks down teeny small and summons a swarm of ants to attack Spectrum.

Hrm. Its always a bit uncomfortable seeing Hank sick ants on Jan.

But also, he can apparently command the loyalty of ants even without his helmet. So that’s neat.

Doctor Spectrum just creates a propeller though and disperses the ant swarm and assumes that the winds would have knocked out Hank or killed him. So whatever.

But then a bunch of superheroes burst through the wall hole that Doctor Spectrum kindly provided.

There’s Beast, Captain America, Black Panther, and Ms Marvel.

That’s a lot of blue and blue as black highlights. This is the Avengers’ Blue Team. Gold team would be led by Iron Man.

They were summoned by Hank who alluded to a mysterious precaution he had taken. But it was just a general alert so didn’t indicate that the threat was Doctor Spectrum or that Doctor Spectrum is Janet this time.

So without hesitation, the heroes attack. Although, Doctor Spectrum has a force field so even though Cap throws his mighty shield, Doctor Spectrum’s abdomen refuses to yield. Its like she doesn’t even know the song.

Ms Marvel flies up and punches Doctor Spectrum who says the cliche ‘I almost felt that’ before blasting her with a few thousand mega-watts.

I thought Ms Marvel (by the by, the Carol Danvers one, not Kamala) could absorb and redirect energy but I guess not always.

Seeing that Ms Marvel was just shocked with enough electricity to possibly kill someone, Black Panther does the only sensible thing and puts Doctor Spectrum in a headlock.

Oh, T’Challa... never change!

Cap tries to tell Black Panther to pry away the prism but its too late. Doctor Spectrum blasts the three heroes with a BRAM!

But by this point, Ms Marvel has gotten back up.

Ms Marvel: “I’ve got to hand it to you. That electro-shock hurt plenty!”

Doctor Spectrum: “‘Hurt’!? It... was meant to totally incapacitate!”

Ms Marvel: “Oh, it was, was it? In that case, I don’t feel so bad... about knocking you through the blasted wall!!”

And then Ms Marvel punches her through the blasted wall.

This gets Spectrum’s dander up. She was planning on adding Ms Marvel to her collection of hostages to lure Thor with. But now she’s just going to kill her.

Ms Marvel says the equivalent of ‘come on if you think you’re hard enough’ but then Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch show up and flank Spectrum.

Doctor Spectrum boasts that “Mine is the power of thought! Anything I can conceive I can pit against you!”

She hasn’t done much with it so far outside the propeller thing. Mainly just generic blasts, electricity, and force fields. But be afraid that at some point she might be actually creative with her powers, fools!

And then Vision flies out of the pool. For dramatic effect, I assume.

Vision: “You are not so invincible as you would have us believe. Anyone who has perused the proper files knows you possess a weakness -- a weakness that I, with my computer mind, could not fail to recall!”

And he activates the sun lamps he’s holding, blasting Doctor Spectrum with ultraviolet radiation as she protests that only Iron Man knows her weakness.

Vision then calls her a dumbass for assuming that the Avengers wouldn’t share knowledge about their enemies.

Makes sense to Ms Marvel though. To someone like Doctor Spectrum, allies are tools to be used. You wouldn’t just share potentially valuable information for free! Obviously!

Hank, Hank, and Captain America all come out from the house. And Hank (Pym) reveals that Doctor Spectrum is actually... JANET.

And with prism ultravioleted, the Spectrum costume fades, revealing her true identity.

BUT ALSO SHE’S IN A COMA <dramatic sting>

So the Avengers do what they always do whenever anything vaguely medical happens.

Call Mysterious Doctor Donald Blake. I.e., Thor. A.k.a., Donald Blake.

And while Dr Thor flies across the state, the Avengers keep a watch over Wasp. Although not a close enough watch to notice that her hands are glowing. One job. You had one job.

Truly the power prism is still active and is playing dead because it senses Thor coming.

Although the power prism is also baffled and dare I say even flabbergasted when it senses Thor vanish, as Dr Donald Blake shows up.

Actual doctor, Donald Blake, diagnoses Jan as physically fine but in some weird hypnotic trance. Like that alien prism that took her over still has a grip on her mind but is too weak to exert its will. Exactly like that scenario.

Removing the power prism isn’t even an option. It has fused into her nervous system. Removing it could kill her. (Also you could try chopping off her hand. It might just work.)

What they need is more information about this asshole space gem. Maybe Thor should go soak in a mystically significant pool, his abs intercepting potent oracular rays from the future. Or maybe they’ll just go ask Dr. Strange.

MEANWHILE, yeah. Iron Man, Quicksilver, and Wonder Man are still stuck in a capsule in a secret place. Its not space, to my dismay. Its actually the Atlantic Ocean which is at least a close second.

Luckily the Power Prism wasn’t completely zonked out because the capsule is still transmitting just enough oxygen to keep the three heroes alive but unconscious.

Also, Captain America very briefly switches into short-sleeves for summer, as if in some kind of coloring error, but switches back off-panel.

So the Avengers get in the Quinjet and go visit Dr. Strange.

He lives in the same city as they do. They’re lucky Tony pays for all this jet fuel.

Anyway, since the Defenders are the ones that beat Dr. Spectrum last time, Strange will be able to tell them what happened to the original host.

Wong tries to shoo the Avengers away because clearly Dr. Strange is far too busy to-

Dr. Strange interrupts to tell Wong to let them in.

Dr. Strange: “I sensed from the other room that this is a matter only I can deal with.”

Fun fact: hearing is a sense. In magician talk he may well be saying ‘I couldn’t help but overhear but this is a job for SORCERER SUPREME’

Although the extent of his help is to exposit some of what happened in Defenders apparently and then sending them on their way with an address.

As dubious as this sounds, apparently the Squadron Sinister broke no laws when they tried to sell the Earth to an alien and possibly other appearances since. So Dr. Strange just mind wiped them.

Difference between Marvel and DC. Marvel could never do a comic event about how mind wiping is bad because Dr. Strange has been gleefully doing it for decades with everyone mostly cool with it.

Anyway, he used Brand Ecch brain washing soap apparently because just one Squaddie seeing the Avengers may cause the whole sinister package to remember their evil ways and evil desires.

Are we sure that Dr. Strange is the Sorcerer Supreme and not just the Sorcerer Pretty Okay?

Oh and the reason why Dr. Strange is too busy to help? He has to watch Clea dance. BUT IN FAIRNESS, she’s dancing the Rituals of Valtorr and without proper supervision, why chaos could envelop the globe! And that’s why its very important that Dr. Strange watch very carefully.

I think some Titan Up The Defense is rubbing off on my perception of Dr. Strange. I can even hear the voice.

PART TWO: TO TAME A TORTURED TITAN

Guess what?

Split up gang, we’ll cover more ground that way!

Vision, Ms Marvel, and Black Panther go to the Arnold Columbo Health Spa in Queens. I don’t know that Vision can actually get swole and Black Panther is perfect the way he is. Have you seen how he’s drawn in the Christopher Priest run? He’s practically a dorito. A Bruce Timm character even.

Inside the health spa, Thundra is introduced to Mr. Kant. I guess a personal trainer.

Thundra immediately emasculates everyone present by lifting up a lat pulldown machine. A machine which weighs tons. But you’re doing it wrong. Its pulldown, not lift up. You’re working the wrong muscle group, Thundra.

But then Mr. Kant (I mean, obviously its Hyperion. He’s Not-Superman and Mr. Kant is a very Not-Superman name) sees the Avengers.

As Dr. Strange said, just seeing them brings back Hyperion’s memories and Hyperion’s memories are not good memories. I don’t know if anyone recalls this but Squadron Sinister Hyperion’s motives were that Earth accidentally destroyed his home planet because it was the size of an atom and Earth accidentally atom smashed it.

So instantly upon seeing the Avengers, its like a billion people died right in front of him all over again.

So he tells them to fuck off, understandably enough. And when Ms Marvel does not in fact fuck off, Thundra punches her through a wall.

She’s okay though. She even has time to quip as she flies through the women’s calisthenics class.

Vision tells Thundra that they came here to talk, not to fight. And then to show how disappointed he is with her aggressive actions, Vision shoots Thundra with his Heat Vision.

Meanwhile, Mr. Kant tries to put Black Panther in a headlock but Black Panther just flips him into some other bodybuilders.

I jumped the gun early because apparently Hyperion’s memory was gradually returning. Hatred of the Avengers and dead people first. And now he has remembered that he has super powers and he slams two barbells together hard enough to disintegrate them. The shockwaves scatter everyone in the room.

Except Vision.

He increased his mass to withstand the attack and now he calls Hyperion emotionally wrought and blows up the exercise equipment he was going to hit Vision with.

Meanwhile, another bodybuilder challenges Vision to fisticuffs. So Ms Marvel punches him.

A dazed Thundra gets in Ms Marvel’s way. So Ms Marvel punches her.

She’s really good at punching.

Meanwhile, Hyperion continues to be emotionally overwrought and angry that anyone would say that about him.

Hyperion: “You deride my actions, calling them emotional -- ! Tell me, Avenger, how would you feel if the planet which birthed you was destroyed -- all its people wiped out!?! Your world is going to pay for what it did to mine!”

In fairness, I think he’s earned his anger.

He did not earn a punch to Vision’s noggin and when he tries for one, Vision goes intangible and then does the inverse hand trick. Instead of sticking his hand in someone and slightly solidifying it, Vision slightly solidifies his head while Hyperion’s fist is through it.

Either way, it hurts like hell.

Meanwhile, Black Panther breaks up the fight between Ms Marvel and Thundra to gaze upon a miracle of sorts.

Vision and Hyperion are... talking? Like reasonable adults??

Vision: “I recommend you examine the forces that drive you -- both for the sake of the planet you threaten and for the sake of your own sanity.”

Hyperion: “Don’t try to imply my anger is unjustified. I warn you --”

Vision: “You have reason for sorrow. You have lost much! What I fault is your persistence in blaming an entire planet’s populace for the accidental deed of a handful of a well-meaning scientists. It was a tragedy, but an irreparable one. And you must allow yourself to recognize it as such.”

Hyperion: “But you can’t understand how helpless I feel! With all my strength, there is nothing I can do. I can’t restore a single life -- !”

Vision: “Frustration can be put toward constructive goals. Perhaps you should seek out the unknowing scientists who erred... keep them from making the same mistake again... from destroying another micro-world.”

Long moments pass, as Hyperion reflects on what has been said. Finally he slowly nods...

Great jimminy! Maybe Vision should become a therapist. The Marvel universe is lacking people who can talk to superheroes about their problems. Its mostly Doc Sampson and Moonstone. And Moonstone is evil.

Meanwhile, Thundra is confused. Who did a disagreement end without a determination of who is more powerful? Where, she might ask, was the arm wrestling contest?

AND NOW PART THREE: THE SPEEDSTER SINISTER!

Captain America, Scarlet Witch, and Hawkeye (a mere three-quarters of a kooky quartet) go to the warehouse HQ of Hudson Pharmaceuticals in West Caldwell, NJ to track down a speedster. But alas, not the one that will complete the set.

But as soon as perfectly ordinary and fastest pharmaceutical formulizer Harvey sees the Avengers, his memories immediately return and he remembers he’s the Whizzer!

Some memories you just don’t want back!

And hey, it took much less time than Hyperion did. Probably because of the superspeed.

The Whizzer immediately tries to kill the Avengers. I guess mind-wipes sometimes do have negative consequences!

He runs at the three and although they dodge, he was really aiming to rummage through a crate of drugs.

Because he’s a chemical genius. Instead of mongoose blood, this Whizzer made a pill that gave him superspeed. So its no trouble at all for him to whip up a smoke bomb out of random chemicals.

Although the cloud is green. It may be a stink smoke bomb.

Hawkeye shoots a ‘vaccuum up the gas’ arrow because why wouldn’t he have one of those? Do you not remember that he invented anti-gravity? Fitting a motor powerful enough and a container small enough for an arrow is child’s play to Hawkeye, arrow genius.

Even with the smoke gone, Whizzer is whizzering all around shoulder checking Hawkeye and boasting “How can you stop a foe who is elsewhere by the time you strike?”

The answer is obvious though.

When Captain America throws his mighty shield, all who oppose his shield must yield. FACTS.

And with a chang wang BONK! a ricocheted mighty shield bonks Whizzer in the back of the noggin.

Cap has practiced fighting superspeed foes in mock battle with Quicksilver. Plus, this is exactly how he beat the Supreme version of Whizzer when they fought on Other-Earth.

But there will be no talking this foe down. Apparently none possess Vision’s amazingly unexpected conciliatory prowess. Either that or maybe Whizzer had less sympathetic motives than Hyperion.

So they’re just going to sedate the hell out of him so he’s out of their hair through the current crisis.

Also, the foreman or whoever who called Harvey down to see the Avengers just disappeared between panels. In fairness, I’d do the same if a superhero fight broke out in my workplace.

PART FOUR: WHERE THERE’S A WILL...

Beast is flying solo on this one. For some reason. Surely one of the teams that had three members could have spared one.

Anyway.

The latest brainwashed member of the Squadron Sinister is... an evangelist named Billy Roberts?

And he is preaching to a huge crowd.

Even though the gist of the sermon is basically ‘how dare people accuse me of being in it for the money, why I tell you I’d do anyone a favor right now!’

Basically.

So Beast jumps out of the audience and goes ‘dibs.’

And after relaying the essential facts, Beast and Billy Roberts go off-stage to continue the conversation. Probably upsetting all these hundreds of people that came a long way to hear a man shout stuff about how pious he is.

And now that Billy Roberts has regained his memory he shares the SECRET ORIGIN OF DR SPECTRUM. Or a secret origin. Or something.

Bob Farmer, a sanitation worker in Detroit found a giant jewel in the trash. But Bob Farmer is an honest man who only believes in what he earns through his own labors so he gave it to Billy Roberts because Bob Farmer is also a very religious man.

Billy Roberts was going to sell it to fund his services but whoops, turns out it was a power prism and it possessed him.

Which is a very different story from the one the prism itself told but whatever. I’m sure nothing will come of this discrepancy.

But if Beast brings Billy Roberts to Jan and the power prism, he’s sure it can be brought under control again. Very sure.

So the Avengers return to the Pym pool with Billy Roberts in tow.

Hank thinks this is some joke, bringing a preacher to deal with alien jewel possession but he settles down when Billy Roberts explains his backstory again.

Billy Roberts: “This then, is the afflicted? I do not claim to have been granted healing powers by the Lord. But I do believe the scripture that says ‘All things come... to he who waits!’”

And the power prism leaves Jan and levitates towards Billy Roberts.

Too late, Black Panther realizes Billy’s perfidy and that he was only looking to regain the prism’s power.

Too late because the gem and host are reunited again with a BRAM! and Dr. Spectrum stands before the Avengers once again.

Dr Spectrum: “I was chosen by the Lord! Discovering the gem was a sign... a reward for my years of unyielding faith in him! His trust in me abounds! My will is his will!”

Hoo boy.

Billy Roberts Spectrum is also better at using the Power Prism’s green lantern-esque power better than Jan was. Which means he’s better at it than the prism itself.

He creates a giant energy fist and punches Beast, Scarlet Witch, and Hawkeye seneseless. And then creates giant electrodes that electrocute Captain America. All while yelling that he’s doing god’s will and they’re suffering god’s wrath for opposing him.

During the fight, Actual Doctor David Blake sneaks off. And then Thor appears! Huh, y’know have we ever seen those two in the same room at the same time?

But if you’ll recall from many words above, Thor appearing was exactly what the prism was aiming for. And having the focus for its singular objective appear in front of it allows the prism to wrest control away from Reverend Roberts and abscond his body.

To lodge in Mjolnir and take control of Thor.

Uh oh.

MEANWHILE, so hey. Apparently Roberts taking the prism from Jan caused the bubble that Dr Spectrum had trapped Iron Man, Wonder Man, and Quicksilver in UNDER THE SEA to burst.

If not for Iron Man’s quick action, Quicksilver would have drowned. As is, he swallowed a lot of water and will not be joining the big, exciting superhero fight. And Wonder Man will stay to watch him. So just Iron Man will be going to join the rest of the plot.

Meanwhile, Spectrum Thor (he doesn’t even get the costume. What a rip-off) blasts Ms Marvel out of the fight.

Scarlet Witch tries to Do A Thing but a near miss with lightning knocks her off her feet and out of the fight.

So Vision tries to... Guess.

a) Challenge Thor to a rap-off;

b) Fight the brainwashing with the power of love;

c) Do that thing he always do, like every single time, and jam his hand into a person

If you guessed c then you win nothing. But were correct.

Doesn’t work though because Spectrum Thor sticks his hammer in Vision’s chest, the mystic energies causing Vision too much pain for him to finish his hand thing.

So I guess all the Avengers are defeated for- oh hey Iron Man.

He makes quite an entrance. Shooting his repulsors while diving at Thor. And subsequently getting smacked away like a baseball. Homerun?

Iron Man recovers quickly and tries to blast Spectrum Thor with ultraviolet light but alarums and alack!

The Power Prism didn’t just want Thor’s body to be the biggest and buffest! Thor’s Asgardian bod renders the prism immune to ultraviolet light. For some reason.

Just go with it.

But suddenly and arbitrarily, the enchantment on Mjolnir picks now to remember that its a thing. A possessed Thor is not Worthy so Mjolnir becomes too heavy to hold.

And Iron Man wastes no time before he starts punching Thor in the face.

I’m wondering why Thor is even still mind-controlled if he’s not holding Mjolnir but whatever.

I won’t worry about it because something glorious happens.

THE RETURN OF THE IRON ROLLER SKATES!

Annnnnnd they are about as effective as always. Which is to say, not.

Iron Man tries to skates circles around Thor to confuse him and Thor just punches him in the face.

But look. The Iron Skates are not great because they’re good. They’re great because they’re bad. They try their best. Leave them alone.

Thor stands over the fallen Iron Man gloating... so Iron Man shoots him with his feet repulsors. But he realizes that everything he does is a temporary measure. He can’t beat Thor!

So its very lucky that a plot device is around to kick in right about now.

Guess how long its been since Thor dropped Mjolnir? Sixty seconds. And Thor is gone in sixty seconds, replaced by Actual Doctor Donald Blake.

And Mjolnir is replaced by a simple walking stick.

And here’s the thing. The power prism literally blinks out of existence because the enchantment on Mjolnir that governs its change of state didn’t make allowances for any stowaways.

The prism and the intelligence it contained have ceased to exist. Possibly forever. But probably not.

Blake even speculates that the ‘lose the power of Thor if don’t hold hammer for 60 seconds’ rule was even Odin’s safeguard against this very situation. To protect Earth from a thunder god gone berserk.

But there’s no time to really grapple with the multitude of questions raised by this annual. Because:

BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Happy birthday, Jan! Your husband is a terrible gift-giver! Make it a rule, no year is the Evil Extraterrestrial Intelligence Anniversary.

So the process of writing up this annual might have been agonizing but I liked the issue itself. We revisit the Squadron Supreme, get to see several Spectrums (oh I get the title now), Vision gets to talk Hyperion down, and it all ends on a party.

Plus, when the Squadron Supreme or Sinister attack as a group, they individually get taken out pretty fast. So it was interesting to see what a big threat Doctor Spectrum could be even to a whole gaggle of Avengers. That Green Lantern-esque power is potent.

Good times!

You should follow @essential-avengers because it will make an intelligent space gem angry. I can’t prove this nor do I have even the flimsiest basis for saying this but nonetheless its true possibly.

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