#except her friends do indeed want her to eat all that pizza i mean lead the eternal alliance

[miraluking-respectfully]

i thought maybe the swtor fever had abandoned me forever but i'm standing at the cash register going crazy over kotfe-era sav again

#''i cant believe you guys are making me eat all this pizza'' ''MEGAN NO'' vine #except her friends do indeed want her to eat all that pizza i mean lead the eternal alliance #in my version of events satele and marr's mandatory forest excursion plays out a little more slowly and with more discussion #she does make a lightsaber but not before she cries herself out and shouts at master satele and then calms down and has some soup... #oc: savtas thom

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

The Call of the Wild Woman

Just some fluff featuring the green-haired goddess of NXT. 

Pairing: Shotzi Blackheart x OFC

Word count: 2,412

Content advisory: brief sexual references, language

The first time I met Shotzi, I instantly liked her. We shook hands and she gave me this smile that made me feel like I was having a great day, even though there hadn’t been anything exceptional about it to that point. I was a little overwhelmed with all the people I was meeting, trying to get a sense of their look, their personality, their character, but I knew from our introduction that I was going to remember her for years, even if I never saw her again. 

Of course, Shotzi’s a memorable person. Tall, tattooed, pierced and sporting that incredible acid green hair, it would be hard not to remember her. But I felt like I’d remember her vivacious eyes and confident smile just as much as the things that made her stand out from a mile away. My whole first day getting led around the performance center, I found my eyes drawn back to her whenever she appeared. 

I had just been moved to NXT to take over as their chief makeup artist. I’d been working on Raw for close to a year when the position opened up and I’d been so excited and nervous about whether I’d get the job that I felt as if I’d barely slept for two months. My boyfriend and I actually broke up while I was waiting to hear back and I hardly noticed. We’d been struggling since his work had moved him out of state, and things had just sort of ended like a wave washing over a sandcastle. I wasn’t bitter but I was lonely. And that, along with my desire to show that I could run a team in high pressure situations, meant that I threw myself headlong into the new job. I tried to keep some time to see friends but work seemed more rewarding. 

By the time I’d been there a few months, my circle of friends was largely made up of coworkers. There were always birthdays or barbecues or other things going on, and it was fun to be able to dish about work without having to explain a lot of background detail. I was enjoying myself. But, yeah, I was definitely lonely. 

I dropped a couple of hints here and there that I wouldn’t mind being fixed up with any single male friends and a couple of the women made suggestions. A couple of the men did too. But none of it went anywhere. I was too busy and too awkward to make a first move and if any of the suggested bachelors ever thought to check me out on social media, it never resulted in a phone call. 

Shotzi was always one of my favorite models. I loved transforming her from the natural beauty she was to the wild child who appeared on tv every week. And while we’d talk about work, she also had the greatest gifts as a storyteller, and the crazy stories to complement her skills. She’d been raised around bikers and conservative immigrants at the same time. She’d worked as a late night host for a horror movie tv broadcast before she became a wrestler. It was like she’d been born to perform and had found a way to do so while still being herself. 

I found myself sitting at home, always alone, watching the silly and shocking horror movies she’d recommend to me, or tracking down music by bands she’d mention or whose shirts she’d wear. When she’d worked on tv, she’d developed a loyal following of teenage boys and girls who used to do everything from message her begging her to go out with them to sending her love letters and poetry to showing up outside the station in the hopes of meeting her. It sounded both creepy and sad but I sympathized a little with her starry-eyed fans. She was a kind of dazzling whirlwind of a person and, indeed, I was dazzled by her. 

One day, I’d showed up at work after a particularly inauspicious Tinder date. The guy had picked me up for what was supposed to be coffee and a walk but had insisted that we stop by his friend’s place so he could get some pot. The three of us shared a joint and I assumed we were about to leave when another joint appeared. Being a lightweight, I declined but the two of them proceeded to smoke it themselves. Then the friend’s roommate came home from band practice. She pulled out her bong and that was getting passed around while she played us the hour-long piece of meandering prog that they’d created that day. All three of them seemed really entranced by what they could hear in the music, which I was pretty certain they were imagining. 

About an hour later, my date and his friend started playing video games. I quietly tried to suggest that we leave and at least grab that coffee because I was clinging to the hope that maybe the guy, who was way cuter than I’d counted on, might have some redeeming qualities. He assured me we could leave in a minute. He and his friend were completely absorbed in their game, while the roommate randomly started telling me about how her mother had given birth to her at a Grateful Dead concert in the eighties, after following the band on tour for years. She didn’t seem to care much if I responded and would focus entirely on her phone every minute she wasn’t speaking. 

Eventually, the roommate had begun to complain loudly that she was hungry and the guys agreed that we should order pizza. I handed over some money and advised them that I was a vegetarian, only to be surprised by a pizza that arrived looking like it had been fished out of a trash can, topped with pepperoni and cheese. I knew the place they’d ordered from and some quick math in my head made it clear that I had paid for basically all the pizza. They assured me that I could just pull the pepperoni off. 

I was about to leave but my date insisted that we could head out in a few minutes to find me something I might actually want to eat. He was cute enough that I‘d agreed to stay just a little longer. A few more guys showed up to buy pot. Then friends of the roommate‘s had shown up with beer and put the stereo on so loud I thought the ceiling might cave in. I ended up leaving at eleven without even saying goodbye. When I got home, I realized that I‘d lost my house keys and had to ask a neighbor to help me break into my apartment.

I told this story to my coworkers to a chorus of loud “nos'' and peals of laughter. Others shared some bad date stories but this one did seem pretty dire. Everyone commiserated and it did make me feel better, like the night hadn’t been a total washout because I had a good story to tell and, as a couple of the girls pointed out, dates I had in the future were likely to seem pretty good in comparison. 

“You should have taken some of the pot!” Shotzi exclaimed to a round of agreement. 

“I wish I’d thought of that.”

It was a few days later that I was prepping Shotzi’s makeup and I noticed that she was a bit quieter than usual. She wasn’t unfriendly but there was something off. 

“You ok?” I asked quietly, sweeping my brush out to give her the perfect cat’s eye flip. 

“Yeah, I’m great.”

She didn’t sound great, or at least not in the enthusiastic way she usually did. I felt my neck getting tense as I tried to lead the conversation for the first time, knowing I wasn’t nearly as good at it as she was. I didn’t want to push her to tell me what was on her mind and at the same time, I felt like my forced smalltalk was probably grating on her nerves. I wanted to be entertaining but I lacked the stories and the flair. 

Finally, when I announced that I was finished, she stood up just a few inches from me. I expected her to tell me to wish her luck, which I always did, but she didn’t move, her bright eyes focused on mine. 

“Do you want to go out some time this weekend?” She asked. 

“Like, hang out? Sure.”

She shook her head. “No. Do you want to go on a date with me?”

I sucked in a sharp breath, not knowing quite what to say. I fell back on the default. “Um, I don’t actually date women.”

“Oh.” She looked sad for the first time and a little surprised. “I’m sorry, I read some singles wrong. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Not at all. I mean, it’s no big deal. I just… you’re gorgeous. I’m just not…”

“It’s fine,” she insisted, extending a hand as if to pat my arm but withdrawing it before she did. “Please, forget I ever said anything.”

Of course, I couldn’t forget that. In fact, I couldn’t even get it out of my head. I’d always dated men. I’d known women who were bisexual and lesbian but none of them had ever expressed an interest in me and I hadn’t found myself attracted to them. But Shotzi was attractive. She was stunning. And the more I thought about that first reaction I’d had to her, the more it seemed similar to the way I’d reacted to men I’d been involved with in the past. I just hadn’t noticed the similarity because she was a woman and I wasn’t into women. 

But maybe I was into one woman. 

She stayed friendly with me, although she didn’t linger as long in the makeup chair regaling me with tales of her rock ‘n’ roll childhood or films that had made her who she was. I hadn’t even realized that she had been lingering before. I just thought we’d been having great conversations. We had been having great conversations. Had I been sending the wrong signals?

I knew that I had marveled at how beautiful and unique she was. I’d gushed, really. But I’d been so floored by her that I felt like I had to let off some steam in the form of compliments or I’d never be able to focus on anything else. That didn’t change after the “asking me out” incident. The fact that I couldn’t release any of my thoughts made it harder to think about anything. I’d see her and I’d spend ten minutes feeling like kind of an idiot, then half an hour thinking about her chatoyant eyes, about the perfect heart shape of her face, or her full lips. 

It was a few weeks later that I caught myself staring at her from the safety of the shadows while she prepared to go out for a match. I’d often stared at her body and I figured that it was because she had the kind of body that every woman wanted to have: perfect curves, toned limbs, smooth skin… Looking at her in that moment, though, I wasn’t so sure about my motives. Was I wishing that I had those taut thighs or was I wishing that I knew what it felt like to drag my lips along them, to feel her shudder at the sensation of my breath on her sensitive flesh? 

Her match was thrilling, as her matches almost always were. She was whipping around the place looking completely out of control, although we all knew she wasn’t. The more danger she put herself in, the more she seemed to glow with internal electricity. It was no wonder that the company was already treating her like a star. You’d have to be dead not to get drawn in by her. But it occurred to me as I watched her that I was more drawn in than others. 

When I saw her come backstage, I retreated to my makeup room and counted down what felt like enough time to allow her to unwind, shower and change before I made my way over to the locker room. 

“Hi there,” I greeted her, a little shyly. 

She glanced up and gave me a big smile while she patted her hair dry. 

“Hey you.”

“So, if the offer is still open, I’d like to say yes.”

She arched her elegant brows and gave me a coy smile. “Now what offer would that be?”

“If you still want to, then, yes, I would like to go on a date with you.”

“Interesting,” she drawled. “What brought about this change of heart?”

“You did.”

She bats her eyes and points theatrically at her chest. “Moi?”

I couldn’t help but smile. The light in her eyes told me she was happy but she still wanted to make me work for it a little. Fair enough.

“Ever since I met you, I’ve found all these things- movies, music, all sorts of stuff- that I just never thought of checking out because I either didn’t know about them or because I just never thought I’d be into them. And the more I think about it, the more I think that I might have made a lot of decisions about what I like just because it was what I saw everyone else doing.”

“Well that’s cool, but I’m not a movie or a book.”

“No. You’re this incredibly cool, funny, exciting, sexy person who I love being around and who has me thinking about all sorts of things I hadn’t considered.”

“Ok. How would you feel about a midnight picnic at an old shack I found near the river?” She grinned. 

“Will you hold my hand if I get scared?”

“I promise.”

I gave a little laugh and stepped closer to her, cupping her cheek in one of my hands and marvelling at how perfectly it fit there. Unable to resist the temptation, I leaned in and pressed my lips softly against hers. And immediately, a delightful shiver ran through every part of my body. 

When we separated, she gave me an almost coquettish smile and laced her arm through mine, steering us out of the locker. 

“You know,” I mused, “you don’t seem really surprised by this.”

“I’m not,” she responded with a wink. “I knew you’d come around.”

#shotzi blackheart imagine #shotzi blackheart fanfic #nxt imagine #nxt fanfiction #wrestling fanfiction #wrestling imagine #wayward wrestle writing

[arolla-pine]

No room to swing a Cat? - p.16

(16) – One for all and all for one

It was almost eight o’clock in the evening and Marinette sat up in her bed uneasy. She was wondering if Cat Noir would come, as usual. Especially, when he had promised to visit her this evening. Of course, she hadn’t been preparing for the meeting, because she was too busy with recovering, however after all the efforts made by her friends to help her she felt almost cured.

Everything had started before noon, when Alya came in Marinette’s bedroom and informed her that she’d been discussing some treatment solutions with her mom.

“Oh, come on! Don’t you have anything more interesting to talk about with your mom but my cold?” Marinette winced.

“Oh, it was a coincidence! My parents were concerned with your unexpected building problems, then they were asking me if you’ve already married Luka…” Alya blurted out and hearing Marinette’s hiss she restrained herself. “Sorry… Anyway… I told my mom that you’d caught a cold, and she immediately went to bathroom and gave me that…” saying that Alya put a little jar with bath salt in her friend’s hand.

“We have plenty of sea salt in the bathroom…” Marinette muttered in surprise.

“It’s not sea salt, girl!” Alya laughed. “Can you imagine that you can find it in mines as well?”

“In mines? Are you sure you don’t have a fever?”

“I didn’t believe either! But it’s a whole story! Listen… You remember that my mom works in the Grand Paris hotel, right? It turned out that a famous model stays there right now. Some Polish famous model. I forgot her name… Anyway… She was so impressed by one of my mom’s dishes that she made the manager introduce her to my mom. And to thank her she gave her a lot of gifts.”

“I don’t see the point.”

“One of those gifts were this jar of salt. That model told my mom that every time she travels around the world she takes it with her, because a bath is wonderful. So, she gave my mom some.”

“I don’t get it…”

“It is salt from a famous mine. And there’s a health resort there. In the mines! Can you believe it?! That salt has some extra features that helps you in treatment. Like you know… You take a bath and make inhalation to cure your respiratory system.”

“It sounds like nonsense…” Marinette was sceptical.

“Do you better options? I’ve heard Adrien’s magical tea already helped you, so why don’t you try another exotic solution?”

“Fine! Let it be… Otherwise you’ll badger me to death…”

Yet, before the bath was ready, Marinette had to listen to Nino who had found some interesting facts about aromatherapy, and to Adrien who mentioned something about a risk of fainting in warm water, and to Alya who asked so many questions about how her friend was feeling, that it was impossible to answer them all.

For a moment Marinette thought that they all would accompany her in the bathroom, so just in case she strongly suggested them staying outside. Before she managed to convince them to leave her alone, it was one o’clock in the afternoon. That made Nino order pizza, Adrien left to prepare some oriental tea and Alya sat down on the floor in the corridor and informed Marinette that she’d be talking with her through the door.

“If you don’t answer, I promise we all will come in there!” she warned her friend.

“Fine!” Marinette hissed. “I’ll be talking! Just let me finally check this miraculous salt!”

Although she was sceptical when it came to the non-sea salt – especially when it had been a gift from a Polish supermodel – she had to admit that taking a saline bath was an exceptional experience. She felt her body warmed up and her respiratory system cleaned that made breathing much easier. All that helped her to relax, yet every time when she wanted to fall into her dreams, Alya reminded her wryly that sleeping in bath is forbidden.

After a quarter Nino came to Alya to inform her that he’d just found that a saline bath shouldn’t last longer than fifteen minutes. Alya told Marinette to finish and stood up.

“Damn, my butt…” she cursed under her breath, and Nino laughed, embracing her.

“Leave your butt alone. I like it…”

“It hurts after sitting on the floor…”

“Do you want a massage?” he murmured in her ear.

“Get a room!” Marinette yelled through the door. “I’m leaving in a minute and I don’t want to see you making out!”

“We’re home!” the couple replied and started giggling.

“Get a room!” Adrien said at the other end of a corridor. “My eyes! Can I un-see it?!”

“Yeah, you’d think you’re so innocent, dude…” Nino muttered and the rest laughed out loud.

“I’m coming!” Marinette warned. “I hope you’re clothed?”

Just in case she closed her eyes. When her friends saw her they burst out laugh again. She joined them soon, thinking by the way that it was wonderful to have such soulmates.

“I’ll take you to your room, before they start making out again…” Adrien said, embracing her and leading her to her bedroom. “Just don’t look there, because you’re eyes will hurt you for a week.”

“I thought you got used to that, if you’ve been living with them for so long…” Marinette chuckled, trying to ignore noises behind that clearly meant that Alya and Nino continued their making out session.

“You might as well think that they don’t do it so often because they’ve been living together for so long…” Adrien replied. “So? Are you feeling better after your special bath?” he changed the subject.

“That was wonderful, indeed! And I start breathing easily again. I thought it was nonsense, but that inhalation really works…”

“Life is unpredicted sometimes…” he whispered with a smile. “Go to bed. I’ll bring you some tea.”

“Thanks…”

Immediately she dived into her bedding with pleasure. She felt so comfortable, warm and delightful, that she didn’t want to leave that place. Not until Alya ran into her room, buttoning up her blouse in a rush. Marinette rolled her eyes.

“Seriously?” she asked.

“What can I say? Nino is a hot stuff! I can’t resist!” Alya chuckled.

“You’re crazy… I hope I won’t regret that I live with you two…”

“I’m curious what you’ll say when you start making out with Adrien and you don’t care who can see you then…”

“I’m not going to make out with Adrien!” Marinette protested, blushing terribly.

“OK. With Cat Noir then.” Alya shrugged, and a blush on her friend’s face only darkened. But she didn’t denied. “I’ve come to ask you if you’re joining us there, or should I bring you some pizza here?”

“I’d prefer to eat here.” Marinette admitted. “But… If you aren’t afraid to catch a cold from me, maybe you’ll join me here instead? I feel lonely a bit…”

“Sure, girl! I’ll tell boys!”

After a while she came back with three mugs, and Nino brought two pizzas that he left on the desk. The last was Adrien who carried a jug of his magical tea. He was smiling, but he couldn’t tell them what was the reason of his smile. He couldn’t confess that he’d heard the girls’ talk – especially the part when Marinette hadn’t denied to Alya’s suggestions.

They sat down comfortably – Adrien at the desk, next to Marinette, Nino sank into an armchair immediately pinned down by his girlfriend.

“Does it mean I have to serve you?” the blond asked in surprise.

“You’re the one who chose your seat.” His friend laughed.

“He wanted to be close to his ill girl…” Alya added with a malicious smile.

“Al���” Marinette muttered warningly.

“I’m just curious what did you do yesterday when we left you here all by yourselves…”

“I’m sick, remember? Besides, I was sleeping almost all day long. What are you imagining again?”

“I’m not imagining anything. But don’t think I didn’t see how Adrien embraced you a while ago…”

“I thought you were busy with Nino…” Marinette answered back, glancing at Adrien who was sitting quiet and embarrassed. “He didn’t want me to fall down again, that’s all.”

“Yeah, sure…” Alya snorted.

“Focus on your plate before it’s too late…” Nino cut in, just to change the subject. He felt pity for Adrien, who was targeted by Alya. Men’s friendship meant some solidarity.

“I suspect a collusion…” Alya winced.

“Smells like salami? Or vegetables?” Nino joked and kissed her earlobe.

“You’ll pay for that!”

“Can’t wait…”

“Are you sure you’re hungry?” Marinette asked and added quickly: “I mean for a pizza! Not for making out again!”

“Of course, we’re hungry!” Alya laughed. “Not only for a pizza… But we need to eat something to have energy for…”

“I don’t want to hear that!” Marinette cried and covered her ears.

“Save your voice, Mari.” Alya replied. “You should take care of your throat.”

“How are you feeling?” Adrien continued the subject. “Do you think you can go for the classes tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure yet. But there’s so much time before tomorrow. Maybe I’ll take a nap? Sleeping really helps.”

“You sleep so much…” he blurted out, and she glanced at him surprised. Before she managed to comment it, he added quickly: “But it’s good. You’ll recover sooner.”

“Yeah…” Marinette murmured.

She felt lost a bit and she preferred to focus on simple things – like eating. Yet, her brain re-processed Cat Noir’s visit yesterday and his words so similar to Adrien’s. Every attempt of explaining that coincidence in a logic way ended up the same – with a headache. Finally, exhausted by trying to solve a puzzle, warmed up with a bath and hot tea, and filled in with a delicious pizza, the girl just fell asleep with a plate in her hand. She didn’t feel when someone took the dishes from her palm nor didn’t hear her friends cleaning up and leaving her bedroom.

When she woke up a few hours later she noticed that her room looked as if there had been no one in the afternoon. She took a glance at the clock. It was about eight p.m. She sat up and thought about Cat Noir, when she heard him in the flesh:

“Good evening, Purrincess. Feeling better?”

Of course, he was sitting on the windowsill smiling at her.

—

No room to swing a Cat? p.15  <-  Previous part |  Next part  ->  No room to swing a Cat? p.17

Start reading from the beginning

#No room to swing a Cat? #AUstory #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Adrien Agreste #Alya Cesaire #Nino Lahiffe #fanfiction #miraculous ladybug #Cat Noir

[littleredroseonthevalley]

An Opera on Separation - Chapter 11

Prologue | Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | CH. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17 | Ch. 18 |

Summary: We take a step back to Emily’s junior year. After a near-miss on what could be a serious car accident, the young reporter meets Nathan Sterling on a human-interest story. But is he as nice as he appears?

Rating: M -  Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language.

Mention of rape. Reader discretion is highly advised.

Words: 1587

Notes: Ahoy-hoy, readership. So, flashback chapters. I’m addicted to them, sue me. However, I do feel that I needed to write one (and my one, I mean some) to properly clarify what’s changed on this AU.

First things first, the accident never happens. Therefore, Nathan’s never ellected as president, since Sebastian said only tried and true inner-circle members are ever ellected.

Second, on the same line as first, Beau’s president of Alpha Theta Mu. As he is one sick little shit, he decides to deviate a little from the pranking tradition of the group. No poor-taste pranks in this one. Not sure which one’s worse.

Third, no life-ruining award. Since pranking is no longer ATM’s focus, there is no longer a point of having that contest for ruining Emily’s life, and as consequence, no pranks on the suitemates. That do not mean they’ll have a sunshine-and-rainbows year.

But you’ll see that in time. For now, enjoy.

How Do You Do?

Emily and her friends were overjoyed. They had, just that afternoon, convinced Hartfeld’s City Council to declare their house an historical landmark, defeating Dorian Delacroix’s big talk and big money.

They hosted a party to celebrate their success at the old house. The last, since they would have to move out come Summer. A few minutes after midnight, they had decided to go over to a nice pizza place the next town over.

“Hey, Tyler!” Chris shouts from the living room, as they were putting on coats to take on the off-season cold weather outside. “Can I ride with you guys? I wanted to talk to you about some stuff for the student council.”

“Sorry, Chris!” Emily responds from the doorway. “I’m already riding with them. Your business talk will have to wait.”

He smirked and said: “No prob. Tomorrow’s probably better anyways.”

“C’mon, there’s a spot on my car.” Zack said, pulling the jock over to his vehicle.

The redhead, the Asian boy and his girlfriend walked over to the car and jumped in.

“Sorry if it’s a little cramped.” He apologizes to the redhead. “I’ve been meaning to clean up the car but never seem to get around to do it.”

“No sweat.” She dismissed and talked amenities with Abbie.

A few minutes into their journey, Tyler stops at a traffic light. It was red for him, and so they waited patiently. When it turned green, he slowly lifted his foot from the gearing pedal and placed it on the gas pedal.

The young man was still a novice driver, so he was very cautious not to let the engine choke. Unlucky him having a manual shifting gear.

As they take off, a brilliant, white light hit them on the face. Emily screams desperately, while Tyler hit the breaks hard. All Abbie could do was instinctively trying to protect herself by placing her hands over her eyes.

The car spun around and around its own axis for what seems a lifetime, before hitting its trunk on a pole on the other side of the street.

For a second, everything is still and silent. Emily wonders if she died or lost her conscience. She was afraid to speak, or to move. If she stood exactly at that spot, she could pretend nothing happen.

But the soft peace was soon broken by the wailing cries of Abbie. Soon, her world was flooded with her friends and passersby shouting and calling names and telling them to be calm.

Hours later, at the hospital, the doctors told them they had sustained only but a few light injuries and that they were very lucky, indeed.

Emily couldn’t help but feel she had saved herself from a terrible, terrible fate, indeed.

A few weeks into the new school year, Reyna, the campus newspaper editor, had requested of Emily a story on the charitable work of Alpha Theta Mu, a traditional Greek life organization at Hartfeld. The redhead, herself, had never heard of them, but the other girl had made clear they were big on campus.

Emily had the distinct impression they were big enough to buy a space on their next issue, but she wasn’t about to expose her friend like that. Besides, the piece seemed easy enough, belonging on the variety section and all.

Not expecting much of it, she walked over to the ATM clubhouse and gingerly knocked on the door. A few seconds later and a tall, muscular, blond man answers with a welcoming smile.

“Hello, welcome to Alpha Theta Mu!” He said, cheerful. “I’m Nathan Sterling, the vice-president of this fratority, and you’re Emily Harper, right?”

The guy had done some research. “Yes, that’s right. So nice to meet you.” She smiled and shook his hand.

“Please, come in.” He let her inside and shut the door. “I am sorry for the mess. We hosted a party last night and things got a little out of hand. Would you like to talk over lunch? I’m having lobster.”

“Oh, no, I don’t eat lobster.” The girl responds, a little unnerved with the thought. “I couldn’t do that to Gerald.”

“Gerald?” He narrows his eyes in confusion.

“My pet lobster.” She provides. “And, anyways, I already ate, thank you very much.”

“I’ve never heard of someone who kept a lobster for a pet.” Laughing, he insists: “How about dessert, then? You can’t say no to tiramisu.”

“Something sweet does sound appetizing, thank you.” The redhead says and follows the guy into the dining room. Between bites of the heavenly dessert, she continues: “Pardon my bluntness, but where’s Beau Han? I’ve been told I’d interview him.”

“Oh, the president will not be available for today’s interview. We were hoping you could interview me, instead.” He shot a charming smile, and the girl found herself smiling back.

“Well, if you don’t mind, I don’t, either.” She responds and picks up her small notebook. “May we start with the questions?”

“By all means.” He motioned for her to go on.

She clicked her pen. “First, I need your full name and position.”

“I have much too many middle names, you may credit to Nathan Sterling, Vice-President of Alpha Theta Mu.” He shot her a winning smile.

“You’re the boss.” She nods. “How long have you been a part of ATM?”

“Most of our pledges are sophomore. I was no exception.” The boy recapitulated his career at the fratority in his mind. “It’s been a year last September.”

“Oh, it hasn’t been long!” She responded, surprised. “All other fraternities’ presidents I know have two or three years of enrollment.”

“Here at ATM we prefer juniors at the leading positions.” The blond explains. “College experience and available time. It greatly increases the odds of finding the perfect candidate, don’t you think?”

They glossed over the commonplace questions on such a story, like overall history, motivation for community service, enrollment and their plans for the year.

After the meal, Nathan offered a tour through the clubhouse, which Emily heartily agreed. The place was awfully empty, the other Alphas were at classes or other commitments, according to the blond man.

Regardless, she was amazed with the lavishness of the clubhouse. Every room was carefully designed and decorated, not to mention spacious and luxurious. Not at all what one could expect out of a dorm for college students.

“Do you all live here?” She questions, rather suddenly.

The fair-haired shook his head. “No, most of us, myself included, live at the dorms or off-campus. There’s not enough rooms for us all, and between you and me, it’s relieving knowing that, by the end of the day, I’m going back to my place and be alone for a while.”

“I know what you mean.” Emily responds, with the obligatory smile and nod. “I mean, not exactly, I always had a ton of roommates, but I can imagine how comforting ‘me time’ can be.”

“You got roommates? Anyone I might know personally?” He inquires, his eyes glinting in curiosity.

“Probably. I live with two people, Zack and Becca.” She provides. “Becca’s the former president of Kappa Phi Sigma, and Zack is working with Connecticut Historical Society on the restauration of a number of old buildings in the city.”

“Becca? As in Rebecca Davenport?” Nathan asks, and upon confirmation he laughs. “We’re acquainted. Her father and mine were Alphas together back in the day. I assume she’s still… opinionated?”

“Becca’s a tough cookie to crack, I give you that.” The redhead agrees, nodding and giggling. “But she’s a great friend to have, after you get over all the brashness.”

“I’ll take your word for it. After she pushed me off a toy horse on our elementary school’s playground back on first grade, I just accepted I’d remain on her bad side forever.” He shrugs off the memory.

They continue the tour through the house, talking amicably.

The Sun shone through the window on a Spring Monday morning at Emily’s bedroom.

It was her final month as a junior, and waking every morning felt like a blessing to the young redhead. Her English major classes have been a treat all year, her newspaper gig was going great too. She had two best friends she cherished very much and who lived with her on a nice apartment on the right side of town.

And, last but certainly not least, she had a handsome, charismatic and nice boyfriend whom she loved and was loved in return. Nathan was certainly everything anyone could ask out of a boyfriend, being comprehensive, attentive and so good in bed.

There was no reason why Emily wouldn’t wake up every day smiling.

While she was brushing her teeth to get ready for yet another day, a screech alarmed her. “Emily! Zack! Come to the living room right now!” Becca shouted.

Having the blonde screaming was nothing new, but that morning, the call was less bossy and more distressed, what motivated them to immediate response.

Over there, Becca stood impassively in the middle of the room, eyes fixated on the television and hand over her mouth.

“Becca!” Zack asks, concerned. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Speechlessly, she points over to the television, where the reporter spoke live from the Alpha Theta Mu clubhouse. The newscast was already finishing the piece, but the lead message on the bottom of the screen was ominous enough.

“Sex scandal hits Greek Life organization.”

“They raped Claire.” Becca manages to let out. “They raped her and then they bashed her head against the floor.”

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An Opera on Separation - Masterlist

#an opera on separation #the junior #nathan sterling #becca davenport

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Secret Wars chapter 5: Enter Thanos (originally posted on February 5, 2018)

AN: And so, here we are everybody. The final chapter of the first part of what might be considered one of my magnum opuses. I’ve certainly had a blast writing this so here we go. Let the end of the cosmos begin.

“Anything yet guys?” Connie asked her fellow Crystal Avengers keeping an eye out for their friends. “Nothing yet Connie!” Wasp called from high above as she searched the skies with Lapis and Vision. “I can confirm, our companions haven’t returned yet.” the synthezoid added. “Way to state the obvious Vis.” Lapis replied.

“You were right girl, this town’s food is amazing!” Wolverine exclaimed holding a few fry bits on one of his claws like a kebab. “Never really expected you of all people to act like this Wolvie. But then again, I’m a guy who was bitten by a radioactive spider hanging out in a town protected by magical rock people.” Spider-Man said. “Hey guys, I think we can see something!” Peridot shouted pointing at a strange dark shape in the sky. “You think it could be?”

“Steven!” they all cried out as the shape came into view, revealing itself to be the spaceship belonging to the Guardians of the Galaxy. Landing on the sand, the Crystal Gems, Avengers and Guardians emerged looking very damaged from their fight with Mephisto, both physically and emotionally. The moment Steven’s foot touched the grainy surface below him for the first time in a long while, he was greeted by Connie, Lapis and Peridot all hugging him. “Oh, hey guys.” he said rather flatly. “Steven, are you all right?” Peridot worried. “Pink boy not feeling good.” Hulk stated. “Pink boy’s friends should leave pink boy alone for a bit.”

“WHOA! Are you that Hulk creature the mutant talked about?!” the little green Gem gasped in amazement. “I totally won that fight!” Logan shouted hotly. “Yes, yes I am.” the strongest there is confirmed with a cocky grin before regressing himself back to Bruce Banner. “And I’m also a genius scientist to boot.”

“He-hey, P-dot, Tidal!” Rocket shouted fistbumping Peridot before Groot came in and hugged the three incredibly tight. “I am Groot!” the flora colossus cried shaking them in his wooden arms. The mood suddenly lightened up and everyone was cheerfully meeting each other once again. All except Thor. He was still mulling over their recent fight with the demon prince, about how he was now working for Thanos and had known about the Mind Stone. The stress proved far too great on the thunder god before he interrupted the camaraderie with a loud yell of “THANOS IS COMING!”

The scene went deadly quiet once more as they all turned to the prince of Asgard. “I-is something wrong Thor?” Spidey wondered. “Didn’t you hear me, Thanos has five Infinity Stones and is coming here to Earth for the Mind Stone!” Thor explained pointing his hammer to the ground for added emphasis. The group were stunned at the god’s explanation, Lapis especially as she simply mumbled under her breath, “Thanos.”

“What shall we do?” Doctor Strange wondered. “I say we all stay here and take him on ourselves!” Nebula declared. “That madman has gone on far enough and mark my words, he will pay!” she snarled. “Hey, chill out Nebula! We can’t go too far ahead!” Steven exclaimed trying to calm her down. “Steven’s right, we must evacuate this town so that Thanos can’t hurt any of its people.” Cap stated. “I’m going to need someone to warn the mayor of the invasion and organize an escape route somewhere far away from here.”

“I’ll go. I came here before all of you on some business of my own, so it makes sense that I tell ‘em.” Iron Man stated flying off toward Beach City. “Right. Peter, Hank Janet, you lead the townspeople out of here. Carol, T'Challa, Strange, you’re staying with us. And the rest of you return to base.” Steve commanded. “Wait, we have to leave?! But why?” Wolverine complained. “Because we won’t be important to the story from here on out.” She-Hulk answered. “Okay then.”

Flying above the small town, the Armored Avenger landed in front of city hall and shed his metallic suit to keep up appearances. “I’m here to see the mayor of this town!” he announced shoving open the doors. “Mister, we know you have important business but can you not open the doors like that?!” one of the secret service agents present said cornering him. “Stand down boys, he obviously wants to see me.” a short, elderly woman in a green suit stated making herself known. “Mayor Nanefua Pizza Mr. Stark, at your service.”

“Tony Stark madame mayor.” Stark greeted the mayor. “Listen, my teammates and I compel you to organize an evacuation plan for a giant purple spaceman with a golden baseball glove is coming down to kill us all!” he urged. “Wow, that is certainly pretty crazy Mr. Stark, but I’ll be sure to get on it!”

Within a few hours, Beach City was nearly empty, its civilians already preparing to leave. “Keep it going everyone, Thanos should be arriving soon so you should all try not to die!” Hawkeye said leading them all away. “So let me guess this straight, some moonman is coming for Earth because he wants some priceless jewels to conquer the galaxy?” Lars Barriga exclaimed as his parents tried to insert the Off Colors into a large moving truck. “Basically, yes!” Steven reiterated the pink teen’s statement. “And if we don’t stop him-”

“Then the universe is seriously janked.” Garnet finished for him. “Seriously Garnet, we need to make you eat soap at this point!” Amethyst said. “Y'know, when I came back to Earth after you & Connie had that space adventure, I did not expect this!” Lars said. “But then again, I died and came back to life on an alien planet, so what do I have to say?”

“Yeah speaking of which, are you sure you’re that donut boy Groot met when we first came here?” Rocket said. “Y'know, come to think of it you do seem familiar.” the former donut boy stated looking at Groot. “I am Groot.” the tree alien said. “I am Lars.”

“Okay, let’s stop this before it gets too far again.” Rocket said breaking the two up. “Now then, since everybody’s leaving, I think you and Connie should come with them.” he said to Steven. “What, but why?!” the boy cried.

“It’s for your own safety Steven.” Pearl stated. “We know you and Connie are both fairly powerful on your own, but Thanos is another five levels once he gets all the Infinity Stones!” she fretted. “They’re all right Steven, who knows what this Thanos guy can do.” Connie affirmed. “Indeed, he could wipe out half of all life in the universe with just a snap of his fingers!” Thor added. “And the same goes for you Lapis and Peridot.”

“Us too? But we can fight!” Peridot protested. “I’ve been watching a few old kung-fu movies and actually picked up some moves along the way!” She then began demonstrating said moves to the heroes, despite being rather clumsy in doing so and capping off with a crane stance.

“I admire both your spirit, and your budding martial arts skills, but I fear whatever powers you have won’t be enough against a cosmic warlord bent on dominating all creation.” Cap stated. “The captain is right guys, Thanos is not one to be messed with.” Lapis stated putting a hand on her barn mate’s shoulder. “I should know because I-” She immediately stopped herself from speaking any longer. “Goodbye.” Picking up Peridot and Pumpkin, Lapis sprouted her wings and soared away from Beach City.

“What’s her problem? She looked like she was gonna say she knows Thanos or something.” Star-Lord quipped. “That doesn’t matter, we should get you two to your parents post-haste kids.” Iron Man finally stated. “We are truly sorry Steven, but it’s for your own good.” Pearl said before hugging her young ward and the other Crystal Gems joined in. “We’ll stop Thanos and bring everyone home.” Garnet stated. “Yeah, we’re gonna kick his ass!” Amethyst exclaimed.

“Well, guess this is goodbye everyone. Good luck.” Connie said before finally being led away by Stark.

“Okay gang, everybody’s not present and accounted for.” Yondu confirmed gazing upon the deserted town. “In fact, why do they call it Beach City when the number of people living here doesn’t make it a city?!”

“Same reason why evil threatens the universe.” Clint answered. “Now come on, we gotta prep for Thanos.” He led the space pirate back to the temple where the others would be waiting for them. “How’s everything?” Natasha asked. “All cleared out babe, not a soul in sight.” her archer partner stated. “I sincerely hope Steven is all right. This reminds me of when Jasper invaded and he fled with the rest of the citizens.” Pearl said. “At least he has one of your own to watch over him.”

“Uh guys, I hate to break up the ambiance,” Rocket stuttered in fear. “but I think that giant spaceship about to land in front of us may belong to a certain someone.” The heroes all raced outside to discover a titanic aircraft easily dwarfing Beach City in size right over their heads. They immediately knew who this ship belonged to as they all prepared for battle. “It is time.” Black Panther declared.

Meanwhile in a highway far from town, the citizens of the coastline village were busy making their escape from the wrath of the Mad Titan. All it took was one look at his warship from the rear-view mirror for Greg to get a good idea of what his late wife’s companions were up against this time. “Sheesh, whoever this Thanos guy is sure doesn’t mess around!”

His son however was relatively quiet the entire drive. He was too busy musing over their encounter with Mephisto during their space adventure. According to him, he had been involved in the Rebellion as well. But who did he fight for? He most certainly wouldn’t side with Rose but he’s not sure if the Diamonds would be that comfortable with him. Would that mean Thanos had his part to play in it. After a few minutes of contemplation, Greg broke the silence. “Anything all right Schtu-ball?”

“I’m fine Dad, I’ve just been thinking lately.” Steven replied. “Did Mom ever tell you about anything related to the Infinity Stones?” he asked his father. “No, as usual. In fact, unlike all the other messy stuff of that war, she must really want to keep that under wraps.” Greg answered. “But whatever happened, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” he assured his son. “Yeah but I’ve heard Thanos can destroy anyone given the chance, the Gems have a good reason for making me flee again! Hopefully there’s someone that can help me out here.”

“Did someone call for some emotional support?!” Spider-Man suddenly exclaimed peeping into the front window of Greg’s van. The two were immediately startled and nearly swerved into another car before regaining their composure. “Oh, you must be that spider guy.” Greg stated. “What was your name again? Scarlet Arachnid, Spinneret, Silk, Web Boy…”

“Spider-Man, thank you very much.” the spectacular webslinger corrected the former rock star. “Now as I was saying, did someone call for some emotional support?” he asked cheerfully. “I did!” Steven shouted raising his hand. “I can stop so you can get in if you want sir.” Greg offered. “Sure thing, but I prefer to web-swing.”

Latching onto the roof of another car, Peter used his web-shooters to pull open the back door and jumped right in, closing behind him. “And he sticks the landing!” he shouted before imitating a crowd cheering for him. “Yeah, whoo, go Spider-Man, do a flip!” Greg just chuckled still keeping his eyes on the road. “Wow Spidey, that was really cool!” Steven exclaimed. “Makes me wish I was as cool as you.”

“Aw don’t say that. You’re pretty cool the way you are.” Peter said taking off his mask to wipe himself off after the earlier landing. “I mean c'mon, you’re the son of an alien warrior lady who helped protect the Earth thousands of years ago! You still got a lot to learn kid. After all, with great power comes great responsibility.”

“Where did you learn that?” the boy wondered. “Someone important to me that I lost too, just like the Gems.” Spidey answered thinking back to his beloved late Uncle Ben. “So what do you say kid, wanna save the world?” he offered reaching his hand out. “Sure!”

“Now hold on just a second!” Ant-Man suddenly appeared in front of the two young men. “Steven, I know you have a legacy to uphold, but Thanos is just an absolute beast! With all six Infinity Stones, he could practically become God!” the scientist cautioned Steven.

“Oh lighten up Hank, he just wants to help.” Wasp stated growing into view as well. “How many more unexpected passengers can I get! Who’s next, Ghost Rider?” Greg joked. He then finally stopped the van and got out with the three heroes & his son, whom he hugged goodbye. “Be careful out there little guy, we’re all counting on you.”

“I’ll be okay Dad. I love you.” Steven said his farewells before jumping up on the arachnid Avenger’s back. “You ready kid?” he asked his young fan. “Wait, we should make a quick stop first. I know a few others who need a pep talk.” He turned on a GPS on his phone and began scoping the countryside scene before pointing to a building in this distance. “Let’s swing thataway!” he ordered. “Roger roger squirt!”

The two swung off into the distance leaving the winsomely astonishing duo and the car wash owner behind. “Steven is right, those Gems aren’t going to last long without a leader.” Pym declared shrinking down and hopping on the back of a winged ant. “Right, let’s fly!” Jan replied miniaturizing as well and chasing her husband.

The hour has finally come.

Thanos has arrived.

The Avengers, Crystal Gems and Guardians of the Galaxy stood their ground before the spaceship, preparing for whatever threat would come their way. The bay door opened revealing not the Mad Titan, but instead his minions the Black Order.

At the very center was their leader Corvus Glaive, a grey-skinned alien dressed in all black and carrying his namesake weapon. By his side was Proxima Midnight, a beautiful blue-tinted woman bearing a golden trident.

Behind them were Ebony Maw, a rather wormy looking fellow with a silver tongue, Black Dwarf, the brute of the team who’s size & strength could compare with the Hulk’s and finally Supergiant, a deranged wraith who can control gravity. The five aliens looked down upon their opponents with cocky grins decorating their features until Corvus finally spoke. “Well, it seems these Avengers have made some new allies.” he declared. “Quite familiar looking ones in fact.”

“Yes indeed, it’s been quite a while since we heard from the Crystal Gems. I was convinced they were all shattered or corrupted.” Ebony added. “Can’t wait to finish what the Diamonds tried to start.” Dwarf threatened bearing both his axe and his mace.

The heroes simply glared furiously at the Order, giving no answer to their boasting. “What is the matter? No words, just going to skip straight to the action?” Proxima wondered. Just then, Garnet finally spoke up. “Leave this planet immediately Black Order, and tell Thanos we’re waiting for him!”

“About time, all this abuse of the silent treatment was getting me bored!” Supergiant exclaimed with a sadistic grin. “Now then, let us get started!” She telekinetically summoned a legion of four-armed reptilian beasts that towered over the group, snarling at them. “Outriders!” Captain America exclaimed. “Get ready everyone, we’re in for the fight of our lives.”

The ultimate battle for the fate of Earth has finally begun. If the alliance between the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, the Crystal Gems and the lovable a-holes claimed victory, peace would return and the Infinity Stones would be left untouched by evil once more. But if Thanos won, it would mean the end of the universe.

It was a quiet night at the barn that Lapis Lazuli and Peridot had called their home away from Homeworld. It was originally the Crystal Gems’ base of operations while dealing with the Cluster and since became a new living space for the two Gems.

However, ever since Lapis had returned to Earth after fleeing to avoid another Gem war, things had become a bit different. Like for example, Peridot currently laid on a hay bale reminiscing about the Crystal Temps’ battle with the leader of AIM known as MODOK, his speech about she was there to provide comic relief instead of being useful to the Crystal Gems continuing to echo through her head.

“Well it’s because despite being a member of the Crystal Gems, you are pretty much useless to them! Only being there to provide comic relief. Join me and I shall help you learn your true potential!” he spoke in her thoughts. Looking once again at her miniscule form in a mirror, she sighed miserably and grumbled to herself. “Guess he was right. I really am useless to them.”

“Is something wrong Peri?” Lapis wondered flying to her side with Pumpkin in her arms. “It’s just that that Mo-whatever guy told me about how useless I was to Steven and the Gems. Now that we’ve been ordered to stay at the barn while they fight that Thanos guy, it makes me think that we really are there to provide comic relief.” the little green technician moped before her blue roommate got down on her knees and hugged her. “It’s okay Peridot, you aren’t useless. I mean, you helped save the Earth and got me adjusted to it! What matters now is that we should just wait until the time is right for us to become full on Crystal Gems.”

“And I seriously can’t wait for that day!” Steven called as Spider-Man touched down in front of the barn with Ant-Man and Wasp following behind. “Hey girls, how’s it hanging?” the web-slinger greeted them. “Is this really your home because I kind of expected something a bit more futuristic.”

“Oh it is alright spider-friend. This barn may have termites and a large crack in the ground, but it’s the best we can get!” Peridot beamed at the young man. “We usually spend our days here making meep morps, or what you humans might call art, and watching Camp Pining Hearts.” Lapis added. “Camp Pining Hearts? My Aunt May and I love that show!” Peter exclaimed. “Except for season 5.”

“I know, right!” Steven & Peridot exclaimed in unison before laughing. “I know all of us here are fans of that show, but let’s get to the important topic here: saving the world.” Hank stated. “Yeah, if we don’t race to Beach City soon, Thanos could kill us all!” Jan added, much to the barn Gems’ shock. “Wait, we’re actually going to fight him?!” Lapis yelled. “But that could lead to another war, and I don’t want to get involved in one.”

“C'mon Lapis, we have to do this together! Steven and the Gems need us!” Peridot tried to convince her to change her mind about battling the conqueror. “Earth is our home now. Isn’t it worth fighting for?” It took some time for the ocean Gem to think about this. On one hand, Thanos is indeed a force to be reckoned with and could certainly annihilate them if they’re not careful. But on the other hand, he could destroy the planet that they’ve decided to call home. She finally turned around and made her decision. “I’ll fight.”

“Great, now let’s head back to the town and help the others!” Hank declared mounting his winged ant again. “Wait, first I gotta make a call.” Steven decided pulling out his phone to talk to Connie.

“Hey Steven, are you somewhere safe yet?” she asked. “That’s why I called you Con. I’m gonna fight Thanos.” he declared. “What? Hold on, maybe I can get my parents to drive me to your location! Where are you?” Connie cried. “No, I don’t want you getting involved. You may be pretty powerful on your own, but deep down you’re just a human. I’m so sorry.” Steven began to cry as he hanged up on his best friend.

“It’s okay Steven, you’re doing the right thing just like what your mom would’ve done.” Peter dried his tears. “Thanks Spidey, let’s go.” Steven got up on the teen hero’s back again and left the barn, this time with Lapis and Peridot by their side. Pumpkin was left behind, but little did the vegetable canine know its home was in serious peril as a portal opened behind the barn.

“It seems you’ve gotten weaker since we’ve last met Garnet.” Corvus declared pinning the fusion to the ground with his glaive while the Outriders outmatched the others. “Guess without your beloved savior to guide you, you’ve also become more foolish.”

“We may not have Rose Quartz around, but we’re still capable of defending Earth!” Garnet declared gripping the blade and tossing Glaive into the sand. “Nice going there Garnet, keep him down!” Rocket cheered dismembering a few Outrider arms. “At this rate, we shall emerge victorious!” T'Challa boasted. “Is that so king of Wakanda?”

A new individual has shown himself, this time being the man himself. The Mad Titan, the nihilistic would-be significant other of Death. His purple skin, furrowed chin, blue & gold armor and his piercing red eyes looking down upon them as he sat in his throne were unmistakably recognizable.

Thanos.

“Well well well, what do we have here?” he wondered in a mocking tone raising his left hand to reveal none other than the infamous Infinity Gauntlet, containing five of the Infinity Stones. “Thanos!” Pearl cried readying her spear.

“The Crystal Gems. We meet again at last.” Thanos stated descending from his throne with both his arms out, almost like some holy figure. Touching down on the sand beneath them, he took a moment to examine the carnage that once was his army of Outriders. “And it seems not much has changed about you since the Rebellion. Now who do I destroy first?”

He prepared an energy blast from his left hand and aimed it at each of the heroes, deciding on which one of them to eliminate. “How about you be the first to die my dear Garnet?” Thanos threatened before suddenly, his face was suddenly covered in spider webs. “WHAT?!” he shouted tearing the silk off his face. “Ain’t nobody going to die here Thanos!” Steven cried as he, Spider-Man, Lapis, Peridot, Ant-Man and the Wasp charged into battle. “Ah, the cannon fodder has arrived.” the Mad Titan smirked. “I do love a moving target.”

“Wait milord!” Ebony Maw halted his master before he could do any more harm. “I must ask you, does that terraformer with them seem familiar to you?” he asked. “Now that you think about it, she does look like the one deployed during the Rebellion.” Thanos stated, much to the shock of the other heroes. “Greetings wayward Lazuli of Blue Diamond.”

“Wait, you know Thanos?!” Steven gasped as the ragtag group touched down next to their compatriots. “Yes indeed small child, my minions remember her quite fondly, Ebony and Dwarf especially.” Thanos answered. “It’s true, I have met them when I was sent to Earth.” Lapis began to reminisce on that fateful day.

The Rebellion was in full swing when Lapis Lazuli, a terraformer sent by Blue Diamond to form new Kindergartens on Earth, was thrust in the middle of it. She tried her best to avoid the carnage, the Gem shards raining everywhere and the soldiers fighting for their lives until she found a safe spot behind a lone tree.

She figured she would stay there until most of the fighting stopped until she bumped into a monster that towered over her. A monster with orange reptilian skin, empty yellow eyes, a mouth full of sharp fangs and dual-wielding both a stone mace & an axe.

“Where are you going puny water witch?” he snarled, causing her to back away into another being with grey skin, chalk white hair, ornate black & white robes with gold trim and devilish blue eyes that had a faint glow in them. “Are you lost little one, afraid perhaps?” this other creature purred. “I’m not lost, I was only supposed to make a quick visit before all this happened!” Lapis cried not being able to comprehend her current situation. “Who even are you two anyway?!”

“Ah yes, apologies for being so uncouth.” the grey alien bowed gracefully toward the ocean Gem. “I am Ebony Maw of the Black Order, and this is my companion Black Dwarf.” he, now calling himself Ebony Maw, introduced himself and the larger alien. “We are fighting in this war for our lord and master Thanos, who wishes to destroy both the Great Diamond Authority & the rebels led by Rose Quartz to conquer all that lives in this universe.” Black Dwarf stated. “See that shadow over there, that is he.”

He pointed toward their master in the distance, laughing maniacally as he ended the lives of all Gems, Crystal and Homeworld alike, that dared challenge him. The only one that was able to match the Mad Titan were a Rose Quartz and her terrifying Pearl. “Is that really your master?!” Lapis gasped as she watched the pink warrior face Thanos in battle. “Indeed he is terraformer.” Ebony commented silently rooting for his boss. “Speaking of which, do you ever feel like you feel dissatisfied with your current position?”

“What?! No, as a high-ranking member of Blue Diamond’s court I’m basically treated like royalty! I’m like my Diamond’s princess!” Lapis shouted trying to escape from the two.

“But that’s the thing, when all Gems are born they are ordered to do one meaningless task for the rest of their days. Does that seem boring to you?” Maw wondered getting uncomfortably close to her. “Yes, when working under Thanos we get to murder who we want, how we want and when we want!” Dwarf added with a bloodthirsty grin. “So what do you say little Lazuli, are you ready to earn your freedom?”

Lapis was now faced with a rather hefty offer. If she joined this Thanos they spoke so highly of, she could live her own free life and do whatever she should, but if she didn’t she would be as good as dead. But looking at Thanos, she would rather be shattered than join such a psychopath. Finally, with her eyes darkened, she made her decision. “I choose…” she began. “TO DIE!”

“I thought you would say that.” Ebony Maw stated motioning his bodyguard to his side with a snap of his fingers. “Black Dwarf, shatter her.” he commanded. “With pleasure.” Black Dwarf accepted preparing his weapons. He barreled toward the terraformer preparing to strike before she smacked him silly with a pair of water fists around her arms. “Leave me alone!” she screamed fighting back.

The two proceeded to duke it out while Ebony calmly spectated. Black Dwarf nearly came close to shattering Lapis and vice versa with Lapis against Dwarf. Eventually she dealt the finishing blow with a tsunami that washed the alien away as he vowed revenge. “Very well then. We shall meet again someday Lapis Lazuli, and then you will join us.” the minion of Thanos gave one last warning before retreating into a portal.

Lapis took a deep breath of relief after the fact. With that, she could be able to fly away from this planet as fast as she can before she felt a sudden sharp pain in her back as a Bismuth punched her in the gemstone. She had no time to react before her physical form fell apart and retreated back into her gem.

“So that’s why you shut your trap when talking about him.” Rocket said. “Guess I was right!” Star-Lord replied. “Looking back on the old days is fine and all, but we still got Thanos to deal with!” Captain Marvel exclaimed. “Exactly Captain, I am just eager to finally settle the score!” Ebony shouted giddily. “Dwarf, finish her off.”

“With pleasure Maw.” Dwarf snarled before charging at the alliance. They all prepared for an awesome showdown before charging into battle. Thanos just stood there and watched as his Black Order took on the accursed rebels and their allies. Captain America & Garnet teamed up against Corvus and Proxima while Pearl & Thor handled Ebony & Supergiant and Lapis contended with Black Dwarf. The rest all took on more Outriders summoned to fight.

“For Beach City, for Midgard!” Thor roared tossing his mighty hammer at Supergiant, who swiftly dodged it. “You missed Thor!” Pearl shouted. “Did I?” the future king of Asgard grinned reaching out for his trusted weapon. When it finally returned to him, it smacked the wraith square in the back of her head in its path. “You may be a god Odinson, but can you compare to a servant of Thanos?” Maw bragged summoning a large boulder over him with telekinesis. He chucked it at the duo but then with the combined might of Asgard’s finest warrior and the Crystal Gem, it was reduced to gravel.

“I have always wanted to fight such a stable fusion.” Proxima said clashing with Garnet. “Reminds me of the love between my dear Corvus and I.” she added gazing lovingly at her husband as he jabbed at Cap’s shield. “Wait, you two are in love?!” the fusion exclaimed trying to punch her in the face. “No you fool, we are married!”

“I would say congratulations, but you need to leave!” Garnet shouted landing a punch on Midnight’s midsection. “You wouldn’t understand fusion!” the female minion of Thanos shouted stabbing her opponent in the face with her trident, which caused her to defuse into Ruby and Sapphire. “What?!”

“We’re not just a fusion Proxima.” Sapphire declared creating a spear out of ice. “We are a conversation!” Ruby finished for her lover summoning her gauntlet. The two small Gems charged at the taller blue woman while Corvus continued fighting Cap.

“Why do you keep resisting fool? Don’t you see our master will destroy you once he obtains all six Infinity Stones again?!” he cried managing to produce a few dents in his shield. “Because we’ve beat him before and we’ll beat him again!” Steve declared tossing his shield and knocking out a few Outriders for Amethyst & Mantis before returning to his side.

Black Dwarf meanwhile was evenly matched with Lapis. Normally, he would’ve fought evenly with a Gem like Garnet, Rose, Bismuth or Jasper but Lapis was different. They were on a planet that was mostly water, her main element. She was basically on par with him here, but maybe if he could throw her off somehow. “The offer still stands terraformer, join us or face oblivion!” he boomed trying in vain to hit her with his mace. “No, I’ve chosen to defend Earth from the likes of you! You can shatter me all you want, but you’ll never take my freedom!” Lapis declared.

“That’s my girl!” Peridot cried as she rode on Hulk’s back while he plowed through Outriders. “Thanks Peri.” Lapis wistfully said turning to her best friend before being knocked face-first on the ground. “Well then, oblivion it is girl.” Dwarf snarled as he slammed his axe on her gem, cracking it. This in turn turned Lapis’s colors a darker shade of blue and her eyes glassy, almost mirror-like. “Oh no, not again!”

“Lapis!” Steven cried trying to save his friend. “Do not cry for her boy, she will perish just like all the Gems in the rebellion before her!” the brute shouted driving his weapon deeper, making her scream in pain. “That’s right! LOUDER!” he exclaimed, finding joy in her struggling. If his axe were to go any deeper, Lapis would be shattered right then and there. She couldn’t take this. She was powerless once more, facing the possibility of death and began to sob as he continued striking at the crack.

“You leave her alone you giant clod!” Peridot screamed using her ferrokinesis to grab Dwarf by his axe and toss him into a group of Outriders.

“Whoo, that’s my Kindergartener!” Amethyst cheered for her fellow shorty. “Yes, she is quite powerful!” Mantis added clapping before she was suddenly cornered by a very angry Black Dwarf. “Hey, leave my homegirls alone you big lizard!” the defective Quartz exclaimed grabbing him by the neck with her whips and tossing him around. “And I thought Thanos trained you better than that.”

“You ignorant worm! I shall grind you into dust!” Black Dwarf was at his breaking point, ready to destroy anything that dared cross him until his comrade Corvus stopped him. “Savor your strength brother, they are not worth our time anymore.” he stated. “Right, maybe we should let Master Thanos obliterate them.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Thanos added preparing for battle. He raised his gauntlet-clad hand once again with an air of superiority surrounding him. “You leave them alone!” Steven shouted summoning his shield before he was punched aside. “No boy, this is between me and the rebels.” the Titan stated marching towards the Gems. Pearl was the first to stand up to him as she clashed her spear with his finger. “I remember fighting you in the Rebellion Thanos! Destroying thousands of Gems all for the sake of Lady Death was just utterly heartless!”

“That reminds me Pearl, how’s Rose doing?” the conqueror asked her with a manic smirk. “Well she uh, uh.” the lost defective Pearl began to stutter before she finally gave her answer. “She died to give birth to a child, whom was the one you punched.” she said gazing at Steven as he healed Lapis off to the side. “And are you still in love with her?” Thanos added. “Yes, but I’m trying to move on from-”

“I’ve heard enough. To be a great defender, you must let go of past mistakes and look to the future, but I believe you prefer to stay in the past with your beloved.” the destroyer insulted her. “Well you shouldn’t be saying that Mr. 'In Love with a Cosmic Deity That Isn’t Interested’!” Pearl shouted before she was grabbed by the torso and thrown away. “That is where you belong Pearl, thrown away like a forgotten toy! Perhaps that’s why you abandoned your Diamond.”

Then Amethyst attempted to fight him, strangling him with her weapon. “My my, is that an Amethyst I see?” he wondered. “Excuse me little one, I want to see Amethyst.” Amethyst was understandably enraged by his insult and pulled him down to the ground with a scream. “Don’t call me little like that ever! Ya hear me?!” she shouted turning into her Purple Puma form, jumping into the air and smacking him with an elbow attack before he grabbed her arm and tossed her to his feet. “I expected better from a Kindergarten.”

“That is enough Thanos!” Doctor Strange unleashed a barrier around the hybrid alien. “Doctor Strange, how good to see you again. For the last time.” Thanos boasted. “Garnet, now!” the Sorcerer Supreme commanded the newly refused Garnet as she charged toward the Titanian and kicked him right in the jaw.

“Leave my comrades alone Thanos or face my wrath!” she declared preparing to launch her gauntlets like rockets at him. “And what would your "wrath” be? Just standing around and doing nothing while your teammates get up to nonsense chicanery?“

Garnet immediately ceased fire to comprehend Thanos’s words, when suddenly Hulk, Thor, Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Ant-Man, Wasp, Spider-Man, Star-Lord, Drax and Groot attacked the Titan all at once. "PURPLE MAN HURT PINK BOY AND FRIENDS! HULK RIP OFF PURPLE MAN’S HEAD!” Hulk screamed. “Your days end here monster!” Hank shouted about to perform a flying kick before the Titan just mock-yawned and blasted them all away.

Then both Gamora & Nebula tried to fight him. “We’ve lived with your abuse for far too long!” Nebula screamed trying to stab her adoptive father before she was grabbed by the head and knocked out cold. “Take her away.” he simply commanded a lone Outrider who grabbed the Luphomoid’s unconscious form and scampered away, leaving the others crying her name.

“Get a load of this big guy!” Rocket roared while he and Yondu fired multiple arrows that simply failed to hit him not even once. “Are you all done yet?” was the flattest response Thanos could muster with a seriously bored expression on his face.

“We’re not done!” Peridot & Lapis cried out in unison preparing to stop him. “Oh look, the comic relief has arrived.” Thanos said turning to the barn mates. “You too Thanos?!” Lapis exclaimed incredulously preparing a tidal wave to wash him away. “Yeah, we’re Crystal Gems too!” Peridot added snatching Corvus Glaive’s weapon from his hands and took up arms. “If you claim to be Crystal Gems, then where are your stars?” He pointed straight at Peridot’s chest where that diamond symbol still hanged. “I-I’ll get mine soon, I’m just really hard to poof!”

“If these failures refuse to give you one, then maybe I can bestow it myself.” Thanos stated gesturing towards their fellow Gems as they struggled to get up before raising his left hand, preparing to destroy her and Lapis. Pretty much every one of the heroes was down for the count all except for two people: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. “There’s only one way out of this.” Stark glowered at the Mad Titan behind his back before calling for Jarvis. “Jarvis?”

“Yes Mr. Stark?” Jarvis asked, ready to accept whatever command he was given. “Bring in Veronica.” Tony ordered. “Are you truly sure sir? After the last time you used it, it’s still in need of repairs.” the AI tried to advise against it. “I don’t care, we need to stop him!” Tony shouted. “All right then. Sending in Veronica.”

High above the battleground, a jet launched a crate with the Stark Industries name on it and crashed down right on top of Tony. The crate broke apart to reveal a large Iron Man armor as tall as Dr. Banner’s mutated half. This was Mark XLIV, the Hulkbuster.

“This is where we finish this Thanos.” Iron Man declared as Cap and the Hulkbuster charged toward him, ready to just end it all. “No, this is where I finish you.” Thanos heartlessly tore the Hulkbuster armor apart and pushed Tony away while Steve stumbled back.

It was over.

Thanos had won.

“Now all I need is the Mind Stone to become omnipotent.” he stated. That was when he heard the Captain begin to chuckle, followed by a light snicker and then finally a loud laugh for everyone to hear. “Cap!” Steven cheered rushing to his idol’s side.

“Why are you laughing?! You’ve lost!” Thanos wondered out loud. “It’s because we may have lost against you many times before Thanos, but we’ll always come out on top no matter what.” Rogers declared smirking. “And as long as one man stands against you, you will never claim victory.”

“My mom saw the beauty in everything. But I’m sure she didn’t see it in you.” Steven added with a determined glare. “Such noble sentiments from two mortals who are about to die.” Thanos declared preparing once more for battle. This was it, the final epic battle for the Infinity Stones and the fate of all that lives within the universe. The half-human son of Rose Quartz and the First Avenger against the almost all-powerful Mad Titan.

Thanos made his first move, pounding the sand beneath them with his fist to blind the two and firing an energy blast from his hands. “Out of the way!” Steven cried and the two dodged it. “Good maneuvers there kid!” the Star-Spangled Man with a Plan commended his young fan’s brilliance. The boy had no time to geek out over this as Thanos prepared to fire from a large rifle.

“Stasis gun!” Rogers exclaimed before Steven pulled out his shield to block the blast. “The shield of that accursed Rose Quartz! Then that must mean-” Thanos realized. “You must be her son.”

“I know, but I’m not like her! My mom may have done some bad things in the past, but I’m gonna make up for them!” Steven proclaimed. “Typical Rose Quartz, always using others to further her own goals like the fool she is.” the Mad Titan sarcastically lamented. “No, you’re the fool here for claiming you can just win all over again!” Cap declared fiercely. Thanos felt something snap in him, as if a small string finally gave way. He did not like how this puny human had just insulted him and gotten off scott free.

Without even the slightest of hesitation, Thanos ripped Captain America’s shield from his hands, broke it in two, stabbed him with both halves and shoved him into the cliffside, knocking him unconscious.

“STEVE!” they all cried out for their friend, terrified at what Thanos has done. “That could happen to the rest of you if I am disrespected any further.” the Titan declared. “Now hand over the Mind Stone or this planet shall become a forgotten memory.”

“Just let him have it Steven, we just can’t take it anymore.” Pearl finally resigned as the Crystal Gems felt utterly defeated despite their efforts. “You can take the Mind Stone, just please don’t hurt any of my friends or this planet.” Steven begged Thanos. “Hm, I shall give you this. You know how to put the needs of others before yours.” the villain complimented him. “Go, retrieve your stone. And I solemnly swear your planet shall remain living.”

“Come on everyone. For Earth.” Garnet declared getting up and leading the other Gems to the Burning Room. Opening the door, they walked inside and Steven jumped up to retrieve the Infinity Stone in its bubble. The rebels took one long last look at the artifact, still glimmering within its bubble before taking back outside where Thanos was waiting, eagerly anticipating the final stone.

“Here it is Thanos, the Mind Stone.” Steven popped the bubble and held out the stone for Thanos to take. “Thank you very much boy.” he thanked the child taking it out of his mitts and finally inserting it into the Gauntlet.

It was all over, the Gauntlet was complete and Thanos has now become a god. With just a wave of his hand, entire galaxies could tremble at his feet or he could destroy the entire universe and remake it in his image. But as for now, he will just relish in this victory over the incompetent rebels Rose left behind.

“I shall have you know son of Rose, or Steven Universe as they refer to you, that from now on my reign of terror shall be blamed on you and your planet. What’s left of the universe shall desire to carve out your heart and sacrifice it to me as their new god.” Thanos boomed one last time. “Even centuries from now when your pitiful Crystal Gems fade into the wind, they will tell stories of how one little boy has doomed them all.”

“I don’t care, you promise that Earth will live, right?” Steven wept before sobbing in Garnet’s arms. “Indeed child, Earth will be spared from my wrath. For now.” He then turned back to his intimidating vessel. “My Black Order, return to my side! It is time to lay siege to a certain empire.” His loyal minions did as they were told as they wearily stood up and returned to their lord’s aide before entering the ship.

Thanos simply looked back at the Gems with an arrogant sneer before the spaceship’s entrance finally closed and it took off, leaving Earth behind. “Now then, let’s see how Rogers is doing.” Pearl stated blankly walking over to the others, in which Tony, Hank and Strange checking his vitals. “Anything Tony?” she asked. “He’s all right, just knocked unconscious and in critical condition. But we don’t know if he’s going to make it out okay.”

“I-it’s okay guys! Superheroes die and come back a lot! He’s gonna come back eventually, right guys?!” Spider-Man tried to lighten their spirits in his usual manner, but to no avail. There was an air of dead silence in the area.

To the Avengers, they had lost a dear friend and a leader. To Lapis and Peridot, though they hadn’t known him long, they felt their pain. To the Guardians, they lost a trusted ally. But the Crystal Gems took it the hardest.

Garnet lost someone whom she could call an equal. Amethyst lost someone she could aspire to be like. Pearl lost the man whom she bonded with and was the closest to him out of all the Avengers. But to Steven, he lost his hero, his idol, the very super he looked up to. He had learned from him to stand up for what is right no matter the odds, to be with the ones you love til the end of the line, but most importantly to bring hope to even the darkest of times.

This time of mourning lasted throughout the night until the sun finally rose. Normally, the sun rising would mean new beginnings but for this despairing crew, it meant the beginning of the end.

“Guys?”

The Gem Homeworld. A sprawling utopia that has been the home of Gemkind for thousands of years, Ruled by the Great Diamond Authority, this planet has been at relative peace until they started running low on resources, in which they tried to resolve it by harvesting other planets to create new Gems.

But now, a certain tyrant has invaded with a score to settle with Homeworld’s monarchs and has decided to attract them by shattering every single Gem within his sights. All except one that managed to flee his rampage and make it her mission to warn her Diamond of his arrival.

A lone Citrine raced to a nearby communication port and punched in a special code to contact her Diamond, only to be met with her Pearl. “Welcome to the Diamond Line, what do you want?” Yellow Pearl snarked in a snooty tone of voice. “Listen, you have to connect me to Yellow Diamond! He’s finally come for us!” the Citrine warned much to the Pearl’s shock.

“Pearl, what is this about 'he’ returning?” a deep feminine voice wondered picking up the projector to reveal none other than Yellow Diamond. “My Diamond, I have terrible news! Thanos has returned, and he has all the Infinity Stones! You must contact the others and assemble every Gem you got to stop him! We need-”

Before Citrine could finish, the communicator was totaled by an energy blast from none other than Ebony Maw. “Well well, aren’t we a bit tenacious here?” he chided the soldier backing her into a corner and preparing an energy blast. “Savor your energy Ebony.” Thanos declared gently pushing his minion out of the way and forcing Citrine to the ground, aiming his foot at her hand where her gemstone was placed. “When you perish by my heel, tell your comrades in the next world I said hello.” And with that, he stomped Citrine’s gem, instantly shattering her.

“Thanos has returned?!” Blue Diamond screamed in horror as she and her sister raced to confront Thanos. “Yes, a Citrine soldier of mine warned me he would return someday.” Yellow commented. “Now where is White?!”

“Still can’t find her.” Blue moaned before they finally reached the Mad Titan, having already reduced their united army into five Rubies, an Aquamarine, a pair of Topazes and an Emerald fearing for their lives.

“This is all you have to offer now? I expected better from intergalactic warlords!” Thanos exclaimed crushing an inactive gemstone in his hand. “Thanos! What brings you back here you mongrel?!” Yellow Diamond roared preparing to strike him down. “Don’t do it my Diamond, Thanos is not to be messed with!” one of the Rubies begged her Diamond. “This Ruby is right Yellow, stand down or face my wrath.”

“Maybe we should just listen to his demands and maybe he’ll leave.” Blue Diamond suggested, to which her Pearl readily agreed. “Never! This Titan has disgraced us for far too long, and it’s time I get revenge for Pink!” Yellow screamed preparing to face off against Thanos before he raised the Gauntlet and said a single word. “KNEEL!”

Almost instantaneously, the two monarchs and their Pearls dropped to their knees before the Mad Titan. Just then, Mephisto materialized behind him. “Master, your new planet is almost ready. Your fleets have already prepared several worlds for you to terrorize.” the demon announced bowing.

“Excellent Mephisto.” Thanos thanked his servant before turning back to the Diamonds. “Perhaps if you hadn’t done nothing but sit around and mourn the demise of that brat rather than do as you were meant to do, then maybe things would’ve been different.”

“What is he implying?” Blue Pearl mumbled. “I am trying to say-” Thanos began before he stopped himself. “I shall work out the details later. But right now…” He turned away and stepped forward, gazing upon the sky of Homeworld and thinking about the various planets that he could conquer, all for his beloved. “He’s really going to do it.” Mephisto muttered almost fearfully as the others looked at Thanos gazing at something that clearly isn’t there.

But to Thanos, this was the form of his beloved Lady Death, standing there in front of him, her black robes hiding her wistful, neutral expression. Thanos grinned as he raised his hand skyward. Now that he was a god, what was his first act?

A single fingersnap.

To be continued in Steven Universe: Secret Wars

Part 2: Battleworld

Well that’s it everyone. The day has finally come. Let the universe howl in despair for Thanos has risen. Can the Crystal Gems and the Avengers find a way to stop him? Find out next time, coming soon.

#steven universe #the avengers #fanfiction #crossover #steven universe secret wars #steven quartz universe #garnet #amethyst #pearl #tony stark #iron man #steve rogers #captain america #bruce banner #incredible hulk #thor odinson #natasha romanoff #black widow #clint barton #hawkeye #doctor strange #carol danvers #captain marvel #t'challa #black panther #connie maheswaran #lapis lazuli #peridot #spider-man #ant-man

[hgfstreamchats]

The Room

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. Jalaperilo: Hello! Knock Out: Hello, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo: *squints* Jalaperilo: what the hell? Knock Out: I have no clue. Jalaperilo: haha Jalaperilo: who made you do this? Knock Out: Excellent question. Jalaperilo: somehow, this isn't worst than The Room? Knock Out: Oh, that's encouraging. Jalaperilo: Oh doc, you're in for a treat Knock Out: I can't wait.

Jalaperilo: the first time I watched this was also on a random stream i found. it was also the stream where I found the epic horror that is Re-Animator Knock Out: Which we also need to stream someday. Knock Out: Are...are they all interfacing with each other? Jalaperilo: please dont judge human interfacing on this film Knock Out: No promises. Knock Out: Dear Unicron, get on with it. Jalaperilo: im dying Knock Out: Gah! Jalaperilo: i have my head in my hands Knock Out: That was completely relevant and necessary. Jalaperilo: just like this movie Jalaperilo: cause hes terrible in bed Knock Out: What, humans don't like spastic little hip twitches? Jalaperilo: that arent in the vicinity of where they should actually be thrusting? Knock Out: He tried. Sort of. Jalaperilo: does he get a gold star with 'you tried' on it? Knock Out: He gets one of the lopsided ones. Matches his technique. Jalaperilo: hahah! Knock Out: Gladly. Jalaperilo: hehe Jalaperilo: oh no. please dont. he's my friend *DOES NOTHING TO RESIST SLEEPING WITH HER* Knock Out: Way to stick to your guns there, human we just met. Jalaperilo: he has the breaking strain of a kit kat Knock Out: Hah! Knock Out: What actually is he supposed to be penetrating? Knock Out: *exactly Jalaperilo: unless she has some weird random holes in her, i dont know what theyre stabbing at Knock Out: That's the plot twist. Jalaperilo: thats she's actually a sponge Knock Out: Or in possession of some kind of prehensile protein sleeve. Jalaperilo: erg Knock Out: Go back to the fat pug. Jalaperilo: this kid is creepy Knock Out: He grew up to be one of the sex offender shufflers. Jalaperilo: hahah! Jalaperilo: she ordwered the worst pizza Knock Out: Isn't that supposed to be one of those human foods you can't ruin? Knock Out: And yet, somehow, she did? Jalaperilo: please dont maake love again Knock Out: Oh, please, no. Not again. Knock Out: Have mercy. Jalaperilo: you cant get away ko Jalaperilo: we both have to live with this Knock Out: We have to live with his sloppy twitches. thenightetc: ...What did I walk in on Jalaperilo: get out while you can Jalaperilo: hello btw Knock Out: Run, and live well. Knock Out: And hello. thenightetc: (Lost track of time and tumblr decided not to alert me that there were new posts!  :') ) Jalaperilo: blah blah blah btw i have cancer. anyway.... thenightetc: the acting is really... something. Jalaperilo: have you never seen this before either? Jalaperilo: you're in for as right treat thenightetc: I have not.  I've just heard it's notoriously terrible thenightetc: It's the... Wisseau thing right? Knock Out: It is indeed. Jalaperilo: yes Knock Out: Who's this unfortunate soul? thenightetc: :( Jalaperilo: urgh thenightetc: I was 80% sure that was leading up to murder thenightetc: Just felt like one of those scenes, y'know? Jalaperilo: probably would have done the plot a favour with a murder or two Knock Out: That makes it worse! Cardinal: Hello, hello! Knock Out: Cardinal! How good to see you! Jalaperilo: hello! Knock Out: But how tragic you're here. thenightetc: So, ah, what all did I miss in terms of plot? thenightetc: ...Oh?  Murder time NOW? Jalaperilo: tommy is the best ever, lisa hates him one minute and loves him the next Jalaperilo: you also missed2 bad sex scenes Jalaperilo: there is no cohearent plot Cardinal: I see what you mean by tragic. thenightetc: He was JUST yelling about money, it's obvious "what he wants" Jalaperilo: how does one accidentally buy drugs lol thenightetc: Where did that guy come from Knock Out: They obviously care deeply for the 36 year old man they adopted. Jalaperilo: haha thenightetc: oh no Jalaperilo: stop making aliens think humans are terrible at sex! thenightetc: Please tell me they're not going to phone sex now Starscreamapillar: Good, I have not missed out on too much madness. Knock Out: No, just several abysmal fragging scenes. Knock Out: Welcome to the disaster, by the way. Cardinal: Oh, did I miss the stair sex? Cardinal: ha ha ha what a story mark Starscreamapillar: I am not at all displeased to have missed out on those. Jalaperilo: lucky you cardinal thenightetc: Yes count your blessings Knock Out: What a charmer. Jalaperilo: thanks for dissing my gender thenightetc: I wish they'd both fall off the roof. Starscreamapillar: This human learned how to speak from the Internet, didn't he. Knock Out: Shuut Cardinal: *gun fingers* shuut thenightetc: What is he implying here Jalaperilo: there is a big theory on the net that tommy wiseau isnt actually human Cardinal: hahn? Knock Out: That's...actually quite plausible? thenightetc: It's not nice to mock whatever speech impediment or accent or whatever he has, guys. Starscreamapillar: Are conversations normally carried out at a recline like that? thenightetc: Why is her friend all shocked that she doesn't want to marry the guy who hit her thenightetc: Terrible friend Jalaperilo: this is how humans emote yes? Starscreamapillar: Apparently. FeralDog: goonai lisa Starscreamapillar: Ah yes. They are in the totally real alley. Cardinal: Of course! FeralDog: this looks so.... buffy the vampire slayer knockoff FeralDog: I keep expecting the undead to strike thenightetc: I keep hoping for the undead to strike. FeralDog: you know... Knock Out: This movie is like a victim of head trauma, dazed and wandering through a field somewhere. FeralDog: there supposedly was a vampire subplot that Wiseau nixed? Jalaperilo: hyoomans throw football as bonding yes? Cardinal: ((Apparently Tommy Wiseau did originally want to enter onto the roof on a flying car Cardinal: ((and--yeah, the vampire reveal)) thenightetc: Oh boy!  Is he dying Cardinal: ((But he didn't nix it, he wanted it Cardinal: ((they talked him out of it Starscreamapillar: And then he ate that younger man. Jalaperilo: he ends up eating somethign alright thenightetc: ...well, that's not alarming Jalaperilo: the only plot this film has is everyone is terrible except tommy who is perfect Starscreamapillar: Somehow I get the feeling even watching this from the beginning wouldn't have it make any more sense. FeralDog: he's not even looking at the psych Starscreamapillar: I doubt that man's credentials. FeralDog: he says dejectedly Jalaperilo: time to tell us how *** women are? FeralDog: yep Cardinal: oh no the psychologist knows thenightetc: Johnny does sort of look like he's halfheartedly dressing up as a vampire Cardinal: "Can I meet the married woman you're boinking?" thenightetc: Totally normal question to ask Knock Out: I feel like I've blown a neural circuit. Jalaperilo: you made love twivce in this film already FeralDog: You keep playing psychologist with us! now let me ask you questions a psychologist should answer! Cardinal: Shh, shhhh.  Let the words eat away at your processor.  The pain will recede soon. Jalaperilo: cheep cheep cheep thenightetc: oh god Starscreamapillar: .... Cardinal: cheep cheep cheep thenightetc: is he going to--No, I guess not Cardinal: I NEVER ATE SO MUCH FeralDog: the only sane comment Jalaperilo: *wink* FeralDog: this sounds like he's making it up as  he goes and the music is not helping thenightetc: ...I don't think that's how checks work Jalaperilo: just ndissing the *** outta you lisa Starscreamapillar: I don't think any of this is how it works. Cardinal: Denny why are you sitting on the floor Starscreamapillar: Sit on the floor, with the front door open. Jalaperilo: denny asked her for a kiss earlier thenightetc: Do iiiiiiit FeralDog: i almost feel like the vampire subplot would make this make sense. in a he's hypnotized too many people and now can't keep control of the illusions so the wor;d's gone mad around him,,,,,, Jalaperilo: is knock out still with us or did he actually fry his processor? Starscreamapillar: I envy him if he did brown out. This is painful. Knock Out: Theoretically, I'm still here. Jalaperilo: sorry i tried to throw you off a building? Jalaperilo: good. was worried you'd left us to suffer on our own FeralDog: yeah, man it's totally fine. happens all the time Cardinal: He already knows your secret. Cardinal: I'm so depressed bro Jalaperilo: aint we all? Starscreamapillar: That small door. thenightetc: The roof bothers me more.  Looks so fake. Jalaperilo: none of these suits fit even slightly Cardinal: *ominous music*  He shaaaved Starscreamapillar: They found the suits in a box in their fake alley. FeralDog: wwwwwwwwwhat Cardinal: . . . . . Jalaperilo: lol Cardinal: well Cardinal: I wish Trogdor were here to see this. Cardinal: Maybe he could make sense of it. Jalaperilo: is tommy trogdor's holoavatar? Knock Out: Fact! Starscreamapillar: Did they have a reason to be wearing tuxedos earlier? thenightetc: Maybe they were trying them on to make sure they fit? Cardinal: . . . nice segue. Starscreamapillar: No one paid for those drinks. Starscreamapillar: Drat. Now I must suffer through this. Jalaperilo: god Knock Out: For the love of Unicron, no. Cardinal: Shield your optics! Jalaperilo: can unicron come eat us? Starscreamapillar: I think exploding again would be less painful than this. FeralDog: do we really need to see the ENTIRE sex scene FeralDog: a fadeout would be appreciated Starscreamapillar: How is this still going on?! Jalaperilo: in all 4? sex scenes, no one seems to have thrust anywhere near her vagine Knock Out: What I tell you? Protein sleeve. Jalaperilo: oh year lol Jalaperilo: *yeah FeralDog: more football based bonding Starscreamapillar: I feel as though you could replace these actors with golden retreivers and lose nothing. Jalaperilo: 'i saw a hyooman program with this so all hyoomans do this bonding' Knock Out: Please, no. Cardinal: AGAIN? thenightetc: Again?! Knock Out: Not again. No more. Cardinal: *weeps quietly* thenightetc: Please let something burst in and eat them Knock Out: Oh, thank you! Cardinal: Wow, Lisa. Jalaperilo: was there anything like this on cybertron? thenightetc: Some of the audio seems a little... desynched or something thenightetc: Is this... dubbed? Starscreamapillar: If there was, I certainly didn't watch it. Knock Out: I think this might be one of those "once in a universe" things. Jalaperilo: *** Jalaperilo: we really are the worst species Cardinal: Well, you are the spawn of Unicron. Knock Out: Take a bow. thenightetc: Excuse me, I'm not taking the blame for this movie. thenightetc: How dare. Jalaperilo: us all watching this now are now linked in a shared, horrific experience Starscreamapillar: As if I didn't already have enough horrifying experiences in my life. Jalaperilo: i like being the spawn of another species' devil thenightetc: ...Yikes thenightetc: What the *** Starscreamapillar: The film's writer clearly had some unresolved issues. thenightetc: You think? Jalaperilo: would you believe that tommy wiseau wrote ANd sirected AND acted in this? Jalaperilo: *directed Cardinal: Yes. Knock Out: And funded it, and apparently no one knows how. Starscreamapillar: Yes. Yes I would. Jalaperilo: alien money Cardinal: Deal with Unicron. Jalaperilo: probably traded a load of shanix with a skuxxoid Starscreamapillar: Are you certain he didn't kidnap these people, and force them to be in his film? thenightetc: Oh god, they're going to sneak off for another sex scene, aren't thy Starscreamapillar: 'Sneak'? thenightetc: Well. Cardinal: As Shockwave would say, "illogical." Jalaperilo: shockwave would shutdown at this film Cardinal: . . . Cardinal: I'm going to show it to him. Cardinal: Whoa, someone did the impossible and came BACK into the house. Knock Out: Sensitive with genuine human emotions. Cardinal: Leave your STUPID comments in your pocket! thenightetc: That's where I keep all *my* stupid comments. Cardinal: Good thinking!  Inviting my friends! Cardinal: What are they doing outside? Cardinal: I just? Cardinal: Alternate, help. Jalaperilo: cardinal is crashing lol thenightetc: Oh god. Knock Out: I can't help you. I'm so very, very sorry. Knock Out: I'm lost. I'm gone. Cardinal: *whimpers* thenightetc: *facepalm* Starscreamapillar: Surely he won't be able to count to nine months from now. Jalaperilo: haha thenightetc: That guy does look sort of like Xander Knock Out: Who *are* you? Jalaperilo: i think they swapped out an actor Starscreamapillar: No one will notice this loud conversation in public about her cheating. Knock Out: Doesn't matter, had cake. Jalaperilo: haha! thenightetc: They're hardly subtle about it.  Maybe everyone already knows. Cardinal: What do you mean, look at this subterfuge Cardinal: What do you mean, look at this subterfuge Jalaperilo: what planet IS he from? thenightetc: What do you mean, I always slow dance with my platonic friends Knock Out: I've spent the last hour pondering that same question. Starscreamapillar: He is fed up with this world. Knock Out: Most alien species that can mimic other species tend to be good at it. thenightetc: Hey, you know what would be funny after this? Knock Out: What? Jalaperilo: icepick lobotomy> Jalaperilo: ? Cardinal: "And I DEFINITELY have breast cancer." thenightetc: Just look for "arrested development chicken dance" on youtube Knock Out: Consider it done. thenightetc: I'm sure there are a BUNCH of clips caffienatedglitter: henlo Starscreamapillar: Someone had better end up murdered at the end of this. Knock Out: I hope it's me. thenightetc: For some reason I'd gotten the impression this was a horror movie Jalaperilo: you may just get your wish tonight screamy Starscreamapillar: The horror is in sitting through it. caffienatedglitter: oh god caffienatedglitter: EWWWW Starscreamapillar: Do Not call me that. thenightetc: :( Knock Out: I think we can agree we've all lost something precious tonight. caffienatedglitter: what did i walk in on Jalaperilo: you are the lucky one, to only suffer the end of this caffienatedglitter: how is the audio from the other end of the phone line so clear thenightetc: ...He already knew they were cheating together though? caffienatedglitter: what is his accent thenightetc: https://www.reddit.com/r/linguistics/comments/1gs6ol/what_the_heck_is_going_on_with_tommy_wiseaus_voice/ caffienatedglitter: he angery thenightetc: Not sure if there's an actual answer there, per se caffienatedglitter: he screm Thebes: Oh man, I appear to have been late to the worst movie thenightetc: You are correct caffienatedglitter: KNOCKING THINGS OVER IS THE ONLY WAY A MOVIE CHARACTER CAN EXPRESS ANGER thenightetc: Chew that scenery!  CHEW thenightetc: Aren't they just upstairs from him?  Can't they hear this going on? Thebes: How delicately he moves those bedsheets Starscreamapillar: I am disappointed at the lack of murder spree. Jalaperilo: this is more acting than the rest of the film thenightetc: Uh caffienatedglitter: ewwwww thenightetc: Why this Jalaperilo: i forgot that bit! Cardinal: . . . caffienatedglitter: ewvwwhw wnvjhwvg' Thebes: I think this is ... supposed to be pathos? caffienatedglitter: oh god caffienatedglitter: dude stop Cardinal: I've been asking myself the same thing. caffienatedglitter: holy Knock Out: FRAG. caffienatedglitter: he's dead Thebes: yes. yes he is. thenightetc: dramatic slow-mo caffienatedglitter: ... caffienatedglitter: YAAAAAAAAAAAY Jalaperilo: well at least he got his daily amount of iron? caffienatedglitter: no, he's sleeping Starscreamapillar: Yes, just put your hand right in that. thenightetc: Yeah, get his blood all over your hands caffienatedglitter: so many diseases Jalaperilo: bet you werent expecting that Doc thenightetc: Disturb the scene a little more Thebes: PATHOS caffienatedglitter: seriously pathogens love to travel through blood Knock Out: I can honestly say I wasn't. caffienatedglitter: what do you mean you lost him YOU DUMPED HIM caffienatedglitter: ALSO MARK DIDNT YOU WANT TO SEX HER BEFORE Thebes: YES. YES HE DID Cardinal: LEAVE US thenightetc: Wow Knock Out: Don't leave that one alone with the body! Jalaperilo: this whole film is about tommy's messiah complex caffienatedglitter: CALL THE COPS caffienatedglitter: CALL THE COIPS YOU IDIOTS Jalaperilo: knock out! haha thenightetc: No, no, they'll want to handle the gun a bit first too thenightetc: Get their fingerprints all over it caffienatedglitter: i tyhought he saids he didnt have any friends now everyones sobbin over his body caffienatedglitter: piugblswk caffienatedglitter: ive only been here for TEWO MINUTES Thebes: WAIT Cardinal: Amazing. Thebes: HE WAS GRABBING HER HAIR caffienatedglitter: WHY Starscreamapillar: Well, that was about as bad as having my head blown off again. caffienatedglitter: WHAT IS THIS MUSIC caffienatedglitter: INAPROPRIATE MUCH Jalaperilo: sexytimes on the corpse music FeralDog: good god Thebes: There's appropriate anything in this movie? Knock Out: Denny is there also. caffienatedglitter: "assistant to mr. wiseau"???? five people??? FeralDog: I feel like I just survived a deadly fever caffienatedglitter: those poor performers Jalaperilo: they were the five humans that taught him how to act like one of us Thebes: oh, man, there's abook about the weird, troubled production of this movie. It's so out there it's getting made into its own movie caffienatedglitter: i wish i'd gotten here earlier thenightetc: You shouldn't. caffienatedglitter: you misunderstand caffienatedglitter: i am a masochist caffienatedglitter: more assisstants jesus caffienatedglitter: welp caffienatedglitter: is that it Knock Out: The assistants were there to keep the Wiseau human from poking himself. caffienatedglitter: oh dear Thebes: yeah you missed the bit about Denny being into drugs and the bizarre casual cancer subplot caffienatedglitter: the room is a meme, i know the basic plot caffienatedglitter: wait caffienatedglitter: cancer caffienatedglitter: WHEN DID CANCER GET INVOLVED thenightetc: Yeah, there was cancer Jalaperilo: the mum is all i'm dying, its deffo cancer, andyway, marry tommy FeralDog: This lady casually announced that she had breast cancer caffienatedglitter: ooooh right caffienatedglitter: what Knock Out: I just take the suggestions, I don't question them. caffienatedglitter: at least it isn't the cheeeep cheep cheep thenightetc: They ALL have one caffienatedglitter: cheeep chepchepcheepcheep Starscreamapillar: . . . . caffienatedglitter: wait caffienatedglitter: frag for a second i thought his voice was robin williams Knock Out: ... Knock Out: ... Knock Out: ...Well, this has been an enlightening evening. Starscreamapillar: I think that's misrepresentative. Jalaperilo: well. its 3am here. i hope you appreciate my sacrifice to watch that film Jalaperilo: goodnight all! Knock Out: I do. caffienatedglitter: it's only 10:00 here Knock Out: Goodnight! FeralDog: 7:00 here FeralDog: https://xkcd.com/1400/ thenightetc: Awwww, the chicken dance bit is great though.  Even if that was a little poorly edited together. FeralDog: ^relelvant! Thebes: ikr? caffienatedglitter: my god Knock Out: Makes sense to me. thenightetc: Huh. Thebes: ... there's a trailer for a movie where someone is paid to act as Tommy Wiseau FeralDog: oh dear god thenightetc: ...Not sure if I want to see that or not. caffienatedglitter: that or he's the devil made flesg Knock Out: You can't replicate what's going on with this human (?). And no one ever should. thenightetc: That would explain why he looks slightly uncanny Thebes: they get weirdly close. The Disaster Artist trailer, if you want to see for yourself caffienatedglitter: he looks like he's a collage of body parts cut froma magazine caffienatedglitter: but 3d Knock Out: My credits are still on "alien." caffienatedglitter: and also a pervet thenightetc: I read that as "flaming disaster" Starscreamapillar: I think he is a mimic of some kind. Starscreamapillar: And the football is there. Of course. Thebes: it kinda was? Like it's based off the book The Disaster Artist, which is entirely about trying to get this weird alien sock puppet to act thenightetc: Oh god, I didn't notice. caffienatedglitter: is that actually him caffienatedglitter: does he actually think people like this unironically FeralDog: maybe he's one of the fair folk. But he's bad at it. Thebes: maybe he's a bunch of groundhogs trying to pilot a human Knock Out: I like the news scrolling by. caffienatedglitter: they're trying Knock Out: "Also, some humans died or something." thenightetc: "Like us on Facebook!" Thebes: yeah, kinda. Underscores this. caffienatedglitter: it's a special kind of *** caffienatedglitter: jesus he's like caffienatedglitter: idk thenightetc: Yeah, sports references, that's what I look for in a movie Thebes: how is he keeping a straight face Starscreamapillar: His sunglasses are unsettling. Knock Out: He's hiding something behind there. I'm not certain I want to know what. thenightetc: Soundwave's visor. caffienatedglitter: he's hiding madness, and not very well Knock Out: Tommy Wiseau confirmed for Soundwave. caffienatedglitter: YOU STUDIED PSYCHOLOGY caffienatedglitter: NO caffienatedglitter: BULL caffienatedglitter: what is this thenightetc: We've all been where now? Starscreamapillar: His insane word-salad rambling. caffienatedglitter: is he a human???? caffienatedglitter: knock out please advise thenightetc: The other guy looks so embarassed Knock Out: No advice. He landed on your planet, he's your problem. Starscreamapillar: The other guy is likely concerned if he upsets Wiseau that he wil be consumed. Thebes: I would be thenightetc: Yeah, he does look like he could just unhinge his jaw and, y'know... caffienatedglitter: ubigowj caffienatedglitter: but he's scary caffienatedglitter: he talks like he's got marbled in his mouth Knock Out: If you have to ask, the answer is probably "Tommy Wiseau can most definitely unhinge his jaw and kill some people." caffienatedglitter: HES A SNAKE Starscreamapillar: Snakes do not talk so much. thenightetc: Lime green shirt with matching lime green tie :( Thebes: it's like he agressively doesn't care. caffienatedglitter: this is not a man of earthly cares caffienatedglitter: oh god what'sthis Starscreamapillar: He only cares for how many souls he can harvest, and how much flesh he can consume. thenightetc: SOUNDS LEGIT thenightetc: Is that a hearse Starscreamapillar: Yes. caffienatedglitter: "family kidnapped by ninjas" yeah totally believable caffienatedglitter: ew caffienatedglitter: what\ caffienatedglitter: EWWWWWWWWW thenightetc: What the *** Knock Out: Alright, enough of that. caffienatedglitter: HE IS THE EATER OF FLESH Thebes: what was THAT caffienatedglitter: I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS Knock Out: Tommy Wiseau is clearly a dangerous entity. Starscreamapillar: I feel the pressing need to awaken Unicron, so he can shake off the Earth and ensure Wiseau's destruction. thenightetc: Er caffienatedglitter: how well did that work out for you last time Knock Out: There we go. Much better. Starscreamapillar: Just because it didn't work out for my alternates does not mean it may not work out for me. caffienatedglitter: oh right caffienatedglitter: alternate universes caffienatedglitter: still though caffienatedglitter: starscreams are universally jinxed thenightetc: This actually looks familiar.  Huh Starscreamapillar: I know. caffienatedglitter: Is this car porn Starscreamapillar: But I strive to escape whatever unpleasant fate is in store for me. caffienatedglitter: car porn is pretty chill caffienatedglitter: lol jk Smokescreen: woojit woojit no thenightetc: Nice and relaxing, except when they jerk the camera around. Smokescreen: dont watch the room Knock Out: I just needed to end the night on something other than the question of how many pounds of human flesh Tommy Wiseau can fit in his hollow abdomen. Knock Out: Too late. Smokescreen: .... wait did i miss thenightetc: Too late!  We saw the whole thing! caffienatedglitter: o hai smokescreen Smokescreen: ARGHHGHG Smokescreen: did you like it Smokescreen: Hey! caffienatedglitter: it's the room thenightetc: I don't think it's really something you "like" caffienatedglitter: exactly Smokescreen: Was it... Was it an experience? caffienatedglitter: technically caffienatedglitter: yes Starscreamapillar: It was an experience in madness. thenightetc: Everything is an experience. Smokescreen: it sure was a movie, right? caffienatedglitter: no caffienatedglitter: not particularly Starscreamapillar: It being a movie is debatable. thenightetc: In the broadest possible sense. Smokescreen: a film? caffienatedglitter: it was a venture intop insanity Knock Out: It was a whole lot of something. Thebes: it was filmed. I would hesitate to call it a film Smokescreen: someone sure recorded it on a camera! Thebes: technically Smokescreen: hey woojit have you ever been in a sauna before Knock Out: I think so? Smokescreen: How was it? caffienatedglitter: why are you asking? caffienatedglitter: sorry im curious\ Smokescreen: I've got one, and I wasn't sure what to do with it! caffienatedglitter: nvm Knock Out: You sit, you turn up the heat, you cycle special smoke meant to clean out your vents. There are other things I'd rather spend credits on at the bath houses, but it was nice enough. caffienatedglitter: wait whjat caffienatedglitter: lol jk Smokescreen: woojit woojit no thenightetc: Nice and relaxing, except when they jerk the camera around. Smokescreen: dont watch the room Knock Out: I just needed to end the night on something other than the question of how many pounds of human flesh Tommy Wiseau can fit in his hollow abdomen. Knock Out: Too late. Smokescreen: .... wait did i miss thenightetc: Too late!  We saw the whole thing! caffienatedglitter: o hai smokescreen Smokescreen: ARGHHGHG Smokescreen: did you like it Smokescreen: Hey! caffienatedglitter: it's the room thenightetc: I don't think it's really something you "like" caffienatedglitter: exactly Smokescreen: Was it... Was it an experience? caffienatedglitter: technically caffienatedglitter: yes Starscreamapillar: It was an experience in madness. thenightetc: Everything is an experience. Smokescreen: it sure was a movie, right? caffienatedglitter: no caffienatedglitter: not particularly Starscreamapillar: It being a movie is debatable. thenightetc: In the broadest possible sense. Smokescreen: a film? caffienatedglitter: it was a venture intop insanity Knock Out: It was a whole lot of something. Thebes: it was filmed. I would hesitate to call it a film Smokescreen: someone sure recorded it on a camera! Thebes: technically Smokescreen: hey woojit have you ever been in a sauna before Knock Out: I think so? Smokescreen: How was it? caffienatedglitter: why are you asking? caffienatedglitter: sorry im curious\ Smokescreen: I've got one, and I wasn't sure what to do with it! caffienatedglitter: nvm Knock Out: You sit, you turn up the heat, you cycle special smoke meant to clean out your vents. There are other things I'd rather spend credits on at the bath houses, but it was nice enough. caffienatedglitter: wait whjat caffienatedglitter: WHERE DID YOU GET A SAUNA Smokescreen: also if woojit wants to use this sauna I was gifted caffienatedglitter: WHERE DID YOU GET A GIANT SAUNA Smokescreen: I don't know! It was a gift! I'm kinda suspicious which is also why I'm offering Woojit a whirl in it! Knock Out: Suspicious bath house? I'm sold. thenightetc: Gosh, hope it's not cursed or something. caffienatedglitter: DUDE caffienatedglitter: THERE'S PROBABLY A CAMERA IN IT OR A BOMB Starscreamapillar: Why would a camera matter? Knock Out: Lucky camera. Smokescreen: Awesome! I'll promise to fix you up if it goes horribly wrong but hopefully it won't Smokescreen: wouldn't the lens get covered in steam? Knock Out: Excellent! caffienatedglitter: oh right caffienatedglitter: giant robots caffienatedglitter: nudity isnt a thing Starscreamapillar: Not really, no. caffienatedglitter: eh Smokescreen: woojit i found this anime also i've been meaning to watch and i need thosughts Knock Out: Yes? Smokescreen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVPnaHRgNb8 caffienatedglitter: ooooh knockout you should stream death parade thenightetc: Oh, I love that show!  In a way. caffienatedglitter: oh my god thenightetc: ^Initial D thenightetc: Haven't seen Death Parade caffienatedglitter: it's amazing Knock Out: Yes. Knock Out: Whatever this is, yes. caffienatedglitter: it's only a few episodes long, so Thebes: Initial D is awesome, caffienatedglitter: what is this thenightetc: But you have to not mind the animation. caffienatedglitter: HIS FACE Smokescreen: the humans look dead inside thenightetc: Yeah they do a lot of that thenightetc: You get used ot it Smokescreen: ... are they actually humans or just holo-matter avatars? Smokescreen: i've seen avatars with faces like that Knock Out: Who cares? Smokescreen: true caffienatedglitter: technically they are anime caffienatedglitter: not hoomans Smokescreen: am i anime caffienatedglitter: no you're american animaation Smokescreen: what Smokescreen: i'm not american Smokescreen: i'm praxian caffienatedglitter: your show isn't Smokescreen: WOOJIT HIGHER VOLUMNE Smokescreen: RAISE THE VOLUME thenightetc: And they're proud of that terrible animation, too, lots of closeups of misshapen dead-eyed faces Thebes: all the humans are in love with their cars and will go to absurd lengths to show it Smokescreen: thank you woojit Smokescreen: good Smokescreen: they should love their cars caffienatedglitter: um Starscreamapillar: Is it uncomfortable to squeal your tires like that? caffienatedglitter: smokescreen splease rephrase Smokescreen: it feels good to me! caffienatedglitter: unfortuinate implications Smokescreen: Uhhh- they should adore their cars? caffienatedglitter: smokescreen Smokescreen: what Smokescreen: I don't see the problem! Knock Out: It's not comfortable, but worth it for the sake of drifting. thenightetc: Oh believe me there is drifting in this show :) Thebes: and for wiping a smug smirk off someone's face? Thebes: because there's lots of that too Smokescreen: woojit woojit what if: we raced and played this kinda music at top volume to recreate this stuff caffienatedglitter: NO Smokescreen: but caffienatedglitter: BAD IDEA caffienatedglitter: RECREATING ANIME ONLY BRINGS PAIN Smokescreen: but Smokescreen: :( Knock Out: I'm not hearing a downside! Thebes: This anime is basically nothing but car appreciation and winning races in a way that's petty and satisfying Knock Out: Let's do it! thenightetc: It totally is. caffienatedglitter: knockout you have doomed yoursel Smokescreen: I probably won't be able to do it now, but sometime soon, we gotta! Knock Out: It's a date! thenightetc: Haha, have fun! caffienatedglitter: you fools you will invite them into our world, they will consume reality Smokescreen: I'll look for places with turns like these, too Knock Out: Perfect! Knock Out: That seems a marvelous place to pack it in for tonight. caffienatedglitter: lovely caffienatedglitter: goodnight Knock Out: Goodnight, everyone! Smokescreen: Sounds good. Night, everyone! Knock Out: Thank you for enduring this with me. caffienatedglitter: try not to turn the multiverse into a singularity thenightetc: This was good fun; thanks for the stream. :) Starscreamapillar: I am not sure I should thank you for exposing me to the horror of the Room. Starscreamapillar: Goodnight, and may I be able to atend again in the future. thenightetc: Goodnight! Knock Out: Here's hoping! Smokescreen: Hopefully, I can get here on time one day! Thebes: nighy!