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woomycritiques543 · 1 year

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TW: Mentions of suicide, rape, abuse, and online harassment. To continue on with the Dirgentlemen issue, this time with more evidence since im having to defend myself from the Hazbin "critics" in this fandom- for the thirtieth time!

Ive added more information (text wise) to the last post regarding Dirgentlemen's direspect towards my personal information and legal rights. Otherwise, I will not be further disclosing anything as I want no more involvement with this person or for the situation to get any worse. I provided my evidence, both here and on Twitter to put as much as I could into both the threads, and on here, I defended myself as much as I could from this much larger channel. Both saying "abuser language" and "innapropiate" not just being things that could get me into major legal trouble, but attempting to control the free speech of the public thread by saying how "innapropiate!" I was being for mentioning my own trauma, that he could have easily ignored and let me talk with that one fan about the representation in peace, but choose to harass me any way to along with telling me to "drop it!" in a conversation he started and one that I was begging him to stop doing so he doesnt cause me any further repuatational harm behind my back! But of course, he decided to continue the conversation anyway and thrown on further slander, along with harassment, for two whole hours until I finally got him to stop responding once he began to play the "victim" by telling me to "leave him alone!" after having harassed me and trying to put down my free speech and pushing me down for mentioning my traumas in a public area, the disrespect towards my reputation, refusing to drop the conversation for hours, let alone change the subject or stop harassing me, and it took me blocking him myself after there was enough evidence so I could finally leave and making me continue in order to do so by having as much evidence in both the threads and here as possible to protect my reputation, along with my legal rights due to his deframing and disrespect towards both my information and his disrespectful comments towards it, along with the overall harassment from "Dirgentlemen", in Twitter, on 3/13/23.

Again- the thread is likely still there, so you can see for yourself.

I have nothing to hide, and neither should have him by trying to hide what I was actually saying by trying to weaponize my trauma against my point to make it look like I "CANT!" mention serious topics in that Twitter thread in the first place. Trying to hide behind his status to silence me away from fighting for myself, the others in the community, and our representation and our right to say anything against how he is treating us, serious or not.

The toxic "positivity needs to stop, it's hurting people, what Vivziepop has been encouraging her fans to act, Dirgentlemen and all, is hurting people and it needs to stop before this gets any worse, and as someone who once tried to commit suicide because of being attacked back when I first joined here, before anyone actually ends up being killed knowing of how many others have tried to do the same, to make sure that things dont get any more out of hand. I know that I am not perfect, and that I have done things that I regret, but that's in the past, what matters is what I do now! -and I will fight for our representation within this community until I know that things wont get worse, till I know for a fact that this cultish behavior will die down and that many more fans within this fanbase can feel safe to fight for what they beleive in again, not just this fandom, but anywhere I go as long as im here, alive!

But for that... here's the thread.

This fan then apologizing after not reading through with what I said/ only reading the "abuse" and "r^pe!" part and unlike Dirgentlemen, actually treid to understand what I was saying.

Dirgentlem's first respond, see how he is speaking to me here in comparison to the fan who actually read my post? This also being a response to my intitial comment.👆

"There will be no harassment!" That proved to be a lie, didnt it Dir?

Again- notice how like Vivziepop, that he only responded to the merch comment, aka something he could put out of context?

Regular Helluva Boss stan (I know, funny how he said he "hated" stans for bullying him for his representation as a Italian, but somehow the representation that he doesnt want to admit is being misrepresented here is something to "cry about!" 10/10 Criticism you got there... /s) levels of emotional manipulation and gaslighting.

"I have experinced trauma too." Ok, then respect other people's wishes to have their free speech and just.... block me? Like you're telling me you were going to do but didnt because your ego here matters more than how the representation effects other people here, and also, if you dont want to talk about this... block me! Dont try to silence people away from mentioning things like this in the thread at all like you somehow own the entire thread. What the hell?! If you didnt want to talk to me about this, why respond to a thread mentioning it and go on for hours about how "innapropiate!" it is to mention things like this in a thread- that's public, while trying to use me mentioning my trauma, at all, as a excuse to try to silence me away from calling you out on your behavior and disregard towards other victims on the subject matter! If you didnt want to talk about it- dont, and just leave me alone and let me leave instead of continuing with your fruitless accusations! Literally using the fact that people shame others for mentioning subjects like this, using the shame we have to deal with from the public to your advantage to hide away from your own reckless behavior!

But... to continue:

(Again, continuing to try to use my personal information to silence me away from my free speech, and also trying to use this trauma to manipulate me away from telling him the wrongs of his behavior, all the while refusing to address anything about what I as saying about how he was treating other victims in the situation! Literally weaponizing my trauma to keep himself from addressing how he was treating me, let alone even mentioning any of my other points, literal emotional manipulation and using the stigma towards mentioning our stories to your advantage, which again, hurts other victims of sexual harassment! When again- if you didnt feel comfortable with talking about it, you could have left! But didnt because the real reason why you were doing this was to deframe me with the stigma against mentioning this kind trauma publically so you could silence me away from telling you how innapropiate and disespectful your behavior was!)

"YOU THINK THIS WAS ABOUT ME!? IT WAS ABOUT THE BAD WRITING NOT MY REPRESENTATION!" Actually yes, it is, and the fact that you're Italian and the way it effected your representation.

You all dont beleive me?

It's literally right here, why even lie if what you did is public?

It seems useless, oh wait! It is useless, because it's right here!

Nice try! But not enought to cover your tracks...

But back to what I was saying...

"You made it personal." Actually no, I mentioned something about my life, once, and then you decided to have a whole conversation about how "innapropiate!" it is to mention what happened to me, forcing the conversation into being personal for your benefit.

Again, nice try, but I can see through what you're doing here, and it is nothing short of inconsiderate, deframing, and slander!

But to continue... again.

Literally- Dirgentlemen... if that's even your name! Again, you were only focused on insulting and deframing me! No criticism, even after I asked you what I did wrong- YOU made it personal, and then tried to mention your autism as guilt tripping, to manipulate me into feeling "wrong" for saying how the reason I write this way is because I have autism and have a hard time expressing how I feel with little words while saying no criticism to find a way to write in any other way!

You Dir, did not care about "feedback" here, if you did, you would have given me feedback that I asked for instead of verbally beating me to the ground over and over and OVER again to fit your own egotistical, selfish narrative to benefit yourself in the situation and only yourself. No feedback, no mentions of my other points, just weaponizing my trauma to benefit yourself and how your audience see's you. Which is why you continuined to weaponize what I went through and lied to keep your repuatation near perfect instead of admitting to how you treated me was wrong. Dirgentlemen, you my freind, are a liar, manipulator, and a egotistical bully! The very things you accused me of being, and more, for your own benefit! Because like Vivziepop, you only cherry pick and lie without any sympathy besides what will make you look good! This isnt criticism, not even constructive criticism, this is bullying! Plain and simple.

Again, mentioning that he's also autistic to guilt trip me. when I literally was only saying "Hey, im autistic and need details on social interaction sometimes, can you get me any advice?" and he just responded with "IM ALSO AUTISTIC!" as if that somehow invalidates me from talking about my experinces in public, a place he could have left and let me communicate to others in at any time! The same kind of "im autistic so it's ok for me to be as ableist and assertive towards you!" kind of mentality bootlickers in our community have. With the overall entitlemen of "Im putting you down for mentioning your trauma publically to benefit me, a someone of higher status! Im this so you also being that, as someone of lower status gives you no right to tell me of what ive done because of how "innapropiate!" you are to me for mentioning this in public! I will not be held accountable and you will leave and not tell me anything of what ive done wrong, I can leave at any time, but I dont care because what matters is to use your trauma to make you feel wrong for telling me that im deframing you and diregarding your point by refusing to mention it! Your word on your representation in the situation doesnt matter here, which is why im using you mentioning your trauma to silence you!"

It honestly feels like he was trying to make me not say anything about the show's representation so he tried to choose something to make me look bad for what I was saying, even if it was to harass me for speaking about my personal experinces in public by pretending as if he "owned" the place and made it look like I was "harassing" him by mentioning things about my life with words such as "drop it!" or "leave me alone!" in the middle of harassing me! Let's face it, Dir was only mentioning things like this to deframe me for mentioning something about the show that he didnt want to admit was there- aka, the bad representation, forcing me to continue in order to post as much evidence as possible, trying to invalidate me away from talking about my experinces to VARIOUS PEOPLE (one of which, apologized to me for doing similar to what Dir did!) ! but Dir purpoesly ignored that part.) in a PUBLIC SPACE to deframe me away from criticizing anything about the show that he wanted to deny existed with the "CRY ABOUT IT!" and "BE HURT SOMEWHERE ELSE!" comments to try to shame me away from having my own free speech and how I felt about the show because GOD FORBID /s anyone there has a different opinion than him on these things since they should "cry about it!" if they do like im a piece of garbage rather than a human being to consider. Invalidating me away from my free speech, shaming me for mentioning that "Im a sa victim and what you just said invalidated my representation and how it effects me!" (aka: the FIRST time I mentioned my personal experince, and would have been the only one if he didnt keep harassing me about it!) and overall being highly disrespectful towards both me, my representation, along with my personal information, and being highly manipulative whenever I responded to his disrespect and using my personal information as an excuse to try to silence me away from commenting on said disrespect, despite the fact that he easily could have left and choose to keep responding to me.

"You came to me."

Actually no, I didnt come to you for you to just treat me like shit and use my trauma to manipulate me into not saying how i feel about your blatant deframing of my character. I didnt come to be shit talked, I came to speak of a type of representation and how you're disregarding said representation with your clout motivated "groundbreaking!" nonsense, and to receive feedback. None of which you did, because the concept of constructive criticism didnt matter to you, it was the clout, the validation. The same way most of you Hazbin "Critics" and "Reaction videos" try to get clout off of the franchise without having any care for how bootlicking for Vivziepop will effect other people. You didnt care, which is why you kept going instead of considering how you were treating me, the representation of thousands of people, along with anyone else who has gave critique about Helluva Boss's representation!

"Is this your big moment?" God, again with the narcissim! This time with how he felt that the only reason anyone would talk to him here is for his subscriber count, feeling as if he was "higher" than me for doing so, and not the fact that he was harassing someone over a fictional character, that again- doesnt even exist!

As for the "man child" comment:

I apologized, because I wasnt here to harm, I was here to critique, not to put out my personal life for an hour and to have to fight for my rights by trying to push back his slander, but to critique! Because I- am a writer, a critic, an artist, and a human being and I will not fall just because you and any of the disgusting "fanbase" cult! Which isnt even all fans of HB in the first place! There is no "true fans of Vivziepop!" Vivziepop's "true fans" are a online cult that worship almost every move she makes and harass, abuse, and threaten any of the "non belivers" of her supposed "perfection." and accuse "jealousy" of anyone who fights back from her lack of desire for healthy positivity, research, or any change at all! that I will not let exist without accountability and neither will anyone else trying to do something about this. Vivziepop doesnt just have a fandom, but a cult that she leads with her own manipulation and deceit, and I will not stand for people continuing to get hurt within our community from these people, or anyone being discriminated or harmed for that matter. Ever!

Again, everything that involved things he couldnt twist had no reply while anything that he could use to twist my words- did! Because Dirgentlemen, I dont even want to call you a "gentlemen" or "polite" anymore after how you treated me, so "Dir", only wanted to reply for anything that he could use to manipulate people into not seeing the wrongs of his behavior. Not critique, or feedback, but bullying!

There is many more things within this thread, so this will continue within a reblog. As for the last post, ive added both the detail on how saying that someone is using "abuser language" could cause legal harm, along with the comments on how I was being "innapropiate" for telling him that I didnt want to be spoken in a demaning or disrespectful way in regards to my representation and how Helluva Boss effects said rep.

- and for that, for now, Im done!

Goodnight.

#helluva boss #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss fandom

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justmaghookit · 7 months

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2+3 for all sections

Baldur's Gate 3 Companion!Tav Ask List

General.

2. Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav?

I have thought about this So Much

Karlach and Wyll will comment that his accent is balduarian, Karlach especially will comment that he swears like the people she grew up around. Gale makes note that he seems a scholarly type and it'll be nice to have someone to discuss the arcane with. Lae'zel will admit that something about him makes her uneasy and if the tattoo on his neck comes up she's the only one that knows what it is, because its a symbol that only a single Gith knight has ever returned to tell of[The Friends are very active in the Astral Sea] she thinks he's dangerous, and she would be right! Shadowheart enjoys his company, but will comment that his insightfulness is borderline scary, though he seems the kind of person you can confide in. Astarion will tell you he's the kind of pretty face that will get you killed if you're not careful but that he seems useful to have around[they will have A Thing if you don't romance either of them]

3 answered here, sort of honestly deserves its own post break down

Story Specific

2. How do they advise the player character on Raphael?

Donnie will advise you in no uncertain terms that you should not deal with Raphael, that no matter how good the terms may seem a Devil will always come out on top in any deal, no matter what they say. If you speak to him about it again in act 3 and you're on good terms he'll admit he was ahem involved with the man in the past and will tell you Raphael is short sighted and quick tempered and well if you really really want that hammer... well Raphael never changed his locks so he can get you in to the House of Hope.

3. How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character?

Donnie doesn't judge nor does he kinkshame but he WILL ask you if you're comfortable telling him how it felt because he is honestly curious about it. Both in the scientific way and in the horny way

Romance

2. Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?

If you flirt Donnie will flirt back because he thinks its fun and he's the kinda guy who flirts with his friends, if you're serious about romancing him you'll have to be upfront about it though. He likes to be wined and dined and usually isn't the kind of person to be swept up in a romance in the middle of a high-stakes adventure. He's very clear with his boundaries, don't expect to be sleeping with him in act 1, if you try to pressure him he WILL slap you in front of all your party members. He wont approach you himself, because of the aforementioned isn't the kinda person to seek romance in a high stakes adventure, and honestly he doesn't really pursue people in general, mostly because its always ended in a broken heart or very bad decisions

3. Are they a polyamorous or a monogamous option?

He's polyamorous, but he expects you to communicate, if you're with him first and you sleep with someone else without telling him he will be upset with you, likewise the other way around. He wants to know where he stands with you and with the others. Do you want the relationship to be open? are you looking to be with two or more people equally? Do you want HIM to be involved with the other person[s] as well? You can tell him from the beginning you want a physically open relationship and he'll be fine with anything you do, he will ask that you make sure you're being safe about it and if you're NOT being safe about it by the gods have him on stand by in case anything tears. [looking at you halsin bear form YEOWCH]

#bird chatter #oc chatter #ask game

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donotlookatmyface · 2 years

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10.05.22 - 1 : 17 p.m.

i have been semi-active in dating apps, its been about a week or two since i downloaded and updated info in them. i havent met up with anyone, no one im honestly that i share common interest with. there is ALOT of non binary people so i thought that was kinda funny. at work i was talking to a coworker about dating, him telling me about his dating life and how theres certain problems now that hes in his 30′s. ideally, you would want to put all your eggs in one basket but, at the end of the day some things arent communicated with the other party and you can just end up worse, feeling like you wasted time. thats when it hit me that i am alone. i know i am “healing” and “finding myself” but i am alone. no one to share my rants with, i dont have a connection and i feel inadequate. i have overwhelming dreams of sex and how i would imagine what sex is like. i try not to masturbate since theres no satisfaction, nor will sex give it to me. i know im only 21, but even my parents ask about dating, “what ever happened to jellyfish?” / “you should go to <insert our country> and find you someone!” / “you should look for someone older” which i know it shouldn't bother me, and i do think i would want to marry someone with the same nationality as me since it would be easier for my family and keep in touch with my culture and all that.

for whatever reason i always, always expect to meet ‘the one’ when i get on dating apps, but honestly no one seems to like me. i dont know if its because im not extremely either feminine or masculine, im guessing my short hair isnt as appealing as it is compared to when i had longer hair, my personality or just my looks. no one really answers to texts, no one talks to me or seems at all that interested in holding conversation. maybe i look to plain and dont want to smoke weed.

i should be grateful that i dont have any issues but, my closest friends, in relationships, serious relationships. two of them are getting married and i plan to at least go to the court, they seem to be really happy together and honestly compliment each other, and obviously do actually love/care about each other.

i feel as if in a stump. there is not much i do, not many people i see, not clear ambitions, and simply feel plain. i know i will be in the future thinking how this was just a weird feeling i had for a couple months years ago, but i get to be dissatisfied in the time i am experiencing it. i shouldn't feel like the things i feel now dont matter because future me wont care or wont think they are important. maybe in the future it gets to be better or what i say now doesnt matter but why do i get to suffer when i get to be happy in a future.

i do want to go back to music writing, and just making songs again. maybe i will do something tomorrow. thing is, most of the time i do have an idea what i want to write about but i never have the right rhythm or flow i would want. i want to make something i am proud of and not rushed. something to help me talk about things or something that makes me happy, you know?

of course, i wouldnt say a have such a horrible life, i do like where i am now, as a person and economically. i have my family, i have a stronger bond with them and spend as much time as i can with them, i have my wonderful cats, i have a job that i dont completely hate <for now> and friends that arent mean and actually talk to me and wan to be around me as well me to them. i plan on going to college, by next year and its a two year program. i hope this way i will have more of an idea what i want to do art wise, either work in character design, game design, animation, production, all that jazz. i would have to be a part timer for a while, so i am trying my best to save up as much now so i have a bit of cash in case anything goes horribly wrong or theres an emergency or maybe just have late bills or any of the sort. oh also also, i weigh 117lbs now so im not underweight or starving myself hahaaaa and i actually look my age so :0 i am healthy.

ok bye

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my-misplaced-stew · 2 years

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My headcanons for each of the mercs + Miss Pauling

I'm not in a very writing mood so take some of my personal headcanons!

TW: Ask to tag

Scout

So you know how he drinks pretty much exclusively Bonk! ? Imagine what it does to his teeth! So to prevent his teeth from rotting out of his head he brushes his teeth at least 3 times a day, just to be safe. His ma definitely told him off if he went to long without brushing his teeth as a kid. She raised 8 kids! And dental care is expensive as all hell.

Pyro

They're like a crow when it comes to finding shiny stuff on the ground. If they see something glistening in the sun they will put it in a pocket to display in their room later. Doesn't matter if it's considered "trash" or not, if he likes it he will put it in his room! No if, ands or buts about it!

Soldier

Raccoon armys need to be prepared for anything! And they can't be prepared for anything is they're covered in dirt and trash! So Soldier gives all his raccoons a spa day every now and then. At first he tried to give them showers in the community showers but was swiftly banned from the showers with any animal. So he bought [and by bought I mean took from the display outside the store] a little plastic pool just for his raccoons. He fills it up with a hose then let's his little army play in the water.

Heavy

He's skilled at polishing all of his guns, not just Sasha. Sure he might not name all of his secondary weapons but that doesn't mean hes going to neglect them! Knows all the ins and outs of his weapons so he can take the best care of them. Finds the most efficient and quickest ways too. Over all the guy you want to go to if you need some help cleaning your gun, that is if you're close enough with him.

Engineer

So it's already canon that he can play the guitar. But I like to think he can play a few other instruments. Mainly stringed instruments, like the banjo, but he can also play the piano pretty well! Depends on what kind of mokd hes in but he can play a range from old saloon style music to some classical music. Doesn't play the piano very often because where the hell is there a piano in the base?

Demoman

Hes a huge fan of horror movies and horror stuff in general. He already enjoys stuff about cryptids so it makes sense that he loves the horror. Prefers to read as he can find places to stop incase he is interrupted, which is often. But sometimes he just likes to sit down with a bottle of scrumpy and watch a cheesy horror movie.

Medic

He has the skeleton he stole on display in his lab. Why would he even steal a skeleton if he was going to do something with it? It took a while for him to get it standing for the display but he eventually got it! Everyone thinks it's just another plastic skeleton because no one really put two and two together. That is until he mentioned he put the skeleton on display in his lab.

Sniper

It's so so tempting to just say he smokes weed cause it's funny but I wont. I promise. As a child he would go off into the surrounding forest around his house and not come back home until dinner time. He would just walk around, climb trees, poke dead animals with a stick. When he was 10 his parents got his his first bow so he would at least have something to fight with if worst came to worst. He would usually just shoot at the nearby trees until the sun came down.

Spy

He usually just sneaks into town to get stuff done, since there wouldn't be a way to keep a whole dry cleaning service hidden from everyone else. So he disguises himself as a normal citizen, hides his suits under some normal clothing, and then bribes the cleaner to hide the suits and to pretend he never existed. Comes back after a day or two to pick up his clothing, usually disguised as a completely different person. Always makes sure to switch up which dry cleaning business after a few times so no one can track him. He has a very strict plan everytime he needs to go into town.

Miss Pauling

Ok since there's no background info on her I kinda made her on myself. So I like to think that a relative of her's had a run in with the Administrator. Said relative did something bad enough for the Administrator to have them hunted down and to be killed. As kind of a olive branch to spare they're own life, they offered up Miss Pauling to become the Administrator's personal assistant. I believe Miss Pauling was around 17 during all this. The Administrator agreed to taking her in only to kill the relative after the deal was made. She had Miss Pauling trained and taught what to do. Fearing for her life, Miss Pauling pushed herself to her limits which worked in her favor. Now she works for the Administrator for the rest of her life because of a stupid mistake an even stupider relative made.

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 x reader #<--- not really but im tagging it as that anyway #tf2 headcanons #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 soldier #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 demoman #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #miss pauling

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princeanxious · 3 years

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New au idea just dropped: abducted by aliens + found family; familial anadukeceit addition with a twist:

tw: minor abducted by aliens, mentions of illegal scientific experimentation on a minor, general au theme following the rescues of ppl getting abducted, those are the big ones, lmk if i missed anything!

Virgil and Remus are normal adult humans that are part of a galactic crew that specializes in rescuing aliens that were abducted for black market trade and experimentation purposes and rehabilitating them

Janus is a young teenage human who'd been abducted and experiemented on for two years before his rescue, leaving him half-covered in abnormally healthy scales, sharp fangs and coldblooded-like qualities, and without a way to talk like he used to.(he can growl and hiss and whine ect., but they mostly ruined his ability to mimick sounds without it being painful and thus he cannot actually try to speak without pain.) He's not seen another live human in years, and is way too young to know how to cope with it, so he doesn't trust anything anymore and often comes off as extremely violent because he doesn't know whats a threat and what isnt, and isnt honestly sure hes not experiencing a vivid nightmare half the time.

Cue this team getting a report from a different rescue group about requesting help for a specific rescue from their mostly human rescue team, this time its about a small earth-like dealthworlder that had been discovered and rescued as one of the few surviving aliens from an illegal testing facility.

Report lists it as extremely volitile and hostile, but only when provoked(see: any attempt to interact with it). If left alone, it simply cowers in a corner and cries. There have been efforts to get it to eat that have only been semi successful due to the poor thing seemingly not being able to digest certain foods, and they worry it will simply die of starvation, or loneliness, if they cant get it's condition stable.

The reason theyre requesting Virgil's team is because the original rescue has never seen this kind of alien before, but it looks mostly human and thats the assumption. Humans are known to have high-packbonding instincts, and that persistence for kinship is pretty much this rescue's last hope.

To the humans, its a bit of a far leap seeing as they arent provided with any clear pictures of the thing, but its their job and theyre getting paid to do it, might as well try.

They.. They arent prepared to arrive to the sight of a child. Well, sort of child. A teenager? Whose regardless way too thin and quite too small to look anything but vastly unhealthy.

From his one side of his ribs curled up all the way around one side of his face and down that arm are rich yellow scales, that perhaps look like the healthiest part of him.

He wears a blindfold from his previous containment, and word has it the first alien to try and take it off was met with the worst lash-out yet and was still in recovery. They had kept it on him because he wont let anyone near take it off. It keeps him calm to be sightless, and its unfortunately all they can do to keep him that way.

And well, while Remus has always been the best at taming some of the wilyest deathworld creatures, its actually Virgil who has skill in taming those few labeled 'deadly.'

He sees this 'dangerous' behavior for what it really is.

Fear.

This is a child who is scared, terrified, and lashing out at anything that doesn't feel safe.

So you can imagine the brief uptic in nervous alien chatter from the main observation room when Virgil decides to walk straight into the containment room with no gear, no food, nothing but himself and his jacket.

Its a little jarring to hear a teenager hiss angrily at you, but Virgil used to Be That Teenager, so he doesn't really react. And he can see it when he speaks, using a soft and comforting voice, the way this kid freezes at being spoken to. In a langauge he understands.

"Hey buddy."

There's an immediate growl of uncertainty, pressing himself further away. Disbelief. It cant be, right? It's been 2 years since hes been in a room with another living human, there's no way.

..Right?

"Cmon now, none of that. It's just me here right now. My names Virgil."

He doesn't really want to believe it, that hes hearing another human. But he cant help the instinctual need to turn and hide the scales, the thing that makes him a freak of nature, no human would want him after what had been done to him.

Its a slow back and forth, really. Virgil asking a mundane question and getting some cautious hiss or growl or click in reply. But slowly, ever so slowly, the boy is relaxing.

"Can I reach my hand out? I wont touch you, okay? I want you to reach out too, if you're okay with that. We can move at your pace, okay?"

And maybe he gets a slightly petulant whine, but theres no aggression. Just. stress.

He holds his hand out, palm down, and waits. And is rewarded with an extrsmely shaky hand reaching out and grasping his own with a little fumbling. And then theres a pause, where the boy is taking thw time to register the hand.

Human.

And then the boy is all but flinging himself forward, blindly reaching out with a sob. Maybe some aliens in the observation room tense, but the humans in the room remain completely calm.

And now Virgil has a lap full of entirely too distraught child and no say in the matter, but thats fine. Hes content to just hold the poor thing and let the kid cry it out, god knows he needed this.

They learn this kids name, Janus, through some shake tracing of fingers on skin, then pen to paper. He's barely 16, and was abducted at age 14.

They learn one eye had been tampered with as well to match the scales, but all that was successful was a color change to yellow. It fortunately affects Janus's sight very little, except when hes tired and finds himself with migraines from his eyes being tired.

Janus is a special case, because he cant go back home, not with the things hes seen and experienced, as the galactic rescue is still a bit of a secret to earth. But hes a minor, so he cant very well join the rescue yet, even if he wanted to.

So, Virgil and Remus adopt him. Janus is more than happy about it, despite his struggles to show it.

They have a number of humans and humanoids on their team, one of which is a therapist named Emile(human), and another who is their navigator and unofficial translator named Remy(half-human).

Janus p much gets unofficially adopted by them as well, standing in as the cool uncles most likely, but through them he learns to deal with his trauma, and gets to learn how to communicate via galactic hand-sign language.

Sometimes a family can be a Team Rescue Group Leader, his Danger Tamer Chaotic Boyfriend, and their Half Danger-Noodle Half-Sassy Human Son, and two fun uncles who collectively know how to heal trauma and 47 different ways to say 'fuck you' in alien.

#sanders sides #anxceitmus #familial dukexiety #familial anxceit #anxceit #luka writes #luka's aus #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders

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kazuwhora · 3 years

Note

hello hello, i see your requests are open now and can i request izana, wakasa, chifuyu and kazutora with an akutagawa!s/o? hope you have a great day/noon/night! ✨🤗

hi anon! sure! I will try my best with izana and wakasa since there's not tons to work with personality wise so forgive me if theirs are a little shorter heh. im gonna include a little blurb from the bsd fandom wiki for anyone not familiar with his character! I like these kinds of headcanon requests so if anyone wants to see more please feel free to request!

"Akutagawa has a black and white "survival of the fittest" view of the world, claiming that weak people should die and give way to the stronger ones. He is not afraid of pain and defeat His ruthless, vicious nature makes him one of the Port Mafia's most dangerous members, feared by both ally and foe. As violent as he is, Akutagawa maintains a generally composed and detached approach. Towards subordinates and superiors alike, he acts aloof, distancing himself from social interactions however possible. Nonetheless, his composure is fragile. Akutagawa is quick to lash out, ridiculing him for risking the bounty by acting recklessly. This quick temper often gets in his way, fuelling his actions to the core of his very being."

SUMMARY: izana, wakasa, chifuyu, && kazutora with an akutagawa!so

CW: hints of toxicity and violence, mentions of sex but not really all that nsfw-ish so otherwise not much else!

IZANA

- this is an interesting one because from what we know about izana, he is very similar in personality to akutagawa in terms of ruthlessness that stems from childhood trauma and isolation.

- in the case of a s/o with this personality, I think it would be a troubling relationship. lots of bitter fights fuelled by nothing but an inability to express vulnerability, while leaving both of you torn up inside and begging for someone to nurture the trauma and allow space for emotions.

- that being said, with toxicity and trauma also comes intense passion and desire. this relationship brings a lot of fire both in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom, with simple arguments often spawning into intense desperate (and lengthy might I add) sex. like, intense. it's almost like sex is the only safe outlet of these pent up emotions, providing a sort of comfort and also distraction for both parties.

- however as I said in general, this is definitely a toxic relationship. one where neither can help the other when it comes to growth and improvement on a personal level. it's unhealthy and enabling, but for a short lived fling it is hot as fuck im not even gonna lie. lots of hate sex too.

WAKASA

- so wakasa is another interesting one alongside izana given the lack of information and content we have about his character so please excuse the slight kc fanon version I have in my head of wakasa lol

- wakasa has a "don't fuck with me because I do not fucking care" type of vibe to him. I definitely think he's the type to completely disengage from the type of behaviours an akutagawa-type s/o might display. this leads to sort of a sense of competitiveness in trying to get some kind of reaction from him, and it has the potential (much like izana) to become toxic in nature

- any attempts to get under his skin are failed attempts, and the way he looks at you with that half bored expression is something that only triggers more of a somewhat emotional response from you.

- with that being said, my fanon version of wakasa is someone who while cold and aloof, is also quite a rational person. he's been typed by the fandom as INTJ which is quite a quick thinker, and I think he probably (despite not showing it very well) has a soft spot for you. but your passion and intensity (as well as your easily triggered dynamic) keeps him from completely being able to express this care in any way other than not engaging with your antics

- as much as there are some similarities with the type of toxicity in this relationship with both wakasa and izana, the intense passion isn't quite the same as it is with izana. instead, feelings of passion are more to the point and driven by pure instinct and desire rather than toxic passion. wakasa seeming like a very literal person, is actually quite mysterious deep down and has a lot (I mean a lot) of hidden desires and kinks that begin to emerge with time. it's rarely a conversation, and more often just something that happens that surprises you. you just have to go with the flow here, and let him take the reigns for once. it might actually be a good opportunity to allow for vulnerability to take the spotlight for once, which is something wakasa is surprisingly in tune with and quite to the point about.

CHIFUYU

- this is something much healthier than the last two. chifuyu, being an enfp is someone that's able to handle this level of intensity in a person while still being able to understand what's really going on.

- call him the trauma counsellor king. he values each and every response to a trigger that you might have. he notices patterns, he makes mental notes of things, and he does this all without making it seem like he's analyzing.

- to be honest he actually loves the spunk you bring on a day to day level. even though most of the time it's driven by bitterness or hate (not always towards him just in general) he is still able to see beyond that and appreciate you for what you are.

- with that being said, chifuyu will not stand for any toxic behaviour towards him. no sir he will not. threats and pushes for fights wont be tolerated, and he will either disengage or try to expose your vulnerabilities in an attempt at forced submission. this can be hard to get used to, especially with having a personality characterized by the inability to accept being vulnerable. but with time chifuyu is one to create a safe space for you to allow yourself to feel emotions beyond anger and resentment, and he encourages this.

- because of this very feelings based approach, intimacy with chifuyu is just that: intimate. he's extremely loving and doting, hoping that his sweetness can rub off on you a little bit. however he's also very accepting of your need for power over him (especially during sex) and will absolutely submit to your needs in order to please you.

- he really likes to put you in a place of pleasure though, so however that may come to you chifuyu is the one to deliver it.

KAZUTORA

- oh boy. this one is a doozy. listen. if we're talking about timeskip kazutora (as is the case with all characters i write about but I feel it especially important to remind ppl of here given his history), we're talking about someone who is quite literally walking on eggshells in terms of his trauma and emotional vulnerability.

- he's pretty good at being emotionally aware of his needs and struggles as well as the needs and struggles of those around him, but that doesn't mean that he's entirely healed or capable of managing toxicity or his triggers. he still slips up from time to time especially when things get hard, and sometimes finds himself falling into his old patterns. after all, he's only human. but this is where things could get messy in a relationship.

- for the most part, like I said, he's pretty good. so let's focus on that part first since I want to give him credit where it's due. he is very desperate for love and dedicated to providing something to his partner. in this case, he will seek to tap into his emotional vulnerability to provide some sort of comfort for you. he wants to see you happy, and calm, because he sees so much of his old self in you that it gets to him sometimes. but at the same time, he struggles with your relentlessness and can become emotionally drained when things get tough. he'll beat himself up for not being good enough to help you, and this is when he'll isolate and fall into old patterns.

- however, akutagawa's personality type isn't all bad. with a s/o like akutagawa, comes an immense amount of protection and loyalty for their loved ones no matter how tough things might be. in this case it might be hard to communicate this, but there will be times when it's needed in order for kazutora to restrain from old habits and ways of dealing with hardships. but he wants to share his healing with you, he wants you to be happy, and more than anything he understands the struggle of wanting to be happy and healthy but being afraid of losing the one thing that makes you you: your attitude and relentlessness. nobody understands this better than kazutora, which is why things between you can get frustrating and very personal for him.

- much like chifuyu, sex is driven towards pleasing you and only you. chifuyu leans more into switch territory however, while kazutora is 100% submissive. in this case it works out well, however he has a lot of boundaries and limitations when it comes to the way in which you function. he doesn't like degradation. instead, he thrives from praise and any sign of love and care. this might be tough for you to execute 100% of the time, but when it comes down to it the way his eyes twinkle for you is enough to make the ice around your heart melt just a little more each time.

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lazyliars · 3 years

Text

The Quackity Meta: a Tale of Two Absolutes

More than anything else, Quackity wants control, and to never, ever lose his own autonomy. And that is why he despises Technoblade.

But wait, how is Technoblade a threat to Quackity's autonomy? Techno is all for individual freedom! He wants to eradicate the government so that no one can be controlled!

There's the question though... How do people exercise control within the framework of a video game like m/inec/raft?

“a person exercising power or control in a cruel, unreasonable, or arbitrary way.”

Power on the Dream SMP cannot be translated one-to-one with real life power. In real life, yes, a government had infinitely more power than an individual, for numerous reasons. But on the Dream SMP, the government's power is always directly tied to the power of the individuals who are willing to defend that power.

Technoblade is powerful. This is not debatable. How he uses this power, historically, has been a mix of generosity and self-interest*, although primarily the latter.

Generously, He gains resources and then distributes them to his allies during the Pogtopia Rebellion, gearing everyone up and giving them a fighting chance against Dream. However, in the aftermath of Tubbo's being appointed president, Techno turns on them, swiftly and mercilessly. The moment that it becomes clear** that Pogtopia's interests don't align with his own, he crushes them with the aim to prevent them from ever recovering.

( *I use self-interest as a neutral term here. Everyone on the SMP is selfish to some extent – it doesn't make them evil, and in fact has been treated as a positive at times, as well as a negative.

**I want to note that whether or not Technoblade knew of Pogtopia's goal of reinstating the government is unclear. It would seem that from Techno's POV that he didn't know, or assumed that it was a minority who wanted another government. But on the other hand, no one was actively lying to him about their intent, and people like Tommy and Quackity made their goals very clear. Further doubt is cast on the idea that Techno had no idea when you take into account that he enchanted the Netherite armor in the vault with worthless enchants like Fire Res.

Ultimately, there's no way to know until it is confirmed by cc!Techno himself, and it doesn't pertain that much to this analysis, but I'm aware that it's a hotly debated topic so I wanted to address it.)

It can be argued that Techno's destruction of L'manberg, both the first and especially the second time, was necessary. It can also be argued that it was cruel and a disproportionate retribution against both culpable and innocent parties. Extant of these arguments however, how does it feature into control?

Well, we can’t talk about control without mentioning the most controlling force on the server and the other person on Quackity's hitlist, Dream.

Dream is a tyrant. I don't think anyone can really make an argument against that in good faith at this point. He ticks off every box, no matter how vague or esoteric. This makes the interactions that Quackity and Techno have with him very interesting.

Quackity despises Dream. He's one of the earliest adopters of the hating-Dream-train, to the point that some people have compared him to Cassandra, a priestess who was cursed with the vision of prophecies that would always be true, but never believed. And indeed, Quackity's apprehension of Dream comes in as early as Pogtopia, and grows at a steady pace after the fact.

But despite his rightfully calling out Dream's hypocrisies and his controlling tendencies, Quackity was largely ignored on this front, especially when the time came to exile Tommy and Quackity basically predicted the next arc – If they gave Dream this concession, they would never be able to get out from under his thumb. Flash forwards to the Green Festival, and the moment Tubbo hands over the discs, any illusion of nicety drops and Dream proceeds to destroy them, side by side with...

Technoblade has always had an amiable relationship with Dream. From their first proper interaction on the server being Dream giving Techno some hefty resources, to their snap team-up on Doomsday, they've had a smooth time, with some notable bumps.

Techno fought against Dream during the Pogtopia rebellion, but when it became clear that Dream was more invested in chaos than his other allies, Techno temporarily allied with him to summon the Withers and drive the nail deeper into Manberg’s coffin.

The only time Techno has really bothered to challenge Dream directly is when he came for Tommy in exile. Techno went to great lengths to protect Tommy, hiding him and distracting Dream.

He did give Dream the option to call in his favor and take Tommy, but there are arguments to be made that he did this more as a challenge – that Tommy is worth the favor. Again, we probably wont ever know.

The difference in their relationships with Dream is polarizing. It also reflects the difference in personality – Quackity is an aggressive, ambitious person, whereas Techno leans more towards passivity and caution. Quackity is looking for enemies to challenge, where Techno is avoiding them, people who actually stand a chance against him most of all.

Technoblade is an individual with extraordinary amounts of power. Others have pointed out that he is rarely challenged by other characters or the narrative, and regardless of the merits or flaws in that, it paints him as nearly untouchable. His being in the good graces of Dream only adds to this.

And like with Dream, the only way that people have been able to threaten Techno is when they work together. The Butcher Army, for all it's flaws, managed to capture Techno through numbers – with Tubbo and Fundy (barely) holding off Techno's blood rage while Quackity snuck off to take Carl hostage. And they would have gotten away with it too, if the other most powerful person on the server hadn't stepped in – both by pointing Techno to a totem of undying in the days before the attack, and by getting Punz to cause a distraction and directing Techno to the final control room, where he could escape with Carl.

So, if the most powerful person in the world can only be threatened by people working together, and the most common form of organization is by government, then what does it say about Technoblade, who wants the government destroyed?

People like Tubbo, Fundy and yes, Quackity, all benefit from organizing and working together. They all tend to be less armed, less ready to defend themselves, and completely unable to stand up to titans like Techno and Dream on their own. It's safety in numbers, but it's also control, and control is power.

Ranboo's insistence that Snowchester is a Government is interesting when viewed through this lens. Ranboo is another person who is insanely rich, and able to defend himself and his belongings consistently. Ranboo doesn't need other people to defend him – he's living with Techno and Phil not out of necessity for his survival, but out of need for connection with others.

This seems to be the main difference he finds with Snowchester, which has a more structured environment, geared to defend itself and it's people, if harm should come their way.

Which makes sense, considering it's founder, Tubbo, holds no earthly belongings, and Jack, another prominent member, has made a character trait out of losing his things every other day. The two of them have no conceivable way to defend themselves against people who are stronger than they are. But together, holding the keys to nuclear armaments, they can suddenly play on the field of gods.

The anarchist commune, despite having all members working together and being on good terms, aren't really an organization, they're individuals with common goals and interests. They don't need to live together to be strong, they're all already strong, they choose to be near each other because they want to.

Snowchester is not a government and has no ruler, but together, it's members hold power. They have sway in the world when they work as a collective, and most members have a vested interest in keeping themselves and each other defended because of this. Consequently, the “identity” of Snowchester becomes more prominent, resulting in the flag, the uniforms and the, well, identity.

(Now, the more perceptive among you might have noticed that I basically just compared Techno Phil and Ranboo to the ultra rich 1%, which. Um. Is a pretty serious comparison to make about in a block game rp?

And I wanna say that I don’t think this was necessarily intentional on the parts of either the CCs or the characters, and beyond that, it’s just one way of examining the text. This analysis is by no means the “Right” way to view the story, just a different one.

Regardless...)

Techno uses his considerable power to further his own goals, first and foremost. This is not inherently good or evil, it just is.

Contrast with New L'manberg's cabinet; Four people, pooling their limited power to further their shared goals. Not good or evil, just a way of exercising power.

But power is not static. Power is fluid and changing, moreso now on the SMP than ever before, and Quackity and Technoblade are fighting to define what Power means going forwards.

Techno is fighting for the status quo, knowingly or not. Individuals with power should lead the world, and those without should strive to emulate their betters. He destroys all forms of government, which strip away the rights of the individual in exchange for hierarchy and consolidated power within that hierarchy.

At it's best, this is a very freeing ideology, where nothing and no one can hold back the individual. The world is your oyster if you are willing to work for it.

But at it's worst? “Violence is the only universal language,” is the key phrase. Where does this ideology leave people who aren't strong? Where does it leave those who cannot fend for themselves? If Violence is the only universal language, then the weak have no means to speak.

Quackity is fighting to get a foothold for a contrary ideology – One that prioritizes words over violence and offers alternative methods of gaining and exercising control, such as through currency and conversation. Quackity has tried to varying degrees of success to implement this on the level of his own individual power, such as during the elections, but his attempts at employing this on a grand scale have all been short-lived.

At it's best, this ideology can uplift anyone, regardless of their strength. It encourages more communication, more commerce, and thrives under, you guessed it, strong government.

At it's worst however, it creates a brutally controlling environment. Where a few people gain absurd amounts of power through the complex machinations of a fiat currency, and are then able to use their sway and influence with governing forces to exercise power that they would never be able to hold on their own.

Again, neither of these ideologies are inherently good or evil. They both have flaws and benefits, and benefit no one more than perhaps Techno and Quackity respectively, while hindering the other.

Techno is benefited by anarchy because he holds incredible amounts of individual power. He is the strongest person on the server, he is rich beyond anyone's wildest dreams, and on a meta level, he's straight up good at the game. The current status quo puts him firmly at the top of the food chain, and this is most obvious on Doomsday, when he and the other two most powerful individuals (Dream and Philza) come together and crush the combined forces of New L'manberg. They are not meaningfully challenged in any way, whatsoever.

Meanwhile, Quackity is deeply hindered by the current status quo. He's not strong, he's poor, and he's vulnerable to anyone who wants to bully him with brute force. On a meta level, cc!Quackity just straight up does not play m/inecraf/t as much as some of the other people that on the server. (To be clear, I do not mention that as a criticism, just to contrast Techno. Neither of their levels of play are better or worse for content, they just add to the experience differently.)

On the other hand, in a government? Quackity “Law Student” HQ is suddenly on top. He's charismatic enough to debate with Wilbur “Can Talk His Way out of Anything” Soot during the elections, and come out of that arena smelling like roses. Back during the days of El Rapids, Quackity held his men back from conflict with Dream, and talked him into a corner of technical truths where Dream had to concede that he viewed El Rapids as an independent nation if he wanted to get involved with their conflicts.

And Techno, while he is brilliant and an English Major, suddenly loses a lot of his intimidation factor if he has to respect laws preventing brutal murder. Techno can certainly debate, but his go to conflict resolution is usually violence, and if you take that away, you take away the threat of challenging him. Because make no mistake, challenging Technoblade right now? Is suicide.

And this duality, this grey morality and clash of ideals, is why Quackity is my favorite character on the SMP. He isn't strong. The power he holds is tenuous and balanced on a knife's edge. It would make more sense for him to stay quiet, keep his head down, and if anything, try to change things from the shadows, where he'll be in the least danger.

But he isn't quiet. He doesn't just challenge authority, he challenges the authority; Dream, Wilbur, and of course, Technoblade.

And in all but one of those matches, he's come out with a concession from his enemy gripped between his teeth. He schooled Wilbur in the debates. He forced Dream to grant El Rapids Independence at a time when he hadn't done so for New L'manberg.

But he failed miserably when he challenged Technoblade. Quackity lost that fight in the final control room before it began. He lost the moment he formed the Butcher Army. He would have lost if he managed to kill Technoblade, and he lost still when he died.

He lost because he conceded that the only way to achieve his goal was through violence. He decided that the only way to establish himself and New L'manberg as powerful? Was to kill Technoblade. And he lost that fight and he always will. There was never a way that he walked out of that fight with the victory; Quackity lost the ideological battle long ago.

But not the war.

As of writing this, Quackity is in the process of introducing an economy to the Dream SMP, on Sam's initiative. There is no action I can think of that is wiser for him to take right now. Now, when Dream has been deposed and there's a vacuum in power; Now, when people are getting tired of endless violence and the loss it brings; Now, when people are looking for something new.

An economy is a direct challenge to Might Makes Right. Trading, supply and demand, politics. It offers a new way for people to obtain resources and a direct alternative to brute force; other methods to pay for slights and breaches of honor and etiquette. No more will pet wars be fought with iron swords and shields, but with money! A healthy sum of cash for the murder of Fungi!

If Quackity can get this system off the ground (and with Sam's help, he definitely can,) the stage would suddenly be tilted in the favor of not just Quackity, but the people who he has associated himself with most closely – Tommy, Fundy, even Schlatt. They're all business men, all scammers. This could be Quackity's world, and he's damn well intending for everyone to live in it.

We’ll have to see what Techno thinks of this - Quackity hasn’t made any moves to start another government, and an economy doesn’t inherently contradict anarchy. But it does hold a potential threat to Techno’s current power.

And as for Quackity? What will he do once he’s at the top? Will he finally become a true tyrant? Will he usher in a new age of equality and justice? Or will he eschew all of that in favor of personal riches. For once, the cards are in Quackity's favor, and we might get the chance to see what he does when he holds real power.

#Dream SMP #Quackity #Technoblade #Ranboo #Dreamwastaken #Dream SMP analysis #lazytext #long post #its done its done i did it its done #ive been working on this for THREE WEEKS #THREE WEEKS OF CHECKING VODS AND WIKIS AND AAAAAAAAAAAAA #If theres typos I DONT CARE #I LIVE MY LIFE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

Text

Jack Bass x Younger!Reader || Oneshot

Title: Bass's.

Notes:

I have no idea when this is supposed to be set. Just go with it.

I have two things to say about Jack in this gif, though. 1. Does he not know how to carry a tray. And 2. I love this statement, here. Its like 'Bart's Dead, Chuck. I can barely contain my joy, Chuck. Its taking all my willpower, Chuck, to keep a monotonous expression. Also Chuck I am carrying a tray, do you see this?'

Plot: Bart Bass decides to be his creepy fucking self (Not that Jack is exponentially better in any way but whatever) towards you, Chuck's best friend- but thankfully, Jack accidentally walks in on the scene and gives you a get out of jail free card.

Good old 'lesser of two evils' shit. I love stuff like that.

Warnings: BART BASS being predatory, and a bit of age difference (You and Jack. I'm going by actors ages though so there's only a, like, 11 year age gap between him and Chuck which is not that bad if you ask me). Sexual references.

~~~

Chuck looks from his phone, that's flashing Blairs name, to you and your big, wide eyes and lips mouthing 'Don't you dare', then to his father quietly tapping away on his phone on the couch a few feet away... then back at his phone.

"Charles- " You hiss, prepared to threaten his very existence but he cuts you off first- slipping off the bar stool beside you and heading for the hallway.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Why am I friends with him again!? You think, but stay quiet and hope that Bart doesn't realise that you're back there despite having said hello to you earlier when he came in. You think, if you stay quiet like a mouse, he will forget your existence and keep texting until Chuck gets back- although, who knows how long he and Blair can go on for.

Depends what its about, honestly. If its about revenge or espionage... well, the conversation could last quite some time.

Should I just leave?

The impulse to run away is a strong one, as you sit there with your cheeks heating up and you start to feel nauseated. You never liked Bart Bass, from the moment you met him. Before that, actually. You had heard Chuck talking about him to Nate before you even became friends with them, and none of what you heard was good. And then you did meet him, one day when Chuck invited you over to do a school project. Or 'school project' as he so obnoxiously put it. You really did end up just doing a school project, though. Hence your friendship nowadays. Bart was creepy towards you even then, at 16 with terribly died hair and the wrong eyeshadow.

You've been very careful since then to never be alone with him like this. You would talk to him at parties if you were forced to, say hello to him when Chuck had you at his place and the man walked by, but that is the extent of your communication with the creep. Always, always, someone would be around. Chuck, mostly. But also staff, or Nate, or random fundraiser ladies, or Jack who Chuck the bastard never left alone with all willy-nilly like this, unfortunately, or Lily, or literally anyone else possible on the earth.

You've even hidden away in the men's bathroom, which is disgusting no matter how expensive the restaurant, with Nate before to get away from this man when Chuck once ditched you both at a dinner with him. And that's the story of how you got your first kiss, too, and it was from Nate Archibald. Hell yes.

That's how much this man makes you want to grab your bag and flee.

But you don't. You stay glued to your seat, super still, listening only to the tap-tap-tapping noises that Bart makes and the bump-bump-bump noises your heart is making right into your throbbing ears.

Until it stops.

Not the bump-bump-bumping, oh no. The tapping. And, nightmarishly, it's replaced by a groan and footsteps coming towards your turned back.

"Y/N," As soon as he says your name, his hands fall on your your shoulders and you literally jump under his touch. Shit- Shit- Fuck- what's happening- "I've been meaning to speak with you recently but Chuck- ah. Well you know him. He refused to share with me your telephone number. But I knew you'd turn up here at some point, so not to worry."

"Uh... right." You cant even force yourself to be your normal, cheery, polite self in this position. You just want him to get. off. of. you.

"Did you want a drink?" He asks, in that possibly cheery (But only because its slightly louder then his usual husk level) but mostly still scary voice he uses to convey emotion, letting go of you thankfully and rounding to the other side of the bar. You shake your head, though. He raises his brows, picking out a scotch for himself. "You don't drink? Shocking, seeing as you're friends with my son."

Oh I drink. You think, giving him a shrug. Just not in situations like this one. Also, what must he think of Chuck? Jesus Christ. For sure, your boy likes debauchery but what's wrong with that?

"Well, I like that." Bart pauses before pouring his drink, to appreciate you. "Mature."

Damn it. It makes your skin absolutely crawl.

"So... " You take a deep breath, tucking your hair back behind your ears rather then ruffling it back like you usually would to get it out of your face- lest that be recognised as some kind of extremely subtle form of flirting. God, fear makes you think weird things. "What did you want to discuss?"

"Oh- Just, your future. Where are you going to school? Will you be sticking close to us?"

Us? US? No, I'll be far far away, from you.

You don't really want to tell Bart where you're going to be going to school, because in your fear addled brain you know that that will just lead to 'Which campus?', or 'Where will you be staying?' and you really don't want it to go there.

You're just taking another, shakier deep breath, when the front door of the apartment opens and shuts loudly and set of feet trample down the hallway towards you. Immediately total relief plashes over you and you wipe your face. Oh, thank god.

Jack Bass appears in the doorway to the living room, looking as put-together yet somehow simultaneously still totally relaxed, as always, and forces aa polite smile onto his handsome face. "Brother. Y/N? Its good to see you."

You have no idea. "Good to see you too Jack. Uh- Chuck's in the bathroom."

"Thanks. For that... enlightening, information, Y/N. I needed that." You cheeks flare up in embarrassment, but ultimately you just roll your eyes as Jack flashes you a subtle wink, and turns promptly to his - much, - older brother. "Bart."

The older brother in question looks less then pleased at his baby brothers appearance in his home. Right now. And he possibly isn't thrilled about that little wink, either. Like you two are in on some kind of joke together. "Jack... What are you doing here?"

"Simmer down, bro. Just visiting." Even you know that that excuse is weak, but anything that comes out Jack's own monotonous voice right now is blessed where you're concerned so you certainly don't say anything. Or make any faces, which would be more appropriate. "Y/N, I don't think Bart-man here's too happy about my presence." Hm, no. You'd have to agree with that observation- not that you've looked up at Bart since Jack came in. You wont risk it. Jack glides through the room with the practised grace of a man who's lived 3 quarters of his life in suits and the other, happier quarter in board shorts, and ends up right next to your chair, an arm resting on the bench in front of you.

If you weren't already so nervous about Bart, you would blush about Jack.

"At least tell me you're glad to see me."

You grin, which is less forced then you thought it would be prior to trying it. Damn, he's good. You think, realising he just swepped in here and made you comfortable in less then 50 words. "Always, 'Uncle Jack'."

"Oh," He groans, like it physically pained him to hear you tease him like that. A tiny smirk even slips through his usually emotionless - well, not emotionless. He has one standing colour, that being sly, - stone statue of a face. "'Uncle Jack'- Please, stop. I'm barely a decade older then you."

That's enough to make anything else possible, inappropriate. Unfortunately. "Hey, I said I'm glad to see you." You wink, a bit sly yourself. "Count your blessings."

His grin widens a bit, like the dangerously charming Cheshire cat-type that he is. Genes that Chuck inherited, clearly, if his track record with girls say anything at all, but that Bart obviously missed out on. "You've got a point."

"She's a remarkable young woman." Bart pipes up, making your stomach tie itself up in knots again, and you immediately revert your gaze to your lap. Remarkable young woman... you want to barf. "Who, I was actually having a conversation with before you burst in here, unannounced." He takes a slow sip of his drink, then mutters. "And uninvited."

"Well that's great." Jack straightens up, clapping his hands together and finally showing his teeth in a smile. They're really freaken white, compared to his skin, deeply tanned by the hot Australian sun. "A visit would be kinda uncomfortable without a conversation; I'll join. I can converse with the best of 'em, Bart. I assure you."

"It was private." The old man sneers, thinking that he's got the upper hand on Jack, and all you can do is hope to god that he's wrong.

Jack turns his head back to look at you, and you meet his gaze tentatively. Your eyes scream, 'Please don't leave me alone with that guy'. He promptly looks back to Bart. "Well Bart why don't we ask the lady in the room what she wants? We are gentlemen here aren't we?" Then Jack makes a face, all crumpled up and unsure, for a moment. "Err. Well actually... 'gentleman' might be a bold faced lie. We'll ask anyway. Y/N! Do you mind if I weigh in here?"

"Not at all." You say quickly, flashing a tiny, thankful smile. He gives you another wink- this time actually subtle. So Bart didn't see it. Your smile gets a little bit bigger, relaxing. He's got you.

"Great." You watch him pull out the stool beside you, that Chuck - who has still not returned from his phone call with Blair. You assume some, likely cruel vengeance must be involved. Possibly involving that Humphrey guy, - had vacated and settles down in it. He then sets his arms firmly on the bench and looks up attentively at Bart, not breaking eye contact with him. Boy these Bass's like their stare downs. "So?" He prompts, expectantly. And a little arrogantly- a Bass speciality that you truly don't mind at all. "What's on the agenda, today?"

Bart glares heatedly, back.

Throughout the awkward discussion between the three of you, which your good friend Chuck has yet to return to discover - at this point you're resigned to him having climbed out the window and scaled the building probably, - , Jack constantly, skilfully changes the subject for you whenever Bart rears to close to somewhere uncomfortable. He makes jokes that make you laugh, he nudges you with his elbow at times - but never touches you any more then that, although you honestly wouldn't mind it if he did, - and takes the attention off you a lot. At times you truly thought you saw steam come out of Bart's ears.

When finally Bart gives up and excuses himself, saying he as an early dinner with Lily, you feel exhausted and relieved. After the door swings shut behind him, you cover your face with your hands and deeply sigh.

"So, what was that about? You looked like a trapped mouse. I recognise that look, I invented that look." You pull back slightly from your hands and glance over at him, to see him thoughtful for a moment. "Well, not by making it. By... causing... it... Either way, it was not good." He shakes his head, taking a sip of his own drink - scotch, - that he made Bart pour for him; Raising his eyebrows at you for an explanation over the rim of the glass.

Jack's always been great, like this. Even when he was horrible, he was the lesser of two evils between him and Bart. Good for a laugh and quality eye candy in a pinch- and that counts for a hell of a lot when it comes to surviving Bart Bass and the Upper East Side. And he had the power and pull of an adult, but knew what the hell was going on like one of you.

So he always made you feel at ease.

You ruffle your hair back, and sigh, straightening your back finally from their hunched over position they live in when you're uncomfortable and pushing back your shoulders. "He was just, saying some weird stuff... and Chuck disappeared to talk to Blair." At that, Jack nods in total understanding. Like ah, yeah. Got ya. Finally, you shrug. "He just makes me really uncomfortable. No offence, but I hate your brother."

As you watch Jack's eyes don't even flicker; He's totally on board with what you've said. Then he finishes the rest of his scotch in one gulp. "Ahh- I hate him too."

"As do we all." Chuck's voice suddenly pops up, as he appears in the doorway like Jack had earlier. You have to practice some serious self control so as to not laugh, at Chuck so coincidentally turning up again at the perfect moment to proclaim his hatred for his father. Jack grins back at Chuck coldly, nodding. Yeah. "Anyway, Y/N, I apologise but I'll be having to abandon you. Blair's waiting for me at her, empty, apartment." He pauses for a moment for dramatic effect, in perfect Chuck Bass fashion, and you roll your eyes, grinning. Jack smirks. "But you're welcome to stick around a while and help yourself to the amenities All on my tab, of course. Good to see you again, Jack." Then he pockets his phone and heads toward the door. The second Bass of the day leaves the building.

"Bye, nephew!" Jack waives as the elevator doors close behind Chuck then swiftly turns around back to you, to which you raise your eyebrows. "So, what do we do now?"

"I dunno." Shrugging you grin and turn your stool to angle your legs towards Jack. "When Chuck says those magical words 'All on my tab'," Those words, oh; You speak them with just as much raw, breathy sexual arousal as the man himself would. As the words demand. 'All on my tab'. Good lord, sex if they were words. "I tend to take advantage."

"An easy girl to please; That's what I like to see." Your cheeks flame up at those words out of Jack's mouth as he turns to look down at the room service menu. Yes, Jack Bass has toed the line, between platonic and flirtatious since the very moment you met the man... but that seemed a little bit more then toeing the line.

And you get a far different reaction to him doing it then you do the other Bass brother.

You don't even really mind the implications of his words.

"You're staying back with me?" You ask, feeling hopeful at the idea.

"Yeah well, I cant in, uh, good conscience," He makes a bit of a show to you, of pressing his hand to his chest totally earnestly as those words 'good conscience' come out of his mouth. "leave you here unguarded in case Bart comes back, can I? Besides, the way you said 'All on my tab'- man, you could sell moonshine at an AA meeting with that voice."

"Ha," You laugh, rolling your eyes and shaking your head. "Well, thanks."

"Oh. Don't thank me. You're just using what uh, your mama gave you. I actually encourage you totally, to do that more often- "

"No!" You exclaim, sighing in exasperation; But there is still a smile on your face you cant seem to shake. "For not leaving, today. When you walked in. It would've sucked if you had, not that I would've blamed you at all."

"Hey, just call me your knight in shining armour." He doesn't look up from the menu, flicking through it. Then turns to you with one of those beach boy/politician, toothless grins of his. "Besides you were automatically, my favourite person in the apartment. I mean, anyone with... uhhh- different, appendages to what I have, instantly gets a one-way ticket access to my rare bouts of chivalry. Now come over here, pick out what you want off here."

You just gape at him and that comment, making him stifle a laugh and return to the menu himself.

Bass's.

#Jack Bass #Jack Bass x Reader #Gossip Girl Jack Bass x Reader #Jack bass x Reader Oneshot #Bart Bass #Chuck Bass #Oneshot #Gossip Girl #Gossip Girl x Reader

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 3 years

Text

Attack Of The Winter Wolf: Reality Takes Over

Summary- 8.6k Alpha Steve x Little One Reader. Visiting the reformed Pierce Pack, now under a new Alpha’s leadership, Caine. The young Alpha has a few questions for Steve. You and Steve seem to have finally found them at peace, but it still reaffirms that now your home is with your mate. Unfortunately it all comes crashing down in a matter of moments. Divider made by @firefly-graphics

Warnings- Dominating Sex, violence, swears. This is an 18+ Blog

A/N- A friend sent me a GIF that inspired the sexual scene in this fic. If any should want to see the GIF, send me a DM as I wont be posting it on my page due to the content of it. Thank you so much for continuing reading The Packs journey in this next stage. Thoughts and Questions are always welcome. Happy Howling. 🐺💙

Chapter One / Masterlist

Steve had to admit that Caine had really changed it all around in the months he has taken over. His pack was more relaxed and open, no longer living with the fear of a crazy Alpha. Steve watched his Little One pausing every now and then to greet a former pack mate while he simply stayed nearby watching You interact with your old pack mates. Even though he knew You still carried connections with them, it wasn't the same because now you were his. You constantly danced back to him, your body seeing his reassuring touch, either taking his hand once more to weave your fingers with his or slipping under his shirt to press your palm to his back. It was all about the connection, You and the Little Wolf always establishing that bond. Steve felt a calmness wash over him at your desire to remain close. Every time a soft praising rumble would rise from him making you pleased.

Soon Caine and Kat found the two of you “Welcome back, thinking about staying here Y/N?” The woman teased as she loped her arm through yours on the opposite of Steve. You scoffed with a shake of your head.

“And give up all the work I did with him? Hell no.” You joked, patting Steve's chest and smirking up at him. He growled in a mock warning and nipped at your nose before letting You go with a nudge, which you split off with Kat, going to catch up. Steve and Caine watched the women for a moment till Caine broke the silence.

“This is a side I have never seen of Y/N, it's good.” Caine observed in which Steve turned his attention from You leaving him and cleared his throat.

“Well I'm sure she has the same observations as all of you. Not living in fear will work wonders. The whole pack looks pretty good. While we were walking around, everyone is so content here. Have nothing but to say how good an Alpha you are.”

Caine gave almost a youthful excited look at the comment before clearing his throat to gain his composure in the other Alphas presence.

<I like this kid.> The Wolf yipped in Steve’s mind and Steve had to agree, knowing just how dedicated Caine was to his pack, even when he was nothing more than a captive.

I do too, and Y/N trusts him.

“Well thank you Steve, that means a lot. We deserve to just be a pack, a real and proper one. That was actually kinda why I sent Y/N a text inviting you two over. You see Ross has been sending members here, trying to talk to me about the Accords.”

Steve rumbled slightly at the mention of Ross. He hadn't seen the council member since you ran him off last fall. And that was just fine by Steve, he already made it known that he wanted nothing to do with the Accords nor would be signing them to give up part of his control of his pack to the council.

“And what do you think about them Caine? I’m sure they left a copy for you to read over.” he questioned, and Caine gave a slight wrinkle of his forehead considering how to answer the question.

“Well, part of me wants to, as all of this to take care of seems almost overwhelming at times. I want nothing but the best for my Pack, but giving up the rights to finalize choices, letting the Council be able to override my decisions? Seems dangerous to give it up. They claim it's to further protect our safety, especially if an Alpha loses his sanity. Ross claims that is what happened to Pierce, was corrupted by Hydra and that nothing could be properly done, as Pierce had every right to do what he wanted being the Alpha.”

“Yeah fucking bullshit. Pierce never should have been an Alpha. I don’t know how he managed it.” Steve growled out angrily at Caine’s words. “And that supposed Council had everything they needed to step in, they just didn’t. They were waiting to see where Pierce could lead them, at the innocent wolves expense.” Steve shook his head, the Wolf now pacing in agitation for his human counterpart. Caine nodded in agreement.

“What I thought as well when the Senator was trying to feed me this. I told him I would think about it. But I don't think that this is the best thing for us. We are still trying to recover and it's just hard to trust anyone right now. Giving up as Alpha, it just seems to go against our very nature.”

“Go with what you feel in your gut Caine.” Steve said. “You know what is the best thing to do for your wolves, they trust you for a reason.” The new Alpha looked relieved at Steve, that he was actually doing the right thing after a lifetime of his family being mistreated.

Soldat jumped out of the van Clint managed to hot wire, switching vehicles every couple hundred miles in case they were being followed. The Alpha they had collected groaned as Soldat yanked on the chain, Pietro pushing her forward from behind. Soldat never even bothered to learn her name.

Her name didn't matter, she was just the mission.

The White Wolf licked his muzzle hungrily, eyeing the Alpha, feeling the challenge her Wolf’s presence brought. But she was subdued, after killing her mate, all fight in her left. It broke her. She followed behind Soldat obediently as Brock unlocked the door to the warehouse, dragging her in.

“A female this time.” Brock gripped her face, twisting it so she had to look at him, his sneer growing wider as it roamed up and down her, Alanna rolling her eyes from behind him.

“Not much of a looker if you ask me. How did she get to be Alpha?”

Brock ripped his fingers away from her face, jerking her head back. “Not all Alpha’s are built on strength. But they are weaker, easier to control. Isn't that right Sweetheart. Put her in the back... there's a free cage back there for her. Oh and Soldat, enjoy yourself with her… she's a fine piece of tail.”

Soldat didn't say anything, just grabbed the chain he was using to lead her and tug her away with him, the rest of the team dispersed to unload the van of their equipment and dispense of it.

Alanna cocked her head as she watched Soldat leave with their latest Alpha. “Why do you do that? Offer him those Alphas like he will actually take you up on it. If you want him to get laid, why not just order it?”

Brock watched before he turned to Alanna. “He’s programmed to only fuck his mate, if he ever chooses one, then we know. Another way to control him.”

“You really believe in that crock of shit? Soulmates?” Alanna snorted out and Brock snapped his teeth at her.

“I see Rogers was quick to drop you without a regret and he went halfway around the world leaving his pack behind to save his new mate.” He challenged her and Alanna snarled at him, her rage flaring at the mention of her former partner.

“Fuck you Brock.”

“Later Sweetheart, I got more important shit to do.” His hand whipped out and snatched her by the back of her neck, twisting till Alanna yelled in pain. “Don't you forget who owns your ass now Bitch, you got the pretty scar to prove it.” He dropped her to scramble at his feet while he stepped away, leaving her wiping her face dry from the tears of pain he caused, composing herself.

Brock whistled a cheery tune as he followed along after Soldat to see if he was going to take him up on his offer or not.

When Soldat shoved the Alpha in, Brock came up next to him, pulling out his phone to snap a picture of her to file away for later.

“Good work, I have another one for you to go for. Coordinates are already pinged to your device. This one should be easy for you, he is fairly new and you’ve met him before.” Soldat dug out his own device and pulled up the file, a picture of a younger man paired along with a black wolf, both man and beast shown. “Collect him and bring him here, kill off as many of the pack as you can.”

Soldat frowned a bit looking at it, studying it when he felt a haze of a memory rise up. Several people mingling in a hotel room, people he didn't recognize and a voice coming from nearby.

“If Natasha and Bucky hadn’t come… Thank You, to all of you.” The Black Wolf he was looking at right now laying on a bed looking like he had just been through a fight, panting heavily.

“It was the least we could do, I’m sorry we didn’t know earlier.” The same voice he had heard calling to him days before when retrieving the Alpha. The White Wolf shook his head aggravated and Brock's voice sharpened suddenly.

“Soldat! ANSWER ME.”

“Yes Sir, we will head out right away.”

It was much later when you returned with Kat. Caine and Steve were sharing beers with other wolves, talking about general stuff, Steve doing his best to answer questions, explaining how he made his pack an asset to the community, bringing in income to the sleepy town below there mountain. It all felt like back at home, that you quickly settled back in. You sidled up to Steve's side, which his hand rubbed at your side and he dropped a kiss to your temple. “Thought I was going to have to go look for you, Little One.” He chuckled and you grinned up at him, taking his beer from his hand and sipping from it.

“Like you didn't know where I was the whole time.” You scoffed and Steve shrugged, it was true. With your bond, as long as you two were nearby, it wasn't hard for either of you to find the other. The wolves easily slipped back and forth along that shared bond, tangling together in greeting and breaking out in play as you lightly nipped at Steve’s chest when you turned into him, pressing against his chest as he tightened his arm around you.

“Sure I did, doesn't mean I didn't want to go find you and drag you away all for myself.” His voice husked in your ear, a flattening of his palm against your lower back pressed your hips into his and you could feel exactly why.

Your hand smoothed against his pecs as you turned around, leaning back against his chest and taking another sip of the beer before giving it back to him. Steve's arm slung around your waist loosely while he nipped gently against your mark, making you tilt your head for him with a satisfied sigh before focusing once more on the small group milling around.

“Would you consider coming back Y/N?” someone asked, a woman named Tess that you knew vaguely from the short amount of time she was for sale. Steve growled lowly at the question and you chuckled while pushing your hair back to flash your neck.

“Most certainly not. You all will always be family, but I’m bonded with Steve now. My home is with him and where we decide to go together. Right now as Alpha, we’re staying in the mountains.” You stated and you felt Steve shuffle behind you, speaking up as well.

“As long as your Alpha is fine with us visiting, Y/N will come back whenever she wants to. I know you all are her family and wouldn't ever ask her to push that away.” You could feel your Little Wolf howling to her mate, the satisfied warmth of her happiness flooding through you and you couldn't feel more content then you were right now.

Caine was nearby, nuzzling up to Kat in a sneaky way. The two of them teasing at the edge of the group when suddenly Caine seemed to realize that the attention was on them from the others in the group.

“Of course, Y/N, this is your home whenever you want to come. As well as any of your pack.” He cleared his throat. Kat hid her face a bit, trying not to give them away.

“Thanks Caine.” You are quick to answer, deciding then that it was time to pull you and Steve away for the night, which made you twist to face him. “What do you say Alpha, ready to call it a night? I got something I want to show you.”

Steve arched a brow at you, seeing how you were biting your lip and giving him a playful look. He gave a wave of his hand as you ran your fingers along his stomach through his shirt, pulling away from him, making him choke back a growl at the loss of your touch. “Nice meeting you all, see you tomorrow.” he said before walking stiff legged away. The rest of the wolves chuckled among one another at him trying to not be obvious.

You sprinted ahead while Steve was saying goodbye, well away from the group now and sliding into the darkness of twilight quickly taking over and making the shade under the trees almost dark as night now. You could hear Steve quickly catching up to you, which made you put on a burst of speed. You weren't going back to the little cabin you two were calling home for the night. You wanted to play, wide awake and ready for your Alpha. Darting into the woods, you picked up speed to put more distance between you two and cupped your hands together around your mouth to give a soft howl, enticing him to come find you, hunt you down. The Little Wolf filled your mind, your eyes glimmering yellowed in the low light as you darted away from where you could hear Steve.

Well that is the point.

The Little Wolf’s laughter filled your senses as you darted around a tree trunk, your hands pressing against the rough bark as you peered around, looking for any sign of movement. All your senses flared as you listened carefully for anything. Then to your left a snap made you jump, and the Little Wolf pounded her front paws, yipping. <Run! Run!> Turning the opposite way you raced off, panting as you picked up speed.

When Steve first followed, he thought you would make straight for the cabin. But you had veered off, following your honeysuckle scent that he picked up and took the first step into the darkening woods. Inhaling deeply, it was filled with new scents. The sharpness of the pines, the fresh crushed needles where you passed through. The wolves who lived here mingled scent, and it was somewhat reminiscent of you when he first met you. But now… He drew it in deeper when he found yours, it was different, it was his. Warming in his lungs as he plucked it loose from everything else clashing his senses. It was the one that had that honeysuckle undertones, but now it was more intimate. It was a scent he was surrounded with when you pressed in against him, especially when you were just about to go into heat. A welcoming desired scent that left him aching hard and a smirk spread with a slight possessive growl rumbling through him now that he smelled it. Knowing that the sweetness would be dripping from you, his own honey pot.

“Little One, you better run, because you certainly can’t hide.” he whispered as his footfalls were heavy at first. He could hear a giggle that you tried to muffle as you darted around trees and swiftly turned into trails that you found. The ferns growing under the forest swayed with your movements, some leafy fronds getting crushed in the process. Your howl echoed and bounced around, but Steve was hot on your trail, not being deterred.

He saw you ahead, when you went around a particularly large trunk and Steve went to the right, quiet in his footfalls till he happened to finally managed to get around where you were trying to hide. You peered the opposite side, stretching a bit to look. Completely unaware of where Steve was. His fingers itched now to grab a hold of your waist, pull your ass back to grind against his hips, hear you shriek in surprise and fall back into his chest to look up at him with a grin. He knew how you would play this, trying to escape him with sweet kisses and wriggles to bolt again. As Steve attempted to sneak in closer, the pad of his foot happened to press against a twig and snapped it, making you twirl around on your toes wide eyed in surprise and Steve lunged forward to catch you, your back against the tree that was shielding you earlier and his arms caging on either side of your head.

A surprise growl rolled through you when Steve pressed himself against you, catching you efficiently between him and the tree. Your hands fisted in his shirt and your eyes flashed yellow up at him. Flops of his hair fell forward on his forehead as his head dipped to yours, teasing lust filled kisses nipping on your lips, tugging at each other hungrily with groans. “Gotcha Little One.” Steve whispered, trailing his nose against yours, and his eyes closed while he inhaled against you.

You dragged your teeth against your bottom lip while running your hands up his chest and fingers pressed through his beard to follow the sharp angle of his jaw. “You did Alpha, now what are you going to do about it?”

Steve let your warm honeyed scent arouse him further, a sticky sweet honeypot of a mess his Little One was and he wanted to get his mouth on you, wrap himself around you till the whole world fell away. A cheeky grin crinkled the corners of his eyes, his grin turning wolfish in nature as he growled at you. “The Big Bad Wolf will eat you up.”

Your head fell back as laughter burst out sharply, disrupting the quiet of the night. “Smooth Alpha.”

He nipped on your mark, turning that laughter into a distressed needy moan as Steve's hands smoothed the back of your thighs to lift you up and wrap your legs around him. Pressing his erection against your core. “I ain’t nothing if I ain't smooth ‘Mega.” He stated before claiming your lips and pressing the length of his chest into yours, stealing your air from your lungs, and making you fist a hand at the back of his head, getting lost in him.

Soldat scanned the small pack. Some of it felt familiar, but not enough for the Hydra Soldier to consider what it meant. This was just another hit on the list Brock had for his team to overtake. These wolves were lazy in the night time warmth. Lulled to think they were safe in their packs boundaries. The White Wolf flexed in Soldats mind, licking over his jaw in anticipation of hunting them down. Soldat tilted his head in the air, searching out what the scents could provide to him.

The only thing out of place was the scent of two Alphas here. One was young, still new in leading the pack, the one he was after. His control would be iffy at best over the wolves unless their loyalty was already cemented to him.

But the other stirred the White Wolf in Soldat. Making him flex anxiously a moment at the sensation. Another time, another place he knew this one. It lingered in his senses and he didn't like that. Making him clench his jaw as the White Wolf shook his fur in agitation, unsure of how he knew it. Brock's voice came over the comm in his ear, snapping out. “Is the team set Soldat?”

Soldat moved from his crouch, retreating back to where the others waited. “You all know what to do. There are two Alphas this time, go for the younger one, get the other if you can.” he told his team. Silently as always they dispersed. None of them questioned the fact that there were two Alphas. They had their orders, nothing else needed to be considered. Clint going one way through the trees, and the twins another. Wanda started to simmer red where her powers took an unnatural form, solidifying to cause harm instead of heal. Soldat shoved knives in various places in his kevlar and fitted a mask to his face for protection. That other Alpha, it still left Soldat and his Wolf unsettled for reasons he couldn't place while he prepared himself.

“Set and dispersed, starting extraction.” Soldat said into the comm, and not even thirty seconds later Pietro's snarls and howls started on the other side of the packs compound, Soldat came out of the trees, sniper rifle lifted aiming right for the sleeping group by the nearby bonfire.

Steve ground himself into you, his chest rumbling as his hands rubbed at your sides and cupped your breasts to squeeze and tease. Your head was tilted back against the tree, drawing in air best you could as your mate sucked on your neck, tracing his mark on you with his tongue, his dirty talk making you ache, and rolling your hips to create that friction. “Gonna fill you Little One. Stretch you open and leave you dripping my cum till you're pregnant with my pups.”

God that made your heart race, knowing that he was going to knot you against that tree. His hands kept tugging and making you arch your back, wanting him to get rid of your clothes now and really lay claim to your body. It was a whirlwind of sensations prickling your skin in a heated way.

But then you heard it, at first it barely registered when Steve sunk teeth into your collarbone. You almost ignored it, but the Little Wolf couldn't. She stirred through your hazed mind, making you focus again outside of your Alpha. Another howl, distressed. “Steve… wait.” You tugged at his hair to lift his head away, and he growled in warning at you that he didn't want to wait, but you pulled again.

He lifted away from where he was tasting your skin, stilling his body and frowning slightly while panting. “What's wrong Little One?”

“Listen Steve… something isn't right.” You loosened your hold now that you knew Steve was focusing on you and he tilted his head to listen. Inhaling deeply for any change in the air. He stepped back, letting you loosen your legs around his waist and slip to a stand. Cold chills laced up your spine, looking around as the night seemed to turn silent and dangerous.

<We gotta go back to Caine and the others.> The Little One pressed against the Alpha, who was rigid next to her, searching himself for what she sensed.

But did we actually hear anything? You looked around you, but Steve's hand shot out and caught your wrist in his hand to keep you from moving away from him. His eyes wide as he found what he was looking for.

“Bucky… he’s here.” The Alpha rumbled out and that's when the yells rang out, the sharp rings of gunfire.

“The others… we have to get back to the others Steve.” You tugged your wrist loose to sprint away and Steve lunged to catch you, but you were too quick, already streaking through the woods.

“Y/N! Come back!” Steve yelled as he took off after you. Shedding clothes as you raced, the urge to listen to your Alpha made you falter, but not enough to make you stop. Soon you were falling to all fours, faster to make it back as the Little Wolf and you put on a burst of speed that had everything a blur around you. Soon at your side was a streak of silver as the Alpha attempted to keep up with you on unfamiliar ground. Your twists made him skid heavily into the trees and brush, but he was never far behind as he tried to over take you and before you could burst into the chaos just out of sight of the tree line, he snatched your ruff and jerked you off your feet.

The Alpha twisted you underneath him, his jaws pinning you to the ground while you struggled, but he wouldn't loosen his hold until you stilled and your eyes rolled up to look at him, willing him to release you. He couldn't let you charge into the attack like this, and he loosened, nudging you to creep forward to see what laid beyond out of sight. Both of you stayed low to the ground slinking till breaking out from the forest to the underbrush to see what was going on.

Bodies, your old pack littered the ground and your whine echoed so loudly in distress that the Alpha flattened his ears and pressed against you before slinking along the edge, trying to find the attackers.

A heaviness filled Steve's chest because he knew exactly what he would find. His muscles coiled when he finally caught sight of Bucky, who was taking aim at Kat. She was unaware of him while trying to help the injured to their feet.

You crouched next to him, quivering in shock and anticipation at seeing the missing members of the Pack. The Alpha growled out an order, demanding you help the others. As well as stay away from Bucky, the danger to great to risk letting you go near him. Bucky obviously wasn't in control right now. Once the Alpha was sure you understood, he nuzzled you quickly and split away, leaving you to wait till he had the soldier distracted.

Soldat just happened to see the other Alpha coming at him before he could take his shot. Barely. He spun to block the large wolf from hitting him. Teeth sank into his meatal protected arm, the shield plates clinking together to hold up against the pressure of the bite and he heaved back, sending the wolf sprawling back. A smaller one bolted from their hiding spot, to reach the people he was just about to end. It didn't matter, one of the others would take care of them. Soldat turned his attention to the Alpha he had scented earlier, the one who didnt belong here.

The Silver Wolf pushed back to his feet, his chest rising and falling with each inhale. Soldat knew he was scenting him, assuming it was for the animal to figure out what he was. Swinging the rifle over his shoulder to move it out of the way, he grasped for his belt to pull out a collar. The Wolf's ears flicked forward to what was in his hand and turned wary, stalking out of Soldat's reach. A low growl rippled through him, and the White Wolf ached to submit for just a moment, but it was easy to brush it away.

Why did you stall?

The White Wolf shook himself off, snarling out. <We have our orders.> Soldat heard the waver in him but started towards the Alpha. The Alpha matched his movements, picking up speed in his gait to collide back with him. <This ones got some balls.> Soldat heard the White Wolf remark.

All the more reason to get him collared and under control.

And just before they reached one another, the Alpha darted around him, making Soldat spin just to have the Alpha tackle him once more, teeth sinking into the kevlar of his suit. There was enough force to feel the bite, but nothing that could do damage. Fistfuls of fur was grabbed trying to wrestle him away and attempt to maneuver the collar around his neck. The Alpha managed to twist out of his hold in time and Soldat yanked a knife from a hidden spot, swinging it in an aim at the animal, trying to sink it into a vulnerable spot. Instead it grazed him, a spurt of red following the blades descent through its fur. A furious snarl demanding him to submit filled the air before man and wolf collided again.

You were busy helping Kat try to get the others away, stalling for a moment when you saw Clint emerging from out of nowhere, his aim sighted on you and the others. He was just about to let loose when you saw Caine get dragged towards him, collared now. Seeing that they had that packs Alpha, he dropped his bow and followed along with Pietro and Wanda. Unsure of what to do, Steve had demanded you only be to help and stay out of the actual fighting before breaking from cover earlier. The Omega in you wanting to obey her Alpha, keep pushing others to go into hiding like Steve wanted.

But these were your missing pack mates, and they were causing all the destruction. Everything in your senses screamed at you to go for them, as well as go back into hiding with Kat and the other survivors. Then the hot scent of blood hit you, your Alphas blood. All other thoughts left you as your nose lifted to find him.

It was being hit in the worst way possible, stinging your senses with fear as you broke from Steve's earlier command. Long leaps ate up the ground as you sought him out. You found him trying to bite at Bucky's neck before being thrown to the ground in a way that vibrated the ground, a knee dropping to his ribs while Bucky collapsed full force on him, a flash of silver in his hand let you know. Steve was just about to be collared.

The whole world just zeroes in on that moment, if you can't get there fast enough, you might lose Steve. He might be able to break free from Bucky's hold before the collar is attached. But you can't take that chance, and you make a grab for Bucky's wrist, closing fangs around the metal plates and wrenching back. Catching both of them by surprise, your back paws dig in for traction as you whip your head back and forth in a move meant to snap an animal's neck. It's enough to surprise Bucky and make him fall off the Alpha, the both of you tumbling away. It did earn you a well placed kick to your skull, which caused you to yelp while stunning you.

The Alpha pushed himself up once Bucky rolled off him, unsure of what caused him to let go, but the Alpha wasn’t going to let him get the chance again. The yelp made the hair raise on his back, now seeing the reason Bucky released him.

You disobeyed him, which resulted in your head getting kicked at and you crumpling to the ground in shock. The Alphas rage at your expense caused him to roar in fury, a whirlwind of fury attacking his best friend.

The Alpha managed to back Soldat up, covering your smaller form with his body. The Alpha bristled, his muzzle rolling up to show fangs and ears pinned back flat against his skull, warning him back. Soldat stalled again with the sensation he was supposed to listen to this Alpha, shaking his head to clear the impulsion.

“You got one of the Alpha’s, leave him.” Brock's voice screamed in Soldats ear, clearing it from the impulse. Soldat took off at a run, leaving the two of them behind.

You push yourself back to a shaky stand, having the wind knocked out of you and the kick disoriented you when the steel toe boots connected to your skull. The Alpha watched Bucky race away with perked ears, the shiver rolling through him controlling his urge to follow him, but he turned away from his best friend back to you. Padding over, the Alpha was quick to check you over, his muzzle pressing against your side to make sure nothing was broken till he nudged at your shoulder, getting you to move. When you started towards the injured, he growled sharply, making you falter and lower a bit in submission, unsure of what he wanted.

Coolly he pressed you the opposite way, towards the cabin you two were staying at for the time being. The Alpha didn't let up, keeping you heading away from the others and back to the safety of the cabin.

Steve had never had to quell such scared anger in his life, far more than when you had gone off the road that winter. It was raging hot that he could have lost you to Bucky, so easily. After he told you to stay away from Bucky, in that state the White Wolf would have easily snapped your neck if he got a hold of you. Because that wasn't Bucky, their packmate, his brother. Something happened to him.

You darted into the cabin and Steve was right behind you, the both of you racing up the stairs to the bedroom where you both shifted back almost on cue with one another. You grabbed at clothing, starting to tug them on. “We have to go back out there Steve, find them and the others.”

Steve was doing the same, but he was quick to turn towards you, his eyes still glinting hints of burning yellow while he ground out.

“You are staying here.”

You straightened and lifted your chin a bit when you heard Steve's command. The Little Wolf lowered to the ground hearing her Alpha’s command, but you simply weren’t going to accept that without finding out why you couldn't go help your former packmates. “I’m sure as hell not staying here Steve.” You hiss a bit while heading for the door. Steve was quicker though, his hand circling around your upper arm and tightening enough to pull you to a stop and back into the room. “Let me go Steven!” You try pulling out of his hold, but his hold tightened until he backed you onto the bed.

“I told you once Little One. Stay the fuck here.” His teeth snapped at his words and there was just anger in his features hiding his fear.. Fear that he could have lost you was clouding his mind with jagged memories of Pierce sticking you with that needle and he was that close to losing control and attacking Bucky then. Steve knew that if Bucky hurt you this time in any way, he wouldn't be able to control himself. No one would be safe.

You protested though, going to push against him while your voice raised in your own anger at trying to be controlled, unable to help the others. “Steve you can't-”

This time he roared out, the tendons in his neck rigid and his tone going deep and snarling at you in a way you had never seen before and you shrunk back suddenly from him. “As your Alpha I am, if you know what's good for you Y/N, stay in this cabin. That's an order.”

You hissed at him in anger from between clenched teeth. “You are going to have to make me submit Steve.”

If he had to, he would. Steve almost lost you once, so close… and that was all before you two even bonded. He was ready to lose himself back then and let the Alpha take over. It was an overwhelming sense of loss that sunk in his chest. Needing to push it away, he closed the gap between you two, pressing you back onto the bed in surprise while his lips claimed your own, searing them heatedly, and the shock made you growl against him, grasping his hair to hold on.

Steve kept the pressure, ready to make you submit to him completely. Hands grasped at your thighs, still clothed but he didn't care at this second. Wrapping them around his waist as he kissed you senseless, he easily maneuvered you up the bed, growling harshly when you tightened your hold, pulling his hair at the roots when you grabbed onto his head.

It all happened so suddenly that you could only hang while he maneuvered you to where he wanted you, blinking up at him in shock for a second when he pulled away to pant above you. Locked gazes, you arched up to meet him again, pulling at his shirt to rip at it, his hands doing the exact same to you. Shreds of clothing got tossed away as you both withered against one another. You bit into Steve's shoulder when he rutted himself against you. “You will listen Y/N, You have no choice in this.” he snarled out against your neck.

It was a heated spiral in your limbs, burning in your gut. Echoing in your mind was the Little Wolf snapping and yipping at the Alpha. You pushed against Steve to rub yourself into him, snarling against his ear. “Then do it!” It was animalistic the way he bit at your mark, making you gasp between pleasure and pain while dragging you closer till you felt him everywhere except where you needed him. Slick coated your thighs while his cock dragged against your thigh. “You want to make me listen so badly, here I am.” Another roll of your body and he pulled away to run his hands up your withering body, palms covering your breasts and marking the swells.

Before you knew it, you were flipped to your belly, Steve snapping your hips up in the air, the curve in your back sharp as you clutched at the bedding to scream your frustrations into the mattress, you were furious at Steve for commanding you to stay, and the way your body betrayed you. You could break it, but you didn't want to defy him. You had spent a lifetime going against your instincts protecting yourself, now it was time to trust for once. Steve was different, it was because he loved you to keep you safe, not use you.

He growled above you and you pressed back against him, feeling his hands wrap tightly around your hips and rock you back into position. “I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you.”

You clenched at his words, lifting your head enough to speak without being muffled in the bedding. “Fine Steve, I'm not going anywhere.” You felt yourself finally give into him, not because you couldn't break that bond, but you didn't want to. It ached too much to defy him when it meant so much to him even though it infuriated you to do so.

His hand circled to dip between your thighs, teasing between your folds as he bit your shoulder, holding you still with his other hand while thrusting his cock into your weeping entrance and spreading you open in a sharp sting that made you cry out sharply. His thrusts were quick and dominating, leaving you withering in his hold while fingers strummed your clit and his chest crushed against your back. Grunting growls and slapping skin filled the room, words becoming meaningless between you two.

It was such a primal moment, one complete with trust as neither of you could do anything but seek connection and pleasure from one another. You felt the rush of your orgasm wash over you, crying Steves name with tears in your eyes.

Steve wasn't ready to slow down, feeling you break apart under him just made him go faster, his hand covered in your arousal flushed up your body to fondle your breast, pulling at your nipple and squeezing while he pulled you both up to your knees. It just solidified for him that he needed you, just like this all for him. You arched before him, one hand reaching behind you to grasp the back of his neck, and the other covering his hand clasped over your chest. He still rutted into you, biting your shoulder enough to keep you still while he pounded himself into you.

For You, you had never felt him so entangled in you, holding you to him so that not only did you feel him physically, but mentally. Everything he felt, feared, and needed was just an overflow of information in your bond, and it took such complete control that rational thought was impossible. All you could respond to was the way he dragged out your moans and cries, his grunts into your skin as he slapped against your backside, and punched the air from your lungs when your next orgasm turned the edges of your vision black.

“Steve, I can't…” You begged and he groaned against your mark, his tongue sweeping over the sting of the bite he left, sure you were scented with him.

“You can Little One, I have you.” He assured you as his hard thrusts turned into heavy drags through your sensitive walls that were clenching and trying to hang onto him while he so easily pushed through you to bury to the hilt.

You pushed back into him when he ground into you, the two of you falling back so you were sprawled against his chest, his arm latching over your chest to keep you in place while his feet planted against the bed. Able to leverage himself into filling you so complete, your nails dug into his forearm stretched across you and tears streamed down your face. Your body felt wrung out, not able to give him that last one he wanted.

There was no denying in this moment no matter what way Steve took you, he was in control of you, and you were just able to hold on.

You felt his knot swell, stretching inside of you while he filled you with himself, warm against your aching channel, your body milked him, claiming every burst Steve gave with a growl of your own till it all stopped. Underneath you he calmed, his arm still heavy across your chest, but he was still except for heavy dragging breaths against your neck and your own pants as your head tipped back into his shoulder, staring upwards.

“I promise, I won't leave.”

“Good Girl.” He muttered, still hints of dominating presence in his tone, but it wasn't fear now, but acceptance. Steve managed to roll you onto the bed and his hands rubbed at your side to lull you into closing your eyes to relax in the aftermath. When he pulled out, you whimpered into the pillows, clenching your fingers into the fabric.

“Just rest… I will be back soon.” He nipped at your neck, with that he moved off the bed to grab at his clothing and get dressed while you curled up on the mattress. Your body was tired and is fogging your mind trying to pull you into sleep. The last thing you felt was the scrape of his beard against your cheek as he kissed your temple and left you, his boots heavy thuds down the stairs and the slam of the front door left you alone in the bedroom, slipping finally into a fitful sleep.

The Little Wolf whined loudly after a while, leaving it echoing through your body, distressed that the Alpha was going out on his own, leaving you locked here and had been angry at your defiance. It also effectively woke you back up after a quick nap.

He will be okay. You assured her as you stretched back to a stand and went down the stairs to look out the window, watching for Steve to come back. He must be following Bucky’s trail. What happened to them?

<Hydra… Didn’t you see the collar around Bucky's neck? He's being controlled. If he's being controlled Steve isn't safe going after him alone.> The Little Wolf paced back and forth, anxious with wanting to obey her Alphas command and going to help her Mate in his hunt.

Your fingers curled around the front doors handle a moment, the internal battle making your throat close and eyes well up as you turn away from the door. You would respect your Mates order, as much as it left you scared to do so.

Steve jogged in the forest following Bucky’s scent, quickly picking up the other members of his team as they all met back up at some point. There were also many other scents where other Wolves had passed through, probably in their bid to get away from his missing packmates. Steve pulled out his phone, dialing Natasha as he came stumbling out to a dirt road, and that's where the trail ended. Fresh tire wheels showing where a heavy vehicle sped off.

The ringing of the phone was soon cut with Natasha's voice. “Steve? What’s wrong, why are you calling so late?”

“Nat are you near Y/N’s old pack?” He questioned as he leaned down to look at the tire marks, looking for anything distinct to go on, but he was quick to straighten back up. They were long gone, with Caine he suspected. Just like the other attacks Steve had heard about. For some reason they were taking the packs Alphas.

“Not too far off, why? Where are You and Y/N?” Natasha asked then and Steve confirmed where they were. “I will be right there.”

“Just come right in, Bucky and everyone just hit this area, took off with Caine.”

“Are you guys okay?” Her first concern being for you and Steve.

“Were fine, Y/N is back at the cabin we were staying at and I followed Bucky’s trail to where it ended. They must be holed up somewhere nearby.”

After hanging up, Steve took one last look around the area, and then headed back towards the compound. It would be a bit until Natasha showed up, and he knew he would have to talk to you now that his temper had calmed somewhat.

That wasn't Bucky… or Clint, Wanda, Pietro… Steve thought, and the Alpha growled softly in agreement. They did something to them, controlling them.

Steve’s chest tightened, knowing exactly what the Alpha was talking about. Back in his days working with Howling Commandos they ran into a similar instance before. A group of renegade wolves making their way across Europe destroying not just other shifters, but humans as well in the most vicious way. They managed to disband most of them.

The one that got away, he was the only one to break the control Hydra had on him. Steve recalled.

It was something to consider Steve thought to himself as he made his way back to the cabin, easing the door open to the quiet of the cabin. The Alpha quieted in his mind as Steve let his senses open, feeling for you. He was quick to hear you shifting in the bed upstairs, rolling to your side and not actually getting any rest. An outward exhale of relief you were still safe escaped Steve as he started up the stairs.

You heard Steve come into the house and pushed to sit up when he appeared in the doorway, his eyes roving you up and down, making you feel a bit small after the earlier altercation. Your legs curled up under you at the edge of the mattress, your hands folding into your lap as your head tipped, a typical submissive pose for either your mate of Alpha. “Oh Little One…” Steve started as he came into the bedroom, moving to kneel before you on the floor, his hands sliding along your folded knees and easing up along your bare thighs. “I only did it because I had to.”

Your eyes lifted and a frown fluttered across your face.

“Had to? Steve I’m your mate and partner, you can't just keep me safe all the time.”

A soft growl rose up as he pressed his mouth to your knee, his eyes lifting with a tint of yellow in them, the Alpha so close to the surface while discussing your safety. “Can’t I? As your mate and Alpha, it's taking everything in me now not to bring you back home.” Your hands reached to cup his face, scraping slightly through his beard and spreading against his cheeks. A swipe of your thumb under his tired looking eyes.

“You know I wouldn’t go Steve.” You wrinkled your nose at him slightly and he shifted to nip the top of your thighs, you moved to unfold your legs and let them drape off the edge of the bed, your foot rubbing against Steve's ribs gently. “I can’t just leave them.”

“Still doesn’t change how I have the drive to keep you safe.” Another inhale against your thigh, light bite as Steve tasted you with a press of his tongue. “All I could think of is how I almost lost you with Pierce. Bucky is not Pierce, he's strong, more efficient, and dangerous because he’s being controlled.”

Your knees pressed against his sides and your hold tightened on his jawline to lift him from your lap so he would look at you. “And what about you Alpha? What do you think it does to me when you rush off into danger and I can't be there with you?” You felt Steve's fingers dig slightly into your hips while your words sunk in, the yellow tinge backing away as his Alpha retreated and the crystal blue sharpened. You knew it would pain Steve to think that he had caused you any distress. The Little Wolf whined, her ears flattening while seeing all this being processed.

Steve could feel the Alpha try to keep calm, respect the bond by waiting to be invited before going to his mate. Steve could imagine what you would feel being told to stay while he went into a dangerous situation.

He knew what it did to him, the bile of fear raising up in his throat once more, it wasn't something he was familiar with. Fear didn't live in Steve’s body, not till he had you, then suddenly he really did have something to fear, losing you for good. That all was sunk down deep into him from the first time, maybe he had a problem he never knew he had. That worried him to be so irrational, he couldn't let it control him, because it would just end up pushing you away.

Taking a dragging breath, he pushed up from where he was kneeling on the floor and sat next to you on the bed, you twisted to face him and crawl onto his lap till you were straddled, your arms around his neck, knowing that you had just ripped off a bandaid of sorts. “I’m sorry Little One, I put your safety first in my mind and nothing else. It will end up happening again.”

Your forehead tipped to lean against his, sighing softly as your fingers trailed down the back of his neck and back up.

“Steve, I'm not just your mate, I'm your partner. Where you go, I go to. You can't always keep me out of the way of what you deem dangerous.”

The silence stretched between you two, unable to give each other what the other wanted entirely here.

#attack of the winter wolf #alpha steve rogers #steve rogers x you #steve rogers au #steve rogers x reader #white wolf #bucky barnes #winter soldier #the pack #amber writes #sweater writes #marvel au #shifter steve rogers #shifter bucky barnes #a/b/o

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atlantic-ambience · 2 years

Text

you’re going to get tired at 20

you’re going to want to give up

all the nights staying awake to write a damn paper about Freud or Socrates or Whatever His Damn Name Is it doens’t really matter

doing all this to chase nights where you’ll create memories that will last forever but really you can’t even remember them when you wake up

20 is yelling at your roommates to clean their dishes and also wishing you had the funds to eat meals like them

its being disappointed that you aren’t making friends as fast as freshman year but also cherishing the good ones you’ve found that haven’t left yet

reaching an all time high and the next day finding yourself at the loneliest place called rock bottom

but what they dont tell you about 20 is that realizing rock bottom can be a beautiful place too

because just when you are about give in to the pain of it all a beam of light shines into the abyss signaling that you won’t be there forever

you then become thankful that you’ve made the scary journey to the depths of your all time low

because the only place you can go from there is up and the contrast feels damn good

20 is finding the boy that finally treats you right after falling in love twice before and then realizing you aren’t ready for his love

why? why is he everything i want and need on paper but our compatibility is the kind of ink that is just meant to stay on paper and never leave that plane

its not about learning what love is and isnt meant for you but its realizing you havent gotten to know yourself enough to know whats best for you

20 is about romanticizing about building a house in the North East with that boy you let go of to make you more excited about the future

its about creating a happy distraction that will prevent you from returning to rock bottom

if only we could paint our bedroom Sage Green and cook lemon pasta in the kitchen together

20 is about realizing your role models aren’t as perfect as you want them to be

doing everything in your power to protect your inner child

its about compartmentalizing the trauma to pretend like everything is the same

my childhood was stable and my current life is too

then suddenly learning this lie was more damaging to my inner child more than anything and you just need to face the music

20 is about reminding yourself of the people in your past life that will always be there

and getting the horrible feeling that they are not who they used to be and you are left with nothing but your lonely self

but then remembering that your mind can lie to you and this is the worst betrayal you can experience

20 is learning to be patient

flipping that slow Grandma off driving in front of you wont get you there any faster

texting the wrong people impulsively because your emotional wont make your emotions any better the next day

but most importantly its about learning how to be patient with yourself

you dont need to rush to answer your phone, they can wait a few more minutes

you dont need to rush your healing process, life is right in front of you

20 is understanding empathy towards people around you

getting angry at your friend for not being there during your time of grief does not mean she doesn’t care

it means shes probably grieving in her own way too and she deserves more communication

be there for her the way you’d want other to be there for you too

she may need a rope to pull her up from rock bottom

20 is about academic and professional success

finally achieving straight As but forgetting you need to work even harder next time to do it again

its about landing an interview at your dream job and making it to the last round to get rejected

later accepting your second or third or fourth or maybe a choice that was never on your radar

but knowing it was a stepping stone to your next dream and woohoo we can put it on my resume

20 is about reconnecting with family after growing a part from them

having a moment of disbelief when your mom yells at your dad for absolutely nothing but maybe breathing at the wrong moment or getting whole milk instead of soy

and realizing that the bad traits your mom possess are the same ones that pushed away the boy you loved

its about finally understanding why she behaves the way she does

but more importantly not pushing negative generational habits onto those you care about because it is up to ourselves to break that pattern

20 is about not knowing when to get off social media

its about getting a suspicion that its one of the causes for your anxiety and insecurities

stalking your ex boyfriends one time hook up from freshman year wont make you feel any better

if she’s prettier than you’ll compare yourself and if she’s not then you’ll wonder why you’re with a guy that would go for a girl like her

either way you’ll end up questioning your own self worth

slowly swiping to the right on a Snapchat message that says “Hey what’s up?” and being disappointed when its not something more interesting

checking Snap Maps every three minutes won’t make them reply faster

20 is about the biological makeup of our bodies

checking your phone first thing in the morning will just create an unrealistic goal for your brain to reach that same rush of seratonin it feels

reading a book and even having a good conversation with a friend isn’t enough to reach that level you felt earlier that day

its about finding a meditation or exercise that will get your body to a natural high

20 is about mourning yourself that you arent 19 or 18 or 17 anymore

aging is scary but not knowing yourself is even scarier

its about realizing that getting older isnt bad but its a chance to be better than yesterday

i turned 21 last week

21 is about loving myself for who i was when i was 20 and celebrating who i will be today and who i will become tomorrow

n.m.b.

#aging #coming of age #growth #poetry #college #love #loss #grief #lessons #breakup #heartbreak

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derryqueenx · 2 years

Note

for the hurt bingo prompt “used as bait” maybe the boys use vince as bait to like find sum bad guys etc etc (because he’s pretty why wouldn’t they) & it all goes wrong ? LOVE UR STORIES BTW

Used As Bait.

Word Count: 2668

TW: Ooh boy. Noncon drug use, implied bad stuff (you can fill in those blanks however you want), not a happy ending. Basically this is my attempt at a proper whump style fic.

Send through your prompts and any NoelJulian related characters (if you have one in mind! If not I’ll just write whatever I feel works best for said prompt)! The Free Prompt square is if you want me to write a fic based on something that’s not already written! You can send them in and just say it’s for the ‘free prompt’ bingo. Let’s cause our favourite characters some hurt (with small comfort. I’m not a monster.)

“Hang on, I don’t think this is such a good idea..” Howard spoke up, his warning going unheard by 2 out of the other 3 people bickering around him with high enthusiasm.

Allowing Naboo and Bollo some more time to plan the next step, Vince turned to Howard with a smile. “Settle down, Howard. It’ll be fine! Nothing can go wrong.”

Howard looked back at him startled. “Are you serious? A lot can go wrong! Our plan is to send you in to an undercover auction to try and get information on where these missing Shaman are. We don’t know anything about these people or this place. We’re going on nothing but aspiration!”

Vince just shrugged back at him casually, ignoring all the facts that Howard just threw at him. “Yeah but I’ll look really good as a big fancy bidder, won’t I?” He winked, nudging Howard into his side, earning an eye roll in return.

“Don’t try and flirt your way out of this. I’m serious.. I don’t like the idea of you going. Why can’t I go instead?”

“You heard the Head Shaman, they need someone with charm, and no offense, but charm isn’t exactly your forte.” Howard still didn’t look pleased or convinced. Vince softened a little, looking at Howard with a more serious expression as he pursed his lips forward. “Hey, Naboo said he’s going make that communication earring, yeah? You’ll be able to talk to me the whole time.”

Howard sterned. “But I still wont be able to see you – we’ll be out conveying the site. What if something happens and I’m not there in time?”

“Hey, do you trust me?” Vince hardened, grabbing onto Howard’s hand to alleviate his stress.

“I trust you. It’s whoever we’re sending you down to that I’m worried about.”

“Naboo will be right out with you. If anything goes wrong he’ll handle it, yeah?”

Howard didn’t feel comforted or any better about the situation, but he knew no matter what he said it wouldn’t change the outcome. No one listened to him, let alone any ideas or plans he would have simply to keep Vince out of harms way. Maybe they were right, maybe Vince was the best option and Howard was just being paranoid? “Yeah, okay..” He mumbled, not convinced.

Vince just flashed him his widest smile. “Brilliant. Now, wanna help me put together my outfit?”

“Gosh Naboo, you couldn’t have at least picked some earrings that would go with my suit? I look like a train-wreck.” Vince muttered to himself as he made his way through the busy underground bar. Getting in had been no issue at all surprisingly, despite all the practices and rehearsals they’d had on exactly what Vince should say to the bouncer. He’d simply taken one look at Vince up and down, huffed up something under his breath, and then stood to the side to allow Vince full access. “Alright, so how do these things normally work? I don’t think I’ve ever been to an auction before.. do I need money? Shit, should we have brought money?”

“Calm down you ballbag, you’re fine. We don’t need money because we’re not actually placing any bids, alright? You’re just going to blend into the crowd and listen to everything they say. We just need proof, that’s all.” Naboo’s voice rang back in through the earring.

The Head Shaman had a theory that whoever was kidnapping all the Shaman were selling them here as prizes and valuable items for the highest bidder. Having your own personal Shaman was indeed something Vince and Howard had benefited from several times in the past, maybe some other people wanted in on that action? And apparently he thought Vince was the best option to inspect the place, despite the outcries from Howard.

“And remember, the first sign of any danger, you get out of there, okay?” That was Howard this time, who had clearly snatched the communication system from Naboo.

Vince smiled to himself, the thought of Howard being right outside was enough to settle down any nerves that may have still be lingering. “Don’t worry, Howard. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He teased, walking into the main bar as he peered around. “Look’s like there’s a stage of some sort over there..” He whispered. The bar was loud enough that he didn’t have to worry about someone overhearing or thinking he was talking to himself, and it was dark apart from the strobing lights on the roof so no one should have seen him either. Perfectly safe.

“Alright, just hang around and wait for them to start, yeah?” Naboo came back, sounding annoyed, at what Vince assumed was targeted at Howard for butting in.

Vince ordered himself a drink, trying to get comfortable and blend in as much as he could with everyone else here. The other attendees were all dressed differently to one another; some opting for the standard suit and tie, while others were more extravagant get ups that even Vince had to admit were rather impressive. There seemed to be a variety of different people here.

By the time his drink was finished, still nothing had happened. He glanced up at the clock which indicated about 30 minutes had passed and he let out a bored breath. “Think this may have been a shit lead, Naboolio.” He hummed, swirling the ice cubes left in his empty glass.

“Just hang around a bit longer, Head Shaman seemed pretty sure of himself.”

“What am I even waiting fo-“ He started, but was cut off when a microphone feedback rang out throughout the room, the loud music being turned down to get everyone’s attention. Vince turned to face the front of the room where the stage was that he’d spotted earlier, and noticed a rather large, bulky man dressed in a suit and tie standing there, microphone in hand. Based off the quality of his suit, he seemed rich. And by the way he instantly had everyone’s eyes on him, Vince assumed he was probably in charge. “I think something’s happening.” He whispered to Naboo, cautious now to cause any unwanted attention.

“Gentlemen, thank you all for coming tonight. We have a wonderful line up ready to go, so in a moment you’ll all have an opportunity to get some refreshments before the main auction begins.” He boasted, his already commanding voice amplified profusely as Vince shifted a little uncomfortably in his seat, feeling like he was sitting in on something he most definitely should not be sitting in on. “Before we do begin though, tonight we have a special treat for you.” He continued, but Vince wasn’t able to keep paying attention when he was suddenly distracted by a small tingling feeling coursing throughout his body.

It started from his fingers and toes, and slowly crept upwards, leaving a trail of warmness behind in its wake until it made it to his head, where it immediately faded out into a dizzying sensation. His tongue started feeling heavier in his mouth, and his eyelids seemed to be unable to move at all. He couldn’t focus on anything as the room started to slow down to the point he felt himself swaying in his seat.

This didn’t seem good.

“..N’Boo…” He slurred, trying his best to focus enough to just get this simple sentence out. “don’t feel so good…” He managed, before losing all use of his tongue and mouth entirely. This was definitely not something he’d ever experienced before. He got sick as much as the next person, but never this intense and never this suddenly. He was fine only a few minutes ago?

“Vince?” Naboo’s voice sounded out, but Vince couldn’t bring himself to get the strength to respond back to him.

“Vince?! What’s going on?”It was Howard again, sounding panicked and Vince genuinely felt awful that he couldn’t talk back to him to at least try and ease him a little, although he’s not entirely sure what he would say considering that yeah, maybe this was a panicking situation?

“A few of you have already been surveilling this one since he walked in, so let’s get the party started!” Vince felt his head lull, feeling heavier then it did only moments ago as he started to lose feeling in the rest of his limbs and body. “Boys, bring him up, will you?”

Suddenly, Vince felt a pair of firm grips on his arms, hoisting him up from his seat as they began to drag him through the mass of people flooding the floor. Vince tried to get his body to cooperate, to fight back or shout out or do somethingbut it wasn’t listening to him, it simply hung limp and allowed these men to manhandle him, his feet loosely dragging along the floor behind him as his head hung low, his hair covering his face and his view.

They brought him up to the stage next to the man speaking, holding him upright to a standing position, both of them supporting his dead weight by this point and Vince felt one of them tug on his hair enough to bring his head up, allowing himself to now look out at the crowd he was standing in front of him and also giving everyone else a good look at him in return. His body wasn’t his anymore – he had no control over it no matter how hard he tried, it simply wouldn’t budge or move.

“Don’t worry gorgeous, it’s only temporary.” The speaker said, addressing Vince as he walked closer, inspecting the man that was helpless before him. “A little tip for you someone like you; always watch your drinks being made. You never know what crazy people might put in there.” He smirked, slapping Vince’s cheek twice in a playful manner, yet hard to be taken as a threat, before turning back to the crowd. “This here is Vince Noir, and it seems our little Shaman friends have sent him in as a trade. Now, as far as trades go, this one isn’t half bad, wouldn’t you agree?” The crowd audibly agreed with whistles and coos. “Now he may not be a Shaman, but I’m sure he’s got other redeeming qualities, and you lot can be rather creative so I don’t doubt you’ll find a good use for him. Let’s show these Shaman who’s in charge around here!” He geared up the crowd, who responded with loud cheers of support. “Should we start the bidding at 5000?”

Vince panicked, his heart rate picking up in a rush and yet he was unable to do anything. All he could do was hang limply, forced to be ogled at whilst listening to Naboo and Howard screaming through the earring in his ear.

“What the fuck is he talking about Naboo?!”

“I don’t know – Derek didn’t explain! He just said to send in Vince, that’s all he told me…”

“And you didn’t ask any questions?!”

“I- I don’t know! Just.. hang on Vince, okay? If you can hear me we’re coming!”

Vince trusted him. Naboo would get him out of this.. he always did.

“Do I hear 6000?” He tuned back into the Speaker, still calling out numbers while members of the crowd voiced in, shouting out higher bids with increasing enthusiasm and urgency. This was hands down the most humiliating experience of his life, and honestly, he couldn’t wait to tear the Head Shaman a new one when he got out of here.

“We’re at 7800 now folks! Anyone got anything higher?” There was a small pause in the room, the silence almost deafening as Vince waited. Time was running out, yet Vince still held hope for Naboo. He would be here. He just had to wait.. “And Sold! At 7800 to our good friend Lyle Peterson!” A pit formed in his stomach. What did they mean ‘sold’?

The pit started to grow into a sickness, bubbling up and threatening to spill any moment now.

No. Naboo was coming..

“Naboo! What’s happening?! Get it open!”

“I-I can’t! There’s some sort of… block!

“What do you mean?!”

“I mean that this door won’t budge with any of my magic!”

“Move!” He heard Howard shout, followed by the sound of heavy thuds and grunts as Howard started to no doubt ram his body into the door in a desperate attempt to knock it down. “Vince! Vince!!” He was shouting in a panic, doing anything he could to get the younger man to either respond back to him or at least know he was coming, but with every passing moment that Vince was stuck listening to Howard try and fail to knock down the door he had entered in earlier, Vince’s hopes of a rescue were starting to dwindle.

He was stuck in here, unable to move or do anything except be manhandled about as he was taken off stage, knowing Howard and Naboo were just outside yet unable to get to him – which somehow made it even worse. Being so close to comfort yet having it just out of reach.

He was dragged to another room where a new man was standing with his hands in his pants pockets, a look of pride on his face, and Vince could only assume this was Lyle. The man who had just bought him. “Hello darling.” He hummed, stepping closer and gripping Vince’s chin tightly, forcing his head up to meet his gaze as he studied Vince intently, licking his lips curiously as his wandered up and down Vince’s figure, and Vince felt his cheeks start to redden with embarrassment.

Over his dead body was he about to be bought like some rare item in a gift shop. The sound of Howard still struggling to knock down the door brought some sort of light out in him. Howard was out there trying so desperately to get to Vince, and just the mere thought of letting Howard down, and imagining his face if he were to fail was enough incentive in itself, yet the idea of being forcibly taken away from Howard without any choice in the matter was all the motivation he needed.

Summoning up whatever he could muster - which wasn’t a lot, mind you - Vince grunted out angrily, tugging on the arms that were still restraining him in a last attempt to get free from their grasp and the one Lyle had on his chin, and it was absolutely soul-shattering when Vince realized he didn’t even manage to move a single inch. The hands were still clamped down, unbothered, as was Lyle who looked at him with a look Vince could only describe as adoration. “A feisty one. I love that. I think you and I are going to have plenty of fun together, darling.”

“Get away from him!”Howard shouted out, sounding breathless and exhausted as the grunts and thuds continued.

The sound of Howard’s cry must have been louder than the others he’d made this entire time, as Lyle raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Well, what do we have here, hmm?” He questioned, releasing Vince’s face to reach up and grab the earring, removing the last remaining bit of contact Vince had with Howard, and he immediately longed for that connection to be returned. He couldn’t go without hearing Howard.. He was all the hope he had left.

Lyle inspected the jewelry for a moment, bringing it up to his own ear. “Hello?” He spoke coolly, and Vince was unable to hear the response. He just watched as Lyle’s face lit up in amusement, laughing to himself. “Sorry, but Vince is no longer available. Don’t worry – I’ll take good care of him.”

And with that, Lyle dropped the earring onto the floor and stomped down hard onto it, crushing it and the last little bit of Vince’s hope along with it.

He was utterly alone now. No Naboo. No Howard.

Just him and Lyle.

“Now, let’s get you home, shall we?”

So previously my stories have all followed a guideline with a bit of angst and a somewhat happy or inspiring ending. Not this bad boy! I really want to start getting into more classic whump styles, and not just angst, so i hope this wasn’t completely awful. Thanks for the prompt anon! Trust me when i say i had a fun time writing it and will be going to sleep just imagining all the 'fun things' Lyle and Vince could get up to. 😬

I also may have just created my OC Whumper?? How exciting.

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