#i also think hes trans. and that might be why his name is listed as unknown on his old work90VDUS8YGUIVHVBJGFN

[sunshine-jesse]

Why I'm Uncomfortable With Trying To Diagnose The Siblings

Hey!

I would like to preface this by saying that I'm not saying you shouldn't find representation in these people. If you have a personality disorder, and see your own behaviors in the two of them, then by all means, claim them. The point I'm going to try to be making is NOT that it's morally wrong to see yourselves in them. After all, I find autistic rep in people like Futaba Sakura, who isn't explicitly diagnosed, or trans rep in Luka Urushibara, who isn't trans within the context of the story but is so obviously trans in behavior that she'd absolutely be trans IRL. I also find pretty good autistic rep in Maria Ushiromiya from Umineko, and trans rep in [SPOILER CHARACTER] from that very same work, even though her experience doesn't exactly line up with the average trans experience.

None of these characters are diagnosed. None of them really have to be in order to be valid examples.

The point I'm going to be making in this essay is that I don't think that personality disorders have enough explanatory power for their behavior, and while Ashley and Andrew (especially Ashley) might technically qualify for one of them, I think it's a very simplistic way of characterizing their behavior. And frankly, whether or not they do qualify doesn't matter, because I think psychology as a field is grossly insufficient for characterizing and treating their behaviors… and perhaps even your own.

Why?

Well!

What, exactly, about their actions and thought patterns is disordered? The Nina incident obviously, and the calls to Julia, I guess, but what -else-?

Let's start with Ashley because she's the one people have most commonly accepted as having a PD of some kind. Namely, Borderline Personality Disorder! I'm going to go down the list of symptoms and tell you why I either do not think she has many of them, or that they're perfectly rational reactions to the environment around her.

I probably won't cover Andrew as deeply because Ashley, as loud and annoying as she is, makes everything easy to see.

-Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

…So. Where, exactly, are the -frantic- efforts? In Decay, what she's worried about is literally her dying. Not just being abandoned. And in Burial, when she feels her grip loosening on Andrew, there's nothing frantic about her reaction to it. She's just confused and thoughtful, maybe a bit worried. But that's more because she's trying to parse what's going on, and not because she's trying to avoid abandonment. She only ever speaks about it in regards to the incest vision.

The most severe actions to prevent abandonment are her calls towards Julia- assuming Andrew ever could've heard them and it wasn't just Andrew imagining what the calls could've been- but she takes immediate responsibility for them when confronted. That immediate responsibility is admittedly her just laughing it off, but there wasn't even an attempt made to justify it. All she has is the fear of abandomment, really. With the above in mind, her calls to Julia come off as her being more of an asshole than anything.

-Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships, often characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation, also known as "splitting"

I think she idealizes Andrew a lot. But the parts where she tries to """""gaslight"""" Andrew over how responsible he is for his killings aren't… devaluation. As I spoke about in my last essay, it was Ashley trying to get him to take responsibility for the actions he took supposedly for her own sake, so she knew it was for her- to make her happy.

It qualifies more for the first symptom, with that in mind, but she never, ever deviates from viewing him as her favorite person. She doesn't split. She just wants him to take responsibility so she knows that he actually cares.

-Markedly disturbed sense of identity and distorted self-image

Her self image is absolutely distorted. She's been viewed as worthless from the start of her life, and never got along with any friends or family. But her self-image is also remarkably consistent- she has a firm idea in her mind of who she is and never starts to deviate from it until, arguably, the end of the Burial route.

-Impulsive or reckless behaviors Yes.

-Recurrent suicidal ideation or self harm

Nope. She arguably has the strongest self-preservation instincts in the whole story, and despite her viewing herself as worthless, never once actually wants to die.

-Rapidly shifting intense emotional dysregulation -Inappropriate, intense anger that can be difficult to control

These ones are a bit iffy. The scene wherein she yells at Andrew for not taking responsibility for killing Nina and the 302 lady arguably qualifies as this. But this is the only such example of it in the story. Otherwise, she's in remarkable control of her own emotions, and all her worries over Andrew abandoning her are met with confusion more than an immediate, powerful emotional response.

-Chronic feelings of emptiness Yeah.

-Transient, stress-related paranoid or severe dissociative symptoms No. She displays no dissociative symptoms whatsoever and she only ever grows slightly paranoid when she sees the shift in Andrew's personality.

So, let's go over her symptoms that she unambigously has: -Chronic feelings of emptiness -Impulsive or reckless behaviors

And the ones she PARTLY qualifies for: -Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (key word here is frantic, else she'd fully qualify) -Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships, often characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation, also known as "splitting" (she doesn't split Andrew)

The BIG maybes: -Inappropriate, intense anger that can be difficult to control (only two such examples of that in the story) -Rapidly shifting intense emotional dysregulation -Markedly disturbed sense of identity and distorted self-image (her sense of self image is distorted, but her sense of identity is not disturbed; it's remarkably consistent)

You need five of these symptoms to qualify for a diagnosis. Ashley unambiguously meets two, partly qualifies for two, and the rest are either BIG maybes or flat out nos.

In other words, for people who view BPD as The Cause, she does not qualify for having the disorder. Sorry, armchair psych bros; this is your L.

…are they gone yet?

Good!

As I'm sure most people reading this who see themselves in these characters have come to realize, diagnosis is mostly full of shit. And for those who have actually studied the field of psychology beyond a few random-ass articles they looked up while trying to find out why their ex or mom was so crazy, or a single college psych course, they might find my above summation to be lacking. Questionable. Even, problematic!

Well, congrats, because now I'm going to level with you about what this essay is actually about. If you understand what personality disorders are, you'd know that they are rarely the cause of anything. They're not like diseases in that they 'cause' anything; they're just words we use to describe a set of symptoms that each have their own individual causes. And while there's a lot of buzz in some circles about the heritability of personality disorders, the fact of the matter is that there is currently very, very little evidence that they're genetic. (https://www.apa.org/topics/personality-disorders/causes)

The patterns emerge early, sure, but there is no gene for a personality disorder*. It's not, and never was, how they were always like. Nobody is doomed to develop one. They are merely born with a series of traits that might predispose them to it. By their very nature, they possess no explanatory power for behavior whatsoever. Ashley is not "like this because she has BPD," she's "she has BPD because she's like this." And this is at the core of why I'm uncomfortable with attaching a personality disorder to her.

*A malfunctioning gene has been linked to OCD, however, but even in that case it's not a gene that defines someone as OCD, because it's linked to other conditions as well such as autism, social phobias, and substance use disorders. It's merely one of the many preconditions someone may have that could lead them to developing it. https://www.nature.com/articles/4001365

There's an old meme about trans people having BPD. I don't know if that's still a popular meme, but it was, in fact, a strong association that us in the trans community had. A way we stereotyped ourselves, as it may. And it's a pretty funny meme! Bonding over mutual trauma is always a fun time. But. I don't like that meme, either, for the same reason I don't like it for Ashley or Andrew.

I don't think medicalizing personality is a good thing.

For trans people, the fact of the matter is, we have every reason to develop BPD. The world really is that hostile towards us. Coming out can make friends drop us on a whim, transitioning makes it hard to develop lasting relationships because there's always that fear of people sexualizing us and never wanting a real, close, romantic relationship to begin with.

It's not disordered. It's not a condition. It's not a "problem".

It's a perfectly rational reaction to the world around us.

We have every reason to be so afraid. It'd make less sense if we weren't. And we have every reason to view every sign someone might leave as a sign that people never cared to begin with, because we have seen so many people who never HAVE really cared about us show their whole ass once we're a little bit different than they expected us to be. The same applies to cis women, too; it's why they're diagnosed with BPD three times as much as cis men are!

And I honestly think Ashley's reactions are much the same. She was denied the benefits of the social contract her whole life, abandoned by her parents and "friends," and only ever had Andrew, who gives every indication that he's trying to distance himself from her for the sake of being normal. He refuses to give her the validation she needs to think otherwise, always making it seem conditional or coming with a caveat, and tries to pass off the responsibility for all the actions that'd prove how much he cares for her.

And, ah, Andrew, goodness gracious. I've seen so many different takes on what's up with him that it boggles the mind. It's hard to pick out just one, but ASPD is a pretty common one. But I honestly think that's even more questionable than Ashley having BPD. Like, yeah, he's mostly afraid of consequences rather than the morality of his actions, but that's because his Prime Directive is to keep Ashley safe. Any consequences necessarily separate them. And the fact that he's so willing to kill, so cold and emotionless while doing it, so emotionless after? Once more, it's his job to keep Ashley safe; to keep her happy. But society won't let him take credit. It pushes back against him taking responsibility and acknowledging just how much he wants to- and has- done for her.

He always has to distance himself from how he truly feels, lest society punish him. He's had to distance himself from his true feelings so much that it's little wonder he has any attachment to them at all anymore. Violence is the only power he's ever had, because it's the only thing society never pushed back on, and it's the only thing many of the viewers never push back on. It's how he distances himself from the things that hurt him, which is either Ashley, or the people who keep him away from Ashley. … But only one of those things ever truly made him happy, and it just happens to be the one that society doesn't accept.

Andrew isn't like this because he has ASPD. Andrew has ASPD because he's like this.

It's the effect, not the cause.

The cause is the world around him; the world around Ashley.

Medicalizing something implies the issue is internal. It implies it's something we can fix from within ourselves. And, at worst, it implies that it's our fault. We should take responsibility for maladaptive behaviors, sure. We absolutely should, if only for our own sakes, lest we push people away through no fault of their own. We should do what we can to not hurt people, every step of the way. That is on us.

But there's only so much we can do when the world around us constantly reaffirms our greatest fears.

And that's exactly what the world does to the marginalized.

#andrew graves #ashley graves #the coffin of andy and leyley #gaming #tcoaal #tcoaal essay #essay

[bbyquokka]

a garden of flowers

– in which yn gets a special tattoo !!

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | hwang hyunjin x gender-neutral reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | fluff – 18+ is strongly advised!

𝐂𝐖 | platonic relationship, trans masc reader (FTM), tattoo artist hyunjin, top surgery scars – if i have labelled anything incorrectly/missed warnings pls lmk!

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 | 1.5k ~ ( 1,514 )

𝐀/𝐍 | i got sent a video a while ago (i cant find it now, sad) so i wrote a lil something that was inspired by the video. don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. curious as to what is next? here is my wips list! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

m.list — you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

“hi. i heard you do specific tattooing.” you smile at the employer. he looks up at you, tattoos decorating his muscular arms and fingers, pierced nose and lip with a stretched ear. he smiles at you warmly and nods.

“that's us! each employee does specific art and tattooing as well as piercings. anything you want in particular?”

“i don't have an idea for the design per say but i have a relatively big scar that i want incorporated into the tattoo.”

the employee hums and nods as he listens to you, soaking up all the information. his curly hair falling in front of his eyes which causes him to have to push his hair back every five seconds, revealing an eyebrow piercing and a small face tattoo above the brow that you didn't notice at first glance.

“and where is the scar, if i might ask?”

“my chest.”

“ok! we have the perfect employee for that. give me a sec.” you nod, thanking him as you watch him walk to the back room, jumping as his loud voice bellows out through the store.

“hyunjin! customer for ya!!”

“jesus changbin! do you have to shout?” the man named hyunjin comes out of the back room, rubbing his temples. hair long and dyed black with streaks of red. half up, half down. eyeliner lining his lower water line, septum pierced and a few tattoos dotted on his skin. “you're going to scare the customers.”

“please. they love it when i shout.” changbin smirks and winks cheekily, causing hyunjin to blush faintly and gently push him. “and i know you do too. you love it when i’m vocal.”

“fuck you, binnie.” 

“you wish.” 

hyunjin rolls his eyes before approaching you. he clears his throat before extending out his hand to shake.

“hello. i'm hyunjin.”

“hey hyunjin. i'm yn.”

“so yn, tell me about this tattoo design?”

“well, i don't have an idea per day but i do have a scar across my chest that i want to incorporate.” hyunjin nods.

“well, you've come to the right store. i specialize in tattoos that are centred around scars whether that be cover ups or something else. if you don't mind, i would like to brainstorm some ideas with you and do a few doodles.”

“sounds perfect!” you grin.

“great. right this way.”

hyunjin and you spend an hour or so brainstorming ideas. you showed him your chest scar, specifically telling hyunjin what you’ve visioned, however, you want the end design to be a surprise to you. you were a  little worried about showing hyunjin your scar but, much to your relief, he didn't judge. in fact, it seemed like he didn't care at all.

“can i ask you a personal question?” hyunjin asks as he drags the tattoo needle along your chest. you wince a little in pain, taking a few deep breaths before speaking. 

“go ahead.” hyunjin wipes away the ink with some tissue before returning back to tracing the outline.

“how did you get this scar?”

“top surgery.” 

“oh! i see. how was that?”

“fucking scary but so so worth it.”

“oh really?”

“yes. to wake up from surgery to look down and see that my boobs have gone, was a huge relief to me.”

“how was it? the whole process and whatnot?”

“lonely.”

“lonely? why?” hyunjin's eyebrows furrow together.

“ever since i told my friends and family that i'm transgender, they just left.”

“that's pretty shitty of them.”

“well, people fear what they don't know. knowledge is power and when people are met with something that's unknown or unfamiliar to them, they run away in fear because they don't understand. i would have happily educated them but… yeah.”

“how did you know that you’re trans? sorry if this is too personal by the way. please stop me if i'm overstepping.” you laugh softly and shake your head.

“no, it's ok. honestly, i wish more people like you would ask.” you look up at the ceiling as hyunjin tattoos you. “i guess i've always known from such an early age but because i was young, i didn't understand why i wasn't like all the other girls that were interested in dolls and make-up and disney princesses.”

“what were you interested in?”

“the standard boy stuff. diy, football, mud, eating worms. i liked shorts and t-shirts, not dresses and ballet shoes. as i got older though, i understood a lot more. told my parents and they told me it was just a phase. well, they made me believe it was just a phase.”

“fuck. that's rough..”

“well, the whole process has been rough. months and months of waiting to be seen by doctors. appointments after appointments. a huge waiting list just for T. and to top it off, mental health issues.”

“i assume knowing you're in the wrong body fucks with your mind; to put it politely of course.” you laugh and nod your head.

“pretty much, yes. looking in the mirror and seeing that my hair and face was changing, y'know facial hair and my voice getting deeper was good but then when i strip naked, look down and see i have boobs and a vagina, it's just heartbreaking. it takes a toll on your mind.”

“why do you want me to incorporate the scar instead of covering it?”

“because i'm not ashamed of it. it's part of my journey. i want to show it off and, even though i do miss my breasts in a weird way, i'm proud of myself for making it this far and for being strong. i'll never be ashamed or hide who i am now because i've spent years hiding and feeling ashamed.”

“i like you yn. you're strong and know what you want in life.”

“thank you, hyunjin. it means a lot to me.” you smile softly at him as he grins at you, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“so, are you done now? with your breasts gone and whatnot?”

“maybe. maybe not. i've been debating about bottom surgery but it costs twice as much as top and well, it's a whole new thing to get used to. i'm completely transforming my intimate area for something new and unknown. in a way, yes i do want bottom surgery but i know i'll be alone during the process.”

“i'll come with you.”

“what..?”

“i'll come with you. i'll hold your hand and be there for you, whether you decide to do it or not.”

“hyunjin, we barely know each other. you're a tattoo artist that’s tattooing my chest.”

“ok. and? i like you yn. platonically of course however, i can't deny this strong connection that pulls me to you. hearing your story, i want to protect you and be the friend that you've always wanted and deserved. you shouldn't have to face something that's this big alone.”

“it's just surgery, hyunjin..”

“yes but it's a major thing to you so you deserve to have someone there by your side. to have a familiar face to wake up to.”

“and if i don't decide on the surgery?”

“then i still want to be that familiar face to wake up to.”

“hyunjin, i–”

“look–” hyunjin turns the tattooing machine off and looks at you. “whether you decide to get bottom surgery or not doesn't make you any less of a person. you're still you and you should look back on all the great achievements and be proud. masculinity shouldn't tackle or dominate you, you dominate masculinity besides, gender is fluid these days so be what you want to be. just as long as you are happy, healthy and comfortable then who gives a shit.”

tears roll down your cheeks slowly. you wipe them away with the back of your hand as you sniffle, hyunjin smiling softly at you before finishing up the tattoo.

“thank you.. i needed that.”

“we all need that extra love, regardless.”

a comfortable silence falls upon you both. the buzzing sound of the machine tattooing your skin being the only thing ringing in your ears. one hour later and hyunjin turns off the machine before gently wiping the extra ink off your skin.

“ready! want to see it?”

“fuck yes!” hyunjin laughs before standing up. you follow suit, following him to the full length mirror.

you gasp in awe and shock as you look at your new chest tattoo. flowers of various shapes and sizes decorated in a line along your scar. butterflies and bees for that extra touch and design. 

“holy fuck.. thank you. thank you so so much hyunjin. i love it.” tears well in your eyes before falling down your cheeks. hyunjin laughs softly, his own eyes welling up.

“ah fuck, now you've got me started.” you both laugh as you wipe away tears. hyunjin wraps up your chest tattoo and tells you about aftercare. 

as you gather your belongings and walk to the door, you turn on your heel and give hyunjin a gentle and genuine smile

“thank you for today, hyunjin. it's nice to know i have someone to lean on in the future.”

#kwritersworldnet #wkcnet #straykidsland #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin fluff #hyunjin x you #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x you #skz x you #skz x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader

[quibbs126]

Well alright, someone said yes, so I’ll post the designs

Warning, these are kind of old and not very good art. Or maybe I’m just being self critical, some of it I think still looks neat

Let’s start with the ones that I made look cool and drew both the Stand Human and Human Stand

Unfortunately I could never figure out a Stand design for Okuyasu, so he only has his half done

Why does the lettering actually look kind of cool…like it doesn’t look half assed at all like it normally does. Maybe because I was intentionally trying to make it look cool

I made Joseph a scarf because I remember his scarf being a notable part of his design. Also Hermit Purple was vines, so equal treatment

Giorno looks like that because I recall at the time some people saying how Golden Experience looked like young Haruno but GER looked more like current day Giorno, so I kind of took that idea and made him look like Haruno, though maybe I took things too literal. Also that’s why Oro looks like GER. Also Oro is supposed to have a somewhat unsettling stare, since people say GER looks kind of creepy

Also another thing I want to mention about Polnareff, specifically his name, so that’s not an 80s song, that’s from 2014, it’s the name of a song from a French artist I liked. So realistically it probably wouldn’t be used but I thought it sounded cool. And hey, the song itself samples a Michael Jackson song, so eh?

Anyways, so something I should mention about this style, so at the time I was obsessed with this other artist’s, @droolingdemon style, and I tried desperately to recreate it. I think by this point I just tried to integrate it with my current style, but that’s why the art style looks the way it does. I might make another post about the subject on its own though

Anyways, onto the Chibi style Stand humanizations

I’ll just list some things I remember from their characters

So I did eventually consider turning Purple Haze into a dog, I think specifically a greyhound, but I didn’t know how to draw dogs, so that never happened

Stone Free never takes off those sunglasses and never lets anyone see what she looks like under them. As it turns out, she’s actually blind, and this would be revealed around the snail part in the story (assuming there are still snails), as she’s unaffected, and I believe she’s told to drive a car because of it, but she can’t, and when asked why, she says it’s because she’s blind (and that this was probably a bad time to relay that info)

The three in the last pic are all different characters who end up sharing the same Stand as it gets passed around between them. Whitesnake is part of the prison staff, C-Moon is just an unfortunate young lady who just happens to get stuck with the Stand after something happens to Whitesnake, and Made in Heaven is I think a horse rider who gets the Stand from C-Moon, probably forcibly taking it from her (and she likely dies) as he knows what it is. Also, Whitesnake and Made in Heaven were dating

Oh yeah, also the first Standswap art I did, which was also Chibi style, I just singled it out because of that

Featuring Star Platinum and The World. Not sure I ever found a definitive design for The World, but maybe I did in my sketchbook

Anyways, so then we have some random headshot ones I did

Let’s see, in the first one we have GER looking ominous, Purple Haze, the blushing one is Tusk Act 1, and buns is Ball Breaker. Then for the second one we have Whitesnake, Under World, Killer Queen and Scary Monsters

I believe one thing I did for the Part 7 swap storyline was to have Tusk have a journey of slowly transitioning from a woman as Act 1 to a man as Act 4. I know I’ve drawn Act 4 Tusk but I think it was in my sketchbook, so I cannot show it. Also I believe Ball Breaker was trans too, just male to female, and where Tusk got the idea that you can just be your preferred gender if you want. Also note that at the time, I did not actually really understand how transitioning worked. Though to be honest, I think the main thing was that I didn’t know hormones existed, or that transitioning could be more than just making yourself look like your preferred gender

Anyways, on to Scary Monsters. I believe he rode horseback without a saddle. Also, he started out with one Stand (Dr Ferdinand) but then got another (Diego)

Then with Killer Queen, I believe he was a mute cop. But also secretly a serial killer. Also he might have had a cat like face

And yeah, I think that’s about it, hope you liked it

#I do still like some of these designs #also I still stand by that the Jotaro Standswap one looks great #do I tag all the characters? #eh why not? #but I’ll be tagging the users not the Stands #jojo’s bizzare adventure #jjba #standswap #joseph joestar #giorno giovanna #jotaro kujo #jean pierre polnareff #okuyasu nijimura #diavolo jojo #pannacotta fugo #trish una #leone abbacchio #bruno bucciarati #rohan kishibe #ermes costello #jolyne cujoh #muhammad avdol #enrico pucci #dio brando #johnny joestar #gyro zeppeli #donatello versus #yoshikage kira #diego brando #my art

[kithj]

i thought it would be fun to share what i’m reading for pride :-)

pageboy by elliot page

i have been a lifelong fan of elliot page, one of my first celebrity crushes (alongside anna paquin in xmen) & if you’ve ever watched any of his other work like gaycation or there’s something in the water, you know he is very articulate & deliberate with his words & that definitely translates into his writing as well. i’m about halfway through and really enjoying it, his writing is again very deliberate and snappy, and i like how he reflects on the history of where he grew up and interweaves it with his childhood & present day. one of my favorite passages so far is when he's reminiscing about playing pretend as a boy:

"Those were some of the best times of my life, traveling to another dimension where I was... me. And not just a boy but a man, a man who could fall in love and be loved back. Why do we lose that ability? To create a whole world? A bunk bed was a kingdom, I was a boy."

stone butch blues by leslie feinberg

i’ve read this collection many years ago as a teen/early 20s and it’s actually been really hard for me to reread. i got through the first 3 chapters and had to set it aside because it was really affecting me. maybe because i’m older… anyways, not sure if i’m going to finish this reread since i don’t really think i’m in the right headspace to handle it. however there’s a lot of Leslie Feinberg’s writing available online, i’ve shared some previously and you can find them here :-) sbb is also available for free on hir website, and i do still recommend it, just be aware of the content before you start reading.

honorable mentions follow because i haven't gotten the books in the mail yet 😭

miss major speaks by miss major griffin-gracy

this book just came out this past month, and i'm waiting for my copy to arrive. i'll just share the description here:

Miss Major Griffin-Gracy is a veteran of the infamous Stonewall Riots, a former sex worker, and a transgender elder and activist who has survived Bellevue psychiatric hospital, Attica Prison, the HIV/AIDS crisis and a world that white supremacy has built. She has shared tips with other sex workers in the nascent drag ball scene of the late 1960s, and helped found one of America’s first needle exchange clinics from the back of her van. Miss Major Speaks is both document of her brilliant life–told with intimacy, warmth and an undeniable levity-and a roadmap for the challenges black, brown, queer and trans youth will face on the path to liberation today.

you can donate to miss major's fundly here

the persistent desire: a femme-butch reader edited by joan nestle

i've read some of the essays in this anthology previously, but i have a really hard time reading the scanned pages on my laptop (hurts my head) so i bit the bullet and ordered my own copy from a used bookstore. it was suspiciously cheap compared to where i've seen it elsewhere, so fingers crossed it's the real deal. i'm excited because the shop noted that it had previous wear & potential writing in the margins from the previous owner and i look forward to seeing the thoughts of the person before me :-)

i really like reading older lesbian literature, though it makes me sad sometimes that a lot of the lesbian bar culture no longer exists. i wish i could go back and talk to some of the women and butches that lived through it.

hijab butch blues by lamya h

this is next on my to-read list, i think i might jump over to this one since i've set sbb aside for now. i'll just paste the description again:

When fourteen-year-old Lamya H realizes she has a crush on her teacher—her female teacher—she covers up her attraction, an attraction she can’t yet name, by playing up her roles as overachiever and class clown. Born in South Asia, she moved to the Middle East at a young age and has spent years feeling out of place, like her own desires and dreams don’t matter, and it’s easier to hide in plain sight.

To disappear. But one day in Quran class, she reads a passage about Maryam that changes everything: when Maryam learned that she was pregnant, she insisted no man had touched her. Could Maryam, uninterested in men, be . . . like Lamya?

i'm excited to read this one and get my own copy eventually. a lot of the butch literature i've read has been from white butches (primarily leslie feinberg & ivan coyote) & i look forward to reading a new perspective. kitty tsui is also another butch whose work i really like, she has an essay in the persistent desire and i know that one has made the rounds on tumblr before.

anyways just felt like sharing ! i haven't been able to do anything for pride this year so i'm trying to fill the void a bit with reading a lot of gay/lesbian literature. hope you all are having a safe and happy pride :-)

#personal

[euniexenoblade]

Favorite music of 2023 :)

I've found myself dealing with a wave of writer's block, and in my desire to get past it I've decided to write whatever I can. Some people said they'd be interested in me talking about my favorite albums of 2023, so here's a short write up about albums I really liked and I hope everyone will give a try.

I found 2023 to be a pretty spectacular year for weird and interesting music. With artists like Lil Yachty doing a neo-psychedelia album (fantastic, give it a listen) and Avenged Sevenfold doing some progressive avant garde adjacent metal album (I think people are wrongly hating on it, it's spectacular), it shouldn't be too surprising to imagine that the bands the mainstream hasn't really heard of are making wild soundscapes unlike anything you've ever heard.

Kicking this off with one of my favorite Korean bands, Parannoul released two albums this year and they were spectacular - both in my top 10 of the year. Parannoul are a wonderful shoegaze band that create these songs that almost feel hypnotic, they create this dream like state for their songs in ways no other band seems to be able to. After the Magic, their third album, is no different in this, but brings a new warmth, brighter instrumentation, and just in general doesn't feel as self loathing and depressed as previous works. The other release, After the Night, is a live recording, which shows that the band can produce the same dreamlike style on a stage, but do it even better. My second favorite album of the year, this live album is so incredible, zoning out to the 46 minute "Into the Endless Night" while high was probably one of my favorite experiences of the year in and of itself. (Also, if you do chose to check them out, please listen to To See the Next Part of the Dream, it's one of my favorite albums ever made.)

Using Parannoul as a sorta link between things, I also found that they worked on a song on the new Turquoisedeath album, Se bueno. I won't claim to be an expert on drum and bass, but I had a killer time listening to Se bueno. When I discovered Se bueno, I also discovered a few other, more abrasive, albums that I kind of group together in my head. Namely Chaser by femtanyl (digital hardcore) and Sisterhood by lostrushi ("digicore" feels like a frantic version of trap). If you like this kind of music, give them a try, all three are on my list.

Everyone's top albums of the years seem to have their one and two spots stolen away by Javelin and Scaring the Hoes. Starting with the latter, Scaring the Hoes by JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown is cool as hell. Beats unlike anything I've heard in hip hop before, and the flows of both men really bring it all together. It's a great album (it's my third favorite of the year), but I also think some focus on some other hip hop titles might be cool. Integrated Tech Solutions by Aesop Rock is just as impressive and interesting and deserves your attention. Alongside that Michael by Killer Mike is a fantastic listen, though it doesn't compare to the previously mentioned two, it's still a great album that deserves your time - he won those awards for a reason. The man got arrested at an award show, the least you can do is stream his album once.

Now, as for Javelin by Sufjan Stevens, it's a great album, but it's also such a sad album. His pain is horrible, and he does a great job at making you feel it. However, the music never really hit me like other albums of the year had. The lyrics murder your heart, but I'm a tad past gay pains and want gay joys. Which is why I want you all to listen to Ultra Paradise by Angel Electronics. Half Ada Rook of Black Dresses, half Ash Nerve (I doubt you know him) this is a trans and gay power pop album that's just beautiful and fun. Songs like Return to the Sky and One Thousand and One Nights are fun ear worms, and the rest of the album just has a level of repeatability and a level of joy and fun that most other albums this year didn't have. Is it as technically impressive as Javelin? No. But, shit, it's nice to be happy for once.

Continuing off of this idea, in 2023 we saw transphobia become horrifically rampant, the right wing are really intent to get rid of us. You can't avoid how much this world hates us now and it makes you want to just scream. It creates this feeling of anger, a desire for violence, like we're past being sad and nice and understanding. In 2023 the Hirs Collective put out an album on par with that emotion. We're Still Here is an aggressive grindcore album put together by trans, gay, queer people in general. My favorite release from the band to date, it's fantastic to see Hirs screaming "We're still here!" as the world tries to erase us. This is my favorite album of 2023, please listen to it, please give Hirs your money, they deserve it and you deserve their music.

A few more albums I wanna recommend that I can't really think of anything in depth to say: God Cum Poltergeist by Crisis Sigil (Ada Rook) is a fantastic grindcore album, Goodnight, God Bless, I Love U, Delete by Crosses is a fantastic synthpop adjacent album and I got to see it performed live and it's amazing music, Reborn Superstar! by Hanabie. is a great Japanese metalcore album, and go listen to Kikuo Miku 7 for some rad Hatsune Miku bullshit.

My top 50 music releases of 2023:

We're Still Here by Hirs

After the Night by Parannoul

Scaring the Hoes by JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown

Dogsbody by Model/Actriz

Desire, I Want to Turn Into You by Caroline Polachek

After the Magic by Parannoul

Goodnight, God Bless, I Love U, Delete. by Crosses

God Cum Poltergeist by Crisis Sigil

uma by betcover!!

Ultra Paradise by Angel Electronics

Reborn Superstar! by Hanabie.

No Joy by Spanish Love Songs

Saved by Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter

Live in Japan by Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

93696 by Liturgy

Resistance and the Blessing by World's End Girlfriend

Kikuo Miku 7 by Kikuo

Javelin by Sufjan Stevens

Integrated Tech Solutions by Aesop Rock

Poil Ueda by Poil & Junko Ueda

Enola Gay by Asia Menor

Upal by Kostnateni

The Loveliest Time by Carly Rae Jepsen

Michael by Killer Mike

Exul by Ne Obliviscaris

Hellmode by Jeff Rosenstock

Hometown to Come by Minhwi Lee

Life is but a Dream... by Avenged Sevenfold

Chaser by Femtanyl

Sadness / Abriction by Sadness / Abriction

O Monolith by Squid

But Here We Are by Foo Fighters

Stone by Baroness

History Books by The Gaslight Anthem

Why Does the Earth Give Us People to Love? by Kara Jackson

Rookie's Bustle by Ada Rook

Futility by Yakui The Maid

Let's Start Here. by Lil Yachty

The Age of Pleasure by Janelle Monae

Bee and the Whales by Galileo Galilei

Zach Bryan self titled

Everything is Alive by Slowdive

Let's Hope Heteros Fail, Learn, and Retire by Alice Longyu Gao

Se bueno by TURQUOISEDEATH

Yoshitsune by Poil & Junko Ueda

Perfect Picture by Hannah Diamond

January Never Dies by Balming Tiger

Jenny From Thebes by The Mountain Goats

Never Falter Hero Girl by Katie Dey

Sisterhood by lostrushi

#music posting #2023

[gravyhoney]

Cw// gun/weapon

Let me into your brain about the silly legos (hc’s) - ✧

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED ABOUT MY HCS‼️‼️

Idk which Legos you were referring to so I will make a HC post for Ninjago characters since it’s what I’m currently hyperfixating on.

Buckle in for an extremely long post because I am insane. Cutting it to keep it organized for u guys 🫶

So one thing about me is that I love incorporating other people’s headcanons into my own. And sometimes that leads to some contradicting headcanons, so in my little brain I have like, multiple different sets of headcanons for a bunch of different characters while also having My Headcanons, those being the ones I believe in the most/came up with without outside influence. I will be listing My Headcanons, but I type that entire preface to explain why some of my posts might be contradictory of the headcanons I list here 🫶

It’s gonna go like this in no particular order. (The order of how excited I am to share my hcs for them)

Character name- gender/pronouns, sexuality

List of headcanons

——————————————————

General-

Their eye color aligns with their element, they all have their natural eye colors, but after realizing/unlocking their elemental powers, they began to change.

Adding onto the above hc, Kai and Nya's eyes are still pretty dull due to them being like, the last two to realize their powers, while Jay's are extremely bright and vibrant.

Jay- she/they (occasionally he) transfem + gender-fluid, bisexual

Hard of hearing, wears hearing aids. I think the hearing loss has always been there, but I think her elemental power just worsened it, bc you know. Thunder loud.

That being said, I think she was the first to get her elemental powers. I think they got them when she was like, a really really young kid.

Has heterochromia.

Came out as trans like, mid-prime empire.

Has psychosis and suffers from delusions.

Not rlly a Jay hc, but related. Their mom gave them up because she was desperately hoping they wouldn't have an elemental power, but if she did, they'd be near unfindable because she lived through hell and didn't want Jay to have to go through the same.

AuDHD

Nya- she/they transfem nonbinary, bisexual demiromantic

Has a tremor after un-merging with the ocean.

Her and Kai both have pretty bad anger issues.

SHE CAN BREATHE UNDERWAAAATTTEEERRRRR I believe she can ok?

For a long time after Hands Of Time she hates the way she looks because of how much she looks like her mom.

Still holds a heavy resentment against their parents, because even though it wasn't their choice to leave, them and Kai still had to grow up alone.

Fucking hates the taste of cinnamon.

Has time blindness, but only after un-merging with the ocean. She became disoriented and confused about the passage of time after being the ocean for so long.

Sometimes they still feel pulled back to the water.

Best friends with Cole (I believe this one wholeheartedly)

ADHD

Lloyd- he/they nonbinary, aroace

Has insomnia, and a sleepwalking problem when he can get to sleep.

Looked fairly human when he was young, but as he got older, his Oni and Dragon features started showing more.

The feelings he felt for Harumi was mostly confusion because she was the first girl he got close to that didn't have what felt like an 'older sister' role in his life.

Really likes bugs.

Has auditory processing disorder.

Their body doesn't regulate temperature regularly.

Religiously watches iceberg videos.

Likes wearing more loose fitting, baggy clothing.

High-empathy autistic.

Kai- he/him transman, bisexual

He and Nya both have pretty bad anger issues.

He likes occasionally dressing femininely, but usually decides against it because he’s afraid people won’t take him seriously.

HIS ASS IS NOT THE DESIGNATED DRIVER

Has burn scars that go pretty far up his arms due to his own elemental power.

Extremely high body heat, has to wear gloves to avoid burning people at the touch.

Has a pretty bad memory due to constant concussions (his ass got beat to shit CONSTANTLY)

Was stealth trans for a while, because he wanted people to take him seriously, but stopped caring after a while and is extremely open about his identity.

Has a deep paranoia that he’s going to hurt the people he cares about, and is constantly over correcting at ever little mistake.

ADHD

Cole- he/they, gay ace grey-aro

After the events of DOTD he has to use a mobility aid for a while while he gets accustomed to having a body again.

Body-image issues.

He feels like he’s supposed to be in charge of keeping everyone safe.

Best friends with Nya and Vania (I believe in this one SO hard.)

He loves cooking, and is very defensive about it. NOBODY is allowed in the kitchen while he's cooking (except Nya she's his taste tester).

Has constant night terrors and has a very detailed sleep routine to avoid them.

Super good with kids.

Girls girl (gender neutral).

OCD + ADHD.

Zane- they/them agender, panromantic ace

Will sometimes pick up little crafts or projects, jack of all trades type vibe.

Is actually SUPER up to date with every single internet trend or meme.

Can't taste (bc they're a nindroid...) but fr thought for years that all food just had no taste until the robot reveal and they're like 'ohh'

Has constantly wildly shifting morals.

Genuinely the scariest of the group, sometimes freaking out everyone else. This makes them sad. They present themselves in such a way to make them approachable.

Has a tendency to blame themself when everything goes wrong.

Refuses to talk about their feelings to anyone else, bottling it up.

Autistic.

Pixal- any pronouns agender, unlabeled ace

Runs every single online forum about the ninja, none of them know.

Always has to feel useful, or she gets stressed out easily.

Listens to podcasts when he works.

Wildly defensive.

Felt a little unworthy of the Samurai X title when nobody knew it was them.

Low-empathy autistic.

Skylor- she/they, lesbian

True neutral (generally looks out for herself, doesn't really do things for the greater good, but for her own sake)

Doesn't remember her mom at all, she passed away when she was extremely young.

After the events of S4 she completely uprooted her life, changed literally everything about herself to disconnect herself from her father. Renamed the noodle shop, and completely rewrote the menu.

Makes most of her own clothes.

Picked up painting, is insanely good at it.

Slightly self destructive, constantly trying to distance themself from the ninja, but Kai always drags her back.

Realized her elemental power at a very young age, mostly because of her father.

BPD + CPTSD.

Vania- she/fae/it/he transwoman, lesbian aromantic

Very talkative.

Writes to Cole a lot (she has both a phone and his phone number it just likes writing to him).

Plays a lot of instruments, faer favorites being the harp and the violin.

Extremely anxious that she's not going to be a good queen, constantly overcorrecting.

Really indecisive and always changing his mind.

AuDHD

Harumi- she/he bigender, pansexual

Probably bites people.

Because of how sheltered she was with the royal family, she doesn't know a lot of basic life skills, and had to teach herself near everything she knows.

He did learn how to sew, and mends his own clothes.

Has albinism.

Always blaming her problems on other people, that being a product of the extreme pressure he was under when princess.

ADHD + CPTSD.

Sora- she/they/various neos transfem, lesbian

Always has to be busy, or she will start spiraling.

Wildly protective of Arin.

Was constantly getting into fights in the early days of living in the crossroads, very quickly learned they'd have to constantly fight to survive.

Talks about xer childhood like 'haha yeah it be how it be :)' and everyone listening is completely horrified.

Views everyone she meets as a threat until they prove they aren't.

Really likes reading, her favorite genre being sci-fi.

Does some creative writing, but has never shown anyone her writing.

Love language is quality time.

Since realizing their elemental power, she's had a tremor in her hands. She hates it.

Low-empathy autistic + OCD.

Arin- he/they transmasc, unlabeled aroace

Needs people to be in the kitchen when he bakes, he's very social.

Wildly protective of Sora

Has night terrors, has never talked about it.

Actually really good at fighting dirty if needed. Bro kicks ASS.

Picks at his fingernails.

Has read Sora's writing, (she doesn't know) he finds some comfort in it.

Love language is physical touch.

Is always completely down to prank people, a devious little guy.

Nearsighted, but doesn't ever mention it because he doesn't know.

Craves validation from anywhere he can get it.

Low-empathy autistic + ADHD

Wyldfyre- he/she/they nonbinary, queer greyaro

Anger issues for days.

Really physically strong.

Love language is physical touch.

Has burn scars on their hands and thinks they make them look badass.

Talks loudly because he has hearing loss.

Doesn't know how to interact with people, seeing as she was raised by a dragon.

Low pain tolerance, but knows how to hide it.

It never came up until she started living with people, but he's deathly afraid of seeming weak or incapable.

ADHD

Euphrasia- she/her transwoman, unlabeled ace

Introverted as hell.

Can hold her own in a fight for a surprisingly long time (I know this is not canon compliant, let me be delusional)

Had really long hair, but had a manic episode and cut it all off.

Likes drawing.

Despite her job, she's not too keen on reading.

Autistic

#ninjago #lego ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising #ninjago sora #ninjago kai #ninjago zane #ninjago jay #ninjago cole #ninjago arin #ninjago pixal #ninjago nya #ninjago lloyd #ninjago skylor #ninjago harumi #ninjago vania #ninjago wyldfyre #ninjago euphrasia #ninjago headcanons #lego ninjago headcanon #finished my headcanon masterpost #mason writes #mason posts #lego ninjago dr #lego ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising ninjago #gun tw #tw gun #tw: gun #tw:gun

[nerdby]

So the new Deadpool & Wolverine trailer was released.

There have been some people saying that -- surprise, surprise -- the TVA is going to be a villain in the movie and I'm not sure why but they seem confused about why the TVA would be villains.

Peeps, the TVA are cops and they're probably the most accurate depiction of cops in the history of copaganda.

Like they spend the ENTIRE first season of Loki trying to kill a very obviously trans-coded Sylvie -- literally hunting her down to kill her. If y'all don't know nothing about that ya need to Google Trans While Walking laws in the US. It literally lets the cops arrest ANY trans people they think could be sex workers. New York was one of the first states to repeal the law in 2019. But it's not just Sylvie, the TVA is after -- they just straight up MURDER anyone who steps out of line in ANY timeline EVER.

And in season two they commit MASS GENOCIDE against hundreds of thousands of variants in branched timelines for no fucking reason. Just because they existed.

"Oh but Milo the thing was melting down--"

Yes, and that was proven to be a completely moot point because even after they fixed the thingamajig -- I forgot the name and I don't have Disney+ right now -- it STILL fucking melted down because of Kang bullshit.

"Oh but Milo remember when Loki became Yggdrasil?"

Yes, Milo remembers Loki becoming the God of stories and custodian of the multiverse. That's the actual term from the comics. It's not the same thing as being a janitor. Exactly....? Cause his job is kinda to just be there and make sure things don't get tangled up and fucked up so....Huh. Is Loki a janitor?🤔

Welp, I'm sure that'll offend some batshit fanperson somewhere.

You know what else Milo remembers?

When Loki went back and saved the bad cops who committed MASS GENOCIDE and recruited them to work for the TVA again. And also that by the end of the second season the TVA's job was to observe and intervene to prevent -- basically they're the fucking thought police. Literally.

They might be worse than the fucking cops -- the TVA might as well just be the Marvelverse version of the fucking CIA. TVA. CIA. Why am I just now noticing this?😶 Anyway, there are whole ass lists of history books -- nonfiction -- and documentaries about why the CIA are terrorists so....

But getting back to DP & Wolvey....

The second season of Loki was basically -- the plot was a metaphor for the importance of police reform, right? But here's the thing we need to remember about TVA agents: They're only humans. Some of whom are perfectly okay with committing widespread, mass genocide and I don't know if we're gonna see Loki in DP & Wolvey, but I feel like that Loki might maybe be sitting on his Yggdrasil throne going,

"Son of a bitch -- Sylvie was right. You people are just infuckingcapable of not being terrorists."

Hopefully cause I swear to fucking fuck if I have to see Loki defending the CIA -- even though he can be a little delusional at times so it wouldn't exactly be out of character -- I will just not be okay. I will set the fucking cinema on fire. Not really but I will fantasize about it🤣

And that's why I think we're gonna see them turn on Wade and Logan, though. Because the good eggs are just outnumbered by the bad eggs unfortunately. The TVA is gonna use Wade to do their dirty work and just be like

Anyway, I'm sorry my thoughts are kind of all over the place right now. I might be moving soon and I'm kinda manic right now. I don't know why I'm telling you that😂

#comic books #graphic novels #marvel comics #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #comic book movies #marvel movies #books #loki series #deadpool #thor movies #avengers #deadpool 3 #deadpool and wolverine #wade wilson #the tva #james logan howlett #logan howlett #wolverine #the xmen #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #sylvie laufeydottir #tom hiddleston #ryan reynolds #hugh jackman #acab includes the tva #lgbt #fan theory

[sirwow]

As I’m currently resting my wrist from drawing and I’m still thinking out more detailed story beats for WC I thought I’d just do some random rambling about my Pikmin au that won’t be very organized lol. Also adding a cut here as not to flood anyone’s unfortunate timeline

First off since I imagine I’ll get asked this someone someday, a small list of all the local losers preferences.

Olimar - Straight Cis. Doesn’t really get anything outside his bubble but is supportive regardless.

Louie - AroAce Cis (also has the tism). His only love is food.

Alph - GayDemi Cis. Likes love but not actively looking for it.

Brittany - GayDemi Cis. Her and Alph always laugh about the fact people think they’re dating just because they show physical affection to one another sometimes.

Charlie - Bi Cis. Koppite crew is literally the LGB.

Pom - Straight trans. You are not safe from Pingo propaganda.

Terry - Bi Cis. Probably doesn’t even know what being bi is and just thinks he has to make up his mind.

Penelope - Pan cis. Olimars shock when he found out when they were dating that she found girls cute too.

Zack - Pan trans. Saw he had 13 brothers and said wouldn't it be funny to have another.

Yorke - Straight cis. The most gay looking straight guy.

Nelle - Straight cis. to yorke "i hate you sm. wanna kiss"

Dobbs - Gay cis. Charlie and Dobbs are the local toxic yaoi so sorre

Shepherd - AroBi cis. the only dates that exist are DOG PARK dates.

Collin - BiDemi cis. Currently married to coffee and 4 hours of sleep

Russ - Straight cis. Probably does have a wife but no kids

Yonny - AroAce non-binary (F to NB) masculine presenting. Galaxy record for being the first person to survive giving top surgery to himself.

Dingo - Straight cis. Yonny makes fun of his failure of flirting.

Bernard - AceBi cis. He will never realize hes being flirted with at any point in time.

Now thats done, some more stuff about just some general relationships people have with each other. Olimar and Louie when Louie first joined HF were pretty neutral about each other even after 4 but after 2 and deeply apologizing for leaving him behind scared, Louie and Olimar got much friendlier with each other. They started carpooling and even spending some time outside of work together. While Terry thinks Louie is cool if a bit strange sometimes, Lebe is rather more skeptical and scared of him. Penelope worries he might be a bad influence but can't help but worry about Louie as much as Olimar does when Oli vents to her about Louie.

Alph and Brittany are best friends but their relationship isnt the most balanced at times. Brittany is quite quick to getting emotional and blaming others for things. Alph tries not to hold it against her too much given hes aware of her issues and why she is like that in the first place but it can rub off on his timid nature. Though he admired Charlie all through 3, Brittany's negative comments eventually changed Alph's perception on Charlie to just being someone he works with.

Now some of my own world building brain rot wo! a time system, joy. I was just thinking about how do people keep time between every other planet so i propose: Galactic time. Galactic time is not based off anything but purely numbers. 1 "day" is 20 hours long and there is no PM or AM. Its based of a single founding clock that all the other galactic clocks follow now and is usually exclusively used for interstellar work and jobs or meeting up on different planets. The galactic months are all 25 days long with only 10 of them. a galactic week is 5 days long and though i don't have names at the moment the months and days also have different names as not to get confused with any planet names or calendars they might have.

thank you if you've read my ramblings this far. have louie drinking paint

#pikmin wraiths call #pikmin au #pikmin headcanons #pikmin writing #sirwow ramble

[ali-dot-txt]

yo i played persona 5 for the first time (III)

Alright, so this post (previous one here and first post in the chain here) is going to be about my general final notes and about Hina as a character.

Despite all my gripes, I did end up enjoying the game. I wouldn't have poured 230 hours into it if I'd hated it.

But most of the enjoyment I wrung from it was a result of the mod and the personal headcanon I spent the whole game developing. I really don't think this game would've been for me without that, which is why I don't intend on playing Persona 4 (well, at least until that game's female protagonist mod gets off the ground). I might play Persona 3 Portable as that game's female protagonist after a little break, though.

The final tally of Hina's Confidants:

Sorry to all the Yusuke fans.

Everyone's final stats:

In 2017, this would be about 88,000 dollars? Which is an absurd amount of money for her to just have on hand.

Favorite characters? I guess I'll list the characters:

Hina (cop-out, i know, but I like her a lot)

Futaba

Haru

Lavenza/the twins

Sojiro

Sumire

Ann

Ryuji

Akechi (he really jumped up in the last arc)

Hifumi

Sae

Morgana (he really jumped very late in the game as well)

Yusuke (sorry, Yusuke fans)

Iwai (I feel like I'd like him more if I'd got further in his Confidant)

Chihaya (same as Iwai)

Makoto (a sudden and incredible fall)

Maruki (he's the worst therapist ever, but he's pretty interesting when he's not talking way too much and his final scenes are really good)

Skilled Gamer (gonna be real, I don't remember his name)

Ohya

Takemi

Mishima (would have preferred if he was removed entirely)

Hina never met Kawakami outside of class and never spoke to that politician.

Anyway, as for Hina...

She's maybe my favorite player character in any video game ever. The slight jankiness of her implementation lent her so much charm, and characterizing her was a ton of fun, especially with how close my trans headcanon seemed to the game's reality. Does that affection transfer to Akira/Ren, or other people's genderswapped Jokers? Well, no, not really. I can't say I'm an expert on the way people view Joker as a character, but from a cursory glance, I feel like Hina's distinct enough from the popular interpretation that she's basically an entirely different person slotted into the role of protagonist. Maybe that's conceited of me.

Hina has the most common family name in Japan, and I thought Hina was the most popular given name in Japan in 1999, the year she was probably born. Turns out that wasn't the case, Hina is actually much more popular recently. The actual most popular name for 1999? Miku. So if I'd had accurate data, she may well have been called Miku Satou. Probably not though.

Hina didn't have friends in her hometown, partially because she was really quiet as a kid and partially because everyone started avoiding her after she started coming to school in a girls' uniform.

Hina's parents have been supportive from the beginning. In fact, her name is from them (she requested it). Also, they sent her to Tokyo with a maid outfit in her box of stuff, which is extremely funny. She calls them once a week, early on Sundays. She doesn't tell them about her phantom thief activities.

Hina's legal name is changed, but not her legal gender (people only ever call her Hina, even in situations where they'd have only read her name off legal forms, so her name must legally be Hina).

Hina largely doesn't react when people misgender her because she's used to it.

When Maruki mentioned that Hina might make a good counselor herself someday, the headcanon wheels started turning in my head and I realized that that's really fucking good. Hina wants to go to university to become a youth counselor, because she saw what happens when someone has the worst counselor ever. Not to mention Hina wanting to help kids like her who might not react well to an authority figure telling them how to live is really sweet.

Hina's trying to create a real version of her Phantom Thief outfit she can wear casually. She has red gloves in her winter school outfit! Why else would she have those? She's going to get white glasses frames next.

Hina isn't good at talking to people, but she comes off as confident because she also has a hard time speaking in any particular tone, so she almost always seems to be talking without reservations.

Hina is an only child. (Fairly sure this is an element of most people's imagined Jokers. No way does this person have siblings.)

I don't think most of the harsh things I put in quotes to indicate that Hina said them are things she actually would say. I think she's probably thinking them.

Hina has a gaming PC in her hometown. Her buying that laptop was because she was going stir-crazy from not having access to a desktop computer.

Hina likes Morgana much more than I do. She doesn't think of him as a big brother (lmao), but she does love him like a brother.

In contrast, I think Hina has exactly as much disdain for Mishima as I have.

Hina isn't really invested in Akechi. She thinks he's a terrible weirdo who she wishes would stop talking to her. When she learns about his actual motivations, that switches to thinking of him as kind of pathetic. She wishes he would have talked to her about his issues at all, because she probably could have helped him deal with them like she helps literally everyone else, but she's not so broken up about him not being in her life anymore. (In contrast, I actually quite like Akechi now that I get what they were going for with him.)

Hina is good at schoolwork, but she's lacking in common sense.

Takemi actually never misgendered Hina, and Maruki only did so once. It's pretty funny how the medical professionals are consistently the least transphobic people in the game. I wonder why that is? 🤔

Hina got really good at making coffee and curry in the year she spent at Leblanc.

Hina being shorter than regular Joker is especially funny because her animation speed has to be adjusted, so she walks really fast in cutscenes where she moves places. She has to move that fast to keep up with people.

Hina's relationship with Haru is going to cause an absolutely awful scandal if it ever becomes public. I have no idea how they're going to deal with that, but hopefully they'll figure it out.

Hina doesn't really find any new friends when she moves back home, but she's alright with keeping to herself and focusing on her studies while having friends she can talk to online and a cat who can talk.

Hina might be rejected from a lot of universities for her criminal record or her transness. She might've had her record expunged, but she still spent time in juvie, not to mention the heavily political implications of her actions might risk scandal for any university that she enrolls in. She might end up having to apply to universities abroad, where the Phantom Thieves and the events surrounding them weren't so much in the public consciousness.

Anyway, that's Hina Satou. I might write fic for her someday? But she requires a lot of context to really understand her. I care about her a lot, and people understanding her is important to me for some reason.

And finally: some of my favorite screenshots of Hina.

#persona 5 #post series #p5r #persona 5 royal #p5r spoilers #persona 5 spoilers #joker persona 5 #trans joker persona 5 #hina satou #satou hina #modding #postmortem #trans headcanon #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #persona #rambly #very rambly #extremely rambly

[bookofmac]

Deadloch Speculation: Killer Edition, major spoilers to follow

Okay, so with the revelation that the killer's profile is that a man looking for validation, and also has access to vehicles owned by William Carruthers (possibly being will himself but we'll get to that). This implies that the man is someone who is friendly with the women of the time, unassuming, but also able to access the pentabarbatol. And so, here are my suspects with Pros and Cons to their likelyhood

William Carruthers

Evidence- He's named in the penultimate epsidoe, he's been a chekov's gun all season with his distictive shoe in the painting of him and Margaret being pointed out twice. It could be part of the subverseive comentary of the show that we Don't get to meet the killer before he's aprehended, or he might be going under another name and avoiding

Counter Arguement - We have not seen this man once outside of a painting. Could be the final red herring, does he exist or is Margrette using him as a smoke screen. (i've also seen some speculation that William is pre transition Margaret which while being a common trope in crime and horror fiction it still feeds into the 'trans/gnc psycho killer' trope and I don't think I want the Kate's to tackle that in the current political climate)

Ray 'Pies' McLintock

Evidence- Skye's best friend and works at the bakery. The male character who isn't an active shit cunt. we 'know' the most about him. Donkey was ill so could reasonably have needed pentabarbatol. it would be narratively devistating for the centeral cast if he were the killer, came to Deadloch 'looking for love'; perhaps this means female validation? Not for nothing he dresses like a fisherman

Counter Arguement - Seems to be unable to swim/swim confidently, wobbily access to the Carruther's family

Gez Rahme

Evidence: Organised the Movie at the lake on the day it happened and would be a hell of a coincidence for the bodies to come up during the movie, has easy access to Alyena's GP practice, In every episode of the show, seemingly very competant and just wants things to be chill for his wife? as one of the higher managers of the Feastaval he may have the easiest access to the Carruther's car.

Counter Arguement: the Actor who plays Gez is Trans masc, and while that can play with some of the gendered assumptions of the killer, it also falls into the same nasty transphobic tropes that has already been discussed with the William entery. Wants things to be chill for his wife.

James King

Evidence: physically fit (cyclist), seems to be willingly obtuse to how much HE'S been fucking over the investigation (tarp incident, not being clear about what's come up in the forensic reports), has access to the investigation and would be able to be 1 step ahead.

Counter Arguement: he barely seems to care about anyone other than himself so why would he kill the shithouse men in town?, also constantly stealing abby's ideas which seems to be in conflict with the idea that the killer wants to be acknowledged as this sorta white knight vigilante. Started being involved with Abby while she was his student at uni which while not illegal makes him a shit cunt with ethics that don't align with the killers appear to be. no known connection with the Carruthers siblings. Was in Perth at roughly the time the car would have been driven into the water.

Where I sit on all this

I think it's Ray. It makes the most sense and Eddie is gonna go off her tit at him and I think that'd be something the Kates would write. I also think there is a chance that Ray is somehow connected to the Carrruthers, possibly being William or William's son but that is much more tin-foily. I also think that James is in on it/ knows who it is but is keeping quiet for currently unknown reasons.

Please if anyone has any evidence or points to support or counter what i've listed please reply/respond! I'm really enjoying the mystery of the series

#this is barely editted so if there are mistakes and misspelt words ignore em #deadloch #deadloch spoilers #deadloch speculation #cw: dicussions of transphobia #lemme know if thats the right tag to use here #and i am mentioning bc i have seen some speculation and its a bit yikes in a show where they dicussed the gnc killer trope in ep 5 #there the two posts from pinselwurm that i really like and i largely agree with their point that it's probably ray #but i think there's gotta be an extra twist as to who ray is #bc we know a bunch of stuff about the guy but also nothing at all #Long post

[kyliafanfiction]

Take Your Favorite (Het) Ship and Make Them Lesbians

So, the other day, I read a Rule 63!Zuko/Katara fic that had the tag “take your favorite ship then make them lesbians” (which somehow was a tag no one else had tagged their fic as, which is a real travesty), and that got me thinking. (The fic, for reference and Science Purposes)

(Rule 63, for those not familiar with the term, is a meme that says  "for every given male character, there is a female version of that character and vice versa”. In a fanfic context, Rule 63 is usually another term for ‘cisswap’/Always a girl Aus, i.e. a story where a character who is one character in canon, was born a different one in the AU. These are not the same as trans fic, though sometimes the lines can blur. The various ‘the Girl Who Lived’ fics that exist out there for Fem!Harry, for instance)

That tag is itself really interesting, and it got me thinking. Because there are het ships of mine that I would totally want to see a Rule 63 lesbian version of (i.e. where the guy was always a girl) but there are also ones that I... just wouldn’t.

So I suppose the question is: What het ships do you guys have that you still would find as interesting, and would want to see in a fic (or even consider writing in a fic) if the male character was Rule 63′d? And why?

For me, the top of the list would probably be Dramione (Harry Potter). One, because on a purely shallow level I have to imagine that femaleDraco would be very pretty (:rofl:) but also because there would be some interesting differences in the way Dacia Malfoy (placeholder name) would behave, compared to Draco. Both vis-a-vis Harry, but also Hermione. Plus, Dacia would be less the ‘bad boy’ and more likely the ‘Alpha Bitch’, which is a somewhat different set of tropes, to say the least. Would Dacia have reached out to Harry in the same way, in first year? Maybe, maybe not. Would she still have had Crabbe and Goyle as her goons, or instead say, Pansy and Millicent Bullstrode? A lot of this would also depend on how you see the gender politics among purebloods in the wizarding world (are sons more favored, or no? Are the genders equal? Are there certain expectations about women and their behavior? etc)

My second choice would be Xander/Cordelia, from BtVS. For one, it would be interesting because we could drill down into Xander’s canon behavior and try to separate what is just Xander being Xander, what is a product of his upbringing, and what is a result of him struggling with performing ideas of toxic masculinity because he believes he’s supposed to (related to the second point). If in a fic, Xandra (placeholder name) still has the same apparently shitty parents, how would it look? We can surmise that Mr. Harris presumably berated Xander about how he’d never be a real man a lot, though I can’t recall if the dream version of him does so in “Restless”. But we also know that Xander fears turning into his dad, a lot. Xendra might fear becoming an alcholic like her dad, but she may more likely fear ending up becoming like her mom - letting herself be abused rather than being the abuser, etc. It would also be interesting because, given how things were in 1997/1998, Cordelia realizing she’s gay/bi (or at least being out even to one person) would be a different dynamic. Especially if she and Xendra get caught at the same time. Or maybe Cordelia is more careful, and Xendra is more willing to be the dirty little secret she makes out with in closets? If caught, would Cordelia ever be willing to commit the possibly even greater social suicide of openly dating a girl in a late 90s High School? Or could she pull it off because she’s just that much Queen of the School? How does Willow’s crush on Xander work in an AU where she’s Xendra? If willow’s crush was about it being on a ‘safe’ and ‘unattainable’ boy (a common experience I’ve seen many cis lesbians talking about with regards to when they were younger and still thought or still tried to convince themselves they were straight), then presumably she wouldn’t have crushed on Xendra? Might she have crushed on Jesse? (or does Xendra end up being how Willow realizes she’s gay sooner?) Would Xendra have crushed on Jesse? Is Xendra gay or bi in this AU? Does she still crush on Buffy? If so, does she handle rejection or the prospect thereof better because she assumes Buffy is straight? Does she even try to ask her out?  I mean, there are others I’d read a Rule 63! Lesbian AU for, or even have, when they exist, but I have to admit I don’t find the potential dynamics inherent to be quite as interesting. And yeah, there are some het ships I ship that I just... wouldn’t find quite as interesting if they were lesbians, or just can’t see happening at all in a recognizeable way.

So I ask you tumblr - if you were to take a het ship and make them lesbians, which one(s) would you pick, and why?

#Rule 63 #Cisswap #Genderswap #Shipping #Fandom #Musings #Take Your Favorite (Het) Ship and Make Them Lesbians #Just Little Fandom Things #Just Little Shipping Things #Genderbent AU #Genderbending #Genderswapping

[ashtonisvibing]

big ol' list of jackie headcanons

@jselorekeeper's call for ego hcs has now made me wanna just... dump all my jackie hcs into a post. obviously, y'know, pre note, these are personal headcanons that i have for jackie. honestly this is just my fanon interpretation of him in general.

he's trans (trans man, he/him) and autistic, and his special interests are robotics and superhero comics (mostly marvel, he's slowly starting to dabble in dc as well)

speaking of marvel, he had a major crush on spiderman growing up (still does in terms of the adult iterations)

he has a german shepherd puppy named grimlock, named after one of his favorite transformers from the 1984 show (a personal favorite show of his)

his super hero identity "jackieboy man" is actually a herosona that he made as a kid! the video of jackieboy man that we've got, where he's in a red full body and cape and all that? yeah, that was the herosona. obviously now that he's an adult the suit looks much better, but he kept the name because... he honestly couldn't think of anything better

he taught himself how to play the drums when he was a young adult just for the fuck of it

as mentioned in the ask i sent to the lore keeper, jackie got his powers (super strength) from a group of scientists that had kidnapped and experimented on him when he was a teen to create a super weapon of sorts. it was extremely painful, and traumatizing for him. honestly the only reason he escaped (that i didn't originally mention cuz it was... a bit much, so warning for death) was because his body and mind just had enough, and with a huge burst of strength he broke out, killing quite a few in the process. afterwards his brain entirely repressed it, with the memories only appearing as nightmares. he only remembers now because marvin unlocked those memories when he tried figuring out why jackie was having the same nightmare since he was a teen. and because of all of this he's now terrified of getting any sort of injections (needles in general make him nervous but so long as he's not getting the injection he can stand to be around them).

on a brighter note, tattoos!! he's only got a couple, a trans flag on his right peck, and spiderman's logo on his left bicep. he might get another one but who knows, tattoos aren't his biggest thing (obviously he likes them, but he's not looking to go all out like chase)

his lip rings were a major impulse decision. they aren't really a thing for him, but this one time his brain said "get lip rings" and he went for it.

he's built his own little septiceye sam droid that acts as a camera of sorts, that he uses when out on lookouts and stuff, with a programmed personality to boot. its optic nerve even doubles as a laser! he also uses it whenever bing has parts that break down, sam can scan bing to help jackie identify the problem and fix it easier.

oh god, the dad jokes. i mean, he is a dad (yes i gave him (and marvin cuz marvelsepticeye my beloved) two fankids), but the amount of dad jokes he makes is enough to make a teenager groan and roll their eyes out of their skull. dad jokes and quick one liners are his specialty.

might be surprising but he's a huge fan of drawing, and has a realism style. although his sketchbook is 90% marvin drawings-

as a kid his preferred way of communicating important things with his parents was via slideshow presentation. i'm not joking, something about laying out everything he needed to say in a neat format always helped him when he got anxious about talking to them. it was actually how he came out to his parents as trans.

that's all i have for now but i can guarantee i will be adding more to this list as i come up with them

#ashton is talking #jackieboy man #headcanons

[phoenixyfriend]

Dear Creator Letter: Anakin-Clone Appreciation Exchange

Organized as:

General/Setting Likes

Gender Stuff

Setting AUs I like

About the ships

DNW with clarifications

General Likes:

Working with/around PTSD with each other

Asexual or ace-spec characters (doesn’t have to be explicit, just an underlying Vibe is fine)

hurt/comfort (NOT whump)

Generally I like ships being really sweet with each other, even when the sex or kink is rougher

I enjoy pretty much any kind of gender play, including:

Character is now Nonbinary

Trans (in the direction of canon)

Trans (in the direction opposite canon)

Questioning/Experimenting

Fluid

Magic sex swaps of the ‘woke up with my body a different reproductive setup, am learning the meaning of gender euphoria’ variety

Whatever the hell Ranma ½ technically is

Cisswaps (born a different cis gender) so long as it’s not used primarily to turn a same gender ship into a het ship

I do like AUs of all sorts, so long as the core of the character is intact, with vibes to match. This includes:

Time-travel, fix-its

Arranged/political marriage

Soulmate AU

Background or role swap AUs

Omegaverse (WITHOUT exaggerated omegaverse sexism or cissexism at all, and without mild/moderate sexism or cissexism as major plot points)

Modern AU - chill bakery/coffee shop/bookstore/beekeeper stuff - classy criminal playing cat and mouse with the FBI agent trying to catch them - “oh no, you’re my teenager’s English teacher and this parent-teacher conference just got very awkward because we started dating over the summer before I knew” - one of them is a celebrity - literally just whatever

Historical Fantasy (mostly for the fashion and/or if the author gets really invested in things like trade routes and agricultural pressures and inane tax law)

History AU, but only if you go the Bridgerton route of Fun And Funky Tropes Without The Racism

Royal Fantasy

Soulmate

Role Swap (does not have to be between the ship!)

Backstory swap (e.g. Never a Jedi AU, Raised a Sith AU, Senator of Tatooine AU, etc.)

For Want of a Nail

Faustian Castle AU

ABOUT THE SHIPS

These are not prompts! These are just me trying to explain why/how I ship them, the vibes I usually go for, or the kinks I associate with them.

Cody&Anakin or Cody/Anakin I think Cody is tentatively respectful and unimpressed by Anakin. I've got a whole post about it.

Rex&Anakin, Rex/Anakin, and Rex/Cody/Anakin I don't think Rexwalker needs much explanation. We all know the draw there. As for Codexwalker... I need them to share him. I need Anakin flustered. I need Rex flustered. I need Cody laughing at them.

Any given mix of Anakin with Fives, Echo, and Hardcase A ship of shenanigans! I do want Fives and Echo treated as a set whenever possible. Doesn't matter if they're both dating Anakin, or if one is dating him and the other is wingmanning like kingdom come, just need them to be A Set.

Fox&Anakin or Fox/Anakin Reluctance, suspicion, and a slow growth of trust is the name of the game. Fox is so very guarded and he is JUST as unimpressed by Anakin's nonsense as Cody, but with far less cause or inclination to trust or develop affection for Anakin.

Rex&Vader or Rex/Vader Bring that boy back to the light, baby.

Kix/Anakin or Kix&Anakin Not too grumpy of a medic, please. He's soft-spoken in canon, yeah? Also I like the idea that Kix is eager to prove himself to Anakin in non-medical settings. He's already proven himself as a medic! Let him prove his kissing skills!

Alpha-17/Anakin Alpha is challenging Anakin to prove himself. He is even less impressed than Cody. He is mean about it. I'm not sure if he'll ever like Anakin, but he might tolerate him long enough to have a grudging fondness after Anakin manically destroys a walker that was about to crush him or something.

Regarding my unwanted list/clarification on my DNWs

DNW that don’t need much elaboration:

incest (cloneshipping is fine)

bestiality

minor/adult ships - age difference of less than three years is fine - major age difference where both are adults is fine

Reader inserts, major inclusion of original characters

Lower body fluids (talking about blood or saliva is fine; excrement is not), vomit

Sick fic (injury recovery is fine)

IDK I just get nothing out of most sick fic

Non-canon Dark Histories meant only to make someone more sympathetic or pitiable (e.g. especially Rape as Backstory)

Downer endings (includes breakups that are not resolved)

Smoking/cigarettes/alcohol/recreational drug use

General sexism or bigotry as a major theme, or from one member of the ship to the other, as well as bigotry-based dirty talk

Moderate to extreme sexism or cissexism for omegaverse

anti-intersexuality bias, usage of 'intersex’ for dualsex (they’re not the same thing)

Misgendering

Particularly dark topics, including: - Noncon - major character death (I’m fine with “Tarkin died and that sure is impacting the war” but “the main character’s younger sister just died and the plot revolves around the grief” is a bit much) - underage sexual content - adultery/infidelity - whump - unresolved terminal illness - suicide - self-harm - domestic abuse - child abuse

To keep things simple, no nsfw for this one

Basic character/setting things:

Werewolf or folklore AUs.

No character bashing. I know the event already has this as a rule, but I want to make sure it's clear that I don't want ANYONE bashed, not just Anakin and the clones. - By this, I mean vilifying them based on negative fanon or otherwise non-canon actions or behaviors (e.g. Anakin mind-controlling Padme into a relationship), or stories that prioritize punishing a character for their narrative crimes in the plot, especially in a way that is inconsistent with the setting or characters doing the punishment (e.g. Padme or the Jedi being incredibly harsh with Anakin about the Tusken Massacre, despite Padme moving past it easily in canon, and the Jedi displaying extreme forgiveness and providing rehabilitation to other characters that Fall, like Quinlan). -The whole Anakin/Consequences movement is one that I dislike immensely. If you don’t know what it is, you’re probably not doing it. If you do know what it is, then you know what I mean here. - It is very common/popular to write Qui-Gon as a neglectful, cold, or downright abusive caregiver/parent figure to the children in his care. I do not like this in the slightest.

For some reason, a lot of writers are very casual about violating a character’s bodily autonomy “for their own good.” I don’t like this (unless it’s horror, but that’s a different topic), and ask that you refrain from having characters do something like that for a person’s own good unless there are some massive extenuating circumstances. Please, for the love of god, do not have characters nonconsensually drug each other with sleeping pills as an act of care unless it's meant to be a sign of how dark and fucked up they are. Like, if Vader is drugging someone 'for their own good,' that's one thing, but...

I’m pro-Jedi and pro-New Mandos. I do not want anything that suggests they: - deserved what happened to them - needed to change or learn to accept more militant values/that attachment is good - were stealing/brainwashing children or engaging in cultural genocide - Traviss-style Mando Supremacy is a no-go - This isn’t technically a DNW because it’s too difficult for the mods to enforce, but I’m not a huge fan of large amounts of Mando'a. If it makes sense for a scene (as in, characters are speaking Basic to one another and would include Mando'a for contextually necessary reasons) or has connotations that can’t be translated, then sure, but dropping in “ad'ika” or “gar gai” every few lines grates on me. Translation convention, please!

I do like the True Mandos but please don’t lionize them.

I have minimal interest in the Original Trilogy and no interest in the Sequels; my mind is squarely in the Prequels and pre-canon era. - That said, I do delight in having baby versions of the characters present; I am always open to toddler Skywalker twins cameo. - I’m not very into the Bad Batch. Cameos are fine.

No Barr*ssoka. No, not even as a background thing.

No Cod*wan. No, not even as a background thing. Preferably, no Jedi Master/Clone ships at all, but especially not Obi-Wan/Clones. (Knight/Clones is fine).

No Master/Padawan. I have exceptions when reading, but for an exchange, I’d prefer not to have any in my gift.

Vilifying Padme in the process of explaining why she isn’t with Anakin. She can be an ex, they could be in an open relationship, they could have not gotten in a relationship at all and just stayed friends, I don’t care, just… be nice about her.

The suggestion that Padme was mind-controlled into loving Anakin.

If you write Rebellion/OT setting versions of the ships, please don’t go hard on the clones being Old.

The word wh*re is considered a slur among many sex workers, and while I’m not among that category, I feel uncomfortable seeing it in contexts that don’t really justify it. If it’s a matter of characterization, to signify a character is a bad person, or part of a rougher underground community where it’s an in-group term, or a period setting, that’s one thing, but just as a part of dirty talk or an accusation or teasing? No, no thank you.

#star wars #dear creator #dear creator letter #exchanges

[bish-plz-haha]

SPOILERS AHEAD

I have many thoughts about GO(2) and I need to sort them all out (in no particular order) and I'm reading through tumblr and everything else and I got so many thoughts and theories I've seen that I absolutely love and I want to list them all (if I can find corresponding posts, I will link them—Sorry in advance for the amount of links in this post: read at your own will). So, without further ado:

There's a lot of theories out there about who Angel Crowley™️ might be but I think my money is on Lucifer. Perhaps Samael, maybe Raphael, but my heart says Lucifer. In a way, though, I kinda hope that we dont get his God Given name because, as a nonbinary/trans leaning person, it makes me happy that he chose a name for himself instead of living with his given name.

"Class-A surreptitious miracle." In which, its actually not surreptitious because, as much as they tried to make it the most fractional, insubstantial miracle, it was powerful enough to bring back the dead 25x over, and I think it definitely scared The Metatron (dick) enough to want to see to it personlly that they were separated- "a miracle only the mightiest of Archangels could have performed" Shax said (which also adds to the Lucifer theory to me tbh).

Crowley knows how evil heaven actually is. But he doesn't give Aziraphale this information. I think in fear of hurting his angel. But this lack of information is what also helped Zira make his decision to go back to heaven. Which also leads me into saying that for his overall character arc through s1 & s2, this ending makes a lot of sense for Zira. Especially because he doesnt have all the information that Crowley has. If Crowley had told him what he knows, I think it might've been a different outcome.

Beelzebub is like, "hey, if you can find my husband (which no one knows until that ending [I've been crying for years]), I'll give you anything you want; you can be a prince run Hell" and Crowley is like, "no thanks, I got my husband, his bookshop and my car and plants. I'm happy thanks." (Which is kinda a lie).

Also, the way everyone refers to Beez so easily as They. I am so delighted that a large piece of media makes they/them pronouns a normal thing and not something that's like, overly questioned/talked about. Its just... normal.

SAME WITH THE GAYS!

Also, the ability to put almost any character in GO on the aro/ace spec and it's probably canon (I personally believe Crowley and Aziraphale are romantic beings with/for each other, but they're both Ace.)

I absolutely am ecstatic that love is love and no one questions that Zira did a "miracle" to make two women fall in love; especially in a series based upon Christianity. I didnt grow up with a religion really, but I love it. I have family that say their Christian's and dont like me so much anymore as I'm gender nonconforming. (Whoops! Not sorry.)

Michael Sheen is king of subtly and micro-expressions and I have seen a post that is talking about it and I would love for it to be true: if you watch, just after Crowley pulls away from the kiss, something changes in Aziraphale's expression, just for a split second, and I would love for it to be them switching places (again) and for Crowley to be going to Heaven and raising a little hell. (Though I know its PROBABLY not true, this theory has so much on it.)

I love how good omens 2 shows us the destruction miscommunication can cause. I think this is why in this day and age, so many people are divorcing. And this show shows it beautifully. Crowley and Aziraphale both say things the other takes in the completely wrong way. But also. I'm gonna cry for years about this divorce (its sadder than when my parents split)

Ty Tennant really showed up to set, said "watch this", basically eyefucked Aziraphale/Michael Sheen, and showed his father how to be a proper gay. And I love it.

Not to mention that Ty Tennant's Grandfather played his father, Job, while his father plays a "gay" demon "trying" to kill him.

"Our car" and "our bookshop".

I love how Nina and Maggie represent Crowley and Aziraphale. But it's not the way you think: it's so misleading. Nina at first glance is Crowley and Maggie is Aziraphale. But that is not true. Its actually the other way around. And here is a post explaining it more.

I'm loving that s1 we see Crowley as a nanny. And s2 brings us Crowley the shoemaker AND a midwife. Its... hilarious??

I love how Good Omens inserts the book, Good Omens, into series 2. Like, break the fourth wall why dont you?

Crowley hasn't fallen from grace as much as he wants people to believe. He lies, yes, but he does so much good. Barely does any "evil" on his own (that's all humans).

"I go along with hell/heaven as far as I can" is such a strong way to describe these two characters actions. Zira does what he thinks is morally right and Crowley just... does his thing. I think Aziraphale didnt want to though (as we see in the minisode of ep2) but after some thousand years, he became okay with it really. Or pretended to himself long enough to believe it himself. Crowley though doesnt give a fuck and doesn't really care if he really followed along in "Hell's plans".

That kiss is so devastating and full of desperation and everything on the side of it. It's also loving. But in the completely wrong way because its Crowley's last-ditch attempt to get Aziraphale to stay—to be with him. To be an Us.

Crackship! Crackship! Crackship! CRACKSHIP!!!!!

ANGEL WITH A WHEELCHAIR!! ANGEL. WITH. A. WHEELCHAIR. ANGEL WITH A WHEELCHAIR. ANGEL WITH A WHEELCHAIR!!!!!!!!!!

#ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens s2e6 #good omens 2 #good omens #go2 spoilers #go2 #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale and crowley #aziracrow #azicrow #azirowley #aziraphale #crowly x aziraphale #crowley #beezlebub #gabriel/jim #gabriel #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable spouses #ineffable partners #nonbinary #gay pride #lesbian pride #nina x maggie #david tennant #michael sheen #mine

[the-official-account]

Episode 18 liveblog YIPEE!

Fewer opening notes on this one. I'm gonna attempt liveblogging AND drawing at the same time, let's see how that goes. I'm currently feeling very smug with my advertisement efforts and while I hope to get to spar and vellum today I realized I made Anya kinda thin and that feels...not right for her vibes. So I'm doing Anya again...that's my excuse JGLDKDHDIS she's so...she's like a purse sized friend

Anyways, beginning of this i was not in front of my art tablet so:

"we come as a pair" haha. Cute.

Cloven heart said OUR little brother figure [bugs bunny com meme]

Scientist with a radio tower.....max.....hm. interestinger an interestinger

Yeah josepha you might be the only person in town who wants cloven heart to be the "center" of anything. Why not sindershore? She already works....idk, there? Or in v.n

Vellum just pulls out the papers lmao. Like why not!

Max came up with the schematics... Did max disappear? Yeah. Hm. HM!

Josepha used to be a woodworker? Was I remembering that right or did my brain just make this up.

"We would talk to Thorne" 😬

MAX WHAT

THEIR NAME WAS MAX WHAT?

Did grey have like....a really shitty alias? How old was max??? Fifteen days ago.... Hmmm.

Vellum would know if his uncle was out of town for like 2 and a half months if there was overlap and it took like a day or half a day of a train ride to get back and forth. It's unlikely vellum wouldn't connect those dots

"I was on drugs when I named it I will be honest".josepha is SO good. She's lovely. She's so funny. Oh my god.

"This may not be to your taste of perhaps it is I do not know how you party vellum" NFOSBDKSHDO

"THINK I COULD ROCK THOSE"

"I ALSO DONT KNOW HOW YOU PARTY AGENT VELLUM"

Trying not to burst out laughing in public this is a struggggllleeee

"The belt has 3 slots for arcane cores" I would rather we not go looking for bombs.... But yk. Queer people have plenty of odd hobbies who am I to judge

Okay but like short distance teleportation for someone with a bad leg is a pretty banger deal

"Sometimes you wake up one day and you're retired" In THIS economy?

Also I'm mentioning this out of order bc this episode is being funny faster than I can type, but (I say this with all of the respect) was vellums "I'm sure I'll find other use for you" sultry or was that just Ila's voice? HFOSHSKSBSOS

Spar sounds so depressed. Give this sheep dog some enrichment!

Vellum being like 'Hey you're good we still need to find some more bombs!' he is in fact giving spar some enrichment

"Waiting for this boat and seemingly intent on returninf to clovenheart"

I just squinted with SO much suspicion that that would be diamond

"Is Brunhilde!!!" Dksgsud ok

"Do you say hi to your mom as you're pretending to arrest the chick you dated who you invited into her home on grounds of a repeat assault?" My god

Spar is ~5'8 tati is 5'3 very good to know

~ many hours later, now doing art stuff~

Vellum could fall on this face and STILL look cool

Anya spar and vellum having a snack has gotta go on my to-draw list (my mind is so fast and my hands are so not fast! Ahh!)

OH NEW MIDTRO isk if this was here last episode. OH SHITFUN FACTS? i love blorbo facts

he has written a SYMPHONY? The essentricism is genetic i think.... a smphony baout YEARNING FOR BELONGING? you are handing me a fic idea. NOTE: symphony driven by loss and isolation over being trans, having lost his parents, wanting to find a place where he's accepted

Smooth velvet is his stripper name this episode is just raining fic ideas, huh? (i am joking but also I am not joking. BUt im joking but im not joking....I am deciding if im joking)

DONT BE MEAN TO ISHBALA (spell chat tdb) SPAR!!!!!!

DONT BE MEAN TO GREGGINS EITHER!!! LJKSAFHGLKAHFGLAKSG

greggins binder generator.

[not episode related but im battling between having sincere thoughts about Anya's fashion sense and going "ooooh belly"]

I FEEL LIKE THIS IS PROBLEMATIC AND YOU'RE GONNA GET CANCELLED AND HERE'S WHY

ALSDHGLKASDHGASKGFASGD MY SWORDS A GHOST NOW OHHHH MY GOD I LOVE THEM

SEKITAN WAS A VICTIM....WOAH.......WOOOOAH.

ALTERATION RESISTANT BLOOD? HOOOOLY SHIT. WOAH. WOAH. WAOH MAN. WOW. FUUUUCK. i dont evne......

anya said hey your uhhhh. Your uhh special friend is little stressed. go makeout of whatever. THEY'RE WALKING ARM IN ARM LMAOOOO

ishbala just chose violence SO unprompted

[anya is drawn now for spar and vellum iterations i am...........Well to be fair i am Never very confident going in and it walways turns out okay!!!]

"*he puts a gun in vellums hands* its goot to know you're with someone who can protect you." s;aldfalsfdjaw awhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! SPAR DOESN'T GET PROTECTED SPAR IS ALWAYS THE ONE JUMPING IN FRONT OF THE BULLET DO YOU KJNOW HOW MUCH THIS MEEEEEEEANS TO ME?????

"when you got a good one you keep em" thats it thats spar

spar is correcting vellums stance and vellum must be SCREAMING inside lmao. Vellum focuses SO HARD on everything BUT spar directly behind him and accidentally becomes an expert

ARE THEY ALSO IMPRESSED BY THE SEXUAL TENSION

vellum, full on titanicking it with spar is trying VERY hard to respect boundaries and that is my FAVORITE kind of tension. "I am not making moves because i respect you as a person" is never not entertaining

STOP JUMPSCARING ME WITH THIS FUCKING KISSES I GASPED TOO HARD AND CHOKED ON MY SPIT HOLY FUCK. HOOOLY FUCK.

ughhhhh drawing kisses is such a pain but FUCK do i wanna.

oooh this new outro is so fancy!!!! i love the format changes that are happening here!

im torn between doing another episode tonight and saving it for tomorrow so I can focus fully on drawing.......ill feel out the vibes after i get spar's jaw right. LOVELY episode. spar is making moooooooves!!!!

@threeheartscast i almost forgot!

#edil chats #edil liveblogs three of hearts #three of hearts pod

[letters-from-your-fo]

To: Y/n

From: Amber

《↬.•.•✿•.•.↫》

Dear Y/n,

Welcome, my dear, to my blog! This is a writing blog themed around either fictional characters or my ocs writing to you or your oc! This is mostly focused on love letters from your f/o but I will take other requests not centered around romance! Do note that I center around romance due to the fact that my specialty is writing romance.

Here is my Masterlist!

Here is my Oc List!

I go by Amber and Jonas and I’d really appreciate it if you used both names for me! I identify as genderfluid and a trans man; male, female, and nonbinary; and my pronouns are He/They/She. I’d really appreciate it if you mix up my pronouns/gendered terms when referring to me (ex: “Where are they, I saw them a while ago? Actually, I think he might be in his room. She’s always on her computer writing something.” or “He’s in here, but they’re too busy on her computer writing something.”) but if you must refer to me with one set of pronouns, I prefer they/them or he/him rather than just she/her.

My main blog is @selfshipping-shapeshifter and you should go follow it if you're interested! I chat with mutuals there and post about my f/os and ocs! 

I also have a few writing blogs: 

@self-shipping-selfcare where I write x Reader oneshots and headcanons (my main writing blog)

@gt-cafe where I write exclusively Giant/tiny oneshots (both original works and fanfics)

@your-yandere-darling where I write exclusively yandere oneshots and headcanons (with fictional characters, my ocs, and/or just a yandere character type)

@fnaf-edits where my friend and I post exclusively Fnaf (he does edits, matchups, and kin assignments and I write oneshots and headcanons)

✎.⋆I Will Write⋆.➳

Romantic letters

Platonic letters

Letters filled with fluff

Letters filled with angst

Letters from multiple characters

Letters from yandere characters

Letters to the reader

Letters to/from my ocs

And letters to your ocs

✎.⋆I Won’t Write⋆.➳

Character x Character (sometimes, ignoring polyamory)

YouTubers/Celebrities

✎.⋆Fandoms I Write For⋆.➳

A Monster in Paris

At Dead of Night

Beastars

Bendy and the Ink Machine/Bendy and the Dark Revival

Call of Duty Zombies (Primis and Ultimis Richtofen only please)

Cuphead

Danganronpa

Detroit: Become Human

Doki Doki Literature Club

Five Nights at Freddy's

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

Homegrown Pet

John Doe Game

Portal 2

Puss in Boots The Last Wish

Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs

Scrutinized

Skyrim

Spooky Month

Super Mario Bros Movie (Bowser only please)

Team Fortress 2

The Bad Guys

The Great Mouse Detective

Trapped With Jester

Undertale/Deltarune

Villainous

Yandere Simulator

Your Boyfriend

And maybe more I can't remember at the moment (please don’t hesitate to ask me if there’s a certain fandom I’ll write for, because I believe I write for more than this but I can’t remember all my fandoms)

✎.⋆Other Rules You Should Know⋆.➳

If you’re requesting something from Call of Duty Zombies, I’m still learning the lore and everything and I only write Richtofen as of now

For Danganronpa, I’ll write for the games only. I haven’t seen the anime yet, reason why I can’t write for it. I’ll also write for any character except Celeste and anyone from the anime and Ultra Despair Girls. My favorite characters to write for are Teruteru and Hifumi

For the Super Mario Bros Movie, I’ll only write for Bowser for right now

For Villainous, I haven’t seen the show yet but I have seen the shorts so I won’t write for anyone from the show only yet

I have the right to reject a request for whatever reason (I think I can’t write it, it’s not a fandom I’m in, I’ve already written something too similar to it, I’m uncomfortable with it, etc) and I might either answer your ask politely rejecting your request or I just delete the ask

If I'm obsessed with a certain fandom I'll be more focused on writing for it but I don’t mind if you request something from a different fandom (though I prefer if you request something from the fandom(s) that I’m currently obsessed with)

I’m a lazy procrastinator who fears I won’t be good at interpreting the characters well. It might take a while for me to finish your request because I either procrastinated, didn’t know how to write the character you requested, or both. Another reason why I wouldn't finish a request quickly is because I had a lack of motivation and/or inspiration which has been happening a lot recently, so if your request takes longer from that then I sincerely apologize

Please be specific when requesting something, if you aren't specific I'll assume you're fine with something random. And for polyamorous relationships, please specify the relationship (ex: Is Character A and Character B dating each other and the reader or are they simply friends who are both dating the reader?)

Crossovers are welcome here, the only rule is it has to be in my list of fandoms. You can still ask me if I know a certain TV Show/movie/video game/book/anime. If you request anything anime, chances are I don’t know it since I haven’t seen a lot of anime. I want to watch more, though (at some point)

Please be respectful and I hope you enjoy your time here!

Sincerely, Jonas~♡

《↬.•.•✿•.•.↫》

#amber's pinned posts #amber's important posts #f/o community #self shipping community #x gender neutral reader #x male reader