#i was scrolling through pintrest as one does | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

readathousandlives · 2 years

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Your page is so fucking cool. TEACH ME.

Terminal 03 v0.98

Press [ESC] to exit

Type "HELP" to get help using the terminal

Type "COMMANDS" to list all commands

\\Root\LOG TUTORIAL

Loading log, tutorial, progress : 100%

Thank you so much! I spent so long trying to make a mobile theme that I liked (ಥ﹏ಥ)

I took heavy inspo from the game GTFO, more specifically, the terminals that you can use while trying to sneak by creepy creatures that will fuck you the hell up if you wake them...

I don't know if you were actually looking for a tutorial or not, but I'm giving one to you anyways lol...

There will be many sections to this post, with some links sprinkled in, and it's a bit long, so it'll be under the cut...

-#: TEXT

While simple, this is easily the place where you can make or break your theme. While tumblr does supply alternative fonts (i use chat for my theme), others are not as nice (lucille im looking at you bitch)...

I have two different places I go to for my fonts. I have a custom keyboard on my phone (it has a subscription option for more fonts that I refuse to pay for), and a website that I copy and paste from. The website has more options, and it's completely free, so I mostly use that...

𝖙𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 — 𝕥𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 — 𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 — 𝓉𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 — 𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜

Keep in mind that using an abundance of fancy text could make it hard for people to read whatever's written in that font. That, and i find using only the copy pasted text to be quite ugly. I've seen someone use the second testing font entirely for their pinned post, and it is not a good look...

The same can be said for making all of your text small, though I personally haven't had issue with small text unless I'm reading fanfiction in the dark...

Text colour is also a nice addition to pull together a theme. While there are some bright colours that you can use from what's provided, it's not much...

This text post goes through the steps of adding custom gradients or colours to text, if that's something you're interested in...

Also, please, for the love of god, put a fucking read more on any text post that's longer than one(!!!) mobile screen in length. The amount of fics that are good that I refuse to reblog because you have to spend 5 minutes just to scroll past it is infuriating and saddening, we don't need a text version of "do you love the colour of the sky?" Okay? Okay...

-#: DECALS?

It's the little things that tie everything together, so I suggest looking here or here or here for some ideas...

To make things easier for you, I would suggest copy pasting anything you like into a google doc, so that you have everything in one place for future use...

-#: DIVIDERS

There are many different ways you can spice up a text post, and dividers are one of them! animated or still work just as good, you just have to find what works with your aesthetic...

There are many places you can find dividers gifs or static, let me know if you would like me to compile a set for you from what I have saved...

-#: PICTURES

Pinterest is my go to for aesthetic pictures. There's a huge variety, and making a pintrest board for your theme will help to curate more options if you wanna change something up...

You can mix multiple pictures together, up to three side by side...

Or you can make it look like there's only one picture by putting white/black/ transparent photos on either side, depending on your theme...

Keep in mind that a post is limited to 10 pictures, so you might have to break out a photo editor if you planned on using a lot of media...

-#: OTHERS

A good place to start for making your theme is to look at the anime fanfic community here on tumblr. The way these people make pinned posts look like works of art...

Some of my favourites:...

#. @bykii #. @eijirhoe

#. @aitarose #. @21-06-1996

#. @tteokdoroki #. @kurosukii

!NOTE! Many of these blogs are 18+ please follow their dni before interacting with any of their content...

Some shameless self promo:...

#. @lxvlxck #. @pythonees

In the end, all that matters is what you like. I tried to keep things vague enough, though I don't know how well I did as this is my first tutorial...

Hope this was helpful! Enjoy making your aesthetic pinned post, or a cute template for your fan-fiction!...

#tutorial #writing #fanfiction #post help #writing help #tumblr tutorial #pinned post #pinned post tutorial

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disaster-daydreams · 3 years

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𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 (𝑻𝒔𝒖𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒂, 𝑨𝒔𝒂𝒉𝒊, 𝑲𝒆𝒏𝒎𝒂)

+ Tsukishima ->

You were scrolling through pintrest, looking for gift ideas because your boyfriend Tsuki had given you multiple gifts for your birthday- it felt right to repay him, even if a little bit. You found a picture of a checklist, one of the items read "Make a playlist of songs that remind you of them !" And that is what you did. After a few hours of finding the perfect songs, you make the playlist on Spotify and print out the code, putting it down on a small piece of paper with small doodles as well.

Now, Tsukishima is currently taking a shower because he just got back from practice, so you set up everything and get ready to hand him the paper. It's a little more nerve wracking than it should be, because Tsuki is notoriously picky with his music. You hear the water stop, and your heart skips a beat.

I'm so overthinking this, it'll be fine!

You try to calm down a bit, and it works slightly. After a few minutes, Tsukishima comes out with a towel still in hand, drying off his hair. Your eyes immediately close and your hands stick out towards him with the paper in hand.

Why am I acting like I'm confessing through letter for the first time? You wager that Tsuki just has the effect on you. You hear him laugh a little, and the paper if gone from your grasp. Your eyes open to gauge his reaction.

"A playlist? I didn't expect this from you, what gives?"

"I... you were to good to me for my birthday, so I wanted to give you something in return." Your eyes were trained on the floor, embarrassed, so you missed his soft smile turned grin. You hear his phone camera snap a picture of the note, and he has the playlist in his favorites as of now. He pushes you towards the beds and lays down on top of you as the songs play in the background.

"Thank you."

+ Asahi ->

It seemed fitting, you had a lot of songs you wanted to show to Asahi, but not all in one place. So, a playlist is to be made! You're both cuddling when you sent him the link to the playlist, his notification goes off and he unlocks his phone.

+ Kenma ->

You turn to see his reaction, and his face is red. This boy, he's blushing so hard. He hides his face, and you click play on the playlist. As your power couple song plays, he only gets more embarrassed. He hugs you and does not let go, only giving you light kisses everywhere, as his way of saying thanks.

You got bored of hearing a few songs repeat while Kenma had them as background music, so you create a playlist for him of songs you both enjoy. Not wasting any time, once you complete it, you show him it and send him the link.

"Wow, y/n, some of these songs are amazing." He hides his face quickly, not wanting you to see his face turn red.

You know he downplayed his reaction, but hr makes up for it during his next gaming session, when you hear the playlist start.

------

[Written by Angel]

#daydreams original #tsukishima kei #asahi haikyuu #kenma kozume #haikyuu #haikyu #tsukishima #asahi #kenma #tsukishima x reader #asahi x reader #kenma x reader #hq #anime #imagines #writing #mod angel

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circethegoblin · 3 years

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STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

#life hacks #life #not dying #staying alive #no one will see this #who cares though

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misnamed-love · 3 years

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Images that reminded me of some Haikyuu characters!

(kinda because I was scrolling through Pintrest for too long and kept connecting images to characters)

Bokuto

Bokuto would probably put stickers all over his face and hands along with clipping random hair clips in his hair.

Oikawa

Oikawa would totally do this to one of his stuffies complaining "Not baby! If 'm gots ta wear one he does too!"

Semi

I genuinely have no clue with these two, he's the character that came to mind when I saw these

Once again, really no clue other than vibes and I feel like her (along with another upcoming character) would refuse to drink from baby bottles and sippys.

Shirabu

He just likes to scare other littles with the spider plush, it's gotten to the point where if he wants to go to a playdate he has to leave the spider plush behind.

#Reached image limit sadly— there will be a part two #I just need to get more images for that one #haikyuu age regression #haikyuu agere #spiwrites #spiheadcannons

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some-weird-kpop-girl · 4 years

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Kpop Update

I need to stop... or maybe not

Jessi

Favorite Song: Down. It has such a beachy feel and I love songs with beachy feels. Might lowkey make a choreography for it at some point.

Notes: Ok, so, I can’t even really remember how this happened. It’s like Jessi just popped into my life and I was like... Idk who this is but she is a Q.U.E.E.N. She’s just great.

A literal goddess

KARD

Bias: Somin

Bias Wrecker: Jiwoo

Favorite Song: hahahah lol... I really like Bomb Bomb tho. Made a choreo to it. Might post a link later if I feel confident enough.

Notes: Idek how my bias and bias wreckers are girls... they’re just so awesome. And hilarious! Somin just repeating everything BM says even though she doesn’t understand it is the funniest thing ever. Actually, this whole group is handsdown one of the funniest groups I stan. And even though BM isn’t my bias or bias wrecker, there is a large part of my heart dedicated just for him. Like, he’s so open minded and funny and I think everyone in the Kpop community loves him, even if you don’t stan KARD (don’t @ me. Just spittin facts)

How is one so beautiful? I aspire to be as beautiful as Somin.

The Boyz

Bias: Sunwoo

Bias Wrecker: Kevin

Favortie Song: Tattoo. Usually it’s impossible for me to pick a favorite song in a groups with so many great songs, but I literally love this song with all of my heart and soul.

Notes: So, me getting into The Boyz is probably the funniest scenario. I was just casually scrolling through Pintrest and Sunwoo appeared and I was like, “...I don’t know who that is, but I’m gonna stan his group now because he is so breathtakingly beautiful.” lol. Also, you ever see those idols that you’re like “I don’t even want to date them, I just want to be their friend”? Yeah, that’s how I see Kevin and Jacob.

The exact picture that led me to stan The Boyz

Golden Child

Bias: Jangjun

Bias Wrecker(s): Joochan and Bomin

Favorite Song: Ok so at first I thought it was One, but then it was Wannabe, but then I listened to Without You like a bunch of times in a row, and then I actually kind of fell in love with DamDaDi and you see where this is going so I’m gonna stop now

Notes: At first, I was kinda upset when Pump It Up came out, because I really like GolCha’s darker concepts. However, after seeing them perform it, I think that they really like brighter concepts, and watching them perform it made me like it even more. Long story short, I support all GolCha Concepts and you should too.

So handsome!

Mamamoo

Bias: Hwasa

Bias Wrecker: Literally all of them, thanks.

Favorite Song: Ok, so like, um... I can’t.... Aya is a whole bop tho, jus saying

Notes: So, I’ve kinda wanted to get into Mamamoo for a while now, I just always hesitate to get into girl groups because I just don’t watch as much of their content and it makes me feel lowkey disloyal... anyways, I’m glad I did and I just want to say that these girls are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. ok?! Like, they break stereotypes and stand up for themselves and I love them for it. Hwasa is like millimeters from overcoming Hyuna to become my favorite female idol because even though I love Hyuna with my entire soul, Hwasa is closer to my body type and she just flat up told everyone that she loves herself the way she is and that if they don’t like it they can just... f off (like Corona lol). It’s so inspiring and I’m going to stop now before this turns into a five page essay.

I aspire to be like Hwasa.

P1Harmony

Bias: Theo

Bias Wrecker: Intak

Favorite Song: Once again, hahaha lol. They’re all just sooooooo good. Total bops and I scream all the lyrics while I drive down the interstate.

Notes: So, occasionally YouTube will just suggest videos for a random group for me to watch. The teasers for Siren came up and I was like, “I’ll check it out.” One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I love them so much. Like, I can even find the words to describe how much I love them. Already one of my ult groups. P1Harmony ROTY

I have the fattest crush on him

AB6IX

Bias: Daehwi

Bias Wrecker: Woong

Favorite Song: All of them. Literally. All. Of. Them.

Notes: First of all, I didn’t realize it until I started checking them out more, but AB6IX was a group that I’d wanted to check out since they debuted, and somehow I literally forgot to stan them (lol adhd culture, am I right?). Big mistake. But I’m glad I found them again. Second, Daehwi really doesn’t know how to write a bad song, does he? Third, I got into AB6IX like a couple of weeks after Youngmin left (don’t really have an opinion on it. Not gonna talk about it), and I just knew that with one rapper leaving, one of the other ones was gonna turn out to be a great rapper. I thought it was going to be Woong. I was wrong, but not dissapointed at all. Stan Rapper Daehwi (the boy can literally do anything).

I just think he’s great

Treasure

Bias: Doyoung

Bias Wrecker(s): Mashiho, Haruto, Yoshi, Junkyu, Hyun... ok yeah no actually just the whole group.

Favorite Song: Boy. I’m especially in love with Yedam’s line in the pre-chorus. Like it’s just so good. But the whole song is amazing. On that note, I have to add that Hyunsuk’s rap in MMM is what I’ve lived for for the last few days.

Notes: I cannot even begin to explain how happy it makes me that a whole third of their members are Japanese, and that two thirds of the rap line are foreigners. And like, they’re not even like ~average~ rappers. They’re really, really good. (Also, can we address the fact that Asahi, Haruto, and Yoshi all helped write Orange?! Like, bilingual legends). And like, the cover they did of Whistle was like out of this world?! Like I literally listen to it multiple times a day... might highkey make it my ringtone. Ok can you tell I love these boys? Yeah? Good.

Our cute Dobby!

Also, I had to include this:

Me (a fool): I’m not going to stan Treasure because I don’t want to jump on the Treasure bandwagon

#treasure #ab6ix #mamamoo #jessi #p1harmony #golden child #the boyz #kard #kpop

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theyearsiturnedintoaghost · 3 years

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Hello, Is This Thing On?

Hi! (as mentioned above). Do people still use this thing? I have no idea. Years ago, and I do mean YEARS ago, I had one of these. I didn’t use it for much, just reposting things, following humans I’d met in online communities, a ‘celebrity’ here or there, sometimes screaming about shit I couldn’t control into the void that is the endless scrolling interweb, and being pointless in wasting my time between classes, work, and twenty-something. Regardless, my previous tumblr had minimal followers, made minimal impact, and that was okay. It was honestly just a nice place to sort of hide in plain sight. Still be part of a social world without actually having to do much. This was also pre a billion other apps and social media outlets to express yourself or scroll mindlessly at a million other pointless things that people were posting to make you giggle or even just stop for a second and think.

Clearly, the point of this, back then, felt like something I would use to help propel my writing career. Turns out, it did not. I did not write much, if at all. And most of the time I think it was because I was scared nothing was as good as any of the other stuff I was reading from people I liked, and thought were so much cooler and smarter than me; I still feel this way all of the time, but I do realize this was me being nervous, small minded about myself, and completely unconfident.

Unfortunately, I am still most of these things a lot of the time, but recently, after getting fired from a job, having my heart broken by pretty much everyone on the planet, especially a few specific people, cancelled by all of my friends (?) - this is a thing btw. (It’s not as awful as being cancelled publicly, but it does still ruin your life, mindset, confidence, and overall physical and mental wellbeing) Getting a new job, hating it and feeling like I was going no where, and missing out on living a life I felt proud of and that I was actively participating in, I decided maybe I should just try to write it all out and see what happens.

To be frank, I expect nothing of this. I can’t fathom a world where anything I have to say truly matters to people because lets be real - everyone has this own shit and everyone is going through so much all of the time. And we all think we have something new, quirky, interesting, and important to say. And in a world that constantly shoves perfection down our throats and works so hard to make each of us feel completely inadequate to every Kardashian, Beyonce, Grande, etc., it’s hard to really think that anything I have to say will matter to anyone; at all.

(I also hate that all of my ‘perfectionist’ people were female, but maybe it’s harder to compare to Golden Boys when you are a female. Either way, there are many boys/men/theys/thems that are put on a pedestal and made out to be perfect out there, as well, and they deserve that notation as well. I just have no points of reference off the top of my head, so please forgive me; I am trying to do this in a stream of consciousness type thing.)

I mean, the truth is, I’m a fucking mess. I’m 33, single, living at home, afraid of my own shadow most of the time, and spend about 98% of my time alone. I pay for a phone plan that I literally only use to send memes to my two sisters, and that’s about it. I rarely receive texts, invites out, or even calls to make plans for something. And while a lot of this is my own doing - again, I did cut off most of the world after I realized I was sort of the joke to a lot of people - it’s still kind of pathetic, and entirely uncool. I am not a socialite, or someone cool and trendy, and to be honest, I kind of never want to be.

Which is a semi-false statement, because years ago, when I had one of these previously, I sort of hoped it would work out and that I could write and be ‘cool.’ Whatever the fuck that means. But now, years later, I’m honestly beyond glad I am not cool; not in the slightest. Maybe that’s making it to your 30s? Maybe the trade for having to create a daily routine of lathering up my body with like 9 different versions of FDA-Approved-Vampire-Juice on my skin to prevent me from looking any older than I already do, you in turn get to have a brain that finally realizes... having a ‘normal’ life is honestly pretty cool? Normal is clearly subjective here as everyone is normal, famous, notoriety, or not; They’re all still humans and people with feelings, thoughts, and emotions. This is a hard thing to realize when you see stadiums full of people screaming at Harry Styles (Boom! found a male perfect in this scatterbrain) or hundreds of paparazzi lined up to take photos of every person on a red carpet wearing clothing that costs as much as my student loan debt (Which sidenote, is VERYYYYYY much). It’s hard to fully realize that maybe some of those people who became ‘icons’ never really knew what they were getting into when they signed that deal with the Devil to make them seemingly immortal; especially in a world with the internet where everything can exist forever (or until the world explodes, clearly). But maybe getting into my 30s and removing myself from most social media outlets, even listening to the news, or caring about whatever fucking popular haircut was in this season (it’s always bangs, and I’ve already made that mistake. No thanks), that I learned to realize - the truly most important people in your life are the ones that stick with you when it’s tough. When getting out of bed is so hard your limbs ache and you cry every morning on your way to work, at your desk behind your computer screen hidden in a corner, or in a bathroom stall during your lunch break. The normalcy that comes with realizing your prayers to ‘just make it to five o’clock,’ are heard and that you are just so thankful for that that you don’t even desire the innate feeling in most of our egos to stand out, be seen, ‘Make it’ in a way that lets people notice we ‘succeeded.’ Maybe this only comes with the realization of how nice it is to go to a grocery store braless and unnoticed.

Maybe this is also something I, and so many of us in this point and shoot viral world, are trying to still learn.

Sure, a lot of days I still crave being able to make a perfect Pintrest project, practice my Late Night interview with Letterman where I sound funny, charming, and likeable to all walks of life, or recreate a recipe from the New York Times website so great that The Barefoot Contessa finds out through word of mouth, and comes to my basement hide out, and offers to give me, a fellow barefoot loving bitch, her title and crown along with a glass of wine and a kiss from her husband, Jeffery. We’ll both laugh at how lovely it feels to be Barefoot ladies who understand that wanting ‘fame’ or ‘recognition’ in your twenties is only really a pathway to destruction by your 30s.

And this is not exactly something that I learned easy. In fact, I spent most of my twenties destroying my body with drugs - plenty of hard ones - and alcohol - various kinds of the same things - in order to numb my brain from the sadness that is just... being young, lonely, scared, unsure of yourself, and nervous that all of your hopes and expectations for yourself in your ‘dream life’ are too much for what you and your actual self will ever be capable of ever becoming. That I would never become the comedian I dreamed of being, or sing the perfect song in front of a crowd of admirers, or write that best selling book to tell everyone who thought I was nothing they could go fuck themselves. It’s something I still have to remind myself, and my brain and ego, that are most likely things I will never do because those are lottery dreams. And people you know don’t actually win the lottery. And at the end of the day, I am people you know. And sometimes it breaks my own heart to realize I may never feel that rush of making a crowd laugh, or creating a piece of art that makes someone feel seen, but as Pam, from The Office said, and I am paraphrasing, ‘there is beauty in ordinary things.’ And I think reminding myself of that as I sat on the beach this summer and watched a dad teach his son to surf, and how happy they both were when he got up, gave me that brief feeling of... being okay. I won’t lie, I did cry a little at this realization at that moment, and I am slightly teary now as I write it, but I think I’m not ashamed of that because being normal means I get to feel things as I do, in that moment, and that is something I think I lacked in my desiring-bigger-flashier- twenties; actually being present in the world and your place in it. Even if that is just as small as being kind to a random person on the street.

I think that is why everything I felt I wanted to write never came out correct. It never came out ‘Perfect.’ And that was my problem for most of my life, even up until today, I’m afraid that I am a perfectionist in the ways that are preventing me from becoming... me. I’m still fearful that I am too late in ever ‘accomplishing’ anything I ever dreamed. I doubt I will ever actually write a book. I’m unsure I’ll ever make a decent living. I am beyond doubtful I am ever going to be loveable to someone whom I also want to love back. And maybe I’m a little scared that I’ll never have a kid, or that if I do have a kid, I’ll never be a decent parent. And I’m still working on breaking the cycle of thinking something has to ‘sound’ or ‘be seen as important’ to be meaningful. There is beauty in the ordinary. I’ve started to make it my mantra. Spoken in my head every time I see a teenage couple holding hands walking in town, a father holding their baby close to his chest, a woman dressed in a power suit striding through an office building or city on their way to make their own careers or push equality further. I’ve started to dream of how actual normalcy makes the real changes. How every 4th grade teacher has a chance to change some kids life.

Clearly, a lot of these personal fears I have about myself not being ‘enough,’ or doing something good enough to become successful at it and build a life out of it, are monotonous fears and privileged middle-class complaints. I’m aware they may not resonate with anyone, anything, or mean much more than just being an online public diary entry to my own meandering thoughts, but, still - I finally felt like I had to try.

So here it is, the whole truth on how I let myself become a ghost for years.

I hope someone will stick around while I just... try to explain it all, figure it all out, and hopefully make sense out of even being whatever a human who is hoping to grow even means. Hopefully, something here will resonate with someone else and we can create our own little weirdo corner of the world where we’re not seeking more than just trying to be honest with ourselves and what it means to be human. Even if that means just posting a recipe for banana bread (thank you Gwen Steffani for keeping me able to spell Banana), reposting random memes about how we all want to scream for 30 seconds and feel better, or sad-girl diary entry posts about how I ruined my own life a million times over. Oh, and maybe I’ll give you tips on how to stain your wood deck, because I spent my day doing that yesterday and basically, Home Depot is calling me to be in their ADs.

But at the core of it all, lets be very real, it’s hard to be human in so many ways. And I’m just hoping this connects with anyone. Especially any of us who wished we were different - in any way.

xoxo

-K

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ageofevermore · 4 years

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an update on how my oc's are getting along during this pandemic :)

Harry and Goldie: this man is absolutely loving the time he gets to spend with you and your little love! sure, now he's going out and about between the states and your flat back in london, but he absolutely adored the few uninterrupted months he got to spend with the both of you. goldie is just over two and a half years old when quarantine begins, so you and harry decide it's a good time to start potty training. she hates it at first, mostly because the sound of the toilet flushing is intimidating, but soon she learns that harry will sing over the loud sound. you almost rolled your eyes allowed the first time you watched your husband sing beside the toilet, clapping his hands and blowing into a blue harmonica between words.

the three of you also become a family of four, well five if were counting the goldfish named finn. you get pregnant just after march, and your finding out in a few days the gender...it's a little girl. even before you know though, harry has deemed your little one bowie. the baby inside of you loves grilled cheese and tomatoes, which you were never fond of, and is guaranteed to start moving around when music is played. the first time harry realized this, his head was in your lap and david bowie was playing on vinyl.

"did ya feel that, lovie?" he looked up with wide eyes and a glowing grin, "bunny likes himself some bowie."

"who said it's a boy harry?" you bit back, a smile on your lips.

"we already got a girl, it's only fair, love." he mumbled back before pressing his lips to the skin of your bare belly, not just popping but definitely not as tight as it was, "hi, bowie. ya gonna be my music partner? i think yeh big sister might have a fit."

but quarantine also came with struggles. goldie didn't understand why she couldn't bounce back and forth between your flat and anne's house, and she definitely didn't understand why you were no longer going to the pack every afternoon with a packed lunch and a plan to stop at the ice cream shop and collect a blue popsicle. she had thrown a fit at harry's feet for six days before moving along to the next obsession -- which happened to be styling harry's growing hair into a messy ponytail, or unicorn horn as she deemed through giggles.

Ellie McCall: ellie and liam are doing great! they've taken this time to just sit back and actually enjoy each others company. ellie's fresh out of college and beside stiles at the FBI, working as a medically trained field agent. her brothers best friend was less then happy when he realized that the younger girl was moving up in the program quicker then he could. ellie and liam are ready to start a family, though they don't look to be having any luck. when they do get pregnant though, ellie immediately worries that she's going to have to push a werewolf sized baby out of her. it takes seven calls to deaton and three voice mails to derek to assure her that the baby will be normal sized, and lacking in supernatural abilities until he's at least a toddler. oh yeah, it's a baby boy that is immediately named called brett dunbar.

though ellie and liam are enjoying the time home, it does bring ellie into a darker headspace. she dwells over allison and what her best friend might have been doing, and she can't help but think about boyd and erica. even matt crosses her mind a few times before she wiggles into bed besides liam and falls asleep with his heartbeat in her ear. liam isn't oblivious to her suffering, but it's apparent he doesn't know how to help. he sits were her sometimes when she's just staring out of the living room window, and makes her a cup of tea, because recently she's grown to hate the taste of coffee. he just lets her know that he's with her, and even though they're along in DC, she isn't actually alone.

Dylan O'Brien, Chloe O'Brien, and Maisie O'Brien: the trio is so good! dylan is so glad to finally be home with his girls for longer then a couple of broken up weeks. he can't remember the last time he was truly free to just be a dad and a husband. yes, chloe and dylan got married. it was a few weeks before the new year that they celebrated two months married. dylan's glad they waited so long, because the image of his daughter walking down the isle never fails to bring tears to his eyes. mae's just over four and a half, so she was in pre-school when everything started shutting down. she cried for weeks about missing her friends, clinging to dylan's torso for hours until she could be persuaded into walking on her own.

mae was a busybody, which meant keeping her home all day every day was hard. dylan was a personal jungle gym at this point, having bruises and cuts littering his arms and legs from how frequently he was used as a latter or slide. he wouldn't have it any other way though, loving that himself alone could entertain maisie for hours. what was hard about being home was finding alone time. the little one chloe and dylan shared loved to sneak into bed with them at two am, meaning that any passionate love making was rushed and done half dressed. it really wasn't passionate, but it quenched the thirst that would build after days of thick sexual tension.

every morning dylan would wake up after chloe and mae, coming down to plates of fresh fruit and pancakes. chloe didn't mind the big breakfast, giving her something to do other then stare at the wall or sing along to frozen for the umpteenth time that week. she had tried to get mae into something else after watching it seven times in a day, but the littler girl had crawled into her fathers laps with pleading eyes and a frown, sweetly asking if he could turn on anna and elsa when you were in the bathroom. it was no surprise that he cracked under the pressure, wanting nothing more then to be mae's best friend even when he knew a movie couldn't hurt her.

chloe's favorite thing about it all though had to be waking up in the middle of the night to cold sheets. she would leave the bedroom confused, having remembered falling alseep in dylan's arms, but in no time she would find her husband and daughter either in the kitchen eating ice cream, or cuddled up together in a toddler sized bed happily asleep. she would selfishly take a few more months of this isolation if it meant making more magical memories.

Emma James and Dylan Sprayberry: emma and dylan are great! they've started wedding planning, and have been using this time to finally finish moving into their house! emma was sad to let go of her first home with everly, but she comes to love their newly purchased home in SoCal even more. emma and ellery have been besties this entire time! it's not often that the two of them are apart, finding it a comfort to have some sort of daily routine that helps them stay mentally okay. emma is more then glad to have dylan by her side at home, but she needs more then her fiancé to keep a level head.

emma doesn't have any upcoming projects, instead taking the time to work on herself and her mom life. everly james is everything to her! the little beauty who looks just like her mother is just under two years old when this pandemic really cracks down on california, and it takes a toll on emma when they're forced to spend her second birthday with just dylan's sister and mother.

emma tries her hardest to keep in contact with holland and crystal, often having facetime calls scheduled. she misses seeing her friends faces every day, but knows that their reunion will be so much sweater once everything is safe and reopened.

Scotland Reilly and Dylan O'Brien: i haven't introduced scotland to this blog yet, but she's my little bean, and the irl oc for leila martin! anyways, scotland and dylan have been so good and really enjoyed being home together for longer then a few weeks or broken apart months! they're coming up on their seventh dating anniversary, and beginning to talk about what the next step might look like. they're been living together since season two of teen wolf, which was a year before they started dating, but neither one is completely sold on whether they want to go through with marriage. they have no doubt that the rest of their lives will be spent happily together and as one, but the idea of getting married never really stuck out to them!

scotland has an eating disorder that goes hand in hand with OCD that manifested after a childhood of travel between modeling jobs and bicoastal co-parenting. she's been strictly a vegan for almost nine years as a way to ensure that she's always healthy and so she doesn't feel to guilt about the foods she's eating, but recently she's started to introduce chicken (which dylan is absolutely thrilled about) fish, and a few dairy products. being home has given her the chance to actually feel comfortable with how far she's willing to push past her comfort zones and find new things out about herself. she's also overly plagued by baby fever!

she had her head on dylan's chest one afternoon, scrolling through moodboard on her pintrest account when the cutest pastel themed nursery caught her attention. they're in no way ready for a baby, but scotland can just imagine a tiny baby the two of them sharing her eyes and strawberry hair but every other quality being strictly dylan's. they both think a baby is the perfect next step, but in a few years time when hopefully the pandemic has calmed down and it's not so high risk.

the conversation goes like that:

"baby." scotland coos, looking up at dylan whose entire focus is on the old baseball game. he hummed in her general direction, his fingers brushing through her hair absentmindedly. "can we have a baby?"

he has to pause the game after that question, his whiskey eyes wide and caught off guard. scotland giggles at his reaction, pressing a kiss to the dip between his collarbone, "not right now, silly! but one day, can we?"

they'd never really talked about kids. dylan knew she wanted a few, having grown up with a large family, but they were both at the high of their career and never had time to imagine little hands and feet.

"one day." he promises gently, "i'd like that."

#none of this is proof read or edited #but i can't help but think about what they're all doing #if i missed anybody let me know!#goldie styles #dad!harry #dylan o'brien #dylan sprayberry #ellie mccall #emma james #scotland reilly #maisie o’brien #chloe o’brien #chloe daniels #harry styles

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failure-friendly · 4 years

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Does that Resonate?

Because no one has a crystal ball, doubt is a normal part of life, a normal part of being a person. For some reason some of us take that doubt very personally. Often, before we learn to read or write, we learn that this discomfort is proof that something is wrong with us. When we take the discomfort known as doubt and fuse it to our sense of self, ‘self doubt’ becomes us, in a very unhealthy way. We sever a connection to ourselves because we believe that we are not to be trusted.

Two memoirs made their way into my life recently to stir up this old wound. The first was ‘Untamed’ by Glennon Doyle, and the second ‘More Myself’ by Alicia Keys. Two phenomenal women spreading the same message in their unique voices. Their poetry slices through the noise to reveal the truth medicine. Here’s a passage from Key’s book, a conversation she had with Oprah when Alicia was unsure who to hire as her manager:

“With all the transition you’ve had,” I said to Oprah, “how have you found people who truly represent you and understand your vision?” Oprah sat there quietly for a moment before answering. “For many years,” she said, “I looked to someone outside of myself to dream up and create what only I could. I eventually realized that no one else can see your big picture. Only you know the journey you're on… But the truth is even with wise counsel, only you know what your next step should be. All my best decisions in life have come when I’ve tuned into what felt like the best move for me.” Oprah refers to this knowing as the ‘resounding yes’ feeling.

I can understand a concept like ‘follow your bliss’ or ‘trust your gut’ on a theoretical level, but it’s not until I can see tangible examples of what the opposite looks like, that it usually clicks. As soon as I read this passage I realised that when I scroll Pintrest looking to see what other people are doing or thinking, the way I gather opinions, survey the crowd, research, research, research, and interrogate the options from every angle before I make a move - that is me looking outside myself for something that only I can know. That’s me being in my head instead of my heart. That’s me turning my back on the ‘resounding yes’ sensation that’s felt in my body. That’s me dulling my instincts. Trusting everyone else but me.

That’s why the Failure Friendly Mindset is based on SELF awareness, SELF belief and SELF compassion. It’s about reconnecting the severed cord to your fine self. It’s learning how to trust yourself again without holding grudges for all the self abandonment. When taking the 21 Day Failure Friendly Challenge I invite you to embrace the lessons and practices that resonate, the things that re-sound what you already know to be true for you, the re-sounding yeses! And ditch the rest please. No one else can give us creative confidence, the answers or even the directions. That's on you babe, and you are without a doubt the only person for the job.

#failure friendly #self confidence #anxiety #depression #self love #self compassion #self acceptance #spirituality #glennon doyle #alicia keys #untammed #freedom #feminism

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kayleighstokesss · 4 years

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Telling Him Part 2 (Ilya Fedorovich)

The hard part was over, now all that was left was telling everyone. You scrolled through pintrest trying to find a good way to tell the group, when finally you came upon a shirt that said “If you read this, then you know I'm pregnant.” You and Ilya were flying out the LA the next day, so you were going to stop by the mall to have the shirt made on the way to the airport.

After the two of you got finished packing, you headed to the mall. The whole ride there Ilya kept his hand firmly on your thigh, singing along to the radio. You and Ilya walked into the mall hand in hand, you picked out a light gray shirt and had the letters printed out in black letters. “Do you like it?” you asked Ilya holding up the shirt. “Y/N. I honestly cant believe this is happening. Yes I love the shirt.” Ilya says as he pays for the shirt.

You get to the airport and eventually get on the plane. Your so nervous your leg is bouncing uncontrollably. Ilya grabs your hand with a squeeze “its okay baby, we got this.” The two of you land in Los Angeles and David picks the two of you up. You and Ilya are only staying the weekend, so David is letting you stay at his house. When you arrive, you see that Erin, Carly, Zane, Heath, Mariah, Natali, Taylor and Jason are already there which is going to make it easier to tell all of them together.

“I'm going to go change” you tell Ilya as he nods and kisses you on the cheek. “Okay, I'm going to sit down in the living room and wait on you” you head to the spare bedroom and put on the shirt you had made. You nervously make your way into the living room. Everyone was in their own conversations so no one notice you walk in and sit by Ilya. You nudged Ilya trying to get his attention away from David.

“Y/N, what does your shirt say I can only read to top half” Taylor asked, causing everyone's attention to shoot to your shirt. You and Ilya both stand up and you stretch your shirt out so everyone can see. “If you read this, then you know I'm pregnant” Ilya read out excitement clear in his voice.

“Oh my God!’ Heath shouts wrapping you in a hug. David instantly pulls out his camera facing it towards you and Ilya. “I'm gonna be an uncle” David shouts wrapping both of you in a hug. You laugh as everyone wishes you congrats and hugs you. “See I told you we go this” Ilya says as he wraps his arm around your waist. The butterflies that Ilya once caused you to have in your stomach turned into little feet. All you could think about was the next step in this new adventure with Ilya.

#ilya fedorovich #ilya feddy #david dobrik #kayleighstokesss

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starchild-nerites · 5 years

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Silkus Prime

So I was going through Pintrest, as one does, and whilst scrolling through the copious amounts of pictures I got inspired to draw the outfit I imagined Nerites wearing during his servitude to Sectarus Edius and the Orokin Empire. Now, I can't draw all that good. So Instead I just found the closest images I possibly could to what I imagined in my head.

Forenote that the top, bottoms, And shoes would all be connected into one suit. Not separate pieces.

I took heavy inspiration from Suda and Ballas's Orokin Attire

#warframe #operator #tenno #fashion #orokin #pintrest

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squishysvt · 7 years

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Get Away

Member: Johnny (NCT) Word Count: 2,427 A/N New admin here! I got inspired to write this while on my June teenth camping trip and I loosely based it on a few events that happened while on it. Despite whatever vibe the title gives, this isn’t angst (saving that for another day hehe). I’d like to thank the other admins for giving me plenty of support with my writing, especially Admin Sierra and Madi! Okay, I’ll shut up before I start rambling (more than I already have), hope you enjoy! -Admin Ay

*quick warning that there’s a tiny bit of cursing here*

“Yo, pack your bags, loser! We’re going camping!”

Your previously planned luxurious night of sipping on apple juice and scrolling through Instagram was ruined with the loud bang of your door being opened. You barely had time to flinch as your best friend towered in front of your sprawled figure on your living room couch.

“Johnny, why the hell are you in my house?” You swung your legs out of the way to make space for the intruder to sit next to you.

“Well, you left the door unlocked for starters. Which is a habit you need to fix by the way. What if I was a murderer?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, mom.”

“Anyway, hurry and go pack we’re camping for the next few days.”

“I don’t remember agreeing to this.”

Before you could say anything else Johnny quickly picked you up off of the couch, throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you to your room. Strings of curses turned into giggles as he tossed you onto your bed and tickled you. When you finally calmed down Johnny leaned down to your ear, a different kind of fluttering sensation in your chest than what was caused by your laughing.

He whispered, “Pack your bags.”

Knowing Johnny could be pretty stubborn if he wanted to be, you sighed as you rolled out of your soft mattress to pick out stuff you might need. After a good five minutes staring at your empty rucksack you remembered that you haven’t actually camped before. The closest experience to it being that one time when you were little and your dad pitched a small tent in the backyard that you never actually slept in. The sounds of little creatures scurrying around outside scared you far too much to stay in it.

“Johnny, what am I even supposed to bring?!” You yelled once you realized he was not still in the room with you.

“Look it up! You have internet!” Johnny’s response came back muffled, most likely from stuffing his face with food from your kitchen.

When you had finally pulled up a few things on Pintrest, you sighed.

“I’m gonna need a bigger bag.”

The car ride to whatever campsite Johnny had planned to go to was mostly you going through different scenarios in your head, each ending in either you or Johnny dying, or maybe even both.

Noticing the nervousness practically radiating off of you, Johnny rested one of his hands on your knee. “Chill, it’s all good in the hood.”

“I’m not all that experienced with nature, okay? What if a water moccasin gets into our tent? Or–”

“What the hell is a water moccasin?”

“It’s those fucking snakes that swim in water!”

“Well, I mean, I don’t even think those things live at the place we’re going to?”

“What about other snakes?! What about possums? Those things are vicious. Did you know armadillos carry leprosy? I could get skin disease!”

“You know an awful lot about animals you don’t like.”

“I need to have the upper hand if I ever see one. Know all their weaknesses and all that. Have you even camped before?”

Johnny winced. “Technically…no”

Your face darkened in horror. You were being lead into a death trap. Neither of you had experience in surviving in the outdoors. If the animals didn’t get you, the insects would, if it wasn’t the insects, it would be the weather, if it wasn’t the weather…

“(Y/N), stop over thinking things, okay? Have a little faith in me.”

You decided not to respond. The last time you trusted Johnny, you got a 50 on one of your tests. The horrendous grade made you swear that you would never let him help you study your class material ever again. However, his hand that still hadn’t moved from it’s position on your leg grounded you a little. Maybe everything would turn out alright.

A small jolt and the sound of the car’s gear shift causes you to slowly open your eyes. It takes a few seconds to realize where you were, you notice Johnny is already out of the car. When you finally decide to come out and help, you’re met with his lanky self attempting to carry all of the bags at once. The sight of Johnny swaying back and forth with the items caused you to chuckle.

“Do you need any help, you dumb giant?” The sentence coming out feathery, Johnny’s struggling still managing to tickle you.

“What does it look like?”

You smiled as you took your rucksack and another unfamiliar bag, probably filled with a whole bunch of Johnny’s unnecessary gadgets, from his hands. Spotting a picnic table nearby, you set the bags on it and turned back to Johnny. He was also making his way to the table. Normally with his uselessly long body Johnny would have probably taken half the time you did to get where you currently were, but the large amount of bags he carried slowed him down immensely. Rolling your eyes every time he dropped something, you decided to meet him halfway and take some of the load off his hands before something broke.

“So what are we supposed to set up the tent or something now?” You asked once everything was put down.

“Assuming you don’t want to sleep outside in the dirt, I would think so.”

You scowled at the tone he used. The two of you normally went back and forth but it was normally more light hearted than anything. “Dang, what’s with the attitude?”

Johnny sighed, “Sorry I just…it’s just been a bad week. I barely got any sleep last night and I got fired from my dumb summer job–”

“Is that why you wanted to go on this sudden camping trip? To get away or something?” Your words had come out a bit muffled as you hugged Johnny, your face buried in his chest.

“Something like that”

The both of you stayed in that position for a while, enjoying each other’s presence in the quiet nature around you. The nervousness the thought of staying in the outdoors gave you was long gone. You sighed as you reluctantly pushed away from Johnny.

“Let’s get that tent put up now.”

The tent materials were surprisingly heavy, causing you to groan as you picked them up. Johnny automatically moved to take the bag out of your hands when he heard you struggling.

“Jeez, let me help you with that before you hurt yourself, princess.” He winked as you pouted at him.

“Do you even know how to put up that thing?”

“Uh, no. That’s why I have instructions.”

To your surprise, Johnny had managed to set up the tent in around 10 minutes. You gave him a very impressed nod, Johnny giving a very smug smirk in response. The stroking of his ego may have been a bit of a mistake, but you were too happy that his mood seemed a little lighter than before to care. While he had been setting up the tent you put up your two chairs. You had also taken out sandwiches for you to eat and to feed Johnny every time he took a small break. This left you with nothing much to do since it was not dark enough to start a campfire yet.

“Now what?”

Johnny looked around the area to find something to do, soon gaining a rather mischievous look on his face. “Why don’t we skinny dip in that creek over there?”

You felt your face heat up at the suggestion and slapped his shoulder in annoyance.

“Okay, maybe not skinny dip but we can still swim in it.” He started towards the body of water and you followed him.

“But I don’t have a swim suit,” you stated.

“Neither do I.” Johnny smirked at you. Seriously, he smirked way to much and you were starting to wonder when he started the annoying (and sort of heart fluttering) habit of his.

Once again your face had darkened in horror as he began to take off his shirt and jump into the creek.

“Johnny, what the hell you could get hurt?! How do expect your clothes to get dry?! You could get sick!”

Despite your panic Johnny only laughed. “Come on, (Y/N)! I can dry off by the fire. Stop being such a square and have a little fun!”

When you had managed to convince yourself that everything was fine you (hesitantly) stepped into the water as well. The water was cold, contrasting to the summer heat. It took you a second to get used to with Johnny splashing you with water constantly, but once you did you began to loosen up. Soon you and Johnny were enjoying yourselves in the water. Both of you had lost track of time until Johnny had pointed out the sun starting to set and decided to head back to the campsite and start a campfire.

You had decided to pull out your speaker and play music from your phone as Johnny started the fire. Initially you had planned to sit down and rest as Johnny got the flames going, but in the end he had been struggling way too much and you had to eventually step in and do it yourself.

“Uh, looks like you got it so I’ll go ahead and take out the stuff for the s’mores.”

You only nodded and hummed in response, trying to remember your dad’s random survival tips on how to start a fire.

“Did you by chance bring any skewers to roast the marshmallows with, (Y/N)?”

You took your attention away from the fire towards the parked car where Johnny was rummaging through the car’s trunk. You shook your head until you realized he wasn’t look at you and spoke up.

“No, I didn’t even know we were gonna do s’mores tonight.”

“Haha, well shit I forgot to bring them. I’ll go snap some twigs from trees to use.”

Bringing your attention back to the sparks you were creating you only nodded.

“Don’t get bit by a snake,” you sighed distractedly.

Once you had finally gotten the fire started you had noticed that Johnny had been gone quite a while. Getting worried you got up to call him when a high shriek interrupted you. Alarmed you ran into the direction of the noise and was met with Johnny doubled over in pain and holding his hand.

You started to panic.

“Johnny are you okay? What happened?”

You moved Johnny to stand up straight and grabbed his hand to get a good look at it. His face scrunched up in pain while he groaned.

“I got stung by a bee.”

At his words your head snapped up.

“Are you kidding me? Ugh, I hate you so much sometimes.”

You grabbed Johnny’s hand and led him to the picnic table to sit down. You then marched to the cooler holding your drinks and grabbed a handful of ice.

“What are you,” you put the ice in the hand where Johnny was stung, “Fuck, that’s cold!”

Before he could drop the cubes of ice you stopped him. “Shut up and stop being a wuss. The ice will reduce the swelling so make sure it’s on the sting.”

Johnny looked at you surprised. “How’d you know to do that?”

“Didn’t I tell you I like to keep the upper hand with these type of things?”

Both of you laughed and made your way to sit next to the burning campfire. Johnny took a bundle of sticks from his pocket.

“S’mores?”

You smiled, “Yeah, when you finish roasting your marshmallows I’ll make yours for you. Being one handed and all.” You pointed at his hand holding the ice.

“Thanks.”

After eating more s’mores than probably healthy and drying up, you and Johnny decided to head to bed. As Johnny made his way to the picnic table that his sleeping bag laid on top of, you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach.

“I forgot my sleeping bag.”

Your small voice caused him to look up to hear you better.

“My sleeping bag. I forgot it.”

Johnny coughed at your statement. “Um…I guess you’ll have to sleep with me…?”

The suggestion caused you to blush and look away. Sure the both of you were friends and you didn’t mind skinship, but sleeping together? That was unexplored territory. Before your mind could wander towards the unknown scenarios of the night you shuffled towards the tent.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go. I’m tired from all that swimming.” The sound of your voice leaving your mouth caused you to cringe. It coming out in a higher pitch than intended.

Once both of you were in the tent and settled the sleeping bag in the right position, you both didn’t really know what to do. You soon got tired of the awkward atmosphere surrounding Johnny and you and decided to take the lead in the situation.

You huffed, “So are you going to lay down first or am I?”

Johnny seemed to have snapped from his original state of mind after you spoke. “You first, princess. Make yourself comfortable.” To put more emphases on his use of the word “princess,” he bowed and pointed in the direction of the sleeping area.

You rolled your eyes at the gesture. “Gee, thanks.”

You crawled into the somewhat large sleeping bag and wriggled around to get yourself comfortable and stared at Johnny as he slid into the bag as well. He was about to zip it up until you nudged him.

“Don’t. It’s hot and you’re so huge half of you might have to stick out anyway.”

Johnny giggled and threw an arm and a leg over you.

“Stop being annoying.”

Rather than pushing him away however, you turned so that you were facing each other and threw an arm and leg over his body as well. With the eventful day slowly weighing on you, you slowly began to fall asleep. The rise and fall of Johnny’s chest and his steady heartbeat gave you comfort.

It was then when you heard a soft “I love you,” from the male. If you had been a more awake condition, you probably would have been in shock.

But you weren’t.

So you allowed yourself to be entranced by Johnny’s warm embrace and the quiet of the nature around you, and slept.

The two of you both would have to save the conversation about your future relationship for in the morning, when you both woke up sweaty from the heat.

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