#i’ll get the lyrics up pretty soon hopefully | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crystalninjaphoenix · 1 year

Text

Colder in the Summertime

Paranormal Preteens AU: Episode Nine

A JSE Fanfic

There’s not a lot of the supernatural in this part, but it’s important anyway. Oh boy. It’s very important. The boys have a meeting about what they should do before summer vacation ends. Afterwards, Chase’s mom sits him down and explains exactly why Schneep is staying with them. And, uh, the reason isn’t a happy one. I’ll leave you to your reading from there. Fun fact, the title for this part is a lyric from a song that I listened to over and over while writing it. Bonus points to anyone who gets it :)

++++++++++++++++++++

It was no longer the height of summer, but Zelly’s Soda and Ice Cream was still pretty busy. The whole gang—Chase, Schneep, Jackie, and the twins—had claimed a table near the back of the restaurant. It was a bit emptier back here, but there were still plenty of people nearby. Hopefully they were all busy with their own stuff and weren’t listening in on the five’s conversation.

“So did you end up getting a job here, Jackie?” Marvin asked. “They don’t have that sign in the window anymore.”

“Yep,” Jackie said. “Sylvester did, too. Both of us are part-time.”

“Are they gonna make you start working soon? Do we have to hurry through talking?”

Jackie laughed. “No, that’s not how jobs work. They don’t make you do stuff whenever they see you, they make a schedule for you to follow. Like school. I don’t have a shift today.”

“That’s so cool!” Chase gasped. “I’d love to work somewhere with food. Do you get free ice cream?”

“I get a discount, yeah,” Jackie said. “That’s how I was able to buy this.” He indicated the basket of cheesy fries on the table. “And how I’m going to be able to buy all the stuff you guys order. Do you think it’s a good idea to have all that sugar?”

What are you, our mom? JJ asked. Marvin laughed.

“No, but I don’t want to hear from your moms about you guys having a sugar rush,” Jackie said. “Anyway. School’s starting soon.”

Chase groaned loudly. Ah, yes. School was only a couple weeks away. Summer was going to end. And when that happened, everything would change. Schneep would go back to Germany, Jackie would be in a different year with more homework, and it would become a lot harder to hang out with Marvin and Jameson without kids in his school making fun of him for being friends with weirdos. Even if the twins were fun, nice weirdos. Kids didn’t care if you were fun or nice, just if you were different.

“Not very excited, I see,” Jackie muttered, looking around the table. In addition to Chase’s groan, Jameson made a face, Schneep had gone pale, and Marvin leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling with an expression of vague but certain doom.

“School fucking sucks!” Marvin shouted.

“Don’t be so loud,” Schneep said, glancing around. Several people had looked at their table.

“I was being loud?” Marvin asked, confused. He looked at JJ. “Was I being loud?” JJ shrugged. “Well. I was loud because school really fucking sucks. It’s noisy and boring and crowded and shitty.”

“I don’t wanna do exams,” Chase muttered. “I hate exams.”

It’s the pressure, JJ agreed. They’re timed, and worth so much of your grade, too.

“I think exams are fine,” Schneep said quietly, a bit shy to go against the others. “Once they are done, they are done. It is the studying at home that is...bad.”

“What’re you worried about? You’re, like, a genius,” Chase said jokingly.

Schneep looked at him, then quickly looked away, saying nothing.

“Back to my point,” Jackie said. “When school starts, we’re all gonna be busy. It’ll be harder to get free time to investigate the weird stuff around town. So, before that happens, we need to handle the biggest weird thing we can find. The one that’ll take a lot of time and planning. And I have an idea what. Do you remember that giant dog that broke into Chase’s house?”

“No, I forgot about that,” Chase said sarcastically.

Jackie smiled a bit. “Well, I think we need to find that and take care of it.”

Take care of it how? Jameson asked.

“I don’t know. We need to figure that out.”

“Are we gonna kill a dog?” Marvin gasped. “I don’t wanna kill a dog!”

“You are still a bit loud,” Schneep pointed out, glancing around uneasily.

“We don’t have to go that far,” Jackie hurriedly said. “Not if we don’t have to. Just...get it out of town.”

Marvin let out a breath of relief.

When does school start, again? Jameson asked. I’m asking so we know our deadline.

“The fifteenth,” Chase said. “Mom’s made sure I know.”

“That’s my birthday,” Schneep mumbled.

Your birthday’s coming up? Jameson said, surprised. It starts on the first day of school?

Schneep nodded.

JJ grinned. Happy birthday! How old are you going to be?

“Twelve.”

“That’s so cool,” Marvin added. “I mean, it kind of sucks that it’s on the first school day, because then you can’t have a party actually on your birthday. We’ll have to have one the Saturday before or something. Ooo, what do you want? I bet JJ can convince our parents to buy you a good present. They might want you to buy us a good present in return, though. Which sucks because then it’s not really a present if you’re getting something for it. Besides our birthday is on Halloween and that’s like two months away, so who really wants to already be roped into—”

“No way,” Chase interrupted. “Your birthday is not on Halloween.”

“It fucking is,” Marvin said. “That’s how come I have such strong magic, because I was born on the witches’ new year.”

“No, I don’t believe you. That’s like having your birthday on Christmas.”

“People have their birthdays on Christmas all the time!”

Chase, that is ACTUALLY our birthday, JJ jumped in. I know what you’re thinking, but I promise you, we were born on October 31st.

“Really?” Chase stared at him, still a bit doubtful. Jameson would easily back up one of Marvin’s... witch things. But he looked sincere. “Huh. That’s funny.”

“We’ll all get everyone presents for their birthdays when they come up,” Jackie said. “But right now, we need to focus.”

“How are we supposed to take care of the big dog?” Schneep asked quietly. “It is...big. And we have no clue where it is.”

“I was looking around for that, actually,” Jackie said. “There’s been a lot of sightings of wolves and wild animals in the neighborhoods. A few attacks. Nobody’s been killed, thank god, but there have been injuries. Oh, hang on.” He reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out a street map of Hollewych, which had probably been taken from his car. “I’ve made X marks where there’s been a sighting reported in the newspapers. They’re all concentrated over here.” He circled the area with the most Xs.

“That’s my neighborhood,” Chase said, a bit worried. “I guess that makes sense why it showed up at my house, then. Do you think it’ll show up again?”

Jackie hesitated. “Probably not,” he said slowly. “I, uh...haven’t seen any repeated sightings in the news. So I don’t think it’ll be in the same place twice.”

“Like lightning,” Marvin said.

Chase glanced at Schneep, expecting him to say something about how lightning does actually strike the same place twice. But Schneep was quiet.

So how do we track it down? JJ asked. Should we stake out the neighborhood?

“Well, I noticed something,” Jackie said. “These are the older sightings, and these are the newer ones. Do you see how they’re sort of drifting that way? To the east?”

Towards the inside of the city, JJ agreed. So we can figure out where it might be next because it’s going east?

“But what do we do when we see it?” Chase asked.

“Hmm.” Marvin hummed. “Maybe there’s some way to turn it back into a normal dog.”

“How do you know it used to be a normal dog?” Chase folded his arms. “Maybe it’s always been a big monster dog.”

“Well, I don’t know. But listen. I was thinking about how my crystal collection helped protect us from the mushrooms. I was wondering if we could somehow use that. Like, maybe if we threw a big crystal at the dog, and it stayed near it for long enough, the crystal would...push the evil monster-y bits out of it.”

“That’s a good idea,” Jackie said. “But we should come up with something else, too, just in case.”

A moment of silence passed. Chase expected Schneep to say something, to come up with some sort of idea. But he just sat there.

The dog was hungry when it broke into Chase’s house, JJ finally said. Maybe it’s out walking around looking for food. Maybe we can lure it out of the city with some sort of bait.

“Like dog food?” Chase asked.

“Maybe if we get meat or something,” Jackie speculated. “Like a steak. Dogs like human food more than dog food, I hear. I think I could get something like that.”

“Okay.” Marvin nodded. “Okay, so I have an idea. We get some meat of some kind, and drive around looking for the monster dog. When we find it, we put the meat on the ground. The dog goes to eat it, and that’s when we try the crystal thing. If that doesn’t work, then we get into Jackie’s car and hang more meat out the window so the dog can see and smell it. Then we drive out of town, and it follows us, leaving forever.”

“Thanks for volunteering my car,” Jackie muttered.

“Well it’s probably really fast, huh? Because it’s so big,” Marvin said. “We can’t outrun normal-sized dogs on our bikes, so we need a car.”

“No, I get it, I just...I’m going to need to come up with some explanation for my dad.” Jackie sighed. “You know this might take a while, right? We could be driving around every night until school starts.”

“Not night,” Chase said. “Mom’s gonna crack down on bedtime, soon.” Which was totally unfair. School didn’t start for weeks, why did he have to start going to bed earlier now? Especially when it was still really light outside at the time when Mom said he should go to sleep.

“Yeah, our mam and dad are gonna do that, too,” Marvin said. JJ nodded in agreement, looking unhappy.

“Well, the animal sightings usually happen later,” Jackie said. “But maybe we could do it in the evenings. After dinner or something. Heh. It’s a good thing it doesn’t get dark early like in winter.”

“What are we supposed to tell our... guardians?” Schneep asked awkwardly.

Jackie sighed. “I don’t know. I guess you’ll all have to come up with that for your own parents. If it helps, you can say I’ll be there to watch you guys.”

The table went silent for a little bit. Chase thought about what he could tell his mom. Maybe he could say that he was trying to get as much “outdoor time” as possible before school started, trapping him indoors. She would like that. It made her happy to see him active.

“Oh hey Chase, look,” Marvin said, pointing. “It’s that girl you hate.”

Chase stiffened. “Don’t point,” he hissed, ducking behind the napkin holder.

Indeed, Heather Westing was sitting at a table in Zelly’s. It was halfway across the restaurant, but still within easy eyeshot. She was there with a woman who was probably her mom, and one of her sidekicks: Curly Hair. Weirdly, her other sidekick, Pink Glasses, was nowhere to be seen. Chase watched her for a few seconds, then decided she hadn’t noticed them and relaxed a little. “Just ignore her,” he said slowly.

Marvin shrugged. “Sure.”

Also I see our ice cream, JJ added, pointing at a waiter carrying a tray with five cups of ice cream.

“Don’t point at him, either,” Chase said. “Don’t point at anyone. It just draws attention to you, and we’re trying to be discerned.”

Jackie chuckled. “Do you mean discreet?”

Chase blinked. “Uh. Yeah. That.”

“Discreet,” Schneep repeated idly, trying out the word. Chase looked at him, waiting for him to ask what it meant. But...nothing.

The waiter arrived, dropping off their ice cream and chatting with Jackie a little bit. The group dug into their ice cream, but as they did, Chase watched Schneep. Paying close attention to him.

++++++++++++++++++++

Schneep had been acting weird ever since they’d gotten back from the camping trip, a bit over a week ago. Quiet, mostly. Over the summer, Schneep had relaxed a little around Chase. The two of them talked a lot, went on walks, and Schneep found he liked some of Chase’s favorite TV shows. But now it was back to how he acted at the start. He barely spoke, and spent almost all of his time in his room. Even though the door still stayed open, he wouldn’t respond much when Chase stopped outside and looked in. One word replies at most.

Chase was worried. Was Schneep mad at him? Did he think he’d ruined the camping trip by bringing the mushrooms? The rest of the trip had been fun, but Chase knew that fighting magical fungus had been... not ideal.

He didn’t know how to talk to Schneep about it. The most he figured out was asking Schneep how he was feeling, if he was alright, and Schneep’s responses were short every time. Chase knew he needed help to figure out what to do after that. So he went to the person he could depend on for help with this feelings stuff.

“Mom?” Chase slowly opened the door to his mom’s bedroom. “Are you, uh...doing work stuff?”

Mom’s bedroom was a bit more crowded now that all the office stuff had been moved there to make way for Schneep’s room, but it was still bigger than Chase’s. And more boring, too. The walls were painted a pale gray, completely undecorated except for a single painting Mom had done at some work “retreat” a couple years ago. Bookshelves lined one wall, full of big chapter books with tiny print, and a long, low dresser sat against the opposite wall. The office stuff was shoved into the back corner, while the big bed was by the wall with the window. There used to be a TV in here, but Chase’s dad had taken that when he moved out.

“No, I’m not busy right now,” Mom said. She was lying in bed with a book, but sat up when Chase opened the door. “What is it?”

“I, uh... can I ask you something?” Chase stepped fully into the room.

“Of course, sweets.” Mom slid a bookmark into her book and put it down on the mattress. “Anything.”

“How, uh...how do you know if someone is... upset? With you? Without him, uh...telling you?”

“Well, it depends on the person, but there are some signs,” Mom said. “Usually they don’t want to see you, or try to avoid you. Maybe they make passive-aggressive comments—you know, the ones that sound mean but aren’t shouting or anything, just a weird, rude tone. Sometimes they seem cold, or snippy. Do you think someone’s upset with you, Chase?”

“Well, uh...” Chase closed the door to Mom’s room and leaned against it. “I think Sch—Henrik’s been a little...I don’t know. He’s not talking to me. And I think I might’ve done something wrong.”

“Oh, Chase.” Mom sighed. “It’s possible that he’s upset with you, but it’s more possible that he’s not. Henrik... has his own problems. I think those might be bothering him.”

“Oh.” Chase paused. “Is he sad that he’s almost going home?”

Mom stared at him. “What?”

“What?” Chase was confused by his mom’s confusion.

“What do you mean, ‘he’s almost going home’?” Mom asked.

“At the end of the summer,” Chase said. “He has to go back to Germany. You always say that you can’t be on vacation forever.”

“Chase, Henrik isn’t on vacation,” Mom said. “He’s staying with us for more than the summer.”

“Oh.” Chase paused. “So...did his parents, like, sign him up for an exchange program at school? That’s a thing, right? Where a kid spends a year at a school in another country?”

“Chase.” Mom was stunned, and possibly a little disappointed. “Henrik isn’t just staying with us for a little bit. He lives with us now.”

“...huh?” That only made Chase more confused. “But I thought...”

“If he was only staying for a little bit, I would’ve made him sleep in your room, instead of giving him a room of his own,” Mom said. “Why do you think I bought him a whole bunch of clothes, including a uniform for school?”

“You didn’t say he was living with us forever,” Chase emphasized.

“I thought I did.” Mom sighed. “Maybe you weren’t listening. It was in May. You were... adjusting.”

Chase stood there for a moment. He didn’t mind that Schneep was going to be living with them. Well, maybe he minded a little bit. But that was mostly because he was upset with himself for not realizing that, and preparing his brain for that fact. Still, it didn’t make sense to him. “What about Uncle Albrecht and Aunt Maggie? Don’t they want him to go back?” He gasped. “Did something happen to them?!”

“No, nothing happened to them. They—” Mom shook her head and sighed. She stared at Chase, eyes scanning him. Chase had seen that look a couple times. She was trying to decide if he was old enough to hear something grown-up. Last time she’d given him that look was when he asked where babies came from. Now? There was something different about it. Still serious, but a different type of serious. “Chase, come sit down,” she finally said.

“...Okay.” Chase walked over and hopped onto the edge of Mom’s bed. It was taller than his, and his feet dangled a couple inches off the ground. Of course, Mom, sitting next to him, didn’t have that problem.

Mom was quiet for a moment. “Chase.” When she spoke, her voice was just as serious as her look had been. “Henrik’s parents aren’t allowed to take care of him anymore.”

“What?” Chase blinked. “I don’t get it. How can you not be allowed to take care of your kid?”

“Well.” Mom paused. “A parent’s job is to...parent their kid. Some people are really good at that, and some people aren’t. When a mom, or a dad, or both, are so bad at parenting that it ends up... ends up hurting their kid, either by accident or...not, then...then there are people who step in and say they can’t do it anymore.”

“What people?”

“It’s part of the government. A lot of countries have an organization that takes care of kids, and makes sure that parents aren’t...you know. Doing bad things. America has one, and the UK has one, and Germany has one.” Mom took a deep breath. “See, what happened was that the organization in Germany found out that Henrik’s parents were... they were being really mean to him. And he was suffering because of it. So they wanted Henrik to go live with relatives, but he doesn’t have any in Germany, so they contacted the organization here, and those guys contacted me. They told me what happened, and asked if I wanted Henrik to stay with us. And I said yes.”

Chase didn’t say anything. He looked down at his legs, hanging off the side of the bed, his heels gently hitting the bedframe. “So... is... Did Henrik want to stay here, too?”

“I think he was having a little trouble,” Mom said quietly. “It’s a whole different country, after all. But he didn’t want to live with Uncle Albrecht and Aunt Maggie anymore. He’s, um... he’s very sad. And scared. And a lot of other things. So, that might be why he’s not talking to you right now.”

“I...” Chase swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. “While we were on the camping trip, I said that he was going to leave at the end of summer. He asked me something like, ‘is that true,’ and I said it was, and he went kind of quiet. And he’s been kind of quiet since then.”

“Oh, sweets,” Mom whispered.

“I-I didn’t know that he was gonna be staying with us.” Chase tightened his hands into fists, bundling the cloth of his shorts together. “If I did, I wouldn’t have said that. Oh my god. He—he probably thinks we’re gonna send him back, a-and you said he didn’t want to be there anymore—”

“Chase, honey, calm down.” Mom wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close to her. “It was a mistake. You didn’t know. And if you tell Henrik that you’re sorry, and that it was a misunderstanding, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“H-how do I do that?” Chase asked quietly.

“It’s easy, don’t worry. You have to walk up to him and say you want to talk. You mention that thing that you said during the camping trip, and explain that you didn’t know he was going to stay with us. You tell him that you know now, and that you’re sorry that you upset him.”

“I say sorry even if it wasn’t on purpose?”

“Yes, you say sorry even if it wasn’t on purpose. Because it still made him sad, and if you don’t say sorry, it sounds like you don’t care about that.”

“But I do,” Chase said softly. “I didn’t want to upset him.”

“You tell him that, then.” Mom gave him a gentle smile. “Henrik is a smart boy. And he knows you well. He’ll understand. And if he doesn’t, come tell me, and I’ll help.”

Chase let out a long breath. “Okay.” He nodded. His eyes felt a little wet. “I-I’ll go do that right now.” He stood up from the bed, landing on the floor, but didn’t walk away.

“Go on,” Mom said encouragingly. “You can do it.”

“I can do it,” Chase repeated. He inhaled slowly. “Okay. I’m...gonna go do that.” Now he started walking to the door.”

“Good luck,” Mom said. “I’ll be here if you need anything.”

++++++++++++++++++++

Aunt Jess had told Schneep that there were snacks in one of the kitchen cabinets—one of the ones on the bottom—and that he was welcome to take one whenever he wanted. She said that he didn’t even need to ask, just tell her when they were getting low. But he still asked. Just in case the rules changed.

Today, though, he didn’t really want to talk to her. He hadn’t really wanted to talk to her or Chase at all recently. There wasn’t a point to it anymore. Not when he wasn’t going to see them again. So, when Schneep saw Chase go into his mom’s room, he crept down the stairs and went into the kitchen. He found the cabinet Aunt Jess had pointed out and opened it up, looking for something to eat. Ideally, something that wouldn’t leave crumbs. He was going to eat it in his room, and he didn’t want to clean that up.

He picked out a small packet of colorful candies labeled as Jelly Babies, then carefully closed the cabinet so it wouldn’t slam. And when he let out a little breath of relief, that’s when he heard the laughter behind him.

Schneep stiffened and spun around, hiding the candy behind his back. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, right under the ceiling light, was a shadowy figure. Despite the bright light shining down directly on it, the figure looked dark. Schneep felt his heart speed up. It was that same shadow that he’d seen in his room a few weeks ago. The same one Chase had seen in the library. Why was it here again?

“Hi, Henrik,” whispered a voice. A boy’s, maybe a teenager’s. “They’re talking about you.”

Schneep opened his mouth. But nothing came out. Not words, not a scream, nothing.

“Up there.” The shadow raised his hand, pointing at the ceiling. “They’re talking about you. They’re talking about how much of a scaredy-cat you are.”

Still nothing. Schneep’s muscles were locked in place. He glanced around without turning his head. The shadow blocked the entrance to the hallway, but the way to the dining room was open. If only he could make himself move.

“Are you scared?” The shadow asked. “Right now?” He paused, as if waiting for an answer. When Schneep stayed silent, he took a step forward. “What about now?” Still, Schneep couldn’t answer. So the shadow took another step. “Or now?”

He should run. Turn and sprint away before the shadow closed in on him. But he just couldn’t move.

“Your friends call you something else,” the shadow said. “Schneep. That’s a nickname, right? Can I call you that? You can call me something, too.” Something flickered in the shadow’s face. Teeth. White teeth, stretched in a smile right where the mouth would be, the only visible feature, stark against the darkness of the shadow. “Schneep, do you like games? I love games. Do you want to play together? All your friends can, too. So, do you?”

Schneep finally managed to do something. He took a step backwards.

“Are you scared now?” the shadow whispered. “Do you know what it’s like to be afraid?”

The terrible silence was broken by the sound of steps coming down the staircase. Light and fast—Chase, not Aunt Jess. The shadow turned and looked towards the noise. He tilted his head. While he was distracted, Schneep started to step to the side, trying to edge around the shadow.

“Schneep? Are you down here?” Chase called.

The shadow laughed. “Are you down here?” he repeated in a singsong voice.

Chase’s footsteps stopped. Then burst into a run. Chase himself appeared in the kitchen entrance. His eyes landed on the shadow, flicked towards Schneep, then went back to the shadow. “Get the heck out of here!” he shouted.

Again, the shadow giggled. And just like that, it vanished.

“Oh my god! Schneep, are you okay?!” Chase hurried over and started patting Schneep’s arms and torso as if checking for injuries.

“Mir geht—I-I am alright,” Schneep said shakily. “You do not need to touch me, I am not hurt.”

“Sorry.” Chase abruptly stopped, taking a step backwards. “Jeez, what does that shadow guy want?”

“He...said something about playing games,” Schneep said quietly. “And asked me if I was afraid.”

Chase paused. “Did you...say anything back?”

Schneep shook his head. He looked down at his hands. The plastic bag of candy had been scrunched under his tight grip.

“Okay. Okay. I mean, that was probably a good idea.” Chase put his hands in his pockets. He kicked the floor idly, socked feet slipping on the tiles. “Um... do you wanna... watch TV?”

“No thank you,” Schneep said. “I-I will just go back to my room.”

“Okay, but, um...” Chase seemed to be having trouble coming up with words. “I, uh... I-I want to talk to you about something. So, uh...do you wanna go sit on the couch? And talk?”

This was different. Schneep had never seen Chase so awkward, and he’d never heard that tone in his voice. After a moment, he nodded. “Okay.”

“Great! I mean, um, good.” Chase started walking backwards. “Let’s, uh...go, then.” He made sure that Schneep was following him before he turned around and walked forwards again.

They made their way to the living room and sat on the sofa the same way they always had: with Chase on the right and Schneep on the left. Only this time Chase wasn’t slumping against the back as he usually did. He was upright, at attention. That, more than anything, told Schneeep this was important. The silence in the room felt heavy. Waiting. Schneep put the packet of candy down on the coffee table and placed his hands in his lap, where they fiddled with the edge of his sweater. “What is it?” he asked quietly.

“I...um...” Chase was still struggling with words. “I didn’t know—I mean, I-I thought you were only visiting for the summer. But Mom told me just now that that was wrong. She also told me earlier, before you got here, but I guess I forgot. I, uh... I know now. That you’re staying with us for... like, forever. So... I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, somehow, by saying that you were gonna go back home at the end of summer. I-I didn’t know. But I’m still sorry.”

Schneep stared at him. “Wait. So...I-I am staying? That didn’t change?”

“No. I mean yes! I mean—” Chase made a frustrated noise. “Yes, you’re staying. No, that didn’t change.”

“For how long?”

“For forever. Or, I guess, until you’re old enough to live on your own and decide to move out. But that’s the same with me, too. And anyone. When you grow up you move out. If you want to. Some people don’t. But, uh, yeah. Mom’s gonna... take care of you. A-and you’re gonna still live in your bedroom upstairs. And stuff.” Chase looked distinctly nervous now, and was talking to fill up space.

“...oh.” Schneep looked away from Chase, processing all this.

“I-if I made you think you weren’t staying, that’s my fault, cause I didn’t know,” Chase said, somewhat hurriedly. He waited for Schneep to say something else. But when that didn’t happen, he coughed and continued. “Are you... happy about that? About living here?”

“I...yes, I am,” Schneep said.

“You don’t... sound like it,” Chase said slowly.

“Well, there are other feelings, too.” Scheep paused, trying to figure out how to explain this. He took a deep breath. “Chase, do you remember the mushrooms on the camping trip? When they put everyone to sleep and gave them dreams? I was dreaming that... that I was living here. That I had always lived here. That Aunt Jess was my mom, and you were...” He trailed off. “I liked that dream. But... I felt... bad about it, too. I thought... I thought ‘I should be home. I should not like this dream, it is like... like I am traitoring Mama and Papa.’”

“Betraying?” Chase asked.

“Yes. That.”

Chase blinked. His nervousness had veered into anxiety. “Um... Mom told me... just now... that your parents weren’t... good at being parents.”

“I do not think they were,” Schneep muttered.

“She said they were mean.”

Schneep didn’t respond to that. He just squeezed the edge of his sweater tighter, making a small ball of the fabric.

“But I guess... you still gotta like your parents,” Chase said slowly. “You still spend a lot of time with them, and live with them, and eat with them. Sometimes I think Mom’s being really unfair, and I say I hate her, but I know I don’t. I guess that’s what it’s like for you, only... there are more unfair moments.”

Schneep looked back over at Chase. “Aunt Jess is really nice. You think you hate her sometimes?”

Chase shrugged. “I think all kids hate their parents sometimes. Just... sometimes it’s right.”

“Hmm.” They both went quiet for a moment, looking at each other. Then Schneep took a deep breath, “I-I did not want to go back home. I do not. I-I am very glad I can stay here. Because Aunt Jess is really nice, and so are you. I am... Thank you. For explaining that it was a mistake.”

“No problem.” Chase gave a small smile, which quickly disappeared. “Uh... I’m not good with all this stuff. Like, talking about feelings and stuff. But if you want to talk about feelings, I’ll, uh... try to be good. I’ll shut up and let you talk.”

“Thank you,” Schneep said softly. “But I think I am not ready for that. Well...I talk with Rya about it, but she makes it really easy.”

Chase blinked. “Who?”

“She is...” Schneep paused, blanking on the long English word. “She is this lady that Aunt Jess takes me to see on Wednesdays. She is good at this.”

“Oh, wait. I think I know her.” Chase nodded. “She’s like...a psychologist or something.”

“Ja, that’s the word.” Schneep nodded back. “How do you know?”

“Oh. Um.” Chase shifted position awkwardly. “After Dad left, Mom wanted me to talk with her about... stuff. But I didn’t really want to. So I stopped going.”

Schneep tilted his head. “I did not know that. Rya did not mention you.”

“I don’t think psychologists are supposed to talk about the other people they talk to. That’s, like, a rule.”

The two of them sat in silence for a while. They looked away from each other, staring at the blank television. After a few moments, Schneep picked up the packet of candy again. “Maybe... we can watch TV. Just a little bit.”

“Okay.” Chase leaned over and grabbed the remote from where it sat on top of the sofa’s armrest. “I don’t know what’s on now. But that’s fine. Right?”

“Right.”

Chase turned on the TV, flipping through the channels until he got to his usual one. Then he leaned back against the sofa. Not quite slumping like he usually does, but still more relaxed than before. A few minutes later, he tensed a little bit when he felt Schneep lean against him, head resting against his shoulder. When Schneep didn’t move away, he relaxed again.

A couple hours later, Mom came downstairs to start making dinner and saw the two of them napping on the sofa, leaning against each other as they slept.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #septic egos au #jacksepticeye au #chase brody #dr schneeplestein #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #jameson jackson #brigid writes fanfiction #pnptau

13 notes · View notes

asahistime · 2 years

Text

plot: jaehyuk writes love letters for you

author’s note: this is also inspired by let you break my heart again by laufey ! i suggest you hear her song as this letter has her lyrics. angst :)

feeling kind of sick tonight

all i’ve had is coffee and leftover pie

it’s no wonder why

maybe it was your pie you made? no. it can’t, i love your pie. was it the hot cup of coffee you poured me? maybe the amount of creamer you added? or was it the fact that i’m in love with you? seeing you with asahi made me feel like i was sick. i genuinely never felt anything like this. i always felt calm and collected, but now i feel sick. watching you with him, cuddled in a bunch of blankets made me sick, so sick i told you i wasn’t feeling great, much rather sick. it was never anything you made that made me sick.

oh, still you take up all my mind

i don’t even think you care like i do

i should stop

heaven knows i tried

i know i shouldn’t be thinking about you. at all, your my best friend’s girlfriend, but you were my friend first. maybe we were too small or too young to understand our feelings. or you never had feelings? i remember the time you told me when you met asahi, “that’s your friend? asahi? he’s really pretty. like gorgeous.” you smiled. or when asahi asked about you, frequently, “your friend, y/n? right?,” “how’s y/n?,” “y/n is really pretty. like really pretty,” “can i have her number?” and my heart dropped. so when he texted you, you were in delight, content, every emotion you felt with me. it took 10 years to make you happy, but 1 message to make me feel upset. “jaehyuk!! he asked me to hang out!” you hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. you always gave me kisses on the cheeks, i thought i was the only one but i realized that was your love language.

one day

i will stop falling in love with you

some day

someone will like me like i like you

sooner or later, we always hung out. only when asahi was there. i understood what people said a trio would be like, i guess never guessed it would be you and asahi together all the time. you shared inside jokes, wore his clothes and even matched. i guess i should have seen it coming when you said, “we’re dating!” as you held his hand, intertwined together. my heart dropped, my eyes widen but i couldn’t say anything because you weren’t mine. “congrats! i’m so happy for you guys.“ i thought i hid my feelings away. but asahi saw through me. he always did. “hey asahi. what are you doing here?” i asked as i held my door open. “i know you’re in love with y/n. and i am too. i understand you had her longer and you loved her longer. but please don’t come between us. i don’t want to lose my best friend.” and i realized i should stop. maybe i should distance myself and maybe my feelings will go away. but if i could never do that. and someone will finally save me from this one sided love. and i hope they would soon.

until then, i'll drink my coffee

eat my pie

pretend that we are more than friends

then of course i'll let you break my heart again

another day of scrolling through social media, ignoring your texts and posts. i can’t stand seeing you with him. i don’t understand, i’ve seen you during other relationships but why is it that my feelings decided to get the best of me. asahi texts me wondering why don’t i hang out with you and him anymore. but when i do, it’s not fair. because i pretend that we are more than friends. every time i close my eyes i see you. i see you smiling at me like you smile at asahi. all my dreams are about you. how can you not see it? how can you not see i’m in love with you? i tried going to my local cafe, i tried the coffee and pie. but nothing can compare like yours. was it that i can feel your love? or was it something that sweet? or was it nothing. nevertheless, i’ll let you break my heart like i always let you. this time maybe someone will be there like i always for you and hopefully they will see me.

i'm just tryna understand

what i am to you

more than songs, we've exchanged

midnight calls

sunset views

we always hung out. all the time. so why did that change? i was always trying to make sense of our times together. was it because we were friends since childhood? because we were always together that you are afraid to lose our friendship? at one point i thought we were dating. we spent all our time together, held hands, kissed my cheek. just for it to be your love language. what about the time you called me at 12 in the morning, sobbing because you got into a argument with asahi. it was the first time we talked after asahi confronted me with my feelings. you said, “jaehyuk, why don’t we hang out anymore? you don’t have time for us. i’m pathetic calling you at 12 in the morning about my boyfriend and my problems. when i should be asking you how you’re feeling. is that why you won’t hang out with me?” i realized i put so much time and thought into you i never thought what i would say if someone asked me how i am, “oh yeah i’m in love with y/n!” “i asked if you wanted pizza…” but i simply said, “i’ve been busy with work. im trying to save up.” “jaehyuk?” “yes?” “do you want to hang out?” “yes.” i should have debated the pros and cons. there were more cons than pros, but ultimately i decided i would go. maybe something will change. but nothing did.

promise i don't mean to cry

but i get overwhelmed and confused

if only you knew

what i felt like

when we finally hung out, i was surprised to not to see asahi. “asahi decided maybe we should just hang out. just us two, maybe talk things out and catch up.” asahi knew about my feelings and wanted me to say something before it got out of hand but i would never betray my friend like that. asahi, after all will always share something with me, our feelings for the same person but will never feel this one sided love like i do. “oh okay.” i replied with a timid smile. “how are you, jaehyuk?” we drove out to our favorite spot, to watch the sunset. if i had to choose something i loved more than you, it would be the sunset. it was as beautiful as you, maybe even more. i watched as the sunset changed and i was crying. “jaehyuk!? why are you crying? is everything alright?” you panicked. i just wiped my tears. “im just overwhelmed and confused about something. and i really needed this sunset to tell me what i should do.” you nodded as you grabbed my hand, “im always here if you need something.” but i wished you said, “i see you.” sometimes i wished you were in my shoes. i know its terrible and i shouldn’t wish that upon anyone. but i wished you knew how horrible it is to be the second choice. how terrible it is to fall in love with someone you will never have, someone who will never want you. i wish someone will love me like i always wanted to be loved but until then i’ll let you break my heart until you realize it.

one day

i will stop falling in love with you

some day

someone will like me like i like you

“asahi.” “yes?” he came over after a while of not hanging out. “i didn’t confess. i didn’t confess my feelings.” “why not?” he asked. why was he so understanding about this? he should be mad and furious and upset about this. about his friend being in love with his girlfriend. but instead he was so calm and understanding. it infuriated me. i don’t understand. “why are you so understanding about this, asahi?” it took him a while to respond. he was thinking as we sat in silence. “i guess because we both love her. in this relationship, one will be loved and one will not. if she choose you, i would understand but if she choose me, you would understand. i just want her to think about her choices. so we know she chose the right one.” he smiled at me. “im sorry.” i said as my tears rolled down my cheeks. “why are you sorry?” asahi asked as he shook his head. “i’m sorry for falling in love with y/n.” i sighed out as i looked at the floor. “don’t be sorry. you had her for longer, knew her for longer. it was bound to happen. i should be the one that sorry.” he confessed. “don’t be sorry. you’re the one that is making her happy. she’s so happy and in love with you. you’re the one she wants to be with.” i knew asahi felt relieved when i said that, you can see it. i would too. i can see asahi loved you, he may have loved you more than i did.

until then, i'll drink my coffee

eat my pie

pretend that we are more than friends

then of course i'll let you break my heart again

asahi and i started hanging out more after our talk. i guess we both knew who you were going to choose. he brought over your famous pie and coffee. “i thought you might want some. i went over to her place before i came her.” he said as he held the packaged goods. i smiled, i’ll always need your coffee and pie. “she asked for you. she asked how you were. she said you were off lately.” he said as he put the coffee down. “i guess because my feelings are stronger and i don’t know what to do.” i opened the bag and pulled out the piece of pie. it had a note, scribbled on it said, “hope you’re doing okay, jaehyuk! :)” i smiled. “if i can ask, when did you fall in love with y/n?” asahi asked, i was shocked and confused. why would he ask that? i couldn’t believe what i heard. “come again?” i shook my head as i turned around to look at him. “when did you fall in love with y/n?” he sat down on the couch. “why are you asking that? isn’t that kinda of weird?” “jaehyuk, i know you’re waiting for someone to save you from this loneliness. you want someone to be there for you, to love you.” he said in a soft voice. “how do you know?” “because i felt the same for a long time. i didn’t know if i’ll ever be loved. i was afraid but then i found y/n. and suddenly i was loved.” and i knew right there, i would never confess. how can i do that to someone how they felt the same loneliness and sadness i felt. to take someone they loved to be loved. “i guess i loved her since we were small. i didn’t know what love was or how it felt. i would ask my parents how loved felt like. they said i was too young to understand. i never knew i loved her until a couple years ago. she wasn’t feeling the best. mentally, she was extremely depressed. it was her first real relationship. she had fallen in love too quickly. so when her boyfriend broke up with her, she couldn’t handle it. it made me upset. i lost my friend for months. she wasn’t the same a for a long time. until one day, we went out to see the sunset. and we talked until we saw the sunrise and she asked me, ‘jaehyuk, do you feel anything about this?’ she was asking about how she changed. i said ‘i feel sad and scared that i’m losing my best friend. one day you were here and the next you’re not.’ she grabbed my hand and replied, ‘i’ll get better, so you can too.’ and i never thought those words would make me fall in love with her.”

some day

one day

i will stop falling in love with you

until i do

i’ll be thinking of you

let you break my heart again

today i woke up, feeling a bit better than yesterday. i guess i dreamed about you again. we started hanging out again. asahi, you, and i. my feelings were still there but i tried my best to erase them. but they’re were always going to be there. maybe one day, they’ll get smaller and smaller and i’ll finally be glad they are. i had some of your coffee and pie. this time i didn’t feel as sick. watching you and asahi felt a bit disheartening. knowing his feelings, my feelings, and your feelings. i’ll just smile and accept them. “jaehyuk! come to take a picture with us!” you shouted as you signaled me to come over. i walked over and took your phone. “what are you doing?” you questioned. “i’ll take photos of you guys.” i said as centered your phone. you and asahi were having fun decided which poses to do. while taking photos i started thinking about my feelings. i didn’t know either i should hate or love these feelings. i hated them for many reasons, i couldn’t look at anyone the way i looked at you, i couldn’t feel the same, i couldn’t even love the same. but these reasons gave me so much love, i woke up everyday to think about you, see you, love you. my feelings made me realize i can love and i will be loved. because if i loved you, then i am capable of making someone fall in love with me. you and asahi kissed for the last photo. my heart hurts but it always did. “jaehyuk? are you okay?” asahi waved at me. “oh yeah! just a bit sick.” i responded. “oh poor boy! come and sit down,” you patted on the seat next to you. “i’ll be back, i’ll go get water.” asahi said as he looked at me. the look meant, this is your chance to confess. i inhaled and started “I’m in…” but i stopped. “you’re in what?” you looked at me with a confused face. “i’m in love with your coffee and pie.” i spoke quickly. you slowly grinned. “i knew it. everyone falls in love with my pie. but i never guessed my coffee would.” i realized i would never say my feelings for many reasons. it dawned upon me that you may have wanted me to love you. you may have wanted me to say my feelings about you and probably would say yours back. but you loved asahi and asahi loved you. who am i to break that? if you loved me, you would have told me before loving someone else. some day, someone will see me and see all this love i have to offer. they will love me like i loved you. one day, i’ll confess my old feelings to you and you’ll act surprised because you already knew i was in love with you. today, i’ll stop falling in love with you. until i do, i’ll be thinking of you. and tomorrow, i’ll let you break my heart again. like i always do.

#fanfic #treasure yg #treasure imagines #treasur yg imagin #angst #treasure angst #yoon jaehyuk #treasure jaehyuk #asahi hamada #treasure asahi #treasure 12 #imagines #music

24 notes · View notes

always-stay-in-arms-reach · 2 years

Text

Happy ARMS’ Birthday!

(Apparently people on Twitter have been calling it ARM5... love the creativity of this fandom...)

I’ll admit I’ve taken longer to get to this than intended, but better late than never; Here are some things I’d LOVE to see in a potential sequel!

1.) Story Mode - Extensive Character Info

I think most if not all of the fandom can agree we need a proper story mode -- or at least SOME way to know more about the fighters! Five years into the games’ life, and we have little to no information on most agents’ families, upbringings, or even their real names! Even that aside, the Grand Prix was fun but definitely got too repetitive and unfulfilling after sometime. There was no information to see or new perspectives to witness no matter who you played aside from the unique gallery art additions at the end of each route. Show us some more of this great cast and great world!

Remember when the Twitter used to give us lore too? I’d love to see them pick that back up as well.

(We could still get this in a potential graphic novel... It isn’t too late to pursue it again... please nintendo...)

2.) Diverse Cast

The game has a pretty interesting roster as is, but for a game that’s all about an international cast, there’s a LOT of cultures and heritages left out of it’s representation. It’s pretty sad, especially when compared to other games I’ve been into that do have more diverse casts. Take a look:

Apex Legends:

VALORANT:

Overwatch (eh, I stopped playing years ago, but it fits the point I’m making here):

Compared to ARMS:

(And thank you to Google for all these images!)

ARMS not only has the smaller cast, but the least amount of variety when it comes to agents from other continents and who speak other languages. If I’m not mistaken, there’s no characters from polynesia or africa or the middle east, for starters. and coyle, max brass, springtron, spring man, ribbon girl, and byte and barq (im assuming) make up nearly half the cast of exclusively english-speakers!

what about the other beautiful languages in our world? korean? thai? yoruba? filipino? portuguese? igbo? just to list a few that are missing among the many more! Would love to see a far more diverse cast in the future, even if it’s just adding onto the pre-existing characters!

3.) Lyrical OST

The OST is absolutely bomb as is, but what about at least one lyrical song? (With more than 1-2 words in it, I mean! 2+ minutes of “Woah,” and, “Na na na,” sung over and over doesn’t count!) I was surprised they didn’t do at least one considering Ribbon Girl is an idol and her voice actress is a singer who does both original work and covers pretty frequently. Would love to hear her voice more.

4.) Skins/Alternate Outfits

We do have alternate recolors of base outfits, but we need actual skins! I would love to see the fighters in casualwear, or some of the outfits from official art incorporated into the game!

That’s all from me for today! Happy ARMSversary and here’s to a new age of ARMS announced soon (hopefully)!

#mod kc #nintendo arms #nintendo switch #arms game

11 notes · View notes

dirty-urie · 2 years

Text

Experience

Chapter 4

2.6k words

Warnings: masturbation, slight anxiety

You miss Brendon as soon as he leaves, but he’s been adamant that your relationship can’t affect your career, so you don’t even text him before settling down behind your piano to work.

You play everything you’ve written so far, pounding the keys of your piano in anger. Nothing sounds right. You rip out your notebook pages, crumpling them up and tossing them unsuccessfully into the trash bin.

He calls you at around one, and you immediately answer, welcoming the break. “Hey, baby. What are you up to?” You ask.

“Video games,” he admits, laughing. “What are you doing?”

“Working on the song for that TV show I told you about. It’s… slow going,” you groan in frustration.

“I’m sorry, love. I wish I could help.”

“…Maybe you can,” you say hopefully. “Can I come over tonight? I can’t tell you much about the show, but maybe you can provide words of encouragement.”

“Of course, darling. And at the very least I’ll be there to provide some stress relief,” he says suggestively.

You laugh. “Is this your horny brain?” you ask.

“Uh yeah.”

“Oh, is my boy thinking about getting off next to his girlfriend?”

Brendon whimpers. “…maybe.”

“Mmm, I’m thinking about it too, B.”

Brendon makes another turned-on noise. “Well first, I’ll help you with your song. But then we can be nasty.”

•••

“Have you tried the same thing, but in a minor key?” Brendon asks, playing it for you.

You bang your head against his shoulder. “I did. It didn’t work thematically.”

He brings his arm around to rest on your lower back soothingly. “What if you tried ascending notes instead here?” He offers, pointing to your notebook. “Then the music reaches a climax of sorts before the theme sequence of the show ends.” You play his new version while he sings your rough lyrics, and you both cringe. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound right with the lyrics,” he concedes.

“I can always change the lyrics, but still. It’s not right. Maybe doing this the old-fashioned way is messing me up,” you sigh. “I’ll fiddle around on Logic tomorrow.”

“I can help with that too!” Brendon says excitedly.

You kiss his cheek before sliding off the piano bench. “You’re the best, B. Thank you for your help.”

“No problem! It’s nice to have something to actually work on. Now, you seem to need stress relief.” He wiggles his eyebrows, and you think he’ll ask to make out, but he takes you by surprise by asking, “You wanna jump in the pool?”

“I do!”

•••

Brendon wolf-whistles as you walk into his backyard in a bikini.

“Was this a ruse to see me scantily clad?” You ask playfully.

“No! Saltwater and sunshine are great ways to relieve tension, and you need that. Seeing you scantily clad is just a fun bonus.”

You giggle before jumping into his pool. He follows right behind, and you emerge just in time to see him pop up from the water. He flicks the water from his hair, and you swim towards him. “Is it bad that I really want to kiss you right now?”

“Why would that be bad?” He asks.

“I feel like we should do more than kiss all the time,” you say, wrapping your legs around him. “We’re out in the sunshine, and all I want to do is drag you back inside”

“We don’t have to kiss if you don’t want,” Brendon makes sure you know.

“No, I do want to kiss you. I just feel bad doing it so often,” you clarify.

Brendon shrugs. “The honeymoon phase will end, and we’ll want to do lots of things besides kiss, so for now, I think we should embrace this,” he says, closing the gap between your lips.

You kiss him greedily. “What if this doesn’t pass?”

“Maybe it won’t,” he pants. “I certainly won’t complain.”

You bring your hand between your bodies to stroke down his muscled stomach. “Me neither,” you decide. “Can we go rinse off and then get in your bed?”

“Hell yeah.”

•••

You take longer in the shower than Brendon, so he’s already waiting in his bed in sweatpants. He smiles when he sees you. “Hey, pretty girl,” he coos.

“Hi, B,” you say, snuggling up next to him.

Brendon puts an arm around you. “You nervous?”

“A little. But mostly excited.”

“That’s good. How do you want to do this?”

“Um. I guess we’ll kiss. And then you can take off your pants.”

Brendon laughs. “Good plan, babe. Do you want me to cover myself with a blanket or something?”

“Yes please. But, uh, if you don’t mind, I’d like to… look first. Just out of curiosity.”

“That’s fine,” Brendon giggles.

“Thanks, B,” you giggle back, pouncing on him.

He kisses your neck, and you shiver. “Can you touch my boobs again?” You ask.

Brendon moves his hands from your lower back up to your breasts. He circles your nipples slowly. “Is that okay?”

“Perfect,” you groan, grinding on his stomach.

You kiss him, hungry for his lips and tongue on yours. Brendon is more tentative than usual, letting you take the lead, and you appreciate it. “I can feel you,” you tell him.

Brendon pulls away, panicked. “I’m sorry, love. We can switch positions?”

“No, I just meant, do you want to… start?”

“Oh! Sure, I’m ready if you’re ready.”

You inhale shakily. “I’m ready. It’s okay if I’m nervous, right?”

“Of course, but it’s also okay if you don’t want to do this.”

“No, I do! I really do! I promise. I’m excited,” you reassure him honestly. You roll off him, leaving a generous amount of space between your bodies.

Brendon leans across to kiss your cheek before giving you space again. “Can I take my pants off?”

You nod. “Go ahead.”

Brendon hooks his fingers under the waistband of his pants and slides them down nervously. For some reason, maybe respect, maybe anxiety, you don’t let yourself look until his pants are fully down. And even when you do look, you fight the urge to study him. You’ve seen penises before, of course, in passing, in art, in textbooks, and in diagrams back in school. But never aroused and never so up close and personal. This isn’t just any old penis; this is your penis. You stifle a giggle at the thought.

“You’re not disappointed?” He asks lightheartedly, but his tone has an edge of insecurity.

You lean forward to kiss his cheek, still leaving a generous amount of space between your bodies. “Brendon, no, of course not. You’re beautiful, baby. I could never be disappointed by a part of your body.”

“That’s sweet of you, y/n. Thank you. That being said, you still want me to cover up?”

You think for a second. “Yes please. If you don’t mind. I just think I’d feel more comfortable,” you explain, and he immediately pulls the blanket over his hips. You can still see the outline of his erection pushing up against the fabric, but now that you’ve seen it for real, it’s less intimidating. For the first time, your arousal outweighs your nerves and discomfort.

“Of course, honey. I’ve probably said it a thousand times, but your comfort is the most important thing to me,” Brendon says. His hand disappears under the blanket, and you stare at him intently, but you don’t think his hand is moving. He makes a funny face. “I'm not exactly used to being watched like this. I’m sorry,” he laughs.

You smile encouragingly. “Now who’s feeling awkward?” You tease. You soften your face and voice. “It’s okay, Brendon. I know this is kind of weird. And you don’t have to do this. You can just go ‘take a shower’ alone to take care of that,” you gesture to his erection, “and I’ll just watch a man masturbate in a porno or something,” you reassure, then you cringe at the thought. “Well, no, I don’t want to watch a slimy stranger get off; I want to watch my boyfriend get off in all his sexy glory,” you correct, and Brendon smiles warmly at the mention of the word boyfriend. “But, that being said, you’ve been incredible at making me feel comfortable and safe, so now it’s my turn to tell you that you’re completely in control, and we can stop at any time.”

“And I thought you’d be the one freaking out,” Brendon chuckles quietly.

Your eyes widen. “You’re freaking out?” You ask, concerned.

“No, darling girl, definitely not. I’m just impressed with how well you’re handling this,” he praises and you relax.

“Oh, good. Thank you, Brendon.” You kiss his cheek again, sliding slightly closer to him in the process. You still maintain a slight cushion of space between your two bodies, but you no longer avoid him as if he’ll shock you. The slight increase in intimacy actually relaxes you more; it somewhat minimizes the strangeness of the situation. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable?” You ask.

Brendon’s face gets red. “Oh um, yeah, actually. I normally sleep on the other side of the bed, so my lube is in the nightstand next to you, and I would appreciate it if you could hand it to me. If you don’t mind.”

“Of course, B.” You say, reaching over to rummage through the drawer of his nightstand. You have to fight off juvenile embarrassment as you spot a box of condoms and a few (clean, thankfully) clean-up rags before you finally grab the bottle and hand it to Brendon. “Wow, this bottle is almost empty, you slutty, slutty man,” you tease.

“Uh, that’s your fault, pretty girl,” he retorts, and you bite your lip bashfully. “Too much information?” He checks, worried about crossing the line.

You shrug. “Maybe, but your dick is out, so it would be strange for that to scare me off,” you giggle. “Plus, I like the thought of affecting you like that. Even though I feel bad that I’m not ready to take care of you yet.”

“You already know that I don’t mind going at whatever pace makes you the most comfortable at all. Plus it’s not like masturbating is exactly a chore,” he points out.

“That’s true,” you agree. “Well, I’d imagine that’s true at least,” you amend. “Now, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Oh, well, yeah actually. I think I’d feel better if you would touch me,” he says, and he sees panic cross your face. “No, no, not like that. I don’t want you to touch my- I mean, I don’t want you to help get me off; you know I wouldn’t ask for that. As long as you’re comfortable, I’d just want you to pet my hair or something. I think that would make me feel less like a display and more like your lover.”

You relax and angle your body towards him more, scratching his scalp. “Oh, yes, I’m okay with this,” you assure, and Brendon puts a little lube on his hand before bringing it back under the blanket. You see the motion of his hand as he strokes himself back to hardness and you hear the slick sound of him moving noisily over himself. His jaw goes slack and his breathing gets heavier as he pleasures himself. Arousal immediately burns low in your stomach as you watch him. You have to bury your face in his chest for a moment to catch your breath.

“You good, honey?” He asks, the pace of his strokes slowing down.

“I’m great,” you whine against his skin. “Just,” you fumble for the words, “this is turning me on more than I expected,” you admit. “I like to see you feeling good.”

Brendon groans deeply, and you look up to see his face screwed up in pleasure. “God, that’s so hot, pretty girl,” he gasps, and you whine again in frustration. Brendon bites his lip, looking up at you. “Aww is my best girl feeling needy?”

You nod, flipping onto your stomach to grind against his bed. “Sorry, Brendon,” you pant.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I asked you to get off for me, and now I’m not even watching you anymore,” you laugh breathlessly.

“As long as you feel good, I’m perfectly happy. Like I said, masturbating is hardly a sacrifice, and I’m definitely enjoying doing it next to the woman I love,” he says happily.

You kiss up his neck, snuggling closer against him. “That’s sweet of you, B.”

Brendon groans at your lips against his sensitive neck. “It’s the truth, sweet girl. I love having you here. Slight awkwardness and all.”

“Oh, Brendon, I love having you here too. Especially getting to watch and hear you. And you make me feel so loved and safe,” you tell him, shifting to rub against his hip. You move frantically now, even though you know you won’t be able to come.

You turn your head to watch him work, still resting your head on his chest. His movements stutter and still. You turn back to look at his face. “What’s wrong?” Brendon’s eyes are closed and furrowed together, and he’s biting his lip hard. “Brendon, shit, are you in pain?” You ask.

He shakes his head, breathing quickly through his nose. You give him a chance to compose himself without asking any more questions. “No, sweet girl, don’t worry. I,” he starts before taking a deep breath. “I need to come,” he chokes out, and you gasp as you make out his hand under the blanket gripping the base of his cock.

“Oh.”

Brendon nods, body still completely tense. “Yeah. How do you want me to come? I can leave if that would make you more comfortable,” he offers. You furrow your eyebrows, overwhelmed by the options. “Honey, you know I never want to pressure you, but I’m going to need you to decide quickly,” he groans, grimacing.

“I don’t want you to leave,” you blurt quickly. “But I don’t want you to have to worry about cleaning everything up,” you cringe.

Brendon laughs to himself, a little embarrassed. “I’ll have to wash these sheets anyway. I��m leaking like crazy for you.”

You whine, rolling your hips forward against him. “I wanna see your face when you come, Brendon. Please. Come for me,” you beg.

“Of course, y/n,” he moans before his mouth falls as bliss overtakes his body. He shakes before his body goes limp, and a content smile plays across his lips. You bury your face in a pillow, trying to temper your frustration while he comes down. You know you need to come; you just don’t know how to get there.

He rubs your back with his clean hand. “Are you okay? Was that too much for you?”

You shake your head. “I’m not upset.” You roll onto your back, pawing between your thighs helplessly. “Just,” you blush, “horny. Incredibly horny.”

“Oh honey, I’m sorry. I know that’s hard,” he soothes.

“Is this the universe punishing me for teasing you?” You lament.

“That’s surely not it because you haven’t been teasing me. That implies something intentional and malicious. You’re just existing, being sexy,” Brendon points out. “Plus you’ve never been able to come. Even before you met me.”

“In all fairness, I had little motivation to try before I met you, but yes, that’s true,” you sigh. “You should go shower and clean up, B. I’ll put new sheets on your bed.”

#brendon urie fanfiction #brendon urie smut #my work #brendon urie imagine

11 notes · View notes

ajoytobeheld · 6 months

Text

Studio news

May 12th, 2009

Only 5 more days left in the studio before we head back to the UK, and I realise any information on how the actual recording is going, has been pretty sparse. So I’ll endeavor to fill in some gaps here: It’s going great, thanks.

Currently I am sat in the ‘lounge’ area as Tom bashes through some glock overdubs. I’ll end up playing them live, but realise my limitations, and that Tom could nail them in a fraction of the time that I would take, so he gets to sweat in the recording booth for a little longer.

We’ve been in very good hands here. John Goodmanson obviously steering us, but we’ve also been in the capable palms of Eric of The Long Winters, Michael of Telekinesis and Jackson of BOAT. Everyone is an absolute pleasure to work with, and their keenness to ensure our happiness and enjoyment of being here has left me feeling like a diva at times. That and the having an unlimited supply of vitamin water.

We’re at the point now where all the drums/bass/guitars are done. Myself, Haz and Aleks are filling in our bits, and there’s still some ambient and noise tracks to do, as well as some percussion and what not, but it seems everyone’s feeling good about getting things done in the time we have. Once we’ve finished here, we reconvene in Mid-Wales in Mid-June to mix the record, and inevitably finish off some final vocals and violin parts. And the studio we’ll be mxing at in Wales has the most amazing sounding recording room, so we’ll probably use that for some ambience and what not.

have folk coming in to play Horns/Cello/Double bass/Saxophone as well as some guest vocals, which are all things that haven’t happened on a Los Campesinos! record before. I’ll hopefully have some photos of that to show.

Here are a couple of song titles for you: This Is A Flag. There Is No Wind. Straight In At 101

I wish I could go into more details about the songs/song titles/whatevs, but I fear if I divulge too much now, there will be little to discuss by the time the record is nearing release. I might do a post on ‘lyrical themes’ sometime soon, if I deem it sensible. We’ll see.

Oh, also, there was a dog got on the roof:

#2009 #gareth!blog #lc!blog #lc!image

0 notes

endcryst4l · 3 years

Text

fairy tale

the sequel to favorite galaxies! the song that is referenced later on and is the title is fairy tale by homemade haircuts :] (read the third part here)

After multiple pleads of Tommy, Wilbur and even Phil, Techno finally built up enough courage to ask you to come over again.

“I did it, (Y/N)’s coming over for dinner tonight.” Techno told his family when he came downstairs from his room. Phil and Wilbur cheered, Tommy began jumping up and down. Techno chuckled, “they said they were going to bring dessert as well, but needed to know whether you guys preferred vanilla or chocolate cake.”

“Aw they don't need to do that.” Phil said before Techno cut him off, “That’s what I said as well but I wasn’t able to change their mind.”

“Chocolate?” Wilbur suggested and they all nodded, Techno off to his room again to talk with you.

“Hey (Y/N)?” he said as he unmuted himself in the discord call. “Shit!” you yelped, “Sorry, you scared me.” Techno laughed, “Sorry, sorry. They said chocolate. They’re all really excited to see you again, especially Tommy.” “I’m really excited to see them too. How have they been doing?” you asked. Techno smiled, “good! Wilbur hasn’t stopped asking to meet you and neither has Tommy. He’s literally been asking about you multiple times a day.” You aww’ed and Techno smiled, excited to see you again. “That’s so sweet. I’m really excited to meet Wilbur and see Tommy again, he’ll love the dessert I’m bringing.”

“What are you making?” Techno asked. “Ahhh that my dear is a secret. Now I must go to work on it.” you said and Techno huffed, making you laugh. “Hey I’ll be there tonight, okay? Don’t get too sad, bye Tech!” “I’ll try, bye (Y/N).”

You smiled to yourself as you stood up to make chocolate cupcakes with galaxy frosting.

After finishing piping the cupcakes, you smiled. They looked pretty good, you couldn’t wait to see Tommy’s reaction to them.

Your hand reached to knock on the door when it suddenly opened to reveal Techno with Tommy in his arms. “(Y/N)!” the toddler yelled excitedly as he reached for you. “Tommy!” you exclaimed, hugging him and shooting Techno a smile. “How have you been, big guy?” you asked Tommy. “Good! I made more drawings today.” he told you. “All of which are galaxies by the way.” Techno added, gesturing for you to come inside. “Oh really? Show me!” you said to Tommy and he nodded, climbing out of your arms when you reached the living room.

“Hey (Y/N)! It’s good to see you again.” Phil said when he saw you. “Thanks for letting me come over again.” you smiled and you turned to Wilbur, “nice to meet you, I’m (Y/N).” Wilbur smiled, “Oh trust me, I know. Neither of my brothers have shut up about you. Nice to meet you too, I’m Wilbur.”

You laughed and turned to look at Techno, whose face was now a deep red. “Wilbur I’m going to ki-” he began before Tommy interrupted him. “Look!” he said and he held up one of his drawings. You quickly shot Techno a wink before complimenting Tommy on his drawings, also telling him some new facts you came across online.

Techno’s eyes widened, his face an even deeper shade of red. He stood there frozen for a split second before he heard a small snicker of Wilbur. That asshole. Phil smacked his oldest son, making Techno snort. Deserved.

“So what did you make for dessert (Y/N)?” Phil asked. “That’s a surprise. Speaking of, is there anywhere I can put it?” you answered and he nodded, getting up to lead you to the kitchen. “You really can’t show me?” He tried again and you chuckled, “okay then, but don’t tell them anything.”

He zipped his mouth shut and you grabbed the container from your bag, opening the lid to reveal the cupcakes. “Holy shit (Y/N) these look great! Oh my god Tommy will love these.” he said. “Aw thank you, I really hope so.” you said as he got out some ingredients so the container would fit. “Is there any way I can help with dinner?” You offered but he firmly denied again, calling out for Wilbur.

“Yes father?” he said when entering the kitchen. “You’re helping me with dinner.” Phil answered and Wilbur saluted him. You wondered how the three brothers could be this different. “So (Y/N), what did you make for dessert?” Wilbur asked, making you laugh. Different yet all the same. “All of your curiosity is making it very hard but I’m not telling you.”

Wilbur pouted at you and you shook your head no, you weren’t going to slip up now.

You felt someone tap against your leg and you looked down to see Tommy. “Hey Tommy, what’s up?” you asked as you crouched to face him. He leaned in to whisper, “Techno told me to come save you.” You giggled and followed Tommy back to Techno, who was sitting on the couch. He smiled when he saw you walking to him, he missed you already. “What’s up?” you asked, sitting next to him. Tommy quickly crawled in your lap, melting the boy in front of you.

“I- uhm I listened to the playlist you sent me and I really liked it.” he told you and your eyes lit up, “really? What song was your favorite?” “I think it was called Fairy Tale? The band name was something with haircuts in it I believe.”

You felt your stomach explode with butterflies at the realization he was talking about the love song that reminded you of him. Thoughts were now flooding your mind, about if he thought of you when listening to the song, did he even realize what the lyrics were, did he just liked the song with no further intention, does he like y- “(Y/N?)” Techno suddenly said, snapping you back to the conversation. “Hmm? Oh- Fairy Tale! That’s a good song, one of my favorites as well actually.” you answered blushing. Techno grinned and took a glance at Tommy, seeing him nearly asleep. His hand reached to poke the younger awake but you swatted his hand away. Techno raised his eyebrow at you, to which you smiled and calmly told Tommy to stay awake for a little bit longer. In response Tommy huffed and cuddled closer, which was a bad idea on his part. Techno began tickling him, earning loud laughter and screams from Tommy.

Phil and Wilbur looked at each other at the same time, then quickly poking their heads out of the kitchen to see what was causing the disturbance. Wilbur sighed in relief at the sight of the three of you laughing, going back to the kitchen just as quick leaving Phil who stayed put a little longer. He couldn't stop the massive smile from spreading to his face and the warm feeling rising. Wilbur called out for Phil who, with one last glance, returned to the kitchen

Once Tommy calmed down from his hysteria Techno put on some Avatar, also slowly scooting closer to you. Upon noticing you smiled softly and put your arm lightly around his shoulders. Techno’s face heated up, not really used to this closeness. He could say he didn’t like it but he wasn’t really the one for lying.

After one episode Wilbur started setting the table, quickly eyeing the three of you, a mixture of shock and pride on his face. He didn’t know how his brother managed it, but he was impressed. “Dinner’s nearly ready.” he told them, getting nods in response. Tommy had fallen asleep after all, so you attempted to wake him up. Attempted being the key word, he was still half asleep when you took a seat at the dinner table. “Tommy, you know you can’t have dessert without eating dinner right?” Phil told him and Tommy quickly woke up, climbing off your lap to his own chair. The two other brothers and you were laughing but Phil quickly shushed all of you and told you what was for dinner, “Roast veggies, roast potatoes and steak!”

He gave everyone their portions, everyone also immediately digging in. You complimented him, it was really good. Phil thanked you, soon the room filled with conversation and laughs.

“Dessert time!!” Tommy exclaimed excitedly as everyone finished up their dinner and cleared off the table. You chuckled and walked to the kitchen with Phil. While he was boiling the water and grabbing the cups and plates, you took the container from the fridge and started placing them on little plates.

“Surprise!” Phil said as you two walked out of the kitchen, both holding a tray. All of the boys went quiet, excited and curious. You put your tray down, earning wow’s from Techno, Wilbur and Tommy. “Tech! Look, they’re like galaxies!” Tommy said and Techno laughed, “yeah they are. They look great (Y/N).” You smiled, really happy that Tommy recognized them. “You‘ve done a great job, these look incredible.” Wilbur said and you thanked him while handing out the plates with the cupcakes. Phil filled up the tea cups and soon new conversation was flowing. Wilbur asked a few questions, curious about the person his brother was in love with. You answered all of them happily, Techno butting in when the questions were school related.

It didn't take long before more embarrassing childhood stories were told, all of you laughing, Techno tallying the times Wilbur embarrassed him in his head for later payback. Tommy was telling you about how he told his best friend Tubbo about galaxies as well and that he loved them too. You tried not to physically melt and told him to invite him over so you could draw together. Tommy got so excited he jumped off his chair and started running around the house, the remaining at the table laughing again. You took a glance at the clock, caught off guard by the way time had flown by.

“I hate to be that person but I’m afraid I have to get going.” you said, getting understanding nods from everyone. Tommy abruptly stopped and dramatically huffed. He dragged himself back to his chair and sat down with a big pout. “Hey don’t worry bud, I’m sure (Y/N) will be back soon.” Phil said to him, making him look at you hopefully. “Yeah I will! Don’t worry about it too much, okay big man?” you smiled and he nodded, getting up and giving you a hug. Phil glanced at Techno, watching his expression change to pure and absolute adoration. It made Phil happy, even if he never knew what it truly felt like. The happy sparkles that Techno’s eyes held whenever you were there were enough.

Wilbur and Techno cleaned up the table, you had offered to help but your attempts were quickly shut down. You glared at the pair when they walked away, making Phil laugh. Your gaze shifted to Phil, now also glaring at him. He only laughed harder, making Tommy giggle as well. You tried your hardest not to break but when Tommy began laughing as well you broke and laughed along with them.

“Are you going to ask them out?” Wilbur asked Techno, catching the latter off guard. “What? Ask them out? Like to be my partner?” Techno replied and Wilbur nodded. “I-I don’t know. That’s a big step. What if they don't like me and I ruin our friendship? What if they don't want to be friends anymore because they’ll think it’s- I’m weird? What if-” Techno rambled before Wilbur cut him off. “Dude. Do you need new glasses? You two look at each other like you are each other’s world and were literally cuddling on the couch earlier. You said they made a playlist for you right?”, Techno nodded, “well there you have your answer. Trust me, they feel the same.” He was still processing what Wilbur said when he heard your laugh and automatically smiled. Wilbur noticed and chuckled, “you’re so whipped for them, I can’t believe it. What happened with the ‘I’m independent I don’t need anyone ever’ Techno?”

Techno quickly smacked the back of Wilbur’s head before he could get more words out, making Wilbur laugh. Techno rolled his eyes, put away the dishes and walked back to the kitchen table. You smiled at him, getting up to grab your bag and jacket. Meanwhile Wilbur also came back from the kitchen, with your container in hand. “Oh thank you, I completely forgot about that,” you chuckled, “also thanks for letting me stay over again.” “No problem (Y/N), truly. Thank you for the cupcakes, they were really good.” Phil said, “and really pretty!” Tommy added and you giggled, thanking them and saying your goodbyes.

Techno walked with you to the door, thinking about what Wilbur had said in the kitchen. “Thank you for inviting me, it was a lot of fun.” you told him, interrupting his train of thoughts. “Of course, you’re welcome here any time. I think Tommy likes you more than he likes his own brothers.” he said and you laughed, “impossible. I’m sure he would love watching Avatar with you as well.” He shrugged, “I do prefer watching it with you though.”

Your cheeks flushed red and a smile crept up on your face. “Well, let’s watch more together soon then.” you said to which he quickly agreed to. He couldn’t wait to have your arm around him again. His cheeks heated up and he quickly looked down.

“I really do have to go though, my parents will kill me if I come home too late.” you said and he nodded, eyes still on the ground. You leaned in to kiss his cheek, just as he looked up to say goodbye. Noticing it on time, you quickly stopped, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. It didn’t help much, both of your faces now inches apart. His face held the same reaction, his heart racing. He thought back to what Phil and Wilbur had said and decided, fuck it, as he leaned in to close the gap and kiss you. You stiffened for a second, you’d silently hope this would happen but were still surprised. Techno noticed and quickly pulled back, apologizing profusely. You tried to tell him it was more than okay, you were just caught off guard but he kept cutting you off with apologies. You shook your head, leaning in again and kissing him. He finally shut up and kissed back, his hands now on your waist and yours on his cheeks.

Techno pulled back again, looking into your eyes. You raised your eyebrow, wondering why he all of sudden stopped. “I- uhm, well,” he stuttered, your hands dropped to his cheek and he sighed, it was now or never. “Do you- Would you want to be my partner?” he asked quietly. Your eyes widened, shock taking over your expression. Was this real? The boy you’ve been loving since you could remember felt the same? You were brought back to reality by his hands leaving your waist and his mouth opening to apologize. “Yes. Yes I’d love to.” you quickly said, making the biggest smile ever cross Techno’s face. “Really?” he asked and you nodded while laughing, feeling all giddy and happy. He engulfed you in his arms, giving you the biggest hug ever. The two of you stayed like that for a few moments, before Techno let you go making you frown. He chuckled, “I know dear, but I don’t want your parents to kill either of us.” “Yeah I guess you’re right. I’ll text you when I get home.” you said before giving him a quick kiss and turning around to walk away. “Bye (Y/N), be careful!” Techno said while waving. “I will!” you told him and waved back with a smile. Holy shit.

Techno closed the door and leaned against it. Did that really just happen? His heart and stomach were doing backflips. He smiled to himself, you were his partner now.

His smile hadn’t toned down when he walked back to the rest of his family, who were impatiently waiting on him. “And?” “So?” Phil and Wilbur said at the same time, making Techno laugh. “We- I- We’re together now.” he told them, earning the loudest cheers he’s ever heard. “Congratulations man! I’m proud of you.” Phil told him and Techno thanked him, sitting down on the couch with them. “Did you ask them?” Wilbur asked and Techno nodded. “Dude! Congrats. What happened?” He asked and Techno told them everything that happened.

Tommy, who was supposed to be asleep in his bed, came downstairs after hearing the cheering. “What’s going on?” he asked sleepily and Techno chuckled, “(Y/N) and I are dating.” he answered and the blonde nodded, “does that mean they’ll come over more?” he asked. “I think so, yeah.” Techno told him and Tommy nodded again, walking over to his family and sitting next to Techno. “C’mon, let’s go upstairs. You need to sleep and I need to check if (Y/N) is home safely.” Techo said to Tommy after picking him up and saying to goodnight to his dad and older brother. “Can I say goodnight to them?” Tommy asked and Techno nodded, taking him to his room. He started up his computer, happy to see a message from you. He quickly typed a response before video calling you and putting his headset on Tommy.

You answered the call almost right away, aww’ing when you saw Tommy with the big headset on. “Hey big man, shouldn’t you be sleeping?” you said and he nodded, “yes but I woke up because they were all being loud and then Techno was going to talk to you and I wanted to say goodnight.” Techno smiled softly, kind of bummed he couldn’t hear your replies. “Awe that’s not good. Next time you just punch Techno lightly and he’ll be quiet.” you said to Tommy, making him giggle mischievously. Techno raised his eyebrow at both of you, that didn’t seem good. “I will. Goodnight (Y/N)!” Tommy said while waving. “Goodnight! Sleep well and sweet dreams.” you smiled and waved back. “I’ll be right back.” Techno said into the headset as he put it down and went to put Tommy in his bed.

After a few minutes he was back, “hey love.” he said as he put on his headset. “Gosh!” you sighed, making Techno laugh. “Please give me an announcement next time, I think I just lost 10 years of my life.” you said, Techno only laughing harder. “I will, I will, sorry.” he smiled. The two of you talked all night, switching to your phones when it became too late. You fell asleep first, Techno chuckling when he heard your soft snores. “Goodnight, (Y/N).” he whispered, before falling asleep himself.

#mcyt x reader #technoblade x reader #technoblade x you #sbi x reader #sbi au #SBI #sbi fanfic #toddler tommyinnit #dadza minecraft #big brother wilbur

534 notes · View notes

lovely-ateez · 3 years

Text

Broken Strings~

ꕥPosted: 7/20/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, College!au, Rockstar!au

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Rockstar!Yunho

ꕥWord Count: 10k+

ꕥWarnings (please read all!!): Yunho’s ex is an absolute asshat, death threats towards both Yunho and reader, mention of knives used as weapons, San is a bisexual king (happy late pride month), unprotected pool sex/public sex (no one is around but I guess it still counts), masturbation (f), foul language, mentions of alcohol intake, reader is mentioned to have dark brown eyes several times which you can just ignore if you have different colored eyes ofc, mentions of a restraining order against an ex, please let me know if I missed something!!

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho @bobateastay @nevieatiny

ꕥA/N: The song lyrics are ones that I wrote myself specifically for this au and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous about posting it. I know there isn’t any tune or anything, but hopefully it sounds like a real song someone might sing. Also I’m not writing angst for a while after this holy shit I’ve been crying too much over this I’m emotional okay

“Date night! Date night! Date night!” I grabbed my boyfriend’s arm, bouncing on my toes.

Yunho raised a hand to cover his ear, scrunching his face, “Babe, I love you, but I think you’ve deafened me.”

I pouted at his tone and crossed my arms, “You’re such a grump.”

“Oh whatever.” He smiled, “You ready?”

I smiled at him and nodded.

Ever since his band, Sidekick Heart, began to pick up traction, he had less free time and our full-day dates once a week soon became date nights every few weeks. Most of his time was spent writing songs, producing them, and practicing endlessly. The fact that he had a tour coming up soon just meant he had even less spare time. I was happy for him, of course, but I couldn’t hide my disappointment that he was leaving.

In middle school, he and three of his friends formed a band for fun, which they kept with all throughout high school. They got good, really good and almost right after they graduated they were signed by a label. Now, three years later, they’d already released two albums and one EP and earned enough money to make a living, which was why Yunho dropped out of college a month ago. Since he had steady career path, he saw no reason to continue and decided to focus on music. He still visited me at college whenever he got the chance, but his visits were becoming more and more sporadic.

We started dating freshman year of college. We had our difficulties as most couples do, but everyday I thanked the stars for pairing us together. I met him on the first day of French class, a day I know I could never forget, no matter how how our future played out.

I sat my backpack on the table in front of me, looking around the empty classroom. I was ten minutes early, so I wasn’t surprised about the lack of students. It was a bit unlikely for me to be so early, but I wasn’t able to sleep the night before and so I had extra time to get ready. With nothing else to do, I took out my phone, reading some missed text messages.

I heard the door open and my head tilted upwards, meeting eyes with a fluffy-haired brunet. He shyly smiled at me and I returned the gesture. The man took a seat in the front row across from me, only a few chairs in between us. I found it cute that he liked to sit in the front of the classroom, too. Very few people did. He turned away from me to place his backpack on the floor and take out a few books. I took the opportunity to look at him. He was attractive, for sure. His short sleeved solid black shirt followed his movements, tattoos peaking through his top. The shirt itself tucked was into ripped jeans, his black shoes matching the outfit, along with various accoutrements. His look was uncommon for college students, most just wore sweatpants with with a casual shirt. I thanked myself for dressing nice that day.

I tilted my head to get a better look at his side profile. He was so handsome that I seemed to forget I was staring. I couldn’t help but get caught up in him, not realizing that I was no longer being subtle.

He spoke without moving to face me, “You’re pretty cute, too.”

“I-I what?” My eyes widened, realizing I’d been caught.

He turned, a charming smile on his face, “You aren’t exactly discreet.”

I took a breath, trying to form a coherent sentence, “Well...can you blame me?”

He pursed his lips, trying to hide a smile, “I appreciate the compliment. What’s your name?”

I hesitated before answering him, which brought a full smile to his face. He moved closer to me before holding out his hand for me to shake. I grabbed his hand and shook it, trying to keep my hands steady. His hand was soft, clearly he took care of himself.

“I’m Yunho.”

I smiled, observing the way he lit up as he turned my hand, placing a delicate kiss on my skin. I felt my face heat up and averted my eyes. Yunho chuckled as he released my hand. Both of us looked up at the sound of the door opening, a group of students entered, followed by a lady who I presumed to be the teacher.

Yunho looked at me, “Meet me after class?”

I nodded, biting my lip as I felt excitement build in my stomach, wanting nothing more than for class to end as soon as possible.

The instant the teacher ended her lecture she left with the rest of the students, who were talking among themselves. My eyes flickered to Yunho to find him looking back at me, his backpack now thrown over his shoulders.

“You have any classes after this?” He asked in a nonchalant manner. Later he confessed to me that he was far more nervous than he appeared, claiming that he fell in love with me at first sight.

I finished placing my notebook in my bag, zipping it up and putting the straps over my arms, “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ve got World Politics in ten minutes.”

“Aww damn. I was hoping we could grab some food.” He reached into his pants’ pocket, pulling out his phone, “Maybe I could get your number instead and we could meet up later?” He wasn’t pushy or demanding, simply asking.

I nodded quickly, “I’d like that, Yunho.”

He suddenly became more shy, the tips of his ears dusting a beautiful shade of pink, “I like the way you say my name.”

I giggled, trying to hide my own shyness. I took his phone and entered my number, really hoping that he would text me. As if he read my mind, he confirmed what I was thinking.

“I’ll text you,” He looked at me with sparkling eyes before shaking his head, like he was pulled back to reality, “Oh uh...you should probably get to class.“ He raised a hand, somewhat awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah I probably should. I’ll see you around?”

He smiled, “I’ll see ya.”

It wasn’t long before he texted me, and it made my heart flutter that he kept his word. A day later we met up, grabbing ice cream and getting to know each other. He was a dance major and had to practically beg his parents to let him pursue dance. In return they said he had to repay them with getting straight A’s. He had one younger brother who was possibly the biggest baseball fan to ever exist, he roomed with three men he’d been friends with since kindergarten, and he absolutely adored my brown eyes.

“They’re just beautiful.” Yunho gushed, “Both times I’ve seen you they just sparkle and shine like they’ve got their own little galaxies in them. I’ve never seen anyone with such genuine, kind eyes.”

I let out a girly laugh at the compliment and covered my mouth with a hand, “You’re really trying to flatter me, aren’t you?”

“Depends. Is it working?” He laughed as he propped his head on one of his hands, leaning closer to me in the booth we were sitting in. We’d finished our ice cream long ago, now shamelessly flirting and getting lost in each other.

“It might be.”

“Well I do mean it. I’m not only trying to flatter you.”

The ringing of his phone caught our attention. He smiled apologetically and reached for the device. He sighed, reading the contact name and looking back up at me.

“I’m sorry I’ve gotta take this. It’s one of my roommates and it’s entirely possible they’ve set the house on fire.”

I laughed, “It’s okay, go ahead.”

Yunho excused himself as he answered the call, walking outside. I took a look around the shop we were in, smiling at all the decorations when I noticed a woman sitting alone, eating ice cream and staring at me. Her eyes were such an ice blue that they made her intimidating, to say the least. I wasn’t too surprised, I’d dressed nice and all throughout the day I’d been getting looks. Taking it as a compliment I smiled at her and waited for Yunho to return.

“So good news,” He started as he sat back down in the booth, running a hand through his hair, which was way more attractive than it should’ve been, “They haven’t burnt down the apartment, but San—he’s one of my roommates—his car ran out of gas a few miles away from here so I’ve gotta go help him. Can I drive you back to your own apartment first?”

“Oh no, I don’t want to worry you.” I waved a hand, “I can have a friend pick me up.”

He nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with that, sure, but I’d rather drive you home, if that’s okay.”

I nodded, walking with him as he guided me out to his car. We had our first kiss when he dropped me off, leaving me with the promise of another date, and he delivered. Time and time again he proved he truly cared about me, which inevitably led to a relationship.

We heard a loud crashing in the basement of the house and Yunho let out a frustrated groan, “Oh god it’s happening again.”

He walked over to the basement door, opening it and sighing at the loud yells emitting from below.

“What is it this time?” Yunho shouted.

Wooyoung’s voice rung out, “San won’t let me use the controller!”

The man in front of me placed a hand over his eyes, over the situation entirely, “You’re still fighting over that game?”

“Crash Bandicoot waits for no man!”

“San let him have the controller or I’ll come down there and I’ll beat both of your asses!” Yunho shut the door, giving me a tired smile and walking back to me, “You’d think we would’ve outgrown this stage by now. I’d fire them both and hire a new bassist and drummer if I could.”

“Okay that’s an absolute lie, and you say that like you’re any better. I saw you arguing with Seonghwa over the last bag of chips yesterday.”

He pointed a finger at me, not trying to hide the smile on his face, “Okay that was absolutely valid. I bought those and they were mine.”

I smirked. “My point still stands.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, changing the subject, “How about after our date I sing you a couple of our new songs?” He leaned closer, his lips barely grazing my ear, “I wrote a few about you.”

I pulled back from him, feeling warmth spread in my chest. “Really? You did?”

Yunho wrapped an arm around my waist, “How could I not? You’re always my inspiration.”

I let out a string of incoherent gibberish which prompted the most adorable eye smiles from my boyfriend. I felt too honored to put my emotions into words.

“Go on.” Yunho motioned to the front door, “Grab your purse and head out to my car. I’ll let the guys know we’re going and I’ll meet you outside.”

I gave him a salute, “You got it cap’n!”

His eyes warmed, “God, I love you.”

“I know!” I teased before I grabbed my purse and skipped out of the house. The sun would be setting soon and I admired the several hues that were painted within the sky. I sat on the hood of his car, swinging my feet as I saw him walk out of the house.

“So where exactly are we going?” I tilted my head, looking forward to his response.

“Well I’ve got a couple ideas.” He held up his long fingers and counted off on them, “We could go bowling, or we could have a late night picnic, or maybe...” He moved closer, placing his hands on either side of me with a mischievous grin, “We could go swimming.”

My face lit up, “I haven’t been swimming in forever!”

“I know, that’s why I recommended it.” He laughed, “Let’s break into the swimming pool downtown. It’s definitely closed by now so we can be alone.”

I raised my brows at his words, a smile widening on my face, “Don’t we need to bring swimsuits, though?”

Yunho grinned at me and moved a hand to ruffle my hair, “Nope. We’re going without ‘em.” He lifted me off his car, “Hop in, babe.”

We approached the fence with our hands interlocked, a new message greeting us. A red and black sign with the words ‘No Trespassing’ was attached haphazardly to one of the metal wires looped through the fence surrounding the pool.

Yunho tsked, “Aw that’s cute. Like that’s gonna keep us out. This is basically our pool anyways.”

I laughed, both of us knowing full well there was no method of security beyond the sign and fence. The pool had never installed security cameras and after word spread that the owner had a fear of advancing technology, we had no worry of being caught.

He cupped his hands, holding them out for me to step on. I placed my foot on his hands as he lifted me up, helping me scale the fence. I stepped back, feeling a thrill as Yunho jumped over. It was probably the fourth or fifth time we’d done this, but each time was just as exciting. We walked over to the edge of the pool, its light blue water and the dark blue of the sunset opposing one another but making a beautiful visual.

“Alright, off we go.” Yunho’s fingers danced to the hem of my shirt, then pulling it off and ridding me of the layer of clothing. He pressed several kisses to the exposed skin, making me shiver.

Yunho then pulled back from me, slowly removing his shirt and giving me a teasing look when he caught me staring at his abs, “I look good, don’t I?”

“Shut up,” I laughed, lightly slapping his strong, tattooed arm before removing my skirt, enjoying the way my boyfriend’s eyes devoured me. I returned the action when I saw him remove his jeans, something he was clearly enjoying as well.

I turned back to the pool only to be thrown over Yunho’s shoulders. He let out a string of laughs as I struggled to get down, fearing that he would throw me into the water.

“If you throw me into the pool I’ll kill you!” I laughed, squirming on his shoulders.

“No...I would never do something like that.” I wasn’t even facing him, but I could hear the smile in his voice, which was my only indication that he was about to throw me into pool.

Before I could try to make any sort of escape, he tossed me into the water. It was cold, but less cold than I expected it to be. I coughed up a bit of water as I resurfaced and when I opened my eyes I squinted at Yunho, annoyed at how attractive he looked with the evil smirk on his face.

“You’re a jerk.” I said with no venom behind my words.

“Yeah, yeah. Brace yourself I’m coming in.”

I barely had time to move before he jumped in, his legs tucked to his chest. “Cannonball!”

I moved my hands in front of my face to block the wave of water coming my way, not feeling any surprise about my boyfriend’s childish behavior. When he resurfaced he faced me with a smile, wading towards me, embracing me in his arms, and wrapping my legs around his waist. He was so tall that he could reach the bottom of the pool without having to swim, unlike me, where I was no near reaching the bottom and needed to swim in place. With a satisfied hum he pressed several wet kisses to my neck.

“I love you,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by my skin.

“I love you too, babe.” I hesitated before I said my next words, still overwhelmed at how strong my feelings were for him, “You’re the love of my life.”

He pulled back with a bright smile on his face, his eyes shining almost as if he was tearing up, “I knew you were the love of my life the moment I saw you. And you’re all mine.” Yunho said before he placed a delicate kiss to my lips.

“All yours, babe.”

His long fingers danced along my sides, grabbing at my hips as he began to attack my chest with kisses. I giggled as the feeling of his stubble tickled my skin.

“You know, you really ‘oughta shave before you get a full beard.”

“Why? Are you saying I wouldn’t look good with one?”

I cupped his face, “You’d look amazing with one, but I thought you didn’t like beards, babe?”

“Hate ‘em.” Yunho’s laugh echoed around us, “Really weird that men can grow them in the first place. But anyways...”

His hands made quick work of my bra, letting it sink to the bottom of the pool. I opened my mouth to scold him but before I could his mouth latched to my right nipple, sucking and nipping on it in a way that made my hands seek out his hair and tug harshly at his locks. Letting out a growl, Yunho placed one hand on the the pool wall for balance and the other on my back, drawing abstract shapes there.

Yunho moved to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment and smiling when he heard my moans. In a flash he removed his hand from my back and pressed me against the pool wall, his hand now traveling to my panties.

As he removed the final item of clothing he ran a finger over my clit, giggling to himself. I gave him a look and he clarified, “Babe, you’re wet enough to fill an entire swimming pool.”

I groaned, pressing my head into his chest, “You make that same god awful joke every time we come here.”

“And as such I couldn’t let tradition die.”

“Shut up and fuck me.” I laughed, promptly helping him out of his boxers.

He continued to tease me after, switching between playing with my clit and stretching me out with his long fingers. By the time he finally gave in, I was a whimpering, pathetic mess, begging for more.

As he aligned with my walls he looked at me with delicate eyes, “Ready, little flower?”

I nodded quickly, chanting ‘yes’ over and over. Yunho once again placed a hand on the wall and hooked one of my legs over his waist, allowing him to thrust deeper inside me. He held my hand with his free one, a simple action that always melted my heart. Despite how long we’d been together, I would always get overwhelmed by him so easily. Everything about him exuded such a strong aura that sometimes just the smallest kiss would leave me breathless. The first time we were intimate he took his hand in mine and assured me he would be gentle, and every time since he’s held my hand. It wouldn’t feel right without our hands together.

“Shit—it’s been way too long since we’ve done this.” I said as he snapped his hips into mine, quickly repeating the action.

“God I know.” He let out a pained groan at the thought of it, “Four months is gonna be fucking awful without you.”

“Guess we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got now.”

“Guess we will.”

The sounds of water splashing and the echos of our moans, a symphony I had become so familiar with, was gradually reaching its crescendo. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open but I forced them to be, needed to memorize everything about this moment. The sweat dripping down Yunho’s forehead, the tattooed muscles he was flexing, the sounds and praise he was emitting, and pleasure we were both feeling--I wouldn’t see nor feel this for the next four months.

A particular snap of his hips had me seeing stars and I called out to him, letting him know I was close. Within minutes, both of us were panting and reeling from our highs. Yunho pressed his nose against mine and both of us closed our eyes, enjoying each other’s presence.

“How come every time we come here it ends in sex?” I giggled.

He blinked and moved a strand of wet hair out of my face, “Because you’re hot and barely wearing any clothes and no one’s around.”

I blushed at his compliment, “I mean like I’m not complaining or anything.”

A cocky smile formed on Yunho’s face, “Well it certainly didn’t sound like you were a moment ago.”

“Yunho!”

The man laughed, lifting me up and spinning me around in the pool before cradling me in his arms.

“I hate to say it, but we do need to head back. The world awaits for us, I’m afraid.”

I sighed, pressing into his chest, “I’m gonna miss you.”

He stilled as he pulled me closer, “I’m gonna miss you, too. You don’t have to miss me yet, though.”

“I know.” I swallowed, wishing I had something more to say.

“Come on, then.” Yunho gave me a quick kiss, “Let’s head back.”

Yunho held the front door open for me, giving me a gentle slap on my ass when I walked through. I turned around and gave him a playfully annoyed look, which he only laughed at.

As we walked towards the living room, the sound of a random sitcom filled our ears. Six heads turned our way after hearing our footsteps. Seonghwa was resting his head against his long-time girlfriend. She was a sweet girl and complimented him more than any woman I’d seen him with. They really were soulmates, if they ever existed.

San was sitting holding hands with a man he’d been interested in for awhile. I’d often see him flirting with various men and women, but he never went any further than that, too afraid of commitment. This man; however, seemed to breaking through San’s walls. I really hoped they would work out, San deserved someone as kind as him.

Wooyoung sat across from the them, who acknowledged us first.

“Hey guys. Have fun?” Wooyoung asked, smiling at my soaked hair. He had his arm around a woman I’d never seen before and I was certain that none of us would ever see her again. He had the reputation of a playboy, and every poor woman thought they’d be the one exception, the one to make him stay. I’m sure the allure of being a drummer in a band was part of his appeal, too. Maybe one day, like San, he’d settle down.

The woman became visibly upset when Wooyoung looked me with a teasing glance. Feeling sympathy for her, I decided to do my best to calm her nerves.

I spoke for us, linking hands with my boyfriend. “Yeah, we did. I think we’re gonna go clean up though.” I looked at the woman, “I’m y/n, by the way. I’m Yunho’s girlfriend.”

She didn’t even try to hide the relief on her face. “Oh! I’m Solar. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung started, “Best girlfriend he’s ever had. Much better for him than Lucy.”

Yunho glared at the man, “Thought we agreed not to bring her up?”

Lucy, the woman Yunho dated before me, was arguably the scariest person I’d ever heard about. They dated for roughly three months before she became obsessive, to the point where Yunho had to get a restraining order against her. She threatened to hurt all of Yunho’s friends and family, all because she wanted Yunho all to herself. That was about all Yunho ever told me about her. Not that I complained. I didn’t exactly want to discuss his exes, even more so when they were that crazy.

I never told him, but I knew I saw her the first date we went on. I could see the way her piercing, ice eyes saw through me. I had no doubt it was her. I just hope I’d never see her again. Maybe now that she saw he was taken she’d leave us alone. There was an uncomfortable silence following, none of us knowing what to say until San spoke.

“You look like a wet dog, Yunho.” San joked, prompting laughter from a few of us, which seemed like more of a noise of relief rather than one of actual humor.

“Yeah, yeah.” My boyfriend relaxed his shoulders, “I think we’re gonna head in for the night so don’t make too much noise.” Waving them goodbye he caught up with me, placing a hand around my waist.

“Shower with me, doll.”

I placed a hand on his chest, “I would love to.”

I came out of the shower wearing my favorite large shirt of Yunho’s, drying my wet hair with a towel. The smell of chlorine had gone away for the most part; whatever chemicals the owner put in that pool always made the smell harder to get rid of. Only a small price to pay, I figured.

My boyfriend, who was much quicker than I was, looked up from his phone as he was splayed out across his bed. His tired eyes smiled at me while motioning me over. Yunho’s own hair was still drying and with his bare face and crooked smile, he was as handsome as he could ever be.

“Hey there.”

“Hey, sweetheart.” He reached an arm out to me, pulling me against him when I took his hand, “How ya feeling?”

“Tired.” I hummed, sleepily smiling against his neck.

“Too tired to listen to the song I wrote for you?”

“No! Not at all.”

Yunho chuckled, slowly brushing my hair aside and turning his head to look at me. As he had countless times, he took a breath before he turned to me, beginning to sing.

“You give me fireworks

I’ll give you the kindest words, my dear

Your love caught me

The moment I met your eyes

And how could I not fall?

Your heart bared, no disguise”

I fought to stay awake although his melodic voice seemed to be lulling me to sleep. I felt myself losing consciousness, but managed to catch the last few lyrics he sang to me.

“Now I sunbathe in the daybreak

Half asleep, half awake

Writing this song

As I hope I’ll dream of you”

Yunho brushed his fingertips brush against my face before he spoke, “Goodnight, flower.”

I muttered some form of a “goodnight” before I felt sleep take over me, nuzzling happily against my boyfriend.

I woke up in a panic, unsure why my heart was beating so fast until I looked at the clock. Eleven in the morning. I was an hour later than I should’ve been at my job. It seemed that even unconscious my body knew I was late.

“Oh shit I’m gonna be late for work!” I spoke with wide eyes.

Jumping from Yunho’s bed I stripped myself of his shirt and quickly threw my clothes on. The body that laid beside me stirred, moving the covers aside.

“Are you leaving?” He asked sleepily, his face puffy from sleep and an adorable pout on his lips.

I frowned, “Yeah. I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together, babe.”

He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Both of us slept in.”

I tied my hair back, sighing. I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost missed Yunho’s question.

“Sorry what was that?”

He smiled, “You’re coming to our going away party tomorrow, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I moved back to the bed and hugged him, feeling my heart sink. I was proud of him, I really was, yet couldn’t help but feel sad that I wouldn’t see him for so long.

This was the longest tour they’d ever gone on and we’d never been apart from each other that long before. I trusted him and I was confident in our relationship, but realistically, all members of Sidekick Heart were attractive young men and a good portion of their fans were female. I was far more concerned about the female audience doing something than I was about Yunho making a move on another woman.

With one last squeeze of his shoulders I pulled back, goodbyes beginning to fall from my lips before Yunho pulled me back.

“I need a goodbye kiss.”

I pressed my lips together with a smile, gladly indulging him. Giving him one last kiss against the lips, I bid him farewell until the following day.

“So how was work?” My roommate asked as I walked in the house, propping her feet up on our couch and tossing a kernel of corn into her mouth, the lighting of the TV illuminating her blanket-covered body.

I sighed, sitting down on the floor next to her, “Other than being an hour and a half late and missing an important meeting I think it went okay. I’m just glad the day’s over.” Rubbing a hand over my face I turned to her, “What about you? How was your day?”

“Pretty damn good actually.” She smiled, removing the blanket and showing me the new ink on her upper arm. It was an assortment of flowers and matched her bubbly personality perfectly. They were now the fifth adornment on her beautiful dark skin, each one of them tempting me more and more to get a few of my own.

“Another one already, Tiff?”

“Listen, you’ll know how addicting they get as soon as you get your first.”

“You sound so confident that I will.”

“Oh I know you will. You’re dating a rockstar, after all. Not to mention he’s the goddamn lead singer and has tattoos of his own.”

“Shut up.” I giggled, “Speaking of, are you coming to the farewell party tomorrow?”

“I plan on it, but I’ll probably be there a couple hours late. My dad’s flying into town for the weekend so I plan on visiting first. I’m definitely coming though.”

I hummed, “Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. We all know it’ll go till sunrise anyway.”

She let out a loud laugh, likely remembering the last party of theirs we went to where she ended up more drunk than I’d ever seen her. She claims she remembers flashes of the night; playing strip beer pong and being dared to steal one of the neighbor’s bushes—which, after much convincing from those who were sober, she decided against it—but didn’t recall half of the hilarious memories of her the rest of us did. Personally, my favorite was watching her hold a tomato soup can and cry over the fact that it could never have children.

Tiff let out a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, turning in my direction. Her words were muffled by her yawn as she spoke, “Imma go to bed now. You good before I go?”

I smiled at her, “Yeah I’m good. I won’t stay up too much longer, just need to go through my nightly routine of looking at the stars, ya know, the usual.”

She nodded, wrapping the blanket around her and heading to her bedroom, “Sleep well, babe. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Back at ya.”

It was a habit of mine, gazing at the night sky before sleeping. It gave me comfort knowing that out there, somewhere, there was something else out there with me. Almost like I wasn’t going through everything alone.

I set my purse down when I reached our kitchen, reaching for a tea pot and tea bags, brainlessly brewing my favorite tea as I thought of what Yunho might be doing right now. It was probably most likely that he was practicing for their tours, but I could only hope he was getting a little bit of rest.

I stepped out onto our porch to look at the stars with a cup of tea in my hands, the night sky twinkling with all the stars it could offer. A slight breeze rustled my hair and I closed my eyes, thankful for the pleasant weather. I heard a sudden snap of a branch and my eyes quickly opened as I searched out property for any sign of an aggressive animal. My eyes finally landed on a human-like figure. Feeling adrenaline run though me, I decided to confront whoever or whatever it was.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” I spoke, my voice loud but not quite a yell.

The figure took off it’s hood to show their face, and I saw a familiar pair of ice blue eyes, though I hadn’t seen them in years, “I’m here to see you, of course.”

My brain quickly connected her to the woman I hoped I’d never see again.

Lucy.

“Well I don’t want to see you. Leave.”

She pressed a hand to her chest, feigning offense, “But I came all this way! Just to...say hello.”

I took a step towards her, hoping that if I appeared confrontational she would leave me alone. “I don’t know who you are, now please leave. I’m not going to say it again.”

“Oh, you poor girl. You really think you have the upper hand?” She pulled out a knife, and walked towards me at impressive speed, pointing the weapon at my throat. “I know you’ve been seeing Yunho. I. Don’t. Like. That.” She emphasized every word of the last sentence, anger woven within her voice.

I wanted to fight back. Everything in me was screaming to fight back, but I knew I had no chance. I had no idea what she was capable of, and I didn’t dare to find out.

“I dated him first and he’s still mine. You’re going to break up with him, you hear me?” She screamed in my ear, the sound shaking me to my core, “I never want to see you near him again.” She grabbed my jaw harshly, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. “I bet he doesn’t even love you.”

My eyes watered. I knew she was wrong, but with the adrenaline coursing through my veins and the harshness of her words I began to doubt myself.

Her grip tightened and I let out a yelp, “He loves me and I love him. He’s always loved me, not you. Why would he ever love a thing like you?”

She then threw me to the ground, towering over me, “Break up with him. Make him hate you. If you don’t,” She squatted down next to me, once more pointing the knife at my throat, “I’ll kill him myself and make you watch. Then,” She cocked her head, a crazed smile plastered on her face, “I’ll kill you. If I can’t have him, no one can.” She stood, smirking at me, “And you know I will.”

She kicked me in the stomach, watching as I crawled into myself, groaning from the pain. I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t hurt me any more than she already had.

“I’ll be watching you at the party tomorrow. Do it then. Break his heart. I’ll kill him then and there if you don’t.” She looked down at me and scoffed, “And I’ll be bringing friends to make sure the job gets done.”

I carefully opened my eyes to see her stepping over me, walking back into the darkness from which she came. I scrambled back into my house, hyperventilating from the interaction I just had.

I spent the night crying, not able to sleep even for a minute. I tried to think rationally, but there were just too many variables. How many ‘friends’ was she bringing? Would she really kill Yunho in front of everyone? Where would she be watching me from? Is she watching me now?

I could text or call Yunho to let him know, but where would we go from there? He’d want to meet me and she’d kill him instantly. Right?

“Maybe I could pull him aside at the party and warn him?” I murmured to myself, “No, she could probably see that. Maybe there’s people actually at the party who are looking out for us, too.” I covered my face with my hands and fell back into my pillows, weeping as I knew I had to break up with the love of my life.

Choosing to wear a yellow dress honestly couldn’t have been more ironic. Yellow was supposed to be a happy color. A color of hope and yearning, innocence and warm days full of laughter. It was the complete antithesis of how I felt and what I knew I had to do. Even worse, the weather was perfect. It was sunny, but not so much to make it unbearable outside. Everything about today made my insides twist.

I took a breath at the door of Yunho’s house, bracing myself for what I had to do. Knocking a few times I heard a commotion inside before the man I came to see opened the door. His smile had never been bigger.

“Baby!” He cheered, pulling me into a bear hug and ruffling my styled hair, “I’m so excited you’re here!”

He looks so ecstatic. And I have to break him.

The thought crushed me and brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t let him die. I knew she was serious, I didn’t doubt that for a moment. I grabbed Yunho’s arm, pulling him outside and away from everyone in the house.

I looked at the ground as I felt my lips begin to quiver, “I’m sorry. I just need to get this over with.”

Yunho bent down to meet my eyes, “Hey, hey. What’s going on sweetheart?” His voice was gentle, one of his hands coming to rub the tears from my face, “I’m here for you, whatever it is.”

I looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. I hated myself more than I’d ever hated anyone. “I don’t love you, Yunho.” My hands began to shake beyond my control, my own body knowing I was making a mistake.

“W-what?” Yunho’s voice cracked. A moment of silence passed before he let out a hollow laugh, “Baby, you don’t mean that-”

I looked up at him and immediately wished I hadn’t. Tears were welling in his eyes, his own hands beginning to shake.

“I said I don’t love you Yunho!” I said louder than I intended, “Not anymore. I don’t want to be with you. I’m sorry.”

He took a step back and I noticed his hands clenching, something he always did to keep himself from crying.

“If that’s what you want,” Tears fell from his eyes before he finished his sentence, “Then I’ll support your decision.” He looked to the side, not knowing what else to say.

I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and explain everything, tell him that I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a second, but I couldn’t. Instead, I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and looked at him one last time. He was so fucking handsome, so goddamn kind, and here I was doing this to him. Maybe he did deserve someone better.

“Good luck with your tour, Yunho. I know you’ll be fantastic.”

I turned and walked away from him quickly, leaving the house and ignoring the stare I could feel on me. I ran across the yard to my car, starting the engine and leaning my head against the steering wheel. I felt myself lose all oxygen in my body, the only option left to take large gasps of air. My vision was so clouded by tears I couldn’t even see anymore. I’d just lost myself along with my other half. I’d never felt as empty as I did in that moment.

Just then I heard a knocking on my window. I half-hardheartedly lifted my head and felt my heart lurch. Yunho was standing outside my car, eyes red and puffy, looking at me like I was the last person he’d ever see. I opened my car without thinking, my breathing still as uneven as before.

Yunho spoke, his voice coarse and distant, “I’m not asking you to change your mind, but I need you to know that I have always loved you and I always will. That will never change.”

I wiped the snot from my nose but didn’t bother to try and fix the mascara I knew was streaming down my face. I knew I had to look horrible, but he still held so much love for me that it was easy to see in his eyes. I fought myself to not reply, knowing that if I’d open my mouth all I’d say was ‘I love you’ over and over again.

“Is it too out of line to ask for a last hug?” He smiled sadly as more tears poured from his eyes.

I shook my head, running into his arms and embracing him. I felt like I made a mistake the moment I did because I could smell him. He was wearing the cologne I bought him for his birthday. His warm, sturdy chest...everything about him felt like home.

“Goodbye, Yunho.”

I arrived at home alone, tears still stinging my eyes. Tiff was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t decide if I was thankful or sad for the fact that she wasn’t there. I barely made it out to our porch before collapsing once again, finding it harder and harder to breathe. I didn’t know how long I was sitting there, it could’ve been one hour or three, but given the setting sun it looked like it was the latter. Once more I heard a noise outside our home, and once more the female figure appeared before me.

“You did good,” Lucy said, twirling her knife in her hands, “Dare I say I’m proud of you.”

“I don’t ever want to see you here again.” I cried, “I did what you want now get the fuck away from me.”

“My, my. You have quite the mouth on you, don’t you?” She tsked, “But you did as I asked, so I might as well comply. Don’t; however, think that you can go crawling back to Yunho and tell him about this. I’ll keep watching you and if you decide to do just that...I’ll follow through with my promise.”

I kept my eyes on the ground, convinced that if I looked up at her I’d attempt to rip the hair out of her head. No anger I had ever felt before could surmount to the rage I was feeling.

“Nonetheless, it was a pleasure doing business with you, miss.”

As soon as she came, she was gone. When I finally let myself look up, I could no longer see her, only darkness. Once again, I was alone.

Six months had passed since I broke up with Yunho and today officially made the third new date I’d went on. All of them were absolutely horrible. It wasn’t even that the guys were mean or rude or weren’t attractive, they just weren’t him.

Why am I even trying to move on?

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked heavy, the bags under my eyes ever prominent. I couldn’t fool myself. I’d never be able to be with another man again. I forced myself to hold back tears and reached back to untie my hair, preparing to take a bath in hopes that it would take my mind off of things.

I began to run the warm water as I reached for several candles, lighting them and placing them around the room, trying to forget the entire day altogether. As I waited for the tub to fill I grabbed my phone, opening Instagram for no other reason than to have something to do. Although Yunho and I broke up, I still followed their band account, as well as their individual accounts. Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung were still my friends, after all. Yunho was the only exception. Both of us unfollowed each other early on just because it was too painful. I didn’t hold it against him and hoped he didn’t hold it against me either.

Regardless, my eyes found the most recent post on Sidekick Heart’s account. All four members were shirtless, their hair dripping wet with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. They were standing by a pool, the same one Yunho and I would often break into. I noticed Yunho first, how could I not? His smile wasn’t as wide as the other’s, his eyes a bit colder, but he looked happy all the same. He looked good. Really, really good. He was always fit while we were dating, but he gained more muscle since I last saw him and it didn’t go unnoticed by their fans, either. I clicked the comment section against my better judgement, knowing what I was going to see before I even did so.

“Yunho looks like a fucking goddd”

“So Yunho’s still single right??”

“Yunhooo hmu I beg you”

“Jesus Christ Yunho break me please”

A surge of jealousy rushed through me. I hated when girls said those things when we were together, but now that we were apart it made it even worse. I had no right to be jealous, and that was the worst part.

The water reached my leg that was resting on the side of the tub and I scrambled to turn off the faucet. Doing my best to push the images from my mind I placed my phone aside and stripped from my clothes, settling in the water. I sighed as some water fell out of the side of the tub. It wasn’t a terrible thing to happen, but it seemed to just be another thing to go wrong.

My eyes wandered back to my phone, Instagram still open and the picture I was looking at earlier still on display. He was so fucking hot and seeing that he was standing next to that pool—our pool—made my brain short circuit. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from taking me back to the last night we broke in, the way we teased each other and how it inevitably led to sex. It seemed I had no control over my body as my dominant hand slipped between my legs.

But as much as I wanted it to be, it wasn’t the same. My fingers weren’t as long or slender as his and just nothing about our touches were the same, but the image of him just made my hormones rage. Every ounce of me craved him.

My fingers swirled around my clit, a bundle of pleasure shooting through me at the action. I closed my eyes, letting my body take over and repeat the motions and much as I fought not to, my brain kept replaying scenes of two of us again, and again, and again.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” Yunho spoke as I sunk down on his dick, barely finding the energy to lift myself up again even though the noises he made were like shots of espresso.

“Aww, is my baby getting tired?” He cooed, jerking his hips into mine.

“It’s not fair!” I whined, “I’m not good at this and you know it.”

“But we wouldn’t be a good couple if we didn’t encourage each other to work hard, right? Up you go, flower.”

I whimpered and pouted, but still obeyed him. Taking pity on me, Yunho grabbed my waist and lifted me, relaxing his grip as I moved downward. I made a noise that wasn’t understood by Yunho, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“What was that?”

“Please. More. I need you so bad.” I begged.

Yunho laughed, “I really do have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?”

I nodded before remembering that he’d probably prefer a verbal answer, “Yes. I’m w-wrapped around your finger.”

He let out a noise of satisfaction before flipping us over into a position so that he would have full control. I grabbed the bedsheets roughly, so much in my own world that I didn’t hear Yunho’s words.

“What was that?” I let out with a series of mewls.

“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, too, you know? I don’t go an hour without thinking about you anymore. I can’t even have a single conversation without bringing you up. Anytime someone says your name my heart beats out of my damn chest. You’re the only woman for me.”

My legs shook as my high approached, barely able to breathe at it’s intensity. It took me a minute before I could even remember where I was. As I came to my senses, I felt tears biting at my eyes and this time I didn’t bother to hold them back. I watched as they streamed down my face and joined the now-cold water surrounding me. I brought my hands up to cover my eyes, glad Tiff wasn’t home to hear my wailing. She’d been good about staying with me since the breakup, but tonight she just wasn’t here. The hole in my heart felt even deeper now. I wondered if he found someone, if he was happy now. Hell, maybe it was his ex. The thought tore my heart out and ripped it in two. I wanted to be happy for him if it was true, but I just couldn’t be. I was still too selfish. I still wanted him to love only me.

New friends, new beginnings or whatever.

That’s apparently what I thought when I began attending more clubs at college after the breakup, meeting new people and eventually finding a really solid friend group. All who happened to really like punk-rock music.

“You should really go with us,” Shang directed his words at me, “There’s a new band popping up that’s playing this weekend. It’s three hours away but they have great music.”

I sighed, not fully convinced although it did sound fun. The last concert I’d been to was one of Yunho’s and though I hadn’t even seen him in what felt like forever, I still couldn’t help myself from thinking of him anytime someone talked about concerts. Sensing my apprehension, the woman beside me spoke up.

“Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!” Tyra chanted in my ear, her black curls bouncing with her as she clapped her hands between the words. “Come on, it would be so much fun and you know it.”

I bit my lip, deep in thought. I knew I would have fun but I just didn’t know if that would outweigh the pain I would feel.

“What’s the band name?” I asked, looking at Shang.

“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his head, “I was a little drunk when I told one of my friends I’d be there so I don’t even remember what they’re called.”

“How do you know they have great music, then?” I laughed, Tyra agreeing with me, apparently not knowing who was playing when she agreed either.

“I mean, my brother listens to their music and he’s got good music taste so they’ve gotta be good.”

I closed my eyes as I felt an oncoming headache, knowing they wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “Fuck it.” I stated, “I’ll go.”

The two cheered, Shang promising that I’d enjoy myself. I doubted it, truthfully, but really it was decided that I’d go the moment the pair brought the idea up to me.

Our trio waded through the giant crowd as the doors opened to let us into the venue. It was big, one of the larger concerts I’ve been to. Whoever we were seeing was successful, for sure. The volume at which everyone was speaking was essentially a yell, so I had to do just that to get my messages through.

“I still can’t believe we have no fucking idea who’s playing!” I yelled at Shang.

He laughed, “I got seats towards the front row, though! I didn’t even have to pay for them!”

“That’s not gonna matter if we don’t know any of the lyrics, you dipshit!” Tyra barked.

“Okay okay I should’ve asked, I get that now.”

As we found our way towards the seats, there was a big projector with the words ‘Sidekick Heart’ displayed across it. My heart dropped and I suddenly felt it become hard to breathe.

“You got us tickets to a Sidekick Heart concert?” Tyra beamed, “I love their music and I’m practically in love with San! His vocals are insane! Holy shit, Shang!”

“Ohhhh yeah I remember now.” He chuckled.

I seemed to fade into the background as the two of them discussed their love for the band and the members. All I could think about was seeing Yunho again.

Would he see me? How would he react if he does?...Does he hate me?

I only came back to reality when the audience began to cheer and I saw all the members step onto stage. Seonghwa cradled his electric guitar, in one arm, waving at the audience with the other. Wooyoung plopped down behind the drum set, smiling at the audience while twirling a drumstick. With his bass guitar, San, ever the king of expressions, gave his best smoulder to the audience and it seemed like the audience collectively screamed over him. Then came Yunho out to center stage, his electric guitar in his hands and a smirk on his face as if he knew everyone in the damn building wanted to fuck him. And he’d be right. The spotlights on each of them made them look like actual gods. If I didn’t know them personally I would have thought they were.

Yunho leaned into the mic, his gruff voice taking me by surprise, “Hello everyone! Great to see you all! If you haven’t been to one of our concerts before this is how it’s gonna work: You’re gonna dance, we’re gonna sing, we’re all gonna have a fucking great time tonight!”

The crowd erupted as the first song began to play. It was one of their more popular songs and for good reason. All over it was a really well put together song and I couldn’t help as I began to mouth along to the words. Song after song played, some I knew some I didn’t, and the entire time I couldn’t look away from the man singing. He radiated confidence and looked relaxed as if he’d been performing for decades. I knew he wasn’t as cool as he seemed, I’d given him so many pep talks before performances I couldn’t count them, but as an outsider you’d never know.

I wonder who talked him up this time?

“Alright everyone. This is the last song of the night and-”

The audience booed, everyone upset at the night coming to a close.

Yunho laughed. The sound was rich and beautiful. He was truly enjoying himself. This is what he was meant to do, with or without me. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry.

Yunho’s voice filled my ears. “I know, I know. I’d love to stay a bit longer, too. Here’s the thing though...” He paused and I opened my eyes only to see him looking back at me. His eyes automatically softened as they always did when he saw me, but as if he remembered how we ended his gaze hardened slightly, like he was trying to distance himself. It felt like we’d been looking at each other for hours before he opened his mouth to speak again, but I knew very well that my perception of time had been off for a while.

“Even if we only have this little time left, I’ve truly enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. The fact that it’s coming to an end soon is what makes it so special, I think.” Yunho broke eye contact with me, smiling slightly and glancing back out at the sea of people. “Seeing your smiling faces, your energetic cheers—all of it—is a reminder to me that we’re so lucky to be doing this as a job. Really...I love you all.”

The audience let out a chorus of ‘awws’ which was followed by several rather aggressive ‘I love you too’s.

The lead singer once more smiled, “Now, without further adieu, this is one of our newest songs and it’s called Brown Eyes, here it is.”

The music began to play, all instruments coming together to make a somber tune. Somehow they were always able to write music that perfectly encapsulated emotions or ideas. This one? Loss.

“Since you left you’re still so infused

In how I think and what I do

Can’t seem to get you to leave me alone

Your ghost stayed here and she watches my tears

That run down our picture frames”

Then he found me again in the crowd, no doubt able to see the tears staining my makeup, no doubt able to see how broken I was. And still, he sang.

“I’ve tried hard to fight it

Yet I keep givin’ in

There’s been no one but you

I’m trapped, confined

And your platinum smile still knocks me out

Every single time”

He kept eye contact with me, not once breaking his gaze. It was almost as if he wanted me to break first, as if he wanted me to look away before him. As if he was daring me to leave him again.

San stepped closer to his mic and took his eyes away from his bass guitar, Yunho’s voice being replaced by the purple-haired man. As his voice rang out I only could’ve hoped the next lyrics were about one of San ex’s, not me. Even if they weren’t, Yunho still looked at me.

“It’s not aimed at me

Maybe it never was

But oh darling, you could’ve fooled me”

My eyes flickered down, unable to look at Yunho any longer. His gaze only broke my heart further and in turn I felt my eyes water. After a moment or two, I worked up the courage to look back at him. He was still looking at me like he never moved his eyes. I couldn’t seem to register the lyrics until Yunho began to sing again, his voice drawing me in as it always did.

“You've disappeared without a trace

Left an unsuspecting guise

Love, I need you to know

I’ve been losing far more than sleep

Over those deep chocolate eyes.”

As the song and the show ended and everyone in the crowd cheered, I felt a rush of emotions run through me. Thrilled that they’d become so successful, proud of them for putting on such an amazing show, and hurt because I could still see a sliver of sadness in Yunho’s eyes.

I hurt him.

Yunho then reluctantly said his goodbyes to the audience along with the rest of the members. His jaw tightened as he walked over to Wooyoung, whispering something in his ear before walking off stage. Feeling like I was set in a trance, I grabbed my Tyra’s arm and mumbled something about going to the bathroom before following him. I completely ignored her questions and concerns about where I was going, dead set on talking to him again even though I didn’t have a damn idea what I was going to say.

Somehow, through the giant maze of people, I was able to spot Yunho leaving through the backstage. Instinctively I ran towards him, still having no plan in mind. I only stopped when a purple-headed man appeared before me.

“Y/n!” He smiled, bringing me into a hug, “I missed you so much!” He pulled back from me, “We all did.”

Seonghwa and Wooyoung came from behind me, both wearing sad, kind smiles. They looked healthy and happy, which was all I could’ve asked for them.

“How’ve you been, girl?” Seonghwa cocked his head, genuinely curious.

I hesitated, not sure if I should tell them the truth. But at the end of the day, they were still my friends. “Not...great. If I’m being honest. I was kinda hoping I could talk to Yunho...if I could.”

They all shared a look I couldn’t understand.

Wooyoung spoke up, “We’re having a party at a friend’s house after this, you should come.”

I was surprised, still not fully understanding the situation.

San frowned, “I think it would be good for you two to talk. He didn’t tell us too much about what happened, but I’m sure you had a good reason. You were always so good to all of us.”

“I can text you the address if you’d like,” Wooyoung added, “You still have the same number?”

I nodded.

“Okay, good. We need to get back but we’ll see you there. Take care, okay?”

“I will. Thanks guys.”

San pulled me in for another hug, “Of course.”

They waved as we parted ways and for the first time that night, I felt hopeful. I spotted Shang and Tyra and ran up to them, no doubt a smile on my face as I asked, “Soo...you guys up for a party?”

I ditched my friends the moment we arrived, barely even sparing a word with Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung once they nudged me in the direction of Yunho. I didn’t try to think too much about it, knowing I’d explain it all to them later.

He was standing in an empty bedroom, looking at the floor and sipping out of a red cup which likely contained liquor. When his eyes met mine a rush of memories flooded back to me. The first time we kissed, the first time he confessed he loved me, the first time he saw me cry.

The first time I broke his heart.

His eyes raised to mine, his face stoic, “Enjoy the show?”

My mouth opened and closed, not having any clue what to say to him, “Yunho I-”

“I know why you did it.” He said suddenly, “A week after you left me Lucy showed up to one of our shows and tried to convince me it was all a coincidence. Said that I could finally be with her. When I didn’t buy it she finally gave in and told me she convinced you we were better apart. So naturally I called the cops and they arrested her for breaking the restraining order, thank god.” He shook his head, looking disgusted, “You know I never wanted us to be apart. My question to you,” he took a step further towards me, “is why did you do it? Why did you end us?”

When I couldn’t seem to respond he talked once more, “You could’ve told me what she was trying to do. We could’ve worked it out together.” He looked more disappointed and heartbroken rather than angry.

He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve any of this.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Yunho.” I bit my tongue as I fought back tears, “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I-I’m just-” I sobbed, “Lucy told me she would kill you if I kept dating you.”

Yunho’s mouth shut and eyes widened, clearly missing that bit of information. I took it as my cue to continue “I don’t know why she did it, but it’s probably because we were happy.”

More tears fell down my face and it became harder for me to talk, but I owed him the truth. I had to tell him the truth. I looked up at him but because of my tears my vision was blurred. Yunho’s hands were tightening into fists as he looked away from me.

“I couldn’t tell you because I had to protect you so I had to make you hate me and I’m just so sorry.” I fell to the ground, my body feeling as heavy as my heart.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I brought my eyes to meet his own, “I’m sorry.” A tear streamed down his cheek, heavy remorse in his eyes, “God she’s fucking awful.”

A laugh got caught in my throat, “Yeah she is.”

He set his cup down somewhere along the way a his hands cupped my face, finally whispering the words I’d only heard in dreams, “I still love you so fucking much. I never stopped loving you. I never even tried to stop because I know I couldn’t.”

I jumped into his arms and kissed him hard, unintentionally knocking him to the floor. He met my lips with just as much fire, groaning when I unconsciously bucked my hips into his, all my sexual frustration still pent up.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Yunho growled, obviously feeling needy too but deciding against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist, speaking in between kisses, “I missed your cute laugh. I missed your lips. I missed your fucking awful jokes. I missed the way you’d look at me whenever you told me you loved me. I missed your gorgeous body and your smile. I missed your moans and the way you arched your back when we’d have sex. I missed how alive you made me feel.” He pulled back to look at me, “My life had no purpose without you.”

I took a breath, tears once more falling, “Mine didn’t either.” It wasn’t anything profound or emotional, but it was the truth. It didn’t.

Gently picking me up, he placed me on the bed. His eyes were raw, as emotional as they could ever be. Taking my hands in his, he looked at me as if I would disappear at any minute.

“Stay with me. Come with us on the rest of the tour. If you can’t take a vacation we’ll hire you as an assistant. If you can’t do that we’ll make some other kind of accommodation. Just stay, please. Please be mine again.”

I looked at the man in front of me. The tough-looking, six-foot tall, tattooed, strong man that could probably scare the shit out of anyone. Yet here he was, bearing his heart to me and being as vulnerable as a person could be.

I smiled, feeling my heart swell. “I’ve only ever been yours.”

The morning was bright, lighting directly hitting my eyes. I cursed myself for not closing the blinds the night before and blinked off my sleep when I heard a familiar pleasant sound.

Jumping down from the bed I put on the new fluffy bathrobe my lover bought me. I followed Yunho’s voice out to my porch, realizing I was listening to a new song of his. The man was strumming a guitar, a beautiful melody falling from his lips. When he noticed me, he smiled and continued to sing.

“I’m in a vivid yellow mood

You’re my muse, my home and room

And now that I have you again

What could I ever fear?

Oh do me a favor, dear

And inscribe your name on my sleeve

Let me keep it there forever

Because you’re better than any daydream.”

#ateez #kpop #imagines #ateez au #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez smut #atzinc #fluff #ateez yunho #rockstar au #yunho au

151 notes · View notes