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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

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One is a big number | Lee Taeyong

❤︎ Taeyong x female!reader ❤︎ Very fluffy, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, Highschool AU, Strangers to lovers, Love Alarm universe, Love Alarm au? ❤︎ 1/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Under the universe of Love Alarm, you rang Lee Taeyong’s Love Alarm loud and proud and you as a new girl at the school, has his attention more than anything else.

Word count: 7,682k

Warnings: Protected sex, loss of virginity, touching, teasing, making out, corruption, goodbye innocence, mentions of first base to home run, taeyong having a boner while kissing, all that high school exploring in bed while Taeyong’s parents are not home, Trusting an app regarding love, swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of other idols

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. This will be very fluffy because I wanted to start February on a light note. hehe. Also, this is inspired by First Love by NCT 127 under Loveholic’s single. It’s a good thing that I finished this before they announced that First Love is all about your first... love... hahaha so I had time to incorporate in more with my fic. As always, I enjoy writing for my Bubu. Happy reading!

For NCT-WRITER’S FEBRUARY EVENT, LOVE ALARM @nct-writers

Can you still remember your first love? The day you met and the day you realized you officially like that person?

When that one person hold your hand for the first time? Did he kept you close and kept you warm?

When that one person kissed you for the first time? How did it feel?

When you had your first fight, how did you fixed it?

Do you remember the time when you realized that, that one person is slowly slipping into your hands?

When that one specific person broke your heart?

Do you remember it?

It’s been over four years since Love Alarm has been launched and they’ve been using it for almost everything. The world seemed to have progressed a lot now that we have Love Alarm in our phones but did it really made our lives easier? Especially when it comes to love?

Walking to school on a beautiful day, your first day as a transferee... what could possibly go wrong? As you enter the school premises, you see students holding their phones like they’re waiting for something or someone. Perhaps they’re waiting for someone to ring their Love Alarm? Who knows?

“He’s here!” A rather excited student exclaimed and brought out her phone and grabbed her friend. You being the only clueless student right now turned your back too to see the man they’ve been waiting for.

He was like a celebrity when he stepped on the first few steps upon the school’s entrance. Lee Taeyong, a senior. Very good looking, smart, athletic, and voted junior prom king. He literally looks like an angel walking in the middle of the school’s entrance together with his friends who look liked angels too. Their Love Alarm rang so much as they walk in front of the new and old students, making fun of each other and having a bet on whose Love Alarm will ring the most.

You looked at him. You looked at his face like you don’t already know that it’s impolite to stare at someone, but you still did because Lee Taeyong is handsome. And you’re not immune to his charms. What a good way to start school, you thought. It’s only the first day but you feel like you’re going to have a blast as long as you see Lee Taeyong around.

From there on Lee Taeyong has become your crush and your heart thumps so hard whenever you ring his Love Alarm every morning like the other girls. For you, there’s no shame in ringing his Love Alarm, you’re glad it does that. At least you’re being honest to him in silence and let the alert from Love Alarm do the talking. But even though you ring his Love Alarm again and again and again, you never wish for him to ring your Love Alarm back, no. He deserves someone perfect like him.

Day by day and whenever you see him around, you look at him to feed your heart and eyes then look away again and ignore him as if you didn’t ring his Love Alarm loud and proud. It frustrates him you know, but in a good way. He now recognizes you as the new girl who rings his Love Alarm every day but seems to don’t care about him enough. In other words, you’re not like the other girls.

You know that good feeling when you go to school and you’re looking forward to seeing your crush even just for a few seconds? That’s what Lee Taeyong feels for you. With just a couple of weeks of ringing his Love Alarm, you had the man thinking about you and wanting to know you. Sometimes he can’t understand Love Alarm. He is completely sure that he likes you already and he is very interested in you, but he can’t ring your alarm.

Have you ever had that good feeling when your crush is around and you are free to look at him no matter how long you want and whenever he caught you staring you just avoid his eyes? It’s like playing chicken but you’re both enjoying the game, he smiles at you and brings up his phone as if he’s telling you ‘Thank you for ringing my Love Alarm again’ and you just smile at him, completely clueless that he’s starting to flirt.

“Why don’t you just ring her Love Alarm back?” Doyoung asked.

“Cant. For some twisted reason, I can’t ring her Love Alarm. That’s why I can’t make a move and can only flirt back, I want to trust Love Alarm” Taeyong says, eyes completely glued to you but you don’t know that because you’re busy reading.

“Maybe you don’t really like the girl?” Doyoung blurted out. Lee Taeyong didn’t really want to admit it with his friend but maybe he’s right.

“The Lee Taeyong flirts back now huh? And to a new girl? Interesting” Johnny swings his arm to his friend and ruffles his hair. Teasing him for flirting back at you because he saw Taeyong smiled in your direction.

“Am I not allowed to flirt?” Taeyong snorted and turned off his Love Alarm when he saw the place getting crowded already. “It’s senior year, I need to change” he added.

“So changing your relationship status is a good start? Hmm. Okay, I agree with you on that. But don’t waste your time if you're unsure,” Johnny explains. But Lee Taeyong doesn’t care, he looks at you as you gather your books thinking of many ways to start talking to you and secretly wishing he can ring your Love Alarm back. But for now, he just can’t.

While you were studying at the library, you can’t help but remember how Lee Taeyong thanked you for ringing his alarm.... he fucking thanked you, that must be something? He isn’t thanking every single person who rings his alarm, just you. You smile at that thought which you think is crazy but a girl can dream. Then again you remember that you’re studying and shook your head for the nth time to stop yourself from thinking about your senior.

When you finally focused on studying and finished tons of school work, you didn’t notice that it’s already dark outside and that going home alone would be scary but you have no choice. You walk and walk and walk until you finally reached that scary alleyway you’ve been trying to avoid but it’s your only way home.

“Hey- don’t go there”

A familiar voice warned you before you can even start walking, you turned around and wish that you were wrong but you weren’t. It is as if the world heard you thinking about Lee Taeyong and the universe made you meet in an unexpected way. “It’s dangerous there, where are your friends? Is that your way home?” He asked the question like you two were close and talking already, his face looked cold but funny how he makes you feel warm.

“Yes, this is the only way. Usually, I go home when the sun is still up but I have to study” you explain.

“I have no choice then. Let me walk you home, my conscience will not let me sleep if I just let you-“

“I can take care of myself, I can easily call my dad. If I refuse your offer, will you still think about me?” You don’t know where the sudden bravery came from but you’re glad you did it.

He was completely shy, blushing and keeping his head down. And that’s the push that Lee Taeyong needed. He held out his hand and introduced himself properly like a decent person would and you did the same. Both hands are shaking because of nervousness but that’s understandable you both thought. “This isn’t how I imagined meeting you officially-“

“So you do think about me?” You further tease the blushing man and finally admits the truth and said, “Yes. I do think about you. A lot” it was silent for a few seconds before he started again, “I wish I could ring your Love Alarm too, you make me nervous you know that? Whenever I’m in school I look forward to seeing you, even just for a few seconds” he came closer to you as you grip your bag tightly and the butterflies in your stomach won’t stop flapping their wings when Lee Taeyong put strands of hair behind your ear so he could see you clearly under the lamppost light.

Either way, you still let him walk you home and cherish every second you could have with your crush. You feel like you’ve won something like you’re winning this nonexistent race with the other girls, you feel happy for yourself. He told you about his day, you told him yours, he made you laugh, you make him shy for no reason. And when you and Taeyong finally reached your house, you exchanged numbers. Now you can tell that you’re winning something. His attention and interest.

“I hope I can ring your Love Alarm,” he says again, looking at you like it’s going to be the last thing he’ll do.

“That’s fine, ring mine when you’re ready. We can’t rush romance, even when Love Alarm is involved” you watch him let out a small laugh and you think he’s so handsome even when he’s cute.

“Usually girls get offended when someone they like can’t ring their Love Alarm, but you... you don’t mind waiting”

You didn’t want to end the moment yet but it’s getting pretty late and he needs to go home too, you told him to stop flirting and go home safe so he can flirt with you some other time. And for the last time, just to wrap this wonderful night, he tilts his head and smiled so sweetly to you and told you ‘good night’

That moment you had with Lee Taeyong felt like a pretty damn good song but just like every song, it needed to end. But you will never forget about it.

After that momentous night with your crush, Lee Taeyong has become a whole entire playlist and a well written album wrapped into one. Every love song you listen to was suddenly all about him he and the man was head over heels to you. He was texting you nonstop even during class, calling you after school and will probably end later at night, and getting the tiniest chance to flirt with you in the morning before you both head to class and meet again by golden hour to walk home together.

Not long after a week of flirting and getting to know each other more, he finally rang your alarm in front of many students in school accidentally. Your eyes went big and Taeyong was as shocked as you are. It was like you have this 10-meter radius for yourselves only and you were both giggling when your Love Alarms went off together. It was a happy moment, definitely one for the books. “Finally” he whispers, standing close to you, not caring if a lot of people are watching. Let them watch, Lee Taeyong thought. So they know you belong to each other now and you have Love Alarm on your side.

“Are you free this weekend?” He asks while walking you home.

“Free, but I have to study. What do you have in mind?” you answered as calmly as you could because you have a hunch that he’s going to ask you on a date.

“Well, now that I can finally ring your Love Alarm, I want to take you out on a proper date” you knew it, “movies?”

“Sounds fun, as long as it’s scary” he nods and took his phone out of his pocket.

“Can I ring your Love Alarm again?” He requests which you gladly gave in and opened the app. You two waited for a few seconds for Love Alarm to work its magic.

Waiting

Until the number ‘1’ appeared on your screens and says “Someone within 10-meter radius loves you”. Taeyong sighed in relief and swing his arms around you for a hug and a kiss on the forehead. “That scared me” he admitted.

Unconsciously, he doesn’t know what his hug and kiss can do to you. While his heart calms as he hugs you, yours is beating so fast like you just ran a mile. There’s that winning feeling again.

On your first date, he took you to the movies and as promised the movie was scary. It was so scary that he had enough opportunity to hold you close and hold your hand the whole time. The moment your fingers intertwined, you felt some kind of electricity flowing in your body and the movie house suddenly felt warm. “I know, I felt it too” he whispers and went back to watching the movie.

The next few days with Taeyong was something you’ve never imagine that will happen in your high school life. He has become the epitome of new things and first times.

He is the first guy to hold your hand in public. Swinging it high, up and down, holding it tight, and he even kisses it whenever he feels like it. Not a day goes by that he didn’t hold your hand or kept you close to him ever since you made it official through Love Alarm.

He is the first guy to sweep you off your feet, through his sweet words and gentleman gestures. “Can I flirt with you later?” he asks, putting a bottle of juice in front of you before he goes to his next class. ‘Flirt with you’ simply means he wanted to spend time with you before he walks you home.

Still in your school uniforms, Taeyong brought you somewhere quiet where the river is calm, and just looking at it makes you calm your nerves too. “The sun feels nice, let’s watch the sun go down,” he says lying comfortably on the ground and enjoying the warm grass underneath his body.

“How’s your day?” you sat beside him and Taeyong was quick to cover your legs with his school coat. He grunted while covering your legs as he remembers how stressful being a senior is.

“Was having a bad day, when I talked to you earlier. School has been kicking my butt” he says and lies again beside you. “How about you? How's being a new student so far?”

“So far so good, I have a handsome senior who just made my high school life more interesting”

He handsomely giggles in front of you, so close that your lips are just inches away. “You’re flirting,” he says.

“You said you wanted to flirt with me?” you bite back.

“Mmm-hmm. Can I flirt a little differently today?” he came even much closer to you but you didn’t pull away because you know exactly what he’s talking about.

And just as you expected, he kissed you. Softly. Holding your chin as he moves his lips on yours while the sun goes down. Your eyes were shut and all you did the whole time your boyfriend was kissing you is return the kiss and savor the feeling of being kissed for the first time.

When the kiss was over, he did not pull away immediately but looked at your lips for a few seconds as if he wanted to kiss it again but even more fiercely this time but he knew this is not the right time for that. So instead, he kissed your nose and your forehead and flashed a sweet smile at you. Something that you will never forget like the kiss you just shared a few seconds ago.

After that day, kissing became an everyday habit to you and Taeyong and you both love it whenever you get the chance to share a kiss privately. Well, he does kiss you in public, but those are nothing compared to the ones you share inside his room after school and his parents are not yet home. Lee Taeyong’s lips are simply addicting but little did you know that your boyfriend is even more addicted to kissing you.

“Just one more kiss” he pulls you close to him begging for another kiss before he watches you go inside your house. “One more please” he pouted like the baby that he is.

You crashed your lips on him and feel both of his hands hold the sides of your head so you won’t pull away from him so easily. But when you do, he simply asks for another kiss and then another other, until you’re basically making out in front of your house.

“Mmm” he moans like he’s not planning to stop kissing you soon.

“Tae-“ you giggle and tried pushing away and finally, he stopped. Lips swollen, slightly panting with a…. hard cock.

“Sorry about that. I- I have no control over that, I’m sorry” he apologizes and tries to hide his boner. You let out a small laugh and fixed his ruined hair with a few pat.

“You don’t have to be shy, I’m your girlfriend. See you tomorrow, okay? Go home safe!” you slowly walk towards your house, waving your hand goodbye until you see him walk away.

Just like any new couple, you and Taeyong crave for each other in many ways. After exploring enough with kissing and teasing each other whenever one of you gets too turned on, soon you talk about different levels of physical intimacy freely without being awkward.

Given that Taeyong is more experienced than you are because you’re a virgin, he knew exactly what to do when it comes to expressing his physical needs to you and making sure that he doesn’t pressure you with anything.

“So how do I know if what base are we on?” you asked innocently.

“First base is kissing. Open mouthed kisses, tongue- basically, the things I already did to you or the things we did already” he explains, hands on your waist as you both lie on your sides facing each other.

“I’m guessing we're way past first base then” you smirked and made him shy.

“Yeah. Way past first base” he smirked back at you and hovers on top of you. “The second base is more on touching” he emphasized the word ‘touching’ and better explain it by moving his hand from your leg up until he reaches your inner thighs under your school skirt and run up a finger on your slit unexpectedly which made you curl in no time and curse at him. Not because you didn’t like it, but because it felt good and he immediately stopped the teasing.

You glared at him as if you’re telling him through your eyes to touch you again, be he just snorted and kissed your cheeks. “Don’t hate me. I’m just waiting for the perfect timing” he explains and enjoys how you’re so annoyed but horny.

You let out a sharp sigh and made him continue again. “Third base is giving head or fingering. Oh, you’re going to love third base” he teased you further by just using his words. You pushed him away from you playfully but your boyfriend is strong and caught your hands, “okay okay. Enough teasing, home run is having sex. And come on I have to get you home before I could no longer stop myself”

He’s not lying because you see the growing tent in his crotch. He’s been stopping himself by teasing you. You sat up when he got out of his bed to change into some much comfortable clothes but when he got back, you teased him by putting on a show. Lifting your skirt slowly just before you reveal your panties and as expected, he stopped you.

“Don’t tease me, I don’t have a condom right now” it was a warning but it sounded more like he’s begging.

“I’m just joking” you kissed him on the cheek and got up from your comfortable position to fix your wrinkled school uniform before you head home.

Tonight, you attend a party with Taeyong for the first time and his Love Alarm kept on ringing the moment he stepped into the room.

Every day, Lee Taeyong rings your Love Alarm and you ring his too.... together with the other girls and quite frankly, you don’t know how long you can stand those girls who fantasize about fucking your boyfriend. He’s your own private buffet, for goodness sake.

“Don’t drink anything unless I’m the one who gave it to you, okay? I’ll get you something- Doyoung!” he made sure you won’t be alone and called his friend before he leaves.

“So you’re the lucky girl. Hi, I’m Johnny” he offers you his hand for a handshake and accepted with a smile.

“Don’t mind Johnny, hi I’m Doyoung. Taeyong’s best friend,” you shake his hand and smiled at them, hoping that you don’t look awkward. They made small talk, asked you how you’ve been and how’s your Junior year going so far which you answered too seriously. Soon, you feel Taeyong’s cold hands on your shoulders and hands you a drink before he shoos his drunk friend Johnny away.

It was a fun night, but it can be better if the other girls can respect your relationship. You wanted to snap so hard but instead, you focused on how Taeyong kisses your nape, shamelessly while you watch his friends play beer pong and he’s standing right behind you, hands on the front pockets of your jeans like he’s telling those girls he belongs to you.

But the warm feeling was shortly cut off when they heard Johnny shouting and drunkenly pushing himself to walk straight so he could get a hold of his girlfriend. Everyone heard it. The words, “Johnny were through. I’m breaking up with you” were heard on every corner of the place even under loud party music.

After hearing those words, you looked at Taeyong like you’re telling him through his eyes that you’re scared. But Taeyong and his other friends were quick to get Johnny and stopped him from making a scene.

Everything happened so fast. One second Taeyong was beside you, but now you're in the middle of the place alone and watching your boyfriend and his friends carry Johnny outside.

“Johnny didn’t ring her love alarm today,” Taeyong sits beside you after leaving you alone for a few minutes to talk to his friend. “And if he’s going to be honest he fell out of love. But he wasn’t ready to let her go and wasn’t sure about his feelings, he’s just being paranoid because he’s going to graduate soon” he let out a sharp exhale before he continues, “We're going to graduate soon. I guess Love Alarm caught him having second thoughts for her already”

“Do you want to leave now?” you asked your boyfriend. He can only nod because he still feels weak about what happened to his friend.

The supposedly warm night with Taeyong became cold and quiet. Not because there’s something wrong with your relationship. But because you were both scared of the idea of breaking up. He wanted to tell you he saw the look in your eyes when you heard the words but he figured enough sadness for one night, wrapped his arms around you and told you “I will never let you go” and kissed you on your temple.

Few days after the party is exams week so you and Taeyong didn’t see each other that much. But by the time it’s over, he waited for you outside the school and you know he’s the one waiting for you because he rang your Love Alarm.

While walking to his house, it suddenly rained so hard that the raindrops hurt your skin. But instead of avoiding the rain, Taeyong pulled you in the middle of an empty street and kissed you under the rain.

It was so sweet.

His arms were perfectly wrapped around your body while yours is placed behind his lower back. You tiptoe unconsciously so you could reach him well. “I love you,” he says and lifted you off the ground effortlessly for a tight hug.

“Here wear this” He left some clean clothes on his bed for you to change with while he puts your wet uniform on the dry cleaner.

When you’re finally dry and clean, you cuddle with Taeyong in his bed wearing his big clothes and listening to the sound of rain with no lights on, but the gloomy sky outside.

“I saw the way you looked at me the other night” he started. And you tighten your embrace to him as you remember the words and the whole scenario.

“I'm just scared and not because I’m doubting your love” you admitted. “I never thought about it you know. That things can go wrong someday-“

“No, no. Then I’ll love you, even more, every day. Don’t be scared please, trust my love” he says and kept you close by putting his legs on your thigh. His big hand is placed under your shirt, drawing small circles on your tummy to give you more comfort.

“I’m guessing this is second base then?” you teased him to change the mood.

“Do you want to proceed to that level? Hmm?” he rolls on top of you, teased you, and kissed your neck in a way that seriously turned you on in no time.

“If you’re brave enough to do it, then go right ahead. I give you my full consent” you reached for his lips and kissed him deeply. You felt him smile during the kiss and also felt his hand slowly lifting your shirt or rather his shirt. Hands roaming your body like he never touched you before, squeezing your butt cheeks and kneading your clothed boobs. To be honest, he’s shy to put his hand inside your clothes but to his shock, you put yours inside his, bravely touched his body, and shamelessly put your hand inside his sweatpants and touched him.

That made him swallowed his shyness and knead your unclothed breast under the shirt that you’re wearing. Brushing his fingers on your nipples softly, pinching them to make giggle.

After a few minutes of intense touching, he was slightly tugging the sweat pants that you’re wearing and asked you, “Do I still have your consent if we proceed on third base?” He whispers oh so sexily beside your ear which made you remember what he told you, ‘you’re going to love third base’ and that is enough for you to nod and give him further permission.

He kissed you on the lips, his way of saying ‘thanks’, and proceeds to lift your shirt and suck your nipples which made you moan his name and grip his locks so tight that he needed to reach for your hands and intertwine them with his.

Lee Taeyong showed you who is in bed and you can't help but think that you’re the luckiest girl on Earth.

“Hey, you okay? You’re spacing out, I think should-“

“Don’t stop” you moaned and grabbed his head for a deep kiss. You reach for his hand and made him knead your boobs while you kiss and grind on each other and in a matter of minutes you felt him putting his hand inside your panties while he distracts you with the way he kisses you. He flicks his fingers once and you curled immediately, legs wide open so he could freely move his hand. But soon his patience went thin and removed your panties, throwing it on the side of the bed before spreading your legs even more wider.

“Do you like this side of me?” He whispers on the shell of your ear and bit it eventually making you tickle and giggle with parted lips.

“I definitely do” you moan out.

And for the main event under third base, he kissed your body all the way down until he meets your wet entrance. Kissing your inner thighs first before he proceeds to drive you wild with his tongue.

First, he parted your wet folds, looked you straight in the eye, and licked you like you’re his favorite flavored ice cream. “Tae-“ is all you can moan out and decided to put your hands above your head and grab hold of his headboard. Which he didn’t like so he stopped and told you, “touch me, I like that”

And so you did. Gripping Taeyong’s locks as he makes you feel good with his tongue. Putting a finger inside your cunt and flick his tongue faster together with his finger, making you cum in no time and crushing your boyfriend’s head with your legs. “Stop- stop” you cry out because of over sensitivity. “You weren’t going to stop eating me unless I told you so”

He smirked and hummed because you’re right. He gave you a few minutes to catch your breath, taking that time to strip himself naked without you noticing. And when you finally came back from your high, he kisses your lower stomach and there you see your boyfriend all naked and really horny.

“I want to have sex,” he shamelessly told you, touching your body with care while he waits for your answer. “Can we have sex?” he kisses you more like he’s persuading you.

“Do you finally have a condom?” You asked with a smile.

He did not waste any time and get the condom from his drawer, putting it on in front of you. Putting it on in between your wide open legs and very wet slit.

“Put your arms around me,” he said and you followed immediately. He ran his protected cock on your wet slit, just to make him hard even more but the feeling for you is very different. You are very much aroused, very horny and it already felt good. So when you feel him poke your tight hole and slowly push in finally, your eyes shut close and feel every inch of Lee Taeyong’s cock go inside you oh so fucking slowly until he’s entire inside.

He grunted and moan directly on your ear and told you, “virgin no more” and kissed you on your temple before he rolls his deep which made you both crazy and even more horny for each other.

Your tight walls were so wet because of the foreplay that his cock was sliding in smoothly, hurting you good and stretching you right before he fucks you harder.

“Fucking thin condoms, I feel like I’m fucking you raw,” he said in between thrust and rolling his tongue on your nipple, tugging and biting it as he pleases.

When he sees you smiling through the pleasure and felt your body more relaxed, he put his mouth on your mouth and made you catch his moans as he fucks you harder and faster, enough for his bed to creak, your body to be dragged on the mattress and your nails to dig on his skin.

He came hard and had a great orgasm, slowly thrusting deeper as he rides his high and showers you with kisses. Truth be told, he didn’t want to cum just yet but your tight walls did its magic on him.

The moment he pulls out to discard the condom, he went back to kissing your weak body and told you to “Calm down,” oh so sweetly, and eventually giggled when he saw you still breathing heavily.

“How can I calm down if you’re kissing me like that?”

“Okay I’ll stop,” he says and pulled down your shirt to cover your exposed body, reached for your panties, and helped you wear them again then covered you with his thick sheets. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you” you smiled weakly at him and watched him get dress again before he joins you under the covers.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, hoping that you’re okay. “Are you hurt somewhere?”

“How many girls did you bring here before me?” You watch your boyfriend’s eyes get big upon hearing your question, “I’m joking. And no, nothing hurts. I’m just processing everything that happened. How about you? What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking about you, how I want you to be the last girl I have sex with in this bed” it was a joke because he only brought a total of two girls into his room. His first girlfriend and you.

“Buy a new bed or I’m breaking up with you,” you said with a straight face but he clearly knew you’re joking.

They say that being close with your partner emotionally, physically, and even sexually can strengthen a relationship. And right now, as you celebrate seven months of being in a relationship with Taeyong, you believe in that saying because you’ve been closer than ever after being intimate for the first time. In other words, the sex was a good way to strengthen your relationship.

“Why do you love reading so much?” he asks, totally jealous over reading a good book rather than talking to him.

Taeyong is busy nowadays because he’s graduating in a few weeks and he’s part of the prom committee because he has seriously good leadership skills. That’s why maybe he wanted more attention.

“Oh! I'm gonna miss you when you graduate” you pinch his cheek and sat closer to him. “Will you be fine being away from me?” You teased him but your question was serious.

“No, I will not be fine. I will miss you every day- can we please talk about something else before I start crying?” he attacked you with kisses on the cheek but the moment was cut off when Johnny pullovers to fetch your boyfriend.

“Have fun shopping for prom decorations with the boys rather than being in bed with me” you whisper to him while you both wear your bags and walk towards Johnny’s car.

“I love you, go home safe, okay? I’ll call you as soon as we're done”

During your walk alone, it felt nice to do something without Taeyong for once. Not that you wanted him to be gone, no. It’s just that nowadays, things have been becoming like a routine and less of a relationship. You go to school, see him before class starts, see him again after school, and go home together. Then you do it again the next day. Like you don’t have any more doors to unlock in this relationship.

But what do you expect? You’re high school students.

“Are you done studying?”

“I can’t study tonight, my brain feels tired” you whine through the phone, eyes closed and thankful that it’s going to be the weekend tomorrow. “How about you?”

“Well, Johnny accidentally broke a few lights so we need to fix it before we go home. I’m tired, I miss you”

“Mmm. I’m tired too...” your voice was a little groggy.

“And? Do you miss me too? Can I see you tomorrow?”

“Tae, we just saw each other five hours ago and no, I want to enjoy my weekend by staying home and watching Netflix”

“So you’re not having fun when we're out together?-“

“I never said anything like that” you opened your eyes because the conversation is getting pretty serious, “Don’t be angry, I just want some time for myself you know? We see each other every day, talk through text every hour, it’s like there’s no more room to breathe” you wish you can properly tell him what you’re feeling but those are the words that came out from your mouth.

“Time for yourself, huh. Okay” and just like that, he ended the call. No ‘good night’ or ‘i love you’. And even though you’re sleepy and things escalated quickly, you heard the tone of his voice like a mixture of, annoyed and hurt.

Instead of having a good night's sleep, you stayed up all night thinking about what you said to your boyfriend. Analyzing every word and repeating the scenario in your head, over and over again. If telling him what you want was wrong, then you don’t know what’s right anymore.

On the next day, you sent him a few messages telling him that you’re sorry and that you didn’t mean to put it that way. You even told him you wanted to see him, hoping that he will finally get back to your messages. But still, he never replied. The whole weekend.

Come Monday, you didn’t get to see Taeyong in the morning like you usually would because you and your friends did your group project together last minute. And the truth is, you’re starting to hurt because you feel bad for being honest even though you didn’t intend to hurt him like that.

“I think you’re being too clingy” Doyoung protest to his friend during lunchtime.

“Girls love clingy boyfriends-“

“Well, unfortunately not your girlfriend. Give her some space, don’t make her all about you, you know?”

“I just want every time I could get with her before I graduate. B-but, yeah. Now I’m giving her the time that she wanted for herself-“

“But you’re hurting her. She’s worried, she just wanted you to return her messages dude” Johnny pats his back and gave him the look like he’s saying ‘fix this before Love Alarm screw the situation further’

And while Taeyong is enjoying his lunch with his friends, you’re with your friends at the school bleachers watching the other sections use the field. Talking about hot boys, prom dresses, and what to do after prom.

“Did Taeyong asked you to prom already? Was it romantic?” you see the excitement of your friend as she asked you the question and see the others wait for your answer.

“N-no. He hasn’t” the once cheerful faces were replaced by disappointment. Come to think of it, maybe he will not ask you to prom because of this stupid fight. You shook your head and returned the question to them and pretended that you care who’s taking them. But deep inside you envy them.

School was always exhausted and you don’t know why you’re suddenly tired. Usually, after school and you meet Taeyong outside, you still have a lot of energy left. And maybe that’s it, Taeyong’s cheerful energy and happy aura are the ones recharging you after a day in school. That’s when you realized that you don’t need to push him away just so you can breathe.

Speaking of the devil, you see him leaning on Johnny’s car the moment you stepped out of the school grounds. Head down, hands inside his pockets, and waiting for you.

The moment you stepped inside that 10-meter radius, his Love Alarm rang and he knew it was you. But the problem is, your Love Alarm didn’t ring this time.

Taeyong didn’t notice it. Taeyong didn’t notice that your Love Alarm was silent. He still welcomed you with a tight hug, kissed your face one too many times, and said his sorry sincerely. It felt nice that you are now okay, he’s talking to you again and on top of that he apologized. Of course, you didn’t want to ruin that peace anymore and pretended that you’re not hurt.

Few days went by and Taeyong hasn’t rung your Love Alarm and he’s too busy to notice it. Senior year is making him busy and you have nothing against that. Yes, you do miss him but he calls you before you sleep and quickly apologizes whenever he feels like he’s being a clingy boyfriend again.

“N-no. Please, be clingy. I’m sorry for that night, I don’t know what I’m thinking” you sounded desperate but he doesn’t know why.

“Okay, just making sure we don’t fight again”

And few days before prom, he still hasn’t asked you yet while your friends all have dresses already and plans for that night. It sucks, but you don’t want to get mad at Taeyong for not asking you to prom because he’s busy.

On a quiet afternoon after school, you’re waiting for Taeyong outside the school while reading a book, and page by page you digest every word just so you could stop thinking about prom. And just as you least expected it, your boyfriend asked you to prom on page 127 of the book that you’re reading.

“Will you go to prom with me?” -T.Y

Then it hit you. You started reading this book on the day prom was announced so basically he asked you ever since day 1 and he has been waiting for your answer for weeks already. He just keeps on giving you more reasons to ring his Love Alarm loud proud, while you give him nothing to make him ring yours.

“Finally. Hi”

You didn’t know he was right behind you and his kiss brought you back on Earth. He was smiling handsomely and proud because his surprise worked on you, even though it took you a while to answer his question your reaction was worth it.

“You know my answer Tae. And to be honest I thought you forgot about asking me” you finally admitted, but your lack of faith in him didn’t hurt him one bit.

“Perfectly fine,” his arms swing around your waist and pulled you closer to him while you're sitting on the bench. “I’m free now and I don’t have prom committee duties. Can I flirt with you tonight?” the way he said it sounded just like old times, like the days when you were just starting as a couple.

The flirting was continued in his room of course, with his thick curtains down, Netflix playing and hands intertwined the whole time. And after the movie, you two cuddled in bed with you on top of him and just listening to his heartbeat.

“Does your heart beats for me?” you asked soft, hoping he would tell you the truth.

“Of course, you’re my first love” true. Even though you’re not his first girlfriend, you’re the first girl he ever loved.

“Your Love Alarm says otherwise Tae. I think I’m not giving you enough reasons to love me” you admitted. “You haven’t rung my alarm ever since our first fight”

“W-what? Maybe it’s off?” He was panicking, shaking because maybe it’s true. With quick movements, he left you on his bed to get his phone then looked for your phone in your bag and opened the app to see if what you’re saying is true.

His rang, of course, but yours didn’t.

“Tae it’s okay- It doesn’t matter. You know you proved to me that you love me even if you can’t ring my Love Alarm” you went beside him and hugged him from behind. Feeling his frustration and anger to himself but your hug helps him a lot. “You tell and show me you love me every day. I can feel it in how you kiss me, how you treat me with respect and how you’re always patient with me. Come on it’s okay, don’t ruin your day”

To make him feel better, you talked him out of his sulking and convinced him to go back to bed with you which eventually worked. You’re now sitting on top of him, grinding on his crotch, only wearing your panties and his hoodie. You can tell by the way he kisses you that he’s more than sorry about not ringing your Love Alarm and that makes your heart sad too because he didn’t do anything wrong.

“Let’s turn this night around,” you said before removing the hoodie that you’re wearing and making your boyfriend grip your boobs and play with your nipples while you kiss him and distract him as you undo his pants.

“Clever” and finally he smiles and puts one of your nipples in his mouth, hands inside your panties and spreading your ass cheeks before he inserts a finger in your wet slit.

After that night, Taeyong had a hard timing accepting that he can’t ring your Love Alarm again even though you told him so many times that it’s okay. Sometimes your conversation escalates too soon and he just ends up arguing with you. Soon fighting has become a weekly thing for the two of you whenever he brings up Love Alarm again. But that’s okay, couples fight and that’s normal.

On prom night, you purposely did not bring your phone so Taeyong will not try to make your Love Alarm ring. It’s going to be a beautiful night and you didn’t want to ruin it for him. You danced with your boyfriend and went crazy with him on the dance floor, you dance with your friends and ate good food. In other words, you had a great time.

And when the slow song started to play, everyone’s Love Alarm kept on ringing and people started to confess their feelings. It was amusing to watch and of course, you’re happy for them. But amidst that busy dance floor, that busy place, you and Taeyong had your own 10-meter radius and you don’t need Love Alarm to feel that you love each other.

“I’m sorry for giving you a hard time these past few days” he started, swaying you under slow music and not caring what's happening around you even though people are very loud and excited. “Let’s stop using Love Alarm. That app lies. I know all too well that I love you and even though I can’t ring your Love Alarm, I sure know how to love you”

“Mhmm. You do” oh you wanted to kiss him so badly but the teachers are looking.

“You still love me right?”

“Of course Taeyong. What kind of question is that?”

“I know, I just want to hear you say it” he came closer to you and kissed you on your temple when the teachers looked away, “You look beautiful tonight” he added and dance with you more, looking straight into your eyes and thanking you secretly for liking him first.

Now it's his turn to like and love you forevermore.

#nct-writers #neosmutcollective #cznnet #neowritingsnet #kpopscape #kdiner #kwritersworldnet #neoalarm #nct smut #taeyong smut #lee taeyong smut #lee taeyong x reader #taeyong x reader #taeyong fluff #taeyong angst #nct 127 smut

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wonderful-writes · 3 years

Note

Oooh! For the Charlie Weasley prompt list, 5, 8, and 14, where the reader and charlie have lowkey had feelings for each other for a long time, but then he went to Romania, but finally the reader is about to go into their last year, and they're spending summer at the burrow when Charlie comes back and they talk about being together after the reader graduates

Next Year

Charlie Weasley x Reader

Summary: You had always been close to the Weasley family, and the second-oldest, dragon-loving brother was no exception. He was a few years ahead of you, tall, funny, and ruggedly handsome — all that you could ever want in a boy. It was a shame he didn’t feel the same way. But could one summer together at the Burrow change all that?

Prompts:

5) There’s always next year.

8) I never forgot you.

14) Is that my jumper?

“Y/N! Y/N! Over here!”

You turned to see Ginny Weasley calling to you from the entrance of the Burrow. At her side was a broom and a dustpan. Mrs. Weasley had probably asked her to sweep the front porch.

“Ginny!” you exclaimed, running over to her. You had apparated to the Burrow with nothing but a small suitcase, so it didn’t take long for you to reach her.

“Oh, I’ve missed you so much!” the young red-headed girl gushed as she pulled you into a hug.

“Where is everybody?” you asked when she finally let go of you.

“Percy, Ron, and Harry are upstairs cleaning the bedrooms with Mum,” Ginny answered. “Hermione was helping me out here, but she went inside to grab paper towels for the windows.”

“And Fred and George?”

“They went out with Charlie. I’m not sure when they’ll be back.”

“Charlie’s here?” you asked in surprise. “I thought you said he wasn’t coming. In your letter.”

“Huh, I probably made a mistake,” she said. “I meant to write that Bill wasn’t coming home this summer, not Charlie.”

“Oh,” you said. Part of you was excited to see Charlie again, but another part of you dreaded it. You hadn’t seen him since the end of your fifth year at Hogwarts, an entire year ago. You had finished your fifth year when he finished his seventh, and he headed straight for Romania after that. He had left immediately after graduation, not even staying to spend one more summer with you.

It was not like he had any reason to spend another summer with you. You were only a family friend, after all. The Weasleys had loads of family friends, and you were no different. Charlie probably thought of you like he did Harry or Hermione. But you couldn’t help but wish that he thought of you as something more than that.

You were heartbroken when he left, but you didn’t let it show. You spent that summer with your family, who missed you dearly when you were away at school. You had a happy time, taking trips and enjoying the company of those you love, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that Charlie was gone.

When fall came, you returned to Hogwarts to begin your sixth year. You had school to occupy you — and you were very busy with that, being your studious and ambitious self — but you never let go of the memory of Charlie Weasley. You often looked back at why you fell for him in the first place.

You had met in your first year and his third. As members of the same house, you saw each other frequently and became fast friends. Over the years, you became acquainted with the rest of the Weasley siblings and grew to consider them your second family. You spent parts of your school breaks at the Burrow, and your muggle parents became close friends with the Weasleys as well. It was hard not to fall for Charlie when you were constantly around him and his wonderful family.

Though he was two years older than you, he treated you like an equal, not like some bothersome younger sister. He was kind and respectful and had a love for animals. In your mind, he was perfect. But you never had the courage to tell him so. You were always too embarrassed about your crush and too scared that your feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated. He never showed any signs that he fancied you, so why would you humiliate yourself by admitting that you fancied him?

“I’ll take that for you, dear,” someone said, breaking you from your thoughts. You looked up to see that Arthur Weasley had come out of the house and was reaching for your suitcase.

“Thanks, Mr. Weasley!” you said, handing over the suitcase. “I assume I’ll be staying in Bill’s room since he’s not here?”

“Sure are,” he replied. “He’s been so busy at Gringotts. They just shipped him out to Egypt not even a week ago.” Mr. Weasley smiled broadly, clearly proud of his son.

“Wow, Egypt?” you marvel. “Bill must be some curse-breaker.”

“He sure is,” said Molly Weasley, joining the throng conversing on the front steps. “Hello, Y/N. How are you, dear?”

You stepped into Mrs. Weasley’s outstretched arms and told her that you had never been better. School was swell, your friends were keeping you sane, and there was nothing getting you down. She seemed happy at your reply and led the way back into the house.

Inside, you greeted Ron, Hermione, Harry and Percy. Unlike Ginny, whom you haven’t seen since Christmas holiday, you saw the four the them at school everyday. Percy was a year younger than you, and Ron, Harry, and Hermione were itty bitty soon-to-be second years. You were happy that Ginny would be starting at Hogwarts in the fall. Your last year would be her first, but at least you could go to school with her for one year.

For the rest of the day, you helped the family tidy up the house and prepare supper. When evening rolled around, Charlie, Fred, and George returned from wherever it was they went to. Fred and George said hello to you first, before heading upstairs to work on a new prank idea. Charlie was the last to approach you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said. “Long time, no see.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, looking up at him. He hadn’t changed a bit. Same messy red hair, same freckles dotting his face. He was as handsome as ever. You quickly looked away, feeling the heat creep up your neck. The last thing you wanted was to out yourself on having a crush on Charles Weasley, especially in front of Charlie himself and his family.

“Hey, Y/N!” called Ron. “Wanna play a game of chess before dinner?”

“Sure,” you answer gratefully. You wanted any excuse to distance yourself from Charlie. Being around him only intensified your feelings for him.

After a heated round of chess, which Ron, the strategic genius, obviously won, Mrs. Weasley announced that dinner was ready. Everyone took their seats at the table, you squeezing yourself in between George and Ginny. To your dismay, Charlie chose the chair directly across from you.

He flashed you a smile. You smiled back weakly before quickly looking down at your plate. Act normal, you told yourself. When you still went to school with Charlie, you had gotten the same nervous, fluttery feeling whenever you were around him. After he left to pursue his dream job in Romania, he wasn’t nearby to make your stomach do somersaults anymore. It had been a full year since you felt this dizzying feeling, and now it was all rushing back to you.

“You okay, Y/N?” asked Hermione, who was sitting next to Charlie.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Why aren’t you eating?”

You looked around and quickly realized that everyone had already piled food on top of their plates, but yours was still empty. How long had you been sitting there?

“Right,” you said as you picked up a serving spoon, about to dish mashed potatoes onto your plate. “I was thinking about someone, and I guess I zoned out for a bit.”

Hermione raised her eyebrow at you. “Who were you thinking about?”

You froze. You replayed your words and realized that you had accidentally said you were thinking about someone instead of something.

“Did I say someone?” you asked with a laugh, attempting to pass off your error as a simple mistake. “I meant something.”

“Sure you did,” Ginny teased, winking at you.

You rolled your eyes at her. You acted as if it was all a joke, but you were dying of embarrassment on the inside. You hoped you weren’t being too obvious.

“Pass me the green beans, Y/LN,” Charlie said.

You felt your face burning as you handed over the green beans. Even though you didn’t touch him, extending your hand that close to his sent electricity through you.

“Thank you,” Charlie said cheekily.

You spared him a glance, flashing him a smile. You were trying to act as casual as possible, but it was difficult when your stomach churned every time you looked at him. There was no denying to yourself that you were crushing hard.

After dinner was done, you helped Mrs. Weasley wash up. When everything was cleaned and put away, you headed over to the living room, where Fred, George, and Charlie were playing cards around the coffee table. Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny were talking upstairs, Percy was in his room reading, and the Weasley parents had decided to retire for the night.

“Can I play?” you asked, taking a seat next to Fred.

“Sure,” he answered, not looking up from his deck. “Next game.”

“So, where did you guys go earlier today?” you questioned.

“We just went to town,” George replied nonchalantly. “Fred and I needed to get some stuff for our next prank, and Charlie offered to take us.”

You hummed in response. It made you feel warm inside to know that Charlie was so attentive with his siblings. Family was very important to you, and you were glad it was important to him as well. Just another reason for you to fall even harder for him. Godric, why did he have to be so perfect?

The boys continued to play. The game finally ended when both Fred and Charlie ran out of cards, leaving George the winner. You began picking up the cards and shuffling them, preparing to deal them to everyone.

Before you could complete your task, however, George interrupted. “Actually, Fred and I are going upstairs to work on our new idea.”

Giving them a wave goodbye, you watched as the two younger boys got up from the coffee table and headed upstairs.

“You and me?” Charlie asked, a mischievous smile on his face

“Sure,” you replied.

You handed him his cards, and the two of you began to play. You were both concentrated on the game, and the only noise that could be heard was the sound of cards slapping on the table.

“So, how have you been?” Charlie asked, trying to make conversation.

“I’ve been good,” you responded. “You?”

“Never been better. Working at the dragon sanctuary has been a dream come true.”

You were genuinely happy to hear that he loved his job and his new life. Although, you wished you could be a bigger part of it. Charlie wasn’t much of a writer, and he hardly sent letters to his family, let alone his friends. You had written to him once when he was away, and he had responded. That was the extent of your communication over the last year. You didn’t bother to send another letter, fearing coming off as clingy or obsessed. When he failed to write to you again, you knew you had made the right decision.

“Wanna tell me more about Romania?” you asked, setting your cards down.

“Sure!” he answered enthusiastically. “But can we sit on the couch? My bum is sore from sitting on the floor.”

The two of you moved to the sofa and sat about a foot away from each other. He told you all about his experiences working with dragons. He went into detail about the training process, the proper way to handle a baby dragon, and the different breeds he got to study. You smiled as he talked, enjoying the way his eyes lit up whenever he discussed something he was passionate about.

“So, what about you?” he asked finally. “What have you been up to?”

“Well, I just finished my sixth year, which you already knew,” you said. “I aced most of my exams, I was invited into the Slug Club, and I’m currently working towards becoming Head Girl.”

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Charlie said. “You must be proud of yourself.”

“I am proud. Exhausted, but proud. Sometimes I wonder how I got this far. I look back at all the hard work I put in and still can’t figure out how I managed to do all that.”

“You’re pretty incredible,” said Charlie. “If anyone could accomplish that much, it would be you.” He paused. “Well, maybe also Percy. He’s a know-it-all.”

You blushed at his compliment. “Thanks, Charlie.” When you first told him about your achievements, you were worried he would think you were bragging. But his kind words put your fears at ease, reassuring you that it was okay to be happy for yourself and to want to share your goals and successes with others.

“You know, we should keep in touch more when I go back to Romania,” he said.

“Agreed. We hardly exchanged two letters in the past year.”

Charlie smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I sort of didn’t write to anyone at all. I mean, unless they wrote to me first.”

“It’s alright,” you reassured him. “You were probably too busy taming dragons or something,” you teased.

“I never forgot you,” he said, as if he had to make sure you knew his lack of communication wasn’t personal.

You felt your breath hitch. You knew he was probably only saying because he felt guilty for not sending letters to someone who obviously wanted to, but you secretly wished he had meant something more by those words. Did he miss you when he was away? Or did he just feel bad for cutting off a family friend who was desperate for company? Could he sense how you felt about him?

“I know,” you said. “You don’t have to feel bad for not writing. I know it’s nothing against me.” You really hoped he didn’t pity you or think you were pathetic. Your Gryffindor confidence truly gave out on you when you were around him.

“I-it’s not that,” he stammered. “It’s just, well, um.”

“It’s just what?” you questioned. Since when did Charlie Weasley get so tongue-tied?

“I, uh, I want you to know that I never forgot about you,” he finally spitted out, red in the face. “You’re, you’re different to me.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Was Charlie Weasley, the boy you’ve been swooning over for years, confessing his feelings for you?

“Different how?” you asked, wanting him to get to the point. You needed to know how he felt about you, but you were slightly afraid of the outcome. What if it was all a misunderstanding? What if you had been reading the situation wrong, and he didn’t actually have feelings for you?

“Well, you’re like a friend,” Charlie began slowly. He seemed to have regained his natural confidence and composure. “But more than that.”

You stared at him, unable to speak.

“You’re like family,” he went on, “but I don’t see you as my sister or anything like that. I see you more as someone I could fancy, or rather, someone I do fancy.”

You were dumbstruck. The boy you were head-over-heels for actually liked you back. He had said it himself. He fancied you. No one else, you.

“Could you please say something?” Charlie asked.

You looked down to see him fidgeting with his hands. Was he really that anxious? The calmest person you knew was nervous around you?

“I can’t believe you just said that,” you said, looking him in the eyes. Those gorgeous brown eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, turning red again. “Forget I said anything.”

“No, no, it’s not like that!” you hurriedly told him. “I like you, too.”

“You do?” he asked, breaking into a grin that could make you melt into the ground.

“Yes, I do. I’ve liked you for a long time, but I never had the courage to say anything. I didn’t think you felt the same way.”

“Same here,” Charlie admitted. “I’ve liked you for a while, but it felt wrong of me to say so. You are my friend, after all. Plus, you’re two years younger than me.”

You nodded in agreement. You often questioned if it would be wrong to date someone who wasn’t your age. Would people think weirdly of you and Charlie if the two of you were in a relationship? Would either of you get in trouble?

You couldn’t help yourself from asking, “How long have you liked me for?” You were still flabbergasted and didn’t think you’d ever get over the news.

“Well, I’m not sure. Maybe since my sixth year? Although, it could’ve been before that. We were always such close friends that I didn’t notice when platonic feelings started to turn into something more.”

You nodded in understanding. “I get it. Although, I can’t say it was the same for me. My feelings for you weren’t gradual like that. I knew I liked you all at once. From the moment we first met, actually.”

“Oh, did you?” he teased. “Did you find me that charming?”

“Oh, shut it, you git,” you said while rolling your eyes at him. It felt nice to banter with him without the awkward tension from before. Knowing that he shared your feelings made it easier for you to talk to him.

“So, what now?” Charlie asked you. “Are we dating or...?”

“Well, you have to ask me out first, don’t you?” you said playfully, trying to hide your smile.

He let out a loud sigh. “If I must.”

“Go on,” you said with a smirk. You had missed his goofy side when you were apart from him.

“Y/N Y/LN, will you go out with me?” he asked dramatically.

You rolled your eyes again. “Yes, you doof. I will go out with you.”

He beamed. “Brilliant!”

You smiled back at him, reaching for his hands. You gripped his hands in yours and looked into his eyes. Those soft, brown eyes that never failed to make you weak in the knees.

“But what will your family think?” you questioned, finally breaking his gaze.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Will your family be okay with this?”

“I’ve, uh, already told my parents about you,” you said sheepishly. “They’ve known I liked you for a long time, so they won’t have a problem with us dating. It’s your family I’m worried about.”

Charlie nodded. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell them? Not now, at least?”

“That would probably be best,” you agreed. “I don’t particularly want to deal with their judgement right now.”

Just then, the thudding of footsteps coming down the stairs could be heard.

“Charlie, Y/N, it’s bedtime!” Ron called from the landing. “Mum told me to tell you!”

“We’re coming, Ron!” Charlie shouted back. He turned to you. “So, I guess we’re keeping this a secret?”

“Guess so.”

That night, you couldn’t sleep as you laid in bed. You didn’t have to share Bill’s room with anybody, so you were utterly alone with your thoughts. Part of you was too excited to sleep. You couldn’t believe you were dating Charlie Weasley, the boy of your dreams. But part of you was also terrified of what the Weasleys would say once they found out. You already knew they liked you; you had been a friend of their children for a long time. And Charlie was their own son. But would a relationship be too much?

Aside from your worries about Charlie’s family, thoughts about how to make a relationship with him work also occupied your mind. He would be returning to the dragon reserve in Romania at the end of the summer, and you would be starting your last year at Hogwarts. Would you break up? Would you do long-distance? How would you make it work?

The next morning, everything proceeded as usual. You had breakfast with the Weasleys, along with Ron and Hermione, of course, and helped with the dishes afterward. You spent the rest of the day spending time with everyone, particularly Charlie. The two of you snuck off whenever you could, but it was difficult finding time to be alone with so many people at the Burrow.

The rest of the summer went accordingly. You spent your days playing games with the younger children, helping Mr. and Mrs. Weasley around the house, and enjoying quiet moments with Charlie. During your time alone, the two of you talked, made plans, and fell deeper in love with each other. You were infatuated with him, and he felt the same about you. Both of you dreaded the end of the summer, when you would eventually have to part ways.

You would miss the hot nights laying in the field, counting fireflies together. You would miss the sweet way you held each other’s hands underneath the dinner table. You would miss the rise and fall of his chest when he had fallen asleep on the banks of the nearby pond after a long afternoon of splashing around. You would miss the blush that crept up his cheeks when you caught him staring at you when he thought you weren’t looking. You would miss him, everything about him.

The last day of summer crept closer and closer. Before you knew it, it was your final night at the Burrow. You were set to leave with Percy, Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny early the next morning. A part of you was excited to finally start your last year at Hogwarts, knowing that this would bring you another step closer to your adult life. Some days, there was nothing you wanted more than to be done with school and to start working in the wizarding world. You weren’t sure if you wanted to be a healer or an auror or some other profession, but you knew you wanted to make a difference and do good things for others. But another part of you was saddened. You didn’t want to leave the warmth and comfort of the Burrow. You didn’t want the carefree summer days to be nothing but a distant memory. And you didn’t want your blossoming relationship with Charlie to come to a close either.

It was past midnight, and you were the only one awake. Having had trouble falling asleep, you had gone down to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water. After downing your drink, you had decided to perch on the sofa to contemplate your current situation. Physically, you were exhausted from a long day of frolicking in the fields and slinging rocks into the pond, the perfect end to the perfect summer. Mentally, you were restless as thoughts ran wild through your head. What would happen when you returned to school and Charlie went back to Romania? Your body was telling you to sleep, but your mind was keeping you up. You would be able to sleep on the train the next day, anyway.

“Y/N?” a voice sounded through the silence. “Why are you up?”

You broke free of your thoughts and glanced up to see Charlie staring back at you from the foot of the stairs.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you shrugged. “Went down for some water and decided to sit here.”

Charlie grinned before plopping down next to you. “Well, then, I’m glad I happened to wake up just now. We can have one more moment together before we both leave tomorrow.”

You smiled back at him. “I think one more moment with you is just what I need right now.”

“What’s on your mind, love?” he asked as he draped his arm around you.

You snuggled closer to his side. “Nothing much. I was just thinking about us. What’s going to happen after tomorrow?”

You peered into Charlie’s eyes and found that he looked utterly content, relaxed even. Was he not fazed by the idea of having to leave you?

“Well, you’re going back to school,” he began, “and I’m going back to the sanctuary.”

“But what about us?”

“We’ll do long-distance, I guess,” he answered with a shrug. “I don’t want to break up or anything.”

You smiled at that and leaned up to give him a peck on the cheek. You were glad he wasn’t too worried. It eased your nerves to see how well he was handling this. “I don’t want to break up either. But you better write me, you git.”

Charlie smirked. “Alright, I’ll write you.”

You punched him playfully. “You better.”

The two of you stayed on the couch for a while, just enjoying being close to each other. You rested your head on his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat. Its rhythmic pounding soothed you, let you know that everything was going to be okay.

“Hey, is that my jumper?” Charlie finally spoke, gesturing to knitted red garment you wore.

You grinned sheepishly, looking down at the jumper that hung oversized on you. “I wanted to have a piece of you before we go our separate ways. I didn’t think you’d miss it too much. You have a bunch of them.”

“You can keep it, love,” he said with a grin. “It looks better on you anyway.”

“Thanks, Charlie,” you replied happily. You knew he wouldn’t have minded you taking his jumper, but it was nice to hear him say it himself. Something about the way he said it looked better on you made you cling onto him even tighter.

You and Charlie fell asleep on the couch that night, entangled in each other’s arms. In the morning, you were awakened by the sound of stomping footsteps and rowdy laughter as the other children got ready to leave. Soon enough, Molly Weasley was ushering you and Charlie to get ready as well. She didn’t seem at all surprised to see the two of you sleeping on the sofa together. Like everyone else in the house, she knew of your relationship without having to be told.

Charlie decided to accompany you and rest of the returning Hogwarts troupe to the train station. He didn’t want to miss seeing you off, wanting to say goodbye one last time. By the time you reached Platform 9 3/4, it was finally hitting you that you would be leaving him again. But this time, it hurt a little less because you knew you wouldn’t be leaving behind an unrequited love. You would be leaving your boyfriend, someone who did feel the same way and would never stop caring about you no matter the distance.

Your goodbye was bittersweet. You were thrilled to be parting ways as two people who were dating at long last, but you were dismayed to leave him at all.

“Did you pack my jumper?” Charlie asked as he pulled you into one last hug.

“Sure did,” you grinned at him. “I’m going to miss you, Charlie.”

“I’ll miss you too,” he said, planting a kiss into your hair. “But there’s always next year.”

You finally pulled away and boarded the Hogwarts Express with the others. Sitting in between Ginny and Hermione, you waved out the window frantically as the train pulled out of the station. You continued to wave as the train continued to chug forward until the figures of Charlie, Molly, and Arthur Weasley became nothing but specks on the platform.

Tired from staying up late the night before, you allowed yourself to shut your eyes during the ride to school. As you were drifting off to sleep, the last words Charlie had said to you turned over and over again in your mind. But there’s always next year. He was right. Although you’d be apart for your last year at Hogwarts and his second year in Romania, you had your whole future ahead of you. You had the rest of your lives to be together, so it didn’t matter that you weren’t together now. You sank deeper and deeper into a peaceful slumber, letting the noise of the train inching along the tracks and the thoughts of your future with Charlie lull you to sleep.

#charlie weasley x reader #charlie weasley #charlie weasley x you #charlie weasley x y/n #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #charlie weasley fanfiction #weasley fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction

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britishassistant · 3 years

Text

@emyluwinter submitted: Hi!!With you again a freelance newspaperman who writes about the reporter Yuu and the Prefect!! I am very glad that you liked my little stories so much that I wrote earlier!!! It's very encouraging that my work is appreciated.

So today will be a small addition to the latest events related to the villainy of Crowley in the form of the kidnapping of Yuu's "family" and friends,and after the final" conversation " of the Prefect with Crowley.

Because of the noise and shouting, opening the room with a spare key, several henchmen cautiously look inside. Yuu had already changed back into civilian clothes and put on extra gloves to hide the knuckles on his hands that had been cut from the blows. - Um....chief, how are you? Yuu takes a deep breath. - Your boss should call a doctor. - So we were talking about you, micro-chief, - one of the minions adds, almost in a whisper. - Huh?Why am I a micro-chef? - Yuu looked at them in confusion. - Well...it's like you've just "talked" to the leader of one of the most powerful villains in the League of Villains.. - Plus your uncle, Mr. Cruel. - Your' family ' and friends are all right. We're not crazy enough to hurt them. - I don't really want to have a walrus's heel sewn on my forehead, - one of the henchmen added ruefully. Yuu couldn't believe it. - Are they really all right? - That's right, micro-chief! But please leave before Mr. Cruel breaks us down into test tubes. We want to live. - And I have a cat at home, how can I be without it. So we'll show you to the exit. Yuu chuckles uncomfortably.It was the first time he had felt so strange. Perhaps it was a mixture of shock, fear, and despair, laced with anger and rage. But for a second, he felt all the power that Crowley held in his hands. But now all this was not necessary, only his loved ones were important.

- Thank you..no, really, I'm grateful that they're safe and sound. - Yuu felt that all these minions were no different from civilians, and they just worked wherever they wanted. And now they are worried about the fact that their superiors have made a lot of mistakes. - Your cameraman friend is a great word player! - I lost three rounds in a row to him. Minions distract Yuu with simple and cute conversations. Some of them showed their pets. Yuu was even asked to sign an autograph as their favorite reporter. They were very moved by their understanding. Although for the most part, they behaved so as not to run into even more trouble. ***

TWST Anita hugged her baby tightly. - Oh Yuu, I was worried if you were okay. - Sorry, Mom - Yuu could barely hold on, they were terribly tired for this day and the last thing they wanted to do was go back to the kidnappings and villainies. TWST Roger patted their hair affectionately. - We were tied up just for show. The rest of the time off-camera, we sat on their couch. - He won four games of cards with the guards,- Anita added, chuckling softly. - Well, they're not stupid enough to harm us.- Roger chuckled. Yuu was just glad that they were all right. Yuuken held Grimm in his arms while standing next to them. - You held out well. - I should have burned all his feathers! - Grimm snorted. - And you cheated, Yuuken! You've made up more than half the words! - No, I didn't cheat, the guards told you the words. Yuu took a deep breath, the growing panic attack quickly passed in his parents ' arms and listening to Yuuken and Grimm. Uncle Divus arrived just a few minutes before the lair to make sure they were all right. None of the minions or minions were even willing to leave shadows in his path. "I sincerely apologize, Anita, that that idiot with the feathers would do something like that. Divus said guiltily, looking at his sister. - Don't take Divvy personally, I know that neither you nor Yuu will let us offend anyone. Everything ended well. - Anita said gently. Cruel relaxed a little at the realization that there was nothing wrong with the people close to him. Looking at the tired Yuu,Kruel just silently hugged him and hugged him very tightly. - You did very well, Yuu. I'm proud of you. - Thank you, Uncle Divvy...I think this time it's over once and for all. -I heard from the guards that Prefect beat him to the intensive care unit, but I don't know how he managed to get in. Yuu chuckled mirthlessly - yes, Prefect helped me out when it was most needed. Ah...I saw him get through the vent or something. Roger swore softly. - Damn it, I wanted to get his autograph! - Roger!Why do you need an autograph? - Little kitty King even has one, I also want an autograph!

Grimm uneasily climbs onto Yuu's shoulders and rubs his head against Yuu's cheek. He watched Yuu more closely than anyone else and saw the state they were in. - Hey .. Yuu. - Yes, Grimm? - Let you take a vacation, your hands are shaking like you're not letting go of a jackhammer. - Grimm glared at Yuu. - I absolutely agree with him, Yuu. Honey, you need a break, you have black eyes and you've lost weight since the last time we met. Being under constant stress is detrimental to your health. - Div, what about that country house you were talking about the other day? - Roger immediately joined in, taking up the idea. - I'm driving, so we can all go together. - Yuuken, you'll go too, no objection,- Anita smiled softly. - Yes, ma'am. I'll just talk to my superiors about letting us go for a couple of days. - Weeks at least,- Сruel added. *** Sitting surrounded by at least 15 pups, Yuu felt like he was falling asleep, they were really too tired for everything that had happened. The quiet snuffling of the pups around him brought him back nostalgically to the time when Yuu was just learning to play the piano with his father and, due to his age and height, couldn't reach the pedals below. How he and Uncle Divus would look at all sorts of fashion magazines, and Yuu would try to draw this or that dress or suit with crayons under his uncle's guidance. Even now, he could hear his mother and father discussing something with Uncle Divvy over a bottle of wine and quiet laughter. Grimm and Juuken fell asleep in a couple of minutes lying on the couch. Grimm climbed onto Yuuken's stomach and used it as a pillow.

Only in the evening, waking up from the doorbell, Yuu sleepily opened his eyes, they slept so soundly and well that they did not even notice how one of the particularly daring and playful puppies tried to gnaw his sleeve. - Who's, Uncle Divvy? - Yuu rubbed his eyes and yawned contentedly. Cruel carried several boxes into the room. - Courier with delivery, although it is strange that no one expected a special package. - What's is Divvy? - It came in the name of Yuu. - Me? - After getting out of the trap of the puppies, Yuu looked at the boxes with a puzzled expression. They were all in his name. And then Yuu noticed several small cards attached to the boxes. In the first box were expensive bagels with filling and frosting. It was a gift from Tsunotaro with an apology that they had to go through all this and Crowley had caused them so much inconvenience.

In the boxes from Tsunotaro there was also a basket of wild roses with a very pleasant and subtle aroma. Several varieties of very delicious tea and a letter was enclosed in an envelope. - "The items are very expensive and refined. Who is this secret fan, sweety? - Anita smiled softly. - From a friend, Mom...a very kind and good friend. - Yuu pulled out the letter and sat down on a chair and began to run his eyes over the beautiful written lines. Malleus certainly tried to put all his feelings and sincere empathy into the lines. The letter was very touching and full of grace, but the one phrase that caught Yuu's attention most was the one from the villain. "If you or your loved ones need help, please contact me first. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are, it doesn't matter who I have to stand up against, whether it's villainous or even heroic, I will always help you no matter what happens, my dear and sweet reporter. Your loyal friend and " pink ink was added "and the most important terrible villain" - this must have been Vanruge. ... your loyal friend and loyal fan. Enjoy your vacation, we'll probably take a break for a while, too. " At the bottom was another postscript in pink ink : "One of the minions had the temerity to fall asleep in a den with the windows open. And now in our shelter a flock of birds, rabbits, squirrels and other small creatures that need to be attached" Yuu choked on a laugh as he imagined the mighty Tsunotaro surrounded by all these cute little animals. Finally, this long day gave Yuu something good, at least they will spend a few days with their family and close friends. Finally, the long-awaited rest and a short vacation came. By the way, the bagels with stuffing that were sent were damn delicious. - To bribe me on an empty stomach, up villainy is not otherwise-Yuu grinned, finishing another bagel. Thank you for your attention!

AAAAAAAH, I LOVE THIS!!

The perfect little ending to ease the sad of the last submission!! Yuu getting away with beating up Crowley! Crowley’s henchpeople treating Yuu with more respect and kindness than birb dad does!! Yuu’s dad wanting the Prefect’s autograph!! Forcing Yuu onto a vacation because their family loves them and wants them to feel safe and happy!! Yuuken and Grim going home with them and falling asleep in the puppy pile together!! Malleus’ care package and Lilia’s additions to his note!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS!!

Thank you so much for sending this in!!

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alynomali · 3 years

Text

Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader “𝚏𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜”

A/N : Hi hello i just got into tumblr and this is my first time writing a full on one shot in english because english is not my first language ;( so i’m sorry if there’s any error in my writing but i hope you guys can still enjoy the story :D anyway i’m on an iwaizumi hajime brainrot and i know y’all too so let’s just get into ittt *****

Genre : Fluff

Word Count : 5k

You woke up feeling lightheaded. You brought the back of your palm to feel your forehead that was burning hot hours ago. But after four hours of sleep and taking your medicine, the heat has subsided and was replaced by your normal body temperature. You sighed in relief but you still didn’t want to step up from your comfortable bed. Instead you rolled to the side to grab your phone that was laying on the nightstand, to get some info on school assignment, or any big news that you missed throughout today from your friends because you didn’t manage to go to school. When you turned off airplane mode, tons of messages from your close friend’s group chat rang loudly with multiple ringing sounds, coming one after another. When the ringing finally stops, you open the group chat and skim through the chat bubbles your friends sent, curious to what they are discussing.

“Oh? They lost?” you murmur to yourself after getting an understatement. Today is the match of your school’s volleyball team against Karasuno High School. From the people who went and saw the match, it was pretty intense and they were neck to neck to one another. But in the end Karasuno won and they only a point difference from Aoba Johsai. The further you read the chats, one caught your attention

I saw Oikawa toss the ball to Iwaizumi from the right end of the court and Iwaizumi got to spike it perfectly! That was crazyy

Yeah, but even with that perfect toss and powerful spike, Karasuno managed to get it. Both team are crazyyy

I saw Iwaizumi-kun cried In the hallway, poor him. He must’ve think that that one spike was important

Aww no

You slowly sat up from your bed, while still reading those lines over and over again. “Iwaizumi…” you mumbled to the air. You then checked the clock hanging on your bedroom wall, you saw that it was 7.56PM. ‘He should be home already..’

You heard a knock on your door, and your mom peeked through. “Oh you’re awake! How are you feeling?”

“Great! My fever is gone”

“If that’s so, can you go to Hajime’s house? His mother and father are working late and he probably hasn’t had dinner, so drop these for him okay?” asked your mother while holding a nicely wrapped box probably filled with food.

“Uh yeah okay. I’ll get ready”

It is not a secret. To you, your close friends, and specifically Oikawa Tooru, that you have a crush on Iwaizumi Hajime. This has been going on for a long time, since the beginning of second grade. You got to be in the same class as Iwaizumi. At first you were a bit scared of him due to the somewhat tense atmosphere surrounding him, but turns out, he is the nicest guy you ever met. He spoke in a deep and gruff voice, but there’s so much tenderness in the way he speaks. His arms and hands are big and calloused from playing too much volleyball, but whenever he accidentally touches you, he is always so careful with his grip, or makes sure that he doesn’t touch you in an inappropriate way. His tall figure always towers over your 160 cm figure, but it made you feel secure. And there are many small acts he does to you that always make something in your stomach flip. You know that those are just the way he respects the opposite gender (from your observation), but it still made him so attractive to you. Plus he looks cute and manly although not you can call a worldwide handsome. Also He probably hid a well toned body underneath the layers of cloth he wears. Before you got too far and deep into your thoughts of that man, you quickly shook your head to focus on your current mission right now. Iwaizumi probably is sulking as hell right now and you want to do something nice for him, or maybe just there to give him reassurance.

iwaizumi’s house is just seven minutes walk from your house. Before you rang the bell, you noticed that the gate was not locked. “Did he forget to lock it?” you opened the gate and made your way to the also not locked door. You saw his training bag in the hallway entrance, meaning that Iwaizumi is home. But you were glad that there were no signs of robbery. “Iwaizumi?” you called him. The living room and dining room were clean and empty. Not even a slightest sound was heard. “He’s probably in his room”. You climbed up the stairs and saw that the door of his room is slightly open and you could see him inside drying his hair with a towel, back facing you

You knocked on the door and Iwaizumi jumped slightly. “y/n? How did you get in?”. You sighed, “You left the front door and gate open,”. “Oh.., wait here then I’ll go lock it,” Iwaizumi then went downstairs leaving you sitting alone in his room on his study chair. You’ve gone to his bedroom a couple times but this time it feels different. The room is filled with his scent of cologne and shampoo from his shower earlier. You carefully breathe it in and a blush crept to your cheeks, just in time Iwaizumi stepped back in the room “Okay wha- wait, why are your face red?”

You flustered, “What! N-No I’m perfectly fine! Maybe it’s because of my fever earlier, hahahaha.”

Iwaizumi raised a brow, “Okay? Anyway, why are you here?” he asks as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance from you.

“O-Oh yea, um, my mother made you dinner. She said that your parents will be home late,” you said holding up the wrapped box in your hand.

“I already ate but i guess there’s still space for your mom’s cooking. Say my thanks for her,” you smiled at his words.

“Should I walk you back? It’s dark.”

“What? No, it’s not even 8pm and my house is just seven minutes away.”

“Okay then, thankyou again. Be careful on your way back.”

‘Wait? No no no no, I can’t just go home like this. He’s probably not going to eat his food and be sulking instead,” You stood up. Iwaizumi thought you were going to leave so he grabbed his phone on the nightstand and got comfortable on his bed with his back resting against the headboard. He didn’t sense your figure leaving his room so his eyes left his phone to look at you, “why are you still here? It’s not appropriate for a girl to stay in a boy’s room.”

“You did very well today, Iwaizumi.”

“huh?”

You clutched your fingers, “You did so well in the match today. I’m proud of you. Never think that you lost because of a big mistake. You didn’t make any mistake. You gave your best as you always do. Winning or losing is just a result. What matters is that even if you lost, you still gave all your might in the court. All of your hard work, your sneaky practices at the park in the late afternoon, it’s all worth it. Because you gave it all in the court today. Nothing goes to waste.”

Your voice was stern, but there’s a hint of tenderness in it. Iwaizumi just looked at you dumbfounded . After a while, Iwaizumi gave you a soft smile “Thanks, sorry we didn’t keep our promise to go to nationals.”

“Don’t mind me. That is your promise to yourself.”

“Right.”

After that, you still stood there. Arms crossed on your chest. Iwaizumi eyed you in confusion. “What…? Is there again?”

You then sat on the bed beside him, arms still crossed on your chest, “You’re gonna cry. I’m gonna stay here to accompany you until you’re done.”

“What?! No, I'm fine, you should go home now.”

“I’m not gonna let you be alone until you feel better,” you said sternly

“W-Wha- ugh..” Iwaizumi turned his face to the side, not facing you as he can no longer contain the tears that have been threatening to fall ever since he was greeted by the emptiness of his house. Because of the silence, replays of today’s match became clear in his mind. Every step, every move, every shout of frustration , every cheer of happiness, and the last whistle signaling the end of the game. It was awfully clear, every bit of it, and it made him feel hopeless. Like there’s nothing that he can do. His shoulder began to shake, and you could hear soft sobs. It’s like he’s holding back to scream because you’re there.

You never actually see Iwaizumi cry and now being alone with him is his weakest state flustering you. You did say that you’re gonna accompany him but now you’re confused as to what to do. You stayed silent, just watching him. He still doesn’t face you and his sobs became softer. You don’t like this, he’s holding back so much because you’re there. This is probably supposed to be his time, when he shut his door, turned off the lights, and curled under the blanket. Letting out all of his frustration into anything he can manage. But then you decided to come. You hate to admit it but you ruined his time.

But still, you didn’t want to leave.

So instinctively, you reached out your hand to touch the back of his neck. You can feel Iwaizumi tensed up a little. As he slowly turned his head to finally look at you, you and your hand up further to the back of his head, fingers buried in his soft brunette hair. Iwaizumi’s red and teary eyes looked at you in slight confusion, and you stared back at him with a pang in your heart. Seeing his hurting expression for the first time feels like something stabbed your chest. ‘So this is what it feels like.. when you care so much about someone..’

Without another hesitation, you lean your body towards him and let his head fall on your shoulder. The warmth of his body envelopes you and you can feel the sturdiness of his body. You wrapped both of your arms on his shoulder, trapping him in a hug. Your fingers stayed buried in his hair as you started to give it a soft scratch in an attempt to soothe him. “I said I’ll accompany you. So vent all you want. I’m listening.”

You couldn’t see iwaizumi’s expression. But you could feel his body relaxed to your soft touches and he began to cry loudly, “Damn it! Damn those Karasuno..! I-I too.. I want to go to the nationals too fucking damn it!! I want to go with my friends too… with my juniors.. damnit! Damnit argh!!” you tighten your grip on him cause you feel like he’s going to burst. But you’re glad that he doesn’t move away from you. He was always so physical about these things, but now he just uses his words and emotions.

After some minutes, the hurtful scream and cry gradually turns into a soft sobbing. Your grip around his shoulder soften as Iwaizumi slowly moves away from you. “S-Sorry for ranting and um.. hugging you,” he sniffed and rubbed away the remaining tears leaking out.

You smile, “Don’t worry, but it feels good doesn’t it?”. He chuckled softly, “yeah.”

You fiddled with your fingers on your lap, “I’m sure everyone is feeling the same as you, Iwaizumi. I’m sorry I barged in into your supposed to be alone time. But I just couldn’t help it, I just can’t go to sleep tonight thinking about how you will have trouble sleeping. The others maybe will, but I won’t let you. Because you’re-- um..” you immediately stopped your words. Because just now you were just about to say the thing. Being alone with him and getting caught up in the mood urges you to, but you reminded yourself that you can’t do that, not when he’s in this state.

“What about me?” Iwaizumi tilted his head to the side, eyeing you in confusion.

You immediately shot up from his bed and gave him a wide smile, “Nothing! Anyway, enjoy your food. I should get going now,” you said while pointing towards the door.

“Uh? Oh yeah okay, I’ll open the gate for you,” you were tailing behind Iwaizumi as the two of you were heading downstairs. Luckily for Iwaizumi, you couldn’t see heat creeping up to his cheeks and he is starting to register what just happened between you two.

‘Nah, she can’t be…. Right?’

~------------------------------------------------~

The next day, you woke up from the ringing of your smartphone placed on your nightstand. You didn’t bother to look at the caller ID and just answer, “Ugh.. hello?”

“Did you just wake up?” Iwaizumi’s deep and gruff voice from the other line jolts you up from your sleeping position, “I-Iwaizumi??”

“I want to return the lunch box from last night. I had been ringing the bell but no one came out.”

“Ah right sorry. My parents left early to my grandparents house. I’ll be there wait a second”

When you opened the door you were greeted by the sight of Iwaizumi looking nice and neat in a pair of black jeans and a slightly oversized denim jacket over a grey hoodie. Your breath hitch at the sight of him until he starts talking, “Here” he handed the clean lunch box to you, nicely wrapped as well “The food was good, thank you”

“Yeah, you're welcome. Um.. are you going somewhere?” You asked while accepting the lunch box.

“I’m going to see Karasuno and Shiratorizawa match,” he said, putting his hands inside his pocket.

Concern filled your expression, “Are you feeling alright?”

He smiled softly, “Yeah, I can’t stay bummed out for too long.”

“That’s good then!” You beamed with a smile.

“I’ll be going then. When will your parents come back home?”

“Um.. maybe at night. They said they're gonna be there for a while.”

“And why aren’t you coming with them?” he asks again.

“I’m starting to prepare for the college entrance exam,” you said while rubbing the back of your neck .

“Ah, that’s nice. Well then, goodluck on it. Be careful, if anything happens, call me or Oikawa” he said, turning his back towards you. This soft part of Iwaizumi showing that he cares about you always makes your heart flutter and makes you fell deeper for him.

“Y-Yeah.. thank you..” and with that, you closed the door. You sighed as you tried to calm the loud thumping of your heart.

You mumbled, “Maybe.. I can do it today.. he seems to be in a good mood.”

You looked down towards the ground, thinking hard, “Confession huh…”

~----------------------------------~

Later that day, Karasuno vs Shiratorizawa match ended with Karasuno as the winner thus continuing to the national stage. Surprisingly to Iwaizumi he met Oikawa in one of the seats and now they are walking together out of the gymnasium.

“Hey Iwa-chan~, let’s go grab some food. I’m feeling like shit,” Oikawa said with a scowl on his face, his nose scrunched

“Then don’t come to see the match if you’re gonna be like this!”

“Stop being so rude and treat your best friend nicely for once will ya?!” Oikawa said with his arms folded on his chest.

Iwaizumi sighed, didn’t want to deal with Oikawa’s words any further, “Fine let’s go get something to eat,”

“Yay~! Let’s eat at a fast food restaurant!”

Along the way to the nearest fast food restaurant, Iwaizumi’s mind was wandering everywhere. Oikawa started to notice this because his friend had been bumping into stuff during their short walk. Oikawa bumped Iwaizumi’s shoulder to get his attention. He slightly jolted and he glanced at him, “What?”

“Is there something on your mind?”

“Huh? No, why?”

Oikawa sighed, “Really, Iwa-chan. You should be more honest. You almost stepped on a kid back there.”

Iwaizumi only huffed at Oikawa’s words.

“Is it a girl??”

“Can you shut up.”

“A girl it is!” Oikawa beamed, “Who is it? Who is it??”

“No I’m not thinking of that!” Lies. The truth is he was thinking of you. About what happened last night. About how you gave him the warmest hug he ever received. How you convey your words of comfort to him. He may have kept a dumbfounded face at that time but the truth is thousands of butterflies were raging inside his whole body. He didn’t know if it was because he has a thing for you or if it’s because he was flustered because you’re a girl and he is a boy. He never really thought of fawning over somebody. All he thinks about is just studying and volleyball. Yahaba and Kindaichi always prattle about how much they want a girlfriend but he’s never really into those kinds of conversation. But what if he’s finally getting his first ever love story now? He’ll be damned because he’s never prepared himself for these kinds of things, even though he’s almost 19 years old.

So he decides to swallow hard his ego and eyed his gaudy bestfriend intensely, before he forces words out of his mouth “Um.. O-Oikaw—”

“Oh! Is that y/n-chan?” Oikawa suddenly said as he pointed a finger to get Iwaizumi to also look at where you were standing. Oikawa is about to call you when Iwaizumi suddenly blurted out

“W-Wait! Don’t call her!”

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi confused, but then his lips formed a cheeky grin “Humm?? What’s this?”

Iwaizumi's face turns beet red, “A-Ah! No I-I’m—Um..” Iwaizumi wanted to die instantly at that exact moment because now Oikawa is clearly holding back his laughter. A mischievous grin is plastered on Oikawa’s face as he ignored Iwaizumi and made his way towards you calling out your name, “Y/n-chaann~!”

Iwaizumi gritted his teeth while covering half of his face with his hand “Fuck that shittykawa,”

You were standing on the side, beside the trashcan as you are currently finishing your drink so you can quickly throw it onto the trashcan. Until the familiar voice of Oikawa beamed through the street, making you quickly snap your head to the side to see Oikawa currently walking towards you with Iwaizumi behind him.

“Oikawa! Iwaizumi!”

“Yahoo, what you doing here alone?” asked Oikawa.

“I just came from the bookstore. I’m looking for stuff to help me study,” you answered, throwing your empty drink into the trashcan.

“Me and Iwa-chan are going to eat right now, do you wanna come? Iwa-chan really wants you to come apparently,” Oikawa said wiggling his eyebrows at Iwaizumi.

“HUH?!” Iwaizumi was beating the shit out of Oikawa while you only stood there smiling awkwardly.

“Uhm yeah sure I’ll come.” You answered when they finally calmed down.

“Yay~ okay then let’s goo! And Iwa-chan stop being so jumpy and fidgety will you?”

“I’M NOT! Come on let’s go,” you eyed Iwaizumi worriedly, wondering if you did something wrong. So you reached Iwaizumi's side and asked him “Hey, are you alright?”

“Huh? Oh yeah I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, sorry,” Iwaizumi said as he averted his eyes from you. Iwaizumi is acting weird when you join their walk to the restaurant just now, you didn’t want to think too much into it yet you can feel slight warmth creeping up your cheeks.

“We’re here!” After five minutes the three of them finally arrived at the said fast food restaurant. You offered to find a seat while Iwaizumi and Oikawa went to stand on the line to order. You finally sat yourself down and got yourself comfortable. Unknown to you, Oikawa and Iwaizumi are having their own convo about you.

“Is there something going on between you two?” Oikawa asks.

“…no”

“And I will say this to you over and over again, be honest Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi pondered for a moment before talking in a much quieter tone, “Yesterday.. y/n came to my house.”

Oikawa blinked, “What? Why?”

Iwaizumi grunted, reaching up his hand to rub the back of his neck to somehow ease the heat on his face, “Um.. she actually came to give me food because my parents are home late. And um.. after that…'' Iwaizumi trailed off, hiding his face from Oikawa.

“What! Don’t leave me hanging!” Oikawa then gasps, “Oh my god don’t tell me---!”

Iwaizumi quickly retorts, “No shithead! She just hugged me because she knows that we lost the game yesterday. And um I don’t know how to explain it but at that time, everything feels so intimate and uh- I don’t know…”

“Ohh~ So you’re in love?” Oikawa smirks.

To Oikawa’s surprise Iwaizumi didn’t yell or smack him in the head but only eyed him, “I don’t really know. I mean, I’ve always been so flustered whenever she does something for me. But I don’t know if it’s just because I feel nervous of the opposite sex.”

Oikawa tapped Iwaizumi on the shoulder, “Well my man, it doesn’t matter if you both are the opposite gender. If you don’t feel anything towards her then you will be comfortable in any kind of situation. Don’t worry I got your back, because I know you’re suck at this so I’ll make the chance so you two can have a talk together,” Oikawa said with a wink at the end.

“Ugh.. I can’t believe I’m getting advice from you… you look a hundred times more annoying right now.” Iwaizumi muttered.

“Rude Iwa-chan~!”

Suddenly people around them were silent and started whispering while looking in a certain direction. Oikawa and Iwaizumi stopped their bickering to try and see what’s going on. Not long after, there are two staff coming out from behind the counter to go to a certain table

“Miss, are you alright?”

“We have a change of clothes if you’d like..”

Iwaizumi pushed himself through the people gathering around the scene and saw that it was you. Your outfit was drenched in supposedly a drink, some of the liquid even splat onto the table and on the floor under too, making a mess.

“Y/n!” Iwaizumi goes into full panic as he runs towards you with Oikawa behind.

When they got to your side, Iwaizumi immediately asked, “What happened?! Are you alright?!”

“Yeah.. just now a guy came up to me and tried to ask for my number. I declined it but he just kept pushing me to do so, and I pissed him off so he threw the drink he was holding at me..” you let out a small laugh.

Iwaizumi gritted his teeth and punched his fist onto the table “Where is he now, that jerk!”

“It’s alright Iwaizumi! He already left. I’ll just go and change now, it’s not like things like this never happen anyways,” you gave him a reassuring smile. Iwaizumi looks at you in shock, “I mean for a stranger to hit on me! They are usually never that aggressive. I'll change now okay.” You said standing up from your seat, following the staff to get your change of cloth.

Iwaizumi let out a deep sigh and began to help clean the mess on the table. He shot a glare towards Oikawa who was just standing on the sideline, “What are you doing standing there trashykawa!”

Oikawa only smiled and shrugged, “I just don’t want to ruin your moment. You’d be a good protective boyfriend Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi only grumbled in response.

After all of that commotion, the three of you still sat down and enjoyed the meal. Even though the staff told you three that the food will be at service, you didn’t think it was necessary so you still have your peaceful lunch with Iwaizumi and Oikawa. The conversation you guys had quickly washed away the tense atmosphere. Oikawa and Iwaizumi talk about the match earlier and how pissed they were that karasuno won. But they seem to be a lot more chill than yesterday so you just laugh it off with them. After that the three of you left the restaurant and walked back to your neighborhood.

You were still talking with Iwaizumi and Oikawa along the way. You seem to not notice but you were talking and smiling towards Iwaizumi more, it has always been like that whenever the three of you hung out. You and Iwaizumi always seem to gravitate towards one another and it’s making Oikawa feel like he’s third wheeling. But he’s not mad though, he finds it cute. Now he’ll just have to give both of them a push.

Oikawa halted his track and cleared his throat, “Guys sorry but I need to go somewhere.”

You and Iwaizumi both stopped talking and stopped your track as well, “Why so sudden, Oikawa?”

“No big deal, I just forgot to buy something my sister asked for. You guys can go home!” Oikawa then lightly put his hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, giving him a thumbs up and a big smile, telling him through his head ‘Good luck Iwa-chan!’

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened, mouth went agape, ‘Now?! Wait, I’m not ready yet!’

“Bye you guys~!” Oikawa sprinted to the other direction, leaving Iwaizumi and you alone. ‘Damn that trashykawaaa….’

“Let’s go, Iwaizumi ,” you said softly. Iwaizumi quickly became flustered, “Uhh.. yeah right.”

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence while continuing the walk. You were looking around as you walked while Iwaizumi on the other hand was in deep thought, thinking of how to use this situation to make his move. His train of thoughts were interrupted by the sound of your sweet voice calling out to him, “Iwaizumi, do you want to drop by the park? There is this small taiyaki stand that I want to try.”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi said with a small smile.

It was a quite chilly day and a gush of wind just so happened to pass through you and Iwaizumi. You didn’t have your long sleeved because it was wet from an earlier accident and was replaced by a short sleeved one provided by the staff from the restaurant. They apologize that they didn’t have a much warmer cloth but you reassure them that it’s fine because your house is close by.

In the midst of trying to keep yourself warm by rubbing the side of your arms, you suddenly felt warmth on your back as a jacket draped over your shoulder. You look to the side to see that Iwaizumi took off his outer jacket and gave it to you, “You look uncomfortable, wear this in the meantime,” Iwaizumi muttered softly, trying to press down his embarrassment.

You felt your cheeks heated up, “T-Thankyou..” you slid your arms into the sleeve to wear his jacket properly. It was obviously too big for you and his scent immediately envelopes you.

The two of you reached the park and your face beamed a smile, “Thank goodness not many people here, the other day the line was quite long so I didn’t get it. Come on, Iwaizumi!” you said as you ran happily towards the stand. He smiled softly at the sight of your small figure on his clothes and followed you.

You both sat on a nearby bench eating your taiyaki, “Ah, it’s warm..” you took a bite and hummed in delight. Iwaizumi's heart flutters upon seeing your cute gestures.

“This really worth 350 yen isn’t it, Iwaizumi---” You looked at Iwaizumi and saw that he’s actually looking at you. You froze and felt your heart beat faster at how Iwaizumi looked at you with such adoreness. You went silent for a few seconds, just looking back at Iwaizumi until you whispered. “Um.. is there something on my face?”

“Yeah.. you’re beautiful,” Iwaizumi said softly with no expression.

“W-What?” you were taken aback.

Iwaizumi sighed and looked down to his hands, he fiddled his fingers as he spoke, “I’m not good at this kind of things.. so um..”

You waited for Iwaizumi to finish as your heart beats faster every second making it hard to breathe.

Iwaizumi grunted and rubbed the back of his neck, “Y-You know how you said that you sometimes.. got hit up by a random guy on the street and um.. I was thinking maybe it’ll be easier to brush them off if you.. you uh.. have a boyfriend…”

Your whole face now is red, “O-Okay..?”

Iwaizumi finally faced you, staring into your eyes, “I-I mean to say—I’ll be your boyfriend!”

You went silent and you only stared at him with your mouth agape.

“I have always been so flustered whenever I’m with you, and without noticing I get jealous when a guy approaches you, like I was so mad earlier when a guy—no, I’ll get mad at whoever did something like that to you. So uh.. I’ll be your boyfriend.. if you’d like… so I can always be there for you..” he trailed off towards the end.

You were so taken aback that you just fell silent. Iwaizumi covered his face from embarrassment, “Argh.. that is such an uncute way of confessing, I’m sorry I don’t---”

Suddenly you let out a laugh, Iwaizumi removed his hand from his face to look at you with a pout, “Don’t laugh at me!”

“Sorry sorry! But you are just so cute. I can’t believe you can be this cute,” you said with a smile still plastered on your face.

Iwaizumi grunted, “S-So.. what’s your answer?”

“Hmm.. but I’m kinda upset that you beat me into confessing..”

Iwaizumi’s head snapped towards you, “Wait what?”

“Last night I actually wanted to confess to you, but I thought that the timing would be bad so I’m thinking when I should do it. But it turns out you confess the day after. So I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about you,” you said giggling.

“Well, I guess you do always made me feel better,”

You both fell silent again. Iwaizumi nervously spoke again, “So.. are you saying yes?”

You smiled, giving him a quick peck on his cheek, “Of course~”

Iwaizumi slumped down on his seat, face already overheated, “I guess I have to get used to this..”

~-----------------------------------~

a/n : arrgghh i can’t believe i finish this, more iwa-chan fics will be coming soon because he’s a precious man :D

#haikyuu #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi oneshot #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi haijime x reader #iwaizumi hajime

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writings-of-a-hufflepuff · 4 years

Text

Prompt List #8 - Lines from love letters

All Prompt Lists

All these lines come from a book called ‘The Love of an Unknown Soldier’ which is an antique book that’s essentially a series of love letters from the Great War that were found in a dugout and published. All unsent from a British Officer to an American Nurse he met in Paris. He never told her that he loved her and presumably died before he had the chance.

I was so many times on the point of telling you - every evening after I had left you I accused myself and spent half the night awake planning the words in which I would confess when next we met.

I wonder if you have guessed. Surely I could not have loved you so much without your knowing.

What right have I, who may be dead within a month, to speak to you of love? To have done so would have been the act of a coward.

You, all the time you would have been lonely. All the time you would have been worrying about my safety.

And yet there is still time to tell you. I have only to unhook the receiver and to telephone to you.

Perhaps it was fate; I prefer to think that it was something else.

You’d never guess how long I spent in polishing my belt and buttons. Yes, men are like that.

And my emotions! Shall I be frank? They were awfully muddled. They were made up of longing, hope, doubt and the terror that I might appear absurd.

The longing was all for you.

The hope was that you might share my longing.

The doubt was lest I might have idealised a memory which, when I saw you, would fade into reality. Oh, the heresy of me!

I have spoken of the touch of your hand, but I think it was the sympathy in your eyes that touched me.

I suppose you’ll never know how proud I was to be seen beside you.

I felt so keenly aware of you; your beauty was almost painful.

The paths were slippery; I took your arm at times to help you over places and laughed within myself at its reluctance.

She does care for me a little, I told myself - that thought kept my heart singing after we had parted.

One never hears you coming; you are absent - one looks again and you are there.

You trusted me so much from the very first; is that a good sign from a lover?

Strange, that I should have conquered fear in the front-line, should have lived for days quite calmly with sudden death, and yet should tremble before a girl.

The letter I shall send you will be strictly conventional and not too lengthy - it will be the kind that I might write to any acquaintance of either sex. And yet - yes, that is the thought that troubles me - we may have met and parted for the very last time.

Since you will never read this, I will play a game; I will not send you what I write, but I will speak the truth to you on paper.

I can at least carry the memory of these things back; they are unspoilt by any sadder knowledge.

We stopped so long talking over dinner that by the time we reached the opera the first scene was ended.

I am glad I met you. I am glad of the pain I shall carry back with me.

Your face will be with me, the sound of your voice and the memory of your gentleness.

I shall be a better soldier because we have met.

If I die, I shall die satisfied.

I didn’t have much time to catch my train, but managed to stop long enough to order you some flowers. They were roses, deep red, the colours of the ones you wore at the opera on our last night. I bought far too many for good taste - I bought the way I felt.

How far away you seem - how far everything seems that I have loved.

You’re a captain in rank, aren’t you? Then you’re my superior, for I’m only a subaltern.

There must be more in you than I have guessed; to have left luxury and come into danger just to look after other people’s babies, that took courage.

There’s a sacredness of devotion, which goes deeper than mere beauty.

Do you begin to understand why it is that you seem so far away?

You can weave all kinds of fancies out of our nights if you’re in love and have an imagination. Those white flares, appearing, racing, vanishing, seem to me a phantom-city and make me think of Paris.

The boys came in intending to buy something; they hardly noticed you at first. Then they saw you, stared and tried to spin out an awkward conversation...they’d returned to buy something else. They really returned to get another sight of you.

You fascinated me as well.

What are you? You are drifting away from me, becoming unreal already.

Did you care for me at all, even for a moment?

Did you ever picture the life to which I was going?

Was I only an incident - some one transiently amusing, and perhaps a little pleasant?

For me there was always poignancy in our happiness. The thought was constantly with me of our parting. Something within me kept warning, ‘it is the end - the end - the end.’/

If I had only met you earlier, in the days before war started, I could have made love to you honourably. But not now.

And yet - “I wish I had married my man,” your friend said. It’s a problem. Self-interest dictates that I should tell you. That choice might be more righteous than silence; it depends on you. But because the choice would be selfish I distrust it.

Had you stayed a moment longer I might have spoken the words which were better left unsaid. I think you knew that.

At the cry ‘mail up’ I forsook my dignity and went out on the pretence of seeing that the teams were clear of the position.

For a little while memories travelled back to affections and quiet.

You mean more to me than anyone in the world, yet I have never seen your handwriting. That brings home to me vividly how much we are strangers.

I never knew a man more in love with anybody.

Why didn’t you write to me? I had counted the days and made allowances for delays. A letter might have come yesterday; to-night it seemed certain.

I form so many conjectures...you were busy. You did write, but forgot to post it. You posted it, and it’s held up in transit. Then there are other conjectures of another kind: that you do not care; that the knowledge that I care would come to you as a surprise; that it is the knowledge that I care that keeps you from writing.

When I remember you like that I feel your kindness. You may not care, but you are not careless.

To have known you as I have is more than I had counted on - more than I deserved.

To have had love come to one in the midst of a war, was more than could have been expected.

All my life I had waited for that; then, when one had sacrificed so many human affections, it happened. It was a gift from the gods. Though you may never know, I ought to be contented.

I must not entertain hopes about you. To do so would be weakening.

You have happened in my life - that should be sufficient. To have snatched one last glimpse of loyalty should make me braver; it should be like the sacrament pressed against the lips of those about to die.

I don’t think I will write to you any more, my dear. These unposted letters, written out of loneliness are becoming a luxury which is dangerous. They make the future seem too valuable.

I begin to realise how sweet life is - how glorious we could make it.

A letter from you! Such a jolly letter, so full of yourself! It’s just as though you were at my elbow and I could hear your voice.

I’ve read it how many times? I can’t count. I think I know it all by heart, and yet keep on turning back to my favourite passages.

To save France, Joan of Arc charged on horseback into battle. You go with less drama, but with an equal heroism.

You would laugh quietly and say that I make too much of what you are doing - that it’s really very ordinary.

You can’t love a woman and not gaze into the future. You can’t feel the need of her and be resigned to die.

I wish I knew that you felt the need of me. In the loneliness of this existence the knowledge that there is one woman who cares supremely helps.

I mustn’t think of you too often.

But this is foolishness - one can’t get rid of memory. Since I can’t forget you, I must make your memory a help.

I write you letters which you will never receive, recording the fact that I love you; but I fail to tell you.

I persuade myself, as Benham would have persuaded himself, that it is honest and fine not to confess.

I don’t do the passionately human thing - the thing that Jack Holt did when he won his wife. I act idealistically but, God knows, i’m by no means certain of my motives.

It’s easy to be brave for one’s self, but to have known that you were in danger would have been intolerable.

Could I see you I should find you changed, you say; the sleepless nights have done their work. I expect I should find you changed - as metal is tried in the furnace.

Like every man who loves a woman, the desire of my heart was to shut you up in a cage of unreality.

I beg you to take especial care of yourself. Don’t run more risks than you can help.

My mind is full of you to-day. I have been trying to remember your face, the tones of your voice - all the things that make you you so essentially.

At first, when I feel in love with you, I almost resented your intrusion

I used to mistrust love as a kind of sickness, and yet all the while - I must tell the truth - I longed for it desperately. Love always avoided me.

I wanted to have something so worth giving to a woman: perhaps that was why I was willing to delay.

Then a quaint little picture forms in my brain of you and me alone in a darkened room. There’s a fire burning. You’re sitting in a great armchair; i’m crouched on the floor beside you, my head against your knees.

But one grows weary of being strong; one wants to be loved so badly, just once while there is time.

It’s the feel of you I need, the protection, the security - the sure knowledge that I am yours, whatever happens.

It’s you that I want - the feel of your hands touching mine in the darkness and your arms about me.

I’m afraid i’ve been acting like the traditional Englishman; you’re the greatest pleasure I have and i’ve been taking you sadly. It isn’t much of a compliment to you and I must stop it. Unhappiness is a form of disloyalty.

You came upon me so suddenly; you awakened such longings; your very presence spoke so loudly of a future which, perhaps, I may not share; you offered all that I had once hoped for before I put hope behind me.

Your presence to me was like St. Peter’s shadow to those sick men; it healed me, but it made me long for more than the shadow. The thought that you would walk through other cities where i could not follow, filled me with emptiness.

I realised then what a gaiety would fill my world if I had the assurance that you loved me.

In a vain attempt to make you a part of my world I lie awake imagining half the night. What a foolish heart I have!

How sick I am of my own pose of spurious manliness! What I want is to feel your arms about me and your lips against my eyes, whispering, ‘Mon petit.’

I know at last for certain that I am nothing and you have forgotten me. And yet there was a time when - or do I deceive myself? You could not help writing to me if you have ever cared. You are breaking the news to me slowly by your silence. Perhaps that is the kinder way to do it.

I know that love in one who is not loved, must always seem absurd. I know that I ought to smile and bow in a gallant sort of fashion, excusing myself for having been so mistaken as to have troubled you with my affections. But the men who used to love like that loved lightly; they had scores of years before them to seek their love elsewhere.

I love you as a man loves only once, and I may have but a few hours.

If I come through to-morrow safely, I’ve almost a mind to write you a real love letter. I can picture you reading it, if I were to send it. Those straight brows of yours would draw together. The more impassioned I was, the more puzzled you’d become, It would all be so sudden after my carefully proper letters.

I think of you, as I shall think of you to the end, if the end comes. I do not want you less. I want you more perhaps, only not so selfishly.

And yet there is always you, you, you, to lure me back from death. You with your grey eyes and your intense atmosphere of rest - you with your unconscious womanliness.

Aft4er such a long wait, two nights ago I received your last letter. You hadn’t quite forgotten me. You hadn’t forgotten me at all. You have been ill, but you’re better now.

I dreamt of you last night. It was the first time that this has happened. We were in a garden full of sunshine and roses. You were learning on my arm. We must have been married for some time, for there was no strangeness in our being together. We cam to an old stone summer-house and sat down. You sank your head against my shoulder, gazing up into my eyes, and brushing my lips with your hair.

My heart cries out for you and hears only the silence.

If I come through this, I have made a pledge that I will tell you. The last few months have educated me in taking chances.

I shall never know now whether you would have loved me, or could have been made to care for me. Perhaps you did care, and were waiting for me to give the sign.

It’s the touch of live hands, of lips pressed to lips that counts.

I want to hold you and to say nothing. I want-

#a bit of tragic history that pulls at the heart strings #prompt list #writing prompt list #prompt lists #history #ww1 #world war 1 #wwi #world war i #the great war

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milkbread420 · 4 years

Note

Hey! I just read your Heather hc with Kuroo and Suna and I LOVE THEM! Can I ask for the same idea but with Akaashi and Iwaizumi? Thank you ❤

So I actually did one with Iwa from another request, here is the link to his:

Iwaizumi’s “heather” ✨

Pairing: Akaashi x f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, Angst(?)

Prompt: He has a girl best friend who’s got a crush on him, but he has feelings for y/n (“heather”)

Akaashi

He just rambles about you and he doesn’t really realize that he subtly relates everything back to you

He sees a book you like? He starts to tell her about it. She’s wearing your favorite color? He tells her that (YIKES).

He can be a bit of an overthinker so he’s always asking stuff like ‘do you think I’m coming on too strong?’ Cause he doesn’t wanna make you uncomfy.

HE WRITES POEMS AND STUFF FOR YOU 100%

She always jokes that she’s hurt he never writes poems for her but like,,, she’s not actually joking

He’s like “I thought people only do that for someone they’re in love with,”

“They do,”

That’s why I wanted one

She starts to distance herself from him when you start hanging around more and he’s a little confused and a lot hurt to be honest

He’s definitely wondering why she seems to wanna avoid you and him all the time.

So he confides in his best friend, Bokuto, and asks why he thinks she’s been so distant,

“SOOO you didn’t hear it from me, but she’s crushing on you big time,”

“Oh.”

I feel like he doesn’t REALLY think much of it like,,, it’s not really his fault he doesn’t feel the same way, and he thinks she should just get over it

But I feel like he’d try to stop talking so much about you when he’s with her so he doesn’t hurt her.

That hurts her more though because it makes her feel like he’s pitying her and she hates that.

She admits defeat though, she doesn’t get all crazy or anything

She’s the one who actually ends up telling you how Akaashi feels about you, because she’s certain you like him back.

She knows she should have let him do it himself, but she also knows he was having a hard time working up the courage to actually do it, and part of her just wanted to be able to do one thing that Akaashi would remember.

honestly just wants to see him happy, even if it’s not with her.

“She came to our game last week, and we were up against a tough opponent, but we won,” Akaashi explained, a small smile spread across his lips as he looked down at his hands, “She must be my good luck charm,”

The girl frowned for a moment too brief to be noticed, “Oh yeah? Well, she seems nice, I’d like to meet her soon,” Akaashi nodded and looked up at his friend, smiling a bit harder. She smiled back, thinking his was for her, “What?”

“Your shirt,” he started, “It’s her favorite color,”

Her jaw almost fell to the floor, but she quickly regained composure, “Oh, really? I guess have good taste then,” a nervous laugh escaped her. He was quiet, and she was sure that what she’d just said had gone in one ear and out the other. She sighed and rolled her eyes at the lovestruck boy, “Akaashi?”

He shook himself, “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

“Nope,” she shrugged. Akaashi hummed and his smile grew wider, “You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” she asked, dreading the answer. “I am,” Akaashi said, “She’s wonderful, I really can’t believe someone like her is even interested in talking to me, I don’t think I’m very interesting,” he fiddled with his fingers in his lap as he sat at his desk.

“Don’t say that about yourself ‘Kaashi,” she said softly, “You’re amazing! You’re smart, talented and you’re a great person!” a smile spread across her lips as she sat up on the edge of his bed, “Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“Thank you,” he mumbled, “I hope y/n feels the same way.”

The girl sat in the library with Akaashi and Bokuto across from her as she quietly read a book she’d checked out the day before. Akaashi looked up from his work and smiled, a small huff coming from his nose. Bokuto’s eyes shifted towards his friend and the girl looked up.

“Akaashi! You’re blushing!” Bokuto noted, “Are you thinking about you know who?” he wiggled his eyebrows and Akaashi looked away. The girl’s eyes scanned the room, thinking for a moment that you were there. You didn’t have to be there to make him feel flustered though, just the thought of you made his heart race, and just that thought was enough to make hers sink.

“That’s one of y/n’s favorite books,” Akaashi pointed to the book in the girl’s hands, “I’ve been meaning to read it for a while now, she says it’s good.” The smile lingered on his face as he looked down.

The girl his the frown on her face behind the book. Did he not know better than to compare the girl he liked to the one that liked him, to her face?

“Aw, you gotta ask her out, Akaashi! You’re totally crazy about her, right?” Bokuto encouraged, slapping a hand over Akaashi’s back, “If you wan’t, I can do it for ‘ya!”

“That’s alright, I’d like to do it myself,” Akaashi said, “I’m just worried she might not have feelings for me in the same way I do for her,” he looked at the girl, “Can I ask your opinion?”

She nodded hesitantly, “Sure,”

“Do you think I’m being overbearing by walking her home every day? Am I being too obvious?” He asked, “Do you think she’s weirded out at all?” “Akaashi,” she sighed, “You’re fine, please trust me, you’re literally being perfect, so calm down.” She wasn’t just saying that to blow smoke up his ass, she really meant it, he was acting the perfect gentleman for you, and the blush that spread across your cheeks was never unnoticed by her, even if it was by Akaashi.

Even though she’d just recently met you for the first time, your feelings for Akaashi were so dreadfully obvious; it takes one to know one, she figured.

The girl heard Akaashi’s breath hitch as his head snapped towards the door. She didn’t need to look up to know that you had just walked in.

Akaashi smiled and waved timidly at you, but he wasn’t sure you saw him until Bokuto called you over, “y/n! Come sit with us!” You smiled and waved back at Akaashi as you made your way over to their table.

“Hey guys!” you said quietly, taking a seat next to the girl and across from Akaashi.

“Hello, y/n,” Akaashi smiled, “How are you today?”

You smiled back, “I’m good! How’re you?”

“Great,” he said, “I didn’t expect to see you here so early, you usually come in later.”

The girl almost puked. He kept track of when you got there every morning. Something about that was so simple, but so intimate in a way she wished he’d be with her.

You nodded sheepishly, “I had to come make up a test, and I didn’t want to ditch you after school.”

“What’s this I hear about after school?” Bokuto leaned in, “Akaashi, are you ditching practice today?”

Akaashi coughed, “Yes, I feel a cold coming on,” You giggled and he looked over at you with a proud smile, glad he was able to make you laugh.

“Akaashi! That’s so unlike you! Is your girlfriend a bad influence?” Bokuto teased. You both blushed and looked away from each other.

You wanted to explain, and tell him that Akaashi was just going to help you study for your English exam next week, but you were a bit too embarrassed, and the words fell dead on your tongue. Your loss for words made you feel even more stupidly flustered than before and the girl quickly took notice

“Bokuto, leave the kids alone,” she sighed, looking at you apologetically.

“Kids?” Bokuto scoffed, “They’re only a year below us! You make us sound like grandparents,” he shivered, “I’m not old! I’m still cool! Right, Akaashi?”

“Something like that,” he replied and you snickered. Bokuto’s jaw dropped and he folded his arms, “I’m just messing with you, of course you’re cool,” Akaashi said.

“Hey, hey, hey! Now, y/n, say I’m cool!”

You were still a bit flustered from before, but you managed a small smile, “You’re cool, Bokuto!”

“Cool for a grandpa,” the girl teased.

“Hey! You’re the one who called them kids,” he frowned, “Besides. Akaashi and his girlfriend say I’m cool, so it must be true!” “Bokuto, please use her name instead of calling her that,” Akaashi sighed, a subtle blush dusting his cheeks.

“Yeah,” the girl said, “They aren’t dating,” it came out a bit more bitterly than she’d intended, and she almost felt like she should apologize for it.

Bokuto grinned and leaned in to Akaashi, “Not yet,”

You looked over at the girl, silently questioning the exchange.

She shrugged, “Boys are stupid, huh?”

“So? Is it too much?” Akaashi asked nervously as the girl’s eyes scanned the paper he’d handed her. His handwriting was almost as pretty as him, and she found herself mesmerized by his way with words, “Um?” “It’s beautiful, Akaashi,” she said, “You wrote this for y/n?” he nodded shyly, “She’s gonna love it.” “You think so?” He smiled as she handed it back to him.

“I’m like a million percent sure,” she said, “It’s so freaking sweet, and cute, and- hey! How come you never write things like that for me?” she asked, half joking.

Akaashi furrowed his brows and tilted his head, “Things like this are supposed to be exclusive for someone you’re in love with though,” he explained, “If I wrote things like that for everyone, it wouldn’t be special for y/n anymore,”

She nodded, hiding the way his words wounded her, “Right.” a subtly bitter laugh escaped her, “My bad I’m sorry,”

He shook his head, “No need to apologize,” he looked up from the piece of paper in his hands and smiled as he caught a glimpse of you across the schoolyard, waiting patiently for him by the exit. Akaashi smiled and looked back down, feeling butterflies in his stomach before he turned to his friend, “Okay, I’m going to give it to her,”

“Good luck, ‘Kaashi!” She cheered halfheartedly.

“Get your girl, Akaashi!” Bokuto’s loud voice startled her from behind and she snapped her head towards him with a frown, “Oh, hey! You’re here too!” He grinned. She watched Akaashi approach you hesitantly. He gently tapped your shoulder and smiled handing you the poem he’d written for you. “Do you wanna get closer so we can eavesdrop?” Bokuto suggested with a raised brow.

“That’s kinda wrong though, isn’t it?” She folded her arms over her chest. “Not if they don’t notice!” Bokuto grabbed her wrist and pulled her along towards you and Akaashi.

She rolled her eyes and frowned. It wasn’t that it was ‘wrong’, she’d usually never pass up an opportunity to eavesdrop on someone else’s personal conversations, but to be frank, she didn’t really want to know the details of Akaashi’s love for you. She’d read enough in his heartfelt poem, but there she was, being shoved behind a bush by Bokuto as they listened closely.

“I wanted you to have that, I’ve been working on it for a while,” Akaashi said, a bit nervous, “I wrote it for you, so I hope you like it,” a soft, closed-eyed smile spread across his lips as he looked at you,

“That’s so sweet of you, Keiji!” You grinned, a faint blush tainting your cheeks as you looked at your feet, “Thank you so much, I feel really special,” you giggled, looking at the piece of paper, but not reading it yet, “I’ll read it when I get home, is that alright?”

“That’s perfect,” he said.

Bokuto frowned and folded his arms, causing them to rustle against the bush. Akaashi and your heads snapped towards the sound and he pushed you behind him defensively.

“Bokuto!” the girl whisper-shouted, “You scared them!” “Shhh!” his hushing was louder than she was, and it made Akaashi frown, but breath a small sigh of relief.

“Bokuto, I see you behind there, you can come out,” he said, relaxing the arm that had went to barricade you behind him.

You smiled at him, ignoring the other two, “You protected me, Keiji, even if it ended up being just from Bokuto,” you got on your toes and hesitated for a moment before kissing his cheek. His eyes went wide for a moment, then he relaxed. “Of course, y/n,” he said, coughing into his hand to hide his furious blush.

“Hey! We’re still here y’know!” Bokuto frowned.

“We?” Akaashi raised a brow.

The girl popped out from behind the bush as well, “For the record, this wasn’t my idea,” she said, “Sorry y/n, sorry Akaashi,”

“It’s alright!” you laughed.

Akaashi shrugged, “Well, we should go before it gets any later, it’s already dark, your parents probably want you home, right?” you nodded, “Right, then let’s go,” he waved his friends goodbye and smiled at you one more time, “Thank you for coming to our practice tonight, I think I did a lot better with you there, maybe you could try coming to more of our games, I do better when you’re there too,” he suggested. You nodded happily.

The girl really wished she hadn’t come to snoop on you guys. Akaashi had never invited her to his games, she always just showed up, or Bokuto would invite her.

He certainly never smiled at her like that either.

Laughter filled the air. Something Akaashi said had made you crack up, and his attention was trained solely on you as he watched your reaction with adoration. The girl didn’t even know what he’d said that was so funny, she wasn’t paying attention, but she took notice of how your smile seemed to light him up inside.

Recently when you were around her, all she could think about was how worthless she was in comparison to you. She felt guilty for feeling that way, you’d never given her a reason to feel that way, you’d never been rude to her. She actually liked you a lot and she was sure you could be great friends.

If Akaashi weren’t in love with you.

That alone changed everything. She was nothing to him when compared to what you were to him. He looked at you like you were made of diamonds and gold and everything precious, and if you were made of all those things, then she was made of dirt and cobblestone; she was there, but what purpose did she serve if no one admired her, if he didn’t admire her?

“I think I’m gonna head out,” the girl said, feeling like she was talking to herself.

Bokuto was the first to acknowledge her, “Aw, okay, see you at school on Monday!” He smiled. She forced a smile onto her face, “Yeah,”

“Oh! You’re leaving?” You asked, “Do you want us to walk home with you?”

The girl shook her head, “It’s not dark yet, don’t worry about it,” she wished you’d make it easy for her to hate you.

“Let us know when you’re home safe then,” you smiled.

“Yeah,” she wished it were Akaashi saying that.

“See you later,” was all he said.

“Yep,” she said back.

The girl waved goodbye to the three of you and left the small cafe. It was usual for her, Bokuto, and Akaashi to hang out there on Saturdays, but you’d joined them that week. She liked your company, but not when you were Akaashi’s company too.

“I think I’d better go too, I have some errands to run, I’ll see you guys later!” You told them.

Akaashi stood up as you did, “Alright,” he said, “Would you like to do this again next weekend?” You nodded and he smiled, “Great! I’ll talk to you later, y/n, be safe,”

“Bye Akaashi!” you smiled and waved, “Bye Bokuto!” they both waved at you and smiled.

“Catch ‘ya later y/n!” Bokuto grinned, and as you stepped out of the building. He turned to his friend. Akaashi’s expression was strange, he looked almost confused, “You good there?”

“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, “It’s just, do you think she’s avoiding us?”

Bokuto tilted his head, “Who, y/n? No way! She’s crazy about us,” he smirked, “especially you,”

Akaashi shook his head with a light blush, “No, not her,”

“Oh,” Bokuto realized, “Well, can I let you in on a little secret?” Akaashi quirked a brow, “So, basically, she and I were talking a few days ago and she told me that she likes you,” Akaashi narrowed his eyes, “Don’t tell her I said anything though,”

He was a bit taken aback, “She knows that I’m not interested though, why would she do that to herself,” a frown formed on his face, Bokuto chuckled, “The heart wants what it wants, Akaashi,” he said.

“I suppose it does.”

The girl sat on one end of Akaashi’s living room sofa, and he sat on the other. They looked at each other, neither of them speaking for a while. She kept her eyes trained on him and his gaze didn’t waver either. It was strange and left an uncomfortable feeling in her chest.

“So,” she started finally, “How are things going with y/n?”

He nodded and shrugged, “Good,”

She frowned, “Just ‘good’? You usually never shut up about her,”

“Well, I don’t wanna bother you,” he said.

“Why would it bother me?” She laughed nervously. He looked at her with eyes that spoke louder than his words, “Oh,” she bit her bottom lip, “You know?” He nodded. “Well you don’t have to feel bad for me, it’s not your fault I feel the way I do.”

“I know that, but maybe if we shouldn’t talk about y/n,” he said. She couldn’t tell if he was just looking out for himself or if he was trying to be sensitive. The latter seemed more logical.

That pissed her off.

“I don’t want your pity,” the girl hissed, “I already told you, Akaashi, you don’t have to feel bad for me,” she said lowly, hee arms folded over her chest.

“I’m sorry,” “Stop!” “Stop what?” Akaashi looked hurt.

“Stop apologizing like you did something wrong!” She was shouting. She didn’t mean to, but everything was rubbing her the wrong way in that moment, if he so much as breathed wrong, she thought she might explode, “I’m gonna go,” she grumbled, standing up and grabbing her jacket.

Akaashi sat there for a moment wondering what to say, but by the time he’d figured it out, the door to his house had already swung shut.

“Hey, y/n!” The girl called out as she jogged to catch up to you.

“Oh, hey,” you smiled, stopping in your tracks and turning to face her, “What’s up?”

“Do you have a minute? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about,” she said hesitantly. Something about her demeanor made you feel uneasy.

Your face fell, “Oh,” a forced smile crept onto your face, “I’m getting in the way of you and Akaashi, aren’t I?” you asked, “Look, I’m really sorry, but I like him a lot, I don’t think I wanna back down,”

She laughed at herself for being so obvious about her feelings, “Don’t worry,” she sighed, “I wasn’t going to ask you to back off,” a shaky breath escaped her, “He likes you a lot too, actually,” she said, “that’s what I was gonna tell you,”

“Oh,” you said, all other words falling short, “Oh,” you said again, “I’m so sorry, I feel like an asshole,” The girl shook her head, “Don’t,” she said, “I wasn’t being very clear,” she smiled, “I know I should have let him tell you and all, but for some stupid reason he’s really worried that you don’t feel the same way...” she trailed of when her eyes met Akaashi’s as he neared the two of you, “I have to go, y/n, I’ll talk to you later,” she quickly excused herself without giving you a chance to say anything back. Your face fell, and Akaashi’s hand on your shoulder startled you briefly.

You watched as the girl receded into the darkness, she looked sad and the way she walked was lonely, as though she’d never been able to walk side by side with someone, like she was always trailing behind. You felt guilty. If your roles were reversed you might not have given up as easily as she did. She was a good person, she wanted him to be happy so badly that she forfeited the rights to her own happiness.

Slowly, you turned towards Akaashi.

He noticed the troubled expression on your face, “Are you alright?” he asked worriedly, “Did you catch a cold while waiting for me out here? I told you that you don’t have to wait for me,”

“That’s not it,” you said quietly.

He furrowed his brows, “Did I do something wrong then? Whatever it was, I’m-” “Akaashi, I don’t think I’m the right person for you,”

His heart stopped beating for a moment.

He forced a brief smile onto his face, “Right, I understand,” he looked at you sadly, “I’m sorry, I should have realized you weren’t interested,”

“No, that’s not it Akaashi,”

“You don’t have to sugarcoat it, I can handle the truth, y/n,” he said.

“Akaashi, I really don’t mean it like that,” your voice was pleading and your eyes flashed with nothing but honesty, “You’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, really you are, but-” “But you don’t see me as anything more than a friend, right?”

“But there’s someone else who deserves you more than I do,’ you corrected.

He frowned in confusion, and the expression ever so slowly dissipated as he realized who you were talking about, “y/n, I don’t have any feelings for her, and you can’t force me to because my heart is already set on you,” a smile spread across his lips, “That poem I wrote, it wasn’t just for you, it was about you, if you hadn’t figured that out already,” he said, “and I meant every word, I’ve truly never felt this way for someone.” Akaashi took your hand in his and you drew in a sharp breath as his face inched closer to yours, his lips quickly brushing yours before pulling away. You smiled and giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close. Your eyes sparkled and his did too, but it wasn’t the stars or the moon that made them do so, it was love in it’s purest form. Akaashi’s arms slid around your waist and he held you against him, his head fell into the crook of your neck and a huge smile spread across his lips as his eyes fluttered shut. When he opened them again, they were met by another pair in the distance.

The girl offered him a half hearted smile and a thumbs up, mouthing, ‘I told you so,’

She told him it would end up like this, she told him you liked him back; she told him so.

He was never the one who needed to be told, though.

#akaashi keji x reader #akaashi hcs #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq #anime #akaashi keiji #akaashi

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spine-buster · 4 years

Text

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 26

A/N: I don’t usually say stuff like this but y’all can thank me later for the ending.

TW: mentions of covid-19

March 10th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was about to show Camden around Scotiabank Arena.

“Don’t touch anything that’s not yours to touch, okay?” she warned him as they were just outside the doors to the arena. She looked down at him to make sure everything looked okay – that his hair was nicely brushed, that his shirt wasn’t wrinkled, that his pants weren’t drooping, that his shoes were tied – before she bent down. “I mean it. We’re taking extra cleaning protocols because of this coronavirus thing and you don’t want to make extra work for the cleaning staff, right?”

“Right,” he nodded his head. “Don’t worry, Aberdeen.”

“And no touching the sticks. The guys are super-finicky about their sticks.”

“No touching the sticks.”

“And no touching anything in their stalls, either. A lot of them are superstitious so if one thing is off, they’ll know.”

“No touching the stalls.”

“And no touching the—”

“No touching!!!” he yelled, clearly getting the point. “Can we go inside now?”

Aberdeen was nervous. But Camden was a good kid. She had confidence that he wouldn’t embarrass her. “Yes, we can go in now,” she said, about to get back on her feet. And then she remembered. “But one last thing—”

“Aberdeeeeeeeeeeeen!”

“The most important thing,” she said over him. “You cannot tell anyone William Nylander came to our house for Christmas and you cannot talk like you’ve met him before.”

Camden nodded his head. “I knooooow. William spending Christmas with us has to be a secret always and forever. I get it. Can we please go inside now so I can see everyone before mom and dad get here?”

Aberdeen smiled. What a kid. “Let’s go,” she said, standing up and putting her arm around his back as they walked into the arena together. Aberdeen flashed her fob to open the door and led Camden towards the elevators, taking it up to her office. Camden was looking around at everything – everything was big and shiny and very sports-y, and he knew that if he was good, Aberdeen would take him to the Raptor’s locker room too.

“Heeeeey,” Brendan smiled as he saw Aberdeen ushering Camden into the office, getting up from his seat. He’d never seen Aberdeen look so proud as she did as they walked into the room. “How you doin’, buddy? Remember me? The candy man from Christmas?”

Camden nodded his head. “Hello Mr. Shanahan. I remember you,” Camden held out his hand.

Brendan chuckled as he shook his little 11-year-old hand. “You’re just like your sister. Very formal. She wouldn’t call me Brendan for months.”

Camden looked up at her. “Yeah, mom and dad make sure we always call people mister and misses. If we didn’t and mom heard about it, she’d have a fit. Same with dad.”

“My mom was the same way, you know. I think it’s because they grew up in Belfast,” Brendan winked.

“Probably.”

“So what do you want to see, bud?” Brendan asked. “I don’t think you want to see the offices, right? But not a lot of the guys are here yet.”

Camden looked around at Brendan’s office. He clearly had something on his mind, though he seemed a bit nervous to say it. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

Camden bit his lip slightly. “My sister told me the guys get to eat here if they want to. But where do they eat?”

Brendan had the most amused look on his face. Aberdeen couldn’t help but chuckle from behind Camden too. “You want to go see catering?”

“I guess so.”

Brendan shook his head. He loved kids. “Then we’re going to catering.”

***

Camden, Aberdeen, and Brendan went to catering. Camden met the head chef and got to stir some onions and garlic frying in a pan as the base for the pasta sauce that night. He even helped set the menu, deciding to go for grilled chicken for the guys. He originally suggested fried, but the chef told him the guys needed to eat clean and that if they had friend chicken, John Tavares would get mad at everyone for eating it, because they would eat it.

They saw Kyle, who brought them out into the empty arena, and brought them all the way down to ice level where Aberdeen was able to take some pictures of him on the empty ice, on the Leafs bench, and even in the penalty box. Camden got a kick out of it all, and got less shy and more boisterous as the minutes passed and Brendan and Kyle allowed him to do funny things. He was even able to see the Zamboni. He was smart enough not to ask if the man tending to it was David Ayres.

When they were back in the corridors of the arena, Kyle looked down at Camden who was practically skipping through the hallways. “I heard your sister got you a pretty cool Raptors jersey for Christmas,” Kyle said.

“Yup!” Camden nodded his head. “A Kyle Lowry one. He’s the coolest. I wore it on my first day of school back from Christmas break and all my friends thought it was soooo cool.”

“Do you want to go into their locker room?” Kyle smiled, already knowing the answer.

Camden’s eyes lit up like the fourth of July. “Can I?! For real?!” he asked.

“For real,” Kyle nodded. “Come on, let’s go. Maybe we can get a picture of you in Kyle Lowry’s stall.”

Fireworks were practically shooting out of Camden’s eyes as they walked inside of the dressing room. He looked at every stall and every player’s name written at the top. The only thing he could keep saying was “This is so cool!” and “Oh my God!” Aberdeen hung out at the perimeter of the room as she watched him, letting Camden get the full effect. He kept looking back at her and smiling from ear to ear, clearly not believing anything was real. Aberdeen would smile back and urge him to keep looking.

Suddenly, she heard a door open from behind her. She turned around quickly to see who it was and make sure she wasn’t in the way, but realistically, there shouldn’t have been anyone else there besides them, so she was skeptical. When she saw who it was, her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. “Oh, hello Miss Bloom!” Masai greeted her after he’d poked his head through the door. He had a casual sports jacket on with a plain black polo shirt and a nice pair of pressed slacks. “How are you?”

“I’m fine Mr. Ujiri. How are you?”

“All good here. What’s the occasion?” he asked, nodding his head towards Kyle, Brendan, and Camden.

“That’s my little brother Camden,” she said, only to see Masai’s smile grow. “I think he feels like he’s won the lottery right now.”

“Camden?” he clarified the name in a low voice. She nodded her head before watching him close the door and step into the locker room confidently. “Hello Camden!” he beamed.

Camden whipped his head around. When he saw that it was Masai Ujiri, his face dropped. Brendan and Kyle smiled. “Masai Ujiri?!” Camden yelled.

“That’s me! Are you having fun?”

Camden didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t formulate words, and he couldn’t move, and the step forward he took was mute when he froze in place because he didn’t think it was polite to hug Masai Ujiri, so he just sort of stood there in a weird stance with his jaw on the floor until he could formulate one simple word. “Hi.”

Everybody laughed. Masai made his way into the room. “You’re a big Raptors fan? Who’s your favourite?”

“K—K—Kyle Lowry,” Camden stuttered out.

“Good choice,” Masai smiled. “Do you want a picture in his stall?”

Camden could only nod enthusiastically. He walked towards the stall, and Aberdeen knew it was her cue. She took out her phone and began snapping pictures of him standing, sitting, pointing at Kyle’s name – everything. Camden had the biggest smile ever on his face. Then Masai posed with him too, and an even bigger smile appeared on his face. It was all so cool. And then—

“Hey! Who’s that in my stall?”

A shiver went up Aberdeen’s spine. From his spot in the stall, Camden’s face dropped again – if it was possible, even more this time than when Masai walked into the room. She turned around to see the man himself, Kyle Lowry, walk into the room. “What’s up, buddy?” Kyle asked, smiling from ear to ear.

“K—Ky—Ky—” Camden couldn’t get his name out. “K—Kyle—”

“That’s me. You having fun?” he asked. Camden nodded. “Have you ever been in here before?”

“N—No Mr. Lowry, I—I’ve just s—seen it on TV,” Camden stuttered out.

“Who’s Mr. Lowry? Call me Kyle,” he said as he walked towards him. “You excited to be in here?” he asked. Camden could only nod his head. “You watch us at home?”

“I watch you at home with my dad all the time,” Camden said, which was true. They’d watched almost all the games last season (until Camden’s bedtime, naturally), and he stayed up past his bedtime for all the playoff games. This year, he and Mirza were continuing the tradition.

“Do you have a jersey to wear while you watch them?”

“Aberdeen gave me a jersey for Christmas.”

Everyone laughed at his innocence. It was only then that Aberdeen noticed a jersey draped over Kyle’s shoulder. Even she was freaking out, because she knew how much this meant to Camden. “So I guess you don’t want this one then?” Kyle asked, pulling the jersey off his shoulder. He opened it up to reveal a vintage-style jersey, one with the original logo. He took a Sharpie and asked Camden for his name and how to spell it before writing it on the jersey and signing it. “You want a picture, buddy?” Kyle asked. Camden could only nod. He was too shocked. Aberdeen was glad they were being so patient with him.

They posed together with Kyle’s stall in the background, and then Masai joined in, and then Aberdeen got in, too. Camden was rendered speechless. When they were led out of the locker room, Kyle and Masai said goodbye before they disappeared into the elevator. Kyle said a few parting words as well since he had to take an important phone call before the game. Brendan left Aberdeen and Camden alone to go to his office, expecting Orla and Mirza anytime now. It left Aberdeen and Camden alone, with Aberdeen knowing Camden was still star-struck by what just happened.

“Ab—Aberdeen,” Camden said finally, once the men were gone. He was clutching onto the jersey so tight, like it would float away.

“Are you alright, Cam?” she asked, bending down on her knee so she could look him in the eye.

He shook his head. “I w—wasn’t ready for that,” he said, his voice shaky. “I didn’t—I didn’t look like a loser, did I?”

“What? No way!” she exclaimed. “Camden, you never look like a loser.”

“He was so cool Aberdeen! I mean he’s Kyle Lowry!” he said as he began to cry.

“C’mere,” she cooed, wrapping her arms around him tightly and pulling her brother in for a big hug. “I know it was overwhelming, but that’s okay! You just met your hero! I bet if any of your other friends met their hero, they wouldn’t know what to do either,” she said, trying to get him to calm down.

As Aberdeen continued to hug her brother, rubbing his back so he’d calm down a bit, she heard people making their way up the stairs, and soon, she saw William and Auston making their way up. William noticed her first, looking her straight in the eye even though Auston was talking to him. When Auston noticed him not responding, he looked and saw Aberdeen.

“Hey,” William greeted them, looking at her skeptically. “Everything okay?”

Aberdeen nodded her head against Camden’s shoulder. “Camden just had a big moment,” she said, giving them both a look. “He just met Masai Ujiri and Kyle Lowry.”

Both William’s and Auston’s eyes bulged out. “Ooooooh, wow!” they cooed together. “Dude, that’s so awesome!” Auston said, sounding excited, trying to make Camden as comfortable as possible as Aberdeen let go of the hug so Camden could face Auston and Willy.

“I’d be the same way, bud! Don’t worry!” William said as he noticed the nervous and embarrassed look on Camden’s face as he wiped away whatever few tears fell. He noticed the jersey hanging from Camden’s other hand. “Is that it?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Let’s see it,” Auston said gently.

Camden unfolded it gently, as if the autograph would rub off. When the guys noticed that it was a vintage jersey, they commented on how cool it looked. And when they finally saw the personalized autograph, they were all but screaming. “I don’t even have one of these, bud!” Auston exclaimed. “You’re sooooo lucky!”

“Yeah, me neither!” William joined in. “You’ve gotta frame that or something.”

“I gotta show all my friends at school first,” he said. The more Camden calmed down, the more he came to his senses. He took a second and third look at the men in front of him – he of course noticed and knew William, but it was Auston who he finally realized was standing in front of him. “Holy moly, you’re Auston Matthews!”

Auston giggled. “Yes I am.”

“You…you’re the coolest!”

“Thanks, bud,” he said. “Has your sister brought you into our locker room yet?”

Camden shook his head. “Not yet. There was nobody here yet so we went to catering.”

“Catering?!” William was shocked. “You brought your brother to catering?!”

“I told him how you guys could eat before the game and he wanted to see!” Aberdeen tried to defend herself.

William shook his head. “Come on, Camden. Let’s see who’s already here.”

With Auston leading the way and Camden in front of him, William looked back at Aberdeen behind him and winked at her. “By the way Aberdeen, how do I look?” he asked.

She smiled. “You look like if the song ‘Africa’ by Toto were a person.”

Auston threw his head back and cackled loudly like a seagull. William shook his head. Camden looked back at his sister. “What’s Toto? Isn’t that the dog from the Wizard of Oz?”

“Don’t worry about it, Cam,” she said.

Camden was nervous as they approached the doors of the locker room, so he waited for his sister to be near him before he stepped through. When he did, he was wide-eyed and amazed; he couldn’t believe he’d just been in the Raptor’s locker room and now he was in the Toronto Maple Leafs’ locker room, too. Most of the guys were actually already in the room, but luckily they were not in various stages of undress yet. Morgan was the first one to notice them – it was his first game back from injury, so his energy level was off the charts. “Aberdeen!” he yelled her name, giant smile on his face. His eyes moved to Camden. “Who’s this?”

“This is Camden, my little brother,” she said, introducing him. “Camden, that’s Morgan Rielly. He’s one of our alternate captains and it’s his first game back tonight.”

“What’s up, Camden?” he asked, smiling gently.

“Hello Mr. Rielly.”

“Camden just met Masai Ujiri and Kyle Lowry, so he’s a bit shocked at everything right now,” Aberdeen said, making a face at Morgan that Camden couldn’t see.

Morgan got the hint. “That’s the jersey then, huh?” he pointed to the jersey still in Camden’s hands. Camden nodded. “Isn’t Kyle just so cool?” Morgan asked.

A smile spread on Camden’s face. “He’s my faaaaavourite,” he said.

“Me too.”

“Do I hear a Bloom brother is here?” Tyson’s voice boomed from the other end of the locker room. Aberdeen watched him walk through the door with a big smile on his face. “What’s up?! You must be Camden!”

“Hello Mr. Barrie.”

“You excited for the game tonight?”

Camden nodded. “It’s my first ever hockey game.”

“First ever?! Okay, we gotta make it extra special then,” Tyson smiled. “Where are you sitting?”

Camden looked up to Aberdeen, because he didn’t have a clue. “Mom, dad, and Camden are sitting in row 20 at centre ice,” she said. “If he’s good he’ll be back after the game too. But only if he’s good.”

“Hey! I’m always good!” he objected.

“I’m not sure about that.”

***

As Aberdeen sat with Brendan in the box, she noticed him checking his phone a lot more than usual. It was especially peculiar because this was a game against Tampa Bay – a very good team and many saw this as a must-win for the Leafs, especially since they won their last game against Tampa Bay on her birthday. And like with the game in Ottawa, when Siena was there, and on her birthday, when he scored that insane between-the-legs goal, William was just showing off. He was playing great, and had scored a goal in the first period. Aberdeen knew he was hamming it up for her and her family, knowing they were in attendance.

When Auston scored in the third period to get the score to 2-1, Brendan was happy but it didn’t last long. He began furiously typing away on his phone. She wondered if there was a problem with one of his kids or with Catherine. He usually wasn’t this distracted during games.

“Is everything okay, Brendan?” she asked once the final buzzer went. The Leafs had won 2-1 and she thought he’d be much happier.

He pursed his lips together, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head. “Trying to keep up on the coronavirus,” he said. The media had already been put at bay and weren’t allowed close to the players anymore. She wondered if new restrictions were being implemented and the media wrote a pissy open letter demanding access again. “It’s not looking good. I mean, the entire country of Italy is in a fucking lockdown. They can’t control this thing.”

Aberdeen heard that news yesterday. It was a shock to her, mainly because she didn’t think it was possible an entire country could go into lockdown. But the north was getting rattled by it, and it seemed like the only logical thing to do, however draconian it was. She had a lot of Italian friends from high school whose family were still in Italy and were affected by it. “What do you think will happen?” she asked.

“Don’t know,” he said. “I mean…it’s getting serious. Really serious. And I’m not convinced it can be contained like we all hope it can be,” he said.

“What do you think will happen with us?” she followed up.

“If…ah, I honestly don’t know, Aberdeen. They could postpone games by a few days. I mean, I think that’s the worst-case scenario right now – everything being delayed by a couple of weeks.”

Aberdeen bit her lip. “Yeah…I guess that’s totally worst-case scenario.”

“Absolute worst-case scenario,” Brendan repeated. “Do I think it will get that bad? I don’t know. I don’t think so. But I have no clue about these things.”

“What…I mean, the directive has to come from the league, right?” she asked.

“Of course. It always comes from the top down. We’ll see what happens. We can’t worry about hypotheticals.”

Aberdeen nodded. He was right. “So I guess I’ll see you on Wednesday when Nashville is in town?”

“You betcha. Let me walk you down and say goodbye to your family.”

***

Aberdeen had barely taken her shoes off when she got into her condo before she felt her phone buzz in her hand.

can i see u?

She couldn’t believe him. But at the same time, she could.

You’re lucky you can.

i’ll be there in 5

She took the five minute opportunity to change out of her work clothes and take off her makeup. When the calling buzz rang from her phone, she immediately let him in. Within minutes, he was knocking at her door, and she was letting him in like she always did.

“How’s your brother?” he asked as he took off his shoes.

“He’s fine,” she smiled slightly, liking that William was asking about him. Camden had returned to the Leafs locker room after the game (if the media found out, she knew they’d have a hissy fit since they weren’t even allowed back there, but Brendan didn’t care) and Auston gave him his game-worn jersey, which all the guys ended up signing. By the end of the night, all of the excitement of the day and the game had caught up to him, and he was practically falling asleep standing up. “He was tired by the end but I could tell it was the best day of his life.”

“He’s a cute kid,” William commented. “You guys are alike, you know.”

“How?” Aberdeen was curious.

“You’re both…like, pure. You both light up the room when you enter it,” he smiled. The shy smile on her face was his favourite. He approached her, not wanting to wait any longer. “Is Kasha home?” he asked before he put his arm around her.

“No. She’s with Evan tonight,” Aberdeen said.

“Sleeping over?”

Aberdeen nodded, a smirk on her face. “Aren’t you a lucky boy.”

William smiled. “The luckiest boy in the world,” he mumbled, wrapping his other arm around her and pulling her against his body.

“You always know the perfect opportunities to show up,” she said. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re in cahoots with her as to when to come over and get in my pants.”

William chuckled, leaning down. “In cahoots?” he mumbled against her lips. “The only thing or person I’m in cahoots with these days is you, minskatt.”

“Not Rasmus?” she asked.

He grumbled at her before deciding to get her to be quiet by kissing her. When his lips planted on hers, she let out a slight gasp before wrapping her own arms around his shoulders, kissing him fully and sticking her tongue down his throat in no time at all. As they kissed in the middle of her kitchen, William slipped his hands underneath her shirt and up to her bra, feeling her breasts through the cotton fabric. “Bedroom?” he asked.

Aberdeen nodded. “Please.”

***

March 11th, 2020

Good afternoon. In the past two weeks, the number of cases of COVID-19 outside China has increased 13-fold, and the number of affected countries has tripled. There are now more than 118,000 cases in 114 countries, and 4,291 people have lost their lives. Thousands more are fighting for their lives in hospitals. In the days and weeks ahead, we expect to see the number of cases, the number of deaths, and the number of affected countries climb even higher. WHO has been assessing this outbreak around the clock and we are deeply concerned both by the alarming levels of spread and severity, and by the alarming levels of inaction.

We have therefore made the assessment that COVID-19 can be characterized as a pandemic.

***

Aberdeen’s brows were furrowed as she and Kasha watched TV, the both of them feeling like they were in the twilight zone or something. The basketball game was supposed to have started, but never did. People were rushing off the court. Nobody knew what was going on, and the announcers were just speaking in hypotheticals. It was all very confusing – that is, until, the headline came:

Rudy Gobert tests positive for coronavirus.

The girls couldn’t keep their eyes off the TV screen. Now the Utah Jazz and the Oklahoma City Thunder were being quarantined inside the arena and being tested. Just the other day, Rudy Gobert was making light of the entire situation and touching all of the reporters’ microphones after his interview with them. Now he had the virus.

“Oh my God,” Kasha muttered as she looked down at her phone.

“What? What’s going on?” Aberdeen asked.

“Tom Hanks just announced he has it,” she announced, looking up.

The girls looked at each other, speechless.

***

“Did you hear the NBA has suspended their season?” Aberdeen asked as she lay in her bed, holding her phone along the pillow as she looked at William through the screen. He was doing the same thing. His disheveled hair and sleepy blue eyes would have made her swoon in any other situation, but right now, she wasn’t swooning.

“Yeah,” he nodded. He noticed she was wearing the hoodie that he left there by accident last night. “It’s crazy. I mean it’ll probably be for the next few days until they have everything under control, you know?”

“Yeah,” Aberdeen said, but she wasn’t so sure. “What do you think the NHL will do?” she asked.

“No clue. Maybe they’ll suspend the next few days of games too, just to make sure everything is under control too. We’ll probably have to get tested. I heard they stick something all the way up your nose,” William said. There were a few moments of silence between them. “Are you scared, minskatt?”

It was the first time somebody actually asked her that question – asked her if she was scared. Everybody talked about it but nobody ever stopped to ask if she was actually scared. She felt herself nodding her head. “A little bit,” she admitted.

“Don’t be scared, minskatt. I don’t want you to feel scared. But I’m here if you want to talk about it. You know that, right?”

She nodded her head. “Are you scared, Willy?”

He nodded too. “Yeah. A little bit.”

***

March 12th, 2020

Aberdeen had an incredibly early morning. She actually went into the office at 7:30 in the morning because Brendan requested she be there for some additional prep and to scribe the minutes of the meeting taking place with the NHL and the Board of Governors. With a tired body but overactive mind, thinking about all the possibilities that could happen, her fingers moved a mile a minute across the keyboard as she sat with Brendan and Kyle. Up until this point, everything in the league was carrying on as normal, despite the NBA postponing their season not even twelve hours prior. She knew for a fact other teams around the league were still preparing to hold practices because those who were on the call said so and asked about it. The Nashville Predators were already in for a morning skate, and the Leafs were going to have their practice right after.

When the decision was made, and all that needed to be done was tell the players before the statement was drafted and released to the media, Brendan took a long, hard, exasperated sigh. He rubbed at his temples and let his pen drop from his hand. He leaned back in his chair before he looked at Aberdeen. “All the guys are present and accounted for in the locker room. We have to go and tell them.”

The thought of having to tell the team was daunting. She knew it wasn’t her that was going to be delivering the bad news, but it would still be disheartening just being in the room and seeing their faces drop. They’d probably have so many questions and Brendan and Kyle wouldn’t have any answers for them. She looked at Kyle to see if he could offer her any solace but he was rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses. “What do you think they’ll say?” she asked.

Brendan shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. “Who knows. But nobody will be happy. I know that much.”

As they made their way towards the locker room, Kyle texted Sheldon to make sure all the guys and all the personnel were congregated in the locker room to hear the announcement. With the Predators also being there, Aberdeen knew there’d be overlap. So many of them knew each other so she wondered if they had already gone to see each other.

When they got into the locker room, everyone was waiting like kids in class. Aberdeen locked eyes with William and moved off to the side as Brendan and Kyle stood at the front of the room. They were told the news.

“For how long?”

“Even practices? I mean this is just going to be for a few days, right?”

“Are they releasing a statement?”

“Did the league say anything about making up the games?”

“When are we going to start again?”

“Does that mean the season is being extended even further into the summer? Doesn’t that delay next season? What about the CBA?”

“What’s the PA have to say about this?”

“Is the PA making a statement too?”

“What do we do with our equipment? Our stalls?”

We don’t know.

“Listen, the only thing we do know for sure is this: it’s been classified as a pandemic now by the World Health Organization and it’s spreading quickly. This thing can’t be contained. With Gobert testing positive last night, it was only a matter of time before this thing affected us, too. We share so many locker rooms with NBA players. It might already even be in our league and we don’t know it,” Brendan said.

“Schools have already announced an extended March Break. Nobody knows a lot right now but what we can tell you is that we’re going to listen to the public health officials and their advice,” Kyle said. “We’re hockey players – we’re not epidemiologists. If someone tells me to stop playing a full-contact sports to stop the spread of a highly infectious diseases even the world’s best epidemiologists still know very little about, I’m going to listen to them.”

“So what do we do now?” Morgan asked.

“Go home. Until you’re given further directives from us, go home and stay home.”

***

"In light of ongoing developments resulting from the coronavirus, and after consulting with medical experts and convening a conference call of the Board of Governors, the National Hockey League is announcing today that it will pause the 2019-20 season beginning with tonight's games.”

"The NHL has been attempting to follow the mandates of health experts and local authorities, while preparing for any possible developments without taking premature or unnecessary measures. However, following last night's news that an NBA player has tested positive for coronavirus -- and given that our leagues share so many facilities and locker rooms and it now seems likely that some member of the NHL community would test positive at some point -- it is no longer appropriate to try to continue to play games at this time.

"We will continue to monitor all the appropriate medical advice, and we will encourage our players and other members of the NHL community to take all reasonable precautions -- including by self-quarantine, where appropriate. Our goal is to resume play as soon as it is appropriate and prudent, so that we will be able to complete the season and award the Stanley Cup. Until then, we thank NHL fans for your patience and hope you stay healthy."

***

When Aberdeen got home, the news had just been announced that Sophie Gregoire Trudeau, Justin’s wife, had it. The anxiety Aberdeen felt only multiplied. Kasha wasn’t home when she got home – she was at work, obviously – so it was just her alone with her thoughts, and it wasn’t going well. Aberdeen prided herself on watching the news and keeping up to date with current events, but the doomscrolling she was doing on her Twitter and the CNN feed she turned on in the background wasn’t helping.

Then she heard the buzzer for her apartment. That could only mean one thing.

“Are you feeling okay, minskatt?” William asked the first second he saw her, which meant she was unable to ask him why he showed up at her place.

“I…I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’m scared, Willy.” Knowing it was still mid-day and that Kasha was at work, he took the opportunity to move closer to her and engulf her in a hug. Her arms were pressed between their bodies as he hugged her tightly. She took a moment to take in his scent and compose herself and try to snap out of all the doomscrolling she’d just done. “What are you even doing here?”

“I needed to see if you were okay. Plus I left my hoodie here the other night and—”

He was interrupted by her phone ringing loudly on the kitchen countertop. They both looked down at it and saw Brendan’s name flash across the screen. A pit formed in Aberdeen’s stomach. She let it ring a few more times before reaching out to pick it up and answer it. “Hello?”

“Did you have contact with anybody from Nashville today?” he asked, not bothering with formalities. “Including staff.”

“Y—Yes,” she said. She had seen and spoken with a bunch of the staff about the situation as everyone was packing up and going home. She was ruminating how it would be more dramatic for them to fly home whereas the Leafs just had to drive. “Why?”

She heard him take a long breath. “We’re getting information about precautions and what you can do to minimize the spread and exposure, and…listen, Aberdeen, the government and every public health official is instituting a policy of a fourteen day quarantine period—”

“Quarantine?! What do you mean quarantine?” she asked.

“—Immediately.”

“Immediately?!”

“It means no leaving your house. At all. For anything. You…you can’t leave, Aberdeen.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She didn’t know what to think, how to feel, anything. She was void of emotion. “Oh my God.”

“I know. Believe me. The entire country is going into lockdown. This is more serious than I could have ever imagined. I’ve gotta call the rest of the team to let them know.”

He hung up the phone. She looked over to William. She knew he’d heard Brendan through the phone. And before she could even utter a word, his phone began ringing. Brendan’s name flashed across his screen this time. He looked her in the eye as he answered. “Hello?..........Yeah. Yeah I caught up with Filip Forsberg for a bit, some of the other Swedish guys too……….okay…okay…what do you mean quarantine? Like stay at home? But like, if I’m out—I—okay, go home immediately? Yeah yeah, I’ll drop everything..........Fourteen days?...Uh, I guess so. I mean I have no choice right?......Yeah I’ll be fine. I’ll have groceries delivered like I always do……Yeah…Yeah…Okay. Bye Brendan.”

They were both speechless.

***

Aberdeen called Kasha. Kasha was going to take the opportunity to stay at Evan’s place for fourteen days, and would be by after work to pack, during which Aberdeen would lock herself in her room. Aberdeen didn’t know how Kasha would be able to hide a fourteen-day stint at Evan’s place from her dad. But then again, Aberdeen was hiding William from everybody. They both had secrets.

Once everything was arranged, she could finally look at William sitting on her couch. She didn’t even know if he had clothes. Underwear. Anything. She looked at him. “Does this mean we’re living together for fourteen days?”

William couldn’t believe what was happening, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but smirk slightly. “I think it does.”

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cto10121 · 3 years

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Mercutio and Romeo’s Battle of Wits: Or, the Mercutio-Romeo-Benvolio brOTP

Or, Mercutio Misses Romeo Something Fierce As His Main Bro Because Romeo Is Not A Whiny Wimpy Stick-In-the-Mud and Is Actually Very Fun To Be Around and Benvolio Is Good and All, but He’s Just Not The Same(tm), You Know?

So the first half of Act 2, Scene 4, when Mercutio and Romeo have a game of wits before the Nurse enters gets cut or abridged a lot, for obvious reasons. The double entendres and witty Elizabethan wordplay are very difficult for even great actors to convey them to an audience, and they don’t seem to serve a narrative or thematic function apart from “two bros just being bros!!!” That bit of the scene just feels like filler safely cut or abridged in order to jump to the Nurse’s entrance and thus the plot. R&J the play, after all, is long; the whole play done completely is usually touching three hours. Cuts are always necessary, and for the most part it’s justifiable.

But I’m not going to lie, I like this bit a lot. Always have. Not only do we get Mercutio’s attitude toward Tybalt and his growing concern over Romeo’s love doldrums, but we get another side of Romeo hitherto unknown to us: Romeo being witty and fun and actually roasting Mercutio good, even besting him in a game of wits. And Mercutio actually being happy about it and just surrendering the battle to Romeo (!!!) What is this cinnamon roll of an exchange, too pure for this world, doing in an otherwise heavy tragedy? Are Romeo and Mercutio out of character just for some punny times? Not at all! The punny times are entirely necessary narrative and thematic-wise, sets up the tragedy, and shows needed nuance and dimension to both characters and the Montacrew in general.

Where the Fuck Is Romeo Seriously, I’m Getting Kinda Worried

So we begin the scene with Mercutio right away wanting to know where Romeo is:

Mercutio. Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight?

Benvolio. Not to his father’s, I spoke with his man.

Mercutio. Why, that same pale, hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.

It’s really hard not to read even a little bit of concern in that first question past the bluster, but in case you missed it, Shakespeare makes it explicit by having Mercutio blame Rosaline and worrying that Romeo’s love for her is driving him crazy. Once again, we get the sense that Romeo was not really himself pre-Juliet, and that, according to Mercutio, this is something to be concerned about.

We then segue into news that Tybalt has challenged Romeo via letter. Benvolio expresses confidence that Romeo would fight him, but Mercutio has doubts:

Mercutio. Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead! Stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow boy’s butt shaft—and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?

Once again Mercutio switches to troll mode and characterizes Romeo’s love angst over Rosaline as him “being dead” (“the ape is dead!”)—which would be dramatic, to say the least, except that the tone is humorous/satiric. But it does betray an anxiety on Mercutio’s part and gives the understanding that whatever Romeo’s infatuation with Rosaline was, it was not “typically” Romeo, at least according to Mercutio and by implication Benvolio, since he doesn’t challenge it. When Romeo finally enters, Mercutio continues his satiric portrait:

Benvolio. Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!

Mercutio. Without his roe, like a dry herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified!

We get it, we get it, Romeo has turned a lameass pussy by ~love. But unbeknownst to Mercutio but knownst to us, Romeo is not the same guy of previous acts. How will Julietsimplord!Romeo react to Mercutio? This is going to be good.

Mah Bruh is Back and He’s…Fucking Roasting Me?

So we get the first encounter.

Mercutio. Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s some French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.

Romeo. Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?

Mercutio. The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?

Romeo’s greeting is polite, open, but unconcerned, perhaps a bit breezy, perhaps humoring. Notice how Romeo before has given Mercutio a ton of slack for his satiric mocking—his only critical comment so far in the play is “He jests at scars that never felt a wound,” which can read almost as dismissive (this in contrast to Benvolio’s worry that Mercutio would anger Romeo by talking about Rosaline lewdly). Either way, he responds to Mercutio’s acerbic queries about him ditching them straightforwardly and without heat.

Romeo. Pardon me, good Mercutio. My business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.

Mercutio. That’s as much to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.

Notice how Mercutio doesn’t ask Romeo directly about what his business was, but rather assumes that it was sexual (“bow in the hams,” to flex his butt cheeks). Again, typical of Mercutio, but it does justify a little why Romeo, at this point in the story, does not immediately tell Mercutio and Benvolio about Juliet. And also why he says this instead:

Romeo. Meaning, to curtsy.

Mercutio. Thou hast most kindly hit it.

Romeo is 100% trolling here, doing a Mercutio, in fact by pretending to take another meaning—oh, yeah, you obviously mean curtsying, right???? This marks the first reply in which he doesn’t answer openly, but instead answers slyly. Mercutio answers accordingly with an equally troll-y, “Oh yeah, that’s definitely what I meant, super PG” *snort*

Romeo. A most courteous exposition.

Mercutio. Nay, I’m the very pink of courtesy.

Romeo. Pink for flower.

Mercutio. Right.

Romeo. Why, then is my pump well flowered.

My Burton Raffel edition, infuriatingly enough, only gives one definition of “pump” as shoe, but make no mistake—Romeo also obviously means “dick” (the pump, I think, being the “head” part of the shoe, and thus….you get the idea). Mercutio is immediately excited—Romeo is speaking his language now.

Mercutio. Sure wit, follow me this jest now till thou had worn out thy pump, that, when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain, after the wearing, solely singular.

Romeo. O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!

Mercutio. Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faint.

Romeo. Swits and spurs, swits and spurs, or I cry a match.

Mercutio. Nay, if our wits run the wild goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five.

Barely does the game of wits begin when Mercutio seems to give up, and now Romeo is the one urging him playfully to keep going or else *he* wins. Mercutio could just be joking about needing to be “rescued” by Benvolio, but he does say explicitly that nah, Romeo is just too witty today to continue to “chase” the joke, or the goose (“wild goose chase” eventually became a cliché all on its own, and it’s really just a throwaway line).

And now for my absolute favorite Romeo retort:

Mercutio. Was I ever with you there for the goose?

Romeo. Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for the goose.

“Was I ever with you for the game?” “Bitch, you weren’t with me for anything but the pussy!!!!!” “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”

Mercutio. I will bite thee in the ear for that jest.

Romeo. Nay, good goose, bite not.

“I’ll fucking jump you for that” “A pussy jump on me??? Oh no, I’m ~scared” 🤣

Mercutio. Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.

Romeo. And is it not, then, well served in to a sweet goose?

“Your game has some spice, bro” “Like the spice they’ll put on you after cooking your ass????” 🤣

Mercutio. O here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell narrow to an ell broad.

Romeo. I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.

“You’re stretching that joke so damn much it’s going to break” “As much as I’ll stretch your stupid ass out because you’re the joke, bro!!!!!!” 🤣

And then comes the end of the game of wits with the final twist:

Mercutio. Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo, now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature.

“Jokes on you, bro, I’m into that shit!!! (Seriously, though, glad you’re back, bro, omfg, finally)”

Conclusions

So now for some wrap-up:

Mercutio in the beginning of the scene thinks the Romeo he knew is lost or “dead” by love. This has been established before in the after the ball scene, but here it is explicit—The Romeo he knows is gone and replaced by a pussy all over Rosaline’s pussy. Not good. There is also more than a trace of concern and worry—Mercutio is the one who asks for Romeo, and not Benvolio, the guy’s own cousin.

Mercutio is not upset by Romeo beating him at the game of wits and in fact gives in rather too easily. It’s not too clear why Mercutio does this. Mercutio has been established as a witty, satiric character. Romeo is as verbally dexterous as he is, if not more so, but his wit is warm and expressive, not satiric. His roasts and shade are playful and good-natured for the most part. By all accounts, Mercutio should have won the skirmish. It could be that he is too happy with Romeo actually making witty puns to care about winning, but personally I think Mercutio would be too proud of his verbal acrobatics, to concede that easily and make himself a willing target for Romeo’s roast (especially since he has roasted Romeo so damn hard these past scenes). It’s not like Mercutio to go easy on Romeo or even anyone, as he proves with his roasting Tybalt and even ragging on Benvolio. It could be Shakespeare is slyly characterizing Mercutio as a character who can give it out, but not take it, hence his backing down so easily, (“Okay, okay, you win!”) but usually that type of character responds with impatience and even anger. Mercutio’s replies are too amused for that. Perhaps he was too surprised by Romeo suddenly taking a page out of his book after scenes of him just angsting—to his perspective, but not ours, this does seem to come out of nowhere. But his replies don’t sound like someone who is surprised at all by this show of wit by a good-natured friend—on the contrary, it is taken as proof that the friend is back.

By the end of the exchange, Mercutio believes Romeo is more himself again. Not entirely, as he does cast further shade on his infatuation with Rosaline, but he is genuinely glad to see Romeo act more like himself again. We are once again reinforced with the notion that the mopey Romeo with Rosaline and even the radiantly lovestruck Romeo with Juliet is not the Romeo his friends have known. We receive proof of this: Romeo can and will throw shade over you for a song.

Not going to lie: I am here for all of this.

So I think it’s fair to conclude, based on the above information, that Mercutio has missed Romeo, perhaps something awful. His constant ragging on him for Rosaline and being mopey (lovers aren’t even supposed to be sad, wtf man) and his asking for him and just generally talking almost exclusively about him (that could just be his supporting character role, though) supports that. His joy at Romeo roasting him also characterizes a key component of their friendship and dynamic hitherto missing or not as present: Jokes, teasing, puns, wordplay, outright roasting when called for.

Not only is bro bonhomie clearly established (brohomie!), but also the macho culture—this exchange is far from locker room talk, more focused on wordplay than crude expression, but it does set up the dynamics of the duel scene and Mercutio’s motivations. Mercutio is most happy when Romeo performs masculinity through puns, wordplay, and roasting; when he doesn’t, or refuses to take stand in the defense of his honor, that’s when Mercutio gets frazzled. This is not because he believes Romeo is inherently a wimp—far from it, as he clearly expects Romeo, once he seems unstuck from the quagmire that is Rosaline, to duel Tybalt. He is unsurprised when Romeo throws shade on him right back, and is even pleased. So it’s shocking and disturbing for him when Romeo refuses to step up as he had done in previous scenes to fight the likes of Tybalt, for seemingly no good reason.

On a related note, expectation is noticeably absent in Mercutio’s own dynamic with Benvolio, whom he sees as helper and abettor of his wit and decisions, a soundboard, and a quasi-sidekick (“come, shall we go?” “Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faint” “Help me into some house, Benvolio, / Or I shall faint”). When he does rag on Benvolio for his supposed sword-happy temper, Benvolio does not rise to his bait or roast him back, but gives only mildly amused replies, if gently pointed, to Mercutio’s surly displeasure.

Benvolio. An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man should buy the fee simple of my life for an hour and a quarter.

Mercutio. The fee simple? O simple!

Mercutio may want to fight someone badly enough to go after Benvolio, but he also wants a challenge, the excitement of a back-and-forth of wits—hell, even for someone to tell him he is full of shit if so he could hit back. Perhaps that’s what Mercutio needs and perhaps secretly desires: Someone to roast him and tell him to shut the fuck up every once in a while. But would Romeo do this?

Nurse. I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?

Romeo. A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk and will speak more in a minute than he would stand to in a month.

The answer is yes. Yes, he would.

R&J Adaptations’ Weirdness with This Exchange

So why the difficulty retaining this fun exchange? Well, Romeo talking about well-flowered pumps and Mercutio just happily taking his roasts goes against the usual romantic!Romeo and charismatictroll!Mercutio characterization of earlier scenes. Even in adaptations that do keep this part of the scene, they tend either to brush it by (Baz Lurhmann) or even mischaracterize it a bit to keep it consistent with the interpretation of the characters as established (Zeffirelli). McEnery’s Mercutio in the Zeffirelli is in control and dominant all of the way through, and one of his lines (“Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce”) is given to Romeo instead. The Baz Lurhmann plays it only broadly in terms of group male camaraderie and not so much Mercutio-Romeo dynamics; Benvolio does not participate in the game of wits and is by all accounts just vibing (my personal troll headcanon is he is keeping track of the game of wits on a slate. 2 Romeo, 1 Mercutio, that sort of thing).

Also, perhaps due to Mercutio being on Romeo’s case for most of the play and his being a lil’ shit at points, some adaptations take a weird Ho Yay approach to the dynamic, especially productions that make Mercutio gay or queer. If so, then productions have to do a lot of heavy lifting to interpret Mercutio’s gleeful/amused roasting of Romeo, his lewd blazon of Rosaline, and his anger at Romeo’s loss of honor in refusing to fight Tybalt as signs of romantic love towards Romeo. Romeo’s own emotional independence from his friends and his willingness to roast Mercutio also works against this interpretation. Thus another reason why this exchange is often cut or abridged (although the Globe Theater just decided to go ahead and have Mercutio roll all over Romeo while Romeo is roasting him as a shameless pussy chaser in this scene, because of course that makes perfect sense. Is it any wonder why I don’t like most R&J productions and adaptations?).

The only adaptation I know that gets the camaraderie and dynamics even close to right is the French musical (and to a certain extent, the Hungarian version) through that earworm and evergreen bop, Les Rois du Monde. It captures the spirit of their friendship and youthful zeal so delightfully. Mercutio, Benvolio, and Romeo were so well cast you can identify which is which at a glance—and they are literally as far as from my personal faceclaims for them as you can get, and it’s great. Presgurvic didn’t have to go that hard, but he did and it was glorious.

TL;DR

Mercutio roasts him, Romeo enters, they trade quips and wordplay, Romeo roasts him, Mercutio is too happy to gaf, and everything is character-building fun that will pay off very nicely later on, except that versions and productions can’t make the puns and wordplay comprehensible so they prefer to cut or abridge it (ten points from Gryffindor). And all because Mercutio actually misses Romeo and wants his bro back. Bruh.

#romeo and juliet #shakespeare #william shakespeare #rj meta #r&j meta #les rois du dorks #les dorks du monde #lehetsz dorkály!#i’ll stop now #but seriously am loving these two in the play #hope my troll paraphrases please #montacrew #cristina metas

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trvelyans-archive · 3 years

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look out

a comm for @dauntless-necromancer of the detective’s daughter miss maxine spending a weekend at the warehouse with unit bravo <3 it was such a pleasure to write for you again !!! i hope you enjoy <3

When Max finishes up science club on Friday, there are three vampires waiting outside school for her.

… That sounds like the beginning of a bad YA novel.

Not that she reads those. Well… she does, just not that often. She’s too busy with homework most of the time – also, lots of them are bad. Besides, she’s glad that she hasn’t had time to read lately, because she wouldn’t want Unit Bravo to catch her flipping through some trashy teen book when they get home from… y’know, killing werewolves or demons or whatever. (Or not killing them? She doesn’t really understand what it is they do.) She hitches her backpack higher over her shoulders, pushes her glasses up her nose and clears her throat as she heads down the sidewalk towards the sleek black van they’re standing in front of.

Nice, Max thinks. Better than Dad’s car.

It nearly broke down on the way to school this morning. Max doesn’t know how she felt about him making the 45-minute drive into the city with it, but he kept changing the subject whenever she brought it up. Actually, he didn’t really say or do anything but go over a checklist of what she needed for the weekend until she was about to get out of the car and he said, “Sorry, kiddo. I’ve just been… on edge lately.”

As if he had to tell her that. She sees him every week – she knows how stressed he’s been. That’s part of the reason she went along with this plan so willingly: she wants to get to the bottom of whatever’s going on with him.

“Max!” The shortest one – Farah – practically pounces on her as she approaches their van outside the school, grinning widely. (No vampire fangs, Max notes. Maybe they only come out sometimes? She has an urge to write that down somewhere. She should definitely start taking notes.) “How are you? How was school?”

“Good,” Max says. “And I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m good,” Farah replies, grinning. “I’m excited!”

“She has quite the schedule planned for you,” Nat says, smiling softly. Max likes Nat the most out of all of them – she’s smart and nice, if a little… boring. But boring can be good, sometimes! “We’ve all been looking forward to your visit, though.”

Max looks over at Morgan, who tosses her cigarette onto the ground and stomps it under her boot, staring at the school with a frown and a furrowed brow.

Maybe not all of them, Max thinks.

“Whose car is this?” she asks, pointing at the van.

“The Agency’s!” Farah hurries to pull the door of the van open and gestures inside. “Nothing but the best for Eddie’s daughter!”

“All the vans look like this,” Morgan grumbles. Farah elbows her.

“Nothing but the best,” she repeats.

Max pokes her head inside – it’s practically spotless and smells like new-car smell (except she knows it probably isn’t). They’re probably just really particular about, like, cleaning them after they use the vans to haul back dead werewolves or whatever. (God, she hopes they don’t do that, and she especially hopes they haven’t done that with this van. She makes a mental note to ask Nat about it later.)

As if on cue, Farah grabs Max’s overnight bag from her hand and tosses it inside the car.

“What are you waiting for?” Farah asks. “Let’s go!”

At first, Max as hesitant to spend her weekend with Unit Bravo. Before her dad finished finalizing plans with them, she begged Mom to take the weekend off work until her mom was sick of her asking. As much as she’s grown to like… most of the Unit, she didn’t know how much she’d like spending three days with them. After all, she still hasn’t forgotten what happened with that freak Murphy earlier this year. She still hasn’t forgot that, whether they wanted to or not, they left her dad out to dry and he got his ass – butt – kicked because of it.

And yet, by ten o’clock Friday night – the time she would usually be getting ready for bed – she’s pretty sure she’s gonna like spending the weekend here much more than she thought she would.

They’ve set up camp in the games room. After Max scarfed down the slightly burnt dinner that Nat made her, they spent the evening playing darts – Morgan won the first three games, to Farah’s annoyance, and then Max won the fourth game, to even more of Farah’s annoyance – and now they’re about half an hour deep into what feels like will be an incredibly prolonged game of pool.

Max’s on Farah’s team, apparently. She thinks it’s because Farah doesn’t want to lose again, but she’s going to be disappointed – Max’s only played pool a couple times before, and Dad is never an easy opponent.

(In pool, at least – she kicks his ass – butt – at chess.)

“Y’know,” Farah says, leaning on the pool table and turning to face Max with a bright smile, “I don’t know a lot about you, Max. Your dad doesn’t talk about you a lot – well, I mean, he does sometimes! But just about how proud he is of you and stuff.”

Max smiles. It never hurts to hear that the hours she spends doing homework every night always pay off. “He doesn’t tell us much of anything else, though, like…” Farah purses her lips, scanning the ceiling while she searches for a question. “What do you like to do for fun?” Her eyes widen with excitement. “We can add whatever it is to the schedule for this weekend!”

Morgan snorts and hits a striped, orange ball, sending it straight into the pocket at the corner of the table. “Not even I have enough energy to put up with all the shit you have planned for this weekend, Farah,” she says. “You think the kid does?”

“I’m not a–“ Max stops herself before she finishes the sentence. “Well, I would love to do anything you have planned, Farah,” she continues politely. Mostly because the more time they spend together, the more dirt she can try to dig up. “I can’t wait to see what else we’re going to do tonight.”

“Tonight? Oh, the rest of tonight is all about pool, baby!” Farah grabs her cue stick and turns back to the table. “We gotta get through the next three games of our tournament before we even think about doing anything else.”

Max waits until Farah’s back is turned to wince. It looks like she won’t be able to sit any of them down and have a serious discussion anytime soon, then. It’s not that she doesn’t want to play pool at all – she’d like to play pool and see if she can find any board games – but she just has more important things to tend to, as well.

She’s not exactly going to say that, though, so when she catches Morgan smirking at the look on her face, she forces herself to smile.

Saturday morning, Max creeps out of her dad’s bedroom wearing one of his old t-shirts and a pair of basketball shorts she found in his closet. She thought about having a shower but decided against it – firstly because she’s too lazy to figure out how the shower in his bathroom works, and secondly because she really wants a bowl of the cereal that she spotted on top of the fridge last night. She pads slowly through the wide, empty hallways, her socked feet thumping softly against the floor, and the kitchen door creaks open as she walks inside, yawning.

Unfortunately for her, she didn’t get a lot of sleep. It’s kind of hard to do so when you’re in some supernatural underground warehouse surrounded by vampires and one of them plays music very loud and very late at night.

“Good morning,” Nat says. She’s sitting at the table with a cup of tea and a book open in front of her – the book looks old. Looks ancient. If she has access to books that look so ancient, then how old is Nat? Max can’t ask that, right? Dad’s told her that it’s rude to ask women how old they are - does that count for vampires, too?

She clears her throat when she realizes that she hasn’t answered yet.

“Good morning,” she replies, tiptoeing over to the table and tucking her hair behind her ear before pushing her glasses higher up her nose. “Can I – uh, have some cereal?”

Nat laughs gently. “Of course,” she answers. “I bought it just for you – the others don’t eat human food very often.”

‘Human’. It feels weird to hear them refer to her as a human. She knows they aren’t humans, of course, at least not anymore, but – they look like humans and sound like humans. She hasn’t even seen a fang yet! (Though she’s not sure whether or not she wants to.) “Oh.” She nods, blushing. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Max can feel Nat watching her as she heads for the fridge, standing on her tiptoes to grab the cereal box. “Does Farah have any plans for you today?”

“She does. Well, I think she does – she said so last night, anyway, when I finally went to bed, but I think I might try and catch up some homework this morning first.” Max opens the door of the fridge and reaches for a jug of milk that looks entirely unopened – Nat really did buy everything just for her, apparently. “I have a journal to write for English, a project to work on for science, some equations to work on for math…”

“Sounds like quite a lot of work.”

As if any of her work compares to the work of top-secret agents who also happen to be vampires. Still, Max sighs and nods. “Yeah, it is a lot sometimes,” she agrees. “I don’t mind it most of the time, though. I like school. But I’d rather just… I don’t know, hang out with you guys this weekend…”

Well… she’s a bit worn out from playing pool and darts as of right now, and she doesn’t want to spend any more time with Morgan because Morgan doesn’t seem to like her very much, but she all she needs is to have some coffee and she’ll feel a lot better. (Hopefully.) (Do they even have any coffee here?)

“Who says you can’t do both?” Nat asks. “I’ll be moving to the library soon, if you want to join me.”

Max smiles. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” Nat answers. “There’s plenty of room for you to do your work, and I wouldn’t mind some company.”

“Okay.” Max nods, looking down at her bowl as she pushes the dry cereal around in her milk. “Thanks, Nat. For, uh, you know…” She shrugs, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “Buying me food and stuff.”

“Of course. My pleasure.”

She goes back to her reading, leaving Max alone with her thoughts and her cereal.

Miraculously, in the peace and quiet of the library, Max manages to get almost all of her work finished.

Well, she saves the last part of her science project for tomorrow, but mostly because she starts falling asleep in her chair at about three in the afternoon and heads back to her dad’s room to take a nap that ends up lasting a lot longer than she intended. Nat’s not in the library when she returns at about half past ten, which is a letdown, both because Max genuinely likes her company but mostly because she didn’t get any information about what’s going on in Wayhaven out of her earlier.

She’s hoping she can get some tomorrow. Unless they have to go into the field and kill (or not kill) some more werewolves, in which case she’ll probably be out of luck.

After scarfing down the leftovers of last night’s dinner, she decides to continue her search for Nat anyway, and while she’s leaving the kitchen she comes across Farah in the hallway. She tails Max around the Warehouse for a little while and asks her what feels like a thousand questions – what class her favourite is, what her mom’s like, what she wants to be when she grows up – and while Max wouldn’t have liked answering them a month ago, she does now without even thinking about it. Playing darts and pool with someone for six hours can really help them grow on you, apparently.

They’re on their fifth lap when Farah stops abruptly. “Alright, Max,” she says. “Think I’m gonna head to Morgan’s room and ask her if she wants to play darts!”

Max cringes – she hadn’t realized how bored Farah might be wandering around what’s basically her own house. She doesn’t seem too bothered by it, though. (Is she ever bothered by anything?) “But you can come find me later in the games room if you’re bored, alright?” she continues, smiling widely.

“Okay.” Max smiles. “Thanks, Farah.”

“No problem!” Farah pats her shoulder before she bounces away whistling, and Max considers going with her for a few seconds before she remembers the importance her mission and prepares herself for another several hours of searching for Nat.

She knows that whatever she finds out is probably going to scare the hell – heck – out of her, but she still wants to know – her dad is scared, too, and she doesn’t want him to feel like he’s alone or like he can’t talk to her about it! Which she knows is a silly thing to think, but she can’t help it. She loves her dad – besides, she’ll be much better off if he can prepare her for anything scary that might happen to her, right?

The way his mom didn’t?

She wanders around for a couple minutes before she can hear the sounds of someone grunting and yelling in the distance, and she starts running towards the sound before she can question it. She doesn’t find any rabid werewolves or anything, though, which she definitely thought she would – just an open set of double doors to her left and someone with a blonde ponytail punching mannequins inside.

Ava.

Max frowns immediately. She didn’t want to see Ava this weekend – out of all the Unit, she’s Max’s least favourite. She dislikes Ava more than Morgan, and considering that Morgan personally doesn’t like Max, either, that’s saying something. She steels herself to run back the way she came when Ava glances over at her.

“Oh.” Her eyebrows furrow slightly. “Maxine.”

Staring at her, Max nods politely. “Ava.”

And then, without thinking about it, she steps through the open doorway into the room, glancing around curiously.

It looks sort of like a school gymnasium, only with lower-hanging ceilings and an army of dummies and mannequins that they definitely, definitely don’t have at her school. The lights are brighter in here than they are in the hallway, and after nearly an hour of wandering through the Warehouse, she half-heartedly raises a hand to shield her eyes, lips pursed.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“Training,” Ava answers.

Training.

Maybe she’s training so that next time some bloodthirsty freak tracks Max’s dad down, Ava won’t let him get taken again. She’s the one who was with him when Murphy snatched him, after all. Max hasn’t forgotten that.

(Dad says that Ava couldn’t have saved him, that something had happened to her before they escaped his apartment, but Max doesn’t care. Her dad matters more than anything.)

“Have you been avoiding me?” Max asks.

Ava’s eyes widen in surprise before she clears her throat and shakes her head. “I haven’t,” she answers. “I had Agency work to tend to today.”

Max toes a crack in the floor with the tip of her shoe. “You didn’t come with the others to pick me up yesterday.”

“I had work to do then, as well.”

“Mmhmm.”

Ava turns back to the dummy, shaking her bandaged hands out before curling them into fists again. “I won’t be able to entertain you, if that’s what you’re looking for,” she says, reaching out to hit the mannequin so hard that it nearly topples over. “I’m sure you could find something to do with one of the other agents.”

“Do you train a lot?”

Max doesn’t know if she’s asking to pester Ava or if she’s genuinely curious. Probably a little bit of both.

“Yes,” Ava answers. It doesn’t sound like she’s going to say any more than that, but Dad has always said that she’s not very talkative. (He says it with a smile, though, which Max doesn’t understand at all.)

“So, you’re gonna keep my dad safe from whatever it is that’s been going on lately?”

Across the room, Ava tenses. It’s visible enough for Max to notice.

“What has he told you?”

Of course, Max’s first instinct is to be honest with her and say “nothing”, but when the realization that she stopped her herself from getting any sort of information hits her, she nearly kicks herself for it.

“Good,” Ava says. “You don’t need to concern yourself with Agency business.”

Max frowns. “I do if I want to keep my dad safe.” Because you might not, she thinks, but she doesn’t say it.

“That’s not your job, Maxine.” Ava says her name like she knows her, and Max doesn’t like it one bit. “I think Ed- I think your father would agree with me on that.”

“But it’s not fair!” she says. “If I’m in danger, too, don’t I deserve to know?”

“That is not my choice.”

Max curls her hands into fists at her sides. If she were in cartoon, she knows for a fact that she’d have steam coming out of her ears. Her dad would say she’s being unreasonable for pinning what happened with Murphy on Ava, but – she got her stubbornness from him, so he’s really the one to blame. Him and Ava and whoever else in the world lets her dad get hurt.

“Fine,” Max says. “But you better keep me safe, then, too, or my dad will never forgive you.”

She swears she can hear Ava open her mouth to say something behind her, but she’s turning on her heel and stomping down the hallway before the vampire can get a word out. When she reaches her dad’s room, she nearly slams the door but stops herself at the last second and closes it slowly, taking deep breaths in and out through her nose so she doesn’t get too wound up.

All she can hope is that Ava doesn’t tell Dad about their conversation. As much as she loves him, she doesn’t love being scolded.

To Max’s relief, Ava doesn’t tell Dad. (At least she hasn’t told him yet.)

She tells Rebecca, instead.

Max is packing her stuff up at the end of the day on Sunday when she hears a knock at the door. At first she thinks it’s her dad – by now, he should be on his way to the Warehouse to pick her up – but when she hurries over to open the door, she sees her grandmother standing there on the other side, instead.

Rebecca smiles kindly. “Maxine,” she says. “May I come in?”

They’ve only seen each other once or twice since their first meeting. She’s another one of the people that Max has a grudge against for how they’ve treated her dad, except this time he seems to hold the same grudge, too.

Still, Rebecca let Max stay the whole weekend and didn’t come to see her until now. She can’t exactly say no.

Max moves to the side and opens the door even further while Rebecca steps into the room, scanning the space with sad eyes. Max guesses from the way she’s acting that she probably hasn’t been in this room much before, at least not long enough to get a good look at everything. Max feels defensive about it for her dad’s sake – this is his space, after all, and he’s not here to decide whether or not he wanted Rebecca to come inside – so she relaxes when Rebecca turns to her again.

“I’ve been meaning to come see you,” she says, her voice soft and tentative. “I’m afraid I’ve just been rather busy this weekend.”

Busy. Max nearly snorts at that, but she doesn’t.

“Agent du Mortain talked to me earlier,” Rebecca continues. “About your conversation with her yesterday.”

Max’s eyes widen in surprise. “I didn’t say anything bad to her, I promise!”

Her grandmother smiles. “I know you didn’t,” she says. “She didn’t say that you did. Only that you expressed a concern for Ed- for your father’s safety. And I wanted to assure you that the Agency is doing everything we can to keep him safe.”

“So he won’t get kidnapped again? Or get strapped to a bed by some bloodthirsty weirdo?”

“He told you that, did he?”

“Yeah. He tells me everything.” Max crosses her arms over her chest. “He doesn’t treat me like a kid the way everyone else does.”

“Well… I suppose that’s fair.” Rebecca presses her lips together. “As long as you haven’t told anyone…?”

“Of course not!” Who would she tell? The girls in her class would never believe her. Even if she came to school with a vampire bite on her neck or carrying a werewolf tooth, they would probably just say that she was faking it to impress the boys in their class.

“Good.” Rebecca nods. “In any case, Maxine, I just came by to promise you that I, personally, will do everything I can to keep your father safe, as will the Unit. Your father – as well as you and your mother – are all under our very close protection. What happened with Murphy…” She clenches her jaw the way Dad does when he’s upset. Max’s heart hurts at the sight. “It will not happen again. I promise.”

“You can’t abandon him.”

Rebecca seems surprised by how firmly Max says it, but she responds with nothing more than a tight nod. “I won’t. I would die before I let that happen.”

Despite that, Max’s first instinct is not to believe her. After everything her dad said about Rebecca, how much can they trust her, really? Even if she’s trying now, it doesn’t make up for everything she missed when Dad was a kid, nor does it make up for the fact that no one will tell Max what’s going on even though she might be in danger, too. But the determination in Rebecca’s words, in her eyes… Max’s seen the same look in her dad’s eyes a million times. Her dad, who she loves to the ends of Earth and trusts more than anyone.

So, in the end, Max can’t help but trust Rebecca, too. Her and the team, even Ava. She just hopes that none of them do anything to break that trust, because after spending eight hours playing darts this weekend, she has pretty good aim.

It’s ten o’clock when Dad and Max get back to his apartment that night.

His car stalled on his way back to Wayhaven – she knew something bad was going to happen! – but thankfully he was close enough to town that he could call someone to tow him back in. They’ve borrowed an Agency van for a couple days that he’ll drive her to school with tomorrow, and as she sits on the counter beside him and watches him put dinner together, she tells him that he should just buy it from the Agency.

“Maybe you’ll get a discount,” she muses, leaning back against the cabinet. “Or maybe if one of the werewolf corpses left a stain –“

“Max!”

“What?”

“They don’t –“ He sighs in exasperation. “That’s not what the vans are for.”

“Sure it’s not.”

Dad laughs. Max can always trust him to laugh at her jokes. She can trust him with anything. She turns to look at him and watches him pour pancake batter into the pan, gnawing on the inside of her cheek.

“Dad?”

“Mmm?”

“Don’t get kidnapped by someone like Murphy again, okay?”

He glances up at her, face softening. “I won’t,” he says. “I promise.”

She believes him. Even if she doesn’t believe anyone else, she believes him, no matter what.

#I HOPE YOU ENJOY pleading emoji #this was so fun i missed writing for you KING.....................#i love miss maxine also i hope i did her justice #my writing #my commissions

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saintheartwing · 3 years

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Breaking Dawn, Pt. 2: Rage of the Forgotten Ones

Author's Note:

Regrettably, this time, I'm not accepting OCs for the story. Though you may spy a cameo here and there for certain...persons. ;)

Anyhow, on with the tale! And feel free to tell me what you like and dislike about it. :D

BREAKING DAWN, PART TWO RAGE OF THE FORGOTTEN ONES

If you're reading this, then again...thanks. I'm glad somebody bothered to check out my blog. I'm surprised you're checking it now, though. Shouldn't you be more concerned with the fact that hundreds of planet Earths are floating around in the sky above, defying all physics? Even the average ignorant idiot can tell: something is seriously wrong.

And I know you want to know how this happened. Maybe you heard about me. Remembered I was the "crazy kid" for a long time, that I had all of these "insane" theories about aliens and the supernatural, and now that this is happening, well, you turn to me for answers. I've got answers, alright...I've got answers.

It all ties back...to him. To an alien named Zim.

His species is called the Irken race. They're like reptile-esque bugs. Their bodies are organic shells, their REAL selves are attached to their backs in robotic backpacks called "PAKS'. They're generally proud, vain, narcissistic, selfish, dangerous, in a word...evil. I knew from the moment Zim entered my classroom in his pathetic disguise that fooled everyone but me that he was bad news, I swore to expose him.

But something happened over the years. Zim and I began to...

Well...

...I can't call it friendship. I really can't. It's like...we were rivals. And we always wanted to stay that way. To outdo each other. It was a "same time next week" kind of deal we had: he'd try to make some world-enslaving or world-destroying plot...I'd stop him. It was a great game we played. And I think we began to develop...well...a kind of respect...a kind of trust. We kinda mellowed, in a sense. Heck, we even applied to the same colleges. I guess that my life fell into a rhythm I intended to ride for the rest of my life.

...but before all that happened, there was...a period that I think back on with shame. It was kind of like the turning point. When we looked back on what we did, something changed in us. I think we kinda were forced to change.

See...I wasn't the only one who knew Zim was an alien. My sister knew, but she didn't really care much. Zim had another Irken living at his home, named Skoodge, but Skoodge wasn't really too much of a threat. He wasn't actually too bad, as far as Irkens went. But I did tell my classmate Gretchen about Zim, and I think she wanted to believe me.

And then there was Nick.

Nice kid from down south. Slightly annoying accent. Little bit dumb. Okay, maybe more than a little bit.

But friendly. Helpful. And Zim had experimented on him before. Made him REAAAALLY happy with this strange device he stuck in his head. Twice. I asked him for help, knowing he knew the truth.

I TRIED to train him. I really did. I tried to help him get smart and savvy the way I was. We planned...we calculated...a few missions went by, we did well.

He wasn't my friend, but...but he was a good comrade. Yes...a comrade. And that day, on March 23rd, six years ago...Zim did the worst thing he'd ever done.

And he did it to Nick.

...I own that. Because he was my soldier. My comrade.

...my fault.

I don't know if he...remembers it all. I kept wondering "Was he afraid? Was he begging for me to save him in his head? Was he crying all the while as Zim..."

Now I know how he felt. I'm feeling that way too. Because someone showed up at our front door. They forced a very dangerous, very powerful ring on me. A ring that can turn the imagination into reality. Chosen for me because I can overcome great fear.

And yet...

All I want to do now...

Is SCREAM.

At first...it was a spiritual experience. Exhilarating. Almost transcendental. He felt invincible. He felt...like he could face anything. Anyone. Dib Membrane wasn't afraid of anything or anyone, and he knew, in that first few moments he KNEW he could have taken on the entire world and WON. For those first few moments...the ring upon his finger showed him a world just in front of his fingertips, a world of potential.

And then...then it was not HIS will that controlled the power. It felt like he was being tugged around by slimy strings, his flesh was not his own...he was lost in his own spirit...and he knew what was at fault.

"Get this thing OFF me!" Dib yelled out, yanking on the white ring on his finger as best he could, gasping as the Irken with the golden eyes looked on in pitiless amusement. Two sets of antennae, one teal, one black slightly raised in amusement with gloved hands and a blue vest across his chest, with dark blue pants and boots of black...black to match the gloves...black to match his heart. "GET IT OFF!"

"It's no use." The Irken with the golden eyes said, waving his hand in the air. "I was the first one to touch the Exemplar Ring you wear on your hand. It might be powered by your Will, it might think you're using it, but really...it's MY will that matters now. It might as well be on my hand. And you're going to do everything I tell you to do. You won't have a choice." The Irken said.

Dib's sister bellowed angrily, punching the ground below and seething, frothing at the mouth. Unlike Dib, who was dressed in a fine outfit of black and green, she was all red and black, with a form that looked vaguely machine-like in its design, a fury dripping off her facial features as the Irken snapped his fingers and she panted slightly, slowly calming down.

"You...fix us...NOW." Dib snarled angrily, summoning up all his willpower, leveling the ring on his finger squarely at the Irken. "You FREAK."

"The NAME...is Zerinim Two Jookiba." The Irken with two sets of antenneas said, putting one gloved hand on his chest before growling fervently, a burning red fiery blaze of energy forming in his hands, sizzling like he was holding a miniature sun in his palms. "But don't call me "Two" like my closest loved ones do. Call me...MASTER."

He immediately launched the wave of energy squarely at Dib and Gaz, knocking them to the ground, Gaz taking a blow to the head, unconsciousness settling in as Dib felt the thing's grip on him relaxing, and now the many sledgehammers he kept imagining should be beating into this thing actually manifested in a bright green glow, energy constructs that struck at Two over and over as Dib kept the manifestation up, intent on one thing and one thing alone...

MAKING...HIM...PAY.

"I'm gonna make you sorry you ever came to my planet!" Dib yelled out, stepping closer and closer to Two as the Irken held his gloved hands forth, a sonic blast of red construct energy knocking Dib back as Two snapped his fingers, a surge of power rising from his form as a bow popped into his gloved hands. Dib jumped back up, quickly firing off blasts of energy from his ring like a cowboy desperately firing his pistols at an oncoming posse, but Two calmly stood still, the blasts missing him as he notched an arrow of burning red.

It launched through the air, impaling Dib through his left side and he screeched in pain, falling to the ground as his grip on his body faded, and he swam in and out of consciousness, struggling to stay awake, Two chuckling coldly as he approached the human and his sister.

"Ahhhhh, I NEEDED that. I'm in a such good mood right now...now you go home and power down and get some rest. Dream peacefully...it'll be the last happy sleep you ever have, I'm afraid." The Irken said, kneeling by Dib and lifting his head with one claw. It wasn't a mocking tone...it just said it. A statement of fact. Nothing personal. "You've got a busy day tomorrow, after all." He added with a slight smile, clapping his hands as Dib and Gaz found themselves returning to their normal clothes, getting back up and returning inside the house of their own accord, the will of their master, the being named Two, echoing in their minds...

Mercifully, Dib could feel his wounds healing. But this was cold comfort. All Dib could think about...was what this thing was going to do the world he loved.

...

...as Dib rested in his bed, snuggling up beneath the covers, shivering slightly, he grit his teeth and grounded them together. He was mad. He was furious. He couldn't even fall asleep without feeling like that...that thingwith the double set of antennas was watching him. It had loosed it's control over them...just barely. It was allowing them to rest, but that was cold comfort considering Dib knew the thing would be up to no good.

What would it do to his world? What would it make himdo to his world? What would it make him do to the people he loved?

Simply trying to imagine talking to his father or anybody else about what had happened was giving him a headache...no doubt another part of that being, "Two", inflicting his will on him. What would happen if he actually tried to tell his father what had occurred, get him to simply analyze the ring that he was unable to take off? Would it be some "Battle Royale" kind of deal? Would a collar manifest around his neck and take his head off?

Gaz. What was Gaz thinking, Dib wondered as his eyelids slowly beginning to drop, genuine sleep mercifully setting in. Was she scared? Was she indignant about being used? Or was she just...angry?

Well, as it turned out, Gaz was none of those things. She had long since fallen deep asleep to dream of a world that shaped and shifted by her will, brought to life by a giant red pen, floating upon a rubber piggy and laughed giddily at the new world she was making. She liked seeing things in red...yes, yes, she wanted to paint everything in red...

She knew this power would help her do it. She was aware it was bringing out her most violent desires and attitudes. But she knew she could channel it. She just had to wait for her chance.

She could take control of this. She could prove stronger than the thing on her finger.

"That idiot thinks he has me. But I've beaten worse things before." Her dream-self said as she raised a chainsaw high, cutting through a swath of imaginary Twos. "AND YOU'LL FALL, JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM!"

...

..."Oh great. Two is here. Help me put my clothes back on."

"Why did you ask me to bring HER along? I could understand Lilo, but…"

"I want her to understand what we're…willing to do to break her. Lilo, do you know HOW the Minor Arcana was formed? How the…application process is undertaken?"

"..."

"Well, in exchange for very, VERY large amounts of power and the ability to remain eternally young…you've got to kill family. Close family. One member, to be precise."

"Samael approached me and told me that if I wanted into the Minor Arcana…if I wanted the ability to be immune to control and to control reality, I'd have to kill a family member."

"No, please tell me you didn't…didn't kill them…Kila, Zim, you…you didn't?"

"No, of course I couldn't, I…I love my parents. I…I chose Green, my sister from the past."

"If Kila and Zim ARE your parents, the ones I know so well, then they would have been horrified at the idea of you working for the person who made them suffer so much! They wouldn't have raised you to be so cruel!"

"They didn't raise me to be cruel, but we never could stay in one place long…do you know how some kids move around city after city, state after state, never really making friends, or worse, constantly leaving the friends they DO have? For me…it was TEN TIMES WORSE. I had to move from world to world and whenever we got REMOTELY settled into the hotel or other temporarily dwelling, we had to leave! Working for Samael meant he wouldn't hunt my parents anymore and…It's not like I know Green. She's my sister and I understand mentally that the whole thing is…sad."

"..."

"I OUGHT to know her. I should have spent my childhood with my big sister being there, we should have blown stuff up in the backyard together or played gorka-ball or "Toss the GIR"…we should have been siblings but…but we weren't. Aren't. It IS sad, but…I just don't really know her, and so I don't have many qualms about killing her, though MIYU had NO qualms in killing MALIK! And to get to her mother, she killed her dad too!"

"Azazel has yet to kill Nick, his dear, beloved Grandfather. So perhaps he'll kill his originator instead, he was so close to Nick, In his reality, his "Pee-Paw" was so PROUD of him…he even gave him his-"

"..."

"As for Frequency, lobotomizing Sari, whom he cared for greatly, was his act. Samael was happy to allow him to do the act, it allowed Miyu to replace Sari, who had refused to kill her parents and had taken Samael's gift of immortality. Such a pity…she would have gained Miyu's incomparable battle skills but instead she lost most of her brain."

"And now let us come to the point. You are not going to be rescued. You are going to be tortured here by us, one at a time, and when TWO finishes with you, I…will begin."

"Question: Who shall start?"

"I'll be the first...my power will be good for torturing you-"

With that, Dib awoke from the strange dream. It had felt real. FAR too real. And that person...Two. It had definitely been him. What was going on? Were Two's memories of the past somehow crisscrossing with his slave's head? Possible, he supposed. The Irken could control him from his head, but that meant his mind was open, at least when asleep, to Dib's own...

How strange...

"How odd..." Dib mumbled as he scratched his head, sweeping his legs out of his bed and onto the floor as he made his way to his bureau to get his usual attire out. Dark jacket? Check. Blue t-shirt with a "Meh" face on it? Check. Dark pants? Also check. Glasses...shoes...belt for said pants...check, check, check-

"...is the ring still on my finger?" Dib mumbled, looking down at his hand.

Check.

"...crap." He muttered. "You JERK." He growled, turning his head to look out the window at a cheerily grinning Two, who pushed the window open, letting in the sunshine to the dark blue walls of Dib's cluttered-up bedroom.

"Nice place, it really is...except for the smell." Two admitted as he looked around the bedroom. Indeed, over the years Dib had gotten slightly more advanced equipment from his father for birthday presents...yes, Birthday. Dib's father refused to celebrate Christmas due to his undying hatred of Santa Claus, so he always wasted that day searching for signs of Santa. And beating up Santa's Helpers in the street.

Yeah, it was weird.

A sophisticated computer system on a desk with what appeared to be three dozen drawers, many of them stuffed full of papers on Bigfeet, ghosts and aliens...a pile of laundry in the corner, all dark clothes, blue t-shirts...and several dozen paranormal posters littered the walls, including one of a flying saucer. And not just ANY flying saucer. "Is that from the X-Files series?" Two found himself asking, an intrigued expression coming to his features.

"Yes, the original one. I got it off of Ebay. Cost me two month's allowance too." Dib added, not taking his eyes off the alien scumbag. He wanted to jump through the air and do a karate kick to his head, hey, years of fighting with Zim meant he'd picked up a couple of tricks. But no, no, it was like he was rooted to the spot, and he knew EXACTLY why.

He tried to yank the ring off anew...hopeless. Two chuckled slightly as he snapped his fingers. "I used to watch the show when I was younger. Ahhhh, memories. Moving from dimension to dimension it's still nice to see that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Wait until I tell you about the second movie."

"Second movie?" Dib remarked, blinking stupidly.

"Oh, right, you don't know. Guess this world will never see it once I'm...well..." He chuckled coldly. "Once WE'RE finished. Go on, my little puppet. Eat breakfast. Say goodbye to your father with your sister. Then we begin, and I think I'll start by doing you a favor, and doing what all children dream of doing at one point or another...burning down your school."

"Why would you want to do that?" Dib growled angrily, fingers clenching almost like claws, eyes alit with fury. "What could you POSSIBLY gain from-"

"Do I look like a Bond Villain, my boy? I'm not TELLING you." The Irken chuckled. "But I'm in a good mood, so being the nice person I am, here's the deal. You get until Lunch Period's over. Then I'll take full control...and have you and your sister burn down the school and everyone and everything in it."

The Irken was suddenly up in Dib's face, smiling coldly, one hand gripping his chin, the other tapping Dib's ring. "You have until then to convince the others to get out, and don't bother trying to use your ring to convince them, I'll put it under a lock that won't open until it is finally time to BURN, baby, BURN." The Irken laughed. "Hey, you've been failing to get your classmates to listen for years. Maybe today's the day they'll finally listen!"

"You don't have to do this." Dib said, trying another tack, remembering the dream. Normally he wouldn't EVER negotiate with an alien, not even try, but...this was different. "You don't need to hurt anyone."

"But I do." Two whispered, raising his gloved claws up and clenching them. "...I DO."

Letting off cold-hearted laughter, the Irken jumped back out of the window, strolling off. Dib cursed under his breath. This was one of the few times an alien was out in the open! NO disguise! Why, WHY was nobody outside? Or LOOKING outside? What had their attention? Were they all still ASLEEP?

"So then he shot her, it was weird." The newest arrival on the "Okrah" show said to the titular host, Gaz munching on some cereal as the tall and weirdly surreal Prof. Membrane adjusted the goggles over his eyes, looking at the screen.

"This PULP is what the people are interested in?" He inquired.

"Yeeeeep." Gaz said nonchalantly through a mouthful of "Choco Frosted Sugar Bombs".

"And it's on every morning from 8 to 9? Without fail?"

"Yeeeeeeeeep."

"...what next, dancing panda bears?" Prof. Membrane mused sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he poured himself some coffee. He was getting better at this, he TRIED to be there during the day for breakfast if nothing else. And to think, it only took him a little over 10 years to actually start being somewhat of a good father figure.

"Mornin', Dad." Dib said, entering the kitchen and going to the fridge before shrinking away. Every time he tried to open the fridge, weird things happened. Last time he was SURE he'd heard a sneeze, and the mayonnaise had started yelling "The ketchup did it! The ketchup!" And ANOTHER time his father had left an experiment in there. Something had been living in the fridge.

"...is...the thing still in there?" Dib asked Prof. Membrane, inching away from the fridge and reaching for the knife drawer by the sink, pulling out a large carving knife as Gaz watched with interest.

"No, I'm fairly certain I moved him to the freezer." Prof. Membrane said, shaking his head back and forth. Smiling in relief, Dib wiped his brow and opened up the fridge...and was then forced to hack back several dozen tentacles before slamming the fridge shut. "Or maybe I forgot. Who keeps track?" Prof. Membrane added a moment later, putting a gloved finger to where his lip might have been...it was hard to tell, the white labcoat that he wore had a loooong collar that reached up high. You couldn't even see his nose!

"I'll just make some toast."

"SUPER-Toast?" Prof. Membrane asked expectantly.

"...er, I was thinking cinna-" Dib began to say, before he saw his father's slowly drooping expression. "SUPER-Cinnamon Toast." He quickly changed his mind, nodding enthusiastically.

"EXCELLENT choice, my son!" Prof. Membrane agreed, clapping Dib on the shoulder and moving to the cupboard to get the cinnamon sugar for his boy. "I can only spare 110 more seconds but I'd be HAPPY to get your cinnamon toast started!"

"...thanks, Dad." Dib said quietly. "I...I really appreciate it. And...appreciate you." He murmured.

"What will that thing make me do to the ones I love?"He thought sadly to himself, sitting in the chair next to Gaz as she quietly looked over at him, a faint flicker of genuine regret passing over her face for an instant.

...

...the Beautiful Angel clutched his mother's paw, looking down at her closed eyes. She looked so...worn and tired. So sad...so lost...so forgotten. She was a sad little doll that had been tossed into a closet to be forgotten about. She lay there in the ornately-draped bed inside of the crystalline palace that hovered high above the clouds, hidden from all sight not by ignorance on behalf of humanity, but by carefully-constructed machinations, creations of Zerinim Two, and of the robot that calmly watched, her face solemn before she turned her red-helmed head away from the sight of her beloved kneeling by his dying mother.

"C'mon...just a few more days, momma." He whispered, his golden/amber eyes gazing down upon his beloved mother. "...just a few more days and maybe we can end all of this...get our world back...and bring all of us back to normal."

"Is she...any better? Any worse?"

The Angel looked up. Zerinim Two's face was normally a window...behind his eyes you could tell he was barely suppressing a furious rage within. Now that window was cracked, but not showing rage...but deep, deep concern and sadness...

Personal loss...one of the greatest causes of rage in the world.

"No. And...and I've been talking with her and...she kept asking about the plan." The Angel went on, sighing as he stood up, brushing his thick slightly-light-brown locks of hair back. "You know that this base Earth is very...unstable. It's got the seeds of potential for all the other stories, but if this plan works, I'm worried what'll happen to the other-"

"Who GIVES a rat's ass?" Two snapped angrily, cutting his hand in the air to shut him up. "Azzy, these people are awful. AW-FUL. I might have been petty and selfish but when it came down to it, I ALWAYS put doing what was right for the ones I loved and for the world I loved at the forefront! Do you think ANY of the so-called "cornerstones" of this Base Earth would?"

"...I don't know." The Beautiful Angel admitted softly, honestly. "...I'd like to believe that some of them would."

"I'm sorry that "some of them" isn't enough." Two spoke quietly, folding his arms. "You know...I saw into Dib's mind when I controlled him. He has a family. He has a father. He has a sister. And his life's been slowly getting better for the past five years. Zim getting more considerate, Gaz becoming more tolerant, his father's actually eating BREAKFAST with them!"

That made the woman in the bed chuckle slightly. "Brekkie? N-no kiddin'? Ame kef, never thought he'd actually..." Her chuckling dissolved into pained coughs as she held her paw over her mouth and Two gently patted her forehead. "I'm...sorry I'm so friggin' useless now."

"It'll be alright, maneem." Two whimpered, kneeling by his mother and kissing her paw as a blue-furred being entered, Two rubbing his eyes as he left the room. The blue-furred being took off his cap, letting his hair fall down as he nervously chewed his lip, gazing at his aunt.

"...are we really gonna go through with this? I want the world back but..." He sighed. "...what he's making Dib do isn't...it isn't right."

"I want you to have this." The Beautiful Angel said, giving the blue-furred bounty hunter a pad of paper he had in a pack slung around his shoulder. "It's notes that mother took. I've read it five dozen times..." He trailed off, taking his mother's paw again.

The blue-furred being chewed his lip again, walking out of the room as he went to stand on a balcony, reading the journal as the robot stepped out on the balcony to join him.

"I shall be meeting with MY personal inductees today." She said in her emotionless tone, holding up the rings she would be using. "They shall join my Corps and I will then bring the two up here so that they may understand why we do what we do. I think he would go along with it anyway...a chance to destroy this world? Have "fun"? How could he say "no"?"

"Will you bother to tell him that once enough of this world's been destroyed by the Cornerstones, he'll get folded into the historical fabric?" The bounty hunter wanted to know.

"That's on a "need-to-know" basis." The robot said, a flicker of amusement passing over her metallic features as she sauntered back into the crystalline palace, leaving the bounty hunter alone on the balcony as he reached into his pocket, pulling out two small rings of his own. One was shining slightly, a chosen partner found, but the other...it's light was dull.

"...why isn't it lit up? What's it missing? WHO is it missing? I might have been the first to get ahold of these, but...can't do this alone..." He murmured, putting them back in his pocket, his paw going over the journal to his side, over an entry stained by teardrops.

...

...Dib nervously gripped his pants pockets as he looked out the window of the bus, sitting in the back with Gaz as she looked over at him. "Any ideas?" She asked sarcastically.

"...I thought about offering twenty bucks to everyone to leave school right after lunch...but my allowance isn't THAT high." Dib admitted, pulling out his wallet and opening it, a tiny moth fluttering out as Gaz rolled her eyes.

"And just TELLING them the truth won't help either, will it?" She asked. "They'd never believe you. Well, they might if you tried to use that thing in front of them, but-"

"It's not working." Dib mumbled, shaking his fist angrily, the ring uselessly dull. "I'm trying and trying...but he meant it...he shut it off. And after lunch, it turns on...and I turn into a living weapon. He'll drive me like I'm a BATTLEBOT."

Gaz looked around the bus, eyes narrowing darkly. "...Dib...what's wrong with this picture?" She asked quietly, dangerously.

Dib looked up from his lap, glancing around.

"Notice anything...missing?"

Suddenly it hit him. Zim. Skoodge. Gretchen. Nick. All four of them were gone. How strange...how very, very strange...

The bus came to a stop as everyone headed into the school, their new guidance counselor greeting the children at the door. He saw Dib's clearly sullen expression and his gentle green eyes softened. A hand reached out, placed squarely on Dib's right shoulder. "Dib, is something the matter?" Mr. Thildari inquired, one eyebrow raised high over a head with perfectly-combed grey hair.

"...nothing you could help with, sir." Dib told him as Gaz headed inside. "You've been more help than the last guidance counselor I had, but...you can't help me with this."

"Aww, why not try me?" Mr. Thildari asked, moving Dib inside and sitting him down at a bench by a water fountain. "First period bell doesn't ring for a whole seven..." He checked his watch. "...six whole minutes!"

"...I need to get everyone out of the school before lunch. And I mean EVERYONE. Even that creepy janitor." Dib told the guidance counselor, leaning back in the chair, Two's smirk lingering in his mind. "Or else something terrible is going to happen."

"Dib, did a friend of yours say they're going to blow up the school?" The guidance counselor wanted to know, his darkened skin paling slightly.

Dib's eyes went wide.

There it was...

...hope. Why hadn't he seen it before? It was such a simple solution.

"Yes, yes." Dib said fervently. "...except he's not really a friend, he...he said he was going to blow the whole school sky-high after lunch period, Mr. Thildari." Dib informed the guidance counselor, shaking him by his shoulders, back and forth, back and forth.

The guidance counselor looked deep into Dib's eyes, mouth becoming a taut line as if "reading" him. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully before closing his green eyes and letting out a soft, long sigh. "I believe you." He told Dib. "I'll inform the principal and vice principal about this, and I'll have everyone escorted out of the building until the police can search the grounds."

Dib inwardly cheered for joy as Mr. Thildari stood up and headed for the staff wing, punching the air as he headed off to class. He won. He'd WON.

Or at least...so he thought.

"I should have KNOWN you'd cheat." Two muttered furiously, sitting in a tree outside of school, his fists clenching tightly as red energy swirled off his body like sparks off a fire as his own ring swirled around him like a tiny fly, buzzing, buzzing.

"Calling in help like that, you great big cheater...well, you're about to find out that I'm just as petty and immature as you, Dib Membrane..." The Irken chuckled darkly. "I suppose the saying's true. If you want something done right..."

He hopped down from the tree, making his way towards the school as red energy seeped off his body, his footprints leaving behind burning indents within the ground as he chuckled coldly.

"You have to do it yourself."

#invader zim #zim #superhero #superheroes #Dib #Gaz #Two #Zerinim #action #adventure #fanfic #fanfiction

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unsteadygalaxy · 3 years

Text

all is soft inside chapter 9

a miragehound multichapter fanfiction

Also posted on Ao3, my username is the same there!

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9. scars we cover up with paint

The first thing they’re aware of once the gunfire stops is Elliott running towards them, and they don’t quite register what he’s doing until he’s already done it.

Elliott is hugging them fiercely, whooping and hollering and jumping up and down, and they stand in his embrace as stiff as a board. He picks them up and spins them around, laughing joyfully. They’re delighted to have won, of course, but they didn’t expect Elliott’s reaction in the slightest. His warmth, his smell, his softness- all of it engulfs them in one singular moment, and their cheeks burn harder than they have in years. The victory music blares over the loudspeakers, and the surge of pride they had felt blazes in their chest between the two of them. Just before they melt into his touch, he stiffens, puts them down, and jerks away.

“Uh… s-sorry,” he stammers, his eyes wide as he backs up.

They stare at him, at a complete loss for words. Nothing in Bloodhound’s brain is working properly- their thoughts are just one big blank, and it scares them.

Wh-

Gibraltar claps Elliott on the shoulder, laughing that big, booming laugh of his. “Well, would you look at that!” he says, grinning. A relieved whoosh of air leaves Bloodhound’s lungs. “Witt clutches the win! Great job, bruddah. I knew you could do it.”

He shakes himself a little, and turns away from them. “Thanks! Couldn’t have done it without you guys. Or maybe I could’ve. Who knows?” He shrugs and flips his hair a little. The arrogant facade is back, and it makes a twinge of sadness poke at Bloodhound’s heart.

“Well done, félagi,” they say as they cross their arms. “Ég er stoltur af þér.”

“Are you ever going to tell me what that means?” he quips, smiling and rolling his eyes.

Bloodhound laughs, just a little. “I am proud of you.”

The grin that splits his face is enough to warm their chest for the rest of the day.

--------------------

The lights in the Paradise Lounge are dim, and it’s very close to closing time. Bloodhound stands in the doorway, peeking inside from the shadows. Only a few people linger in the bar. Makoa and Ajay are among them, laughing and finishing off their drinks. Elliott is with them, leaning against the bar and sipping at a drink of his own. Bloodhound smiles at the sight. They are grateful that their fellow Legends are (mostly) friendly with one another; the idea of a hostile environment outside of the ring is not particularly enjoyable.

They linger at the doorstep for another moment, debating on whether or not to go in. This is ridiculous, they think. You never show up to post-match celebrations. Why now? But a part of them knows the answer. And another part of them wishes they didn’t.

They shake themself internally. There is no use, they think. They turn to leave. There is no point in staying, no point in mingling with people they rarely speak to, and no point in being here if they couldn’t be alone with-

“Bloodhound?”

Elliott’s voice echoes from behind them, and the residual joy from his win today is evident in his voice. They turn back, and their heart stutters in their chest when their eyes lock on his. The light from the bulbs at the bar paint his face in shades of warm gold and yellow, running fingers of light through his dark hair. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and the top two buttons of his purple button-down are open, giving them an unobstructed view of the top of his chest. They’re suddenly very glad they need a mask to breathe.

“Good evening, Elliott,” they reply, after a horrifyingly long moment. “Hello, Makoa, Ajay.” They incline their head to each of them in turn as they approach the bar.

“Hey, cousin.” Makoa raises his glass to them and smiles widely, nodding.

“‘Sup, BH?” Ajay quips, tossing up a peace sign. “Don’t see yuh here very often. What are yuh up to?”

“Uh, yeah,” Elliott butts in, setting down his glass. “What’s up?”

It strikes Bloodhound that they have absolutely no idea how to respond to that.

“Come on, bruddah, they’re here to celebrate!” Makoa says, raising his bottle and draining it. Bloodhound is beyond grateful for him for the second time today. “And who wouldn’t, with a win like ours? Elliott, my man, that smoke screen idea was fantastic.”

Elliott bows dramatically, flourishing his hand as he goes. “Thank you, thank you,” he says, adopting a grandiose tone that makes Bloodhound roll their eyes. “It was one of my finer ideas, I must admit.”

“All of yuh were on fire today,” Ajay admits, shaking her head. ‘Specially you, Hound. Damn scary when yuh come at everyone while you’re glowin’ like that.”

A twinge of annoyance crosses their chest as it always does whenever someone doesn’t use their full name, but they let it pass. “You fought well, felagi,” they reply. “You managed to evade me, and few are able to do so. I commend you for your efforts.” For the first time they are self-conscious of how stilted and formal they sound, but they don’t know what to do to change that. They look to Elliott and Makoa. “But we still came out victorious in the end, did we not?”

“Hell yeah, we did!” Elliott cheers, smiling widely at them. He raises his glass to try and clink it with theirs, but he seems to realize that he did not offer them one. His eyes go wide for a fraction of a second and red flushes his cheeks. “Uh, you wouldn’t happen to want a drink, would you?” He looks extremely unsure of his offer, and he sets his cup back down on the counter, looking sheepish as he grabs an extra one.

“No, thank you,” Bloodhound replies. “I do not drink.”

“Didn’t think so,” Elliott says quickly, and the cup is gone in an instant.

“I appreciate the gesture.” Bloodhound takes a seat at the bar to Ajay’s left and tries their best to settle in amongst all their gear. It proves to be a little difficult- the bar stool is small and their uniform is awkward. Part of them wishes they had just left their extra gear back at their apartment, but they know they would have felt too exposed without it. They tune back into the conversation just as Makoa begins to laugh.

“--and then I told him, ‘bruddah, it’s gonna take a lot more than that to knock me down!’” He laughs uproariously, and Elliott and Ajay join him, nearly doubling over from their mirth. Bloodhound finds themself staring at Elliott- listening to his amusing laugh, admiring the curve of his smile, enjoying the contour of his jawline amidst his beard. They gaze at him unabashedly under the mask, wondering what it would be like to-

They catch themself.

None of that, they berate themself. Elliott is a friend. Nothing more.

Their chest aches a little at the thought, but Bloodhound staunchly pushes it away.

-------------------------

The night winds down, and Ajay and Makoa soon decide to leave, leaving Bloodhound and Elliott alone in the bar. The three of them were excellent company, and had managed to make Bloodhound laugh a few times. That had surprised Bloodhound; they hadn’t expected to have such a good time. Part of them wondered if it would last, if it was worth it to keep coming back. That was yet to be determined.

Elliott picks up the glasses and begins to clean them. “So, have a good time?” he asks nonchalantly.

“Surprisingly, yes,” they answer, popping their fingers. The social interaction had nearly wiped them out, and they’re nearly ready to retreat back to their small apartment to sleep. They’re looking forward to their day off before the match on King’s Canyon. Strangely enough, coming back to Solace for the Games always felt like coming home.

“‘Surprisingly’?” Elliott says, a laugh pressing at his voice. “What do you mean? C’mon, Bloodhound, can you really resist Makoa’s laugh? Or Ajay’s jokes? Or my unrelenting charm?” He winks at them, biting his lip a little, and there’s a strange fluttering sensation in their stomach.

“What charm?” they deadpan. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Elliott places a hand on his chest, feigning hurt. “You mean you don’t see all of this glorious Witt wit? I’m wounded, Bloodhound, I really am.” He sniffs greatly and pretends to wipe away a tear.

Bloodhound laughs, and their chest hurts a little. “‘Witt wit’?” they ask, incredulous as they shake their head. “That is your worst joke all evening. Including the one about the Gaean golfer.”

Elliott laughs too, throwing his head back in mirth. Bloodhound loves the sound of it. It’s embarrassingly heavy and goofy, but so… Elliott. “Oh man, that golfer joke gets people every time,” he says, patting his chest absentmindedly. He sighs, a smile still resting on his face. “It’s just classic.”

Bloodhound shakes their head again, smiling under the mask. It strikes them how effortless this feels. They didn’t like talking to others for long, but Elliott... Elliott is different.

And that confuses the hell out of them.

“Thank you for your company, Elliott,” they say. “I quite enjoyed the evening.”

“It was good to see you,” he replies as he finishes cleaning the glasses. “Why don’t you come around more often? I would- I mean, we- would love to see more of you.” Elliott’s cheeks flush a little, which Bloodhound notices.

“I… will consider it,” they answer carefully. They truly had a great time, but… a small part of them nags at their brain, kicking up a stir and whispering, You do not belong here. You do not deserve this. It kicks at their heart, forcing it back into the box where it belongs. Their feet shift to get up from the stool, but their body does not follow.

“Fair enough,” Elliott says. He seems to think for a moment, and then asks, “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

Bloodhound considers this. “Yes. But know that I may not give you a straight answer.”

“Oh, believe me, I know,” he laughs. Then, he sobers up and looks a little unsure of himself. “I noticed you when we were on the Epicenter tower earlier. You had a little case and it looked like you were meditating or something. What were you doing?”

The question catches them somewhat off guard. They didn’t expect him to be quite so bold in asking, though they can’t really blame him. Maybe it’s the lateness of the hour, or maybe it’s because of the happiness they’ve felt, but they answer him honestly. “I was offering a prayer to the gods,” they say.

“What about?” he asks. “For the match?” Part of them is a little bothered at his nosiness, but they know it’s because of the whiskey he’s had. He’s not drunk, but he has had enough to loosen his tongue a little.

“Yes, and no,” they reply. A familiar sense of grief floods their chest, and they allow it to visit and poke around a little. The words are spilling from their mouth before they realize what they’re saying, their tongue loosened by the pain and the growing trust they have in him. “I asked the Allfather to strengthen us and lead us to victory.” They swallow, suddenly feeling like a deer in the headlights. “I also... asked him to keep my mother and father’s spirits at rest.”

Elliott raises his eyebrows, and his mouth opens a little. “Oh,” he says. “Um… what happened to them?”

They hesitate.

“Do you know the history behind World’s Edge?” they ask quietly. That nagging part of them starts to scream and thrash, but they seize it and stuff it away.

“Not really,” he says, rubbing his neck. “All I know is that there was a huge meltdown at an IMC facility like, thirty years ago or something, and that’s what caused all the ice around Epicenter. Why?”

Bloodhound sighs, and their heart feels raw and tender as it emerges from the box they had so carefully squeezed it into.

The snow beneath their feet crunches as they approach the tower. It looms above them, taunting them, digging its claws into their soul and ripping away the layers and layers of protection they had so meticulously constructed. The mountains of ice around them seem to collapse over them, trapping them inside and suffocating them. Their eyes sting and burn, their legs shake, and sweat runs down their back in waves. Bloodhound knows that somewhere, deep below the remnants of this facility, the corpses of their mother and father have solidified into ice.

Ajay stops next to them, staring at them for a moment. “Yuh all right, BH?”

They cannot answer; their throat is clamped shut with freezing irons, and their jaw will not open. Their goggles are fogging up, and their vision is blurry. Their breaths come in quick, half-gasps, and their hands tremble.

“Bloodhound?” Anita’s voice is firm, but warm. The two women look at them, concerned.

“I…” they manage. “I am fine. Please continue on. I will loot here.”

“Yuh know that’s bullshit,” Ajay replies steadily. “Come on, what’s up?”

“I told you I am fine. Please do not worry.”

Ajay rolls her eyes. “Fine, but don’t come cryin’ to me later when you need a rez.” She turns and begins to make her way down the hill.

Anita stares at them sternly, but not devoid of concern, and asks, “You gonna be good for combat?”

Bloodhound clenches their fists to stop them from shaking. “Yes.”

They slowly pull out the silver case from an inside pocket of their jacket and open it. Their parents stare up at them, smiling happily. Their father’s youthful optimism and spark shine through the photo, and he cradles their mother lovingly. Their mother was so beautiful. Her ginger hair matches their own, and she holds an infant Bloodhound in her arms. Opposite the pair of them, their uncle Artur sits stiffly for his picture, blushing a little in discomfort. His bushy red beard covers his mouth completely, but Bloodhound knows he’s smiling anyway.

They stare at the pictures, willing the ache in their body to subside. “My mother and father were brilliant scientists,” they say. They slide the case over to Elliott, their heart pounding in their chest harder than it ever has before. “The IMC recruited them for their research on energy harvesting. They brought me to Talos when I was very young, and they began to build a life for us.” Their voice tightens fractionally, and they force their throat to relax, because there is no way in Hel they are going to cry in front of him right now.

“The IMC meddled with concepts and forces they did not understand, and my parents suffered because of it.” They did not meet Elliott’s eyes. “When the facility exploded, it caused a meltdown, and my parents were caught in it. They are still there, somewhere. Under the ice. They would not allow us to retrieve the bodies.”

Elliott is silent for a few agonizing moments. “Y-Your parents…” he starts, his voice shocked. “Your parents are… under Epicenter?”

“Yes.”

“And you have to walk over their corpses every time you’re there?” Bloodhound hears him pick up the case, and he takes a few moments to examine it. “Oh, my God. I don’t know what to say.” They hear him swallow thickly, and his voice is quiet and reverent the next time he speaks. “I’m… I’m so sorry.”

“Do not be,” Bloodhound sighs. “It was many years ago.” The last thing they want or need is for Elliott to pity them. While traversing World’s Edge had severely jarred them at first, they had managed to somewhat make peace with their horrifying obligation to walk over their parents’ graves. They did not need anyone else to feel their emotions for them. Especially Elliott.

“How the hell do you deal with that?” Elliott asks, his voice hushed. “I mean, I have no idea what I would do.”

“It was… difficult at first,” they admit reluctantly. They look over to him, and their heart stops in their chest. He’s examining the pictures inside it with a fascinated horror, his mouth open, his eyes wide. It’s as though he’s in a trance.

They swallow hard and continue speaking. “It is still difficult, if I must be honest. That is why I ask the gods for strength every time I am there.”

Elliott is quiet for a long time as he stares at the case, and Bloodhound begins to worry that they have said too much, dumped too much on his head. They start to push their heart back into the box they had constructed, and the nagging voice comes back- stupid, stupid, STUPID-

“You’re incredible,” he murmurs, and the kindness and awe in his voice makes their head snap up to meet his gaze.

Elliott stares at them with open admiration and reverence. The honesty of it makes them want to hide away, because they certainly do not deserve these words.

“I told you before, I am human, like you.” Their voice comes out far more irritated than they intended, and they wince. “I appreciate your compliment, but please know I am not anything special.”

“Oh, come on,” Elliott says, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. “That’s absolute bullshit. You’re special. You kick ass, you’re powerful, you carry my sorry ass through basically every match we’re teamed up in-”

“That is not true, Elliott,” they interrupt, the annoyance building more now. “You held your own today, and I was very proud of you. I am very proud of you.”

He shakes his head, visibly biting back a smile. “Okay, fine, I did all right in today’s game. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re one of the most valuable assets to any team.”

It’s Bloodhound’s turn to shake their head. “I simply do what the Allfather asks of me, nothing more. The outcome of any match is written before we even step into the arena, and there is no changing that.”

“You seriously believe that?” Elliott asks. “You seriously think that our fates are set in stone and we can’t do a damn thing to change them?” The frustration of the other night is returning, and Bloodhound hates that they are the cause of it.

“Yes, Elliott,” they fire back, feeling exhausted and exasperated. “I do. You do not have to agree, but that is the principle on which I have fashioned my entire life. Please do not disrespect that.”

He sighs, waving his hands in a placating gesture. “All right, sorry, sorry. All I’m saying is, maybe you should have a little faith in yourself every once in a while. I’m sure your gods are fa- fast- great, but so are you.” He leans on the counter across from them, his hands coming to rest on the lacquered wood.

“You know not of what you speak,” they murmur quietly. Under any other circumstance, they would be angry, but they cannot summon up the energy. “I am not hrokafullur- arrogant- enough to think that I will succeed alone.” Their heart aches, and their chest feels like it’s being crushed with frustration and grief. They’ve done so well in managing their emotions up until now, but talking about their parents has put them in a place they have done their best to avoid for a very long time. Why him? Why Elliott? Why do they feel like he can be trusted, despite everything they have buried? Despite everything they have done?

“I’m not saying you need to do anything alone, Bloodhound,” Elliott replies, his voice patient. “I’m just saying you need to give yourself more credit. You’re seriously the greatest warrior I’ve ever met.” He looks at them expectantly, and Bloodhound can see the expectation on his face. But there’s something else there, too- a boldness that Bloodhound has come to miss from him. They stare directly into his beautiful brown eyes, not breaking eye contact. For the first time, the simple act of looking at him makes their face heat up, and if it wasn’t for the mask, they would have looked away a long time ago. They notice that his hands are very, very close to theirs, and the desire to reach out and touch him is far more intense than they bargained for.

Bloodhound finally sighs and looks down. “I am sorry, vinur minn. Thank you, but I cannot agree.” Their voice is barely above a whisper, and it takes a great amount of effort to make anything audible. “Maybe one day, but…”

They suddenly feel pressure against their hands, and they look over to them quickly. Elliott’s hands are trembling, and his knuckles are pressing against their gloved fingers with hesitation. They inhale sharply, flinching, but a part of Bloodhound forces their body to relax, to welcome his touch, even though the other part is screaming at them to run away. Time stretches out like molasses, and Bloodhound reaches further across the bar. That nagging part of them begs them to stop, but they shove it away angrily. The instant their hands make contact with his, their heart stills, and it’s only then that they realize it’s been pounding and roaring in their ears. They do not dare look into his eyes, because they don’t want to see pity or admiration or anything else he has for them. They don’t want his kindness.

Yes, you do, they think. You want it so badly you think your soul is going to burst. You are pathetic, craving affection and acceptance from those who it is most unattainable from. You really think Mirage can save you? You really think Elliott Witt, heartthrob of the Outlands, will listen to your woes? You are a naive child, and nothing has changed. You are the same person you were all those years ago when Boone-

“Hey, um…” Elliott’s voice startles them out of their thoughts, and they meet his eyes. There is no pity there, only patience and a determined concern. “I… I know we don’t know each other very well, but… If you ever need to talk about anything or whatever, I’ve got ears.” His cheeks redden, and he begins to babble, letting go of Bloodhound’s hands to gesticulate wildly. “I mean, I’m all yours- I’ve got ea- ugh, I’ve got you and I’m all ears.” He stares intently at the wood of the bar, blushing a bright red as he crosses his arms and hides his face in his hand.

Something inside Bloodhound fills them with a strange kind of static. It feels warm and alarming all at once. It pools in their stomach, swirling around with a pleasant feeling, and all they can do for a moment is stare and blush furiously. Their heart starts pounding in their ears again. They’re surprised by his words. For so long, they have been the one to reassure and uplift others. And now, someone is reciprocating? Someone cares? Elliott cares?

The feeling inside them multiples and a soft peace quiets the annoyances that have plagued them all evening. “That is… very much appreciated, Elliott.” Their throat is tight, and they have to fight to keep their voice steady.

“Hey, no problem,” he shrugs. “It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for me. My advice might not be great, but I can try.”

“The effort is appreciated,” they murmur. They want to take his hands again. They want to feel his skin on theirs again. They want to know what it would feel like to be held in his arms and kept safe. They want to-

“Oh, hey, here’s this.” Elliott offers the case back to them, and they shake themself out of their thoughts as their cheeks burn.

“Thank you.” They take it from him and tuck it back into their jacket pocket.

“Who’s the other guy? The one with the awesome beard?” Elliott strokes his own face as he says this, brushing his fingers through his already-perfect facial hair.

Bloodhound smiles. “That is my uncle, Artur.” They look into his face, taking advantage of the mask so they can stare at his gorgeous features unabashedly.

“Is he… you know… still around?” he asks, hesitation written all over him.

A deep feeling in their chest twists around painfully, and their scars seem to burn. Their lungs ache and clench, and the air seems to leak out of them at an agonizing pace. Bloodhound’s heart begins to pound again, and blood rushes through their veins. “No, he is not,” they reply, trying to calm themself down. Breathe in. One, two, three, four-

“I’m sorry.” Elliott is silent for a moment. “What happened to him?”

It’s an innocent enough question, but it makes adrenaline shoot through Bloodhound’s veins like Octane’s stim. A horrible buzzing sound fills their ears, and their mouth runs dry. Their palms begin to sweat, making their gloves feel too tight around their hands. Dread fills their stomach and seizes their lungs, making it nearly impossible to breathe. What breath they do manage to take in is choppy, uneven. That awful nagging voice is back, screeching into their ears- your fault, your fault, your fault-

“Th-that is a story for another time,” they manage, and they get up from the bar, their limbs shaking.

“Hey, wait, are you okay?” Elliott asks, and there’s concern all over his face. He reaches out over the bar and tries to steady them, but they’re already moving towards the door. “Bloodhound! Wait!”

“Please, Elliott, I am fine,” they choke, their vision beginning to blur. “I will see you in the match.”

“Bloodhound, come back-”

But they’re already out the door and swiftly striding down the street towards their apartment, leaving Elliott and his reaching heart behind.

When they make it back to their tiny apartment on the third floor, they slam the door behind them and rush to the bathroom. They pull off the gloves, helmet, goggles, and mask and set them on the counter. Shuddering gasps hiss through their teeth as they turn on the tap and plunge their hands beneath the icy water. They pull the stopper in the sink and let the liquid pool until it’s deep enough to plunge their face into. Bloodhound leans over the counter, takes a deep breath, and presses their head into the water, keeping it there as long as they can stand it.

They gasp, stumbling backwards from the sink until their back makes contact with the door. Water runs down their face in rivulets, soaking their jacket and hair. They breathe heavily for a few moments, and they meet their own gaze in the mirror. Their scarred skin is red from shock, and their hair sticks to itself, drenched. For one eternal second, everything is fine.

But the moment passes, and they sink to their knees, burying their face in their hands as sobs begin to burst from their mouth.

#miragehound #apex #apex legends #bloodhound #elliott witt #bloodhound apex #bloodhound apex legends #elliott witt apex #elliott witt apex legends #mirage #mirage apex #mirage apex legends #miragehound fanfiction #my writing

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rosemarypasta · 4 years

Text

➤ pairing : oikawa tooru x female reader (karasuno manager)

➤ chapter warnings : slowburn (?)

➤ summary : You just recently joined the Karasuno boy’s volleyball team as their first year manager. As you grow closer to your teammates, you also unexpectedly grow closer to one of their biggest rivals, Oikawa Tooru

➤ chapter word count: 1939

-ˏˋ chapter four ˊˎ-

THURSDAY

4:00 PM

"TANAKA AND NOYA, KEEP IT DOWN!" Daichi yelled, his head turned to the back of the bus where a mixture of wild and feral first year and second year volleyball players sat. He turned back and sank into his seat in the first row of the bus where he was sat with the rest of his first years players who were seated across you and Shimizu. The scolding Daichi gave his team was very much effective however, all hell breaks loose once more as the bus stops for a toilet break in a gas station and everyone chaotically raced to get off the bus. You didn't need the toilet so you stayed back and remained seated.

You felt your pocket vibrate and you mentally squealed with glee. You rushed to pull your phone out and read the message sent to you.

Oikawa: hey :) are you there yet?

You looked around to see if anyone was snooping but thankfully, a good 9/10 of the team went to to use the toilet so no one was there to read your messages.

Y/N: We're almost there! Hinata begged for another toilet break...

Oikawa: hahahaha if he were on my team i would've just left him

You smiled at his playful message and began to type another reply.

"Watcha smiling at?" A voice in front of you said out of nowhere. You jumped in your seat at the sight of the charismatic yet cunning vice captain and accidentally threw your phone up in the air. The silver haired boy laughed at your overreaction and bent down to pick your phone up as you felt your cheeks and ears burn up.

"Man, we're never gonna reach Seijoh at this point." He groaned as he handed your phone back. The Karasuno volleyball team was headed to another practice match with Aoba Johsai but this time, it was held in their school.

It has been over a week since you last saw OIkawa and traded phone numbers with him. You've been texting him on a daily basis at this point and you felt ecstatic when Takeda sensei announced the practice match. You had to conceal your smile as the announcement was taking place as you felt Tanaka and Nishinoya's eyes burning a hole on your back, as if they knew exactly what was going through your head. Of course, you kept the fact that you've been getting friendly with their rival's team captain under wraps, though it wasn't like anyone has come up to you and asked who you were texting so you weren't technically lying about anything but you did feel guilty for some reason.

"What are you thinking about Y/N?" Sugawara hummed as he fixed some bags on the overhead compartment above your seat. "O-oh um nothing, I was just wondering why we don't have practice matches with other schools," you lied, "I never knew Karasuno had such strong ties with Seijoh." Sugawara rested his chin on top of the seat beside me, furrowing his eyebrows in deep thought. "That's true, it's odd how Aoba Johsai asks for a practice match so soon after our last one, especially because they won previously. During my entire three years in this club, Seijoh has only reached out to us a total of three times so they must really like us now huh." He shrugged. You were about to continue the conversation but the bus was shortly filled back in with the rest of the team and you were forced to continue the journey to the practice match.

You arrived in another fifteen minutes and the boys immediately started to stretch and warm up for the practice match they were all so pumped about, still unsatisfied with the result from the match they previously had. You took a seat beside coach Ukai and Shimizu and pulled out a notebook and a pen from your backpack to take down notes of the match. A student from Seijoh playing as the referee blew his whistle and commenced the match.

You looked over to Aoba Johsai's side of the court to see Oikawa serving first. His brown hair was styled as usual with no hair out of place and his veins on his right arm popped ever so slightly as he held the volleyball he was going to serve with one hand. He threw the ball up in the air and your eyes unexpectedly met. He smirked in the midst of jumping to deliver his signature jump serve and hit the ball with all the power he had. Though the power he had could leave anyone in awe, the word "OUT" echoed the gym and Oikawa was greeted with a smack on his head by his vice captain, Iwaizumi, who he frequently mentioned in your conversations.

The entire team glanced menacingly at their captain while he rubbed the back of his neck and gave them a playful wink, making you giggle at the sight of the peculiar volleyball captain. You thought all captains of any sports team would be more reliable and mature like Daichi but you guess you were wrong.

The matched resumed and the ball Kageyama served turned to be a chance ball for Seijoh. The ball fell into Oikawa's hands and he perfectly and accurately sets to his vice captain, allowing him to spike. The white uniformed team momentarily cheered at their first point of the day and their first years gave Oikawa showers of praises for the performance he just did. "I guess he is reliable in his own special way." You quietly whispered to yourself, subtly smiling at him.

The game resumes as usual. Aoba Johsai snatched the win for the first set and the two teams took a five minute break before resuming the match. Oikawa winks at you before running towards his bench to get a drink and to discuss tactics with his fellow teammates.

"Dude, what is up with you." Iwaizumi asked his captain after dragging him out of the crowd of resting volleyball players. "What are you talking about?" Oikawa innocently replied, casting a smile towards his childhood friend. The shorter of the two tightened his grip on his water bottle as he saw his fabricated smile. "Don't tell me you went all the way to beg the coach to set up a practice match with Karasuno just to hit on a girl." Iwaizumi sighed as he came to the realization of his best friend's intentions, "I know you're a bit messed up in your head but this is the first time I've seen you go this far just to get a girl's attention." He started, putting his hand on his captain's shoulder but before he could go on any further, a whistle was blown, commencing the start of the next set. Oikawa slyly grinned, mentally thanking the referee for getting him out of a lecture and started to jog back to the court. "Just quit staring at her, I'm sure blondie over there already got a hint on what you're after." The Seijoh ace whispered to the captain, averting his gaze from a not so happy Tsukishima, who was trying to look at Oikawa dead in the eye.

6:00 PM

The two schools managed to finish two three set games by the time the sun has already begun to set. Fortunately, Karasuno was able to win a game which means each Seijoh and Karasuno won three sets by the end of the day. This improvement left a happier and satisfied impression with the Karasuno team which made you happy as well, seeing them so proud with their performance.

Everyone was already outside, getting ready to board the bus back home and were all noisily discussing the match. Knowing how immature and irresponsible the boys can be, Shimizu took it upon herself to take a quick scan of Seijoh's gym to make sure none of them left any of their belongings like the responsible manager she is but, you stopped her as you felt bad that you didn't do nearly as much work as she has done. You told her not to worry and to save you a seat on the bus before running back into the gym.

You knew the boys were exhausted from the intense and long rallies they had throughout the game so they were dying to go back home to get a proper rest so, you sprinted into the gym and attempted to get back to the bus as fast as you can.

You scanned the floors for any familiar bags and the area where you and Shimizu sat and realized that nothing was left behind. You turned sharply after checking under the benches and expected to see the view of the gym's polished wooden floors but all you can see was pitch black nothingness as your face made "thud" noise.

"Y/N-chan?" The wall you just collided with spoke. You raised your head quickly in embarrassment as you realized you just ran into Oikawa, to be specific, ran into his torso. You shifted your gaze from his white uniformed abdomen to the confused look he was wearing on his face.

You were speechless. You didn't know what to say or do. A million thoughts are running through your head, attempting to find ways to cope with the embarrassing act you've just done but a laugh interrupted your thinking. "Man, Y/N-chan, you gotta be more careful from now on! What if you did this to Mad Dog-chan? He'd bite your head off!" He chuckled as he patted your head softly. You stared at him in disbelief, trying to piece your thoughts together as your whole face turned red. All you could say was "sorry" in the midst of his fits of laughter.

"But I'm glad I was able to bump into you alone Y/N! Metaphorically and physically." He said as he finally calmed down, his face beaming at yours. "W-Why?" You stammered, still not over what just happened. Oikawa bent down close to your left ear promptly, not giving you time to fluster over his abrupt move. He was so close you could feel his warm breath on the left side of your neck. "Well afterall, I did arrange all this just so I could see you again." His voice soothed. You felt your surroundings go mute again, just like the last time you saw him. Without skipping a beat, he continued. "Y/N-chan." His voice was deeper than usual, a serious tone draped over your name. Without realizing, you held your breath in anticipation of his next words.

"Will you go on a date with me?"

You turned your head to face him. A date? The captain of Seijoh's volleyball team is asking you on a date? Everything felt surreal and the whole world seemed to spin. Your breathing was deep and slow as your gaze met his sickly sweet smile.

You were ecstatic. Never in a million years, you would've thought your classic case of unrequited love and admiration would turn up like a protagonist's love story in a shojo manga. Your heart was beating so fast, it felt like it could leap out of your throat. You wanted to scream yes immediately, however a series of coughs from the entrance of the gym interrupted the golden moment you were experiencing.

Both you and Oikawa, whose bodies were an inch apart, diverted your attention to the tall blonde boy leaning against the door, just a few steps away from where you were.

"We're waiting for you, Y/N."

next: -ˏˋ chapter five ˊˎ-

previous: -ˏˋ chapter three ˊˎ-

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okayoonoh · 4 years

Text

clumsy joy

“This clumsy little joy that giggles oh so brightly in his arms makes everything that pains him worth it.”

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- PAIRING: johnny seo x reader - GENRE: cute, tooth rotting, family fluff - RATING: E for everyone - WORD COUNT: 3,284 - WARNINGS: other than the possible heart attacks of imagining johnny seo as a dad? no warnings whatsoever

a/n : i wanted to take a quick break from writing the descriptions of the kids because i’ve been writing so many descriptions, i need to take a sec to keep things original lol

also! here’s the masterlist to all things nct dad related! i hope you guys like this little scenario :)

---

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Johnny thanks the staff that helped him get all the way upstairs with all of his stuff.

He just finished a tour with his group, equally rewarding, equally hectic. Don’t get him wrong, Johnny loves his group: his fans, his music, his members, but sometimes, the hectic life of an idol is too much for him. Sometimes, NCT’S Johnny just wants to be Johnny Seo: husband and father of three beautiful children.

He takes out his keys, a smile on his face. He’s excited; after 3 months of only seeing you, his lovely wife, and his adorable little children through a screen, he’s excited to finally see them in person.

He steps inside, completely ready to hear the natural noisiness of his family, but a beat of silence rushes over him instead. He checks his phone, 2:30 PM.

Oh, Noah and Leo are still at school.

Only a couple lights throughout the house were lit, the gentle buzz of the A/C hums in the background. He walks towards the living room, about to call out your name to see if you’re home. He stops right before he does though, glad he stopped when he did. His heart flutters at the sight he sees in the messy living room: you asleep on the couch with your daughter sleeping on your chest. Her fist is clenched near her mouth, drool leaking out of her mouth onto your shirt. Her long lashes rest against her cheeks, her nose, which resembles your own, sings a sweet whistle displaying the life within her lungs, her chubby cheeks squished up against your chest, moving up in down in a calm pattern. Your hand rested on her back, reassuring your daughter that you were there.

Everything about this moment in time is perfect in Johnny’s eyes.

He takes out his phone from his back pocket, snapping a quick picture of his two girls. He leans over, kisses your temple, kisses his daughter’s head, then heads off to your room to unpack. Of course he wanted nothing more than to spend quality time with his two girls, but he also knew that waking the two of you mid-nap is basically a death sentence.

Besides, he has two boys who’ll be home in less than an hour. Johnny waited for 3 months to see his family, he doesn’t mind waiting another hour.

---

“Mom! I’m home! Kaleb is here, too!”

You jolt awake to the sound of your oldest son, Noah, opening the door. You feel the little sleepy Luna on your chest begin to stir, but you shush her and lull her back to sleep. You yawn as you gently move her to the little tent sitting on the side of the living room that Johnny set up for the kids, pulling her favorite blanket over her as she remains asleep.

You walk over to your son and his best friend, greeting the both of them. “Hey you two! How was school?”

Noah and Kaleb both give you a hug, “It was fine. We played soccer today and they put Kaleb and I on separate teams.”

“I won, Auntie!” Kaleb beams with pride, a wide smile on his face. You smooth over his long hair, smiling down at the happy kid.

“Good job, Kaleb! I’m sure your dad is going to be very proud of you!” Kaleb giggles at your praise while Noah rolls his eyes on the side.

“You totally cheated though!” Noah crosses his arms.

“Are we seriously still on this?”

“Yes! Last time I checked, when the ball goes out of the line, it’s out.”

“It didn’t even go out of the line though!”

You chuckle under your breath with how far this little argument is escalating. Kaleb and Noah’s dynamic is just like their fathers, even down to the smallest details.

You lower your voice to a whisper, acknowledging the sleeping toddler in the side of the living room. “Alright alright, you boys can settle it on another game of soccer later, but right now, you have to be very quiet. Luna is still asleep, okay?”

Noah and Kaleb nod at your request, immediately lowering their volume as they still argue about who truly won. Both boys decide to let bygones be bygones, knowing that their science project is way more important than this argument.

“Kaleb and I need to finish up our science project. Is it okay if we move to the kitchen after we prepare everything?” Noah asks.

You nod, “Just as long as you guys clean up when you’re done. I’ll go ahead and make you guys some snacks for now.”

Noah then whispers to you, “Okay! Thanks, momma. Oh, by the way, is appa home? I thought I saw his shoes…”

“I’m not sure, is appa home?” a voice whispers from behind you.

Noah, Kaleb, and you all turn around to the source of that voice. Johnny stands behind you, a wide grin on his face. Your heart jumps as you return that smile, hugging the tall man. Noah then runs, hugging his father. You are a little confused: last time you talked with your husband, he said that his flight won’t land until late at night. The fact that he’s standing in front of you is genuinely a serendipitous surprise.

“I thought you weren’t coming home until--”

“--My flight left earlier than expected. I got here like an hour ago.” He replies, his wide smile still plastered on his face.

“An hour ago?” You gape, “I’ve been home since then… I’m so sorry, how did I not notice you?”

“You and Luna were both out. Don’t worry about it; it was one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.”

You all break away from the hug, then Johnny squats down to his son's height. Noah smiles at his dad as Johnny holds his face in his hands, giving him a big kiss on the top of his head.

“You’ve grown so much, Noah!”

Noah giggles at his dad, wrapping his arms around his neck, giving him another hug.

Kaleb then walks over, greeting the tall man, “Hello Uncle!”

Johnny gives him a hug as well, “Hey Kaleb! How are you doing?”

“I’m doing well,” he replies, “My dad is having a little bit of a hard time with Shawn and Aria, but with mom’s help, he’s just fine.”

“I bet. Do you like being an older brother?”

Kaleb doesn’t miss a beat, “I like being able to tell Shawn what to do. Aria is still too little and she doesn’t understand me. But Shawn listens.”

You and Johnny laugh at his response. Kaleb is definitely Ten’s son. The two boys then excuse themselves and head over to Noah’s room.

You head off towards the kitchen, making the snacks you promised as Johnny crawls into the tent his sleepy daughter rests in. She starts to get a little fussy in her sleep, Johnny shushes her gently and smooths over her growing hair. He then finds a pacifier resting on the table right outside of the tent, putting it inside of her mouth. She falls asleep peacefully again. Johnny could watch his daughter for hours and he would, but then again, he is a bit peckish and his loving wife is in the kitchen. He stands up and with long strides he easily reaches you while you work, chopping away on some carrots.

He digs his head into your shoulder, placing a heavy kiss on your cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

You gently place the knife down and smooth your hands over his arms, relaxing into his embrace. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“Europe was fun, but almost everything I saw reminded me of you and the kids… speaking of, where’s Leo? I thought he was coming home with Noah?”

You turn around in his arms, looping your arms around his neck, “Leo went on a playdate with Jaeseok and Jaehun. I was going to go and pick him up later, but since you’re home now, do you want to?”

“That’s no problem.” He smiles. “I see that Leo has taken up acting now?”

“He spent one afternoon with the twins and they watched their Uncle Renjun in his drama once and now they want to dedicate their lives to it. I’ve been looking into some auditions for some commercials for him and he seems pretty excited for all of it.” You look up as you list all ideas you’ve been thinking of to help out your second son. Johnny gives you a smile filled with pride.

“Really?” he exclaims, “That’s so exciting!”

You nod, now digging your head in his chest. You missed this, feeling safe and secure in the arms of your husband. He presses a long kiss the top of your head, taking in a deep breath.

“What time does he need to be picked up?” He says, breaking the silence.

“Around 5:30. He’ll definitely be excited to see his dad.” you squeeze him one last time then he lets go, you go back to finish snacks you promised for your boys.

Johnny’s ears perk at the sound of Noah and Kaleb leaving Noah’s room, arguing again about Kaleb’s win as they head to the table, laying out all of their equipment to work on their science project together. He takes a step back to look at this one point in his life. He’s happy.

---

“Dad… dad, wake up, this is the best part!”

Johnny takes in a quick breath, feeling a tiny but mighty shake on his left arm. He wakes up from his 2-minute micro nap, attempting to take in what he’s missed. Leo sits on his left, Luna gnawing on a cracker to his right, Noah and Kaleb sit at the dining table working diligently together and you’re in the kitchen getting dinner ready. Leo watches the screen with intensity, seemingly trying to take in every subtle detail in the acting on screen. Luna watches too, but she definitely takes more interest in her cracker than the handsome man on the screen.

Johnny rests his hand on his son’s head, “Do you want to be an actor when you grown up?”

Leo looks up at his dad, his big eyes full of excitement. “Yes! Jaeseok and Jaehun want to join me too! They said that we'll be the best in the world! That’s why I want to study up, I don’t want to miss anything the professionals say!”

“Well, the best way to learn acting is to watch it,” Johnny smiles, “I also need to study up to improve my acting too, I’ll study with you!”

Leo returns his father’s smile with one almost identical to Johnny’s own, excited to have his father’s support in this.

Luna looks at her big brother and her father, chewing the last bits of her cracker. She then huffs, she wants to be on the ground so she can work on her newfound ability of crawling and standing up on her own. She cooes and raises her arms, which catches Johnny’s attention. He then picks up his little one, placing her on his lap. She huffs again; this isn’t what she meant. She wants down, not up. Luna attempts to wiggle out of his grasp, frustrated that she can’t vocalize what she wants.

“Oh, you want down?” Johnny asks his youngest. Yes, appa. She wants down. He then helps her to the ground, keeping an eye on her to make sure this is what she really wanted.

Her fussing ceased as she crawled around on the padded floor, heading straight towards the tent to grab her favorite toy. Johnny and Leo both bring their attention back to the drama, letting Luna play on her own for a little bit.

Luna enjoys each and every single one of her toys, from her brother’s old trucks and dinosaurs to her very own plushies. She decides to occupy herself with her current favorite toy: her red soft chewing circle. Almost all of her teeth have grown in, but her insatiable hunger constantly needs her to at least chew on something. She grabbed the toy and crawled her way back in front of the TV, now gnawing on the red circle rather than her cracker. This will have to do for now.

She looks up at the people trapped behind the screen. She can’t really understand what they are saying and she doesn’t understand why they are not dancing in colorful costumes. As quickly as she gained interest in this drama, she lost it. Luna decides that now is as best time as ever to practice her newfound skills.

She drops her toy. It’s now or never. She leans forward until her palms hit the ground, she huffs again, putting all of her might in this motion.

She adjusts, planting her sock clad feet on the padded surface and takes a final mighty push up, taking her stand. It’s a little wobbly, but she did it, she’s up on two legs. She stands for a mere beat more, but then the strength of her legs can no longer hold her up as she falls on her diaper covered bum. She giggles, enjoying her small accomplishment.

No one notices Luna do her thing; Johnny and Leo focus the drama, Kaleb and Noah work on their project, you working hard to make sure the house doesn’t burn down. Luna doesn’t mind, she knows that everyone in this house already witnessed her do this before. It’s the next stage that she wants her family to acknowledge.

She’s happy, but not satisfied. She knows she can do more. Luna wants to take her skill a step further. She readies herself, preparing everything so she can successfully stand up.

Step one: standing. Complete.

She balances with determination; she can’t fall. It takes too much energy to fall and reset, she must keep pushing with elegance and poise.

She then moves her right foot, stomping in the motion she watches everyone in her life move with. Okay, that wasn’t so bad. She does it again, but she slips, her balance gone.

This fall was louder than the previous, catching the attention of her father.

“Oh no, Luna,” Johnny coos, “Are you okay?”

“Oh, don’t worry dad. Luna likes to stand up on her own and fall on her butt. It’s her new favorite game.” Leo informs his father, his eyes never leaving the screen. Johnny nods, then turns his attention back to the drama.

She’s fine. She’s okay. Sympathy is not what Luna needs right now. What she needs right now is a break, so she can gather up her strength and go again.

Okay. It’s go time. This is the one. Luna will take her first steps tonight.

She repeats the process and stands mighty and tall, this time easier than the other times. She stomps her right foot; easy peasy. She presses her weight on her right, balancing herself out.

“Hey, I’m gonna grab my water, I left it in your room,” Kaleb says, standing from his seat. Noah nods, too invested in coloring the water droplets for their water cycle project.

Kaleb begins walking towards Noah’s room, passing by the living room where Leo and Johnny watch their drama. The TV grabs his attention first, but a small, wobbly thing moves in his peripherals, causing him to look towards the foreign thing in his vision. He sees Luna on the ground, wobbling back and forth, but on two legs?

He looks at Johnny and Leo on the couch, trying to see if they notice this two but both of their attention is on the screen, captivated by the actor’s performance.

Is this Luna taking her first steps? Surely Noah would have told Kaleb about this milestone, but Kaleb can’t recall Noah even mentioning anything like this. He watches Luna again, seeing her lean too far to the left. He rushes over to her, catching her before she falls. He squats behind the toddler, his hands hovering on her sides just in case she loses her balance again.

“Uh… Uncle Johnny…” Kaleb starts, uncertain with this entire situation. Luna still marches on, or at least, tries to. “I think Luna is taking her first steps.”

Everyone’s attention is now on Kaleb and Luna, Kaleb steadying Luna again as she starts to lose balance, this time, to the right side. Her arms grab onto his hands as she steadies herself, determination fills her features. She is sure as heck not giving up, but she’s glad she has assistance now.

Johnny audibly gasps and rushes over to Luna and Kaleb, stepping a little further from Luna, expanding his arms.

“Babe! Come here! Luna’s walking!” He exclaims to you, excitement prevalent in his voice. “Come here Luna, walk towards appa!”

Luna giggles. Yes! Of course! This is the exact determination she needs! Her arms spread wide as she waddles towards the outstretched arms of her father.

As realization hits, you quickly turn off the stove and run towards the living room, Noah trailing behind you. Leo and Noah stand to the sides of Luna, both helping Kaleb steady her. You kneel beside Johnny, clapping and cheering on your daughter.

“You can do it, Luna! Go to appa!” you cheer. Luna giggles again, stumbling to the side. Leo catches her and helps her steady herself.

“Don’t worry, Luna! We’ll catch you if you fall! Keep going, you can make it to appa!” Leo says to his baby sister. She grunts in agreement. This has to be the one. She knows that she’ll get there eventually. But, Luna lives in the fast lane. What she’s doing right now is far too slow for her. And frankly, Luna knows that she will waste all her energy if she continues it at this pace. She knows there’s only one thing left that she can do.

With all of her remaining strength, she sets out to do what she sees her brothers do every single day. She suddenly moves her feet in a faster motion, using every last ounce of her strength to land in the comforting arms of her father. The boys are caught off guard, being left behind by the determined toddler. They quickly catch up to her, their hands ready, again, to catch her if she falls.

She clumsily runs (more like stumbles) towards her dad and right before she falls, her father reaches over and scoops her up, standing up and tossing her in the air.

“You did it Luna! You took your first steps!!” he cheers, tossing and catching her. You and the boys clap and cheer on the side, all so happy to witness this milestone.

Cheers are yelled from everyone in the house, everyone so proud of the youngest member in this household. Everyone is jumping with joy, all eyes on Luna. She giggles. Luna knows that soon, she’ll be running alongside her brothers, now able to keep up with them. Johnny brings her down and gives her head a million kisses. His heart is so full with happiness and joy.

Moments like these are what Johnny lives for, what makes him work harder with every new comeback and performance, because he knows that at the end, he’ll come home to this, his true happiness. This clumsy little joy that giggles oh so brightly in his arms makes everything that pains him worth it. Every late night, sore muscle, lost voice, everything.

His life may be loud and busy but he is sure as heck he wouldn’t trade it for anything. This clumsy joy that everyone in his life gives him is really what he pushes for.

He’s happy, he’s satisfied, and he can’t wait to see what comes next.

---

johnny would really be one of the sweetest dads :,)

i wanted to take a little break with the descriptions and have a scenario out there!

now since i have more kids described and stuff, i will start to write more scenarios! the second i have a complete group, i’ll write a scenario with that completed generation :)

oh and i’ll also make a list with all of the kids with their bdays (i honestly just chose random dates lol) and which generation they belong in as well as a chart with who their best friends are!

last thing! requests are open! you can request anything and everything under the sun; it doesn’t have to be related to nct with their families (but i’m totally down to write more scenarios about this) and i’m don’t mind tagging people if you want to stay updated every time i add to this growing series!

i hope you guys liked it! let me know what you thought or if you wanna just come by and chat, i’d love to make new friends!

- amy <3

209 notes · View notes

patheticwithanem · 3 years

Text

2020 in Retrospect

Hey friend,

I know it’s late, but I HAVE TO DO THIS. I kind of promised myself I’m writing about the year that was. I’m not exactly sure why; maybe it’s to put things in perspective going in to 2021? And today’s my fourth year anniversary with my employer, so I guess it’s perfect timing? (More on that later)

So I was going through my notes (I have this habit of writing down what happens on a daily basis - be it activities, emotions, drama, name it) and one thing’s for sure. 2020 SUCKED. It did. But I’m committing to this no matter what!

First things first: lots of profanities along the way. Well actually, I was about halfway writing the letter when fucking Tumblr decided to refresh and delete what I’ve been writing for about one fucking hour now. So I have to fucking do it all over again. If this is the Lord telling me to stop being sentimental about 2020, fret not my Lord! I’m one stubborn son of a bitch, so I’m carrying on.

Here’s how the rest of the year unfolded. 2020. Let’s go.

JANUARY. Reunions?

January 1. Had a get-together with a few relatives in Malabon. It was fun! I used to be so allergic to family reunions but I guess age creeping in changes you? You value people even more now? This was also the last time we’re able to spend some time with my uncle from Singapore. He brought his family to spend the holidays here. He’s a sweetheart and a great father who’s missed.

January 9. I attended a college dormmate’s wedding. I remember contemplating whether to go or not only to realize I’m actually lucky to be even invited given the fact that I chose to be distant for them for a long while. I also told myself that not showing up is so far from what I’m trying to be. Although I wasn’t there for the whole thing, I’m glad I did come. I was able to bond with my roommates once again whom I treated like brothers ten years ago and that was nice. A not-so-close dormmate even introduced me to his boyfriend and that’s huuuuge. The bride was beautiful too, and I’m glad she’s in the best place right now after all she’s been through. She’s a strong one, that girl.

January 11. Got invited to a birthday pool party of a colleague at work. I have to say I’m actually quite surprised I was invited to this. She’s always had my back though and always kind of looked after me, so I had to go. It was fun but I didn’t get drunk AT ALL.

January 12. AND THIS IS WHERE SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. The Taal Volcano erupted. It was awful especially for everyone living near the area because everything was covered with ash. It was also a day before my brother’s birthday and we thought the ashfall would be worse the next day so we decided to celebrate earlier.

January 19. Went to a fiesta. Did not expect to survive that at all. It was a different kind of neighborhood, but the people were nice.

January 25. Went to a public market with co-workers to buy clothes, eat chicken wings for dinner and then our regular fix of karaoke. Good times.

Anything else? I was able to book a birthday trip to Yogyakarta, which I eventually canceled because of youknowwhat. Tragic.

February. Blindside!

February 7. Blindside’s a bitch. Yes, that’s what I had written on my notes. I legitimately felt blindsided. So story: I have a friend who I found out was pregnant (let’s call her Ms. Preggy, sorry) and me and her bestfriend (let’s call him Work Son because he was my work son in a lot of ways) decided to hold an intervention for her. The four of us including a friend I’m going to call The-Now-Bestie (kind of a spoiler) whom I had a misunderstanding and was not in speaking terms with will be coming to Work Son’s place. Essentially, the goal was to make Ms. Preggy open up about her pregnancy and her issues with the douchebag father; make her feel that she has us and she doesn’t need to be alone in this. I think it went well, in that regard. However, the whole thing was awkward in epic proportions. It’s as if me and The-Now-Bestie didn’t want to acknowledge each other’s existence, and when we didn’t have a choice, we were sarcastic to each other. I also really felt like an outsider among the four that time; like I wasn’t supposed to be there and wasn’t really contributing to anything. It was a really lonely feeling. I decided to distance myself to them after that.

February 13. WINNERS AT WAR PREMIERE! Words can’t even express how excited I was to see some of my heroes again on screen! Parvati with that “phoenix rising from the ashes” confessional? Damn, girl! Still a fucking legend! It was also nostalgic Yul working his godfather magic once again. I’ve always seen him as a top-tier winner and someone I looked up to for what he represented to the Asian community and the history of Survivor. It was also nice seeing Kim, Tyson, Tony, Sophie, Natalie and Sandra. But I must say I kind of missed Todd. He was my favorite winner and was a great storyteller, a great strategist and a great character with an amazing comeback story. He would’ve been perfect for a season with this caliber of players. And as much as I hate Jeff Probst for shoving him down our throats, I wanted to see Cochran play with these winners! Caramoan’s my first season (a late superfan, yes) and he’s the very reason I got so hooked with the show. I used to think it’s a game where people like me never win. So to see someone like Cochran who’s awkward in every sense of the word (and owning it) win Survivor, it is very inspiring. I like speaking in metaphors and it’s funny how much metaphorical Survivor can be to how I see life now. I see Cochran and if he can win in Survivor, I feel like I can win in life, as silly as that sounds. Cochran sucked his first season, but he then went on to play this dominant game his second try while still managing to be the adorkable underdog that he is. I love that story. Man, I get so worked up when I talk about Survivor! I wish I had that same passion with anything else.

February 19. Mom slipped and had to be rushed to the nearest ER. Good thing there were no fractures and she was fine. I guess we can thank the fats for that? LOL

February 21 ‘til 23. WEEKEND STAYCATION! I needed this! Drinking at the hotel taproom with a live band? YES! Indian for lunch and surf-and-turf buffet for dinner? YES YES YES! That lamb chops, MY LORD. Thank you.

February 29. Leap Day. I started journaling again.

March. FUCKING COVID.

March 16. The Start of the Lockdown we all come to love now (punk, sarcasm).

March 17. Politics is so taboo to discuss especially over dinner. But then BAM. I had a major fight with my dad (and by major, I mean MAJOR in a get-out-of-the-house-in-the-middle-of-the-pandemic kind of major). It was basically about a comment he made that’s so misogynistic (towards the Vice President) that I just knew I can’t just let go. It was sooo bad I got all pissed, and when I’m pissed, I can get scary. Maybe it’s the voice or the eyes or both, but the fight got really heated on the verge of getting physical. Which now that I think about it is stupid just because of fucking different political views. Well, I can never get behind the President and they’re huge fans of him and I’ve come to terms with that but it’s just... bleh. I’m not even gonna try to rationalize it because I can’t. It’s just.. disgusting. Oh fucking well.

April. Wander-fucking-lust.

April 1. I started a 30-day Financial Detox which basically meant no unnecessary expenses. No online shopping, no paying for leisure. None. It was April Fools, but I was dead-set on saving! (Spoiler alert: I failed.)

April 6. Meltdown. I just really couldn’t hold it in anymore.

April 11. Dad’s birthday. After not talking for over a month (which is no easy feat in a tiny condominium unit), we acknowledged each other’s presence. By April 15, it’s like nothing happened anymore. He even gave me a home haircut (which for a beginner, is pretty good). On other news, I started watching The Politician on Netflix and t’was the day I started obsessing on Ben Platt and his music.

April 16. A year ago, I was enjoying sidewalk pho and almost making friends at Cu Chi Tunnels and the Saigon Skydeck of the Bitexco Financial Tower in Ho Chi Minh. Damn, covid.

April 18. That crazy border-crossing from Saigon to Phnom Penh a year ago. That was fulfilling. Damn, covid.

April 19. A year ago, I was experiencing sunrise at Angkor Wat. Wander-fucking-lust UGH.

April 30. That Town Hall shoutout from our company’s President because of reaching my quota from last month. That really felt good. As much as I hate to admit it, I like being validated from time to time. It definitely meant a lot especially coming from her who took a chance on me. I was patting my back.

MAY. Endure. Let Go.

May 14. KING TONY WON. Very well-deserved win. A disappointment of a season if you ask me, but props to the king for dominating an all-winners season. Respect for that. Also Natalie and Michele played great games as well and they should be very proud of themselves. I feel like a proud father to these winners HAHAHA!

May 16. Was pleasantly surprised with Dead to Me. That car scene between Jen and Judy on that ninth episode from the second season? Damn. That’s one of the few moments I teared up because of a TV show. That was powerful. All that tension building up and then that sudden release? I really felt that.

May 26. Why do I always feel all this fucking rage inside of me? I try to think of any triggers but I can’t seem to find one that’s actually reasonable. It’s like the isolation getting the best of me. I initially thought quarantine’s going to be a cakewalk for an introvert like myself, but it wasn’t the case. I feel like I’m losing my shit because I was stripped off of the usual things I have access to whenever I feel uneasy and anxious and angry like this. Endure, let go, I know. But it’s so much easier said than done, right?

JUNE. Breathe.

June 12. So the plan to sell the condo and find a new place is real. We went to this great place in Valenzuela and it was a great house and all but I felt weird. Maybe I was having trouble letting go? Maybe it’s just me being averse to change yet again?

June 15. Slept 6am for that How To Get Away With Murder series finale. That speech. VIOLA. Chills all over my body.

June 18. New phone was delivered. That was fast.

June 27. First time visiting the village we moved to. We were checking a different house this time and was already picturing us living there. Still felt weird, but maybe less.

Looking at it now, I realize almost nothing happened in this stretch of months. Pathetic.

JULY. Change (that’s not necessarily good lol)

July 3. The Anti-Terrorism Bill signed. FUCK THE CIRCUS THAT IS THE PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT.

July 10. Doomsday. The ABS-CBN renewal disapproved. FUCK THE CIRCUS THAT IS THE PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT. Also, that first house we checked was bought this day. First heartbreak.

July 22. Decided to donate to one of my elementary teachers to help finance school supplies for his students in the province. That felt good.

July 24. folklore’s goooood. This is the Taylor Swift sound that I love. (I had to write that down because that was a 2020 highlight to be honest)

AUGUST. Getting older. Again.

August 2. Donated to another cause: to help a really close friend’s mom (who’s a school principal) on financing their students’ lesson modules (they needed more paper so the donation was going to be used to buy more paper). That felt good.

August 3. Started obsessing on Dear Evan Hansen. I mean come on. HOW COME I ONLY KNEW OF THIS NOW?!?! The story, the acting, the soundtrack... it felt like I asked the Lord for a musical for me and he gave this on a silver platter.

August 9. Lasagna, baked sushi, lechon belly, pansit, cake. Weird combination, I know, but that’s me!

August 11. Discovered the Slowly app. Changed my life since then! I’m not even exaggerating. I guess it has to do with feeling extremely lonely amid the pandemic and getting this platform where you can talk to literally anyone while still keeping your anonymity. And it strips you off of instant gratification you’re so used to because you actually have to wait for your letters to be sent and to arrive. A great exercise for patience if you ask me! And since you have to wait, you make your letters longer and more worthwhile. It’s a platform free of judgment which relies heavily on building actual mental and emotional connections. It’s a gift, truly. NOT EXAGGERATING; YES I’M THAT LONELY.

August 23. The house search continued. This time, the South!

August 24. It was my first time watching a Korean drama and I gotta say I get the hype now. Korea makes great stories and they take their time when telling these stories. The story centering about mental health was definitely what got me to try watching It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, but the show’s so much more than that. That was a great watch.

SEPTEMBER. Finally some light?

September 1. Second year anniversary. I still really miss her.

September 5. My cat’s 5th birthday! Of course we had to celebrate for her with baked macaroni and burnt cheesecake.

September 11. Lost uncle. He gave a good fight.

September 19. SENSE8. It’s a show that doesn’t need any explaining. It’s the BEST. I love this cast SO MUCH. I remember thinking if I ever get a tattoo (which is unlikely), I’ll maybe have the title of that Sense8 series finale inked on me. AMOR VINCIT OMNIA. Love conquers all.

September 27. After a series of unfortunate events, we were led to this house on the same village we keep going back to, and the moment we saw it, we were sold. This is going to be our house. And it happened.

OCTOBER. Surprises?

October 6. Hooked up with someone I probably shouldn’t.

October 12. Booked a trip for next year because I’M HOPEFUL AS FUCK.

October 21. Had the best conversation I had in a long time.

October 22. Hooked up with someone I probably shouldn’t.

October 28. Organized a digital event for work. I’m still on the fence whether I’m proud of it or not. It was my first event, and I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. While I enjoyed all the preparation that came with it, from making that tactical marketing plan to coordinating with the organizers and my team, I felt like it was bland. There were lapses here and there and I know that we all tried the best we could, but maybe I just pictured it a little better in my mind? It wasn’t a flawless event and maybe I wanted it to be flawless. But it was fun. I never would’ve imagined me hosting an event, but I did.

NOVEMBER. Decisions.

November 14. So news came and we’re finally moving. The buyer of the condo got approved and it was only a matter of weeks to settle documents and payment and we’re good to go. I had mixed feelings about it. It took me back to that time we started looking for houses. I wasn’t exactly ready to let go of the place I grew with for the past five years. And I wasn’t also ready to let go of the convenience, and the relationships I only have started building with friends I found along the way. But at that moment I knew I had to be happy because they were happy. My family was happy. I knew I have to be happy.

November 21. Started all the packing. Packing meant decluttering and reminiscing, so letting go of more things which was overwhelming at first, but inevitable.

November 23. I had something checked in the hospital, and something happened and it wasn’t supposed to go that way but it did and it was so fucking bizarre lol

November 28. HAPPY MOVING DAY. It’s that day of the year. Stress was off the charts because of the time constraint and frankly, the lack of preparedness. Good thing a few people helped us with the rest of the packing. It was an impossible task for me and my sister alone so we were glad we got all the help we needed. I did most of the heavy lifting, so I had bruises all over my body for weeks, but after all was said and done, it felt surreal. Felt like everything coming full circle. That first night in the new home? I’ll never forget that. That was special.

December. The end of an era.

December 2. I went back to the condo to stay for a few more days. Get to feel the place one last time. Also lost a huge deal at work to a competitor. I usually really get depressed with these losses, but for some reason I felt indifferent about it. I guess it was my mind telling me I’ve mentally checked out of work already? That maybe it is really time to move on to something that’ll make me care about what I do again? Make me feel again?

December 4. Met someone (who we can call the Professor) I’ve been talking to for a while now. We’ve had some really great conversations leading to this night; talks at 3AM that’s kind of liberating? I was upfront about the moving and that I only have a few days left in the place which is probably why it happened. Professor was also upfront about leaving the country in a few months for an opportunity to work and do research in Japan for five fucking years. It was awkward at first; but we eventually warmed up to each other and spent the night together.

December 5. Things escalated pretty quickly. The Professor gave me a shower (that was weird but I was feeling it and I thought it was sweet and sexy?). We cuddled until we slept and there was breakfast prepared when I woke up. I don’t usually get to experience this kind of stuff so I really appreciated that. I was feeling it. I thought I can get used to this! I left the place and was invited back again so I stayed over for another night. We’ve had a few more interesting conversations. I was not expecting some of the things we discussed especially the talk about long-distance relationships. The Professor asked me what I think about it and I was honest; I’m not against it but it’s not something I’ll take a chance on if I wasn’t sure about it. Mantra’s always been connection first before commitment. I’m not the “take a leap of faith” kind-of guy; I needed to be sure. Or at the very least be really mentally and emotionally connected with the person. I thought that made perfect sense. I still do.

December 6. So it was finally goodbye. Me and my sister went to the nearest church to donate a few clothes and shoes and to attend a mass. Bid farewell to the Professor too and promised each other to keep in touch. I also had an awkward encounter with my sister’s “friend” who she sneaked in the condo for God knows what for. Pretty sure they did the nasty.

December 13. We went to our old house (the one I spent my younger years in) to get a few stuff for the new house. I only really wanted to get my old bicycle because I want to be biking regularly for the next year. I want to take that fitness journey seriously! So I got the bike and I got to spend some time with some childhood friends. Good stuff.

December 15. A teammate resigned at work. The funny thing is he did it after getting that 13th month bonus HAHAHA! I can’t blame him though after learning about the salary he gets when he’s performing three functions in the team. That’s insane. But it really made me wonder: am I still in this for the long haul? Or do I move on too?

December 17. So I had my work desk and wardrobe delivered. Felt so nice buying things for my room!

December 19. We got a new dog! Another French Bulldog. He’s pretty sweet. Someone’s not happy! (MY MOM)

December 22. And then this happened. We were supposed to meet after my dentist appointment (which I only used as an excuse to meet and I thought that was obvious) but the Professor never showed up. I waited for FIVE FREAKIN HOURS. I had like clothes with me because we agreed I sleepover but FUCK. Good thing a friend kept me company, but that was horrible. I thought YOU NEVER DO THAT TO ANYONE. I deserve better.

December 24. We had our house blessed. It was all super spontaneous; we invited a few friends and relatives over and had an intimate gathering. Mom got emotional (AGAIN).

December 27. So Ms. Preggy (from February - oooh that rhymed) had her son baptized. Since she lives a little father from the city, we decided to have a little staycation with some friends there too. The-Now-Bestie and Work Son was there, and we had beer and homecooked food and a slew of great conversations to cap off the year.

Also December 27. I knew I needed to get something off my chest. And I just had to say it.

“You’re so unfair. You shouldn’t have done that. Gave me false hopes. Gave me a “3-day trial period” only to disappear without any warning. Made promises you never intended to keep. You could’ve just told me you’re not interested anymore and I would’ve been fine with that but instead, you ghosted me. For the past few weeks since that weekend, it never seemed like you wanted to get to know me better. Or even just keep the communication going. It’s been one-sided and I wonder: has it always been this way? Maybe I’m remembering things differently. I told you I like you and I meant that. I’m still wrapping around my head why and how it happened to be honest. Maybe it’s that weekend? Maybe it’s the conversations leading up to when we first met? I don’t know. But things changed after that and I should ask you for an explanation but it’s really not the point. The point is I thought we can work something out and you hurt me. You may feel like you’re running out of time because of Japan but it’s no excuse to do that to anyone, really. You seem so sure about what you want so I hope you get whatever that is. Merry Christmas. Thanks for the memories.”

That was intense.

December 28. The Professor responded. “I apologize... I am getting attached... I had to “ponder on its implications to me in the long run”... I decided to slow down... It hurts... “That weekend that we met felt like I knew you before”... I am afraid... “You have no idea how hard it is to leave everything behind every 4-5 fucking years not because I wanted it but because I have to”... I still hope to continue whatever we have... “I will always remember you. Please don’t forget about me.”... YADA YADA YADA.

I know. You know me. I try to empathize as much as possible. But I mean, come on. These are things I already know. It’s not what I needed to hear.

December 31. I needed to say something one last time. There’s already a lot of uncertainties in the world with COVID and life and everything else. I knew I needed answers; I want the binary. I want the black or white for this one. I’m not taking the gray with me next year. So I asked the following questions:

“What do you want from me? Do you want to be friends? Or we stick with occasional catching up on Viber every once in a while (because that’s what it sounds like to me)?”

“What do you want to get from your last two months here? What are you looking for? Just make the most “fun’? Or look for something that will stick?”

“Have you told me anything you really didn’t mean?”

“That one time we talked about long-distance, were you asking me?”

Fast forward to now: I never got the answer I needed. I guess this is one of those rare occasions where no answer is the answer. And after a few weeks of contemplating about it, I am leaving it behind in 2020.

I’m actually at peace with that.

So there you have it. The suck-fest that is 2020. The first month of the new year wasn’t so bad. I feel this great energy. This year’s going to be different. I did tell you that this letter’s perfect timing. That’s because I’ve resigned and I’m moving on. A friend told me a while ago that he’s proud of me for finally taking action. The 2018 version of myself wouldn’t have done what I did and he was happy for me. I wanted a clean slate and I took it. That I was finally taking ownership of my life.

I was elated. My friend usually spoils me with compliments and encouragement and my ever reliable negative self-image tend to disagree with him but for the first time in a very long time, it felt right. I’m not usually excited for New Years, but I guess I am?

I say bring it on, 2021.

Until then,

Patheticwithanem

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