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#i'm also thinking lots abt dread
fernisworm · 1 year
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soooo many thoughts abt prime shadow 
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01tsubomi · 4 months
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hi!! if you dont mind me asking, how did you manage to end up teaching in japan?? ive been researching but info online is so extense and overwhelming and i never have good answers....
hello!! first of all i wanna say i understand the stress - i applied to j/et first and was going to work on backups like int/erac and private hiring if that didn't work out and i'm always thankful that i didn't have to. honestly now that i'm here it feels funny that i stressed out so much during the application process bc i always find myself thinking "damn they'll let anyone in" (often about myself lmao). it can be really odd and unexplainable who j/et does and doesn't take but japan needs a lot of ALTs to keep the system going so if you've got the enthusiasm for it there's definitely a place for you!!
i would definitely recommend trying for j/et and int/erac first before worrying about the other options!! since j/et has the biggest reputation ofc there's the double-edged sword of it feeling the most prestigious and hard to get into but again they do hire a ton of candidates every year, plus it has the highest guaranteed pay and takes care of so much for you pre-departure. idk where you're at in life/when you'd plan on applying but if you wanna start the job as soon as possible, int/erac has pretty much a rolling application and their main recruiting cycle is for spring departures (while j/et won't start recruiting again til october, for departure in summer 2025). int/erac gives you a little less pay and a little less initial help, but it's still very reputable. int/erac ALTs also have a few more freedoms once you're in japan bc i believe int/erac has your school hire you directly intead of employing you to your city's board of education. so for example my BoO doesn't let ALTs commute by car, but int/erac ALTs and private hires don't have that restriction. knock on wood, if neither of those work out, there are lots of sites like gaijinpot posting private hire opportunities. i don't know about the competitiveness of those and they do often require you to sort out visa application or housing on your own, but opportunity is always out there! seriously though i wouldn't worry about that at first. that's the backup plan ace up your sleeve
in terms of what you can do to raise your chances of getting hired, again, i think the enthusiasm is the key!! people say the j/et interview is a glorified vibe check bc they've been known to reject people who sometimes seem overqualified for the position (maybe for good reason - the amount of responsibility you get and teaching you get to do is suuuuper variable and dependent on your school, and probably about ~1/3 of my work days every year i have no classes and little relevant work to do, if any). i don't have a background or certification in teaching but i did a lot of tutoring in college and minored in japanese so i had a lot to say about my passion for language education. i know j/et really loves the angle of "what will you get out of the position, and what will you give back" - i can tell you're excited about the idea of teaching in japan so i'm sure you already have your answers!! if you have hobbies related to japan it's good to explain how being in japan would help you continue them. or you can always research what you could do with your non-japan related hobbies in japan! i love cooking and i started taking classes at a chain studio that does a mix of japanese and worldwide cooking. again i know the hit-or-miss element of it is scary but really they just want friendly open-minded people who can share their culture, have enthusiasm about education and exchange, don't mind the hours/job restrictions, and are down to pack their bags and live in japan. if you have any other questions please ask!! i know this is random but i've helped a couple of friends with their applications so if you do want some extra eyes on a statement of purpose my inbox is always open!! cheering for you!! 🎉🎉
#seriously i got. so so stressed out during the whole application process. and nothing any of my friends could say abt how i#seemed perfectly qualified could help#i really do understand the position you're in#but seriously the job is so much lower stakes than i thought intiially and a lot of the reason i say that is because of how little#responsibility i get#i love my school and my teachers are really receptive to my ideas#but basically once you're here all the meaning's gotta come from you#the dreaded Every Situation Is Different applies ofc#but at my school i don't get directly asked for activities much and get told i don't have to come to class pretty often#so if i'm not taking the initiative and making stuff myself or going to talk to the students myself it can be very easy to just coast#which i think a lot of people do. which i can't blame anyone for because 1) i know people who are physically in the classroom less than#8 hours a week#disregarding if they're given an active role in those lessons or if they're just asked to read vocab#and 2) i also don't use all of my downtime on work-related tasks and i honestly find it hard to imagine how i could#i'm just getting into my thoughts about my job now which is something i could talk about for hours and hours#trust me i do really love being here and i actually like that i have to challenge myself to speak up and carve out my place#i'll cut myself off there because i have too many thoughts#but genuinely good luck!! you can do it!!#asks
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Currently battling with some psychological barriers regarding posting my art on here but just know that the piece I'm working on currently is a banger and I am excited to share it w you guys
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irishmammonagenda · 2 months
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hiiii ! ^_^ I love your writing sm
I was listening to music just relax, and randomly I thought of MC with "You're loosing me" AND I HAD TO SHARE IT WITH SOMEONE. Especially from minute 3:00 to the end 😭😭😭😭 imagine a fic inspired in that song with a traumatized mc after their death 🥲
hiya!! i'm so glad 🫶🫶🫶🫶 tbh i dont really listen to taylor so i had to look up this one, but oml it kinda does fit MC sm???!!!
honestly tysm for the ask, i don't normally write seriousish fics so this was a fun change grma <3
ALSO IM SO SORRY THE TITLES SO CRINGE I COULDNT THINK OF A GOOD ONE
Surface Tension- Obey Me x Reader
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Summary: MC died 😱 and reincarnated as a demon, only their death affected them more than they thought. Word Count: 2.8k+ Warnings: Mentions of Death, leans more into Lucifer x Reader, especially at the end. (i am so sorry abt that I had no idea where this fic was going myself tbh) Descriptions of drowning. Hurt/Comfort? I have no idea how to write trauma I am so sorry, (this isn't apart of my 'Death is a Debatable thing Au) dividers are a mixmatch of ones by @plum98 @isisjupiter and @cafekitsune bc im indecisive
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The thing you missed most were your pact marks. Intricate designs etched into your skin, that shone the colours of the people you loved, a reminder you were someone. You had something. A security blanket of sorts. Now they were gone, clear glass sin, almost poreless, uncanny replaced the lines and marks and humans´ perfect imperfection that provided a canvas for the hues that you were sure had painted your heart.
It hurt.
You fiddle with your hands, trying to contain the urge to just...pop. The horns and the tail had been disorienting to get used to. You still preferred your 'human' form, the only issue was controlling it. It would come with time, or so everyone had told you.
They told you a lot of things would come with time. You weren't so hopeful.
"I....it's just-" you flick your gaze around the room, looking anywhere but the demon in there with you. "...the dying part..."
"The dyin' part..." Mammon sits by your side, ever your first man, his eyes gaze at you, so loving, so adoring, it hurts your heart. "I don't understand the dyin' MC....I couldn't never understand the dyin'...." He brings a hand to rest on yours hesitantly, his false bravado nowhere to be found.
"I know you don't Mams..." You meet his gaze, his eyes as blue as the sky on a summer's day, warmer than the sun, and softer than silk when he looks into yours.
"It doesn' mean I won't try te....understand...I mean." He clears is throat awkwardly. "There's nothin' I wouldn't do for ye...not now not ever."
Your heart feels heavy.
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Rushing water beats against porcelain. Steam slowly rose in swirls as the bathtub filled up. You fold your towels and set them by the sink beside the clothes you had set out. Pulling the satin robe that was a gift from a certain Asmodeus, you placed it on one of the hooks on the door, before twisting the taps to a stop. You submerged yourself into the warm water, your tense muscles relaxing as you leaned backwards in the tub from where you were sitting, legs touching the bottom of the porcelain. 
It had been so long. 
So long since you were able to just relax like this. You loved the brothers and the others, but sometimes you needed the solitude of your own thoughts. That wasn’t to say Asmo’s self care nights weren’t relaxing. 
You sighed. 
The water enveloped you, you had leaned back enough to where your head had begun to submerge. All was well. The water was warm, your muscles slowly relaxed, along with the rest of your body. Your eyes slowly blinked closed. 
All was fine. Your relaxed muscles let your head fall back. All was well. Your ears were now submerged. All was fine. 
Except it wasn’t. A switch had flicked. Your eyes shot wide open. You could no longer feel the bottom of the porcelain bathtub, panic and dread tugged at your arteries, squeezing your jugular. You flailed and thrashed your limbs, your head dipped under for a millisecond. 
Clear water turned murky. 
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Your arms burnt after another weak attempt, head breaking the stormy surface of the lough for a moment; only a moment. Hardly long enough to draw a breath. Your eyes stung. Your throat ached, desperation choked at your airways. 
You found yourself submerged again. The currents slammed into rocks. Your hair rose upwards, strands sticking to your face like some sort of seaweed, hindering your vision as the waves flung you against hard rock. Your hands clawed at the stone, too slippery to catch a grip. The stormy water slammed you against another rock. You broke the horrid surface of the water, gasping and spluttering. Your throat burned like sinners in the 7th circle of hell. You just barely gasped in a morsel of oxygen before being dragged under by the force of the waves. 
You were slammed mercilessly into another hard wall of stone, your attempts at clawing for a grip so desperate you drew blood at your fingertips. 
You had survived demons, witches, angels. You had survived hell. Yet earth would be the one to take you out, so it seemed. You couldn’t hold your breath any longer, your mouth opened. You inhaled desperately, lungs aching for air. Water filled them instead. 
You gasped and spluttered. The surface of the water too rough to do a dead man’s float without risking your life further. The waves smacked you against hard rock once more, eroding at your hopes for survival. 
This was it. 
You were going to die. You’re drowning. You’ve drowned. 
The last thing you felt before you succumbed to the wild waves was the dull glow of your pact marks. With the last of your strength, you let out a silent scream, submerged by the water. 
You screamed. Frenzied hands pull your sobbing form out of the clear water of the bath pulling your soaked, sobbing form to their chest. You gasp for air, lungs burning. 
“MC! Y-you’re fine! Don’t worry…you’re okay…you’re okay…!” An uncharacteristically frenzied Beel holds you to his chest, massive arms enveloping you, he cards a gentle hand through your hair as you sob and upheave, your chest tight and your breath running from you. “You’re okay MC….follow my breathing…”
Hardly hearing him, you comply either way. Matching the breaths of the sixth born, your heart rate begins to slow, your breathing begins to even. Eventually, you sit wrapped in the arms of the Avatar of Gluttony, breathing deeply and slowly, your heart rate slowed, your sobs quitened to the occasional sniffle, the tightness in your chest remains. 
You chuckle humourlessly. “I’m sorry Beel….got your clothes all wet.” 
Beel shakes his head seriously, eyes on yours. “It’s never a problem. Not if it’s you MC.” He stands up with you still in his arms. Carefully, the redhead sets you down on your two feet. Strong hands on either side of you, a stabliser. “C’mon…let’s get you dressed MC…can you stand?”
Slowly you nod.
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That night you found yourself in the living room, Belphie asleep, head on your shoulder. Mammon splayed across your lap, Asmo’s arm around your waist, Beel was on the other side of his twin, but held your hand, rubbing soothing circles subconsciously into your palm. Levi sat on the ground, switch in hand, cheek leaning against your thigh.  Satan and Lucifer sat on the nearest armchairs though they sat facing opposite each other, Lucifer half reading official documents, half watching the show his brothers and little human demon were watching, Satan doing the exact same, except his reading material was a book. 
You weren't sure how or if they knew what had happened an hour prior, but you were sure they knew this would cheer you up in some capacity.
You squeezed Beel’s hand, the knot in your chest coming undone just enough you feel light.
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The transition from Human to Demon was a hard one to get used to, one thing that hadn't changed however; were the balls hosted by Lord Diavolo. The only difference being that now you sported curved horns on the top of your head. You quickly found that Asmo liked to decorate them with little trinkets.
Which he had done today, as well as helping you pick out your outfit for the ball. You gave a twirl in one of his full length mirrors.
"Thanks Asmo I love it." You smile, messing with an ornament on your horn. Those are taking a while to get used to.
Asmodeus laughs gleefully, waving his hand. "It was nothing darling. I'd love to do it again! Oh...~ You look so gorgeous...." He says dreamily before he turns back to his makeup, carefully lining his lips in a dark pink.
You blush at the praise before leaving the room, not wanting to risk being (fashionably) late.
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"MC!" Lord Diavolo greets cheerfully, pulling you in for a hug against his bare, tanned chest. The gold in his eyes and horns glow like fire in the light of the ballroom. "I'm so glad you could make it! You look stunning!" He laughs, strong arms wrapping tighter around you.
You smile, "I'm glad to be here, Dia."
"I'm glad..." He says softer now. If the both of your words were an innuendo, neither of you pointed it out.
Barbatos appears silently at the left hand side of the Demon Prince, shaking your hand, you give him a sweet smile.
You barely get to greet him before the Demon Butler swiftly makes his way across the ballroom, and out of the glazed, oak door that led to a short corridor and then led to the kitchens.
After more peasant conversation with Diavolo, another Demon Noble had arrived, the scarlet haired prince pouted at the thought of leaving you before waving and making his way towards one of Hell's Aristocrats.
You wave him goodbye, you scan the Ballroom, eyes locking with violet ones. The seventh born gives a small smirk, lazily making his way toward you.
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Belphegor had seen your dreams. He had felt the water pool into your lungs, the air escaping your grasp, the harsh bruising of the rocks you were slammed into.
He saw every dream, tried to stop them from reaching you. Sometimes he failed, your mind wanted to return to that moment. To pick it apart, to relive what it didn't understand itself, to find an impossible answer.
Sometimes your mind, your wonderful, horribly beautiful mind; would be too adamant, would loop back to it.
He didn't protect you. Not when he first betrayed you, not when he crushed your bones in his grip.
He couldn't protect you. Not when you were flung from rock to rock, sharp edges digging into fragile skin. Not when water burnt through your throat like fire.
He couldn't protect you. Not when your dreams bypassed his control. Not when the thin threads of your trauma induced nightmares slipped through the cracks.
The Avatar of Sloth could only do so much, yet, it never felt like enough. He couldn't protect you.
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"Hey Belph!" You grin, closing the distance between the two of you. "You seem distracted, whats up?"
Belphegor snaps out of it, lips upturning. "Oh nothing, I just thought of something for the Anti-Lucifer League....What about you, MC, enjoying yourself?"
"For the most part yeah! But I haven't seen Mammon anywhere...." You say thoughtfully before deadpanning. "He's going to be strung up upside down by tomorrow morning, isn't he?"
"Yep."
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Hours passed, a sleeping Belphegor had been handed over to Beelzebub, who was currently carrying his twin home. You were tempted to ask to join, but decided against it.
You weren't made of glass, you had agency. You could handle a silly ball.
Standing in one of the corners, beverage in hand, you'd elected to just people watch for a while.
Levi sat semi-hidden by a curtain at the grand window, switch in hand, noise cancelling headphones in, no doubt reaching the end of his social battery.
Satan stood at the other side of the Grand Hall, talking with contacts and connections you couldn't recognise. Golden blond hair perfectly in place. Asmo must've fixed it up for him.
Speaking of Asmo, he was on the dance floor with various succubi, giggling, smiling, and just in general being a social butterfly.
Mammon however, was still no where to be seen. Probably looking for treasure. Classic Mams. You smile to yourself.
Lucifer stood, being entertained by admirorers of all shapes and sizes. You stiffened.
Sometimes you forgot the brothers were Hell's Most Eligible Bachelors. It was easy to forget, seeing as you lived with them, and they were all idiots.
You could feel Levi's worried eyes on you none the less. Your stomach twisted with his sin, orange as a yolk, what came first? the chicken or the egg? You didn’t know nor did you care. Why would Lucifer choose you anyway? A weak human demon who couldn’t even survive a…-
You gripped your drink tightly, knuckles lightening. You took a sip, but with your tense muscles, the liquid burnt its way down the wrong side of your throat.
You spluttered.
Even the droplet. Even the sip. It grew, multiplied even, filling your lungs like goop, you gasped for air. The ballroom flooded a murky green. Stumbling, you pushed through the oak door to the hallway, where it was quieter.
Your heart beat out of your chest, your breathing was laboured, leaning against the wall, you lost your boyancy, dripping down until you sat on the ground, knees to your chest.
You stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath, engaging your senses.
Three things you could hear;
Idle chatter from the ballroom, completely muffled by the heavy wooden door and stone walls. Your own laboured breathing, although it was catching up to you. The blood rushing in your ears, evaporating from a rapid raging river to a small sparkling stream.
Three things you could see;
The stone wall, dark liath limestone blocks and bricks melded together, midievil in their design, they reflected the light of the overheard torches in a subtle, orange glow. The glazed panes of a glass window, the moon shone bright tonight, as it always did in the Devildom. You liked to think it was watching over you. Maybe it was.
If you turnt your head to the left, an archway was visible, a simple one. It dug into the stone wall and ceiling, pushing against the internal structures, standing out whilst holding together.
You continued your listing, smell and taste were ruled out, on account of you not being able to taste, and there not being any real noticable smells.
Three things you could feel;
The fabric of the clothes Asmo chose for you streched on your skin, the seams digging into your thighs where you sat on the ground.
The stone floor, hard and cold, even with the layers you had on, you shivered ever so slightly.
And lastly, you could feel the phantom ache of pact marks long faded, your heart heart, though it had stopped beating out of your chest. You felt calmer, more in control, yet still;
You sniffled.
After all; you didn’t have the best track record for keeping your head above water.
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That’s how Lucifer found you. The door hissing open and his signature boots clacking softly along the ground announced his presence.
“MC, my love, are you alright?” He raises an eyebrow, The Avatar if Pride putting his aside and hunkering down so that he was more or less eye level with you, concern pooled in his expression. He reached a gloved hand out and caressed your cheek.
You nod, croaking out an "I'm okay now..."
"Are you sure, my darling?" The first born looks into your tired eyes, before tilting his head, asking for permission. You grant it.
He pulls you in for a hug.
"What upset you, dove?" He asks softly, rubbing soothing circles on your back.
"I-...I just feel like I've...like I've lost you all...and myself I guess...It sounds stupid! I know...but I just...-"
Lucifer hushes you, "Nothing you could say could ever sound stupid. He pauses. "Unless you're with Mammon...or planning something with Satan and Belphie."
That squeezes a giggle out of you. He smiles, tilting his head, a strand of raven hair falling ever so out of place at the movement, crimson eyes stare into yours.
"But that's not all, is it, dear?"
You mumble something unintelligible, but count on Lucifer Morningstar to hear it. "Have I told you yet? That you look absolutely gorgeous tonight, MC?" He asks in all seriousness. You avert your gaze.
He grabs your chin softly, "I'm serious, Darling. You're the best person at this ball, the best thing that has ever happened to my brothers...to me. Sometimes I feel you truly don't realise that...seems I must take care to remind you more often, my love."
You try to speak, but the air swallows up your words, your mouth open and gaping like a fish.
Lucifer's lips quirk up, he pulls you closer to his chest. You lean into him, giving a weak smile, ear pressed against his breast, listening to his heartbeat.
You felt calm; content even,
T he hug wasn't a fix it all. It wasn't some magic wand that had been waved, you weren't suddenly better. You were still traumatised, that emptiness, though dull, still ached in your heart, along with the places on your body the bright beautiful symbols of your pacts had been sketched onto your skin.
The hug was comforting none-the-less. Lucifer was impossibly gentle. He would cradle the ashes until you built yourself back up again in his arms, phoenixes need time to adjust before they can spread their wings, after all.
It would be hard. It would be so so difficult, so taxing, to rise from the ashes once more, to thrive again, but you had an army of idiots that loved you, who would go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile. It wasn't okay yet, you weren't 'fixed', you wouldn't be for a long time but you had years upon years, decades upon decades, centuries upon centuries.
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i physically cannot write anything overly angsty bc im a wee softie smh this took me ages i am so sorry abt that </3 also i had another ask that i started planning out halfway through writing this and the contrast in the tone i was going for is so funny🧍‍♂️
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bebzbrainw0rmz · 8 days
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Hello!! A question for you, not in a offensive light at all but I wanna ask why you like pavlevi so much and how come it doesn't make you uncomfortable with the age gap? We don't know pavs age which is fair enough but.. You get my point! I still love em tho. Maybe I'm a bit conflicted
I’m so sorry but you made a fatal mistake of giving me an opportunity to yap about them ( but thank you for being very nice abt the question, it means a lot :3 )
Slight rant under more… tried my hardest to keep it short but I have so much to say abt these fuckass losers 😔
For the reasons why I like Pavlevi so much. It’s because they are my two favourite characters, I need to psychoanalyse them and make them trauma bond or I’ll DIE.
Levi has the solitary soul, he’s been alone for most of his life. What he seriously needs is connection. And I think most of the cast just can’t fundamentally understand him. (I’m not sure if I’m being biased and self projecting here because of my experiences being autistic but yeah 😭) And I genuinely think most of that cast would look at Levi with pity. Almost as if he can’t think for himself. And I think Levi hates it. It’s really a hard feeling to pin down, but it feels weirdly dehumanising?? Like say Karin or smth would mean well but it still feels like you’re being hang up to dry? And I think Levi fucking hates it when everyone is looking at him like that. And the pity ppl have for him comes from a place of being so disconnected from him. Most of them can’t really understand him or what he’s gone through I suppose?? It’s not their faults, it’s just how it is. Society has literally thrown him to wolves. His government striped him of his autonomy, has used him for it’s benefit and now it’s people look at him like this couldn’t have been avoided, that it’s something so sad, to be pitied. Which is also why I love pavlevi bc Pav is the only person that Levi can truely connect with. Someone else who’s gone through the same bullshit, torn apart by the same world. They are both cut from the same stone, just at different stages and coping in different ways which I think is interesting. And it’s so sad because why the hell does it have to be some Bremen fuck that actually treats him like a person and not just something to pity.
As for Pav’s side of the coin. I just really like to torture him. Due to what he’s gone through and seen, being in the army around the same age as Levi, if not younger. I feel like he’d see Levi as being fit to make his own damn decisions. It’s none of Pav’s business, Levi can do whatever and he honestly does not give a shit. But as they get closer I feel like I think Levi brings out all the guilt and shame Pav bottled up and pushed far down in his psyche. Like… he’s had to kill so many just like Levi, all to even get a chance at killing Kaiser. All of it being a glorified elaborate destructive suicide mission. And he’s very fucked up about it. Dread sets in for Pav because??? He’s a terrible person??? He’s had to wear this mask for so long, he doesn’t even know who he really is. Levi is just troubled and has been put in one unfair situation after another. Pav couldn’t move forward and purposely put himself in those situations and did those fucked up things. I also think it’s interesting to think of them as like an intimacy of convenience. Bc they both know they have no future and might die at any second, but it’s better to hold someone’s hand than be alone when you die.
Other tidbits!!
They are fucking funny, like c’mon getting bossed around by the enemy, and a LIEUTENANT on top of that, is fucking hilarious
I feel like you got this from the rant b4 but the Angst potential is crazyyyyy
Pav teasing Levi and making him all flustered, HELLOO??? I love blushy levi
Pav traversing caring for someone else that isn’t himself bc he’s fundamentally a self serving person gggghhh
IFUCKING LOVE DOOMED RELATIONSHIPS RAHHHHHHHHHHH
The way their heavily different personalities clash would be fun
Having someone there who's gone through what you've suffered through is so comforting. you're not alone anymore….. IM SICK IN THE HEAD
I think Levi should be allowed to kiss boys as a treat
I also think he should be allowed to shoot Pav in the head as a treat
As for the age gap.. I don’t like it at all ofc. 😭😭 It’s definitely not ideal. And I can 100% understand how that can be a deal breaker….. but I also feel like people baby Levi too much? He has 1 breakdown because he just got back from war, is going through heroin withdrawals, everyone in his home town has been turned into violent monsters, he’s hearing voices and someone just tried to kill him and he gets labeled a wimp. You put a guy in the worst situation ever and he cries ONCE and ppl call him a crybaby and infantilise him 💀 He’s stronger than people give him credit for… but that’s more of a problem with fandom than anything.
Also like… I tried….. I really tried to not like pavlevi….. But I’m way too fucking autistic abt them. It’s so bad that when I see them I get an adrenaline rush and do laps around my kitchen. I’m so serious. These guys are like pseudo drugs to me, I need to chop my head off.
And ofc I wouldn’t support 18 and 30 smth irl, that’s fucking gross……… And I would say the same for a stalker and her victim.. because look, I love S4marina, but it’s basically in the same boat as Pavlevi to me..
This being a fandom that should primarily be adults, I feel like ppl should understand that. Yk, having better common sense and media literacy to understand this stuff ain’t okay irl. I still realise it’s not everyone’s thing and I’m not trying to convince ppl to like it, just explain why I like it (NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THEM LIKE I DO, I NEED TO DIE)…. Anyway uuhm I understand it makes some ppl uncomfy, which is valid! Just don’t go into spaces where you’ll be exposed to it ig??? If you seriously don’t like it, the block button/blocking tags is right there. I do that too !!
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ac3-76 · 25 days
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Cole Brookstone Headcannons
warnings: slight cussing? mentions of racial stereotypes/discrimination
General
He was the sexiest man alive 3 years in a row
He also dabbled in modeling
he didn't even try either, a modeling agent saw him and gave him a business card
Cole went to one interview, the next thing he knows he's walking down the runway with Bella Hadid
he's a thought son
does a lot of stuff on social platforms to spread awareness for racial discrimination, politics, and cancer reaserch
if they were to have BLM protests in Ninjago, he would throw tear gas back at cops
He has the BIGGEST resting bitch face ever
obviously he loves cake, but he loves brownies with caramel drizzle and a sprinkle of sea salt on top even more than he loves cake
he really loves Dolly Partons Carmel Turtle mix
He loves Dolly Parton in General
He only drinks water
He HATES those "make my water of the day with me" videos
like JUST DRINK WATER THROUGH OUT THE DAY!?! HELLO?!
Gossip/debrief sessions with Nya are a weekly occurrence
the reason Nya was so confused abt Jay vs Cole in season 3/4/5 is because of how close Nya and Cole already were
But after she stepped away from both of them and thought about her relationship with each of them, she realized Cole was like a sister to her
And I mean sister
She's never had a sister before but her relationship with Cole is exactly how she imagines sister relationships
Nya introduces him as her sister and he's chill with it
He works out with Kai
but unlike Kai, Cole LOVES rest days
he goes to yoga 3 or 4 times a week and is besties with his yoga instructor Andy
Andy and her girlfriend got married and he went to the wedding, that's how close they are
I feel like he's friends with a lot of lesbians
idk they just kinda gravitate towards him
Cole is 6'3
he's also black
he has snake bite piercings
his mom's favorite tree was a maple tree, so he got a maple leaf tattooed behind his right ear
his mom would always tuck his braids or dreads behind his right ear.
he also has a hand tattoo that looks something like this:
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I'm not saying Ninjago has a lot of racial stereotypes or discrimination
but, when they see 6'3, muscular, tatted, pierced, black. resting bitch face Cole walking down the street people tend to label him as scary or dangerous
because of this he's always afraid of coming off as creepy or weird when he tries to talk to someone
Dating
His body is so large, solid, and muscular and it's perfect for hugs and cuddling
He doesn't care about cuddling position- if you guys are comfortable and can fall asleep, its perfect
his favorite place to kiss is your forehead and your shoulders
his love language is acts of service
"my room is too bright in the morning, even with my blinds shut" the next day he has blackout curtains installed
"I always hit my head on that one cabinet" idk how but thanks to his handy work you no longer bump your head on that cabinet
"I wish my kitchen had sodalite counters" You have sodalite counters now(the good thing is, it was mostly free too, he just used his earth powers to find enough sodalite for your counter)
You guys met when the ninjas went out to a restaurant to celebrate whatever victory they had just had
and because he's used to being stereotyped as scary or weird for the way he looks, when you approached him to ask for his number he was shocked and supprised
he was happy about it tho because he had been glancing at you the whole time the team was at the restaurant
You're first date? Mini golfing.
He's been thinking about the perfect first date FOR. YEARS.
why is mini golfing the perfect first date?
Public setting for both parties feeling safe
mini golfing is fun and fairly inexpensive
mini golfing provides plenty of time to talk and chat, but if an awkward moment arises there's something to do
done golfing and now we're hungry?
cheap and decent food inside
done eating but don't want to end the date?
most mini golf places have arcades
AND most arcade games are meant for 2 people
want to take some cute photos?
Most arcades have photo booths for taking cute pics
Cole has been planing a mini golfing first date for years, and just needed someone with the right energy to do it with
Romcom type relationship
You guys meet in a cute romcomy way, have a cute romcomy first date, then you have some sort of romcomy problem, then work things out and live happily ever after
I feel like the romcomy problem wouldn't be very romcomy tho, maybe you guys met before he was a ghost, and him being a ghost was the problem you worked through?
he would keep 1 flower from every boquet he gives to you so he knows when the bouquet is dying, then he gets you fresh flowers
You always have fresh flowers from him, for the entirety of ur relationship
he's a thought son so you would stay up talking about what you guys want your future to look like
He's used to you waking him up in the middle of the night because he was snoring
He gives great advice, but before he gives it he asks if you want comfort or advice
he's also really good at comforting you
he just knows exactly how to make you feel safe and understood
you'd go to yoga with him, Andy and her girlfriend(now wife) would love you
if you guys did want kids, Cole would be the perfect dad
Physical touch is his 2nd love language, but he doesn't rlly like PDA
most touches in public are pinky or hand holding(he would do the thumb thing), putting his hand on the small of your back when going through crowds, maybe a peck on the temple here and there
but in private he can't get his hands off you
he just wants to touch you in any and every way possible
he's infatuated by you
he sends you tiktoks of an orange cat(him) and some other cat(color/type depending on ur personality) and says us
he sends you couple trends and says "we should do this"
"if I every won the lottery, oh wait, I already did" yeah. he did that, first 2 slides were him, and the other 30 were pics of you
"oh that's pretty, imma take a picture" yep.
he has life 360 with you
not in a weird way, obvi, in like a oh this fun way
You're like the parents of the team
Jay and Nya are the uncle and aunt
In another universe the four of you are drinking wine and talking about how annoying some coworkers have been recently
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tangledinink · 1 year
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Question about your Teenage Mutant What Now AU!
Has Leo always just been in puberty blockers since forever? Because I'm assuming he never had a period in his life because, well, reptiles menstruation is laying eggs
Kinda! I've actually thought about this a lot because I had the same question and went back and forth on it for a while. tldr; Leo has been on puberty blockers for the past three+ years and has never had a full menstrual cycle, but he does menstruate rather than lay eggs, at least when he's under the effect of his bracelet. Further details abt Leo's trans experience and how the cloaking crystals work below!
Leo has been on puberty blockers since he turned twelve and went on them before he had his first period. As we've established, Yoshi just kind of discovered that Leo was afab when he put the cloaking bracelets on them for the first time and was like "fuck it I don't have the time to unpack this right now you're Leo and you're my son whatever lesgo," and that was just kinda that and everyone involved was always just down with Leo being Leo. Leo certainly never had a problem with it, and he never felt any desire to switch over to being a girl and would get pretty upset if anyone (such as teachers or other parents) suggested he may be female. As such, Yoshi has always just treated Leo as his son and is more than willing to defend him from anyone who ever questioned his identity. His brothers, likewise, have always been very defensive of Leo and quite frankly were usually confused as children if anyone tried to say Leo was their sister. 'Cause??? Like??? Literally no he's not??? He's always been our brother???
When Leo was around eleven Yoshi did sit him down to actually talk to him about it in-depth, like, 'I love you no matter what and I support your choices but we've never actually for-real talked about this and I wanna make sure this is something that you want and not just something that you went along with,' (Leo, of course, at that point doesn't realize WHY he 'came out as trans' when he was five, he just kind of figures that he must have made the decision to start presenting as masc and go by 'Leo' when he was very little and doesn't remember it now,) as well as discuss the option of puberty blockers with him and ask if that's something he wants. And Leo is 1000% like. YES, I'm sure I'm a boy and YES I want to go on puberty blockers so very much I've been dreading the concept of puberty for months now pleeeesssase let's do that. So... they do, and that's that!
(And Yoshi would have gone along with whatever Leo said, but internally he's like, OH THANK GOD, because he's also like ?!?! How tf would turtle puberty translate?! Would the cloaking crystals cover that??? Surely my son wouldn't lay FUCKING EGGS but holy shit what if he did and would I be morally obligated to warn him just in case--!?!)
I do think that the cloaking crystals cover menstruation, however. In this AU, the cloaking crystals (at least the ones the Hamatos have) do provide an active transforming effect rather than just a 'disguise.' I don't think it could really work otherwise! It's definitely not a 100% transformative effect, though, and their true biology still plays a major influence on them. (ie they get cold easily! They swim really well and can hold their breath for a long time! They're naturally more athletically inclined than most other kids and a lot hardier! etc. etc. etc.) but I don't think it would leave gaps as big as to let them lay eggs or anything like that, just like it doesn't allow them to shed their skin or to go into full brumation. It's also worth noting that they're turtle mutants, but they're not full turtles. They're half-human, too! So who's to say if Leo would lay eggs even if didn't have the cloaking crystals or the puberty blockers? He does end up having one little baby period right after he goes on blockers, which is not super uncommon, and is very dramatic about it, but April big-sisters him through it and he hasn't had any since. In the fic he is currently in the process of starting testosterone in the near future, which is something that will be discussed/explored in later chapters!
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pinkanonwrites · 3 months
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YES YES YES THAT IS A VERY ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF HIM.
Pretty much after he no longer is a decepticon and is working with the military he becomes obsessed with this show called nurse whitney (it's p much just like Grey's anatomy or smthn ig) and he becomes so inlove with this show he watches it and bases scripts of it and his dream is to become a screenwriter. After the war whenever he comms other decepticons they usually answer with "no I haven't read ur screenplay yet" 😭 which I think thats super cute bc almost everybody he's met he is obsessed with showing his writing and having ppl review them for him (also also, in some panels he's wearing reading glasses which is chefs kiss)) also important to note that even tho both starscream and skywarp betrayed him (fucking shot him after finding out he was no longer a decepticon on multiple occasions)) he was willing to just forgive them and let them all be buddies again. He also talks abt movies alot and when he gets reunited with them he tells them how he's always seen them as the three amigos and asks them if they've seen that movie 😭
Do you know marissa faireborn? She's the leader of the group he works for. Some speculate he has a crush on her (which I also agree with) bc the main character of his story and her lover are lowkey hinted at to be him and her (her name has been scribbled out in his script and replaced with his oc's name, and her bf in the story is apparently as handsome as an f22 jet and can travel at mach 10)) but he's very sweet to her and helpful even tho she's lowkey kinda rude to him ahehwhwv she was the one to gift him his dog tho. She reads his scripts even tho she dreads it and he said he'd only work with that military group if they offered marissa a job. They also go on vacation alot together. I'll think of more things but those are just some of the reasons he's so fuckin sweet.
- from number 1 idw thundercracker fan
AWWWWWWW I LOVE HIM!
I had heard about Marissa before but I didn't know TOO much about her other than the fact that she was a bit abrasive, they were friends and coworkers, and she would read his work even if she wasn't super interested.
He seems so SWEET and like such a lovable DORK I really love that he's an aspiring writer and he's always showing off his work. That's confidence in your art, babey! And I'm glad he's still buddies with Skywarp and Starscream cause I love trine dynamics SO MUCH. Thank you so much for the crash course on this sweet boy! To be honest I have been working on a little pet project starring TC based on what I thought his personality was like and this makes me a lot more confident in my read of him, so that may be something to expect in the future!
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not-poignant · 6 months
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Hi! I apologize if you've spoken abt this already, bur how come ruts aren't really a thing in the UtR verse? Anton mentioned he's never had one, and they're very rare - is there a biological reason for it? Did Gary ever have one? (Starting to see what he is like during regular sex, I feel like he'd commit actual murder-by-cock during ruts fjfnfjnfjf) Anyway, love your writing to bits!!
Hi anon!
So I'm gonna write an essay, buckle up (I always write an essay on this stuff, I can't help it, I signed a contract at birth that said I would)
Firstly, ruts are sort of a 'new invention' in the omegaverse landscape. And by new I mean I'm really old and some people don't remember omegaverse without it. But I sure do! Only omegas went into heat, because heat indicated hyperfertility, and alphas were already hyperfertile without a rut. That was the whole point. You know, that's why they make such a perfect match. Hyperfertile mate meet hyperfertile mate.
They didn't need a rut.
Ruts came along later, and honestly in most of the fiction I've read that have them, ruts are very rarely written, and are often more like a threat hanging in the background. A sort of 'lol make sure you have food and water because like people go to hospital if they're in rut / heat at the same time.' Literal just about fuck-or-die situation. Or fuck-and-die. Probably more like fuck-and-who-cares-about-anything-else.
Anyone who has ever fucked a lot in a marathon session knows that eventually you just need carbs. *coughs*
Ruts are conceptually a TON of fun to think about. It's like authors went 'you know what hyperfertile alphas need? Something like a heat, that also makes them completely out of control.'
The thing is... alphas could already go completely out of control around an omega for a lot of reasons. It happened in fated mates stories. It happened in 'an omega is in heat and I just can't help it' (oh bless all those noncon omegaverse stories we have which are literally 'you just smelled so good you had to be mine'). A lot of the things ruts are supposed to achieve, already can easily be achieved in omegaverse.
Conceptually, ruts can be interesting as 'the alpha is also super vulnerable and helpless and needy during this time' but it's almost never written that way and it's not how I like to think about it. And in terms of worldbuilding, the places where it's made the most sense has almost always been as a dystopian thing that's almost dreaded by both the alphas and omegas (and everyone else) alike, and is just as much likely to be controlled by suppressants as heats, because no one likes to turn into an Automatic robot rapist. (Even though that's basically what many alphas become if they smell an omega in heat, I'm not saying ruts are the Department of Redundancy Deparment or anything, but they're a little bit like City of Redundancy in the shire of Redundancy population Already Covered In General Omegaverse tropes in the country of But It's Fun Anyway continent of Redundant.)
I love reading stories with rut worldbuilding but I have to suspend my disbelief so hard. And I know, I know, you kind of have to do that with omegaverse anyway, but there just comes a point where it's like 'but...the heat...triggers a response in alphas...thats mean a rut...is not needed...because that's what the heat does.' In some ways it takes some power and strength away from the symbolism of the omega's heat (romantically it's very interesting as the trope that renders the often hypermasculine character as so helpless to the omega that they basically have to have sex with them (guess what a rut is? Same same not different! Okay it can be different. It's often not though.))
As a result, I personally like worldbuilding that differentiates a general alpha response to an omega's heat, to a rut. And therefore if a rut is the more extreme version of a general 'must fuck' alpha response, it's likely to go pretty not...great. Much like unfulfilled heats are often characterised as agonising, I like to think of ruts are potentially very fatal. (Warning! Warning! The hypermasculinity levels are critical, boss! He's gonna blow! This time his heart! Not his cock!)
The worldbuilding mentioned in the chapter you're referring to - in the Underline the Rainbow universe - states that ruts are vestigial. It's killed too many alphas who have experienced it.
It basically knocked itself out of the genetic line, in the same way that peak alphas are going the same way because people just don't do great living like that in a functional society.
Also consider the...setting of the story if you will. This is a place where we're rehabilitating omegas and helping them recover from extreme trauma. The professional response to 'I go into rut all the time' alpha companion candidates is 'see a health professional, you can never ever ever ever ever be a companion here, because we...care about our omegas, and don't think your rut takes precedent over their health during a heat. Go away.'
None of these alphas go into rut! None of them should! It would be terrible from a story perspective (I mean, for me. I'm writing trauma recovery).
The only alpha on the grounds who potentially could go into rut is Caleb, I think he has the disposition for it. And I think it would be speedily suppressed with heavy doses of medication for the safety of any omega near him.
The thing that really frustrates me from a worldbuilding perspective is that in some ways, heats make sense. It's a fertile period for an animal that cannot afford the physiological cost of being that fertile all the time. That's it. In humans who already have menstrual cycles (which create fertility windows so the woman or person with the uterus doesn't have to be consistently fertile the same amount all the time), this makes actual biological sense.
Ruts in omegaverse don't even mean what they mean in nature, it's so frustrating. In nature, ruts are sort of connected to mates, but not about fucking them endlessly most of the time. It's about competing with rivals. Going into rut is marking your territory, attacking fellow stags (sometimes to the death), and keeping hold of your herd or flock. This makes...much less biological sense. It's not how it's written in fiction most of the time, and it's really just 'what if heat but alpha.' I'd love if ruts were 'HHH I have to FIGHT every ALPHA I SEE to the DEATH or at least MEASURE MY HEIGHT against HIS or SHOUT to see whose VOICE is LOUDER we are DICK MEASURING NOW my dick is BIGGER I am going to FUCK AN OMEGA IN TRIUMPH. YOU! THERE! COME HERE! No wait where are you going? Stop running!' That's... that's the world I want to live in sdalkfjsaflksaj
I have no problems with that, most omegaverse is just pure mindless pornography for fun, or very thin worldbuilding for fun, and orgasms are had by many and it achieves it's purpose.
But I can't justify something like that making sense in the Underline the Rainbow as a thing these characters experience. I like it as a 'oh this used to happen but we couldn't just go around killing each other and also we died so...' I'm pretty sure it's taught about in schools, lol. In the same way that alphas dueling each other to the death is now pretty much illegal in most places, some things you either just culturally change for the betterment of society (which is...literally the purpose of Hillview), and some things you X out of your own genetic lineages because the thing itself kills you.
Since ruts are in most serious omegaverses presented as extreme events, and alphas are already hyperfertile (in worlds where betas exist), they're just redundant.
Fun in PWPs, and fun for angst, but not the kind of angst I'm personally going for.
Thanks for coming to my really-not-a-TED Talk! :D
(Er so no, Gary has never gone into rut).
(In webtoon Define the Relationship one of the alphas goes into rut but because he's like a submissive alpha he basically needs to be fucked like he's in heat by another alpha and I just actually do kind of love the subversion of 'what if heat but alpha' where it's like 'no literally what if they have to be knotted and they have a whole bunch of shame about that.' But almost no one is writing it that way so aslkfjdsa)
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charmedreincarnation · 11 months
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hii maya!!! i have a success story and im so excited bc this is my first manifestation success story.
for context for everyone else, i was getting bullied at my workplace. my boss hated me and would mock me in front of people and my coworkers disliked me and disincluded me from things and talked behind my back. It was so bad and i was searching for another job instead even though this was so close to my house, the pay was good, the actual work was easy. etc. I told maya abt this and she was such an angel and would let me vent to her and gave me a lot of advice about manifesting.
I wish I could say that I took her advice and changed my life but I honestly struggled a lot. I rmbr crying every single night before going to work and constantly just dreading being there or the thought of having to be there.
But everytime I vented, maya would always tell me to just affirm while listening to theta waves as I was going to sleep so I tried to atleast do that. In hindsight this was a really big thing. I was recently looking into SATS and reading posts about how important what you do before sleeping is because you are super suggestible. I think crying every night made me keep manifesting that my job sucked and stuff whereas affirming that it was great helped to start changing that.
I also tried to ignore the bullying and just act like I was being treated correctly. Like one time my boss said that she wished she had hired someone else and before I would have said nothing and just gone home and cried but instead I just laughed, taking it as a joke, and said that I'll make sure to work hard so that she can be proud of hiring me.
Slowly over the course of 2 weeks things started to change. We got 2 new people added into the team and one of them sits next to me and is my friend and I talk to him a lot. My boss and coworkers are okay with me now, like we have nice small talks and I haven't been undermined in a while. I made an error and before it would have become a big issue and while I did get scolded slightly, it was more of a "be more careful when doing this" versus what I usually got which was "you are so stupid, why are you like this." I also made a lot of other friends at work and work is pretty fun! I look forward to going to work sometimes (not all the time bc I'd rather just be at home in bed) but yeah it has changed so much and I'm much happier.
i just want to thank you so much maya. you are such an angel and i genuinely appreciate you so much. i can't wait to come back to you with a void success story!!
I am beyond proud of you! Your Success is proof that you overcame everything and persevered. But I actually want to point out your reaction to your boss, and encourage everyone to follow suit. You quite literally laughed at the 3D which is what I would do metaphorically but I mean physically probably works better lol.
Regardless I’m happy for everything you’ve accepted as yours. I’m also glad this is only encouraging you to want to go farther and achieve your entire dream life, not just a good one you can tolerate. When I reached this stage I remember I had a thought like “well maybe I should just accept this” “or it’s not that bad now I guess so do I really need to continue or can I chill” and if you have to ask yourself that the answer is no and you know you deserve it all at the highest degree.
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newty · 4 months
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🌙 a teredio playlist
also i totally grabbed those words in the edit from meditation by richard aldington go read his poem here.
anyway. some selected Thoughts:
canta per me - Yuki Kajiura
The life of the love beloved in my heart oh be happy, you, my soul sing farewell
strong voice and strong violin. it has a proud tone even through what it asks, but it's also asking bc it won't say goodbye itself.
Before We Drift Away - Nothing but Thieves
And as we sing this familiar song I thought I'm gonna miss your love when it's gone Will it flow into the river Or will it go to waste?
the uncertainty that separation/death is going to happen but with no idea how or when. use of the ocean bc sanbrequois shoreline but also the funerial river in twinside
Free If We Want It - Nothing but Thieves
I walk beside myself To see what's left Of you and me And what it means If it goes wrong (don't look back) At least it was real
reflection on a past that feels meaningless but still had a loved one in it. having the ability to move on but also the choice to continue as things are. but mostly just let that shit go and keep going
see also: stand by me - florence + the machine / tsuki o miteita - kenshi yonezu / let the starts fall down - yuki kajiura / walking the wire - imagine dragons / dance me to the end of love - douglas dare
---DION
Pianissimo - Agent Fresco
Could this be All there is Will this shame have a name Only for this night Calm me for this night Oh this shame has a name
dread, uncertainty, danger, desperation. shame is the name of the love that doesn't speak. relying on smth once and then needing it again and again.
Pyre - Agent Fresco
We both belong to longings of past Can you see the pyre below? We both belong to longings of wrath Can you feel the fire grow? Loneliness has only shown me I can't let you go
pairs w pianissimo. the expectation of punishment and the tone of danger. having no time and finding extensions of smth by carrying it in the body, even if it hurts or it's haunting.
IL DONO DELLA VITA - Måneskin
The sound of your ugly laughter Has opened the way for me to the right path I breathe in clean air And I let it kill me But my heart still beats A light that rips through the ground
defying the ppl who are guiding you by doing what they want and not being destroyed by it. part of me thinks this one is a bit too self aware for dion tho LOL
Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths
Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you Today, of all days, see How the most dangerous thing is to love How you will heal and you'll rise above Ah, it's more courageous to overcome
i mean. achilles. convincing someone who did great things that they're worthy of more than nothing and death. the length and how many pleas it takes to finish, but achilles' choice is still left unanswered.
also see: the dragon sups - takeharu ishimoto / too much is never enough - florence + the machine / never let me go - florence + the machine / rest up, ignis - yasunori mitsuda / wait for me - agent fresco
---Terence
The Driver - Måneskin
Bare your soul 'till it's naked Bite my lip 'till you break it If you're gonna set fire to the night Baby, let me be the lighter If there's nowhere to go when you wanna go wild I wanna be the driver
enabler terence!!! also lot of feelings abt power. speaker is ordering the subject to rule over them. the subject is the one doing things, but the speaker is a necessary part to all of them. a driver is in charge of the vehicle but not the destination
De Selby (Part 2) - Hozier
What you live in Darling, it finds a way to live in you I wanna run against the world that's turning Let all time slow, let all light go I wanna kill the lights
aka 'terence doesnt actually show any resentment for bahamut for cursing dion into this bs life but for the next 3 minutes 47 seconds he does.' and hes gonna go against the world if dion wants it done
I, Carrion - Hozier
I do not have wings, love, I never will Soarin' over a world you are carryin' If these heights should bring my fall Let me be your own If I should fall, on that day I only pray, don't fall away from me
laughs in dragoons in the sky and bolting straight back down to earth. also bahamut holding the earth. also god this is so saccharine i almost hate it
also see: lover, please stay - nothing but thieves / ghastly medley acoustic - masashi hamauzu / shield of the king - keiichi okabe / the battle is to the strong - kajiura yuki / francesca - hozier / umi to sanshouu - kenshi yonezu / keep me in the open - gang of youths
also terence & kihel tagteam times are the beginning - one ok rock / blood upon the snow - hozier / lost in the snow - yoshitaka suzuki / tendou-sama is smiling - KOKIA / my hands - leona lewis
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alyimoss · 26 days
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Yeah I'm also new to tumblr that's why I'm doing this (re: starlo dad ask a few days ago)
Also do you have starlo hcs
lmao welcome to tumblr
and yeah ig but theyre not rlly?? idk substantial?? its been a while since i was insane abt uty, ive been meaning to replay it but stuffs been getting in the way.
anyway heres a couple
i think hes a good cook. i like the thought of him teaching ceroba how to cook, too (she almost set the kitchen on fire, they yelled about it in fear, had a couple drinks, then almost set the kitchen on fire again and yelled abt it). he also is the one cooking for the rest of the feisty five more often than not (they others are mostly ok at cooking tho. ed's really good, but struggles sometimes bc his hands are too big to be able to properly use certain utensils and appliances. moray is also a pretty good cook and help ed out a lot. they make a great team. ace is alright, can definitely follow a recipe, and is really good abt finding ones the rest really like. mooch.. mooch wouldnt go hungry if she lived alone. but shes generally not allowed to cook. has a no-bake dessert everyone loves though, she makes it on holidays and special occasions and to bribe the others)
this isnt my hc but i dont remember who i first heard it from but i loooove the hc that star glows when hes flustered. i think when he first started crushing on ceroba and theyd have sleepovers, hed just start glowing at times and shed throw pillows at his face telling him to stop bc she couldnt sleep
on that note, consider the bunk bed in his room. him and orion definitely shared. and orion definitely dreaded ceroba sleeping over bc her and star would share a bed and stay up late joking around and playing and talking and whatnot and hed often have to get up and just leave to go sleep on the couch or with their parents. they got into arguments about this.
he runs warm. dont hold his hand unless you wanna get sweaty.
in the case of clover lives/dadlo, hes the last one to know that clover thinks of him as a father figure. everyone else knows, either through observation or clover accidentally calling him dad in front of them or them just admitting they think of him as their dad. star probably learns of this via ceroba or dina or one of the five or someone telling him "you know clover thinks of you as a father figure, right?" and he bluescreens about it
im not like. the biggest corn yaoi shipper ever, but i think its cute (and the name makes me laugh), and i think dalv confesses first. theyre in some fancy restaurant or something and star asks "so, what'd you call me here for?" and to that dalv responds by just blurting out that he thinks hes in love with him. and star immediately chokes on his food bad enough he needs medical attention.
so ceroba mentions in-game that living w the feisty five is a bit of a nightmare bc of the sleeping and the fact that everyone has some kinda problem that specifically makes it hard for her to fall asleep. i think star is actually pretty normal in terms of sleep. might snore lightly if hes in an uncomortable position, but overall just quiet. the rest of the five dont fare so well. ed's got it best, he just snores. loudly, but everyone other than ceroba is just kinda fine w it. moray grinds their teeth and needs to be restrained or theyll end up halfway across the room from where they fell asleep. or farther. ace sleepwalks and talks. ceroba once woke up to him eating the berries off the plant on the dresser by her bed. still asleep. mooch also grinds her teeth and "sleep steals", aka waits for everyone else to fall asleep so she can go through their stuff. star, despite being able to sleep through everything else, somehow has a 6th sense for her or something, because he very consistently wakes up to catch her red-handed and chew her out
thats all i rlly got lmao
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nocopops · 8 months
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of the remaining 7 deaths in DeathCast, which are you most excited to write…and which are you dreading the most
okok so this is a very difficult question because im excited abt a lot of them
i'd probably say harold's death because so many people are affected by it. it's cody's breaking point, leshawna loses the boy she loves. but, at the same time, trent's death also has a lot of angst with it. gwen and cody's friendship really breaks down after that and there's one line that i've written for cody to say that i cannot wait to share with u lot
i'm currently in the process of writing geoff and owen's death and i wouldn't say i've been dreading it, it's just...so creepy. having to write two boys be stitched together is just so gruesome. also heather's death i'm also kinda dreading because it's just so sad. poor girl was screaming and begging and everybody was just watching and nobody could do anything abt it. oh and having to write courtney and trent be impaled with rods and hooks literally gives me goosebumps just thinking about it
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robotpussy · 4 months
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um identity crisis rant ✌️✌️ putting it under a cut because um it's kind of unnecessary. also I'm deleting this soon.
ok so yea I'm not sure if I'm bisexual or a lesbian..... I've felt this way for years. I'm attracted to men when I make them up. or when I barely interact with them. and I know a lot of ppl have this experience and still wouldn't consider themselves lesbians. but lately I've really been.... dismissive of men. when my friend came over a few weeks ago she wanted to talk about boys and whatever and I was just like... I don't care about dating men????? like if I ever do have a boyfriend, they will literally be my butch... my stud... my transmasc (not trans man: trans masc doesn't always = trans man) lover, just anybody who wants me to call them my boyfriend. but not like. a man?
and every experience I've had with a man has been so underwhelming, or at least leaves me feeling anything but bliss. I'm bored, I'm annoyed, I'm angry, I'm sad, I don't feel good 😭😭😭 I also keep "crushing" on men who are unavailable for me. they're already in a relationship or they only date men. and the crushes aren't even crushes, it's limerence. it's obsession. it's "I can't eat or concentrate when you're not around" it's almost like I keep going for ppl (specifically talking abt ppl in relationships) because I know I can't have them but I need somebody to think about... like yea I know when someone is attractive but when it comes to men I don't even like the idea of dating. I just like thinking about how attractive they are? but I don't want to love you..... I don't want to spend my life with you. i just want to think about how I think you're attractive
when I've kissed women/girls in the past, and only kissed, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm always devastated when we have to stop. but in those moments they were euphoric, my chest is going to burst open and my heart will cry from happiness compared to when I've kissed men and I just want it to be over.
I know I shouldn't focus on my lack of desire for men but lately I feel like my attraction to men feels forced!!!!!!!!! it feels unnatural to me!!! when I think about men I feel like I'm doing something wrong. and I've already gotten the dreaded "you just haven't found the right man yet!!!" line when talking about this and maybe that is so! I don't know.
but lately when I call myself bisexual I feel like I'm lying to myself. but I'm not used to calling myself a lesbian yet because maybe I'm not one? I'm young. I have a long way to go when it comes to self discovery. I just wish I knew already. this feeling of not knowing what I am or who I am makes me feel sick (literally I felt so sick at work today my head hurt, my stomach hurt, my chest hurt and yes I did eat today! so I know it wasn't that!!) idk I'm overwhelmed by this now but I'm sure I'll find peace soon. I'm doing too much for someone who knows gender isn't real and doesn't even have one. whatever it's a Tuesday evening. there are other things to worry about like getting to the weekend 😑😑😑
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starlightkun · 3 months
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genuine question, how do you write so fast? 😭 i feel like you’re so quick with your works, both writing and putting them out!!
also i found your tumblr on ao3 and i have to say that you are carrying nct fics on ao3. i hope you never stop writing cause i could be 40 and i would still read your stuff 🫶
i think a big thing has been getting out of my head abt writing! like i only write when i want to, i don't stick to word counts (minimums or maximums), and i dont compare myself to other writers (not that i read a whole lot of fic anymore, but there's a few that i still keep up with and one of them churns out fics way faster than i do, and another who posts like maybe two or three times a year but i still love them!) like i've def said this before, but for me, writing fic is fun, it's something i do bc i want to and if i open a word doc and i'm genuinely dreading it, i'm not gonna do it (my adhd brain simply will not make me lol--tho that is a double edged sword bc i do have to chase myself into doing something i like sometimes, but the ritalin has helped a lot xx)
i also dont go into my fics completely clueless anymore. like, i for sure don't know everything, i learn a lot along the way, and tend to change stuff (and get surprised by my own fics, which is always fun!), but i definitely have more of an outline and general sort of sketch of the fic in my brain and in my word doc before i start actually writing real scenes of any sort, which has definitely helped. like, starting with one little idea isn't bad at all (strawberry sunday literally just started w the fact that i liked the title of a song that i hadn't even heard yet and it turned into like 10 fics??), but i dont just start writing head empty anymore (i used to get a tiny spark of inspiration and try to write everything start to finish immediately because i thought i'd lose it if i didn't, and it'd burn really short. now i sort of just sit with it and slowly tend to it like fire instead and it lasts a lot longer and gets a lot bigger). i ruminate a lot before anything that looks remotely like a story leaves my ideas doc and gets its own doc
idk if this necessarily makes me write faster, but i also edit as i write? like, sometimes i open a fic and i don't have anything in me to write, but i'll reread what's in the draft so far and edit, make little changes, fix continuity errors, etc. not only does it keep the whole plot so far fresh in my mind as i continue writing, but then i have a lot less to proof myself when i finally finish the whole thing because i've already caught a lot of spelling, grammatical, and plot errors! i used to find editing a slog to do bc when i finished my first draft i would be so excited and wanted to just post it! and didn't want to reread all this stuff i just wrote several times to try to find typos, and now it's usually a breeze bc my first draft isn't really my first draft, it's been continually revised as it was drafted. and sometimes i open a doc, won't feel like writing, tinker around with some editing, then suddenly have a lightbulb moment while i'm editing and jump into writing
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ladysomething · 16 days
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og chop dreader anon here,
im not a chop hater, im a dreader, there is a difference I'm glad to see some teammates here haha
its so funny to me how i came here to vent abt my fears on chop and I js ended up summoning all the chop readers lol
also abt the blocking the tag opt, I just like the dread that courses thru me everytime I see another chop fic drop, I'm starting to think this is a pain kink or wtv, anyways
and this is to the fellow chottom truther anon, you're so right
like wdym our princess charles has to even lift a finger during sex, its not abt him sticking his willy into things (little backstory I used to read chop without even caring but then there was a sudden chop drought for like months or maybe I didn't come across one and I got too used to the chottom dynamic)
anyways now abt wygig, wdym... punched in the face 5 times... what am I signing up for??? I'm terrified and u gon leave us on cliffhanger too, acc yk you be a pathological liar mads.. idk what to believe happy wygig Wednesday guys, I'm under mads bed (this is a threat)
well that's true actually, you did say dreader. I just turned the masses against you apparently hahahah
to be fair, you did also summon chop haters!!! just a lot of people who have opinions about chop tbh
lmao so you're a masochist huh? you like to see what you don't want lol
but I do also like princess Charles and in fact there will be pillow princess Charles in his next heat so. who am I to judge to chop dread.
and finalllyyyyyyy ..... why lie about the emotional turmoil when the truth is worse than a lie???
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