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updownlately · 3 months

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okay so bear with me here, but i just wanted to lay my personal opinion down on this because other opinions have been expressed regarding this and i didn't really say my piece on this specific part yet.

im not trying to drag lj down here, or bring this back up for her to be dragged. i just want to state my piece here in regards to the conversations we've been having since last night.

regarding the conversations that have been occurring on this blog in the past 24 hours about lj and katie's behaviour, and with lj's wc behaviour being brought up, i said that (and i quote) "the lack of apology irked me the most! that and how the attention was directed to racial abuse." and "the fact that such a key issue wasn’t even touched upon is frankly extremely disappointing from the lionesses, chelsea, and lj herself."

i honestly still stand firm in my stance and here is why.

***adding a cut bc this shit got kinda long

i've attached the two main apologies i've found, one from the lionesses, and one from lj (her tweet).

the reason that i personally am not satisfied with the response and why i said lack of apology, is because i feel that the words said were not enough. yes sorry was said. yes, it mentioned the actions and remorse that lj felt. but for me, 'really sorry' doesn't cut it. that combined with 'wholly out of character for her' doesn't sit right with me.

we know this isn't out of character. and personally, actions speak louder than words, and the immediate walk out without a single change in facial expression when the incident originally occurred + every. single. time. it has occurred since is insane. this isn't a one time behaviour. being 'really sorry' doesn't cut it. yes you can respect another player and whatnot, but if you're going to let your emotions consistently negatively dictate how you treat them on the pitch, and it being with anything other than respect, that is where i don't see the apology being more than pixels on a screen meant to placate the (rightfully) enraged public.

could i see it a fit apology if action was taken to prevent this from happening again in the future? abso-freaking-lutely!!

but that's the issue for me. nothing has changed. literally nothing.

i caught part of the city vs chelsea game that occurred a few days ago, and as the clock got closer to the end, it was clear how each of lj's tackles and shoves got more and more dangerous. heck, she absolutely bodied a player in the air when it was unnecessary. that could've ended so poorly and im glad it didn't, but i digress.

i'm thinking of the walti incident because its the first that comes to mind as an arsenal fan. the clearly placed stomp. the indifferent look. the walkout without a single hesitation or look of remorse. that isn't the behaviour of someone who is sorry for their actions. that behaviour then isn't 'out of character'.

so then coming back to lj's apology. is she really sorry? or is she sorry it was caught? that too at such a big stage? and where was the attempt to 'learn from my experience'? because honestly? i don't see it.

and i don't doubt there's been more instances like this, ones that i haven't seen (i don't watch chelsea games that often, the timing of most wsl games isn't convenient for me since many occur from 4-7 am and i have commitments during the day). but they seem to be a reoccurring theme.

so yes. there was an apology issued. no i don't think it was a good apology in the least and the behavioural aspect wasn't touched upon. the incident was treated like a one off occurrence (which it clearly isn't).

this all gets furthered by the fact (and i can't rmb who so please forgive me and educate me here if possible), but it was either chelsea or the lionesses that released a statement about racial abuse.

now, i'm not disagreeing that racial abuse occurred, and im definitely not saying that it was okay.

it wasn't okay. racial abuse is never okay and never will have a space in the football that i know of (or anywhere for that matter). period. full stop.

and so yes, i agree with their statement. but to me, it felt as if the red card situation was brushed under the rug.

now, don't get me wrong. racial abuse is totally is extremely important and should be kept to a zero in any situation whatsoever and im glad there was a statement released regarding that matter.

but i recall that when i read that statement, i personally felt as if it was more of a deflection than a stance, and that is what didn't sit right with me.

now, i could totally be wrong there. i understand there's a innumerable amount of perspectives here. i'm merely going off my opinion and what i felt when reading that statement. everyone had a different experience/reaction to it and i can recognize and respect that. all i ask if you respect my take even if you don't agree with it.

(i've lost my train of thought so bear with me if it gets a bit murky here)

but yeah, for me, all of that combined really just made me feel that the apology wasn't adequate, given the severity of the situation.

don't get me wrong. i think lj's is a generational talent. i really do. her footwork, her body feints, her ability to score rockets and find pockets of space that barely exist for more than a second is absolutely insane!

but while i can recognize she's a fantastic player, i don't have to be satisfied with the apology she gave during those times. and i'm not.

is it a weird line to balance for me? 100%. it is something i think about quite often to be honest.

as someone who likes to say they have a concrete set of morals, ethics, values, and whatnot that i like to follow, this is tough for me to navigate. it's very much in the grey area and the lines do get blurred.

im astonished by lj's skill level, but i can't find it in myself to 'rep' her as a player like i do with my other favourites or players that i think are outstanding.

the behaviour doesn't sit right with me and it influences how i perceive her as a footballer and a person, and that's just the way it is.

so all in all, if you've made it this far: a) congrats on making it through my word vomit! thank you really. b) this is my personal take/opinion. all i ask is you try and understand where i may be coming from before you attack me, should you choose to do so. c) im a barely twenty-smt kid tryna navigate life. this is new territory for me, i'm not perfect and i know it. could i be absolutely wrong? yes. but does this stance feel correct to me right now? yes.

and yeah.

at the end of the day. no, that apology wasn't acceptable in my opinion. you can accept it should you choose to wish so, i just won't be. not yet atleast.

anyways, thanks for coming to my ted talk lmao

-blu

#holy fuck this got long #y'all wanted a fic? i give you this instead #sorry i just really wanted to put this out there even if only one person reads this #tho(ugh)ts #blu's takes #lauren james

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girlwithfish · 2 months

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its kinda crazy he smothered me like loll. feels so stupid and lame recounting the same story over and over nothing changes. but i still dk how to process that. some days i feel ive made more peace w everythin and dont feel as strongly and some days like today its more difficult and i think being tired and today not being the best kind of set me up for being more emotionally low abt multiple things in my life. as well as maybe need to stop reading peoples real life stories on reddit abt their abusive male partners bc its more triggering for me than i thought but its hard not to read them :/ idk its just crazy how someone can do something that vile towards u even when you are crying and begging them to stop and saying you cant breathe. literal psycho shit. and i was gaslit for however long into minimizing it even tho deep down i knew it was fucking wrong and i resented him for it but i was treated so dismissively and not taken serious my pain wasnt ever considered so after it happened i was just trained into suppressing it not telling a single person about it not even journaling privately about it just carrying that awful thing w me for idk how long. and i dont even remember when it was bc i didnt document anything mentally or literally and my mind worked so hard to suppress it i justndont have any recollection of when it happened. im guessing either 2023 or late 2022. it makes me angry and sad, and angry bc it is so unjust that he was able to control the narrative once again and determine that that was acceptable behavior and wasnt violent and extremely fucking dangerous too. Would sneer at me and tell me that wasnt smothering or make excuses and act like that isnt inherently Violent and terrible. and even tho i knew it was fucked i was just forced to go along w it even though i resented him for however many months for doing that to me and would bring it up and hed continue to deny it. like i wonder if he fucking remembers that now bc ofc there's been no apology for that specifically but i also have to tell myself i do not seek his validation or acknowledgment bc it is way too late for that and i had to unlearn the gaslighting and manipulation and dismissal and downplaying that he ingrained in me and insisted upon me on my own without him so theres no way i would need him to validate that act or that it happened or was messed up. but part of me still wants that bc even though hes given me surface level apologies and goes on abt his self reflection and discovery that could only occure after he got hit by a bus (enrages me that he now has empathy and some self recognition ig After a traumatic brain injury and months after the breakup) i still did not feel fulfilled by anything he said really. but he is not a person who i seek validation from or value his opinion or perspective at all anymore i never wish to see him or have him in my life again. you dont treat any person like that and yet he countlessly showed me he was okay with treating me violently and terribly and disrespectfully. it makes me sick tbh bc idk how someone does that so easily ur fucked in the head

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pansear-doodles · 11 months

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Cookie run?

Hi. Rant time. Sorry for this but my thoughts you know.

Its a mobile game franchise. Before Cookie Run Kingdom, it was quite niche and was fairly unique for a free mobile app.

But after it got its Kingdom fanbase and a huge boost in popularity thanks to the Genshin shenanigans, it got very alienated and the devs feel more disconnected. They used to feel like indie devs, but now theyre very corporate.

It used to not be a chore to play the games but everything now relies on microtransactions to keep up. The updates occur too fast. A new cookie to TRY your chance to get and play so you are competitively viable- hell even singleplayer/storymode stuff is difficult without the new cookies being up to date in your roster. And for a story telling standpoint, in my personal opinion, it makes things... Worse? They barely reuse old characters anymore unless they're gingerbrave or smthn, because they're getting drowned out by new ones. I get that theyre going for new directions and such but it just feels hard to keep up overall and tiring especially if your favorite character is one that hasnt been updated with new developmental content for a long time (werewolf cookie....) Because thats the thing- they never explore the old characters or leave the new characters in a disatisfied state. Always new this or that. New thing. New features... It used to not be like this.

The fandom was also overbearing. I have many friends and they werent overbearing, id give it that. Its also the fandom where i met my SO Mole Maniac. But the fandom can get so worked up about shipping and all other sorts of drama.

Dont get me started on the problematic updates. One time, there was a really bad update, which drove people to harass the cms (because people dont know the difference between cms and the heads of companies). An old community manager went on a venting on-stream tangent, and she left afterwards. I could detail more about it but its just overall really fucking bad.

Eventually i got tired of it and completely stopped playing, and found a new outlet to express myself and the characters i care about in Rain World. I still hangout with my friends i got from cookie run, most no longer playing the game as well. We just have our own circles. I still like the characters, the art style and some story beats, but overall im off of it.

#ask #drama

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year

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Question; do you think Ray would go Danger Mode if we're unhappy at Mint Eye? I love Ray and I know I'd stick around just for him, but honestly your time in Magenta seems so... isolated. You cant even go outside without an escort, and Ray's really the only person you can have an extended chat with face to face. I probably wouldnt bring it up out of guilt but at the same time ive been told I cant lie to save my life, so-

I guess im just kinda curious whether that would be enough for his fears of losing you to take over, even if you reassured him that you genuinely do like him and want to stay?

I genuinely think it depends on what kind of person you are. There are certain people that don't really mind being stuck in that room all the time because they don't care for interactions with other people. It wouldn't really bother me to be locked up in that room since it's something that I'm used to doing, so for me it doesn't really seem like a problem to feel that lonely isolation.

However, in the cases of people that are more like you, there is no doubt in my mind that he is going to be wary of what that could do to you and your opinion of Mint Eye. What if you want to leave? What if you tell him that you want to go to another place because you’re isolated and afraid? What if you say you hate him for bringing you here?

He wants to protect you from the outside world. He brought you here so that he could keep you away from everything that he's afraid of. So, it didn't really occur to him that you would miss anything out there. He wants to make you feel like a true royal in his midst... that’s why you are his prince/ss. That’s why he wants to worship you in a castle.

That's why he tries to overcompensate himself by giving you the most elegant room, the best food, clothes that are perfectly sized, and the like. Anything that's in the realm of possibility that he can get for you without becoming a nuisance, he's already done it.

He goes over these details in a in his diary. There’s so much he time he put into figuring out what makes you tick. He spends a long time trying to figure out how to do all of these things so that it'll be okay when he brings somebody there. The details are immaculate. He didn’t miss a thing and that can be the unnerving part if you look too hard.

He is choosing somebody perfect for him. You’re perfect for him and he can do whatever it takes to placate you. He was all but given the opportunity to choose somebody that he thought was best and that's where this starts to go south. His obsession and paranoia can win in the end if you don’t press the right buttons in this situation and give him a chance. Even if you’ve done it all right, if something goes wrong around you and him, he might not be able to believe you.

For example, in Day 4′s Bad Ending, he assumes that you haven’t been doing chatrooms because 707 manipulated you. He says “you played his game and you were with him when you weren’t talking to me”. He doesn’t stop to listen to anything you say because now he thinks that you’re going to leave him behind forever because you believed 707 and not him. You haven’t even really talked that much to the RFA in this ending. You didn’t try. But, does that matter in his mind?

No.

It doesn’t.

Ray’s paranoia is stronger than his belief in the facts. If he thinks that you’re at risk of being taken away, he becomes forceful and straightforward in his desire for you. He keeps you in your room like its a dollhouse... not a toy box, toys can be broken and thrown away, but a pretty doll on a shelf is meant to be admired by all. He can fix this if you just let him. You can start over again and again and again.

Or, in V Route, BRE1 happens when you don’t engage with Rika and V enough and Rika decides to give you back to Ray as a plaything. You don’t care for V in the same way she does, so she loses interest and assumes Ray will have much better use for you. You are useful, but she’ll figure that how to use that later. In the meantime, Ray whisks you away back to your room as he says he’s excited to spend time with you again. Apart from him telling you about how Suit Saeran wants to meet you...

He comments about the “AI” in distaste, and you try to correct him. That’s about the point in this situation where he becomes upset and angry, why are trying to talk about those people? Is he not good enough? He’s so upset that you want to talk to the RFA and believe in the outside world after the Savior said that there’s no chance of that. He doesn’t know what to do. He just knows he refuses to lose you even if you’re mad at him. He locks you in your room until he has the time to decide how he can fix you.

The closest you get canonically to Ray being okay with thoughts and talk of the outside is around the time you kiss him.

That’s when he’s started to shift away from the cult more and more in the belief that protecting you is more important... even more important than his revenge. But, Rika snuffs out his light after she’s informed by a believer who spotted the two of you. She was already suspicious but that was it for him there. He was destroyed before he could fully listen and try to understand the world and why freedom is more than what he thinks.

So, when it comes down to it, what does it mean when you tell him that you feel a little stir-crazy? It matters how you tell him. If you start talking about how you are overwhelmed with being here and you want to go out, you need to be careful of how you mention it. It wouldn't be as bad if you said that you wanted to walk around the building with him. In fact, it's not like he gets upset when you leave your room and take a little stroll.

You're allowed to do that in the beginning of your time there with your key card. It's not that he doesn't want you to explore or feel safe there, it's that he wants to be there to experience all of these things with you. The selfish part of him wants to see your reaction to everything.

He wants to capture the way you look whenever you see something for the first time. He doesn't want you to be locked away. He wants to let you experience all kinds of things with him. In an Ideal World, he knows that he wouldn't have to be afraid of what could go wrong if somebody bothered you or got into your personal space.

But, because of the circumstance that you're in, it's not the ideal world. It's not a place where he feels things are okay. He brought you here because he thought that he could protect you from the pain and the misery.

So, if you just tell him that you want to wander the building, you can do that. You have the right to do that as a believer. You only needed an escort before you were an official member. So you can walk around and get a lot of things out of your system. The only part that might feel isolating to you is the fact that there's not a lot of people to talk to. The people you can talk to you aren't exactly the cheeriest bunch in the world. That might be the point where you have an issue. That might be the lonely part that bothers you the most. Not the fact that you can leave the room if you want to, but the fact that there's not really people to talk to that feel human.

That would be the problem for him. Even though the people in this place in Mint Eye are safe, he fears losing you to everything and everyone. So, in terms of that, that would definitely be something you would have to look out for. But I feel like that can be easily remedied for the more that you talk to him and help him understand that you don't want to leave his side, you just feel a little isolated. There are ways to make that a little bit better.

But, he's the one who has to figure those out.

His paranoia is really only an issue in the context of something going wrong. As long as things continue to work out smoothly the way that he thinks that they will, he doesn't have any fears. Is there an ideal solution? Not really. That's going to hinge upon your needs and what you're going through.

No matter what happens, you're going to come to a standstill when you have to confront him with the reality of what being trapped here is. There is no way to run away from it because eventually it's going to come up in conversation and you'll have to talk about it. That's going to be the moment where you'll have to figure out what you actually value and what you're willing to do for him. Can you get through to him by saying that this place isn't good for anybody? Hard to say. There's no guarantee that you could do it before a certain somebody would step in and snuff out his light.

#ask #character analysis #mod kait #mystic messenger #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #anon #ray choi #choi ray #ray mm #ray mysme #ray mystic messenger #mystic messenger ray #mm ray #mysme ray

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penelopepserver · 6 months

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Sunday weekly roundup, 13th November!

I just chugged half a bottle of cola and I'm feeling SO PUMPED RN RAHHSHDHAHAHAAAA- also, I was originally planning on adding a small article about Void's planned comic but I feel like that'd add a bit of pressure, so consider this snippet here a special mention! I love your work Void, but I love you more. If plans change, that's totally okay!

•Server's "Counting if bored" channel is currently at 266!

Server addition count! (13th of November- 19th of November): 15 new characters to the server!

This includes,

•quentins thirst will never be satisfied

•Bob sparks

•Lonan, Pip's father!

•...."my brother"??? I don't have a brother? What are you on about Pinface- this isn't canon!

Guys just letting you know I am NOT registering THE IMPOSTER as an actual character! That guy like.. bullied me for hours yesterday! No one seemed to get my sos signal<//3 BUT THATS OKAY I FORGIVE YOU ALL!!

among us scandal

A certain someone had a bit too much fun running around terrorising the locals as the imposter from among us, while this doesn't seem all too intresting the among us was very much feared, by Kolby and Edmund! I warn you all now of the imposter among us. ....sorry, I thought that was really funny.

Indigo has been kidnapped!

From what I can tell, Indigo, child of Bob Vesleb, has been kidnapped by the infamous Dr Danner! Resident megamind. This HORRIBLE occurance has only occurred today so progress regarding the case is little to none! Please can we get the word out?? If you know anything, tell me or get in contact with one of Indigos friends! :((

Void was kidnapped too!!

HELP ME IM SOBBING I WROTE LIKE 3 PARAGRAPHS ABOUT THIS BUT TUMBLR DIDNT SAVE IT IM SO DJSJAJAARARAAAAAHHHH

anyways, paraphrasing what I was supposed to say, Void cat was kidnapped in another server by show host and paranormal investigator, Bob sparks. His show is 100% gonna get cancelled when they find out about the animal abuse allegations I'm about to throw at him because the ONLY PERSON who likes his show is (and I'm really ashamed) Dodgems. LIKE POOKIE NO PLEASE THERES OTHER PEOPLE TO IDOLOZE, LIKE DEVILEENA!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP THIS MANDESS<//3

If someone could save Void cat in the spooks of stepton it's actually give me a few years of my life back.. thanks in advance!<3

Dusk and Titch are friends!?

It was Jack the jester's birthday yesterday! Brother of invidia and son of Lord Zapza, we wish him a very happy birthday. Now, as my associate mentioned in a previous post: Dusk and Titch have been at eachothers throats since the BEGINNING- thankfully, due to the word of DUSK X JACK getting out, Titch and Dusk had a one on one talk in which they've been honest and caring towards eachother!? SHOCKING: TITCH SAYS SOMETHING NICE AND GENUINE.

Dusk: "Thank you.. so.. what exactly is your problem with me?.. there has to be something I can do to not anger you so much!"

Titch: "It's just....it feels like you get special treatment...like everyone treats you like a helpless baby that can do no wrong....I know that it's not true but.....this....upset me so much"

The Ethan vs Spirit phone debate

It was heavily argued wether Ethan or the spirit phone gang would win in a fight- setting the scene: its a boxing ring. No weapons, no hand to hand combat. Even if Pickles is a murderous spirit, Ethan has memorised banishing spells so that's all 3 ghosts out the picture immediately. Arabella is out of the picture too- it'd be a pretty miserable fight, Arabella vs Ethan.

Ethan vs Kolby: if Ethan had prep time beforehand and a weapon he would win but I'm pretty sure in terms of hand-to-hand in a boxing ring Kolby takes the crown, Void declared it a draw.

Ethan vs Pip? Imagine this: feisty crows in a trenchant vs mortal boy. Its a pretty even matmating you ask me- the winner was never declared and personally even I can't decide!

Now, if you have a a differing a opinion, lmk! You can even tell me anonymously if it's that good.. >:) we support fighting and drama here

for anyone wondering, Dani is still in the process of being saved. Uh.... at the time I'm writing this I'm actually kinda in danger but yknow- whatever. To save Dani!

Thats all for now folks, until next time!

-Penelope Paparazzi

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biolums · 1 year

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hiii hope ur well do u have. bl recs..i trust ur taste immensely 🫶🏾

HIIIIIII SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I WANTED TO HAVE TIME TO DO THIS AND NOT RUSH IT!!!!!

so first of all. i DO watch a lot of shitty bl its a past time i greatly enjoy BUT this will be a list of shows i recommend because theyre GOOD fjdjsjkfksjdkf also idk how much bl youve watched if any!! so if youve seen all of these i can and WILL rec more im just putting the ones i would recommend MOST rn

adding a keep reading. this is a bit long i apologize jfsiodjf

1. Bad Buddy (available on youtube)

WAGHHH this show changed me as a person… rivals to friends to lovers, romeo and juliet, secretly dating… its just sooooo good. its about pat and pran, who have lived next to each other their entire lives BUT their parents Hate each other. occurs mostly in college where they live across from each other now (sighs.. fated lovers…) AND their friend groups hate each other too. rivals 2x… however theyre forced to work together because the university is threatening punishment if the two groups dont stop fighting.

this show seriously is just SOOO good and i relate to pran on a personal level. both like… autistically and loving pat-ingly (ohm pawat.. whew hes Such a man)

2. Where Your Eyes Linger (available on viki? or dramacool if you want to pirate it lol)

OK a lot of people rate this kind of mid in kbls BUTTT its forever my favorite idc. its about a chaebol and his bodyguard who was essentially adopted by the family for the Sole purpose of being his bodyguard. set in high school and features just the most wonderful yearning and also for some reason they only have one bed in the apartment they share. goes into power structures and stuff a bit which i thought was cool :) basically the bodyguard has been in love with the chaebol his whole life but never acted on it because 1. thats not his place and 2. taejoo is Straight. he yearns quietly until Uh Oh… someone starts taking kang gook (the bodyguard)’s attention away from taejoo and he gets jealous.

3. I Told Sunset About You (available on viki. i watched it on dramacool)

AUOGGH.. this show will tear you into pieces. its just such a BEAUTIFUL and cinematic experience i love it so much… notable things to mention: features cheating and an obscene amount of crying. i love this show but i cannot do crying scenes. it was a struggle fjsjdjfjdjdjf anyways this show is about two childhood friends who are now rivals. theyre trying to get into college and taking classes outside of school to prepare, where they meet each other for the first time in quite a few years. teh is insanely jealous of oh aew for being popular amongst other things and it causes a lot of. tension. teh has a girl hes been flirting with for years and oh aew has a guy he likes but they both feel an INTENSE pull to each other. one that isnt easy on their relationships or theirselves.

OH!!! also this show features a ton of thai-chinese culture and is set in phuket as opposed to almost every other thai show being set in bangkok.

also i dont recommend the sequel. i havent watched it but it has some. problematic tropes that leave a bad taste in my mouth. also just destroys the characters! idk thats just my opinion though im sure SOMEONE likes that show..

4. Until We Meet Again (available on youtube)

ok. first of all. this show is about the red string of fate and reincarnated lovers. im warning you now that it literally starts with a double suicide scene and its. its a lot. HOWEVER. i do really like this show!! its sweet and does justice to both its trope and the couple who commit suicide. basically pharm, a stick of a guy who experiences panic attacks and nightmares that he cant explain, enters college and meets dean, the captain of the swim team. they both definitely know something is up and have feelings for each other but they have to navigate flashbacks and discovering what happened to their past selves (in and korn). ALSO has a side couple whos show is currently airing!!!! im not putting between us on here since its still airing but i do recommend it :)

ugh second warning. this show ALSO has soooo much crying……….

5. Gaya Sa Pelikula (available on youtube)

when i say this show changed me as a person.... god i genuinely have sooooooooooooo many emotions about this show. it follows karl, an architecture student. he moves into his apartment and.. some guy runs in and puts a hand over his mouth and tells him to be quiet. No he is not getting robbed but he doesn't know that. QUEUE fake dating and cohabitation to appease vlad (the guy who ran in)'s sister. genuinely has some of the best most incredible characters ever made and features incredible depictions of internalized homophobia and struggling to live your own life rather than the one someone else made for you. god just thinking about this show is makingme emotional i miss karl and vlad :(

i think this show was supposed to have a season two but something happened with the cast/production crew (im pretty sure it was SA but im not sure) and so theres no sequel. it has a cliffhanger/bittersweet ending but genuinely i think that shouldnt impact whether or not someone watches because its sad YES but its just actually such a good ending and i would have hated if they ended it another way. one of the realest and most human shows ive watched. the BEST depiction of the gay experience ive ever seen. genuinely please watch this show just for that it made me cry and laugh and sob and giggle with how nuanced and thoughtful it is about gayness

6. cherry magic (ITS AVAILABLE ON CRUNCHYROLL??? i watched it on dramacool. lmao)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH the movie sequel just came out and i haven't seen it yet but im soooo excited for it. cherry magic is one of the most endearing shows but it doesn't sacrifice character development or plot for cuteness. the premise is that when you turn 30, and youre still a virgin, you turn into a mind reader. which is a big premise to sell i KNOW. but they NAIL IT. adachi (the mindreader) is introverted, insecure, and uncomfortable in his skin, but his new powers force him to come to terms with himself and exist as a person. he avoids touch as much as possible as everyones thoughts can be A Lot BUT he brushes against the office hottie/mvp and finds out that he (kurosawa) has a crush on HIM. adachi doesnt understand but tries to figure out why this incredible guy could love a shy and awkward person like him. features an aroace side character and a side couple i ignored (save for the cat. udon lovers unite) its just such a sweet but powerful show and i love the characters so much :((((

7. hes coming to me (available on youtube)

OHM PAWATS BACK IM SORRY HES JUST MY FAV AND ALSO THE BEST ACTOR EVER. anyways this show has SUCH a soft place in my heart i truly think its such a special show. its about a ghost who is never visited at his grave and therefore cant pass on and a guy who can see ghosts. Thun has seen ghosts for most of his life but he hasn't really talked to any. Mes has been dead for awhile and longs to have someone SEE him and TALK to him. when thun is a kid, he sees mes and leaves him some offerings. but he doesn't return for a very long time. thuns now a college kid and when he returns to the graveyard, he finally talks to mes and they click. from there, they work together to figure out how mes died to try and help his spirit move on, but develop feelings along the way. has the most HEARTBREAKING coming out scene ever. ohm pawat seriously deserves so many awards. ALSO has a lot of thai-chinese culture!!

i have mixed feelings about the ending. its complicated i like it and i dont like it.. if you watch it youll see what i mean sdfhsoidfjsido

OIADJOASI:JDOIS IM STOPPING HERE THIS IS SO LONGIM SORRY LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE I JUST DONT WANT TO MAKE THIS NOVEL LENGTH IOJF:SDIJSDOI:JIOD

OMG EDITING TO SAY THAT GAP THE SERIES IS A GL CURRENTLY AIRING THAT I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RECOMMEND AS WELL!!!!!!! we stan the autistic queen sam is and mon whos just doing her best in a lesbian world. without knowing shes a lesbian. Somehow

#i had sooo much fun doing this i hope you like it!!!#im sorry its so late finals week was brutal. it destroyed me #BUT IM BACK AND BRINGING THIS WITH ME :)#honestly i have so many more recs i just Really didn't want this too be super long #honorable rec is the untamed #its not technically bl (adapted from gay novel BUT censored) but i disagree #xiao zhan did not put his pussy into that show for it to be called a bromance. has anyone ever considered.#that its NOT necessary to have a kiss scene or a love declaration scene and that maybe. its just enough to have the story #because thats what the untamed is.#iofjsodifjsoidghouifgi;dg i got sidetracked sorry #thank you for asking me this :( you made me blush idfjofishd #let me know what you think if you watch any of these!!!!!!!!!!!!#ily <3 #asks #bad buddy #where your eyes linger #i told sunset about you #itsay #until we meet again #gaya sa pelikula #cherry magic #hes coming to me

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traumatictouch · 3 years

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why tomura reads like a sexual abuse survivor

ive noticed that a lot of survivors - including me - easily read tomura as a csa survivor. ive decided to try to put these impressions into words, mostly for myself, but also for anyone curious as to why he’s so frequently read this way, or why i personally write him as such. i will mostly be elaborating on the reoccurring sexual assault imagery and csa survivor traits tomura exhibits.

triggering themes ahead, including discussed child sexual abuse, incest (sibling and pseudo), trauma and its effects, and sexual assault imagery (from the bnha manga itself). also spoilers for the most recent manga arc.

(disclaimer: i realize symptoms of trauma are pretty much common all across the board, and depression also comes with a lot of these behaviors - but there are some that crop up more commonly in cases of sexual abuse (especially from a young age) than in others. csa survivors also frequently end up with depression, too, so that doesn't necessarily take away from it.)

i’ll start with the cover above. the hands touching him here are much more expressive than the ones he usually wears. it's also framed in a way where you can't see the ends/cap things very well, and they don't appear so symmetrical, making them feel much more like real, living hands grabbing him.

there's also the fact that his face is exposed, which is something we had rarely seen him do willingly at this point in the manga, and even when he had he was still covered up with a hoodie or completely alone. the way he's covering half his face gives off the impression that he's not okay with the way he's exposed.

all of that, plus the obvious distress tomura is in, gives this very glaring assault vibes.

also, the hands on his head are clearly someone's actual, living hands as well. my guess is afo, especially since they seem to be petting him, which is reoccurring imagery between tomura and afo.

tomura's total lack of privacy

there's a clear lack of boundaries between tomura and the adults in his life. most of the spaces that seem to belong to tomura (the bar - he feels safe enough there to take Father off, and his room) are accompanied by cameras and audio transmissions from afo. he has no privacy, and doesn't even seem bothered by this fact.

he also doesn't seem to set boundaries with other people in general. toga can hold a knife to his neck, spinner can grab him and yell in his face, the doctor can shout over his earpiece, dabi (or anyone, really) can say whatever rude or callous things he wants to him… really the only time i can think of that even comes close was when mr. compress made a joke about working with overhaul and tomura said "hey, not funny."

he seems to kinda just let whatever happen to him. earlier in the series, tomura seemed to rely on kurogiri to notice when he needed space and step in for him rather than ask for it himself. that's a pretty telltale sign of someone who's had their needs and boundaries violated (or even punished) for a long time.

Tomuras over-attachment to afo and his praise/affection

obviously afo groomed tomura whether it involved sexual abuse or not, but it is something that could have easily lended itself to that as well. early in the series, tomura clearly highly valued afos opinion of him, and seemed to strive to please and repay him for his kindness. these are feelings afo incited in him on purpose and did, canonically, take advantage of to turn tomura into a villain and pawn - who's to say he didn't use it for other purposes, too?

it's also the kind of thing survivors tend to latch onto to cope with their abuse. it can be easier to think of the event as being affection, returning a favor, and/or special treatment, than to think of it as abuse. tomura looked up to afo so much that it's possible he could have considered (or been convinced) that it was special that someone as great as afo wanted to do something so intimate with him.

also, if this is really tomura realizing his sensei isn't as special and powerful as he'd been led to believe, then his reaction being to cover up while looking angry might, well… be a reaction to feeling used.

Tomura & older men

there's not a lot of people besides afo that tomura seems very quickly, openly… invested in. there are two major ones i can think of, and they are both 1. older men, and 2. mentor figures (even if not to tomura.)

the most obvious of the two is aizawa, who tomura has seemed pretty fond of since his first appearance and, even in the most recent chapters, can't seem to help but think about how cool aizawa is. aizawa isn't a mentor to tomura, obviously, but he is a teacher and tomura knows this. (and seems impressed by the way he tries to protect the students in his care--something afo very specifically does not do for tomura.)

the second, and perhaps less obvious to most, is Stain. i wrote up a whole post trying (trying.) to explain the way tomura seemed interested in him, and you can see a bit more about that and how tomura was hoping he'd be a mentor to him here.

in other words, tomura has shown reoccurring interest in older men, who are mentors, that he does not show for anyone else.

early sexual abuse can influence a person's attractions. survivors tend to be drawn to what is familiar, even if it hurt, and so it's pretty common for them to be attracted to and/or desire a relationship with those who resemble their abuser(s).

and afo is an older man who is a mentor to tomura (and others.)

immaturity (& age regression)

tomura, in early canon, is often described by characters in-universe as being childish, especially in regards to how he processes his emotions. (i don't really like to conflate these things with "age" or "being childish" - but the way the manga itself presents these qualities is clearly intended to give tomura a immature/childish vibe.)

tomura's emotional processing, simple motivations, fixation with video games, toys littering his room, and need for close caregiving (kurogiri) all give off the impression that he's had trouble developing the way he "”should”" have--kind of like he didn't really move on at all.

this sort of stunted development tends to occur in people with childhood trauma, especially csa survivors. ptsd at its core is the brain getting "stuck" in the moment of trauma, so if the trauma occurred as a child, then one's development is somewhat halted there, especially in areas of emotional processing, because the brain and body have to dedicate so much energy to just trying to cope and survive. it's pretty common for csa survivors to have trouble coping with and controlling their emotions.

relatedly: i have no real way to confirm this right now, but i’ve heard that during the mla arc, while tomura was kind of going in and out of flashbacks, he started switching to using “boku” - a self pronoun for young boys - as opposed to his usual “ore”). ive since had to wonder if this is a reoccurring state for tomura - it might partly explain why he keeps his toys around despite never showing interest in them on-screen, and has such close supervision from kurogiri.

again, age regression can go for any kind of childhood trauma, but seems very common in child sexual abuse survivors in particular.

Lack of hygiene (esp oral)

look at how tomura's teeth are drawn compared to even another villains. dabis teeth are straight and clean, whereas tomura's have holes and chips, and tend to be drawn uneven with wobbly lines, like they're covered in plaque.

not caring for one's hygiene is common for people with depression too - but failure to care for teeth also frequently crops up in survivors of sexual abuse, due to an aversion to things touching or being inside their mouth, because it can remind them of the abuse.

in a similar vein, tomura's hair looks unwashed and greasy to me, especially when it gets long. it sort of gathers in clumps and appears heavy. survivors may avoid taking showers because they aren't comfortable removing their clothes for long periods of time, or because the abuse occurred in proximity to bathing. (which is a convenient time for parental figures to groom and abuse their children, since it already involves them being naked and the parent touching them closely.)

in general, there just seems to be something off about tomura's relationship with his body. maybe it's the way he barely bats an eye at major injuries, doesn't care for his hygiene, self-injures, and didn't mind undergoing a surgery that altered its shape and function pretty heavily--but i get the impression that tomura sees his body as just a tool more than anything.

which, if someone grew up having their body regarded as nothing but a means of pleasure, kind of makes sense.

his clothing

im not sure if this has the same “connotations” (for lack of a better word) for flat chested people, but tomura always wearing a lowcut shirt that shows off a fair amount of his chest, but covering the rest of himself head to toe--including his face--feels significant to me. as well as the way he covers up even more (his hoodie) when he’s stressed. the hands, too--being covered up seems to be calming for him.

the placement of the hands afo gave him

you can't tell me little tenko placed these hands where they are by himself. the ones on his chest aren’t even from his family or meant to resemble them - they’re additional hands afo gave him to wear. pretty weird place for “afo”’s hands to go...

I feel like theres a little bit something to tomura frequently having his clothes ripped off during fights

not that it's particularly uncommon for bnha characters to get their clothes a bit shredded during fights, but i can't help but feel like there's something to tomura getting torn down to nothing but his pants twice, with both battles heavily involving tomura's traumas, including the ones related to afo. the vs mla arc with how tomura met afo and how he turned him into what he is today, then the war arc where the methods afo used to control and abuse tomura (the hands) are brought back again--and afo repeatedly takes tomura's bodily autonomy away from him.

AFO's predatory behaviors

tomuras own behavior aside, All For One himself has some behaviors and imagery that gives off very predatory vibes. i’ll start with Ragdoll…

most people theorize that she was going to be turned into a nomu, but there are two important things here. ragdoll was found 1. alive, and 2. naked. all nomu are made from corpses - if afo had time to take her quirk and undress her, he certainly had time to kill her, especially since three days had passed since she was kidnapped. (and, what benefit would there be to making a nomu out of a quirkless hero?)

her dazed state is also curious - we've never been told taking or giving quirks has a side effect like this, and i would think itd at least wear off after three days…

there's also not actually a lot to suggest she was submerged in one of the tanks (that i know of); in the full body image, she doesn't seem to be soaking wet or anything. there's no water dripping off her. there's just a bit of liquid on her face and neck, which could merely be sweat, or… other fluids.

this next part is more debatable due to it being more dubiously canon (although My Hero: One’s Justice has been known to basically spoil villain related lore before it appears in the manga) - but he has some dialogue that makes him sound... pretty fuckin enthusiastic about sexual violence.

and time and time again, afo has been... very creepy and obsessive about his brother. who happens to look an awful lot like tomura, and is vaguely connected to nana as a user of OFA, and we know how far afo would go to spite both of them.

The "wow this is pretty much confirmed now" page

i always thought i was just projecting when i read tomura as a csa survivor - until i saw this page, which was so viscerally uncomfortable that it made me nauseous. it definitely made me decide i wasn't just reading into things that weren't there. that's not exactly to say this panel 100% confirmed it (though it certainly did in my mind, personally) -- but the imagery here can't not be deliberate.

tomura is literally shirtless and bent over before afo, and sure, afos not completely standing behind him, but that's partially because his lower half is inside of tomura. and from our previous example of afo taking over tomura's body…

i wish i could find the translation i first saw - this is the viz translation, which is notoriously horrible - but the one i read felt much more along the lines of "i saved you, so i get to do what i want with your body."

that is a line of logic that could have EASILY applied to their earlier relationship. the way afo saved tenko was very much on the forefront of tomura's mind early in the series, possibly either an idea he clung onto to justify the abuse he experienced from afo, or something afo personally reminded him of frequently.

also… part of afos body is definitely wrapped around tomura's upper thigh, and in certain panels seems to be emanating from between his legs.

speaking of, tomura's stance is also notable to me. compared to the panel where tomura first realized afo was taking control of him, where his knees are pretty straight on or outwards in a powerful balanced brace, in these panels his knees seem to be bending in towards his body, like he wants to squeeze his legs shut. huh.

i touched on this before, but it's interesting to me that what finally let afo fully take control of tomura's body, was having a hand (one afo very specifically used to control and abuse tomura into doing what he wanted) placed upon his body without permission.

so, all in all, afo is "inside" tomura's body, using it for his own means, against tomura's wishes.

what else does that sound like? no wonder deku feels like tomura needs help, despite everything...

again, this isn't to say that csa is definitely the cause of these things, just that tomura does have an abundance of behaviors and imagery that could easily be read that way.

#shigaraki tomura #tomura shigaraki #Tenko Shimura #boku no hero academia #all for one #afo bnha #bnha #long post #ITS FINALLY HERE #i did my best i hope it makes sense #csa tw #child abuse tw #meta #ooc

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chocominnie · 3 years

Text

One Last Time 01 — Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Word Count : 4.3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

The winter’s coldness is hardly enough for you to bear. Even though it’s just the beginning, Seoul is known to just go from season to season without a fucking warning. Not only that, but the first snowfall is going to come soon. The weatherman has been talking about it non-stop for the past few days. It’s going to be a brutal one he says but he says that every year so why believe?

Turning off your alarm, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and stretch. Barely any sleep once again but that’s an everyday thing now.. without Jimin. It’s been some rough months not having his body wrapped snugly onto yours. These days you long for his touch, but completely dread at the same time for very good reasons.

Your kitten greets you with small licks on your thigh in which in return you pet her head softly with a smile.

‘‘ At least I still have you babygirl. You keep me company. “ You coo softly while grabbing your phone off the charger. Texts from your best-friend just spamming you with love and apparently she’s coming over. Great. That’s normal. But one text catches your eye. Jeon Jungkook.

You furrow your eyebrows as your finger slides to open it after typing in your password. In relief, he’s just checking up on you as always. Rolling your eyes, you muster enough strength to actually pull yourself out of bed. The cold tiles hit your feet like icicles. You jump from from foot to foot cursing yourself for not turning on the floor heaters as you walk out the room. Clara, your kitten, follows you out purring nonchalantly with a few meows here and there.

‘’ Alright Clara I hear you. Im getting your food now.’’ You chuckle, grabbing her food from the bottom kitchen cabinet right under the sink and pour her half a cup of cat food and a whole bowl of water.

After snacking on your morning granola bar you prepare yourself for your morning routine. Shower, brush teeth, skin care, get dressed, clean. Your phone dings once more just before stripping yourself of your clothes. You don’t bother to look it’s probably just a social media notification.

Drying your hair with a towel as you get out the steaming hot shower, you head straight for the mirror. Dark circles remain under your eyes from months of barely any sleep. You sigh, and gently rub under them. Jimin is the cause of this. Why would he do this to you. Surely enough he would not like to see you like this at all. The worriedness he would have over you is huge. But he has moved on and you just have to accept it no matter how in-love you still are with him.

As you clean up around the living room, another ding from your phone occurs. A groan escapes your lips as you place the pillows back as they should be. In hopes of it just being your manager giving you some good news, you let out a sigh and plop yourself down on the grey suede couch. Three new messages. Jeon Jungkook, who has text you twice, and Ryan your bestfriend.

‘‘ Damn it Ryan why must you consistently text me twenty four sev- “

“ Beause I need to know if you’re okay.”

You jump and drop your phone onto the hardwood floor from the voice that comes from around you.

“ Holy fucking shit you scared me! “ You whine, turning around to face your best-friend. She smiles and holds out her arms for a hug. You roll your eyes and open yours waiting for her embrace.

“ Oh i’ve missed you so so so so so so so-”

“ You just seen me yesterday..” Your voice sarcastic and bland as you let go of her. You sit on the couch first followed by Ryan sitting right next to you.

She looks good today, the navy blue coat she has on suits her very well. Although, you cannot figure out why she decided to wear leggings today. It’s going to rain a bit later but you disregard that seeing as though she’s the fashion deisgner and not you.

You. The model and seemingly ex girlfriend of one of the biggest solo idol in the world right now. Thats what they call you in the news, headlines in magazines, and real life as if you don’t have a real name and just was his acessory. Your modeling career had taken off way before dating him. The world, or Seoul to say the most, didn’t acklowledge you to that point yet.

“ Okay but still. You know we should be roomates. It’ll be easier for me to watch over you. “

Your head turns towards her quickly shaking no, “ I don’t need to be looked over im 20 years old.”

Silence takes place for the next few seconds. You know what she’s going to say next but pray she doesn’t. Those words will just make you even more upset. It’s already enough you have that constant reminder in your head.

You watch her fiddle with the rings on her index and pinky fingers. “ But you know… you haven’t been the same since you and Jimi-”

“ Don’t fucking say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

She sighs harshly and stands up, “ Im just worried about you Yn”

“ Don’t be. Im fine. “ That lie escaped your tongue way too easily.

Truthfully you haven’t and won’t be fine. Everyday there is something new about that girl and Jimin on twitter. Gossip pages, twitter fanpages, and online entertainment pages just always talking about them. They did this, they did that today. Oh we caught them going to this and that restaurant. That used to be you and him.. but now everyone has forgotten about you and focused on them.

Ever since you’ve told reporters and paparazzi repeatedly that you will not be holding or going to any interview they just stopped. A few calls here and there to your manager about scheduling one but she knew you didn’t want to do them so every request is denied. Although its been a year and some change, they still seem to want your side and your opinion to weigh in on. I guess that’s what happens when you date an Idol.

“ The door.. Y/N the door somebody is at the door.” Ryan says, tapping you over and over. You shake your head interrupting your thoughts for the time being. A few more knocks come through.

Finally up onto your feet you harshly walk to the door with each step making noise. It’s to early in the morning for someone to actually be knocking at the door right now. Whoever it is better be dropping off some sort of package, or they’ll surely get a piece of your mind.

Your frail hands grab onto the doorknob and swing it open. Your eyes almost pop through your sockets. How? How did he know you were here? You certainly did not tell him your knew address.

There he stands, his tall frame looking down on you. Lips formed into a tiny pout along with his eyebrows scrunched slightly. His brown eyes forming an ungodly stare into yours with his specs on.

“ Yn! Do you know how worried I was about you? Why did you not answer my messa-”

“Jungkook how do you know where I live?” You pace your hands on your hips, raising an eyebrow at him. To your knowledge, you never gave Jungkook your new apartment address.

Jungkook swallows slowly and puts on his best innocent face on. Oh please like that would work in this moment right now. The only person who has this address is Ryan because she’s the one who helped you move. Even if you had the choice of not giving it out to Ryan you would of but you couldn’t do that to her. She would of been so upset.

Ryan’s voice blares in the background full of excitement. Here we fucking go. “Jungkook! Come in Come in.”

“ Ryan says I could come in.” He says quickly, brushing past you and removing his shoes.

You heavily sigh and slam the door shut. What is this a family reunion? On your way back to the couch you notice them laughing and giggling like two five year old children. They don’t even notice you when you sit right across from them.

You study their expressions. Their chemistry is something so strong. The way their eyes light up when they meet, the way that Jungkook smiles and scrunches his nose more often when she’s around. You miss that. You miss doing that.

“ So are you both coming along this afternoon?”

Your attention focuses back on them. Of course you weren’t paying attention once again.

Your eyes slowly meet with theirs, “ Huh? Where are we going?”

“ Kookie finally bought a house! He wants us to come tonight for chicken and beer. You’re coming right?”

A sharp pain goes through your heart. If the both you you guys go then theirs a possibility that Jimin was invited too. After all, that is his brother. If Jimin comes then he’s most likely going to bring Isabel. A recipe for disaster. Your poor heart, that most likely could not bare the sight of them infront of you, would shatter into a million pieces.

Jungkook’s expression is ready to burst into happiness or to turn into a pout awaiting for your answer. If you let him down he’ll surely be mad at you. But putting yourself before him this time would be the right thing to do right?

“ Listen Jungkook I.. don’t think I can go.” You start off, playing with your hair with your head down.

“ I’ll space you two apart.”

Your face automatically lifts itself up in shock. Somehow, that little confirmation of Jimin being there, gave you some hope. Hope for what though?

“ Wha-what do you mean?”

Jungkook sighs heavily with his hand going up to his brown hair running it through lightly. “ I’ll make sure you two are distanced apart. You don’t want to come because of Jimin but I’ll make sure I’ll invite more people to keep you company and away from him. Okay?”

“ Please Yn. I’ll be there too.” Ryan begs, laying her head on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook smiles a little, caressing her cheek with his other hand upon waiting your response.

Weird. When did they get so close?

The first thing you want to say is that you really could not go. But they already know the excuse now. You might as well just give in.

‘‘ Fine. What time tonight? “

Skincare and makeup products are scattered everywhere on your vanity. You needed the perfect look for tonight that says ‘Yes im doing fine without you’, but in reality you’re doing worse. This is the night where you’ll actually see him. Damn it’s been a while.

After you apply your highlight you step back and take a look at yourself. Not bad at all. You smile to yourself and start cleaning up the mess of products you had distributed across the vanity. A new text appears on you phone as soon as you gather everything up and put it back in it’s place. Grabbing your phone, it’s Ryan giving you the address to Jungkook’s new house.

You sigh and mentally prepare yourself, ‘‘ Okay Yn. You can do this. It’s just one night of conversing among people. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone new.”

Before heading out you grab your coat and scarf. Clara follows you all the way to the door letting out her little meows once again. You bend down to pet her head lightly with a smile. “ Clara im coming back. I’ve put food in your bowl babygirl.”

She purrs under your touch then walks away to settle herself in her bed. You take one last final look at your decent sized apartment before heading out.

The subway ride was agonizing pain for you due to it being 30 minutes long. Well, at-least you can ride the subway now. Your mind wouldn’t even of thought of that when you were with him. Everybody would have noticed you and bombard you with questions.

The outskirts of Seoul is peaceful and quite. Not many people live over here. Mostly famous actors and idols. The taxi takes a few minutes to get to the fairly clean subway station. Once you’re inside you take a good look at the driver who seems to be eyeing you in suspicion. You pull out your phone and read the words to the address exactly to him. The taxi man pulls of into the empty streets of god knows where.

All it took was a ten minute ride and then you’re there. The taxi man pulls up to a security guard booth. Just beyond the gates is more street but by squinting your eyes you can make out just a few newly built houses.

‘‘ Who are you here to see?” The taxi driver says.

“ Jeon Jungkook.?

The driver talks to the man for a few seconds before you see the security guard pick up a phone and start dialing. The security is extremely uptight, thats good. After a few moments of speaking the security guard finally opens the gates to be let through.

As you pull up to the house you’re automatically mesmerized on how big and beautiful it is. There’s fresh bushes and some white roses growing in the front of it complementing the white modern style home. The roundabout is full of luxurious cars, in which might be all the other guests.

‘‘ 10 dollars’‘ He says. You give him the ten, thank him, and grab your purse, closing the door behind you.

Your eyes meet face to face with the expensive house. Behind you is the tire wheels backing up and running off back down the roundabout. The time on your watch reads 8:15. Only fifteen minutes late, not bad right?

With each step you take fear quivers inside of you. What if he opens the door? What if that girl opens it instead? The wind blows harsh-fully hitting your cheeks making them turn slightly colored. You raise a small, shaky fist to knock on the door. Your blood turning cold, and face turning pale already. Your anxiety already taking its place inside of your body.

The door swings open revealing Ryan smiling from ear to ear. She pulls you inside without even a greeting. You kick your shoes off in a hurry as she pulls you more and more inside. Scanning the area around you, its a nice huge place. First the both of you pass the entrance, then the chef sized kitchen, which then leads you to the spacious living room where everybody seems to be sitting.

All eyes are on you now with some familiar faces and some not. They smile and greet you one by one and you slightly bow your head with a fake smile.

‘‘ Ah Yn, nice to see you again huh.’‘ Hoseok, the smiley one says, getting up from his seat to greet you once more.

‘‘ Nice to see you to Hoseok. Is Chae-Yeon here? I’ve baked the cookies she likes.’’ You say, holding up the big tuba-wear of freshly baked cookies. Nobody can resist those.

‘‘ No she had to work sadly, but I will enjoy them for her.’‘ He chuckles, bringing the tuba-wear out of your dainty, cold hands.

A very familiar voice booms from behind you causing you to turn around. “ Yn! You actually did come!’’ Jungkook, the owner of the voice exclaims. He wipes his hands with a napkin just before pulling you into a hug.You pat his back just before letting go.

Ryan smiles and shakes her head, “ I told you she would come.’’

Only one hour and 30 minutes into the festivities and half of the people here are drunk or nearly there. You on the other hand do not drink at all. Staying sober throughout this whole party is a must. Who knows what would happen if you start drinking and saying things.Ryan seems to be doing good with Jungkook who’s laying on the floor laughing and cracking jokes with her head laying on his stomach giggling along with him. The others have casually invited themselves into the guest game-room to play some pool.

You just sit there on the couch, munching on a cookie and smiling and laughing here and there at one of Seokjin and Jungkook’s back-to-back jokes that seem to never leave the air.

Only for a knock on the door to interrupt their flow of jokes.

‘‘ I got it I got it.” Seokjin stammers, placing a beer bottle down and stumbling towards the door. You freeze, face turning pale once more. It’s them. It could be them. Your teeth find their way to your lips and you begin to chew on it excessively.

Ryan notices it and automatically gets up from Jungkook, ‘‘ Come Yn, lets go see if the game of pool is interesting.’‘

You nod your head slightly as you get up from the couch. What are you worrying for? You look extravagant tonight. No need to worry yourself.

Just before taking your first few steps you stop, that voice. That oh so familiar voice begins to inch closer and closer. The famous laugh that he always tries to stifle by putting his hand over his mouth, that you’ve always thought was so fucking cute, fills the air.

You don’t know what got over you, but you sit back down dragging Ryan down with you. “ Yn? What are you doing I thought you wanted to avoid him.’’

‘’ No it’s okay. Im going to be fine.’‘ You say, awaiting upon his arrival into the room.

The footsteps are haunting you with each step they take.

one..two..three..four..five..si-

‘‘ Everyone, Isabel and Jimin are here.’‘ Seokjin stammers, smiling wide clearly drunk from all the beer consumed.

Your eyes go directly towards his. The pit of your stomach flutters with nervousness as you hold the long stare with him. His facial expression shocked but not showing it at all. His partner, who’s arm is linked with his, smiles brightly at everyone bowing her head slightly to them including you.

‘‘ Sorry we are late. Jimin didn’t want to come out of his home studio but I’ve made him come along with me.’‘ Her voice gentle and soft.

‘‘ Yn I forgot let me show you my new painting i have received.” Jungkook says quickly, trying to escape you from the awkwardness.You can bare it though its not as bad as you thought.

‘‘ Maybe later Kookie. I’m going to grab some juice.” You say, getting up from your spot. You brush past Jimin lightly with Ryan tailing along with you.

The spacious kitchen was perfect for you to escape for just a moment. Silence is golden. Ryan sighs, pouring you and her a glass of juice. Nothing is to be said yet. But you know she really wants to have her input.

Raising the glass to your lips, you take a sip letting the tanginess run across your tongue and down your throat. ‘’ Say it Ryan.’’

She puts her cup down and looks at you with your eyebrows furrowed, ‘’ You aren’t fine. Please just avoid them for the night.’’

You knew it was coming but you have to face the fact that they area couple anyways so why avoid it? Maybe your mind will finally accept it to see it in person.

‘‘ I have to face it one way or another so why not now?’‘

She shakes her head in disapproval, finishing the rest of her juice. “ No you don’t. You’re making yourself suffer and I don’t like it.’’

‘‘ Yn.. did you make these cookies?’‘ A voice says behind you. Ryan’s eyes go wide and then looks at you signaling for you to not turn around. But you do it anyways.

Isabel. How dare she call you by a pet name? You don’t even know her like that and she’s doing this. Anger wants to get the best of you but you remain humble and calm.

‘‘ Yes. Is there a problem though? Are they not good?’‘ You say, putting on your best innocent act.

She smiles as she moves a piece of hair of her perfectly framed face, ‘’ No they are great! I was wondering if i can have the recipe.. for Jimin’s purpose of course.’’

You breathe through your nostrils with your eyes closed. She knows what she’s doing. She likes seeing you suffer huh? ‘’ You can follow any recipe online. I just add almond extract and substitute white sugar for brown.’’

Ryan shakes her head slightly while sticking her cup into the sink. ‘’ I’m going to be back I have to use the restroom.’’

Once she leaves Isabel’s smile drops.’’ Almond? Im- Im allergic!” She says, semi yelling at you. You’re shocked more or so at the sudden outburst that you can’t speak. You had zero knowledge of her being allergic, it’s an accident for sure.

“You did this on purpose!’’ She says, tears filling her eyes as she goes into a coughing fit.

Shit. You didn’t know if anyone was allergic to nuts here but you had put it in anyways because that was the secret ingredient

‘’ I- I didn’t know im sorry is there anything I can do?’’ You say, guilt taking over you while you rush to her side patting her back.

‘‘ Get off of me! You did this on purpose! You never liked me anyways. Jimin! Jimin!‘ She scream’s, coughing and wheezing making her face red.

Multiple footsteps rush into the kitchen. You don’t know what to do at this point so you just back away and let whoever take over. All the commotion going on and yelling is starting to give you a slight headache. All of the boys surround her, bombarding with questions and asking each other what to do.

‘‘ What’s all the yelling about? What happened! “ Jungkook exclaims rushing towards her hunched over body.

‘‘ What’s going on? “ That voice that haunts you everynight finally comes inside the kitchen. When he see’s Isabel he automatically rushes towards her side. It pains you to see him rush to another woman’s body. But that figure is no longer yours so he has every right to do that.

‘‘ She-She put almond in the cookies on purpose! She’s trying to–to-’‘ She manages to wheeze out before another coughing fit.

Jimin’s eyes meet yours full of rage but then taken over by concern. He knows your hurt. Still hurt from the past and from this very situation now. You don’t manage to keep eye contact, so the floor is your eyes’ bestfriend right now.

‘‘ Yn. is this true? Why would you do that?” He says, eyes never leaving yours and voice soft.

You shake your head quickly, “ I didn’t know she was allergic. I always put almond extract an-’’

“ You knew better than to put any type or form of nut in a dish when bringing it to ones house. You never know if someone has an allergy to it.’‘ Jungkook scolds you, eyes furrowed in shame.

‘‘ Don’t blame her. She didn’t fucking know.” Ryan’s voice enters the room in madness. She comes to your side with her arms crossed. Your own personal savior. Without her, you’d still be feeling guilty and taking the blame.

‘‘ Besides, you knew better than to invite him if you knew he was going to bring the girl he cheated on her with.. right?’‘ She says, cocking her head to the side as her attitude takes over.

The room is silent again. Good girl Ryan.

Isabel lifts her head in disbelief along with Jimin. “ Listen that’s beside the point. Just don’t do it again.” Jimin says, focusing his attention back on Isabel. He reaches into her purse to grab her Epi-pen.

His scolding is enough to send your eyes into tears. You shouldn’t of agreed to come. This is a disaster. You take the tuba-wear of cookies from the counter on your way out of the kitchen and dispose of them. Your vision is blurry and you don’t know where your going but you just need some air. You make lefts and rights down long and short hallways till you reach a room that has a balcony.

You slip on who-ever’s house slippers and open the sliding door revealing the winter’s cold harsh air. You lean on the railing and close your eyes breathe in and out heavily.

Wiping the tears away, You open our eyes and look straight ahead. The whole city is lit up such a beautiful view for a sad moment. The sad moment is cut short by the sliding door opening and closing. You don’t bother to turn around it’s probably just Ryan checking on you again. When are people going to stop doing that?

“ Yn.”

Thats the last voice you wanted to hear.

‘‘ Are you happy? Happy for scolding me infront of everybody.” You sniffle, wiping away your leaking nose.

You hear some rustling before something is placed on your shoulders. You look down at the material and shrug it off of you.

‘‘ Give it to your girlfriend.”

‘‘ I can’t let you be cold. Put it back on.’‘ He sighs, picking it back up and coming closer to you. You both stand side by side. Jimin puts his jacket around you once more and before you could re-do your action just before, he speaks.

‘‘ Shrug it off again and I’ll scold you. Do you understand?’‘ He says firmly.

You don’t bother to speak. Silence is golden.

‘‘ Listen.. i know you still aren’t over the fact that we are through but-”

‘‘ Shut up. I don’t want to hear it. Please go tend to your dying girlfriend.’‘ You say, sarcastically.

He huffs, “ She’s resting right now. She wouldn’t have to be if you wouldn’t of put-’’

You turn towards him slowly and meet his eyes daring for him to finish the rest of his sentence. ‘’ Don’t you fucking dare Park Jimin.’’

‘‘ Honorifics.’‘ He says, slightly looking down at you due to the height difference.

‘‘ You’re right Jimin-ssi.’‘

Jimin’s expression is taken a-back. You knew that one honorific word would hurt him.

‘‘ If we are done speaking I will take my leave now.” You say, eyes never leaving his as you take off his jacket and toss it to him, leaving him outside in the cold

This night was one of your worst mistakes. You thought you could handle it, but couldn’t. So maybe Ryan and Jungkook were right. Maybe you can’t handle it at all..

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arlakos · 3 years

Text

Miraculous Rant

Actually, you know what, while im still mad from the previous post I made, lets go off on a rant. No punches pulled. Lets do this.

The lovesquare is the most terrible ship in this fandom. One girl is a hyper obsessed stalker who tracks her crush with her planner for 3 whole seasons, while the boy couldn’t learn to take a hint and stop flirting for 3 whole seasons until he decided to move on with another girl. Ironically that makes them perfect for eachother, but its in a creepy kind of way, not a loving kind of way.

Adrigami and Lukanette in the S3 Finale were wasted events and never should have occured because they were immediately axed in the first few episodes of the next season. I feel sorry for those that were hoping their ships could be real for at least a short actual while, and it makes me want to curse the writers for their story-boner for the status quo of teases

Despite what I said earlier, none of the girls are good for Adrien. Marinette’s stalkery and a borderline yandere, Kagami’s somewhat controlling and too similar to Adrien help him grow as a person, Chloe is a queen bee beyotch and honestly too much like a sibling to Adrien, and Lila is garbage. Fuck it, have Luka date Adrien and they can play some sweet music together (not like that you pervs, I meant they both play instruments).

Nino needs more love. Not only that, but there needs to be more Adrien/Nino bro moments. If Marinette and Alya can have moments together, why not the bros?

Chloe’s character is a mess, and is neither redeemable, nor notably evil. Her role as a villain in season 1 is very hamfisted, such as in the episodes Mr Pigeon and Kung Food. Not only that, Chloe also lacks any of the qualities that makes a good “bully villain” or rival to Marinette, and her sympathetic moments (which are Written by Sebastien) are mostly overshadowed by the fact that Astruc wants her to be a bully, so it just makes her bipolar and confusing when her character is tugged between two writers.

Chloe should not have joined Hawkmoth in Miracle Queen, see my other post as to why I think so. TLDR, its kinda ooc for her to go full on 2d villain like Hawkmoth especially after Miraculer, plus Lila was being build up to be the main antagonist of S3

Chloe got kicked from the Team in Miraculer because people know her identity? Fine. Kagami gets to be Ryuko again despite being known to Hawkmoth in Ikari Gozen? Not cool. Ladybug shouldn’t be a hypocrite and be willing to break her own rules just because “Kagami is my friend and Chloe’s not”. Same goes for her breaking the rule with secrect identities with Alya, only for her to go on and on about the rules to Chat when he pries.

Zoe is a bland character who’s only notable trait that she likes Marinette, which automatically makes her worthy of a miraculous after two episodes and no actual development.

Astruc is a petty frick who makes episodes that give the finger to fans of the show that have a different opinion than him. Queen Banana, Miracle Queen, and Reverser are good examples of this (Reverser did Nathaniel dirty).

Master Fu is a shit guardian. Read my post for more.

FRICK THE FEAST EPISODE. Not only did is ruin Fu as character, it ruined all the good theories as to why the order fell, and wasted the idea of a new villain being introduced or even taking over as the main antagonist! Speaking of Feast, despite the sentimonster destroying an order when he wasn’t even big, he still go beat by 2 kids even when he was supersized!

Marinette is not a good Guardian. Her ability to choose heroes does not make her capable, and just because “tradition is stupid” doesnt mean that Marinette shouldn’t be tested like others before her!

Despite the Kwami’s being ancient magical buildings, they seem to act like kids a lot, and that annoys me when in S1 they are supposed to apparently be mentors to their wielders, like how Tikki was before she was mentally de-aged.

Lila is trash and should be removed from the show. The only reasons her lies work is because the writers dumb down every other character in the show and ignore the fact the people have smartphones with google.

The “Miraculous” Ladybug spell should require both Ladybug and Chat Noir to cast, because not only does the power have nothing to do with creation, but it also “destroys” anything created by the akuma, which thematically makes no sense. Also it would place more emphasis on the two heroes being equals and “two halfs of the same coin”

On that note, Ladybug has too many powers. Not only is she the only one who can purify akumas, and can cast a spell that can fix Paris time and time again like its no one’s buisness, but she also now gets a new suit and the ability to nullify Hawkmoth’s akumas. Like COME ON! Give Chat some powers too.

Mayura’s feather’s shouldnt be able to be purified by Ladybug since they have no dark energy, and (thematically speaking) Chat should be given an ability that allows him to “vanquish” the energy in Mayura[’s feathers similar to how Ladybug can purify Hawkmoth’s akumas. At least it would develop a rivalry between Chat and Mayura, and would make Chat necassary against Shadowmoth rather than being replacable with any other hero.

The are too many temporary heroes. They should have just stuck with the 3 heroes from s2 and leave it at that. Sure, new heroes were cool, but the overuse has made the whole hero thing feel less special. It made sense for the first 3 to have them, but now it’s just like Oprah where everyone gets a miraculous. Except Gabe.

Chat Blanc was a stupid reason as to why secret identities cant be revealed, also Chat could have told LB who Hawkmoth once he returned back to normal was and the show would be over.

Hawkmoth should not be Gabriel. Frick the lore about Gabriel’s wife dying and him going evil to get her back, it makes the story feel too much like a star wars/Darth vader reference and leaves Gabriel acting bipolar, flipping from wanting to save his wife and doing this out of necessity to being a power hungry madman wanting to take over the world ( which is said in his canon music video). Having Hawkmoth be his own character means he can be an actual maniac who wants world domination and not just have villanous plot that rely on obtaining magical jewellery (perhaps doing other evil things/taking a more active role), while Gabriel being his own character means he can be a father that has become estranged from his son due to the lose of his S,O, and thus can have a plot about him reuniting with his son (I liked the end seen in Simon says, ok?)

On that same note, I think Mayura shouldn’t have been Nathalie. Considering Hawkmoth’s plans were repetitive as heck for most of the show, when I heard about the Mayura leaks back in Season 2 (when she was called “le Paon”) I was theorising that Mayura would actually being Hawkmoth’s boss, the villain the was responsible for giving him his Miraculous and the one who destroyed the Order of the Miraculous, and would take over as the main villain in season 3 due to Hawkmoth’s failures. However, that turned out not to be the case.

Not only that, but Mayuras power is a copy paste power with some modifications to make it complement Hawkmoth’s power, by basically giving his akuma’s magic pokemon.

Speaking of Hawkmoth’s power, for a miraculous that is supposed to be used for good, how can his power mind control people and make them become evil? More importantly, for a miraculous that is supposedly weaker than the main heroes of the show, having it be able to multiply and posses people to create an army is kinda strong.

Fuck the Maribat ship that the salt fandom came up with. Its trash, it was made to bash most of the Miraculous cast sans Marinette, and anyone thinks it is good are either those same salters or are the same people who think that Rey-lo and the Twilight Saga are masterpieces of romance.

Whew! I needed that vent. Hope you enjoyed it as as much as I did, and Tune in next time on the next episode of: Arlakos loses his Mind and Rants for 2 pages of writing!

#Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Ladybug Salt #Marinette salt #Adrien Salt #Everything salt #This whole show is a salt mine #Rant Time!#I love the show but I hate how its written

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phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust · 3 years

Note

do you have any theories about the india trip ?? personally, im not sure what to think about it, but i’d love to hear your thoughts !!

(Sorry its taken me so long to answer this - it just got lost in my drafts cause im an idiot lmao 🤦‍♀️)

Im not entirely certain on what I believe happened in India, if in fact anything did happen at all - but more on that later! I guess though that these are the main theories (though if you have any differing opinions/theories, feel free to discuss them!):

1. Paul rejected John’s advancements

2. John wanted to further their relationship, and Paul wanted to maintain the ‘friends with benefits’ situation they already had

3. Nothing significant happened between the two (yet something still changed in John)

I’ll try to discuss which theories I find the most convincing, compelling and substantiated - as well as offering my own opinions and hypothesis’s ^^ (discussion bellow the cut)

1. Paul rejected John’s advancements

The theory I would say im most drawn to - not the theory that im necessarily most convinced by though - is that John made a move on Paul, after a few years of pining for him, and was subsequently rejected. Its a theory that I tend to be compelled by, but I have to admit that its one I struggle to justify entirely. The problem with this theory, for me, is that this is a conclusion ive drawn based mostly off of what their relationship appeared to look like after India. It seems as though something must have happened between them to have ruptured their relationship as profoundly as it did - and because they were on relatively good terms before India*, combined with certain inferences we could draw from comments John made regarding his feelings towards Paul and their relationship, it feels as though it’s possible that he made an advance on Paul, which was rejected and thus caused the ultimate disintegration of the Lennon/McCartney relationship.

(*I mean, their relationship was always complicated and difficult - but it seems that it was okay-ish prior to India, and then just inexplicably plummeted after the trip)

But nobody (as far as im aware) has confirmed, or even really alluded to, this advancement or rejection ever having happened. And the lack of evidence substantiating the claim is a major draw back for me!

However, I do also feel as though nobody’s really come out about anything that happened in India - all ive heard is that they meditated, wrote songs, John and Cyn fought, and Ringo ate baked beans. But like, more must have happened on the trip, surely? Im not saying the absence of information regarding the trip is proof that there was a big “lovers quarrel” between John and Paul, and that everyone involved in that trip is now just sworn to secrecy or something - but like, id just like to see a biographer really investigate the holiday, and try to conclude what events might have occurred during the trip, because as of right now, with the information we have, it seems to have been, bizarrely, both a lacklustre and uneventful, yet still hugely impactful event. If the narrative of the “India trip” were to be shifted in the future in light of new information, the same way the narrative of “Let It Be/Get Back” is being changed, I wouldn’t be surprised!

2. John wanted more, but Paul didn’t

Another popular theory is that John and Paul were engaged in something of a physical affair, but in India John proposed (or perhaps demanded even) that they take their relationship further, and Paul just wasn’t compelled to do so.

Beliefs vary regarding this, based on how far you personally think their relationship went: some might say they only ever did a little drunken experimenting with one another, and that it was just a fun fling until John suggested they take it further. Others might argue that they were in fact in a committed relationship, and John wanted to go public with it - or at the very least, demanded exclusivity between him and Paul.

In entertaining this theory, im most compelled to believe that John and Paul were engaged in occasional “flings”, and perhaps by ‘68 were even acknowledging that there was some deeper and more sincere between them - but ultimately, I don’t think Paul would have ever been inclined to fully commit to John, because I think he always wanted children and a family. In addition to this, though its clear John and Paul were passionate about one another, it isn’t clear how compatible they were in the long term - and with Paul being the more grounded of the too, I suspect he would have recognised this incompatibility, which John (the idealist) might not have.

Though I admit that John could certainly be unrealistic and irrational, im not convinced that he suggested to Paul they go public with their relationship, because I think John still had a fairly strong sense of his place in popular culture, and would have still been able to recognise that if they were to “come out”, it would probably deeply and irreparably damage both their careers - as well as George and Ringo’s too - at least amongst the general public. They’d still have some ardent fans, but their following overall would have become far more niche, and the “beatlemania” would’ve worn off swiftly. Im not sure if either of them would’ve been willing to take that heat in ‘68, especially not Paul, who as I mentioned earlier, I think might have recognised the futility and incompatibility inherent in their relationship.

Then again though, John was always a little “cocky”* when it came to his sexuality - I think if an interviewer were to genuinely have enquired into his sexuality, straight up asking him “Are you bi? Gay?” I get the sense that he would have told us! Sure he’d probably have dressed the response up with a dozen quick quips and jokes, but ultimately, I think he would have given a sincere response. And so, perhaps he did feel he had the confidence, at least in India, to actually “come out”, but if Paul wasn’t willing to make this official with him, perhaps this confidence dissipated.

(*No pun intended you pervs🤦‍♂️)

Another thing to note about India is that they’d have been relatively secluded, as well as off the drugs/drinks for the most part - and this would have forced them to really reflect upon their relationship. Perhaps John saw that he wasn’t contented with Cynthia, and recognised his desire for more from Paul - and so in such a raw state of mind, I can see how he’d become so shattered if Paul were to have rejected him (that statement could relate both to the first and second theory, I feel). Perhaps John made an advance upon Paul whilst they were both sober for the first time, and that changed their relationship somehow? Just thinking out loud here!

But again, this theory overall has the same problem as the first in that, though it appears to make sense, it still lacks proof; it ultimately isn’t a substantiated claim.

3. Nothing happened between J&P, but something changed

This is probably the theory that everybody is least interested in hearing, but I still think its a pretty valid one, albeit the least dramatic (In my opinion though its still a really interesting perspective to explore though!).

Its possible that nothing of particular significance happened in India, but something still shifted in John, causing him to vilify and reject Paul. The issue with this though, is that it begs the question: why did John undergo such a significant change in India then?

Id argue that perhaps John was making very subtle and slight moves towards Paul, that Paul either ignored or didn't pick up on. Id assume that perhaps John had been hinting at this desire for awhile now, and maybe he got it into his head that in India, where him and Paul would have a lot of time to be alone and intimate, his feelings would finally be reciprocated. But then, Paul never picked up on these hints, and never made any advancements - and this broke something within John. It would fit neatly within the Yoko narrative, because it offers reasoning to the abrupt but intense attachment John formed towards her almost immediately after India - as well as explaining the sudden vilification of Paul. But I suppose that the first two theories also fit pretty neatly within the Yoko narrative, because they all relate to the same basic concept that John wanted more from Paul, and Paul didn’t - and so he tried to replace him with Yoko.

I suppose though, that the this theory overall could also be countered by making the argument that Paul also began to spiral after India, and so some occurrence presumably must have happened to Paul too. I wonder though if its possible that maybe Pauls spiralling was kind of a result of Johns? I get the sense though that Paul would need a change in his life to cause his mental health to seriously deteriorate, but I don’t feel like the same is necessarily true for John - I think John is sort of the type to spiral, irregardless of whether his life undergoes a significant change or not, because I think John was the force driving a lot of the drama and troubles throughout his lifetime. So if Johns mental well-being started seriously deteriorating, I can see this being a cause of panic and anxiety for Paul.

But something that further inclines me to believe that an actual event occurred between John and Paul is this extract from Geoff Emmericks memoir (x)(id recommend reading the entire extract, its interesting!):

‘I glanced in Paul’s direction. He was staring straight ahead, expressionless and weary. He didn’t have much to say about India that day, or any other. I sensed at that moment that something fundamental in them had changed.”’

It just really feels as though there was some confrontation between John and Paul that had to have happened to perpetuate the miscommunication later seen between them. Like if there hadn’t been some kind of confrontation, then I can’t really understand why Paul would be reluctant to speak about India, or harbour any regrets or dismay regarding the journey. Perhaps you could drill it down to the betrayal they appeared to have felt by Maharishi allegedly hitting on girls - but I feel like this was a “betrayal” mostly felt by John, I never really got the sense that Paul was deeply effected by it.

But yeah - those are the main theories I think.

Overall, I think that the third theory is probably the most substantiated claim, but I think it leaves a lot to desired. It just doesn’t feel like it totally fits together, as though theres more to the story - but I guess relationships and peoples psyches aren’t puzzles, and so not everything is always going to piece together perfectly; but I dunno.

Like I said though, the theory im most compelled by is the first. I acknowledge that it lacks evidence, but it just seems to make a lot of sense to me! But really, who knows what the hell happened in India?

If anyone else has an opinion on all this, or wants to expand upon or even suggest a new theory, feel free to! I always like hearing from you guys!

#mclennon #asks #@cinnamontoastandtears #thanks for the ask!#india #what the fuck happened in india #maharishi #pauls sexuality #discussion

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muraenide · 2 years

Note

☠♥♢⚜☀☢❀❥♒❣ drops these and rubs my hands like that one evil raccon gif, spill the tea <3

the salty af munday meme

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

Answered here!

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

Getting to know someone, who shall not be named, blocked me and my friends and then they make a post accusing us for numerous things that I didn’t even know we did, and then threatened all their mutuals that if they interacted with us they’d be blocked 😃

It’s all because of a ship they didn’t like. It was also my second day on that blog and I’ve legit have no idea what’s going on. It originated from this other mutual who is also shipping that ship and generally follows everyone, so when people saw that ship they started the whole witch hunt. I was sleeping at that time and when I woke up the dash turned to hell. Had to ask my friend what’s going on and turned out it was because of that ship (IM me for details!)

Apparently the same person also made an excel with all our urls + other people we don’t know and shared it around so everyone can block us. I only found out about that excel (and the whole story) through another mutual only like 6 months later and by that time I don’t care much anymore. You can call me whatever <inserts problematic label> and I’d say OK, you are absolutely right, have a nice day!

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

I don’t mind not practicing reblog karma as long as someone isn’t like, rbing 10 posts off my blog at once. But that’s different from feeling like you’re outright being used as a resource blog, which in case I would just sb. So far no one has rb anything much from me though, but that might be because I don’t rb much either 🙈 It also depends on the meme... When it’s just a headcanon/munday/opinion meme then there’s no reason not to send any. If it’s IC memes then it’s understandable that you might not find one of the options that is fitting for your muse and theirs, so its ok not to send any.

⚜ How many people do you not like?

A lot. 😭 And since I hold grudges I tend to remember them forever. I usually just avoid them though. If they’ve done something toxic or evil to other people then I’ll most likely have them blocked. But if I don’t like them for petty reasons that’s just a personal thing, I don’t block them, I simply don’t interact with them.

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

I’m running out of pet peeves that I’m willing to put on the dash 😂 Okay this only happened to me twice here, but I find it annoying when you put so much of effort into writing a long reply and your rp partner does not appreciate it. It makes me not want to write longer replies anymore and just half-assed something until we’ve established something more solid so we can be sure both sides are invested.

When you’ve been mutuals for a long time and there’s no signs of interest or interaction. I understand that people can be busy but neither of us are mind readers. An occasional like on posts or an ask or an ooc post to show that interest is still present is nice sometimes.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

The karma is a b1tch trend. I feel like this typically occurs with villain muses. Your muse did something bad in canon so you’re supposed to feel guilty to mine now and feel sorry and has to immediately redeem yourself! I think that’s not fair in rp, especially when we have plotted nothing, my muse hasn’t done anything to yours yet but your muse is demanding retribution without giving mine a chance or, like, ask the mun for an opinion?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

asjkdhas A lot of things. I feel like I can list them down forever. I don’t consider it losing my chill, but I can get carried away with topics I have a lot of opinions on, since I hardly write anything too personal on tumblr and/or anywhere else, so that’s not losing my chill but sometimes I forget that I’m talking to someone and keeps going on and on. I should fix that about myself 😭

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

>> ....... Yes. (IM for details).

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

Answered here!

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

From a scale of 1 - 10, 5 😂 If I’m not tired than maybe 8.

#drama cw #// freya asking all the core questions asjdhas #long post cw #𖦹 ⋆꙳ ⁄ ooc.

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collisiondiscourse · 3 years

Note

CODI CODI CODI

opinion on dynamight? :D

WKSDKEK HI AJ

okokokok if ur honestly... asking—i dont have any genuine hate for the name dynamight. its cute its fun and its very 4 year old kacchan. BUT i have this theory that it isnt his actual hero name. maybe i possibly am reaching very far and will pull a muscle with all this stretching and jumping to conclusions but... here are

Farfetched Reasons Why I Think DynaMight Isn't Bakugou's Final Name (SPOILER ALERT, duh):

1. It's too similar to his previous rejected names

We all remember how in the start of the series, Bakugou's whole naming problem stemmed from the extravagance and... overbearingness of his chosen aliases. From the most famous 'Lord Explosion Murder', the written kanji version being '爆殺王' and pronounced as 'Bakusatsuo'. In comparison, we have DynaMight: The God of Great Killing Bomb—which, taking the latter part is written '大爆殺神' in kanji and pronounced 'daibakusatsu-shin'. For a name that took maybe 4 or 5 years to FINALLY get introduced, its oddly similar to all the names that were already rejected or shot down. They even use 2 of the same kanji characters which denotes that they may even be said in the same aggressive tone like how it is in English (but take this point with a grain of salt bc i am NOT formally educated in Japanese.)

2. Narrative-wise... the timeline placement of the reveal just doesn't make sense.

I dunno about you, but in the middle of the war during the deconstruction of the pro-hero society seems like one of the weirder places to put Bakugou's hero name reveal. Especially when its something that doesn't have an immediate link or visibility to Bakugou's character aside from his personality. We've already seen that Bakugou's supposedly changed a LOT ever since his first days at UA—so I find it weird that in the MIDDLE OF HIS CHARACTER ARC and not even ten chapters after Bakugou Katsuki: Rising (where *ahem* important things occur...), we get a name like this which is awfully reminisce of Bakugo's choices pre-character development. Why make us wait so long if it was gonna be something so similar? Is the only change/nuance going to be the All Might pun? Hori-sensei may give us answers soon, but for now the timing seems incredibly out of place.

3. The other characters don't take it seriously.

Most of the other characters including the likes of Spinner absolutely do not take it seriously. Iida and multiple other actors at the scene poke criticisms at it and react in the same way class 1A did when Bakugo introduced Lord Explosion Murder. The only positive reaction being Mirio, who we all know is the human version of sunshine and puppies (and also just a really good senpai). The key reactions I wanna note are Deku's and Best Jeanist's.

- On Best Jeanist's reaction

BJ (its for shortening purposes i SWEAR) is seen to depict a lacklustre, disinterested, and almost even dissappointed response. As Katsuki's mentor figure and someone that was implied to have inspired Bakugou to reconsider his hero name—I find it odd that he was depicted to disapprove of it so offhandedly. His arrival and participation at the war was something I very much looked forward to due to the amount of things that Bakugou might do now that he knew Best Jeanist was still alive a la shounen anime 'I'm empowered by my mentor figure' style. I think that if Bakugou were to do a name reveal, he would've chosen something that Best Jeanist would immediately recognize as something resultant of Bkg's character development.

- On Izuku Midoriya's reaction (or lack thereof)

I won't elaborate bc it will actually take me weeks to formulate an essay, but Deku is currently at the epicenter of a lot of Katsuki's character development. From One for All to the tear jerking panels of Chapter 285, we know that Deku inexplicably is the no. 1 person that wants to know Bakugou's hero name.

So why isn't he there?

We don't get to see Deku's reaction to Bakugous huge name reveal because he's too far and too busy fighting. You'd a thunk that if it was so significant and powerful, Deku's reaction would come out. While it IS possible that Deku's reaction is on another chapter entirely bc he's just THAT excited about it, I highly doubt Bakugo would announce such a thing where Deku could not hear.

But Codi! you say, arms sore and floppy from reaching so far with me. Why? Why would Bakugou make and announce a fake name then?

Well. Prepare your ankles because I am about to jump to some even FARTHER conclusions.

First of all, they ARE in the middle of a war. Bakugou, while heavily injured, still is smart enough to see what's happening and be able to parse when they're on the losing end. Mans is a 4/5 on the intelligence rank if I'm not mistaken, and it's pretty obvious the heroes are losing. The whole hero society has been absolutely turned up on its head with the Todoroki Family Drama, and I think that Deku jumping back into the fight is the best indication that Katsuki will follow suit. I think that Deku knew about the hero name DynaMight before hand, ESPECIALLY because it sounds like something only he and Kacchan could come up with (the All Might pun is just TOO good ok). I think that there's a reason Bakugou's okay with Deku being so far away when he reveals it

But what of it?

I think that to understand Bakugou's decision to name reveal now involves taking a look into the actual name DynaMight/Dynamite.

Dynamite, as we know, is an explosive made from nitroglycerine and stabilizers in 1867. The reason it became so popular was that it helped with a lot infrastructure projects to speed up construction and mining. It was available soon as well in the civillian market because of its powerful but controlled explosions. Instead of a fiery explosion that burned for extended periods of time, nitroglycerine was more of a one and done kind of explosion.

Later, it was used as a military weapon that caused mass destruction and a sudden interest for innovations in explosives. Alfred Nobel, who's name you now might recognize, was ashamed of his past inventions and alias as 'The Angel of Death' (Bakusatsuo, anyone?). He hated the fact his explosives had been used to cause war and death and thus created the Nobel Peace Prize so that his name would be associated with Peace and Hope instead.

If you're picking up what I'm reaching really hard for... then you already know.

The reason I think Bakugou faked DynaMight as his hero name is to act as an actual sort of Dynamite in the tide of the war. I think this was, in actuality, a code word or even tactic of some sorts for an actual plan he had with Deku. Now that he's both revealed his name AND joined the fight again, the attention of all the villains and actors (including us, the audience) are on him and him only. Because 'Dynamite' is a controlled explosion. Because 'Dynamite' works once nefore its done its job. Because Bakugou mfing Katsuki does NOT wanna be associated with his past decisions and history of destruction and wants his name to be a symbol of winning and saving.

A symbol of peace.

Or. maybe its actually just DynaMight. idk. who knows? Maybe Im just really really really really deep in denial.

Thanks for reading!

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ifyouseekay468 · 3 years

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what do YOU personally think the teenagers (mcr) lyrics are about my friend ? like i keep thinking about them but im not sure im going somewhere

okay, ive answered this ask twice on mobile and each time my phone deleted it, so here I go, the FINAL version of this post

It's been a hot minute since I listened to teenagers so I decided to do a quick run-through of the lyrics, and while Gerard&Co were raised catholic the lyrics seem to REEK of protestant trauma, so that's what I'll be going off of, but I'm pretty sure the two denominations overlap here. The first verse is about kids in youth group, Christian GirlsTM especially, who are put there to pressure you into being "normal" into "cleaning you up with the lies in the book" (bible), although the pastor is the one giving the teaching THESE are the people who will get you to BELIEVE, who will get you to lie to yourself, who will get you to church camps that on some level utilize brainwashing techniques, and will DESTROY you with the idea that you're "Just one of them, and just need to change everything about yourself and fake your way through every last sermon to be just a part of the gang",

The part about sleeping with a gun and keeping an eye on you is about two things: one, about the idea that God can see all your thoughts, that THINKING about "sin" (ie; fantasizing about sex) is as bad as COMMITTING sin (which is fucked up entirely on its own because fantasy is SO FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM REALITY and that is a CRUCIAL aspect of sexual expression in order to safely engage in sex), AND the fact that these kids will pretend to be your friend, will prod you into doing things with them, into telling them things about yourself all the while making you feel like "part of the group" when really they're just blabbing either to religious leaders, or are ostracizing you and bullying you behind your back.

"The drugs never work"

This in my opinion points to the fact that this song is specifically about being QUEER in a christian culture. It is common for trans people to turn to drugs or psychedelics in an area that has little to no access to gender affirming care, or acceptance because they both change reality and disconnect one from the body that is causing their dysphoria. It can also help burn away the guilt, so to speak.

The methods of keeping you clean is about two things: one, about purity culture, no smoking, no drinking, no friends who drink, no sex, no porn, no masturbation, no impure thoughts. The second, is the way they're able to subtly manipulate you into hiding yourself, into lying to yourself, into forcing yourself to the point of death into being cishet. They're keeping you clean not just from the vices of addiction, but the vices of the flesh, the vice you can't escape because it's a part of you from the day youre born. On a darker note, this could also be referring to c*nversion th*rapy, given this second interpretation of the lyrics

"Ripping your head and aspirations to shreds," Is again about two things in my opinion: both the idea of "losing yourself to God's will" that usually leads one to losing their identity and getting depression and fucked up mental health, and the "shift" that happens at church when you reach a certain age. You know the kind, right? You're four years old, and church is FUN! You get to go to this big room and sing and dance on stage with all your friends! You get to play GAMES! You get to talk to the ~cool teenagers~ who are ~Just like you~ and ~think youre a "cool kid"~, you have ~best friends~ who will be with you like Jesus and the 12! but then, one day, something happens, something SHIFTS. maybe the Sunday school teacher leaves, maybe there's a new family at church, maybe the church changes buildings. Maybe none of that has to do with any of it, all you know is that now things are forever different. Church isn't fun anymore. The kids classes are repetitive, they're bribing you into memorizing bible verses with money, they DONT reward critical thinking or analysis, but they do call you smart, that's because they dont want SMART kids they want OBEDIANT ones. You have no choice but to stat going to REAL church. Suddenly, your best friends are not your best friends. Suddenly they're avoiding you. Suddenly they're lying to you. Suddenly you're too... well they don't know the word yet but "gay" for them...

"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me"

This is what youth group does to you, it isolates you from your entire generation because there are few people your age and a whole lot older than you, and everyone is so much DIFFERENT from you for some reason, but neither of you know why, not yet anyways. This makes you distance yourself from teenagers, because you can't SEE yourself as a teenager, because youre nothing like other teenagers.

"They could care less as long as someone will bleed,"

This is the martyr complex that permeates youth culture like the smell of wine, the problem? these kids love to make a show of themselves and their martyrdom, but they're unwilling to martyr themselves, so what do they do? They throw someone else to the wolves and take the glory. They ostracize and eliminate the unique in the name of preserving their faith. They convert and convert and god help anyone who doesn't want to convert.

"So darken your clothes and strike a violent pose"

This is about deconversion, how the moment you leave the church you never want to see another cross till the day you die, that you want to avoid christians of all costs because you don't want them To drag you back into the pit that devoured you. So you do anything and everything you can to make yourself repulsive to Christians, which actually coincides with your indulgence of mundane activities previously considered as "sin"

"Maybe they'll leave you alone but not me,"

There's a different between a cishet ex Christian and a queer ex christian, and that difference is that a cishet atheist is more likely to be left alone than a queer one, especially a queer one whose whole demeanor screams "Christians be gone," that shit is like... it summons christians faster than free winter jam tickets! They swarm to you frothing at the mouth with holy water waiting to either convert you or exorcise you into purity, depends on if you want them or not. Again, you don't even have to be OPENLY gay, they can TRACK this shit. it's like fucking... INSTINCT or something.

"The boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick, you're never gonna fit in much kid,"

as alluded to above, this lyric is about how, even from a young age, BEFORE youth group, this toxic culture kind of develops. ESPECIALLY around christian girls. They don't have the vulgarity of slurs, but they can make up for it with slang like "tomboy" "nancyboy" "too boyish" "a sissy" "Weird" etc, youre NEVER going to fit in, because the moment that "shift", from fun games and songs to Real Church, occurs, you have a target on your back.

"But if youre troubled and hurt what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did,"

This is probably a gun. But that's a tad too boring for my taste. If you were raised protestant you KNOW that being an ex protestant, after the craziness of evangelicalism, you would not hesitate to burn down your old church. It could be a secret tattoo, top surgery scars, hell maybe even nipple clamps. Whatever it is, it's symbolic of revenge. I know that anytime I wore my labrys necklace to church I would always hide it under my shirt. I hid books and CDs under there too. Again, it's about revenge, it's about breaking free, gun or no gun, the point is getting out and getting back at them.

and thats pretty much my take on the song. Again, this is not about artist intent this is just what the lyrics reminded ME of personally (as you can see from the over biographical bullshit I wrote), I'm always open to contradicting interpretations though as I always have like 2+ interpretations of a song or book! I never really saw the song through the lens of youth group specifically but when I went over the lyrics again in retrospect it all seemed to really click (pun not intended) well! Thanks for the ask!

#anon #okay to rb #religious trauma #ex christian #religious trauma syndrome #ex baptist #ex protestat #apostate #MCR #mcr #my chem #my chemical romance #the black parade #welcome to the black parade #gerard way #ray toro #frank iero #Mikey way

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transsexualhamlet · 3 years

Text

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #rowan screams into the void #rowan views moriarty #sherlock holmes

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tenshindon · 3 years

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if i think about tien fretting over chiaotzu and yamcha’s safety one more time i think i might explode so For Once i’m writing out my thoughts in the main part of the post :)))) under the cut of course :))))))

We all know that Tien’s concerned over Chiaotzu’s well-being all the time, like that’s a defining part of their relationship. Even when they’re already dead Tien’s still horrified at the prospect of Chiaotzu dying during their spar with Piccolo. However it isn’t until Resurrection F that we’re given a notice that Tien’s concerned over Yamcha as well. Whether this was a development exclusive to Super or it’s just been a background thing that’s only now manifesting in the subtlest of ways, we will never know <3 Either that or my memory of Everything Ever is very hazy <3 however I will talk about it anyways because my brain is decaying as we speak because holy shit

Like through Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, we repeatedly see Yamcha extending his heart out to Tien: Yamcha repeatedly pleading with Tien to reconsider learning the mafuba, Yamcha granting Tien reassurance before he goes off to fight Tao and subsequently understanding Tien needs time alone after the fight, Yamcha wishing to stay with Tien and Chiaotzu in the afterlife, and so on. From these instances alone, we know that Yamcha is certainly more open about his affection and care towards his friends (which is a whole post I can make on its own, Yamcha’s incredibly emotionally intelligent and it’s so good).

However this type of care isn’t exactly reciprocated towards Yamcha- or not as obviously, anyways. Which isn’t all too surprising; pardon Chiaotzu and especially by Z, Tien’s very reserved and generally just keeps to himself and Chiaotzu.

However, as aforementioned, Tien remarks that he left Yamcha and Chiaotzu behind away from the fight. It’s a rather innocuous line when you think of it: on the surface, Tien’s just clarifying- well, he just left Yamcha and Chiaotzu behind because he feels it’s too dangerous for them. But then you have to ask the question: since when did Tien have authority over what Yamcha did? And why was Yamcha so willing to listen? Was Yamcha just not clued in on what was happening and Tien figured he wouldn’t tell him?

Chiaotzu is understandable; despite Chiaotzu being just five years younger than Tien and thus being in his early 40′s by Super, Tien still treats him like a younger brother and as his guardian. So when he so casually adds Yamcha to this- to just so naturally say “I left Chiaotzu and Yamcha behind. The danger seems too much for them,” it just really makes you think a bit. Because Tien made a conscious decision to leave Yamcha behind for his well-being.

In this instance Tien is putting Yamcha on the same- or at least similar level as Chiaotzu, someone we’re all very well aware that he would literally kill someone for, even if that someone is himself. The meta explanation for this could very well just be Toei didn’t want to bother giving Yamcha and Chiaotzu anything to do during the movie, and since they were already perceived as the weakest among the cast it was much easier to leave them out of it entirely (though that’s a rant for another day). The issue that arises however is that Toei accidentally (or maybe intentionally) adds a layer to Tien and Yamcha’s relationship, or at least shows us that Tien does care about Yamcha’s safety and shows some type of growth to Tien. As I talked about before, Tien is reserved and doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve- so for an action like this to occur on his part, it demonstrates a great leap in his development as a person and opening up.

And the thing about this is that it’s not entirely out of Tien’s character to leave people behind to protect them- it’s completely in character, in a way. During the Saiyan Saga, Tien initially attempts to dissuade Chiaotzu from attending the Saiyan fight, forming a similar excuse as that it would be too dangerous for him. With an instance like this, it shows us that if Tien isn’t confident he can protect Chiaotzu on the battlefield, the most he can do is make sure he’s at home and assuredly safe. He does this again during the Cell Saga by leaving Chiaotzu at Roshi’s abode, once again asserting that it would be too dangerous for Chiaotzu.

During Z Tien doesn’t show this type of concern towards Yamcha, which isn’t wrong or even irrational. Amidst Z, Yamcha was more than capable of taking care of himself and looking after his own back; Tien didn’t reason it would make sense for him to look after him. Not only that, but Tien and Chiaotzu’s relationship is just seemingly more natural to him: he’s known Chiaotzu since he was a child, it makes sense for his care to be more open and at the ready. Tien knows Chiaotzu and his boundaries, and vice versa.

The important thing about Tien though, as I already mentioned right- he’s reserved. Coupled with the fact he was raised by Shen and Tao of all people, it’s probably hard for him to make deep connections with people, let alone traditionally express care. That’s why Chiaotzu is such an anchor for him: he’s really all he has at the end of the day, if not himself. And he’s already demonstrated he’d rather die than live without his brother.

Shifting to Yamcha, it’s... a topic that really should be touched on more. When Yamcha dies during the Saiyan Saga, the anime offers a particular reaction shot on Tien. It’s not much all things considered, but it does allow the viewer to be able to identify that Yamcha’s death had somewhat of a significant impact on Tien specifically, as he’s the only one with an isolated reaction shot (which is especially telling considering Krillin was friends with Yamcha longer and logically would be more devastated and more deserving of a singular shot. He gets this, however by actually checking on Yamcha’s body but I could touch on that whole topic another time). Later on in the Cell saga, Tien is subjected to watching Yamcha die (or be on the precipice of dying) again via Dr. Gero; Tien is the first of the Z Fighters to show up to the scene, thus giving us another Tien-specific reaction shot.

Obviously, Tien’s reactions to Yamcha and Chiaotzu differ severely; we’ve already gone over why Chiaotzu has a greater bond to Tien, and despite the friendship Yamcha and Tien have been able to build over the years it would be near impossible for Yamcha to ever be totally on the same level as Chiaotzu. But at the very least and looking at the Resurrection F dialogue, Yamcha’s deadly experiences have had a lasting impact on Tien.

It wouldn’t be improbable to assume Tien suffered from guilt from Chiaotzu dying during the Saiyan Saga- he even warned Chiaotzu about coming along, so being helpless to protect his brother as he watched him be bashed before he ultimately kills himself could have been certainly traumatizing. Chiaotzu’s death in the Saiyan Saga, in my opinion, is more devastating than his King Piccolo death.

Against King Piccolo Chiaotzu was killed swiftly, and he was at least able to leave a body behind. Of course, there definitely comes feelings of guilt at the fact Tien was the one who instructed Chiaotzu to get into danger in the first place- which is probably why he’s more open to the idea of letting Chiaotzu sit a fight out in the future. During the Saiyan Saga, Chiaotzu is thrashed over and over again and rammed against mountains while Tien is found in a similar position of being physically incapable of protecting him. The whole display definitely lasts much longer than the King Piccolo incident, and it’s far more agonizing as Chiaotzu telepathically communicates with Tien during this. All for it to culminate in Chiaotzu uselessly sacrificing himself, Tien even hallucinating Chiaotzu amidst delirium.

Tien best shows his care through action and protecting those he loves- he’s just incapable of verbally saying he cares and thus best does it through service. For Tien to implicitly order Yamcha to stay away from the fight with Chiaotzu, it shows us that he harbors similar feelings of fear, guilt, and care that he does towards Chiaotzu towards Yamcha as well. Tien does his best to keep Chiaotzu away from fights because he’s afraid of losing him again because he wasn’t strong enough to protect him- it’s a fair-enough bet to wager this fear extends towards losing Yamcha as well.

Which not only makes Tien’s underwhelming reaction to Earth blowing up so fuckinnnn aggravating like oh my god like fucking he actually kept his loved ones behind and they still died can you imagine the fuckin turmoil and angst jesus christ im going insane Also this is why I needed a fucking scene of these three knuckleheads talking about chiaotzu and yamcha staying behind like toei im begging you throw me a bone LMAOOOO

#snap chats #long post #i hate being so shit at words but yeah holy shit im going insane #this shit has fucked me up for motnhs #and it makes me so upset with how its handled- or how it isnt rather #like theres SO much to unpack #again im not very good at words and ive probably repeated myself or like #everything might be incoherant as fuck #all that matters tho is if my homie gets it :)#i will find that out in four hours when she wakes up #this honestly turned more into an overview of chiaotzu and tien's relationship??#i dont even know what the focus was here fuck dude #again this is literlaly just me RAMBLING #god help me make a coherant thought #i might touch this topic again when like. i know how to fucking WRITE #but yeah #i hope everyone nkows im dying inside because this shit is like #like holy FUCK dude jesus CHRIST #ok bye dont look at me #im not proofreading this any more im tired of looking at this #no one's going to even read it who cares we outtie baby #i feel like i want to say so much more but jesus chrit im so bad at words #i really just cannot express to you guys how impotrant this is to me????#or at least how interesting it is to me

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