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justagalwhowrites · 5 months

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Yearling - Ch. 27: Found

You try to figure out what you want. Joel and Ellie go on patrol.A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-26 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst. CLEARLY. It's me. Homophobia. Smut-adjacent. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only

Length: 11.3k (THIS IS GETTING TO BE A PROBLEM I'M SO SORRY)

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Late August, 2027

“You’re making this hard on purpose,” Ellie’s nose scrunched as she held her guitar.

You laughed.

“Promise, Kiddo, I’m not.”

“Sometimes I really don’t like you, you know,” she grumbled. You snorted. “I’m serious! Swear you make me do shit the hard way because you fucking enjoy watching me struggle…”

“You learn better when you do it yourself and do it the hard way,” you shrugged, leaning back against a post of your porch. You stretched a leg out onto the step below and picked a little at your guitar. “You’ll never learn if I just give you all the answers.”

“Yeah yeah,” she muttered, leaning to the side to add more of her disorganized scrawl to her notebook. “Swear you didn’t have to work this hard at shit…”

“I started a lot younger than you,” you replied, picking up the pace on your guitar and adding slaps and pops, no real rhyme or reason to it, just what your fingers felt like doing. “Everything is easier when you start young. And hey, you’ve got a leg up on any asshole who tries to learn when they’re my age.”

“Because you’re a dinosaur?” She looked up at you from her notebook, a small smirk on her face.

“Nah,” you replied. “They’d been dead like three years when I was born, I’m not THAT old.”

She laughed and went back to her notes as you kept playing, looking out down the path from your yard to the road beyond.

It was sweltering hot and you’d never been more thankful for a breeze or the fact that it was your day off from the stables. The hair that had pulled loose from your braids stuck to your skin and you’d been sweating all day, waking up with your sheets balled up at the foot of your bed and your tank top damp even with the ceiling fan on. You hadn’t even put on jeans that day, throwing on one of the few dresses that had made their way into your closet in the almost two years you’d been in Jackson. The first you’d taken when Maria mentioned seeing one she thought would fit you, not long before things fell apart with Joel. You’d intended to wear it to the Tipsy Bison on a night there was dancing once it was warmer, opening the door to Joel when you were dressed like what your mother would call “a proper lady.” You’d pictured dancing with him, his hand sliding up the inside of your thigh when you sat down to have a drink until you couldn’t take it anymore and you practically dragged him home, riding him with the skirt bunched up around your waist the second you were in the door.

That had never happened. That dress stayed tucked safely away at the back of your closet, not able to bring yourself to part with it and the image of that night with him.

The other dress was perfect for days like today, long and loose and thin cotton that made the oppressive heat of late summer tolerable. Even if Ellie had looked at you like you had two heads when she saw you in the damn thing.

You didn’t mind, though. You were just glad that you had gotten to the point that you liked spending time with Ellie again. That you’d started feeling much of anything at all.

The first month you got back was hazy. You didn’t really leave your house at first, not able to contribute much at the stable and not seeing a reason to move otherwise.

You weren’t entirely sure how many days passed before there was the first knock at your door.

It wasn’t an Ellie knock. The sound didn’t carry her chaotic energy or almost audacious nature. Instead, it was hesitant but sturdy and firm without being forceful or insistent. You stayed flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling of the closet for a minute to see if the knock would come again. It didn’t. You stared at the ceiling a while longer but, eventually, you had to pee. You forced yourself to move and, on your way back from the bathroom, passed your front door. You hesitated for a moment before you went and opened it, to see if whoever knocked had left a note.

On your porch was a box filled with crackers and jerky and fruit and carrots and celery. All things you could eat without needing to cook or, really, do anything at all. You knew it was from Joel, even though it hadn’t sounded like his knock, either. There was no one else who would have brought it because no one else knew why you were locked inside your home. But he was no where to be seen. He didn’t leave a note.

A few days later, you forced yourself to go to the stable to check on the horses. The fillies and the colt weren’t making much progress without you - you’d have to probably start nearly from scratch with them once your arm healed - but you were able to feel somewhat useful, brushing horses down, checking on their hooves to see when they’d need to be shoed, just giving them some love and attention. That helped you feel a little more like yourself.

Ellie started coming by again a few days after that. She showed up one afternoon with a CD and a sandwich from the mess hall, marching into your living room like nothing had happened, complaining about another kid in town and how Joel wasn’t going to let her patrol with anyone but him for a while.

“I could get partnered with Dina but no,” she drew the last word out, sprawled on your couch, rolling her eyes as she did. “The old man is convinced I’m going to drop dead if he’s not looking out for me for five minutes…”

“I’m sure he’ll ease up once he sees how capable you are,” you said, sitting on the loveseat and picking up the CD case she’d brought with her. The Clash this time. “Mick Jones and Joe Strummer, nice choice. Why do you want to go out with Dina, anyway? I thought not everything was about girls…”

“Shut up.”

“Nah.”

You were’t sure if you were really doing better or if you’d just found a way to push the hurt down inside yourself again. You weren’t sure there was a way to recover from this, from the idea that you’d probably never see your child again. Clinging to the possibility felt so necessary but so foolish. You weren’t sure if it was reason or denial but it didn’t really matter. You weren’t sure you could live without that possibility dulling the jagged edges of your grief and pain.

The boxes of food made regular appearances on your porch. You never saw Joel.

When you were close to getting your cast off, Ellie came by your house but didn’t shove her way inside the way she usually did. Instead, she hovered on your porch.

“OK don’t be mad,” she said, a serious look on her face.

“Off to a great start,” you replied.

She glared at you for a second before pressing on.

“Joel sent me with a message,” she said. “He wanted me to tell you that the movie tonight was something called Ever After and that he thought you would like it and that he wasn’t going to be there so you should go. And to not be mad. I think you shouldn’t be mad, too, by the way.”

“Not mad,” you smiled a little. “I just… I don’t know…”

“Come on, Bambi,” Ellie said, dropping some of her pretense now. “Dina’s going with Jesse and I’ve never seen it and I really don’t want to be stuck sitting by them while they suck face.”

You sighed, looking back over your shoulder in the direction of Joel’s house. You found yourself looking that way a lot.

“Alright,” you said after a moment, looking back at Ellie. “I’ll go. But only to save you from your crush…”

“I’m going to ignore that last part and just be happy you’re going,” she said, a little smug. “Even though you’re annoying about it.”

“So annoying,” you agreed, stepping into your boots, turning on the lamp and following her out the door.

It was strangely easy to adjust to being around the people of Jackson again. Ellie gave you something to focus on, busy trying to distract her from the Dina and Jesse acting exactly like you remembered some of your friends in high school acted with their boyfriends.

“What’s this movie about, anyway?” Ellie asked as the two of you settled in toward the back of the room.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it,” you said. “But I think it was like Cinderella.”

Ellie looked at you and made a face.

“Like the fairy tale.”

“Yup,” you replied. She stared at you and you laughed a little. “What?”

“I’m just trying to picture you liking a fucking fairy tale.”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms as best you could with one in a cast.

“What?” She teased. “Don’t tell me you like some stupid story where love solves everyone’s problems…”

“What’s wrong with that?” Julie, the woman you’d seen a few times at the Tipsy Bison and when she went out on patrol, appeared alongside Ellie, a large bowl of popcorn in her hands.

“It’s bullshit,” Ellie said. “There’s a reason they’re stories for little kids.”

“Maybe you just haven’t loved that way yet,” she smiled a little before nodding to the chair on the other side of you. “Seat taken?”

You hoped you didn’t just stare at her for too long. People didn’t just talk to you in Jackson, not without a reason, let alone try to sit by you. You weren’t entirely sure what to do with it.

“All yours,” you said, tugging your legs in close so she could pass you and sit down. She settled in beside you and smiled, holding out the bowl.

“Thanks,” she said. “Popcorn?”

“Sure,” you said after a moment, taking some with your good hand. “Thank you.”

“Course,” she smiled a little bigger in a lopsided, almost cocky way. “What’s the point of popcorn if you don’t share it?”

The movie was good. You’d only seen it once or twice before the outbreak but you’d liked it then, too. Cinderella was smart and capable, the prince was handsome and kind and you liked to imagine the way life was in that period of time.

“OK so that wasn’t terrible,” Ellie said as you headed out with her and Julie.

“Told you,” you teased a little.

“No one told me that sometimes the girls in fairy tales got to be badasses,” she replied. “I might have liked the stories more then!”

“The girls are always badasses,” Julie said. “They just try to hide it, scares the men otherwise.”

Ellie snorted.

“Sounds right.”

You reached Joel’s. There was a light on in his living room and you felt the familiar tug in you to go inside and join him. Just let yourself in the front door and settle in like it was yours.

“I’m gonna go tell the old man that his taste in movies isn’t totally awful,” Ellie said, heading up the front walk. “Still want help tomorrow at the stable?”

“Stalls ain’t gonna muck themselves,” you replied and held up your still healing arm. “And this isn’t much help.”

“Ugh,” she groaned good naturedly. “Night!”

You watched until she made it to the front door - not that the precaution was really necessary here but it made you feel better - and you turned to Julie, your good hand stuffed in your pocket.

“I’m that way and to the left,” you said. “So…”

“Mind if I join you?” She asked. “Nice night, figure I’ll take the scenic route.”

You looked at her for a moment.

“Sure,” you shrugged. “Not much to see though.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” she smiled one of those lopsided smiles and fell into step beside you, walking a little slower than you and you slowed down to match her pace. You looked ahead. “So, how’ve you been doing? Don’t see you at the Bison much anymore.”

“Fine,” you shrugged. “Just haven’t felt like going out.” You looked over at her and had the passing thought that she was pretty. Young, with long, dark hair and bright eyes and full lips.“How about you?”

“Oh you know,” she waved you off. “Same old, same old. The berries are coming into season though, have you been to check out the orchards and stuff?”

“I’ve ridden past them,” you said. “Haven’t exactly spent time there, though.”

“You should!” She brightened at that, even more than she already was. The two of you came to a stop at your front walk. “Think you’d like it. You should come with me sometime, it’d be fun.”

“Yeah, maybe,” you smiled a little tightly. “This is me, so…”

“Nice place,” she smiled back, looking more genuine than yours felt. “Well, whenever you want to check it out, let me know. Hope to see you around.”

“You too,” you said, standing there awkwardly for a moment before turning and heading up the walk and into your house.

You went to the mess hall the next morning for breakfast. Dinner, too. And soon, your cast was off and you were going there for most meals, even if it was just to grab something to bring home or go to the stables. The food boxes stopped showing up on your porch.

Instead, you’d come back from the stables and find new guitar strings waiting for you there or a CD that you didn’t have or a copy of Titanic on VHS, the one that took two tapes and you had to get up halfway through to change it.

You’d told Joel he should move on. You weren’t sure if you really wanted him to - you doubted you’d be able to stomach seeing him with someone else - but you didn’t want him to be alone, either. You didn’t want to drag him down with you just because you couldn’t separate his past from your own.

“OK so I think I have it,” Ellie said, pulling you out of your head and making your fingers still. “Can you look?”

She shoved the notebook your way and you leaned over your guitar to look at it, fingering the chords but not playing them.

“Yeah,” you said after a minute. “I think that’s probably closer to what you’re looking for, give it a go.”

You pushed the notebook back towards her and she set her guitar on her lap, adjusting it for a second before playing it. You nodded along, watching as she scrunched her face, getting more and more frustrated before she groaned.

“That’s not right either,” she leaned her head back on the post at her back. “Song writing shouldn’t be this hard. This is bullshit.”

“The shit that’s worth doing is hard, kid,” you shrugged. “Why don’t you try thinking about it again for a minute. Do you want it to feel urgent or slow and confident? Both are strong but they’re going to have different vibes.”

She sighed and closed her eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“Well,” you shrugged, settling back with your guitar. “Figure out how you’re feeling and what you want the song to say about it. It’ll come to you.”

You went back to playing as Ellie picked her notebook back up, gnawing on the end of her pen.

“I didn’t know you played!”

You stopped and your head shot up from its place on the post to see Julie standing at the end of your walk, her hands in the pockets of her shorts, her thick hair piled on top of her head, her arms looking sculpted and strong in her tank top.

“Sorry,” she laughed. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Can I come up?”

“Um…”

“Sure!” Ellie said before you had a chance to really think about it. Julie reached over the short fence and unlatched the gate before opening it and coming up to your porch, sitting on the bottom step so she was looking up at you and Ellie.

“Didn’t know there was a guitar club in town,” she said, folding one leg into her chest and looping her arms around her shin. “Don’t stop on my account! What song was that?”

“Oh, that wasn’t anything,” you said, running your fingers up and down the neck of the guitar. “Just… fidgeting, really.”

“Yeah, Bambi is fucking awesome,” Ellie said. “Best guitar player in town, easy.”

“Ellie,” you gave her a look but she ignored you.

“Seriously, you name it and she can probably play it,” she said. “She knows so much about music it’s insane.”

“Not really,” you cut her off. “I just like music so I learned about what I liked, that’s all…”

“Oh bullshit,” Ellie rolled her eyes. “She’s a human juke box, try her.”

“Do you mind?” Julie asked, looking at you with her brows raised. Her eyes were bright green and almost sharp.

“As long as you’re prepared to be disappointed,” you shrugged. “I can try.”

Ellie scoffed and Julie ignored her.

“I remember this song from when I was a kid, just before the outbreak,” she said. “It actually took me a while to track down the name of it after and you might think it’s silly but… I’m With You? Know that one?”

You smiled a little.

“I know that one,” you said, settling the guitar on your lap. “Haven’t tried to play it before, though. Avril’s not really my wheelhouse, so… go easy on me.”

You couldn’t remember exactly how the song started but you remembered the chorus and you remembered a verse from there. The music just trailed off at the end, not really remembering how the song ended either, and you awkwardly drummed your fingers on the body of the guitar when you stopped playing, Ellie and Julie both watching you.

“Right, well,” you said. “Like I said, not really my wheelhouse and…”

“That was fantastic!” Julie cut you off, her broad smile making the freckles on her cheeks rise.

“Told you,” Ellie said. “She’s the best.”

“Well I figured that much,” Julie rolled her eyes a little dramatically but smiled that cocky smile as she did before looking back to you again. “Thanks for letting me put you on the spot.”

“Any time,” you said before you really had a chance to think about it. She smiled a little bigger.

“Hey, so, I hadn’t meant to break up the jam session,” she said. “I was actually coming by to see if you wanted to come with me tomorrow afternoon, I was going to head out to the orchards for a bit. You’re welcome to join, get outside for a bit. It’s nice, promise.”

“Um,” you said for what felt like the millionth time that day, trying to picture the stable schedule. “I think that would work, I have some patrols leaving that morning but should be able to step away for a bit in the afternoon…”

“Perfect,” she said, getting up. “I need to get down to the Bison but I’ll meet you at the stables tomorrow?”

“That’s where I’ll be,” you smiled in a way you hoped was genuine. “Looking forward to it.”

“It’ll be fun,” she said. “I’ll see you then. Bye, Ellie!”

“Bye Julie,” she dragged her name out and gave you a look. You seriously considered kicking her. Julie laughed and started down your walk, only making it halfway to the gate before turning around and walking backwards, looking back at you with her hands in her back pockets.

“Nice dress, by the way,” she said. “It works for you. See you tomorrow!”

You went back to messing with your guitar as you tried to not watch her walk up the lane. Ellie was far less delicate, craning her neck until Julie turned the corner.

She spun to face you and swatted your leg.

“Oh my GOD,” she half whispered, half yelled at you.

“What?” You asked, fingers stilling on the strings.

“That!” She said. “All that fucking flirting!”

“Ellie…”

“Oh come ON,” she cut you off. “You may as well have fucked right on your porch, Jesus Christ…”

“OK I will say this again,” you said, setting your guitar down beside you. “Who is and isn’t between my legs? Not your business.”

“Well that’s just not true,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re the one who fucked Joel and made it my business.” You sighed and went to reply but she held up a hand. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather you two work your shit out and get back together. But if you’re not going to figure it out then you shouldn’t just be miserable and lonely forever and Julie is hot as fuck.”

“Ellie!” You hissed.

“What!” She replied, her brows raised. “She is!”

“Jesus…”

“Just saying!” She said, her hands up in mock surrender. “Julie’s cool. And hot. I think you’d have fun. And you should at least try to have some fun sometimes instead of just being miserable all the time.”

“What if I like being miserable.”

“Just don’t chicken out,” Ellie said, ignoring you and picking up her guitar before getting to her feet. “But I’m getting hungry. Think I’ll go see what the old man is doing for dinner. You’re welcome to come along if you’d rather not be miserable with us…”

“Ellie.”

“Right, right,” she rolled her eyes. “I mean it, fucking go tomorrow. You big chicken.”

“Go home, you little brat,” you replied. She cheerfully flipped you off before heading back toward Joel’s.

You sat on your porch for a while longer, absently playing and watching as the color of the sky slowly shifted from blue to pink to deep, inky black. The darkness seemed to swallow everything, like there wasn’t anything beyond what was right in front of you. But you knew that if you walked far enough, followed the light of the north star, you’d find things beyond what consumed here and now.

It was late when you finally went inside, scrounging in your kitchen for the last of some of what Joel had brought you even though you weren’t particularly hungry. You turned on the stereo and just let whatever CD you’d put in last play, not really paying attention

You found yourself thinking about Julie. About what Ellie said about Julie.

It had been a long time since you’d had a woman flirt with you. You’d been with your fair share of women since the outbreak but flirting hadn’t really been part of it. Marisa was the first woman you’d slept with and, after Savvy came along, you stopped seeking out that kind of connection with men and kept it to strictly women. It just seemed safer. After Marisa, it had always been casual - you didn’t think you could bear another heartbreak like that - and it had always been fairly blunt. You could generally tell if they were interested in letting off some physical steam and, if they were, you had fun for a few days before they moved on.

But things with Julie reminded you of one of your first crushes, a girl who did trick riding on the same circuit as you when you were a girl. You’d first noticed Courtney when you were both 13. She was so beautiful you couldn’t help but stare at her. At first, you’d almost resented her. She was good, damn good, and she was full of charismatic smiles and she dusted glitter across her collarbones that peeked out from the top of her costume. She was exactly who your mother wished you were and, as much as you loved bronc and bull and roping, part of you wanted to be who your mother wanted you to be. You wanted to be satisfied with what she wanted for you and you wanted to be happy being who Courtney was so effortlessly. Life would be simpler and happier if you were content with that and Courtney was proof that life existed. And you wanted it.

You settled for beating her, for a while. Narrowing your eyes at her when you passed her between rounds at competitions, looking her way when you saw your scores narrowly eclipse hers on the board. You loved it. The only thing you wanted more than beating her was her.

Hell if you knew what to do with that.

In hindsight, you weren’t sure she knew, either.

The first time she’d said more than two words to you was when you’d smirked at her as you held the first place trophy. You went to the locker room after the awards ceremony and you had the place almost to yourself, most of the other girls already cleaned out. The third place winner - a girl who’s name you didn’t remember - left and it was just a few seconds later that you heard the door slam into the wall. You looked up to see Courtney stalking over to you. You could see the glitter on her collarbones and her cheeks, her eyes hot and her lips full.

“Want to tell me what the hell your problem is?” She demanded, getting so close to you that you could smell her body spray. It was almost sickly sweet and floral but on her it smelled good. “What did I ever do to you? Why do you hate me so much!”

“I don’t hate you…” you said.

“Could’ve fooled me!” She cut you off.

“Why do you care?” You snapped. “We compete, we’re not friends, who cares if I hate you?”

“I care!” She snapped back.

“Why!”

“Because I like you!” She yelled, breathless. You just blinked at her for a moment as she caught her breath, her eyes drifting to your lips. “I like you and sometimes…”

She didn’t get a chance to finish. Instead, you kissed her.

It was clumsy and deeply uncertain. You’d never kissed anyone before and you had no idea what you were doing, your hands locked tight at your sides as though touching her anywhere at all was against the rules but you were risking it, anyway. Her mouth was warm and soft and it seemed oddly wet even though that made sense when you thought about it.

After a moment you pulled back from her slightly, your eyes wide, not really believing what you’d just done.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your turn to be breathless now. “I… I don’t know…”

“Shut up,” she kissed you that time, pressing you back against the lockers, stretching up to better reach your lips, her body hot on your own. You kissed her back, trying to focus and take in everything. How she tasted, how she smelled, how her costume hugged the slight curve of her waist.

“Courtney!” Her mother’s shrill voice from the hall made her jump away from you and wipe her mouth on the back of her hand. “You about ready honey?”

“One minute!” She called back before turning to you. “Do you have a some paper?”

You just nodded and fumbled in your bag for a notebook. She turned to a random page that happened to have some history notes on it and wrote her name and number at the top. Her handwriting was soft and curved and feminine and you envied that, too. She drew a little heart next to it.

“Call me,” she said, pressing the notebook into your chest. “OK?”

“Yeah,” you said, staring at her. You couldn’t help but stare at her. “Yeah, I will.”

“Good,” she smiled. “See you next time, superstar. Maybe I’ll finish on top then.”

“Courtney!”

“Coming!” She grabbed her bag out of a nearby locker and gave you an almost sly smile before she ran out to meet her mother.

From then on, most of your time with her was flirting. In between rounds at competitions or on the phone when you were far apart, carefully crafting your words so you’d have plausible deniability with your parents but know what the other meant. You wrote each other letters when you were apart, counted the days until you got to see each other again. When you found an empty spot when you were in the same place, you ended up tangled up together, kissing and fumbling against each other, figuring out what seemed to stoke the fires deep inside yourselves in the small moments you could find for just the two of you.

That continued for just over a year when Courtney came to a tournament with a somber expression on her face. You frowned but she gave you a subtle shake of her head as she passed you and you kept quiet. It took a few hours before you were able to get her alone and she told you the truth of it. That her mom had found your letters to her - thankfully not signed so she had no idea who had written them but still obviously from another girl - and had told her daughter that she, unequivocally, would end it.

“But…” you protested, trying not to cry.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice thick. “But… she threatened to send me to one of those camps if I don’t and… I can’t go to that, OK? I can’t, I don’t think I could make it and…”

You held onto her as she cried, her tears making little rivers in the glitter on her skin.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I really… I think I…”

You kissed her before she said it.

“Me too,” you said quietly when you pulled away.

She sniffed and smiled a small smile.

“Maybe in another life, right?”

“Right,” you smiled a little back.

She dried her eyes as best she could and you watched from the stands as she gave the best performance you’d ever seen. You did the opposite. Your routine ended with a full Stroud Layout but your top foot slipped when you were getting into position and you fell off your horse, tumbling over and over yourself in the sand of the arena, the feel of it gritty in your mouth as your head spun when your body finally came to a stop.

You didn’t make the podium and your mother didn’t push you to compete again for a while. You never saw Courtney again.

You weren’t sure how to navigate things with Julie. You weren’t sure what you wanted to navigate with Julie. She was beautiful, yes. And she seemed kind and funny and smart. She seemed like someone you could have fun with and could care about.

But she wasn’t Joel. You weren’t sure you could feel like you felt for him for anyone else. It seemed silly to even try. And if you couldn’t feel like that, what was the point?

You tried to sleep but gave up eventually. After a while, you found the moose carving you’d started when you were out with Joel, looking for Savvy. It was getting closer to being done, though it was still a rough hewn thing. You weren’t sure anyone who didn’t know what it was supposed to be would realize what it was without help. But still, it felt good to make something. You let yourself be absorbed by carving it for a bit, until it felt like you’d shut your mind down enough to sleep. You set the moose down on the nightstand, arranging him so it was like he was watching you sleep, the red splotch from your blood still staining his chest.

You brought him with you to the stables the next day for something to work on when you needed the distraction. Just sitting there with your thoughts when you had downtime seemed like a bad idea.

“You’re gonna tell me all about it, right?” Ellie asked as you gave Shimmer and Ares a final once over that morning.

“I don’t need to tell you every time I hang out with someone,” you replied.

“Whatever,” she said. “Just don’t chicken out. Actually go, you need a social life…”

“What, getting sick of keeping me company all the time?” You teased, handing her the reins.

“Yeah, you’re pretty fucking boring,” she smirked a little. You snorted. “I’m serious though. Promise you’ll go.”

“I’m going,” you said, giving her a gentle shove toward the door. “Get out of here. Be safe on patrol, see you back tonight.”

“Not if you’re at Julie’s you won’t,” she waggled her eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes as you watched her lead her and Joel’s horses out of the stables.

Time dragged until that afternoon and you found yourself feeling oddly nervous, waiting for Julie to come by. You weren’t sure what time she was supposed to get there and, you realized, you didn’t know what to actually expect with any of this.

Yeah, it had felt like flirting. And Ellie seemed sure that it was. But Ellie was a kid and your recent experience in that department was so limited you really knew fuck all about it. What if you’d read the situation completely wrong? What if Julie was just a nice woman who wanted to be friends?

“Hey you,” Julie’s voice surprised you enough that it made you jump, water sloshing over the side of the bucket you were carrying to top off one of the horses. “Shit, I’m sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you…”

“You’re fine,” you said quickly, refilling a waterer and setting the bucket down.

“Now still good?” She asked. “Because I’m not in a rush, today is my day off…”

“Now’s good,” you said quickly, trying not to think too hard about what she was wearing. Her long, lush hair was softly braided and hung over her shoulder, loose strands framing her face. Her shorts were short and her legs were long and sculpted and she wore a few long necklaces that settled into the curve between her breasts. She smiled.

“Great!” She held up a bag you hadn’t noticed before. “Brought snacks. Not that we’ll need much, it’s peak berry season out there. We could eat ourselves sick and not make a dent.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you smiled a little.

“Oh, I intend to,” she smiled back.

Julie led the way out of town, smiling and chatting with the guards at the gate for a moment before heading toward the orchards just east of town.

“So why are you heading out here on your day off?” You asked, looking over at her.

“Well as I think you know, one of my main contributions to the good people of Jackson is tending bar at the Bison,” she smiled. “But that’s because I just really like drinks. I found this old cocktail book when I was a teenager and I just kind of became obsessed, I guess? There was that and these books and magazines that showed what it was like before and I wanted to do that. Have the experience of going to a bar when life was different, you know? And yeah, we make some pretty decent booze here in town - or I think we do, anyway, didn’t really get to try any before - but that’s not all it takes to make a good cocktail. I can’t make a Coke or anything but I can make the syrups and infusions and things. I like to experiment in my spare time so I come out here, pick the supplies I need, and give things a try at home before I bring my ideas into the Bison.”

“Do I get to know what you’re working on?” You asked, brows raised.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” she smirked. “But I will need a guinea pig before too long if you’re game…”

“Far be it from me to turn down a free drink,” you replied and she smiled bigger.

The orchards were, indeed, beautiful. You followed her to a particularly dense spot and she pulled a blanket out of the bag, spreading it on the ground in the shade of an apple tree.

“I won’t lie,” she said, sitting back on her hands and closing her eyes, taking a deep breath. “This is probably my favorite spot.”

“I can see why,” you nodded, drawing your knees into your chest and looking around. “It’s gorgeous here.”

“It’s quiet here,” she laughed a little. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Jackson. Way better than the QZ we were in when I was a kid. It’s a good place with good people. I love the people, truly, I do. But everyone knows everyone and knows everything about everyone and it’s so hard to have anything for yourself, you know?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “It’s a great place but… it’s definitely a lot.”

You talked a little about your pasts. You told her - vaguely, lightly - about your time before Mitchum. She told you about her time in the Denver QZ and you almost fainted when she said she was only 31 years old.

“How old were you when the world ended?” You gaped at her. “Do you even remember?”

“I was seven,” she laughed. “I remember a bit. How old were you?”

“Older than that,” you replied. “Jesus…”

“Not that old, clearly,” she said, picking a blackberry off a bush and holding it out to you. “This is a good one, you should have it.”

“Old enough,” you replied. “And if it’s good, you should have it.”

“I have them all the time,” she said, stepping close to you. You were suddenly acutely aware of the fact that you were wearing the same clothes you’d been wearing when working with the horses all day and you hoped you didn’t smell. She pressed the berry to your lips. “Try it.”

You obeyed, taking the fruit into your mouth and biting into it, the juice bursting on your tongue.

“See?” She smiled. “Told you.”

The two of you ended up back on the blanket and you stretched out on it, looking up at the clouds drifting lazily past overhead, arms bare - too hot to wear anything more than a tank top - but not feeling overly exposed. Julie lay next to you, her arm brushing your own.

“Is it weird that I sometimes don’t feel like I missed out?” She asked. You felt her adjust next to you and you glanced her way to see her lying on her side, facing you. “I mean I know there was a lot before that we don’t have now but… I dunno, I guess I still wanted to be a ballerina when the world ended. It doesn’t feel like I really gave up all that much, you know?”

“Think that has as much to do with Jackson as anything else,” you replied, adjusting so that you were facing her. “But I get that, in a way. If I’d found Jackson when I was younger, I think I’d feel the same. Shit, what I’m doing now is exactly what I grew up wanting to do. If it wasn’t for all the time in between, the end of the world would have just turned into me getting just what I wanted. Besides all the death anyway.”

“Think you’re right about the Jackson thing,” she smiled a little. “It’s a special place with good people. Like a few better than the others, though.”

“Yeah?”

She reached out and brushed some of the hair that had fallen from your braid back from your face and trailed her fingers down your cheek and your chin.

“Yup.”

She leaned in then, moving slow and holding your gaze, giving you all the time in the world to stop her if you wanted.

You didn’t.

Her kiss was soft and gentle, her lips smooth on yours. She tasted and smelled sweet and her hand went to your hip, tugging you against her.

Julie’s body was softer than you expected as she pressed against you and, in so many ways, she felt safe and comfortable there. But she felt foreign, too. You’d become accustomed to a different form on yours, one that was larger and broader and firmer.

You tried not to think about him as her kiss deepened, as your hand went to her waist and trailed over her side but stopped short of cupping her breast.

She nudged you onto your back and she settled on top of you, her chest pressed tight to yours, her hips starting to rock gently against you. You ran your hands over her back to the top of her ass but didn’t go lower, not able to shake the subtle wrongness of kissing someone and feeling someone who wasn’t Joel.

After a minute, she pulled away from you.

“I get the feeling you’re not as into this as I am,” she said, panting a little. You opened your mouth to argue but she silenced you with a look. “If I misread things, I’m really sorry. But you should know that you don’t have to fuck me just because I’m trying to fuck you.”

“You didn’t misread anything,” you said quickly.

“Good,” she smiled a little. “But… It doesn’t seem like you’re feeling this.”

You winced.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling,” you said. “But… I don’t think I’m feeling what you are.”

“Well shit,” she laughed a little and rolled off you, lying flat on her back beside you. “I really am sorry if I came on too strong or did something you didn’t want…”

You laughed a little.

“Definitely not that,” you said. “Just have… other things on my mind. And you deserve someone’s full attention.”

She turned her head to look at you and you turned yours, too.

“It’s Joel, isn’t it?” She asked. You winced a little. “Sorry, I’m not trying to dig into anything that’s not my business, it just… seemed like you guys split up a while ago so I thought it would be OK. I’m sorry.”

“No, it probably should be,” you said. “It’s got nothing to do with you, trust me.”

“Well,” she said. “At the risk of this being the most awkward hang out ever… want to help me get some raspberries?”

“Sure,” you laughed a little. “I’d like that.”

She smiled.

“Good. Me too.”

It was awkward for a bit, but by the time the two of you started back to Jackson, it was lighter. Easier. Like you’d never kissed at all.

Julie walked with you back to the stables, not too long before you were expecting patrols that weren’t out overnight to return.

“Even with everything today, I hope we can be friends,” she said. “I do actually like you. Not just because I’d like to fuck you.”

You laughed a little.

“Yeah, I’d like that, too,” you said. “I’m sorry I’m not… in the same place on the fucking front…”

“I’d rather pretend we never found that out,” she laughed a little. “Maintain some of the mystery. But, you know. If anything changes, it’s a small town. You know where to find me.”

“That I do,” you said.

She turned to leave but seemed to think better of it and turned back.

“If he’s it for you?” She said. “I think you should figure out a way to make it work. No point in wanting something and acting like you can’t have it when it’s right there, you know? And yeah, it’s not really my business and yeah, I don’t know you all that well but… something tells me you’re not going to be feeling any different anytime soon. And I don’t think he is either. Just… my two cents.”

She smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Thanks, Julie,” you said quietly. She gave your arm a squeeze.

“See you around, Bambi.”

You watched the door she left through for a few minutes after she was gone before you went back to work.

The patrols all made it back without incident, Ellie returning her and Joel’s horses. She asked how things went but you just waved her off and she deflated a bit.

“I keep trying to get some excitement around here,” she said. “You are no fucking help, you know that?”

“I am so sorry my romantic life isn’t more entertaining,” you said wryly. “I’ll work on that. Entirely for your benefit, of course.”

“Well you’re clearly not going to do it for your own.”

You just rolled your eyes as she headed back home. You stayed late at the stables. Not for any real reason, you just didn’t want to be at home alone and going to the mess hall didn’t sound like what you wanted, either. You worked on the moose carving, pleasantly surprised at the progress you’d made on him.

You ended up working on him until, almost suddenly, you realized he was done. Fully formed - or as close to it as you could get him - with four legs and jagged shapes for the antlers. But he looked like a moose, broad and steady and strong. You turned him over in your hand a few times, running your finger over the arch of his back and the curve of his neck.

“What am I going to do with you?” You said quietly, holding it up in front of you, looking where his eyes would be if he had them. The bloodstain was still crimson on his chest.

After a few minutes, you got up off the floor of the stable and did your final check for the evening before locking up behind you and heading home.

You took the long way.

It was dark but not so late that the Tipsy Bison had closed for the night, a warm glow coming from the windows. With the sun down, you were a little cold with bare arms but you didn’t mind. You walked slowly, watching the stars as you went.

You stopped at the end of Joel’s walk. The lights were out. You thought he probably went to bed early - he got tired after a patrol - but he could be at the Bison, too. Either way…

You all but crept up his walk, holding the moose tightly in your fingers. You stopped at the base of his stairs and held the rough-hewn animal in front of your face again.

“Keep an eye on him for me?” You said quietly to the wood. It didn’t say anything back. You stepped as lightly as you could up the stairs but the same step as always squeaked below you. You set the moose on Joel’s doormat before turning to go, making the step squeak again. You made it almost all the way back up the walk when the lights inside turned on and you picked up the pace.

It didn’t matter. You heard the front door open just as you turned onto the street and your eyes darted over toward him before you could help it.

“Bambi?” He called, not too loud. He was in his blue cotton plaid sleep pants and a black t-shirt that hugged his body just right, tight across his shoulders and upper arms, highlighting the soft curve of his stomach. You stopped for a moment and just gave him a tight smile before continuing on home.

When you went to bed, you found yourself looking at the spot on your nightstand where the moose had been before, part of you wishing he was still beside you.

***

“Hey. Hey Joel.”

Joel smiled a little to himself. He recognized Ellie’s tone.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Wanna hear a joke about pizza?”

He sighed, trying to sound annoyed. He wasn’t sure if it worked.

“Get the feeling you’re gonna tell me either way.”

“Eh, never mind,” Ellie said, sounding a little put out. Joel looked back at her, frowning slightly. And then she smirked. “It’s too cheesy.”

Joel groaned.

“That one’s bad, baby girl.”

“No it’s not!” She rode up alongside him even though the trail wasn’t really wide enough for that. “That was a good one!”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “It was terrible, three out of 10.”

“Bullshit!”

“What would you give it?” He asked, brows raised. “Because I’m questioning your judgement here…”

“At least a six.”

“No.”

“Yes!” She laughed. “You’ve just got shitty taste, old man.”

“Uh huh,” he laughed. “And what’s that say about you then, hm?”

“Broken clock is right twice a day,” she replied. “You were bound to accidentally do OK every now and then. Will Livingston, however, is right every time.”

“You got that entire book memorized?” He teased lightly. “If not, you gotta be close…”

“I’m getting there,” she said. “Saving the best for last.”

Joel just shook his head a little.

He loved patrolling with Ellie. Even more than he thought he would. It was so much like when he’d first come to know her and care for her. It was a time, he realized now, that made him understand that he could still love. That he had it within himself to care for another person, that he could cope with the fear of loss that came with attachment because Ellie was worth it. He liked spending the time just the two of them and getting to know her better as the young woman she was becoming instead of the little girl he’d come to know years earlier. She’d grown so much, come into her own in a way that was only possible in a place like Jackson. She had friends and hobbies and had become part of the community there. Every day with her was reassurance that he’d done the right thing. That every life he’d taken that day in the hospital was a worthy price to pay.

Joel had left Jackson with Ellie plenty before patrolling with her, back when she was still speaking to him. Before she found out the truth of everything. He’d loved it then, too. But this was different. She was still his baby girl but they were out here as partners, working together to protect the community they both loved. It was a glimpse of the future they had, one where their lives moved along side by side and he got to watch her find her place and fall in love and have a family of her own and just be happy as herself.

They were only a day out from Jackson now, heading in from a three day long patrol. It was Ellie’s first overnight patrol and she’d been so excited for it, even as she tried to pretend like she wasn’t. The days before they left town, Ellie was over at his house every night, going over the list of what she should bring and looking over the map. She’d lit up when he said they could bring a guitar, something else that made Joel smile.

It had been more than a month since she’d gotten him back into playing, showing up at his house with a guitar and saying she wanted his opinion on something. She played American Girl, one of his favorites, and set the guitar down when she was done.

“That was amazing, baby girl,” he’d said, more than a little in awe of her. “Where did you learn that?”

“Bambi,” she replied. “But do you think it’d sound better with two? I feel like it would. But you’re the musician so…”

It was an obvious ploy but it made him smile a little. The idea that Ellie would do that much to make him play again. That you’d help her.

“It might,” he said, getting up to get his instrument. “Let’s give it a try.”

Joel tried to not think of you too much. He usually failed. But he was getting better at not drowning in the memories of you, of not letting the loss of you consume him.

It helped that he’d found a way to care for you while respecting the distance you wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to just abandon you, not when he had a sense of how much you were hurting. So he brought you food. Selfishly, it served two purposes. It meant you were, hopefully, eating something. But it also meant he knew that you were still alive. That he could leave a box on your porch, walk by a few hours later, and see that it was gone. He could check on you without forcing you to talk to him and that eased the steady drumbeat of worry inside him.

When he heard you were back at the stables, he shifted from things you needed to things you would want. He brought you the things he found that made him think of you, things he’d have given you when he came home to you in another life.

It also helped that he knew you thought of him, too. At least occasionally, enough that you’d left the carving you’d made on his porch a few weeks before. He thought he was hearing things when the first squeak woke him up from his place on the couch, but then the step squeaked a second time and he was sure he heard it. He’d thought it might be Ellie, needing something but not necessarily wanting to say it. He hadn’t expected to see you heading down the street, the first glimpse of you he’d had in so long. Your arm was out of the cast and you looked good. A bit thinner than you’d been the last time he’d seen you but still good. Still beautiful, still soft with sharp edges. Still what he wanted to sink into and wrap himself up in every chance he got. He picked the moose up and brought it inside, tracing the outline of its frame for a moment. You’d finished it. It was rough, you were clearly a beginner, but you’d finished it and given it to him. His thumb brushed the wound on its heart, where you’d bled. Before he really thought better of it, he brought the figure to his lips and kissed it gently before setting it on the side table and turning out the lights.

The two of you were set to leave Jackson again in just a week, another gap in the patrol schedule that you could leverage to search for Savvy now that you were healed. He hoped this search led somewhere. He couldn’t imagine what it was like, living like that, not knowing what happened to your child. The closest he’d come was the torturous time that Ellie was with the monsters who’d taken her in Silver Lake. He was so frantic, so terrified of what he’d find but even more terrified of never finding it to begin with. He needed to save her, protect her. But if he couldn’t do that, he needed to know what happened to her. He needed to know who to destroy before he destroyed himself for letting it happen. Living in that for years would be unbearable.

“Hey Joel?”

He could hear the frown in her voice.

“Yeah Baby Girl?” He looked over his shoulder, Ellie and Shimmer falling behind him again now that the trail had narrowed further. She stopped and so did he.

“That’s something we should be watching for, right?” She nodded toward something off the trail, a small frown on her face. Joel followed where she was looking and he froze in his saddle.

It took an eagle eye to spot it, just brush amongst brush, but it shocked him when he saw it. The gentle arch of a sapling, stretching down toward the ground, held there with rope.

“Yeah,” he said. “It is. Stay with the horses.”

“But…”

“Just one second,” he said, dismounting and going for the trap, trying desperately not to get his hopes up but his heart was racing. It was a common set up for a trap. It could be anyone’s.

This trap was far fresher than the one he’d found with you, the dirt where the pin and been put in the ground still disturbed. The trap itself was still baited and the pins were smooth, almost artistically carved. It hadn’t been here long. He looked around quickly, looking for some indication of where the person who set this trap might have gone. It took some doing - whoever it was covered their tracks well - but he found it, the edge of a boot print.

He went back to his horse and mounted up.

“Ellie,” he said, voice serious. “Need you to listen to me, OK?”

“OK,” she frowned. “Joel, you’re acting weird…”

“We’re gonna track someone,” he said. “But when we find them, need you to not shoot them until we talk to them, OK? And… and if its a teenaged girl, need you to not shoot them even if she pulls a gun on me, OK?”

“A teenaged… Joel, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Just trust me,” he said. “Please.”

He started with the boot print and found little hints of someone moving through the brush from there. Disturbed leaves, a splotch of dirt that looked misplaced, a small branch that had snagged on another when something about human height passed below it.

“Joel,” Ellie said after they’d been tracking for about 20 minutes.

“Still looking,” he said gently. “It’s OK…”

He heard something rustle down low up ahead and he adjusted Ares’ path to check on it. He didn’t need to go far, the source of the sound only about 100 feet away and next to a large rock. Standing there, beside to a large horse and a large dog, was a girl. She was a little taller than Ellie, with gangly arms and legs, a rifle held high in her hands.

“Stop right there!” She said, her voice sharp with a familiar southern twang. The dog moved in front of her, getting down low and bearing its teeth. “Don’t wanna shoot you but I will. You can move right along, this spot’s taken.”

Joel lifted his hands and caught a glimpse of Ellie raising a gun next to him.

“Ellie!” He said sharply. She looked at him, eyes wide. “Gun down. Now.”

“But…”

“Now.”

She huffed but lowered the gun slowly, her eyes back on the girl in front of her.

“Won’t shoot you in the back,” the girl said. “Just turn around and go.”

Joel fought to focus. The girl in front of him… she looked like Sarah, so so much like Sarah. The same shock of curly hair, same brown skin, same bright eyes. If he didn’t know better, he’d think they were sisters. He fought to stay here, in the forest with Ellie, not getting swallowed by his own memories. He’d found her. He was all but certain of that now, he’d found her and he was going to bring her back to you.

“You out here on your own?” He asked gently, his hands said up.

“Don’t see how that’s any business of yours,” she said sharply. “All that matters to you is that I will kill you, don’t try me.”

“I understand,” he said. “Not going to hurt you…”

“Bullshit.”

“We’re not,” Ellie snapped.

“Ellie.”

“What!” She said. “Joel, I swear, if she shoots you…”

“Remember what I said,” he replied.

“But…”

“I mean it,” he cut her off. “Don’t, OK?”

He turned back to the girl.

“Not going to hurt you,” he said again. “Just… just hear me out for just a second, OK? We’re from a settlement, about a day’s ride from here…”

“Good for you,” she said. “Better head that way then.”

“It’s a good place,” he said, ignoring her. “With good people. Including… including your mama, I think.”

Her eyes went a little wide and she lowered the gun ever so slightly. He caught a glimpse of Ellie’s head whipping around to look at him but he kept his eyes on the girl.

“Your name’s Savannah, right?” He pressed on. “Your mom, she calls you Savvy, right?”

She raised the gun again.

“How’d you know that,” snapped. “You one of the assholes that took her? That it? What, you kill her? Get her to tell you about me first? That what happened?”

“No honey,” Joel said, his throat tight. He’d found her, he’d found your daughter. “No, she… she escaped them, few years back. She got hurt real bad doin’ it, we brought her in, got her fixed up and she stayed. She’s been looking for you but she’s still there…”

“Why should I trust you?” She snapped. “Why should I believe a damn thing you say?”

“Because I know her,” he said. “Been helping her look for you. She’s… I know her. She trains horses, guessin’ she trained the one you’ve got? She trained the one I’m on, too. She runs our stable for us, she…”

“Bambi?” Ellie gaped at him. “Bambi’s her mom? Bambi has…”

“Ellie,” Joel said again, cutting her off and looking back at Savvy.

“She’s there,” he said. “She misses you, she misses you so much. Told me how you liked to read to the horses when you were little. How the dogs liked you better than her. How you’re real good at carving… Recognized your trap, found another one of yours a few months back. She told me how your pins are always smooth and even… Let us take you back with us. Won’t take your guns, just… just come back with us. Please. She misses you so much, she’s been so worried…”

“We’re not people to be afraid of,” Ellie said and Joel glanced her way. She was looking at Savvy now, her face serious. “Well, as long as you’re not an asshole. I know Joel seems scary but he’s not. Promise. He’s safe.”

She lowered the gun slowly, looking between the two of them before looking down at the dog.

“Gattling,” she said. “Heel.”

The dog dropped its defensive stance and went alongside her, looking up and waiting for a command. She looked back at Joel and Ellie.

“You really know my mom?” She asked quietly. “She’s… she’s really alive?”

“She is,” Joel nodded, lowering his hands to the saddle horn. There was a knot in his throat. “And we can take you to her. Please.”

She hesitated for a moment.

“She teaches me stuff about music,” Ellie said quickly. “How to play some stuff on guitar, too, but more about music in general. She’s cool. Really. I’m… I’m sure she wants to see you again. And Jackson’s nice. And so are we. Just come along, OK?”

She took a deep breath, looking down at the dog for a moment, adjusting her grip on the rifle.

“OK.”

***

“She’s in rare fucking form this week,” Olivia said, watching as you steadied Persephone, one of the fillies you were working with.

“She’s just got an independent streak,” you said, the horse’s feet stomping impatiently in the dirt. “That’s OK. I get that. So do the best of us, right?”

She huffed and jerked her large head. You smiled a little.

“You’re sure she’s not gonna throw you?” Olivia asked, sounding a little worried.

“No,” you shrugged. “But I’ve gotten thrown off horses before, nothin’ new. Only way to break her is to break her, no point in stalling. You in a good spot?”

“Think so,” she said, stepping a little further back from the horse as you got ready to mount her.

“Then let’s go,” you said, all but jumping onto Persephone’s back. You barely got your foot in the stirrups before she started really bucking, Olivia moving even further away. You clutched the reins in one hand and let your hips go loose, digging your heels down toward the earth to stay seated. You let your body move with her as she hurled herself through the air, desperate to dislodge you. But you weren’t going anywhere. She gave you a good shake that made you grab the back of the saddle but otherwise, she didn’t get anywhere close to throwing you. After a while, she started to calm, her movements still sharp and harsh but closer to the earth, her hooves staying on the ground more often than not. Eventually, she mostly stilled, just tossing her head and huffing indignantly.

“See?” You said soothingly, reaching forward to pat her neck. “That’s my good girl, you did so well…”

“Bambi,” Olivia said, catching your eye. She nodded toward the gate to the paddock and you frowned a little before you followed her gaze.

Standing there was Joel and Ellie, their reins in their hands. But between them was a girl. She was young, a teenager, with springy curls and brown skin and wide, soft eyes.

You knew those eyes. You knew those eyes and that hair and that skin. For a moment, the world shrank to a small point centered on her and you wondered if, maybe, you’d finally lost your mind. If something had finally broken so thoroughly that you were seeing things.

But you weren’t. She was here. Your daughter was alive and she was here, in Jackson.

“Savvy,” you breathed and Persephone bucked below you. You weren’t paying attention to the horse and you flew off her back and into the dirt, landing with a brain rattling thud. You didn’t care.

You scrambled to your feet, throwing a glance back at Olivia to make sure she had Persephone so Savvy wouldn’t get hurt, and ran for her.

“Mom,” she said, her voice thick as you reached her and pulled her into yourself. You clutched her to your chest until you thought you could feel her heartbeat alongside yours, clinging to her too close to even kiss her or look at her but you needed to feel the life in her first, soak up the vitality of her before someone took it away.

“You’re alive,” you managed, voice thick. You buried your nose and mouth in her hair, breathing her in. “You’re alive, you’re here, you’re OK, you’re…”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” she said wetly and you pulled back from her just enough to look at her. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she sniffed as you took her face in your hands. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, I thought you were gone, I…”

“I’m so sorry baby,” you kissed her forehead before pulling her against you again and clinging to her. “I’m so sorry I let you go, I’m so sorry I didn’t get to you, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“It’s OK Mom,” she said, her hands holding your elbows. “I’m OK, it’s OK, I promise…”

You just held on to her, trying to memorize everything about her that you could. That she was taller now, that her shape had changed, that it seemed like she hadn’t had a chance to really grow into her limbs yet.

You looked up at Joel who was still there, his eyes wet, watching you hold your daughter.

“You found her,” you said softly.

He just nodded.

“Found her,” he said. “Couldn’t have without you, though. With everything you told me about her, was able to find her.”

You just nodded, running your hand down the back of her head as you held her.

“Thank you, Joel,” you whispered, holding her so tight that you were worried you might hurt her but too afraid that she’d slip away to stop. “Thank you.”

Next Chapter

A/N: AHHHH SAVVY'S HERE!!!!

And Joel found her. I'm so happy that Bambi has her baby back, for real. Things are getting there. I promise.

Thanks so much for reading and sticking with this story! Don't forget that you can get updates on my updates blog here.

Love you!!

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#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #yearling #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc

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sinfulpanda16 · 4 months

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Love You Too Much to Leave

Takashi Mistuya x Chubby Fem Reader

A little reassurance from ur boyfriend never hurts ^^

You did the stupid mistake of looking at one fitness influencer than another, and another, and now that's all you see in your social media. You didn't mean to but now that's all you're seeing. Pretty and thin girls. You see how they're so comfortable wearing what you wish you could wear and see how they look so good in them. Fuck, you hate feeling this way. Frustrated, you exit the app and decide to call your boyfriend, Mitsuya.

Mitsuya always knows how to make you feel better. He is your safe space You don't even have to tell him what's wrong, he'll help you either way.

After a few more rings he picks up the phone, "Hey sweetheart. What's up?" he asks as he measures the fabric he's working on carefully.

"Are you busy?" you ask a with a shaky voice. You didn't realize but there are tears in your eyes. Damn it, you didn't want him to know that something was wrong.

Mistuya stops what he's doing and asks you, "Darling whats wrong?" with concern in his voice. You sigh, telling him right now was gonna make you feel worse, so you decide to hold it off for later.

You wipe your tears away "Its nothing love. Right now the only thing I want is to meet with you." A day out will help you forget quickly about these insecurities of yours.

On the other end of the phone Mistuya smiles softly, "Of course baby. I'll come see you in a bit." Happy you thank him and hang up. See he can easily help you forget your worries.

He pulls up at your place with his bike. He goes to you and holds your hands "So whats going on sweetheart. Tell me and I promise I won't be mad."

Wait what?

"Huh? Nothing love, I just wanted to hang out with you." you say a bit startled by his abruptness.

He's quiet for a bit and starts to laugh awkwardly. "Oh. Sorry, it's just on the phone you said you wanted to meet up with me while crying." He rubs the back of his neck "I thought you were going to break up with me." He explains with relief in his voice. "I was worried."

This shocked you. You'd be stupid to leave man like him. He truly is one of a kind and the fact that he thinks you might leave him hurt you a bit. You give him a gentle kiss on his shoulder and smile at him, "Aww love. You don't ever have to worry about that. I love you too much to leave." You hold his hand gently.

Mitsuya smiles back at you and goes to kiss your lips "I love you to sweetheart. Now lets go, I know the perfect place to go." He says holding your hand as he brings you with him towards his motorcycle. He helps you on and puts your helmet on for you before you both speed away.

An amusement park.

He took you to an amusement park, where there are so many people. So many pretty girls. You tried ignoring them, but it was so hard when they were just everywhere. Any other day would've been fine but today seeing them just reminded you of the fitness influencers you would see on your phone. To make matters worse, a lot of them interacted with your boyfriend.

He accidentally bumped into one of the girls and they both smiled at each other and laughed, Mitsuya saying sorry and her telling him it was ok. That girl was pretty. Mitsuya being his cute self as he orders your guys snacks with the cute cashier. That girl was also pretty. Or worse, when you walk out of the restroom and saw a girl with her phone in her hands talking to Mitsuya. She was asking for his number and Mitsuya rejected her kindly. She was pretty too, why did he reject her? The girl walked away and Mitsuya kept waiting for you. When you went to him he happy to continue going on rides with you, but he didn't say what just had happened.

So later that evening when you two were on his bike you couldn't push away those mean thoughts in your head. You shed tears and because of the helmet you were wearing you couldn't wipe them off. Having realized this you tried to stop them but all that just caused even more stress so you stopped trying. You were at a point where you just didn't care anymore.

You make it back home and Mitsuya climbs off. Whenever he takes you anywhere on his bike he always climbs off first and then goes to picks you up and sets you down, then removes your helmet for you. So that's what he did, he put you down and then took off your helmet only to find you with tears.

"Baby?! What happened?!" he asks with a worried expression.

You wipe your tears, "I'm sorry love its just lately I've been feeling ugly and..."

He grabs your arms, "Darling when did this happen?" he asks really worried for you. He thought you were enjoying your time with him.

You might as well tell him now. "In the morning. There were so many fit people in my feed and then at the amusement park" you voice starts to shake "there were so many pretty girls. I saw one try to ask for your Instagram." You sniff and wipe those tears away.

He holds you tightly "Darling listen to me. You're the cutest being I've ever seen. I'm so addicted to just having you to look at, whether that be in person or in a picture. Why do you think I have us as my wallpaper?" You look up at him. He smiles softly, "Its so that I can say 'yes she's my gf' and possibly brag about it to the guys. I show us off don't think I don't." You giggle and he laughs, "They get so annoyed. They're just mad you picked me and not them."

You laugh at his words. Mitsuya smiles as he sees your beautiful smile. "Also, I'm sorry for not telling you about that girl trying to get my Insta, I just figured none of that was worth it cuz it was dumb." he laughs cuz he honestly forgot about that.

Yup that's your Mitsuya. Always knowing how to comfort you. You smile up at him, "Thank you love. I really needed to hear that."

He kisses you shoulder and gives you a soft smile, "I love you to much to leave." Him doing this made you fall in love with him even more. You two kiss in the sunset and look beautiful together.

#mitsuya takashi #mitsuya x you #mitsuya x reader #tokyo revengers mitsuya #mitsuya x y/n #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo rev mitsuya #mitsuya tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x you #tokyo rev x y/n #mitsuya fluff

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iprobablyshipit91 · 11 months

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Beautiful

Genre: hurt, comfort, fluff

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus size!Female Reader

Word Count: 645

Warnings: body issues, negative thoughts, post pregnancy insecurities

SPN Masterlist

I’ve been feeling a bit down the last few days and this happened kind of out of nowhere but it felt good to write something. Sending love to anyone feeling insecure about their body for whatever reason. You are beautiful just the way you are 💕

You look in the mirror with a frown tugging down at the corners of your lips and sigh heavily. In nothing but your underwear it's hard not to notice the way your body has undoubtedly changed over the last year. Your thighs are a bit thicker, your hips a bit wider, your stomach a lot rounder. Your body has always been thicker set, but strong and capable of fighting as was needed for hunting. Now all you see is soft lines and the pattern of discoloured skin now running in lines down your whole stomach.

You’re no stranger to stretch marks and scars, but these feel different somehow. They’re so wide and the colour of them so vivid that they’re all you can see. And there’s just so damn many of them. The whole of your lower stomach is covered.

The worst thing is that Dean still looks, well incredible. You swear he somehow gets even more handsome as he ages which is entirely unfair. He's still muscular and fit, despite the unlimited amount of burgers and pies he seems to devour. And even though you know it’s ridiculous as it’s not like his body had to grow and change to accommodate a small human, you know that’s not the issue. It's not jealousy that Dean’s body is, in your eyes, flawless. It's that stupid, creeping insecurity that whispers nonsense in your mind, that tells you Dean will want to find someone equally as flawless. Someone who looks like the girls at the bars he used to chase in his younger days.

It's crap and you know it. He gave those habits up long ago and you know he loves you for so much more than the body you steer through the world. But inner voices are nothing if not cruel at the worst of times. You sigh, finger tracing down one of the jagged lines when the door opens behind you.

"Sweetheart, have you s-“

Dean stops, mid-step and mid-sentence, catching sight of you judging yourself in the mirror. You scramble to grab your t-shirt, discarded on the bed, but Dean beats you there, crossing the room in a few short strides and standing between you and the mattress, blocking your way.

"What are you doing?" His question is soft, eyes searching your face and noticing the frown lines that have etched themselves into your forehead.

"Nothing," you whisper, embarrassed at having been caught. You avoid Dean’s eye, but he slips a hand beneath your chin and lifts your face to his.

"You're my favourite, most beautiful girl," he says, looking deep into your eyes before pulling you to his chest and kissing the top of your head, "Nothing is ever going to change that, okay?"

"Okay," you nod, closing your eyes as a tear slips unbidden down your cheek. He releases you gently, his hands moving slowly down your arms before landing on your hips. The heavy weight of his hands on your skin somehow makes you feel better. It’s a reminder that there is so much more to both of you than your flawed skin and perfectly imperfect bodies.

"I love you, Sweetheart. Exactly the way you are." Dean’s words are a breath against your lips but said with so much conviction that you feel your heart soar. “And these right here,” the back of his fingers stroke gently down the lines on your stomach, tracing the same path yours did just moments ago. “These show what an incredible job you did of carrying and protecting our little boy. I will forever be grateful and so proud of you.”

You close your eyes again, a few more tears spilling over but a small smile graces your face. Dean wipes your cheeks tenderly with his thumbs before he pulls you into a deep kiss that tells you love is more than just skin-deep.

#iprobablyshipit91 writes #dean winchester x plus size reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x female reader #dean x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #protective!dean winchester #dean winchester #dean x you #fluff #SPN #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #insecure reader

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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year

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i was wondering how would the monster trio react if they randomly got a boner and bro im SURE sanji’s cock twitches 47 times a day given the thoughts he constantly has 🙄🙄 zoro gets them while he sleeps so he waits for his dick to calm down before standing up,, people think he’s lazy but he’s just hard and doesn’t want anybody to know🤭🤭

luffy’s dick gets hard when he thinks about being the pirates king 😒😒

“𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕚𝕣 𝔻𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝔾𝕖𝕥𝕤 ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕕 ℝ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕞𝕝𝕪”

All are very canon cuz i seen it for myself.

Ft. Zoro, Luffy, Sanji

Blk Fem! Reader in Mind

CW: Dick talk, established relationships because i wanna project and include myself😓

Luffy

When he gets hard it’s really rare and i feel like it’s partially because of his rubbery body….does that even make sense

He gets hard from very few things and they’re always so minuscule or random its hard to know if he’s actually turned on or if his body is just trynna be funny.

You once made him a dessert that you really wanted to try without the assistance of sanji and when Luffy ate it he not only fell in love with you, but loved the sweet pastry so much you noticed a tent grow in his shorts

Very shameless in the morning by the way.

Every man gets morning wood at least once a lifetime and when Luffy gets it

everybody knows.

“LUFFY PUT THAT THING AWAY?!”

“Calm down, Nami it’ll go down in a sec..😄”

Has been heard by the guys a few times with him jacking off late night when his hard on is just so bothersome.

“GO DO THAT SOMEWHERE ELSE—“

“OR GO SEE Y/N!”

“Dont wanna. Shes too far. Im almost done dont worry.”

Usopp ends up pissed the entire day.

His boners can ironically go down quickly if he eats meat.

You swear his dick has a mind of it’s own, all you did was tell him about how much higher his bounty would get after defeating Kaido and his dick started poking you in the back.

Now he is still a guy and guys also can be attracted to women so you being his girlfriend—you’re not necessarily excluded.

However he gets hard at the simplest things you do.

Taking his hat, Calling him captain, even play fighting with him he ends up getting hard so hopefully youre a good gf and willing to help him out when it happens😁

Zoro

He claims he can control his erections .

No he cannot.

If he’s in a relationship with you he’s more shy about letting you know about his dick problems because you dont want him to think hes a pervert.

He can’t control a damn thing his dick does which is why he blames you.

“I had more balance before I met you—“

“Wh—HELLO?”

“LOOK. WOMAN.”

All you did was hug him.

Like u said: When he gets morning wood he is usually laying around a little longer. He has tried jacking off while in the room with the guys as they slept but he heard Luffy sleep walking (with his own hard on) and immediately just went back to sleep.

He very rarely does get hard though. However you plan to find out every single thing that turns him hard and so far you only found 2:

The first one is kissing, hes a touch starved man and you can never help yourself when it comes to locking lips with him. Your tongue wrapped around his, your hands on his chest and straddling him as he gropes your ass, he’s so needy it’s almost too cute to handle. and the look on his face when you feel him poke you is absolutely EVERYTHING.

The one that shocked you the most was when youre arguing with him. He doesnt know why he gets turned on by how mad you get whether it’s at him or someone else but the blood flow of his dick is damn near on fire. Maybe it’s because you have an accent when you speak fast, maybe it’s because it’s a rare occurrence, or maybe zoro is a freak. But seeing you so pent up and pissed makes his pants tight

Zoro getting hard consist of him being irritable, quiet, and trying to isolate himself until he or you fix the issue

Sanji

He’s always half hard.

Wanna know something else, his blood fits he has (the ones that didnt turn into a fucking plot point) are representing each time he gets hard.

Anyways though, he masturbates regularly. If he’s not cooking or out with the crew he is in the bathroom helping himself.

His hard ons are easy to spot because he’ll hide himself behind a counter with blush on his face or stand behind you.

He is shameless with his hardons only when you’re around.

He can get hard just by seeing you smile so have fun with that.

But he gets incredibly hard(and even easier) after you both have had sex before

If you all are on the deck and you wanna wear another thin ass bikini of course he is going to get hard. Thinking about the things he’d do to you if you just gave him the green light.

Which is also why Sanji stares at you a lot.

So he will come behind you and bury his face in your shoulder or neck whining.

You don’t mind it. It’s cute to see him rut up behind your ass, his accent slipping through .

“May we..go to your room please?”

If you say yes he will walk SUPER close behind you tying to hide his painful erection, mumbling small praises and thanks for you being so understanding.

He’s so grateful for you :(

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a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all · 8 months

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That's What Family is For (Part 2)

Fandom: DC, Batman, Batfam, Damian Wayne, Batsis!reader, f!reader Summary: After being kidnapped and offering to take Damian's place to be tortured, you miraculously find yourself waking up back home. Damian has a new outlook on your relationship, but will a secret from your past ruin everything? Word Count: 5231 TW: Hospital, Aftermath of Torture, Mentions of Past Torture, Mentions of Death, Forced to Watch, Crying, Coma, Past Trauma Note: Today is the 2 year anniversary of posting Part 1 of this fic. Thank you so incredibly much for your patience and support as I worked on this and I hope it lives up to Part 1 💖 Part of @ailesswhumptober

Part 1

You have no idea how long you were asleep for, but when you finally managed to drag yourself into consciousness, you couldn’t remember why every inch of your body was in a strange state of concurrent numbness and agony, or why you couldn’t seem to see out of your left eye. It was only when you caught sight of the two casts stretching from the soles of your feet up to the top of your thighs that it all came flooding back to you.

You and Damian had been kidnapped in an attempt to get a ransom from Bruce. To prove they meant business, the kidnappers were going to torture Damian but you had offered to take his place. What happened next was just a blur of blood and pain: The glint of a large knife. The blunt impact of a bat. But mercifully, you couldn’t remember much else. Just that it had been bad. Really bad.

You tried to take a mental inventory of what hurt and what sort of injuries you had sustained, but there was too much damage. All the individual pain bled into each other until it just felt like one massive wound. Every breath you took made your chest, ribs, and throat ache, your head was pounding, and you couldn’t move either leg or your left arm. All you could manage was a slight turn of your head as you looked towards the door but even that small motion sent new waves of pain through you, causing a low moan to slip from your lips.

Almost instantly, Jason came rushing into the room, panic etched onto his face. Yet the second he saw you looking at him, his face split into a massive grin. The kind you couldn’t remember seeing on him since he returned from the dead. And despite everything, that sight warmed your heart.

Licking your cracked lips, you tried to speak but nothing happened. Swallowing a few times, you finally managed a barely audible, “Hey, Jaybird.”

The words sounded funny, thick and slightly lispy but Jay’s smile only widened. He hurried to your bedside and dropped into the chair that had been left there. “Damn, sis. You look terrible.”

You knew he was trying to keep the mood light, but you could hear the tears hiding just behind his words. Giving your best attempt at a smile, you croaked, “Even like this, I bet I still look better than you.”

“Yeah, probably,” he chuckled. “That voice though…. They said it would probably be hard to speak for a few days because of the tube and–” He cut himself off, but you knew what he was going to say. Because all your screams of pain had damaged it.

Swallowing again, you tried to make your voice sound as normal as possible. “Yeah, well, you better be careful. You keep smoking all those cigarettes, this is what you’ll sound like in a few years.”

“Even now you gotta hassle me about those?”

“If you would just quit, I wouldn’t have to get on you about the–”

Your words were cut off as your body fell prey to a fit of coughing. It tore at your throat like daggers and your chest felt like it was shattering into pieces. It only lasted for a few seconds but when it passed, you were left panting and moaning in pain.

When you finally managed to pull yourself together once more and looked back at Jason, his smile had completely vanished, replaced with a thin-lipped grimace. His eyes drifted over your broken body before returning to your face. “So… Honestly. How do you feel?”

“How do you think?” you wheezed. “Like someone ran over me with.. with a… wit– oh forget it. I’m in too much pain to think of something clever. I feel shitty.”

“What hurts?”

“The easier question is ‘what doesn’t hurt?’. And why can’t I open my left eye?”

“Alfred taped it closed for now. It looked pretty messed up.”

You nod slightly. “Permanent?”

“Not sure,” he muttered, staring down at the floor. “They had to wait until you woke up to fully assess the damage.”

You nodded again, the dread growing in the pit of your stomach. But you have to know the answer to your next question, no matter how terrifying the answer might be. In a small voice, you ask, “How bad overall?”

Jason hesitated. “Maybe you should wait for Bruce or Alfred to–”

“How bad, Jay?”

Still avoiding your eye, he shifted in his chair before answering. “Bad. The worst of the damage is on your left side. Your arm was dislocated, your cheekbone was destroyed, you’re missing several teeth, and your eye is… well, I already mentioned that. Also, most of your ribs were pretty much shattered and the ones that weren’t are cracked. The pieces punctured your lungs in multiple places. Your legs…The knives thankfully missed all the major arteries, but Alfred said there still might be some nerve damage.”

“Is that all?” You had meant for the question to be sarcastic, but the quiver in your voice made it sound more like a desperate plea.

Jason took a long, deep breath. “It also took eight surgeries, four blood transfusions, and three resuscitations to get you stable.”

“Yeah, that feels about right.” You clenched your jaw tightly as you struggled to hold back your tears, but that just sent a fresh jolt of pain through your mouth. Using your tongue, you gently prod the three new gaps where teeth used to be. No wonder your words sounded funny.

In a soft whisper, you asked, “I’m done, aren’t I? There’s no coming back from this, not really. Even if I can get back to a halfway normal state, I’m never going to be able to put the costume back on. No going on patrol, no more protecting the city, no more being a hero.”

A small sob bubbled in your throat. When Bruce had taken you in all those years ago, you were a mess. Every night, you woke up screaming from nightmares—memories—of watching your parents tortured to death in front of you while you were helpless to do anything. You had felt so powerless. But then Bruce told you about his secret life. That he was the man in the mask who had rescued you from that horrible place. And he taught you how to be strong, how to be for others what he had been for you. He had given your life a purpose but now….it had been taken from you just like your parents had been.

As the tears began to slip down your face, Jason carefully took your hand, rubbing the back with his thumb as he leaned in to stare you directly in your good eye. “Hey, don’t think that way. Bruce was able to come back from a broken back, I came back from the dead, and you… you can come back from this. It’s not gonna be easy and it’ll take a lot of hard work, but if anyone can do it, you can.”

The tears began to flow faster as you finally let the sob you had been holding back free. Squeezing Jason’s hand as tightly as you were able, you cried, “Thank you, Jay. Thank you for everything. I can’t even imagine making it through what comes next without my brothers by my side.”

Jason snatched his hand back from your grasp and pushed back in his chair, his expression growing dark as he spat, “Don’t. Don’t thank me. While you were sacrificing everything for Damian, while you were lying there dying, I was here. Too weak to help you when you needed me most.”

“Jay–”

“I wanted to be there, I did, I just…” His sharp tone crumbled into a near sob as he buried his face in his hands. “I was fine until he picked up the bat. Then it all came rushing back. All I could see was the Joker standing over me with that crowbar and…and I….” His hands muffled his cries, but you could still see the way his shoulders shook as he sobbed.

You had forgotten that they had sent a live feed of your torture to all of Wayne Industries which was probably how Bruce had located you and Damian. Jason never talked about what had happened to him all those years ago in that warehouse, but you had been waiting in the Batcave when Bruce had brought Jason’s body home. You still remembered the bruises and blunt force trauma that couldn’t have been made from the explosion. And you also recalled how the sight of your brother’s broken form sent you into a hysterical fit, not only over the loss of the boy you loved like family but also because it brought back all of the scars from your parents’ deaths. You had felt incredibly guilty later once Bruce and Alfred calmed you down that you had made Jason’s death all about you and your past traumas. But Bruce reminded you that your pain and grief was valid, whenever it hit you, and despite the circumstances, you needed to take care of yourself first or you weren’t going to be able to help anyone else.

Just like Jason needed to take care of whatever horrors he had relived before coming to help you.

It took a lot of determination and concentration, but you slowly moved your hand towards Jason. Luckily, he was sitting on your right side since that was the only arm you could move at the moment, but it still took an achingly long time to close the short distance between you.

As you lay your hand on his shoulder, his head jerked up. When he saw what you had done, his eyes—the blue magnified by the tears about to fall—grew wide. Smiling, you brushed your fingertips lightly across his cheek and said, “Jay, I understand why you didn’t come. There was nothing you could have done and you needed a chance to deal with your own pain. And I’m sorry that I was the reason you had to relive that experience.”

Jason shook his head furiously and clutched at your hand. “No! This was not your fault! All you did was protect Damian. The only person to blame is that psychopath Moore.” His face darkened. “Bruce better be glad they threw that son of a bitch in Blackgate because if he had gotten away, nothing and no one would have stopped me from hunting him down and putting a bullet between his eyes.”

“See? You are such a loving, protective brother who would do anything for me.” His expression softened slightly. “Besides, you even just admitted. Moore is the only one to blame here. Not me, and not you. So, please, don’t beat yourself up over this. I’m still here and I need you now more than ever.” You squeezed his hand as tightly as you were able and after a moment, he returned both the squeeze and the smile. You nodded softly then changed the subject. “How is Damian handling all of this?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Jason nodded towards the other side of the room.

It took you a moment and quite a bit of pain to turn your head enough so your right eye could see where he was gesturing, but when you managed it, your smile grew wider.

Curled into a tight ball, Damian was fast asleep on the couch on the far side of the room. He looked so small and it reminded you that despite his upbringing, he was still just a kid, which made you feel better about your condition. If one of you had to be lying in this bed, you would have offered yourself up every time.

Jason chuckled softly to himself as he saw your face. “He’s barely left the room since they brought the two of you home. Bruce tried getting him to go back to school the last two days, but he flat-out refused. Said he wasn’t going anywhere until you woke up.”

“Really? That doesn’t sound like Damian.”

“Well, I think his actual words were ‘Tt. Father, I cannot be bothered with those trivial lessons while my sister’s fate is still uncertain. I am needed here. Yes, I have a geography test next week, but I have traveled to more countries than my so-called teacher could even possibly name. This is more important.’”

Despite the mocking—though fairly accurate—impression Jason had made, your eyes welled up with tears once more. Damian had called you ‘sister’. It was the first time you could ever remember him doing so. No. That wasn’t true. He had said it when Bruce and Dick had shown up to save them. In fact, the echoing word was the last thing you remembered before the world had gone dark.

Swallowing hard to clear your throat, you asked, “Um, do you think…Would he be upset if I asked you to wake him up?”

“Yo! Demon Spawn! Wake up!” Before you could stop him, Jason hurled a pillow across the room so it slammed into Damian’s sleeping form.

The kid instantly leaped to his feet in a crouched position, ready to take on any and all attackers. But he straightened up when he saw Jason’s smug grin and your weak smile staring back at him instead. Rushing to your side, he said, “Sister! You are awake!”

You tilted your head slightly to look at him better. “So are you. Sorry for the rude wake-up. That was all Jay.”

“Hey!” Jason huffed indignantly. “You asked me to wake him up and I did! You just never said how.”

Damian glared at him out of the corner of his eyes. “Yes, Todd has been exceedingly insufferable this last week while you have been injured—”

“W-week? I’ve been out of it for a week?” You felt your blood run cold. You knew things were bad, but for some reason the thought of you laying in this bed unconscious for the past 7 days made your condition seem so much worse.

Jason and Damian exchanged a worried look. Then Jason cleared his throat and said, “Yeah…. It's been eight days since you and Damian were kidnapped. They had to keep you in a medically induced coma for the first five days while they operated. Then when they brought you out, they had to dope you up with so many pain meds that you were out of it even when you were awake. They tried to lower your dose but they had to up them again when they removed the breathing tube and you wouldn’t stop moaning…So, yeah. It’s been a week.”

You let your head fall back against the pillow as tears began to sting your eyes. Obviously, it would have taken you time to recover from that level of injury, but a week? No, actually, eight days. And that was just the start of your recovery. The amount of time, therapy, and hard work it would take you just to be able to stand again, let alone walk or fight, was dizzying to think about. Despite the fact Jason had reassured you differently, you didn’t see how you weren’t done after this. How were you supposed to bounce back?

As the tears finally became too much and began slipping down your face, you whispered, “You all should have just let me go.”

“No!” The ferocity in Damian’s voice startled you and you looked over to see his small hands curled into tight fists as his face bore a determined scowl that could rival Bruce’s. “No. You do not get to give up. Not now. Not now that the worst of it is behind you. You never once gave up while we were captured. Despite everything that sadistic fiend did to you, you fought to protect me. We would not have been in that situation if it was not for me and I will repay my debt to you by remaining by your side to ensure you get through this.”

You stared at Damian for a long time, a mix of pride, adoration, and guilt stirring in your chest. Seeing how he wanted to stand by you and help you through what came next meant the world to you. The Damian who climbed into your car eight days ago wouldn’t have done so. However, you couldn’t let him make such a vow without knowing all the facts.

Shifting your eye to look at Jason, you muttered, “Can you give us a minute alone?”

He hesitated, his eyes flickering back and forth between you and his younger brother, but finally, he nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll go let everyone else know you’re not only awake but coherent this time. They’ll want to see you.”

“Thanks, Jay. I’ll have Damian let you know when we’re done.”

He nodded, shot Damian one last look, and left the room.

Now that you were alone, you carefully motioned for Damian to take the chair Jason had been sitting in earlier and he silently did as you wished…for once. He looked so small compared to the memory of Jason’s hulking form sitting there just moments before and tears once more stung your eyes as it hit you all over again how young he was to have experienced what the two of you just went through. You hadn’t planned on having this conversation until you were a little better, but he deserved to know the truth and not continue blaming himself for what happened.

Taking a deep breath, you said, “It’s not your fault, Dami. He was never after you. You were only there because of me.”

“Tt,” Damian scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. “You have no proof of that. As you said in that warehouse, I am Father’s blood heir. If anyone was the target, it would have been me.”

You shook your head. “It was my car, Damian. The car I insisted you get in even though you didn’t want to. If I would’ve just let you walk home like you wanted–”

“They could have been monitoring me and adjusted their plans when I joined you in your vehicle. You still cannot be confident–”

“I know Moore.”

Damian blinked in surprise. “Yo–you what?”

You nodded sadly. “I know him. I didn’t realize it at first because it was so long ago and I’ve tried so hard to forget that day, but it was him. After I had passed out from Moore’s torture, they unhooked me from the chains and just let me drop to the floor. The pain of the landing woke me up for just a minute and I tried to beg them to put me back up because I knew otherwise they’d be coming for you, but I was in so much pain I could barely form a sentence. Moore saw I was awake and came to stand over me with that nauseatingly cocky look on his face.”

You shuttered at the memory of it and knew it was an image that would haunt your nightmares for years to come. But you pressed on. “Then he said, ‘For what it’s worth, you should be proud. You died a lot more honorably than your parents did.’ And that’s when I remembered.”

Tears slipped from your eyes as you allowed all the walls and safeguards you had built up over the years to finally come down and you recalled the night your life changed forever. “It’s been so long and he was just a kid, no older than Tim. But then again, I was even younger.” Taking a deep breath, you looked up at Damian. “How much do you know about my life before Bruce took me in?”

Damian shrugged one shoulder. “Just what I said in the car. Your parents were tortured to death by a gang who left you tied up with their bodies until the police found you. Then when he heard what happened and that you had no one left, Father took you in.”

You nodded and wiped a tear from your eye. “My parents owned a little shop near Crime Alley at the time. It was a hole-in-the-wall thrift store that barely made enough to put food on the table but my parents loved that place. It was their pride and joy so when the local gang came by to demand protection money, they refused. They didn’t want their place associated with gangsters. Which of course the gang didn’t like. We lived in a small apartment above it and one night, the gang broke in while we were sleeping. I was only six at the time and I didn’t understand what was happening. I just knew some bad people dragged us out of bed and into the basement where they tied us all up to chairs. I was sitting between my parents as they begged and pleaded for our lives, but even then I still didn’t understand. Not until one of the men pulled out a knife.”

A humorless chuckle fell softly from your lips. “I guess in hindsight, I should have remembered Moore sooner. The way he tortured and hurt me was very similar to what the gang did to my parents. Just small cuts that got deeper and deeper. Small weapons that got more and more damaging until….”

A small hiccupy sob slipped from your lips as everything came flooding back to you. Your father screaming in pain as the gang broke bone after bone and cut off his fingers one by one. Your mother hysterically sobbing as she begged them to let you all go. The way those pleas eventually shifted to just begging them to let you go. And then the eerie silence that fell across the room after your mother had taken her last breath.

Damian took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It is alright, sister. You do not have to continue.”

You shot him an appreciative smile but shook your head. “No. It’s okay.” Taking several deep breaths to compose yourself, you continued. “There was one gang member who stayed huddled in the corner, refusing to watch as the rest of the gang had their fun.”

“Moore.”

You nodded. “I didn’t know it at the time, but yeah. He had started by anxiously pacing around at the back of the room but once things turned really violent….he couldn’t take it. He tried to run back upstairs but the gang forced him to stay and watch. Said he needed to learn how things were done. And after the other day, I’d say he learned his lesson pretty well.”

“And you are certain it was him?”

“Absolutely. I stared at him through most of it, partly because I couldn’t stand to watch what they were doing to my parents, but also partly because I could tell he was just as horrified as I was and yet he did nothing to stop it. I wanted to scream at him to help us, to do something, but I also was too afraid to speak up. And when they were done and the gang members left, he was the last one out of the room. He looked at me as if he wanted to apologize or set me free or…I don’t know. But instead, he just turned and ran up the stairs. The next time I saw him was when he walked into that room we were both chained up in.” You scoffed as you felt a lump growing in your throat. “I guess we picked up right where we left off, huh?”

The physical damage that had been done to you was hard enough to bear, but now realizing the connection your tormentor had to your past made you want to vomit. Moore may not have laid a finger on you back then, but he had been there to witness the worst day of your life. His friends had been the ones who did the same thing to your parents—only your parents hadn’t been lucky enough to survive. You wondered how long Moore had been planning this, how long he had wanted to finish the job that had been started all those years ago. Perhaps it was some sort of decades-long revenge plot since your parents’ deaths had eventually led to the arrest of most of the other gang members and the collapse of his gang. Or it was possible he just wanted to blackmail Bruce as he said and he thought using you to do it was just a bonus. Jason said Moore had been taken to Blackgate so once you were better, you could go try to get some answers. But at the moment, you weren’t sure if you even wanted them.

You had been so deep in thought that you only just realized that Damian had been silently staring down at your interlocked hands for the past few minutes. His expression was nigh-on unreadable and you were once again reminded of Bruce. Given enough time, support, and guidance, you could see him growing into a man worthy to carry on his father’s legacy. You just hoped he would want you to be around to see it.

You wouldn’t blame Damian if his attitude towards you reverted back to how it was before all of this happened. After all, he was put through hell because of you. He had warmed up to you solely because you had offered yourself up to be tortured instead of him—yet he never should have been there in the first place. Maybe this would actually make your relationship worse. Maybe Damian would cut you off completely. Maybe—

“Sister, I cannot imagine how hard this realization must have been for you and I…I am sorry.”

His voice cut through your internal spiraling and you blinked in surprise. “Wh-what?” With all the scenarios you had swirling around in your head, hearing Damian apologize had never even crossed your mind. “But Dami you’re not…mad?”

Now it was his turn to look surprised. “Why would I be mad?”

“I’m the reason you were there. I thought once you knew the whole story and realized that, you would hate me for getting you dragged into everything. Or at least–” you dropped your gaze down to the bed “–at least I thought you’d go back to not really liking me.”

“Oh…” The small boy shifted in his chair. “I can understand why you may have come to that conclusion but knowing your history with Moore does not change how I feel about what you did for me. You saved me long before you remembered who he was or your connection to him. And even that still does not prove you were the one he was after, not me. I am the youngest and, as such, am perceived to be the most vulnerable and incapable of protecting myself—Tt, though in reality, it is Drake who fits that description.”

You smiled as you shook your head. Tim would disagree with that statement, but Damian’s point was still valid. To those who did not know of his past upbringing or training, it would be easy to dismiss him as a young, spoiled, entitled brat who never had to lift a finger his entire life. But they couldn’t be farther from the truth. Despite being a kid, Damian had already experienced more than 90% of people would in their lifetime. Hell, when he was the same age you were when you watched your parents die, he had already been training for years with the League of Assassins. Moore had just gotten lucky when he grabbed the two of you: if Damian hadn’t woken up hurt and already chained up, he probably could have incapacitated every one of your kidnappers.

Damian continued. “Regardless of who the target was, it does not change the fact you volunteered yourself in my place when they wanted to take me. And despite the pain you were in, you tried to hold on as long as possible so I would not be forced to take your place. How could any other detail matter except my sister loves me enough to die for me?”

The lump in your throat got bigger until you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You managed to nod your head quickly and repeatedly as you choked out, “I would. Because I do. I do love you, Damian.” He stared down at the floor, shifting once more in his chair as his fist tightened around yours. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. You knew how hard it was for him but you could see he wanted to say it and that was enough. So, squeezing his hand back, you whispered, “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back.”

His shoulders dropped with visible relief and he gave you a small, grateful smile. Then, in a tiny voice, he muttered, “But I do though.”

It was the final straw. Tears began flowing down your cheeks as a small cry burst from behind your lips. There was a sharp pain in your chest as you disturbed your injuries, but it seemed unimportant at the moment. You tried to control yourself as much as possible, knowing emotions and displays of affection bothered Damian, but it was all too overwhelming. For so long you had tried to get him to at least tolerate you, but this? This was more than you ever dared to hope for.

Damian sat quietly as you took a moment to compose yourself. Despite the added pain you incurred from your crying, you couldn’t remember feeling this happy in a while…..or this worn out. Now that you had cleared the air with Damian and everything was better than expected, you realized how much you had been struggling to stay awake.

Another wave of exhaustion hit you and it took almost everything you had to murmur, “I know Jay said everyone was waiting to see me but I think….I think I need to rest for a bit. Could you ask them to wait until I take a small nap?”

He nodded. “Of course, sister. Whatever you need.”

“Thanks, Dami.”

You expected him to leave but instead, he squeezed your hand hard and looked you dead in the eye. “I mean it. Whatever you need. You will heal and things will return to normal. And I will be by your side for all of it.”

You smiled up at him, fighting to keep your eyes open. “Thank you, Dami.”

He laid your hand gently back on the bed before standing from his chair and walking to the door. He glanced over his shoulder at you one last time, nodded, and then disappeared.

With no reason left to hold on, you let yourself collapse back into the bed as you gave into the darkness that was dancing on the edge of your vision.

And as you felt yourself being pulled under to unconsciousness once more, you couldn’t help but smile. Despite everything that had happened and the long road to recovery that lay before you, you had a father and four brothers who loved you and would be by your side through all of it. Because at the end of the day, that’s what family is for. And you were so thankful to have found this family.

Taglist: @zebralover, @itzagothamcitysiren, @roses-and-ricex, @blackpearl2324, @po55um, @missborntodiex, @hypnobanditprofessorhorse-blog, @an-ever-angry-bi, @rukia-uchiha-98, @shipsforlif3, @dumb-fawkin-bitch, @hyding-out-here, @555hikaii, @nik2blog, @thefictionalcharacterssimp, @venomsvl, @sugarysweetsandpainfulteeth, @your-friendly-neighborhood-al, @hellfire-fan-club

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alwaysshallow · 10 months

Text

— because of you

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x gn!reader

Special "anniversary" with your best friend. (3,1 k)

AO3 version

Category and prompt: roommates/neighbors + "we're not just friends, and you know it"

A/N: Glad to participate in GazFest! To many more like this! @glitterypirateduck

"Got some sugar, neighbor?" you see him, all smiling with empty cup in his hand, when you open the door right after someone knocked.

That certain someone? Kyle motherfucking Garrick, your neighbor. God only know what encouraged him to move in here after two years you did. Your reason to move from UK to Italy? Promotion of work, you were supposed to take care of team – bigger than you had back in the UK, way, way bigger. It felt like a dream coming true, you always wanted something like this, to be… appreciated, that was the good word to that. It would be a dumb from you if you'd decline such a good offer.

It was a success, after all. You could tell after a month. What's more to it, you liked your new place. Not only because it was still Europe (God forbid moving to the USA), but the climate here was just idyllic. Yours, so to speak, even if it was your first visit in that country. People here, their attitude, just matched yours perfectly. It took a few months to adjust to siestas, sure, but overall, you couldn't imagine what other country in Europe would fit you so much.

It was a bit hard to be fluent in Italian, you weren't the best, but after two years you could definitely name yourself almost fluent. It helped that you had to deal with native speakers, not only in work (even if you mostly spoke English here) but around you. With a small smile, you always liked to visit your local store, where the old lady was chatting with you about gossips going around town.

Moving on to your best friend… and his reason. You don't know his reason. His life is mostly military, and being called to go back to work in sick hours, like two in the morning; so being in the UK made more sense than anything else, really. Yet, after two years, when he "visited" you, it was a visit with four big suitcases, and the biggest grin ever. What's more to it, he just happened to find an apartment literally next to you, which you thought was almost impossible.

Like, it was really clogged with people building, and he just found it? What's more to it, you always knew who is going to move in since you are best friends with the owner. You couldn't brush off the feeling that military really helped in things like that.

"Sugar? What, are you baking somethin'?" you raise your eyebrow, trying to tease him a bit. He chuckles, then walks in, so you can close the door after him.

"You know it" he winked. "I mean, gotta celebrate things, yeah?" he nudges you, as he searches for sugar in your kitchen cupboards, making your confusion even more evident right now. Kyle seems to notice that because he lets out a chuckle, and stops his moves for a moment. "'m making you confused, love?"

"I mean, what's to celebrate?" you ask. "Your birthday is in a few months, mine already was two months ago. So, you have some sneaky business here, Mr. Garrick" you muse, the corner of your lip twitching.

Your neighbor laughs, when he takes a cup of sugar, and hides the package swiftly, before turning to you with sneaky smirk.

"You really don't know?"

You roll your eyes, amused.

"Kyle, if I wouldn't know any better, I would think I'm a lousy husband that forgot our anniversary, or something." you joke, tilting your head to the side, when you try to scan his face, in order to find a clue, or an answer to your question.

Nothing here, but pure amusement. Damn his military for that, really – before, your best friend was like an open book to you. You could even make him confess to lying, and it was more than amusing, when he tried to avoid your eye contact.

After military, that high school boy was still here, but more confident, more… hell, was it possible to say more hot? You thought about Kyle like that, obviously, even if nothing official happened between you two, besides a few kisses when you were drunk, but he got even more hot. Standing his ground, giving judgy looks to anyone who seemed sketchy to him.

And, it was a lie about a few kisses. There was a lot of them, not only when you were drunk, but even the morning after that. It was a simple fact that you can't forget about Kyle Garrick's hands, nor lips. Everyone who experienced, just knew.

Nothing besides kisses happened between you two, though – the boundary was here, obviously because you were best friends, nothing else. At least, best friends in theory, practice was a bit… different, considering that best friends usually didn't kiss, or held each other gazes like you two.

"I'm gonna be here for two months straight. Consider this, special gift" he smiles, tugging a strand of your hair behind your ear. "And, you're kinda a lousy husband, though."

"Oh, I am?" you laugh, as you look straight into his sparkling eyes. "I'm pretending I didn't hear that. Two fucking months? You better not joke about things like that." you grin, hugging him tightly. "Venice is waiting for us, then. I promised that I'm gonna take you there for a whole ass week, and now I have an occasion to do that."

"Mm, of course. Just tell me when" he wraps his arms around you, looking down at you. "And, you are. Three years since we kissed, and you don't remember anniversaries like that?"

Your face flush in a second when he says that; before that, none of you mentioned things like that. It was easier to… forget those moments of weakness between you two than talk about them. In your mind, it would only complicate between you two, and you didn't want that, considering… basically everything about your lives.

You were best friends, but maybe you wouldn't get along as lovers? Things like that happened, and you would hate to lose him. He was with you since highschool, so now it was seventh year of your friendship, and it was long. Kyle Garrick was your rock, someone you could count on. So, naturally, you were scared to do things that would go beyond friendship. Next thing, him being in military, it would be… hard, to do things long distance, even if you were willing to try.

And, probably most important point of all – you were only kissing. It's not like he would suddenly have feelings for you, when he continued to do that without confessing, right?

"We kissed a lot. So, forgive me for that" you manage to mumble, looking away for a second, what makes him laugh.

"'Suppose you're right, but we haven't kissed in a while" he nods slowly, still looking into your eyes. "But, I remember that. Party in your parents' house, we were sitting right by the pool. Rings a bell?"

You open your mouth a little.

How, the fuck, he remembers that?

He was wasted. At least, you thought he was wasted, so he wouldn't remember anything. You both laughed about your mutual friend stupidity, where he mixed pure vodka, wine and beer; he vomited like a cat. The rest of your friends were taking care of him, and you two were completely out of people sight, chit-chatting about literally everything. It was fun, it was just pure back then, and somehow, you two got… closer.

Way closer than you ever imagined to be with him – his gaze was on your lips, and his responses got shorter, as he was into something else than a conversation. Before you could say anything, he grabbed your chin, and kissed you, hard, like he was a starved man.

And there was no way that you wouldn't respond to this; you returned the kiss, your hand grasping his thigh for support. This didn't last long though, as your kiss was interrupted by Kelly that asked for help in cleaning the house – so, naturally, you went to help her.

He acted like nothing happened the next day though, so you acted like this too, in order to not make this awkward.

Now, it seemed like he remembers everything.

"I thought…"

He scoffs.

"Just because I don't talk about it, doesn't mean I don't remember." he murmurs, tilting his head to the side. "In general we don't talk about those kisses, yeah? I noticed."

"It's hard to not notice that" you quip, and that makes him roll his pretty eyes with a smile. "What? I'm just sayin'!"

"Yeah. And I'm sometimes wondering why are we not talking about it."

"Well" you chuckle, looking away for a moment. "Mostly, we're friends, Kyle. So, if I'm the one that has to guess, it's probably because we don't want to… Ruin it. What we have" you explain, in the probably simplest words possible. "And sometimes, kissing just… happens. Mostly when we're drunk."

He raises his eyebrow though, looking at you with shocked expression, like he wants you to say it again because he can't quite believe it.

"We're not just friends, and you know it. We haven't been for a while" he shrugs, and he makes it sound like it's the most obvious thing in the whole world. "You don't want to admit it, but we're not just friends."

"So, friends with benefits, then? Or friends who occasionally kiss?" you raise your eyebrow too, mimicking him.

"What? No, I didn't-"

"-because the last time I checked, you haven't asked me out or anything. It's not like I don't want to admit it, you're not admitting it either."

Garrick takes a breath and he grips your waist tight. Even if it's uncomfortable, it had to be said; you don't want to call it anything, but friends, trying to grasp onto that last strings of pure friendship, before…

Before what?

So many possibilities what could grow out of it.

"Why do you think I moved here?" he asks, so suddenly that you blink a few times, as he catches you off-guard.

"What?"

"Answer me." his tone is firm, like he demands an answer.

"I don't know. Maybe you had enough of boring UK, so you've decided to copy your best friend?"

He gives you a polite look; he seems amused despite it, though.

"Because of you. I moved here, because of you."

You can't help but feel stupid right now, when he tells you that. It seems like the simplest reason why he is here in the first place; because of you. Yet, that vision seemed funny every time when you've thought about it, so it wasn't an option to you. More of a… wild imagination.

To this moment, at least. Kyle Garrick was nothing but proving you a point, that you were mistaken in so many parts of your life that you wonder what else you could be wrong.

"I wanted to do this for a while, but you know how military is. Constantly being sent to places, not having even time for yourself to think. Not even to mention finding somewhere to live near you in Italy." he shakes his head to himself, before he looks at you, once again.

His gaze is full of… emotions. Positive ones; hope, happiness, something that makes you feel at peace, and makes you feel excited in the same time. It's such an indescribable feeling, when you look at him, and he shows it all. Heart on his sleeve.

"My point is. Always wanted to do something with… this" he points at you and him. "Ask you out, whatever that would help us go through this, but the time wasn't right. Either you had a date with someone, or you just were busy, or I was deployed, it's…" he laughs, not quite believing how everything was against you two; you join him in that.

"I would cancel date for you, and you know it, Kyle" you whisper, smiling softly.

"Well, I didn't know that back then, pardon" he nudges you playfully, making you sit on the couch with him; specifically, on his lap. "Someone pretty like you ain't exactly my league, you know."

You let out a huff.

It is irritating to even hear that he could really think that way; does that man ever looks in the mirror? Kyle, in your eyes at least, is the equivalent of beauty, and maybe, just maybe you are a little biased, but everyone would tell him this. Little wrinkles around his adorable eyes that he had always when he smiled, or his perfectly shaped face, like a work of Michael Angelo. The smile that he was known for. Smile that you love. Smile that makes your heart melt every time, and every bad thought is brushed immediately. His delicate hands that despite his tough work in military, always brought you comfort.

For fuck's sake, you can even write a whole essay about his body and lips, but in a soft moment like you two have right now, it wouldn't be something appropriate.

"I would say otherwise." you shrug, your thumb caressing the side of his face. His facial hair grew a little since the last time that you saw him, so it stings a little, but you don't mind that.

"Well, you don't get to say things like that, pretty." he sticks out his tongue, and you automatically roll your eyes. "Boys were jealous, you know? Of those letters you sent to me. Every time we got to pick up our mail, I had something. They asked if I bribed you to do this or something." he chuckles.

It makes your heart flutter; you indeed were writing to him, every time that he was deployed and you knew where to write, with hope that's gonna be delivered to him. It was like a conversation over a phone that rarely happened, so letters became your friend, when you could write down every little thing you wanted to say to him. Old fashioned? Much so, but it's easier than trying to call him, no?

Sometimes you thought you could easier get to call the Pope than Kyle – and with letters, you had more certainty that he will get everything, sooner or later.

And, you wouldn't forget so many things if you would write them before waiting on call with your best friend.

"Well, proud to say I wasn't bribed. Only missed your annoying ass."

Kyle grins widely, nodding.

"That's what I told 'em. And, other thing."

You raise your eyebrow.

"Other thing?"

He, once again, nods.

"That I want to take you out on a date. Real one, when I'll have time. And, I have now." he added quickly, like you were about to interrupt him. "So, I'm asking you, love, do you want to go out with me? On a real deal thingy, without… acting, like we are only friends. We are not."

You can't help but laugh; this man had you in chokehold for a good time right now, and now, you are just finding out that he actually told his friends that he wants to… take you out? When the time is right? Hell, it felt like a Keeping Up With Kardashians episode, not your life. Mostly because you don't have so much luck with your love life, nor with friends becoming your lovers, yet…

Yet, Kyle was the exception to it all. Sweet one because when he was looking you with those innocent eyes, you were on the cloud nine. All smiling, like an idiot that won the lottery.

It was kinda this way.

"I want to, yeah."

And you can't even add anything else if you want to… because just like the first time, Kyle grabs your chin, and kisses you. Hungrily, like he was afraid that someone would take you from him, even if it's impossible.

Your heart almost jumps out of your chest, when he smiles against your lips because you're the happiest person alive. Kissing him feels like observing the fireworks on the night sky when you were a kid; mesmerizing, addicting, making you want more of that sweet poison. It's almost amusing how long you've waited for another kiss to happen – his lips belonged on yours, and that was a fact.

The only difference between that kiss and the others?

You know that you will go out on a date, you know that both of you are willing to try to make something out of this friendship, other than a "friendly" kisses.

It makes your heart go wild, honestly. Younger you wouldn't believe that, not in a million years; younger version would probably laugh at you, thinking you're making a joke. What is beautiful about this situation is the fact that Kyle Garrick, Gaz for his comrades, was more serious about this date than about anything in his life.

"So what you had in mind to bake? Before we got a little… carried away." you ask, when your forehead is against his after this little make-out session.

At first, Kyle looks at you like he doesn't know about you are talking about, at all. Before you could answer, his face lights up, and he lets out a little ooh.

"Well." he laughs. "I don't know. I lied."

"You lied?" you raise your eyebrow, holding back a laugh that lingers on your tongue. "Sugar was the main reason you came here in the first place, loverboy."

"Loverboy, huh?" he smirks, as he kisses your cheek a few times, lovingly. It's like he wants you addicted to him already, even if he doesn't say it out loud. You just know. "Yeah, I lied, love. Needed a reason to see you and have this conversation, honestly."

"You could just tell me that we needed to talk. I really thought that you're gonna bake something and you'd share, ya know?" you tease, kissing the tip of his nose.

"Mmm, it wouldn't have that dramatic effect, if I'm bein' honest with you." he shrugs, and that makes you grin, widely. "What do you want to eat, though? Cookies seems good to bake together, if you're hungry."

"Mmm… cookies. Chip chocolate ones?" you suggest, knowing that this man just loves them to the core.

"Yes. Abso-fucking-lutely." he points at you, and then, practically runs to the kitchen, with you in his arms, bridal style.

And when you observe how he prepares everything, you think how lucky you got to have a best friend like that. Best friend who gets excited on the thought of chocolate chip cookies, when you just made out five minutes earlier.

Best friend that was on the way to be your lover, now.

#gazfest #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick #kyle gaz garrick mw2 #kyle gaz garrick fluff #kyle gaz garrick #cod #cod x reader #friends to lovers #kyle garrick x you #mw2 #call of duty gaz #call of duty

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lurkingshan · 6 months

Text

I Feel You Linger in the Air: Novel vs Drama

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Happy IFYL special day! While I wait (not so) patiently for the special episode to become available for international viewers, I thought I would stop being lazy and get around to writing up my thoughts on the adaptation choices of the drama now that I’ve finally had a chance to read the original novel.

First, let me just say: the novel is so fun. I’m so glad folks like @clairedaring and @pharawee talked about it on here and @waitmyturtles read it first and told me to jump on it, because I’ve had a really hard time with poorly translated y novels before and was definitely skeptical. But the story was excellent and the English translation was really solid, so a great time was had by all and I wasn’t even salty about spending eighteen American dollars on it. I didn’t think the novel was perfect (turtles can attest I had a few LOUD complaints) but it was a very enjoyable read. Shoutout to @bengiyo, @neuroticbookworm, and @wen-kexing-apologist as well for listening to me rant about Tee’s choices as I made my way through the novel. Bonus: if you have the chance to read this novel while vacationing in Thailand surrounded by plumeria trees and romantic scenery, I highly recommend.

So, with that established, let’s talk about the adaptation! Adapting novels to a visual medium always comes with a lot of choices, and it’s not easy to make everything translate effectively. On the other hand, a live action drama can make some of what’s on the page feel even more vivid and new elements can be introduced that add to the canon. I’m on the record as both loving this show and feeling like there were some significant missteps in the writing, so I really wanted to understand the source material and how some of those choices were made. So here’s your spoiler alert for IFYL’s adaptation: it’s a real mixed bag of choices from our dear frenemy Tee Bundit, and all in service of one clear goal.

I Feel You Linger in the Air, but Make It Sadder!

I’m going to break down the details below, but this is the TL; DR right here. Every choice Tee made in this adaptation was in service of transforming a relatively light and often comedic time travel romp into a story of deep melancholy and a thorough examination of queer pain. This is Tee’s whole schtick, so we can hardly be surprised; and yet I was kind of taken aback by how stark the difference in these stories felt even as a lot of the plot stayed the same. During the drama’s airing @respectthepetty talked about how this show was just too damn sad for her, and I gotta say, she was definitely picking up what Tee was putting down. YMMV on how sad you like your romance, but Tee Bundit is a very sad boy indeed.

Jom

gif by @junghaesin

Let’s start here, because this is definitely my biggest grievance with Tee: he removed most of Jom’s personality from the book in order to give us a flatter, sadder version of him that fit better with a much more melancholy vision for this story. As it turns out, Jom was originally written to be smart, sassy, and very funny (h/t to @stuffnonsenseandotherthings whose post on this really got me interested in reading to see the difference). Novel Jom is a smartass who never misses the opportunity to work in a salty comment or express his frustration when things aren’t going his way, and he’s such an active character. He does not just sit back and let things happen to him; he thinks and he struggles and he tries. By comparison, show Jom just feels… vaguely confused, mildly depressed, and wildly passive most of the time. This is by no means a knock on Nonkul, who is a fantastic performer—these are clearly writing and directing choices and he is interpreting the character as instructed.

And it’s not just the removal of his core personality, either. Jom in the book has emotional intelligence and a stronger sense of connection to others. For one, he actually cares that Eung Phueng is his sister! Throughout the book, we see him dedicate time and energy to finding ways to care for his sister despite their different social stations; this dynamic is completely absent from the show, where Jom doesn’t even seem to remember Eung Phueng has his sister’s face most of the time. This was a major hole in the show and I still don’t really understand why Tee dropped the ball on it when there was so much material to drawn from in the book.

Winner: The novel, hands down. If you take nothing else away from this post, please take it as a recommendation to read the novel so you can experience Real Jom in all his sassy glory.

The Mythology

gif by @chickenstrangers

Now, I can’t really claim that either the novel or the show does a fantastic job with the mythology, because there’s a lot of hand waving in either case and some definite plot holes. But I will give the book credit for being upfront from the start: it didn’t really intend to explain it beyond giving us a little preamble about wormholes (yes, wormholes!) and for having Jom actually notice and care (and get very amusingly frustrated) that he didn’t understand what the wormhole wanted him to do or how to control it. He actually tried quite a lot in the book to figure it out, rather than just sitting around gazing morosely into the distance. In the end, the book tells us that Yai vowed to love Jom at first sight in every lifetime, which is a vow he made after the wormhole brought Jom to him but somehow affects the times that had already happened from our perspective. It’s a paradox that doesn’t fully make sense, but it is at least an explanation.

The show, by contrast, intentionally added layers to this mystery that it had no intention of resolving. The drawings opening up connections to the present, the ghostly visages haunting the characters, the glimpses of Jom in the future doing things we never saw in the original timeline, Mustache Yai kissing Jom in the water—all show inventions, and all setting up an expectation that some sense would be made of these clues. Which of course, never happened. Instead, these things were used to contribute to the spooky scary vibe and make everything feel sadder, and the show offered no explanation at all for why any of this happened.

Winner: It’s a draw since neither really did it well, but I’m staying salty with Tee for fucking with me.

Family Drama

gif by @thii-nii

Here is where we get into some of the stuff Tee added to the story that actually worked pretty well. One very smart adaptation choice: he made Yai and Eung Phueng siblings so that Yai would have a reason to be more involved in their household and able to interact much more with Jom in the early parts of the story; in the novel there is no connection between the households and Yai and Jom barely interact for the first several months after Jom arrives in the past. He also added a lot of family drama in the back half of the show: the struggles with Yai’s father, the shady uncle, the plot to force Yai to marry, and the big confrontation over Robert’s misdeeds are all show inventions, likely added both to pad out the story and make the relationship harder and sadder, and because he was looking for an alternate source of conflict since he was not doing Part 2 of the book (which takes place once Jom is yanked away again and shot back to the Commander Yai time period).

Another major change from the novel to the show: in the novel, Yai’s plans to go study abroad were already set before Jom even got there, not something he won as a consolation in a negotiation over marriage. Which has some implications I’ll get into in the next section.

Winner: The drama, where the family dynamics were much more thoroughly explored.

The Romance

gif by @loveisactivated

As I mentioned above, Tee made a smart choice in bringing Yai more firmly into Jom’s orbit early in the story, but unfortunately, he didn’t do much with that advantage and actually failed to use some of what the novel gave him to work with. In the novel, Jom is much more aware of the attraction between him and Yai, very attuned to Yai’s flirting and their age gap, very aware of his own growing attachment to Yai, and thinking through the implications of all of it as it grows, which is a more natural and believable build up to their romance than in the show, where Jom seems distracted and unaware of Yai’s affections until they suddenly start jumping each other. That lack of romantic development in the show (which we discussed even as it was airing) was not because the material was not there for Tee to use in the book; he simply had other priorities and neglected to build it properly in show time.

That said, I have to give major credit to Tee for how he handled the romance once our leads were together and intimately involved. First, he really brought some of the scenes that were in the book to life in a way that still has me shook, like Yai’s drunken poetry recitation (credit must also be given to Bright for his eye work in that and many other scenes, what a stunner). And on top of that, the drama has some of the best physical intimacy scenes I have ever seen in any drama, full stop, and that is nearly all Tee and his creative team. He used elements from a few scenes in the book, but he remixed and amplified them to be a lot more powerful, and certainly much more artful and sensual than the sex scenes in the book. That olive oil masturbation scene? The show gets full credit, and the way the direction, editing, and performances so vividly painted their attraction to each other still gives me shivers when I think about it.

But anyway, back to bitching about Tee: one of the scenes that really stuck out for me like a sore thumb in the romance arc in the show was when Yai learns he will be going abroad and he and Jom discuss it in a curiously flat and emotionless way, with Yai acting like it’s no big deal for them to be separated for three years. I mentioned above that this was a change from the book: in the novel Yai was already set to go abroad before he ever met Jom, it was not a new surprise that came about after they were together. They discuss Yai’s impending departure twice in the book; once when Jom is still only Yai’s majordomo, and then once again when they are lovers. As you can imagine, the emotional tenor of these two scenes are quite different. And Tee used the wrong one for the show! I almost threw the book at the wall when I realized I was reading the verbatim dialogue from that scene in the show in the context of Yai and Jom hardly knowing each other yet, and then again when I got to the second conversation that was actually appropriate for two lovers who do not want to be parted. That has to be one of the most senseless adaptation mistakes I have ever seen. Tee Bundit, what is wrong with you!!

Lastly for this section, I will just note that the very long, drawn out goodbyes between Yai and Jom are also a show invention. In the book, Jom gets yanked to the next time period with no warning shortly after they get together and begins his next adventure with another Yai. Since Tee was ending the show here in this time period, he went in a different direction, having Jom and Yai much more aware of Jom fading and anticipating a separation so that he could (say it with me) make everything sadder. His choice to wallow for two entire episodes in sorrow and melancholy and to put much heavier focus on Yai’s despair was entirely his own, and so very on brand.

Winner: It’s a draw. The book definitely writes the romantic arc more holistically and doesn’t have any of the missteps the drama does, but the show is so artful and the parts it gets right are so good I will remember them for the rest of my life. And I can’t pretend I’m not an angst monster at heart, so Tee’s sad af vision totally worked on me.

Sides and Queer Community

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Here is where Tee’s adaptation really shines, and I know others have discussed these changes before so I won’t go too deep on the details. But I absolutely have to give Tee props for taking tiny threads for these side characters in the books and building them into whole people that we actually care about. Especially in the case of Ming and Fong Kaew, Tee really made something of their extremely thin book stories to turn them into fan favorite characters with real growth arcs. I do think the book was better in the way it handled the fated connection between Fong Kaew and Khamsaen, but everything else about Fong Kaew’s story was deepened by the show. And Tee gets credit for adding so many meaningful stories for women characters in the first place, let alone developing a lesbian romance for Eung Pueng and Maey. He picked up on a tiny bit of subtext for underdeveloped characters in the book and ran with it, and it really enhanced the story.

He also used side characters as a means to make this story feel all around more queer, not only by including additional queer romances but by building out a real sense of community and solidarity among the queer characters. Not only the addition of nods to real queer history, but the speakeasy, James’s explicit queerness, and Nuey the Green Queen are all Tee additions to the canon that really enhanced the story.

Winner: The drama and it’s not close. Well done, Tee!

That Ending

gif by @dragonsareawesome123

One of my biggest interests in reading the novel was seeing how the ending with modern Yai is explained in the original source material, because I found the drama version of that scene so lacking. Well, it turns out, the novel did pretty much the same thing! The ending sequence of the book is even shorter than the scene in the show and similarly offers zero explanation for this new version of Yai or how he knows Jom before they jump each other and the story concludes. The main narrative ends there and the book then tacks on an epilogue explaining who this new Yai is, and it reads like an afterthought. Honestly, it felt to me like the writer ran out of steam and just didn’t bother to finish the story, and Tee did exactly the same thing. Which is kind of infuriating, because being able to fix stuff like that is one of the best things about a good adaptation.

Winner: Absolutely no one, my kingdom for a proper ending to this story.

gif by @pharawee

So, my conclusions? 1) Tee Bundit is the saddest creator in Thai bl, hands down; 2) It’s a draw between which version of this story is better. The novel and drama both have different strengths and significant flaws, but both versions are compelling and had me on the edge of my seat. I highly recommend the book to anyone who is missing the show and wants another chance to revisit these characters, plus the added bonus of seeing Jom wrangle Commander Yai, something we are unlikely to ever see on our screens (though hope springs eternal besties!). If you do decide to give it a read, come talk to me about it!

#i feel you linger in the air #ifylita #shoutout also to all the excellent giffers for this show #the tumblr gif search is hopelessly broken but i wanted y’all’s beautiful work in this post anyway #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

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mcufan72 · 4 months

Text

Sugar and Cinnamon

Loki x female reader (AU) / 18+

Chapter 2

Chapter 1 / Preview here

Warnings: none so far, contains fluff, angst, morally grey stuff and smut (eventually), it's a slow-burn love story

Loki didn't show much of a reaction towards your name which was obviously a stage name. You would never use your real name and you wouldn't reveal it either.

“Fine! That's a really…cute name,” and he couldn't avoid a small grin. “I'll see you then for my business dinner next week. Good night, Sugar. It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Good night, Mr. Larsson. See you soon.” you smiled brightly at him, bathing one more time in the stare of his amazing blue eyes. It wasn't easy to resist his obvious charm. He was the purest temptation and you couldn't understand why he would book an escort lady when he could have any other woman without paying for it. It shouldn't be that hard for him. Women loved to throw themselves on filthy rich and super sexy, good-looking guys. But it was none of your business and you wouldn't complain about him booking you. It saved your job and that was all you were interested in.

He drained his whisky and left. After you said your goodbyes you waited half an hour before you left the bar, too. You always did it this way just to make sure that your client definitely was gone before you left the nightclub yourself. It reduced the risk of your client following you and allowed Walker to keep an eye on the leaving client while he waited outside for you by the car. Also when Walker drove you home he always made a detour to ensure no one would follow the limousine. You never knew if a client had bad intentions or not and Walker would never allow something would happen to you or a client to find out where you live.

Back home you undressed and kicked your shoes off with a sigh of relief. Your feet were massively hurting from the fucking high heels and you would never understand why so many women wear this torturous footwear voluntarily and with pure joy. You were glad you had to wear them just for your dates and just for a few hours. You preferred wearing trainers. They were comfortable and fit any outfit. You headed to the bathroom of your small but cosy apartment and took a hot shower. After a date with a client, you always felt the urgent need to wash the evening off of your skin.

With still damp hair, dressed in a fresh sleep shirt and pyjama bottoms you lay down in bed but you couldn't fall asleep right away. Your thoughts always went back to him. To Luke Larsson. You stared at the ceiling, clawing your duvet and reviewed the meeting with him. You have met a lot of men in the last few months. They all had been nice and decent, most of them extremely good-looking, and they complimented you and enjoyed your company and some of them brought you flowers as a sign of appreciation for spending time with them.

But Luke Larsson was different. Dark, distant, cold. And so damn beautiful as if he were not from this world. You believed him when he said he wasn't interested in flirting with you. He made himself very clear and you definitely saw it the same way. And he would never bring you flowers. He didn't seem to be this type of guy. Nevertheless, you were afraid you could lose the professional distance to him. And curse on your weakness for tall men with broad shoulders in black suits. You growled angrily, put on your sleeping mask, turned to your side and fell asleep.

For the rest of the week, you were fully booked and it guaranteed your income. And it had to. Among other things, invoices were soon due. As arranged you had no bookings for the weekend and so you did the groceries, cleaned your apartment and you also did some work and research for your studies. You started studying again three months ago. You didn't understand anymore why you had given it up years ago but back then you thought you would do the right thing. It wasn't but you couldn't turn back the time. On Sunday you visited your mum like you did every Sunday and you loved nothing more than spending time with her together. You wished you could tell her about your problems and your job she definitely wouldn't approve. Not to mention the fear she would have for you. All of this would break her heart and you couldn't let that happen. And by the way, what should you tell her? ‘Hey Mum, your baby is an Escort now. Are you proud of me?’ You weren't even proud of yourself that you had ended up there so how should she? So you kept your mouth shut, pretending everything was fine.

The next days were business as usual. Studying in the morning, dates with lonely gentlemen and escorting them to events in the evening. Day in, day out until the day had come, you would accompany Luke Larsson to the business dinner he had booked you for.

You were nervous. Your hands were trembling and you had to renew your mascara twice because you weren't able to apply it properly. Why were you so nervous? It was an appointment with a client like any other. Why did he make you feel like this? He had no business to do so! How dare he? You made yourself smile with these thoughts. You fixed your hair in a tight hair bun with the knot deep in your neck and added a small black fabric rose at its side. You put on an elegant, flared and high-waisted black midi skirt which emphasized your waist perfectly, a golden sleeveless top with a cowl neck and small straps and your black high heels with the red soles. Finally, you applied some perfume to your neck and dark-red lipstick to your lips. And there she was, looking at you from the mirror: Sugar, ready to meet Mr. Larsson and his business partners.

************

“You can follow the rules?” he asked you and stopped abruptly before you two entered the restaurant.

“Of course, Mr Larsson. I'm sure I already know what you want to tell me. I keep quiet, keep smiling and I won't say anything. I'll just sit there, being your arm candy and enjoy the evening. Discretion is my job and you're paying me for it. Did I forget anything?” You smiled tantalizingly at him. Somehow you had fun teasing him. He rolled his eyes and the tiniest hint of a smile curved one corner of his mouth. He bit the inside of his cheek before he spoke again.

“ Perfect. Exactly what I expect from you.”

“Of course, Sir.” Loki raised his brows. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear this word from your mouth. Maybe in another context…

“But there's one more thing to clarify…I can't introduce you as Sugar. Do you have a surname for me? “

“You can introduce me as Miss Black,” you replied objectively. A stage name, of course, but as black as your soul and your future.

The dinner was beyond boring and you didn't even listen anymore to the things the people, sitting at the dining table, were talking about. It was something about international and intergalactic security agreements. Even if you would listen, you wouldn't be allowed to participate.

Luke sat next to you and looked very stylish in his dark grey suit, the black shirt and the black silk tie. The suit looked fabulously good, fit like a glove and you could see every well-trained muscle of his gorgeous body flexing whenever he moved. His flawless, beautiful face was framed by his obsidian curls, barely tamed by some hair wax. You had just one description for him: a god in a suit. If there were a god in this world then you were sure he must look like Luke Larsson. No doubt!

The girlfriends, fiancés and wives of the other guests were chatting about designer labels, purses and gowns and where to get them in Milano, Rome, Paris, London or Los Angeles and how they would make the credit cards of their spouses burn. You didn't want to participate in their conversation. How conversations like this pissed you off. You've already had your fill of all of this in your life. You had been long enough a spoiled girl like them, dolled up for the man who pretends to love you. And all of it was meaningless now. It had nothing to do with love. All of it had been just material. But of course, you kept smiling, that was what your client expected from you.

You poked around in your food and you pushed your broccoli from one side of the plate to the other. You weren't really hungry tonight but when on a dinner like this with four courses, you hardly could escape from these dishes. But you got paid for it and so you wouldn't complain. You just had picked up some scraps of conversation when you casually said:

“Sometimes it's just the simple things and needs nothing else than a comfortable atmosphere and an ingenious marketing strategy to get what you want.”

All of a sudden it got quiet around you at the table and all eyes were on you. Loki gave you the death stare and you swallowed thickly.

“I mean…I didn't mean…I'm sorry “, you stuttered and you grabbed your glass of water. Your throat felt dry like a desert and before you could talk more nonsense you took a sip of your beverage. You felt heat arising in your tummy and your cheeks blushed because of embarrassment. You replaced the glass on the table and stared down at your plate, Loki's eyes still fixed on you, the expression on his face a mixture of astonishment and annoyance. You felt awful and you knew there would be consequences. You just knew it.

“Maybe you're right, Miss Black”, said the host of this evening who had been introduced to you as Mr. Miller. “I really should think about it. “

You gave him a shy smile but you didn't say anything. You had lost any appetite. After the last course had been eaten, a dessert you didn't even touch, Loki grabbed your arm and tugged you slowly towards him.

“We need to talk! Now!” he growled quietly into your ear and you nodded. You followed him to the entrance hall of the restaurant without hesitation. You knew what would follow now.

“Would you please have the kindness to tell me what that was about?” he asked you, slightly annoyed but still respectful.

“I'm sorry Mr.Larsson. It won't happen again. I didn't do it on purpose.” you answered apologetically.

“I hope so. I don't pay you for participating in my conversations. You're just my escort. Did I make myself clear?” his tone was strict but still calm.

“Of course, Mr.Larsson. I got it.”

“Good. Otherwise I have to tell your boss that you can't follow the rules.”

“Please, don't Mr.Larsson. I need that job. It was just…I'm familiar with some kind of negotiation strategy. Forgive me for being unprofessional. I'm genuinely sorry.” You said and held his gaze.

How could he not forgive you especially because you were right about what you said? He didn't want to harm you or intend to get you in trouble with your agency. He immediately felt bad when he saw your guilt-ridden face. He already knew he wanted to meet you again and escort him to his next event, whatever event it might be. You were clever, eloquent, and naturally elegant. Additionally your bright eyes, your lush lips, your soft, shiny skin, and your beautiful legs he wished you would wrap around his waist, got him all hot and bothered. A deadly mixture of intelligence and sexyness and definitely a turn-on for him. And regardless of whether he wanted it or not, he sort of enjoyed your company.

“It's alright, Sugar. But please don't do it again.”

“I won't, Sir." Nope, he didn't want to hear that word from your mouth, not in this context.

“Shall we go back to the event?“ he asked you.

“Yes, that's why we're here”, you smiled at him, still embarrassed that you made this stupid mistake. You believed him that he wouldn't tell Rhea anything about what had happened but you were pretty sure he wouldn't book you for a further event. What was a pity actually because you liked his charm and his respectful and forgiving behaviour.

As announced, after dinner everyone was invited to join the dance floor in the ballroom next to the restaurant. Drinks were served and a DJ greeted the guests with music from jazz to classic rock and pop songs and also love songs. Loki and you stood at the edge of the dance floor, already filled with dancing people, and watched them move to the music. The next song was a more romantic song and many of the dancers left the dance floor again. To the song that was played now, you could dance a waltz and when you heard the first bars of the song you began to swing to the music.

“Tell me, do you dance, Sugar? A waltz I mean.” and he looked at you. Flashbacks of Asgardian ballrooms came back to his mind when he was a mischievous, innocent young Prince, playing harmless, funny tricks on others, falling in love for the first time and many more times after that. The love had passed but his love for dancing remained and he hadn't danced for a very long time.

“I do”, you answered softly. His question surprised you. You didn't expect him to like dancing. He seemed to be too cold and emotionless for that but maybe you were completely wrong. You loved to dance, for you dancing was emotion, lightness and passion but you hadn't danced for a very long time.

“May I have this dance then?” He asked you politely and offered you his hand.

“Yes, of course, “ you said to him with a warm, bright smile.

He led you to the dance floor, put his right hand on the middle of your back and took your right hand in his left while you placed your left hand on his shoulder. Immediately you two formed a unit like you were made for each other and never before has someone danced with you in such perfect harmony. Your bodies close to each other, he floated with you across the dance floor. His posture was utter perfection, his muscles strong and solid and tightly pressed to your body. It felt good to be so close to him, too good but in his strong arms, tenderly holding you, you felt kind of safe. His breath fanned over your face and your cleavage and he smelled so good. You loved his scent, fresh and warm and spicy, something you still couldn't define. His embrace, even if it had nothing to do with sympathy or anything related to it, comforted you. A feeling you truly had missed. But you had to be careful, you really should keep a professional distance.

You felt so perfect in his arms. Soft, warm, fragile. The way your body melded into his and the touch of your hand on his shoulder, your other hand in his, evoked a feeling in him he thought was long gone. He wanted to protect you, and take care of you. Worse, he wanted to make you his. But that was a no-go. He had to keep this professional but it was so difficult not to be enchanted by your grace and your beguiling scent, that perfect mixture of your perfume and your natural scent. Why did you have to feel so damn good in his arms?

Too soon the song was over. You both wished it would just be the two of you, alone, dancing the night away. But it wasn't and both of you kept this wish buried deep inside of yourselves.

“Would you please excuse me, Mr Larsson? I need to go to the ladies' room, freshening up myself and my makeup“, you told him kindly, loosening yourself from his grip. He didn't want to let go of you but he had to.

“Of course, Sugar, take your time”, he replied and you left the ballroom.

You needed a short break. Your head was spinning and it wasn't just because of the dance. He had made you sweat. With the dance, the way he held you in his arms and his pure masculinity. You stood at a sink and opened the faucet to let some cold water run over your wrists. You had to stay focused on your job and the professional distance to him. You dried your hands with a paper towel, tossed it into the bin and decided to go outside for some fresh air on the location’s veranda before you would go back to Luke. You put your hands on the border of the terrace, kicked off your high heels and took some deep breaths to calm down your nerves and to get rid of the inner heat.

Loki wasn't sure if it had been a good idea to dance with you. He enjoyed it, indeed. Maybe way too much and he had a feeling that it could get very difficult to see only the escort lady in you and not the woman behind that facade. He knew there was more about you. Secrets, fears, rage, vulnerability. Your eyes gave it away. There was an indelible fire in them. But who was he to judge you? He had his own issues and was still working on it. Nonetheless, the urge to learn more about you grew.

He was still waiting for you but you obviously hadn't returned to the ballroom. It has been a while since you left and so he decided to look for you. You weren't inside the building but finally, he found you on the terrace. Alone and barefoot, your back facing him, your high heels laying right next to you. He grinned, amused and walked slowly toward you. Your sight touched his heart. You seemed a little lost.

“Here you are. I already missed you.”

“Now you've found me”, you answered smilingly, turning your head around to look at him. “I needed some fresh air “, you explained apologetically.

“It's alright, Sugar, I was just missing you. There's no reason for justification.”

He stood next to you now, looked down at your bare feet and the high heels on the floor and smiled at you.

“Do your feet hurt?”, he asked softly.

“Not in the slightest “, you answered ironically and laughed lightly at him. It made him laugh too. He loved your attitude and the sassy undertone in your voice.

“Sorry for being unprofessional again but yes…the little beasts are damn hurting me. They look good at our feet but they're pure torment”, you laughed lightly and wanted to put them on again.

“For me, you don't have to put them on right now. Give your feet some more rest. I adore your ability to walk and dance in them properly”, Loki answered.

“Aren't you freezing, with your bare arms?”, he wanted to know.

“No, I'm fine, thank you”, you replied kindly. It was just the half of the truth. You were freezing but somehow you enjoyed the cool evening breeze. It was refreshing and cooled your inner heat down and cleared your mind. Before you got aware of it, Loki was draping his jacket around your shoulders. It felt like a warm embrace and you truly appreciated his gesture. It has been a long time since a man paid this kind of attention to you.

“Thank you, Mr.Larsson. That's very kind of you”, you said gratefully.

“No issue. And call me Luke, please“, he replied softly. He observed you for a few seconds before he asked you carefully a question he didn't expect you to answer entirely.

“Why are you an escort lady? What made you choose this job?”

“Why do you care? Does it bother you?”

“It doesn't bother me. I'm just wondering. Please don't get me wrong, Sugar but you seem to not belong there, in an escort agency I mean.” Loki refused to imagine you with other men, wanting to touch you, lusting after you and perhaps sharing a bed with you, legs tangled under rumpled sheets. If something was bothering him, then that.

“The answer is a simple one, I guess. I got fired from my old job, I needed a new one quickly because I've invoices to pay and no chance to be picky so this is how I ended up here. That's life and shit happens. End of the story.” you answered quickly and without any ado. No one was to blame for the wrong decisions and faults you had made in your life and there was no need for pity or good advice. The tone in your voice made it clear that you won't tell any more details so Loki didn't ask you further questions about it. Also, you changed the topic immediately.

“I should have eaten dessert…now I'm craving it. Can we go inside and look for some dessert? Please!” you asked sweetly.

“Dessert! Seriously?“ Loki retorted wonderingly.

“Yes, dessert! Did you eat your dessert earlier?” you wanted to know.

“No! I hate desserts! “

“You don't. Who hates dessert? Everyone loves it!” and you smiled unbelievingly at him.

“I hate it,” he repeated.

“Liar! Come, let's go and look for desserts.” You put your high heels on and with his jacket still wrapped around your shoulders, you grabbed his hand and tugged him with you towards the restaurant. Loki shook his head in disbelief, grinning and he couldn't resist your incredible charm and adorable excitement for some dessert and let you drag him with you.

*************

After Walker had driven you home, you emptied your letterbox and took the stairs to your apartment on the second floor. You closed the entrance door, kicked your shoes off, gave the letters a closer look and opened them. You hadn't expected that, it hit you out of nowhere. How quickly tables could turn. And all of a sudden you were in a situation you never wanted to be in. You needed more money and you knew exactly what that meant. Bookings for the weekends and…

The sheer thought of it made you tremble. But that would be the very last option to get more money quickly, the very last thing you would do and you put that thought aside for now. And anyway, there was only one man imaginable for you, you would ask for it. But unfortunately, he had told you right from the beginning, there would never be more than escorting him to functions. Tonight you couldn't sleep because you didn't know what to do now and despair and fear came over you. First thing in the morning you called Rhea.

“Good morning, dear. How was your evening with Mr Larsson yesterday?” she wanted to know.

“Good morning, Rhea. It was a wonderful evening. Mr.Larsson is a real gentleman and it was wonderful to spend time with him. I had an enjoyable evening and I really like him. But this is not the reason for my call. Rhea, I've decided to accept your great offer and I'd like to get bookings for the weekends too.” This phone call wasn't easy for you.

“Great, dearest, but how come? The weekends are holy to you. Not that I would complain. It's solely your decision. I'm just curious,” Rhea said wondering.

“My landlord has increased my monthly rent,” you told her with unease.

“Mm-hmh, that sucks but sometimes I think you live in a Palace instead of a two-room apartment, dear. Is the rent increase really that high?” Rhea joked but her question was still one of concern.

“I wish I would, Rhea. But yes, I need more money now. It's not only the rent for my apartment …my mother's nursing home has increased the monthly accomodations- and maintenance costs, too. So I have no choice…I'm available for weekend dates now, too. I just wanted to let you know.” You swallowed down upcoming tears and the lump in your throat.

“I'm so sorry, dear. That's really annoying. I add you to the weekend appointments then... Oh and by the way… Mr. Larsson has booked you already for his next event. It seems he was very satisfied with your company, and I have got the impression he's very impressed by you. I'm delighted to have him as a new regular client for you." Rhea said.

“He did?” You couldn't believe it because you thought he would never book an escort again who definitely hadn't followed the rules and made stupid mistakes.

“Yessss…and it also seems he's just interested in you.” You could literally see Rhea grinning from ear to ear at the other end of the phone.

“Yeah, sure!”, you answered ironically.

“Maybeeee…he's your prince on the white horse…” Rhea couldn't suppress a chuckle.

She would love that for you like she would love it for any other of her escort ladies. But somehow you had a special place in her heart. Your whole attitude and your lovely behaviour whenever she talked to you, eye to eye or on the phone, made her think you didn't belong there. For her, you seemed to be too adorable and too decent for that job.

But you didn't need a prince on a white horse though. They didn't even exist. And if they existed you would go for a dark prince on a warhorse who would ride together with you through hell and back. But these were just dreams.

You needed money, lots of money. And in your job, there was only one way to earn more…and for you, Luke would be the only one you would dare to ask, the only one imaginable.

🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃🌹🥂🌃

The song that inspired the dancing scene:

Tag list:

@lokisprettygirl @faesimps @anukulee @fictive-sl0th @fandxmslxt69 @chantsdemarins @justjoanne242 @gruftiela @stupidthoughtsinwriting @wheredafandomat @lovingchoices14 @lokixryss @huntress-artemiss @smolvenger @km-ffluv

#loki #loki x female reader #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x reader fluff #loki laufeyson #loki x reader fic #loki x reader angst #loki x reader smut #loki x female reader smut #loki x female reader fluff #loki x female reader angst #loki x fem!reader #Spotify

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ohtobeleah · 2 years

Note

Hangman would have seen you and Rooster hugging tho. Jealousy, jealousy?

For those who haven’t been following along—This is just a really fun series I’ve been concepting. The Masterlist is here.

Oh for sure he did! And he wasn't going to not bring it up the second he had a chance to either. Jake Sersin had seen his wife in the arms of Bradley Bradshaw out the front of the Hard Deck. He’d seen a few seconds of what could only be described as a friendly encounter with an acquaintance. A nice acquaintance at that. But there was never any malice intention or underlying feelings. But what did Jake know? Only what he could see and what he saw was his wife in the arms of another man. Someone other than himself.

“You know I saw you and Hawk at the Hard Deck Bradshaw.” His muscles hurt but he’d never admit it. Up, down, up, down. Right on cue every time. “Care to explain why you’re all over my wife?” Rooster cast a shadow down over Hangman. His body eclipsed the sun that beamed down on his back. Smirking, Rooster couldn’t help but to chuckle. Did he smell jealousy? Perhaps.

“Picturing me thick as thieves with your ex-wife not sitting right with you Hangman?” Rooster teased as he watched Hangman doing his push ups after Maverick had got tone on him, Phoenix and Bob. Crouching down as he let his forearms rest on his thigh. “We were just having a chat, nothing more to it man.”

“What happened between you two anyway?” Bob, the Weapon Systems Officer is questioned between his staggered push ups. “Lieutenant Commander Seresin seems nice, don’t really know why she’d go for a guy as egotistical as you to begin with Bagman.”

“You’ll never be able to love me more than you love flying.” Scrambling around the house as you threw things into the open luggage bag. You’d been called for a last minute assignment. “You're reckless and careless, you act like you don’t have someone waiting for you to come home!” Jake had only just gotten home, his first air to air kill confirmed mere minutes after he’d set foot stateside. “I can’t take this anymore, I can’t breathe Jake! I can't—“ And it was safe to say you weren’t taking the news well at all.

“It’s my job! when you married me that was the deal! A package!” Jake Seresin was missing a vital point in your argument. He couldn’t understand why you were so upset. He was home, he was alive. But it was the thought of losing him to his own selfishness that had finally eaten away at you enough to break you.

“But it’s not just a job Hangman!” You never really used his call sign, so to hear you say it with such venom made his heart break. “It’s the way you do your job!! You fly like every last training session is your last! Every mission, every task is your last. Everyone says the same damn thing too! You don’t play well with others, you don’t fit on the goddamn team so why the hell should I expect them to risk their lives to save your sorry arse if something were to happen?”

“Y/n—baby.” It was hard to have a counter argument prepared when Jake didn’t think he’d done anything wrong to begin with. Trying to keep you from leaving, his hands on either side of your shoulders. “I’m here? I’m okay! What's the problem, love?”

“The problem Jake is that they wouldn’t!” Heavy, that’s what Jake would call the atmosphere around you. He’d remember the look of hopelessness in your eyes, the love that you had for him. Immense and fierce. You loved him so much it scared you to the point where you had to leave for your own sanity. “And suddenly it’ll just be me, and I’d rather it just be me on my own accord then for you to be taken away from me because you’ve burnt all your bridges to the point no one will want to save you!”

“We just needed some time apart, and haven't really found a way back yet.” Jake really did like to downplay what he unintentionally put you through. Simply because he wasn’t ready to stop being the best of the best. He knows that confirmed air to air kill was the final straw that broke you—he could have easily let it go, but he didn’t. Unnecessarily endangering himself for the thrill of the chase. “And she is a nice person—“ Huffing as he finished his push-ups, Jake groaned as he stood to his feet. Rooster doing the same, staring each other day. “Hug my wife like that again and I’ll break every goddamn bone in your body.”

“Ex wife—Hangman, she’s your ex wife.” Bradley snickered as he pushed his aviator sunglasses up the bridge of his nose with a wicked shit eating smirk. “Hawk can do whatever, and whoever she wants.” Without so much as a glint of hesitation Jake was shoving at Roosters chest. His nostrils flaring with every intent of beating to life out of Bradley Bradshaw for even insinuating such a concept. You were his fucking wife. His.

“Hey!! Hey—!” It was only when you had come out to ask Hondo when Pete would be finishing up that you saw the confrontation going down. Jogging over, you couldn't really move all that quickly with your dress shoes on. You preferred to wear your service uniform more often than not. The tan looked good and was rather comfortable all things considered. But as you raced towards where Jake and Bradley stood puffing their chest and flaring their nostrils like baboons? A small part of you wished you’d just taken Mavericks offer on a more comfortable flight suit. Some old baggy one from the back of his collection. “Hey! Knock it off!”

At the sound of your voice, the sweet sound of fire and grace, Jake's shoulders settled a little. His anger dissipated. Stepping back and away from rooster as you caught his attention, all of it. Approaching with a huff after running across the tarmac, you took a deep breath in, hands resting on your knees as you bent over dramatically. Heart rate higher then you would have liked it to have been.

“What the hell is going on? Huh?”

“Nothing Lieutenant Commander–” It wasn't hard to catch onto the tone Jake laced your title with. It had been the same way you had called him Lieutenant not a few hours prior. With a glare unmissable and a tight jaw clenched, you turned to Rooster who stood close by. Sending him a questioning look.

“Anything to add?” It wasn't something you took pleasure in, being authoritarian. You’d much rather just keep a low profile. But sometimes, pulling the rank card was the only thing you could do to get your point across, to remind people you were still a person to take seriously. “Lieutenant Bradshaw?”

“Not a word ma'am” Rooster played into it well, bouncing off Jake's ego a little too well. “We were just discussing independence, it seems as though some of us have forgotten that free will is a thing.” It did surprise you, not in the slightest bit. Of cause they were arguing over something stupid. It was always something stupid wasnt it.

“Rooster, why don't you take a walk.” You knew from your conversation with Hondo just minutes ago he was due to be up in the air in half an hour. “Cool off, clear your head or else Mav’s gonna send you packing.” You didn't give him a chance to respond as you turned on your heels, facing Hangman once again, eyes squinting as the sun beamed down, holding your hand up to shade your eyes. “Hangman–my office.”

“Yeah I think I’m good–” Shrugging you off Jake began to walk away, the group of stunned pilots, Phoenix, bob and Rooster all let their jaws slack a little at the confrontation unfolding. You may have been his ex wife but first and foremost in this moment you were his superior. To blatantly disrespect you like he did was unheard of behavior. Watching for a brief second as Jake pushed past you, his shoulder bumping into you as he did so.

“It wasn't a suggestion, Lieutenant!” Your voice strained as you raised it to something above what you were comfortable with. “My office, now!” Pausing his trajectory without so much as looking back, Jake changed the direction he was heading. Turning as he made his way to your office. Turning back to Rooster holding the bridge of your nose. “Don’t you have better things to be doing? I’m sure Lieutenant Kazanksy is around somewhere, go annoy her!”

***~***~***~***~***~

Slouched in one of the arm chairs by your desk, Jake watched as you stepped through the threshold of your office. Anger evident on your face as you stuck your tongue against your cheek. Seething. Slamming the door behind you without even flinching. It was needless to say it was very out of the ordinary for you to lose your cool like this, you would consider yourself to be a pretty easy going, level headed person. But when it came to all things Jake Seresin? Level headedness was always the first thing to go flying out the window.

“I'm sorry–”

“Cut the shit!” It stung like venom. Sitting on the edge of your desk as you ripped in. “You don't ever get to treat me with such disrespect, of all people who I thought would’ve been okay with taking a direct order, it would be you. Mr only naval aviator on active duty with a confirmed air to air kill.”

“I'm still getting used to the idea of you being a Commander, I slipped up, Ma’am.” Jake paused for a moment as his eyes trailed your body, biting his bottom lip gently as he pictures what might be hidden under your uniform. “I promise it won't happen again.”

“You know, I really do wonder what will be your last lie.” huffing softly in defeat you let your demeanor change. Dropping the attitude you hated having. You weren't an authoritative figure, you were simply just you. “But if you promise, I guess I'll just have to take your word won't I?” Nodding, Jake stood from his place in the chair near your desk, stepping closer as you pushed yourself a little further back on top of your desk. “What were you and Rooster really fighting about?” with your legs hanging over the side, Jake slipped in easily, one of your knees on either side of his left leg.

“You.” It came out with no hesitation as Jake let his hands linger along your hips.

“Me? I haven't done anything?” Realistically you hadn't. “How am I the problem here?”

“Please–I saw you and Bradshaw out the front of the Hard Deck.” Hangman wasn't willing to admit a lot of things, but there was one thing for sure. He was a very jealous man.

“You mean you saw me interacting with a friend, Jake you can't be serious.” Jake's grip on your hips got a little tighter as you dismissed his jealousy. Clenching his jaw as he looked at the ground. “You know we aren't together right? If I wanted to see other people I very well could.”

“Are you?” Jake finally met your gaze, his eyes just slightly glazed with what you could only describe as the beginning of tears. “Are you seeing anyone?” It was a heavier question than he ever thought it would be. To ask his wife, the love of his life if she was seeing someone new. Someone else besides him. “Because if you are, I'll respect it, just–just dont lie to me, that's all I ask.” His actions weren’t matching his words. Jake's hands slowly worked their way up your body, finding their home against your cheeks as he cupped your face in his hands. Softly, ever so gently caressing your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. “I'll wanna beat the ever living shit out of whoever gets to call you theirs but i'll respect your decision.” it made you chuckle, you couldn't help it. Deciding to just come clean, with honesty and your heart on your sleeve. Pulling out your dog tags that hid under your uniform. Your wedding band looped around the silver ball chain.

“I'm not seeing anyone you idiot, but i'm not seeing you either.” Jake couldn't hold back his smirk, pressing his lips against yours as he held you close to him in the palms of his hands. Your lips soft against his as he deepening the kiss with every passing second. Tongues dancing like they'd done this on an endless loop before. You’d missed this. This feeling. The feeling of being loved. Being needed. But as always, it was forever fleeting. “Jake–”

“I know I know–” With his eyes closed and his forehead resting against yours, Jake Seresin for a moment had you in his grasp again. “Professionalism in the workplace.” Pulling away with a sigh, Jake let his hands drop to your knees. “But off the clock, dinner?”

“You asked me last night.” Reminding Jake as he stood in front of you, straddling your leg. His eyes widening at your attitude, placing a hand over his heart as if you'd shot him.

“You said no last night?” Yeah, you did do that didnt you? Oh well.

“Oh and you expect me to say yes now that you know i'm single?” It struck another raw nerve, but in the best way it possible could have as Jake kissed you once again. This time with more lust, with more passion. Harder and more fierce than before his teeth clashed against yours and his hand slightly wrapped around your throat. With just enough pressure to have your core paulse. Fuck.

“Your aren't single, you're married. To me! And I'm asking my wife to have dinner with me which is a very normal and socially acceptable thing to do.” You let him squirm for a moment, watching through hooded eyes as you decided if it would be a good idea or not to have dinner together. Deciding maybe throwing a dog a bone once in a while would be a good thing, what could possibly go wrong?

“Fine–”

***~***~***~***~***~

Five hours, twenty minutes and forty five seconds. That’s how long Jake Seresin had left before he’d be able to confidently stand at your door and pick you up for dinner. Although the Hard Deck was nothing special and would most likely be full of naval men and women all grabbing a bite to eat and a few drinks after a day's work. It was still special because it was with you.

“Sir, if I may?” You weren't the type of person to interrupt, you took orders accordingly and spoke when you were spoken to. “I have a concept I’d like to address—while we’re all here?” Waiting for a moment, you couldn’t help but to think Admiral Beau was about to reprimand you for interrupting the debrief. The mission parameters were so important for the pilots to understand, who the hell did you think you were interrupting.

“Make it quick—“ With his arms crossed, you let a small sigh of relief escape as you nodded softly. Handing Pete Mitchell your clipboard as you worked with the interactive map that lit up before the TopGun graduates.

Jake sat a little straighter in his chair, chewing his gum with a stare that saw directly into your soul. This was odd? You weren’t normally one to step out of line like this. You followed protocol to the fucking letter. Crossed all the T’s and dotted all the i’s. For you to interrupt during the middle of a debrief? Un fucking heard off.

“I’ve been up all night thinking this could be done better.” Your eyes were still bloodshot from all the ways you’d tried to go about this at different angle. Settling on the one you were about to present. “But, if this is the carrier and this is the airbase, and this is the target point.” Drawing a line from points A B and C with your index finger. “I propose we have the pilots fly directly from point A being the carrier to point C being the target.”

“We need the super hornets to fly over the airbase in order to disarm the enemy. Missiles will be dropped from a higher altitude—“

“What if we used something else to dismantle the enemy’s airfield, sir.”

“I’m assuming you already have an idea, Lieutenant Commander?” Maverick answered with a smirk, enjoying this just a little too much. Anyone who could twist Admiral Beaus' knickers in a knot was considered a friend. He liked you—for someone well reserved and on the quiet side you had balls.

“Tomahawks Sir, we can launch them directly from the carrier a minute or so after initial take off—giving the team the advantage of time.”

“I’m sorry—what did you say you actually do?” Fanboy didn’t mean for it to sound rude, he was just genuinely intrigued. “I think I missed the part where everyone was told what your role was.” Looking his way with a soft gaze, you tried your best to puff your chest a little. Knowing you were pretty good at your job.

“I’m an analyst—“

“A bloody good one at that.” Admiral Beau approached you from his seat at the back of the room, looking at your drawn up proposal on the interactive board. “Damn, this is—this is genius, a million dollar idea but still, genius.”

Jake couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. You were brilliant in every sense of the word. For a meeting he’d forgotten just how intelligent you truly were, how you managed to make an incredibly hard job so easy. Staring as you softly swayed side to side, accepting the praise you received from your superiors. Melting inside when your eyes met his. The smile, beaming just for you, his heart beating with such love and admiration. Admiring you from his seat in the front.

“Damn— tomahawks huh?” Jake walked with you out towards the tarmac, his first run through with the new flight path set and ready for about twenty minutes' time. Bumping your hip, his way of flirting. Bumping him back—your way of flirting. “You really think that’ll work?”

“I think it’s the safest option, unnecessary diversion from what’s essentially a straight shot just doesn’t make sense to me—“ Pausing your explanation when you noticed Jake smirking to himself. “What?”

“Nothing nothing!” He chuckled. “I just, I could listen to you all day, honestly but—how about you tell me in full detail over dinner tonight.” Jake beamed as he started jogging away, turning to run backwards as he waited for you to reply. Rooster zipping past with his helmet in his hand. Catching up to where your ex husband, Hangman stood.

Feeling overly vulnerable. You hugged yourself gently. Watching as Jake sent you a wink.

“Dinner! I’ll pick you up at seven!” It made you swoon. Trying to hide your smile as you shouted after him.

“Deal.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Tags: @justanothermagicalsara @alexsisrebekah @stinkyjax @starkleila

#jake seresin imagine #jake seresin x y/n #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman x reader #jake seresin fanfiction #top gun hangman #top gun maverick fanfiction

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ackrmvvn-levi · 1 year

Text

Take me home || E.S.

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: I don’t think there are any??

Look, let’s just all pretend he’s still alive, because god damn it I miss him 😭😭

It’d been 4 years since Erwin had seen you last. He’d barely managed to survive the battle of Shinganshina, but it felt like a part of him had died when you never returned. They never even found your body among the wreckage, they’d searched for days, coming up empty handed each time.

There was nothing left for him to do but assume the worst had happened.

He’d dealt with loss before, being in the scouts, that much was a given. But grief had never taken such a hold on him, leaving him feeling hollow and broken down, unable to think about anything other than you. Every day was hard, every minute felt like an endless abyss waiting to swallow him whole. His dreams were nightmares more often than not, waking from them in fits of shivering cold sweat. It was only by sheer luck he didn’t lose his mind entirely.

He couldn’t have known that across the large body of water, you were alive.

They’d held you captive, only allowing you a semblance of freedom when you agreed to listen to their side of the violence.

But you’d done what you could to make your situation less dire, the Marleyans were surprised when you didn’t try to flee after that.

You learned the secrets of the titans, you’d learned why the Marleyans thought of your people as devils. You’d done everything you could to convince them you believed in their cause, just to stay alive.

You hoped to be able to return home, begging to whatever higher power there was that Erwin was still alive, waiting for you to return to him.

——————

Your eyes grazed over the various fruits the merchant was selling, picking out different ones before moving to start your way to your so-called home.

The familiar voice almost slipped your attention at first, but as the yelling became more prominent, you froze.

You slowly looked towards where the voice had come from, eyes wide in disbelief at the scene in front of you.

Sasha, Connie, and Jean were each holding an ice cream cone, yelling praises for the sweet treat at each other.

You would’ve laughed at how ridiculous the whole situation seemed had your heart not began pounding within your chest. Your breath had caught somewhere in your throat, and you stared dumbfounded at your three old friends who hadn’t noticed you.

You began urgently looking throughout the crowd, desperately looking for anymore familiar faces. Anybody you could call a friend. Anyone who knew you.

You noticed Levi and Hange next, their gazes locked on the three overgrown children, still yelling at each other. Hange had a smile on her lips, chatting to a bored-looking Levi quietly.

You wanted nothing more than to run over to them, to you comrades, but they weren’t supposed to be here. Drawing unnecessary attention to the outsiders would only cause all of you trouble.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the pair, only when a third figure stepped up next to Hange did your focus change.

Your heart felt like it nearly stopped, a pair of blue eyes already locked on your figure when you looked at the man.

Erwin stood with his hands casually tucked into his pockets as his eyes bored into your own. The two of you didn’t move for what fell like forever, staring at one another in silence.

You wondered if he realized it was you he was looking at.

You snapped out of your daze when he took a step in your direction, quickly freezing when you shook your head frantically. He paused, eyebrows furrowing slightly as confusion swirled around in his eyes.

You quickly looked around, noticing no guards, no warriors, no one who would be able to recognize the group of scouts, but you couldn’t be too careful.

Your eyes met the familiar pair again, slightly jerking your head to the alley you knew was a few feet behind you, praying he got the message to follow you into the corridor.

The second you saw Erwin nod to you, you turned and began quickly making your way there, brushing through groups of people unapologetically. You could practically feel your hair standing on end, goosebumps rising across your flesh as you hurried along the dark corridor, only turning around at the sound of footsteps behind you.

You opened your mouth to speak, but the words died in your throat. He was still as handsome as you remembered, the same blue eyes still shone with intelligence and kindness. He was out of his scout uniform, a suit hugging his body, a welcome change from his usual wardrobe.

His steps were slow, as though wary of startling you. When he stopped in front of you, his hand reached up, landing on your cheek gently. You nearly sobbed on the spot, not realizing how much you still craved his touch until that moment.

“Tell me you being here doesn’t mean what I think it does.” His voice was quiet, pleading. You could tell he wasn’t sure what to think or feel, and you understood that this would be difficult for him to accept.

“No, no, of course not. They took me, Erwin. I did what I had to do to survive,” You assured, taking a step closer towards him, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

He leaned into your embrace, squeezing his eyes closed as he breathed deeply and steadily against your shoulder. “God, I thought I lost you for good,” he spoke, holding you against him like you’d disappear if he loosened his grip any.

“Never,” you replied fiercely, pulling back to look him straight in the eye. You smiled sadly when you saw tears gathering on his face. You cupped his cheeks delicately, wiping them away. He pressed his lips against yours softly, letting out a deep sigh as you kissed him back.

He was the first to pull away, your hands still gripping his face as his landed on your hips. His eyes bored into yours, blue irises filled with adoration.

“You’re still so beautiful,” he whispered, warm breath fanning over your red-tinted cheeks. “I’ve missed you so much, darling. Everyday of the last 4 years.”

You felt tears stinging in your eyes, but they were happy tears this time, relief washing through you to see him finally in front of you. The weight of four years was beginning to fade away. You could breathe normally now, knowing he’d made it out alive.

“You can come back with us, right? We’ll sneak you onto the ship,” he suggested, pressing his forehead against yours. “I don’t know if I can go back to living without you knowing that you’re alive.”

Your smile grew at his words, pulling his lips back down into a kiss, pouring all your love for the tall blonde into it. He wrapped his free arm around your waist, cradling you close as you melted into the warmth radiating off his body.

“Yes, please. Get me out of here,” you spoke after pulling away, leaning your foreheads back together lightly. “Take me home.”

“You have to do something for me though,” he replied, a small chuckle leaving his lips at the confusion that flashed across your features.

“Of course, what is it?”

“Marry me. The second we get home.”

A small gasp left your lips, your heart swelling with joy and happiness at those words.

“You want to marry me?” You asked incredulously, unable to help the broad grin spreading across your features as you threw yourself into his arms once again, giggling into his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, peppering gentle kisses across your forehead.

“I’ve been waiting 4 years to ask you that. Of course I want to,” he answered happily, tightening his grip on you, burying his face into your hair and breathing deeply.

You nodded your head quickly, feeling completely overwhelmed by the emotions running rampant in your chest.

“Yes, Erwin. Please, take me home and make me your wife,” you spoke, feeling tears threatening to fall from your eyes. He chuckled lowly, bringing a finger under your chin to tilt your head up towards him as he connected our lips for yet another kiss.

He was kissing you with everything that he held inside, everything that you had missed over the past years. He wanted to show you how much he loved you, how much he was always going to love you.

You felt safe, secure, loved, and cherished. And in that moment, the world could crumble around you and you wouldn’t care, not while Erwin had you wrapped in his arms and was the reason for every emotion coursing through your veins.

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dwonfilm · 3 months

Text

Come hell or high water. | Dean Winchester X Reader.

Summary: Looming over the Winchesters and [Y/N] is the war between heaven and hell. Dean will ultimately be faced with a choice he’d never be able to make. What will happen?

This will be a multi-part story, not necessarily set in a specific season but around 4-5 would be the best fit.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None

Mentions: Sam Winchester, Lucifer, random made up characters to further the plot.

Here’s Part II if you haven’t read it.

Dean was the first to come to, coughing several times as he looked around to try and determine where the hell he was. Blinking several times to clear up his eyes he’d look from left to right—the surrounding area was dusty, dark, musty smelling and had rugs or blankets covering the windows. All the makings of an abandoned building of some sort. “Damn it.” He said aloud, realizing that they’d been hunting vamps and must’ve gotten jumped at some point. Though his memory was fuzzy for some reason. Now that he’d sort of figured out the location, he turned to the left and saw [Y/N] who was still unconscious. “[Y/N/N]. Babe.. [Y/N]!” He tried to be assertive but not too loud, after all he didn’t know where the vamps or whoever got the jump on them were. They could be anywhere.

It was no use though, [Y/N] wasn’t budging or waking up. This made Dean turn to the right, seeing his brother in a similar scenario. “Sammy. Sam.. Sam!” He spoke, same thing as seconds before—using an assertive tone but not raising his voice too much. Unfortunately Sam wasn’t budging either, still out cold. Sighing now, it was time for Dean to formulate a plan to get them awake and then to get all three of them the hell out of here.

Yesterday.

They’d been driving for seventeen hours now, all three of them swapping out and taking turns to drive so they could sleep or just rest in general. Right now Sam was driving and instead of taking the passenger seat once he’d passed his brother the driving responsibility, he slipped into the back with [Y/N] even though she was napping. They’d stopped at a gas station and Dean ran inside to grab some snacks and a couple drinks—coming back out and seeing his girlfriend asleep in the backseat. “I’m glad she’s finally getting some sleep.” Sam spoke, finishing up with pumping the gas. “Yeah. Me too. Sad it took this damn long but at least she’ll be rested when we get there.” Dean replied, only glancing towards his brother for a second or two before looking at her again. It was clear that he was worried, Sam was too, after the conversations they had with [Y/N] at the motel in New Orleans. She took two separate shifts driving already and hadn’t slept until she finally knocked out a few hours prior. Dean circled around the Impala and gently opened the back door. Luckily [Y/N] hadn’t moved too much, she still had her legs tucked in towards her butt and so it left enough room for him to sit and be comfortable. Leaning forward the eldest Winchester placed the plastic bag with the snacks and drinks on the floor by his feet. Sam got into the driver’s seat and accidentally closed the door a little too hard, which was met with a glare from his older brother. “A-Are we there yet?” She asked, eyelids slowly opening as she noticed the car had stopped. “No, sweetheart. Almost.” Dean answered, rubbing her calf gently. “Dean? When did you get back here?” [Y/N] asked before tilting her head up to see her boyfriend sitting by her feet. He’d smiled at her while continuing to rub her leg. “I came back when I switched out with Sam. I wanted you to keep napping and you did until right now, since someone’s got a heavy hand.” He replied, again glaring at Sam who looked apologetic. “Dude I’m sorry I didn’t realize I had that momentum.” She smiled as the younger Winchester spoke up. “It’s okay, I probably should be up anyways.” [Y/N] sat up briefly and gave her body a little bit of a stretch. “Nuh-uh-uh. Nope. You’re gonna go back to sleep.” Dean insisted. “I’ve been asleep for hou-“ she began to say but Dean cut her off. “Three hours. You’ve been asleep for three hours and we’ve been driving for seventeen.” She sighed, not realizing they’d been on the road that long.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel..” She started but then was met with a glare, albeit playful, from her boyfriend. “Alright, alright.” [Y/N] chuckled not wanting to push it. Sam had put the key into the ignition and Baby’s engine purred to life. As the car began to move, she’d look over towards Dean. “Do you mind if I lay my head on your lap?” She asked, keeping her tone lower mostly because she was just tired. “Of course you can, baby.” He replied with a smile. [Y/N] leaned into him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips which he happily returned. “Get some more sleep okay? We’ll have to hit the ground running when we get there.” She simply nodded, pushing herself down a little so that she could lay down again. Positioning her head onto his thigh, [Y/N] would soon fall back asleep.

Four hours later.

Sam had pulled the impala into the motel parking lot. Dean had actually called ahead and booked their room so that they could start working immediately. After putting Baby into park and turning the engine off, Sam would exit the vehicle. Softly Dean would shake [Y/N] to let her know it was time to get up. “We’re here babe.” He spoke, keeping his tone low so he wouldn’t scare her and make her jump. Slowly she lifted her head up and yawned. “Okay, thanks D’. Just give me a minute.” She replied before sitting up and stretching in the backseat. Slowly both the older brother and [Y/N] exited the impala. It was at this moment Sam came back from the main office with the room key. “Alright I got the key so let’s get in and get sorted.” Now the younger brother would insert the key into the lock and twist, granting them access to their room. Dean had told his girlfriend to just go inside, he’d grab the books and the bags. [Y/N] walked in and looked around the room briefly. “So, Dean and I figured we’d do a little work ahead of time. We called the coroner’s office and told them we were FBI, inquiring about the murders and setting up an appointment to see them.” Sam spoke, throwing his stuff on the right-side bed. “So, sounds like vamps?” [Y/N] asked, nervously fidgeting with the sleeves of her hoodie. Sam offered a sympathetic smile. “Yeah.. as far as everything they said. Of course we’ll know for sure when we go see them.” She nodded, this information was promising but it didn’t settle her nerves much. Dean would walk into the room and throw his bag and [Y/N]’s onto the left-side bed. “So, our appointment to go see the bodies is within the hour. I think we just gotta suit up and move out.” Dean spoke, both Sam and [Y/N] nodded. “Alright, I’ll go change first.” She spoke before headed into the bathroom with the bag she’d packed her clothes in—the two brothers pulling out the suits they’d brought to make the process quicker. Soon enough all three were dressed in their FBI best, Sam and Dean in classic black suits and ties while [Y/N] was dressed in a black pencil skirt, white blouse and a black blazer. Packing up their badges and bringing the essentials on them, they headed out.

“Hi, I’m Agent Hetfield.” Dean began. “These are partners Agent Ulrich and Agent Tomasi.” First to wave was Sam, [Y/N] offering a nod. “We’re here to check out the murder victims from a couple days ago.” All of this information was taken in by the receptionist before she’d press a few buttons on phone and informed the coroner that the FBI had arrived. Within a moment or so, a man dressed in scrubs came out and greeted the trio. “Hi, I’m Doctor Cortez.” He greeted, shaking everyone’s hands. “Right this way.” He’d then begin leading them towards the morgue. It was a short walk and they pushed through the doorway and into the room. Dr. Cortez opened two of the drawers to reveal both murder victims. “This is Alicia Monroe, 24, found in the middle of a ranch field. This is her boyfriend Charles Feldman, 26, also found in that same field.” [Y/N] was the first to speak after that. “So, my partners here were the ones discussing some things over the phone. What did you determine was cause of death?” This made the doctor sigh. “Honestly it’s been pretty difficult to pinpoint what was the exact cause.” He replied. Sam raised his eyebrow at this, confused. “What do you mean by that?” Dr. Cortez looked towards the younger Winchester and looked rather defeated. “There’s a couple of things that could have caused death, but one doesn’t stick out more than the other.” Dean sighed. That wasn’t a good sign. He pulled his card from his pocket and handed it over to the doctor. “If you can determine cause of death, or have any additional information just call that number.” Dean spoke, a nod coming from the doctor. “We’ll leave you get back to work, thanks Doc’. We appreciate your time.” [Y/N] said before the trio exited the morgue and began walking back towards the front of the building.

“There’s definitely something.. wrong here. Have you ever seen a vampire kill that wasn’t easily called as exsanguination or a broken neck?” She asked, looking towards the brothers once they’d exited the entire building. “Not that I can think of, no.” Dean answered. “Yeah I’m not recalling any.” Sam added. This was causing [Y/N] to feel increasingly nervous again, looking down and toying with the buttons on her blazer. “Hey, breathe okay? We’ll figure it out. We always do.” Dean tried to assure her, but she knew that something was very wrong. “We’ve got the strongest team between us, we always find out what’s going on one way or another.” Sam reassured, but their words unfortunately weren’t going what they’d hoped. “I got their names so, we can talk to their families and see if something weird had been going on.” She said, finally gazing up—her eyes flicking from one Winchester to the other. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll look it up while you guys grab coffee.” Sam replied, getting into the backseat once they’d all reached the impala. Dean pulled the keys from his pocket and got into the driver’s side as [Y/N] got into the passenger seat. No one else had said much in the drive which Sam would be directing once he located the addresses of the victims families. [Y/N] was zoned out, lost in her brain and wondering why this case had seemed so weird. Once they made it about ten minutes up the road they found a place for coffee, Sam bringing in his laptop and setting it up on the table. [Y/N] sat with Sam while Dean waited in line to order their drinks. It was silent between them, just the little bit of hustle and bustle of a local cafe. “What if..” she began, debating on whether or not she’s gonna vocalize her theory. “Yeah?” Sam asked, flicking his gaze up to look at her face. “Those holes in their necks.. they were weird. They didn’t look like they were really made by a vampire. If they were, it was.. I don’t know. Weirdly not used? They didn’t look like the normal holes vamps leave behind.” [Y/N] sighed, knowing it probably sounded crazy. “Say that’s true, what the hell could’ve caused them?” He asked, clicking some keys on his laptop. “That’s something I can’t put my finger on, but Sam something is incredibly off..” she sighed as Dean had approached the table and placed his brother and his girlfriend’s drinks in front of their respective person. “What’re you guys talking about?” He asked, bringing his own drink up to his lips and taking a sip.

“[Y/N] got a good look at the holes on the victims necks, said they don’t look like regular holes from vamps.” Sam answered, using one hand to move the cursor around his laptop and using his free hand to grab the coffee cup. Quickly bringing it up to his lips and taking a drink. Dean looked puzzled, gazing over to his girlfriend. “What’s that mean?” He’d ask, eyes watching her closely. “I don’t know how to explain it other than.. they weren’t used? Like, it looks as though they were made to throw us off but it doesn’t look like blood was sucked out.” She answered. Truth was, she still wasn’t sure what the hell that meant. Eyes flicking between the table and her boyfriend’s green eyes. “So what, something or someone wants us to think it’s vamps and not something else?” Dean asked, focusing his gaze between his younger brother and his girlfriend. “That’s my best guess, like I said.. something just isn’t right here.” [Y/N] sighed before grabbing her coffee and finally taking a drink, finding momentary comfort in its warmth. “Alright well, I found the addresses for the victims and their families. What if you guys go investigate their apartment? I’ll go talk to the families and see if they know anything that could help.” Sam spoke, writing things down on a piece of paper he’d brought along. “Alright, yeah, you drop us off there and then drive since you’ve got two destinations and we’ve just got the one.” Dean answered, knowing she wouldn’t mind—especially considering it meant she didn’t have to act entirely okay in front of strangers. [Y/N] continued to sip on her coffee, sighing quietly. She wished that she didn’t feel so apprehensive about this case but her gut was telling her something was wrong. Dean kept his eyes on her now, silently watching as she struggled and wishing so desperately that he could ease her worry and her pain.

Coffees were finished and soon enough the trio was piling back into the impala. Sam in the driver’s seat with [Y/N] and Dean in the backseat. He’d taken her hand into his and interlaced their fingers together, gently rubbing the pad of his thumb along the bottom part of her hand. Slowly stroking from the base of her thumb to about her wrist and back again. It was roughly a fifteen minute drive to where the couple had been living, Sam briefly put Baby in park. “Alright, anything goes wrong or you learn anything text or call.” Sam tells them, earning a playfully annoyed look from both his brother and [Y/N]. “Thanks dad.” She said, chuckling softly which prompted Dean to chuckle. “You too, though.” He spoke with his eyes on his little brother. “Will do.” Sam smiled after saying, the back door opening and Dean slipping out first. [Y/N] smiled at the younger of the brothers and placed her hand on his shoulder for a moment. “Be safe.” She said, he nodded. “You guys too.” He replied and in similar fashion she nodded. [Y/N] slid out of the backseat and flattened her skirt to assure it wasn’t caught on anything. Once Dean closed the door again, Sam slowly took off down the street. Luckily the place that the couple was renting wasn’t difficult to get into—[Y/N] slicing through the police tape with her knife. Dean pushed the door open gently and the two of them made their way inside. Upon their entry the smell had both of them look towards one another with a widened gaze. “Do you smell that?” He asked, immediately prompting her to nod. “Yup—that’s never a good sign.” She sighed. “It’s just a hint, maybe it’s coincidence?” He sighed. “It’s never just coincidence for us.” She spoke up, both clearly more tense and on higher alert. Dean and [Y/N] both drawing their guns just in case. Slowly they moved as a unit, clearing every room but the worry in their guts was only reaffirmed as they moved deeper into the house. There was only one room left after a few minutes, which was the couple’s bedroom. “I’ve got you covered.” [Y/N] said, gun aimed forward just over Dean’s shoulder. He nodded, keeping his own gun aimed forward while he reached forward using his free hand and quickly turned the doorknob. Pushing the door open, they both slowly entered.

They looked in opposite directions once inside, assuring there would be no sneak attacks. Eyeing the shelf in front of her, she ran her finger across the substance that had been left behind. Briefly smelling it made her heart sink. “D, look—we were right.” She spoke up, leading to him turning to face her and seeing the residue. “Sulfur.” They said together in unison which confirmed their suspicions upon entering the house. “Why the hell were demons here?” Dean asked, pulling his hand over his face as everything had just become more difficult and more dangerous. “I don’t know, but if demons are involved..” she began, sighing again. “..that means Lucifer is involved.” Both of their expressions had hardened with irritation mixed with confusion. “I guess that’s why you felt so strongly about this being something more than what it presented as..” Dean was frustrated. It was evident and he was trying to keep composure for [Y/N]’s sake. She hated being right in times like this, but, there was no denying it anymore. “I just don’t understand the game plan here, like what does he even want from us?” She asked, eyes scanning around the area for any other potential clues or signs. “I wish I knew, sweetheart. Your guess is as good as mine.” Dean didn’t like this, not even a little bit. Slowly pulling his cellphone from his pocket he began to type a text to Sam.

📲 Dean: {Hey Sammy, we’ve got a problem. You get to the first family’s house yet?}

📲 Sam: {Yeah, man. Just got here. What’s the problem?}

📲 Dean: {We’re at the house and the minute we walked in the door something smelt off. We get to the couple’s bedroom and [Y/N] and I found sulfur residue.}

📲 Sam: {What.. why the hell are demons involved?}

📲 Dean: {No clue. We’re looking into things here just wanted to give you a heads up.}

[Y/N] had been looking around while Dean texted his little brother. Trying to make sense of what was happening. She walked towards the nightstand and looked at a picture that was standing in its frame. “They seemed decently happy, at least in pictures.” Her voice broke Dean from his daze and he looked towards her now. “Maybe they reached out to the demons? Make a deal?” He offered an explanation but, it didn’t seem to fit. “I mean, maybe but that seems unlikely. I haven’t seen anything in here that screams ‘devil made me successful’. Besides if they made a deal, why not just wait to collect. They weren’t old enough to have made that deal ten years ago—they’d have been teenagers.” [Y/N] replied, wedging the nightstand drawer open and grabbing a stack of envelopes. Flicking through them to see if anything stood out. “Anything?” Dean asked, beginning to look around the other side of the room. “Just seems like bills for the most part, nothing crazy.” She sighed, throwing them back into the drawer. Finding nothing more really, [Y/N] began walking towards where her boyfriend stood. However she was stopped in her tracks—Dean hearing a loud thud from behind him, slowly he goes to turn around but feels two fingers press against his forehead and everything goes black.

Present time.

Dean had been trying to wrack his brain, trying to formulate some sort of escape route. However it was difficult for just him, he had no sense of time—no idea how long it had been since he tried to wake his brother and his girlfriend up. Suddenly a bit of noise began to break the heavy silence. Dean’s eyes immediately moved to Sam who was moving around, figuring out rather quickly that he was tied to a chair. “Sammy, hey, you’re awake.” His younger brother slowly turned his head in the direction he’d heard Dean’s voice from. “Dean..? Where the hell are we?” He asked, blinking repeatedly to clear his eyes. “I don’t know, some abandoned building. I’ve been trying to figure it out but I can’t get free.” Dean would sigh, his eyes moving to where his girlfriend was restrained. She still hadn’t moved. “Where’s [Y/N]?” Sam asked, almost like he sensed his older brother’s actions. “Right here, other side of me. She’s still out.” His eyes didn’t move from his girlfriend even when he’d spoken. It’s like he was trying to will her into waking up, just so he could know that she was okay. “Man, the last thing I remember was leaving the male victim’s family’s house—then nothing.” Sam spoke, not too loud, who really knew who was out there listening to them. “I heard a thud behind me in the couple’s room, I’m assuming it was [Y/N] hitting the floor. I went to turn around and then boom, nothing.” Dean too trying to recollect anything that would give a hint to where they were or who’s behind holding them captive here.

“Have you seen anything moving while you’ve been awake?” Sam asked, glancing around trying to see if there was any evidence that someone or something was nearby. Dean shook his head. “No, it’s been pretty silent. I’ve been trying to figure out how the hell we get outta this..” Sighing the older brother turned his gaze towards [Y/N] with concern and love glimmering in those green eyes. “C’mon [Y/N/N].. you’ve gotta wake up babe.” He whispered, seemingly at the perfect time or maybe she’d heard him. “W-where am I..? Dean? Sam?” She asked, keeping the volume down—her voice was raspy from not being fully awake yet. “Hey, hey, I’m here. Sam’s here too. We’re.. well we don’t know where the hell we are.” Dean confessed, [Y/N] doing what they’d each done, blinking the blurriness from their eyes. Once she had, she met Dean’s gaze with her [Y/E/C] eyes and it made him feel incredibly safe. He was still worried about how they were gonna get out of here, but knowing she was okay gave him so much relief. “I don’t remember anything after a certain point in that couple’s bedroom..” she admitted, looking over to see Sam as well. “Who the hell got the jump on us?” She asked, to which the brothers could only shrug slightly. “We have no idea, honestly.” Sam spoke up. “Wait..” Dean spoke out loud, realizing after a fair share of movement that his arms weren’t in as tight of a grip as they had been. “..I can get out of this just gimmie a second.” He spoke before wriggling around against the wooden chair, after another few moments the rope slid off of his arms and onto the floor. Both Sam and [Y/N] looked relieved as Dean grabbed his knife, cutting his legs free. Immediately running to his girlfriend and cutting her free, followed up by his little brother. Sam stood up to stretch his limbs and [Y/N] had too, but she was almost immediately engulfed by Dean and a tight hug. “Hi, I’m here. I’m right here.” She replied, knowing he’d been worried about her and having to see her like that with no means to help. “I know I’m just glad you’re awake.” He said with his lips pressing against her head, kisses being placed periodically.

Suddenly a voice broke the tender moment. “Awww, how touching is this?” it said. Dean, [Y/N] and Sam all turned to see where the voice had come from. Sure enough, all their previous suspicions were proved correct. “Lucifer.” All three said in unison, scowls on their faces. “C’mon, why the long faces! I think I look good today.” He laughed, which had the hunters all rolling their eyes. Lucifer finally took a step outside of the shadows and came into view. His face wore a smirk that spread from ear to ear, reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat. Seconds passed and he let his gaze linger on all three of the hunters that stood before him, an uneasy feeling now lingering in the air. Sam was the first to speak up, irritation coating his tone. “What do you want, Lucifer?” He asked, glaring towards the devil himself. “Oh let me bask in the glory of what’s about to happen before I deliver the blow Sammy! You just have to ruin all the fun.” Lucifer replied with an ever wicked grin still painted upon his lips. “Cut the shit, Lucifer. We’re not here to live in your monologue.” [Y/N] spoke, still holding onto Dean while her gaze was shooting daggers toward the fallen angel. However instead of gaining the usual level of irritation they’d get in talking back to him, Lucifer continued to grin. This set off alarms in all three of the hunters as they exchanged looks of concern. “What? Expecting some other reaction are we?” He asked, his gaze now falling solely upon Dean.

“What’s your angle then huh? Get to it already so we can get the hell out of here.” Dean spoke, returning the devil’s gaze and not backing down an inch. Silence again overtook the room, Lucifer’s eyes unmoved from Dean’s. Sam and [Y/N] turned their heads to look at one another. Something was happening, something was shifting and it wasn’t good—especially if it had Lucifer this happy. “Fine.” It was a simple statement from the fallen angel, but it wasn’t followed by further information. Not at first. “I’m here to inform you, Dean Winchester, that you’ve got an incredible choice on your hands. One that will alter everything you stand for and everything you believe in—a choice that will tear you apart inside until you’re asking to be Michael’s meat suit.” [Y/N]’s stomach dropped hearing this, because that meant it was something bigger than even her intuition could’ve imagined. “Yeah? What’s this ‘important choice’ then huh?” Dean asked, Sam watching from the other side. He had just as bad a feeling about this as [Y/N] did—neither had any chance to speak up though, Lucifer answering immediately. “It’s simple really. You, oh you’ve got the choice of who gets a one way ticket to pain and suffering. Dean Winchester, it’s your decision who gets sent to hell here today. Little Sammy-boy..” he paused, gesturing towards the younger of the Winchester brothers. “or..” Dean’s heart was racing, knowing exactly what was coming but dreading having to hear it said aloud. “..your beautiful, so very beautiful, girlfriend [Y/N].”

#dean winchester #dean x reader #fanfic #supernatural #dean winchester imagines #spn #spn imagines #dean winchester x reader #fanfics

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totheseok · 2 months

Text

home is where the heart is

Jung Sungchan x reader

trope?: friends to strangers, strangers to lovers, childhood friends, college au?

requested: yes?? but I'm turning it into a series??

req by: @melokoyy

warnings: swearing?

stage one: damn those theatre kids

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words: 1.3k

Jung Sungchan and L/N Y/N grew up together but this didn't mean they were best friends. Nor did it mean they hated each other. Simply put the two of them were friends.

Sungchan and Y/N's parents were good friends but the two never found themselves hanging out with each other besides the times their families were together. They went to the same school but hung out with different people, they were in the same class but sat at different ends. Outside their homes, they were mere acquaintances.

When they were six Sungchan's family moved into the house across the street from Y/N's. It was then that they started hanging out more. Walking to and from school together, doing homework together, and sometimes going over to each other's house to play games when bored. The pair's newly formed friendship, however, was sadly cut short when Y/N's mother got a job offer abroad and the family decided to move. When you're six years old and are told that you're moving to a new country it's exciting, but then you realize you have to leave your friends behind and suddenly your whole world gets crushed. And that's exactly what happened to Y/N. The idea of exploring new places was amazing but what fun would it be if she didn't have Sungchan to do it with her.

Yet the move was inevitable, they were six what could they possibly do to stop it.

As the day of the flight approached the kids spent more and more time with each other and the night before Y/N's flight Sungchan handed her his favorite puppy plushie Haru and told her to remember him with it. In return, Y/N handed the young boy her beloved Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh) stuffed toy.

And with that, they bade farewell to each other and Sungchan walked home crying as Y/N stood outside her door hugging Haru tightly to her chest.

Considering Y/N was only seven when she moved to Canada with her parents, the adjustment wasn't too difficult. She knew English because she was sent to an international school in Korea, and being only seven fitting in with other kids wasn't too hard.

She soon became friends with a girl named Somi and a guy named keeho and they became pretty much inseparable due to their korean backgrounds (a/n: reader doesn't have to be korean she was just raised there).

Surprisingly, the friendship lasted, even through middle school and high school and soon enough, senior year of high school rolled around.

"Girl, did you apply?"

Keeho has a habit of whispering to y/n during classes, especially if she's zoned out. She should be used to it by now but being broken out of your thoughts is always a bit surprising.

"Fuck! KEEHO! What the hell man?" Y/n replied not bothering to look at him.

"Did you apply to SNU, dumbass?" he quipped at her, pinching her arm to fully bring her back to reality.

"Oh. Oh, wait, oh shit I forgot." she started switching tabs on her laptop, making sure the teacher didn't notice and quickly opened Seoul National University's website. "When's the deadline to apply for the September semesters?"

"In two hours..." Keeho sighed."I swear to god y/n you're hopeless. HOW are you maintaining your GPA!?!?!"

Now y/n's GPA isn't a 4.0, but it's still good at a 3.79, keeping her at an A. Along with that, she actively takes part in extracurriculars and has won a few competitions for her society. So she was definitely HOPING to get accepted by SNU, preferably on scholarship, but hey, she'll take what she can get.

"When does this class end?" she asks him opening the application form and started filling it out, let's hope Mrs. Anderson doesn't notice she's not taking notes.

"Well considering its been about an hour and fifteen minutes, that means there's an hour and forty-five minutes left. Seriously WHY are our classes THIS long?!?!"

"Ugh, I get you," the girl mumbles, "So I either do this right now and risk getting caught by Mrs. Anderson OR I wait until class ends and try to write an application for my dream uni in fifteen minutes?"

"Basically."

"You know what? I'll take my chances, what's Mrs . Anderson going to do, give me detention for applying to uni in her class?" and she starts typing, looking up at the board every few minutes to make it seem like she's taking notes and not doing something her entire future relies on.

"Wait so you JUST applied?" Somi stops in her tracks and turns to Y/n as they walk out of the campus towards the closest 7/11.

Keeho replies for her, "Yeah, that too during Mrs. Anderson's class."

"Damn I knew you were crazy but Mrs. Anderson's class is just wild."

"Hey, atleast my application went through before the deadline," Y/n finally speaks up "Now we just have to hope all three of us get accepted together."

"Damn right, I still applied to a couple other unis in Seoul, just in case you know?" Somi comments, opening the door to the convenience store.

"Same. I applied to Yonsei, Hanyang, and a couple of others." Keeho agrees, following her.

"Other than SNU I just applied to Yonsei but no where else in Korea, if I get into SNU great, Yonsei's my backup option, the other unis I applied to are in the Middle East and Europe." Y/N adds.

"Hmm, you're just going to leave us to rot in Seoul I can't beleive this, but if you do end up going to the Middle East fuck learning, find a rich prince and marry him."

"KEEHO!" both the girls exclaim.

"ANYWAYS, let's hope all three of end up in SNU, I mean how could SNU possibly turn down a trio as amazing as us." he continues.

"Yeah, let's do this together." Y/N adds while she waits for her hotdog.

Summer after high school came sooner than expected, and suddenly life slowed down, highschool was over and the little group of friends were on there way to be adults.

The only thing they were worried about now?

University acceptance emails.

The three hung out almost every day and every two hours they'd refresh their emails hoping to see an email from SNU.

"What if they accidentally sent our letters to the wrong emails? Is that possible?"

"Keeho I highly doubt a university as established as Seoul National University would send acceptances to the wrong emails..." Somi responds.

"Yeah and even if they did I doubt it'd happen to all three of us, plus apparently acceptes don't come until like June or something idk." Y/N adds to Somi's point.

"Damn, I just want the stress to end man, I don't like not knowing." the boy mumbles.

"I get you," Somi agrees, "Plus its already the end of May so anytime now I guess."

"Oh my god Somi I think you just manifested something, I got an email !" Y/N frantically opens the mail app on her phone and sure enough there was an email from Seoul National University. "Quick both of you check yours."

As she waits, she looks around her bed to find a worn-out puppy plushie, Haru. Once she finds him, she holds onto him, hugging him with her left arm while her right holds her phone.

"I got one too!"

"Same! oh my god oh my god I'm going to shit my pants!"

"OK on three we open them together and remember no matter what happens, we support each other through it."

"Alright one, two, two and a half, two and and three-"

"Y/N FOR FUCKS SAKE, THREE"

And que silence.

The first one to break the silence was Somi, "I GOT IN!"

"I DID TOO!" Keeho jumps in his seat.

The two friends realise the third hasn't spoken yet, and so they turn to her, only to see her sitting with a grim face, tears gathering in her eyes. Grip on her plushie tighter than ever as she hugs it to her chest.

She looks up, looks at Keeho, then at Somi, one singular tear slipping out of her eye.

"Oh Y/N-"

"SNU is overrated any -"

Just as her friends are about to comfort her, a smile overtakes her face.

"I GOT IN TOO!!!"

Damn those theatre kids.

synopsis: Sungchan and y/n are family friends but y/n moved abroad and they lost touch, now y/n is back in Korea for uni and it's just so happens sungchan is attending too and now he's helping her readjust and navigate through life in Korea. What could possibly go wrong?

a/n: So originally, this was supposed to be a oneshot, but I'm turning it into a series, first ACTUAL fic!!! I hope you all like it :)))

and special thank you to @ywnzn for helping me with the name for this series ❗️❗️❗️

taglist open: @seungzzzz @wccycc

#riize #riize x reader #riize fluff #riize imagines #sungchan #sungchan x reader #jung sungchan #sungchan fanfic #sungchan fluff #jsc #riize fics #riize fanfic #riize sungchan #nct sungchan #nct u #riize smau #riize texts #riize fake texts

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mapileonxputellas · 2 years

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Confusion (Mapi Leon x Reader Part 3)

The long awaited Part 3, thank you all so much for the patience and all your help coming up with ideas.

I may come back to this for a part 4 but I want to take a break and do some requests next.

Suggestions one, two, three and four. Thank you!

Pre-season seemed to fly by and before you knew it the season had begun, Barca as expected starting on a winning streak and you made substitute appearances in both of the matches. You understood at this point that it was a matter of getting your fitness back up to their elite standard and you were now fighting for your position back.

Mapi and Alexia had been amazing though, either one or both of them joined you every weekend when you weren’t playing for a day out. When your first away match happened, Mapi had organised for her parents to look after Bella for the night when your babysitter had to cancel on you.

“You know you don’t have to do this right.” You told Mapi when she told you about her plan. “I’m just going to say I can’t go.”

“Stop being so damn stubborn and just accept the help.”

“You know from the night we met, she doesn’t settle when I’m not around. Maybe it was all just a mistake.”

“Don’t think like that, look we can go round to their place tonight and introduce Bella to them, they love children and honestly she’s going to love them. I can even bring Bagheera round to yours for the night when we’re away and she’ll forget you’ve even gone.” Mapi was firmly one of Bella’s favourite people in the world but if anyone was close to her it was that cat, you’d introduced them a few weeks ago and now every night she had to facetime Mapi and check in on her new feline friend.

“Are you sure they don’t mind?”

“They offered when I told them what was happening, I promise they don’t mind and if anything does happen when we’re away they’ll call straight away.”

“Ok.”

Thankfully the night away went without any trouble, as Mapi has reassured you, Bella was fine with the cat and her parents. The day after you had promised to make up for your time away by taking her to the zoo, which Mapi tagged along for even though you had reassured her several times she didn’t need to. She definitely filled a gap you always knew was there in your lives, even though you’d tried your absolute best to be everything Bella needed you knew she needed someone fun to weigh out the parental figure you had to be.

That was all done over the weekend though and now it was time to get back into training and focus on the important matters of the first Champions League match in a few days time.

You’d been spending extra time on the training field, determined to make sure you wouldn’t be a weak link in the team, even though all the stats in your substitute appearances had proven to the public that you were still the same player as before.

As you were coming out of the shower in the washroom adjoined to the changing room you could hear some of the other girls come in.

“Where’s Y/N?” You heard Jana ask whoever else was in there. “I thought she would be finished by now.”

You could almost picture the smirk on Ingrid’s face as she answered. “Probably wants to stay as long as possible, get out of her responsibilities for a bit longer.”

“What do you mean?”

“All I’m saying is that it must be hard on the little girl having a mum who has to be away for so long and then doesn’t even spend time with her when she’s here.”

You’d grown used to detecting people from their voices and the next to question her was definitely Ana. “What? What are you talking about?”

“I just heard Mapi talking about the babysitter she has along with the nursery she already sends her to. I heard that she went out last night after leaving her with Mapi’s parents the night before.”

“That’s crazy.” And not true.

“I think she maybe even uses the kid to trap Mapi.”

“Trap her?”

“I just think she doesn’t want to let the kid down anymore, she kind of feels like she has to hang around with them.”

“What and you get this impression from Mapi?”

“I’m just saying that she no longer has time to spend with me anymore, like she’s always so apologetic and almost feels sorry for the kid.”

You couldn’t listen to anymore of this, every sentence more felt like another knife in your chest. You knew Ingrid was well liked within the squad, especially because of whatever was going on between her and Mapi, they’d all believe her. It was like you were almost back to square one. But as you quickly got changed and snook out the back door you failed to hear Alexia and Claudia storming in.

“What did you just say about her?” Alexia questioned the Norwegian, who quickly quietened down with the two new arrivals. “No go on because you’ve obviously got a lot to say.”

“Alexia….”

“Where do you actually get off on making this up? Like some of that is laughable.”

“You don’t know it’s not the truth.”

“I know a lot more than you do,” Not wanting to reveal just how much she knew about Mapi spending time with you. “Even if it was true, like why is it any of your business to spread this around, she’s meant to be your teammate.”

“I get bad vibes from her.”

“I really couldn’t care less, just don’t go spreading stuff like this about her, either of them in fact. She’s an amazing mum and if you can’t see that then maybe you’re the issue.”

…..

Alexia could practically feel the steam coming out of her ears as she rung the doorbell to her friend’s flat. She’d messaged you on the way indirectly checking you weren’t here and was glad that you seemed fine, presuming you’d quickly gone home following the training session.

“Your girlfriend is a piece of work.” Mapi had no idea who Alexia was talking about as she barged her way into the kitchen, immediately noticing the scattering of kid’s toys on the floor in the living room, the child’s bottle on the kitchen side. All things that would never have been here less than two months ago.

“Who? What’s going on?”

“I walked into the changing room after training expecting to find Y/N but instead I’m met with Ingrid spouting some shit about how bad of a mum she is and how she’s trapping you in this friendship through Bella because that’s how you’re describing it.”

“Firstly she’s not my girlfriend. Secondly, what?”

“Exactly you and I both know it’s not like that but if I hadn’t have come in at that moment they’d all be believing her.”

“I never said anything like that, well….” A moment of realisation coming as to where Ingrid has taken this from and exaggerated the truth to make this story.

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything, Ingrid was just bugging me about spending the day with her on Sunday but I wanted to spend it with those two so I just said that I couldn’t let them down and Bella knew I was already coming.”

“So you don’t know where she got the story about Y/N being out on Sunday night when we both know she was feeling guilty about leaving Bella for one night.”

“She hates leaving her at any time, there’s no way she would leave her two nights in a row without needing to.”

“This is all just so fucked up.” Alexia complained silently banging her head against the table. “We both know that Ingrid is only saying this because she’s jealous.”

“Jealous of me spending time with them.”

“Well that and the fact that you’ve always loved Y/N.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mapi’s defences came up, immediately busying herself with tidying the already immaculate surface.

“You keep telling yourself that, all I’m saying is that you two will always have this connection that’s different from everyone else and Ingrid can see that already. I’m just glad she didn’t hear what was said today or that would really knock her confidence but you’ve got to sort this out before it gets even more messy.”

“I’ll try.”

“I’m not losing my best friend from all this, either you tell Y/N the truth and confront Ingrid or I will.”

“I promise I’ll try.”

…..

That promise came in the form of distancing herself from you to try and figure out the feelings she had for you. Two weeks passed and there was minimal contact time between the both of you, excuses were made as to why she couldn’t hang around with you at the weekend and you almost never saw her in the changing rooms. Even though you knew she probably had a lot going on right now with the whole Vilde situation it still felt like you were the problem in this.

Maybe Ingrid was right, maybe she did feel trapped and she finally decided she didn’t want to spend any time with you. Maybe she was seeing the other side to this, the side that your parents took. They didn’t believe in you as a mother and neither did she but if that’s how she saw it then maybe everyone else did as well. So you segregated yourself from the group, coming in for the minimum time for training, leaving before anyone could invite you anywhere. When you could see Alexia coming over you would quickly make a break for it because if there’s one thing that would break your heart more than anything else it was realising you’d lost them all over again and you knew that would break Bella’s heart as well.

But your actions confused Mapi herself. Just when she finally got the courage to make a move you seemed to retreat into yourself. Whenever she tried to partner up with you in a match you would immediately grab the closest person. Whenever she tried to speak to you after a match you would immediately head for the changing room. She couldn’t work out what had happened and though her first instinct was to just come over and see what the problem was, she also knew that was your space and you were obviously avoiding her for a reason.

“Mama?” It had been four weeks since the incident and the two of you were spending the Saturday after your match cuddled you’re your bed watching Frozen once again, though you could see her mind was elsewhere.

“Yes Bella.”

“Where’s Mapi? She hasn’t come round in ages.”

“I know, she’s just a bit busy at the moment but she misses you very much.”

“I miss her too.”

“I know you do.”

“And Bagheera.”

“And Bagheera.” You confirmed pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I promise mama will fix it soon but right now it’s just you and me. Like always.”

“Love you mama.”

“I love you too.”

Though you knew this couldn’t last forever anyway, you knew at some point you would have to make the first move for Bella’s sake. She’d got attached to Mapi and you could only hope that she wouldn’t let the girl down.

…..

The start of that week started with an injury, you’d been immediately ruled out of training for the rest of the week to hopefully lessen the strain in your hamstring. If that wasn’t bad enough since giving birth you occasionally had very bad periods and it felt like the world chucking everything at you all at once. On the second day of basically just hobbling round the flat trying to watch over Bella as you couldn’t take her to nursery, it had started. Not only did the cramps follow but the migraines started and all you wanted to do was sleep. Something that couldn’t happen with a two year old.

It had never been this bad before though. Even in the middle of the afternoon you couldn’t keep your eyes open and Bella was concerned when she turned to find you wincing into the pillow.

“Mama? Mama?” You could feel her hands on your sides training to get your attention but the bright lights forced your eyes closed, it almost felt hard to breath as the pain rippled through your head but you didn’t want to scare the child too much. “Mama.”

“Get mama’s phone and call number 1 like I taught you to, can you do that?” You knew at this point there was no way you could look after her in this state.

“Yes mama.”

“Good girl.

Almost in preparation for something like this happening you had taught Bella as soon as she was able to how to ring someone for help. In your state though and with the stress of the past few weeks you’d forgotten that Mapi had forced you to change the speed-dial list so she was the first one it would call.

This also came as a shock to Mapi. She was just making her way out of training when she felt her phone vibrating and looked down to find you name on the screen after almost a month of not speaking to each other. “Hello?”

“Mapi…” If Bella’s voice didn’t panic her enough the scared tone of the little girl’s voice definitely rung alarm bells.

“Hi Bella, what are you doing on mama’s phone?” She tried to keep calm.

“Mama not feeling too well, asleep on the sofa and she won’t open her eyes. Told me to call the number like she showed me to.”

“What a clever girl you are.” Mapi tried not to panic the girl, signalling to Alexia to rush to her car and start driving. “I’m sure mama is just really tired, stay on the phone with me and I’ll be there soon.”

Alexia must have sensed from Mapi’s words that something had happened and broke probably ever speed limit to make her way to your house as quick as possible. Mapi stayed on the phone, trying to use every distraction technique possible to sooth the worried girl but the panic was rising in all three of them.

“Sort this shit out today.” Alexia whispered to Mapi as they pulled up, Mapi coming off the phone after she instructed Bella to open the door. “I’m serious Mapi, we’re not leaving until this is sorted. I’ve let the two of you do whatever this is for the last few weeks but I want my friend back.”

“I promise I’ll sort it.”

The door opened to reveal the little girl, obvious tear marks down her face a good indicator that this serious.

“Hey Bella, why don’t we go and play upstairs and Mapi will sort your mama out. Come on.” Alexia led the little girl upstairs and Mapi headed into the living room, being met with your body on the sofa.

��Y/N. Y/N.” Mapi gently stroked her hand down your cheek, already feeling how hot you were under her touch, thankfully seeing you respond as you winced even as Mapi tried to whisper.

“Bella?”

“She’s with Alexia, she’s fine just worried about her mum. What’s going on?”

“Migraine. Cramps.” You struggled to get out. “Head feels like it’s about to explode.”

“Come on lets get you to bed.” She knew at this point there was nothing she could do to help you other than get you some more pain relief and transfer you into your bed. She gently transferred you into her arms, carefully ascending the stairs and going straight to your room. After placing you under the covers she drew the curtains to block the light out and ran down stairs to get you the medication and a hot water bottle she found under the sink.

“Stay.” You whispered when she came back, the room finally dark enough for you to open your eyes so you could take the tablets and place the bottle on your stomach. “Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Though you knew there was a conversation to be had you let yourself drift off to sleep, always aware of the hand now holding your own and your new appreciation to the woman beside you.

…..

Though the sleep didn’t fully get rid of the pain it was definitely a lot more manageable when you woke up a few hours later. You immediately noticed the missing person beside, taking your time getting steady and changing into some pyjamas before finding out what was happening in the rest of the house.

You quietly came down the stairs not wanting to reveal your presence and glanced into the living room to find Mapi and Bella covered under a blanket, a few slices of pizza in front of them as they watched Moana.

“I missed you.” You heard Bella say to Mapi, taking a seat on the stairs even though you knew you shouldn’t eavesdrop like this. “Where have you been?”

“I’ve missed you too, a lot’s been happening at the moment but I promise that won’t happen again.”

“Mama’s sad without you around.”

“I’m sad without you two around.”

“What about Bagheera?”

“Bagheera’s sad as well, she wants her best friend back.”

“I missed her too. Can I see her soon?”

“I’m sure your mama and I can organise something.”

You took this moment to announce your presence. “What are you two doing without me hey? Watching my favourite movie.”

“See Bella I told you mama would be fine.” Mapi said lifting the blanket so you could sit on the other side of Bella.

“Mama fine?”

“Mama’s fine, she just had a bit of a headache and with my poorly leg it was a bit hard to move but I’m a lot better now. Have you been looked after by Mapi and Alexia?”

“Alexia left but Mapi and I had pizza and then we watched Frozen and then we watched Moana….”

“But now that you’ve seen her you have to go to bed like we agreed.”

“Ok.” She knew it wasn’t worth the argument and gave you a kiss on the cheek, exchanging an I love you, before the two of them disappeared upstairs. You hadn’t realised how long it had been since you’d eaten so you almost inhaled two slices of pizza before letting them settle as Mapi reappeared.

“Hey, thank you for today.”

“I hope it’s ok that I gave her pizza, she was upset and that seemed like the best tactic to feed her and stop the tears.”

“I must have really scared her.”

“You couldn’t help it either, it was just an accident and she’s fine now. Plus you taught her the skills in that situation, you should be proud of yourselves.”

“That you and thank you for picking up the phone. You don’t know how much it meant to me.”

“I told you when you came back that I would be here for you and Bella, that includes times like this. Don’t ever hesitate to ask for some help, you should have come to me when you even just had the first inkling that you were unwell.”

“I didn’t exactly know if I could call you.” Though the words had a hint of anger in them it was mostly just sadness as to where the two of you were.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“You did it first.” You argued back, without even knowing it you both sounded like arguing teenagers glaring at each other before you let the sadness break through. “I thought you didn’t want to be around me anymore after all the rumours.”

“How do you know about the rumours?” Shit.

“I heard them one day, Ingrid telling everyone about what a bad mother I was and how I was trapping you. I just presumed everyone believed her and you wouldn’t want to see me anymore just like everyone else who’s cut me off. So I thought it was just easier to then avoid you as well before you cut me off completely.”

“How much did you hear?”

“I wasn’t about to stay and listen to her talk shit about me all day. I just heard that and left.”

“You know if you’d have stayed probably ten seconds later you would have heard Alexia stop her, telling everyone how that wasn’t true. No-one believes that and I certainly don’t.” She reached over to pull you into her side, her arm over your shoulder as you cuddled into her. “Who cares what she thinks, I’ve seen you with Bella and you’re the best mum she could wish for.”

“Then why did you ignore me? It felt like I was back at square one again with everyone against me, I thought it would be different this time but again it was just radio silence”

“Because this is all just so complicated. I wanted Ingrid to stop talking shit about you but then I also knew I maybe had some feelings to get my head around.”

“What?” You looked up to find nerves etched all over her face.

“I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you all those years ago and that’s why it broke my heart when you moved away because not only was I losing my best friend, but I was also losing the girl I loved.”

“But what about Ana and Ingrid?”

“Firstly I’m not with Ingrid, we hooked up once and there’s been a crossed wire but I’ve made it clear to her now that nothing’s going on and nothing ever will be. But neither of them have come close to you, you always had my heart and then when I met you again all these feelings came back and I had to work out what to do with them.”

“What are you going to do with them?” You whispered back almost scared to break the moment.

“I can’t ignore them any longer, the panic I felt today when I thought there was something wrong with you was on another scale. If you don’t feel the same way then I have to accept that but I can’t lie any longer.”

“Mapi.” You grabbed the girl’s cheeks to make eye contact, the nerves also eminent in her eyes “Kiss me.”

“There’s no going back from this you know.”

“You’re obviously blind as well because I’ve loved you since the moment I met you as well. All those flings were just a distraction to get my head off you even though it never worked.”

That was all the confirmation she needed before she sealed her lips onto yours. The kiss was nothing you’d ever experienced before, like you were pouring all your emotions into this one kiss as you carefully moved to straddle her lap. This was everything you’d ever imagined as you tangled your hands in her hair as her own caressed your hip.

“I love you.” You whispered taking the risk of saying it first. “I know my life is a mess at times and it’s complicated and there’s probably a million more girls out there who would be a million times easier to be with than I am.”

“I love you too. I promise I’ll be there for the two of you now and if I hear anyone make a comment about the two of you then I’ll be the first to defend you. Just know that you’re the best mum and whatever happens I won’t let the two of you down.”

“You’re the best.”

“No you are but serious now, please can we get Bella and Bagheera together again. That cat won’t stop crying and begging me to take her out.”

“You obviously haven’t seen my fridge then, I don’t think you can actually see any of the surface for drawings of that cat.”

#mapi leon imagine #mapi leon #alexia putellas #mapi leon x reader #barcelona femeni #woso #woso imagines #woso imagine #espwnt #espwnt x reader #woso x reader

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a-reader-and-a-writer · 8 months

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That's What Family is For (Part 2)

AI-Less Whumptober 2023: 16. Hospital, 21. Shock Fandom: DC, Batman, Batfam, Damian Wayne, Batsis!reader, f!reader Summary: After being kidnapped and offering to take Damian's place to be tortured, you miraculously find yourself waking up back home. Damian has a new outlook on your relationship, but will a secret from your past ruin everything? Word Count: 5231 TW: Hospital, Aftermath of Torture, Mentions of Past Torture, Mentions of Death, Forced to Watch, Crying, Coma, Past Trauma Note: Today is the 2 year anniversary of posting Part 1 of this fic. Thank you so incredibly much for your patience and support as I worked on this and I hope it lives up to Part 1 💖 Part of @ailesswhumptober

Part 1