#like he was my fave from the beginning and OBVIOUSLY he always had his split personality thing with black going on

[dazaii]

#one episode, one guy, two different sides of him

#hatsuharu sohma #fruits basket #furuba #anisource #** #asjssks i just finished this anime BUT i had to gif this episode??? #bc it was my absolute favorite??? #like he was my fave from the beginning and OBVIOUSLY he always had his split personality thing with black going on #BUT #this episode was a whole other level #and both moments are even about rin #which makes this just 10000x better #i literally did these gifs so quick its 6am #horrible psd but anyway #haru

[doomednarrative]

I’m doing this for fun simply because I'm rewatching them all so,

Here's my personal ranking for Every Gorillaz Music video, based both on song and the video itself:

(This is going to be a long post)

PHASE ONE:

Tomorrow Comes Today: 7/10. I love this song and the video fits its vibe, but its still pretty simplistic and not a whole lot of actual animation and no story, so it gets points off for that.

Clint Eastwood: 10/10. I love this one honestly. Its still so charming after all this time and showcases the band well for their early days. Love the more moody tone of it, and I always love seeing the band actually play instruments in their videos too. Bonus points for Murdoc's laugh opening this one because I love that.

Rock The House: 9/10. Pure fun. I don't have a lot of commentary for it, I just think its fun and I love the song itself too. One point off for Murdoc thrusting his hips too many times for my eyes tho.

19-2000: 10/10. This one was the first Gorillaz video that I saw and it really is just a nice non plot connected video. The 3D animation still manages to hold up because of its mix with 2D animation in my opinion and I enjoy it.

Rockit: 5/10. I like the song but the video is kinda meh.

PHASE ONE MV'S OVERALL: Overall I like phase one and I miss Del. Bring him back.

PHASE TWO:

Dirty Harry: 8/10. 2D is just vibing so hard in this video and I'm living for it. That’s all that matters. (Side note but I love the version of this video they did for the BRIT's as well.)

DARE: 10/10. Noodles time to shine, a perfect song, what more could you ask for?? (Also love the bit with Murdoc at the end of course.)

Feel Good Inc: 10/10. This one is obvious if you know me at all. Murdoc playing his bass is what sells this one for me cause I enjoy the animation. The songs amazing and one I find comforting to listen to, and the mood of the video fits it perfectly. Theres some really fun shots with lighting while 2D is standing at the window too in the tower in here that I've always liked.

El Mañana: 6/10. I love this song but it makes me sad and so does the video.

PHASE TWO MV'S OVERALL: Phase One is iconic for its art style and for being The Beginning, but Phase Two is my favorite of the two for its art. I love how these videos are animated, and even if Demon Dayz is my least favorite album, the songs in these videos are all very good. Pretty solid as a whole all things considered.

PHASE THREE:

Stylo: 10/10 LISTEN, I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HATE THE CGI, BUT I LOVE IT. It’s so expressive, this song is one of my absolute faves, I’m sorry to be such a Murdoc liker but hes so much fun in this video and so expressive and it starts the story off for Plastic Beach. I love it so much.

On Melancholy Hill: 7/10. It’s not a bad video, and I love the song a lot, but...not a lot actually happens in the video aside from the bits with Noodle. Bonus points however go to just how seamlessly it puts 2D and 3D animation together, and for how cute 2D looks this whole video.

Rhinestone Eyes: 9/10. WOULD BE A 10/10 IF WE’D GOTTEN OFFICIAL ANIMATION FOR IT ;-; (The fan animated video for it tho is Very very good and i applaud that whole team.) Amazing song, this video has the most story packed into it so far from all the other videos and it’s memorable from its storyboards for that alone.

Doncamatic: 10/10 Listen...Listen I know its a one off and it doesn't really have anything in it but I’m obsessed because its one of my favorite Gorillaz songs tbh and I love Daley’s outfit in it so it gets a full pass from it.

PHASE THREE MV’S OVERALL: I love every video this phase tbh, none of them are bad. All of them are fun,and even if Melancholy Hill is a little slow, it’s still enjoyable. I love this phase because they all connect and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way either.

PHASE FOUR:

Hallelujah Money: 7/10. It’s not at all bad, but I’m as not fond of this song, and the video itself is much too trippy for me. Still has its own merits tho that I won’t knock it for even if it’s not my personal taste.

Saturn Barz: 10/10. Everything about this video is amazing. Character designs and as a comeback for the bands animated counterparts, it was perfect. I loved hearing them actually speak again too it made the whole thing so fun. The song is fuckin awesome and it fits the vibe of the whole video. Bonus points for the more lineless animation style they gave everyone in this video, it was a really neat change from past phases. My one complaint is again stop making me see so much naked Murdoc, I may like him but not like that.

Sleeping Powder: 6/10. I am so split when it comes to the mo cap models. This songs good but the video is again too trippy for me.

Strobalite: 9/10. Would have been 10/10 if Russel got to dance with 2D and Noodle, but other than that its pretty damn good. The mo cap looks way less awkward in here, particularly Murdoc and Russel. Also hilarious that Murdoc made a deal with the devil, and the guy who played him is actually his voice actor irl. This songs too much fun to vibe to as well.

PHASE FOUR MV’S OVERALL: Not much for story, but makes up for it in updated art and great music again. Solid overall yet again. I like it.

PHASE FIVE:

Humility: 20/10. Literally every single person I know who’s seen this video loved it. The animation is Beautiful, the song is so fuckin catchy, Jack Black is in it! What more do you want!! (The only thing I could have asked for was to see more of Ace but that’s its only flaw.)

Tranz: 9/10. I love this song so much but this video is Again just a little too trippy for me. However, we get to see Ace just jamming out in this video and I’ll take the trippiness just for that.

PHASE FIVE MV’S OVERALL: I was surprised there wasn't at least one more video for this phase honestly? I feel like Kansas or Souk Eye would have made for great videos for this phase. That aside tho, both the videos it does have are a lot of fun. My literal only complaint is that I wanted to see more of Ace. Bring him back in the future.

PHASE SIX:

Momentary Bliss: 8/10. This songs fine, but what sells it for me is the video is more slice of life/a day in the life of the studio. I’m always a fan of those moments. Bonus points goes to Murdoc trying to fuckin poison Jamie and it backfiring on him.

Désolé: 10/10: ooooh this song is so beautiful...I love it so much. 2D Noodle and Russel got to have such a fun time in this video and they deserve it. And poor Murdoc, having his little sad times by his asshole self. I love him but I think he deserved it. The others needed a good break from the bullshit and I’m glad they got it.

Aries: 6/10. Video itself is kinda boring, but the song is nice. Murdoc deserved to be left behind in Désolé after what he tried to pull here.

Friday the 13th: 3/10. I don’t care for this video and I really don’t care for the song. Not much else to say.

PAC-MAN: 6/10. Video’s fine, I like some of the little details in it, but it’s nothing special. The song itself is nice tho, super calming, I like it.

Strange Timez: 20/20 MY GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH...VISUALS ARE SO FUN, I LOVE ROBERT SMITH SO I LOVE HIM IN HERE, ITS JUST A GOOD TIME ALL AROUND!

The Pink Phantom: 5/10 I just don’t really care for this song?? I like Elton John but I couldn’t get myself to like this one no matter how many times I’ve listened. 2D got to be happy in this video tho so I’ll give it a pass.

The Valley of the Pagans: 6/10. This song fuckin slaps but the video feels like a boring redo of 19-2000 except for it’s ending. It gets points for giving everyone Plastic Beach feelings at the end and hyping up the video after it.

The Lost Chord: 20/20. Y’all knew this was coming. This was something I’d BEEN hoping for story wise and I finally got it. Was it maybe a little rushed? Yes. But GOD it was such a nice thing to see them say “hey we’ve wrapped up this part of the story for good and want everyone to move on from it, so we’ve given it a properly acknowledged final send off.” And tangibly seeing everyone's emotions laid out about the island and their times there was very nice. And  I know Jamie and Damon have stated Murdoc is irredeemable, blah blah yes I know hes an asshole still, but I WILL think about Murdoc in this video and how he seemed actually regretful and what that means to me and the fact that it was no one else but 2D himself being the one to reach out to Murdoc in the end to save him until my dying breath, thank you very much. And this song?? Fuckin beautiful, it had those Plastic Beach vibes again and felt good for it’s send off song, I love it.

PHASE SIX MV’S OVERALL: I may be a little split on some of them and on Song Machine as a whole, but tbh I love the phase six art style so much and most times the videos were pretty good. Bringing back PB in the end was something I always wanted too so it really does get bonus points from me for that. I’m 50/50 on them overall. The great ones are great, and the meh ones are just kinda boring, so it evens out in the end.

STAND ALONE VIDEOS MENTION:

Do Ya Thing: 10/10. I’ve said before I love the 3D animation and the slice of life stuff, so this one’s obviously a favorite, and you really cant go wrong with an Andre 3000 feature either. 

Superfast Jellyfish: 3/10. This song is kinda fun but I don’t give a single shit about the music video.

Garage Palace: 8/10. Very fun pixel visuals for a change along with a killer song, super enjoyable.

So what’s my final verdict on Gorillaz and their long music video history?

Honestly for a group thats been going as long as they have, I dont think they have too many misses in their catalog. The ones that aren’t as fun are just kinda there, but the videos that really stand out stand out far above the ones that don’t hit the mark as well and in the end it all feels like a good balance. No band has a perfect video every time, but the ones that Gorillaz did well they did amazing on and I enjoy it immensely when that happens.

Sidenotes after watching all of those:

For the love of god please put Russel in the videos more, please, he deserves it and I would love to see him more.

On that note, BRING DEL BACK WITH HIM TOO!!

And speaking of characters to bring back, I want Ace to come back and join Murdoc sometimes, even if its only once or twice more, I need to see them interact PLEASE.

Last note but Jamie, please, I’m begging, show less of mostly naked or fully naked of Murdoc in future videos, we’ve had our fill by now.

#can you tell im hyperfixating again??? anyways #kief rambles about gorillaz #gorillaz #this was fun but good lord

[thefudge]

Do you have any Romanian (language or just content-wise) media recs? Particularly novels and poetry but really any must-sees/must-reads are welcome!

uuuu! 

my brain is too fried right now to do any kind of exhaustive list so i’m gonna rec a few things that i know you could get your hands on/available in translation:

for two thousand years, by mihail sebastian - really heartbreaking yet also lucid, adventurous and darkly humorous memoir of a Jewish writer in his youth at the height of nazism in romania (there’s even a Penguin classic of it)

diary of a short-sighted adolescent by mircea eliade - a funny and bittersweet bildungsroman about a bookish teenager who wants to read everything now and be the cleverest person alive while also struggling with being super lazy and unmotivated because he’s young and restless, it’s very #relatable. but it’s also fascinating to read this in opposition with “for two thousand years” because eliade entertained legionnaire nazi sympathies at one point. (also, you should check out his novellas too, especially the fantastic ones)

anything you can find in translation by gabriela adamesteanu - just lovely, delicate prose about growing up, being an adult, inhabiting your body and your feelings in an oppressive world 

the hatchet by mihail sadoveanu (apparently, there is a translation) - a lot of people give this novel flak, mostly because we had to read it in high school, but it’s a great and deceptively simple little novel that says a lot more about people than it cares to admit. the action takes you through several villages in the East-Carpathians, where a peasant woman goes in search of her missing husband. it’s a fascinating mixture of crime and folklore and mythology. 

any novella by costache negruzzi, but especially “alexandru lapusneanu”, another classic we had to read in school and which gets a lot of flak. it’s so bonkers and #quality-trash. let’s just say there’s a scene where the power-hungry voievod/prince lapusneanu enacts a red-wedding situation and builds a pyramid of freshly severed heads to impress his lady wife *swoon* 

the forest of the hanged by liviu rebreanu - i know people argue this isn’t his best novel, but it’s got the most heart. it’s the story of a soldier/philosopher in WW1 who falls in love with people again. that’s it. he falls in love with people, and the war and everything in between doesn’t matter anymore. or it matters only as it pertains to people, and people alone. 

gallants of the old court by mateiu caragiale - a bizarre gem of early 20th century Romanian nightlife, a wonderful, orgiastic fugue, feverish and infuriating. it’s mostly about rich men and social-climbers getting into existential trouble, but also into real trouble. normally, because the action takes place right before WW1, this would signify the end of an era. but we don’t really have a beginning or end. we are part-balkan, part-french imitators, part-whatever-sticks. nothing moves us, and everything does. and that’s why it’s a sort of love/hate letter to romanians 

in terms of poetry, some personal faves:  nichita stanescu, ana blandiana, monica pillat, marin sorescu,  a.e. baconsky, lucian blaga, emil brumaru, nora iuga, marta petreu, nina cassian. and yes, mihai eminescu, our national poet, though i’m often in two minds about him.  

poetry in translation is really hit and miss because of the “untranslatable”, so here’s two lines from a poem by nina cassian, because i want to show you what i mean:

            De când m-ai părăsit mă fac tot mai frumoasă             ca hoitul luminând în întuneric. 

this roughly and poetically translates to:

          Since you left me I’ve grown more beautiful

           like the corpse lighting the dark 

and this is sort of lovely on its own, but you’d need to know and hear and taste the word “hoit” in romanian to really feel the abjectness, because “hoit” is a smelly, ugly yet also alluring, already decomposing version of “cadavru” aka cadaver/corpse. also “ mă fac tot mai frumoasă” cannot be accurately summed up in “i’ve grown more beautiful”. a literal translation would be “I make myself more beautiful”. in romanian, this is obviously idiomatic and not literal. and yet, these strange self-reflexive valences make these lines strong and eerie, as if the speaker were authoring her beauty, shaping it out of clay and darkness and “hoit”,  like a butterfly cracking the corpse’s shell to get out, but also retaining some of its mesmerizing stench. why did i pause to do a close-reading of romanian poetry??? anyway, you catch my drift

in terms of movies, a recent one i really loved was sierranevada by cristi puiu, which is a neurotic family drama that drains you but also lifts you up 

and yeah, the hype is real, 4 months, 3 weeks and 2 days by cristi mungiu really is that good (about two young women trying to get an illegal abortion in communist romania. it won the palme d’or for very legit reasons. it breaks you in small ways. the very last shot of the film you’ll carry with you forever). i also liked graduation by cristi mungiu, where a young overachieving girl is about to graduate high school and go on to study abroad, until a terrible event unmoors both her and her family. the movie turns almost hallucinatory at one point, filled with ambiguity and a kind of sleep-walking quality 

tales from the golden age by cristi mungiu (him again!) is also fantastic for anyone who wants to get a taste of communist romania and the sad-funny absurdities of everyday life. this movie is split in 2 parts and the format is that of an anthology, almost like watching several short films at once. and there is one film in the anthology that always turns me inside out, and it’s really silly, it’s this bonnie and clyde type story about this girl and boy who meet at a party and devise an ingenious get-rich scam and just run around a few neighborhoods trying to put it into practice and it’s...the sweetest, most incomplete thing. there is such a strange, lovely connection there that never gets realized, and there is a MOMENT between them where he helps her step down from this ledge and he holds her briefly to him and i remember being in the cinema and thinking THIS, this is THE MOMENT where i felt these people were real. it was such an honest, lovely moment. like the equivalent of this song. ANYWAY, why am i rambling so much??? this ask was supposed to be SHORT. 

aferim! by radu jude is also a really neat movie and provides a look into the historical romanian/rroma relationship and why it’s so messed up, yet also so organic

the death of mr. lazarescu by cristi puiu is also a great little film about a man who gets sick and goes to the hospital. and...dies, as you can tell from the title. on the surface, he dies because of institutional ineptness and a broken healthcare system. at a deeper level, he dies because we no longer know how to help people. various hospital staff in the film do try to help him and fail for various stupid or quietly heartbreaking reasons. it’s a movie about being physically unable to care. there’s indifference, sure, but also this great exhaustion of the human spirit. but the movie is also darkly funny. might not be a great pandemic watch, but then again it might be exactly what you need 

there are soooo many other classics in terms of books (morometii by marin preda, for instance, about a patriarch in a small village in the South who slowly realizes the world he used to live in doesn’t have room for him anymore, and maybe it never had) but i’m gonna end on a quote from ion creanga, one of the most cryptic classics of romanian lit:

“Şi eu eram vesel ca vremea cea mai bună şi şturlubatic şi copilăros ca vântul în tulburea sa”

my translation: “and I was cheerful like the best weather and frolicsome and childish like the wind in its cloudiness” 

and again, the words in romanian and their particular sound and bite (”şturlubatic”, “tulburea”) immediately take me elsewhere. creanga writes about childhood, but it’s never really childhood. he writes as an adult who, in my opinion, was never really a child, but a weird, small god of the land. i mean the word “tulburea” can mean both “turmoil” and “muddiness”. the wind can be anguished, but also just a little cloudy, just a little hazy, shrinking its agony, howling it in the child. it’s eerie and gorgeous. so, that’s what he does: creanga writes about children as if they were wind-like spirits. he writes stories about devils and the peasants who trick them and school books filled with spit and flies, and warm eggs stolen from nests and fairy-tales of a world that is buried somewhere inside us, but not too deep, things hidden under our clothes or nails or even in our hair. and it’s all so physical and convoluted, just like his prose. and i don’t think anyone will ever make sense of him and that’s what makes him so discombobulatingly great.

anyway, this was supposed to be...like, really short! and not gassy! i’m sorry. i love waxing about all this gay stuff. i’m so gay about it. 

realistically tho, the nearest thing you’ll find in your local bookshop is probably books by famous ‘theater of the absurd’ playwright, eugen ionesco, or novels in translation by contemporary author mircea cartarescu. both are pretty good, so go for it! (if you want to start small, i’d recommend REM by mircea cartarescu, because it’s so trippy and meta and captures that summer holiday eeriness so well. it goes well with this romanian song sung in english)

okay byeeeee 

#romanian lit #recs #romanian literature #reference #my thoughts #romanian cinema #i hope no actual romanians come across this list and eviscerate me haha #im sorry this is such....MUCH

[hoe-doroki]

ana reads bnha ch166

previous chapter here first chapter here next chapter here

Ah, okay, so Seiji’s big character trait is that he sees things in binaries. That makes a lot of sense for how he treated Bakugou in the initial exam…and regarding the human condition. I’m really only taking note of this in case I ever write a fic that includes him…probably not. But if I do, I’ll nail the characterization.

God, this quirk singularity theory is on my mind a lot. Because there’s just so deep you can dig with this. Like…are all you family’s past generations of quirks stored in your DNA? What genes hold quirks? Is it one or many? They’re obviously not simple like Punnett squares that you learn about in HS bio, because then you wouldn’t have a quirk like Bakugou’s that’s a blend of his mother’s and father’s. That’s more like the complexity of skin color than the simplicity of detached or attached earlobes. But still, all of both parents’ genes shouldn’t be being passed on, so they shouldn’t be accumulating quite like that. So, theoretically, within a simple family tree, you should have some generations where the quirks are weaker because however the parents’ quirks combined weakened them. Like if, say, if Denki and Jirou had a child who could only use electricity out of their earlobes. You know? Or the fact that Shouto’s child will probably only get one of his quirks. And, also, remember that 20% is the number of quirkless and that’s not RARE. This is the hill I will die on. I’m not sure if a quirkless x quirk-having baby would end up with a split chance of having no quirk or the other parent’s quirk or if there’s a chance that they could have the quirk but watered down…but yeah, there’s just a lot to dig at here. I imagine a LOT of people in this world are super consumed thinking about this theory. I mean, Seiji has a WEIRD ASS QUIRK. Depending on what his parents’ quirk(s) is/are, he probably does a lot of thinking about what a kid of his could end up with.

IT’S HERE IT’S HERE IT’S HERE

I don’t have anything of substance to say here, so I probably shouldn’t have included this panel but OF COURSE I’M INCLUDING THIS PANEL. IT’S HOLY.

SO MUCH TO SAY. Starting with the simplest—Bakugou says “Todoroki” here!! It’s always a big deal when Bakugou says a character’s actual name, and it’s Todoroki of all people. Todoroki is basically #2 on Bakugou’s shit list. He’s probably just saying ‘Baldy’ (which is a fave gag of mine in the series, btw) because he legitimately has no idea what Yaoyoroshi’s name is.

Now into the good stuff!! Okay, we have BLATANT (though reluctant) acknowledgment that this is Bakugou’s own problem. Which means that he’s beginning to acknowledge his weaknesses. Which, for all the world, seems to mean some of his actual weaknesses, like the ones that landed him in this class today, rather than his feelings not too long ago of being ‘too weak’ to keep from ending the symbol of peace. I mean, he probably does still feel that way a little bit, but that kind of weakness is no longer the only one visible to Bakugou. He’s clearly not fully actualized, since he’s still been an ass on this day, but it’s literally his first BIG step in the right direction. (Arguably the first big thing was him losing to Deku in that very first lesson, but that’s something that happened externally. This is his first move of doing big internal work. And I’m so, so proud of my boy.)

Overall: There was another typo in this chapter 😈 This chapter is really just giving me everything I need. Pretty Shou, an additional TWO panels with Shou SMILING, and a chance for me to exercise my superiority complex. Speaking of a superiority complex—we didn’t get the panel with Katsuki imitating the ‘cute face’ face!! Now that’s a tragedy. I’m so thankful they added that to the anime 🙌 But we get BIG character growth and self-reflection from Katsuki in this chapter. I’m so, so proud of our boys and I’m so glad they had to do this.

Woof, LONG recap. Y’all, this took me the better part of an hour to do XD. That’s why it’s taking me so long to read this dang series. Because I’m a full idiot, just talking into the void endlessly about this show.

#ana reads the manga

[callioope]

Continuing my reactions to Avatar: The Last Airbender. 

This post is about Book 2. See my overall impressions and thoughts on Book 1 here.

Quick/General Thoughts

Uhhh pretty wild there is both a solar eclipse and a super comet happening in the same summer… anyways!!!

Ba Sing Se was so messed up omg

Aang

SMH more adults trying to take advantage of Aang. I was furious with the Earth Kingdom general who tried to force Aang to fight the Fire Lord well before he was ready. Clearly he was not ready! And then the audacity for him to attack Aang and then Katara to provoke the Avatar state was whole levels of messed up. 

The Great Appa Kidnapping: Yeah, so, as soon as the sand traders took him, I was like, “Oh no. I’ve heard about this. They are going to be in trouble!” But even then I didn’t know it stretched out over so many episodes. These episodes broke my heart! Aang’s complete distress at having lost Appa. Then the episode from Appa’s POV. Poor Appa! He goes through so much. It’s devastating. And then both Appa and Aang both dream of how they originally met each other? UNFAIR. CRUEL. HOW DARE THE CREATORS DO THIS TO ME. (I’m being facetious I love it I live for this kind of drama this is how i express they were doing good storytelling)

The whole “final chakra” being about letting go of attachments… hmm that felt VERY Star Wars of them… Filoni is this your doing? (Although actually I don’t remember seeing his name on any Book 2 episodes.)

Sokka

My fave continues to be the long-suffering Sokka, just trying to get his family to Omashu, it shouldn’t be this hard!!! This was literally what I wrote at the time of watching “Chapter Two: The Cave of Two Lovers,” and OH LITTLE DID I KNOW!!! [cut to Book 3… lmao… anyways]

Sokka making a map to help keep track of the maze-like cave/tunnel is actually really clever. I can’t believe people think he’s stupid. I mean, sure, it didn’t end up working, but that’s because the cave was magic or whatever, and that is beyond his control!

Side note, but lol at Sokka’s purchases and love for shopping. His ridiculous belt! How excited he was that it matched his bag!

Second side note, I was pretty excited to see that gif where Sokka is making that “I’m watching you” gesture and then goes “Water tribe!”

Katara

Yeah, notice how I don’t have much to say about Katara? It’s not that I don’t like her or that I don’t think she’s interesting, but. I just don’t really have a lot to say about her. 

I was amused by how she handled those bullies. My impression before I started watching was that she was going to be this like, pure and GoodTM character, but she definitely has her flaws and that is better.

I really liked the scene where she is able to calm Aang down while he’s in the Avatar state. There was good build up to that, showing her worry every time he entered it and her awareness of the fact that he only ever enters it when feeling upset. The fact that she was able to do that clearly Meant Something. So again, I suppose, I really feel up to this point that the show is very much like “Aang/Katara Endgame!” it felt very obvious to me. And I knew before starting the show that Zuko and Katara are a thing — but Aang and Katara is just so heavy handed that it was impossible for me to ship them with anyone else. They were just foundational to the show. Like it always felt like a foregone conclusion to me, almost as if they were established from the beginning although they obviously weren’t.

Toph

I spent like, the second half of Book 1 thinking “WHEN TOPH WHEN TOPH!” Imagine my ire that she still isn’t around for the first five episodes of Book 2, which is titled “EARTH” my goodness.

But OH was I delighted by “Chapter 6: The Blind Bandit”!!! I loved her intro, I loved how Aang is just immediately in awe of her skills when he sees her. He knows she’s exactly the teacher he’s been waiting for. “She waited and listened!” he says. Yes. I love it. (But also, lol at Sokka booing Aang.) Despite this, Aang really does not handle that first interaction very well!

So frustrating how her parents were treating her. “She’s fragile and helpless!” what a thing to say about your daughter. [Also you literally named her “tough”?!] And he is basically going to imprison her, wtf. & how do you get off saying “the avatar is no longer welcome here”?! smh children whose parents try to “control” their kids always end up being the most rebellious.

I was amused that “my dad changed his mind” apparently was a popular lie daughters use on this show. *facepalm*

I liked the contrast between how Toph wanted to teach Aang and how Katara thought he should be taught! That was interesting. And yeah, Toph certainly lives up to her name. 

Zuko & Iroh

Spent a good portion of the early part of this season wondering how Zuko and Iroh could possibly be related to the awful Fire Lord (and Azula for that matter — jeez she is nuts!), and longing to know what happened to Zuko’s mom. (Obviously that would be answered soon!)

Knowing that Zuko eventually joins the Aang crew, but also remembering that I never saw Iroh with them, made me SEVERELY worried that something terrible would happen to Iroh. And I spent the entire rest of the series worrying about that. Uh, especially since, apparently Iroh is hopeless at Survival 101. Honestly that was surprising to me. 

Zuko deciding they needed to split up was devastating!!! No!!! I loved the adventures of Zuko & Iroh!! He said, “There's no reason for us to stick together,” and I was like, “Yes there is you idiot! Because you’re family and you love each other!!!” I was so sad. I mean, also Iroh is currently the only person who likes Zuko, so, you know, that might be a good reason to stay with him. Just a thought. 

The last thing Zuko needs is to be alone, that will NOT be good for his issues. And lo and behold, look! Immediately, he’s struggling on his own. But I did like that episode (“Chapter 7: Zuko Alone”) because we get to see Zuko’s mom! (Uh, did she have a name?) Turtle ducks are so cute.

“Everything I’ve done I’ve done to protect you.” THIS. SLAYED. ME!!!!!! I mean, y’all know Rogue One is my jam so this parallel with Zuko’s mom and Galen Erso????? I lost it. I just lost it. Plus, though it isn’t confirmed until later, we can tell she’s sacrificing herself to save Zuko and just. (A) what a completely messed up family, but (B) MY HEART. SHE BETTER BE ALIVE is all I’m saying.

Interesting side note: they never show Ozai’s face in the early seasons. 

If you assumed that I was delighted to see Iroh has been tailing Zuko this whole time, you’d be correct. I had hoped that was the case and was very glad it was. Although *facepalm* again at Zuko. I suppose he had no way of knowing Katara had healing powers but it was so frustrating knowing if he had just listened to them for one minute they could have helped Iroh after Azula blasted him. At least he made him tea and nursed him back to health. 

If the evil advisor of Ba Sing Se had files on everyone and knew everything that went on… I mean… did he know about Iroh and Zuko? 

I didn’t jot down any notes about this at the time, BUT. Man. Did I ADORE Zuko and Iroh’s adventures in Ba Sing Se. I mean it was a nice relief from all the other crazy stuff happening. (Not happy to see Jet though. Ugh.) 

Finally, though, Zuko’s betrayal at the very end of the season totally shocked me. Because of spoilers, I knew he’d join Aang’s crew, and so it was so confusing! And such a regression, I really didn’t understand it and was very worried about what it would mean for his redemption arc — but more on that in the next post, don’t want to get ahead.

Azula

Oh. Boy. Again, I knew she was going to be crazy, but I don’t think I was prepared for just how messed up she is. “Do the tides command this ship. You said they would not allow us…” Jeez that is pedantic in a very bizarre way and obviously not what was meant… Yikes.

Also, Azula is much better at finding Zuko than Zuko is at finding Aang. Just a stray observation.

“Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home.” [insert IT’s A TRAP gif here]

“If the Earth Kingdom finds us, they'll have us killed. If the Fire Nation finds us, they'll turn us over to Azula. Earth kingdom it is.” Yeah, this line was hilarious but also sad. It really said a lot about Azula, and Zuko and Iroh’s relationship with her.

Had no idea Azula had her own crew. It was incredibly clear that Ty Lee felt coerced to join her and didn’t really want to, but that was less clear to me for Mai. Mainly seemed like Mai was bored with where she was and was just like “shrugs might as well do evil stuff.” 

I did know that a character named “Mai” would eventually be Zuko’s love interest (and it is pretty heavily portrayed that she has a crush on him), so at this point, I was very much like, “Hmm. This character is too apathetic and annoying, I don’t want her to end up with Zuko!” Plus, the fact that her name was pronounced “May,” (which was not how I thought “Mai” was pronounced) and I knew Zuko would have a thing with a lady in a tea shop, I wasn’t 100% sure Zuko/Mai were end game. 

“She’s crazy and she needs to go down.” I think Iroh said this. I just don’t know what to say. Why is Azula the way she is? That’s never entirely clear to me. In some ways, it’s implied she was just Like That (in the flashback where mom is like “What is wrong with you?”) and perhaps she’s just her father’s daughter. I don’t need a reason, per se. Idk. I just don’t know what to say to her. She clearly needs help. 

#avatar the last airbender #avatar: the last airbender #atla #a:tla

[shes-fast-like-me]

i know how much it matters to you

i know how much it matters to you

AO3 Link

Pairing(s): Established Lifetane, Gibby x his boyfriend

Word Count: 1,791

Warnings: Mentions of childhood neglect and bad parents, discussion of mental illness and trauma, alcohol. (Tell me if you feel anything else should be tagged!)

may was borderline personality disorder awareness month (alongside being adhd awareness and mental health awareness month in general) so i decided to project onto my fave. the symptoms of it aren’t 100% being portrayed here but this is something i feel like a lot of us relate to so?? idk man emotional impermanence be like that

=+=+=+=

"Here comes the big man himself!" Elliott called, twisting around in his seat to wave Makoa over to sit with them in the living space.

"Show us the ring!" Ajay beamed as the tall man made his way over to the other Legends gathered around their small makeshift coffee table. He held out his hand, a rather dainty bejeweled silver ring on his ring finger. Everyone cooed over it.

"You're so lucky, man," Elliott said, handing Makoa a beer as he sat down on the couch next to him, "congrats."

"Aye, thanks bruddahs," Makoa grinned from ear to ear. The man was always bright and full of smiles but Octavio swore he has never seen him this happy. He was almost radiant.

"When's the weddin'?" Ajay asked, sitting back against Octavio's side and sipping on her mocktail. She always hated alcohol so the drink was as fruity and non-alcoholic as Elliott could possibly mix up.

"Spring of next year," Makoa said, "We want some time on our honeymoon before the next season, so,"

Everyone nodded in agreement. The season breaks between spring and summer were a little longer than the autumn to winter breaks and since Makoa was proposed to this spring it gave them extra time to plan everything. Makoa and his fiancé had relatives all over the Frontier and would probably want to plan the wedding at a time when the most family members could attend. And the other Legends, of course.

"So," Octavio set his empty cocktail glass down and picked up a can of beer off the table. He could get a little drunk, it was only their first night back onto the dropship, the new season kicking off in two days. "Any idea for wedding gifts?"

He was loaded. He could afford pretty much anything they wanted.

"Ah, no, it's no problem, bruddah-"

"No, no, I insist," He decided to pour the beer into his empty glass anyway, not wanting to waste the ice cubes still sitting at the bottom, "anything you like, I got it."

Makoa laughed. "Just you showing up is enough for me."

"Alright," Octavio sat down into the headrest but still decided he was going to buy Makoa and his fiancé something anyway. After all, that's what you do at weddings, right? Octavio has been to many weddings before, many of them being his own father's, and the couple was always gifted a fancy car or yacht or something of the sort.

He mostly just tuned out the rest of the conversation. Talk of weddings always reminded him of his dad and how weddings were a near weekly occurance for him. He wanted to go for Makoa's sake, of course, and he would force himself to even if Ajay told him it was okay to stay home if it got too overwhelming. He'd just get blackout drunk at the party and probably just dissociate the whole evening, but he was willing to do that for his friend.

Later that evening, Octavio lay on Ajay's bed as they watched anime together on the small holo-TV provided in their temporary rooms. Octavio buried his face into Ajay's pink hair as they spooned, his arm around her waist. He would've fallen asleep if his anxiety wasn't keeping him up. If he had his legs on right now they'd be tapping away furiously, probably disturbing Ajay from watching the show altogether. Octavio kinda missed tapping his feet, he couldn't sleep without moving them and now that he didn't have them he'd imagine the sensation, like a ghost, and get sad whenever he realized it wasn't real. But that's such a small thing to get upset about.

His fingers grazed against the skin showing between Ajay's t-shirt and her sweatpants, tapping on the waistband as he worked up the courage to ask a question that has been itching at his brain all evening.

"Baby?" he said, uncertain of how to begin. She looked at him over her shoulder. "Have you ever thought.... about marriage?"

Instantly he cringed at the phrasing and tried to fix it. "I mean, not to me, necessarily. I'm just wondering- If you ever want to get married?"

She looked back towards the TV with a smile. "Depends who's askin'," she replied simply, "not at the moment though, I'm too busy. But it would be nice in the future."

Octavio bit his lip and really had the urge to tap his missing feet. The fear ached in his chest and he could feel his hands sweating. "I don't think I wanna get married," he said it quickly, almost afraid to hear her reaction. Verbally retracting as if he expected her to hit him or something. Why was that his instinctual reaction? No one ever hit him for speaking out.

She looked down at his hand and lightly brushed her fingers over his knuckles. "That's fine," she said but he couldn't pick up the tone. It made it feel worse. Was she upset? Was she hoping for a different answer?

"It's not," it took all his strength not to let his voice crack, assuming that she wasn’t satisfied with his answer. She turned to look at him properly. He tried to blink away the tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Babe, it's all fine. We don't have to get married. You don't have to get married, ever, if that's what makes you comfortable."

"But I want to," he said, voice trembling. "I want to make you happy if that’s what you want."

"I don't need marriage to be happy in life." She held his hand comfortingly and traced circles into it. "Besides, who says I'm gon' marry you?" She joked and he loved the way her nose scrunched up when she smiled at him. It lifted some of the weight off his chest and he smiled at the joke despite the tears.

"Okay," he swallowed and wiped the tears from his eyes, his fingers shaking.

"It's alright," she pushed the hair out of his eyes. He admired all the freckles dotting her skin. If Ajay let him stare at her for a while he could count them and maybe calm down a little bit, but that'd be weird of him to ask.

He let out a breath, "it's just," the tears were back but the tension of holding them in and bottling everything up was gone, "I don't want to be like my father."

"You're not." She whispered and studied his face as he continued.

"I don't wanna have kids and have them go through the same shit I did." Tears spilled from his eyes and down the sides of his cheeks. It hurt to think about treating his kids the way he was treated. He didn't even think his childhood had affected him that much until now. But it did, it hurt, it hurt to be ignored your whole life and live with no constants. He was constantly scared of everyone abandoning him, of things being taken away from him. Everything was so temporary to him, even Ajay. What if they got married and one day she decided she didn't love him anymore? How would he even handle something like that? He'd be crushed.

"You're not ya father," Ajay said calmly, bringing his hand up to her lips and kissing his knuckles, "and I've seen ya with my li'l cousins. You'd be a great dad. You said yaself you'd never want to hurt them the way your dad did, so you won't. Not intentionally."

"Do you think my father intended to hurt me?" He asked, his tone a little more passionate than he had intended it to be. "Obviously it was out of his control how I would react to-"

"Tavi, he did awful things to ya. You're allowed to be upset about it."

"But if I don't make excuses for him, how can I excuse my own shitty actions?" He covered his face and dug his palms into his eye sockets, blocking her out from his blurry view. "I'm even worse." His voice broke.

"You're not. You're ill. Ya just need some time and help to get things right. You're taking those steps. Your father never even considered that. That's what makes ya better than him."

It's true, he did have a therapist now, trying to help him manage the many disorders and issues he got stuck with. And he was trying so hard to be better, but it all felt so useless sometimes when he kept acting like this, being like this. Whenever he relapsed, whenever he split on someone, whenever he acted out or isolated or dissociated or cried. He always felt like he was taking steps backwards, not forwards.

"Listen, I know recovery's not easy for ya," she tapped her fingers on his chest and he moved his hands from his face to look at her as she spoke. "But you're pushin’ through it regardless. And I'm gon' be here for ya all the way through it, ya hear me? I'm not goin’ anywhere."

"Everyone says that." He sniffled.

"Yeah, well, I mean it," she said, "and I'll promise this to ya, that I won't leave ya alone no matter how hard it gets." She looked directly into his eyes, her soft voice calming his thoughts.

"Here," she said and took a beaded bracelet off her wrist. It was one of those kandi bracelets she sometimes wore, this one pink and purple with the word "LOVE" spelled out on it. "It's a promise." She held it out to him.

He looked at her hand, puzzled.

"It's like a promise ring. It should make ya feel better to have a physical representation of my promise to ya. I read that it helps with BPD to-"

He sat up and hugged her. "Thank you," he murmured into her shoulder. She pat his back and when they released each other he took the bracelet and put it on his wrist. "Thank you, " he breathed out again.

"Ya welcome." She smiled softly and honestly, her smile momentarily lit up the room. He was so lucky to have her.

"Now, can we finish the show? This next episode's the best one." She gestured with the remote to the paused screen. He hadn't even noticed when she paused it to speak to him. He smiled and nodded, laying back down on his side, her snuggling into him as she pressed 'play'.

"I'm sorry if I ruined the evening." He apologized.

"Ya didn't. I still love ya." She said and took his hand in hers, their fingers intertwined.

And after watching that magical girl show and breathing in her flowery perfume, Octavio finally found himself able to peacefully drift off to sleep for the night.

=+=+=+=

Taglist: @herondaleatheart @brontophile @moontearchild @soulheartthewolf @hey-its-mika @xbeaxbeax (You may always ask to be added or taken off the list! Being on the taglist notifies you of whenever I post a fic so if you are interested, please message me!)

#lifetane #octane apex #lifeline apex

[its-a-branwen-thing]

On Qrow: Part II

Back at it again with the white vans an over-analysis of one of my faves! In my last post on Qrow, I focused a lot on how legacies play into his character. How he’s slowly becoming a character who can leave a legacy, but that the journey there is still ongoing. And it always is.

Disclosure, as always, this is all pure speculation, enhanced by my personal opinions, and for fun! :)

Legacies play into all of these characters. RWBY is about stories. Especially in regards to our heroes: specifically Ruby, Yang, Oscar, Juane, and Ren. All of them have character legacies that inform who they are today. Summer, Raven, Ozma, Pyrrha, Li Ren. These are all characters that we know had/have their own motivations, destiny, and ideals--and those echo through the narrative in such grand ways.

Mementos are a big part of these characters’ stories. While not all of these are explicitly physical items that serve as reminders, there are stories behind these shots and the objects or focus of them. Ren killing the Nuckelavee with his father’s dagger, Ruby’s mother and their shared silver eyes.

That’s why taking a look at a particular spot in V4 sparked a new idea:

Qrow is also a part of legacies. But this is one he was upholding. In V6 we saw his realization that his own followed legacy was in jeopardy--the one thing he’d staked his life on--and that continues to inform his faith in his nieces and the younger generation going forward. Because it isn’t Oz’s path he’s following, but theirs. Even if it is is hard letting them go it alone.

Qrow chooses his path at the end of V6, and it’s to help uplift this new generation, so that they can create their own stories in honor of or in spite of the ones that were left for them. It’s subtle, but it illustrates that Qrow’s growth has been in doing the things he believes is right, which is why he cautions James on so many of his decisions, why he seems to hang back, to lash out less, why he seems...well, softer. He’s not drunk, for one. And two he’s not as worried for his proteges. They’re taking fine enough care of themselves. Which is why the emphasis on his connection to Clover is so fundamentally important. Because if I look at it from a storytelling standpoint, we see these two characters express very similar ideals with completely different views of how to follow them. But it’s the story Clover has, the one where he’s a beloved leader and soldier, that impacts Qrow’s future the most.

It’s also between them that we witness one of the most brutal death scenes in RWBY.

My knee-jerk reaction to this scene was that it was the beginning of the Scarecrow “losing his mind”, so to speak, because it has been the pattern of the Oz generals to fall by the thing they were seeking in their allusions. But every time I followed this thought I couldn’t realize why it felt so wrong to me. I thought for a bit that Qrow might turn, the he might really and truly go crazy, but I honestly can’t see it. Why? Because if I’m reading Clover’s character right, we see that the fundamental differences between him and Qtow are what the story’s been pointing to all along: one is part of a legacy he never questioned, while the other has no tethers to his old legacies. Qrow’s placing his faith, quite certainly, on the future. (Also, if you wanted to make a point about the cruelty of reality, you could do it elsewhere. RWBY hasn’t really been that kind of show). And what really hit me as an important factor in this is the final shot of Qrow:

He isn’t angry. He isn’t gunning immediately for Ironwood. He looks heartbroken. He looks as he has all season--quiet, but in control.

He’s also holding onto...that’s right, a memento.

Yeah, back to talking about mementos, I am.

In seeing what was said about their relationship by the writers (communication not being 1:1 with writing/animating--also, again, not looking to discuss the implications of that at the moment, I understand and sympathize), I think I’m beginning to see some of Clover’s decisions, as they’re written, in a completely new light.

He’s cocky. He’s proud. But he’s a good guy. He encourages Qrow. He obviously likes him as a person. And this whole season we’re rooting for them to be good partners why’d you sneak in all that sexual tension though, yo, in whatever way that is. But then it’s made clear that Clover and Qrow both prioritize entirely different things until E12 when Qrow nods to Tyrian and...you know what I won’t even....no, I’m not even gonna poke that. The same different things that ultimately split team RWBY and the Ace Ops up. It’s even in their fights. If Qrow is the “Clover” to RWBY, Clover is the “Qrow” to the Ace Ops. Both the oldest and wisest of the de facto teams. Those fights are set up like that for a reason. Even them sharing shifting focus in E12 is significant. And RWBY wins because the Ace Ops don’t “care” about each other as they do, that’s the whole point that I can see. And so Clover shares his teams’ fate...but, like, way worse.

Clover knows when his orders seem harsh but he doesn’t question them. He’s never been shown to do so. He hesitates, sure, but so does Marrow. And unlike Marrow, Clover isn’t a new addition. He’s older. He’s their leader. It’s his charge they’ll follow. He’s not a character easily changed. We knew who he was the moment he swung in to arrest our heroes.

(Side note: I used to think this was a conspiratorial look that they were planning something. But I think now what I see is Clover noticing and then ultimately ignoring Qrow’s concern. His look hardens back to Ironwood with what I can now see as resolve. It’s why Qrow looks down. It’s almost like he’s hurt.)

So when we encounter this duo in the tundra, after their plane crash, and we see Clover’s character attempt to negotiate with Qrow, we see Qrow’s resolve harden. He isn’t going to follow Ironwood’s orders. He finds them wrong. But Clover is Ironwood’s right hand, he can’t listen to any personal feelings he may have, as Qrow and Robyn do. He even parallels Marrow in his conversations with Robyn, in that they both advise her to follow the law on two separate instances, and she makes it abundantly obvious that she thinks the law is rubbish. But Clover is the law. He’s supposed to uphold that trust. Because he’s entirely loyal. He’s a good person upholding a man he trusts. We don’t know his history, but I assume as the elite of the elite he earned his position. He spent years earning Ironwood’s trust (as Winter says--”You can’t buy loyalty you have to earn it”). And he isn’t a disingenuous character with sneaky ulterior motives. He’s how he’s presented. Point blank, heart presumably on his sleeve. I thought he’d turncoat to join our heroes, but now I see why he didn’t. (Then again, not having all the information is...testy)

Which is why this hits so damn hard.

“Sometimes the right decision is the hardest to make. I trust James with my life! I wanted to trust you.”

I wish I could emphasize that last line more. Clover is making an extraordinarily hard choice. He’s choosing loyalty to Ironwood over his partnership and relationship with Qrow. Because he trusts Ironwood more. This isn’t a character failing, it’s just tragic.

And with that last line I think he feels that Qrow betrayed Ironwood as well and, by effect, him. Because if Qrow had just listened to Ironwood’s plan and given himself up, none of this would have happened. But now that Qrow’s gone rouge, so to speak, he has to see him as an enemy. He has to use tactics to lure him to cooperate. Clover wanted to trust Qrow too. And at the end, like a lot of other trusting partnerships this volume, it ended in a loss of that trust. Also Qrow breaking Clover’s aura after the Ace Op has Tyrian on the ropes is SO. GODDAMN. PAINFUL. And when Qrow sees that Clover’s willing to follow these orders, he probably thinks he’ll follow any, and likely why he sees this as a betrayal. Because he’s used to that which i will discuss next time thank you.

What makes this scene so poignant, what makes me realize Qrow’s next arc is going to tie into what Clover left for him, is because Qrow likely understands exactly what Clover was going through. Once upon a time he defended Oz. He ran Oz’s missions. He put those priorities first. He bet his life on this fight. And in the end he didn’t even know the truth of what he was fighting for. Oz lied to him (Yes, I understand why). Meanwhile this whole season has been built on the prospect of lies. Qrow knows the cost of blind trust. He’s trying to tell Clover to listen to his conscience, not silence it. He’s trying to tell him to do the right thing.

And at the end, Clover seems to do just that by telling him, infuriatingly, “good luck.” Not just in the broader sense, although what an absolute madlad. But in the sense that he understands why Qrow chose that path. Why Qrow made that decision to refuse arrest although I’d be hella pissed about him teaming up with Tyrian! tho Why you done did me like that, bruh?!.

Clover’s telling him, really, to do what Qrow thinks is right. It’s the final note of evidence for my theory. Clover’s spent this season prepping Qrow to have faith in himself, and now it’s Qrow’s turn to realize that potential. It’s a blessing, really, that he gives him. To finish what he started.

And Qrow clearly keeps Clover’s charm. Because he’s carrying on Clover’s legacy too, and the mistakes that may have been made along the way. He has to remedy them. And this isn’t the only instance of a “baton pass” between these two. If Qrow is in search of a new legacy (which, truth be told, might involve bringing Ironwood down), then he needs a new team to do it with. And, as it’s been stated countless times by this show, he isn’t the waste of space he say he is and it is a damn shame he doesn’t have a new team yet.

Which brings me to my final desperate reach point.

“What would you guys do without me?”

#awe yeah carpal tunnel #rwby #qrow branwen #there will be a part III! #one day.... #rwby meta #long af sry #im so flexible now ive reached so much #look i want qrow to also join the happy huntresses but i want him to interact with the ace ops too #savvy?

[goddess-aelin]

I split my fic rec list into two parts since it got so long. So, as promised, here is part 2! This is the canonverse/fantasy/random AUs. I always love me a good fantasy story but while compiling this list, I also realized that I definitely have a thing for werewolf and grounder Bellamy. It is what it is at this point lol.

Canonverse fics

-Darling, Just Hold My Hand by Killianslonghaul...N/R

a post-S4 fic where Clarke and Bellamy get together. Clarke gets a little sad that Bellamy doesn’t like PDA. Honestly, this is much angstier than I anticipated.

-I Have Been Homesick for You Since We Met by swishywillow....G

 I have read this fic a thousand times since I first read it. I completely 100% cannot handle how cute this fic is. Do not read in public because you will giggle like a child.  The 4 times Clarke sees Bellamy with a baby and the 1 time he sees her. Uncle!Bellamy. Featuring the most married platonic couple ever.

-Maybe This Time is Different by @griffinnblake...G

An alternate s5 story. Short but so fluffy that I can’t handle it. I had to plug my girl Lindsay’s fic. She’s such a talented writer!

- Love Will Come Through by monroeslittle ....M

 When the ark comes down, it is split into two camps. Clarke has to go live with the other camp, where she meets most of the characters that were part of the delinquents. This has one of my fave tropes, an arranged marriage where love literally comes through. Bellarke at their prime. Stunningly written and perfectly in character. One of my absolute favorites. Also threads book and show characterization together.

-Love is Not a Whisper (or a Weakness) also by monroeslittle...M

An AU where the 100′s ship crashes in a tropical area. This was such a cool concept and so well done!  Wells lives! Bellarke gets together (obviously)! And everyone is having babies.

-In My Dreams We Are Always Together by @andsowemeetagain...M

Oh lord, this one is chock full of my favorite tropes...grounder Bellamy, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, hothead Bellamy. So. Much. Angst. Clarke and the 100 come down and land in enemy territory. They make a deal with King Bellamy, which includes, you guessed it, an arranged Bellarke marriage! Features super amazing angsty smut.

-Just as You Are Mine by @prosciuttoe....M

  A grounder!Bellamy, arranged marriage fic. God I love this fic so much! The characters are perfect, we get cute, drunk Clarke, protective Bellamy, and Bellarke slowly falling in love.

-Stars In the Water, Blood on Our Hands by @grumpybell...M

A grounder Bellamy AU. Clarke gets sent from the Ark to make sure that Earth’s inhabitants are peaceful and welcoming. Eventually, Bellarke falls in love. So much angst, so much cuteness!

-They Will See My Strength (in This Love I’ve Found) by glowinghorizons...T

Ark AU where Bellarke gets fake married to help each other out. Such a good fic!

-And Now You’re Home by asroarke...M

A grounder Bellamy fic where he is the one who Clarke finds instead of Madi after she gets left behind in praimfaya. An absolutely beautiful fic! It has all of my favorite tropes.

-Come Get a Hold of Me by @talistheintrovert...T

Clarke is overwhelmed by being back in civilization again after being alone with Madi for so long. Bellamy helps her through it.

-The Price of Peace by @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky...T

 A spec fic of season 6 and honestly....looking back on it now, its not far off. Lets hope season 6 ends the same way. I DARE anyone who reads this to not cry at the ending. It is a bet you will lose.  Also go read all of Lindsey’s fics because I literally always have tears in my eyes when reading them.

Fantasy/Random AUs

-The Fire is Coming by adelicatepeach.....T

  A Pacific Rim AU that absolutely ripped my heart out and then put it back together. Clarke and Bellamy as Jaeger pilots who help each other heal.

-How To Save A Kingdom by @wellsjahasghost ....M

 So this is actually a companion piece to the author’s other fic, How You Stay Alive. I haven’t gotten through that one completely yet but this companion piece is AMAZING. Bellamy and Clarke are soulmates and have to find each other in different lives. “Whether you fall in love again is up to you.” How To Save A Kingdom is just one of those lifetimes but it is absolutely beautiful.

-His Moon, His Light in the Darkness by @andsowemeetagain​...E

An ACOTAR AU. Holy shit I think about this fic all the time! I’ve never read ACOTAR but I don’t even want to because it will NEVER measure up to this fic. Bellarke is HOT HOT HOT in this. Faerie!Bellamy and human!Clarke. Bellamy is king of the night court (uhh Bellamy wearing dark colors and looking ominously hot? I think YES) and Clarke is the human that wandered into the Faerie realm. Originally has a lot of Flarke but honestly paints Finn in such a terrible manner that I’m not even mad. Again, features some super amazing angsty smut.

 -Don’t Look Back, You’re Not Going That Way.  by @andsowemeetagain...M

Viking!Bellamy, Soulmate Bellarke. This fic honestly ruined me because of the angst. Features slight C/exa in the middle if you don’t like that. This fic is so hard to describe because I don’t want to give anything away. Once again, as the authors brand continues on, features amazing angsty smut.

(if you haven’t noticed, this author is one of my favorite fantasy writers)

-With a Mouthful of Thorns by @grumpybell ...T

A fantasy AU featuring human Clarke, fae Bellamy, werewolf Bellamy, and such amazing worldbuilding. I’m not sure if Erin based this off of anything but she paints such an amazingly detailed picture. One of my absolute favorite fics. I’m also plugging a few more of her fics because she gives me my werewolf Bellamy fix.

-Facing Tempests of Dust. by @grumpybell...M

Werewolf/grounder Bellamy comes to the 100′s camp but only Clarke knows he can switch from human to wolf. I LOVE this and Erin also wrote a few follow-up fics, Creatures of My Dreams Part I and part II where Bellarke has a baby (a part human, part wolf baby, of course)

(Ok anyway, now that I’ve dedicated half of this to recommending Erin’s fics, you guys should def just go read all of her stuff!)

-The Clockmaker (Fixer of Hearts) by MercuryM....T

OH. MY. GOD. This fic!! Soulmates AU where everyone has a compass watch where their dial is the same as their soulmate’s. Clarke’s dial always points north. Bet you can’t guess why :)

-I’ll Always Wear the Crown that You Gave Me by safeandsound13...M

Hooooo boy. So this is divided into 3 works but is 135k words total, which I’m pretty sure makes it longer than the first Lord of the Rings book? But its so worth it! A Hunger Games AU where Clarke is reaped and Bellamy is her mentor.

-I Was in the Middle Before I Knew That I Had Begun by Kacka...G

A regency AU where Clarke and Bellamy are in an arranged marriage. Like usual, they don’t like each other in the beginning but over time learn to respect and love each other. Everyone who knows me knows that I was searching for this fic for HOURS because its so good. I read this so long ago but I had to have it on here!

Disclaimer: all of these authors are AMAZING and you should def check all of their fics out!

Thank you guys for 600 followers! I love each and every one of you!

#fic recs #follower celebration #bellarke #bellarke fanfiction

[ramjam]

okay... let's talk about how guila and jericho's scene in the new chapter parallels their scene in chapter 101!!

i've been waiting years for the chance this would happen and here it is!!!! under the cut.

okay, soo..

so as we recall... chapter 101 (above) focused on guila and jericho's relationship, but specifically it sandwiched between the set up for their false romance arcs (ban and gowther.)

307 calls back to it almost panel for panel and line for line (i have a feeling jericho questioning whether she looks good and guila coming in to call her lovely is a development in jericho's self-esteem since 101. which heavily had to do with guila.)

101 was them about to be split apart because of ban and gowther, but 307 comes back around and it's all about them now. and nothing else.

but the most significant thing is what follows from this. remember after 101, during the first festival? this second one obviously parallels to the first in a lot of ways with every character. but the way it does with guila and jericho is just... hm.

during the first festival, during guila's brainwash and after jericho left, she went with gowther. at the time, she was neglecting zeal upon gowther's request and influence, since he didn't want her interacting with anyone else.

but this time, guila goes with jericho and zeal. with the added emphasis of jericho supporting zeal and wanting to be his teacher. so much togetherness in contrast to gowther. i mean, there really is a lot to think about with jericho replacing gowther's slot, and jericho being tied at the hip to guila instead of ban. both have heavy romantic contextualization, which is kind of self-explanatory. but the gowther thing speaks the loudest, imo.

(+ romance angle: especially with jericho being the one to suspect something was wrong, how stand offish she was with gowther when asking about their relationship and if they broke up, since she didn't trust him and had bad vibes. it... kind of... reminds me of guila's wish in the fanbook wishing for "someone she genuinely loves." the intentional emphasis on "genuine" because of what gowther did to her. and with jericho taking his role... a lot of fun ways to read that.

2021 edit: i finally did the full analysis on jericho and gowther as they relate to guila. please read it

no matter how you read guila and jericho's relationship, this is such a sweet, cathartic conclusion to guila's dilemma and their relationship in general. guila, jericho, and zeal are such a unit... like this is for sure intended, regardless of context. it's so cute... it’s also a good follow up to jericho wishing her a peaceful life in the pairbook. in the end, they spend their epilogue together.

so yeah... just wanted to point this out because i just think it's a cool callback!! with each interaction since they reunited, they seem to only be getting closer-- and they've always been close/intimate to begin with. it's cute.

and... well, of course it's worth thinking about nakaba's answer to my q&a during chapter 259. when i asked, "what's guila's fave type of girl?" and he said, "type... well, someone easy-going like jericho is easy to get on with." (mangastream had mistranslated his response, but that’s what he said.) so... whatever that means. they're just... close, undeniably, regardless of how. 

#nanatsu no taizai #nnt #guilicho #nnt analysis #long post

[nidhoggssoultrap]

My "Headcanon" (Nidhogg, Louie, and Yvette. Mostly Nidhogg) Part 1

This one is a long one, so I'll be splitting it into parts. I don't think I have ever had a headcanon list this long. Jesus...anyway,

I ship him with Louie shamelessly and without apology. I know that they are adopted brothers, but well, it doesn't stop me, and I hope you don't read Game of Thrones or Angel Sanctuary because BLOOD incest is CANON in both. Anyway, I started out shipping them in a "bitter ex" sense, but it quickly became a situation where Nidhogg wanted more than being a "brother and a friend" and Louie did not and it's unlikely that he ever would. This leads to a lot of heartache for Nidhogg, but he loves Louie very much and while he has attempted erotic things with him, he backs off when Louie refuses. The fact that Nidhogg is unwilling to set aside his feelings for Louie has actually saved him.

The outcome? While they do eventually reconcile, Nidhogg accepts the fact that they will never be anything more than brothers/friends. Louie ends up with Yvette. Nidhogg? Well, I dunno. Shade, for some reason, is creeping up.

Plotbunny: Louie visits Nidhogg at a base and tricks him into thinking that he has finally "seen the light" and it willing to not only side with the Dark, but to become lovers like Nidhogg wanted. They do what is known as a "grudgefuck" with Louie in control (alternate: Nidhogg tries to kiss him but Louie rebuffs him). Either way, Louie grabs Nidhogg by the chin and says, "There'll be a chance for 'us' when you bring Lunar back to me." (Alternate: After they kiss/grudgesex, Louie stabs Nidhogg in the heart and gets shot in the heart by Nidhogg. They die in each others's arms. "As it should be..." (well, according to Nidhogg).

2. I DO NOT ship Nidhogg/Yvette. She deserves better. That being said, she was never interested in him in THAT way. She only liked "the idea of him." In reality, while she did admire him and legit like him, she had no romantic/erotic interest in him at all. Nidhogg also was not interested in her in that way as well, in my headcanon, "he prefers the company of men." He viewed her as someone who was not only an image, but someone to "vent his spleen on". He did, however, come to view her as a friend, sister and maybe even a daughter. It's why he ended up getting "cold feet" and chose not to keep her and send her home. She was supposed to be sent elsewhere as part of a "quest" in order for Nidhogg to gain even more power. If he fails, then he will be "doubly cursed" with both the Blood Curse and a "Fail Curse."

He figured that there is still time and when he is on the losing end of the war, he kidnaps her again which leads to a very long and intense car chase between him and Nikki's group(Louie driving). This is basically a Louie vs Nidhogg and due to Yvette's actions at the end(she bites Nidhogg and tries to fight him, not caring about the blood curse or dying as she DID not want to end up "in a box" for the rest of her life), the car chase ends and a knock down drag out fight between Louie and Nidhogg begins. It ends in the latter's defeat, and he ends up "doubly cursed", humiliated by Louie(needlessly), and banished out of Miraland through a "transport tree". At least for awhile.

3. Speaking of kidnapping, I honestly believed that he actually drove out of Lilith with her. I thought that he "kidnapped" her because someone was after them and he took her to protect her. Hehe...yea, right. Still, I kept the idea that he drove her out of Lilith to the North Kingdom. As for kidnapping, I cringed how it was handled in canon, so I decided that he would be the one to knock her out with a sleeper hold and that kidnapping was 100% his own choice. She "knew too much" and well, see above.

4. Interesting to see Yvette as a "White Knight" because before I saw that, I did decide that she would become something like that. Like Louie. Nice coincidence. :)

5. Nidhogg speaks in a tenor with a soft-spoken tone. He has a tendency to whisper the final parts of his statements and is capable of sounding very sharp. Some say that he does that as a form of control. Louie says that he has always done that and admits that it sounds good. Nidhogg was a wonderful voice. When he actually sings(and in my headcanon, he does lolol), it's a high tenor range. Louie also sings, but it's lower.

6. Nidhogg drinks vodka/vodka drinks and Jaegermeister. It's one of his few "poisons/weaknesses". He does not, however, smoke or do any other kinds of drugs, except caffeine and vaped nicotine/cbd. He vapes though, but not heavily and it's not common to see him with any kind of mod/e-cig.

7. He has a tarot deck which people think odd considering his attitude about destiny(that, ftr, I generally agree with), but he does not view the tarot as destiny, but only guidelines/advice/warnings. The forecast is like the weather to him. Either way, it's not etched in stone. He likes the art anyway. His tarot deck is military themed. He does NOT overindulge in them as to him, such a thing is weakness that needs to be fixed. He is like that with a lot of things.

8. Like Louie, he can drive/fly anything. Louie is a better pilot/biker, Nidhogg is a better driver. Nidhogg drives a sleek, black, powerful, manual shift sportscar. I want to say BMW, but it could just as easily be a Jaguar. It's the car he was driving when he kidnapped Yvette both times. FTR, Louie was chasing him in a white Porsche. Okay, my biases/kinks are showing, but whatever. :p

9. I hope that Nidhogg ends up like Shield Anvil Itkovian (I highly recommend Memories of Ice and the Malazan series entirely):

"We are all pushed into a world of madness, yet it must now fall to each of us to pull back from this Abyss, to drag ourselves free of the descending spiral. From horror, grief must be fashioned, and from grief, compassion." - Itkovian

Itkovian was a warrior who served a war god. He was a mercenary and he was also the Shield Anvil. He fought in war as one of the leaders, but he also took the pain and suffering from others, took it upon himself and gave it to his God. When his god disappeared, he chose to take the pain of thousands of souls into himself. Because he is THE SHIELD ANVIL. I'd get more in detail, but I don't want to spoil too much. Itkovian is a cinnamon roll. Nidhogg is more of a "problematic fave", but still...

Anyway, I say this because I am aware that Nidhogg willingly took on the Blood Curse and refused to dull it. He, like Itkovian, knew that war causes suffering. The Shield Anvil alleviates that suffering and I suspect that Nidhogg would not mind doing the same thing:

"I did it. I should be the one to undo it." In my headcanon, Nidhogg wants to try to bring Lunar back. Yes, he has ulterior motives(See: Louie and he readily admits this), but he wants to do it anyway as it is still the right thing to do.

10. Nidhogg loves the moon and prefers silver over gold. He LOVES Onyx. He had his ears pierced since he was a teenager and got it done at a tattoo parlor. He tends to wear boot jewelry too.

11. His "animal totem" is the wolf. His temperament is similar to Griffith's of Berserk. However, there might be disagreements about dreams, depending on what one means by dreams. In Nidhogg's mind, ambition and dreams are two different things. You want to compare bad deeds? If you've read both Berserk and Love Nikki, then I think you can take a few guesses. To put it simply, externally, both are cool, calm and collected. Internally, there is a great deal of intensity that only shows in certain circumstances. Otherwise, they are both very laser guided and "tight-vested" with their hearts.

12. He has issues with Locco due to her well basically saying "If I must choose between being weak and being dead, I'd rather be weak for the dead have no dreams." She has her own "Fountain Scene" with Yvette. Nidhogg did not like this but he chose to leave it alone. He found it amusing when he found out that she suggested that Yvette make a "March Hare" design. He found it even more amusing when Yvette won an award for it.

13. After Yvette returned home from her first kidnapping, she developed a Jesse Pinkman attitude towards Nidhogg. What I mean is "HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!" Breaking Bad fans will know what I'm talking about. So, I wasn't surprised when I later found out that Yvette did want him brought to justice for pretty much ALL of his actions, but especially against Lilith Kingdom.

14. Nidhogg has a foul mouth, especially when stressed. He is, however, no match for a sailor, but he can try. Heh. Obviously, as Prime Minister he is a lot more "clean."

15. His interests are actually similar to Yvette's but they have different tastes. Example: when it comes to say, the fantasy genre, Yvette prefers the more light-hearted fantasy in general. Nidhogg, otoh, prefers "darker fantasy" that is more rooted in reality.

16. He does not hate the clothing he designed for Lilith, he just does not generally wear them himself unless it's modified to his actual preferences.

17. I call his real name Heinrich, which is the Germanic version of Henry. FTR, I cannot stand the name Henry and prefer the NON-English version of the name. And really, I think Henrik is more suitable anyway. FTR, the name means "Ruler of the home." Nidhogg means "Curse-Striker." The name definitions are rather fitting for him.

18. He has a "Victory not Vengeance" philosophy(check out vnvnation.com) mentality. This means : "One should strive to achieve, not sit in bitter regret." He has lived by this all of life. One of the reasons why Louie is not dead.

19. Nidhogg is his "second name" that his parents had given him because he would suck on "Ygdrassil" licorice when he was a baby. He loves licorice and most often eats that brand. He also loves butterscotch, coffee(of all kinds), and peanut butter. He does not, however, have much of a sweet tooth beyond that.

20. Nidhogg was blamed for the death of his adoptive father. Not by Louie, but by other rumor mongering sorts. Reality: He had nothing to do with his adoptive father's death.

And yikes...I think that'll do. I do have more, but I can just make another post.

#love nikki #induq #nidhogg #love nikki nidhogg #headcanon #fanstuff #plotbunny #yvette #love nikki yvette #louie #love nikki louie #canon divergent

[janiedean]

Why do people think grrm is anti targ + targ incest? Do you think he is?

with the premise that I don’t care for the targaryens at large either way, I’m not invested in that side of the story at all and I haven’t read fire and blood yet:

I don’t think grrm is anti-targ. grrm obviously likes them or he wouldn’t be writing prequels on prequels about them nor would he have made dany a main character nor he would have had them as the house that sorta merges the political and magical plots. there’s characters grrm created he obv. doesn’t feel fond of, but it’s not daenerys;

also - GIVEN THAT IDC ABOUT HER EITHER WAY AND I’M NEUTRAL - I think personally that george writes dany in a sympathetic light where you have to understand that she’s not perfect, that her methods aren’t always good and that her good intentions don’t mean automatically good results nvm that she’s a deconstruction of the revolutionary-who-saves-all trope and not a reinforcement of it, but like... grrm likes dany. who’s the main targ for now unless you decide jon is one but that’s beside the point;

I also think grrm is definitely not the biggest incest fan as it should be because there’s a reason why you don’t have kids with your relatives naturally ie that it’s a genetical lost bet and the only other incest ship he has in those books is toxic as hell and doesn’t shy from showing it, but like....... guys:

I mean. but like while no one judges anyone for shipping fictional incest I don’t really think we have to go much further when it comes to INCEST IS BAD IRL and there’s a reason why it doesn’t fly (ie that incest automatically implies that there’s a power imbalance or abusive situation going on)

that said if grrm had the targs narratively marrying each other it was to a) get to the point where they collapse, b) rehashing some historical facts that he obv. based himself on while writing asoiaf, c) pointing out that absolute monarchies lasting centuries where people marry each other in between relatives are a bad idea, which....

is actually a main plot point because like... guys, the throne is a negative symbol. the point of these books is that political power at all costs corrupts people, power corrupts people, kingship isn’t good and you can’t be halfway decent at it if you actually crave it or if you don’t care for the people you should be ruling, and as much as grrm himself likes dany as a character/presents her as sympathetic there is no way he’s doing targ restoration through her because then we’d be back at the beginning just with maybe a more enlightened monarch and I don’t think that’s where he’s headed;

now imvho the overall political ending is headed towards splitting and having westeros move into full-reinassance era leaving the absolute monarchy behind (also grrm is a pacifist and a liberal in american terms I really doubt he’s much of a monarchy stan) and the fact that technically the person with the better claim if recognized is actually jon ie a character who had no idea he was royally descended, lived his entire life as a bastard and went into the nw which guys is basically a glorified prison for criminals and the last hope for last sons who can’t make a living otherwise, is imho very telling because if he gets kingship it’s... someone who has tasted the other side of the barricade and almost died in between commoners and *wildlings* more than once, which is exactly the contrary of the monarchs that came until now and who wouldn’t be a *conqueror*;

re dany I honestly think she’s going to go back to essos and give it up on account of the fact that a) she’s obv. unhappy ruling in mereen and westeros would be that just worse, b) she’s doing it because it’s what viserys raised her up believing was their destiny but imvho if you look at it she just wants to go back home to the house with the red door and is more in it because she wants to help people than because OMG I REALLY NEED TO SIT ON THE IRON TRAP;

also, sitting on the iron trap or wanting to out of lust for power is automatically a recipe for a) not ending there eventually, b) not being narratively on the good side, c) bad news happening to you, which is why imvho wanting your fave to be on the iron trap as their achievement is not really a good premise to approach the text, which is why I think that if the iron trap survives (debatable) or is substituted (more probable) by something less daunting, whoever ends up on there won’t want the job.

so: I personally think grrm likes the targs a lot as his literary creation but he made them flawed for very specific narrative reasons, I think he likes dany a lot as a character and he won’t be horrid to her but I also don’t think he’s planning for a full-on targaryen restoration and I also think he doesn’t want to send the message that absolute monarchy is the solution to all the problems as long as the monarchs are enlightened. but I also don’t buy the ‘dany as a revolutionary who’ll save everyone’ narrative bc I think she’s there to challenge the concept that you can save everyone with revolutions and good ideas - bc irl it’s a recipe for disaster. when you overthrow a society and make it go from 1 to 10 without passing through steps 2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 it never ends up well or the way people dreamed it would and I think he’s very well-aware of that and I think he’s moving towards the ending where the system is changed from within and there’s the cripples, bastards and broken things in power (ie: the only thing that felt right-ish about the show’s ending) who will then move it to a more modern system, but that’s my three cents. but that doesn’t make him anti-targ. he hasn’t written one character that’s faultless, doesn’t mean he hates all his characters.

that said, he sure af doesn’t support incest as a practice and tbh I don’t think there should even be debate about that because there’s nothing in these books that tells you ‘hey incest is a good thing sometimes maybe we can make exceptions’ and it’s valid for the targs and for everyone else.

if this meant ‘do you think he’s anti jon/erys’ my answer is that idc for that ship and idk how grrm means to spin it if it becomes canon and I wouldn’t put my money on its endgame value if it did so I can’t help you there with any sensed reply because I don’t have any meta-ish thought on that and it’s not really an aspect of the story I care about so much I actually want to theorize about it rather than wait and see what he writes himself.

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #idek how to tag this #only slightly less toxic than chernobyl's ruins #house targaryen for ts #ch: daenerys targaryen #guys don't murder me pls I have no stakes in this #incest cw #Anonymous #ask post

[morphogenetic]

why you should play the ds version of 999 first and not the nonary games version: a thread

excuse the formatting of this bc im copying it from my twitter as text, but: why you shouldn’t play the nona/ry games version of 999 on your first run, a thread. lots of this has been said by other people too but i figured i would condense my opinions + what other people have said. 999 spoilers ofc, also vague vlr spoilers later on but the 999 spoilers are a lot worse lmao.

this is ABSURDLY long and i am sorry but tl;dr spoiler free version: buy tng anyway so you can easily play vlr in hd and to support the games, but play 999 on either a ds or an emulator if you have to because boy howdy the story is really meant for this platform (if you’re replaying 999 in the tng version after originally playing the ds version none of this applies LMAO)

(also this isn't meant to at ALL be angry at people who played the t/ng port first! im sad y'all didn't get to experience the dual screen version, but at this point t/ng is much more accessible and a lot of people don't even KNOW about the ds-original thing, so it's not your fault!!  like i WISH to god that they had ported it in some dual-screen/two-screen way, but the fact that they didn't isn't anyone's fault. ok end this part y'all are so valid i just feel sad that you didnt experience the game in its Best State)

spoilers below the cut

1) the big one: the implementation of the dual screen thing. they were always going to have a hard time implementing this on not-a-3ds, but i'll start with the non-spoilery part: action mode...is bad. the fact that they force you into it. is bad. novel mode is more passable but the fact that they default you into a mode with nearly 95% dialogue-only, in a visual novel, is..pretty gross, and the fact that they force-switch you into novel mode sometimes anyway is. maybe an indication that having a 95% dialogue route in a visual novel...wasnt good

  they EASILY could have done a split-screen mode instead, and while that wouldn't have been ideal either, it would still have allowed for the incorporation of both screens simultaneously without having to make compromises

also, petty spoiler thing, but some of the dialogue rewrites to make action mode flow better took out one of my fave pieces of foreshadowing. the main example of this is in junpei's flashback thing to getting kidnapped near the beginning of the game. in t/ng, they had him voice the 'huh, did i leave that open?' line, with respect to his window being open because, you know, zero 'bout to kidnap him. in the original, this is /not/ on the top screen (i.e. voiced by junpei) - it's on the bottom screen. without quotes, i.e. it's not something he's thinking but it's there, in the same formatting as the rest of the descriptions. in other words.....zero is the one saying 'huh, did i leave that open?' in real time, foreshadowing the dual screen twist. this is SO minor in comparison to everything else for SURE but the fact that this got left out still makes me so sad bc i LOVED it. anyway.

 (also the fact that the narrative mode twist of all the random gore descriptions being food-like makes WAY more sense in retrospect with the dual screens, because of course a fucking 12 year old wouldn't know how else to describe gore lmao. this is kind of lost in t/ng because it makes it out to be more of something that jun/pei is thinking but i digress. dual screen for dual protagonists good thanks)

2) (YES IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GET HERE. SH) the final puzzle.....in t/ng....fucking sucks. not only because the puzzle itself sucks, which uh...it does (PASSWORD IS THE PASSWORD?? FUCKING REALLY??). but a) it loses the theme-ing of the sudoku itself since, yknow. 9s everywhere but, 

b) more importantly, it just...doesn't have the same punch to it. even ignoring the fact that the sudden upside-down-ness is one of the best ways i've ever seen a puzzle suddenly hit you with a plot twist/a revelation, in this case the 'oh shit, we were solving puzzles from akane's viewpoint the whole time and /only now/ are we truly doing it with junpei being the input source' is just. fucking masterful. explaining this is so hard but i promise it makes sense. like obviously the twist w the dual perspectives thing is revealed right before but the fact that they suddenly (literally) flip the entire game on its head is just. *chef kiss* so good. 

also, adding to this, c) the fact that the tn/g version took out the fact that you were seeing baby!kane's face while you were doing the sudoku just adds to the emotional impact of the puzzle. like, in that moment, the puzzle itself isn't the relevant factor, it's the fact that you're doing the puzzle to save her. i no joke started fucking CRYING irl when that happened bc of how hard that hit me emotionally and the fact that they didn't even have something to mimic that in t/ng makes me so goddamn sad. it's not about the puzzle, its about Saving someone via the puzzle, and they just...removed that part. h

(also another dual screen thing here bc i forgot to add it earlier: the constant perspective-swapping thing during the true end feels much less awkward on the ds since you can just naturally shift your eyes between the screens. again, minor, and there probably was never going to be a great way to implement this with a single screen regardless, but it really does flow so much better with two screens. 3ds port of tn/g when)

3) finally, a more Controversial Opinion, but the timeline flow, while absolutely great for replays, kind of ends up spoiling you on the fact that there are multiple timelines that you have to search through for the truth. i wouldn't have minded this so much if the timeline feature in t/ng only unlocked after you hit your first ending, but they didn't do that - they let you look at it from the very start, which really..misses the point of the game. 

(minor vl/r spoilers incoming) in vlr, the fact that you know you have multiple branches from the start makes sense, especially both because it's SUPER obvious that there are branching points (door choices, allying/betraying, etc). obviously 99/9 has choices like that too ala the door choices, but you're actively -not- jumping between timelines. that's the point! because junpei CAN'T jump!! he's an esper, sure, though maybe only one by accident/strong emotional connection [thats a whole different thread LMAO], but the whole point is that he can't make timeline choices  in the same way that phi and sigma can literally timeline shift.

(end v/lr spoilers here i think) tl;dr the timeline feature is great for replays bc its super anti-frustration but boy howdy they did not implement it well. final point:  the fact that you have to play 999 from the beginning every time you get an end makes sense narratively since akane has to do the same thing - she has to go through the whole route (in junpei's head ofc) over and over, she can't just skip around. again, anti-frustration feature that i'm glad they added, but you still lose something w t/ng this way

like ngl, having to fast forward through things instead of just skipping around is annoying as hell, but akane had to do the same goddamn thing! probably way more than we actually have to do it in the game, tbh. definitely this is me prioritizing certain limitations of the ds hardware as important to the narrative but you really do end up missing out if you can just skip at will

4) very minor thing that isnt actually a plot thing at all but  some of the puzzle dialogue is infinitely funnier when you have the ability to see the characters on the top screen talking at the same time you have the puzzle stuff on the bottom screen. this mostly applies to all the stuff with the cards w all the player faces on them in the...cargo room? like it's still funny without it but somehow seeing santa talking about himself on the card when he says 'that's one handsome son-of-a-bitch!' is 500x funnier when you literally see him TALKING about himself

JESUS FUCK THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY IF YOURE ON MOBILE

#zero escape #am i tagging this? yeah. it needs to be said lmao #999 #9 hours 9 persons 9 doors #nine hours nine persons nine doors #ok to rb #long post #(i mean i put it under a cut but. jic)

[whstletomyheart]

Why YG TREASURE BOX is a complete mess and YG is playing with us. (A rant?)

First, its important to understand what or YGTB is and how it was promoted for this we should understand the events that happened before.

NOTE: YG will be referred to as a they since there are other people besides YHS Making the Decisions.

All of YG’s boy groups were made through survival shows.

BIGBANG=BIGBANG DOC

WINNER=WIN

IKON=WIN/M&M

So it was pretty obvious that they would reuse this concept for their new bg.

Now its safe to assume that the group was set to be made around Bang Yedam, he’s popular in Korea plus that he was the moat famous trainee .

Now this is the general assumption that the original silver boys lineup ot11 were the lineup set up to debut. This is the reason why they were promoted through Mixnine (GonSukKyu) and Stray Kidz (YG vs JYP). But we all know Mixnine failed and that some trainees left making YG To rethink their concept and lineup.

Now we must remember that prior to the show starting YG teased that Yedam, Hyunsuk and Raesung were basically confirmed members.

Raesung, due to personal reasons decided to not participate in the show (the best decisions honestly).

Currently YG as a company is at a point were every fandom in it has problems with the company. This is all due to the amount of mismanagement towards the majority if not all the groups and artists. YG despite being the house of great and unique artists doesn’t know how to mange them which leads to long hiatus, less music and cbs,etc.

Now lets analyze the problems with the shows format. Moat idol survival shows have the same format. Which is simply individual competition. This means that the contestants will be evaluated and the voting will be individual or 1 pick (produce 101).

YGTB showed the beginning to be more a team survival show in other words a group compete with other groups (Win). But around the second and third episode its revealed that the show will be individual, shifting the format. This is first seen strange since a consistent theme in YGs previous groups is their teamwork but this is because since predebut the trainees are grouped into groups.

In the show we are never truly explained about how the show works and if it is its vague and very contrictdactory. Plus a lot of unfair and frankly weird things are shown ( compared to other survival shows)

Examples of this are:

• Number of final lineup is always changing: from 7 to 9 to 7 to 6 to 5 to 7 it would change depending the mood od the ceo.

• YHS changes rules at whim: YHS changes or adds rules

• Missions: the missions to compete against the treasure team were barely explained. Winpink came to the show mostly just for name Dropping cause they didn’t show why they chose who they chose. The ep were winner 2seung was going to examine their performances was cut to almost nothing more than click Bait.

• The rounds or missions made little sense , at the beginning it 1:1 , then 2:2 (duo), then team genre(?)/concept (in my opinion they weren’t that different in my opinion to be a concept eval but oh well)and putting a position battle at the end ……makes little sense

In Produce and other shows its usually a cover, position, concept and then original song evaluation. Showing the growth.

• Lack of original ygtb songs most survival shows make their own songs fir the concept and final evaluations (example Mixnine). YG is company that prides on self production but not once was this used despite various trainee being able to ( Yedam, Hyunsuk, Byounggon, Asahi, Yoshinori, etc.) . Even if the boys couldn’t yg producers could’ve made songs just like in Mixnine.

• Lack of fan events besides liking a trainees video and channel there weren’t chances for the fans to feel really close to them. With the individual channels they could’ve done random lives but no. Or fanmeetings.

Despite this the show did release a series of interesting content that honestly saved the show.

• Not letting all the trainees participate in the treasure swap and cutting and not airing the performances certain trainees made. Leaving the fans to have to watch fancams.

Now to explain the real mess, throughout the whole show fans were confused on how they could help their faves in terms of voting. YG opens voting till the last 2 episodes and makes it a group voting meaning you have to vote for a group of trainees. According to fans this means that the lineup with most votes will have an advantage to debut. On the last ep its revealed that Isn’t case at all. The trainees only got extra points depending on how many ranks or lineups they were in. In other words again it was individual voting. They didn’t explain this till ep 10 when the voting’s was done. Along with this they added the final nail to the coffin. These online votes were only worth 20% of the final score. With onsite votes at a 30%. But YHS gets 50% of the score, so basically YHS gets to choose at the end od the day so fan votes mean close to nothing. If a trainee did well on votes but isn’t YGs fave they wont pass and vice versa.

On top of all of this YG makes sure fans aren’t in the recording of the ranking to obviously avoid discord and only announces half the lineup for what we can only assume is for drama. Only YG and some staff know the lineup. Instead of releasing it all its adding more anxiety and desperation . Which can be seen in the fighting, the rumors and spamming.

Now that we’ve established that YGTB is a mess of a show that makes Mixnine look good, lets talk about favoritism and screentime. And why I don’t understand YGs intentions and the lineup.

Ok let get this out of the way YG/YHS always plays favorites, this isn’t new at all. We can see in the show that there are trainees YHS likes way more compared to others. In other words he tends to be very biased. On top that he likes to brag. The first ep is basically look at all the visuals I got.

All it takes is to watch the show to know who Yg/YHS like more baaed on screentime and arcs made. Lets Look at the confirmed members most got solid screentime. Yedam is pushed from the get go to being a super star trainee that is basically god where other trainees don’t want to be against him. Junkyu is cute and talented a good future asset, we see how he gets screentime from the start with his confidence arc. Plus its important to note that in Mixnine YHS’s fave was Junkyu . Haruto from the start was the Japanese trainee YG was interested in and he Gets the most screentime from the Japanese trainees. Jeongwoo was promoted through his vocal and how yg likes him, he gets attention. Junghwan On the other hand gets way less screentime then the other member but still way more than other less known trainees.

That being said a lot of the team b, team c and team j trainees get very little to no screentime. Jongseob who won Kpop Star didn’t get much screentime and performance was cut. Mashiho’s screentime is mostly reactions or being a friend.

Silver boys got the most screentime overall they focused a lot on their teamwork and bond giving fans the hope that they would debut. Which is were im frankly confused and would love to understand the why.

Why make silver boys participate in this show and emphasize so much on them for basically nothing?

Why bring Jihoon back?

Why bring Seunghun back?

After hours and hours of thinking and reading opinions. I came to a few theories:

A) YG wants to debut a fresh, young and visual new bg. For whatever reason, so choosing the younger trainees makes sense. Probably modeled around Yedam for a more pop sound in comparison to WinKon Some accounts state that a lot of kfans were pushing yg for a younger and visual group. Basically discarding the older trainees. Also this lineup has YGs faves who were the younger ones. If this is true YG will debut Yoonbin and Masiho or Yoonbin and Jaehyuk (his screentime in the last episodes makes me think so). Basically in this theory YG had an idea from the get go and they only used the silver boys for clout. This is the theory that makes me the saddest tbh. But still it doesn’t explain why yg would care so much about silver boys. Like bringing them back and emphasizing so mucho on how they’re a team. Plus it discards the power Hyunsuk has with one of the most stable fandoms.

B) The theory before the lineup was dropped was that yg Is testing the silver boys for the last time which made sense till the last episode. But SB stans have been very loud and spammed his Instagram, trended a hashtag and are contacting companies. This means they have a strong fandom so this might help.

C) YG will add more members to the lineup I think 9 is more realistic than 11. Based on screentime maybe Hyunsuk + Seunghun.

D) YG will debut all of ot13, doubt this since YG hasn’t have that big of a group and I don’t think YG can handle it. If it was SM yeah but not this. (I like this one tho )

E) YG will debut ot13 but in 2 teams a pop team and hip-hop team. Pop=treasure7 Hip-hop=silver boys +a member (I love this)

F) YG will debut SB but under the black label.

G) YG wont do anything except debuting the og treasure7 . And the sbs will leave the company and split up.

These are all the theories I have.

Tldr: YGTB has a lot of flaws as a survival show being extremely unfair and the situation with the lineup is the most chaotic thing ever. Whatever yg does will make people mad.

The worst part is that it worked as always YG doing the minimal manages to pull us in just to disappoint us. Just that he managed to drag more people this time.

At this point I’m done with the guessing and the rumors, I just really want to know what’s going on and the security that my faves are ok even if they’re in or not in the group. Cause not debuting in the group isn’t the end they can debut with another group or go solo. My point is that it isnt the end for their careers.

#ygtb #yg trainee #yg treasurebox #yedam #kim seunghun #yg seunghun #silver boys #ygnbg #choi hyunsuk #yg jihoon #yg doyoung #yg haruto #yg jeongwoo #yoonbin #ygtb yoonbin #i hate this #i hate y #personal rant #sorry for the rant #yg rant #kim junkyu #mashiho #team a #team a + jihoon #winner yg #blackpink #junhyuk #so junghwan

[naruhearts]

14x11 Thoughts, Destiel, & 10x09

(copy-paste from Twitter) 

- - - -

So I finally got around to watching this week’s ep — the whole thing — and it was...okay. I don’t think it packed super good characteristic/emotional punches like we’ve seen in recent weeks but it definitely spoke to Dean’s long-running low depressive self-worth (and ever-increasing queer Dean subtext via Michael’s closet!box and 14x10 closet!mind).

What stood out to me was the absence of Cas: no mention of him or Jack. And I don’t know if I should take that as solid or sloppy negative space placement by Perez or what, but there were callbacks/reduxes to Dean’s MoC arc — specifically 10x09.

Interestingly, it seemed like the infamous D/C burger date was reflected by Dean and Donna the Dean mirror’s burger meetup, with both scenarios unfolding in the same narrative context of Dean’s self-sacrificial worthlessness-induced Bad Decisions™ that altogether served as some kind of contrast for platonic vs familial vs romantic interpersonal dynamics.

In 10x09 Sam was also deceived by his brother — observe the visual Dark vs Light difference of both settings — in that Dean obviously wasn’t fine but he still cooked for him (he cooks with Mary in 14x11 as well)/successfully tricked Sam into thinking all is well. Afterwards, Dean went on his heavily Dabb romance-coded burger date with Cas.

In sombre-coloured 14x11 Sam knew Dean was visibly off, whereas Cas is...nowhere to be heard, seen, found. Dean doesn’t mention him at all either, and again I don’t know if that was just some weird lapse in writing consistency, but Perez probably intended to convey the primary negative space: that Dean can be stopped by his lover-coded best friend Cas who, indeed, won’t talk Dean out of his plan like Sam can, but would drill through the box and metaphorically/literally yank Dean out — grip him tight and raise him again from proverbial Perdition (Dean’s metaphorical/literal burial directly ties back to Lazarus Rising, and well, this is what cyclic S14’s thematically highlighted generally all season so far: the old beginning and new beginning of Dean’s first rebirth) aka Dean knew that Cas, like in 10x09, would call him out on his bluff asap. Dean knew that Cas saying “No, you’re not [fine]” could break his free resolve to go through with his self-punishing World Saving scheme.

x

Dean knows that Cas finding out would stop him in his tracks, because he can’t bear to feel like he’s failing him, but that’s the rub of the episode’s characteristic premise isn’t it? Dean’s Hiding-to-Protect-My-Family is paradoxically counterproductive - he’s failing them, and he’s always internalized that saying goodbye before marching off to his own death isn’t a commonality but a rarity. He almost got away with not telling Sam, and we’ll see how Cas finds out next ep (Sam’s “secret sick farewell tour” comment was accurate). I mean, these are the only logical points I can think of in terms of almost unequivocally Cas-less dialogue (seriously, where’d he go?) UNLESS, like I said above, Dean’s deliberately and consciously holding back (voila, repressing feelings and words) from bringing Cas to his own awareness so that he has an uninterrupted burial go-ahead.

***Recall that in S10 Cas was unable to follow through with Dean’s intimately-confided wish for Cas to kill him as soon as he fell MoC darkside, anyway. In fact, Dean excluding Cas entirely from his conscious functioning may be his Operation: Burial failsafe to protect his family — to protect Cas — from what could become the 10x22-reminiscent line of Michael’s fire. Yet Cas shall remain by his side. Forever, if need be, precisely because “everyone you know, everyone you love? They could be long dead. Everyone except me.” I’ll-Go-With-You Cas is the one Dean absolutely trusts.

x

And when Perez relays the Who Am I-linked thematic question of How Are You? Dean says:

x

(Sigh. This is why you must ‘die’, Dean. Break the remaining shackles of miscommunication and performativity that hinder you from TALKING ABOUT IT, from OPENING UP ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU’VE ALWAYS AVOIDED TALKING ABOUT ESPECIALLY ON THE LOVE AND...LOVE FRONT.)

What I really enjoyed were the overt naked cowboy beefcake posters in Donna’s shed that evoked Dean’s subtextual preference for dark-haired thick-bodied male cowboys a la 13x06 Cas etc. Those men?! Yep, they’re exactly your type too, Dean. Just last episode we observed the biggest Repressed Gay Hits of Dean’s subconscious/Michael’s dream construct, poised to nudge at the walls of text. Here, Dean got, uh, pretty distracted for a few seconds until he remembered that he had to “die” (literally locking himself up in his closet!box with naked Cas-representative men surrounding him and oh boy more 4x01 sparks flew during the closet!box building process: meta in meta) but I digress—

x

Overall 14x11 isn’t one of my faves. Dean basically revealed, more or less, what was in Billie’s Single Win endgame book, and it seemingly overhauled the very notion of Free Will and blank slates that Dean (and TFW) always embodied x. It felt disjointed in certain respects, and I hated that Donna and Mary were DiDs (come on, TPTB, get past the damselized misogyny, in all its veiled and obvious forms). Personally heart-wrenching to me though was Dean’s one-on-one time with Mary (he belittled his cooking abilities by claiming he’s a “terrible cook” *hello low self-worth*) — including his grief-tinged bologna & cheese Winchester Surprise story that almost segued into angry John memories — despite it falling short by missing the mark for true expositional discussion between them re: Dean’s actual feelings (no substantial emotive breakthrough. But yeah, I guess it should make sense that Dean’s regressed to toxic depressive behaviours and maladaptive secrecy before he metaphorically “dies” and is resurrected again).

Rating: 5/10. 6/10 if I’m being generous.

p.s. Donna was trying to ask Dean how he is, but Dean deflected during their burger outing (“Everybody keeps asking me how I am”) —> contrast to Cas seeing through Dean’s walls during burger date. And it’s intriguing that Doug comes up in conversation; her split with Doug — who couldn’t integrate into or commit with Donna’s hunting life — still affects her. It’s as if Dean’s ‘splitting up’ with Cas, which, he technically is (temporarily).

I’m sure I might have more thoughts on 14x11 later on, but this is the gist of my summary for now. Feel free to throw your thoughts around, peeps!!

And by the way, 14x12 promo has Cas saying “Stop with your suicidal plans” to whom I’m assuming is Dean. I just hope next week explains what happened to 14x11’s narrative cohesiveness at least :P

Now I’d like to call on @coinofstone‘s symbolic analysis of the books Dean chose for coffin-building :D 

#supernatural #my stuff #my meta #spn s14 speculation #character development #narrative #destiel #parallels #10x09 #spn s14 #14x11 #Dean Depressed Winchester must die so that Dean Self-Actualized Winchester can live #free will #dean winchester #dean is in love with cas #destiel burger date #donna #sam winchester #winchester brothers #pining!dean #depressed!dean #Cas + Dean's kinks #bisexual dean #bisexual dean winchester #wank for ts #adjacent #deancas #silent storytelling #negative space #closet!box

[survivorsunsetrodeo]

Ep 8 Pt 1 | I Am The Loop! - Taylor

THE WAY I PLAYED MYSELF OMFGGGGG

If I had just fricken voted for Chloe lmfao!!!!! God I am the worst Survivor player ever.  The good news is that I think everyone kept me on the revote????

Frankly, I may have fucked up my game, but at least it was the round before merge maybe??? I don't know if jury will start after this next tribal, but my goal was merge and I am PRAYING to all that is holy that I made it.

Holy fuck!!! Megs going and two idol plays!!!! We love the drama!!!!! I manifested Megs going before merge and here it is! 

Just so y'all know what went down....

I voted for Jacob, BUT I told Jacob I voted for Ali and I also told Ali I voted for Ali.... lmao BECAUSE ALI SAID HE VOTED FOR ME!!!

This is honestly the most crackheaded thing I've ever done. Ari knows that I voted for Jacob.... which could be bad? but I trust them not to expose me just yet. 

Y’all making merge is such a fricken relief honestly. But also I’m scared af. I think there are a lot of eyes on me. I’ve survived so many tribal councils. People have to know I’m connected. I am not gonna down play it necessarily but I’m gonna try to blend in.

It seems like there are quite a few people mad at each other frim the other tribe. I can see Nic and Brandi being targets quickly bc of their tribes last tribal council. I need to minimize my target as much as I can now. I need to like meditate on it and see what I think is best.

First impressions of the two people I haven’t met yet are:

Jabari - very outspoken, had great energy. I think jabari is likely fiercely loyal but not afraid to play dirty when she has to. I wanna pick her brain a little bit about her swap tribe dynamics. TSL - I really like her! She has a good spirit and seems like a really strong social player. She is someone to watch out for but could be a good person to have on my side.

My plan moving forward is to stay swap tribe strong for as long as I can, but also, if Ali needs to go home.... he needs to go hone 

WE DID IT I MADE MERGE I CAN FINALLY BREATHE AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

oh my god oh my god okay. so tonight HAPPENED and i sure did predict it right from the start! i sure did tell ali not to do it and he sure did it anyway! but it's fine this is actually kind of excellent because it means me and jacob look entirely innocent, dan now trusts me even more fully and feels guilty for not telling me what he was doing, i have less of an obvious connection to ali, and we can go into merge with the idea of drama / discontent in order to more effectively mine intel.

so anyways. all that aside, let's talk about MERGE itself! here's where i am at, should i choose to believe everything i've been told: -jacob and i are bffs final 2 until we die -ali and i are also obviously gucci always -dan allegedly trusts me more than anyone and constantly thanks me for being so amazing -josh and i are a secret pair beware where we'll have each other's backs even if we end up on different sides of the numbers -taylor is absolutely thrilled to have me back and acts like she's just regrown a missing arm about it -brandi wants to get to know me and is working with tsl so might actually mean it -nic and emma are ???? dont really care tbqh sorry -jabari is also very ?????? that's [checks notes] six out of nine people who at least have expressed interest in wanting to work with me, if not outright proclaiming their undying love & affection. do i believe all of it? hell no - but it's a pretty good starting point!

i think this season twist is actually going to work really well for me because usually when i make it to merge, the sequence of events is: a) ari wants to work with everyone, b) ari tries to work with everyone and play the middle hardcore, c) ari eventually gets caught playing the middle and sent home for being a threat. BUT this time there's so much more room to maneuver about the votes because i can literally tell anyone i voted however they wanted me to and there's no proof against it. so i guess my primary objective = get everyone to love me and be my bff jenna-style, then tell them what they want to hear, then pull all my puppet strings to get all of them out. listen, it's the first night of merge and i am allowing myself to dream big. while we're at it then, let's have my ideal bootlist!!!!

10th place: jabari. nothing personal, i just think she's the hardest person to connect with socially and strategically from my past experiences. maybe she'll prove me wrong, but from what others have told me about how she's been on the new beeho, it doesn't seem like it. also this round jacob wins immunity. 9th place: emma. i said it day one and i'll say it again... galapagos has spoken and they've gotta go. i win immunity this round and tsl buys a gun and tells nobody but me about it. 8th place: nic. this is mainly because i think dan has some kind of attachment to him that'll be hard to shake for a bit but by this point nic will have gotten himself into enough hot water and dicey scenarios that dan won't find him worth the trouble and will be happy to let him go. jacob wins immunity again, probably in a really cool big-brain live challenge. 7th place: this is where we get down to people i actually want to work with so it'll be interesting to navigate but i think josh has to go here. he hasn't been doing enough socially and i was never gonna take him to the end anyway. sorry host bestie! we'll mix it up this round and let dan win immunity just to feel good about himself bc he's probably had a rough few days and needs a break. 6th place: ali. ily bb but you gotta go sis, you're gonna drag me down with you if i let you get too far! i'll act like this is a big shocker to me but jacob will have found out about it. also i think an idol will get used this round for sure and maybe even another secret advantage. 5th place: this is the last time i can use my gun and by chance it happens to also be an idol so i am going to use it to shoot tsl outta this game. we'll let jacob win immunity again. 4th place: brandi. honestly you stuck it out way longer than i expected and it's been an honor getting to know you but you're far too likeable to get close to ftc! there will be some unnecessary drama but it won't actually matter that much. oh and jacob won immunity for the fourth time but he gave it up to me. 3rd place: i can't believe i let dan get this close to the end! sneaky sneaky! if it's a final three that's fine because i can attribute his early survival and merge moves to myself, but if it's final 2 then he's gotta go and tell the jury how great i am (i cried during the live tribal it was very emotional). i think we all forfeit immunity here as it's the only fair thing. 1st and 2nd place: ari and jacob will split the prize in a first-time-ever deadlock tie and will both share the rodeo crown. i win the fan favorite though obvs. tsl is player of the season and ali is the best villain and brandi is the hero that everyone loves. all the hosts pick jabari as their fave.

I made merge!! Yay! Me and Ari bout to secret pair beware this game #TeamLasagna

me josh and nic are the cutest alliance i feel so bad for megs but oh well she gonna win retirement home second chances she highkey ate thats why she had to go i feel like rn my chances are low rn of winning but im here to cause chaos have some fun and have me or my allies win special shout out to josh without them i would wanna quit but that would suck and shout out to nic too i am kinda scared for merge but im really excited i dont think these people would take the easy route if not thats not trying to win but who knows tbhh i kinda want old pearl back together lowkey but im not sure im trying to think of my target list rn so rn im just gonna try to be more social then i was a few rounds ago make sure that i can get my footing back like i did pre swap!

mmmmmm MMMMMMMMMMMMM this is starting to look very fun and festive over here! the more intel we gather the more it's becoming clear that this first vote is gonna be a taylor/brandi versus nic/emma/josh/jabari bonanza with the four of us sitting pretty getting to decide who we want to work with. i'm personally more inclined toward the taylor/brandi of it all, what a coincidence that the four people i was least enthused about are also all working together... gonna call with dan and compare notes more later but i am feeling very optimistic

also people i want to work with to people i want out v soon OG: Pearl Josh> Nic> Dan> Brandi this is tough i really love og pearl probs the fav og tribe i ever been on like ever...

og beeho Ari > Taylor (she a threat i think taylor is lovely and like them alot )but i dont wanna go super far with them ) > Jacob > Ali >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Jabari.. Jabari is nice but idk if i can work or trust with them tbh i like everyone left haha also im aware or think that ari is the biggest threat but would i maybe die on my sword for them.. if i work with them yeah.. im not that person that i was a few years ago 

Why is everything I know a lie? Apparently Megs never wanted me in her alliance of her, Brandi, Jabari, and Taylor to begin with and only added me because Jabari requested it? Which I guess is why they thought her and I were a duo? I'm having trouble understanding what Meg's vendetta was against me. I literally have spent the entire game trying to socialize with her and Brandi and I thought it was going well?????????????????????????????????? What did I do to her?????????????? Genuinely????????????????????

Anyway. Jabari is so kind. I really feel like I can trust her now. I feel like this merge vote will come down to Me/Emma/Jabari/Josh vs. Ali/Taylor/Brandi with Dan, Jacob, and Ari somewhere in the middle. I have the most confidence of Dan working with us but even with his vote it'd be 5-5, not to mention Brandi has a double vote. But atleast our side has an idol.

It seems like I am once again on the bottom for no reason. Even in her absence Megs is fucking me over. 

My headspace is so fucking bad rn about this game. I just feel like even tho I’m probably in a decent position that this competition will be won by more dominant people than me. This challenge definitely doesn’t play to my strengths and idk wtf to do.

I talked to Ari about it and they really want me to try hard but I just like really don’t care... if I’m the next to go, I’m the next to go. I must be such a horrible ally bc I am seriously checked out rn.

Dear Jsh, if you have any brain cells now is the time to use them. I need to speak to Brandi and Dan and solidify something with them. I also have to reach out to Ari to see if working with them is an option moving forward. I got the vibe last round that Taylor was only using me to survive the Megs and I mean....fair I was doing the same to her but I’m hoping she doesn’t find out that I’ve been lying to her by saying I voted Nic. I really hope Ari doesn’t snitch. I don’t think Ari is a rat but...you never know!

The way I see it me, Emma and Nic have two options. Work with Ari, Ali and Jacob or work with Brandi and Dan. Working with New Pearl seems like a no brainer since we hold majority easily but the question is if they ARE willing to work with us. The problem with solidifying an OG Pearl alliance is Brandi doesn’t trust Nic and I don’t trust Dan. What Nic wants to do is bring in Jabari and kick out Dan and have a 5 person alliance with AARP (me Nic and Emma) + Dan and Jabari which I am defenitely not on board moving forward. I can work with them for one round but I honestly would rather work with Ari and Jacob both who I actually talk to regularly. I just really need to make this alliance to happen because I like to work with people I actually get along with.

As far as the vote is concerned...Ideally I would like to vote out Taylor or Ali this round because I can’t figure out where they stand but Ali is an unlikely person to be voted out because Ari is protecting him.

first merge boot be lookin good for me if people dont put in effort into speaking to me why should i try? jabari i dont want to target them anymore its not smart i need to talk to brandi alot more also idk im kinda tired thank god i got the idol.

dan is having a rough time today and i feel bad :( it also doesn't help that ALI decided to tell nic that he thinks dan is a threat which ofc nic ran and told dan right away so i had to be like ali wtf don't do that!! and he was like no but its good for us bc they'll think we aren't close...... that is NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW ALI!!!

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

[thegingerlikes]

Literal brOTP

My new favorite thing, especially in Marvel films, is family relationships. My favorite part of GotG2 is the Nebula-Gamora dynamic, my fave part of Spiderman: Homecoming is Dad!Tony and his Spiderson, and my favorite part of ANY Thor movie is the Thor-Loki sibling rivalry. I’m going to focus on the latter in this squeal-essay.

I have really enjoyed Loki and Thor’s development over the films, both separately and together.

Thor is my favorite Avenger now because he has gradually shed his brawn-heavy approach and become more of a strategist. That, coupled with his loyalty and his newfound selflessness, make him a great role model and a perfect foil for Loki.

In the first Thor film, Loki progresses from a restless little brother to a man obsessed with simultaneously proving himself to and defeating his adoptive father and brother. At the core, this validation is all he really wants, even more than dominion over others (though he might settle for widespread fame and adoration). In Thor: The Dark World Loki experiences the ACTUAL loss of one of his “false” family, and is actually affected by it. This surprises even him. This causes, I believe, for Loki to stop trying to kill Thor and Odin. In Thor: Ragnarok, Loki realizes he not only doesn’t want Thor dead, but he wants to be a family with him. I’ll delve into why later on.

As Thor and Loki evolve over the span of the films, so too does their relationship with each other. To me, this is the most interesting part of either of their characters: Thor isn’t as compelling without Loki, Loki is just another trickster without Thor. 

Even in his initial jerk form, Thor is loving toward his little brother. Even when he finds out they aren’t related, he’s still loyal and believes the best of Loki. Pre-first film, I like to think this was a point of pride for Loki. He’s able to do whatever he wants and still retains the love of Thor. But since Loki is a trickster, he may think Thor only loves the mask of the dutiful brother he puts on. For a while this is partially true, and prevents Loki from truly connecting with his brother.

Loki’s family history is truly tragic. He was thrown away as a nuisance, picked up as a boon, and deceived his whole life. He has such low self-esteem that his first reaction to his Jotenheim heritage is to completely eradicate it. When a reformed Thor denounces the genocide, Loki is confused: didn’t Thor want war with Jotunheim before being banished? Then he realizes his brother has changed. What’s worse, he’s changed for the better, and Loki had no hand in it (this is why Loki is so bitter about Jane in Thor. Not because his brother was in love, but because Jane had accomplished in days what Loki couldn’t in years. Though, in reality, Jane didn’t do much to humble Thor). In his eyes, he’s not only lost his adoptive father to the Odin sleep, but he no longer knows his brother.

Thor, conversely, doesn’t ever consider Loki not his sibling, even after learning that Loki is a frost giant. But he also holds onto the brother he knew like a totem, not considering that Loki might have changed or, even worse, had always been different than the way Thor saw him. This blind love produces blind loyalty in Thor. Thor’s loyalty infuriates Loki. He wants to be the victim, wants to be completely justified in the horrible acts he commits. Thor’s love for him prevents that, in the eyes of others and even himself. So he denies Thor’s feelings as illegitimate, while simultaneously striving to make Thor hate him to kill off the last scrap of connection he has to his adoptive family.

Over the movies, he succeeds, to an extent. Thor holds out hope for Loki all through the murders he commits during the Chitari invasion, continuing to fall for Loki’s tricks because he still trusts him. Then Loki kills Coleson. After that, Thor accepts that Loki’s darkest side has consumed him: Loki is selfish, murderous, and without remorse. Still, he doesn’t hate him, doesn’t kill him. He never even comes close.

And Loki doesn’t, either. Upon rewatching Avengers recently, I noticed Loki’s hidden blade he stabs Thor with was very small. It would have been easy for Loki to carry a longer knife (heck, maybe he did), but his goal was to hurt Thor, but not kill him. Loki might tell himself he spared Thor because he wants his brother to witness his success, but really, he values his blond counterpart. 

Loki’s dependence on Thor for validation becomes more obvious in Thor: The Dark World. This movie is a mess, but it does accurately depict how the Attack on New York would affect on the brothers. Loki has begun to realize his limits, and Thor has realized how dark and demented his brother is. At the beginning of the movie, both men are content to despise each other for all time. Then, Frigga dies.

Frigga’s death greatly impacts how each son treats the other. Thor’s opinion of Loki changes very little, but he does want to be reasonable with Loki, so as to honor their mother’s memory. Loki, on the other hand, gains a stronger appreciation for his family after experiencing how profoundly his mother’s death affected him. The viewer can see him wrestle with this during the film, as he wants Thor to trust and pay attention to him, but also does whatever he can to rattle Thor’s cage. And in a hilarious turn of events, Thor accidentally encourages this behavior by pulling tricks on Loki.

My favorite parts in any Thor movie are when Thor gets one over on Loki, because not only is it funny, but most of the time you can tell Loki loves it. Before, Loki played a one-sided, cat and mouse game Thor didn’t even know about. Now Thor is in on it, and Loki is surprised to find he likes the challenge. It also feeds into Loki’s pretty obvious masochism, but I won’t get into that here.

One of the obstacles to Loki trusting Thor is Thor’s blind faith in Loki. It’s not until Thor begins distrusting Loki and anticipating his schemes that Loki believes his brother could actually love the true him. The tables have turned: now that Loki has finally attained his goal of making Thor disillusioned towards him, he now he wants Thor’s esteem. We have to give the trickster some credit: he knows his brother, and he knows what works for him. But instead of playing the long game and slowly regaining Thor’s trust, he fakes his own death, banking on the moral benefit of dying for another, and the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” principle.

And that death scene. Oh boy. I acknowledge Loki’s main motivation in faking his death was to escape prison and be venerated as a hero on Asgard, but he put in the extra effort to be Thor’s hero specifically. He says he’s sorry (for what? It could be for “not listening”, it could be for all his sins in the past), then he admits he died for Thor, not Odin. When recounting Loki’s heroism, Thor would have left this out, and Loki knows this. He wants to show Thor his hope in him wasn’t unfounded. Thor, his loyalty for his brother renewed, accepts his death (again), not believing even Loki could pull off such a deception.

But of course, he does, and even succeeds to peacefully and deftly usurp Odin in the process. Then, in the last scene of Thor: The Dark World, Loki as Odin talks to Thor. He gives a very self-aware speech about being proud of Thor, which I know is mostly for the audience’s benefit, and Loki could have only said what he thought Odin would say. What caught my imagination was that Loki!Odin didn’t send Thor on some long mission, or banish him, or suggest he wasn’t ready to rule. In addition, Loki couldn’t have been sure Thor would reject the throne, so what if Thor hadn’t? I believe Loki would have relished being Thor’s mentor, of ruling Asgard with him. This ambition definitely comes across in the next film.

Thor: Ragnarok is the culmination and resolution of all the past development between the brothers. Thor, bless him, figures out Loki’s deception pretty fast because, as Neil Gaiman writes in Norse Mythology, “when something goes wrong, the first thing [Thor] always thinks is, it is Loki’s fault. It saves a lot of time.” Even though he thought Loki was dead.

So Loki is almost back to square one as far as Thor is concerned. Thor distrusts him, and is angry with him for hexing and sending away their father. However, Loki doesn’t comprehend how badly he’s screwed up until Odin dies and Thor get murdery-eyed on the Norwegian plain. In that split-second, Loki knows that Thor is dangerously close to hating him. Curiously, he doesn’t prepare for a fight, but looks as if he’s going to beg for his life. Who knows what would have happened if Hela hadn’t shown up.

To his credit, Loki doesn’t attempt to join her side at any time in the film. Loki continues to act like Loki, though, putting his best interests first and his brother’s second. But Thor is his second. On Sakaar, Loki immediately invites Thor to be his co-conspirator in a coup d’état, again showing his willingness to rule alongside his brother (even if Loki is first-partner).

However, this is all too soon for Thor, who still sees his brother as an adversary, not an ally, and he rejects Loki’s offer. During the famous elevator scene, Thor tells Loki he agrees they shouldn’t even keep up the pretense of being a family. While Loki is obviously conflicted about this, Thor’s speech also isn’t all that seems. In a role reversal, Thor how Loki thinks, and he knows Loki thinks he’s stupid, too stupid to manipulate him, or to know when he’s being manipulated. He carefully constructs his speech and responses in the elevator to push all of Loki’s little brother buttons (this coming from an older sibling with experience in this area).

Thor begins by telling Loki flattering truth: that he idolized him and thought they’d be together forever. This inflates Loki’s ego, as he always wanted Thor to recognize him as an equal or superior. In the same moment, he realizes this is no longer the case due to his actions. Thor then alleviates some of the burden, inferring with “you’re you and I’m me” that their separation was inevitable. This and the paths diverging statement are both beliefs Loki has held, but never wanted Thor to have. He’s used to his brother chasing him. In order to reinstate this status quo, Loki says “it’s probably for the best that we never see each other again.” He expects Thor to protest here. After all, Thor has crossed galaxies, fought armies, risked death to be with his delinquent brother. Thor doesn’t deny or affirm Loki’s statement, but responds with the piece de resistance: “It’s what you’ve always wanted.”

This is the ultimate challenge to Loki. First of all, Thor is presuming to know what he wants, which Loki doesn’t think Thor can know about him, which makes Loki rethink what he actually wants. His gut reaction is to rebel, to say “don’t tell me what I want!” but that would mean he actually wants to stay with his brother, to be a family. Is that what he wants? Maybe. Now that Thor accepts the idea of their separation, maybe being a constant thorn in his side isn’t a bad prospect. All this, of course, ends up being a distraction so Thor can put the shocker on Loki’s back, but that it distracted Loki at all is telling. In reality, Thor didn’t agree they should become strangers, but he knew framing it that way would make Loki consider becoming his brother again. And that’s sibling love right there.

Immediately after this heart to heart, Loki pulls another Loki and tries to betray Thor. Thor doesn’t even hold it against him anymore: he just thwarts his brother and carries on. Perhaps he knows Loki will show up when he’s most needed later.

He’s right, of course. And when he does show up on Asgard, he does so in typical Loki fashion: in a cry for attention. But that’s who Loki is: selfish, murderous, short-sighted, but sensitive and seeking acceptance. Thor has now accepted Loki for who he is, and Loki isn’t about to lose that. Not only does he go along with Thor’s plan for Asgard (and revels in his brother’s recklessness), but he recognizes Thor’s kingship for the first time. That moment when Loki looks up from the final battle to see Thor embracing his true power, and that pride on his face… oh, my heart!

If I were writing the continuation of Thor and Loki’s relationship, I would never give Loki a redemption arc. Loki is the god of mischief. Instead, I would make him a part-time ally, but only with Thor. He doesn’t do anything selfless unless he knows Thor would be disappointed if he didn’t. He still plays tricks on his brother and the Avengers, but he no longer commits major crimes in their jurisdiction. Loki is at his mildest when bantering with Thor, and at his fiercest when Thor’s life is threatened. This is all selfish, though: without Thor, no one would accept him or be his equal. Thor knows all this, and is resigned and secretly flattered. He takes their relationship from day to day, enjoying fighting side-by-side again.

After Infinity War, though, (God willing they both survive) I think Loki would strike out on his own for a little while, in search of what would make him “more than a god of mischief.” Because he sees his brother’s progression, and like a little brother, he wants to keep up.

PS I know I focused a lot on Loki in this essay. This was unintentional, but happened because Loki’s development as a character is more dependent on Thor than Thor’s is on Loki. Thor’s changes center more around Odin, Frigga, and Jane, and the loss of said people. However, I wasn’t writing about their separate development in this essay, but the progression of their brotherly relationship. I hope I succeeded.

PPS In lieu of the new “news” about Loki being on Thanos’s team, I have heard multiple theories, and here’s what I like:

Anything involving Loki being mind-controlled. It prevents the whole “Loki, again?!” reaction, and provides lots of nice conflict.

Loki being forced against his will in some other way.

I will say this: they better not kill Loki off, because that’s also cliche at this point. They should kill Thor, and have Loki go ballistic. And then bring Thor back in some later film. Because, once again, Loki isn’t himself without Thor, and Thor isn’t a hero without Loki.

#thor #loki #thor odinson #loki laufeyson #thor: ragnarok #thor: the dark world #marvel #infinity war #character development #opinion #essay