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taralen · 23 hours

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[what do you mean]? [i wonder!]

LOSING MY @#()$. PSYCHOSIS VENT.

#my art #deltarune #spamton #big shot spamton #spamton g spamton #manic vent #psychosis #vent #rough drawing #sketch #doodle #I HATE ALL THAT NOISY NOISE #JUST WANT SOME DAMN PEACE AND QUIET #yet I GET YELLED OUT INSIDE AND OUT #you can'T STOP VIBRATIONS from traveling through particles in the air #WHAT I WOULD GIVE FOR A REAL [silencer]#33db? MORE LIKE 33 DEAD BEAT. GET THE $(%0 oUT OF HERE

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thelovesicklostones · 3 months

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Why am I hurt?

I don't get it I don't get why I pull this shit, I wanted attention that's it yet here I am crying by myself like some useless stupid child. Which honestly it feels like I am one at this rate. I just wanted their attention I wanted attention yet now they turn their back to me? I don't fucking get it I think I made them hate me. I shouldn't have ever made myself vulnerable like this I should of stuck to my original fucking plans then I wouldn't be in pain I don't know if this is what you'd consider guilt or not. But I guess I did something bad but I'll be honest I really didn't try to do something bad just I got so angry and I just did. They don't even want me anymore they hate me I shouldn't ever made myself vulnerable I shouldn't have made myself known they never actually loved me. They faked it I shouldn't have trusted them.

I don't know why I acted out like that I really really don't I don't get why I do these things. I don't get there guilt, I don't get why my whole bodies going fuzzy and I don't get why I'm crying over something this pathetic I feel so small. I wanna apologize and as per usual I don't apologize because if I do I'll look like I'm weak. But I wan them to come back but I know they'll never want me again because I keep fucking up and I went to far. Why do I get so angry? I do love them just I can't fucking show it right. I shouldn't ever thought I could be more then this why did I try to open up and soften up when I just ruin everything I touch. Everything I leave or create in my tracks always ends up broken or hideous.

I wish I was never born, I wish I was dead, all I ever do is ruin everything I touch. Nothing I do is good enough I don't belong here, nobody actually wants me and I can't do anything right. I shouldn't have thought they'd stay I knew eventually I'd fuck up and make them leave me alone to. I am a total fucking mistake and an accident.

#toxic love #obsessive love disorder #irl yandere #yandere #long term relationships #actual yandere #yandere community #mommys boy #daddys boy #abbas boy #partner system #Tsams fictive #fictive #manic vent #bpd vent #vent post

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sliccie · 2 months

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I’m writing this as I smoke my last cigarette. That is a lie—I smoked it four hours ago—but it sounds dramatic, so I’m keeping it in.

It’s just too damn easy to waste too much time, especially as an alcoholic—a drug addict, mentally fractured, emotionally incapable, a psychologist’s worst nightmare and biggest pay day. When it comes time to rise towards the surface, there are only fragments left of what could’ve been. What should’ve been. The life you were meant to live if you weren’t such a fucking disappointment; always looking for an escape to the stars, to live inside the moon. Too much time has past, nobody is sure when or where, and when you’re finally able to notice the damage is irreversible. Failed at the life you weren’t even able to live. All for-

All for what? Does it even matter at this point?

I’m not a very good person. I try to be, but as I’ve sobered up, I’m starting to become disturbed by thoughts and recollection; scrutinizing my past, judging my character—situations and events, whether they were in my control or not is purely irrelevant. I’m catching myself asking, if there was ever any goodness inside of me, had I burned it all away with careless disposition? Or was there nothing to begin with? Sour from the start. A small kid without the correct mind to survive in such a world, cold to the touch. All of which begs the question: maybe I deserve to be where I’m at now?

It’s easy to blame it on the substances, but when I’m sitting alone with nothing but the moon casting its spell from my window drapes to the paint speckled floorboards, it’s hard to hide from admitting that perhaps I wasn’t as out of control as I’d like to believe. I knew what was right and wrong, yet I did it anyway—what does that make me? A sinner, soulless? A human in its barest sense, created for the purpose of making mistakes to be corrected? Is that trying to somehow bring sympathy to the Devil?

#slicci stammers #alcohol #addiction #mental health #alcoholism #diary entry #stupid #journal 1 #vent post #tw vent #writing #words without meaning #manic vent #depressing shit

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princess-bevvie · 5 months

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I need to make him not hate me and I did a shitty job earlier

#manic vent #🥀wilted rose

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misterdoctorbitchcraft · 4 months

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who suffered more: Jesus Christ (died on the cross) or me (I just want a lil kiss)

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hamoodmood · 30 days

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melankoliskt · 7 months

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pureelectrah · 7 months

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#gaslight gatekeep girlblog #girlblogging #girlhood #hell is a teenage girl #lana del rey #lizzy grant #tumblrina #coquette #just girly things #this is a girlblog #female manipulator #marina and the diamonds #marina #manic pixie dream girl #girl interupted syndrome #ruslana korshunova #virgin suicides #sofia coppola #vent

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hotgirlmessss · 1 year

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What the fuck is wrong with my brain

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reyblogs · 29 days

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shesmanic · 22 days

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thelovesicklostones · 3 months

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Tw: manic vent

They don't love me they don't they love their cat more then me its not fair the way they talk about that useless ball of flesh and fire is way more lovey then me. They hate me I don't think they love me it hurts so so bad I wanna cry it hurts I love them why don't they love me as much. Im supposed be number one and they were even listing ways their cat is better then me. I hate everything I hate being alive I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it their supposed to love ME. They lied I think they lied and they don't love me most they hate me I am pretty sure they hate me. Said i cause these problems and that problem I hate myself i hate living if I can't be perfect for them I'd rather be fucking dead I don't deserve to live if I can't please them. Why can't they get that? They treat me like I'm this selfish piece of shit and i cant get why they won't just UNDERSTAND ME. I WANT THEM TO UNDERSTAND ME. I want them to understand and love me but they just think I'm a bad person, im not even a good little or boyfriend I'm just a useless waste of space nobody wants I belong in the trash alone to rot. I get why they don't love me I'm not pretty or handsome, or well behaved, or smart, or fun, or ever ok I am just worthless I hate myself I hate my everything why can't I just be PERFECT why can't I just be their favorite thing. All I ever do is fuck up that's why I'm not good enough. It doesn't matter what I say or do because I always act out in ways I don't even really want to and hurt them. I don't wanna be alive if i can not do enough or be good enough. I don't get why I fuck up all the time. At this rate they should just break up with me because im worthless a worthless worthless bad little boy who is useless to the world who can only hurt the ones I love.

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#irl yandere #obsessive love disorder #toxic love #yandere #abbas boy #daddys boy #mommys boy #long term relationships #yandere community #actual yandere #Manic vent #bpd vent #bpd #partner system

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bloody-gh0st-thing · 6 months

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feel depressed for a week -> 2 week manic episode -> try to recover from manic episode -> feel completely numb for a week bc the happiness is gone -> mental breakdown -> feel depre

#gh0stie.txt #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd moment #bpd shit #actually borderline #borderline problems #borderline personality disorder #bpd #borderline splitting #bpd splitting #manic depression

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prwlnglthr · 1 year

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manic depression has a-captured my soul...

#old vent art! whenever I spiral I do these extremely fast sloppy doodles to try and keep me from TOTALLY losing it #the mixed-manic ones are much much more fun to look at than the depressive spiral ones...#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe3h #spx art #spx fanart #spx digishit #spx chicken scratch

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buildingtoacrescendo · 1 year

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#self h@rm #mental health #self mutalition #shblr #tw s3lf harm #tw self sabotage #tw sh vent #tw self destruction #sh relapse #tw sui implied #sh thoughts #su1c1d4l #tw cvts #manic pixie dream girl

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hamoodmood · 20 days

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