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cadencedreaming · 5 months

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Neurodiverse Relationships and Trust

I recently came across the statement that a Neurodivergent's “love language” is Trust.

Now if you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know what love languages are, it’s a system of how different people express love to the people in their lives. The five identified “languages” are Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts. This is not a post about that, but there are plenty of resources online if you want to look it up.

There’s been content circulating in recent times about ‘Neurodivergent love languages’ which is quite good, looking at some additional ways a Neurodivergent person might express their affection - Infodumping, Body Doubling/Parallel Play, Support Swapping, Deep Pressure, and Penguin Pebbling (more info here: https://careclinic.io/neurodivergent-love-languages/).

Getting back to the idea of Trust as a love language, I would disagree that it is a ‘love language’ in itself. Rather, I’d say that Trust is the foundational requirement for a healthy relationship to flourish - it’s the umbrella under which love can be expressed. And it’s intrinsic for the survival of a Neurodiverse relationship.

See, a lot of Neurodivergent people have “learned” that showing others our true selves is often the quickest pathway to rejection. What is ‘learning’? At a base level, ‘learning’ is the acquisition and retention of knowledge for future application. It is the ability to comprehend that x + y = z, and to later apply ‘y’ to ‘x’ to get ‘z’ because we know that is the formula for a successful outcome.

People learn all kinds of things. We learn mathematics. We learn to spell our own name, to tie our shoes. We learn how to boil water and make soup. We learn that socks and sandals are a combination to be mocked. We learn that humans make mistakes. We learn that touching a hot stove hurts. We learn that love hurts.

And what do we do with that knowledge? We retain it for future use. We use math to sew and cook and create. We use appropriate tools to avoid physical pain. We use social cues to avoid emotional pain. We learn to exercise caution in relationships, because we know they can fail. We avoid circumstances that have harmed us in the past.

It can be hard to unlearn things. Because in fact you never ‘unlearn’ something - it’s always there, embedded in our brains. All we can do is add to, overwrite, amend and adapt the knowledge we’ve gained through past education and experiences.

Neurodivergent people ‘learn’ early on that we are different, that we don’t quite fit in, that some of the things we do are odd or ‘quirky’. We learn because we are told that our whole lives will now be a series of masks and pretending to be "normal", a pretension that will often demand every resource in our bodies and leave us exhausted for days, weeks or months. We learn that our emotions and natural responses to things are unregulated and unacceptable.

Some of us only know that we are different, but never know why. A lot of us end up choosing to shut down, to shut the world off, or to seek out other neurodiverse people for our primary social circles. Some of us give up on finding love, on finding acceptance, indeed, on even finding a place for ourselves in this world at all.

This is why it is absolutely necessary to know that when we do open up, when we do choose to trust another human enough to let them through our defenses, that we’re not inadvertently subjecting ourselves to yet another instance of being othered. That we’re not going to experience ridicule, condescension and disdain just for being ourselves. Because we are weird - and we know we’re weird - but we don’t want to have to mask around the people who should accept us at face value.

I’ve got a particular stim that past partners have made fun of me for doing. I’ve been called weird for talking to myself and made fun of for instances of involuntary echolalia. I’ve been coerced into social occasions because my partner hasn’t understood my battery is way too low. I’ve been forced into conversations I didn’t have the energy for just because I didn’t want the other person to be upset. I’ve been patronised by partners for failing at a task they thought was easy. I’ve been dismissed by partners during moments of vulnerability, because they didn’t understand how the things I was being exposed to could pose a challenge for me, because it didn’t for them.

Of course, there’s always going to be misunderstandings, and the need for communication lines to be kept open and flowing to combat those misunderstandings will always be present. Humans are always going to find other humans weird. But we need to know that the people we choose to spend our most intimate moments with are not going to judge us for being weird. We need to know that they’re not going to fetishise our quirks. We need to know that they’re going to be supportive, no matter what.

If we feel like we are being othered or forced into situations where we will need to mask around a potential partner, it only creates barriers to the fostering of that relationship, or even brings the premature conclusion of what could have been a potentially good partnership.

Some personal examples…

I was chatting to a guy a few years ago who wouldn’t stop bombarding me with messages. He said all the wrong things, through no fault of his own, and I didn’t have the words to be able to tell him. He finally started hurling passive aggressive phrases at me until I blocked him. (Interestingly, he still follows me on Instagram!)

I was dating someone during an intense period of stress where my ability to be verbal was wildly fluctuating, and he didn’t understand that sometimes an emoji or meme was all I could manage, even after I summoned enough spoons to tell him that. He laughed off my meme-speak as an ‘attempt to be funny’ and kept trying to force conversation. Needless to say, he didn't last long either.

Another person I met was fairly “mainstream” - normal job, normal style of dressing, typical cishet "guy" interests like pub rock and footy. He constantly commented favourably on my alternative style of dress, my alternative hair, asked me to take him to a goth club some time, etc. He said he’d never met anyone like me and it was “cool” how I was so “different”. Yet whenever I tried to deepen our connection and share some of my challenges on the spectrum, he either didn’t want to or was unable to understand that the very thing that made me ‘cool’ in his eyes also presented barriers he would have to acknowledge in order for us to take things to the next level.

Even recently, I had brunch with someone who really wanted to meet me, and the conversation kept cycling through me sharing something about myself and then having them question why I had said or done this, why didn’t I just do that instead, etc. It was exhausting and as a result I didn’t give this person a second date.

So assuming I even have the spoons to be able to navigate the hurdles necessary to form a significant connection, I now have a huge amount of trust-trauma, a kind of trust bankruptcy if you will, and no desire to ‘be myself’ around a potential partner only to have that backfire in my face again.

But the feeling of being loved and supported unconditionally is amazing, when you can achieve that with someone. When you feel you can be your most authentic self with someone, you have the confidence to let them laugh with you, because you know they’re not laughing AT you. And when you know the person you’re with isn’t going to judge you, that you don’t have to monitor every word or action, that you don’t have to live every moment self-consciously, that you can be as weird as you want and let your freak flag fly and they’re not going to walk away - now THAT is pure magic.

So I guess the TL;DR here is - Trust is not just a nice-to-have, it’s a must-have. Especially for Neurodivergent people who are often operating on a deficit of trust. Because a lot of us have had the world telling us we’re weirdos from the moment we were born, and it’s so refreshing and soul-restoring to sit confidently in a relationship environment that celebrates our weirdness as uniqueness, without judgement. It’s like being able to breathe fresh air again, after being underwater for far too long.

#love languages #neurodivergence #neurodiverse #neurodiverse love languages #autism #dating on the spectrum #autism and dating #neurodiverse relationships #relationships #trust

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chronicsymptomsyndrome · 3 months

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It has been a day.

and

It has been a day!!!

are related but very different and I am feeling both. just wanted to share in case this makes any amount of sense at all

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moonshadow-thoughts · 2 years

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Do you ever feel like you miss out on life, because you are not able to socialize the way most people do?

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aroaceleovaldez · 7 months

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reminder that the only reason the "ADHD is actually demigod BATTLE STRATEGIES" and "dyslexia is DEMIGOD BRAINS HARDWIRED FOR ANCIENT GREEK" things exist in the PJO universe is because it's a very direct reference to early 2000s teaching/parenting techniques for neurodiverse and disabled children, which aimed to frame childrens' disabilities and hardships as a "superpower" or strength so that the children would feel more positively about their disabilities or situations. This technique has fallen out of favor since then for the most part since more often than not it just results in kids feeling as though their struggles are not being seen or taken seriously.

Yes, demigods are adhd/dyslexic (and sometimes autistic-coded) in the series. This is extremely important and trying to remove it or not acknowledge it makes the entire series fall apart because it is such a core concept. Yes, canon claims that their adhd/dyslexia is tied to some innate abilities, which is based on an outdated methodology. It's important to acknowledge that and understand where it comes from! But please stop trying to apply it to other pantheons in the series like "oh, the romans have dyscalculia because of roman numerals!" or "the norse demigods have dysgraphia for reasons!" - it's distasteful at best.

A better option is to acknowledge the meta inspiration for why that exists in the series, such as explaining potentially that Chiron was utilizing that same teaching methodology to try and help demigods feel more comfortable with their disabilities and they aren't literal powers. In fact, especially given Frank, there's implication that being adhd/dyslexic isn't a guaranteed demigod trait, which means it's more likely to be normally inherited from their godly parent/divine ancestor as a general trait, not a power, and further supports the whole "ADHD is battle strategy" thing being non-literal. It also implies the entire greco-roman pantheon in their universe is canonically adhd/dyslexic - and that actually fits very well with the themes of the first series. The entire central conflict of the first series fits perfectly as an allegory about neurodiverse/disabled children and their relationships with their undiagnosed neurodiverse/disabled parents and trying to find solutions together with their shared disability/disabilities that the kid inherited instead of becoming distant from each other (and this makes claiming equivalent to getting a diagnosis which is a fascinating allegory! not to mention the symbolism of demigods inheriting legacies and legends and powers from their parents and everything that comes with that being equivalent to inheriting traits, neurodiversity, and disabilities from your parents).

anyways neurodiversity and disability and the contexts in which the series utilizes representation of those experiences particularly during the 2000s symbolically within the narrative is incredibly important to the first series and the understanding of what themes it means to represent. also if i see one more "the romans have dyscalculia instead of dyslexia" post in 2023 i'm gonna walk into the ocean.

#pjo #riordanverse #percy jackson #analysis #meta #adhd #dyslexia #also this symbolism recontextualizes the relationship between demigods and their godly parents so much #particularly Percy and Poseidon and the whole ''I'm sorry you were born thing'' like DAMN that's an ENTIRE DIFFERENT IMPLICATION #honestly in general the first series' meta analogy of being a demigod as symbolism for being neurodiverse/disabled ROCKS SO HARD #that's SO COOL and im SO SAD NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT IT #i could write a whole essay on that alone like COME ON GUYS #can we PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THIS I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE COOL DISABILITY METAPHORS....#anyways i didnt proofread this cause. re: dyslexia so if it doesnt make sense dont worry about it #i can try to explain further in supplementary posts if people so wish

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turns-out-its-adhd · 7 months

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#adhd memes #neurodivergence #adult adhd #adhd #neurodiversity #neurodiversesquad #adhd things #adhd brain #neurodiverse stuff #adhd mood #neurodivergent #neurospicy #its the neurodivergency #audhd #hobbies #jobs #relationships #I've quit them all #jack of all trades

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acollectionofas · 2 months

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How does one find a QPP? Asking for a sad aroace friend who just wants someone to go on adventures with, and talk to after a long day of work, and cuddle on the couch with, and tell stories to, and infodump with, but who very much does not want a romantic or sexual relationship. (The friend is me).

#queer pride #nonbinary #neurodiversity #aromanticism #aro pride #aroace #aromantic #arospec #asexual #aromantic asexual #asexuality #queer community #queer platonic relationship #queer platonic partner #queer platonic love #lgbtqia #lgbtq community

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my-autism-adhd-blog · 3 months

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Re-learning Boundaries as an Autistic Adult

Neurokinection

#autism #actually autistic #autism and boundaries #re-learning boundaries #autism and relationships (romantic and platonic)#neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to share/reblog #Neurokinection (Facebook)

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zeynatura · 8 months

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Ranting about Nucani

There is something I want to express and this fandom should know.

Nu: Carnival is a Harem game but unlike most games in the genre the relationships with MC are all canon within the same story, there are no "Routes", no "Alternate Universe/Timelines", it's all 1 Main Story where you get to gradually meet all the Characters who'll be your companions, in this game named Clan members, and all of them one way or another end up falling for Eiden (MC), which makes polyam relationship canon with Eiden as the center:

Like very few games have polyam representation, let alone a positive one, like yes the polycule it's very Eiden central but even then all the Clan Members interact with one another, as we see mainly in the time limited Events but also in the Main Story, and have friendly and amicable interactions, they rely on one another sometimes even without Eiden being involved.

But also, Aster and Morvay have a relationship established too since way before the events of the prologue of the game, Kuya and Quincy have hinted some sort of situationship (idk I don't care about Quincy and my knowledge about Kuya is limited to what happens in the story and events cause I have no limited SSRs nor have I read any of his Intimacy Rooms).

[Also if any of you knows of any other relationship that have been hinted at that i'm missing feel free to share, i specifically ask of you to refer to only canon, i know in fanon anything and everything is possible and sometimes we may be missperceiving some interactions between characters so i ask of you to take those rose tinted glasses off and see unfiltered canon, it's hard for me too ngl so dw]

All this started with some posts I saw about ppl feeling bad for Yakumo and/or Edmond to be "forced into a polyam relationship" when they are the "most romantic members" and "deserve a monogamous relationship", their words not mine, as if mono > poly , but also do you really think they're against it!?

One thing is being Clan Members against their will (which is all Huey's fault btw), having to work together to regulate the Altars' Essence (or their own) and then another one completely is involving themselves in a personal and intimate way with Eiden, which the latter they all did in their own terms and out of free will.

Also i wanna share one of the best and my fav scenes with Karu, which i know not everyone was able to experience it cause it's hidden in the Intimacy Rooms of a Limited SSR, but it expresses exactly why the polycule is consensual.

Context: Eiden has been worrying about forcing the Clan Members to be with him because he is the New Grand Sorcerer, against their will just because of Huey's magic that ties them together and the responsibility of Regulating the Altars and basically maintaining stability in the Klein Continent.

His worries began (at least that i noticed) in "Eerie Escapade" (Halloween Event), that was also the first time Garu got hurt while protecting Eiden and the first time Karu got mad at him and fronted to yell at Eiden (which is my another fav scene of Karu omg i love him so much i gotta go back and take screenshots of that but that's for another post), the second one being in "Army x Blood x Oath" (which are the screenshots i'll show u)

Because this are the Intimacy Rooms of Garu/Karu's Limited SSR this scene focuses on Eiden feeling guilty because Garu got hurt in the past (Halloween Event) and this time he lost his memory (temporarily, due to this event's story) and Eiden blaming himself for it all and wondering if they would be better off without him, but the same can and is applied to the rest of the Clan Members, seeing how Eiden met and approached Rei while respecting his privacy and independency even tho he's also a Clan Member and the newest introduced in the story, means that the Limited Events are also canon and part of the story because Eiden seems to be growing and learning from previous Events and showing that development in future Events and the Main Story.

Karu also mentions that Garu (prior to losing his memories) was also worrying about the same thing Eiden was, like 'what if Master (Eiden) stays with us just because of the contract with Huey? :c' and he calls them both idiots because they don't communicate and fronts to fix it! (Mighty Karu to the rescue)

And talking about "Eerie Escapade" that is also the event where Yakumo's possessiveness towards Eiden shows, i'll admit i haven't seen the last room but i feel like those people i mentioned before are using it as fuel to their idea, because if Yakumo is jealous of other Clan Members interacting with Eiden and "Wants him all to himself" that must mean he wants a monogamous relationship, right?

WRONG!

That just means Yakumo is a complex person that feels different emotions specially when it comes to the most important person in his life (Eiden) other than his grandparents!

And Yakumo feels guilty for having those feelings, not because of them being in a polycule and he not wanting to be in it, but because he has trauma and sees his desires and wants as selfishness and he would never allow himself to be selfish cause he doesn't want to hurt people, he's a people's pleaser! He lives with constant fear of hurting others like the Great Serpent did when it killed many (but apparently there may be more that meets the eye, because the current event hinted that the Great Serpent actually liked humans and took care of children ???)

And Yakumo dealing with those feelings along with his yokai powers as a descendant of The Great Serpent have been the main topic of his last 3 Limited SSRs, which is great because that means CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT~

Now unfortunately i cannot talk about Edmond's Intimacy Rooms as i'm missing ALL OF HIS SSRs (why do you hate me Edmond if ily) but from what i've seen he's also pretty happy being with Eiden, heck even HIS MOM is happy his son is with Eiden!

That's right, she's the first and only parent of the Clan Members that knows and approves of their relationship, if it weren't because most of them are orphan we could get many more... i wonder if Yakumo's grandparents are aware hmmm ... and we all know Olivine's parents are gonna HATE it xD and maybe Garu's wolf pack will approve of Eiden by the end of this event.

#i just realized i may not be the right person to talk about polyam relationships and representation #even if i'm open to polyamory while in a monogamous relationship currently #and i do my best to do my research about it and learn from polyam people #but then again i used to do the same with queer people before finding out i was queer #and neurodiverse people before realizing i am one too #and the most recent was autism :D #so maybe i'm not the wrong person to talk about it #also if any of you treat Garu and Karu as the same person when they're a system i will lose it #or worse when people don't acknowledge Karu #help me i love these pups with my life and i will protect them #aster and morvay relationship's nature is not for us to decide #but the fact is that they have one #nu carnival #nucani #canon polyamory #if you read all this i love you~#edit: i thought Morvay having multiple sex partner was obvious 🤔#but some ppl pointed it out so #yeah #the incubus has sex with many ppl besides Eiden and Aster all consensual #while Aster finds it annoying but also helpful Eiden think it's hot #big edit: nvm I AM THE RIGHT PERSON to talk about this as im ambiamorous #which means im happy both in a monoam and polyam relationships #so i am in the polyam spectrum and would love to have what these boys have

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cadencedreaming · 4 months

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ND Love Languages - Penguin Pebbling

I've been thinking about the Neurodivergent love languages ever since I mentioned them in another post. Of the five "languages," Penguin Pebbling is by far my go-to strategy for signalling "Hey, I like you!" Sometimes referred to as "Look at this cool rock I found!", Penguin Pebbling is based on the practice observed in Gentoo penguins, who will scoop up a good pebble in their beaks and carry them to their nest partner. This BBC article says it's "a gift that acknowledges the relationship between the two penguins and helps grow the nest for their budding family.”

In humans, ‘pebbles’ can be anything from a funny meme to a pic of the dinner we just cooked, to an art piece we're working on. It can be a random snap that encapsulates our experience of any particular given moment, or a small thing we bought that brings us joy. The point of Penguin Pebbling is to share something you found/saw/did/experienced that you thought was funny and cool, to let the other person know you're thinking of them and wanting to include them in your world. It's also an easy test to see if the other person is on your wavelength, and a great way to connect and add to a “nest” for a budding relationship.

To further build on the idea of ‘love languages’ in general, today I found out about something called 'emotional bids', via this page: "[Emotional] Bids can be small or big, verbal or nonverbal. They’re requests to connect. Bids are often purposely subtle because people are afraid to be vulnerable and put themselves out there. It’s scary to say, “Hey! I want to connect! Pay attention to me!” so instead, we ask a question or tell a story or offer our hand for connection. We hope we’ll receive connection in return, but if not, it’s less scary than pleading, “Connect with me, please!”

Penguin Pebbling is an extremely low risk emotional bid. If you share something you like with someone, and they think it's gross, stupid or unfunny, or judge you for it… well then you know you haven't found the right person to connect with, and you can choose to dial back your investment in them no harm no foul. It's certainly an easy way to avoid being hurt; instead of a wild declaration of intention that leaves you vulnerable, at worst you're left with a joke that didn't land, or an artistic endeavour in need of appreciation by someone else.

But what happens when two Penguin Pebblers get together and pebble each other until there's an eight feet wall of tiny stones between the two of you? Honestly this is a very real problem, ngl. It probably involves someone punching a hole through the wall to finally have a frank conversation about all the cool rocks you've collectively gifted each other, which turns a low risk activity into an extremely high risk one. But if neither of you does it, you’ll just be awkwardly staring at each other across rooms and up all night texting memes to each other until your friends finally stage an intervention to get the two of you together. (Remind me to post on “Lesbian Sheepitude” sometime!).

At any rate, I find it interesting to have discovered a new ‘love language’ (my traditional LL is ‘words of affirmation’, which as a writer, should come as no surprise). I can definitely identify lots of times in the past where I engaged in pebbling, without knowing what it was or why I felt so hurt when partners and friends didn’t care about the shiny thing I was trying to show them. I know it’s impossible to wrap everything up in a tidy box with a neat little bow, but it does give me some tools to understand and communicate more transparently with the important people in my life.

One of the things I’m the most proud of myself for is that I took the time about a decade ago to do some intentional and intense personal development work around improving my attitudes towards honesty and integrity and improving my communication with people. That’s why I find all this stuff about how humans relate and communicate and feel about each other so fascinating. In another life I’m sure I would have made a great actual psychologist, instead of just an armchair one. :P

#relationships #neurodiverse relationships #neurodiverse love languages #love languages #penguin pebbling #communication #relationship psychology

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wangxianficrecs · 25 days

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💙 your heart is mine to fortify by sunflowersfield

💙🔒 your heart is mine to fortify

by sunflowersfield

G, 2k, Wangxian

Summary: A few mornings later, Wei Ying stares up at his ceiling and listens to the wind blowing through the willow tree outside his window. It is 4:15 a.m. and he is wide awake once more. For a while, the howling wind is the only sound he hears, and then, there is movement from somewhere below him. The opening and closing of cabinet doors. Light footsteps tapping on a hardwood floor. The clanging of metal against glass. Lan Zhan has arrived at the bakery. Wei Ying allows himself to be swept away by the symphony of sounds that Lan Zhan unknowingly creates as he begins his day. His breathing slows, and his body relaxes bit by bit. He imagines that he is listening to a lullaby written just for him. And just like a lullaby, the symphony guides him back to sleep. Or: Wei Ying lives in the apartment above Lan Zhan's bakery. Or part 2: Wei Ying learns how to accept Lan Zhan's help. Kay's comments: Everybody wake up, AO3 user sunflowersfield has dropped another soft banger. This was incredibly soft, with Wangxian meeting and immediately both falling for each other and you can just tell with both of them and Lan Wangji makes such a perfect baker! The early hours and the routines and the cuteness of his creations with which he spoils Wei Wuxian - perfection. And I love how they both look out for each other and make space for each other in their lives. Excerpt: Wei Ying has lived above the bakery for nearly two years, but Lan Zhan has only owned it for three months. Wei Ying noticed him for the first time on a Saturday morning. The sun was bright that day, but there was a chill in the air. He was returning from the store, carrying three bags of groceries in each hand and eagerly awaiting the warmth of his apartment. He did not have time to stop. And yet, two things caught his eye: a brand new sign above the bakery door and a glimpse of someone new standing behind the front counter. Someone he felt drawn to. Wei Ying had rushed up the stairs to his apartment and unpacked his groceries as quickly as possible. When he was finished, he ran back down the stairs and out onto the sidewalk. He waited patiently as a mother exited the bakery with a stroller, and he reached out to hold the door for her. Then, he walked inside. "Hi,” he said, and the man behind the counter looked up. "Hello,” the man responded, meeting his gaze. And that was how it all began.

pov wei wuxian, modern setting, modern no magic, bakery, meet-cute, first meetings, getting to know each other, stranges to lovers, falling in love, developing relationship, soft lan wangji/wei wuxian, getting together, neurodiversity, jiang family dynamics, insomnia, anxiety, mental health issues, sharing a bed, happy ending, mutual pining, domestic fluff, slice of life

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

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jeanvaljeancheri · 4 months

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Here are some recs with the secret relationship trope! Most of them are andreil but the last one is jerejean :) i organized them by word count to make it easier.

The Enemy of My Friend is My Super Enemy 2k

Grace stands in solidarity with her teammate and friend Andrew Minyard.

Therefore, she hates that asshole Neil Josten.

don’t hate the player, hate the game 2k

Allison smirks suddenly. “At least I got an up close view of that ass.”

“Not a total loss then.” Nicky grins at her and they fist bump.

Kevin just sits there watching them, silently judging them and siping his vodka.

(neil is a hot stranger at the bar. people try and get with him. kevin drinks copious amounts of alcohol.)

Raven's Nest Burning 2k

While Andrew and the Foxes were in the stadium parking lot, next to the team bus, waiting for Wymack to appear, Evermore's East Tower exploded.

Pointless 3k

The Foxes have only ever known him as the vicious, vindictive Monster he’s portrayed himself as. Now, he’s a mystery no one knows how to solve; hard and violent for strangers, soft and gentle for this boy with the sharp smile.

5 times the Foxes accidentally spied on Andrew and his secret boyfriend and the 1 time they actually get to meet him.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day 4k

Neil has one of the worst days and Andrew is able to make it a little bit better.

Welcome to my Professor Neil and Professional Exy Player Andrew world! This is probably going to be a series where I explore more of this little AU that I love dearly!

i'll keep you 4k

Aaron asked, “What’s your deal? What’s going on?”

Andrew had no choice. He stood up, walked to the bowl of freshly cut melon surrounded by pools of watermelon juice and an assortment of black seeds, and plucked a piece of the fruit. It was dark red and glistening and sweet on his tongue.

It tasted like ash. Like a dirty little secret. Like a mistake.

The Bet 5k

“I bet the monster will come alone again this year,” he says, his voice scratchy like the sound of a blender in the early hours of the morning.

“I’ll take that bet,” Aaron says, face a blank slate, anger cooling behind his eyes.

“Five hundred bucks,” Seth replies, eyes sparkling in amusement. He’s got the face of someone who thinks they’ve won.

“A thousand,” Aaron counters. Andrew’s eyebrow twitches up imperceptibly, a feeling like a laugh bubbling up his throat.

(In which Neil and Andrew are secretly married.)

it's disillusion, and confusion (this illusion of me) 5k

“Okay, kid. You can fend for yourself I’m sure, but you won’t be able to beat the guy whose car this is. He’s dangerous.” Ignoring the way Neil snorted, Matt barreled on. “Like, really dangerous.” He trailed off; Neil looked as though he was torn between amusement and anger.

or; 5 times the foxes were confused over neil and andrew's relationship and the 1 time andrew made it clear

Not-So-Secret Someone 6k

Eight times the Foxes discover that Andrew is seeing someone and one time they meet Andrew’s elusive partner

about u 9k

Neil and Andrew have been friends since they were kids. Recently though, those feelings had turned into more. While they try to keep their relationship secret because they’re scared of their families’ reactions, they go on a family beach vacation. Chaos ensues.

Brother of Mine 12k

'Aaron should have known something was going on with Andrew when he had agreed to change their deal.

Thoughts of Katelyn, of not having to hide her anymore, took up all the space in Aaron’s mind and he never wondered why Andrew would have relented so easily.

Looking back, it should have been obvious what was going on.'

OR: 5 times Aaron should have realized Andrew had somebody, and the one time he met him.

Odd Eye 16k

Andrew spends most of his childhood thinking he is a psychopath. He is not. Andrew is, and always will be, just Andrew.

That Isn't Nothing 38k

A look into the lives of pro exy players Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten. The world says they hate each other, but when Andrew gets transferred to Neil's team, their teammates begin seeing something else between them.

Sixteen hours 120k

started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this (affectionate)

Jean and Jeremy secretly start dating in their final year at USC.

In my top three favourite jerejean fics of all time!

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moonshadow-thoughts · 11 months

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I don't think people understand what it means to be lonely and misunderstood for an entire life.

When I was a lonely child I was always thinking to myself "It will be okay, I will have friends when I'm a teenager."

When I was a lonely teenager I always thought to myself "its okay, I will have friends and a relationship when I'm an adult."

But now that I'm an adult I realize, its much more likely that it will stay that way forever. I will never belong anywhere.

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inbtwner · 1 month

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he hurt me so bad i wrote poetry abt him

#poetry #literature #relationship #relationships #wlw post #bisexual #mental health #rupi kaur #sylvia plath #sappho #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #dark academia #excerpts #bpd thoughts #thoughts #neurodiversity #neurodivergent

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chronicsymptomsyndrome · 5 months

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A love that is way more than platonic but still not sexual or romantic but a secret fourth thing

#aroace #arospec #acespec #aroace spectrum #aromantic #asexual #greysexual #demisexual #demiromantic #greyromantic #romantic orientation #aroace pride #audhd #neurodiversity #adhd autistic #autistic relationships #autistic love #neurodiverse love

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ceruleanwhore · 7 months

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I just had a friendship breakup and there’s some stuff with that that lines up with a particular sub-population of the internet that I think some of y’all really need to hear. Basically, it doesn’t matter if you’re neurodivergent or mentally ill or whatever, you cannot just deny reality, make shit up, and insist that your fantasies are real. For example, if you do something shitty to someone, you cannot just decide that them being mad at you is not a natural consequence of your actions and that they aren’t allowed to be upset because it makes you uncomfortable.

I bring this up on here because it’s super common for people with mental health struggles to go through a phase where they feel like everyone else should just cater to them while they do literally nothing to treat their issues. I know it comes from recognizing the unfairness of how everyone else can just do whatever while you have to dedicate years of your life to changing yourself but that change is necessary and you’ll get over it. This is for the traumatized girlies who try and insist that literally any and all expressions of anger are abuse and anything else like that because anger makes them uncomfortable so they make it everyone else’s problem. Touch grass and get a therapist, you’re not valid and you aren’t going to be able to form and maintain relationships as long as you have that level of entitlement and detachment from reality.

Also, I get that a lot of you didn’t get the special extra education that those of us who grew up autistic did, where you’re manually taught social pragmatics and emotions and shit, but I’ve also got another something special that y’all missed. If you did a shitty thing to someone you have a relationship with, it is neither normal nor valid for your very first response to them expressing their anger to be playing the victim and saying they can’t be mad at you. Same also goes for if your very first response to them is to nitpick the wording of what they just said before you say literally anything else. If you’re the asshole in the situation and now you need to make amends and shit, do the apology stuff first and then bring up any issues like that after.

Oh and last thing - I know it’s been said before but if anyone claims or acts like they’re always the victim, no the fuck they aren’t. If someone has a pattern of not having relationships with people last and then claiming every single time that they did nothing wrong and it was all the other person, they are lying. Also, don’t be that person either.

#interpersonal relationships #friendship breakup #emotional intelligence #mental health problems #mental health #mental illness #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff

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my-autism-adhd-blog · 3 months

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Autistic Love

Neurodivergent_lou

#autism #actually autistic #autistic love #ways autistic people show love #tw abuse #cw abusive relationships #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to share/reblog #Neurodivergent_lou (Facebook)

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