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milfgyuu · 7 days

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Hot Wheels [M] Pairing: Kim Mingyu x Fem!Reader Tags: 15.9k, 90's AU, Co-Workers to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, Smut 18+ Collab: Now That's 90's Summary: There has been something brewing between you and your part-time co-worker (full-time hottie), Kim Mingyu. Endlessly flirting on the clock at Wheelies, making out in the back of the movie theater, rolling around in the sand with a mighty good man...no other 90's dreamboat could ever compare. Warnings: SMUT 18+, MINORS DNI!! mxf (consensual) sex, fingering, low-key breast play, making out (in public), hickey talk, Mingyu is hung (obvs), he's also portrayed as 'taller' than the mc in interactions, mild to moderate language use, gyu's roomies are sloshed at the end (unrelated to smut or main characters), that should cover all the bases...

Fridays at the roller rink are always busy but this is the first official skate-night of Summer Time ‘99 and it’s like opening day all over again. The schools let out just a few hours ago, releasing hoards of teenagers with pent-up energy loose on your small town and there is a line out the door waiting to get into Wheelies to jump-start their next few months of freedom.

Thankfully, the owners prepared and bought a whole new stock of skates so when you inevitably have to help out at the rental counter you’ll have enough to go around without having to argue with some sixteen-year-old about not having their size.

For now, you’re on the floor making sure everything is running smoothly, gliding around in circles with your hands in your pockets. It’s not too packed just yet even though you can see the steady stream of kids filtering through the doors after hitting the ticket booth. Mothers are packing up their little ones knowing it’s time to head out before it picks up pace and the exchange in skaters coming on and off the floor keeps things pretty even for a short while.

As you pass by the DJ booth for the hundredth time this evening, Vernon pauses to make a goofy face at you while he sets up his equipment. He’s probably the one person who enjoys the summer nights the most because he gets to put on light shows and mix tracks to his heart’s content.

After letting the floor empty a bit more, you come to a stop in front of him for a quick break, crossing your arms and resting them over the top of his carpeted booth.

“You gonna play something special for me tonight, Nonnie?”

He rolls his eyes but grins all the same. “You ask me that every night.”

Laying your head on your arms, you look up at him with a pout, “And yet, no romantic song dedications to your favorite Wheelies girl,” you pick your head up and bat your eyes at him, “I’m starting to think you want to break up with me.”

“I promise if I want to end our made-up relationship, I’ll tell you like a real man. Besides,” Vernon laughs and tilts his chin up, looking at something behind you, “I think you’ve been seeing other people. Hotter Wheels if you catch my drift.”

“Heh, I think he hates that name,” you turn, catching sight of Mingyu ducking into the locker rooms to change out and stow his bag, most likely coming straight from hockey practice. Vernon is back to messing with things when you turn, humming, “Lets be real. I only like boys who don’t like me, Nonnie, that’s why you’re the one.”

“What if he’s like you and only goes for girls who don’t want him?”

At that you laugh, preparing to depart as the floor begins to steadily fill again. “Well then, he’ll be lonely forever because I am pretty sure everyone wants him.”

“Including you?”

Very stealthily, you flip him the bird.

Vernon just laughs it off and gets back to work as you skate away, toying with the whistle tied around your neck. You can tell he’s about to get started with his new set when the lights dim and the carpeted walls and floors outside of the polished skate floor start to glow. The little whirls and shapes coming to life with a neon purple hue.

You catch the line piling up at the rental booth but thankfully, it looks like they called in a few extra hands tonight to help there and in concessions which means you get to stay on the floor. Rentals isn’t the worst, that would be birthday party hosting, but you also hate concessions so you don’t put up a fuss when you’re asked to help with skates or in the front on the rare occasion one of the sweet old ladies manning the ticket windows is out.

As more people start piling onto the floor you slow your pace and skate backward for a few feet to check out your surroundings and find teenagers everywhere, loud and wildly unaware of their surroundings. They aren’t too awful this early in the night but you’re sure you’ll have to escort someone off the floor before closing time.

You’ll enjoy your leisurely pace for now and it seems Wonwoo is keen to do the same on the opposite side of the crowd. He weaves in and out of skaters bobbing his head to the music. His glasses are sitting lower on his nose than usual and you’re sure he’s broken them again…or his little brother did and he’s waiting for their exact replacement to come in so he can switch them out without his brother noticing and feeling any more guilty.

He’s only eight but Wonwoo is his very best friend. They come in on Saturdays together, one of Wonwoo’s only days off, and he teaches his brother to skate for an hour or so before he lets him loose in the arcade and they leave with matching ice cream cones in hand. They even have matching shaggy hairstyles. It’s adorable.

In truth, you’re fond of many of your co-workers but Wonwoo is definitely in your top three for that reason alone. You get along really well with any easy-going personality, it's the same with Vernon. They are both just nice, quiet guys and the exact opposite of the giant shadow hanging over your left shoulder.

Although, you suppose you get along just fine with him as well.

“Quit checking Wonwoo out, you’re breaking my heart.”

Even before he opened his mouth, the distinct cologne he always wore told you Mingyu was finally on the floor, ready to chase you around for the rest of the night like it was his full-time job. He spent more time trying to charm your pants off than doing what he was actually hired to do but he is so damn charming that he somehow gets away with it.

Besides, this is just a part-time gig for him. Might as well enjoy himself while he’s at it.

When you don’t answer right away, he decides to show off his stupidly impressive hockey maneuvers and he swings around in front of you, casually skating backward without bothering to look behind him. He’s big enough that people can’t miss him and they tend to move out of his path pretty quickly. Now that he sees your face, he’s smirking because you don’t even have it in you to hide your smile tonight. “Oh, that’s pretty,” he coos, “My heart’s healing already.”

You grab his arm to pull his hand away from his chest and he spins around to skate at your side, eyes briefly scanning the floor until they’re back on you.

“I wasn’t checking him out but believe me… you’re going to be absolutely devastated when Vernon finally admits he’s in love with me. Game over, buddy.”

Mingyu looks wholly unconvinced. “Well, he’s had long enough and you’re going to fall in love with me by the end of the week so…” he pinches his lips together like he’s just delivered the real, honest, awkward truth and you’re battling butterflies in your stomach.

“End of the week, huh? Are we sure?”

He gets distracted by an increase in volume but for only a moment because Wonwoo is already on it and the quick, sharp sound of his whistle means Mingyu’s full attention is on you again. “That’s what I have circled on my calendar,” he shrugs, “Nothing we can do about it now but let it happen.”

Mingyu’s sense of humor and playful nature are the literal nails in your coffin. You can handle hot with no personality…this one is hot with an overabundance of personality.

You look up at him, probably grinning ear to ear, “Bet you have little hearts doodled all over it with a hot pink gel pen, don’t ya, Hot Wheels?”

He grumbles something under his breath and it makes you snicker. Wonwoo started that one and it seemed to spread throughout the building like wildfire. Now, even the ticket ladies call him Hot Wheels though you’re sure they mean it quite literally whereas Wonwoo was actually just busting Mingyu’s balls about a particularly embarrassing tumble he took.

“Purple gel pen, actually,” he turns and pouts as you both bank around the curve again, “Lost my pink one.”

“Could always steal another one from your little sister.”

At that, he scoffs, the corner of his lips pulled up into a half-smile, “She threw a Barbie car at my head the last time I visited,” he doesn’t even sound upset…it’s more proud than anything, “She reminds me of you sometimes.”

When you go to respond, a young boy accidentally skates too close to you and his wheels knock into yours throwing you both off balance. You catch him by the arm, meeting his panic-stricken eyes, and wait to hit the floor but you rock back against a hard chest and thank all your lucky stars Mingyu was there to save you. The older you get, the harder the floor feels.

“I’m so sorry!” The boy exclaims once you’re all steady again, “I’m not good at this! I promise I wasn’t trying to take you out!”

His genuine concern is sweet and you laugh it off. “It’s totally okay and nobody got hurt,” you tell him and he takes a deep breath, “Wanna go around together a few times?”

The boy’s eyes shine and he nods his head rapidly. Mingyu drops back a few paces and you hold out your arm, elbow tucked into your side. “Okay,” you pat your forearm, “Hold on here…there you go…and we’re going to push off at the same time with the same foot. Hey, Gyu,” you call over your shoulder and he comes back up to your side, waiting for your instructions, “Will you skate a little ahead of us so he can watch you?”

“For sure,” Mingyu grins, picking up speed until he’s far enough away to slow his pace again and remain ahead of you.

The kid is a bit wobbly but he’s trying really hard and it makes you smile. You remember when you first learned to skate and how intimidating the rink was though you were around eight and he looks to be around fourteen. There wasn’t a floor full of bigger, faster kids to compete with though so you think maybe you got off easier.

“You’re doing great,” you encourage him, “Watch him go around the curve to get a better idea of how to steer yourself.”

Mingyu banks it beautifully, as usual. It’s surprising to most people that someone his size could skate so fluidly especially after learning that he only started playing hockey in his early teens. It was just something he had a natural talent for and trading out blades for wheels hadn’t altered his ability to move with grace whatsoever.

You work through the turn together, a little less smoothly, but you make it around and he lets out a short laugh. “He makes it look so easy.”

“Yeah, well he’s had lots and lots of practice and likes to show off.”

Your eyes settle on Mingyu again and as if he can sense you watching, he turns over his shoulder and winks which is not solely witnessed by you because the kid chuckles, following through the next curve with more confidence. “Is he your boyfriend? He’s kinda cool.”

The question catches you off guard and you laugh, covering your mouth with your free hand. “Not my boyfriend but yeah…I guess he’s kinda cool.”

He looks up at you…almost mischievously you’d think, if you knew him better. “I think he wants to be your boyfriend,” he snickers, “He keeps looking at you.”

You huff out a laugh, placing your hand over his before swinging you both into a stop out of the way. “I’m starting to think this is all a ruse and he’s paying you to put in a good word.”

The kid laughs and shakes his head, “No, I’m just nosey and a really lousy skater,” he says, looking up at Mingyu who’s come over and stopped next to you, “Thanks a lot for helping me out,” he looks a little sheepish, hand reaching around to scratch the back of his neck, “There is this girl at school I like and she’s a figure skater. She asked me out on a date at the ice rink when she comes back from vacation with her family in two weeks and I said yes even though I’m probably going to make a fool of myself. Figured I should start practicing now and falling on wheels is less intimidating than falling with knives on my feet.”

You laugh softly and Mingyu grins, shaking his head. “I admire your dedication to getting the girl, kid. Listen, I coach a youth hockey league at the ice rink down the road and have a free hour a few days a week that I use to practice myself. I’d be happy to teach you if you want.”

The boy’s eyes light up. “That would be so cool!”

Mingyu chuckles, “Alright, awesome. Are one of your parents here with you? I can go talk to them and give them my information.”

“Yeah! My grandma is sitting over there,” he points to the corner where you both make out an older woman sitting alone with a book in hand, surrounded by way too many boisterous young people.

You meet Mingyu’s eyes and both make a face. “Yikes, okay, let’s go save grandma.”

The boy thanks you again and starts to merge back into the flow of skaters as Mingyu smiles at you, pushing off with a ‘Don’t miss me too much’ and a stupid kissy face.

His grin is wild and gorgeous when you wiggle your fingers and whisper, “Bye, lover boy.”

Vernon is smiling at you when you reach his booth and you hop up onto the small ledge that allows a good look at the floor as a whole while also giving your legs a needed break. He’s playing one is his 80’s to 90’s pop mixes and tweaking the rotating lights that dance over the skaters until they start changing colors, neon polka dots as far as the eye can see.

There is a steady exchange of kids coming on and off the floor. Most of the early group heading into the arcade or bombarding the concessions counter while the later crowd takes their place. In between all that, you catch sight of Mingyu speaking with the boy and his Grandma. You don’t even realize that you’re unabashedly smiling at the scene, thinking about how kind and attentive he is when he’s listening. The way he leans in and pulls back, grinning and laughing.

“Still think you’re not into him?” Vernon says over your shoulder, laughing when you startle.

You purse your lips, eyes wandering back over. “I’m simply admiring his social aptitude,” you flick your eyes back up to Vernon and grin, “Why? Is it making you jealous darling?”

He smirks, “Not yet. Gonna have to try harder.”

“Ugh,” you swoon, hand over your heart, “I love it when you play hard to get.”

Vernon nods his head laughing, “Yeahhhh, I know you do.” Then he notices you’ve got your eye on an issue that needs handling and reaches out to pat the top of your head, “Two more hours and they all have to go home to be someone else’s responsibility. I’ll throw in some of your favorite jams.”

Ten o’clock couldn’t come soon enough but you appreciate his offer and toss out a few songs for consideration though he’s pretty familiar with your tastes. You step back down onto the floor and blow Vernon a kiss when you immediate recognzie the song he’s jumped into…just for you.

“You really are the best. Check on you in a bit, undercover lover.”

He throws up a peace sign and you cut across the floor to ask a couple of kids who were just blowing and popping bubbles to go spit out their gum as it’s clearly stated that it's not allowed on the floor. They don’t love your request and start to argue but Mingyu sneaks up behind you again and dazzles them with a smile. Just like that, the two young girls start giggling and falling all over themselves to do exactly as asked…all because the pretty guy said ‘Please’.

It’s comical, honestly.

Mingyu is smirking when he rolls along beside you, bending at the waist to peek up at your face because it’s aimed at the floor as you try to school your features. He’s so irritatingly flirtatious and you’re too quickly playing into his hand tonight. You’re usually better than this, holding out well until you’re pulling out of the parking lot.

“Oh, yeah,” he intones, “Tonight is definitely the night. You’re giving in. You can’t resist me any longer. It was bound to happen. You’re still smiling! I can see it!”

Laughing, you pull your head up and give him a look that you would have loved to be firm but it’s not in the slightest. How can you be serious when he is so not serious? “Don’t you dare,” you warn with a loose laugh tacked on at the end, “I told you, we’re not going on a date.”

Mingyu shrugs, “So, movies tomorrow night?”

“Don’t you work tomorrow?”

He bats his eyes with a saccharine smile, “I love that you know my schedule by heart,” he ignores your eye roll, “Wonu’s covering my shift since he owed me one and also because he’s a true romantic. He’s rooting for us and we can’t disappoint him.”

“Well, I suppose if it’s what Wonwoo wants…” you look up at him, eyes glittering with excitement, “When are you picking me up?”

For as calm and cool as Mingyu keeps it on the outside, he’s buzzing on the inside because he’s been toying around with the idea of taking you out forever. And he’s asked…more than once…but you’ve kept him on his toes and he’s enjoyed the playing the game but he’s elated that you’re finally saying yes.

He tries to school is face but he’s still beaming as he tries to casually say, “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Seven?” you snicker, “Isn’t that a little late to get started? You keeping me out all night?”

He just shrugs, grinning. “Maybe.”

Mingyu shows up nearly twenty minutes early and you can see his car outside your condo. He doesn’t make a move to get out and it’s amusing to watch as he nervously drums his fingers on the steering wheel for a few beats before reaching for the door like he’s going to get out, and then shaking his head before resuming the fidgeting. It’s also a relief to know he’s feeling the same jitters you are.

The thought crossed your mind to pop your head out to wave him inside but he might be giving himself a pep-talk and you’re still contemplating your outfit.

The movie theater is always so cold. You debated the pros and cons of wearing something short-sleeved because on one hand, if you’re cold it might prompt your date to keep you warm but on the other hand, if he didn’t, you’d be freezing the whole time.

You could bring a jacket, but that’s an extra thing to carry.

Digging through your closet, you pull out a fuzzy black long-sleeved sweater. You hold it out, admiring the way it’s cropped a little shorter in the front, and then turn back to the mirror, holding it up to your chest. It would look cute with the Levi’s you’re wearing…decisions, decisions.

A car horn beeps and you peer out of your window seeing Mingyu rigid behind the wheel. You laugh, thinking he probably did not mean to do it and is embarrassed at having accidentally made too much noise. That’s pretty obvious by the way he’s looking around, paranoid and frustrated. It’s actually super cute and you’re lingering by the window now just admiring him from afar without care

Until you see Mingyu cut the engine and get out of the car. Then the panic sets in because you’re still not ready and well…it’s the first time he’s seeing you outside of work and not in uniform. You want him to be wowed and are probably still taking too long to get moving considering how brisk of a stride you know his to be. He’ll be here any second.

You scramble to pull on the sweater in your hands and run into the bathroom to grab your gold hoops, fix your hair, and check your makeup one last time. Your heart is racing but you smile at your reflection. He sees you all the time at work looking not even half as done-up as you are right now and thinks you’re a solid 10, so there isn’t really any doubt he’ll be pleased. Then the doorbell rings.

A few deep breaths to calm your nerves comes first. When you open the door, Mingyu’s mouth is fixed like he had a line locked and loaded but when he sees you, he chokes on the words. He’s so flustered that he stumbles back a step, laughing at himself. “Oh, you’re not going to take it easy on me, are you?”

That lights you up from the inside out and brings your confidence back around full circle.

“Have I ever made things easy for you?” you snicker, grabbing your purse off the hook by the door, “I think you like a challenge.”

“Nah, I just like you,” he smirks, tongue poking the end of his pointed canine as he watches you close and lock the door, trying his hardest to be respectful, “You look really good. Have I said that yet?”

Stashing your keys in your purse, you turn and grin up at him. “You alluded to it but I wouldn’t mind hearing you say it out loud.”

Always playing and teasing and flirting. It’s almost too much for you both to bear at this point.

“I’ll tell you as many times as you want,” he says softly but he reaches toward you, slipping his hand just behind your hip to pull you closer with a bold, sharp tug. Startled, you bump right into Mingyu’s chest and look up at him with wide eyes. He doesn’t say anything for a minute and then tilts his head back, sighing into the sky above. He’s mostly amused when he looks back at you.

“You look incredible…and we should get in the car before I ruin the illusion of me being a gentleman.”

“That image has been splintering for a while but I don’t think I’ll mind if a manner or two slips,” you tease as you pull apart, taking the time to look him up and down…

Light-washed jeans, crisp white t-shirt, open flannel hanging off his broad shoulders…”You look really good too,” you murmur in appreciation.

He’s about to sweating straight through his shirt if you keep looking at him like that.

“...yep…time to go,” he mumbles, pinching is lips together as he grabs your hand. He pulls you toward the parking lot which isn’t far, and opens the door for you to slip into his passenger seat. He doesn’t let go until you’re settled and takes it a touch further when he reaches in and grabs the seatbelt before you. His hand purposely grazes against the exposed skin between your pants and top as he buckles you in and you let out the breath you were holding the second he closes your door.

It’s getting more difficult to play hard-to-get by the millisecond but you’re willing to give in first if your reward is Mingyu breaking down bit by bit right in front of you.

You bite your lip to keep from giggling when he quickly rounds the car and settles into his seat next to you. He’s still shaking his head, quietly laughing at himself for getting so easily worked up. He turns over the engine, shifting into drive, and peers over at you with an air of disbelief.

“I’m starting to think we’re gonna have to sit in separate rows at this rate.”

Thankfully, the tension melts into easy banter and conversation on the ride to the theater. Mingyu entertains you with stories about his family and asks after yours, specifically your beloved niece whom he loves hearing about. He lets you toy around with his radio and blare some Spice Girls song that neither of you sings along to with the correct pitch…or words. It’s a blast either way.

Bold flirtation aside, Mingyu has always been a gentleman where it counts.

When you arrive at the movie theater, he opens all the doors, holds your hand every chance he gets, pays for your tickets and snacks despite your protesting, and lets you choose where to sit. The theater isn’t very full, though the movie you both decided on has been out for a while so it’s not all that surprising to see so many open seats. There are a few people scattered here and there and you don’t particularly love sitting next to others if you can avoid it.

That leaves the very front or the very back.

You glance over your shoulder at Mingyu, patiently waiting for you to decide, “You really don’t care?”

He shakes his head again with a soft smile and you sigh looking back at the open seats, “I don’t like being super close…are you okay with sitting up top?”

Mingyu’s eyes scan the very empty top rows and widen like he hadn’t actually realized how secluded they were until just now. “Totally cool,” he manages after a moment, “Lead the way.”

“Oh boy,” you whisper to yourself, turning to make your way up the stairs. You have to focus ahead and calculate the distance of each step so you don’t screw up and trip because that would be awfully embarassing. It’s dark, cold, and quiet, and there is a huge gap between the section you’re headed toward and the next closest couple sitting in the middle.

The very last row was almost too intimidating as if it somehow was the designated spot reserved for horny, depraved teenagers, and you were mid-twenty adults…so you stopped once you hit the second to last row and cut in a few seats before deciding that sitting in the middle was also weird so you dropped into the fourth seat from the aisle and forced yourself to stay put.

PIcking a seat and sticking with it has never been so daunting before.

Mingyu doesn’t say anything at all about your choice, much to your relief. If he cracked a joke about it, you think you might just burst at the seams. He just sits down in the seat next to you folding his very large frame into the too-tight space between the armrests. You’re both quiet as the lights dim and the previews start rolling but you can still feel him wiggling and adjusting himself next to you.

Your eyes meet when he accidentally bumps your arm and you smile at the fact that he is genuinely embarrassed, for no reason at all other than unintentionally taking up extra space. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers, “I don’t remember the seats feeling this cramped.”

“It’s really okay,” you turn, tucking his elbow safely into his side as you lift the armrest between you to give him more room, “We can share.”

“Are you sure?” his eyes seek yours again in the darkness, “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

You quietly snicker at his worry when he was the one being so brazen with your proximity earlier. At the same time, you can appreciate his consideration and reassure him with a gentle smile. “I really don’t mind…the extra body heat is appreciated.”

You can feel the moment Mingyu lets the tension flow out of his body. His shoulders relax until your arms touch lightly, his legs spread a little further apart as he sinks into his seat, firm thigh now pressed to the outside of your own. He’s warm and his cologne, as usual, is so rich and alluring that you know you’re going to be fighting the urge to mold yourself to his side for the next hour and a half.

Surprisingly, the movie isn’t half bad even though it was one you chose because every other film out was either super sad or overtly romantic and neither genre felt like a good fit for a first date. ‘Black Mask’ had a decent balance of action scenes and suspense that pretty easily kept your eyes on the screen, at least for a little while, sharing sour gummy worms and a soda between the two of you.

Your attention began to wane after the third time you bumped hands with Mingyu and it was lost entirely when he decided to simply hold your hand instead. Movie plot gone in an instant.

Instead of the screen, your eyes fall to your joined hands resting in his lap. They climb up to his chest, slowly rising and falling with each measured breath. Carefully, you let them slide higher, admiring the shadows projected over his throat and jaw. Higher to admire his handsome face. Higher again, just to get a little more of him, and when you get there, you find him staring back.

Neither of you shy away this time. Mingyu nervously licks his lips and his eyes flit down to yours, only for a second, just to reassure himself that you’re both on the same wavelength even though the chemistry between you has always been pretty clear. He still hesitates before he leans closer but you’re done waiting and choose to kiss him first.

It’s soft, brief, and when you part, you can see the smile on his handsome face and it brings the butterflies in your stomach back to life all over again. He cups your cheek and pulls you back into another kiss, and then another, and another. A million times you’d thought about kissing Mingyu and this was still far better than any you’d imagined thus far.

Actually kissing him highlights the small details you were missing. The bits of it that are unique and a part of him only. It’s the way his thumb strokes against your cheek, how he tilts his face and changes his angle so fluidly that you follow him like it’s completely natural, the tender way he’s slow to let go of your bottom lip and how he kisses it afterward.

It’s certainly not your first kiss or even the first time you’ve made out with someone at the movies, but this feels entirely new. Mingyu is not some hopped up, horny kid. He takes his time with you, he’s gentle, patient. It’s not sloppy or rushed. He isn’t trying to clumsily cop a feel the whole time, though, you think you’d probably let him and that he wouldn’t fumble around at all. It feels like he knows exactly what he’s doing, even if he doesn’t.

You hope that you feel natural to him too.

He pulls back with a slow hum of appreciation and that’s good enough for you.. When your eyes meet, you’re both smiling, and Mingyu takes that as his good sign. He wraps his arm around your shoulders and tucks you into his side until he feels your body relax against his and you finish the movie just like that.

Well, you’re both looking at the screen but you’re more focused on the way he continues to kiss your hair every few minutes and he’s locked on to the feeling of your nails gently drawing a line up and down his thigh.

Eventually, the lights come on and you’re a little slow to untangle as the rest of the theater clears out. It’s entirely empty by the time either of you hit the stairs.

“Soooo,” Mingyu hums, trailing behind you half a step, “Thoughts…opinions…? On the movie, of course.”

You laugh without turning around and nod your head, “Right…the movie, yeah. Just as the trailer promised,” you focus on your feet moving a step at a time and not tripping, “Perfectly executed action sequences.”

He grins to himself, tucking his chin into his chest. “I’m glad it lived up to all the hype,” he balances his weight on one foot before taking the next step, “Nothing worse than all that anticipation ending in disappointment.”

You peer over your shoulder at him, smiling coyly, “Oh, no disappointment here. I’m sure i’ll be thinking about it for quite some time.”

He huffs out a laugh, “Are we talking about the movie or the kiss?”

“What kiss?” you smirk, quickly turning around to hurry down the rest of the steps but he’s right behind you the whole way.

Just as you whip around the corner and into the dim hallway that leads to the exit, Mingyu catches you around the waist and pins you up against the wall. You can feel his heart thudding under your palms, the thrill of excitement hardly contained in his chest as his lips crash into yours.

Disappointment is so very far from your realm of feeling at the moment. Any expectation you had, which admittedly was already pretty high, was shattered and elevated yet another level each time his tongue danced across the seam of your lips or when his hands made another pass over your body.

From the beginning, you theorized that Mingyu was more than just a smooth talker. You had him pegged as a man with follow-through and you’re simply rolling in it, knowing you were right, and now you’re experiencing it for yourself which makes things that much more gratifying.

Mingyu was a certified lover boy. Called and confirmed it.

The very best part, you think to yourself as you feel him grin against your lips, is that he’s yours…or at least, he wants to be. You don’t have to let him know he’s already won.

He’s still smiling when you slide your hands over his arms, pointedly squeezing the ample muscle there, and he finishes you off with a few final, fluttering kisses.

When your eyes meet, there is a buzz of nervous laughter and Mingyu again asks, “So, the movie or the kiss?”

Your gaze drifts back down to his mouth and your stomach twists torturously when his knowing smirk reveals a prettily pointed canine. The same that’s bitten into your bottom lip a few times already this evening. You look back up and narrow your eyes playfully, “I don’t recall any kissi-”

He leans back down, slotting his lips against yours and the second he so much as breathes the door at the end of the hall clicks open and you hear two voices, likely the staff coming to clean the theater, and here you two delinquints are still splattered against the wall playing tonsil hockey.

Mingyu freezes and your eyes are wide as saucers. “Go, go around the other way!”

You have to slip out from under his frame and drag him a few feet before his mind catches up and you’re both scrambling back across the theater to the exit on the opposite side. As quietly as you can, you peek out of the small window to make sure the coast is clear and pop the door open for you both to come tumbling out.

The wide corridor outside the theater is mercifully empty but the adrenaline in your bodies’ leaves you jogging toward the side exit, laughter bubbling up and out into the open space around you. It’s all so silly and exhilarating, and when Mingyu grabs your hand, pulling you through the doors out into that warm summer air, you’re sure you can’t remember the last time you’ve felt so…alive.

Or maybe there is just something about the moon and stars, and the way their enchanting glow seems to make everything in their wake just a little more beautiful. He’s one of those things - bright, beautiful, feathered and soft around the edges.

You’ve stopped to catch your breath but it remains trapped in your chest the longer you look at him. It’s suddenly a little heavy, this crush of yours, weighed down by impression of his hands on your hips, your face, the small of your back. Flirting and teasing was easy. Agreeing to finally go out with him was easy. Realizing the potential for more was real and standing in front of you was a shock to your system because you’re uncovering very quickly how much you want that with him.

“We should definitely go to dairy queen.”

It takes a minute to process his words and then with a little shake, you lift your head to find Mingyu smiling back down at you. “Feels like the movie might have left you with a lot to think about and nothing helps me sort through my head quite like ice cream.”

You cock your head to the side, the tension in your chest evaporating just like that.

“Have you always this charming?”

“When I put in the extra effort, which is only for you, sure,” he chuckles, using your joined hands to pull you a little closer as you walk alongside eachother through the parking lot, “I’m not everyone’s cup of tea though.”

“I don’t believe that for a second,” you scoff, bumping into his arm with your shoulder, “Everyone loves you. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes.”

His tongue pokes into his cheek, rolling his eyes skyward, “You missed the guy I had to escort out of the rink a couple weeks ago who took a few swings at me in the parking lot. Pretty sure he was not enthralled by my dazzling smile and strapping good looks.”

“One person…that’s all you got?”

Reaching his car, Mingyu opens the passenger door for you and waits until you’re seated and looking up at him expectantly. He licks his lips and smirks, “Buckle up, you’re in for a ride.”

After grabbing ice cream, you decided making your date drive over to the shore was favorable to sitting on the sticky red tables outside the DQ, so instead, you’re sitting side by side on a small gym towel he miraculously had in his trunk, eating your deserts and swapping stories to the tune of the gentle waves crashing ashore.

So far, you’ve learned that the sole reason Mingyu got into hockey in the first place was because he was in constant trouble as a kid…in school, at home, or literally anywhere else he happened to be. His poor mother tried to put him in every sport and hobby she could think of to keep him busy and out of trouble but baseball wasn’t a fit, basketball ended in another fist fight and suspension, football benched a few and landed one kid in the hospital, and any form of martial arts was out of the question.

Finally, she found an ad in the newspaper for boy’s hockey team tryouts and the rest was history. You can clearly hear the admiration in his voice when he spoke about his original coach and his teammates. How it was touch and go from the start but no matter how much hot water he found himself in, they wouldn’t quit on him. When he realized that, he started pouring all of his pent up energy into the game and it changed him in all the best ways. It’s the whole reason he coaches today…to be someone who can make a positive change in a kid’s life the way his coach did for him.

Honestly, it’s hard to imagine Mingyu as anything other than the kind, gentle, playful guy you know him to be but everyone grows and changes. He still has a wild sort of glint in his eyes at times that lead you to believe every word he’s said about his younger years.

The sea breeze is crisp and almost a little chilly despite the warm air it mixes with so you push a little closer into Mingyu’s side and he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Cold?”

“A bit,” you roll your head toward him, resting it against the crook of his shoulder, “Kinda just wanted to be close to you again…despite your delinquent past, I think I like you a little.”

“A little?” he smirks, eyes darting to your mouth briefly, “I think you like me a lot.”

Scrunching your nose, you make a face at him and he tosses his head back and laughs.

“If you don’t admit it soon I’m going to have to make a huge, probably embarrassing, for you, romantic gesture,” he counters, looking very half-serious, “A big old fashioned declaration of love…in public…loudly.”

“You’re still a little shit, aren’t you?”

“Don’t pretend you aren’t loving the reformed bad boy thing.” He’s spot on because Mingyu is the exact kind of guy you would have had a crush on back then too.

You let out a long sigh and pick your head up, leaning to the side to bury your now-empty cup in the sand so it doesn’t blow away just like Mingyu had on his side. In the process, Mingyu slips his arm a little lower on your back, his hand curled around your hip to keep you balanced. You love every single point of contact so you fall right back into his side when you sit up again.

“To be fair, I think you’re only partly reformed,” more smirking, “Mhm, that’s exactly what I mean,” you hum in amusement, “Listen, I’ll give in…just a little…and admit that there are a lot of things I love about you..”

“I’m listening,” he purrs, ready for the boost in confidence you’re surely about to give him. Anything that could even vaguely resemble a compliment would send him over the moon coming from you.

“I love the way…you genuinely enjoy helping people,” you start quietly, soothing the subtle nerves beginning to tingle in your fingertips, “I love that you put so much time and effort into coaching your kids and how much you love talking about them…how you’ll roll your eyes and shake your head telling me stories about them and yet you always finish with a smile because ‘they’re a handful but they’re good kids’”

Mingyu snorts softly and you knowingly ask, “There’s lots of little Mingyu’s on your team, aren’t there?”

He nods slowly, pushing the tip of his tongue against his teeth. “Ohhh yeahhh,” he breathes out with a light chuckle, “I understand now why my coach made me run drills until I dropped. I’ve got a couple that have already outshined my reputation at their age and some days it’s a battle of wills but they’ve come along way,” he ducks his head, grinning, “Hoping they’re the extent of my karma and it doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass when I have kids one day.”

He makes a face right after he says it and looks down at you almost apologetically, “Was that weird to say on a first date? I feel like that’s something you’re supposed to avoid but you’re easy to talk to and words just fall out of my mouth sometimes.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” you laugh, quirking an eyebrow at him, “I know it’s a first date but we’re not strangers, besides, I’ve always just assumed you were a family kind of guy. You talk about yours all the time, super close with your little sister, and from all i’ve witnessed, you’re just kinda great with kids in general,” you shrug, easing his worry, “I promise, it’s not a shock to me that you’d want your own and I’ll save you the torture of wondering whether to ask or not…yes, I’d like to have kids someday. Someday farrrrr away in the future.”

“Oh, good,” he chuckles, “Me too...lightyears away.”

It’s not on either of your radars currently but it’s nice to know that you have common goals for the future. It leaves a brief pause in the conversation, though not an uncomfortable one. Just a quiet moment to soak things in.

First date, first kiss(es), and it’s all going…perfectly.

It’s one thing to flirt and banter with a cute co-worker but taking the leap and going on a date together is a whole different game. There are very real feelings on both sides of the court and the potential for something real and permanent is so palpable you can feel it pushing you closer to one another. Leap again. Put yourself out there and trust the other will catch you.

Mingyu breaks the silence first and you feel his fingers twitch against your back.

“I really like you,” he says steadily, like that was the easy part, “I think you’re beautiful inside and out, stop laughing i’m being serious,” he grins and you try to reel it in for his sake, “My first day on the job I was blatantly called out and laughed at by Wonwoo after he caught me spacing out and staring at you for the third time…I don’t think I even made it an hour into my shift before I was hooked.”

“Oh, I thought you were being serious?” you grin.

“Shhhh,” he counters, “I’m not done.”

“Where was I? Oh yeah…you’re a good friend and a good person, and I like having you in my life,” he says softly, picking up your hand and pulling it into his lap, “I want to bring you home to meet my family so my mom can drag out the photo albums the way she’s always joked about doing while my sister spends the whole time telling you embarrassing things about me. They would like like you a lot. The boys on my team already like you.”

“Oh?”

He laughs, “Oh yeah, they’re always in my business and I made the mistake of bringing you up at a practice once so you’re a regular topic of discussion. I should have known I was doomed from then on and they’re brutal sometimes. One kid called me a loser because he’s fourteen and has a girlfriend and I don’t.”

“Is that how you’re asking me out? Trying to get the sympathy vote because you’re getting picked on by a bunch of kids?” you smirk.

“Maybe…is it working?” he asks, gaze dipping to your mouth for the millionth time tonight.

“I don’t know yet,” you inch a little closer, “Maybe you should try softening me up a little more before you ask again.”

He pauses, hovering just a breadth away from your face and his open mouth pulls into a sly grin, “By any means necessary?”

“Do what you have to do I suppos-”

“Niiccceee hickey.”

You slap a hand over the mark you swore you’d covered well enough with concealor, apparently not, and whip your head in Vernon’s direction. “Can you not announce it loud enough for everyone to hear?”

Vernon glances side to side. “There is literally no one except us in here and that thing announced itself.”

“What thing?”

Wonwoo comes in and drops his bag on the wooden bench, pulling out his uniform top to shrug over his shoulders. His glasses sit askew on his face and you really hope he’s got good insurance because they’re always in awful shape.

You turn and press your forehead against the cool metal of your locker door and Vernon chuckles, stowing his things noisely. “The physical evidence to prove that her date went abundantly well.”

Wonwoo smirks, walking closer to pry your hand away from your neck. He whistles. “Damn, Mingyu’s a biter…not surprised. Good luck hiding that thing - it’s going to be with you for a while.”

“Ok. Hickey expert. Thanks for your input,” you grumble.

He shrugs. “We all have interests and hobbies, and you’re welcome.”

You roll your eyes and turn around, leaning back against your locker with a pout. “I’m kinda nervous that we’re working together tonight for the first time since we went out. Do you think it will be weird?”

Vernon makes a goofy face. “Why would it be weird? I thought you said everything went well and you’re like, dating now? Did something happen?”

“No, everything was great,” you slump down a little further, “Like…too great. I’m trying not to jinx things or be weird. Are we too old to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend? Is that a thing for adults? Or did we grow out of that after high school?”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, fixing the notch on his belt, “No, we’re not too old for that. He’s your boyfriend. You’re his girlfriend. Simple.”

“Is it?” you reply with a unintentional snap that doesn’t phase either of them.

Vernon sits on the bench in front of you and stretches his back out, groaning like an old man. “Yes, simple. You like him and he likes you, and you have fun together. I fail to see the problem.”

“Yeah, that’s like, the opposite of a problem,” Wonwoo agrees, “Besides…being left alone in the rink after hours sounds mighty convenient if you ask me.”

Snapping your jaw shut, your eyes widen, “What exactly are you suggesting?”

Wonwoo smirks, “I’m not suggesting anything but an opportunist would use their imagination.”

Both you and Vernon peg Wonwoo with a suspicious stare.

“With all due respect,” you say slowly, your eyebrow steadily raising with each word, “I didn’t think you rolled like that.”

“Neither did I,” Vernon adds, equally intrigued.

“You’re kind of a freak, aren’t you?”

“Who’s a freak?”

All three of you startle and whirl around to see Mingyu coming through the door. His hair is wet, likely freshly showered after hockey practice, and he’s looking at each of you with a clueless grin.

“Nothing and no one!” you reply with a grin, already floating toward the hunk in the doorway, “Hi.”

“Hi,” he grins down at you, “I see you and I got stuck closing tonight.”

You swallow down the knot in your throat and hold up a middle finger behind your back directed at Vernon and Wonwoo’s snickering.

“Yep,” you bounce on your toes, “Just you and I…closing everything down…together…tonight.”

Mingyu’s lips pinch together to hold in a laugh. You were always so bold and confident when it came to teasing him and now, he can tell you’re having to make a great effort to hold it all together. “I’m sure we’ll find a way to make it fun,” he chooses, satisfied when your eyes widen just a touch, “I think Jim’s looking for you by the way. If you’re done getting-”

“Yes,” you squeeze his arms and then move past him at lightening speed, rushing out the door.

Mingyu just stands there and laughs quietly before looking up to see the grin on Vernon and Wonwoo’s faces. “Alright, how much did she tell you?”

“Didn’t have to tell us much at all.”

Wonwoo shakes his head. “The bite marks you left told us everything we needed to know.”

Mingyu’s eyes drop to the floor as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. He’s glad the ones you left on him are covered by his collar because he just barely got away with blaming it on equipment mishandling when one of the older boys in his youth league pointed one out with a mischievous laugh.

Vernon claps a hand over his shoulder on his way out the door causing Mingyu to look back up again. “Happy for you, dude. She’s a good one.”

Mingyu smiles softly, “Thanks, man.”

When he leaves, Mingyu pushes further into the room and starts getting himself situated, glancing over at Wonwoo every now and then like he’s waiting for him to say something.

“I can feel you staring,” Wonwoo mumbles, eyes now glued to his Game Boy Pocket as he tries to save his progress from earlier.

Mingyu shrugs his shoulders up to his ears, pushing his bag into his locker.

Wonwoo puts his game down and looks up. “Whaddaya want, Hot Wheels?”

He pauses, making a face at the nickname, and then carefully asks, “On a scale of one to ten, how bad of an idea is it for me to-”

“Make a move tonight?”

Mingyu’s mouth pops open. “Oh,” he blinks, “You read minds too?”

Wonwoo sighs and leans back a touch, both hands gripping the edge of the bench beneath him. “To be fair, that’s exactly what I’d be thinking about if I were in your position. Empty building…gorgeous girlfriend…”

Mingyu scoffs, “Alright, easy…”

He gets a smirk in return and Wonwoo stands, stretching his long limbs. “I’m not wrong and also not interested in your girl so relax,” he leans down and tugs on the laces of his skates and then straightens out, “You both think too much. Just be normal. Do the same lovey dovey, flirty shit you always do and see how the night goes.”

“You’re kind of good at this,” Mingyu compliments, his lips pulling into a half-smirk, “What do you get up to when you’re off the clock and not playing big brother of the year?”

Nearing the door, Wonwoo just turns over his shoulder and tosses Mingyu a wink.

He’s handed out enough advice for one night.

You were still jittery when Mingyu joined you out on the floor but falling into the same routine was pretty simple, just like Vernon and Wonwoo said, and it took loads of anxious tension off your shoulders. If anything, Mingyu was more playful with his teasing and a little more bold with his physical affection when others weren’t paying attention.

It was like a game of how flustered he could make you without getting in trouble for fooling around on the job. The floor was crowded which simply meant he got to stay a little closer to you without looking suspicious which allowed him to find out how fun it was to pull you around by the belt loops of your pants.

He loved the little noise of surprise you let out every time he snuck up behind you, hooking his finger through the loop to tug you back against his chest where he pretended to tell you something important. Like he was just trying to talk to you over the sound of the music when he had nothing but more teasing to whisper in your ear.

The hours flew by unnoticed and before long, you were bidding your last goodbyes to the rest of the staff having finished their own cleaning and closing duties.

Mingyu went into the office to toy with the audio system after you asked to throw something on just so it wasn’t silent in the big dark building while you followed Vernon and Wonwoo to the doors to lock up after them.

Vernon shifts his bag on his shoulder and cuts a sideways glance in your direction. “You gonna be okay?”

You shrug, touched and confused he’d asked. “Yeah, I’ve closed up a million times. All good.”

Wonwoo pats the top of your head like a puppy. They both have a habit of that.

“He meant, are you gonna be okay here alone with Mingyu? Are you comfortable with us leaving - not that I think he’d ever do something to hurt or upset you…I’d kill him and he knows it…but you give us the word and we’ll stay.”

“Oh,” you blink and wave your hands dismissively, “No, we’re good! I was just worried about being a loser earlier but we’re totally fine!”

“We thought so,” Vernon grins, pushing the glass door open, “Just checking.”

It’s sweet and embarrassing that they’d thought to ask and you tell them as much as you gently push Vernon through the doorway. “Thought for a minute you were finally ready to confess,” you joke, fake pout on your lips and all, “I’ll drop him like a hot potato if you ask, Nonnie.”

Wonwoo follows him out and laughs, “You’re full of shit but I’m sure he appreciates the sentiment. By the way, if you find yourself in need…Jihoon keeps condoms in his locker.”

You slap a hand over your mouth, covering your shocked laughter. “First of all, mind your business and second, what the hell?!”

Vernon shrugs, “Man likes to be prepared I guess!”

….Line cooks are one of a kind. Truly.

You’re shaking your head as they wave goodbye and walk off toward Wonwoo’s car as it must have been his turn to carpool. Pulling the doors shut, you carefully lock each one and double check them before turning on your heel and then the music cuts on over the speakers. It’s not crazy loud but enough to keep the odd sounds that accompany a big old building from rattling in your ears.

Mingyu pops his head out of the office when you round the corner and you cock your head in question, “Beastie Boys?”

“Couldn’t get the discs to work so radio it is,” he shrugs, “I can find something else if you want.”

You shake your head, brushing past his shoulder into the small office to sit down and reconcile the financials for the night. “I’m not picky. Did you already grab the bags from the registers?”

He nods, “Yep, everything’s there and Jim left the keys for the safe in the desk,” Mingyu squeezes your shoulders when you sit down and you smile up at him. “I’m going to knock out the kitchen and rental walk-throughs while you count if that’s okay? After that we will just have shut down the arcade and I can take out the left over trash bags.”

“That would be amazing,” you tell him, head still cushioned against the office chair as you smile lazily up at him, “I just love a man that knows how to take charge and get the job done.”

He immediately chokes out a laugh and turns on his heel muttering something about how ‘he’s not going to get anything done if you keep that up’ as he walks away.

It takes another full minute to bring the task at hand back into focus and you have to consciously fight off the intrusive inappropriate thoughts clouding your brain when it’s supposed to be crunching numbers. You even have to recount a few bags because the image of Mingyu sitting you on the desk you’re working at to do dirty things with you keeps popping into your head and it’s getting harder and harder to focus. After probably twice the amount of time it usually takes you to do the financials, you’re finally done and locking the safe when Mingyu returns.

“Oh, hey,” you perk up when you notice him in the doorway, “Ready to go do the arcade?”

“Already done,” he snickers, “I came back after walk-throughs and caught you cursing and restarting your counts so I just went ahead and finished up the list.”

“Oh!” you shift on your feet, “...guess we’re all done then.”

Mingyu crosses his arms, leaning against the door frame looking extra swoon-worthy. Not a single poster of your favorite 80s and 90s heartthrobs plastered to the walls of your old bedroom held a candle to the picture in front of you and he knows it.

“You sound disappointed. I’m sure we could find other things to do if you wanna stay a little longer,” his eyes shift over to the audio system, still playing a mix of alternative and pop hits, and fixes his eyes back on you, “Ever considered making out with someone in an empty skating rink with No Doubt playing over the speakers?”

“Can’t say I have. What about you?”

Mingyu grins, shifting his weight to tower over you, “Thought just now crossed my mind.”

He slides one hand beneath your jaw and the other over your hip, slotting his lips against yours as he walks you back until you bump into the desk behind you. After teasing you with your belt loops all night, you decide to return the favor, licking at the seam of his lips as you hook your fingers in his front loops and pull him closer. He laughs against your lips and pulls back to meet your eyes. “That’s my move.”

“I liked it, so I think I’ll steal it,” you smirk, tugging at the loops still.

“We should probably get our things and head out before I do something stupid and incredibly irresponsible,” he chuckles though there is a very real edge to his tone like he’s trying hard to behave himself right now.

“What kind of stupid and irresponsible things?” you test him, releasing his belt loops to hook your index finger into the waist band of his pants instead, “I might be interested.”

The hand on your hip squeezes and he bites out a laugh. “Who’s the delinquent now?”

“Still you, but I recounted those bags because I kept getting interrupted by steamy office fantasies popping into my head so if you’d rather take me home before we make questionable decisions, we should probably leave now.”

He groans, torn between having to wait or giving in and having you right here, right now. The cons would be that it’s A.) your work place, B.) it’s not the cleanest place to hook up, and C.) he has to wait when his body is begging him otherwise.

As luck has it, you decide for him.

“Can we go to your place? My roommate is home tonight and she’s got hard rules against hooking up when the other is home. She doesn’t even really like when I have friends over but her name is on the lease so I don’t argue much.”

Mingyu shuts off his internal debate processing, grateful to have you choose for the both of you. “My roommates work the late shift at the bar on 89th so they will probably come home at some point but they don’t care about guests…or girlfriends. We respect that rule in regards to privacy.”

“Ugh,” you rolls your eyes, relaxing in his hold, “That must be so nice. Got an extra room at your place?”

“Got plenty of space for you in mine,” he smirks, “Alright let me grab our bags from the locker room and we’ll get out of here. Did you drive?”

You shake your head, moving to turn off the audio system, “No, I took the bus today.”

“Sweet, we’ll take my car home and won’t have to worry about leaving yours.”

It’s funny how you’re both being so casual at the moment as if you weren’t pinned up against the desk, debating whether you should desecrate the business office, and now you’re both going about your normal routines as if you didn’t just agree that you’re leaving to go directly to his place to hook up for the first time.

It catches up with you when Mingyu pulls up to the front of his shared beach house and cuts the engine. You look at the light blue house and catch the subtle sounds of the ocean not far off. “I had no idea you lived on the island,” you share as you get out of the car and walk together toward the door.

Mingyu hands you the key and takes your bag so you can open the door. “Yeah, we’ve been here about a year now. Used to share a condo a little further in but we spend a lot of time at the beaches here so when this place opened up we snagged it as quick as we could.”

Pushing inside, it’s exactly what you imagine a triad of bachelors to live in. Everything is clean but the couch is a futon, there are two cd towers filled with music you’d love to check out, a few bean bag chairs, a stereo system big enough to take up half a wall, and theres a couple of empty corona bottles spread on the low table in the living room next to a few gaming controllers.

Mingyu groans when he sees them and glances over apologetically. “I definitely asked them to clean those up when I left this morning. You’d think a couple of bartenders would know how to recycle empty beer bottles. I swear we have manners.”

You laugh and follow him to what you assume is his bedroom down the hall. He opens the door and drops both bags next to his dresser before flicking on a lamp. “Wasn’t expecting to bring you back here so I am glad my cleaning habits are something of use,” he pulls open a drawer and grabs a random t-shirt before handing it to you, “Here, you can wear this if you want and I’ll show you where the bathroom is…I just uhhh..I thought maybe you’d be more comfortable changing out of your uniform.”

You raise a brow at him, “What? My Dickies and pinstrip ref polo aren’t sexy enough for you?”

He smirks back, “Anything you wear is sexy enough for me but the sex and dating column in Cosmopolitan’s spring magazine says a woman’s comfort comes before all else and is the key to a healthy, thriving relationship.”

“You read Cosmo?”

He shrugs, “Had to pick my mom and sister up at the hair salon and got there on time which was apparently thirty minutes early. There was nothing else to do.”

“Learn anything else?” you ask just before he leaves you at the bathroom door.

Mingyu tugs the frosty bleached tips of his hair. “Learned six new ways to accesorize with butterfly clips and that my horoscope for last month was only half correct,” he grins, “Let me know if you need anything, babe, i’m gonna use the other bathroom to clean up.”

You mumble back an OK and shut the door, bumping into the counter. “Babe?” you repeat quietly, looking at yourself in the mirror.

The reality of you having a super-hot-hockey-player boyfriend who is also insanely sweet and volunteers his free time to coach a youth league, and is an amazing kisser, and the kind of guy that calls you babe, crashes into you completely and you’re scrambling to clean yourself up, change, steal some mouthwash, and give yourself a full pep talk before you emerge god knows how long later.

Following the same path back to Mingyu’s room, you pause at the door and take a deep breath before re-entering his space.

He’s laying in his bed tossing a small blue ball up and down with one hand while he waits. You’re pleased to see that he decided not to put a shirt on, lounging only in a pair of basketball shorts, because you also decided to ditch half your clothing. The opposite half.

The ball lands in his palm with an audible smack and he looks up when you step into his room, closing the door behind you.

“Wait right there,” he throws out a hand as you take a step closer and you hesitate, “I just want to burn this image into my memory for all of eternity.”

Rolling your eyes with a soft laugh, you walk the rest of the way over to Mingyu who reaches for your hand and pulls you up onto his bed to straddle his lap comfortably. His hands move up and down your thighs and he’s smiling at you all the while. “You’re so beautiful,” he sighs and then shakes his head when you try to brush him off. “Genuinely. I’m not just saying that to get in your pants. You’re not even wearing pants to get into.”

He’s amusing and captivating when he’s like this, hands exploring every inch of exposed skin, chest pressed against yours, his face turned up as he looks at you with that white-hot gaze. It further drives your need to touch and feel him so you wrap your arms around his shoulders loosely, letting your fingers dance over the muscle in his back.

Mingyu’s eyes flutter closed, only for a moment as your nails trail over his spine, and you smile to yourself, overjoyed with the feeling of his body beneath yours.

“This feels a little surreal,” you speak quietly and he hums in response, setting his eyes back on your face, “I mean…”

“Ahhhhhh,” he grins, lacing his fingers together where his hands rest on your lower back, kept warm under your shirt, “Because you’ve been dreaming about me every night since we met?”

“Something like that,” you sigh and Mingyu shuts up, not expecting you to give in so easily. You pinch the hair at the nape of his neck tugging it nervously, “You should probably kiss me before I say something even more embarrassing.”

Mingyu chuckles and his eyes dip to your mouth. He captures your lips easily, moving his hands against the planes of your back as he kisses you until your mind clouds over.

His hair is soft between your fingers, the silly frosted ends tickling your skin when you give a little experimental tug. Wonwoo teased him endlessly for falling for the fad but you had to admit you liked it on him.

You’d probably like anything on him though. Besides, it wasn’t long before Wonwoo broke down and tried it too albeit a bit more subtle and less Backstreet Boys.

Mingyu braces his forearm behind your hips and tugs. His skin is hot and he keeps you still against him, not like you plan on shifting away, but the need to be touched, held…anchored to him is met without needing to ask. It feeds into your confidence allowing you to move more freely, rolling your hips, arching your back until your chest is pushing into his and he just can’t stand the fabric in the middle.

The shirt he’d given you doesn’t even fully hit the ground before his arms are wrapped around your body again and he buries his face in the crook of your neck, lips trailing over your throat, shoulders, collar bones. Whatever he can reach without letting go.

A sharp gasp hits the air when his tongue dips to the base of your throat and he closes his lips over that same spot with a kiss. Thighs trembling, you hope he doesn’t comment on the pathetic way your cunt squeezes around nothing. He says nothing though. Instead, he groans deep in his chest and his hands tighten possesively.

Then he does it again, and again. He encourages your real, raw reactions, full intending to pull them from you until you let go of whatever mental block is keeping you from letting him know exactly how much you love the way he makes you feel.

Pretty soon he succeeds and you’re no longer trying to hold yourself together, holding your breath, or trying to be quiet.

Mingyu drags his teeth along your collarbones and grins at the soft hum you let out, so at odds with the way your body jumps at the sharp sensation.

“You like that, huh?”

It take an extra few seconds to process his words, brain near mush from his attention.

“So you do like it,” Mingyu laughs, pecking a small kiss to your shoulder, “What else do you like?”

You’ve only just now formed a response to his first question and now he’s asking another and he’s smirking. It’s almost like he’s doing it on purpose…

Your mouth pops open to say something, what that might have been, you’ll never know because at the same time, Mingyu leans back a little and drags your hips over his, grinding his erection against your sensitive cunt. “You like that?”

At this point, you give up on words and just nod your head fervently. Yes, I fucking like that.

His hands ghost up your sides until his thumbs are brushing against your breasts. He pauses, testing the water before diving in, and he catches the hitch in your breath. The way your head drops back just a touch like all this is making you a little dizzy. He leans forward and presses a kiss against your sternum before falling back against the pillows to take in the full picture.

You, perched in his lap with your back arched, pushing your aching breasts into his hands to play with. It’s the exact shit he’s fallen victim to in a wet dream but this is real and far better because here you are, in the flesh, gripping onto his wrists and rocking your hips against him for an inkling of relief from how much he’s turned you on.

It’s wearing his patience down and is going to bite him in the ass if he doesn’t move things along. He prematurely finished one time and it still haunted him at night. Never again.

Hopefully.

Mingyu makes a miraculous maneuver, with you landing on your back at his side, somehow, without twisting or pinning someone’s limb in the process.

“That was very smooth.”

You’re staring back up at him in wonder, partly because you’re not used to being tossed around like that, but also because he’s looking down at you with a serious, heated expression and it’s making your heart beat a little too fast.

“Can I touch you?” he askes softly and you’re immediately nodding. “Yeah?” he mimics the motion in a daze, eyes glued to your mouth, “Come here.”

Easy. You kiss him, well, it’s pretty equal efforts but you get to him first, too impatient to wait even half a second more. His hand moves over your hip slowly, then shifts to brush against your naval where he rests it for a moment, heat from his skin seeping into yours.

He’s planning on making good on his request, though you beat him to it again.

Mingyu parts his lips with a sigh when he feels your hand slide over his. Your fingers curl around his palm and you guide his hand lower. He asked to touch you and then made you wait - whether it be on purpose or just his own nerves - you’ll help him help you.

He doesn’t seem to mind and rewards you instantly with his thick fingers rubbing against your cunt through your panties. Your mouth falls open with a soft moan and his brows knit together right as the sound hits his ears. His gaze is unwavering and you almost wish he would just kiss you again instead of studying your face this closely…then his middle finger presses down a little harder and the sound you let out that time makes the corner of his mouth turn up into a half-smirk.

It doesn’t even slip away when he leans down and kisses you, his smirk still obviously tugging at his lips when they touch yours. His hand pushes inside your underwear and he groans into your mouth when he feels how wet and warm you are but he doesn’t have time to waste or savor the feeling because he needs you to cum on his fingers at least once before he fucks you and his will to wait it out is all but gone.

You’re responsive to every stroke, gasping and whimpering, digging your nails into his arm. Your back arches up off the bed every time he pumps his fingers faster, rubbing them up against your g-spot with expert ease because, hell yeah he reads cosmo, he’s too fucking good at it to not have been guided by the devine-feminine mind.

Mingyu’s mouth envelopes one of your nipples and his tongue rolls against it at almost the same pace and pattern he’s rubbing your own slick into your clit and that’s enough to send you over the edge. He tries to be patient, to let you come down before he goes reaching for a condom but he catches the time on his digital alarm clock, the numbers glaring at him in bright red.

It was already past midnight meaning having the house to himself is ending relatively soon.

You don’t need the extra recovery time though, in fact, it’s the opposite. What you need is more and you need it now. “Mingyu…” he hums in response and you will your mouth to work again, “Do you even play basketball?”

He huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. Poking your tongue in your cheek you nod and point to his shorts, “...Off.”

Mingyu grins as he leans down and kisses you before rolling out of bed and your lips turn up into a smile, a breathless laugh floating up into the air. He drops his shorts and steps out in white Calvin Kleins stretched taut over his golden thighs, showing off every inch of his assets, and you have to prop yourself up on your elbows to even get the full picture.

Move over Marky Mark.

You’re too busy staring at Mingyu’s body to notice him taking the opportunity to appreciate yours. It’s just a brief moment to sate both your curiosities because though neither of you would prefer to admit it, you’ve thought about each other naked and probably more than once. Getting handsy on your date gave you a bit of an idea but the overwhelmingly obvious dick print staring you in the face at the moment confirms your indecent theory about what Mingyu might be packing…

And that has got to be the ‘Pony’ Ginuwine was singing about.

When your eyes meet somewhere in the middle, you both turn away quickly, embarrassed only slightly for getting caught. It was a good feeling to know that the attraction is mutual. You hear a drawer close softly and feel the dip in the bed when he slides under the covers next to you. Rolling over, you land almost nose to nose and Mingyu grins, “I like it when you check me out.”

You answer him with a kiss that starts out innocently enough but it’s such a dizzying sensation to be so wrapped up in him that whatever witty retort you had been thinking of is lost in the way his fingers squeeze into your side. He sighs against your lips when he drags you closer and your thigh settles high on his hip, wrapping your body around him tightly. Without thought or hesitation, he drives his pelvis forward, rubbing his erection into your sensitive cunt.

It makes you break for air, drawing too much of it into your lungs just to sharply moan through the exhale when he doesn’t stop. The muscles in his arms are so taut beneath your fingers that you know he’s not doing it to tease you - he’s at his breaking point and really just can’t help himself.

One hand slides down and pushes against the waistband of his briefs, rolling the material down as best you can until it catches his attention so his can finish the job himself. He groans, mostly to acknowledge your intentions, but also because he’s slowly trying to reel himself back for a moment. Just long enough to peel the last bits of clothing off you both and get a rubber on. It’s probably one of the most ridiculously inconvenient things he’s been made to do in a long time.

Neither of you say a word as he rips open the foil, trying to keep his hands still enough to roll the condom on correctly. It feels like static in his veins, trying to sit still when everything inside his body is screaming go, go, go! You can feel it too, the buzz of anticipation, the pulse between your thighs.

Then, there is a pause after he rolls back over, covering your bare body with his own, and he just looks at you for a moment, mouth tight. Your hands slide over his arms, up his shoulders, and settle on his face. “Everything ok?”

“Just wanna do this right,” he whispers back, turning his face to kiss the palm of your hand.

The corners of your lips lift in a small smile. “Feels pretty right to me, if that helps.”

The tension in his shoulders melts away and he relaxes his pinched brows. “It does help,” he says, one big hand stroking the outside of your thigh around his waist, “Just…talk to me if there is anything you want or don’t like.”

“I will,” you reassure him and he eyes you wearily one more time until you sigh, “I promise.”

That seems to be enough for him as he shifts between your legs and you let your hands fold over his shoulders, trying hopelessly to relax your body when you feel his fingers on you again. He doesn’t keep them there long, just enough to make sure you’re still wet before he’s gripping his cock, guiding himself into your heat.

The pressure is immense and Mingyu feels you tense up beneath him. He pulls his other arm up and shifts his weight over to one side, grabbing your face with his free hand. “Breathe,” he says quietly, tipping your face up to look at him, “Just breathe, baby.”

Easier said than done but you exhale shakily and his thumb brushes against your cheek. Mingyu draws his hips back slightly and pushes further in, eyes falling to your mouth when it pops open. The feeling of fullness is all encompassing and all you can think about. So full you might burst at the seams but again, you will yourself to relax and he finally, finally bottoms out.

You let out a sharp breath and just can’t seem to catch it.

Mingyu seems unsure of whether he should move or not and he barely gets the question out before you’re nodding. The first few thrusts are still tender and he’s still mindful of that but after a minute or so, the tides turn and you’re digging your heels into his backside, pulling him deeper.

Mentally, emotionally, physically deeper.

He’s a romantic through and through, including in times like this where he’s drunk on pussy and pure infatuation. He can’t get enough. The way you feel around him, clinging to his body, hands against his chest, eyes glued to his. He’s in severely dangerous territory and clamps his lips shut until the words sitting there fizzle out. Patience is what he needs. In his mind and in his heart.

His body is on an entirely different page.

Mingyu is smooth and consistent in his movements, like water in and around you. His name spills from your lips reverently, whispered into the air between you and it feeds him, pushes him to fufill your needs in a way you knew deep down he would. He’s a pleaser in every way.

So, when you slow him down with your palms firmly planted against his chest, he stops and listens. His attentiveness almost makes it harder to speak.

“Can I uh…like would you mind if I…laid on my stomach?” you ask unevenly, not really sure why you’re hesitating to share what you want when that is what he’s asked of you.

Mingyu looks like he’s died and gone to heaven. He doesn’t even answer. Carefully, he pulls out and moves so he can roll you over, prop your hips up, and fill you right back up. This time there is no slow start. His hand settles on your back, just between your shoulder blades, and he holds you there, pinning you in place in such a way that your eyes close on contact. Perfectly content to stay put.

The room is filled with lewd noises. Skin slapping against skin. Deep grunting and moaning sounds mixed together. Your muffled voice chanting his name over and over again. Mingyu’s quiet praises tickling your ears when your head turns fuzzy.

It’s a good thing no one is home because it’s almost embarrassing how loudly passionate you both are. You regret not asking Mingyu to turn on the radio to drown out the noise but it’s too late now and with another tug upwards on your hips, he’s stroking your walls just right and you hit an entirely new set of notes.

Mingyu can feel you squeezing around him, mewling into his pillows and he’s hanging on for dear life because you’re still skirting around the edge and he’s seconds from toppling over. An idea pops into his head, a catch twenty-two really because in doing this, he puts himself at further risk of finishing first but it’s still too enticing to pass up.

Somehow, he manages to roll your bodies together until he hits the mattress, successfully claiming his spot as your big spoon. He hooks his left arm under your head so that it’s rested on his bicep while his hand is free to roam your chest and his right arm snakes over your hip before you feel his middle and ring finger slip between your folds.

With you tightly wound up in his hold he picks up a brutal, finishing pace. He hits all the right spots and works your body until you’re seeing stars. Your breathing now harsh and uneven limits your ability to speak but you don’t need to say anything at all.

Mingyu knows your coming and he’s going right along with you. When your orgasm hits, you bear down against him, crying out in broken sounds as he pumps his hips through his own release. He continues to hold you against his chest, gently kneading at the fleshy part of your hip.

He presses kisses against your hair and then carefully, he pulls out before rolling you onto your back. Mingyu’s smile is adoring and beautiful, it makes you want to bury your face in the pillows again. The blanket will have to do.

“Why are you hiding?” Mingyu chuckles, grabbing at the blanket, “Was it that bad?”

You flip the sheet down and give him a blank stare.

“Shut up,” you bite, a hint of a smile appearing, “You know it was good. Better than good.”

“How good?” he smirks.

With an eye roll, you pull the blanket up just high enough to cover the lower half of your face. “Really fucking good…and you’re not even slightly winded.”

He’s on top of the world.

“My stamina is just another one of my many desirable qualities,” he half-shrugs, “If you’re still not in love with me, I’m happy to keep trying.”

“Will you stop when I do?”

“Not a chance,” he grins, one hand squeezing your thigh as he swoops in to steal another kiss, “Stay with me tonight. I’ll make you anything you want for breakfast”

You pretend to think about it when you know you’ll say yes, and not just because you don’t have a car. A sleepover? With your hot boyfriend? Who just rocked your world and will probably do it again and then cook for you in the morning? Yeah, that’s a no-brainer.

“I could probably be convinced if you find me something comfy to wear and have a spare pack of noodles…I’m starving.”

Mingyu jumps out of bed, the sight of his bare cheeks making you turn and giggle. “I’m about to make you the best noodles of your life,” he walks over to his dresser pulling out underwear for himself, a clean t-shirt, and blue-plaid pajama pants, then he tugs open another drawer and turns to you, holding out a big soft-looking jacket, “I think you’ll like this one. I don’t have any pants that will fit you but this is pretty long. Oooh,” he pauses, “I didn’t think about underwear when I-”

“Ruined mine?” you raise your brow teasingly, sitting up and making grabby hands for the sweater he tosses to you.

He scoffs, tip of his tongue poking at his teeth. “Yeah, that’s my bad.”

Your voice is muffled as you pull the sweater over your head before climbing out of bed, pleased that it indeed covers you well. “It’s okay. It’s not the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’ve learned to keep an extra pair in my bag.” You mention this so casually that he’s stunned when you walk over to grab said panties from your bag and kiss his cheek before turning to leave, “I’m gonna go clean up. Meet you in the kitchen for those mind blowing noodles?”

Mingyu hollers back as you near the bathroom door. “I’ll blow your mind in the kitchen alright!”

He slumps against the dresser when he hears you respond with, “I’m sure you will, babe!”

Babe. Ugh, you’re so it for him.

The steam of the shower mixed with some kind of masculine aroma in Mingyu’s body wash gives off the same feeling of being in his arms and the thought warms your belly again. It’s almost embarrassing, how much you want him just after having him in full, but you’re sure he’d be happy to oblige even if you so much as hinted at it.

Maybe he will blow your mind in the kitchen.

As you’re wrapping up and getting dressed you hear music, oddly loud for the hour but it’s vaguely familiar, still muffled by the sound of the vents running to air out the steam in the bathroom. Then there’s a crash, not earth shattering but enough that you’re slightly concerned. You hurry to hang your towel and pull on your clean underwear and his sweater when you hear another bump against the wall. Then…singing?

“Kiss meeee out of the bearded bobby~”

“NIGHTLYYYY beside the greanbeann grass~”

You poke your head into the hallway, “Um…Mingyu?”

“SWIIINGG SWIINNG-”

“Swing the spinnnning stem~”

Definitely not Mingyu. Also, definitely not the right words to this song but your interest is piqued.

You come around the corner to find him in the center of the living room, quietly laughing, holding the hand of one of his very jovial (probably drunk) maybe roommates while the other (definitely drunk) maybe roommate is spinning around them in circles, bumping into things along the way.

The one with bright blonde hair pokes Mingyu mid-spin, “You wear the shoes and I’ll wear a dressss~”

Then the his drinking partner joins in and their both belting out, “oOHHH Kiss meeee, beneath the melting twilight~”

Mingyu points to the blonde and shouts over the noise, “That one’s Hoshi.”

“Lead meeee, out on the moonlit flooOr!”

He gestures at the one hanging off his arm, the tall boy with shaggy black hair, “This one’s Minghao. They’re plastered, obviously.”

They’re delightful and Hoshi is coming your way with a cat-like smile. He bows, almost stumbles, and reaches for your hand which you’re happy to share. “Lift your open hand…” he serenades, lifting yours into the air, “Strike up the band and make firefights dance silver moons sparkly~”

And he spins you away so quickly you almost stumble but Mingyu catches you around the waist with Minghao singing over your shoulder in a whisper, “So, kiss me.”

And Mingyu does, of course, he’s not going to miss the opportunity. Minghao grins, leaning against the wall to catch his balance, and Hoshi claps…a little bit like a buffoon but you really like them both. Mingyu must really love them because he doesn’t complain one bit about the noise and overly dramatic show, especially with it being your first impression. It helps that he knows how laid back you are and can see the delight still dancing in your eyes.

He does however, turn down the music on the stereo so everyone can talk without shouting.

“You do know you guys are supposed to be serving the alcohol…not drinking it…right?”

“Don’t be r- *hiccup* -rude!” Hoshi flaps his hand dismissively, “I’ll tell your pretty girlfriend about all the times we had to hold your hair back, our sweet little Mingoo ~”

Minghao giggles, bumping into Hoshi’s shoulder, “Or about how you,” he pauses, the two of them bursting into hysterics as Mingyu sighs like he knows what’s coming. Minghao wipes away a tear, still cackling, “About how you got totally tanked that weekend you first started working at Wheelie’s and whined alllll nighttttt-”

Hoshi whacks Mingyu’s shoulder laughing and then looks at you, “He wouldn’t shut up about you the entire night. Crying into his beer…because he thought you were dating the DJ.”

Your hand flies over your mouth, giggling up at your boyfriend who is being a really good sport right now. Even as he pokes his tongue into his cheek, shaking his head at his friends.

“Vernon and I were never dating,” you fake sniffle, “Sadly.”

“Sadly?!” Mingyu swings his head around toward you, “I thought the soulmate thing was a joke?” he laughs.

“Oh, baby, it is a joke,” you reassure him, patting his chest gently but just when he relaxes you whisper, “Until it isn’t.”

Hoshi sticks out his hand as he’s stumbling toward the kitchen and you land a low-five as he goes, and one up top when Minghao follows behind him excitedly mumbling about making drinks for everyone, then Hoshi is shouting about noodles ‘for the love of god, we need more noodles!’

Mingyu sighs and you know he’s about to complain that he no longer has you to himself. Can practically hear it in your head already. So, you cut him off before he can start, tugging him down into a kiss hot enough to make him groan against your lips as his hands dip down to take handfuls of you.

Then he’s laughing, falling out of rythym and you pull back, smiling. “What?”

You squawk in surprise when he smacks your ass and says, “You know you’re still not wearing pants, right?”

Actually, you forgot because of the whole song and dance thing.

“That’s embarrassing,” you mumble, tugging his sweater further down your thighs, “I could go throw my work pants-”

“I can try to find you som-”

You both look toward the kitchen when music starts playing and Mingyu shakes his head, almost regretting stowing his portable radio in there for when he’s cooking. It’s quiet for a few seconds and then, like someone cranked the volume all the way up, it’s starts blasting and they’re both singing.

“Ooooh baby, baybay, b-baby, baybaby, oooh baby-”

Mingyu just laughs. “On second thought, don’t even worry about it. They aren’t going to remember anything tomorrow morning anyway.”

“I like them,” you grin.

His shoulder shake with mirth, “Of course you do.”

You giggle when one of the guys starts shouting the words and grab Mingyu’s hand, pulling him along behind you. “Come on, noodles, drinks, Salt-n-Pepa,” he fake groans and you squeeze his hand, “This is the most fun I’ve had at a sleepover in years.”

Then he’s grinning, “Well, we can make it a regular thing if you want.”

You turn, just before you get to the kitchen and push up to kiss his cheek, “Whatever you say, Hot Wheels.”

“Oh, come on,” he drags his feet after you, “Can we pick a new nickname?!”

“Sure. Come on, Coach Kim. Let’s go play in the kitchen.”

He stumbles a step and shakes his head. “Am I supposed to pretend it doesn’t make me kind of horny when you call me that? God, please don’t hold that against me. I am only a man.”

Oh? Good to know. “Whatever you say, Coach.”

Thanks for reading! 💖

SVT M.List | Main M.List

→ Please do NOT copy, repost, or translate, any of my works here on tumblr or on any other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, Milfgyuu, 2019. ©️

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simplyreveries · 3 months

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SHCUWUA I saw requests open and I just had a thought SOOO

Lilia, Riddle, Silver, and Malleus (separately) headcanons with a fem!reader s/o (if possible, if not than just GN) that is a sweet heart that enjoys to make them smile? Especially Riddle, Silver and Malleus since those three rarely smile honestly 😭

Thank you! - 🎀

lilia vanrouge

he usually has some sort of grin or smile on his face, it's hard to get him genuinely upset or mad. lilia appreciates and thinks it's cute, really, at all the efforts and attempts at trying to make him smile. he’ll give you a laugh and pinch your cheek telling you how sweet that is. really, whenever lilia is around you he simply can't not smile, he loves being just near you– it fills his heart with so much joy.

really does cherish anything you give to him that reminded you of him or thought that he would like, he just turns back any gesture you do for him right back at you but only tenfold. he's looking to make you happy before anything. even if it might be a little strange in some circumstances... where he's tried giving you, his baking.

you two are always matching each other's energy trying to make the other smile and he absolutely adores that about you. any time you two are together, you are always such a loving mess. he teases you about it, like he isn't constantly laughing and smile around you as well.

riddle rosehearts

riddle can't help but feel happy just by being close to you, he has a small gentle smile that plays on his face most of the time even if he's just watching you talk and interact with others around you. his eyes just drift over towards you and can't help but feel overwhelmed with how giddy inside he feels at times. it's his first time feeling and being in love, and he loves it haha.

sometimes he tries not to show his smile, when he's trying to be serious or when preforming duties and doing things as dorm leader or even beginning to feel frustrated at certain rulebreakers but when you go about actively trying to make him smile, it's hard not to give in.

he ends up getting himself flustered or stumbling slightly for words whenever you give him any kind of affection. if he's looking the slightest bit upset you find your hand in his and kiss it sweetly with a smile and he simply melts. it never fails to give him a flushed smile.

silver

he can't help that he has a serious mode on like 90% of the time. he always finds himself cracking a gentle smile at your antics to make him do so. though, it's usually whenever you're not looking, and he catches himself drifting his eyes over and staring at you. those are moments where he is found the happiest.

if you ever point it out and compliment his smile, he'll become slightly flushed and muster out a small thanks. he isn't used to this at all but he only wants to feel it more from you. silver slightly covers his mouth and face and tries to remain composed, but he feels so warm and nervous inside.

in his sleepy moments and he's resting beside you or even on you lap (your suggestion he couldn't say no to) he'd blissfully smile when he feels your hands go through his hair and touch his face. it sends chills through him- he can't get enough of it.

malleus draconia

you'll usually see some sort of smile or amused grin on malleus' face. like silver, he has a continuous habit of watching you and seems to be smiling to himself. he finds it so endearingly sweet to see you always try your best to make him smile.

i think what makes him the happiest is whenever you try to be affectionate with him. even if it's simply grabbing his hand and holding it, to which he'll bring your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss with a smile.

he seems more excitable and happier when you just generally do things like talk and take interest in his interests. ask him about gargoyles and even come along with him during his club activities hes the only one so...). malleus enjoys sharing you what he's so utterly fascinated with.

#twst #twst x reader #disney twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #riddle x reader #silver x reader #malleus x reader #lilia x reader

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lasirenatarot · 6 months

Text

“ LOOKS-MAXXING ” pick-a-card reading.💝

Your next glow up.

What can you do in order to have a big glow up?

Pick a pink 90s magazine cover:

—>Pile 1

Your next glow up will most likely be related to getting « in peace » with your s€xuality prior to glowing up both physically and mentally. What I mean by this is you will probably need to get rid of any self doubts about your looks, any shame around your $£xual side due to past traumas or for some the way you were raised, some may have been raised in a controlling or conservative family.

One of the ways you can make this glow up happen is if you really enjoy your life and what you do. Try to practice your hobbies more and work on bettering your natural talents, by doing that you may find your purpose in this world and this will lead to the biggest glow up ever.. for some it may lead them to their dream career.

Something which appears in the cards is that you may need to forgive your parents or parental figures for the way they treated you in order to reach peace within yourself and your physical body. Forgive yourself as well for not acting in the « right way » or not looking a certain way, this is the best you could do at that point of your life . It is all in the past.

As for a physical glow up: judging by the pictures shown on the cards that fell, maybe start focusing on a regular work out routine, focusing on legs, butt or whatever you feel like you need to improve. Updating your clothing style may benefit you a lot. Stop caring about what others would say and pick clothes which give you freedom of expression, be yourself shamelessly. Some of you who chose this pile may have some creative vision which they may have been scared to express - do it. Meditation may help with your « glow up » in some form as well. Try bolder makeup looks and outfit choices.

Moodboard/Vibes for pile 1:

The vibes I get from this pile is totally Julia Fox as a persona,not only style wise. She’s unapologetically herself, maybe for some she’s a bit weird. But the main point is, despite people’s opinions and perceptions of her, she has always followed her own rules and expressed herself. Before she got famous she was a dominatrix, did a photobook, an art exhibition aand starred in a famous movie in which her character was inspired by her real life . All this happened because she was authentic,lived her life the way she wanted and followed her heart, exactly what u should do as well,pile 1.

Songs which remind me of this pile’s vibe:

—>Pile 2

Pile 2, you’re going through or will go through a huge transformation.. luck will definitely be on your side and you may find out answers for things which you’ve always wanted to know about. ( it can be pretty much about anything. If we are talkibg about a physical glow up exclusively, you may learn some very good beauty hacks soon. It can be about makeup, diet, exercise, skin care, personal development etc.. this is a general reading so I cannot be exact but whatever your case is it will lead to a HUGE glow up. Two of the cards are talking about some « secret knowledge » so whatever it is it will be significant for you.

This pile is very different from the first one as the glow up that appears here is not just about one or two things in your life or looks, it’s about everything. The things you can do in order to glow up faster, pile2, is maybe start watching makeup tutorials and pay attention to new techniques or products you haven’t heared before, ask people for where they shop they may tell you some secret thrift store with really cool clothes which can uplift your style.. anything which can help you get this « secret knowledge » which appeared in the cards. Another thing I can say for this pile is: focus on manifestation, envision the changes in your looks or life as a whole you would like to have and act accordingly in your 3D universe in order to get to where you want to be. Positive affirmations and subliminals (as in subliminals I mean not the crazy unrealistic ones, but those about self concept, confidence and beauty in general) may also be helpful in your case.

Moodboard/Vibes for pile 2:

The vibes I get here are Fran from “The Nanny” and Maddy from “Euphoria”. Fashionable, bold, colourful. Radiating confidence. Crystals, glitter, sparkle, feathers, bold and colourful makeup, everything of that sort. Do not dim your own light to make someone else feel better about themselves if they are insecure.

Songs which remind me of this pile’s vibe:

—>Pile 3

Pile 3: I think you would definitely be bettering your financial situation sooner than you may have even expected, this may help you get a glow up. You would be able to afford nicer things, skincare, clothes, procedures etc.. If you’re not already on a path to improve your finances, then you would definitely be motivated to start working on this problem soon and be very committed on your mission of « glowing up » in every way possible. Physically, mentally, spiritually even. You will be finding yourself after a long period of feeling lost and unlike your true self.

You would become much more intuitive, confident and cut throat even, you won’t let energy vampires use you as they may have done in the past and this would lead to a more beautiful and healthy version of you, because you would not have to deal with others’ negativity anymore. When it comes to relationships you would not be satisfied with with mediocrity, you will be finally standing your ground and being true to your standards and what you deserve. You will be getting your justice if you’ve been mistreated in the past.

This pile has huuuge « femme fatale » « dark feminine » vibe. This may be the energy you will be channeling after you have your glow up. Doing classic makeup like red lipstick+ black eyeliner, black smokey eyes and nude lips combo might help you channel this energy that i am seeing here better. Wearing colours like: red, black, gold and nude might help you elevate your look. Also wearing jewelry, lace and high heels. Don’t be scared to embrace your « dark side » which you may have ignored in the past in order to fit in with the crowd.

May sound trivial, but follow your intuition and do what makes you happy, it will make you glow in ways which you have not expected..

Moodboard/Vibes for pile 3:

The vibes I’m getting here are as I said in previous paragraphes: femme fatale, dark feminine energy,monica bellucci core type of look/aesthetics..

Songs which remind me of this pile’s vibe:

That was all from today’s PAC. It was a bit different from previous ones and I myself did not expect it to turn out the way it did, but sometimes completely different information pops up in readings because someone needs to hear a certain thing.. Hope you enjoyed it!!

Leave a comment/feedback if it resonated, share and follow for more.

Thank you for reading!

- La Sirena💋

Decks used: ‘$£xual magic’ oracle deck by Lo Scarabeo; ‘Manara’ €rotic tarot deck by Milo Manara/ Lo Scarabeo;

Photos are from pinterest; all credits to their respective owners.

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slashersgostabbystabstab · 8 months

Text

Impulses

[MALE] Xenomorph x Reader

There are many benefits to being a science officer

Update: If you like this fic, make sure you read the other one I wrote! It's a NSFW fic with this same Xenomorph character~

This is my first fic ever for the Xenomorph, and it's a rather lengthy one that I hope to write at least another part for. Just some info: I understand that there's a gray area in which the Xenomorph lands so the one I have written here is one that is a man-made hybrid creation. It still very much looks like a Xenomorph but it's changed up a bit. I think the fic describes a bit more in detail.

Sorry if it sucks, I got very much into detail after doing so much Alien lore research and this doesn't even seem like an x reader, I also apologize if it's shit, I am so desperate to post this that I just didn't even bother to revise it. I'll do it tomorrow 'cause it's late right now lol ;7; Feels like I'm writing the next Alien movie lmao

Warnings: Mention of death/corpses. Some violence (ya know, the movies are action packed with the marine corps and such). Not sure what else to mark but please do message me if you feel I should add something

Words: 7,145

Being the Demeter’s science officer had its perks, but it unfortunately also came with its share of detriments such as any other job did. But then again, your particular career choice had its own kind of drawbacks that would make the average person not take the position. Sure most science officer positions didn’t come with so many risks, but being the science officer for THIS ship’s crew was a whole other experience.

Coming onto the crew it was made clear what you were to expect. It was made clear what conditions you would be made to work under, and you somehow still decided this was the path for you. It was made clear that your crew’s purpose was a mission only a specific bunch of associates was picked.

On planet 212, also known as Gethov, there was tale of an overly faithful group of persons. Or without the polite sugar coating provided: your crew was meant to investigate what it could of the possible cult that inhabited the planet. And after spending more than enough time camping out on the planet, it was quite obviously not a possibility but the fact that there indeed was a cult deep within the planet.

But this was in no way no ordinary cult, whatever the hell that meant, this group of pious persons devoted themselves to the very thing that threatened the human race as well as others.

These crazy bastards worshiped Xenomorphs.

They worshiped every kind of Xeno, every shape and form of theirs; even the man-made ones. They venerated the creatures so much that, based on your gained knowledge, they made it their goal to bring life to as many Xenomorphs as they could.

Xenomorphs were believed to have been completely eradicated, even after the mess created by the Weyland-Yutani corporation’s greed. Thankfully they went under great scrutiny in the 90’s before being completely outlawed in 2349 along with numerous other corps. But even things like that weren’t going to stop at least one bastard from starting the whole process again.

Mother’s Order of Propagation. That was the name of the cult created by Charles Lincoln, former executive officer who was so dedicated to helping Xenomorphs reproduce that he, not only groomed his science officer into joining, but he went as far as making recruits “a part of the hive”. One could not easily integrate themselves into the hive, not unless they were covered in Xenomorph pheromones or…implanted themselves with chestbursters.

And that was exactly what the order did. It wasn’t the first time such a phenomenon was heard of, other cults having done what was a delayed gestation in which they could hold the parasite for a longer period. Not only were they able to blend in easier with the Xenomorphs, but they were able to live long enough to take victims of their own to aid in Xenomorph breeding.

Which led to the current position you found yourself in.

You had decided to step out of the base for just a moment, merely wanting to gather a sample of Xenomorph resin one of your crewmates mentioned to you earlier that day. It would be quick, even if it was from a distance from the base. But when you spotted what could have been some other person not a part of your crew and actually one of the cult members, your black out was no doubt quick.

It was uncertain just what the devotees did to knock you out, everything had happened too fast for you to process just how many of these people had even come to find you. There was an intense throbbing in your head the moment you finally awoke, that possibly a hint as to what they did. Your eyes initially shut tightly before they opened to a blurred sight in front of you, the darkness shrouding you not providing the slightest bit of help. However, there appeared to be a sufficient amount of illumination coming from the work lights you spotted strategically scattered around the area you found yourself in.

“Finally awake.” a man spoke to you, his voice somewhat familiar as you realized just how you were currently positioned him. “Didn’t think you’d wake up again. Not like that entirely matters.”

“This is one Kingston wants alive.” a different man stated while you lifted your head as best as you could, feeling as each man had an arm under yours to drag you behind them. Your boots dragged along the murky ground, leaving lines dunked into it before a noise caught your attention. But soon your boots were accompanied by those belonging to others, all in similar positions as you. The difference being that all of these people were already deceased.

“Where the hell am I?” you bared your teeth at the men who didn’t even bother to give you a response. However, your much needed answer seemed to come soon as you took in your surroundings.

Your eyes soon widened at the countless amount of corpses before you turned your head to the side: no matter where you looked, there were cadavers everywhere, and they were unfortunately accompanied by other bodies. These bodies, unlike them, were well and alive. Healthy and strong. Bloodthirsty.

“Don’t mind them, they’re just making sure something good was brought in.” The first man mocked reassurance, looking behind himself to smile in your direction before he returned his gaze to the front as more of these bodies appeared.

The bodies of Xenomorph, full fleshed out creatures who observed you from a distance. You could barely make up the shapes of their bodies, but you knew they were there: patiently waiting for some order. All around you you were able to hear hisses with slight shrieks mixed in every now and then, almost as if what resided in the darkness watched you and communicated. In all the time you investigated what went on with this cult, you would have never imagined such a number of Xenomorphs.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” the other member questioned as he gazed around the hive, practically grinning in awe at the fruits of the cult’s labor. “These beauties never cease to amaze me.

You made a face at his words before attempting to rip your arm away from him, but his grip on your suddenly grew tight and even somewhat painful.

“Nice try.”

A low groan rumbled in your throat at your poor attempt, allowing the men to continue dragging you. You didn’t want to give up just yet, but your only choice at the moment was to unfortunately go along with whatever these demented assholes had in store for you. Based on the bodies that the drones explored all over, it was already clear what they were planning to do with you.

Soon enough however, the men came to an abrupt stop that prompted you to look up at them. They stood still, frozen almost, merely staring up ahead of them before the reason came to mind. From in front of them you could already hear a specific kind of hiss that accompanied a trail of light yet still audible footsteps. A hiss was then heard, right before the footsteps came to your front where you were now being interrogated.

Before you stood a typical drone, a tad bit nosier than the rest of the hive who continued on with their business despite having caught sight of their new victim. The drone was nothing short from menacing as you watched it cock its head to the side to properly examine you. The situation became all the more appalling when the alien hunched its figure down to your face. Its silver teeth clenched in your face with a threatening hiss as it hovered mere inches from your nose, right before it dashed away from your location in an instant as if satisfied with what was brought in. A wave of relief overcame as you were spared for just a few moments longer, but as if one cue, a new kind of danger was presented soon after the Xenomorph’s departure.

“Took the two of you long enough.” you now heard a third voice before the men harshly dropped you to the ground, and you landed on your back before you looked up to see a new pair of legs. Their owner surveyed you with his aged and tired eyes, right before you were given a soft smile from the man. “Welcome to our humble abode.”

You realized who this man was, Joseph Kingston: the science officer who followed right behind Lincoln. He knew of you just as you knew about him, but this was the first time either of you had actually come face to face after numerous battles concerning your shared field. You were each a threat to each other, a fact both of you acknowledged.

Immediately, you made another attempt at escaping. You jumped to your feet as quickly as you could, shoving the lackeys away from you while racing through the resin covered hive. But in spite of that, your adrenaline-filled efforts soon came to an end when you skid to a stop the moment something jumped in front of you. You once again found yourself on your back, flinching at the sight of a new Xenomorph that pounced right in front of you.

You brought your hands up to your face to defend yourself from the creature that snarled rather loudly as it leaned down towards you. The alien opened its mouth to reveal its inner jaw, ready to strike you right through the head, but it retrieved its second mouth the moment a thunderous cry throughout the hive.

The Xenomorph momentarily turned its attention away from you, eventually returning it to give you one last hiss before scampering away along with some of the other drones who paid no mind to you. Many of these creatures ran by you and the trio of men who considered following them after hearing what you knew was the call from a higher-ranking Xenomorph, but they decided to stay in place when they were reminded of your presence.

“To the royal chamber.”

“The royal chamber?” one of the minions blinked at the scientist who broke the silence between you all, right after he and the other man made sure to restrain you yet again. “A-Are you sure?”

“You bastards! What the hell do you want from me!?” you yelled while attempting to kick your way out of their grasp. “Let me go!”

“I think our little scientist here is eager to learn more about our creations.” Kingston spoke before turning on his heel, having the men follow behind him as you continued to struggle again. Though, one of the men made sure to give you a good kick to the leg to ease you down. “I know how much you’ve researched my Xenomorphs, and I just think it’d be fun to give you some hands-on experience. Like a real science officer.

You winced at your newfound pain as you were dragged through the seemingly empty hive, giving a quiet moan before you finally came across another human. Not like that exactly mattered considering how it was just another one of these cultists who beamed at your presence.

“Tell Lincoln we’re taking this one to the royal chamber.”

“I think he’ll be very pleased to hear you’ve finally acquired the Demeter’s science officer.” the other member crooked her head at you, making sure to look your form up and down. So they had been wanting to get you for a while now…that Xenomorph resin your crewmate came across may have just been some kind of bait. “It’s invigorating to see that our mission is coming to full fruition.”

Before you could get any words out, the pair of men shoved and forced you as Kingston resumed his walking through the hive as if it were any ship. Although the scientist eventually did turn his attention back to you, grinning at you with complete pride.

“What are you planning Kingston?” you directed a glare his way, and you realized the enthusiasm he attempted to contain at your question. “What do you need me for?”

“Well you see, we don’t necessarily need you. Any body will do perfectly fine, but we thought it best that the body belong to the one person who’s been pointing out all of our weaknesses. It’s easier to produce more Xenomorphs when there isn’t some other scientist disrupting every one of me and Lincoln’s plans.” Kingston replied before returning his attention to the front.

“So you brought me all the way to your hive just to have one of your creatures kill me?” you spat out before receiving another shove from the men holding you. “That seems almost useless. My crew isn’t stupid enough to come crashing into a place like this just to get their science officer.”

“Your crew is a matter for a different time.” he stated, now standing before an entrance that he opened by dialing a code into the number pad. “We just need a fellow scientist to support our cause.”

“And what exactly is that?” you questioned, but you were soon interrupted by the familiar sounds of Xenomorphs hissing. This time around though, one of the Xenomorphs’ noises stood out from the rest who decided to remain hidden.

You felt the sudden need to hold your breath the moment a stomping was heard just outside the corridor you were currently in. Even the men with you couldn’t help but take a moment to themselves, their hands gripping you tighter as if to conceal the slight apprehension overcoming them. Although these guys were committed to their so-called cause, they were quite conspicuous with their terror: but weren’t most religious zealots the type to fear their own gods?

The stomping, although slow-moving proved to arrive fast, and the figure cast by their creator came soon, approaching from the deeper end of the hallway. It was clear that this silhouette was immense, belonging to something sizeable that eventually stepped into the light with one of its feet before the second followed. And after its legs came the torso and the rest of its body, displayed and almost glistening under the work lights that illuminated it.

“Holy shit,” you finally remembered to breathe, backing up in the only way you could before the men holding you gave in and followed your actions.

“Specimen number 7.” Kingston’s voice proudly declared before he stepped in front of you and the men. “I’m delighted that he’s decided to make an appearance.”

“He?”

“Yes, he.” he reiterated, standing tall in front of the Xenomorph who stopped in its tracks to look down at the scientist, no doubt immediately recognizing him as one of its own. “Number 7 is my finest creation, a male Praetorian who has taken charge of the hive after our queen’s unfortunate demise. Until we create her replacement, he has self-proclaimed himself the temporary leader. Nobody seemed to have any dispute against it.”

Kingston turned away from the Xenomorph along with the alien who made sure to flash its teeth to you; this was yet another one of its features that you quickly realized did not belong to the typical Praetorian. Putting aside the topic of its sex, this one lacked the metallic-colored teeth all Xenomorphs had. Its head crest, although not so different from the female royal guards', seemed to have its own quicks, perhaps even larger. And its color wasn’t the typical jet-black, but it instead had a midnight blue kind of black to it. While female Praetorians stood at at least 10 feet, this one was slightly shorter than that height; as if it even made a difference.

“What’s the point in making a male specimen when Xenomorphs have always been a female-based species?” you spat out before the alien took a step towards you, a successful attempt to intimidate you as Kingston chuckled at the sight. “How…how did you even tame it?”

“I didn’t tame Seven,” Kingston made sure to make the statement as the alien peered down at him, well aware of what the man spoke. “Considering how Xenomorphs went into extinction, save for the embryos we were able to salvage, we had to fill in certain gaps at times. This guard is somewhat of a hybrid, containing human DNA in his genetics to better bond with…me. All of us members of the order. And since the Xenomorph’s genetics have been altered and controlled by me, I was able to design a male. I’m sure you know how biology works.”

Kingston made sure to lean towards you after stepping away from the Xenomorph, giving you another one of his sinister smiles.

“Although hermaphroditic, we must ensure our Xenomorphs can reproduce with each other if another corporation or the government attempts to eradicate what we’ve worked so hard to make.” he disclosed before facing the alien one more time. “Now imagine the wonders Seven could perform if we were to give him a queen that won’t die out as easily as our last one. That poor girl…like most women, she just wasn’t the type to listen. Too resistant. Too many casualties thanks to her resistance.”

“You killed your own queen?”

“She belonged dead. This hive has no place for a queen that will turn the others against us.”Kingston posited in a much darker tone. “Which is where you come in.”

“W-What?”

“Killing you off is too simple, as is implanting a typical chestburster.” you watched the man step away from you and into the chamber meant for your end. The two men holding you intended on taking you inside with Kingston, but the Praetorian stepped once again to stop them in their tracks.

The Xenomorph hunched its towering form to take a better look at your face, giving some kind of a trill before it backed away from you.

“It seems, Seven approves of our choice.” you heard Kingston speak from the room. “Come inside.”

“No!” you exclaimed as you began to kick around again. “Let me go, you sick fucks! Let me go!”

The Praetorian watched as you were led to your doom, eventually making its way back into the corridor as you continued to shout for your release.

“I thought you’d be more ecstatic to indulge in this, seeing how much you enjoy studying our Xenos.” Kingston gave a small laugh as you saw him wearing thich gloves, these with the intention to hold a monstrosity smaller than the drones. In his hands he tightly held a facehugger, but not an ordinary one. “Seven and Lincoln are more than happy to have you as the royal host.”

“Get that thing away from me!”

“Shhh, you wouldn’t want to wake the baby.” he teased while drawing the alien closer to your face. “Here, no one can hear you scream.”

Horror filled your body at the sight of the royal facehugger that spread its webbed digits as it readied itself for your face. You struggled against the grip of the men who were careful enough to keep their heads away from yours, and this ultimately gave you your last chance.

Despite the men’s restraints having become somewhat loose, they restrained you tight enough to give you the right stability that allowed you to kick your leg forwards. In the adrenaline-filled moment, you were able to kick high enough to rip the chestburster out of Kingston’s hands, sending it flying across the room much to the men’s shock.

While the lackeys gasped dumbfounded at the flying facehugger, you ripped your arm out from one of them to give him a good elbow to the face. The man immediately dropped down as you proceeded to repeat your actions on the second man, sending him to his back while Kingston boiled with a newfound anger.

“You, good-for-nothing scoundrel!” he seethed from his spot before turning his attention to his men. “Get the facehugger! Ensure she’s alright!”

You looked around the area, considering escaping through the doorway like a sensible person would, but for a moment you considered that running through a hive full of xenomorph drones was not the wisest of choices. On the slick and damp ground, the royal facehugger seemed to notice you after the lackeys backed away so as to not get infested, and you reacted fast.

From your suit’s pocket you pulled out a screwdriver you always kept on your person, managing to strike the facehugger as it jumped in your direction.The screwdriver stabbed smack-down in the middle of its slit where its longer organ would have unveiled itself, and this singular stab was more than enough to have it fall limp much to Kingston’s dismay.

“No! No, no, no!” he cried out, the calm demeanor from before having completely disappeared as he was filled with an intense fury.

Not wanting to deal with him any longer, you scurried out of the doorway despite not knowing what your next plan of action was. All you could do was run, run as fast and quietly as your body allowed you to.

All around you you once again heard the Xenomorphs communicate amongst you while Kingston yelled from behind, even going as far as calling out to his pet. Realizing the danger this posed, you ran into a nearby chamber you hoped they would not suspect.

You weren’t sure just how you managed to hide yourself as well as you did, but it seemed to be effective with the way in which the Xenomorph drones avoided the room you were in. Perhaps in the process of creating these creatures, they unintentionally made them less functional than their natural counterparts. No matter, you took the opportunity to make yourself at home deeper in the chamber as you realized it wasn’t a den but…more of a storage room. It really was shocking to see how much these Xenomorphs allowed the cult to integrate themselves within the hive.

Turning away from the open entrance, you took notice of the resin-covered furniture inside the room that seemed to keep items of importance inside. This room in particular seemed to be a bit more secluded, perhaps another reason for the drones not bothering to come.

You immediately began to look through the drawers and cabinets, unfortunately not finding very much other than some work tools, desk supplies and containers. Honestly, the best you could work with were the tools which even then were useless against Xenomorphs, the most you could defend yourself from were face huggers. Supplies like pens and clipboards weren’t going to do much either, and these containers…

Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the jars, actually piquing your interest to see what was behind the cylinder glass. You rotated the canister in every possible angle to figure out its contents, and you were finally able to find a label with what you knew was Kingston’s handwriting.

“Royal jelly,” you mumbled, a sudden realization hitting you. “Holy shit.”

Somehow, someway…this was going to be your leverage against the cult members, at least them. At least against Kingston, for you knew the value this substance held. And it didn’t surprise you that most of the room was filled with these cylinders, which were immediately pulled out by you and dropped to the ground before you took a maintenance jack from the drawers to smash the glass.

Royal jelly was the key ingredient used when producing Xeno-Zip, a powerful drug that could enhance one’s body while tearing apart their mind. And if the order was in possession of such quantities, no doubt having collected it from their latest queen, you knew they weren’t going to use it to make drugs. Their intentions were clearly to enhance their creations’ performance, or even ingest it raw themselves. Hell, they might have already done that considering how long some of these members survived with a chestburster residing in their bodies.

You then proceeded to smash another one of the containers, and you continued to do so until there were less than ten left. One would consider the destruction a waste of time, but you knew it was needed to prevent more of this cult’s progression as well as be ready when somebody eventually found you.

And that they did soon enough, for while you attempted to destroy another one of the containers, you heard a familiar thundering of footsteps as a hand grasped onto your wrist.

“Don’t you dare!” came Kingston’s voice before he threw you to the side, enraged at your actions from the moment you kicked his facehugger. “You bastard! Hellion! Do you realize what you’re doing!?”

“Of course I do!” you recovered quickly before reaching out to a nearby cylinder, but the man dared to step on your open hand as harshly as he could which caused you to cry out in pain. Before he had any time to react, you took a pen from your suit’s pocket to stab him right in the leg.

Now it was his turn to wail, falling onto his bottom before his creation from before appeared in the doorway with a full-blown roar. Perhaps the Praetorian didn’t care much for the jelly like Kingston and his members did, but you still took the opportunity to take what you could of the containers despite your aching hand.

“Let me get out! Or I’ll break what’s left of these!” you threatened while holding one of the jars above your head.

“Don’t you dare!”

“Let. Me. Out.”

Kingston could only glare at you from the ground as his alien awaited an order from behind him, snarling while drool dripped from its teeth.

“Seven,” he began before groaning at the pain your pen in his leg caused, soon pulling the item from him to spew out a mixture of blood and ink. “I believe it’s about time we terminate the science officer.”

Your eyes widened at his words, somehow appalled by his command. So before the Xenomorph could properly process the doctor, you launched the jar in your hand at its head. And soon enough, you watched as it stood in place, practically seething like the doctor was earlier.

That…that honestly may not have been the smartest choice.

“You-!” Kingston began once again, but he was interrupted by the sound of his alien roaring yet again.

Instinctively, you threw another jar at the Xenomoprh before it exploded just like the last one, coating its head crest in the fluids while some dripped down its face. You hurled another one, astonished when the Xenomorph skillfully moved its head to avoid this attack which caused you to drop the other containers from your arms, ignoring the anguished scream from Kingston.

With nothing else able to save you from the Xenomorph’s clutches, you backed up as far as you could, until your boot came into contact with some of the jelly from a jar you had previously broken. In an instant, you slipped and found yourself on the ground near the man who attempted to crawl at you while your heard screeches from outside the chamber. The room was soon filled with drones who stood by the Praetorian, awaiting any form of instruction as they watched you and the man struggle.

“You…you ruined EVERYTHING!” Kingston yelled before throwing himself at you, and you immediately attempted to wrestle him off while all the Xenomorphs watched.”Seven! Kill! Terminate! End it!”

Kingston had gone mad to the point of trying to clench at your throat with his bloody hands, waiting for the aliens to help him out in finishing you off. But he and you soon came to realize none of them bothered to move an inch, not until the Praetorian gave the order. An order that never came.

Instead, while still fighting off Kingston, you noticed as the alien grit its teeth with a growl before turning to the drones. A command was soon given. And it was not the command Kingston desired.

“What are you doing!?” he shouted at the Xenomorph who roared and trilled before the drones began to step backwards. They were quite hesitant about it, but they listened to the Praetorian before turning and jumping on all fours, soon scurrying away to leave the three of you alone. “Seven! What the hell are you doing!?”

The Praetorian now made its way to you and Kingston who paused his actions, turning to look at the alien who leaned down with a shriek.

You covered your ears at the volume before the Xenomorph finally grit its fangs again, no doubt having given Kingston a warning.

“Seven! Why-?”

Once again, the Praetorian gave a roar as well as stomp of its foot. It wanted you alone. Oh shit. You were pretty sure at this point the alien found every single one of your actions personal and was not going to allow Kingston to finish you off.

The alien warned Kingston with one last threatening stomp, and the message finally seemed to get through to the man’s thick skull.

You felt Kingston release you before crawling off of your body, his eyes never tearing away from the Xenomorph who made sure to give a hiss.

The man shot you one last glare before he too raced out of the room. The bastard was smart enough to make sure to shut the door with a code, as if you had any form of escape against a monster such as this one.

Once again, you backed away as fast as your hands allowed you while you slid across the scattered royal jelly. The alien observed you as you managed to get up onto your feet, trembling while reaching out to the countertops where you tried to find some kind of a tool you knew would do nothing to the Xenomorph. It turned away for a moment to examine the chamber, its attention on the jelly staining the ground.

Your hands found a wrench that you instantly brought up and held in front of you, ignoring the intense shaking from your hands. The Praetorian immediately snapped its head in your direction, at least as fast as its large head crest would allow. Its maw practically pointed at your form, tightly clenching the teeth inside as an audible hiss sounded from behind the row of fangs. Although the alien lacked any discernible eyes and brow bones to distinguish any sort of expression, it was apparent the way in which it peered at you.

It used one of its claws to swing at the wrench you held, and your weapon soon went flying to the side where you dashed to. But the alien followed with a roar, forcing you to face it once again.

Your much smaller form shook at the sight of it, clearly now its center of attention while you cautiously attempted to step away from the alien. However, you soon enough found it making its way towards you, every step it took having a detectable stomp come with it. Every step it took sounded with obvious suspicion as it titled its head to the side, never ceasing its scanning of your shape.

You continued your backing up, your hands eventually finding their palms against the mucky surface of the hive’s walls. Ignoring the slimy sensation, you soon pressed your back against the wall before your head followed suit. But you then turned your head to the right, eyeing the Xenomorph with a side eye. A slight whimper tried escaping your lips, managing to cause a rumble in your throat as your eye found the alien muh closer than before.

The Praetorian’s mouth released a breathy growl as you immediately looked away from it, shutting your eyes the moment you felt the cold from its body practically radiate on your skin. At this point you learned the bigger a Xeno was, the colder their clammy body would be.

Tightly shutting your lips prompted your nose to breathe intensely, this almost alluring the alien further as it brought its face close to your cheek.

Its breaths were felt against your skin, these somehow warmer than the rest of the creature who took notice of your own heat. Its maw finally pressed against your skin, olfactory senses sniffing you out before you felt a thick substance fall on your head until it slid down to your face.

Finally you opened your eyes, watching the Xenomorph continue to examine your face. While you realized what was on you was the jelly from before. The alien’s jaw smeared it all over your cheek with every sniff it gave you, more of the jelly dripping from its head every now and then.

Praetorians like any other Xenomorph possessed inner jaws, but this one…it was even cleared that it was not a naturally born specimen based on what came from inside its mouth. From in between its teeth slithered out a tongue, warm and slick as it licked the juices off of your cheek ever so delicately. It took a moment as it retrieved its tongue, tasting the jelly on its organ before its throat rumbled with some kind of snarl.

You took the chance to turn your head towards the Praetorian, surveying the alien’s features before it also stared down at you head on. You caught sight of a drooling that fell from its teeth, pooling beside your boots as you found a way to press yourself further into the wall behind you while the Xenomorph pressed its mouth against your face once again. Its minacious claws were brought up to your sides, and you winced at the touch before the alien snapped its teeth at you. Yet again you stood still while the creature appeared to have relaxed, resuming its actions as it snaked its enormous claws behind your body. You felt yourself being pulled away from the wall in an almost tender way, your body nearly pressed against the Xenomorph’s hunched one as your arms disconnected from the wall as well.

It craned its head at you once again, giving a coo-like trill while you held your arms close to your chest so as to not touch the alien in any way. However, this prompted the Xeno to finally hold you close against it, almost as if it wanted to feel the rapid beating of your poor heart against its mesoskeleton. Once again it let its tongue slither out, licking the features of your skin as you gave a wince and shut your eyes for just a moment.

The moment it stopped with its actions, you gave it one more look. It gave you another trill, awaiting any kind of reaction from you with anticipation. For some strange, enticing reason…you felt compelled to bring one of your hands away from your body, hesitantly lifting it before deciding to cautiously place it on top of the Xeno’s head.

You ran your fingers over the smooth surface of the alien’s head before finally reaching the more ribbed parts of its crest, hearing a purr-like sound coming from its throat. And somehow, you felt a smile creep up onto your lips as you admired the Xenomorph’s newfound amiability while a euphoric sensation overcame you.

Your fingers found some of the jelly that still stained the alien’s head, and you retrieved your hand to properly study it as it coated most of your palm. Before you could look any further though, the Xenomorph’s tongue instantly licked it clean off of your hand. The second it finished doing that, you felt the alien begin to nuzzle against your face as more pleased trills escaped it.

Royal jelly was a crucial substance to Xenomorphs, but it made you wonder just what kind of effects it had on man-made ones who were also depicted with a more male design. The jelly was a substance used to make Praetorians from drones, and Queens from Praetorians, lest the Queen chose to simply strengthen her royal guards. From what you had heard, the Xenomorphs were usually affected in seconds, and this Praetorian did not seem to have changed in one bit. Perhaps that was because of its male sex.

Meanwhile, the effect it had on humans…

Whilst you were deep in thought, the Praetorian stood erect to its full height the second it detected some kind of sound outside of the chamber you were in. You snapped out of the wonder and daze you momentarily felt, remembering just how tall the alien was compared to you.

From outside the area your ears caught the sounds of gunshots, yells, and even a sudden explosion. It was so instant that it made you snap back to your senses, but not enough to have you back away from the Praetorian who actually released you that very moment.

The alien whipped around as fast it could while being careful to avoid you with its tail, instead bringing it to its front as it snarled at the locked door that concealed the both of you. It sensed intruders in the hive, able to tell that its drones and the cult members were no doubt under attack. But by what?

Almost as if on cue, that question was answered when a boom practically pounded on the door, shaking it enough for it to create a clear dent in the thick metal.

“Again!”

Another boom sounded before a large hole bursted through the door. This prompted the Praetorian to roar at the presence of the intruders who blasted at the door one last time, finally bringing it down before a group of men stepped in.

Marine corps! You honestly couldn’t believe it.

“Doctor! We’re here for you!” the leader of the group announced before a second man stepped in front of him. “Cover your ears!”

You immediately did as instructed, cowering down the instant you noticed the Praetorian rush at the marines. At that moment, a horrendously loud boom was heard in the chamber. However, considering the weapon’s design, the sound was specifically transmitted as a directional beam shot specifically at the Xenomorph who gave a shriek the second the sound hit it.

“Doctor, this way!” the first man motioned towards him, ignoring the completely disabled Xenomorph who seemed to writhe in pain. You couldn’t help but give it one last glance before the man called to your attention again. “Doctor!”

Turning away from the Praetorian, you hurried towards the man whose hand you accepted in that moment. However, you decided to spare the alien one last glance, watching as it slightly recovered enough to lock gaze with you. You paused, watching as the Xenomorph reached a claw out to you, right before it was hit with another ultrasound beam that prevented it from standing up.

“Doctor, let’s go!” the leader of the troop yelled before turning to his marines. “Make sure that thing stays down, don’t waste ammo on it! We’ll come back to kill it some other time!”

“Did my crew send for you!?”

“That they did! Sergeant Newton at your service doc.” the man spoke as he led you through the hive’s corridors you had found yourself in earlier. “We found you with that tracker of yours, made navigating this shithole easier.”

“I’m glad.” you responded as the man held you close when your running was momentarily stopped to avoid incoming drones. It was at this moment that you took notice of the new corpses that adorned the hive, corpses belonging to the cult members that had not appeared to you before. “You killed them!?”

“Unfortunately had to, they fired first and were commanding the Xenos to attack us. I don’t understand these crazy bastards.” Newton claimed before he resumed his running and gingerly pulled you along. “That seemed to confuse the Xenos for some moments, they can’t work without someone telling them what to do. Which brings me to ask, what was that Praetorian doing with you?”

“I-I don’t-” you began to stutter, but your words were interrupted by a sudden roar that was followed by shrieks that were clearly replies. “The Praetorian! It’s telling them what to do!”

The corridor you and the sergeant were in soon ended as the two of you found yourselves in the openness of the main hive room, the walls filled with crawling drones who had a sole purpose. Thankfully though, the sergeant’s troop soon accompanied him with the necessary weaponry that kept many of the aliens away.

“You won’t be able to take them all! We need to get out!”

“On it.” Newton replied before giving the order to the marines who began to let loose on the Xenomorphs, nobody exactly noticing that their sole purpose…involved you. Nobody except the sergeant who realized that the aliens only attacked those guarding you when they protectively surrounded you. “Keep them at bay, I’ll take the doctor to safety!”

You heard the man’s words in between the sounds of gunfire and turrets shooting continuous flames at the aliens, and you didn’t spare a moment in following Newton when he began to escort you to where he knew the exit was nearby.

“Doctor, go!” he shouted once the Xenomorphs turned their attention to your form, ignoring the troop who immediately grew confused. It was then that you realized why he directed you to leave without him: the Praetorian was already making its way through the hive’s remains, fully intending on getting you.

“Go, go, go!”

Without looking back, you ran through the wet floor of the hive as you felt Xenomorphs quickly approaching you. Praetorians never left the hive, they were the queen’s guards, so all you had to do was reach that damn exit. And that your eyes found soon enough, a light at the end of a tunnel where you heard voices shout at you.

The beating of your heart pounded against your chest and even rang in your ears as you felt yourself running out of breath, having to catch yourself from falling every now and then. At the same time, you could hear the trills and screeches and roars from the Xenomorphs not too far behind, the pounding of the Praetorian’s feet so close.

One last time did you look behind you, watching as the alien reached out to you before you felt yourself be tugged out of the cave. The screeching of aliens sounded right after flames shot out at the hive, forcing them all to retreat behind the Praetorian who you could tell was considering escaping running through the fire.

But the troops that now guarded you did not allow it, firing their weapons while one of the marines stole you away from the hive. You heard the alien screech at your absence while its drones returned to the hive, no doubt to rid of the troop still inside, and as you were taken away…the world suddenly grew quiet as you no longer paid any mind to the hive.

#xenomorph x reader #xenomorph #alien #aliens #alien vs predator #this xeno is specifically movie based but i'll still mark it as this for future stuff:#dbd xenomorph #specimen seven

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bettyfrommars · 10 months

Text

Handcuffs & Crab Rangoon

(also known as How I Met Your Mother)

playgirl!Eddie x Reader

By Request! From this ask, directly inspired by this delicious artwork by @sporelium (run don't walk if you haven't seen it yet) but also inspired by the 1995 Peter Steele Playgirl cover. Peter notoriously kept his joystick hard for most of the 6-7 hour shoot because he thought readers of the magazine would enjoy it more than if it were flaccid (I'm fine either way, but damn, thanks baby). wc: 4.3k

18+Only, mature content, smut, rockstar!Eddie, oral (f receiving), protected p in v, reader wears overalls, pet names, fingering, mention of Eddie's scars, accidental edging, sex on the job, sneaky sex, she/her is used once, no y/n, reader is a tough cookie, but Eddie is magic. It is the mid-90's.

Playgirl!eddie afterthoughts

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You’d been helping out a photographer for risqué magazine shoots as an assistant for almost 5 months now. It was the fourth job you had just to keep yourself afloat while trying to live an independent life in LA. To make it in show business you had to be extremely talented, drop dead gorgeous, backed by generational wealth, or just plain lucky, and you were none of those. So, you broke your back to make ends meet while taking night classes and working on the script you were writing with two other friends.

The studio loft on the second floor was an expansive space with windows overlooking the industrial district all along the wall. Sasha, the photographer, stood adjusting her camera on the tripod, while the makeup artist touched up the rockstar you were working with that day, and Need You Tonight by INXS played low from the radio on a nearby shelf.

You saw him from the back first; long, dark wavy hair hanging down over the white robe he wore to protect his modesty for the time being. You noticed that his hands were strong and calloused as they hung at his sides. June, the makeup artist, was on a step stool to blot his nose with powder and fix the crown of his hair.

June saw you coming and introduced you, causing Eddie to turn on his heel, tightening the sash on his robe as he did.

You sucked in your bottom lip to hold back a whimper at the zing you felt when his warm hazelnut eyes met yours. His full, soft lips parted in greeting, a long strand from his bangs bouncing on his eyelash, his gaze rolling over you from head to foot indulgently.

Of course, you’d heard of rock star Eddie Munson from Corroded Coffin. At one of your other jobs, a girl you worked with had his magazine cutouts taped to the inside of her locker. Last year, he was Cher’s date to the Grammys. He was getting ready to go on tour, and procuring tickets was all any of your friends could talk about.

But, goddamn, he was much better looking in person than any tabloid or tv show could've ever prepared you for, and the chemistry vibrating in the space between the two of you was palpable.

“Eddie…Munson, you say?” You squinted, as if you were trying to place him, like the name sounded familiar but you didn’t know why while June fixed the back of his hair. “Football player, right?”

The tip of his tongue sipped out to wet his lips, curling one side of his mouth up in a half grin. “I love a girl who knows her sports.”

There were a few loaded seconds there when the two of you just sank into a sexually charged stare-down, both unwilling to budge.

Sasha called your name, snapping you out of it. She came over to let Eddie know what your role was, and encouraged him to let you know if there was anything you could do to help him relax. She finished explaining a few things to him while you brought over a glass of lemon water.

Sasha walked away and he took a sip, keeping his eyes on you over the glass, smirking.

“What?” you mirrored the smirk. “This will be such an easy job for me because I know you rockstars don’t have any problem taking your cocks out and being admired in public.”

“Oh, you know me, huh?” He challenged.

You worked your jaw, pussy clenching, wondering what he looked like out of his robe. “You’re all the same, aren’t you? Arrogant, over-sexed, and too pretty for your own good.”

“Well, you got me on the pretty part,” he winked. “But nah, I’m not a rockstar. I’m just a small-town freak who got lucky and, this has all been fucking overwhelming to tell you the truth.” Eddie was tall, with broad shoulders, and your mouth dried up a little at the tattoos on his forearms that peeked out from under the sleeve of the robe.

You took the glass from him when he was finished. “We have the small town thing in common, at least,” you said with an incline of your head.

It was time to get started, but even as Sasha motioned him over, he paused next to you, so close that the ends of his hair grazed your shoulder. “So, if I can’t get relaxed on my own, then that means you have to help me?” He whispered it, but forcefully, so you could feel his warm breath on the side of your head. You could smell the mix of spearmint and tobacco.

Keeping your eyes straight ahead, you swallowed hard as the woodsy spice of his scent hit your nostrils. “I’ll do my best for you, Mr. Munson,” and then you dared to glance up, your breath hitching as he unfastened his robe and lowered it from his shoulders right in front of you, only a few feet away.

You tried not to show emotion because you knew he was watching, but you closed your mouth to keep a yearning mew from escaping. There were tattoos scattered around his defined muscles, but there were also fascinating scars like floral blooms along his neck, chest, and stomach. Your eyes ached to travel down to the V-shape that cut into his hips and the treasure below, but you refused to give him the satisfaction. Not yet anyway.

You were just about to tell him he could keep the robe on until he was comfortable, but he threw the article of clothing over for you to catch. “I’m ready as I’ll ever be.”

Half of the people Sasha photographed were too shy to take the robe off right away, and maybe Eddie would have hesitated in other circumstances, but you had a strange feeling he was doing this for you. If Sasha wasn’t asking him to look at the camera, his eyes were always banking in your direction.

“I think we should try the handcuffs,” Sasha said to the room, but mostly to you.

You made your way over to where the props were, knowing that Eddie’s eyes were keeping pace, and playfully dangled the silver cuffs from your thumb and forefinger as you retrurned, wiggling your eyebrows; a gesture he was happy to return.

“Front or behind?” You asked Sasha.

“Behind for now,” she answered. “You okay with that Mr. Munson?”

“My god,” he chuckled, putting his hands behind his back for you to have easy access to the tender skin of his wrists. “Call me anything but Mr. Munson. Eddie is fine.”

You always tried to keep things very professional, but not only that—you’d been around so many naked bodies, they all started to look the same to you. This was your job, and mostly it never even occurred to you to see the models in a lustful way.. You never let your eyes hover too long on the private parts of your clients; maybe just a glance and that was it. But the job of fastening Eddie’s handcuffs had you taking in the firm structure of his ass like it was a visual last meal.

You stroked your finger a few times in his palm. “Is that too tight?”

The combination of your touch and the way you whispered gave him chills in the best way possible and his fingers flexed, as if trying to reach out for you. “I hope you have a key for these things,” he mumbled.

“I do,” you assured him. “But I’m about to swallow it.”

“Hey,” he hushed over his shoulder before you could walk away. “Should my dick be hard for this?”

You wanted to kiss his arm, you wanted to bite it. Instead, you put your hands together and intertwined your fingers. “Do you want it to be?”

Eddie lowered his chin, voice barely audible. “Are you offering to help, sweetheart?

Sasha took a few more photos as he was, standing to the side, eyes flicking to where you stood behind Sasha’s shoulder. When it was time for you to take the handcuffs off, Eddie stretched his hands, turning to face front. “No chick wants to look at a flaccid dick when they buy magazines like this,” he announced. “Give me a second to…get ready? If you know what I mean?”

While Sasha and June went out for a smoke break, Eddie put his robe on, and headed for his private dressing room, but he paused in the door and turned to find you. His eyebrows popped up a few times, motioned with his hand down low for you to follow him in. You knew you could lose your job for fornicating with Eddie during a photo shoot, but at that moment, you couldn’t have cared less.

Once you were in, Eddie closed the door and leaned back against it, his robe falling open. He clutched a fist into the front of your overalls, pulling you closer. Your fingertips feathered down the ridges of his scars, thumb caressing over his missing nipple, and he jutted his head forward to meet your mouth, but you were too fast, dropping to your knees to taste his cock, taking your job and his request a bit too seriously.

“Hey wait,” he sank his hand around your throat, guiding you back up to full height. “Kiss me first,” he brushed his lips across yours. “And then you can kill me.”

While the tiny person in charge of your brain ran around inside your skull screaming, your lips met his, tips of tongues introducing each other first, and then echoed moans, opening wide to take each other deeper.

“I know what will get me hard,” he told you in a breathy rush. “Take these off,” he motioned to the overalls you were wearing. “And sit on the counter.”

He walked forward so that you would back up, his hands supporting your waist.

You looked back at the counter top. “But we don’t have much time to—”

“I don’t need much time,” he said, swatting a stool out of his way so it crashed to the ground. “I want you in my mouth.”

You shivered and obeyed, unhooking your overalls, letting them fall to the floor. You were in nothing but a tank top now, ass on the cool edge of the Formica, and he pulled your underwear down your legs, salivating and biting his lip as he did so.

“Fuuuuck, you are so wet,” He pushed your knees wider with his strong arms and sank his tongue into your glistening folds, flicking the nub a few times. “Did you get this wet just for me? Hmmm?”

“Yes Eddie,” you whimpered, bracing yourself on the beige counter next to the vanity, watching him drag his chin all the way up your slit, and then pull and twist his tongue down, darting it into your hole. His eyes met yours again, his mouth latching onto your sweet spot and sucking there. You wrapped your legs over his shoulders and sunk your heels into his back.

His fingers dug into the meat at your hips, his mouth diving deeper, sucking in while his tongue flicked. He reached a hand down between his legs and started stroking himself, getting more and more turned at the way you were gasping and twitching.

You grabbed the top of his head. “Fuckkk Eddie fuck just like that.”

His eyes were closed now while he devoured you, but the look on his face spoke of how seriously he took the task, rolling his tongue and working you in a way that made your eyelids flutter and a choke catch in your throat.

But then there came a knock at the door.

It was Sasha, and thank god she didn’t try the doorknob because you hadn’t locked it in your frenzy to get on Eddie’s joystick. .

“Coming!” You shouted nervously, dropping to your feet, stepping into your underwear and then your overalls.

Eddie sucked in his bottom lip, licking what was left of you from his mouth. He caught your elbow as you were fastening the second clip. “Can we finish this later?”

The way he asked it was almost shy, as if his face hadn’t just been between your thighs. Meanwhile, your engorged pussy was soaking your underwear, begging to be finished. You saw that his chin was still wet from your arousal and whisked some of it away with your thumb.

He bent to let his lips graze at your ear as he closed his robe. “I like the way you taste.”

Back out on the floor, you let Sasha know that Eddie was talking your ear off about something, but that he would be out any second. Sasha and June exchanged a look, mostly in regards to the way the straps of your overalls were all twisted and buttoned wrong, but neither one of them addressed it.

When Eddie came out and took his robe off again, he was hard, rolling his big hand around the head a few more times as he got on the prop bed that was there for the next set. There was a model named Cindy in lingerie there to be in the shots with him, and you felt a jealousy rise in you that didn’t make any sense. It rose so hot in your gut while their mouths hovered inches apart, pretending they were about to kiss, that you had to look away. Every so often, he’d glance over at you while he had his cock in his hand, determined to keep the beast hard, and you wondered if he was thinking about having his tongue inside of you.

Because, you were definitely thinking about it. You took a little private time around the corner just to touch yourself through your denim, working your fingers at your core, wondering if you should just finish yourself off and be done with it just as Sasha finally called for another smoke break.

You tried not to be too obvious, casually strolling back to Eddie’s dressing room, making sure the model Cindy was comfortable and fetching her the sparkling water she asked for while Love Bites by Judas Priest played on the radio.

Eddie was already in there waiting, yanking you inside by the wrist so he could lock the door, planting hot, hungry kisses down along your neck.

You dropped your overalls like they were on fire, caressing his hard length in a way that made him moan. “I need you so fucking bad,” you breathed, pulling your tank top up and over your head so that you could be flush with his skin, to feel the ridges of his scars. “That last set was almost two hours,” you were still talking as he backed you further into the room. “How is your cock still hard?”

His fingers slipped down through your folds and he hissed at the way you were dripping. “Just the thought of this, sweetheart.”

There was a floral couch against the wall and when your calves met with it, you plopped down into the cushion and Eddie followed, knees to the wood floor, wrapping his arm around your thighs to take your sweet bud into his mouth again, teasing it with his nose first.

“Fuck fuck Eddie, I’m already so close,” you took a fistful of his beautiful hair, careful not to mess it up too bad and bucked against his mouth. “You’re so good, I love it when your tongue fucks me.”

Your hole was clenching around nothing, needing more, and that was when two of his fingers slid in, the ones with the chunky metal rings, they stretched you out suddenly, making you curse with pleasure. Eddie zig-zagged his tongue rapid fire over your clit, groaning at the way your hole gripped his fingers. His cock was leaking pre-cum and he thrust his hips into the couch as he felt your walls begin to ripple.

“Fuck Eddie, you’re gonna make me cum…so hard….” the orgasm seemed to snap your body in two, pulsing a waves of pleasure up your spine, making your mouth freeze open on a sharp inhale. And then you were babbling, “cummincumming so hard, Eddie!”

“Turn over,” he demanded in a deep voice once you were able to catch your breath. “I need to clean you up.”.

And so you got on your knees facing the wall and held onto the back of the couch, trembling at the way he spread your cheeks and lapped you up all along your drenched slit.

“We’re ready if you are!” Sasha called from out in the studio making you spin around.

“Oh shit,” you breathed, looking down at how swollen and ready his cock was. “I can’t leave you like this.”

“I can wait, sweetheart,” he mumbled, standing to pull his robe back on and offer you his hand, tossing his hair back over his shoulder.

By the time the photo shoot was over, Eddie would’ve been edging his release for over 4 hours, and he didn’t seem phased at all about it.

It was time for the handcuffs again. Eddie wanted a cigarette, and Sasha encouraged him to have it in a seat by the window and she’d get a few shots of him there. He held his wrists close together in front of him while you secured the cool metal, his chocolate orbs fixed on your face. He liked how your fingers quivered as you cuffed him, and his erection had finally softened enough to not be obnoxious, but it was still making your mouth dry up with desire.

He wanted to light the cigarette himself, so you passed him the lighter. He spread his legs, hitching one heel up on the leg of the chair, exposing the patch of hair at the base of his cock and around his balls

“That’s perfect,” Sasha told him, finger tapping on the shutter button, producing a blast of fast clicks..

You glanced up at the clock, knowing your time with Eddie would be over soon. Cindy the model could’ve gone home, but she’d decided to stay and wait to watch the rest of Eddie’s shoot, her eyes sparkling with lust. Maybe she would be the one to get Eddie off and not you. She was physically more what you assumed his “type” would be since, in your mind, all rock stars were the same.

You didn’t have to wonder for long which woman he’d rather fuck, because he was eyeballing you from across the room as he put his robe on and said a few last words to Sasha. The dressing room door was hidden around the corner and down the hall, but you decided not to follow him straight in like you had the last two times; your carnal needs were making you sloppy. This time, you went out into the stairwell to the back entrance and knocked, hoping he would get the hint because it only opened from the inside. Eddie pushed it open with a hard metal clank, and then your hands were in his hair, and wordlessly the two of you fell into each other. He was doing the work of unfastening your overalls while you were coherent enough to ask about condoms and he presented a string of them out of the pocket of his robe.

“You came prepared,” you stumbled over your clothes, yanking your shirt off as you went.

“Nah,” Eddie cocked his head. “I had my gofer bring me these. The guy is quick.”

“How do you want me?” You kissed down his chest, flicking his one salty nipple with your tongue, making him groan.

He ripped one of the condoms off the pack and tore it open with his teeth, and then spat the paper edge out. “I need to be able to see your face,” he crashed his nose against yours diving in for another kiss.

“Sit,” you told him, urging him back into the wooden chair in the corner of the room. It was right next to a full length mirror so he could watch you fuck him from the side if he wanted to. There were no arms on the chair, and he complied, licking his lips, eager for whatever you had in mind while he rolled the condom on.

You kicked your leg over him like you were mounting your motorcycle and sat your hungry, soaking hole down on the tip of his cock. Eddie took hold of your hips and guided you down, releasing one long moan as you went. You whined, coming down flush with his lap, his cock stretching you out in a way no one ever had before, settling yourself first before you began to move. You pushed up from the balls of your feet, riding him, and Eddie clamped a hand onto each of your ass cheeks, creating a rhythm, using his strong arms to help lift and lower you.

Your foreheads came together as you moved, hard nipples grazing his chest. You watched him grit his teeth and gasp. “Damn, you’re so tight. I’m close, I’m so fucking…close,” he bit out.

Your clit rubbed against his patch of hair as you worked, and it wasn’t long before you began to hiccup with the contraction of your own release. Never in your life had you cum this soon and this close together. “You’re gonna make me cum again, oh my god.”

“Yeah?” He pulled his head back. “Look at me.”

You met his eyes as you bounced, his hips snapping up to meet you every time you bottomed out.

“Yes,” you said breathlessly, finding the yearning in his stare too much to handle. “Like, right now, right…fuck, Eddie I’m cumming!” Your head dropped to his shoulder while the tremors rolled through you, walls squeezing his cock, making his toes curl and his hips jerk erratically, the chair legs squeaking from his weight.

He held you flush to him, his release hot and plentiful; so much so, he might’ve worried about the integrity of the condom if he hadn’t been so pussy drunk on the way your hole was still clenching him like a fist. You locked your chest to his and he caged you with his arms, locking you there.

Your knees threatened to turn to butter and betray you as you dismounted the ride of your life, both of you finding the footing to scramble around and retrieve your clothes. Eddie could stay in the dressing room as long as he wanted, but you? You were only a shell of the employee you normally were that day and you feared that Sasha was probably coming to look for you at that moment, ready to tell you to take a hike.

Eddie pulled his shirt down over his head, adjusting it over his jeans and flipped his hair from out of the collar. You snapped the first buckle on your overalls and gave him a tilt of your head. “Hey stranger, I almost didn’t recognize you with clothes on,” and then you fixed yourself in the mirror quickly before planting one more kiss on him on your way to bolt for the door.

“Hey, wait,” he called out, making you turn around. “Is that it? This is goodbye?”

Eddie Munson was a beautiful rockstar. Eddie Munson was in music videos on MTV. Eddie Munson could have any woman he wanted in the world, single or taken, and so no---you hadn’t expected more to come from this. You thought maybe he had a new fuck for every day of the week and you just happened to fall into his lap at the right time when he was bored and had some time to kill.

“Did you need anything else?” You asked it in your professional assistant voice, your work voice, and put your hands in your pockets to patiently wait.

He sat down on the couch to put his Converse on, absorbed in his task as he spoke to you. “My hotel is just up the street. Are you busy tonight? We could have dinner. Anything you want, my guys will get it for us.”

“I’m busy tonight,” you lied.

“What about tomorrow?” He pushed, tying the next shoe. “I wanna hear more about this small town you grew up in. I’ve really been missing home lately.”

You softened. “I refuse to believe you are anything but a spoiled city boy.”

He stood to his full height, stretching his chest, and hooked his thumbs into his belt loops, giving you a shrug and a familiar smirk. “Just think about all the ways I could prove you wrong if you came to hang out with me tonight. I might even surprise you.”

You got all awkward for a bit, fighting with yourself over why you weren’t on your knees begging for this man. Regardless of your silence, he found an old receipt for a tin of mini mart pretzels in his pocket and wrote his room number and hotel on it.

Passing it to you pinched between his two fingers, he added without meeting your gaze, “I’d really like to see you again.”

But then Sasha was calling for you, needing help with equipment, and you were scurrying out of the room with your heart in your throat.

You paused with your hand on the doorknob. “Crab Rangoon?”

Eddie scoffed. “What did you call me?” He was jutting his arms up into the sleeves of his leather jacket when you favored him a glance over you shoulder.

You swiveled to face him and made a circular gesture with your hand as if the implication was universally understood. “If there happens to be some crab Rangoon at your hotel tonight, I will stop by.”

Eddie’s face was blank, totally unreadable for a few seconds, and then a smile teased at the corners of his mouth, crept across his face, and jumped to his eyes. He gave a nod, “crab Rangoon it is then.”

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#playgirl!Eddie #Eddie Munson smut #Eddie Munson fic #Eddie munson one shot #rockstar!eddie munson #90sau #eddie munson x reader

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gaylordscooter · 3 months

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i just wanted some fucking clothes why is there a parasite manning the cash register

“free food, shelter and clothes? i could get used to this…” Killer surmised as he inspected the dark gray jacket he took from the rack.

He caught sight of the meaningless price tag and sucked in air through his teeth. “sixty dollars?” he muttered. Good thing they didn't have to pay.

“do you always talk out loud to yourself?” Horror questioned, watching him from behind.

“i’m not exactly talking to myself when you and hooded-creep are here.” Deciding the jacket looked cool enough for him, he removed his current hoodie to put it on. He tossed his old hoodie into the shopping cart, adding to the dangerously high pile of clothes.

A middle finger from the other side of the rack rose up.

“but i might as well be talking to myself ‘cus of how quiet you two are. bird flipper, do you ever speak?”

The answer was silence.

“figures…hey i just realized any time we talk to each other, we're talking to ourself.”

Dust tipped over the clothes rack with a forceful shove, causing it to fall on Killer.

“ow, what the heck, man?” It didn't hurt at all and he easily got the rack upright again, but some of the clothes fell off of it and made a mess on the floor. No one here was gonna clean that.

Dust walked out from behind the rack with a few garments in hand and stacked it on the pile.

They were about done shopping anyway, he guessed. Or at least, he assumed so. They’ve been here for a few hours now, but Horror was completely empty-handed.

“hey, crater-head, where's your haul? don't tell me you're not getting anything, you need new clothes the most with your rags.”

“i didn’t see anything i wanted,” he answered simply.

“really? this is a high-end store on the surface. your current getup is from the dump at waterfall.” He pointed at Dust. “look at him, he's all decked out now! covered literally head to toe, can’t even see any bone anymore.”

Horror looked unconvinced. “let's just go. i don't want that freak getting pissy at us for taking too long.”

If he had eyelights he would've rolled them, but he conceded. Not getting any clothes was his loss, but he swore if he ends up taking some of his clothes when they get back he’ll add to his kill count.

The three of them went on their way to the exit.

However, someone—a skeleton monster like them—was at the cash register, expectantly waiting for them to come over. The store was empty the entire time they were here, Nightmare made sure of it.

And the barrier in this universe hasn't been broken.

“Heya dawgs, how’s it hangin’?” the skeleton monster asked. “Yous three gonna pay for all that, right?”

His clothes hurt to look at. They were obnoxiously bright and tacky. His sunglasses that completely obscured his eye sockets literally spelled out “YOLO”. It was like the 90s threw up all over him. What alternate universe was this nut from?

Killer slipped his hand in the pocket of his shorts and curled it around the handle of his knife. He let out a shallow laugh. “what's it to you? you're not the store owner.”

“No duh, homeslice, but stealin’ is totes not rad!”

The way he talked was getting on his nerves. Scratch that, everything about him was getting on his nerves.

It seemed the other two felt the same. At any second, Dust was going to blast that 90’s disaster into the proper century.

“it's not like they're stealing from monsters. this is a human-owned store. i don't think they’d miss a few clothes,” Horror pointed out. “but if it bothers you so much, i’ll be on my way.”

“what?!” Killer exclaimed. He looked at Horror with an exaggerated look of betrayal on his face.

Horror made his way to the door. “hey, i’m not the one stealing. i’ll wait outside.” he said with indifference.

The other skeleton didn't protest at all when he left the building.

“butthole…what the?” Killer narrowed his eyes at his slip of the tongue. That’s not what he meant to say.

“Nah, homie, that chatter don't fly here.” The skeleton shook his head and his shades now spelt “NUH-UH”.

“you censored me?” His wariness skyrocketed at such a small thing. Well it wasn't exactly small when he's able to alter their words. What else could he do?

He glanced at Dust, who looked nonchalant as always.

He sighed, preparing for a fight. “listen, bud, we don't have any money and we're not going to—”

“Aw, no cheddar? You two should probably return those clothes then.” The overly-cheerfulness of his voice dwindled ever so slightly. Almost like he was threatening them.

He stared at him in befuddlement.

Dust decided he was entirely fed-up with this guy and the familiar growl of a blaster rang out.

“Not cool,” the colorful skeleton said before getting blasted.

But he was completely unfazed by the attack.

Killer and Dust instinctively backed up even with the current distance between them and that thing.

“That blast gots a huge kick to it, yo. You should be more careful, you could totes hurt someone with that.” The skeleton stood up—he was kneeling behind the counter the entire time.

He thought he was around the same height as he and Dust. But now it was clear he towered over both of them.

“I shoulda introduced myself, huh?” He asked as if he was talking to himself. He shrugged off his mistake. “My b, better late than never.” He adjusted his glasses as his smile widened dangerously. His golden tooth shined brightly despite there being no light for it to reflect. “The name’s Fresh. I take it that you peeps are sanses? The hooded dude packs a ri-donk-ulous punch tho.”

Blue bones rose up and caged Fresh as a half-ring of blasters appeared and fired. The impact of the blasts created a huge cloud of smoke, obscuring their vision.

Killer drew out his knife with a groan. He swore, Dust was so dramatic. He hoped that the dust of Fresh was among the cloud of smoke, but something about his instincts screamed otherwise. He squinted as he looked around. Dust wasn't by his side anymore.

It's gone completely quiet.

“...dust?” he whispered harshly. “where the funk did you go?” Ugh, there went the censoring again.

A hand laid on his shoulder, causing him to jump, but it was only Dust. He sighed and let his head hang back for a second. “you can't just do that!”

“...my bad.”

Wait. He talked!? And to express sorrow out of all things…“uhuh. we gotta put some bells on you or something, jeez.” The hand on his shoulder remained, in fact, the grip seemed to tighten. “you can let go now,” he said, voice laced with annoyance.

He still didn't let go. Was he trembling? His other hand was locked tightly into a fist by his side.

The grip on his knife tightened.

He hasn't known Dust for long, but what he did know was that he wasn't a touchy person.

“i said let go!” He hacked his knife into Dust’s wrist, he didn't put enough force to completely sever a bone but it cut pretty deep.

Dust yanked his hand away in complete silence.

Killer heard footsteps nearby, but there were too many for it to be from just one person.

The smoke finally dissipated.

He was completely surrounded.

There were more skeletons in the store, all of them wore those obnoxious sunglasses with text on them. These weren't just any skeletons, however. He was sure all of them were Sanses. They were stark still when he caught sight of them, like mannequins on display.

“i don’t know what's gotten into you, dust, but you need to snap out of it for once.”

“Oh, I know the answer to that one, broseph,” Fresh said. He adjusted his shades, the text on them saying “IT’S ME”.

Killer put two and two together quickly. All of these Sanses were being controlled by Fresh, and he was adding Dust to the party. Shit, was he going to be next too?!

He brandished his knife wildly like a cornered animal, causing Dust to take a step back. “aw heck no! get the frick away from me!” He couldn't die here, he couldn't even swear properly! He wasn't going to let his last word be a censored f-bomb.

“Don't be like that, homeslice dawg. Join the party, it's the bomb!” Fresh insisted, stretching his arms out to gesture at the still crowd. “Your pal’s waiting for you,” he added grimly.

As if on cue, Dust tackled him to the ground, grabbing his wrist to prevent him from using his knife. He was breathing heavily in a strained fashion.

They were just getting some fucking clothes. They were just going shopping. It was supposed to be a normal excursion, for once. He doesn't even know the next chance they'll have a goddamn break or do something that isn't designed to mentally mess them up even more. Fuck this guy.

He let out a growl as he brought his knees to his chest and kicked Dust off of him. He rolled upright and blindly lunged for Fresh, swinging his knife around like an untrained toddler.

Fresh backed away from every slash. He may hardly look like a Sans but he sure dodged like one.

As the two fought, the crowd surrounded the three, caging them in. Dust hasn't gotten up yet, but random bone attacks of his flung around the makeshift arena.

The exit door flung open, interrupting their fight.

Never in his life did Killer expect to feel relief at seeing that stupid octopus. Horror followed behind him, looking shocked at the sight.

“I told you that I expected you back in three hours!” Nightmare roared. Once he actually registered what was happening, he narrowed his eye in confusion. “Who or what is that thing that assaults my vision?”

“kill it! kill it now!” he shouted with a bit too much desperation.

In an instant, everyone in the building was lifted up by his tentacles and shoved against the walls of the building as Nightmare arose.

Killer thrashed around in vain, “not me too, you idiot!”

“you’d think you'd expect this by now,” Horror, who was held up near him, muttered.

For the first time since they’ve seen him, Fresh frowned. “Bogus, dude! Interruptin’ my meal like that is not cool.”

“meal?!”

Nightmare ignored the two and paid particular attention to Dust. Something was wrong with his soul, his feelings were all muddled. In fact, the other skeletons here with sunglasses on gave off the similar muddled energy. With another tendril he wrenched Dust’s hood off, revealing a huge flower growing in his eye socket.

Killer and Horror gagged.

“what the heck is that?! has that always been there?!” Killer gawked.

“Of course not,” Nightmare grumbled. The same tendril wrapped around the flower as best as it could.

“Oh buddy, I wouldn't do that if I were you,” Fresh said, his glasses spelling “DO NOT”.

“Try me.” He yanked.

The flower snapped off with such a force that threw Dust’s head back.

Nightmare dropped him to inspect the flower, letting him fall to the floor with a loud thud.

Dust’s eyelights sparked on with a gasp that soon turned into a scream as he reached for his eye sockets as if the flower was still there, not even bothering to put his hood back on.

Killer and Horror’s eyes were wide open and their mouths were agape at the display. They’ve never expected to see Dust lose his cool like this. They weren't expecting to see many things that were happening today.

They were just trying to go shopping. How did it turn into this?!

“Shut up, Dust,” Nightmare ordered. As he inspected the flower, his grasp on Fresh tightened.

“Homeslice, I’m sure this hurts. You mind loosening up a bit?” Fresh asked.

He was answered with a smack on the head by another tendril, which knocked his glasses off. Lo and behold there was a similar flower residing inside his skull.

His glasses were like a mask, once they were off his entire facade crumbled away.

“What are you?” Nightmare asked. He tore the flower up with his hands and let the pieces litter the ground.

“That's not your business.” Fresh slipped out of the tentacle’s grasp with ease like it wasn't just strangling him.

The other glasses-wearing skeletons dug and clawed with their hands into the tentacles holding them up.

Dust scrambled upright to get away from him and closer to Nightmare.

Fresh picked up his shades and put them back on. “Now I suggest you bounce on outta here and let me do my thing. Or things are gonna get not so family friendly.”

Nightmare hardly seemed fazed by the damage done to his tentacles, but if this kept up they’ll be able to escape from his grasp. One thing was clear, he wasn't in control of this situation and Fresh did not want him taking the other three out of here.

He moved Killer and Horror closer to himself in defiance. He could leave these three to rot, find others exactly like them, but he just found these three. He didn't want to go through the hassle of wrangling more Sanses so soon. And he was not going to let someone else mooch off of his efforts.

“we're running, right? we’re not fighting this freak,” Killer whispered to him.

Dust looked up at him, almost pleadingly.

If this was any other time, he would've had them fight for his entertainment, but this was not the time, unfortunately.

He put Horror and Killer down. The three of them were absolutely terrified.

If he portaled right now, there was a high chance Fresh would be able to follow them. They had to get some distance first.

He tossed the other skeletons in his grasp across the store and broke the wall behind him.

Dust, Horror, and Killer didn't waste any time sprinting outside of the store through the broken wall.

Nightmare’s tentacles promptly snatched and threw Fresh to the back of the store for good measure before following after the three.

He opened up a portal to the castle ahead. The millisecond the four of them were through the portal snapped closed.

Killer face planted against the grass as if he was hugging the ground.

Horror brushed himself off, seemingly checking for any flowers on his clothes.

Dust had his hands clenched tightly around the edges of his hood as if he’d die if it was ever off again.

All of them felt like utter shit, and for once, Nightmare didn't particularly enjoy that.

He was…unnerved. His knowledge of the multiverse was even more limited than he thought it was. Before that encounter he assumed the only major threats were Ink, Error, and his brother.

There were so many skeletons under this “Fresh’s” control. How far could his influence spread? Could he control him?

He didn't want to think about it.

“Dust,” he said blankly, “Are you…” How did he want to phrase this? He already knew if he was okay or not, he could sense it. “You are completely free of that parasite’s influence, correct?”

Dust gave a weak nod.

At least it seemed reversible, but maybe that was only because of how quickly it was removed. Needless to say, the second they see that freak again they're out of there.

“fuck man, how’d that thing get you?” Killer asked. “you were by my side the whole time.”

Dust just shrugged. Whether he wasn't actually sure or just too tired to explain, he couldn't tell.

“...god dammit!” Killer yelled. “we forgot the clothes. ugh, whatever. at least i have a new hoodie.” He let out a weak laugh. “i survived an encounter against this parasite and all i got was this sixty dollar hoodie.”

Horror glared at Nightmare. “so you don't know about everything. you're not an all-knowing god.”

“I never said I was.”

“so how much do you know? is there anything else like that out there?”

Nightmare paused. Thinking of a thoughtful response. “I am not aware of everything that goes on in the multiverse. That threat we encountered was entirely unfamiliar to me. There may be more. Cease the image of me as an all-knowing god. I might as well know as much as you.”

“hah! you totally could’ve left us, huh?” Killer pointed out. He knows he would’ve.

“It would’ve been a hassle,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“aw, so you do care about us,” he said.

Nightmare was taken aback. He wasn't sure how true or not that was. “Define ‘care’,” he said skeptically.

Killer wasn't expecting that response. “i was joking. people who care for each other don't put them in shitty situations.”

“...I see.” In that case, Nightmare doubted he had the capacity to care for anyone. “Do any of you three care for each other?”

That made Killer burst out into laughter. He looked at Horror and Dust to check if they were as amused as he was at the question.

Horror just looked offended at the question while Dust was unreadable as he typically was.

#utmv fic

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cupidlovesastro · 11 months

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Astrology observations #2 (based on my experience!)

⭐️if it doesn’t apply to you keep scrolling! (maybe a different one will) :)⭐️

❀if you have a lot of pisces placements, neptune dominant, or uranus dominant, you might’ve been obsessed with mythical creatures/ mythology at a young age. you could’ve been a hardcore believer in mermaids or fairies!🧚🏻‍♀️✨

❀if you ever wonder why people might guess your sun or rising sign wrong, it could be what degrees your sun sign and rising sign are in! for example if you’re a libra rising to the 17th degree (leo) you can come off more intense, loud speaking, or a lot of jokes. it can change your demeanor, or vibes a little bit🎀🫧

❀ i noticed that people with fire mercury, and water venus, can like music that has a lot of emotion, intensity, or even sexual energy! they may like, childish gambino, adele, billie eilish, deftones! also, genres like r&b or rock🎶🎵

❀i noticed a lot of sagittarius suns will make judgements on a whim😭. 💨🪡

❀ venus (taurus/ libra) dominant/ placements definitely love looking at themselves in the mirror! they might also enjoy dancing in the mirror if they have air in their big 6💃🏽🪞

❀ someone who has a water mars in 9h can get overheated when debating. they care a lot about their beliefs, and they might get their feelings hurt if someone disagrees with them because they really hold their beliefs close to them 🪄🧠

❀taurus mercuries might have a deeper voice(regardless of gender), but a also very attractive voice!🩷🌿

❀gemini children were the kind of children to run around dressed up as some kind of character

❀cancer/pisces children were definitely always playing with dolls/ figurines

❀sagittarius children were either the one causing trouble, or participating in trouble with their sibling

❀capricorn children probably enjoyed doing things alone or by themselves

❀libra risings enjoy changing there aesthetic pretty often. one week they might be 90’s grunge and the next week they are cyber y2k 🩷✨

❀people with scorpio in big 3, especially scorpio sun or rising know they look good in darker colors! it just fits them so well and most scorpios i’ve known, enjoy aesthetics that have a lot of black, dark red, or dark purple🥀🔮

❀i noticed some capricorn risings have a earthy/ grunge aesthetic! like a lot of dark greens, browns, beige, blacks! they also might be into older fashion eyeliner, or make up!🍃🪵

❀i see that a lot of virgo risings either dress pretty casual, and sometimes even like motherly/fatherly. virgo rising girls take sooo much care into their looks when they do try tho! there was this one girl i knew in high school, she used to wear make up every single day and she always put so much effort and precision into her make up looks. one time she came to school and had the upper half of her face covered in rhinestones! (she was a virgo rising)⭐️✨

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batneko · 5 months

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it occurred to me that bowuigi would make for really good sentinel-and-guide AUs

(for those who don't know, The Sentinel was a 90's show about a guy with heightened senses and protective instincts, which make him a natural defender of humanity but can also be overwhelming. His nerdy partner who provided most of the exposition was eventually revealed to be a "guide" who has the power to soothe and support him. It had an extremely dedicated fandom and robust shipping community, which led to Sentinel AUs being super popular until A/B/O AUs eventually eclipsed them.

The basics are: Character A has super-senses and tends to be protective and territorial, but they have panic attacks/migraines/whatever because of their powers. Character B is a calming presence and often feels compelled to help Character A despite any personal differences they might have. It's important to note that the connection between sentinels and guides is not inherently sexual, though there's a lot of touching involved so if there's any attraction at all between the characters it can get awkward. Usually in the AU sentinel and guide powers are Known Abilities with support systems and sometimes even a matchmaking service in place, despite it being rare and unknown in the show.)

So for the obvious version we've got Sentinel Bowser and Guide Luigi. Bowser is an extremely powerful sentinel which means very few people can challenge him, but his instincts have driven him to conquer more and more territory over the years and he's starting to feel stretched thin. He's had guide partners before but his personality problems drive them away before too long, so he keeps a few in rotation and tries not to get attached.

He "fell in love" with Peach because her guide abilities are so strong he feels comfortable around her without either of them even trying. And since he only tends to see Luigi when Peach is also there (either kidnapped or at a group event) he doesn't notice that Luigi is a guide at all for a long time.

Until one day he has an attack in public, and since he's likely to lash out in that condition everyone keeps their distance - except Luigi. Who rushes to his side and holds his hand and rubs his brow until Bowser is able to come back to himself.

Bowser is stunned that someone he thought of as an enemy would help him so easily, as if it's the obvious thing to do. But he's also embarrassed that Mario's brother of all people had to take care of him in such a vulnerable position. He gets it into his head that the only way to save face here is if he acts like it's not embarrassing at all and that now he wants Luigi to be his full time guide partner.

This is definitely going to go great!

And then the reverse, Sentinel Luigi and Guide Bowser. Mario and Luigi are both sentinels, but they're so used to relying on and covering for each other that neither of them has ever needed a guide... Or at least they've convinced themselves they don't need one, until they're both falling at Princess Peach's feet as all the tension they've built up over the years drains away all at once.

Pretty soon it becomes clear that Peach and Mario have a connection that Peach and Luigi don't, and Luigi makes excuses to leave the two of them alone as often as he can. Which leaves him both without a guide and without his partner, putting up with all the stress and sensory stimulation on his own. He handled it before, right? He can handle it now.

Then he (literally) runs into Bowser and, just like with Peach, collapses to his knees at the sudden rush of relief. Bowser is like "not that I don't enjoy this kind of thing, but what the hell?" before he senses Luigi's distress and realizes he's a sentinel. It makes sense given how strong the brothers are, but he'd never really thought about how that kind of thing works for humans.

And, though he tells himself he shouldn't care if Luigi is struggling or not, he's not entirely heartless. Bowser scoops Luigi off the floor and lets him spend the rest of the day with him, eventually saying he's doing it because it'll be funny to have Luigi owe him a favor.

Luigi says okay. Bowser is baffled by how quickly he agreed. Either he was really really suffering, or he's so nice of a guy that he doesn't even fathom how easily Bowser can take advantage of him.

Well, it's not like it costs Bowser anything to keep him around. And it does actually feel good to be a guide instead of a king for once. Bowser decides to keep racking up "favors" until he thinks of the best way to use them, probably against Mario, or maybe to get into the Mushroom Kingdom.

Sure, once he gets that payoff Luigi will probably never forgive him and never want to see him again, but it'll be worth it... right?

#bowuigi #luigi #bowser #super mario bros #luwser #bowigi #green shell #sentinel au #free idea #au idea

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dre6ming · 5 months

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Christmas tree shopping

The delicate beginning rush

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warnings: smut, sex, explicit content, mentions of blood, crying, bad family relationships, fluff

Word count: ~3000

Plot: Christmas tree shopping puts a small dent into your heart considering the past, so when Austin asks that you do it together, you have some holdbacks.

I love Christmas! And that's that. I've always loved it, ever since I could understand the concept of it. I adore the buzz of the crowd searching for gifts, the smell of Christmas foods, the decorations, the songs, the movies. I mean you'd have to have a big lump of coal for a heart to not like Christmas. But with all my love for this time of the year, this year I'm just not feeling it.

As I walk the crowed streets of New York all on my own, with my big fluffy scarf covering most of my face, I look around at the stores wondering where I could go next, dreading going home, where Austin waits for me so we can go Christmas tree shopping. When he proposed the idea that we go together, I just nodded and smiled, but in my heart a big hole was being uncovered. I used to go Christmas tree shopping with my dad, some of my favorite memories with him, are of us choosing a tree, setting it up in the living room and decorating it together. Those were some of the best hours in the whole year. But then the divorce happened right before Christmas, no one bought a Christmas tree, I didn't even bother decorating that year, I stayed over at Timmy's house, then the year after that, was mine and Austin's first Christmas together, but he was with his family and I went again to Timmy's house.

This year though, he wants us to have a Christmas together together. He suggested that we spend it over at his LA home, but Christmas is supposed to be cold and wet and snowy, not sunny and hot, so we are going to have a small party at my apartment on the 25th, until then he wants all the Christmas stuff to be done. Which I'm more than happy to do, but I was hoping we'd get a fake tree from Amazon or something.

I feel my phone vibrate in the pocket of my coat and I know I can't ignore him, or he will get worried, so I sigh, taking the phone out and answering the call. "Hi, Aus! I'm still looking at a few shops, they've got really nice things out here, I bought some stuff." I lie, having not bought even a single thing. "Don't worry darling, I was just checking in, what do you say, I come get you with the car and then we go to the Christmas tree market?" He asks so sweetly, it hurts my heart. "Um actually I don't know, I don't think I'm gonna be much longer, so just wait for me back at the apartment." I hate the anticipation of the disappointment in his voice. "That's fine Y/n, just be safe, I love you!" I close my eyes and rub my temple with my free hand, feeling a headache creep it's way to me. "Love you too!" I cut the call short and keep walking, smiling as I spot the rusty old sign from Frank's record store.

As I enter the smell of cinnamon and chocolate, hits me, soft jazz playing in the background. The store looks empty today, except for Frank, sitting behind the counter, reading a book. As the door bell rings he looks up from his book and smiles at me, getting up to come hug me. "Hey kid, haven't seen you in a hot minute. Though I've heard plenty of you. I never knew fruitcake makes you sick" he laughs, referencing my latest album, a Christmas ep called fruitcake. "Very funny!" I giggle, unwrapping the scarf from my neck and undoing some of the buttons on my coat.

"Well I've been busy, but I'm home for the holidays." I say, looking around, skimming through some of the new records he has in store. "Hm I bet you're busy, touring arenas and all. Hey kid look what I have here." Frank says as he goes to the back and brings out a mysterious vinyl. "It's a first edition. A mix done on vinyl in the 90's, all your favorites are on here." He explains, replacing the vinyl he had one with the new one he brought. "Last Christmas I have you my heart.." the song starts playing and I start singing along.

"Want some hot cocoa?" Frank asks, putting the closed sign on the door, as I take of my coat to be a bit more comfortable. "Of course I want some, extra-" "-Whipping cream, I know" he finishes my sentence, making both of us laugh. As Frank goes to make the hot cocoa, I take my phone out and text Austin.

Hey, something came up, I'm over at Roxy's place. Can we reschedule?

Austin

Sure, hope everything is alright. Love you 💜🧶

Ofc, love you too

I hate lying to him, but I just don't feel like having a therapy session right now. "Hmm perfect!" I smile taking the cup from Frank and drinking some of the delicious hot beverage. "So any big plans for Christmas this year?" He asks, and I start telling him all about the dinner me and Austin are hosting for friends and family.

Before I knew it I had spent a few good hours over at Frank's store and then I had to call Matt to come get me with the car and drive me back home, as it had gone dark outside. So now I'm in the elevator, watching the buttons of each floor light up, until we get to number 10. I walk in and the whole place is quiet, no sight of Austin or any cats, so I guess that he must be sleeping. Tiptoeing to my room I find Austin sleeping on the bed with Simba and William cuddled up to him. Walking into the closet I try to make as little sound as possible and I start to take off my clothes.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and I let out a small scream, startled for a moment. "Shh it's me" Austin whispers against my ear, kissing down my neck, I lean into him and reach my hand back, to comb through his thick hair. "It's ok.." I moan as he sucks the skin right above my collarbone. His hands travel down my abdomen and unbutton my jeans, his right hand sliding down between my legs, into my underwear. "Austin.." I sigh, putting all my weight on him. "Shh, don't talk." Austin says

He's skilled fingers work me like magic, his left arm tight around my waist holding me up, as he plugs a finger into me. I gasp, fisting his hair, as he moves slowly inside me. "Shh no talking." He repeats, after I try to moan his name again. This is something we've never done before, he usually likes me talking during sex, and he encourages me to be vocal, but this time he wants me to be quiet.

I'm lost in my train of thought and don't realize the moment he pulls his hand away and picks me up, taking me to the bed. "Aus?" I ask concerned as he removes my jeans but not my panties. He looks at me, but there's no tenderness like before, he looks mad? "No talking." Is all he says, as he takes off his clothes and puts on a condom, getting on top of me. "Aus baby, is something wrong?" I ask touching his face. A faint smile crosses his face and a glimmer of something sweet shows up in his eyes. My heart beats at a thousand miles per hour and I'm aroused as ever, but something is off.

"Nothings wrong, I just want to feel you." He says, kissing me, his hands going back to their ministrations. We move in sink and I reach behind me to unclasp my bra. Austin's hands go immediately to my breasts, kneading and pinching my nipples. "Fuck!" He grunts as I sneak my hand down and pump his cock, touching his tip to my covered pussy, wishing right now there was no thin layer of cotton between us.

"Please!" I beg as his head nudges at my wet pussy, brushing against my clit, sending electric shocks up my spine. "Fucking hell!" Austin curses, guiding his hand between us, to push my panties to the side, quickly sliding into me. I wince in pain, as he usually takes his time opening me up, but this time he seems to be in a hurry. His lips find mine and he swallows my whimpers. When he's all the way in, he stills and waits for me to give him the ok to move. After a few moments of sitting like this conjoined, with my legs around his waist, my hand in his hair and his around my waist, something changes, something in him, he starts feeling warm and soft, unlike the cold stiff feeling he was giving me before, it's like he melts into me.

His hands moves up my body, wrapping tightly around me. "I'm sorry!" He says in a broken voice. "It's ok, doesn't hurt anymore, please move." I say caressing his cheek, encouraging him to pull his hips back. When his pelvis meets mine again, fireworks sparkle behind my closed eyelids. Austin starts a slow pace, each time going deeper and deeper if that were possible. The room is filled my muffled moans and skin slapping noises, as both of us feel closer and closer to the sweet release. "Shit Austin, I need more, please!" I beg arching my back to give him a new angle.

Austin groans in my ear and picks up the pace, placing one hand behind my head on the pillow and the other on my clit, rubbing slow circles. "I love you! I love you so much!" I say, feeling closer to my orgasm, my walls spasm around hid twitching cock. "Fuck!" His voice sound strangled and he moves faster, sloppier. "I love you I love you Iloveyou!" I say over and over again and over again. He keeps his moves fast and rhythmic, I curl my toes and pull on his hair, my orgasm wrecking through my body, tingling head to toe. Austin keeps moving until I feel him tens and he cums moaning into my shoulder.

We sit a few minutes tangled together, breathing in sink, his heart thudding against my chest. The without a word, Austin pulls out, leaving me empty, getting up and going to the bathroom. I'm left staring at the ceiling, wondering what this whole experience was just weird. I sit up in bed and wrap myself in my fluffy robe, getting up, going to the kitchen to drink some water.

I keep thinking what just happened, I can't imagine what must have happened to make Austin act like this. It's not that the sex didn't feel good, it did, but it felt like he was somewhere else, or at lest trying to be somewhere else. "Are you hungry ?" I jump at Austin's voice, dropping the glass of water on the floor. Without thinking I try to reach for the broom, to clean this up, but I step on a shard of glass. "Aw, fuck fuck!" I let out, holding onto the counter, lifting my leg up to see if the cut is bad. It's only a small shard, so the cut is barely a graze, but blood is already coming out of it. "Don't move!" Austin warns, walking around the broken glass and water, coming next to me. He puts both hands on my waist and lifts me up on the counter, the going to clean the mess I made.

We sit in silence, as he cleans and I feel the blood dripping down my foot. When he's done, he goes away and I start thinking if he just left me here, which I know is stupid, but my brain can't stop making weird scenarios up. "Show me your leg!" Austin says, kneeling down in front of me, cleaning my wound and putting a bandage over it. "All done!"

"Are you mad at me?" I ask at the same time as he speaks and he blushes, looking the other way, avoiding my eyes. "Where were you today?" He asks and as I open my mouth to answer he interrupts me. "Don't lie, Roxy came over, thinking you were here." I sigh and jump off from the counter, ignoring the pain in my leg. I wobble a little bit, despite my best effort, so Austin puts his hands up around me, ready to catch me if anything were to happen. I look him up and down, thinking about what I could say, I could just tell him the truth, but I haven't really told him much about mine and my dad's relationship. He waits patiently for me to answer and the way his arms are still around me, like waiting for a hug, makes me want to melt right into him, but I choose the childish part of me, pushing him away and walking past him.

"Did something happen?" His voice sounds like an echo and for a moment I feel like he didn't even speak and it was all my imagination. I turn around slowly, looking at his face, his eyes are read, teary. "Aus-"

"I know you weren't at Roxy's place, you didn't answer your phone, you were out shopping all day and yet, came back with no bags or nothing." Austin's hands are shaking, so I walk up to him slowly, taking his hands in mine, but he takes a step back, pulling away, which breaks my heart. "Can we sit down? I can explain everything." He shakes his head and I close my eyes taking a deep breath, preparing for the things I'm about to say.

"I was at Franks store, I did go out to buy somethings, but my head was somewhere else so I didn't get anything, just walked around." I start saying and he fiddles around with his hands. "Why?"

"I wanted to go Christmas tree shopping, but it just it hurt to much. I haven't gone shopping with anyone other than my dad, it was our thing, but I'm no longer a part of his life and it's, it's like slowly learning how to breathe again." His face saddens more, but this time, the sadness is pointed my way, and I appreciate his empathy, but I'd like if he'd stop. "I'm sorry I really am, it's just been hard on me to.." my voice breaks down and I lick my lips, tasting the salt of my tears.

Austin closes the distance between and hugs me tight. "You should have told me, I'm sorry, we don't have to go if you don't feel like it, baby" he says rubbing my back, holding me close to him. "I think if you go with me , I could do it. " he chuckles, kissing the top of my head and we stand hugging for a moment.

"Aus?" I ask softly something still on my mind. "Yeah?" "Is something wrong, you felt a little cold, you know, earlier." I feel him stiffen a bit, so I wiggle out of his arms to look up at him. "Well I was worried about you and my sister told me that she and the kids are down with some virus and can’t make it to Christmas, so I was just filled to the brim with worry." I smile at him, touching his hair lightly, placing some flyaway hairs back. "Oh my baby, want some hot cocoa? And how about we bake something?" I say, walking back to the kitchen counter and getting things ready for a feel better night. "Your butter cookies? With orange?" He asks puppy eyed, making me giggle. "Well I did just buy some oranges yesterday, so why even ask?" I say putting milk on the stove to warm up and already measuring the right amount of flour and sugar.

Between finishing the hot cocoa and adding the flour to the dough, someone decided to start a fight with flour, so we're now laughing, picking flour from our hair, as the cookies rise. "You're such a child." I chuckle, wiping his nose. "I just couldn't help myself" he shrugs, smirking at me.

The next morning we wake up as late as we can and now we're enjoying a shower together. His hands wash my skin tenderly, massaging all the stiff spots. "I don't think I'll ever get bored of washing your hair!" He admits, bubbling the shampoo between his hands, then applying it to my hair. "Well I'll never get bored of you washing my hair, so lucky for you!"

After what must have been the slowest start of day in months, we finally enter the Christmas tree market, hand in hand. Being here does feel weird without my dad, but not as bad as I thought. Austin squeezes my hand three times and that calms me a bit, so I take a deep breath, looking at all the trees. "Can we get a huge one?" I ask already having my eye on one. "I was thinking smaller, but whatever you want." He says, looking the opposite way the trees that are way too small for my liking. "How about two trees?" I suggest, smiling at him.

"Honey I don't think we'll fit in the elevator with this." Austin says, as he pull down the tree that's almost twice his height, from the roof of my heel. Driving around New York with this on top of the car was of course something out of a comedy. "So up the stairs?" I ask hoping he'd say "no"

"I think so." He sighs, looking with dread at the staircase door. "Ok then.." I say defeated, locking the car and getting ready to help him.

Around the 2nd floor it feels like I'm dying, we decided that best way was for me to go up pulling and him pushing form down. "I think we're going somewhere." I encourage, already cursing myself for not going to the gym enough. Austin laughs, form somewhere behind the tree branches. "Yeah the North Pole!" He jokes

On the 10th floor we stop at the door of the apartment, him in better shape than me, but still just as tired. "You have no idea how lucky you are I love you!" Austin says, kissing my cheek. "I love you too!"

"Is it straight?" Austin asks from under the tree, trying to place it in the tree stand. "A little to the left!" I instruct. "My left? Or your left?" He asks, out of breath. "Mine, ugh no, yours. I don't know, can you get out of from there?" I ask and he comes to sit next to me. The tree is still very much crooked, but I think I like it this way. "I think I like it this way!" Austin says, rubbing my back. I snuggle into his side and stand on my tippy toes to kiss him. "I think I agree!"

"I think I love you!" He says, picking me up and spinning me around. "Did you notice that you kinda picked a tree looking like me and I picked one looking like you?" Austin jokes again, but as I look at the two Christmas trees, now realizing that the very obvious height difference does resemble the one me and Austin have between us. "I think we just did the funniest thing." I admit, going to the boxes on the floor and taking an ornament out, placing it in the smaller tree Austin chose. "Merry Christmas, y/n! I love you!" Austin says, placing and ornament in the tree I picked. "Merry Christmas Austin, I love you too!"

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#the delicate beginning rush series #the delicate beginning rush head canons #the delicate beginning rush imagine #the delicate beginning rush #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler fic #austin butler fanfiction #austin #austin butler fans #austin butler love #austin butler instagram #austin butler smut #austin butler imagine #austin fanfic #austin butler fanfic #christmas

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yandere-kokeshi · 2 years

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Yandere Kiribaku with a pregnant darling

Warnings: Yandere behavior and pregnancy.

Authors note: All my characters are aged up to 21+. Please enjoy!

They’ve always wanted kids with you, wanting to have replicas running around and jumping on the bed early in the morning. So when the three of you find out, Katsuki is smiling like a proud man while Kirishima is jumping up and down; spinning you around, kissing your face.

From then on, they both treat you like pure glass, carved out of the most expensive reflector they’ve ever laid their eyes on. This means carrying you 90% of the time.

Already, the house is severely baby-proofed, but now… since you’re carrying a living being inside you, they’re taking extra precaution from now on. That means all the corners of the tables, hallway edges or anything that can ‘hurt you’ is covered up. Yes, even the sink and toilet is sanded down.

When your tummy starts to grow more, so does their protection and adoration. Kirishima becomes way more gentle with you, always near you and waiting for the call if you need something. He insists on carrying you everywhere, not wanting you to become stressed or pull a muscle. Katsuki, on the other hand, becomes the devil: he’s more protective and possessive than ever.

Katsuki is snapping at anyone, including Kirishima and is always preventing you from doing things that will make you groan or uncomfortable. He, the famous cook, mostly cooks for the meals, following recipes online that’ll help your pregnancy growth and improve your immune system.

They both are fairly paranoid, always wanting to see a doctor twice or three times a month. They always demand the best doctors and nurses, they both will come along and ask ‘important’ questions: “Is it normal for them to have extreme cravings? Are you sure? They craves spicy things, which I learned is bad for the baby online. Listen–”

Fights rarely happen between the three of you but due to your hormones and their possessiveness… they bicker way more. They both fight over stupid things: who gets to deliver the food to the bedroom, who starts the shower, who gets to rub your feet and who gets to touch your tummy; the list goes on about the things.

Speaking of touching stomachs, they both love to touch and talk to your tummy! Even when it’s small and the bump isn’t noticeable. Kirishima normally drags shapes along the sides of your hips and tummy, while kissing it. Katsuki will get on his knees and kiss it, maybe rub into it affectionately, almost like a cat. Though, when your tummy starts to get bigger, they will speak to the ‘brat(s)’ and tell it to knock it off for being rousey and not letting you get your beauty sleep.

This also gives them a reason for you to wear their clothes. They love to see their outfits on you, including their boxers and hoodies.

They both love to take care of you! Kirishima normally does the massages, lays down your ‘nest’ (grab your pillows and favorite blanket), and buys any cravings you have at that moment. While, Katsuki helps you make your favorite meals, clean the entire house, offer to do some yoga with him, and lets you sleep in as much as you want.

They don't care what gender the baby is, sure, they’d like to have little girls with pretty eyes and hair but they also wouldn’t mind boys as rowdy as they are.

You never get punished for doing things because of your pregnancy. If you decide to ‘act up’ or try to run away, you get away with it as Kirishima’s delusional state convinces him that you’re only doing so because of your hormones. Katsuki sees it but also goes alongside Kirishima, saying that ‘if you wanted to go outside, why didn’t you ask us?’

The cuddling is… to say the least: a mess. They both want to make sure you’re warm and comfortable, meaning that they both are practically laying on you. Kirishima is always cupping your stomach, kissing your neck whilst Katsuki is either laying on your thighs and grasping at your bottom or blowing raspberries on your belly.

When it comes to your last quarter of the pregnancy, they will be frantic and ready for you to pop like a balloon any minute. The minute you start to groan, they think the worst and grab the hospital bag, carrying you bridesmaid way before realizing you just sat up.

—

Masterlist | Stay well and stay hydrated!!

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

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findafight · 2 years

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Steddie au where Eddie's band hits it big and while he establishes that he is very private with his life but every now and then he slips some info about his long term partner. Like how wonderful and great but kinda dumb they are and then occasionally drop bombs like said partner owning a nail covered bat or beating up murderous shitheads in their Youth tm or how they were somehow involved in taking down a secret Russian base?? (Details very unclear) or how they protected a bunch of kids from...something? so most everyone who doesn't know him personally thinks Eddie's girlfriend (they assume tho he is very careful to never mention gender) is also in the metal scene and fucking hardcore as hell. Nice.

And then he comes out and is like this is my partner Steve :) and it's the most generic suburb dad photo of Steve imaginable with loafers and 90's dad patterned sweater and his hair all nice and he looks like the most Just Some Guy ever with no nail covered bat or chains in sight. And people are like him??? HE has a bat studded with rusty nails in his closet? He's the one that almost got rabies biting a bat that was attacking him? This guy? The cognitive dissonance almost over powers the homophobia tbh

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #steve x eddie #finda’s rambles #i think this is funny. also this is a redo because my first post didnt show up iin tags so hopefully this does

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comfortfoodcontent · 8 months

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THE COMFORT FOOD COMICS CANON

Some of you may recall my old website www.comfortfoodcomics.com , where I really wanted to explore that special personal connection to comic books. There are so many comics and everyone has so many opinions and stories relating to the ones they love the most that end up getting extremely personal. I love that aspect of this unique art form. The way certain issues or story arcs crawl into one's brain and soul and stay there forever. The way comics become synonymous with certain memories, time periods, people or places in our lives. I love that. I don't want to read or hear reviews or scholarly, pretentious drivel about the "GREATEST COMICS EVER!!!". What I want is to write and read about those special comics that rise to the top of your thoughts unbidden for a lifetime. Not necessarily the best crafted books ever, but those ones that ride or die with us. The ones that we revisit over and over again. The ones that make us happy and provide excitement and solace and everything in between. Our Comfort Food Comics.

Recently I've been filling some essential longboxes and painfully wracking my brain as to what of my Comfort Food Comics would make the cut to be in these boxes. It's been fun narrowing down which ones bring me that special feeling I described above and adding them to the box. As I go through this journey, I thought I'd blabber a little about it as a personal record of sorts for me. Above you'll find my "Comfort Food Comics Canon" - Dave Shevlin's personal comics canon, the selections that comprise my comics DNA. Quintessentially my shit! I'll continuously update the lists in the graphics above when new or revisited picks make that difficult cut.

Below the cut I wrote a brief bit about each pick. If you want me to specifically expand on the why of a certain choice, please ask and I'll get to it quicker or expand more on it per your request!

Please note these are just the story arcs and single issues that I physically own each issue of that really lend themselves to that format and they are nestled safely in the CFC longbox. Plenty of other OGN's, runs, longer arcs, manga or other formats are also my Comfort Food Comics but don't apply here.

EDIT!!!! - I WILL NO LONGER BE UPDATING THIS PIECE ON TUMBLR - GO TO THIS PAGE FOR ALL FUTURE UPDATES PLEASE

Long Form Stories

New Warriors Vol. 1 #40-42: Mark Bagley and Darick Robertson deliver a gorgeous looking mega epic that takes the Warriors into space and levels up Dick Rider for a spinoff solo series. They actually hyped this story up and released it and Nova #1 in a Marvel Classics Collector's Pack in the 90's. I of course own that.

The Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 1 #31-33: THE Marvel Comic. Spider-Man pushes the heavy weight of every problem life throws at him to face his responsibility. The best Lee/Ditko story.

Secret Defenders #9-10: Tom Grindberg inked by Don Hudson is one of the best penciller/inker team-ups ever. Together they made unique magic they never achieved apart. Here they draw Thunderstrike and War Machine in a team-up of 90's replacement heroes vs Nebula. It rules.

Marvel Knights 4 #1-4: Steve McNiven, despite only doing some of this series, it's covers, and some moments in Civil War, is one of my de facto Fantastic Four artists. I also love the hook of the FF going bankrupt and kicked out of their science skyscraper and what happens next. Also that Sue as a teacher, ooowhee!

The Girl Presents: Body Heat #1-3: As a teen in the oughts delving into porn comics of the era, Kevin Taylor was the GOAT. This mini collects a bunch of what I consider to be the best stuff he's ever done.

Thunderbolts Vol. 1 #155-157: My personal highpoint from maybe the best run on Tbolts. A very snarky, fun and titillating Satana is recruited to Luke Cage's merry band of misfits. Kev Walker's best work is on this run.

Detective Comics Vol. 1 #622-624: 622's copy text tells all: "There's a new Batman in Gotham City. His name is Simon Petrarch, he has supernatural powers, and he believes in killing his enemies. What happened to Bruce Wayne? Where is the Batman we all know?" John Ostrander gives us a comic within a comic as a Gotham citizen makes his own comic about Batman. Ostrander didn't get many chances to write Bats, but when he did he killed it. The only Mike McKone art I've ever enjoyed. Highlighted by Dick Sprang doing INSANE covers in 1990 that also serve as covers for the fake comic.

Action Comics #858-863: Superman and The Legion of Super-Heroes! Supes travels to the 31st Century to see it's become a perverted dystopia. Geoff Johns and Gary Frank give us a colorful, action packed blockbuster that firmly reestablishes Superman and the original Legion, as it should be.

Avengers Vol. 1 #358-359: My beloved Bob Harras 90's Jacket Avengers are whisked away to Polemachus to help Arkon and Thundra. The Steve Epting/Tom Palmer art team give us some amazing art here, including the best page of Crystal ever published.

Gen 13 Vol. 2 #13A-13C: Grunge has a dream adventure where he teams up with Archie, Betty, Veronica, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Spawn, Bone, Madman, Maxx, Hellboy, Shi, Katchoo and Francine, Monkeyman & O'Brien, Wolverine, Tony Robbins and many more. A 90's comic industry meta joke romp.

Green Lantern Vol. 3 #48-55: Emerald Twilight/New Dawn. Hal Jordan's fall into Parallax and the debut of Kyle Rayner. Kyle is my favorite DC character and this is in contention for my favorite DC story. It's biggest failing is it is so rushed (I delve deep into why here), but amidst that fast paced chaos, DC gets it's own Magneto and it's own Spider-Man. Just the best!

The Amazing Spider-Man #498-500: Spidey is magically cast adrift outside of time. But in order to get back, he needs to relive every experience he’s ever had as he climbs his own timeline. So much to love here - Last Stand Spidey, glimpses of his whole history, John Romita Sr. drawing a reunion with Uncle Ben. The pinnacle of the JMS and JR Jr. run.

First Knife aka Protector #1-5: Arguably the best world building I've ever come across in comics. Inspired sci-fi realism story blended with Artyom Trakhanov's otherworldly, surrealist, almost cubism like style.

The Incredible Hulk Vol. 1 #402-404: Gary Frank's 90's style he employed with Marvel UK and this Hulk run is about as good as comic art could possibly get. I hate that he decided to add about a billion more lines to his gorgeous, clean art. Here he gets to draw Hulk's mindscape of villains, Juggernaut, Red Skull, and the 90's Harras Avengers. Great bits with them in these issues. God, it is good! (It drives me insane though they color Sersi correctly red in 403, then botch it and color her green in 404! ARGHH!!)

JLA Volume 1 #10-14: Rock of Ages! The best Justice League story. Morrison blends every bit of 90's DCU with his own crazy creative mind to create an alltimer. Almost a proto Final Crisis, this one is more like the awesome Saturday Morning Cartoon version of that story.

Journey into Mystery Vol. 1 #652-655: Kathryn Immonen, one of comics' most underrated creators, gave us an all too brief Sif solo book here that was one of the best Marvel books ever. This is the highlight of that run. In this one we get a Sif and Beta Ray Bill romance/horror story that meshes the new status quo of the time with their past relationship.

Sabretooth Vol. 1 #1-4: Love Sabes, love Hama, and love obscure mutant Birdy, who essentially only ever got play in this mini. This is the 90's direct to VHS action movie starring Sabretooth, Birdy, Wolverine, Mystique and Graydon Creed.

Sandman Vol. 2 #21-28: The best story in Neil Gaiman's masterpiece. The introduction of The Endless followed by Lucifer abandoning Hell and getting his revenge on Dream by giving him the key and telling him to deal with it. Gaiman's clever takes on Gods and mythology are done so well here.

Daredevil Vol. 1 #275-276: A tie in to Acts of Vengeance, my favorite Marvel Event, during my favorite run on Daredevil. That's right, this is my favorite DD story. Batshit insanity as Ol Hornhead, some of the Inhumans, and an animal rights revolutionary battle an old Ultron robot that grapples with his own existence as he kidnaps a genetically altered, indestructible bimbo who is wrestling with the same issues. Ann Nocenti man, nobody did it better.

New Avengers Vol. 1 #1-6: When I was getting back into comics in my teens after taking a long time off, this was maybe the first title I bought monthly. Spider-Man and Wolverine....AVENGERS??? The roster, the David Finch art, the whirlwind breakout to Avengers Tower to the Savage Land, all of it hooked me back in so hard. This is the clear start of the Modern Marvel Universe as we know it. I was fully on board. Nowadays I know it spits in the face of what Avengers always was and should be; and it's filled with annoying Bendis continuity mistakes and terrible dialogue, but damn I love it regardless.

Thunderstrike Vol. 1 #4-6: I could put the entire run on Thunderstrike on this list (I kinda did!) but this is my favorite arc of his short lived title. Spider-Man and Eric team up for some weird Blackwulf(remember him) and SHIELD shenanigans. Frenz's art here is amazing and we have the best jokey covers during this arc.

The Infinity Gauntlet #1-6: Starlin, Perez and Lim continue the development of Thanos into one of Marvel's first event books. You'd expect it to be a big, dumb romp but it's really an entertaining 90's Marvel snapshot with loads of tiny spectacular character moments, huge stakes, and quiet emotional depth.

Gen 13: Magical Drama Queen Roxy: As much as I love the start of Gen 13 with J. Scott Campbell and Jim Lee, Adam Warren was the best to ever work on this team. This is a great character study of Freefall as we get a scathing parody of just about everything pop culture in the late 90's in that charming, hilarious way only Warren can do.

Wolverine Vol. 2 #38-42: Storm! Albert and Elsie-Dee! Sabretooth! Lady Deathstrike! Jubilee! Forge! The Reavers! Cable! Nick Fury! All by Larry Hama and Marc Silvestri. Easily the best Wolverine comics ever made.

Ultimate Spider-Man Vol. 1 #118-120: My favorite Ultimate Spidey story. The gang plus Johnny Storm and Iceman go to beach for a fun night out and Mutant shenanigans occur. This is sort of a precursor to the full house status quo of Ultimate Comics Spider-Man later, which I love dearly. I just love this big cast of teens hanging out and the fun that comes from it.

Green Lantern Vol. 3 #63-64: Parallax returns to get his ring back from Kyle and Kyle gets Hal's old Justice League pals back together to stop him.

Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 2 #290-294: The Legion vs Darkseid and his Servants, back when using a modern day villain against the Legion was a first. This is your big boy, the best of the best. Levitz and Giffen leveling up to reach their Legend status.

Ultimate Spider-Man Vol. 1 #33-38: Objectively this is probably the best story Bendis ever does with Ultimate Spidey. The Venom suit, Eddie Brock Jr., Peter's and Eddie's parents and the legacy they left their children - it's all wonderful stuff done in such a dour, moody way.

Shadow of the Batman (1985) #1-5: Baxter Stock reprints of primarily Steve Englehart's legendary Batman run with some Len Wein and some short Marshall Rogers extras. 40 pages no ads chock full of Walt Simonson, Al Milgrom, Rogers and Terry Austin art. All with new beautiful painted covers by Rogers. For me, this is the only way to experience this run.

Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #142-143: Dabney Donovan, Cadmus mad scientist, creates a miniature planet full of "atomic liquid" denizens who are shaped by outside stimuli, in this case, horror films, which spawns a race of Jack Kirby's Universal Monsters who start to cause trouble for Jimmy Olsen and Superman, before they save the day and Superman replaces the horror films with the musical, Oklahoma! King Kirby everybody!

Batman Vol. 1 #676-681: Batman R.I.P. My favorite Bats story of all time. The culmination of Morrison's weird and wacky attempt to take the character’s entire publishing history, say everything happened, and somehow reconcile that all together and show us what Batman would really be like - The world’s greatest superhero, an extremely multifaceted man at the top of his game and surrounded by a support net of people inspired by him who he loves, always ten steps ahead of any villain with contingencies for everything.

Superman Strength #1-3: My favorite Superman story. Scott McCloud, Aluir Amancio and Terry Austin give us a tale of what makes Superman so strong. It's not his powers, it's his inner strength, because he is centered and self assured from being raised by such formative, ethical, and truly good parents. That source of strength is contrasted by relatable everyman criminal, John “Fido” Pollock, the main villain here who had the exact opposite in life. I can't do it justice here, it needs to be read.

Daredevil Vol. 1 #319-325: Fall From Grace. Years ago I read the 90's trade of this story mid November and fell in love. So every November, every Thanksgiving is Daredevil season for me. Daredevil in his new suit goes through a gauntlet of big name guest stars every issue as well as the return of Elektra from Frank Miller's mountain purgatory. This story is bursting with raw, messy enthusiasm that doesn't always work but you feel that soul and love put in and get swept away by it. Although this story is better in trade with slight edits and added pages, it NEEDED to be here for me, plus I get a fold out awesome poster this way and I have it in the format of yet another rad 90's Collector's Pack.

Thor Vol. 1 #337-340: Walter Simonson and Beta Ray Bill's debut on Thor! This one is up there with Spider-Man #31-33 as the best story Marvel has ever put out. Simonson's Thor run is arguably the best run in comics and this opening salvo is S-Tier writing and art every single page.

Detective Comics Vol. 1 #592-593: Alan Grant and Norm Breyfogle's run on Detective is a real highpoint for Batman. He described this Detective run as ” We kind of handled what Batman did on his nights off from Batman monthly.” and I think that’s so perfect. Here is all the creepy, strange, fantastical events that take place in the dingy corners of Gotham City when Batman isn’t being a Justice League member superhero. No story represents that vibe better than this two parter with weird two-parter about a fear based hallucination causing cannibal.

Fantastic Four Vol. 1 #347-349: This is my top Fantastic Four story. I never had this one growing up but we did have the trading card when I was like 4 or 5 and this was a truly mythical thing I needed to experience. Years later when I was a preteen I stole my mom's credit card and bought these issues of the internet. It did not dissapoint. The New Fantastic Four team of Wolvie, Spidey, Grey Hulk and Danny Ketch Ghost Rider will always be the coolest thing they ever did. Walt Simonson & Art Adams, how do you possibly get better than that?

Wolverine Vol. 3 #73-74: Every day of Wolverine's week is expressed in one panel showing how he has his own solo book, how he is in X-Men, how he is in X-Force, how he is cameoing in everyone else's book, etc which eventually ends with him talking to Spider-Man in a bar. It's such a fun meta way of showing how overused he is and Aaron uses it as a story point that maybe the old man is tired and needs a rest. There's also a shitty Daniel Way story in these issues but skip that.

Batman vs Predator #1-3: This has no right being as exceptional as it is. Dave Gibbons writes and BOTH Kubert brothers are on art and they skip any irony or idiocy and give us a played straight story of what happens when a Yautja drops into Gotham City. SO GOOD!

Final Crisis: Superman Beyond 3D #1-2: Superman develop 4D-vision and teams with a group of Multiversal analogues of himself to fight against a reality consuming evil vampire Monitor, Mandrakk. Their combined powers allow Superman to merge into the Superman Colossus, a giant thought robot to combat the Dark Monitor in the Monitor’s world, in a self assembling hyper story that is alive and adapts around them. A thoughtful meta narrative about the power of stories, about creators and the ongoing real life comic industry.

Luke Cage, Hero For Hire Vol. 1 #8-9: Luke Cage invades Doom's Latverian castle to get the $200 bucks he owes him. Spawning legendary one liners such as: "Where's my money, Honey?" and "Ha ha ha ha!, You are the ultimate, Cage!"

Invincible #63-64: Usually I'm not a fan of all the bloody stupidly absurd violence in Invincible, but Atom Eve vs Conquest goes hard.

Axis: Hobgoblin #1-3: Roderick Kingsley Hobgoblin is my fave Spidey villain and this mini set when he was magically inverted into being an opportunistic brand pushing hero is loads of fun with very nice art by Javier Rodriguez.

Detective Comics Vol. 1 #604-607: MUDPACK! Another Grant/Breyfogle Detective gem. The OG Clayface, who was just an old actor with some masks, recruits every subsequent Clayface that had appeared over the years to level up and take down Bats. Looker from the Outsiders guest stars to help Batman.

Thor Vol. 1 #168-169: Thor and Galactus sit down together in space to talk and Big G gives us his origin. A Stan and Jack classic.

Adventure Comics Vol. #369-370: MORDRU! His first appearance in a wonderful story. The Legion represents a dream of a brighter future all about science, progress, youth and evolution all done through a massive group of selfless, heroic kids all from different planets and races that work together as one. Mordru is the perfect Legion villain because he is the diametric opposite of all that. He is an ancient singular wizard from the past that only cares about himself and his own needs that uses evil dark magic to further his goals.

Archie vs Predator #1-4: I don't care for Alex De Campi as a creator, and I care even less for her as a person. This story succeeds in spite of her, as her questionable decisions, poor dialogue and bizarre and truly stupid ending try their hardest to ruin this. Honestly, a monkey could've written the plot for this and I'd still be on board as I just need a Yautja hunting the Archie crew with all the good vibes classic Archie comics provide. Artist Fernando Ruiz thankfully provides just that saving this crossover and making it one of my faves. He is the true heavy lifting star here and he really makes this thing work retaining the humor and idyllic, innocent charm of Archie Comics and blending it with the bloody action and gore of a Predator story. Further proof he is the key ingredient here is the sequel they do to this without him is utterly forgettable nonsense.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight Vol. 1 #65-68: The best Joker story ever. J.M. DeMatteis tells the tale of Batman dying, which causes the Joker to go sane and what happens next.

Spider-Man: Web of Death - Amazing Spider-Man #397-398 and Spectacular Spider-Man #220-221: DeMatteis, DeFalco, Bagley, Buscema, Sienkiewicz! Easily the best Doctor Octopus story and constantly battling in my head for best Spider-Man story. Spider-Man is dying and who better to save him than his self proclaimed greatest foe, Doc Ock. A tragically poignant tale with expert characterization. Oh also it has Kaine and Stunner and Mary Jane announcing she's pregnant, so you know, it's just the best.

X-Men Vol. 2 #188-193: Rogue assembles a hand picked team to take on the new and mysterious Children of the Vault. Mike Carey's debut story arc with Chris Bachalo. This coincided with a linewide relaunch and as a newly graduated high school teen, it was a perfect personal jumping on point. Little did I know I was getting in on maybe the second best run on X-Men ever.

Kraven's Last Hunt - Web of Spider-Man #31–32, The Amazing Spider-Man #293–294, and Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #131–132: I've tried over and over again as a cynical critic to find ways to NOT hail this one as an alltimer classic, but try as I might, it is one of those much lauded stories that actually are indeed alltimer classics. DeMatteis, Zeck and McLeod dust off old lame Kraven, plug him into a sequel to a Captain America/Spidey Marvel Team-Up issue, and somehow make a masterpiece.

Wolverine Vol. 2 #7-8: Joe Fixit Hulk and Patch Wolverine have to team up in Madripoor by Chris Claremont and Big John Buscema. Awesome.

Thor vol. 1 #447-448: Eric Masterson Thor had such a fun little friendship with The Absorbing Man. In this one Absorbing Man's love, Titania, wants to go back to crime so he calls Eric to stage a fake rumble to trick and pacify her. But things go sideways when Spider-Man gets involved.

Superman: Blackout - Action Comics Vol 1 #671, Adventures of Superman Vol 1 #484-485, Superman Vol 2 62, Superman: The Man of Steel Vol 1 6: I wrote more in-depth on this one here. Superman loses his memory on a tropical island and is to be wed to the island princess. A perfect slice of the amazing Triangle Era with killer art from Jurgens and The Bog.

Superman/Batman Vol. 1 #60-61: A dreamworld where the Justice League and the Teen Titans and their villains get amalgamated with killer art by Francis Manapul.

Rival Schools #1-2: I love Capcom's video game Rival Schools. I love comic creator Corey Lewis. Put them together and you get just about the perfect comic made just for me. The only negative is they never published issue 3.

Convergence: Shazam #1-2: After reading through all of the Golden age Fawcett Captain Marvel comics, I've come to regard DC's version of him as a bit of a letdown. I'm always searching for that modern day high I got from those classic tales. This series by the S-Tier creative team of Jeff Parker and Doc Shaner is the closest I've ever gotten to that feeling again.

The Demon Vol. 3 #26-29: Dwayne McDuffie and Val Semeiks deliver us one of the smartest, funniest, pull no punches parody of American politics as Etrigan runs for President. This one is in contention as my favorite DC Comics story of all time.

X-Men: The Asgardian Wars - New Mutants Special & Uncanny X-Men Annual #9: The New Mutants and Storm get transported to Asgard and integrated into their mythology and culture. The X-Men eventually to join to get them back. I don't know why but the combo of Asgard and the X-Men goes together better than sea salt and caramel. Easily my favorite X-Men story. Another Art Adams masterpiece.

New X-Men Vol. 2 #42-42: Chris Yost and Craig Kyle's run on New X-Men is in my Top 10 for Marvel and this quiet story set in between two massive upheavals gives us a genuine tale of teen emotion, trauma and sweetness with inspiring and whimsical art by Skottie Young. I love these issues so godamn much.

Ben Reilly: Spider-Man #1-5: In an era of (GOOD LORD WHY AND HOW?!) 20 or so years of pretty terrible Spider-Man comics, Marvel blessed us by getting J.M. DeMatteis to revisit Ben Reilly for an untold tale perfectly nestled during his brief time as Spider-Man. I won't spoil it but he manages to take a forgotten, height of excess 90's character and give them a poignant, spectacular story juxtaposed against Ben, in the usual psychology filled DeMatteis way.

Justice League United #11-16: A very brief magnificent run where Stargirl, Equinox, Animal Man and Alanna Strange recruit whoever they need from across the DC Universe to do the job they need to do. This was a title DC should have published in perpetuity but alas it barely survived two arcs. Still some of the best ever done by Jeff Parker, Travel Foreman and more. Check out the digital only "Sneak Peek" they released to start this series. Comics don't get much better than that.

Spider-Man: Revelations - Astonishing Spider-Man(UK) #56-57: Revelations is a Top 10 Spider-Man story and I could rave about it all day. The return of Norman Osborn in a full team effort by all the writers, editors and artists, it's a perfect ending to The Clone Saga and an amazing jumping off point for the Spidey line. But why a UK reprint of the story in here? Well besides the new exclusive covers, #57 contains a fantastic written epilogue by Peter Parker only published here.

Webspinners: Tales of Spider-Man #17-18: It's honestly hard to try to think of a better duo in comics than Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz. Here we get them making SUCH solid little story revisiting aspects of their run on Amazing with some Doc Ock thrown in. There's nothing flashy or important here but it's just the pinnacle of what Spider-Man comics should be.

John Constantine, Hellblazer #7-8: A haunting, chilling tale of the love between a fishmonger and a mermaid and the disparity between their perceptions of the romance. This one doesn't really "comfort" me but it's so creative and sweet as well as disgusting and terrifying, and that's why it sticks with me so much.

Beyond #1-6: McDuffie never really made a bad comic during his all too short life. This one absolutely RULES! The "Beyonder" gives us a new Secret War and McDuffie throws together some 2000s underused Marvel characters(at the time) in The Hood, Al Kraven, Gravity and the Mac Gargan Venom (Still the only time the character actually used a scorpion tail with the Symbiote. How was that not a permanent thing?) alongside some similarly underused classic characters in Hank Pym, Firebird, Medusa and the Michael Collins Deathlok. A perfect example of "there are no bad characters, just bad writers".

Masters of the Universe Vol. 1 #1-3: Before the cartoon and the general established lore of He-Man was established, DC Comics was able to publish a few stories where they sort of filled in their own version of that mythology. They went with more of a Conan/barbarian serious style and I find that take so cool.

Spider-Man: The Lost Years #0-3: Arguably the best "Spider-Man" comic ever. DeMatteis and John Romita Jr. just GO SO HARD giving us a gritty and deep story of Ben Reilly, Kaine and all the other people caught up in their tragic lives on the road.

Dark Horse Extra #1-7: These were big foldup like 4 pages newspaper comics. Madman, Concrete, a little of everything Dark Horse published. The Madman story is a treat(and recently reprinted in the Library Editions!). But the draw here for me is a fun Art Adams Monkeyman and O'Brien story only published here.

Magneto Vol. 4 #1-4: An earnest psychological exploration of all the various personalities Magneto has displayed throughout his comic history in the usual DeMatteis way. That it's done in a genuinely well told story set during his time as the New Mutants Headmaster is just a bonus.

Young Justice (2011) #20-25: I was a fan of the Young Justice cartoon when it came out and recently watched the entirety of the series and found myself falling deeply in love with Greg Weisman's version of the DC Universe. This tie-in series swiveled from shallow kid's comic to fun fill in the gaps for the show. But no arc was ever as deep or essential as this one which gave us a great prequel set before Season 2 expanding and fleshing out the new cast and the post time skip dynamics. AMAZING Nightwing moments, Brainiac, Weisman baby Kylstar, a HUGE cast and so so much more all with wonderful art by Christopher Jones.

Avengers: Ultron Forever: Al Ewing and Alan Davis give us a time twisting tale reminiscent of Avengers Forever as a time plucked team of modern day Vision and Black Widow, future Danielle Cage Captain America, just a little future Jane Foster Thor, the end of Simonson's run Thor, Jim Rhodes Iron Man, and the unrefined original Hulk take on future All Father Ultron.

Green Lantern Vol. 3 #146-150: Judd Winick's time with Kyle Rayner is a real mixed bag for me. Winick tended to write everyone like they were on a 90's sitcom all desperately trying to be the youngest, coolest, hippest person in the room often to the detriment of the story they were in. But there is no denying that this arc really sings. Kyle gets godlike powers and and helps his friends and the world in a revitalization of the GL line, clashes with Superman, chats with Alan Scott, and finally meets his real Dad.

Action Comics Vol. 2 #36-39: Besides Morrison, the only other time I enjoyed New 52 Superman was Greg Pak's brief time with the character. In this one he returns to Smallville to find it a warped, zombie nightmare dream world with an otherworldly tentacled horror possessing Lana Lang. A great character study of Clark wrapped in a horror story.

The Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 1 #315-317: You can't beat Michelinie and McFarlane together, especially when Venom was involved. This is the second ever Venom story and to me the best ever done with the character. Venom is a charming, funny madman who poses a real terrifying threat to Peter. This is also one of the few stories that actually uses the relationship between the Symbiote and Peter.

Detective Comics #456-457: These are here for the Elongated Man backup stories. The plot involves Ralph getting kidnapped and his wife Sue, the superior character, takes center stage as Elongated Woman. It's as extremely silly and fun as you'd expect. The art is by Kurt Schaffenberger and he makes Sue look so damn cute. I don't know if anyone has ever been better at drawing women in comics than Schaffenberger.

Superman/Batman #79-80: At the time this was like the first mention of DC One Million in years and it was such a delight to see a return to that era and it's wonderful characters. There's a two page spread in here of the time traveling villain bouncing around time and seeing the various Superman/Batman teams of thos eras from throughout DC publishing history and it brings SO much magical comics comfort to me. It's so cool. Chris Roberson, even with such a small sampling, is one of the best Superman writers ever.

Spider-Girl Vol. 1 #96-100: I previously had just #100 on this list because that issue is an oversized anniversary special featuring the amazing climax to this storyline AS WELL AS a reprint of issues #27 and #53, two of the best single issues in the run. But that';s not all you also get a cover gallery, a Spider-Girl villains section, and character info file pin-ups from previous issues. Obviously one of the best single issue packages ever. But I recently reread the entire tale preceding this and realized that one of my favorite moments ever in comics, Hobgoblin escaping from jail in his MC2 comic debut, was from this same story arc in #97. And it's not just those issues, the entire story arc has it all, it's a PACKED celebration of this entire legendary series and the Spider-Man franchise as a whole.

Ultimate Spider-Man Vol. 1 #97-105: I was kind of shocked how much Ultimate Spider-Man is making the cut for these CFC boxes. For years I had disregarded it as a thing in my past and as just more Bendis nonsense. I reread all of it in 2023 and was so happy to see I still love it as an adult and A TON of it still holds up, just as I remember, giving me those same comfort food feelings I felt then. I was OBSESSED with it as a teen and it was the book I kept picking up ravenously as I got through high school and entered adulthood. I have vivid memories of buying these issues from my local shop my first year of college. I remember I hated the idea of an Ultimate Clone Saga but was quickly proven wrong as every single issue had a MIND BLOWING final reveal that just kept ramping up the action and stakes. Rereading it now, even though it's one of the longer arcs in the run, it's surprisingly not too decompressed like the usual Bendis story, and delivers some great story moments that radically smash the status quo for the better. I also really enjoy issue #100 with it's extras celebrating the entire run up to that point.

Silk Vol. 3 #1-5: Maybe it's because Maurene Goo is a successful novelist, but this series has such a professional polish to it that is lacking a lot in comics. The writing is so on point from the overall plot, to the snarky jokes, to the character interplay, to Cindy's inner monologue; all masterful work that entertains in such a charming way. This series also feels so additive to Cindy's little world as well as the Marvel Universe as a whole with new frenemy Saya Ishii and her familial ties. Takeshi Miyazawa is an artist that I've yet to find a line drawn by him I don't enjoy. I truly wish Goo was writing a long ongoing for Silk.

Darkwing Duck (Boom! Studios) #5-8: Negaduck and Magica De Spell team up to take down Darkwing by bringing all the Darkwings from across the Multiverse together. All capped off by the return of Paddywhack. This is my favorite Darkwing Duck story ever across all DD media. It has everything!!

Daredevil Vol. 1 #254-256: I'll be honest, it's extremely difficult to not just place the entirety of Ann Nocenti's Daredevil run in these boxes. This is another alltimer in a run of alltimers here with the introduction of Typhoid Mary and the brutal, toxic relationship her and DD share. Nocenti's dialogue, inner monologues and character actions are so weird but also so natural, so REAL!! I absolutely love how she translates manic, fractured human behavior and the messy gross truths of real life into the usually fine tuned scripting of superhero comics.

X-Force Vol. 3 #7-10: Craig Kyle and Chris Yost rank only behind Claremont and Mike Carey as the best X-Men writers ever for me. We didn't know how good we had it with them, as they banged out incredible story after incredible story bouncing around the X-Franchise over the years. I loved this messy, violent X-Force relaunch they helmed. It took the best bits of their New X-Men work prior and blended it with decades of past X continuity; dug up and given fresh new paint with some of the most staggering stakes the mutants ever faced. This arc was my favorite of the series. There's some wonderful New X-Men kids content here with some amazing X-23 and Elixir character work. There was such good development for all the members really, as well as the fun as hell introduction of Domino and Vanisher to the team. Each issue had a different character giving a narration inner monologue that felt so character authentic. Yost and Kyle always really nailed staying true to how each character spoke, acted and even thought. I deeply miss that. Mike Choi was an artist I loved back then and it was great to see him continue his work with X-23 here. This arc is probably his finest hour.

Black Adam: The Dark Age #1-6: I was such a sucker for the early Oughts development of Black Adam, usually by Geoff Johns and his stellar work throughout JSA and 52(We don't talk about World War 3). But as great as Johns' work with Adam is, I always feel he truly believes the guy is a hero, sure he's got his problems but he will always be the hero when Johns writes him. For my money, Adam is DC's Dr. Doom instead. They are both noble, royal souls that live by some absurd code of honor and are capable of truly heroic acts, but no matter what, WAYYY deep deep down, they are vain, bitter shitheads more in love with themselves than ever truly being the people they claim to be. And really, that's why we love them so much because they are the same messy people we are filled with all the shades of grey. Peter Tomasi's handle on Adam in this series is exactly that, and it's why this series is so damn fun. Well, that and Doug Mahnke's absolutely fantastic art. Mahnke has been spinning gold for 3 decades now but this may be the pinnacle of his career. This is also one of those rare miniseries that isnt trying to be some new reader friendly, evergeen, prestige collection that is sold forever. This is a series that will ABSOLUTELY lose you if you werent reading DC Comics weekly for the years prior as it drops you in and assumes you know all the events and stories and character relationships Adam has been dealing with. It also has no concrete ending, as all types of dangling plot threads are teased for the future, wherever they may pop up. I LOVE stories like this. In the age we live in now, everything has to be new reader friendly or tie in to a movie or lead into a new series or stand alone so we can sell the collected edition. This is real superhero comics, a story that exists in the LIVING, BREATHING DC Universe between all the events and ongoings and everything else. Just a continuing piece of the woven tapestry of the magic that is these decades old superhero universes. I MISS THIS! Oh, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the comedy gold of "Chocolate Egg Cream". One of the best comic moments ever.

Spider-Man: Grim Hunt - The Kraven Saga & Amazing Spider-Man #634-637: Since One More Day permanently ruined Spider-Man comics, I can think of only ONE truly great Spider-Man story that has been published and Grim Hunt is it. Joe Kelly is one of Spidey's best scribes ever and he weaves such a dark, thrilling tale of the resurrection of Kraven the Hunter, that no matter how much I SHOULD hate it, I ended up loving it. Kelly has such a great handle on the Kraven family's characterization all the way to the Chameleon and it's so fun seeing them all play off each other. Kaine, the Kravinoffs, the Spider-Women, hell even "Ezekiel"; he utilizes them all brilliantly. He writes a "dark" Spider-Man that somehow doesn't make you cringe. Michael Lark and Marco Checchetto's art is gorgeous and sets the mood so well. It's baffling, TRULY BAFFLING that this story ends up an alltimer, BUT IT DOES! A bonus in these issues is they all have a backup story of Kaine and Kraven having their own Kraven's Last Hunt back in the day by J.M. DeMatteis and Max Fiumara. It is an exceptional story, as expected of DeMatteis, but WOW! These issues all together represent some of the best ever published for Spidey.

X-Men: Pixie Strikes Back: I am in love with Kathryn Immonen's writing. She writes in a way that's very similar to Ann Nocenti, as I described above. It's a bit more fun, more entertaining but may be even more manic and strange than Nocenti. Immonen is WEIRD and I love it. Everything she writes feels so real. Have you ever overhead a conversation in public and you only hear snippets? You have no context, no understanding of the people or the meaning behind what they're saying. Sure, you may get pieces of what they say or follow some of it so you think you know, but you don't truly know. You're stepping in mid way through, hearing a slice of these people's lives. You're an observer, not a real participant. This is how Kathryn Immonen writes. This is not a perfectly crafted piece of prose manufactured for the entertainment and understanding of the reader to sell a product. This is true writing of the characters as if they are real, as if you are overhearing and getting a glimpse of their lives. A perfect example of this is when Mercury and Armor talk about the inane nonsense of Big Bird and Sesame Street while crawling through a duct escaping from being kidnapped by demons. Kathryn Immonen IS MAGIC. She opens a scrying pool into another reality for the briefest of moments so we can interact with Pixie and the New X-Men kids for a few issues. I deeply treasure the opportunity to experience that magic.

Ant-Man Vol. 2 #1-5: Zeb Wells gives us an endearing, evergreen story about the lovable "loser" that's truly a hero. Dylan Burnett’s art is dynamic and excels at facial expressions that add to the story in such a special way. Colorist Mike Spicer makes said art POP in such a way that you feel like you’re a kid at the grocery store filling a plastic bag with every bright, sweet and sour bulk candy they have to offer. It smacks you in the face and stays with you. The story relies on obscure past continuity while moving things forward, takes you on a tour of the entire Marvel Universe and hits on movie synergy while not being beholden to it. This is an alltimer.

Black Widow and The Marvel Girls #1-4: If Paul Tobin's name is on a comic, you're gonna have a good time. Eternal law of the universe right there and especially for this series perfectly crafted for all ages from the most devoted Marvel Zombie to the person who's never read a comic. Widow teams up with The Enchantress, Wasp, Carol Danvers and Storm all in one off stories throughout an ambiguous Marvel history with art by some of my favorites like Salva Espin, Takeshi Miyazawa, and Jacopo Camagni.

Avengers Vol.1 #256-257: Roger Stern's run with John Buscema and Tom Palmer is my favorite Avengers run and issue 257 where we get a peek into a day at Avengers Mansion where Black Knight works out, The Wasp wears skimpy 80's workout gear, Hercules proudly rejoins, Starfox tries to explain he's not creepy, and Wasp is later elected Avengers Leader has ALWAYS stood out to me as MY issue of Avengers. The larger continuing plot where the team ventures to The Savage Land to fight Terminus alongside Ka-Zar and Shanna(complete in an even skimpier outfit than Jan), AS WELL as Monica Rambeau in space vs Nebula is just an added bonus.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #16-20: Venom!!! The magic of Batman is how he works in literally any story you place him. From the Batgod of Morrison to the drug addicted all too real human of this one. I LOVE this take on a very relatable, new to the job Bats who fails to save a little girl so he ends up juicing so it won't happen again. Sadly this leads him to become a sad, savage, pathetic wretch of a man and we must witness the depths he falls to and his eventual climb back to the top. The continued development of Santa Prisca and the debut of the drug Venom are nice nerd bonuses to this brutal tale of men and the power they seek and how the misuse of said power can make them monsters. There's some LEGENDARY art in these issues from the absurd dream team assemblage of Trevor Von Eeden, Russell Braun, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Steve Oliff.

Girl Crazy #1-3: When I first started reading this Gilbert Hernandez story I was so damn lost, utterly bewildered, massively confused but also titillated and intrigued! The art was some of the cleanest, most beautiful I'd ever seen, and the manic story peppered with 1950's, jungle and future aesthetics forced me to read on! I'm glad I did as the biting commentary, genius science fiction and heaving breasts all fell into place just like Kitten's fake boobs fell into place into her butt. I ended up LOVING the wild and wacky coming of age story revolving around death, freedom, sisterhood, resurrection and most importantly of all not being afraid of expressing your true self.

Titans Sell-Out Special!, New Titans #93: Titans Sell Out!!! I really enjoy this era of team of New Titans. In a money pinch and on a break in Hollywood, the Titans license their images to the movie and merchandising industry which results in an embarrassing The Teeny Titans cartoon they can't stand. It's incredibly entertaining as they actually devote part of the comic to the cartoon, then show us the comic adaptation of the cartoon. It's extremely funny and meta and I love every instance we got of The Teeny Titans. Both of these issues also contain some rare Adam Hughes art, first as a photo scrapbook of their visit to Hollywood then as a parody of an erotic adult magazine.

Classic X-Men #41-42: This gives me some of the phenomenal Dark Phoenix storyline issues but the actual main reason these are in the CFC Canon is the chilling and brutal backup stories featuring Mr. Sinister. This is right before the new backup material in Classic X-Men was stopped altogether as well as Claremont's departure from the X-books. It's a frequently overlooked story that starts to dig into the actual origin and story of what Claremont actually wanted to do with Sinister. Here we see Sinister in control of the orphanage where Cyclops is as a boy and his constant manipulation of his life. It's a truly horrifying and unsettling story filled with so much pathos and development for Scott. Some of Claremont's best work was these backup stories. It's always been cool to me that while Claremont hints at things here he never puts in something truly contradictory or set in stone to his original vision for Sinister, so this story isn't ignored or explained away later, it's woven into continuity just from a different angle.

X-Men Archives Featuring Captain Britain #1-7: A 90's deluxe reprint series of Captain Britain's Marvel UK adventures by Dave Thorpe, Alan Moore and Alan Davis. Sometimes I honestly think the Jasper's Warp storyline that makes up most of this series may be the best Marvel storyline of all time. It's certainly always up for contention as my favorite comic story of all time. It has everything that makes comics great. Thorpe and Davis' initial Multiverse setup and relaunch of the character starts off so additive with the iconic costume redesign and introduction of Jim Jaspers and Saturnyne. It soon gets real dumb, real fast but thankfully some behind the scenes drama led to Thorpe leaving and a young and wildly creative non jaded Alan Moore coming on the book. He takes the ingredients Thorpe bundled together and turns them into unparalleled fine dining. Without missing a step, it becomes a dark sci-fi comic alltimer, almost a proto version of all the stories Moore does after this. All the usual brilliant Moore tropes, hell all of the more nuanced and mature storytelling comics tropes from the 80's and up are done here in such a masterful way. It's always shocking to me this one is still quietly underrated as it's influence is still being felt in media today. The magic is it's not dated and it is in many aspects way better than all the similar stories done after. I remember reading this one my first year of college and being blown away, my mind now open to how truly amazing comics could be. I'm pleased to see that feeling hasn't gone away upon rereads. GOD, IT'S GOOD!!

Magik Vol. 1 #1-4: When I got back into comics in my late teens, back before I first knew what a torrent was, wayyyy before readcomiconline existed, all my comic reading was done by whatever vestiges of the 90's survived one family move or whatever I'd find in a bookstore. I'd fallen in love with the X-Men fully and got by with whatever trades were coming out but when I saw a footnote in an issue about a random Magik series I never knew existed, I hopped online and it was one of my first ever online comic purchases as a teen. Newkadia I believe. Magik has always been a fave of mine, really only getting beat out by Rogue, Wolvie and Mags as my favorite X character. I couldn't believe such an obscure character really got her own mini back then. Now, Claremont always made the X-Men kinky and full of suffering but JESUS, this mini cranked it up to 11. It's a brutal and horrifying tale but it is also DEEPLY AWESOME!! Ilyana is FUCKED UP. There's so much depth to her character provided here that makes her such a fascinating and complex character. I love her and this series so damn much.

New Mutants Vol. 1 #18-20: In the early Oughts I was reading New Mutants for the first time as they released New Mutants Classic trades. The sporadic releases of the first two volumes with Bob McLeod's adequate but largely un-fantastic work on the series was fine, but I found myself a bit bored by it all. When the third volume finally came out with Bill Sienkiewicz's work my mind exploded. Head, gone. Bits of brain matter everywhere. Suddenly this cookie cutter series that sometimes put me to sleep was a transcendent work of art pushing the boundaries of the medium. WHAT??? The Demon Bear Saga here is the definite high point of the run and the entire volume. I can't even count how many times I've pored over the art in these ones. The weird ass story from Claremont combined with the experimental art by Sienkiewicz blend so well to make this alltimer.

Books of Magic Vol. 1 #1-4: I got this story in trade form along with all of Sandman from my oldest brother back when I was 18 or so and I'll be forever grateful that he opened up such a world to me. At that point I hadn't really gotten into much of DC besides the usual classics and this gave me a peek into how charming and special and full of depth the DCU was. This is the story JK Rowling ripped off for Harry Potter where a young bespectacled, black haired boy is revealed to be a magical chosen one and suddenly leaves his normal British life behind and is swept off to the world of magic. I didn't know many of the worlds and characters presented within when I first read this but I was soon captivated by how amazingly cool the magic side of DC was, and in turn this led me to becoming a full on DC fan for life hunting down more and more comics from this dark, mysterious corner of that universe. This is an extremely special one that has stuck with me for years as I often find myself thinking about random panels from it such as the Helmet of Fate demanding to be worn by a reluctant host body.

Daredevil Vol. 1 # 262-263, 265: Ol Hornhead deals with Inferno! More from Nocenti's run with JR Jr. on here. I told you it was going to be hard not putting their full run in these CFC boxes. Nocenti seems to be the only one who actually GOT Inferno and how fucked up it would be if New York City got overrun and possessed by demons. It's an absurdist dark comedy nightmare she presents herein. Years ago reading this I found it silly how she wrote the regular citizens barely caring or reacting to the horror around them but seeing where our world is now and how fucked it is and how unaffected people are by the grind and insanity of life, I fully believe she presents the most realistic shit ever in these comics. The last issue where DD just silently runs around absolutely beating the shit out of demons, then tries to pick up some trash to make things better, then sits and has a beer and cheers to NYC being the greatest city on Earth is the most brilliant perfect thing ever. Life and all of it's horrible happenings will try to kill you every single day, but you gotta grind and along the way do your small part to better the world and your soul, and find time to sit back and catch a quiet moment for yourself to smile and take it all in and love it, suffering and all.

Batman Vol. 3 #36-37: Tom King's Batman is a mess of a traumatized writer grappling with issues he should be dealing with in therapy but instead does through a comic, editorial meddling, grand aspirations that were never going to be allowed to happen, and a few gems along the way that are some of the best Batman comics ever. It's an infuriating, stupid run that I hate with rare moments I absolutely love. It is maddening, like most of Tom King's output. This story is one of those few gems I love. Presenting Superman, Batman and their respective partners, Catwoman and Lois Lane, as a normal pair of buddies and lovers in the most unusual world gives us such a fun story to work with. Add to this the incredibly sexy art of Clay Mann, which is always a sumptuous treat, and you get an alltimer.

Bram Stoker's Dracula #1-4: I love this movie. It's a 90's cultural touchstone that I can remember being SUCH a big deal thing in my hazy kid mind. It's not actually a very good movie but it also is one of the best movies. This is the magic of superb costume design and set design. An emphasis on practical effects and mood and atmosphere. The bizarre cast which blends legend Anthony Hopkins with the baffling choices of young Keanu and Winona, and the wild card payoff of Gary Oldman as Dracula. The whole movie is a tremendously soulful vibe where you all it's shortcomings don't matter when everything feels so well done with a real creative effort you can actually FEEL and appreciate behind every aspect of making the film. It's a rare thing I dearly miss. And that brings us to this comic adaptation. Like I said, cultural touchstone, so of course this gets a 90's adaptation, but just like the movie we get Roy Thomas, MIKE MIGNOLA, and John Nyberg bringing that same soulful creative mastery to this project. I often regard this as Mignola's greatest work, from adapting such a sprawling movie complete with actor likenesses that are instantly recognizable but also definitively his style, to in many ways improving on the execution of scenes, movement and story from the film. A failing card company's comic division puts out a masterpiece of a 1990's movie. It makes NO SENSE we got this wonderful comic. I own the polybagged versions complete with trading cards for the film, which is a charming bonus.

Dragon Ball Part 2 #5-15: The 21st World Martial Arts Tournament Saga!!! Easily my favorite story arc from the OG Dragon Ball. It's such a perfect synthesis of the gag manga and perfect shonen fight manga spectrums of Dragon Ball. A guy who's fighting style is being disgusting and smelling bad, a woman who uses gender stereotypes and her own sexuality as weapons, a dinosaur monster thing, Goku, Krillin, Master Roshi in disguise parodying Jackie Chan, an honorable warrior fighting for his poor village - it's just the perfect mix of serious and silly and I love it so so much.

Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #462-465: Chris Claremont does a mini Excalibur reunion with Psylocke and Rachel Summers, as well as Alan Davis for the first two issues before we get Chris Bachalo and the House of M Universe for the last two issues. This is Claremont finally getting his hands on all the Marvel UK Dave Thorpe/Alan Moore characters and having a ball. This was actually the first place I encountered those characters and I was so into it I tracked down the original stuff and just fell in love. I love how Claremont blends his own continuing run with those old elements, the Excalibur stuff and his own fun take on the House of M. All with art by Alan Davis AND Chris Bachalo?? It's a bizarre amalgamation of decades of Marvel Mutant stories and I just love it.

Generation NeXt #1-4: As much as I lament the fact that this mini completely derailed the momentum of the launch of Generation X by popping in only 4 issues in the fledgling ongoing series, it may well be worth it for this PERFECT story. Easily the best material from my beloved Age of Apocalypse. This is the bleakest, most cynical, most appropriate reflection of that dark alternate reality. I also consider this to be the pinnacle of the Chris Bachalo/Mark Buckingham art team, and nearly everything they ever did together is solid gold, so that's saying something.

Dragon Ball Part 1 #2-3: I prefer the original DB over the latter DBZ era and I love this fun early arc of Goku and Bulma bonding and starting their grand adventure and meeting Master Roshi, uncensored Bulma pulling up her dress and all, here in the Viz floppies.

Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #172-173: The X-Men in Japan for Wolverine's wedding. One of my alltime fave X-Men stories and the best of the Claremont/Paul Smith run. Rogue proving herself to the team and bonding with Wolvie in an iconic team-up. Yukio unleashing Storm's punk side. Maddy Pryor entering the bizarre world of the X-Men. Mastermind behind the scenes being a dick. Just sublime.

Resurrection of Magneto #1-4: I wasn't sure what to make of this series as it is mired in the terrible output of the end of the Krakoa era but I was pleasantly surprised to find it to be a fine exploration of Magneto and Storm as characters tying into decades of past obscure continuity as well as recent nostalgia minis Marvel has put out for the characters. What made it become part of the CFC Canon though was the work done with the Shadow King, confirming connections if the reader so choose for that character that I have been eternally clamoring for.

Single Issues

Spider-Man: The Parker Years: My favorite comic ever.

Green Lantern Vol. 3 #59: My second favorite comic ever.

Spider-Boy #1: My third favorite comic ever and easily the best Amalgam Comic. When DC and Marvel crossed over they smushed together and made Amalgam Comics. While some creators didn't quite understand the assignment, Karl Kesel and Mike Wieringo absolutely did! It's a weird time in the 90's and Ben Reilly is Spider-Man so they blended him with Kon-El the clone Superboy. It's a super strange pairing but it allows Kesel to go hog wild with Cadmus stuff and make such novel creative choices to make the unique blend of characters work so well. Every panel of this implies and develops the larger fake Amalgam Universe in such an entertaining way.

Marvel Two-In-One Vol. 1 #86: My fourth favorite comic ever. The Thing and Sandman stop fighting and sit down to have a beer and talk.

Hector Plasm: De Mortuis: My fifth favorite comic ever.

Godzilla vs Barkley: An absurd tie-in to a 1992 Nike commercial, this comic has a young Charles Barkley fan with a magic Silver Dollar, give said Dollar to Chuck, who he describes as "Earth's Greatest Warrior", so he can magically grow to Godzilla size to stop Godzilla. Charles does this by playing one on one in the Grand Canyon. It's so godamn stupid and so godamn AMAZING!!!

Marvel Tales: The New Fantastic Four: This is just a packed single issue reprint of Fantastic Four Vol. 1 #347-349 with all the extras from the TPB. A really cool done in one package. I appreciate these new Marvel Tales that Marvel is putting out. I recommend they take some of my picks for future releases!

Legionnaires Vol. 1 #59: I love the 90's "Archie" Legion and nothing exemplified their unique charm more than the downtime issues, like this one, where they'd go to the beach, or go on dates, or deal with solo stuff or regular life problems.

Age of Apocalypse featuring the X-Men #1: The 2005 revival of my beloved Age of Apocalypse event is largely a very stupid mess where writer C.B. "Akira Yoshida" Cebulski seems to have never even read the original event, BUT we did get this anniversary oneshot out of it with a bunch of cool pin-ups and short untold tales style stories from that world. The best is the Scott Lobdell and Alvin Lee story.

The Amazing Spider-Man #300: Maybe the best anniversary issue ever. The definition of a PERFECT single issue. A tight single story that manages to fit in a ton of turmoil for Peter Parker as we get all in one the origin of Venom, an eerie creeping suspense story, a knockdown slugfest, and the return of the red and blue costume.

Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps Special: My memory is fuzzy but at the time this came out, I was only reading DC Comics by trade. That finally changed here. I can still remember people losing their minds over the final page on the CBR forums. Not only Sinestro but also Cyborg Superman, Parallax, Superboy Prime AND The Anti-Monitor??? I was floored. These were all the big bads from all the evergreen DC collections I had been reading. Absolutely unbelievable levels of hype!! I immediately downloaded a scanned copy and have been reading DC Comics weekly since. This one is still so special to me, this is THE comic that got me to follow DC live and religiously.

LCSD 2018 Cheryl Blossom #1: Cherly Blossom is my favorite Archie girl. Originally Betty & Veronica #320 - the first appearance of Cheryl Blossom, where she shows up and immediately starts stripping on the beach, was in the CFC box until I found this neat little oneshot collection of early Cheryl stories which reprints "Dare to be Bare" from Betty & Veronica #320, "Fast & Loose" from Betty & Veronica #322, "Which is Rich" from Archie #323, and "It Seams Sew Sad" from Archie's T.V. Laugh-Out #90.

Batman Adventures - Mad Love: Nothing really beats when Bruce Timm does interior sequential comic art, and this is probably the best he ever did. Paul Dini and Timm make a comic tie-in to the legendary Batman the Animated Series that is SO GOOD they later adapt it in as an episode.

Marvel Holiday Special #1: I have distinct memories of getting this when I was VERY young while out with my Mom on errands and looking through it (I don't even think I could read yet) while I waited for her to get her hair done or something. Even as like a 4 year old, Art Adams's artwork called out to me; that cover and the value of getting Spidey, Ghost Rider, the X-Men and everyone else for the price of one issue? It was a must to toddler me. Looking at it now as an adult, although it has stiff competition from the 92 Holiday Special #2, this one is still the best of the Marvel Holiday anthologies, packed with so many fun little Holiday stories from so many top creators.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol. 1 #8 Remaster: I've never read Cerebus and I think Dave Sim has lost his mind nowadays and sucks but I absolutely love this incredibly weird Ninja Turtles/Cerebus crossover. It makes no sense to me why this is my favorite Mirage Turtles issue. Maybe I just love Renet, who knows?! There is just such a joyful, authentic feeling of hungry, hard working indie creators of the 80's just jamming together to make something silly and fun they wanted to do in this one. I was pleased to see a rerelease of it in 2023 with a nice new cover.

Jughead Double Digest #195: The new lead story in this digest has Jughead attending the Wing Fest in Buffalo, NY. I am a Buffalo, NY native who has lived here all my life and I was shocked how many very inside Buffalo cameos and references that this story contains. I love it.

Superman #654: Lois and Clark’s “Special Day” – the first time that he as Superman held Lois in his arms.

Batman #400: Doug Moench, Steve Lightle, George Perez, Paris Cullins, Bill Sienkiewicz, Art Adams, Tom Sutton, Steve Leialoha, Joe Kubert, Ken Steacy, Rick Leonardi, Brian Bolland, John Byrne, Bruce Patterson, Larry Mahlstedt, Terry Austin, Ricardo Villagran, Karl Kesel, Adrienne Roy, John Costanza, Tom Orzechowski & Andy Kubert - ALL OF THEM DOING INTERIOR SEQUENTIAL PAGES!!!

Spectacular Spider-Man #200: DeMatteis and Sal Buscema bring us the stunning conclusion to the greatest Spider-Man run ever.

The Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 1 #328: Mr. Fixit Hulk vs Cosmic Powers Spider-Man, during Acts of Vengeance, drawn by Todd McFarlane. Just staggering how much this one is all my shit.

Ultimate Spider-Man Annual #1: Ultimate Kitty Pryde and Peter Parker 4Eva!!!! One of the best comics ever. Kitty and Pete go on a date in this perfect little slice of teen love.

DC Comics Presents: Harley Quinn: a 100 Page Spectacular collecting BATMAN: HARLEY QUINN #1, JOKER'S ASYLUM II: HARLEY QUINN #1, and stories from BATMAN: GOTHAM KNIGHTS #14, COUNTOWN #10, BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS #30 and BATMAN BLACK AND WHITE(2013) #1. The main draw here for me is the Joker's Asylum story with art by Joe Quinones, which is my favorite Harley Quinn story of alltime. Add in more Quinones, from the Black & White story, as well as some Bruce Timm with the origin file from Countdown, and you've got one of the best Harley oneshots ever.

The Batman Adventures Annual #1: A star studded anthology of various Batman rogues featuring the work of Paul Dini, Bruce Timm, Mike Parobeck, Matt Wagner, Dan DeCarlo, Klaus Janson, John Byrne and Rick Burchett. Nearly every issue of Batman Adventures is great but these issues full of Dini, Timm and other legends are on another level.

Spider-Boy Team-Up #1: Karl Kesel brings us a Spider-Boy sequel which dare I say could be better than the first, this time with Roger Stern helping to write and absolutely breathtaking art from Ladronn. The fun part of this one is they smush together The Legion of Super-Heroes and The Guardians of the Galaxy and it serves as a hilariously fun parody poking fun at all the various different versions of these teams that have existed.

Best of DC Blue Ribbon Digest #61: The Best of 1985's DC Comics! A beautiful little snapshot of 80's DC as you get Swamp Thing's "Anatomy Lesson", Wolfman and Kane Supes, Levitz Legion, Blue Devil, "Who Is Donna Troy?", and an issue of Atari Force!

The New Avengers Vol. 1 Annual #1: The initial roster and status quo of the New Avengers only got about a year and a half before it was torn apart by Civil War. This is a VERY specific slice of time where you get to see that team hang out in Avengers Tower, have a standard superhero fight, and then attend Luke Cage and Jessica Jones' wedding; all with Olivier Coipel masterfully doing his thing.

The Flash Vol. 2 #182: Geoff Johns and Scott Kolins revolutionized the Flash's Rogues during their run on The Flash, both injecting so much personality into their backstory, motivation, "code", and visuals that you often felt more like reading about them than the Flash. This is the best spotlight of that as we get a full Captain Cold issue.

Cavewoman 2014 - 20th Anniversary Convention Book: This has my favorite Cavewoman story in it, which is just a simple plot of Meriem getting her top half stuck in a cave hole. It has humor, big apes, dinosaurs and Meriem hopping all over while naked, so it's a perfect Cavewoman story.

Batman Vol. 1 #666: Damian Wayne as the soulless Batman of the future vs The Devil. Wish we could see more of this from Morrison & Kubert.

Ultimate Spider-Man #200: A wake of sorts for Ultimate Peter Parker and to me the perfect final issue of the Ultimate Universe. Contains what may be my favorite double page spread ever by David LaFuente

Copra #45: A damn good issue of Copra but this issue has a letter from me and pictures of my dog, D.D!!!

Adventures in the DC Universe #16: A riff on the classic Green Lantern & Green Arrow drugs story from the 70's but with Kyle Rayner and Connor Hawke in the kinda sorta DC Animated Adventures Universe. The highlight is Kyle discussing jazz with his neighbor.

OMAC Vol. 1 #1: A startling look into the world that's coming by King Kirby. The perfect single issue. The perfect first issue.

Garfield's Pet Force 2014 Special: Pet Forces from across the Multiverse come together to fight Vetvix and all the villains from the original 90's book series(including the ones they planned but never debuted). This in turn merges the Boom continuity with the 90s books continuity. As a HUGE fan of the 90's books this delighted me to no end.

The Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #308: The X-Men Thanksgiving issue!! Some of John Romita Jr.'s best work.

The Sensational Spider-Man Vol. 2 Annual #1: Right before they dissolved Peter Parker and Mary Jane's marriage, Matt Fraction gave us this tale of why those two will never be broken up, no matter what.

Action Comics Vol. 1 #762: Clark Kent's Christmas shopping goes awry when the department store Santa turns out to be Etrigan the Demon. La Encantadora, a personal fave character of mine, just so happens to also be shopping there and teams up with Supes.

Green Lantern/Silver Surfer: Parallax and Thanos team up to take on Kyle Rayner and Silver Surfer by Ron Marz, who wrote both of their titles in the 90s, and drawn by original Kyle artist Darryl Banks. It's everything you could ask for from this crossover.

The Curious Mystery Involving Dracula And The Wolfman: Such a cute and fun take on spooky boys.

Wolverine First Class #6: Kitty Pryde, Siryn, Amp and baby Ilyana Rasputin have sleepover shenanigans that bother Logan, when all he wants is to sit down and watch the hockey game. Salva Espin is SUCH an amazing artist.

Invincible #54: Some time travel nonsense happens, but forget all that. This is the date night all over the world romance issue for Atom Eve and Invincible!!

The New Warriors Vol. 1 #39: The best issue of New Warriors. A quiet downtime issue where we check in on all the civilian lives of the team. Drama, romance, so much angst! This one has it all.

Thor Vol. 1 #437: Bumbling, loveable Hercules tricks Quasar into battling Eric Masterson Thor, in a misguided attempt to help train Eric. More fun ensues when The enchantress fouls up the fight even further. Wendell Vaughn and Eric Masterson, two of my eternal faves, this comic was made for me!!

Legionnaires Vol. 1 #7: This is the Legion beach anime episode and it’s drawn ENTIRELY by comics legend Adam Hughes.

Swamp Thing Vol. 2 Annual #2: Swampy goes to Hell to save Abby, encountering all the mystical/magical DCU characters along the way. An absolute masterpiece.

X-Men #24: A quiet downtime issue (gosh I love those ones, don't I?) with gorgeous moody artwork by Andy Kubert, Bill Sienkiewicz and Paul Becton. Rogue and Gambit go on a date, Cyke and Jean have some long talks, and Psylocke and Kwannon try to deal with what's happened to them.

Detective Comics Vol.1 #526: An oversized fantastic anniversary issue wherein Killer Croc, here as the new big bad member of the Batman rogues gallery, assembles just about every Batman villain you can think of to take on the Batfam.

New Gods Vol. 1 #7: THE PACT! Probably the best issue of Jack Kirby's Fourth World. A flashback history lesson of the eternal struggle between Apokolips and New Genesis.

Grendel: Devil by the Deed: I love every Grendel story but nothing hits as hard as this prose story of the original Grendel, Hunter Rose, accompanied by such moody art deco artwork.

Batman Shadow of the Bat Annual #3: Sadly, Brian Apthorp is a comic artist of which we never got much work from. But the material we did get, WOW!! This is a wonderful reimagining of Batman's first encounter with Poison Ivy and the artwork here is just next level. I adore the storytelling and the vibrant personalities that Apthorp puts into everyone's expressions and body language.

Hitman #34: I'm not an Ennis guy besides Hitman. His cynical hate of superheroes while writing superheroes is always annoying, but it's so refreshing when he rarely writes one he clearly loves, in this case Superman. Maybe the best examination of the character ever done here.

Superman Man Of Tomorrow #1,000,000: Superman, while in the future, asks to be shown the entire history of the whole Superman line, his ancestors and their centuries long battle with Arch-Enemy Solaris, The Tyrant Sun. This book is PACKED with so many interesting, amazing ideas about Superman’s son, grandson, and so on and so on. Each little sentence about a Super ancestor could be a whole comic series.

The Uncanny X-Men and The New Teen Titans: Darkseid and Dark Phoenix team up to punk some teenagers by Chris Claremont and Walt Simonson. No Marv Wolfman in sight. All of that equals perfection my friends.

Secret Wars: Secret Love: An anthology book that features Michel Fiffe riffing on Typhoid Mary and Daredevil in an Ann Nocenti run tribute, a Robbie Reyes/Kamala Khan team up by legend Felipe Smith teasing us and their respective love interests with the possibility of those two getting together and an Iron Fist and Misty Knight story where Danny braids Misty's hair drawn by Gurihuru.

Special Edition X-Men #1: A reprint of Giant Size X-Men #1, still such a great comic, but with an added Claremont, Dave Cockrum story where Kitty Pryde and Ilyana Rasputin give a tour of the X-Mansion and everyone throws Kitty a surprise birthday party. It's a real Cockrum tribute issue. I will always prefer this version over the original or the 90's chromium Gary Frank cover reprint.

Sharknife FCBD #1: Corey Lewis is right up there with Jack Kirby and J.M. DeMatteis as my favorite comic creators ever. His Sharknife comics are pure soul rejuvenating bombs of creativity and comfort for me. This is a short and sweet Free Comic Book Day Sharknife Gaiden.

Hector Plasm: Totentanz: While not as good as the other Hector Plasm comic above, this one still has a great lead bit and a ton of pinups and extras and short fun things, I just wish it had more pure comics in it. That being said, it's still Hector Plasm, so it's great.

Spectacular Spider-Man Vol. 1 #115: I am absolutely OBSESSED with Mark Beachum and his dream like erotica style artwork. This is a perfect encapsulation of his mastery of dynamic body poses and seeming obsession with asses. I also really dig the weird 80's period of Spec Spidey by Peter David with Spidey in his black costume and Black Cat and all types of weird side villains. This is a beloved snapshot of just that.

X-Men Vol. 2 #1: Let me first say that the plot and writing in Mutant Genesis is absolute ass as Chris Claremont is shoved out the door. BUT the art and designs by Jim Lee and the exciting new launch for the franchise as X-Factor is folded back into the main team for the 90's is so undeniably cool. The pin-ups, the fold out cover, everything about this is the hypest, coolest shit ever made. It's a very confusing feeling as I hate everything this issue represents and does while simultaneously loving every single thing about it. More often than not, that was what it was like reading comics in the 90's.

Christmas with the Super-Heroes #2: The rare Holiday anthology where every single story is a home run. This one contains my second favorite Superman story ever as well as a truck colliding with your heart and soul Deadman/Pre-Crisis Supergirl story.

Solo Avengers #14: Chris Claremont and Alan Davis bring us the best She-Hulk comic ever made.

Batman Vol. 1 #244: Ra’s al Ghul is my favorite Batman villain and this is my favorite story of the O'Neil/Adams era of Batman. Batman and a sexy Olympic skier chase Ra's and Talia down a snow covered mountain and then a shirtless Batman vs Ra's in a sword fight in the desert which ends in defeat for Ra's and a sweet mack session with Talia for Bats. Perfection.

Scooby Doo Team-Up Vol. 1 #40: Loveable weed smoking hippie Chester Williams of the Swamp Thing supporting cast is revealed to be Shaggy from Scooby Doo's Uncle, thus initiating the team-up visit. Solomon Grundy and Swampy shows up, and even Abby eventually!! It ends up being a funny Moore era Saga of the Swamp Thing reunion and homage that rules so much.

Legionnaires Vol. 1 #77: Basically a combo of the two other Legionnaire issues I posted above, a quiet down time issue for the full cast as they go to a beach resort. It's a celebration of the entire 90's "Archie Legion" era and a fitting goodbye from the creative teams as Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning come on right after and soon relaunch the title.

Justice League of America #200: Oh baby!! The premise of this one is all brawling as an original Big 7 Leaguer fights a Satellite League member all drawn by some huge comic legend - Pat Broderick, Jim Aparo, Dick Giordano, Gil Kane, Carmine Infantino, Brian Bolland and Joe Kubert!!!

Deadpool Vol. 3 #11: Deadpool time travels to the Amazing Spider-Man #47 and has to take Peter Parker's place while also making sure to not muck up the timeline. Absolute genuine hilarity ensues.

Thunderstrike Vol. 1 #1: Thunderstrike's big debut!!! Just big sweeping action and character in an exciting, oversized intro issue from DeFalco and Frenz. I'm always wowed with the experimentation of big single and double page spreads and huge single panel art Frenz does in this issue.

The Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 1 #400: The death of Aunt May. Stunning revelations, inspired character work, and scenes that will make you cry like a baby. All of that while making it work as yet another chapter in the blossoming Clone Saga. One of the all time best!

X-Men Chronicles #1: I am irrationally obsessed with the Age of Apocalypse event and literally anything related to it. So I'm constantly craving more tiny bits of lore and continuity for that reality and that's why I love these "Chronicles" one shots that replaced the X-Men Unlimited series which usually told self contained side stories to fit in wherever for the line. We get to see a flashback tale to the early days of the X-Men of this universe and the ascension of Apocalypse all done with some very pleasing and unique Terry Dodson inked by Klaus Janson art. These also had specific history or character pin-ups by some legendary artists in the back.

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #25: The famous "Silent Interlude". No dialogue as Snake eyes rescues Scarlett from Cobra and the mysterious ties to Storm shadow are revealed. The blueprint on story telling and artistic draftsmanship in comics.

Thor Vol. 1 #444: Eric Masterson Thor takes on the mystery of a sewer dwelling creature that resembles The Grinch in this Holiday classic.

Green Lantern Vol. 3 #78: The Kyle Rayner/Donna Troy relationship commitment issue. My second favorite relationship in comics behind Peter and MJ is given some time to shine.

The Uncanny X-Men #205: WOUNDED WOLF! Lady Deathstrike and The Reavers hunt a feral Wolverine with only Katie Power of The Power Pack to help him during a snowstorm. Barry Windsor-Smith's artwork here is an otherworldly swirling tornado of detailed lines and emotions.

Birds of Prey Vol. 1 #8: I'm a Dick/Starfire kind of guy myself but even I can get on board with Dick and Babs when it's done so authentically sweet as this romantic, inspiring tale is.

Spectacular Spider-Man Vol. 1 #241: The epilogue issue to The Clone Saga. This is a heartfelt issue with Peter and MJ about dealing with grief and loss and finding the love and strength to carry on.

The Incredible Hulk Vol. 1 #418: I wrote above how Gary Frank's art during this era is as good as comic art can get and it's on full display here with the dozens of guest stars and cameos (Including Death of The Endless!) for the wedding of Rick Jones and Marlo Chandler. The fold out faux wedding invitation cover is so cool.

Mary Jane and Black Cat Beyond #1: Us true Mary Jane fans have been starving for so many years now. We finally got some sustenance in this sexy heist one shot with some excellent dialogue and characterization for Felicia and MJ regarding their longtime relationship.

Green Lantern Vol. 3 #81: Special issue for the funeral of Hal Jordan which has priceless moments like Kyle Rayner meeting Nightwing, Kyle and Jack Knight being antique art dorks together, cameos by most of the 90's DCU, and a prominent and rare non-Vertigo Swamp Thing appearance. All of that bolstered by a rad foil cardstock cover and a Silver age Hal story reprint complete with a new Ron Marz/Gil Kane framing sequence!

Wolverine Vol. 1 #75: The aftermath of Magneto ripping the adamantium out of Wolverine and the physical and emotional trauma he goes through while almost dying. This shit absolutely traumatized me as a kid, but I couldnt stop reading it over and over it's so well done.

Jungle Action Vol. 2 #18: Billy Graham!! Graham's Will Eisner influenced work with Don McGregor on this Black Panther run is full of stunning visuals but for me, nothing beats the double page spread introducing the leopard print covered Madam Slay in this issue.

Swamp Thing Vol. 2 #34: Few things comfort me as much as Swamp Thing and Abby Holland's love for each other and this issue is solely that. In one of the rare breaks from horror and heartbreak during Alan Moore's run, we get Abby and Swampy having their version of sex, a level of intimacy of which we mortals could only dream of.

Batman Vol. 3 Annual #4: This story celebrates the magic of Batman and how he fits into any plot you want in his unending mission. The premise of this one is that we are reading Alfred’s diary, which is a logbook of all the various adventures Batman faces. When we start, these diversified tales are given 4-5 pages to breathe. Then, the stories continue but they get one page, then 3 panels to a page, then 4, then 5, then 6, 7, 8, 9 as each panel represents a wildly different day of events Batman lives through.

Generation X Underground Special: I deeply miss the 80's/90's indie comic - usually black and white, deeply weird, full of jokes and pop culture references, done with a soulful style where you felt like you could feel the blood, sweat, and tears that went into publishing this random periodical that only a couple hundred people may ever read. That type of thing has been replaced by like an Instagram post comic. The internet SUCKS now guys. Anyways, this was basically Marvel looking at some fan comic about Generation X by indie comic master Jim Mahfood and saying yea ok, we'll publish your little zine. It's sort of a miracle that this thing even exists.

Ultimate Spider-Man #155: The entire run of Ultimate Comics Spider-Man up until The Death of Spider-Man is my fave era of Ultimate Spidey material. Cramming his house with all his various friends and constantly expanding that huge group of teens was just the best. This is the last issue before Bendis jarringly swerved and killed Ultimate Pete and to me it represents a window slamming shut on a status quo that had truly unlocked perfection and had such promising potential for future stories. I'll never not be mad at the direction they took after this. It was also really cool to have Chris Samnee briefly do some work with these characters.

Superman Vol. 1 Annual #3: One of my alltime favorite single issue packages. A huge reprint filled book with pretty much every Silver Age Supes story you could ever want. Yes, that includes the lion head Superman story.

The Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #137: Another one of those much ballyhooed classics that actually is that good. The Dark Phoenix Saga as a whole is great but not perfect, until you get to the final heartbreaking issue which really is, from pacing, to plot, to dialogue, to art, about as perfect a comic as you'll come across.

X-Men Chronicles #2: Just like #1 above, this gives us a flashback tale of when The Wolverine attacked Magneto's X-Men and the story of when Rogue's love drifted from Gambit to Mags. Love the way Ian Churchill draws every single character here. This one too has the wonderful pin-ups in the back again.

Jonah Hex Vol.2 #50: The tragic tale of Jonah Hex and Tallulah Black's child, and all the Western gunslinging vengeance thats comes along for the ride. Incomparable art by the legendary Darwyn Cooke.

Action Comics Vol. 1 Annual #1: Batman and Superman team up to take on Skeeter, the Daisy Dukes wearing vampire with art by Art Adams. If there's anything I've learned assembling these CFC boxes it's that Art Adams may be my favorite comic creator ever.

The Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 1 #102: The Lizard, Morbius and Six-Armed Spidey all collide in the climax to this classic body horror Spider-Man story!

The Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #273: Besides The Outback Era, my favorite era of X-books was the weird X-Men Disassembled, I call it, time period when Forge and Banshee were essentially Headmasters and they were trying to find various members of the team that were flung all over the world by the Siege Perilous. This is a quiet come down issue during the height of that era right after the X-Tinction Agenda crossover where all the various X-Team members are FINALLY back together again. This is also a jam art issue featuring a bevy of comic legends - Jim Lee, Whilce Portacio, Klaus Janson, John Byrne, Rick Leonardi, Marc Silvestri, Michael Golden and Larry Stroman.

X-Factor Vol. 1 #87" X-Aminations! Doc Samson has each team member sit down on the couch for some psychological evaluations. A revolutionary single issue that provides some essential character moments for all involved, especially Quicksilver.

X-Factor Vol. 3 #13: Re-X-aminations! Doc Samson sits down with the new version of X-Factor for some psychological evaluations. Just as entertaining and insightful as the original story.

Everything Sucks! #1: I once described this series of comics as "Curb Your Enthusiasm meets Tiny Toons" and I still stand by that description. Awful, wacky, cynical but somehow loveable characters that you find yourself relating to way too much, which is probably a bad thing. This one is all about Noah stubbornly needing to get the burger he craves. I felt that shit so hard. There's a few bonus pin-ups and short comics in the back of this one I really love too about Noah and his cat.

DC One Million 80 Page Giant: Extremely unique set of anthology tales that offer a wide variety of story genre and art styles. Much like Age of Apocalypse, I irrationally love anything DC One Million and this is about the only non the big event slice of it we ever got. Huge fan of the Mark Millar, Mike Wieringo story in this one.

Superman Vol. 1 Annual # 11: Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons extremely perverse but oddly sweet and comforting classic. I'm such a big fan of the deceptively talented clean and simple linework Gibbons does here. Moore is able to imbue Mongul, Wonder Woman, Robin, Batman and characters from Supes' dream world with so much personality, often times with just one line of spoken dialogue. They make it seem so easy with their staggering talent here.

Mega Man #50: A great chapter of the Worlds Unite crossover but the reason to love this one is the backup story where Mega Man and Mega Man X get some quiet time to interact and compare and contrast their history and their lives.

Scott Pilgrim: Full Colour Odds and Ends 2008: When I was 19-20 or so I was OBSESSED with Scott Pilgrim. His life mirrored my own in so many eerie ways. Back before all the main books were colored, this one shot was a rare treasure to have to see that world in color with bonus sketches, mini-comics and extras all in one package. The shitty movie and growing up kind of made me want to forget about Scott Pilgrim and leave it, along with the kid I once was, in the past. But I recently reread the series with a new adult perspective and found myself falling in love again. I was glad I held on to this one and can appreciate it once more.

Swamp Thing Vol. 2 #50: Similar to the Annual listed above, this is Swampy alongside an even bigger cast of the magical side of the DCU in the climax to a longer tale of a conflict against a great unknown Darkness.

Swamp Thing Vol. 1 #7: A little superhero spills into the Bernie Wrightson original horror Swampy series as he clashes with Batman.

X-Men Vol. 2 #109: A Christmas themed 100 Page Monster! Around this time in 2000 Marvel made a few of their books 100 Page Monsters and reprinted about 3 issues after one regular new lead issue. This one is a new X-Treme X-Men and regular X-Men team Christmas story along with reprints of X-Men #98- Christmas in Manhattan as the Sentinels attack, Uncanny X-Men #143 - Kitty Pryde vs the Demon, and Uncanny X-Men #341 - Cannoball vs Gladiator - all some of the best single issues of X-Men ever. I'm blown away at how much good shit they packed in here.

Superman Adventures #41: The novel idea of a different story on every page. Each bite sized tale surprisingly rules.

X-Force Vol. 1 #19: Post X-Cutioner's Song, X-Force finds themselves at a crossroads without a leader and under house arrest at the Mansion. Without Xavier, without Magneto, without Cable - who are these characters and what path will they take as they enter adulthood, not as X-Men but as X-Force.

The Multiversity Guidebook: Grant Morrison and a huge selection of artists either create new or revisit old universes to create a catalog of the DC Multiverse. Still so cool even if nothing much ever came from this.

Superman Vol. 1 #156: “Every man can be a Superman”

The Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #138: The very next issue after The Dark Phoenix Saga, Cyclops recaps every single X-Men story while wallowing in his grief. It's so damn cool to see Claremont and Byrne give us this trip down memory lane.

Batman Vol. 1 #156: Probably my favorite Silver Age Batman story. This one has some surprising depth and subject matter for the time as we delve into the psychological trauma Batman feels over Robin potentially dying.

Forever People Vol. 1 #4: "All young humans recognize the real thing when they see it". The ultimate character showcase for Darkseid and a fascinating exploration of how we perceive good and evil and how we cope with it for better or worse.

DC Comics Presents Legion of Super-Heroes #2: A collection of various Geoff Johns Legion Threeboot stories - the first appearance of the Legion from Adventure Comics #247, the Legion co-feature from the short lived Adventure Comics #0-4, Action Comics #864 - a bridge issue between Superman and the Legion and Legion of Three Worlds, “Friday Night In The 21st Century” from Action Comics #900, and a Mon-El tale from Action Comics Annual #10. I LOVED this older reinstatement of the original Legion and will always be sad we didn't get more from them by Johns. Levitz's material usually outright ignored what was established and had some pretty terrible plots. But at least we got this little Legion celebration package

I Heart Marvel - Web of Romance #1: A lovely story about Spider-Man and Mary Jane's relationship during the New Avengers Tower era drawn by Cory Walker. Perfection

Daredevil Vol. 1 #260: This is basically Daredevil's version of Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1 where he fights the Sinister Six. Typhoid Mary and all the villains Ann Nocenti had introduced in her run up until that point round out this Sinister Six in a brutal, fast paced fight comic.

Superman and Batman: World's Funnest: Comedy genius Evan Dorkin has Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite have a brawl through pretty much every planet, reality, universe or continuity DC has ever had with a staggering art roster which includes Mike Allred, Brian Bolland, Frank Cho, Dave Gibbons, Jaime Hernandez, Stuart Immonen, Phil Jimenez, Doug Mahnke, Frank Miller, Sheldon Moldoff, Alex Ross, Scott Shaw, Ty Templeton and Bruce Timm!!

Guy Gardner: Warrior #29: I'm a big fan of Beau Smith's oddball Warrior run and the jewel of that run is this issue drawn by Phil Jimenez. Guy opens his bar and just about every single character in the DC Universe shows up for the grand opening.

Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 4 #100: A huge anniversary issue with a great Computo lead story but ALSO with a ton of amazing pin-ups and short stories in the back featuring Alan Davis and Walt Simonson.

Mortal Kombat Collector's Edition Comic Book: A mail-order comic tie in to the original Mortal Kombat written and drawn by series co-creator John Tobias. If you read Nintendo Power growing up, you may remember some of the art from this comic used for MK features. That art was burned into my brain as a kid and it wasn't until recently, when I bought a slabbed copy of this and cracked it out of it's stupid shell, that I got to experience the majesty of this official comic that feels like a great indie book. Tobias' art is MY Mortal Kombat.

The Punisher Meets Archie: An absolutely ludicrous crossover idea that thankfully is in on the joke. Everything you could ever want when you read that title is delivered here.

Spider-Girl #0: A reprint of What If? #105, the debut of Mayday Parker aka Spider-Girl, the greatest what If? issue ever. I prefer this reprint of the issue instead of the original as it contains little previews for the new series of the MC2 Universe- J2, A-Next and Spider-Girl!

The Kingdom: Offspring #1: The Kingdom is a great event that is never talked about. This one shot about Plastic Man's son, Offspring is the charming highlight, especially because the art is all Frank Quitely. Always amazed at that.

DC Comics Presents Vol. 1 #47: Like I mentioned above, I love DC's use of pre-refined He-Man and his world. How can you not love this issue where He-Man and Superman team up to take on Skeletor?

Batman Adventures Annual #2: The all stars of Batman The Animated Series - Paul Dini, Glenn Murakami and Bruce Timm - team up to give us a Ra's and Talia story that ends up being a Jack Kirby tribute. Murakami's coloring really makes this one special.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles In Time #1: The IDW Turtles travel back to the age of dinosaurs with my fave Renet, drawn so cute here by Sophie Campbell. This is where they adopt their adorable dinosaur pal, Pepperoni. So cute! All so cute!!

Resident Evil #1 (Marvel Comics): A free Marvel/Capcom promo comic prequel for the release of the original Resident Evil. Check out my extensive Oral History of this comic if you want to learn everything about it and read it, in the article I am most proud of writing.

The Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #244: My beloved Outback X-Men era. It's ladies' night and our loveable cast of X-Women hit up The Hollywood Mall for a night of shopping and fun!

The Sensational She-Hulk #50: Such a fun anniversary issue where Jen breaks the Fourth Wall and "auditions" some creators to take over after Byrne leaves including Dave Gibbons, Frank Miller, Wendy Pini, Walt Simonson, Howard Chaykin, Terry Austin, Adam Hughes and Howard Mackie.

Earth Prime - Stargirl #4: I don't know if I can resolutely say that Stargirl is my favorite live action superhero show ever, but it just may be. To have a tie in to the show I love written by legendary creators I equally love, James Robinson and Jerry Ordway, is a dream come true. This is a very quiet, touching story.

X-Men Legacy #234: Mike Carey is my guy, and excluding Claremont, he produces the best X comics. This is a quiet, character driven single issue during his long Rogue centric development that ends up involving her past romances. Who better to portray all that sexiness than Yanick Paquette who provides us some very memorable steamy scenes!

Black Lightning Vol. 2 #5: Tony Isabella and Eddy Newell's brief 90's Black Lightning run is about all you could ever want out of comics and few single issues come close to this one by them. Isabella's narration, character work and emotional heartstring pulling is paired with an gorgeous artistic showcase for Eddy Newell. Seriously, just about every page in here should be hanging in a museum somewhere.

G.I. Joe Deviations: What happens when Cobra actually takes over the world? Well, a lot of world peace and stability, boring management, paperwork and politics. That doesnt sit too well with Cobra Commander who rallies a ragtag group of Joes to dismantle the New cobra World Order. Paul Allor teams with my Comics God, Corey Lewis on this one to make such a funny, super fucking cool, amazingly awesome looking book.

Power Pack Vol. 1 #19: Katie Power invites the Morlocks, Kitty Pryde, Wolverine, Beta Ray Bill, Franklin Richards and Cloak & Dagger over for Thanksgiving. Chaos ensues at the Thanksgiving Day Parade. The best Thanksgiving comic ever!!

Batman Adventures Holiday Special: Phew! All the usual Batman the Animated Series all stars are here in a big ol' anthology of Holiday goodness! All of these were adapted into the episode "Holiday Knights" EXCEPT the Mr. Freeze story which may be the best one in here. I think for all of these, except the Harley & Ivy one, I prefer the comic version to the adaptation.

Radioactive Man #197: The Best Jack Kirby Comic is a Simpsons Comic

Teen Titans Vol. 3 #35: I read this comic when I was 18 and that image of a naked Ravager sneaking into Robin's bed is permanently tattooed into my brain. I love the weird Kid Devil, Ravager era of Teen Titans.

Archie #636: Rule 63 Archie by Gisele Lagace!!!

JLA #61: Joe Kelly and Doug Mahnke's JLA is such an imperfect, sprawling monster of a run that you can really feel the hunger they had and appreciate how much personality they give each team member. This is such a fun issue of that run where we get to see a peek into the lives of each member right before they are all called into action.

Invincible #144: The final issue of Invincible. Rushed, sloppy, jarring and perfect.

Supergirl Vol. 5 #9: This issue of Supergirl struggling with her place in the world and her awkward growth into an adult alongside all the expectations people put on a teen girl as well as her personally as an "S" shield bearing superhero really rings true to me. She fights, she rebels, she smokes, she goes out clubbing with an older guy, she deals with family drama and childhood trauma and she saves a little girl who innocently helps put her on the right path. I also love Ian Churchill's art here so damn much.

Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 4 #4: Mon-El vs the Time Trapper with the most heroic, noble sacrifice you've ever seen all expertly done by Keith Giffen. This is a fight you can really FEEL!

Batman 1989 Movie Adaptation: I miss the era when movies and tv got comic adaptations so fans could experience the story if they werent able to see the movie or just to keep that experience going. Sure a ton of them were crap, and in an era where literally everything is available whenever you want it, the need for them just doesnt exist anymore. But man when they hit, THEY HIT!! This one by Denny O'Neil with lush, vibrant artwork that stunningly captures the actor's likenesses by Jerry Ordway and Steve Oliff, shows how some adaptations are so well done they end up having a place next to what they were adapting as an equal piece of unique art.

Thor: The Worthy: Walt Simonson's Thor run, Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz's Thor and Thunderstrike runs, and Kathryn Immonen's Sif led Journey Into Mystery run are my three favorite Thor/Asgard comic chunks in order. Guess what this anniversary oneshot celebrates? Yep, all three of those! I know!! I can't believe it either!!! It's like this was made for me. One of my favorite comics ever.

Dragon Ball #1: In the late 90's Viz started publishing Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z under the Viz Select comics banner as standard American floppies. I love this weird rare format and I was lucky enough to find this rare first issue that reprints one of my favorites, Chapter 1, for under ten bucks. Sometimes virtual bin diving for hours online pays off.

The Incredible Hulk Vol. 1 #417: Another Gary Frank one, another gorgeous aesthetically pleasing feast for the eyes. This one is Rick Jones and fiancée Marlo Chandler's bachelor and bachelorette parties. Captain America unknowingly hires a stripper and Betty Banner yells for them to "Take it off!" as She-Hulk takes the ladies to Marvel's version of Chippendale's.

Thunderstrike Vol. 1 #15: Eric vs Sif! Hela vs Mephisto! Thunderstrike and Thor back in action together! All while the soul of Eric's son, Kevin hangs in the balance!

Spider-Man Unlimited Vol. 3 #14: A short, solid story of Spidey and Black Cat vs Doombots with art full of dynamic action and sexy cheesecake by David Finch. There's nothing particularly special or important or must read here but it is a comic that I always fondly remember and it always makes me smile. That's what Comfort Food Comics is all about.

Captain Marvel Adventures #31: Captain Marvel visits Buffalo, NY!! A real treat for me as a native Buffalonian. They even show off City Hall, still there today, where I got married (well where we filled out the paperwork haha).

X-Men Vol. 2 #8: Still contained in the extremely hype Jim Lee era with the spectacular art, vibe and design he brought. A quiet issue where cyclops drools over Psylocke's Pikachu swimsuit, and Bishop fucks up Rogue's home made boysenberry pie. THE BEST!!

Thor Vol. 1 #356: A HILARIOUS fill in issue where Hercules tells a tall tale of him just absolutely beating Thor's ass with such funny exaggerations to some kids.

The New Titans #126: My favorite Titans comics are from this brief era where Arsenal led a mid 90's ragtag group that included Impulse, Kyle Rayner, Supergirl and more. This is yet another of my favorite genre of superhero comics, the quiet downtime issue where the team hangs out together. All drawn by Rick Mays, an underrated fave of mine. If anyone out there knows any info whatsoever on this issue's writer, Dale Hrebik, PLEASE TELL ME! He wrote this, my favorite Titans issue ever, a fantastic Rose Wilson story in Deathstroke Annual #4 and scripted Marv Wolfman's plot in Deathstroke #50 and that's apparently it. The internet has surprisingly NOTHING else for me.

Daredevil Vol. 1 #397: Daredevil only has two moods - annoyingly jolly swashbuckler swinging freely through the sky and self destructive, depressing man of passion. This is the perfect encapsulation of the latter in this Typhoid Mary focused issue.

Uncanny Avengers Vol. 1 #5: Ok, so this comic is dumb. Rick Remender is dumb. Havok is dumb. His M word speech is impressively dumb. BUT, God help me, I love it. This issue is, you guessed it!, a quiet downtime issue where the team hangs out again!!! Olivier Coipel flexes his God Tier art muscles here and also draws Rogue in her best fit ever.

Wolverine Vol. 1 #54: A fill in issue by Fabian Nicieza and Darick Robertson featuring a great Wolverine and Shatterstar team-up with a nice Rogue bit thrown in as a cherry on top. For some reason Robertson's art in this issue has stuck with me for most of my life.

Legion of Super-Heroes Vol. 3 #5: One Legionnaire is murdered which leads to a fellow Legionnaire pulling just about the most badass moment ever in comics to get revenge. I jump around celebrating like I saw a Kobe to Shaq alley-oop whenever I read that moment. GOD, this story is good.

Thunderstrike Vol. 1 #19: Thunderstrike's tagline was "The Everyman Avenger" and that really was his strength as a character. His real life relatable problems, his ex wife and son, his large and diverse supporting cast, his job - it all built such a charming and enjoyable life for Eric. This issue gives us "A Day In The Life", whisking us around and highlighting all of those things that made The Everyman avenger so great.

JLA #5: RECRUITMENT DRIVE!! Most people probably remember this one for the done in one story of Tomorrow Woman, which is great, but I'm sitting here grinning like an idiot reading this one for the group of my beloved 90's era DC Comics characters that come to the JLA Satellite to try out for the team. Hitman shows up just to use his x-ray vision to peep at Wonder Woman! Ha!! Priceless!

DCU Holiday Bash #1: All of the Holiday Bashs were good comics but I have a soft spot for this one because of all the great stories but especially the Walt Simonson and Sal Buscema story where Highfather and Orion fill in as a department store Santa and "Christmas Gnome". Walt's one of about 3 creators who ever GOT the New Gods like Kirby intended and Sal rarely did any DC work so this one is such a special treat.

Untold Tales of Spider-Man Annual #1: Kurt Busiek writing a story where Spider-Man and Sue Storm go on a date which is promptly ruined by Johnny Storm and Namor, drawn by my guy Mike Allred and inked by Marvel Legend Joe Sinnott, equals perfection.

Classic X-Men #27: Every time I read the Classic X-Men vignettes I am left stunned by what an incredible creator John Bolton was. These reprint issues were absolute works of art, perfectly expanding on what came before, always additive, never harmful with simple, clean artwork that Bolton was able to use to infuse the characters with body language and expressions that helped tell those tales so well. This one is my favorite, one of the Ann Nocenti written joints, where Wolverine and Jean are forced together to confront their animalistic heat and passion in the face of a horrifying death.

Batman Returns Movie Adaptation: Another Batmania adaptation! This is another one that stands on equal footing with the movie as it's own thing worth experiencing. Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez's inks over Steve Erwin's pencils are out of this world gorgeous. Some of my favorite comic art ever produced.

Thunderstrike Vol. 1 #16: Like the Thor story above, Eric gets roped into yet another Absorbing Man scheme that ends with Eric promoting a fight between She-Hulk and Titania. It's another hilarious sitcom moment for that weird friendship and has some amazing Frenz art, especially his rendition of She-Hulk and her outfit.

Mortal Kombat 2 collector's Edition Comic: Just like the above first one, this was a mail order tie in comic by John Tobias for the release of MK2. This one is a bit more chaotic but it's so fun seeing the story officially expanded on and seeing more of Kintaro, my fave. I love absolutely anything to do with Mortal Kombat 2.

Adventure Comics #500: This is from the tail end of Adventure Comics when it turned into a digest. This one is all Legion baby!!! Classic after classic after classic from the Silver Age. My absolute favorite shit. All bookended by a fantastic Keith Giffen front and back cover.

Daredevil Vol. 1 #181: I recently reread Miller and Janson's DD run for the first time in over a decade and was pleasantly surprised to see how well it held up and how much I love it more than I ever did. One thing I was particularly struck by, was how much his run resembled a season of television with each issue serving as an episode. He rarely has what we'd call a traditional arc with a continuing story. Sure, stories continue, but time skips, moments are left to the viewer to imagine and fill in, the episodes just keep going forward with an overall seasonal mega-arc focused on Elektra and Matt. He even talks about how the tv he is watching at the time is a big influence on his storytelling in interviews. It's wonderful pacing and planning. This would be your big penultimate episode or your first hour of a season finale (Remember when shows would have 2 hour long special event finales that were essentially two episodes smashed into one? I miss those). Bullseye and Elektra's relationships with Matt expressed herein are eternally complex, ugly, tragic and beautiful.

Daredevil Vol. 1 #179: The Elektra and Daredevil fight in this one should be studied on how to convey movement and action in comics. The sai hitting Urich along with his inner narration should be studied for pacing and storytelling in comics. The art and the PLANNING of the art here can be felt by the reader and teaches so much. This issue is a treasure trove of wisdom on how to make good ass comics.

Daredevil Vol. 1 #175: This would be your mid season finale of Miller and Janson's Daredevil Season. Many of my favorite iconic moments in this issue, from the GORGEOUS opening splash page, to Elektra rolling and throwing her sai at Matt right after, to the masterfully told simultaneous attack on the Hand ninjas by Matt and Elektra. Those pages where Matt fights the ninjas at the bottom of the stairs while Elektra desperately attempts to kill Kirigi at the top of the stairs is such a claustrophobic, anxiety inducing moment. I don't know how but Miller and Janson make you feel like you're there experiencing all the tense panic and fighting. No matter how slow you read it, you feel that rush in your soul as you bounce between Matt and Elektra.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2011 IDW) #65: The Turtles throw a Christmas party and just about every single cast member so far is featured. Mateus Santolouco's art has never looked better, filled with a whimsical fancy for the Holiday and thrown into some experimental storytelling perspectives. This one is guaranteed to make you happy.

Best of DC Blue Ribbon Digest #22: Christmas With the Super-Heroes: A digest sized stocking stuffer that contains my beloved "The Seal Men's War On Santa Claus!" An essential Comfort Food Comics for me, not just at the Holidays, but all year round. The other stories are also Holiday classics, including another old personal CFC fave, Justice League of America #110 - "The Man Who Murdered Santa Claus!"

The Legend of Zelda #2 (Valiant Comics): Growing up we had a bunch of the Valiant Nintendo comics and they comprise some of my earliest memories. None more so than this one. I can remember being like four years old and feeling very outraged that Link kept being tricked. Hahaha I still love this story of that weird diapered man sprite from Zelda 2 as a buddy of Link's.

Hawk & Dove Vol. 3 #20: Dove goes Christmas shopping and ends up in a comedic Die Hard parody all drawn by the master Kevin Maguire. I remember reading this when I was younger and didn't even know who Hawk or Dove were and I STILL LOVED IT!! It's that fantastic!

Klaus and The Crisis in Xmasville: What if Coca-Cola bought Christmas and replaced Santa with their own werewolf Santa from the Dark Multiverse? God bless Grant Morrison

Scarlet Spider Vol. 2 #12: Kaine wants to be hardcore, but the Marvel Universe won't let him was the best premise for a Kaine solo book and I will always treasure this excellent series. My favorite issue is this one where Kaine wants to get drunk and be edgy again but his Parker genes, his new life and his new friends won't let him. Throw in a group of Santa themed criminals, the "quiet downtime plot where the characters hang out" plot you must be sick of reading about by now, and the extremely pleasing Reilly Brown art and you have an instant Holiday classic!

Spider-Man's Tangled Web #21: Darwyn Cooke and J.Bone did two issues of this title that felt like some 50's Alternate reality Marvel Universe and they both were incredible. This one is on a rarified level though for being such an entertaining and heartwarming Christmas chaos story that juggles about a dozen characters so damn well. God this makes me miss Cooke. Damn. RIP

Daredevil Vol. 1 #225: I've had a real internal struggle during multiple rereads of Daredevil: Born Again where I get so whisked away by David Mazzuchelli's art and wonder if it should be in these CFC boxes but those last two issues always let me down compared to the perfection of it's start, and I always end up vetoing it from this list. While I am consistently in awe of Mazzuchelli's art in that story, I find myself loving this issue's art by him even MORE. The opening splash page alone is a Rockwellian portrait fit for framing. This is a strange little story that uses The Vulture to symbolize death as Matt fights that symbol to get over his own depression and suicidal thoughts to want to live again. Denny O'Neil gives us such a fascinating, unique take on The Vulture while also constantly showing and telling us how legit of a threat he is. It's really wonderful angle for him that I haven't really seen in any other appearance of him. All this together makes this such a standout issue.

Spider-Man: The Jackal Files: This isn't exactly a comic, it's more a framing sequence with a set of Who's Who/Official Handbook style pin-up info pages for all the major Spider-Man characters during my favorite Spidey era, The Clone Saga. Rather than being just a boring fact file thing though, the entire book is narrated by The Jackal, as written by the vastly underrated Spidey Legend, Todd DeZago. DeZago is a naturally witty writer and instead of this being a groanfest, he makes this whole thing quite humorous. I had this as a kid and my experience and deep personal connection to it is almost exactly the same as The Parker Years oneshot above.

Batman: Gotham Adventures #51: I was such a fan of these latter era Batman Adventures comics as they tended to have more free reign to carry the continuity forward as the series had ended by this point. This is an emotional issue focusing Mr. Freeze and his wife Nora reuniting since she's been thawed and remarried, with a HUGE twist along the way. I'm not a fan of the Batgirl relationship with Batman but this is the only time I've ever been on board with it. Terry Austin's thick inks over Brad Rader's DCAU/Kirby style makes some spectacularly unique and moody art.

Batman Adventures Vol. 2 #15: The sequel to Gotham Adventures #51 as Nora takes the main character role for another incredibly moving analysis of her and Victor's relationship ending in an inversion of their usual roles. These two stories were written by Jason Hall, who hasn't written much else besides this, which is a real shame, as these are STAGGERINGLY good and would be hailed as some of the best episodes of the Animated Series if they had been the cartoon.

What If? Vol. 2 #4: What if the Alien Costume had possessed Spider-Man? Oh man! What a classic! I love this horror story of the Symbiote as this malevolent being that drains the life from it's host and is always seeking out a stronger host to bond with. This is after Venom's debut by like a year but also way before a lot of the hard rules of the Symbiote were nailed down so it's fun to see this wild alternate take. We get the Symbiote bonding with The Hulk and then Thor, both of which are incredibly cool to see way before Marvel's publishing plan became "Oops, All Venoms!". The decrepit old man Peter becomes after the Symbiote leaves him, Black Cat's revenge mission, and the brutal shock ending; this one is full of great moments. And it's all drawn by a pre superstar Mark Bagley!

The Music Man Adaptation (Dell Comics 1963): I'm such a huge fan of the 1962 film, The Music Man and watch it quite often with my wife. I was pleasantly surprised to see an old comic adaptation of the movie one day. It's a bit.....dry as they do not adapt any of the songs so a ton of the magic is lost but the main gist is all there done with solid artwork and effort which I appreciate. The standout for me is they write out little Winthrop's lisp with -th on all the S words he speaks which is a really fun and charming touch.

Essential X-Men #38: This is a UK reprint title of X-Men that packages together Uncanny X-Men #328 and Sabretooth Special #1. Uncanny #328 is one of Joe Mad's best issues during his run with God Tier art of Boom Boom, Psylocke and Sabes and the Sabretooth Special is an oversized gem by Fabian (Never written a bad comic) Nicieza and 90's less lines Gary Frank! Both of these are two of my favorite single issues so I was overjoyed to find them mashed together as one alltimer single issue complete with exclusive new cover art. The Sabes special is really good and gives a lot of nuanced character depth to Sabes as he tangles with Caliban and then the Original 5 X-Men, each of whom get the same great character depth, particularly Jean.

Everything Sucks: Friends Forever: More of Michael Sweater's Curb Your Enthusiasm meets Tiny Toons franchise. My favorite one yet! This one is really funny from Noah grousing out loud which leads a girl to shockingly talk to him and invite him over to the stupid ass hijinks as the cast gets locked in the bathroom. The art here is spectacular, experimental, diverse and grand and you can noticeably see Sweater's improvement as an artist.

Krania #1: Brian McCray, one my alltime favorite creators, brings us this pulpy Swords & Sorcery Conan-esque tale of Krania, the Warrior Woman. These are such interesting comics because McCray toes the line between satirizing those old Conan Magazines, subtly communicating he's reinterpreting them with a revisionist take, while also not - at it's core these are fun dumb barbarian romps where the creator, the reader and the material are all in on it. McCray takes the thought of "Yeah this shit is goofy and fantastical but isnt that fun?" and plays it straight. The refreshing part is McCray flips gender roles and gives us all the self aware parody tropes of these types of tales but that's not his intent. This isnt meant to sock you in the face with those elements to stand out as something unique. None of that is in the material blatantly. McCray just gets the appeal of his influences and gives us an amazing love letter to the genre. I also have to point out how impressive his shift from whimsical, cartoony art to bone crunching realism fight comics is done and how well it all blends.

Krania #2: More of the same from above but now in color!! The fun of this one is that McCray is free of doing the establishing story and hitting the usual tropes for the homage pull in readers effect and is allowed to start building his own world and cast in his way. I'm constantly impressed by how well McCray conveys movement and the impact and feel of fights. I love to FEEL a fight in comics, bone against bone, sinew against sinew, the shock and blinding impact of blows. There are a lot of fights in this one and the artistic skill is on another level.

Marvel Riot #1: A oneshot classic Mad Magazine style roast of the X-Men Age of Apocalypse event. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS EXISTED UNTIL A FEW WEEKS AGO!??! You'd think something like this would be lame and corny, but the great thing here is it is absolutely BRUTAL! They go in so hard eviscerating everything about the event, the creators, the X-Men, Marvel and the comics industry as a whole. I kept thinking I cant believe theyre doing this while reading. It ends up being hilarious because of that self awareness and the art is great too.

Marvel Collector's Edition - Charleston Chew (1992): Man how odd that Charleston Chew/Sugar Babies was a candy Marvel partnered with for packaging, cards and promo comics like this. I've never had Sugar Babies and I cant reliably even say I've ever had a Charleston Chew. So weird. anyways, this thing is pretty good! We get 4 stories in this one. One is a Spider-Man vs The Eel story by Tony Isabella that is actually pretty funny and has some cute Peter/MJ moments. There's a Howard Mackie written Danny Ketch Ghost Rider story which is fine but more cool it's by the character's actual writer at the time. Man I wish I had this thing as a kid, those two were my favorite characters then. Another story has the Silver Surfer help a red skinned, elf eared blonde alien with humongous breasts in a jungle girl bikini. So you know, it obviously RULES. And the last and best story is a Sam Keith drawn Wolverine and Jubilee tale. It's always a treat to see Sam Keith's Wolvie but it's also really cool to see his Jubes too, complete in the X-Uniform circa Uncanny 275.

X-Men Firsts #1: This is a really cool 1996 single issue package that reprints the first appearance of Wolverine, Rogue, Gambit, and Sinister in Avengers Annual 10, Uncanny X-Men 221 & 266, and Incredible Hulk 181, complete with a new Tim Sale cover. I love that Michael Golden Annual where Rogue first appears, it's one of the best Marvel comics ever published. The Gambit one, even with dull art, is very fun to see the early not defined Remy, back when he had ambiguous powers and was meant to be an aspect of Sinister. The Sinister first appearance is a Claremont/Silvestri/Green personal fave where Madelyne Pryor fights The Marauders in a hospital in a quietly exceptional issue of Uncanny. And lastly the old school Wolvie debut where he fights the Hulk is always a fun read. What a fun single issue jammed full of old issues that then, and even more so now, are too expensive to find themselves.

What If? Vol.2 #44: What If Venom had possessed the Punisher? Kurt Busiek and Luke McDonnell bring us this awesome story of The Punisher using the Symbiote and the Symbiote using The Punisher on their separate revenge crusades.

Superman 80 Page Giant (2010): This one is here for Kathryn Immonen and Tonci Zonjic's wonderful Lois and Clark story. Easily up there in contention for my favorite Lois or Clark story ever. It is so endearing and funny and Lois reminds me so damn much of my own wife here. Some of the other stories are very meh but there's two good'ns at the end that really shows the wholesome innate goodness of Superman and how he affects so many people positively.

Parallax: Emerald Night: I loved Hal Jordan's sloppy turn from boring GL to DC's Magneto and if I had my way he never wouldve sacrificed himself in Final Night. That being said I can't complain about this heart wrenching one shot we got of the character tackling his final moments before he reignited the Sun. Ron Marz once again gives us an excellent character study of this Hal Jordan, coming to terms with who he is now and trying to reconcile that with the past he left behind.

The New Mutants Vol. 1 #51: An excellent one off issue with GORGEOUS artwork from Kevin Nowlan. This is a super weird little story where the New Mutants end up with Xavier when he was in space with Lilandra and the Starjammers(I'm always shocked they never did more with Xavier in space, but also I'm thankful as I loved when Claremont would write people out of the book and they'd stay that way). The art is just stunning, STUNNING I TELL YOU! I really enjoy the interplay between the Professor and Magik in this issue as they both deal with their own struggle to stay in space or go home, to remain stuck in the fear of the past or trust the path they're on and stride into the unknown future. Sadly Xavier basically mindrapes Ilyana into going forward, but I'd argue it's a pretty great character study of him that he has the best intentions and seems so wonderful but is actually unable to truly be the man he believes he is and completely unwilling to go along with anyone who disagrees with himself.

G.I. Joe Yearbook #4: This bad boy makes the list for the very short but incredible story by Larry Hama and Tony Salmons in the back. Scarlett and Snake Eyes as civilians in suits and shades go to a country gas station and Snake eyes ends up having to Macgyver his way out of an armed robbery. All done in Salmon's wonderfully unique abstract artstyle.

Superman Villains Secret Files & Origins: One of the alltime best Secret Files stories. There is no reason Stuart Immonen had to go this HARD, but he did. See, the story is Lex Luthor telling his newborn daughter, Lena all about various Superman foes, but Immonen presents the tales as parodies of Winsor McCay’s Little Nemo in Slumberland. IT'S GLORIOUS! A work of art!

Adventures of The Fly #9: So I was scrolling through a scan of an old Archie Super Hero Digest bored until I came across a story involving some cute and unique catgirl who I came to find out was named the very inventive Cat-Girl. Id never read any of the MLJ/Red Circle/Impact/Archie superhero comics before so I was quickly fascinated by The Fly with his magic ring and buzz gun and seemingly ENDLESS and unlimited array of superpowers related to anything bugs that he could call forth whenever. Cat-Girl seemed like a pretty blatant Catwoman ripoff and she was quite enjoyable freeing cats and seeming to get along with The Fly as he carried her back to her cat infested secret lair. The true hook of Cat-Girl happened here as she instantly betrays him and tells him to solve the riddle of who she is. At this point I expect her to be some character in this universe I don't know but instead she turns out to be the literal Sphinx of Ancient Egypt, an immortal and all powerful cat goddess. MY GOD DO I LOVE THE BATSHIT INSANITY OF SILVER AGE COMICS! Naturally I had to track down every appearance of Cat-Girl. Sadly not many exist. She's in the next issue of The Fly and it's fine but not CFC worthy, so I moved on to her next comic in some other Archie superhero book called.....

Adventures of The Jaguar #4: There was Cat-Girl again, front and center on the cover, proudly proclaiming her return. I'd never even heard of The Jaguar before but quickly came to see he was a very blatant ripoff of The Fly. Both can fly, magic belt instead of a ring, all the vague powers of the animal kingdom rather than bugs. The only unique thing going for him was the fact he had a pencil moustache he magically lost when turning into The Jaguar. I kid, he can also mentally talk to animals. This one ramps up the Silver age insanity even further as The Jaguar faces off against Cat-Girl before she's transported to a dimension where everything is paper thin and the animals in this dimension wanted to help The Jaguar fight Cat-Girl for whatever reason. God, it's insane and amazing. I had to continue to sate my Cat-Girl obsession into....

Adventures of The Jaguar #5: I was reading through this one wondering if there was some mistake on the wiki as I was receiving no Cat-Girl. Instead we get a story about a race of shirtless blue pear shaped aliens who serve some Queen named Tola who for some reason doesn't look like them but instead a 60's actress in a swimsuit. They've brought her to Earth because The Jaguar is the finest specimen to be her mate. They capture him and just when Tola is about to kiss him a gigantic talking lion emerges from the jungle to save him. The aliens shout "The L..Lion Talks! It Has Intelligence!" to which the lion replies "Yes-and the power to carry out my ideas!" Hahahah WONDERFUL! The Lion scares the aliens off planet and it is here where we reveal THE LION IS CAT-GIRL, acting far more bratty and flirty, proclaiming only she will be the one to marry The Jaguar! It was at this point I started to feel like I was reading Silver Age Superman and Lois Lane comics. This feeling only intensified further when reading....

Adventures of The Jaguar #6: Cat-Girl mustve proved popular or they just liked her a lot as she returns once again in two of the three stories in this one!! Cat-Girl is fully smitten now and this turns into an issue of Lois Lane as she schemes to make The Jaguar fall in love with her. She makes a love potion and douses him with it so the next person he sees he'll fall in love with. Shenanigans of course ensue, as Jill Ross comes through the door looking to be The Jaguar's secretary and he instantly falls for her. This enrages Cat-Girl even though she knows it's the potion, leading to this hilarious panel of her throwing a beaker at his head. At this point for no reason at all, the story is revealed to be a dream. Relieved, Cat-Girl goes to visit The Jaguar only to see Jill Ross actually debut and join the book as The Jaguar's co-worker who suspects he is The Jaguar, cementing her place as this book's Lois Lane thematically and visually. This in turn puts Cat-Girl into the Lana Lang role as the fellow scheming romantic interest. This is blatantly done even more so in the second story as Cat-Girl gives herself a magical makeover into a leopard spotted top and boots with a blue mini-skirt and gloves as well as a new red hair ponytail look. Cat-Girl hatches multiple schemes involving a giant living robot and Ancient Egypt monsters she summons from the past, that immediately go awry. To deal with the monsters, The Jaguar travels undersea to find someone named Kree-Nal, The Sea Circe From Space, who can turn anything living into a monster or vise versa. She ends up being a green skinned, platinum white haired knockout in a bathing suit that also is in love with The Jaguar and wants kisses after she helps save the day, leaving a regretful Cat-Girl crying as she's inadvertently drawn another romantic rival into this Jaguar love sweepstakes. HAHAHA WHAT?!?!? AMAZING!! Naturally I had to see if Kree-Nal was in any other issues which led me to....

Adventures of The Jaguar #3: There's Kree-Nal on the cover! Kree-Nal is amazing. A hot green skinned white haired sea creature alien that pops up out of the water and starts turning everyone spitefully into gross animal creatures because she "despises imperfection and ugliness". She's such a hilariously arrogant brat. I love it. Naturally though she's struck by The Jaguar's ruggedly handsome good looks. She wants kisses so he's like look If I ever get ugly, you'll stop all this ok? and she's like of course you're so hot that will never happen now shut up and give me the damn kisses. Inexplicably, The Jaguar morphs his head into a real jaguar's head, a power he has never shown before or after. She gets real grossed out and returns to the sea. It is some of the absolute FINEST Silver age insanity. At this point I feel like The Jaguar is just Superman with Jill Ross as his Lois, Cat-Girl as his Lana, and Kree-Nal as his Lori Lemaris, so I had to look up who wrote these. Turns out it's Robert Bernstein, who go figure, wrote a ton of Superman franchise books during this time period too. I was right! These are just the absolute best of the batshit weird Supes romances of the time but with the dullard Jaguar instead of Supes. Of course, I NEEDED more of this romantic trio and thankfully I was served well with....

Adventures of The Jaguar #7: In this one The Jaguar is having anxiety dreams about not being able to handle all the shit he usually has to deal with and he disappears on a mission. Jill Ross, Cat-Girl and Kree-Nal jump into action handling the threats the world faces in his absence. They are really run ragged throughout the day on mission after mission until Jill realizes the life size statue she made of The Jaguar (YES! YES, SERIOUSLY!) has a different number of whiskers on the uniform. Yep that's right, The Jaguar has just been standing there all day motionless pretending to be a statue watching them as they are being tortured by these catastrophes as well as the emotional turmoil of him being missing, possibly dead. See, he was a little worried he may be too busy someday and needed to make sure someone, hopefully all of them stepped up to deal with it. HAHAHAH SILVER AGE BASTARD! It's at this point they all put their hands in and he proclaims them the "Jaguar Rescue Team". Yes, amazing, everything I could ever want. I am fully obsessed with these characters at this point. I love them so much. It's at this point I want the Jaguar to permanently exit his own book so we can just get the adventures of these three. Sadly that doesn't happen and the only other time they ever team up is.....

Adventures of The Jaguar #9: A bizarre robot alien travels the universe to find iron, the sustenance for his people and finds it on Earth, obviously putting him in conflict with The Jaguar. Jaguar is almost immediately murdered, essentially, and this robot lays eyes on Jill Ross and gets SUPER horny for her. She plays him for time and assembles the "Jaguar Rescue Team" and the three of them take over the comic to save the day in a grand adventure and bring Jaguar back to life, again showing that they should headline this book and not the dolt Jaguar. At this point I was so madly in love with them all and their crazy ass adventures that I couldnt possibly imagine it to be the end. That's right, they never team up again. In fact this is pretty much the swan song for each. Jill continues to be in the few remaining issues of Jaguar sparingly. Kree-Nal is never seen again as far as I know. And Cat-Girl, my beloved Cat-Girl, the cause of this grand journey, well, she shows up another time briefly, and they even make it seem like she's end game for Jaguar, but then her next appearance she reveals off panel that radiation has caused her to lose all her powers and she's just a normal human socialite with a completely different visual with black hair. They turn her into a less interesting Selina Kyle. I've rarely been more angry. Damn!! Oh well, I sure didn't expect it but these random ass issues of some obscure lame superhero ended up being CFC alltimers for me. The magic of Comfort Food Comics right there people.

Superman & Batman Magazine #7: This entire series is pure gold. A spinoff of the Batman Adventures line of DC Adventures, each issue was a short magazine styled package for kids that would establish the DC Animated Universe before the DCAU existed all done by Adventures mainstay artists Mike Parobeck and Rick Burchett. This one is my favorite as the focus is on my beloved Kyle Rayner. We get a poster, Fact Files, and a wonderful Kyle Rayner Adventures story written by the man himself, Ron Marz. While that's my main reason for loving this one it also contains a fantastic Dan Jurgens penned Superman/Doomsday Adventures tale as well as a whole section titled Milestone For Kids! That's right, the Milestone Imprint gets a spotlight and their actual creators do their own version of Milestone Adventures with Icon, Rocket, Hardware and Static. It's such a cool idea and I love they got that exposure and this rare version of those amazing characters.

Jean & Scott Vol. 1: A collection of Max Wittert's hilarious X-Men fan comics. Legit probably the best X-Men comics ever made. The blend of all the comic and Animated Series tropes filtered through Jean being just the worst, but EXTREMELY relatable, is pure genius.

Jean & Scott Vol. 2: More of the same of the above. Still the funniest shit ever made.

Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #287: How fascinating that the best Whilce Portacio era X-Men story is the only one he's not credited in whatsoever. I LOVE this issue. It's maybe the most cohesive issue of the post Claremont Image Boys tenure and certainly the only one that makes you think "Ok, maybe we are in good hands, maybe we will be ok that Chris is gone." Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell pack this one full of tantalizing stuff! The Witness, named Lebeau, which was revealed to be Gambit's last name in X-Men #6, which dropped right before this issue, is so mysterious and intriguing. The X-Traitor storyline is introduced here, and will dominate X-Men media for years before fizzling out, but here it's done in such a mysterious and fun way that you are fully on board. As much as I think Bishop's introduction a few issues earlier is done well enough in the way he's a fully formed character whole cloth from his first panel, I don't actually think that story arc is good. Fitzroy SUUUUUCKS, as does the complete waste of the Hellions as they are all murdered, as well as the ending of just leaving Bishop, the XSA members and the escaped future convicts just out there. Portacio just is a terrible plotter and writer. He's a generally great dude and a fantastic artist but just should be told what to draw and end there. More care and potential is given to Bishop, his compatriots Malcom and Randall, Fitzroy, and the future era Bishop comes from in this issue than literally any other instance, which is a huge shame, but it erases any bad taste from the intro story. Rather than leave Bishop with just the admittedly genius hook of X-Men fanboy now stuck in the past with the X-Men, Malcom and Randall are murdered giving Bishop a bit more emotional depth and the sole focus he deserves, and he finally joins the X-Men motivated to protect them from the mysterious traitor. This is also the first issue to feature John Romita Jr. back on Uncanny. No lie, his brief time on the title with Dan Green is to me the best his art has ever looked. Sadly Green isn't with him here as a gaggle of 5 different inkers instead do the job including Scott Williams, Bob Wiacek, Bill Sienkiewicz and Dan Panosian, who just happen to be some of my favorite inkers ever, so it's still a visual feast!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Villains Micro-series #7: BEBOP AND ROCKSTEADY! How can you not love them? Dustin Weaver and Ben Bates bring us this absolute romp with our favorite idiot rhino and warthog mutants. Weaver's work with the duo is a huge bright spot for the IDW Turtles and anytime we get to see artwork from Ben Bates is a time for intense celebration. He's an artistic God and I love anything he ever does.

Savage Tales Vol. 1 #5: My memory is hazy but when I was a kid we'd sometimes visit this antique shop in our town and one day my Mom bought some marble top chest thing to put in our home. Now I remember this comic being inside a drawer in that antique, but it may have just been on top of it in the store. Either way when we wound up with that chest we wound up with this comic. What an absolute treasure!! I didn't know Conan really at the time but finding a comic while forced to antique with your Mom? Like a prayer answered to a little boy obsessed with comics. It was insane!!! To this day, the Conan story within which ends with a hilarious joke of him choosing a horse over a woman, is MY Conan story. The end all be all top of the pile Conan story. Of course, it's written by Roy Thomas but it also features great art by Jim Starlin, which is always something I forget but end up pleasantly surprised at every time I reread it. The bonus in this one is an equally great Ka-Zar story by Stan Lee and John Buscema about lizard people and their half naked Queen.

Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #310: As I mentioned above, there's a short little run of Scott Lobdell, John Romita Jr., Dan Green Uncanny X-Men that only lasts from 300-311. It's one of my alltime favorite runs for the X-Franchise and features what I consider to be John Romita Jr's best art. He was KILLING it these few years in the early 90's and his stuff never looked better than when he was inked by my favorite inker ever, Dan Green. Although my fave issue of this run is the Thanksgiving issue listed above, this is a close second. Nothing really happens here, sure the X-Cutioner infiltrates the Mansion, but really it's a quiet downtime issue where Cyclops and Cable FINALLY hash it out about their father and son relationship all while the male X-Men hang out at a bar waiting for Scott to have his Bachelor Party. Sabretooth pops in too, during his captivity/rehab at the Mansion period. If you've been reading these entries you should see that all these ingredients are what I crave and love, so this one is a tremendous favorite. (Super Bonus: This one has an order form for Thunderstrike and ads for Mega Man X, Street Fighter 2 Champion Edition, and the 94 Fleer X-Men Cards)

Captain America Vol. 1 #367: Ah my beloved Acts of Vengeance, a real VIP event in my CFC boxes. This is an absolute classic one shot where after Magneto and Red Skull are forced together into the villain consortium, Mark Gruenwald rightly asks "Why doesnt Magneto, survivor of Auschwitz, FUCK UP the Red Skull?" and devotes an entire issue to that. It's great and so satisfying.

The New Mutants vol. 1 #52: Half of this issue is devoted to a Danger Room sequence of the Marauders wrecking the New Mutants, which is cool and fun to look at because it's Rick Leonardi, but the real draw here is Headmaster Magneto supporting and bonding with Magik. In the previous issue, as I wrote about above, Xavier and Ilyana are compared in their personalities and difficult circumstances, but Xavier ultimately fails her, as he literally forces her to obey him and do what he wants against her free will without any doubts in what he's doing. It's for the greater good, Magik be damned, his way is right. In this story we get the contrast to Xavier's and Magneto's leadership methods as Magneto thinks how wrong he is for the position and how he could force Magik to obey him, but that would achieve nothing. Instead he calmly and gently listens to her and supports her in any way she needs. He opens up and becomes vulnerable discussing his own villainous dark side and past, comparing it to her own struggles in an empathic way and even offers to fight the Hordes of Limbo for her. A very important thing here is he offers, but takes no action without her consent. She ultimately says no, she needs to deal with her own problems and through all this feels empowered and closer than ever before with ol Mags. It's a resounding breakthrough and a wonderful character study for both of them. I don't know if Claremont was purposefully contrasting Xavier and Mags' approaches between issues but this was such a meaningful stepping stone on his years long rehab of the character into the rightful leader of the X-Men over Xavier as planned.

Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #183: This is the issue where Wolverine and Nightcrawler bring Colossus to a bar to fuck him up after he broke up with Kitty Pryde, ultimately pushing him into an insane brawl with The Juggernaut. Now don't get me wrong, THAT PART IS AWESOME!! But, there's so much more going on here besides that. From the brutally real break up convo Kitty and Colossus have, complete with Kitty's thought bubbles, to Storm, Rogue and the others dealing with their own shit in the mansion, all the way to the seemingly random girl Juggs is macking on at the bar being revealed to be Selene, this issue is a perfect example of Claremont's long form character development and storytelling every issue. This is also an early John Romita Jr./Dan Green collab and while not as incredible as their early 90's team-up, it's still so nice to look at.

Beautiful Duck Comics #1: A collection of Brian McCray's strange and sexy duck women. I'm a sucker for literally anything McCray draws, so I was already down, but I really enjoyed these esoteric slice of bizarre life tales with a cast of hot ducks. I mean I shouldn't have to say more than hot ducks. It rules. We as a society need more hot ducks. I really hope we get more of these from McCray.

Generation X Vol. 1 #25: I don't remember how I came to own this one. Maybe I found it at a comic shop, maybe it was gifted to me(people always knew I liked comic books so family and family friends would get me boxes at garage sales or random ones they'd find). Who knows? That memory escapes me. But I've had this one a long time. Well before I read any of the rest of the series. Maybe that's why I love it so much OR maybe it's because of the incredibly stylistic Chris Bachalo art that exists in a very small moment of time where it's a blend of his earlier Mark Buckingham inked stuff and his polarizing late 90's style OR maybe it's because it spotlights how weird and wonderful this series was with it's focus on Howard the Duck, his girl Bev, a random Recorder alien woman and the kid crew of Artie, Leech and Franklin Richards they'd babysit in this series OR maybe it's because it's a double sized special issue that is also Scott Lobdell's farewell to the series. The only downside to this issue is that the cast of kids besides Penance and Jubilee aren't really even in it.

X-Force Vol. 1 #25: This and Wolverine #75 listed above are comics I've had nearly my whole life. I didn't buy them and I have no actual origin for where they came from. My best guess is my oldest brother bought them because of the hologram card special covers they had. He never really bought X-Men comics though, so who knows?? Either way I've had this one since I was a kid and it was my first exposure to Cable and the cast of characters here. The idea presented here that Cannonball is the best leader of mutants because he's been taught by Xavier, Magneto and Cale and is able to blend all of their teachings together into an ideal form of leadership is something that's stuck with me forever. I love it so much and besides Mike Carey briefly toying with this, it's never been utilized as it should. This is just a great issue packed with wonderful character interplay between Cable and the team as he finally gives a long exposition to all his secrets (aka Rob Liefeld's dumb writing), as well as between Magneto and his former students that are in X-Factor. Greg Capullo's early art also rules even if he has like 10 inkers here.

The New Mutants Vol. 1 #53: The New Mutants go to a dance thrown by the Hellions at their Massachusetts Academy!!! What fun. Some of my favorite moments are Dani Moonstar and Warpath bonding over being leaders and Native Americans, Magik threatening a terrified Empath while they dance, Catseye and Rahne going animal form and running around, and Doug Ramsey gambling and drinking and hanging out with the Hellions bad girls and acting like an idiot just like an insecure teen would. (Fuck you Doug for that slap)

Captain America Vol. 1 #395: I've written before about how most of the comics I had as a kid was a big random batch of Marvel Comics that came in a Sears/JC Penney green Marvel shortbox in these Collector's Packs they used to do in the 80's to the early 90's you'd find in the Sears or JC Penney Wishbooks. The green shortbox had like 75 random Marvel Comics in it from the line between 1990-1991. Me and my brother may have gotten two of these from our parents. So yeah for most of my life the comics I owned were a random assortment of early 90's Marvel. One of which was this random Cap issue. Now as a kid, unless it had Spidey or Ghost Rider or like Sauron or someone dinosaur related I was barely interested. Me and my brother though for our whole life fondly remembered the tagline on this one : The House That Dripped......DOUGH?!" and still to this day say it stupidly and dramatically to each other. As an adult I'm delighted to find it a rather fun issue with my beloved Eric Masterson featured heavily. They even have Cap admonish Eric, Quasar and Herc for the events of Thor 437 which I wrote about above!! What a treat to find!! This is a comic that has survived with me throughout and will stay with me my entire life.

Adventures of Superman Annual #3: Ahh the Armageddon 2001 Annuals. They all dealt with some future story for the DC line and I generally love them all, good or bad. This one is a real fave as we get Superman after the death of Lois, leaving Earth and shacking up with Maxima. Nothing beats Lois & Clark, but damn if I don't love the idea of Supes and Maxima together and Louise Simonson gives us an oversized imaginary tale of just that with some early Bryan Hitch art.

DC Primal Age: I came across this 100 Page Giant while shopping at Target with my wife and had to buy it. This was a Target exclusive book that tied into Funko's brief DC Primal Age toyline, which reimagined the DC Universe as a barbarian fantasy world with figures that were DC characters like the original Masters of the Universe toys. AWESOME! They were pretty neat and I'm bummed we never got Wave 3 and 4. I wanted that Supergirl and Catwoman damnit!! Anyways this book is an anthology of stories that function like the He-Man mini comics for this line. We start with a Marv Wolfman story that relies heavily on artist Scott Koblish to do everything in his power to make cool and interesting and he can barely do that. Somehow Wolfman makes this whole thing dull as can be. Man, Wolfman really sucks 95% of the time. Thankfully, the rest of the stories wash away that dullard's uninspired attempt with a roster of old school legends. We actually get a written AND DRAWN by Jerry Ordway tale featuring Wonder Woman and Solomon Grundy, a Louise Simonson and Phil Winslade beautifully illustrated story of the ice mage Mister Freeze, another Weezy tale about Batman with Brent Anderson art, an interesting Ordway written Joker story with Chuck Patton and Karl Kesel, and finally another Wolfman regular ass DC inventory story that thankfully Keith Pollard and Jose Marzan Jr. manage to save.

Thing Vol. 1 #15: This is another mystery comic we had for my entire life. Much like the Cap issue above this was one me and my brother fondly remember for the cover and the tagline. We said "It happened on yagwibzehejeye Street" to each other as much as we did the dough line. I never actually read it as a kid and was always baffled by it. Where the fuck is the Thing and why can he turn into this lame dude in a one piece bathing suit? Like what?? That red head's pretty and cool though. I was happy to get older and read more comics and finally get the required context and understand this story. It's actually a pretty fun little issue where Ben and his gal go to an alien bar. Somehow, like the Cap issue this one has survived all the different phases and moves in my life and I still own that battered copy. This one will also accompany me to my grave.

The Terrifics #25: Overall I felt the Dark Matter/New Age of DC Heroes thing by DC was a dumb failure of an idea that rarely went anywhere beyond "this is based on a Marvel character". (Sideways was cool though, him and his sleepy eyed friend. I wish they'd have given Sideways more love.) The Terrifics was always a weird this is pretty forced idea for a team but it usually had good art and out of left field ideas, and no issue exemplifies that more than this charming Choose Your Own Adventure issue with art by Dan Mora. It's pure fun.

Fantastic Four Vol. 1 #275: Man, I hate, like REALLY HATE but also love John Byrne. I don't get it. He's just the grade a worst manbaby idiot but also I love so many of his prime era comics and art, especially his dumb horny shit. This issue really embodies that love/hate relationship as the dude seriously takes a whole issue of FF to write a story where She-Hulk sunbathes topless and someone snaps pics of it and sells them to a dirty magazine. THAT'S IT! A WHOLE ISSUE! It's so stupid and sleazy. BUT it's also really fun to see sexy She-Hulk antics and it's quite satisfying to see Shulkie's attempt to stop it. Basically just like his run on She-Hulk, it's a titillating sexy romp with hilarious stupid satire nonsense. I hate it yet I also DEEPLY love it. That's Byrne for you!

Justice League International Vol. 1 #24: It's hard to pick specific bits of the JLI era to add to the CFC Canon as I greatly adore nearly every single issue of it so much, but this one has managed to carve out it's own corner of my brain. Mostly because of the Maguire drawn last tale where the glut of JL members have their party ruined by a small group of lame villains who never expected so many heroes to be in the same room together. But this also features stories with the wonderful art of Ty Templeton and Dan Spiegle, so it's like a full course comfort food meal.

Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone: An Elseworlds future oneshot where Adam Warren is just left alone to cook. It's basically DC 2099, with very tenuous connections to the actual Titans, influenced by but allowed to really be it's own thing that can stand on it's own. It breaks my heart we never got to see Warren do more with this.

Origins of Marvel Comics: A 2010 oneshot where every page is a one off "story" showing the origin and throughline to the 2010 version of Marvel's teams and characters. I'm always shocked they got so many big name artists and the actual artists associated with those characters to do these.

Origins of Marvel Comics: X-Men: Same as the above but focused specifically on the X-Men. This one again gets big name artists associated with the characters, but also some nice unique surprises like Jill Thompson. The highlight surprisingly though is the writing team which includes second best X-Men writer ever Mike Carey, third best X-Men writer ever Chris Yost, and other fave X-writers like Peter David and James Asmus.

Harley Quinn Vol. 4 #29: The main story here is meh whatever. What I'm here for is the Adam Warren backup that is not only the traditional Warren hilarious and gorgeous, but also one of the best character studies for Harley ever done. Man, I'm realizing I REALLY LOVE Adam Warren. One thing that irks me so godamn much is they didn't have Warren do one of the three variant covers for this issue. THEY HAD HIM DO VARIANTS FOR ISSUES BEFORE AND AFTER, WHY WOULDNT THEY FOR THIS ONE?!?!? ARGHHHH! So I hunted down this Natali Sanders sexy nightgown one instead. I enjoy it a lot but would kill for a Warren cover of this one.

The New Mutants Vol. 1 #21: A quiet and charming down time issue with mutant teens being mutant teens AND it's drawn by Bill Sienkiewicz AND it's double sized?!? Pshh, forget it! What an absolute classic! Can you imagine just getting a regular monthly comic these days that's oversized and has Bill Sienkiewicz level art?? Godamn, this one is special.

Superman Vol. 4 #7: A one shot set during the time Clark and Lois were raising little Jon in Kansas. And all they do is go to the County Fair!! IT'S INCREDIBLE!!! This one really hits for me because we always have the Erie County Fair come to town where I live and since I was born it's always an annual community Big Deal. A quiet down time issue again, my absolute jam as you must know by now. Surprisingly, I always forget this one is drawn by Jorge Jimenez before he became a breakout star.

Immortal X-Men #5: I hate what the Krakoan X-Men era very quickly became after Hickman set up so much and can't stand much of what was published near the latter part of the era, but one exception was the EXCELLENT character work Kieron Gillen did with Exodus. I've always loved Exodus and felt he had so much story potential and had barely been used or explored since his debut in the 90's. My socials are gone now but I actually spent quite a bit of time making an Exodus infograph/reading order some years back. I love the guy and I've been waiting so many years for him to get his due. Mike Carey did some nice work with him but essentially he's been a blank canvas for much of his existence. Gillen's time with him has been a revelation(pun intended) as he's finally revealed what his power actually is in a deeply satisfying OHHHHH OK YEAHHH THAT'S GREAT moment earlier in the run in conjunction with his relationship with Hope Summers, and this deep dive issue that tied into the AXE event. From revealing new canon, to connecting and reframing old, this story finally gives Exodus the care and development he's always deserved.

Astro Dutchie: Aaron Ancheta is an online acquaintance of mine and it's been an honor to chat with him and see behind the scenes of the comics he makes. I'm absolutely in love with every single piece of artwork he's ever done. His long running and ever changing ACHTUNG!! Magical Girl Corps webcomic is always such fun to read. The huge bummer of all this is how none of it is in print so it was a godsend when he put out this stupid, hilarious side story for sale. It's a true joy to physically hold in my hands and a real gem in my collection.

Justice (1994): Not actually a comic but a collection of great content put together from the Japanese doujin fanzines Justice and Gadget. It's incredibly fascinating to read about the Japanese perspective on popular American comics from the 80s and early 90's and see the wide range of fan art many of these fan artists created.

Nation X #3: As I wrote above, Corey Lewis is my guy. He's my comics GOAT. He contributes a story in here about Cannonball. One of my fave X-characters by my dude??? Forget it! It's so entirely my shit. I love this fun little story so so much.

Superman #400: A momentous celebration of Supes. I'm not a huge fan of all the many short stories within, but they do honor the character very well and feature some inspired ideas and wonderful art. The real reason I love this one so much is the whole big package, including pin-ups by so many legends alongside all the stories. It's one of the alltime best anniversary comics.

X-Men: Curse of the Mutants - Storm & Gambit: This is such a weird, obscure little comic. It's a one shot tie-in to a largely forgotten and middling event where the X-Men fought vampires. It has no reason to be this good. We get a fantastic action packed adventure that features great characterization and character interplay between the X-Men that honors past continuity, really heartbreaking and strong moments, and it's all drawn by mega fave Chris Bachalo.

Ghost Rider Vol. 6 #35: Johnny Blaze in Japan versus a body horror demon that looks like Sailor Moon, all drawn amazingly by Tony Moore. What else could you ever ask for in a comic?

Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #309: Another in the Scott Lobdell/John Romita Jr. Uncanny run. Seriously I just love this run so much. This is another classic Lobdell "Quiet Issue" where the spirit of Magneto in Charles' mind forces him to examine his love life and failings as a man. It's Lobdell's best written issue in my mind. (My only nitpick with this issue is when the Mags spirit says "Ennnnt" like a buzzer wrong answer noise to Charles. Hahah I can't picture either man speaking that way)

Venom #150: Can we all sit and take a moment to appreciate that we get to live in an era where we can experience the mindblowing art of Tradd Moore? This is a severely overlooked anniversary one shot that features Moore doing his usual blowing up the artform style in an admittedly pedestrian written tale, but it doesn't matter because we get to see his spectacular take on the Symbiote and how it moves and works as well as plenty of other Venom history callbacks and dynamic fights. It's a visual masterpiece. There's also a fun bonus David Michelinie/Ron Lim 90's Venom story with gorgeous retro coloring.

X-Factor Vol. 1 #25: Easily the best issue of X-Factor. X-Factor Vol. 1 is a maddening title, always shifting from an insomnia cure to essential X-Book, even when Walt Simonson was drawing it. It never makes sense how it constantly goes from peaks to valleys. This one is definitely the highest peak as Angel is dramatically revealed to be Archangel to the team and we get big world conquering stakes with Apocalypse. It also features the best work from Walt during his tenure on the book.

Dragon Ball Part Four #6: More of Viz's initial American floppy comic version of Dragon Ball. One of my favorite gag fights in the whole series that hinges on Bulma's boobs popping out, fully uncensored in this unique publishing run. Also one of my fave Toriyama color pieces as the cover here!

Excalibur Vol. 1 #43: The best issue of Excalibur. Alan Davis' run on Excalibur is a real highmark of comics full of witty humor, zany antics, and peak character interplay. This issue is a perfect representation of all of that in one single issue package.

DC Universe #0: A 2008 50 cent hype comic that featured exclusive little preview stories for such stories as Legion of 3 Worlds, Batman RIP, Final Crisis and more written by Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns and featuring art from Doug Mahnke, George Perez, and more. It's such a wonderful snapshot of 2000's DC by the two main architects of the company during that period.

Martian Manhunter Vol. 2 #24: A flashback "imaginary story" set during the JLI days where J'onn becomes possessed and too addicted to Chocos and Hulks out needing his fix. It's a dark comedy masterpiece by John Ostrander along with a dream team of Doug Mahnke inked by Patrick Gleason.

FF Vol. 2 #9: I think Matt Fraction's FF is one of Marvel's alltime greatest comics and my favorite issue of the run is this silly downtime pool party issue. It features the whole sprawling cast in a fun filled setting bouncing off each other that really gets to highlight the found family theme of the series. It also features Joe Quinones filling in for the Allreds on art and he is always a MEGA fave of mine.

Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 #311: The last John Romita Jr. drawn issue of his Lobdell Uncanny run I love so much. I can't complain too much as Joe Madureira gets his rise to fame right after but I'm still annoyed we didn't get more of this creative team run after Editor Bob Harras basically tricked JR Jr. off the book. I felt Scott Lobdell was really gelling with Romita Jr. for these issues and finally coming into his own as a writer as he was really getting a handle on fusing his action issues and quiet issues together into just really good all around issues. This one is the best example of that as we get a really nice quiet character focus on Bishop, Jubilee and Storm that also features a kickass Sabretooth conflict and a weaving of the ongoing Phalanx subplot into the story. A bummer Dan Green doesn't ink the whole issue but Al Vey steps in and does a pretty great job even if he goes a bit too heavy on the lines.

Archie #635: An Occupy Wall Street storyline in Riverdale. The writing is fine. The reason it's here is because it's a Gisele Lagace drawn Archie. I find her art at all times captivating and gorgeous and it just fits Archie Comics so well. It's somehow still "classic Archie style" while also being something so fresh and new. She's just SUCH an incredible artist!

X-Men: Earthfall: A 90's deluxe reprint of Uncanny X-Men #232-234 where the Brood come to Earth and my beloved Outback X-Men need to murder the shit out of them, all while Madelyne Pryor deals with some serious psychological shit. This is my favorite story arc set during that special era and it's so cool they reprinted it all in one comic with a nice new Ian Churchill cover.

Dragon Ball Part 2 #2: This issue collects both chapters of the debut of Launch. It is a terrible tragedy and mystery that Toriyama forgets about her way later on as she's easily one of the best characters ever. I love her.

Batman Vol. 1 Annual #8: The absolute best of the 80's James Bond vibes Batman by Mike Barr, the GORGEOUS pencils and inks of underrated legend Trevor Von Eeden, and the mindblowing colors of Lynn Varley. This thing is a work of art. Seriously. Each page should be hung in a museum. The perspective work and the line work Von Eeden unleashes here are spectacular. And Varley's psychedelic blend of colors here are my favorite work she has ever done. It's a high stakes Ra's Al Ghul story (my fave Bats villain) which people often criticize for Batman not caring if he's complicit in Ra's dying. To me I think it's perfect characterization as I feel of all his villains, the "immortal" constantly resurrecting biggest threat madman, SHOULD and would be dealt with this way by Batman. He knows Ra's' whole deal by this point, he doesn't need to swing in and save him like a common criminal, he will never truly be rid of him.

Daredevil Vol. 1 #268: A haunting and overwhelmingly satisfying, brilliant examination of the human condition and Matt Murdock's entire personality and how he interacts with the world and all the people in it, in a brutal one and done by, you guessed it, Nocenti and JR Jr. again!

Magneto #0: A mid 90's Fatal Attractions prequel complete with holofoil cover that collects the two Magneto focused Classic X-Men stories by Chris Claremont and John Bolton, a new Fabian Nicieza endcap and a few pinups. The Magneto Classic X-Men stories are some of the best work Claremont ever did and are still the gold standard for Magneto and his characterization. As close to perfection as you can get. What a treat to have them in this wonderful little package with new extras. The only downside being this contains more of Nicieza's downright offensive and ill researched retcon to make Mags of Gypsy descent that he fully went into in X-Men Unlimited #2.

Classic X-Men #8: This battles it out with I, Magneto in the one shot above for best backup story in all of Classic X-Men, where we see Jean dying as she meets the Phoenix for the first time. Claremont destroys the whole "Phoenix and Jean are separate beings" retcon, and presents such a touching story of a girl and an omnipresent Force having a chat and reconciling the fact they are the same being, mind, body and soul, and ultimately choosing to live life and embrace all of its contradictory happiness, messiness, tragedy, and passion.

Everything Sucks: Noah's Millions: More Everything Sucks! Noah finds a bag of cash and hijinks ensue with the usual EXTREMELY relatable feelings and dialogue that accompanies every Everything Sucks comic. I adore the perfect sandwich and thrift store double page spreads in this issue as well as Calla's cute goth dress.

Dragon Ball Z Part 2 #8: The opening chapter of the Goku/Vegeta fight, arguably the greatest Shonen fight chapter ever made, featuring the most iconic and my favorite panels of the Dragon Ball Z era.

Generation X - Opening Volley: I LOVE Generation X but I also find the series to be highly disappointing. It starts off so ridiculously good and never reaches those highs again. I've read just about every interview or promo material they ever did for the title and Scott Lobdell had some big plans for the book, that by about the first year of the book existing, around issue #8 or post the Girl's Dorm exploding, he completely drops. The plan to continually develop the kids so they graduate and we get new classes of mutants coming in never happens. Mondo never really joins the team. M, Penance and Emplate all become something vastly different than conceived. Dozens of dangling plots or hints vanish. It becomes a Howard the Duck book. Mark Buckingham leaves and Chris Bachalo's artstyle changes so much. It's a huge bummer. BUT for a time, we got some gold nonetheless I truly cherish, including the absolute height of the series, this special promotional issue given away at the 1994 San Diego ComiCon, full of all the amazing potential the book promised. It represents Lobdell and Bachalo's original vision for the series set a bit into the future, before things quickly changed. The original thesis of the book and the team is all there, these are kids who won't necessarily become X-Men, but they will be taught and learn how to deal with the world that hates and fears them. Mondo is a main member. Emplate, M and Penance are all their own intriguing original characters full of mystery and potential without any St. Croix family connections or retcons. Jubilee functions as the main POV character. And it's all set directly after the Girl's Dorm has exploded. This is sadly, as far as Lobdell ever plotted out for the book prior to writing it. In those same interviews the man says he never plots past the issue he's writing for creative spontaneity and boy does that show, NEGATIVELY, in his work. He is the definition of no plot, all vibes comics. The beginning of Gen X, his trademark Uncanny X-Men quiet issues, all amazing and all very light on continuing story plot. This is what ultimately starts Gen X as a unique, brilliant masterpiece but quickly turns it into a bitter disappointment. A bonus is the copy I own is signed by Lobdell, Bachalo and Richard Starkings.

Dragon Ball Part 1 #5: More OG Dragon Ball, this time with the chapter of Yamcha peeping on Bulma getting out of the shower, presented here again in the fully uncensored glory of the Viz floppies.

Roxxon Presents: Thor #1: An absolutely hilarious laugh out loud romp that parodies everything in our current hellhole of American capitalist culture. Villain Dario Agger has bought the rights to the old Thor comics and name and using a combination of magic creates a soulless corporate hire Thor. That they got Greg Land, the finest example of a soulless corporate hire artist, to do the art is such a perfect choice. So godamn funny.

Rom and the X-Men: Marvel Tales: With Marvel reacquiring publishing rights to Rom, they released this oversized oneshot package that collects ROM #17-18 and #31-32, all written by Bill Mantlo and drawn by Sal Buscema. Both stories feature X-Characters and the absolute horror show that is Hybrid, the disgusting and evil offspring of a Dire Wraith and a human, which Cerebro scans as a mutant. The first story features a great three way battle between Rom, Hybrid and the X-Men and has elements I love like Mantlo writing a Wolverine that sounds exactly like the Animated Series Wolvie and Buscema drawing a wonderfully emotive Kitty Pryde. The followup story features Rom vs Mystique's Brotherhood of Evil Mutants and Hybrid again. This is a particularly important story as it is the only story featuring a pre X-Men Rogue that delves into her personality softening and going against Mystique's control and resembling the heroic X-Man she becomes. Buscema also does an incredible job drawing her and helps shift her from the old lady look into the Southern Sexpot we eventually get. It's an incredibly fun fast paced tale and integral to her character development and history.

X-Men Classic #54: This is a reprint of Uncanny X-Men #150 which is the first true story where Claremont retcons Magneto to be a Holocaust survivor and starts his magnificent and brilliant reclamation project for the character to change him from Silver Age maniac to noble leader of the X-Men. It is a stunning work of art, highlighting the best of Claremont's writing as well as the best of Dave Cockrum's art. Easily the highpoint of their second run together and arguably the best work they ever produced together. Why do I have the Classic X-Men reprint rather than the original issue? Well, I've always loved that new Andy Kubert cover, the brighter coloring, as well as the fact this 1990 reprint contains ads for the specific Marvel Universe Series 1, NBA Hoops and Skybox NBA Trading Card sets that I owned and adored and dominated my young life. Not to mention the Revlon Super Mario Bros Shampoo ad, another ad burned into my memory.

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