#not a huge fan of the letters across the front but i love that they look like the guardians of traffic

[dreamlandgirlie]

oh he cute and so are the city connects

#not a huge fan of the letters across the front but i love that they look like the guardians of traffic #and i REALLY like the stripes on the side #and that hat! ppl were hating on that specifically but lowkey i wanna buy it #mlb baseball #baseball #cleveland guardians

[elliezato]

𝚅𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙴𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎₊˚⊹♡

Pairing: ellie x reader

Summary: You're not a huge fan of valentines day but your girlfriend has other ideas.

Warnings: MDNI!! NSFW!! edging, sex, strap-on, fingering, eating out, cussing

a/n: Sorry this is a little lateeee. I've been so busy today but I just HAD to write a fic for valentines day!! It's a bit rushed but I wanted to get something out before the day ended. I'll probably put out some loser!ellie valentines headcanons later tonight as well<3 I hope you all had a good day and enjoy this little date fic with ellie!!

❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

Valentine's Day has never been something you cared about. It's tacky with all the cheap chocolate and stupid cards. You told your girlfriend you didn't want to do anything for Valentine's this year. All you really wanted was to snuggle up with her on the couch after work and maybe have a drink to celebrate.

You open the door to your shared apartment and set your shoes to the side. All the lights are off and everything is quiet. You call for Ellie but there's no answer. As you set your bag down on the counter you see a white envelope closed with a red heart. You pick it up to look at it and slowly open it. Inside is a letter and it reads...

"Meet me at ______ restaurant tonight at 9. There's a little something for you in the bedroom." - Love els ᥫ᭡

You close the letter and place it on the table. As you walk into the bedroom you see a red gift bag. You pick it up and pull out a black lacy dress with a small heart cutout in the chest. You have been eyeing this dress for a while and were surprised that Ellie even remembered. The dress isn't anything super sexy but it's something you've been wanting for a while. Ellie was never the type to buy you lingerie or anything like that but sometimes you'd surprise her with a little something every now and then.

You have about 2 hours until you have to be at the restaurant so you decide to take your time to get ready. Your hair is wet from the shower as you wash your face and throw it up in a towel to do your makeup. The sun is setting and you finish getting ready. Your hair is curled and your makeup is done. You grab the dress from the bed and put it on.

As you walk out the door to meet your girlfriend, you decide to call her to let her know you leaving, but to your surprise, she doesn't answer. You call her again but no answer. At this point, you're just ready to get to the date so you can see her.

You arrive at the restaurant and walk up to the host stand. Before you can even speak you see Ellie walking up to you. She's dressed in a large white button-up and some dress pants. You've never really seen her dressed up like this before. She walks up to you and hands you a rose before taking your hand.

"Hi baby" She smiles at you. "You look very pretty" She pushes a strand of hair behind your ear.

"This is so stupid els" You laugh and squeeze her hand as you walk to your table.

The table is set with candles and roses and there are already two glasses of champagne waiting for you. The restaurant is quiet with other people enjoying their evening. Soft music is playing as you take a seat. Ellie reserved a table in an isolated part of the restaurant, in front of two large windows that look out to a view of the city.

"Ellie, why did you do all this?" You look up at her as you take a sip of your drink.

"Because you deserve a day. You've refused to let me do anything special for you on valentines day every year and this year I wanted to do something nice." She smiles at you from across the table.

As the evening goes on you two laugh and talk while enjoying a nice dinner. The minutes pass fast and the restaurant slowly empties. Eventually, you two get up to head back to your apartment. The air is cold as you step outside waiting for a taxi. You look up at Ellie's face which is now lit up by the city lights.

"I really enjoyed this. thank you Ellie." You give her a sappy smile

She wraps her arm around your waist "Just wait until we get back home" She looks at you with a grin smeared across her face.

The ride home is quiet. It's late and you rest your head on Ellie's shoulder. Her hand on your thigh, waiting to get back to the apartment.

----------------------------------------------------------

Ellie holds your hand as you walk into your apartment, rubbing her thumb on the back of your hand. Walking into your room, you sigh out of tiredness as you fall onto your bed. The cool sheets feel good on your skin.

"Stay here baby, I'll be right back" Ellie grabs something and walks out of the room.

You get undressed as you wait and throw on one of Ellie's oversized tees. The room is dark but the lights of the city gently add a soft lighting to the small room. As you lay down on your back right as Ellie walks into the room with a lighter. She places a candle on each nightstand and lights them, setting the mood. She's dressed in nothing but her boxers and a white tank top.

"Lay on your back" Ellie walks over and places kisses up your neck, leading to your lips.

As she meets your mouth, her hands hold your face and she presses her lips against yours. Fingers crawling up your shirt, reaching your chest. She grabs your breast and draws circles around your nipple.

"Ellie-" You softly moan into the kiss.

"Shhhh, baby I got you." She lets her tongue slip into your mouth as her hands help lift up your shirt.

She adjusts her body so her legs are now straddling your thighs. Her lips move back from yours, down to your neck. Your arms slide under her tank as you pull her closer to your body. She gently sucks on your neck, working her way down to your chest.

Her tongue reaches your nipples, slowly circling around them. Her hands move down your waist, finding your lace underwear. A finger slips past the waistband, pressing against your wet folds as she sucks your boob. You grab Ellie's shirt as you throw your head back. She moves her tongue to your other nipples while she starts to pull off your underwear, throwing it across the room. She kisses down your waist, meeting your clit.

"mmph- els" You squirm at her touch, looking down at her taking you in.

Her eyes meet yours while her tongue slides down your folds. Her fingers slowly slipping into you. Your fingers run through her hair, pulling as she pleasures you. She moans as she begins to suck at your clit. The vibrations against your skin cause a loud whimper to escape your lips. Her fingers slipping deeper into you as she moves faster.

You can feel the knot in your stomach start to unfold. She holds your waist down with her hand as her fingers cause your body to squirm under her body. Suddenly, she releases her mouth from your throbbing clit and removes her fingers from the inside of you.

"Ellie! please, I'm so close, don't stop" You're practically begging at this point, squeezing your thighs together.

"I know" She lifts from your waist and sits up. "Turn over for me"

You listen and lay on your stomach. She grabs your waist pulling it up as she slips a pillow under you. Her fingers are cold against your bare skin, causing shivers to run down your body. She pulls her strap out of her boxers, keeping them on. You feel yourself becoming antsy as your fingers find your clit.

"Be patient for me pretty girl" She grabs your wrist and pulls it away, pinning it above your head.

Her fingers slip between your folds, preparing you for her length. You grasp the pillow above you as she slowly pushes into you. She finds your waist, pulling your body towards her. Her pace fastens, causing your body to slam against her. Your arms shake from holding up your upper body. You fall into the bed as she fucks you.

"mmm- you feel so good, doing so well for me baby" She moans as her strap slams into you.

Your body now taking in the full length. Her fingers find your clit again, rubbing circles around it. The familiar warmth returns to your stomach. A tear falls from your eyes as you whimper her name"

"Fuck Ellie, s'close, I'm gonna cum-" Your voice is muted by the pillow your face is smashed into.

She doesn't stop. You can feel her hitting all the right spots. Your body is trembling beneath her. She grunts and cusses under her breath, you know she's close too. Finally, you feel yourself become undone as she thrusts harder into you.

"Almost there baby" She pants, not slowing down. Her movements are becoming sloppy as she tries to cum.

"Fuck!" She reaches her climax shortly after you, causing her to fall onto the bed next to you.

You turn over and lay on your back. She's trying to catch her breath as her arm falls across her face. She looks over and smiles at you, placing a kiss on your swollen lips. She pulls your body close to you, wrapping her arms around your bare skin. The kiss is sloppy but passionate. Both of you breathing heavily between the kisses trying to catch your breath.

After a few minutes resting in the comfort of each other, she gets up to get a damp cloth. She lifts your waist, cleaning you up before getting up to blow out the candles. She lays back down next to you and pulls the covers over your bodies. You wrap your legs around her as you head rests on her chest.

"Happy valentines day my girl, I love you" She places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"I love you too els" You close your eyes and feel yourself falling asleep in the arms of your girlfriend.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams tlou #tlou2 #the last of us #tlou #wlw #ellie smut #smut #lesbian #valentines day #ellie x reader

[thirteenis-myluckynumber]

Wedding vows

Man, choosing a gif is harder than I thought *cries*

Pairing: Nie Huaisang x f!reader

Word Count: 4856 words

Warnings/tags: fluff, just love all around, Chinese wedding ensues, suggestive content, smut, this one is nsfw minors dni

Notes: (C/N)-your clan's name, (Y/N)-your name

A/N: This is the 2nd part of Proposal. You can read this is as a stand-alone, but some context might be lost. I can't believe its done, have a feast, dears!

Special thanks to this post, for providing information about Chinese weddings. I did take some liberties, but at least I did it knowingly.

It's been almost a month now that you were living in the Unclean Realm. Your brother agreed, begrudgingly at first, to let you go before the wedding because he saw how painful it was for you to stay away from your soon-to-be husband. In the end, he saw it was the right decision to let you get used to your new home beforehand.

Just one week before the wedding basically everything was turned upside down in the Unclean Realm. Both you and Nie Huaisang took part in the planning as there were no close relative of his who could take on the task. He, of course, had an exceptionally good eye for decoration, and while he was busy with clan leader's stuff, you coordinated the disciples and servants when needed.

You quickly got used to the almost colourless picture of the Unclean Realm and appreciated the calmly elegant black-grey-silver colours of your new home. The vivid red and gold decorations of the upcoming wedding, hinted with a little bit of silver, almost felt weirdly out of place now. As you entered the main hall to check on the servants' progress before retiring for the night, you stopped in awe at the entrance. Almost everything was in place now, only some adjustments were needed here and there. A huge smile spread across your face, as you couldn't help but imagine yourself entering the hall on Huaisang's arm, dressed in beautiful red and every guest's attention on you.

Speaking of Huaisang, you wondered what he was doing, as you haven't seen him all day. You decided to check on him before returning to your chambers. As you passed down the hallways, the servants were busy lighting some lanterns for the night. The sky already started to darken, and they politely greeted you as you passed them by. The guards also haven't paid attention to you, you were allowed to move freely, and they quickly got used to your presence after you moved in.

When you approached Huaisang's door, you knocked lightly to let him know of your presence but didn't actually wait for him to open the door himself. With guards present, his door was unlocked so you figured he hasn't retired for the night yet. You entered and instantly noticed his sitting form by the desk. He seemed to be completely engrossed in something, which you assumed was official documents. A light, calming incense could be smelled in the air of the warmly lit room. As you stepped closer, you noticed the not-so-neatly scattered papers on the table and some even around it on the ground. You also noticed a brush and ink, probably for writing letters. His usual fan also sat discarded on the edge of the table. Yes, he was definitely working all day, you concluded.

You stepped next to the table on his left side and shot a quick glance at the paper in front of him. It was clearly clan business. He only became aware of your presence in that moment, and he looked up at you with a tired but happy smile playing on the edge of his lips.

"Miss (C/N), it's so good to see you! Only you can make this miserable day better!"

"Oh, Huaisang, I'm sorry you had to work all day! I stopped by the main hall, and everything is almost completely ready now. You should check it out tomorrow. What's all this anyway?" You asked gesturing at the scattered papers all around his desk.

"You wouldn't believe it! Almost all of this are letters offering support, inquiring about accommodation, or asking for details about the banquet. There are also official papers about finances and clan politics. And I have to sort these out before the wedding! Why does everybody want a piece of me?"

"Hmm, I think," you pretended to think hard while you sat down next to him on the ground, "you are quite a catch."

He let out a disbelieving sound, but you continued, counting on your fingers.

"You are wealthy, the leader of one of the four big clans, a clever and intelligent man, you are a very talented artist, you have great taste in clothing, you do what you need to but don't meddle in other's business, you are funny and kind. Oh, and have I mentioned exceptionally handsome?"

"Ahh, stop, stop, stop, stop!" He protested, nose scrunched up and hands held out in front of his chest.

You let out a short laugh because of his adorably childish attitude and turned your body so you were sitting face to face now. You reached out and grabbed his hands. So warm and soft, they fit perfectly into yours.

"I'm serious," you said looking into his eyes.

And he believed you. His face straightened out, his eyes searching yours, lips parted only a tiny bit in awe, but you couldn't help but notice. He also noticed where you were looking, his eyes wandering down to your lips in turn. When your eyes met again, you could see the question in his eyes and you leaned closer to him, a barely noticeable movement. But that's all he needed. The next moment he leaned in, and his lips were on yours, hands moving around your waist to pull you closer. You gasped, one hand touching his chest for purchase, the other reaching up to cradle his cheek. His kisses were slow and sensual.

"I don't think you should praise me this much. I might become overly confident," he whispered into your lips between kisses.

"Well, surely we don't need another peacock."

You let go of each other's lips and burst out laughing, your foreheads touching the whole time.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

The day of the wedding arrived quickly. As you were getting ready with help of your maids, you listened to the commotion outside as guests continued to arrive. Everyone had to settle in their temporary rooms and led to the main hall where the wedding will take place. Once everyone was here the ceremony started while food and drinks were being prepared by the servants for the following banquet.

You were quite nervous because basically the whole cultivation world will witness your union. At least the other three big clans, the Lanling Jin, the Gusu Lan and the Yunmeng Jiang were obviously invited, and some of the smaller clans too thanks to your side. Jiang Wanyin was Huaisang's old friend, while Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao were Nie Mingjue's sworn brothers so you were sure they will be attending. Lan Wangji apparently made up some excuse, so he didn't need to come and if you were honest, you liked it this way. His achievements certainly deserved respect, but he was famously uninterested in, even disgusted by celebrations which involved lively music and drinking.

Putting on the wedding dress was the quickest part of the whole procedure as braiding your hair in the Nie style and preparing your make-up took a few hours. Finally, your head was covered with a red veil to complete the look. Soon you were being led out to meet your husband the entrance of the main hall. Nervousness rose in your chest, but it subsided somewhat when you arrived. You were signaled to stop, and you felt warm hands gently wrapping around yours.

"Huaisang?" Your words came out as barely a whisper because somehow you felt like the wedding atmosphere shouldn't be bothered by talking.

"I'm here," he answered in kind and squeezed your hand a little as reassurance before wrapping a soft red silk ribbon around your wrist. It was to ensure you won't trip as you could barely see anything through your veil, and it also symbolised your union.

You only noticed the soft music and light chatter in the background when you started to walk up the few stairs leading to the main hall. But the hushed voices completely stopped when you stepped into the hall. Thankfully you knew how the room was prepared, so you remembered that you only had to take a few steps before you reached the pillows placed on the ground for you to perform your bows. Huaisang also made sure to make measured movements and helped you the best he could in signalling when you needed to stop walking and kneel down.

Being led by Huaisang while you almost couldn't see anything felt strangely romantic to you, like he was the only person in the whole world you could trust and to whom you could give complete control over yourself. This vulnerability felt frightening at first as you could feel every guest's eyes on your back, like realizing a dangerous predator is stalking you in the forest. But soon your senses focused completely on Huaisang. You could almost feel his warmth radiating through the cloth that bound your hands together.

You bowed in sync, first to pay respect to Heaven and Earth, second to Huaisang's parents, and finally to each other. You stood up and felt your legs shaking from relief and happiness. You were married! You still couldn't believe it. Soon you heard the commotion as your guests stood up and drank a cup of liquor to your marriage. One by one they approached you to congratulate you and wish you health and happiness. Huaisang held your hand in his and you could feel his palm was sweaty from nerves, but you didn't mind. You thanked the guests for their well-wishes and also said farewell. You recognized some of the voices and you were glad that your husband will be taken care of by people like Lan Xichen and Jiang Wanyin during the banquet.

The few hours you spent alone, sitting in silence on your now shared bed in Nie Huaisang's room felt like a relief after the ceremony. So far everything went well, you completed the wedding without any mishaps, and you hoped that everything goes smoothly at the banquet too. Time flew by surprisingly quickly while you meditated. Your focus was disturbed by muffled voices coming through the closed door. When it slid open, you could hear the finishing sentences of the two people's conversation outside.

"Don't be nervous. Everything will be fine," you recognized the soft and calm voice of Jin Guangyao.

"Thank you, San-ge," replied Huaisang, and closed the door behind him as he stepped into the room.

He didn't move for a few seconds and the anticipation in you grew stronger and stronger. You were patient the whole day, but now you just wanted to finally see him, see him in his wedding robes. He walked closer, ever so slow, hesitation palpable. In the dim light of the candles, you could see his silhouette when he stepped in front of you. You felt it when he finally grabbed your veil at the sides and with a quick motion, he lifted it up, letting it float down to the floor.

You were not one of those old traditional couples in the sense that you already knew each other before the wedding. Yet now, when both of you finally looked at each other, it felt like seeing a heavenly being for the first time. Wide eyes, lips parted you marvelled at each other's beauty. He has seen you in your dress during the ceremony, but your face adorned with tasteful make-up and your hair decorated with jewelry, braided specially to signify you were now the wife of a Nie took his breath away. You, on the other hand, had to take in his full visage. His red robes, with gold and black woven in, were of a thinner material than his usual attire, so it perfectly accentuated his snatched waist and wide shoulders. The guan in his hair were gold and it had a bolder style than his usual silver ones, just like the braids. When your gaze stopped at his face your breath hitched in your throat because of the open love and desire you saw in his eyes.

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he finally spoke, his voice low.

"I...," you had to clear your throat after not speaking for such a long time, "we should drink the alcohol," you managed to say, standing up and walking to the table nervously.

You poured the fine liquor into two small cups and handed one to Huaisang. He took it gently and waited for you with his arm held out. You joined him, holding your own cup, and you intertwined your arms as you drank the alcohol with one gulp. When you finished you looked at each other, arms still linked and smiled, feeling the tension of the day leaving your body. You almost knocked your heads together as you wanted to put the cups down back on the table at the same time.

"We should sit down," he suggested, but the suggestion sounded like a tentative question.

You nodded your head. He must be tired after entertaining your guests, you thought. Luckily, he was not drunk so his friends must have kept a close eye on him. He could also direct some of his qi to get rid of the alcohol, but that also exhausted him after a while. You knew what was expected of you on your wedding night, but you didn't want to pressure him if he felt too tired after such a long day.

So, you sat on the edge of your bed in silence for a few moments before you felt his hand reaching out for yours. You flicked your gaze over where your hand rested on the bed between your bodies. His hand was not much bigger than yours but still big enough to cradle yours, and you always marveled at how soft and warm they felt. You noticed how his other hand were playing with the jade pendant hanging from his belt and you moved your free hand to gently lay on his thigh. You intended to soothe his nerves, but the moment your hand connected with his leg, you felt his muscles twitch. You looked up into his eyes and what you saw made your breath quicken. His dark brown eyes looked almost completely black now as his pupils widened. For a split second his gaze moved down to your mouth, and you did the same in return. You noticed how his lips relaxed, opening only the slightest amount and you found yourself wanting to kiss him so bad. When your gazes met again, he leaned towards you slowly, still holding your gaze, gauging your reaction.

And your lips connected.

It felt like fireworks exploded between you. You felt how his hand pushed yours into the mattress as he leaned in closer, his body weight shifting to his arm between you. His other arm sneaked around your waist to pull you closer, as he always did when you were kissing, only this time the kiss was different. It was much more forceful, brave, and charged with desire.

When you let go of each other's lips for a moment, both of you were breathing hard.

"I love you so much. You are the best thing in my life," he breathed into your lips, and you swore you saw his eyes shining.

"I love you too, I love you-," you said in return, the last syllable muffled as he captured your lips again.

Sitting with your feet on the ground while your body turned towards him started to feel uncomfortable, so you moved to sit on his lap, not letting go of his lips or hand for a second. When you settled your weight on his thighs, he moved his hands to your cheeks at first, then moved them down to your neck, tracing your collar bones with his fingers. You grabbed onto his robes and let go of his lips with a sigh. His hands moved away immediately, thinking his touch were unwelcome.

"Don't stop. It... felt good," you said nervously and smiled shyly at him.

This time he moved his hands to your waist, where the sash held your garments together.

"May I?" He asked seriously, his voice trembling a little.

You gulped and nodded your head rapidly. His touch was featherlight, you almost couldn't feel it when he reached for the opening of your sash and carefully removed it. The material of your robe loosened, and he moved to remove your outer garment entirely. You realized you were sitting on the skirt, so you needed to stand back up if you wanted to remove the whole thing.

"I need to get up to get this out of the way," you said to him when he freed your arms and only your undershirt remained on the upper half of your body.

You quickly realized that part of his nervousness came from the fact that he didn't want to scare you away, so you warned him of your intentions beforehand. He nodded and reluctantly let go of you as you stood up from his lap.

The room was warm, but you still felt a slight chill as your outer robe descended to the floor. The coldness faded when you looked into Huaisang's fiery gaze and the air suddenly felt impossibly hot as he stepped closer to you. His hands moved to your shoulders, gently caressing them and slowly moving towards your chest. Your breath quickened, his light touches searing hot through your thin undergarment. A shiver ran through your whole body as his hands gently cradled your soft breasts and he sucked in a sharp breath when your nipples hardened under his thumbs.

"Please, Huaisang, I want to feel your touch on my skin!" You felt a little embarrassed about how whiny your voice sounded, but you wanted to show him how much you wanted his touch.

He leaned in to kiss at your jawline and neck while his hands deftly removed your undergarments. As your clothes pooled around your ankles, he took a step back to admire your naked body. You suddenly felt self-conscious, and your hands instinctively moved to cover yourself up. Huaisang noticed it and took your hands into his to stop you.

"Don't be shy. I still can't believe I've managed to get myself such a beautiful and intelligent wife" he said, looking into your eyes the whole time.

You wanted to say something witty and clever, but the moment felt too sincere for it, so instead you answered:

"Don't forget that I wanted to be yours."

He stepped closer to you again, his mouth finding yours. He kissed you like a drowning man, never wanting to let go of you. His hands roamed over every part of your body he could reach and you wanted to finally touch his skin too. Your hands tugged on the lapels of his dress, signalling you wanted it off. He broke the kiss when he felt a more insistent tug.

"Take it off!" You managed to breath out and he chuckled at your insistence.

"You want more of me, huh?" He asked with that cocky self-assurance he only used with his closest friends back at Cloud Recesses.

You crossed your arms across your chest with a defiant look and you must have looked funny standing like that while being stark naked. But it worked, and Huaisang looked at you as if he were saying "Fine, fine," and reached for his belt. The strength gradually left your arms as you watched him undress, and by the time he only had his white underrobe on, your arms were hanging by your side.

When he moved to remove it too, you couldn't just stand there anymore and stepped in front of him, grabbing onto his hands. Your sudden movement startled him a little as his focus were completely on his clothes. You reached for the cloth that bound his underrobe together and undid it slowly, looking into his eyes the whole time. He moved his hands out of the way and followed the path of yours with his eyes as you reached up to his shoulders, pushing the light fabric down.

And he stood there only in a pair of white trousers, chest bare, skin like pristine jade, accentuated by his dark hair cascading down his back. You couldn't help but marvel at his beauty. As a healer you saw many men and women in various stages of undress, mostly injured soldiers. At those times your interest was not particularly focused on their looks, but you remembered how strong and muscular they were. Now, as you were looking at your husband's bare upper body, you realised that you never really found them attractive. Compared to them Huaisang had a soft body, but his chest was nicely toned and you could see the lean muscles of his arms.

You reached up and traced his collar bones with your fingers then moved downwards and stopped on his chest. You could feel how strong and fast his heart was beating under your right palm. His skin was so soft, smooth and warm, you couldn't help but tenderly caress the shape of his pecs, noticing how his small nipples stood at attention from your touch, much like yours before. You slowly slid your hands down to his stomach, following the made-up path of the cute little moles that were scattered everywhere on his skin. You felt the muscles tensing under the skin of his stomach as you went even lower, stopping where a soft patch of dark hair disappeared under the band of his underpants. As you ran your fingers over his happy trail, loving how the soft hairs tickled your fingertips, you heard Huaisang biting back a whiny moan. Your eyes moved back to his face and oh, what you saw took your breath away. He bit down on his lower lip, eyebrows furrowed, as he watched with half-lidded eyes where your hands were going.

You moved your hands out of your line of sight and your gaze lowered past the waist of his pants. He was already hard enough to form a nicely visible tent in his pants. You realised there was no turning back if you took the next step and it scared you a little, but also made you incredibly excited. You wanted it and you wanted him, but it still surprised you how boldly you reached down and caressed him lightly through his pants. This time his moan was deeper, more guttural, and he almost literally fell on you as he rested his forehead on your shoulder. Your knowledge was mostly medical about how the male body worked, so the late-night conversations with your already married friends came in handy. You felt proud about how much your touch affected Huaisang. Your next caress was a little firmer and you felt him twitch under your palm. Gathering his every strength, Huaisang stepped back and pulled you towards the bed.

"(Y/N), please, it's been too long, and I fear I won't last long if you keep this up. I want all of you tonight. Can I show you how much?"

"Okay," your voice was barely a whisper, and you let yourself being laid down on the bed.

Huaisang quickly got rid of his remaining garments and carefully removed the intricate guan, now only a black silk ribbon keeping his hair together. As he climbed on top of you, you instinctively opened your legs to make room for him as he rested his weight on his elbows next to your shoulders. This way he was the only thing you could see, but there was nothing else you wished to see at this moment. A large amount of his long hair fell over his shoulders and caressed your cheeks. He was so beautiful as a soft smile played on his lips and you reached up to kiss him. It quickly turned heated and Huaisang soon left your lips in order to kiss all over your face and neck. Then he moved lower and grabbed one of your breasts with his hand while he occupied his mouth with sucking on the other nipple. Your sighs of pleasure encouraged him to move his hand lower while his mouth kept playing with your nipples.

At first your hips shied away from his touch but when his deft fingers found the most pleasurable spot between your legs you couldn't bite back a moan. His mouth left your breasts as he moved to carefully watch your reaction while his other hand kept your legs in place.

"You are doing amazing, you are so wet already," he praised and slowly pushed his index finger inside you.

"Huaisang...," you moaned his name as you watched his finger disappear inside you.

This was something you already tried yourself on lonely nights but the fact that it was his finger made the experience completely different and so much better. He moved his finger slowly in and out of you and when you felt like you couldn't take it anymore, he removed his hand. You whined at the sudden loss of contact, but he moved back on top of you and kissed the complaints off of your lips.

"Are you ready?" He asked, and you were never this sure about anything in your life.

"Yes, I want you, please."

He reached down and guided his cock to your entrance, rubbing it over your wetness, using your combined arousal as a lubricant. Even this little delay and the feeling of his hot member so close to where you wanted it made you squirm. He was looking into your eyes the whole time and you saw how he had to fight he urge to close them when he started to finally push inside you. He was slow and careful, and when he was fully seated inside both of you stopped to catch your breaths. The stretch was unfamiliar but not unpleasant. You moaned when you felt his cock twitching and your insides tightened around him in response. Now it was his turn to let out a shaky breath as he let his forehead rest against yours. He simply couldn't hold his composure anymore, so he slowly started to pull out and push back again. At first you felt a tiny prick of pain, but it soon faded and was replaced by pure pleasure. And he was quick to react to your signs, so when you reached up and grabbed onto his hair to find support, he knew he found that special spot. Soon you were a moaning mess, being so close to your release and he was no different, his skin shining from sweat and strands of his hair sticking to his cheeks and neck.

"a-Sang!" You repeated over and over, and finally hearing you calling him that, it was enough to push him through the edge.

He sealed your lips in a desperate kiss, one of his hands reaching down to rub your clit, his other arm shaking from the effort of keeping his body from fully collapsing on top of you. The feeling of his desperate thrusts, his hand on your most sensitive spot and his shaky moans calling your name finally triggered your orgasm. You felt your inner walls clenching impossibly tight around him and you desperately clawed at his back, not really caring at that moment if you were leaving marks on his skin.

He collapsed on top you, the last of his strength leaving his body as both of you tried to catch your breath. Your vision slowly cleared, and the ringing disappeared from your eyes as you subconsciously caressed his head and shoulders. He burrowed his head into the crook of your neck, and you swore you could hear him practically purring like a cat.

The air in the room slowly started to dry off the sweat from your bodies and it soon made you both shiver. Huaisang rolled off of you with a series of unintelligible whines and went to fetch a cloth to clean yourselves up. He wetted it with the prepared warm water and carefully cleaned your most sensitive spots. He couldn't help but leave some lazy kisses around your hips and thighs in the process and the feeling of his gentle touches were almost enough to lull you into sleep.

He quickly cleaned himself up too and climbed back into the bed next to you, pulling the luxurious covers over your naked bodies. You moved to lay your head on his chest, positioning your ear over his heart, its steady beating made you feel completely safe. He sneaked his arms around you, pulling you even closer. You looked up at him and you smiled at how his hair was a complete mess now, yet he looked so handsome in the faint glow of the candlelight, his eyes shining with so much love you thought your chest will explode because of it.

"Thank you, tonight was incredible," you said as you drew small patterns on his chest with your fingers.

You swore you could see his ears redden even in the faint light, and you planted a soft kiss on his pecs before you fully relaxed in his arms.

"I love you a-(Y/N), get some sleep now," you heard him say before you fell into a blissful sleep.

THE END

ps. I have a half written morning-after snippet, let me know if you are interested and I'll finish it.

#the untamed x reader #mdzs x reader #untamed x reader #nie huaisang x reader #nhs x reader #the untamed fanfic #mdzs fanfiction #untamed fanfiction #the untamed #mdzs #nie huaisang #mdzs nhs #x reader #reader insert #fanfic #writing #writers on tumblr #fan fiction #fan fic writing

[tat3sbbg]

Reader meeting Tate for the first time

Tate Langdon x soft fem! reader

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: Slight NSFW? Kissing, if that counts?

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You had this old, crusty, dusty, musty Ouija board that you found in your basement when you moved in. You never thought you would actually use it, though, until now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The basement stairs creaked under your feet as you walked down the stairs. Today was the day. You would finally use that old Ouija board in the basement. You weren't scared of it, in fact, you were infatuated. Much like your parents were with this creepy house.

Your parents were always huge horror fans and you were the timid, shy, soft girl who wasn't scared of horror, either. Much to everyone's surprise. Your room was pink, and most of everything you wore was pastels. Although, your music taste was mixed. Your two favorite artists were Lana Del Rey and Nirvana, quite a contrast. While we're on the topic of music, both your parents listened to 80's and 90's everything. You'd grown a tolerance for it.

A big confusion for you used to be the decision to keep it, or get rid of it. All until you noticed something coming into your room every night, or someone. You'd moved in 2 months ago, and it had been happening the entire time. You had to find out who or what this thing was. The first thought in your mind just happened to be to use that Ouija board.

Here you were, sitting down on the floor of your room, with the Ouija board. You breathed deep, and settled your hands on the planchette, and got going.

"Hello, I'm Y/N. I live here, in this room." You exclaimed, nervous as hell.

You watched as the planchette moved to the word, "Hello." At least they were polite.

"What's your name? Are you a boy or girl?" You bombarded the strange what you assumed was a ghost with questions.

You watched as the planchette moved yet again. I-M T-A-T-E, I-M A B-O-Y. You wrote each letter down, keeping one hand on the planchette. I'm Tate, I'm a boy. A boy? You had talked to many, but were ashamed to admit you were still a virgin (they get wet sooo easily). You had to come up with more, weirder questions. Just for funsies.

"How big is your dick? And will you ever actually come out and say hi to me? I wanna see you." You whined, blushing at your questions.

As if he was there all along, the boy appeared right in front of you, sitting across with his hands on his lap.

"Hi, I'm Tate." He said.

He was actually cute. You were taken aback, the music playing in the back seeming silent.

"Are you alright? What are you listening to? I used to live in this room, y'know." He rambled, standing up and walking to your phone to see what was on.

"U-Um, L-Lana Del Rey, yeah I'm fine. Just kind of surprised that you're not a scary ghost." You admitted.

Tate smiled. He looked around your room, picking things up and observing them. But his eyes kept wandering to you. For a minute, his eyes stayed on you, travelling up and down. He was observing you.

"You're really pretty. And...I don't know, cute? Everything in here is pastel. What other music do you listen to?" He asked, rambling once more.

You were taken aback. He acted like he'd know you forever. And you guessed he had. He'd probably been watching you for weeks now. You stood up with him, sitting on your bed and staring at him. It was your turn to study him. Blonde curls, deep brown eyes, tight black t-shirt and gray sweatpants. GRAY SWEATPANTS. You didn't dare look at his crotch. He cocked his head, obviously waiting for an answer to his previous questions.

"I also listen to Nirvana? I listen to others, but I rarely listen to anything other that Lana and Nirvana." You noticed he widened his eyes then smiled.

"You don't look like the type of girl to listen to Nirvana. You definitely look like a Lana Del Rey girl. I love Nirvana." He reciprocated a love for Nirvana. Wow.

You smiled. You really didn't look like the type of girl to listen to Nirvana, but you did. He was right about you. He stared for 20 seconds before either of you said anything.

"Can I touch you?" You blurted. God, why did you say that?

You immediately apologized and covered your face in your sweater. You heard him laugh and watched as he combed his hair back with his hands.

"Sure." He agreed.

You reached your hand out, putting a hand on his. You rubbed it, trying to grasp that he was really here. To your surprise, he touched you, as well. Only he touched your shoulder, running down your body until your hips. It went on like that for a few minutes until he apologized and pulled back.

"It's okay! I actually enjoyed it." You beamed.

You finally stood up, realizing he was taller than you by like a foot.

"Midget."

Your jaw dropped as he laughed at your surprise.

"I'm not that short!" You yelled.

He finally stopped laughing and patted your head. You stared up at him, and stared down at you. You sat there in silence before you finally let your eyes wander to his crotch. He immediately noticed.

"What are you lookin' at, doll?" He purred, tilting your chin up to meet his face.

You tensed up. He let go immediately, noticing your body tense.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He mumbled, looking you in the eyes.

"No, it's fine," You quietly said, "Can I have a hug? If that's okay!" You frantically said.

You were desperate to hug the boy since you saw him. Despite being a ghost, he looked so warm and sweet. You wanted to touch him more, in a lot more ways than one. You hoped he'd kiss you, touch you, anything. Honestly, you wanted him so badly.

He nodded and opened his arms, and you embraced his torso. He embraced you, his arms larger than you thought they would be around you. He was strangely warm. You rested your head on his chest, and you felt a hand in your hair and a kiss planted on your head. You had to say something to him.

"Is it weird that I love you? Like, as more than a friend already? Your just so pretty in every way." You sputtered.

Tate's breath hitched.

"No, as long as it's not weird that I feel the same way." He smiled.

You felt a wave of relief. You thought he would think you were weird. Much to your surprise, he didn't at all. You reached a hand up to stroke his hair, pulling his hand over to the bed to sit down. You flicked the TV on, and cuddled close to him as you watched.

He suddenly kissed you gently.

"So, are we like, dating?" You asked.

"Yeah, I guess we are." He beamed once more.

You were going to like this new boy.

#tate langdon x reader #american horror story #evan peters #tate langdon #fluff #tate ahs #murder house #ahs murder house #ahs

[britt-kageryuu]

Leo and Donnie are on the the beach set/green screen, both in swin trunks, Hawaiian shirts, crocs, and masks, color coded. Shelldon and River are zooming around with a couple of toys. They're doing the promised FanMail opening stream.

There's also a virtual sign reading "Roomba at work, might hit the camera later❤"

The brothers have been opening fanmail for about a half hour, though they set Raph and Mikey specific mail to the side, and agreed to not read letters unless it was in a package, because the stream would take forever. They're using a custom AR system to overlay their models on top of themselves.

"Gotta love the fact you guys are guessing our heights based off our models, but you don't need to send us clothes." Leo says while holding up a shirt that read 'Turtley Gay' with a cartoony turtle with a gay pride colored shell, that was a couple sizes to small against the model. "It's still very cute. Maybe I'll cut out the graphic and attach it to a different top?"

"Well the fans at least picked up on my love of oversized clothes, but I don't know about the fabric just yet." Donnie has a hoodie spred out that while purple in color also had the Nonbinary pride colors across the front. It was a bit huge compared to Donnies model.

They put the clothes aside, and grab a couple more boxes. The roomba goes passed with River sitting on top. Shelldon pops up behind a package with a fairly big box on his back.

"Hey Dee, can you open this one? Please?" Shelldon asked while hovering close to Donnie.

"Sigh, sure Shelldon." Donnie puts down the package he was about to open, and grabs to box from Shelldons back. "Let's see, oh it's for you and River. What could this be?" He opens the box, and pulls out a roughly 10 inch at it's highest point figure of Shelldon flying around River who's trying to smack him with her fan. "Truffle Mac and Cheese! Look at this!! This is amazing, who made this?"

He examines the box, and pulled out some papers, "So, it's from The Crafty SeaCreature, they've been a fan since just about the beginning, and wanted to send us a gift."

"Why do our fans send us this stuff? I'm pretty sure this could go for at least $50 at some places. Also someone sent me some old memorabilia from Jupiter Jim! I know this stuff can be expensive, especially this!" Leo holds up a in box Original Jupiter Jim Space Blaster. He gets up to show the camera, before going off camera to place it on a shelf nearby.

Right as he comes back the camera starts to move slowly before falling over, and the livestream is cut off, leaving a picture of Shelldon and River trying to free Donnie from a bunch of tangled wires, that read Experiencing Technical Difficulties Please Stand By!

The Forgotten Chat is cheering for the Roomba causing Chaos during the stream, with some pointing out the virtual sign saying it might hit the camera later, but didn't think it would mess up the stream.

--------------

Masterpost

#VTurtles! #vtuber au #rottmnt au #tmnt au #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt leo #rise donatello #rise donnie #rise leonardo #rise leo #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #rottmnt fanfiction #tmnt fanfiction

[simply-ozul]

yippe!! my first post yaaay :D

dont know wut to think of it so ill let you be the judge lemme know how you like it!

enjoy <3

Robin Buckley x Nancy Wheeler || just a fluffy oneshot ft. flustered Robin and adoring Nancy

Just a Lovely Thing Like You is Fine

Nancy was never one for huge gifts or gestures; she usually preferred spending private quality time with her loved ones at home, on a picnic, or even a walk through the park. It’s the little things, y’know? At least, for her it is. Seeing as she spent the majority of her teen years hunting and being hunted by interdimensional monsters and sociopathic murderers with unexplainable mind abilities.

However, it was a little different with one Robin Buckley. Nancy knew the girl was dirt poor, to put it simply. She couldn’t afford fancy gifts, or shiny jewelry, but Nancy didn’t really want any of that anyway. Despite this, Robin still insisted on proudly presenting things to her girlfriend.

She’d write her little letters with mixed phrases from different languages she’s learned over the years, giving little translations on the back of the page with little colored heart doodles all over the paper. She’d make little crafts that Nancy absolutely adored, and she knew Robin poured all her love and appreciation into the little lop-sided clay swan holding a little stick that was poorly shaped into a shotgun she’d given Nancy for her birthday.

Nancy placed it carefully on her bathroom sink so she’d be able to look at it during her morning and evening routine, smiling the entire time.

However, Nancy’s favorite thing Robin gave her was something so simple and cliche. Flowers. Nancy wanted to laugh at herself in disbelief sometimes. Flowers? Really Nancy?

But then again, Nancy could argue that the little adorable twist Robin put to it made Nancy’s heart swell, squeeze and melt all at once. She’d always show up to Nancy’s door, hands and knees covered in dirt while it had somehow smeared everywhere else on her body. She’ll never forget the first time Robin gave her flowers.

As soon as Nancy pulls open the door, her eyes widen in surprise. Robin. Sweet, sweet Robin. The shaggy-haired girl held a clutch of beautifully bright wildflowers in her hands, the stems uneven and slightly bent or broken in some areas. The taller raised the fist of color, eyes big and puppy-like as she looks at Nancy with a ducked head. The brunette can see the light dust a pink glowing beneath her freckles—as well as noticing the smear of dirt across her cheekbone.

“Um… I got you flowers.” She mumbles shyly, before straightening in a rush to continue. “And I know you’re not really a huge fan of gifts or whatever, but… I was walking home after dog-sitting and I noticed them in a ditch, and they were so colorful and felt like a perfect gift so I couldn’t not pick them, y’know? I tried to pick them as carefully as I could but it was really hard to hold and pick flowers at the same time, and I basically ran to your house to give them to you, and some of the petals fell off and I just,” Robin pauses, forcing herself to quit her babbling. Nancy can only blink, mouth slightly agape as she listens. “They’re pretty. They reminded me of you.” She finishes with a shrug, shuffling on her feet.

After an awkward amount of silence, Robin backtracks. “I get it, you probably think it’s stupid, right? I mean, wildflowers? They’re practically weeds and store-bought ones are so much prettier. Even then, flowers are such a dumb tradition anyway—“

“You picked them for me?” 

Robin chokes to a stop, head jerking a bit in surprise.

“I- yeah? Did you want ones from the store instead…?” She trails off with a squeak. The flowers in her hand sink as Robin deflates.

Nancy can’t help but smile, huffing through her nose. She finally pushes through the doorway, stepping in front of her girlfriend. She looks at her through her lashes. Her hand reaches up to brush against the tight hold Robin has on the flowers, and her fist loosens. Nancy gently pries the flowers out of the tense girl’s grasp, bringing them up to her face, partially to smell them as well as hide her face.

“They’re beautiful, Robin.” Nancy whispers. She can’t stop the giggle escaping her throat when Robin dramatically deflates in relief.

“Holy shit. I was worried you’d hate them or something. I spent like thirty minutes picking out the prettiest ones and now there’s dirt under my nails and it sucks big time, but it’s so worth it now that I know for sure you like them. I mean, you do, right?”

Nancy laughs, bringing her unoccupied hand up to caress Robin’s cheek. The fumbling girl pauses, breath hitching, unable to help herself as she leans into the touch. Pushing herself onto her toes, Nancy leans forward to press a kiss to the corner of Robin’s mouth.

“Thank you, Robbie. I love them.” Robin freezes, eyes wide and sparkling. Nancy’s brows furrow in concern; had Robin stopped breathing? She’s about to check when the lanky girl clears her throat and nods, rubbing her sweaty palms against her jeans while she looks away. Nancy bites her lip at the red that blossoms up from Robin’s neck to across her cheeks and nose, trying her hardest to keep her grin from growing. Her cheeks hurt, she doesn’t care.

“Good, good. That’s good.” Robin stutters. She looks shyly to Nancy once again, opening and closing her mouth for a moment. Nancy raises a perfect eyebrow questioningly. Finally, she squeaks out,

“Could you do that again?” Nancy laughs.

#ronance #fluffy ronance #ahafdhahsgdgshsgsgagsehehehehehe- #i had so much fun writing this #i think this is my first actual ronance fic-

[savventeen]

you glow pink in the night

pairing: non-idol!the8 x fem!reader rating: G wc: 1.7k prompt: none, i just wanted to post something for minghao's bday <3 summary: you and minghao are in a long-distance relationship, and minghao returns to his apartment after meeting you in person for the first time. he finds a surprise you left for him in his luggage warnings: none tags: fluff, just pure romantic fluff, long-distance relationship, Yearning™️, talks about kissing, they are so in love it's insane, love letters a/n: i wanted to break my angst streak and post something soft for minghao day. also, while it's not explicitly stated, i wrote this as the reader being a transwoman! if that bothers you in any way, please do not interact, thank you 💜 (this was originally a sapphic minjoon threadfic that i'd posted on twitter) a/n pt. 2: there are two theme songs for this fic — can't help falling in love cover by ingrid michaelson and pink in the night by mitski

The apartment is quiet as Minghao enters.

First, there are the soft thumps of his sneakers when he toes them off in the entryway. Then, the jingle of keys as he drops them onto the countertop, the acrylic frog keychain you had gifted him clinking softly against the tile, followed by the low whirring of wheels across the wood floor as he drags his suitcase behind him to the bedroom.

The springs squeak as he flops face down onto his mattress with an exhausted grunt, and then — silence.

He's never been a huge fan of silence. Don't get him wrong, he loves the quiet — soft moments in nature or normally bustling parks.

But silence, pure silence, the kind that feels like it compounds in on itself until it feels like you're completely ensnared in it — it always leaves a little too much room for unwanted thoughts to flutter to the forefront of his consciousness, swirling and uncatchable like dust motes in the afternoon sunlight.

This particular silence echoes a little louder than usual, though. The absence is felt a little more keenly — the yearning leaning a little bit more towards unbearable than not.

He really should have expected this — a crash, one that would inevitably come after such an incredible high.

And oh, what a high it had been.

He had saved and managed and planned and saved some more until finally, finally, the stars had aligned, and he'd been able to take time off of work and school and book a flight to New York — to where the other half of his heart lives.

To you, his long-distance girlfriend of two years and the woman he planned to marry someday.

For an entire week, you'd gotten to live in each other’s pockets, gotten to never be more than an arm’s length away instead of thousands of miles. Gotten to be face-to-face, heart-to-heart, (lips-to-lips), instead of screen-to-screen.

It had been heaven.

And like all things, the good and the bad and everything in between, it had come to an end.

So here he lay, a fourteen-hour flight and an hour-and-a-half bus ride later, in a space devoid of the warmth of soft skin and high-pitched giggles that he'd just had the privilege of getting to hold in the palms of his hands.

His surroundings had so swiftly gone from hallowed to hollow, and he releases a shaky sigh into his pillow.

He doesn't want to sink any further into that line of thinking, so he rolls over and pulls his phone out of the pocket of his oversized hoodie, turning on his playlist full of swooping orchestral music and blasting it at full volume.

He tosses it beside him and goes to get up and start unpacking before realizing he almost forgot to do something important.

Snatching his phone back up, he holds it up above him as he's lying on the bed and turns on the front-facing camera.

Before he can overthink how tired he looks, hair falling all over the place and bags under his puffy eyes, he snaps a quick photo and sends it to you. He follows it up with a few quick texts letting you know he made it home.

to: y/n ❤️✨🌻

made it back to my place in one piece (but just a little emptier) (my heart is still with you, my love)

The melancholic yearning starts to creep up his spine once more, and before the vines can root themselves too deeply, he flings himself up from the bedspread and starts making a mental checklist of all the things he needs to get done before he goes to sleep.

First on the list: unpack his suitcase.

He looks to where his mint green hardshell luggage sits innocently at the end of the bed and stares down one of the anthropomorphic bonsai stickers that cover it.

Pointing a faux-threatening finger at it, he states, "You're up, bubs."

He expects unpacking to take no longer than ten minutes — all he needs to do is fling his clothes into the dirty laundry pile in the corner of his room, tuck his accessories away in their respective places on the dresser and in the bathroom, and then carefully put the few books he took with him back on the bookshelf.

Easy peasy. Except, when he kneels on the floor and opens the suitcase, he's not sure how much time he loses just staring at the sight before him.

Instead of the chaotic pile he'd carelessly tossed in the night before his flight back, everything he'd brought with him sits folded and rolled neatly, perfectly in place.

What catches the breath in his lungs and causes his heart to tremble, though, is the large envelope that sits atop everything, addressed to him in an elegant, curling script and sealed with a kiss the exact shade of coral he knows is your favorite.

"Oh, y/n..."

And he could probably blame the way his eyes are already watering with tears on the exhaustion from travel, but he knows that's only part of it.

The real reason is that even now, after two years of loving and being loved by you, he still isn't used to how you're able to fill his heart more and more each day.

With a slightly trembling hand, he picks up the envelope and brings it up to his nose, catching a whiff of vanilla and something sugary sweet — your perfume — before clutching it to his chest for a moment.

"Jagi, you're too precious, please," he pleads to the air, not sure what to do with the affection swelling up inside his chest like a helium balloon.

For a few moments, he lets himself bask in the glow of the feeling blossoming between his ribs — one that's always blossoming when it comes to you, over and over with new and more beautiful blooms.

He takes a deep breath in and releases it, slow.

Minghao tries to open the envelope as carefully as he can, but he has to stop and run to the kitchen for a pair of scissors so he can open it without tearing anything.

But soon enough, he's back in front of his suitcase with a beautifully hand-written letter in his grasp, and he dives head-over-heels into the elegant script.

My dearest Minghao, My love, my hope, my heart — this last week has been one of the happiest of my entire life. Never before have I felt so wholly myself, and never have I ever felt so wholly loved. Minghao, my beautiful moon, I feel so blessed that I got to bask in your light — that I got to see those wonderful little craters you call dimples up close and personal, that I got to press kiss after kiss onto them in the hopes that one day I might come close to filling them. Hopefully, someday soon, I can try again. Ever since I got to know you, you've been such an inspiration to me, in so many wonderful ways. One of the best (and sometimes worst) things I've learned from you is how to be present in each moment — how to let myself feel every joy and every pain, and to hold on to the things that matter. Not by force, but by faith — faith that the good things will keep coming back, and that they are worth putting into things other than just our memories. And so that's what I tried to do this last wonderful, unforgettable week: capture the memories in something besides my full-to-bursting heart. And because all I have will always be yours, these little pieces of me — of us — are yours as well. I hope they bring a little bit of relief to what I know will be a hard separation for both of us. Just know that someday we will get to hold each other again, and the next time I have you in my arms, I'm never letting go. I love you, Xu Minghao. More than any words could ever express. But since words are all I have, I will never cease to give them to you. I love you. As surely as the waves kiss the shore, I love you, I love you, I love you. Yours, always and forever, y/n

It takes Minghao a while to get to the end of the letter, only because he has to keep stopping to wipe the tears from his eyes.

And then he has to put off unpacking for another fifteen minutes because his heart is just so full — the blooms in his chest threatening to burst out past his ribcage, growing and growing and making him feel like you captured the sun and tucked it away just behind his sternum.

And the feeling only grows as he starts to unpack and finds dozens of slips of paper tucked into and between all his belongings — scrap paper and napkins and even the backs of a few receipts all falling victim to your elegant hand.

I can't believe you're here. We held hands for the first time today, and I can't stop thinking about how your fingers tangled so perfectly with mine.

You smile at me, and I feel like my heart has melted and pooled in the center of my chest.

The barista made a teddy bear in your latte, and it made you so happy I wanted to lasso the universe if only to give you the stars.

Minghao, light of my life, you are so brilliant. Buy my god, you can be stupid. (I love it though. And you. So much. Don't ever change.)

I watched you bite your lip, and I have never been so desperate to kiss someone. To be kissed by someone. To be kissed by you. Kiss me, Minghao. Kiss me, and don't ever stop kissing me. Kiss me until the world has ended and we've returned to stardust. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.

And like a river flows, surely to the sea, Minghao knows with every fiber of his being, that some things — the moon, the stars, you and him, together — some things are meant to be.

#minghao x reader #minghao x you #minghao x y/n #the8 x reader #the8 x you #minghao fluff #the8 fluff #minghao fanfic #the8 fanfic #seventeenweeklyarticle #seventeen writing #seventeen fanfic #svt writing #svt fanfic #happy minghao day! #hope u guys like this one #savv writes #savv fics

[notbynary]

(basic ID in alt text, full descriptions below the cut)

my favorites of things i’ve drawn this year! (all rqg bc that’s basically all i drew for the entire year). i was a lot more inspired to draw this year, im really happy with my progress! also thank you so much to everyone who’s left nice comments and notes on these, love you all 💛

2: Digital fan art of the scene from Rusty Quill Gaming episode 51 of Hamid and the fire elemental. The fire elemental, a huge humanoid figure made entirely of flames, is crouching inside a large red crystal and looking down at Hamid. Hamid is standing next to the crystal looking up at the elemental, with one hand resting against the surface of the crystal. The elemental has one hand raised to match Hamid’s. Hamid is tiny in comparison, smaller than the elemental’s hand.

3: Digital fan art of Skraak from Rusty Quill Gaming. Skraak is a bright red kobold with slightly darker spots, wearing a metal breastplate and spikes on his tail. They are gripping a syringe spear with both hands and glaring, and a speech bubble by their head says “Move.” The background is a dark cave tunnel with faint greenish light.

4: Digital fan art of the Garden of Yerlik from Rusty Quill Gaming. It is a wood full of bright blue flowering trees, in a bowl-shaped valley between mountains drawn in shades of purple. In the center of the wood is a patch of blighted, brownish dead trees. The sky is early sunset, in yellow and orange.

4: Digital fan art of the Garden of Yerlik from Rusty Quill Gaming. It is a wood full of bright blue flowering trees, in a bowl-shaped valley between mountains drawn in shades of purple. In the center of the wood is a patch of blighted, brownish dead trees. The sky is early sunset, in yellow and orange.

5: Digital fan art of Skraak from Rusty Quill Gaming. Skraak is a red kobold, wearing a dark gray cloak and two belts. They are in a tree, holding onto a tree branch in one hand and holding a dagger in the other. He is looking around over his shoulder. It is night, and the sky in the background is dark blue.

6: Digital fan art of a blue veins plant skeleton monster from Rusty Quill Gaming. It is a skeleton with blue vines and bright glowing blue flowers growing out of its torso and head and wrapping around its limbs. In one hand it is holding a small rat with tiny blue plants starting to grow out of it. More plants are growing in small patches around its feet. The background is a dark hallway with more patches of blue plants.

7: Digital fan art of Shoin’s underwater base from Rusty Quill Gaming. The base is a glass dome set on the seabed, supported by metal struts. A glass tube with a walkway spirals around it, ending in a door at the base of the dome. Inside the dome is a round table, a small study area, and a large pipe organ, which glows slightly green.

8: Digital fan art of Grizzop and Vesseek from Rusty Quill Gaming. Grizzop is holding a bow ready but not aimed, and Vesseek is holding a longsword. Grizzop is a dark grey skinned goblin with red eyes. He is wearing a breastplate with an Artemis symbol, a dark green tunic, and brown pants. He has a quiver of arrows on his back. Vesseek is a greenish skinned goblin with orange eyes. They are wearing a sleeveless grey shirt and dark pants. Grizzop is smiling slightly, and Vesseek is grinning.

9: Digital fan art of Zolf Smith from Rusty Quill Gaming. His hands are shown in front of a stormy ocean. In his left hand he is holding a driftwood dolphin on a cord. In his right hand, he is holding a knife, which he is using to cut the cord. The knife has a small letter “S” carved into the handle.

10: Digital fan art of Sasha, Grizzop and Hamid from Rusty Quill Gaming, in Newton’s office. In the foreground, they are walking across the floorboards, and are minuscule compared to the scale of the room. The floorboards are a flat, mostly featureless plain, with a sunbeam making a square of light. In the distance is an apparently massive table leg, carved in a spiral pattern. The group is walking towards the table leg, with Sasha and Grizzop talking while Hamid walks ahead of them.

End IDs]

#rusty quill gaming #rqg #rqg kobolds #skraak #hamid saleh haroun al tahan #grizzop drik acht amsterdam #vesseek #zolf smith #sasha racket #i speak #my scribbles

[spockandawe]

Hello,I absolutely adore your work! I have been binding books for a few years now (mostly scanlated manga that hasn't been licensed,and some pdf books that are too expensive for me to afford or too rare to buy). I came across your work a few months ago,and absolutely relish your posts. I was wondering if I could ask for some advice?

Do you print your books at home,or use a printing service? Because they're such massive amounts of pages if I want to do a full series...once I printed a 24 volume series and my printer reached its page limit,and I had to get it serviced to reset it😭(I know a code can be bought and used,if it happens again I intend to do that but I'd like to avoid if possible). If you use a service can you recommend any,or any general advice for finding one?

And if you print them at home, could you give some advice on how to print Quattro or snaller books? I just use Acrobat (older versions) to print in booklet setting to get a half page sized book,I would really appreciate some knowledge on how to go smaller (and save some paper)

It's okay if you would rather not answer though,or if you want to take a while,I completely understand if that's the case!

Oh my gosh, you can absolutely ask anything you want, this is my favorite hobby to enable people for! (I LOVE that you're doing this for scanlations, also! My manga hyperfixation is mostly dormant right now, but once my brain locked on to archival work for fan translations of cnovels, I immediately started anxiously circling this idea like a dog whining because it can't fit all the toys in its mouth at once, so I'm delighted to hear someone has this interest!)

I print my books at home. I've considered using a printing service for some special cases, like large paper my machine can't handle, but it was ultimately expensive enough, and my personal needs were off enough (I do high-volume, fast-turnaround work) that I've never actually followed through. I'm fortunate that a few years before I picked up this hobby, I got a color laser duplex printer (canon mf cdw644, iirc) as a gift, and it's filled all my needs beautifully, so I never had to look for another way to tackle the issue.

It is still very expensive to make as many books as I do, I've spent unconscionable amounts of money just on toner, but the math shakes out pretty clearly in my favor. Now, an issue that has occurred to me for more graphic prints would be that if a comic page has a lot of hard blacks, I'm not sure how much it would take before it was cost-effective to go elsewhere. I'm not sure if a point like that does exist, but it's a question I'd be interested in knowing an answer to!

(Laser printers tend to be more expensive up front, but cheaper to use in the long term. I do know one person who owns an ink TANK printer and sings its praises, but those can be harder to find for home usage)

One thing that I'm not sure would apply to your printer is that for big jobs, I *think* my computer and printer run out of memory and it messes up not just the current print job, but future ones I queue up after it, and switching the printer off only makes it worse. My pages start looping back to the beginning of the print job and starting over and the only fix is to reset my print spooler in my system services directory and ruthlessly cancel jobs until my print queue stays empty. I can get around that by printing smaller sets of pages at a time (1-50, then 51-100, etc), so something like that might also help coax your printer into cooperating!

And ahhhh, yes, small books! I'm a HUGE fan, I rarely print anything larger than quarto these days. I use a free tool developed by other fan binders, which I'll link right here

https://momijizukamori.github.io/bookbinder-js/

It has a lot of settings that I haven't explored in too much depth, but I use it to impose almost everything I make. There are layouts for the straightforward divide-in-half imposition (half-letter, quarto, octavo, etc), but towards the bottom there are wacky layouts, like six sheets per side of paper. There might be resources somewhere in renegadepublishing that go into more depth, but like I said, my experimentation has been relatively bland XD In general, I recommend double checking the files you get from it for whether you want to flip on the long or the short edge, but other than that, I've found the tool very intuitive and easy to use!

I hope that helps!!! I'm always delighted to help people out with any of this stuff :D

#spock replies #crafts #bookbinding

[pankowperfection]

A Christmas to Remember

Summary: proposal season always brings you down, until its your turn

Warnings: none other than extreme cuteness

Unlike many others he had dated, you had known Rudy since middle school. You had seen him go from a shy, lanky kid into a handsome, talented man and you had somehow loved him through it all, whether you were willing to admit it or not. After dating off and on through high school you had drifted apart; you moving away to go to college and Rudy starting his acting career. The timing just never seemed to work out no matter how much you both wanted it to.

You couldn’t remember exactly how you had come back into each other’s lives, all you knew was that as soon as it happened you were all in. You quickly dove back into your old routines, falling back into a comfortable relationship that quickly flourished. Moving in together, adopting pets, everything seemed to come easily. Except for a proposal. Each year you were together you got your hopes up that it would finally be time to get engaged, but each time you were disappointed. 

His hesitancy to commit further was frustrating. After all, nothing would really change other than a stronger commitment to each other. He had even mentioned multiple times about how he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, unable to imagine each day without you by his side. The holidays always brought along further disappointment, every day seeing more and more women get engaged. You even debated deleting your social media until after the season had passed, tired of feeling like your moment would never come. 

On your way to your hometown to visit with family he takes an unexpected turn. “Rudy - where are you going babe? You were supposed to keep going straight back there.” He smiles, resting his hand on your thigh as he drives back a two lane country road. “Relax sweetheart. I have a surprise that you’re going to love.” Your heart kicks up a beat, anxiety wracking your system at the thought of what it could be. After all, you weren’t a huge fan of surprises.

Your opinion changes immediately when you pull up to the beginning of a huge Christmas Lights Festival. The soft glow of each display makes the snow on the ground sparkle, drawing your eyes to take in the beauty in front of you. “Oh my gosh. It's beautiful!” you exclaim as you exit his car. He takes your hand, leading you down a winding path that leads through the different displays. Each part of the festival is themed: Toy Land, Under the Sea, Space, Dinosaurs, each set of lights somehow more impressive than the last.

He can’t help but smile at you, your face lighting up like a kid’s on Christmas morning. Christmas lights were always one of your favorite parts of the season, bringing back those warm fuzzy feelings you associate with holiday magic. You stop to take in the favorite piece you have crossed so far, synchronized snowflakes in all different colors twinkling across the archways. Rudy pulls out his phone to snap a few candid photos of the wonder on your face, wanting to capture the moment. “You look beautiful in the snow,” he murmurs, pulling you in for a sweet kiss before taking your hand again and leading you around the bend in the sidewalk. 

You could never have been prepared for the next display. In large letters, the words “Will you marry me?” are spelled out in flashing red and green lights that dance to the beat of the music playing. You turn around searching for Rudy, thinking surely this must be some kind of joke. Instead you find him down on one knee, unshed tears in his eyes as he holds up a little black box with a beautiful diamond ring inside. You tremble as you walk towards him, tears already sliding down your cheeks, truly not believing that this is really happening. “Y/n, I love you so much. With all of my heart. You have always been there for me for all of my successes and failures. I can’t imagine spending my life without you by my side. Princess, will you marry me?” 

Your legs can no longer hold you up, dropping to your knees in front of him as he reaches to wipe the tears from your face. “Yes Rudy. Yes!” He slides the ring onto your finger and time stops. The lights fade into the background as you take in the sheer euphoria of this moment. He folds you into his arms, peppering kisses all over your face before cupping your cheeks softly, sealing the moment with a kiss on your lips. Minutes seem to pass before you break apart, his megawatt smile mirroring yours as he helps you to your feet. This surprise couldn’t have been more perfect and you feel like the luckiest girl in the world. 

You spend the rest of the evening in pure bliss, sipping hot chocolate as you sit beside a bonfire snuggled against Rudy’s side. “I can’t wait to tell everyone. They’re gonna be so happy.” He smiles, hugging you tightly as he basks in the warmth from your smile. “I can’t wait for you to be my wife. We better hire a wedding planner so I don’t have to wait too long - Mrs. Pankow.” Your stomach flips at the sound of him calling you by his last name, having dreamt of the opportunity for years. “That has a nice ring to it,” you whisper, pulling him in by the front of his coat for another kiss. “Yes fiancé, it sure does.” You pull out your phone, snapping a picture of you sitting in his lap with the ring easily visible within the frame. You post it with the caption “Future Mrs. Pankow”.

@adventuresinobx @starkeyobx @paradisehamilton @ailee-celeste @pankhoeforlife @outerbankspov @houseofperfecttaste @drewbooooo @maybankslover @maybanks-luver @blueicequeen19 @toystory2wasjustokay @I-always-come-back-xoxo @onmykneesforrafe @penny4yourthoughts @maddie-routledge @rosetintednorth

#rudy pankow fanfiction #rudy pankow x reader #rudy pankow imagine #rudy pankow #rudy x y/n #rudy x reader

[warsamongthestars]

A LOVE LETTER

I think after a certain point, one must search their feelings (You know this to be true), look deep inside themselves, face their Shadow (I AM THE SHADOW THE TRUE SELF), and come to one’s personal understanding of themselves and their limits.

And when the limit has been reached.

So let’s talk Bad Batch. I’m going to be mean to this show. And I guarantee, this is going to feel like whiplash. So get yer big gulps and your happy meals, we’re in for a ride.

I will not lie. Watching the Bad Bach is exhausting to me. It is painful to go through each episode, and this feeling of painful exhaustion and impatience didn’t go away.

Well if its so painful, why are you still watching?

Because I love the boys. The Bad Batch was the first set of characters I saw across the room, and by the rules of narrative causality, it was love at first sight.

Hunter, the cool and calmed headed leader with the unique abilities.

Wrecker, loud and emotionally honest, a joy in bombastics (literally) who’s first reaction is to always defend his brothers.

Tech, precise professional and intelligent, always on the curve to learn and understand, and then be able to perform afterwards.

Crosshair, perceptive, witty and sharp tongued, who hits the heart of the situation whether anyone wants it or not.

And finally, Echo, oh, Echo, who was with us since the beginning, brought back from the brink to continue the journey. Clever, and snarky Echo, strongest soul of them all.

The idea that they were getting a series was amazing, because we would have adventures with the Bad Batch, and we’d get to experience and learn and see so much.

By all accounts, it shouldn’t hurt.

But isn’t that exactly what we got?

Not... really.

When I said The Bad Batch, I meant, all of them. What did Episode 1 do? Remove Crosshair from the equation and make him a bad guy.

Broken Promise 1: Adventures with the Whole Team.

But he was a Jerk, so it was obvious he’d be the evil guy. Didn’t you hear what he said about Echo?

Uh huh. Its by this point of this metaphorical questioning that I point out that I’m a Homestuck fan, I read the whole thing (and or had it read to me--thank you Let’s Reads--its a huge fucking webcomic, what do we expect?)

Homestuck is explicitly a deconstruction and reconstruction of Characters and Environments and Stories and Plots and everything in between. Its the Good Spice.

With that as the example, you honestly think I haven’t heard worse from more beloved characters? Frankly if you’re put off by that, you would have never survived Karkat Vantas, the most beloved and harmless character in the whole of Homestuck.

Let’s get back on topic.

But we still got the Adventures of the Bad Batch!

We got Johnny Quest in Star Wars, pal.

I ain’t saying that’s a bad thing, Johnny Quest was a very remembered show (parodied in many series, with the the Venture Bros being outright and explicit about it--that’s how loved it was)

But Kid Sidekick who’s super special awesome being protecc’d by the quote “good” members of the super special awesome team, is basically how you jump the shark in most series.

Now Omega isn’t that bad, she’s better written that most (for one thing, she’s an actual kid that brings in trouble actual kids would bring in combat and survival situations like hers). But the role she fills is not a new role, its in fact a role that historically been hated since Television started. She’s not the new Robin to Batman here.

Because there is no Batman.

What does Batman have to do with the Bad Batch?

He doesn’t, but the story archetype highlights some problems with the BBs. First and foremost, in order to have Robin, you have to Establish Batman.

And the Bad Batch, are not established.

Lemme explain why.

Batman’s main motivation is that his parents were murdered in an alleyway in front of him as a child, and he grew up with the conviction that no other child should experience that again. You see his aesthetic, you see his home, how he grows, and then you get Robin.

Its a basic premise that boarders on cliche now, by every show, book, and most DnD sessions.

But it does its job, it establishes a character with history and motivations, and leaves room for how that character reached the point where they could do something for their goals, and what they do whilst accomplishing their goal. Their goal may never be fullfilled, but that’s the point, it makes stories and we might just learn something about the reality along the way, or at worse, we get entertained, or at better, we get inspired to make our stories and maybe we nail the lessons the originals didn’t, or we simply inspire or entertain others.

Now then...

Showing up for a pinpoint mission on a nowhere planet to save someone who’s survival was contrived at best because main character said so, is not an introduction to a character. Its the introduction to a series, like how every 70s-80s shows used to do in shows that were popular.

So its understandable that the Clone Wars show doesn’t do that, because TCWs is not about the Bad Batch.

... But the Bad Batch series stills fails.

But it doesn’t have to be perfect.

The act of not being perfect is exactly what we want, actually.

Perfection means universal, for example, we as living things all require subsistence, that is a universal thing. Just as death is inevitable, thus universal. This is the state of “perfection”, because they are infallible and unchangeable aspects and they are free of flaw and defect in their function.

Perfection is already achieved. Now we’re simply finding ways to be interestingly and fallibly imperfect that impacts us enough to find our own “perfection”. (For individuals know their fallibility, and finding where our foundation (the center of perfection in all things--that is, the soul) lies is our journey--that is the act of achieving perfection, and it will always be individual and as individual beings, it will incomprehensible to anyone else, this is the act of synchronicity).

But now that I’ve broken existence, let’s get back to Star Wars before reality crashes and I have to go back to another save point. (Damn it Todd Howard).

And I love the characters. I’m going to be mean.

How the hell does the Bad Batch series fail?

Its their series and it should be about them, and its not.

Of course its about them!

Being the center piece of the show does not mean the show is about you. Just as being the Player Character of the Video Game doesn’t mean the game is about you at all, its often about the characters you encounter or the missions you go on.

What makes them tick and talk, what’s their history, why do they do things?

None of this is established. The closest we got is “We’re soldiers this is what we do” and “Because we’re better” or “Because we’re different”

And those are not motivations. Those are excuses.

All that this has established is that the Bad Batch started their history the moment they were introduced to the Clone Wars BB Arc.

And that means that this is Plot-Driven, and it was never about the characters, we just have center pieces with a few quirks but ultimately anyone could’ve filled in their shoes.

We could replace them with the Millennium Falcon, and have the Original Trilogy Crew perform these feats, and frankly that’d be more interesting and considerably less painful. We could even replace Crosshair’s role with a Stormtrooper (The one super special awesome show-writer OC that becomes the Main Characters’ best friend and companion and gets lots of screen time), and that would be more interesting and less painful.

... And that hypothetical gives pretty concrete evidence that the Bad Batch Series is not about the Bad Batch. Character-center episodes can be too easily replaced or character moments are too rushed through or insignificant.

Its With the Bad Batch, not About the Bad Batch.

Broken Promise 2: Its about the Bad Batch.

The Bad Batch Characters are all cliche action hero tropes anyway.

You’re not wrong. And the thing about not being wrong here, is that we know what the good shit looks like.

Hunter is the worst one here, and the best example. He’s basically every 80s action hero in one, and y’know, not being very original is fine.

There’s only three things in human history that can truly fall under the definition of Original, and that’s “Space-Travel, Nuclear Power, and the Internet”, and that’s because these things are less than century old in comparison to Humanity’s thousands of years.

So Hunter being a collection of cliches is not a bad thing. You can spin that really well, actually. The problem is, they don’t. He’s “The Leader” who “looks like a Biker” and “Does things because the Plot is actually about his Kid”.

If I wanted that specifically, I’d play Silent Hill again, because Harry Mason has all those traits, and he’s a lot more interesting.

The Environment and Circumstance and the Challenges he faces, show’s Harry’s character.

Its already long established what Hunter is, what Hunter is is not in question.

But Omega is the main character in comparison to Hunter.

Hunter is meant to be an Action Hero, but he has none of the pitfalls the 80s action hero does. He’s not challenged about being a Soldier, he’s not challenged (On-Screen) about how he leads the Batch, he is simply vaguely challenged when encountering Omega.

Hunter is challenged for his Role in the Plot, as the Leader who Looks like a Biker and Does Things Because the Plot is Actually About his Kid. He’s not challenged on screen enough for that character to make a significant difference to what is presented.

I think I talked about having stuff on screen before.

I can name two characters that do exactly what Hunter does, to show that you can, in fact, write a character who is a series of cliches anyway into a memorable character inspite of that.

Solid Snake, from the Metal Gear Solid series.

And

Geralt of Rivia, from the Witcher Series.

Or the ultimate example...

The Boss, from Metal Gear Solid 3.

They go through similar or the same challenges, they have an connection with parenthood and with being a solider; two have been main characters, while one is a mentor figure, and they roughly follow the same ideas found in Star Wars (because Star Wars, by this point, has highly influenced all media across many cultures).

Can you fucking imagine what it would’ve been like if we got Solid Fucking Snake in Star Wars? With all of Metal Gear Solid’s philosophy stuffs? Imagine having a philosophical soldier that deconstructs and reconstructs the ideas of the Jedi, the greater galaxy and the Force.

While we obviously can’t just copy-paste characters here (even though that’s exactly what they did, given that Hunter is Billy from Predator, and the leader from the A-Team) The interpretation of the character by a writer makes a new character, because our interpretation will always differ from the personal interpretation of the original creator.

I don’t think Hunter was intended to mimic these characters at all, but repeated patterns say that he’s following their footsteps... but unlike the examples above, he’s not quite making the same impact. Or any.

... This isn’t broken promise level though. There wasn’t anything that established that Hunter should be Solid Fucking Snake of Rivia in Star Wars.

But the inspirations could’ve spiced him up a bit. He is like a sugar sandwich, cmissing a lot of ingredients.

You just pointed out that there are better things out there, why not go to them instead?

I am alive and I will make it everybody’s problem.

And I am doing this because I love the characters.

Because when you love something, you go those extra miles. Hell, you make the whole damn road yours.

I’m very confused.

So I’ll sum up what I got so far, given that this is very long already. The series is not about the Bad Batch, its a Star Wars series that’s With the Bad Batch bits attached.

There’s already one flat character, and he’s the leader (not really a good thing in a Five Man Band situation).

The series has already broken two promises to its name. Its not about the Bad Batch, and we’re not going on adventures with the Full Bad Batch.

But it is the Bad Batch series, and we’re clearly following their adventures. Its about the Bad Batch.

A series about a character follows a simple idea of breaking that character down to the audience. It doesn’t have to literally break the character to do this, though it can.

What does that involve? It involves History, it involves Communication on Screen, Aesthetics and Personality.

It has Personality and Aesthetics. Most of the Bad Batch have very strong, distinct personalities and aesthetics, and imply a lot of history, and that’s what catches attention. That’s good.

The flaw is the failure of the rest.

So you might wonder, what the ever loving fuck am I talking about?

Well I’ve already gone on a thing about communication-on-screen. Its not enough to hold a series about characters by implication alone. This is not an ARG to be solved, this is a story being honestly told.

There is no Communication-on-Screen to tell the audience that shit is going down on any deep level. The BBs do not talk to each other.

That leads to the next flaw.

Their lack of history.

The sum of Star Wars lore regarding the clones is that they were commissioned after a genetic plate (the prime) to be created en mass to serve as a disposable Army for the Republic in 10 years. They are genetically modified to withstand the baseline requirements for space and planetary war, and those who exceed that baseline become Commanders and Commandos. Those that met certain criteria fill ranks such as Medics, Divers, Engineers, Hackers, ecctra.

This is already a good base of history here. You can do a lot with this.

The Bad Batch differ in that they were purposely mutated away from being the genetic baseline, what was modified is shone in the skillset or abilities of each Batchmember.

Which is fine, that’s how you get the Audience thinking.

But the show goes no further.

Do they honestly have to?

If you want a series about them, yes.

Some topics involved with the above, yes, you don’t want to get into, or you simply want to leave it in the air to be pieced together in environments that can handle those topics.

For example, there’s no good way to bring up that Clones are meant to be the “Disposable Generations”. Its there, Star Wars doesn’t ignore it, but it doesn’t talk about it. Because the Clone Wars series and the Bad Batch are meant to be Kid Shows, and topics of disregarding vast majority of people through discrimination to the point where people lose their lives to the whims the small-mindedly powerful, is a heavy topic. Worse if you’re literally creating / breeding humans to be disregarded and disposed of, speaks of a horrific mentality of eugenics.

And that’s heavy, and its horror, and its moral insanity. And If it wasn’t Star Wars, that right there would take up the entire series, and it sure as hell wouldn't be for kids.

Because its the kind of thing that you don’t sit down and accept.

But this is Star Wars, and the only way to accept it, is to not talk about it.

So what can we talk about? The characters who lived in those conditions, and how.

Back to the Bad Batch.

So, the Bad Batch has no History?

If they did, then every argument with Crosshair about his chip would’ve worked.

And this was even seen in Star Wars proper too.

In the final episode, the Finale, of The Clone Wars. Ahsoka Tano is attacked by those who know she left the Jedi Order, and that she isn’t a “Jedi”, and that Order 66 should only be about Jedi.

But that’s either not true, which would involve the clones hunting everybody done and that’s no good, or its based on perception.

It alters Perception based on the individual’s point of view.

Just because Ahsoka isn’t a Jedi, doesn’t mean the Clones stopped viewing her as a Jedi. They respect her as a Jedi, and that’s why they hunt her, even knowing that she isn’t technically affiliated with the Jedi anymore and is probably just GAR command now.

If the Bad Batch had history, there would’ve been more. They’re the outsiders who have banded together and work flawlessly together. You don’t get that without having some deep history, understanding, and loyalty to each other.

It would, by all established accounts, been simple to argue Crosshair back into the Batch, because clearly his chip didn’t work as intended. (Its not like Wrecker’s, which just blocked Wrecker out entirely. When Cross was with his Batch, his personality was clear, it was only when he is removed that he loses to the chip).

But they had no history. The implications of them being that team, failed entirely. This is where the flaws set in as gorged holes in their character and their series.

And in a series about them, character history would’ve been the simplest, easiest focus. In fact, that’s often the core component in a series about a specific person or set of persons. You don’t make a show, for example, about Abraham Lincoln being a Vampire Hunter, without making it very much about Abraham Lincoln’s history.

And that’s the bit. No real communication outside of dramatics, or the kid being the main plot figure. No history to rely on when stones fall. The characters were dressed up, implied a whole lot of stuff, and when push came to shove, it faltered, and it fails.

Echo has history!

Echo does, yes.

And they never touch it.

We never see him get confronted with his PTSD. They did once, in episode 1, then never again.

We never see closure between him and the memory of Fives, or confront his past about Domino Squad. Or the Techno Union.

The one time he’s finally with Rex, and not a single thing is talked about that isn’t the Plot at hand.

Echo is one of our Audience surrogates, specifically for Clones. He’s gone through so much, he has every right and need to talk about it for both himself as a character, and for the Audience...

... And then he doesn’t.

And the limit is reached.

You’ve gone on this tangent regarding finding a some personal limit, but this hasn’t had any limits at all!

I should probably get to the point about that, huh?

My limit?

Is that they killed Tech.

Limit broke.

What, but you’ve already made posts and comments about how he’s not dead!

I have, and I’d like to think so for all the historic evidence entailed, he isn’t dead.

... But I have to face the reality of the situation.

The reality is, is that the Bad Batch is a 3-Season series that’s not likely to be renewed, though if the characters survive, they are likely to make an appearance in other shows or media (and probably die in them instead).

That season 3 isn’t until next year, and since no evidence was shown that Tech is explicitably alive, then we have to keep the assumption that Tech’s Death means he actually died.

Just like with Echo, in Season 3 of Clone Wars. And Echo was dead for Years, before Season 7 came out. And Season 7 came out after a renewal, after three years. By all intents and purposes, Echo was dead. He was dead for Years.

Just because there’s the potential to write in why a character survived impossibility, doesn’t mean they’ll do it or that they’ll do it right. And while we can have hope, life is going to occur between now and Season 3.

Fives didn’t survive, but Rex and Hunter did, and I don’t like those odds.

And we were already working on a broken-promise situation;

Crosshair missing and regulated to be a bad guy with a redemption arc for a situation that wasn’t his fault to start with, with a trust far too easily broken than what is established.

To Hunter who is underdeveloped, underutilized, and even his own comparisons live up better than he does, and who now only revolves around the rest of the Batch.

To Echo who is unexplored inpsite of everything.

To Wrecker, who is often disregarded.

And now they’ve killed Tech.

When it comes to Limits, its the build of many things, and then there’s the moment that breaks the back of the packmule.

Its not the first strike that breaks the boulder, but the 99 strikes before it.

I love these characters. I hate what was done to them. It was painful trying to go through each episode in order to know them, when they’re not all there.

And that’s the ultimate problem in this, isn’t it?

They’re not all there.

... And they may never will be.

I still keep up with the Bad Batch, and I’ll still love Star Wars inspite of its problems. KOTOR and the Original Trilogy are in my heart and always will be. Clone Wars brought life back to me in a difficult time, and I fell hard and fast for the Bad Batch boys.

And the fanfic, and the small niches of fandom, are brilliant, Absolutely brilliant. Even from day one, folks were already making elements that showed what potential could be explored with the Bad Batch and the Clones, and that is beautiful. Wonderful and lovely. I encourage those to keep going.

But those who have made their Bad Batches, those are ultimately their Bad Batches, and not mine. For they are not my interpretations.

And I’m tired, and my experiences and expectations make things a weight on my back, and my back broke. That’s what happens when you’re presented with something you love, and those who presented it ultimately hold the fate of things that you love in their hands, and then you get the letter about how your love isn’t coming home from the war.

This canon is the Bad Batch’s legacy. What we have, is what we got, and my nightmare and fears of my loves being left with less have been fulfilled by canon.

I can’t say it let me down, because my expectations are my own, and no one is beholden to fulfill those expectations (especially since I myself don’t always know my own stuff).

I love these characters. I even identify heavily with a few (but to get into that would be diving too deep into my personal history, and I don’t talk about that, if I can help it).

I am of the audience, but I am not the intended audience, unfortunately. The series through its writing and actions so far, doesn’t really like me back, no matter how much I can say I love the characters.

This... is a love letter to love loss. I love the characters, but its a doomed promise.

This is mine, its not intended to be the reader’s perspective persay, that’s the awkward notion of love letters. They tend to personal. But I may as well lay my grief out plain. Who knows? Maybe someone might get it, maybe not.

But it might just make the difference, for a future untold.

I could be wrong. Maybe the future is brighter. Never know.

#a love letter #star wars #the bad batch #star wars hunter #star wars crosshair #star wars wrecker #star wars tech #clone trooper echo #critical and personal analysis #heavy emphasis on personal expectations

[marley-manson]

Finally rewatched GFA and lmao I wildly overestimated how much screen time was dedicated to BJ and Hawkeye’s relationship, oops. I think it’s bc 90% of what they did get was dysfunctional, and they got the Final Goodbye of Greatest Emotional Importance, so it stuck out in my mind.

This time around I still loved Hawkeye’s plot for the most part. Had my take that once he remembers he’s fine talking about it confirmed with the casual way he asks if it’s couch time when Sidney approaches during his letter-writing, as well as him bringing it up later on multiple times, jokingly and not jokingly with Sidney. His reluctance to talk about the bus and his deflection was clearly intended to be a major Something’s Really Wrong Here signal, satisfyingly righted after the revelation with his more casual, in-character willingness to admit to and talk about his mental breakdown.

I am not a huge fan of Sidney’s method of throwing people back into the traumatic war zone asap lmao, I actually misremembered that as the army’s doing, but nope it’s Sidney. I know that’s the psychological theory they’re working with so I take it in the spirit intended, but thematically it kinda sucks and uhhhhh Hawkeye quits surgery anyway so they failed to make it seem successful even if he did operate a few times first.

BJ really is a mess of a character lol, I honestly have no idea what they were doing with him in the finale other than scrambling to find something for him to do, and like half of what he does is let Hawkeye down one last time. Also the reason BJ didn’t leave a note is because he chose to be pressed for time so he could land in San Francisco instead of Seattle, which was Klinger’s first suggestion for his travel itinerary. Plus his refusal to say goodbye functionally states the reason he didn’t leave a note, ie his emotional constipation, which is a very pointed flaw in this episode especially so I don’t think having more time would’ve made a difference.

Also relatedly BJ’s “I just thought there might be something we wanted to say to each other” came across even worse this time around because Hawkeye’s “Look, I know how tough it is for you to say goodbye, so I’ll say it,” calls back to it. It really genuinely was BJ demonstrating his inability to emotionally connect with Hawkeye without Hawkeye doing it first and wanting Hawkeye to read his mind and offer a heartfelt outpouring of emotion without knowing he’s leaving and while in a cell in a mental hospital and right after BJ, who should have more sense than to talk about babies in front of him since he was purportedly on that bus too, triggered him. Evil evil scene for BJ. Also probably my favourite scene in the ep, because I love Hawkeye’s rant so much.

“Would you hold me in your arms or would you let me lie there and bleed?” still works as a commentary on their whole dynamic, but lmao it really does come completely out of left field in the scene itself, Hawkeye went from 0 to 100 in like 2 seconds. It makes sense as an extension of the way BJ left the hospital and then left without a note too, as Hawkeye expressing how he feels about that after stewing for a while, but yeah the actual scene still made me go ‘well that escalated quickly.’ And BJ’s “you don’t even have a cold” response, just totally and probably willfully missing the point, gj guy.

BJ getting drunk and joking about running off with someone during the goodbye party is a bizarre choice lol, and I can see why people want to take it as an oblique confession re Hawkeye because at least it’s meaningful that way and not just making BJ’s scene there a dumb awkward joke. The other way it’s meaningful is if it’s a Sign of BJ’s impending domestic doom ofc, though I’m on the fence about intent there.

Hawkeye’s “I can’t say I loved you all either... but I loved as many of you as I could,” is such a good Hawkeye summation lol, in the jokey, flirty way intended, in the non-gendered way that’s probably unintended, and in a true-on-a-deeper-level way too.

Soon Lee was disappointing honestly. I thought she might have more personality here than in the last ep, but nah. The only moment she had where she showed any kind of personality was her line about wanting to see Klinger in a dress. That was a great joke though lol. I’m curious what she’s like in AfterMASH, but not enough to watch any of it. I do love Klinger staying in Korea for the irony, and I LOVE that it really is the same wedding dress from season 3.

Charles and Margaret were more entertaining than I remembered, I really enjoyed them rehashing old arguments here. I totally forgot that Margaret mentioned wanting to work in a stateside hospital at the very start of the episode before getting all the letters from her father. Definitely doubling down on my belief that she’s not retiring from the military at all, but rather just working at a military hospital. Love her speech to the nurses best.

Mixed feelings on the Charles and musicians plot. It’s fitting, but perhaps not solely in the way intended lol, in that it’s always always always Charles finding sympathy and attachment to someone only after they appeal to one of his pet interests or the sympathies he already has. He really doesn’t change that much - he gets friendlier with some of the other characters, and he reveals more complex and endearing sides of himself, but he doesn’t really grow lol, and once you notice that he only ever starts to care after he projects his interests on someone those moments get a little less endearing. I think he’s still a fantastically written, fun, and genuinely pretty interesting character, but he never quite achieves likeability on a personal level. But hey, maybe that is intended.

Mulcahy’s plot was honestly a little annoying lol, like, dude you made it worse by refusing medical help and keeping it a secret for the sake of like... one more week with the orphans? I do think it was appropriate that he managed to keep his hearing loss hidden though, because it mirrors the way he tended to miss jokes and references throughout the show, and I dig that angle. Also I love his little crisis of faith and the implication that there is no greater purpose or reason, shit just happens in a war zone.

What else... idk lightning round:

- loved everyone cheering for Hawkeye after he drives the tank to the garbage heap except everyone who was in the OR with him who are all concerned.

- also loved Hawkeye driving a tank into a garbage pile just as a piece of symbolism

- love everyone going back to work after peace is declared, that just sums up the show right there, perfect note

- still fucking hate that salute for Potter. it’s fitting, I understand why it’s there, it’s the most appropriate goodbye for Potter, I still hate it.

- that said I do love the like, 20 minutes worth of goodbyes lol. it honestly worked great, pacing, order, each individual exchange, the goodbye party speeches, all pretty damn solid.

- I did not remember that BJ got that motorcycle bc he just took it when the Chinese musicians surrendered lmao. love him driving Hawkeye up to the helicopter pad in it though as a call back to Yalu Brick Road and Blood and Guts w/ Hawkeye acquiescing for once.

- I think it was a mistake to include the forest fire. I know it happened irl, hence why they incorporated it, but like it adds absolutely nothing but an awkward continuity error where it switches from night to afternoon even though they should’ve been bugging out before that, and a melancholy moment where Potter looks at the burned up support poles, which sucks because that’s not a fond home for them. Like come on, if the 4077 burned down in season 3 the MCs would’ve roasted hot dogs over the coals. Also the military march verson of the theme playing during the bug out scene... yeesh.

- but yeah overall solid finale, pretty much what you need after 11 seasons, gj everyone.

#mash #marley on mash #mash s11 #ship hb #also i just got the aftermash/aftermath pun... still an awful show title but marginally less awful now

[elliepassmore]

Divine Rivals review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: historical fantasy, epistolary narrative, enemies to lovers, pen pals, WWI I didn't really think I'd be into this book, but I ended up absolutely loving it! Along with The Dictionary of Lost Words this is probably going to be one of my favorite reads of the year. I enjoyed both Iris and Roman's POVs and was engrossed in all of the plotlines. I also liked how it was set during a fantast world version of WWI. That's not a time period that gets a ton of attention, particularly in YA, so it was interesting to read about. The best way I can describe the setting is that it definitely felt vintage. Ross did a good job capturing the early-1900s vibes while still creating a unique world. Oath feels like a distinct city and you can definitely get a feel for both it and the people living there just from reading Iris' experiences living and working there. The town she's posted in as a correspondent feels distinct and you can definitely get the European countryside vibes and the unity the people of the town have. Ross also did a good job of capturing the reality of trench warfare and the horrors and trauma that result from it. She mentioned in the acknowledgements that Testament of Youth was one of her inspirations and damn if she didn't capture those vibes perfectly (sad movie, do recommend). The story is told in normal narration, but there is a pen pal thing going on, so it's also semi-epistolary. I liked reading Iris and Roman's letters and thought it was a good way to further the emotional connection between the characters and with readers. There was a good balance between the epistolary parts and the traditional narration, so even if you're not a huge fan of stories told through letters/diaries/etc., then you should still like this story. Also, shameless pluck for my favorite book ever: if you do like epistolary stories and you liked this book, definitely check out Code Name Verity. This book is action packed in a very casual way. The main plot is being a writer on the war front, and so Iris and Roman are largely focused on that. This leaves room for a lot of the tension to revolve around the conditions of war. Thus, while day-to-day things are pretty calm, there are times when raid sirens go off and characters have to scramble for cover. Likewise, there are scenes in the trenches with all the nail biting tension that brings. In this way, the story manages to be both calm and action-oriented. I do wish we got a little more background on the gods. Like, I understand a lot of it is left out because the characters themselves don't know a lot, but for a good portion of the book I had trouble figuring out which side the city of Oath was supposed to be on (and by extension Forest, which is kind of important for Iris' story). We did eventually get a little more information, and I suspect that figuring out the details is going to be a big portion of book 2, but I just would've liked a little more info in this book. Iris is the main narrator of the story and boy is she dealing with a lot. She's competing for her dream job, she's constantly low on money, her brother is MIA, and her mom is an alcoholic. Despite all that, Iris is able to push forward and stay hopeful for the most part. She's determined but not naïve, and when things take a turn for the worse, she's able to pretty quickly reorient and pick herself back up, which I liked about her. I also liked how kind and open she was to people. While it didn't come up too often, Iris was more than willing to lend a hand when people needed it, and she clearly felt deeply for those around her, even if she'd only known them a short period. Roman only has a bit of narration at the beginning, but his POV plays a bigger role later on in the story. He's definitely someone I felt for, though his struggles took a different shape than Iris' did. Roman was stuck between a rock and a hard place while in Oath, and while he could come across as abrasive and rude, even mean at times, there were moments when it was clear he genuinely cared but just didn't know how to go about it when under his family's thumb. Correspondent Roman is much more open and a more obviously caring person, and I enjoyed getting to see that side of him come out more. This is enemies to lovers (or rivals to lovers), but it's definitely one of those situations where the context the characters are in matters. Once Iris and Roman are removed from the performativity in Oath (either via the letters or via an actual change in location), the rivalry between them settles into something more amicable. It does feel kind of instalovey at times, but considering the context, I question whether they were ever really 'enemies' to begin with or if the situations they were in merely got in the way of a more comfortable dynamic between the two of them. I liked a lot of the side characters as well. Marisol is the owner of the bed and breakfast the writers stay at and she becomes something of a mother figure. She lives on the front and is determined to stay there and help however she can. Marisol was a nice adult addition to a book where, as usual, adults aren't really present. She looked after everyone and helped them adjust while also being a friend and someone to lean on. Attie is the other main side character and she's another war correspondent. She travels to the front at the same time as Iris and the two of them become quick friends. She has a big heart but also a lot of bravery. While the situation is foreign to her, Attie adapts quickly and is quick to bond with others. It's also clear that she's determined to keep those she cares about safe when it comes down to it. I really enjoyed her character and am looking forward to seeing more of her in book 2. Overall I really loved this book and highly recommend it if you're into historical fiction. The setting/time period is unusual and well done, and the characters are generally likeable and complex.

#book #bookshelf #books & libraries #bookaholic #bookish #bookaddict #book addict #books #books and reading #bookstagram #books and literature #booklr #fantasy #fantasy book #divine rivals #rebecca ross #enemies to lovers #epistolary #special edition books #historical fiction #ya historical fiction #ya fantasy #historical fantasy #ya historical fantasy #bookblr

[princesssarcastia]

thanks its the trauma: aka leave mike wheeler alone you jerks

stranger things is actually a great long term examination of these kids responding to trauma in different ways.  everything about the ways these characters shift and change can be explained by trauma. 

steve and nancy get into relationship trouble because their trauma coping mechanisms clash.  nancy wants to fight people and the government and the whole world and steve wants everything to just be okay and normal again, and that’s not really compatible.

jonathan’s coping mechanism for the first three seasons is to sort of circle the wagons, but also solve the problem of whatever’s hurting his people—which isn’t exactly the same as nancy’s, but definitely meshes more.  for season four, after moving across the whole damn country away from the support structures he’s had his whole life up to this point, his coping mechanisms shift to include smoking huge amounts of weed so he can feel normal again. 

steve doesn’t want to deal with it until he has to Deal With It, and then once it’s over he’s done and it goes back in the little box.  But with the trauma coping mechanisms he’s also got a ton of protective instincts, so when the shit hits the fan he can actually stop ignoring it.

Mike’s coping mechanism for seasons one and two was to get blindingly angry, very similarly to nancy’s actually, which is interesting.  He’s pissed off and mean to everyone, especially when his people are in danger or he doesn’t have all of them right in front of him.  We see hints of this in season three, too, when he lashes out at Will. 

But I feel like he’s had a shift similar to Jonathan’s for season four, where his response to the starcourt trauma battle extraordinaire and his best friend/girlfriend moving across the country was to shut down.  He’s done feeling angry because it got him into so much shit with other people in seasons 1-3, which is another kind of defense mechanism.  I’m gonna need people to stop hating on my boy for this pretty soon, thanks, like the answer to “why are they acting this way” is ALWAYS “the trauma!!!”  Let him try out repression for a while to see if it fits (spoilers: it doesn’t).

Tbh I would love to see him fucking explode in season 4 volume 2, like the pressure just builds until he can’t take it anymore.  Angry Mike Rights 2k22.

Joyce has major anxiety all the time, that’s pretty obvious.

Hopper is also big on the anger, and the repression, but he does both at the same time instead of alternating like Mike does.  And he’s been pretty consistent throughout all four seasons, I’m so sorry they took you out at the knees just as you were starting to heal king that’s so unfair.

Will just sort of shuts down, he internalizes and hides away and won’t emote negatively unless he’s alone, but being around his mom and his brother gives him a ferocious support system that a lot of the others just don’t have so he’s doing a little better with it all.  Which is....wild, given the givens.

I think El only started processing how traumatizing her whole life has been in like post-season 3.  She started getting out into the real world enough that it finally clicked for real in her subconscious that it’s okay to freak the hell out about the way she’s been treated up till then.  Aaaaaand of course immediately they move far away from most of her support system outside Hopper.  So, ironically, she develops lying and pretending everything is okay as a coping mechanism.  Friends don’t lie, except when the foundations of their world are shifting beneath their feet and they can live a fantasy life through letters to their loved ones to make it all better.

Max also gets angry and self-isolates, which is spelled out pretty explicitly as a trauma response in season 4.

Lucas is trying SO HARD he’s SUCH A GOOD KID he’s doing the work he’s self aware that his life has been crazy and he’s trying different things to see if it makes it better.  They should have gone to his damn basketball game.

Dustin is weirdly well-adjusted to be honest.  I think he leans on his friends a lot, or tries to and gets mad when they aren’t there for him.  He’s very much in the vein of Jonathan’s “solve the problem that’s hurting my friends” response, and he’s good at it, too.  His mom must be pretty incredible to have raised a kid like this.

anyway.  quit being mean to these small children because their regularly scheduled traumatizing nightmares make them act funny. they’re all good kids leave them alone!!!!

#stranger things #trauma #meta #character analysis

[martinacollenderplaywrightblog]

The day Leonard Cohen died even the sky wept for him. I woke to texts from my friends at the time trying to protect my broken heart from grieving but as much as we want to protect our loved one's hearts from grieving it's a form of magic not accessible to us mere mortals. I died a thousand times missing Leonard and I know some people will call me silly for grieving for someone I didn't know but what you must understand, I spent so many lonely nights comforted by his words and his words alone, so how could I not know him?

I went to see the Elvis film with my sister, and as I walked into the cinema, I KNEW he died at 42, I know he suffered drug and alcohol abuse, I KNEW this but still the knowledge didn't protect me from breaking down in the cinema when they showed his last performance singing "Unchained Melody" and when he sang "I'll be coming home, wait for me" I disvoled into a grief of such intensity I was sure I was simply going to die. There's a moment in the film where his ex wife is telling him I can get you help, I can bring you to Rehab and there's a deep sadness in him and he just says no. That's all he says is no. Two letters. But those two tiny letters held this pain that he was beyond help.

I'm poor and a nobody. Somedays I fantasise about being famous and rich but most days I'm grateful for being a nobody. I think it's a terrible infliction to be famous. Your worst days, the times your on your knees are splashed across the front pages of newspapers and people talk about you as if your absent of feelings. The world watched Amy Whinehouse, Elvis, Whitney Houston, Leonard Cohen and many many more being really sick and suffering. There pain was splashed across newspapers and people on radio and TV debated there sickness and addictions as if it was entertainment.

I'm a huge fan of Harry Potter; it was my childhood and I'm grieving because JK Rowling has come out with such hate for trans people who I adore, I'm heartbroken that my childhood hero has turned to hate against the very people she gave hope to. Daniel Radcliffe suffered an alcohol problem, he said he turned 18 and was handed millions of pounds and was surrounded by people who never said no to him and he began drinking a lot. I don't judge him for a second as I often to turned to seeking answers at an end of a bottle but it upset that pictures of him drunk and in an awful state where splashed across the papers, imagine being on your knees in pain and photos of your agony being so public, it's horrible and cruel. Emma Watson said in a interview the day the she turned 18 she went for dinner with her family and when she can out of the restaurant, the photographers were lying on the ground trying to get photos of her underwear up her dressed because she was now 18. To be victimised at such a young and venerable age was deeply distressing to me particularly Emma who is a fierce warrior for equality for women. These are just two examples of how vicious the media can be with no regard for human emotions and feelings.

I'm from Waterford, Ireland and I joined Waterford Youth Arts when I was 15 years old because I was interested in theatre. I hated it. There was far too much hugging and screaming from the other members and I found the games stupid and embrassing. I was all set to leave the world behind me after a month or two when I made my way to Garter Lane Theatre to see a production of To Leap From Paradise by the late, great Jim Daly. I was captivated and fell in love with the words and life's on stage I recognised as my own. I found out about Red Kettle Theatre Company and fell in love with the idea that a group of people from my home, from Waterford, got together and created magic. I loved that they put on plays with a beginning, a middle and an end with sets and costumes. I was far more interested in this than playing silly games. In my investigation of this group of people I discovered Ben Hennessy, a wonderful artist and set designer, my now favourite ever Playwright Jim Nolan and an extraordinary actress Jenni Ledwell. They were so talented, nationally known and famous artists, and they were from my hometown. I adored them and they became my hero's, by absolute stroke of luck they became my friends I'm so grateful to be able to say. I remember seeing Jenni Ledwell in Eden in The Theatre Royal and I fell head over heels in love with her. She was amazing and stole my heart. I waited for her afterwards with the intention of asking for her autograph, but when she came out from backstage in whirl of energy and light with a radiant smile I was too shy to go up to her, this was THE Jenni Ledwell like. I told her years later when we became friends and she laughed and said "Yea fecking eejit Teeny!" We lost Jenni recently and I've never been as affected by death as I was by hers, the grieve of losing someone famous, someone I adored and someone who is my friend is unbearable on the worst days, heartwrenching on the somewhat better days.

I find it very distressing to watch these famous people suffering because in my mind I simply can't separate the fact that they have feelings and are in pain with that there famous.

When I told my pyschratist I was grieving them, a look of utter confusion came across his face and he said "I'm sorry Martina we don't have a tablet for that" he simply didn't know what to do with such an intense grief on a daily bases.

I'm a mess, I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm happy, I'm always crying. I can't separate loving someone and being in pain for their pain, I'm constantly and forever more overcome with emotions on a daily bases, either overcome with love and drowned in grief. I'm mental and I don't know if it's because I'm mental or if it's just the way I am but everything is very intense. It's a price I pay for being able to love and if that's the cost I don't mind paying it.

I'm obsessed with famous people, the talented who rise to the top, sometimes I feel like I have no right to know these initmate details of their lives but I only want to know to understand their lives and hearts.

I was going through a really hard time, was hidden in lies and secrets. Jim Nolan, my favourite Playwright knew me briefly at the time, he could see I was in pain and reached out to meet me for a coffee. I couldn't tell him what was troubling me. The coffee was brief because I didn't have the words to explain my pain but at the end Jim peered at me with concerned eyes and said "Martina someone told me on my dark days, no matter how bad things seem, it WILL pass, try and remember that" I didn't believe him at the time, I couldn't ever imagine that pain leaving but I'm grateful to say Jim WAS right. It passed. It was such a gift to know my hero, someone famous, had dark days too and survived. It gave me hope that not only could I survive but I might be able to be talented too despite my faults.

Right now, I'm exhausted with emotion, nothing bad happened! In fact quiet the opposite I had a great week but I'm just drained for feeling so happy and love for my friends and family. I do become so overwhelmed with love for the people in my life I have to cry to release the emotions. Its funny and I'm used to it and I know I need to rest for a time now. I wonder if their is a heaven, and I highly doubt I'd be allowed in for my sins but if I am I wonder will I get to meet these famous people and thank them for the profound impact they've had in my life. Because really amongst the love is a deep gratitude to them. What can I say, I love the bones off them!

#writing #poetry poem writing prose #quotes #famous #Leonard Cohen #Harry Potter #Red Kettle Theatre Company #Jenni Ledwell #Jim Nolan #Ben Hennessy #Theatre #Waterford #Daniel Radcliffe #Emma Watson #50s elvis #Elvis #Crying #Weeping #bipolor

[noramoya]

TODAY I FOUND A POST OF JANUARY 31ST 2019. I READ IT... THEN, THIS YEAR LOOKED SOOO LONG AGO, UP TO NOW ! I AM, YES, EXHAUSTED ! NOT FINALLY, BUT MY FEELINGS ARE THAT WE WON. I LOVE YOU ALL MJ FANMILY ! – Nora 🤗❤️😘

“AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MICHAEL JACKSON FAN COMMUNITY”.

“Please forgive me for not being as thorough as I would like in the content below. Like many of you, I am having to ‘fight the fight’ during working hours, and time is of the essence. The lengths we will go to for the big man, eh? Firstly, please note, that I am simply a fan like you, this message comes from a good place and it’s only my advice, please do not mistake it as dictating or trying to lead. I fear some fans will use this as a means to twist it’s content and start bickering, but there really is not any need. It’s all for L.O.V.E.

I know, this is a testing time for all of us. It feels like 1993’ and 2003 combined and on steroids ! The huge difference this time however, is that Michael Jackson is not here to defend himself, so his Army, it’s more important now than ever before, we have to come together and protect His legacy. Friends and family may not understand, and work colleagues may think you’re bonkers, but we have been here before and we can win this battle once again. As Michael famously reminded us, ‘You Are Not Alone.’ I know that the fan community is huge and there are lots of different groups of us. However, I think it is vital that we present an united front to the extent that we can, and try to take an unified approach in how we deal with this latest attack. I’m going to break the following down under separate headings, as there are several issues that I feel need addressing.

RESPONDING TO CRITICS/HATERS/MISINFORMED...

It’s very easy to get wound up, angry and defensive when faced with those who will believe the lies and fall for the nonsense and want Michael to be guilty. DO NOT STOOP TO THEIR LEVEL.

Let’s not fight fire with fire and instead extinguish it with Truth, Facts and Logic (think TFL, which will be handy for the Londoners amongst us as it refers to our local travel system). We have truth and evidence on our side and ultimately they cannot refute that. It is a fact that Wade Robson ardently defended Michael many times over the years. All the things they have claimed about Michael are simply that: CLAIMS. Furthermore, those claims are not supported in any way whatsoever by the EVIDENCE available. If you are struggling to answer questions in a hurry – DON’T. Instead, locate the answers from another fan who you consider to be more knowledgeable, or copy easy-to-understand responses from other Tweets etc – I’ve done it loads of times before. It’s better to do that than come across as a person lacking the correct information as that could just damage our credibility. Not having the answers is OK.

•Why did he settle in 1993?

•Why did he allow children to sleep in his room?

•What role does Bubbles have in all of this? 🤭

The entire subject matter is a minefield and you’d need a “PhD in Michael Jackson” to fully grasp the entire backstory. So, spare a thought for the misinformed and uneducated; it’s easier for them to decide MJ was guilty, because having to explore the research and truth is complicated and time-consuming. So, let’s respond with snappy straightforward facts – this includes Links, here are a couple of good ones:

https://www.mjvibe.com/its-time-to-fight-back/

https://themichaeljacksonallegations.com/

My other suggestion is to replace photos of Michael from your Social Media (unless it’s a necessity to the name/group). I know some of you will be conflicted with this, but trust me, from being a long-time supporter, you are taken much more seriously from the ‘other side’ when you have a picture of yourself or a neutral image, rather than that of MJ. You’re more likely to viewed as obsessive, blinded or non-objective, if they think you’re a big fan. My experience has been that being genuine and using a measured and friendly tone has a lasting impact and encourages people to listen, giving you the chance to explain the truth. DO NOT FORGET, there are future Moonwalkers out there waiting to join us, but we MUST be relatable. AND REMEMBER, not everyone can be convinced nor wants to be. It’s easy to spot those keyboard warriors, early on. BLOCK them and channel your energies elsewhere. Michael DOES NOT need those people as his fans. It’s definitely a case of picking your battles wisely.

• IS THERE A LARGER FORCE AT WORK HERE ?

So I have read on many forums about a ‘conspiracy’ against MJ. We know they exist and the latest one has been in refence to Sundance/Harvey Weinstein/Oprah/David Geffen/HBO etc… Let’s not go there right now – It’s complicated and can take us down a very deep rabbit hole, distracting from the necessary action that’s required in retaliating against the #LyingAboutNeverland MOCKumentary. We can deal with the ‘bigger picture’ when the time is right. The general public do not care, or rather have the time to listen about conspiracy theories involving Michael Jackson. On top of that, because of the nature of such things, conspiracy theorists are widely viewed as a bit outrageous and those that promote them are often seen as bonkers. We have to deal with being seen as crazy just because we are Michael’s fans. Let’s not add to that and give them any further ammunition!

• CHANNEL 4 :

The executives at Channel 4 are rubbing their hands with glee at the reaction to ‘LN’ . From what I gather from the inside, they are loving the attention the fans are giving to the show ! Remember, these networks are expected to create controversial subject matters, regardless of the truth, as long as it generates hysteria. You know in the Kanye West and Jay-Z song ‘N*ggers in Paris’, there’s a part where it comes to a crescendo and you can hear the actor Will Ferrell say the words “its provocative it gets people going” – Well that’s what they are hoping for. For us, as fans, it poses a complicated dilemma: on one hand, do we stay silent and not give it any attention for fear of indirectly promoting it to people ? Might that seem as though MJ’s supporters are small due to his declining popularity ? Or, do we stand up and beat our drums so loudly in response, and in doing so, cause waves of free promotion for the network? “Dammed if we do and dammed if we don’t” springs to mind. It’s not up to me to tell you what your decision should be; that’s your prerogative. Just don’t forget the silent majority of MJ supporters that do exist amongst us. Although there is no definite date as to when the show will air, it’s likely to be in two parts at the beginning of March (in the UK). In my opinion, it will be catastrophic, and we must expect the worst outcomes imaginable. I’m sorry, but it will be a difficult time and we will be challenged. I know there are many of you who are divided on this matter, ranging from ‘it will blow over, we have experienced worse’ to ‘this is the end of Michael Jackson.’ Whatever your view, we should all prepare for the worst and formulate a plan of action so we are ready to go once this thing airs. If it turns out that it is not as bad as I fear then great but let’s be prepared for all eventualities.

•PEACEFUL PROTEST :

There is currently a peaceful protest scheduled for outside the Channel 4 headquarters,on Wednesday, 6th March, from 8am onwards. We need MASSIVE numbers! I’ve already booked the day off work. Please no MJ costumes or anything that they can use to label us as crazy fans blind to the truth. The protest will be at:

— 124 Horseferry Road, London SW1P 2TX —

• PLEASE, DO ALL YOU CAN TO ATTEND ; it will be shambles if only a couple hundred turn up. Although that is a fairly decent amount, the reality is that just like Michael’s album sales, if the numbers are not record breaking, we are seen as pitiful. Let’s Unite in Abundance and show these bastards we are not messing.

• SOCIAL MEDIA GROUPS : Like many of you, I am part of various social media groups on Facebook and Whatsapp. I struggle to keep up. This means that some great information can get lost easily and it can become a technological minefield with information overload. My advice is to take a break from it all often! Since the news broke about the MOCKumentary I have not slept properly, I feel angry, my fitness has slipped and I am eating crap – this isn’t me. I have had to take a step back to reflect on my mental health throughout this and recalibrate everything.

• We cannot GO TO WAR on this if we are out-of-shape (emotionally, mentally, physically), forgetful, angry, vengeful, tired. We need to be refreshed, focused and happy within ourselves that ‘WE HAVE GOT THIS.’ I have written up a specific Tweet that you can copy and paste below. I’ve left just enough characters so that it will give you room to ‘@’ someone at the beginning, or simply just Tweet or Pin to your profile/share on Facebook etc:

• EXCLUSIVE hidden details from the #MichaelJackson doc!

• WATCH: https://youtu.be/9yTTEwBLfUQ

• WATCH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgSbSotJgUY

• READ: https://www.forbes.com/sites/joevogel/2019/01/29/what-you-should-know-about-the-new-michael-jackson-documentary/#72771961640f

• RESEARCH: https://www.mjvibe.com/its-time-to-fight-back/

• TAGS : #TheTruthToo #ConnectTheDots #LyingAboutNeverland #FactsDontLiePeopleDo #TheRightSideOfHIStory

• WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO ?

Right now, MJ’s Legacy is at risk. BUY HIS MUSIC ! I personally recommend that we purchase the song ‘SCREAM’ and make it go to number one all over the world. To anyone reading, feel free to set up a group encouraging this. I will strongly back the cause. I have seen today that the MJ Number Ones album is increasing in the UK charts. Brilliant ! Sadly though, I have seen Michael Jacksons place on Spotify fall sharply. He was 58th in the world last week and has slipped to 63rd as of today (31 Jan 2019). Get MJ on repeat via Spotify and other music streaming platforms. More importantly, REQUEST HIS MUSIC on radio – I know this seems like a full-time job, but every little does help. Maybe once a day send in a request via Twitter or radio stations’ Facebook pages. Michael’s music is a powerful entity and the best response to the hate. Remind people why they fell in love with his magic in the first place.

• PUT ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES:

I know that rivalry within the MJ community exists and I’ve experienced it myself, unfortunately. Whether it’s fans supporting the Estate or believing the Cascio tracks are genuine or having some kind of superiority complex, whatever it is – NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE DIVIDED ! Put your differences aside and let’s be United; do not underestimate how much strength there is in numbers and that THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN’T BE DONE IF WE RAISE OUR VOICES AS ONE ! We are dealing with a serious matter here on a global scale. There are talks that Michael’s music and the impact he has had on society will eventually diminish and he will ‘fade away’ – WE CANNOT AND WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. Simply put, we need one another now as much as Michael does.

• LET’S NOT FORGET :

Yes, our concern and loyalty are to Michael Jackson and the risk to his Legacy, but we CANNOT FORGET ABOUT THE GENUINE VICTIMS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL TRAUMA – It’s imperative that we drive that message in our retaliation. We MUST demonstrate that we are compassionate and serious about this matter, because MICHAEL DID NOT ABUSE ANYONE. Michael was a huge Advocate in the fight Against Child Abuse and he dedicated his entire life to helping others. If any one of us thought there was even a tiny bit of truth to any of these allegations, we would not be supporting Michael at all and WE NEED THE PUBLIC AND MEDIA TO UNDERSTAND THIS ! As a father myself, I ensure I drive this message across in every debate and rebuttal. Of course, in relation to the MOCKumentary involving Wade Robson and Jimmy Safechuck, feel free to also let people know that MICHAEL IS THE REAL VICTIM in all of this . Furthermore, DON’T FORGET to mention the impact this is likely to have on his three children and their future . That too is important.

• WHAT IS HAPPENING BEHIND THE SCENES ?

I am sure you are all aware that Michael’s nephew Taj is working on a Documentary in response to all of this. I’m not privy to the full details. I hope that this write up is provided to him so he is aware of the BLANKET message that I hope the fans will embrace as we move forward. When the news of this disgusting film was announced, Taj was settling into fatherhood and had planned to start 2019 changing diapers and being the best dad he could be. He should not be denied the joys of fatherhood and caring for his young child, by having to invest in fighting this project by Channel 4 and HBO. I witnessed Jermaine Jackson on British Television this week. I’ll be honest... I think he could have responded in a MORE forthright way. Right now, what we need from the Jackson family is a no-nonsense approach and real evidence that they are fighting this. We, the fans, can only do so much. They are the big machine in all of this. I worry that they DO NOT KNOW THE FACTS in the way that WE DO and I hope that we see more measured intelligent fans and supporters on radio stations and TV screens in response to the show, rather than Jackson family members who might be ill-equipped to deal with the questions. They are GRIEVING and HURTING, right now. Placing them in front of TV screens,with no deep understanding or energy to FIGHT is suicide ! KOWLEDGE IS POWER and I am in awe of the amount of rebuttal information that I read from the Fan Community ! Let’s use our skills to speak up in a way that will make doubters listen.

• HELP:

A few other fans and I have come up with the idea of having adverts placed in the press, on the sides of British buses, both in London and around the country . It will feature an image of Michael, kind of like the one in the flyer here. It was originally created by fan Nastyspaghetti7- To use as leaflet content given out at Sundance. It was very symbolic to the fight, so are going to use it for this too.

• WE NEED YOUR HELP. PLEASE GO TO : https://www.gofundme.com/MJ-INNOCENT

The Michael Jackson fan community is incredible ! The knowledge and dedication we have individually and as a collective is truly spectacular and I am so proud and blessed to be part of this magical and diverse community. The above are just my thoughts on how we can deal with the current crisis effectively and not intended to offend anyone so please don’t take it that way. I truly feel that if we conduct ourselves in a professional, polite and intelligent manner and present a unified front we can really influence others and get the truth out there, THANK YOU, Seány O’Kane (just a regular fan like yourself)

• Twitter: @SeanyOkane • InstaGram: SeanyOkane • Facebook: Seány O’Kane • LinkedIn: Sean O’Kane

• Categories: Media Spin, Michael Jackson WorldWide Commenorations, Michael News, Uncategorized

• Tags: #boycottChannel4inUK, #BoycoteDanReeddocumentary, #BoycotteHBOITV, #BoycotteJimmySafechuck, #BoycotteLeaving Neverland, #SupportMichaelJackson, #ProtestAgainstSlanderOfTheDead, #BoycotteSundanceFilmFestival, #DownWithWadeRobson

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