#or breaking a video game out of anger and never being able to recover it) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

baepop · 4 years

Text

J’aime II

When the barista who taught you everything you know suddenly comes back into your life, you have a hard time choosing between what feels good and what's right.

Word Count: 13.7k

Pairing: Jungkook x You x Hoseok

Genre: Smut, A N G S T

A/N: Wrote a part two to a story I initially made a oneshot. Here it is, sorry in advance.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

“Vanilla latte with 3 shots!” The older man strutted towards the bar with his hands in his slacks. He gave you a polite nod and a gentle smile before taking his drink and exiting the coffee shop. The first three months after you got promoted to barista were the hardest, not only because the job was way more difficult than simply wringing up orders on the cash register, but because of the little details that kept you up at night, like the look in Jerry’s eyes every time he took his cup from your hands. It was a somber look that said this isn’t quite how I like it, but I’ll take it anyway, mixed with another look that entirely said I wish Jungkook were here.

Yeah, well, me too Jerry, me too.

There were some hidden blessings during those months from hell, however. You had thrown yourself into your work completely, busying yourself on learning everything about the shop and filling the enormous shoes that were left behind, so you barely had time to think of him. At first, he was all you could think about. You even drove past his house to see for yourself if what you had heard was true, which wasn’t a good idea because the “for sale” sign stuck into the front lawn had you breaking down for the 20th time.

Hobi made things a lot better, though. He made it a point never to speak about him or what happened unless you brought it up first, which you never did… at first anyway. You two continued on as if no one by the name of Jeon Jungkook had ever worked there. You appreciated it, because you knew he was close with him, too. Hobi would even go out of his way to make it seem as if him and Jungkook weren’t still close, but one day, you caught Jungkook’s distinct childish laughter bellowing out from the receiver of Hobi’s phone as he came into work one morning. It seemed Jungkook was catching him up on how the move went and how he was doing. Hobi was none the wiser at how you felt as though a dagger was plunging into your heart every time he chimed, “That’s so awesome, man. I’m happy for you. Wow, cool.”

I guess I was the only disposable one here.

Your sour mood had Hobi keeping his distance during that entire shift. You felt bad that your coldness made him uncomfortable, so you invited him out after work that evening.

“Sorry, I’m being such a bitch. Ice cream? On me?” You smiled at Hobi tentatively. The boy looked over at you with a smile playing at his lips.

“You said it, not me. But if it’s your treat…sure!” Your best friend beamed at you and you couldn’t help but giggle, your bad mood instantly lifted.

As you two sat in silence later that evening, licking at your melting ice creams and staring at the creek gurgling past you at the local park, the last of the sun’s fiery departure shown on your faces with a golden intensity that dwindled into cool tones and a stillness that urged you to open up to your friend.

“Sorry.” You wanted to say more but you were afraid your voice would start shaking, so you just continued eating your ice cream.

“Don’t be. It was fucked up. I’m sorry.” You shook your head as you listened to the boy who could only stare at you worriedly. When your eyes started getting glassy, he reached out and took your hand, and you let him, letting it lay limply in his strong hold, refusing to make eye contact. “You don’t need to apologize for anything. But hey, there will be plenty of guys knocking down your door once you’re ready to get back out there.”

You nodded and laid your head on his shoulder, licking at your ice cream absentmindedly. After a moment of silence, you asked, “So, how is he?” You felt Hobi stiffen, but when you squeezed his hand so as to say It’s okay, he sighed and spilled the beans.

“He’s good, great actually. He likes his room a lot better at the new house and…he’s actually started seeing someone…a neighbor, I think.” You kept nodding, even as the unwanted tears began trickling from your eyes. “He hasn’t signed up for classes yet, he decided to take the semester off and focus on his music. Oh, and his dog loves the new house, there’s a lot more space for him to run around in.” You were suddenly hit with the realization that you didn’t know Jungkook at all, and it made you feel all the more stupid for feeling so heart broken. You had no idea what his hobbies were, what his aspirations included or anything of the sort. When you began fully crying on Hobi’s shoulder his sentence died out in his throat. He let go of your hand and put his arms around your shaking frame as you buried your face into his chest and sobbed. That was the last time you ever cried over Jeon Jungkook.

Three months after the months from hell followed some of the best months you’d had since you started working at J’aime Café. You started cultivating relationships with regulars of your own and feeling pride at the kinds of drinks you were now able to make. Jin even added a few that you created, thanks to Hobi for being your faithful taste tester. It was around then that you started to let the ice around your heart thaw, though you knew it was in large part thanks to the boy who was extending the helping hand that was pulling you out of your misery. Sleeping with him helped a lot too.

It started after the good cry at the park. Hobi began inviting you out more and more, insisting that being alone was only making things worse. You couldn’t deny it, or refuse his adorable pouting, so you spent most days of the week hanging out with your best friend. You could be found at his house playing Mario Kart in his living room or rough housing with his nieces and nephews. Sometimes you’d hang out at your house and watch scary movies, only for you to laugh at the way he’d jump at any little noise. Normally your parents wouldn’t be happy about how often he came over, but they must’ve felt pity for you seeing how depressed you’d been the past few months and decided not to give you a hard time about it.

In fact, they’d even let him sleep over on nights where you’d both go a little heavy on the soju, which surprised you to no end but were grateful for, nonetheless.

On one specific Friday night in August, you found yourself getting increasingly drunk with your best friend in the confines of your bedroom. Jin had given you the first Saturday off in a long time so you wanted to take advantage of it by getting shit faced the night before and having all of Saturday to recover.

You and Hobi’s favorite thing to do while drinking was to play one of your dad’s many board games. However, you had played almost all of the ones that were two players and up, that is, until you had dusted off a battleship box that was placed at the top of the bookshelf in your basement.

“Oh my god, Battleship!!! I used to play this when I was little! Let’s play!!” Hobi took the box from your hands and ran all the way upstairs to your room with you giggling close behind. Six bottles of soju and many balled up pieces of paper later, you and Hobi were laughing noisily at your drunken antics when a facetime call interrupted. Hobi wiped a tear from his eye before focusing on his phone screen. Jungkook was calling him and you had long noticed before the boy’s delayed reflexes kicked in to hide his phone from your eyesight.

You rolled your eyes and held your hand out. “I know Jungkook’s calling you, Hobi. You don’t have to keep hiding your friendship with him. Now hand it over.” Hobi only looked at your palm then at your face, unsure of what to do in his buzzed state.

“I don’t know Y/N… this doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

“C’mon! Before it stops ringing! I’ll be on my best behavior I promise.” Unconvinced, Hobi handed his cell phone over to you nonetheless and you caught the phone call right before it could end.

You held the phone in front of you and waited for Jungkook to look at the screen and realize it was you. It seemed he was busy playing video games as the phone lay on his lap, looking up at him. His thumbs tapped furiously on the controller buttons as he began speaking nonchalantly. “Hyung, you forgot to call me earlier! You have to tell me when you’re free soon so you can help.”

“Hey Jungkook!” Hobi pursed his lips, realizing this was a bad idea after all and lunged for his phone but you held it out of the way, keeping it trained on your face. Jungkook’s head snapped down towards the screen and started scrambling to pick up the phone.

“Y/N! Hey… sorry, did I dial your number by accident?” You couldn’t help feeling hurt, but nonetheless put a brave face on. As you let your eyes fall onto Jungkook’s face, you drank in everything you could in the little time you knew you had. It seemed he had put on just a little bit of weight that brought color back to his cheeks and it made you happy deep down below all the levels of anger you felt for him. His hair was longer and curlier and…was that a new tattoo?

“Nope. This is Hobi’s phone. We’re hanging out right now and he’s super busy so…” You looked over at your friend who was frozen, staring back at you with wide eyes. You couldn’t help giggling at the sight.

“Ah… and where exactly are you two and what are you doing?” Jungkook jutted his chin out towards the camera and rolled his tongue on the inside of his cheek, something you had noticed he always did when he was annoyed. When you didn’t respond right away, he took in the rosiness in your cheeks and the glassiness in your eyes. “Have you been drinking?”

You continued laughing as you responded, “That’s none of your fucking business. Also cut your fucking hair. Byyeeeee.”

“Wai-“ You hung up on Jungkook and gave Hobi his phone back, feeling the satisfaction you were hoping you’d feel after talking to him, although, it was hard not to feel confident under the influence of alcohol.

Hobi chuckled and put the device in his back pocket. “Why am I not surprised you would pull something like that? Best behavior my ass!”

“Well you’re the idiot that believed me!” You smiled and swayed, letting your hair loose from its top knot. You shook your head to loosen your stiff hair then blew strands out of your face in the silliest way possible because you knew it would make Hobi laugh.

“I guess you’re right. Maybe we should get you to bed before you do anything else you might regret when you’re sober.” Your friend chuckled at the sight of you before getting to his feet.

“Hey, NO RAGRETS, man! L-Like that guy from that movie with the chest tattoo! Remember Hobi?” You started having another fit of laughter as the boy led you to your bed by the elbow.

“Yes, yes, I remember, now put your pajamas on.” You began lifting your shirt over your head and Hobi instantly brought your arms back down. “Easy there, wait till I get out of the room.” He chuckled as a blush spread across his face. He exited your room and waited behind the closed door for a few minutes. When you didn’t call him back in, he knocked and peaked his head in only to see you fast asleep on top of the covers. Hobi smiled with a tender and affectionate look in his eyes. He gently pulled the covers from under you and tucked you in. Before he could ready the floor for him to sleep on, you reached out and grabbed his wrist then mumbled something about wanting him to sleep in the bed with you. Hobi hesitated before finally agreeing. As he crawled under the covers next to you, he gulped nervously. The atmosphere seemed to be extremely heavy as you both laid next to each other, your hearts beating furiously in your chests.

You weren’t sure why you were suddenly curious about your best friend. Maybe it was the heartbreak and the alcohol mixed together, but either way it had your hand crawling under the covers to find his. Hobi laced his fingers in between yours and shifted his head to the side to look at you. You did the same, letting your eyes fall onto his face as he swallowed thickly. He seemed unsure of himself, so you leaned in and planted a brief kiss on his lips to test the waters. That brief kiss turned into a full blown make out session under the warmth of your covers. As your hands roamed each other’s bodies respectfully, neither of you spared a thought on what you were doing in fear of ruining the moment.

When your lips grew cherry red and glistening, you nestled your head on his shoulder and fell back asleep while Hobi laid wide awake, stiffening each time your soft breath would caress his exposed skin. Eventually, he fell asleep with his nose buried in your hair. After that night, your once innocent hangouts had turned into some of the best sex you’d ever had.

Hoseok grunted as he carefully held your hair away from your face, combing his fingers through your strands and pulling upwards to get a better look. Drool slipped from your lips and began dripping onto his exposed thighs. You loved the noises he made whenever you sucked his cock, especially when you paid more attention to the head.

He drew in a breath through gritted teeth, watching you carefully as your lips closed around the tip of his penis with your tongue thoroughly massaging him where he liked it the most. Your eyelashes fluttered as you looked up at him while sinking back down his shaft, plunging him further and further into your lubricated mouth. He threw his head back in absolute pleasure, trying to hold back from bucking into you and causing you to choke.

As you slowly began bobbing up and down his length, your eyes ravished his fucked out appearance that only served to turn you on further. Your underwear stuck to your damp core as you observed his Adams apple bobbing underneath his perfectly taught skin and his lips trembling with the shaky breaths he was releasing as a result of your ministrations. His curly hair was disheveled, but even then, he still managed to look like the embodiment of sex itself somehow. At first it was weird, having these sorts of thoughts about your best friend, but those feelings melted away the second he showed you his talent for bringing your orgasms out of hiding effortlessly.

Being with Hobi was different than with Jungkook. You weren’t head over heels for him, but that didn’t mean you didn’t thoroughly enjoy pleasing him. It also didn’t invalidate the way your body responded to him like an instrument crafted just for him. At first, fucking him served as the greatest comfort to you. Getting dumped so harshly bruised your ego, but having Hobi worshiping your body the way he did was doing wonders for your wounded state. You just wanted to repay him the favor and give him the best fuck of his life.

“Fuck Y/N, I’m gonna cum.” Hobi’s whisper was strained as you gripped the base of his dick tightly and began pumping upwards, urging his climax on. The muscles on his thighs flexed as he grew closer and closer to his release. You took his penis out of your mouth with a pop and focused on jerking him off using the abundance of saliva dripping off of it. Hoseok gripped the edge of the sink, his knuckles turning white as spurts of his cum painted your awaiting tongue.

He breathed heavily while pulling his pants back up. You took his extended hand for support as you got off your knees, wiping the corners of your mouth with your thumb. Hobi ran his hand through his hair as he looked at you with awe and gratitude, flashing you a lopsided smile. Suddenly he grabbed you by the hips and pulled your close to him, looking down at you with lust-filled eyes. He wanted to make you scream his name, but the circumstances didn’t quite allow for that. Suddenly, he was hoisting you up onto the small sink, spreading your legs as he knelt onto the bathroom floor. You rested your foot on the counter, looking down at the boy as he waisted no time shifting your underwear to the side and burying his head in between your legs.

You bit your lip, your lower abdomen twitching every time his tongue flicked your clit. You were already so wet from having given him head that your pussy was aching to be filled up to the brim the way only his dick could. However, having full blown sex was too risky in the confines of your half bathroom, so you’d take what you could get for the time being. Your walls pulsed at each electric sensation that his mouth offered your sensitive bud.

Hoseok took turns licking stripes up the center and sucking on your clit, slowly driving you further into insanity. Soon you were holding onto his hair, keeping him close to you as his lips latched onto your clit with vigor. His large hands kneaded the inside of your thighs. Feeling the way your body responded to him was his most favorite thing. You struggled to keep quiet, the buildup of sensation threatening to overtake you.

Hoseok kept his eyes trained on your face. Your mouth hung open and your eyes stared slightly past him as your orgasm slowly crept up. He recognized that look on your face, so he detached himself from your dripping pussy and stood up, sliding two of his fingers into you. You were so wet that there was hardly any resistance. His fingers expertly curved upwards inside of you and you instantly felt the jolting sensation threaten to make you come undone right then and there. Hoseok bit his bottom lip, leaning in close to you with his face inches from yours as he watched you struggle to keep quiet. He smirked cheekily, reading the pleasure on your face. He absolutely loved watching you get off on his fingers, it’d never get old to him. His digits pumped in and out of you furiously as you held onto his shoulders for support, surrendering yourself to the delicious feeling of him fucking you with his fingers.

Mewls began spilling from your mouth involuntarily, so Hobi pressed his lips against yours to stifle the sinful sounds filling the small room. Hobi held you close to him with his free hand as your body squirmed under the immense pleasure he was giving you. Soon enough you were moaning into his mouth as you squirted on his hand, soaking his fingers and palm in the process. You saw stars as you tasted yourself on his tongue, momentarily forgetting where you were. When he finished milking your orgasm with his fingers, he pulled them out and adjusted your underwear for you. You shivered, both of you slightly out of breath. He helped you off of the sink and held the door open for you as you hurried to return to your living room before your parents noticed you were gone suspiciously long.

“Wow, you even remembered the right amount of steamed almond milk to put in my cup! Would it be terribly inappropriate to confess my love to you right now?” The older gentleman in a fitted suit swirled the stirrer around in his large sized cup.

You giggled as you continued making the next drink in line. “It would, but I certainly wouldn’t stop you.” As you pulled on the steaming nozzles, you looked back up at one of your favorite regulars in time to see him wink at you before heading out. You heard Hobi making vomit noises to your left which had you grinning through the rest of the morning rush.

It was a chilly Saturday at the start of September, and you and Hobi were the only ones in the store. Jin hadn’t gotten around to hiring a new employee, but it was fine since you two worked so well together. Working with your new lover was much different than it was with Jungkook. Hobi still always kept a respectable distance from you in public and he’d also never flirt with you. On the surface, you two seemed as platonic as you always had been, and it gave you the breathing room you needed while still getting over Jungkook.

As you squatted to wipe down the cabinets during the slowness of the late afternoon, you heard the small ticket machine buzz and print out a new online order. You reached for a cup and the ticket. Large dark roast coffee, black. You turned around towards the brew machine and began filling the cup to the brim, humming a song that had been stuck in your head all day. The familiar chime of the door rang gently throughout the shop, signaling a new customer entering, probably the one who had just ordered. As your fingers expertly fitted a cup sleeve and a lid on the steaming cup of coffee, you turned again and placed the cup on the counter. Before you could look up, a pale hand reached for the cup and enveloped your hand in the process. Your scalp prickled as you realized who those peculiar hand tattoos belonged to.

Everything inside of you froze. You swallowed thickly as your eyes led you on a journey to Jungkook’s face. Leather jacket, long dark curly hair, dangly earrings, big bright eyes, bunny smile. You stared at Jungkook for what felt like an eternity and he did the same.

His touch felt like it was burning proof of his presence on your flesh. Your subconscious urged you to say something, anything, but you could only settle for parting your lips. When it all became too much, you blinked rapidly and yanked your hand out of his grasp. The cup threatened to tip at your jerky movement but Jungkook steadied it without his eyes leaving you.

“No hello?” Jungkook took a small sip of his coffee. Finally, you mustered a weak “hey” and squatted back down and out of sight to continue wiping the cabinets, a furious heat radiating from your face.

“Yo! JK! It’s been a minute brother!” You could hear Hobi’s enthusiasm as he came out of the back room and rounded the bar to give Jungkook a hug. They embraced while patting each other’s backs in genuine happiness. Hobi held Jungkook at arm’s length, eyeing him. “A-Are you taller than me now!?”

Jungkook laughed heartily at his friend’s antics. “Shut the fuck up Hobi, it’s only been a couple months! But for the record, I was always taller than you.”

Part of you wanted to join in on the fun and catch up too, but you knew there was no way you could. Jungkook coming in unannounced completely caught you off guard. You still hadn’t come to terms with seeing him again after what happened. You didn’t know what to say or how to act around him after he ghosted you the way he did. If you had seen him months ago, you’d probably have reached over the bar and smacked him for being such a douchebag to you. But now? After so many months had passed, you kind of just wanted answers.

“Are you still coming by later, hyung?” You heard Jungkook backing out of the coffee shop as Hobi answered him from behind the bar.

“Yeah! Just text me the address, I’m not closing today so I can come by around six.” The chime of the door signaled Jungkook’s departure and the release of the breath you had been holding in.

Hobi walked over to you and crouched down, taking the now dry rag out of your hands. “You know he’s gone now, right? It’s safe to come out.” Hobi whispered at you extra loudly. You pursed your lips at his teasing.

“Yeah, I know. I’m not hiding or anything. It’s just really filthy down here!”

“Mhm, sure.” You stood up and followed Hobi to the grinder. As he began scooping beans into the hole, you tried to seem as nonchalant as possible before grilling your friend.

“So…”

“Go ahead and ask me Y/N.” He couldn’t hide the exasperation in his voice.

“You weren’t going to tell me he’s in town today?”

“He’s been in town since last week, he just hadn’t stopped by the shop yet, so you haven’t seen him until today.”

“Umm, okay, why? Visiting you?”

Hobi gave you a knowing look, shaking his head with a smirk as he poured more beans into the grinder, “Nah, he actually just moved back into town. He got himself a small apartment on the north side. He really missed it here, I guess. Anyway, I promised him I would help him move some furniture in today so I can’t come by later, in case you wanted to hang out.”

You weren’t sure how to respond to the sudden influx of information. Jungkook was back? Your heart fluttered a bit, like a dying bird shaking its wings at the sign of help.

Wait, my best friend knew that the guy that broke my heart was back in our lives and didn’t say anything?!

You pushed Hobi but the towering boy barely budged. He looked at you in confusion.

“Why didn’t you say anything!? I looked like an idiot back there! You didn’t think to tell me Jungkook was back permanently!? What kind of friend are you?!” You paced back and forth behind the bar fuming.

“Woah woah, I may have let you find out on your own, but it was entirely your decision to hide under the espresso machines like a huge weenie.” You pushed Hobi again for daring to make fun of you at a time like this. “Anyway, I didn’t think it was a huge deal. It’s not like he got his old job back. You’ll probably barely see him.”

You sighed and sagged against the counter, taking all this information in. It wasn’t necessarily that you didn’t want to see him again. You actually kind of did. You missed him after all. You also never got closure for everything that happened, but you weren’t sure that you wanted to open up that wound again after you’d been doing so well.

After a while, you started getting angry thinking about everything. You began wiping down the already clean counters vigorously. So, this guy’s just going to strut in like he owns the place? Move back to my neighborhood without so much as a phone call?! Who does Jungkook think he is honestly!?

Your anger carried out well into the night when you found yourself swiveling in your desk chair out of pure boredom. You laid your pouting face on your arms that rested on the back of your chair, your toe moving you to and fro. You wondered what Hobi and Jungkook were up to right now. Feeling terribly lonely and left out, you scrolled through your phone, but nothing served as a good enough distraction.

You sighed dramatically, throwing your head back in frustration. You pondered whether to call Hobi and be nosy or not. It bothered you that he was casually hanging out with the guy that dumped you in the worst way possible, but you knew you couldn’t really hold it over him, since Jungkook was also his best friend long before you entered the picture. Still, you reserved the right to feel petty about it privately. You’d also be lying if you said it didn’t weird you out that they were hanging out, wondering if Jungkook knew you were now fucking his best friend. I mean, wasn’t there a code between males about not doing that kind of thing? The only reasoning you could attribute to it was that Jungkook simply didn’t care, which bummed you out.

As you stared at your tidy bed, you contemplated just going to sleep early. It was 9:58pm on a Saturday and you had nothing to do. Even your parents were out enjoying themselves right now.

You crawled into bed and laid on your side with your phone in your palm. Just as you closed your eyes, it buzzed violently in your hand. Your eyes shot open as you turned your phone to see who was calling. Hobi wanted to FaceTime you, much to your excitement.

There was a small delay in between you pressing the green button and Hobi’s chirpy voice coming through your receiver.

“Y/N! Heeeey!!...Are you sleeping?” You jolted upright, holding your phone to your face.

“Uhh no. What’s up? I wasn’t expecting to hear from you tonight!”

“Yeah, well, me and Jungkook are done with everything and we just got some beers. We were wondering if you wanted to come over and hang out. It probably won’t be a late night since we’re both exhausted, but I figured I’d see if you weren’t up to anything.”

“Uhhhh. I’m actually pretty busy but thanks for the invite!”

“Oh, you are? With what exactly?” You could hear the sarcasm dripping from Hobi’s voice as he deadpanned into the camera.

“You remember…that stuff I had to take care of. Tell Jungkook I’m sorry. I actually gotta go so…” You didn’t give Hobi a chance to retort before you ended the call and laid back down feeling lame. Only a few seconds passed before your phone began buzzing again. Ughhh Hobi! Leave me alone!

When you answered the call this time, it was Jungkook’s face instead of who you were expecting. You sat up again and looked at your phone in confusion.

“Hey Y/N. Hoseok failed miserably at getting you to come over so I thought I’d give it a try.” Jungkook spoke nonchalantly as he looked at you through the phone, his eyes alight with humor. You pursed your lips in annoyance but nonetheless let him speak uninterrupted. “I’m going to send you the address, please come…I miss you.” Your protest didn’t quite make it past your lips, his ending statement catching you off guard. He misses me? He hung up and texted you his address shortly afterward as promised.

You hugged your knees to your chest, contemplating the invitation. You really, really did not want to go now that your wishes had become a reality. You felt nauseous just thinking about being in an intimate setting with Jungkook again. It might not be so bad because Hobi will be there too, but still, you dragged your feet as you got ready to go to the north side of town. Was it really ok to hang out with him as if nothing ever happened? Are we just going to pretend that everything is peachy between us?

You got ready in record time before getting into your car and driving towards Jungkook’s. You figured jeans and a hoodie was good enough for the occasion, considering you weren’t trying to impress anyone anymore. At a red light, you checked your face in the mirror, feeling increasingly uneasy the closer you got to your destination. You talked yourself in and out of going a few times before you decided to commit to showing up. When you pulled up to the apartment, you noticed Jungkook and Hobi were sitting on the porch steps watching your car approach. You gave a small wave from the window and Hobi immediately hopped off the stair and jogged to you. You lowered your window once he hunched over and tapped on it.

“Hey.” You looked up at Hobi with a frown.

“Hey.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

“I know, it’s okay. Just don’t be a weenie again. Now get out of the car.” You sighed, turning the car off and unbuckling your seat belt as Hobi held the door open for you.

As you walked past Jungkook and into the complex, he followed closely behind you, your heart pounding furiously inside of your chest.

“Right here.” Jungkook grabbed your arm when you passed his door unknowingly, and you jerked out of it as quickly as you felt his fingers close around you. The tingling sensation lingered long after the brief moment had ended.

As you entered the apartment, you took in the compact yet functional space. Many things were still in boxes. A small beige couch stood against the wall with a small coffee table stationed in front that had beers piled atop, governing the left side of the apartment. Past the living room in the opposite direction was a small kitchen and a hallway with doors along it, one of those you assumed to be Jungkook’s bedroom.

You all took your shoes off and headed to the living area. Sitting Indian style around the coffee table, you all took the beers out of the shopping bags they were still in. Most were IPAs, which had you making a face in disgust.

“Don’t worry,” Hobi addressed you as he pulled a six-pick of your favorite beer from under the table, “I figured you might come so I got something girly you could drink.” You smiled at him and took the drinks from his hand.

“Have I mentioned how much I love you?”

Hobi paused to think for a second before turning to you, “Yeah, I think you have, actually.” You giggled and slapped his arm playfully. As you reached for the bottle opener attached to your car keys, Jungkook took the beer out of your hands and quickly popped the cap off before handing it back to you.

“Thanks.” You didn’t look him in the eyes when you addressed him, instead choosing to stare straight ahead as you took a long swig of your beer. After a moment of silence, you turned to Hobi again, “So… how was the move?”

Jungkook answered before your friend could even open his mouth, “It was fine. How was work, Y/N?” Jungkook drummed his fingers on the table as he took a swig of his beer, staring directly at you, but you continued looking anywhere but at him.

“It was fine,” You answered curtly. “So Hobi, have you checked your phone? I sent you this really funny meme earlier.” Hobi reached for his phone but then paused as Jungkook piped up yet again.

“I like memes too. What was it about?” You sighed and finally looked at the boy who was eyeing you with an annoyed expression on his face.

“Are you going to let Hobi talk or…?”

“Are you going to talk to me, ever?”

“I thought you didn’t want to hear from me actually, considering the way you left me high and dry.” You challenged Jungkook, both of you looking at each other angrily. Hobi stared in between you two, rubbing the back of his sweaty neck.

“Ok, this is awkward, I’m going to go to the bathroom, you two try not to kill each other while I’m gone.” Hobi got up and bounded towards the hallway with you protesting his departure until he disappeared.

You grew increasingly nervous as the seconds passed. Your eyes wandered around the room as Jungkook’s fingers continued to drum on the table. While you carefully avoided eye contact, Jungkook’s eyes never left you even as he took swigs of his beer.

Jungkook placed his beer carefully on the table, his jaw looking as sharp as ever as he furrowed his eyebrows in contemplation. “Is that what you think? That I didn’t want to hear from you?”

“What else would you have me think?” Jungkook sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Y/N, we were on great terms before I left. Why would you think something like that?” You sighed too, looking towards the hallway and seeing no sign of your friend.

“Yeah, well, I thought we were too but then you up and left and told everyone but me that you were leaving. That kind of thing sends a different message.” You angrily drank from your beer, finishing it off then reaching for another. Jungkook took it out of your hands again and opened it for you. When you reached for the beer, Jungkook placed it on the table and took hold of your hand, rubbing the top of it with his thumb. Your eyes widened and your breath hitched. The gesture surprised you, yet you hesitated on pulling away, the feeling both foreign and natural.

“Y/N, I’m sorry if I upset you,” You guffawed at his apology, the word upset being an understatement, “I thought you just didn’t care. You said so yourself…that we weren’t serious whatsoever and that I was just temporary. I figured it was pointless…” Jungkook’s confusion mirrored your own. “But I’m back now so…can’t we go back to how things were?”

You gaped at him, not knowing which part of his speech to address first. “…I said what!?” Just then, Hobi returned to the living room, drying his wet hands on his pants. You ripped your hand out of his grasp and took your beer back with misty eyes. You hadn’t expected for anything he could possibly say to get to you, but it did. You couldn’t believe how apathetic he was about everything, as if he hadn’t ripped your heart out from your chest the day he left.

“We forgot to get hand towels at the store.” Hobi sat down adjacent to you, looking in between you both to see if the tense situation had dissolved yet. Jungkook’s eyes lingered on you, realizing this wasn’t the time or place to talk properly.

“Uh, yeah that’s right. My bad, I’ll pick some up tomorrow.” Jungkook cleared his throat before continuing, shifting uncomfortably. “Let’s put something on the TV.” Hobi flipped through a couple channels before settling on a competitive cooking show. You both loved watching those, but you couldn’t focus on it, not when Jungkook was sitting a few feet from you and saying things that were confusing you to no end. Why does he think I wouldn’t care? If anyone thought we were temporary it, was definitely him.

You all watched a few episodes in silence before you and Hobi decided to head home. As Hobi gathered his belongings, you discarded all the empty beer bottles.

“Hey Y/N, I don’t think you’re good to drive. I hardly drank so why don’t I just drive you home?” You looked at Hobi, contemplating his proposal. You did pound back a few beers to try and calm your nerves to no avail.

“You’re more than welcome to stay, though. There’s plenty of room.” Jungkook piped up from across the room. You looked at his cheeky grin, feeling unsettled. Why he thought that was at all okay to say was beyond you. Hobi read your shift in mood and jumped to action.

“Nah, that won’t be necessary.” Hobi lead you to the door with his hand on the small of your back, opening it for you and gently pushing you out. “We’ll see you around JK. Stop by the shop soon, don’t be a stranger!” You could hear Jungkook struggling to form a sentence before the door closed behind you and your friend. As you looked up at Hobi, you felt instant gratitude at how he took charge of the situation. You leaned into him for support as he walked you to the passenger side of his car.

“Have I told you how much I love you? Cause I do!” You smiled goofily and Hobi chuckled softly as he buckled you into the passenger seat.

“I think you might’ve mentioned it once or twice.”

As you two drove in the direction of your house in silence, you couldn’t help but stare at your friend with fondness and wonderment. At a red light, he looked at you for a second. “What?”

“Thanks for having my back.” Hobi smiled weakly but didn’t offer a response, so you continued talking to fill the silence. “Jeez…I can’t believe him. I know he’s your friend and all but, his capacity to be callous astounds me. I can’t believe I cried over him.” You shook your head as you looked out of the window, feeling like an idiot of pining over an illusion.

More silence followed until the buzzing of Hobi’s phone interrupted boisterously. A text message came through, so you took his phone to read it to him, something you often did whenever Hobi was driving.

You read the text message out loud in a monotonous tone, “Are you two fucking yet?” You furrowed your eyebrows at the phone, rereading it in your head. You looked for the name of the sender, black bold letters reading “JK” at the top of the screen told you everything you needed to know. Hobi laughed aloud, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

“I-Is he talking about us?” You looked at your best friend for confirmation.

Hobi eyed you for a second then shifted his eyes back to the road with an amused yet annoyed look on his face. He finally nodded, and your nostrils flared with rage.

“Why does he care?! I’m clearly no one to him! He has some goddamn nerve! And what the hell does he mean by ‘yet’?!” You began typing out an angry reply to Jungkook but Hobi took his phone from your hand in an instant. “Hobi! Come on!”

The boy shook his head as you whined. “I haven’t exactly told him about us. I don’t want him to find out like this.”

“I mean, he’s clearly on to us…but it’s none of his fucking business!” Your voice was getting louder as Hobi’s car idled in front of your house.

“Except it is his business. Y/N, he’s not the one at fault here. I’m the one who should be getting all the heat. I—”

You let out an exasperated laugh that cut off his next sentence. “I can make my own decisions. I can sleep with whoever I want. You’re not taking advantage of the situation, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

Hobi pursed his lips, resting his head on the seat. He looked tired when you took notice of the bags under his eyes for the first time. You’d never seen him so serious before, so you made an effort to calm yourself down as you took in a deep breath.

Hobi smiled bitterly before speaking. “You know he was always jealous of us, right?”

You guffawed, “JEALOUS?! That’s real funny considering he got a girlfriend as soon as he moved.” You shook your head. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that? You looked at your friend again but didn’t let him talk as you made another realization. “Oh my god! Is that why he’d get weird sometimes when the three of us would hang out?!” Hobi nodded, his small smile acknowledging the irony in the situation.

You sat back in your seat, thinking about all the times you hung out as a trio. Eventually, you turned your body toward him, resting your head in your palm.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You spoke softly so that Hobi didn’t think you were angry at him. You were just curious, and most of all, taken aback.

Your friend ran his hand through his hair and shrugged, staring ahead. “I guess I didn’t want to cause any drama. Besides, the whole thing was silly anyway. Jungkook never had any competition when it came to you.” Hobi’s head turned to the side to look at you head on for the first time.

You were speechless and could only stare back at him wordlessly. Your heart tightened in your chest at the thought of Hobi feeling incomparable. You felt the air become heavy in the car as something went unspoken between you and your best friend. You didn’t know who began leaning in, but eventually, your lips were pressed up against each other in the gentlest kiss you’d had in a long time. Your lips molded around his as your hands reached up to cup his face. They conveyed the affection you felt that your words couldn’t dictate. Neither of you moved as you both relished in the sweetness of the moment. Hobi was the first to break the kiss, hesitating with his forehead on yours then moving back completely.

He cleared his throat, “You should get inside and get some rest.” You looked at him in slight confusion. Normally he’d be eager to come inside with you, so you couldn’t help the nagging feeling that this situation was weighing heavily on him, even though you felt it shouldn’t.

Your hand hesitated on the door handle as you looked back at him. “You don’t want to come inside?” Hobi opened his mouth to respond, but a strained look on his face stopped him from saying anything. He pursed his lips then turned the car on.

“Nah, I should really get home. I’ll see you at work though.” He offered you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. You couldn’t help feeling bummed as you exited his car.

The next day at work had gone exactly as it always did, momentarily calming your fears of things somehow feeling secretly different between you and Hobi. However, when he rejected your invitation to come over after work, your fear crept up again, although you didn’t make a fuss about it.

As you sat in the bathtub contemplating the events from the day before, your mind kept going back to that text message. You weren’t sure if it was silly of you to be so hung up on it, but you couldn’t help but feel as if Hobi was keeping something from you. You two shared everything, so why would he feel the need to keep a secret from you suddenly? Especially one that involved Jungkook. You tried to put yourself in his shoes, wondering if he felt guilty about being sexually involved with you. The thought made you sad.

A phone call came through suddenly and when you saw who it was from, you rushed to shake the bubbles off your hand to pick it up. Speaking of the devil.

“Hey Hobi. What’s up?”

“Hey! You in the tub?”

“Yup.”

“Knew it.” You smiled and rolled your eyes. “Wanna catch a movie tonight?”

“Yes! But I thought you were busy?”

“My schedule suddenly cleared up. I’ll pick you up at 8.” You rolled your eyes again as you hung up. Schedule my ass.

As you curled your hair with your curling wand, you primped your lashes and checked your outfit for the 10th time. It had been such a weird couple of days that you were just excited to relax and not have to think about anything but watch a movie with your favorite person.

As promised, you heard Hobi honking on his horn at 8:00 on the dot, and you rushed out to meet him.

“Hey you!” You climbed into the front seat excitedly.

“Hey!” Hobi began whistling as he pulled off. You found yourself smiling and enjoying the music that was playing, tapping on your thighs to the beat.

“Oh, Jungkook is coming by the way.” Your face fell as you turned towards him.

“Excuse me?”

“Did you not want him to come?” Hobi could never hold back smiling when he was teasing you.

“Hobi!!” You whined childishly.

“He’s already there so…I can’t take back the invitation now.” He chuckled as you gaped at him. You shook your head, feeling bamboozled. “Plus he feels bad for being dickish the other night.”

You frowned. “I’m just not sure we can really go back to the way things were.”

Hobi frowned too, taking a minute to think before responding. “I’ll be there the whole time, promise. I won’t let things be weird. Besides, we used to have so much fun together.”

You sighed and nodded, growing quiet for the rest of the car ride and contemplating what to say to Jungkook when you see him. You had mixed feelings about the situation, that was for sure. It seemed you and Jungkook were on totally different pages. You also wondered if Hobi was taking a step back in favor of being just friends since Jungkook was in the picture again. Did he think you’d just go right back to Jungkook and shun him? You looked over at him as he drove.

“Does Jungkook being back change things between us?” Hoseok turned his head to you briefly, considering your words.

“Should it?”

“No.”

A small smile formed on his lips. After a beat, he let go of the steering wheel to squeeze your thigh. You smiled back then looked out of the window, feeling your nerves calming down some but not completely. You still had to figure out what was going on with Jungkook if you two ever had any chance of getting along again.

As Hobi looked for parking, you could already make out the tall boy waiting out front of the theatre in that leather jacket you loved so much. The old you would be feeling butterflies and probably drooling. You couldn’t lie and say he didn’t still fluster you, but you weren’t ready to surrender yourself to those feelings again.

Hobi waved as you both walked towards the entrance. Jungkook returned the gesture then opened the door for you two to walk through. You eyed him timidly as you passed him. His eyes met yours briefly and he offered you a guarded smile to which you simply looked away. When he began engaging Hobi in conversation, you looked back at him, drinking in his appearance. Your memories of him that you kept replaying in your mind during all those months had not done him any justice. He had styled his hair out of his face, exposing his forehead and making him look a lot older. His button up hung loosely but still managed to get tight around his chest. His aroma was intoxicating as usual. It all suddenly became too much for you, the butterflies you thought were dead suddenly resurfacing. You decided to walk on the other side of Hobi before you got caught drooling.

The three of you chose an action movie to watch this time. The boys were hollering and cheering the entire time in the empty theatre as destruction and explosions sounded loudly throughout the room. You giggled, their excitement becoming contagious. You felt Jungkook’s eyes on you many times throughout the movie, and it brought you back to the first time you had all hung out together in this same theatre. You wondered if Hobi was right, if things didn’t have to be so fucked up after all.

As the three of you exited the theatre, you paused in front of the doors to say your goodbyes before going your separate ways. Before you could turn to leave along with Hobi, Jungkook cleared his throat and touched your arm.

“Y/N, why don’t I give you a ride back to my house so you can drive your car home?” When you furrowed your brows at him, he shot his hands up defensively. “No funny business, I swear.”

You sighed contemplating the situation, “Oh…uh. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” You looked back towards Hobi who stood in the middle of the parking lot. He looked at you uncertainly then at Jungkook. Something went unspoken between them before he nodded and waved, turning around to head to his car. You turned towards Jungkook who was already padding across the parking lot. You jogged to catch up with him, thanking him for being so thoughtful.

As you opened the passenger door and climbed in, you noticed that nothing really looked different inside of his car. That same gum wrapper you grew so acquainted with that had always lain crumpled on the floor was still there, and you smiled down at your feet, feeling comforted.

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook started the car and headed onto the main road.

“Ah, nothing.” You fiddled with the zipper on your jacket before clearing your throat. You wanted to just lay everything out in the open, if seeing him was going to be a regular thing.

“So, a little birdie told me you’re jealous, of me and Hobi?” You peered over at him, unsure of what his reaction might be.

Jungkook quirked a brow at you. He rolled his tongue around inside his cheek thoughtfully.

“Is this little birdie named Hoseok by any chance?” Jungkook responded to you in a manner that told you he was slightly annoyed. Nonetheless, you pressed on.

“It doesn’t matter, answer the question.”

Jungkook sighed, realizing there was no where to run. “Well, you two had always been so close from the start. I thought you might’ve been into him back then so I felt like I had to work a little harder to win you over,” Jungkook paused to look at you before continuing, “I, uh, actually asked him to back off a bit so I could have a proper chance with you.” Jungkook chuckled, feeling embarrassed.

You nodded thoughtfully, unsure of what to do with his admission. “Well…you didn’t really need to do that. I only had eyes for you so…” You figured if Jungkook was saying something that was hard for him to admit, then so would you. You looked out of the window, avoiding his look of surprise. Jungkook nodded in return, unable to hold back his toothy grin as he turned onto the highway.

After a minute of watching the road, you realized why you were feeling so nostalgic. You turned to Jungkook who had been quiet for a while now. “You’re kidnapping me again, aren’t you?”

“Again, it’s called dating.” Jungkook laughed as you slapped his arm for patronizing you.

“Jungkook—” You began to object, but the boy cut you off before you could.

“Humor me, please? For old times sake.” You shook your head at him, his presumptuousness knowing no bounds.

As you two pulled up to Jungkook’s favorite bar, you turned to him again as he parked the car. “Are we recreating our first date? That’s very cheesy of you.” You struggled to maintain a straight face.

“Hmm, some would say romantic, actually.” You both smiled and walked inside together.

“Bill!” Jungkook greeted the bartender loudly. The balding older man turned around and smiled as he threw his arms up.

“Jungkook! Where you been buddy!? We’ve gone bankrupt without your sad butt in here drinking all the beer!” The two men laughed and patted each other’s backs.

“I had to go away for a while but no worries, I’m back now!”

“Well that’s great then! Can I get you your usual?” Jungkook nodded as the bartender turned to you. “And for the lady?”

You looked at him then back at the older gentleman. “I’ll have what he’s having.” As the bartender busied himself with uncapping two beers, you fished for some quarters in your bag. “Pool? I’ll definitely kick your ass this time.” Both Jungkook and the bartender laughed heartily at your jab.

“She’s feisty! I like her.” The bartender placed both of your drinks on the counter and you both took them as you headed towards the pool table.

“Yeah, I like her too.” Jungkook beamed a smile at you but you rolled your eyes at him in return, although you failed to keep your lips from curving upwards.

“Watch yourself Jeon, we’re here as friends, and barely even that. You have much explaining to do.” Jungkook brought his beer to his lips, smiling and nodding along as his eyes checked out your back side. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the way you were making him work for it.

The game was neck and neck the entire time. You weren’t nearly as bad as you had been the first time you two played pool, but Jungkook was still good enough to keep you on your toes. You two were both down to the 8-ball, taking turns missing each shot you called until you finally nailed that shiny black ball head on and sent it plunging into the corner right pocket.

Jungkook placed his hands on the top of his head with a look of surprise. “Oh man, you actually beat me!”

You giggled and put your pool stick on the empty table. “You don’t have to sound so surprised! I told you I was good!”

“Yeah but I mean, last time you really sucked so…” You pushed him over and over again as he laughed. After the third time, he caught your hands in his and pulled them around to his back, bringing you up close to him. You looked up at him, taken aback by the lack of space in between the two of you. He smiled and looked down at you, talking in a low dulcet tone meant only for you.

“Good game.” Jungkook’s eyes trailed over your face, lingering fractionally longer on your parted lips.

You cleared your throat, blushing as you took a step back. “Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”

Jungkook grinned at your flustered demeanor. “Let’s play a game.”

You quirked your brow, “A game?”

Jungkook took you by the hand and lead you to the bar. You both sat on adjacent stools as Jungkook ordered a round of shots for the both of you. “Yep. You said I had some explaining to do, but I have some questions of my own. So, let’s ask each other anything we want the whole truth about. If any of us hesitates to answer, we have to take a shot.”

“Okay, who’s starting?”

“Ladies first.” Jungkook motioned over to you as he placed your shots in between you two.

“Okay...” You turned the shot glass around in your fingers, debating on what to address first. You threw caution to the wind as you stared straight into Jungkook’s eyes. “Are you still together with that girl you started seeing in Connecticut?”

Jungkook quirked a brow. “There’s no girl. I was never seeing anyone other than you.” Jungkook answered immediately, staring back at you in confusion. “Jeez, you really think I’m some player, don’t you?” Jungkook chuckled lightheartedly as he took a swig of his beer. Wait…but…that’s not… Jungkook misinterpreted your speechlessness as you waiting for him to ask his question. “My turn. Are you seeing someone right now?”

“N—Um…” You struggled to describe exactly what was going on in between you and Hobi. Neither yes nor no was the entire truth.

“Drink.” He regarded you sternly, poking his cheek with his tongue in annoyance. You nodded and took the shot sullenly. It burned all the way down and tasted like poison, but you managed to keep your cool. You eyed Jungkook, wondering what was going through his mind.

“My turn. Are you really here to stay this time?”

“Yes. I’m not going anywhere babe.” There were those damn butterflies again. It seemed as though they were here to stay too. “My turn. How much does Jerry miss me?”

You burst out into laughter and Jungkook couldn’t help but join in. “Oh my god, he misses you so much. I swear he hates my lattes!”

Jungkook chuckled along, “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Oh, it’s entirely true. And your squad of fangirls stopped coming around too once they figured out that you quit.” Your laughter calmed down and your tone turned somber. “Things have really changed around the café.”

“Drink.”

“What!? I answered!”

“Yeah but you laughed, that’s buying time, you cheater.” You flipped Jungkook off as he began laughing anew.

Jungkook pushed you up against the side of his car as your fingers tangled themselves in his long locks. His lips took turns ravaging your mouth and your neck. You couldn’t help the mewls that escaped you as his hands groped your body hungrily. The alcohol in your system was partly to blame for your inability to hold yourself back, but in reality, it was just that you missed his touch too much to refuse him.

As he returned to your lips, you opened your mouth wide so he could stick his tongue into it. His hands searched desperately for the car keys in his pockets. Once he unlocked the car, he reached around you and opened the door, leading you both into the back seats and closing the door behind him.

You laid on the cushions with him on top of you. There wasn’t much room in the back, so you both often bumped limbs or hit the roof on accident, causing a fit of giggles each time. You’d think that after hooking up in the back of his car so many times before, you two would’ve discovered what worked and what didn’t by now.

You wrapped your legs around his midsection and your arms around his neck as he circled his hips into the apex of your thighs. You continued mewling his name into his ear every time his growing bulge massaged just the right spot, causing the boy to shiver in anticipation. He continued trailing sweet kisses down towards your collarbone as you abused your bottom lip with your teeth.

“Fuck, I missed you.” Jungkook spoke in between kisses. You smiled, leaning your head to the side to give him better access to your exposed skin. You couldn’t help but wonder if you were dreaming. You’d fantasized about this happening so many times before, and now that it was happening, you didn’t know what to make of it. Your heart was still guarded, so you struggled to let yourself surrender to his affection. Your body, on the other hand, had no issues disregarding the past. You felt your underwear sticking to your core the longer you two continued to dry hump.

Jungkook came back up and smiled down at you, mirroring your facial expression. “What’s so funny now?”

“Nothing, I just…can’t believe this is happening I guess.” Jungkook’s smile widened as he leaned back in and kissed you passionately, your words clearly having an effect on him. You bit his bottom lip as his hand snaked down towards the junction of your legs. Your thighs shook as his fingers slipped past your pants and began expertly circling your most sensitive spot above the fabric of your underwear.

Yours and Jungkook’s panting began filling the car as you both started getting each other off, lost in each other’s eyes. Your hand palmed the hardening bulge in Jungkook’s pants, exciting him further as his fingers sped up. Just when you were about to give him better access to your sex, an incessant buzzing interrupted the lustful moment. You both looked around to figure out where it was coming from.

Jungkook shifted slightly so you could reach your hand into your back pocket and get your ringing phone. You held the device up to your face only to see your best friend calling you. You let it ring, but before you could put your phone away, he started calling again. You glanced nervously at Jungkook who was becoming increasingly annoyed.

You picked up the phone call and held it to your ear, “Heyyyy. Kinda busy here, what’s up?”

“Where are you?” Hobi’s simple question made your scalp prickle. You felt the need to lie, although you weren’t sure why. You two didn’t do that kind of thing to each other.

“Ummm, home. In bed.” Your mouth became a hard line as you looked up at Jungkook who was looking down at you with an inquisitive expression.

You heard Hobi’s sour chuckle coming in through the receiver. “Considering I’m at your house right now, I’m going to go ahead and say that’s not true.” There was a long silence on the line, neither of you knowing what to say. Finally, Hobi sighed and broke the silence, but when he spoke, he sounded exhausted, “Y/N…whatever you’re doing…just, don’t. Not again. No matter what you’re feeling, it’s not going to end well. Just come home.”

You could feel your heart pounding in your ears and your face getting hot. You hung up the phone and laid your head back, looking up at the roof of the car. Taking a calming breath, you looked at Jungkook who had concern written all over his face.

“Is everything okay? Who was that?”

“Uhh, my parents. I actually need to get home now. Can we just go back to your place so I can get my car now?” You gnawed on your bottom lip as Jungkook took a moment to process what you said.

“Uh, yeah, okay.” He quickly got off of you and helped you out of the back and into the passenger seat.

As soon as you two were back on the road, Jungkook reached out and grabbed your hand. He looked at you briefly to gauge your reaction. You offered him a weak smile and laced your fingers in between his. He smiled as he put his focus back on driving while you stared out of the window trying to calm yourself. Fury was budding inside of you and growing fast, but you didn’t want to take it out on Jungkook. Instead, you decided to continue your questions and answers game.

You turned to the boy, “So, the last time I saw you…you said some things that confused me.” Jungkook turned his huge doe eyes towards you briefly, humming questioningly. “You said you didn’t think it mattered whether you told me you were leaving or not, and that I just thought of you as temporary? What made you say that?”

Jungkook thought for a minute before a dreamy, lopsided smirk grew on his face. “I think you forget that Hobi’s my best friend too. He tells me everything.” Jungkook looked at you sheepishly, embarrassment displayed in the growing blush on his cheeks. “Don’t hate him too much for spilling the beans, I just had this huge crush on you, and I was never sure how you felt about me. But anyway…I get it. Some time has passed and if you’ve completely moved on then I’ll back off…I just wanted a second chance at winning you over and taking me seriously.” Jungkook let go of your hand to rub the back of his neck, fully avoiding your ogling. It was evident that confessing his feelings wasn’t his forte.

You were at a loss for words. “Jungkook I—”

“Don’t…feel obligated to say anything. Just let me take you out again, okay?” The mix of emotions you felt was giving you whiplash. Jungkook was here, and he was saying everything you wanted to hear from him after sleeping with him all those months ago. Your heart tightened with happiness, making your eyes water as you looked out of the window so he couldn’t see your corny reaction.

When you both arrived at your car, you found it hard to leave. You absorbed everything you could while he was still sitting there, saying all of those beautiful things to you. His apology was almost perfect, but it still bothered you that he had never reached out while he was gone, although you hadn’t exactly put yourself out there either.

“Okay, I get that the signals got crossed. But I just want you to know that I had a huge crush on you too and I was actually devastated when you left.” Jungkook nodded with concern in his eyes.

He walked you to your car then leaned into your open window as you buckled your seat belt and started your car. “Listen, I just wanted to apologize again for how everything went down. I had made these cheesy plans to take you out and tell you how I felt and that I was leaving for a few months, but I was scared you’d want to end things right then and there. Anyway, Hobi told me he had already told you and that you hated long distance relationships, so I figured it was pointless. I just wish I hadn’t listened to him…”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Had Hobi been lying to the both of you this entire time? No, there’s no way. Hobi’s not like that. You weren’t sure what to make of all this, all you knew was that you had to get to the bottom of things. You leaned in and planted one last kiss on Jungkook’s lips.

“So…I’ll see you around I guess?” Jungkook backed away from the car.

You gripped the steering wheel with both hands. Looking at him one last time, you nodded and smiled. He waved after you as you set off on the road towards your house.

The drive home felt extremely short as you fanned the flames inside of your head. You couldn’t believe Hobi’s audacity. Not only did he have the nerve to make you feel bad for being out with Jungkook when he was the one that encouraged it in the first place, but now he was lying to you!?

Who the hell does he think he is!? …Cockblocking me like that…He’s got some nerve! I’m going to fucking kill him when I see him. I am not some little girl for him to be scolding me like that! I hope he’s still there when I get home so I can give him a piece of my mind. I mean honestly—

You played out argumentative scenarios in your mind the entire way home, even as you parked your car and stomped your way up the creaky wooden stairs in your house that lead up to the bedrooms. As you opened the door to your room, you yanked your bag over your head and began violently removing your jacket before noticing the boy in question perched on your bed. You let your bag fall to the floor with a thud as your eyebrows furrowed at his nonchalant demeanor.

“YOU HAVE SOME GODDAMN NERVE—” You began yelling but Hobi put a finger to his lips and shushed you.

“Your parents already went to bed. Don’t be so loud.” He looked at you through half lidded eyes, clearly displeased with you which only fired you up more. You guffawed as you tossed your car keys onto your desk and let your jacket fall off your shoulders. “And speaking of having nerve, I didn’t appreciate being hung up on like that. And when did we start lying to each other?!” Hobi stood up from the bed and crossed his arms.

Your eyes bulged at the sheer disbelief that he could dare be on the offensive right now. “I’m sorry, when did you turn into my fucking father, first of all!?” You crossed your arms too as you made your way over to him, looking up at him angrily. “You are completely out of line telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing!!” Hobi looked down at you with an annoyed expression, a grin forming as his tongue slid over his teeth.

Finally, he threw his hands up, both palms facing you. “You know what? Fuck this. If this is what I get for caring about you then I’m out.” Hobi bumped your shoulder as he moved past you, heading to the door.

You followed after him with your arms still crossed. “Good! I’m old enough to handle myself! And you’re one to talk about lying. You want to enlighten me on what the fuck you’ve been telling Jungkook about me this entire time?”

Just as he reached for the doorknob, he froze. You circled the boy to stand in between him and the door.

Hobi sighed and let go of the doorknob. “Just let me go. I’m trying to do what you want and just go. Please move.”

“No! Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on! I thought you were my friend, but all along you were making it seem like I didn’t care about Jungkook and that he didn’t give a fuck about me either! What the hell Hobi, you watched me cry over him! If you don’t want me to be with him so badly, just say so!”

Hobi sighed again as he brought both of his hands to the top of his head, looking around the room in exasperation before his eyes came back to you. “No! Okay!? I don’t! He’s my best friend so I know him! You’re just going to get hurt again! And you’re too busy falling for him all over again to see that! Y/N, why on earth would I lie to you!? I thought you knew me better than that…”

You looked at him with misty eyes. “Yeah, I thought I did too, but now I’m not so sure anymore…and what do you mean you know him? Do you think I’m stupid enough to get played over and over again by the same guy? Is that it? I don’t need you to protect me Hobi!”

“You made that pretty clear. Can I go?” Hobi pulled the door open but you slammed it shut, fuming as you two stared at each other angrily. He pulled on the door open, but you shut it once more on him. The boy backed away running his fingers through his hair in a frustrated manner. “FINE. YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REAL REASON WHY I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE WITH HIM!?” He turned back to you with wild eyes, clenching and unclenching his fist at his sides.

“YEAH I DO!”

In two strides, Hoseok covered the distanced in between you two. His hand reached up to your face and roughly cupped your chin, creating dimples in your cheeks. The unexpected motion had you crashing onto the wall near the door as Hobi’s lips collided with yours. Your hands came up to claw at his shirt, but he took them and pinned them above your head. You moaned into the kiss, biting his lip from frustration. The boy grunted as he slowly slid his lip out of your grasp, relishing in the slight pain.

Something carnal and hungry took over him as he licked a stripe up your neck and your cheek. You whimpered pathetically, feeling your underwear dampening for the second time that night. He hiked your leg up around his waist, digging his knee in between your legs. You let out a moan, wriggling in his grasp. You refused to give into his seduction, not this time. You were angry as hell at him, but somehow when you looked at the face of the person you’d shared everything with this past year, you wanted to slap it as equally as you wanted to ride it.

Hobi’s lips hovered above yours as he tightened his grip on your wrists. He sneered at your irate expression. “Admit it, you want me too.” With his free hand, he cupped your sex roughly, eliciting a gasp from your swollen lips. “Tell me, does he make you squirt the way you do when I finger your pretty little cunt?” You felt his words resonating deep inside of you, your desire for him budding amidst all the disgust you felt at his behavior. Hobi hummed, looking into your eyes and waiting for an answer. When you fell silent, his eyes turned sincere as he let go of you. “Does he make you laugh until your stomach hurts, the way you do with me?”

You looked up at his tortured face. His eyes bounced between your eyes and your lips, his chest heaving with the weight of the moment. His blood pumped furiously through his veins at the restraint he exhibited when all he wanted to do was demonstrate his love letter to you by fucking you into that wall behind you, bucking into you line for line. He wanted to make you understand how much torture he’s been in all these months, to feel on top of the world as he always did every time you moaned his name while bouncing on his dick. He wanted you so badly. The only thing he wanted more was for you to want him, too.

You sneered at him before you spat, “At least he doesn’t lie to me.” You pushed him off of you with force this time. He stumbled back, feeling defeated.

You watched as he opened your bedroom door again, your throat feeling restricted. You mentally kicked yourself as you closed it on him again. You hated yourself as you watched him turn to you again, hope in his eyes reigniting. Tears sprang to your eyes, the idea of him leaving you feeling so unbearable you could barely communicate that to him.

“Hob—” The boy picked you up and crashed his lips to yours in one swift motion, leading you over to your bed. A tear spilled and rolled down your cheek as he laid you down gently on the bed. You sobbed into the kiss as you held him close to you. He detached himself from your mouth and kissed the tear on your cheek. Reaching for the bottom of your shirt, he pulled it over you as you did the same for him. You undressed each other with impatience, eager to feel skin on skin. Your hand slid over the expanse of his muscular torso. You felt goosebumps interrupting the smoothness of his beautiful honey toned flesh as he paused to marvel at your bare body splayed out for him. You wanted to kiss every inch of him and him you, but neither of you wanted to delay him being inside of you any further. You placed your hand on his shoulders as he lined himself up with your entrance, plunging smoothly into you in one go. He stilled to let you adjust to your newfound fullness. You both groaned at the tight feeling of your walls squeezing his cock for dear life.

Your body quivered as he lifted your legs over his shoulders then leaned down to begin rocking into you. You hissed at the pinching feeling which slowly dissipated as your arousal coated his shaft. Each stroke was exaggerated as he pulled it out almost entirely then slammed back into you to the hilt. Your eyes rolled into your head at the waves of pleasure that governed your senses. You both struggled to control your moans and groans, too busy reveling in the feeling of being connected. You cupped his cheek as he kissed your lips tenderly. He moved back to get a better look at you as you lost yourself in his fucking you into the bed.

He suddenly groaned, a deep guttural sound that resonated with your core. “Fuck, Y/N. What are you doing to me…” The boy suddenly gripped your thighs and began bucking his hips into you with so much force you had to grip onto the bed sheets for leverage. You arched your back and curled your toes, the feeling of your orgasm making its way to the surface. “Come on baby, that’s it.” Hoseok talked you through your mind shattering orgasm, even as the feeling of your walls squeezing his dick out of you threatened to make him come undone as well.

He looked down where his cock took turns disappearing and reappearing. “Fuck, I’ll never get enough of this view.” He marveled at the way your cum had his dick glistening. He sped up the pace, chasing his own high and soon enough, he was spilling his seed into you. His hands grabbed handfuls of your flesh at the waist as he stilled inside of you, his eyes crinkled shut panting your name like a religious mantra.

You looked up at him, reveling in the afterglow of your climax. He plopped down beside you as you both caught your breaths. It had been such a long, taxing night that neither of you had the energy to talk anymore. You closed your eyes as your heartbeat slowed, rolling over to surrender to sleep. Before you allowed your drowsiness to take over, you felt Hobi shuffle out of the bed and around your room before exiting, no doubt to use the bathroom. You weren’t sure if you were right, but you thought you heard him sending a text message, a feeling of distrust clouding your judgement.

You opened your eyes to scan the room. You heard the door to the bathroom close, so you hurried to check his phone that was left on the nightstand. A text from “JK” had just come through, replying to whatever he had just sent him. You struggled to remember his passcode, eventually getting it right on the third try.

Your heartbeat quickened as you scrolled through their ongoing conversation, unable to believe your eyes. You started reading at Hobi’s reply after Jungkook asked him if you two were involved, and you wish you hadn’t.

When you heard the creak of the wood sound just outside your bedroom, you put his phone back where it was and rolled back over to pretend you were asleep. Hobi shut the light off then crawled back into bed with you, pulling you closer to him by the waist and humming as he settled in to sleep. You placed your hand over your chest, willing your heart to calm down before it gave you away.

Jungkook and Hoseok were running a bet on who you’d ultimately choose between them. The loser would have to buy the other a meal.

Soon his breathing evened out, causing you to shutter as you felt every rhythmic exhale on your shoulder. You felt sick to your stomach as you laid awake in Hobi’s arms all night. When morning came and he was gone, you phoned Mr.Kim to quit your job at the café.

#bts smut #bangtan smut #bangtan #bangtan boys #bts fanfiction #bts #hoseok angst #hoseok smut #jungkook smut #junghope #coffeehouse au #jungkook angst #jaime #j'aime #j'aime fanfic #jaime fanfic #baepop j'aime

328 notes · View notes

blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

Text

25. Not Fine, But Better

Word Count: 6239

Simon went to his father’s to recover. He was on an official break from school (hopefully, no longer than a year), and because of the nature of his injuries, was forced to move back home temporarily. His former employer was reluctant about giving him another position, though they worked out a few things for him to be involved in a freelance capacity, that way they were hiring him for certain projects, but not keeping him on their regular payroll. He planned to enroll in some online studies in the fall, and in the meantime, focused mainly on his ongoing project - the virtual reality social media.

A few things happened. Aside from regular visits to the doctor, because he was doing too much and reopened stitches, or for the extensive treatment that some of his more severe wounds were going to take, not to mention the healing of his spleen, which he was supposed to be taking extra care not to upset, but he was just so restless in bed and so anxious at the house, he kept getting up. The first night, he was content to lay down, primarily due to physical pain and exhaustion.

The trauma doctor had suggested not getting on a plane, which meant that Mr. Laurent would have to stay at Simon’s and take care of him… which meant to Simon that his father would be in his personal space, contaminating it and his thoughts of it AND, he would know where he lived. He absolutely rejected that notion and said that he would hire someone for in-home health… Then he thought about the upcoming legal fees of his fights, potential jail time, even, the way that he abandoned his job, and he decided that maybe he would just go back to the Bay with his dad, against the doctor’s suggestion, because that seemed to be the least agonizing solution for him.

Of course, he re-injured himself, and spent all day in an ER, to receive word that his treatment would take longer and was ordered to bed rest for the spleen healing. He laid down in his old bed, as uncomfortable as it was and fell to sleep almost immediately. Outside of the hospital, where the medication and immediate professional help were, his nightmares became blatantly strong. He kept dreaming of laying in a pool of his own blood, on the cold ground, looking at a manhole, ready to die… and then the Void came out of it, about to swallow him whole and everything went black. He jumped up and immediately held himself. Maybe he needed to be strapped to the bed, as to not hurt more. He took a deep breath and reached for the cane that he would need to walk for a bit… and there was a white cat, resting on his old desk.

“Samantha?” He looked around the room, wondering if this was another dream, about his teenage years or something. But, he came closer and touched the cat and she pleasantly allowed it. It abandoned the cane to pick up the animal and nuzzled her. “Is it really you or did that jackass go find another white cat?” He snuggled her and limped out of the room to go get some water. He froze whenever he got into the kitchen and both of his parents were sitting at the little table.

“Simon!” His mother said. She looked… different than he remembered. She looked younger, somehow, but extremely tired. She came over and tried to take Samantha from him, “Sorry. She must’ve snuck…” He jerked away and almost lost his footing.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Your dad said that you were here, so I stopped by and brought Samantha.”

He glared at her, “You’ve had Samantha this entire time?”

She chuckled and shrugged, “She’s MY cat, Simon. Whenever I was a little better, I stopped by and picked her up one day.”

“And you didn’t think to let me know? Leave a note? Nothing?? I thought she was dead!”

“You seem to be more upset about losing a cat than you’ve ever been about losing one of your family members,” she said. There she was. He knew that tone. He knew those eyes. She hadn’t changed. She was just better at seeming normal.

“Don’t,” his father warned her.

Simon kept Samantha in his clutches as he went to pour himself some water. “When are you leaving?”

The woman sat back down and looked at Mr. Laurent. “Your father thinks that you need us here. That us not being there for you is how you got to be this way.”

“What way is that, Faith?” he asked.

“Don’t,” his father warned the woman whose anger appeared to be rising, again.

“A little shit,” she hissed, despite the warning.

“Goddammit, Faith!” his father said. Simon snickered, wickedly. “Can’t you see that he’s just a hurt kid, acting out?” Now, Simon frowned.

He wanted to storm over and punch his father in the face. He’d done so before, whenever he was a teenager and his father was drunk and complaining about his stupid memorial or whatever. But, Simon was in too much pain to even walk straight, much less, fight. He started angry crying and muttered, “Fuck both of you,” before taking Samantha back into his room, shutting the door (which hurt his side to do) and climbing back into bed with her nestled against himself. “I can’t believe that bitch took you away from me.”

His mother was gone back to her mom’s by the time he got up again. He panicked whenever Samantha wasn’t there and rushed out of his room, clutching himself and neglecting the cane again to question his father about her whereabouts. Then, he heard her meow, excitedly, like she had something to tell him. Many things to tell him! He collected her and brought her back to his room. He kept her in there with him, scared that if she went outside, his mother might steal her again, even though his father assured him that it wouldn’t happen. “I won’t let her,” he had said. When the hell had he ever stopped her from doing anything?

He called “Dick for Brains” and asked if it was possible for him to use video conferencing to schedule an appointment. Dr. Richard was more than willing to accommodate this and seemed genuinely pleased that Simon had decided to try to resume therapy.

However, in their first session back, Simon babbled on about this idea that he had for work. Of course, the therapist was going to let him speak about what he wanted to. It was a huge thing for Simon to even seek out help without being forced, and he was uncharacteristically excited about something. “A VR that serves as experimental experience based therapy. The premise is that you would be able to take these pick your adventure journeys, but each of the decisions would have either rewards or consequences and every choice that you make would take you down certain paths, giving you certain training to deal with your problems and conditioning your decision making, even one day could grant you diagnosis based upon your choices and solutions to said diagnosis…”

“So… you want to replace actual therapy with a virtual reality video game?”

“NO! You do the therapy to help you get better at the game. It’s like… it goes with it… unless you’re not so bad off that you NEED therapy, and then it’s just a tool in character education…”

“Okay. That sounds interesting. How is that coming along for you?”

“Ugh. It’s shit. You know… I don’t have the best gauge for reasonable decisions. So, I’m trying to program a lot of things, but I’m depending on various algorithms, and the things that I need to be more specific about, well - I’ve been reading a lot of psychology stuff to sort of help me out. Also, Grace had SO MANY resources available in her featured links on her website…” Simon’s eyes glossed over whenever he started talking about Grace.

“How is your relationship with Grace, Simon?”

He gave a sad smile and shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t have a relationship with Grace. She gave me another chance at life and I told everyone about all the messed up stuff I did to her. We haven’t spoken or seen each other in the weeks that I’ve been out of the hospital.”

“I read about that. It was really big of both of you to make the decisions that you made…”

“This isn’t about Grace,” Simon said. He began typing on one of his other laptops. “I’m not going to do that this time, Dr. Richard. I’m trying to think about treatment, but in a way that appeals to people more like me. I’m not one to sit in a room and talk about my feelings. You know how much I hate that. I AM one to sit in MY room, for hours, playing the same computer video game for weeks. As a kid, I used to create these figures. I have a ton of them at home. More recently, I’ve done robots…” Simon sounded all over the place, but Dr. Richard didn’t interrupt him. “In most games, there is a specific goal, and people tend to think… This isn’t anything that I’m used to, but the principle is fine. I want people to be able to feel like they are walking into their own worlds, and that their adventures are things that they can navigate to practice existing in the world. To get things out of their system that they should never do here, or to give them options that their minds might not automatically compose! You’re a therapist… do you think this sounds stupid or crazy or… just impossible?”

“It sounds like you’re enjoying your work and exploring more empathetic aspects of your talents. This project could be extremely good for you.”

“Okay, yeah, sure. But… do you think it would work? Do you think it would help somebody?”

“Are you making this to help other people or to get better at helping yourself?”

“DO YOU THINK IT WOULD DO EITHER?”

“There’s not enough information for me to know if it will help other people, but I think it’s already helping you and that’s the most important thing that you need to focus on. Getting better, yourself.” That was all that Simon needed to become completely obsessed with his project.

So, what happened was that he began to work on it a lot and neglect certain things he needed to do during his recovery. His father had to remind him and sometimes try to physically force him to let him check his healing, cleaning wounds, and getting ready to go have bloodwork done, etc. He was extremely irritable whenever Mr. Laurent would interrupt his work. Whenever it was more pressing medical concerns, Simon got a call from Grace.

“Hey,” she’d say casually. He’d smile immediately when he heard her voice, then frown, because he knew it meant that his dad had bothered her.

“Grace… I don’t know WHAT he’s said this time, but you need to stop doing this. How does he manage to even get to call you anyway?”

“Hazel gave him her phone number for emergencies. That is now the backup phone. Had to get her another. She’s too damn friendly, but I’ll never discourage her. She’s gotta be herself, you know. Listen. So… I’m told that you need to have an angiography. I looked it up and sounds like you gotta do this thing, and yet… Your dad can’t get you to stop playing video games?”

“No! That’s not what’s happening at all! I’m working and he just barges in! Doesn’t even knock. He’s obnoxious.”

“Orrr… you’re tired of being on somebody else’s timetable, and that’s understandable, but whenever I was in the institution, I was constantly on a formatted schedule that I had no control over. It was one of the downsides of getting myself in there. One of your downsides of starting fights that get you stabbed is doing whatever you’ve gotta do when you’ve gotta do it to get better. I’m gonna be pissed if your dad calls Hazel again because you’re acting like a child.”

“It won’t happen again.”

“Thank you. Have a good day.”

That was the last time he was cantankerous with his dad about appointments. He just had to suck it up and go when it was time. He had to listen, because he knew Mr. Laurent wouldn’t hesitate to bother Grace, as unfair as that was. Simon was furious that his dad did this. He called it harassment. Mr. Laurent didn’t seem to mind, even when Simon yelled aggressively about how Grace was always the person picking up his pieces when they were kids and he’s coming to a better understanding of how unfair that was to both of them, plus he has Samantha back and he is guilty about imposing on Grace. He sent her a message asking her to promise not to come running again for his father calling but agrees for her sake that if a real emergency comes up that she’s welcome to check in on him. She never replied, so he didn’t know if it was sent and he didn’t want to keep bothering her in her inbox. So, the months passed and he did what his father needed him to do to get better. Whenever he was able, he travelled back home, taking Samantha with him.

He was working full time and enrolled back in school part time, at a less prestigious college, but one that was comfortable for him, at this point. He still got up to MIT to see Professor Hughes and talk engineering with her. She was impressed by how well he seemed to be doing, but she would never tell him that. And he never missed an appointment with his therapist, or his physician. For the most part, he recovered. There was a little lasting damage that he would have to deal with, such as multiple surgeries to correct various problems connected to disrupting the body’s normal with multiple stab wounds, but it was manageable and he was… feeling okay. Whenever he wasn’t, he had better ways of coping than before, most of the time. Every now and then, he’d definitely lose it and break things and rage… but… it wasn’t as frequent as it used to be, so he at least felt good about that much.

Plus, he got to see Grace be SO happy with Hazel online and he wasn’t blocked from everything, so anytime anyone tried to give her trouble about him, he was able to step in and take whatever blows that they tried to throw her way. That was another thing… He had been diligently sticking to the truth about her, no matter what people asked or how guilty, ashamed, weak, cowardly, or whatever else these things made him feel. He went onto shows and conducted interviews and made videos to counter any negative feedback that Grace had ever done anything wrong. “Besides being a neglected kid with some issues related to that, Grace was a really good friend and I was a bad friend to her. Turned out my neglect issues were much deeper and I made her suffer for that, but she shouldn’t have to anymore.”

Grace woke up with the sun most mornings. After she and Hazel returned to New York, it occurred to her that they had barely started living there before their little adventure in Mass. SO, they immediately made certain to try to start setting their routines and building their home style. Hazel’s room was the fanciest room she had ever had, excluding the chambers at the Monroe Estate. Grace let her have her own TV in her room, with a system that she had access to most of the apps, several games, and her favorite movies and shows. There was a housewarming plant that Grace’s friend had bought for Hazel whenever she moved in (and had to come over to look after whenever they were out), and that was in Hazel’s room, right by the window, for its sunshine.

Hazel had gotten to the point where she was no longer sure if she wanted to hold on to having a leaf in her hair, so Grace bought her some cute hair accessories that looked like leaves - hair clips, headbands and stuff… and if Hazel ever wanted to stop, she had options, to sort of keep with her tradition that was sort of a large part of the identity she had carved out for herself. Now, though, she had a changing identity.

She was Grace’s daughter and she didn’t know if keeping a leaf meant that she was holding on to a parent or parents that abandoned her when she had one who had fought to call her her own right in front of her. The last thing she wanted to do was possibly hurt Grace’s feelings, and she knew that Grace probably wouldn’t tell her if she did. She would just smile and make her feel good and meditate later or something. Hazel kept the hair leaf, for now.

The room had bookshelves with Hazel’s favorite books, toys, and keepsakes, her jewelry rack and a very large quartz crystal sphere that Grace bought her “for good energy” whenever she was at her last home. It sat on a little sphere holder and Hazel generally set her singing Tuba right near it, whenever she wasn’t carrying it with her or sleeping with it. There was a framed photo of the Monroe trio - her, Grace and GlamMother, on her wall, as well as a mirror with her name on a plaque against its expensive wood. All of the furniture was well made and personalized in some way.

For instance, her dresser had a cartoon stylized version of her smiling face on the sides and her name in lights across the top of the vanity. The colors of the room were hazel, ivory and green, and her headboard had a turtle magnificently carved into it. Grace got her the same type of products that she purchased herself. She still used the same natural beauty brands that she swore by as an influencer (and recently was reconnected with many of them) including a rebirth campaign for her own line of products. It really was like rebirth, but this time, she was living on her own conditions. She also was building for her daughter, as well, but in a different way than what her mother did. She would always ask Hazel her opinion of things, what she wanted to do, if she liked or approved of certain things that she wanted to do for her. The emblem on Grace’s products would be from a drawing that Hazel did of Grace as a tree, sitting in a lotus position, her hair as the leaves and Hazel falling from the tree into her outstretched arms. It was a pretty good drawing for a 10 year old, and Grace wanted it to stay just as it was for their emblem.

Grace made meal prep for if Hazel had turtle days. Half the time, Grace wound up throwing the greens into a smoothie, because Hazel was fine for the most part. But, she would keep up this practice of being prepared for a long time.

She generally saw Hazel off to school herself, instead of putting her into a car with a driver or getting her to learn public transportation like she often saw kids doing while she was out and about in the city for her first few years. She wanted Hazel to be as protected and seen as she could without being that over sheltering type of mom that she sometimes felt like she was probably being. But, Hazel liked the attention. It was nice to have somebody always having her back and ensuring her safety. It was nice always having someone waiting for you when you step out into the world, to guide you back home.

They’d had most of the summer to settle in and the new school year was Hazel’s favorite EVER. She was finally going to be somewhere that she was getting herself to believe wouldn’t be temporary… she might actually make friends! She met a couple of people that were really cool the first week - Lucy and Lindsay. They knew each other from before, but Lindsay had recognized her from the internet and invited her to sit with them at lunch. Lucy wasn’t allowed to get onto the internet, but Hazel noticed that she had a Tuba watch and they admitted that they both still watched/loved The Mighty Tuba and Her Musical Friends. Lindsay made fun of both of them, but it was in that way where Hazel could tell that she still liked them and was gonna be their friend. Hazel LOVED it and asked if she could invite them over soon for a tea party.

Of course she could. Grace rarely told Hazel no. If it was doable, safe, and harmed nobody, she didn’t see any reason to refuse her things that she was interested in. Plus, Mrs. Monroe had bought a very expensive tea party set for the girl that Grace had to get assembled on the balcony, because she had no idea where to put it in her place… which meant that the balcony basically belonged to Hazel’s tea set. Getting that woman to understand that her space in New York is nothing like the space that they had in California was almost impossible. Her mother couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t just seek out a bigger place. Like… just because I have my own money, I have to like… spend it like that?

But, Hazel began having her tea parties the second week of school. Mrs. Monroe wanted them to come to visit the weekend of the 23rd of August. “Mom. We’ve only been gone a couple of months. I told you that Hazel and I aren’t going to be coming back and forth like this.”

“I’m thinking if you catch a flight in the evening on Wednesday, Hazel won’t have to miss school that day. But, you definitely need to be here by Thursday evening’s dinner.”

“Ugh. Mom.”

“Grace, this is important.”

She sighed. “Fine. But you aren’t seeing us again before Christmas break. Hazel has limited days off and I have things planned for my 23rd.”

“Yes, well… Julia or Gabriel, or whatever the hell this assistant’s name is will send you the list of things you need to pack.”

“Why would I need to pack things?”

“We’re going to take you to Belize, since you won’t be here for your birthday.”

“Ugh… I wish I could argue with a free trip to Belize… okay, fine. Tell ADRIENNE to send me the information.”

“Adrienne? That doesn’t sound right… oh, really? Huh. She says that is indeed her name. Well, she’s sending it. We’ll see you soon.”

Grace hung up and stretched, sputtered air through her lips and peeked out at the girls at their tea parties, with their hats and some of Grace’s good tea. “Hey, Haze… GlamMother wants to see us next week, so I’ll be packing our stuff and I’ll email the school to get your work for Thursday and Friday in advance so we can turn it in on Wednesday.”

“Yes, Mother,” Hazel said in her tea party voice. “Will we be seeing Mr. Laurent and his Sad Sorry Son Simon when we go to California?”

“I’m not planning on it. Just giving you a heads up.” The three girls raised their teacups to Grace and she smiled and went back inside to pack. Simon was back in Cambridge, as far as she knew. She had seen him around online, but never hovered, so she couldn’t be sure. But… that week was the week of his birthday. She wondered if her mother had remembered that information, or if her body was simply falling back on old habits of the season by wanting to do something around this time of year. It was a very random time to Grace for them to just want to go to Belize… though, usually Simon’s birthday was paired up with hers. The significance of his actual birth date would only matter to Grace, not her parents, as the things that they did typically occurred AFTER August 22nd. Grace shook her head and opened the email of things to pack, so that she could prepare early.

The Monroes had some guests, Grace could tell. Not a lot, so she wondered if this was like some politician’s immediate family or what, and she resigned herself to the thought that if for one little second her mom even tried to give her hell about taking a flight today, instead of last night (to come in all late in the night and throw off hers AND Hazel’s sleep schedule), she would take her ass right on to her old bedroom and wait for the call to go to Belize. She didn’t play that mess with her mom anymore. Hazel ran to the door and tiptoed a little to use the knocker. There was a doorbell, but something about that fancy old knocker always intrigued her.

A butler opened the door and tried to take Grace’s bags, but she struggled with him, knowing that she could do it herself. “If you won’t let him, let me,” she heard a familiar voice say. Simon. She froze. He was standing. Obviously in good enough health. He was smiling, but it became worried when she stared at him. He put his hands up and she noted that he was in some type of… weird coat draped over his arms, instead of wearing it, that she could see the top of his apology tattoos, and that his parents were at the table with hers.

Her mother got up and rushed over, “Don’t be silly! It’s his job.” She collected Hazel into a tight hug and Grace still stood there, in the open door as Hazel rushed to the table, hand in hand with her grandmother, to pass hugs around. “Surprise!” Mrs. Monroe cheered. “It’s Simon’s birthday dinner… and a therapy idea thing…”

“Therapy told you to surprise me by bringing me here, with these people, under the guise of a free trip to Belize?” Grace asked, very much not okay with this.

“No. We’re having a sit down, between all of us, as adults, to settle everything once and for all. There’s cake!”

Hazel cheered, “Yayyy! Cake!”

Mrs. Monroe sighed and folded her arms, “My God, Grace, we really ARE going to Belize. Just sit down and enjoy dinner.” Grace pouted her way over to the seat next to Hazel. Simon returned to the one next to that one. His parents were across the table from them, and Mr. and Mrs. Monroe were on the opposite ends.

“This is messed up,” Grace muttered.

“All of us are messed up,” Mr. Monroe said. “It took a while for us to realize it. We spoke a few times when Simon was in the hospital, and we thought that eventually, both of you needed apologies from us and attempts for us to do better. Now, Grace… you had some things to say to Mr. Laurent the last time you were together…”

“I said it all. Nice to finally meet you, though,” she said to Mrs. Laurent, and her tone indicated that it wasn’t nice to meet her at all. Simon reached out and rubbed Grace on the back. She smiled a little at him, then looked confused and wondered why they were acting like nothing had ever happened. Then again, they had “gotten over” what did happen, and she guessed she was kinda touch starved, because it was nice to get physical comfort from somebody that wasn’t Hazel, for a change.

“Simon had many things to say to his parents before you arrived, too. Now that we’re all here, really… say whatever is on all of your minds. Simon… you’ve been sulking for two hours, but whenever Grace walked in, you immediately brightened up.” Simon blushed as Mr. Monroe made this extremely embarrassing announcement. Hazel cackled about it and ate a mouthful of potatoes.

Simon shook his head, “I’m not sure what you mean by saying this, Mr. Monroe.”

“Just that we never really discussed the night that you came back into our lives, wanting to see Grace and apologize… You didn’t actually apologize until a while later and… we’re all curious about the journeys it took to get from where you were to…”

“No, Dad.�� Grace shook her head. “No. Simon and I used to be best friends. I loved him. There was nobody in the world more important to me. When we broke, I broke. You don’t get to just have reflection on what led us all here, to possible health and contentment. Just… No. Where is the cake? I’m having some on the terrace. You want in, Si?” His eyes widened and he got up to follow her. The butler was bringing out the cake, and she took the whole tray. “Momma’s got you, Haze,” she said without breaking her stride. She went outside and Simon smiled as she set the cake down. “Cut my baby a piece of cake. I’ll get her dish.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Grace rolled her eyes at everybody in the room, grabbed Hazel’s desert plate and the bottle of wine from the table. She went back out and Simon was ready with Hazel’s slice. Whenever Grace gave it to her, she said, “I’ll be right out there if you need me.” Grace was… tired. She had been on a long flight, and to be faced with the Laurents AND her parents? And to have them acting like this was just okay to spring on someone? “They’re still messing up, but I guess at least they’re trying,” she glanced around. “I didn’t get glasses.” She frowned.

“S’ok. I don’t drink.”

She smiled and said, “Neither do I, but remember whenever we were 14 and we said that we’d have our first drink together?”

“Yeah. We said on your 21st birthday.” He smiled and she felt warm in his gaze. She set the bottle down. “At any rate, they don’t need any wine. They’re being weird enough.”

“RIGHT?” Grace and Simon laughed awkwardly. “To be honest, I think that they realized that the only way to get me here was to hide their intentions from me. I wouldn’t have showed up if they had told me that they wanted to have dinner with your family.”

“Funny… I wouldn’t have come if they hadn’t told me, “Grace will be here for your birthday,” Simon admitted and leaned on the balcony rail. “All I wanted was to see you again. It’s all I could think about all month.”

“You’ve known about this all month? My mom called me last week!” She leaned next to him, her back against the rail, so that she could keep an eye on Hazel. For a moment, she had a flashback of the last time that they were out here together. The pain stung, but there was a numbness there… like that part of her that hurt was more like a limb that fell to sleep. “Hazel is the same age as we were when we met. I’ve been so paranoid about her running into trouble because I’m not present enough…”

“Is that what you think us meeting was? You running into trouble?” Simon asked. He didn’t seem offended, like he might have normally been. Just… curious.

“Don’t you think so? For both of us…”

He frowned and looked out at the Monroe yard. “I think that the people who messed up the most are all surrounding your kid right now.”

“She loves them, though. I want her to have a good relationship with them. Not just because I didn’t, but because they’re the only grandparents she has.”

“Yeah, well… at the moment, MY parents are there too…” Grace stood up and folded her arms, looking at Hazel. Her parents had arranged for her and Simon to have their first joint birthday celebration since they were 16, and even arranged a sit down with the Laurents about everything that went wrong… Simon was also thinking about how messed up this was, because he added to her thoughts, “I feel weird about our parents finally talking, when we ourselves have finally gotten to good places in our lives and development.”

“I think it’s… A good thing, but just for them. For me… I think that the best thing has been that I survived. I thought that I was gonna die after everything. Nothing felt real. My whole life was just staring into nothingness and crying. I really did become the void…”

“No. You were NEVER that!” Simon said, putting his hand on her shoulder. “You always mattered. I was just too toxic to see that. The best thing for me has been that I realized how wrong I was…” Grace threw her arms around his neck and Simon relaxed in her arms and held her close. Every time was like the first time, but this was DIFFERENT different. This was the first hug that they had in some time and maybe even the first genuine one that they’ve had. Simon was caught up in his emotions, but quickly tried to keep them in check, “Wanna grab the kid and get outta here?” Simon asked, looking at her. They were still in the hug, but let some space in between their bodies.

Grace chuckled, “I mean… you know that my perfect birthday celebration is lowkey, with the closest people to me, some dogs and a walk around the creek. But, it’s not MY birthday.”

Simon turned and leaned back on the terrace this time, “If I had just done that with you for our 16th, things could have gone very differently.”

“I think things would have eventually gone wrong anyway. We were both… beyond our own help. You seem fine now, though.”

“I’m not fine, but I’m better.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Grab the cake, I’ll grab the kid,” she said with a smile. Simon obeyed, as she went inside and he followed. “Haze, grab your bag. We’re headed out.

“Headed out?” Mrs. Monroe asked. “To where?”

“Simon and I are taking Hazel to our old stomping grounds.” Hazel jumped up excited. All four of the parents exchanged worried looks, which Grace ignored and put an arm around Hazel to guide her towards the door. “Hopefully… the rest of you will get whatever you need out of… this…” They checked out early, giving their parents time to sort through their guilt.

The trio left the mansion, all three laughing and talking. Hazel about how she had heard so much about their adventures, though Simon was certain she only heard the sweet and not the… other stuff. He was just glad that Grace was willing to spend time with him again. It was the best birthday present he could’ve gotten. He didn’t deserve it, but he was going to be grateful.

Neither Simon or Grace had revisited much of their old places, so they wound up spending time well into the night taking Hazel to their childhood spots from when they were her age. Eventually she got so sleepy that she dozed off on the train and Simon had to carry her around. Grace told him that she could do it (she was pretty practiced in it and Hazel was a tall 10), with Simon still technically being in recovery for his injuries, but she guessed that his pride was still stubborn, because he insisted.

They caught a cab back to the mansion, he put Hazel to bed, and Grace offered to walk him out. “Your parents have us in the guest house,” he said.

“Excuse you?”

“We’re going to Belize… They didn’t tell you that EITHER?”

“What’re they trying to do? Get us back together??” She joked.

He laughed, “Like you’d ever do that. You didn’t want me the first time.”

“That’s not true. I actually liked you way more than you liked me, because my feelings were selfless and pure.” He stared at his hands and nodded. She sat down in front of the front door and he sat next to her. “I wasn’t kidding whenever I’d say that I had the perfect relationship already, or whatever the hell I said that day. I can’t remember word for word, but I remember that all the words were true.”

“Yeah… If only I had been better.”

“Well… You said earlier that you’re better now.”

“Yeah…” He turned to look at her and she smiled and took his hand into hers.

“We don’t have to talk about it. We can just live in it,” she said. That was always how she had been about them. No questions or comments about their feelings for each other, titles, etc. They were together and enjoying each other’s company again. The rest of the details were background noise. No things were not fine, and she didn’t know if things would ever be fine between them, considering the stuff that happened back then. But… things were better.

#If They Didn't Get on the Train #AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics

11 notes · View notes

otome0heart · 4 years

Text

[Fanfic] MLQC - Precious Bonds (Victor)

Finally, I finished writing my first MLQC story ^^ I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time, but I had a very “pretty“ writer’s block added to some lack of motivation and the break I took from otome games. It’s taken me a month to write it, but I feel really accomplished. I really hope you like it ^^

Title: Precious Bonds

Genre: Angsty Fluff (I think)

Words: 3559

Notes: I’m still in ch. 10, and it’s a future fic so there might be something inaccurate. I write in 3rd person but I don’t use my OC, I hope that doesn’t bother you when reading ^^ Also, English isn’t my mother tongue so if you spot any mistakes, please, tell me and I’ll correct them.

PRECIOUS BONDS

As he took the key of his house from his pocket, Victor hesitated to introduce it in the lock for a moment, his lips pressing in a thin line. For a moment, he wondered what awaited him once he crossed the household. Things had not been fine when he had left and for the first time in life, he was unsure of the outcome. However, not being a man who dwelled into that type of sentiment, he dismissed the thought with a blink and a tired sigh and, unlocking the door, he opened it.

Darkness and silence greeted him, as he had expected. Night had just fallen and his wife was probably working at her company or supervising the filming of a project personally. However, as he turned to close and leave the key in its usual place, his heart missed a beat upon seeing her set hanging from its hook, the big round keychain in the shape of a dog returning his gaze with happy eyes. She had bought him a cat which hung next to hers and that he had refused to attach to his keys. In no way was he going to be seen in the office with such… thing. He furrowed his brows and scanned the hall once again, not finding any trace of her presence in the house. He called her name, but there was no answer. He breathed deeply, clenching his jaw for a moment. Even after thirteen days, she was still probably upset.

How childish.

Just before leaving for a business trip in Europe, he and his wife had had an argument he could not remember how it had started anymore, but the hurtful words that they had thrown at each other still lingered in the air and in his mind. Yet, up to that moment, none of them had taken the first step to mend things. In the beginning, he had decided to let things cool before calling her, trusting Goldman with the mission of letting her know they had arrived at their destination safely. However, he had got very busy with meetings and negotiations immediately after, and the different time zones made communication difficult.

Goldman had kept him informed of her movements, and that had served to placate his conscience, as in a way, he had been looking out for her; but his assistant’s latest news had made him finish matters a day earlier and rush back home. She had visited a clinic and had some tests run after not feeling well at work. No matter how stupid or heated their fight had been, if she was sick, he wanted to be by her side and take care of her.

He took off his coat and scarf and hung them in the wardrobe by the entrance and then, he picked up his suitcase and crossed the hall and the wide living room towards the staircase. He needed a shower and some time to think.

As he opened the door of their bedroom, he stilled at the door upon the sight that greeted him. His wife was lying on their bed, dressed in one of her nightgowns and covered up to her waist, her eyes closed and her breath even. His heart immediately filled with anxiety seeing her so apparently fragile, devoided of all the energy that characterised her. However, a small spark of tenderness mixed with his worry. She was facing his side of the bed, her cheek on the edge of his pillow and her arms stretched as if she was searching for him in her sleep.

He took off his jacket and his tie, leaving them on the chair by her vanity, and undid the first buttons of his shirt, never taking his eyes off the scene in front of him. Delicately, he sat on the bed, absorbing every little detail he could in the light of the lamp on his bedside table. A knot formed in his throat as his eyes wandered over the dark circles under her eyes, the paleness of her skin and the signs of weight loss in her sharper jaw and cheeks. He sighed as he lifted a hand and with extreme care, caressed her face.

He had missed her so much during those weeks, even more than during longer trips. Not listening to her voice on the phone or seeing her on a video call after arriving at the hotel or while he was getting ready in the morning, going to bed with the image of her upset expression as she sniffled and brushed a tear away carved in his mind and not being able to reach out to hold her to him, made him feel extremely lonely. Only the conviction of doing his work to get the best results had made him stay.

However, if she had received him with a scowl marring her beautiful features, it would have been less painful than seeing her so vulnerable. He did not know what illness she had but if she did not recover in one or two days, he would look for the best doctors wherever they were.

She moved her head slightly, leaning into his touch with a soft sigh escaping her lips, one of her hands moving to rest on his pillow, and guilt gripped his heart and his conscience. How many times she had told him that he had to set his pride aside and express his emotions… In the end, that same pride had hurt the person he wanted to protect the most. He breathed deeply. However, he was determined to make things right again. He still did not know how, as he was not used to asking for forgiveness, but for the moment, he would change into his nightclothes and get into bed with her so she would not be alone in her dreams anymore.

With a last caress, he stood up as carefully as he had sat down with the intention of taking a quick shower.

“Victor…?”

He paused in mid-step as her voice called his name in a mixture of confusion and drowsiness, accompanied by the rustle of fabric. He turned slowly, taking into the sight of his wife sitting in bed leaning on one arm, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

She, then, looked at him as a slight smile graced her lips.

“I thought your trip would last for one more day” she put a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I probably misheard Goldman…” a soft blush dusted her cheeks. “I’d have been ready to receive you.”

Victor stayed silent for a moment. Sudden as it was, his opportunity to do the correct thing had come and he had to choose his words carefully to avoid her misinterpreting them.

“Business finished unexpectedly early” she nodded lightly, and he tried to soften the tone of his voice for his next remark. “I didn’t expect to find you here, are you alright?”

The young woman had ducked her head slightly, as a child expecting a reprimand and harsh words, but then, she regarded him with surprise, hearing the worry in his voice.

“I… wasn’t feeling well, so Anna sent me home.”

He approached the bed again, looking at her before one of his hands rested on her forehead.

“You don’t have a temperature.”

She shook her head, inwardly enjoying the lingering touch of his fingers before they fell back to rest next to his thigh. She shifted to a kneeling position and her features adopted a serious air, and Victor swallowed, seeing the determination in her pupils, although her nervousness was also obvious by the way she fisted her hands on her lap.

“Victor, I… I want…” she clenched her jaw at her stuttering and then, breathed deeply. “I think we need to talk about what happened before your trip.”

Something in the way that she had straightened her shoulders and her formal posture made him cautious. It was true that their fight had been bitter and that they had spent almost two weeks without talking to each other but he did not think that was a reason to approach the matter so ceremoniously. They were husband and wife, after all, and that was the most intimate bond people could have. Besides, it had not been the first argument they had had since they had met, and surely it would not be the last.

“I know.”

“Good” the young woman nodded, relieved upon seeing him willing to speak, knowing how much he disliked talking about his feelings, and so, aware that she would have to be the one to start, she continued. “I’ve been thinking about us while you were away, why we were so unreasonable, why none of us took the step to call the other…”

He crossed his arms on his chest, listening carefully, waiting for her to finish her reasoning.

“And then, in the middle of all that, something happened…” she took an envelope from under his pillow and showed it to him. “I know it’s completely unexpected, and it’s going to be a turning point in our lives, but…”

His heart thundered in his chest, painfully swelling and making breathing difficult, and his mind raced, with wild ideas about her hurting because of their fight and his silence, someone taking advantage and rekindling a flame, divorce… He furrowed his brows, distressed. Sometimes, he wished he could stop his thoughts like he stopped time.

“Victor…? Are you okay?”

Her voice sounded so far… He could see her confused gaze, her mouth slightly open, moving as she talked, but all he heard was his own words refusing to let her walk out of his life.

However, all that only lasted a moment, and suddenly he was conscious of his hand and his mouth rejecting the envelope harshly, letting his pride talk for him again.

Just the opposite of what he wanted.

However, with a strength he did not know she possessed, his wife pushed the envelope to him, pressing it against his chest. Her lips were pressed in a thin line and her eyes, filled with tears, met his.

“Take it.”

He was taken aback by the fierce tone she had used and his frown deepened. However, not wanting to anger her anymore if she was ill, he decided to let her win that battle. Silently, as words formed in his mind to refute her wish to divorce him, he opened the envelope, unfolding the papers inside with an expert flick of his wrist.

However, his eyes widened as they fell on the letterhead which was not from the City Hall, and the small square piece of paper, similar to a picture that was stapled to the report, a granulated mixture of greys except for a black shape in the middle which contained something small with the shape of what looked like a peanut. However, he knew what it was immediately and his heart skipped a beat.

He lifted his head from the report, his sight falling on his wife, who was still sitting on her knees, waiting for his reaction. Her eyes shone with expectation and excitement, and hidden behind them, a spark of insecurity. It was truly an unexpected event, something they had not even talked about but, as she had said, it would change their lives forever. A change he discovered he was more than willing to accept.

The papers fell from his hand as he took her in his arms. Her soft perfume surrounded him as he felt her arms circle his waist tightly.

“I was so worried…” he murmured into her hair, combing her tresses with his fingers.

She lifted her eyes to him, tilting her head.

“Is that why you’re here a day earlier?” the curve of his lips as he pressed them slightly told her the answer, and she frowned delicately. “But how…?”

“Goldman told me you had visited a medical clinic, so I rushed everything and came back as soon as the last meeting finished.”

She stared at him, taking in all the little details which had gone unnoticed to her before, distracted by her excitement. His normally impeccable shirt was rumpled, the slight line between his brows was more pronounced and his eyes were a little bloodshot, dark circles showing under them. All that talked of concern and restless sleep. A small sad smile graced her lips as she lifted one of her hands to smooth the wrinkle in his frown.

“I’m sorry…” she murmured as she slid her fingers along his cheek. “I was anxious about the delayed project and I just vented my frustration on you-”

He shook his head, leaning his forehead to hers.

“I was at fault too. There had been a last-minute problem with one of the most important meetings and I was irked at the incompetence shown by the other party. I should have called you as soon as I got there instead of leaving the matter to Goldman.”

Her smile widened as her pupils sparked with amusement.

“I think we need to keep on working on our communication skills as a couple” his lips turned up in a gesture less exultant than hers but filled with gentleness.

“You’re right…” his mouth twitched in a smirk. “We can’t afford to have two idiots in this marriage. We’d be doomed.

She half-closed her eyes for a second, feigning more annoyance than she truly felt.

“So, you consider yourself an idiot right now?”

“I do” his mauve eyes hardened. “I hate wasting time and I’ve done exactly that not talking to you. You were worried about your work and your health and I left you alone.”

“Stop being so hard on yourself, Victor” her other hand cupped his face, making him look straight at her. “I was also angry, I could have called too… Both of us were stubborn in this, okay?”

He nodded, making a soft sound; then, he breathed, lowering his lids slightly, and she felt his jaw relax under her palms.

“So?” he looked at her again. “Five weeks?”

She nodded happily and it floated in his mind a certain night after the exclusive financial party that they had attended together for the first time, when she had been so excited that she could not sleep and he had kept her company despite his tiredness. Under the covers, he had listened to her as she rambled cheerfully about the people she had met and the opportunities that those connections would bring to her company, thanking him for taking her there. He had enjoyed seeing her wide smile and sparkling eyes, knowing he was partly the cause of them. As the night passed by, they had talked about ordinary things, shared confidences, soft caresses and kisses, lost in their own world.

And when the sun had started to rise, it had surprised them embracing tightly and drowning in each other’s gaze, their hearts overflowing with feelings as they fell in love once again, their lovemaking slow and filled with tenderness. That morning, both of them had forgotten about everything, just sharing their souls in silence and basking in the warmth of their entwined bodies. By the lovely shade of colour that covered his wife’s cheeks, she remembered it too. And it seemed that that day, they had also unknowingly created another precious bond between them that would add even more joy to their lives.

“And how are you feeling?”

“Mostly tired, and a bit lightheaded. I had to sit for a while twice this afternoon and Anna decided to send me home despite my protests” she pouted a bit. “I still think that she was just overreacting, I could have done more at work.”

“However, I agree with her” Victor made a mental note to send his wife’s partner a token of thanks the following day. “You were deeply asleep when I arrived.”

“I was bored and there wasn’t anything interesting on television, so I decided to take a little nap.”

“In bed and wearing your nightgown…”

“It was more comfortable” she pursed her lips again and he smiled.

After a pause, he started asking questions again.

“What about morning sickness? You didn’t tell me anything about it when I was here.”

“We were very busy and most days we didn’t have breakfast together… It was hard, especially when we were rushing to meet the deadline for the project so I thought it was the stress. Since then, things have been less frantic and it’s very mild now.”

He made a soft sound of acknowledgement, adopting a pensive look.

“Then, I’ll have to make adjustments to your diet” he had to suppress his laughter when he saw her sulking. “I’ll make you a lunchbox every day, and…” he paused for a moment, thinking. “Tell me all about your food aversions and cravings.”

Her expression changed in an instant, her pupils shining with delight.

“I want pudding!”

His eyes widened in surprise at her outburst but that only lasted a second, knowing her fascination for food, especially the one he made.

“Now?”

She nodded enthusiastically and that time, Victor could not hold his laughter. It was a brief chuckle, but filled with mirth, and her features softened as she finally felt that her husband was his true self again.

“I missed your voice so much…” her hands slid around his neck as her whole face glowed with happiness.

“So did I” his arms tightened around her waist, though careful not to use much strength, and then, a slightly mischievous smirk played on his mouth. “And also, I missed my goodbye kiss.”

She only had time for a giggle before his lips covered hers. It was sweet and chaste, the brush of a gentle spring breeze against her skin, and she felt her heart flutter like a little bird in her chest, warmth making her body awaken, melting the cold that had set somewhere in her soul without her realising.

It was brief too, like the kisses they shared when he went on business trips or she had to travel to different locations for filming. They did not like delaying the moment of their separation neither filling their hearts with a longing that could distract them from their duties.

Their lips barely brushing, they gazed into each other’s eyes lovingly, finally free of regrets. He was back now and it was time to face a new beginning.

The second kiss, full of passionate tenderness, told him that there was no other home for him but her arms, There, there was only one Victor, the devoted husband in love with his wife since forever. The wound of their fight progressively faded as he sank deeper and deeper in her embrace and her mouth, her taste the most exquisite delicacy he had ever tried; her pure love for him strong enough to wash away all his exhaustion and worry.

They parted a while later, trying to regain their breaths. Victor pressed a kiss to her forehead and her temple, nuzzling her hair and inhaling her scent, and she hid her face in the curve of his neck, whispering words of welcoming against his skin, which only stirred the fire of desire in his blood even more. However, he knew nothing about pregnancy and the sole thought that his touch could hurt her or the baby filled his body and mind with unease, stopping him from seeking the warmth that surely awaited him in her embrace. He breathed deeply, clenching his jaw and swallowing hard.

“Let’s get you that pudding” he murmured when he felt calmer.

Her cheeks were still flushed when she lifted her head to look at him, wondering if he was serious.

“But, shouldn’t you relax this evening? I’m sure you must be tired after such a long journey.”

Concern shone in her pupils mixed with confusion and disappointment that he was sure matched his own. Feeling the sudden need to soothe her worry, he cupped her cheeks and kissed her once again, slowly and deeply, taking his time to tell her without words that he wanted her more than anyone or anything. She seemed to understand, since her hands came to rest on his arms, not trying to pull him to her.

He smiled against her lips, lingering just a moment before separating from her, remembering her words about their need for better communication. It was obvious by her content expression that she had figured a bit about his reasons for not continuing what they had started, but maybe, it was not a bad occasion to start working on that. Even though he did not like talking about his feelings, he had realised that sometimes, it was necessary.

“I can do that later, when you’ve filled your stomach” he lifted her in his arms and she yelped, wrapping her arms around his neck. “However, don’t get used to this. I’m not going to spoil you for eight months.”

She laughed and swang her legs playfully, like a little girl, as he started making their way to the kitchen.

“Then, I’ll get what I can while it lasts.”

THE END

#otome games #mr. love queen's choice #mlqc #fanfic #mlqc victor #li zeyan

93 notes · View notes

imaginesandsmut · 5 years

Text

He Wishes He Was With You Pt.2

Words: 1726

Pairing: Stiles x reader

Warnings: Little bit of some steamy action. cutie stiles.

Writers Note: this is a part 2. hope y'all enjoy it! xoxo

“Do you remember everything?.....The time when Void came to my house? Do you remember anything from that moment?”

“Yes, I do”.

-----------------------------------------------

When Stiles Stilinski first saw Y/N Y/L, he was in love. Yes, he was in kindergarten at the time but it still counts. Her little piggy tails and bright yellow dress captured his eye but when the kindergarten bully stole the big firetruck from Stiles and Y/N stole it back for him, he knew that she was going to be his future wife.

Stiles didn’t know how to control his emotions though. His mum told him to try and talk to her but when she cried because he screamed ‘hello’ at her face in the morning, he tried taking a different approach. His dad said to give her flowers but Y/N defiantly did not appreciate the mud that dripped from the flowers on her new shirt. So, of course, the only way he could show his love for her was by throwing a basketball at her head.

This then caused her to hate him for months on end until her birthday when he gave her a giant remote control dinosaur because he discovered her love for dinosaurs.

Scott always knew how the two felt about each other, he worked out by watching the two. He noticed that Stiles was projecting his supressed emotions towards Y/N onto Lydia, and how Y/N just stared at Stiles in every class they had together.

When Void took over, Stiles was trapped. It was like he was a character in a video game, he was making the movements and interactions but it wasn’t willingly, he was being controlled. When Void snuck into Y/N’s house, Stiles was doing everything in his power to gain some control and turn the ship around. He screamed and yelled to try and make Void get annoyed and leave but it only encouraged him further. When Void kissed Y/N, Stiles wanted to kill him. Stiles never really felt pure anger until that moment and that obviously made Void want to take it further. Thank god she pushed away cause he couldn’t handle the fact that he’s kissing you but it wasn’t purely him. His anger was also the reason why Void walked away, because Void had all the jealousy, anger, greed and hatred he needed to power himself.

So now here they were, sitting in Stiles’ car in silence, staring straight ahead. Not one of them knew what to say, or how to convey what they were feeling. Stiles wanted to tell Y/N he loves her but what if she didn’t feel the same and was actually uncomfortable about everything that happened when Void came.

“And?” Y/N spoke up.

“Are you okay? With everything that happened? I’m so sorry he….that I…. hurt you” Stiles wanted to make sure she was okay, that she wasn’t hurt. Stiles always checked to make sure Y/N was okay, he couldn’t live with himself if he caused her harm.

Y/N turned to face Stiles, causing him to look at her too. God, she is beautiful.

“Stiles, that wasn’t you. You would never hurt our friends like that. I know that the Stiles I met in kindergarten would never hurt me like that,” Y/N looked down at her hands and spoke in a softer voice, “it was just hard, knowing he was lying about what he was saying. It was confusing.”

Now it was time for Stiles to ask questions.

“What do you mean ‘it was hard, knowing he was lying’?”

“well, you know,” she looked up at him, trying to get him to understand without saying it. “like….come on.” She laughed a little out of uncomfortableness.

“You think he was lying about what he was saying?” Stiles sounded shocked.

“Yeah.”

“Y/N, why would he lie? Everything he said was to gauge an emotion from the both of us. I tried so hard to keep every memory and feeling I have of you away from him, just so he couldn’t hurt you. Spending days not being able to think of you so I could keep you safe was basically torture, Y/N. And, of course he was gonna dig deep and tell you that I love you. Cause I do and that is the strongest emotion I have within me, my love for you”

Silence.

Stiles widened his eyes at the outburst and what he said. Y/N mirrored his actions and sat back in her seat, looking straight ahead again.

“ugh fuck.” Stiles leaned back in the seat and rubbed his face.

“So, you love me?” Y/N asked as if he never even said it.

“It’s hard for me to even comprehend how much I love you, Y/N. I don’t even know how to express it or what to do, that’s probably why I kept it to myself for a long time. And because I didn’t want to lose my connection with you.”

“well, now you can try and express it because I love you too.” She giggled, trying to make the tension lighter.

Stiles’ heart was beating hard and fast. Should he kiss her? Should he walk her back inside and give her the day to recover? Should they go on a date right now?

Stiles decided to take a different approach and slowly crept his hand from its place on his lap and rested on Y/N’s knee. Her breath hitched and she settled down lower in her seat, rolling her head to the side to watch him. With his face still forward, Stiles dragged his hand up higher onto her thigh, until it was at a height that was too high for friends but still low enough for nothing to really happen.

They were walking on the boarder. Even though they just confessed their love for each other, they both were nervous to go forward. They wanted it so bad but didn’t know if the other was ready.

Y/N’s breathing was heavy as she looked at his profile, she needed to do something so he can know that this was okay. She rested her elbow on the console, lifted herself up, placed her head on his shoulder and kissed his jaw. This caused Stiles to tighten his hold on her leg.

Y/N got confidence from this small reaction and started placing open mouthed kisses on Stiles’ neck. His hand was gripping and releasing her thigh, unknowingly building up the tension in her lower part. Y/N decided to take initiative and climbed over the console, turned to face stiles and sat down on his lap.

They both looked at each other, waiting.

“fuck it.” Stiles groaned, grabbed Y/N’s neck and smashed their lips together. It was like someone flicked a switch and it became all hands and tongue. The two of them fought for dominance but Stiles won when he squeezed her butt and she let out a small moan. Y/N started to grind on Stiles which caused him to let out a groan, allowing Y/N to break away and kiss his neck again.

They kissed for so long they seemed to forget where they were. Things were about to be taken to the next level when someone started knocking on the window of the jeep. Y/N broke away from their heated kiss with flushed cheeks and looked at Stiles’ messy hair. The knocking continued as did Stiles’ frustration, the foggy window didn’t give them an indication as to who it was.

Y/N got an idea and a small smile creeped up on her face.

“I see that smile, Y/N. Don’t even think about it.” Stiles already knew what she was gonna do, he knows her.

“Oh come on, it’ll be funny.”

“Y/N-“

Y/N ignored him and rolled down the window. As the foggy window slid down, the face of Y/N’s elderly neighbour was on the other side. The fog on the windows, the messy hair, flushed cheeks and of course their position was enough to make the elderly woman let out a little gasp from surprise.

“Hi, Mrs Pullmin.” Y/N said meekly, kinda regretting winding down the window.

“Why…hello darling. Um. I saw the car in the drive way and I thought it was a homeless man camping in your driveway and I was just going to offer them to move to my driveway because I didn’t think you would be okay with them being here but now I see that that is not the case.” The poor woman couldn’t even look at the two of you and hasn’t taken her eyes off the ground

“Yeah, not the case.”

Stiles was trying to supress his laughter as your flushed cheeks turned beet red from the embarrassment of the situation.

“Well, I guess I’ll leave you two lovebirds to be. Enjoy your teenage fun, darling.” Mrs Pullmin waved goodbye to the both of you.

“Goodbye, Mrs Pullmin!” Stiles finally spoke up and let out a cackle.

“Stop it!” Y/N lightly slapped his chest and hid her face in his neck. “I thought it was gonna be Kira or Derek.”

“That was far more entertaining, though.” Stiles kept laughing whilst he stoked her hair.

Stiles loved this. Even though they aren’t just best friends anymore, they are still joking around like nothing changed. There’s no pressure on the both of them, they’re still Y/N and Stiles.

“Hey,” Stiles spoke up after their laughter died down, “Y/N.”

“Mmhhm?” Her head lifted from his neck and she fake pouted down at him. He smiled up at her and lifted his hands to hold her head between them.

“Let go on a date tomorrow, yeah?”

“Really?” Y/N’s smile got wider.

“Of course, dummy.” He giggled at her childlike happiness. “I wanna take my girlfriend out on the town.”

“So, I’m your girlfriend now, huh?” Y/N teased, poking at the boy’s cheeks.

“Well, that’s if you want to.”

“Of course, dummy.” She grabbed his cheeks too and kiss him again.

Stiles wanted to be a gentleman so he kissed her and forced himself to calm down. He opened the door and the clumsily staggered their way out of the driver’s seat from being in their position. He walked her to the front door and bid her goodnight with another quick kiss.

Stiles was the luckiest man alive to not only have Y/N as a best friend but, now, to also have her as a girlfriend .

#Stiles #stiles stilinski #stiles x reader #stiles stilinksi imagine #teen wolf #dylan o'brien #dylan o'brian imagine #dylan o'brian gifs

46 notes · View notes

littleogreboii · 5 years

Text

Take A Break

It’s time to get salty lads. (Aka a season 11 episode 1 fix it)

Summary: Wu was angry. The ninja had gone right back to being lazy after the Oni's defeat. But, maybe there's more to it. It lingers in the shadows of Cole's eyes. It lurks in Zane's sharp responses. It lures Jay away. It's hidden in the spark lighting Kai's mouth. It bleeds onto Nya's blistering hands. It revels in the muscles of Lloyd's shoulders, holding them prisoner. And Wu will realise everyone has a limit.

Warning: Discussion of PTSD, Dissociation, Bullying, Nightmares, Lloyd’s Daddy Issues, Lloyd’s Harumi Issues. Also, someone has a panic attack. SEASON 11 EPISODE 1 SPOILERS! (AS WELL AS PRIOR SEASONS)

AO3

“And we’re back to this.” Wu focuses his glare on his nephew, Lloyd, ignoring the way Lloyd looks away in shame. “After every big victory, you get lazy, complacent, careless.”

“Uh that is not true.” Kai complains.

“We’re recovering. We’re resting our muscles.” Cole stretches out his back to demonstrate.

It was months ago.” Wu points out.

“Months? Really?” Nya questions.

“Are you sure?” Cole adds.

Wu scowls. “Yes."

Kai bites his lip. “Ah well who’s counting?”

“I am.” Wu states. “Look at yourselves.” He pokes Lloyd in the stomach, scowling at the way his staff presses in. “You’ve gone soft. You do nothing all day, but play video games and eat cake and soak in this - in this -”

“Hot tub.” Cole smiles.

“It’s not a hot tub! It’s the sacred bell of divinity. Out! Out! All of you!” Wu shouts. He’s met with a chorus of groans and complaints. He presses on. “Emergency meeting in the monastery. In. Three. Minutes.”

They quickly gather in the monastery, not wanting to anger Wu anymore than they already have. They’re all still dripping by the time they make it in. Cole somehow manages to keep his hat throughout it all.

“You have become soft, lazy, flabby.” Wu walks down the line, eyeing each of the ninja as he proceeds.

“Nobody has gone soft, Master Wu. I promise you. We are in perfect condition.” Lloyd dares to defend them, but his point falls flat when Cole burps. He turns to glare at him, but Cole just shrugs in defense.

“Silence.” Wu demands.

“No.” Zane, who has remained silent all this time, speaks up.

“Pardon?” Wu’s gaze is instantly bearing down upon the nindroid.

“No.” Zane continues. “I do not believe you are correct in your observations.”

“What?” Wu bellows.

“You state that after every victory we become lazy, but that is not true.” Zane defends. “There is only one instance where we became lazy after the defeat of a threat and that was back after our very first victory.”

“Well, I would have thought you would have learned after the first time.” Wu argues.

“You forget not all of us were present during that time period.” Zane gestures towards Lloyd. “Lloyd was not with us at that point of time.”

“Yes, but my nephew should know better. I thought I raised him better than that.” Wu’s gaze is harsh and Lloyd flinches under it.

“Raise him?” Kai laughs. “You raised him? By the time he got here, he was what 10? And then it wasn’t long after he used the tomorrow’s tea. You can hardly claim responsibility for raising him.” Kai shuffles down the line to stand by Lloyd. “Besides, there’s really no reason for Lloyd to know better. He was raised in Darkley’s. A school for literal villains! There’s no way he learnt proper lessons from them.”

“He is the green ninja-” Wu tries to regain his ground.

“And look where that’s got him!” Kai interrupts. “He hasn’t had a break since the day he found out he was the green ninja! He probably couldn’t even relax at Darkley’s without risk. Maybe months is a long time, but he sure as hell deserves it! Heck he’s finally a healthy weight and you’re insulting him for it!” And Kai is right. Lloyd had been scrawny when he arrived and since then, they’d never really settled enough to get him up to a healthy standard. “So don’t you dare judge him! Yeah the rest of us should probably know better, but we were all so stressed after everything that has happened recently! Cole and Lloyd could have died for frick’s sake!” Kai is struggling to keep his powers in check and that’s the signal for Nya to take over.

“We were all hurt. Those first few days of the resistance-” Nya pauses, the memories threatening to bubble over. “We thought you were dead and it was a struggle to find reasons to keep going. Lloyd had no powers and Ha-” Nya stops at the name, glancing at Lloyd. He’s biting his lip and Nya fears that if he bites any harder, he’ll draw blood. “Lloyd had his heart broken and then had to fight his father again. Then, we finally get all of you back and Cole nearly dies. Then, Lloyd is nearly crushed. Everything just happened at once. We’re all tired Wu.”

“And it didn’t end there.” Cole is holding Lloyd’s hand tight. “Even though it’s all in the past, every time I close my eyes, it’s all I see. I can just see the bounty disappearing and feel the darkness overwhelm me.”

“I see neverending plains.” Jay continues. “I see us being stranded again in the first realm, only we never find anything. It’s just us and half a ship.” Jay frowns. “And sometimes, I can still feel myself slipping away.”

“I was the one who suggested we take a break.” Kai admits. “No one could focus. Cole couldn’t sleep. Jay was hardly present. Zane was colder than usual. Nya was always working on some kind of tech. Lloyd could hardly do anything without breaking down. And I could hardly keep my head straight. We were falling apart. We needed time to just be kids. And yeah, I know we’re ninja first, kids second, but we were killing ourselves Wu.”

Wu is silent for a few minutes. “Lloyd, what do you have to say about all of this?”

“I take full responsibility, Uncle. I should have been a better leader.” Lloyd’s eyes are empty as he states this, but his rigid posture betrays him.

“I see.” Wu turns away to pour himself a cup of tea. “I did not know you were so traumatised by recent events.”

“It’s not just recent events.” Lloyd trembles. “It’s everything. It’s just never ending. It just keeps going. First Darkley’s, then fighting my dad, then we thought Zane was dead, then I had to sacrifice my dad, then there was Morro, then we thought we lost you Wu, then there was just everything with the sons of Garmadon and- and-” Lloyd tries to force the words out, but his throat tightens.

“You can stop Lloyd. I understand.” Wu sighs.

“Just when will it be enough?!” Lloyd cries. He breaks. The flood gates break open. His lungs refuse to cooperate. His limbs reject him, leaving him to fall to his knees. Kai and Nya are by him instantly. Cole rests a hand on Jay’s shoulder, as they watch from a distance. Zane keeps an eye on Lloyd’s vitals, prepared to step in if it gets too bad. Wu stands to the side, shocked.

“Hey, Lloyd. I need you to breathe for me.” Kai squeezes Lloyd’s hand. “Come on. In, two three four.” He squeezes again. “Out, two three four.” And again. Nya rubs circles on Lloyd’s back. Kai continues instructing Lloyd for a few minutes, until Lloyd seems to be able to support himself.

“It’s ok, Lloyd. I’m here. Kai’s here. Cole’s here. Jay’s here. Zane’s here.” Nya reassures him. “We’re alive and well.”

Wu waits for Lloyd to calm down before speaking again. “Next week, we will resume training, for at least an hour a day. In the meantime, we will work on some relaxation techniques which aim to tackle the problem rather than avoid it. I am sorry for yelling at you all. I should have done better.”

Wu could not be sure that there was anything out there which could ease the ninja’s suffering.

51 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

Text

Survey #256

song lyrics here.

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? Well considering I still live with my mother, I'd be quite the hypocrite if otherwise. Are you a generous person? I personally think so. Do you have a close relationship with your family? With my mom, extremely. Do you think there is life on other planets? Well, define "life," I suppose. Bacteria, stuff like that that science defines as life, yes. Complex life, I don't know. Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? Fuck yeah. Are you sexually attracted to any inanimate objects? ???? No. Would you watch a porno with your partner? UH NO I'm personally not at all interested in porn, and I feel it'd be awkward anyway? Have you ever stolen from your work? No. How much does intelligence turn you on? I guess like your average person that finds intelligence attractive. Do you ask someone out or wait for them to ask you? History shows it varies. Do you own any sex toys? No. Do you talk about your sex life with either of your parents? Well I don't have one now, but historically, I very timidly have with my mom about something. Generally though, I don't. I keep that very private. Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? No. How often do you use Facebook at work? I'm unemployed. Do you enjoy television or movies better? That's hard, but maybe movies. I don't really watch either, but movies, when they have a good plot, are usually more enjoyable. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? Sure thing. I personally want to donate my organs and have the rest cremated, though. Are you a romantic person? Yeah. Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? It would seriously depend on the depth of their relationship, where they're hanging out, how long... that kind of stuff. I am very serious about letting your partner have friends, including w/ the gender they're interested in, so I try to be open-minded here. Are you careful with your money? It's hard to even say with how seldom I have any. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? Absolutely. Do you like soccer? No. Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Depends. I'd say I USUALLY prefer uhhh... single dates? How often do you go dancing/clubbing? Never. Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? Uh, no. Do you meditate? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? The soul. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? I don't cook. You don't want me to. Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? Fuck no. Do you believe in an afterlife? Probably. Do you litter? NO. Would you have sex with someone hot who you hated? nO????????????? Do you have a career plan? Kinda, but who knows when the fuck that's coming true. Do you mostly cook your own meals? Well, I mostly microwave stuff. I never use the stove or oven. Could you live with someone who was really messy? To a certain degree, no. Do you believe in fate or destiny? No. Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? No. Would you date someone just for the sex? Nope. Have you ever had a one night stand? No. Have you ever lied about the number of sexual partners you’ve had? No. Are sex and intimacy the same thing? "Sex is just one example of intimacy. There’s other ways to be intimate, including ones that don’t involve being sexual at all." <<<< Exactly this. Have you ever played strip poker? No. How often do you get angry? "I’m someone who gets irritated, moody, upset, and frustrated often, but not angry." <<<< Also this. Do you consider yourself an emotional person? VERY MUCH SO. Is work important to you? Considering how harshly I shit on myself for not having a job, most certainly. Have you had cosmetic surgery? No. On a first date do you pay or do they? In every experience but with Sara, they did. I only paid on Sara's and my first date out of trickery lmao. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? No. Could you date someone who does drugs? Nope. Medical marijuana is fine, though. Have you ever been to a sex shop? No. Have you ever had a threesome? Nah. Do you enjoy discussing politics? Noooo. Would you do a striptease for your partner? WHOA I would feel WAY too awkward gd. Would you date someone who doesn’t have a car? Yeah. Is it wrong to watch porn if you’re in a relationship? That depends on the people in it. Some mind, some don't. Idk how I'd feel it if was my partner. Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? Hi, it's 2020. Women don't need to be "taken care of." Would you tie up a partner if they asked you to do so? Yeah. Have you ever had sex in a public place? No. Would you date someone twice your age? No. Should a child caught masturbating be punished? It'd be weird at a certain age, but no. It's normal to explore sexuality and what you like, and perhaps even more importantly, it's way better for you to let your sexual urges out privately versus... you know. Being forceful on others. Do you tell your friends you love them? Of course!! Maybe it's just how I was brought up, but I've always gotten kinda confused when (particularly good) friends don't. Love is platonic just as much as it is romantic, and you should let people know! Do you like playing tic-tac-toe? I mean, I guess? What about hangman? It's more fun than the former. Did you play hopscotch when you were younger? Yeah. Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? I remember at least one. Do you have a yahoo account? It exists, but I haven't touched it in an eternity. I don't even remember the password. Are you a violent person? Definitely not. Do your siblings dye their hair? Not really. They occasionally get highlights, though. Do you still have any of your exes’ stuff? Besides gifted stuff, no. I think. Who can you best relate to in the last book you read? That I finished, Clay. Because he's dumb and hungry. Are you indecisive? Unbelievably. Do you collect anything? What? Meerkat and Silent Hill stuff. What are you listening to? An Emzotic video. I'm like,,, hooked on her stuff. I've been on a MASSIVE animals video binge lately, and she's a FUCKING MOOD. What was the last compliment someone gave you? Idr. What are your pets’ names? Roman and Venus. Gah, I need more bbz. What did your first best friend look like? Last I've seen a picture of her, she was a somewhat bigger person with long, curly brown hair, and she's always been very tan. Did you have a role model growing up? Steve Irwin. If you could learn how to play one instrument, what would it be? Guitar. Is your best friend dating anyone? Do you like them? No. Do you want to move? Very badly, and we probably are soon. Do you have a big family? My extended family is giant. Do you want more or less siblings? I'm happy with what I have. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Great contentment in all I do. Surrounded by love, changing the world in even tiny ways, etc. What is the trait you most deplore (dislike) in yourself? I realized it semi-recently and honestly don't want to share it. Only my old therapist knows, I think. Besides that one, the fact I'm very impulsive with words when I'm upset, probably. What is your greatest extravagance? I'm really creative and passionate. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Probably the glorification of virginity. I would know. It was a MASSIVE DEAL for most of my teenage years. On what occasion do you lie? When it's a thing where I feel it's just better to not be honest. Now I honor honesty a lot, so I avoid it as much as possible, but no, I don't believe it's always the best policy. What do you most dislike about your appearance? My weight. Which living person do you most despise? I don't know about one specific person. The traumatized part of me says Jason's friend that encouraged him to break up with me, but I know I rightfully shouldn't even dislike him, save for the fact he was pretty arrogant. What or who is the greatest love of your life? I don't know. When and where were you the happiest? Well, it depends. If you mean in a specific moment of most intense happiness, lots of times with Jason. An extended period of happiness, early into recovery when I lived with Colleen. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Recovering from the breakup. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? A house cat. Seems like a pretty good life. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? At least from my experiences, harsh rejection when you try your best to please that person. What do you value most in your friends? As far as a sweeping characteristic they all share, the will to listen and just be there for me in times I really need companionship. Who are your favorite writers? I don't really have favorites. Who is your hero of fiction? Hm, I dunno. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Uhhhh I also don't really know. I'm not enough of a history buff for this. Who are your heroes in real life? I answer this enough. What are your favorite names? Alessandra and Severin. Do you like watching reruns? No. What do you think is worth waiting for? Deep relationships. Should parenting classes be mandatory for new parents? No. What is the number one thing people are always asking you for help with? English/writing. What movie did you love the original but hated the sequel to? I remember the Ghost Rider sequel was nothing compared to the original. It was okay, but. Are you more talk and less action or vice versa? More talk. Have you ever given someone a handmade present? Yeah, especially as a kid. What type of person angers you the most? Probably those who can't put their pride aside for anything. What do you think should be a wonder of the world that currently isn’t? I don't even know what they all are to get a proper grasp on the question. What comforts you on bad days? My mom and Sara, sleep, YouTube, sometimes regrettably food, etc. Do you treat yourself and your body with respect? Not very well. Something you eat that other people would find gross. *shrugs* Nothing that's too weird. Have you ever broken the law and didn’t get caught, if so how? Yeah, and obviously by not screaming it to the world, but also because none are massive. Something you fear might change you. The aftermath of heartbreak. It still affects me today and makes me see less hope in love. What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you? Volatility. Have you ever resented someone, if so what for? "Stealing" Jason, and the other person for accusing me something of so fucking selfish and vile I don't even like saying it, especially when she was my damn therapist that I loved and trusted. How old do you think is too old to have a baby? "Old enough that getting pregnant would cause significant harm to you or the baby." <<<< How have you changed over the last five years? I've definitely become wiser and more open-minded. Have you ever painted a house? Nope. Have you ever had a surprise party (that was an actual surprise)? No. What makes you feel miserable? Eating badly (particularly too much sugar makes me feel shitty), doing nothing/extended boredom. What’s the best costume you’ve ever worn? Don't have a clue. What’s been the hardest loss you’ve had to take? Jason. A loss without actual death is, wow, awful. I mean death is too, but holy shit it hurts when that person chooses to leave you. Do you like sunny days or rainy days more? Depends on the temperature and my mood. Who is your favorite movie director and what’s your favorite movie from them? Tim Burton, of course. Alice In Wonderland. What is the furthest you’ve ever got a paper airplane to fly? Not very far. Nothing impressive. Do you like the person you are becoming? It depends on the context. Honestly, by this point, not really. What’s the highest you’ve ever jumped into the water from? Not high at all. What inspires your ideas? More than anything, music. Just a single lyric, sometimes one word, spawns a sometimes very complex concept. Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself? No. Have you ever bolstered your resume to get a job you really wanted? No. I have a really, really hard time lying for a job. Have you ever had an internship, if not what would be your dream intern job? No. Do you prefer chicken, beef, or seafood? Chicken. Have you ever had a health scare? Yes. What do or did you hate the most about dating or the dating process? Opening up again. What do you frown upon when it comes to raising kids? Spanking. Have you ever been professionally photographed? Yeah. Do you influence people more than they influence you? I very much doubt that. If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, what would you ask? If he regrets me. Do you buy anything organic, if so, what is it? I don't think so? What was the name of the first album you ever bought and who was it by? I believe it was You're Awful, I Love You by Ludo. Do you have any prejudices you’ve admitted to yourself? No. Who is the very first friend you ever remember making and how old were you? Brianna; I was two. What makes you lose sleep? Stress. Anxiety. PTSD. Do you floss or use a toothpick when food gets stuck in your teeth? I floss. Have you ever made out in a bathroom? Pretty sure that's a negative. Ever physically fought with member of the opposite sex? YIKES no. Well, besides playfighting. Ever walked in on your friends having sex? No. Ever kissed a friend’s crush? No. Has anyone ever called cops on you? No. Do you swallow gum when you’re finished? Noooo that's so uncomf. Ever tackled someone to the ground? Not in a way that was a harsh fall. More like a crumbling to the floor. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Hm. Maybe in the school library, but I doubt that, really. I don't think I ever actually fell asleep. Did the last person you kiss have piercings? No. Did your parents spoil you as a child? No. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning? No. Ever thrown up in public? Yes. Has anyone laid on your bed besides you? Yes. What bothers you more, when people lie or when people complain? Depends on the severity. I think lying is more hurtful, though. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Three. Who took your profile picture on Facebook? Me. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? More towards the left. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Would you ever date anyone your parents disapproved of? Yeah. I'd consider their reasonings, of course, but it's my decision.

#survey #quiz #questions

2 notes · View notes

seattlegrace-rpg · 4 years

Photo

Name: Thomas “Tas” Evan Oneeri Jr. Age: 19 Occupation: Longterm patient FC: Leebo Freeman

BIOGRAPHY:

Thomas Jr. was born the youngest of three children, half brother to the other two. His mother died giving birth to him. She hadn’t been seeing a doctor regularly during her pregnancy and her eclampsia wasn’t caught nor was he ever seen in ultrasounds before his birth. Right away it was obvious there was something wrong, his spine was badly deformed, his legs were bowed in, he’d suffered multiple fractures in the hard birth, the whites of his eyes were tinged blue. Tas was diagnosed with Type IV Osteogenesis Imperfecta at one week old. However that was only the beginning of his problems. Tas’ father, Thomas Sr., in his grief of losing the love of his life and unable to control his anger turned heavily to alcohol and began to verbally abuse then physically abused his two older sons. Isaac, the oldest, kept his mouth shut and his head down to avoid attention. Marcus, the second oldest, worked up the courage to tell one of the doctors while at an appointment for the then two year old Thomas, who had gotten his nickname of Tas because of his difficulty pronouncing his own name. By two Tas’d had surgery to try and correct the bowing in his legs and was recovering from that when the social workers came. His father was arrested and the three were placed in foster care as their only known living relative their uncle, Jonathan, was currently in jail for taking the fall for a murder his twin brother Thomas Sr. had committed when they were seventeen. Isaac and Marcus were adopted within three years being as young as they were as well as healthy, unfortunately to different homes despite trying to keep them together. Tas wasn’t adopted and remained in foster care bouncing around from home to home until he was around fourteen when an older couple adopted him, Elizabeth and Wendy Nelson. Tas doesn’t remember much about his brothers and the foster homes he had stayed in stopped giving him their letters or the letters were sent to the wrong address and were never forwarded, they stopped being sent when they weren’t returned even in the scrawling of a five year old. The foster homes he was in and out of were neglectful and often times just abusive and because of his disease he was often labeled too much to handle and was passed on to someone else quickly. He was told why he was put into foster care by his parents when he turned sixteen. Because of his condition and childhood he became severely depressed and has issues with attachment and abandonment but hides it best he can with jokes and pranks. When he turned nineteen he was told about a program to study his disorder at Seattle Mercy Grace and moved away from his adopted parents in Cleveland, Ohio, all the way to Seattle. He has a small studio apartment paid for by his parents that’s very close to the hospital so he often walks to it when he can. Now that he’s on his own he decided this fresh start was a good time to figure out exactly what he wanted to do with his life. With his limitations it was difficult, but he settled on what he knew best. Hospital life. He enrolled in an almost completely online eighteen month program to become a medical administrative assistant and wants to work for the new hospital he’s been sent to. Personality wise, Tas is a huge flirt and a troublemaker. Since he can’t get his energy out playing sports he gets his kicks by pulling pranks and telling jokes and teasing as many people as he can. He’s smart, funny, mischievous and very charismatic. He became fluent in Spanish just to trip people up. Despite that he’s easy going, doesn’t like causing actual trouble and prefers to keep his antics at a fun, if not slightly annoying, level for everyone. When he’s alone is pretty much the only time he drops that fun easy going attitude, showing the sadness in him. He has not made any attempts to contact his half-siblings, father, or uncle despite knowing they are out there. He likes to bird watch and sketch and play video games. Physically Tas is both blessed and cursed. He has short curly blonde hair he often keeps gelled back, sky blue eyes with the whites tinged a light grayish-blue, and very pale fragile usually bruised up skin. He’s handsome despite his illness, his face is shockingly angular, with a hooked nose, high cheekbones. And he’s tall, one thing that makes him stand out from the others with his condition, standing at 6’1”. However he’s really thin weighing 140lbs with not so much muscle, can’t get too much exercise in. With his spine being curved the way it is he is cocked to the left slightly but the surgeries he had to fix it made that much less obvious. The same goes for his legs, which still bow but it can only be noticed if you’re looking for it. He’s got multiple scars from surgeries to fix fractures and breaks as well as his legs and spine. He wears mostly tank tops and t-shirts in all colors often with inappropriate sayings or images, a dark purple button up denim jacket, usually blue jeans that aren’t too tight fitting on the legs, and purple converse that match his jacket. He has a necklace that is a choker with two black leather bands and a silver feather hanging from it. He has a personalized cane that can fold up that he uses and is almost never seen without, with a silver raven’s skull as the handle and the shaft black with plumes of purple smoke painted along it. The jacket, shoes, and cane were gifts given to him by his adoptive parents when they told him he was going to be adopted by them, the necklace a gift from the staff of the hospital he’d been going to for years. Medically, he has a slightly S shaped curved spine. He does have asthma because of his chest wall being mildly deformed. Has had surgery for Basilar Invagination at around 1 year old and that is still monitored as they weren’t entirely sure it was successful. Has had full dentures since he was 4 years old. He has fractured most of the bones in his arms and legs countless times as well as his right hip and right collar bone at least once and severely broke his left leg and right arm resulting in surgeries, as well as breaking his other limbs a few times less severely and only resulting in casts, all due to being more adventurous and less careful than he should be. When he does get bigger fractures they often get infected resulting in long hospital stays while they work on getting the infection under control. He has had multiple surgeries that have gotten his spine to the okay point it’s at now and to fix his bowing legs which are barely able to be seen unless you’re looking for it. He has valvular heart disease, two of the valves are smaller than they should be, but he hasn’t had any major issues with it yet previous doctors said his case is a watch and wait. He will occasionally have seizures, one of them is what resulted in his broken arm and a small skull fracture but he hasn’t had one in about two years, his speech is slower because of a big one he had when he was 6 years old. He also has not so great hearing. It’s not so bad to the point he needs hearing aids but if you don’t get his attention first or speak loud enough when he’s not looking he won’t notice you’re talking. He is given Pamidronate every month or so, regularly takes anti-inflammatories and pain relievers, as well as smoking weed despite being told constantly not to for many reasons and does his best to hide that habit. He nearly constantly gets all manners of tests done on him so he’s got a very busy schedule.

STATUS: THIS CHARACTER IS

OPEN/TAKEN/RESERVE

#taken #patient #tm

3 notes · View notes

lycorogue · 5 years

Text

Meet My OCs: Willow (Part 3 – Character Arc Events)

Hello yet again! Ready for the next part of Willow's introduction? I'm telling you, when I first started working on this, I did NOT intend on Willow's entry surpassing 30pgs single spaced within a Word document, nor did I expect it to take a week to write up and edit! Thankfully, the epic document was easy enough to break down into 6 parts for slightly easier consumption. I wonder if my other characters will be as detailed....

Anyway, how about a quick recap before I keep going? This is part of a multi-post series I started here on Tumblr about a month ago. A means to introduce you guys to my main OCs.

In Part 1 of this series, I talked about why I'm doing it in the first place, as well as explain the real-world influences that helped me create my two story worlds of Gyateara and Glitches.

Part 2 of the series talked about the inspiration that birthed each of my four main Gyateara characters.

Part 3a did the same, but for my four main teenage Glitches characters.

Part 3b then talked about the Glitches main supportive cast of six adult characters; each one originating as a canonical X-Men character.

Earlier today, I moved on to Part 4 of this series: the official introduction of my characters, one by one. I started off with my most present character: Willow Driver. In Meet Willow: Part 1, I shared Willow's background, gave an overview of her personally, and talked about her powers. There were also some lovely pictures to showcase what she looks like.

In Meet Willow: Part 2, I discussed her main relationships.

Part 4 will showcase the other artwork I created for Willow, as well as two cards @chibisunnie created for me that feature Willow.

Then, in Part 5, Willow is showcased narratively with a series of scene samples and shorts.

Finally, Willow’s introduction is concluded in Part 6 with a couple videos of wrestling intros we created for Hubby's WWE13 video game. It will be a fun closing post for this mini-series about Willow.

Now, getting back to this post (Part 3), I'm going to discuss Willow's main story arc events, as seen thus far in the X-Future play-by-post game she originated in. In truth, I haven't played Willow since 2017, so I had forgotten just how eventful her X-Future life truly was! At the end of this recap of her life, I'll also talk about how any of these events will relate to my intended opening character arc for Willow in Glitches.

So, hopefully you have a snack and a drink, because this ended up being 10gs long in my word document. It may take a minute or two to read. Once you're ready, go ahead and check below the break to see what Willow has been up to in X-Future, and how it will transfer to Glitches.

X-Future:

Most of the early events I had already talked briefly about in Part 2 of Willow's introduction, as I discussed her main relationships.

She was at Colossus Academy from the ages of 13 through 15, but when Colossus and Jubilee were killed on mission, and the Academy was shut down, Willow transferred to the Xavier Institute along with her close friend Marge, her surrogate younger brother Hedge, and her pseudo-girlfriend Penumbra. They were a tight clique, but she quickly grew attracted to Chayse, formed a rocky friendship with Lia, and found a playful flirt-buddy in Devon.

She was pushed hard by the faculty at the Xavier Institute, and held to a higher standard than she was used to. This forced her to shape up, mature a little, and stop pranking/bullying others as much. She became closer to Devon, and focused using her powers to mostly prank and tease him and William.

Devon couldn't really hide his attraction to Willow, despite her teasing, and she soaked up as much of the attention as possible. She also tried to ignore her feelings for Chayse, who was dating Lia at the time. Instead she leaned more towards her feelings for Devon, much to Penumbra's dismay.

Willow noticed William's straight-laced and overly conservative personally, and put it on herself to get him to loosen up and act like the 17yo he was. She falsely believed he had a crush on her, so she routinely teased him with sensual images. She thought he was riled up because he, a nearly-18-year-old, was trying to resist his attraction to her, a 15-year-old. She didn't realize he actually got so worked up because she was genuinely annoying him.

One day there was an accident. William was practicing unsupervised as he pushed his powers to their limit. He ended up passing out when he teleported too high into the atmosphere, and plummeted to his death. Willow and Lia joined forces to lead a vigil and build a statue dedicated to William's memory. Willow then realized she thought of William as a brother, as she remembered her own estranged brother. She regretted her treatment of William, and toned down her sensual illusions to tease people. She didn't give them up completely, but she certainly used them more as a means of flirting with those who positively responded to them, as opposed to using them to tease and prank as she had done with William.

Life evened out for a few months, getting back to some sort of normalcy within the school. Then came the day that Devon went to Willow to confide in her. He was on a mission to recruit a new kid for the school, and he had run into The Brotherhood. The leader of the organization, Pyro, told Devon, who was abandoned at a church orphanage while only 4months old, that The Brotherhood could help him figure out who his parents are. Devon had turned down the offer, knowing the Brotherhood to be a terrorist group trying to rule over humanity, as opposed to the X-Men's goal of cohabitation. Devon couldn't get the offer out of his head, though. Trying to help Devon clear his mind, Willow suggested he try out his first Danger Room session. Cyclops offered to run the session, and went to the control room; leaving Devon alone in the DR. Willow moved to an observation deck, assuming watching Devon's first DR run would be hilarious.

Instead, it became something that would haunt Willow for the next couple of years. Devon was put through a generic rescue mission training, in which he had to recover Penumbra. Upon freeing her, Devon was promptly knocked out in a surprise attack. Willow was horrified as she watched the Danger Room transform to look like the school’s infirmary, making Devon believe he was outside the simulator when he awoke. Devon was then told of a mission he needed to go on, and Willow desperately tried to signal to him that nothing he was seeing was real.

While on this “mission,” Devon was paired up with Willow's friend Marjory (Marge). They were separated from the team and confronted by Pyro, who again offered Devon information about his past. All he had to do was “get rid of” Marjory. Devon wrestled his teammate, put her into a sleeper hold, and knocked her out. He discretely checked that he didn't kill her, and then swiped her phone, hoping to use it to contact the X-Men with a location once Pyro brought him to Brotherhood HQ. The simulation didn't last long enough for Devon to execute his plan, however. Cyclops shut the simulation down, declaring Devon a failure of his loyalty test, and instantly put Devon on probation; resulting in him getting limited access to X-Men records and withholding information on who Devon's parents are.

Willow was beyond pissed at the deception, not fully grasping the irony of her anger. She viewed Cyclops a villain for his manipulation, and stormed off to cool down. She intended to check in on Devon later that night, but she never got the chance. Devon had decided he would prove Cyclops wrong by following through with is Danger Room plan, but in real life. He'd infiltrate the Brotherhood, find out about his parents, and then lead the X-Men to the Brotherhood stronghold to take the organization down. He wrote a letter of apology and gratitude to Headmistress Kitty Pryde-LeBeau for giving him the opportunity of joining the school. He wrote another letter of apology to Marjory, in case she truly was in the DR with him instead of a simulation. He wanted her to know that he never meant to hurt her. Finally, he wrote a farewell letter to Willow explaining why he had to leave, and his plan for coming back. As proof that he intended to return, he left Willow his prized possession: his customized lighter. His only means of creating fire that he could then manipulate with his powers.

Before anyone realized Devon had gone, and/or found his letters, the school was attacked by a large energy blast. The energy blast created a major explosion that collapsed the school. Chayse and Gambit were able to read the energy change around the school soon enough to give almost everyone enough warning to get to the safety bunkers below ground. There were still some casualties, though, and Willow feared that Devon was among them. The faculty wouldn't let the students leave the bunkers as they did headcounts and looked for the missing. Drifting to the Astral Plane, Willow watched the clean-up and rescue crew pulling bodies from the rubble. She was relieved that none of them were Devon, but devastated to discover young Hedge's body among the deceased. She swore vengeance on whomever attacked the school.

A few hours later, security film revealed that Devon had run from the school campus an hour before the attack, although the actual attack wasn't caught on cameras; they were all damaged by the energy surge.

Most at the school suspected that Devon was somehow involved; signaling to The Brotherhood for the attack. The fact that the faculty knew Devon was the son of two Brotherhood members, and that he had been in and out of juvenile detention centers for the past five years didn't help matters.

Willow decided that Devon was a traitor, and his was the face she'd picture whenever she thought of revenge for Hedge. She spent the next two years hating her former best friend and crush; picturing ways to torture and punish him for Hedge's death. She also hated Cyclops for his deception, although she understood why he did it. The whole experience showed her, from an outside perspective, what her own powers do to people, and her use of them to pull pranks dropped significantly.

Around the same time as the attack on the school, Chayse's best friend Nix was abducted from the school's infirmary. Chayse had a lead on where Nix could be, and desperately wanted to follow it. Cyclops was chosen as an escort, and Willow his teammate. Lia wanted to go as well, but her earth/magma manipulation powers were too valuable for the fortification of the school's foundation and bunkers, so she was ordered to stay behind to help with reconstruction. Nix's girlfriend Annika also stayed behind, working with her mother Rachel Grey to try to find any other hints on Nix's abduction.

Willow and Chayse spent most of that summer running around Europe, following faint traces of clues to Nix's location. On a mountain range in Bulgaria, their search came to an abrupt end when they came across an experimental facility. While searching through the building, Chayse believed he heard Nix call out to him, but there was an explosion shortly after. Chayse had to decide between Nix and Willow, and decided to phase Willow to safety. Having pushed his powers to an extreme he never tried before in order to save Willow, Chayse collapsed from the strain. The explosion had also separated them from Cyclops, so Willow was left alone to fend for both of them for three days before they were rescued. When the trio went back into the building to see if there were any possible survivors, the facility was in complete ruins, and charred remains rested where Chayse thought he heard Nix call to him. The DNA sample they took revealed that it was indeed Nix. Their search was complete, and Chayse had failed. Annika wouldn't believe them, though, claiming she still felt the psychic link she had with Nix. When everyone tried to tell her she was in denial and grieving, Annika left to prove that Nix was still alive.

Willow helped Chayse grieve over the next few weeks. Between that moment of vulnerability and the months of being each other's companions, the two became incredibly close. They both felt sparks, but both assumed it was simply a product of traumatic events – Willow's near-death and having to nurse Chayse, and Chayse's grief over Nix – and assumed the feelings would fade again. Chayse remained faithful to Lia, and Willow became even more flirtatious with just about every other student at the school.

The next year went fairly smoothly, mostly focused on rebuilding the school, grieving the students they lost, and continuing their trainings so they would be strong enough to take down The Brotherhood. During this time, Willow became Lia's new roommate to replace Annika. This allowed the two of them to get fairly close, and soon enough Willow, Lia, and Chayse became the big power-trio on campus: The Three Musketeers.

Then, while protecting a new recruit coming to the Xavier Institute, Chayse was attacked by a new Brotherhood member. He managed to defeat the Brotherhood, and get the recruit back to the safety of the school, however, he was badly injured: two spiral electrical burns to his chest. While Chayse was in the infirmary, Willow realized how much she truly cared for him. Not wanting to break up a happy couple, she decided to keep her distance while Lia stood watch over her boyfriend.

Chayse was hurt that Willow didn't visit while he was injured, and confronted her about it. Eventually, Willow admitted to her feelings, and how she had them nearly the whole time she had known him. Chayse confessed his feelings as well; they never truly waned after their mission to rescue Nix. Willow refused to be the reason he broke up with Lia, though, and told him they needed to stop hanging out. Chayse admitted that he and Lia were drifting lately (a fact Lia ended up not realizing), and that he couldn't ignore his feelings for Willow any longer. They agreed that Chayse had to break things off with Lia, and that they'd allow her time to grieve the relationship before Willow would start dating Chayse. She didn't want to rub her relationship in her roommate's face while Lia was still healing.

While on the subject of healing, Willow then checked on Chayse's chest, and was confronted with two healing spirals that would be scarred there. Chayse told Willow of the attack, and described the assailant: a man about 19 with the same silver-white hair and aquamarine eyes Willow had, and went by the code name Screwdriver. Willow was dumbfounded to discover that her brother had powers, had teamed up with The Brotherhood, and had attached Chayse. She didn't want to believe any of it. Picking up on how overwhelmed Willow was, Chayse left her to process everything.

The next day, Chayse went to break things off with Lia. She was so devastated by the news that she lost control of her powers, nearly burning Willow with a fire blast, and forcing Chayse to strain to use his powers to help her regain control. Chayse wasn't healed from his brush with Screwdriver, and fainted under the effort. Willow stayed by Chayse's side as Lia rushed to get help. The two of them had a fight in the infirmary waiting room as Chayse was taken care of. The fight ended with Lia running out of the building to hide by the river that ran along the border of the school's estate (more about this in Lia's intro in 2 weeks).

Chayse recovered fairly quickly, and he and Willow walked on eggshells for the next couple of weeks while Lia recovered from her heartbreak. As Prom neared, Chayse asked Willow to be his date. Trying to extend an olive branch, Willow asked Lia and a couple of other girls on their floor if they all wanted to go dress shopping and get ready together. Lia, now infatuated with two newer recruits Lincoln and Ripley, agreed to the group Prom-prep party. Willow and Lia still had a rocky relationship, and Lia still hated to see Willow and Chayse together, but they were at least civil and attempted to be friends.

At the prom after-party, hosted by one of the students - a former Irish pop idol - the Brotherhood attacked. They were again after the recruit Chayse had saved from Screwdriver. Shawn had already killed the mutant Dazzler, who was there to perform at the after-party, and then he set his sights on Chayse. He quickly picked up that Willow cared deeply for Chayse, and so Shawn focused on killing his sister's boyfriend in front of her. Willow, being protected and carried away by a fellow student, slipped into the Astral Plane in order to try to create illusions to distract the Brotherhood long enough for the students to escape, as well as have enough power to mentally attack Shawn to slow him down and protect Chayse.

In the end, Chayse was able to take down Shawn on his own, but Screwdriver was whisked away from the battle by his teammates before Chayse could properly capture him for transport to the X-Men. Meanwhile, Willow's illusions made it look like the Brotherhood's target was killed in the crossfire, rendering their mission complete. Just as the students were going to call themselves the victor, Chayse noticed the same energy signature he felt just before the school collapsed two years prior. He alerted Willow via telepathy, and she relayed the information to the other students. They ran for cover as she used her telekinesis to hold the building together long enough for everyone to escape. The strain of using her powers so much that night, and lingering on the Astral Plane for so long, left her unconscious the next day.

Shortly after recovering, Willow's world was rocked by a new arrival at the school. A man with silver hair in his early 20s. A man who had come from the future, and one who looked an awful lot like an aged up Chayse. Soon enough, it was revealed that this man – Sebastian – was Chayse and Willow's son. He was from an apocalyptic future where an organization called Challengers of Heaven took over the whole planet. Sebastian and is fiance Brianne - who was originally from the present, but was thrown into the future via a wormhole - came to the present to try to stop the Challengers, who had also sent warriors to the past.

Sebastian was excited to spend time with Chayse, who had died when Sebastian was about five. Meanwhile, Willow was trying to wrap her mind around the fact that she was going to have a kid with Chayse, and that she would be known as one of the Great Protectors; the last of a resistance against the Challengers.

As Willow continued to recover from the prom after-party, and tried to cope with finding out about Sebastian, Lia was in charge of an escort mission. During the prom after-party, Lia managed to capture the Brotherhood member Trish. Lia was the only one who couldn't be burnt by Trish's pyrokinesis, so she, and a few other students that had signed up as X-Men junior recruits, were assigned as prison escorts for Trish's transfer to S.H.I.E.L.D. custody. The mission went horribly wrong. A relatively new student, who went by the code name Psyke, had betrayed everyone to The Brotherhood. The terrorist organization managed to kill most of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents, and Psyke killed a student who believed himself Psyke's best friend. The Brotherhood also managed to rescue Trish from the X-Men and S.H.I.E.L.D. The only victory the X-Men had on that mission was three Brotherhood members defecting. Lia had run into Devon while he was there to rescue Trish, and he instantly switched sides to help Lia and the X-Men. His pseudo-girlfriend Nyssa followed suit, as did Devon's best friend Zeke. The former Brotherhood trio even rescued Lia from a new villainess who called herself Agony; a mutant who has the ability to transfer the pain and physical damage she received to whichever target she picked. So any time Devon would punch Agony, Nyssa would feel the connection as if Devon had punched her instead. That sort of thing. She has far more powers than just that, but those will relate more to Lia's intro, so I’ll talk about them then....

Upon arriving back to the Xavier Institute, Lia vouched for Devon, Nyssa, and Zeke, and asked for them to be accepted into the school. The trio was vetted by the local telepaths, and were put on probationary student status. Willow was NOT a fan, however, and instantly attacked Devon the second she saw him. Chayse had to peel her off of Devon to stop her from knocking him out, especially since Devon was just accepting her hatred and punishment, and likely would have allowed her to beat him unconscious.

There were a lot of arguments between Willow and Devon as he tried to find his place within the Xavier Institute again. The main conflict between them became the premise of the collaborative story “Please, Let Me Explain” that Devon's creator Ronoxym and I started working on YEARS ago. (We need to get back to that story...).

Shortly after Devon's return, Chayse and Willow had their own encounter with Agony. They were off to recruit a mutant, but their mission went south the second they landed at their destination. They quickly realized they were sent to the same portion of Bulgaria where they lost Nix. The very mountain range the facility was on rose above the valley they landed in. Chayse, already suffering from PTSD, instantly dropped to the ground and became catatonic. Telepath and team leader Emma Frost almost instantly realized that the PTSD flashbacks must have left him vulnerable, and he was attacked by a powerful telepath. Chayse was stuck in some sort of mental trap, and Willow needed to enter his mind to rescue him while Emma looked for the attacking telepath. It was tricky, since Willow never astral projected herself into someone else's mind before, but after a couple of tries, she succeeded. While in Chayse's mind, she saw him tortured by Nix; screaming about how little Chayse must have cared for anyone if he let Nix die and abandoned Lia for Willow. Willow quickly stepped in to try to protect Chayse and reassure him he had done nothing wrong. When Nix retaliated against Willow, Chayse came to his senses and rescued her. That was when it was revealed that Nix was actually Agony, astral projected into Chayse's mind, just like Willow, but cloaked in the image of Nix. After a quick battle, wherein Agony failed her attempts to mentally attack Willow, the duo incapacitated Agony, and Emma created a means for the three of them to escape the mental trap Agony set for Chayse.

Once back to the real world, Agony physically attacked; attempting a sneak attack to stab Willow through the shoulder blades. Chayse stopped Agony, and knocked her away. Willow then attacked Agony, knocking her to the ground, only to watch Chayse fall to the ground as well. Any injury inflicted on Agony would also happen to Chayse. To further prove her point, Agony stabbed a barbed spike through her own palm, and Chayse's hand went limp and began to bleed. Willow and Agony tussled a bit more, before Willow accidentally stabbed one of the barbed spikes into Agony's side in a take-down tackle. Thankfully, Chayse phased at the last second, transferring the pain of the stab, but the injury couldn't be transferred since he didn't have a solid form at the time. With Willow distracted in making sure Chayse was alright, Agony slipped away, vowing to not underestimate Willow next time.

After patching Chayse up, he, Willow, and Emma made their way to a Bulgarian prison where their recruit was being held. After a tense prisoner exchange, they got the new recruit Nodya to safety and flew back to the Xavier Institute.

To try to help Willow relax after so many emotional and physical shocks, Chayse took her to Japan for her 18th birthday; spending two weeks on the other side of the world. The trip didn't go exactly as planned, though, since they experienced some fairly open mutant discrimination and hatred. Chayse was even attacked while trying to defend Willow against an anti-mutant threat. Chayse managed to win the fight, barely, and they spent the next three days holed away in his mother's summer home in Japan (where she was trained by Wolverine, once upon a time) while Chayse recovered. The majority of the trip was lovely, though, and Willow appreciated both the distraction and the time away with her boyfriend (and future baby-daddy).

Returning to the school refreshed, and seeing how much effort Devon truly put in trying to make amends with the school, Willow's hatred for him faded. He didn't really do anything terribly unforgivable, and he had suffered just as hard over the past two years: thinking he had abandoned his friends to die. The Brotherhood wasn't actually at fault for the attack, and so Devon had also spent two years looking for revenge for the death of his found family. Devon and Willow never got back to the same level of closeness they had before he had left, but they slowly became friends again.

Then, a few weeks before the summer break ended, Nyssa started receiving letters from her estranged family. She had been disowned simply for being a mutant, but her parents realized how much they missed and loved their daughter. They asked for forgiveness, and begged for a chance to make amends. Nyssa mostly ignored her parents' pleas, but then she received a letter from Trish stating that she was with Nyssa's parents, and vaguely threatened their lives. Nyssa couldn't leave her parents to that murderer, and so she decided to go stop Trish. Devon insisted he'd come as well, since Trish was clearly after him that whole time anyway. They asked the X-Men for help, but there was a delay (for some reason that I can't recall... lack of intel?). Nyssa and Devon couldn't wait for the X-Men to be ready to go in for the rescue, so they went on their own. After a long battle with Trish (another story I've written but still need to polish before publishing online), Nyssa and Devon were killed. Turned out Nyssa's parents were already long dead, and all the letters about making amends were written by Agony, who had partnered up with Trish for this bit of sport.

Willow grieved the loss of her friend, unbelieving that he was truly gone this time. (In truth, Devon was revived, has amnesia, his mutation gave him a new default face, and Devon now lives in a mutant safe-house as he tries to remember who he is; no one knows any of this though.)

As the summer came to a close, and everyone once again grieved the loss of student lives (real safe place, the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters.... >_> ), Willow was rocked by another development. She had gone to Chayse's room one day, to discover him missing and the room ransacked. There was a note that Chayse had received, which told him to go back to the destroyed building the prom after-party was held in. The note's author, who turned out to be Agony, offered up information about what had happened to Nix all those years ago if Chayse agreed to meet.

Willow gathered up Lia and Zeke to try to help track Chayse down. They managed to get to the destroyed building shortly after Chayse. Agony originally mocked Chayse, but when he attacked her, she was rescued by a man made of ice and dressed in a monastery robe. The man called himself Boreas, and he could control winter weather – creating a frozen tundra on the building's lawn despite it being early September in New York state. Chayse instantly recognized Boreas as Nix; his DNA somehow altered to remove his telekinetic powers, but his ice manipulation powers enhanced to Omega level. Another body had its DNA manipulated to match Nix's, and that was the body Chayse had recovered from the facility two years prior. Willow raced to Chayse's side to help him as Boreas cried out for vengeance for being abandoned, and attempted to kill Chayse. Pissed that Chayse had backup, Boreas used a massive arctic wind to knock everyone away from them. He then created a maze of magical ice; the same thing he had used to help Trish escape S.H.I.E.L.D. custody.

Chayse was alone with Boreas, and knew his only option was to fight his former best friend. He hoped that once he incapacitated Boreas he could bring the man to the Institute, and have Nix be restored. Willow, Lia, and Zeke were all separated from Chayse in the maze – and Zeke separated from the girls. They rushed to try to get back to him, but Agony managed to corner Willow and Lia, cutting off their advancement to Chayse. Avoiding a two-on-one fight, Agony welcomed into battle Boreas' main ally, his partner Judgment. She was a woman in her early 20s, dressed in battle armor, and resembling a warrior angel as flame wings erupted from her back. Judgment declared Lia her opponent, and Agony happily detained Willow. Before anyone could react, Agony used yet another power no one know about, and encased Willow in an orb that forced her onto the Astral Plane.

Willow and Agony battled, and Willow managed to get the upper hand at one point, threatening to stab Agony. Unfazed, Agony simply stepped into the knife, spraying blue blood all over Willow. The blood then paralyzed her, trapping her stiff on the “ground” of their battle field. Once fully incapacitated, the blue blood spilled off of Willow, and formed into a blade within Agony's hand, leaving Willow vulnerable to Agony's killing blow. At the last second, the three copies Willow made of herself earlier in the battle lunged towards Agony, stopping the attack. Agony was startled that the copies moved of their own accord and independent of each other, the doppelgangers Agony created earlier in the fight could only mirror her movements. It was then that Willow discovered that the illusions she made on the Astral Plane were actually psy-weapons, which meant Agony disbelieving the illusions didn't dispel them. As the three Willow copies wrestled Agony, the dagger fell from her hand and shattered. Terrified by the sight of the blade breaking, Agony quickly retreated, and wished Willow luck in escaping the Plane Agony had put them in.

As Agony vanished within a blue orb, the landscape changed to a faded image of their battleground; gray and barren. The only thing Willow could see was a large blue crystal in the distance. The paralysis gone, she ran towards the crystal, and spotted the silhouette of a woman sleeping inside it. Finally, Willow got close enough to discern who the woman was: Willow herself. Upon that realization, Willow was brought back to the physical plane, the ice walls of Boreas' maze still up, the growls of battle around her, and her physical body locked comatose within a blue crystal right where she was when Agony forced her onto the Astral Plane.

Willow was still astral projected, as if she were a ghost on the physical plane. However, she was locked; not on the Astral Plane, and not truly on the physical one. She couldn't interact with anything, and couldn't communicate with anyone, despite how hard she tried. As if she were watching a TV show she couldn't control, Willow was forced to watch Lia finish her battle with Judgment, who had turned out to be Lia's friend and former roommate Annika; Nix's girlfriend who had volunteered to join the same villainous group as him, simply to stay by Nix's side.

In a cruel play, Judgment pretended to be Annika again; confused as to what had happened. As Lia ran to comfort her friend, Judgment held her close, and then used telekinetic powers to throw six adamantium spikes at Lia. Even in Lia's obsidian form, adamantium was the toughest substance on the planet, and they could rip right through her. Lia, in survival mode, dodged out of Judgment's death grip. She still was struck in the face, legs, and arms. Two spikes even ripped straight through Lia's shoulders like bullets. Already bleeding out pretty badly and in pain, Lia then noticed that in dodging the spikes, she condemned Judgment to be struck by them instead; all six impaled in the woman's torso. Willow was helpless to stop any of it.

Judgment collapsed into Lia's arms. She teased that Lia was capable of killing someone after all, and then passed out. Lia screamed for help, and the ice walls fell. It wasn't clear if Judgment had died in Lia's arms, but shortly after, her body vanished within a blue orb, just like Agony had done to escape the Astral Plane. Boreas escaped the same way as well. Chayse then rushed to Lia's side, with some assistance from Zeke. Once Chayse was certain that Zeke could care for Lia, he ran to the crystal that had encased Willow. He tried to phase her out of it, but the crystal reacted with violent electrical shocks, badly burning Chayse's hand. Zeke got to one of the motorcycles they had used to get to the ruined building, and sent a distress signal while Chayse tended to Lia's wounds.

Willow tried to call out to them, but her telepathy didn't seem to work. She tried to run for some help, but she was tethered to her physical form, incapable of going more than 20ft (6m) from her body. She screamed again for help, and Zeke responded to her; surprising her since she didn't realize he was a telepath. Chayse causing the electrical reaction from the crystal managed to create a microscopic crack that allowed Willow's telepathy to leak out slightly; catching the attention of other telepaths within that same 20ft radius she was locked within.

At the Institute, Chayse and Lia's wounds were taken care of. Chayse was released later that day, and Lia a few days later. Willow, on the other hand, was stuck with her body; trapped inside the private room in the infirmary for a week. Finally, when no one else could figure out how to get Willow out of her crystal, they called in the Sorcerer Supreme: Pixie. She was shocked at the massively advanced spell – one that she had only heard rumors of previously – and tried a few spells of her own. She was able to dispel the crystal, and trap it for further examination to see what kind of sorcery they were fighting against. Finally free of the crystal and the infirmary room, Willow went off to freshen up, have a few arguments with Chayse and Lia over how they overburden themselves as if they were the world's lone protectors, and then Willow blew off some steam at a new parkour training park Deadpool had built. She ran into a couple of new recruits, worked out on the parkour course for a little bit, and then headed back to the school in hopes of getting back to whatever her normal was.

------------------------------

Like I said at the beginning, Willow has gone through way more than I remembered. And it's the points that I remembered that will make it to Glitches. Mostly because they were the most impactful on both Willow as a character and me, as a “reader.”

First and foremost, I don't want to get into the complexity of time travel in Glitches with everything else I'm trying to balance. So Sebastian and Brianne won't be making their way to Glitches. However, they MAY make their way into their own side-story at some point, but that's probably a couple decades into the future, especially at the rate I'm going....

Things with Nix and Annika are a bit too complicated as well, plus Nix/Boreas and Annika were created by other players (although, Husband came up with the Judgment persona for Annika after Nix's player came up with Boreas). Nix and another character – Lucas Kinney – will most likely become an amalgamation; one of the glitch children Matteo rescues when he tries to break his sister out of the experimentation facility. I can go more into this when I introduce Matteo.

Similarly, I don't know if I'll have the William plot exactly. Again, mostly because I don't own William, so I'd have to create a replacement character, and I'll most likely have to discover a new reason for Willow's grief over him, her realization of that brotherly connection she destroyed, and her adjusting how she uses her powers; assuming I have her still be a callous prankster at first.

While the Japan trip is sweet, we never actually role played it, so I don't see the over-all impact on Willow's arc, so that's also gone.

So, what bits are staying? For me, these are the key parts of Willow's development:

Willow's dual attraction to Chayse and Devon.

Willow becoming best friends with Devon, only to feel betrayed when he runs away to find out more info about his past.

I'm still trying to decide if the school will again be attacked by a third party so that Willow ends up hating Devon, blaming him for the attack, and vowing vengeance for Hedge's death.

Since Devon's DR run, his running away, the school being attacked, Willow's self-hatred for “pushing Devon” to betray them, as well as her hatred towards Devon, and then their subsequent reunion makes up soooooo much of Willow's arc in-game, I feel it NEEDS to be in Glitches in some shape or form.

The real trick is either convincing Ronoxym to allow me to write Devon/co-author Glitches with me, or I’ll have to create my own Devon from scratch...

Willow discovering her brother Shawn not only has powers, but has also joined The Brotherhood (Called The Virus in Glitches) and wants to kill her and their parents.

Seeing the interaction between Shawn and Devon would be interesting

Shawn will just be “turned evil” by his childhood; no additive of being a psychopath needed (I'll leave that to Trish).

Shawn will still be discovered via his attack on a new recruit for the school. I'm debating if I want it to still be Chayse, and Willow finds out after-the-fact, or if she is there for the first interaction...

While not necessarily a prom after-party, I do want an off-campus gathering to be attached by The Virus in order to capture one of the students. That way Lia can show off her badassery with her one-on-one with Trish, and Willow can still prove her usefulness by using illusions to throw off the attackers into thinking their target is dead. Also, that was her greatest showcase of her telekenetic powers, and it also showcased the downsides to Willow having to be on the Astral Plane in order to fully utilize her powers.

Willow's interactions with Agony; a means for her to push her mental powers, and a foil as Agony has similar powers of manipulation/illusion.

Hubby originally headcannoned that Agony was actually Jacob's first child before meeting Meryl and having Shawn and Willow. Which is why Agony and Willow have similar power sets. It seems a bit weird, however, that Shawn's powers wouldn't match those of his sisters, nor did it seem logical that both of Willow's siblings were murderous psychopaths that loved to torture and torment, but Willow wasn't like that after seeing how much her powers truly hurt others. So, I'm still debating if I want to make Hubby's headcannon official.

Willow being trapped within the crystal after a battle with Agony. It would be interesting to have the time to fully explore that experience, and the grief her friends suffered while trying to break her out of it.

------------------------------

You good? Everyone caught up? You can take your pee-break now.

Makes sense that this kept me so long to write up and edit down, no? Anyway, thank you guys SOOOOO MUCH for again indulging me and sitting through all of that! You all amaze me!

Next up: Part 4 - Images. Who’s ready to see all the different versions of Willow I’ve collected throughout the years?

#writing #LycoRogue writing #OCs #Meet My OCs #Meet Willow #long post #Glitches #Willow Driver #Willow #Willow's backstory #Willow history #X-Future plot #X-Future vs Glitches #series post #7 out of ?#updates every other Sunday #LycoRogue original

4 notes · View notes

giganticactus · 5 years

Text

9.20.19

The last three years have felt like an absolute eternity.

On this day, three years ago, my recovery began. Three years ago, I was a shell of a person barely functioning enough to brush my teeth more days of the week than not. I hated myself to the point that I couldn't bare living life as the person I was. There was nothing about my personality or my mind that I did not despise. I had zero goals or hope or dreams for the future. I couldn't see my future beyond only a few days ahead. For a long time, I didn't want to find it.

My personality was a dark ball of depression and loneliness and emptiness. In constant need of an escape. In desperate need for help. I considered myself, no longer human, for a large chunk of 2016. There was no personality or humanity in my body. I was truly nothing but a combination of debilitating mental illnesses. I was living off of nothing else but guilt and codepency on a person I was in a very toxic relationship with at the time.

On this day three years ago, I broke off that relationship. It was the fourth day in a row which I didn't have suicidal thoughts. I felt that I truly had a 1% chance of surviving myself without her. I decided that I had to take that chance while it was in front of me. I had to let go of the one person who I knew was holding me down.

For another two months, I did nothing but sit at home, focused on avoiding triggers and finding ways to cope with the triggers. I played video games at all hours of the day, I forced myself to limit the food I ate while making sure I did still eat, trying to eat food that wasn't pure junk. Drank water as often as I thought about it. Focused on the parts of me that I hated most and tried my best not to hate them.

I realized, in the beginning of my recovery, that I had to build myself back up into a human being again. I had to recreate my personality and my relationships and social skills. I had to create motivation to get anywhere in my physical life. And it dawned on me. If I have to build myself back up, why would I go back to the person who put me onto this position in the first place?

The qualities that I wanted most in the person I wanted to be were: motivated, and didn't immediately run away from anything bigger than a mild inconveinece. I wanted to face challenges head on, I wanted to want to overcome obstacles. I've always been such a lazy person by nature that I wanted nothing to do with anything that wasn't completely easy to me. As I slowly built this person over the coming months, I got a temporary job working at Walmart over the holidays.

That seasonal job at Walmart that I spent 40 hours a week at for six weeks, was the best thing to happen to me in my recovery. It was just challenging enough that I was able to thrive from the challenges. I got my first hint of customer service skills, I worked as part of a team, I made friends. I learned a lot of responsibility and I rode my bike everyday to get there. But the number one thing that job did for me, was give me a sense of purpose. People relied on me. I had a job to do and I didn't have the option of walking away from it. I had a purpose. I hadn't had that feeling my entire life. And I must say, I was pretty good at it. I learned things pretty fast and honestly the only negative quality I had at that job was that I lacked a sense of urgency. But it wasn't hard to work around, and it definitely improved in the weeks I worked there. Two of my biggest fears were handling difficult customers and answering phones. Both of which I had to endure, and nine times out of ten they turned out well. I always had other people to fall back on as a safety net if I messed up. I was only eighteen, and the youngest worker in the store. Everybody looked out for me when I needed it and gave me a little push when I needed it as well. That job gave me a completely different outlook on the working industry and who Walmart is as a company. Both, in very positive light.

After that job ended, I was unemployed for five months. In that time I went back to my previous habits after my recovery began, but I was also a little more diligent about looking for another job. I had a small lick of motivation to find another purpose, but had trouble finding work that was close enough to ride my bike to, and would hire me with only six weeks of work experience.

I was hanging out with a friend of mine that April. He brought along a friend of his that we went to high school with. This friend was a shiftlead at my favorite place to eat. He asked me about what I was doing at the time, and when I told him I wasn't in school and didn't have a job, he told me that his work was desperate for hires. I was unsure about it, mostly because the store was a two and a half mile trip from my house, and the idea of riding my bike that far everyday sounded just a little bit like a real life horror movie. I told him I would think about it and he gave me his phone number for when I made my decision. A week later, he set up an interview with his manager for me and told me when to come in. I rode my back at two o'clock in the afternoon in early may to this interview where I was hired on the spot.

2017 was a year of recovery. I continued to build myself up and find habits that made me happy and healthy as I could be. I was truly the happiest I've ever been, in 2017. My depression quickly withered to a pebble because of this job and the friends I made. Riding my bike was great exercise, and I worked at a salad restaurant and was eating good healthy food. I was honestly of top of the fucking world.

In March of 2018, I met a boy. He was filling in from another store while we were short staffed. He was big and he was goofy and about as friendly as a stranger can get. Something about him drew me toward him. I knew from the day we met, that he was someone special. After a few days of chatting and working together, we and two other worker friends of mine hung out after work one day. He was the last one I brought home that night, and when he learned in to kiss me, I though "fuck it", and it was the best "what's the worst that could happen" decision I've made in my entire life.

We dated for one year and two weeks before breaking things off for complicated reasons. It wasn't a good breakup (if those exist), but it definitely wasn't a bad one. After we got out bearings and thoughts and feelings sorted, a week later we met up for the first time again to talk. Things weren't awkward, but it was sad. After that, we decided to remain friends for fear of losing eachother. There was a short period over the summer that we lost touch, while I was on my bender, but a month later we got to talking and hanging out again. We are in a very good place right now and see eachother often, once or twice a week. He is my best friend. And while the idea of getting back together has been kind of the elephant in the room for the last few weeks, for right now I'm enjoying the time I can spend with him.

My health and happiness fluctuate a lot. I currently just got out of a deep depression pit myself, due to denial of an environmental stressor I've chosen to ignore for nearly a year.

What truly matters, is doing my best. Finding what works and what doesn't. Keeping myself as far away as possible from where I was three years ago. The number one thing, is learning to love who I am. Changing the negative qualities that I can, and accepting the ones that I can't. Taking actions to keep myself as healthy and happy as possible while maintaining relationships and a shitty career.

I'm endlessly grateful for where I am today. I'm endlessly grateful for the journey I had to take to get here, and for the opportunities and decisions I will have in the future.

Right now, I'm finding reasons to be happy. Holding onto the people around me, finding balance between things I have and want and need, and finding goals and hope for the future. I am doing really good right now, recovering from my bender. I realized this time last year, that I will be in recovery for the rest of my life. And I know that its okay. Recovery means coming up from the down. The journey ahead looking better than the path left behind. I'm endlessly grateful.

Overall, I'm fairly happy. I have family whom I love and love me. I don't have many friends but the few close friends I have are extremely important to me. The situation at work is going better than it has been, and I'm currently looking for a second job. I've moved out of my dads house and hope to move out on my own pretty soon. Things look good right now. I have hope. I have things to look forward to, I have a better hold of saving money, and have a million things I want to save for. For instance, buying a new car and taking trips to Colorado to hold me over until I can eventually move there.

Recovery is a process I'm well familiar with. Rock bottom and I are old friends that I plan to never reunite with.

One last note I want to leave, is a message to the person I left on September 20th, 2016.

I see you. I see you as a human being. I see you as a human being with struggles. When I think about who you were three years ago, I see a human being.

I remember everything. The words said, the feelings felt, the anger and love and hatred shared. The memories and experiences, I remember it all.

I know now, especially after a similar friendship I had this past summer, what our relationship looked like. What it really was. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I saw a certain comment on social media that hit me like a train. And I had a whole new perspective to the situation.

I've always known what you did to me. How your words and your actions affected me. I know how codependent I became. How much I dreaded the idea of living life without you. How much I hated you some days and loved you on others. How desperate I was for your attention and the empty feeling I had whenever you would push me away. How grateful I was for the times you were there.

I've realized lately, of the impact I had on you. While I've never gotten your direct take on everything, I do now know some things. I know that I put you into a harmful situation. I trapped you in a spot that any action you took could become dangerous. At a young age, another person depended on you in a way that no person should. I realize now, the pressure I put on you. The damage I had to have caused at the time.

I don't know your true intentions of the time. I don't know what you thought or how you felt. I know that you hid a lot from me. I know now that it truly was for the better of both of us. I expected far more from you than I never should have asked. I see it now. I see the intensity of the impact it must have had.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did. I'm sorry for everything I said. I'm sorry for putting you in that situation that I depended on you so instensely. I'm sorry for the pressure. I'm sorry for the despair and desperation. I never should have done that to you. I'm truly, insanely sorry. I don't blame you for a single thing. I forgive you for any hardships caused. I'm sorry for any hardships I had caused you and your family. You didn't deserve it. I'm sorry.

#tw: suidice #tw: mental health #me #you #9.20.19 #9.20.16 #2016

1 note · View note

crimsonbluemoon · 6 years

Text

Prompt 5: Why do you hate me?

Good morning everyone! So I spent a good portion of the morning cranking out some of the prompts, so I’ll be posting them sporatically through the day. So for now, please enjoy this one asked for by @risualto . It’s not SUPER angsty, just a pinch, but I hope you enjoy either way!

Couple: MiniCat (Implied? Hinted)

5. “Why do you hate me?”

It’s been like this for nearly two weeks, and Mini’s not quite sure how to fix it.

He hadn’t thought anything was different between them when they met up with Evan for their trip to the mountains. The boys had spent two days together, away from youtube, stress, and everything else that could be forgotten on the slopes of the mountain. Evan had shown both of them up in ice-skating, which was expected by the ice hockey player. They had spent the night drinking and making silly pictures involving bananas as guns or phones, depending on which person Mini was taking a picture of. They had a lot of fun, simply chilling and playing video games with no concerns about face-cams or ping levels. They just competed against each other, Mini and Evan laughing as Tyler was knocked off the track for the fourth time by a blue shell.

The next day had been...less relaxing. Craig had a little too much confidence in his snowboard skills, pushing himself more so than he had in a long time. Evan continued to ask him if he wanted to get lessons, but Craig had shrugged him off when seeing that neither of his friends were planning on getting a refresher. Mini just needed time to practice, that was all. So he went through most of the day, falling over or getting passed by kids that were half his age on the bunny slopes. Tyler teased him each time he could, only elevating Mini’s desire to get onto the same track as his two friends. And despite being tired, sore, and ready to call it quits, Mini decided to trek up to the location of Evan and Tyler for his last run down the mountain. Evan was supportive of Craig, though he did question if he wanted to tackle the mountain another time. The weather was starting to get colder, the sun beginning to drop low. But Craig had shrugged off his concern with a grin and a wave before starting his trip down the mountain.

And then, chaos ensured. He hadn’t seen the rock in the slope, as the sun’s reflection had hidden it from his bad eyesight. When his snowboard smashed into the hidden obstacle, Craig was tossed into the air, his body slamming into the slope hard. He rolled a few times before coming to a slow halt, the word spinning behind his glasses while he tried to re-orient himself. The helmet he had hated wearing had been lost up the slope at some point, along with one of his gloves. The snowboard had unclipped from one of his feet, the other ankle screaming with pain while being tossed around in the fall. Mini’s head had been fuzzy for the rest of the day (he later learned it was a concussion), and he didn’t remember how he had gotten back to the house. He actually didn’t remember much of the rest of the trip, just that he had slept for a whole day when he got home.

Oh, and that Tyler now hated him.

“Mini, can you fucking hit someone?” The growl from his tall friend made Craig sigh, trying to keep his voice from shaking in anger while he responded.

“I’m sorry, I’m not the one with the gold scar and a full shield.”

“And it's not my fault you’re shit at this game.” The comments were vicious, even for Tyler’s standard. It was enough to create tension in the group, Marcel keeping quiet as he tried to heal up Brian.

“Tyler, man, can you give him a break? He’s working with like, no sleep and a focked up ankle.” Brian’s sympathy was appreciated by Mini, who was trying to hide long enough for the fortnite circle to trap their enemies. He was slightly distracted when a scoff was heard through the discord.

“If he’s going to whine and bitch about being tired, then he shouldn’t bother playing.” The nasty remark was the final straw for Mini, who let his anger show in his snapped reply.

“Fuck you, Tyler.” He didn’t care about the lost footage as he clicked out of the game, ignoring Marcel and Brian’s call of his name as he disconnected from Discord. His headphones were tossed onto his desk as he pushed his chair back, the anger still boiling in his chest. Why was Tyler being such a dick? How come he couldn’t just have a normal conversation with Mini about whatever was stuck up his ass?

Craig wanted to believe it was only anger he was feeling, but he wasn’t stupid. His eyes moved away from the brightness of his screen as he stared at the leg still wrapped in a cast. Though he had been annoyed at the outcome of his accident, he wasn’t stupid; losing his helmet and smashing his head into the ground could have ended up with repercussions that were far worse than a concussion. Head traumas were common in snowboarding, and Craig had known people who had personally gotten taken out of the sport because of a similar type of accident. From Evan’s account, his helmet had flown off mid-air, meaning his head hit the ground at full impact. The broken ankle sucked, but he was lucky that he wasn’t hospitalized.

He thought that the accident would only strengthen friendship with Tyler. Evan had been keeping in contact more, making sure that Mini was all set. A few of their friends had sent supportive texts, and made sure that he had enough content to give him the extra money he’d need for doctors visits and medication. But Tyler had been missing in action. The only times he talked to Mini were in gameplay, and it rarely was the comforting kind. Over the past few weeks, everything that Craig did was wrong. Whether it was his golf game, the card he chose in Cards Against Humanity, or which gun he picked in Fortnite, Mini was wrong, and Tyler was going to tell him. It was as frustrating as it was sad, because he wasn’t sure what had caused the huge wedge between them.

His morbid thoughts were scattered when his ringtone went off, Mini glancing over to the table to see the screen light up. ‘WildCat’ blinked across the screen, and Craig gave a quiet groan before he swiped the phone off the surface and answered the call.

“What now? Did I exit the wrong way?” Mini knew that he was being an ass, but after the last exchange between the two, he wasn’t feeling mature enough to hold back. He leaned his feet (the broken one at a much slower pace) up on his desk while his computer chair shifted, listening to the annoyed sigh on the other side of the phone.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not why I called.”

“Good to know.”

“Look, I-” Tyler paused in the conversation, his angry tone seeming to fizzle out when he started the conversation again. “I don’t want to fucking argue with you.”

“That’s all you’ve been doing,” Mini answered, his eyes casting to the side. “It’s...it’s like..”

“Like what? Just spit it out.” The clipped tone that Tyler used made Craig wince, his hand balling up on the armrest of his chair.

“Why do you hate me?” Mini hadn’t meant to ask that particular question. It had been floating around in his head for days, but he didn’t think he’d ever actually say it. The feeling had festered from a small hole in his heart, trickling out the edges and leaving him feeling more vulnerable than he wanted to admit. Even now, as he thought back on what he had said, he felt his stomach twist and his lips tug down into an unpleasant frown. Fighting with Tyler...it didn’t feel right. It was uncomfortable, and held more weight than Mini was willing to admit. He had gotten into small fights with all of his friends, but none hit him as hard as this with Tyler.

“What the fuck?” Tyler’s stunned tone caught Mini off guard, the British man blinking as his friend continued. “Dude, I don’t hate you.”

“You’ve been coming at me for days,” was Craig’s answer, hoping the slight change of his voice wouldn’t show how the shift in their friendship had bothered him.

“That’s because-fucking shit, did you see your head, Craig? Did you?” The question wasn’t where Mini had expected Tyler to go, and he didn’t have a quick enough answer to step in. “Because I did, and there...I couldn’t stop it. Your fucking head smashed against the ground like a bouncy ball. Your whole body just kept rolling, and I was sure you-it’s not like I could fucking stop you. I had to just sit there and watch the whole thing happen, and then you weren’t moving and I thought you were-of course I fucking got mad!”

“You were scared?”

“Did I say I was fucking scared?!” But from the loud denial, Mini knew the truth. Tyler had never been the one to show his feelings, not when they made him vulnerable. “It’s not like I could have stopped you. Even if I was the one who was saying shit, you’re the one who came up to the slope when you weren’t ready. Who does that?”

“Tyler, are you...blaming yourself for my accident?”

“I never said that.” Was the quick response, but Craig was ready for it.

“You’ve talked about not being able to stop me, like, three times.” Then there was silence on the phone, and Mini took a chance to press the topic. “Just so you know, I don’t blame any of this on you. Yeah, you were teasing me, but that’s just you normally. I wanted to go up there.”

“But would you have if I wasn’t being such a fucking ass?”

“Duh, I just wanted to be where you were.” The confession was fast, Craig realizing instantly that he hadn’t meant to say it. Hoping to recover, Mini gave a loud laugh, his cheeks brightening as his pitch and speed quickened. “And Evan! Both of you, really, because you’re both my friends and why would I only want to see you? That’d be weird unless I liked you or something-”

“Chill the fuck out, dude.” It was the first time since the incident that Craig had heard the laugh, and it stopped his rambling as quick as it started. When Tyler spoke again, it lacked any anger, the edges smoothed over with relief and affection. “You’re such a moron.”

“Hey, I resent that.” He really didn’t, if the smile now spreading over his lips was any indication, but he tried to keep his dramatics up by pressing a hand to his heart. “You’ve wounded me, Tyler, and I don’t think I’ll ever recover.”

“Shut up and get back in the game.”

“I thought I sucked?”

“You do, obviously. But it’s good for content.”

“Fuck you, Tyler!” Except this time, he was laughing while he said the words, the heart which had ached before now filled with a warmth that only Tyler could give him. Maybe another night, he would really question why that was. But for now, he just wanted to get back to playing the game and being friends with the other man.

And thats the end! So, writing in 2k is hard. And I feel like this needs so much more, but ahhh I did my best! I hope you enjoy it regardless >.< So as always, like, reblog, and let me know what you think! ^.^

#minicat #mini ladd #wild cat #Banana Bus Squad #bbs fanfiction #bbs squad #BBS #CrimsonBlueMoon #short but sweet

133 notes · View notes

osmw1 · 6 years

Text

Poison-Wielding Fugitive Chapter 3

“Anyway… you think you could lift this spell casted on you?” ‘If I could, it would have been done already. Unfortunately, evading the Forced Possession Summoning has spent most of my mana. Furthermore, the spell drains whatever I regenerate back.” “Yeesh.”

I made a weird noise without meaning to. Well, if you think about it, he would’ve if he could’ve, huh? And since he can’t, it’s an inconvenience for him too.

‘And that my body has been transferred away to an alternate dimension, I cannot do much to help. It is quite the unexpected turn of events.’

You think we can… talk to them about this?

‘The lot can slay a mighty dragon by just killing a complete stranger from a parallel universe, you know? Do you think they will respond in kind?’

The bastards who caused this absurd mess aren’t exactly gonna go “Oh, I’m so sorry for causing you so much trouble,” are they?

‘Moreover, they will most likely be coming to murder us. We do not have the time to loiter. After you build up some strength and I recover some mana, we would do well to run far and escape.’ “Man, what did you ever do for them to hate you so much?” ‘I know not. Humans are greedy and foolish. You are beings who will fulfill your own desires, no matter how despicable the method is, correct? It is expected that they want not only my life, but my scales, bone, blood, and flesh so that they can flaunt their power and authority.’

I don’t know what kind of dragons exist in this word, but to do something so intensely stupid like summoning me, a powerless salaryman? How much more are you going to abuse your powers for?

‘Such is the way things are. Will you cooperate with me so that we may both survive?’ “Not much of a choice for me, hey? I don’t exactly wanna die.” ‘Aye… that much is true. I am self-aware that I have suggested an unfair proposition. But, had I not counterattacked as hard as I did, you would already be dead, no?’

Tch… how unpleasant of him. The only good part about since being summoned into this unthinkable situation is that at least we managed to avoid death by the skin of our teeth.

“Are there any means to free us?”

If we can’t ask our enemies for help, we have no choice but to solve this ourselves.

‘Even I am not that familiar with this spell. We can only do our best by analyzing and testing out what works and what does not.’ “Once you find out how to solve this, you better not go and stab me in the back.”

Like, for example, what if once he recharges enough mana, he breaks free of our link by destroying me from the inside, leaving only him alive? As soon as I thought about that, a heat like anger rushed through my head. Wow, that’s hot. It’s a weird feeling. Maybe he’s mad.

‘How dare you?! Do not treat me as if I were such a despicable creature, a mere cur. I will not stand for your insolence! I am not the enemy of your enemy, rather, we are on the same boat. An ungrateful human is no more than a beast.’ “Where did you get all those idioms from anyway?”

Oops. I made that smart-ass comment without meaning to.

‘Hmm? My translation skill—Seal of Solomon—is in effect. It should be adapted into the language of your world.’

Ah, it’s translation magic, eh? How convenient. But the name “Seal of Solomon”… no, that must’ve been translated as well. I wonder what powers the skill though. Hopefully it’s not my brain.

‘I believe it is also due to this skill that you can understand the language here.’

… I see. That Arleaf didn’t seem like she was speaking Japanese, yet I could fully understand her was thanks to Veno’s powers, huh? That’s so useful.

‘Back on topic. Even if I could break free from this spell through a process like that, it would only hurt my own pride. I am a most honorable dragon, above the stupidity and arrogance of humans. I would never be able to forgive myself. I would rather stay in this form forever!’

Mmm, yeah, well… I would rather you not stay in my head and make such a racket for all of eternity. And if you think about how long an oh-so-mighty dragon lives for, my lifespan is but a blink of an eye.

‘What are you going on about? This link between us might not have an expiration, you know? We still know not enough about it.’

… you mean I might be possessed by him for centuries? Immortality may be the dream for mankind, but to live as a fugitive forever? No, thanks. In any case, even if I don’t get betrayed, staying like this isn’t ideal either.

“Is there anything we have to do as soon as possible?” ‘Hmm, good call. We must prepare before the enemy comes. You need to familiarize yourself with this world, prepare for an attack, and learn how to protect yourself. Then, we must find a way to destroy this Forced Possession Summoning.’

I wonder if he realises how lofty his goals sound. Not to mention the lack of privacy from how he can read my every thought.

‘I will do my best to attend to every concern. In the meantime, you should try your best to survive too. I will give you as much advice as I can.’ “Understood. Then let’s work together from now on. My name’s Kogure Yukihisa.” ‘Aye, and Yukihisa is your first name, correct? Let us forge ahead together. My fate is in your hands.’

Ugh… I don’t know what’s worse—being fully consumed by that shitty company or a double suicide with a dragon for the sake of some assholes from a parallel universe. Whichever it is, it doesn’t matter. I’ve now been dropped into this place to survive or die. And just like this, my fugitive life in a parallel world with Veno the dragon begins.

As I stroll in the town square of this deserted village, I double-check the facts just to be sure I’m getting things straight. Well, not so much that it’d help me out, but I should ask Veno about all the rules to this world so that things go smoothly. At least we can still try to figure things out and do some research. In the sweatshop, they demanded battle-ready troops who can start working without any explanations at all and to do nearly impossible feats. Things like seemingly endless and pointless work, meaningless meetings where unsavory higher-ups make no real discussion, and even customer service in which you can do nothing but apologize.

We had to do some customer service… but that was the roughest. It didn’t matter why customers were angry and it didn’t matter that you understood it or not. What mattered was that you could take all the blame and apologize for it. In dealings with a lot of pressure, we were practically forced to kowtow to the other party. Being an SE is tough, so getting a break from actual work was just a bit nice, but now that I think about it, it still all sucked.

‘There are many trials and tribulations within mankind as well, hmm?’

Veno takes a stroll down my memory lane without asking to do so and comments in a empathetic voice. I hope you understand you are one of those trials and tribulations. … I digress. What’s important right now is info. To be ignorant is just waiting for problems to come to you. If you don’t know why your someone is mad, apologizing won’t do a thing. … maybe because it’s refreshing to say everything that was bottled up, the other party usually buries the hatchet… and then explains the situation carefully to whom was really to blame.

Anyway, at the expense of looking like a total yokel, I’ve got to ask around for answers. But I’ll stick out like a sore thumb. But do I already stand out like this? I’m wearing a dress shirt and a pair of trousers. I look pretty different than the villagers around me.

Speaking of which, I’m really confused to as why the villagers aren’t staring at me. Even how Arleaf dresses is different, and no one batted an eye at her.

‘This is but my personal opinion, but I believe that you look like nothing more than lightly-dressed to others. Never mind how you dress, the clothes you are wearing are quite soiled.’

Ah… well, yeah. That’s true. According to Arleaf, I was floating in a swamp. That’s why my clothes are so dirty. Just in case, I should dry them out. But it’s not like they’re that uncomfortable either. And while I do want to change, I have nothing but the clothes on my back and that it’s a trivial matter. The first thing to do is to learn some common knowledge so that I don’t stand out. It’s important to survival.

‘I understand what your whole preface is about. What do you wish to learn about?’

Hmm, that’s right… I guess first off, I’d like to take a closer look at that status screen you showed me before.

‘Oh, that? Is that all? It is something you can do by yourself, you know? All you have to do is focus on your desire to check your condition.’

I try focusing after he tells me to. As soon as I do that, the status screen reappears and hovers in my vision. This world really is like inside a game, huh?

Wait, maybe there were status screens back in my world too, but what if no one figured out how to make it appear? Let’s get back to the screen for now. XP doesn’t seem that easy to earn and it doesn’t seem like there are any hidden statues either. … call me plain, but I can’t seem to accept the situation I’m in. I feel like a total mess.

Anyway, let’s continue. It really is like a game, making me lose all sense of reality… I wonder how the inner workings are though.

‘I do not know of a single person who solved that mystery. It has been in place since ages ago and all beings are able to access their status screens.’

Since it’s unexplainable, let’s just leave it at that. Knowing how doesn’t affect our chances of survival anyway.

‘But entertainment… you said it is like a video game. Oh-ho… there are various of them in your memory. They sure look interesting. Would you mind if I try my hand at them? It seems that I can access these video games from your memory.’

Don’t just go through someone’s memories without asking! And stop your gaming marathon too! I just know that Veno is like digging through my toy box and playing every console there is. Whatever. To someone who’s so familiar with games, I feel a certain affinity to this. But I still have lots to do to prepare for what lies ahead.

And I don’t even know what I should do. Should I go an become an adventurer as if this were some sort of tabletop RPG? I have zero combat experience, you know? What did you think was my job before this? SE. I was an SE. Systems engineer. Let alone fight, I didn’t even get to exercise much. If that’s the case, I might as well get a part-time job and earn some money. While we search for a way to break free of this spell, I could run around aimlessly. Fighting isn’t everything.

‘I am aware of such a profession. A part-time job… day labor is not such a bad idea, but that too would be classified as adventuring.’

After perusing through my memories, Veno answers. Of course, this world is quite the fantasy cliché, so there must be adventurers too. But a job like that could open us up to a new world. Whichever path we take, I gotta know exactly how strong I am.

Kogure Yukihisa Poison Earth Level 1 Acquired skills: Spirit Link, Poison Absorption (Weak), Poison Release

As well, all the fine details are shown on this screen… but all of them are in the single-digits, slightly worrying me.

‘Level one, hmm… Furthermore, your statistics indicate you to be quite weak. Even in the adult stage, humans are quite the fragile creature… However, in my distant infancy, I was likely about as weak as you are now.’

You don’t remember?

‘Can you recall any memories of your infancy? The distant past is but a blur.’

Mm… well, it’s not like he’s wrong. I don’t think I have any recollections of anything before elementary school.

‘My current stats are so high, it may shock you to the afterlife. You should at least gain a few levels, so you can protect yourself if and when the time comes. You should be able to quickly earn experience by hunting.’

Hunting… since it’s a fantasy world, it’s probably like monsters, wild animals, and stuff like that. Just like a game, if I defeat monsters, I gain levels?

‘Aye. Just like in with what you are familiar with, experience points also exist in this world. No matter human or monster, within lies quintessence. By defeating another being, their quintessence transfers to the victor. By accumulating quintessence, you, too, will gain levels and, thus, your abilities will improve. It is the rule of survival of the fittest.’

That’s nice and easy to understand. However… there’s one part I don’t quite get. “Poison Earth” is written beside my name. What does that mean?

‘All humans have a power known as class or profession. This power grants the beings of this world the ability to discover their power.’

Dragons too?

‘Monsters and dragons slightly differ on the technical side.’

Hmm… you can tell at first glance that this job thing is pretty important. In games, you do get a lot of effects and buffs from your class.

previously: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /next/ (full list of translated chapters) (discussion thread) (support Average Translations)

#Poison-Wielding Fugitive #Average Translations #osm #毒使いの逃亡者

2 notes · View notes

tylerhoechlin · 7 years

Text

Back From the Brink

Dylan O’Brien was groomed to be Hollywood’s next young leading man. Then a tragic accident made him question everything.

Dylan O’Brien knows you want to know what happened to him.

Some people search his face for scars. Others ask the 26-year-old actor questions about the accident in 2016 that nearly cut short his career and could have ended his life. For more than a year, he was able to dodge that scrutiny and recover in private. Now, with a new movie coming out and a press tour required to promote it, things are different.

“I was anticipating this for a long time,” he says over lunch at the Four Seasons in Los Angeles. “It used to really anger me, even just the thought of it. I just knew that eventually, I would have to be asked about this.”

He confesses these angry thoughts about as affably as any person could, as though he’s upset to even get upset. That doe-eyed decency has proved key to O’Brien’s screen appeal: In his breakthrough role as the lead of the Maze Runner franchise, he’s introduced in media res, thrust into a coliseum of YA terrors before we even learn who his character is. As he shakes and shivers and tries, alongside the audience, to make sense of his otherworldly predicament, you can’t help but root for him.

Not every actor can inspire that feeling in a viewer, but in O’Brien’s case, it’s so innate that the director of his new film, the action vehicle American Assassin, cast him simply after looking at his head shot. “I remember in that first discussion with my producers, names were being thrown around, and the one name I didn’t know yet was Dylan’s,” says Michael Cuesta. “I Googled him, I saw his picture, and I just said instinctively, ‘He’s right.’ There was an innocence and a vulnerability to him, and I hadn’t even seen his work yet. It’s an instinct you just have to trust.”

Cuesta wasn’t the only one besotted. At a time when Hollywood likes to import most of its young leading men from overseas — like Spider-Man’s Tom Holland, Star Wars breakout John Boyega, and an entire family of Hemsworths — The Maze Runner established O’Brien as a rare homegrown movie star. His profile grew ever larger while he shot the sequels to The Maze Runner and neared the end of his time on the MTV series Teen Wolf, and as work began on the third and final Maze Runner film, O’Brien started to look ahead to the future.

And then, just days into shooting that sequel, O’Brien was seriously injured in a stunt gone wrong. Pulled from one vehicle, he was reportedly struck by another, leaving him with a concussion, facial fracture, and brain trauma among his injuries. Production shut down for several weeks, then indefinitely. O’Brien withdrew from public view during his recovery as rumors flew that he might not return to the film. Half a year went by as O’Brien tried to heal and, at the lowest point in his life, mulled whether he wanted to continue his career at all. “I really was in a dark place there for a while and it wasn’t an easy journey back,” says O’Brien. “There was a time there where I didn’t know if I would ever do it again … and that thought scared me, too.”

Now, though, he is ready to talk about it.

“In a lot of ways, those six months went by like that,” he says, snapping his fingers. “And then, in a lot of ways, I can still remember that six months as if it was five years of my life.”

…………………………

Ask most young actresses when they wanted to become a movie star, and it won’t even be a question: They’ve been planning for it their whole lives. Kristen Stewart has been acting since she was a preteen, and at 14, Emma Stone put together a PowerPoint presentation to convince her parents to move to Los Angeles so she could go on auditions. But young American men seem come to acting differently — or indifferently. Channing Tatum was a model and dancer who happened into commercials before becoming a movie star. Chris Pratt happily toiled in obscurity as a Bubba Gump waiter in Hawaii when he was convinced by a customer to act in her film.

O’Brien’s foray into the industry was similarly unplanned. His parents had the expertise — O’Brien’s mother taught an acting class, while his father moved the family to California when O’Brien was 12 so he could pursue work as a camera operator — but in high school, he played drums in a jazz band instead of signing up for drama class. Like many of his classmates, though, O’Brien had a habit of posting videos to YouTube. They’re still there today: Check out his user page at “moviekidd826” and you can watch all 14 of his short comic sketches. Some of them are fairly simple, like his too-enthusiastic lip sync to the Spice Girls song “Wannabe,” and one of the uploaded clips is a teen staple, the video he made to ask a girl to prom.

Still, the shorts are clever and surprisingly narrative-driven, and O’Brien is a deft comic performer in all of them. He wouldn’t have thought of what he was doing as acting — he was just being himself, after all. But it’s exactly that unvarnished quality that made him so appealing, and as the videos began to circulate, he was signed by a woman who is still his manager today. Soon enough, he was being sent out to audition for projects like Valentine’s Day and Wizards of Waverly Place.

He hadn’t grown up knowing that he wanted to be an actor, but give O’Brien some credit: Once he figured that out, he committed hard. “My first semester of college, I’m going to sociology and English and psychology and all I cared about was getting home and preparing for whatever audition I had,” he says. “I’d be on IMDb looking at projects in development that I’d be right for and I’d send them to my manager and be like, ‘What’s going on with this?’” His ambition often outstripped his experience. “I was obsessed with having one of those auditions finally work out, and I was very impatient,” he recalls, laughing. “My manager would be like, ‘You have to understand, this could take years.’ And I was like, ‘No, no, no, I’m going to get one of these.’”

Only a few months after his high-school graduation, that’s exactly what happened. O’Brien was cast on Teen Wolf, a fledgling MTV series based on the campy 1980s movie. This version skewed darker and filled its cast with hunks, with the howls meant to come from the audience each time a sexy werewolf stripped off his shirt. It was a notable hit for MTV, and though O’Brien was cast as the human best friend — not as the protagonist, Scott, or as any of the eye-candy beasts on the show — the role was a good fit for his boy-next-door charm. He wasn’t just Scott’s friend. He felt like yours, too.

“That show really became my school in a lot of ways,” says O’Brien. “I never took a second on set for granted. Even on my first day on the pilot, when my work finished for the day but then they were going to this other location to shoot another scene, I just went with them.” As a cable show, Teen Wolf filmed only five months out of the year, so O’Brien had plenty of time to hop on to other projects: He took Zooey Deschanel’s virginity in a New Girl flashback and popped up on the big screen in films like the teen romance The First Time and the Vince Vaughn–Owen Wilson comedy The Internship. “I would want to get on as many sets as I could,” he said. “And I was still very much ambitious about being in movies, too.”

In 2013, the year after The Hunger Games hit big, O’Brien was cast as the lead in another book-to-film YA franchise, The Maze Runner. The rare $100 million hit toplined by a young actor under 25, it propelled O’Brien onto studio short lists and led to more work in bigger movies, including Peter Berg’s Deepwater Horizon and a Maze Runner sequel, The Scorch Trials. 20th Century Fox picked up an action comedy with O’Brien attached, a sign of his growing clout, and as Cuesta looked for someone to play black-ops recruit Mitch Rapp in American Assassin, based on a popular book series by the late Vince Flynn, he alighted on O’Brien.

“He looks like a boy next door, like my son’s older friends,” says Cuesta. “Like a young man who has one foot in that postadolescent place and is about to cross over into adulthood and take that rite of passage.”

In March 2016, just as O’Brien headed to Vancouver to film Maze Runner: The Death Cure, he committed to star in American Assassin, which would represent his biggest break so far from youth-driven fare. He planned to film that after wrapping The Death Cure, squeeze in some time to shoot Teen Wolf’s farewell season, and move on to the movies that studios had been setting up for him.

“To see him blossom in his career and see what he was taking on, it was amazing to watch,” says O’Brien’s father, Patrick. “And then to see that broken … it was hard.”

…………………………

O’Brien would rather not relive the particulars of his accident. “There’s really been one or two people who have tried to dig and find out what happened and I cut it off,” he says. “And I’m comfortable with where I draw the line.”

What’s known is that after that stunt on the set of The Death Cure went awry and production shut down on March 18, 2016, the studio planned to resume filming May 9, hoping to still make the film’s set February 2017 release date. Weeks later, though, it was clear that O’Brien’s injuries were so serious that filming could not begin again.

“I had lost a lot of function, just in my daily routine,” says O’Brien. “I wasn’t even at a point where I felt like I could handle social situations, let alone showing up and being responsible for work every day. Long hours on set, delivering a performance and carrying a movie … it just makes your palms sweat.”

O’Brien calls his recovery process “overwhelming,” though the biggest toll the accident took on him was psychological. Even if he could find his way back to the sense of stability he had before the accident, and even if those scars could heal, would he still want to return to the high-flying movie career he’d worked so hard to set up? After it all went away, he couldn’t even be sure he was the same person anymore.

“And then there was a part of me, too, that was feeling pressured and stressed out by the mere fact that I had all of these people still emailing me, checking in,” he says. “I would get so fucking mad. Like if ever I heard from a producer [who was] seeing when I’d be able to get back on set, I’d fucking go nuts. It would really, really piss me off.”

But as O’Brien recovered in private, rumors flew that his injuries were much more extensive than was reported, and the people behind the projects O’Brien had set up were forced to weigh their options. Cuesta didn’t want to recast American Assassin, but he also didn’t know what state his star was in. During his recovery, O’Brien had not communicated with the production in four months.

“I didn’t want to let it go, and I also had this really interesting, deeper connection to this character over the course of those four months because of what I was going through,” says O’Brien. American Assassin begins with a freak tragedy, as Rapp’s fiancée is gunned down by terrorists during a beach vacation and dies in his arms. Lost in a rabbit hole of grief, Rapp spends the next few months weaponizing his anger and decides to hunt down her killers himself. “I felt like I could portray that and wanted to be the one to do that justice — it was almost like an honor for me at that point,” O’Brien says. “But at the same time, I was still in such a fragile personal state that I had this other force telling me, like, ‘No fucking way’ that I can do it. ‘This is too soon, too soon. Tell them to leave me alone, I need more time.’”

Unfortunately, the film didn’t have much time to spare. If American Assassin didn’t go into production before a certain date, the film rights would revert back to Flynn’s estate, and if O’Brien still wanted to play Rapp, he’d have to spend two months getting into physical shape for the role. It was a daunting regimen of learning fight choreography and adding muscle to his frame that would take a lot of work for any actor, let alone one who was still reeling from his physical nadir. “I knew it wouldn’t be getting back on the horse in a light way,” says O’Brien.

And so, at the end of July, he recommitted to American Assassin. It was a signal to the industry that he wanted to work again, even if, privately, he still wondered if he’d be able to make it through. On the one hand, the time O’Brien spent in the gym with action coordinator Roger Yuan gave him something that he could focus on during those long days. But even as he grew physically stronger, O’Brien was still struggling with heavy emotional and psychological episodes during his recovery.

“Sometimes I’d literally show up at the gym having a panic attack, and my trainer would be like, ‘All right, let’s just go get breakfast,’” says O’Brien, who came to treat Yuan almost like a therapist. “I can’t give enough credit to him … he was really there for me, and not just like a trainer where it’s like, ‘Well, come on, man, I gotta pump you up.’ He cared more about my mind and the state that I was in.”

Near the end of their training, O’Brien was in the best physical shape he’d ever been, an unlikely development given the events of the last few months. But despite all that training to become Mitch Rapp, O’Brien’s anxiety only grew as the start date drew near. The day he was supposed to fly to London to prepare to film the movie, O’Brien had what he describes as an emotional breakdown in the airport. With his father and girlfriend Britt Robertson by his side, he questioned whether he could continue.

“I didn’t even think they’d let me on the plane, to be honest,” he says. “I must have looked high or something.” O’Brien’s father, who had planned to spend the first few weeks in London getting his son acclimated, proved to be the rock he needed in that moment. “I don’t think I would have been able to step onto the plane without him,” says O’Brien.

“That was a tough year for us,” says his father Patrick. “It was hard to see him like that … he’s such a special kid.” Patrick had never set foot on one of Dylan’s sets before — “I thought it was important to let it be his life and not be mine” — but on the first day Dylan shot American Assassin, he knew he had to be there. “It was mind-blowing,” says Patrick. “I was watching him from the monitors, and he was busting out 50 push-ups in between takes.”

It was all for a wordless sequence where we catch up with Mitch months after his fiancée’s death, watching him train and harden himself in his dark apartment. As O’Brien walloped on a punching bag and bust out dozens of pull-ups, the intensity was like nothing Patrick had seen from his son before: “Obviously, I’m getting concerned. I’m watching the monitors and I’m seeing the stress he’s putting on his body and his face and all the places that have been of some concern of late.”

When Cuesta called “cut,” Patrick walked past the first assistant director and up to Dylan. “I was almost nose to nose with him, and I’m not sure he saw me right away. He was in it, as much as you can be in it. And I said, ‘Dylan?’ He looked at me and kind of focused. And I said, ‘Are you okay?’ And he said, ‘I’m good.’”

“If he didn’t have the accident,” says Cuesta, “would he have connected that well with Mitch? I don’t know, but it definitely brought truth to it.”

O’Brien acknowledges that, too. “I’d just been through a lot that summer and the fact that you spend all this time not even knowing if you can do that again …” He pauses, and swallows. “Even right now, it’s just kind of hard to talk about.”

It helps, he says, that Patrick came aboard for the rest of the shoot as a camera operator, staying by his side when he needed him most. With his father there, he could be fearless. “I would just think about where I was at psychologically in June and July, how insurmountable the task seemed to me,” says O’Brien. “And then just to be there on the last day knowing that I did it, with my dad there at my side, it was just a really, really great feeling.”

“He’s in a good place now,” says Patrick. “And nothing makes a parent happier.”

…………………………

O’Brien doesn’t sugarcoat his recovery. Sitting in front of me at lunch, he looks every inch the movie star he was before: hair tousled, eyes bright, his face covered only by stubble. He is candid about what it took to get to this point, though, and even after filming American Assassin, the question remained: Was he ready to finish Maze Runner: The Death Cure, putting to bed the series that had given him so much and taken plenty, too?

“Nothing inside of you wants to go back to that,” O’Brien admits. “It took a lot of deep searching past those gut instincts that I was having just because of the trauma that I experienced to realize that I did want to finish it.”

Did he consider asking the studio to move on without him? “I wouldn’t have been ultimately happy with that, I don’t think. In the moment, it would have been a temporary relief because I would have run from it, but it would have always stuck with me a little bit … I knew it was going to be really hard, harder than Assassin probably, but [I thought] if I got through that, I can get through this, and I think I’ll come out of the other side being really happy that I did it. And I did.”

He resumed filming The Death Cure in March, which is now set for release in January 2018. His father followed him to South Africa, where the movie was shot, and was made a co-producer on the film; O’Brien now counts it among his best experiences on a project. He even found time to return to the final season of Teen Wolf, which had written around his absence while he recovered. The series finale of that show will air on September 24, and soon enough, every obligation O’Brien had set before his accident will be behind him.

“Coming out of the other side of all this is basically a whole new chapter, and I think I will be going about it differently,” he says. “I’m excited to have more balance going forward. Like, I’m not somebody I don’t think who’s going to do three or four movies a year and feel like I have to constantly pump them out. I think there’s something to be said about pacing yourself.”

In the meantime, he’s bought his first house, which gives him a little stability in an uncertain industry. He recently threw a party there to celebrate his 26th birthday — “It turned into more of a rager than I intended it to be,” he laughs — and an hour into it, O’Brien and his friends were already jumping off the roof into his pool. It’s a future that he could not have imagined just a year and a half ago.

“I’m excited to see what comes my way, see what I’m interested in next, and just see what happens,” says O’Brien. After Teen Wolf and The Maze Runner conclude, it’s wide-open space. “It’s the first time that I’ll be operating in my career without those two roles, really.”

He thinks about it and smiles. “It’s good, though, to not have that safety net.”

[source: Vulture]

#wow #dylan o'brien #american assassin #this was really hard to read #article #vulture #accident #recovery #patrick o'brien #michael cuesta #scruffysterekposts

276 notes · View notes