#red dead antonia

[witcheroftheslothschool]

Red Rising Re-Read: Mentions of Mustang and Darrow’s Relationship in between Red Rising and Golden Son

I’m sure I’ve missed a few, but here are all quotes I collected, I desperately need a fanfiction of their time between Institute and Academy.

But I miss the kindest of them. The one who asked me to stay as I bid her and Mars goodbye on her balcony almost a year ago. Mustang. I gave her a horse-crested gold ring as a parting gift, and she gave me a razor. Fitting. The taste of her tears grows stale in memory. I have not heard from her since I left Mars. - Golden Son

I’m reminded of the warmth of her flesh, the mischief in her voice, the smell at the nape of her neck, the kindness of her heart. I stare so hard I almost miss her escort. - Golden Son

When I feel dirt, I honor Eo. And when I see fire, I remember the warmth and flicker of the flames across Mustang’s skin as we lay in our chamber of ice and snow. - Golden Son Note: Could also be a hint at their time in the cave during Red Rising.

I remember the warmth of Pax’s blood. The chill of Lea’s pale face in the cold morning after Antonia butchered her. The grainy red smear of haemanthus blossom. Mustang’s bare hip as we lay by the fire. - Golden Son

She’s never pried. She’s never asked about Eo, not when we shared time together after the institute when I was a rising lancer. Not when we rode horses at her family’s estate or walked through the gardens or dove in the coral reefs. I thought she must have forgotten I whispered the name of another girl as I lay with her in the institute’s snows. How stupid of me. How could she forget? How could it not linger there inside her, forcing her to wonder, as she lay with her head on my chest listening to my heart beat, if it didn’t belong to another girl, a dead girl. - Golden Son

I’ve sunken into memory, where this Golden game ones seemed so easy. What has changed? Mustang. “You’re more than this,” she whispered as I left her for the Academy. Tears swelled in her eyes, though her voice did not waver. “You don’t have to be a killer. You don’t have to court war.” “What other choice do I have?” I asked. “Me. I’m the other choice. Stay for me. Stay for what might be. At the institute, you made followers of boys and girls who have never known loyalty. If you go to the Academy, you abandon that to be my father’s warlord. That’s not what you are. That is not the man I…” She did not turn, but her face changed as her sentence trailed away, lips drawing a hard line. Love? Was that what we built at the year after the institute? If so, the word stuck in her throat, because she knew, as I knew that I had not given her all of me. I had not shared all that I am. Greedily, I kept secrets. And how could someone like her, someone with so much self-worth, bare herself and throw her heart at a man who gave so little in return? So she closed her golden eyes, showed the razor into my hands, and told me to go. - Golden Son

A vision of her is spawned in the darkness like so many before it- a girl riding away from me across a field of green, twisting in her saddle and laughing for me to follow. Hair rippling as would summer hay fluttering from a farmer’s wagon. - Morning Star

But I’m a world away from her, my friends. Lost in memory. I’ve been to the Hive before with ArchGovernor Augustus and Mustang. He brought the lancers to meet with Society economic ministers to discuss modernizing the moon’s infrastructure. After the meeting she and I snuck away to the moon’s famous aquarium. I’d rented it out at absurd cost and arranged a meal and wine to be served to us in front of the orca tank. Mustang always liked natural creatures more than Carved ones. - Morning Star

+ The Society gossiping about their relationship:

“It’s your constant presence on HC talk shows.” “I’ve never gone on the HC! I don’t even watch it!” “Oh, please. You relish our own celebrity. Even though they mock you, you bathe in the limelight and cloak this house with shame. We know your datapad search histories. We see you preening at yourself on the HC as though it were your personal mirror. The stories run on you and the ArchGovernor’s daughter-” - Golden Son

He grips my shoulder desperately, his hand weaker than I remember. “Tell me about your life. What the Academy is like. Tell me everything. Are you still lovers with that delectable Virginia au Augustus?” He frowns suddenly. “Oh, of course you’re not. She’s with-” - Golden Son

#red rising #golden son #morning star #red rising trilogy #reaper x mustang #darrow au andromedus #darrow of lykos #virginia au augustus #mustang #red rising spoilers #re reading #reaperstang #i love them

[cleabellanov]

Budapest: we finally get to know what happened!

Well, not oficially, and certainly not in the near future. However, that doesn't stop fans (me) from having movie concepts (this post) for fun and entertainment (it's consuming my time and I fantasize about seeing it in the cinema). But moving on...

Black Widow III: Budapest

Oh and if you're feeling confused, this is preceeded by Black Widow II: Into the winter mist, also on this blog

The intro is similar to the one of the first Black Widow movie: images roll as if we were watching a documentary, not a Marvel movie. Everyone is dead silent. This is rated R, another sign it's going to be dark.

With her mind made up to end the Red Room once and for all, and given the only chance to do so by Clint Barton sparing her life, Natasha plans on blowing up the building Dreykov is in. This can happened only after his daughter, Antonia, steps in. Facing a great moral conflict, Clint doesn't accept at first. However, he understands Natasha will complete her job in Budapest with or without his help, so they end up working together.

The scenes used to show the explosion are the same ones we saw in Black Widow.

On a smoky rooftop, Natasha and Clint catch their breath, with the city sprawling below. They are bloodied and bruised, trying to find an escape. Soon, a Red Room assasin whose identity remains hidden catches up to them. They work together, showcasing their distinct combat styles and growing trust.

They have to hide in air ducts for almost one week, because that's how long it took for the Red Room to lose their trace. Natasha takes this as a great success. She believes Dreykov and his daughter to be dead, even though they aren't.

Finally, weakened and in need for rest, they arrive at a hidden safehouse. They discuss their options. Natasha suggests contacting a former Red Room contact, a woman named Yulia, who might know escape routes. This is a new character we've never seen before, but heard of several times in the previous movie. She is the same woman that helped her and Bucky Barnes remain together for so long, until the separation that occured with her last mission, and the only one that would count: Budapest. She knew there was no way back now. Nothing of this is said out loud to Clint.

Clint expresses reservations, fearing S.H.I.E.L.D. may not accept them after defying orders. He also reveals internal conflict about leaving his loyalty behind. In a moment of carelessness, he also mentions the code name Mockingbird, which Natasha recognises from her former missions. She doesn't know of the connection the woman has with Clint, though.

They ultimately decide to trust Yulia, recognizing their need for help.

Meeting her in a bustling Budapest café, they learn about a covert extraction point arranged by an unknown benefactor. Hesitantly, they agree, aware of the risks. The journey to the extraction point involves tense encounters with Red Room agents and Budapest's criminal underworld. We see a lot of flashbacks from both Clint's and Natasha's past.

Reaching the extraction point, the benefactor is revealed to be Nick Fury, who was observing them from the shadows. He offers Natasha a deal: join S.H.I.E.L.D. and use her skills against threats like the Red Room in exchange for protection and a new identity.

Her choice is disrupt by a Red Room attack. In the ensuing chaos, she confronts a former trainer, reveal ing the Red Room's true reach and sinister objectives. She is given one last choice to stay by their side, as she always had. The one speaking is no other than Melina. Natasha looks for Yelena in the other widows, but she isn't there.

"I never wanted to be your agent" she says to them, in English, altough she was adressed in Russian. "But I can become your worst mistake".

In a burst of action, the fight begins again. Yulia sacrifices herself, offerings the others a chance to escape.

Leaving Budapest on a S.H.I.E.L.D plane, changed by everything that happened, Natasha accept Fury's offer, haunted by ghosts of her past but determined to forge a new path.

The closing scenes show Maria Hill, adressing one intriguing question to Clint and Natasha.

"Have you ever heard about the Avengers initiative?"

#marvel #black widow #movie concept #fanmade #clint barton #hawkeye #natasha romanoff #nick fury #maria hill #budapest #agents of shield #i feel like actually writing a fic about this lmao #fanfiction #mcu #the winter soldier #buckynat

[romanoffscottage]

you don’t have to be sorry

a/n: so sorry I was gone for so long, but I’m back!

warnings: black widow spoilers 

pairing: natasha romanoff x reader

summary: after the events of black widow, natasha comes home to you feeling guilty for leaving her family when she was younger (based on matilda by harry styles)

words: 808 | natasha x reader masterlist | navigation post

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated and welcomed <3

Natasha was the strongest person you have ever known, so when she went off the grid, you know she was safe. Months passed with no word from Nat, but you knew, she was going to be okay. You knew she would reach out when it was safe. Most people thought you were crazy for having such faith, but they didn't know Nat like you did. No one could kill her unless she let them.

When Nat finally reached out to you, it was not how you imagined. You imagined a cryptic set of coordinates you were supposed to meet her at. You imagined meeting her at one of her hundreds of safe houses. You did not imagine her just showing up at your front door.

“Natasha?” She looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks. The redhead didn’t give you an answer, she just wrapped her arms around you tightly. “Nat?” You said again, trying to see if she was okay. She muttered a barely audible “hi” back to you.

You carefully lead Nat into the house and sat her on the couch, “Do you want to go freshen up, or do you want to talk first?” You knew giving her choices always helped her. The redhead didn't answer, she only looked to the staircase, which you knew was an indication that she wanted to take a moment to freshen up first.

You carried Nat upstairs and gave her some privacy and all the time she needed to get herself situated. In the meantime, you took it upon yourself to grab some blankets, water, Nat’s favorite snacks, and light Nat’s favorite candle in the bedroom.

Forty-five minutes later Nat reappeared in the doorway of your bedroom. “Feel any better?”

“A little,” she responded, still looking very shaken up, “I messed up.”

You patted the space in bed next to you, “What are you talking about?” Nat crawled in next to you as you pulled her in close, “I didn’t actually kill Dreykov all those years ago, or his daughter.” Nat had told you the story of what happened in Budapest a few years ago, you knew how much that haunted her to this day. “Wait what? I don’t-”

“Me either, but he’s dead now and Antonia is safe now,” Natasha responded on the verge of tears. “Nat I’m so sorry you had to-”

“The red room wasn’t gone all this time, there wer- are thousands of girls that were under his control, Y/N they were completely mind controlled by him, because of me.”

“Woah woah woah, why is this your fault?”

“When I got out, when I defected, he made it harder for anyone to ever do that again.”

“How do you even-” Nat cut you off before you could even finish your sentence. “I found Yelena.” You had heard endless stories about Yelena and Ohio and Nat’s “family.”

“Yelena was under his control this entire time, so was Antonia. I can’t believe I didn’t look for her.”

“You thought she wanted nothing to do with you love…” You said trying to get her to stop blaming herself. “I should have stayed, I shouldn’t have left her, I-”

“Nat you don’t have to be sorry for doing what you had to do to survive.” Natasha looked at you with tears spilling out of her eyes, “But I left her, I left everyone.”

“But that wasn’t your intention, you thought the red room was gone. You thought Yelena was mad at you. You thought she didn’t want to see you, so you respected her space.” Natasha immediately curled into and sobbed.

“I saw Melina and Alexi too,” she said inbetween her sobs. You knew that Nat had a complicated relationship with them, she never viewed them as her “parents” because she knew Ohio was fake the whole time. “Y/N I feel guilty, Yelean said that Ohio was the best years of her life and that we lied to her about it, and we did lie, I lied, I-”

“Natasha you were eleven years old, you were trying to protect her, you were just a kid.”

“Yeah but I grew up and I left her behind. I left all of them and I-”

“You don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up.” Natasha looked up at you with a look on her face that you have never seen before. “Thank you.”

You didn’t know it, but Natasha always felt like she needed permission to leave her past behind her. To move on. To be free. You showed her that moving on is okay. That moving on is good. The past is scary and so is the future. But you showed her that she can live in the moment. That she cdoesnt have to worry about what was and what will be. She was free to just be.

#natasha romanoff x gender neutral reader #Natasha Romanoff x gn!reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #Natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha x gn!reader #natasha x you #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #nat x reader #nat x y/n #nat x you #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha imagine #natasha imagines #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff imagines #natasha romanoff fanfic #Natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanov #soft natasha romanoff #soft natasha romanov #marvel #black widow x reader #black widow x y/n #black widow x you #black widow angst #marvel fluff #marvel fic

[dimeurz]

For the Sambucky lyric prompt!

"Cause I'm useless when you're stuck in my mind/I'ma lose it if you're not by my side"

this ended up being hurt/comfort kinda? sorry if that’s not your thing!

“Can you watch where the fuck you’re going?” John Walker had snarled, aggressively wiping the ketchup off his black and red uniform. Bucky had basically walked into him while carrying his burger.

“You look awful. Like you’re half-dead. Are you finally dying?” Ava Starr had asked, her tone more concerned than teasing. It’s true — Bucky’s eyebags had never been this heavy since the time he got out of the cryostasis in Wakanda.

“You should go home.” Yelena tells Bucky, shoving him on the shoulder. She takes the paperwork from Bucky’s grip. “Get out of here.”

Bucky barely moves, and he barely blinks despite the weight of his eyelids. “I’m fine.” No, he’s not. “I’ll finish this for Ross, then–”

“You almost got Antonia shot earlier. Did you know that?” Yelena asks, her head tilted. “Right in the head.”

Scoffing, Bucky attempts to take the folder back from Yelena, but she holds it tighter while staring up at him. She’s waiting for his answer, yet her expression reads as if anything he says would sound dumb.

“She had a helmet on.” Bucky retorts.

“She was covering for you because you were standing by the lamp post, defenseless, like an idiot.” Yelena snaps back, then she sighs. She wipes the hair out of her face in exasperation, placing the folder of paperwork on the nearby desk. “You are usually good, Barnes. Usually. But tonight on that raid, you almost compromised somebody. Something is wrong.”

Something is terribly wrong, Bucky thinks to himself. But it doesn’t mean he hasn’t been trying. He has tried everything — sleep, coffee, harder missions — yet nothing works and he seems to just get worse.

When Bucky doesn’t reply while looking like the saddest puppy Yelena has ever seen, she sits on the desk and waves Bucky off with a hand. She knows what’s wrong, she’s been in America too long. “Go home. I know you need to. I won’t tell her.”

Bucky’s eyes softens, his eyebrows gently creasing together. There’s so much on his plate as a Thunderbolt, so many restrictions and secrets. Yelena promising (kind of) to not spill it around Val helps. And so, Bucky turns around so quick he could’ve put a dent on the wall when he opened the door so strongly.

He runs. He runs along the corridors of their headquarters, bumping on Alexei Shostakov with a stumble, but he doesn’t stop. He goes to the parking lot, to where his motorcycle is, then jumps on it hurriedly.

The back wheel skids as he drives away. He’s avoiding the Manhattan traffic with quick swerves and turns. At this point, honking resounds among the cars and cabs in this particular street, and the only way Bucky could pass is if he goes through the sidewalk. He doesn’t want to do that, obviously, so he hops off his vehicle and maneuvers it to the side. Parking it by a fire hydrant, Bucky starts jogging north, now trying not to bump into anyone.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, a raindrop trickles down his forehead, then it pours down. Everybody puts their umbrellas up while Bucky just sprints faster without minding the amount of water hitting his face. He passes by an electronics shop, the news from earlier that made him stop and stare during the mission replaying in the screens.

Captain America, also known as Sam Wilson, is still in the hospital after a horrendous mission-gone-wrong four days ago. He has sustained multiple fractures and concussion, as well as damage on the ribcage. Authorities refuse to disclose any information about the mission. We are currently waiting for Cap to wake up and regain consciousness just outside MGH—

The puddle splatters beneath Bucky’s stomp as he turns the corner to Metro General Hospital. Paparazzi and news reporters are swarmed at the entrance, and although Bucky doesn’t want to deal with them, he braces himself and crosses the street. Upon noticing his arrival, cameras started flashing in his direction, a variety of microphones shoved up his chin. They don’t even mind that he’s sopping wet, they’re crowding into him and he’s fighting the urge to just push everybody away.

“Do you have any idea what happened? Were you with him on this mission?”

“Winter Soldier! Do you think you deserved the pardon you got from the president since you murdered quite a lot of political figures from the past? Did you assassinate JFK?”

“Do you feel guilty that you left Captain America behind? Do you think this is your fault?”

“What are your thoughts about the speculations about you and Captain America briefly dating and then breaking up?”

Bucky raises his metal arm to shield himself for another bright light to his face. The voices blend in together and he couldn’t even comprehend what the other questions are. He shoves a man lightly as he steps further to the door, but another one slithers in.

“Being at the hospital will come real fuckin’ handy for a bunch of you if you don’t stop pushing me around.” Bucky says with such roughness in his voice that everyone pauses and moves away. There’s whispering, but the camera flashes have stopped, so Bucky doesn’t care. Hell, with all the live cameras rolling, Valentina must already know that he has broken the rules again. Despite the consequences, Bucky pushes the door open and heads straight to the receptionist.

The receptionist finishes a call and looks up to Bucky in surprise. His hair is sticking right on his forehead, and it doesn’t help that he already looks too pale to even be alive. He’s sleep-deprived and he feels like he’s going to pass out if he doesn’t see Sam any sooner.

Before Bucky could even talk, the receptionist points at a hallway. “Cap’s in room 217. Go through that hallway, turn on the first left, up the stairs, and you should see where it is.”

Exhaling a “Thank you.”, Bucky starts to jog again, his wet boots squeaking against the white tiles of the hospital. Despite his low energy and worry consuming his very being, he runs and runs, as if he can’t get to Sam any faster. He feels like he’s been days late — no, seconds.

He should’ve been there when the incident happened. He should’ve been by Sam’s side, then maybe the outcome would’ve been better. Maybe if he wasn’t with another group, then maybe he could’ve made sure nobody hurted Sam this badly.

Bucky sees the steel numbers 217 on the door. He stares at it, then looks at the door knob, reaching for it with a shaky hand. He doesn’t know if he can manage seeing Sam lying there unconscious. Tubed up with IV fluid attached, he doesn’t know. He twists the door and takes a deep breath.

“Really, I’m okay. I’ve drank 5 glasses of water now, Sarah, and–” Sam complains, then pauses upon hearing the door open.

Sarah was passing a glass of water to Sam while sitting on a chair beside his bed, and when she turns to look at Bucky, she gasps and raises a hand to her mouth. “Bucky?”

Bucky doesn’t speak yet. He feels like the world has stopped, and while he thought that seeing Sam sleeping would be bad for him, he can’t even explain what’s happening with his heart now that he knows he’s awake.

“Hey.” Sam speaks first, leaning back on his pillow. His head is bandaged, and his right arm is in a cast. Even so, Sam grins and says, “You look like absolute shit, Buck.”

With that, Bucky laughs. He laughs, then he transitions to crying. He wipes his eyes as his shoulders shudder with sobs, closing the door before walking towards Sam. He positions across of Sarah, then leans down gently as Sam opens his better arm for a hug.

Bucky is home.

send me a lyric prompt and i’ll write a sambucky fic!

#asks #sambucky #bucky barnes #sam wilson #captain america #winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier #sambucky fic #lyric prompts #fic prompts #thunderbolts

[blackhiil]

Little Red

Written for Blackhill Bingo 'Red Room' While Natasha is taking down the Red room, she finds a child.

warnings: implied child abuse, mentions death

Natasha snapped her nose into place and looked at all the files of the girls that were downloading and realized she had failed. She failed Yelena, Antonia, the girls, but most importantly she failed herself. She thought she managed to get rid of the evil that tortured her and many like her, instead he hid further in the shadows and became even more ruthless and she doesn’t think she could forgive herself for that. 

She didn’t have time to dwell on her thoughts because just as she grabbed the flash drive, she heard the sound of a child crying. Natasha, ever the cautious one, took her gun out and crept toward the source of the sound. She opened the door and saw a small mop of red hair. Nat quickly put her gun in its holsters and walked toward her.

“Hi little one.” Natasha greeted in a soft voice. The child raised their head and Nat was able to see it was a little girl with the brightest blue eyes. She was dirty from the debris that was currently falling, and was only wearing pajamas. She can’t be any older than 3 . Nat thought to herself, frowning.

“Do you understand me?” Natasha asked. The girl nodded. Natasha sighed in relief that the girl spoke English, she didn’t have time to guess which language she spoke. “The building isn't safe anymore, you need to come with me so you can be safe.” Nat continued.

The girl shook her head rapidly. “I can't leave, the scary man will hurt me.” The girl whimpered out. 

“The bad man isn’t going to hurt anyone anymore, I'm going to make sure of that. But right now we have to go, so I can get you somewhere safe.” Natasha promised. She failed all the other girls, but she wouldn’t fail her too. The smaller redhead seemed to think for a moment, before nodding. She held her arms out, signaling she wanted to be held. Natasha picked up carefully, in case she had any injuries. 

“Okay, I'm going to put you inside my suit so you don’t get hurt. Keep your head on my shoulder and hold on tight.” The girl just nodded and Nat took that as a sign to unzip her suit enough so that she could put the girl inside her suit which should protect her well enough. 

Nat started running out of room, picking up more antidote as she left before dodging an elevator of fire. She shot the glass and jumped out the window to escape, latching on to railing and going into the next window. She tried her hardest to dodge the rubble falling left and right but it ultimately knocked her down and made her fall through the floor. She cradled the girl's head and landed on her side so the little one wouldn't be directly impacted.

She heard a bang and looked up to see Antonia locked in the glass cage. That monster left his own daughter for dead. “Antonia,” Natasha started, panting. “I’m gonna open the door. You’re gonna come after me. I know you’re still in there and I’m not leaving you.” She pleaded before opening the door with the passcode. 

Antonia made a move to grab her, but the floor exploded, throwing them in opposite directions. She protected the girl attached to herself as much as she could, but that could only do so much. Definitely having Melina check her over after this. Nat thought.

She dropped down onto the other platform just in time to see her sister about to do some stupid. “Yelena!” She screamed in horror, she just got her back, she can’t lose her again. “Don’t do it!”

“This was fun!” Yelena called back. Natasha watched as her sister killed Dreykov while also free falling. She jumped into action grabbing a parachute and jumping after her. Natasha somehow managed to strap Yelena and the little one to the parachute before spotting Antonia and releasing them to catch her. She was going to fix this.

After a grueling fight with Antonia, who she had managed to get the antidote to and apologize properly, she went to find Yelena and the tinier redhead. 

She saw the blonde laid out on her back, the child still strapped to her chest, passed out. “Yelena?” Nat asked cautiously. She was relieved when hazel eyes met hers. 

“We’re both upside down.” Natasha couldn’t help but smile at her words. 

“Forgive me little sister.” Natasha's voice quivered as she spoke in Russian. “I should’ve come back for you.” She switched to English.

“You don’t have to say that.” Yelena shook her head. She had already accepted that it wasn’t real to Natasha. 

“No. No. It was real to me too.” Natasha nodded to emphasize her words. They brought their foreheads together to touch, something that brought both of them comfort, before hugging. The hug startled the little one and she whined being squished between them but quickly fell back asleep.

“Uh, Natasha, who is this?” Yelena inquired. 

Natasha smiled sheepishly. “I actually don’t know her name. I found her locked in his office and I couldn’t leave her there. I think I’m going to take her with me.” 

“But Natasha, you’re on the run, and can’t talk to other Avengers. Where will you go?” Yelena questioned.

“I’m going to take her somewhere she’ll be loved and safe, the same place I’m loved and safe.” Nat replied. “You should come visit me one day.” she suggested after a beat.

“Really?” Yelena didn’t think Natasha would offer her an opportunity to go to her safe place. 

“Yeah, I know you’re going to help with the widow’s but call me and I’ll happily take you with me.” Natasha shared.

“I guess if you’re keeping the child that means she’s my niece and I must teach her everything I know.” They were interrupted by the girl in question waking up. She was looking around confused and a little startled but calmed down when Natasha spoke to her.

“Hi again, little one. Did you have a nice nap?” She asked. The little one nodded. “Can you tell me your name?” 

“Anastasia.” the girl said. 

“That’s a pretty name. My name is Natasha and this is Yelena.” She replied, motioning between them. Anastasia raised her arms to Natasha, she wanted to be picked up again.

“Okay, let’s get you out of this parachute first.” She told her before untangling her from Yelena. Ana quickly nuzzled into Natasha's shoulder.

“Anastasia, do you know where your mommy or daddy is?” Natasha asked gently. Her and Yelena started to walk to find Melina, Alexei and the widows.

“The scary man said Mommy go bye bye.” Ana told her.

“Okay, we’ll see if we can find out something.” 

After tricking Ross and sneaking her way back to the helicopter the widows, Melina, Alexei, and Anastasia were on, they were on their way to Melina’s farm.

“Do any of you know who she is?” She addressed the girls as a whole. The widows were silent for a while.

“Her mother’s name was Irina. Dreykov had her punished for giving birth to Ana after a mission, but let Irina keep her. Whenever she failed, he would punish Anastasia to make Irina do better but one day he killed Irina and locked Anastasia away. We could hear her cries but none of us could help her. We don’t know anything about her father.” The widow, Katrina, answered. 

“We tried to help and protect her as best as we could. We snuck her food and cleaned her wounds but we could only do so much before he found out and punished us.” Another widow, Naomi, explained. 

“It’s okay, you did your best. And she’s going to be okay, I’ll make sure she grows up happy and healthy.” Natasha consoled them. She was definitely keeping Anastasia now. The girls were still young, they didn’t need to take care of a child, they were still children themselves.

“Where are you going to take her?” Katrina asked. Ana was important to all of them, they wanted to know if she’ll be okay.

“I'm going to take her home with me, she’ll be safe there. After Yelena helps you guys get situated, she’s going to come visit and if she doesn’t think Anastasia is safe there, I’ll let her bring her back to you. Is that okay?” Natasha decided. She was being honest too. 

“That’s okay with us.” Naomi spoke for the girls as a whole.

After a few more hours, a check up from Melina, and a phone call to Mason, Natasha and Anastasia were on the way to Natasha’s house with some new clothes and other stuff for Anastasia. Mason was confused about why he needed to get kid stuff but Natasha told him not to ask any questions.

Nat was excited, she was finally seeing Maria for the first time in weeks. She really missed her wife and with her past coming back to haunt her, she could really use a hug. She missed Fury too, she didn’t know if he was home though, he’s been on and off world for a while. She landed a few feet away from the house, knowing Maria and Nick would need to see her walking up so they wouldn’t deem her a threat. Nat grabbed Ana and the things Mason brought and. together the two of them walked to the door which was opened by none other than Maria.

“Hi Ria.” Nat greeted her wife. 

“Don’t ‘Hi Ria’ me. You haven’t made contact in almost 2 months, I was worried sick. And why do you have a child?” Questions flew from her wife’s mouth. 

“Look, I know I have some explaining to do but can you let us in. Ana’s hungry and I need to give her a bath.” Nat asked, walking past Maria into the kitchen to make a peanut butter sandwich for Ana. Melina had done an allergy test and Ana wasn’t allergic to anything, so it was safe to eat. 

“Where did your mini me come from?” Maria asked exasperated.

“The red room.” Natasha said walking over to where she had sat Ana in a chair. “Here you go sweetie. Try this and tell me if you want something else or if you want some more.” she told her nicely. 

“What? I thought you took it down during your defection.” Maria voiced. Natasha just shook her. 

“No, Mia, I didn't. In fact, I made Dreykov hide even further in the shadows. If it hadn’t been for Yelena sending me a message, I never would’ve known.” Natasha explained sadly. She still couldn’t believe she’d been the reason those girls endured a lifetime of trauma.

Maria pulled her into a hug and Natasha sighed, content to be in her wife’s arms again. Maria kissed her forehead before pulling away “We’ll talk later. Now, is mini you named Ana or is it short for something?”

“Her name is Anastasia Irina, she's three. Dreykov eliminated her mom and we have no information on her dad. We always said we wanted kids and well…now we can have one.” 

Maria sighed. She knew from the moment Natasha walked in, she wasn’t going to let the girl go without a fight and Maria had to admit the girl was very adorable. She’s a mini Natasha, Maria thought to herself. She sighed, she could never deny her wife anything. “After we do a little paperwork, we can officially call her ours. Also, I really think she liked that peanut butter sandwich cause it’s all over her face.” Maria shifted her attention to the little girl sitting at the dining room table. She grabbed a cloth off the counter and wet it with some warm water. 

“Hi, Anastasia, I’m Maria, can I wipe your face and hands so you can be clean again?” She cooed softly. Ana put a finger on her chin and tilted her head, thinking. Maria held back a laugh at the girl's antics. 

“Yes Ria, you can clean Ana’s face.” she eventually said. Maria took the cloth and began cleaning peanut butter off of her, tickling her stomach as she did, making Anastasia laugh. 

Natasha watched with a big smile on her face, Maria was gonna be a great mom. They had always wanted kids but they could never find the right time to settle down, now they wouldn’t have to. 

“Little one, it’s time for a bath, we need to get you out of those clothes.” Natasha said joining her wife’s side.

Anastasia’s eyes went wide with fear. She started rapidly shaking her head no. “No, Ana was good. I don’t want a bath, I’ll be good.” she spit out tearfully.

“Hey, it’s okay. You are being good, you’re not in trouble, the bath is just going to help you get clean, nothing else. We won’t even fill it up all the way.” Natasha explained gently. 

“You not gonna put Ana’s head under?” the little girl asked scared.

“No, honey you don’t have to put your head under. We just need to make sure you get clean?” Maria assured

“You get in too?” Ana asked Nat.

“Yeah, honey, I’ll get in too.” Natasha wasn’t planning on a bath, but if Anastasia would feel better, she’d be all for it. 

“Ok, Ana take bath with Natty.” She held her arms out to Maria, surprising both women because she seemed more comfortable with Natasha, but Maria picked her up regardless. After a short bath and a bedtime story, Anastasia was asleep in Natasha’s arms, Maria and Nat asleep with her and that’s how Fury found them. Cuddled with Ana between them and “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie” open. He took a picture before sending it to Carol and Maria Rambeau.

“They’ve brought home little red, can’t wait to hear this story.”  

#blackhill #maria x natasha #maria hill #natasha romanoff #lesbian maria hill #lesbian natasha romanoff #wlw #marvel wlw #yelena belova #martasha #little red au #anastasia romanoff hill

[shotofzafiro]

I see so many people utterly convinced that Bucky and Yelena will have a romance in Thunderbolts. But I think they will go another way.

If they give Bucky a romantic subplot, my money is on Antonia Dreykov.

Think about it. Not only are Olga Kurylenko and Sebastian Stan much closer in age, their characters have so much in common. Bucky and Antonia were both thought long dead but were actually augmented, brainwashed, and forced to become assassins. Taskmaster was essentially the Winter Soldier for the Red Room. They share a lot of the same trauma.

And because the MCU has not depicted the popular Winter Soldier/Black Widow romance from the comics, they could retool that storyline for Antonia instead. Maybe in Thunderbolts we learn that Bucky and Antonia met 15 years ago in Russia, had a forbidden romance and were forced apart. Maybe their reunion in Thunderbolts is complicated because of her memory issues, and Bucky has to get through to her the way Steve did with him.

There is much they could explore with these two characters, and give Olga Kurylenko a lot meatier material than she was given in the Black Widow film.

#mcu #thunderbolts #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #winter soldier #black widow #antonia dreykov #taskmaster #yelena belova #olga kurylenko #florence pugh #speculation

[buckys-metal-arm]

OKAY SO I JUST FINISHED SECRET INVASION (I know I'm late to the party but it was airing while I was at Stagedoor and I have like no signal there and wifi is spotty at best) AND I AM 1. U N W E L L and 2. BREAKING OUT THE RED STRING REGARDING THIS GOING INTO THUNDERBOLTS SO STRAP IN

(spoilers below the break and also this is gonna be a long one)

So I know they've said the Thunderbolts movie is gonna have things to do with Vibranium, and I get that, but part of me thinks the Skrulls are gonna play a part in it.

Edit: HAD TO EDIT THIS POST BC I FULLY FORGOT ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF JOHN WALKER. LIKE. TRULY IMPRESSIVE HONESTLY.

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts so we're just gonna word vomit

HEAR ME OUT

This may be entire circumstantial evidence but looking at the lineup we have 3 people who fight with brute force in a hand to hand situation (Bucky, Alexei, Antonia kinda), 3 people who are shown to be amazing ranged weapon fighters (Bucky, Antonia, Yelena)

And also Ava bc I havent figured out how her specific power set factors into this theory but I think someone like her is just giid to have around for strategic/espionage/surveillance reasons.

We've seen in SI that Skrulls even without the Super Skrull machine have some sort of enhanced strength with Talos in like the first or second episode and then again during the Motorcade fight when he saves the President

(and we will GET to the president)

which for Super Soldiers might be an even match, like Steve and Bucky in CATWS

or at least they can take a lot more damage and heal a lot quicker than the others.

Ranged weapons, I mean there's a full on human/Skrull war going on now, you're probably gonna want at least some people who can stay out of direct fighting

or in the case of Bucky and Antonia, you can't have them taking damage all the time,

and then also having someone like Ava who can sneak around unseen and undetected is of course a good way to infiltrate Skrull bases undetected/figure out who all is a Skrull/again she's just generally a strategic advantage to any team she's a part of imo

The Vibranium could also still factor into it too

I mean Skrulls are an alien species and Vibranium is a metal from space like it isn't unheard of

Also I have a horrible thought that won't happen bc Chris and Scarlett are gone but Bucky and Yelena having to fight Skrulls that look like Steve or Nat respectively would make me U N W E L L

I don't think it would inhibit them tbh, I think it would go a lot more like the Mustang Vs. Envy fight at the end of FMAB where it's like "they're dead I know they're dead and the fact you're wearing their face isn't weakening me it's making me angrier"

Watch FMAB it's great

This is the scene though if you want what I'm talking about condensed, the specific spot it starts at is 4:18

Or Bucky fighting a Winter Soldier Skrull

The TRAUMA but also the CATHARSIS of Bucky LITERALLY fighting his demons

AND WINNING

Aaaaaaanayways

Looping back to the President I said we'd get to

Diet Trump over there is definitely not gonna be president by the time TB rolls around

like Fury said what he did with the Skrulls is definitely some one-term president bs.

By the time he's out of office there's gonna be such a spike in hate crimes(?) against Skrulls/general murder that no one in their right mind would back him for re election

(at least I think. I hope. I'm praying Marvel doesn't emulate real life in this respect)

So my thought is

I'm basing this solely on a rumor I heard months ago abt Ross's role Thunderbolts so big grain of salt here

that's how Ross becomes President

and , and he may run on a campaign stating he'll end the lunacy

and I don't doubt that he'd want to

but from what little I know about him he seem like an "ends justify the war crimes" type guy

so my thought is he's sending the Thunderbolts in to do something relating to Skrulls

The Super Skrull machine may be how we specifically get Red Hulk too

I know we established in She-Hulk that the Hulk blood can be injected and stuff

But my thought is maybe he recreates it or something

And when infused with Radiation instead of Gamma rays (I don't know science they might be too different idk) it gives us Red Hulk instead of the usual Hulks we get, or anything like Abomination

That one has less backing it I just think it's neat

But idk those are my theories pls tell me what y'all think I have so many thoughts

#secret invasion #the thunderbolts #mcu thunderbolts #skrulls #bucky barnes #yelena belova #antonia dreykov #ava starr #alexei shostakov #the white wolf #the winter soldier #ghost mcu #red guardian #taskmaster mcu #whatever they decide to call yelena idk #this was sent to my friend via snap in a stupor after i finished tge finale #Apologies if its incoherent #idk this was just me red stringing it out

[sxugaryx]

Too much (Fanfic)

New Chapter from my Carlo and Pinocchio AU series 💚

Carlo and Pinocchio rushed to get back to the Hotel, Carlo almost broke the front door by opening it with a great amount of force, Hotel Krat had been attacked and the place was vandalized, they needed to make sure everyone was safe; no one but Sophia was at the lobby and it made sense, no one else but Carlo, Pinocchio, and Gemini could see her, they knew that her power allowed her to project herself somewhere else; Sophia didn’t say where she was, but Carlo already had an idea, he knew that her uncle must have her captive somewhere.

“The others are hiding on the second floor,” Sophia said in her calm voice, she didn’t wasn’t a very expressive person, ever since Carlo had known her she was like that, maybe she was really good at keeping her composure, or maybe she had to force herself to act that way, Carlo knew Simon, he knew how much of a bastard he was even if he always acted nice around him.

Before they could check on them Sophia spoke up again, “Carlo, Pinocchio… they took him”

Both could feel their hearts stop for a second, and then they were angry, furious but they had to go upstairs to check on the others, thankfully no one was injured, but the atmosphere was extremely tense, Pinocchio was next to Antonia’s side, he clearly was worried that she might be hurt due to her condition, even if she keep reassuring him that she was fine he couldn’t accept it, Pinocchio waved and make gestures over and over again, he wanted to ask if anyone was truly not hurt, Carlo and Gemini had to talk in his behalf.

“Pinocchio how about you go upstairs to your room? Just, try to calm down, we can do this, we can rescue Father” Carlo said, Pinocchio began to walk upstairs, everything was overwhelming him.

“I’m sorry my friend, I should have been able to do something, I talk big game, but in reality, I’m just a coward” Venigni felt ashamed of himself, he wished he could have done more.

“It’s not your fault Ven, if it’s someone’s fault it’s mine, it was foolish of me to believe they wouldn’t come here” Antonia was now the one blaming herself.

Carlo spoke up “Alright, no one is to blame here, please let’s just focus on-“

Everyone heard loud footsteps running towards the room, Pinocchio was sobbing loudly, he was hyperventilating, his entire body shaking, engulfed in panic.

“The stalkers, they, um” It was hard for Gemini to say it, the audacity of those people, “trashed his room”

Carlo was even more furious, how dare they? Worse of all he felt betrayed, how could the Red Fox and Black Cat assist in this?

Pinocchio had his drawings in his hands, he showed how they had drawn on top of them, covering their faces with a black pen, calling him a liar, one drawing that he had made of Carlo was completely crossed, with the words “should have stayed dead”

Pinocchio’s face was red, and his crying got even more intense, he grabbed his doll to calm himself but he couldn’t. Pinocchio fell onto the floor he put his hands up to his face and was rocking back and forward.

Everything was overwhelming him, the stalkers took away his father, they hurt his friends and they broke his things, he didn’t understand why, he understand why others would do that; Pinocchio wanted all of this to stop, he wanted it all to be fake, a bad dream, this wasn’t happening.

Carlo was debating what to do, he wasn’t sure if trying to hold him to comfort him would work, maybe he would get even more overwhelmed, but he couldn’t just leave him to cry on the floor. Asking Pinocchio what would make him feel better was out of the question he was in no position to communicate.

“Oh my sweet boy please come over here” Antonia had come to the rescue, lifting her arms to motion Pinocchio to go by her side, Pinocchio ran up to her, he was kneeling as she was sitting in her wheelchair, his head was on her lap; as he cried Antonia would gently play with his hair and give him comforting words.

And so Pinocchio cried in Antonia’s arms, Antonia who he saw as his mother.

———

Everyone else went back downstairs, it was best to give them some space, Carlo was also trying to calm himself, this was unacceptable, Venigni was by his side, he was angry as well, sure he felt helpless at being unable to help but at the end of the day, it was those stalkers fault, and they had no reason to be so cruel to Pinocchio.

“I need to find them, they can’t get away with this, Simon is going to pay for this” When Carlo said that, he felt an intense pain in his head, a sudden migraine, something came to mind, but he could barely remember his memory felt foggy, but he doesn’t like what he is seeing.

He is tied up, he can’t move; why can’t he move? He can feel his body being stiff, if he was already sick and unable to move then why was he tied up?

Carlo remembers the sharp needles, he was being poked and probed. He was treated as a lab rat, as a science experiment

“You know, your father has been looking everywhere for you, he is a moron, he doesn’t even suspect it was me who took you, but don’t worry Carlo, Uncle Simon is here for you”’

He can hear Sophia crying, and Carlo can hear Simon saying… horrible things to her, things an uncle should never tell his niece.

Then he felt a sharp pain in his neck, blood, so much blood, and then… and then he was alive again, Carlo remembers that his father was crying, that he was begging him for forgiveness, for not being there for him, but he was too confused, too angry to hear his father’s words at the time, he attacked him, and his father had to stop him, but before his consciousness faded he heard this father one last time.

“I’ll kill him, I’ll kill him for doing this to you!”

“Carlo? Carlo can you listen to me?!” Carlo realized he had fallen onto his knees, he was hyperventilating and crying, and he realized Venigni was holding him, he managed to snap back to reality but now he had questions.

“How…how did I die?” Carlo sees Venigni look away, and Carlo can see that he knows the truth.

“Please tell me… what happened to me?!” Carlo is sounding desperate, he holds Venigni more tightly.

“You were murdered, he murdered you” Venigni had tears in his eyes, his uncle Venigni, who, unlike Simon, Carlo knew that he actually loved him, wasn’t a fake love for appearances, Venigni truly loved him and wanted to help him.

“Carlo maybe I really am a coward, I talk a big game but in the end, I get paralyzed and can’t do anything, but I want you to know that I will always be there for you”

Carlo just cried in his uncle’s arms.

———

After both had gained their composure it was finally time to go, Pinocchio played the secret key in the piano and both brothers headed towards the secret passageway.

Pinocchio was holding Carlo’s hand, he had his doll in the other, it was clear his distress hadn’t fully gone away, he had become too quiet, completely unable to communicate, and the truth is that Carlo was in the situation, his feeling of being overwhelmed hadn’t fully gone away either.

“Pinocchio, we can do this, we are strong enough to do this” Carlo gave Pinocchio a determined look, his brother looked back at him, now with the same fire of determination in their eyes.

Both of them drew their weapon and stepped forward, ready to take any threats that came their way, whatever they faced, they could take it together.

#lies of p #lop #liesofp #lies of p game #lies of p pinocchio #ao3 link #this is in ao3 too #lies of p gemini #lies of p fanfic #lies of p carlo

[libraryofjoy]

Books read in October 2023. This list is kind of long so I'm not going to include as many details as sometimes.

The Artisans by Shen Fuyu. Nonfiction. The author shares stories about the members of his rural Chinese hometown and their traditional ways of life. I really, really enjoyed this book.

The Story of My Teeth by Valeria Luiselli. Fiction. A gimmicky auctioneer tries to sell his audience a tall tale about his life.

Next Year in Havana by Chanel Cleeton. Fiction. The journalist grandaughter of a wealthy Cuban socialite-turned-refugee visits Cuba for a travel article but finds romance, familiy secrets, and trouble with the Cuban government. I think I would've had a better experience with this book if it had placed less emphasis on romance.

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. Nonfiction. Kimmerer, an Indigenous biologist & educator, shares wisdom about sustainability and respect for other beings, interspersed with memoir of her own life experiences.

Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson. Fiction. Two orphaned girls live with their grandmother and then their aunt as their home life becomes increasingly unstable.

Loteria by Mario Alberto Zambrano. Fiction. A young Mexican-American girl uses the game of Loteria as a framework to understand her troubled home life.

The King and the Catholics by Antonia Fraser. Nonfiction. This is a history of the fight for Catholic freedom and representation in British government from 1720-1829.

Little Fish by Casey Platt. Fiction. A transgender woman wrestles with grief, alcoholism, and intimate relationships as she investigates whether her deceased grandfather may also have been transgender.

Uncommon Measure by Natalie Hodges. Nonfiction. After removing herself from playing violin over debilitating performance anxiety, the author reflects on the physics of music and how music shaped her social location.

Deep as the Sky, Red as the Sea by Rita Chang-Epig. Fiction. After the death of her first husband, lady pirate Shek Yeung (real historical person you may also know as Cheng Shih!) bargains to bear her new husband a son to inherit their fleet. But the emperor is cracking down on piracy and she may be running out of time.

Teaching to Transgress by bell hooks. Nonfiction. The author shares what she learned as an educator seeking to bring feminist and anti-racist change into the classroom.

Paladin of Souls by Lois McMaster Bujold. Fiction. 3 years after being freed from a 20-year curse, the newly orphaned Dowager Royina Ista goes on a pilgrimage. She intends to escape the confines of her life but can't escape the gods' calling. This is the sequel to The Curse of Challion. I'd recommend this series to fans of the Queen's Thief series or The Goblin Emperor.

Poor People by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Fiction. Two poor people write letters as their prospects grow bleak and their love for one another becomes an obstacle to survival.

The Grief of Stones by Katherine Addison. Fiction. Thara Celehar serves as Witness for the Dead, solves mysteries, mentors a trainee, facing something really scary, and has professional interactions with academics. This is a character and a world that I really love. I enjoyed this book a lot.

The Oracle of Stamboul by Michael David Lukas. Fiction. An 8-year-old savant sneaks aboard her father's voyage and finds a colorful and dangerous city.

The Hundred Years' War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi. Nonfiction. The author gives a Palestinian perspective on the history of his homeland, including both broad political context and personal stories. It was chilling to hear his description of Gaza's geographical vulnerability to attack in light of the current humanitarian crisis. I've been feeling pretty helpless lately but reading and paying attention are things I can do.

Fiction:10

Nonfiction:6

Total fiction this year:40

Total nonfiction this year:42

I had a really wide range this month: the fiction ranged from irreverantly humorous to adventurous to haunting. The nonfiction I read this month approached themes of traditional living, the tandem hardship and joy of a musician's life, and the scars and open wounds of colonization. I'm trying to press myself not to shy away from difficult subects.

#gab tag #books read in 2023

[raventheenigma]

Ranwan Playlist

Here’s my mainly Ranwan playlist, it started as a Chu Wanning playlist I built while I was reading; but it became a Ranwan playlist as I kept reading. So I hope you enjoy and I hope it inspires. All of these songs can be found on spotify. Song Count: 184 Estimated Time: 12 Hours Trapdoor-Twenty One Pilots Weight of the World-Citizen Soldier Would Anyone Care-Citizen Soldier I’m not okay-Citizen Soldier Always December-Citizen Soldier Empty Cup-Citizen Soldier Better Place-Citizen Soldier Kill my memory-Citizen Soldier Mess of Me-Citizen Soldier If these scars could speak-Citizen Soldier Face to Face-Citizen Soldier Phoenix-League of Legends, Cailin Russo, Chrissy Costanza Life Vest-The Material Lil’ Red Riding Hood-Amanda Seyfried I’m not an angel-Halestrom Elastic Heart (Rock Version)-Written by Wolves Someone you used to know-The Dark Element, Anette Olzon, Jani Liimatainen The Way Down-The White Tie Affair Trench Coat Angel (Accoustic)-Tyler Ward Walk You Home-Karmina Your Light-Will Morton, Julie Wemyss At War-Letters from the fire Last Goodbye-Dead by April Unbreakable-Citizen Soldier That’s no way to break a heart-Sherrie Austin Ten Million Voices-Shaman’s Harvest It’s Over when it’s over-Falling in Reverse Last night on earth-Delta Goodrem A dangerous mind-Within Temptation Only you-Ellie Goulding You’re my melody-Arion Marionette (Radio Edit)-Antonia Oblivion-Enemy Inside False Kings-Poets of the fall Sally’s Song-Amy Lee Ophelia-Natalie Merchant Bitter-Citizen Soldier Hope it Haunts you-Citizen Soldier The Raven-Karliene Sleep-Poets of the fall End of the World-Juliet Simms Never Enough-Karliene Possession (Piano Version)-Sarah McLachlan Madness-Ruelle Stand my ground-Within temptation Hate Me-Eurielle Wash it all away-Five finger death punch The man I used to be-Thomas Borchert Shot-The rasmus He’s hurting me-Maria Mena Home-Cavetown Far from home-Five finger death punch Remember everything-Five finger death punch I apologize-Five finger death punch Wrong side of heaven-Five finger death punch Can’t forget you-My darkest days Break your heart-Natalie Merchant I’ll be ok-Nothing More Paradise (What about us?)-Within temptation, Tarja Dog teeth-Nicole Dollanganger Head above water-Roll for it War-Poets of the fall My nocturnal serenade-Yohio In pieces-Citizen Soldier Kind and Generous-Natalie Merchant Killing me softly with his song-Fugees, Ms. Lauryn Hill Illusion and Dream-Poets of the Fall Bury me alive-We are the fallen As the world falls down-David Bowie Teeth-5 seconds of summer Dig the crazy-Faith Marie Hysteria-Def Leppard Fire and Ice- Olivia Bray You took the words right out of my mouth (Hot summer night)-Meatloaf No end, no beginning-Poets of the Fall Show me the meaning of being lonely-Backstreet Boys Battle Scars-Paradise Fears Don’t Speak (Epic Trailer Version)-Hidden Citizens, Tim Halperin Eat you-Caravan of Thieves Rise/The Greatest-Jacob Sutherland My little secret-Citizen Soldier Children of the sun-Poets of the fall The unquiet grave-Karliene Over and Over-Three days grace Just one yesterday-Fall out boy, Foxes I waited for you-Valora Please don’t make me love you-Jeremy Roberts, Frank Wildhorn, Kate Shindle Fair Game-Nivek Ogre, Lyndon Smith, Adam Pascal, Emilie Autumn I am only one-We are the fallen The willow maid-Erutan Fading Star-Weaving the fate In all my dreams I drown (Room 8:36)-American Murder Song Creature of the Night-Zombie girl, Sebastian Komor of Icon of Coil Welcome to Life-Awake at last Monster- Stream of Passion Warrior-Eliza Smith, Nathaniel Todd Young, Richard Tsutomu Williams, Taylor Lorraine Miranda, Tren Kiss from a rose-Seal Love Bites-Def Leppard Addict-Jonathan Young, Christina Vee scaPEGoat-SawanoHiroyuki[nZk]:Yosh Bleed like me-Garbage All the way/4U-Poets of the fall Killer in the mirror-Set it off Bottom of the River-Delta Rae Not gonna die-Skillet Carnivore-Starset Hero-Skillet My demons-Starset Dance with the devil-Breaking Benjamin Monster-Skillet Alpha-Little Destroyer Chasing Twisters-Delta Rae End of Me-Ashes Remain Everything Burns-Ben Moody, Anastacia How do you love someone-Yvan and Gabriel Skin and Bones-Marianas Trench House on a hill-The pretty reckless This is gonna hurt-Sixx:A.M. The Wolf-PHILDEL Even if it hurts-Sam Tinnesz Bad Word-Panicland Heal my wounds-Poets of the fall Moments before the storm-Poets of the fall My dark disquiet-Poets of the fall Carnival of Rust-Poets of the fall Breath of life-Florence + The Machine Save me-Morandi Better than I know myself-Adam Lambert Runnin’-Adam Lambert Can you hear me (Single Version)-Poets of the Fall Dancing on Broken Glass-Poets of the fall Lie to me (Denial)-Red Let it burn-Red Trip-Hedley This is war-Thirty seconds to mars Again-Flyleaf Seven Devils-Florence + The Machine No Light, No Light-Florence + The Machine Good to you-Marianas Trench All to Myself-Marianas Trench Comatose-Skillet Falling Inside the Black-Skillet Memories-Within Temptation All I need-Within Temptation Frozen-Within Temptation What have you done-Within Temptation, Keith Caputo I caught fire-The Used Walls could talk-Halsey (I just) Died in your arms (Epic Trailer Version)-Hidden Citizens Amen-Frankenstein World Premiere Cast Courtesy Call-Thousand Foot Krutch A little death-The neighbourhood Emperor’s New Clothes-Panic! at the disco Pit of Vipers-Simon Curtis Cruel-Tori Amos My Skin-Natalie Merchant For the man I loved-Karliene Tears of Blood-Karliene The wolf and the moon-Karliene Alone-Heart Hopelessly Devoted to you-Olivia Newton-John Innocence-Halestorm My arms-LEDGER Young and Beautiful-Eli Lieb We won’t be falling-(Guardian theme) The Analyst-Delta Goodrem I want your world to turn-Heart I hate myself for loving you-Joan Jett & The Blackhearts Dreaming wide awake-Poets of the Fall I want you here-Plumb Lead the fight on-She is we Monster-Beth Crowley MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT-Loveless Fairytale-Alexander Rybak Words that don’t exist-Citizen Soldier A new hope-Broken Iris Bag of Bones-Mitski As long as you love me-Backstreet Boys Quit playing games with my heart-Backstreet Boys Ashes-Celine Dion Careless Whisper-Skillet Dirty Thoughts-Chloe Adams One more night-From the Ash

#ranwan #husky and his white cat shizun #chu wanning #mo ran #taxian jun #2ha #erha #playlist

[darkwaveho]

Watching black widow again and it truly makes me mad how they went about the movie.

Yeah the best parts of the movie is Yelena and Nat’s interactions however, I wish they wouldn’t have brought Antonia in the mix and instead introduced Anya (aka The headmistress daughter)

They should’ve kept Antonia dead (Ik it sounds bad but idc?💀) and truly let Natasha stomp Dreykov’s head in or something. (That death they gave him was trash and unsatisfying.) 🤦🏽‍♀️

I also didn’t like how they downplayed the severity of the red room and just went with the mind control trope for Yelena and the other widows other than the same thing Natasha went through. They also dropped the ball by not going into further details about Natasha’s past, her missions, how she was mentally…like I should’ve been in the writers room fr 😭

#anyway ignore my rant I guess #I deserved to see unhinged Natasha in her truest form #and another thing…where tf was madame B? #darkwaveho thoughts

[evita-shelby]

Between the Shadow and the Soul

Chapter 51

Taglist: @joossieisdabomb @johnathancanines @peakyblindas @kissmyquill @whitejuliana1204 @zablife

CW: attempted suicides,mentions of suicide and mental illness, hallucinations and ghosts

I cheated, i had this written since April.

This is my attempt at horror

January 1st 1918

She wears a red so dark it looks black. The diamonds wink in the candlelight of the National Palace and by the time she’s gone through the Absinthe some artist and poet smuggled, Eva is far gone.

The young witch dances with soldiers, with men richer than God, with both of Carranza’s sons and even a waiter. She doesn’t care anymore; she doesn’t care that Carranza is offended by her loose behavior or that she’s started insinuating he'll be killed in his sleep.

Eva has come to hate everything, the carefree teenager who lived to party and dance until her soles were no more had died somewhere in San Luis Potosi.

The music, the noise of guarded chattering and the looks get to her faster than Carranza’s venom. The president hates her, and why wouldn’t he? Eva was just another traitor from a family of traitors.

And here she is pouring her venom in jars of honey and using stolen kisses and longing looks to turn his youngest son against him.

Eva would get her revenge.

It is then when the guests stop being corpses in various stages of decay and return to being living human beings.

They were here, her family.

Her parents stood talking to each other in dirty and bloody clothes. Her mother’s brown coat dress had blood and dirt, her father’s tweed suit as well.

Alan’s uniform was dusty and black with blood and smoke and Gabriel was the worst. He stood there hastily stitched together, blood seeping through the sutures and some parts missing underneath his white shirt and uniform trousers.

She blinked and they disappeared as she waltzed in the arms of Leopoldo Carranza.The waltz leaves her dizzy, and once it ends, Eva makes her way to one of the balconies.

There in the balcony Feli waits with a baby in a pink blanket.

The young witch breathes in deeply, holding onto the pretty rails as she forces crisp spring air into her lungs.

“You could be happy with us.” Felicidad whispers behind her, rocking a baby girl who begins to cry.

“Don’t rush her, Feli, you know Eva likes to do things her way.” Alan, teased, drinking champagne, complaining it isn’t something stronger. He leans on the wall, like he used to.

“She can do it faster, Evita, I’ll help you if you want. All you have to do is let go.” Gabe urges her, helping her get on the other side of the ledge. Under her, her father and mother wait to catch her.

She grips the iron balcony ledge, Eva could end her suffering here, all she had to do was let go.

But the young witch can’t, something holds her back. Its not another ghost but the hands of a person made of flesh and blood holding her tightly.

“You aren’t leaving this world without me, Eva. You hear me?”

Antonia cries as she pulls her back into the world of the living.

----

January 1st 1930

“The work’s all done, Tommy. It’s all done. We can walk away from all of this. It’s so easy. It’s so soft. Such a small change.” His mother, still wet from the river, whispers softly. She walks beside him and tells him things.

He puts the gun to his head and he hears it go off.

He wakes up in the cold mud , gentle hands shaking him awake.

“Did you think I’d let you leave this world without me, Thomas?”

Eva asks him as she shows him the empty gun. She had taken the bullets before they even left the house yesterday.

“They’re dead because of me, Evie. It’s me, I’m the curse.” He cries into her chest and she holds him. She’s strong when he’s weak, he’s strong when she’s weak.

“You’re not a curse, Tommy. Billy Grade found out from Barney, he told the IRA, just an awful coincidence. It wasn’t your fault, Tom. You hear me? Wasn’t your fault.”

She holds his face between her hands not caring she’s covered in mud and cold morning dew. “Swing’s a liar, a fucking liar who just wants to see us weak. She killed Polly, Aberama and Barney. She ordered them killed, not you.”

This time he doesn’t believe her.

-----

December 1st, 1933

“I can come with you if you want. I’ve been told I am great a closing deals.” She tells him, propped up on her elbow on his chest.

Scars had healed, but not healed enough. It was difficult to imagine a world without Polly and yet here they were, four years later.

“It’s a rocky island with barely a hotel in it, Evie, I don’t even want to be there, let alone give the men another reason to kill me.” He pulls her in for another kiss.

Goodbyes took forever between them, but he needed to get on that fucking ship and have things done to enjoy Christmas and New Years with Ada and her family in New York.

Ben Younger had been transferred to the US and Ada had been more than adequate at filling in Michael’s shoes as the head of Shelby Co in America. Soon enough it would be merging with Riley International and calling itself Shelby and Riley.

Two families controlling the shipping industry by land, air and sea as one.

“I’d kill them first, amor de mi vida.” She argues. Eva knows only she can get the children ready for the holiday and doesn’t mind staying, but Michael will be there.

Things were worse than Eva could imagine.

Michael blamed them for Polly’s death. No matter how many times Swing bragged about it, Michael placed the blame on Tommy’s shoulders.

As if Tommy hadn’t been hurt so badly he wanted to end his life that night.

As if she hadn’t been the one to deliver Polly’s eulogy because no one else was strong enough to do it.

She was used to death, they weren’t.

“I’ll manage, love. Michael won’t be so stupid as to try something and if he does, I’ll remind him Polly isn’t here to protect him anymore.”

He acts as if he’s fine, but Eva knows him to his core. His sobriety may have cleared most of it away, but somethings still lurked in the dark corners of Thomas’ psyche.

“There will be war, one of them will die.” Polly’s voice echoes in her head, but Eva can see her sometimes. Right now she’s smoking on the little table in the bedroom.

“Polly again?” he asked. He saw her to, except she could handle ghostly apparitions, when they came to Tommy, they brought the thoughts of suicide back.

At least, Polly’s ghost told him to stop being a coward and live. Martha Shelby had become a malevolent entity, wanting to kill her sons because Arthur Senior didn’t want to linger in limbo with her.

“She says happy birthday.” Eva lies. There was no need to worry him. “Speaking of my birthday, thanks for the earrings, I love them.”

He laughs, rolling her under him. “Can never surprise you, can’t I?”

#eva smith shelby #tommy shelby x oc #thomas shelby x oc #thomas shelby fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #thomas shelby imagine #oc fanfiction #thomas shelby #tommy shelby fanfic #peaky blinder fanfic #dark theme #cw: suicide attempts #cw: hallucinations #cw: drugs #cw: alcohol #cw: horror

[rhetoricandlogic]

A review of The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood

March 30, 2004

In the end, we choose our point, arbitrarily: “A period, a dot of punctuation, a point of stasis.” Atwood reminds us that the story could easily end elsewhere, that endings are random, and that, for her protagonists (but not for Zenia), life moves forward and love, whether for a husband or for children, remains.

Reviewed by Magdalena Ball

In the opening to The Robber Bride, Margaret Atwood sets up the slightly ironic self-referential tone of the novel. Antonia Fremont – “Tony” – is exploring where the “story of Zenia” ought to begin…”someplace bruised, and very tangled. A European print, hand-tinted, ochre-coloured, with dusty sunlight and a lot of brushes in it – brushes with thick leaves and ancient twisted roots, behind which, out of sight in the undergrowth and hinted at by only a boot protruding, or a slack hand, something ordinary but horrifying is taking place.” Zenia is a cartoon character, impossibly beautiful: “like a photo, a high-fashion photo done with hot light so that all freckles and wrinkles are bleached out and only the basic features remain: in her case, the full red-purple mouth, disdainful and sad; the huge deep eyes, the finely arched eyebrows, the high cheekbones tinged with terracotta.” Zenia appears almost magically in the lives of three women, Tony, Roz, and Charis, and using some nasty confidence tricks, manages to infiltrate their lives, ruin their happiness, destroy their illusions, steal or extort money from them, and wreck their fragile homes.

So who is Zenia, and what happens in this extraordinary novel? The basic story is a simple one, where a beautiful women brings together three much plainer ones, and mirrors the Grimm’s fairy tale that the title alludes to. Zenia ties the three protagonists together through their mutual hatred and the desire for revenge she inspires in them. In the “present” which is as illusive in this, as in many other of Atwood’s novels, Tony, Roz, and Charis are meeting in the “Toxique” restaurant for lunch, a regular celebratory meal they have had since the Zenia’s death, 5 years earlier. All of them were invited to, and stood together rejoicing at Zenia’s funeral. At this particular lunch, Zenia, beautiful as ever, and clearly alive, walks in. Although they pretend not to see her, and she pretends not to see them, they are all aware of one another. From Tony, Roz and Charis’ initial airy kisses, they become allies in pain, hugging, shivering, questioning their world and wondering what kind of mission for destruction Zenia can be on. Internally, they all vow revenge, self-protection: “Zenia, you’re dead meat. You’re history.”

The obvious plot is about how these women work through their anger towards Zenia and what ‘happens’ to her, but this novel is really not about Zenia at all. She is a catalyst, and hardly real, with silicone breasts, a tiny Betty Boop styled waist, a nose job, and clouds of nondescript hair. She is a dream, a succubus. The real story is about Tony, Roz and Charis. The story begins and ends with Tony, and her attempts to reconstruct Zenia, which immediately sets the reader at a distance from Zenia. She is ‘out of the frame.’ It also creates another present tense – one which is further removed from the ‘now’ of the Toxique chapters. Each of the protagonists have their own chapters, and their own tragic backstories. In a combination of flashbacks which are so subtly handled that they are also placed in the present tense, and varying points of view, we begin to learn about these, empathising deeply with the tiny and lonely young Tony with her missing mother, the physically and then sexually abused Karen/Charis, or the overweight, overworked Roz. The tragedy for these women is not Zenia. All of them have serious vulnerabilities, split personalities of a sort, and have incurred psychic baggage well before meeting the men that Zenia takes from each of them. Zenia’s betrayal, however nasty, is small potatoes next to what they’ve already undergone. It is, in fact, almost too convenient that each of them encounters Zenia – that she seeks them out, and that they have already made a connection with one another prior to Zenia’s arrival. Zenia’s ‘real’ back story remains hidden. We only have her many ‘fabrications,’ delivered through each of the protagonists. She remains, as Tony clearly points out, invited in. The ugly sister – the shadow side, a summonsed harpy.

Atwood is a master of the narrative voice, and she handles the different points of view perfectly. Tony’s narrative is crisp, funny and rich, riddled with her gift of being able to convert words into their backwards images. Tony’s dyslexic capability renders the most mundane words, like “bridge club” into their mirror image, great warriors, secret codes. She’s strong, tough, able to look nasty battles, knife welding students, and death in the eye. Charis’ narrative is suitably airy. Full of auras, vitamins, roughage and karma. Roz’s is witty, strong, and loud. Their personalities come through clearly, and even their children (especially Roz’s larger than life twins) are more real than Zenia. The backstories give the novel breadth, expanding the setting from the ‘present tense’ of 1990-91 downtown Toronto, with the Gulf War, the increasing crime, the real estate developments, recession, famine in Africa, through the personal development of these women in their entire 40-50 year span. The writing is always tight, well paced, and often beautiful, taking us deep into the minds of the three protagonists.

There are a few minor things which don’t work so well. Zenia’s involvement in the war is a little suspect, as is her death, and the revelation about Larry, Roz’s son, seems forced. The writing itself is so stunning though, and Atwood’s development of the intricate strands of the story coupled with the deep psychic exploration of the protagonists works so well that it hardly matters. Atwood has complete control over the balance between perfect realism and the slight edge of mysticism that her work is known for.

Zenia may well have given each of these heroines a gift, dark and painful but also enabling. They become, through her, united, not only with one another, but with themselves. What does Zenia really take from these women? The men she uses turn out to be as false as her own history. As Tony tells us in a slightly different context, “all Zenia can get out of her is a handful of shards

”:Who was the enemy? What past wrong was she seeking to avenge? Where was her battlefield? Not in any one place. It was in the air all around, it was in the texture of the world itself; or it was nowhere visible, it was in among the neurons, the tiny incandescent fires of the brain that flash up and burn out. (563)

In the end, we choose our point, arbitrarily: “A period, a dot of punctuation, a point of stasis.” Atwood reminds us that the story could easily end elsewhere, that endings are random, and that, for her protagonists (but not for Zenia), life moves forward and love, whether for a husband or for children, remains. “Time is not solid, like wood, but fluid like water or the wind. It doesn’t come neatly cut into even sized lengths, into decades and centuries. Nevertheless, for our purposes we have to pretend that it does. The end of any history is a lie in which we all agree to conspire.”

#Margaret Atwood #The Robber Bride #mahreviews #long post

[rattlinbog]

Books Read in 2022

January

The Red-Haired Girl from the Bog: The Landscape of Celtic Myth and Spirit by Patricia Monaghan 

The Unpassing by Chia-Chia Lin

North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

The Hakawati by Rabih Alameddine 

February

The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix

The Beauty and the Terror: The Italian Renaissance and the Rise of the West by Catherine Fletcher

The Desolations of Devil’s Acre (Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children #6) by Ransom Riggs 

Eifelhelm by Michael Flynn 

The Time Traveler’s Guide to Elizabethan England by Ian Mortimer 

March

The Wives of Henry VIII by Antonia Fraser

The Salt Path by Raynor Winn

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley (reread)

The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley

April

The Parted Earth by Anjani Enjeti 

Homeland Elegies by Ayad Akhtar 

Once There Were Wolves by Charlotte McConaghy 

The Last Blue by Isla Morley 

Lone Stars by Justin Deabler 

All the Young Men: A Memoir of Love, AIDS, and Chosen Family in the American South by Ruth Coker Burns

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

May

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin

Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro 

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel (reread)

As Long as Grass Grows: The Indigenous Fight for Environmental Justice, from Colonization to Standing Rock by Dina Gilio-Whitaker 

LaRose by Louise Erdrich

A History of Native American Land Rights in Upstate New York by Cindy Amrhein 

June

Four Treasures of the Sky by Jenny Tinghui Zhang

Member of the Family: My Story of Charles Manson, Life Inside His Cult, and the Darkness That Ended the Sixties by Dianne Lake and Deborah Herman

These Silent Woods by Kimi Cunningham Grant

Darkwater: Voices from Within the Veil by W.E.B. Dubois 

Take My Hand by Dolen Perkins-Valdez 

A Marvelous Light by Freya Marske 

Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators by Ronan Farrow

July

No Exit by Taylor Adams

The Wanderers by Meg Howrey 

A Tall History of Sugar by Curdella Forbes

Peach Blossom Spring by Melissa Fu

Calypso by David Sedaris

My Antonia by Willa Cather 

The First English Actresses: Women and Drama 1660-1700 by Elizabeth Howe

English Animals by Laura Kaye

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

August

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

The Sea Around Us by Rachel Carson

Exhalation: Stories by Ted Chiang 

The Ice Cream Queen of Orchard Street by Susan Jane Gilman (reread)

The Latecomers by Helen Klein Ross 

Unlikely Animals by Annie Hartnett

The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd

September

The Island of Missing Trees by Elif Shafak 

The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd

Country Roots: The Origins of Country Music by Douglas B. Green

Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk

Golden Gates: The Housing Crisis and a Reckoning for the American Dream by Conor Dougherty

Sexing the Cherry by Jeanette Winterson (reread)

J.M. Barrie and the Lost Boys: The Real Story Behind Peter Pan by Andrew Birkin

The Lost Ones by Anita Frank

October

A History of Wild Places by Shea Ernshaw

When No One is Watching by Alyssa Cole

The Corn Maiden and Other Nightmares by Joyce Carol Oates

The Reddening by Adam Nevill

My Heart is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones

November

It Happened in the Smokies... A Mountaineer’s Memories of Happenings in the Smoky Mountains in Pre-Park Days by Gladys Trentham Russell

Pastoral Song: A Farmer’s Journey by James Rebanks 

Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres 

I Was Told There’d be Cake: Essays by Sloane Crosley

The Postmistress by Sarah Blake

The Thousand Crimes of Ming Tsu by Tom Lin

December

Floating Coast: An Environmental History of the Bering Strait by Bathsheba Demuth

Disappearing Earth by Julia Phillips

Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age by Annalee Newitz

The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories by Angela Carter (reread)

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte (reread)

Mrs. Death Misses Death by Salena Godden

Moon of the Crusted Snow by Waubgeshig Rice

#books in 2022 #books #booklr #reading list #just finished moon of the crusted snow #i haven't even thought about which were my favorite books that i read this year yet

[385bookreviews]

1.3.2 Golden Son by Pierce Brown

SPOILERS

Pages: 442

Read Time: 11 hours and 37 minutes

Overall Rating: ★★★★★ Storyline: ★★★★★ Dialogue: ★★★★★ Characters: ★★★★★

Genre: Adult Science Fiction

TWs for the book: Violence, death, gore, war, blood, murder, slavery, classism, sexism, torture, grief, child death, addiction, bullying, child abuse, genocide, mentions of r*pe, kidnapping, slavery, racism, mentions of cannibalism, cursing, colonization, drug use, betrayal 

POV: First person; Darrow

Time Period/Location: A future of genetically enhanced and segregated humans across the Solar System, including Mars, Europa, and Luna (Earth’s Moon).

First Line: My silence thunders.

The book opens 2 years in the future with Darrow, now serving under ArchGovernor Augustus, suffering a defeat at the Academy by the hand of his rival’s brother, Karnus au Bellona. Karnus becomes a Praetor instead of Darrow, and jumps him, accompanied by his brothers, sisters, and cousins. Since Darrow was humiliated by the Bellonas twice in a row, the ArchGovernor reveals he plans to sell his contract to another Gold family. They travel to Luna, the ruling seat for the Sovereign, Octavia au Lune, to attend the Summit, a meeting of the ruling Gold families. Upon arriving, Victra (Antonia’s sister who serves under Augustus), takes Darrow to Lost City, a lowColor part of the moon. There he meets Adrius, the Jackal, who has become a businessman, and schemes against his father and the Sons of Ares. Darrow makes an alliance with him, agreeing to let him buy his contact, when Evey, a Pink with ties to the Sons of Ares, enters in disguise. Darrow and Evey recognize each other, and she tries to help him escape after she plants a bomb, but he runs to save Adrius instead. Afterwards, he hunts her down, and finds her, Harmony (a Red he met when he joined the Sons), and Mickey (the Violet that carved him). She tells him that Dancer, Darrow’s recruiter, is dead, that Mickey is carving genetically modified Reds to fight for them, and that Ares requires him to detonate a bomb at the gala that will occur at the end of the Summit. Darrow refuses, saying the way to take down the Golds is from the inside, by causing a civil war, but Harmony shows him clips of Eo’s death, and reveals that she was pregnant with their child when she was killed. Resolved, Darrow decides to bomb the gala, but moments before it begins, he drugs Roque to keep him from dying. At the gala, however, he sees Mustang with Cassius (who has been given the mantle of the Morning Knight, one of the 12 Olympic Knights), and his resolve changes. He challenges Cassius to a duel to the death, even with Cassius’s fame as a dueler. Darrow defeats him, however, and cuts off his sword arm with skills he learned from secretly training with the former Rage Knight, Lorn au Arcos. The Sovereign then reveals her nepotism for the House Bellona by stopping the duel, which breaks the laws of the Society. Civil war breaks out between the Augustans and the Bellonas. When the Augustans try to escape, Fitchner, who has been made the new Rage Knight, stops them, and brings Darrow to Octavia. They play a game of truths in front of Mustang (who had infiltrated Luna) and Lysander (Octavia’s grandson), and the Sovereign is forced to reveal that she would have let the Bellona attack House Augustus at the gala anyways, and that the whole thing was a trap. She tries to bring Darrow into her house, and he agrees, only to escape from his room when Sevro, Quinn, and the Howlers come to fetch him. They free House Augustus from an onslaught of Octavia’s Praetorians, using Lysander as a captive, but Quinn is attacked and killed by the Protean Knight, Aja au Grimmus. As they are escaping into the atmosphere, Tactus steals Lysander and gives him back to Octavia, removing the leverage they had to escape. Darrow and Sevro capture a ship and rename it the Pax, where Darrow also gains the loyalty of a Stained Obsidian named Ragnar. After the ship is taken, Sevro reveals to Darrow that he is in league with the Sons of Ares. The Augustans flee, and make plans to overthrow the Bellonas and the Sovereign. Darrow forcefully recruits Lorn au Arcos, who kills Tactus. ArchGovernor Augustus is betrayed by his right hand man, Pliny, and Darrow, Mustang, and Adrius kill Pliny, and declare an Iron Rain on Mars. They wage war on the Bellonas, and the capital city of Mars, Agea, where Augustus is being kept and Octavia is also hiding. There are heavy losses from the Howlers, but the city and planet are taken. But as the Sovereign escapes, Darrow jumps into her ship, hoping to kill her. They overpower him, but not before he kills Karnus. The Sovereign, noticing Fitchner trying to save him, orders him to kill him on the spot. He doesn’t, wounding the Sovereign and fleeing the ship with Darrow, revealing to him that he is Ares. Darrow wakes a week later. He tries to mend his friendship with Roque, that has been slowly fracturing throughout the whole book. Sevro interrupts them, however, and says that Harmony, Mickey, and Evey have been captured by Adrius. Darrow goes to meet with Victra and Adrius as a distraction, and the Sons free the captives. Afterwards, Darrow reunites with Sevro, Fitchner, and a very much alive Dancer. Fitchner reveals that Harmony betrayed them, and that the reason he started the rebellion was because his wife was Red, making Sevro half-Red, half-Gold. Darrow then visits the mines of Lykos, and decides to tell Mustang the truth. He visits with his mother, who recognizes him despite him being so different, and then waits in the mines for Mustang’s reaction. She is angry and threatens to shoot him, but in the end, with some convincing from Ragnar, she leaves and doesn’t return. Darrow goes back to Agea to receive praise and accolades from Augustus and the people of Mars. Augustus adopts him as his son and heir, and there is a ceremony to be held for him. But at the ceremony, Roque poisons him, and Cassius, Adrius, Aja, Vixus, and Antonia, kill Lorn, Victra, the ArchGovernor, and others. Thanks to the Jackal, they found out he was a Red, and they give him Fitchner’s severed head in a box.

Darrow O’Lykos (Darrow au Andromedus; The Reaper): Darrow continues to be just as compelling a main character in this book as he was in the first. His constant decisions to overcome his grief and need for revenge against the Golds and stay the course of the plan for the rebellion make him immensely admirable. But he is willing to risk it all for love, as he has no desire to use Mustang or take advantage of her true affection for his own gain or the gain of his cause. He remains a flawed character, his mistakes with Roque ultimately leading to his downfall.

Virginia au Augustus (Mustang): Even though she is the daughter of one of the most wicked men in the series, she remains a force for good. What surprised me most about her character was, even though she is a Gold and raised in their superiority complex society, she has a place in her heart for all of the Colors, and mentions to Darrow several times that she wants Reformers to have a place on the Senate, so other colors, especially Reds, have a better life. She is worthy of all of Darrow’s trust and affection, despite her reaction to his true self. 

Sevro au Barca (Goblin): Sevro is my favorite character in the whole series. He takes the news of Darrow being a Red in the Sons of Ares quite well, loyalty to him winning out over loyalty to his race. He keeps Darrow’s impulses in check, and challenges anyone who questions him, including his own Howlers. His mouth and sense of humor carry the entire series in my opinion.

Storyline: As he did in the first book, Pierce Brown carries on his detailed world-building and emotional storytelling. The plot twists are captivating and leave you not knowing what to expect next. Golden Son, however, was not my favorite of the series, as the plot drags a little bit in the beginning with the battle scenes.

Representation: Harmony and Evey are shown to be in a relationship. Tactus and Roque make several comments throughout the book that have led some readers to surmise that they might have had feelings for one another. Tactus au Rath, Orion xe Aquarii, and Aja au Grimmus are the only people of color. 

Quotes: “Home isn't where you're from, it's where you find light when all grows dark.”  “He always thinks because I’m reading, I’m not doing anything. There is no greater plague to an introvert than the extrovert.”-Roque au Fabii “Friendships take minutes to make, moments to break, years to repair.”-Roque au Fabii “I will die. You will die. We will all die and the universe will carry on without care. All that we have is that shout into the wind - how we live. How we go. And how we stand before we fall.”

#red rising #golden son #morning star #iron gold #dark age #red rising trilogy #red rising series #pierce brown #sci-fi #science ficiton #science fiction novel #book #books #book review #book blog #darrow of lykos #darrow au andromedus #booklr

[casspurrjoybell-17]

HEART'S REDEMPTION - CHAPTER 31

*Warning: Adult Content* 

The Rockbridge Municipal Airport is a small affair, hardly big enough for a midsized aircraft to safely land and generally used only for small, privately-owned planes. 

The Walkers arrive slightly ahead of them, having driven with the reckless speed of folk who know their local roads like the backs of their hands. 

Ian Foley pulls his truck alongside Maria Walker's station-wagon and Jack Walker's old Dodge and cuts the engine with a sigh.

Beside him, Sam Asato sits with a little frown bending the sweet bow of his lips and Carlos Martinez has been obnoxiously jiggling his leg the whole drive. 

They're all a bit on edge but Carlos seems especially frayed.

Ian realizes that, of all of them, he's the most vulnerable. 

The Walkers are a tight-knit clan and Sam and Ian are bound on some level Ian can't even explain but Carlos is something of a loose thread. 

If he has other friend, or any family besides Toni, he hasn't spoken of them.

"Hey," Ian says, reaching past Sam to touch Carlos’ shoulder, 

"Whatever happens, we've got your back, Carlos. Don't worry."

He turns with a startled look and then smiles crookedly. 

"Thanks, man. You're a good guy."

Giving his shoulder a final squeeze, Ian’s turn away, popping his door open with another sigh.

‘People keep telling me that, well, Sam and Carlos do, at least. Maybe one of these days I'll believe it. Hell, maybe someday it'll even be true.’

As the three of them join the Walkers where they stand near the end of the runway, the low hum of a distant engine reaches us on the air.

 A moment later, a small plane comes into view over the valley's eastern edge, coming in on a gradual descent. 

As it approaches, Ian recognizes it as a little Cessna 185 and watches with admiration as the pilot brings it down for a perfect landing, slowing and then taxiing to a halt in a designated spot.

Finally, the cockpit opens and the pilot helps Antonia Martinez to the ground and hands her a pair of small duffle bags. 

She slings one over each shoulder, gives the pilot a friendly salute and then turns and walks towards us. 

She wears faded jeans over brown work-boots, a white tank-top and a long-sleeved, black and white checked shirt tied around her waist.

She looks a few pounds thinner than the last time they saw her, the well-defined muscles in her shoulders and arms standing out with lean definition under her light-brown skin and as she approaches Ian sees dark circles under her eyes and a line of worry etched between her full brows. 

If he'd had any doubts that her worry for Carlos was genuine, Ian doesn't doubt it now. 

She's clearly had a rough few weeks.

Carlos steps forward to greet her as she approaches, hands at his sides and a nervous tension in the straight line of his back. 

She walks right up to him without glancing to either side, without sparing the rest of us a look and stops less than an arm's length from him, fixing him with an intense stare. 

For a moment no one breathes and then she smacks her hand across his face, the slap landing with a solid crack.

Ian hears Sam gasp and starts to step forward but he sets his hand on Sam’s shoulder and shakes his head. 

Ian’s intuition says Toni has a lot of feelings to get through and anger was just what came out first. 

He’s proven right when a second later she drops her bags and launches herself into Carlos's arms, squeezing so tight Ian can almost hear his ribs crack.

"You stupid little son-of-a-bitch," she sobs. 

"How could you leave me like that? Do you know how worried I've been? I thought you were dead or something! I thought you were fucking dead by the side of the road somewhere, you little shit.”

"Auntie..."

Carlos pats her back and returns her embrace, choked by emotions of his own.

"Why, Carlito? Why'd you do that?" Toni asks, releasing him and grabbing his face between her hands, rubbing the red spot on his cheek where her palm had struck him.

"You know why, Tía," Carlos answers quietly, reaching up to gently grasp her wrists and draw her hands away from his face. 

"You used me. You used me to do something bad. You made me hurt somebody who didn't deserve to be hurt and you treated me like one of your weapons or a tool. I couldn't let you do that to me anymore. And I'll tell you right now, I'll give you another chance because I love you and I miss you, Auntie but if you try something like that again... I'm gone for good."

Toni meets his eyes without blinking, though her own eyes are bright with tears and nods. 

"I understand, Carlito. I know what I did was wrong. I'm sorry and I'm here to make it right, if I can."

With that, she steps away from him and finally looks at the rest of us, scanning the faces of the Walkers and finally letting her gaze come to rest on me and Sam. 

She approaches and Sam shrinks closer to Ian’s side, though, between them, Ian thinks that he is likely the more dangerous, if he wished to be.

"I owe you an apology," she says, without preamble.

Her style is forceful and direct and in that, at least, Ian likes her. 

"I'm sorry for trying to kill you, Mr. Foley and for trying to steal your demon. It was wrong of me." 

Sam is about to protest that Sam isn't 'his' demon but he stops himself in time. 

For one thing, the Walkers don't know that Toni is talking about Sam and for another, Ian senses Sam go still at his side, as if that's exactly what he expects Ian to say and he's bracing for a blow.

"Apology accepted," Ian says instead, letting her choice of words go unchallenged.

It's not that she's wrong, after all but if Sam is his demon, then Ian is equally his man. 

The way she said it makes him sound like something that can be bartered or exchanged, bought and sold, a commodity of her trade.

She nods and starts to turn towards the Walkers but Ian clears his throat and angles his one apologizing yet.

Frowning, she turns back and gives Sam her attention, regarding him with reluctant curiosity. 

"You're not what I expected you to be," she says. 

"I'm sorry for what I did."

As apologies go, Ian has heard better and wonder whether Sam will let the lackluster attempt pass or demand something better.

Sam lets it go and Ian does the same to his breath, not having realized until then that he was holding it.

"Help us figure out what's going on here, and how to stop it, if you can and that will be apology enough," Sam says.

She gives him a small smile, the hard lines of her face softening a little and nods.

Next, she greets the Walkers, who give her a wary welcome and fill her in on more of the details of recent events. 

She listens without interrupting, giving nothing of her thoughts away. 

Ian realizes that he’s hopeful they can count her as a friend because he sure doesn't want her as an enemy.

When the tale is told and they're all on the same page, more or less, we set out across the tarmac for the far edge of the airport and the wild, rough land beyond. 

Jack and Elliot Walker lead the way, finding a series of game trails that take us in a meandering but easy course to the site of the burned car.

The scene looks much as it did the last time we were here, which, Ian realizes with a little shock, was only the day before. 

It feels like a long time ago.

Toni walks forward to examine the wreck without hesitation, sniffing the air, bending to scratch at the ground, kicking the twisted lumps of ruined metal that was once Inez's prized Sun-liner.

She kneels and scratches at the charred paint with a blunt nail.

"It was yellow and black, you say?" she asks, tilting her head and squinting at Inez, who nods. 

"Well...I can tell you one thing," Toni goes on, pushing herself to her feet. 

"Whoever did this is one fucked-up piece of shit. No one who wasn't would do something like this to such a beautiful car."

"No shit," Inez laughs. 

"I rebuilt that baby from scratch."

"You did?" Toni asks.

"Sure," Inez returns. 

"No reason a woman can't work on her own car."

"You're preaching to the choir, sister," Toni laughs, "and talking to a mechanic."

Several of the Walkers brighten with interest at this and as much as Ian loves some good cylinder-based talk, he hasten to refocus their attention on the problem at hand.

"Can you tell what happened here?" Ian asks. 

"What kind of ritual was performed?"

"What makes you think it was a ritual?" Toni asks keenly.

Ian hesitates but Sam steps up before he can decide what or how much to divulge.

"I got an impression, the first time we were here," he says. 

"This symbol..."

He kneels and scratches it in the blackened dirt with his forefinger, an oblong oval, taller than it is wide, with a horizontal bar through the middle.

"Hmm." Toni studies it with an intense but not surprised, expression. 

"It's 'theta,'" she says.

"A letter of the Greek alphabet. It has a few meanings, one of which is 'death.' From what I can tell, this is a death-summoning, a ritual that calls death or a death-god, to a targeted individual. Ancient magic. Lots of variations across cultures," she goes on, leaning into the frame of the car and sweeping her fingers through the ash.

"Usually there's some sort of anchor, though. Something that marks the targets, so the death-magic can find them. We need to find it and destroy it before some poor fool picks it up. Whoever touches it becomes bound to the spell, marked as a target, and the magic won't give up until they're dead."

A sick feeling slithers its way up from Ian’s gut.

"What does it look like, this anchor thing?" he asks.

Toni shrugs, still leaning into the car. 

"I don't know. Usually something small. In some circles a sachet is traditional, in others, a bone of some kind. Pebbles, stones—doesn't really matter, as long as it's small enough for the victim to carry around."

"Would this work?" Ian asks, pulling the little black marble from his pocket with an effort. 

It's almost like another will is fighting his, urging him to keep it hidden.

Toni turns and her eyes go wide.

"Yeah... that would work. Where did you find it?" she asks, with a tone that suggests she's hoping I'll say something like, 'a gift-shop in Florida,' or 'I won it in a round of strip poker.'

Instead, Ian can only nod towards the car. 

"In there. Among the bones."

"And uh... how do you feel about it?" she asks. 

"You wanna let me hold it for a while?"

"Not really," Ian admits and then realizes that he’s already slipped it back into his pocket without even knowing what he had done so.

"Well, I'm not gonna lie," Toni says, staring at me with a frown. 

"You're probably already fucked. But at least we'll have a good chance at catching this bastard in the act."

Ian hears Sam's little fierce-kitten growl and feel his hand reach for and close around his. 

Glancing down at him, Ian sees that his skin has darkened several shades and is now distinctly more gold than ivory.

Ian catches Sam’s attention and shakes his head and he slowly turns pale once more.

Antonia Martinez is right. 

Ian is in deep shit and he is already, undeniably, fucked.

‘But I'm not worried. Sam says he's a demon, that he's the literal spawn of some unknown hell and maybe that's the truth.

 As far as I'm concerned, though, I've got a goddamned angel on my side.’

What earthly magic can stand against that?