#sorry just a silly little story I thought I’d share bc it made me smile when I remembered it just now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alreadyblondenow · 3 years

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Whenever the sun is hiding

“And I wish that she’s you. If we have met a little bit sooner I’d marry you. Why can’t it be you?”

Pairing: General!Kun x warrior!female reader, Mulan AU, enemies to lovers Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, angst? WC: 3,750k Warnings: this story is so asian because it is a Mulan AU, this is a time where women are allowed to be warriors, mentions of heavy training bc they’re warriors, cheating but... youll get it once you read it, unprotected sex, mentions of fingering, mentions of Kun fantasizing about the reader fucking him, fingering, a lot of kisses, slight exhibitionism, mentions of other idols A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I have time. I just watched the new Mulan movie, (yes the one that was boycotted) and it was amazing. To the one who requested this... I’m sorry if you’re not asian, :( but I hope you still read and love this.

Under the scorching sun in the middle of summer, warriors are trained to be prepared of what lies ahead. The power of the enemy is quickly growing by every second and the young warriors of China, and it’s very young, new and ambitious general is not going to slack off until his nation is safe.

That is why he is very hard and strict with how he teaches the warriors assigned to him. So strict that every woman in his battalion went home after the first few days of training. Except you.

It is your incredible will and perseverance to bring honor to your family that’s making you stay and helping you go through each hard training everyday. And who would have thought that your perseverance and driven soul will make general Qian Kun hate you to the core.

But that’s not the only reason why he hates you.

One beautiful night after your night duty when you thought everyone was asleep, you took a bath on the river and enjoyed your time alone. Releasing your feminine side by smiling while watching the moon, catching flowers that fell on water and tuck one behind your ears. You were beautiful, the general thought.

So beautiful that he almost did not realized that he was peeking now and accidentally saw your breasts the moment you went out of water. He then quickly hid behind a big rock, careful not to make a sound and careful not to be caught. That night, he touched himself while thinking about you.

And that is why general Qian Kun hated you. Because despite being a successful general in his very young age, he’s still a man who can’t have a decent fuck when he sure knew he needed one. You make him sin even though he’s already engaged and every time he touch himself with you in his mind, he will always feel so guilty afterwards.

Who wouldn’t hate you for that?

“Wake up, wake up my general”

There’s that soft toned wake up call again with a faint image of a woman on top of him, blurry because of the sunlight behind her that hurts Kun’s eyes and made him squint, but he knew he was dreaming.

And then he woke up.

It’s that dream again. The dream of his future wife who had been matched to him a day before he left for his duty as general. What a pity. It doesn’t look that much, but Kun was so excited to meet her in person. But the girl has been visiting her in his dreams, and that’s why he knew that this marriage is a good idea. This marriage will be beautiful, she will be beautiful and he will have a quiet married life after this duty of his.

Kun got up from his comfort and asked his assistant if you had gone home already and coward away. “No general, Y/n was seen during the morning run,” the soldier answered.

“Bring her to me, I want to talk to her,” Kun ordered and then stretched is body before putting on his robe and sit on his chair, waiting for your presence.

“General, L/N Y/N is here,” the soldier announced and Kun commanded you to enter right away.

It was nice on the generals tent, cozy and not hot like the tent you use together with the others. His things were neatly placed, and he is staring right at you now.

“From now on you will go last with everything. Last in line, last to shower, last to rest after training. Except during meals, you’re first during meals but don’t eat with other men. Are we clear?”

“Yes sir!” Of course it was clear to you but you never know why? Did you do something wrong?

But the real reason is, after what happened the other night, the incident in the river, Kun can’t risk the other men to be distracted by you. Some men in the battalion are already matched and ready to marry when they get home, just like him. So he can’t tolerate sin now and raise cheaters during this training .

Or maybe he simply just wanted to protect you.

For you it’s alright if you’re always last, what’s more important is you’re not last when it comes to skills and fighting. You were always doing great in the field, and the general was always impressed by what you’re showing. He just can’t say it out loud because it will hurt his pride. But who cares if he agrees, you’re not giving up and that’s what’s important.

Knowing that you’re last to take a shower and to clean yourself in the river, Kun can’t contain himself even though he has been avoiding you for weeks now. Yes. Weeks. But all his great efforts are coming to waste because at the end of the day, he will end up thinking about you and well, fantasize about you fucking him instead of resting.

“Maybe you like her and deep inside it’s not just weird fantasies after all,” the second general, Lucas, said to Kun while he is busy washing his hair.

“Did you forget that I’m matched already and she’s waiting for me to return home?” Kun frustratingly answered back.

“No, I did not forget that. But you don’t know this fiancé of yours, and you have never seen her or touched her,”

“Sure I did. In my dreams”

“That doesn’t count you moron. Look, if fantasising is not enough for you maybe just ask her-“

“You’re the moron, you know I can’t do that. I can lose my rank as general,”

“Let me finish first” Lucas held up his big hand and waited his friend to shut up, “Ask her truthfully, be clear with your intentions. After all, she’s a girl too and maybe she needs what you have been wanting too,” Lucas explained and left for he is done taking a bath.

Turns out Lucas was right. Whenever you take a bath in the river alone, and made sure that no one is watching, you touch yourself quickly and relieve your stress in a corner. Imagining a man whose fingers are deep inside you and imagining that you two are in a hurry so others won’t catch you.

Then after a good orgasm, you just feel silly and desperate. Why do I do this to myself, you murmured.

“Next time do it behind that rock,”

A familiar voice startled you and instantly made you shy. Did he saw you touch yourself? How much did he saw or hear? Why is he here? Did he do this on purpose? Of all people, why the general?

“I’m sorry general. I should get going...” you said with shy eyes, covering your still wet body with your thin robe and avoiding the general’s gaze that melts you instantly.

“Can you join me?” he stopped you from walking away from him, holding you by the elbow. A gesture that you can read easily. The general is not joking and he meant every word he said.

By the time he left you to go in the middle of the river, you haven’t made up your mind but you aren’t leaving yet as if you wanted to accept his offer and see what goes after. What are expecting? A kiss? A good talk? A good fuck? Why does he want me to join him?

All these questions ran through your mind as you slowly untie your robe and let it fall on the ground, walking slowly towards to the handsome man waiting for you under the moon and stars in the middle if a cold river.

Whatever happens, happens.

“So this is your decision?” He asked you calmly, with a soft smile that you have never seen him wear. “We will never speak of this whenever the sun is up,”

You nodded slowly and he came close, grabbing you by the waist and lifting you underwater so you could lock your legs around him.

“Tell me, are you matched?” he asked, looking so handsome in his damped hair.

“I am,” you answered weakly but you already got lost in his eyes.

“All the more reason to hide what we have,” he said and started kissing your neck that felt so good. Suddenly the cold water became warm, or that’s just Kun sharing an unfamiliar heat to you.

Slowly, he walked towards the big rock he talked about earlier. Feeling the water gush to your body and his hand soothing your butt underwater while making small talk. Everything feels so wrong but so good at this moment that you can only let out soft moans and listen to his groans as he was busy kissing you and kept on touching your body. Kissing your breast and licking your nipples like you were some kind of cold treat on a summer day, and you did not miss how his tongue felt around your sensitive areas.

“General-“

“Kun. Call me Kun whenever were alone,” he whispers and started nibbling your earlobe. His hands started to roam on your inner thighs, holding you with one hand and readying himself to make his first move. “Don’t make a sound,” he said and kissed you on the lips. Deep and with tongue that you became speechless and all you can do is shut your eyes close and feel this two fingers go inside your cunt. In and out you feel him under water but it sadly it doesn’t do the job.

“I think it’s the water,” he stopped and groaned quietly, his frustration was obvious. Is he really desperate to fuck tonight? “Let’s go to my tent, what do you think?” he asks you.

“N-no. That’s too much. We can get caught, I think I’m fine for tonight-“

He cut you off with a smirk and chuckle, “No were not. Were not going to get caught and were certainly not yet done for the night, unless you really want to. I can’t force you,” and again, he gave you freedom to choose. But whenever he’s like this you can’t help but feel like you’re throwing yourself to him. You just stared at his eyes and traced his soft lips using your thumb.

“Lead the way,” you said. And you witnessed him smile from ear to ear.

Quiet and very careful, you and Kun walked towards his tent and made sure that no one will see you together. Good thing the coast is clear and if anyones is awake, they should be guarding the place like a hawk. The moment you’re both inside his cozy tent, he blew the candle so no one would see your silhouettes, and of course, you did not make any sound.

He walked you towards his bed and slowly undid your robe, swiftly removing it and making you lie comfortably on his bed. He removed his robe and went on top of you immediately, staying in between your legs while he spreads kisses on your body. But you swear, you wanted to see his cock to inspect whether it’s big or can it fit?

“Don’t worry, you will feel it in a moment. And it will answer all your questions,” he smirked in between kissing your left breast while kneading the other. “Do you like kisses?” He asks as he spreads some around your body all the way down to your cunt, teasing it with a few licks.

“Now I do,” you smiled and answered his question. Reaching for his head to rake away his hair and to see how his tongue works.

Incredible. As expected and you wish you could make a sound.

Kun went back up to you, searching for your eyes under the very minimal light, “You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how” he whispered and placed a soft kiss on your lips.

“Is that an invitation for tomorrow night?” You joked and smiled through the feeling of him finally spreading your legs open and making you feel his cock slide up and down your wet slit, again, teasing you and preparing you for what’s yet to come.

“If you let me kiss you everyday then I’m considered the luckiest man on Earth”

Such sweet words you thought. But such sweet words are not easily said if you don’t like the person you’re with. In other words, you don’t know if he actually mean it or is he just trying to be sweet because he’s about to fuck you senseless now?

“Ugh- it wont go in,” he said frustrated but still quiet. He’s that big and you are that tight.

“Ahh- fuck I wasn’t ready” you almost screamed the moment he put two fingers in your hole to prep you more, making you wetter by every second.

“Fuck its huge,” you informed him when Kun finally manage to put a few inches inside. He just chuckled and lowered himself to kiss your neck, whispering, “its not yet even halfway in,” he said in a very sexy way that just took your breath away.

But before he fucks you properly, he made sure he’s looking directly to you not missing the way you will react when he finally move. And when he finally did you furrowed your brows and parted your lips shamelessly, letting out small sounds that’s for yourselves only. You look and sounded so beautiful and irresistible Kun thought and he knew right then and there that he will be addicted to you. Almost to the point of he can’t let you go.

“Please don’t get me pregnant,” you plead and hold on tightly to his shoulders and kiss him even more deeply.

“I wont” he said and spread your legs even more for a new angle. Finally giving you hard and piercing thrust that you don’t have any choice but to accept them.

The night continued as you two forget the world outside the tent. He did a lot of things to you. Completely maximizing his time before the sun appears. After the first wave of your sexual activity, to your surprise he flipped you on your stomach and made you arched your back beautifully. Spreading kisses on your back while he kneads your breast from behind, pinching your nipples and giving them a great squeeze from time to time... as he fucks you harder from behind that if anyone is listening outside they will already know what you two are doing in the dark.

And just as you thought that he’s done with you, for his final move tonight, his grand finale, he made you cum using his tongue with two fingers inside your cunt and his other hand busy kneading one of your breast.

“Your legs are shaking uncontrollably, are you fine?” He was teasing you. If you have the energy to punch him you would gladly do it but now you really can’t.

While you two were enjoying the quietness of the night, you snuggle beside Kun while he wraps his arms around you. Both staring blankly in the ceiling and both replaying what happened earlier in your minds.

“I don’t feel guilty, I hope you do too” he said out of nowhere.

“Surprisingly I don’t feel guilty either,” you tighten your embrace to him.

“Is that an acceptance for my invitation for tomorrow night?” He smiled. You didn’t answer him for it was far too obvious already.

By the time you and Kun parted ways before the sun comes up, you both instantly felt incomplete. Why? You managed to get back to your tent quietly and went to sleep immediately, Kun did the same thing but right now as you sleep like a baby, Kun was having a nightmare.

Not exactly a nightmare. But it was for Kun. His fiancé visited him again in his dreams, and even though he knew it was just a dream, he still felt ashamed that he cheated.

On the next day, as expected he was back on his usual cold and strict image like he wasn’t inside you last night. But as much as everything was bothering you and your mind was out of focus the whole day, you didn’t let your guard down still did what you had to do during your training.

“A fucking tiring day don’t you think?” Your friend Hendery whined and flopped to his side of the bed. “You were out late last night. Stargazing again?”

“Y-yes, I saw different stars last night,” you said with a smirk, confident that your friend won’t get it.

And as you did stargazed near the river that night and endured the cold, you waited for a pair of arms to finally keep you warm. And his lips, to kiss your tiredness away. But to your disappointment, he never came.

He didn’t came the next night. Or the night after that. And even the following nights. Until you got the news that he left the camp and went back to the city for serious business for a few days.

“You were just a past time Y/n. The general played you and how come you were such a fool believing that he actually like you” you frustratingly murmured to yourself while you thrown rocks at the river angrily.

“Tss. You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how” you said mimicking his words before throwing another rock, “where’s my fucking kisses now!”

“I can give them to you know if you want it,”

Finally, the person you hated so much showed up. “Well, it’s too late- general, welcome back” you bowed and gave him respect even though you know he don’t deserve it.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t be like that,” he let go of his horse and reached out to you for a hug but you avoided his touch. “Let me explain and let me make it up to you,”

You shook your head ‘no’ without looking at him. And Kun knew that this was his last card, his last chance to make it right. “I like you and that’s the truth. I realized that now during our time away, and I understand why you feel like this. I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me,”

“You’re general Qian Kun, don’t beg for my forgiveness-“

“I’m not a general right now, I’m just a normal man asking for forgive to the girl I like,” he breathed in deeply and let it out heavily, “My guilt got the best in me for the past days but now... it’s clear that I can’t lose you. Not yet and not like this”

After that night, better days came in, forgiveness was given and everything felt a lot lighter. You and Kun stopped fucking just for the sake of feeding each other’s lust and actually taking time building your relationship. Secretly. But you told him that when it’s time to go home, you should part ways and bring honor to your families by marrying the people waiting for the both of you. He did not answer you.

Of course that didn’t stop Kun from falling in love, because even though you two are in the middle of a war zone and a very sticky situation, it was a beautiful time to be in love.

And when the war between the enemies was settled, Kun wasn’t so happy upon hearing the news because this means its time to go home and get married.

After you and Kun made love in his tent for a couple of times tonight, with tired and sweaty bodies you did not care and still cling to each other.

“Tell me about your match, is he handsome like me?” He asked you out of nowhere which is alarming because he never opened this kind of topic before.

“I haven’t seen him. I left before I could meet him. But I heard that he’s brave and he can do a lot of things and that he loves his mother very much.

How about yours?”

“I don’t know anything about her she visits me in my dreams but I never see her face clearly,”

“And?” you asked because it’s obvious that he’s holding something back.

“And I wish that she’s you. If we have met a little bit sooner I’d marry you. Why can’t it be you?”

“Why? because of sex?” You asked slightly offended.

“No, no don’t get me wrong I think about you even when the sun is shining brightly in the sky or whenever you have clothes on or your body is covered in armor and your face is full of dirt. I admire your natural strength and drive.”

“This is wrong. We agreed to go home with honor” you turned your back against him and thought about what he said.

“Tell me why is this wrong? We love each other-“

“Were engaged to different people... Kun, are you hearing yourself”

“You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without and Y/n, I can’t live without you” he explained sternly. Already mad but that didn’t stopped him from covering your exposed body with his blanket and leave a soft kiss on your shoulder.

“This right here, what we have now, it’s everything I wanted and more. In fact, I could die right now, Y/n. I'm just... happy. I've never felt this before. I'm just exactly where I want to be” he whispered but he sounded so frustrated still. “In the end I’ll respect your decision. But I’m not marrying someone I don’t know, someone that’s not you, I would rather die in war,”

If Kun was being honest, he thought you would chose him over someone you don’t know. He was beyond heartbroken when you told him you wanted to go home and thanked him for everything that he taught you in the field. Not even one mention of the special things you shared whenever the sun is hiding. And on top of that, you called him general before you say your goodbye.

And on your wedding day. You were wearing a traditional chinese wedding dress and wearing a beautiful smile because finally you will meet what your ancestors have matched you with.

But just like that cold night beside the river, you waited and waited and waited.... for nothing. For your groom did not show up.

For Kun did not attend his own wedding not knowing that you were the bride.

You were both completely clueless that you were meant to be.

#nsckickback #neosmutcollective #nct-writers #cznnet #neowritingsnet #kpopcape #nct smu #wayv smu #kun smut #wayv kun smut #kun x reader #qian kun #wayv kun x reader #wayv #wayv x reader #qian kun x reader #kun fluff #kun angst #qian kun smut

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one-more-fangirl · 3 years

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My everyday text (2) - Owen Joyner

(gif not mine! credits to owner)

owen joyner x oc

summary: oc goes to a party for halloween and calls owen drunk. he’s worried

warnings: underage drinking (bc rowe’s 20), swears, mentions of sex

a/n: this has a part one that i recommend you read to read this one and a part three that you can decide if you wanna read

masterlist

***

It was a day before Halloween, and I was debating on whether to stay in my apartment dressed up and with a marathon of Halloween movies and a bunch of sweets like I used to do with Mads, or go out with Nora and her now boyfriend and some friends to a college party. Nora was very adamant on the second one.

“I’m just saying, you’ve been very stressed lately and you deserve to let go and go crazy. Get in a hot or cute costume, have fun, get drunk if you want to, maybe meet someone” she gave me a suggestive look and I rolled my eyes “Oh come on, Rowan! You need to get laid!”

“Nora!” I laughed, this time getting her to roll her eyes “I don’t know if I want to meet someone, even if it’s just for a one-night-stand”

“Are you serious?! Rowe, you spent all last year with one-night-stands! Believe me, I know. I have a list”

“No you don’t” I gaped, but Nora only hummed nonchalantly “Why would you have that?!”

“Well, people were coming in and out of here at least three times a week, and I was thinking that maybe I should’ve started to make them pay rent, ‘cause they always ate something from our cupboards. But then I thought that that would technically make you a prostitute, so I decided against it” while I still looked at my friend with a slacked jaw, I found myself not finding it that weird. Conversations like this were normal around here.

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t want a one-night-stand, it feels wrong for some reason”

“Is this because of that boy you talk to on FaceTime?”

“Which one? I talk to Owen, Char and Jer” it was true.

I had talked to all three boys on FaceTime. I didn’t talk to Charlie or Jeremy as much as Owen, but we had still had our times when we’d kick Owen out of his own call and talked with them alone, and I liked to think of them as my new friends too. Other times I’d just hang up on him and call any of the others —that I knew, because apparently there were a lot of people in this secret project I didn’t know about—, and most of the time I talked with them it was just a massive group call of us being stupid. Same thing happened when Jadah joined Madi and I.

“Which one?” Nora asked incredulously “The blond! The one that flirts with you! The guy! You fucking wrote him a song, Rowan!”

“I wrote you a song too. And he can’t flirt for shit”

“But it’s different! You like this boy, there’s deep feelings in that song. Mine is literally about how much you love me because I bring you pizza”

“Okay so maybe I have a crush on Owen!” I admitted “It’s not like I’m gonna do something about it, you know what happened the last time I had a crush on a friend. I don’t want that to happen again”

“Sweetie, you can’t just block romantic feelings for everyone” Nora sat down next to me and placed her hand on my knee “You were bound to fall for someone again, it’s not something you can’t control”

“Yeah, I know” I sighed “Okay, so what kind of costume did you have in mind?”

The blond smiled excitedly and jumped up, running to her closet.

[...]

“Happy Halloween!” Madison cheered on her side of the screen “What are you gonna do? We’re going to have a party over here, I’m dressing as a devil and Jadah is going as an angel”

“Fitting” I nodded “How much candy have you had?”

“None. But I did have three coffees. Day started early, and I was basically falling asleep while I was standing”

“God, Dee. Anyways, I’m going to a party at a faculty. Nora lent me a black dress and bought me a pair of black feathered wings. Her words were “Rowan, you’re going as a raven”. But just in case, she also bought me some Maleficent horns, because I’ll probably end up losing the wings”

“A party? You going back home with someone?” she arched a brow as she whispered the las sentence, eyeing around her.

“Why does everybody think I’m taking someone home? I’m not!”

“Who’s not taking anyone home after a party?”

“Jeremy! My man! Can you please take my side? Is it really that weird that I’m not having a one-night-stand?”

“He doesn’t count! He doesn’t know how you were last year”

“I don’t, but I’d love to know” he quickly sat down, completely ignoring my offended look.

“You’re such a gossip. You already know about my famous crushes you don’t need to know about my love life status”

“Hey, you told me about them” he pointed his finger accusingly at me.

“But you didn’t stop me! You even made comments about some” I crossed my arms.

“Is it because of Owen that you’re not taking anyone home?” he arched a brow, smirking when he saw my blush and sharing a look with Madi.

“What about you, Jer?” I quickly changed the subject “What’s your love life look like? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?”

“He’s way passed that” Madison smirked “He’s engaged”

“No he’s not!” I gasped as a small smile and a giant blush appeared on the boy’s face “How did I not know that? You’re supposed to brag to everyone about your fiancée, dude. I wanna know about them”

“Her name’s Carolynn” he started, and once he started, there was no stopping.

I ended that call knowing the whole story about how the soon to be husband and wife met, how they had started dating, how wonderful and amazing she was and how happy Jeremy was with her. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I watched him talk about Carolynn, it was very obvious he was very much in love with her and that he couldn’t wait to be married to her. Madi looked exactly like me, it was impossible not to smile at him.

[...]

“Hello?” I couldn’t quite comprehend the tiredness in the other person’s voice, but then again, I couldn’t quite walk straight “Rowan? You there? Why are you calling me at- four in the morning?”

“Owen! ¡Hola!” my tone was probably too overly cheery and happy, but I could care less in that moment “How are you?”

“Are you okay?” there was shuffling heard from his line, like he was moving on his spot.

“Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?” the words came out slurred.

“Are you drunk?” if I had been in a normal state, I would’ve probably identified the disbelief in his voice, but like I’ve pointed out a couple of times now, I wasn’t.

“Just a tiny bit” I neared my thumb and index fingers and narrowed my eyes, ignoring the fact that he couldn’t see me.

“Where are you, Rowes?”

“I’ve been walking around campus for a while now” I giggled “I can’t find my apartment. It’s usually with the residences, but I can’t find those either”

“Okay, uh... Rowan? I need you to listen to me, are you listening to me?” I hummed, nodding my head along “Okay, you know where the apartment is. I need want you to get there, can you do that for me?”

“Of course silly. I’ll do whatever you want” I smirked.

“As much as I like you flirting with me, it’s really not the moment”

“You’re no fun, I’m gonna call Milo. Maybe I can find him around here and we can go somewhere” I frowned and pulled the phone away from my ear, ready to hang up and call the funny tall boy Nora had introduced to me two days before and was now my best friend.

“Wait, wait, wait! Don’t hang up please! I just want you to get home safely. If you need to flirt with me while you do it, you can. I’m just worried”

“Aw, Owen, you’re such a softy. It’s one of the reasons I fell for you” I cooed “Don’t worry, cutie. I’ll get home just fine” and then I hung up.

I ignored all the text messages that popped up in my screen from different people, let all the calls ring and just kept walking. I did eventually get to our little apartment, and fell face first on my bed, not bothering to take my make up or contacts off. I was sleeping within three minutes.

[...]

I woke up the next day with a massive headache, and with a lot of trouble to open my eyes. “Fucking contacts. Fucking party. Fucking Nora. Fucking drinks. Fucking stupid brain.”

My phone rung in that moment, making me groan. I picked it up, answering the call.

“So loud. Cállate. Shut the hell up” I whined at whoever called me.

“You picked up. Oh my God, guys! I have her!” I furrowed my brows as I recognized Jadah’s voice, forcing myself to get up and make my way to the bathroom.

I rummaged the cabinet trying to find a pill for my headache. I placed my phone in speaker as I took my lenses off.

“Rowan María Flores! What the hell were you thinking?!” I knew that voice. That was Mr. Reyes, using his dad tone on me.

“H-Hey, King” I said hesitantly.

“Do not “King” me, señorita. Do you know how worried we all were?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked “I hardly remember anything from last night” I admitted embarrassed “But I just woke up, so it should all be coming back in the next half hour”

“You called Owen drunk, saying you were lost in the campus, Rowan” Charlie spoke, calling me by my name instead of the nickname he was adamant in using “Then you just hung up on him and never picked your phone up again. He woke me up in the middle of the morning worried sick and stressed out”

Guilt washed over me like a waterfall. When had I done that? Why had I done that? “Dammit drunk me”

“We didn’t know what to do, so we called Madi and Mr. Reyes and the others” he continued “We’ve all been trying to call you since. Your phone probably has millions of messages and lost calls”

“Are you okay?” Madison’s voice sounded broken, and all I could do was stutter out a “Yeah”. “Thank God. We were so worried, Ro-Ro”

“I’m so sorry” I whispered “I didn’t want to make you all go through this. Oh my God, what have I done” I ran my hands through my hair, looking down at the sink “Is uh- is Owen there?” I cleared my throat.

“I’m calling you” he stated instead of answering. He didn’t sound happy.

The phone call ended and two minutes later his contact name was requesting a FaceTime. I gulped. I didn’t care in the slightest of my appearance with my messy hair and smudged dark make-up, but I knew how he had been feeling for the past hours, because I had experienced it too with some friends. It was a terrible feeling of being worried for them and slightly panicking, scared because I couldn’t go save them, as I didn’t know where they were. He knew where I had been, but he couldn’t exactly jump on a plane to come save me.

I shakily hit the “Accept” button and breathed in.

“What were you thinking, Rowan?!” he all but exclaimed when he appeared on the screen.

His hair was the messiest I’d seen it —and I’d seen it just out of bed— and he had bloodshot eyes with bags under them. He only had a pair of sweatpants on, like he hadn’t bothered changing at all.

I couldn’t utter a word, my throat had completely closed, and he took it as his cue to continue.

“Do you know how worried we were? How worried I was? You call me at four in the morning, telling me you can’t find your place while you’re drunk, alone, after a party and on Halloween! And then you hang up and you don’t answer anymore! You’ve no idea what kind of scenarios were going through my head! I was this close to hop on a plane to make sure you were okay! Fucking hell, Rowan!”

“I-I’m sorry” I repeated, tears about to spill from my eyes “It’s just, it was Halloween, and I wanted to have fun, release all the stress and forget about the problems, a-and I lost track of how many drinks I was having, and next thing I knew, I was super drunk. I shouldn’t have called you, I only made you worried. God, what was drunk me thinking?”

I shut my eyes closed for a second and let my breath go, hearing him do the same. His voice was softer the next time he talked.

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not, but I get that you wanted to let loose” he rubbed his face “I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I’m sorry. Shit, it was just so scary, you know? Not knowing what would happen to you”

“I get it” I assured “I’ve been through it too. So I know how it feels, and I can’t believe I made you feel it. I am so stupid”

“Hey, no. Let’s talk about something else. How about you get all that make-up off and freshen up? You look a little dead”

“Hey!” I shouted, only to hold my head and wince “I hope the pill kicks in quickly, otherwise I think I’ll die for real”

I took some cotton pads and my make-up remover, looking at my mirror to make sure I got it all off. I then left the camera to change into comfier clothes and came back to Owen with a sweater on and fiddling with his fingers.

“Rowes?” he called, and I hummed to show him that I was listening “There’s this thing you said yesterday, and I didn’t notice it at first, but I kinda ran over the conversation a million times in my head-”

“Owen, what did I say” I chuckled “It can’t be that bad”

“You said I was a softy” I rolled my eyes, but then he continued “and that it was one of the reasons you fell for me”

My mouth fell into a perfect “o”, and I felt my cheeks and neck get hotter. He was red too, but had a small smile on his lips. I stuttered trying to make out an excuse, but his chuckle cut me off.

“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts” he said with a smirk “Or a woman’s in this case. I knew you were crazy for me, Flores” I furrowed my brows at his teasing. Was he really making fun of me for having fallen for him? “Don’t look at me like that, Rowes. I like you too. A lot” he laughed a little “But it’s always me that is left stuttering whenever you flirt with me, so I thought I’d take advantage of it” he shrugged.

“You little shit!” I laughed “I’d kiss you if I could” I grinned, causing his smile to get bigger, if it was possible.

“First thing I’m gonna do when we meet, after squeezing you in a hug”

“Deal. I’ll sing you your song”

“Can’t wait”

“Yeah, me neither”

[...]

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#owen joyner imagine #owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #julie and the phantoms #charlie gillespie #madison reyes #jadah marie #jeremy shada #netflix

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helaintoloki · 4 years

Text

Child’s Play

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x princess!reader

warnings: lots of fluff and mutual pining

notes: I wanted to write more for this duo and their story bc I just find them so precious🥺 also I want to have obi-wan’s babies but honestly who doesn’t?

summary: a trip to the village orphanage allows obi-wan to see you in a new light, and neither of you can help yourselves from picturing what it would be like to start a family together.

You stand by the ramp of your leisure ship, arms crossed impatiently over your chest and a permanent pout on your lips as you tap the outsole of your elegant slipper against the ground. You don’t see why you need a guard to complete such a mundane task, a task you’ve consummated numerous times before, but unless you were with guardian you would not be permitted access to your transport. A Jedi Knight would be quite inutile at the destination you were expected to arrive at within the next hour, and all of this fuss seemed very unnecessary.

From the palace doors does Obi-Wan then emerge looking contrite and apologetic all at once, already revealing to you the answer to your predicament.

“Well?” You ask anyway, hoping to gods your assumption is falsely based.

“I’m sorry Princess, but your father has made it very clear that you are not to leave the palace without an escort.”

“Oh, karabast,” you huff, narrowing your jaundiced gaze at the faint amusement on Obi-Wan’s features. “I’m glad you’re enjoying my misery.”

“On the contrary,” Obi-Wan repudiates. “It is not your misery I take delight in but your passionate, although stubborn, nature. I must accompany you on your journey, but I shall do my best to stay out of the way.”

As always, Obi-Wan finds a way to compromise, and as always, you find yourself melting at his understanding nature. Though you are a Princess, he never treats you as fragile or incapable. Obi-Wan has never viewed you as a damsel in distress and never will, and it makes you all the more fonder of your Jedi Knight.

“Please forgive me for my brash nature,” you smile apologetically, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I just can’t stand the fact that every day my freedom is chipped away at. This outing is a duty I hold closest to my heart as Princess of Caelia, and not being able to fully enjoy it without having to look over my shoulder for hidden dangers is almost too much to fathom.“

“Then I will do my best to make sure there is no danger present during our visit into the village,” Obi-Wan vows earnestly, and you can’t help but wonder if he’d still speak so passionately about protecting you if he hadn’t been hired by your father to look after you.

“Though I’d prefer to go on my own, I’m glad I’m going with you,” you say. You smile endearingly in a way that makes Obi-Wan weak at the knees, but he recovers in time to grant you a feeble smile in return.

“I think it’s best we get on our way,” he suggests, and you graciously accept the hand he offers you as he guides you up the ramp and into the ship.

~~~

Obi-Wan stands by the doorway dutifully, on guard but out of your way just as he had promised, though feeling rather silly in the process. Perhaps an escort truly hadn’t been necessary for this trip.

At the center of the room the children of the orphanage gather around you while you animatedly share exciting adventure stories with a smile bigger than Obi-Wan has ever seen. The little ones cling to your every word, wide eyes keeping your gaze with great awe and admiration, some sitting right at your feet in order to be as close as possible to their Princess.

Though not required of the previous Princesses of Caelia, you made it your duty to visit the village orphanage at least once every month. With these visits came gifts of new toys, clothes, and food you then bestowed upon the children. And though the gifts were blessings in all forms of the word, it was your kind nature that made you such a beloved presence in the drab building. You treated them as equals, beings capable of doing great things, and never once talked down to them or brushed them aside. You were patient, you were gracious, and you were tender hearted. You were the people’s princess, and it was moments like these that Obi-Wan found you almost unbearably easy to fall in love with.

“Master Kenobi?” A little voice calls, tugging at his robes and interrupting his thoughts. At his feet stands a little Twi’lek girl with doe eyes and a shy smile on her face. “Master Kenobi, would you like to sit with us for story time?”

“Oh, I...” Obi-Wan hesitates, because he really should be standing guard at the door, but what danger could there possibly be at such an establishment? “Well, I suppose I could.”

She gives him a toothy grin before taking his hand and guiding him towards the seating area. In the very back row Obi sits himself beside the Twi’lek girl- Ashla - with his legs crossed underneath him. He meets your gaze to give you a sheepish smile, and you can’t help but laugh at how out of place the grown man looks seated amongst the sea of children.

“How kind of you to join us, General Kenobi,” you tease.

“Please, don’t mind me,” he smiles, and his heart all but melts as the surrounding children snuggle closer to his side. They’ve never met a real Jedi before, and their knowing eyes are well aware of the affectionate glances you both steal when you assume no one is looking. The Princess’s knight is the pinnacle of today’s visit, and neither of you mind in the slightest.

When story time is over the children eagerly dig into their new toys, thanking you graciously for your kindness and even offering to let you play with them first. Instead you opt to sit aside and watch while your hair is braided skillfully by some of the other orphans. Obi-Wan sits beside you, eyes traveling along the complicated pattern being implemented into your hair and admiring the way you seem to glow with pure unadulterated happiness.

“I’m sure you think this is a juvenile way to spend time,” you admit, turning sheepish under his gaze. “Playing with orphans when I could be training or strengthening my healing.”

“Not at all. I must admit this trip has made me admire you even more than I thought possible.”

A faint blush tints your cheeks at his words and you cannot help but to fall deeper in love with your protector. Would it be wrong of you to imagine what it would be like to raise a child of your own with Obi-Wan? To settle down somewhere quiet away from the war where you could live out the rest of your days growing your little family? Belly swollen and heart filled to the brim with unconditional love? It was all child’s play in truth, but they were your hopes and dreams, dreams you clutched tightly to your chest and refused to ever let go of.

“I just don’t see the point of being a Princess if I don’t use my title for the good of others.”

“You have a big heart, y/n,” Obi-Wan smiles, “and I think you are going to make a fine Queen one day.”

“I can only hope so,” you smile faintly, heart aching with longing as you look upon the man seated beside you. He pauses then, almost debating whether or not to speak, before tenderly taking your hand in his own and meeting your gaze.

“And you are going to make a fine mother one day as well.”

~~~

You begin your goodbyes as the first sun begins to set, promising another visit soon and promising to bring Obi-Wan with you as well. As always, it’s hard to part from the orphanage, but you take comfort in knowing the supplies you’ve brought will tide them over foe the rest of the month at least.

Ashla approaches Obi-Wan before he can depart, resting two beaded bracelets in his awaiting palm.

“For you and the princess,” she explains shyly, and Obi-Wan smiles.

“Thank you,” he says, kneeling down before her in order to match her height, “I’ll see to it that she receives your gift.”

She smiles before flinging herself into Obi-Wan’s arms, nearly knocking him over with the sheer force of her hug. From the ship’s doorway you watch on with a fond smile as he hugs her with all of his might, promising to return to her soon. He understands now why this means so much to you and feels privileged to have been able to share such an experience with you.

The second sun is just beginning to set when you return to the palace on Obi-Wan’s arm as he escorts you back to your quarters. And decorating your wrists are the matching bracelets from the Twi’lek orphan.

#obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #obi wan #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan imagine #obi wan kenobi imagine #obi wan fic #star wars #star wars prequels #obi wan x princess!reader

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justmikerrss · 4 years

Text

to all the boys that will *never* love me:

Dear christian, stephen, mikio, oscar, royce, pat, manny, derrick, mars, gill, rex, max, kevin, and nick -- whether y’all were a crush or someone i saw myself being in a relationship with get ready bc i’m going IN. I’m gonna use this time to rank these catastrophes from level 1 to level 5. level 1 being a crush yenno not so bad or scarring, and level 5 being sad machine playing while the world is burning to pieces like bish you left a MARK on my heart. if you know me i think you know who that person is hahaha

*alexa, please play truth hurts by lizzo*

christian - level 1. lol let’s take a trip down memory lane to my first crush ever!! my gosh i remember being so kilig over this boy in elementary school at st. leander lol it was so obvious. hahaha. your spikey hair and like goofy ass smile i don’t know i was such a sucker for that. the first filipino boy i ever crushed on waow <3 but then I left st. leander and never spoke to you again. you went to o’dowd, i went to sjnd and that was it really. you went to sfsu i went to usf. idk how we ever found each other on insta, but it is so cute to see posts of you and jasmine haha a USF don as well!! the last “convo” (i wouldn’t even call it that) was when i commented on your graduation post and you commented back thanking me and saying congrats too. so happy that your trillest brand is killing it and you know nothing about me anymore but what a great time it was to know you were my first crush ever lol. thanks for this <3

stephen - level 1. lol i left st. leander and moved to sjes and was like ok, who am i gonna crush on now?? hello stephen, my first white boi lol. i knew fosho that you thought i was weird in elementary school like there is a particular time where in church i sat next to you and during the our father you did not want to hold my hand LMAO and that’s when i knew. i stood from afar. touched your thumb for heads up 7 up HAHAHA gosh you were so out of my league and such an asshole tbh. you and nick, forever making fun of me for liking mikio lmfao hate y’all forever. you went to lmu and that was history. lmao you were so mean to me. but all well. you were like not a good person i think i just liked you because of your looks? lol hahaha

mikio - level 2.5. oh my god the epitome of my boy problems in high school lmfao fuck you. jk. but high school mika wouldn’t take that back. oh myyyyy what a FLIRT were you. i had so many fantasies thinking we’d be together, we’d be m&m HAHAH BARF wow, and then you dated mel and it was just like??? then you were my escort but then i was like nope and switched you with ryann LOL suuuuper crazy like I don’t really remember the details of everything but i knew in high school being so kawawa over not being noticed by you. but then you went to davis, slo, and now in sl?? idk where you are now but you had my heart back then (barf) but that was such a long time ago that honestly it doesn’t phase me anymore!! a feeling high school mika wouldn’t have thought was possible. so thank you. i liked you because you gave me little glimmers of hope of like maybe we could be together -- you were nice, flirtatious, close to your family... not afraid to make a fool of yourself for the one you’re interested in. which wasn’t me but again that’s okay! I wrote a letter to you didn’t i? idk what i was doing why was i so dramatic tbh. you did things that honestly weren’t in my control so i can’t hate you really. again realizing that you fit my type so it just, idk

oscar -- level 1. when mikio was being a butt i knew i could crush on you. LOL the hugs, the convos, being able to laugh at anything when you were in the room what a time SJND was when you were there. now you’re in boston with your boo and i’m still really regretful over not being able to see you when i was in boston last year but it’s okay. happy that you’re happy out there :-)

royce and pat -- level 1.5. ah. USF college times man. these two were literally a duo. RA’s of the 4th floor (share yall are silly for assigning that haha) and damn, what a trip it was to crush on you. royce you were a dj so thats how i knew my thing for dj’s came. you both did your jobs at ra’s, pat you were on eboard so i saw your hustle there which i super appreciated. and this is also how i knew filipinos were my type? lol. EVEN THO YALL WERE LIKE WITH BOOS lol i am cursed but yall had hustle, swagger, passion for what you love, and still made time for partying it up and studying. and now i see royce at parties sometimes n i would awk hug him (rip at the phoenix hotel party) and i havent seen pat since he graduated but hes so happy with becca!! so cute. and its cute (and weird) how kierst is happy with royce.

****DJ SPARKY/AGANA/YURI -- level 1. yall are dj’s who i will always cringe at bc of how naive i was at shooting my shot... BUT IM GLAD YOU ALL ARE THRIVING OK LETS DISMISS THOSE BOIZ NOW

manny -- level 2.5. ahhhhh manny manny manny. my first trip towards using dating apps and matching with someone on TINDER!!! LOL!!!! ok anywho i met up with you for a few times and it was just like... a lot of question marks bc i didn’t really know where my standards were when it came to online dating. we went on dates? but the first time i paid, and the second time you “forgot your card” so i paid again?? and then you walked me to my dorm and kissed me on the forehead?? red alert!! then you kept wanting like a second chance, to prove me wrong and i kept ignoring you bc wtf lmao... then i was foolish to let you into my life again and realized that was a mistake and blocked you again. and now you’re like a bonafide dj living your edm dreams. i saw you at audio TWICE omg rip. i liked you because lol ur filipino, a dj, buttered me up a whole ton which again problematic bc i didn’t see any of it within myself... but its okay mika is better now. better to not be talking to you. but thank you for being my stepping stone into dating apps.

derrick -- level 1. omg at times i forget about you! which i don’t know is a good or bad thing but i don’t think i ever told anyone about you lol. we met on okc, this filipino boi (lol a trend) andddd i went on like two dates with him? one, i met up with him at that one coffee spot near golden gate park. then we walked over to ggp and we just talked and thinking about it now it was very ideal for me to be myself fully, in public if that makes sense. you were so nice and genuine omg. we went to sweet maple the second time around and you paid for the food which was like wow!! diff than manny!! and i remember talking to you about kh and you loving it as much as me. but i got scared because you were like 26 or somn? i was still 20 i think and i was like this dude might be asking a lot out of me...so i told him the “this is on me i don’t feel ready and not sure how i feel” spiel. and that was history. i honestly don’t know what he is doing now but he was really nice. i felt no malicious intentions from me, i just wasn’t ready to move forward w him. the first nice guy i ever let down bruh. ugh.i hope you’re doing well now though.

mars -- LEVEL 5. fuck me i hate this chapter SO MUCH lmao. so many drunk cries and just cries in general post this whole... like chapter. but lets start off with why i liked you: handsome as hell, close to your family, athletic, hustled, SO MF KIND EVEN WHEN I WAS BEING CRAZY, a great homie and bf quality, gave me the false hope of like “yeah ill see if i can come through” “ill let you know when i listen to this” the forever ILL LET YOU KNOWS but still views my stories and still doesn’t let me know mentality.... you never initiated any of our convos. i was STRAIGHT pursuing you even though i didn’t believe that you’d change your mind about just seeing me as a friend. you made that clear to me from the start but i didn’t take that as an answer LOL which is why i was so crazy to keep hanging out with you... even tho you were super busy and i felt like a burden you STILL made time with me, whether that was peruvian food, or thursday nightlife followed by dancing at a bar together (which i ruined when you took me home and asked you about your love language lmao), souvla, and then our final time of seeing each other: san tung and tpumps. what a fucking few months that was...only to come out of it with another girlfriend with the same name as me. LIKE WHAT. ARE. THE. ODDS. i still can’t believe it till this day. my gosh you were so nice to me mars. such a great homie. and i wasnt empathetic or smart enough to make diff decisions to retain what we had...but im happy that you’re happy with mika. other mika. yeah. man i never felt so in the dark when going through this time, this was so rough. i wasn’t eating, i’d cry in bed for days, it was so bad. i’d like to say that I’m healed from that though. lol to burning the shirt which honestly i should have kept bc it was a cute shirt.. but yeah. thank you.

gill -- level 1. lol you were dumb to think i was attractive enough to dance with at the soulection event. we exchange numbers and i think because i told you i was 21, you backed off. lol guess i was a fetus then. still am. lmao. we text for a bit but then i find out you tried to get into arcilla’s pants?? lMAO. oh and then i see you at that pool party, saw you talking to other girls and i broke DOWN bc i was crossed as hell LOL sorry ate kayla that you had to take me home that day LOL ugh i hate myself for that night. and then i see you right in front of me at OSL. in 2019?? for childish?? that was such weird weird fate. thank god you didn’t recognize me (i had long black hair there, you remembered me with short brown hair plus it was dark). i just thought it was crazy. uhm you had the fuckboy vibe and look on point.. knew everything about soulection. family oriented. but it just fizzled bc i blocked you and then just stopped talking to you lol.

*****chris l/frankie -- level 1. again i cringe at how dramatic i pursued yall sorta as crushes but for sure bc yall were soulcycle and about fitness YES bodies 10/10 and you understood soul. but omg chris pls get ur life together (which is what it seems like ur doing??) and frankie well you’ve been having your life together being married and all so0o0o0 im trash for crushing lmao BUT IM GLAD THATS ALL IN THE PAST AND THAT WE’VE FORGOTTEN i think lmao

rex -- level 0.5. lmfao you were dumb you’re gonna keep looking at me and emily only for me to make the move in letting you know i was interested, follow you on ig, and then you block me?? weirdo. bye.

MY HINGE BOYS </3

Max -- level 3. oh maximus lmao. we talked for a whole month and what a pleasure it was to text you every day, receive and send memes, curate playlists, be w/ each other at different events... only for it to end after we netflix party/facetime where i don’t feel the kilig i’d feel when texting you. so i told you i wanted to be friends. and then i try to still reach out and be friends, but i got delayed responses to no responses. and now you just, look at my stories? lmao i know it don’t mean shit to look and you recently liked my post, but i feel like i invested a lot into our quarantine reality. you had GREAT music taste (even tho ur playlist was a lil questionable), for all i know you were just telling me things to like get you on my good side, motivated, privileged......... yeah. i hope you find your 5′0 qt rave queen that can go to events with u

KEVIN -- level 1. lmfao honestly you SUCK hahaha even with the benefit of the doubt, it does not take 10 hours to reply...even if you are busy at work NICK AND MAX WERE ABLE TO!!! you were spotty to begin with but then we netflix party and then you dont talk to me anymore after i ask if we could exchange music playlists? i didnt even ask u to be my boyfriend its a fucking playlist.... we talked about music so much. ugh BOYS ARE SO DUMB LIKE SERIOUSLY. hope amazon treats ya right

NICK -- level 4. ugh. ughguhgughgh. i liked you because your profile/resume was all my criteria: music taste A1 bc of bryson, i hated mint chip, i loved spongebob (even tho you NEVER sent me spongebob memes fuck u), you were hapa (he he but fuck u) (i laugh while typing this i am so dum), uhm. yeah. we talked everyday consistently for two weeks. you were such a joy to text bc you were funny (i was funny too), even tho it was hard to keep the convo going w you at times in the beginning because you never inquired about me at times. max did. its like you were better than mars, but not like A+ in replying like max was. you never really flirted with me? lmao i mean even those attempts of me tryna bait you, i always got... friend vibes. benefit of the doubt maybe you just didn’t know how to flirt but you had posts of your past relationship up on your feed so you cant tell me that that exp did not have you pursue a girl and flirt her up. to me, there was no initiative from you. i was chasing you for sure. this dating life is a two way street -- life doesn’t work where one pursues you only otherwise like no. bet if i went the fuckboi approach, gave you lame responds would you have kept the convo going? prolly not bc ur a cancer and want to feel needed. the only thing ill commend you on is when you’d apologize for delays in text messages but then you kinda stopped that. like understand i should also feel like i should be pursued and never did i feel that i felt like you just responded just to respond... like you’re a cancer its in your nature to dive deep and ask deep questions but you never did, you were the type to play video games with your pals LMAO and like/????/? me understanding gamer life i was like YES this boy gets me but like CMON. lol so many things. ok maybe i am reading too into this but this is the freshest heartache :/ you never like told me i was cute or anything like... max made remarks about my looks and you never did. i mean cool maybe you were just vibing off my energy but i just now question if you were actually interested in me? bc i was trying so hard to make you like me. every meme, was a move. you didnt play your cards right!! its like i kept hitting you with plus fours, and then all you’d put down is the same color number card. where was the fun in that? it was super effortless but anxiety filling for me at the same time bc i was convinced that you were the one. :’/ super good news to hear that you wanted to meet virtually literally NO EXPECTATIONS but then monday rolls around, you dont text me the whole day, i check in at 530, you tell me you go to costco instead and want to reschedule bc you thought i was ghosting you????? wtf did u just like expect me to just call u right at 7 and expect u to be ready?? max texted me after work and was like “we still on right?” so i was high key expecting that from you bc 1. show interest and 2. take initiative but you DIDN’T!! so i was honest in telling you how i felt but kept it light and asked to reschedule. you take forever to reply, but when you do you tell me it was silly OF ME to think you were supposed to confirm it which i get i initiated it i shoulda texted you earlier (but what if i had the worst day ever and couldn’t text you??? would you have just let it be and not text me anymore bc you assumed i ghosted you???) you also said that you thought maybe it was too quick to assume that i ghosted you which is YES tru. however i was not going to apologize for not texting you earlier and waiting for you to reply bc boy, that was on you to make a move to double check. if i was in your shoes i woulda texted. that would indicate to me that oh wow this boy is making sure we are meeting and confirming! even drop a hey hows your day you excited for tonight? i made it obvious to hype you up on your photos and everything, you just were like wow your photos are so good! wow i hope you posted that picture! like idk. i kept it light bc i still really wanted to meet you, and just wanted to attribute this small ass thing as a misunderstanding between the two of us but after long hours of making me wait, you decide you don’t want to reschedule because you were unsure of how you were feeling and that you couldn't put your all in and said sorry. no sentiment towards wanting to be friends just a straight goodbye which basically meant, in harsher terms im prolly not as down as you are for me and maybe i am nervous to meet u (idk ill never know if you were) anddd im not interested anymore bc you’re crazy and ME being the womyn that i am ended up being the mature one and said the goodbye hope you have a good life without me text and then our lovestory ended lololol what a great two weeks am i right? honestly maybe you still need to do some growing buddy but relationships are not easy going they are a two way street but also ill never know maybe you were just texting me just to text me and you still wanted to be the nice guy bc you were scared of how invested things would be post call so you call it off and it was just in the moment for you to be down but then have it change on another day.... i woke up in a better headpsace today about how this turned out but like god fucking dammit i had high hopes for you you infj CANCER. *squidward voice* so thanks. thanks for NOTHING (this is when you start your spongebob dialogue of all how to get everyone on board for practicing for the bubble bowl and sing sweet victory)

so, the end LOL basically. to all the boys who will never love me, ultimately thank you for being a part of my life. thank you srsly. thank you for making me exp the pain, the kilig, the uh everything. growing pains these are, but at the end of the day, i hope you have a good life. whether or not we cross paths again this gives me clarity as to what i’m looking for and what i deserve. this goalgetting, resilient, funny, hardworking, awkward but in the best way pinay is a force to be reckoned with!!! she has the best support system out there!!! she has so much to live for because she is determined to not let down anyone counting on her!!!! so fuck u for missing out on that!!!

k. my ideal man list is coming soon. until then... see ya later.

xoxo,

Mika (allison to some)

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sweetdeathwrites · 5 years

Text

You Are The Right One

Pairing: Gokudera Hayato/Reader

Summary: Gokudera knows what you mean to him. But what does he mean to you?

Warnings: fluff, romance, some sexual situations/suggestiveness (i.e. Gokudera is thirsty), angst

Word Count: 6,929

(Songfic to You Are The Right One by Sports)

(re/cross?posted from my AO3 and Luna! Original A/N below)

(Hi!! I know I've been gone a long time and I'm SORRY!! I've been going through a lot of stuff (I've been in 3 productions since the last time I've posted .. i think it's only 3.. but I've been a NAMED character in 2 out of 3!! the third one doesn't count bc it was a bunch of skits and so strict plot... so i guess that means... i was a named character in BOTH of my productions?~ I just performed in Grease 2 days ago on friday as Jan, my twinkie girl!! I got to eat twinkies on stage!! It was v exciting and I had a blast! some people I know from the hawaii theatre came down to see me and one of my dad's movie friends and they loved me! one of them told my mom i'm going to broadway! haha!!! ^v^ isn't that sweet? I don't think so but that's a lovely hope, isn't it? I'd like to dedicate this fic to someone who means the world to me, the lovely GuardianAngel07! I love you so much and I know that you're going through a lot right now and I just want you to know I'm always here for you, no matter what, and I know that you are busy and have a lot on your mind, and I just want you to know I'm never mad if we don't talk for a while! I think you get a little worried and feel guilty when we don't talk, but that's not it at all! I care for you so much and if your mental health needs you to take a break, then TAKE that break, honey!!!1! I'm always here to support you and I want what's best for you, mentally, physically, and emotionally!! I care for you a whole lot, okay? I'm always in your corner!!! I'm sorry that this fic isn't what I originally planned to gift to you (the original was much sweeter!! and less angsty!!) but this was the one that was most finished and I figured that anything with our lovely KHR boys would help to cheer you up! I hope you like it!!,, Uhm.... I've also got a lot planned! I released a LONG hannibal fic on AO3 and it's not the best bc I started it 2 years ago.yikes... but I'm finally gonna write for it again after a year but I'm going to revamp it (at least fix the grammar!) before I release it here! It's v violent and prolly gonna get really sexual too, so there's a warning, but i'll warn again when I actually post it. to be truthful, I had this almost fully done for months. I just hated it and hated it and hated it. I've been hating my writing a lot recently which isn't good bc I want to finish a book before I graduate and I'm taking an AP english exam on the 16th, so it's awful timing. I haven't been doing the best but I'm looking forward to summer........ only 18 more days left before I'm free.... then I have summer then I'm a senior and ..yikes....;;; but I've got some summer plans! I'm going to cut and dye my hair (I just realized nothing is stopping me from getting a Guzma cut and dye... then I can dye my hair pink!! and any other color after!!!) and I'll visit a friend in alaska, then I'll get a job somewhere.......... i got no college fund........... sorry for dragging on and on!! uhhhh just expect more from me (hopefully soon..... @GuardianAngel07 i hope ur ready for more awful songfics from me.... because i've written some reeeeaaaaallll angsty and sad ones, already with u in mind!! why do you always get the worst of the bunch.......,,,) love u all! and please leave a review if u enjoyed this! I seriously would've stopped posting all together if it wasn't for some incredibly kind people (looking at you, GA07!!) and a recent review for my hannibal fic on AO3 (or rather, reviews. yes, this person left MULTIPLE. very detailed and heartfelt, and I was giddy for days after!! So if you want more, PLEASE leave a review!! it's not fun to post and feel like you're just yelling into a void!! yell back at me!)

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You were the right way I was just waiting for you to look at me Is there a wrong time? Baby, I’m guessing Just let me know He can never get a break, can he? Gokudera sighed, smoke curling past his lips into the chill autumn air. The leaves were just beginning to change color and he cursed how the light cast amber shadows over the smooth plane of your face, cursed how he couldn’t trace the honey light with his fingertips and kiss the darkness away. His tongue clicked against his teeth and he took another drag of his cigarette. Hayato tried to ignore you. He really did. But how can he, when you look as good as you do with a rose-pink blush that covers your cheeks and ears when someone cracks a joke that makes you laugh until you can barely catch your breath? How your jaw drops open in delight before you remember where you are and hide your smile with your hand– something he desperately hoped you would lose the habit of because, god, did you look pretty when you smiled– and blot away the joyful tears in your eyes? How could he not give you his complete, undivided attention when you were as sugar-sweet as you were? His jade eyes flickered back to you again, almost against his will. Your face was bright, eyes glinting in the soft light of the dying afternoon as you teased one of your friends, grinning widely as they swiped playfully at you in return. Gokudera groaned and his head slumped back against the pillar he was leaning against a little too quick, sending an unpleasant shock up his spine. “Shit,” he hissed, stomping out his cigarette on the concrete behind Namimori High and massaging the back of his skull gingerly. What a day. First, Tsuna and Yamamoto had nearly been killed on their way to school again; of course, Gokudera saved both of them, although Yamamoto he saved slightly more reluctantly. Gokudera was strong– of course he was, he wasn’t Tsuna’s right hand for nothing. He just wished he could prove to you that he was strong enough for you, too… Then, that bastard that patrolled the school like some kind of obsessive freak was on his back again. Something about being late for class. Reborn showed up and solved the matter rather quickly, but that didn’t keep Gokudera from steaming out the ears for another hour or so. But the worst part of the day? It was definitely you, without a doubt. You filled his head, turning his thoughts and coherency to cotton in his head and made his mouth as dry as summer. Summer… Gokudera remembered, during lunch period, that you had gone to the beach with him and his friends. You wore a red bathing suit. Red as the fireworks at the summer festival, where he almost told you his feelings but panicked at the last second– but that was a story for another time–and, at one point, clung to his arm to whine about how hot the sun was, and how you were definitely going to get a sunburn. When Gokudera grumbled something back to you about reapplying sunscreen you had winked at him, grinning wide and asking if he wanted to help you with that. By then, there was no doubt in his mind that his milky skin was as red as your bathing suit. From his blushing, dazed haze, you managed to squeeze a frozen lemonade and a plain vanilla ice cream out of him and his wallet. “Share?” you gently cocked your head to one side and held out the icy drink for Gokudera to taste. His mouth was incredibly dry, as it always seemed to be around you– damn you, and damn him for being so weak for you– and he hesitated. You sipped your lemonade languidly and blinked up at him, heavy eyelashes fluttering and all doe-eyed, and his chest clenched in such a way that it brought him agony and ecstasy in equal measure. “Hm?” you hummed, waiting for an answer. He opened his mouth to deny your offer when a heavy stream of melted ice cream rolled down the side of the cone and over your hand. A surprised yelp and a curse left your throat as you hurried to clean the treat off of the cone. When you switched the cone to your other hand to lick the drops of vanilla from your palm, Gokudera’s brain snapped back to being fully functional and he hurriedly agreed to sharing with you. As you complained once again about the heat and the lack of more interesting ice cream flavors at the snack bar, Gokudera thought of how silly he was being for thinking of sharing the ice cream as an indirect kiss– an indirect tongue kiss, more accurately. But more honestly, it was more like the two of you just swapped spit–but that’s not a very pleasant thing to think of, no matter how much he liked you. He wasn’t in middle school anymore; he shouldn’t be so swayed by this! He shouldn’t feel so hot and his heart shouldn’t be beating so fast. A cool ocean breeze swept your hair away from your face as you shook ice chunks in your frozen lemonade, loosening them enough to drink. Gokudera turned his gaze to the clear blue sea, his friends wading in it, and the lazy scrawl of puffy white clouds across the sky and he wondered if he could gather the courage to ask for a sip of the lemonade, too. If he was only going to get an indirect kiss, he wanted a proper one. Slowly coming out of his reverie, Gokudera realized he had been looking at you the whole time. The shade that Namimori cast over him wasn’t enough to cool his embarrassed blush and he hoped you hadn’t noticed. Gokudera nearly jumped out of his skin when something in his pocket buzzed. He fished out his phone– obviously, of course it was his phone. He must be more tired than he thought, to be startled by his own phone. [Baseball Freak] whatcha lookin at? Snapping his head up, Gokudera scanned his surroundings, looking for any sign of Yamamoto. God, how embarrassing to be caught staring at his crush by the person most likely to tease him about it… [Baseball Freak] up here Yamamoto was leaning out of one of the windows of a classroom far above Gokudera’s head, waving at him without a care in the world. It was then that Gokudera remembered why he was waiting outside at all, staring at you so wistfully– Tsuna and Takeshi had to attend an after school remedial session for their poor grades… No matter how many tutoring sessions they both received from Reborn and Hayato and a variety of other eccentric characters that always seemed to appear out of nowhere, they still couldn’t retain anything they learned… especially not math. Shaking his head angrily, the silver haired boy punched out a response to him but his phone buzzed again before he could send it. [Baseball Freak] see something over there u like? I think u do~~~ aren’t they just sooo cute?? >///7///< Gokudera bit his tongue. How dare Yamamoto say that about you?! It was true, he had to admit, but his pride was hurt from being so easily caught, heart read with such dead-on accuracy that he responded the only way he knew how to. [Me] PISS OFF A rich laugh filled the air above him and only served to spur Gokudera on, cracking his knuckles, clenching his jaw, and wishing he could beat Takeshi into taking what he said back. [Baseball Freak] u know, if u don’t make a move, someone else will………….they’re so pretty and smart and nice!! who wouldn’t want to date them?~ Gokudera’s rage calmed, eerily still. He knew that someone would make a move on you if he didn’t soon. He didn’t miss the way that the boys in the class would offer to carry your bags and would do anything to get just a little closer to you to sling their arms around your shoulders, pretending to show you something in a book, and to breathe in your light perfume. Or the way that girls would bite their lips and giggle when you told a joke and how they would bat their eyelashes and tease you and play with your hair just a little too much for it to be considered strictly friendly. Hayato knew he wasn’t the only person looking to add you to his dating pool and he also knew he wasn’t the best candidate to win your heart. It was a subject that often haunted his brain late at night, a miasma of doubt and self-hatred that cut deep into his heart when no one was there to see him cry. He was too loud, too violent, and too crude for someone like you to fall for. Too dangerous. It didn’t help that Yamamoto was the polar opposite of him– warm, friendly, and kind enough to be anyone’s dream man. And it definitely didn’t help that Yamamoto often wrapped his arm around your shoulders and brought you into his chest when there was nothing else for him to do with his hands. That happened often and made Gokudera more broken hearted than he would ever admit. [Baseball Freak] so? r u gonna say anything to them???? Gokudera had his heart set on you but his brain told him, quite logically, that you would never like someone like him back. Whoever said that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all was a damn fool. [Me] mind ur business. Up above, there was a sigh loud enough for Gokudera to hear and he knew instantly that he had made the wrong move. He looked up just in time to hear Yamamoto call your name in a sing-songy voice, to see him through weak, orange sun rays, waving cheerfully at you. Gokudera snapped his gaze to you to see your hair bounce with each cute head turn as you looked for the source of the voice. Yamamoto called your name again and Gokudera registered that not only had he used your first name but he added a “-chan” to the end of it– what a double-crossing bastard! You found him and Hayato’s lungs felt tight, but not as a result of his chain-smoking. Your face lit up–your pretty, beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous face– and you yelled back a greeting and swung your arms around wildly back at Takeshi, heels lifting off the ground in delight with your ministrations. Hayato’s gaze flickered back up to Takeshi just in time to see the brunet pointing down at him vigorously. Your sight followed Takeshi’s direction and you locked gazes with Hayato. His breath caught somewhere between his throat and chest and his heart pounded against his ribcage, furiously trying to escape this terribly humiliating situation. Just let me know As soon as you saw him, your eyes widened slightly and you gave him an embarrassed, genuine smile as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. It was strange; he didn’t think that you had anything to be embarrassed about. You were deathly adorable when excited, even if it was because you were excited to see that baseball idiot. He hoped to whatever higher being that was out there– and he knew something was out there: aliens, at least– that he hadn’t imagined that sweet, pink blush that dusted your cheeks and ears and ran down your neck. He was smiling back at you, equally as shyly, before he knew it. Well, it’s been a long time Since you’ve been lonely So what will I do? You are the right one And I’m just a boy who Is looking at you “Hey, Hayato?” you called. His spine straightened, vertebra by vertebra, at the sound of your voice. You had used his first name– sure, you had been doing it for a while, but still every time you called him so endearingly, it sent hot, smoky electricity up his spine. The way the bed sheets creased under your small body and lazy afternoon sunlight dappled your visage had his head reeling. There you were, lounging and at peace with the world, in his apartment, in his bed. “What?” He didn’t mean to sound so brusque– but then again, he doesn’t mean many of the things he says with his angry disposition. Especially to you. “Why do you turn down everyone that confesses to you? Don’t you want to… well… I don’t know, fool around with someone? I mean, we’re in highschool, this is supposed to be the most reckless time of our lives, right? Why not live a little?” Your head tilted to the side, hair falling into your eyes. His fingers itched to brush it out of your face and your own fingers played with something on your phone. Probably texting, some faceless guy or girl, flirting, playing coy and– “Hayato?” He shivered, loving how his name sounded on your soft lips. “I don’t know, idiot. I’m mean, but not mean enough to do something like that to some kid stupid enough to think they like me.” He settles for brushing his own hair out of his face. You turn over on your stomach, “I guess…” Something about your tone when you say that makes Gokudera narrow his eyes in suspicion. Did something happen to you to make you upset? Why were you bringing up this topic now? Why were you bringing it up to him? “I just think it’s a waste, y’know?” you ran a hand through your hair and locked your phone, placing it to the side. Your eyes slid closed and Hayato realized how close your head was to his lap, how easily he could pet your hair and have you doze off in his embrace. You looked sleepy enough anyway– would a little nap hurt the both of you? “Hayato, don’t you know how handsome you are?” you mumbled dreamily. “You could get anyone you want, anyone, and you chose to sit here and do nothing. Why?” Hayato couldn’t think. His head was full of steel wool and his blood thrummed loudly through him. You called him handsome. You called him handsome. When his breath came back to him in a barely noticeable gasp, he couldn’t filter the words that tumbled out of his mouth. “I can’t.” “What?” your eyes slowly opened and you leaned up on an elbow, looking quizzically up at him. “I can’t get anyone I want.” “Why not?” His lungs filled shallowly and he turned his face away from you, focusing on the empty street below, through his room’s window. The sun cast golden light and deep, lavender shadows across the world and Hayato knew that if he looked at you right now, everything would go to shit. He’d see your face; all the perfections and beautiful flaws and you would see through him as if he were glass blown, see how desperate he was for you and how his insides were twisting and trembling in fear and reverence, in equal measure, of your power over him. You would recoil, disgust drawn over your lovely face in terribly sharp lines and you would see how his heart would break over and over again. “Sometimes you just can’t.” Your lips curled into a frown and his brows furrowed; he could tell that much by your silence. Unsatisfied with his answer, you huffed and threw yourself back down on the bed, the crown of your head knocking against his thigh. Your hair splayed out around your face, angelic, and Hayato was lucky that your eyes had once again shut to accept the call of the dream world, because if they hadn’t, you would’ve seen how absolutely helpless he looked, gazing at you. So what will I do? His tongue darted out to smooth over his dry lower lip and he felt the faint sting of the thin skin there– cracked. He tasted iron and swallowed thickly. Gokudera wished he was closer to you, so much closer to you than he was, but he was doubtful his heart would be able to handle that. Your breathing started to slow and Hayato found his hand smoothing over your soft hair and you jolted violently, startling the both of you. You stared up at him, eyes full of stars and planets far away, and he laughed airily. He shook his head, silently telling you, No, don’t wake up just yet, everything’s fine. You accepted this without question and closed your eyes again. This time, Hayato gently slid his hands under your head and guided you towards his lap. He arranged himself comfortably on an array of flattened pillows and stroked your hair as you lay, safe and happy in his lap. A single eye peeked at him– slyly, cat-like– before you hummed and shifted closer to him. A contented sigh slipped through Hayato’s lips and he himself started to feel drowsy. In his dreamy stupor, his hand trailed down your face, down your neck, and down, down your arm until he had your fingers gently entwined with his. Sure, it may have just been an unconscious reaction, but the way your hand squeezed his back made his dreams lovely and surreal and hallucinatory, in all the best ways. I tried the wrong way I was guessing Biding my time You are the only One I can picture By my side “Gokudera, what’s up?” Takeshi nodded at the silver-haired bomber as he approached, strangely insightful today with his clear, milk chocolate eyes. The boy in question merely grumbled vaguely, hands shoved deep in his pockets, as if he was fishing for the answer to Yamamoto’s question down there as well. “That bad, huh?” Gokudera rolled his eyes. It wasn’t rare for him and Yamamoto to arrive at Tsuna’s house before the young mafia boss could flee from it, already anxious and sweaty. Today was no different. “Hey, at least you tried, right?” Yamamoto offered a weak smile, knowing how much you meant to Gokudera. His shoulders were hiked up to his ears and Takeshi didn't miss how the hot, red ring on Gokudera’s cigarette quickly crawled down to the filter before he was tapping out another from his near-empty box and sucking on the new cigarette, lighting it with the dying butt of the used one. He tossed the old one down and ground it into the asphalt. Takeshi frowned. The baseball star shifted the bag on his shoulder uncomfortably, his bats for after school practice clinking metallically. “ … I didn't.” Gokudera kept his gaze locked on a lamp post down the block. Takeshi blinked, not expecting a response from Gokudera’s sunken frame. “What?” “I didn't try.” It took Takeshi a moment to understand what Gokudera meant before grimacing with a little more than a dash of friendly pity in his eyes. He shifted his weight from his hip, seeking to comfort Gokudera, but decided against it at the last moment. “Why?” his voice came out in a gentle rasp. Gokudera still refused to look at him, green eyes clouded and trained on a particularly colorful poster on that singular lamp post. Seconds ticked by before Hayato groaned and dragged a hand down his face, pinching his cigarette in frustration with his other hand. “I can’t! I just can’t. I know they don’t feel the same and I know I’ll break if they have to say it to my face. I can’t handle that. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to handle that. God, Yamamoto, I just can’t take that chance.” Being around them is– it’s just too much and too little for me to take– I’m going crazy here, driving myself in circles and spinning out, spinning my goddamn wheels because of them. It’s fuckin’ sickening but I don’t want a cure. I feel so helpless and I hate it, I never want to feel this way again. What the hell did I do to deserve this?” Gokudera’s eyes snapped shut, face contorted in agony. “I can’t tell them. I can’t. I want them to be happy. It’s better this way anyway. I’m not good enough.” Gokudera’s voice cracked on his last word before his declaration faded into the morning’s stillness. Yamamoto was insulted– his best friend talking about himself this way? Not in a million years, if he had any say in it– but Gokudera snapped at him before he could get a word in. “And don’t say shit about me being good enough, because we both know I’m not good enough for them. I’ll never be good enough, Yamamoto, that’s not me. I wouldn’t be able to hold them as much as I should, to kiss their gorgeous fucking face– I wouldn’t be able to be fucking honest, Takeshi. They deserve more than the bullshit excuses I’d spew to cover our fucking asses when we get the crap kicked out of us on a bi-weekly basis. They don’t deserve that.” Silence weighed like velvet over the two of them and the sun was now calling out songbirds, sleepy murmurs from the neighborhood beginning to wake from the heavy slumber of the night. Yamamoto didn’t know what to say anymore and Gokudera put the cigarette back where it belonged: between his lips, funneling poison straight to his lungs. “ … I don’t think it’s like that, Hayato. You’re being too harsh on yourself. I really don’t think they feel that way about you.” Hayato said nothing and kept his eyes glued to that single poster again. Yamamoto reached out and awkwardly patted his shoulder, mustering as much comfort as he could before he knew he would overstay his welcome. Hayato needed time to clear his head. “ … I’ll go inside to check up on Tsuna. Come inside soon, alright?” The response that didn’t meet him was enough to know Gokudera wouldn’t get better as quick as that. Takeshi sighed in sorrowful compassion before slowly making his way to Tsuna’s front door, carefully piecing together his cheerful mask yet again. The door shut quietly, and voices and vague, worrisome sounds came from within. Gokudera raised his hand to scrub furiously at his misty eyes, his bracelets clinking together and rings scraping his face and leaving thin, red lines around his eyes. He leaned back against the wall around his best friend’s house and his head banged against the concrete, painful and painfully familiar to something that had happened recently, involving you. “Fuck,” he hissed into the empty street. Class was boring, as it always was. There was nothing that could entertain him that was in Namimori’s curriculum. Tsuna managed to convince Gokudera to take college classes too, so that his development wouldn’t stall (and also because Gokudera being bored meant a bit more trouble for Tsuna, but he was genuinely concerned about Gokudera’s personal growth). But even those classes were much too easy for him. Something that wasn’t easy? Seeing you every damn day and not being able to do a thing about it. Getting closer, getting further, cutting you off completely– he couldn’t bring himself to do any of those. Gokudera tapped the eraser end of his pencil against his desk and sighed, staring out the classroom window into the clear blue sky. He couldn’t wait for summer again but, boy, did he like seeing you all bundled up in wool and cashmere and simply drowning in soft fabrics and cozy patterns. You were so cute with your nose red from the cold, lips burning pink from being bitten so much– he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, no, he would take this to his grave– but what he wouldn’t give to be the one to bite your lips instead, to hear you whimper and moan, just for him, and– A small collision with the side of his head brought him out of his daydreams. Curious and annoyed, Hayato brought a hand up to his hair and picked out a crumpled wad of paper. Who the hell had the balls to throw shit at him? He was still the scariest guy in Namimori (and no, Hibari doesn’t count, either). If anything, he should be terrorizing the rest of the class. Taking a less than subtle glance around the room, he caught your eyes staring at him eagerly. Taking a moment to compose himself, he averted his gaze to your note instead. Of course it was you that threw it at him. Who else? Wanna go to a bakery after school? Kyoko-chan was talking about it earlier and I can’t get it out of my head… I’ll pay if u want!! I want cake~~~ Hayato didn’t hold back the happy grin that spread over his face, sparing a glance at you, impatiently waiting for his reply, before scribbling something in his mostly neat penmanship under your barely legible chicken scratch. No need to pay. But yeah, that sounds p cool. Meet me right after school at the front gates? The teacher still had his back turned to the class, writing something that Gokudera already knew on the blackboard, droning on and on about logs and bases and inverses and irrational numbers or something equally useless. He knocked his hand back and threw from the shoulder, the small, now neatly folded note landing in the middle of your desk. You snatched it up quickly, hiding it just in time for the teacher to turn around and call on one of your classmates to answer a question. Gokudera couldn’t see you unfold the note but your arms were moving under the desk and you grabbed a pencil off the desk too. Gokudera remembered that pencil; it was thin, cute, and pink– with a brown bear on top. The bear held a red heart and its nose was in the same cute shape. There were patterns of hearts and stars in red and yellow and white, and Gokudera knew all of this because Kyoko had helped him pick it out to give it to you for your birthday. He thought giving you a gift with so many hearts was a bit forward– tactless, even– but Kyoko gave him a stern look and told him that nothing he could do would be forward enough when it came to you and, spluttering and flushed, he tried to deny his affections for you but only ended up confessing how he felt about you to Kyoko. Smiling gently like the angel she is, Kyoko let him talk her ear off about you for nearly an hour and a half. She earned a milkshake and a slice of strawberry cake for her bravery. You spun in your chair, clutching the edge of it in your small hand, and flicked the paper back to him. The message was a little more timid, he noticed. actually, can we meet on the roof after school?.. I have something I want to talk to u about, but it shouldn’t take long… We can go straight to the bakery if u don’t want to, tho!!!!! ^v^;; Gokudera recognized how you were trying to hide something from him with your overwhelming facade of consideration. Whenever you felt insecure about something, you always spent time making sure other people felt more comfortable and happy than you were, as if that would make you feel better yourself. A frown carried over his pale face and when he looked up, you were staring at him again. This time, you seemed to have carefully examined his face and your brows were furrowed. As soon as you met his eyes, you jumped, shaking your head and waving your hands to tell him, Don’t mind me, it’s nothing. Gokudera was just about to pen down a reply when the teacher turned around again and began talking to the class, not looking like he was going to turn his back on Gokudera any time soon. Hayato caught your eyes with his green ones and nodded quickly, mouthing ‘I’ll be there.’ Lunch was as it normally was. That is, filled with shouts and explosions and general chaos. However, this lunch period was noisier than it previously had been; a fact that only would have been noticed by the people present if they paid very careful attention to their volume. Gokudera noticed. Damn right, he noticed. Sure, you usually sat next to Takeshi. Sure, you had a habit of clinging to him as you laughed and whispering in his ear. And sure, sometimes you would call him Take-chan as you fed him bits of your own bentou– a fact that pissed Gokudera off endlessly. But what was different? Today you were nestled in Yamamoto’s side, tucked neatly away under his arm which alternated from wrapping around your shoulders to hold you to him and pulling you in by your waist to bring you nearly onto his lap. It stung Gokudera something awful. Watching the two of you laugh and whisper to each other felt like you had run Hayato’s heart over shrapnel and soothed his wounds with lemon and salt. He averted his jealous, but startlingly gentle gaze from you to the sky above you, willing tears not to come and cursing himself for feeling this way about you. “Hey, Take-chan!” You tugged on his shirt, the fabric over his chest, to bring his attention back to you. “Hmm?” You stole a glance at Gokudera and whispered giddily into Yamamoto’s ear. When you’re finished, Yamamoto made a sound that can only be described as pure elation, and he tugged you in even closer, tickling you in the process. You laughed and shrieked at him to stop and he only did so when you’re nearly in tears. Tsuna is having a muted conversation with Gokudera and he is trying to pay attention– honest– Gokudera is trying so goddamn hard, but it’s next to impossible when a grass-green snake hisses low in his belly over you writhing and laughing so happily in Takeshi’s lap. Yamamoto whispered hotly back into your ear and Gokudera sees something he wished he would never see from the two of you: you, with a hot blush crawling up your neck and Takeshi with his face practically in the crook of it, grinning all pearly white and eyes staring at you with such fucking dedicated tunnel vision. Gokudera wasn’t hungry anymore. Lunch ended and you gave Yamamoto one last quick hug before cleaning up your trash and putting everything away that you wanted to keep. Gokudera was slower than normal, taking all the time in the world and then some to get ready for class again. The door to the roof clanged shut and Gokudera let out a heavy sigh, eyes closed and trying to feel everything that he could– everything except his feelings, that is. He relished the cool breath of wind that blew against his face, tossing his hair around and whistling softly to him. He took account of the ground beneath him, hard and sturdy, and the sounds of teenagers filtering back into the school, complaining about their classes and each other. The one thing he didn’t hear–not until it was too late– was you. “Hayato?” you tugged on the back of his shirt, scaring him witless. He yelped like a kicked puppy and spun around to face you, composure long lost. He tried to say something but nothing left his lips; nothing coherent, at least. The hand that grasped his shirt didn’t cease touching him. It got even closer than before as you took a step, and then another, into his personal space. The height difference between you was just too much for him to handle and Gokudera felt himself simultaneously trying to pale and flush, unsure which won over in the end. Your hand slid along his waist, his side, and up his chest lightly. The smile that took root on your face was weak and bashful, even– and you bumped your forehead on his chest before you looked back up at him, an emotion he didn’t recognize dancing in your eyes. “Don’t forget, we’re meeting here after school, Hayato. You wouldn’t want to keep me waiting, would you?” Your finger tapped his chest teasingly, adding another beat to his pulse and he felt fire crawl up the base of spine at your nail scraping through his shirt. You blinked curiously up at him and his voice whispered to you, hoarse and against his will, “No, I wouldn’t.” Satisfied with that, you made sure that he had everything he had brought up to the roof with him, promptly forced him to offer his elbow to you, and curled yourself happily over his arm before leading the both of you down the stairs to finish the rest of the day’s lessons. The roof was empty except for Gokudera. As soon as school was over, he bid Tsuna and Yamamoto goodbye, telling them not to wait up for him. Yamamoto had a big, stupid grin on his face– But when does he not? Gokudera rationalized. There was something about that smile that showed that he knew more than he let on but Gokudera was much too preoccupied with thoughts of you to care. He leaned against the rails, not trusting it to hold him, careful not to put too much weight on it. He took a steadying breath. Breathe. It’s fine. Nothing’s wrong. But no matter what he told himself to stop the rapid, staccato drumming in his chest, his anxieties were not relieved in the slightest. He was afraid– god, how he was afraid. What did you want to talk to him about? Did you not want to be friends anymore? Did you grow tired of him? Did… Did you want to tell him you were dating Takeshi? “Hayato?” oh fuck Gokudera jumped. The amount of times you scared him witless was embarrassingly high. “Hey.” You smiled slightly. “Hey.” Something about you was different. Something was… off. The way your eyes drifted from him every other second before coming back to his concerned gaze was unusual, but even more unusual was the way your hands fidgeted behind your back. “So,” Hayato tried to get the words to come out. The light breeze that tossed your hair around your face in a halo didn’t help much, but he appreciated it anyway. “What’d you wanna talk about? I’m hungry as fuck.” It slipped out– Hayato’s cursing habit hijacked his mouth, nerves making him go on autopilot. At least you took it well; your eyes glinted in amusement and some of the tension between the two of you dissipated. A pink tongue darted out to soothe your dry lips and Hayato was a little too aware of it. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while, but I just didn’t know how to tell you– it’s a bit… embarrassing, so don’t make fun of me, okay?” Your mouth was set in a firm line, eyes pleading and vulnerable. “Sure.” That wasn’t the reply you wanted but it was what it was. By my side “I…” you began, then lost the words you had planned. “You?..” Gokudera offered. He wasn’t sure he was ready for what you wanted to tell him or what it entailed, but he was sure that if it meant your happiness, he would do anything at all to keep you smiling. “It’s just that… You know, I–” you fumble over your words, frustration visible on your face. Gokudera scolded himself for thinking of you in this way when you so clearly don’t want him but he can’t help it. He’s worried over your affect on him before, but he never considered how weak he is to you or how strong your natural beauty is under the glow of a late afternoon and the crinkle of your brow with your courageous efforts… courageous efforts that you try to spell out but they fail, perched above your tongue. Your soft hands come down in frustration upon the hem of your shirt and you try again, slip again, and Gokudera is privy to the realization that this isn’t something he should take lightly any longer, no matter how much it calms his nerves or keeps him from facing the possible reality of him losing you. He leans forward to grasp your hands from distressing your shirt, to keep you from distressing yourself, with full knowledge that this moment could be the end of you allowing him to be graced with your presence. Hayato decided that your momentary comfort before unleashing hell on him was worth more than a thousand lifetimes of you by his side in the masquerade mask of lukewarm passion if you backed down from rejecting him now. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” And he touched you and nearly recoiled when your face whipped up to meet his, nearly let go of you because your skin was hot as forged iron and nearly as red. He tried to let go but you wouldn’t stand for it, as you used his hands over your shoulders as leverage to place your palms, clammy and shaking, over his smooth cheekbones and bring his face down to yours. Hayato’s eyes were wide as he met your lips, glossed and smooth and clearly prepped for this specific moment, specific kiss, specifically with him and he could have withered away in embarrassment of his rough mouth and nicotine lungs if it weren’t for how warm you were against him and how securely you held him, despite how insecure you had been seconds prior. Gokudera barely has the brains left to close his eyes on the skyline of Namimori but when he does he sees stars and he kisses you back and there’s a scrape of his teeth against your bottom lip and you shiver and he groans into you and now he’s just as red, if not redder, than you are. A slick noise of separation, then the both of you don’t know how to deal with the awkward intimacy of it, or what to do with your hands, but Hayato managed to gather enough sense– or maybe he’s running on what he’s fantasized on doing after your first kiss together and is on a daydream-guided autopilot– and he brings you into a tight hug and buried his head into your wild hair. You laugh into his chest and when he tried to bring you out to ask you why, you clung to his wrinkled white shirt even more and blindly found his hands, tangled with his bracelets and rings, then laced your fingers soundly with his. Gokudera can hardly believe the kiss happened, can believe he’s still alive even less, but he’s sure you can hear the quickened palpitations of his heart and that notion does no good for his health either. You’re an absolute dream and Gokudera is ready and happy to die right there, but you pull away from him, hands still interwoven, and smile so beautifully that he is sure that angels exist and you’re the vision of seraphim, disguised as human so barely that if you were anymore angelic he would surely fall dead where he stood, kiss-dizzy and sweetly dazed. From his dazed mouth, stupidity falls out. “So what was it that you had to tell me?” You laugh and press a kiss– more confidently this time– to his collarbone. At his affirmative, stuttered, elated hum, you press another and another, up his neck and jawline and chin until you reach his lips again and he kisses you back with adoration and love and his still evolving understanding of your feelings for him. “I’m not sure how to say it any clearer,” you said with a laugh that rang like the church bells that sounded in Gokudera’s head as clearly as he imaged they would on your wedding day, as he pressed his own kisses all over your face and held you close with the intention of treasuring you as long as he had a pulse and then some. “Hayato, I really, really like you.” And that was the day that Gokudera Hayato had come to face the reality, one that he had long accepted, that he loved you more than anything and you felt the same, but most importantly, that you were the right one for him. And that he was the right one for you.

#gokudera hayato #gokudera hayato/reader #gokudera hayato x reader #reborn #khr #katekyo hitman reborn #reborn fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #gokudera

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 5 years

Text

Doctor Doctor ~ Stan Uris

Request: “hi i’m ~back~ cause i can never get enough of stan🤭 lmao anyway can i get another w aged up! stan where they’re already dating for like a few months the reader is always like tired and run down and stan like makes her stay home one day and just like takes care of her???? idk how to explain it but i mean,,,, if there WERE to be some smut in there i would complain🤭 lmao if not it is ok! if so thanks AGAIN i 💓💓 ur stories” - @campcampie

A/n: Man I love Stan too!!!! I love getting requests for him- there isn’t enough content ,my boy deserves better... I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG UGH! - A. Pidge

Warnings: Fluffy fluff. Some angst bc that’s what I’m best at but it’s for like, a millisecond and then it’s over. Aso, yes, some smut because give me permission and I will be ALL OVER IT! Aged up to 18/19

Song Suggestion: "Can’t Sleep Love" by Pentatonix

MASTERLIST

College was really fucking stressful, okay?

Stan and I had long since been living together, starting out as roommates. We met at orientation, happening to sit next to each other. We got talking when some boy made a comment and I snapped at him, shooting down his insulting remarks. Stan backed me up when the boy tried to retaliate. After that, we started to hang out weekends and discuss college and living situations and... yeah. Why not live with someone you trust and know in a new places full of new faces, right?

Not long after we roomed together we started to realize that we were a lot closer than we’d thought we’d be. Our apartment was small and I couldn’t even count how many times we’d seen each other mostly or half naked in the bathroom alone, not to mention the added moments that happened when one of us came into the other’s room without thinking or just too tired to register or soemthing along that line. Things just happen. He was attractive and smart and funny and I was outspoken and organized. We took to each other, meeting in a lot of ways and then complimenting each other too. He admired how I organized his gut instincts and nonsensical habits and I liked how he drove me to focus when things got irritating or could keep me going even without caffeine- which came in handy for homework or study/cram sessions. Honestly it was no surprise even to us when he came into the kitchen one morning, spun me around, and slammed a kiss on my lips and casually asked me to be his like it was an every day occurrence.

It was nice to have someone to ground you in the stress and chaos. We were there to fight the long nights and the lonely mornings. We turned one of the bedrooms into a study room and shared the other, and it wasn’t even a hard transition. It was smooth, like spreading soft butter across bread. He was so nice and sweet- this light in my life that light me up and never failed to make my day better, even if I thought it impossible.

It had been a few months now and I was sure I was completely in love.

The last month and a half or so had been preparations for finals and honestly, I was working so hard between school and my job and my relationship with Stan that I was exhausted. I was trashed and worn thin. Stan would make gestures and try to cheer me up and it felt like I was just dragging him down. A heaviness in my stomach was born and grew until it felt like I’d swallowed an anchor that was constantly dragging me down. Stan was a balloon and this anchor inside of me was dragging us both down. I felt terrible.

Unable to shake the heavy feelings I had, I started to just avoid Stan. I worked and I schooled and I studied and I ate and I slept. Moments at home were spent without breaks or moments with my boyfriend and I could tell it was bothering him.

New fears started to rise in me. What if it was too much for him, me being such a mess? What if this happened every final? How were we going to make it through college? What if thi happened every time some serious stressor came into my life? Would I shut him out when bills got hard to pay? When a client was being extra tricky? If a boss was being especially difficult? How would we make it through life? I knew Stan wanted kids, one day. He’d mentioned it passively once while we were a little drunk. What if I was a bad mom and got stressed with the kids? How would we make it through life?

One morning I woke up to an empty bed, which surprised me because my body had just decided to wake up fourth-five minutes before I had work. It was a Saturday and I didn’t have school, but I did have work. Saturday’s Stan had one class in the afternoon. He used it as his day off, usually to clean and for date nights- which usually consisted of movies and bubble nights and such at-home activities since I was always exhausted from work. Because it was his day off, though, he got up at 12:00 pm exactly. No sooner, no later. Ever. So where was he at 6:15 in the morning?

I made my way into the kitchen just to see Stan cooking, shirtless and in his fuzzy pajama pants that I adored because he looked like a middle-aged dad and it made think of our future and smile because I swear to God this boy was the One. Now though I was far too distracted by his exposed midriff to give a rat’s ass about the future. The present needed some appreciation.

Walking up to him, I pressed my cheek to his back, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. "Good morning, Darling Mine."

"Good morning, Babylove." My heart skipped a beat and I wondered if he could feel my blush against his skin the same way I could hear the smile in his voice. "Why are you up so early?"

I left a little kiss on his shoulder. "I could ask you the same thing."

Stan reached forward, turning the oven off. "If you’re not going to let go then hope on, I have to plate these omlettes." I giggled but indeed hopped on his back - with his help - , wrapping my legs and arms around him to keep my elevated position. It was childish and silly but I knew we were both enjoying the moment without any tainting of stress from school or work or general life. "I noticed you’ve been avoiding me." My smile feel, having forgotten my stress induced dodge and ditch in the happy grogginess I’d been holding onto. "Figured you were stressed." He got forks, setting the table and then pausing to let me get down. When I had both feet on the floor he turned to me, either of his hands on my face. "You know I love you right?"

His eyes were as soft as his touch was warm and the smell of food and the fluffiness of his hair- shit, he made me weak. I about melted right there, especially when he leaned forward to kiss me on the nose before resting his forehead against mine. My hands went to his waist, pulling him closer as his thumb brushed against my cheekbones. "I love you too," I nearly hummed.

Somehow he understood me, leaning back and motioning to my seat where my food awaited me on the table in front. "Even when you’re stressed and thighs get ridiculous, I still love you." I sat and he moved behind me, kissing the top of my head. "You need to talk to me instead of shutting me out." His voice was low and full only of love and care. I saw what I’d heard in his face as he moved to his chair next to me.

Nodding, I relaxed into my chair, letting the stress and angst roll off of me. "I know. I’m sorry, I’ll work on it."

Stan smiled and I forgot absolutely anything else. "That’s all I ask." We ate breakfast, talking as I told him everything going on and he gave me reassurance and validation and support and just made it all seem so easy and far away. We’d handled it. Together. It would be fine. What had I been so bent out of shape about again?

My alarm sounded in my room just as Stan stood to take our dishes to the sink. Instantly my stress back, my face twisting as I stood, sighing. "That’s my cue. Thank you so much, Stan, this means so much to me." I moved to kiss him but when I went to lean away he followed me. I tried to move away again but he stayed close, his hand brushing down my face. My hand planted flat on his chest and I was reminded once again of his skinny but fairly defined frame. Holey April he was so beautiful... "I- I have to go to work Stan."

He frowned. "Don’t go today."

"Stan you know I can’t just not go to work." I rolled my eyes, not allowing myself to even let a second pass with the possibility on my mind. It was too good of an idea. A whole day with Stan, with just an hour and a half break. "You have class later anyway, and I-"

"I won’t go today," he shrugged, pulling me close.

Looking at him evenly, I rose my eyebrow. "We are busting our asses off at jobs to pay for school, don’t give me that shit." I turned away, slipping under his arm and making my way into our room. I stopped my alarm, grabbing my work clothes out of the drawers and setting them on my bed. I took a quick shower, tying my hair up so it wouldn’t be wet. I got out, brushing my teeth on my way as I moved back into the room, toward my clothes.

Stan seemed to be waiting for me, leaning against the entryway into our room. His eyes scanned every bit of skin that the towel didn’t cover and I cleared my throat. His smile turned into a smirk. "Oh come on don’t pretend I’m so oblivious I don’t know that you’ve been checking me out all morning. It’s my turn to appreciate the view now." My whole face burned and for the first time since we’d first had sex, I was shy to change in front of Stan. I grabbed my shirt, pausing. He laughed at my awkward expression, seeming to read my mind as always. He pushed off the entryway and made his way to me, slipping behind me. His lips suddenly pressed against my exposed shoulder and. Shivered, my breath catching. "Now you know how it feels."

"Revenge for earlier?" I asked without volume as my air was completely stolen by him, my eyes fighting to stay open as I struggled to fight him.

His hands moved from my wrists to my shoulders and then across my back, fingering the edge of my towel. "Revenge? No. Simply a return favor."

We hadn’t had sex in a while. Even before I was avoiding him I’d been really wrung out and tired and just emotionally raw and with his stress as well we’d just not found the moment we were both in the mood. With the suggestive promise dangling in front of me, I dropped my shirt without realizing. "Stan," I breathily warmed.

He chuckled, leaning close and kissing my neck now. I sucked in a sharp breath, my head tilting to allow him more access without going myself actual permission to do so. He reached for my phone on the side table. "You deserve a day off. Relax. Let me help you relax..." I heard the phone ringing and turned to face him. "Hi, this is Stanley Uris. I’m here to call you that Y/n is REALLY sick, and she won’t be able to come in today." My eyes opened and I reached for my phone. He flicked my hand and my towel fell. He stepped back as I scrambled to pull my towel up, winking. I tried to glare but my lips were pulling into a smile I had to fight. He had his eyes on me, hungry, but when he spoke again his voice was practiced. "Yes, she’s so very sorry and hopes you understand. You can imagine how much of a fight it was with how good of a worker she is. So dedicated." There was a pause and he chuckled. "Yes, she’ll be well taken care of, thank you for your concern." The look in his eyes made me whimper. "You have a good day too." And then he hung up.

I huffed as he placed my phone on the dresser, a shit eating grin on his face. It was hard to stay mad at him though he wore it so well. "Stan, we have responsibilities-"

"And we can sluff them ONE TIME,” he reasoned. "You’re working yourself sick and I’m tired of how messed up we both are." His hands cupped my cheek. "I miss you Y/n. I want you."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Well, the damage is done." He dipped his head, kissing and nipping at my neck. "And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you too." He chuckled, blowing after leaving little mark after little mark on my skin.

His finger traced the top of the towel against my chest. "May I?" I nodded and he tugged it off of me. This time I let it fall to the floor and he leaned back just a bit, taking me in. "God, you’re beautiful." And then he kissed me, so deeply and passionately that I groaned. The back of my legs hit the bed and I sat down. He smiled down at me before leaning and I scooted back, him following as he moved over me. We stopped with my head on the pillow, my hands rising to wrap around the back of his neck, fingers slipping into his hair as he attacked my neck until he was satisfied, moving lower to my chest. "Good thing the doctor is here to take care of you, you look a little sick." He smirked up at me.

I laughed, the stress falling away again to give away to lust. "Doctor, Doctor, it’s an emergency. I need you immediately."

His words were full of promise as he teased, "Don’t worry Babylove, I'll take care of you."

And boy did he.

#stan uris #stanley uris #it stephen king #stan uris imagines #stanley uris imagines #it imagines #stan uris x reader #stanley uris x reader #losers club #losers club imagine #losers club x reader #jesse eisenberg faceclaim

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jellno · 5 years

Text

jjh - together

words: 2.1k

tags: fluff, slight!angst, domestic!au, dad!jaehyun

warning: a bit of sexual content? Not really tho bcs I’m weak

a/n: THIS IS LIKE THE LONGEST ONE I MADE THIS YEAR and I enjoyed writing this so much maybe because its dad!jaehyun uwu

Oh yeah, this is written based on miss Desirée’s blurb on @nctream (she is like the most amazing babe you should check her out and shower her with love and support she also loves meme isnt she’s just perfect uwuuuu)

“I’ll do the dishes. It’s your turn to put Her Majesty Princess Jung of the Southern Isles to bed.”

Jaehyun gave you his dimply smile as your daughter mimicked the same gesture. They got up from the dining seats as soon as you left to put on your apron and rubber gloves. Jaehyun collected their plates and put them in the sink. He wishpered I love you into your ear as he stroked your side before he left to carry the girl in a pair of banana pajama in his left arm and leaving the other free to hold a fluffy stuffed animal.

“I’m not a princess anymore, Mama. I’m an astronout!” Missy exclaimed, head rested on her father’s broad chest.

“What? I’m sure you were a princess this morning.” You turned around to them with your ‘shocked’ face. “Where is my princess now?”

“I want to find a moon bunny Papa told me!” You laughed and nodded, raising both your hands as a sign that you were defeated.

Jaehyun kissed the tip of her head, “Alright baby girl, time to sleep. Let’s give Mama some goodnight kisses.”

You held up your chin. They walked closer toward you and smooched your cheeks at the same time. “Nighties Mama.” She waved you her small hand as they strolled away to the staircase. “Good night, sweet pumpkin.”

You got back to your chores. Letting the tap water soaked the dishes before you brushed them one by one with a soaped sponge. Taking your time with the activity, you let your mind wandered around what had been going on so far today. You got up first in the morning, woke Jaehyun up and made him check on Missy in her room next to yours. They did joined you minutes after you were done making Jaehyun’s morning coffee and the three of you had breakfast; some toasted whole wheat breads, sunny side ups and baked beans. And of course you prepared lunch box for your little now-an-astronout princess. Then you did took a quick shower before you left the house for work.

It was routine you wouldn’t miss for the whole world.

On the other side, things at work were just demanding more and more of your attention. You worked for a renowned law firm as a senior lawyer. Your master degree indeed earned with real passion and talent. The job paid you real good money, but it also paid you cruel amount of pain in your head at times like this.

A fresh graduated intern who were chosen to assist you for the next quarter year decided to shoved half of your Attorney-Client Privilege papers you had been working on for couple weeks down the shredder. Not to mention how he messed up a joint representation meeting that afternoon. You knew you shouldn’t had blame him so much because he was an intern after all, and interns tend to make mistakes as they learn and grow from experience. But you couldn’t help comparing him to you; a perfectionist worker, barely made any mistake at work.

And to avoid all the problems happening at work, you decided to came home early (you knew it was rather cowardly, but better than to channel your anger there and cause a ruckus). So you chosed to relaxed a bit by cooking dinner, took a bubble bath with Missy (which you hadn’t done for a long while), and actually sent the nanny home early.

Jaehyun was surprised when he saw you were home before him. But it was only for a moment until you had your meals together with laughters shared throughout the good hour spent in the dining room.

Missy told you how she painted a really big frog for her art class at the pre-school, and how her friends envied her for having a cutely arranged lunch box. She told you about her trips to school with Jaehyun as he took her there every morning. And it made you feel guilty.

You knew it had been both you and Jaehyun’s desicion to take turn to do everything involving Missy. But lately you felt Jaehyun was the one to do it all. You thought you got so busy with works and it made you grew apart from your task as a mother.

There were nights when projects and works got the best of you, so you didn’t got to spend them with your little family at home. Yes you prepared breakfast for them, you guys had small talk in the morning before all of you off to your own activities, but at night when you were home you had your daughter already asleep in her room.

Jaehyun might spared you hours to talk through the night or for your marriage intimacy, wishpering to your skin that it was okay for him to wait for you. But some nights were just too tiring for both of you to do anything and just slept on your side of the bed. It might not be every single night you came home late, but the idea of your little one forgetting how you put her to bed or sing her lullaby or simply being with her broke you a little inside.

You knew Jaehyun could sense your worries, that was why he kept sending you a soothing gaze across the dining table previously.

Jaehyun was a good—no, good is an understatement. He was a perfect husband. Screw those who said no one is perfect, you had one as your partner for more than five years and you knew, you knew no other word than perfect could fairly described him. Before you met him, you thought no other guy could ever compete with your work ethic. You lived long enough in a belief that no man would want a workaholic woman as a lifetime partner. But then Jaehyun came along.

You met Jung Jaehyun at your last year of internship at some attorney corporation party, and he was still a doctor in the making at that time. Your senior at your law school introduced you to him, a future town’s best cardiothoracic surgeon.

Long short story, he made you fall in love with him. And so he did head over heels in love with you. He was, you could say, like no one else. He was able made you realized that there was nothing to compete about if you love each other. He changed your long-believed belief that a workaholic just need an understanding partner. Like he understood every situation you had, like he was always know when you didn’t feel best. There was no time when he wasn’t there for you when you needed him. He was the one who make your worst day worth living.

Oh, how you would never take him for granted.

And it bugged you a lot that you thought you were the one who couln’t keep up with him now. Did Jaehyun really deserve a wife like you?

A pair of arms slinked around your waist brought you back to reality, turned out you had already finished washing the dishes. Jaehyun kissed your nape softly as you giggled. “You surprised me, Jae.”

“You didn’t hear me coming around?” You hummed and shook your head as you took off the gloves and Jaehyun did you a favor by untying the apron’s string. “Thinking about something else?”

You didn’t answer, instead, you spinned around and latched your arms around Jaehyun’s neck. His brown eyes stared down at yours, equally warm. He brought his lips closer and halted when they hovered milimiters above your lips, smiling as he rubbeb the tip of his nose to yours.

“It was just stuff at the office, nothing big.” You gripped the end of his hair. “How was your day at the hospital?”

“There was a transferred patient from a neighbor hospital. He needed a transfussion they couldn’t provide so we took over,” Jaehyun blew you a sweet kiss. “Nothing major.”

“No big surgery you have to perform?”

“One on Tuesday, I’m gonna lead an aneurysm repair. Other than that one are just CABGs. I’ll supervise the residents,” You smiled to his neck, blowing hot breath as you kissed it slowly. “You wanna talk about it in the shower?”

“Mm-mm, I had a bath with our baby already.”

“Oh right,” Jaehyun let out a chuckle. “Missy did mentioned how you guys took bubble bath together today,” He kissed you gently, you smiled between the kiss. “None of my girls bother inviting me to a bubble bath party anymore.”

You broke away, a grin plastered on your face. “Sorry, I didn’t know I’d be home so early.” You dragged your fingers through his hairs, kissing him back in the same manner as before. You leaned back, resting your tailbone to the cold sink.

“Things happened at work?”

Jeahyun regretted asking you that question because a second later, you broke the kiss away. This time you even pulled your arms from his neck, fingers drew straight lines down his ocean wide shoulders. No words spoken between the two of you during that roughly fifteen seconds moment. Jaehyun watched you closely as you started to open your mouth to speak. “You can talk to me...”

You inhaled, “Do you think I’m a bad mother?”

“And how did you get that silly idea?” Jaehyun frowned. Although his words are lighter, his expression held a deep concern.

You groaned out of frustration, still in your husband’s embrace. “I know we’ve talked about this. And I know you would never not support me nor go against me upon my decision to work after having Missy.

“But I can’t help feeling like a bad mother. I worked my whole damn days instead of being in the middle of you guys.” You sobbed, Jaehyun drew soothing infinity circles on your back. “I know I still go to every parent-teacher conferences, I know I made her breakfast and lunch for her and you. But I don’t want to grow apart from our baby, from you. From our family.

“But things are just, I dont know Jaehyun, messy? I feel so bad for not being there for you when you got home from work most nights. For not being here when Miss got back from school.” You couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down your face, “That’s, that’s not what a good wife do. Even my Mom told me to just quit my job and raise Missy properly.”

“Hey, come here,” Jaehyun laid his palm flat on the back of your head and pulled you in. He hushed you down before he said, “You would never ever be a bad mother for Missy. And you would never ever be a bad wife for me, okay?” you silently cried yourself out on his chest, afraid of waking your little sleeping beauty upstairs. “Maybe you don’t do what most mothers or wifes do. But it doesn’t make you a bad one. Just because the society wants to make you feel bad, doesn’t mean you’re doing bad. And working harder doesn’t make you love us less, honey.

“You’re the best Missy and I could ever ask for in our entire life.”

You engulved Jaehyun in a tight hug, keeping him in your arms like it was your last. You sworn, God sent Jaehyun to completed you. To entangle you in his summer-like embrace everytime you felt the cold that is your problems almost killed you. To ensure you that everything’s going to be alright everytime the weight of the world is on your case.

“I know your parents and mine are sometimes being too intervening. But I know they meant well, darling.” Jaehyun kissed your temple. “But you are Missy’s mother and I’m her father. We’re the one to decide how to raise her properly. Together. And I know we’ve done a great job seeing how sweet and caring she has become.”

You pulled yourself away. You smiled at him, erasing the sticky stain your tears left on your cheeks with the back of your hand. Jaehyun cupped your face, his eyes scanning all of your features one after another longingly.

“You’re so beautiful, angel.”

You brought your lips to his, molding them in yours as your fingers busied themselves unbuttoning Jaehyun’s white shirt. You could feel his hand at the base of your hips, caressing them softly yet invitingly. You knew you’d have to wear that turtle neck sweater to work, but you didn’t care at all. All you wanted now was for Jaehyun to draw galaxy across your body you’d have to cover tomorrow. But tonight, tonight you wanted him.

“Jaehyun,” you wishpered and he murmured against the kiss, “I don’t think three baths a day would hurt anyone.”

You did ended up with three baths that day; one quick shower in the morning, one bubble bath with your astronout princess, also one long and hot shower with your husband. And as the night rolled itself into dawn with you beside Jaehyun, you knew you made your best desicion by saying yes to his proposal years ago. Because now you knew, if it weren’t him and you together, you could never make it.

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serlymurly · 6 years

Text

A RANT ABOUT CHARACTERS, CREATION, AND THE PROCESS OF BEING INSANE

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Let’s have a rant. A good, old fashioned rant about something that’s been nagging at my mind. First, paint the scene;

It’s 6 in the morning. The sun is rising outside. The love of my life is asleep in bed, our cat is in a box lined with a fuzzy blanket that I could have draped around my shoulders because frankly, it’s a bit cold. We have no creamer, and I think coffee wouldn’t help this headache that’s pounding away at my skull - and I have four people talking in my head.

Did I lose you yet? Probably not. It’s pretty straight forward. First - the puppy nailed to the wall. Four people talking in my head, what? Well - technically, I think they’re all me. But on a different level, only two of them are me. Got it?

One of me is going on about how this is all, in fact, a terrible idea and that to post any of this is to admit to a certain kind of insanity that I really shouldn’t be admitting to. This isn’t normal, on any level; I’ve never heard people talk about it, and the only person that I’m aware is actually on point with how I do things in writing is asleep.

The other part of me really wants banana bread, and frankly, I can’t fault that. Can you? Of course you fucking can’t, unless you’re allergic to bananas. Fuck yeah, banana bread.

Then, there’s the other two. One is a face that people who follow me are familiar with; James Oaklen. Don’t know who he is? Probably not! I’ll talk about him later. And he’s having a lovely conversation with this newest creation, this newest part of my intracranial house - Aeslen. But I won’t talk about her. Not yet.

So, yes. Four people. All adamantly talking their points, all actively going on and doing their own thing; existing in some level on a scene that I’ve always had in my head. Let’s explain that bit, shall we? Sorry this is disjointed - again, no coffee.

Flash back I don’t know how many years, and I was a young, young boy. I barely had any understanding of how to type; I’d never played a game outside of Banjo-Kazooie and Super Mario 64, games that required a controller.

I will spare the dirty details, but life at home was not perfect. There was yelling; there was hitting, there was strife, and a family that was slowly tearing itself apart. I could see the writing on the wall when I was 7, that’s how bad it was. So - my mom decides it’s a good idea to introduce me to this game she plays.

A game called Ultima Online.

And holy crap, that was amazing! I spent hours doing nothing of any importance on her computer, on our shitty internet in that crappy home in Ohio, just exploring this world with a character that I had created with my own two hands in a whole other world. This was a concept that I had never experienced; this was a new and exciting frontier for me. I named him Krill because that’s a COOL name and it sounds COOL. I gave him flaming red hair, I made him a paladin, and I spent hours just trying to kill skeletons in a really easy area at the start of the game because I kept forgetting how to fight things.

And then, one day, everything changed. UO, it turns out, maybe just the server I was on - had a very active community of this thing called ‘Role Players’. Weird, right? People who actively played out their characters as real, living things - in this world. Personalities, histories, everything. I stumbled on them by accident when I got lost in the big castle in the main town of the game.

There, at the time, was a bunch of high-end guilds. One was the Orcs (it was just people with orc masks on, but they pretended to be orcs and they rocked at it). There was the Highlanders (they wore kilts and I REALLY WANTED TO BE ONE). There was a merchant guild, and - all these other guilds I feel bad not remembering. And I was just this little seven-year old kid with a character named Krill with flaming red hair that walks into the middle of this big, IC meeting they were having. Imagine them responding to me with actual respect?

Imagine them actually… explaining what they were doing? With respect? I was so awestruck, I asked if I could play. They made me door guard. Boy, LET ME TELL YOU, I took that job so seriously. I stood just outside the meeting and I could see all their little talk, all while making sure nobody entered without permission. I was so hyped.

That, that stuck with me. Okay? Remember that. The idea - the concept that they had presented to me, this way that you could live another life through a digital form. That stuck with me.

But - well, things change. People. Lives. I never really got into the RP scene on that game; I wandered around and pretended to be part of things, but it was mostly them politely recognising me and letting me watch them do stuff. I only had an hour each day online, so it just - wasn’t enough. Eventually, my mom stopped paying for her UO account due to issues. So - back to the nintendo and other things.

Flash forward. Divorce imminent between the two parents. The world is collapsing around us children. My sisters are massive assholes, my brother and I feel like we’re alone together in a sea. So… in a desperate attempt to keep his spirits up, I introduce him to the concept. “Let’s pretend to be Link and go slay invisible monsters!”

Stupid, right? So we pick up sticks and start staying as far away from our house as we could. We’d talk about all the things we were fighting, we’d hit each other with ‘swords’, we’d drag our local friends into it! We just - disassociated. I think for him, it was mostly the swinging the sticks that was interesting; always fighting, always smacking things. But for me? I was using my mind to, you know. Envision such grandiose and wondrous things for us to be fighting! I was imagining landscapes, unspeakable monsters, and the type of person that I would be!

That evolved. Stuff happened again. We moved from where we’d been living to a new environment; Michigan. I like Michigan, don’t get me wrong; fucking love it there. But, well - we were young. I didn’t know anyone, and it was 5th grade. And then - more stuff happened.

I won’t go into nitty details, but one of my sister’s had a major incident occur. This lead to the family being put under more strain, which eventually finally snapped the cord. Grandparents died. One suddenly, one from cancer shortly after. A nasty, nasty divorce that left me feeling horrible. I was convinced that I could have stopped it - all of it. I was convinced that I should have; since I wanted to be that big hero, remember? Since I wanted to shoulder all the burdens.

I took it upon myself to never show any problems outwardly, after that point. I just smiled and acted silly and nobody really paid me much mind. “Oh, he’s always fine!” It’s about this time I got into (GASP) UO again. Freeservers, this time; technically, I think that was illegal, but who cares. I got deep into it; I made my first *real* RP character, who was of course a massive dork. Leone, a grey elf ranger that ate lemons - because I’d convinced *myself* that if you ate enough lemons, you could spit caustic spit? I don’t know, I was weird.

Leone would be my staple character for a long time. So long, in fact, that I began to wonder - as maybe we all do - where he stopped and I began. Sure, he was an elf with magic and grey skin - but personality wise, I felt he was a lot like me!

Then I learned that was a cardinal sin of roleplay. Apparently, you should never - EVER - make a character like yourself. You become too attached - which I did. You become too personally involved - which I did.

Games change, years move on. I went to SWG, I played a new character - Stodosmo Oci (horrible name I know). He was a security officer at a hospital! It was great. I loved it. It was a long, boring time of just sitting and watching doctors RP it out with patients in Mos Entha. And then.. I don’t know. Things. Again.

Went from there to WoW. Technically, I’d been in WoW since Vanilla - but the lore had never struck me as interesting enough to roleplay in seriously until just before BC released. I had a series of characters there, all sharing the same last name; Rodetan. Eventually, as Wrath came to a close, I decided to consolidate them into one large family tree.

WoW’s timeline sucks. That’s all you need to know about that.

Who remembers the early days of WRA? Alliance-side, there was a guild called ‘Stormwind’s Army’. Yes, it was just another military RP guild. Yes, we did a lot of patrolling and policing. It was fun, though; my character rose from an unwashed bum to chief recruitment officer. And then - drama happened. The guild split. I followed the ‘rebels’, and we formed the Vanguard of the Alliance (VotA). That was also fun.

Anyways, I’m sparing you all the nitty-gritty details - but this is where the story, once more, becomes interesting. After so long, VotA eventually fell apart. We all went our separate ways, and eventually three of the officers let me know that they’re still RPing in-game with this new group - Blood of Arathor, I think it was called. I’m asked if I want to join them. I say - sure, but not on the character I’d been using.

At the time, I was - kind of embarrassed of that character. I still am. He’s my best success story, yes, but he felt - I don’t know. Too close to me, in some ways that I won’t get into. So I thought - why not make a NEW character?!

OH BOY.

But there was a problem. And this is what most of this rant was building up to.

I had to build a new character.

From scratch.

Alright, that doesn’t sound so bad, does it? - Except somewhere along the line of creating him - he came alive. In designing him, in creating his personality - I suddenly found that I was physically talking to myself - and in my mind, this quiet man was responding. James Oaklen, Knight of Stromgarde, was telling me about himself.

His goals. His life. His loves. His interests. All about himself; his world. How he felt about certain foods, how he felt about everything.

At the time - I had very, very acute problems in the real world. I was taking drugs, drinking heavily, I was obnoxiously depressed to the point of being borderline suicidal - and… well, this happened. What did it mean?

Don’t answer that. It’s not a real question, because it doesn’t matter.

I accepted that he was who he was - and he’s become one of my favorite recurring personalities in my characters. And he’s not the only one, anymore. At some point, this - new way of creation, this way to create characters that exist in my own mind - just, settled in.

So.. I wanted to document how it works. Sort of. Maybe you at home can replicate it?

I start by closing my eyes. I think about what races there are to choose from, what classes or skillsets; and then I just… start to see a person. Whoa, weird, huh? Just an outline. A faint outline.

So, we reach out with our mind, and we call to them; and they slowly come forward. We get an imprint, a basic idea for what they look like, in our minds. So - we go to the creator and we try to do that. As close as possible.

Then we look at the character. Scars; how did they get them? Each scar is a story in itself, and as you look - they begin to tell you about each one. As if just explaining casually. James has a scar along his neck, which he earned when he almost died defending his Lady - something that he constantly thinks about as a time that he failed.

Or, other big features? James - again, using him as an example - has a large, bushy black moustache. It’s his family’s staple, a sign of their masculinity and proof that an Oaklen has come of age.

And so on. Then, by the time we get to the point where we have to name them, they’ve already told us the most important things. We don’t just have a vague outline in our little mind shack; now, we have a PERSON. And the name? Well… That’s a limitation of the system, baby. Pick something as close to what resembles the name they called themselves, and stick to it.

I could go into more depth. I could go into the process of creating a video where I create a character, but - well, why? It’s just this vague idea that I want to get across right now. I really doubt anyone will read this five-to-seven page long spiel all the way through. But it’s just - interesting, to me. It constantly is there, this - process, these characters, these people. And not just them; worlds come just as easily. Is that the product of an over-active imagination from a man that was desperately seeking to avoid reality and paint a better fiction for himself to sit in? Probably.

But… I don’t know. When it boils down to it, I just let it happen. I get ideas in my head all the time for wondrous worlds, characters and things - but the most agonizing problem is that they can never seem to translate into text or print. I can’t paint worth a damn, I can barely draw - and the one medium I have for escape, Roleplay, is something that I barely do anymore.

So - how do I make it stop? Do I want to make it stop? Should I? How do I harness this? How do I focus it into something specific?

If you made it this far, congratulations. I don’t know how to end it, so I’m just tagging all the mmo’s I’ve ever played or remember playing for giggles. Kudos if you get all of them!

#uo #wow #ffixv #wildstar #swg #coh #cov #co #eq #eq2 #DAOC #Horizons #Rift #Neverwinter #NWN #NWN2 #do nwn count as mmos? I like to think they do #Probably missing some #rant

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princess-cordelias-writingblog · 7 years

Text

I Won’t say I’m in love (Stiles x Reader)

A/N: Yooo I was in such a need for Stiles ma’ boy! (you can tell bc this is long af lmao) I’m glad I had this in my drafts, I love him so much?? I wish I had him??

Listen: This masterpiece

Words: 1845

Warnings: pure fluff and Stiles.

Prompts: #83“I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies.” #92“For some reason, I’m attracted to you.”

Today was a shitty day for sure.

Y/N failed a test, lost her money for lunch, and didn’t see her boyfriend at all.

Y/N was sure the day wasn’t going to get any better, so she sat in the dining room with her books and notebooks, trying to do some homework before something else ruined her day even more.

When she was finishing her essay, there was a knock on the door, and she whined, hoping it wasn’t bad news.

When she opened the door she let out a small squeal, throwing herself into the arms of the person in front of her. Her boyfriend, Stiles.

“Hey, Y/N/N” he chuckled “so I guess you missed me?”

“Yes, of course!” she said, breathing in his scent and sighing “today sucked.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Y/N spent the next hour sharing the information with extreme detail and some sarcastic comments, Stiles listened, nodding and saying “oh, no!” when he felt like he had to, relieved, she sighed and looked at the boy with a small smile.

“But I have to say” Y/N added, “That my day has gotten a lot better now you’re here.”

“Always a pleasure, babe” Stiles smirked, then he stood up “I was thinking, now that I’m here and considering that I didn’t see you at school -and that was a tragedy, to be honest- would you like to watch some movies or something?”

“Sure!” Y/N left her chair in the kitchen and walked with him to the living room, where she turned on the TV and threw him a blanket.

“Wait!” he said, “don’t you want food?”

“I’d love popcorn” she admitted “I’ll bring it”

“Let me” he walked out of the room and straight to the kitchen “where do you have it?”

“Uh…” Y/N sat on the couch in front of her television, going to Netflix and typing the word “Hercules” with no second thought “I think it’s next to the fridge”

Five minutes after she heard the sound of popcorn being made and felt her stomach empty, the girl decided to help her boyfriend in the kitchen with the drinks, she made her way to the room and watched him for a second, smiling to herself.

He was doing a little dance while waiting for the food to be ready, his back was facing her and she bit her lip to avoid laughing, god, was she in love of that dork.

Oh god, she was in love with Stiles, she truly loved him.

They had been dating for almost a year now, and she knew that there were only two options after that One-year line, they could either break up, or they could fall deeply in love with each other even more, Y/N was hoping it was the latter, she really enjoyed his company.

Stiles and Y/N weren’t really close at first, but they did know each other since they were kids, they were in the same class during middle school and used to hang out sometimes, but then Y/N met Lydia and stopped seeing Stiles as often as before, she missed him but never really thought about him until sophomore year, when Allison and Scott started dating.

She was afraid that maybe Stiles would be mad at her, after all, she kind of abandoned him and Scott, but she was lucky, he wasn’t mad, a bit upset and confused because she left without saying goodbye, but she could tell he was happy to have her back, and so was she.

Almost as if was destiny, they grew closer, she developed strong feelings for the boy, and the day of Stiles’ birthday they finally kissed.

She always wondered if Stiles had liked her back in that moment or if he was in love with her before, but was too shy to ask. It didn’t matter anyway, they were together and that was the important part.

The only thing that bothered her, was that none had said “I love you” to the other and that honestly scared her. She’d have loved to say that to him anytime, but she was afraid that maybe he couldn’t say it back.

Still, that phrase was constantly in her mind, especially when she was around Stiles.

She shook her head, frowning, “Enough, right now I just want to enjoy his company.” She thought.

“Are you having fun?” she laughed at the way he turned to look at her, wide eyes and open mouth.

“No need to explain, silly boy” Y/N walked closer to him. “I don’t mind, I actually think you look adorable when you dance.”

“Shut up” He groaned “be nice and pass me a bowl”

The girl did as he asked, then grabbed two glasses and looked at him over his shoulder “You want water or soda?”

“Who eats popcorns with water?” he huffed.

“Fine, I was just asking…”

Once the food was ready, Stiles followed his girlfriend to the living room and groaned out loud, not even trying to hide his disappointment.

“Seriously, Y/N? Disney?”

“They’re gold!” she exclaimed, “I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies.”

“They’re not even accurate!” He complained “take that as an example” he signaled to the TV “Hercules is a demigod, not a god, Hera is not her mother and I’m pretty sure she was the one who wanted him dead.”

“I know that Stiles” she rolled her eyes “and then he goes nuts and kills his children, lovely story.”

“So if you know that, why do you like it?”

“Because it’s part of my childhood, you dumbass” Y/N sat in the middle of the couch, Stiles on her left, “you think a child cares about accuracy?”

“I did” He replied matter-of-factly.

“And that’s the reason I’m your first girlfriend” she teased him.

“First and only” He winked, kissing her cheek “I’m not letting you go”

“Great” she smiled “now be quiet and watch the movie”

Y/N notice that Stiles was doing a huge effort to keep his comments to himself, but every time that a song started -which was quite often- she could almost feel him rolling his eyes and moaning quietly by her side, she appreciated the little sacrifices he made for her happiness.

After a while, she stood up quietly from her seat, Stiles immediately straightened on his place “What are you doing?”

“I have to pee” she frowned “don’t worry I’ll be back in a second”

“Do you want me to pause the movie?”

“No it’s okay, I’ll be quick” she smiled down at him, turning on her heels.

She really tried to be quick, Y/N didn’t want to let Stiles alone for too long because she knew that he would end up falling asleep and she wanted to spend as much time as she possibly could with him.

Y/N got out of the bathroom, she heard her favorite song from the movie and walked a little bit faster.

“Okay, I’m ba-”

“…face it like a grown-up, When ya gonna own up that ya got, got, got it bad!…”

The girl had to cover her mouth with both hands so she wouldn’t laugh at the sight of the boy: Stiles was on the couch, his full attention on the screen and singing, the lying bastard knew the freaking lyrics of the song.

Y/N stared at him amazed by the hidden talent he had, she snorted, not able to hold back her laugh “Oh my god…”

Stiles turned so fast he fell from his seat, he cursed loudly, pausing the movie and standing up, bright red.

“I can explain”

“Sure” she smirked, “So you don’t like Disney, right?”

“I don’t!” He agreed “it’s just- I mean- THAT SONG IS GOOD OK?”

Y/N laughed again, bending over and supporting her weight on the wall “Oh god, why didn’t I have my phone with me?”

“Great, keep laughing at me, I don’t care” Stiles retorted “I’m just your boyfriend, is not like you have to treat me right or anything”

“Give me a break” she smirked “my day was terrible and you’ve been the highlight of it for sure”

“Unbelievable” he insisted “I’m not the class clown, you know? you should respect me more.”

“Sorry, princess” she joked.

Stiles looked at her with annoyance “You’re a terrible girlfriend, but for some reason, I’m attracted to you.”

“I think it might have to do with the fact that we’re best friends and I’m literally the only person that can stand your sarcasm besides Scott?” she inquired.

“Yeah, that’s very likely” He answered, licking his lips.

“Calm down Stiles, I’m just joking” she walked closer to him, the boy hugged her by the waist.

“I know,” he sighed, smiling “that’s exactly why I love you”

Y/N could’ve sworn that her heart skipped a beat, standing there in the arms of the person that she loved the most, he took her breath away.

“Please, say something before I panic” Stiles said.

Y/N blinked a couple times before she realized that she hadn’t said it back, her heart -that moments ago was completely still- was now pounding against her chest, making her blood run rapidly through her veins.

“Stiles, I love you so much” she leaned towards him, and Stiles kissed her.

Y/N wasn’t sure of what was different this time, but the kiss was so intense and full of passion that made her head spin.

She ran her hands through his silky hair and enjoyed the warmth of his body against hers, they broke the kiss, breathing heavily.

Y/N was unable to open her eyes, drunk with his scent, Stiles looked at her in awe, his mouth slightly open.

“That was…” He whispered in a hoarse voice “perfect”.

She looked up at him, blinking away the blur “Yeah…”

They stood there in silence, memorizing each other faces as if it was their last day together, though they had a feeling that this was just starting.

“We should, uh, go back to the movie” Stiles mumbled.

“Right” Y/N nodded, then she intertwined her fingers with his and walked over to the couch, he sat first, reaching for the remote and unpaused the movie, the girl cuddled against his chest, sighing in content.

“Thank you for coming here, you’re the best.”

“No problem, babe” He kissed the top of her head, hugging her closer “and I didn’t mean what I said before, ya know? you’re not a terrible girlfriend, actually, I truly believe you’re the girl of my dreams”

“I believe that too” She smiled “I mean that I’m the girl of your dreams, but you’re pretty cool too.”

He gasped, pretending to be offended “I take it back.”

“Just kidding!” she chuckled “I love you, Stiles, and I always will, so you better start saving money for the wedding” Y/N joked.

“You’re late babe, I already did” He winked “and trust me, I love you more.”

#stiles stilinski fluff #teen wolf imagine #danny's writing #writing prompt #stiles x reader

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adoringjensen · 7 years

Note

lately whenever i think about supernatural or other stuff i like i dont normally get idk excited like i normally would. like im even thinking about the day i met misha and for some reason i dont get happy. its not bc im ungrateful bc really im glad i got the chance to meet him but idk. and like whenever i think about one of my fave fictional characters (fred weasley for example) i dont get happy and the urge to enthuse abt him like i normally would. why is this happening to me?

Hey there, anon :)

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this right now. It’s a very frustrating thing, and I can completely empathize with you on this. This is actually a very common symptom of depression. Losing interest in hobbies, things that used to make you happy don’t seem to mean anything to you anymore, and a general lack of interest or caring in,,, well, anything. It’s confusing to try and understand it at first, but that’s kinda just how depression is. The symptoms are just there and it’s practically impossible to put the feelings into words. It’s like you’re just kind of existing and nothing around you offers the same comfort or stimulation it used to. Sometimes those happier feelings come back. And honestly? Sometimes they don’t. And it’s okay to mourn something that was a big part of your life that isn’t anymore, because it feels different now.

I will share something with you, anon. Because this is a difficult and confusing thing to go through, and I want you to know that you’re not alone in this. I used to be really, really, really into music. I was a clarinetist so serious about my love of music that I was an aspiring performance major. I wanted to turn my passion into my career. Music was practically my sole hobby, all I would do, all I would really have time for, was practice, go to rehearsals, go to lessons, go to auditions, perform, and practice some more. It made me happy to perform on stage, to study under world-class musicians, and to learn difficult pieces of music. It was incredibly stressful, but at my core, it was what I loved and I knew it made me happy. So when it came time to go to college, I was excited to finally be able to focus only on this. Only on what I loved. No more bullshit high school classes I didn’t care about. I would be able to play with other musicians that shared the same love and passion for playing as I did. I was super excited about college, bc I was convinced this was where I’d really thrive.

Unfortunately, that didn’t turn out to be true. I ended my senior year of high school in a very bad place, and while I thought moving to college would be a step forward for me, it actually made everything a million times worse. I won’t get into all the details, but long story short: I don’t practice music like I used to. It no longer gives me the same feelings it did before. I feel a lot of pressure and expectation put on me and it’s just,,, really not the same. And I don’t think it ever will be. Ever since moving back home, I’ve barely picked up an instrument. And it’s been an entire grieving process to accept that I’m not going to be what I always thought I would be. It still makes me really sad to think about sometimes. But I still hold out the hope that someday, I’ll get back into it in a less intense way. I’ll play only for fun here and there when I want to. But right now? I’m actually focused in the direction of graphic design. I’ve managed to find something else that now gives me some sense of purpose. And I really didn’t think I would be able to find that again.

My point is, anon, that while we may lose things that were especially meaningful to us, or drift away from things that used to make us happy or excited, that doesn’t mean we don’t have the ability to find something else like that again. I never ever, in a million years would’ve thought this is the direction I would be going in. I was set firm in the music path. But here I am. And it’s actually very common to go through a lot of changes at this stage in life. Sometimes that’s comforting to hear, sometimes not so much. But know it’s okay. You’re not alone. This experience may be terrifying as all hell, but you know what? This gives you an advantage over everybody else. Maybe you go through a bunch of different hobbies trying to find the one for you that gives you that feeling. And because of that, you’ll have done so much more than anyone else around you. You’ll have more experience to learn what you like and what you don’t. And the most important thing: you’ll learn a lot more about yourself. You’ll get to know yourself a lot better, stay in tune with your emotions and learn what helps you cope, what makes you anxious, what makes you hurt, what makes you smile.

The best thing you can do right now is to take care of you. And do whatever it is that you need. Always have somebody to talk to. Even if you don’t like opening up, please just have someone around that you know will listen. Somebody you’re comfortable with. Whether that be a therapist, a friend, a parent, whoever. Having someone like that is really fucking important. It helps so much more than you think right now. And if you need to, see a doctor. See a psychiatrist. The right balance of medication can really help to stabilize you and put you in the right direction. Be willing to try different things, because you never know what could be helpful to you at this time in your life. Something that may not have been helpful in the past could actually be helpful now. And if you find out that something isn’t for you? That’s okay. Take a breath and move on to the next thing when you’re ready. Because there are things out there that are helpful. There are things out there that will make you happy again. It’s okay to change. You just have to find out what’s right for you. It can be a long, difficult process to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. But I’m telling you it’s possible.

And there’s always ups and downs. I feel what you’re saying anon, I feel it so fucking deep in my chest. When I think of the times I’ve met Jared, Jensen, and Misha,,, it actually tends to give me a lot of anxiety and I have to stop thinking about it before I get myself too worked up. I won’t get those happy feelings or get all excited about it like I’ve heard so many other people do. And that right there just depresses me further. So anon, I’m with ya. 100%. I feel what you’re saying. And it really does feel like “why is this happening to me” bc you literally did nothing? It’s not your fault you’re feeling like this. None of this is your fault. You’re feeling the way you are, and that’s okay. It’s okay not to get happy about things you think you “should” be. I think accepting and knowing that this is a part of something you can’t control will make things smoother for you. Getting frustrated at yourself only ever causes things to spiral.

So anon, I hope I didn’t make you feel any worse or anything lmao. I just want you to know that this is a very real thing and that it is manageable. The more you know about it, the more you know about yourself, the more people you have in your support system, the better things are going to go for you. Again, I need to say how fucking important it is to have someone to talk to. Someone you’re comfortable with and know will listen and make you feel safe. It’s something that has done a hell of a lot for me when I didn’t think it would. So take care of yourself. Celebrate the little things. Turn little tasks into achievements. You took a shower today? Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Look at you go, you did that!! You’re doing amazing! Maybe it sounds silly right now, but we need these little things to keep us going. Just focus on one day at a time.

It’s a huge thing to recognize this, anon. You’re already a step ahead. If you ever need to talk about anything, to just write it down and get it out there? I’m right here. If you have questions or anything, I’m right here. I’ll be that person for you if you need me to be. Things are going to be okay. Get yourself some ice cream or something, alright? Treat yourself, because you deserve that shit. I’ll be thinking about you :) Lots of love xx

#advice column #tw depression #non spn #anonymous #answered

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arcs-and-blah · 7 years

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remember when i made this post about otp in disneyland then said i’d do a california adventures on a bad day? well.... here’s the california adventures part!!

OTP California Adventures HC fluff!!

alright, so they get there in the morning right? well Nijimura just springing to Paradise Pier before the lines get too long and of course he’s holding onto Akashi the whole time. good thing he’s an athlete hehe

they go to Toy Story Mania first bc yeah there’s no fastpasses for that ride. it’s basically astroblaster take two! I feel Akashi would enjoy Mania a bit more because there’s so much to it. high score anyone!

(they come back later in the evening bc Nijimura gotta see and yep the high score still there. heck Akashi beat it the second time through)

afterwards is Screamin’! Akashi’s hair is even worse than when he was in Tomorrowland’s rides. and Nijimura of course been on the ride a thousand times, so he knows when the camera is cue silly faces! Akashi’s just like ‘why’ bc maybe he’d want the photo! doesn’t matter bc yeah Akashi would definitely want the photo Nijimura was cute.

oh no on the ride, they do that count down thing at the pier before they shoot you through the ride right? well just Nijimura watching Akashi, Akashi’s like ‘what are you looking at?’ and Nijimura fucking loses it laughing because he’s never see Akashi so startled and discomposed.

continuing down the pier, Nijimura has to stop Akashi from playing the boardwalk games. he does not succeed. Akashi winning toys for little kiddies all around!

they go on Mickey’s Fun Wheel! Nijimura wants to go in the moving cart. Akashi unknowingly gives the okay. Akashi feels lied to when it comes to the name. it’s not fun. he’s feeling so nauseous and as green as Midorima. Nijimura feels bad, but he can’t help but smile as he comforts Akashi.

“Shuuzou, get me off this ride.” “aw come on, Sei. just two more circles. you can do it!”

they give you barf bags in the cart for the moving ones, the mom from the family sitting with them sympathetically passes it to Akashi. Akashi’s never going on another ferris wheel.

afterwards, Nijimura asks if Akashi wants to try the Golden Zephyer. Akashi’s prepare to shove his boyfriend into the water.

they decide to take it slow with Jumpin’ Jellyfish so Akashi’s nausea can calm down. not that they mind the slow ride. it was cute and yeah a nice change of pace! Nijimura points out the ride they’re going on next. and just when Akashi got his stomach back.

Goofy’s Sky School! Akashi sits on the left while Nijimura on the right. this is important bc there are more sharp left turns, so Nijimura cushioning his dear boyfriend during a sharp turn.

OH MY GOSH every time Akashi slides into him, Nijimura gives him a sweet kiss on the cheek!! Akashi’s new favorite ride!

okay now Akashi’s okay to go on circle-y rides. Silly Symphony and Golden Zephyer! which were both actually very relaxing. same with Ariel’s Undersea Adventure!

psst. They overheard a little girl pointing at them like ‘they look like Ariel and Eric’ bc hair color and ADORABLENESS! (idea from something Toki said a while back hehehe~)

okay by now it’s definitely like very hot. hotter than morning sun, afternoon sun. anyway, Nijimura decides it’s definitely time to head to Grizzly Peak for the Grizzly River Run! the two of them take sooo many pictures while waiting in line bc of the pretty waterfall and everything.

Akashi seated spot in the circle makes it so he’s backwards at first. getting unexpected wet when those ‘leaky pipes’ drips over him. also, curled up a bit when preparing the the first ‘drop’ (that tiny one) and Nijimura can die happy his boyfriend is so cute. Akashi is prepared to kill Nijimura himself with how he’s being teased.

jokes on Nijimura. he sat on the side seats and got most wet. well at least that was what they were going for with the heat and all.

walking to their next destination, at a crossroad at Cars Land and “A Bug’s Land.” they got Cars Land. Nijimura know what he doing!

Mater’s Junkyard Jamboree! Akashi returning the kisses Nijimura gave him earlier ( /)//////(\)

they probably go on Luigi’s Flying Tires but i’ve never been on it myself since every time i go it’s always down so i can’t give my thoughts im sorry

finally another fast pace ride! Radiator Springs Racers! Nijimura doesn’t know what to think when their car wins the little race the ride does. i mean, it’s 50/50 chance and all, but seriously Akashi! doesn’t need to do anything and still a win!

now this is what i mean when Nijimura knows what he’s doing. they cut into “A Bug’s Land.” now, they’re pretty much all smaller rides, but that doesn’t mean Akashi doesn’t love the place.

Nijimura couldn’t help but laugh when Akashi compliments the park designers’ work, making it so they ‘shrink’ down to bug sizes and all!

hehe catching ‘It’s Tough to be a Bug’ show~

okay. not time for one of Nijimura’s favorite rides. Hollywood Tower of Terror! Akashi hesitant bc freaking free falls, but Nijimura still taking in right in~

Nijimura not saying anything when they’re going up and Akashi’s holding into his hand super tightly despite his face not super freaked out. Though, Nijimura knows bc Akashi’s eye’s are narrowed.

going up and up and up and DROP “DEAR GOD I WASN’T READY!” ~ Akashi Seijuurou 2k1X

may or may not be based off real thing i did on the ride

Akashi mad at Nijimura yet again for teasing and laughing at him.

Nijimura wanting the photo at this ride bc hIS BOYFRIEND TOO CUTE

Akashi finally on sweet sweet land again, but nope! Nijimura taking back back to Grizzly Peak! They going to Soarin’! (i take offense to anyone who’d think i forget)

Akashi wonders why they didn’t go after River Run since they’re next to each other, but then feels the nice AC inside and yeah soaking wet to AC’ed room probably not the best

now this i can see being one of Akashi’s fav rides too! bc it really does feel like they’re soaring and the artificial wind blowing feels so nice and the scenery is so great and well done Disney hehe~

btw, it’s probably still daylight, yet to went to pretty much all the rides in California Adventures, so they park hop and chill at Disneyland again for a bit. go on a few rides a second time.

oh! maybe catch the Aladdin show! hehe, Akashi poking fun and like ‘well, we can definitely relate to the Aladdin story’. Nijimura like ‘what’ but then caught the jeer about him being a delinquent ‘street rat’ and yeah Akashi freaking rich kid. Nijimura gets back at him by calling him princess

they come back for World of Color at night though and WORLD OF COLOR! they got a good spot bc Nijimura was sprinting to the ticket line that morning before Toy Story Mania and yeah come first for color seating (this and here if anyone wanna check it out bc it pretty! from youtube)

Akashi finds the music and visuals shown on the water so charming and cute. Also! mini animation history lesson!

Nijimura just watched Akashi’s eyes light up before with the fireworks, now he gets to relive it with the World of Color!!

MORE FLUFF AND CUDDLES AS THEY STAND AND WATCH!!

when it ends, Akashi asks if they’re all done with California Adventures. Nijimura takes him to one last ride: King Triton’s Carousel! Akashi laughing at some of the sea creature designs, setting for a cute otter bc OTTERS (yall know how much i love otters~)

when they finally do leave, they exit the park and notice the fireworks going off at Disneyland. so they stay to watch that once more hehe~

this one is 42 points! and yeah definitely brought back my mood again hehe~ never know, i might do a mini Downtown Disney one just in case i get dressed again later. this really does work, but there’s only 2 Disney parks i’m SUPER familiar with

you guys! let me know if you went through this one too! and share other NijiAka in Disneyland hc stuff too! or NijiAka in general! or even other ships you might share with me in Disneyland! actually, i could do that too with other otps hehe~

thanks for reading my long ass hcs if you did!

#another NijiAka installment!#arcs blah

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stillgeekingout · 7 years

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iiiiiiit’s time for another chapter of the ultimate aaron milverton crossover fic!

this one got obnoxiously long but bear with me. also, you have to have read part 2 of shannen’s secret santa fic for rachel for parts of it to make sense.

previous: 1 here, 2 here, 3 here, 4 here, 5 here, 6 here

A week after returning to DC, Zoe Lasnammer got a phone call from a girl.

“Hello?”

“Zoe! Is that you?”

It wasn’t Hera-- they hadn’t actually exchanged numbers, and Zoe had decided not to stalk her on facebook (no sense getting a crush on a girl who lived so many states away). So she had put away the pink ladies jacket, a keepsake from an enjoyable weekend and nothing more.

“Sorry, who is this?” Zoe asked. The girl’s voice sounded familiar, but she talked to a lot of people because of work so that didn’t help to narrow anything down.

“It’s me! Violet!”

“Violet…?” She tried to rack her brain for someone she may have talked to recently.

“Violet Hunter! Remember? I saved your life from a bus?”

“Wait--the alien girl?” Zoe couldn’t believe that this girl she barely knew would actually be contacting her two years after their brief meeting.

“I told you I’d call if I was ever in DC again!” Violet sounded excited. “Anyway--”

“How did you get this number?”

“I just moved here with my wife and husband,” Violet went on as if Zoe hadn’t said anything, “and I was thinking we should get lunch or something!” Zoe vaguely remembered the girl telling her something about a proposal in the works. Must’ve worked out, she thought.

“Violet, listen, I… enjoyed meeting you but I don’t know if--”

“How about tomorrow? I’ll meet you on your lunch break. You don’t have to bring the aliens.” And with that, Violet hung up.

Zoe stared at her phone, unsure what exactly had just happened.

------

To: Aaron Milverton

Subject: Checking in

Hey bro, how’s everything going? I haven’t heard from you since the con, I want to know all the awesome stuff you and your chapter are achieving!

-Chad

The email from Chad came almost exactly one month after Aaron realized he had feelings for him. It had been a month of moving forward, of settling into his brand new Orlando B4B chapter, and most importantly, of attempting to distract himself from thoughts of Chad. He had almost started succeeding at it, too, before Chad apparently felt the urge to “check in” with him. Which meant that Chad was thinking about him. Which meant that of course Aaron would have to spend the rest of the day thinking about Chad thinking about him. All that progress, right down the drain.

It wasn’t like he had intended to cut Chad out of his life. But how was he supposed to carry on a friendship with Chad if the whole time he was thinking about how pretty (and unavailable) he was? How would he even go about starting that conversation? Hey dude, sorry I acted so weird before, it’s just that every time I see you or think about you I get all flustered and have to lie down. But it’s cool, what’s up with you? What a disaster.

Now, though, here was Chad breaking the awkward month-long silence. He had cared enough to reach out to Aaron and ask about his life. Even with romantic feelings set aside, Aaron found it reassuring that he hadn’t been imagining Chad wanting to be friends with him beyond just organizing the con. If only he could get over himself and enjoy that friendship for what it was.

He decided to text Kate. Ever since she found out that he hadn’t told her about his correspondence with Chad the first time around, she had been giving him a hard time about keeping secrets from her. Maybe she’d have advice. Either way, it’d make her feel like he was including her.

so chad emailed me

?????????

aaron you can’t just say that and not follow up with details

hellooooo

he just said he wanted to “check in” on my new chapter

idk what to say back

talk to him!!!

ok but. how.

tell him about the chapter you dork

He started typing “why, it’s not like that’ll change his mind about anything” then deleted it. Then he typed “idk if I really want to be friends with him when I’m finally starting to” and stopped again. Starting to what? Get over him? Stop thinking about him? Both of those went out the window as soon as he saw that email. His phone vibrated as he was typing his third attempt.

stop overthinking it bc I know that’s what you’re doing

Aaron smiled.

can’t help it

I know.

I think you’ll regret losing a potential friendship

but idk, if you really don’t think you can handle it maybe just break it off

that makes me sound so fragile lol

um, are you not?

shut up

stop texting me and write the damn email aaron

He sighed and tossed his phone aside.

Chad,

He watched his cursor blink on the screen for several minutes, then closed his email and opened a word document. He had seen enough movies to know never to write an “I’m not actually going to send this” email somewhere it could be sent accidentally.

Chad,

I don’t know if I’m happy to hear from you. I keep telling myself you’re just a crush and I’ll get over it soon, but it feels like more than that sometimes. I’ve had some weird dating experiences in the past… or I guess just the one. I told you a little about my ex-girlfriend (who I usually try not to think about) but what I didn’t tell you is that she was involved in my cousin’s murder, and she was basically using me to investigate him. It’s a long story, but I really liked her and it was hard to move on from that knowing that I never meant anything to her except evidence. So anyway ever since then I’ve just been extra cautious, I guess.

It’s kind of scary to like someone again, and I’m not sure if it makes it worse or better knowing ahead of time that the person in question isn’t going to want to date me. It does make me feel better that you’re not dating anyone, not just rejecting me specifically. I don’t know if I ever stood a chance with you, or if you even like guys, but I selfishly don’t want to have to imagine you with someone else.

That sounds really creepy. I’m sorry. It’s a really good thing I’m not actually going to send this.

Anyway, um, give me some time to decide if I still want to be friends. I do, logically, but we’ll see if I can stop thinking about your eyes and hair and smile and voice every time I’m reminded of you.

Time to write my normal email that I’m actually gonna send.

-Aaron

He closed word and opened his email again, feeling like he had gotten all the hard stuff out of the way.

Chad,

So good to hear from you-- thanks for following up! We’re doing really well here, we just started a beach clean-up project along with a few high schools along the coast that already have cleaning days set in place. Also, B4B is a registered club at UCF now so we’ve teamed up with them for some new initiatives…

He went on to describe everything his chapter had been doing since the con, taking care not to get too personal in case Chad really did just want to check in from a service standpoint. He finished the email with “what about you, how are things on your end? -Aaron” and sent it before he could over analyze it too much.

------

“Zoe! Hey, Zoe!”

Zoe was greeted at the steps of her job by an excitedly waving Violet Hunter. She sighed. She knew Violet’s heart was (probably) in the right place, but she didn’t overly feel like befriending this girl who was convinced that Blair and Alex were aliens (and who had stalked her to the point of finding out her phone number, the location she worked and the time of her lunch break).

“Hey, Violet,” she said. “I guess I won’t bother to ask how you found me.”

“You could,” said Violet proudly. “I did it alone, Sherlock lives here now too but she never helps me with this stuff.”

“Okay?” Zoe didn’t know who Sherlock was, and she didn’t actually want to know how Violet tracked her down.

“So, lunch?” Violet said brightly. “Sorry Eliza and John couldn’t make it, I wanted them to meet you. That’s my wife and husband.”

“Um, right. Hey, congratulations on that,” said Zoe, suddenly feeling very single next to a girl with two spouses.

“Thanks! I still wish we could’ve had Blair’s alien fountain magic for the proposal but I’m mostly just glad I didn’t have to do it.”

“There’s a sandwich place around the corner,” Zoe said, not wanting to talk about Blair with Violet.

“Great!” Violet started walking, and Zoe had to skip a little to catch up.

“So, what brings you to DC?” Zoe asked, figuring if Violet was going to insist on hanging out they might as well get to know each other.

“John and Eliza are working at the Smithsonian. And I’m sort of helping Sherlock.”

“Oh, ok.” She didn’t know where to go from there. She still didn’t know who Sherlock was.

“How are Blair and Alex?” Violet asked, narrowing her eyes. “Are you still their companion?”

“Again, I wouldn’t phrase it like that… but they’re fine.”

“And how does your family feel about you living with aliens?”

“Um, it’s just my mom. And she doesn’t know.”

“Ohhhh,” Violet said, then whispered, “Would she compromise the mission?”

“What? No,” said Zoe. “There is no mission.”

“Riiiiight,” said Violet, and winked. “Ooh, is this it? Yum.” They had reached the sandwich shop.

Zoe made small talk for the rest of lunch, but she was distracted by what Violet had said. It was a bit odd, she realized, that she had been living with Alex and Blair in DC for over two years and her mom still thought they were humans. Zoe had introduced them a couple times when her mom was visiting, but she never let them interact with her for long and she made sure Alex used the same human form every time. Her mom had a hard enough time figuring out “they” pronouns, how would she process the truth about Zoe’s godly friends?

But on the other hand, Zoe was used to telling her mom everything. This was such a big secret, one she had gotten used to keeping, but would she just continue it for the rest of her life? It was bad enough being so far away from her mom. Not being able to share every silly thing her friends said or did without heavily filtering her stories was draining after a while.

Zoe couldn’t believe it had taken a very confused (but well-meaning) conspiracy theorist stalker to make her see sense, but she resolved to tell her mom the truth while she was home for Thanksgiving. And at the end of lunch, she found herself agreeing to meet up with Violet again later that week.

------

Aaron,

Sounds fire! I’m really happy for you that you found a good group of people. We’ve been so blessed throughout this whole thing. I feel completely sure now that Blair is watching over us and that she’s proud of us. You indirectly gave me that knowledge through holding the con, and I continue to be grateful for it.

Anyway, enough about B4B, how are you? How’s Kate? How are your parents and Madison? Do they miss you?

-Chad

Aaron read the email several times. Chad continuing to thank him was silly. He owed Aaron no thanks, considering he had started everything in the first place. None of them would have been able to meet Blair, let alone know who she was, without his dedication. More than that, though, it struck him that Chad remembered not only Kate but his little sister’s name and cared enough to ask about both of them.

This time, he didn’t feel the need to write a fake response.

My family’s doing pretty well, I think. I’m going to visit for Thanksgiving so that should be good. Maybe they miss having me around but honestly Orlando is closer to Jacksonville than Doyle was. Maddie keeps saying she wants to come visit me so she can go to Disney World. I don’t think she gets that it’s not cheaper just because I live here now.

He went on to talk about his parents a little more and how he was sure they would buy Disney tickets for winter break to see the Christmas decorations even though they knew it would be miserable and crowded. Then he told Chad about Kate and her latest endeavors.

I’m really grateful to have her to talk to… it gets a little lonely here sometimes. The other members of my new chapter are really great but I don’t know them too well yet. It does make me miss my SACU group. We still talk a little and I’m always happy to hear from them but it’s just hard not to have that dynamic that I got used to over the past couple years, you know?

Chad’s response:

I know I can’t replace your school friends and I know you can still rely on Kate, but I want you to know I’m here for you too if you need someone else to talk to. I care about you, bro.

It was more than Aaron could handle. He shut his laptop and took deep breaths.

Over the next several weeks, they continued emailing back and forth. Sometimes Aaron confessed his true feelings in his secret word document, other times he texted Kate in frustration, but mostly he savored every time he saw that Chad had replied. He had tried to look at it as an opportunity for friendship, but it was futile. With every email he fell for Chad more and more.

Why did Blair have to encourage Chad’s sworn singledom? Would Chad be interested in something beyond friendly email correspondence if she hadn’t? Would that even matter, considering they didn’t live in the same place? Why couldn’t Aaron move on?

------

“Let’s go over it one more time,” said Zoe, putting her van in park in her mom’s driveway. “You guys don’t say anything until I bring it up. Then Alex will change forms, but only when I’ve said that it’s ok, and then--”

Blair sighed from the passenger seat, absentmindedly fiddling with the necklace she always wore. “Zoe, honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. I told your mother we were gods years ago.”

“And then we’ll explain, but just the basics, and nothing about all those people you vaporized,” Zoe finished, ignoring her. “I don’t want her to think I’m living with serial killers.”

“Alex has never killed anyone, have you Alex?” Blair said, as though cutting it down to only one serial killer was helpful.

“Nope!” Alex said brightly. “Well I mean, unless you count the people in the fire…”

“No bringing up the fire either. No murders, no accidental arson, just two benevolent gods who happen to like living with a human… because she’ll believe that,” Zoe said, doubting her whole plan. “Agh, why didn’t I do this sooner? Now she’s going to know I’ve been lying to her for years.”

“It’s ok,” said Alex. “She’ll understand. And we’re here for you no matter what.”

Zoe took a deep breath, then unbuckled her seat belt. “Okay,” she said, exhaling. “Let’s do this.”

------

Hey bro, would you believe I have a layover in the JAX airport on my way to Miami for Thanksgiving? Made me think of you.Too bad I don’t have enough time to come visit, that would’ve been sweet. But dude, we’ll be in the same city for a few minutes at least. Kind of a nice thought.

-Chad

If he didn’t want to actually kill Aaron, Chad was going to have to stop being so cute. It was too much to deal with.

Chill, Aaron told himself, you’ll be in the slight geographical vicinity of each other for like, half an hour. Big whoop.

He managed to talk himself out of several hastily-concocted reasons to be at the airport on the same day as Chad’s layover; it wasn’t like he would get past TSA without a flight anyway. He attempted (unsuccessfully, for the most part) to push the email out of his mind.

Being home for Thanksgiving was a welcome distraction. Between helping his parents clean the house for guests and hanging out with his little sister, Aaron was almost busy enough to forget about his loneliness and his unrequited crush and all the other things that were bothering him. Key word: almost. He couldn’t help but occasionally remember that he and Chad would be in the same city and not be able to see each other.

On Tuesday morning, he and Madison were watching Moana on the couch when he got an email notification.

Hey dude! Hope your break is going well. Funny story, my second flight is majorly delayed so I’m stuck in Jacksonville until tonight! I don’t know how close you are to the airport or if you have stuff going on with the fam but did you want to get lunch or something? Btw, I’m realizing email probs isn’t the best for making plans- text me if you see this.

And then Chad had given Aaron his number.

The very first thing Aaron did was text Kate a screenshot of the email with many exclamation points. Then he opened a text to Chad and wrote “bro it’s aaron, omw to the airport now :)” Then he took off the smiley face, added an exclamation point, and sent it.

“Hey Maddie, I’ll be back later, okay?” he said, standing up. “I’m going to get lunch with my friend.”

“But you’re gonna miss away away!” Maddie said. “Away away” was what she called the song that the explorers sang in the flashback. Even two years after the movie had come out, she was obsessed with it. Aaron had already heard the soundtrack at least three times the day before.

“We can watch it again when I get back,” he said. “Promise.”

He told his parents he was meeting a friend from B4B who’d had an unexpected layover, then drove to the airport as fast as his law-abiding self would allow. As he was pulling into the pickup/dropoff section of the airport, his phone rang. He answered, not stopping to look who was calling.

“Hello?”

“Aaaaaaahhhhh!”

“Kate, chill,” he said. (Of course it wasn’t Chad.) “We’re going to lunch, it’s not like it’s a date.”

“I maintain my ‘aaaaahhhhh’,” Kate said. “Are you on your way to the airport?”

“Pulling in now, yeah.” He realized he hadn’t texted Chad to tell him where to go.

“Are you gonna eat there? Or are you going somewhere? Did he say anything else? Are you--”

“Kate!” Aaron cut her off. “I don’t know where we’re going. I have to tell him I’m here though, so--”

“Oh of course, I don’t want to hold you up!” But she kept talking anyway. “Aah I can’t believe he’s going to be in your car! Ok well remember every detail, I want the full story when you get home.”

“Obviously,” he said. “But nothing’s going to happen.”

“Mhmmmmm,” Kate said. “Ok, love you.”

“You too. Bye,” he said, and hung up.

Aaron texted Chad to tell him that he was outside and what his car looked like. Then he sat and waited nervously. Since the last time he had seen Chad, his feelings had only grown stronger. It was one thing to reply to emails where he could take time to compose a response. It would be quite another thing to carry on a conversation with Chad in person, something he had failed at every time he had attempted it so far. Not to mention they would be alone in his car.

Just then, he spotted Chad walking towards his car. He was exactly as gorgeous as Aaron remembered, even after being on a plane for several hours.

Be normal, he thought. You guys are friends. He doesn’t have to know about the rest of it.

He got out of the car to help Chad with his luggage, then wished he hadn’t because he felt silly. Not knowing what else to do then, he waved. “Hey, Chad!”

Chad caught sight of him, and his face lit up. “Aaron!” He rushed over to the car, setting down his bags and giving Aaron a standard one-arm frat boy hug, which Aaron tried not to make weird.

“Hey,” Aaron said. “Good to see you, man.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. As they got in the car, Aaron was glad that he was driving so it would be easy to resist looking at Chad too much. He didn’t know what he would do once they got to lunch.

“So, there’s a Chick-Fil-A we could go to, I don’t know what you’re in the mood for,” he said.

“Oh, um, actually I’m a vegetarian now,” said Chad. Of course he was.

“All right… Denny’s?”

“Fire,” said Chad. They drove in silence, which was awkward, but Aaron didn’t know what to say.

They had been seated at the restaurant and still hadn’t said anything. Aaron was wracking his brain for any conversation starter, but Chad talked first.

“Denny’s reminds me of college,” he said. “We had one on campus and we used to go there when we got hungry at 2 AM.”

“Same,” said Aaron. “I guess it’s a staple of the American university system.”

“True that,” said Chad, and the ice was broken. They went on talking throughout the meal as if nothing was strange between them. Aaron tried to enjoy it while he could, and also spent a lot of time looking down at his plate so as not to accidentally stare at Chad’s smile or his eyes. He kept repeating to himself that he and Chad were friends, that Chad wasn’t interested in him romantically, and that it didn’t matter either way because Chad had sworn off dating. He didn’t want to delude himself into thinking that his feelings could be reciprocated. Was an unrequited crush that you knew was doomed from the start better than uncertainty?

“Not to make light of your inconvenience, but I’m really glad you had that delay,” Aaron said when they had finished eating and were waiting on the check. “I’m glad we got to hang out.”

“Me too, bro,” said Chad, and he reached out and put his hand over Aaron’s, which was resting on the table. Aaron suppressed a nervous laugh, willing himself not to meet Chad’s eyes. He couldn’t help it-- he felt a little glimmer of hope bubbling up in the back of his brain.

“Chad…” he started to say, but the waiter showed up with their checks and Chad moved his hand away. Aaron would have left his hand under Chad’s for another hour if he could have. Pathetic.

Chad cleared his throat and blinked several times as if nothing had happened. Aaron hastily changed the subject. They left Denny’s and started heading back to the airport, Aaron wishing for something to fall in the middle of the road and stop them from getting there. He wanted to pass the airport and keep driving all the way up into Georgia and beyond. He never wanted to let Chad leave his car. Who knew when the next time they would see each other would be? But alas, they reached the airport with no problems.

They sat in the parked car for a few long moments. “It’s been really nice seeing you, dude,” Chad finally said.

“Yeah,” said Aaron, looking over at Chad and accidentally meeting his eyes. He thought he felt something shift in that moment, like there was some kind of possibility that maybe his bubble of hope hadn’t been completely unfounded. He leaned towards Chad an infinitesimal amount, and he couldn’t be sure, but he thought that Chad did the same. They stayed that way for another long moment before Chad suddenly cleared his throat again and jerked away.

“Uh, I need to go,” he said. “I don’t want to miss my flight.” He started to get out of the car and reach for his luggage in the backseat.

“Right, right of course,” Aaron said. As Chad said goodbye and walked away, Aaron felt all of his brief optimism leaving with him. Well, he would have a lot to tell Kate.

#I have Fully Accepted the violet stuff into my canon for this fic #this took so long to finish lol but I'm very excited about the next chapter #which won't be for another month so don't hold your breath or whatever #tajwash #blairgp #mine

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