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spilledsinnamontea · 7 months

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Why do you think Levi only ever said Dedicate your heart to Hange?

What a surprise! Hello there anon!

Oh, I actually like this question very much >:D I’m sure there are many explanations out there by all the amazing people in the fandom regarding this topic. However, since you asked for my opinion, then I will gladly give my two cents regarding this topic.

Let's see if I can put my psychology degree to good use.

Disclaimer: since I'm a levihan slut, I'm sure you know what to expect from this. Also, English is not my first language, so please forgive me if you found any mistakes :D

First of all, we know that Levi had never said “Dedicate your heart” before (as suggested by Hange).

If that’s the case, then why did he never say that before? Well, I think it’s because he wasn’t your typical by-the-book soldier. Unlike most people in the corps, Levi joined under a special circumstance. We know that he didn’t voluntarily enlist himself as a trainee so he could join the Survey Corps and heroically save humanity from all the titans. Instead, he joined the corps because Erwin personally scouted him. Because of that, he didn't have any particular or specific reason to join it in the first place (unlike let’s say Eren or even Hange), he even planned on quitting the corps at one point. His reason for staying in the corps—other than his belief in Erwin—was just as simple as: “I like the fresh air of the outside world.”

EDIT: Okay, I just want to make myself clear. I'm not saying that his motivation in joining the corps was so shallow or even implying that he does not care a bit for humanity. He cares obviously, if he didn't then we would not have Captain Levi in our SNK story. What I meant by my statement above was to highlight how simple he was as a soldier. Like, he didn't need a grand motivation to join in the first place, because he just knew that staying in the corps was the good thing to do. He risked his life everyday in battles just for a simple wish of breathing the fresh air. He wanted the people in the wall to be free from the stinky air, because for him freedom is in the mundane things in life. To quote my other post: "His simplicity is what makes him kind."

Also, I made a follow-up post regarding my interpretation of Levi's character here. You don't have to read it, but if you want to know how I see Levi as a character, I hope that post can help.

But anyway, since he was scouted under a special condition (as well as having enormous strength as a soldier), I think he somehow had a privilege in the corps to fuck around and be as “disrespectful” as he wanted to be. Not to mention Erwin became a commander around a year after Levi joined, so my man was probably living his best nepotism/VIP life. Therefore, I would think that Levi wasn’t as strict with the rules as other soldiers. He wasn’t the kind of soldier who kept preaching about "dedicate your life" to others. He just came to work, did his job, and went home (just like me fr). I’m not saying he doesn’t care about humanity (he cares obviously) it’s just he doesn’t express it in a traditional soldier way.

No wonder we all were so surprised when he did say THAT WORDS to Hange. It wasn't like him at all. Even Hange was caught off guard by him saying it, right?

But then, this raises another question, why is it when he finally said it, he only said it to Hange? Why, for instance, he didn’t say it to Erwin? I mean, both Erwin and Hange went on a suicide mission. Moreover, out of all the people that we know in the story, we can see that Levi shares many significant moments in the narrative with these two. If that’s the case, then why did he say different things to each of them?

For me, the answer is quite simple, it’s because Levi is an empathetic person. Both “Give up on your dreams and die for us” and “Dedicate your heart” that he said to Erwin and Hange respectively were something that he believed they needed to hear at THAT moment. It was his last words for them right before they died, his last comfort.

He told Erwin to give up on his dreams and die because at that moment, when their troops were cornered by the beast titan, Erwin showed his vulnerable side to Levi. Erwin admitted that he actually had a plan (albeit a suicidal one for him and the rest of the soldiers) to defeat the beast titan but he withheld it at first because: 1) he didn’t want to die because he wanted to see the basement; and 2) he didn’t want to send any more soldiers into their death because he was being haunted by the ghost of the past soldiers who had dedicated their heart to his plan.

Therefore, Levi, out of his compassion for Erwin, took the burden of making that painful choice from Erwin’s hand. He even made a promise to kill the beast titan, as if to say that all of their death wouldn’t be in vain. He said it to make Erwin feel better, which is why Erwin smiled after Levi said that.

I think the same explanation can be said for Hange's situation. However, to understand why he only said “Dedicate your heart” to Hange, I think we need to talk about the nature of their relationship first. First of all, they were close friends, that is obvious. They had known each other for quite a long time and they had gone on many missions together (and survived), so their bond was strong. To quote Moblit from that one Smartpass AU he shares with Levi: “[Levi and Hange have] a special kind of bond from spending many years together. It’s something that Moblit didn't have with [Hange].”

Speaking of Levi, one of the things that I feel people tend to overlook from Levi is his caring nature. He cares for his squads, for humanity as a whole, and especially for his trusted comrades (e.g. Erwin and Hange). However, since he isn’t exactly a very eloquent person, he has a weird way of showing his affection, like when he told Erwin that he would break his legs so he didn't have to join the dangerous operation to retake Shiganshina. Fortunately, since Erwin knew Levi’s character, he understood the meaning behind his words. Although for most people, it was probably hard to tell.

Other than Erwin, the other person who could see Levi’s kindness was of course Hange—who also received a lot of care from Levi. It might be because of the nature of her job (getting too close to titans for her experiments + her role as a commander later) and because of her tendency to be a little bit reckless as well as forgetful of taking care of herself when excited (which was why she had Moblit by her side) that made Levi feel the need to pay a lot of attention to her.

And by a lot, I mean A LOT.

This is just my opinion, but in the canon, I noticed that Levi is actually the one who expresses or initiates a lot of actions toward Hange (believe me, my man is working overtime):

Asking about her new “hobby” in rocks (after Annie’s capture).

Noticing her distress after Pastor Nick’s death and trying to lift her spirit up.

Calming her down when she was upset at Keith Shadis when he finally told the truth about Grisha's past & his reason for leaving his commander position in Survey Corps.

Thinking about Hange’s safety during missions (after Bertholdt’s transformation in Shiganshina and when she was attacked by one of Kenny’s men in the Reiss Chapel).

Telling her to not touch some random things at the beach.

Telling Moblit to take care of Hange because he can't be always by her side (Smartpass AU)

Knocking Hange out to forcibly bathe her (Smartpass AU). Also, the way he worded it in a way that "yeah I don't like her filthiness when I'm off-duty, so I took it upon myself to clean her." I see you...

Levi saving Hange from being hit on the head by a bunch of books + telling her to change her wet clothes (Smartpass AU)

Well you get what I mean. Anyway—at least for me—he doesn’t seem to do this solely because of Hange’s lack of self-care. I think he shows a lot of care for Hange because she’s important to him, which is of course exacerbated when they became the last two veterans to survive after the operation to take back Shiganshina. After so much lost, he clearly saw her as the last person he’s close to. I mean, in one of the Smartpass AU, she was the first person that came to his mind when he was asked about his family.

Not only that, I think he generally likes Hange as a person because she saw him for who he truly was. Like, remember their first meeting, Hange was the only one who was willing to approach Levi (while everyone was sceptical of him) and she did it purely out of admiration. She genuinely was impressed by him and wanted to get to know him better. A gesture that might be alien to Levi, which explains why he was unsure at first about Hange, but it seemed after many missions together, Hange was eventually able to earn his trust. Hange became a person who could freely tease him (him being a clean freak + their poop jokes) as well as became a walking dictionary for him (the way she translates Levi's words to Eren).

On the other hand, contrary to Levi, I noticed that Hange tend to be more neutral with Levi. I’m not saying that Hange did not care for him. I mean, when she found his injured body, she became so protective of him that she willingly risked her life by jumping into the lake so she could save him.

There was also this one scene of her trying to comfort him when he learned that titans was actually a human. Moreover, she also considered him to be her closest friend in the Survey Corps.

I believe she rarely showed her caring side to him because she knew that he is a capable fellow, and so she didn’t think he needed her help in particular. I don't think she had ever think that this man, the strongest man in the world, would ever sustain a horrible injury or even die. Sadly, she thought wrong. When she found his injured and dying body (chapter 115), Hange had to face a horrible realisation that she could actually lose him.

Then, in chapter 126, we finally saw Hange taking care of Levi. She killed two soldiers to protect them. She also tended and healed his injury with so much care. In my opinion, being confronted by the mortality of the only person that she had left in the world, Hange most likely learned—the hard way—about how important Levi had actually become to her. Thus she was willing to do anything for him.

When this realisation mixed with her exhaustion from the war, she finally reached her breaking point. With no one but an unconscious Levi by her side, the passionate-happy-go-lucky researcher and the ever-so-composed commander of the Survey Corps found herself gradually letting down her guard to show her weakness, her feelings. In her vulnerability, she weakly expressed how she would rather live with him in the woods, away from the chaos outside. Like, can you believe this Hange, who always fought for humanity’s sake said, “Humanity be damned, I would rather spend the time I have left with you.”

I think this explains why her confession in chapter 126 caught us (the fandom) off guard, because not only it was out of character for her, but also for the first time, she showed her feelings to Levi.

Later we know that Levi heard about her “confession” but since he also knew that Hange would never ever run away, he instead encouraged her to do the things that she believed in, and that was to stop Eren from committing genocide. However, I think her words had never left him, even after they left the woods. Because as you can see in chapter 132, he somehow made a seemingly random remark to her about how her feelings are not always unrequited. As if he knew which feelings of her that is requited.

Consequently, we finally came to the big question. We see in chapter 132 that before Hange embarked on her suicide mission, Levi did something that was so out of character for him. He touched her heart and said, “Dedicate your heart”.

Why did he do this?

To repeat my answer above, it’s most likely because he knew that it was exactly the things that she needed to hear the most. So he said it out of empathy. But isn’t it too short or even too formal for a goodbye between two close friends? Well, we have to take into consideration that Hange could read Levi like a book (remember their iconic telepathy?). She could easily translate his roundabout words and expressions, thus he didn’t need to write an essay for her. Which is why “dedicate your heart” was more than enough for both of them.

Moreover, I also infer that the reason why he never said “Dedicate your heart” while he was a soldier before was because he probably thought that he didn't necessarily have to give his heart to the corps and humanity. Again, he didn't have a grand reason to fight in the first place, and so he just wanted to do what he thought was good: to lend all his strength to help humanity. Therefore, by saying it for the first time in front of her, he seemingly wanted to show her how important and special she was to him. As if he was saying that he wants to dedicate himself only to her.

Hence, his gesture and words to Hange combined with all the preceding events (especially events in chapters 126 and 132), I could say that behind those three words, he was actually telling her: “Hey, the things you said in the woods, it was not unrequited. I actually feel the same way as you. I want to live with you as well, which is why I don't want you to go. However, I know I can't stop you because you’ve dedicated your heart to the freedom of humanity. So, I’ll let you go, but before you go I want you to know that you’re the only person I’m dedicating my heart to. My heart is yours.”

I'm not Hange so I don't think my translation is accurate HAHA but that's how I see it.

In conclusion, Levi had only ever said Dedicate your heart to Hange because: 1) he knew it would make her feel better/happy and special; and 2) it was also his answer to her soliloquy in the woods (it was his way of telling her that they share mutual feelings).

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So yeah, that’s my opinion. I hope I was able to express myself clearly :D

Also, I can't believe you are asking me this, anon. No one ever asked me about my opinion before. Usually, people come for me for my silly fanfic(s) xD

ANYWAY, your question is very much appreciated! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts regarding Levi, especially his relationship with Hange. This was fun to write (and research!), I really enjoyed the process!

Although it was a bit painful too tbh because I had to reopen my old wound by rereading chapters 126 and 132 :') You did it anon, you made me cry... at 12.30 AM T_T)b

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #asking for a tea #this ask really took me by surprise #I'm not sure why anon asked me this but hey I'm not complaining #I do actually enjoy writing essay but I have never wrote an essay this long for fictional characters xD #I hope my psych teachers in uni are proud of me #anyway I need 3-5 days to heal myself from the pain of chapter 126 and 132 #also sorry anon for the late reply #I've been kinda busy with my work lately so I had to write this in batches

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samwisethewitch · 1 year

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Herbalism in Times of Turmoil

I've recently returned to my roots (pun intended) in folk herbalism to supplement the work I'm doing with my therapist. It wasn't an intentional thing -- in our current round of EMDR, we've uncovered some deeply buried trauma, and bringing that trauma to the surface has shaken the foundations of how I see myself and the world around me. I feel very raw and vulnerable. I feel disoriented and fragile.

I find myself drawn to plant medicine as I navigate this trauma with the help of my therapist. I think a part of me longs for the sympathetic magic of plants -- by taking them into my body, maybe I, too, can become firmly rooted, supported by the earth and nourished by the sun. Maybe I can relearn the magics of stillness and connection. Maybe I can reintegrate into the earth's cycles of death and rebirth.

Some of the plants I'm partnering with in this work are old friends. Others are new allies, recommended by professional herbalists for the type of trauma I'm processing. All of them are supportive in different ways, and all of them have important lessons.

Obviously, I am working with herbs as a compliment to the work I'm doing with a professional mental health counselor, not as a replacement for medical/psychological care. I recommend you do the same, especially if dealing with complex trauma. Even if money is tight, you may be able to get free or low-cost counseling through local social services, nonprofits, university hospitals, etc.

How I Work with Herbs

As an animist, I see working with herbs both as physical medicine and as a working relationship with the spirit of the plant. I don't like to say that I "use" herbs, because that implies that they are just tools. When I say I "work with" an herb, what I mean is that I am partnering with that plant as a living, thinking being that has kindly chosen to support my healing process. I try to honor that relationship in every part of my herbalist craft.

One way I do this is by verbally thanking the plants that I consume as medicine. If I'm drinking a cup of linden tea, I'll say something like, "Thank you, linden, for aiding in my healing today."

I try to use herbal preparations that allow for a sensory experience to help me connect with the plant spirit(s). I don't like taking capsules full of powdered herbs, because that doesn't allow me to see, touch, smell, or taste the plant. I like teas because they allow for a much more intimate connection with the plant's spirit, and I use tinctures when I feel like I need more concentrated medicinal compounds.

I'm a witch who loves plants, but when I'm working with herbs internally, I do not choose them based on their magical or spiritual correspondences. When choosing herbs, I look for quality scientific studies that prove their medicinal benefits, but honestly a lot of plant medicine hasn't been sufficiently studied yet. Because of this, I also look at the way plants are viewed in traditional healing modalities like Western herbalism, Ayurveda, Traditional Chinese Medicine, etc.

While I don't pick them based on their magical properties, I do think studying how these plants are used in magical practices can add an extra layer to my work with them. This helps me to have a more nuanced, deep, and complex relationship with the plant's spirit.

And of course, I always research contraindications and drug interactions before using an herb. For example, I don't recommend Saint John's Wort to anyone taking any kind of pharmaceutical medication because it really messes with the way your body processes your meds. It's also important to research how herbs might interact with other herbs and supplements you're already taking -- that's also a type of drug interaction!

I also try to remember that when we're moving through grief or processing trauma, this changes the way herbs (and drugs, for that matter) affect our bodies. I highly recommend the book The Trauma-Informed Herbalist by Elizabeth Guthrie to learn more about this.

My Herbal Allies

These are the herbs I'm taking focusing my practice on right now:

Ashwagandha and Tulsi are two plant friends that I love pairing together. They're both adaptogens, meaning they can help manage the body's stress response, and come to Western herbalism by way of Ayurveda. I've been working with both of these plants for years, and although they do have different uses, I think they work really well together.

Ashwagandha is really helpful as a pick-me-up for the endocrine system (the system that produces hormones) and nervous system. I find that it has a very grounding effect and is especially helpful for when I feel overwhelmed or burned out. It's a great ally for building resilience when you feel like there's just way too much going on and have no idea how you're going to handle it all. It has a very bitter taste, so I usually add it to coffee or another very bitter beverage.

Tulsi, also called Holy Basil, is a lot more gentle and laid-back than ashwagandha, at least in my experience. It's one of my go-to herbs when I need emotional support. According to herbalists Katja Swift and Ryn Midura, "Tulsi has traditionally been the herb of choice for 'stuck emotions,' whether that's depression or PTSD or just a case of the grumpies." It has a delicious taste somewhere between basil and mint, and I love preparing it as a hot tea. This is one of my favorite herbs right now.

In Ayurveda, ashwagandha is classified as a Rasayana, which means it rejuvenates the body and can promote long life. It is also a Bhalya, meaning it promotes strength, and a Vajikara, which means it promotes healthy sexuality. Tulsi is one of the most valued herbs in Ayurveda and is even called the most sacred plant on earth in the Vedic Puranas. It increases sattva (light, clarity), uplifts the spirit, promotes joy and harmony, and increases prana (vital energy; similar to the concept of chi in China). They're sometimes used together because they're believed to support each other and enhance each other's effects.

I add ashwagandha and tulsi tinctures to my morning coffee and to other hot beverages throughout the day. I also really like tulsi as a tea, and tulsi tea is one of my go-to tools for replenishing my energy after a long day of tarot readings. That being said, I'm considering changing the way I consume these herbs to be more in line with traditional Ayurvedic practices, but I need to do more research first.

Cannabis is, honestly, one of my personal miracle workers, which is a little bit ironic because I also think it's waaaaay overhyped in the wellness industry right now. Cannabis is not a cure-all, and it is not recommended for everyone. There are several different types of cannabis, and each type has its own medicinal uses. For example, the cannabis I use in my personal practice is hemp, which is legally defined as cannabis with little to no THC, meaning it does not produce a high. Marijuana, the type of cannabis with THC, is powerful medicine for some people, but because of how my body and brain work, I personally don't use it. While marijuana use may be illegal depending on where you live, hemp is legal in most places.

I started working with cannabis several years ago to help manage anxiety and insomnia, but nowadays I mostly work with it to help with inflammation and chronic pain.

I find that my body really holds on to trauma in the form of tension, inflammation, and chronic pain. When my trauma response is triggered, I usually feel it as tension or pain, especially in my hips, pelvis, and lower back. I find cannabis really helpful for that stored trauma. It doesn't make the pain go away, but it helps me feel into it and navigate through it. I also find cannabis is really good at relaxing my body and helping me let go of that stored up trauma, almost like unclenching a fist.

Cannabis was historically used throughout the ancient world for divination and religious ritual. It's associated with connection to the spirit world, and may have been used in magical practices like the Norse practice of seidr. Scott Cunningham says hemp is associated with love spells and with Midsummer.

My favorite way to work with cannabis is with a cannibidiol (CBD) isolates. Since I live in a place where THC is illegal and have some health conditions that don't play well with THC, I like CBD isolates because I'm able to make sure I'm getting a THC-free product. I add CBD to my coffee along with tulsi and ashwagandha, and I feel like it helps me process the caffeine better. I also notice rapid relief for joint and nerve pain, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts after drinking this brew.

Meadowsweet is a new plant friend for me. I actually first came across meadowsweet when I was researching handfasting herbs -- it's a traditional inclusion in British handfasting and wedding ceremonies, and was historically used as a "strewing herb," which means it was sprinkled on the ground. It's also a traditional flavor in mead, and in fact the name "meadowsweet" comes from its traditional use in mead-making. (I actually have a batch of meadowsweet mead fermenting right now!)

In herbalism, meadowsweet is prized because it contains salicylates, which can be used to make salicylic acid, the main ingredient in aspirin. This makes it great for pain, especially pain caused by inflammation. It's also great for your digestive system, which makes it a powerful ally if, like me, you suffer from the dreaded "anxiety tummy."

Meadowsweet is a very summer-y plant for me, and its energy reminds me of summer sunshine. It's a plant that reminds me to find joy in the little things in life, and has a very hopeful vibe. This is a plant I associate with both Midsummer and Lughnasa. It's a great friend for when you just need a little sweetness in your life.

On a more physical level, I combine meadowsweet with cannabis, ashwagandha, and tulsi to manage chronic pain rooted in trauma. And, of course, for keeping the anxiety tummy at bay.

In European magic traditions, meadowsweet is associated with love, peace, and joy. Interestingly, Scott Cunningham also talks about the use of meadowsweet for protection from thieves.

I add meadowsweet tincture to my morning coffee along with ashwagandha, tulsi, and CBD. I also really enjoy it as a hot tea, and I think the flavor blends really well with tulsi.

Linden is another new friend for me, but I am obsessed. I don't think I've ever worked with an herb that feels this gentle, supportive, and nourishing to the soul. Katja Swift and Ryn Midura of the Holistic Herbalism Podcast call linden "a hug in a mug," and I think that's a perfect description of how it feels.

In Western herbalism, linden is most often used for heart conditions and to restore the cardiovascular system. However, it also works as a nervine, which means it has a calming effect on the nervous system. It can provide gentle relief for anxiety, tension, and even everyday stress. In Herbal Medicine for Beginners, Swift and Midura even recommend linden to "mitigate the side effects of drying, stimulating medications like Adderall and Ritalin." It is also recommended for nerve pain and damaged nerves.

Linden is wonderful medicine for the heart, both the physical heart and the emotional heart. I really do feel an improvement in my mood when I work with linden. It's soothing and uplifting at the same time.

Magically, linden is strongly associated with protection. It's also associated with love, good luck, and preventing insomnia. Scott Cunningham mentions carrying linden to prevent intoxication.

My favorite way to work with linden is by drinking it as a tea. It tastes similar to chamomile, but a little less fruity. I drink several cups throughout the day, especially when I feel like I need to unwind or calm down.

Rose is one of my favorite flowers. Maybe that makes me basic, but I really do love this plant. The scent of rose has been one of my favorite scents since I was very small -- I remember going to Catholic mass with my mom and praying with my own rose-scented rosary!

We usually think of rose as a decorative flower or an ingredient in perfume, but it also has culinary and medicinal uses. It's used topically to treat skin issues by promoting the growth of new skin cells and to treat rashes and eczema. It can also help soothe gut problems. Rose is also relaxing and anti-inflammatory.

In magic rose is associated with love and romance (duh), divination, healing, fast luck, protection, and connection to the divine. Cunningham recommends it for calming "personal stress and household upheavals" and says the flowers attract fairies. This might be because I was raised Catholic, but rose feels like a very sacred plant to me. In Catholicism it's associated with the Virgin Mary and with some other saints like St. Therese of Lisieux, but I personally use rose more in ancestor work (especially when working with queer ancestors) and for attracting friendly spirits in general.

Right now, my favorite way to work with rose is in aromatherapy. The smell of fresh roses is so uplifting, and it makes me feel like I'm surrounded by gentle, loving protection. I'm sure there are probably health benefits to working with the pure essential oil, but real rose essential oil is VERY expensive, so I use a mild rose-scented perfume instead. (I'm very sensitive to scents and often get headaches from artificial fragrances, but right now I'm wearing Pacifica Beauty's Persian Rose perfume and I haven't had any issues with it.)

Sources:

Herbal Medicine for Beginners by Katja Swift and Ryn Midura

Queering Herbalism, 3rd edition, compiled by Toi of the Herbal Freedom School

The Trauma-Informed Herbalist by Elizabeth Guthrie

Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham

All episodes from the first season of The Trauma Informed Herbalist podcast, but especially the two-part series, "How Trauma Changes Us"

"Herbs for Psychological First Aid" from The Holistic Herbalism Podcast

"Herbs & the Holidays: Emotional Support" from The Holistic Herbalism Podcast

"Working With Herbs For Chronic Pain" from the Holistic Herbalism Podcast

"The Centuries-Old Secrets of Gender-Affirming Herbalism" by Leah Kirts

"How To Incorporate Hemp In Your Materia Medica" by Heather Saba

"Cannabis: Potent and Versatile Medicine" by Sue Sierralupe & Candace Hunter

"An Ayurvedic perspective on Marijuana" by Shilpika Devaiah

"Who shouldn't use medicinal cannabis?" by Corinne Hodgson

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