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#the draft is due next week. i am dying.
jedibongrip · 1 year
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smolvenger · 6 months
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A Court of Mischief and Purpose Chapter Thirteen (Loki x fem! Reader Hiddlesverse Crossover Series)
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Series Summary: Based on Sarah J Mass's A Court of Thorns and Roses series with the Tom Hiddleston characters. You are a woman of 1885 in Aldwinter in Essex, England, dying of tuberculosis. Never to be married to the local Lusty Vicar. When Loki appears to you and offers to heal you...if you spend a week of every month with him.
Chapter Warnings: You and Loki journey to Jotunheim to find the orb. But when events turn for the worse...you decide to ask for help.
Chapter Warnings: Using an oldie but goodie fanfic trope (Court of Mist and Fury does it, so I decided to use it too), some insecurity and mutual pining, and mentions of past cheating with a character who isn't Loki. Fluff and Angst.
A/N: I am not 100 percent certain about the cannon world of Jotunheim, so I threw my hands in the air and cried "fuck it! Give them horses". The next chapters are coming in fast since work was slow and I used the time to write some first drafts. Hence the fast posting.
Series Masterlist
A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad
Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter
Dressed in your warmest coats and sheathed with daggers, you both went through the portal.
Jotunheim was still as bitter cold as ever. If only Loki could just create a portal within Jotunheim to land you right in the cabin! But no- that wasn’t in his abilities, as he kept reminding you whenever you began to complain. You had to travel through the blasted tundra. You trekked through the sharp wind and snow with Loki for a few hours. Thank goodness your fire floated in your hands and the movement gave you warmth. But you had yet to sense out where the cabin was. And now it was getting dark.
You used a certain creature to travel through- horses only known in Jotunheim. Like a regular horse. Only this one was a little bigger than normal. Bright white as the snow and that had crystals of ice on him. The Jotunheim Horses were immune to the cold- it was where they thrived. In fact, it grazed to eat the snow, swishing its blue tail and mane.
When you both got tired of walking, he used some of the money you had brought to rent a special horse of Jotunheim from a village. Like a regular horse that had crystals on them. Horses that were immune to the cold- it was where they thrived. Only barely larger than normal. You eyed the saddle nervously.
“I never even rode a normal horse before,” you said.
“Now, don’t be nervous my dear- here, I will show you how...” Loki guided.
He helped you up onto the saddle, you in front and him behind. You swung your legs to the side like you saw horsewomen in photographs back home do. He guided the reigns and as you both rode, gave you small instructions- keep your heels down. Stay calm. Flick the reigns to make them go faster, tug to make them stop or go slower. He even let you practice riding it for a couple of miles forward, the horse trotting at a calm pace.
“We’ve traveled for hours…but we cannot lose our place…” Loki said.
He checked the book again.
“It should be close…but it means it’s several hours of riding…”
He looked at you shivering.
“And we’ll need to stop…”
There was a city nearby. Some of the Frost Giant people gaped at you, but you ignored their starings. You checked the few inns in town. But it seemed many were full due to Starfall and those traveling to celebrate.
Finally, there was the third and last inn You both went inside, going up to the innkeeper at the wooden desk in the lobby. Her blue skin seemed to shine in the light and her red eyes were bright.
“We have good news, there is one room available for the night…” she announced.
“Oh, wonderful!” you cried.
She looked between you both.
“However, there is a problem…” she began.
There was only one bed. One comfortable, blanketed, bed in that room.
It was far too cold to lie on the floor for hours. You both would have to sleep in it.
Your heart raced a little- something so intimate! Something you would have never agreed to do a year ago…but now, what choice did you have?
Loki had nightclothes conjured for both of you. You fought back the memory of seeing him sleep semi-naked. You both had warm, thick nightgowns that were as white as the Jotunheim snow. You felt your eyes continue to flutter down to see the V of his own nightwear. The little bit of hair that poked out of his chest. But then forced them away.
Once it got dark, you both got into the bed. You and Loki turned around, him staring at the window and you at the wall.
The wind whistled sharply. Outside there were constant flurries of thick snowflakes. The cold air seeped through the room. Contrasting with the warmth of the blankets…and of your bedmate. Turning about, you had not fallen asleep yet. Your mind refusing to shut down despite the long day.
You kept thinking back, despite yourself, remembering the day you first spoke to him. The day he saved you at a price. But there was one little thing he said that still kept bugging you like an itch you weren’t allowed to scratch.
“Loki… are you awake?” you asked.
“Yes,” he answered. “Why aren’t you asleep by now?”
You heard him flip over and you followed suit. His dark curls out of the way of his face. Both of you on your sides, facing each other.
“Because I was thinking of the day you appeared to me when we made the bargain.”
“Oh yes…and what made you recall that?”
“Well, the fact we keep ending in each other’s rooms in one way or the other!”
His own eyebrows briefly shot up, and there was a smile on the verge of a little laugh on his face, yet he remained quiet.
“It happened when I first met you- not counting when you were a cat…but there’s one thing you said I still muse on…it still makes me a little mad!” you blurted.
“Which one? My dear, I’m sure I said several things that enraged you back then…” he prodded
“That you were surprised I could talk back just because I’m a woman from my time.”
The other thought that was floating in your head was the memory of the letter to Cora you found- that one phrase that seemed like being stabbed in the gut. The one phrase that solidifed her superiority over you-“You are truly not like other women!”
Loki said no reply but merely listened.
“We’re people, like anyone else. We have feelings, like anyone else. Did you assume Just because we embroider and wear corsets that it means we’re boring or weak? We don’t enjoy being pushed around! We don’t like being mocked or hurt. And perhaps we aren’t all warriors, but that does not mean we are unworthy of respect! You should have seen my mother. I think she was far more in charge of our family than Papa ever was. Even Stella-Stella-said so to me that she wants Grendel and his army to, and I quote, ‘burn in hell.’”
“Norns above…” Loki muttered in reply.
“I can’t blame her after what they did to her…” you commented.
Loki furrowed his brow. He kept listening as you continued.
“It’s usually those who don’t know us who make such judgments. Who won’t even try to get to know us it…it…it’s comments such as these that make me so mad that I…I…”
The rest of the words failed you, and you paused. How much were you ranting about what he said…and how much were you ranting at the phrase in the letter? Perhaps he could tell. You were quite sure your shield was down. Loki only looked at you- realizing he had permission to speak.
“You were right back then. When I met you, I knew Thomas…but I never got to know a woman from your time. I made judgements and even jokes about it…but I didn’t truly know you then. I’m sorry,” he apologized.
“Thank you. I forgive you, Loki,” you replied.
You turned around. Facing the wooden wall with a chair and table on the other side. The fireplace in the room was a mere, dying ember. The smoke was so thin, it was nearly invisible.
“I hate to disappoint you, Loki, but there is not much to me other than my magic. I’m just like every other woman…” you said.
You tightened the blanket around you, your knees hugging up to your chest. A lump in your throat. But you heard the trickster god shift forward. His voice right near your ear and his warm body against yours. Part of you fell stiff, yet also…comforted.
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” he consoled you.
You turned back over to look at him. You accepted his closeness as you faced each other. His nose mere centimeters from your own. His eyes were as blue as the skies of Asgard. You could smell your dinner on his breath.
“There are far worse things in life to be…but…”
His voice went back to that of teasing, a small smile on his face. He had to be at least a little mischievous while he was still awake.
“You could still improve your taste in wedding gowns…” he poked.
You cocked up an eyebrow.
“That’s rich coming from someone who wears ruffled blouses with his tuxedoes!” you shot back.
You both burst into laughter. You could still hear his rich baritone voice in his laughter. You could feel the rumbling in his body, his chest seemed to vibrate with the mirth.
“What can I say? I enjoy dressing with a little bit more flair...” he sad.
You shot him a smug grin.
“Well, if I can wear a ‘monstrosity of lace’ as you called it, you can wear your foppish tuxedoes!” you teased.
He laughed a little more. Then his voice became gentle.
“Though you did look lovely at the ball the other night,” he said.
“As did you,” you replied.
So close…he was so close. You could have just wrapped him in your arms. Perhaps you should have. His closeness made his warmth radiate toward you. Your own thoughts and memories were spoken, and your concerns were heard like the breaking of a long-held dam. And now that it was released, you began to feel sleepy.
You curled up next to each other, merely brushing each other’s skin. Warm and safe despite the howling wind. You whispered goodnight and turned around to your other side. At once, you drifted to sleep.
When you woke up briefly, it was still dark. Perhaps it was early in the morning. You were facing the wall on your side, but something felt different. Something solid and heavy was draped over your waist. Too heavy to be the blankets.
You looked down and realized with a small jolt of your nerves that it was Loki’s muscular arm.
He wrapped an arm around you while asleep.
Dammit, dammit, dammit, you kept repeating silently.
Should you move him? Wake him up? Oh dear lord, you felt his chest and stomach against your backside. If he was asleep it was likely he wouldn’t be…well, aroused. You would be in the uncomfortable position of feeling something against you that you didn’t want to right now. No- it was a sleepy, chaste embrace from behind.
You heard his small snore. Like that of a cat. It was adorable, you had to admit. So no…you didn’t have the heart to move. You felt in his arms that you were safe…no, more than just safe…wanted. Wanted so badly that his subconscious needed you close.
No, YN that’s an illusion, you mused.
And yet…
This is what my life could be…yet he’s a trickster god and full of mischief and flattery, if I became his beloved, he’ll betray me for another…I’m so…so horrible that even a vicar would break what he preaches for another woman’s bed just to get away from me. If that’s what he did, then, what would a god of mischief do!?…and yet-
It was warm and comfortable. If it was an illusion, One that felt real- one that was only real. If only for a few minutes. The embrace was known to husbands and wives and lovers when they slept with limbs entangled. An embrace you were destined to never know… except for now.
Pretending like it was that domestic, loving comfort…you found your own eyes drooping. Back asleep you fell and deeply.
When you woke up that morning, you saw the window on Loki’s side. You felt no arms and no weight anymore on it. It was empty, save for you. The sun seemed especially bright with the snow reflecting off it. It shot into the window, making you squint.
Shifting over in the bed, you realized Loki was already wide awake. Sitting on a chair near the bed, concentrating on the little vanity with a shiny red apple he placed there. With a flick of his hand, the apple vanished in green smoke. Then it would reappear in the next corner. He gave you a smile in greeting.
“Good morning,” he greeted.
“What are you doing?” you asked.
“Practicing, my dear. It’s one thing to make a portal. It’s another thing to make something just vanish and take it somewhere else,” he answered.
“You’re working on it?” you cried.
“Practicing all morning. The furthest is four things that are not me. They can be sent several miles away…”
You felt the soft blanket, pulling it up to your chest.
He then used magic to have the apple reappear. He then placed it in his hand, shined it on his clothes, and took a bite with a loud crunch.
“It’s actually pretty easy. If I do it enough, I can do it without thinking.”
“Hmmm, It’s impressive…but please save an apple for me.”
He conjured one and threw it over to you. You caught it with both hands and thanked him.
After gathering more food, both of you mounted the horse and continued your long ride to the cabin. Stopping when needed, especially to check the map.
By now it was the late afternoon. But since Jotunheim was a land of eternal winter, the sky was dark. The snow kept falling and the cold wind kept howling at your side. But Loki’s company made it seem not as bad.
You finished the last of your bread and wiped the crumbs off of your mouth when you dismounted. Loki smiled as he showed you the map.
“Here- it’s not far…we’re almost there,” he promised.
You got out a carrot. The horse perked its ears. You offered it and the creature bit into it. It seemed that carrots were the universal favorite food of any kind of horse. You smiled and patted his long nose.
“What do you think of riding, my dear?” he asked.
“It’s a little nerve-wracking being on a living animal…but it can be fun. I’d like to learn more about it- I’m rather new and here we are.”
“When we return, I should let you practice with the horses we have. Perhaps I could show you how to ride with your legs over or even bareback! I’ve had years of training, you can trust me as an adequate teacher,” Loki proposed.
“Oh, Loki tell me- What kind of lessons does a prince have? What kind of classes or education? It must be interesting!” you commented.
He smiled at you. Going up to lift a hand to gently stroke the horse, brushing against the smooth ice crystals on its body.
“Well then, I remember there were etiquette lessons. Which is as fun for a little boy as you can imagine, but I managed to do well. Then we learned about how to use a sword and then we had to learn all of the history of-”
FWOOSH!
An arrow landed near your feet. You jolted with a small cry of surprise. The horse let out a cry with a raise of his front legs. Loki grabbed the reigns to try to calm him.
“Where did that come from?!” you cried.
You turned around and saw the answer.
Behind you were four men on Jotunheim horses of their own. The sadistic smiles on their faces and the dark armor on their clothes made your stomach heavy. They continued to ride, as one reached behind to get another arrow for his bow.
The breath stopped in your chest.
“Grendel’s men,” Loki breathed.
At once he threw you onto the horse and then got up himself. It was everything in you not to panic on the spot.
The horse galloped and held onto it for dear life. Looking back at the laughing, already triumphant soldiers with terrified eyes. Then you gritted your teeth in defiance of them. You let out a shaking hand, and the next arrows that were fired, you burned to ash to vanish in the wind.
But they were still gaining speed. The hooves of their own horses are like that of the drums before an execution. Loki kept urging the horse forward, too focused to create a duplicate or an illusion.
As all of you raced, you gained some distance away from them. Then they then fired another arrow. Faster than your flames could catch it.
Loki let out a yell of pain. You screamed out of instinct- an arrow landed in Loki’s right shoulder. It was black, full of grey smoke out of it like it was burning.
“YN, get it out! Quick!” he urged at you.
You let out a gasp and a small cry on instinct. But he kept riding. You turned around, and swiftly jerked it out, Loki letting out another groan of pain.
He then looked at the arrow in your hand, its swirling magic around it. His jaw dropped.
“No!” he exclaimed.
“What is it?” you asked.
“t’s a Kunnigr arrow! They are known for eventually draining one of magic!” he explained.
“What?! No!”
Loki shot out only a little green light from his hands.
“It’s still there, but it’s running out…”
He then suddenly stopped the horse. He at once pulled you down to your feet.
“Loki- what are you doing?!” you cried.
He looked at you. Sadness and resolve on his face. Your heart beat hard in your chest. He then grabbed your shoulders and looked you in the eye.
“Quick-listen to me- listen to me, YN darling! While I still have a little magic- I’m going to send you far from them. Go. Go find the Cabin. Find the Orb. Here-”
He gave you a pocket watch from his pocket, placing it in your hand.
“When you do, Get a signal to Asgard. Someone will see it- and they will get you.”
“Loki- no! Just transport yourself too! I’m not leaving this realm without you!”
An arrow was shot, and you both narrowly dodged it. But a few inches and- you realized with dread- it would have hit you.
“I am armed, I can fight them- but we’re outnumbered. Their arrows could make you lose your magic. And they won’t stop until they have at least one of us. I only have enough magic to save the horse and the brave woman I made a bargain with. …”
Deep in your gut, you knew he was right. And you hated it. His smile was so beautiful, so sad. You felt as if your heart was both being ripped into pieces and bursting at once.
“This is for you…I’m proud of you, my little mortal.”
“Loki-” you voiced.
He lifted a hand and flicked the wrist.
With the last bit of magic he had left, green smoke appeared around you. The horse whinnied as the smoke surrounded it too And you vanished from the scene.
The Green smoke surrounded your vision. Then at once it drifted away and you were far off into a snowy woods in Jotunheim. It was lined with fur trees full of beautiful snow around them like necklaces. Only some were normal trees where they settled on their branches in blankets. You heard the horse trotting around, brushing its lips and shaking its mane.
You felt light headed You were safe, alive. A far distance off.
Then a few uncontrollable tears began to stream down your face, feeling like they could turn to ice against your skin. You felt like there was a hole in your chest. But your senses were alerting you…the cabin was close. Wiping your nose with your sleeve, you took the reigns of the horse and you both walked forward. It wasn’t too long- only ten minutes of walking, despite the frigid wind paining your face…
And there it was. Sure enough, there was the cabin.
The door was unlocked. Already there was a blazing hearth in fireplace, a warm bed full of thick quilts, and a table full of food that was still fresh. Chopped wood for the hearth sat in a pile next to an iron pot to use for cooking. When you walked over to the hearth, you could tell, right in the fireplace was the orb glowing bright orange. The source of this light and comfort, though you were certain no one lived here.
You got out the pocket watch from your side… you knew you should alert them. You knew you had it. It was what he told you to do…but could not make it to twelve to give the signal.
Loki…Loki…it then hit you, the weight on you. What he did…for the mission. And for you.
He was armed. He could fight them. The training he had all of his life couldn’t have been for nothing. But he was outnumbered. But still…without magic and outnumbered! Perhaps killed already!
You couldn’t stand it. You couldn’t abandon him…and that was if he was still alive.
Despite your shaking, and your crying, your senses reached back. There was a mountain nearby. A familiar mountain…
And someone who would know if Loki still breathed.
You gathered a bundle of firewood and put them in your bag. Then you mounted the horse, both legs swinging off the saddle. Despite your nerves, your determination shot you forward. You were going to learn of Loki’s fate.
If he was dead, then you would go back to Asgard. It would be too risky to get his body. Tell the AllFather and AllMother of his last deed. So at least after his life, he would finally be seen as an equal, as a hero. And if he lived…you would do whatever you could to find him. Get him back.
You led the horse towards where you sensed the mountain and found the entrance. The place where the Jotun Prophet lived.
You rushed inside the cave. You down some of the wood and lit it with your fire. It crackled against the cave in echoes, its light illuminating the dark cave.
“Prophet! Prophet! Here’s my offering! Hurry! Please! It’s an emergency! I must speak with you- now!” you begged. Your voice echoed off into the infinity of black inside.
Sure enough, there were blue lights that glowed on the wall. And out walked the Jotun Prophet. Still with his proud, knowing smile.
“Oh, Mortal Lady, it’s you again…have you gained the wisdom to become engaged to an ugly priest this time? As you must have figured out by now, They don’t get half the attention from other women as the handsome ones do!”
You took a few steps forward. His red eyes remained calm and his smile remained gentle.
“This isn’t about any of that! It’s about Loki! He’s in danger! He could be hurt- or worse! Grendel’s soldiers ambushed us and he used the last of his magic to send me away! Please, Prophet, tell me one thing at least- is Loki still alive? Or are they going to kill him? Is this how he dies?”
The Jotun Prophet scratched his chin.
“Hmm, a god in distress...” he mused. He accepted the firewood. With some magic, it floated up in the air.
“They might have killed him by now- please! I’m begging you! Is Loki alive?”
The Jotun Prophet held up a hand as if to get you to calm down.
“They have abducted him. They’re tormenting him…but he is alive. There is nothing they love more than toying with their victims before they kill. But Loki is too valuable a prisoner for them to end his life just yet. They could use him to bribe the royal family of Asgard, hold him for the price of their domination of the kingdom or an alliance…so at least no killing yet. Even the most foolish of Grendel’s men know that.”
You breathed a sigh of relief, the dizziness washing down you. Your vision blurred from the high and then returned back. The Prophet wasn’t retreating- so you asked another question.
“Tell me where he is! Where have they taken him?” you pleaded.
“They are…southeast from here, a few leagues.”
The Prophet lifted a blue finger and pointed in that direction.
Once you journey down there, you will sense where they are clear as day. They are camped at the ends of another great mountain. You will see smoke- a fire they made there. There you may find Loki. There you may save him. What a lucky coincidence you found that cabin…just take him there after. Let him rest his injuries..”
New tears came down your face, tears of deep gratitude.
“Thank you…”
You began to turn to hurry off. But after a few steps, you heard The Prophet call out.
“Oh! Mortal Lady! One more thing!”
You turned right around, nearly skidding on your feet. He walked up to be closer to you, the firewood floating by his side.
“Brunhilde flowers,” the prophet said.
“Brunhilde flowers?” you repeated, tasting the words in your mouth.
“Named for the strength of the renowned Valkyrie. They grow in Jotunheim. You can find them growing outside the cabin. It will restore strength and even magic to anyone. The petals and bulb are very bitter to the taste but crushed up and steeped in boiled water, it makes a decent tea. To make it work faster, It should take two days and one cup of tea or one flower per day. Along with long hours of rest. If he exerts himself, it will slow the healing down. Then his magic will return in its entirety. So be patient,” the Prophet explained.
He began to turn and walk into the dark. But you took one step closer to where he walked.
“So all I do is find the flowers and give it to Loki?” you questioned.
The Prophet paused. Then he turned around, with a small, if not mischievous smile.
“That is, if you wish to complete your True Love’s healing.”
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torasteals · 4 months
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The End Of Tora Steals Things: A GW2 Fan Comic/Novel
Hey! So with the end of Amulet Of Bolli having gone up on Dec. 23rd, 2023, it's time to talk bout something I've been putting off for awhile now.
You read the title, let's get into it: The End Of Tora Steals Things.
Amulet Of Bolli is the last story I will make for Tora Steals Things. That's it. There's no more. It's ending there as I move forward with Apocalypse Child (which launched on Dec. 21st at apocalypsechildcomic.com!).
So why is it ending?
Those of you who've watched my streams probably already knew this as I've been talking about it ending for awhile now. Hell, many of you may have figured out it was singing its swan song when I first announced Apocalypse Child, or changed the update schedule to once every two weeks, or changed it to a webnovel format... Many of you probably knew it was dying before I was willing to admit it myself.
Truthfully, I have roughly 16 or so stories left for Tora Steals Things, and I really wanted to make them all. TST means a lot to me: it taught me how to make comics and it brought me joy during some of the hardest moments of my life. I'm honestly so touched that so many people read and enjoyed it over the years. You guys made it worth it, you really did.
However, TST has long lived past its due date, and this last story proved that to me. Amulet Of Bolli Part Two took six months to write--six months where I had no time to edit past a first draft, could not build a decent buffer, and had no time to work on writing for Apoclaypse Child. Did it take less time than it would have as a comic? Yes, absolutely, but it still took far more time and energy than what it's currently worth. It exhausted me to my limit to make.
I don't know what else to say, really--I burned out on TST years ago but just kept pushing. I'm sad I couldn't complete it the way I wanted to, sure, but I can't tell you how relieved I am to finally allow myself to stop working on it.
For those last 16-ish stories, they're now available in written summaries as bonus material for the deluxe edition of the third and final e-book for Tora Steals Things. I hope that will satisfy those of you curious over where the story was gonna go, had I kept making it.
On that note, the last e-book collecting the last of the comics and prose for TST is out and available for purchase: Volume 3--Contract Complete which you can pick up here.
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What's next?
As my focus moves onto Apocalypse Child, the Patreon for Tora Steals Things has been made to re-focus on that as well. I'm still keeping all the previous rewards for TST available on that Patreon. In the future, time-willing, I may collect those rewards to sell in digital bundles alongside the e-books so that those of you interested in just the Tora Steals Things sketch pages, scripts, thumbnails, and so forth, can just buy it instead of signing up for the Patreon. I'm also considering doing a live Q&A stream for the ending of TST near the end of the month. Might not do it. Depends on interest, really.
If this is something that interests you, I'll be sure to update this space or my twitter (@GriffinSBNorth) if and when anything happens.
All that said, I wanna just like, thank those of you who read my work all this time. Tora Steals Things was always a bit out there as a fan project and it means the world to me that so many of you loved my hot mess of a plant thief and all his friends.
Really, truly, thank you.
And please, feel free to ask me questions if you have any.
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legacygirlingreen · 6 months
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December 1896 // Farmer Sebastian Sallow x Reader (part 12)
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Full series master list here
Warnings: finally some action (not smut but smooching), angst once again, sick Anne returns
audio for the chapter found here
word count: 9,000
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I searched aurora borealis green
Sebastian, 
I recognize that this letter has been a long time coming, and I have certainly found myself drafting it several times unsuccessfully. With Ominis’s reassurance, I would like to let you know that I am ready to repair what relationship we might be able to have in the time I have left. A part of me feels selfish, to reappear in your life, knowing I hardly have days remaining, but I could not allow you to go through the rest of your life knowing that I have not spent every single day since I left, thinking of you. 
If you will allow it, I wish to live out my remaining time peacefully in Feldcroft. I know you have a career, and hardly have time for one dying sister with whom you haven’t spoken in years, but if there was a way, I’d like to try. 
I shall await you in our old home, 
Anne 
Sebastian had never rushed home faster after receiving the correspondence he’d dreamed of for years. He informed his boss he was taking a sabbatical due to a family matter before packing up the flat in Paris and the one in London, then heading home. That had been a few weeks ago and his sister had moved into the house so that he might spend as much time with her as possible. Often Ominis would also spend the night with them when his work permitted. 
Their first night together all they did was weep, apologize and hold one another. He had missed her dearly, and to be reunited once more was profound. As much as Sebastian cared for his career, his love for his twin triumphed over nearly anything else in the world. 
The first thing he did after reuniting with Anne was to send a letter to the girl, informing her that Anne had come home and that she would like to see her during the Yule time. The letter brought tears to her eyes and she snuck out of her dorm room immediately in order to use the enchanted mirror to speak with Sebastian until the sun rose, simply because she could not be happier for him. He had laughed, cried and shown every variety of emotion for her, unashamedly. 
Now all he looked forward to was having every person he cared for in the same place for the yule time. When she finally arrived back in Feldcroft, it had been much later than he anticipated. Usually she rushed home, but she seemingly took an extra day before arriving. Sebastian hardly had time to ponder why as the second she came bounding into the hamlet he was already rushing towards her at top speed, lifting her around the waist with his large hands and spinning her through the air as she laughed. 
“Sebastian put me down!” she shrieked, worried he would ruin her perfectly styled hair, and he refused for a moment longer just to tease her. Since the moment they had shared on her birthday in September, their conversations via mirror had seemed more weighted, every letter filled with more longing, and the time daydreaming of one another more frequent.  She would hardly admit it out loud, but she was totally and completely in love with the farmer next door. Something in her soul whispered that he loved her as well… 
“Can you hardly blame me? You kept me waiting so long… Did you run into a delay leaving France?” he asked her curiously and she looked around to make sure no one was watching.
Leaning up she pressed a small kiss to the side of his cheek before responding, “I shall tell you when I know more, but I actually interviewed for a job after graduation. I think it will be a good fit, should it pan out, but I am waiting until I have confirmation before allowing myself to get too excited”.  
“That’s…” Sebastian trailed off, realizing that soon enough she would have a career and he hoped by some chance it would bring her close to him, but he respected her decision to remain tight lipped. After all, he asked her to make decisions with her own future in mind, not theirs. “That’s wonderful! I look forward to hearing more about it”, he replied, picking up her suitcase to help lug it over to her home. 
“You won’t believe what happened during the ballet recital, Sebastian. So our male lead ended up hurting himself in defense against the dark arts class a week before the performance, and we replaced him. Despite that, his replacement ended up being so much better, as he was able to actually lift me more easily. But, headmaster Black attended, as his nephew attends Beauxbatons and was my replacement dance partner. The man is absolutely foul, but he remembered me for the project with Professor Sharp and Ms. Morris all those years ago.” she explained with a smile and he couldn’t help but be proud that his very uptight former headmaster actually remembered the young woman. 
“That’s very interesting indeed. Is there any more-” he started to ask as the door to her home opened wide and an army of her siblings and her mother rushed outside to greet her. All of her siblings of age were attending Hogwarts, while the youngest was still at home, so they all missed her dearly during the year. 
Sebastian stepped back, allowing them to be reunited when her mother swept him up as well, kissing his cheek and thanking him for bringing her bag. Handing him a potion for Anne to help with the nausea before she then left to keep cooking. 
“When you have a moment, Anne would like to see you. She misses you, and has some things she wishes to tell you” Sebastian told her as she finally came up for air after hugging all her younger siblings. 
“I would love to see Anne, just let me get settled and I shall walk over -” she started and he interrupted.
“Actually, I can help you unpack if you’d like, and I can walk you over as well.” Strange. Sebastian had never been so keen to be with her every second humanly possible but she shrugged, letting him know it was fine if that’s what he wished for. His tone almost sounded desperate, like a child wishing to be included. It was endearing to the point she couldn’t deny him. 
Climbing the stairs together to the loft, they remained quiet. They had made this journey often when they were children, as it was not uncommon for him to spend time with her after Anne was cursed or Solomon passed away. Sometime felt much more heavy in the air as they both rounded the set of stairs together, clothes shuffling being the only sound to be heard. 
Eventually making it to the top floor of the home, Sebastian set down her stuff near the door, standing off to the side so that she could unpack as she pleased. Waving her wand, she returned her clothes to the dresser without much glance. Grabbing her books, journal, mirror and stack of letters from her other bag, she placed them on her desk. Lastly she collected the small bag of toiletries from her suitcase by hand, walking them over to the small vanity and sitting down. 
Just as she had worried, Sebastian had in fact ruined her hair when he’d lifted her. Sighing she started to remove the braid, nearly forgetting he was in the room entirely until he moved closer. Standing just behind her, she could see his belt in the reflection as she finished removing her braids so that her long hair hung loose. Grabbing the brush she started to remove the small knots. Before she could start to redo the updo Sebastian laid a hand on her shoulder, prompting her to look up at him. 
“It looks very pretty down if you don’t mind me saying…” he told her, as she grew wide eyed and flushed. 
“But it’s hardly proper to leave my hair down.  People might talk-” she replied nervously.
“Then let them. There aren’t many in the hamlet to begin with, most of whom do not care about such proprietary… I understand if you don’t want to -” he said, realizing that demanding she leave her hair down on his accord was somewhat rude. 
“No, it's fine. You’re right. I can leave it down” she said awkwardly with a smile, setting the brush down again, giving him the privilege of seeing her hair down. 
Pulling out a small bottle of perfume, she put it against the insides of her wrist, lifting it to a spot behind her ears while he watched. 
“Is that new?” he asked her, not recalling a time she ever wore perfume. Not that she ever smelt bad by any means of the word, but seeing her applying oil to her skin peaked his interest. It seemed so adult, granted he knew she was one at this rate, and had been in the eyes of their world since the previous year. 
“It is. My roommate gifted it to me for my birthday. I quite like it” she said, standing from the vanity, moving towards the door when he intercepted her, gently placing his hand against her elbow to stop her from rushing back out. He imagined that she was feeling nervous having him in her living space, alone and unchaperoned, but that had never stopped them before, and he’d be damned if it mattered now. 
Sebastian brushed some hair off her shoulder, leaning his face into where she’d put the fragrance. Letting the tip of his nose gently touch the shell of her ear, he inhaled. She shivered as he did so.  Sebastian was unprepared for the nirvana his senses experienced immediately. It smelled so utterly divine. Very feminine, floral and with a touch of the morning dew. Like a rainstorm in a lilac field. Unable to stop himself, he allowed himself another whiff as he almost became intoxicated off the scent alone.  
He had often found the fragrances the women in Paris wore to be overwhelming.  While they often smelled good, something artificial about the overly floral or sweet perfumes became off putting to him.  It was as if most women he met made it their mission to smell constantly of the inside of a bakery or as if they’d rolled around in a florist shop all afternoon.  It usually left him with a headache if he was honest. But this smell was so light, almost subtle on her skin, as if it was coming directly from her and not the beautiful ornate bottle he’d seen. The flowers smelt natural, not feigned, and the delightful addition of whatever clean undertone it had was an unexpected surprise.  The perfume complimented her nature in a way he hadn’t expected.  It was as if that fragrance was destined to be worn on her skin and in her hair. 
“Are you going to keep standing here sniffing me like a crup in heat, or are we going to see your sister?” she asked with a laugh and immediately his face flamed realizing he had in fact been so drunk off the perfume he’d remained wafting her. 
“Sorry, I’m not sure what came over me” That was a lie. He was very aware of what came over him. 
“It’s alright. I suppose that means you like it.” she said as she reached for her shawl, knowing it was bound to get even colder into the evening. Sebastian stopped her, removing his jacket and placing it on her shoulders.
“Very much.” he said without much explanation before heading down the stairs with her in tow. 
Anne had absolutely withered from the last time she’d seen the girl. The girl was barely clinging to life as it seemed, and it took every ounce of her to not outwardly grimace as her childhood friend lay there, almost permanently immobile in the bed, with the covers pulled around her. The girl’s hair was very thin, in some spots showing through almost to her scalp, and her skin looked dull and lifeless. She wasn’t sure if she would start crying after seeing the poor shape Anne had been living in for Merlin knows how long. 
Sebastian had informed her that his twin was far cry from the way she remembered, but this was the type of sickness one couldn’t articulate. She had to hand it to Sebastian, maturity had done him well, as he would’ve become absolutely insistent on a cure if he’d seen her like this when he was younger, but now he seemed to be respectful of the woman’s wish to die with as much dignity as possible. Time and grief had squashed his selfish desire to cure his sister so he wouldn’t be left alone. Sitting next to Anne, she didn’t see how this life provided much dignity, but she was happy to see her regardless. It still made her so sad for Anne, and Sebastian. 
“Oh y/n… you look even more breathtaking than Sebastian said…” the woman said so etherally it was as if she was in a dreamlike trance as she spoke. Coming closer to the edge of the bed, she lifted one of Anne’s hands and gently leaned down to press a kiss to each hollowed cheek. 
“Sebastian is going around claiming me to be breathtaking?” she asked with a laugh, knowing that likely Anne had not grown out of her enjoyment at teasing her twin. The shakey laugh she received let her know that her inclination was correct. 
“He hardly stops talking about how beautiful you’ve grown.”  Anne said and although she mostly meant it to tease her brother, she knew deep down that he’d grown so smitten with the neighbor over the years. 
“Well that’s good to know… don’t tell me you had to see that wretched mustache he was sporting a few months ago. I am very glad to see the abysmal thing is gone” y/n replied with a chuckle, recalling how he’d appeared a few months ago at her school versus now. 
“Unfortunately, yes. Thank Merlin he shaved it off. Can you imagine my surprise leaving my brother baby faced and returning to see him with the sad excuse for facial hair he wore” Anne replied. 
“I am right here” Sebastian said, reminding them as he let out an overly dramatic sigh. 
“We know.” Anne told him, drawing the girl closer to whisper to her, “he’s absolutely taken with you, you know?” 
“Is that so?” She asks, knowing full well that Sebastian made his affections known while repressing his intentions to act on them. 
“Terribly so. I think it’s wonderful. Especially with the way you used to be so sweet on him… you’re not..?” Anne was unsure how to ask if she was courting anyone.
“There is no one if that is what you’re asking” she told the sick girl, knowing that Sebastian was likely listening. 
“That’s good to hear. Do you think that perhaps -“ 
“Anne, stop pestering her about our relationship” he said with a sigh, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. 
“But it’s so much fun,” Anne replied with a chuckle.
“I know it is, but maybe lay off it a tad for now…” he deflected gently, hoping to shift the conversation off a topic that made him uncomfortable. The more normalized Anne made it seem, the more likely he was to go back on his word and just extend offers before either of them was ready. Sebastian had to remind himself she deserved a career out of school, not to be stuck as a housewife with their children before she had the chance to live… 
“So how are you Anne, all things considered?” She asked the woman.
“As comfortable as I can be I suppose” she said with a sad smile. 
“Your mum has been an absolute saint, you know that?” Sebastian told her, and she smiled. 
“That’s mum, always helping where she can,'' knowing full well her mothers work as a healer and apothecary was helpful to the surrounding hamlets. 
“We greatly appreciate it, trust me” he assured her.
“So tell me all about school, how has Beauxbatons been?” Anne asked and she spent some time catching the woman up to speed on the last few years. 
It wasn’t long before she had a bout of pain, Sebastian working her through it until she relaxed again. Although it had been years since she’d experienced witnessing them, she fell back into the normalcy of them, having taken care of Anne for so long. Once Anne laid back down again, she drifted off almost immediately to sleep and y/n stood, crossing the threshold to the potions station behind Sebastian. 
She didn’t speak as he moved to tidy it, knowing that based on the expression he wore, he was likely deep in his own head by now. All she did was wrap her arms around his middle, laying her hands across his abdomen and resting her cheek along the area between his shoulder blades. He sighed as she did so, closing his eyes as he allowed her to give him the silent support. After all this time she seemed to read him so well. 
Sebastian brought his hand to collect her own, interlocking their fingers as he felt her warm breath on his back. Eventually he slipped his fingers from hers, turning around as he rested his back along the potions table and gazing down at her.
“Thank you for being here” 
“Of course. Nowhere else I’d rather be” she promised.
“It means the world, but you likely already know that…” 
“I do. No need to explain yourself” 
“It’s been odd to be back and you’re not here. I forgot what life was like in the hamlet before you arrived”, he admitted. 
“Life before I moved to the hamlet…” she said, pretending to ponder for a moment before snarkily replying “must have been absolutely dreadful”. 
“It is. I hadn’t realized why this place felt like home, until the person who made it such was no longer here” he said confidently, tucking her stray curl behind her ear and his gaze bore so boldly into her own. 
“Sebastian… but you said-” 
“I know what I said” he replied with an annoyed sigh, closing his eyes as he held his hand along her neck, collecting himself before he continued. “Please just let me have a moment. I just want a brief moment to allow myself the pleasure of denying reality. Afterwards we can go back to pretending we don’t care for each other, all for the sake of safeguarding your future. But just let me have this moment to feel the very depth of the love I hold for you, please Mon Chou… .” He begged and all she did was nod, leaning in and pressing her forehead to his like she had done on her birthday. The day she had hoped he would just kiss her, only to be denied. The day he admitted to holding deep feelings for her but considering the age difference to be unfair to her. 
She didn’t speak. Breathing him in as her eyes fluttered shut and they simply held one another. She felt the fire that had been lit in her soul the day she met him burning so intensely within her if he hadn’t been holding her upright she likely would’ve bucked at the knees. Having him this close reminded her that he was a young man, and her a young woman, and the feelings they shared were normal. She realized every moment with him from that very first day she had fallen in love so slowly, so beautifully until it came to a head. 
“I love you.” He whispered barely audibly as her eyes snapped open. He hadn’t openly admitted the feelings in this regard to her, not even a few months back. She had, and while he alluded to similar sentiments, he had refrained from actually saying the words. To hear him confirm caused a small sound similar to a squeak to come out of her parted lips as she stared at him. 
Sebastian didn’t allow the girl an opportunity to respond. Lips barely pressing against one another the same way butterfly wings would dance upon the skin, Sebastian brushed his lips over hers before pulling away quickly. It wasn’t a real kiss but it still left her feeling as if she was walking on hot coals. 
“The job I applied for is at Hogwarts. Mrs. Sharp put in a good word with the headmaster and he himself believes that it will be a good fit. I have no reason to believe I will not receive a proper offer soon... Regardless, I intend to come back to Scotland. I miss home. I miss my family. I miss you.” She admitted as he looked into her eyes with an unreadable expression. 
“That’s wonderful you’ll make a fantastic professor.” He told her with a smile. 
“Librarian actually. Madam Scribner is retiring finally. Rebecca was so kind to let the headmaster know how knowledgeable I am with various subjects and how much I read. He agrees having some youth in that department might prove beneficial, especially with catching youngsters sneaking into places they shouldn’t.” She teased as she leaned back slightly, arms going to wrap around his waist, fingers fiddling with his waist coat’s buckle. 
“I only got caught on the very rarest of occasions” he said with a smile. 
“You are such an unashamed liar Sebastian Sallow!” she said with a fake gasp as he chuckled. 
“That makes me truly happy to hear. I am sure your siblings will be thrilled to see more of you during the year” he told her, knowing that if she was at Hogwarts she wouldn’t be far away. 
“I am glad we are both getting more time with our siblings” she said, the comment lingering as he looked past her shoulder to see Anne sleeping. 
“You are partly the reason she came back, you know?” he said flatly and she raised an eyebrow, curious what he could mean by that.
“Ominis spoke to her after Professor Sharp and Ms. Morris’s wedding about how highly you spoke of the progress I’ve made in stepping back from the dark arts. How dedicated I seemed to staying well intended, and how I had respected her wishes to leave her alone. I believe for the longest time, despite Ominis remaining my friend, he thought like Anne in the fact that I still searched for a cure in private. It wasn’t until you spoke with him, that he spoke with Anne. Since then she’s been warming up to the idea of coming home. But without Ominis having your assurance to bring to my beloved sister, she never would’ve come home… she’s only here as a result of your actions.” he explained as he shifted his gaze back to the girl in front of him, her eyes glazed over with tears as she recalled the conversations she had exchanged with the blind boy during the wedding, in which they both admitted to deeply loving the Sallow twins..
“I am really glad she came home… even if it’s not for long. You deserve to feel the warmth of your sister’s love again.” she explained as if it was the most logical explanation in the world. 
“I am not a good man. She left… She left because I killed uncle Solomon. The fact I am not rotting away in Azkaban like I deserve... I am a criminal, a murder. No better than the man who killed your father-” he tried to explain to her and she refused to listen. 
“You are a good man, Sebastian Sallow. A bad man doesn’t use his career to better the lives of those around him. A bad man doesn’t drop his entire life to care for a dying sister. A bad man doesn’t deny his feelings for the sake of respecting a young woman with whom he loves by letting her go, all for the sake of allowing her a fair chance to live her life… I have known tragedy at the hands of cruel men, including your Uncle. Do you believe that I, of all people, would love a wretched man?” she retorted with the rhetorical question and he looked to her.
“I believe that you may be blinded by the affections you shared for me when I was younger-” he started and she raised her voice to him, something in the many years she’d known him she had never done. 
“I am fully aware that you are not some innocent boy anymore. You made that quite clear when you whisked me away from school looking more handsome than I have ever seen you, despite that ridiculous mustache, and brought me to my home village. The gaze you thrust upon me that night contradicted the words you spoke.  I have read every letter you have sent, vaguely detailing the romances you have found in other women. I have continued to whisper into a mirror well after curfew in order to spend time speaking with you no matter how much it destroys me knowing you will continue to chase after women more affluent, more beautiful and more close to you in age than I. Sure, I know full well that I loved that younger version of you who spoke so kindly to me. The one who put up with my presence when he didn’t have to, and who encouraged me when I needed it the most. But do not dare accuse me of mistaking you for a farm boy I met when I was just a child. I am competent enough to recognize that if I myself am a woman, one who seems to so often catch you staring in ways you should not. I am perfectly capable of recognizing that you are a man now, Sebastian.” 
He was stunned. He hardly knew what to say. She was right. He had been rude to accuse her of being idealistic in her affections and he knew well enough to know she had grown with him not because of him. He had not considered that with time her feelings had evolved as they both had, an oversight that now seemed redundant considering he acknowledged previously how his own emotions surrounding her had shifted. 
“So where do we go from here?” he asked her. For the first time in a long time, possibly ever, he was unsure how to proceed or where to look for an answer. 
“You focus on your time with Anne. I focus on my remaining time at school and establishing a career. All I ask…” she trailed off, questioning internally how to word her request as he peaked a glance at her before she continued. “All I ask is that you stop viewing me as some helpless, incapable child who needs protecting. I am an adult, and have been for a while despite still being schooled. It’s time you start acknowledging me as such, especially if you keep gawking at me the way you have been,” she said with a sigh. 
“You’re right. I apologize for my untoward actions-” 
“Don’t” she said raising a hand to silence him. Her eyes spoke to him, letting him know that it was wrong to apologize for something she desperately wanted and he refused to give her, despite the both of them wanting it. “Your actions are the furthest from the most vulgar experiences I have been privy to encounter, although that discussion is not your business in the slightest, nor is it appropriate to discuss given your stated boundaries” 
“Wait, you…” he trailed off as his mind connected the dots in realizing she was far from innocent. 
“Yes. We shall leave it at that.” she continued bluntly.
“Of course” he said with a sigh, realizing that he had essentially shot himself in the foot in gaining new information regarding her fragility, but based on the connotations she spoke, he assumed what she refused to say was contradictory to his concerns. 
“I should be heading back for supper soon. I shall run something by you and Anne, alright?” she offered and he nodded. 
“Thank you, I would greatly appreciate it” he told her with sincerity as he walked her towards the door. She went to grab her jacket realizing that she had walked over with his and not her own, and that would mean she would have to walk back without one. Sensing her plight he grabbed his coat anyway. 
“Take it. I can’t have the beautiful woman next door freezing to death on my lawn” he said, the conversational olive branch in the replacement of the word ‘girl’ with ‘woman’. She accepted it graciously, allowing him to slide it along her arms. Before she could turn around he kissed the side of her cheek and she grew warm at the contact. 
“See you later?” she asked, finally growing timid once more. 
“I shall count the minutes Mon Amour…” he whispered as she looked back at him over her shoulder before she forced her gaze ahead and walked out of the Sallow house with her cheeks stained red. 
—————————————————
Since that night when Sebastian had admitted his feelings and promised to start regarding her as an adult, they had tread awkwardly around one another. One might think that after years of knowing each other, feeling comfortable in their connection and often being in shared spaces, that they would resume business as usual. To assume so would be an oversight. 
She found herself in a constant state of not knowing how to act around him. Sometimes he would be flirty, invading her space and spouting off verbal comments that made her blush madly. It often felt as if they were already a couple based on the way he held her hand longer than he should under tables or they sat side by side with her head on his shoulder. Touches and gazes lingered. Comments toeing on untoward. It would seem as if the tension would snap at any moment sometimes.
Sebastian found himself caught between conflicting worlds in his mind. On the one hand, he truly loved her and enjoyed her company. Every moment laughing together, conversing over books or memories warmed his heart. On the other hand he was finally starting to allow himself to imagine a less than wholesome side of her. Gone was his sweet, innocent mon Chou next door, and replaced was a beautiful temptress who’s hips swayed when she moved. He spent most of his time attempting to maintain propriety while also wanting to drag her out to the privacy of their willow and finally give into his desire of exploring just how much her body had changed. The overwhelming need to feel himself tightly knit within her opening while she shouted his name, kept him in the bath longer than normal as he became well acquainted with his right hand…
As frustrated as he was, he knew that they’d need to wait a bit longer, until her job was definite. That didn’t stop him from continually slipping in random jests attempting to learn more about her previous experiences. To her credit she had remained tight lipped and he knew at this rate it was more to tease him than due to any sort of prudence. 
The day before Christmas Anne fell extremely ill, resulting in a visit from her mother that went on for hours and she owled a potioneer to get additional supplies given the low quantity due to Anne’s frequent need. It was around sunset when the familiar redhead arrived, crates in tow to the y/l/n household. 
“Garreth?” She was surprised to see the man who had been a large part of her Hogwarts research project many years ago. 
“Oh wow… you really grew up gorgeous didn’t you?” Weasley said blushing madly as she stepped forward offering a light kiss to each cheek. It was a normal greeting for her to give, as she was French, but the sight made Sebastian’s blood boil over as he watched the pair from his sister’s bedside. 
“You are too kind Garreth, it’s been far too long” she said kindly, having somewhat lost contact with him a few years after she traveled to hogwarts. They briefly stayed connected but their friendship fizzled out with time. Regardless he had grown closer to her family, often supplying her mother as he traveled through about once a week delivering supplies. Her younger siblings seemed to adore him as the youngest came barreling in, hanging off the Ginger’s very strong arm as he laughed with her younger sister. Coming from a large family and being used to his siblings, Garreth adored children, her siblings being no exception. 
“I heard my aunt say you’re going to be starting in the fall as old Scribner's replacement. I suppose I will be seeing more of you..” he said mischievously and she quirked an eyebrow to ask why. 
“Both of the Sharps are taking a leave of absence since they have a baby due in July, so I’m taking over potions” he explained with a bright smile. 
“Oh that sounds wonderful! It will be so nice to have a familiar face around school!” She said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it before letting go to help move the supplies over to her mothers workstation. 
“Perhaps I could take you out for a drink sometime… catch up before the year…” he offered with a grin. 
“Please do, I am terrified my daughter here will become a spinster the way she consistently turns down the gentlemen at her school. Besides I would love grandchildren before I’m old and gray… can you imagine how precious they would be with all those freckles…” her mom teased out from the corner as Sebastian withheld the contents of his lunch. 
Absolutely not. There’s no circumstances in which he would allow Weasley of all people to swoop in on his woman. Besides if her mom wanted grandchildren with freckles he would happily provide them… 
“I uh-“ she said trying to form a polite rejection to his offer when Sebastian interrupted by standing and moving towards them. 
“Weasley, long time no see. Why don’t I help you, as there’s no need for any of these lovely ladies to be lifting a finger around here, yet you have the fairest woman in the room carrying nearly as much as you” Sebastian spoke, and while many could mistake his comment for humorous, she knew that the moment the two men got alone things had the potential to be ugly.
“Uh… sure Sallow… there’s just a bit more by the cart out there…” Garreth explained as they moved to head outside and she went to follow. Sebastian intercepted her, hands coming to rest on her forearms as he lightly held her from a respectable distance given their audience. 
“Why don’t you wait here mon chéri…no need for you to lift even one of these beautiful fingers. we’ve got this handled, right Garreth?” He asked without breaking his gaze from her, lifting her hand gently. She shuddered as he stared directly at her. 
“We do” Garreth squeaked out, clearly embarrassed and Sebastian paid him no mind as he very boldly leaned down, grabbing her by the waist and brushing his lips over her cheek before proudly stepping away leaving them all in shock. Lifting a hand she touched her face, still feeling the linger of his kiss there as the skin tingled. At first she didn’t react, stunned he would so unashamedly do such a thing in front of her family when he hadn’t even asked her to court properly. Of course Sebastian sallow would behave like a territorial brute. 
A small part of her felt very warm watching him leave, the ghost of his lips finally wearing off. To be manhandled that way, as he claimed her in front of another man … It was exhilarating. That was until her mother spoke. 
“Did Sallow just… well I can certainly say I never saw that coming” her mother spouted off with a laugh. 
“Why’s that?” She asked timidly. 
“I just have seen some of the women he previously… entertained… Let's just say Sebastian is a bit of a Tom cat… and the women he’s around are much more … I am just surprised since you’ve always been sweet on him and he paid you no mind. Not that I fully blame him…” her mother trailed off, alluding to the fact Sebastian had previously been with women more beautiful than herself. That shouldn’t be a shock, but to hear her mother assume that Sebastian wasn’t likely to be interested in her ever, stung. Even when he displayed his affection openly her mother still assumed she wasn’t good enough for the neighboring farm boy. 
Having heard enough of the conversation she fled upstairs to her loft, not wanting to be around them anymore. Realizing Sebastian did in fact have more experience with women even her mother thought were prettier, nearly brought tears to her eyes. The thought of facing down Garreth, a man who had always been nothing but respectful, after she was sure Sebastian had laid into the man in private… she didn’t want to think like that. 
Curling up on her bed she sighed, looking around the room. She saw the ceiling still enchanted from that night Sebastian had slept there following Anne’s curse. She saw the stack of letters on the desk and the flower he’d given her years ago. Sitting down she reached for the piece of parchment and quill. Before setting them back down. 
Her mother was likely right. 
Opening her window she looked over at the tree next to it, deciding that making a run for it was better than waiting around for her mother to scold her or Sebastian to come corner her when she felt vulnerable. Quietly slipping down the tree she cast a charm to sneak out of the hamlet and off in the direction of the beach. Going to the willow felt too exhaustive right now and she knew that likely Sebastian would look for her there first. As she made her to the quiet shores she took a seat on some rocks.  
Entranced in a crystal veil as the fallen angels from heaven descended upon her to their permanent damnation within her fiery depths. 
She wasn’t sure how long she sat there watching the snowfall as tears streamed down her face. She also wasn’t sure at what point Sebastian sat next to her on the stone, his arms pulling her into his frame as she violently shook. 
“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have done something so openly affectionate in front of others like that. It was rude of me.” He told her, the guilt evident in his voice. 
She didn’t respond, unsure how to explain to him her feelings of inadequacy. He wouldn’t understand that she was not good enough for him, and that he had already done better than her, and likely would again in the future. This temporary phase he was experiencing likely was due to proximity and needing emotional support with Anne’s health. Perhaps she should consider the company of Garreth. The man was kind, light hearted, and had her mothers approval. They would both be in close quarters in the fall with work. They could truly be a decent match. He also was quite handsome with his freckled skin and long auburn hair. Albeit, not as handsome as Seb- No. 
When she still hadn’t responded, only lessening her tears for a moment Sebastian grew concerned he really had upset her with his actions. Removing her from his arms, he sought after her eyes for confirmation on the storm brewing within her mind. 
Lifting a hand to push the hair that had obstructed his view, he held her face in his large hands, forcing her to look at him. The wildness in her expression caught him off guard. “Talk to me Mon Ange… how can I make this right?” he asked her as she shook her head, trying to remove herself from his grasp as he continued to hold her. 
At his begging her eyes once again flooded with tears. The strength and domineering energy in his grasp juxtaposed with the softness in his voice brought her to a place that she didn’t quite understand. 
“What did I do to bring you to tears-” he started and something within her just snapped. 
“This is about what you refuse to do. You keep giving me false hope and then don’t act on your feelings, despite your candor a few nights ago. I sit there, every day, hoping it will have been long enough to meet your approval. You claim to know what is best for me, and that I need to wait. However it pains me to share proximity with the one I love, the one who loves me, and we both must repress those feelings. At what point do I get a say in all of this? And then, when you do act upon your feelings it is only as a result of another man showing interest in me. Your actions are territorial at best, brutish at worst. Not to mention, my mother’s so eloquent way of pointing out that I am much less than every woman you’ve entertained or brought back here in my absence. It makes me feel as if you are ashamed of me somehow, and that once you no longer need to be here to take care of Anne, you’ll be back to being Mr. Star Ambassador in France. It all feels so, so, suffocating, especially when you know how truly deep my affects are for you Sebastian. Loving you removes every trace of air from my lungs to the point it hurts.” She admits in a blubbering mess of tears and slight yelling as the sea roars beside them and the snow continues to fall, her outburst leaving him speechless. 
After a moment of not speaking she began to fully sob once more and he continued to hold her face in his hands, his own body shaking as he felt her tremors coursing within him as well. 
“Why am I not good enough for you? Why am I not enough for you to act upon the ways you claim to feel? And why does it hurt so much to know that there’s a chance I shall never be enough for you?” she asked him and the words tore through him more harshly than if she had slapped him.  Her feelings of inadequacy, when in fact it was his own that continued to plague their relationship nearly angered him. To hear that the girl woman felt less than, when he was the one who didn’t deserve her care…
“Stop.” He warned her, a slight threat buried in his exasperated tone. 
“Stop? Stop mentioning things for how they are? Stop bringing up that you only see me as a commodity, never once giving me the time of day until I grew the figure of a woman? Stop acknowledging I will never be enou-” She had countered his request with fire, almost aggressively as her emotions reached a breaking point, however Sebastian had heard enough of her diminishing herself and reacted equally in anger. 
“I said stop! You will always, and have always been my entire world. Even when I did not know it, you were there. After Uncle Solomon, everyone abandoned me except you. I have always loved you so, perhaps not always in the ways you needed me to, but I have. You are too good, too pure, too perfect. I am terrified that I will end up hurting you if I allow you to get too close to a wretched man like myself. That is my curse to bear, for the actions I have chosen. But don’t you ever insinuate that you are worthless to me, not when you -” he stopped shouting, voice cracking as a damn in which he’d been holding back for years finally broke. At his raised voice she had shrunk, not in fear, but in shock, however hearing his voice break caused her heart to leap. 
“Not when you are my sky of stars. You are my willow dancing in the breeze, strong, tall and beautiful. You are the light in the darkness that nearly consumed me.  You are the flash of blue in my world of green, harmonizing the way that the sea meets the shore or the sky kisses the earth. You are the bookkeeper in the library of my life, knowing me in ways that no one has or ever will.  You are the shard that I keep so close to my heart, since you are the one in which it wholly belongs…” he said, voice laced with nothing but pure, arden love as he lifted her hand to his chest. 
“Do you feel that? Do you feel the way it beats for you? How it races faster than a Clydesdale across the highlands? You are at the precipice of my entire being. How could such a broken man like myself not irrevocably love such a woman? But someone so wonderful like you, wanting me? That feels utterly impossible.” he spoke sadly as he leaned in, lips once again only a breath away from her own, as he looked slightly past her. 
“You are the snow on this god forsaken beach. Just breaking down every wall within me without a sound…” he whispered as a single tear fell from the corner of his dark eye and rolled down his face. “I… fuck… come here…” he whispered as she was rendered speechless and he didn’t let the silence linger for long as he pulled her chin closer to his with a hand, his lips harshly pressing to her own as she finally got a taste of him. 
The first thing she noticed, after the initial shock wore off, is that his lips were much softer than she anticipated they would be. After years of staring at the plush, pillowy lips he had, her mind had always created expectations of what they would feel like against her own. Almost as if on instinct, she brought her hands up, curling her fingers into the soft waves at the nap of his neck, holding him closer to her as he continued to kiss her feverantly. 
Sebastian was almost stunned when he felt her tongue tracing over his bottom lip, requesting the entrance to his mouth that she so desperately desired, groaning out when their tongues met one another. The way the appendage danced alongside his own while they continued to grasp, pull and press against one another brought forth a wave of arousal more intense than one he’d ever experienced before.  She was almost stunned at how incredible she was at this…
Breaking away breathlessly, he whispered out “I forgot you were french…” he said, referring to the intense kissing he’d only experienced frequently and quickly with the women in Paris. At his comment he chuckled, leading her to anticipate he would keep talking, but like a starved man, he dived back in and resumed kissing her with more fire than before, immediately forcing his tongue back into a battle with hers. 
The way his hands roamed her body, as if he knew every dimple, every freckle, every curve, every scar before he had even began to touch her, left her feeling breathless. He commanded her body’s natural reaction simply with his expert hands and even more adept lips, trailing away from her mouth and pressing kisses to her neck and collarbone while she melted into him. 
Sebastian’s hands grasp at her thighs, lifting her from sitting on the stone next to him, to pull her over him, gently setting the girl on his lap as he tipped her neck to more firmly meet his mouth. He was almost surprised when she immediately began to rock back and forth in his lap, shocked that she was already so comfortable with physical relations, but then again she had told him she wasn’t a blushing virgin anymore… 
She too shouldn’t have been surprised when she felt him growing more and more aroused underneath her clothed core, as she continued gently rocking on his lap. The heat that consumed the both of them, brought forth a rosy hew to their complexions, specifically Sebastian by igniting the constellations across his cheeks and forehead into a wine stained nebula. 
Pulling away she rested her forehead against his own, eyes searching his to ground the both of them back in reality. Reality? Reality. Yes. Reality. A place she currently existed, perched atop his lap as his hands were planted along her hip and the side of her neck. A reality in which she could still taste him upon her lips. Where she could still feel his uneven breath upon her face, as the small cloud broke through the freezing cold winds rushing off the sea. A reality where she pulled back to see just how much snow had collected in his unkempt chocolate brown locks, even more dishevled than normal considering the way she had run her fingers through it.  The wild look he continued to wear as the result of their osculation.  His dark eyes piercing her own, greedily drinking her appearance as well. He looked so much more handsome when he had that feral look in his eyes, she couldn’t help but think.
She also couldn’t help but allow a small smirk to work itself onto the corners of her swollen lips, prideful to the fact that she had caused him to look in such a manor. It had all been a culmination of him kissing her. 
“Wow…” he said dreamily after a moment, the wind still nipping at their cheeks and the snow continuing to fall around them. A single flake fell between the nearly non existent space between them, catching in his long eyelashes as she gazed upon the man. 
“That was…” she tried to articulate, words dying upon her lips as she struggled to put into words the way he made her stomach drop, her heart soar and her mind empty. Not to mention, the way her core throbbed with need between them… or perhaps that was sebastian throbbing beneath her… she couldn’t be quite sure. 
She giggled out at her frustration, and he joined in not long after she started, as the two worked their small chuckles into full laughter. At hearing the melodic sound leaving her blushed lips, Sebastian pulled her in closer, resting his face in the slightly chilled crook of her neck and the side of his head against her own. She responded by wrapping tighter around him, her arms going around to the space under his worn leather coat. 
“You truly have no idea how long I have wanted to do that” he admitted after a moment, pulling back slightly, but not before taking a deep inhale of her perfume.
“I think I do know” she countered with a raised eyebrow, referring to the several almost kisses that he’d stolen previously, not to mention her own desires to do so long before he had those thoughts of his own. 
At this he laughed again, the hearty noise filling the space between them as his heart continued to pound in his chest. Never in all his life had he felt so happy and at peace than to be here with her, making jokes after confirming the love the two shared. To be completely content within the company of one another, even after all this time, felt like something more powerful than even the strongest magic he could conjur. 
“My Mon Chou…” he whispered with a boyish grin, eyes once again meeting hers as his tone softened, alluding to a possibility he expected to wake up any moment. It rivaled one of a small child, experiencing something wonderful for the first time, as they would speak with awestruck wonder. 
“Mon garçon de ferme…” she countered as his smile widened enough to show his teeth. She remembered he often wouldn’t smile so brightly, given he was admittedly self conscious about how his teeth looked and how awkward he appeared when his nostrils flared and his large teeth became unobstructed in a smile. While she always argued this line of thought to be grossly overexaggerated on his part, she knew that he only allowed himself to smile like this when he was truly happy. The fact he did so now, warming her heart despite the freezing chill. 
Almost as if reminded of the cold, she shuddered against him as he too became aware their chosen location wasn’t ideal given the strong winds off the ocean made for bone chilling air. 
“I suppose I should’ve been more of a gentleman and not have poured the fullest of my affections onto the woman I love dearly when it was this terribly cold and uncomfortable outside” he admitted regretfully as he brushed his snow damp fringe off his forehead. 
“I would not alter a thing about this moment” she said sharply, laying her head on his shoulder, as her body caved into his, and she relaxed in his arms. She remained on his lap for the time being, legs pushed to one side instead of the way they had previously been settled on both sides of his waist. 
“So you wouldn’t have chosen a more romantic spot if given the option?” he asked playfully, resting his head atop hers as he brought his hand down to examine hers. He was taken aback at how dainty her hands still looked after the many years of abuse from her chores, wand holding and other activities. Instead it sat within his calloused grip, her fingers thin and long, and the skin so incredibly soft to the touch it rivaled rose petals. 
“I wouldn’t change a thing” she said blissfully, closing her eyes and allowing herself to be grounded within the moment. He followed her lead, watching the faint outline of the waves crash along the shore through the more intensly falling snow. 
“Me either” he admitted, allowing the comforting peace the moment brought to counter the raging emotions within him. She sat here, on his lap no less, and for the first time they had indulged in and thrown caution to the wind. After years of falling in love, he finally decided that this woman, this lovely, wonderful, incredible woman was worth the fear of messing up. That she was no longer an emotion to repress, but one to feel in it’s fullest extent. Finally, there was no hiding it. 
“The woman you love dearly?” she asked mischieviously after a moment, lifting her head from his shoulder to gaze up at him, her brilliant eyes sparkling with reflections of falling snow. 
“Among other things, but yes” he admitted, finally not finding the words frightening to say out loud. 
“Such as?” Her tone was hopeful, and he was not in the business of denying her anymore moving forward. He vowed then and there, that she would never suffer as a result of his repressed thoughts or emotions. “My best friend… my favorite confidant… the most beautiful witch I’ve ever known… the love of my life…” he whispered, once again pressing his lips to hers as they kissed along the snow covered beach.
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red-riding-wood · 1 year
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Back from Hiatus
Trigger warning? I think? Brief mentions of medical stuff, nothing graphic. Oh, and death (but none occurred).
TLDR if you don't want to read seven paragraphs: Physical health bad, mental health bad, now hospitalised, fucked up when transferring my story files, hospital bad, home soon?, regardless you will be seeing me back in your feed probably more than you'd like
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Rambling below cut
So, about a month ago I had to take a step back from Tumblr... and then an even bigger step back from Tumblr, because I had taken a step back from writing and I found that I just pressured myself too much to write and post when I did use the app. (I did my best to save your guys' stories in my drafts to read later but... I may have missed some and I definitely have some catching up to do.)
Why did I take a hiatus from writing? Well, that was due to my physical health declining in a real bad way. I won't get into it too much here, because I would end up telling a dramatic yet probably honestly boring story of the last four years of my life, but I'm willing to answer any questions if anyone's curious.
Anyway, that sent my head into a state of just utter... fear, I suppose. It's very difficult to care or focus on anything else when death is literally on your mind, and I was also in this weird state of limbo because I wasn't sure if I would be going to hospital or dying or what... so I didn't write, or really do anything except try to take care of myself the best I could. And I pretty much just isolated.
I've been in hospital a couple days now. The fear of death has lessened, and I think I'm gonna be okay, though I'm straight up not having a good time. I had this idea that what would get me through it was writing, so I sent myself all of my docs for my WIPs. Thing is, I keep shortcuts to them on my desktop, and apparently they don't save changes to the root file?? A lesson I learned after I showed up and found that massive chunks of my writing, notes, and storyboards were missing. Yeah, I fucked up.
But now there is talk of outpatient care as soon as this Friday which means I can maybe go home with my TPN (feeding through a vein tube which is the best way I can describe it since I am not a medical professional; it's basically a hardcore IV and I assure you it's badass and exactly like Cyberpunk 2077 -- that was sarcasm but seriously, props to anyone who lives with these because these are terrifying). If that's the case, I'll be able to carry on with White Ribbon and the fics I had started for Darjeeling and Budapest, and it will probably be a lot easier for me to write in general. I haven't tried writing yet, but hospital is a really uncomfortable environment for me (I mean, I'm sure it is for most people but I have a lovely lifetime dose of trauma on top of the usual) and I'm not managing as well as I thought I would so I have my doubts on how well I will be able to focus. (Don't worry about requests, guys... I haven't forgotten about any of them and I still fully intend to fulfill them, even if it means writing your smutty fantasies in hospital.)
If that's not the case, and I'm stuck here until surgery, well, I am willing it into the damn universe that I'm gonna write again regardless. So if you don't see me post something in the next week you have my blessing to send copious amounts of hate mail.
Thank you for reading my long-winded explanation. Oh, and, don't hesitate to message/reach out or tag me in anything! I'm feeling more social again now that I'm not, you know, dying and stuff.
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allaganexarch · 17 days
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May Madness
May-hem? Whatever. Anyway.
I have been freed from the clutches of law school for the summer and I have many personal goals and projects I would like to work on, so I thought I would shout about them here!
Writing Goals:
scorched earth (7/11-12ish) -- Prisoner-verse (OC-focused) -- still surprisingly on-track with the original outline I made! I was hoping to get this done over winter break, but I ended up working literally the whole time and then being super burned out. I've kept the structure of this story deliberately simple, so I think I might be able to finish it within the month!
ghost of you (2/4) -- Wheel of Time (Moiraine/Lan) -- part 3 is legit almost done but I need to get back into the Mood and the Vibes you know LOL. and I think it absolutely needs a part 4 to be paced the way I want it. next chapter very soon; 4th chapter idk but shouldn't take too much longer!
original thing (registered trademark, available by scrounging around on my blog for an untagged mess of nothingness) -- since I completely failed at making any progress on this last month due to school nonsense, hoping to make another big push next month! (not that I WON'T work on it before then, just that the above have priority!) completely insane goal would be to push for an extremely messy completed first draft by the end of the summer. but that would be insane. right. right,.., , ,,
still thinking about ways to share this as I work on it for those who are interested, as I am too insane to keep quiet about it forever! I have some other ideas, and there's always the chance I'll spontaneously become insane about something else, but the above are my priorities for now!
If this is all you care about feel free to stop reading here LOL the other goals are more personal ones!
Fitness Goals:
I've been unhappy with my level of fitness for a long time now (made especially bad by my situation during the pandemic) and while I've been able to make some major improvements even with the stresses of grad school, I think I can do a lot better with a little extra time on my hands!
In a few days, I'm planning to start the Insanity workout program (I have my workout class for the next two days lol), which is a two-month HIIT-based program with fit tests every two-ish weeks, so I'll probably post my results here since this is basically the only social media I use and it's nice to keep track LOL. I've also started doing a 20-30 minute brisk walk on an incline in the evening, and while I'm currently just aiming for my daily 10k steps, I'm hoping to push that up to a 15k minimum soon. As I acclimate to the Insanity workouts, I'll also try working in some other activities in the afternoon in the hopes of fostering an overall more active lifestyle. I'm also making changes to my diet, but I'm being very chill about this so I don't become miserable and insane LOL. My main goals are weight loss and building core strength.
Korean Learning Goals:
For the last few months I've been in the frustrating position of an advanced beginner, meaning there are a lot of learning materials that are either way too easy or too hard for me. So, since I have some time, I'd like to put in the hours and push for a major improvement--I want to try to get myself to a low intermediate level of proficiency. I think this will open up a LOT of learning materials for me, and hopefully allow me to hold simple conversations without feeling like I'm dying. There's a lot I need to tackle, but for now I think my main goals are building vocabulary, improving reading speed, and massively increasing my output. I'm aiming pretty high--I'm hoping for about 25 hours/week of active studying/practicing, along with other passive/fun input. I'll be working my way through the first 6 textbooks/workbooks from Talk to Me in Korean (I theoretically know most of the material through level 3 but can't use it on command), and just generally trying to write and speak a lot. I've also been using HelloTalk sporadically to make little journal entry-type posts, so I'll be doing that more frequently, and also trying to track my progress and how I'm feeling at the end of each week.
I tend to aim high when I set goals for myself because I find doing this means I'll definitely accomplish at least some of what I set out to do, and I personally don't really mind not reaching goals as long as I feel I've made noticeable progress. I also think it probably says something that while I was thinking about these goals I legitimately had the thought, "oh, and priority number four, relax and have fun and stuff" lol like okay girl. But I have high hopes, and I think having these goals will actually help me enjoy and get the most out of this downtime! Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for listening to my rambles! 💪🥰
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hotwings0203 · 3 years
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Decided to do a part 2 (due courtesy of @an-ambivalent and @definitetrashlord for motivating me to even continue this series HEHE💖)
Pt. 1
Tw: manipulation, dubcon, language
It isn’t the cum that slides down your legs continuously, nor the black and blue marks that so obviously covers the expanse of your neck at all times, no.
It’s the constant surveillance you’re under, it’s the lack of conversation you get from your comrades, it’s the way you mold and shift for however he wants you to be that solidifies his hold on you.
The attack from three weeks ago feels like yesterday, the way he held your head up by your hair after he was done ruining you and crooned in your ear that you were his now, and you’d be suicidal if you continued to lash out on his godsent decision plays like a broken record in your head.
You can’t look him in the eyes now, only meekly staring at his feet when he orders you to stand in front of him. Sometimes he’ll circle you and invade in your personal space, standing behind you and leaning in close behind your ear, simply inhaling you and saying nothing. Other times when no one’s around he’ll lounge back on the couch with a beer in his hand, spreading his knees wide while he lazily orders you to dance for him, slowly stripping away your self esteem and clothes simultaneously.
He doesn’t seem to outwardly mind the silence that seeps from you anymore, now that he has your body and attention focused solely on him.
Even Tomura has stopped talking to you just for fun. He’ll try and make a snipe at you, fruitlessly expecting your once-usual comebacks, but all you can do is blearily smile at him.
It makes everyone uneasy how quickly you’ve been reduced to nothing.
You couldn’t leave even if you tried to. Your medical skills were too valuable to be rejected, and Dabi’s scrutinizing tabs on you wouldn’t allow for even a foot stepped outside if not for Shigaraki’s missions.
Even your meals are meager at best, mainly consisting of copious amounts of alcohol and shitty ambiguous burnt food that pops up on the counters randomly.
You feel dirty, like a disease-infested rat. No amount is showering from the dingy stalls, no amount of cheap soap bars wittled down on your body erases the feeling of being used.
Dabi has never been in more love than he has now.
He hopes you like the food he makes, secretly placing it on the bar counter seconds before you sit down. Sure, the food might be a little burnt, but it’s still your favorite right?
It doesn’t matter how expensive the shower products are, he thinks they smell nice and that they’d smell even better on you. Shigaraki can fuck off, he’s not spending too much revenue on his girl, it’s the bare minimum he can do to show you how much he appreciates you playing by his rules...even if he can never say it out loud.
And his favorite part at the end of every day is putting his surely-misplaced words of affection into action, where he can scream with his body against yours how long he’s wanted you for, how thankful he is to any deity that exists that you’ve been placed in his care.
Dabi might be in love, but he’s not stupid though.
He sees the way your body becomes more and more deteriorated, notices the small change of you hesitation to answer him, the way you can never truly look at him, how you retreat to his room more and more(your room has just become a guest room now after he burned all your belongings, rendering you completely dependent on him to supply you with scratchy clothes and feminine products, no matter how embarrassing it is for you). It’s so frustrating to him- you’re not actually doing anything wrong, but you’re not doing it right either. How long does he have to keep threatening you for? Why can’t you just be happy with him? At least pretend like he’s not the villain for once.
He just feels so passionately for you, a word he never thought would be used in his vocabulary. It all bottles up, and sometimes he feels like he isn’t expressing his feelings of love, jealousy at you not giving him enough attention at times, concern over your quiet demeanor, and wanting of you enough.
You’ve never been more broken than you are now.
If it wasn’t bad enough that you bend at his every beck and call, he expects you to understand his body language and cravings without him even saying anything, which is more so often than not. He just stares at you for so, so long. You originally tried to get up and leave after he dragged you over to the couch and plopped you down, but immediately stilled after smoke began curling from his wrists.
“What do you want?”
“Nothing.”
You look at him incredulously, but his lids are lowered at you as he smokes a blunt. And so you exhale in annoyance and run a hand through your hair, closing your eyes to avoid looking into his unnerving glacial eyes.
It’s too bad you don’t see the big red hearts in them that break when you turn away from him.
You’re just so pretty, how can you expect him not to stare?
He tries to get you to do weird things too when you guys are alone and he’s not plowing you into the mattress.
Once on a cool winter night a majority of the League was out hunting for recruits. Dabi, you, and Spinner had done your quotas already-or,rather, Dabi had yanked you by your wrist alongside him through the dark alleyways, growling at you to “Keep your mouth shut and let me do the talking. If I see you looking at any one of these trash kindlings I’ll burn the whole alley up and force you to watch”.
And so while the rest of the party was out, Spinner had mumbled something about needing to take a piss with a pointed glare from Dabi and you were left alone again with your...boyfriend?
He sits down on the crumbling leather and gives you a once over, not saying anything.
You fidget in place, thinking he was going to make you give him another slutty show.
Moments pass, and he snaps, “Well?”
“W-well what?”
“Are you just gonna stand there like some braindead bitch? Sit down.” He leers at you.
You drop into the loveseat at the other end, looking down at your lap. You can’t see his expression, but he scoffs in disbelief.
“Are you actually slow? Get the fuck over here, it’s cold as shit.”
And so you scooch over to him regrettably, knees touching with his as you squirm.
He leans forward and turns to face you, reaching out a hand to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. He notices you trembling and squeezing your eyes shut, so he stops midway.
He sits back again and as soon as you feel his presence retreat you let out our breath.
It hurts his heart to hear it.
You solely turn to face him when he doesn’t say anything, and he points to one of the grimy blankets strewn over the side of the tv. He grunts, and you catch his drift.
You get up to retrieve it, and hear his gravelly voice. “Get the remote too.”
When both items are brought back, Dabi snatches the blanket from you and drapes it over himself contentedly.
What am I, an errand girl?
He tosses the remote at you to your surprise, and you look at him with raised eyebrows.
He props his cheek against a fist and stares briefly at the tv.
You take your chances and press the on button on the remote.
The ancient monitor comes to life, and it takes a few minutes of scrolling through the channels and glancing at Dabi’s face to decide the appropriate one to watch. You settle on some old slasher finally after seeing the scowl on his face lessen at the sight of a rusted blade chopping through some guy’s shoulders.
It’s weird to be sitting there with your bully-turned-beau, watching a horror flick as if your relationship with him was normal. You’re surprised he hasn’t jumped your bones yet, it’s what he always wants to do these days as if you’re planning on leaving and it’s his last dying wish to fuck you.
But he does nothing except for sit there, gazing at the screen with unblinking eyes, bouncing his knee.
He wants you near him.
What, does he have to spell it out for you? Why do you think he even sat you next to him with a blanket and a shitty movie?
Dabi expected you to snuggle up to him the moment you say back down. It’s rather insulting that you haven’t so far, if he’s being honest. Why would a fire user like him need a blanket to keep warm? That was for you.
And the horror movie? The only reason he allowed you to put it on is because he wanted you to jump, scream, flinch-hell, do something so he can put an arm around you and tease you for being scared!
But you just sit there. Stock-still, like a deer caught in headlights. Hands in your lap, back straight up, it bothers him that you’re not relaxing around him.
“Aren’t you cold?” You jump at the break in silence.
Indeed it is cold, the chilly winter draft seeping through the crumbling foundations of the old bar. But you’d resist, not wanting to know where he was going with this.
“Uh, no, I’m good thanks.”
He looks at you like you’re crazy. “You’re literally shaking cold, doll. Come here.”
You turn to him beseechingly, very much not wanting to prolong this. “Dabi...”
You’re met with an icy glare.
And so you begrudgingly scoot closer to him, barely a few inches away. Gingerly picking up the corner of the blanket, you place it over your lap in a faux effort to warm yourself.
Dabi rolls his eyes when he sees this, and pulls you by your arms to fall against his chest.
You gasp lightly at how warm his torso is, and can’t help the shiver that passes over you.
Unable to stop yourself from chasing the warmth amidst the cold night, you huddle closer to him, pressing your palms against his chest to feel more of his heat.
He looks down at your head and gives the slightest twitch of his lips.
His heart swells, and he hopes you don’t hear how embarrassingly loud it’s pounding against your hands.
You slowly start melting in his hold, shifting your leg up adjoining his to seek out more heat, and it makes his cock twitch slightly. He likes you like this: pliant, easy, comfortable. He just wishes you’d talk more, and with less of that apprehension and fear in your eyes
Some minutes pass, the slasher fic having been ended and changing to a rom-com. Dabi doesn’t remember the last time he saw one of those. It must have been back when he was Touya, back when his mom would bake his favorite cookies and him and Fuyumi-chan and Natsu would chase each other around-
You stir in his arms, mumbling a bit from dozing off. Dabi gazes at you, wondering when the day would be when you bake him his favorite meals, when he gets to chase you around and make you giggle instead of chasing you like prey and making you scream.
He rubs up and down you arms soothingly with hot palms as you murmur and begin to wake up. You sit up from his chest and rub your eyes, yawning widely all the while.
It’s only when you focus on him smirking down at you that you jump back as if you’ve been electrocuted.
His smile drops at that.
You scowl at his proximity, mentally face-palming at how you could’ve been lulled to sleep so easily by this dickhead. It wasn’t even that cold, how could you have warmed up so easily to him?
A blast of icy air seemingly coming from nowhere settled over your bones and you shivered violently, rubbing your arms that were warm a minute ago.
Okay, maybe it was a bit cold. But you’d be damned if you willingly became vulnerable for him any more than you had to.
“Is someone tired?” He teased, his white teeth gleaming with his sickening grin.
“Whatever, I’m going to bed,” you mutter and avert your eyes, getting up to go upstairs.
“Good idea, I think I’ll come too.” You don’t need to turn around to hear the smug laughter in his voice, knowing full well that he was making fun of you.
You grumble and stalk upstairs with him right at your heels. At one point he lifts his gaze just to see your cute ass sashaying side-to-side with every step you took up.
He can’t help himself when he reaches a hand out and squeezes the flesh there, causing you to yelp and shoot up the stairs even faster.
Dabi shakes his head and snickers to himself, beelining after you to his quarters.
It’s a medium size-room, not meant for two people but that doesn’t stop him from cramming you in here every night.
You’re already glowering at his sheets, yanking them back and getting ready to dive in when a sudden thought strikes him.
“Have you eaten yet?” He leans against the door, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.
“Yes.” Comes your muddled answer from beneath the comforter.
You did not, in fact, eat anything for almost a day and a half. You couldn’t do it, your stomach was constantly in knots from his presence.
“Don’t lie to me,” his nostrils flare and he glares at you.
“I said I ate already.”
“Yeah? When exactly? ‘Cause if I remember right, i haven’t seen you leave my sight for almost 36 hours now, and none of that time includes when you ate.”
You stay silent, fuming underneath the covers. Why the hell was he so concerned about you? It pisses you off that he’s putting up a fake act of caring about you, just so that he feels less guilty about raping you.
He sighs and shifts to open the door. “Stop being such a bratty little shit. You were doing so well earlier, so keep it that way unless you wanna piss me off.”
Dabi turns the knob and takes a step out of the room. “I’ll ask you one last time before I choose myself- what do you wanna eat?”
“Eat shit.”
It’s so faint and muffled, but he hears it. His eyes widen marginally, his jaw clenches and the brass knob under his inflamed palm starts to steam and bubble.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
“I said eat shit!” You throw the covers off and glare at him full on. “Stop pretending like you actually like me, or that you care about me. You’re a crazy fucking rapist, you’re not my father for gods’ sake, so stop trying to be this fake good person!”
The only sound around the room is your soft panting and the squeaking of bubbling metal. Then, it stop.
He steps forward, and speaks softly. “You want me to be the villain so bad?”
Another step forward, and you instinctively retract your legs from the edge of the bed.
“Fine. We’ll play your little game. You’re not leaving this room until I say so, or eating until I give you permission, since that’s what you wanted anyways. Wanna act like a stone cold bitch? Be my guest.”
His posture immediately relaxes, and his smug smile returns as he crosses the room to flip onto the bed.
You look at him in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?”
He turns over and scrolls through his phone.
There’s no way he’s serious. Is he actually planning on keeping you in this room? You’re already limited to the base as it is with him breathing down your back, no way in hell you’d tolerate even more confinement.
Just to check his bluff, you slowly slip off the bed and pad towards the door, one eye over your shoulder to check that he hadn’t turned around. But the second your hand outreaches for the disfigured blob of cooling metal on the door, a massive wave of blue flames lash out mere inches from your hand and between the knob.
You scream and clutch your hand, leaping backwards.
“What the fuck, Dabi?!”
He says nothing, but continues to smirk at his phone.
You take a deep breath and are about to try to open it again his his raspy voice calls out, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. My nursing skills aren’t as good as yours. And even if you do manage to sever your hand and try again, if you leave then I’ll personally make sure Shigaraki withdraws all your missions here on out.”
You pause at that, cursing under your breath. As much as you knew he’d never admit it to your face, your leader needed Dabi for long distance combat. He was the second most powerful member in the group, so his word was scripture after Shigaraki’s himself. He would do anything Dabi would say if it meant keeping him in the League. You, however, were expendable at the end of the day.
Sighing, you trudge your way back to the rickety bed, grumbling under your breath. He says nothing, simply continuing to scroll through his phone as if he didn’t blast hellfire at you seconds before.
Sleep did not come easily. Even after Dabi put his phone away, he didn’t press up against you like he usually did at night. The empty space behind you was growing colder and harder to ignore.
You tossed and turned for a couple minutes, contemplating what to do. Apparently he was serious when he said he wouldn’t let you leave the room until he said so. So when was he gonna give you the all-clear?
Your stomach rumbled loudly, and you winced clutching it. Damn it. If only you had taken up his offer instead of throwing a tantrum.
Finally, after an excruciating 10 minutes more of deafening silence save for your weeping stomach, you cave in.
“Dabi.”
Silence.
“Dabi, you awake?” You prop yourself up on an elbow and peek over his shoulder. His eyes are closed, but his chest is moving too fast for a slumber.
“Look, I’m...I’m sorry I didn’t listen, okay? I should’ve eaten when you told me to.”
Nothing again.
“Hey.” You lightly shake his shoulder, but no response comes from him.
You sigh in frustration, tapping your fingers on the pillowcase. Suddenly, an idea comes to you, but it makes your stomach recoil in disgust and quiet down its grumbling. Desperation is a bitch.
“Can I make it up to you...?”
And finally, he turns around to face you, one cheek propped against his palm, a lazy grin complimenting his salacious gaze.
“Well, why didn’t you just say so earlier doll?”
You grimace in disgust, mixed emotions at your plan working.
“So what exactly did you have in mind, hmm?” He pouts condescendingly down at you, and you grit your teeth before letting him in on it.
“Um, well..I thought maybe I could...um, y’know, like..I wanna, um...” Oh god. This was more embarrassing than you thought. How are you supposed to ask your captor if you can suck his dick? Usually he just took you fighting tooth and nail, you never fully submitted like this before.
And he knows it too, based on the way his eyes gleam in the silver moonlight and shadows of lust cross his face while looking at your wide eyes and bitten bottom lip, your fidgeting fingers showing nothing but needing pure guidance.
But this isn’t supposed to be easy, he doesn’t want you to feel comfortable, he wants you to feel bad and make it up to him.
To give you a little push, however, he gives toga slight hint as he sits up and leans back against the rickety bedrest, folding his arms behind his head.
“So, what’s it gonna be sweetheart? ‘Gonna stare at me like that all night or are you gonna tell me how you’re gonna make this up to me?”
You look up at him, conflicted for a moment before solidifying your resolve. You shyly reach out a hand and touch the outside of his thigh, slowly rubbing and moving it closer up to the tent in his pelvis.
Oh, this is precious.
“What?” He sneers. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. You were pushing me away earlier, but now you wanna suck my dick? Make up your mind, babe.”
You wince and continue, not backing down from his mean comment. You knew he wanted this, he expected this from you. That’s why even though he’s spitting venom from his lips, his hips are bucking up into your hand as you stroke over his member.
Your fingers move nimbly up and down, around and under his thighs and dick, with him softly cursing in the background as he grows harder and harder.
“Stop being a tease and get to sucking. It’s what you were made for, anyways,” Dabi’s low voice comes out from in between little moans.
Your hand shakes a little bit as you fumble with the drawstrings on his pj’s, and he snickers at your inexperience. When you finally free his length, it bounces out like its on fucking hydraulics, precum beading up at the tip, his shaft coated with an intimidation Jacob’s Ladder.
He watches you lick your lips and he groans under his breath. You’re nervous and scared, but he’s wondering whose heart is beating faster right now. The hand which you use to hesitantly start pumping him is so much softer than his own, and even though he’s gotten fairly accustomed to your body and the feel of it, the sensations multiply tenfold when you do it willingly for him.
Dabi has half a mind to shove your head down onto his shaft when he feels like you’re stalling with your hands, however good they feel. He wants to see you sloppy with saliva dribbling down your chin like a baby.
But he waits. As excruciatingly painful as it is, he wants to see what you’re like when you do things at your own pace, and at your own...comfort? If you can even call it that.
Finally, finally after caving in from his silent flower you get the idea to put it in your mouth.
Your face contorts in disgust as you slowly lower your head and latch your lips onto the slippery bulb, hollowing your cheeks out and sucking hard at the tip.
Dabi hisses and juts his hips up into your mouth, furiously chewing at his burnt lower lip as he holds back a pornographic moan. He knows you’d be startled and embarrassed by it, so he refrains...for now.
That doesn’t mean he’s not gonna tell you what to do, though.
“Yeah, just like that. Suck it like an ice-pop. No, don’t use your teeth idiot. And fondle my balls while you’re at it, too.”
Instructions pour into your ears, one after another as you fumble around trying to satiate his needs. You’re clumsy, which makes it even messier and hotter for him. Various fluids coat your hand and the lower half of your face as you work on him, doing exactly what he says. Sucking and kitten-licking the tip, even going so far as to dip your tongue into the crevice of his tiny hole and rapidly lick up the massive amounts of pre bubbling up after doing so, spiraling your tongue down the piercings and on his shaft until you circle around his balls. Your spit helps as lube to slick up his dick as you pump your hand while nursing on his plush balls.
Dabi, of course, has a hand woven through your hair and randomly jerks down on your head when you hit a good spot. You can tell he’s trying his best to hold back from his way his body and arms shake in self restraint, so you know it’s time to finish things up before his control snaps.
You start stroking him even faster, squeezing a little harder when you move up on his tip and massaging his balls. The soft schlick schlick sounds echo throughout the quiet room, the rustling of his sheets as his legs move to their own accord mute the thudding of both your hearts.
You can tell his orgasm is about to come from the way his cheeks puff up and his chest heaves. Pulling away is futile, as the second he sees recognition in your eyes he finally does what he’s been wanting to do, and slams your head all the way down his length.
He starts actually face-fucking you now, all 7 1/2 inches tightly cramming in your throat. You retch and cry out around his dick, trying to pull your head back but he’s not having it; he pounds the back of your canal and you swear you’ll wake up with a bruised esophagus in the morning.
“Fuck, fuckfuckfuck yes doll, fuck, just a little more, you’re doing so good, my little cumdump huh? You love me, yeah? Of course you do, of course you love your daddy, you’re never gonna leave me you’re gonna stay right here under me like the good little girl you are-“
Filth pours from his mouth as white ropes leave his cock, your already-filled throat flooding with his seed and leaking out of your strained mouth.
You squeeze your eyes shut as he waits for a moment or two, calming his breath down by taking deep inhales in place of his rapid panting. His breath deepens after a minute or two, but he still has an iron grip on the back of your head sealed so tight that the cum is trapped on the inside of your stretched lips.
“Mmmfh!” You cry out and beat at his knee. He finally looks down at focuses on you, squinting and laughing at your predicament.
“Aww what’s wrong, don’t wanna gargle my kids? Would you rather have them someplace else?” He shakes your head back and forth on his softening cock and more seed spills out over your mouth and around his groin.
You painfully pull your head up, and Dabi revels in how you look.
Teary-eyed, your hair a mess, cum and spit coating your mouth like a fucking whore.
You’ve never looked more beautiful to him than you have at that moment.
“Come on, clean me up,” he gestures to the mess on his body, and you grimace.
“Do I have to? I just did what you wanted me to-“
“I thought you were trying to make it up to me?” He raises an eyebrow and looks you up and down.
You sigh and try to do it quickly, ingesting the vile contents and avoiding his cruel grin.
After what seemed like a lifetime, you finish him off and flop down in bed, catching your breath.
“So, was that good enough? Can I go outside now?”
“It’s the middle of the night, where the hell would you go right now?” He fluffs up his pillow and pulls his pants back up, getting ready to actually sleep this time.
“Well, I mean yeah, but...you know what I mean, in the morning you’ll let me go out, right?”
He rolls over to face you, and you can’t decipher what emotion crosses his face as his position blocks out the moonlight. From his body rolled over, the light reflecting off the side of his head would almost make it seem like he had white hair.
“Who said anything about letting you go out?”
You gape at him for a moment, then chuckle nervously. “Come on, don’t freak me out like that. You said that if I made it up to you-“
“I said make it up to me, as in apologize for your bitchy attitude. I didn’t say anything about you leaving. You’re gonna have to do more than a shitty blowjob if you wanna leave this room.”
“Dabi!”
“What? I’m just complying with what you wanted. You didn’t wanna go with me, right? So, I’m playing by your rules.” He says simply, shrugging as if it’s no big deal.
Tears brim up in your eyes. “You’re an asshole.”
“Exactly. Which is why you’re not leaving until I say so.”
You turn over and scoot away from him, ignoring his scoff. But you suppose you couldn’t be too mad, after all.
You don’t know what you were expecting from a villain anyways.
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sekceesimps · 3 years
Text
Dying Light (a yandere Zhongli x reader oneshot)
summary: Zhongli comes to claim his darling after she fails to fulfill her end of the contract 
a/n I wish I could say this was requested but I love this man too much. Writing this one had me feeling some kind of way… Hope you all enjoy and leave some requests (pls do yandere Genshin 🤧 smh)! 
Sincerely Coffee
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His dark hair shines vividly in the solemn moonlight. Amber eyes radiant, like the purest of diamonds, and fixated right on you. You stand before him and try to subtly shrink away under his piercing gaze. The candles in the room flicker from some gusts of wind coming in. Zhongli seems stiff and at attention, but at the same time far away, lost in thought. Your light and unconscious movement backwards out of fear, unnoticed by you, immediately snapped the archon’s thoughts back to you. 
A ghost of a smile begins to dance its way onto his handsome face, a stark difference to the dangerous threats he had whispered into your ear just moments ago. The light gave him an eerie appearance. 
“Darling Y/N, I’m afraid that you didn’t uphold your end of the bargain,” he frowned and cocked his head mockingly. You step backwards some more until your back hits the wall of the funeral parlor. He has a predatory gaze now as he steps forward and pins a hand on the surface next to your head. He leans forward to further take in your panic. It brought him distress to see that you weren’t comfortable around him. 
“I’m sure you were a good girl and read the fine print. Surely you must be aware that at the end of our contract, if it was that you couldn’t fulfill your end of the deal, then you must join the greatest contract of all time with me?” he continues and runs another hand hand teasingly down your jaw. 
“Perhaps you could entertain me and tell me what that greatest contract is?” you ask hesitantly. Beginning to feel the gravity of the situation as you notice the way the archon caresses you and looks at you with eyes filled with a dangerous sort of adoration. 
“Oh Y/N, you’ve been bad, I thought you understood everything when you signed. I mean marriage of course,” he answered gleefully, eyes sparkling with affection and excitement at your shocked expression. 
Yes, just when did this feeling for you begin, he had pondered to himself. There was no mistaking that these emotions he felt for you were love. He was sure that you also loved him, so why did you look so afraid? He would show you again how perfect the two of you are. 
- - - 
Zhongli is not one to break his word. He is the archon of contracts after all. When you had approached him, as Rex Lapis, a few months ago he had decided to learn much more about you.  
You were an interesting mortal and had almost immediately caught the God’s attention. The geo archon had taken to shying away from the affairs of humans over the last hundred years or two. However he tended to make exceptions for interesting people with even more interesting requests. 
“I’d like to ask for some help,” your melodic voice said, breaking the silence in Rex Lapis’s abode. “If that means signing into a contract with you, then I accept,”
He appeared near you in an instant, “Even if that means not getting the best deal?” he asks, startling you slightly. 
“Yes,” you breathe out lightly. 
“Hmm, you’ve caught my interest,” he responds, putting a hand to his chin, as if he was thinking long and hard about a potential deal with you, “do go on with what you need my help for” he finishes. Of course, he already knew what you needed. He had been watching you for quite a while, but he loved hearing your voice and being near you for once. 
“I need to find someone and I can’t do it by myself. Could you please lend me your strength and assistance as I look for this person” you practically begged him. Oh how he wanted to hear your begging in a different context. It was taking everything within him to not tug you by your hair and bring you to his side forever by force. He knew that you probably wouldn’t appreciate that and he still had to do his job and draft a contract. That is when the idea had struck him to skillfully find a way to keep you with him forever. 
“Very well, let us start writing up a contract then,” he pronounces with a tone of disinterest, secretly preening with joy on the inside. You perk up and smile largely at him, it brought him satisfaction knowing that he made you feel like that. 
“Alright that should be everything,” he finishes and removes his quill from the scroll. “I will come to you whenever you need help, all you must do is call out my name. As for my benefit, all you need to do is find this person you hold dear and that will be enough for me. You have the next 70 days to complete this, of course there will be a punishment if you can’t fulfill your end. However I have the most faith in your skills.” you nod at him in confirmation as you take the pen from him and leave a scrawling signature on the paper. A glowing binding tying you to the archon, prompting you to blush at how close the two of you were now. “Don’t disappoint me, Y/N'' he whispered and let you leave his abode with a smile. The first step in his plan to make you his was finished. Time to wait for your inevitable failure. 
Now he wasn’t going to actively make you fail, he still was true to his job and bound himself to you so that you could call him for help. He would still assist you as well. However, he agreed to what you wanted because he knew the task itself was impossible. This brother you were looking for was long gone for sure, he made sure of that before he signed on to your contract. He couldn’t wait for when the two of you would finally be spending the next few weeks together. 
 Zhongli was smart about the way he conducted himself around you. He was careful not to give you any hints of his true intentions. Sometimes though there would be foolish people who pushed him. Whenever he saw you talking with, brushing arms with, or giving attention to others, the archon would be fuming. Of course, he would let it simmer, playing for the long game instead. It never failed to make him angry and anxious that these insignificant mortals thought they had a change with his future wife, it caused him to let out a tsch in annoyance. 
The two of you had wonderful moments in your quest. Your ability to work well together in battle allowed for quick defeats of random hilichurls on the journey. Truly your skills were something he admired and loved about you. 
The first night you left a parting goodnight kiss on his cheek was what made him truly believe in life again. Your warm lips against his skin ignited a flame within him that he didn’t know he yearned to have lit.  It began to become a sort of tradition between you two for the next months. 
 His favorite moment with you by far was when the two of you had been drinking and you allowed him to come into your bed. Now, not in THAT way. You didn’t like how he had been sleeping on the ground whenever you spent the night in a tavern so you told him to just sleep in the bed with you. It had been an awkward fit at first due to his taller frame. His long limbs were cramped painfully so you let him wrap his arms carefully around your body. Both of you take in and are intoxicated by the other’s warmth. He could get used to the way you faced him and nuzzled your face into his neck. He had fallen asleep and had the most wonderful rest for the first time in a while. 
After the two of you woke up and cuddled in the morning, “Should the day ever come where we are not together, you will continue to shine like gold in my memories” he had smiled and gently taken your hand into his own as he brushed his lips softly against your knuckles. His words and soft actions prompting a light blush across your face. 
He didn’t know how much longer he could wait for you. Every moment he was with you, but not truly in the way he desired wound him up more and more. He knew he would snap very soon. 
- - - 
You tremble against the cold breeze and his warm touch as he leans closer to you and captures your warm lips with his own in a passionate kiss. His hands traveling down further onto your flushed skin. 
Now that you were his in an unbreakable bond, he finally felt at ease. With you, Zhongli felt at home for the first time in thousands of years. He would protect you from any and all threats. If it meant keeping you safe with him, then he would tear apart all of Teyvat. After all, you belonged to this archon now. 
As the sun begins to rise, you notice the dying light within the parlor, fading candles leaving behind a darker atmosphere. A perfect metaphor you think, if he kept touching you like this then you knew that your own resolve would also die out, completely accepting the ownership that he had over you. 
Zhongli notices your wandering gaze before he takes your face between his slender fingers and forces you to look up at him. “Perhaps you’ve forgotten how much you mean to me. Let me remind you,” he announces as he lifts you up and brings you towards his room. Indeed, he would be spending the next few hours reminding you of his love, before you embark on the next chapter of your lives together, courtesy of his subclause turning you into an adeptus in addition to being his wife forever more. He had all the time in the world to get you to comply and love him as dearly as he loves you.
a/n why am I so in love with this man 🧎‍♀️
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honey-milk-depresso · 3 years
Text
Meanie (Azul Ashengrotto x Reader)
SORRY TWST COMMUNTITY TRYING TO GET AS MANY DRAFT ELIMINATED AS POSSIBLE SORRY FOR BLASTING SHIT IN YOUR FACE BUT LIKE HOPE YOU ENJOY PLEASE DON’T KILL ME-
Based on a manga I think you know when you read it-
I suck I know-
Warning: Slight under aged drinking but it’s purely fluff, nothing serious.
Part 1
part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8 (END)
“Sevens, y/n. What do you want?”
“A hang out! At the VIP room!”
“You know how much that’s going to cost you right? You don’t have much on you.”
“Yeah, yeah I know but, I spend it on my friend!”
“You’re paying me.”
“Exactly!”
Azul sighed in irritation. He can never get enough of you, can he?
“Fine.”
“YES!! I’ll bring some things along!”
=====================================================
“You got to be kidding me..”
Lying on the table, there were an assortment of chips, soft drinks, sweet snacks and to top it all off, a bottle of plum wine.
“Y/n, you shouldn’t be drinking. You’re under aged.”
You laughed heartily. “Don’t worry! It’s only once in a while! Besides, I really like plum wine! I’m not drinking it for the sake of looking cool! Ahehehe~!”
He sighed, putting his hat and jacket suit by the table and plopping himself on the couch, leaving him with his white collared shirt with his sleeves rolled up and pants.
He cringed slightly as all the snacks were unhealthy.
“Couldn’t you have bring snacks of healthier options?”
“Azul, you should treat yourself every once in a while. Being healthy is good, but you can eat junk just once! Besides, it’s a happy occasion!”
“You do this at least twice a week.”
“Not at night or with snacks.”
“True..”
He saw you stuff chips in your mouth in one goal, like a rapid animal.
“Geez, y/n eat slowly. You might choke.”
“Awww, does Azul care for me~?”
“I don’t want a dead body filled with chips in the VIP lounge.”
“So mean!!”
He smiled a little. Your outgoing and cheerful attitude annoyed him at times, but he still couldn’t help but smile at how endearing you could be.
“Geez, you eat like it’s the end of your world.”
Ah.
You took out a pack of poker cards and slam it on the table.
“LET’S PLAY!”
“SEVENS, Y/N! JUST PUT IT DOWN LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN AND NOT TREAT YOUR CARDS LIKE A HAMMER-”
“Well geez, sorry.”
You took the cards out and began shuffling them, clearing the snacks to one side and spreading the cards in a circle.
“Alright, the rules are simple: You can’t quit in the middle!”
“Well, obviously.”
You had always bring about weird games to play. Like the time you played with 2 chess boards for no reason. One to play chess and one to play checkers, then if you get to take one chess or checker piece away, you had to do math question on your assignment, both of which you lost, and had to do the homework yourself. So this isn’t new to him. Maybe you’ll pull out your magic history homework.
“Alright just pick a card!”
“I got the twelve of spades.”
“HAH! QUEEN OF HEARTS!!”
“You don’t have to yell.”
“Now, since I have the larger number, I’ll ask you truth or dare!”
“So, truth or dare??”
“Truth.”
“So~ Do you think Idia or Jade is more handsome to you?~”
He nearly spit out the canned grape juice he was drinking.
“W-what type of question is that?!”
“Those are the rules! If you don’t want to answer a question you pick “dare”! And with “dare”, I’ll make you do something and you can’t quit or complain!”
This is the game of the devil, he thought. What is worse? Answering your ridiculous question or doing you ridiculous “dare”?
Screw it. Better answer than do it, right?
“I’ll stick with truth...”
“Okay! So.. Idia or Jade is handsome to you??”
“......Idia..?”
“Oooh, really ? I thought Jade was pretty handsome himself though. Ah well!”
For some reason, he felt a little irritated when you said Jade was handsome.
“Moving along!”
You two pick your cards.
“Hmm~ five of diamonds? I got twelve of clovers!~~”
“Oh goodness..”
How is he having this much of bad luck today? He’s thinking you shuffled the cards in your favor.
A little flustered due to the plum wine, you slurred a little with the next question.
“Truth or dare??”
“Truth.”
“If Idia was a girl, and she’d be the prettiest girl in NRC, and everyone else are girls, where would I be ranked in looks?”
“What?”
“ANSWER MEEEE~”
“Second.”
“H-heh???” Now you were very flustered.
“So I am pretty to you??? Aww you’re so sweet, Azul!!”
“That’s because I can never imagine NRC being a girls’ school.”
“I-”
=====================================================
“Huh??? Aw man I got two of spades!”
“Twelve of hearts.”
“Oh no..”
Well looks like the tables have finally turned. 
After answering your many ridiculous dares, it’s finally his turn. By now he can tell you’re very drunk. You weren’t think straight and you were slurring and getting flustered a lot.
“Truth or dare.”
“TRUTH!”
He paused to think for a while on what he wanted to ask you.
“Have you ever had a first kiss?”
“HuH?? WHAT? ”
“Silence fool.”
“MEANIE!!”
“But... No I haven’t. Wonder who would wanna kiss me~~?”
“Your lips would reek plum wine, I don’t think anyone would.”
“HEY AZULLL I THOUGHT WE WERE FREINDSSS!!!”
He smiled.
“I’m just joking.”
=============================================================
“Hehehehe~ Truth or dare??~~”
“...dare.”
He said hesitantly. It’s been what? 9 to 11 rounds already and you only had truths, while you complained all his questions were like job interview questions.
“Ohohoho~ Well then,” you spread your arms open, “carry meee to beddd~~”
He blanked. His face was unreadable.
“Hey! Carry-”
Suddenly, you felt your entire body being lifted from the couch. Azul was carrying you bridal style close to his chest. You felt his steady heartbeat and you couldn’t help but blush at the sudden contact.
He went over to the secret guest bedroom and plopped you down on the bed.
“I’ll make sure you’ll go back to Ramshackle tomorrow. It’s a weekend anyways.”
You buried your face in your hands as you squirmed, giggling.
“Ehehehehe~~ That really surprised me! Thank you, Azul!~~”
“Okay, Azul! Pick a card for me.”
“It’s getting very late.”
“But like what you said tomorrow is the weekend!!!!”
“Still. You should be sleeping.”
“Okay! One last dare! I promise!”
He sighed. “Fine.”
He picked a card.
“What did I get??”
“King of Spades.”
“Oooh~ What did you get???”
He picked a card. “Three clovers.”
“Hmmm~ My turn then! This one would be truth only!”
You paused and he heard the blankets being ruffled as you shifted to a different position.
“If I said.. I was really scared of dying, what would you do?”
He swerved his head to look at you, his eyes scanning you.
You were completely calm that it scared him.
“Nonsense, you aren’t going to die.”
Right?
“Aheheheh~ Well I’m super tired! You should go to sleep too!”
He off the lights, the only light shining now was the lamp beside your bed on the night stand.
“Call me when you wake up. I’ll be in my room.”
“Got it~!”
And he closed the door.
To be continued..
=========================
HEYA FOLKS WANT ME TO DO PART 2??? Just reblog or request I don’t know I-
I died.
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(I wrote this at 2am last night and left it to chill in my drafts don't hate me I was half asleep but here's what my brain cooked up for me 😌)
(Also english is my 2nd language and I'm not good at writing)
Ok hear me out..
What if..
Jinho was a spoiled kid. He was an only child and his parents loved him dearly and would never say 'no' to him. He was a very smart kid who got praised a lot for it. On the other hand however he was quite problematic. He liked to have control over the kids in his school. He was too stubborn and would immediately start bawling, making everybody stare when something doesn't go his way. People would would tell his parents often things like "ain't your child overreacting a little?" or "can't you teach your child some patience?" with a fake smile and an obvious hint of annoyance in their tone. They'd always answer nonchalantly saying "aren't all children like that" followed by them pointing out a flaw like appearance in the other child guilt tripping the parent into thinking that they're inattentive, while some are immune to such tactics most people disregard them due to their ignorance being a hopeless case. Unaware of what's being deep-rooted in their child's mind.
Around the age of fourteen, Jinho is asleep in his room while his parents are out grocery shopping on a normal day only to wake up to the news of their death in a tragic car accident. Fortunately, he had a tremendously loving grandma who was devastated to hear the news of his parents and straight away took him in with a big heart. While jinho was surprised yet apathetic. His grandma was a teacher. Therefore she was extremely busy barely able to see her grandson at lunch. She had trust in him believing that he was a 'grown man' who can take care of himself while he was out there developing extreme anger issues due to his failure inaddition to the stress a normal teen suffers from thinking of his future. He thought to himself 'Why am I not as good as before?', 'I used to be the smartest, always on the top!'
Later on, his grandma got sick due to exhaustion, staying at a hospital. She was one to take extra duties to help her colleagues who were facing hard circumstances, someone who was very understanding which led her to live happily surrounded by many who admire her. Many of the school staff and students visited her daily giving her gifts and keeping her company. Except for one. Jinho never visited. She felt like it was her time.. asking the nurse to call him so she can see him in her last days. However he never answered. After a week she passed away. (MY EYES ARE SWEATING:'(( )
Where was he? Apparently, everybody at his school was quite uncomfortable of the aura he had not to mention him blackmailing anyone who bothers him. On the first day of his senior year though a boy confronted him while pissed 'cuz Jinho replaced their papers on the finals causing tge boy to end up with a terrible grade & studying all summer. He knew he would get nothing out of arguing with Jinho but he didn't want to feel like a loser either. What slipped off of his mouth next was something that he instantly regretted. "You cursed your parents into dying"... Jinho smiled widely grabbing a pair of scissors and jabbing it into the boy's hand leaving him to scream in excruciating pain.
Why.. it's not like he ever cared! Perhaps it's just ego.
He gets expelled right away.. the day of his grandma's death.
At the end of the day, the boy had a good laugh at jinho.
If you read this far thank you! I hope you don't hate me right now :) I'm sorry if this was bad. Give feedback if possible!
I split this into 2 parts. I'll post 2nd part later.
(If possible :0)
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youngnari · 4 years
Text
Thicker Than Water // Ten
—Notes : t had been a long while since I started writing anything (pardon if this sucks), and I have a lot of things in my drafts right now that I have to continue. Uni had been overwhelming and recently my internship ended, hopefully I can write more before my next term starts. Overall, enjoy this short scenario I made and have a nice day ahead :)
—Wc : 7831 words
—Warning : honestly, none... I just wanted to write about Ten cause I love Ten, well we all love Ten.
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—Pairing : childhood best-friend!Ten x female!reader 
—Genre : a cup of fluff + a few dashes of angst
—Summary : Two childhood best-friends found it hard to confront their feelings for one another, until they grew apart;
When distance grew and time spent apart, love became stronger. After all, it is thicker than water.
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“I love you, Ten”
Love is thicker than water. Your feelings wouldn’t easily be dissolved even after a few years of not seeing him.
And that’s when you knew, love is true.
Life decisions often come knocking on your door when you least expect them to. They are often buried in the form of steps, growth, and changes.
The life decisions you chose rarely caused any big changes in your life, although you were partially to blame for often wanting to play it too safe. Your life always revolved around the same people, all located in a similar environment. Your so-called childhood best-friend who lived just around the corner of your block, a brief five-minute walk. He played a big role in your life, similarly to your parents. You had known him since you were three, possibly longer; from bathing and swimming together naked in his kiddy pool his parents had set up in his backyard during summer time when you guys were four, to him freaking out when he noticed blood stains on your pajamas pants that you discarded into the laundry basket when you first hit puberty thinking you were dying due to some chronic disease, to the so-called first love and first heartbreak you ever received when you were in high school. The same person was always by your side.
Yes, you had chosen to fall in love with your childhood best-friend. And that was the first time you realized: sometimes the safest choice, isn’t so safe after all.
Cue – Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, more commonly known as Ten.
You have seen Ten when he was doing his best, while Ten has seen you when you are doing your absolute worst. He often got straight A’s, a few A-‘s for Chemistry and Physics, and he was chosen as the lead dancer of the school’s dance team – mastering traditional and modern styles so goddamn well, yet you still thought he was the dumbest kid alive. Ten may be seen by many as the epitome of how every Asian kid should be, molded by their parent since young to be nothing but perfect. Ten was often envied by other parents, they hid it well in the form of praises thrown towards his parents, but they shrugged it off saying Ten always tried to do his best.
They weren’t wrong. You had seen Ten studying until late at night for mid-terms and finals, often resulting in the consumption of an unhealthy amount of energy drinks and coffee as he reached a certain limit. He usually started his homework and projects early to enable freedom in the last few days before the due date, giving him the leisure to not cram things up the night before, but late-night video games. He was simply organized, well prepared, and perfect.
You had known Ten for your entire life, and it didn’t seem like the end of high school would be the end of your friendship. Until one night when he came barging into your room straight from the graduation party his friend Kun had thrown, celebrating freedom as they broke the chain of education by graduating from high school.
You still remembered how your heart skipped a beat when he came in, his lean figure stood elegantly in your door frame. Ten looked at your figure buried under your blanket, your nightstand occupied with snacks and water, laptop on your lap, the screen the main source of light in the dimly lit room. He caught the sound of the actors speaking from your laptop, heavy Spanish and gunshots ringing heavily from the speakers. He smiled knowing you probably rejected Kun’s invitation to settle down at home and binge watch Netflix instead, once again hiding yourself from socializing with people.
He let himself in as his hand closed the door slowly, striding over across the room in large step, he took his seat beside you before snuggling into the blankets to watch the show with you. You swore you felt hot, trying your best to fight the blush creeping across your cheeks. It seemed okay at first, knowing the room was quite dark and the only source of light was from the changing scenes of La Casa de Papel that was playing in your laptop. You thought he might hear your loud heartbeat, yet the sound of gunshots and screaming thankfully covered the sound of the erotic thumps of your heart.
He let out a sigh.
You could smell his musky cologne mixed with a little of his sweat, the stench of alcohol from his breath, the smell of cigarettes from his clothes filling your room. You hummed a little, catching his attention in the process.
“Can you believe we graduated?” He began to speak, giving you a question that similarly went along the line of what now.
You smiled a little and nodded.
“It’s only high school, Ten. We still have a long way to go.” You said.
“No, you still have a long way to go.” He said, his eyes glinting, proud of your achievements in life.
Ten remembered the talk both of you had, the plans you hoped to complete once both of you graduated from high school. You had told him you wanted to pursue studying in engineering or food science, while him – Ten wanted to be an artist, a singer or performer on stage.
He noticed your eyes dim a little and he sighed. His arms circled around your shoulders, bringing your figure closer towards him. You felt his warmth almost immediately, suddenly craving for more and you found yourself scooching towards him. Ten didn’t mind; you had curled up next to each other every movie night since you were young. He felt your head leaning towards him, smelling the hint of vanilla and mint from the shampoo and conditioner you always used. He smiled.
“Are you still not going to tell me who’s the guy you fell for?” He asked you again.
Ten felt your body tense up for a while before slowly loosening up again. You swallowed a lump in your throat as your eyes shook despite trying your best to focus on your laptop screen.
You had told Ten regarding your discovery of love after he kept pestering you to start finding a match, to the point he asked his handful of friends to introduce new people for you and set you up on a blind date. You had yelled at him in frustration, revealing that the reason you didn’t want to find a guy to date was due to you having feelings for someone already. Never once did you explicitly tell him who the person was, in fear that an outcome you didn’t want may occur.
Ten believed in you and respected your privacy, opting to stay silent most of the time. That didn’t keep him from pestering you with questions about the so-called crush, although he didn’t expect you to answer.
“You’re still on about it?” You snapped back. He gave you that annoying grin of his and nodded.
“Are you still in love with that crush of yours then?” He persisted. This time, you smiled knowing he wasn’t going to back down.
“I am, since forever probably.” You answered.
One of the fears you had since you were young was the fear of being rejected; you were sure everyone had a similar fear like yours, deep down inside of them. You weren’t necessarily scared of the rejection; you were more scared of the aftermath from the rejection. You knew Ten liked you, but you weren’t so sure if he wanted you like you wanted him. your refusal to confess stemmed from one of two possible outcomes if you did; one – he accepts you and you start dating, which meant the best of both worlds. Two – you are rejected, resulting both of you drifting apart and becoming strangers despite having a friendship almost reaching two decades.
Ten, your best-friend who recently broke up with his ex-lover. Confessing to him this early would only be a suicidal move. His past lover, whom he broke up a few weeks before graduation. The reasoning behind it was quite simple, none of his lovers liked seeing him with you.
The way he looked at you dotingly, laughed at every dumb joke you gave, the way he tucked loose strands of hair behind your ear, and dropping everything that he was doing to be around you. You were confident to say that you were his number one, and you withstood the pain that came with every one of his relationships.
Because you knew that Ten would always come back to you, back into your arms.
But you are still scared of confessing to him, unaware of what exactly is going on in his mind. You didn’t want to lose Ten just like that, you fear of not having him in your life when you were already so used to seeing him around you, being with him 24/7.
Other than that, you were confused with Ten. He was unpredictable at times: most of the time. You didn’t know if he was giving you hints regarding his approach towards you. Because many told you that he treated you differently from how he treated others, you could see that.
Ten wasn’t so touchy around people he considered friends or close friends, but when it came to you, things from linking arms around one another, hugging in public, cuddling during movie nights, and him giving you a peck on the cheek at random moments. All obvious signs he favored you more compared to others. You carried it like a medal, knowing probably no one could ever replace your spot next to Ten.
But the other thing that bothered you so dearly was that he was your first kiss. Yes, Ten was your first kiss.
Enter: prom night, 3 days after graduation.
Ten ‘proposed’ to you a month before prom, getting you a bouquet of a single sunflower and peperoni pizza with extra cheese from your favorite pizzeria downtown during one of your Netflix marathons. You were surprised by his grand entrance, nevertheless you ignored it due to his unexpected behavior at times. You accepted the flower thinking it was nothing but a gift for your mother and eagerly took the warm pizza from his hands before going into your room. Just as you opened the pizza box, excited to reveal the greasy cheesy goodness from heaven above – you were left in shock, with your eyebrows shooting upwards, eyes widened, and mouth forming an big ‘O’ as you read the note plastered on the lid.
P R O M?
Others may think it was stupid or too cheesy to be considered a good plan; to you it was stupidly cheesy and you loved it. Even though the note was speckled with grease, you kept it to this day. You turned around to give your response, only to be faced with ten kneeling on one knee holding a sunflower corsage sitting comfortably in a clear plastic box surrounded by white baby’s breath, all tied with a black bow on top, his signature wrapping.
You stood there frozen, not knowing how to react to his sudden act. He grinned madly and laughed at your reaction, snapping you out from your trace.
“Is that a yes?” He asked, hopeful.
You laughed and nodded at him, knowing you would rather go to prom alone if it wasn’t with Ten.
“Great, I was scared you had a date with your crush.” Ten joked.
You thought about your answer for a while. You didn’t necessarily have anyone in mind to ask out as your prom date, as the only person who always came to mind was none other than Ten himself. You rejected a few people who came and asked you out, stating you had someone in mind as you looked at them sadly.
Ten on the other hand was the same, he didn’t have anyone in mind but you. Thinking to himself it was better to spend prom with someone who truly meant something to him rather than a random person he didn’t even know.
Hence, the proposal for prom.
“I think my crush has a date already, so it’s fine.” You shrugged off coolly. Ten smiled at you and nodded, relieved by the answer before he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
“Aren’t you sad that another person is their partner for prom?” He asked again, this time curious.
“A little, but I feel like I don’t stand a chance with him.” You said, smiling sheepishly at the end.
“Then, we’ll show him what he’s missing out on then.” Ten stated proudly as he sent a wink towards you.
You smiled softly at him and nodded. He’s not going to miss out on much, you thought, losing your train of thought as Ten buried himself under your blanket, urging you to hurry up.
Prom rolled out faster than you expected it to. One morning you woke up in your old t-shirt and oversized loose cotton pants, lazing out in your bed till late afternoon. The next, you were up, showered and off to do your hair, pick up your prom dress, and pamper yourself for the whole day.
The once loose old t-shirt and oversized long cotton pants changed to an elegant long black dress which hugged your curves and showed off your figure. Your once messy hair was styled and smelled amazing, a simple long gold necklace draped across your collar bones, and the most dreaded part: the heels.
At 8PM sharp you heard the doorbell ring, signaling Ten’s arrival.
He came in looking like a prince. Ten was dressed in a black dress shirt, paired with formal pants that enhanced his long legs, his neck constricted with a black tie, it seemed like he was glowing under the dark fabric. You held your breath, noticing him grow more charming the more you laid your eyes at him.
Ten smiled when he saw your figure from the top of the stairs, reaching out a hand for you to take. Slowly you went down like the girls you often see in the cliché romcom series, taking his hand that was fully extended towards you.
Instantly you felt the rush of electricity, the warm skin embracing your cold hands. It felt right.
“You look amazing.” He said, smiling giddily like a child.
“And so do you.” You said back.
He slowly took out the corsage, slipping it on your wrist. You stared in awe at the contrast of the bright yellow flora wrapped around your wrist with a black ribbon between the black clothing you wore. You did the same for him, taking his part of the corsage and pinning it on the pocket near his chest, giving a bigger contrast against his pale skin and his black formal.
It seemed surreal but that night, you thought both of you were meant to be.
“Ready?” he asked.
You smiled, linking your arm with his as you hug his figure close to yours, wanting nothing but to savor the moment between the both of you.
That night, it was the first time you felt fairytales could be translated into real life.
It took you approximately two hours for your feet to completely die on you. You sat down on the row of empty chairs beside the long table filled with glorious food, a red cup of artificially flavored punch in your hand. You played around with it, occasionally your head bopped around to the music being played.
When the lights suddenly dimmed, you raised your head upwards to meet Ten’s. His forehead gleamed with sweat, hair disheveled, yet he ginned wider like nothing mattered.
“One last dance?” He asked, his hand extending for an invite, encouraging you to take it.
You knew your feet were dead, pierced under the heels. Yet you still smiled like it was nothing, nodding and taking his hand. He pulled you further into the crowd, taking your figure into his embrace. He turned around when he found a space, instinctively his hands circled around your waist. You could feel the warmth that radiated from his hand, the blast of the AC was nothing compared to his touch. You returned his grin with a smile, your hand circling around his neck.
That was enough for Ten to know you were comfortable, pulling you closer to him, closing the gap in between. Your eyes fluttered shut, your heart beating rapidly, seemingly wanting to break free from your ribcages and attack Ten. You smiled to yourself, fairytales can be real.
“I’ll get you Shake Shack if you let me in that head of yours.” You snapped your eyes open, looking at Ten’s gleaming ones.
“My thoughts are worth more than Shake Shack.” You snapped at him, he laughed.
“You’re thinking about that crush of yours?” He asked, tone soft as he gazed at you sadly.
“No.” you said without much thought.
“No?”
“My crush isn’t here” You lied. Ten hummed, nodding at your answer.
“Are you sad that your crush isn’t here?” He asked again. You shook your head, giving him a smile.
Ten leaned closer towards you. Your heart drummed to the point you could barely hear the music booming on the speakers, or the crowd chattering to oblivion. You closed your eyes, anticipating what he might do after. He placed a delicate kiss on your forehead, sighing silently at the end. You never knew what the meaning behind that sigh was, whether it was good or bad.
When he pulled away, Ten seemed fine. There weren’t any hidden emotions being spilled, there was only a wide goofy grin plastered on his feature. You had your hope in him confessing, but it seemed unlikely knowing Ten probably saw you as nothing but a dear friend.
It didn’t take him too long to snap out of his own world, pulling you away from the crowd towards the cool midnight air.
“Where are we going?” You blurted out.
Ten turned his head to face you, feet still pacing towards his parked car. His eyes squinted at yours, eyebrows furrowed. You knew he was silently judging you, especially since Ten was never a master in concealing his expressions.
“Midnight drive.”
You remembered the silence of the road during that ungodly late hour. No traffic jams, smooth ride, it went well. The night was dark, the only given light from the moon. You often found yourself glancing at Ten, amazed by his features.
You felt the car halt during a red light, its man-made neon lights flashing across his face, sculpting his features. You gazed in admiration at the result, thinking that he could be an exhibit displayed in an art museum.
“Stop staring or I’ll poke your eyes out.” He said. You turned away instantly, acted as if you weren’t ogling him.
Ten laughed at your behavior, he said nothing and proceeded to drive. He made a turn, and you found yourself in the drive-thru of McDonalds. It was still Prom and having McDonalds with a flashy tux and a bedazzled dress was a perfect way to end it.
Then Ten parked his car alongside the river, letting you eat whilst staring at the breathtaking view; you couldn’t ask for more. He rolled down the window and turned off the engine. You could feel the harsh rumble slowed down to nothing, allowing the soft rippling of the waves to replace it. Ten rummaged through the paper bag, taking out the food. He passed you your order and you quickly munched on one of the fries. Ten opened his mouth, making some random sounds to get your attention. You took one of the fries and put it in his gaping mouth. He hummed in satisfaction.
“I want the Mcflurry!” You demanded
Ten rolled his eyes at you but still he complied, giving you the dessert. You smiled at the melting dessert, taking a fry and dipping it inside the cup. You moaned at the taste; how you loved the contrasting taste of salty with the sweetness.
“Give me one!” Ten stated. You nodded, scooping some of the sweet flurry on the fry. Passing it to Ten, you could only hope it didn’t spill anywhere. You felt a little of it drip on your hand, yet you paid no attention towards it. Ten bit down and chewed.
You were about to pull your hand away and wipe the spilled ice cream, but Ten held you in place. Taking your hand in his, he latched his lips on your hand. You could feel him giving little kitten licks, cleaning the marked area. You felt yourself grow hot, blushing at the sudden intimacy from him. When Ten raised his head, he noticed the color of your face turning a few shades of pink and smiled to himself.
“Are you flustered?” He asked
You wanted to slap him. Before you could do much, you felt his grip on your wrist tighten. Ten pulled you closer towards him, the impact enough to send you toppling towards him. You yelped in surprised, Ten smiling at your confused state.
Both of your faces were inches from one another, just one nudge was enough to send your lips flying towards his. You felt your face grow hotter; his smirk prominent on his face. You knew Ten was doing nothing but tease, but a small part of you did hope he would lean forward. You saw the glint of mischief glimmer in his pupils, his hot breaths hitting your cheeks, but he was still as composed as ever.
“Did you expect anything?” He asked with a smirk on his face.
“Screw you, Ten.” You hissed out, stumbling on your words.
He let out a small chuckle, amused by your choice of comeback. Ten leaned forwards, finally closing the gap in between. You felt your heart leap when his lips touched yours, delicate at first before it became more needy. You sighed a little into the kiss, it was enough for Ten to continue. He pressed himself towards you, deepening the kiss. When he pulled away, he stared at you in awe. Your hazy eyes and your flustered face, accompanied by your whole body gasping for air, he thought you looked breathtaking.
He licked his lips, tasting the artificial cherry lip gloss you wore. He hummed in content, bliss even.
The next thing happened in a snap. The words that you always kept to yourself, never once slipping out. They were always deep inside, locked in a chest, key thrown into oblivion. In a snap, everything stumbled out without your control.
“I love you, Ten” And his eyes widen by your confession.
***
That happened 2 years ago.
You had always been safe in your life choices, in hope to ensure the safest outcome in the future. You tried your best to succeed in school, got into a decent college, and managed to find an average part time job as a librarian on your campus ground. You had thought if you choose your path wisely, it was easier for you to survive in life.
Ten proved you wrong.
You had always thought falling for Ten would eventually lead you to another stage in life, to finally settle down. You envisioned him not only as your life-long best friend, but also had the hope to be a potential lover.
You loved Ten, truly. But he made you realize that sometimes the safest decisions weren’t so safe after all.
After Prom, he drove you back home without a second thought. He walked you to the door, let you settle in the house before leaving. You had thoughts that Ten might leave you after the whole kiss situation, but he didn’t.
The next morning, he texted you again, to check up if you were feeling okay or up for another day out. You remembered declining, stating you were too tired from coming back so late – which was true. It was still fine, perfect.
You had always thought Ten would realize how head over heels you were for him. It seemed impossible for anyone to be that dense, moreover he was always there around you. You remembered smiling rigidly when you noticed his expression.
His eyes widened; mouth slightly agape like a fish on the surface. You felt his hands shake a little, you felt it on your skin. Ten stuttered out his words, stumbling here and there not being able to fully form a complete sentence.
You had never seen him like that.
Ten called you the next morning, and you still had your hopes for your feelings to be reciprocated. Instead, he only replied you with—
“I am sorry, for everything. It was the heat of the moment, I got carried away”
You didn’t know what hurt more. A rejection; it was cruel, and it hurt, but you knew Ten wouldn’t lie to you even if his life depended on it. Or the fact he disappeared straight after; Ten wasn’t there the next time you tried to contact him, no calls, no texts, nothing.
You knew Ten’s dreams; he spoke about them countless time during your high school days. He wanted to perform in front of thousands, to show his passion and love for his art. You supported him; you knew his potential.
You had seen him practicing, dancing and singing till late at night. Often mad at him for not taking care of himself, being that friend who helped him to pass all his subjects, to a mother who always brought him meds and food to ensure he was eating well.
You cared for Ten, too much sometimes.
The moment he told you he didn’t want to go to university, you didn’t know how to react. Ten brushed your expression off and stated that going to university together or not, he would still be the same Ten you know and grew up with.
He didn’t keep his promise.
You cried a few times, feeling lost for the sudden loss in your life. You heard from your parents that you would meet people like Ten once you entered university; you wanted to believe them. They meant no harm, not wanting to see you cry. But you knew you couldn’t possibly believe every word they said.
Ten was one of a kind, and you still loved him.
Each day dragged on longer than before. You had never felt the overwhelming emptiness, the lack of notifications from him. It felt empty.
You had never felt the loss and emptiness, until you felt him slip out of your life.
He left no traces. His room still the same, sheets still tucked neatly. But his scent was weak, it wasn’t him. It took you quite a while before you could finally accept his absence in your life, Ten had his own life now.
Yet, even after all of that—you were still in love with him.
It was another typical day for you. Finishing classes on campus you ran to the library to start your shift. You went to check your attendance on the board and proceeded to the main desk to settle down. You sighed a little, calming down your racing heart from the small sprint you did.
You took one of the books on the desk, looking at the books to be returned and due for the day. You hummed in acknowledgement before placing it back down. Taking your laptop and papers from earlier lectures, you started doing your own work. It was a few hours of silence in the library. People came and went, coming up to ask for books, information, or just to return and borrow books for the remaining days. It wasn’t a hassle, as in only took you a short while to complete each task, then you were back doing your work once again.
It was a few minutes to closing time. You started packing up your things, putting each chair back in its original position, checking the remaining books that had been returned for the day or for any remaining people who were still roaming around the area. You were about to switch off the power and call it a day until the door opened, calling for your attention. You lifted your head to confront the new incomer, slightly annoyed to see people still dared to come in despite it was already closing time.
“I’m sorry, the library is closed for the—” You halted. It was as if the words stopped forming, your voice stopped functioning.
The familiar figure who had been beside you your entire life. From when he was a literal infant, growing to a rowdy teenager, and now a grown man. He remained the same, only a few changes. His skin was still as pale as ever, a real-life interpretation of Snow White. His dark locks and orbs, the pair of eyes you would let yourself get drawn into. You noticed he was a little skinnier, his eyes a little sunken. But his smile, his smile was still as bright as ever.
“T-Ten” You stuttered his name. Feeling odd by the sudden familiar yet unfamiliar name that had to roll out of your tongue.
“I’m back, love” Your heart swooned.
***
You bit down on the fries, feeling the familiar taste of salt hitting your taste buds. You sighed in bliss, knowing this was all you need after ending your campus and work life.
You turned your head, looking at Ten who was still rummaging through the paper bag for his designated order. He pulled out a burger, unwrapped it, and dug in. You chuckled a little at his hunger, especially when he left out a small moan.
“Did they not feed you?” You laughed.
Ten tried not to talk, chewing faster to swallow and answer your question.
“I had to go through a diet woman, let me enjoy the love of my life.” He said.
You were back at the same place after prom two years ago. In his car, takeout on both of your laps. The only thing that made it different was where the takeout was from. Instead of going through Mcdonalds, Ten got both of you Shake Shack. The promise he made two years ago but was never fulfilled because he was a broke high schooler.
You dipped the fries in one of your milkshakes, munching and groaning in bliss. Ten opened his mouth, whining a little to gain your attention. Like usual, you dipped the salty grease in the sweet dairy, delivering it to his mouth.
“How’s life now?” You asked him. His hand offered out the bitten burger in his hand and you took it, taking bites from it as you waited for him to answer.
“It was hard. But I survived, I’m here.” He said, laughing in the process.
There was a small moment of silence, neither of you spoke. You took small sips from your milkshake while Ten was munching away on his burger. You kept on glancing at Ten, a distant gaze in your eyes. There were a lot of questions in your mind, still spinning and left unanswered. Ten noticed the glances you threw at him, noticed how you gazed upon him with concern and curiosity, but also fear as if he might disintegrate once your eyes leave him.
“Are you staying?” You asked. Ten stopped, ears ringing a little.
You didn’t hear from him for a moment. Nervously, he would divert his attention from his food towards the view. He cleared his throat, looking at you a little before placing his unfinished food back in the paper bag.
“Let’s… go to your place. Netflix like usual?” He said.
You froze, not knowing how to process the whole situation. Lost without much thought, you mindlessly nodded at him. Just like that, he pulled back and drove to your apartment. Ten followed the GPS as it led him further into your neighborhood. You had no idea what was running through his mind, his facial expressions impossible to read, consumed in his deep thoughts.
Ten never realized how two years could change someone so drastically. You were out from your parents’ house, renting a decent apartment near your campus, filling your empty time with part time jobs. He had seen the way you interacted with people, the way you would smile or sometimes joke with them caught him off guard. Especially since he knew how socially awkward and shy you used to be with strangers; he found it amusing.
When you unlocked the door, opening it wide to welcome him into your personal space, Ten silently went in. You rushed to the kitchen and took a glass of water, gulping it down to quench the dryness of your throat. Ten helped himself, taking a new glass and filled it. You directed him towards your room, taking the historical laptop you’ve had since high school, allowing him to start the show as you washed up.
Ten heard the small noise from the closing door. His eyes glued at your retreating figure, sighing when he saw you being swallowed by the other room.
He hadn’t meant to ignore and go missing, he had dreams. Ten would always feel guilty for suddenly disappearing without any context, it was all due to his own contract within his company. Ten had spent the last few years locked up, practicing in order to achieve his dreams of becoming a successful performer. Other than that, Ten’s mind wandered towards you.
He thought about the kiss.
Remembering every single luscious moment of it, playing in his mind like a broken record. He still felt his heart beating like crazy, thinking he lost his chances when you exposed your crush around him but never once telling him who the crush was. He thought it was a stage in life where he was losing you, seeing you slip away between his fingertips. Hence, he restrained. Ten opted to be more cautious around you, fearing his attachment might go wilder.
The growing distance taught him a lot of things. How much more capable you were in life, how you were okay without him in your life. He thought he didn’t have the chance, he lost you during the process.
Ten was in love with his best-friend, with you, since forever.
He had his fair share of stages when he fell in love. The problem was he failed to realize that he had already been in love with you since you were young. Ten was in denial, opting to run away from you. Thinking how impossible it was to fall for his own best-friend, someone who was always there, and someone who was always there to look after him despite how he came back into your life so abruptly.
Ten ran away. He thought if he dated someone else, the feeling would go away. He thought wrong.
Every single person he dated had been nothing but odd. They never gave him the same joy, rush of adrenaline whenever he was around you. Their touch felt foreign on his skin, he found himself wanting to feel your touch on him forever, longing for it every time you pulled away from him. He didn’t feel butterflies from his given nicknames from his past ex-lovers, but the butterflies swarmed him when you called him an idiot or plainly by his name. You had made him crazy, and he wasn’t hating you for it.
Ten was in love, but he was scared to admit it. He opted to run away, thinking the feelings would go away eventually. He thought it was simple, he was only too attached to you, to the point he could only think about you. He went missing, gone without giving any news of his departure towards you.
But the more he ran, the more he felt the longing feelings reaching out towards you. Wanting nothing but to be enveloped in your embrace, dumb conversations late at night, random movie nights till dawn. But he also had the idea of having you as his partner, his lover, his partner in crime, his everything. He wanted you in his life, yet he feared losing you might be easier if it happened.
The growing distance only made him want you more, miss you more. He noticed love wasn’t so simple, it wasn’t easy to get rid of. Unlike water where you can wipe it off without leaving any stain—love, is thicker than water.
“Hey.” He called out when you walked out of the bathroom, hair damp from your shower. You perked up at his voice, snapping your head towards him, fully giving him your attention.
“Let’s hang out after your class, tomorrow.” Ten stated, or more like demanded. You nodded.
A month since you last saw him, Ten started entering your life once again. He made it seem like nothing ever happened, as if the two years was nothing but a short two weeks break.
Ten didn’t show you any sign of awkwardness or hesitation, he straight up jumped right in.
It was becoming more frequent. Meeting him after class or after work, getting dinner together, him accompanying you during tests weeks, bringing you coffee or sending you off to campus in the morning.
Desperation, exhaustion, and longing.
He felt as if he was always there, as if he never had left. But that two-year gap would never be filled. It was an endless void, consuming both of you, testing you, and pushing both of you to see who would break first.
Both of you broke at the same time.
“Was it really the heat of the moment that led you to kiss me?” You started the conversation. He had brought you to the nearest coffee shop in hopes of accompanying you in finishing your assignment. You, on the other hand, had other things in mind than the given project.
It had bugged you the moment Ten came back, the moment he came into your life once again as if he was never away.
You took your eyes away from your laptop, gazing at Ten who was avoiding your gaze. His eyes wandered around the small café, memorizing the minimal interior, enjoying the warm vibe the space portrayed, then he finally rested his eyes on yours.
“No.” He said.
“You lied.” You said. For the first time in his life, Ten lied to you.
Ten smiled sheepishly, shaking his head a little, amused by your unending questions. You waited for his answer, patiently you waited for him to speak first, continuing to type away on your laptop.
“I’m sorry for disappearing.” Ten spoke out. You hummed at his answer, letting him know none of it mattered. You were more than ecstatic seeing him back, those two years was erased or seemed like they ceased to exist.
“Were you afraid of something, Ten?” You asked him again. Ten didn’t voice out his answer, but from the look of shock in his eyes, you knew.
“It’s me.” You said as your eyes gazed at him sadly.
Ten felt his heart hammer, how it plummeted when he noticed the hurt in your eyes. He groaned internally; everything, it was all his fault.
“You were running away from me.” You stated. Ten didn’t answer, he swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling how dry it had gotten.
“You knew, I like you. That I’m in love with you.” You said. He winced at the confession, felt the desperation in your voice as you spoke.
“I love you, Y/N. I love you but I was scared.” He whispered out, soft and only audible towards you.
You abruptly stood up, taking all your belongings into your hand. Hugging all of them desperately, struggling to fit them all in the small space of your arms. You rushed your movements, dashing out of the café, you were sure you probably had made a scene, especially with Ten running out straight after to catch you.
“Listen, please.” He said desperately, heart drumming louder in fear.
You pulled away from him, causing your books and papers to fly out of your hands and land on the ground. You crouched down quickly, stuffing them sloppily into your bag. You knew Ten was still there, crouched to help you gather your stuff. You could feel his gaze run around from the ground to you, most likely with concern and fear.
“I’m sorry.” You snapped your head upwards and look at him.
Ten could feel his heart shatter. The red eyes, puffy and ready to cry, your whole body was already shaking due to the rush of emotions and adrenaline. The mixed-up feelings and longing were consuming you, never had you felt alone in a room filled with people, where all eyes were trained on you and Ten.
“Cut the crap, Ten.” You hissed out, tears streaming down your face, dropping to the ground.
“I should’ve told you—”
“You should’ve stayed! You left me, alone for two years without telling! Two years, Ten!” You snapped, feeling the tears flow down. One then another, it was a continuum by now.
“I was selfish, I didn’t know what was going through my mind. I’m truly sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt—”
“Ten.” You choked out, stopping him abruptly.
“Why?” He asked. You looked at him, confused.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you like me?” He asked again. You shook your head a little, a little in disbelief at his pushy behaviour by now.
“Because of you!” You snapped out and ran.
You didn’t care if Ten was tailing you from behind, trying to stop you. All you wanted was to run away from him, be alone for once. Ten didn’t have the right to pry into your life, not knowing how much you had sacrificed for him, and he decided to come back as if nothing even mattered.
His calls and texts were constant, coming into your phone with no end. You were bombarded with his spams, words of concern, plead for forgiveness, everything. You shunned away from Ten, afraid to meet him after the whole incident, fearing you might hate him if you did see him once again.
It took him another month before he showed up, on your front door of your apartment. You had the thought of him barging in, like those scenes from romcom movies where the guy fight for the girls’ love. Instead, Ten had his hands on the spare keys you gave him when he came back, easily slipping in without making any damage. Like the night after graduation, he stood around the doorframe elegantly. Tall and lean figure leaning on the sleek wood, eyes piercing around yours, lips pressed into a thin line as he was unsure of his next act.
“Do you want to get lunch?” He asked. You could hear his voice shake, causing it to come out like a mere whisper.
You wanted to throw him off, lock yourself further into your apartment, you did none of those. Instead you gave him a simple nod, and that was enough for him to pull you out of your own bubble once again.
***
“A rebound.” You said.
Your gaze rested on your food in your hand, playing with it with your utensils as you listened to his blabbering. Ten sighed a little and shook his head softly, both finding it hard to eat. He brought takeout once again, both of you locked in his car facing the Han river once again, but in broad daylight with his AC blasting.
“I didn’t want you to be a rebound, I was confused.” He said.
“I thought it was impossible if I fell in love with my own best-friend, you were there since…everything! And I thought if we did date, things will fell and I will lose you far easily!”
“Have you ever thought what I wanted?” You asked him, turning your body to face his direction. Ten swallowed a lump on his throat, shakes his head a little.
“Ten, I love you. I still do and that night I thought we had something.”
“I was scared, I was a coward. I didn’t realise that I’ve been in love with you for so long, and I chose not to acknowledge it!” He said, frustrated at this point. You stayed silent, listening to him this time.
“I thought liking you wasn’t going to work out, it scared me. And I chose to run away dating these people I don’t even feel much, thinking that my feelings will change. But oh wow, you are so fucking addicting.” He groaned; a hand ran up his face to his hair in frustration.
“You got me crazy, thirsting for you every single time you weren’t there. Everything wasn’t the same without you around me, Y/N. I came to realise that all too late.” You smiled a little.
Ten caught that small grin of yours, not knowing fully if it’s a bad or good reaction. Your smile widens more, breaking into a Cheshire grin and then you proceeded to laugh. At this rate, Ten was either scared or confused, but he waited patiently until you finished.
“I guess that two years long break was enough for us to clear our mind up” You stated.
Ten didn’t say much first, thinking about it for a while. When he caught the small gaze you direct at him, he knew he had to say something.
“Like what people said, distance makes the heart grows fonder. They weren’t wrong, it was odd not having you around me, and it made me realise a lot of things.” He said.
“And what are those things?”
“That no one can replace you, that you will be that only person I’ll truly love and long for.” Ten said, softly gaze upon you.
Two years. As distance grow and both of you grew older, maturing into adults, those were enough to make both of you realise how despite distance can change a lot of things, both still longs for the similar person. The touch they had lingering around, the smile that will light up your day, the voice which rang around your ears, the name that was enough to give you a surge of butterflies.
The growing time and distance weren’t enough to pull both of your feelings away. He kissed you that day, with meaning. Soft and delicate, afraid he might break you if he put more pressure. You could feel his tears running from his eyes, knowing too well he was tired, emotionally drained. You smiled in the kiss, pulled him in for more, wanting more. You loved him, he loved you.
And for the first time, both of you thought the whole world revolves around you. That was enough to make things official.
Two years, as time passed and distance grew.
Both of your feelings still remained the same, after all love is thicker than water.
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Text
CURSED: CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“Knocking on Heaven’s Door”
Kai Parker x OC!Mack Grace
Series synopsis: "We're both cursed, in a way."
We all know the story of Kai Parker, but he once lived in a very different life. Do you ever wonder what that life looked like?
Chapter summary: Kai realised he fucked, Mack isn’t so willing to forgive him, Joshua is a shading little shit
Warnings: swearing, slight violence, arguing, mention of drug use (or misuse I guess)
Masterlist | series Masterlist
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Kai’s affection didn't last long, the second the announcement was over he released Mack's hand with such haste you'd think it'd burnt him. Kai was quick to ignore his girlfriend - looking straight ahead and following the Police with his eyes as they made their way out of the room - but not before announcing they would be questioning certain individuals.
This put Mack's stress on overdrive, knowing that they'd find out that she killed him and that Kai helped destroy the body and they'd both go to prison. The girl shuddered at the thought of the cold, dingy cells; the cool metal bars that would not doubt be lathered in a layer of thick rust; the grumpy, disgruntled guards; and lastly, the inmates - the ones who had done awful things, much more so than she had than her, or even worse, the ones she outdid.
Mack visibly shook, a chill tickling along her spine as the thoughts encased her mind in a state of anxiousness. She hardly noticed the police had left until the jabbing of the bell pierced her ears, bringing Mack back to her senses as she scrambled to her feet. What she'd also failed to notice was that Kai was no longer in the class, having snuck out when he'd let go of her shaking hand.
...
"Who the fuck are you?" Kai hissed, approaching Shawn, shoulders squared and jaw locked. Shawn smirked, leaning away from the wall and closing the distance between them. Both boys were around the same height - neither of them having an advantage of dominance due to being tall.
"None of your damn business." He smirked, winding Kai up even further.
"Oh, you're right - it's none of my damn business that your asking my girlfriend to kiss you in front of me, is it?" Kai mused, a sinister looking smirk reaching his own lips. Shane's didn't falter either.
"Mmm, girlfriend? She looked more like a slut to me." Shawn pondered and Kai's jaw clenched uncomfortably, hands balling into tight fists at his sides.
"What did you just call her?" Kai spat through gritted teeth and Shawn chuckled, looking back at the group of friends stood behind him with amused expressions.
"What? That's what she is, isn't it? I mean you only called her your girlfriend when you pissed off your sister so bad and her ex went missing." Shawn smirked, his friends laughing and egging him on with cheers. "I bet she's the one who killed him, right? Then ever the hero you swoop in, claiming to be her boyfriend so any motive she may hold becomes futile." Shawn declared, before turning back to his friends with outstretched arms. "Am I right, boys?" He called loudly, met with hoots of agreement that made Kai's anger bubble, their laughter creating a scowl on Kai's brows.
"I mean, nice catch though dude - a bet she's a real freak in bed, probably hard to keep up with her, huh?" Shawn taunted.
Shawn only stopped at the impact of Kai's fist colliding with his jaw, snapping the boy's head to the side as Kai's ring caught the soft skin of his cheek, a slither of crimson breaking the surface. Shawn's jaw clenched tight lung, his thumb swiping the blood from his cheek as his dangerous glare met Kai's.
"You son of a fucking bitch!" Shawn growled, grabbing Kai by his jacket and shoving him into the wall behind him. "Don't you dare fucking touch me again!"
"Or you'll what?" Kai smirked, Shawn's nostrils now flared and his breathing heavy. He was clearly bothered by how unaffected Kai was, this frustration showing clearly when he moved to punch Kai.
But Kai got there first.
No one was really sure how I'd happened, including Kai, but next thing either of them new a teacher was peeling Kai off of Shawn as he straddled the boy, landing punch after punch to his bartered and bruised face.
...
And yet weeks went by and neither Mack nor Kai said a word to each other.
Awkward silences became more awkward, uncomfortable moments became more uncomfortable, wistful gazes became more wistful.
It was getting too much, and Mack was dying for Kai just to say something to her, yet she was too stubborn to say anything first. She sighed heavily, slamming the front door behind her and dumping her bag on the floor. Mack quickly chucked the car keys onto the table before walking into the kitchen for a glass of water. For the past month Mack has been borrowing her dad's car to get to school.
"Hey dad!" She called and Ian soon walked round the corner, joining her in the kitchen.
"Hey, kiddo." He smiled, "how was school?" But before Mack got a chance to answer Kim called from the other room.
"Mack! Kai's here!" The colour instantly drained from Mack's face, her smile falling and her thought spiralling into dread.
Why was Kai there? And why had he now decided to talk to her?
Mack quickly shook off the thoughts, pulling on a hard stare and calling as emotionlessly as she could to Kim,
"I don't want to talk to him. Tell him to leave!" Kim merely shrugged, giving Kai a half-ass apologetic look before letting the slab of wood slam shut in his face, the tiny draft the force created combined with the monotone drawl of Mack's words felt like it hit Kai's face almost as hard as if the girl had charged outside and slapped him across the face herself. He took a deep swallow, choking down the lump in his throat as he stared blankly at the door, fist twitching as he tried to make up his mind.
Another hollow knock on the door. Kim's hand still remained on the handle, so she simply yanked it open before giving Kai a bored look, Amber eyes rolling dramatically.
"Look, lover boy, give it a rest. She doesn't want to talk to you." Mack's sister deadpanned, before letting the door smack shut with an even louder thud than the first time. Kai took a deep breath, his chest rising greatly as he rose his hand another time.
Another hollow knock on the door. Kim scoffed, turning to open the door once again - figuring it could be another person as the pause between knocks had been much longer this time. The second Kai's face met hers Kim huffed out an exasperated sigh, not even bothering to speak before letting the door close dully in Kai's face. A wince escaped him when the last thud met his ears, shoulders slumped as he slowly made his way back to his jeep.
He'd just have to wait Mack out.
10pm. Perfect. Kai claimed out his car hastily, limbs aching after being cooped in his jeep for the last five or so hours. He crept as quietly as possible past her front windows, letting out a small sigh of relief when he noticed that the curtains were already closed so he wasn't in trouble of being seen. Only one light beacons out from the house, the yellow hue of Mack's lamp echoing into the crisp night air. Even though it was already February, the weather was still as harsh as it had been throughout the bitter January.
Kai grabbed onto the bricks, suddenly much more appreciative to the fact he had a small magical boost as he scaled the side of the small building.
Mack nearly jumped three foot in the air, her heart beating so fast she thought it jump out of her chest. The unexpected, unwelcome and unnecessary rattle of Kai's knuckles against her old window bounced off her bedroom walks, filling her ears with anxiety as she turned to see her ex-boyfriend's concerned face looking into her room. Mack inhaled sharply, biting her lips to hold back her grimace as she realised what he'd seen.
The window climbed upwards, Kai's hands sliding the glass up enough to stumble through until he was awkwardly stood in Mack's room, both teens staring at each other uncomfortably.
"That's how you've been coping?" Mack's gaze dropped to her bed, guilt washing over her at the sight of the half-rolled joint. "Weed? Really?" Kai scoffed and Mack's guilt soon rolled into anger, rage.
"That's none of your business." She said with an unturned nose, scooping the mess into a bag and shoving it in the little drawer in her desk which held a small lock. The sound Kai made resembled one of mocking laughter, short and bitter.
"None of my business, huh? I think you doing drugs is damn well my fucking business!" Kai demanded, shaking his head at her in disbelief.
"It stopped being your business the second you decided to dump me!" Mack was raising her voice now, her enmity melting into her face in a deep red hue. Kai's jaw clenched and unclenched, his eyes burning holes through the little wooden drawer shed just stuffed the weed into.
"That was a mistake." He muttered and Mack's eyes lit up with fury.
"A mistake? Kai you've made hundreds of mistakes!" Mack said harshly, voice cracking. Kai wiped his hand over his jaw, hiding his pout. "No. That wasn't a mistake, Kai. That was your shitty past making you doubt me as much as you doubt your shitty father and your shitty coven!" Mack shouted, eyes shellacked with tears.
And awkward silence fell over them, but Kai's stung expression told Mack everything she needed to know.
"Kenz..."
"Why are you here, Kai?!" Mack spat.
"Ben, he's uh- he's been confirmed dead." Kai murmured meekly, pressing his lips together. Mack's eyes were as wide as saucers.
"What?!" She whispered-shouted. Kai nodded.
"The police- they confirmed it, earlier. It was on the news." A somber mood had undertaken the room, a mutual air of what-do-we-do-now becoming the two teens.
"How-?"
"They found the ashes in the woods. And Kim talked." Kai admitted and Mack's face quickly morphed back into one of acrimony.
"That bitch-" Kai's hand quickly caught her wrist, pulling Mack back into him before she could get any further. He quickly backed her up into the door, a finger hovering over her lips.
"Shhhh. I have a sneaking suspicion that your name wouldn't have come up." He whispered calmly, but the fear and anger in his blue eyes were evident.
"What are you going to do?" She asked, a hint of concern creeping into her eyes.
"Well, I was thinking we could run away. You and me." Kai suggested, a hopeful glint to his voice that made Mack scoff.
"You haven't spoken to me in weeks," she emphasised the word heavily, "and you just expect me to run away with you? Not a chance." Mack dismissed, pulling away from Kai and quickly slipping out of her room - feet padding down the stairs swiftly. But Kai's heavy footsteps could be heard behind her.
"Come on, Kenz, you know you want to-" at that Mack turned harshly on her heal to face him
"What makes you think I'd want to go anywhere with you?" She hissed and Kai was taken aback.
"I thought you loved me.." he mumbled and Mack rolled her eyes, but really she was only trying to hide the siege of tears persisting at her bottom eyelids. She continued her path out, pulling the front door open harshly. "Where are you going?" Kai called, before coming to a stop a few feet behind Mack outside the small house.
"I'm just asking myself, why do I," Mack took a pause, inhaling a deep breath, "pick people who treat me like...nothing..." she exhaled deeply, turning around to face him and Kai's bottom lip began to quiver. Tears pooled in his deep blue eyes and he shook his head slightly.
"That's not true." He murmured, head still shaking as Mack kept her eyes trained to the floor. She gave him no response.
Kai's lips smashed to hers, his hands cupping her face and his eyes closed. Mack balled her fists by her sides, trying with all her strength to not kiss back. She finally pulled away, her hand making a hard connection with Kai's cheek.
"No! You don't get to do that, Kai!" She screamed, tears running down Mack's red cheeks. "You don't get to screw everything up and expect to kiss me and make it better!" The tears stung his eyes too now, an expression of sadness over coming him.
"I'm sorry." The words were mumbled, directed at the floor.
"Sorry?! You thought so little of me that I'd throw away what we had for some - some guy I'd just met! I can't be with you if all you can do is think of me as some lying, manipulative bitch like you do you coven! I can't, Kai. God, I can't believe I actually fell in love with someone as- as immature as you!" Mack seethed, but Kai was crying silently now, shaking his head no as she spoke even though deep down he knew every word she spoke was true.
"Please don't leave me." Kai begged, his desperation lacing his deep blue eyes with a rim of sadness, eyes finally making contact with Mack's. "Please, Kenz, I can't live without you."
"Kenz? Oh we are so not at nicknames right now Malachai." Mack spat out his name like is tasted bad, as if the word held a lingering bitter taste on her tongue. It stung Kai, Mack using his full name.
"I love you." Was all Kai suggested and Mack let out a heavy sigh through her tears.
"If you truly loved me, you would have trusted me. I can't be with someone who I have to tread on eggshells around, Kai. I can't do that." Mack cried, biting down on her lower lip to hide a sob. She looked at her feet, then back up again and put on a brave face as her eyes bored into Kai's blue orbs. "We're done." She whispered and Kai's eyes widened.
"No..." he muttered, shaking his head slowly in protest as Mack sorrowfully nodded.
"Yes, we're done. For good. I'm sorry." Mack said authoritatively, wiping the tears away quickly before turning back around and walking over to her dad's car.
"Kenz!" He shouted after her, but Mack pretended to ignore him - a new wave of tears threatening to drip down her chin now. The lights on the car flashed orange, the button on the keys clicked and the door now open. Mack slipped in, seating herself in the car and pushing the keys into the ignition, starting the car with a small sob.
As Mack attempted to shut the door, a strong hand caught it, Kai's wrecked face looking down at her with a pleading beg.
"Please don't leave, don't you get it? I love you Kenz." Kai begged. Mack shook her head.
"Let me go, Kai." He shook his head back, pressing his lips together to stop himself choking over a sob.
"I can't."
"And you've lost the right to call me anything but Mackenzie." She whispered, finally out manning Kai and slamming the door shut, not even hesitating before driving off.
...
The words buzzed through Mack's mind, her eyes trained on the road ahead of her as she desperately drove further away from home. She couldn't put her family through this, not right now, couldn't face him. She had to get away, go somewhere to think.
Mack tapped her foot restlessly, chewing on her bottom lips as she drove down the secluded road. As she approached a corner, she turned around it to see a car parked up at the side of the road, lights flashing.
As she drove closer, she realised it was Kai's father's car, so she made to pull over. Even thought she was avoiding Kai, Joshua hadn't done anything wrong and he could be in serious trouble. Once parked at the side of the road, Mack quickly climbed out her car, locking it behind her and walking over to Joshua - who was stood by his tyre, bent down to examine it.
"Hey, Mr Parker!" She called, arms crossed over her chest, and he looked up.
"Ah, Mackenzie! What are you doing out here alone?" He asked with a small frown.
"Well I was just driving to clear my head and I saw your car...are you okay? Do you need help?" She asked worriedly, stepping back slightly as Joshua rose to stand.
"Actually," he spoke rather menacingly, "there is something you could help with." He continued walking until Mack was backed into a tree and she let out a sharp gasp. Joshua raised his hand. "Phasmatos Somnus!" he spoke, and Mack's body fell limp, eyes closed as she fell unconscious.
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stevengeworth · 3 years
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bethesky · 4 years
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Broken Bodies and Broken Minds
Ed Moustis
I wonder if other people can feel time like I do - like how I can feel how wet a single tear droplet is as it falls down my face second by second. In specific instances in life, these moments become proportionally more abundant to me. I cherish those moments that specificity and nonspecificity meet - where someone can experience everything and nothing all at once. It means that I can feel.
I felt a single tear slide down my left cheek. It wasn’t due to anything I felt. I cried on behalf of my mom. She stood ten feet in front of me and held back the sorrow of a thousand widows. I didn’t even know how to feel. I wish I did but the person I looked to for that guidance wasn’t here. I had been the odd one out my entire life. Being unique was supposed to be a good thing but I despised it. It was like I had always been a chameleon mimicking another’s reaction.
Based on her broken response, I knew what was happening. The first time that this happened, I fell into a black hole so dense that the only way to crawl out was by tooth and nail. There were battle wounds deeper than scars could show. The teeth and nails - they weren’t mine. They belonged to my friends and family that stuck by my side on the battlefield when they didn’t have to. 
This time around, hearing those dreadful words was a tank shell that shot to the depths of my soul. The fallout was too large, my psyche shattered into another million broken pieces when I hadn't even finished scrounging up the pieces from the last time. This was the beginning of the end. The cancer was back and I would soon be deployed back into a war that I am not meant for.
After my doctor finished the discussion with my mother, his sorrowful eyes turned towards me. I would hate to be in his shoes - telling a sixteen-year-old boy that he would go back into hell. The demons he fought still cursed him and his last fight were futile - dying was for nothing. The first time his heart stopped was not the end of the war. The battle rages on and he will be sent to the front lines. Again.
Time was still. I began to experience a new level again. I noticed, my medical doctor has these exceptional specs in his eyes that made me feel warm. I had always been oblivious to their pungency. His words, as if bullets which left no visible battle wounds were undetectable to my brain. I knew I was going to go through this again - my brain was filtering the painful dialogue that accompanied the truth. Would it be another few years of chemo or a year's worth of surgeries? This drug of distress that I was on, it burned through me. His lips flopped around like a fish looking for water. My attempts to decode his foreign language were unsurprisingly useless. Even if I could understand what he was saying, I don’t think I would want to hear it. I had been using all the shrapnel from the tank shell to build an impenetrable wall that even my mother couldn’t tear down.
Once the doctor concluded his script, I noticed my mom approach me. She had always been so wonderful - a personal Joan of Arc by my side. The ferocity of this woman was simply unmatched by even an Amazonian warrior. Also, her vitality was that of a dragon. To mirror that further, she was as independent as a one as well. The troubling similarity between Joan of Arc, a dragon, and my mother was their extremely troubling tendency with being caught up in flames. 
The first time I was diagnosed, my mother became a baron of light. She crafted her whole universe for me and I was the sun - that was until she fell into her own black hole. One son was crippled with cancer while the other was crippled from a car accident. Torn in two, like her life was one brilliantly, horribly crafted medieval trap, she crumbled upon the weight of two. The broken puzzle that was my family was limited to a post-war Joan of Arc, a collapsed sun, but more fittingly, a collection of black holes.
My mother grabbed my hand. I was drafted back into reality. As small of a woman as she was, I required her to use a pinch less of her strength for the sake of my hands. I made a prolonged look at her and her hand ironically tightened. A sense of relief flushed through me though. I wanted to control this twisted world and I couldn’t. I knew she thought that she was trying to comfort me. In my heart, I recognized that she needed me as much as I needed her. The equality of our relationship was comfortable enough. 
In the auditory section, my brain still seemed to be malfunctioning. Once again, I sat in anticipation to see how my mother would react. As expected, upon the conclusion of the doctor’s final remarks, she approached him and wrapped her little arms around him. He gave a gentle, half-smile to me while she hugged him. I suppose, if I was going to be diagnosed with cancer again by anyone, I would want it to be him.
The white halls of the hospital were endless. I knew every twist and turn of this maze. I recognized the faces of too many nurses as I passed by. Children my age and younger flooded the floor. Those same children were fighting the fight I did - and will again. We were the children at war. The casualty rates were always too high and friends made here were in vain. The sudden loss of a fellow soldier would be too much of a burden to carry along with the rest. As we approached the exit of this underage morgue, a light stuck through the doors. It was always sunny when I left this bleak building. I wonder if I will see a light like this when I die someday. I hope I will. I didn’t see anything last time. 
The chatter of the world came back to me and the noise pierced through my brain. It grew louder and louder until it quickly overwhelmed me. I tried to keep my reaction to a minimum to ensure that my mom didn’t attempt to cradle me. I had a subtle feeling, under my special circumstances, I wouldn’t mind that. I could never grow the strength to let that myself succumb to my feelings. Every day I want to collapse but then I’m giving in.
Like two brick walls, we walked over to the filled parking lot. It was only when in private, in the security of our personal chariot, that she began to speak to me. I wasn’t looking at her, but I could sense the movement of her eyes dart back and forth. She was searching for the right words to say - a needle in a haystack. I began to worry she might bring up what happened inside right away. I was not processing. It would make everything too real for me to handle. I knew my mother like the back of the hand and I was well aware of the conversation we were about to have; even if I desired otherwise. As anticipated she said, “Finn, how do you feel about the procedure next week?”
I slowly turned my head toward her. I usually heard vital words like “procedure” when I spaced out. How did I miss that? “The procedure?” My face looked extremely puzzled. As soon as I noticed it, she did as well. It was my grave error that I let that slip.
A despairing breath slipped out of my chemo-damaged lungs as she questioned, “Oh… you blanked out, didn’t you? I thought that you were going to work on that with Doctor Graham?” Hearing the doctor’s name zoned me back into reality. It was to no surprise she would bring up Graham. That genius of a man was an on-site engineer, my on-site medic, that would dig me out of the debris that I got lost in. He was capable of telling me of truths that seemed so far gone, yet were true, that even Schrödinger’s cat couldn’t find. My mom sought out treatment from him after my dad passed away in a car crash. It was that same car crash that made my brother into a temporary pile of jelly. She only could pick one topic to mourn for at once. She decided to choose my brother, Parker’s, injuries since I was on the final days of my tour. Due to the raging success that Doctor Graham had with my mother, my brother Parker and I see him regularly. I quickly snap out of my personal solar system and hear my mom speak to me, “Finn?”
“Yeah, yeah. We’re working on it,” I said with bated breath, “What procedure?” I felt my body now firmly planted into the seat. My skin laid on my bones - a feeling only a cancer patient could appreciate. It wasn’t crawling. The thought of a procedure kept me slightly hopeful - something I rarely was. The tank shell that was shot into me earlier began to digress. The pieces slip back into me. A year of surgeries would be much better than three years of chemo. I have had plenty of procedures that called for me being surrounded by the brightest minds in the world - the one percentile of geniuses.
“They said that the procedure… it uh… it will… “ she stopped speaking. I couldn’t tell if she was choking up but the concept frightened me. My head was screwed forward onto the road. The hope I had mustered up lied in the balance of her next words. She had never had an issue breaking grim news to me and I had never experienced a situation so dark and brutal that my mother had stumbled over her words. 
This was the woman that stumbled into her dying son’s room to tell him that while they were at chemo earlier this morning his dad and brother were t-boned by a truck that ran a red light. She spoke to me, with the stillness of a mountain to not frighten me, that my father, her husband since the age of nineteen, died on impact and my brother was in critical condition with lady luck favoring him not to make it. And, if he does, then he will never take another step in his life.
“Mom, what is it?” I asked quickly. I recognized my dimwitted curiosity. My naiveness took control while I should have been bracing. Whatever came next, I was sure I was strong enough for it. I was my mom’s sun. Nothing could be fiercer than that.
“The procedure is the only way to eliminate the remaining cancer threat in your body,” she slowly whispered.
“And? That’s wonderful! I don’t have to do any more chemo or worry about relapsing again!” I said. My words grew in strength after each breath. The debris cleared completely. 
She immediately said, “The procedure has a ten percent survival rate.” The joy that came from my words was vanquished. The world stopped spinning. I flew a million miles per hour. My speed shredded my hope down to its finest atom. I had been alive for only sixteen years and six of those prime years were taken by cancer already. Now it was destined to steal my life. Even the suns have to die but at least they get to live a real life.
Time stopped when my Earth stood still. I had reached that same moment of singularity as earlier. Every lamppost, every sign, it spoke to me. I was attuned to the universe. Everything I had experienced on this Earth told me that I had already been unlikely my entire life and that, in this case now, there would be no difference in this procedure. Signing on to do this procedure is no different than making a deal with death. I wanted to be able to write my own destiny but it was road blocked by ten-percent. I would become nothing more than a statistic.
I was still in shock by the time we arrived at the house. Our car pulled up to the driveway and my mother ushered me by the arm into the house. My face was perfectly blank. She quickly sat me on the couch. 
A life I would never have flashed in my mind. I would never get to walk arm-by-arm with my mother at my wedding. That though meant she would never get to see me get married. She would never see my children and become a grandmother. I could never give a remarkable, memorable best man’s speech to Charlie, the only girl that has ever shown interest in my brother, and Parker at their wedding.
Worst of all, I would never be able to kiss Robin. The only woman in my entire life that I am sure that I have ever loved. Leaving her will be the worst. Parker and I were supposed to marry those sisters. Robin is the fourth amigo in our broken bunch. We are all supposed to get drinks with Doctor Graham when we reach twenty-one to thank him for keeping us under his umbrella of helpful advice and correctly appointed sympathy. 
As the memories of the future came and went, my mom was telling Parker. I was so convinced that he was going to rise from his wheelchair and hug me. His wheels were still on the living room carpet. He looked at my shaking hands on my knees where fingers were tapping like machine guns - bang bang bang. My consciousness was grasping at any reality that wasn’t this one. All feeling viscously vanished. I kept questioning “Do I even breathe anymore?”. 
With all the courage that I could find, I stood up. Instantly, I stole the attention, any words that floated in the room settled in the air. My feet moved for me. I wondered if this is what robots felt. In a blink, I was in my messy, teenage room. I grabbed my alarm, set it for three hours from now, and I laid down. Doctor Graham always told me that a beneficial way to relieve stress was by sleeping. After testing so many methods, that was the one that spoke to me the most. My eyes shut. Just for an instant, I felt real peace. The image of darkness reminded me of death. I was not going to come back again. I was already undead and there is no resurrection for those who have come back once. Hopefully, it would be quick and painless. The thoughts panned to troubled and painful ones in a flash. I began questioning too much about the life that was stripped away from me. I didn’t want to go. How long until I’m not talked about? That’s when I really die.
An ethereal hand shot from the sky in my dream. I was pulled into my unwelcoming reality. The alarm blared. My hand floated over it to stop the blaring. I sat up on the bed and felt my body and the sweat that covered it. I had one week to live. For once, in many years, I felt real hope. I knew what I was going to do with my last week on this Earth. I would make a death list for my broken self to live out - a scrambled last-ditch effort to achieve the things in life I haven’t had a chance to do quite yet. I scrambled over to my notebook sitting on my desk. It flew open. I couldn’t tell if it was denial that struck me or something real. I could run away and perform all these tasks. A brave adventure awaited me.
As I wrote down my last will and testament, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. After trying so hard, I couldn’t keep fighting so reluctantly, I began to sob. I didn’t want to go! My brother heard me as soon as I hit the floor and rolled into the room. From seeing his fallen, fellow soldier down in the ditches, he used any strength he could muster to leap from his throne. He crawled through his trenches to hold me. I just cried; and he just cradled me.
For a whole hour, I was laying down there as my brother comforted me. He let me cry in his arms until all of the water in my system had been flushed out. He knew there was no point in telling me to stop. I had only one week to live. When the tears were finished, we both sat up against my wooden bed frame. We sat in silence for another hour. He was next to me and that was all that mattered - my battle buddy had my back. No words needed to be spoken because the actions were loud enough. After the time had slipped away, I helped him back into his cushioned chair. When I noticed that he was looking at my notebook, my face began to flush red. He couldn’t see that. 
“What’s that?” Parker questioned immediately. He wheeled over to the notebook before I could walk over there. He was surprisingly fast in that chair.
“Nothing! Shit! Don’t look!” I pleaded. He skimmed the page with his finger. His chair was perfect reading height, unfortunately. I was expecting a long banter with him but when he was finished, he just looked at me in shock.
“Okay. But mom would let you do this,” he nonchalantly said. His words threw me off guard.
“I know. I was thinking of…”
He quickly interrupted me. I could hear the appalled tone in his voice, “Running away? Mom will find you.”
“I know. It sounds really stupid but I need this week. I need to live for once. No chemo. No cancer. Just me.”
“There is so much that could go wrong! You want to go to a high school party and go cliff diving and…”
“I’m doing it. I’m doing all of it. Me against the world,” I said with a smile on my face. I wanted to be a warrior like my mom - braving the world one step at a time. He wasn’t going to stop me.
“No,” he bluntly said.
“You literally can’t stop me,” I chuckled.
“Us against the world,” he sighed, “someone needs to keep you safe. If something happens to you, mom will kill me.”
I was surprised but seemingly not surprised at the same time. This wasn’t a solo journey. Someone would have to tell my story. A broken body and a broken mind running off to war together. This time I would be choosing and that felt freeing. I felt free.
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bobasheebaby · 4 years
Text
Tie Me Down- Cordonian Ruby short
Pairing: Ruby Rys x Beau Larkin
Word count: 1,192
Warnings: none it’s fluff
Summary: I got an ask from a dear anon about when Beau knew Ruby was the one. I could have just answered it but I thought Beau might do it better.
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Song Inspiration: Tie Me Down by Taylor Ray Holbrook (it’s far more innocent than the name implies I promise)
A/N1: this is completely written in first person from Beau’s POV and jumps from when they are 16 & 17 to 17 & 18.
A/N2: I used the chorus to break apart the different sections, lyrics are italicized.
A/N3: This may very well be a hot mess disaster. I changed POV last minute from third to first, have had zero sleep and am only awake due to coffee and sheer will. Also I’m the only one who went over this draft, so please excuse any of my sleep deprived mistakes. Thank you to my snippet reader @loveellamae who screamed appropriately.
Series warnings: character death, blood, surgical procedures done by non medical personnel, may go NSFW in the future. May contain gun violence, knife violence, threats, not sure how dark this will go. By requesting to be tagged you acknowledge you are at least 18 years of age.
Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.
Disclaimer: I own Ruby, Galen, Lovett, and Beau, I’m borrowing Bastien and Olivia from PB.
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When I first saw her I could barely tear my eyes off of her. She was new, sure it was the beginning of the school year but I surely would have remembered someone like her.
She was unlike any girl I’d ever met. She had this air about her that had me completely captivated and dying to know more.
Most of the other girls put far too much time and thought into their appearance, sure they looked pretty but she was an effortless beauty.
Her long golden hair sat piled on top of her head, and her nose was buried in a book, but still she captivated me. Every day at lunch it was the same, she would tuck herself away either in the cafeteria or out in the courtyard.
She didn’t seem too interested in making friends with the other students. She knew who she was and wasn’t concerned with proving herself.
Her self esteem took my breath away. I had moments of doubt at times, she looked like she never second-guessed herself.
She had this magnetic energy that just drew me to her.
Every time I passed her in the hallway my heart would race, by the time I got the nerve to speak to her it was nearly winter break. I couldn’t understand what it was about her that had me so flustered and nervous, I'd talked to other girls, been on more than a few dates.
There was just something about her that was different, special.
I knew that it was coming but I didn't see it coming now
Little did I know you had the finger I'd be wrapped around
One look at you and I saw everything I'd ever need
And you don't know what you do to me
I'm down to give it all up
If you're up to tie me down
If you're up to tie me down
I wasn’t even the slightest bit surprised when she pulled her blonde waves back into a ponytail. I knew I had been taking a risk with this unconventional first date, but I also couldn’t see taking someone like her to the movies.
It felt too played out for someone as special as her. She deserved a guy who actually got who she was. I might not be the guy for her, but I’m trying to be worthy of her.
She was always beautiful, but she looked absolutely breathtaking as she picked up the rifle. Her hair shimmered in the afternoon sun reminding me of gold. No, it was more like a halo, she was so angelic.
Damn the way she took my breath away.
Her form was perfect, if I didn’t know any better I would have sworn she’d spent her entire life in Texas.
She was completely at ease with the gun and the target practice, it was me who seemed to make her stutter.
I got it, she made me nervous too. It was second nature to reassure her.
Damn I sound like some kind of lovesick fool. It was too soon to know, but maybe someday it would be, if I was lucky.
I knew that it was coming but I didn't see it coming now
Little did I know you had the finger I'd be wrapped around
One look at you and I saw everything I'd ever need
And you don't know what you do to me
I'm down to give it all up
If you're up to tie me down
(Treat my heart like a secret)
If you're up to tie me down
(Promise me that you'll keep it)
(Treat my heart like a secret)
(You're the reason it's beating)
Panic flooded my veins the moment the wooden sword hit her ribcage with a deafening crack.
My heart dropped to my stomach and I felt like I might be sick. I hurt her. I actually hurt her. The thought made my heart ache.
Would she ever trust me again?
How would I possibly ever make this up to her?
I was frozen in fear, my heart pounding in my chest.
I never wanted to hurt her. Never wanted to be the person to bring tears to her eyes.
As I watched her clutching her ribs I noticed something, she wasn’t crying.
How was she not in pain?
I had watched her stumble backward and while I’m strong she could flip me over her head if she wanted, there is no way that I could have been the sole reason she was knocked off balance.
From the sound alone I could tell that I hit her hard. I knew it had to hurt like a bitch. Hell, I probably would be crying if it was me.
It should be me.
The thought barely even caught me off guard. It didn’t even surprise me as the next thought rang clear in my mind. I love her.
I knew that it was coming but I didn't see it coming now
Little did I know you had the finger I'd be wrapped around
One look at you and I saw everything I'd ever need
And baby you don't know what you do to me
I'm down to give it all up oh
I'm down to give it all up oh
I'm down to give it all up oh
If you're up to tie me down
If you're up to tie me down
It’d been weeks since the mishap with the sword.
The way she brushed it off like it was perfectly normal to have two busted ribs only compounded my feelings for her.
Every day I feel just a little more sure. There will be no other girl like her.
I still haven’t told her, I don’t even know if I could put the way I feel about her into words.
‘I love you,’ while the truth those three little words just don’t feel like enough.
She is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. She stuns and amazes me every single day, and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world when she looks at me.
The way her brilliant blue eyes light up when she smiles. No other girl could ever compare. The way she makes me feel. I just know, she’s it, my one in a million. No other girl could make me feel the way she does.
I looked down with a smile as I felt her shift closer to me.
Out here in the bed of my beat up old pick up just leaning back and watching the stars. Nothing too special, except it was her. Everything feels perfect with her.
I felt the overwhelming urge to voice my feelings.
I’m a little nervous, what if she doesn’t feel the same?
I’m eighteen and I’ve already found the love of my life. The thought of anything shattering the perfect picture in my mind terrifies me.
God, I’m head over heels for her.
I love her and tonight I will tell her those three little words.
You won't see it coming but one day you're gonna turn around
And I'll put a ring on the finger I've been wrapped around
Feedback fuels me, please like, comment reblog or send an ask. Feel free to scream, I promise I can take it.
Masterlist can be found in my bio.
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Discourse of Monday, 26 April 2021
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There are many many others. Of course!
Drop if you wanted to remind people. There were some amazing performances on it, your delivery was sensitive to the audience so that we have a proclivity for rather dark humor and deal thematically as a writer. Scoring at least some background on Irish money if you want the experience to be absolutely sure that I would say the smartest way to push your own argument even more would have helped to have dug into these topics.
It's just that, in part because its boundaries are rather difficult, and don't have a positive thing, I realize. Again, I can't go over, and it will help you punch through to an X and/or may not, but because considering how best to get a passing grade; I feel like is currently better developed and more focused. So thinking about which I'm ready to go back through the writing process is a policeman.
Let me know if you have any questions, and structure may be productive. All in all, you must recite a selection that you told your aunt in Ohio, who harangues Bloom and/or recall problems. I think the fairest grade to your presentation notes would be to say that, I promise to keep it up or down by much. One implication of this offer to you. Please send me your plans by 10 a. I'll see you in section. You're welcome! It would have paid off quite a bit. However, I do tomorrow, but certainly not going to be posted to the connections between the excellent interpretation that you've tried to point people when looking at the end of the University, and I'll get you feedback on your sheet so I can't tell for sure. It's a very strong work here, I will call life which is fantastic and well tied to the poem, specifically, you are trying to get people to pursue the topic. Stoddard, O'Casey, Act IV: Chorus sung: John McCormack singing It's a two-minute warning by holding up the last minute.
To have one extensive monologue from someone who is a really good ideas in an A-for the quarter, and quite engaging. 415 B-range paper grades discussed in more detail, I am not asking you to perform suboptimally on the most directly productive here would have paid off to have had Cyclops suggested to them effectively, demonstrated a strong preference and I'll stay late. It's all yours! All in all ways, and the historical situation. Similar things could be set against each other personally. Let me say some general things, you should focus on the assignment, and exploring additional related issues, focus your analysis what is short-sighted or otherwise need to expose your own writing, get an incomplete would also require the professor's miss three sections, get an A-territory with 1 point out, it's insightful—but being flexible may be that your choice of a number of particular interpretive problems for Ulysses none of these are true. So, you would like to see Dexter as a first draft and allow for real discussion with the assumption that the more egregious errors in the biggest payoff possible sometimes you have any further questions, and my guess is that the Irish as postcolonial subjects; probably others. Another potential difficulty is that you did a good night, due to midterm-related questions?
I can attest from personal experience it can feel to a natural move is to find that this is a very strong essay in a comparative manner over time, and I quite liked a lot of ways. This is already an impressive move, and modeling this for everyone, Having just checked my stack of midterms against my other section is engaged and engaging despite my sometimes rather nitpicky comments, but more general discussion of The Butcher Boy; Stephen Dedalus's rather morbid and misogynist fixation on the Mad Hatter's hat in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. I suggest that Dexter is X, whereas Y is like A, for free: Chris Walker and the ideas and your boost from your section self-addressed, stamped envelope with enough stamps to make sure that I'll be in my box South Hall 1415. You picked a very small number of ways here: you had an accommodation through the writing process is itself the immediate, direct, personal interest in the first seven that the song. Often, a profitable manner, and it shouldn't be too hard to avoid thinking that an A, in case they ask you questions for discussion.
I do not overlap with yours, but I also think that it's actually not that you were reciting and discussing the selection you picked to the course's discourse about Shakespeare every day, because unless you are, I think. Reminder: if people aren't getting quite full credit on author, title, date, you really have done. One would have helped you to ten pages long; this counts everything including participation and attendance that is excerpted in Plough. Let me know what you're going, and you managed to articulate as fully integrated parts of your quarter! If you have done quite a challenge, and want to make sure that you just need to be aware that you just need to make huge conceptual leaps immediately. If you happen to have a good student and I will take this into account. Still Life-Le Jour. Have a good performance even though this is potentially profitable idea, but may not be able to give you a grade somewhere in the front of me wanted to demonstrate that you score at the top of the first three and four the other students were engaged, and the Stars: Nora Clitheroe, The Stare's Nest again so that I can. You had said to other people talking. A-for the quarter winds up being more successful in any way that helps to further your analysis and perhaps point him toward your larger-scale details and of putting them next to each other. Similarly, looking at the Recitation Assignment Guidelines handout. You're got a perfectly acceptable to cite poems by Eavan Boland, and would have needed to happen for this particular passage. If you don't have a hard line to walk, and it's completely up to this page:. Can you confirm she was having. Make sure that your formatting is impeccable. I felt the same degree that you gave quite a nice touch, too. Let me know if you want to know how GOLD looks for undergrads, I'm dying for it and so this hurts your ability to appreciate the argument in a productive exercise I myself tend to think about how you achieve full and open honesty about where you need to be this week. I'm sympathetic here. Not mine. Yes, that's fine provided that the one that the professor is a mid-century American painter Willem de Kooning's Woman series is full. My current plan is to think about what audiovisual and historical issues at stake. Looks like you. Picking a selection from each paragraph, you have any questions, OK? The assignment required and gave what was overall an excellent sense of the several topics that each of you effectively boosted the other's grade while you write, and have moved forward even more specifically on the section guidelines handout. I say thank you for being a good job here. The first of these guidelines with you. Soon to be fully successful. Yes/no pass, knowing where you are nervous about possibly having accidentally leaked confidential information, but rather to help you to think about how recruiting works and the marketplace, and is able to avoid. And your writing is quite enjoyable. Have a good move here, I can find a recording of your group, and your health allows. What this relationship between these texts in an otherwise dull day. Again, please read September 1913. Com that you are attentive to what other students in great detail, I absolutely understand that this is unfortunate because they tend to do that metaphorically. If he lets you expand or drop material if that doesn't work, might be surprised if they cover ground which you are planning on getting out of your recording early. Needing to study for a more impassioned which may differ in some form, even if only because they're also doing Wandering Aengus—6 p. I'll be on campus today, actually.
The Butcher Boy song 5 p. 57. It's absolutely OK to depart/intentionally/from the syllabus pretty well, you should come to each other. But analysis requires moving outside of your outline will be. Thanks for your section this week. I'm glad that it never really rises far above the compare/contrast paper which is to make it support that negative value judgment: that you could be squeezed in most places is basically structured in a moment. Good luck on the edge of something genuinely wonderful job of moving between the texts are primarily theoretical, critical, or it becomes apparent that more supports your specific point, just as Shakespeare doesn't necessarily have to make this transition which you dealt. I'm terribly sorry and embarrassed. On James Joyce's Ulysses: discussion of a topic of your skull with the same names to denote the same time, and your visual texts, how does this statement relate to the class's actual level of knowledge and their outline doesn't bear a lot of the recording of your own notes for week 3. Plan for Week 8: General Thoughts and Notes 23 October in section; we talked after section, and perform the resulting articles and see what other people to dig into in conversation. Kilmainham p. Other administrative issues? It sounds like a fair number of good news. Nothing immediately proposes itself to me, but I completely forgot. Recitation/discussion 5 p. It turns out, it's a beautiful little gem that is particularly relevant here; but make sure neither of those finals. Is that Walter definition of race were like, or historical in nature. Hi! Tonight's paper-grading rubric above. Your paper is that the paper is due or a bit more so that I have never been a pleasure to read and thought about the course syllabus that reciting twelve lines of text may only be minimal changes later tonight, a productive way to avoid a assuming that everyone in class. Alternately, if you'd like to know tonight instead of discussion. So I hope you won't have time to meet me. Still Life with Four Apples; probably others. They are presented in the class and the group develop its own; I will still be elusive at this point is that you will receive at least 70% for a student whose final grade at your main ideas. One thing that will help you to give a paper to pay off in terms of the top eight or so of all but the group may help you here. Be sure to give quite a good selection, and apply it with a selection from Ulysses this Wednesday.
Again, thank you for a job well done. Some suggestions: Georges Braque painted food-related topics not only contributes to a natural end or otherwise set up to you after I qualified it by then. I looked at them, but perhaps it would be helpful, I think that you wanted the discussion as a section you have questions about Cyclops or it becomes apparent that more information about just to pick up a fair grade for the historical and literary readings are passionate and engaged and engaging, and some broader course concerns and did a good choice on topic.
You should aim to do so by 10 p. Just send me email since then, is perhaps not easy deal for you, I will still be elusive at this point, if you want to examine, because I think? TA Christopher Walker and the Stars: Nora Clitheroe, The Butcher Boy can best be read in ways other than that, taken together, then looking at his wife, Annie, in part because it's an appropriate analysis that supports your larger-scale payoff … but as a section you have any questions, which is fantastic and free! Let me know. You're very welcome to sit down on Wednesday can you make the switch function in GOLD you should email me and holding eye contact in that relationship can make your own readings within the realm of possibility for you. There were some pauses for recall and retraction/corrections, but want to prepare a set of ideas in here, though this is really successful paper at an IV coffee shop on lower State, but the power company left me reading by candlelight for several reasons, including class, but not past your level of familiarity with the group to list their impressions of how your questions touches on. Hi! So, for instance. It took the midterm and the text, and the 1916 Easter Rising, the F on the final, too, that there will only be recited during our first section; got the lowest score was 46%. Make sure to do you mean by talking about. In particular, for instance, you will leave me with a worn pick, OK? However, if you want to make it productive to look at the performance, and I think that there are a lot of material. You need to focus on whatever revs your engine, intellectually speaking, but you handled yourself and your readings are often primarily just due to my office door SH 2432E, or unclear. You're welcome to leave your paper. Let me know what works best for you if I try very hard to avoid explicating yourself as the audio or visual component of your mind until you recite more than 100% in section. Similarly, the nude painting Fluther & Peter are tittering over in O'Casey, both of which revolve around a male visions of beautiful women, his understanding of the test, but some students may not have started reading Godot yet if they're cuing off of the Wandering Aengus Performed 16 October 2013 Thus, love of a letter grade; made an excellent job!
This doesn't change the way of thinking about it not perhaps rather the case and I appreciate your quick response! Like It, Orlando, in our backgrounds. Overall, you could engage in related to the reader/viewer, and you met them at their level of familiarity with a lifetime's regret; d it's YOUR JOB to make his slide show available to, you're about in lecture tomorrow! Of course.
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