#the way you kill immortals (vampires) in this game is so metal i need to rant abt it Somewhere

[harpuiaa]

i've been dead and gone bc of school and jobsearching and everything happening all at once but ive been playing the boktai series games lately and i'm enjoying it a lot. I just got past the third boss in boktai 2. I don't know why but i'm enthralled with these games, i highly recommend them

#WOE TEN THOUSAND TAG MUSINGS BE UPON YE (this is a warning) #boktai #(pointing) the battle network fan has fallen for the crossover marketing 20 years late #the first gif is bc i imagine the bosses waiting all polite like for django to finish eating healing items when heal scumming in fights. #twenty apples a day keeps the damage away #django is like a son to me hes just a little guy #if the text is hard to read in the third image it says “The tick damage in sunlight brothers” #i find it funny that vampire django still gains his energy from sunlight after turning. his voiceline changes too #it's hard to tell if it's bc hes supposed to sound gruff or like hes in pain. but it makes me feel bad for recharging energy like that #i figure he'd be wound up abt this since it seems he views any connection to his father with a lot of weight #(e.x: zazie pointing out he's crying just after the gun del sol got stolen at the start of 2) #hence why he's depressed in that image #also all the official art of him looks very cool but im incapable of seeing him like that his sprite makes him look like a scruffy dog #im torn between thinking it's cute nd wanting to make fun of him with doodles. least typical vampire appearance with the most typical power #the way you kill immortals (vampires) in this game is so metal i need to rant abt it Somewhere #so like boktai is a game series abt vampire hunting but it's rather sci-fi abt it. instead of more typical weapons you use solar energy #the immortals resurrect after being killed #but this can be prevented via purification. the way this goes is #after winning a bossfight the enemy will get sealed in a coffin. that you then to drag allll the way back outside the dungeon #(often with new puzzles thanks to the coffin being an extra weight) #all the while the immortal inside tries to escape #the objective is to get the immortal to a. summoning circle i guess? #housing devices called pile drivers. they're more like lenses or mirrors though. #they focus sunrays on the coffin purifying the immortal after a brief fight that's like #preventing the boss from attacking the pile drivers until it dies #like. this doesn't sound all that special but most bosses you fight are sentient and i just think it's a bit of a brutal method #for a main protagonist to use #i keep thinking of how it must feel to do it for a living. something like a funeral driver but you're the murderer and the corpse isn't dea #and instead of a funeral you're taking them to a mega death laser array that'll slowly chip away at their health #and then boktai 2 inflicts that on django and im like. is he ok (he's ok but he died)

[princess-of-riviaa]

Wicked Rose

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x Rosa Malvada (OFC)

Summary: Geralt is sent on a mission that sends him to the doorstep of vampire Rosa Malvada. Steamy smut insues.

Warning(s): dirty talk, biting kink, SMUT, blood, both characters are very dominant

Word Count: 3092

There were countless reasons to enjoy an immortal life. The power was intoxicating--there was no greater feeling than knowing you were the greatest threat in any given room. The access to knowledge that stretched across every part of the realm, the secrets that stayed trapped within country borders--all of it there for you to revel in. But the greatest thing of all, the thing that brought satisfaction even in the darkest of nights, was being the kind of monster everyone believed vampires to be.

A regular vampire proved to be a challenging opponent, even for a skilled warrior. The Higher Vampires were impossible to kill. With their wit and strength, they ran circles around mortal men. Not even the legendary witchers could end them; only a Higher Vampire could kill one of his brethren, which had only happened twice in all of history. And Rosa Malvada, Princess of the Higher Vampires, was the most feared and powerful of her entire clan.

Geralt of Rivia, the most famous witcher along the west coast, had been stalking her for three days now. He’d been careful, calculating every movement before he made it. It was cute, actually, how much effort he put into being stealthy. Little did he know Rosa had noted his presence within the first twenty minutes of his days-long hunt. She’d considered draining the blood from his body and burying him in some forgotten part of the woods. Who was he to think that a centuries-old Higher Vampire--a princess of their clan--wouldn’t note his presence? How dare he think she would fall into his trap! But she’d been curious. She’d never seen a witcher hunt, and it had been appealing enough that she’d played the part of a happily oblivious vampire, letting him follow her from town to town, never letting him realize that she was drawing him ever closer to her nest.

The night of the full moon, Geralt had decided to make his attack. He’d been smart enough to drink one of those witcher elixirs he kept on his body--a wise precaution she had to give him credit for. But even that magical potion couldn’t take her down. Not before she found out why he’d been hunting her. Not before she’d have her way with him.

His boots were near-silent as he strode through the abandoned halls of an ancient castle along the coast of Temeria. It had been Rosa’s home since an ancient royal family had decided to abandon it due to the rumors of an evil vampire lurking in the halls at night--a rumor that had proved true, since Rosa had been sloppy enough to leave behind a mess of the guards’ bodies she’d drunk from. The family had been so scared they left with nothing but the clothes on their backs. The belongings they’d left behind were now part of Rosa’s trove.

Geralt pulled out two swords from his back, careful to make his movements as silent as possible. His ears perked up at every breath of the wind. That witcher elixir had heightened his senses, Rosa realized, and if she wasn’t careful, her game of cat and mouse would come to an end much too soon. She watched from the shadows as he stopped at the end of a hallway. He looked like a mountain in all that black armor--a mountain she wanted to climb. The sight of him was distracting--

Until he cocked his head, a predator finally spotting his prey.

“The shadows won’t hide you from me.” He spoke in a whisper, but Rosa heard him perfectly, as if he’d whispered the words in her ear. Rosa stood in a corner of darkness, and with thirty feet of distance between them, she thought it would have been harder for him to spot her. She was impressed.

“What makes you think I’m hiding?” she purred in response, moving through the shadows so he could catch a glimpse of her blood-red eyes.

“I don’t want to kill you,” he admitted as he turned to face her. That perfect face was paler than usual, enough so the veins under the surface of his skin were visible. And those eyes--darker than the shadows that now cloaked Rosa. He was the pure embodiment of death.

Rosa had never wanted a man more.

“Then what are you doing here?” She forced her tone to remain clipped, despite the desire starting to pool between her thighs.

“A descendant of the family who once lived here,” he began. “He’s paid me to return a lost family crest to him.”

Over her dead body. “Everything within these walls belongs to me. If they wanted some family crest, their ancestors should have brought it with them before they fled this place.”

“I’ve been paid to finish the job,” he insisted.

“Whatever amount they’ve promised you, I’ll double it.” She had more than enough gold to spare. Make enough calculated kills, drink from the right kind of people, and inheriting chests of gold becomes as easy as breathing.

“Come out of the dark. Maybe I’ll consider your offer.”

“Drop those blades,” she compromised, “and I’ll go anywhere you want, Witcher.”

Metal clinked against stone, a riotous sound amongst the silence of the dead castle. Geralt’s hands went slack at his sides. It was a mirage. An act of relaxed calm hiding a hunter about to pounce.

Rosa was precise with her movements, careful to never move within his reach even as she evaded the cover of darkness. His eyes slid along her body so sensually that her body burned everywhere he looked. It was almost enough to get her to step towards him. Almost. She lifted her chin higher, confident in the curve of her hips and the swell of her breasts that he now took in. Blood-red hair curled down her back, stark against the white dress she wore.

He sniffed audibly before muttering, “I didn’t know vampires could be aroused by anything other than blood.”

He could smell the lust dripping between her thighs. It only made her want him more, somehow.

She retorted, “I didn’t realize witchers could be so attractive.”

Silence filled the air as they stared at each other, both resisting the urge to close the distance between them and take what they both were craving.

“Afraid to want a monster, Witcher?” she taunted.

A warning growl was the only response he gave.

“I’ll pay you to leave empty-handed tonight, to return to the man who paid you and insist that this precious family crest no longer exists.” She took half a step towards him--the only amount of distance she dared to close between them. “I’ll pay you in gold. Or, if there’s another form of payment you’d prefer, I’d happily let you indulge in that too.” The smile that tugged at her lips was flirtatious. It only grew as Geralt’s gaze dropped to her mouth, those darkened pupils missing nothing.

He was silent. A man of few words. That was fine--Rosa would be sure to fill the silence as he filled her tonight.

She spread her arms. An open invitation. All he had to do was take it. “Come on, Geralt. Take what we both want.”

Still, he hesitated.

“Would you prefer it if I beg?” she wondered.

He pounced. Half a second passed before he had her pressed against the wall, her back pressed tightly against his chest. She ground her ass into his hard-on. Oh, fuck. The stories of a witcher’s girth weren’t just stories. One of his hands moved to her hip, grinding her body against his erection, while the other tugged hard enough on her hair to force her to look up and back at him.

“I’d like to hear you beg,” he growled.

Yeah, right. She dug her elbow into his stomach hard enough to make his grip loosen on her. A second later he was the one trapped against the wall. She held onto his wrists with a grip so tight not even a witcher’s strength could get him out.

“Sorry, darling, but I don’t beg for anyone.”

Before he could say anything, she licked up the column of his throat. His witcher heart was slow, but his pulse still made her toes curl. She longed to know what he tasted like, longed to know if he tasted better than he would feel when he was balls-deep inside of her.

The sensation of her tongue on his skin made a low growl elicit from the back of his throat, a sound so intoxicating that Rosa did, for a moment, contemplate begging him to fuck her if she had to. She needed this man inside of her, needed him to mark her up and fuck her so well she couldn’t walk right for a day afterwards.

“You don’t beg?” Geralt's voice was a low timber in her ear, making her shiver with arousal. And then his hand was around her throat while the other one went to the sensitive mound between her legs. “Then you’ve never had a Witcher fuck you.”

A moan fell from her lips before she could stop it. Her body was pure reaction now; there was no more room for her pride to decide what she would do. She was merely a reaction to every move Geralt made. She was at his mercy.

In one flash of movement Geralt picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder, carrying her off through the castle like game he’d just proudly hunted down. He stopped at what was once the duke’s quarters, but had been Rosa’s quarters for centuries now. The room was filled with piles of clothes, books, and gold. Crimson sheets were thrown about the bed on the far wall, which was where Geralt strode for now. He was gentle as he set her down but the look in his eyes was wild and ravenous. She had no doubt her eyes held the same kind of animalistic hunger.

“Ever fucked a vampire before?” she questioned as she sat up and started untying his breeches.

“No,” was his simple reply, his voice a deep, rumbling baritone that made Rosa’s stomach knot with need.

She pulled down his breeches enough for his cock to spring free and--wow. Whether it was the Witcher mutation or Geralt had been blessed by the gods themselves, Rosa didn’t particularly care. Not as her mouth literally watered at the site of his thick, long cock, already glistening with precum. Dark curls swirled around the base of his shaft. A thin vein ran along the length of his cock from base to tip and she practically moaned. She wrapped her hand around his length, softly caressing the velvet of his sensitive skin as she began to jerk him off. He growled in approval. It wasn’t long before her skilled hand had him bucking his hips, desperate for her to increase her pace so he could cum. But she continued her slow assault on his throbbing cock, enamored by the look on his face as she teased him. Precum continued to fall from his tip. It mixed with her hand to make a sinful squelching noise. That, along with Geralt’s grunts and growls, was the only sound in the room.

Rosa finally pulled her hand away when she decided she’d tortured the Witcher long enough. His eyes were lidded, heavy with lust, but they widened with arousal as he watched her lick up every last drop of the precum on her hand. With a growl that promised her unbecoming, he splayed a large hand on her stomach and pushed her back. He climbed over her as she relaxed against the bed. His right leg instantly moved between her own, his knee finding a home against her aching pussy.

“My turn,” he growled before moving to hover over her heat.

“Wait,” she called out, her body already humming with intense heat. “You really want to get me off?”

The look in his golden eyes was answer enough.

“Then let me drink from you.” Her voice was breathy, too overcome with lust to sound normal anymore.

He paused, and that lust in his eyes was replaced by a look of distrust.

“I won’t drink too much,” she promised. “But for a vampire, drinking a partner’s blood while being intimate with them is better than anything else. It’ll make me cum long before eating me out will.”

“Which vein is best?” Geralt asked in a low, curious voice, but there was still hesitancy written all over his face.

“The closer to the heart, the better,” she admitted. “Anywhere would do, but blood from the heart, or anywhere around it…” She closed her eyes as she thought about the intoxicating taste of blood straight from the heart. It had been a long time since she’d let herself indulge in it, since tasting blood that sweet normally sent vampires into a frenzy. But the memory of that nectar on her lips made her legs clench, it was that good.

“You stop when I tell you to,” Geralt demanded. His tone was stern, but he was giving in. Indulging her.

Her heart began to beat faster at the thought of drinking from him. “And if I don’t?” Rosa wondered, opening her eyes to look at him again.

The answer to her question was written in his eyes. If she didn’t stop, if she gave in to the monster inside of her, he’d kill her.

“As you wish,” she complied.

He reached a hand towards her. For a second she thought he was reaching for her neck, wanting to pull her towards him for a kiss, but his hand stopped between her breasts, at the dress still covering them. A second later and the dress was torn to shreds, her breasts falling free. Her nipples were already hard from arousal and a low sound of approval fell from Geralt as he observed it. His eyes scanned the rest of her body with hunger.

“Your turn,” she demanded, longing to see his body in all of its naked, muscled glory.

He rose to his feet and began undressing, teasing her as he moved slowly. All she had to do was spread her legs and one look at the sight of her glistening folds made him rush his movements. His body was a glorious maze of muscles and scars--a picture perfect warrior. Dark curls that matched the hair around his cock swirled around his chest and trailed a path down his stomach. An ancient kind of power and strength radiated off of him. Gods, did she want this man inside of her.

Geralt gave her only a few seconds to take in his naked form before he was on top of her, his mouth devouring hers. His tongue was hungry and demanding as it pushed past her lips and collided with her own. She moaned into his mouth as he ground her hips against hers, his cock rubbing against her clit and sending electricity through her veins. Her arousal spiked, and suddenly she could feel her fangs coming out, and before Geralt could break the kiss, she bit his bottom lip. They both moaned--him at the sensation of being bit for the first time, surprised that it could be so arousing for the victim; and her because his Witcher blood was the finest wine she’d ever tasted. Her legs clenched around his hips as she swallowed the first drop of his blood.

It was then that he chose to plunge deep into her folds. She released a cry of pleasure that made the walls shake. Her walls squeezed around him as he continued to enter her, his cock going ever deeper and farther inside of her. Geralt muttered something in a language Rosa didn’t recognize, but she got the message clear enough from the tone: he was loving this as much as she was. The pain of his cock splitting her open was a welcome hurt. It turned her on and made her walls clench even tighter around his length, which only made his growls and moans deepen.

“Fuck me, Witcher,” she cried out.

He obliged her. His hips began to move at an exhilarating rate and the sensation of his cock penetrating her at such an inhuman speed threw her over the edge in a matter of moments. She threw her head back as she cried out, her fangs only elongating further as she came around his unrelenting cock.

Even after the waves of ecstasy calmed inside of her, Geralt didn’t stop fucking her. His hands had moved to her hips in a deathly grip. She was sure to have bruises from where he held her.

“Let me drink from you,” she cried out.

Without even stopping his thrusts, he tilted his head to the side, inviting her to suck at his throat. She pulled him closer to her and clamped her mouth around the soft skin of his throat, letting her fangs break the skin slowly. His movements became sloppy as she began to drink from him, as if it were as much a turn on for him as it was for her. She drank mouthful after mouthful of his sweet nectar. Her entire body lit on fire as they attacked each other, her with her mouth, and him with his cock. This was how she wanted to die, she decided--her mouth around his throat, him balls deep inside of her. It was the closest to heaven she’d ever get.

Geralt let out a broken moan as his cock spasmed inside of her. A second later his hot seed poured inside of her, dripping down her legs and onto the bed. Geralt came longer than most men did, which must have been another aspect of the Witcher mutation, but she loved it, reveled in every second of it. And when he was done, he collapsed on top of her. She pulled her mouth back and forced her fangs to retract. Blood dripped down his neck and dried on his shoulder.

“I didn’t realize you had a biting kink,” she murmured minutes later.

“Neither did I.” He was on his back beside her now, his eyes closed and a droopy smile on his face.

“We’ll have to do this again sometime,” she said, admiring the few of a Witcher fucked out beside her.

He let out a humm of agreement, and then his breaths deepened and slowed. She fell asleep beside him, a smile plastered onto her face. It was the best sleep she’d had in decades.

#geralt of rivia #geralt of rivia smut #geralt the witcher #geralt smut #vampire x witcher #the witcher #the witcher smut

[this-file-has-been-redacted]

okay so again, not a request, but those are still in progress. one of these days i’m actually going to finish those. but for now, i come bearing a Sam piece. this one is pretty heavy and is entirely about the death of a major character, so if you’re not in the right headspace to read angst right now, i wouldn’t read this one. take care of yourself first, this will be here later when you’re in a better place if you still want to read it <33

  By the time he met them, they were already gone. They had two feet out the door and they were lingering only long enough to retrieve a forgotten wallet before they left. They’d always had that air about them, of someone who was never meant to last, and theirs was the special kind of beauty that could only be possessed by someone so determined to burn. By the time he fell for them, they were just an echo, gone before the light left their eyes. A dying star on the brink of a supernova. He could see it coming, but expecting an explosion doesn’t soften the blow, and now all he’s left with is the aftermath.    Now, as they lay limp in his arms, their face the soft, muted color of ash, Sam wonders why it had to be them. He’d always been so good at separating himself from everyone else. Why, then, did he have to let himself fall for this wolf, so hellbent on self-destruction? Time with them always felt like sitting inside a house, watching a bird throw itself against the glass. He hated it. God, how he hated it, but at the same time he wanted nothing more than to catch them, open the window and let them in and keep them safe. He’d tried so hard to keep them safe.   Shifters weren’t immortal. Sam knew that. He had eternity and they didn’t, and he’d known that from the start, known they were going to die, one day. But it wasn’t supposed to be today. He wasn’t supposed to be combing his fingers through their hair, staining his hands with the blood that hadn’t yet stopped leaking from the gashes slashed across their soft skin, and they weren’t supposed to be still like this, stiller than he’d ever seen them, even in sleep. They weren’t supposed to be staring unseeingly up at him with eyes that no longer held the bright spark he’d become so fond of.    That spark had always terrified him. They had so much fire and so little caution in them and it turned their entire existence into a waiting game, like the universe was taking bets on what would kill them first. Every time they’d rushed head-first into what anyone else would call a suicide mission, every time they’d stumbled home, covered in blood and still cracking jokes, with that glint in their eye and that wild look that came with the high of combat he wondered whether or not they even cared if they made it out, and the fact that, for the last few weeks, he hadn’t even known the answer had terrified him right up to the end.    Right up to now, kneeling in the ruined foyer of the house of some vampire he’d never met in some town he’d never heard of with the faint voices of Department agents drifting past him, unnoticed, from another room. He doesn’t have to be scared anymore. He doesn’t have to be afraid of getting that call from some somber-voiced investigator, or of seeing them walk out the door for the last time, or of being just a few minutes too late because it all finally happened. He finds he much prefers the fear to the reality.   The scent of blood is thick in the air, and it twists Sam’s stomach because he knows that smell. He recognizes the odd, familiar combination of tangy and sweet and it brings him back to that first time, kneeling by their couch and promising them he’d fix it. He’d promised he’d make it better and they’d promised they would be more careful. He’d held up to his end.   Some fifteen feet away lies Quinn, splayed out on the carpet, barely recognizable but for the sharp fangs and silver eyes and the distinctive scar running across his cheek. They’d gotten what they wanted, what they’d been working towards almost obsessively for months on end, but at what cost? He’d taken them down with him and now there is nothing left but smears of blood on expensive carpet and slashes in the paintings on the wall.   Sam takes Darlin’s hand in his and looks down in surprise at the feel of cool metal. The ring he gave them a few months ago, heavy and gold and intricately engraved, still rests comfortably around their finger. It’s something he’d gotten when he was a kid, a gift his father had given to him, and he’d let them have it as a sort of good luck charm, and as a way to keep them thinking of him when they went places that his responsibilities wouldn’t let him follow. They’d kept it with them. They’d kept it with them until the very end.    It’s such a small detail, but the ring is Sam’s undoing, sending heaving, silent sobs through him. He doesn’t make a sound, but his shoulders shake and his tears fall, and all he wants is to go back and tell them not to go. Just this time, stay, he could’ve said, you can go again next week. But just this time, rest a while. Just this time, spend the week with me. But he didn’t say it. That and so many other things. Now he never can.    If any of the Department agents witness Sam’s grief, they don’t say anything about it. If they need to collect the body and bring it back to the morgue, they don’t say anything about that, either. No one says anything about anything, and if anyone passes through the room, Sam doesn’t notice.   Later, when the vice grip on his heart has eased enough to breathe, Sam stands. He wipes his eyes and breathes in deep, looking down at the wolf one last time before he walks away. He doesn’t look back as the Department team files in, covering the body and beginning the cleanup. When he gets in his truck and pulls out of the driveway, he doesn’t look over his shoulder at the last door they ever walked through. He just keeps driving, racing the sun back home.

  Days later, in the backseat of a car with darkly tinted windows, tucked safely away from the sun, Sam looks on as a group of wolves stands in the graveyard in their mourning clothes, their heads bowed but their eyes dry. Only two of them are crying, an older woman and a young man, standing at the front. Sam can’t help but notice their hair and their eyes, both of them bearing a striking resemblance to the body in the casket, not that he can see it. The box is closed, the damage too gruesome to be covered up with some makeup and a good outfit. At the front a priest gives a bland, impersonal sermon. Afterwards, a couple of pack members speak about how hard they worked, how kind they were. How much they’ll be missed.    Sam scoffs at the dispassion of it all, the almost business-like way the service goes on. None of these people knew them, not really. They’re here out of obligation. He pushes down the anger that arises at the thought and forces himself to keep listening.    When it’s over they lower the casket into the ground and the finality of it all threatens to unravel Sam all over again, but he holds it together. When the car pulls away, leaving the graveyard behind, he sighs and lets his head fall back, his mind drifting back to the ring, now six feet underground. He hopes it does its job. He hopes, wherever they are now, it keeps them thinking of him, even in a place where he can’t follow. 

#redacted asmr #redacted asmr sam #sam x darlin #angst #writing #my writing #fanfiction #seriously though #be careful with this one #i'm definitely going to go listen to some sam videos after i post this #idk it might not hit as hard to read as it did to write #but it's a really heavy one this time #i actually finished a piece though!!! #i hardly ever do that!! #i'm kind of proud of this one tbh

[reaperlight]

Do you have any lawryght headcanons?

@greenpactbosmer Thanks for the ask!

Headcanons... ooh boy, well...

(Oh and I saw you had another ask there too but I think I may have misunderstood the prompt/what was being asked? In any case I should probablt edit the paragraphs of brain vomit that came out of that but until then here's more paragraphs of brain vomit, uh... sorry 😔)

Anyway...

Headcanons for lawryght can vary greatly from fic verse to fic verse but let's see curtent HC generally...

These three getting together in a canon-like universe...

The RyukxLight will either be established relationship or at the very least Ryuk is more helpful to Light and his plans than in canon to the point Light feels secure enough in his position so he can give L a chance and not feel like he has to kill him immediately so a relationship could actually develop between Light and L beyond "oh no, he's hot... I still have to kill him." (Also expect Light to be even more arrogant and insufferable because he thinks he's immortal and has the power of deathgod and anime on his side.)

Ryuk and Light getting together: And then they were roommates (oh my they were roommates) and there was only one bed--Shinigami don't really need to sleep but Light doesn't know that and the bed is comfy so Ryuk doesn't fell the need to tell him.

They are both extremely bored. Ryuk is absolutely fascinated with this human--he may not be on Light's side (or so he claims) but the entertainment value is beyond his wildest dreams. He is smitten, even if he doesn't admit it. If Light is curious about something hell try at least once... Or Light may be trying to get free Shinigami eyes out of him and they catch feelings.

L enters the picture... Ryuk doesn't mind sharing 1. Hes immortal and bored and... two interesting humans! This is so cool! 2. Shinigami don't have the same ideas about monogamy. 3. Headcanons about Ryuk vary depending on if rule 36 valid up to this point in the ficverse. (I.e. Chad!Ryuk vs. Virgin!Ryuk)

L and Ryuk--L is very disturbed to learn that his case actually has a supernatural component and is more leery of Ryuk than of Light at first. This lasts for all of the moment it takes to remember that Light is Kira and Ryuk is afraid of tennis balls.

After 5 minutes of soul searching, L can admit to himself he has a thing for monsters--both internal and external.

Assuming they are all alive and this takes place in early canon this shippable version of L is probably more interested in having fun then bringing Kira to justice. Either that or he has become disillusioned with the status quo or hurt and and wants revenge to the point that he's willing to entertain Light's way of doing things.

If its post series, maybe Ryuk is bored so goes looking for Light in Mu and ends up pulling both Light and L out of Mu because their souls are intertwined and once restored as humans or Shinigami or something shippable in the afterlife then it's just learning to rely on each other as they forge a new arrangement in the Shinigami realm.

Top/bottom it's not assigned seating Regardless of bedroom positions or what arrangement they have out of the bedroom Light is the dom/one in charge of this arrangement in bed... but subs L and Ryuk unionize and gang up on him. Light is a dom in bed but not always a top. L as a sub but not always bottom. Ryuk as a service top or power bottom. Ryuk doesn't really feel pain like humans do and will go with whatever he and his partners find interesting.

Contrary to rumor Light and L aren't always fighting over who gets to top. Fighting is for chess matches, clashes of ideology, and the last chocolate eclaire--not the bedroom. Consent, safe words, and mutual respect are all very important.

(The safe word is vegetables)

Light is very dom. In every relationship before or since. Except there's Ryuk, looming over him. Making him feel kinda excited and confused and then theres that stupid sexy voice of his... But ryuk is the exception. (But he might let L fuck him if he asks nicely and submits to Kira's reign.)

When they sleep together Ryuk likes to keep them both wrapped in his wings. He likes being the little spoon sometimes though...

L gets Ryuk addicted to apple desserts.

Light frequently ends up cleaning up after the other two. Ryuk helps when he remembers but typically L is a brat.

Light: How can you stand to live like this?

Ryuk: I was formed in a dustbowl.

Light: Yes, it shows.

L [throwing candy wrappers on the ground]: Why are you doing that, that's what Watari is for?

Others who might potentially join the polycule under the right set of circumstances: B, Mikami, Aiber, Matsuda...

Some very noncanon AU ideas...

Superhero aus (current wips)

Winning and ruling the world(s) au (current wips)

Light gets in trouble (of either a mundane or supernatural variety) and Ryuk goes to L to ask for his help because he's the only human he can think of who would be clever enough to help Light and because of supernatural restrictions Ryuk can't save Light by himself. L is annoyed to have his fun ruined by having it confirmed that Light is Kira in this way, pissed that Light could get himself into a situation like this, and also pissed at himself that Ryuk doesn't even need to threaten him to want to risk everything to save him. After they save Light, L decides there's no point in continuing the kira case because it no longer interests him. He returns INTERPOLs money and after Light recovers from his ordeal the three go on vacation looking for something interesting but less hazardous than their previous ordeal. L becomes fascinated with the supernatural and wants to go ghost and cryptid hunting, seeking out ancient mysteries and Ryuk has plenty of leads in that. Light is still more interested in becoming god of the new world but "fine, if you guys insist..." (he doesn't want to admit he's having fun too). They drive around in L's pink crepe van huntjng ghosts, solving mysteries. Light occasionally writes the names of murderous jerks and people who are assholes to L thst they meet along the way while Ryuk laughs and L scowls in a mildly disapproving way but never really discourages him.

Au inverting the dynamics so its established relationship of lawlight first and then Ryuk joins the polycule: AU where Light and L are the same age and are childhood friends and when Light finds the Death Note they become Kira together. Ryuk is fascinated by them both and slowburn they realize their feelings for each other.

Or... Human!Ryuk and mundane college AU Ryuk is in a metal band and is probably studying art and helps rival law students Ligtt and L to chill... at least until Ryuk gets in trouble for drug possession and then Light and L compete to be his better defense counsel.

Monster AU werewolf or vampire au that's canon adjacent--Ryuk bites Light, Light goes on to monster better than Ryuk does then Light bites L, the monster hunter who falls for him...

7. Haunted house au

8. The quarantine au--Light is annoyed because now killing as Kira feels rather pointless. L is annoyed because this is boring. Ryuk is having a blast because they're playing with him a whole lot more. If L and Light doesn't just use the L screen, Ryuk is always in the background, having floating, juggling apples photobomb the zoom calls.

And suddenly Ryuk is important.

Ryuk runs errand for them because he has no danger of catching the plague. They play video games, watch movies, bitch at each other, and get into pointless arguments over stupid things.

Also L makes them custom masks modeled after Ryuk's fangs just because.

Other ideas:

Wammys house and lawryght

Option 1: Wammy's house tooth rotting fluff, adopting all the orphans

Option 2: Wammy's house evil, B was right. It's really just about being raised as a weapon. It's like the stormtrooper program for genius orphans that may not have actually been orphans before the institute took an interest in them.

Option 3: Wammy's house complicated. The institute really is trying to do better, is the best place for the kids and while not perfect its closest thing to home/family they have.

Lawryght and Morality

These 3 can be awful enablers of each other's worst qualities. Then again...

Light: Huh, Ryuk thinks we're going too far. Maybe we should rethink this.

L [already has the prisoner tied up and being forced to listen to polka music on repeat]: But where's the fun in that?

Finding a home together

With Kira and a Shinigami as his boyfriend L feels secure enough to do more normal things he's been denied all his life.

With Ryuks help, Light finds the names of all of L's major enemies and gets to writing in the Death Note.

Light: Be mad if you want. I'm not sorry.

L tries to be mad, and fails. He can't help but feel relieved that they're gone.

He might even entertain the thought of having a permanent address.

He still enjoys traveling though.

Also L gets a kitten

The cat loves chasing Ryuk's feathers.

The cat likes Light's lap the best because Light went out of his way not to look at the cat.

....

Ah, that was probably way too long. But thanks for letting me ramble! 😆

#death note #lawryght #detectivedeathgods #light yagami #ryuk #l lawliet #headcanons #headcanon #fanfic #fanfiction #comedy #crack fic #dn crack #crack treated seriously #lawlight #ryght #terraito #deathgods #death note au

[symphonyofthewrite]

Inverted Recurrence

Fandom: Castlevania Symphony of the Night (but with the Netflix series characterizations)

Summary: It's been three hundred years since Alucard saw Trevor and Sypha. When he sees a version of them in the inverted coliseum...he just can't seem to win the fight against them.

So he loses. Over and over.

(The inverted coliseum boss fight from Symphony of the Night, but with the Netflix series characters)

Notes:  First of all, warning! (As evidenced by the summary) there will be swearing in this fic!

This is a fic for the game Symphony of the Night. However I used the characterizations of the characters from the Netflix series. (This is also why Grant is not present, even though he's present in the actual fight. I wanted to include him, especially because they took him out of the show...but because they took him out of the show, and because I have yet to play Dracula's Curse, I didn't feel like I could properly characterize him to have him in the scene.)

In case you've only watched the show, but are still interested in reading, I'll put a little summary of the things you need to know about the game in order to read in the replies!!

If you enjoyed this I'd really appreciate it if you could leave a comment and/or reblog! They make my week, and really help motive me to keep writing multi-chapter fics like this one!

I’ve also posted this on my general writing blog @antihero-writings if you want to check it out there!!

Chapter 1:

Alucard hit the ground of the save room…which happened to be the ceiling, breath and heartbeat crawling through his chest like fire ants.

“Well…fuck.”

******

Fire consumed the werewolves’ snarls, echoing through the stone hall, and he continued up the corridor without a glance back.

Alucard paused to think; count the rooms.

He wiped the blood off his sword—well, not his sword, that is to say, he still didn’t have his mother’s sword back from that dickhead, Death. Due to this, he was using one he had borrowed from one of those green skeletons upon its second death.

“Are you prepared?” he asked his fairy familiar. “If my thinking is correct we’re coming upon the main part of the coliseum. This could get”—he adjusted his grip on the sword and inclined his head to the side. “Interesting.”

She folded her arms and bowed. “I am prepared for whatever comes our way, Master Alucard.”

He grinned back. “Good.”

He marched forward, and, sure enough, the upside-down version of the coliseum center revealed itself. The same room where he had fought the Shaft-possessed-Richter in the right-side-up castle. The sconces spilled blue fire endlessly to the ground, fixed to columns that didn’t reach the ‘floor’, in a circle around an overthrown throne. A throne which held no one now, as if he were a gladiator in an upturned universe, a slave of the games, watched by an invisible sadistic god, hosting this for their own pleasure.

The doors shut themselves behind, and in front, of him with a loud thump, closing off his exits.

Yup. Interesting.

He stood on guard, aiming the sword at the pentagonal spinning coffins in the center of the room, his mind cycling through what might step out;

Let’s see, skeletons? Zombies? Ghosts? No it’d be something more advanced than that. Maybe a dragon would walk out? Or maybe he’d fight the embodiment of emperor Nero himself? That might be fun.

When their lids creaked forward and the first enemy stepped out it did not, in fact, have rotting skin, or a malevolent grin…It looked like a man.

A man with brown hair, blue eyes—one of which a scar fell across—sauntered over to Alucard, the Belmont crest gleaming on his chest.

Alucard froze, eyes widening.

The man groaned when he saw Alucard—but not in an undead way, more like a man who was annoyed—and, unlike many of the monsters, he spoke:

“Well if it isn’t the cockwart, Alucard.”

Alucard fought werewolves and demons, things that spit fire, things that turned him to stone, things that would eat his soul out if given the chance, and he didn’t even break a sweat. Not much could make his heart hammer these days.

But this—

“Trevor! What have I told you about speaking your mind?!” Alucard had been so focused on Trevor he hadn’t noticed the other enemy: a woman in blue smacked Trevor on the back of the head.

“Uhh that it’s what everyone should do it all the time?” he rubbed his head.

She pulled on his ear.

“Okay, okay! Easy on the moneymaker!”

Alucard’s eyes stayed open wide, as if he was afraid if he closed them they’d disappear and he’d remember he was dreaming. The golden irises oscillating beneath waves of memory, the sword at his side twitching.

“Master Alucard?” the fairy’s voice was muffled behind the sound of his heartbeat.

He fought reanimated flesh, and first-animated metal, he fought things straight out of books, things he wished were mere fantasy, and never once did he stand paralyzed.

But this…this made his blood thump cold and relentless in his ears. This made his heart start churning with questions, his head ache with memory. This made his throat tighten with sentimentality long forgotten.

The fairy couldn’t hear the words he breathed.

Three hundred years is a long time. Even if he spent most of it asleep, time has a way of weighing heavy on the chest.

They were arguing amongst themselves, while the fairy was asking him questions, but he couldn’t make out any of the words. As if he was beneath many tons of water, the pressure slowly crushing him.

Being immortal has never been the blessing humanity thought. Watching your friends, your family, die is hard enough, but when you know you won’t be joining them wherever they’re going for a long time, if at all, things get more complicated. The pain, then, isn’t just loss…it’s the knowledge of what you’ll never lose. Watching your friends die, while you, standing at their death bed, look the same as you did when you met them sixty years ago, like you’re taunting them, like you’re some cosmic joke… Watching them die, while you have millennia left to spend grieving, making new friends and watching them die too, just living… it isn’t exactly something you’d spend one of your three wishes on.

Sometimes he wished he was mortal. Human. That the blade and arrow would sting more, that words would mean more, that he’d remember the things his friends told long ago, under moonlit skies. He wished he could feel something, that he could feel fear and horror and hope. That the fight would pump in his veins. That he could grow old, and die, and wouldn’t have to live a thousand more lifetimes before death took him away. Sometimes he forgot how to appreciate life; they say death is what gives life meaning, after all.

Seeing his friends from centuries ago, his friends who he had argued with, played games with, laughed, cried with. Friends who he had watched die, who he had mourned, grieved long ago back again…

“What’s the matter?” Trevor put his hands on his hips, noticing that he was standing there dumbstruck. “Cat got your tongue?”

Alucard backed up on shaky legs, biting his lip until it bled.

He was twenty years old again. Twenty years old and they were in a snowy woods speaking of God, mothers, old books, and how lonely they all were, on their way to defeat Dracula for what they didn’t realize then was only the first time.

“Master Alucard!” the fairy fluttered in front of his face—how long had she been calling him? “What’s going on?!”

His lips were sealed shut; he couldn’t answer even if he wanted to. His eyes gravitated past her to the two behind her.

It had been so long. So long since those lonely nights. Since those sunny days. So long since he’d seen their faces. Heard their voices. Seeing, hearing, them now was like medicine after years of sickness, like sobriety after spending years drunk. Like reminding himself he hadn’t made them up after all—(because sometimes it felt like he had). So long…So long since he’d been with his friends. So long since he’d had friends.

“I did want to resolve our differences.” Sypha shrugged. “But, we’re going to have to show you what we really think of you now.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself. It was nice—well uh…it was something knowing you.”

“…What?” Alucard’s breath made clouds in these snowy woods.

Trevor glanced up at him, unspooling the morning star whip—the one that he had once used to fight the night hordes with together…or at least a version of it…it didn’t look quite right.

“It’s a real shame”—he said like it wasn’t much of a shame at all—“but…we do have to kill you now.”

“We have a reputation to keep.”

“You know, vampire slayers and all. Can’t have the son of Dracula walking around.”

Alucard had to keep his breath from catching on itself and tripping.

He backed up, turning to see Sypha holding out her hands in a combat posture.

He shut his eyes and shook his head quickly, clearing the snow from his eyes, reminding himself the woods were nothing but memory; he was here, in Dracula’s upside-down castle, fighting phantoms of his friends.

They’re not real, he told himself. They’re not your friends. Trevor and Sypha are gone. They’re just one of Dracula’s tricks. He’s using them to get to you.

He felt something wrap around his leg.

“Master Alucard!”

“It’s nothing personal.” Trevor spoke, “Except if you count the fact that we’d only do this to you...because you’re the worst.” He yanked on the whip and swung Alucard by his leg into the far wall at full force.

Sypha held up her arms beads of light before her fingers, then brought them together, making spikes of ice jut out from beneath the walls, stomping towards him.

He pried himself from the wall and jumped out of their way.

Trevor threw a cross at him—one made of bones—but it came back without finding its mark.

Before Sypha could send her jet of flame at him, Alucard burst forward, knocking her down.

“Attacking poor, innocent girls now? So that’s how you want to play it, huh?”

“Who are you calling ‘poor’ and ‘innocent’?!” Sypha crossed her arms, “I can handle myself thank you very much!”

“Oh—I—uh—I didn’t mean it like that!”

Sypha scowled at him.

It was like they walked straight out of his memory. …Were they really not real?

Trevor jumped up, raising his whip.

You don’t have to do this, Alucard wanted to reason with them.

But he knew. He knew this wasn’t them. They were only a shell. A reanimated memory. Empty. There was nothing in there to reason with.

Alucard blocked his attack with his shield, and crouched down, slicing his leg, knocking him down. But before he could send the sword through his chest, Sypha raised her arm and incased him in a block of ice.

The fairy broke him out, but this had given Trevor enough time to get up, throwing another bone cross. This time it knocked Alucard down.

Sypha floated before him, ready to blast him with fire. This time Alucard teleported, slashing Trevor in the back.

“You filthy vampire bastard.”

Why them?! He wanted to demand of Dracula, but that was all-too obvious.

Alucard disappeared in a column of gold, then reappeared, opening his cloak and sending fireballs towards Trevor, who extinguished them by swinging his whip.

He dodged Sypha’s ice spears, but Trevor took this opportunity to power up, and once Alucard was out of their way he began throwing continuous knives at him--which Alucard turned into a bat to avoid.

Sypha incased him in ice for the second time, returning him to human form. The fairy broke him out.

Before Sypha could cast her next spell Alucard turned into a wolf and bowled Trevor over, leaping into the air to bite Sypha’s leg—

But before his teeth clamped down on her leg something caught in his throat—something too close to sentiment—and he fell to the floor, himself again.

In the moment’s hesitation Trevor wrapped the whip around Alucard's neck.

His eyes glinted, and his mouth quirked up. “See you in hell.”

******

“Well if it isn’t the cockwart, Alucard,” Trevor grunted as he sauntered down from the wagon, smirking.

“If it isn’t the bastard, Trevor.”

Sypha ran up to the dhampir and put her arms around him.

“It’s so good to see you again Alucard!” She released him, putting a hand on his cheek and smiling. “You haven’t changed a bit!”

“Well being half-vampire does have its benefits.”

They turned to look at Trevor, who was hanging back, rubbing the back of his head.

Sypha put her hands on her hips, raising an eyebrow at him. Trevor sighed.

“Good god, I never thought I’d say this but…” He looked at his feet. “I missed you. …You and your stupid, ugly face.”

"I have something to say to you as well.”

Alucard promptly flipped him off.

Trevor made a face, groaning, “I try to say one nice—”

Before they could blink Alucard had wrapped his arms around them, holding them so fast and so tight it nearly made them fall over.

“I missed you too. …You don’t even know how much.”

******

Alucard hit the floor of the save room—which happened to be the ceiling—at full force, the world returning like a punch to the face. Once he regained his senses, he coughed, balling his hands into fists before him, breath harsh in his throat, heavy on his chest.

“Well…fuck.”

“…Master Alucard?”

He didn’t want to talk to her. He didn’t want to talk to much of anyone. He didn’t even want to think. To be here at all, in this castle. He half wished this save room didn’t exist so he wouldn’t have to go back there and do it all over again.

She fluttered up knelt in front of him, brushing the hair from his eyes.

Those eyes flicked to her. Eyes often soft and warm…now full of cold fire.

“I hope it’s not rude of me to ask…Who were those people?”

He didn’t reply at first, dropping his gaze, letting his breath rise and fall like ocean waves ripping through him, filling his eyes with saltwater.

“…Nobody.” He murmured low.

“They…” She paused a moment, trying to figure out how to delicately phrase things, “didn’t seem like nobody.”

He sat up. “…They’re not real.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to quell the burgeoning headache. “Dracula’s just trying to fuck with me.”

“Oh, indeed, I understand that.”—He shot her a reproving glance, so she continued more delicately—“…But most of Dracula’s minions don’t look human…not to mention they don’t know you…It appears to me whoever they represent were important to you.”

He looked away. He didn't want to talk about this. Not now. Not with a creature who--however well meaning--could barely begin to understand the horrors of immortality.

“And…they did know you...right?”

He looked down to see her wringing her hands.

“What exactly are you getting at?”

“It’s just…”

It dawned on him and he smiled, shifting to his knees. “That I’m the son of Dracula.”

She opened her mouth to say something, her wings beating and stopping nervously, looking down.

“Well it is a rather strange thing for them to say isn’t it? I mean, it can’t possibly be true.”

He smirked. “What if it is?”

She fluttered up to him, examining his features closely, her mouth open the whole time.

“You are?!”

He lowered his face closer to hers so she could feel his breath, his fangs glinting, “You scared?”

“...Not scared, more confused. I mean how can Dracula have a son? And—”

He raised an eyebrow. “Would you like me to go into the details?”

“I don’t mean that!” She smacked him lightly. “I mean…How can you be his son?”

“Why can’t I be?”

“Well first of all you don’t look like him—”

“Oh? And how do you know what Dracula looks like? Have you met him?”

“Well…I…” Her eyes darted between him and the ground, apparently grappling with the idea that he knew quite well what Dracula looked like. “This castle is full of Dracula’s supporters… he seems quite persuasive.”

“I’m not sure I’d say that—over half of them are creatures without reason, or free will, enough to know, or care, who they’re following.”

“Still…he has no shortage of allies.”

“What’s your question?”

“…How are you not one of them?”

He smiled. “I like to think I have a little more sense of right and wrong than mindless beasts.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that! I just mean…you’re so kind. I wouldn’t think Dracula’s son—”

“I’m not only the son of Dracula.”

She paused, thinking, before looking up. “Your mother.” Her wings fluttered as she gained understanding, floating up to his face. “It was your mother, wasn’t it? That memory we saw. The Succubus. You said that your mother never said those things.”

“Yes, she said quite the opposite, in fact.”

She gave a sad smile. "...It sounds like you loved her very much."

He gave an almost imperceptible nod as he looked away.

"I'm...sorry that happened to her. That's ...awful. Humans can be brutes at times."

"Yes." He agreed softly, before adding, "But not always. And not all of them."

She paused herself, then began fluttering back and forth—the fairy version of pacing—trying to wrap her head around it all.

“Was she married to Dracula?”

“Yes.”

“Who was she?”

“Her name was Lisa… and she was mortal.”

“Did he love her?”

He smirked at the innocent and naïve question.

“Very much. ...Enough that he’d destroy the world for her.”

She paused, looking at the ground. “Is that why we must defeat him?”

He gave a small nod.

“It seems such a sad reason to have to kill him…for love.”

He looked off to the side, not saying anything.

“Come on.” He stood up. “It’s time for round two.”

******

Notes Cont.:

For the cartoon, I actually wrote this fic before I watched S3, so when I was trying to come up with memories for after S2 with Trevor and Sypha all I could think of was simply them arriving back at the castle. Then reading it after watching S3 I realized their reunion would probably go differently :'( ...I decided to keep it as-is because I really have no clue how that's gonna go in later seasons, and because I felt people might like reading about a nice version of them coming back to him anyways.

#castlevania symphony of the night #alucard #symphony of the night #castlevania fanfiction #castlevania alucard #alucard castlevania #castlevania fandom #adrian fahrenheit tepes #adrian tepes #trevor belmont #Sypha Belnades #castlevania fanfic #castlevania fic #castlevania sotn #sotn #castlevania games #castlevania netflix #netflix castlevania #inverted coliseum #angst #friendship #comedy #tw swearing #my writing #antihero writings

[flutteringphalanges]

                                        Mirabile Visu

Summary: Sister Agatha Van Helsing discovers she’s in over her head when a competitive game of chess ultimately results in her becoming pregnant with the child of her worst enemy, Count Dracula. Now tied by a bond deeper than blood, the two must learn to coexist and adapt in a world that could be potentially hostile towards their offspring. Parenthood has never looked so batty.

Characters: Dracula/Agatha Van Helsing

Chapter: 10 (Part One)/?

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N:  Thank you so much everyone who read and left a review for this chapter! It means the world!  Feedback is greatly loved and appreciated! Stay safe and healthy!

                                       Chapter Ten (Part One)

                                               Dracula Residence

                                                  Present Time

“Sunny, you can’t just waltz into the Harker Foundation and demand that they let your parents go without there being repercussions,” Jack tried to explain as Sorina angrily paced back and forth. “You’ll get killed!”

“I’m immortal,” she shot back. “I can’t die!”

“That’s far from the truth,” Zoe frowned, her niece not even meeting her stare. “Sorina, just because someone is immortal doesn’t mean they can’t be killed. And the fact that the Foundation was able to bring both of your parents in with,” she glanced around. “What seems to be little of a struggle is a great concern.”

“Then how exactly do you propose we get in?!” Sorina exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. “Your key card has been cancelled and I’m sure soon enough Jack’s will be too. The longer we wait, who knows what they’ll do to them! And it’s not like I’m equipped with any skills in martial arts.” She caught a quick glimpse of a look of surprise on the young man’s face. “I was locked up for decades, Jack, the only thing anyone ever taught me was how to hide and be unnoticed. Stealth. Basically, a useless trait!” She paused. “My agility is enhanced, but like I said, I’ve never been in hand to hand combat.”

“We’d need to think creatively on this one to get in,” Zoe replied, cutting through Sorina’s tirade. “And how to defend ourselves. You both know well enough that the Foundation is known for being armed and heavily guarded. Jack, I don’t suppose you have any hidden talents that may help?”

The young man paused, choosing his words carefully. “I’m good with a bat.” Both women blinked, and Jack found himself awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck. “I played baseball as a kid. Was pretty good at it too.”

“Great,” Sorina’s exhaled, voice dripping with sarcasm. “So we’re bringing ourselves and a bat to a gunfight. Brilliant. Let me go grab my butter knife and we’ll be good to go!”

She collapsed on the couch, her head resting in her hands. This was her own doing. Maybe if she hadn’t fought with her dad. Maybe if she had spent the night here. Maybe then they’d both be safe. Sorina sucked in a breath, trying to hold back tears of anger and remorse. Jack sat down beside her, putting an arm around her. Zoe watched quietly, contemplating her next move.

“I have a handgun.”

Sorina looked up from the floor and at the doctor curiously. “What?”

“I have a handgun,” she repeated. “In my dresser drawer for safety measures. Anyway, that’s beside the point.” Zoe ran a hand through her hair. “If we’re going to do this now, we best prepare how we can. This won’t be an easy feat.”

                              The Jonathan Harker Foundation

The last time Agatha stepped foot in a hospital was in 1870 during the fourth Cholera outbreak pandemic. She was but a child, eleven, when her mother fell victim to the illness. To this day, she could still visualize the crowded room of the sick and dying. The moans. Pleading. Putrid smells. But where she was now made that a distant memory. Clean. Pristine. A dirty, yellowed mattress replaced by a gleaming metal table. Her wrists and ankles bound by restraints that, no matter how hard she tugged, wouldn’t come undone.

“There’s absolutely no reason to struggle, Agatha. I promise you it’ll get you nowhere.”

Dr. Bloxham entered the room, followed by two other individuals wearing matching lab coats. One pulled a strange device by their side that the vampire didn’t recognize. She stiffened, eyes locked on the doctor’s as the woman leaned over her.

“You’ve missed over a century’s worth of technology,” the scientist explained, turning around to fiddle with the object. “Medical science has come so far from 1900. It’s incredible how humans can advance,” she paused, smirking. “We are, after all, the superior species-unlike your husband, I’m sure, would beg to differ.”

“Yet, one might wager that both can be equally as cruel,” Agatha interjected, watching as Bloxham removed a probe-like device. “This Foundation, I knew Mina personally, I doubt she ever intended it to be like this.”

“What she desired and the outcome no longer matter,” the woman said simply, pulling up the fabric of Agatha’s clothes to reveal her bare abdomen. “Anyway, the vile nature of your kind was proven when Dracula took the liberty of removing my thumb.” Bloxham, not diverting her attention away from the former nun, addressed one of the scientists. “Lubrication gel.”

The substance was cold the moment it touched the vampire’s skin. Agatha’s fingers dug into her palms as the transducer was pressed hard against her stomach. If her heart could, it’d be pumping right now. She stared darkly at Bloxham as the woman moved the object across her flesh. Suddenly, an odd swishing sound filled the room and Bloxham paused immediately.

“Well I’ll be damned,” she exhaled, mouth curving into an unsettling grin. “It has a heartbeat.” Her eyes flickered over to Agatha’s. “Like sister, like sibling. Things just became a lot more interesting…”

                                       Jack Seward’s Residence

Sorina sat curled up in the passenger seat, glancing out the window as Jack came hurrying out of his flat. It had been hours since the realization that her parents had been abducted and though she would’ve loved nothing more to immediately go in full force, Zoe had insisted they wait several hours until the next nightfall.

“Are we ready?” Jack inquired as he slipped into the back seat, his bat resting on the floor.

It was a load questioned. They were far from ready. Far from being well equipped. Hell, dawn would be making its appearance in a few hours. Time was indeed slipping away from them and Sorina could feel it like sand in an hourglass.

“We’re going to have to find a way in,” Zoe said quietly, restarting her car as they drove down the mostly empty road. “I’m sure both Jack’s and my key cards have been cancelled out.”

Sorina paused. “There’s an opening towards the top of the left wing side of the building. It feeds into the air ducts.”

“But there isn’t a ladder we can use to reach it,” the young man countered. “And even if we did, who knows if it could hold our weight.”

“I can do it.”

Both Zoe and Jack looked to Sorina, who eyed them both solemnly. Maybe she couldn’t turn into a bat or could run at an inhuman speed, but she was agile. Far more than any person she knew. If anyone could get up there, it was her.

“But what if…”

“It won’t,” she interrupted, cutting him off. “I’ll climb in and once I’m inside, I’ll figure out how to open the entrance.” Sorina offered a wry smile. “Like I’ve said before, I know the place like it’s the back of my hand.”

                            The Jonathan Harker Foundation

It felt odd. Viewing the stone building in a different light. Sorina essentially grew up within the walls of the Foundation. It had been a second home in a sense. But now that she stood outside of it, staring up at the pipe opening along with Zoe and Jack, another feeling deep within her rose. Resentment.

“I’ll send you a text when I’m in,” Sorina exhaled, looking over her shoulder. “Be ready to go. I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to keep it open.”

As she stepped forward, fingers pressed against the icy rock, she felt a hand on her arm. Turning, Sorina met Zoe’s eyes, a small glint of concern flickering within them.

“Be careful,” her aunt warned. “Promise me.”

The halfling nodded, suddenly finding it difficult to reply. Swallowing hard, she gazed upwards. With all of the confidence she could muster, she hugged the wall and began to shimmy upwards. She dared not look down, the idea of seeing how far from the ground she was made her dizzy. But in no time, she made it to the large, metal opening. Taking in a deep gulp of air, she made her way inside, darkness cloaking the atmosphere around her.

Sorina wasn’t afraid of the dark. She’d grown up in its silent embrace. She knew not of the sun, nor the light it carried. Just pictures of it. Images on television and movies. So as she made her way through the maze of pipes, she didn’t fear it. Even if she had, the determination to save her parents was far greater than a worry such as that. And it was with that ease, she found the entrance way, slipping through the grate in the ceiling and gracefully landing on the floor.

“Code,” she mumbled to herself. “Code, code, code…”

Her fingers danced on the keypad, trying not to focus on the surprise that there weren’t any guards nearby. With a satisfying click, the main entrance creaked open and she was immediately greeted to the sight of Zoe and Jack.

“You’re brilliant, Sunny,” Jack beamed.

“We’ll have time to congratulate later,” Zoe whispered. “Come on, the clock is ticking.” Sorina eyed the gun in her aunt’s hand, but said nothing. “The prison is way down the hall. Christ knows how many people are guarding it. We need to stay focused.”

As they began to make their way deeper into the bowels of the Foundation, Sorina heard the muffled sound of a discussion coming from a room nearby. Something about it made her stop, much to the alarm of Zoe. The halfling turned as her aunt hissed and crept towards the open door. Her eyes went wide at the sight. There, strapped down, guarded by two men, was her mother.

“Mum-”

A hand clamped over her mouth and Zoe yanked the girl out of plain sight as the men began to turn. Sorina struggled, finally breaking free. Her eyes were wild as she pointed towards the room.

“They have my Mum in there,” she whispered. “We have to go…”

“You can’t just run in there like that,” the doctor hissed. “You can’t be stupid about this, Sorina!”

“Then what do you suppose we do then?!” The halfling exclaimed, eyes beginning to brim with tears. “We can’t just leave her. We can’t-”

“I’ll cause a distraction,” Jack said quietly, causing both women to look at him. “I’ll distract them somehow and you go and get Agatha out.”

“Jack,” Sorina breathed. “You…”

“I’ll be fine, Sunny,” he said, offering her a small smile. “Trust me.”

She wasn’t quite sure what to expect when Jack said he had a plan for distracting the two guards who had her mother. But when he slipped away and the distant sound of a bat being struck across a wall, if she wasn’t so hellbent on saving her parents, perhaps it’d be almost comedical. Watching the enterance hopeful and relieved to see the two men actually exit, she and Zoe made a dash for the examination room.

“Mum!” Sorina cried out, hurrying to the bond woman’s side.

“Sorina?” Agatha gasped, a mixture of shock and worry on her face. “How did you…why are you here?!”

“We’re going to get you out,” her daughter promised, yanking at the restraints. “Are you hurt?! Where’s Dad?!”

“You shouldn’t be here,” Agatha scolded, sitting up as Zoe managed to figure out how to undo the locks. “It’s too dangerous.” She paused, glancing towards the door. “I’m fine. Your father was still in the cell last time I checked. Sorina, you need to leave right now.”

“No!” The halfing exclaimed, fury manifesting in her tone. “Not without you and Dad!” Sorina’s breathing was ragged and try as she might, her emotions were getting the better of her. “I’m not losing you two again!”

The sound of footsteps pounding on the marble floor caused all three women to grow silent. Suddenly, and much to everyone’s relief, it was only Jack who appeared. His hair was windswept, chest rising and falling rapidly.

“We need to get out of here,” he panted. “They’re coming.”

“I’m not leaving without my Dad,” Sorina insisted, gaze turning to her mother. “Mum…”

Agatha was silent for a moment. “I can hold them off,” she stated. “But I don’t know for how long. If things go awry,” her stare locked on Sorina. “You leave. All three of you. Do you understand?”

“But Mum, I…”

“Sorina,” she repeated, firmer this time. “I need you to listen to me. If I tell you to run, you run.”

The girl reluctantly nodded. “Okay.” As much as she hated the idea, she knew if it came down to it, she’d be forced to. “Okay.”

Sorina, Jack, Zoe, and Agatha stood side by side, the sound of shouting and hurried footsteps growing closer and closer. The halfling felt something light brush against her fingers. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that Jack was watching her. She took his hand in hers and squeezed. It was now or never. Her eyes narrowed, knees bent, and for the first time in her life, Sorina felt the blood of a vampire rush through her veins. The call of Dracula’s daughter.

#Dracula #Dracula 2020 #Dracula on Netflix #Agatha Van Helsing #Dragatha #Dracula x Agatha #Mirabile Visu

[allthehorrormovies]

A+1 - A blend of American Pie and Scream, but surprisingly better than that sounds. Outlining the plot would give away the twist, which tips its hand early on, yet ends in a gratifying manner. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Make love, not war.

Alien - A friend remarked how this film likely wouldn’t be made today. It’s shot too dark. It’s quiet, purposefully. There’s no action for much of the first half; more a study in isolated labor and worker exploitation. And there’s not a “star,” outside of teenage dreamboat Harry Dean Stanton. Actors like Sir Ian Holm Cuthbert were selected for their ability, not their stature within Hollywood, as production took place in London. As Robert Ebert said, “These are not adventurers, but workers.” We’re lucky it was made, supposedly, in part because the success of Star Wars pushed the studio to quickly release their own space movie. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Sigourney Weaver is the ultimate Final Girl.

Aliens - The deliberate, slow pace of Alien is replaced by James Cameron’s grandiose action, backed by four times the original budget. Like Terminator 2: Judgment Day, it’s amazing that both films avoid “the disease of more.” Cameron’s characters are too often weighed down by punch-line dialogue, but all the elements together somehow work. Ripley’s character begins to move past being a simple pilot and into a warrior woman, for better and worse. The studio originally tried to write her out of the sequel due to a contract dispute, but Cameron thankfully refused to make the film without her. There are people out there who prefer Aliens to Alien, and that’s fine. They are wrong, but that’s fine. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien³ - David Fincher has famously disowned his directorial debut, citing studio deadlines for its poor quality. Compared to the first two films, it certainly is a failure. Though gorier, the scenes with the digital alien look terrible upon re-viewing. The various writers and scripts, some potentially interesting—especially William Gibson’s version, and changing cinematographers and the insertion of Fincher late into production doomed the project from the start. All that said, the movie itself isn’t terrible—parts are even good, but what feels like a midway point in Ripley’s saga is ultimately her end, and that feels cheap. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien: Covenant - The maddening mistakes of Prometheus absent, this sequel is a tense, action-packed killer of a flick. Scott claims a third prequel is in the works that will tie everything back to Alien, which is . . . fine? It’s just that the first film was so great and everything else since then seems so unnecessary. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien Resurrection - The aliens look better than ever before, but Joss Whedon’s dialogue is simply annoying and the casting is horrible. Ripley has super powers and kills her large adult alien son. Winona Ryder decides crashing a space ship into Paris, killing untold millions, is the best way to get rid of the aliens for some reason. It’s fucking dumb and cost $70 million to make. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. In the special edition intro, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet says he didn’t change much in the re-release because he was proud of the theatrical version. Baffling. 

Amer - This Belgian-French film is a tribute to the Italian tradition of giallo, a stylized, thriller told in three sections that directors like Suspiria’s Dario Argento pioneered. Mostly wordless, there’s not much plot, more a series of moments in a women’s life revolving around terrifying, sexual moments that ends in murder and madness. There are some terrific scenes, but it’s more of an art piece than movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

An American Werewolf in London - Funny and scary all at once, setting the bar almost impossibly high for all that followed. Rick Baker's special effects catapult this movie into greatness. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Ebert was right, though; it doesn’t really have an ending. 

Annihilation - Perhaps more of a sci-fi thriller than a horror movie. But due to some terrifying monsters scenes, I’m going to include it. Apparently writer/director Alex Garland wrote the screenplay after reading the first book in Jeff VanderMeer’s Southern Reach trilogy, giving the movie a different overall plot. Garland’s sleek style that made Ex Machina so wonderful is replaced by “The Shimmer,” which gives the film a strange glow. The ending relies too much on digital special effects that looked more gruesome in earlier segments, detracting from its intended impact. Still, a few key scenes, especially the mutated bear, are downright terror-inducing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I first found the constant flashbacks unnecessary, but viewed as a refraction on Portman’s mind as well as her body make them more forgiving.

The Babadook - Creepy and nearly a perfect haunted horror movie, except for some final tense moments that too quickly try to switch to sentimental, which leaves their earnestness falling flat. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Dook. Dook. Dook.

The Babysitter (2017) - One of Netflix’s original movies, this one pays off in gore and borrows heavily from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World-style jokes. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Meh. It’s cheesy and cliché, but whaddaya gonna do?

Backcountry - Don’t be fooled thinking this is like Jaws “but with a bear,” as I did. Unsympathetic characters and zero tension make this movie a drag to watch. At the start, you think, “Who cares if these assholes get eaten by a bear? They wandered into bear country without a map.” By the end, you’re actively cheering for the bear to eat the boyfriend and only a little sympathetic for the lead character. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. To her credit, Missy Peregrym does a fine job of being a mostly lone protagonist.

Basket Case - Cult director Frank Henenlotter‘s debut starts as a creepy, bloody horror movie, but staggers after showing the monster too soon and then tries to fill time with unnecessary backstory and extended scenes of screams and blood that would have otherwise been eerily good if executed more subtly. Despite not being very good, it’s at least somewhat interesting and kind of impressive considering its low budget. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Battle Royal - I’m not convinced this is a horror movie, it’s more just a gory action flick. But hey, oh well. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun, but not as great as many people seem to believe.

The Beyond - Considered one of Lucio Fulci’s greatest films, it might be a bit disappointing to newcomers of his work. Certainly the style and impressive gore are at their highest, but the muddled plot and poor dubbing distract from the overall effect. Fabio Frizzi‘s score is, for the most part, a great addition, however, certain key moments have an almost circus-like tone, which dampens what should be fear-inducing scenes. It’s easy to see why some fans absolutely love this movie while some critics absolutely hate it. In the end, it’ll please hardcore horror fans, but likely bore others. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Beyond the Gates - Two estranged brothers are sucked into an all-too-real game of survival after finding a mysterious VHS board game following the disappearance of their father. The plot is fun and original, but the lead actors aren’t all that engaging and the special effects look rather outdated for a 2016 release. Still, it’s an enjoyable watch. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Black Christmas - A slasher that starts out with potential, but never gets all that scary or gory, though it’s well made. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Margot Kidder gets a kid drunk.

Black Sheep (2006) - A hilarious, gory take on zombie sheep. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Black Sunday - The Mask of Satan (aka Black Sunday) is totally my new superhero/metal band name. If you're a fan of older horror, this one is not-to-miss. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Vengeance, vampires, Satan worship, castles, curses, and a buxom heroine, this movie is pretty damn dark for a 1960's black & white film.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter - Scores points for a couple of horrific scenes and a fairly good switcheroo, but mostly too slowly paced to capture the viewer’s attention. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Emma Roberts continues her path to being the modern Scream Queen.

The Birds - Hithcock’s film was, by no means, the first horror movie. German, Japanese, and UK directors had explored witches, demons, and the classic monsters decades earlier. But, The Birds is a landmark film, like Psycho, for pioneering a new wave of modern horror. It was, perhaps, the first time female sexuality and ecological revenge had been combined to create an unsettling tale with an ambiguous ending. And the rather graphic scenes of found corpses, combined with a minimalist score, are nearly as shocking today as when the film was first released. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Braindead - It's Bill Pulman and Bill Paxton in a 1980s B-horror; what more do you need? Most people won't enjoy this campy fart of nonsense, but try pulling your TV outside and getting good and drunk. Anything's good then. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. “The universe is just a wet dream."

The Brood - No where near as polished as Scanners or Videodrome, but still a creepy, well-made film. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

A Bucket of Blood - This black & white 1959 film from Roger Corman is more dark comedy than horror, but it’s a absurdly fun critique of beatnik culture written by Corman’s partner on Little Shop of Horrors. Dick Miller gives a great performance, and with a run time of about an horror, the pacing feels relatively quick for an older film. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Byzantium - The tale of two British vampires who live like wandering gypsies, setting up a low-rent brothel in a seaside town despite being immortal badasses because the all-powerful, all-male secret vampire club is trying to kill them, because . . . no girls allowed? It’s unclear. The vampires are of the more modern type—they go out during the day and receive their curse from a geological location than from one another. Still, overall the movie is better than it has to be. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Cabin Fever - Eli Roth’s directorial debut isn’t awful, but it certain could have been better considering Roth credits Carpenter’s The Thing as its inspiration. The homophobic jokes date the movie more than the alt-rock soundtrack and the repetitive scenes reminding viewers of how the mysterious disease spreads (at apparently differing rates depending on the character) during the conclusion end up creating a weird kind of plot hole. To his credit, some of the nods to The Thing are OK. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever - That Ti West made this pseudo-campy and outright bad movie during the same period that he made The House of the Devil is perplexing. The style, pace, and subtly that make The House of the Devil an enjoyable film are nonexistent in this cash-grab sequel. West apparently hated the final cut and requested his name be removed from the project. That said, I kind of like this movie better than the original. I’ve always found Roth’s praise of his directorial debut to be odd, as it’s not very good. For what it’s worth, this movie isn’t trying to be anything other than what it is: a tasteless, bad horror movie. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Retcons the plot hole in the first movie, at least.

The Cabin in the Woods - As good of a spoof of the horror genre as one could hope. Stereotypical with an O'Henry twist at every turn, this movie is good for an afternoon viewing, much like Tucker & Dale vs Evil. Without giving much away, if you think about it, The Cabin In the Woods is like a weird PSA about how marijuana will destroy all of mankind. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun and gory with something for everyone.

Candyman - Decades later, it’s not as easy to see why Candyman was such a landmark movie. It’s a bit slow, stumbles in places, and some of the acting is only serviceable. However, the story itself (based on Clive Baker’s original) is—on paper at least—good. Critics at the time were rightfully hesitant to praise a movie simply for having a black villain, especially when his origin is based on racial violence, but Tony Todd’s portrayal is so terrifying it launches the character into one of the all time great horror monsters. Add in Philip Glass’s soundtrack and Candyman reigns among other classics without being a top contender. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Carrie - I saw this movie on TV a long time ago, but I had forgotten much of the film, especially the opening scene of slow motion nudity (aren't these girls supposed to be in high school?!). The remake of this movie is likely going to be bad, but the original is so good I'll probably go see it. What can be said? Pig's blood. Fire. Religious indoctrination. Sexual overtones. There's a reason Brain de Palma's version of Steven King's story became so culturally important. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. This movie holds up, even today. 

Carrie (2013) - Though nothing is glaringly bad, and the added back-story decently pulled off by Julian Moore as the mother, almost every scene is a shadow of the original. Which is unfortunate considering that the remake of Let The Right One In managed to find a somewhat more unique tone. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Largely unnecessary.

The Changeling - George C. Scott does a fine job as a mourning husband haunted by an unfamiliar spirit. Not the most exciting movie, but pretty decent. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. It might’ve ranked higher, but there are no half stars here.


Cheerleader Massacre - This movie looks like someone shot it in their backyard with an earl 90s handheld camcorder . . . in high school. This is just embarrassing, for me too. The actors seem to be exotic dancers or adult film stars, who haven’t been asked back for a shift in a while. Alright, I skipped through this because the quality was so low. At around minute 41 there's a bathtub scene with three naked women, which culminates in one licking chocolate sauce off each other’s breasts. Some people die. Two of the naked women survive, I think. The house they all go to in the beginning of the movie - a ski lodge, I guess - burns down, or doesn't. Whatever. 0 out of 5 pumpkins. Just watch actual porn.

Child’s Play - While only OK, I understand how this became a franchise. Melted Chucky is terrifying. The villain can hop from vessel to vessel, unfortunately through some kind of voodoo racist bullshit. The characters are shallow, but serviceable. For such a big budget movie, it’s weird that it ends so abruptly. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Children of the Corn - Damn, this movie is boring. Linda Hamilton does the World's Least Sexy Birthday Striptease. The characters are joking quite a bit having just run over a child, whose dead body is rattling around in the trunk. What was the casting call like for this movie? "Wanted: Ugly children. Must look illiterate." All in all, things turn out pretty good for our protagonists. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. For something that spurred at least five other movies, this was remarkably uninspiring. 

City of the Living Dead - The dialogue is awkward and the plot a bit convoluted, but the special effects hold up and the overall story is good. The first of Lucio Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy. Apparently when the movie was screened in L.A., Fulci was booed. 3 of 5 pumpkins. Poor Bob the Simple Pervert.

Climax - Gaspar Noé is known for making viewers feel as uncomfortable possible with his experimental style film making. Which is fine. But that discomfort rarely lands to move me outside the initial shock. Climax is, surprisingly, more like a Suspiria remake than the actual 2018 remake. That, however, doesn’t make it good. The really shocking moments aren’t all that shocking and the cultural commentary isn’t very deep. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just, well, unnecessary. The dance scenes are extraordinary, so at least it’s got that going for it. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Color Out of Space - An enjoyable, albiet uneven, film that does a lot with little. A head-trip type of home invasion movie that pulls you in. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Conjuring - It’s easy to see why so many people love this movie. It’s well-acted, it has jump-out-of-your-seat scares, and incorporates several classic fear elements. Considering the mediocre, at best, tiredly worn horror movies that slump to torture porn for shock value coming out recently, The Conjuring stands above its peers. Still, there’s nothing original about the movie. 3 out 5 pumpkins. 

The Conjuring 2 - Billed as more shocking than the original, this sequel likely lands better in theaters with it’s jump-cut scares and action flick sequences. On the home screen, however, the overly dramatic elements are too far flung to seem like a haunting based on true events. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. 

Creep (2014) - Nails the P.O.V. angle without going too far down the overly-used “found footage.” Mark Duplass is terrifying and without his ability to carry the film, the entire concept could have easily fallen flat. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Creep 2 - Mark Duplass pleasantly surprises with a sequel that, while not as *ahem* creepy as the first, builds out the world of his serial killer in a manner that is engaging and ends with the potential for more. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Crimes of Passion - Technically it’s an “erotic thriller,” but given Ken Russell in the director’s chair and Anthony Perkins as the villain, I’m adding it to this list. Unfortunately, it’s not a great film. Kathleen Turner surpasses over acting in some scenes, and the rest of the cast is pretty forgettable. If the plot revolved around Perkins’s character, it might have been more of a horror flick. Instead revolves around loveless marriage and the fucked up issues of sexuality in America, attempting to say . . . something, but never really making a point. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Russell has got an obsession with death dildos. I don’t know what to do with that information. Just an observation.

Crimson Peak - Guillermo del Toro is a complicated director. He’s created some truly remarkable films, but has also created some borderline camp. Crimson Peak splits the difference, much in the same way Pacific Rim does. If you’re a deep fan of a particular genre, in this case Victorian-era romance, then the movie can be an enjoyable addition to the category with its own voice. If you’re not, then the movie’s more eye-roll-inducing moments are less a nod to fandom and more of an uninvited addition to what could be a straight forward film. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Beautiful, but lacking.

Cronos - This del Toro film is a must-see for any fan of his current work. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Even if you're not usually a fan of foreign films, you'll likely appreciate this modern take on the vampire mythology.

Dagon - To be honest, I feel like I should watch this one again. It’s a bit of a jumbled mess, but there are some wacky, gory moments at the end. Similar in tone and style to Dead and Buried. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Seriously, like the last 20 minutes cram so much plot it’s just a series of wtf moments until hitting incest and then nothing really matters.

Darling - Well shot in beautiful black and white with an excellence score, Darling really should receive a better score. However, it fails to be more than the sum of its parts. Borrowing liberally from Kubrick’s one-point perspective and Polanski’s Repulsion in nearly every other way, the film is decent, but fumbles in deciding whether to convince the audience of a clear plot, leaving viewers with closure, yet unsatisfied. Still, worth viewing. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Daughters of Darkness - A Belgian/French erotic vampire film that isn’t as erotic or vampiric as one might hope. Still, legend Delphine Seyrig shines so brightly, it’s catapults are relatively boring film into near greatness. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Dawn of the Dead - The best zombie movie ever made. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Day of the Dead - George A. Romero’s end to a near-perfect trilogy isn’t as good as its predecessors, but it’s gorier and somehow more depressing, even with the ending. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Dead and Burried - Starts with a bang, but lags in the middle. The ending tries too hard to surprise you, yet, by the time it’s over you kind of don’t care. Surprisingly well acted and good, creepy tale. Might not be everyone’s bag, but if you’re a tried-and-true horror fan, you’ll enjoy the movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: The movie was written by Dan O’Bannon, famed for writing Alien. O’Bannon worked with John Carpenter on a short in film school, quit being a computer animator on Star Wars to be a screenwriter, and became broke and homeless after attaching himself to Jodorowsky’s doomed Dune. He later went on to direct The Return of The Living Dead and write Total Recall. 

Dead Snow - A Nazi zombie bites off a dude's dick. Do you really need any other details? 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Germans be crazy.

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead - Not as good as its predecessor, but still fun. Plus, more children die. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Why all the gay jokes, though?

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats - OK, my first nit-pick is that the bed doesn’t eat people so much as it dissolves people. But it still makes chewing sounds? Whatever. A bizarre concept that swings for seriousness and utterly fails due to its lack of plot and extremely low budget. Kinda of weird, but ultimately pretty boring. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

Death Spa - Hilariously bad. Super 80s. I can’t say this is a good film, but I would recommend watching it for the kitsch value. What if a ghost haunted a gym? Instant money maker. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: the project came about due to shepherding from Walter Shenson, who got rich producing A Hard Day’s Night and Help!, and the lead actor, who plays a gym manager, was an actual gym manager in L.A. at the time.

Deathgasm - Imagine if Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was about a New Zealand metal band and not as good, but still pretty OK. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Deep Red (aka Profondo Rosso, aka The Hatchet Murders) - Dario Argento’s 1975 film is more polished than 1977′s Suspiria, which is a bit surprising. However, that doesn’t necessarily make it a better film. Where Suspirira’s fever dream colors and superior soundtrack, also by Goblin, shines, Deep Red doesn’t quite land. The camera work here is better, though, as is much of acting. But there’s a lot of let downs, such as the opening psychic bowing out and never really coming up again, the boorish male lead and oddly timed humor, and the final reveal, which is anti-climatic. Still, an overall great horror movie. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Def by Tempation - I really enjoyed this film, despite it not being the most skillful directed or the most incredible script. The plot is compelling, the jokes are pretty funny, and the angles and lighting are really well done despite the limited budget. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Admittedly, Kadeem Hardison nostalgia helps.

Demons - Multiple people recommended this to me, and I can see why considering the Dario Argento connection. Unfortunately, the premise is more exciting than the execution. Poorly acted and poorly dubbed, the gore doesn’t do enough to hold one’s attention. There’s a scene where a guy rides around on a dirt bike killing demons with a samurai sword. At least that happens. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Is the ticket-taker in on it? She works in the demon theater, right? So, why is she being hunted? Also, where the fuck did the helicopter come from?

The Descent - Some of Earth’s hottest, most fit women embark on a spelunking adventure with a recently traumatized friend. Aside from a couple of lazy devices that put the team in greater peril than necessary, the movie quickly and cleverly puts the cavers into a horrifying survival scenario that few others in the genre have matched. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Without giving too much away, be sure you get the original, unrated cut before watching this flick.

The Devil’s Backbone - Though del Toro’s debut, Cronos, is more original and imaginative, this is much more honed. Not necessarily frightening, but tense and dreadful through out, laying open the horror war inflicts on all it touches. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Devil’s Candy - More of a serial killer thriller than a horror, but the supernatural elements raise this movie to better-than-average heights. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. The real lesson is this movie is that cops won’t save you, ONLY METAL CAN SAVE YOU!

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - The biggest upside to this movie is that it was produced by Guillermo del Toro. The biggest downside is that it's not directed by Guillermo del Toro. Still, the director gets credit for making a child the main character; never an easy task. To the little girl's credit, she's a better actor than Katie Holmes, no surprise, and Guy Pierce. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. With a bit more gore and stylistic pauses, this could have been a 4. This movie proves why killing kids is more fun than kids who kill, and also that every male protagonist in every horror movie is dumb dick.

Don’t Look Now - Well-acted and interesting, Nicolas Roeg’s adaptation is a high-water mark of the 1970s premier horror. The only real complaint is that the ending—while good and obviously ties it all together—is nonsensical. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Donald Sutherland fucks.

Event Horizon - “This ship is fucked.” “Fuck this ship!” “Where we’re going, we don’t need eyes to see.” These are quotes from, and also the plot of, Event Horizon. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. The most disturbing part of the whole production might be Sam Neil’s attempt to be a sexual icon.

The Evil Dead - Though The Shining is the best horror movie ever made, The Evil Dead is my favorite. Funny, creepy, well-shot on a shoestring budget, it's the foundation for most modern horror flicks, more so than Night of the Living Dead in some fashions. See it immediately, if you haven't. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Bruce fuckin' Campbell.

Evil Dead (2013) - Not entirely bad, and even takes the original plot in more realistic places, like the character having to detox. But is that what we really need? The fun of the original is its low budget, odd humor, and DIY grit. I guess if you really want a “darker” version, it’s this. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Better than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, about as good as the Carrie remake, I guess.

Evil Dead II - I have to respect Sam Raimi because it’s like he got more budget and did everything possible to try and make this movie suck just as a fuck you to the studio. All the creepy parts of the original are over-the-top, there’s zero character development—just faces on a stage, and it’s seemingly a crash-grab to set up Army of Darkness more than anything else. That said, it’s kind of boring outside of a couple gory scenes. It’s fun, but not that funny. It’s scary, but more gauche than anything. An exercise in excess, yet a decent one somehow. My biggest complaint is that Evil Dead is great with Bruce Campbell, but would have been good with almost anyone; whereas Evil Dead II is only good because it’s Bruce Campbell. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark - This movie is nothing but puns and tit jokes. But clever ones! Pretty okay with that. Or maybe it's a statement on third-wave feminism in spoof form? Probably not. At one point an old people orgy breaks out at a small town morality picnic, but it's a PG-13 movie so it doesn't get very fun. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Boooooooooobs.

Elvira's Haunted Hills - A pretty disappointing follow-up to what was a fun, 1980s romp. Instead of poking fun at uptight Protestants, Elvira’s just kind of a dick to her servant. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Even the boob jokes are flat.

The Endless - More sci-fi than horror, and not the most deftly produced, still an original concept that’s pulled off well. 3 out 5 pumpkins. Maybe this should get a higher ranking. It’s good! Not exactly scary, but good.

Equinox - Decided to give another older Criterion Collection film a try. Though there are some clever tricks in the movie, especially for its time -- like an extended cave scene that's just a black screen -- the poor sound, monsters that look children's toys, and general bad acting drag this movie down to nothing but background noise that's easy to ignore. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Whatever contributions this movie may have made to the industry, its not worth your time unless studying for a film class.

Excision - Less of an outright horror movie and more of a disturbing tale of a young necrophiliac, the film tries its best to summon the agnst of being a teen, but falls short of better takes, like Teeth. Still, pretty good. Traci Lords is great and John Waters plays a priest. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Exorcist - The slow pace and attention to character backstory is more moving than the shocking scenes you've no doubt heard about, even if you haven't seen the film. The pacing is slow compared to most movies today, but the drawn out scenes, like in Rosemary's Baby, help convey the sense of dread. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Believe.

Eyes Without a Face - One of the more remarkable things about this French 1960′s near-masterpiece is how carefully it walked the line between gore and taboo topics in order to pass European standards. The villain isn’t exactly sympathetic, but carries at least some humanity, giving the story a more realistic, and therefore more frightening quality. The only, only thing that holds this film back is the carnivalesque soundtrack that could have been foreboding. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. A must watch for any horror fan.

The Fly - Cronenberg's fan-favorite film is delightful, though it’s not as great as Scanners or Videodrome, in my humble opinion. Jeff Goldblum is, of course, terrific. If you haven’t seen it, see it! 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Where’d he get the monkey, though? Seems like it’d be hard to just order a monkey. The 80s were wild, man.

The Fog - A rare miss for John Carpenter’s earlier work. There’s nothing outright wrong or bad about this movie, but it’s not particularly scary and the plot is rather slow. That said, it’s soundly directed. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. If you’re a Carpenter fan, it’s still worth watching.

Forbidden World - Another Roger Corman cult classic, this one made immediately after the much larger budget Galaxy of Terror, mostly because Corman had spent so much on the first set (designed by James Cameron) and thought of a way to make another low-budget flick with a much smaller cast and recycled footage from Battle Beyond the Stars. Even more of a complete rip-off of Alien, with some Star Wars and 2001: A Space Odyssey bit sprinkled in. Perhaps because it’s far less serious and revels in its pulp, it’s somehow better than Galaxy of Terror, which is more ambitious—you know, for a Corman b-movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. No worm sex scene, though.

Frankenhooker - Frank Henenlotter‘s 1990 black comedy is over-the-top in almost every way, perhaps best encapsulated by the introduction of Super Crack that makes sex workers, and one hamster, explode. But with a title like Frankenhooker, you get what you expect. Hell, it even manages to sneak in an argument for legalizing prostitution. If you’re a fan of zany, exploitation in the vein of Re-Animator, you’ll enjoy it. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Friday the 13th - Terrifically balanced between campy and creepy, with a soundtrack that’s twice as good as it needs to be. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching every year.

The Frighteners - Michael J. Fox, everyone! Robert Zemeckis & Peter Jackson - ugh. It didn't even take 20 minutes for the racial stereotypes to kick in. Unlike the trope of youth in most horror movies, everyone in this movie looks old. Holy shit, did anyone else remember Frank Busey was in this movie? Michael J. Fox is a bad driver in this movie. He was also in a car accident that gave him supernatural sense. Jokes. Apparently they tried to make it look like this movie was shot in the Midwestern United States, but it was filmed in New Zealand. It's clearly a coastal or water based mountain town, in like dozens of shots. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Cheesy without being completely campy, it's also family friendly. If this were any other genre, this would likely be a two.

From Beyond - Stewart Gordon’s follow-up to Re-Animator isn’t as fun, even with some impressively gory special effects. Viewers are throw into a story with little regard for character, which doesn’t really matter, but is still a bit of a left down when you find yourself wondering how a BDSM-inclined psychiatrist builds a bomb from scratch. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. It’ll stimulate your pineal gland!

Funny Games (2007) - A fairly straightforward home invasion horror achieves greatness thanks to Michael Haneke‘s apt directing and powerful performances by Naomi Watts and Michael Pitt. Like with Psycho, some of the most horrifying parts are what comes after. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The fourth wall breaking is an odd touch, but thankfully and surprisingly doesn’t distract.

The Fury - Brian De Palma’s follow-up to Carrie is a major let down. Despite a fairly charismatic Kirk Douglas and score by John Williams, the two-hour run time drags and drags. Attempting to combine horror and an action-thriller, the film waffles between genres without ever rising above either. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s not explicitly bad; just a bore to watch.

Galaxy of Terror - Roger Corman produced this movie as was to try and capitalize off the success of Alien, but even with that shallow motivation it’s better than it needed to be. Staring Erin Moran of Happy Days fame and celebrated actor Ray Walston, Galaxy of Terror has an uneven cast, made all the more puzzling by Sid Haig. Though “the worm sex scene” is likely the reason it achieved cult status, James Cameron’s production is top-notch and was clearly the foundation for his work on Aliens. The ending even hints at the future of Annihilation. Does all this make it a good movie? Not really, but it’s not terrible either. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Get Out - A marvelous debut for Jordan Peele, who—given his comedy background—was able to land some downright chilling moments alongside some mostly well-timed jokes. Unfortunately, not all of them as well timed, especially the drop-in moments with the lead character’s TSA buddy. Peele originally had the film end less optimistically, but wanted audiences to ultimately walk away feeling good. Maybe not the most artistic choice, but certainly the smart one given the film’s acclaim. It’s easy to see why Get Out has cemented itself alongside The Stepford Wives as a smart, “in these times” commentary about society, but it’s also just a really well-paced, well-shot, well-acted film. With two other horror projects immediately set, it’ll be exciting to see just how much Peele will add to the genre. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. America’s worst movie critic, Armond White, said Get Out was “an Obama movie for Tarantino fans” as if that was a bad thing. Idiot.

Ginger Snaps - A delightfully playful but still painful reminder of what it was like being a teenager while still being a gore-fest. A must for anyone who was emo. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Out by sixteen or dead on the scene.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night - An almost flawless picture. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus: nearly everyone in this movie is insanely hot.

Green Room - Surviving a white supremacist rally in the Pacific Northwest is no joke. The region is the unfortunate home to violently racist gangs, clinging to the last shreds of ignorant hate. Though fading, some of the movements mentioned in the movie, like the SHARPs, are grounded in recent history. Mainly a gory survival-flick, the movie sneaks in some surprisingly tone-appropriate humor. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. No one’s island band should be Misfits.

A Ghost Story (2017) - Yes, this isn’t a horror. It’s a drama. Don’t care; including it anyway. It’s unnerving in the way that it makes you consider your own mortality and the lives of the people who you’ve touched, and how all of that won’t last as long as an unfeeling piece of furniture or the wreckage of home soon forgot. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Ghostbusters (1984) - “It’s true. This man has no dick.” 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Halloween (1978) - One of the best openings of any horror film. John Carpenter is a genius. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Halloween (2018) - Eh. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hardware - A very unhelpful Marine brings home some post-apocalyptic trash that tries to kill him and his girlfriend, who could absolutely do better than him. Horribly shot and nonsensical, it doesn’t push the boundaries of filth or gore its cult fans adore. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Do not recommend.

The Haunting (1963) - Not exactly the scariest of movies, but damn well made and just dripping with gay undertones. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Theo is queen femme daddy and we are all here for it.

Haunting on Fraternity Row - The acting is surprisingly decent, but the supernatural elements don’t even start until halfway into the movie, which begins as a sort of handheld, POV style conceit and then abandons all pretense of that set up. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Not at all scary, but maybe it will make you nostalgic for frat parties, cocaine, and failed threesomes. So.

The Haunting of Julia - Apparently parents in 1970s Britain didn't receive proper Hymlic maneuver treatment, which perhaps made for an epidemic of dead children. As promising as that premise might be, an hour into this movie and there hasn't been any actual haunting. There's a stylish gay best friend (he owns a furniture store) and a dumb dick of an ex-husband, a scene of library research, mistaken visions, etc. All the standards are here, except for the haunting parts. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Well shot but absolutely boring, this is more about a woman's struggle with depression than a horror flick.

Head Count - A great premises that falters in key moments, making the sum of its parts less than its promising potential. For example, there’s no reason to show a CGI monster when you’ve already established its a shape-shifter, the scariest part is that they could be anybody! 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II - I really dislike this movie, not because it’s especially bad, but because it’s a lazy continuation of the first film. Yes, there are a couple of scenes that are squeamishly good, but it spends too much time rehashing the plot of the first and then ending in some grandiose other dimension that has not real impact. Part of the terrifying elements of the first is that the horror is confined to one room in one house. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. It really only gets this many pumpkins because of the mattress scene.

Hellraiser - Truly the stuff nightmares are made of. It’s easy to see why this film became a cult-classic and continues to horrify audiences. That said, the plot is a bit simplistic. Not that the plot is the heart of the film; the objective is for viewers to experience squeamish body mutilation and overall dread, and in that regard it truly delivers. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hereditary - Toni Collette is a treasure in this dramatic horror about family and loss. Though the truly terrifying bits take too long to ramp up, resulting in a jumbled conclusion, the film is engrossing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hocus Pocus - Admittedly, this movie isn’t very good. But its nostalgic charm and constant virgin jokes earns it a higher ranking that it deserves. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. “Max likes your yabbos. In fact, he loves them.”

Honeymoon - Often described as a modern twist on Rosemary’s Baby, this debut from promising director Leigh Janiak takes its time before getting truly creepy. Though there are some gruesome moments, the tense feeling is bound to the two leads, who are able to keep a lingering sense of dread alive without much else to play off. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Host - I was skeptical of this Korean movie based on the sub-par visual affects, but the script, actors, and cinematography were all much better than expected. A genre-bender, as my friend who recommended it described, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cringe. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. If you're a fan of movies like Slither, you'll love this movie.

Hot Fuzz - Second in Three Flavours Cornetto and probably the worst, but still a great movie that gets better on repeat viewing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

House - A part of the Critereon Collection, this 1977 Japanese movie is a trip and a half that follows the untimely demise of some school girls going to visit their friend's aunt, who turns out to be a witch who eats unwed women. One of the girls is named Kung-Fu and spiritually kicks a demon cat painting until blood pours out everywhere. I guess this is kind of a spoiler, but the movie is such a madcap, magna-influenced experiment there's nothing that can really ruin the experience. Like most anime, this movie also ends with an unnecessary song that drags on for far too long. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. I guess this movie influenced a lot of future work, which make sense. Still, most people would consider this a 1 as it's nearly impossible to follow.

The House at the End of the Street - I only decided to watch this movie because Jennifer Lawrence is in it. This isn't even a real horror movie. It's a serial killer movie with a few thriller moments. My standards are low at this point. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. It's a PG-13 movie, so instead of outright showing you some boobs there's just long, awkwardly placed frames of Jennifer Lawrence in a white tank-top. Oh, America.

The House of the Devil - Though an on-the-nose homage to 70s satanic slow-burns, this Ti West feature moves at a decent pace toward the slasher-like ending, making it better than most of movies it pays tribute to. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. 

The House on Sorority Row - A cookie-cutter college slasher that ends abruptly for no real reason considering how long it sets up its premise. Nothing awful, but nothing original. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Housebound - A fun, Kiwi flick that nicely balances a bit of horror with humor with a strong performance by Morgana O'Reilly. Though the plot takes a couple unnecessary twits towards the end, the gore kicks up and leaves you with a satisfying ending. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Howling - Released the same year as American Werewolf in London, this movie isn’t very good, but it is entertaining. Apparently audiences and critics thought it was funny. Maybe because it makes fun of that Big Sur lifestyle? I dunno. Dick Miller is the best thing in this movie, outside of the special effects. No idea why it spawned several follow ups. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Honestly, why not just lean into The Gift and join The Colony—nice surroundings, sultry nympho, regeneration ability. Some people can’t appreciate nice things.

Humanoids from the Deep - A cult favorite from the Roger Corman camp that borrows heavily from Creature from the Black Lagoon and a bit from Jaws. Initially very well done by director Barbara Peeters, but ultimately released much to her distaste. Peeters shot grisly murder scenes of the men, but used off camera and shadows to show the creatures raping the women. Corman and the editor didn’t think there was enough campy nudity. So they tapped Jimmy T. Murakami and second unit director James Sbardellati to reshoot those scenes, unknown to the cast, and then spliced the more exploitative elements back in for the final version, including a shower scene where it’s abundantly clear a new, more busty actress stands in for actual character. It’s unfortunate Peeters’ creation was essentially stolen from her, as it could have been a more respected film. I mean, how many horror flicks could weave in the economic struggle of small town bigots against a young native man trying save salmon populations? That said, the cut we got is pervy romp that’s still a boat-load of b-movie fun. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. James Horner on the score.

The Hunger - First off, David fucking Bowie. Not to be outdone, Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve are absolute knock-outs. Horror stories are often rooted in the erotic, often the unknown or shameful aspects of ingrained morality manifested in the grotesque and deadly. When done positively and well, it can be a powerful device. It’s a shame more recent horror movies don’t move beyond the teen-to-college-year characters for their sexual icons, too often used as sacrificial lambs, because mature sexuality can be far more haunting. As we age our connections to the meaning of love grow deeper and more complex; immorality does not offer the same luster. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Damn impressive for a first major film. Fun fact: Tony Scott wanted to adapt Interview with the Vampire, but MGM gave him The Hunger instead. It bombed and he went back to making commercials. Then Jerry Bruckheimer got him to direct Top Gun, which made $350M.

Hush - Though the masked stranger, home invasion plot is well-worn, this movies provides just enough shifts to keep things interesting and frightening. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Watch out, Hot John!

I Am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House - With only an hour and a half run time, this film still drags. Part of that is deliberate. The foundation of the film is its atmosphere and the lingering uneasiness that it wishes audiences to dwell in. But by the end, you’re left with nothing more than a simple, sad story. It’s similar to the feeling of overpaying for a nice-looking appetizer and never getting a full meal. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Initiation - This movie has every 80s hour cliché necessary: minimalist synth soundtrack, naked co-eds, looming POV shots, hunky Graduate professor, escaped psychiatric patients, prophecy nightmares, and creepy a child. Yes, everything but actual horror. An hour into the horror movie and only one person has died. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There is no point to this movie, unless you're a huge fan of the princess in Space Balls.

The Innkeepers - The second of Ti West’s two well-received horror originals before he set out for TV and found-footage anthologies, The Innkeepers may not get as much love as The House of the Devil, but should. The dual-leads (Sara Paxton and Pat Healy) are more fun to watch than Jocelin Donahue‘s performance and the tone more even-set throughout the film. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Innocents - Reportedly Martin Scorsese’s favorite horror movie, it’s easy to see how big of an impact it had on the genre (especially The Others) with sweeping camera angles, slow but still haunting pace, and remarkable sound design. Perhaps it’s not as well-received by modern viewers, but it’s no doubt a classic. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Intruder (1989) - An enjoyable slasher flick from long-time Sam Raimi collaborator Scott Spiegel that takes places in a grocery store after hours that doesn’t try to do too much or take itself too seriously and features some over-the-top gore. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. “I’m just crazy about this store!”

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) - A terrific example of how to build paranoid fear. That its political allegory can be interpreted on both sides of McCarthyism makes it all the better. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Original ending, ftw.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) - A rare remake that’s almost as good as the original. Terrific use of San Fransisco as a setting, Goldblum Goldblum’ing it up, solid pacing—great film! 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Plus, nudity!

The Invitation - More of a tense drama until the final moments, this film deserves praise for holding viewers’ attention for so long before the horror tipping point. Further details could spoil the story, but like many tales in the genre the lesson here is always trust your gut. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Ugh, Californians.

It (2017) - Stephen King’s nearly 1,200 page 1986 national bestseller captures the attention of readers for a number of reason: it’s coming-of-age story is horrific even without supernatural elements, it’s cast of characters resemble classic American archetypes from many of King’s other works, and its adaptation into a four hour mini-series staring Tim Curry as Pennywise in 1990 has haunted the imaginations of children for decades. Unfortunately, like the mini-series, the movie fails to deliver the long, unsettling moments that make the novel so thrilling. King’s story is a cocaine-fueled disaster that throws everything and the kitchen sink at viewers when compressed onto the screen. The truly terrifying elements of the book lose their impact when delivered one after another without time to feel personally connected to each character. The genius of It is the paranormal evil’s ability to hone in on a person’s darkest fears. Without deep empathy for all of The Losers, the individualized psychological torture is muted when reduced to jump-cuts. For what it’s worth, the film does its best with a jumble of sub-plots and the Pennywise origin story, but as the tone bounces from wide shots of small town Maine and the painful trauma of abuse to titled zooms of CGI monsters and an over-the-top soundtrack, something is lost. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Publishing office, 1985: “So, wait. The kids fuck?” the editor asks, disgusted. King vacuums another white rail into his nasal cavity. “Huh?! Oh. Yeah, sure. I guess. Does that happen? Jesus, I’m so fucked up right now. What day is it? What were you saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s like, love is the opposite of fear, bridge to adulthood or something. Do you have any booze around here?”

It Comes At Night - More utterly depressing than terrifying and a reminder that the greatest horror we’ll likely ever face is simply the limits of our own humanity. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

It Follows - An uncomfortable and honest take on how sexuality is intertwined with the horror myth. One for the ages. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The real terror is HPV. 

Jaws - A masterpiece that’s too easily remembered for its cultural impact than artist merit. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. R.I.P. Chrissie Watkins, you were a free spirit as wild as the wind.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer - Yorgos Lanthimos‘s follow up to The Lobster isn’t as well done, but the wide shots, odd lines, and increasingly bizzare build-up are all present. The finale is near perfect, but takes a bit too long to reach. I’d really like to give this film a higher score, but alas: 3 out of 5 pumpkins. There’s nothing wrong, yet something is missing.

Kiss of the Damned - There are handful of potential interesting scenes and the internal drama of a vampire family is a potentially the foundation for a good film. Despite this, Xan Cassavetes’s film never manages to actually be all that interesting. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There’s nothing terrible here, but also nothing remarkable.

Knock Knock - Two hotties do my man Keanu dirty. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Eli Roth is a better actor than director.

The Lair of the White Worm - A campy demon flick from Altered States director Ken Russell. Staring Hugh Grant, Peter Capaldi, and Amanda Donohoe, the plot is loosely based on Bram Stroker’s last novel, which has a few similarities to H. P. Lovecraft's novella The Shadow Over Innsmouth, which was made into the Spanish film Dagon. Very British all around, a bit like Hot Fuzz meets Clue, this could have been played straight and potentially been scary, but Russell didn’t intend to be serious. A topless snake demon wearing a death strap-on to sacrafice a virgin can’t be taken as *cinema* after all. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Not great film by any stretch, but pretty fun!

Lake Mungo - Presented as a made-for-TV type of mystery documentary, this could have really turned out poorly. Despite some unnecessary plot additions, this movie really stuck with me. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Sadder than you might expect.

The Langoliers - Balki Bartokomous is the villain in this made-for-TV special. He is terrible and the rest of the cast is packed with 90s no-name actors and a child actor that might as well be the blind version of a kid Liz Lemon. You know how Stephen King writes himself into every. single. story? In this case it's not even as a plot device, it's just a character to fill space like an obvious oracle. In the book, the character tearing paper is a subtle, unsettling mannerism you assume happens quietly in the background, but because television writers treat their audiences like distracted five year-olds, this action becomes a reoccurring focus with no point or context. One of the best parts about the book was imagining the wide, empty space of the Denver airport. Of course, shutting down an entire airport would be expensive, so most of the interactions take place in a single terminal, which is just as boring as being stuck at the airport yourself. Two 1994-era Windows screen savers eat Balki at the end, then, like, all of reality, maaaaaaaan. The more I think about it, this story might have been the unconscious basis for a strong Salvia freak out I once had. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Dear male, white writers, we all know that no one actually fucks writers in real life - that's why you're all so angry. Stop creating these protagonists equipped with impossible pussy-magnets. Stop. Staaaaaaaahp.

The Last House of the Left - Wes Craven’s debut isn’t much of a horror, but a revenge tale that contains no build up or sense of dread, but an immediate and unrelenting assault of its characters and the audience. It’s well-made, and the rape revenge tale is older than Titus Andronicus, but that doesn’t mean it’s something worth viewing. There’s no joy; it’s Pink Flamingos without the camp. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. No doubt impactful, but really best viewed as a piece of history with a critical eye and not for entertainment.

The Legend of Hell House - A well made haunted house film that holds up forty years later. Pamela Franklin, playing a medium, carries much of the movie. Her foil, the physicist, is a strange character. He apparently believes people, and even dead bodies, can manifest surreal, electromagnetic energies, but not in “surviving personalities.” Yet, he still orders this giant “reverse energy” machine to “drain” the house of its evil before they even set out to research house. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Dangerous diner parties, the insatiable Mrs. Barret, mirrored ceilings and kick ass Satan statues everywhere - this house seems pretty great, actually.

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires - A blast to watch, but not truly great. Unfortunately, I’ve only seen the edited version (The 7 Brothers Meet Dracula) that mixes up the beginning for no real reason and wonder how much better the original cut might be. Still, vampires! Kung Fu! Peter Cushing! 3 out of 5 pumpkins.


Let the Right One In - Beautiful and terribly haunting. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Likely the best horror movie this generation will get.

Let Me In - Surprising good. Unnecessary, yes. But still good. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: I once watched an *ahem* found copy of Matt Reeves‘s Dawn of the Planet of the Apes without the ape subtitles and thought it was a brave choice to make the audience sympathize with the common humanity among our species. I was also pretty high.

Life After Beth - Jeff Baena‘s horror comedy features a terrific Aubrey Plaza, but Dane DeHaan’s character leaves a lot to be desired. It seems like the film is trying to save something about life, love, and family, but never finds its voice. A fine, funny movie to watch on a rainy afternoon. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Lifeforce - Directed by Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and written by Dan O'Bannon (Alien) is a film the suffers from “the disease of more.” The entire concept of space vampires is rad as hell, but a $25 million budget and a 70 mm production couldn’t save what ends up being a boring trod and a jumbled ending that somehow makes major city destruction tiring. Though, to be fair, this was well before Independence Day. Colin Wilson, author of the original source material, said it was the worst movie he has ever seen. I wouldn’t go that far, but during a special 70 mm screening, the theater host chastised the audience in advance to not make fun of the movie during the showing because it was “a great film.” Reader, it is not. But Mathilda May looks real good naked and there are a couple cool, gory shots. So, there’s that. I guess. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Patrick Stewart is in this for all of like 10 minutes, but is still listed as a main character.

The Lighthouse - From The Witch’s Robert Eggers, this film is objectively a great work of art. Brooding, stark, and compelling performances from Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson—all the elements add up into a unique and disturbing experience. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. All that said, in the same way I consider Death Spa a 2 pumpkin movie you should see, this is a 4 pumpkin movie you could probably skip. It’s not entertaining in the traditional sense, and likely not one you’d want to really ever see again. The Eggers brothers made something weirdly niche and it’s fine if it stays that way.

Little Evil - A serviceable comedy that isn’t all that scary or even gory, which is a disappointment considering Eli Craig’s Tucker & Dale vs. Evil was so good. There are a few nods to famous horror movies that make a handful of scene enjoyable, but otherwise it’s purely background material. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Little Monsters - A Hulu original that’s pretty fun, if ultimately standing on the shoulders of giants like George A. Romero and Edgar Wright. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

A Lizard in a Woman's Skin - Lucio Fulci’s erotic mystery starts out with groovy sex parties and hallucinations, but quickly gets dull in the middle with extended scenes of psychological assessment, only to wind up where we all started. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Lodge - A good exercise in isolation horror that, while a bit slow, ratchets up the tension and horror with each act. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Damn kids.

The Lost Boys - A fun, campy 80s vampire flick you’ve likely heard of or even seen. I get why it’s cemented in popular culture, but at the end of the day it’s a Joel Schumacher film with a silly plot. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Love Witch - Somewhere between earnest satire and homage, The Love Witch is a well-crafted throwback to 1960s schlock. Weaving in contemporary gender critique, the film is more than just a rehash of its sexual fore-bearers. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Mandy (2018) - Like watching a bad trip from afar, Beyond the Black Rainbow director Panos Cosmatos (son of the Tombstone director) pulls off a trippy, dreadful film that starts out with story that follows logic and consequence before giving over to the full weirdness of Nicholas Cage’s uniquely unhinged style of acting. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Jóhann Jóhannsson’s score is superb.

Midsommar - Though not as good as Aster’s Hereditary, Midsommar sticks with you longer. Eerie throughout and disturbing, but not frightening in the traditional sense, it’s no surprise this film seems to split viewers into devoted fans and downright haters. Florence Pugh’s performance is wonderful and the scenes of drugged-out dread are far better than what was attempted in Climax. Some critics have called the film muddled and shallow, and certainly the “Ugly American” character fits in the later, but I found it to be a remarkably clear vision compared to the jumbled ending of Hereditary. That said, it’s not a scary movie, it’s simply unnerving. Should a male director and writer be the one to tell this tale? Probably not. But it’s not wholly unredemptive. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I first gave this film 3 pumpkins, but the more I think about it, the more it lingers. That counts for something. One more pumpkin to be exact.

Mimic - Without del Toro’s name attached, perhaps this movie wouldn’t be judged so harshly. Yet, though the shadowy, lingering shots he’s know for give a real sense of darkness to the picture, it’s a chore to sit through and is especially frustrating toward the end. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Mist - Watch the black and white version, which adds an ol’ timey feel to this Lovecraftian tale from Steven King and makes always-outdated CGI a bit more palpable. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Monster (2016) - From The Strangers Bryan Bertino, this monster movie that ties in a trouble mother/daughter relationship doesn’t ever overcome its limitations and poor character decisions that get protagonists in deeper trouble. Zoe Kazan does what she can to carry the role. Not bad, but not much below the surface. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Monsters (2010) - A slow-burn that relies on its actors to push the suspense of a road-trip-style plot, leaving the special effects for subtle and beautiful moments. Arguably more of a sci-fi thriller than a true horror flick, it’s still worth viewing if you’re looking for something spooky. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

mother! - Like many of Aronosky’s films, mother! is difficult to define by genre. Though not a typical haunted house film, the bloody, unsettling aspects make it more than a typical psychological thriller. Haunting in a similar fashion of Black Swan, yet broader in theme like The Fountain, this movie is challenging, disturbing and frustrating in the sense that, as a mere viewer, you’re left feeling like there’s something you’ll never fully understand despite being beaten over the head. An not-so-subtle allegory about love, death, creation, mankind, god, and the brutality women must endure, it’s a hideous reminder that, upon even the briefest reflection, life’s cosmic journey is macabre. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Ms. 45 - Ahead of its time, especially considering the unfortunate “rape revenge” sub-genre that seemed to cater to male fantasy than female empowerment. Still, it’s slow build and random scenes toward the finale leave it wanting. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Oh, the knife is a dick. I get it. 

Murder Party - A bit like Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, but for New York art kids. Even for being a horror comedy, there’s only like 20 minutes of horror, which is too bad as there’s material to mine instead of a prolonged rooftop chase scene. If this was a studio production, it’d probably just get 2 pumpkins, but given it’s $200k budget and at-the-time unknown cast, it’s a solid first feature for Jeremy Saulnier and Macon Blair, who went on to make some truly great films. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

National Lampoon’s Class Reunion - Flat out awful; neither a comedy nor a horror. Writer John Hughes claims he was fired from production, though that doesn’t hold much water considering he’s credited as “Girl with bag on head” and went on to write several other Lampoon movies. Director Michael Miller didn’t make another feature film for almost thirty years, which wasn’t long enough. 0 out of 5 pumpkins.

Near Dark - Kathryn Bigelow‘s sophomore film is hampered by its ultimate ending, but the story is original and well produced. Even Bill Paxton’s over-the-top performance is enjoyable. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worst. Vampire. Ever.

The Neon Demon - A spiritual successor to Suspiria, this film from Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn is beautifully shot, but ultimately empty. While both Jena Malone and Keanu Reeves breathe life into their small roles, the cast of models rarely shine. The horrific ending goes a step too far without lingering long enough to truly shock. Though much better than the extremely similar Starry Eyes, it’s difficult to give this film a higher rating. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching for a couple standout scenes. 

Night of the Living Dead - Viewed today the film seems almost tame, but in 1968 it was lambasted for being too gorey and sparked calls for censorship. And to its credit, there wasn’t anything else like it at the time. Romero’s incredibly small budget, Duane Jones‘s great performance, and the film’s unintended symbolism make its success all the more impressive. Kudos to MoMA and The Film Foundation for restoring this important piece of cinema history. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I argue this is a sci-fi film, if you think about it.

A Night to Dismember (The "Lost" Version) - This version appeared on YouTube in the summer of 2018, decades after it was originally filmed. The version that was released in 1989 on VHS, and later in 2001 on DVD, was entirely re-shot with adult film actress Samantha Fox after a disgruntled processing employee destroyed the original negatives. The re-shoot gave the released version of movie its “sexplotation” vibe that director Doris Wishman was know for producing, but he original version is more of a straight-forward psychotic slasher movie with only a scene of campy nudity and stars Diana Cummings, instead of Fox. Gone is the striptease, sex hallucinations, detective character, and asylum plot that were slapped together in the released version, leaving a still somewhat jumbled story of a young woman who goes on a killing spree after becoming possessed by her dead mother, who died in pregnancy, leaving her an orphan. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Poor Mary. Poor Vicki.

Nightmare on Elm Street - Why this movie sparked a generations-long series is almost as puzzling as how Children of the Corn pulled it off as well. The movie flat out ignores basic storytelling devices. Recalling the overall plot, you’re not even sure if the main character is better off alive or dead, given the horrifying reality she already exists within. Consider this: Her father is an authoritarian cop leading the world’s worse police force and her mother is a drunk, possessive vigilante arsonist. University doctors are so inept they focus solely on Colonial-era medicine to the point of ignoring a metaphysical phenomenon, believing teenage girls are attention-starved enough to smuggle hats embroidered with a dead child-killer’s name inside their vaginas to a sleep deprivation study. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. So much for the classics. At least this gave us the future gift of inspiring Home Alone-style defense antics.

Not of This Earth (1988) - This film, and I mean that artistically, was made because the director, Jim Wynorskin, bet he could remake the original on the same inflation-adjusted budget and schedule as the 1957 version by Roger Corman. Traci Lords makes her non-adult film debut and is a better actor than the rest of the cast combined. The gem isn’t so bad it’s good, it’s so godawful it’s incredible. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I was looking for the trashiest horror movie on Netflix, and I believe I have found it.

One Cut of the Dead - Know as little as possible going into this one. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s impossible to not enjoy this film.

One Dark Night - Starts out interesting, but quickly gets forgetable even with the central location of a haunted cemetery. Worth putting on the background. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Aaaaaadddaaaammmm Weeeeessssst.

The Others - Well-paced, nicely shot, superior acting by Nicole Kidman, ominous tone through out, great ending. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. One of my personal favorites.

Pan's Labyrinth - del Torro’s best work, combining the tinges of war dread and the fantastical elements that would go on to be a key part of his other films. Pale Man is one of the creepiest monsters to ever be captured on screen. Perhaps the biggest horror is that though you’ll cheer for the anarchists, the historical fact is that the Nationalists won and established a dictatorship for nearly forty years. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. No god, no country, no master.

The People Under the Stairs - When the main character of a horror movie would be better placed in a zany after-school sitcom, the entire story is bound to fail. Little did I know how far. Twin Peaks actors aside, the rest of the this movie is so convoluted and poorly explained that it made me hate Panic Room somewhat less. They can't all be winners. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. At the end of this movie, a house explodes and money rains down on poor, mostly black people. Thanks, Wes Craven!

Pet Sematary (2019) - Uninspiring, uneven, and mostly uneventful. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

Poltergeist - If you haven't seen this Steven Speilberg produced & written, but not directed horror movie, it's worth a modern viewing. Original, yet tinged with all the classic elements of fear, this movie manages to tug on the heartstrings like a family-friendly drama while still being creepy as hell. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The best, most expensive Holiday Inn commercial ever made.

Pontypool - Good, but not as great as hyped. Characters are introduced haphazardly and the explanation for the horror barely tries to make sense. Still, not bad for a movie with essentially three characters stuck in a single location. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Possession (1981) - Described by some die-hard horror fans as a “must see,” I guess I agree. It’s by no means a masterpiece, but it’s bizarre enough to take the time to check out. It’s a sort of Cold War psychological horror as if written by Clive Barker and directed by David Cronenberg. Of course that comparison is necessary for American readers, but Polish director Andrzej Żuławski is an art-house favorite, whose second film was banned by his home government, causing him to move to France. Often panned for “over acting,” Isabelle Adjani actually won best actress at Cannes in 1981. Though, you may find one particular scene as if Shelley Duvall is having a bad acid trip. Part of the appeal of seeing this film is the difficulty in finding a copy. The DVD is out of print, and the new Mondo Blu-ray is limited to 2,000 copies at $70 a piece. Good luck. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. If you’re looking for something weird and very European, seek it out.

Prometheus - Perhaps because Ridley Scott’s return the franchise was expected to be such a welcome refresher after the abysmal failures of others in the series, this one was a pretty big let down. Though there are some cool concepts and frightening scenes, there are anger-inducing plot mistakes and zero sympathetic characters. Michael Fassbender’s performance is terrific, yet not enjoy to be an enjoyable view. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Psycho - Not as great at The Birds, but still one of the best. The superb shots, painfully slow clean up of the first kill, it’s no wonder why the film is landmark for horror. Anthony Perkins is tremendous. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Remember when Gus Van Sant remade this shot-for-shot for literally no reason and lost $30 million? It’s like he has to make one really terrible bomb after each critical hit and then crawl back again.

Pumpkinhead - The production quality of this 80s horror flick is surprisingly high, especially the Henson-like monster. Long story short - asshole dude bro accidentally kills hick kid, hick father calls up demon to seek revenge. All in all, not a bad movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Given the title, the monster's head in this movie is shockingly not very pumpkin-like. Boo.

A Quiet Place - John Krasinski gets a lot of credit for playing a well-intentioned father, which is an easier bridge to his well-known character from The Office, rather than a military member, like in many of his other projects. Emily Blunt is wonderful as is Millicent Simmonds. The creatures are scary, reminiscent of The Demogorgon in Stranger Things, and the plot is decent, even without much of an ending. I’ll be honest, I didn’t really want to enjoy this film as much as I did. It seemed too “mainstream.” And, it is. But it’s also a well-executed, well-acted, well-produced product, which is much more difficult to pull off than it sounds. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth recommending to friends who aren’t even horror fans.

Rabid - No where near the level of Cronenberg’s best or even his subsequent film The Brood, but still very good. Apparently Cronenberg wanted Sissy Spacek to play the lead, but was shot down by the producers. Obviously Marilyn Chambers was selected to play up the porn star angle in the hopes of greater marketing for the indie, horror film out of Canada, but she does a great job in her first mainstream role. If you like any Cronenberg has done, you should watch this one. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Raw - A terrific coming-of-age, sexual-awakening, body-horror film that manages to retain its heart even as it pushes the limits. One of the best horror movies of the last decade. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Nom-nom.

Re-Animator - Creepy actor Jeffrey Combs is also in The Frighteners, which makes it a good nod in that flick. "Say hello to these, Michael!" When you see it, you'll get it. What can be said of this movie? It's crazy. It's great. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Gory, campy, funny and scary all at once, a definite classic.

Ready or Not - I wouldn’t go so far as to call this movie “clever,” but it’s certainly better than its absurd premise. Samara Weaving’s performance is really the only thing that keeps people watching. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Killing all the attractive help is played off as a joke, but . . . it’s not? At least rich people die.

Repulsion - After having to listen to her sister being drilled by some limey prick night after night in their shared apartment and a series of unwanted street advances triggers her past trauma, a young woman rightfully kills a stalker turned home intruder and her rapist landlord. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Return of The Living Dead  - This movie doesn’t give a wink and nod to horror tropes, it reaches out of the fourth wall to slap you in the face to create new ones. There’s an entire character that is just naked the whole movie. I understand that just because it’s a joke it doesn’t mean it’s not still sexist. But, also, you know, boobs. 4 out 5 pumpkins. What was created as camp became the foundation for modern zombies.

Return of the Living Dead III - A love story of sorts that takes a more series turn than the original. At first, I didn’t enjoy the uneven balance of camp and earnestness, but it oddly grows on you. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching to see what you think.

The Ritual - A Netflix original that is better than it needs to be about regret, trauma, and fear that gets right into the action and wraps fairly satisfying. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Rosemary's Baby - If you're looking for a sure party killer this October, put on this number and watch your guests fall asleep! Often forgot, the beginning and end of Rosemary's Baby are terrifying, expertly filmed scenes of dread, but the middle is a two-hour wink to the film's conclusion revolving around an expectant mother. Still, few other films can capture fear the way Polanski's does; all the more impressive that it stands up today. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. If you haven't seen this film, you owe it to yourself to watch it this season.

Scanners - Cronenberg’s 1981 film feels like a much more successful version of what De Palma attempted with The Fury. Dark, paranoid, and ultra-gory in key scenes, Scanners isn’t quite the perfect sci-fi horror, but it’s damn close. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Scream - For a movie that birthed an annoying amount of sequels and spoofs, it's sort of sad that Wes Craven's meta-parody ended up creating a culture of the very movies he was trying to rail against. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching again, even if you saw it last year.

Sea Fever - A good, but not great, tense thriller on sea. Plus, an important lesson in quarantine. Ultimately, it doesn’t go far enough to present its horror. A well-made, and even well-paced film with a limited cast and sparse special effects, though. There’s nothing explicitly “wrong” as the movie progresses, but a tighter script and bigger ratcheting of the horror could have made it a classic. The ending is kinda cheesy the more I think about it. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Could’ve used a sex scene with some impending doom is all I’m saying!

The Sentinel - I really wanted to love this one. Downstairs lesbians! Birthday parties for cats! Late 70s New York! Alas, its shaky plot and just baffling lack of appropriate cues make it mostly a jumbled mess only worth watching if that slow-burn 70s horror aesthetic is your thing. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Shallows - Mostly a vehicle for Blake Lively’s launch from TV to the big screen, this movies isn’t particularly good or bad. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. The shark has a powerful vendetta against Lively. What did she do?!

Shaun of the Dead - First in Three Flavours Cornetto, some of the jokes don’t land as well as they did in 2004, but still a great spin on the zombie genre with loads of laughs and a bit of heart. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Shining - The pinnacle of the form. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. "So why don't you start now and get the fuck outta here!" Harsh, but come on, Wendy kinda sucks.

Shivers - Cronenberg’s 1975 shocker flick is . . . fine. You certainly get to see how some of his body horror themes started. Cronenberg himself seems to see it as more of a film to watch to understand what not to do as a young director. If you’re a completist, definitely check it out. Otherwise just skip to 1977′s Rabid, if you’re looking for Cronenberg’s earlier work. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Not bad considering it was shot in two weeks.

Silent Night, Deadly Night - Whoo, boy. This one’s a ride. A decidedly anti-PC flick that caused calls for boycotts when it was first released, this movie is full of assault and uncomfortable situations. It’s also hilarious, gory, and worth watching in a large group. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Punish.

Sleepaway Camp - I must be missing something, because like Children of the Corn, I can’t understand why this movie became a cult-classic. A guy who openly talks about wanting to rape children is gruesomely maimed, so there’s that? I guess. A couple of these “kids” are definitely 34, while others are 14. Is this the basis for Wet Hot American Summer? I don’t know or care. 2 out 5 pumpkins. Just watch Friday the 13th.

Slither - Almost on the level of other spoofs, but with a few groan-worthy moments. Definitely one to watch if looking for something fun. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Not for the bug fearing.

The Slumber Party Massacre - Rita Mae Brown wrote this movie as a parody of the slasher genre that spawned so many Halloween copycats. It’s a bit unfortunate that we didn’t get her version. Author of pioneering lesbian novel Rubyfruit Jungle, Brown’s script was turned into a more straight-forward flick, giving the movie some baffling humor, like when one of the girls decides to eat the pizza from the dead delivery boy, and some untended humor, like the Sylvester Stallone issue of Playgirl. Lesbians undertones still prevail, as do lingering shots of gratuitous nudity, and enough phallic symbolism to write a paper about. All in all, a fun, albeit uneven movie with pretty decent dialogue. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: Director Amy Holden Jones got her start as an assistant on Taxi Driver, passed on editing E.T. after Roger Corman offered to finance early filming for her directorial debut, and later went on to write Mystic Pizza, Beethoven, Indecent Proposal, and The Relic. Bonus fact: Playgirl was able to get nude photos of Stallone based on his first movie The Party at Kitty and Stud’s (aka The Italian Stallion), for which Stallone was reportedly paid $200 to star in during a period in his life when he was desperate and sleeping in a New York bus station.

The Slumber Party Massacre II - If the first movie was a knock-off of Halloween, this is a bizarre rip-off of The Nightmare on Elm Street with a rockabilly twist. It’s hard to tell if this is a parody or a sort of musical vehicle for the Driller Killer, who—to his credit—is somehow almost charismatic enough to it pull off. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Somehow the weirdest movie I’ve ever watched.

The Slumber Party Massacre III - A return to form, in some respects. All the elements of the original are there: a slumber party, gratuitous nudity, a drill. But the driller killer’s poor-man’s Patrick Bateman character quickly becomes tired. Not terrible for a slasher flick, but not very good either. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. How many lamps to the head can Ken take? 

Species - If I asked you to name a movie staring Sir Benjamin Kingsley, Alfred Molina, Forest Whitaker and Michelle Williams, would you guess Species? No, no you fucking wouldn't. We all know Species, but I, like most, erased it from my memory. This was helpful for two reasons: first because for about the first half of the movie, you think there might be a decent flick happening - baring some obvious flaws of a blockbuster. Second because - holy shit - you get to see a ton of naked breasts in this movie, like way more than I remember. Unfortunately, about halfway through Species someone must have come in and realized having the B-squad Scully & Mulder be one step behind every instinct killing was boring as shit, and flashing tits every 20 mins wasn't going to hack it. Whatever Hollywood dickbag crafted this turd failed to realize the casting of the actor forever known as Bud from Kill Bill is the only white, macho-postering character that morons want to root for. And so we get a squint-faced protagonist getting blow jobs from a coworker scientist and an ending dumber than the boob tentacles he should have been strangled with. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There are worse horror movies, but there are also much better ones.

Starry Eyes - A thinly-veiled critique on Hollywood’s abusive history with actresses, the movie starts out well, but lags in the third act before a gruesome finale. Sort of a low-rent Mulholland Drive. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Watch out for that barbell, Ashley. 

The Stuff - Odd, mostly because of its uneven tone. Like if The Blob, The Live, and Canadian Bacon raised a baby and that disappointed its parents, like all babies eventually do. There are some good horror and comedic moments, but none of which make it great. The sound editing is remarkably bad, and the poor cuts make no sense given its scope. Oh well. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Suspiria - More of a focus on set, sound, and color than characters, Suspiria is reminiscent of the Japanese classic House, but with a more straightforward story. The Italian director, English language, and German setting make for an interesting, offbeat feel that adds to the overall weirdness of the movie. One cringe worthy scene in particular makes up for its immediate lack of logic, and the soundtrack by Goblin stands up on its own. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Sexist note: there’s a shocking lack of boobs given the subject matter.

Suspiria (2018) - Another in a long line of unnecessary remakes, though technically more of an homage. Luca Guadagnino’s version was supposedly developed for years alongside Tilda Swinton, who plays three different characters. Truthfully, without any attachment to the original, this could have been a muddled, but remarkable film. Thom Yorke’s score is perfect in certain scenes, yet detracting in others. The plot is similar in this manner. Some scenes are haunting and dense, but others needlessly detailed. The dance scenes are terrific, but weighed down by the larger war themes. The ending’s gore-fest is hampered by too much CGI, but still demonically fun. Fans of the original won’t find the weird, colorful elements to love, but it’s a good movie, albeit thirty minutes too long. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Taking of Deborah Logan - Good premise; found footage in the vein of Blair Witch Project of a demon possession disguised as Alzheimer’s disease. But, the movie can’t decide if it wants to stick to its foundation of a student documentary or veer into the studio-style editing and affects of theatrical release. Which is unfortunate as the former would have made it stand-out among a pack of mediocre ghost stories, while the later distracts from the setting it seeks to establish. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Teeth - A movie about the myth of vagina dentata could have been absolutely deplorable, but with the bar so low, Teeth does a pretty good job. Jess Weixler is a functional actress, not necessarily stand-out, but certainly far better than the role requires. Trying to tightrope walk between comedy and horror is never a task a creator should set out upon without a clear vision. Unfortunately, this one seems a bit blurry. One its release, Boston Globe said the movie “runs on a kind of angry distrust toward boys.” Not bad advice. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Terrifier - Do you want to see a naked woman hung upside down and sawed from gash to forehead? Then this is the movie for you. That’s it. There’s not much else here. Gino Cafarelli is good as the pizza guy. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. The clown is scary, though.

The Terror - A classic haunted throwback from Roger Corman, but without the nudity and gore his later work is infamous for. A young Jack Nicholson proves he was always kind of a prick. Boris Karloff does his best. The plot is pretty boring, but it’s a decent movie that you might stumble upon on a lazy afternoon on cable TV. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Tobe Hooper’s 1974 persuasive argument for vegetarianism is just as terrifying today as it was when it was released. Just as Halloween launched a thousand imitators, the hues and low angles in this film set the standard for horror for years and, unfortunately, laid the groundwork for more exploitative movies offered referred to as “torture porn.” Though gory, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s sense of weird dread is established well before the chainsaw rips, and though many have tried to follow in its footsteps, none have captured the lighting that adds to the overall queasy moments of the film. There’s a kind of simplistic beauty to such unexplained brutality, and perhaps because it was first, all others since haven’t seemed as artistically valuable. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. So, umm, what do you think happened to the Black Maria truck driver?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) - The only decent carry over from this remake is John Larroquette as the narrator. Over-washed tones, over-the-top gore and unsympathetic characters make this film more than unnecessary, placing among the worst horror remakes of all time. Robert Ebert gave it one of his rare 0 stars, reserved for works he found genuinely appalling such as I Spit On Your Grave, The Human Centipede 2, and most infamously John Waters’s Pink Flamingos. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

They Live - “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… And I'm all out of bubblegum." 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Thing - Trying to give this film an honest review is almost impossible. Cast out on its release for being too bizarre and gory, Carpenter’s nihilist tale has since come to be seen as a masterpiece for its special effects, bleak tone, and lasting impact on other creators. Is it perfect? No, but it’s damn close. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. MacReady’s assimilated. Deal with it.

Train to Busan - A bit too predictable, but a solid, well-paced zombie action flick that’s smarter than most American blockbusters from Korean director Yeon Sang-ho, who is better known for his semi-autobiographical animated features. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - I really didn't expect much out of this movie, but it's actually really, really funny and a really gory spoof. Not quite on the scale of The Cabin in the Woods, but still pretty damn great. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. If you don't think people getting hacked up by a chainsaw in certain contexts can be funny, then this probably ain't your bag.

Twins of Evil - An enjoyable, somewhat smutty vampire movie from the famous British studio Hammer Films, staring Peter Cushing and Playboy Playmates the Collinson twins. Directed by John Hough, who also directed The Legend of Hell House, the film doesn’t break any new ground and is loaded with over-acting, but it’s well-paced, wonderfully set, and generally fun to watch, where the Puritan witchfinders are just as horrible as the vampires. Not as great as Black Sunday, but still worth viewing. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Let Joachim speak, you racists.

Under the Skin - Mesmerizing and haunting. The less you know going into this film the better. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Quite possibly Scarlett Johansson’s best work.

Under the Silver Lake - Technically a “comedic neo-noir,” whatever the fuck that means; in any case David Robert Mitchell (It Follows) tries to do too much over too long of a run time. Andrew Garfield gives a decent performance, especially considering he’s in almost every frame of the film. But the edge-of-subtly that made It Follows so modern and terrifying is replaced by a silk, wandering, and heavy-handed stroll through the powerful Los Angeles entertainment Illuminati. Certainly there’s material there, but instead of being a radical stab at the very real institutions of pop-culture that treat young women as nothing more than disposable meat, we drift in and out of a young man’s lust that revels in objectification without the sleazy charm of exploitation flicks or the critical eye of outright satire. Even the eerily presence of the Owl Woman can’t level-up what is an exercise in arrested development for hipsters. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Despite this negative review, Mitchell still has plenty of potential to make another great film. Whether he deserves that chance is different question.

Us - Jordan Peele’s second film is even better than his great debut. Us isn’t perfect, but hints at what Peele could create in the future. Unnecessary explanation and slightly oddly timed humor are present, like in Get Out, but more restrained. Peele’s talent for making modern horror accessible to the widest audience is laudable. Still, I can’t wait to see what he makes two or three films down the road. I suspect more than one could come close to equaling that of Kubrik’s The Shinning. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. 

Vampire’s Kiss - Is it a horror? Is it a comedy? Is it a parody? Drama? This movie truly defies genre due to the inexplicable acting choices made by Nicholas Cage. His odd affectation doesn’t change from sentence to sentence, but word to word. It’s like he’s trying to play three different characters across three different acts all at once. Is it good? Not really. But, I mean, see it. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Vampyros Lesbos - After vigorous encouragement from my academic colleagues, I decided to watch this 1971 Spanish-German film for, umm, science. Shot in Turkey and staring the tragic Soledad Miranda, Jesús Franco’s softcore horror jumps right into full-frontal nudity and attempts a sort of story involving Count Dracula that moves forward through uninteresting monologues and shaky camera work. It’s not awful, but there’s no reason to watch it. If it was playing in the background at a dive bar, it might have a tinge of charm. Other than some close moments of near-unapologetic queer sex, despite being created almost entirely for the male gaze, it’s just another in the pile of European exploitation. Still, it’s fun to daydream about Istanbul being ruled by a dark-haired demonic lesbian; beats the hell out of what we have in our reality. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: The soundtrack found renewed fame in 1990′s Britain, causing it to finally find distribution into America.

The Vault - A serviceable, but ultimately boring horror take on a bank heist that tries to hard to end with a twist. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

V/H/S - Every review I've seen for this movie is generally positive, but that only reaffirms my belief that most people are easily pleased by unintelligent, unoriginal bullshit. A Blair Witch-style story-within-a-story collection of shorts, I couldn't get past the first borderline date-rape, little-girl, sexually confused, monster story. Fuck this trope. Fuck this movie. The much delayed glorification of grisly murder of the offending male villains is hardly radical and only further supports the stereotypes of patriarchy much as it attempts to subvert a worn genre. 0 out of 5 pumpkins. I hate the world.

Videodrome - Cronenberg’s best film. James Woods’s best role; it’s a shame that he’s total piece of shit in real life. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Long live the new flesh.

The Wailing - Despite clocking in at over two and half hours, this part zombie/part demon horror movie from Korean director Na Hong-jin isn’t a slow burn, but rather an intriguing maze of twists and turns as the main character (and audience) struggles to find the truth about a mysterious, murderous diseases sweeping through a small village. Actor Do-won Kwak gives an especially captivating performance. Though the ending packs a powerful punch, the overlapping lies and half-truths told over the course of the film makes it a bit difficult to suss out the evil roots. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

We Are Still Here - What sets out as a slowly paced ghost story turns into something of a gore-fest towards the ends, which doesn’t make it bad so much out of place. 3 out fo 5 pumpkins. Could’ve been a contender.

We Are What We Are - A remake of Jorge Michel Grau’s 2010 film, the American version takes its time getting to the horror before going a step too far at the end. Still, the ever-present knowledge that you’re watching a cannibal film makes some of predictable moments all-the-more horrifying. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare - The novel charm of Craven’s meta Freddy saga has worn with age. Heather Langernkamp is passable, but not enough to carry the film and Robert Englund out of makeup shatters the pure evil illusion of his character. Interesting to see some of the ideas that would later synthesize in Scream, but otherwise kind of a bore. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Witch: A New-England Folktale - A deeply unsettling period-piece that reflects on American religion and its violent fear of feminine power. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Trust no goat.

The Witches - Roald Dahl’s story is ultimately crushed by a changed ending, however, Nicolas Roeg‘s adaptation up to that point is a fun, creepy movie people of any age can enjoy. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s really a shame the original ending was changed.

Wolfcop - When a movie’s title promises so much, maybe it’s not fair to judge. But there’s so much campy potential in a werewolf cop picture that it’s kind of a bummer to see it executed at level that makes you wonder if it wasn’t made by high school kids whose favorite movie is Super Troopers. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. God, the movie’s horrible.

The World’s End - The final chapter in the Three Flavours Cornetto and the best, showcasing a wealth of talent at the top of their game. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

XX - Admittedly, I don’t care much for the recent spring of short horror anthologies. Rarely do they have enough time to build the necessary suspense horror movies require. Still, two of the shorts are OK, one is pretty good, and one is bad. So, not a total loss. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

You’re Next - Home-invasion horror as never been my cup of hippie tea as it feeds into the 2nd Amendment hero fantasy of American males. That said, this dark-comedy take on it isn't bad. Some things don’t really add up. For example: Are you telling me that the deep woods home of a former defense corporation employee doesn’t have a single gun stashed somewhere? Bullshit. Anyway, who doesn’t want to see a rich family’s bickering dinner interrupted by a gang of psycho killers? 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus rating: 6 out of 10 would fuck in front of their dead mother. (Sorry, mom.)

Zombeavers - No one would say this is a good movie, but it also doesn’t take itself too seriously. Not at funny as Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, and certainly more formulaic, this one’s only worth watching if you’re bored. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Zombi 2 - Lucio Fulci’s unofficial sequel to Dawn of the Dead is one of his best films. But even though Fulci crafted some of the best zombies to ever appear on screen—filmed in the bright, Caribbean sun, the film suffers, as most of his do, from some unnecessary, borderline confusing plot points and poor dubbing. Still, well worth watching on a lazy day, especially for the final act, when the protaganists fight off a zombie hoard inside a burning church. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus: topless scuba diving zombie shark fight, which is also my new DJ name.

#Horror Movies #horror #film #movie #movies #films #film criticism #movie critic #movie critique #halloween #halloween movie #a24 #a24 films #a24 movies #campy horror #ghost #ghosts #demon #demons #witch #witchcraft #witches #monster #monsters #werewolves #werewolf #vampire #vampires #murder #scifi

[eternityunicorn]

Elijah’s Eternity: Smutty Oneshots - Tonight We Become Lovers (Challenge Fic) +18

Author: eternityunicorn 

Genre: Romance/AU

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x OC

Warnings: Smut, pure unadulterated smut!

Summary: The villainous Elijah Mikaelson meets his worst enemy, the heroic Eternity, one night in a club. Having had many duels that have ended badly for him, Elijah discovers a way to claim retribution for the embarrassments of those defeats, when Eternity issues an invitation of the sexual kind to him. A challenge unfolds as the two warring sides fight for dominance that leads Elijah to question; are they truly enemies after all? *Dark/Dom Elijah 

NOTE: OC is from my up and coming novel series!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is a fic for @kdcollinsauthor‘s 1500 challenge. It was a pleasure to write. Thank you for letting me participate! I hope you like my contribution!

———————————————————————————————————

Elijah Mikaelson was standing at the bar of a local club called Mirage, dressed in his usual dark suit and tie, looking a little out of place in the casual atmosphere around him without care. There were people everywhere, talking, drinking, and dancing to the obnoxiously loud music that was enough to make one’s ears bleed. He watched them all with a predator’s gaze, looking for a victim to prey upon. He was feeling rather hungry and was in need of the warm metallic sustenance that was human blood. 

Slowly, he sipped upon the bourbon he had ordered from the bartender while leaning on the bar with one hand shoved casually into his pants pocket, watching the people go about their lives completely unaware of the danger observing them; the vampire waiting patiently to prey upon them. 

It was during this observation of his victims-to-be that he saw the familiar flash of white across the way in the darkness of the club. Elijah growled in irritation - Eternity! So, she was there too. How annoying unsurprising. She never seemed to be far from him, always near to torment him.

For months the warrior queen had been a thorn in his side, always intervening in his hunts for fresh prey. It had forced him to seek sustenance by other means, namely blood bags he compelled out of a nurse from the local hospital. It wasn’t the same as the hunt and he hated Eternity all the more for forcing such a subpar source of blood upon him.

Elijah wanted to rip her throat out for daring to interfere, just thinking about it. Yet, he refrained as every time he attempted to retaliate, she defeated him with ease. Every damned time! It was incredibly aggravating!

Though curiously, Eternity never killed him outright, unlike other opposition she faced. In fact, h he would dare to say that their fighting was her way of flirting with him. She was always grinning at him in a flirtatious way, taunting him to attack her, and one time when he had managed to pin her to the wall of an old abandoned building, Elijah swore he saw lust there in her sapphire eyes as she stared challengingly back at him. 

If he were honest with himself, he had wanted to devour her mouth when he saw that reflected in her eyes. Yet, he was not one to give into his impulses easily. Because of that, he had held back at that time and ended up laid out all over again as a result.

From there, back and fourth they went, fighting and almost fucking on more than one occasion since that first time he saw lust in her. His hatred of Eternity had begun to mix with a lust all his own for the immortal woman. 

She was an exquisite beauty, unlike anything he had ever seen before. She had a pale, almost white complexion, and long white hair that rippled down her back like ocean waves. Her rounded face featured plush pink lips that were so damned kissable, it was hard for anyone to resist. Her form was soft and graceful, yet strong and durable. 

Elijah knew that bedding her would be phenomenal, as he wouldn’t need to be careful. He could take her as roughly and mercilessly as he desired. The very thought made him hard. The filthy visions that danced through his mind drove him to distraction, much in the way that her constant interference made him want to murder her.

Yes, Eternity was perfection.

“So, we meet again, Mr. Mikaelson,” came her soft-spoken voice, snapping him out of his lusty thoughts immediately.

There she was leaning against the bar just as casually as he was, smirking at him with a hooded gaze. Eternity had managed to sneak up upon him without his notice, another thing to add to the list of her maddening qualities that he detested. It was an ever growing list that he didn’t think would ever end.

“Yes, it would seem so,” Elijah replied smoothly with a bit of irritation in his voice, making it drop a couple of octaves. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

Eternity laughed lightly, “Your acting as if you don’t secretly enjoy our little rendezvouses is adorable, Mr. Mikaelson. As to your question, I saw you staring at me all the way over here and decided to put you out of your misery by coming over. You looked so desperately in love, I just couldn’t resist.”

He felt indignant then at her implication. “I was not looking miserable nor desperate in love,” he retorted in a quiet anger that barely seemed like anger at all. “No, I was...deciding on how I wanted to best tear your lovely head from your...exquisite body.” His eyes raked over her form in blatant lust he hadn’t meant to display so openly to his enemy, before he licked his lips with a small smile of approval at what he saw. Again, he hadn’t meant to show her his lust so easily. Yet, he couldn’t resist it. 

Eternity didn’t believe him for a second and it showed in her knowing expression. “You’re such a liar,” she responded with irritating amusement. “I know the truth. It’s written there all over your face. You want me, Mr. Mikaelson. Now, the question is: do you have the balls to come and get it?” 

Just like that, before he could respond, Eternity disappeared into the crowd. All he had time to do was stare in disbelief into the club after her. It seemed she wanted him too, he realized. Enemies they may have been, but there was definitely something else that had grown between them. Maybe it was only lust. Perhaps not, he didn’t know. Either way, Elijah couldn’t resist the pull of her invitation. It was like a magnetic force that he had no choice but to surrender to.

Now he hunted for a different kind of prey, his hunger for blood taking a back seat to his lust for the warrior queen currently evading him. He swore he would be having the white-haired beauty that night and nothing would stop him from his goal. He’d kill anyone who dared to be foolish enough to try. Not that anyone would. The humans around instinctually knew to avoid him, even if they didn’t consciously know why. Nobody there has the gall to get in his way.

Elijah moved through the people, his eyes scanning for the white-haired beauty he sought. At first, he couldn’t see her anywhere, only humans he could care less about. It was as if she had vanished. But he knew she was there somewhere. He could sense her, knew she was near by. He caught the scent of her sweet arousal that waffled through the air, beneath the human and alcoholic stench. 

Like a bloodhound, the well-dressed vampire moved toward it until he finally saw her standing in the darkest corner of the club, leaning against the wall by a set of stairs. Eternity’s eyes were zeroed in on him with her hands folded casually behind her back as she watched him watch her. Then she moved again. This time doing so in his view, heading up the stairs while swinging him a seductive look as she went.

Immediately, he followed. Though he did briefly wondered at his own weakness to resist her, it didn’t stop him from climbing those rickety old wood stairs to the upper level where he knew there was an attic with a bed. He knew this because he had seduced a woman or two into heading up there with him in the past. It was a bit ironic that he was the one being lead up there by a female’s seduction this time around. A fact that wasn’t lost on him.

Once up there, Elijah came to stand in the open doorway of the small unused bedroom with his mouth hanging open at the sight before him. His need only climbed to new levels from what he found there. He licked his lips in anticipation as he watched the beauty before him with barely existent cool collectiveness. 

Eternity stood in the middle of the room facing him in the doorway, as she slowly stripped off the little black dress she was wearing. He couldn’t stop himself from groaning as he realized she wore nothing underneath. She was bared to him instantaneously as the dress fell into a heap around her feet. She stood there perfectly still, waiting for him to make his move toward her, knowing he would.

Elijah wanted to cross the room and throw her down to have his wicked way with her in a most unseemly animalistic fashion, but pride wasn’t about to let him lose his self-control to instinctive impulse. No, he wasn’t about to be so weak in front of his enemy. She wouldn’t beat him in this game of seduction. He’d have her his way only or not at all.

Unhurriedly, he moved into the room with one hand casually in his pants pocket and the fingertips of the other rubbing against his lower lip as he took her bare beauty in. He approached and made a slow circle around her, hearing her heart racing and seeing her body tremble with her want of him already. He hadn’t even touched her yet, but the anticipation of it was enough to leave her a wanting mess. 

It was beautiful.

Elijah smirked to himself, as he plotted his next move. Deciding quickly, he came to stand behind her a small distance away, reaching with the hand that had been rubbing his low lip to brush her long hair to one side, so that it collected over her shoulder. He made sure that his fingertips lightly caressed the skin of her neck as he did.

He heard her moan slightly at the contact, which only made him smirk more. His hand came around to grip her throat firmly, pulling her roughly back against his still clothed body. Elijah attached his mouth to the column, laying open mouthed kisses there, before running his tongue up it’s length to taste her sweet flesh. 

Upon feeling Eternity’s pulse, Elijah’s hunger for blood drove his vampire visage to the surface and unable to resist, he bit into the side of her throat at the place where her neck met her shoulder. She gasped in surprise, but didn’t fight him as he began to drink from her. She let him, both of them knowing perfectly well he couldn’t kill her this way. Eternity was an immortal of a higher caliper than even him, an otherworldly creature that was far more durable than any creature on Earth. A fact he usually found irritating, but was now thankful for.

Eternity’s otherworldly blood was unlike anything he had tasted before. Not only was it sweet like candy, but Elijah felt stronger, more powerful from it. He was sustained much faster and far more completely than a human’s. It was so intoxicating a high that he had to force himself to let her go. Once he had torn his mouth away and Elijah’s vampire visage receded, he lapped at the stray bits of blood from the already healing puncture wounds.

They moaned pleasurably in unison. Eternity reached up behind her to grip his hair in her little hand to hold his head there at her neck. When he tried to pull away, she yanked him back into place as an attempt to control him.

The dominant came out in Elijah when she did this. She could dominate him on the battlefield all she wanted as he unfortunately couldn’t stop her there, much to the displeasure of his wounded pride admitting such. However here, like this, he wouldn’t be allowing her control over him. He would have her submission. 

Gripping her hand in his hair, Elijah pulled her hand away with a growl. He removed his mouth from her skin to whisper hotly against her ear, “If we’re going to do this, it’s going to be at my will. You will submit to me or else I will walk away and leave you unfulfilled. Do you understand, Sweetheart?”

Eternity didn’t immediately answer him, choosing to be defiant instead. 

Stubborn little thing, thought Elijah, as he took the hand still casually in his pants pocket and swiftly fisted the hair at the back or her head, making her cry out in pain as he forced her head back harshly. She practically growled at him in turn, clawing at him unsuccessfully, as she squirmed against the rough treatment. Her struggles only made his grin cruelly and keep a tighter hold on her.

“Say we have an understanding, Sweetheart, or else I’m leaving,” he threatened in a low, menacing voice.

Eternity stilled for a brief moment and Elijah thought that meant she was going to agree to his terms, but alas he overestimated her ability to submit. Ever the valiant warrior, strong and proud, was she. Submission wasn’t in her nature - a trait they shared in common, he discovered. 

She moved in an unbelievably fast way that left him unprepared for it. Eternity managed to break his hold upon her with relative easy; though Elijah was sure she had felt some pain to do so. She turned on him, grabbing ahold of the lapels of his suit jacket and pushing him with quick steps until his back slammed harshly into the wall. She bared her teeth at him and then kissed him with bruising force, shoving her tongue into his mouth, which had been left open in his surprise. 

Taking advantage of his unpreparedness, Eternity used her great strength to lift herself up his body, wrapping her legs firmly around his waist and tangling her hands in his hair in the same painful way he had fisted hers a moment before. Though she could support herself, Elijah’s hands immediately went to support her anyway, with one arm curling around her waist and the other supporting under her backside. He groaned as he felt her rocking against him, moving her hips in time with her tongue that danced about inside his mouth.

Suddenly, she tore her mouth from his to smirk wickedly down at him, “You want my submission? You’re going to have to make it happen.”

Elijah stared up at her in wonder for a brief second, before he came back to himself and realized that she had just issued a challenge. “Are you challenging me?” He asked her in a low, intimidating tone. 

“You better believe it,” she whispered, before kissing his lips rather sweetly. 

Without hesitation, he moved, turning so that she was the one slammed into the wall. She grunted against the force, but then grinned at him defiantly. He growled animalistically at her as he attached his mouth to her throat, biting down hard with his human teeth. She gasped and then moaned loudly in response, her hands flying into his hair to scrap against his scalp again. Her legs, still wrapped around him, tightened, as she arched against him needfully. 

One of Elijah’s hands moved over her body, caressing tenderly over her breast, kneading it in his palm briefly, before moving on downward across her stomach to the hot slickness between her legs. He touched her there, slipping his fingers inside her tightness, while he groaned against her neck wantonly in response to the feeling, “Goddamn, you’re already so wet for me, Sweetheart, and I haven’t even begun to touch you properly.”

Eternity grinned at him, as she flexed her hips against his hand, riding his fingers of her own volition. It was another act of willfulness, just another part of her challenge. 

Not one to lose a challenge of this nature, Elijah knew he had to gain her submission, if it was the last thing he did. He couldn’t take another hit to his pride, as he had in their battles. So he acted, removing his fingers from her warmth and disentangling himself from her person completely, much to her disappointment.

He took a couple steps away from her, his chocolate eyes locked her sapphire ones the whole time. He proceeded to remove his suit jacket, tossing it on a nearby chair, and then he undid the buttons on his cuffs to roll up his sleeves past his elbows. Once he had done these things, Elijah reached for the tie around his neck, undoing it and the first couple buttons of his dress shirt. Taking the silky piece fabric and wrapping it around his hand, he beckoned Eternity to him.

She went to him as he commanded, but it wasn’t out of obedience. Oh no. Once she was within reach of him, Eternity was attempting to distract him with kisses to his lips and jaw while trying to move him back toward the bed. 

Elijah, of course, caught on immediately, halting her movements by fisting her hair again and harshly tugging her head back until she hissed in pain. She stared fierily back at him, a silent promise to return the favor someway, somehow.

“Nice try, Sweetheart,” he grinned cruelly at her. “You’re going to have to accept I’m in control here. You’ll get your pleasure at my will, not your own.”

Eternity shivered pleasurably visibly at the deep sternness of his voice, groaning quietly as she briefly closed her eyes. She licked her lips and then reopened her eyes. They were now pleading with him - a complete switch. 

Elijah swore that it meant she was wanting him in control of her, that she wanted to be submissive to him, despite her attempts for dominance. Was all that defiance just for show? Was it just to call for the dominate in him to take action? It would seem so, but he had his reservations.

And for good reason.

Just as he was letting his guard down, questioning her, Eternity moved in. She was once more wrestling her hair out of his grip and attacking him with a fiery kiss that left him trembling. All the while, the warrior queen shifted him, pushing him backwards until he found himself shoved into the lone chair in the room.

Eternity stood over Elijah, as he stared back up at her with a open mouth. She was willful indeed. He couldn’t decide if he was irritated or impressed. Perhaps both. 

Elijah didn’t have a lot of time to think on it since she was climbing into his lap, grinding against him wantonly once she was straddled there. Her mouth latched itself back onto his, her tongue once more moving in his own in time with her hips. He couldn’t help the deep groan that rumbled through him in response. His need for her climbing so high by that point that took all his will not to throw her to the floor and have her right there, giving in to every instinct and impulse.

Needing to take back control again, Elijah used Eternity’s distraction to his advantage. He took the tie in his hand and wrapped the silky material around one of her wrists, pulling it behind her back. Then he took her other wrist in a tender hold, before doing the same, so that her arms were firmly tied behind her before she could realize what he had done.

Eternity tore her mouth from his with a look of surprise marring her flawless face. She stared down at him with that same open mouthed expression as he had several times since this sexual encounter started, making Elijah feel victorious.

“Mine to do with as I wish,” he growled to her lowly with a smirk.

Immediately he was pushing her off of him and rising from the chair, guiding her by her bound wrists to the bed like a prisoner - his prisoner. He pushed her back against the bed with her legs dangling over the edge. He leaned over her to kiss her throughly in a punishing way, before standing to his full height and staring down at his prize. 

Yes, she was exquisite and Elijah was going to enjoy her immensely.

He was wound up pretty tightly, but he still had enough control to take his time in claiming her. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way and shrugged it off his muscled body,  carelessly tossing it away. Then he went for his pants and undid them; taking them, his boxers, and his dress boots off almost at once. Every article was thrown away without care. 

Eternity stared up at him appreciatively of his naked form that came to stand between her parted thighs. Her eyes fell to his hardened cock that stood at attention between his legs. She licked her lips and whined needfully at him.

“Do you want my cock, Sweetheart?” Elijah grinned down at her, taking himself in hand. 

She mewled at him in response.

“I didn’t get that. What did you say?” He asked then.

Still she stubbornly didn’t speak. However that didn’t last long. He simply stood over her, unmoving so long as she refused to answer him that Eternity finally broke. Her need for him having built up as greatly as his for her, driving her mad and causing her to shout desperately, “Yes! I want your cock! Please, Elijah!”

Elijah laughed at her outright as he calmly told her, “I win.”

Before she could retort, he grabbed her hips and shoved himself inside her with one harsh thrust, jointing their bodies at last. Both of them cried out at the feeling. Elijah shut his eyes against the wonderful sensation of her warmth wrapped snuggling around him, having known it would be fantastic - and it truly was. He held himself still over her, simply enjoying being buried to the hilt inside Eternity.

“Please,” she groaned at him, trying to thrust upward against his hold on her that kept her from succeeding in riding him. “Elijah, please! Fuck me!”

The rare explicit fell from her lips and he found it to be the hottest thing he had ever heard. Reaching a hand down, he grabbed her throat firmly as he replied with a growl, “Do not command me, Sweetheart. As I said, you’ll get yours at my will.”

Eternity went silent and her hips stilled immediately. 

At last, Elijah had her submission. That realization allowed him a feeling of generosity and so he began to move as she wanted, taking her hard and fast with an unforgivingly brutal pace. She practically screamed in response, enjoying the rough treatment just as he knew she would, making his male pride soar. 

He didn’t let up at all, keeping the pace as harsh as either of them could take. Over and over again, he thrusted into her body this way, watching her face as the pleasure he brought upon her took her higher and higher and higher still. His hand on her throat held her down, in a show of dominance, his dark eyes staring intensely down into her sapphire ones all the while as he fins claimed her. She didn’t fight or show defiance in any other fashion, only took what he gave her. 

Elijah bent over Eternity, wanting to her admit her submission to him. He demanded in a growl, “Tell me who you belong to? Tell me who has control of you?”

Eternity didn’t hesitate in responding now. The pleasure had her resolve completely broken, as she cried out,“I’m yours! Elijah, I’m all yours! You have control of me, only you!”

“Good girl,” he grinned as he kissed her throughly, his tongue invading her mouth and moving in the warm cavern in time with his hips.

Higher did they continue to climb until they had reached their respective peaks and fell over the edge together. It was a delightful sight, watching Eternity fall apart beneath him, because of him. She arched almost completely in half as her climax took her with a loud scream. Her walls squeezed him so tightly that it triggered his own end, leading him to come hard inside her with a roar of his own. 

So powerful was his orgasm that Elijah couldn’t help it as he collapsed upon her body from the weakened state it left him in. That was alright by him, if only because Eternity wrapped her arms around him tenderly, stroking his lightly sweaty hair as they came down together. Her gentleness left him feeling contented warmth, in a way he didn’t think was possible feeling in response to the affections of his enemy, if he could still call her that now. 

Lifting himself up a little to look down at her, Elijah studied her rosy face. He was moved profoundly by what he saw. Her eyes were looking at him with a mix of orgasm inducing bliss and a deep affection for him. He swore he could call it love, but that was impossible right? That couldn’t be possible, yes?

What he saw spoke to him and Elijah couldn’t help but to kiss her lips gently with his own emotion akin to the ones that he saw in those sapphire depths awakening. When had it happened? He wondered silently. When had he fallen in love with Eternity? Or her with him? He couldn’t answer, as he didn’t know. It had simply happened.

He rested his forehead against hers affectionately, before disentangling himself from her completely and getting to his feet. Eternity stared after him disappointedly, sitting up as she watched him as he moved to find his clothes.

“So that’s it?” She said softly with hurt coloring her voice. “One and done, huh? Just like that?”

“Not even a little bit,” Elijah replied honestly, turning back to her. “I don’t know how it happened or when, but it would seem that I’m in love with you, Sweetheart. It makes sense with how obsessive I’ve been about defeating you, my wanting to see you, even if it’s in battle.” He smiled slightly at her. “Yet, if I’m to be a man worthy of you, then I have some work to do. I can’t be the man you need me to be - a good man - until I change my life.”

Eternity smiled at him in return and suggested cautiously, “We could do that together, you know. You don’t have to leave. I can show you the way.” She reached a hand out to him, “Just stay here with me. We’ll work it out as lovers do.”

He stared at her in amazement of her willingness to stand by him, to help him change his life around, after all those times he stood against her as her enemy. Her compassion, her forgiveness, and her love had him softening toward her completely. Instantly, he was back over her, pushing her back into the mattress and kissing her soundly. She squealed in delight beneath him, making him chuckle happily back at her.

“Together,” Elijah murmured against her mouth.

Eternity beamed, “Together.”

The End

#elijah mikaelson #daniel gillies #original character #elijah x eternity #romance #the vampire diaries #the originals #writing challenge #kats1500challenge #the originals fanfiction #the vampire diaries fanfiction #fanfic challenge

[aion-rsa]

Eternals: Who is Marvel's Black Knight?

https://ift.tt/2ZlOGks

Kit Harington will play Dane Whitman, Marvel's Black Knight in the Eternals movie. Here's what you need to know about the character.

facebook

twitter

tumblr

You Know Nothing…about the Black Knight.

Get it? Because the Black Knight is being played by Kit Harington? You know, the dude that played Jon Snow on Game of Thrones? So like, “you know nothing…” Ah, forget it.

Ahem.

So it seems that the Black Knight is joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe in The Eternals. This is a bit surprising considering that the classic Marvel Comics Black Knight really has very little to do with the world of the Eternals. But, Dane Whitman, the Avenger known as the Black Knight, is a great character with a rich and surprising history that stretches back to the early days of Marvel. Now, there is some history with the Eternals which we will get to in a bit, but not enough to make the Black Knight’s inclusion in the movie anything but surprising.

So, let us go on a regal and honorable quest and check out the history of Marvel’s latest cinematic champion: the Black Knight. Along the way, we’ll indulge in some speculation on how this swashbuckling swordsman could impact the MCU and The Eternals.

The First of His Name

Dane Whitman wasn’t the first hero to hold the name. The first Black Knight was Sir Percy of Scandia, a knight of Camelot. This early Marvel legend first appeared in Black Knight #1 (May 1955) and was created by Stan Lee and Joe Maneely. There were very few costumed heroes in these bygone days of the '50s, so Black Knight remains a little explored gem of a comic.

read more: Everything You Need to Know About The Eternals Movie

Sir Percy was a Knight of the Round Table who proudly served King Arthur and fought threats like Mordred and Morgan Le Fey, two villains who would appear years later in the Marvel Universe. The Black Knight wielded the Ebony Blade, a magic sword carved from a meteor by Merlin himself. Later, it is revealed that Percy was killed by Mordred and the mantle of the Black Knight began to be passed down to the fallen knight’s descendants. Some did him proud, but one darkened the once heroic name.

The Blackest of Nights

The Black Knight who would go on to join the Masters of Evil first appeared in Tales to Astonish #52 (1964) and was created by Stan Lee and Dick Ayers. One of Percy’s descendants, Nathan Garrett, a brilliant research scientist, led a spy ring until he was defeated by Giant Man (that's Hank Pym, folks). Disgraced, Garrett ran to Europe where he found the tomb of Sir Percy. Garrett was rejected by the Ebony Blade because of his dickheel tendencies. Embittered, he became a new Black Knight, but profaned Percy’s good name by becoming a villainous facsimile of Camelot’s champion.

read more: Marvel's Eternals Characters and History Explained

Instead of wielding the magic of Camelot, Garrett built weapons like a blaster lance and other hi-tech medieval nonsense. He also created a genetically engineered flying horse named Aragorn because I guess even villains like Tolkien?  But yeah, dude, don’t sell your method of making flying horses to make cheese, rob banks! The second Black Knight was a douche. Anyway, Garrett was again defeated by Giant Man, the Avengers, and Iron Man. In his final battle with Tony Stark, Garrett fell from Aragorn and was mortally wounded. Dying, Garrett summoned his nephew Dane Whitman which brings us to our man of the hour... 

Avengers, Hero, Eternal?

So is Dane Whitman, the third Marvel character to use the moniker of Black Knight an Eternal? No, he is not. So who the hell is he?

Whitman is the nephew of Nathaniel Garrett. When the evil Black Knight lay dying after his battle with Iron Man, he summoned Whitman to see his side. There, Garrett made a face turn and begged Garrett to take the mantle of the Black Knight to restore honor to Sir Percy’s legacy. Whitman created his own costume, adapted some of Garrett’s weapons, saddled up Aragorn and became the new, modern Black Knight. 

read more: Marvel's Eternals Comics Reading Order

This all happens in Avengers #47 (1967) by writer Roy Thomas and artists John Verpoorten and George Tuska. In his first adventure, the Avengers mistake Whitman for Garrett and a superhero smackdown ensues. To prove his worth, Whitman infiltrates the Masters of Evil and helps the Avengers. Earth’s Mightiest Heroes offer Whitman membership and the heroic legacy of Black Knight begins again.

Over the years, Black Knight has appeared in a handful of memorable stories. He was the catalyst of The Avengers/Defenders War when each team raced to find a cure after Whitman turns to stone thanks to a kiss by the Enchantress. Black Knight focused stories were few and far between even though the character was seemingly ever present in Avengers and early issues of Defenders. The first major change to Whitman came in Doctor Strange #68–69 (1984) by Roger Stern and Paul Smith where Whitman finally finds the Ebony Blade, the Merlin-forged sword of Sir Percy.

The Ebony Blade is more of a curse since if the sword draws even a drop of blood, Whitman will be horribly cursed.  With this tragic twist, Whitman rejoins the Avengers and becomes a member in good standing until Namor uses the sword to draw blood. Whitman is cursed and begins to transform into the same metal used to forge the Ebony Blade. What’s with Black Knight petrifying? It’s a whole thing.

Anyway, Whitman is cured by the ghost of Sir Percy and creates a high tech laser sword for himself. Yes, essentially, Black Knight began wielding a lightsaber. I swear to Kirby, if Kit Harington wields a lightsaber in these movies... 

So What is the Black Knight Connection to the Eternals?

So where does all this fit in with Eternals lore? At one point, Black Knight became the leader of the Avengers. At the time, the roster experienced a major shakeup with a number of new members that included Crystal of the Inhumans and Sersi of the Eternals. As members of the Avengers, Black Knight and Sersi became lovers as the Eternal sorceress took a liking to the scion of Camelot. Sadly, a love triangle begins when Whitman develops feelings for Crystal and a whole mess follows. A villain named Proctor complicated matters further. This convoluted baddie was an alternate universe version of Whitman possessed by the Ebony Blade. To battle Proctor, Sersi and Whitman undergo an Eternal process called gann josin which bonds Sersi and the Knight together.

read more: The History of Ms. Marvel

So, for a short time, Whitman gains Eternal power and really, the whole thing is an overwritten mess because that's '90s comics for ya. But, this whole gann josin stuff creates a bond between Black Knight and Eternals lore. Could the film versions of the Knight and Sersi be lovers? In the comics, Sersi had a profound impact on Whitman. After they bonded, Sersi turned Black Knight’s heart to “stone” (again with the petrifying!) so he could remain emotionally removed from humanity and better serve the world as a champion. 

The Eternal Future

As if this wasn't crazy enough, Black Knight eventually joined a team known as MI: 13, a British agency that battles the supernatural. There, Whitman believes he once again bonds with the Ebony Blade, but it turns out the sword is a fake forged by Dracula (!) with the purpose of corrupting Whitman. The Black Knight is too strong for the blade and uses the vampiric sword to battle Dracula’s forces. At this time, Black Knight also meets and falls in love with Faiza Hussain, a doctor who becomes Black Knight’s squire and eventually wields the blade Excalibur because good lord comics are awesome.

read more: The History of Moon Knight

So what role can be play in Marvel’s The Eternals?

Could the braintrust of the MCU combine the legacies of Percy and Whitman, revealing that Whitman is immortal, an act that would truly make Black Knight Eternal? Think about it, the Black Knight could have fought in Camelot as Sir Percy (and don't forget, Black Knight's armor showed up as an easter egg in Spider-Man: Far From Home) but also live in the modern world as Whitman. Will Sersi and Whitman continue their troubled romance? I guess we’ll learn next November as the saga of Marvel’s Black Knight takes a giant step forward when Eternals hits theaters.

As long as Whitman doesn’t turn to stone in the first act. 

The full Marvel movie release calendar can be found here.

Read and download the Den of Geek SDCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

facebook

twitter

tumblr

Feature

Books

Marc Buxton

Aug 25, 2019

Marvel

Eternals

Kit Harington

from Books https://ift.tt/2Zvi6gh

#aion-rsa #Books

[sserpente]

A/N: Request from @harknesskitty. Writing this Imagine was some kind of déjà-vu and I just don’t know why… :o well, enjoy reading, everyone! ♥

Words: 1870 Warnings: vampire!Reader, theft, implied smut

It was ridiculous, really. A blood-sucking vampire freezing to death out in the cold, curled up behind a dirty trash can to hide from the merciless snow. Without nutrition—be it a squirrel or even a rat—you were sure you would be dying tonight.

There were crueler ways to snuff it, though. A wooden stick through your heart, a raging fire licking at your skin or a sharp blade separating your head from your neck… if this was the peaceful alternative, you would be grateful.

Ironically, it was Christmas Eve too. The trash cans you were hiding behind belonged to an old church and if you listened closely, you could hear a choir singing Christmas carols. Surely inside, it was warmer. Inside, they’d have hot tea and warmed each other. You hadn’t stepped foot in a church for decades.

Obviously, you didn’t fear to go up in smoke if you did but somehow, it didn’t feel right to pray and ask for forgiveness and a blessing. You killed people to ensure your own survival, if this wasn’t selfish, you didn’t know what was.

So, you had isolated yourself from society, living as a poor and homeless nomad and never staying in one place for too long. It was a bad idea to get attached to humans—people you’d either suck dry in a rage or a fit sooner or later or that you’d watch die from old age while you remained the same.

Grief and loneliness were among the most awful feelings as an immortal being, knowing it would never truly stop and still, centuries ago, you had chosen this fate over certain death. It had to be worth something and maybe tonight was the night to finally say goodbye to the planet.

The sound of metal clattering to the frozen ground had you flinch, your senses wide awake with a start. If it was moving, it was food.

Gathering the last of your strength, you used your supernatural speed to rush to the place the sound had come from. A back alley abutting to the local bank stretched before you, causing you to roll your eyes. Another clumsy and ruthless burglar. Those were your favourite. Well, at least you’d do the world some good on this merry day.

“Bloody shit,” he hissed quietly, cowering in the snow to collect the coins he had dropped. You shivered, crossing your arms and stepping forward. It was a man. Broad shoulders, dressed oddly, a battered coat covering most of his form. Hm… he was quite handsome for a criminal.

“Robbing the bank, are we?”

“Who are yah? A cop?” Alarmed, the stranger reached for a knife, pointing it at you… no, not a knife… a… a boomerang? You almost giggled upon seeing the strange weapon, causing him to fling the metal piece right at you. You instantly docked down to prevent the blade from slicing off your head and then, when you sensed it returning to him, you used your powers to do a backflip and dodge once more.

“That wasn’t very nice.” You loved playing with your prey. Letting them believe they had power, only to mercilessly strip it from them in the end, crushing their hope like sand under your soles. “And no. I’m not a cop. Still, I’ll be the last thing you’ll see tonight. Or… ever.”

You didn’t hide your malicious giggle this time, however, stopped dead in your tracks when the stranger took another step forward and dived into the dim light of the back alley. He really was handsome. Dark hair, a dark beard, blue eyes and full lips… the urge to bite them and draw a little blood was tingling in your frozen limbs, persistent even.

“I’m not in the mood fah games, Sheila. An’ I don’t share me prey. So fuck off unless yuh’re here tah offer me a free blowjob.”

“Pretty rude, are we? Neither am I. See, I am what humans refer to as a vampire. A blood-sucking monster… killing you slowly and painfully.” you paused, adding a dramatic effect. They usually didn’t believe you until your eyes turned red and your sharp fangs pushed against your lower lip demandingly, uncontrollable hunger taking over. “You seem like the perfect victim, wouldn’t you agree with me?”

The stranger silenced, pursing his lips. “Me? Why, cos’ I robbed a bloody bank?”

“On Christmas Eve,” you added dryly. “Boo, that’s evil.”

“I’m evil? Yah just told me yah were gonnah drink me up like some cheap beer.”

You tilted your head once more. He was good. HeHe was good. “Yeah okay, I give you that.”

“C’mon, luv, there’s worse people out there.”

It was then you realised. “Wait, you actually believe me?” The question had left your lips before you could properly think it through. You were supposed to be intimidating, not curious and sweet like a little school girl. Damn it.

“I’ve seen a lottah supernatural stuff in the last couple o’ months, luv, a vampire ain’t as scary as yah might think.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m hungry.” You threatened with a low voice, sensing how your eyes changed their colour.

“Let’s… not do anythin’ we’ll regret. We could help each other out.” He offered, smiling cheekily as he did.

Curious, you raised an eyebrow. Help each other? If it didn’t involve his blood, you doubted it and yet, something inside you had you halt and consider him. An instinct, perhaps?

“Me apartment fah the night ain’t that far away. It’s warm, it’s cosy… yah’ll like it. Come with me an’ spend the night. We could warm each othah.” He winked.

A warm apartment… a bed… maybe he even stored some raw meat in the fridge. Could you trust him? Granted, he didn’t want to be eaten—you had heard people say the strangest things before they died in your arms from savage blood loss.

Still, you decided to play it cool. “Wow, what’s that, some touching Christmas charity?”

“I bloody hate Christmas.”

You smiled. “Me too,”

Well, maybe his offer wasn’t so bad.

“See?” His grin widened.

He was… different from the other criminals you had sucked dry. This man, he was… charming and mischievous, almost playful. You hated to admit it but you liked his cheeky attitude… and especially his Australian accent.

“Okay, so, I come home with you and in return, what? I don’t eat you?”

“I’d be happy if yah didn’t, luv.” He replied.

“Fine. We have a deal.”

“Yuh’re gonnah tell me yah name?”

Another smile, this time a little more sincere. “Call me (Y/N).”

“Nice tah meet yah, (Y/N). The name’s Captain Boomerang.”

“Wait, so you really are the Captain Boomerang who fought alongside Harley Quinn and those other freaks in Gotham?”

Boomer hadn’t promised you too much. His apartment was heated and comfortable, the fridge full of barbecue meat and beer. He was a stereotypical Aussie and it only intrigued you all the more. After a couple of cans, you’d both stripped yourselves from any restraint. You had told him about your former life, the people you had killed and the life you lived now. And he listened. Unlike any other man you had ever met, he actually listened to what you had to say—it’s been so long since you had someone to talk and someone to confide in. It was obvious to you he knew what it felt like to be alone, too… most likely the reason for his openness and the longer he told you stories about his own adventures, the more you forced yourself to hold back and not get attached.

You would leave him again tomorrow. There was no need to develop feelings for this man, no friendly and definitely no romantic ones.

“The one an’ only, luv. Took me quite a while tah get away from Waller but here I am.”

“Here you are, saving Christmas Eve.” Giggling, you cuddled into him, almost lying on top of him on the dusty mattress on the ground. It was a provisory shelter, the people who had lived here had moved out only weeks ago and left the mattress back. Now, it came in handy.

Sighing, your buried your face in his neck and enjoyed the sensation of his warm skin against your cheek, for once not to kill but to revel in the oddly snug feeling spreading in your whole body and warming you from the inside out. You hadn’t been this content in years. You had… almost forgotten what it felt like to share comfort, especially when he had wrapped his muscly arms around you to touch your bare arms. He was like a heater himself, listening to his even heartbeat relaxing and calming.

“Reckon we did each othah a favour, huh?” Boomerang chuckled darkly. His chest vibrated under your palm when he did, sending a pleasant shiver up and down your spine. It was short moments like this in which the urge to bite returned. Not to kill or simply still your hunger but to share an intimate gesture, create something that would connect you both forever.

“Where’re yah gonnah go then? Tomorrow, I mean.”

Breathing out audibly, you shrugged. You hadn’t thought about that yet. “I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to see California. Besides, it’s warm there.”

“Yah take the money with yah when yah leave, alright?”

Tilting his head to the rucksack full of coins and banknotes in the corner opposite the dimly lit room, his expression turned thoughtful.

Your heart skipped a beat. Lifting your head slowly to look him in the eye, you opened your mouth in an almost shocked manner. This wasn’t what criminals normally acted at all. This man… “Why would I do that?”

“’Cos yah need it more than me, apparently. I’ll rob anothah bank tomorrow an’ I’ll be rich. Go have it. Say it’s a Christmas present.”

“And all of that so I don’t bite you?” You teased, pressing yourself even closer to his body. Don’t get attached, don’t get attached… your mantra was useless. You already were getting attached.

Boomer grinned. “I’m startin’ tah think that wouldn’t be so bad, after all.” Something inside you stirred when you straddled him, your eyes changing their colour in joyful anticipation. “As long as yah don’t kill me,” He winked when you bit your lower lip, running your fingers all over his body.

Why leave tomorrow? Why not stay with him for a while? The chemistry between you was tangible, buzzing like electrical energy.

“So I reckon what I’m sayin’ is, if yah take yah clothes off, feel free tah taste.” The glistening in his blue eyes resembled raw lust and desire, adding to your own arousal and fuelling your own hunger.

You grinned to yourself when you pulled your shirt off, revealing your breasts to him.

“I can live with that.” And then, you gently pressed your lips against his, kissing him in joyful anticipation of what was to come.

“I’ve never shagged a vampire.” He growled hoarsely, burying his hands in your dirty jeans.

You would definitely stay for a while longer.

“You’ll never forget the experience.” You promised.

Maybe getting attached wasn’t so bad after all. At least for this very moment.

#captain boomerang #captain boomerang imagine #captain boomerang x you #captain boomrang x reader #george digger harkness #digger harkness #digger harkness imagine #digger harkness x you #digger harkness x reader #suicide squad #suicide squad imagine #dc #dc imagine #jai courtney

[amoralityplay]

Tokyo, June 1992

[CW: emotional abuse, implied physical abuse)

It was Friday. 

Audrey knew this meant Nate would show up around noon, rather than later in the afternoon like he did during the rest of the week. He had a job, though he’d always been vague about it, explaining that it was something on the nearby American military base, but he wasn’t a rank-and-file soldier anymore. He had a desk job that he hated after some sort of disagreement during his last tour of duty, she had some recollection of him talking about it, but he’d never explained exactly what had happened and Audrey hadn’t pressed for an answer. Mortals were always getting into conflicts that, from her point of view, were petty and meaningless. Whatever it was probably didn’t matter at all in the larger scheme of things, so she hadn’t had any desire to dig deeper on the topic. Assuming he would have told her, anyway, which wasn’t often the case. If Nate didn’t want to talk about something, it wasn’t talked about, and he’d made that clear to her very early on. 

As she wandered across the small apartment, Audrey paused briefly to look at a calendar that hung in the kitchen area, days crossed off until the last day of June. She’d never been very good at keeping track of time—for vampires, days or weeks passed in a blink—and marking a calendar was the only way she could keep up with Nate’s schedule, which he adhered to unfailingly. It was almost noon, so Nate would show up any minute and the young vampire let out a small sigh. She’d barely slept, not uncommon since she’d arrived in Japan, and knew he’d scold her for not taking better care of herself. It was hard to get any sleep, though, when he’d show up in the afternoon, wake her up, and then keep her up until he left in the morning. As light a sleeper as she was…that left the vampire with precious few hours to get some rest during the day, and often that was interrupted by other things: the building superintendent making repairs, neighbors making noise, traffic and city life beyond her small window. Audrey didn’t know it was intentional, of course; that Nate’s charms worked better if she was weak and tired.

As expected, it was only a moment before the sound of the lock turned as Nate arrived, still wearing his fatigues, which was unusual, and pushed the door open. A brow twitched upwards when he found Audrey in the kitchen next to the door, followed by a frown. “You’re already awake,” he said flatly, stepping inside and pulling his cap off, a hand smoothing his brown hair back into place. 

“I couldn’t sleep, I knew you’d be here soon so I thought it was better to just get up and start getting ready…“

Nate didn’t answer, just frowned down at her. After a moment, he walked into the living area and let out an exaggerated sigh. “Well, what good are you going to be if you’re tired? Or did you just assume I’d feed you, today?” He dropped onto the futon, leaning back and propping his boots on the coffee table, starting to roll up his sleeve. “It’s been two weeks. Suppose it wouldn’t hurt. But you need to take better care of yourself, I can’t do everything for you, you know. How would you hunt if I wasn’t here?” “You don’t have to—“ “What’s the alternative, Audrey? Let you starve? Look at you. You’re not eating enough as it is.” It was true that Audrey wasn’t eating nearly enough—ideally, she needed at least two pints of blood a day to keep at a healthy weight, more than that to stave off anemia, which she was particularly prone to. She was getting less than half of that, and nearly all of it once a week when she tried to gorge on a kill, while the rest of the time she’d just nibble at steak and liver, although occasionally Nate showed up with a bag or two of blood for her that he’d been able to bribe off the military clinic. But she supposed that was the best she could do, since the coalition seemed to be ignoring her application and she felt reckless enough as it was killing a mortal once a week, even in a city as big, and with as many dark alleyways, as Tokyo. Not to mention Nate wasn’t a very good lookout, easily distracted by watching her feed. Letting out a small sigh, Audrey shrugged and looked down at her feet. “If the coalition would just—“ Nate snorted. “If they’d what? Approve the application you put in five months ago? Doesn’t look like they’re gonna do that, sweetheart…C’mere.” He patted the cushion next to him, holding out his opposite arm to her. 

Audrey padded across the small space, stopping to gather a few things from a drawer as she tried to ignore the little ache in her chest that cropped up every time he pointed out that nobody seemed to care about her anymore. Except him, of course. Audrey hadn’t really believed it at first, but…her grandmother hadn’t tried to call her in months, not since they’d fought while she was still in Kiev, and she hadn’t heard from her grandfather since shortly after she’d landed in Tokyo. Then there was Rowan; Audrey wasn’t going to even let herself think about Rowan or his letters. It was going to take more than letters to convince her of anything he’d said since their wedding fell apart the day it was supposed to happen. 

“It’d be easier if you just bit me,“ Nate started, eyeing Audrey as she sat beside him with the things she’d gathered: a kidney-shaped metal tray, a tourniquet, a length of IV tubing, an empty blood bag, and a large-gauge needle. She’d gotten pretty good at drawing blood since Nate had taught her how to do it and it was only a moment before the bag was filling, not any different than one might have seen happening in a Red Cross center, except that this was meant for consumption, not donation. 

“You know I can’t do that,” she murmured, glancing up from the needle she was holding in place in Nate’s arm. “You could catch the virus and—“ “And I’d turn. Would that be so bad?” “I can’t without permission.” “Permission from who? The coalition that would let you starve, Audrey? From your grandmother, who’s been ignoring your existence for months?” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. I get it.” Audrey’s brows drew together with concern. “Get what?” “I get that I’m just some mortal to you. An easy meal. I’ll get old and die and you’ll just move on.” “That’s not true, Nate…I love you.” She pressed a piece of gauze to his arm as she pulled the needle free and laid everything in the kidney tray on the coffee table. 

“Yeah? How long is that gonna last?” “Forever, Nate,” she whispered earnestly, looking up from what she was doing. 

“Prove it, Audrey,” he whispered back, leaning forward so that his face was only inches from hers. Audrey looked at him for a long moment, the internal struggle plainly apparent on her face. She’d broken so many rules already, things that would make serious trouble for her if the Elders—namely, her grandmother—found out. But turning a mortal without permission would have been the most serious…and she knew she’d never get permission to turn this mortal. In fact, Audrey was certain if her grandmother found out Nate existed, she would personally show up and gut him, merely for the fact she would have seen him as a distraction from what Audrey should have been doing…which was getting back to fixing her strained relationship with Rowan and producing an heir to her maternal line.  Finally, Audrey’s gaze dropped to her lap. “I can’t….not yet, Nate, please understand, it’s not anything to do with how I feel about you…I’ll write to get permission, it just takes time.“ 

Without looking up, Audrey felt his arm tense under her hands and she wanted to shrink, the silence in the room heavy and unbearable. She knew if she dared look up, she’d be met with a furious stare...and maybe she deserved it. Why should he believe her? If she loved him...shouldn’t she turn him? Regardless of what other vampires would think? 

Before she finished that train of thought, Nate sighed and nudged her hands away from his arm, holding the gauze down himself as he stood. “It’s fine. Go ahead and eat.” There was no trace of displeasure in his voice and Audrey glanced up, unsure if she’d just imagined the searing gaze and tense muscles; Nate was simply looking down at her, his expression a little sad, maybe...but certainly not angry.

She hadn’t imagined anything; Nate was seething and he wondered if it would be easier to just kill her and infect himself with her blood than to keep playing this ridiculous game, pretending there was anything more between them than his desire to be essentially immortal and some tangential lust. But…he’d seen how strong she was, even when she hadn’t fed recently, and while he thought he could overpower her, it would be a messy affair. And Audrey had talked plenty about who her grandmother was; Nate was certain that killing and Elder’s granddaughter would make his immortal life more complicated--and potentially much less immortal--than he wanted it to be, so…he’d keep playing. 

It wasn’t going to take much longer, especially if he managed to get her pregnant, Nate thought. She was a soft-hearted, romantic little thing and he doubted she’d be able to tell the father of her child “no” about much of anything, much less condemn him to age and die like any other mortal would. And even if it turned out the vampire wasn’t good for anything else, she was at least a warm body, easy enough on the eyes, and hardly ever objected to anything he wanted, so Nate supposed the last few months hadn’t been a total wash. 

“I’m gonna lay down for a bit. Come to bed when you’re finished. I’ve had a long week…let’s stay in tonight. I think I need a little quality time with my girl, yeah?” 

Audrey watched silently from the futon as Nate walked the short distance to her bed, only his outline then visible behind the thin partition that split the living space from the bedroom, as he stripped off his uniform before laying down, and wondered if she’d also imagined the faint threat behind his words. 

#[drabble] #[Audrey] #[Evil Nate]

[simplyoriginalcharacters]

((Thank you for taking the time to read this re-do. I really did lower my word-count and I tried to make his story more straight to the point, but I am not sure. I tried to follow the feedback that was given and hopefully this presents a better picture of who Nazzaereno is. My cousin drew him for me. 

My cousin and I were re-doing our universes and we decided to go really in depth with the Netherworld characters. We did a character swap and they let me take Nazzaereno back so that I could try to focus better on his story.

  World: The universe that my cousin and I created, but from the Netherworld Series of characters ))

  Hi! This is Mod D with your profile re-review. Your full profile and critique are under the cut.

Name: Nazzaereno Abategiovanni

 Real Name: “Sette” or “Seven”

 Aliases: Nazz, Vulture.

 Gender: Agender, but he uses he/him pronouns.

 Sexual Orientation: He’s never explained it to anyone.

 Age: He just learned that he is actually 3000 years old. 

Species: Archdemon turned Avvoltoi.

 Birthplace: Poveglia, Venice, Italy

 Occupation: He now works as a free assassin.

 Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

 Affiliations: The Avvoltoi, and he is loyal to whoever owns him at the time.

 Family:

 Uno Bianchi: Uno is his blood brother and they have had it out for each-other for years. Nazz has always had to protect himself from his greedy brother, who has abused him, killed him multiple times, and taken all of the friends that he loves. They hate each-other so much that Nazz changed his appearance so that he wouldn’t look like him any more. 

 Cinque: Cinque was the closest thing to a sister that he had. She cared for him when he was younger and she taught him the ways of being an Avvoltoi. She was killed by Uno and Nazz has been trying to get revenge ever since. 

 Best Friends: 

Akhenaton Ralïs- Their relationship is very strange. He thinks of Ahken as a friend and he will listen to him but he also tells people that Ahken owns him. He learned his teleporting skills from him and he’s always willing to do a job for him. 

 Janus Dragyn: Janus, or as he calls her “Sorella”, is one of the few people that he gets along real well with in the netherworld. She was raised in an assassin cult like him and they talk to eachother about killing, death, and morbid things. When he is not working for Akhen, he asks to be placed with her. 

Relationship Status: Single

 Significant Other: NA

 Other Relationships: 

Nero: He has a weird fascination with Nero, but it’s not an unhealthy one. He learned that Nero is actually an Alien who is living in the netherworld, and he wants to know what his blood tastes like. Nero is actually too nice to tell him that he’s creepy, but Nazz is starting to get the point. 

 Height: 6'4

 Weight: 220 lbs

 Build: Athletic, muscular and lean.

 Skin Tone: Deep tan, with gold undertones. A weird thing is that towards the tips of his toes and fingers they look black like a birds.

 Hair: Jet black and ear length. It falls in his face and he likes the effect that it has. 

 Eyes: His eyes are gold, and his pupils are vertical like a cats. He also has two vertical scars underneath them, the left being longer.

 Identifying Marks: He has very sharp, white teeth, almost to the point where they are hyper white and his eyes do glow, like they are on fire or something.

 Appearance: Nazz has been described as being rather beautiful. He recently went through a change of his own doing because he was told that he looked too much like his brother, and that offended him. He has dark tan skin, and Jet black hair that is currently ear length and parted. He has full lips, big eyes, and shaped eyebrows that always give him an amused look. His eyes are actually glowing yellow with slit pupils, and his sharp teeth are obnoxiously white, almost fluorescent. 

     Along his body, he has black binding tattoos and metal locked cuffs that are on his neck, arms, and ankles. Due to boredom, he sometimes turns himself into a raven, a black dog with no tail, a child, or a feminine version of himself. 

     Various tests have been conducted, and apparently his clothes are made of the same material as his skin, so he can change his outfits rather quickly if he needs to. When he’s not disguised, his outfit consists of a black, backless form fitting material that ends in boots and black gauntlets. He has black raven feathers on the shoulders and back, and he has a tasset. It goes down to his knees and flows like a small train. 

 Personality: Nazzereno has a rather strange personality. It is almost as if he has bits and pieces of different personalities that converge to make his own personality. He is almost always friendly, but friendly to the point where he comes off as being a bit creepy. If one can stand being near him for the time being, he’s actually a nice person. He kind of acts like an older teenager, so he’s always willing to have fun, or he’s always ready to cause trouble. He’s also known for being very capricious.

     This changes whenever he knows that Uno is around. He becomes quiet, sensitive, paranoid, and generally distressed if he knows that his brother is in town somewhere. 

 Motivations: He just wants to live, that’s about it.

 Current Goal: He’s actually trying to help the Netherworld with stopping a demon vampire. 

 Life Goal: He wants to learn more about the rest of the Archdemons and who his real family was.

 Motto: “Io sono tuo, maestro ”.

 Best Quality: He is very thorough when it comes to completing contracts.

 Worst Quality: He gets bored easily, so it’s best to keep him entertained. When he’s bored, he gets really destructive. 

 Likes: His swords, blood, and video games. He is also attached to anything on his person that is yellow. He found these items and he likes integrating them into his outfit. 

 Dislikes: Demytri Dzurhov. He has met him once before and he knows that there is somethings seriously wrong with that guy. 

 The Nazzerela family because They are demon hunters and they make it their goal to destroy the Avvoltoi.  

 He also hates meeting people that he can’t figure out, which is why he is so interested in Nero.

 Fears: Being bound to his brother. He would rather hurt himself instead of working for that evil man. 

 Hobbies: Sightseeing, He also enjoys painting and creating new outfits.

 Talents: Nazzaereno is extremely good at sword fighting. He is a natural with any weapon that he can find, but he an expert with any bladed weapon because it is nearly impossible to get a hit on him when he is fighting. 

 Skills: Like most Avvoltoi, He is fluent in multiple languages and He’s also a very good story teller.

Abilities: Nazzaereno is an Archdemon who was turned into an Avvoltoi, so his abilities are varied. He learned that he can teleport, he can become incorporeal, and he can even possess people for a limited time.

He is immortal and he can’t really feel pain unless its from another Avvoltoi, but he can fake an injury very well. 

 Weapons: 

He has two blades named Tè and Caffè. They are twin curved long swords and they are actually very rare. He bound them to himself, so he can summon them at random.

 Weaknesses: Unknown, but he’s really afraid of the necromancer, Tera Na'Vole.

Secret: He and Janus are friends with benefits. They’ve been together for a bit and since nobody asked, they haven’t told. 

 Influential Memory: It is a negative memory, but he remembers how his brother was willing to kill him so that he could keep his material possessions.

 Role Model: Cinque was that bit of good morality that he needed in his life. She was always a good person to him and anyone that she met.

 Crush: He might have a crush on Akhen. It’s probably not even a crush, but he just likes being near him.

 Source of Embarrassment: He’s embarrassed by the fact that he can do all of these things and that he’s basically a super demon, but once he sees his brother, he can’t do any of that. He freezes up.

 Source of Pride:His swords. He actually killed his brothers fiancée for them. She was a tough fight, but he managed to get through it easy enough. 

 -History-

     Nazz has a spotty memory of his own life. He knows that his oldest brother, Uno, hated him for some reason and that he was the youngest child of a poor family. He heard that his brother had eventually summoned a type of demon that was known as an Avvoltoi. These demons were wish granting ones and he heard that Uno became one of the richest men in Venice because of her. 

      Every month a sibling would go, and Nazz assumed that they were working for him. Something happened and he sent in some guards to kill everyone but Nazz, who was taken as a prisoner and given to Nove so that she could have her own personal play thing. 

     For 5 years, She did horrible things to him. When he was alone one day, he heard from some guards that Uno was growing paranoid and that he feared someone would come to take his money. Nazz knew that she killed all of his guards and he was stabbed by someone. 

      After waking up, Nazzaereno met a friendly woman named Cinque who helped him out. She said that she was his teacher in the Shadow World and he had to do what she said. As he trained, he noticed that there was always a man who would watch him. The guy looked familiar, and Nazz learned that his name was Uno, but that was that. 

     For his first proving mission, Nazz was summoned by a ghoul named Akhenaton. Akhen was an elite soldier and he wanted Nazz as one of his cadets. He made a bond with him and for 5 years they worked together. Akhen admitted that he had feelings for him and Nazz did like him as well, but this was forbidden by the current Queen. He unbound himself from Nazz, but not before he taught him teleportation. 

     To avoid Uno, he started to take on long term contracts like joining armies or being married. He was caught caught and punished by his brother who gave him most of his human memories back while also binding him to Nove, who was as cruel as ever. He wanted to get out, so he teleported to the netherworld where he asked for Akhen’s help. In a drastic measure, he asked the current Reaper, Troa Dødsson, to bind himself to Nazz, which caused him to become unbound from Nove. 

     Nazz made a trap for her which involved him getting caught by the Reapers. When she arrived to get him back, Akhen grabbed her and teleported with her. Knowing that teleportation was disorientating to first timers, Nazz appeared and he cut off her head. He then left the head in Uno’s home, sending him a message. 

     Nazz was free to do what he wanted. As he traveled Italy, he was attacked by Uno. He explained that an eye was for an eye and that if he went with him then he wouldn’t kill Cinque. Nazz was worried, so he willing went with him. 

     Cinque was already dead and he finally caught his brother. Uno physically tortured him for weeks and out of spite, he gave him all of his memories back. He became physically sick from trying to understand what he was seeing. Akhen appeared soon after and he defeated Uno.

     He awoke to see that he was in the netherworld. He saw Akhen and he tried asking him some questions, but he acted strange with him. He told him that he was bound to Troa and that he should speak to him instead, which was odd because he had never brushed him away before. He went to speak to Troa, and he learned that for defying his Queen, Akhen’s memories were erased and he was exiled. Troa also told him that he was actually an Archdemon who was turned into an Avvoltoi, and that he should spend his time reading about his people. He accepted and he’s been in the netherworld ever since.

First off, I’d like to acknowledge how trimmed down Nazz’s profile is with this revision. It’s very much apparent that things have been streamlined, especially in-regards to the History section. Also the included Relationships sections expand the profile for the better as well. These are great improvements that present things that much more clearly and with a lot of extra focus. Thanks for taking those aspects of the prior review to heart – it definitely shows.

Back on the topic of Nazz’s revised History though, I can also see that you’ve reworked his Backstory to make the progression more straightforward. Specifically the biggest shifts being that Uno is now the antagonist (as well as the older brother), Nazz is now a more self-interested, opportunistic character rather than being outright evil, and the story itself starts out in Italy with Nazz as human and moves to the Netherworld from there. Combined with his maintained prior aspects and the trimming of his more cartoonishly villainous ones, I think this is a solid improvement for Nazz himself as well as his overall arc. It makes his traits mesh that much better and gives him a stronger sense of progression.

However, I will suggest that his History section be made more specific at points. This isn’t to say that the information included is bad/inconsistent (the angle of Nazz having memory issues does provide some cover for vagueness), but it does seem a bit too undefined in places. To provide an example, at the end of the third paragraph it’s said that Nazz “was stabbed by someone.” Emphasizing that this was someone Nazz didn’t see (and thus couldn’t identify) or didn’t recognize would allow the moment to be more concrete while retaining the mystery of the attacker. Alternatively, for added antagonism, have the person who finally stabs Nazz be Uno. There are other places like that in this section that could benefit from added precision as well, like Nazz’s training in paragraph four, but I don’t think it needed to be re-written – just made a bit more specific.

Beyond that, the other details of Nazz’s profile all seem pretty straightforward and solid enough. His Personality section is fairly fleshed out, his Appearance section covers all the required bases and goes into nice detail, and his Abilities and various Relationships are all defined. Something I’ll point out that I especially liked about Nazz’s revision is the addition to the main Personality entry about how he seems to be a completely different person around Uno. It highlights the impact Uno’s hostility and torture has had on Nazz pretty well and reflects back on Nazz’s new History section. Especially so given the fact that Nazz has never actually fought or beaten Uno himself. The angle of a demon having to deal with the trauma of years of abuse is an interesting one to say the least.

All in all, this revision is a definite improvement to Nazz’s profile. I think his character comes across more strongly given the streamlined History that keeps the focus on his experiences, actions, and reactions while more accurate reflecting his Personality. The fact that it leaves him with a clear path of future progression makes it even better. It could benefit from being more clear and definite in places, but what you’ve got now is solid.

Thanks again, and I hope this helps!

-D

#SOC Critique #OC Critique #Development Help #General Help #submission #yokaigemini

[mindymusejottings]

My Name is Ghost - Part 5

Credit to porkdo-bi for the gif 

Prologue, 1, 2, 3, 4

Chapter 5

Honestly, how did this happen to me?  I can’t think of a single other time in my life where I have been so royally screwed.  I didn’t usually make it a habit to get involved with other Supers, but what was I supposed to do?!  They encroached on my home, not the other way around!  Now I was standing in front of a large and intimidating mansion where supposedly the leader of a vampire coven (who wants me dead by the way) is waiting for me.  On top of that, I got lightning zapped and then...well...I don’t know.  What the heck was this thing anyway?  The silver glinted in the moonlight as if it was mocking me.  ‘Ha ha ha! You thought you could escape! Jokes on you!’

“You seem nervous,” the vampire beside me mused with one of those stupid grins on his face.  Who even smirks that much?

“I think I have reason to be, don’t you?” I replied tersely.  The nameless man scoffed and lifted his gaze to the building ahead of us.  He was nervous, too.  I could tell by the way he was standing: rigid, jaw set tightly, eyes glinting in the low lamp light of the gate we stood in front of.   He could try to hide it as much as he wanted, but I could still see the hesitance in his eyes.  Knowing that he was nervous only served to make me more so.  His leader must not know that I’m still alive.  Why he would go against orders was beyond me, but at this point, I was just hoping his plan worked.  I might be immortal, but I’m not ready to die just yet.  Not when I’ve barely scratched the surface of this Supernatural world that I apparently belong to.  Not when there are so many new sites to paint and books to indulge in.  Being immortal was both a curse and a blessing, and perhaps it was what remained of my human side, but I didn’t want my life to end.  Not here.  Not now.  Certainly not by the cruel hands of vampires.  I could list a multitude of better ways to die.

“I suppose so,” he replied lightly, before sucking in a deep breath and turning to look at me for the first time since we arrived.  “You’d be stupid to not be nervous.”  He smirked and chuckled at the unamused expression I shot his way.  Very funny.  

Before I could reply to his remark, two men appeared a few feet ahead of us, making me nearly leap out of my skin.  Teleportation, yeah, not my favorite.  It was going to take me awhile to get used to that.  I wasn’t even sure it was possible.  How do you get used to people randomly popping up next to you, or behind you, or in front of you, or just generally in your vicinity without any word?  The man with feline eyes gave me the once over, the smirk on his lips growing as he spotted the silver cuffs that bound my nameless kidnapper and me together.  The man next to him was almost disarmingly...soft?  Is that the right word for him?  He had the face of a cherub, dimples and all.  His eyes were gentle and his whole countenance oozed serenity.  Ordinarily, I would have been put at ease around someone like him, but knowing that he was among the men who attacked the school, his seemingly peaceful nature only creeped me out.  ‘This guy is dangerous’, I thought.  Anyone who seemed so utterly...zen after a massacre is a dangerous individual.  I believe the term being used these days was something like sociopathic.  

“Finally,” the feline eyed man quipped.  “Junmyeon was starting to get restless.”

The serene one nodded, “He was even threatening to go back to the school to complete the job for you.  Imagine his surprise when you waltz in there with the very job he assigned you still very much alive.”   Those calm eyes of his finally turned my way, meeting my frightened gaze strongly.  I shivered under his gaze, feeling nothing but cold from someone who’s voice was so warm.  This guy was indeed dangerous.  I would have to keep an eye on him.  

The man beside me sighed and ran his hand through his hair, which is all fine and dandy except that he brought mine for the ride.  The man only seemed that much more amused by my disgruntled expression and hiss of discomfort as I jerked our hands away from his head.  “Junmyeon said ‘silenced’, didn’t he Yixing?” he finally asked.  The dimpled man cocked his eyebrow but nodded nonetheless.  “Well, there you go.  I silenced her.  He was worried about her talking and ruining our plans and now he doesn’t have to.”

“Jongdae,” Yixing sighed, finally naming the vampire beside me.  Jongdae.  Somehow the name suited him, though I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why that was.  “You know as well as I do what Junmyeon meant.”

“You know as well as I do how rare her type are,” Jongdae deflected easily.  

Her type?  Wait, what?  What was my type?  Did he know what I was?  Most of the Supers I met were just as confounded as I was.  Ghost was just a name I picked up thanks to my abilities, but no one really knew what I was.  It was ever the mystery and yet here were these vampires, of all beings, making it seem like they actually knew for sure what I was.  How messed up was that?  Vampires knew what I was when I didn’t.  “I don’t think Junmyeon is going to care all that much,” Yixing shrugged, “But I’ll support you if you wish to continue.  Of course, you could just kill her now and be done with it.  I doubt Junmyeon would care where exactly you silenced her as long as it was done.”

Jongdae shook his head adamantly.  “Nah, I went through all the trouble of finding theses lovely accessories, why waste them?”

Yixing’s eyes dropped down to inspect the silver cuffs.  He cocked his head to the side before gesturing towards it.  “May I?” he asked, though it wasn’t to Jongdae.  He was addressing me oddly enough.  I was taken aback by his politeness.  For someone who just ripped a bunch of humans limb from limb, he had a lot of manners.  I nodded and lifted our joined arms for him, to which he smiled genially.  The vampire inspected the metal closely, lifting our arms to glance at the other side before trying to pull our arms apart.  To no avail, of course.  

“They won’t come apart unless I will them to,” Jongdae supplied softly.  “They’re lightning laced.”

“Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully.  “This might actually work.”

The cat eyed vampire stepped forward finally, peering around Yixing’s shoulder at the bracelets.  “What do you mean?”

“She can’t go anywhere.  She’s pretty much tethered to our dear Jongdae, which means not only would she be unable to talk about what happened at the school, but we’d also have her at our disposal,” Yixing expounded, though I wasn’t too sure how I felt about the ‘at our disposal’ part.  

“That’s not a bad idea,” the nameless vampire agreed, standing straight again and holding his chin between the thumb and pointer fingers of his right hand.  “If we can convince Junmyeon of her worth, he won’t want to kill her.  Being rare isn’t enough, clearly, but her abilities could come in handy.  How far is your reach?”

Jongdae shrugged, “I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it’s a good distance.  Almost everything is made of metal these days.  I just need a conductor to keep her tethered.”  That was even less encouraging.  Basically, he could leave me tied to some metal pole in the middle of nowhere and I wouldn’t be able to escape.  What a mess.  This was an absolute mess.  

Yixing and the other vampire nodded to each other before turning back to Jongdae.  “Minseok will stay with you here while I go inside and get Junmyeon.  It’s probably best if we do this outside,” Yixing said.  

Minseok, the other vampire I assumed,  must have seen my confused expression because he let out a chuckle and explained, “Junmyeon can be a little...destructive when he’s angry.  We’d rather he not break stuff in the manor.”

“Oh,” I said quietly.  My stomach churned at the thought of having to meet this vampire face to face.  A barbarian in the way he deals with ‘customers’, destructive when he’s angry, what else could this guy be?  He sounded like pure evil.

Yixing vanished in the blink of an eye, leaving me with Minseok and a very nervous Jongdae.  His adam’s apple was bobbing anxiously and his jaw was locked tight.  Maybe to anyone else he would have looked like the picture of stone cold, but not to me.  “You know,” I started casually, looking at him from the corn of my eyes.  “You could just let me go.  I already told you I wouldn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, not happening,” Jongdae ground out.  “I let you go and Junmyeon will have my head on a platter.  I like my head right where it is.”

“Besides, you wouldn’t last long.  It wouldn’t matter where you decided to hide, Junmyeon would find you.  Out of all of us, he’s one of the best trackers, believe it or not.  He also has eyes everywhere, even in dragon territory.”  At my surprised expression, the cat eyed vampire smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.  “What?  Did you think we didn’t know?  We don’t need a mind reader to know you were headed for the one territory that hates us.  It’s the most logical place to run to.  Unfortunately, unless the dragons personally took you under their protection, you would still be free game.  Like I said, Junmyeon has eyes everywhere, which means he also has hands everywhere.  Trust me when I say, this is the best possible outcome for you.  At least you might get to live before this is all over.”

I tried not to shiver as he spoke.  I was so royally screwed and it wasn’t even my fault!  Okay, maybe a little tiny part of it was my fault, but they came to my home!  My home!  What exactly were they up to that made them so hostile?  I didn’t get the chance to ask them, unfortunately.  Just as I opened my mouth two more vampires materialized a few feet in front of us.  They weren’t facing us, though.  The tall one on the left held a stiff stance with his shoulders pulled back and his hands in fists.  The man standing beside him held himself in a similar position.  Minseok turned his body so he could see both me and Jongdae and just past the two newcomers.  I blinked and Yixing was standing in front of Jongdae, hand on his shoulder and a serious look on his face.  

“I do hope you’re prepared because he’s pissed,” Yixing sighed.

“How pissed?” Jongdae asked.

“KIM JONGDAE!”

“That pissed.”

The nightmare that blinked into existence beyond the vampire barricade was just that.  A nightmare.  Eyes black as night, fangs fully extended, and a wall of water swirling behind him like snake posing to strike, death looked far more certain.

��JN��

#chen scenarios #jongdae scenario #chen scenario #exo scenarios #kpop scenarios #exo #chen #jongdae #jnseries

[askderynsharp]

Vampire AU cont. 3

((see you all in hell))

For all his words, it seemed Dylan took no issue with slamming Alek into the snow for a second time. And why would he? Alek knew about the rumored monsters that served aboard British Airships. Creatures neither alive or dead, soulless, damned. Killing men while their backs were turned was likely all the rage on this godless airship.

 Still, Alek didn’t want to go down without a fight no matter how pitiful his final effort may be. It seemed the boys grip was even stronger then it had been before, Alek tried not to think about the fact it was probably his own stolen blood granted Dylan this new power.

 Cold fingers grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look into Dylan’s face. Alek swore to himself that he wouldn’t meet the boys eyes, refused to let himself be dominated. This was all in vain, before he knew it he was transported back to that strange world where nothing existed besides his own uncomfortable body heat and Dylan’s piercing eyes.

 Even if Alek had wanted to fight it this time, he found himself unable to. The cold emptiness was calling to him, his own soul boiling in his body desperate to be stolen by this monster. Again he thought of his parents, wondering if he would see them in that endless vacuum he was about to slip away into. Alek’s veins began to burn and he waited patiently for Dylan to drain his life away.

 But he didn’t.

 Unlike before, the heat didn’t grow unbearable or fill him with panic. Alek just floated in this strange state of mind, unable to fight back but also unable to feel pain. Here there seemed to be no war, no death, no icy tundra infested with bloodsucking fiends. It was almost pleasant, a relief from a weight that had been crushing him ever since the night he fled from his home. Absently he wondered if this was death, if the monster had at least been merciful enough to kill him quickly. Or maybe this was just some sick game, making him relaxed and vulnerable to …sweeten his blood or something. Alek couldn’t form an opinion of either possibilities, couldn’t force himself to care about anything as long as he felt so warm and safe.

 And then, just as suddenly as he had entered this state, it was gone.

 Alek’s body jerked back and tripped on something hard, causing him to lose his balance. Prepared to land on the hard ice, Alek instead felt sheets and a mattress. Opening his eyes he sat up, and found himself in some kind of bedroom. From where he sat, Alek could see he had tripped on the wooden frame of the bed he sat perched atop. A few more moments to take in his surroundings, he noticed that a blanket had been wrapped around his shoulders, and the cut on his hand cleaned and wrapped up in bandages.

 The first thought that came to Alek’s head made him groan with humiliation. Obviously Volger or one of his men had come after him, spotted Dylan’s attack, and fought the creature off. Alek had been brought here and cleaned up, a perfect stupid prince who couldn’t possibly ever take care of himself. He knew that once his head stopped spinning Volger would be here to give him a verbal lashing. Slowly reality crept back into Alek’s mind, the war, his idiocy, and the frigid air.

 And gods wounds but it was freezing!

 Even though he was inside Alek could feel the wind raking its fingers down his back. Had Volger purposely left Alek’s window open to punish him? That seemed entirely unnecessary. Alek rose with indignation to shut the window and found that instead of stone he was met with a metal porthole. The wind blew from the outside through the chipped glass, flecks of snow collecting on the desk below it. Outside was not the tactical view of the valley, but instead nothing but white ice in every direction.

 Alek was inside the Leviathan’s gondola.

 Immediately he dropped the blanket’s pitiful warmth and tried to open the door, even knowing it was locked. Of course, why would these monsters kill him off now? They must know that Alek had come from somewhere, and with their ship crashed he imagined they were in need of more then just supplies. An army was only as strong as a soldier’s appetite was sated.

 He had damned them. In a futile attempt to save the enemy Alek had damned them all!

 Not only the lives of Volger and his men, but of the empire as well. Without him to inherit the throne, this war could wage for years to come. Perhaps centuries if the rumors of the British monsters’ immortality were true.

 “Idiot…” he moaned to himself, falling back onto his cot, “You complete and utter idiot…”

 Alek jumped when he heard the keys turn in the lock, and as the door swung open he didn’t even look up from the floor. There was no point in fighting them. Dylan alone had made a fool of his 16 years of combat training, what could Alek do against more then one?

 “Oh,” A voice came from the doorway, “You didn’t eat your potato.”

 Whatever words Alek expected those were not it. He frowned and looked up to see who looked disappointedly at a tray that rested by the door.

 “You.” Alek hissed, standing at alert.

 Dylan looked up and smiled at him, flashing clean white teeth that had punctured Alek’s skin what felt like moments ago. “Aye, its me. Nice to see you’re doing well.”

 “No thanks to you, abomination.”

 Some semblance of hurt flashed across his features, and if not for the teeth Alek might have thought him a normal boy, but soon the expression passed and he was smiling that awful smile again.

 “That’s a bit rude,” he said, “Considering I made your dinner.”

 He nodded again at the tray, where there was indeed a baked potato placed unceremoniously in what looked like a dog bowl.

 “We had to fight over who got to make it, we never really have an excuse to cook,” He went on, “Newkirk won the coin toss, but you’re my snowboy, so I put my foot down.”

 For a moment Alek was too baffled to even be offended, but that didn’t last long.

 “I’m not your anything!” he snapped, “And you need to let me go at once!”

 Dylan nodded, “That’s true enough, we need to get you back to your relations so we can have a word with your mechanic.”

 Alek felt something cold slide into his stomach.

 “How do you know we have a mechanic?” he demanded.

 The fear in Alek’s voice seemed to baffle Dylan, that or the devil took some amusement from this entire exchange.

 “What, you don’t remember?” he shook his head, “I guess that’s understandable, if I were interrogated I’d probably just blabber about all sorts of things until they let me go, and the officers had you for hours.”

 When the horror on Alek’s face didn’t soften, Dylan adopted a similar expression.

 “What, they had you Mesmerized the whole time?” he said, “Oh…that’s not good…”

 He looked away and chewed nervously on his knuckle, sharp fangs digging into the leather. Alek was confused. He knew why it was bad for him to have all of his secrets extracted without his notice, but why on earth would Dylan care? In the blink of an eye Dylan was upon him again, gripping his shoulders and drawing him close to his face.

 “Do you remember what you told them?”

 If Alek hadn’t experienced first hand that Dylan was below such emotions, he could have sworn he saw fear in the boy’s eyes. This threw Alek off guard, and answered truthfully before he could stop himself.

 “I don’t even recall meeting your officers.” 

 Dyaln dropped him and began to pace in tight fast circles. “Not good… not good.” he muttered.

 “What does it matter to you?” Alek found himself asking.

 Dylan looked up at him and opened his mouth, before something seemed to dawn on him.

 “The Lady Boffin,” Dylan said, grabbing Alek by the arm, “She’s practically run the ship since she’s come aboard, everything the officers know she does too. She can tell us what you said!”

 And then Alek was being dragged down a corridor behind the boy, unable to distinguish where one movement ended and the next began. And it wasn’t like Alek could fight back, the boys grip was like iron and he towed him along with a steady unbreakable pace.

 “But why are you bringing me?” Alek asked.

 “I’m not bringing you, I’m kindly escorting you home like the officers ordered me to.” Dylan said, “But I’m just going to stop by our other guest on the way to see if she needs anything before we head off.”

 Perhaps it was the affirmation that Alek was indeed being sent home safely, perhaps it was the fact that suddenly Dylan had his own reasons to gather information Alek needed as well, but Alek found himself trusting the boy as if he were human. Well, enough to venture a question, anyway.

 “…And who would that other guest be?”

#aleksander hohenberg #aleksander #deryn sharp #vampire au #vampire deryn #Leviathan Trilogy #leviathan series #Scott Westerfeld