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dolokhoded · 4 months

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80s jesus 'verse disciple headcanons pt. 3 (jesus, judas, jb)

my sincere apologies i know i said i'd bost judas "in a little bit" about. 2 weeks ago. here they are. @ that one anon who asked me about judas, my brain works very slowly, there he is

JESUS

ok starting off jesus is gender wacky. idk what he is i use he/him for him but calling him a man feels off. he's my favorite gender identity which is wack.

being somewhat divine does that to you you don't really care for the labels society has completely made up. ANYWAYS

i don't even know what i'm gonna write for jesus i'm sure you know what kinda guy jesus was.

okay. grew up in nazareth with his parents miriam and yosef and his siblings

(don't ask me why im using the hebrew form of names for the parents but not jesus himself. it's because we have a hundred marys.)

he has three siblings, two sisters and one brother, and he's older than all of them with a pretty big age gap, he was kind of an accidental pregnancy

(or, y'know, the son of god. but who knows ! )

had a relatively normal life compared to everyone else. i guess reparations for how well his life went last time idk.

jesus is also the only one out of them all who has somewhat of a sense that they've all existed together somewhere before ? he doesn't clearly remember any of it, but he did recognize his disciples when he met them.

he also has a lot of nightmares. they're vague, but very painful.

anyways aside from that pretty decent upbringing. he always knew that he wanted to help people as much as he can.

he learned carpentry from his dad and although he did study political science he ended up just running his father's shop.

however of course he also runs his organization ! which i really struggle to pick a main cause for because like it's jesus ? i feel like he'd care about anything that helps people he's just trying to make the world a little better.

idk. i'll think about it.

before he was doing that he was doing a lot of activist and volunteer work alongside his cousin john ! you guys know cousin john !

and therefore already had a lot of peers and a lot of friends who then followed him and supported him. the first being andrew, who was very close with john and was there when there was just talk between the three of them and maybe some more friends about jesus starting his own cause

aside from carpentry, which he obviously likes and is very good at, jesus is actually a little bit of a creative in general.

he just started with woodcarving with his leftover supply for fun and then slowly moved on to clay and occasionally even sculpting.

likes to give stuff shape anyways

cares so much for his whole team and always reminds them to be kind to themselves and take care of themselves however he has not practiced self care a single DAY in his entire LIFE

will overwork himself to exhaustion if someone doesn't physically drag him away. has before.

for an all loving creature he has the emotional intelligence of a doorknob

dgmw he's great. he's kind to everyone and all that. he's understanding.

still has not known what the fuck is going on a day in his entire life. each time any of his friends looks the slightest bit off he comes to the wildest possible conclusion.

most of the time said conclusion being that it's his fault

he might be a tiny bit self-centered. usually not in a positive way towards himself either, it just means he thinks he's the cause of everything bad happening in his life.

feels like the world revolves around him, just in a very pessimistic way

but he's got a lot on his plate can you blame him.

love how i went "yeah he's relatively doing pretty well" and then gave him a bunch of issues lol sorry jesus

JUDAS

welcome, queers, i know you're here for him, here he is

judas is an only child and comes from a very rich family.

his parents own an insurance company and have like a bunch of buildings they're renting.

generational wealth, basically. it's all inherited and they're making a shit ton of money out of nothing it's all already set up.

judas' family is also very religious.

and i know that so far two out of the two times i've said that it means the parents are assholes but i swear it's not like that james and john's parents are also religious it just wasn't relevant.

but yeah judas' parents are, in fact, assholes. judas was very involved at the temple from very early childhood.

which unfortunately led to him being abused by religious officials that he could supposedly trust and grew up with.

especially once he started growing into his teens and came to the realization that he very much Does Not like women.

which his parents didn't love either.

somewhere around that time he started to distance himself from his family, especially once he moved away for university. judas studied political science but halfway through kind of changed career plans and double majored in journalism

which was very demanding but he did it anyways !

in university he meets jesus. jesus is in his third year when he's in his first and helps him out a lot. they're both very politically active too and always meet at protests and charity events etcetcetc so, yeah, they know each other. and sure there's something there but judas is very closed off and they drift apart when jesus graduates.

oh, judas also has depression, he was diagnosed at age ten, his family was very ashamed of that as well.

in his last year of university, he falls out with his parents once and for all.

they already weren't close, judas was very hurt by them and obviously he had a lot of personal issues with them but to him the line came when he found out about a lot of things that were going on behind closed doors in his parents' company, they were scamming a lot of innocent people and also partnering with a lot of . really just scum of the earth kind of people.

judas got rightfully very upset and had absolutely zero reason to keep covering up any of this. so he didn't ! and obviously that was very disastrous for the company.

judas gets disowned. not legally, but his parents cut all ties with him. not that he wasn't going to do that himself anyways.

obviously though as a consequence he suddenly has very very limited money. luckily for him he's currently in a relationship with his guy, isaac, who's very happy to let him move into his apartment. it would benefit him too to share the rent anyways. as it turns out, isaac's not a great guy ! judas himself isn't too well either so they have a very weird very unhealthy very codependent relationship and though they fight a lot it takes judas two years until he finally finds the strength to walk out on him.

judas didn't think that through very well because he doesn't really have anywhere to go. to his luck, guess who he runs into !

it's jesus. of course it's jesus this is the dolokhoded bible where the main character is still jesus, no matter how much i love to talk about james and simon.

jesus is on his way to a meeting with his team and he's like hey why don't you come along. and judas does. and that's it, he meets the whole gang, he ends up rooming with andrew and philip for a while before he gets his own place.

and, y'know. he does, eventually, in an excruciatingly slow process that tests the patience of all of their friends, get together with jesus.

okay i prob have to write this too uhh sad stuff ahead judas attempts once.

he's spiraling and overworking himself and hiding it pretty well. has some petty fight with john that jesus scolds him about and then has another fight with jesus over that and overall it's not going swell.

strangely enough it's john who decides to check on him after that. he has not gotten along with judas a day in his life but he could tell how upset he was and jesus is hurt and also a little petty and isn't gonna go do it himself so he decides he might as well. to his horror he stumbles into. well. yeah

he survives.

he moves in with jesus, john and matthew for a while after that.

(a lot of them are rooming they don't have much money)

goes back to therapy too.

okay sad stuff over. it gets better. he's doing well. gets a job at an independent news page and becomes quite known among his circles for his work too.

JOHN THE BAPTIST

or JB.

he does not baptize anyone. his first name is john baptist. don't ask me the logic of being named after himself when he hasn't existed yet for people to be named after him ok making an au of a defining characteristic of current human society is fucking difficult

jesus' cousin. his mother, elisheba, is miriam's sister. she's a good fifteen years older than her, and was in her fourties the year that both jesus and jb were born so her getting pregnant was a bit of a surprise.

grew up with jesus and they're very close. they studied together and they theorized together and they discussed everything together.

very big on environmental activism. and by consequence very very anti-capitalism. very anti-fast fashion, for multiple reasons. also vegan :).

jb genuinely believes the human race is the universe's biggest abomination and we should just go extinct. he's not wrong.

he doesn't pick favorites (but he does and they're andrew and philip they're his favorites)

philip was sort of his right hand

he's kind of there to encourage all the shit jesus can't if he doesn't want absolute chaos and zero planning. give simon a pat on the back for getting into fights with racists and all that.

generally he's a little more radical that jesus is. they don't agree on everything but they both respect each other's stances.

he's so well read. it's obvious too, they're all educated obviously, but this guy talks and you can tell he knows his shit. it's very impressive.

and not even in the sense of being well informed and reading theory he knows literature he knows art he's so cultured and i don't like using the word cultured because it often brings to mind a very western very white very high class perception of "culture" but that's not what i'm talking about here.

jb calls himself an atheist in a more political sense. he believes that people shouldn't rely on some higher force to give humanity and morality substance and should instead search for meaning inside those things alone, otherwise they won't have the right motivations to be moral and therefore their beliefs will have no strong foundation.

he grew up jewish but his relationship with his faith is very personal to him and stays between him and god. he doesn't care to discuss it with anyone, except maybe jesus a few times.

sort of everyone's go-to person for advice. he's there to talk the stupid out of them.

his mother was a seamstress, and he learned from her. he likes to make a lot of his own clothes.

professionally, however, he's a translator. he speaks hebrew, english, greek, russian and arabic. (also a little bit of french and german. he's not qualified to translate those though) (is constantly in the process of learning more)

he just fixated on different alphabets as a teenager a little too hard.

#bible fandom #dolokhoded bible #took me. EIGHTEEN DAYS approximately.#im doing either matthew and philip or matthew philip And either thomas or nathanael next.#whoever doesnt make it to the next post is banished with thad and little james. my dallas jenkins era.#(i am joking fuck dallas jenkins)

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shinymisty-blog · 2 months

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Am I the only one who feels like the episode "Six is a Crowd" was such a missed opportunity for so many things?

For those who don't remember, "Six is a Crowd" gave us this glorious gif:

The episode involves Sonic, Sonia, and Manic going to an Alternative Universe where Robotnik is the leader of the Freedom Fighters while the triplets are evil dictators. (Sonic is a glutton, Manic is money-hungry, and Sonia likes throwing mobians into jail...)

We never see Aleena. I don't even remember her being mentioned. And don't get me started on how pissed I was with not seeing the Alternative, Freedom Fighters Sleet and Dingo in this episode. It was AlL I WANTED out of an episode like this.

So...this is what I would have done with this episode if I could change it.

First off, the Royal Trio's role as the heroes trying to save Mobius would be replaced with the Robotnik trio. This would mean Dingo, Sleet, and Bartleby take the place of Sonic, Manic, and Sonia. (And yes. I am saying Dingo would be the leader of the group). They are searching to find Robotnik, the leader of the Freedom Fighters, to help overthrow the young tyrants ruining Mobius, Sonic, Sonia, and Manic, all while keeping the spirits of the mobians high with jazzy music.

Dingo's the most level-headed of the group, similar to Sonic, but tends to take on more than what he can handle. He also handles the drums (a different kind from Manic's drums). Sleet has street smarts and trusts issues like Manic, always snatching things he feels are needed...or that he feels they (the mobian he'd be stealing from) Shouldn't have. He plays the Double Bass. Bartleby is the one with the highest status but became wanted for crimes he couldn't control, like Sonia, being the one who's able to communicate the easiest with other mobians but has some...issues with adjusting at times. He plays the PianoSAXOPHONE!

So, when OUR triplets arrive in this universe, they are very stunned to see the Buried Hunters finishing a show hidden in a small, back alley within Mobotroplis, and even more shocked to see it being Sleet, Dingo, and Bartleby were the ones playing.

The two groups meet up and some shenanigans happen. Manic and Sleet bond over a shared interest in stealing shit and making the other members of their group have to pull them out of trouble because of it, while Bartleby and Sonia have a strange bond over their childhood friend ending up doing some really bad things. Sonic and Dingo bond over having to step up as leaders when they felt they weren't meant for it.

It'd give us the only episode where the triplets aren't the lead singers, but the "Buried Hunters" instead giving us the song. (I just want an episode where Sleet sings, damn it).

The Royal trio ends up meeting Robotnik, who reveals that, in this universe, he is the leader of the Royal Guard. We'd also learn that, apparently, Sleet and Dingo were very close friends with Bartleby. He then tells them why he hadn't reunited with the Robotnik trio, as all four of them still had to finish through their own paths, but that he felt unsure that they would even accept him back into their lives due to all the damage he had done, not warning the Queen about how poorly she was raising her children could cause issues down the line, blaming himself for the downfall of Mobius. He parallels Aleena and is foreshadowing a reason why Aleena hasn't reunited with them yet.

The Royal trio reassures Robotnik that the Robotnik trio are still fighting BECAUSE they believed in him and that they were trying their hardest to reunite with him, realizing that it may be the same with them and Aleena. With that, they are sent back to their own Universe with the notion that Robotnik is planning to reunite with the Robotnik trio and thanks the Royal trio for helping regain his confidence.

We wouldn't get the same ending we did in the original episode, as the Royal trio were only sent there to learn some simple lesson. They are left wondering how THAT Universe can restore peace to Mobius if they even can, similar to how we wonder if THIS Universe can be restored. The Oracle asks if they believed in the Buried Hunters and Robotnik to do the right thing, which then turns to him asking if they believed in themselves and Aleena to do the right thing when it came to it.

BOOM!

Better lesson than the actual episode...I don't even remember what it was. It could let us see a bit into the villains of the universe in another light, the trio can learn a bit from their journey, giving us some foreshadowing in specific places. Like how the trio would eventually reunite with their mother. WHY she's been avoiding them for so long, teaching the trio that they should do the right thing.

...

AND WE'D GET AU SLEET AND DINGO! WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT?!

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic underground #I talk way to much about this damn show #Sonic Underground AU

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theninthdoor · 11 months

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Can you do bad sides/questionnable reading for enhypen as well ? (Like you did for BTS) Thank youuu :)

again... before you read: make sure that you take everything with a grain of salt and put your common sense to good use! no human being is 100% angel; no one is perfect + some of these things we, ourselves, do or think of doing from time to time. still, if anyone is expecting idols to be some sort of perfect demi-gods, the internet might not be for you 💘 also, of course, i’m not claiming anything as facts. feel free to dismiss my interpretations, if you wish.

Heeseung || the devil, page of wands: Uhh… a little manipulative? He knows what to say to push people's buttons. Plus, might take his jokes a little too far sometimes, too. While said joke might be making someone uncomfortable, if he's not yet satisfied with it, he's not gonna stop. What's funny for him often isn't funny for others, and he might fail to notice that. It could also happen that others feels pressured to laugh at those jokes or go along with his antics just so they aren't the next victim. (mind you, I don't think he's malicious with it, necessarily… he may just lack the maturity or self-awareness to recognize what's reaaally happening)

Jay || the temperance, ace of pentacles: Jay might have a hard time stepping out of his comfort zone, and so he tries to mold people into what better fits said comfort zone. If he thinks something is the best of its kind (i.e.: a restaurant or a style of jeans), he will want everybody to have the same opinion or follow his own. Passive-aggressiveness might also be an issue here.

Jake || three of swords, ace of swords: Knows how to hit a raw nerve, and might do it more often than he should. He's the type to remember things/secrets a person has told him and use that against them later on, specially when they have hurt his feelings. Will bring up people's past mistakes, too, for sure… Plus, once you hurt him, he'll make sure you know it and acknowledge it!

Sunghoon || four of wands, eight of cups: Escapism; faking it. Fakes his personality and/or tastes and preferences in order to fit in. Would rather run than confront others over things that have upset him. Might also be the type to say one thing in front of the larger group of people, and then go and say another in private to someone he trusts.

Sunoo || wheel of fortune, ace of wands: Unpredictable. Always looking for the next big thing. He just isn't very commited to stuff, specially if something else more interesting or promising comes up. It may be hard to get him to follow through with an idea or plan - it's a "do it now or you may never actually do it" type of thing. He just loses interest very easily, it seems.

Jungwon || ace of pentacles, eight of swords: I wouldn't necessarily say close minded, but more like… short-sighted? He rejects things/ideas/people too fast upon a first impression, and doesn't give them the opportunity to unravel into something that, perhaps, he'd find really quite interesting. For example, if 7 years ago he found a 12-in-1 shampoo that worked for his needs, in those 7 years he has never accepted any other shampoo suggestion and will shit-talk all other options… you won't get him to change his mind bc, honestly, he doesn't care. It might be better for him and give him better results but, instead of considering that, he's thinking about NOT getting what this 12-in-1 provides for him right now. Besides that, he may also be a little material focused and reject some opportunities in order to focus on work, to save money, or simply because he thinks it's below himself.

Ni-ki || three of swords, king of wands: Lol… he plays the victim very well! Ni-ki knows how to use his acting skills to get what he wants, for sure… Dramatic. Pushy. Hates it when people don't pay attention to him - OR when they don't give him the amount of attention he thinks he deserves. "My way or the highway… unless you wanna hear me whine about it for a month, of course".

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

#tqqenhypen

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a-tale-never-told · 5 months

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Okay, okay! I'll tell you why I went to Hope's Peak in the first place. Just... promise me you won't tell anyone about the reasons why I wanted to attend there, okay? It's kinda sensitive for me to say.

Absolutely. I swear that I won't tell any part of this to anybody besides you and me, alright? Now what are the main reasons of why'd you decided to attend Hope's Peak in the first place?

Well, it's not that complicated. I mean, I first started out as a mechanic cuz my family ran a bike shop. We didn’t have a lotta work or money, and oftentimes, we were balancing between makin' a decent living for ourselves, and almost on the verge of going broke. So I just spent time taking stuff apart and puttin’ it together to impress potential customers, to help my folks with the expenses that we'd often had to pay for buying stuff.

I always just kinda made stuff for me, y’know? I had my own ideas and I wanted to make ‘em. But my folks always got pissed at me over it, calling ‘em "worthless toys," and saying that I ain't gonna make a career buildin' anything besides bikes. And that's not to mention the issues going on at home.

Family issues? No offense, but I'd never taken you for a guy who has parental issues, considering how laidback you seem to be.

It’s a lot to go into, but…well, my mom wasn’t a great…anything

She was kind of a stalker who followed Dad through high school, but nobody else wanted to date him, so the two of them just sorta ended up together. And when they did, she didn’t even let him look at other women. Not even ones he wasn’t interested in.

And she didn’t do much to help him around the house or improve our situation. He ran the bike shop, did the cooking, cleaning, and just…a lot of things for me. He was stressed out a lot of the time, and so…he kinda took it out on me. I don’t blame him though.

Mom hardly gave a shit about me anyway. If I was a girl, maybe she’d be better to me, maybe she’d have been worse. I dunno.

However, they finally got divorced back in 2008, and since then, things started to improve for me and Dad. We ended up makin' more money than we used to thanks to a genius advertising campaign I'd come up with for the bike shop. The amount of money that we've raised was sizeable enough that we were able to move out of the cruddy apartment we'd been living in since I was a child.

So, we settled on making a livin' in the countryside, bought this gorgeous, summer vacation house, and even started up our own automotive repair shop to pay off the expenses that came up when we'd moved in. At the same time though, there was this nagging, weird feeling in the back of my head.

I couldn't quite put down what I was feeling, but then I realized that I felt obligated to owe my dad something in compensation for all the hard work and sacrifices he'd put in to make sure I had a healthy upbringing, even if it means dealing with my crappy excuse of a mom. The problem is, I didn't know how to repay him for all of that. After all, he'd always exclude me from doin' most of the work, calling me young and inexperienced when it came to handling bigger projects.

But, when I overheard that a talent scout from Hope's Peak was searching for people with skilled talents like me, I decided to sign up for the opportunity to attend not only because I like makin' and fixin' things, but also to prove a point to my old man that I'm capable of taking over the family business once he retires, and trying my hardest to impress him. I was excited to be enrolled there... sorta.

Oh?

Hope's Peak... isn't what it's cracked up to be. Behind this mask of politeness and sincerity, the school is packed with racist, selfish, rotten, jerkasses who'll basically do nothin' more than betray each other for the pettiest of reasons. And the teachers aren't any better, teaching us that talent is everything we're supposed to live up to in society, or how commies are the new Nazis or something comparable to that.

At the same time, I didn't really bother to pay attention to all of that political crap and occasionally ignored it whenever I could. All I was concerned about was impressing my dad and creating some sweet, radical, gadgets for everyday use.

While we're on the subject of Hope's Peak, how exactly did your dad officially react to you attending Hope's Peak? He must've been overjoyed to hear that you got recognized as being part of an elite group of talented people, right?

...!

S-Souda-kun? What's with that terrified expression on your face? Did something happen between you and your dad?

... See, my old man's really not a bad person, but he's not what I would've liked to call the calmest person that I've known. Even though he and Mom had been divorced for four years now, he hasn't really recovered from the aftereffects of the divorce. Probably affected him a whole more than I'd thought. But when he figured out that I was attending Hope's Peak... it wasn't gonna end well for both of us.

The moment I'd arrived home, he started yelling at me to my face, gettin' pissed off over how I'd never explained to him that I was attending the academy, which is understandable. What wasn't was when he started to insult and mock the rest of the student body, calling them "low-life bigoted freaks that only embody the absolute worst of society" and how Hope's Peak is nothing more than a school shoving down vile, shitty propaganda about talents and white supremacy, while being run by corrupt, greedy assholes.

Looking back, it's perfectly clear to see that he wasn't wrong about this school and how it works, but back then, I was too stupid and naive to even listen to whatever damm reasons he'd had, and I certainly wasn't going to take his insults laying down, after I just built a career for myself. It all escalated into a full-blown argument about me attending.

However, I took it one step too far when I called him a drunken coward, calling him out for all of his crappy mistakes as a father, and then... I brought up the whole divorce situation that happened a while back. Out of all the stuff I've said to him that day, bringing up the divorce was the last straw for him, and he...he...

He slapped me... hit me so damm hard that I collapsed to the floor, holding my cheek, all red. My dad kinda always had a particular habit of taking his anger out on me whenever he was stressed... but this hurt way more than the other times it'd happen... at least back then, he didn't directly call me a failure... an embarrassment... and wished that I'd never was born...

#danganronpa #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #kazuichi souda #hajime hinata #a tale never told #DR #twlight syndrome arc #ask #spyrkle4 #anonymous

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popculturebuffet · 2 years

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Hello all you happy people. It's time again to watch for the Watchmen , with only three issues and three months left till midnight. It's been.. a heck of a ride and it's hard to believe it's almost over and we'll be moving on to ducks what were iron armor next year, because apparently these yearly patreon quests of kevs are never not emotionally jarring. So come with me under the cut as we continue our final days towards Armageddon and giant squids as Dan is forced to hand hold an extreme right wing man through stopping the apocalypse. So another tuesday for them.

Two Riders Approaching is a great issue, and while like many before it it feels like a way to move the plot gears, unlike past gear turning issues it has a bit more character. While I'm still bummed we didn't get a spotlight issue for dan that covered his history and motivations in the same way as most of the main cast (minus adrian) , I still think this issue and "brother to Dragons did a good job showing who he is as a person. Now WHY Dan didn't get a spotlight

There's no clear reason. Maybe they just had better stories, maybe there wasn't enough time, maybe they considered hte one where he can't get it up unless he's in a costume one and called it a day. I dunno. This one does show Dan on the job, genuinely doing his best to unwrap this mystery before the end of the world, with the sorta help of the mumbling MAGA man with a plan. And several conspiracies about jewish space lasers he'd love to share with you. We do cut to some other things going on as we go. First stop…

As he's heading into a hidden bunker compliimplating armageddon. One of his companions is G. Gordon LIddy, and just the thought of LIddy having any sort of postion of power or influence is more terrifying than the threat of nuclear armageddon. I also assume since Nixon couldn't bring his wife with him they let him bring the next closest person in his life, his beloved Cocker Spaniel Checkers

At any rate we cut back to our dynamic-ish duo as Your Gonna Hear Him Rorshach brings up that it's sad "Mrs. Juspick" coudln't join us.. because apparently he shows his graditute for prison breaks by twisting the knife. Just kidding he has no gratitude for anyone or anything.

Anyways our heroes go to get his costume, with Row Row Row Your Shach Gently Past Sanity saying the methodical take down of them all was too easy and they must be careful in the future. Dan understandably pipes up

And points out that's part of why he's iffy about this side quest. They only have a WEEK till the end of the world at most to figure out whose behind this plot, stop them and hopefully HAVE some sort of future by stopping them and he's at a loss as what to do epsecially since again time is ticking away. Rorshach mumbles something abotu how "some of us have always lived on the edge Daniel. " like he's on an episode of doomsday preppers. One upside of the waking nightmare that is the warner bros discovery merger: we MAY just get an episode of doomsday preppers on shach adam here.

Shachers left some stuff under a floorboard Lane Kim style, specifcally a spare uniform and his rambling manefesto: "ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES:WHY THIS WORLD IS FUCKED by RORSHACH" with a foreword by frank miller. His landlady shows up understandably afraid for her life… and then he confronts her, mad about her claiming he came on to her sexually. I mean I do GET where he's coming from: Faking sexual assault or harassment is just about the lowest fucking thing you can do to someone, and while that someone is Rorshach shit like this makes it harder on people who've LEGITAMTELY been harassed or assaulted to have their claims heard without dudebros piping up "well she's a lying bitch bro". She could've still sold her story without it.

That said i'm still sympathetic to her as while she could've left that part out, it's unknown if the news guys ASKED her for it to spice it up or she needed it to get money, money to feed her handful of children that I can't blame her for taking. Also she had to deal with Rorshach as a tennant and that.. can't have been easy. Like i'm usually not sympathetic to landlords, but the smell of beans and him not bathing for months on end had to be toxic by the time he was arrested. The fact his response to give her a look that internally just screams (Chucky)

And call her a whore in front of her children kinda proves my point. What she did ws horrible and he's right to be angry but I can't help but sympathize with someone he was about to brutalize or murder had she not pointed out her kids didn't know and were right there. This DOES give him the rare human moment of walking away, deciding not to repeat the kind of crap he'd been through as a kid and recognizing that this woman is not his mother and is actually trying to keep those two worlds separate for more than just not wanting to loose money.

We cut to Ozymandis who is pulling in to his winter fortress and reuniting with his kitty bubastis. He does the very normal thing of.. watching 80 thousand tvs at once, channel change every hundred seconds. This shows both his ability to focus… and how fast his mind works. He instantly picks up a sexual subtext due to the heavy undercurrent of war, citing the baby boom as a similar incident, and has his employees buy up shares of pornographic companies in the short term and baby food and other baby stuff in the long. It also subtly hints that Adrian expects the world NOT to end… and that whatever he's planning involves stopping it.

Back to our odd couple who are understandably bickering. Daniel from the smell, Shackles hadn't thought of the smell that bitch, and Shach from danny boy daring to… use a crime computer to look for some sort of connection instead of randomly assaulting people. Danny serious question: why did you think you needed him again?

Dan eventually lays into Roshach honestly asking you know how hard it is being your friend…. before backing off and apologizing

Shockingly we get ANOTHER almost human moment from Mickey Roarshach as he apologizes fo rhow hard he's been, admits daniels a good friend and Dan splits the diffrence deciding the old team needs to go beat up some thugs or something to feel normal because that's a thing healthy people do. Shockingly Roshachs strategy of "beat up people till we luck into who we need" actually WORKS this time, and it only takes two filithy bars to find the guy who ired the guy who tried to kill adrian: we only get a company, Pyramid Deliveries. Hmm i think I may know our culprit now

Dan nearly looses it after finding out about hollis and it really grips at the heart: he nearly sinks to Roarshach's level. HIs smelly smelly level. Shach TRIES to be helpful byu pointing out if they find the solution to hte mask killer it might mean vengance. Dan gets that A) this is clearly unconnected and B) NOT THE TIME FOR THAT.. .but recognizes soon after this is the closest Rorshach can give to actual condolences and continues the ivnestigation

Meanwhile two of the people kidnapped for that thing prepare to escape on a boat only for it to explode

Also we ge tmore of the tails of the black freighter. Pirate man kills two people to hid ehis plans… for what he sees as the greater good. Hmmmm.. foreshadowing.

For what's next.. well techncially the explosion was next because the schmuck writing this forgot to include the tales bit earlier. So our heroes head to Adrian's office. Too bad his dad's probably dead in this realtity. We could've seen them dodge some lasers and find some shit destroying lasers and monologues about teenagers in fur suits. At any rate while Rorshach rambles into the void, can relate and that worrie sme a lot, dan gets actual work done and finds out the horrifying truth: Adiran is behind it all!

… Yeah while I went into this having read the complete series before, and thus knew this, even then it's not an actual suprise. Like at this point most of the other culprits have been ruled out, and while yes he was attacked… it's something that could easily be faked. Like it was obvious an issue or two before this it was Adrian. We don't know QUITE why yet, though there is a clue as Dan and Radio Shach find a chart detailing a war in a decade that seemingly came early. But given the lack of suspects combined with the fact that with Laurie ruled out Adiran was the only one healthy enough out of the known cast to throw someone out a window, and it becomes shockingly obvious. The reason it's usprising is that the entire story is build around a mystery.. that gives you plenty of clues but not enough suspects. It IS a tad hard to figure out at first blind, as Dan, Laurie and Adrian are all valid suspects all with the connections to pull this off.. but Adrian was alwasy the prime suspect.

Our heroes prepare to confront Adrian at karnak, his artic fortress because he's clearly going full republic serial villian despite his protests next issue, with Rorshach dropping off his journal at Right Wing News Co… where it gets put in the crank file. WE end this issue on our heroes… crashing into the arctic as Archie wasn't built for it and while time is of the essence dan didn't think to maybe you know, prepare for that before heading off into the frozen north. He did pack his thermal gear. Our heroes approach as Adrian assures his kitty everything's all right. Kind of a weird way to end this but a great way to ratchet up tension as we prepare for the climax. In a month. We also get some various press stuff from adiran's company. It's all fairly neat especially the toy proposal which he mostly rejects, wantin ga shift to more gi joe style stuff as superheros haven't been popular here.

So with that this issue comes to a close, the clock moves one tick closer to midnight and this story is about to reach one of it's most iconic moments. I'd like to tell you i did next months review 30 mintues ago… but I did not so come back next month for that and thanks for reading.

#watchmen #nite owl #dan dreiberg #rorshach #alan moore #dc comics #adrian veidt #ozymandis

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throwawayformydb · 6 years

Text

Falling in love everyday

Note: this post was originally published on /r/DeadBedrooms

Today, I realized I'm falling in love a lot. It might be a waitress, a barista, or someone I see walking by. These women aren't necessarily provocatively dressed, they don't exude sexual energy or some other magical thing.

They just seem nice.

And as I sat here in a coffee shop trying not to follow the nice-seeming barista around the store with my eyes as she went about her duties, it occurred to me just how pathetic this is. I feel like that socially-awkward, hopeless guy that we all knew in high school—the one that you just knew would never get a date, because he'd never have the courage to ask for one.

Only for me it isn't a lack of courage. It's that I'm married to someone whom I love dearly, but from whom I no longer receive any affection.

She'd kill me if she saw me looking at other women. She'd be devastated if she knew how often I find my heart beating a little faster when someone who happens to be female shows me the least big of basic human kindness. A smile, a funny remark. A little cheerful banter.

Why does all of this affect me this way? Because I haven't felt it from or for my wife in... much longer than I care to admit.

Sure—we still exchange "I love yous" every day. I do everything I can to make her life easier. I help around the house. I offer to do school drop-offs and pick-ups. I help with homework. I also work endless hours in the business we've built together and carry far more of the weight than I should, or that's even close to sustainable. For her, we're better off financially than we've been in years. But I'm the one handling all the stress of the money and daily juggling all the pressures to make sure she doesn't have to handle the difficult stuff.

And we have sex once or twice a month. I almost never initiate anymore because it feels to her like I'm pressuring her. We've talked. We've had something similar to "the talk." She's going to work on it, she really is. But things have been hard. Transitions in parenting. Transitions in hormones. Being sick. Being busy. Extra stuff on the plate.

It all adds up. But what it adds up to is, "I don't matter." My feelings don't matter. The fact that I feel unloved doesn't matter. The fact that nothing I've done (including creating more financial stability) makes her want to be affectionate towards me—not to mention have sex with me—tells me that she really is the self-centered person I always told myself she wasn't. I made all the excuses for her. I've listened empathetically as she's told me tales of trauma as a young woman at the hands of guys who were abusive—verbally and emotionally, at least. I've tried to help nurture her and encourage her through body image issues (she's always been beautiful and desirable to me and she has heard this from me for 20 years now), eating disorders, depression, parenting difficulties... you name it.

I've tried desperately to not be selfish. Don't be "that guy." You know—the one that only cares about himself. The one that treats women like shit. The one that doesn't respect the effort and hardships that come with being a woman in today's society, being a Mom, being uniquely female. I respect all of that. I've always treated her right.

Until lately. Oh sure, I still treat her right. But inside I'm dying. I'm looking for love. I'm looking for affection, for attention. I crave basic human contact. Hugs (which I get from her, but not often), kisses, affection, making out. What would it be like to be kissed passionately?

And that's what I wonder when I meet a nice female. Do they know that inside I'm dying? That I want to be with them? Not to use them lustfully or just get off over their physical attributes. But to feel connected. To kiss. To love.

We've got a list of marriage counselors. With no insurance, some of these prices seem staggering. Is it worth it for me to go to sessions with a therapist and pay all the money when I feel like I've lost hope that any of this will ever change?

Should I just accept that we have a business relationship? A domestic arrangement? At least until we're empty nesters and I don't feel the need to keep a stable household like a good father? But by then will I have any desirability left at all for any woman I meet? Old and used up? My best years wasted on someone who just didn't have it in her—not maliciously, but just as a deficiency—to love me, desire me, make me feel loved?

Do the people sitting here in this coffee shop notice me discreetly wiping a tear from my eye? Do I look like I'm dying inside? I hope not. My facade is all I have left.

#deadbedroom #dead bedroom

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ikpopwriting · 1 year

Note

Hey! Sorry I don't want this to come off as rude or something, but I wanted to warn you against blindly jumping on "X member gets mistreated" bandwagons. Most of the time they are started by solos to make other members look bad or to "get" the member to leave the company and go solo under the guise of being concerned.

The information regarding the airport stems from exactly one singular video out of context from either a sasaeng or a media person who wasn't allowed to be filming in that sepcific location. Hobi doesn't seem to even be aware that he's being filmed, so my guess is sasaeng. And other than that video, we know nothing of the situation, so it could for example be that the 'non-present' staff is actually talking to airport personel about the suitcase while Hobi is looking for it since he'd know the design/looks best. Of course, we don't know that, but we also don't know if he was actually left alone.

As for JITB, I doubt the company could seriously force anything on the members if they were completely against it. Not only are they adults who think and make decisions for themselves, but also exactly for the reason you stated: BTS is their main source of revenue. That's just facts. And BTS /knows/ that too, otherwise they wouldn't have stayed and negotiated after their first contract ran out. And again, we don't know what goes on behind the creation of an album, but I am convinced that the members are very involved in the making of their own solo projects as they were with group releases and Hobi has been known to be invironmentally conscious, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was his decision to not have a physical album. (Of course that doesn't mean you can’t be upset about it, I know I am cause I love collecting the CDs, but it is what it is.) And from a company and business point of view, it would make absolutely no sense for the company to suppress a BTS members solo release. They are a company and a company wants money. That's always the case. And Hybe knows how popular BTS is and how much money they can make the company. So if they actually would force a member to do something regarding an album, it would be to produce an insane amount of (paid) content (including a physical album with multiple versions) so they get money. BTS already made them so much money in the past and now they have the chance to get that times 7, it wouldn't make sense for a company to suppress an artist's solo debut when the artist in question is as big as Hobi is. (Alternatively, Hybe might've wanted to switch to digital albums in general but saw the negative feedback this part of JITB got on weverse and listened to the fans and switched back real quick. Cause I know I told them that I'd really prefer a physical album on the feedback.)

At the end of the day my main point is this: we don't know jack shit about what is going on behind the scenes if the members don't want us to know about it. So if any member ever publicly tells us that he has been mistreated or something, I will be the first person in line to jump at somebody's throat because I love them with all my heart and they make me uncredibly jappy. Until then I trust them and their decisions, even if it might be hard for me sometimes. When I just recently became an Army back in 2019, I fell into that solo/anti rhetoric because they framed it nicely and I just wanted to help the member in question. Well, turns out that these actions (e.g. hashtags) blew up the issue (that was in fact not an issue at all as it turned out later) so much, that it resulted in a lot of negative press against that member and somewhat harmed him/his image. By trying to help him, I made the situation a lot worse and I honestly still haven't forgiven myself for that. But that was an incredibly important learning moment for me and now I try to make other Armys aware of that as well, so they don't make the same mistakes I did.

Like I said, I don't want you to see this as rude and I don't want you to feel bad about it, I just want to raise your awareness that we as fans don't know anything in the end and the best thing we can do is trust the members and their choices, even if that choice is not to tell us something. I know it can be hard sometimes, but with a group as big as BTS we can be sure that they have options to make something public if they really wanted to (and they also all have their own lawyers). And others know that too, so they'd rather avoid doing things that would cause repercussions.

So that said, I hope you have a good day and take care of yourself! 💜

P.S. sorry for the huge message, I know it's a lot 🙈

No offense taken, and I didn’t take you as being rude at all!

I wasn’t intending to seem like I was jumping on any bandwagons. I’ve looked into the situation and the release of Hobi’s album was just handled poorly in comparison to others, including his own past projects. I’m not sure if that was because it was strictly a digital release or what.

As for the video, I still haven’t seen it and I try not to take anything said in relation to celebrities too seriously until I have done the proper digging myself. After 7 years as a kpop fan, I have seen many campaigns by sasaengs to harm the reputation of various idols or companies, so while I don’t think BigHit/Hybe would do something to hurt the boys at this time, they’re entering new territory and I’m just wondering how prepared they are for it. Jack in the Box’s press was the worst I’ve seen from the company so far, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt

#jess talks #jess answers #anon ask #anonymous ask #anon #anonymous

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whimsicallyreading · 3 years

Text

For Day 29 of Rowaelin Month

“A song fic-“

The song- “Always Been You” by Quinn XCII

CW- Mentions of miscarriage and divorce

"I can't believe you right now."

Rowan looks at his wife in frustration. She's sitting at the end of their bed, staring listlessly at the wall. The skirt of the red dress she's wearing is wrinkled, and his heart aches when he notices the mascara marks on her cheeks.

"Aelin," Rowan tries again to reach for her, but she leans away from his grasp.

"No, Rowan. I'm done."

Rowan takes a long swing from the beer in front of him. The time on his phone alerts him that he's spent most of the evening sulking at his bar.

The guys had invited him to dinner, but Rowan hadn't felt like going in light of his current situation. Instead, choosing to meander to the shady little pub they'd passed by coming from the airport.

His lawyer had sent him numerous emails. Documents to sign, agreements to approve, and papers he needed to read through before sending them to the judge.

Divorce was a pain, and Aelin wasn't making it easy.

"Hey, bud. I thought I might find you here." Fenrys slides onto the barstool next to his.

Rowan sighs and rubs the lines forming on his forehead. "Well, I thought it was obvious I didn't want company."

"Too bad. Drinking alone isn't a good look on you." Fenrys raises a hand and motions for another round of beers. "How are things going with ya know?"

"Shitty. She's never paid a dime of rent on that apartment, but she wants the lease signed into her name and for me to front the first four months of rent." Rowan cracks a peanut between his finger. He has no intent to eat the growing pile in front of him. He just craved the satisfaction of breaking something.

"Well, have you talked to her about that?" Fenrys frowns in sympathy, knowing how equally attached both parties were to the little rental.

Rowan laughs mirthlessly. "No, she said that it was better if our conversations were mediated. I always knew Aelin was catty, but she's acting like such a-"

"Don't." Fenrys gives Rowan a severe look. "I know you are upset, but don't start saying shit you'll regret."

Rowan pauses and reluctantly nods his agreement. It's the alcohol talking. He knew the problems that had festered his marriage were predominantly his responsibility.

He takes a deep breath, but a heaviness seems to keep the air from reaching his lungs fully. The weight was slowly becoming too familiar, starting the day Aelin had presented him with the papers.

Rowan wishes he'd done more. Wishes he'd paid more attention and seen the signs of Aelin's unhappiness.

The day Aelin had broken down in their bedroom had been a cold wake-up call but by then? It was already too late.

"You missed our anniversary Rowan." Aelin shouts and pulls her heels off angrily.

Rowan picks up a shoe and tries to hand it back to her. "I know. I'm sorry. It's not too late, though. We can still go out? There's still time to salvage-"

Aelin turns away from him and seems to fold in on herself. Rowan wants to reach out. He wants to hold her, but something dark is building in the air.

"I don't want your leftovers, Rowan," Aelin whispers. "That's all I get anymore—your leftover time. Your leftover attention. Whatever leftover resentment you bring home from work."

"Aelin-" he tries to cut off her depressive spiral, but she's not finished.

"You used to call me during the day." Aelin's voice cracks, and he realizes she's crying. "Every day, you would call me on your break. Now you don't even call when you leave town."

"Baby, just listen to me." He puts his hands on her shoulders, but Aelin breaks his grasp to turn around and look at him.

"Is there someone else?" Her eyes are wide and vulnerable. So unlike his regular Aelin."

"What?" His brain is struggling even to formulate a reply. Rowan's lack of response only causes Aelin to worry more.

Something in her cracks. There's a quiver to her lips, and her face drains of color. "Oh. Oh no."

"Aelin. I swear there is no one else." Rowan finally says, but it's too late.

"Is," Aelin presses the heels of her hands against her eyes. "Is it because I lost the baby?" She sucks in a hiccupping breath. "You've always wanted kids. So did I, but my fucking body doesn't work."

Aelin closes her eyes, and Rowan knows she's speaking more to herself than him, but her words gut him just the same. "My body doesn't work right. I keep giving us false hopes and wasting money on pregnancy tests. Of course, you would look for a woman who can give you what you want."

He's surprised by the sudden flare of anger in him. "Don't put words in my mouth. That will never be your fault."

They'd known right from the start their journey to parenthood would be a long one. Aelin had a family history of complicated fertility. It had seemed so trivial when they got married. Yet even knowing there could be issues, nothing quite prepared them for the pain of a miscarriage.

Aelin sniffles, unable to force back her grief, "But you resent me. Don't you?"

Rowan doesn't reply.

"It's rough," Rowan admits out loud. "I let a lot get left unsaid. I was hurt and pushed her away. Now she won't even speak to me without a lawyer present."

Fenrys nods, "It's all probably for the best. Once this is over, you guys can put this drama behind you."

"I wish it were that easy," Rowan knocks back the rest of his beer. He grimaces at the drink. It's not taking hold quickly enough.

Fenrys raises an eyebrow. "You both will be able to shut the book on this chapter of your lives and move on? Considering how bloody you two have been fighting, it sounds ideal."

They sit in silence. Fenrys takes the peanut basket away from Rowan and picks at the shells. The bartender comes by, and disgruntledly eyes Rowan's pile of crumbs as he orders a whiskey neat.

Fen was like his little brother, but Rowan found it hard to admit his real problem to him aloud. "I still love her."

The basket goes flying over the side of the counter, and Fenrys chokes on his beer. "What?"

Rowan can't look him in the eye, "We lost a baby. It was early. Aelin didn't want to tell everyone. Three years we tried to get pregnant, and finally, a test comes back positive. She was so happy."

"Shit," Fenrys says quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"It was there, and then it was gone. I thought Aelin was fine. She cried for a week, but then it was like a switch flipped, and she was back to normal." Rowan clenches a napkin in his fist. "I was devastated. It hurt like hell, but I didn't want to send her back into a depression." Rowan shakes his head at how stupid he'd been. "So I put some distance between us. I didn't want her to think I was upset with her."

"I didn't feel better," Rowan sips the whiskey, relishing the warmth. "It made me mad that she got over it so quickly, and I couldn't. I didn't realize that I was growing that space between us. I didn't understand how much guilt she harbored and that she tried to be strong for me. Not until she broke."

"We fought. I said all the wrong things. Aelin couldn't take it anymore, she left, and I didn't stop her." Rowan leans his head on his hands and elbows against the counter. "She's the love of my life, and I watched her walk out the door."

Fenrys sucks in a breath and sighs. "You are my best friend, and I mean this in the most loving way possible. Why the hell are you here?"

"What?" Rowan looks at Fenrys annoyed face.

"Get out of here. Go. I'll tell the boss you have ebola or some shit." Fenrys fishes his wallet out and throws cash on the bar. "I'll even cover the tab. Just leave. Now."

"What? I don't understand?"

Fenrys looks at Rowan like he's stupid. "No offense, but you are about as interesting as a brick wall. The fact you caught a girl like Aelin is astonishing. If you love her, are you honestly going to let her go on being miserable?"

"She's not miserable," Rowan scoffs.

Fenrys laughs bitterly. "You forget I'm pals with Aedion too? Aelin winds up at his house almost every evening crying her eyes out. You two are still hopelessly in love. You're just dumb and badly in need of a good conversation."

"Aelin is upset?" A sense of disbelief washes over him.

"Yes! She misses you, but she's under the impression you are off sleeping around." His face saddens. "I told Aedion you weren't. He knows I go on all of these trips with you. Aelin's just upset you're gone and needs to believe in something that can help her let go."

Rowan stands up, swaying. "I have to go."

"Hell yeah, you do. Give Aelin my love," Fenrys waves as Rowan vates the bar like a hawk out of hell.

Aelin sets the stack of papers in front of him.

Rowan had been camping out in his office ever since there disaster of an anniversary. He'd texted a few times, but every time they talked, it was like relighting a fuze. Things weren't getting better.

"What are these?" Rowan asks without looking up from his screen.

"Your ticket to freedom," Aelin sits in the chair across from him.

She looks thin, thinner than she did when Arobynn was her foster father. It physically hurts Rowan that he's causing her that kind of stress. Glancing at the papers, she slapped in front of him. His blood becomes like an ice river through his body. "Aelin-"

"I'm not the one for you. That's apparent now. I won't hold you hostage in a marriage that you aren't happy in." Aelin blinks, and a tear slides down her face. He wants to wipe it away, but he's beyond angry. She was giving up on them.

"If this is what you want," Rowan slides the papers towards him and pulls out a pen.

Rowan is racing the familiar paths to their apartment. He doesn't care that it's almost four in the morning. The plane ride between Perranth and Ornyth is mercifully short, but he can't force himself to wait another minute.

"Aelin," he yells through their door. "Baby, answer me. Open the door."

Rowan's fists tap a consistent rhythm on the door, and his heart skips a beat when a bedraggled Aelin finally appears. "Rowan, do you know what time it is?"

She's in a pair of grey flannel pajamas, not one of her usual silky numbers. Aelin's eyes are red around the edges, and her face is still dewy from the excessive amount of lotion he knows she loves to put on. Rowan knows all of her routines. All of her favorite outfits, comfort movies, and best memories. He knows the scar she has on her left hand from an abusive foster father. Rowan remembers how the bridge of her nose wrinkles when she's upset in the same spot her cousin's does.

He knows everything about her, because not only were they husband and wife, they were best friends.

How could he have let that go?

Before Aelin can ask any more questions, Rowan has swept her into his arms. "I missed you so damn much."

"Rowan, have you been drinking?" Aelin asks in a voice cracked with emotion.

His hands are running up her back, and his knows burrows into her hair. He's always loved the smell of her jasmine shampoo. "Fireheart, I never resented you for losing the baby."

"Rowan, I don't want to talk about this," Aelin tries to push him away, but he squeezes her into his chest, and she melts.

That had been his mistake. He should have held Aelik like this and never let her go on pretending to be happy. How could he know everything about this woman and not have seen past her facade? She'd suffered. His own pain had blinded him.

"Aelin, I've made so many mistakes lately." Rowan rubs the back of Aelin's neck the way she likes, and he can feel the sobs starting to build up inside of her. "But the greatest shame of my life is not being there for you when you needed me. I was stupid, Fireheart. I'm not going to be stupid any longer. This separation can't go on, we aren't any happier for it, and I can't live knowing I'm away from the other half of my soul."

Aelin cracks, and he can feel the tears wetting the front of his shoulder. "You were never home. I thought there was someone else, someone who could give you the things you wanted because I can't."

Her whole form is shuddering his arms, and Rowan squeezes tighter as if he can hold her broken pieces together. "It's always been you. I don't care if we adopt or never have any kids at all. All I need is you, baby. You are all I've ever needed."

Suddenly, hands are in Rowan's hair as Aelin crushes their lips together. The kiss is frantic, a relief of the stress they'd carried upon their shoulders.

"I missed you too," Aelin whispers in between kisses. “Gods I mussed you so much.”

The rest of their night is filled with soothing words, frantic kissing, and murmured apologies. Rowan kisses the tears from her cheeks and Aelin looks into his eyes like she’s home. Nail dig into skin as they promise never to be apart again.

For the first time in months they sleep in the same bed. Rowan sinks into a deep restful sleep with his wife in his arms once more. He loves the way her cold toes search out his heat. How Aelin fits so perfectly against his chest. When he wakes up and she’s still there, his heart nearly features from relief.

After months of pain, it's the beginning of their walk towards healing.

The days after aren't perfect. They had legal issues to sort back out, more problems to lay bare to the sunlight. There was arguing, but it lacked actual heat, and they didn't walk away feeling unloved at the end. No longer did they fight to land barbs. Their bickering now served to work towards solutions and to express needs.

Between struggles, the love began to grow back. Rowan kept his job at work, and when he was home, it was about them. He started calling her on his breaks again, and it always astonished him how much he missed the sound of her voice. They both strived to communicate their feelings better and actually listen instead of reacting.

Aelin surprised him with romantic dates, and Rowan read pages of her favorite books to her at night. They danced in the kitchen and laughed at their favorite shows.

Fixing their marriage was hard work, but Rowan and Aelin didn't mind. The separation proved that neither of them wanted a life without the other. It was to whatever end, and they wouldn't accept anything less for them.

On one Sunday morning, Rowan opens his eyes and realizes that Aelin isn't on her side of the bed. Panic surges in him, and he looks around to make sure her things are still there.

They are, and the tension eases from his shoulders until he hears soft crying from the bathroom. Darting out of bed, he grabs Aelin's bathrobe and knocks on their bathroom door. "Aelin, what's wrong?"

Had he screwed something up? Was she sick?

The lock clicks, granting him silent permission for him to come inside. Rowan pushes the door open and finds Aelin crying on the side of the tup. With gentle hands, he wraps her robe around her and throws an arm over her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Aelin looks up at him, a radiant smile on her face. "Look."

Rowan glances down to her clenched fists and-

He blinks, once, twice. Aelin laughs at his dumbfounded face, and it breaks his paralysis. Rowan grabs her around the waist and spins her around the cramped bathroom, the positive pregnancy test clattering to the floor.

Aelin's arms wrap around his neck. The emotion in the room is raw and bittersweet, but there's a hopefulness that can't be denied. Rowan holds her tight as they process the news. When they break apart, the love between them is palpable. They had another shot at this, a fresh start.

Hards times would come and go, but good days were never far behind for them. Because for Aelin and Rowan, it's always been them.

And that's all they needed.

#throne of glass #rowaelin #fanfic #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowaelinmonth #angst #tog #sjmaas #throne of glass fanfiction #song fic #rowan x aelin #fenrys #day 29

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thunderheadfred · 3 years

Text

❄️Todoroki HC's🔥

Aged-up pro hero Shouto. NSFW under the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - -

General

Might as well be tied with Bakugou for the #1 pro hero spot; they seem to pass the crown back and forth every other year. Everyone knows about their intense frenemies uber-rivalry. Well. Everyone but Shouto.

He's asked to speak at a lot of charity events. If he has time to prepare (and hire a speech writer) he is capable of stirring crowds to standing ovations. But if caught unawares... he gets cornered into hilarious on-the-spot interviews. He's been memed. Mercilessly.

He's an OP character, but unfortunately he rolled -500 in fashion sense. Eventually he wises up and hires a stylist. When he finally cuts his hair a slightly different and even more flattering way, it's a national event. People faint in the street.

Does god-awful sleight-of-hand magic tricks when he meets young fans, even though nobody asked him to. The second-hand embarrassment is palpable. But he keeps doing it. God, why does he keep doing it?

Has hovering arm syndrome in every fan photo.

Super into pop music. Not a fan of any particular group or artist, couldn't tell you the name of a single song. But every time he turns up the volume on the radio it's like... really? THIS? Probably pumps that shit through his hero agency to keep up morale. Has no idea what you mean when you tell him his music taste doesn't match his personality.

Similarly, he enjoys brainless romantic comedies and old silent movies. Doesn't laugh at jokes but loses it over physical comedy. Thinks Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd are the funniest people who ever walked the earth.

He's long and limber. Runs practically a hundred miles every day just to "relax." Doesn't even get sweaty doing it. A filthy yoga addict. He'll probably live to be 200 years old.

He can regulate his body temperature for quirk use but in everyday life he's always half a degree outside the Goldilocks zone. It drives him quietly insane; he has an epic love-hate relationship with his thermostat.

Has a therapy animal pet. Doesn't matter if it's a dog or a cat or a bird or an iguana or a teeny tiny rodent. It's the best-behaved animal in the country and speaks more languages than you. It has its own room and an instagram account with millions of followers.

Lives in a traditional Japanese estate that doubles as a national treasure. Probably has government-appointed snipers at the gate, and he's just like, "don't worry about it." You are afraid to touch anything. Fuck, don't even look at anything, just to be safe.

Has an outstanding personal chef who only gets to cook five things unless (thank fuck!!) company comes over. Impossibly picky eater. He rotates between a few "safe" foods and suspiciously side-eyes everything else. If you cook something unfamiliar for him it will be the most awkward meal of your life, because he'd never tell you he doesn't like it. But oh lord, just look at his face.

This clashes directly with his love of traveling. Frequently uses his hero earnings to visit exotic foreign locales over long weekends... but rarely tries the food.

- - -

Dating

A grey-ace demisexual disaster. You could count the number of people he's been attracted to on one hand. He falls madly in love every time and always gets his heart smashed to pieces when his crush can't magically intuit the meaning of his frigid longing glances and generically courteous romantic gestures.

Which is stupid, because he gets propositioned constantly. He can't walk out the door without being flirted with. People keep slipping him their phone numbers and he always directs them to his agency like a moron. It's a good thing he will never understand how attractive he is because that's the only thing keeping him from total world domination.

Conventional attractiveness does not compute. Shouto doesn't have a type, doesn't care that he's an eleven whilst you are merely mortal. He will fall for your personality above all else.

Probably falls head over heels because your schedules overlap in a completely ordinary way and he witnesses you doing something endearing or brave or most likely: utterly mundane.

Pick a favorite, because you're his favorite coworker, or his favorite barista, or his favorite random bystander in line at the grocery store. You made him smile once; then he spent the next three months daydreaming about your future together before you accidentally stomped on his foot, initiating your first real conversation.

He's big on healthy communication. HUGE. He goes to therapy and it shows. Will talk through literally everything to the point of delirium. Sometimes his dedication to resolving every issue right away can get overwhelming; sometimes you just need some frickin time alone. But it pays off, because the two of you have practically never have a "real fight." There's just no way for bad vibes to fester.

STILL, his family wasn't exactly... erm... verbally or emotionally supportive, shall we say. For that reason, he might not give you all the compliments you deserve, because it simply doesn't occur to him to do so. He assumes you know how he feels. If you're self-conscious or insecure in the relationship, it might take him a while to notice. But when he figures it out (or even better, when you tell him directly) he will make it up to you with enthusiasm.

Will take you on lavish dates. Spoils you rotten without actually intending to. He's clueless about money. If you wanted a sugar daddy, you just hit the fucking jackpot. But if the word valet makes you uncomfortable, perhaps suggest some romantic picnics instead. He can still go all out with the food and five-star location without making you see cartoon dollar signs.

Chronic Insomniac. Stays up too late watching YouTube every night. His viewing history is an incomprehensible blur of k-pop music videos, serial killer icebergs, and super girly crafty ASMR channels. When he's watching a video, he is unreachable. Please call back later and try again.

He's disgustingly cute when he sleeps. Doesn't snore, but drools. Sometimes the drool freezes and leaves frost trails on his face in the morning. Still sleeps with the giant stuffed cat pillow that his mother gave him when he was like, zero. He'll inadvertently suffocate you with it, and you will welcome death with open arms because awwwwww!!!!!

The first time he tells you he loves you will be after your traditional Japanese shinto wedding. You won't hear it again until you start a family. Honestly, it's a good thing he doesn't say it often and is always holding you when it happens. It's a knee-buckler.

- - -

Icy-Hot

I don't even need to say it. Shouto is as old-fashioned as they come. You will never open another door or pull out another chair for yourself as long as you live. He will ask before he holds your hand. He will ask before he kisses you. He will stop and check in if you so much as breathe funny during sex.

If you don't orgasm at exactly the same time while staring into one another's eyes, he'll consider himself a failed lover. God forbid you want him to pound you into the futon... cause you are going to have to present that scenario to him in writing first.

Physical intimacy rarely leads to sex. He loves cuddling, craves physical affection. He'll sprawl all over you and turn into goo while you hold him close. He's an amazing, astounding, phenomenally good kisser. And that's... nice and all... but sometimes you have to grab his face and say, "Shouto, I'm horny," before he's like so that's why you're currently dry-humping me?

Even if he isn't technically a virgin the first time (or the millionth time) you sleep together, you won't know the difference. He's a blushing violet. Every. Fucking. Time. This doesn't mean he's a bad lay, oh no. But there's always ten minutes of confused bumbling before he hits his stride and remembers oh yeah, I DO know how to fuck good.

Absolutely silent during sex. Focused. Intense. Sometimes you have to push him a little to make any kind of noise at all, just so you know you're pleasing him (oh don't worry, you are).

His cock is Just Right. Not to big or too small. Perfectly proportioned and symmetrical. Somehow pretty. Like a fucking factory prototype. It truly is not fair.

Gets handsy and restless at night, even if you both have work the next day. Seems to crave sex at three in the morning. You've given him more than one exhausted handjob.

Gets offended if you don't cum. Will go down on you for hours. Of course he uses his quirk to tease you. He doesn't typically use it during actual intercourse, but he's all about foreplay, and he'll use every tool in his arsenal.

His sex drive is completely fucking unpredictable. Sometimes he's all over you, other times he's an icy slab. His line of work leaves him busy and stressed on a near-constant basis, so you can't entirely blame his personality for this one. Just give him some time and help him take care of his basic needs. He'll come back around soon enough.

#todoroki shouto #todoroki x you #todoroki x reader #todoroki x y/n #gender neutral reader #todoroki headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #smut #fred writes #bnha #mha

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nashibirne · 3 years

Text

Gimme Shelter - 6

Sorry, it took me a while to write the next chapter but I was kinda busy. I hope you still want to know how things are going and growing between Henry and Kat. If you like this, please reward me with a comment, reblog or like 💜

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)

Words: ~3.0k

Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 6: A disruptive factor and The Lonely Hearts Club meets again.

You can find the previous chapters and my other fics on my masterlist!

Warnings: RPF, mention of mental health issues, lots of poetry

Unbeta'ed. English isn't my first language. Mistakes ahead and they're all mine.

Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill or anyone who's related to him in any way, this is pure fiction and nothing more

Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Face claims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81

So, enough of the small print...here we go:

**********

As much as Kat enjoyed her time with Henry and the feelings that blossomed between them there was this one disruptive factor called Mel.

When they were sitting on that rock the other day, almost kissing, when they were pouring their hearts out afterwards, it all felt so real, so possible, so tangible but whenever she saw Hen talk to Mel her heart sank and doubt started to nag at her hope. And he not only talked to Mel, he went to her place several times and so Kat went to London for contract negotiations with a publishing house with mixed feelings.

She wanted to trust Henry who always laughed it off, when Kat asked him about Mel, saying they were just having a neighbourly chat, but she also wasn't willing to be heading for the rocks blindly. She wasn't able to ignore the existence of Mel and the connection between her and the man Kat had fallen for again.

She missed Henry terribly when she was away though. Five days without him made her realize how close they had grown and how much she enjoyed being around him. Five lonely nights in a hotel bed increased her doubts and her worries, her jealousy and her insecurities. She couldn't stop her mind from creating worst case scenarios of Hen being with Mel. Of Mel seducing him, of Henry having sex with her, falling for the attractive, charming blonde who knew how to enchant a man. She imagined how he got trapped by this woman who'd never tried to hide that she was looking for a new husband, a new provider, after the last one had the audacity to die and leave her with a big, beautiful mansion but not with the amount of money Mel had hoped for. And in all these scenarios Kat was the one who was left behind with a broken heart. Again.

When she returned to St. Ives on Saturday afternoon she found Lydia working in the garden and Sam in the kitchen, baking bread. Her brother hugged her, leaving handprints of flour on her black shirt.

"How was London?"

Kat plopped down on a chair with a sigh. "Successful but exhausting. I can't believe that I actually liked living there. The traffic is horrible and all those people and the noise…"

"Good thing you're back in our beautiful, little sanctuary then. We've missed you. Even Darcy came looking for you every day." Sam shoved the loaf of bread he'd just moulded into the oven before he washed his hands and sat down at the table across from his younger sister.

"Really?" An amused smile played on Kat's lips. "And I thought Henry and Kal are all he cares about recently. How's Hen by the way? On the phone he said he's fine?"

"He is, I guess. No more panic attacks as far as I know. He's been in a pretty good mood all week, busy and full of energy."

Sam poured himself a glass of water and offered one to Kat too but she declined with a shake of her head.

"Where is he anyway?"

"At Mel's."

Kat's expression changed from curious to annoyed in an instant. "Again? What's he doing there?"

"Having a coffee and a chat, I guess," Sam shrugged. "I don't know the details."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Of course not."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Then why do you say it?"

Kat looked at Sam with a frown. "Nevermind."

"No, come on. Spill it. Are you implying I know something I won't tell you?" Sam got a little cross now.

"I'm not implying anything. I just don't understand why he spends so much time at her place and I can hardly believe your old rugby mate hasn't told you." She crossed her arms and gave her brother an expectant look.

"He told me what I've just told you. What do you think they're doing? Having a secret affair?" He let out a snort, laughing just at the thought of Hen and Mel but when he saw the frown on Kat's face it dawned on him. "Wait? That's what you're thinking? That something's going on between them? You're jealous?"

"Does that sound so far-fetched? She tries to dig her nails into every man who seems to be good husband material. She tried it with you and you don't need a crystal ball to know that she's for sure trying it with Hen too. And for the record...I'm worried about him, not jealous." Kat was all worked up now and Sam could easily tell that he'd hit a sore point.

"Henry is not an idiot, Kat. From my own experience I can tell you that Mel is anything but an enigma. I could tell what she's looking for after our first and only date and a man like Hen, who has to deal with gold diggers all the time, will see right through her without problems. There's no need to worry. And no need to be jealous." He grinned at her and Kat made a face. "Did you even listen to me? I've just told you that…"

"That you're not jealous. Yeah...yackety-yack. I know you, sis. You're in love with him. Don't try to deny it." Kat sighed and surrendered with a resigned smile. "Fuck, yeah and I feel like I'm sixteen again, Sammy. Confused and clueless. What is it about him that makes me feel like that? Why does it have to be so damn complicated?"

"It's not complicated. Trust him and listen to your heart."

"It's not that easy."

"No, obviously it's not. So maybe you should just ask him about Mel and work on your trust issues."

"It's not like I haven't asked him about her before. But I guess you're right. I'm gonna try again and talk to him tonight." She gave her brother a nod.

"At the meeting of The Lonely Hearts Club?" Sam winked at her with a grin that made Kat chuckle.

"He's told you about it?"

"Yeah. He's talked about it all week. Running around with piles of books, volumes of poems as far as I could see. Copying entire pages by hand into a notebook. To be honest, I think it's the reason for his good mood."

****

Maybe, Kat thought, or maybe he just enjoys fooling around with Mel.

When Kat climbed up the rope ladder a few hours later she had managed successfully to avoid Henry up to this point. She had spent the rest of the day in her room, brooding over Sam's words, about Henry and Mel for the umpteenth time and about the club meeting of course. She was close to chickening out but she decided to get her shit together and to enjoy the time with Henry on their little stroll down memory lane. And maybe, just maybe, she would even find the courage to ask him about Mel.

"Kat!" Henry flashed her one of those billion dollar smiles when she entered the tree house. "There you are." He hugged her and gave her a look full of relief. "I haven't seen you all afternoon. I was a little worried you'd stand me up."

"Neighbourly duties?" Kat asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

She gave him a smile and shrugged. "Well, you were not around when I came back…"

"Yeah...I was busy." He grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

"Huh?"

"Sam said you went to visit Mel."

"Ah, yes. Yes, I did. You know we have a little chat every once in a while. She's...nice."

"How lovely."

"The room looks great, Hen."

The awkward silence that fell over the room made them both uncomfortable. The unexpected tension left Henry in a state of insecurity. He'd hoped for an easy time with Kat, some intimate moments to share but the start of the night wasn't very promising. He cleared his throat before giving Kat a goofy smile.

"Shall we begin? I've prepared a little something. A few poems and...yeah." He shrugged helplessly and to his big relief Kat nodded with a smile. "Of course."

It was only then that Kat realized that Henry had decorated the treehouse with loving care. Blankets and cushions on the floor and candles in the corner of the room created a very warm and cozy atmosphere and a huge pile of books showed her that Henry was very well prepared for the first meeting of the Lonely Hearts Club since 1999.

"Thanks, kitty. Let's sit." He plopped down beside the books, his long legs stretched out and Kat sat down cross-legged next to him, placing a little bluetooth speaker on the floor. "Prepare for some 90s flashback. I picked all the cheesy love songs we listened to non-stop." She started the playlist and soft music filled the air. Henry smiled at her and took a deep breath before he started to speak solemnly in his best statesman's voice.

The way he looked at her took her breath away for a moment, his gaze intense and pleading, he seemed so vulnerable it made her heart miss a beat. She wanted to kiss the insecurity and sadness that crossed his handsome face away but her own doubts made her fight the need to be close to him. Instead she took the notebook he handed her over and opened it. She stared at the name of the poem that was written down in Henry's neat handwriting on the first page.

"I hereby declare the meeting of The Lonely Hearts Club open. Present are the founding members Katherine Elisabeth Spencer and Henry William Cavill."

Kat couldn't help but chuckle. He was such a dork.

"Would you do me the honor of reciting the first poem, dear kitty?"

She knew it all too well and yet she'd almost forgotten it existed. Forgotten or repressed, it didn't really matter, she still knew it by heart, since it was the very poem she had read countless times after Henry had broken her heart. The fact that he knew it too, that he'd chosen these verse to be read out loud made her wonder if it was as familiar to him as it was to her. She cleared her throat, closed the book and her eyes and started to recite.

"When we two parted by George Gordon Byron."

She paused and took another deep breath.

"When we two parted

In silence and tears,

Half broken-hearted

To sever for years,

Pale grew thy cheek and cold

Colder thy kiss;

Truly that hour foretold

Sorrow to this."

Kat flinched slightly when she felt Henry's warm hand in hers. She looked at him and she wasn't surprised when he continued, his voice warm and soothing like thick, golden honey.

"The dew of the morning

Sunk chill on my brow—

It felt like the warning

Of what I feel now.

Thy vows are all broken,

And light is thy fame:

I hear thy name spoken,

And share in its shame."

The game was the same it used to be back in the days at Stowe. They took turns to read the stanza. The only difference was that they were holding hands now. Kat spoke the next words with a steady voice although on the inside she was trembling.

"They name thee before me,

A knell to mine ear;

A shudder comes o'er me—

Why wert thou so dear?

They know not I knew thee,

Who knew thee too well:

Long, long shall I rue thee,

Too deeply to tell."

She smiled at Henry, sensing that he needed her reinsurance for the last paragraph. He returned the smile and went on.

"In secret we met—

In silence I grieve,

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive.

If I should meet thee

After long years,

How should I greet thee?

With silence and tears."

They sat in silence for several minutes, comfortable silence this time, the quiet connecting them in a way words never could.

"I've got another one you might like." Henry said softly after a while. He reluctantly let go of her hand, took the notebook and searched through the pages. "Here it is."

"Bring it on." Kat smiled at him, hardly able to hide the loving feelings that spread inside her chest and her belly. Henry nodded and began.

"My heart leaps up when I behold

A rainbow in the sky:

So was it when my life began;

So is it now I am a man;

So be it when I shall grow old,

Or let me die!

The Child is father of the Man;

And I could wish my days to be

Bound each to each by natural piety."

"That's beautiful, pop." Kat blushed under Henry's smirk when he heard the nickname slip from her lips. "William Wordsworth?" she guessed.

"Yes. I'd never heard of it before, but Mel showed it to me the other day."

Kat's smile faded like a shadow in the dark.

"Oh really, did she? So that's what you're doing when you meet? You read poems to each other?" Her voice had chilled in an instant, her body language switched from open hearted to closed off. Henry was confused by the sudden change of tone.

"Yes, she told me about it when I mentioned that I was looking for romantic poems by british poets. And no, that's not what we usually do."

"And what do you do? Usually?"

"Nothing special, as I've told you before. And honestly, Kat..it's none of your business anyway."

That felt like a slap in the face to her.

"Right...yeah...you're absolutely right. It's none of my business what you do or who you're fooling around with." Kat got up, tapping off non-existing dirt from her jeans with determined motions that showed how touched and churned up she was.

"Fooling around?" Henry got up too in a hurry, knocking his head on a branch that was part of the treehouse's roof. He cursed before he turned to Kat again. "You can't be serious. You don't really think I f...that I sleep with Mel, do you?"

"I don't know what to think, Henry. You spend so much time with her lately…"

"And I've told you it's harmless and I just visit our neighbour from time to time." He tried to take her hand but Kat took a step back, turning around to stare out of the window with a deep sigh.

"You still don't trust me." His voice was sad now and there was a note of disappointment too.

"I really want to, Henry. But it's so hard…" Her shoulders were trembling and her soft sobs told him she was crying. He hugged her gently from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I know, kitty. And I know that I'm the one to blame for this dilemma. But you have to believe me. There's nothing between me and Mel. I don't fuck her and I'm not interested in her. I only care about you. Okay?" The last words were nothing more than a whisper in her ear, a light breeze of tones that made her want to believe him. She nodded, leaning into his embrace but she wasn't able to give him a proper answer. The truth was she had no answer. She knew she loved him but what she didn't know was if she was going to allow herself to act accordingly.

"Listen, Kat. This might not be the right time nor place to do this, but I need to ask you something. I'm going to Jersey next week for my mum's 70s birthday and I wonder if you'd want to come with me?"

Kat turned around in his arms abruptly, taken by surprise by his question. He didn't let go of her waist and so she found herself closer than ever to him, his gorgeous face right in front of her. "You want me to go to Jersey with you?" He nodded. "As my plus one. Yes." She freed herself carefully from his embrace. "But…"

"Let me explain." Henry took a step back to give her some space. "My mum invited me months ago and I accepted...of course...but to be honest, I've dreaded that family gathering since day one. All eyes will be on me, everyone's gonna try to wrap me up in cotton wool, walking on eggshells around me, wondering if I'm okay." He sighed and shrugged. "Don't get me wrong. I'm beyond grateful to have a family that is worried about me, loving people who care, but it also stresses me out. Having you by my side would be very helpful and besides that, I would hate to be separated from you again. Those five days last week were long enough, Kat and don't even make me start with the 22 years prior. You have no idea how much I missed you." He gave her a sheepish smile and she couldn't help but return it. "I missed you too, Hen. But I'm really not sure if this is a good idea. Your parents hardly know me."

"Don't be silly. They remember you very well. You spent Christmas 1998 with us. Please don't say you forgot about that...my parents invited you after I spent the summer with your family here in St. Ives."

"Of course I remember that. It was the most lively and jolly Christmas of my childhood. All those people at your parents house, the chatter and singing and goofing about, it was such a stark contrast to Christmas with my family."

"See...you can have that again. A crowded, noisy place, loads of laughter, alcohol, fun and food. When I asked my mum if it's okay to invite you she was so excited, Kat. She'd love to see you again and so would my dad and my brothers. And I'm sure you're gonna like my sisters-in-law and all my nephews and nieces." Kat smiled.

"That sounds good."

"So you're in?"

"I don't know. Where would we stay? At your parent's?"

"No. I always stay at a small cottage near the beach when I visit them. I bought it a few years ago."

Kat started to chew on her lower lip.

"Two bedrooms." Henry added with a wink before making the next try to take her hands. This time she didn't pull back. "Please say yes, Kat. Let's spend some time together. We can stay there for a week or so. When the whole Cavill bunch leaves after the celebration, it will only be you and me and lots of time to...to bond again. So what do you say?"

*******

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill slow burn #slow burn

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chrisevansluv · 3 years

Note

Here is the 2012 Detail Magazine interview with chris evans:

The Avengers' Chris Evans: Just Your Average Beer-Swilling, Babe-Loving Buddhist

The 30-year-old Bud Light-chugging, Beantown-bred star of The Avengers is widely perceived as the ultimate guy's guy. But beneath the bro persona lies a serious student of Buddhism, an unrepentant song-and-dance man, and a guy who talks to his mom about sex. And farts.

By Adam Sachs,

Photographs by Norman Jean Roy

May 2012 Issue

"Should we just kill him and bury his body?" Chris Evans is stage whispering into the impassive blinking light of my digital recorder.

"Chris!" shouts his mother, her tone a familiar-to-anyone-with-a-mother mix of coddling and concern. "Don't say that! What if something happened?"

We're at Evans' apartment, an expansive but not overly tricked-out bachelor-pad-ish loft in a semi-industrial nowheresville part of Boston, hard by Chinatown, near an area sometimes called the Combat Zone. Evans has a fuzzy, floppy, slept-in-his-clothes aspect that'd be nearly unrecognizable if you knew him only by the upright, spit-polished bearing of the onscreen hero. His dog, East, a sweet and slobbery American bulldog, is spread out on a couch in front of the TV. The shelves of his fridge are neatly stacked with much of the world's supply of Bud Light in cans and little else.

On the counter sit a few buckets of muscle-making whey-protein powder that belong to Evans' roommate, Zach Jarvis, an old pal who sometimes tags along on set as a paid "assistant" and a personal trainer who bulked Evans up for his role as the super-ripped patriot in last summer's blockbuster Captain America: The First Avenger. A giant clock on the exposed-brick wall says it's early evening, but Evans operates on his own sense of time. Between gigs, his schedule's all his, which usually translates into long stretches of alone time during the day and longer social nights for the 30-year-old.

"I could just make this . . . disappear," says Josh Peck, another old pal and occasional on-set assistant, in a deadpan mumble, poking at the voice recorder I'd left on the table while I was in the bathroom.

Evans' mom, Lisa, now speaks directly into the microphone: "Don't listen to them—I'm trying to get them not to say these things!"

But not saying things isn't in the Evans DNA. They're an infectiously gregarious clan. Irish-Italians, proud Bostoners, close-knit, and innately theatrical. "We all act, we sing," Evans says. "It was like the fucking von Trapps." Mom was a dancer and now runs a children's theater. First-born Carly directed the family puppet shows and studied theater at NYU. Younger brother Scott has parts on One Life to Live and Law & Order under his belt and lives in Los Angeles full-time—something Evans stopped doing several years back. Rounding out the circle are baby sister Shanna and a pair of "strays" the family brought into their Sudbury, Massachusetts, home: Josh, who went from mowing the lawn to moving in when his folks relocated during his senior year in high school; and Demery, who was Evans' roommate until recently.

"Our house was like a hotel," Evans says. "It was a loony-tunes household. If you got arrested in high school, everyone knew: 'Call Mrs. Evans, she'll bail you out.'"

Growing up, they had a special floor put in the basement where all the kids practiced tap-dancing. The party-ready rec room also had a Ping-Pong table and a separate entrance. This was the house kids in the neighborhood wanted to hang at, and this was the kind of family you wanted to be adopted by. Spend an afternoon listening to them dish old dirt and talk over each other and it's easy to see why. Now they're worried they've said too much, laid bare the tender soul of the actor behind the star-spangled superhero outfit, so there's talk of offing the interviewer. I can hear all this from the bathroom, which, of course, is the point of a good stage whisper.

To be sure, no one's said too much, and the more you're brought into the embrace of this boisterous, funny, shit-slinging, demonstrably loving extended family, the more likable and enviable the whole dynamic is.

Sample exchange from today's lunch of baked ziti at a family-style Italian restaurant:

Mom: When he was a kid, he asked me, 'Mom, will I ever think farting isn't funny?'

Chris: You're throwing me under the bus, Ma! Thank you.

Mom: Well, if a dog farts you still find it funny.

Then, back at the apartment, where Mrs. Evans tries to give me good-natured dirt on her son without freaking him out:

Mom: You always tell me when you think a girl is attractive. You'll call me up so excited. Is that okay to say?

Chris: Nothing wrong with that.

Mom: And can I say all the girls you've brought to the house have been very sweet and wonderful? Of course, those are the ones that make it to the house. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Chris: Looooong time.

Mom: The last one at our house? Was it six years ago?

Chris: No names, Ma!

Mom: But she knocked it out of the park.

Chris: She got drunk and puked at Auntie Pam's house! And she puked on the way home and she puked at our place.

Mom: And that's when I fell in love with her. Because she was real.

We're operating under a no-names rule, so I'm not asking if it's Jessica Biel who made this memorable first impression. She and Evans were serious for a couple of years. But I don't want to picture lovely Jessica Biel getting sick at Auntie Pam's or in the car or, really, anywhere.

East the bulldog ambles over to the table, begging for food.

"That dog is the love of his life," Mrs. Evans says. "Which tells me he'll be an unbelievable parent, but I don't want him to get married right now." She turns to Chris. "The way you are, I just don't think you're ready."

Some other things I learn about Evans from his mom: He hates going to the gym; he was so wound-up as a kid she'd let him stand during dinner, his legs shaking like caged greyhounds; he suffered weekly "Sunday-night meltdowns" over schoolwork and the angst of the sensitive middle-schooler; after she and his father split and he was making money from acting, he bought her the Sudbury family homestead rather than let her leave it.

Eventually his mom and Josh depart, and Evans and I go to work depleting his stash of Bud Light. It feels like we drink Bud Light and talk for days, because we basically do. I arrived early Friday evening; it's Saturday night now and it'll be sunup Sunday before I sleeplessly make my way to catch a train back to New York City. Somewhere in between we slip free of the gravitational pull of the bachelor pad and there's bottle service at a club and a long walk with entourage in tow back to Evans' apartment, where there is some earnest-yet-surreal group singing, piano playing, and chitchat. Evans is fun to talk to, partly because he's an open, self-mocking guy with an explosive laugh and no apparent need to sleep, and partly because when you cut just below the surface, it's clear he's not quite the dude's dude he sometimes plays onscreen and in TV appearances.

From a distance, Chris Evans the movie star seems a predictable, nearly inevitable piece of successful Hollywood packaging come to market. There's his major-release debut as the dorkily unaware jock Jake in the guilty pleasure Not Another Teen Movie (in one memorable scene, Evans has whipped cream on his chest and a banana up his ass). The female-friendly hunk appeal—his character in The Nanny Diaries is named simply Harvard Hottie—is balanced by a kind of casual-Friday, I'm-from-Boston regular-dudeness. Following the siren song of comic-book cash, he was the Human Torch in two Fantastic Four films. As with scrawny Steve Rogers, the Captain America suit beefed up his stature as a formidable screen presence, a bankable leading man, all of which leads us to The Avengers, this season's megabudget, megawatt ensemble in which he stars alongside Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., and Chris Hemsworth.

It all feels inevitable—and yet it nearly didn't happen. Evans repeatedly turned down the Captain America role, fearing he'd be locked into what was originally a nine-picture deal. He was shooting Puncture, about a drug-addicted lawyer, at the time. Most actors doing small-budget legal dramas would jump at the chance to play the lead in a Marvel franchise, but Evans saw a decade of his life flash before his eyes.

What he remembers thinking is this: "What if the movie comes out and it's a success and I just reject all of this? What if I want to move to the fucking woods?"

By "the woods," he doesn't mean a quiet life away from the spotlight, some general metaphorical life escape route. He means the actual woods. "For a long time all I wanted for Christmas were books about outdoor survival," he says. "I was convinced that I was going to move to the woods. I camped a lot, I took classes. At 18, I told myself if I don't live in the woods by the time I'm 25, I have failed."

Evans has described his hesitation at signing on for Captain America. Usually he talks about the time commitment, the loss of what remained of his relative anonymity. On the junkets for the movie, he was open about needing therapy after the studio reduced the deal to six movies and he took the leap. What he doesn't usually mention is that he was racked with anxiety before the job came up.

"I get very nervous," Evans explains. "I shit the bed if I have to present something on stage or if I'm doing press. Because it's just you." He's been known to walk out of press conferences, to freeze up and go silent during the kind of relaxed-yet-high-stakes meetings an actor of his stature is expected to attend: "Do you know how badly I audition? Fifty percent of the time I have to walk out of the room. I'm naturally very pale, so I turn red and sweat. And I have to literally walk out. Sometimes mid-audition. You start having these conversations in your brain. 'Chris, don't do this. Chris, take it easy. You're just sitting in a room with a person saying some words, this isn't life. And you're letting this affect you? Shame on you.'"

Shades of "Sunday-night meltdowns." Luckily the nerves never follow him to the set. "You do your neuroses beforehand, so when they yell 'Action' you can be present," he says.

Okay, there was one on-set panic attack—while Evans was shooting Puncture. "We were getting ready to do a court scene in front of a bunch of people, and I don't know what happened," he says. "It's just your brain playing games with you. 'Hey, you know how we sometimes freak out? What if we did it right now?'"

One of the people who advised Evans to take the Captain America role was his eventual Avengers costar Robert Downey Jr. "I'd seen him around," Downey says. "We share an agent. I like to spend a lot of my free time talking to my agent about his other clients—I just had a feeling about him."

What he told Evans was: This puppy is going to be big, and when it is you're going to get to make the movies you want to make. "In the marathon obstacle course of a career," Downey says, "it's just good to have all the stats on paper for why you're not only a team player but also why it makes sense to support you in the projects you want to do—because you've made so much damned money for the studio."

There's also the fact that Evans had a chance to sign on for something likely to be a kind of watershed moment in the comic-book fascination of our time. "I do think The Avengers is the crescendo of this superhero phase in entertainment—except of course for Iron Man 3," Downey says. "It'll take a lot of innovation to keep it alive after this."

Captain America is the only person left who was truly close to Howard Stark, father of Tony Stark (a.k.a. Iron Man), which meant that Evans' and Downey's story lines are closely linked, and in the course of doing a lot of scenes together, they got to be pals. Downey diagnoses his friend with what he terms "low-grade red-carpet anxiety disorder."

"He just hates the game-show aspect of doing PR," Downey says. "Obviously there's pressure for anyone in this transition he's in. But he will easily triple that pressure to make sure he's not being lazy. That's why I respect the guy. I wouldn't necessarily want to be in his skin. But his motives are pure. He just needs to drink some red-carpet chamomile."

"The majority of the world is empty space," Chris Evans says, watching me as if my brain might explode on hearing this news—or like he might have to fight me if I try to contradict him. We're back at his apartment after a cigarette run through the Combat Zone.

"Empty space!" he says again, slapping the table and sort of yelling. Then, in a slow, breathy whisper, he repeats: "Empty space, empty space. All that we see in the world, the life, the animals, plants, people, it's all empty space. That's amazing!" He slaps the table again. "You want another beer? Gotta be Bud Light. Get dirty—you're in Boston. Okay, organize your thoughts. I gotta take a piss . . ."

My thoughts are this: That this guy who is hugging his dog and talking to me about space and mortality and the trouble with Boston girls who believe crazy gossip about him—this is not the guy I expected to meet. I figured he'd be a meatball. Though, truthfully, I'd never called anyone a meatball until Evans turned me on to the put-down. As in: "My sister Shanna dates meatballs." And, more to the point: "When I do interviews, I'd rather just be the beer-drinking dude from Boston and not get into the complex shit, because I don't want every meatball saying, 'So hey, whaddyathink about Buddhism?'"

At 17, Evans came across a copy of Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha and began his spiritual questing. It's a path of study and struggle that, he says, defines his true purpose in life. "I love acting. It's my playground, it lets me explore. But my happiness in this world, my level of peace, is never going to be dictated by acting," he says. "My goal in life is to detach from the egoic mind. Do you know anything about Eastern philosophy?"

I sip some Bud Light and shake my head sheepishly. "They talk about the egoic mind, the part of you that's self-aware, the watcher, the person you think is driving this machine," he says. "And that separation from self and mind is the root of suffering. There are ways of retraining the way you think. This isn't really supported in Western society, which is focused on 'Go get it, earn it, win it, marry it.'"

Scarlett Johansson says that one of the things she appreciates about Evans is how he steers clear of industry chat when they see each other. "Basically every actor," she says, "including myself, when we finish a job we're like, 'Well, that's it for me. Had a good run. Put me out to pasture.' But Chris doesn't strike me as someone who frets about the next job." The two met on the set of The Perfect Score when they were teenagers and have stayed close; The Avengers is their third movie together. "He has this obviously masculine presence—a dude's dude—and we're used to seeing him play heroic characters," Johansson says, "but he's also surprisingly sensitive. He has close female friends, and you can talk to him about anything. Plus there's that secret song-and-dance, jazz-hands side of Chris. I feel like he grew up with the Partridge Family. He'd be just as happy doing Guys and Dolls as he would Captain America 2."

East needs to do his business, so Evans and I take him up to the roof deck. Evans bought this apartment in 2010 when living in L.A. full-time no longer appealed to him. He came back to stay close to his extended family and the intimate circle of Boston pals he's maintained since high school. The move also seems like a pretty clear keep-it-real hedge against the manic ego-stroking distractions of Hollywood.

"I think my daytime person is different than my nighttime person," Evans says. "With my high-school buddies, we drink beer and talk sports and it's great. The kids in my Buddhism class in L.A., they're wildly intelligent, and I love being around them, but they're not talking about the Celtics. And that's part of me. It's a strange dichotomy. I don't mind being a certain way with some people and having this other piece of me that's just for me."

I asked Downey about Evans' outward regular-Joe persona. "It's complete horseshit," Downey says. "There's an inherent street-smart intelligence there. I don't think he tries to hide it. But he's much more evolved and much more culturally aware than he lets on."

Perhaps the meatball and the meditation can coexist. We argue about our egoic brains and the tao of Boston girls. "I love wet hair and sweatpants," he says in their defense. "I like sneakers and ponytails. I like girls who aren't so la-di-da. L.A. is so la-di-da. I like Boston girls who shit on me. Not literally. Girls who give me a hard time, bust my chops a little."

The chief buster of Evans' chops is, of course, Evans himself. "The problem is, the brain I'm using to dissect this world is a brain formed by it," he says. "We're born into confusion, and we get the blessing of letting go of it." Then he adds: "I think this shit by day. And then night comes and it's like, 'Fuck it, let's drink.'"

And so we do. It's getting late. Again. We should have eaten dinner, but Evans sometimes forgets to eat: "If I could just take a pill to make me full forever, I wouldn't think twice."

We talk about his dog and camping with his dog and why he loves being alone more than almost anything except maybe not being alone. "I swear to God, if you saw me when I am by myself in the woods, I'm a lunatic," he says. "I sing, I dance. I do crazy shit."

Evans' unflagging, all-encompassing enthusiasm is impressive, itself a kind of social intelligence. "If you want to have a good conversation with him, don't talk about the fact that he's famous" was the advice I got from Mark Kassen, who codirected Puncture. "He's a blast, a guy who can hang. For quite a long time. Many hours in a row."

I've stopped looking at the clock. We've stopped talking philosophy and moved into more emotional territory. He asks questions about my 9-month-old son, and then Captain America gets teary when I talk about the wonder of his birth. "I weep at everything," he says. "I emote. I love things so much—I just never want to dilute that."

He talks about how close he feels to his family, how open they all are with each other. About everything. All the time. "The first time I had sex," he says, "I raced home and was like, 'Mom, I just had sex! Where's the clit?'"

Wait, I ask—did she ever tell you?

"Still don't know where it is, man," he says, then breaks into a smile composed of equal parts shit-eating grin and inner peace. "I just don't know. Make some movies, you don't have to know…"

Here is the 2012 Detail Magazine interview with chris evans:

The Avengers' Chris Evans: Just Your Average Beer-Swilling, Babe-Loving Buddhist

By Adam Sachs,

Photographs by Norman Jean Roy

May 2012 Issue

"Should we just kill him and bury his body?" Chris Evans is stage whispering into the impassive blinking light of my digital recorder.

"Chris!" shouts his mother, her tone a familiar-to-anyone-with-a-mother mix of coddling and concern. "Don't say that! What if something happened?"

Evans' mom, Lisa, now speaks directly into the microphone: "Don't listen to them—I'm trying to get them not to say these things!"

"Our house was like a hotel," Evans says. "It was a loony-tunes household. If you got arrested in high school, everyone knew: 'Call Mrs. Evans, she'll bail you out.'"

Sample exchange from today's lunch of baked ziti at a family-style Italian restaurant:

Mom: When he was a kid, he asked me, 'Mom, will I ever think farting isn't funny?'

Chris: You're throwing me under the bus, Ma! Thank you.

Mom: Well, if a dog farts you still find it funny.

Then, back at the apartment, where Mrs. Evans tries to give me good-natured dirt on her son without freaking him out:

Mom: You always tell me when you think a girl is attractive. You'll call me up so excited. Is that okay to say?

Chris: Nothing wrong with that.

Mom: And can I say all the girls you've brought to the house have been very sweet and wonderful? Of course, those are the ones that make it to the house. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Chris: Looooong time.

Mom: The last one at our house? Was it six years ago?

Chris: No names, Ma!

Mom: But she knocked it out of the park.

Chris: She got drunk and puked at Auntie Pam's house! And she puked on the way home and she puked at our place.

Mom: And that's when I fell in love with her. Because she was real.

East the bulldog ambles over to the table, begging for food.

What he remembers thinking is this: "What if the movie comes out and it's a success and I just reject all of this? What if I want to move to the fucking woods?"

Shades of "Sunday-night meltdowns." Luckily the nerves never follow him to the set. "You do your neuroses beforehand, so when they yell 'Action' you can be present," he says.

And so we do. It's getting late. Again. We should have eaten dinner, but Evans sometimes forgets to eat: "If I could just take a pill to make me full forever, I wouldn't think twice."

Wait, I ask—did she ever tell you?

"Still don't know where it is, man," he says, then breaks into a smile composed of equal parts shit-eating grin and inner peace. "I just don't know. Make some movies, you don't have to know…"

If someone doesn't want to check the link, the anon sent the full interview!

#chris evans #cevans #Details Magazine #2012 #interview

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vannybarber · 3 years

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Prank Backfired

Summary: This idiot plays too much.

Christopher Jamal Evans x Black Reader

Warnings: cursing, weaponry, mentions of cheating, threats of christopher jamal evans' life.

Chris, the most mischievous man you know, decided to upgrade that status and play a prank on you. A stupid one might you add.

You walk through the door after a long day of work. Even though you loved what you did and it paid amazing money, it could drain the hell out of you. You set everything down and kick off your shoes in the hall, heading towards the couch and plopping down.

Chris comes through into the living room and identically plops down beside you. You slackly move over to kiss him.

"Hey bubba", you say, but before you could reach his lips, he quickly leans back with a hardened look on his face. Confused you lean back as well.

"Chris, what's wrong?" He takes a deep breath, which does not help your racing heartbeat whatsoever, and starts talking.

"I'm just gonna be straight with it. I've been seeing this girl, well sleeping with her, for a few weeks now."

If looks could kill, you'd be sentenced life without parole for murder in the first, second and third degree. But hearing his words had you feeling all types of emotions. Angry, hurt, confused, flabbergasted, scared even, just to name a few.

"It was eating me up inside and I just had to come out and say it. I couldn't hold it from you anymore." He was fiddling with his hands and not even looking at you. It was quite strange because if he had something important to tell you, he would always look you in the eye.

"Who is she? Do I know her?" Your leg is bouncing and you're cracking your knuckles trying to hold it together.

"It was that waitress from Durty Nelly's on Blackstone. When you went to the bathroom, she slipped me her number."

"That bleach blonde, trailer-park trash, cousin-fucking tramp with those ugly cut out shorts and uneven boobs?" Oh there was no way in hell he cheated on you with that. Something was up.

But then you remembered. You never went to that bathroom because ew. You were considering it and you got up only to make 2 steps before sitting back down. And that girl was 2 booths down from y'all. There was no way she 'slipped him her number'. This motherfucker was lying.

"Yep.." he bites both lips. "That's her. Look babe, I'm sorry. I truly am. I don't know what I was doing. You know I have a habit on hopping from one thing to another." The fucking nerve of this fool. He finally looks at you and he honestly deserves all his success because he's really pulling this prank off.

"Well, I don't really have anything to say to you right now. I'm just gonna get my shit and go. You cheat on me with the literal definition of vile and expect me to forgive you like that? I mean out of all the people in this world, Christopher."

Still playing into his prank, you get up and walk towards the bedroom. He follows suite, totally thinking he's the shit pulling one on you, but things were about to get interesting. You turn into the bedroom going straight for the closet.

"Listen Y/N, I don't want to lose you okay? I just can't seem to let go of her. She's addicting, if I'm being honest." You just shake your head and chuckle. If you didn't know this was a prank, he'd probably be in intensive care right now.

"Baby boy, that is fine. You don't gotta worry about me anymore."

You move around his duffle bag and your never ending boxes of shoes until you find the one box you're looking for. You pull out the Yatch Club Vans box and set it on the island in the closet.

"You know, I don't know how you could cheat on me. I mean, besides the fact that I'm literally the best person over, look at me. Look at this fine black queenyou got standing infront of you. This shape is unique and very much rare. It don't get no better than this, honey. That's a fact."

You open the box and stare at your Glock 19. Yes, you had a gun. No, he didn't know about it. But he was about to find out now. You pull it out and insert the magazine. In the process, you hear Chris very audibly gasp and you smirk to yourself.

"Y/N Y/MN Y/LN! What the hell are you doing with a gun?" He absentmindedly backs up out of fear, for you were a very unpredictable person that it was actually scary.

"At first it was just for safety. I learned how to use it and everything. But since my mans wants to go out and have an affair, don't you think we should end it with something for you to truly remember me by?" By the time you're done talking, the gun is loaded and ready to be used. Only you had it on safety, of course.

"Babe listen calm down. For real Y/N. Look okay I was just joking. It's-it's just a prank. I didn't cheat I swear!" He has his hands up like he's surrendering, but pushing you away. Probably because you have the gun pointing to him. Gosh, this was so fun.

"Yeah sure it is. You can't even lie right. Well, one of us isn't making it out alive and I'm sure it's the one without the gun." You evilly smile and move closer to him. You lowkey feel really bad because your puppy is legitimately scared out of his little mind.

"Baby please listen to me. I was just joking! I would never cheat on you. I mean look at you. Why would I want that walking Pacific Ocean when I have you? I would never hurt you like that. You gotta believe me. I promise, just put the gun down please."

You tried to hold on for a few more minutes, but he was near tears and it tugged at your soft heart. You lower the gun and take it back apart.

"That didn't feel so good did it? I knew it was a prank. I just wanted to get you back." You close the box and put it back in it's place. You turn to him with your hands on your hips.

"Y/N, that wasn't funny. Why would you do that?" He moves closer to you, now angry. But oh well.

"That feeling that you had in your chest, that anxiety and fear. That's what I was feeling when you told me you cheated. You know I have trust issues and that wasn't funny at all. I wanted you to feel the same way. Maybe I went too far, but it's a done deal now."

You brush past him and back into the room. When you get into it, he is right behind you and grabbing your arm.

"I'm honestly sorry okay. I was just messing around and I wasn't being considerate of your feelings. I didn't think it would affect you like this. I didn't mean to put you in that position." You smile at his apology, knowing he was truly sorry.

"I will admit, I went a little overboard, knowing full well it was a prank from the start. You're a smart man. You know what you got right here." You trail your hands down your body playfully and pose. He giggles and wraps his large biceps around you.

"I won't do this again. I promise." He leans down and connects your lips, finally giving you what you wanted since you stepped foot in the door. You pull back and look up at him.

"To redeem yourself, you can order me take out and grab that foot massager I just bought and get to work, peasant," you giggle out while he rubs your sides.

"Your wish is my command." He grovels at your feet.

"As it should." And with that you sashay away like that HBIC you were 💅🏾.

This scenario came up in my head this morning and I wrote all of it tonight. How great is that? Now I shall work on my Andy Barber fic 😌

masterlist

#cevans #chris evans #avengers #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #captain america #chris evans fluff #chris evans x black reader #black reader #queen #chris evans fic #christopher jamal evans

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mintelepathy · 3 years

Text

"Now is when you kiss me"

neighbor!hoseok x reader/oc

word count: +1.5k

genre: fluff

warnings: none

summary: oc never imagined that her neighbor would confess his feelings for her after waking him up in the middle of the night to ask him for help to kill a spider.

mlist

Why did bugs and all that kind of small living beings had to scare you so much? It's been more than an hour since you spotted a huge spider on the ceiling of your bedroom, and now that you knew that the creature was there, you wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully in its presence. You tried to be brave and don't give it too much attention, it wasn't like it was going to suddenly appear on your bed or something like that, was it?

Still staring at it, you thought that maybe if you tried to think positive about spiders it would be easier to let the scariness go away, or maybe if you named it you could actually become close friends and have it as your roommate from now on.

Ok, that was ridiculous. You really needed to find a way to kill it, because otherwise you would spent the rest of the night with your eyes fully focused on your little new pet.

After debating with yourself, you decided to get up and make your way to your neighbor's front door, you'd ask him to kill it, he'd do it fastly, and then you'd be able to sleep at peace.

You met him the same day you moved to your apartment, coincidentally he was moving to his apartment the same day as you, so both of you ended up helping each other out. Since then you've been good friends, you didn't spend a lot time together because he was occupied most of the time when you were off work, but every so often you'd end up having dinner with him and talking for the rest of the night at his place and vice versa.

You knew quite lot of personal issues about him, and he knew almost everything about you, even though you didn't spend a lot of time together like you'd want to, you could definitely say that he was one of your closest friend, you just knew you could trust him everything no matter what.

"Hey there, is everything ok?" he really took his time to opened the door, and you noticed right away that it was because you just had woken him up.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think you were sleeping, you can go back to sleep if I'm bothering you" you really felt bad for interrupting his sleep.

"Don't worry, do you want to come in?" he said as he make you space to let you in.

"Actually, would you mind helping me with something?" there it was when you realized how dumb you'd look once you tell him the specific reason why you were there.

"Anything you need" You gave him a smile and he followed you to your apartment, more specifically your bedroom.

"This may sound ridiculous but there is spider right there and I'm too coward to kill it myself, can you help me?" you said as you pointed at the place where the arachnid was, luckily it hasn't moved a bit all this time.

"Oh" that was all he said when he spotted it. "I've never told you this, but I really hate spiders"

Oh god.

"Then there is no way you can kill it right? I mean I completely understand if you can't, I should be the one dealing with this"

You felt so bad, first you woke him up and then you ask him to kill a spider for you when he hates them just as much as you. Maybe other person would cursed at you for doing all of that, but thanks god your neighbor was hoseok, there was no way he would get pissed at you for this.

"Look, what if we both try to kill it together? it could be less scary, don't you think?" he was no longer looking at the spider but you now.

"I think that's a great idea" you said as you nodded. "How do we do it then?"

He meditated for a moment and then said "Listen, I have a plan and I think it'll work, we need two mops, tape and a shoe. wait here, I'll bring a mop from my apartment" he made his way out of the bedroom and you stayed there just like he said.

You really wanted to know his plan because you couldn't really tell what he had in mind.

"I got it" he came back a minute later holding the mop with his right hand and a roll of tape in the other. "I brought tape too just in case you didn't have" he sat on your bed and took one of his shoes off.

"I'll go to the kitchen to find mine" you had used it to mop the floor today so you knew exactly where you left it.

Once you got it, you return to your bedroom and you found hoseok fully submerged in his creation, he was taping his shoe to the end of the mop stick.

"I'm really curious about this, would you mind telling me what are youdoing?" you chuckled at the sight, the scene was somehow funny to you.

"This is what we're gonna do, one of us will use the mop you have there to touch the spider, then it'll fall to the ground, once we have it on the ground the other will kill it with the shoe, thanks to my great invention we won't need to get close to it to kill it" it was actually such a good plan.

"Your mind amazes me, I think you can make great money with that invention of yours, I'd buy it" he smiled proudly.

"Who's going to do the dirty work then?" he asked but you didn't answer because something was wrong.

"Hobi, the spider is gone" you both were now staring at the ceiling with your mouths slightly opened. "I think the spider felt we were going to do something, you know?" he turned his attention back to you.

"It was a great idea though" he said disappointed.

You couldn't kill the spider but at least you got to spend some time with him. No one knew it, but you like him, and a lot.

You just can't believe how someone could be such a good person. For you, there wasn't anything bad about him, he is so kind to everyone, always offering help to other people, even if he didn't try it he just made everyone's day better, and you could keep on going with the list all day.

"Oh shit" he said as he touched the back of his pants as if he was looking for something.

"What happened?" you said getting a bit closer to him.

"I left my keys inside of the apartment when I went to look for the things" he had both of his hands grabbing the sides of his head.

"You can stay here tonight if you want" you said shyly. The thought of him staying at your place for the night made your cheeks turn red, even if you were going to sleep in separate room.

"Are you sure? Yoongi has a copy of my keys, I can ask him to come and bring them, you don't have to worry" you know he said that because he didn't want to make you uncomfortable or something like that, but something he didn't know was that you actually wanted him there.

"I insist, stay here" you said as you grabbed one of his hands without thinking twice, it was the first time you did something like that with him, and you could feel the butterflies in the stomach, you felt like you were fifteen again.

He didn't respond right away so you realized that maybe he was the one feeling uncomfortable right now. You let go of his hand and took a step back "If you don't want to stay here I can wait with you until Yoongi arrives with the keys" maybe it was too soon to ask him to stay for the rest of the night.

"I'll stay, I want to stay here with you tonight" you didn't expect him to grab your hand but he did, look how the tables had turned. "Can I tell you something?" he asked almost whispering and you nodded. "I like you" he said all of a sudden.

Ok, you were definitely not expecting that at all. You were perplexed, you didn't know how to react to his confession, it actually felt like you were dreaming.

"Am I dreaming right now? Are you real?" you gently touched his cheek with one finger.

"You are not dreaming at all, and the real me just told you that he likes you" he was looking at you so adorably.

"So if this is real, I'd love to tell you that I like you too" you could feel your cheeks turning red again.

"My hands feel cold, excuse me" he said that just as an excuse to hold your face with his hands and you couldn't help but smile.

"My lips feel cold" you seriously didn't know where was that confidence coming from.

"I think I can help you with that if you let me" he knew what you wanted but he just wanted to make sure that he had your permission.

"Now is when you kiss me" you slowly placed your arms around his neck and before you noticed he was already pressing his lips against yours.

You've always wanted to know how his kisses would feel, and now you can totally say that you won't ever get tired of them.

♡

I hope you liked this, I really want to make a part two of this and I'd like to know if you want it too.

A like or reblog is always appreciated :)

buy me a kofi?

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starlightxsvt · 4 years

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Smoke || Jeon Wonwoo au

Paring: Wonwoo x Female reader

Genre: angst, friends to lovers, some fluff, slight smut

Warnings: cursing

A pair of hands land on your shoulders and you jump slightly, a squeak leaving your lips.

"Wonwoo! You scared me!" You hiss, clutching your chest, putting down the books in your hand. Your shift in the library is almost over.

Wonwoo gives you a soft smile, one that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"Wanted to surprise you. I was free so I thought I'd walk you home." He shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets. You frowned at him slightly, knowing he was hiding something but you let it go for the moment.

"That's really nice of you." You mutter, arranging the books.

He says nothing but watches you do your work quietly.

"I have to stop by the convenience store, do you mind?" You ask as both of you walk side by side, accompanied by the night silence.

"No. Let's go."

You pick up the materials you needed and put them in the small cart, all the while wondering what's wrong with Wonwoo. You knew very well that he didn't visit you to walk you home but because something was bothering him.

You like Wonwoo, more than a close friend. You really liked him but he was rather oblivious to your feelings which you were glad about. You know Wonwoo is seeing someone and even if he didn't, he'd never reciprocate your feelings. As much as it hurt you, Wonwoo was a precious friend and you didn't want to loose him just because of your pathetic unrequited feelings.

You walk to the counter to pay, followed by a quiet Wonwoo who, once reaches there, picks one of the cigarette packets and takes out his money.

You look at him, a little shocked. It was been quite a while since Wonwoo smoked. It took a lot of work on your part to stop that habit of his and seeing him do it again made you upset and realize that something, indeed, was wrong.

"What's wrong, Wonwoo?" You ask once you step out of the store.

"What do you mean?" He doesn't meet your eyes but lights up a cigarette.

You watch him blow out a smoke and sigh,"You are smoking. I thought you said you didn't need to smoke while you're with me."

I don't feel like smoking when you're with me. I just need you, he'd said.

Wonwoo huffs out a breath and sits down at one of the stairs in front of the store. You take a seat beside, maintaining a safe distance from the smoke he breathed.

"Audrey broke up with me."

Oh, so this was the issue.

You don't say anything, instead stare at your feet. He speaks, "She left with that jerk."

"You saw this coming, Wonwoo." You speak quietly.

"Yea but I tried!" He snaps. "I tried my best so that this day would never come. I did everything I could and more for her."

You hated that he was hurt but your hate for how desperate he was for her is far more. You saw vile, ugly emotions of green and you hated the fact that the girl used him like that, while you'd give up everything to be longed by Wonwoo like that.

"You tried too hard Wonwoo. Sometimes letting go hurts less than holding on." The bitter words leave your mouth.

"What?" His brows furrow, irritated. You inhale deeply, "Wonwoo, you need to let her go. She's a bitch who doesn't deserve you. Stop pinning for her when you clearly deserve someone better."

"Don't talk about her like that," he steps on his cigarette and meets your eyes, a clear warning in his tone.

A humorless laugh escapes you as you rub your temples, "Okay seriously?" You stand up, your patience running thin, "Stop acting like a fucking child Wonwoo. Grow up. It's not the end of the world of Audrey doesn't return your feelings.

"Is that your jealousy speaking?" Wonwoo stands up, towering over you, a challenge in his eyes.

You look at him flabbergasted. How did he...

"Yea, just because you think you're doing a good job hiding your feelings for me doesn't mean you really are. The whole campus knows you've got a thing for me so don't act like you weren't jealous of her."

Tears form in your eyes as you gape at him in disbelief. All your self control vanishes as you speak the next words, "Yes, I'm jealous of her! What I have for you is not just a thing, it's my sincere feelings unlike that bitch who has been toying with you since the past year!" You rub your eyes, not letting the tears escape, taking a step towards him. You speak meeting his eyes, "It's not my jealousy speaking because if I wanted, I could've broke the two of you up a long time ago. I'm saying this because I'm tired Wonwoo! I'm tired of being your punching bag! I'm tired of seeing you get hurt repeatedly for someone who doesn't give two shits about you! You always end up getting hurt and I'm the one who collects all your broken pieces. I'm the one who made you stop smoking. I'm the one who holds you together when you fall apart. I've always been there for you Wonwoo but...now I'm wondering... why? To be treated like this?" You voice grows small as you choke back on your tears. Wonwoo looks at you, his jaw clenched and hands fisted.

"I'm done Wonwoo. You're a precious friend to me and I hid my feelings cuz I didn't want to loose you for that. But I'm done being used. I'll see you if you truly want to be friends with me." You whisper and turn around, desperate to escape from his presence.

Weeks have passed by since your last encounter with Wonwoo. As your finals are near you try your best not to think about him; instead you busy yourself with studies. It's the weekend and after a full day of studying you sit in front of the TV, grumpy about the fact that there isn't anything delicious to eat. You contemplate on ordering online when there's a knock on your door.

Wonwoo, the last person you expected, stands there with his hands full of bags. He speaks, "Thought we should have dinner together." You stare at him, astonished at his casual behavior, like nothing happened between you two.

He steps in and places the bags on your kitchen counter, emptying them. You eye the contents - fried chicken and fries with beer, stuffed donuts.

"Go wash your hands. I'll serve them."

"What are you doing Wonwoo? I'm pretty sure you are at the wrong address." You speak watching him plate up. He pauses before his eyes meet yours and he sighs softly, taking a seat on your kitchen stool.

"I've thought a lot about us in these few weeks. And I realized a lot of things. For one, I took you for granted when you are literally the best thing that happened to me, y/n. I... I used you and for that I'm really sorry. I sorry for being a jerk that day when everything you said were true. I'm sorry about so many things."

You stare at the floor not meeting his eyes, arms crossed over your chest as you try to keep your emotions at bay.

"I can't imagine a life without you." He whispers, "I'm not complete without you. You're the one who has held me together until now. You're the one who has been with me through thick and thin. You - you make me want to be a better person. If... if it wasn't for you, I'd be so lost. I'm so glad you came into my life y/n. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Your heart breaks and a stray tear rolls over your cheek. Wonwoo seems to notice as he stands up and cups your cheek, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'll leave if you want me to. I just wanted to see your face and tell you I'm sorry. It has been so long."

You meet his eyes as you place your hands over his, "So what is your point Wonwoo?"

He sighs, "My point is, I don't want to be friends with you. Well, I technically want that but not just friends. I want to be your boyfriend, you best friend, I want to be your everything."

"Are you sure about this? Are you really over Au-"

"Fuck Audrey, fuck everyone. It is you. It was you since the very first moment. I'm sorry it took me so long to understand."

You heart swells with love and you can't hold back anymore as your lips clash with his. You thread your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as his hands find purchase on your waist. Soon enough he's picking you up and putting you on the kitchen counter as his hands tug on your shirt. "Wonwoo, what are you doing?" You gasp, breathless.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he murmurs, planting kisses along your neck as his hands travel all over your body,accompanied by your soft sighs and moans.

"The food will get cold."

"Yeah? Well the food can wait but I can't." He attaches his lips to yours again, picking you up and heading for your bedroom. "Someone's really horny." You smile against his lips.

"Well you are not any better." He retorts putting you on the bed and softly kissing your cheek before taking off his shirt.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you."

"Mmhmm."

He smiles,"I gave up smoking, for good. I really, only need you."

A/N: Happy Birthday to our precious bag of luck and my bias wrecker,Jeon Wonwoo. This one is dedicated to him. And thanks to y'all for loving my previous work, it really made me very happy :"). As always, feedbacks are appreciated! 💖

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