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y-rhywbeth2 · 6 months

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Elf Lore Dump - 1/???

I had to cut a lot of detail. Wouldn't have to do that with any of the other demihumans; they'd just fill a single fucking post. I could be talking about dwarven druids and their giant bees, or bitching about how much better Tieflings used to be, but nooo elves are fuckin' special!

Elves in brief are fey spirits in mortal flesh, spiritually connected to each other, the world and their gods. Often aloof, considered creatures of ethereal grace... They would also very much appreciate it if you never mentioned their long history of fuckups including several world wars, multiple war crimes and genocides - successful or attempted.

I just shoved a load of elven lore together in an attempt at an overview, occasionally hypothesising when gaps appeared in my knowledge; here's hoping it made sense!

Overview; Spirituality stuff/Afterlife; History rundown; The different types of elf

As always: "D&D is old as balls, there's a lot of stories and information out there that may conflict with what you hear from me because D&D is an old trainwreck pileup of lore that keeps contradicting and tripping over itself and there's stuff I might not be aware of." I personally am mostly taking the angle here that older, detailed Realmslore will take precedence over generic 5e lore.

The elven word for their own race is Tel'Quessir - translated as "The People", or "Of The People". This is due to the aforementioned spiritual link: elves are spiritually linked to each other, which gives them a low-level telepathic link…

"Elves seem to have some sort of mental link between them […] linked with [a] mysterious gland in their brains. It cloaks their brains from [enchantment magic] but it can also emit energy to allow another elf to project his mind into another's and then the two share thoughts on some level. The closeness of elven communities comes from this habitual sharing of minds, and the elves do not understand other races without this ability, for they cannot conceive of being totally alone in one's own head. Apparently, elves look forward to sharing their thoughts with others and do it directly or in "reverie."" - Cormanthyr: Empire of the Elves

"[Elves] mystically acquire [skills they don't have] by drawing them from shared elven memory..." - Mordenkainen's Monsters of the Multiverse

Reverie is the world for the elven trance in the Realms. During reverie the elf falls into a trance like state where they lie down (or recline on a chair or something) and go incredibly still, their eyes open. This can often cause panic amongst non-elves not experienced with elves, to whom they appear to have just died.

In reverie an elf relieves the past events of their life. This is how elves avoid forgetting past events of their lives, despite living for 700+ years.

Pregnant elves eventually fall into a semi-reverie as they commune with the developing infant. The child "learns" of their family, home and is born knowing them and starts off already knowing some basic knowledge of the elven language.

Non-elves are N'Tel'Quessir or N'Quess - "Not of the People." They are not part of this link and not part of the whole that is The People.

I don't think it's ever been specified whether the mind linking applies to half-elves. Half-elves may chose to either reverie as an elf or sleep as a human and possess the elven resistance to enchantment magic, implying that gland exists to some degree. They might be capable of some degree of this connection, at least, but possibly not the full version. Half-elves are sometimes insultingly referred to their more racist cousins as A'Tel'Quessir - "Almost of the People"

Dark elves theoretically should be able to do this, but 99% of them wouldn't, due to Lolthite cult brainwashing.

Considering that vampires are immune to enchantment and psionics due to being corpses with no brain activity, presumably that gland is dead and an elf who becomes a vampire cannot access this communion. They do appear to be capable reverie in some depictions, however - though they probably can't share it. (Even if they can, I highly doubt elves are going to trust a spiritually defiled undead monster that's also an abomination in the eyes of one of the major deities in the elven pantheon.)

Elves are inherently connected to magic and the Weave. This is apparently what gives them their extremely long lifespans and what is behind their cultural adoration of magic.

Random things about elven culture include that they have champagne and they've invented the prog rock genre, according to Ed Greenwood, who created the setting.

Elves live 700+ years and physically and psychologically mature at the same rate as humans. While they are still in their first century of life, and within a human lifespan, they tend to experience the world much the same as a human of equivalent age rather than an ancient fey being to whom next century is the equivalent of next year. Elves in this stage of development usually go through a cultural rebellion stage. They ignore their own communities in favour of humans, if possible; involve themselves in human "fads"; and have flings and relationships with non-elves. Young elves sometimes dabble with evil alignments, something older elves generally consider a phase that they'll grow out of and look back on with embarrassment when they're old enough to know better.

Elves are not considered fully mature adults by their own people's standards until they're into their second century of life. Age 20-120 is basically like being 18 to early 20-something for a century from the elven perspective. Fully mature elves are slow to respond to events (major human events pass in the blink of an eye to elves) and have a rather laissez-faire attitude to the world. That might explain why elven culture values personal freedom and individuality.

--- Afterlife: Elves are kind of fey spirits in mortal flesh - which was backed up in 2e, when the fact that they have spirits and don't have souls meant that resurrecting them could be annoying and expensive sometimes, because Raise Dead wouldn't work on them, only Resurrection and True Resurrection.

According to Ed, the elven spirit is inherently tied to the plane of Arvandor. While they can dedicate themselves to non-elven gods, outside of exceptional cases those elves will still be going to Arvandor when they die.

Dying, in elven terms, is called "Passing West." In their reverie they begin to receive signs from Sehanine Moonbow, elven goddess of dreams and death, who prepares them for the end of this life. A ring of colour like the titular moonbow forms in their iris, marking to other elves that they're in their final days. Then they travel to elven lands where they die amongst their people or pass directly to Arvandor, I'm not sure. Elves that die of unnatural causes are given funerals according to their cultural norms (usually either in tombs or private burials.) It is believed by the very religious that in Arvandor elves will join in a reverie-like communion with the gods - the Seldarine (Tel'Seldarine; "the siblings of the wood") Reincarnation is a part of elven religion, it's believed that Sehanine works with Corellon on preparing elven spirits in Arvandor for the transition to their next life when/if the time comes. In exceptional cases they can also petition the gods to be reincarnated as nymphs, dryads and treants (ents, basically). Or be turned into guardian spirits who will manifest to defend their homes in times of war. There's also a special type of lich (a baelnorn) that can be formed if there's a dire need for it, very begrudgingly tolerated by Sehanine despite her dislike of the undead.

Drow rarely die of old age, and most being Lolthite their souls go to her and I believe she transforms their souls into one of the millions of soul spiders that accompany her (sometimes she makes them into other things, sometimes she eats them) Eilistraeean drow have a similar ending to surface elves, where Eilistraee will call to them at the end of their lives and take them with her to the afterlife (Eilistraee's realm in Arvandor) Most of the Seldarine (with one or two exceptions) actually have no issue accepting dark elven worshippers, so I assume this particular minority of dark elves is also guided to Arvandor by Sehanine. Otherwise they take the half-elven route:

Half-elves have souls like humans, and are not tied to Arvandor in the same way. Worshippers of the Seldarine will be collected by them at the Fugue plane as an elf, and those that worship human gods will be collected by one of them.

A brief, clumsy overview of elven history: Elven myths about their origin vary. All claim Corellon Larethian as the creator of their people. The most popular story states they're descended from their chief deity, Corellon Larethian and his/her future-consort Sehanine (and by all accounts, they appear to be correct). The first elves were born from Corellon's shed blood mingled with Sehanine's tears, shed when s/he was wounded fighting the orc god Gruumsh back at the dawn of time.

Of course before Sehanine was consort, Corellon was involved with Araushnee the elven godess of fate. This led to an epic divorce when she allied with Gruumsh and Corellon's other enemies in an attempt to overthrow him and once the dust cleared (following several attempted coups) he turned her into a demon and exiled her to the Abyss (the lower plane of Chaotic Evil), where she renamed herself Lolth and decided that spiders were actually really cool and she was going to start a cult and society based on spiders - a conclusion she almost certainly didn't reach because because spiders eat their mates and she's bitter about her ex, imo. Also, Lolth's banishment would surely not come back to bite everybody on the ass At All.

Elves first leave the Feywild for Toril in -27,000 DR - the Dawn Age, when Dragons rule the world. The Torilian Fey open a portal connecting Abeir-Toril to the Feywild, bringing the dark elves through to come disrupt the dragons. A tribe named the Ilythiiri establish a kingdom in the South of Faerun [Ilythiir] that will be a beacon of elven culture for millennia. Other waves of immigration follow at different times. Elves eventually defeat the dragons at war; elven nations dominate the planet. Five world wars ensue, involving the numerous war crimes nobody wants to talk about because it makes all of them look bad, and ending in the dark elves getting exiled. Humanity rises to power, moving faster than elves can currently comprehend, driving elves out in their expansionism. Most of the elves' bad history with humans involves the Netherese. Various methods are used to try and stop this ranging on a scale from friendship and cultural outreach to founding genocidal terrorist groups because humans are less than animals and must all be exterminated. Elves decide to make Only-Elves-Allowed-Island by dragging a piece of Arvandor into Toril. The Seldarine say; no, please just make friends with the non-elves. The Elves ignore this and end up blowing up a continent, causing mass death. The result is Evermeet (only reachable with permission, and guarded by the avatars of the Seldarine). The elves plan to totally abandon Faerûn and live there alone with no N'Quess. In 1344 DR there's a magical summons that calls all elves to either Evermeet of the elven city of Evereska. It is followed by pretty much everybody except some moon elves and all the copper elves. Everybody except the elves think this disappearance is really sudden, but the elves have been planning this for centuries, actually.

4e had the Spellplague cause the Feywild to realign with Toril, as it did when the elves first moved over. This caused Evermeet to vanish into the Feywild somewhere and allowed "high elves" to step between worlds with ease and then the elves started rebuilding their lost homelands in the Feywild (on the locations where they used to be, but not in the "human" world). I have no idea whether any of that is still canon.

---

A somewhat tongue-in-cheek, overly simplistic guide to elves:

Half-elves - Cha'Tel'Quessir - are the offspring of humans and elves or two half-elves. Very, very rarely they occur in a human lineage that has an elven ancestor a few centuries back in the family tree. Half-elves sport a mixture of human and elven features, sometimes fully passing as one or the other. They generally follow the culture norms of whatever society they were born in, either human or elven. The only places that half-elves make up a significant enough numbers where they can make a significant society are in the Yuirwood in Aglarond of Easter Faerun, and (formerly, I think) the Loviataran half-drow of Dambarath. They live between 100-200 years.

It'd be best to give them their own post, honestly.

The child of a half-elf and a human is, mechanically, a human. The child of a half-elf and an elf is, mechanically, an elf. But these children may inherit traits from their heritage (so a human with pointy ears or a moon elf with brown eyes and skin, for example).

When elves mix (for example, a green elf and a silver elf) the result is a child that, again, mechanically speaking, is the same "subrace" as one of their two parents. They still inherit genes from the other parent. Dark elven genes are almost always dominant, and an elf with one dark elf parent will be a dark elf themselves nine times out of ten.

WOOD ELVES: Copper elf | Sylvan elf | Wood elf | Or'Tel'Quessir - Chill, patient, friendly. The only elven group that's native to Toril, the result of a mixture of the other elven ethnicities after the five world wars (Crown Wars) becoming populous and focused enough to become their own independent culture. As a weird side effect they actually like the world and the non-elven people in it and don't want to lock themselves away from it. They like living in nature in quiet little villages and towns in the wilderness, and are the only elves that don't like arcane magic - locking yourself away studying magic and never seeing the world or other people is unhealthy for you. Druidry is way better. Most half-elves of "wood elven" variety have copper elven ancestry. - Skin is coppery brown, occasionally with a green tinge; eyes are brown, hazel, green; hair is usually brown or black, but occasionally blonde and copper-red turns up.

Green elf | Wild elf (slur) | Sy'Tel'Quessir - Closely related to the dark elves, who they branched off from. Watched as through five world wars one of their dark elven cousins' nations (which they also lived in) was genocided off the map by gold elves for resisting colonisation; and the other dark elven nation started getting involved with Lolth and demons and war crimes; and by the end of it all the other elves had annihilated every single green elven civilisation. They came to the conclusion that permanency and city building is bullshit and they're going to vanish into the wilds, embrace a nomadic lifestyle in touch with the earth and everybody else in the world can fuck off. Bye, don't call (or we'll stab you). They like nature, prefer sorcery to wizardry and have an animistic approach to religion. Often have to deal with other elves either trying to "civilise" them or else going for the "noble savage" angle and appropriating their culture. Very nice bead work. - Dark brown skin; hair is brown or black with the rare blonde; eyes brown, green, hazel with the rare blue.

HIGH ELVES: Silver elf | Moon elf | Grey elf (slur) | Teu'Tel'Quessir - "Flighty, chaotic and irreverent." The party elves who enjoy fun, adventure, hedonism and gambling. Revelry is an important part of their culture. Basically the only type of elf you'll ever meet because the copper elves stay in the forests and the other elves, on average, would rather kill themselves than live with non-elves. Responsible for the vast majority of half-elves in existence. Curiously they make up more than 50% of the demographic of the church of the elven god of moonlight, mystery, dreams, death, and hating the undead. - Silver elven genes include white/silver or black hair; Pale skin, often tinged with blue; Blue, green or grey eyes.

Gold elf | Sun elf | Ar'Tel'Quessir - No actual affinity for the sun, just a reference to their golden colouration. "Dour and serious." "Methodical, careful." Conservative religious types who are raised to believe that they are the purest example of elvendom and that Corellon appointed them defenders of elvendom against the hoards of humans who have driven the elves off their lands and despoil the natural world in their inherent greed and short-sightedness. Would respond to the idea of leaving elven lands much like His Majesty responding to the idea of joining your camp: "I'd rather die." - Gold, bronze, amber skin. Bright golden blonde hair, copper or black. Gold, black, silver and rarely; bright copper or golden-hazel eyes.

Star elf | Mithral elf | Ruar'Tel'Quessir - Human expansion led to the humans trying to conquer them (they lost), so they created an entire plane of existence (Sildëyuir) and all moved there in -699 DR. Recently forced to move back sometime between 1300-1400 DR due to strange monsters invading. They're not very religious, have a strong bardic tradition and wear these weird glowing gems on their foreheads for some reason, they don't know shit about the modern world and they're terrified of non-elves. - Pale skin, like moon elves but with a violet tinge; Gold, red or silver hair; Grey or violet eyes.

Basic overview of the fallout with the dark elves and everyone else: An empire of gold elves (Aryvandaar) decides they're going to conquer the world and starts by colonising the nearby dark elven empire of Miyeritar. Down south, Ilyithiir responds with hostility. Miyeritar resists, Aryvandaar responds with genocide and wipes them off the map with magic that leaves the entire Miyeritaran region permanently wrecked (even into the modern day) and wipes out the worshipers and power base of Eilistraee, leaving no barriers to prevent Lolth from taking over the dark elves as their only god (In the future surface elves will point blank refuse to ever discuss this event). Ilyithiir responds by going apeshit and starts committing imperialistic war crimes claiming to be avenging their Northern kin. The Ilythiiri were also ruled by demon worshipping imperialists who'd fallen under sway of Lolth and the surface elves insist that avenging Miyeritar was just an excuse.

The surface elves say that the dark elves are N'Quess and start calling them dhaerow, which means traitor. The dark elves say that the surface elves are N'Quess and start calling them darthiir, which means traitor.

Lolth dominates 99% of dark elven society with her cult, and basically their entire society is a cycle of abuse married to their bitter divorcee goddess' spider fetish. Yay, toxic matriarchy; Those with power can do whatever they want to those who have less, so you should do everything to make sure you're the one with the power; Love is a lie, kill your mate when you're done with him; If your children aren't trying to kill you, you've failed as a parent; You only have worth because of what worth Mother Lolth gives you. You only live because of Her. etc.

There are also the merchant clans who live outside of city. They're a little more egalitarian, because dealing with outsiders is demeaning, so it's a man's job. They favour plutocratic governance (they're ruled by an inner council formed by the most wealthy members, often male wizards). They're the most "friendly" to outsiders and basically the trade they bring is the only thing that stops the noble house run cities from collapsing.

Minorities include the Eilistraeeans; Eilistraee voluntarily went into exile so that somebody would be there to encourage the dark elves to put down the knives, get away from Lolth, move out of the Underdark and go to fucking therapy.

Her twin brother, Vhaeraun, also encourages the dark elves to put down the knives, get away from Lolth, move out of the Underdark and go to fucking therapy - stab other people instead of each other! This is totally unproductive villainy! You're better than this! How are the drow supposed to conquer the world and rule over the lesser beings if we're still in this glorified cave after a millennia?? - Noticable sexual dimorphism, females are larger and more robust than males. Very dark skin. Hair is usually pale with black being an extremely rare recessive gene (white, platinum blonde, pale copper). Eyes are also typically in pale colours, with red being common because Lolth decided to have the Ilythiiri nobles breed with a demon lord and that got into the gene pool. Other eye colours: white-grey, lavender, pink, amber, black, green is sometimes seen but it's thought to be a sign of surface-elven ancestry.

OTHER: Avariel | Winged Elves | Aril'Tel'Quessir - Flying elves with bird wings who live on mountaintops. Almost extinct. Sea elves | Aquatic Elves | Alu'Tel'Quessir - Elves with gills and webbed hands and feet that live under the sea. Blue with green stripes or green with brown stripes, depending on what sea they're from. Lythari | Ly'Tel'Quessir - An exclusive elf club where you join by getting infected with elf lycanthropy and then you turn into a silver wolf. They're sterile, so they can only make more lythari through recruiting.

#elf tav #half elf tav #drow tav #dark elf tav #astarion #astarion ancunin #halsin #minthara #long post

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toshodai · 1 year

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Races of Magus of the Library: the Kadoe

The following is part of a post originally compiled on reddit by /u/atlathing, and edited by the webmaster for clarity. Refer to the introduction post for info about commentary and sources.

Original Name: カドー, "Kado" [no double consonant, but it's close enough to the Caddo nation] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caddo

Classification: Omeka family Swahili name, interesting... https://omeka.org/about/project/

Subclassifications: Nambi, Tass, Sooni

Faith: Ki [This one is kind of a mystery, both story- and inspiration-wise. Lack of background aside, the original name of this is "起教," which doesn't pop up as anything in any Japanese dictionaries but might mean something like "Awakening Faith?" On the other hand, "Ki" is a fairly common translation for the East Asian concept of life force.] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qi

Representative Color: Red, believed to be a ward against the afterlife

Temperament: Kind and Crafty

"The Kadoe will urge you to take your time. Don't accept those words at face value. If you dawdle on the stairway, they'll grow impatient and push you the rest of the way down." —Cautionary advice offered at a Ki temple

A people who once lived in mountainous regions with horned temples and black hair, more easily identified by their distinctive kimonos (no canon name for them currently), and for some Kadoe, face masks. [Note that Cynthea has white hair due to her excessive mana as a Citlapol]

A Kadoe's name is typically made of three parts, and typically referred to by surname [though pretty much everyone in polite city society seems to do this // chapter 10, volume 3, page 23] Possible connection to tria nomina?https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_naming_conventions#Tria_nomina

Kadoe masks are of particular importance, as removing a Kadoe's mask in public is akin to them being stripped naked. [It's still quite unclear what/where this masking practice is rooted in so far, in the story or otherwise. Masks have been a traditional part of Japanese ceremony since prehistoric times, but Kadoe designs are much closer to those from African traditions than Japan.] https://traditionalkyoto.com/culture/masks/ https://artsandculture.google.com/story/african-masks-connecting-with-the-afterlife/cgISUlZn5SE-IQ

Like the other traditional Japanese signifiers might imply (kimonos, vertical writing, etc.), an awareness of the spirits is apparently important to the Kadoe. At marriages, guests are known to completely cover the bride in black ink to ward off malicious spirits [chapter 5, volume 2, page 38] [A ritual known as] a libation https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libation

Bonus section: the Masked Empire?

A part of history that has scant been mentioned outside of chapter endcaps is the empire forged by the Kadoe prior to the Rakta's dominance of the continent, long before the appearance of the Ashen Death. Almost all of what we know has only been released in Izumi-san's tweets about the Atlatonan continent's history.

More than a millennium prior to the present day, the Haupi Kingdom, the civilization that laid the foundation for modern life, was suddenly besieged by a unknown tribe of masked peoples from the north. Wielding the first grimoires, which granted even those with weak mana the ability to cast spells, the Kadoe destroyed the Haupi Kingdom and many of their precious texts in a single night. Jain Sei Tahn, second emperor of the Masked Empire, would proclaim themselves Great Magus [first mentioned among a suite of Kadoe-related books in chapter 20, volume 5, page 42], and from there, the Kadoe expanded outward until they lay claim to the entire continent.

As written in the logbook entry for the trio of spellbooks named the Trine:

"Three grimoires fashioned by the Kadoe, forefathers of the spellbook, in which spirits of Earth, Water, and Thunder reside. The three spirits are said to be the most terrifying in all history, and wielded by the Kadoe, they ensured the 700-year-ironclad reign of the Masked Empire. Curiously, when the Empire finally began to fall at the hands of the Rakta, the Kadoe never employed the Trine in their defense. It is believed that the tomes were somehow lost, and that their disappearance sealed the Empire's fate."

For an empire that held sway over all Atlatonan for so long, it's interesting that their presence is simply a footnote in the present day. The webmaster supposes all the animosity towards the Kadoe's past tyranny was quickly directed towards the Rakta once they came to power before the Ashen Death, leaving what was left of the Kadoe to become the innocuously peculiar people they are now.

For the rest of the races:

Hyron

Rakta

Creyak

Kokopah

Haupi

Syrrana

#analysis #seven landed races #magus of the library #toshokan no daimajutsushi #manga #altathing

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stardusttrashed · 3 years

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Part 1 - A Choice

A/n: hey loves!! I know it's been a while since I've posted Part 1, but I promise Part 2 is still otw. It's currently sitting at like 7K words gah damn and there are still a few more scenes I wanna add. Hopefully, I can finally finish it sometime this week and get it posted during the weekend

Update: Part 2(With no regrets) is now out

W/C: 700

“Le,” you called out at the sound of the front door opening, “I made you tea…, but it got cold, so I might’ve drunk it.” You chuckled to yourself, dog-earing the page of the book in your hands before setting it on the bedside table. “There’s more water in the kettle, though.” You crawled out of bed, padding towards the kitchen. “And I left the soup in the pot so it wouldn’t get as…,” you trailed off as you were greeted by Jean and Levi awkwardly standing by the doorway.

Jean pushed down the overwhelming jealousy growing in his chest. Levi had the perfect life. Respect. Freedom. A cabin with a beautiful view and a stream a few meters away. But you trumped everything else. You made Levi’s life perfect. Your presence, your love, your smile, everything about you made Levi’s life seem that much more perfect. But more than anything, everything about you only reminded Jean of how you were the missing piece in his life that he was so desperately trying to get ahold of.

Levi didn’t have to look at the man next to him to see his lovestruck expression. No, it was apparent enough just through the corner of his eye, which made him wonder why you never seemed to notice it yourself.

“Hey, horse face,” you broke the short-lived silence teasingly, nervously smoothing out your sundress. You sank your teeth into the side of your cheek in an attempt to hold back the smug smile on your face. You knew he hated the nickname, but that made you use it even more. Not out of hate, but out of a pure desire to tease him. You relished in his reactions every time. The way his eyebrows knitted together in annoyance, or how his cheeks flushed over, even his adorable grumbles.

The ridiculous nickname never sounded better than when it left your lips. Every time the god-forsaken nickname was uttered by you, it became hard to hate it anymore. Instead, you made it sound like the sweetest thing anything could be called. “Hi, mon Ange,” Jean replied in a tender voice, a caring smile spreading across his lips.

Levi’s left eye twitched at Jean’s nickname for you. He wondered if Jean had ever even bothered translating the name for you. Even if he hadn’t, it bothered Levi. Not so much because of the name itself, more because he didn’t have a name for you like that. He watched the radiant smile the name drew from you followed with a death grip of a hug.

You practically flung yourself at Jean, wrapping your arms around his torso. You buried your nose in the crook of his neck, clinging to his welcoming warmth and calming smell. He was just a friend, and you’ve hugged like this plenty of times in the past, but something about the way his fingertips ran up and down your spine drove your mind insane. Your heart was hammering in your chest, growing faster with each languid feathery touch. It probably should’ve been the least of your worries, considering the fluttering occurring between your legs.

“Honey, you didn’t tell me we were having company for dinner,” you pulled yourself away from Jean, smoothing out your sundress as you turned towards Levi momentarily. “I would’ve gone to the market.” With a sigh and a shrug, you turned back to Jean, “any special requests?”

“He’s not here for dinner,” Levi grunted, a light blush tinting his cheeks. He shifted his weight from one foot to another awkwardly. It seemed like a good idea earlier, but right now, with you in front of him, the idea seemed kind of silly- stupid even.

“I wouldn’t dare turn down your cooking, though,” Jean blurted out with a bashful smile. His eyes trailed down your body, subconsciously roving over all your curves. “But, I think Levi wanted me to taste something a little,” his eyes locked with yours as he pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, “sweeter.”

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x y/n #aot levi #snk levi #jean kirschtein x reader #aot jean #jean kirschtien #jean kirstein #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x black reader #shingeki no kyoujin imagine

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bedlamsbard · 2 years

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700 words written today -- I am actually rewriting the scene that I wrote yesterday, because I decided I wanted to do something different with it. I’m a little scrambled in general right now, which is pretty much -- well, whatever, it happens, I think I’ve been like that for the past five years or so. Went to the post office. Was going to make cookies but realized I didn’t have enough brown sugar -- fortunately right before I put anything in the mixing bowl. So another day.

Snippet from Yonder prequel Natasha concept 1 (it’s the same scene as yesterday! but with additions! and also the snippet cuts off significantly earlier. but you can see what I mean when I say I’m going to go back and add stuff in).

His voice very soft, Steve asked Bruce, “Can you understand them?”

The universal translator the Hulk had been fitted with on Sakaar fortunately worked on Bruce too – Natasha hadn’t seen why it wouldn’t, but apparently Bruce himself hadn’t even known it existed until he and Rocket had figured it out by accident. They had all learned the hard way – by Loki and the Valkyrie yelling at each other in indecipherable Nordic syllables – that just because the Allspeak meant that humans could understand Asgardian when the speaker wanted them to or didn’t care if they did, it didn’t mean that they would do so if the speaker wanted privacy. And Natasha suspected that this wasn’t Asgardian, anyway, or at least not the same dialect of Asgardian that was normally spoken.

Bruce bit his lip. “About three in every five words,” he said. “I think what they’re speaking is a lot older than the –” He wiggled a finger at the side of his head. “– so it’s not getting everything. I think she asked him who he is. I have no idea what he was saying earlier.”

Loki’s voice cut cleanly over the sound of drums; Natasha caught his name and Odin’s in the otherwise alien syllables, then Thor’s.

“He says he’s Loki, son of Odin, son of Bor, son of Buri, the first of his line to sit the throne at – I didn’t catch that one, I think it’s a name,” Bruce translated, frowning. “He says he’s Loki, son of Frigga, daughter of Fjörgynn, son of – I can’t pronounce that. Loki, brother of Thor, son of Odin. Loki, blood – blood? – son of Laufey of Jotunheim.”

Forseti asked another question; got another response, Loki’s voice rising and falling like the waves crashing on the shore below the cliff-face.

“She’s asking by, um, by what right he comes here.”

#daily fic snippet #roleswap endgame au concept

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jikookuntold · 3 years

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Jungkook and His Cover Songs: Is “10000 Hours” about Jimin?

Disclaimer: The following post includes theories, lyric and numeric analysis, plus my personal opinions, so please don’t take anything seriously. I’m too lazy to upload photos and videos for the moments I mentioned here, but I’m sure you know about them all. Any Jikooker must know. And I’m not Korean or a Korean culture expert, I just know as much as any Stan Twitter ARMY knows about their culture.

Anyone?

Maybe one of the biggest Jikook moments of 2021 so far, is where Jimin jumped into Jungkook’s hug, in Lee Hyun’s Vlog. But the other moment on that Vlog was even more significant; Jungkook was singing “Anyone” from Justin Bieber’s new album, and Jimin was harmonizing with him while holding on his shirt. I don’t want to mention their interview moment singing “Peaches” because I know this song is super popular in South Korea right now and somehow it doesn’t count as a moment. But it’s safe to say that Jikook has something special with his songs, and JK in particular always was invested in him.

JK & JB

The reason behind Jungkook’s devotion to Justin Bieber was always a big question for me, and I got my answer not long time ago. Jungkook’s playlist for Melon Radio Station included a song from JB’s new album named “Lonely”. This is one of the most personal songs any artist can ever make, and JK recommended it to his audience. Here are the lyrics of “Lonely” by Justin Bieber:

Everybody knows my name now

But somethin' 'bout it still feels strange

Like lookin' in a mirror, tryna steady yourself

And seein' somebody else

And everything is not the same now

It feels like all our lives have changed

Maybe when I'm older, it'll all calm down

But it's killin' me now

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

I'm so lonely, lonely

Everybody knows my past now

Like my house was always made of glass

And maybe that's the price you pay

For the money and fame at an early age

And everybody saw me sick

And it felt like no one gave

They criticized the things I did as an idiot kid

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

These lyrics made me think of one specific thing, the thing that JK and JB have in common: They started their careers at a very young age, and their lives have been under the scrutiny of so many people. These people judged and criticized them but never tried to understand them. The lyrics are straightforward and leave no place for interpretation. By recommending this song, JK showed that he had (and probably still has) the same experiences in his life, and I think the reason he recommends or covers JB’s songs more than any other artist is that he has many things in common with him, and feels connected to his songs.

This can lead us to another theory: By covering a Justin Bieber song, Jungkook shares something about himself with us, something that he can’t express directly.

Jungkook is interested in JB’s songs, but he is not the only one. As I said earlier in this post, Jimin shares the same taste with Jungkook, and my receipt is not just that “Anyone” or “Peaches” harmonizing moments, but also Jimin’s Spotify playlists. Since 2017 (or earlier, I’m not sure about this part) he has added some JB songs to his official playlist, and even his current playlist (July 2021) has two JB songs. And also let’s not forget the fact that Jikook as a subunit started in 2014 with a JB cover. Yes, I’m talking about “Mistletoe” and as you may know, Jimin translated the lyrics of this song to Korean.

10000 Hours

Nearly 700 words and I haven’t started yet! The subject of this post was supposed to be the connections between “10000 hours” cover and Jikook but this prelude was necessary to clarify all the aspects of the topic and we find out how JB is special for JK and Jimin and how they (especially Jungkook) feel connected to him. Anyways, back to 10000 hours:

Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber released this Grammy winner song in October 2019. Here are the lyrics:

Do you love the rain, does it make you dance

When you're drunk with your friends at a party

What's your favorite song, does it make you smile

Do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Do you miss the road that you grew up on?

Did you get your middle name from your grandma?

When you think about your forever now, do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Ooh, want the good and the bad and everything in between

Ooh, gotta cure my curiosity

Ooh, yeah

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that

Sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

And I'm gonna love you

As you can see, the lyrics are 100% romantic, and the singers including JB, have dedicated this song to their lovers. Also, their girlfriends/wives have a cameo in the MV, which leaves no place for speculation for the context of the song: Even though the uncertainties always exist and no one knows about the future, our love is strong and will stay strong regardless of time.

The Cover and the Theories

Nearly one year later, on July 28th, 2020, Jungkook surprised ARMYs with a short video he tweeted at 11:56 AM. That video was a 49 seconds cover of 10000 hours. A few minutes later, he deleted the tweet (apparently with the advertisement excuses, because it was tweeted from an iPhone and they have a contract with Samsung). Later that night, Jungkook released the full version on Sound Cloud and tweeted the link at 11:47 PM.

Jikookers discovered numerous theories that day about the times of both tweets; if you add the digits of the time, the result is “13” for both tweets 1+1+4+7=13, 1+1+5+6=13, and as you already know “13” is Jikook’s magic number. Also, the first video he tweeted was 49 seconds and 4+9=13. But in my opinion, this theory is not strong. I know that numerology is very popular in Korean culture but still, all of this can be coincidences, but the other things I’m going to bring up are most likely not.

28th July 2020 was the 7th anniversary of the first Jikook selca posted after debut. This also might be a coincidence and to be honest, it cannot be a strong link to make a connection with Jikook, but worths sharing.

The next thing that many Jikookers also pointed out, was related to the title of the song. The lyrics say “10000 hours and 10000 more” and 20000 hours after the 28th of July is 8th November 2022. As you may know. Jikookers believe November 8th is a significant date for Jikook. I believe this can be a coincidence either, and it’s very unlikely of Jungkook to do such calculations (Koreans are interested in numbers when it comes to days and dates, but counting hours is not usual in any culture. Other than that, I’m still doubtful about the origins of the November 8th theory because we have nothing other than two tweets and G.C.F Tokyo release date and their hotel room in Tokyo which still can be coincidental). But I don’t deny these theories because even as a coincidence, it’s still very interesting.

And the next theory is connected to the “Red Moon”. On 27th July 2018, a total lunar eclipse happened all over the world, which became known as the red moon. At that time, BTS were in Malta, and on the same night, Jikook were watching the red moon on a boat. They shared plenty of photos and videos of that moment and I’m sure as a Jikooker you have seen them all and you know that night had a very romantic mood (BigHit words, not mine) for Jikook. So, a second anniversary for that night and the day after that night can be a significant date to release a very romantic cover. Is this a coincidence too? I think we had many of them already.

And last but not least is something connected to Korean culture. You probably know that 1000 days anniversaries are very important for Koreans and they celebrate them along with real anniversaries of the important dates in their lives. And guess what? 27th July 2020 is 1000 days after 31 October 2017. This day is the day Jikook’s travel to Tokyo ended and they posted their couply mirror selca on Twitter with flower bouquet emoji. Despite the one-day difference (the same case for the red moon anniversary), this is not a minor event or small coincidence. I believe Jungkook posted “10000 hour” cover for this reason and based on this, the other theories I mentioned earlier can be true either.

The lyrics hit different if you read them again, after knowing this fact. Right? I don’t want to make this post much longer but before wrapping up, I want to talk about the lyrics of “Anyone” by JB (the song Jikook were harmonizing in Lee Hyun’s Vlog):

Dance with me under the diamonds

See me like breath in the cold

Sleep with me here in the silence

Come kiss me, silver and gold

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

So, just hold on like you will never let go

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone (anyone)

Not anyone

Forever's not enough time to (oh)

Love you the way that I want (love you the way that I want)

'Cause every morning I find you (oh)

I fear the day that I don't

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

'Cause certain things are out of our control

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

Only one (I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (I've ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

It's not anyone, not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, oh

If it's not you, it's not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, whoa

Yeah, you are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya) gotta tell ya

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done, oh, yeah)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

If you read the lyrics, you will notice that the context is very similar to “10000 hours”. It talks about the uncertainties of a beautiful love or in other words: No matter what the future brings to us, this love will last forever.

This context of uncertainty and unknown future for a romance is a common concept in many of the songs Jungkook has covered and it’s not limited to the Justin Bieber covers he has done and maybe this concept can be the topic for my next analysis.

#jikook #jikookanalysis #jimin #jungkook

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queennicoleinboots · 3 years

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Chrissy And All Of Her Glorious Titles Have Spoken

A/N: Sequel to "Bears, Eat Your Heart Out, Chrissy, The Baby Girl with Many Glorious Titles Is Trying To Arrive. Apparently, So Is Everyone Else.

"Lights! Sound! Costumes! Make-up! Camera! Action!" Chrissy with all of her glorious titles spoke with her distinct English voice.

The cameras turned on to reveal seven speakers sitting at the purple Planetary Broadcasting Corporation's newsdesk sitting seven inches apart wearing seven different colors, seven different style shirts, and seven different collars having seven different personalities and representing seven different cities.

Blinky blinked seven times and wore a light teal long-sleeved button-down shirt with a gold chain collar. He wore round-framed glasses. He represented Ocala, Florgia, United Emirates of Chinta.

Count Vanilla growled 63 times and wore an off-white polo shirt with a pocket on the left side of his chest with a silver chain around his neck. He wore square-framed glasses. He represented The Fountain of Youth City of Georgia.

Banana Ice rolled his eyes fully in the back of his head before he spoke, "I'm Banana Ice, the submissive husband of Abigail Ice and son of Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, the beautiful lady sitting next to me. I'm truly honored to be next to her and in front of you broadcasting, and... translating Count Vanilla's growls that translate Blinky's blinks. My mother will speak French." He removed his lip piercings to make it easier for us to understand him. He still had that same mohawk and wore the same black collar with the bananas hanging off of it, a sleek black long-sleeved button-down shirt with a banana yellow collar. He represented Graytown, Georgia, United States of America that is still America.

"WHAT?! YOU'RE MARRIED TO MY DAUGHTER?!" Bruce Ice shouted as he turned toward Banana Ice. "Nobody fuckin' informed me!" He was wearing a silver and blue tye dye blazer with a white button-down shirt, a pale blue tie, and a thick gold chain down his neck. He represented Athenia, Glorgia, United Emirates of Chinta.

"Oh yeah. That's going to be discussed in a later broadcast," Banana Ice said as he looked at Bruce Ice.

"Well, we should have prepared that AHEAD of time! How the hell am I going to concentrate? I have questions goddammit!" Bruce Ice shouted as he hammer fisted the desk with his right paw.

"Ay, merci, Bruce Ice, ay. Some of us would like to introduce ourselves. You sort of cut me off, as you say. Do you mind?!" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas asked in her heavy French accent as she narrowed her brownish hazel eyes that had heavy mascara on the lashes at him. When wasn't that woman picture-perfect? She wore a pure white pearl necklace, a blue blouse with brownish gold speckles on it, and her sapphire wedding ring on the ring finger of her left paw. Her fur was brushed to perfection. She represented France.

"ABSOLUTELY! BUT THE SHOW MUST GO ON! Back to you, Gloria Balalalala-lalalalalas," Bruce Ice tried to say.

"Lala lala lala lalalas," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas corrected him. "Ay. You English-speaking bears drive me crazy, I swear. But yes, I am Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, wife of Skipper Balalalalalalalalalas and mother of Francesca Asiago Cheese, Victoria Filetmignon, and... Banana Ice? When did my son change his name to that monstrosity? This is news to me, Banana Ice," she said as she yanked a few of his ear rings with her right paw and stared at the camera.

"Yeeeeeooooooooow! That's in a later story as well, Mother Dearest," Banana Ice said as he winced in pain. "Ooooowwwww!!!" He gently rubbed his left paw to gently ease her paw off of his ear.

"THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISCUSSED AHEAD OF TIME!" Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas and Bruce Ice yelled as they stared daggers at Banana Ice.

"Sorry! We didn't have time until now! I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Banana Ice said to them with wide eyes before he turned back to the camera. "Besides, there are much more pressing matters to discuss than my existence right now."

"Very true," Bruce Ice said before he cleared his throat. "Hello, PBC viewers, I am Bruce Ice, husband of Megara Ice, daughter of Abigail Ice and three other female cubs that shall not be named because they are minors. This is a no-minor broadcast!"

Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets, and a new golden bear named Penn made growls and nods of agreement.

"I COULD NOT AGREE MORE! NO MINORS SHALL EVER PARTICIPATE IN THE PLANETARY BROADCASTING CORPORATION NEWS REPORTS EVER. IT WILL BE RARE THAT THEY ARE EVEN FEATURED, MUCH LESS TELLING NEWS ON THIS ESTEEMED NETWORK. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, I FINALLY GET TO SAY MY PEACE. It only took a DAY. The hell is wrong with this planet?! I'm Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets formerly known as Prince. Ahahahaha! No really. "Purple Rain" was my song. Some asshole from America stole my song. Bastard." Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets was wearing only a black tie and a black spiked color. He represented the Greek region of Hades.

Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, Bruce Ice, Penn, Chrissy, and all of her glorious titles chuckled.

"Ahem. I was formerly known as Prince Oliver, Werewolf of London, but as you all know, if you watch this network AT ALL, London is literally burning in Hell right now. That's why a bunch of my crew and I, no seriously, I stuffed over 10,000 of us on that spaceship. When we all exited the ship, it looked like a multitude of clowns coming out of a car. It was RIDICULOUS!" His greenish gray eyes and mouth were wide as he spoke.

"I can vogue for that," Chrissy, babybaby said on a separate green screen as she wore a black and white maid outfit, a black collar with a gold bell in the front, black fishnet stockings, and black high heels. Her black and gray fur was brushed perfectly.

The green screen showed the footage of her, 44 wolf puppies, Master wearing a black and silver fox fur, EliEli: Mistress of the United Planets, Catman, Stan Doe, the entire cast of the PeeWee Herman show, 300 assorted cats, 400 dalmatians, 500 other assorted dogs, 600 goats, 700 sheep, the Chinaman from the pranking soundboard, the Vietman from the pranking soundboard, an android popularly known as Mark Fuckerberg, Max Headroom, 209 fat bears of all colors, and countless clowns, including Ronald McDonald and Pennywise the Dancing Clown, burst from that ship. How did they fit?

"Excuse me. I normally wear a black wig to further accentuate my head, but it's entirely too fucking hot on this planet for that shit right now. Summer everywhere in the last few galaxies has been ABSOLUTELY BARBARIC!" Chrissy, babydoll with all glorious titles spoke as she stared directly at the camera with her kaleidoscopic greenish yellowish hazel eyes.

Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, Bruce Ice, and Penn laughed and nodded with agreement.

"Hahahahahaha!!!! All right. Hello Everybody, as if the news isn't crazy enough without the first bit of news we heard today, I'm Penn with Off Grid Desert Farming with Penn and Alexia doing a GUEST appearance on the Planetary Broadcasting Corporation news network to explain what is actually going on behind the jab, mandates, checkpoints, and why these space ass... aliens are pushing it so hard among all the planets," Penn spoke with his southern accent. He was a golden bear with serious blue eyes. His fur was brushed perfectly as well. He looked to be the same age as Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, but in reality, she was much older. (She looked much younger than she was and gave that trait to all of her children.) He was wearing a navy blue shirt and his platinum wedding ring.

Penn continued to speak, "Sorry about delaying our news report on August 11, 2021 until now. The powers that be were downloading contact-tracing software to everyone's electrical devices. They are used to track and control jabbed people. They are also used as weapons against you if they decide to make it self-destruct in T minus five seconds. The jabbed are automatically being downloaded into. The patent number that has been downloaded into their brains is 060606. The jabbed are now (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying Five GEEGEEGEE) repeater towers. They are the temples made without hands. But SO ARE YOU. The Creator made the unjabbed without hands. More news will come on this topic. Please watch my news broadcasts on the 900 Club, Stumble.cahm, BiteChew.cahm, and Facefail.cahm. Thank you for listening."

"Yes. Thank you for sharing, Penn. Finally, some useful stuff this morning," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets.

Blinky blinked. Count Vanilla growled Penn's message in his own words and spoke Penn's references verbatim in bear growl language to the bears.

"You have the choice on which side you take. I, personally, like to watch sports for hours, sing the American National Anthem, drive Captain America's speedboat, fly in my Batbearmobile, read books about everything including religious texts... from all sides. I personally like to debunk the arguments of all pastors on TV.... except Penn. Penn is solid. He is speaking correctly on the Federal Emergency Medical Assimilations news and what they are doing to us PATRIOTS!" Banana Ice grabbed the desk tightly with his paws and leaned forward for a moment before he sat back down and began to speak calmly. "Also, Austria Australia have cracked down on the unjabbed and stripping their rights away as they speak."

Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas translated Banana Ice's message in French. She added more, and Bruce and Banana Ice worked together to translate her message.

"In France, they are looking for the unjabbed and are trying to silence them with blowdarts," Bruce Ice said.

"League of Legends is a true story. Teemo, Trastana, and Lala are among us. They are shooting the (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying PLAGUE MEDICINE) and I mean that in the most sarcastic way. They are inhuman. They are (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying Communal Toilets)," Banana Ice said.

"No one wants to hear the Truth," Penn said. "People are talking about the CDPCP Captain Planet American shielding that separates the jabbed from the unjabbed. They're real. They're coming and coming fast! This is not a joke. This is real. I repeat. This is real. Banana Ice said correctly that Austria Australia has started to crack down on us unjabbed. They have come door-to-door asking for papers just like the Germans did to the (encrypted voice by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying JuJubes) back in the 1940s on Earth and God Knows Where Else. Then if you don't have papers, they take you away to some throwaway galaxy where no one can find you."

"IT'S UNAMERICAN! IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL! PATRIOTS MUST RESIST!" Blinky, Count Vanilla, Banana Ice, and Bruce Ice shouted.

Bears shouted in the background.

Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas spoke wildly in French. She spoke in English. "I'm just a messenger! I did not write these news!"

Penn spoke, "Read John 3:16. Read Psalm 91! That's what will save you! Stay strong. Do not get jabbed. Humble yourself. You know better than to take the (encrypted voice done by Chrissy, Encrypting Genius saying PLAGUE MEDICINE)! Amen!"

The screen switched to Chrissy and her glorious titles. A screen was scrolling with her titles. "Thank you, Penn, Banana and Bruce Ice, Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas, whoa! That name should be a title! Count Vanilla, Blinky, and last but not least, Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets for your news today. More will come after this short break."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

A video of Chrissy, her glorious titles, and her 46 wolf pups playing played for five minutes as an intermission. It was still entirely too fucking hot for her to wear the wig.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The camera then showed Chrissy, submissively and dutifully our reporter standing in front of a photo of Mars still without her wig.

"Hello Everybody, as I am forced to say on every broadcast in case you aren't informed, I'm Chrissy, babybaby, baby baby hit me baby one more time, not Aguilera. Ugh. My glorious title changes every minute, I swear. My Dom is a cruel jokester. But," Chrissy.... spoke before she started. "Let us get on with our next broadcast. Jaybird, a floating head on Mars-"

Banana Ice was beginning to crack up. Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas elbowed him hard with her right elbow.

"Ahem, yes," Chrissy, babybaby space reporter on live television said before she was trying not to laugh. "Jayhead from Mars would like to tell us about a new and upcoming screenplay author who is a lot like me, not he or it but maybe something in between. Jayhead! Excuse me Jaybird, how are you doing?"

Jaybird's bald floating face with thin brown eyebrows, hazel eyes, a distinct nose, and small lips was staring at us in front of a giant intergalactic "solar system" green screen. "I'm great. Thank you, Chrissy-," Jaybird said with a Cleveland, Ohio accent.

At this point, Bruce Ice busted up laughing. Banana Ice had completely lost it and started to hyperventilate while laughing. He was falling out of his chair. Count Vanilla stared at the camera and looked disturbed. Blinky looked confused and wanted to know what happened to the rest of Jaybird's body. Penn was smiling and suppressing laughter.

"Excuse me. What's so funny? I haven't even told the story yet," Jaybird asked.

Chrissy, baby master of laughter suppression said with a grin, "Excuse me, Banana and Bruce Ice! Do you MIND? Some of us..." she said as she involuntarily giggled. "Would like to hear the news today. Could you please be quiet?"

Banana Ice was rolling on the floor while his chest heaved as he laughed. He was wearing black dress pants and those godawful ridiculous banana rocket shoes. It's dangerous to only spend a minute shopping for new shoes. The shoes were firing off and making him scoot across the floor. Bruce Ice was falling out of his chair laughing. Penn was throwing his head back and laughing. Blinky and Count Vanilla were laughing hysterically as they watched Banana Ice jet across the floor as he laughed. Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets was laughing sheerly out of disbelief.

Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas was trying to talk over the laughter. "This is why you don't wear rocket shoes in a news broadcast. What a mockery of news journalism. Or was that his point?" Even she was trying not to laugh.

"I have no idea," Chrissy, baby giggles said as she was giggling. "I think that clip's going viral."

Jaybird's floating head was hysterically laughing. "Wow! That's the embodiment of space right there! Sci-Fi, eat your heart out. And here I thought robots writing movie scripts was hilarious. Shoot, the best form of entertainment is buying your children rocket shoes and making them laugh hysterically to see what happens."

Chrissy, baby mama giggles stickles crackalacka cracked up. "Yes. Wolf pups with rocket shoes flying around would be something," she said with more laughter. "Whoever he bought those shoes from is going to have a massive increase in sales."

Banana Ice was trying to calm down and turn his shoes off. "Sorry! I just don't understand what's going on right now."

"Does anybody?" Chrissy, babybaby with more questions than answers asked.

"I doubt it, but this upcoming AI script-" Jaybird was trying to say before he was rudely interrupted by Banana Ice's continued laughter and scooting across the floor with rocket shoes.

Seriously, why the fuck did he buy those?

"I need to mute that screen. I can't report like this," Chrissy baby drama queen said as she walked off the set for a second. "Zachary Girrafinakis, mute screen 1 please!"

Zachary Giraffinakis, my newly hired slave who happened to be good at working cameras, looked exactly like the American actor Zach Gallifinakis. But he was behind the scenes and was born and raised on the Green Planet. We really do live in an alternate reality. I allowed Chrissy, babywolfgirl bitch mama news reporter with 46 hungry pups to borrow him for this breaking news report. Zachary Giraffinakis kindly muted the screen.

But Banana Ice was mute laughing and trying to shut off his shoes with not much success. Bruce Ice was beating the desk and heaving with mute laughter. Blinky was crying as he blink-laughed. Count Vanilla was mute growling and mute laughing. Penn was wiping his eyes while mute laughing.

Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas was mute speaking. The closed caption said, "You have to excuse my son. His brain is malfunctioning. I don't know why it happened. He got that faulty brain mechanic from his papa."

Prince Oliver, Werewolf of the United Planets was mute laughing and wiping his eyes with his tie.

"Thank you, Zachary Giraffinakis, now we can continue this news broadcast. I'm telling you. Today's broadcast alone has been one big news blooper. It goes to show that the events of the multiverse truly have begun to mock the multiverse itself. Perplexing," Chrissy, amused babygirl newscaster spoke.

"Yes. Truly. And the AI movie script writer actually touches on that," Jaybird said with a chuckle. "Excuse me. I'm still trying to get over a ridiculous-looking bear scooting... hahaha across the floor with rocket shoes. I mean, who wears rocket shoes to a press conference? That's a great screenplay idea for the AI script writer! Haha! I have no idea if he wrote one like that yet."

"No idea," Chrissy, babygirl Wolf Mama still in disbelief said. "I don't think I'm ever going to get over this traumatic experience." She was giggling.

"Me neither. Someone has GOT to make a Sci-Fi movie with malfunctioning rocket shoes during a news broadcast. If you're watching this Bouregard, you need to calibrate the transcripts from this broadcast and MAKE THAT INTO A MOVIE!" Jaybird said with laughter.

"How would he do that?" Chrissy, perplexed babywolfmama asked.

"Well, it all started with Ross Godwing, who collaborated with Oscar the Grouch to come up with this Artifical Intelligence Unit, sort of like Spock from Star Trek, that could write scripts using an algorithm that pools lines from all Sci-Fi scripts that have ever even been thought of. One day, they sat near a computer, the AI unit was computing a script by putting its head through the computer screen. After about five minutes, the AI unit took its head out of the screen and spat out a script for an hour and a half long Sci-Fi movie. The movie was called Moonfall," Jaybird answered.

The screen then showed a poster with a space background with a large white moon in the center and rainbow-colored 1960s style font saying "Moonfall." Two brown bears were on either side of a small female red bear. They all wore white space helmets and gray spacesuits.

"Moonfall is about a... very strange space station that has three bears in it who are trying to survive. They are in a disjointed love triangle. The first male bear is named B, and he has green eyes that are crossed the whole time. He is the leader of the group. The female bear is named X, and she has gray dead eyes. She spends all of her title in front of a computer that talks to her in gibberish. The other male bear is slightly smaller and is named Ib, and his eyes are all black. He speaks mostly in gibberish. His favorite line is 'I want to stick my head in a telephone socket.'," Jaybird continued.

Chrissy, curious babywolfmama, nodded and spoke, "That sounds advanced for an AI unit. And that is very eye-opening to see the result of years of Sci-Fi script writing. And a lot of the best stuff comes from 60 years ago. I'll be daaaamned."

"Yes. When the Sesame street crew got together and read the script, they pissed themselves laughing," Jaybird said.

"I can imagine. Would you like to play some clips from the movie?" Chrissy, curious babywolfmamallama asked.

"Why sure!" Jaybird said before he spat out some film.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Moonfall (2021), Act 2 - Holy TIHS, bro!!!!

Some Sci-Fi rap music was playing in the background, and the main computer was spitting out lyrics.

"I don't give a fuck. I'm rich, bitch.

Three pods and a ship. I'm rich bitch.

Hit the bar and blow it up. I'm slick, bitch.

I don't give a fuck."

Then the song "Intergalactic Fanatic Scholastic" by Peter Whitey Parker and the Floating Clowns started to play. (It sounds like "Intergalactic" by Beastie Boys.)

While the computer spit out these lyrics,

"Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic

Intergalactic, planetary, planetary, intergalactic

A new born dimension, a new born dimension

A new born dimension"

"COMMA!" B shouted in a high-pitched nasally voice.

B and Ib started to dance wildly while shaking their fat bear asses on camera. B kept sticking his tongue in and out and poking himself in the stomach. There was text above B's head that said, "Yes. These are stage directions. I told this mother f%$#^@ to do it."

Ib started shaking wildly and yelled in a deep baritone voice similar to yoitssteve on Twitch.TV, "Radio Mania! Radio Mania!"

Then the computer imitated Peter Whitey Parker's voice verbatim. It sang while it showed Peter's face on the screen.

"Don't you tell me now to well smile

I'll make you stick it around worth your while

Beyond my numbers what you can dial

It's because maybe we're so versatile

Style, profile, I say

It back brings always me when I hear, "ooh, child!"

From Savannah River out to the Nile

I grind the marathon to the very last mile

Well, if you fondle me I feel reviled

People always sayin' my body is wild

Got you gall, got you guile

Walk with me I'm a grape-o-phile."

Clowns, Ib, B, X, and Peter danced.

Then the signal got interrupted.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Whoa! What the hell?!" Jaybird shouted.

"The transmission's been interrupted. What in the world is going on?!" Babywolfgirl Chrissy asked dramatically.

Banana Ice was mute-screaming. Count Vanilla was straightening his fur rapidly. Blinky was squirting eyedrops in his eyes. Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas was quickly redoing her make-up. Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets was gulping and staring at the camera as though he had seen a ghost. Penn was reading the King James Version of the Bible.

And Bruce Ice was mute-speaking and smiling. His closed caption said, "Thank Whoever interrupted that transmission. That was the worst movie I ever had the displeasure of seeing in my life."

Master then appeared on a screen by himself. He was dressed to the nines in fox furs and wolf tails. His aquamarine eyes, strong nose, full lips, and strong chin showed through his layers. Then he spoke in his deep voice, "Excuse the interruption, Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles. If I didn't know better, I would ask if you were a switch instead. But my point is, I need to announce that the Florida News Agency is no longer trendy."

"You are absolutely correct, Master. Thank you for the interruption," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said. "I'm as submissive as it gets, Master. I guarantee you that."

"I am well aware. Also, a fur gathering is occurring tomorrow at midnight. Be there, or be the Florida News Agency!" Master said with a chuckle.

Bruce Ice nodded, mute-laughed, and mute-spoke. His closed caption was, "Will do. I have thousands of dollars worth of furs to present at the event."

"Zachary Giraffinakis, please unmute that screen," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.

"Yes ma'am," he said as he unmuted the screen.

"Only thousands, Bruce Ice? Really? I have like a whole case worth of furs. I have spent tens of thousands on furs. You don't know brown bear privilege," Banana Ice said.

"He is correct. Banana Ice... I can't with this *ridiculous* name, my dear son, is the most entitled, spoiled, and submissive subby cubby in every galaxy. I'm his mother. I can vogue for that, but as I'm saying this, I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas spoke as she visibly shrugged.

Blinky, Count Vanilla, and Banana Ice shrugged. Bruce Ice scratched his head and looked at her with a puzzled look.

"Definitely proud. His title should be Prince Banana Ice," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets stated.

"Ashamed. The Lord doesn't award those who were spoiled here in this life. He values hard workers," Penn said.

"Actually. He's both," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas said flatly to Penn.

"Can you explain that to us, please?" Penn asked. "I'm very confused right now."

"Oui. While my husband and I are extremely wealthy, we definitely trained my son to be inquisitive and read as much as possible. We also instilled the value of having a lot of physical activity through rigorous training. He also was taught to be specialized in his craft," Gloria Balalalalalalalalalas said.

Prince Banana Ice smiled at the camera.

"Someone put a crown on his head, please," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.

"As a matter of fact, find a crown for Queen Gloria as well," Master spoke. "After all, a prince is not a prince without a queen."

"That is absolutely correct, Master," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.

"Hold the phone. If Prince Banana Ice and Queen Gloria exist, then technically Abigail Ice should be Princess Abigail Ice, Megara Ice should be Queen Megara Ice, and I should be King Bruce Ice," King Bruce Ice said.

"THAT IS A BRILLIANT OBSERVATION," Master and Chrissy spoke at the same time.

"Everyone. Our news anchors are now all royalty. We have Squire Blinky, Count Vanilla, Prince Banana Ice, Queen Gloria, King Bruce Ice, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets, and Pastor Penn," Chrissy, sub of many glorious titles said.

Squire Blinky smiled and blinked with excitement. Count Vanilla smiled. Prince Banana Ice smiled and blushed. Queen Gloria dramatically fanned herself with a shy smile. King Bruce Ice growled.

"Thank you, Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets said.

"Thank you. I appreciate your recognition of my being a pastor. I welcome the title, but I do not require to be called 'Pastor Penn.' I am forever humbled by the true royalty, my Lord Jesus Christ," Pastor Penn said.

"We have spoken! Can someone please get crowns, medals, and sashes for our anchors please?" Chrissy, sub with many glorious titles asked.

The backstage crew quickly rushed through the props.

"Thank you. And on that note, we will take a 15-minute commercial break," Chrissy, sub with many glorious titles spoke.

"Thank you. I need that in hopes of completing my broadcast," Jaybird said as his head took up the whole screen.

And Prince Banana Ice started laughing uncontrollably again over some elevator music that was playing to ease into the commercial break.

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madara-fate · 4 years

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(same anon as the one who mentioned the shadow kagé thing) So I re read those chapters again and:

First of all, you said that "all signs point to the summit taking place before sarada was born". That can definetely NOT be the case because it's clear from the 5 kagé summit that all of them are more near to their 32 age appearance rather than 20/21 age appearance (wrinkles and all).

Then you said that "Sakura told sarada that Sasuke was on an important mission". This is what the mangapanda translation says, not the VIZ. When Sakura talked to young sarada (without glasses), she said, "he's out doing really important work. He'll be home once it's completed" in the VIZ translation. Similarly even when talking to sarada with glasses (sarada's probably 8 or something there because she's then shown to be at the academy), Sakura says, "he can't right away because he's doing very difficult work" in the VIZ translation.

Then you said, "he only received that mission during the summit". Technically, Sasuke doesn't receive "missions" since he's not a ninja anymore. In the VIZ version of the 5 kagé meeting, Sasuke says, "treat my movements as a top secret mission" rather than mangapanda's "make this a top secret mission if you will."

So there is no proof that the summit took place before Sasuke left for his years long work. On the contrary, judging from how kishi drew their faces that are more closer to their 32 year old selfs, it's pretty clear that the summit took place when Sarada is wearing glasses. I'd also like to point out how the second time Sakura explained that Sasuke is doing very difficult work, Sakura has long hair while in the summit, Sakura has short hair which means that the summit happened after all the scenes in sarada's flashbacks. So all those times Sakura told sarada about sasuke's work, she could only be pointing to sasuke's work as shadow kagé since the meeting never took place until after that and Sasuke never brought up the otsutsuki topic.

First of all, you said that "all signs point to the summit taking place before Sarada was born". That can definitely NOT be the case because it's clear from the 5 Kagé summit that all of them are more near to their 32 age appearance rather than 20/21 age appearance (wrinkles and all).

You are absolutely right there. What I should have said was - All signs point towards the Summit taking place when Sarada was still in her infancy, before she started wearing glasses. That has always been my main point, and saying that it should have taken place before she was born was my mistake.

Then you said that "Sakura told Sarada that Sasuke was on an important mission". This is what the MangaPanda translation says, not the VIZ. When Sakura talked to young Sarada (without glasses), she said, "he's out doing really important work. He'll be home once it's completed" in the VIZ translation. Similarly even when talking to Sarada with glasses (Sarada's probably 8 or something there because she's then shown to be at the academy), Sakura says, "he can't right away because he's doing very difficult work" in the VIZ translation.

Right, and even without the “mission” wording, how little sense would it have made for Sakura to have not been referring to Sasuke’s Kaguya mission, when that was literally the only reason given for Sasuke’s absence throughout the entirety of Gaiden? The only “really important work” that was ever revealed to us with regards to Sasuke during this period, was his mission to find Kaguya’s traces, that’s it. So then why on Earth would Sakura suddenly be referring to some other random but apparently equally important work of Sasuke’s, when this was never even slightly hinted at? That wouldn’t make any narrative sense at all. Why would the story reveal Sasuke’s Kaguya mission as the sole reason for Sasuke’s absence, and then suddenly have Sakura refer to another reason for his absence during the flashback? One that was never elaborated on or mentioned again? She wouldn’t. It would only make sense for Sakura to have been referring to Sasuke’s Kaguya mission, because that’s the only reason we were given for his absence. During this flashback, Sakura signified how Sasuke was gone for their sake, which falls in line with what he said during the Summit about wanting the future of the village to stay bright. This is in direct continuity with the Summit, and is another point which indicates not only that Sakura was referring to the Kaguya mission, but also that the Sakura and Sarada flashback happened after the Summit. I’ll talk about another point of continuity with the Summit later on, which will again serve to further emphasise what I’m saying.

Then you said, "he only received that mission during the summit". Technically, Sasuke doesn't receive "missions" since he's not a ninja anymore. In the VIZ version of the 5 Kagé meeting, Sasuke says, "treat my movements as a top secret mission" rather than MangaPanda's "make this a top secret mission if you will."

Okay, but what does this even prove? What does this refute? Regardless of whether Sasuke “received” the mission, or he took on the mission of his own accord, the fact remains the same - Sasuke was on a mission, so I really don't see what you’re trying to prove with this.

So there is no proof that the summit took place before Sasuke left for his years long work. On the contrary, judging from how Kishi drew their faces that are more closer to their 32 year old selfs, it's pretty clear that the summit took place when Sarada is wearing glasses.

Whether or not the Summit took place before Sasuke’s years long work is irrelevant. My point is that the Summit had to have taken place before the scene of the flashback between Sakura and Sarada, because it wouldn’t make any narrative sense otherwise. And no, it’s not pretty clear at all that the Summit took place when Sarada was already wearing glasses. During Chapter 700+4, Naruto explicitly said that Sasuke had been away travelling this whole time/forever, depending on which translation you want to use. This indicates that Sasuke was gone the whole time like Naruto said, and that he did not return once or twice for anything like the Kage Summit when Sarada was maybe 8 years old like you predicted, because Naruto would have said something about that there. Instead, he clarified in no uncertain terms, that Sasuke was gone the whole time; he was constantly away. Yet another point which indicates that the Summit took place before the Sakura and Sarada flashback.

I'd also like to point out how the second time Sakura explained that Sasuke is doing very difficult work, Sakura has long hair while in the summit, Sakura has short hair which means that the summit happened after all the scenes in Sarada's flashbacks. So all those times Sakura told Sarada about Sasuke's work, she could only be pointing to Sasuke's work as shadow Kagé since the meeting never took place until after that and Sasuke never brought up the Otsutsuki topic.

Your point about the length of Sakura’s hair doesn’t explain anything. People cut their hair, and Sakura’s has changed lengths multiple times over the course of the series. Its length is not any form of concrete evidence to suggest the chronology of events. Secondly, I highly doubt that Sasuke wouldn’t mention the Otsutsuki topic to his own wife. Sakura obviously knew the details of what he was doing, but she was just keeping them confidential, as she was instructed to do during the Kage Summit. This is the other bit of continuity with the Summit that I had alluded to earlier, and is yet another piece of evidence to prove that the flashbacks with Sarada took place after the Summit, because Sakura was following the instructions that she was given during said meeting.

#Sasuke Uchiha #Sarada Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #sasusaku #Naruto Gaiden

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thegnosticdread · 4 years

Text

Adam, Lilith, & Eve

Originally posted on: https://thegnosticdread.com/adam-lilith-eve/

The story of Adam & Eve is probably one of the most well known stories in history thanks to the widespread influence of Judeo-Christian culture. It’s a tale of the first man and woman whom all of humanity descends from according to the Biblical myth. In this post, I will use the Biblical and Gnostic traditions as well as sources beyond scripture to explain the symbolic significance of each of these characters as well as a character that is less known but has gained more popularity in recent times, Lilith.

Adam

Adam represents the Divine Masculine and Primordial Man, as well as the entirety of the human race depending on the context. For example, in Genesis 1:26-27 –

“Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth. God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.”

The Hebrew word that is translated to “humankind” above is אָדָם “adam”, showing that Adam in this sense refers to the human race as a whole, both male and female being created together from the beginning. The verse also says that the human race, both men and women, were created in the image of the Divine. Therefore, the Divine must contain both masculine and feminine energies. Perfectly balanced. As all things should be. This verse also confirms that the human race has dominion over all the Earth. Therefore, the logical conclusion is that humanity, both men and women, are indeed God (Goddess) manifested into the physical. This is supported by many traditions including the Qur’an:

“Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority.” – al-Qur’an 2:30 “We said to the angels, “Prostrate before Adam”; so they prostrated…”

– al-Qur’an 2:34

Many use Genesis 1:26-27 as proof that Adam (the first man) indeed had a wife that was created at the same time as him, namely, Lilith in contrast to Eve who was created later from Adam’s rib. However, this is either a misunderstanding or a misrepresentation of the source material. I will explain Lilith’s origin later in her section. For now, we will turn to the Gnostic tradition concerning the origin of Adam.

In the Gnostic scriptures, Adam is a personified principle that existed first within the Pleroma as pure mind distinct from matter and emanating from the Monad. This pure mind represented the human Reason conceived as the World-Soul (Anima mundi). This is similar to the concept of Adam Kadmon in Kabbalah. To summarize the Gnostic myths, they go on to tell about how Yaldabaoth (Yahweh or “God” from the Old Testament) and his Archons desired to create a being in the image of themselves and in the image of the original Adam within the Pleroma. When the formation of the body was complete, it was lifeless, for Yaldabaoth nor the Archons had the power to give the body life on their own. Yaldabaoth then took power he had stolen from his mother Sophia (the principle of Divine Wisdom and the principle of the Divine Feminine) and breathed it into the lifeless shell that they called “Adam”. When they had done this, Adam sprang to life. This caused Yaldabaoth and his Archons to become jealous, for them being born of ignorance, they had not realized that they had surrendered their stolen power to Adam, who was now luminous and more intelligent than them. This caused the Archons to throw Adam into the darkest depths of matter. It would later take Eve to raise Adam up out of darkness.

Lilith

The Hebrew word

לִּילִית

“lilith” appears only once in the Bible, in the Book of Isaiah 34:14 –

“Wild animals and wild dogs will congregate there; wild goats will bleat to one another. Yes, nocturnal animals will rest there and make for themselves a nest.”

The translators of the New English Translation translate “Lilith” to mean “nocturnal animals” and had this to say in their notes –

“The precise meaning of לִּילִית (lilit) is unclear, though in this context the word certainly refers to some type of wild animal or bird. The word appears to be related to לַיְלָה (laylah, “night”). Some interpret it as the name of a female night demon, on the basis of an apparent Akkadian cognate used as the name of a demon. Later Jewish legends also identified Lilith as a demon.”

It’s true indeed that the Akkadian language did have a similar word to Lilith – “Lilu” – and it is debated if the two words are cognates or related. However, it should be noted that Lilu in the Akkadian language is a masculine word, not feminine, and seems to be a general term for “demon”. In the Sumerian king list, the father of Gilgamesh is said to be a lilu. Referring back to the verse in Isaiah, it would make sense that it is referring to some type of wild animal or bird based on the fact the verses immediately before and following verse 14 are referring to animals –

“Her fortresses will be overgrown with thorns; thickets and weeds will grow in her fortified cities. Jackals will settle there; ostriches will live there.” – Isaiah 34:13 “Owls will make nests and lay eggs there; they will hatch them and protect them. Yes, hawks will gather there, each with its mate. Carefully read the scroll of the Lord! Not one of these creatures will be missing, none will lack a mate. For the Lord has issued the decree, and his own spirit gathers them. He assigns them their allotment; he measures out their assigned place. They will live there permanently; they will settle in it through successive generations.”

– Isaiah 34:15-17

The evidence doesn’t support the idea that Lilith was taken or censored out of the Bible to hide the fact that she was Adam’s first wife, as she does not appear in any Biblical apocrypha works, does not appear in any pseudepigrapha works from the Biblical period, is not mentioned in any of the gospels, and she does not appear in any of the Gnostic text from the Nag Hammadi Library, all text dating from a range of the 7th Century BCE to the 2nd Century CE. In Jewish tradition dating from the 6th century CE, Lilith is mentioned in three places within the Babylonian Talmud. Though she is not mentioned as being the wife of Adam, the text does seem to suggest she was a demon. However, it’s likely this view may have been established centuries later than when any of the previous biblical and deuterocanonical text were written and be based on the idea of the Akkadian word Lilu meaning demon.The earliest text referring to Lilith as the first wife of Adam comes from the medieval text titled The Alphabet of ben Sirach which scholars date as being written anywhere between 700 and 1000 CE. This work however was never understood as or treated as revealed or inspired scripture, rather the work was written and treated as a satire. It is from within this text alone that we are told the story of Lilith being Adam’s first wife who refused to submit to her husband.

“While God created Adam, who was alone, He said, ‘It is not good for man to be alone’ (Genesis 2:18). He also created a woman, from the earth, as He had created Adam himself, and called her Lilith. Adam and Lilith immediately began to fight. She said, ‘I will not lie below,’ and he said, ‘I will not lie beneath you, but only on top. For you are fit only to be in the bottom position, while I am to be the superior one.’ Lilith responded, ‘We are equal to each other inasmuch as we were both created from the earth.’ But they would not listen to one another. When Lilith saw this, she pronounced the Ineffable Name and flew away into the air.”

– The Alphabet of ben Sirach, fifth response to King Nebuchadnezzar.

Because of Lilith refusing to submit to Adam based on the idea that she was his equal, Lilith is sometimes exalted as a women’s empowerment or feminist icon. However, it should be noted and considered that the rest of the text goes on to describe Lilith as a demoness who terrorizes pregnant women, fornicates with demons, and murders infants. The work certainly does not paint a picture of Lilith being an ally to women. As the text is indeed a work of satire, it should also be considered that the text should not be taken too seriously in it’s treatment of Adam and Lilith. To the Gnostics, Adam and his wife Eve were seen as equals, and Eve especially was given high honor as she was responsible for Adam’s awakening.

Eve

Eve represents the Divine Feminine and is the archetype Mother of all Life. She is also responsible for Adam’s (humanity’s) awakening to their true Divine Self. As the daughter of or even a manifestation of Sophia, it was Eve who brought forth the life giving Light from the upper realms of the Pleroma into the darkness of matter so that Adam (humanity) can see. Upon seeing Adam cast in darkness by the Archons, Sophia sent her daughter Eve (also called Zoe which means “life”) to be a help and instructor to Adam and to reveal to him his true Divine nature and how to ascend back into the Pleroma from where his Spirit (the breath of life that was breathed into him) came. Eve then became hidden within Adam so that Yaldabaoth and his Archons would not be aware of her. While Adam laid dormant in the darkness he was thrown in, Eve spoke to him from within and said “Adam! Come alive! Arise upon the Earth!” Adam then sprang to life once again, and upon seeing the form of Eve said “You shall be called ‘Mother of the Living’. For it is you who have given me life.”While the Biblical text says that Eve was created from the rib of Adam, the Gnostic text demonstrates that this was a lie told in order to suppress the Divine Feminine principle and it’s role.

“Then the authorities were informed that their modeled form was alive and had arisen, and they were greatly troubled. They sent seven archangels to see what had happened. They came to Adam. When they saw Eve talking to him, they said to one another, “What sort of thing is this luminous woman? For she resembles that likeness which appeared to us in the light. Now come, let us lay hold of her and cast her seed into her, so that when she becomes soiled she may not be able to ascend into her light. Rather, those whom she bears will be under our charge. But let us not tell Adam, for he is not one of us. Rather let us bring a deep sleep over him. And let us instruct him in his sleep to the effect that she came from his rib, in order that his wife may obey, and he may be lord over her.”

Then Eve, being a force, laughed at their decision. She put mist into their eyes and secretly left her likeness with Adam.”

– On the Origin of the World

Having slipped away to be alone in the Garden of Eden, Eve was approached by the Serpent, though the exchange in the Gnostic texts is slightly different than the biblical version.

“And when he saw the likeness of their mother Eve he said to her, “What did God say to you? Was it ‘Do not eat from the tree of knowledge’?” She said, “He said not only, ‘Do not eat from it’, but, ‘Do not touch it, lest you die.'” He said to her, “Do not be afraid. In death you shall not die. For he knows that when you eat from it, your intellect will become sober and you will come to be like gods, recognizing the difference that obtains between evil men and good ones. Indeed, it was in jealousy that he said this to you, so that you would not eat from it.” Now Eve had confidence in the words of the instructor. She gazed at the tree and saw that it was beautiful and appetizing, and liked it; she took some of its fruit and ate it; and she gave some also to her husband, and he too ate it. Then their intellect became open. For when they had eaten, the light of knowledge had shone upon them.”

– On the Origin of the World

As you can see, Eve was Adam’s (and therefore, humanity’s) first Teacher, raising Adam up from the darkness of ignorance into the Light of Knowledge. She is also humanity’s first Mother, and therefore embodies the archetype of the Great Matriarch. Eve should never be thought of as being naive, submissive, or the blame for the Fall of Man in the way the Judeo-Christian religions have treated her with their Bible. It’s actually quite the opposite, and she should be honored as the Raising Up of Man. The Gnostics have always felt that we are greatly indebted to the Original Woman, who embodies the archetype of Sophia (Wisdom).To read the Gnostic text for yourself, check out

On the Origin of the World

& The Apocryphon of John

An excerpt of The Alphabet of ben Sirach concerning Lilith is on Wikipedia.

Peace, Love, & Balance

#gnosticism #hermeticism #spirituality #knowledgeofself #lefthandpath #thegnosticdread #alchemy #astrology #theurgy #magick #divination #tarot #tantra #yoga

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bondsmagii · 6 years

Note

ratthew my dude, how did you figure out you had adhd? or what are some things you do that are def bcs of ur adhd? my fam wants to get me diagnosed to help me out but i don't wanna lose money if it turns out i'm just lazy and generally inattentive, so idk?

funnily enough, feeling like you’re “just lazy and inattentive” is really common when you have ADHD lmao, genuinely I thought I was “just lazy” for years (and so did everyone else, so that was fun). I mean admittedly I did have a bad procrastination habit that I had to work on which was its own issue, but there are other things totally beyond my control that are definitely ADHD. I can throw down some of the things I believe are strictly ADHD, though bear in mind there’s a lot of different ways it can manifest so it might be different for you. (it also manifests differently in adults living adult lives [i.e., in work rather than in schooling], and minors/adults in educational settings [i.e., school or uni], so if you’re below 18 – especially if significantly so – remember you might have very different symptoms.) however some of these might sound familiar.

seems obvious but: my attention span can be shit. I mean I physically cannot concentrate on anything for longer than a few seconds. even when I try, I just can’t. it’s not a case of “well just sit down and concentrate” – I can’t. brain just will not work.

on the other extreme, my attention span can be incredible, when focusing on something that really grabs me. I can concentrate on it for hours and hours, and not notice any outside distractions. this can be very useful, but it’s also lead to me burning food or running out of time for others things more than once.

a lesser known one: my sleep schedule is fucked. I’m just completely off a “normal” schedule. I sleep best between 6-7am to 12-1pm, which is apparently a super common slot for people with ADHD.

sometimes I’m so full of energy that it’s painful. I feel wired and literally bounce around where I’m sitting. when this happens I literally have to go out and vigorously exercise else it’s unbearable.

frequently I find myself hearing things but not taking them in. I’ll act like I did because I heard it, honest, but the words are somehow translated into nonsense by the time it reaches my conscious thoughts. I won’t have taken in any information at all.

if thoughts come into my head I’ll have to say them then and there. it’s an impulse thing (I just don’t think, I say) but also a case of I might forget it if I don’t say it. I try not to because it leads to me interrupting people which is rude, but sometimes I genuinely can’t help it.

sometimes I just. don’t shut up. I’ll get talking about a subject – usually something I’m interested in or something I know a lot about – and I’ll just basically lecture for ages. it’s the worst sometimes because I know I’m boring people and I can feel it, but I can’t stop lmao. there are certain things that cannot be brought up around me because I’ll just deliver a spoken 700 page book.

my sense of time is fucked. like I have no problem knowing what time it is or what time I need to be at a place at, but I’m often late or cutting it very close. I also have no idea of when things happened. two weeks ago? three years? an hour? when I was 9? who knows man.

I sit strangely on things (including things Not For Sitting) and no matter how short of a time period I’m there, I’ll keep swapping positions.

I can spend an obnoxiously long time doing nothing, or something that may as well be nothing. I can’t do the 50 things I need to do to be a Functional Adult that day, but look! I’ve perfectly flattened this piece of crumpled aluminium kitchen foil.

these are the things that I know are due mostly, if not entirely, to ADHD. honestly it’s. it’s really something.

#anon #asks

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oc-tipstricksandreviews · 5 years

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Can you review my OC? Thank you.

Original. It follows a group of agents in Skotos, a village mostly populated with people who have been wronged by humanity. (It has become a haven for those types of people after people discovering it by pure luck + technology). One day, while Skotos agents were doing their thing (school and house visits, assemblies, online posting, whipping out bells and shouting, etc) and trying (keyword: trying) to educate people about the horrible things they were doing and why they should stop it, they discovered this organization about the Angels. (They were trying to convince everyone to stop what they were doing, but most of them refused to listen and called the agents names. One of the agents found out that the treatment was because of an organization called the Angels through questioning various of the villagers. The Angels apparently originated from the internet and formed an organization about their beliefs over time). The Angels were trying to promote humanity’s sick things by saying that the victims deserved to be mistreated and even insisted that not only that humanity should not show pity for the victims, but they should also even treat the victims more harshly. To counter this, the head elder of Skotos formed a team of Skotos agents to shut down the Angels (AKA kill all of them since none of them could listen to reason and almost everyone had been brainwashed by their propaganda), but the Angels wiped them out. This continued down the line, through generation and generation and the story takes place where “Squad I” is sent out to hopefully stop the Angels. My OC is in Squad I.

Aarav Kumar

Name: Cassius Kumar

Inspiration: Gaius Cassius Longinus, Judas Iscariot, Satan, Adolf Hitler, and Kamui Gakupo.

Age: 22

Birthplace: A village named Angeli. Angeli’s Latin for Angel, which ties into the expectations it has for its citizens. If they sin, said villager must repent. If they do not repent, they get moved to the horse stables and/or banished to die a slow and painful death. Meanwhile, if their family sticks with them, they are executed. The system is pretty twisted but it’s an exaggerated version of the high expectations people have for each other and the consequences that said people face when expectations aren’t met (not to mention the number of violence humans exercise on a daily basis).

Sexuality: Asexual Demiromantic

Crush: N/A

Looks: He has light brown skin, sable hair, and sapphire-blue eyes. He has some acne on his forehead, though some of it is hidden by his bangs. He also has wrinkles on his forehead and his hands. He is 5'11 and weighs 120 lbs (he’s supposed to be underweight). He wears a long-sleeved black shirt with black pants and black leather shoes. His cloak can somewhat be compared to that of a nun’s dress, except that it is halfway cut open in the front, and he, of course, doesn’t wear a veil. (He’s a priest of a made-up religion).

Abilities/Powers: Every human (in this world) has two special abilities (no one in this world has been born with more or less abilities, although there is a drug that can permanently take away your abilities). One of them (the first of which is the same for everyone) is awakened at birth, and the other is awakened (or rather, it just appears when said person turns 21) when they turn 21 (in this case, Cassius has “awakened” the two of them). The 1st power is the ability to hear any language and have it translated into your own when it reaches your ears. This excludes phrases that are meant to be said in the original language, names, and curse words (the last reason is to provide plucky comic relief). The first ability also rewinds the grammatical structure of a sentence that someone says to fit your language, as well as mess with your eyesight so words written in a different language will appear as if they were written in your language. The second power that Cassius possesses of is kind of strange: He reads a passage from the Babonian Scriptures (the Babonian Scriptures are still a work in process for Babo. Right now, there are 1,000 pages, 700 which are filled with him punishing random people) and whoever his gaze is fixated upon will have what he describes happen to him/her (for this to work, the Babonian scriptures must be whole- same book cover, same pages, same text. If a requirement is not met, then it does not work). However, even if this power seems overpowered, it does have its drawbacks: If he messes up on a word, his power won’t work (the thing he’s trying to do to his enemies will instead happen to him); If he can’t speak, his power won’t work; and his power can’t reach those close to him (he knows because he tried to kill a rabbit, but it got away since it always stayed within the 20 feet blind-spot that his power has) because Babo wanted Cassius to develop fighting strategies and to not rely on his power too much (he gave Cassius a blindspot). The quote he reads also is limited to that of the Babonian Scriptures, and it won’t work without his eyes.

Strengths: He is intelligent, calm and wary of others and is a careful judge of character. He (most of the time) knows what people to trust and what people to avoid. He also communicates with people with apparent “ease,” though he is terrified of humans on the inside. However, sometimes this shows through his constant habit of not meeting the eyes of someone he talks with. Another strength of his is that he’s (usually) very determined and hardworking when it comes to achieving something that he wants.

Weaknesses: He is a dirty coward, and would gladly throw you under the bus if it meant saving himself even if you saved his life 2 seconds before. He is also not very physically fit, so it is easy to crush him and outrank him in terms of physical strength, as well as going crazy (an exaggeration) when he’s not in control of the situation presented to him.

Family: Prisha Kumar (mother, alive) and Indranil Kumar (father, alive). They both love him but they cannot communicate because if they communicated with a sinner, they would be executed. Prisha loved Cassius, but her way of showing love was letting him figure out things for himself and spanking him when he got a problem wrong. In his childhood, Cassius saw her as a dictator; however, when he matured, he began to love her when he saw the long-term lasting effects that her discipline had had on him. (There’s tricky wording with the two “had"s right next to each other but I couldn’t find a substitute, partly because English isn’t my first language so my vocabulary needs expanding). When she noticed his lack of emotions (due to his shrunken amygdala, he experiences social emotions [shame, guilt, embarrassment, etc] on a much smaller scale), she shouted for joy knowing that she wouldn’t have to deal with a lot of crying when he entered his teenage years. When she found out that he had gotten raped, she grew infuriated but told Cassius to suck it up (after comforting him for about an hour) since she knew he would be seen as a sinner by the community. Indranil was a strict man, though he was a bit more lenient and caring than Prisha. He took the main part in raising Cassius, teaching him about the world and the behavior that he should act in. He also believed that the conclusion to major problems could not end without bloodshed and taught Cassius to defend himself. Indranil was always the parent to go to whenever Cassius was confused with something or needed an emotional bolster. That being said, though, Indranil still punished Cassius. When Cassius was little, he would take a ruler and smack the back of his legs with it. As he matured, Indranil changed tactic and made Cassius sit on a durian shell for a set period of time, with the time differentiating with the weight of the "crime” committed and Cassius’s age. Cassius fondly looked upon his father, though the times when his father was upset were the worst for him, as he hated the punishments his father would dole out. When Indranil found out that Cassius had little social emotions, he celebrated with Prisha and cried tears of joy. When he found out that Cassius had been raped, he did everything he could to distract Cassius from that incident for a few weeks.

Friends: He has two friends. One is a male witch whose name is Przemysl Slusarski and the other’s a Muslim named Ahang Arjani. He respects Ahang, and they both like to learn more about the other’s religion, create theories about life with each other, talk about their pasts, and brainstorm theories about which areas humanity could improve on. His relationship with Przemysl is filled with lots of bickering and Cassius smacking the other male for being an idiot (he’s the only one who could get under Cassius’s skin), but they are friends nevertheless.

Drive: He wants to kill Julius Green (his rapist) and educate humanity on their mistakes and why they should fix them.

Likes: Horror books, Books with deep meaning, Books in which humanity is wiped out, writing and reading in his “ego journal” (it’s a journal in which he writes his faults in to lower his ego. Unfortunately, it’s a double-edged sword as his self-esteem is not very high because of this) daily, playing chess, thinking about the happy times he spent with his loved ones, thinking about the happy times he’ll spend with them if they’re reunited, thinking about all the ways he can kill his rapist, and reassuring himself that he’ll be out of the treacherous world he lives in once he kills his rapist. He also has chocolate cravings (though he never indulges in them), which can show you his opinions about that particular food. Other additions to his likes are silence, knowledge, and inner peace along with sleep. Dislikes: Noise, deprivation of sleep, bumbling idiots who are good for nothing, overly happy people, intelligent people who he can’t manipulate, Angeli, the Angels, his rapist, and the world he lives in.

Personality: He is very shrewd and calm (most of the time), and oftentimes thinks before he acts/speaks. Because of his past, he enjoys manipulating the situation since it makes him feel like he’s in control. Due to his shrunken amygdala, he doesn’t show much emotion (hence social emotions that include but are not limited to guilt, shame, embarrassment are not present). He also has enormous amount of cowardice and the low self-esteem he has. However, although he enjoys using the situation to his advantage even if it costs a few lives in the process, please note that he does not take pleasure in anyone’s death (except his rapist). After all, major problems can’t be solved without bloodshed. He also likes to complain about what’s wrong about the world and himself, which was something he picked up after he was banished from Angeli. He doesn’t think it’ll do anything- he just does it to lower his ego. That’s only his exterior though- on the inside, he’s actually a very confused person who is drenched in sorrow every day and whose only driving point is the murder of his rapist. (At the beginning, he plans to suicide after he kills his rapist because he’s tired of the world he lives in and he wants to be reunited with his loved ones if possible).

Health: For his mental health, he is a bit suicidal since he is tired of the world he lives in and only lives for the demise of his rapist. He plans on suiciding after he kills his rapist. (No one except Ahang knows about his intentions since he isn’t open about it. Ahang opposes his thoughts and constantly throughout the book tries to convince him to do otherwise, but she understands where he’s coming from and why he feels that way). For physical health, he is a bit underweight due to starving himself after he arrived at a village called Skotos - if his rapist ever caught him again, he wanted to be unrecognizable, hence him growing out his hair, starving himself, and tanning to such an extreme extent that his health is in danger because of it. (He was originally very muscular so losing weight was the only option he could do to change his body shape). It was very difficult for him to lose weight since neglecting his bodily needs meant that an aching pain was in his stomach. His body eventually adjusted to the lack of food, but it took a long time and he still needs to eat. He did not train during the time, an after he fled Angeli he immediately decided that he wanted to do it. He did have some thoughts about why he had to change and not Julius, but he then realized that Julius would (probably) never change.

Fears: Genophobia- it reminds him of the time he was raped and it only “activates” when he’s in a sexual position/setting. Homophobia (the fear + aversion)- his rapist was homosexual so whenever he meets other homosexuals, he grows a bit wary and like his other phobia, it only “activates” when he’s around homosexuals. When people are discussing about them, he slowly walks out of the room or tries to ignore what they are saying by plugging his ears with ear plugs for as long as they talk about them.

Anthropophobia- this was from his past and the pasts of the people of Skotos, too. Ever since he heard such gruesome pasts, he had been growing afraid of people. This does not apply to villagers in Skotos or his loved ones, but outsiders tend to make him nervous. He only experiences it when he comes in contact with outsiders. Apeirophobia- Since humans in this world, if not killed or infected with disease have the potential to live forever, this phobia is actually valid. This again ties into his anthropophobia- he fears that if he can’t kill himself, no one kills him, and he doesn’t catch a disease, he’ll end up living forever and meet another homosexual rapist that’s interested in him. It affects him on a daily basis. Dementophobia- He’s afraid that if he ends up going insane, he’ll lose all sense and morale and he’ll start to act like the monsters he condemns. Never seeing his loved ones after death (I don’t think there’s a name for this fear)- he’s afraid that when he suicides, he’ll end up going separate places than his loved ones and he’ll never be able to speak to them. It affects him on a daily basis. (The Babonian Scriptures don’t say anything about suicide, but he’s afraid that if he or his loved ones lived lives that were very different, they will not end up in the same place. Said places are: Hell [for those who have lived lives filled with cruelty], Asylum [this is a place where souls who have lived neither explicitly good or bad lives go] and Heaven [self-explanatory at this point …] ).

Hobbies: Reading, writing, gathering information, and planning for his cause. Those aren’t really hobbies but they’re little things that he enjoys doing so …

Weapons: A kitchen knife he bought at the grocery store. Don’t ask.

Backstory: When he was 18, he was a senior at Angeli Academy (which was the main school for the city he and his family resided in, Angeli) and met someone named Julius Green, who he quickly became friends with thanks to Julius’ bubbly personality. Over the months, though, he noticed that Julius seemed obsessive over something, and it turns out that something was him. When Julius confessed to him, he declined politely, and they continued their friendship. Julius would sometimes get a little too touchy with Cassius, but he didn’t mind- after all, they were great friends. However, even though he was hiding it, Julius’s infatuation with Cassius never did go away, and when it resurfaced it was worse than ever after Cassius started a very deep relationship with a person named Junia. As soon as they made it official, it seemed like Cassius forgot all of Julius, only hanging out with her. They did almost everything they could together, and the times that Julius could squeeze in a chat with Cassius were filled with him talking about how great Junia was. Junia practically became his world. Junia helped him with everything, expanded his confidence, and made Cassius a better person overall in addition to giving Cassius little “donations” to help his struggling family. Julius, becoming jealous, started getting all the information he could on Cassius, grilling him on everything, and even stalking him secretly. He also snuck sneak-kisses when Cassius was asleep, putting his hands in places where they were not supposed to be as well as hoarding Cassius’s “junk” and making them his prized possessions. He confessed to him again but was declined, this time with Cassius telling him to “get help and make a life for yourself.” After Cassius said that statement and fled, he felt a sudden burst of guilt, but he didn’t turn back. (That incident later led to Julius pushing Junia off of the roof of a building. He did it in a way that was so discreet that no one could find out the person who did it. It didn’t matter if they found out that he was Junia’s murderer, anyway- he was the son of the mayor of Angeli, which meant that he was protected at all costs. When Cassius heard the news, he was mortified and cried all week. He didn’t come to Junia’s funeral- he didn’t get the invitation). A week later, Julius and Cassius were assigned to work on a group project together, along with some other students. The very next day, Julius came over to Cassius’s house to work on the project, and 2 hours were made up of them researching and planning what the poster would look like. As Julius was about to leave, Cassius joked and said to Julius, “Now, don’t obsess over me too much now. You need a life, and you need to get one quickly.” Julius was infuriated by Cassius’s comment and tried to fend off his emotions, but they got the better of him, thus driving him to sexually assault Cassius. When the process was finished, a naked Cassius was left on the floor, bruises all over his body and half of his hair lying on the floor, mentally scarred. For three weeks he remained silent, wanting to hide his past, but on one day of the third week, he snapped when he saw Julius being praised for his “purity and kindness.” Anguished, he cried out the events of what he called “the Incident” but he was greeted with the unkind responses of “you’re just jealous,” “f*ck off, you dirty homophobe” and “same-sex rape obviously isn’t real, stupid.” The villagers then proceeded to shun him because of his “lies” and no one would even acknowledge his existence, only communicating to him through their torturous and hate-filled letters (his family was separated from him, as per community law, and he was moved to reside in the horse stables). Those letters consisted of reasons why same-sex wasn’t real and called him out on the “lies” he had told. Every single letter sent a knife through his heart. One day, as he was walking in the streets, unnoticed, he saw Julius wandering around, lost in his dreams. At that point, Cassius could no longer contain his anger and slapped Julius, scraping his overgrown nails at his face and drawing blood. The council decided to kick him out of the village to die on his own. A few days after he was kicked out of Angeli, a ghostly figure who would come to be known as Jibaeja Babo (yes, that’s his name- the “babo” part would be there for the laughs) and asked him to become his “Jesus.” (What he wanted was a person to spread the Babonian religion [not to be confused with the Babylonians] and set an example for other future Babonians). It wasn’t that Cassius was special or anything- Jibaeja Babo was just looking for some vengeful souls and he happened to appear in front of Cassius. He promised Cassius food, shelter, and most important of all, vengeance … but only if Cassius became the religious leader of the Babonians. Cassius obviously agreed. After months of training (which basically was teaching Cassius about the ceremonies he had to do, familiarizing himself with the church, and answering questions about what the Babonian religion was about [ten answers wrong meant a bucket of boiling oil as punishment]), Cassius was given the title of High Priest by Jibaeja Babo was set out to teach people about the Babonian religion. (The Babonian religion basically focuses on how people are creatures of the light, which corrupts people into the horrifying beings that they are. The only way to cure themselves would be to accept the darkness within themselves and realize the wrongs of what they did, along with retaliating and punishing other wrongdoers who refused to turn. Of course, the leader of those retaliators would be Jibaeja Babo).

I don’t see anything wrong with your oc, the weight does seem super malnourished though. I understand you were going for that, though the lowest (that would basically be skin and bones) would have to be around 135, not much lower that that though.

Very interesting character and concept though!

#submitted review #general oc #submission

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urfavmurtad · 6 years

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Hi! in one of your posts u said: "infanticide, either female or otherwise, was not a common practice in pre-Islamic Arabia." can you please link me to some sources for that? i'd be forever grateful xxx

Anon I just finished one of my final papers and now I’m in a ranting mood and what a GREAT topic for ranting you have brought up. It’s a perfect example of how pre-Islamic Arabia has gotten shat upon for the better part of 1400 years because people, mostly their own descendants, have decided that they were all evil savages. Ask anyone who was raised Muslim, even if they’re no longer practicing, for a fact about “Jahiliyya” and you’ll be told “they buried their daughters”. I think pretty much everyone with even a month of Islamic education, myself included, has been taught that this was a routine and widespread occurrence that Islam stopped. Even non-Muslim people have probably heard of this.

It’s repeated so frequently that few people ever bother to look up where the accusation comes from and what evidence supports it, outside of Islamic texts. Let’s see. There wasn’t a ton of writing before the 7th century, but are there any surviving fragments that mention it? Hm… nope. Maybe it was mentioned in the works of some travelers or foreign writers? Not there, either. How about references to it from neighboring literate peoples, like the Byzantines and Persians, who saw the Arabs south of the Ghassanid/Lakhmid lands as backwards anyway and surely wouldn’t have minded reporting on such a practice? Or even the Christian Arabs to the immediate north? Nope. Well, the gender ratio must’ve been screwed up, isn’t there at least evidence of that? No? Fine, but surely there is at least some archaeological evidence of this? There must be lots of bones of female infants that people have uncovered, right? Uh… no.

I mean… okay, but there must be something, somewhere in the peninsula, from some time before Islam that mentions this, right?! Well, in fact there is one piece of pre-Islamic historical evidence that may concern this subject in the Arabian Peninsula. From between the fifth and the second century BC. In Yemen. It was not written in Arabic, as at the time Yemenis still spoke their own South Arabian language (called Sabaean). Nonetheless, let’s look at what the devious people of Jahiliyya were up to. It was codified that:

It is unlawful for anyone of the people of Matarat to kill his daughter.

…that, uh, it was illegal for people kill their daughters. Over 700 years before Mohammed was born. The linked article points out that the word can also be used to mean female relatives of any age, not only infant daughters, so it seems to have been a general prohibition against killing any female members of one’s family. There are fatwas throughout Islamic history that say the same thing, so we can’t even be generous and say “maybe the fact that this exists means it was socially acceptable beforehand?”.

So the only pre-Islamic evidence we have relating to any form of female-targeted killings comes from hundreds of years before Mohammed’s time, in a different part of Arabia, and it explicitly outlaws the practice. Now look, I’m not saying that infanticide didn’t happen at all, as it certainly did both in pre- and post-Islamic Arabia, in times of great hardship. But for such a supposedly widespread practice afflicting the entire race before Islam miraculously invented feminism and stopped it overnight, is it not a tad strange that no one of any civilization over the span of a thousand years bothered to mention it before Mohammed? And isn’t it kind of weird how there isn’t any record of even a single named person engaging in this practice outside of Islamic texts written in the 800s AD onwards, long after polytheism was no longer practiced? (And as I’ll show later, barely anyone is named even in those texts…)

At any rate, given that every single accusation about Arabs practicing widespread and specifically female infanticide comes from Islamic sources, I suppose we should look at what they actually say on this matter, even though Mohammed’s views of his contemporary polytheists were not exactly, shall we say, neutral and unbiased. I’ll explain why I find them unconvincing in terms of evidence that this was a common practice. This is going to be long! I’m putting this under a cut bc I think probably… five people in total on this entire site care??

Let’s deal with the Quran first. Infanticide is mentioned in four places: 81:8-9, 6:151, 17:31, and 16:58-59. 6:151 (it’s also mentioned a bit before that in surah 6 too but that one just says that it’s Allah’s will, so :|) and 17:31 do not mention daughters specifically and simply tell people not to kill their children because they are poor and starving and don’t have enough food to go around (which was the context of most cases of infanticide throughout world history).

So let’s take a look at the two that are actually about girls. The context of 16:58-59 is Mohammed complaining that the polytheists say that Allah has daughters (the trio of sister-goddesses popular in the Hijaz at the time). 16:58 has Mohammed saying that when one of the polytheists themselves finds out his newborn is a girl, he gets angry, and in 16:59 he has the imaginary polytheist wondering if he should bury the newborn “in the dust”. This is meant to convey that the polytheists disgrace Allah by giving him daughters when they don’t even want them themselves. It’s similar to 43:16-19, which does not mention infanticide but does complain that the polytheists claim that angels are female while being displeased with their own daughters.

(I feel like I’ve repeated this a thousand times, but Islamic sources themselves describe literate women, highly-revered female medics, successful female business owners, women in monogamous marriages, female clan leaders, women who inherited and distributed property, women who chose their own husbands, widows and single mothers working in respected professions, women who were on battlefields, and women leading thousands of troops in this era. The idea that non-Muslim Arabs in Mohammed’s time uniformly loathed women and routinely buried their own daughters is completely nonsensical even judging by solely Islamic sources and it’s absolutely bizarre that this perception still stands. Y’all they were a polygamous society and women seemed to outnumber men, not the other way around. I know some people think “if the Quran says it, it must be true!” but lookit, Alexander the Great did not have horns on his head and pre-Islamic Arabs were not all baby-killing savages, them’s the facts.)

In any case, the ayah actually just says the evildoing polytheists think of doing it because they want sons… not that they do it. Nor does it say that Mohammed has ever seen it happen. It seems highly unlikely that he ever personally witnessed such a thing in Mecca, as even the guys the Quran calls evil by name like Crazy Uncle Abu Lahab had daughters. I’ll also add that some noted Quranic commentators say the phrase “bury [her] in the dust” could be a metaphor meaning “to hide [her] out of sight”, because the first word can also mean “conceal”. But let me talk about the other verses now.

Hold on because the next one’s got a plot twist. Surah 81, At-Takwir, is one of those poetic ones about the end of the world, about the stars falling and seas being set on fire etc. 81:8-9 is part of this poem and says “And when the girl [who was] buried alive is asked/For what sin she was killed”.

The phrase translated as “the girl [who was] buried alive” is all one word, l-mawuda, stemming from a root used only in this ayah. It is evidently meant to refer to one killed via “wad”, meaning (in this case apparently) infanticide. So the word would mean, as literally as possible, “infant (girl) who was killed”. However!!

This verse is mentioned in one sahih hadith, which is… not actually about infanticide at all, but is instead about the practice of “azl”, which is the pull-out method, inexplicably called a form of infanticide (wad al-khafi–hidden infanticide, or “secret (way of) burying alive” as this translation puts it).

Then they asked him about ‘azl, whereupon he said “That is the secret (way of) burying alive”, and Ubaidullah has made this addition in the hadith transmitted by al-Muqri and that is: “When the one buried alive is asked[…] (81:8)”

Where might Mohammed have gotten such an idea? Why, I do believe this other sahih hadith has the answer. Someone informs Mohammed that Jews say that Every Sperm is Sacred (they call it mawudat al-sughra, minor infanticide. While the translation of mawuda as “girl buried alive” is standard now, it is clearly meant more in a general infanticide sense here… it’s not implying the dudes are literally burying their semen in the ground). Mohammed, who does not like Ze Jews, declares them liars. Despite the fact that they are saying literally exactly what he said in that other hadith.

The Jews say that withdrawing the penis (azl) is burying the living girls on a small scale. He (the Prophet) said: The Jews told a lie.

This blatant contradiction in two sahih ahadith has puzzled scholars throughout history and has largely been completely brushed over despite the former (from Sahih Muslim) coming from the most conservative of all the ahadith collections and being repeated by other collectors.Many scholars throughout history have just said “yeah, well, that can’t be right because that’d mean that the prophet contradicted himself!”. Which… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here’s what I think happened. As with many things in his Mecca days, Mohammed based his understanding on azl on what the Jews said (see: the qiblah switch). Then he got to Medina and realized, oh, the Jews are actually garbage and we should stop imitating them. So when Muslims ask him whether he agrees with the Jews on the subject of azl, he forcefully declares that he does not, despite the fact that… he did. This is, in fact, an accepted explanation for the contradiction: the one where he calls azl infanticide is early, based on what the Jews believed, and was abrogated later once Allah “revealed” that it wasn’t true. And surah 81 is a Meccan surah, meaning it was from the period before he started loathing Jews, and his own followers connected his view on azl with the verse in question!

Anyway… that’s it for the Quran on this subject. I think I’ve explained why I find it pretty much impossible to believe that Arabs commonly murdered their infant daughters based solely on those verses. But of course, we have other sources that mention infanticide. So let’s do some other ahadith learnin’. For the sake of brevity (lol…) I am going to mainly focus on the sahih collections and will not go into any ahadith with da’if/weak narrators or traditions that appear out of nowhere in like the 10th century+ bc what’s even the point.

I think many Muslims would be surprised by how rarely this subject is mentioned in the sahih collections. There is only one hadith within them alleging any infanticide in Mecca itself, and it is this one narrated by Abu Bakr’s daughter Asma (through her son Urwa and his son Hisham).

I saw Zaid bin Amr bin Nufail standing with his back against the Ka'ba and saying, “O people of Quraish! By Allah, none amongst you is on the religion of Abraham except me.” He used to preserve the lives of little girls: If somebody wanted to kill his daughter he would say to him, “Do not kill her for I will feed her on your behalf.” So he would take her, and when she grew up nicely, he would say to her father, “Now if you want her, I will give her to you, and if you wish, I will feed her on your behalf.”

I’ll be straight with you: I do not believe this. Not in the sense that I don’t believe Asma said it, but in the sense that I don’t believe her actual words.

Zayd ibn Amr, for those of you who don’t know, was a man of Mecca (he was Umar’s cousin on one side and Umar’s uncle on the other–don’t practice incest, kids!) who died a bit before Mohammed became a “prophet”. Because he eschewed polytheism, Christianity, and Judaism in favor of some vague Abrahamic tradition, he was sort of retroactively declared a Muslim and all sorts of legends about his life were made up to portray him as a pious and righteous proto-Muslim. Mohammed claimed that he met him by chance at some point and discovered that Zayd happened to follow the same dietary rules that “Allah” would later instruct Mohammed to follow. I guess he is vaguely comparable to John the Baptist in the Christian tradition? Like a predecessor pious guy (who is killed… not because of persecution, though, robbers just shanked him).

Anyway, Asma was like… 10 years old at most when Zayd died, and he had been away on trading business at the time of his death, so it’s a bit unclear what the timeline is here, if it did happen. She would have been 5-8, I guess. And so here is my question: where, exactly, are these girls that he “saved”? She says that he raised multiple young girls, keeping some with him and later returning others to their families. These girls would have been between Asma and Aisha in age and, presumably, some would have been older than Asma.

So what happened to them? Where are they? Why are they never mentioned again?

Not a single one of these girls he supposedly cared for is ever named or referenced. This happened in Mecca, in a well-known family. Zayd’s own children, Saeed and Atiqa, were Muslims quoted in various ahadith. (Saeed was married to Umar’s sister, incidentally, and was part of Umar’s whole anime-ass backstory. Atiqa was a wife of Umar himself and had a rather scandalous personal history, but that’s irrelevant. Point is, neither had anything to say about their father rescuing or raising any kids of either gender.)

Given how young Asma was and how no one, not even Zayd’s own kids, corroborates her account, I tend to look at her words here with some skepticism. If they existed, the women who were “saved” by Zayd as infants would have become Muslims by or before the conquest of Mecca, and at least one of them would have been quoted or just mentioned in some hadith, somewhere. But they weren’t, and imo it’s because this is not something that really happened and is instead just a demonstration of early Islamic myth-making. The same trope is repeated in later and weaker sources, like some poetry attributed to al-Farazdaq claims that his grandfather raised 66 (!!!) girls he “saved”, who would presumably have been the same age as his parents, but does he name a single damn one of them or name the individuals who he “saved” them from? Nope. Just like Zayd’s mysterious disappearing foster daughters, the girls disappear from the story right after they stop being needed to prove a point. Hm.

There are no other recorded instances of specific people in Mecca either practicing or stopping infanticide. In the interest of fairness, despite my loathing for the guy, I must note that a semi-popular story about Umar burying his daughters is fabricated. Umar obviously had many daughters, his eldest being one of Mohammed’s own wives, who was not only not killed but even received an education and was literate.

The only other sahih hadith on this subject is this one, which just lists various bad things and is similar to 6:151. Again, no specific incidents are mentioned. The term used here is “wad al-banat”, meaning presumably the infanticide (wad) of daughters (banat).

Verity Allah, the Glorious and Majestic, has forbidden for you: disobedience to mothers, and burying alive daughters … (etc)

Nothing further is said of this supposedly common practice in any other sahih hadith. Zero people are accused of partaking in this practice, zero people confess to having done it, no one mentions having a murdered sister or aunt or daughter. And judging by the marriage practices of early Islam, there sure doesn’t seem to have been a gender ratio issue.

With this total dearth of evidence in mind, some Islamic scholars over the centuries have relented on the polytheists somewhat, proposing that female infanticide was a rarer practice than some claim in settled areas, but was still practiced somewhere by some tribe. (This is not just a modern practice: they were in the minority, but there were some 9th century scholars like al-Mubarrad who were explicitly skeptical of the baby-killing days of Jahiliyya.) Usually the Bedouin living outside the Hijaz are blamed because, you know, lol silly desert nomads. Even this requires relying on weaker traditions, though. So hey since this is turning into a goddamn dissertation, let’s dive into them!!

First, let me get this one out of the way: Qays ibn Asim, evidently a leader of the Banu Tamim tribe. If you’ve heard any specific person identified with the practice of female infanticide, it’s probably him. There are all sorts of versions of his story, though most of them go like this.

That story says that his tribe was raided by a Lakhmid (Iraqi) king, who took the women as slaves. Eventually the women were returned once peace was negotiated between the parties, but one of them, the daughter of Qays, refused to come home because she wanted to stay with her Lakhmid husband. After that, Qays buried all girls born to his wife, to avoid such a dishonorable thing happening again in the future. Sometimes it’s said there were 8 girls, other times it’s said there were 12. After he converted to Islam, he confessed and repented by sacrificing some of his camels. (Often this is presented as the first case of female infanticide among Arabs, which does… not… make much sense, timeline-wise?)

I suppose it goes without saying that while the Banu Tamim are mentioned (sometimes in a derogatory way, other times in a nice or neutral way) in the six main ahadith collections, this story is not found in any of them… in fact, Qays himself narrates some sahih ahadith and never bothers to mention that he’s apparently killed a dozen babies. Hmmm. Where does the story come from, then?

As far as I can tell, the bare bones of it come from al-Tabarani (he was of the generation of ahadith collectors after Bukhari et al; this book in particular has tens of thousands of ahadith of varying levels of authenticity, many of which are clearly weak), apparently quoting from Nouman ibn Bashir, who says he heard it from Umar (thus the confusion over Umar supposedly killing one of his children).

All that hadith says is that he buried 8 daughters; the other details about his tribe being attacked etc come from weaker/fabricated sources. There’s a variant of the story in which Qays’ wife saves one girl and (somehow??) brings her up on her own and Qays is devastated and shamed of his deeds when he sees her, which appears to be pulled from a fabricated account about some other guy named Awf ibn Muhallam. Neither account is considered sahih or even credible. The same is true of a ridiculous story from Sunan al-Darimi (Google Translate is shit at Arabic but I can’t find an English version, you can at least get the general idea, the unnamed guy says he kicked his daughter down a well as she screamed out for him!) that some people may have heard which is, again, never stated to be authentic and not found in any other collections; the details in that last one are quite clearly meant to demonize polytheists as shockingly as possible.

I searched and searched for the most credible possible account mentioning a specific incident of infanticide, and I think this one here comes closest. It is a hasan hadith from one of Bukhari’s commentaries. This is not Sahih Bukhari–this commentary has ahadith ranging from daif to sahih (weak to strong, hasan is pretty much “okay”). The guy evidently says he killed a daughter (“wadt mawudatan”, translate that as you will) in pre-Islamic times and asks Abu Dhar if he can repent. Abu Dhar says it’s fine because Allah forgives what has been done before Islam… then starts arguing with his wife about food and this hadith is classified under the chapter about giving guests food… the apparent infanticide being totally forgotten for the remainder of the hadith. Weird.

There’s a variant of this story with different wording in one of Imam Ahmed’s collections (#20376), with a different narration chain. The word mawudatan is not present–“wadt” وأدت is in fact without an object there. It’s possible it’s not talking about infanticide at all but rather using the word with a different definition to indicate being a leading participant in polytheistic practices. But… uh. That’s the best I can do here. One guy, and not from a source that’s considered super authentic.

There are no other even sort-of-reputable sources mentioning female infanticide. That’s it. In the entire history of pre-Islamic Arabia, that is the extent of the evidence for “Arabs always used to bury their daughters alive!!”. As you can see, the evidence that this was a common practice is… not convincing in the least, and the conflation between infanticide and splooging outside a vagina is confusing and not helping matters. In summary, please leave our ancestors alone!! They went through enough shit without ppl painting them as baby-killing monsters based on zero non-Islamic sources and barely any Islamic sources either. I’m just asking y’all to evaluate claims of them being evil with the same skepticism you’d grant claims of pagan Europeans being called evil by Christian sources. The fact that we’ve all been taught this “fact” is unfortunate but I hope I’ve convinced you that the practice at least wasn’t as common as it’s presented in the modern era.

I guess we may follow the prophet’s example and blame the Jews for this confusion. And Allah knows best.

#ask #anon #arabs #long post #islam #rant

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theatredirectors · 6 years

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Kate Jopson

Hometown?

I am from Etna, CA. Which is a town of 700 people on the Oregon/CA border.

Where are you now?

Los Angeles.

What's your current project?

I recently become Artistic Director of Circle X Theatre Co. in LA and just opened Hole in the Sky, a piece we commissioned from Octavio Solis about water issues facing my hometown.

Why and how did you get into theatre?

There was a Broadway actress who fell in love with a cowboy in my area and moved there and started a theatre. I was an emotive child and my scientist parents didn't know what to do with me, so they decided to try sticking me into her annual production of Christmas Carol at 7 years old. Apparently, I ran off into the parking lot in tears after being teased by some older kids and was "put on probation" until I was older (all of 8 years old). I went on to perform in 40 plays by the time I was 17. The theatre became my "home." It gave me an outlet, a way to find discipline and control, a place to grow and become a leader, and a key to finding people who would accept me. Still, I didn't think it could ever be a profession. So I studied Anthropology and Arabic at UC Berkeley. It wasn't until I was in Egypt and I realized 1) writing papers in academia can't change shit, 2) that the closest bonds I made were thru theatre and 3) theatre could spark real conversations, that I decided to pursue it professionally.

What is your directing dream project?

I want to do an epic piece of theatre that lasts hours and maybe people even spend the night. I am currently working on a project like that. It would be adapted from these old Arabic poems that I fell in love with. I tried translating them into monologue form before and it didn't really work. You can't translate them with words, you need to translate them into an experience. My plan is to have people go out into the desert and be immersed in the world of these poems and camp out under the stars.

What kind of theatre excites you?

Surprising theatre. I like theatre across genre's and styles. I just like to be surprised by the creativity or the journey. I used to like theatre with poetic texts, now I like theatre better with poetic images, movement, concepts, or experiences.

What do you want to change about theatre today?

I wish that there was more experimentation with theatre as a form. Immersive and site-specific theatre is blooming, but I think there are other ways to push theatre too. Some of that is happening, but it is remaining largely on the periphery or in graduate programs. Once you leave school there is pressure to "normalize" so that you become more marketable. Also, it is much more costly to take those risks. There needs to be a lot of mistakes before you reach true innovation. To that end, I wish there could be greater collaboration between playwrights and directors. I want us to have honest, hard conversations about plays. It's really difficult. It's vulnerable. But I think new play creation process should be free of the director feeling like they are there to "serve" the playwright, or the playwright feeling like they are there to "serve" the director or the company. I think playwrights and directors should discuss visuals and staging from the beginning and also give hard feedback about text. The director's work shouldn't begin once the play is written and there is the danger of them "imposing" something on the piece that doesn't fit. Or the playwright "freezing" a play before a director has ever been able to get involved and the director being stuck trying to work around something that doesn't fit this individual production of the play. Theatre is a living art form, not a written one. Solutions won't come from the text alone. Ideas need to arise that suit the specific time, place and production otherwise it becomes what Peter Brooke called "deadly theatre." I have had one process that was collaborative in the way I am talking about, it was difficult in terms of swallowing ego and taking criticism, but I was really proud of it. I have also had processes like that fail because people got their feelings hurt. So it is a delicate balance. It requires a great deal of trust and sensitivity without becoming so "careful" that you cease to be honest.

What is your opinion on getting a directing MFA?

I am glad I did. I didn't major in theatre in undergrad and so I felt that I needed the training. But it was hard and hardening. On one hand, I met amazing collaborators, I got to experiment and make mistakes. On the other, it was brutal mentally and physically and it made be so disenchanted with my original goal of finding an academic job, that even though I love teaching, I haven't really pursued it. I don't think it's for everyone. I think people can craft experience out of the "real world" too. But, for myself, I don't regret doing it.

Who are your theatrical heroes?

Thomas Ostermeier, Arianne Mnouchkine, Emma Rice, Taylor Mac.

Any advice for directors just starting out?

See as much as possible. See theatre in/from other countries. Find ways to travel, or get videos, or see shows when they tour to your city. Often, you don't need to understand the words to have an amazing experience. It helps expand what you think is possible. Then find a way to practice. Your imagination will often be beyond your skill to execute a vision. You need to hone skills in communication, problem solving, producing, management/leadership, time management, budgeting, fundraising etc... All that takes a lot of practice and you will continually make mistakes. It is only in extremely rare moments when the "fates" align to give you the right skills, with the right vision, with enough money, with the right timing to make a beautiful piece that blows people away. But you can find fragments of that experience in many productions and you'll be learning every time to do.

#Kate Jopson #ask a director #theatre director

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rigelmejo · 3 years

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April Study Plan Updates

noticing myself falling into that rabbit hole of ‘studying too many languages, gonna neglect progress in all!’

or the similar ‘using too many resources, gonna neglect making progress in any!’

ToT

suddenly felt like refreshing my french (which future me, that study plan would be: french comprhensible input youtube videos and shadowing, reading Le Francais Par Le Method Nature and finishing it, then optionally finishing some french books). but realistically i do NOT have time right now. improving that would be a “do i need it” and then do all that for a few months straight.

---

Chinese is mostly on track but I’m really whittling down what I’m doing because it’s become sort of chaotic:

Chinese study plan:

1. Read anything (priority is ONLY hanshe on Pleco app, or Guardian print novel - I do not have time for anything else. My goal right now is to be at hanshe chapter 80 by the end of the month, and to get to the end of the Sundial arc in guardian because that’s how much I’ve read of the english translation so far) 2. Listen to Chinese Spoonfed Audio, shadowing when I can (I am over 1/3 through I CAN finish it, I’m putting Listening Reading off until later because that is so time intensive I need to finish at LEAST one thing I’m reading before I can carve out time. This is ultimately lower priority, but I do NOT want to see myself start from scratch again on this, and do not want to L-R method or listen to other audio until I’ve went through this).

Anything else is OPTIONAL rn I do not have time. The 2 optional activities I’m prioritizing:

a. Watching Two Souls in One, shadowing when desired (although any show would be fine but it would be nice to Not abandon a show lol) b. go through my hanzi characters book, SPECIFICALLY practice writing and make mnemonics to remember the TONES. saying the hanzi pronunciation out loud when i write. (While this is optional I would like to do it for several hundred freaking common hanzi because like... firstly, I’m studying japanese again and Definitively knowing the hanzi pronunciation and tone and comparing it would allow me to review/test that better as i see the japanese readings - and help me keep them firmly separate as HANZI WITH SOLIDLY AUDIBLE TONE versus japanese readings. Because right now a LOT of hanzi i ‘partly’ know i know the initial-final-meaning of and can recognize in reading and tend to just sub-vocalize when i read with no-tone or a tentative guess, and all those ‘partly known’ i really do not want to get mixed up with japanese. Thankfully it is pretty hard to confuse shou3 and te 手, or zu2 and ashi 足, because the japanese words sound pretty firmly japanese pronunciations and those hanzi are pretty hard imprinted in my head with their pronunciation in chinese already. But that may not always be the case! And my writing in chinese is like 0% skills and I think writing would help them them stick in my head when it comes to a lot of the ‘partly’ learned once I have more vague recognition of. Also again just... I know mnemonics have worked for me to remember tones but then I just stopped doing it when I went reading heavy. And knowing hanzi but not their tone is a huge weak spot, so sitting down and forcing myself to write it out will help it stick. I imagine this will be a longer term project of a few months, but it only takes like 5-10 free minutes in a day to do several so I should try when I feel like it.

---

Japanese goals:

1. continue through nukemarine’s memrise courses. No excuses mejo if you feel you need to ‘prepare’ then just continue the vocab courses instead of the grammar. 2. continue reading Tae Kim’s grammar guide (when you can focus - I would ideally like to see myself finish the first 2 sections since I’m almost done with section 1).

Optional:

a. listen to some lets plays (I just looked up a bunch of persona lps -3-)/

*I really do not need to do optional anything rn. I want to read - I need more freaking vocabulary! (Parasite Eve, the Galaxy Train, those are down the road when reading is something less intensive). I already KNOW at the end of the month when Nier Replicant comes my ass will be playing that game in english and japanese. I already know right after that my psp’s coming and my ass will be playing crisis core. I will get some ‘immersion’/practice in soon. But I’d really like to just... grind through the nukemarine courses as MUCH as possible while I still have the very rare ability to do flashcards fast. (I go through periods where I can do 100-300 flashcards a day, and then suddenly it takes me 1 hour to do 5-10 cards and i give up again). Last time I studied japanese (for 2.5 years ;-;) I did NOT make it this far through the nukemarine courses. Poor past mejo really dove in fucking blind into japanese games with like 500 words maybe from genki and maybe 200 from nukemarine’s courses and just TRIED. Wild. I’m not doing anything that hard again lol. Present mejo would like to get at MINIMUM 1000 words in before I try that again this time around. I’m about 300 through the 1000 first words (and 300 through the grammar deck which has some extra words, and through 500 kanji but tbh kanji meanings are much less horrific now that i know some chinese to help me remember and associate). So I’ve got like... until the end of April to study 700 more! If I keep doing 40-200 a day that should be doable.

I just know myself and the instant this ability to flashcard focus leaves I will not go back to it for months, and also the instant I get back into playing video games a Lot in japanese I will abandon any other structured study... at least for a while. Last time I did it for like 4 months, it was pretty hard, and then I just kinda just stopped studying. Phenomenal. I’m hoping if i know a BIT more words I’ll be less likely to just abandon things. We’ll see.

LATER (end of month?)

b. play some games ovo)/

**Longer term, I’ve been desperately getting the urge to read through my Japanese Sentence Patterns book, my Japanese in 30 Hours book. Also to go through the Japanese Audio Lessons. HOWEVER. I think a few things need to happen first. First, I need to finish at least maybe 7-8 of nukemarine’s courses - I do not want to be doing them AND a textbook/another course, I would like to do them one at a time. Second, I need to finish reading Tae Kim’s Grammar Guide - that is why I want to get done all the nukemarine courses that coincide with it, and read through it that far, at least. I cannot read 2 textbooks at once, I WILL abandon one and probably finish neither. Third, I need to finish Chinese Spoonfed Audio - I know myself and I absolutely can’t focus on multiple audio prioritized activities in a study plan. I can’t listen to the DeFrancis audio and get Through it, I can’t do the Japanese Audio Lessons. In fact Japanese Audio Lessons I might ‘only’ do because it would slip in as a nice replacement activity when I finish Chinese Spoonfed Audio. An audio I can listen to while walking/working out/chilling.

---

KEY overall goals:

Chinese: I want to finish a novel (Guardian hi baby), which has been the goal since day 1.

After that: I want to work on audio comprehension (so Listening-Reading), shadowing (can do it in l-r or with any audio), and SOLIDLY knowing the hanzi I partially know (so probably continue through my hanzi books - I should consider using my Alan Hoenig book again tbh).

Japanese: I want to finish 7-8 nukemarine courses, and try playing video games again.

After that: playing video games, looking up words, having fun! (And MUCH later, when there’s time - read the textbooks I have. Then even Later... try diving into reading whenever I feel ready to do that...or whenever the mood randomly strikes).

**The bolded goals I plan to actually do this April-May (guardian I may only finish section 1 but hey its a solid portion). “After that” goals are my next concrete things I want to do.

just personal goal notes below

---

Personal goals:

1. Workout everyday (actually 5-6 days a week cause I think breaks can be good, but I’m aiming for every so when I inevitably skip one that’s the break day lol). 50 crunches, 70 pushups, at least 15 minutes cardio. I’ve been sticking to it pretty well! Hardest part is just... I hate being sweaty a lot -.- Also I’m fairly sure eventually I am going to need to add more specific time for bodyweight workouts (probably 20 minutes minimum) if I want to get any results similar at all to back when I went to the gym (which was like 12 minutes HIIT then 8 minutes cool down cardio like walking, 10 minutes warm up with pushups/crunches and stretches, 30ish minutes just weight machines, some cooldown stretches and/or walking). I want to do a few specific muscle workouts but like god baby steps, i need to consistently just work out at the MINIMUM before i add stuff because i will absolutely quit if it gets complicated or time consuming. ‘any cardio’ is very flexible so i will actually do it. (also hopefully that means when i switch To a specific thing like ‘do this for a week or 2′ because i’m consistent with working out so i can move into consistent in ONE specific workout, i will be able to stick to it).

2. Eat low carb, low sodium (apparently -.- ). Try to get my bloating to stop getting so bad constantly, try to make my stomach stop hurting for a consistent amount of time. I would like to get it feeling good for a week or 2 straight before I eat something that hurts it again (and next time I hurt it I have got to do a one-off thing then be nice to it again :c ). I got too cocky last time. I know I hate how boring it all tastes i know but i need to just do it long enough for it to help.

#april #april progress #april study plan #study plan #basically while i WANT to use a lot of my resources. i really need to limit myself and keep to a strict plan #as usual i need to PROGRESS THROUGH AND FINISH A MATERIAL #BEFORE GOING TO THE NEXT #i can only jump around with shows/reading!#and tbh even my reading i specifically want to FINISH the books so no more skipping around ;-;#and even tho my french got !!! again #realistically i have no reason to work on it rn #a friend informed me... my ass should apply for CERN and UN when covid is over #and god it reminded me how ive DREAMED of that for years and YES i sure would need french for that #but even IF thats true im not gonna need to fix the issues w my french until like fall/winter #until at LEAST july.

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drev-the-ambassador · 7 years

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EDIT: I don’t know if it’s just me, but the pictures in this post didn’t seem to be working properly on the mobile app at first. If the pictures are all over the place and don’t seem to be getting back to normal, you might have better luck trying the web page version!

So, in case no one noticed, I haven’t made a post in a looong time. That is due to a combination of a crappy computer, lack of time and also a bit of laziness. Originally I wanted to make this post the first post on the blog, but that didn’t end up happening. While trying to answer one sports-related ask I, seeing as the post was taking forever since I had to do a lot of research and on top of that, I had to write in proper sentences, I decided it would probably be for the best to make a quick post, a list perhaps, of some basic things about Finland. So I did. It’s this post. The reason it has taken me so long to get this done is that originally I also had a history portion, but it ended up making the post too long. I then decided it would be better to make that into its own post, so I settled on making a condensed version on this one.

Turns out, condensing 800 years of history into one post and keeping it at a reasonable length is not such an easy task. Huh, who would’ve thought? That means that you’ll be getting THREE separate posts about general Finnish history! Awesome right?

Anyway, this is not that post. This is just some basic stuff, and pictures. So, without further ado:

Some basic things about Finland

Name of the country: Suomen tasavalta (the Republic of Finland)

Location: Fennoscandia (not Scandinavia!!), Northern Europe

Edit made by me (as you can see from the top notch quality), but the map is from here Neighboring countries: Norway to the north, Sweden to the west, Estonia to the south on the other side of the Gulf of Finland, Russia to the east.

Official languages: Finnish and Swedish (technically Finland Swedish) Minority languages (mentioned in the law): Karelian, Northern Sami, Skolt Sami, Inari Sami, Finnish Romani, Finnish Sign Language and Finland Swedish Sign Language.

Languages with the most speakers: 1st: Finnish (4 865 628 people/88,7% of total population[as of 2015]) 2nd: Swedish (290 161/5,3%[2015]) 3rd: Russian (~75 000[as of March of 2017, same with the ones below]) 4th: Estonian (~49 500) 5th: Arabic (~21 700) 6th: Somali (~19 000) 7th: English (~18 500)

President: Sauli Niinistö, 12th president of Finland. in 2018 there’ll be a new presidential election, but he’s running for president again, and there’s quite a good chance he’ll get elected again.

Here’s our current president with his wife Jenni Haukio and their dog, Lennu, the first dog of Finland.

Currency: Euro since 2002. From 1860 until 2002 Finland had it’s own currency, markka. 1 euro is approximately 6 markkas.

Population: 5 503 297 as of 2016

Population density: 16/km2

Size: Area: 338 424 km2 Length: ~ 1 200 km Width: ~ 550 km

Number of lakes: 187 888

Number of islands: 179 584

Religion: 72,0 % Evangelical Lutheran 1,1 % Orthodox Christian 1,6 % other 25,3 % none

Important holidays: Vappu 1.5. Juhannus 20.6.-26.6. on a Saturday Itsenäisyyspäivä (Independence day) 6.12. Joulu (Christmas) 24.12. is celebrated more than 25.12. Uudenvuodenaatto (New Year’s eve) 31.12.

Other holidays: Laskiainen (Shrove Tuesday) Seven weeks before Easter. Pyhäinmiestenpäivä (All Saints’ Day) 31.10.-6.11. on a Saturday, NOT Halloween, we don’t celebrate it here. Pääsiäinen (Easter) The same time it’s celebrated elsewhere. Ruotsalaisuuden päivä (Finnish Swedish Heritage Day) 6.11. Äitienpäivä (Mother’s day) Celebrated on the second Sunday of May. Isänpäivä (Father’s day) Celebrated on the second Sunday of November, exactly half a year after Mother’s day.

Can you drink the tap water: Yes.

Number of saunas: 2 million - 3,2 million

Number of dogs: around 500 000 pure breeds, mixed breeds not included

Finland’s national

...anthem: Maamme, Vårt land in Swedish, Our Land in English. Composed by Fredrik Pacius, words written (first in Swedish) by J. L. Runeberg. It was performed for the first time in 1846. The Finnish translation is what made it become the national anthem, even though for a long time Finnish wasn’t even an official language in Finland.

...flag: A blue Nordic cross on a white background, the State flag also has the Coat of Arms of Finland in the middle.

...Coat of Arms: A golden crowned lion on a red background, standing on it’s hind legs, with it’s other armored front leg holding a sword, trampling a saber, with nine silver roses just kinda floating around. See for yourself.

...day: 6th of December, our Independence day.

...epic: Kalevala, published in 1835, made by Elias Lönnrot, who collected old poems and songs from Karjala (Karelia) and compiled them into one book. Kalevala has inspired many artists in Finland and abroad, one example being J.R.R. Tolkien. Kalevala has been translated into 61 languages, so you can probably give it a read if you’d like. (source)

...instrument: Kantele. (source)

...personification: Suomi-neito, the Finnish Maiden. Yes, we have an official personification as well.

...animal: A bear. It was a holy animal in Finnish paganism, so much so that it was forbidden to say its name out loud. To this day, we don’t know what the real, original word for bear in Finnish was. It had a lot of names that were used instead. The word we use today, karhu, comes from the word “karhea”, which means like, rough? It’s because of the texture of the bear’s fur. (source)

...fish: Ahven, European perch. Beautiful, isn’t it? (source)

....bird: Laulujoutsen, which is by the way a much prettier name than whooper swan (sorry English). Laulujoutsen literally means “song swan”. (source)

...bug: Leppäkerttu, a ladybug. Funny thing, you know how it’s called like a God’s cow in some languages? Well, the Finnish name, leppäkerttu OR the more specific species seitsenpistepirkko, are literally translated as “alder-Kerttu” and “seven-dotted- Pirkko”, Kerttu and Pirkko being Finnish names for women. What a weird name. ALSO, one of the gods pagan Finns worshipped was called Ukko, and it is commonly believed that he was the highest of all the Finnish gods. A ladybug, back then, was called ukonlehmä. You know what that means? Ukko’s cow. (source)

...horse: Suomenhevonen, Finnhorse, literally “horse of Finland”. It was, for a long time, the only horse breed in Finland. It’s apparently considered one of the fastest and most versatile coldblood breeds in the world. During WWII, the Finnish army did not have many cars, so suomenhevoset were very important back then. 7 200 horses died or went missing during the Winter War, and the horses that did survive had their minds as broken as the men they’d stayed beside. There are quite a few memorials for the horses, after all, they helped to carry the wounded when no other vehicle could. We owe them a lot.

This is one of those memorials. It’s called Suomenhevonen - Sotahevonen, which means basically “the Finnhorse - a war horse”. (no relation to the movie)

....dog: Suomenpystykorva, the Finnish Spitz, yes, we did need our national dog, who doesn’t??? Written mentions of a barking hunting dogs with red fur have survived from the end of the 19th century, but dogs very closely resembling the breed have been used for hunting in Finland for hundreds of years. (source)

...tree: Rauduskoivu, silver birch. (picture by me)

...flower: Kielo, Lily of the valley. (source)

...stone: Graniitti, granite. It’s the most common type of stone in Finland, and it’s been mined here even to be exported. For example, the pillars of Saint Isaac’s Cathedral in St. Petersburg were made of Finnish granite. And, of course, so was Finland’s Parliament House in Helsinki. There’s even a type of granite that has a Finnish name, rapakivi granite.

...poet: Johan Ludwig Runeberg (1804-1877). The words of our national anthem were made by him, and he wrote a collection of poems, called Vänrikki Stoolin tarinat, The Tales of Ensign Stål, an epic poem about the Finnish War of 1808-1809, a work of literature second to only Kalevala. He was already considered a great man (suurmies) before his death, and Runebergin päivä, Runeberg day, is celebrated on February 5th.

...composer: Jean Sibelius (1865-1957). Composed such little pieces as Finlandia (which was once suggested as the anthem for the whole world), the Karelia Suite, his seven symphonies, Valse triste, and many more. Finlandia is perhaps the best known out of all of them, especially the Finlandia Hymn. It is very beautiful, I agree. Here’s a link, go have a listen if you have time.

...author: Aleksis Kivi. He was the first professional Finnish author. He is the best known for his novel Seitsemän veljestä, Seven Brothers. He also wrote plays and poetry. Oh, yes, I should probably mention that this first professional Finnish author lived in 1834-1872. No, we haven’t been writing books here for very long. There are no photos of him, but there’s this drawing by Albert Edelfelt.

...saint: Piispa Henrik, or Henry, Bishop of Finland. He was murdered here in 1156. Maybe. He might’ve not existed, no one knows for sure.

...satu: See, the word “satu” technically means a fairytale, but some stories that are called a satu in Finnish don’t actually have that much magic stuff, you know? For example this one, that I swear I saw being called Finland’s national “fairytale”, but if it’s not, that’s fine, because it’s still a very well known tale in Finland. It’s called Koivu ja tähti, which means the Birch and the Star. It’s about two children, who were taken from their parents and from their home to Russia during the Russian occupation of Finland called “Isoviha”, or the Great Hatred. A lot of people died, okay, I’ll talk about it later in the history post. Anyway, the siblings, a boy and a girl, who want to return back home to Finland. However, the only thing they remember of their home is the big birch tree growing outside, and how a star always shone through the branches in the evening. They start making their way home, with only two birds leading their way, and after a year find their home and their parents, still alive. However, their two sisters had died while they were away, so the children realize that the two birds were actually the souls of their siblings leading them back home. This was based on the story of the author’s, Sakari Topelius’, great-grandfather Kristoffer Toppelius’ life, as he was taken to Russia as a slave, but after escaping and following the sunset he eventually found his way to Southern Finland.

But yeah, that’s about it. In our brand new series (that I came up with while making this post), “Some basic stuff about Finland”, the next part will be about the years Finland was a part of Sweden! Material for tons of fanfics y’all

I hope you enjoyed the read! Sorry that it took so long!

#hetaliafandomdirectory #aph ambassador #aph finland #finland #hetalia #and if you think my posts are too long pls tell me #the amount of times i typo'd the word Finland while making this and the history parts is too big #kinda like when i made my essay on the russification of finland in 8th grade #though then it was with the Finnish names and like both Finland and Russia and i think Sweden a few times???#i really can't write #sorry if this has many mistakes it's nearing 2 am now and i am quite tired so i'll fix the mistaks in the morning #i would've gotten this out sooner but i spent the afternoon making karelian pies with my cousin and grandma #hohoo #it was fun #sorry for the rambling btw #but i do hope you like this!!!#I spent a lot of time on it #i know which posts ill do next btw #answer a couple of asks and make a couple of my own posts #the hardest part is writing because i keep getting distracted by research

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