#while also saying that was disgusting since she left her boyfriend for being depressed

[luxenna]

Well, after 3 years, it's finally over.

I went to the sentencing last Saturday. During the whole legal proceedings, I didn't attend because

1. I was not called as a witness, but my parents were, oddly enough

2. My sister didn't want me to go because it would be harder for her to speak about what happened.

Of course, I understood - but it was difficult for me to not be there for her. Thankfully, her boyfriend was there with her and I'm just glad she had someone. But I can understand where she is coming from. If the roles were reversed, I would have a difficult time having my family there explaining everything and reliving those moments. For a while, I had to grapple with the feelings of being an inadequate older sister, especially since I felt like I failed to protect her back then.

The whole process was super frustrating and anxiety inducing, so I had to really suppress my feelings during the whole thing, mainly because I wanted to focus on my sister and my family. But now everything is over, I feel... very depressed.

That day went by really quick. We went to the courthouse - me, my sister and her boyfriend, and we were both full of anxiety the whole time. Once we entered the building, it still hadn't really hit me how real everything was. The entire time, I had no reason to be in the courthouse, so this was my first time being there for this case.

I was told by her advocate that we could say statements before the judgement handed down his sentence. It was 15 minutes before the sentencing. My sister reassured me I didn't have to, but I said, "Yes, I want to," immediately. I took out my phone and wrote this up:

"My name is ___ and I'm the older sister of ___. I am also a former student of ___. After I had heard the news from my sister, I was heartbroken and devastated. ___ taught me, my brother AND my sister. Growing up, I had full trust in him because he was my teacher, and when you're in a vulnerable and impressionable position, there's no other conclusion to make but to trust those who are supposed to guide and protect you. Not only has he failed and broken my sister's trust and dignity, but also mine. I trusted him fully to protect my siblings once I left middle school, and I am heartbroken that this is the outcome. [Addressing him], I looked up to you and respected you and I am so disgusted that you did this to one of the most beloved people in my life. As an older sister, I thought I had failed to protect her, but as time passed I realize it was YOUR responsibility to protect, guide and serve, and you took advantage of your position to hurt not only my sister, but our family."

The court room was smaller than I expected, not the grand and large ones that you see on TV. There were a few folks on his side, no doubt from his church community or family. I couldn't help but wonder what they thought. Did they think he was innocent? Do they think he did a bad thing? Do they think he's worth God's forgiveness? Do they have any sympathy for our family and what he's done to my sister?

It doesn't matter. He's guilty and deserves to be punished.

It was just the three of us, and her advocate on our side. My sister's lawyer was very kind and down to earth. There were also a couple folks there too, I think one was in training and I'm not sure who the other person was, but they wanted to be there for the sentencing. I was glad she had all those people on her side. They treated her with respect and care at all times, and I could tell they 100000% believed her. Meeting them made me feel so relieved that she had people like them on her side.

I finally saw him come in handcuffs and prison clothing. I couldn't look at him. I only glanced at him and couldn't bring myself to fully look at him. I felt instantly sick. I felt like the world was falling on me. But I still held my sister's hand and looked straight, not allowing myself to cry - suppressing my emotions as I had done all these years.

The proceedings began. Each side presented their side - her lawyer introduced me, her bf, and my sister. On his side, the lawyer had everyone on his side introduce themselves. There was a good amount. I briefly wished we had more people on our side, but it didn't really matter. He had already plead guilty, and I wouldn't want my parents to go through any more pain and stress they already had by testifying.

We were given an opportunity to provide statements to the judge. My sister and her advocate walked up, and her lawyer read out my sister's statement. My sister stood behind her lawyer and her advocate, and I could see her visibly shaking. I had to take a deep breath. I couldn't cry yet. I didn't allow myself to.

After her statement ended, the judge asked if there was anyone else wanted to give a statement. I stood up and I instantly felt like I had tunnel vision. All I could see was the prosecutor's desk and the mic I had to speak into. Her lawyer whispered, "Here, you can use this mic so everyone can hear you."

I pulled up my note I wrote 15 minutes before the sentencing and took a deep breath, and it felt like that breath lasted forever. And I spoke.

I started out confidently, as if I had practiced, if I had been sure what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. I even was able to make eye contact with the judge as I read it. When I got to the part where I addressed the coward directly, tears instantly flowed out of my eyes. My voice broke, and my vision dimmed. All I could see was my phone, and my now shaking hand as I struggled to get through the rest of my statement.

"Thank you." I managed to look at the judge one last time. I turned around, and sat down.

Me and my sister hugged, we were both crying. "I love you," I said, through my tears. I couldn't stop crying. "I love you too," she said back. She was still shaking. I held her hand for the rest of the proceedings.

The judge asked if the defense had any statement to make. His side stayed silent. They had wrote letters in lieu of a verbal statement. Sometimes I wonder what was in those letters. Was it full of Christian sentiments? Talking about how good of a person he was? Did it really matter when he did such an egregious thing?

The proceedings continued after the statements were made. The judge asked him to stand up for his sentencing and honestly, I can't remember everything he talked about. I took this opportunity to actually look at him. I don't know if that was a good idea or not. He looked frail, old, and sick. Actually looking at him made me feel nauseous. It was hitting me hard. Yes, this was him. Yes, this is real. Yes, this is happening. At this point, my face was stone again and staring straight ahead.

The judge tried to sound impartial as possible, as I'm sure judges need to do. But at the end of his decision, he mentioned how horrible the crime was, and what he did to my sister. I felt disgusted listening to it, even though I knew. He was sentenced a little over a year in prison, plus multiple years probation. Not even close to enough to what he deserves, but because of how this trial has gone, I am glad he will be in jail for some time.

After the sentencing, there was some official business needed to be done. Getting signatures, getting fingerprints. We sat there awkwardly. I wanted to go home, I'm sure my sister did too. And after a while, it was finally over. We all got up, and I never looked back at that disgusting man.

We chatted her legal team a bit after the sentencing. We were all glad it was over, and I expressed my gratitude that they helped my family so much.

Once we got home, I fell asleep for hours. I had plans later in the evening, so I couldn't hermit the rest of the day, even though I wanted to.

The day after that, I had a breakdown. I cried so hard my chest hurt and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like a failure. I felt guilty I couldn't protect my sister. I could feel my heart breaking. I felt angry, frustrated, and nauseated. After three years, I allowed myself to break down. It was over. I didn't feel like I needed to protect my sister or be strong for her as much as I have been.

I feel a little better these days, but I had to take the day off from work because I haven't processed things fully or properly. I was up last night replaying the sentencing in my head. Not because I thought I did anything wrong or I wished things went differently, but the sentencing made everything feel so surreal. I was so detached from the whole thing to protect my own feelings and sanity, and being there, seeing him - it hit me so much harder than I thought.

So I had to write this all up and really lay my feelings out. I feel like my own healing can really begin. I don't feel the heavy responsibility on my chest anymore. It's over, but it's also not. There's so much more work to be done for our family to heal, but I'm so glad we have each other.

After feeling incredibly guilty for being a bad sister, my sister was texting me the other day, obviously having a good night at a party with her boyfriend. She was saying I was the 'best sister 10000000000000000/10.' I laughed, but it made my night.

[tomboy-writer]

Prompt: Chris Evans story where your boyfriend is a cheating douche-bag. He cheats on you time and time again and you get into a bit of a depression. You confide in your best friend, Chris Evans. His consoling leads to sex, the sex soon turns into a regular thing and you get happy again. Your boyfriend sees your change and promises that he will never cheat again and that he will treat you better. You’re happy but sad at the same time because now you have to break things off with Chris. But Chris won’t have it; he says that you should stay with him and not your boyfriend. You’re not sure of which decision to make, so Chris lists off reasons why you would be better off with him.

Chris Evans x black!reader

A/N: my first Chris Evans story!! Let me know what you guys think of it.

A/N 2: I started this story a few years ago and it took me a long time to finish cause I was on a very long writing hiatus and didn't finish this until earlier this year, so some of the story goes off of what the summary says and I decided to turn this into 2 parts (could be more, depending on how long the 2nd part is). So no smut in this part, just angst and dumb jokes. This also originally wasn't going to be a black reader story, but seeing how my ACTUAL 1st Chris Evans story went pretty well (the Game On story) I decided to make it another one cause I love it.

C/W: angst, swearing, my dumb jokes, 3rd person story (it hurt my brain to write it this way, but I wanted to try something different)

“He did it again, Chris! Michael cheated on me with some big titted chick,” Y/N said as she sobbed into her best friend’s shoulder.

Chris rubbed his friend’s back, trying to calm her down. He knew how to handle situations like these since Y/N went through so many of them with her boyfriend. Chris thought her relationship with Michael was like a broken record: always repeating itself. It was good at first with the couple being so obviously in love, but that changed six months later when Michael decided that Y/N wasn’t enough and started to cheat on her with multiple women. Y/N had been given advice by Chris countless times about guys like Michael and she listened to him, she really did. But she always ended up forgiving her unfaithful boyfriend and enjoyed the makeup sex that Michael would give her after.

“He and that big titted chick can both go to hell for all I care,” Chris replied. Then he lifted his friend’s head from his shoulder and made her look directly in his eyes. “Hey hon,” he said using his ‘friendly’ nickname for Y/N. “I think it’s about time you dropped that lame ass zero and got yourself a hero.”

“Okay, Captain America,” Y/N chuckled while wiping her face.

Chris laughed too, but deep down he was really hoping that Y/N would actually consider dating him. They met seven years ago and became fast friends. But the bearded actor didn’t count on falling for Y/N a few years later when he was doing an interview for one of his new movies and Y/N was there to help support him and make sure his anxiety didn’t get the best of him. While in the middle of the interview, Chris started to feel a little fidgety, so he tugged on his ear; a sign that told Y/N that he needed her help. She was standing right behind the cameraman, so Y/N could see everything that Chris was doing. She saw the signal and started to make some weird faces for her best friend.

Y/N made Chris and the interviewer crack up that day, especially when she stood right behind the cameraman and started to bulge her eyes out at him, making him laugh as well. At that moment, Chris realized that he had found that special someone. That special someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with and just keep forever, never let go. 

Y/N was sweet, considerate and loved Disney movies and dogs as much as he did. So he felt that she was just perfect for him. He even started to mentally kick his ass for taking so long to realize this.

The interviewer asked Chris one last question before he had to leave.

“So, Chris, is there a special lady in your life? Ya know, besides your mother and sisters,” she asked.

Chris chuckled and looked right in Y/N’s direction with a bright smile on his face. “Well, I don’t have anyone yet,” the blonde answered, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s, “but I’m looking for her.”

“Chris? Chris, did you hear me,” Y/N asked suddenly, stopping Chris from remembering the day he fell for her.

Evans shook his head no. “Sorry, I zoned out for a few seconds.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I said I would love to find a new boyfriend, but I’m still in love with Michael.” Chris rolled his eyes this time. “Don’t do that, man. I can’t help that these are my feelings for him.”

“But what are your feelings for him right now! Aren’t you sad? Pissed? Or feeling like you just wanna punch that douche-bag in the face so hard that his face caves in a little bit?”

Chris’s friend nodded her head yes and started to sob again. He felt bad for making Y/N cry; he would never want to make her tears fall from her eyes unless they were tears of joy. He grabbed Y/N and embraced her for a few minutes until she was calm again. Once was she was, Chris pulled away from Y/N enough to look her in her eyes.

“Hey, promise me that you’ll forget about that douche for at least two weeks and just try to find someone better. Okay?” Chris begged with sincerity in his eyes. 

“Okay,” I promise,” Y/N complied.

Chris kissed Y/N’s head and, after saying goodbye, left his friend’s house for the night.

           * * *

Chris returned to Y/N’s house a few weeks later. He rung the doorbell and heard a faint ‘it’s open’. Evans opened and closed the door behind him and blushed at the sight in front of him: there stood Y/N, wearing only a pair of boy shorts and an over sized t-shirt, no makeup. That’s when Chris thought, no knew, that Y/N was the most beautiful woman out there.

"Hi Chris," Y/N greeted her best friend with a warm hug and a kiss on his cheek. Evans couldn't help the blush that crept onto his face. He also couldn't help but to imagine if he and Y/N were together and he'd come home from being on set all day long, her greeting him the same way she was now except that she'd try to pull back a little to ask him about his day. But Chris would hold his lover in a tight embrace, kiss her so lovingly, so passionately, and ask about her day instead.

Yeah, Christopher Robert [Jamal] Evans would love that.

"Hey, Y/N," Chris replied as he breathed in the embrace. "How've you been lately?"

"A little bit better; not fully okay, but I'm getting there I think," Y/N answered.

Chris shook his head in disbelief. He knew when his best friend was lying to him. "Y/N," he whispered, "I can see in your eyes that you're hurting more than letting on. You sure you're doing fine?"

Y/N's smile was quickly replaced with a small frown. "I'm doin' fine, Evans," she answered, mocking Chris's Boston accent. "And, before you ask, yes I have went on a few dates with other guys; three to be exact. First guy wouldn't shut up about his ex-wife; like I was supposed to be his therapist or something. Second guy -this gorgeous dreadhead- we connected and shit, but he too wouldn't stop talking about his ex and his table manners were terrible." You rolled your eyes before finishing your list. "Last but not least, I went on date with Mr. I-Got-Tons-of-Money-Baby. We didn't connect at all and I'm sure it was cause of his cocky attitude and the way he talked down to people -it was disgusting! " The dateless woman flounced into her big living room and plopped down onto her L-shaped sofa. "Trying to find a new man is pointless, Chris. Either I start dating women cause why the fuck not!? Or I just give up on love all together."

Chris chuckled but then nervously cleared his throat after he came up with a great -but what he also thought was a heart attack inducing- idea. "Y/N," he stammered.

"Yeah, man?"

"If the whole thing with you dating females doesn't work out, but you still want to try to find love, then I know exactly who you should date next."

Y/N gave Chris a questionable look. He didn't say anything back, just raised an eyebrow and grinned mischievously. It took Y/N a few seconds to understand what Chris was talking about. But once she did, her mouth went into an O shape, showing her shock and surprise.

"Are you serious, Evans," Y/N exclaimed; eyes now wide as golf balls. "You wanna date me!?!"

The actor chuckled. He didn't think that his friend would be so shocked by his words. "I've been wanting to date you basically almost ever since we first met, Y/N. I just- -I just never knew what to say to you about it, or if you felt the same way or not and if you didn't then I didn't want to ruin our friendship, or if you did feel the dame way but then something bad happens to us down the road and then that messes with up our friendship and then there's the thing with paparazzi..." Chris was rambling on and on but Y/N was listening to everything he was saying. Hanging onto every word that was coming out of her best friend's mouth.

Y/N had never known that Chris had felt this way about her. It wasn't that she was completely oblivious (well, maybe a little), but she also never saw any signs of her friend being in love with her. Wait. Was Chris in love with Y/N? As far as she knew -or as far as she thought from what she was told so far- this was just a crush. A crush confession that apparently was a long time coming. She wondered how she felt for Chris; did she have the same feelings for him like he did for her? When they first met, all Y/N cared about was how Chris acted as a person, not as Captain America or as an actor in general. But as Chris Evans, an everyday man. Y/N knew, after that one day of meeting Evans, that she wanted to be best friends with the man, nothing more and nothing less. But now, with Chris' confession and continuous ramblings, Y/N was having different and a little bit confusing thoughts.

Sure Chris Evans is an very attractive man, physically speaking. But Y/N doesn't care about looks -much- when it comes to dating or anything for that matter. She thinks what makes people attractive is their personality more than anything, and she knows Chris has the best personality she's ever seen from a person. But she wasn't sure if she was ready to date him or anyone else for that matter. Although, if Y/N was going to date more, then Chris would probably be her number one pick.

"So, what do you say, Y/N," Chris asked, hopeful.

______________________________________________________________

And that's the end of part 1, everyone. Part 2 will be posted....probably next week or so. It is currently one of my WIPs so I'm definitely working on it.

But what do ya'll think will happen next? What will Y/N's answer to Chris be? Will she say yes, or will she say no? Who knows??? Except for me; I know. Also, you're Y/N; Y/N is you, so you better hope that you say something positive back :P Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this! Thanks for reading!!

#chris evans #chris evans imagine #chris evans smut #angst #black writing #black reader #chris evans x black!reader #friends to lovers #chris evans fanfiction #christopher robert jamal evans

[aro-is-gay-af]

The Midnight of Despair | Volturi Kings x fem!reader

As you all can see, I got carried away just a little with this one. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm planning at least part two, since this part got soooo long.

Anyway!

I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing. Sorry for any grammatical errors, as well as any confusion with syntax. English isn't my native but I always try my best! Constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Please, pay attention to the warnings. If you are uncomfortable with any of the topics, simply do not read.

I pictured here Aro from the films (as Michael Sheen is perfect for this part), Caius from the films (maybe a little bit older) and Marcus from the films but his younger self (maybe 20?). Also, I wrote at one point that [Y/N] has blonde hair and blue eyes but it just helped me with the descriptions. Obviously, you can picture characters according to your wishes.

Warnings: Rape (graphic description!), Depression, PTSD, Swear words, Forced Pregnancy

Word count: 7816 (!)

Summary: [Y/N] and Bella are childhood friends. They were always there for each other. [Y/N] had tough times and struggles with everyday life. Bella faces depression after Edward had left her. [Y/N] tries to get her going and alive. One day [Y/N] is raped and gets pregnant with the rapist. Not long after that it turns out that Edward got himself into the mess with Volturi. [Y/N], even traumatized and in pieces, will not let Bella go without her supervision to Italy. What is going to happen when [Y/N] will stay at Volterra? Is she really predestined to be Kings' mate? Is she going to have her baby or abort the pregnancy? Will the trauma go away or is she going to struggle for a long time?

You thought that the death of your parents was enough to break you. As they say, if you’re not willing to bend, you’ll break. And you did. After all.

Ever since you’ve been born, everything went downhill. You were a weak child and within your first five years of life, you’ve gone through countless surgeries. Something was terribly wrong with your spine and the doctors were worried that you wouldn't be able to move normally.

You got your ‘happily ever after’. After fourteen surgeries and taking more than a dozen medications, you could be considered healthy. It made you remember the better part of your childhood. At this point, you couldn’t even recall constant visits at hospital or ingesting enormous amount of drugs.

What you could recall, was the agony that your mom went through while dying of pancreatic cancer. You tried to help her but there was literally no help available. Sure, chemo did help, but only a little tiniest bit. When someone got this type of cancer, there was only one way to die. It was neither pretty, nor pleasant.

So your mother died when you were sixteen. Your father followed shortly after her. He suffered from severe depression after your mother’s passing, but it was the car accident that got him killed. You were just before your graduation.

You’ve finished school and tried to go on. It wasn’t exactly an easy path to follow. You had the feeling that fate had made you its whore and the devil knows his jokes. Somehow, you got through college. You used the money from your dad's insurance policy entirely for your education. It was the only thing you could do to secure your future.

At 22, you got a job at the same hospital where doctor Cullen worked. You were a nurse on the paediatrics ward, but the hospital in Forks was so small that you often found yourself working with doctor Cullen. He was always kind to you and exuded a fatherly warmth. However, like everyone from Cullen family, he was slightly withdrawn from all conversations and social activities.

You noticed a slight change in his behaviour when your best friend, Bella, started dating with the doctor's youngest son, Edward. Carlisle has been talking to you more and more. The conversations weren't long – more like short exchanges of words, whether about his family’s well-being or any leisure activities both of you devoted yourselves after work. Nevertheless, you started calling each other by the others’ given name.

You met with Bella on average once a week. Sure, you were four years older than her, but the age difference never was a problem. You always got along well, and age had nothing to do with it. With time, you've watched Bella thrive during her relationship with Edward and you've enjoyed her happiness. Your relationship had loosened a little, but you didn't hold it against her. With Forks being so small, you could easily meet Bella on the street or in a shop and talk to her about silly things or this boyfriend of hers. It made her blush furiously every time you brought up the topic, especially if Edward waited nearby.

And then, just like that, something snapped. Of course, you heard about their huge quarrel about god knows what, and that Bella wanted to make herself scarce immediately. Charlie called you that night if , by any chance, you could talk some sense into her. Bella not once picked up her phone and then she got her stupid ass into the hospital. And magically reconciled with Edward. That’s when you started to be suspicious. Something wasn’t right about this situation, at all, but you let it be.

Time passed and even though you liked Carlisle as a colleague, you became gradually suspicious about him and his family. Things that you noticed were little, almost insignificant, but something told you that there’s more than meets the eye. Bella herself began to limit contact with you, mainly due to her lack of time for Edward. But when you did get a chance to meet and talk, the subject of Edward still came to the surface.

You tried to understand your friend, while not understanding her at all. You also were in love once but your mother's illness and then your father's death took too much of a toll on you, to experience your first love in such an intense way. It was incomprehensible to you, how Bella could lose her head so much for this boy. And yet you tried, tried to be there when Bella needed you the most. Simply because you were a good friend and also because you needed a friend.

You were left alone, out in this world, with no one to care about and no one to love. Only Bella, as present and, most importantly, alive person, connected you with your childhood and good memories from that time. She was the only one left. You considered her your family and you didn’t want to lose her too. Not after all you’ve been through.

At the day of her birthday, you saw her quickly after her school. You gave her a small gift and you both agreed to meet a day later because Edward's family had invited her to stay at their place. After that birthday, everything changed. The next day Bella went missing. You went to her house exactly as agreed and Charlie said she had been gone for a few hours.

When Bella was found later that evening by Sam, Charlie's colleague, everything became frighteningly clear. The Cullens had moved out of town. Apparently, Carlisle had gotten a lucrative job somewhere else. That didn't surprise you, he was a really great doctor. But how could he not mention a word of it to you? Not that you were so close to him but you considered him a good comrade of yours and moving out of town like this, without a word… It seemed extremely strange to you.

The months that followed were very similar. Bella fell into a deep depression and apathy. You came to visit her, but during these visits it was mainly you who talked. You talked about work, about your next qualification course and about the anniversary of your mum's death. Bella mostly remained silent. Charlie confirmed that, yes, she did go to school, but apart from that, she sat in her room all day and stared at the window.

You knew from Charlie that she was slowly trying to reconnect with her friends. And that she was spending a lot of time with that boy from the reservation. You were happy because it meant that your friend was slowly coming back to life. Maybe not back to normal, not yet, but at least she was trying. And you were trying too. To be a good friend, a good sister to her.

You started talking more during your visits at her house. Unlike before, the subject of Edward didn't exist. It was as if he had never existed. So you did not mention him at all. Bella was healing, slowly, just as you were, when both of your parents died. She was there for you, even if you could only talk to her on the phone because, at that time, she permanently lived with Renee.

For the first time in several months, you hoped that things would somehow work out. In your life, the moments when you were truly happy never lasted long. It was the same this time. One day, you went to Port Angeles to buy new clothes for work. Yours were still from your university days, worn out, but not so long ago you were short of money and preferred to spend it on other things rather than buying new clothes.

By the time you got back to your car it was pretty late. The car park was deserted. On your way to the car, a man accosted you and, before you knew it, he had hit you on the head with something heavy. When you woke up, you were in a squalid alley. The man was pressing you against a wall with all his strength. You only realised what he was going to do, when you felt a cool breeze brush against your bare legs. Your trousers and underwear were almost at your ankles. You started to squirm, trying to free yourself from his iron grip. You heard his quiet giggle next to your ear.

"Don't resist angel, I’ll be quick," he whispered in your ear, pawing at your breasts with his left hand. You felt sick to your stomach. He had hideous breath, as if he had been drinking for three days, then puked and drank again. You started to jerk harder, to pull away, but it only caused you pain. He held tight, pushing against you with his whole body and whispering disgusting things under his breath. When he finally entered you, he tugged hard on your hair. He made no effort to cover your mouth because you didn't even try to scream. You were out of breath, unable to say a word. You were afraid that he would kill you. You wanted him to go away so that the pain would end and you could finally go home.

When he finished, he let you go and just walked away. You stood there, half naked, frozen and shaken, for god knows how long. You were unable to move. When you felt his semen running down your leg, you finally managed to vomit. Your cheek was bruised and scratched from how hard he pressed you against the rough wall. You wanted to go home, but you didn't have the strength to get up from the street.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but you finally got up. You got dressed and walked to your car. Everything hurt. You didn't want to, but you knew, you had to go to the hospital. You could not leave it like that. He had already hurt you, but what about the others? You couldn't let that happen. All the way to the hospital in Port Angeles your hands were trembling. Returning to that memory, you didn't even remember how you got to the ER.

At the hospital, they took care of you properly. They called the police. Two female doctors were there for a medical examination. The nurses were very nice. You tried to put on a good face. You've thought about how your sexual experiences has been so far. Your first sex, like most people's, was terrible. Your boyfriend was two years older, you were 17 and it all went wrong. You were in pain. He didn't seem too happy either. Up until you graduated from high school, you tried to make it work somehow, but there were never any fireworks. It wasn't until college that you discovered the good side of sex.

However, you never had sex with someone you loved more than life. You haven't met anyone like that. And you were sure that sex with that person would be unique and exceptional. Until now, of course. Lying on a hospital bed, you felt exploited. Abused. Filthy. Humiliated. How can one do something like that to another person? The nurse asked if someone could come and pick you up, and you didn't have much of a choice. You called Bella. While she was on her way to the hospital, you let the police officers question you. You mechanically slurred the words as if it wasn't about you at all. As if it wasn’t you that had been raped.

As soon as you saw Bella, you were no longer able to pretend that nothing had happened. You were sobbing and she hugged you tight, telling you that he would pay for it. You weren't so sure about that. You wanted to be home as soon as possible, so you went back to Forks. Bella said nothing while driving because there was nothing that could be said. In the shower, you scrubbed yourself so hard with the pumice that you thought you had taken off all your skin. To your absolute disgust, you could still feel his touch on you. You could hear him whisper against your ear and you could smell his hideous breath.

A week has passed. Bella texted you every day, and you were able to hang out almost every other day. She was a good sister, a great friend. She didn't want to leave you alone in this. Despite being offered leave, you went to work. You didn't want to keep thinking about what happened. Each time, after taking a bath, you were unable to look in the mirror. On the first day, right after scrubbing, you decided to take a look. You had bruises on your stomach, thighs, buttocks and breasts. Your forearms were scraped, your cheek was scratched and bruised. The worst of it was that you had been bleeding for days. The gynaecologist said, it was due to too much force, and the fact that you actively resisted for a while.

You were trying to get back to normal. You went to work, you were seeing Bella and taking your course. But no one could touch you. You didn't even shake hands to say hello. You didn't care at all, you couldn’t endure a touch anymore. Not in any way. You didn't get your period, but the doctor said it could happen. It was a shock to the body and a lot of pain to bear. Also, you bled for almost a week after the rape.

You started to be afraid to go out alone. When in a shop or at work, if anyone approached you from behind, you started panicking and hyperventilating. You couldn’t walk ordinarily on the street. You looked behind every two or three minutes to assure yourself that nobody was following you. Your hands trembled while driving the car or making the tea. Your eyes were starting to water as soon as someone even tried to touch you. You had nightmares and you started losing your mind because of this.

When your period did not come in the following month, you began to worry. Surely you couldn't get pregnant with this... monster. Not you. Of course you have checked. You would not be able to live in such ignorance. It turned out that yes, you indeed were pregnant. When the doctor confirmed it, you fainted. Not you, not like that. You didn't even think you'd ever be a mum. Let alone like this. You hated your body even more and the fact that it had betrayed you in such a villainous way.

You knew this path led to madness. You were in an even worse mental condition, than after losing your mum; than after dad died in the accident. You have shed countless tears. You didn't want to abort this pregnancy, and at the same time you wanted it with all your heart. If only you were able to defend yourself. Break away from him and run as far away as possible. It would never have happened. But you were weak and didn't even have the energy to scream. Would it have made any difference though?

You were constantly beating yourself up with thoughts about whether you should keep the baby, when something completely bizarre happened. Jacob called you that he had to rescue Bella after jumping off a cliff. Annoyed, you got in your car and drove up to the Swans' house. Bella's car wasn't there, so you waited patiently in yours. When they arrived, you were boiling with rage.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?!” you shouted, as you got out of the car.

Bella rolled her eyes. She looked miserable. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was soaked through. She smiled weakly towards you.

“It was just for fun, you know” she muttered, as you hugged her tightly. It was your first closer contact since…

“It was just for sport,” she tried again.

You snorted in annoyance.

“Yeah, sure, get inside before you get sick.”

As you both stepped onto the porch, Jacob unexpectedly grabbed Bella's wrist. They shared a look.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. You can go now, Jake,” she muttered, trying to disentangle herself from his grasp.

You smiled weakly at him, while Bella was looking for her keys.

“Cool, I'll take care of her until Charlie gets back. Thanks for saving her stupid ass,” you said. Jacob smiled amused, but still seemed slightly tense.

“No problem. Always at your service,” he joked. “Well... See ya around,” he said goodbye and walked away to his car.

You walked into the house with Bella.

“What were you thinking? You could have died” you muttered under your breath, stripping off your jacket.

“Well...actually I wasn't thinking, like, at all” Bella admitted, smiling apologetically at you.

“Next time think about Charlie,” you said, hugging her once more. Your body screamed that you shouldn't do that, but you were glad that Bella was okay.

While Bella changed into dry clothes, you made hot tea for both of you. Someone knocked on the door. The knocking was not from the front, but from the courtyard. You walked slowly to the door and opened it. Edward's sister, Alice, stood in front of you. You wouldn't have known what she looked like, if Bella hadn't shown you pictures of her. But other than that, you knew quite a bit about her, because when Bella was still with Edward, she couldn’t kept her mouth shut about Alice.

“Hi. Can I come in?” she asked politely. She tried to look normal, but there was something in her behaviour that made you nervous. You were about to reply, when Bella appeared in the kitchen.

“Alice!” she squealed, throwing herself around the brunette's neck. After a moment, she pulled away and looked at Alice in disbelief. "Are you really here? Or am I just dreaming this?" asked Bella.

It was your turn to roll the eyes.

“Of course she’s here” you said, now slightly annoyed. “Don’t be bothered by me, please, proceed to whatever you wanted to say.”

Your sarcastic tone was not intended, but justified. You were slowly beginning to get fed up with this family's games. First they move out and turn Bella's life upside down, and now the big comeback? Something's not right here. Besides, at that moment, you weren't the right person to play with. You had enough problems of your own and your life was messed up enough. What you didn't know at that moment, was that everything was about to change fundamentally very soon.

Alice took no notice of you.

"Bella, listen. Edward thinks you committed suicide. He told me that he doesn't want to live either, so he is on his way to the Volturi to ask them for an execution."

You had no idea what she was talking about. Bella was terrified, and you didn't know what was going on here.

"What, who the fuck are Volturi? Did Edward get involved with some cult? Also, how did he know Bella killed herself?" you asked, not understanding anything of what Alice was talking about earlier.

"We have to go to Italy, Bella,” she ignored you once more. “If they refuse him, I'm not sure what he'll do" as Alice spoke, Bella began to gather herself quickly to leave.

You grabbed her hand.

"And where do you think you are going?" you asked in disbelief. Bella looked at you apologetically.

"Y/N, I have to go. They're going to murder him. Just the fact that I'm alive will convince him."

You snorted in disbelief.

"You're dead serious? And can't you call him and tell him it's a misunderstanding? Besides, Bella, this guy ghosted you. He left you here, alone, with not one explanation and you want to fly to the other side of the world to save this dumb ass?" you asked, trying to take your mind off this ludicrous circumstance.

“Oh my god, we’ll take her with us if she’s not going to back down” said Alice in exasperation.

“And to your kind information, I won't back down. Your douchebag brother and the rest of your family turned her adrift. I was the one who pulled her out of her depression, and I will not let the exact same thing happen again because of any of you,”you hissed out in anger. You saw something in Alice's eyes that you considered to be admiration.

You looked at Bella expectantly.

“Y/N, I still love him. I cannot let this go” Bella whispered and you felt as your chest tightened. “Please…”

You heaved a heavy sigh.

“Okey, but I’m coming with you,” you decided and noticed that Alice's eyes were momentarily clouded with mist. You had no idea what was going on here, but you were sure that this whole affair with the Volturi, whoever the hell they were, didn't sound good.

After a few seconds, Alice looked at Bella, then at you and back at Bella.

“Get your coats, we have to go now,” she said.

“But Alice...” protested Bella.

“There's no time for that. We'll explain everything to her on the way. If we start now, we won't get out of here until noon” she muttered exasperatedly, walking out of the house. You looked at Bella.

“Bells, what's this all about?” you asked, and she just sighed quietly. You both quickly got your shoes on.

“We'll tell you on the plane but I'm afraid the Volturi won't like that a lot,” she said with worried expression on her face.

When you were at the airport waiting for a plane, you had countless questions in your head. Why the fuck Edward was pulling such nonsense? Why to be so dramatic about thing that didn’t even happen? Did this idiot really get involved in some sort of cult? And why was his sister so concerned about it that she decided to tell you ‘everything’, whatever needed to be said? However, the question that kept you wondering was who were the mysterious Volturi and what could they possibly resent about you?

One thing you were sure of. There hadn't been a moment since the sexual assault when you hadn't thought about it. And now your thoughts were occupied by the mysterious Volturi and you immensely wanted to find out what it was really all about.

⋎⋎⋎

On a plane ride, you found out that vampires are no fairy tales and your best friend was in love with one. It was a wild thought but, as soon as Alice started taking, you knew it wasn’t a joke. You were given so much information at once that you were unable to respond to anything as Alice finished her long monologue. You had a drink of water, although at that moment you very much regretted not being able to drink whisky.

“Okey, lets say I get most of this…” you said with a low voice, trying to be careful with what you’re saying. “But can you tell me who are Volturi and why would they want to decapitate Edward?” you asked, looking sideways, afraid that someone might hear.

Alice let out a sigh.

“The Volturi are the equivalent of the justice system in our world. They are the ones who created the laws that help us hide from the world, and they are the ones who enforce them. They consider themselves… sort of royalty, as their leaders – Aro, Caius and Marcus – are over three thousand years old.”

If you were to be honest, you were not very good at processing this information. Three thousand years? The first thought that popped into your mind was that they must be immensely lonely. You were sure you wouldn't want to live so many years without having anyone worthy by your side. Later, Alice quickly summarised all the laws that every vampire must obey. They weren't complicated, but when you thought about it a little longer, some of them weren't so easy to follow.

“I don't want to whine, or come off as ungrateful or anything like that, but... didn't you just break the law? By telling me about you?” you asked cautiously, not knowing if what you were saying was right.

Alice sighed again, this time heavier than before.

“It’s complicated” she said succinctly, which interested Bella, who was eating some kind of sandwich.

“This vision of yours was about [Y/N]?” she asked Alice curiously. Alice merely nodded. When Alice told you about her gift, and this was at the very beginning of the story, you found it hard to believe. It wasn’t so unbelievable now.

"Eat something," Alice said to you. "It's good for the baby" she added after a moment, seeing you hesitate. You swallowed heavily, as you suddenly felt sick. The memories of that evening came back.

Alice smiled softly, as if knowing exactly what you were thinking about. And this was supposed to be Edward's gift.

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" she asked, and your eyes almost fell out.

"Can you predict that?" you asked in disbelief. She and Bella both smiled. Alice nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, sure. I can't predict if the baby... you know, if it will be born, however, the sex I can tell you.”

You pondered on it, while eating your sandwich. The nausea eased, when you could think of something different than that unlucky evening. Before you knew it, you fell asleep and Alice woke you up when you landed in Italy. As Alice drove the stolen car, you tried to admire the beautiful views of Tuscany outside your window. When you had almost reached Volterra, you thought how wonderful it would be to live here.

⋎⋎⋎

This stupid boyfriend of hers. That was all his fault. Of course, Bella made it at the last minute. You, together with Alice, went to abandon the stolen car somewhere. Although, you had a feeling that you would be returning the exact same way. You tried to reassure yourself. Of course you’ll be returning. Or maybe not? If you were honest, you gave no fucks about it. You had no one who’d wait for you at home, your parents died, you were brutally raped not so long ago, and you didn’t even know if you wanted to keep the baby. Maybe dying today isn’t such a bad idea?

You have reached the square and entered the palace at a very convenient time. The guy who looked like a wardrobe and the other one, much shorter than him and blonde, looked like they were about to murder Edward in this instant. And actually, you felt like you could’ve murdered Edward too. Barely Alice closed the door, you didn't even glance at the two of them, but immediately began to scold Edward for what he had done. To hell with his gift!

“You stupid, immature, irresponsible, reckless and selfish bastard!” you started descriptively, and even Bella was taken aback by your behaviour. Alice raised her eyebrows and two other vampires looked at themselves and then straight at you. Edward had no time for any reply. “If you ever, I repeat, if you ever again do something as childish and irresponsible as expose my best friend to a nervous breakdown and months of depression, I promise you, here and now, that I will decapitate you myself. You're old, and yet a five-year-old child is smarter than you. You utter imbecile,” you hissed with hatred.

Of course, your malice towards him was temporary, but it's been a long time since anyone has angered you like that. The shorter man laughed under his breath, and the other one, who looked like a wardrobe, said:

“Can we keep her? I like the way she’s ruling the roost.”

He fell silent, as a short, pretty blonde woman entered the room. Her face was like a child's, but her eyes... bright red, staring at no one else but you.

“Jane” greeted her Edward. She didn’t even look at him.

“Aro sent me to see what was taking so long” she said. The atmosphere immediately became tense. Edward and Alice seemed to stiffen at the sound of Aro's name. You were curious but not frightened. Not yet.

Jane turned and immediately started walking towards the long corridor. Bella just looked at Edward, and you glanced at Alice.

“Do what she says,” she muttered to you and you both kept pace with the couple in the front.

Needless to say, it was the most stressful and also the most terrifying lift ride you've ever experienced. Not to add the creepy music background. You guessed it was supposed to make you feel better, but instead it made your whole stomach go up to your throat. You were standing right in the middle, next to Bella, holding Alice's hand. The vampire, who looked like a wardrobe, kept looking at you. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. Puking on someone's shoes isn't going to make this situation any better. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Edward smile. Yeah, the situation you’ve found yourself in was extremely funny indeed.

When you reached the main chamber, you didn't know what to look at first. At the vampires standing against every wall? Not very wise of you. At the marble floor? Nothing to be afraid of for now, so no. You probably should have looked at the three thrones in front of you and the vampires that sat on them, but instead, you were interested in the Latin phrase engraved between the columns above you.

You glanced at your company. Edward looked as if he was about to die. Maybe that's what's going to happen? Alice looked very out of sorts, and Bella, well, she was hanging onto Edward's arm and also looked like she was about to leave this world for good. She was unnaturally pale and you though she was going to faint any second. But it never happened. The rest of the room felt extremely comfortable. For a moment, you turned your head towards the boy who called out to Jane. You did not let go of Alice's hand but you did not feel any anxiety. Curiosity prevailed, mainly because you had come to terms with the fact of your imminent death.

“Sister! Sent you out to get one and you bring back two. And two halves,” the boy who’s just called Jane his sister probably was talking about me and Bella. “Such a clever girl,” he praised her like he wasn’t his sister but someone else entirely. You sighed heavily. Maybe they’re also into incest-kind-of-relationships? Who knows. You looked above your head again. There was a short inscription “vita brevis, ars longa” but you knew the rest of it. Latin was obligatory in every medical school.

When the man from the middle throne stood up, it was to him that you directed all your attention. You felt that something about him was... you had no idea how to describe it, but you felt a strange pull towards him. As if some invisible force had power over you.

“What a happy surprise!” he said pointedly, wide smile on his face. “Bella is alive after all. Isn’t that wonderful?” he said cheerfully, while walking towards Edward. At that exact moment, you realised that you had managed to get yourself into a huge mess. The lair of the vampires. And you were only a weak human. Recently raped. With a baby under your heart.

As soon as the man stepped down from the platform, you were unable to take your eyes off him. His posture, the way he spoke, his demeanour, it all made you feel incredible respect for him. You’ve never felt this secure and calm in your entire life.

“I love a happy ending,” the man said, while he took Edwards’ hand into his. “They’re so rare.”

You were wondering why this man took Edward’s hand in the first place. You did not have to wait long for an explanation.

“Aro can read every thought that I’ve ever had. With one touch” Edward explained to Bella but you were listening too. Very carefully listening. You’ve finally managed to know the name of the vampire. Aro. It suited him well. Although his eyes were a little scary, you were delighted with his charisma and approach to guests. You realised that indeed, they are called the royal family for a reason.

Aro smiled to Edward.

“Her blood appears to you so much,” he whispered, and you had a hard time hearing his words well. Aro’s gaze rested on Bella. “It makes me thirsty. How can you stand to be so close to her?” he asked Edward, who was feeling more and more uncomfortable. You could tell by the fact that he was practically standing like a statue.

“It is not without difficulty,” muttered Edward from behind his clenched teeth.

You swallowed hard, as Aro turned his gaze to Bella again but he smiled.

“Ah, I can see that” he said pleased, moving away from Edward and focusing all his attention on Bella.

“Although you’re a quite soul-reader yourself, Edward, you cannot read Bella’s thoughts” he made a rather dramatic pause, still staring stubbornly at your best friend. “Fascinating” he said, not hiding his curiosity.

You managed to look elsewhere, than at Aro. The man on the throne to your left seemed unusually agitated. He fixed his gaze on you, as if his life depended on it, yet you did not feel uncomfortable. You were surprised to discover that an invisible force was also drawing you towards him. You almost took a step forward. You tried to remember the man from a few minutes ago. He looked as if he had died in that chair a few centuries ago. And now he seemed genuinely moved.

“Brother” the man spoke to Aro, as he got up from his throne. Indeed, there seemed to be an urgency to the matter, for Aro turned around in surprise. You had the impression that the man from the throne had not risen from it for a long time.

“You knew about this, and you brought her anyway?” you heard Edward's quiet whisper, directed at Alice.

Alice looked at her brother, then at you and finally at a curious Aro.

"It would have happened anyway. Better sooner than later" Alice murmured mysteriously. You still didn't know what it was even about. The third man, the one on your right, did not share his brothers' patience.

"Aro, let's hurry this up, Heidi will be here soon, and we don't want to frighten our guests" he said ominously, grinning like a madman. You were far from solving this riddle, but as soon as you looked at him, you felt the same attraction and enigmatic pulling as towards the other two.

Aro took his brother's hand in his own and you could see that his eyes would have lit up with happiness if they could.

“Ah, my dear Marcus! What an exceptional news!” intoned Aro cheerfully, heading towards you. He was slow in his movements, exactly so that you would not be frightened by him. All his movements were framed by an incredible grace.

“My dear, if I may, what is your name?” he asked, coming closer to you. You were unable to take your eyes off him. It was exactly, as if he had hypnotised you, only the feeling was more addictive. You didn't have to have a gift or to be a vampire to know that. For a split second, you ran out of breath and just stared into his red irises.

“My name is [Y/N]” you said, with your voice trembling, as your throat tightened hard under the intense emotions. You couldn't believe it was really happening. Maybe it was just a dream? Maybe these three beautiful men are just a figment of your imagination? You didn't even want to think about the fact that it might not be true.

Aro smiled encouragingly, while looking at you with all the attention that he’d possibly give you. You felt like nothing more was more important than you to him at that exact moment.

"It is an incredible pleasure to meet you, [Y/N]. I am Aro, but you already know that.”

The smile never left his face and during this brief exchange of words, neither of you took your eyes off the other. You felt that the atmosphere in the room had changed. Aro extended his alabaster hand in an inviting gesture.

“May I, my dear?” he asked you politely.

You gulped. Of course, you wanted to show him that you didn't want to give away their secret. You wanted to show him the strange bond you felt towards him and his brothers. However, there were things you didn't want him to see. You felt deep down inside that this attraction had an explanation and you didn't want him to see... Not that. You’d felt exposed and extremely embarrassed. There was also another issue. His hand. You'd hugged Bella twice since it happened and just now you were holding Alice's hand. You didn't know if, when you touched him, you'd start screaming or crying because you were so afraid of someone else's touch.

Yet, his hand looked so inviting, almost familiar, as if you'd already had the chance to touch it before. Aro himself showed no impatience. He waited, still gazing into your blue irises with his crimson eyes. You extended your hand towards him, at first cautiously, and then with a little more confidence. You took a deep breath, before your fingers made contact. When it happened, you felt as if you had come home after many years of wandering. He closed your hand in his, just as he had done with Edward's. His skin was cold, but he handled you extremely gently. You stared into his eyes as he looked at your thoughts and memories of your whole life. You knew instantly when he was done because he smiled sadly at you. He squeezed your hand gently in his.

"Never again, my love. Never again," he assured passionately, and then he leaned down to place a kiss on your hand. It was so light and as gentle as a breeze on a summer day. You couldn't help but smile.

Aro clapped his hands. He was clearly pleased with what had just happened between you.

"Aro, will you explain to me what's going on? I'm sick of waiting," said the nervous brother, who was the only one with blond hair. Aro smiled widely and turned towards him.

"Ah, Caius, you'll never guess. Finally, after so many years, our mate has honoured us with her presence" he said overjoyed and Caius frowned in awe. You were already able to tell that this did not happen often. Marcus, on the other hand, was sitting on his throne, smiling, still looking in your direction. You didn't miss the glances of the other vampires either. Was it some sort of celebration when Marcus was smiling?

“What does that mean?” it was Bella who snapped that question. Aro immediately appeared by her side. He gently stroked her hair, pulling an unruly strand behind her ear. You felt the sting of jealousy, when he touched her face. You should be the one asking that question and not her.

“Ah, and dear Isabella. What to do with you,” he wondered aloud, as if asking others for advice. “As I have far more important matters to deal with....” he began, looking directly at you. “I’d love to see if you’re an exception to my gift as well,” he whispered to Bella, extending his hand towards her. She didn't have much choice, did she? She took his hand, a little hesitantly, but after a short while Aro moved away.

“Interesting” he muttered. “I see nothing.”

“You already know what you’ll do with her, Aro” said Marcus, his eyes never leaving your person. “Just do it, as we want to know our little angel a bit more.”

You looked at Bella for a moment. She was terrified, not only with her own case, but also with yours. You have already guessed that you are not going anywhere. They would never let you out of their hands. Aro knew perfectly well that you didn't even have anything to go back to. Of course, you had plenty of questions, but you were sure it wasn't about your case now. Just about Bella's situation and what the Cullens had done, or rather what they hadn't done. However, you guessed it, Bella was afraid you wouldn't get out of here alive, and at the same time, you were worried about the exact same thing but about her.

Aro was smiling continuously.

“I have an idea” he said, after a long while. He approached Alice this time. “Would you be so kind, dear, and show me if you saw Bella's transformation in your vision?”

You were smart enough to know that it wasn’t a request. Alice undid her glove and boldly gave Aro her hand. He was absent for a moment and then smiled again. You were impressed by the aura he spread around himself. When he smiled, you felt like smiling too. You still had the impression that it was only a dream, and simultaneously you were sure that it was really happening. Aro's touch was definitely real, you couldn’t forget his cool hands embracing your own.

“Ah, lovely. I know everything now,” he declared. You and Bella probably looked similarly confused, but you weren't the least bit concerned and she was as pale as a sheet.

Aro turned directly to Edward.

“As I have seen Isabella's transformation in Alice's vision, I can let you go with peace of mind, my dear young friends. I trust that a date will be set sooner, rather than later and that I will be able to see for myself, what your mate will be capable of, Edward. As for you, Isabella, you are promising immortal material and I hope your potential will not go to waste," he said, this time speaking directly to Bella.

She was still brave enough to look him in the eye.

“And what with [Y/N]? You never mentioned what will happen to her” she noticed, looking in your direction. You smiled gently to her.

“I’m staying here, Bella” you said calmly, trying to reassure her with your tone of voice that all shall be all right.

You saw pure admiration and joyousness on Aro’s face as you said that.

“Isn’t she remarkable, brothers?” he asked Marcus and Caius, who looked as if they had just received the most beautiful Christmas present.

Bella seemed to be thoroughly outrageous.

“You can’t be serious [Y/N]! You cannot stay here, please, come back with us. You cannot be here while you’re pregnant” she cried, holding your hand and looking at you with disbelief.

What she said made you very uncomfortable and extremely upset.

"Bella, I have nothing to go back to. My parents are dead. You knew that if Alice told me everything, it would have to be resolved somehow," you stated matter-of-factly, squeezing her hand in yours. "I can't go back there, Bells." Your throat tightened with despair as memories of recent events flooded inside your mind. You tried to hold back tears.

"I am a shadow of my former self. I'm afraid to leave the house alone to go shopping or to work. This paranoia is overwhelming me, Bella. I keep turning behind me to see if anyone is following me on the street. I cry at night, knowing that it doesn't change anything. And then there's this unfortunate baby," you sighed helplessly, trying not to burst with tears. "Even if I keep it, I don't want it to have a mother who's afraid to leave the house. I can't live like this, we both know that" you whispered, squeezing her hands in yours again.

“But you cannot possibly be mated with all three of them” Bella whispered with despair in her eyes. You only smiled, sensing that this sentence got on Kings’ nerves, especially Caius’s.

“I think it’s predestined, Bella. Just as you are destined to be with Edward, I do belong here, with my mates” you said cautiously, glancing at Aro and looking for approval in his eyes. He was only looking at you with delight, as he said nothing.

You saw that Bella had hard time processing such information, whilst Edward and Alice said nothing at all. You knew that Alice knew prior about this, and Edward could see the vision in her thoughts. You pulled Bella into a comfortable hug.

“Hey, sister, we don’t see each other the very last time. We’ll meet again. Probably in a different…condition but still.”

Bella looked devastated.

“You promise me that?” she asked warily, her tone full of hope. You smiled at her.

“Of course I do.” You kissed her cheek and caressed her long, brown hair. “We can call each other, you know. It’s not like I’m moving to the Moon,” you joked, to release the tension a bit. To your astonishment, everybody in the room laughed at that. It made you blush, just a little tiny bit.

After another farewell, in which this time you also included Alice and Edward (barely, because you were still mad at him) and an official farewell from Aro, who told them to give his friend kind regards from him, the guests left the chamber.

They left, and Aro was immediately by your side. He gently stroked your long blonde hair, but didn't touch a single piece of a skin. After the display of your memories, he probably knew very well that you did not wish any touch for the time being.

You still couldn't free yourself from under his spell and if you were to be honest, you didn't want to at all. Aro offered you his arm.

"I believe, we have much to discuss, my love."

You took his arm gratefully.

"I have a ton of questions," you admitted as you walked out of the chamber with Marcus and Caius slowly following you. You didn't need to look back, the strange bonds that drew you together informed you of their presence in a yet unknown way.

Aro, as usual, smiled magnificently.

"My dear, one thing at a time," he said in a gentle tone, as he patted your forearm with tenderness. When you entered the study with the round table, Aro immediately pushed back a chair for you.

"No one is to disturb us" you heard Caius' sharp tone as he closed the door behind you. You tried to feel comfortable and at ease. After all, this was your home from now on.

Part 2 | Part 3

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[juminsmysticmc]

Pregnancy Series - Part 2

Finding out 

Hope you like the second part of my pregnancy series! 

Click here to read Part 1!  

Jumin 

You dried your tears after you dried your hands with the towel next to you, observing the pregnancy test you just took in front of you.

You hated that one stick so much that whenever your period was late, your heart was beating in fear and not happiness.

One and a half years passed ever since you and Jumin began to try for a baby and there was still no baby.

You couldn’t bear seeing your husband’s sad face anymore whenever you gave him the news that you weren’t pregnant and that this was just a false alarm.

You were sure that this time too, the result wouldn’t be the one you hoped for.

A last glance on the clock made you look at the pregnancy test for the last time before you would toss it into the trash can since you had to get the breakfast ready for Jumin, but somehow this time, something was different.

Your heart was beating crazily in your chest as your cheeks grew warm.

You slowly placed your hand on your belly as you watched the results on the stick you hated so much.

,,Pregnant’’ it said.

You slowly sat back on the toilet, the pink stick between your hands as you read it again. ,,Pregnant,’’ you gasped, trying to gulp the tears away.

,,J-’’ you were about to call your husband when your brain decided to think about this logically.

What if the test is false and he gets excited?

And so, you instead decided to not say anything and instead put the test in your pocket to hide in a bag so that he wouldn’t see anything.

The first thing you would do, however, was go to the doctor after breakfast.

,,My love, I forgot that I have to meet a friend after breakfast. I know I shouldn’t come late as your second secretary, but-’’

Jumin kissed you as he took his bowl of rice.

,,You are my wife and are allowed to do anything. Do you need Driver Kim perhaps?’’ of course you declined and even though you knew, you just lied. You knew that this was going to protect him…

,,Six weeks pregnant, Mrs Han. Your pregnancy test wasn’t wrong,’’ the doctor told you after a checkup, making you tear up.

She then made you follow her to a room where she made an ultrasound and eventually gave you your first picture of your baby.

The doctor explained the next steps, telling you that she wanted to see you regularly.

,,I’m so happy that you finally are here on your way and you did well. It's daddy’s birthday this weekend and you are already a perfect baby,’’ you sobbed as you looked around for some ideas for Jumin’s surprise...

Zen

,,I don’t think I can come today,’’ you groaned as you laid back as you just came back from throwing up into the toilet.

An acidic taste was left in your mouth, making you feel disgusting.

As if an upset stomach wasn’t enough, you even had a slight fever.

Your body felt weak and all you wanted to do was sleep, well, not that you could do anything else in this condition.

Your boyfriend looked concerned for you. The possibility of you being pregnant wasn’t even on his mind since the both of you finally gave up, wanting to wait again after so many failed attempts.

Well, Zen wanted to try more. It was more so you who couldn’t bear it mentally and so he stopped buying pregnancy tests.

,,It’s the time of the flu in February… well, I’ll stay with you,’’ Zen whispered and kissed your nose, feeling sad to see you so sick.

,,No,’’ you tried to stop him.

,,You need to go to work. It’s okay, I’ll sleep a bit and later when you are back, I will be better and I will be able to go to the doctor,’’ you told him, closing your eyes because right now everything was spinning in your head. You just wished for it to get better.

Zen hesitated, but agreed afterwards, giving you a last kiss. ,,I will come earlier, I mean, I took a holiday leave for tomorrow so I shouldn’t have much to do today,’’ he told you and quickly left as he was late for work.

You decided to close your eyes for a few seconds again before a big feeling of nausea hit you again, making you run to the toilet.

,,Ugh, I hate throwing up,’’ you silently cried to yourself as you tried to hold your own hair back.

It didn’t take you long until you decided to dial your doctor's number on your phone and ask for an appointment this afternoon.

,,Thank you, I will be there,’’ you said as the nurse asked you to come right away, making you groan in annoyance and get changed.

The weather was cold as you stepped out, closing the door behind you and walking towards the medical facility, rubbing your hands together as you were freezing.

,,Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day,’’ you remembered as you walked past a shop selling chocolate, remembering that you didn’t buy anything for your boyfriend yet.

,,Pretty lady! We even sell chocolate done with a picture chosen by you! Want to give it a try!? I bet you have a boyfriend!’’ a woman smiled at you, showing you pictures of white chocolate with edible photos printed on it.

You thanked her, telling her that you had to go somewhere and had no time.

A few streets away you arrived, putting your mask on and entering the building, telling the nurses that you had an appointment.

,,When I heard that you had a slight fever and felt nauseous, I knew immediately that you were pregnant!’’ the doctor smiled at you after she checked you up and took your blood sample, making you look in shock at her.

,,R-really? I am...expecting a baby?’’ you asked her, tears slowly coming up and rolling down your cheeks as she nodded.

You immediately called your gynecologist to make a second check and also see if you could already have a sonogram since suddenly you had a very good idea. 

,,Ajumma,’’ you said with a teary face to the woman who wanted to sell you chocolate earlier.

The woman looked concerned at first, but quickly began to tear up herself as you held up a picture.

,,I just got this good news. Will you help me surprise this baby’s father?’’ you asked her.

Yoosung

Soon, you and Yoosung would celebrate your eighth wedding anniversary.  

You were currently sitting in front of the window, thinking about everything the both of you achieved until now.

A lot.

Yoosung had a stable job, you worked with the RFA, both of you had your own big house with a beautiful garden. Your relationship and marriage was the best, there wasn’t anything else you could wish for.  

Everything seemed perfect, if just that one little detail wasn’t missing.

A child.

Something you both could take care of and shower with love and affection as it grew up.

But some things weren’t meant to be. It was just too much for you to handle.

The disappointment you regularly had to face, the pain in your heart.

,,We should give up,“ you whispered as you kept looking outside of the window, tears in your eyes as you said these harsh words.

Giving up was something you would normally never do.

Yoosung hugged you from behind, knowing how much this situation was hurting you and how much this made you depressed.

,,I will be back for dinner,“ he whispered after a few seconds before he rubbed your arms and put on his jacket to step out on his way to work.

As soon as he was outside, you could finally let out that loud sob you held onto yourself to not make Yoosung pity you and cried alone in your room.

,,Ah, I need to go to the doctor today,’’ you groaned as you dried your tears with your palm, sighting and looking at your display as you calculated how much time you still had until you had to go there.

As soon as you arrived, you rolled your eyes in annoyance as you sat down in the waiting room, three pregnant women with their husbands on their side, smiling widely, feeling probably blessed. Today was a bad day.

You were truly happy for every pregnant woman in the waiting room, but seeing them made you angry and made you feel and think things you shouldn’t.

You were jealous, jealous that they achieved something you couldn’t achieve in all these eight years.

,,Mrs. Kim?“ the doctor called you, making you stop thinking about the women around you and instead look up at her.

Your doctor was smiling at you as she asked you to follow her, leading the way to her room where she asked you to sit down to talk to you.

,,How are you?“ she began, ready to listen as you told her that you wanted to give up on getting pregnant.

,,But before that I would like to check one last thing. Is that okay?“ she asked you, nodding as she typed something on her keyboard to note everything you guys talked about.

A bit annoyed, you watched her minutes later as she checked you, finally looking into your eyes, smiling at you.

,,Mrs. Kim, it seems that you are already pregnant. Five weeks,“ she smiled.

In disbelief you observed her, you could feel your eyes get teary. ,,But the last test-”

,,Sometimes they’re false, but you are pregnant,“ she cut you off.

While she talked about a few things you should keep an eye on, all you could think about was that tomorrow you and Yoosung had your anniversary and that this news was the best present you could give him, just like she just gave to you.

Jaehee

,,I just hope you are alright and that they can find out whether it is or isn’t Covid-19,“ Jaehee whispered as she looked out the window.

You weren’t with her together at home, something that already was difficult for her, but knowing that you weren’t feeling well somewhere apart from her made her feel even worse.

The both of you decided to have a little bit of time on your own, making you go to your parents home for the week. Neither of you ever thought that you would stay away longer.

The reason why you both decided to get a distance from your place was that both of you just agreed on giving up on getting pregnant.

It was getting too hard for you and her, knowing that your body couldn’t give you what you wanted - a child.

You and Jaehee already spent about 9.000 won to get you fertilized artificially three times and you both failed three times.

Six weeks ago, when the doctor told you once again that you guys failed, you decided to give up.

As if it was yesterday, Jaehee remembered your crying face in your dark, shared bedroom.

Your loud sobs and your trembling body on the floor.

You were devastated.

She couldn’t bear to see you falling apart anymore and she couldn’t bear to act like the strong one for both of you because she, too, was in too much pain.

As soon as your parents found out, they persuaded you to come back home for a bit to rest.

However, as soon as you arrived, the symptoms of the virus hit you.

You were feeling weak, had a slight fever, and you felt like your limbs hurt a bit.

,,I hope so too. The test was negative. Well, all my tests are negative,’’ you mumbled, making Jaehee feel bad without noticing.

,,Tomorrow they will take a blood sample, but I’m happy that you are feeling good, Jaehee,’’ you said as she told you that her COVID test was also negative. 

,,Okay, I will go and sleep a bit. Call me tomorrow as soon as you know something new,’’ she whispered before she cut the call, her thoughts by your side.

The morning afterwards, your legs were shaking in the isolated waiting room as you waited for your results to come.

Well, if it wasn’t Covid it would be something less worrying, right?

Indeed, the news the doctor had was less worrying since you were told that you were positive - positive for a pregnancy.

,,Huh? But, the doctor said…. we waited so long!’’ you told her, crying out of happiness but not believing her.

,,Yes, sometimes the test can be false or he made a mistake, but I am for sure that you are pregnant,’’ she nodded.

And so, happy that you could go home again, you decided to not tell Jaehee anything and instead surprise her with good and happy news…

Saeyoung

Your husband looked at you with a sad face as you once again felt sick and decided to stay in bed the whole day.

But he knew that you weren’t sick, but more depressed and sad.

He gulped as he looked over to the calendar.

It’s been almost two years since the both of you agreed on trying to become pregnant, even though he was sure that it would work out in less than a year.

But you both failed.

And the one that was hurting her body was none other than yourself, but he could just observe you and stand by your side.

Saeyoung’s eyes wandered over to your desk where countless pills and bottles were standing.

The both of you were currently injecting hormones into you to overstimulate your production of eggs.

He was nibbling on his lips. ,,Mc?’’ he asked you.

,,Mhh?’’ you hummed in response, turning your body to his side.

He hated to see you in pain, feeling unwell, and of course the stress of becoming pregnant was something that bugged you too.

,,Maybe… well no, to be honest, I think that we should stop with the injections wait one, maybe two years for the baby. What do you think? I mean, I don’t want to stress out your body,’’ he whispered to you, nervous for your answer.

You just sadly smiled at him and nodded as you slowly closed your eyes.

,,It’s a good idea. I think I’ll sleep for a while. I actually have a headache,’’ you lied.

Well, the truth was that you stopped taking the injections for four days already, something Saeyoung didn’t know.

He also didn’t know that you were already six weeks pregnant.

But you also just found out at your last appointment when the doctor told you that you were five weeks along, making you feel the most happiest wife on earth.

The reason for your lies was that soon Saeyoung would have his birthday and you wanted to make this day a special day for him, but also for his brother, who would be an uncle soon.

And so you decided to lie to your husband who was clearly worried as hell and told him that you were having side effects of the hormones.

Well, that was something you also thought at first.

The doctor told you from the very first injection that the side effects may be hot flashes, mood swings, nausea, and swelling, so when you first had them, you didn’t actually think that you were pregnant.

But you still wanted to talk with her about it to make sure that everything was fine.

To your surprise, it was more than fine and you were pregnant.

,,We just need to keep the secret,’’ you whispered, rubbing your still flat belly.

Saeran

You patted your boyfriend’s back as he once again sobbed at the negative pregnancy test.

,,I… I’m a loser,’’ he whined and looked at you, his eyes red and swollen from all the tears.

,,Maybe my mother is telling me that I shouldn’t become a father, that I don’t deserve it, that I am bound to become a monster like her and… ahh… so much is going through my head!’’ he whined and threw the test into the next corner, sobbing into his hands.

You slowly began to sob too, feeling guilty.

,,I’m sorry, Saeran… I wish I could do better,’’ you cried as you looked at him. He seemed so fragile.

Your boyfriend suddenly looked up. ,,Why are you apologizing?’’ he asked you. He couldn’t believe what you were saying.

,,I can’t give you what you want. I’m a bad girlfriend,’’ you whined.

,,No!’’ he sobbed again. ,,I’m a bad boyfriend and brother! I can’t find Saeyoung so I’m getting punished and you’ve been with me even though you didn’t do anything!’’ he told you, now hugging you and rubbing your back. ,,I’m so selfish, crying to myself even though you’re in pain too!’’ he sobbed harder.

And so this day, just like other ones, ended with the both of you lying in bed, sobbing into each other's arms as you thought about the future without children.

But it was still empty.

Days passed by and you and Saeran decided to give it up. For the time being, you didn’t want to get stressed, you wanted to enjoy life/ Saeran wanted to find his brother for real now and you just wanted to have a clear head.

But it didn’t work as you felt a sudden pain in your abdomen.

Sick and lightheaded, you laid back in pain, feeling a slight temperature that morning.

Some infection, you thought. Being pregnant wasn’t on your mind back then.

But after you didn’t seem to get healthy again, Saeran decided that it was best to bring you to a hospital.

,,Are you perhaps pregnant?’’ the doctor asked you and seemed to understand the case pretty quickly.

But you wanted a whole diagnosis. ,,No, I can’t get pregnant,’’ you told him, hearing these words from your own mouth hurt even more and so you once again felt your hot cheek as your eyes began to shed tears again.

,,Make a pregnancy test to make sure before doing anything else,’’ he told the nurse and went off to the next patient.

Indeed, the nurse turned back with a big smile, asking you again. ,,Are you sure that you can’t get pregnant?’’ she asked you, rubbing your arm.

,,The last test was negative,’’ you whispered.

,,Well, we will bring you to the maternity ward because it seems that you are pregnant,’’ she chuckled and pushed the wheelchair to the other ward.

,,Uhm, can you please not tell my boyfriend? I… I want to prepare a surprise for him,’’ you told her as you began to smile in happiness.

Finally good news arrived. Was it a sign?

Jihyun

Almost two years passed ever since you and your husband decided to adopt a new child to make Lucy into a big sister.

However, back then the adoption wasn’t possible, making you go for pregnancy.

But to you it just seemed as if God wanted to punish you for something.

,,It’s not working,’’ you sobbed as you found out that this time, too, you weren’t pregnant.

Your husband pressed his lips together and thought of something else.

Injecting hormones into you was something he wanted to avoid.

,,Maybe,’’ he began, looking at you and stroking your hair. ,,Now, we should stop for a bit.

You are stressed out and I’m nervous.

We are doing our best and I’m sure that one day the right time will come and we will be able to have a child on our own,’’ he told you.

He let go of your hand and kissed your head and then walked off to pack his bag.

Jihyun also had to go on a business trip for six weeks so he had to prepare a few things.

As consolation, the both of you lastly had a lovely and also sexy time together. This time you two didn’t think of having a baby, you just wanted to feel each other, feel closer and happier as you both wouldn’t be able to stay next to each other for a bit.

The next morning, Jihyun already left. The house felt empty and you were down, but for Lucy, you kept staying the happy mother she knew, waking her up, preparing her, as well as bringing her to school and then doing your house chores.

But it didn’t take you three weeks until it all backfired. You got a bad virus and weren’t able to get off the bed.

,,I’m so sorry that I can’t help you,’’ Jihyun gasped from where he was currently, feeling guilty.

,,It’s okay. Hyun and Yoosung are helping me and Jaehee keeps an eye on Lucy's tuition while Jumin helps with the hospital and medicine,’’ you groaned as you felt like vomiting again. It was eight in the morning after all.

,,I am such a bad husband. Three more people have to look out for you,’’ he chuckled, happy that you had support at home.

,,Well, you are providing for our family so don’t feel bad. Besides, it’s five. Saeyoung and Saeran are doing their best making Lucy happy and helping me too,’’ you laughed.

A few moments later, you cut the call as a red haired man, none other than Saeyoung entered your room. ,,Hurry up, I am taking you to the doctor’s. I read countless diagnoses with your symptoms and none of them is anything I would like you to have,’’ he said worriedly, helping you get ready after you vomited again.

But the diagnosis you had was much better than you all thought and with happy tears in your eyes, you entered your friend’s car again, actually shocking him. ,,I never thought that you could be so wrong with your diagnosis, Saeyoung. Actually, Jihyun and I are finally going to become parents!’’

Vanderwood

The both of you stopped counting the time at some point.

It just felt like a never ending story. It felt as if it was impossible for the both of you to archive what you wanted to.

Becoming a family.

Having a child between the both of you at night, caring for someone…

The more time passed and the more negative tests you held between your trembling fingers, the more you thought that this was an impossible dream for you.

You kept biting your upper lip as you looked into your calendar again.

You were once again bleeding. It was your period.

A sigh left your mouth as you looked over to Vanderwood.

Ever since he stopped smoking and was actually trying for a child, his mood had gotten weirder and harder to bear.

You weren’t happy anymore.

,,Yo, Vanderwood!’’ you called him, trying to smile as he turned your head over to you. ,,I… can we actually stop trying? You can smoke again and I can… maybe focus on my job for a bit… like, nothing has happened yet. Can we go slowly?’’ you asked him.

This was so out of the blue, he was actually so shocked, maybe a bit pissed off. You fell over him with this topic as if it was the most causal thing to say.

But he still said yes. He still nodded at you and he still agreed with you.

And so he really began to smoke a day later. Of course, smoking wasn’t that good anymore. He actually hated it.

But, he was sulking? He was hurt by you, a bit disappointed even though he could understand what you were trying to tell him.

A few days later, your period didn’t come as strong as it was supposed to be, so you decided to visit a doctor, maybe also to get a prescription for your birth control again.

But the news you got there was something you never expected.

,,You’re pregnant and you’re three weeks along!’’ she said, looking at you happily. She never had a woman who couldn’t get pregnant since she was still not a very well known doctor.

But you, one of her hardest cases, finally did it.

,,Since it was a hard fight, I want you to take these,’’ she said and wrote something down. ,,You need to take them to support your body with the change, make sure to come regularly. I think you already know what to do, but do not lift anything heavy, rest a lot, sleep, drink, whenever something feels off do not hesitate to visit me, okay? I will now schedule the first ultrasound of your baby and then you will have the assignment to search for a midwife to support you, okay?’’ she asked her.

Suddenly you felt so happy and scared at the same time that you didn’t know what to do.

But you already knew that there was someone at home that would be clearly happy to find out and you knew that for sure.

Part 3 of my pregnancy series here

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

🤰🏻ᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴄʏ sᴇʀɪᴇs🤰🏻Masterlist here 

12.05.2021// 23:55 MEST

#jumin han #jumin x reader #jumin x mc #zen hyun ryu #zen x mc #zen x reader #yoosung kim #yoosung x reader #yoosung x mc #jaehee kang #jaehee x mc #jaehee x reader #saeyoung choi #saeyoung x mc #saeyoung x reader #luciel choi #luciel x reader #luciel x mc #707 x mc #707 x reader #saeran x mc #saeran x reader #saeran choi #jihyun kim #jihyun x mc #jihyun x reader #Vanderwood #vanderwood x mc #pregnancy #mystic messenger pregnancy masterlist

[shadyteacup]

Congrats on 300 followers! You really deserve it cuz you're so talented and amazing. Can I request a angst prompt 11 with dazai thank you ❤️

Hola amigo! Thanks sm :D

Here's some sad angst... n no, it doesn't have a fluffy end... :(

Osamu Dazai + “Tell me you don’t want to leave. Say I’m enough to make you stay. I know it’s not true, but please just say it.”

Warnings: Angst, strong language. || Word count: somewhere around 1600, ig..

Get Out

You were an observant person. You were pretty sharp and thoughtful. You weren’t dumb. In fact, you were smarter than the average John or Jane Doe. You never ignored any signs or forewarnings that your brain threw at you. You always reported if something seemed fishy. You have never ignored someone’s wrong doings before.

But then again, there’s a first time for everything.

Sighing, you opened the door for your boyfriend.

“Hey.”

You said as you turned around almost immediately, ignoring his smile. Walking inside, you sat back at your desk, resuming your work.

Dazai stepped in, confused and worried. He had a lot on his mind as of late. He had to maintain a perfect balance between home and work, and it was taking a toll on his wellbeing. He hoped it wasn’t affecting your mental state. Maybe seeing him depressed all the time was lowering your spirits? He dearly hoped that wasn’t the case, for he was trying really hard to relieve his stress before coming home. He tried his best to stay happy and come home with a smile.

He threw his coat on the couch, kicking his shoes off and getting himself a glass of water. He was tired and parched.

As he gulped down the heavenly liquid, he observed you from the corner of his eye. You were staring at the screen, hands frozen above the keyboard. You were thinking about something. It worried him. Your random zone out sessions made him question his behaviour. Was he being rude or mean to you? Was he the cause of your constant worry?

“Y/N?”, he called out to you, trying to get you to snap out of it.

You flinched slightly, peering at him through your lashes.

“Hmm?”

He walked over to hug you from behind, but you got up, effectively avoiding him.

“What’s wrong?”

He furrowed his brows, reaching out to grab onto your sleeve.

You froze at the contact.

“Why don’t you get changed? We can have dinner then.”

Dazai held onto you, determined to get an answer out of you.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you ignoring me?”

“I ordered Thai food today. Its from that new restraint around the corner. Riddhi really recommends it.”

“Stop ignoring me. And who’s Riddhi?”

“My friend. You haven’t met her.”

You tried pulling out of his grasp, but he pulled you forward, holding onto both your arms, now.

“Look at me. Y/N.”

You sighed, avoiding his gaze.

“Why don’t you get changed? I’ve picked out a shirt for you. It’s on the bed.”

Dazai was fed up with your aloof behaviour. You had been acting strange and distant for weeks now. Everyday was the same. He would come home to you acting weird, you would ask him to change, and only then would you let him touch you. He was tired of this bullshit. He had tried asking you politely and patiently, but every time you evaded his questions. He was done with beating around the bush.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? What the hell have I even done?!”

He shook you, trying to pry an answer from you.

“Answer me! Tell me! What is it? Whatever it is, I’m sure we can figure it out. But you must tell me first. You have to speak. Say something!”

You ignored him, looking down at the carpeted floor.

Dazai sighed, letting go of your arms.

“Do you even care about us?”, he asked you.

“Tell me you don’t want to leave. Say I’m enough to make you stay. I know it’s not true, but please just say it”.

You whispered.

Dazai stared at you, confused.

“Of course, you’re enough. Tell me if you care. Do you even love me?”

You stepped back, trying to control your emotions.

“You’re the one going around fucking others. Unlike you, I actually care, Dazai.”

You whispered, afraid to look him in the eye. It had been weeks since you had smelled that perfume on him. It was sweeter than his own but had a musky undertone to it. That, paired with the random marks all over his body, was enough to convince you that he was having an affair. He was smart; he had tried subduing the perfume by carrying his own cologne with him and reapplying it after the deed was done. Whoever he was with probably supported him, as they always bit near the marks you had left. Your marks and their marks coincided.

Only you knew which marks were fresh and which were old. They didn’t know this, and often nipped at partially healed skin, reviving the bruise and giving it a nasty purple hue. That was a clear indication.

What disgusted you is that the person Dazai was sleeping with knew that he was cheating on his partner, and was supporting him by playing along with his plans.

The extra hours were also a clear give away. You had even called Yosano and Kunikida to ensure that the agency had called it a day. Both of them had told you that everyone had left the office, while your boyfriend claimed to be in a client meeting with Kunikida.

It was laughable how incompetent he considered you to be. Did he really think his half assed attempts at covering up would fool you?

“What the hell are you saying-”

“Don’t act dumb. I’m not stupid, you know that.”

Dazai continued his act, hoping to prove you wrong by putting it all on you.

“I’m a loyal partner, Y/N. Just because I’ve been having more work load lately, doesn’t mean you go around assuming shit about me. I honestly thought you were better than this.”

You sighed, finally meeting his gaze.

The dead look in them proved to him that he was caught. He could not do anything to fool you. You knew.

“It started three weeks ago, on Monday. You went to work at eight, came home around eleven. Work hours end at 6. You were smelling different. It was distinct. You never wear perfumes that have a sweet undertone.”

You stared at him dead in the eye, shutting him up with your gaze. He would not dare to come up with stupid excuses. Not with you looking at him like that.

“You had a hickey on your neck, on a spot that I hadn’t covered. You tried covering it up with makeup, but it wore off pretty quick. Ever since then, you have been visiting your secret friend daily. I’m guessing you go at least three rounds, since you come home so tired.”

“That’s just disgusting!”

“I thought so too. But it does tire you, doesn’t it? That’s the reason you come home so worn out. You go around having sex, and you’ve been trying to hide it from me for three weeks now. Tell me I’m wrong.”

His lack of reaction and the look of guilt plastered all over his face was as loud as a confession.

“Whoever it is, is blonde.”

He looked at you shocked.

“How-”

“I found strands all over your coat.”

He rubbed his forehead with his palm.

“You like them, don’t you? Its not just physical, is it?”

You asked with a sad smile.

“How do you know all this?”, he asked, devastated at the fact that you knew everything going on.

“I know you too well. I actually paid attention to our relationship. I cared.”

He ran a hand through his messy locks. He had been so stressed lately, he had to find an outlet. He wasn’t one to stay in any relationship for long, but he actually cared about you. He hadn’t meant to hurt you, which is why is never broke up with you. He was bored of the thing you both shared, but he knew that you cared. So, he pretended to be equally invested.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“Because I wanted to continue this thing for as long as I could. But not anymore. I’m done.”

He widened his eyes at you. He had not expected you to end this. He might have been bored, but he still cared for you. He loved you. He didn’t want to let go yet.

“Y/N, we can work this out. Please don’t leave.”

He begged you, trying to come closer to you. You stepped back.

“Please don’t. I can’t handle your smell. That scent repels me.”

He gasped, finally realising why you didn’t let him touch you.

“The perfume is a constant reminder of my...”

“Yeah.”

“And you tolerated all that, for so long. All for us.”

You nodded, turning away.

“But it doesn’t matter anymore. Thanks to your intense questioning, I’m finally free.”

“It doesn’t have to end, Y/N! We can work this out!”

“No, we can’t. I’m not enough for your boredom, and I’m not willing to become someone else just to please you.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, please don’t- ”

You smiled bitterly at him, before opening the door of your apartment, signalling to him.

“Get out, and only come back to get your stuff. Goodbye, Osamu.”

This story features one of my close friends, Riddhi. I had fallen short of names to use n though why not write about an actual friend? She's not on tumblr, unfortunately. Damn I miss going out with her... anyways, hope u liked it! N sorry for the rant :p

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[tyongxnct]

𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 - 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘓𝘦𝘦

pairing: Mark Lee x reader

special guest: Lee Taeyong as your older brother, brief mention of Jaemin, Jeno & Haechan

genre: angst, smut, tiny bit of fluff

warnings: drugs (don’t do drugs kids), addiction, memory loss, being high, mentions of rehab clinic, Mark physically and mentally hurting the reader, reader being unconscious, Mark’s kind of depressed, SMUT,

word count: 8.7k

note: this is based on my imagination, Mark Lee is his own person and everything that happens in my story is pure fiction. I love Mark Lee and this story just popped up in my head and I wanted to write it down.

extra note: didn’t really proofread this, might have grammer and spelling mistakes

A/N: hey! I’m so excited to finally post ‘love me again’! I’m super nervous and I really hope that you have fun while reading this. I had to repost this because it wasn’t showing up in the tags :(

taglist: @luvlyjaemin​ @silent-potato​ @markshearts​ @likelikeines

song rec: courage to change - sia

© tyongxnct on all platforms

“Please Mark, we just want the best for you…”, Mark’s mother cried.

“No you don’t! You have no idea what’s the best for me. You decided to move here, and I accepted it because it’s the best for you! You decided to divorce, and I didn’t say anything because, again, it’s the best for you! Now you’re thinking about what’s the best for me? Suddenly my feelings are important?! You two know nothing! Nothing. So don’t stick your noses into my fucking business!”, Mark yelled at his parents, finally letting out what he really thought and felt about his family.

“Son, we know it’s hard for you- “, his father tried to calm his son down.

“No, dad. No you don’t. Don’t act like you thought about me when you decided to leave Canada! I was happy there! And maybe you’d still be married!”, he was so angry and high, but it didn’t help him to ignore his parents- to stay calm, he was furious, and he needed his pills. “I’m leaving.”

Mark left his parents and ran straight to your house. He was high already, but he needed more, he needed his pills. After the fight with his parents, Mark was about to explode, and he did.

Mark knocked on your front door harshly and you opened the door with concern in your eyes. “Mark? Are you alright- “, he pushed you to the side and ran upstairs. “Where the fuck did you put them?!”, Mark’s body was trembling, his eyes red and his pupils wide. “Mark? What are you doing?”, you asked as you watched your boyfriend look through your shelves and closet, everything was a mess, but he didn’t care.

You held his arm to stop him, but he shoved you away. “WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY (Y/N)?!”, he yelled at you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Mark. Please calm down… You’re scaring me.”, you were scared and worried. He grabbed both of your wrists and looked at you furiously. “Where are my fucking pills (Y/n)?!”

“Mark are you high again? I thought- “, you started but he interrupted you. “I ASKED YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! ANSWER ME!”. You were more than scared right now, you hoped that you could help him, but Mark was high and that means that he’s not the Mark you’ve known. He’s that monster who hurts you and he didn’t even care.

“I- I flushed them down the toilette…”, you confessed.

You were too scared to look up, you could feel his hands around you tighten, and it hurt. “You did what?”, he asked through gritted teeth.

“I-I’m sorry but I don’t want you to take them- you don’t need them- “, tears were falling down your cheeks.

“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?! HUH?!”, he was hurting you. Mark Lee, the love of your life was hurting you.

“P-Please… I’m sorry- I just wanted to help. I thought I could help you…”

“Help? You wanted to help? Do you have the slightest idea of how much those pills costed me?! Huh?! You know nothing! You’re just a fucking piece of shit. I don’t fucking need you do you hear me?!”, he yelled again.

“Mark- “, you said in pain.

“You’re fucking useless. I don’t want to see you ever again.”, there was no emotion as he talked.

Mark let go of you and left your room, you followed him, he was high, and you were scared to leave him alone even though he just destroyed you with his words.

He really chose drugs over you.

A tiny little voice in the back of your head always told you that this would happen, but you ignored it because you loved him. Your arms hurt, Marks grip was really strong, and it probably would leave bruises. “Mark please don’t leave- please don’t go.”, you ran after him and hugged him from behind before he could walk down the stairs.

“You don’t understand it, do you? You’ll never be enough! Let me fucking go!”, he yelled as he tried to get out of your grip. “No! I know that you don’t mean it! I know that the drugs are taking over and that this is not you talking!”. Mark grabbed your hands and pushed them away, harshly. “Let me go!”, he was screaming again. “No Mark please don’t go… “, you tried to hold him again, but it was useless, he was stronger than you.

You two pulled at each other and before he could stop himself, he pushed you down the stairs. Everything was in slow motion, as he locked eyes with you and saw the fear in your eyes. You closed your eyes and Mark tried to hold you, but he couldn’t reach you, and then you were rolling down the stairs. “NO!”, Mark yelled as he tried to catch you.

You were laying on the floor and you weren’t moving. Mark’s hands were trembling, and tears fell down his cheeks. He looked at you and he didn’t know what to do. Why weren’t you moving? Is that… is that blood?

Mark rushed down the stairs and kneed down. “B-Baby?”, he took your head between his hands and looked at you face. You were unconscious and your forehead was bleeding. “H-Hey… D-Do you hear me? Open your eyes, please open your eyes!”, Mark’s tears landed on your face. “Baby please open your eyes…”, he shook your body, but you didn’t wake up. Mark didn’t know what to do.

Suddenly the front door was opened by your older brother, Taeyong. “I’m home- “, he stopped talking as he saw you in Mark’s arms. “M-Mark?”, Taeyong was scared. “I didn’t mean to! I swear it was an accident! I would never hurt her hyung I didn’t mean anything I said.”, Mark cried as he pulled your body closer. Taeyong came closer and saw you bleeding. “Fuck! Why didn’t you call an ambulance!”, Taeyong yelled at Mark as he called the ambulance before it was too late.

“I love you please open your eyes. I’m so sorry, I need you please don’t leave me! Hyung it was an a-accident. I didn’t mean to!”, Mark cried and cried. Taeyong saw red. Did Mark do that to you? “Are you fucking high again?!”, Taeyong didn’t want to hurt you but he pulled your body to his, taking you away from Mark. “Hyung please I’m sorry…”, Mark’s whole body was trembling. The tears never stopped, and the pain and regret were eating him alive.

The next thing Mark remembered was when he was waiting in front of the emergency room. Taeyong and your mother were also there, your mother still didn’t know what exactly happened. But the way Taeyong looked at Mark, with so much disgust and hate, broke Mark’s heart.

Mark prayed. He prayed for your safety and he promised himself to never do drugs again. It was his fault, he hurt you. Physically and mentally hurt you. He could never forgive himself, you loved him even though he was a fucking drug addict, you were always there for him and now you were in a fucking emergency room.

The doctor finally came out and smiled at your mother. “You don’t have to worry, everything went fine. She’s asleep now, but she’ll be taken to her room.”

“Thank you so much, Doctor Byun.”, you mother was relieved. “And thank you Mark for being with her, I wouldn’t know what had happened If she- “, your mother said. “Stop mom, it was him.”, Taeyong said with anger. “What do you mean?”, she asked. Mark looked down, too ashamed to look your mother in the eyes.

“He pushed her. She fell because of him, She fell because Mark was high and lost his mind. In fact, you’re still high, right?!”, he yelled at him, pushing him with his hands.

Mark didn’t stop Taeyong from doing so.

“Mrs. Lee… I didn’t want that to happen- “

“Leave.”, she just said with a low voice.

Mark fell on his knees, “I’m sorry, please I can’t live without her… please forgive me I love her so much…”, he cried.

“You love her? You think this is love? Mark, I treated you like my own son! I accepted you with open arms because she loved you so much! I defended you in front of your parents and this is how my daughter has to pay? For loving you? Is that her punishment?”, she was crying, your mother felt betrayed.

You always told her, how much you loved Mark and how you helped him through his parent’s divorce, but you never told her about his addiction. You really thought you could help him with that, that he would stop taking them, but in the end you were wrong.

“I know, I know I’m so sorry… I’ll stop I swear I’ll stop!”, Mark couldn’t lose you.

“Do you think I’ll let you near my sister ever again?”, Taeyong said.

“No hyung please please don’t! I’m begging you I need her!”

But Taeyong’s decision was final.

ONE YEAR LATER

Today was Mark’s anniversary. It’s been a whole year since he became clean. It was his own decision to go to a rehab clinic, his parents were more than happy to hear that. After what happened to you, Mark wanted to change. Change his habits, change his lifestyle and just be better, be worthy for your love. Mark was allowed to go home after a year in the rehab clinic, he missed his last year of high school, which he needed to go to again to graduate officially.

You were always on Mark’s mind, the bad memories, and the good ones. He would fall asleep thinking of your pretty smile and wake up crying to your unconscious body. He never talked to you again and he still loved you, no, he loved you even more now. You were his light in the darkness, the reason to become better. Mark wanted to be a better man for you.

“Welcome home honey.”, Mark’s mother hugged her son, tears falling down her cheeks. “Are you sure you are ready to come back home? If you want to we can move- or we can go back to Canada, just tell me how I can make you happy.” Mark and his parents lived in Canada until he was almost 17, they moved to Korea and that’s how you met. They moved into the house across the street and you became friends. Mark first hated Korea, he wanted to go back to Canada, to his friends, and after his parents started fighting all the time, they got divorced. His father moved out and left him. He blamed Korea for his parent’s divorce. Mark was angry. Angry that his parents were getting a divorce, that he left his whole life in Canada, but the only good thing in his life was you. After spending so much time together, sneaking out after midnight, making out in your room or his until one day you two took a step further and had sex. You were each other’s first times and you fell in love, Mark would have left Korea If you weren’t here. Mark’s mind wandered to the first night you had spent with him in his room. The first time he had touched you, the first time you had sex.

Flashback

You were cuddling with Mark on his bed under the covers, you were watching friends on his TV and he was hugging you from behind. Mark and you were together for almost 5 months now, both of you knew that just being friends was something you didn’t want. You could say it was love at first sight for both of you.

Mark kissed your cheek and slowly kissed his way to your neck. He placed wet kisses on your neck and his hand was under your shirt, caressing your skin with his thumb. He stopped kissing you and started sucking and nibbling on your skin. You closed your eyes as you felt Mark so close to you, making you feel drunk on his kisses.

The furthest you and Mark went was making out. He never asked you to do more, he was waiting for you to be ready. Sometimes, you wanted him to go further but it was never the right time, you wanted him to touch you and you wanted to touch him.

You let out a soft moan and turned around, your butt slightly stroking his crotch. You kissed him on the lips, first it was slow and sweet, but he nibbed on your lips and you opened your mouth to give him access. Your tongues were fighting for dominance, his hand was on your butt, softly squeezing it and he pulled you on his lap, his lips never leaving your lips. Mark was laying on the bed with you on top of him, you moved your hips, which made Mark moan. His hands were on your butt, pressing you against his member to feel you better.

You broke your kiss and pulled back to sit on his lap. Your lips red and puffy and Mark was breathing heavily. You looked him straight into the eyes as you put your hands under your shirt to take off your bra. After you took it off, you threw it on the floor and your eyes never left Marks. “Give me your hand.”, you said. Mark slowly gave you his hand and watched you how you put his hand on your boob. Your hand was still on his as you gently squeezed your boob with his hand. “Touch me.”, you whispered.

You could feel Mark getting harder under you. He gulped and looked at you. “A-Are you sure?”, he asked. “Yes. Please touch me.”

Mark licked over his lips as he put his other hand on your other boob, squeezing both of them. His thumb was on your nipple, playing with them. “Can I take off your shirt?”, he asked you now. You just nodded. Mark tossed away your shirt and he gulped again as he saw you half naked on top of him. Mark sat up a little and was laying against his bedrest, your boobs right in front of his face. His face got closer to your breast and you felt his tongue on your nipple. He softly licked your nipple and with his hand, he played with the other one. You moaned, it felt so good having Mark’s mouth and hands on your breasts.

Mark started sucking on your breast, making you moan even more. You were wet and feeling Mark’s hard member against your pussy made you even wetter. “God Mark it feels so good.”, you moaned. His mouth travelled to your collarbones, he sucked and left Marks, he loved it.

“Mark I-I need you, please.”, you cried out. “Are you sure babe?”, he asked you while he flicked your nipple with his fingers.

“Yes yes please just… just fuck me.”

Within a second, Mark turned you so that you were under him now, your boobs bouncing while doing so and making him lick over his lips again.

“Okay babe just tell me to stop If you don’t want me to go further.”, he pecked your lips and smiled at you. You nodded and smiled back, your heart was racing.

Mark took off his shirt and you stared at his exposed body, you couldn’t believe that this guy was you boyfriend. You felt so lucky.

“I need to prepare you a little more baby.”, without telling you how, he slowly took off your sweatpants, leaving you in your panties. Mark kissed your pussy over the fabric of your underwear. “My baby’s so cute.”  

You could feel Mark’s finger against your pussy over your underwear, spreading your wetness and drenching your panties. “So wet.”

Mark almost ripped your panties as he took it off, he wanted to taste you so bad. With his hands, he pushed your legs apart, his face right in front of your wet pussy. You could feel his breathe against your wetness and he licked your pussy with kitten licks once and then again and again. You moaned as you felt his tongue. “Shit- Mark- “, his tongue played with your clit, and you thought it couldn’t feel any better, but Mark slowly pushed one finger inside of you. You clenched around his finger and he cursed. “Fuck baby, you’re fucking tight.”, he kissed your pussy and sucked on your clit, after he inserted another finger inside of you, you couldn’t handle it anymore. “Mark it feel so good, I’m gonna cum.”

He fucked you with his fingers faster and his mouth did wonders down there. You hit your first ever climax and you could see the stars. Your grip around the bedsheet tightened and you moaned out. Mark put his hand on your mouth, his mother was still downstairs. “Baby If you keep being so loud my mother is going to hear you.”

You were breathing in and out as you giggled. He held his fingers, which were inside of you a couple seconds ago, to your mouth and looked at you. “Suck.”, you did as he told you, slowly sucking his fingers and tasting yourself.

Mark pulled his pants and boxers down, your mouth wide open as you saw his cock straight as straight as possible and precum on his tip. He was about to get a condom from his nightstand but then he could feel your hand around his cock. He hissed at that feeling. “Fuck- babe- “, your hand slowly pumped his cock and Mark didn’t know what to do. He wanted you to suck his dick, he wanted to be inside of you, and he wanted you to keep pumping him.

It seems like you were going to fullfill all of his wishes.

Mark felt your tongue on the tip of his cock. You licked him like a lollipop and sucked on his tip. Slowly, you didn’t want to hurt him, you put his cock inside of your mouth, Mark moaned loudly and closed his eyes for a second but opened them right after to watch you sucking his dick.

You bobbed your head up and down and it didn’t take Mark long to cum. “Babe I’m gonna cum, fuck you’re so good at this, fuck- “, he exploded inside of your mouth, and you swallowed every drip.

“You have no idea how hot you are- fuck, I’m gonna fuck you so good.”, Mark pressed you down on the mattress.

With his knees, he pushed your legs apart again, now to enter you with his cock. He pulled the condom down and placed his member at your entrance. “Are you ready baby?”, he asked you again.

“I’m ready- I love you.”

“I love you so much.”, he said as he slowly pressed his tip against your entrance. Mark slowly pushed his cock inside of your cunt and your gripped the bedsheets tightly. “I’ll stay like this a little.”, he didn’t move until you assured him that he could.

Pain slowly became pleasure, and you were almost begging Mark to go faster. “Please it feels so good.”

Mark rammed his cock inside of your pussy, and he kissed you, because you were moaning so loud, he was scared that the whole neighborhood could hear you.

“Mark I’m gonna- fuck- I’m gonna cum, god!”

“Me too babe, I’m gonna cum so hard.”, Mark’s hand travelled to your clit, circling it with his thumb and with that, you reached your climax. You clenched around Mark’s dick and you were so tight already, that he also came. He closed both of your mouths as he kissed you and he was still inside of you until you calmed down.

“Thank you Mark, I love you.”

“I love you, too. Forever.”

Mark started doing drugs with his friends Jeno, Jaemin and Donghyuck, it was harmless at first, just one or two joints, but behind your back he sometimes did coke. When you found out, he promised you that it was just a one-time thing, just to try it. But whenever you went to a party together, or just hung out, he did it over and over again. You didn’t need any drugs to be happy- after your father’s death, your brother, mother, and Mark helped you go through the pain. You wanted to help Mark, too, but he told you that there’s no pain to be erased. He was doing drugs ‘Just for fun’. You tried to stop him, you told him that he didn’t need any of this, but Mark never listened, he just pushed you away and stopped seeing you as often as before. When he started to take the pills, you did everything to stop him, flushing the pills down the toilette, hide his coke from him, tried to stop him from drinking, but you all know how that ended.

“Mom, I’m alright, and no, I want to stay here, I changed. Everything’s going to be alright.”, he hugged his mother back as he looked out of the window, staring at you room across the street.

Mark was in his room, nothing changed, he unpacked his back and he saw the picture of you next to his bed on his nightstand. He held the picture in his hand and looked at your pretty smile. His sight became blurry and he tried to stop the tears. No more crying, he believes that everything’s going to be perfect. He needs a little more time until he was ready to face you, your mother and brother.

First day of his last year in high school. Mark was beyond nervous and scared. You were probably in college now, on your way to become a teacher. It was always your dream to teach children, you adored them, and you always imagined a life with Mark as the father of your children.

Mark was really early on his first day, he was sitting in the classroom, next to the window. Memories flooded his mind of you two in high school. How you skipped class just to go to McDonald’s, how you went to the rooftop to make out and how you waited for him after, well, after he smoked joints with his friends behind the school.

The bell rang and everyone entered the class, what Mark didn’t except to see was you, entering the class while talking to a girl. His world stopped turning. Why were you here? Did you see him already? What were you talking about and why did you smile like that?

You saw someone staring at you, but you didn’t pay attention to that, you sat down and listened to your teacher.

“Good morning, everyone. I have an announcement to make. We have two new students in class. Mark and (Y/n). They both missed a year, please tread them nicely.”

Mark’s palms were sweaty, he couldn’t focus. You were here, here with him, but why?

After class ended, you packed your things and left the classroom with that girl you talked to when you entered. Mark needed to do something, he just had to.

He ran after you and called your name. “(Y/n)! Wait!”

You turned around, your new friend said goodbye and left you there with Mark. “Yes?”, you asked confused.

Mark stuttered “H-Hi. I-It’s been a while.. “

“Uhm hey? Sorry but, do I know you?”, you asked, very confused by his words.

Mark stopped breathing, were you going to act as if you didn’t know him? His heart was beating against his chest and he felt like collapsing.

He didn’t say anything, and you talked again. “I’m sorry but I lost my memory, did we go to high school together last year?”, Mark was speechless, you had lost your memory?

“Y-You lost your memory? H-How If I may ask?”

“I fell down the stairs, it’s a little embarrassing, I’m a little clumsy. I’ve spent a couple months in hospital last year, that’s why I am here again. And you?”, you thought making friends would be a great idea.

“O-Oh I’m sorry…”, Mark stuttered, he didn’t know what to do. Should he tell you that it was his fault? Should he tell you that he’s your boyfr- your ex-boyfriend?

“It’s alright, It just sucks that I can’t remember my life, like the most important time of my teenage years, you know? So, were we friends? Did you know me?”, you were too nice, he didn’t deserve that.

“Uhm… no, I mean we were in the same class, and, uh, you were always nice to everyone and you were always smiling and stuff…”, he blushed.

“Do you want to go to McDonald’s with me? I know we just kind of met but I want to hear more about last year, about everything I forgot, you don’t have to, of course.”, you didn’t know why, but your heart beats faster as you talked to that guy you didn’t even remember.

“Sure, yeah I’d love to.”, spending time with you? Mark would never say no to that.

You were sitting next to Mark as he told you stories about your past.

“One day, Mr. Jung send you to detention because you were eating a happy meal in the middle of class.”, he told you and you laughed for the first time since forever.

“No way!”

“You really did that, it was hilarious. And oh, we sneaked out before your detention ended to eat another happy meal- “, he stopped talking as he told you about a memory you shared. “We? I thought we weren’t close.”, you asked.

“I mean you, I-I just said we because we were just eating a happy meal.”, he tried to safe himself.

And that’s how your relationship with Mark Lee started again. You didn’t know that he was your neighbor, you didn’t know that he was your ex-boyfriend and the reason for your memory loss.

Mark and you got closer in the last couple of months, nobody knew that though, not your family and not his, you slowly but deeply fell in love with him and since he loved you already, it didn’t take you long to skip class and go to the roof to make out.

Mark wanted to tell you everything, he wanted to tell you that you have a history together, but he was scared, scared of losing you forever.

“Babe?”, he said.

“Yeah?”, you mumbled, eyes closed. Your head was on his thigh as he caressed your hair softly.

“I love you.”, he confessed.

You opened your eyes immediately and looked at him with big round eyes. “I love you.”, he said again.

“I love you too.”, you got up and sat next to him. You held his hand as you locked eyes. “Can I kiss you?”, he asked softly.

You nodded. You didn’t even know If you had your first kiss, or even a boyfriend, but it felt right. Everything about Mark felt right.

“Before I met you, I was really sad that I couldn’t remember anything, but If I hadn’t lost my memory, we’d never be like this- together. I’m glad that I fell.”

“No!”, he said, raising his voice a little. “I mean, don’t say that. You lost your memory and I’m just.. me. I don’t know I just- I’m also happy that I met you.”, he smiled at you and then he kissed your forehead. “I’m going to fill you pretty head with the greatest memories ever.”

Mark never brought you home, he would always go another way, wait and then he’d go home, when it was dark outside. His mother was a little worried, and after 3 months, your family still didn’t know that he was back.

You’ve been officially dating for a whole month now. It was your one-month anniversary and Mark asked you out. It was a simple date, a dinner and then going to the movies. You didn’t tell your mother that you were going on a date, you told her that you’d meet your new friends from school.

Mark was leaning against his car as you arrived at the restaurant- looking absolutely pretty in your black dress.

“Baby you look gorgeous.”, he pecked your lips. “Sorry that I couldn’t pick you up.”

“It’s alright. My brother drove me.”

His heart stopped beating.

“Y-your brother? I-Is he here?”, he tried to hide behind you. “Don’t worry babe, he let me out on the other side of the street. He didn’t see you.”, you smiled.

Mark was relieved. “Okay, good. I wouldn’t want him to see me with his, uhm, little sister.”

“I would also prefer that you two meet after I tell him that you exist.”, you smiled at him. He shuddered. “You’re going to tell him about us?”

“Of course, you’re my boyfriend and he’s my brother, I don’t want to keep you as a secret.”

Mark gulped, his hands were sweaty, and he was scared.

You entered the restaurant, a little Italian restaurant that looked really pretty. “Wow Mark this place is so great.”, you changed the topic and Mark wasn’t even really listening. His heartbeat louder than your voice. “It kinda feels familiar.”, maybe it was because your first official date with Mark was also here.

You also sat down at your usual place, which you, of course, didn’t know. “Do you think I was here before?”, you asked him as your eyes scanned the restaurant. “I don’t know.. maybe.”

“Are you ready to order?”, the waiter asked and without even glancing at the menu you ordered. “I’d like to have pasta with chicken.”

Mark looked at you, he was confused. What are the odds that you order the same meal you always ordered here. He ordered the pizza he also always ordered, hoping it was just coincidence.

After almost 30 minutes, your orders came. Suddenly, your head hurt. Images of this place rushed through your head. You were eating your Pasta, but you weren’t alone, there was someone with you, but you couldn’t recognize that person.

“Shit what was that.”, you held your head and closed your eyes. “Are you alright babe?”, Mark held your hand and looked at you with worry in his eyes. “Yeah it’s just- This place, I was here before with someone and I was eating exactly the same thing- but I don’t really know. It felt like a déjà vu.”

Mark’s heart was about to fall out of his chest. “M-Maybe it was your brother.”

“Probably.”, you smiled.

After your dinner and the movie you watched (which you couldn’t even really watch because Mark was so close and his hand was holding yours), you left and drove to a perfect spot to talk and, well, make out.

It started with a simple kiss, but now you were sitting on his lap on the backseat as you kissed him, his hands all over your body. You were so close to him, he was losing his mind. Your dress couldn’t even cover your body. His hands on your thighs pulling you closer as his tongue slipped into your mouth.

“M-Mark.”, you moaned as his lips now sucked on your neck.

You could feel him getting harder and harder and you wanted him, you wanted more, but you didn’t want to lose your virginity on the backseat of a car.

“M-Mark, fuck, wait- “, and he stopped before his hand could reach your panties. “Y-Yeah? Am I going too fast?”, he asked, breathing heavily.

“N-No, it’s just- I’m still a virgin.”, you said shyly.

“No- oh wait- “, he stopped talking as soon as he remembered that you didn’t remember. “Y-You’re right, I’m sorry, I got carried away.”, he blushed. After a whole year without touching you- feeling you, his mind was fuzzy. “It’s alright- I just want to do it, uhm, in a bed or something…”, you were still sitting on his lap, and when you moved your body, Mark moaned. “Y-You- Stop moving like this.”

“Oh yeah right sorry.”, how embarrassing, you thought.

“I’ll take you home now okay baby? Did you have fun tonight?”, he asked. It was late and completely dark outside, he’d never let you go home alone.

“It was an amazing day, thank you.”, you pecked his lips one last time before you moved to the front seat with him.

As Mark drove you home, he remembered that one last time you had sex. It wasn’t a good memory, maybe even one of the worst.

Flashback

“Mark? Where the hell were you? It’s fucking 4 am in the morning!”

Mark forgot that you were coming over, he was with his friends, doing things you didn’t want him to do and now he had to deal with you.

You noticed that he was drunk and high again. “Mark do you want to kill yourself? Did you lose your mind?”, Mark ignored you as he took off his shirt to change to his pajama. You were standing next to him as you tried to get answers.

“I really don’t want to talk to you right now, my head’s about to explode.”, Mark took off his pants as he ignored your presence.

“You don’t want to talk to me? I’m sorry but I texted you and called you hundred times. You could at least tell me where you were, or with whom and when you were coming home. Or just text me that you were safe. I was fucking worried!”, the last couple weeks were always like this, you talking and him ignoring you.

Mark jumped on his bed, getting angrier every passing second. “I told you to shut up.”

“No, I won’t shut up. You are acting like a stupid asshole. You need to stop, Mark please I’m begging you, stop this.”, you weren’t angry anymore, you were worried and sad.

“It’s none of your business.”, he said coldly, his world was spinning but he didn’t care.

“It is. I am your girlfriend, and I don’t want my boyfriend to kill himself because of his stupid friend and stupid drugs.”

You were standing in front of Mark and now he was looking up to you. “Right. You’re my girlfriend.”, he gripped your wrists and pulled you to him. He changed your positions, you were now under him.

“M-Mark.”

“If you are my girlfriend I can do this right?”, he kissed you on the lips, his cold hand under your shirt. You kissed him back, it felt like you didn’t kiss Mark for years. You had missed it, even If he just ignored the fact that you were worried.

He kissed his way down to you neck. You moaned as you felt his hand on your boob. “Let me take this off, alright babe?”, he asked you. You nodded.

Mark took off your bra and shirt and tossed it away. He kissed your boobs and sucked on your nipples. You felt yourself getting wetter and Mark was hard, even though he was still high and drunk. “Gonna fuck you, okay baby?”, he was suddenly sweet and nice to you. You were happy that he still asked you If you were okay with having sex. “Yes please.”, you moaned.

He took off your jeans and your panties, going straight to you pussy with his fingers and tongue. Without hesitating he pushed two fingers inside of you. “Fuck.”, it hurt a little, but it was alright. Mark sucked on your clit and he was so hard that he stopped before you came. “M-Mark fuck I was about to cum.”, he didn’t care. He looked for a condom in his nightstand and then you felt him against you entrance. You were still really tight, and you thought he’d be slow, but he rammed his cock inside of you.

And he didn’t stop, he penetrated your pussy with hard thrusts and tears formed in the corner of your eyes. “M-Mark… too much- “, but Mark was in trance, he pulled out, you thought he’d be slower now, but he just turned your around so that you were on all four. He gripped your hips, probably leaving bruises.

Again, Mark pushed his cock deep inside of your pussy, his thrusts were hard and fast, his hand was on your clit, circling it and you came. “Mark, stop- it hurts, please.”, you cried as Mark overstimulated you. With his other hand he grabbed your boob and finally released his seeds into the condom.

Your body arched, the way Mark fucked you so roughly was too much for you. You could barely move your legs as you wiped away your tears.

Mark was breathing heavily as he threw the condom into the trashcan.

You hid your body under his blanket. Mark slowly realized how you told him to stop, and how he didn’t listen.

Mark put on his boxers as he went to his bathroom to get a towel. “Let me clean you up.”, he asked slowly. “No, I-I can do it myself.”

He only nodded as he looked at you with heavy eyes. “I’m sorry that I didn’t stop, I didn’t want to hurt you.”, he was about to cry as he saw the pain in your eyes. “I just, I thought you’d like it, I don’t know why I did that.”, you knew why. The drugs, his friends. Everything, just everything around him changed him and made him rougher. Maybe even you.

“Just forget it, Mark.”, you told him, but you meant yourself. You tried to forget that he hurt you like that. “I’m going home.”

He remembered that day, no matter how much he tried to forget it. He was disgusted and angry at himself. He slowly turned to a monster and even If you tried to save him, he was too blind.

Mark wore a cap in the car, you didn’t question why, he stopped on the other side of your house, on his side of the street. The lights in his house were on, even though it was past midnight.  “You know, I have no idea who lives in that house, my brother told me that a woman lives there and that’s it. And I never met her, well, as far as I can remember.”

“Maybe it’s better that way, who knows.”

“You’re right.”, you looked at him. “I love you Mark.”

“I love you more, (Y/n). You have no idea how much I love you.”, before he started crying, you kissed his cheek and went home. Mark couldn’t go home yet. He drove two streets further. He cried and cried, he didn’t know If lying to you was better than telling you the truth, the ugly truth.

You were in the cafeteria eating your sandwich with Mark as one of your old teachers approached you. She was your math teacher last year but obviously you didn’t remember but Mark did.

“Hello, you two, it’s nice to see you still together after last year. How are you feeling (Y/n)? You’ve spent so much time in hospital last year, we all missed you.”, she said.

You were confused. What did she mean with still together?

“Uhm, I’m much better now, I think Mrs.- “, you had no idea who that woman in front of you was. “Oh right I’m sorry- Mrs. Kim. I was your math teacher last year.”, Mrs. Kim smiled at you two. You were so confused that you didn’t notice Mark being nervous next to you. He was scared that Mrs. Kim would say more about your relationship with him.

“So do you remember Mark?”, she asked.

Mark’s eyes widened, he chocked on his juice and you did not understand anything.

“No, not really.”, you said with a sad smile.

“Oh, but look, you still found each other again.”

Before Mrs. Kim could say anything more, the bell rang, and Mark could finally breath again.

“Mrs. Kim we really have to go to class now.”, Mark grabbed your hand and pulled you with him.

“Mark what did she mean?”, you asked him, but he ignored you. “Mark? Can you let go?”, Mark’s grip tightened, and it started hurting.

He pulled you to the rooftop, ignoring the fact that you indeed had to go to class. “Mark you’re hurting me.”, you finally said, and he immediately let go.

“W-what? I’m sorry I didn’t want to! I’m sorry I didn’t want to hurt you please forgive me.”, Mark hugged you tightly and apologized. He hated to hear that he hurt you.

“Hey, calm down. It’s alright. But please tell me what Mrs. Kim was talking about.”, you hugged him back to assure him that it was alright.

“I don’t know, I guess she talked about how we ended in the same class again or something. I really don’t know.” he said as he placed a sweet little kiss on your neck.

“Oh, okay.”

Mark kissed his way from your neck up to your mouth. He kissed you slowly, his hand on your cheek slowly stroking your skin with his thumb. He entered your mouth with his tongue and the slow kiss turned to a heavy make-out session.

You were so lost in the kiss that you didn’t notice the raindrops slowly falling. It started raining heavily and as you kissed Mark, your head hurt again. Your lips left his and you closed your eyes, holding your head tightly.

“Shit shit Mark it hurts.”, the images In your head felt familiar, the way you kissed Mark on the rooftop of your school under the rain felt so familiar.

It felt familiar because It happened already.

Flashback

“Mark are you crazy? It’s raining!”, you laughed at your boyfriend who insisted to skip class to go to the rooftop.

“What about it? It’s just rain babe.”, Mark was standing in the middle of the rooftop, completely wet. He looked up to the sky, eyes closed and a big smile on his face.

“Your gonna get sick!”, but Mark didn’t care.

“Come here! Let’s get sick together and we can stay at home and cuddle!”, you laughed at his comment.

“Fuck it.”, you ran to Mark and hugged him tightly. “It’s so cold!”, you were freezing.

“I’ll keep you warm.”, and then Mark placed his lips on yours.

You really felt warmer, with his arms around you and his soft lips on yours. You made out under the rain until it stopped, and the dark clouds were gone, and the sun shined again. “Look a rainbow! Make a wish!”, you said as you looked up to the sky.

“My wish has already come true.”, you didn’t notice the way he looked at you. But after a couple months he stopped looking at you like you were the most important thing in his life. Mark slowly replaced you with drugs.

Bit by bit, your memories came back, but you weren’t sure If your mind was playing with you or If the memories actually happened.

Two weeks later, you were smiling so hard because of a sweet text Mark had sent you and Taeyong caught you. “Why are you smiling like that?”, he asked you. You mother was out, grocery shopping, and your older brother wanted to hang out with you, help you to remember a couple things.

“Alright, I’ll tell you. But don’t do that older brother cringe shit, okay?”, you smiled brightly. “Okay, I promise.”

“I, uhm, I have a boyfriend.”, you confessed.

“You? A boyfriend?”, he asked mockingly. “Shut up! I’m serious.”, you laughed. “Alright alright. So, tell me about him.”

“Well, just like me he’s repeating the last school year because he missed it. He’s super cute and so adorable, he’s like a little puppy you’d want to cuddle forever. He’s born August 2nd and he’s a Leo.”

“What’s his name?”, your brother asked casually as he ate chips. “His name’s Mark, he lived in Canada, that’s why he missed- “

“What the fuck are you saying?!”, Taeyong yelled.

“W-What?”, his sudden outburst surprised you. “His name’s M-Mark.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”, Taeyong yelled again. “Yong, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“You stay here, you hear me?!”, you nodded even though you were really confused. Taeyong ran straight out of the house as you watched him through the window, running across the street and hammering on the door of your mysterious neighbor.

“Open the door!”, Taeyong yelled.

You were too curious to just stay here, and you didn’t understand anything that’s why you ignored Taeyong order and ran after him.

“What is going on- Taeyong?”, a woman, your mother’s age, opened the door with a shocked expression.

“He’s here isn’t he?! When did he come back and why didn’t you tell us?! I told you not to let him close to my sister ever again- “, he yelled but someone interrupted him, someone you didn’t except to see there.

“Mom what’s going- H-hyung?”, Mark almost dropped his phone as he saw Taeyong’s angry face, he could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears. Mark’s eyes travelled behind Taeyong, meeting yours.

“I told you to stay away from her! I told you to leave her the fuck alone!”, Taeyong screamed.

“M-Mark? W-What are you doing in… in that house?”, you were so confused, scared and your head started hurting.

“I-I can explain- ““No! You can’t explain shit! Didn’t I tell you to stay away from her? Are you fucking addicted to hurting her? She lost her memory because of you!”, Taeyong referred to Mark’s addiction before. Everything started to make sense, the déjà vu’s you had whenever you were with Mark, his fear of meeting your brother, his overprotectiveness and shit, even Mrs. Kim was so obvious about your connection with Mark.

“Hyung please just listen to me, I changed- I’m not the same anymore. I’m a better person now- “

“A better person?! You’re using her! Again! You’re using her memory loss! You’ll never be- “

“(Y/n)!”, Mark yelled as he saw you collapsing on the floor with blood coming out of your nose. Your head hurt so much like never before, seeing Mark in that house, that woman and just everything right now was too much. Why did they know each other? Scenarios of Mark, Taeyong and you played in your head. How you hung out together, how you talked to Taeyong about Mark and the memory of you talking to Mark’s mom about Mark’s addiction. It was too much.

You woke up with a heavy headache. Taeyong sitting right next to you and your mother on the other side. “W-Where’s Mark.”, was the first thing you asked. “I’m calling the doctor.”, Taeyong said coldly.

“M-Mom? My head hurts.”, you said. Your mother placed a kiss on your forehead. “Everything will be alright, honey.”

You fell asleep again, too exhausted because of the memories that came back. You dreamed of moments with Mark, moments that felt so real, moments that actually happened but you couldn’t remember before. Mark and you going to McDonald’s after midnight. Mark and you making out in your bedroom. Mark’s hands all over your body as you two had sex. Mark yelling at you, throwing things on the floor and just hurting you. Mark being high and fighting with someone who wanted to dance with you at a party. Many memories of you crying and him yelling. All your memories came back, many puzzle pieces finally together.

You remembered everything.

Mark played with you, again. He broke your heart, again, and you had lost your memory because of him.

You didn’t tell anyone that your memories came back. You wanted to talk to Mark about everything first, you wanted to hear him tell you the truth and that’s why you texted him to meet you at the rooftop.

“I was so worried.” as soon as Mark arrived, he hugged you from behind. “Are you alright, princess? I’m sorry that I couldn’t visit- “, you interrupted him “You can stop the act now, Mark.”

“W-What do you mean?”, he knew exactly what you were talking about.

“Were you ever going to tell me?”, you asked, trying to hold in your tears.

“Babe- “

“I asked you a question!”, you raised your voice. “I wanted to. I swear I wanted to tell you, but I was so scared.”

You pushed his arms away and turned to him. “I can remember. Everything.”

“I-It was an accident, I love you. I always loved you.”, he cried.

“Not as much as you loved your drugs.”, you were tired, your head was arching.

“No that’s not true… I-I changed… I went to rehab I’m clean… I love you”, he couldn’t even look you in the eyes. “And all you needed was to push me down the stairs to become clean?”, you allowed your tears to fall down no, it hurt too much to hold them in.

“I’m so sorry, I love you.”

“You told me that I’m useless. You told me that you never wanted to see me again, you told me that I’m a piece of shit. If so, why did you make me fall in love with you again?”, your voice cold as ice and your eyes empty.

“I didn’t mean any of it. I was high and… and angry and just stupid, I promise you I- “, Mark fell on his knees, holding onto your legs. “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it.”, he repeated his words over and over again. “I didn’t mean it, please forgive me. Please I love you so much. I can’t live without you.”

“I don’t even know you.”

“You do. You know me! I’m Mark, the Mark who loves you forever until his last breath, I’d die for you, I’m the Mark you always wanted me to be. I love you (Y/n).”

“I-I can’t trust you.”, it hurt so much.

“Yes, you can, just give me a chance. The last months, they were perfect. You fell In love with me twice, we are destined to be together. Please just give me one last chance to make you happy.”, Mark was back on his feet, holding your face in his hands, slowly stroking your tears away with his thumbs.

“I-I don’t know, it’s too much for me right now.”

“Please, please give me another chance, let me show you how much you mean to me and how much I love you. I love you so much.”, Mark kissed your tears away. “I love everything about you. I love your nose, I love your beautiful eyes and I love the way you laugh. I love the way you want to help everyone. You’re so kind, sweet, you have a big heart. I want to hear you laugh until my last day on this planet. I don’t want to see you cry or hurt, I want to make you happy- I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m so thankful that we moved here, I can’t imagine my life without you.”

You knew that Mark’s your soulmate, you fell in love with him twice and all good things come in threes, right?

You kissed him on the lips like never before, so many emotions were going through your bodies and connected like your lips. Pain, longing, yearning, hurt, passion, desire & bittersweet love.

“I still need time, this is just still too much for me to handle. The memories- it feels like I’m with two different Mark’s here right now. I know that you changed, but still, it feels like I just went through the pain all over again.”, you said as you broke off the kiss.

“I understand that, and you can have as much time as you want. I’ll wait for you, no matter what.”, Mark smiled at you and you could feel that he was genuine.

It took a few months until Taeyong accepted the fact that you and Mark were trying again. He still didn’t allow him in the house or any physical contact next to him. Mark proved you that he really changed, he always made sure to make you happy and feel loved. Not a single day without Your mothers started talking again and a heartbreaking, but sweet restart happened. Mark and you finished high school and fortunately you got accepted to the same college. You moved in together and lived the life you always dreamed of.

“Everything’s perfect, but do you know what’s missing?”, Mark asked as you snuggled up to him under the blanket.

“What?”, you placed a sweet little kiss on his jaw.

“Babies.”

#mark lee angst #nct scenarios #nct angst #nct smut #nct127 #mark lee x you #mark lee smut #mark lee x reader #nct imagines #nct 127 angst #nct127 smut #superm #nct2020 #kpop fics #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

[bokunosimpfiction]

Yandere!Heisenberg x Reader Pt 3

A/N: Since y’all demanded a plot that’s what you’ll get. Will it be good? No. I’ve never written anything with a plot in my entire life. Ever. Not even when I did Nanowrimo or whatever. I just bullshitted the whole thing. Like I’ll do with this fic. Y’all are going to have to remind me to update because I have the attention span of a goat. I’ll try to update this on Saturdays??? IDK at this point. ALSO, WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SO POPULAR?????????? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NOTES THIS HAS ON AO3???? 69????SIXITY FUCKING NINE??? I HATE EVERYTHING MY LEGACY WILL BE READER CALLING HEISENBERG DOOFSCHMIRTZ I HATE EVRYTHING DSHFUGSADFJ

Synopsis: You have totally, %100, given up on escaping. Totally. You haven't been gathering supplies for one, final last hurray. Nope. Totally not. All you have to do is persuade Heisenberg of that so you can change your mind at the last minute. Y’all know the trigger warning for this series but if you don’t tw:kidnapping (implied)

Taglist: it’s exclusivly @localdepressedvampire​  so if you want to be on it for just this story or for all my pieces fill out the google doc in my pinned post or dm me and I’ll put you on it. :)

             You’ve made a breakthrough in your long-term plan of escapism. Even with the mini escape attempts that were really about exploring the factory and less about actually trying to get out, you hadn’t made a lot of progress: until now.

             Well, two, really… Okay, maybe 1 ½. Firstly, you found a sawed-off two-barrel shotgun. With ammo. In fact, there was a various amount of ammo around the factory, but no actual gun. Until now. The second discovery, which is nowhere near as useful, was a window. Which was probably 50 or more feet up from the ground. You didn’t get a chance to inspect it that much, considering as soon as you saw it and got a glimpse at the far-off ground, you had to run again from Lycans.

             Which gives you a basic idea of a way to escape. You knew where the ammo was, you knew where the gun was and had a route to the edge of the building, and hopefully could find stairs at the end of the hallway. Now all you had to do was find a time where you could be gone long enough to get a decent head start before, he notices you’re even gone. Even when he was in the workshop, he kept a close eye on you, keeping you in arms-length to the point where it taxed on both of your mental health.

             And even then, in that chair in the small room, you watch him work in the finer details on something the size of your head and torso. You try not to look at the phone in your lap, he doesn’t even know you have it, much less how great the reception is in the building. How did he not know about his old phone that was still working fine? Oh well, he doesn’t need to know you’re looking at memes and reading feel-good wolf-star fanfic on ao3.

             The best idea you had was to leave him while he was asleep, but there were two some issues with that: he clung to you like his life depended on it, your back to his chest and arms around you almost tight enough to keep you awake; it was dark as hell in the hallways of the factory as is, but it would be impossible to navigate safely with the lights; and the Lycans were most active outside at night, which was where you were trying to go. They’ve tried to eat you before as they show no discrimination on food.

             The only way to get a good enough head start would be to leave while he didn’t notice you were gone, and wouldn’t notice for a long, long time. And that when it hit you. The only time he ever left you by yourself was when he had to deal with the other three lords. And while he left you in that basement that you originally woke up in, you had memorized your way out and found that going up five flights of stairs took you to that faithful widow.

             Would you have enough time to explore and look for an actual exit/entrance, or should you play it safe and find a way to go out that window. You wanted to laugh to yourself, you’d never think that going down a 50ft plus drop would be considered safe, but here you were, kidnapped and held hostage by one of the people your late grandmother warned you not to associate with, or even go near. The letter you received directly quoted “the four lords and their mother, Mother Miranda, are not to be approached or associated with at any costs. You’ll know them when you see them, they smell like death and money. See them and run.”

             You can’t help but find that ironic, considering that you did try to run, heeded her warning, and still faced the consequences that were far worse than she had warned you about. You regretted coming here, to this small village, when you first arrived: no friends, and even those you tried to approach held you to her standard and expected them to be just like her. You were far from her kind and optimistic nature (at least that’s what you heard of her; you hadn’t even known of her whereabouts until she was dead).

             Even the duke, who had helped smuggle you into the village, didn’t seem fond of you. It was a shame, you tried so hard to impress him. But he saw you to a point where you could easily reach her old cottage without having too many issues, turned his cart around, and left without a good-bye. It bothered you to no end that your only companion for about a year or so was an elderly outside cat and the creaking noises the walls made at night.

             And then the cat died and not even a week later you got kidnapped. You never considered yourself lucky, but damn if that wasn’t the worst streak of luck you’ve had in a long time.

             You pretend to turn a page in your book and scroll through your Instagram feed, seeing friends having fun at the beach, or studying at the library, or your old best friend taking selfies in provocative clothing to your ex-boyfriend. Did she forget he cheated on you? She wasn’t always the smartest, but she brought that heartbreak upon herself. You see a photo of your mom, she had posted a picture of a black and white photo of her with her mom, you’re guessing, you have no idea who that old woman is.

             This is the last photo I had with my mom before she died. We lost contact after I moved out. I wish we parted on better terms, Nana.

             She’s in a prairie dress, holding an ancient-looking key in one hand, and the other wrapped around her mom, a middle-aged woman with long hair in two braids and a face that had too many stress wrinkles. You guess your mom was as bad as you were in college. The background looks dreary. You would have guessed it to be the quality of the photo if you hadn’t recognized the house behind them as the house you lived in used to live in.

             The loops on the handle of the key look familiar. You spread your fingers apart to zoom in and see the blurry engravings on the side. It was the payment you gave to sneak into the village. You thought it was a worthless family heirloom at most and found it strange that he had even found interest in the key, or even valued it deeper than money in general. Maybe this photo or other photos of you and your family would help out.

             Why is that key suddenly piquing your interest? Were you that bored, as to sit there and think about a key that was at least twice your age? A key that you didn’t even have. You needed a hobby besides escapism and rejecting your captor’s sexual advances. You look up at him again, only to find him leaning against the desk, hat off and sunglass placed on his forehead, his gaze on you. It wasn’t his normal piercing one, that studied you and calculated your every move, but soft and lazy. His current gaze was dreamy; he was daydreaming about you. You found that equally undaring s it was unnerving.

             “Karl.”

             “Yes, Sweetiepea?” Honestly, what the fuck.

             “Firstly, why are you staring at me like that? Secondly, that is the most disgusting way to use that pet name. I need to take a shower after you called me that.”

             He chuckles light-heartedly. Even his softer more genuine, happy chuckles are booming and loud. “Okay… Sugarplum!” And he busts out laughing.

             Clearly dodging the first question and focusing on the second. You can’t believe you gave him ammo for his annoying-you-gun. And you thought you’d grown immune to most of his… less-savory traits. Were you growing used to him? Next thing you know you’re going to like him and develop Stockholm syndrome!

             “You’re a shit head, hobo magneto…” You turn your head away and let your hair cover half your face so he can’t see you smile. You’ll miss him when you escape and get the duke to smuggle you back to your home in Bucharest. But only a little. Just because calling Heisenberg these names are funny.

             “Why don’t you call me by my name, I know you know it.”

             “You sure about that?” You quip back.

             “You’ve lived with me for at least two months now!”

             “Hm…. I think I know your name! It’s uh…” You are totally faking not knowing his name. “It’s… Heidi Carlson? Yeah, that sounds about right!”

             “It’s Karl Heisenberg!”

             “Quit being so silly, Heidi! Maybe it’s nap-time!” This was a little too fun.

             He looks back at his project for a moment and genuinely considers it. “I know you’re being antagonistic but you’re probably right.” And with that, he walks towards you and goes to scoop you up. You have to shut your book quickly in order for him not to notice the phone in between its pages before you let him pick you up.

             He immediately notices that. “Are… Are you sick?”

             “No! Of course not!” Because you genuinely aren’t sick, and he’s already up in your business as-is, you don’t need him dotting on you because he thinks you’re sick or something. You’ll go fucking crazy.

             “You’ve put in zero effort into anything remotely physical since your last little failed escape attempt.” He gave it a little bit of thought. “You’ve given up, haven’t you, and you’re just depressed about it aren’t you?”

             You want to say no, you really do, but if Heisenberg thinks you’ve given up on escaping, perhaps it’ll give you enough space to plan the big one. The reverse heist so to speak. “No- I… okay maybe I have but I still don’t like you.

             He leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead. “Good girl. Now let’s get us that well-deserved nap.”

             You plug your nose and turn away as a joke. “You’ve gotta take a bath first, you smell like oil and sweat.” You don’t fight it, because you have to play the part, but you still have to act a little bit like yourself.

             “Okay, fine doll, but don’t think you’ve escaped my barrage of affection, because as soon as I get out of the shower-“

             You bonk him. And he looks at you so confused before he smiles and leans down to nuzzle his nose against yours. You try to hold the bile back in your mouth and lean forward and peck his lips before leaning back. You failed at trying to not visibly gag.

             “Ew… I can’t believe I just kissed you.”

             “Well, I guess someone caught feelings… Didn’t they?”

#Karl Heisenberg #yandere Heisenberg #yandere resident evil #resident evil x reader #yandere heisenberg x reader #heisenberg x reader #tw: kidnapping #fluff #well it's as fluffy as it gets with sarcastic reader-chan and yandere heisenberg #he thinks this is fluffy #because he's fucking delusional

[headheartbellarke]

HOME | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon:  "Hi! If request are open can you do a charlie imagine where him and the reader (she/her) met on a project a while back and have been friends for a while, but the reader kinda had a crappy home life so she gets overwhelmed by charlies family being so loving and perfect and she basically breaks down and feels like she doesn’t fit in and isn’t good enough for him? please and thank you so much, ur writing is amazing!!!"

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem! reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, anxiety, angst, fluff

WORDS: 2,036

SUMMARY: charlie takes co-star and girlfriend y/n home for christmas but that leads to self doubt in her (im so bad at these) [note: this takes place in 2021]

    As Charlie pulls out the key from the ignition, I sigh, wringing my hands nervously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces me, giving me a bright, happy smile.

  “My family is so excited to meet you.” He says, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “What if they hate me?” I whisper.

  My boyfriend, Charlie, and I first met on the set of Charmed – we were both in the first episode, but I left it after that due to scheduling conflicts with my other show, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I had been a part of CAOS since its first episode – I played the role of Sabrina’s cousin, Sarah Spellman.

  Back then, we were just friends. After I left Charmed, we would text and call each other occasionally. Whenever we were in the same city, we would meet up – but that was hard considering we both had quite different lives. So, we didn’t think of each other as more than friends – sure I thought that he was attractive, but that’s it.

  But, in 2020, after CAOS was cancelled, I got a call from the casting director of Julie and The Phantoms: she was the one who had previously cast me in CAOS, and she believed that I’d be perfect for the role of Julie’s British cousin who joins her school after her parents relocate to LA – I also play Reggie’s love interest.

  I texted Charlie immediately after my manager finalized all the details for the new role. He had been excited and when shooting started in 2021, we were pretty inseparable.

  After a few weeks, I had developed a major crush on him ad the rest of the cast had also picked up on that. They were also convinced that Charlie liked me (which I didn’t believe at that time but later found out that it was, indeed, true) and they used to tease us about it all the time. Finally, a couple weeks before production ended, he asked me out on a date and it’s been really, really great so far.

  We’ve been dating for about nine months now and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my home – all my life I’ve always felt lost, but I feel like I truly belong with him.

  Now, he laughs. “Baby. I promise you – they already love you. My mother’s been bugging me to bring you home ever since we started dating, and you’ve already met Megan, and she loves you.”

  “If you say so.” I say, still not convinced.

  He grins and we get out of his car and face his childhood home. I take a deep breath, shaking off my nerves. He knocks three times on the front door, and it opens immediately after.

  A petite, blonde woman steps out, with a wide smile on her face. She opens her arms as Charlie yells, “Mamacita!”

  “Mon chéri. Ça fait trop longtemps!”

  “Je vous ai manqué!”

  I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, but the scene in front of me is so heart-warming. Charlie’s mother is genuinely happy to see her son – one can tell by the way she’s holding him, almost like he’s a little child. Charlie is quite a couple inches taller than her, but he’s nestled his face into her shoulder.

  I can’t stop a grin from breaking out on my face. It’s honestly rather lovely. But I also feel a slight pang in my heart knowing that no one ever greets me like this when I go home.

  They separate from each other and she squeezes his shoulders, looking at him with so much love that I have to look away. I have never seen a mother look at their child like that, with such intense love. That’s dumb, I know. Mothers are supposed to love their children. But all my mother ever looks at me with is disappointment, anger, disgust, and – you get it.

  She notices me next and claps her hands. “You must be Y/N!”

  “Hi, Mrs. Gillespie. It’s so nice to meet you!” I extend a hand toward her.

  “Aw, come here! You’re gorgeous.”

  She pulls me in for a hug too, and for a moment I’m engulfed by the smell of white musk and the feeling of warmth.

  We pull apart and I smile at her, genuinely. All my anxiety has washed away.

  “My son is always talking about you, about how pretty you are and –”

  “Let’s go inside!” Charlie quickly cuts her off, eyes widened as I laugh.

  “But I wanna know what he says!”

  Mrs Gillespie winks at me as Charlie turns scarlet. “I’ll tell you when he’s gone.”

***

    Another roar of laughter erupts around the dinner table.

  Honestly, I’ve never seen a family like this – a family so connected, so loving. All of Charlie’s siblings – from his three older brothers to his little sister are here for Christmas Eve, and all of them are teasing each other, telling childhood stories, and just having the best time. I was, too. That was until I suddenly realized how I don’t fit in here.

  Everyone here grew up completely different than I did. When I was young, about two years old – my dad left my mom and I for another woman. I haven’t seen him since – although, he sends me a postcard and some money on holidays and birthdays. He’s travelling around the world with his new wife and is apparently ‘happier than he’s ever been.’

  The reason he left is because kids ‘freak’ him out and he isn’t ‘ready’ for that kind of responsibility. I mean, it wasn’t like he was fifteen when he had me: he was twenty-seven, and already married to my mother for about two years then.

  Naturally, my mother blames me for her divorce. I was born out of an accidental pregnancy, so my mother made sure to remind me every day that I was unwanted, and my birth was what ‘pushed’ him to leave us. Every single day, my mother told me that I shouldn’t have been born, that I was a mistake, that I was worthless, unlovable and so, so many more horrible things. She used to drink like crazy, and if I accidentally faced her in that state, she would sometimes hit me.

  Years and years of abuse and all that childhood trauma led me to develop a fear of abandonment, trust issues, intimacy issues, anxiety, and depression. Throughout school, I had been closed off, unable to form relationships and friendships with other people. I had feared anything and everything – I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with people.

  Of course, when I auditioned for CAOS and moved away to LA, away from that toxic environment, I got help and turned my life around. (My mother was incredibly happy to see me go since she had married another guy and now has a family with him – so I was the only thing left that reminded her of my father.) I learnt to accept, prioritize, and love myself – but I’m still working on that, of course.

  But, I know, deep down, no matter how well I am, or how happy I am – there will always be a part of me that’s broken. I’ve grown to accept that, accept the fact that I’ll always carry the trauma with me.

  But Charlie doesn’t. He’s lived a good life, and he deserves someone who can give him their everything – and that’s not me.

  As much as I hate to say it, I’m not good enough for him.

  He senses a change in my demeanour and squeezes my hand under the table. I give him a weak smile.

***

    “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?”

  I look up at my boyfriend. He has a look of concern on his face as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.

  I sigh into the quiet. Everyone has fallen asleep, except Charlie and I – we are seated in his living room in front of the fireplace.

  “Nothing. I’m just really tired.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N. You were fine throughout dinner – oh my god, it’s the ice cream, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “The pistachio ice cream that Maman made. It was weirdly bitter, eh? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

  I purse my lips. “No, Charlie. The ice cream was great.”

  “Are you sure? You’ve been down since desert.”

  “It’s not the ice cream, babe.”

  “Okay, then, what is it?”

  He looks at me expectantly, and I can sense that he’s feeling anxious.

  “I just – I realized that I don’t fit in.”

  He furrows his brows, but before he can say anything, I start speaking again. “Charlie, you have such a loving and perfect family. And you know how I grew up. What I went through. So, you know that I’m not used to this. I’m not – I’ve never seen love like this in a family, you know. And I don’t fit in here! While your mother was being so nice to me, I kept wondering when she’s going to scream at me. Or when your father was genuinely interested in me, I kept thinking that maybe he’s trying to find a way to get rid of me. It’s just – it’s just the way I grew up, and I’ll always be like this, Char. Your family is so nice, and it shocks me, honestly. And I think that maybe it’s better if you date someone who grew up the way you did, someone who’s like you. Because I have been broken my whole life, and I don’t think that I can give you everything that you need. I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met, and I think you should be with someone who’s worthy of you.”

  I whisper the last part, and feel a teardrop fall into the space between my collarbones. I look down because I’m too afraid of what he might say.

  I hear him breathe out heavily and I feel him take my hands in his.

  “Don’t you ever say that.”

  “But it’s true –”

  “Y/N. Don’t you dare doubt yourself. You are good enough. No, you’re perfect. You’re the strongest woman I know. I completely understand why you feel what you’re feeling right now.”

  He scoots closer to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel shocked. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you not good enough. In fact, it makes all the stronger – you went through so much as a kid, and still, you have space in your heart for me. You know, I never doubt the fact that you love me, ever. Because you always make me feel special, make me feel good about myself and always make sure that I’m happy. You always go out of your way to take care of me, and you always make me feel at home. I don’t want anyone other than you. I love you so much and I never, ever wanna lose you.”

  I think I’m fully crying now, as Charlie continues, “It’s okay to feel that way. Take your time. But I’m never leaving you. You’re my person, and you’ll always fit in with me, baby. Always.”

  “Charlie…”

  I look at him properly, and I can see the pain in his eyes as a tear traces along the curve of his cheek. He sniffs, saying, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

  “Why are you so good to me?” I whisper, my throat still tight from the emotions.

  “Because you deserve someone good, and I can only hope that I’m good for you.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as a sob escapes my body. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.” I keep whispering that, while he rubs my back, saying ‘it’s okay.’

  “I love you so much, Charlie. Honestly, thanks for being so good to me. You have no idea what you mean to me.”

  I can feel him smile as he says, “I think I have a pretty good idea, yeah.”

***

jatp requests are open <3

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie imagines #charlie gillespie x y/n #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie fanfic #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie + reader #charlie gillespie + y/n #julie and the phantoms #jatp #charlie gillespie oneshot #jatp oneshot #luke patterson #owen patrick joyner #owen joyner #jeremy shada #madison reyes #savannah lee may #charlie x reader #julie and the himbos #charlie gillespie x fem!reader #charlie gillespie fluff #charlie gillespie angst #julie and the phantoms imagine #julie and the phantoms oneshot #jatp fanfic #jatp fanfiction #jatp charlie gillespie #fluff

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 30 (12K Follower Special)

(Master Post)

I want to thank you guys for being so patient with this fic. Its hard to believe its been a year since I first wrote part 1. I have been agonizing over this part for so long, I hope you all enjoy it. PS, I would love to hear what you guys think. And please share it around.)

_______________________________________________________________________

Lila used her key to unlock the front door. She quietly entered only to see her mother smiling at her.

“I was wondering where you were. How is everything honey?” Her mother greeted.

Lila put on a smile for her and greeted her with a cheek kiss. She was not expecting to see her mother up. She would have sworn she would be asleep. The work at the embassy often left her mother drained, it was rare when she was up an about at night when she was home.

“I had to slip by the school. Make sure that I had everything I needed for tomorrow.” She answered.

“Studious as always. I am so proud of you.”

“Of course! If I want to be as amazing as you I have to keep up with my school work.”

Lila knew her mother would eat up the flattery. Her mother was a gullible woman that loved to be complimented. She was not stupid, but she was far too trusting. The brunette knew all too well that her mother had often had her kindness taken advantage of by others.

“I was listening to the answering machine messages, and I noticed your principal called. He says that he is glad to have you back from your leave of absence?”

Lila didn’t bother sweating the comment.

“It's an error with the school computer. Remember how my old school had similar issues? I will clear it up this week.”

“Of course. School systems don’t really change much wherever you go, we really need to discuss that at the next meeting.”

“Don’t worry Mamma, I am making the most of it.”

“Mia stellina I know you will. That is why I got you a gift.”

“Oh?”

Lila watched as her mother pulled out a small box that was gift wrapped. Handing it to her daughter.

“I am sorry I had been gone most of last week. Things have been hectic. What with the… oh you don’t need to worry about all that. I saw this on my way back and I was saving it for your birthday, but I figured now would be a good time.”

Lila opened the present to reveal a lovely silver bracelet, with a small charm in the shape of an eye mask. Her mother knew Lila had a love of masks and would make sure that if there was some place she went that was interesting, she would get her a mask from that place.

“Thank you, Mamma, it is lovely.” Lila hugged her mother. Managing to hide how little she actually cared about the gift.

“I knew you would love it. It will look so lovely on you when we go out to dinner with your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?”

“The handsome blond model you told me about. Adrien?”

“Oh! Right. Yes of course. My boyfriend. Though I am not sure he will be able to have dinner with us anytime soon. His father has him on such a strict schedule.”

Mrs. Rossi frowned.

“We can work something out another time. I’d really like to meet him.”

“I’m sure he feels the same way.”

Lila began making her way to her room.

“I think I’m going to get ready for school tomorrow.”

“Alright dear, I will be here all day tomorrow, maybe I can swing by your school and we can have lunch together.”

“Sounds great. Looking forward to it.”

Lila closed the door to her room.

She let her fake smile leave her face as she looked at the bracelet.

Tacky

Lila didn’t hate the gift, no, she did like that her mother did take the time to get her something. She just wished her mother could have gotten her something better. But really, Lila couldn’t really expect much despite how hard her mother works.

Lila looked over the bracelet more, her mind wandering as she stared at the little mask charm. It looked reminiscent of the masks worn in Mascaraed balls. Lila had to admit it was very fitting.

Everyone wears masks. People sculpt a persona, a personality in which they deal with people. They wear it as best as they can. People often change their masks as they grow or go to new environments. Lila was well aware of that. She was practically a master of it at this point.

Even her sweet naïve momma wears a mask. The mask that she is happy and doing fulfilling work. Lila knows better than anyone that her mother was practically forced to take this position.

Being a diplomat to Paris was considered the worst option when given a choice. Considering how there are depressed supervillains that pop up and nearly destroy the city several times a week because of a Super Terrorist’s quest for jewelry. Lila remembered how her momma tried so hard to spin this into a positive light. How this was her first role as an ambassador and that if she proved herself, she could choose her next assignment. Lila would have rather had gone to any country other than France, even America was preferable and they have their own craziness to deal with. Nevertheless, her mother did her best to be cheerful as she was thrown into this.

Lila refused to be like that, one’s mask should be the person they want to be, not the person they have to be. She would try out a different persona with each place she went, and sure enough, she would leave with a fun experience just before everything went crumbling down.  She would then start from scratch and no one was the wiser.

Paris turned out to be the best place for this, since everything here is so bizarre here, no one would think twice about looking into a lie that seems outlandish. So, Lila allowed herself to be a bit more reckless with her actions. She had to admit, that her carelessness now needed to be corrected, she had allowed herself to get too lax with how good things have been and it nearly blew her cover 3 times. She needed to fix things.

She snapped back to reality, staring at the bracelet. She still wasn’t a fan of the look, but it was still a gift from her mother.

She would wear it tomorrow for her lunch with her mother. But afterwards she can slip it into her bag or something and forget about it. Her mother would be back to being worked like crazy and forget about it after two weeks.

Her phone began vibrating, pulling her out of her thoughts.

She looked at the number and her eyes went wide. It was Alya.

Did that nosy reporter see her at the school?! No, that can’t be possible. She was likely calling about something else. The Italian exchange student took a calming breath and answered her phone.

“Evening Alya? Whats up”

“Hey girl.” Alya greeted with her usual cheery tone. Alya was doing her best not to be in a fiery rage right now, she needed to be calm. A good reporter keeps calm under pressure. “I am just working on an article for the Ladyblog. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

“Of course. So, if it’s for the Ladyblog it must be ladybug related. What do you want to ask about? I am an open book.” Lila matched the cheery tone Alya had given her, she was hiding her absolute disgust over the subject. Ladybug was one of the last people Lila wanted to talk about right now, especially with how that heroine left her locked in a closet during the last akuma attack.

“Oh, it’s about akumatization. You know, that thing with the butterflies that maniacal monster Hawkmoth does to people. I am writing an article of how it impacts people and with how close you are with Ladybug, I figured she might have leaked a detail or two that I wasn’t aware of. Do you mind answering some questions about it?”

This wasn’t a complete lie, Alya was writing about Akumatization, but it was about Lila’s times as an akuma specifically.

“Well I might have a detail or two that could be shared. Ask away!”

Lila knew she had already had a close call with Alya earlier this week, she didn’t want to give the reporter a single reason to think she was a bad person. She could lie about a thing or two if needed to ensure that this line was secure, until she left the girl dangling from a cliff.

“Great! Thanks for doing this. You are a life saver.”

“Glad I can help, so bring on the questions.”

“Right. First question, how many times have you been akumatized?”

Lila was about to answer three, once during her first time in Paris, once during Heroes’ day, and once during her day back, that of course wouldn’t be good. She had said during Heroes’ day she was on a leave of absence outside of Paris. So that won’t do.

“Two. Once on my first day at Dupont, and the second time on my first day back.”

She is Lying

Alya had noticed the lie, Lila had been akumatized at least three times. Once was during her first day, the second time was at Heroes’ day because there were reports of Volpina among the akuma army. If Lila was out of France at that time, Volpina couldn’t have possibly been there. The day she got back had to have been her third time akumatized.

“I see, and during both of those times you felt intense emotional distress. Correct?”

“My memory is a bit fuzzy on them, but yes. I can say that I felt emotionally vulnerable.”

“As expected. And you have no memory of the activities you did while you were an akuma?”

“That is correct. If I was in complete control, there is no way I would have done such awful things.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t. Now this question is a bit more of a confirmation, something of a rumor among the Ladyblog. There is some speculation that if you accept the akuma willingly, you will maintain your memory of what happened while as an akuma. Is that something you can confirm?”

“Yes, Ladybug mentioned it once during a conversation. She was worried that Hawkmoth had some ‘Supporters’ that willingly did his bidding. I also believe if the person gives up the akuma willingly back to Hawkmoth they retain their memories during their time as an akuma. But I am not certain of that.” Lila added a touch of some truth to make it appear more legit that she and Ladybug are close. That is some personal information she discovered for herself. Lila was certain that this would ensure Alya trusted her.

Alya was certain Lila was willingly working with Hawkmoth and that she would never trust this liar ever again.

“Oh wow, that is very interesting. So just to assure the readers that you aren’t one of those followers. Have you ever accepted the akuma for yourself willingly?” Alya made sure the question had a lighthearted tone to come off as a joke.

Lila laughed.

“Willingly work with that butterfly creep? You would have to be someone with no empathy to even consider it.”

“One last thing, is it alright if I quote you in my article? If not, I will keep your name out of the…”

“By all means go ahead. I would love to be a part of your work if you want me to be.”

“Alright, I’ve got everything I need. Thanks again Lila. I should have this article out by tomorrow.”

“Anytime. I’m looking forward to reading it.”

“Have a good night.”

“You too.”

Lila hung up the phone with a content smile.

She is none the wiser. I even did a little bit of good letting her in on that bit of information on Hawkmoth. That should send some good karma my way

Lila smiled as yawned suddenly. She decided now would be a good time for bed.

_______________________________________________________________________

Alya smiled as she made sure she was off the call.

“Thanks Lila, you have no idea how much help that was.”

She had transcribed the interview into her article as she was talking with the liar.

She read through it to make sure there were no errors

“Alright, and this will be up tomorrow morning after first period.”

She scrolled up to the top page of the article which read:

Friend of Ladybug or Akuma Collaborator? The Truth on Lila Rossi

“Now to add the last few edits before going to bed.”

_______________________________________________________________________

The ride back to the Dupain Bakery was quiet for most of it. It seemed to fly by as the two teens held hands while the large mountain of a man drove them back.

Everything felt so surreal. A wonderful breakfast, a pleasant time of checking out the latest exhibits of the Louvre, a peaceful stroll through the park, an intense session of ice skating, and the dramatic confession on the top of the Eiffel tower which did not go as expected, but still went over very well.

“Marinette.”

“Yes Adrien?”

The blond model felt his face heat up a bit as he tried to speak up.

“So… I guess we can cancel that idea of talking things over in a week.” Adrien said with a nervous laugh.

“Yea… I suppose so.” She giggled.

The two were both happy with how things turned out, but both were still sort of shocked on what to do now.

“How are we going to tell the others? Should we text them so they aren’t stunned?”

“I think this is something that would be better told in person.”

“You mean bragged about?” Adrien teased.

“Maybe.”

The two blushed at this before laughing more. They felt like toddlers that were let loose in a candy store. Excited and bubbly.

“So, we tell them tomorrow then?”

“Yes,”

“Alright, sounds like a plan.”

The limo stops, causing the two to move slightly forward but their seatbelts kept them from moving off the seat.

“I guess this is my stop.”

“Let me get the door for you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“And what gentleman would I be if I didn’t help a Lady out of the car?”

Marinette’s eyes went wide for a moment. The way he said that rang familiar. But she shook that out of her head. She was going to stop comparing him to chat noir.

Adrien didn’t notice the brief blank out as he got out of the car to open her side.

Marinette got out of the vehicle and gave him a smile.

“Why thank you, kind sir.”

“Shall I walk with you to the door?”

Marinette gave the polite gentleman teen a kiss on the cheek.

“Here is good enough. If you walked with me to the door, My Parents would likely invite you in, and your father would be upset if you were gone any later than necessary”

“Very true.”

Adrien mentally cursed at the fact that his father had a stick up his ass the size of the Eiffel Tower.

“Good night Marinette.”

“Good night Adrien.”

Marinette walked to her door and used her key to enter the bakery.

Once the door was closed, Adrien went back into the limo, he closed the door and sighed happily.

“It’s a beautiful night.”

The driver said nothing as he began driving the boy home, but he did have a small ghost of a smile on his face. 

______________________________________________________________________

Marinette closed the door behind her before sliding down with a loving sigh. Her legs were jelly.

Her kwami flew out of her bag.

“Seems everything went well.” The ladybug kwami commented with a sly smile.

“I’m dating Adrien Agreste.” Marinette stated blissfully. Her eyes were sparkling as if she had found the 8thwonder of the world.

“I am so happy for you Marinette. I knew you could do it.”

“This must be a dream. All of this is some dream, I’m still in bed and I slept through my alarm. Adrien is actually downstairs waiting and probably regretting every… OW!”

Marinette noticed her kwami had pinched her hand.

“Tikki! Why did you do that?!”

“To prove you were awake.”

Marinette paused before going back to her joyous expression.

“Its real!”

The kwami loved seeing her chosen so happy.

“We should probably head upstairs, you have to tell your parents all about it. I believe your dad was keen on finding out details.”

“Right! I have to tell them everything.”

Marinette had so many people she wanted to tell. Her parents, Alya, the girls, Chat noir…

She felt herself stop.

“Marinette?”

“I’ll have to tell Chat noir.” Her feelings felt a bit jumbled now that this thought was given life. And something told her this would not be as much fun as telling the others, whether it was because of how he would feel or how she feels about it.

“That can wait another time, you can’t just lay on the bakery floor.” Tikki commented, trying to change the mood.

“Good point, I should probably get up.”

Marinette knew she would have to tell the cat sometime, but there would be a right time and place. Right now, was a time to be happy and enjoy the fact that she was dating her crush.

_______________________________________________________________________

Adrien arrived home to see Nathalie waiting at the door.

“And how was your day with Miss Dupain Cheng?” Nathalie inquired, her usual monotone hid her genuine interest.

The blond smiled a bit.

“You will be seeing her around me a lot more, I will need to work with you to rearrange my schedules if I want to be able to have time with her.”

“I see. I will see what I can do.”

“Is father…”

“He is occupied with work, you’ll be able to tell him about your day during your scheduled dinner this upcoming Friday.”

Adrien’s smile faltered slightly, he thought things were going to be different with how his father had shown sudden interest in his life the other day. But this was likely for the best.

“Thank you, Nathalie. I will be heading to my room. Have a good night.”

“You too Adrien.”

Adrien headed to his room. Despite his father’s absence on the matter, he was still in a good mood and he would not let the distance get to him.

His smile blossomed once his door was closed and his kwami companion bursted out of his pocket

“Well done Romeo, you got the girl.” The cat kwami congratulated his wielder as he moved to his stash to help himself to some cheese.

“It’s kind of hard to believe it’s real. It feels like a dream. I didn’t think I could be this happy, Plagg.”

“Well good, you deserve to be happy considering all the crap you go through.” Plagg stated as he found a nice chunk of Camembert with extra stink.

Adrien laid back on his bed, he could just revel in the warmth of this day for a while.

“I wonder how everyone will react to finding out. I kind of want to text Nino and let him know.”

“I don’t really understand the big deal with this reveal stuff. You are acting like this is an unmasking ceremony or something.”

Plagg realized his words may not have been wisely picked.

“That’s right, I will need to let Ladybug know.”

Adrien was silent, his expression hard to read as his words hung in the air.

“You are okay with all of this right?” Plagg asked.

“I did say that no matter who was under that mask, I would love that girl. I meant it, but there are many different types of love. It doesn’t need to be romantic. I think it took me some time to realize that.”

Plagg chomps on to his cheese.

“Well, as long as you are sure.”

Adrien stretched.

“I should get ready for bed”

“Why? It’s still early.”

“I don’t want to be tired when I see Marinette tomorrow.”

Plagg rolled his eyes at the soft smile on the blond’s face.

“I don’t know how you did it, but you are actually cheesier then cheese.”

_______________________________________________________________________

“Okay Kim, I get it. The guy in the show modified himself to look like a cucumber.”

“Max, you aren’t even listening! It was a pickle! A pickle, Max! I swear it is the funniest…”

Max was distracted. By his phone vibrating.

“Hold on Kim, I got a text from Alya, it might be urgent. I will have to call you back.”

“That’s cool, but I am showing you that clip. It is hilarious. “

Max secretly thankful that he had an excuse to hang up. He loved his friend, but he had weird taste.

Max looked at the text.

Everything is set up, make sure that the mass email goes up after first period starts. We need to have everyone is in class.

Max understood. he would adjust the time that everything got sent out.

Affirmative, Any other last-minute requests?

Max waited for a snarky reply from Alya.

Nah, we’re good. Thanks Again.

Max sent a thumbs up emoji and put the phone to the side.

“Markov. Adjust the timing of the mass email to 15 minutes after first period.”

The robot turned his mechanical screen to his creator.

“Consider it done”

“Thanks Markov.”

Max took a deep breath and called Kim back.

“So, you were saying about the pickle.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Lila assumed she would be the first to arrive at school. She had made sure to get up earlier than usual so she could slip into the school and make sure everything was set up. To her surprise, she had found the classroom had two students sitting at their desks.

“Alya, Nino. You’re both here early.” Lila did her best not to sound mad about it.

Nino yawned as he drank from the coffee that he had bought with Alya before coming.

“Alya was so hyped about today she couldn’t sleep. So, She called me this morning and asked for a coffee date to help keep her awake.”

Alya was snoozing on her desk face first.

“Maybe get a double shot for her, she seems really exhausted. Wait was this about that paper for the ladyblog she was writing?”

“Wait you know about that?” Nino’s eyes wide, how did Lila know about the article? Was this plan going to backfire? Nino wasn’t sure if he said too much.

“Yea, she called me last night to answer a few questions. She was pretty excited about it. I suppose an article about akumatization would be popular.”

Nino eased himself, it’s clear Lila did not know what was in the article.

“Ah, well she was working on it all weekend.”

“Knowing Alya, that article will be exactly what she needs to get buzz on the blog.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Lila strolled up to her seat, it was clear the exhausted Alya and Drowzy Nino didn’t notice the evidence she had planted under Marinette’s chair. Lila smiled as she thought about how well today would go.

Lila pulled out her stuff and began to survey the classroom. Everything was set up exactly as she had done yesterday. All she needed to do was wait for everyone to show up, and then let the plan go into motion.

Nino sat at his desk, he was pretending to not be paying attention, but he was keeping watch of the devious liar. Lila was sneaky, and his girlfriend was in the middle of a power nap to be observant. Of course, he knew he wasn’t the most convincing fibber, so he would need to be subtle in keeping a close eye on the liar.

Lila had gotten up from her desk and left the classroom for a brief moment. She felt herself shudder.

What is this chill I’m getting, something doesn’t seem right with those two… are they suspicious?

Lila shook the thought out of her head. It was clear that they were just tired, likely on edge from lack of sleep. Getting paranoid would lead to her getting sloppy again. She needed to play this right. Today was the day everything started going her way again.

_______________________________________________________________________

Marinette was bubbly on her way to school. She couldn’t wait to tell Alya and the girls all about what happened yesterday. She knew that Alya would probably be over the moon, and something like this could only be said in person, texting would ruin the moment.

“Marinette, you might want to slow down.” Tikki pipped up from her bag. “I think someone is nearby.”

The designer slowed her pace a bit.

Marinette closed her bag and turned around to see a blond teen running up to her.

“Adrien?”

Marinette stopped to let the boy catch up.

“I… I wanted to surprise you at the bakery.” He said between breaths. “I wanted to walk with you to school.”

Marinette felt her cheeks warm at the statement.

“But I … miscalculated how far you were from my house and to make up for time… I sprinted.”

“You usually have your bodyguard drive you to class. Is your father okay with you walking to school?”

Adrien finished catching his breath.

“He doesn’t know and it’s probably better that he doesn’t, but I let my bodyguard know in advance. He seemed fine with it… Just as long as I message him when I am at school.”

“Sneaking out of the house to meet with a girl, I didn’t know I was dating a badboy.”

Adrien looked at Marinette with surprise until he realized she was joking. He found himself chuckling.

“Now you know the truth, I also have a leather jacket in my closet.” Adrien said while doing his best to look tough to play up the ‘Bad boy’ look he was trying and failing to portray.

Marinette giggled at that lame attempt. Adrien loved that sound.

“I don’t think I can imagine that. Besides, I like good boys.”

Marinette started walking to school.

Adrien sighed happily before matching her pace to join her.

He reached out his hand to hold hers, still nervous about how to go about this dating thing. Sure enough, Marinette was more than happy to hold his hand.

______________________________________________________________________

“I’m up!” Alya exclaimed as she shot up.

“Aw man! Now the moment is gone. I was going to draw on her face.” A pink haired teen frowned, as she held an open marker in her hand but Nino was standing in between her and the formerly sleeping teen.

The reporter quickly gathered her bearings and looked at the smaller teen.

“Like hell you are going to mark up my face.”

“Well now that you’re awake it’s no fun.” Alix commented with dissatisfaction. “Maybe later.”

Alya rolled her eyes. She is too tired to deal with whatever Alix is up to.

“I’m glad you got up, I wasn’t sure I could hold her off any longer.” Nino sighed in relief.

Alya stretched in order to wake herself up from her lethargic state.

“Did school start yet?”

“Not yet, but most of the class is here”

“Anything suspicious with you-know-who?”

“She was the first one to arrive in class after us. She went outside for about 5 minutes then came back into her seat. After that, nothing weird.”

“Okay, and I guess you didn’t notice anything else.”

“Nothing”

“Okay, and why does Alix want to draw on my face so bad? Did she make a bet with Kim?”

“Kim bet her 10 Euros that she wouldn’t be able to do it.”

“She will be out some cash.”

Chloé walked into the classroom with Sabrina following shortly behind. It was apparent that the mayor’s daughter was in a mood.

She looked up to Max’s seat and moved her way up. The robot enthusiast didn’t realize she was there until she slammed her hand on his desk. The sudden action startled him and made him look up at the clearly driven teen.

“I did some digging about your little app.” Chloé spat with disgust.

It took Max a moment to figure out what she was referring to.

“Oh, you mean ‘Soulmate Searcher.”

“I know all about that Soulmate Survey bull crap.”

Max had lost interest in that whole thing after he had some more startling information revealed to him. He had even forgot about the argument he had with Chloé.

“Wait, you’re still hung up on that?”

“You were the one talking about how smart and junk it was. I had Sabrina do some digging.”

Max looked to Sabrina, the poor ginger haired girl had a rough night. Likely researching for Chloé.

“Look, I kind of moved past looking into it. So, let’s just agree to disagree and move on.”

Chloé glared at the glasses wearing teen and snapped her fingers.

On cue, Sabrina dumped at least a couple dozen pages on the desk.

Max really didn’t care about this right now, he had a much more important objective to focus on, this was an annoying distraction.

Astonishingly it was Nathanael that picked up a few of the articles.

“These are all written by the same guy.” The artist commented as he kept changing articles to see if there was a second opinion by someone else.

Curious, some of the other classmates moved to the pile of papers.

“Some of these are also old articles, like back when the app wasn’t even a thing here.” Myléne chimed in.

“One of the articles even has an author’s note on the bottom that says that this article holds inaccuracies that no longer apply.” Rose Quipped.

Chloé turned a fiery gaze at Sabrina.

“I told you to research thoroughly!”

“You told me to find anything that was written dismissing the app as fake. This was what I was able to find…”

Chloé grumbled.

“Whatever! I know that app is crap.”

Chloé stormed down to her desk and threw herself on her seat, only to hear a creaking noise and then fall with a painful slam to the floor. The loud noise blocking out the sound of the morning bell.

Chloé’s scream was loud enough to draw the attention of Miss Bustier who ran into the room.

“Is everyone alright? I heard a scream?” The young teacher clearly frantic with worry.

The class was silent as the teacher noticed Chloé on the floor clearly in pain from her bench seat that had fallen apart.

Lila was the first to speak up.

“Chloé’s seat fell apart.”

Lila dashed down to Chloé.

“Are you alright Chloé, that looked like it hurt.” Lila offered her hand to the fallen student.

Chloé took Lila’s hand up and grumbled as she covered her bruised tailbone.

“I want whoever made the seat fired and jailed!”

“It probably broke from the weight of your ego.” Juleka commented dryly.

Chloé turned to the long-haired teen with a grimace.

“I bet you did this you, emo freak!”

“Chloé! We do not insult our classmates.” Miss Bustier scolded. “I understand you are hurt from the fall, but it isn’t right to lash out at your classmates. Apologize to Juleka.”

Chloé moved turned away from the class with a huff.

“I am not saying anything until the jerk that destroyed my seat pays.”

Alya took notice that Lila was digging through the seat. What could she be…”

“Umm, I found something…” Lila’s words caught the classes attention.

Lila pulled out a hair tie that looked familiar.

“Isn’t that Marinette’s Hair tie?” Sabrina piped up.

‘That manipulative bitch! Lila did this!” Alya felt her thoughts scream at her.

“I knew that she was in on this! She made sure she wasn’t here to catch me off guard!”

“It could just be a coincidence.” Lila spoke out. “Marinette isn’t even here yet. It might have gotten lost under here by accident.”

Alya felt her mind screech, this wasn’t adding up, why would Lila bother with the hair tie? What was Lila planning?

Most of the class had gotten out of their seats to look to see the situation.

Max took a closer look at the collapsed seat.

“There are no breaks in the boards, and no screws or bolts to be found. I calculate a 98.7% chance that someone must have removed them from the chair. Someone did sabotage Chloé’s seat.”

The class gasped in surprise.

“I knew it! And I bet it was Marinette that did it!”

“Marinette would never do such a thing!” Alya jumped up. “I know my girl would not stoop to something like this, even if it is Chloé.”

“Perhaps we can check her locker. If there is nothing involving the seat we can clear her.”

“Wait! You can’t just invade Marinette’s privacy.”

Miss Bustier pondered for a moment.

“If we are going to search Marinette’s locker, she will need to be present. She should give her consent before we invade her space.”

“But if she is responsible she would obviously not want us to check!” Chloé shouted. “I will call my daddy and he will have the cops on the case!”

“T-That won’t be necessary!” Miss Bustier eased. She hated how much influence Chloé had thanks to her father’s position. She couldn’t just punish Chloé or simply tell her not to act out. Principal Damocles made sure to explain the delicate balance they had to maintain thanks to Chloé’s presence. She can’t teach her students if Chloé starts getting the police involved.

“I will discuss the concern with the Principal. I am sure he will make the right call and we will decide how to go about this. In the meantime, everyone please sit in your seats. Chloé, if you are still hurt, please have someone escort you to the nurse’s office.”

“I will not be leaving until I get whoever did this expelled.” Chloé hissed.

“In that case, sit in one of the open seats until we can get the seat fixed. Sabrina, you as well.”

The red head teacher made her way out of the classroom.

Chloé turned her attention to the class.

“Alright, I don’t care what Bustier says, Marinette clearly was responsible for destroying my chair and I want some justice!”

“Chloé, just because Marinette’s hair tie was under the desk doesn’t mean that she did it. Besides, when could she have done it?” Ivan pointed out.

“Well then who else could have done it?”

“To be fair, all of us pretty much hate your guts, it could be anyone.” Alix commented as she leaned back.

“So, you admit you did it!”

“I wish! But nah, this wasn’t my handy work. I would have signed it. Because that, would be art.”

The tomato haired artist chuckled at his friend’s comment. Alix gave him a quick fistbump.

Chloé growled.

“You have just as much of an idea who did this as we all do.” Myléne stated firmly.

“Sabrina!”

“Yes Chloé?”

“Who have I wronged in this classroom?”

“Um… everyone.”

“I meant recently.”

“Right… lets see…”

Sabrina went into her phone.

“You had that argument with Max about the app, insulted Myléne’s favorite charity and called the cause stupid, Told Rosé that the reason Prince Ali hasn’t written back to her in the last few weeks was because he was sick of her, told kim his swim cap makes him look like a bowling pin, mocked Nathanael and Alix’s art project collaboration, and… Oh! You also made fun of Marinette’s design sketches. I think that was it for last week. It was a light week.”

“So, there are the obvious suspects.” Chloé exclaimed with a smirk.

“Now if Marinette would get here we would have a perfect line up.”

Lila smirked at the little show, this was all going perfectly. Naturally Marinette would show up just as Miss Bustier got the principal involved. That would lead to the search of the designer’s locker, where Lila had expertly planted the screws and tools that she used to dismantle Chloé’s seat, along with items that she took from other lockers, including her own stuff to make sure Marinette got punished. Based on what she knew, that would be enough to get Marinette suspended, possibly expelled. Either one would work out wonderfully, and with that she could start destroying each person she cared about one by one.

“What about a line up?” a teen boy voice called out.

Chloé turned to see Adrien and Marinette entering the classroom.

The room was silent as the two teens walked in. The whole class watching the duo intently, as if seeing something quite shocking.

“Is something wrong?” Marinette inquired, looking around the room.

She noticed the dismantled bench seat.

“Chloé what happened to your seat?”

Chloé’s jaw opened as she approached.

“Forget the seat! What is this!” She gestured to the two with clear shock and disgust.

Adrien and Marinette look at the mayor’s daughter with confusion before looking at what she was gesturing to. The two realized they had been holding hands the entire time.

“Oh, I think we all know what it is.” Alya’s comment burst through the silence, a smug smile on her face.

“But it would be best to hear it from them.” Nino chimed in, assisting his girlfriend in the playful ribbing of their best friends.

Marinette and Adrien felt their faces turn red and they let go of the other’s hand.

“Well actually its uh, my hand was… I mean his hand was… I …” Marinette tried to get the words out but felt her mouth failing her.

Adrien put his hand on her shoulder.

“Is it wrong for a guy to hold hands with a girl he is dating?”

Marinette felt her heart in her ears as he said that.

Adrien then looks to Nino.

“It is right? Im still new to this and the shows I watched kind of made it a big deal so Im not sure.”  He whispers.

Nino nods.

Adrien looks back at Chloé now more assured.

“This is ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous!”

Chloé stomped away from the two, just unable to handle the truth.

The mayor’s daughter walked out the door complaining about how she was going to be sick at this.

The class quickly swarmed the around the new couple and Alya slipped back to allow the class to ask them questions. She would get the details later.

Lila felt herself seething despite the smile she had on her face. This was not how things were supposed to be going. Even with her plan, Marinette won’t be miserable.

“Not going in?” Alya asked,

“Huh? Oh, I am sure I can ask questions later. Everyone has been waiting on this longer then I have.” The brunette commented as she kept up her façade.

She would have a word with Gabriel about this… actually she might not have to. If her plan goes well, Gabriel would never let Adrien be with someone that could besmirch the Gabriel brand. If word got out that Adrien’s new girl was kicked out of school, the tabloids would rip the girl apart for her. That thought soothed her.

“Besides, we should be concerned about what happened with Chloé’s seat. Max did say it was sabotage. We should focus on getting to the bottom of that.”

Alya looked at the clock. She noticed with everything going on, it was well into first period.

“I think something more important will come up.”

Alya went back to her desk with a sly smile on her face.

Lila felt a chill go down her spine. What did she mean by that?

As if on cue, everyone noticed their phones going off.

The class stop asking the couple questions as they look at their phones, wondering what was with the sudden message

Lila quickly pulled out her phone. Her face went pale as she looked at the attachment titled.

‘The True face of Lila Rossi’

______________________________________________________________________

Mr. Damocles was staring at his computer with shock as Miss Bustier stood in the room.

“It’s unbelievable… the records that we were waiting on for Miss Rossi are all here.”  The principle spoke in bewilderment.

The young teacher watched as Mr.Damocles looked through each file.

“So many reprimands… dozens of student and teacher complaints…. False doctor’s notes…”

“This can’t be real, right? Lila has been a good student. Sure, she had a leave of absence but that was because she was abroad with her mother.”

“These documents are all legitimate. They are all from the previous school Miss Rossi attended, she had failed to notify us of any of the following when she was enrolled here! We could never have accepted a student with such a notorious record.” The principal sternly noted.

“Mr.Damocles please, it could be possible that Miss Rossi was scared about the whole situation. Perhaps this was her chance to start things right.”

“Caline, your kindness and compassion for your students is quite admirable, however, these records still show that there was a lot Miss Rossi has been hiding from us. I will be requesting that she and her mother have a discussion with me. After that, we will decide on whether she can stay Dupont.”

“But what about the issue with Chloé’s chair?”

“You mentioned that Chloé is not injured? Then it can wait until after we sort things out with Miss Rossi.”

“Understood.”

The young teacher left the office, she began to start questioning her actions as a teacher. Was Lila really a bad egg? Was she an awful teacher for not realizing that Lila had been lying to her? She stopped at the door to her classroom when she heard the sound of her students talking.

______________________________________________________________________________

Lila could feel everything falling apart around her as she watched her classmates look at their phones with interest.

She needed to find a way out of this. She needed to think of something fast.

“Lila, is this true?” Nathanael asked in surprise.

The rest of the class looking up from their phones, their expressions a mix of anger, hurt and shock. Marinette and Adrien seemed to be the only ones that seemed unsurprised by the message.

Lila racked her brain for several seconds, until the perfect lie crafted itself in her brain.

Lila fell to her knees and started to cry.

“I thought I was free of that cyber bully from my old school…” Her words hitting the right notes.

“Cyber bully?” Rose spoke up.

Lila knew she had landed one person that was willing to believe. And much like a composer, she crafted her symphony of deceit.

“Yes, you see. Back at my old school, there was this guy I was friends with. He was a smart guy with computers, almost as smart as Max.”

“Wait, if you were friends, why is he bullying you?” Kim inquired.

Most of the class was being pulled in by Lila’s thread.

“He had a huge crush on me, while I did think he was nice, I just couldn’t see him as anything more than a friend. I told him that after he confessed to me. After that however, things started to turn bad. It started out with some minor things, a couple of spam emails, a text with a pop up scare. I could tell he was hurt so I didn’t call him out on it, I was sure he would heal and things could go back to normal… but then he started getting worse.”

“He started hacking into my phone, sending out messages to my other friends, making it seem like I hated them.” Lila made her voice more frantic, as if living through a trauma.

She could tell the class that had been looking at the phones with rage were now back under her thumb, she had them.

“I lost all of my friends, no matter what I tried to say, they shut me off. That guy destroyed my friend group. I went up to him and demanded he come clean. He refused, laughing as he insulted me. He had decided he was going to ruin my life.”

Kim went to the teacher’s desk to get Lila the tissue box.

Lila looked up at the swimmer.

“Thank you.”

She took a tissue to dab her eyes.

“The jerk then hacked into the school’s records, changing my grades, my attendence, he even messed with my medical records at the school! It was hell!”

“Lila…” Myléne moved to her side.

“So, when my Mom got the job to work at the French embassy here, I was so excited. I could finally get away from that cruel monster’s clutches… but so much for that! Now you all hate me and think I am this awful person!” Lila cried into her arms.

“We don’t think that!”

“Of course, we wouldn’t believe that!”

Lila hid her sinister grin as she heard the comments of her classmates. She had easily pulled the wool over their eyes. Much like before she had escaped the jaws of defeat with her deception.

Until the sound of her voice was coming from another source.

Lila looked up and felt the world shake as the horror she assumed she avoided was being undone by what she had gone so far to get rid of. The recording.

“Of course, it was all lies. Knowing Spielberg? Being friends with a prince? All of those outlandish lies and yet everyone ate it up so easily. I don’t know whether it’s something in la seine but everyone here is super gullible. Everyone in that class is stupid enough to believe anything! I didn’t even try to come up with clever lies. Have none of them even heard of Google? I was able to have them eating out of the palm of my hand like the sheep they are. So when I say I could ruin your life Marinette, I can ruin your life without even lifting a finger.”

Alya paused the recording.

“That… that isn’t me! That was clearly an edited audio file!”

But at this point, everyone in the class had stopped buying into Lila’s words.

“There’s an additional 44 minutes on here that say otherwise.” Alya’s statement was like a dagger in the leg. “

The class backed away from Lila, their expressions were all the same now. They were not happy with her. They were hurt.

“Lila… how could you?” Rose spoke softly, as if holding back tears.

Juleka hugged her close.

“We gave you our friendship?”

“You threatened our friend!” Kim shouted angrily.

“We trusted you!”

“Did you even care about us?”

A sea of comments from each student that was hurt by the revelation started to fill the room.

Adrien and Marinette’s expressions read more as surprise than anything else. The two had no idea Lila would be exposed like this. The class was hurt by Lila’s actions, and now she was paying the price.

Marinette moved to where alya was.

“So, this was why you were so busy.”

“Yea, and I see I wasn’t the only one whose been busy.”

Marinette had a soft smile with her friend’s comment.

“You’re the best. You know that, right?”

“No, If I was I would’ve had your back sooner. I’m sorry it took so long to come around.”

“You are still the best.”

Alya hugged the designer.

“I’m serious, after this. I want details on you and Mr. Model.”

“Deal.”

Lila did her best to try and contest the comments, trying to find some way to dispute them, but her words were falling on deaf ears. She could tell that no matter what she said, no matter what she did, it was over. She had lost.

Lila turned her attention to Marinette, her eyes seeing red.

“You, this was all your doing!”

Adrien went in front of Marinette, as if to protect her in case Lila tries to attack her.

“No Lila, you did this to yourself.” The words coming from the blond were colder then ice.

“Adrien, you don’t seriously believe all this…”

“I tried to be your friend, we all did. But you lied to our faces, you hurt our friends, you threatened Marinette. Those are things I can’t forgive.”

Lila glared at Marinette.

“Are you going to hide behind him! Have you nothing to say!?”

Marinette expected to have a whole speech ready the moment the truth was revealed, but she never expected everything to fall into place like this. Marinette felt pity for the exposed liar.

She walked past Adrien and looked into Lila’s eyes.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t think the real you was good enough for us to get to  know.”

Lila acted as if she had been struck in the face. She lost the last of what remained of her tact. She was being pitied!

“You will pay for this! You don’t get to ruin my life without consequences!”

“Is it because you’re getting an akuma from your buddy, Hawkmoth?”

Everyone turned to the ladyblogger, who pointed to her phone.

“You might want to check the Ladyblog.”

Lila suddenly felt a pit of unfathomable despair hit her. What had that blogger done?

Lila forced herself to go to the ladyblog, and on the front page on the site.

Friend of Ladybug or Akuma Collaborator? The Truth on Lila Rossi

Right underneath was security footage of her grabbing an akuma for herself.

This was the absolute worst-case scenario.

Lila ran to the door. She needed to leave. She needed to escape. She needed some way to clean all of this up, but she was stopped. A clearly distraught teacher at the door. Tears rolling down her face and expression that no student has ever seen on the young teacher’s face. Sorrow.

“Lila, I need you to come to the Principal’s office.”

Everyone stood by and watched silently as Miss Bustier took the lying student away.

____________________________________________________________________

“Miss Bustier it isn’t what you think!”

The young teacher didn’t say a word as Lila tried to talk her way out. She was hurt by her students lies, the anguish she put her other students through, and never once looked into it. She felt like a failure of a teacher, she had defended her and this was what she came to find? It was unforgivable.”

She had brought the girl to Mr.Damocles’ office.

“Sit down Miss Rossi.” The owl-like man in the chair stated firmly.

Lila obeyed as Miss Bustier wiped her tears and looked at the Principal.

“Sir, I have some rather disturbing news I found out about Lila.”

“No need Caline. I had found the recording at the end of the documents.”

Lila couldn’t feel more mortified by this. This was some kind of twisted nightmare.

Lila of course wasn’t expecting the next person to walk through the door.

“Mamma?”

______________________________________________________________________________

A masked villain smiled as the window opened to let light into the empty room.

“This is it! This was the anguish I was waiting for! Lila Rossi, you will be my greatest akuma yet.”

He took a butterfly into his hand and turned into an akuma.

“Fly away my little akuma! And evilize her!”

The black buttefly left the lair and began to fly out and find the source of the negative energy.

“Mayura, it is your turn.”

The blue clad villainess step forward, plucking a feather from her fan and turning it a sinister blue.

She blows the feather away into the wind, following the butterfly.

“Fly away my beautiful amok, enhance and hone that despair into a mighty power.”

The two villains watch the sky light as they await to make contact.

“This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. This will be the end of Ladybug and Chat noir.”

Lila ran out of the school, it was bad enough that people found out the truth about her, But her momma?! She couldn’t watch her mother’s heart break as she learned the truth. She ran out of the office before they said anything to her.

‘I need to find a way out of this. Marinette and Alya ruined everything! Now I am the class outcast and what’s worse, my momma is going to find out everything! I need to stop this! I need to get everyone back under my control.

Lila made her way to an alley way and hid behind a dumpster. She wasn’t sure if she was being followed, but she could not risk it. Perhaps she could talk with Mr. Agreste, he could pull enough strings that could… no, he would likely dismiss her. Her usefulness was done. With everyone against her, there was no way she could do anything.

She sat and let her despair run over her. There was nothing she could do, she felt so powerless. Everything she had been building up to. Everything she had wanted was all in reach… and yet it was ripped away from her! She would do anything to have things back to how they were, back when she was in charge!

She heard something approaching. She looked up, clearly not ready to face her punishment. But what she didn’t expect to see was a butterfly coming her way.

The butterfly made its way to the silver charm bracelet on her wrist and a feather made its way into her earing. A butterfly outline appeared over her face.

“The despair of having everything you have built come crashing down.” A familiar deep voice spoke

“All of that effort dashed in one catastrophic moment.” A feminine voice continued the line, a new yet equally sinister tone.

“You were the queen of deception until they shattered your crown”

“The pain you have suffered by that horrible event.”

“What you wouldn’t give to fix everything and gain that power over others you once had.”

“Hawkmoth, so you show yourself. I was thinking you forgot all about me. And it seems you made a new friend.” Lila interrupted their eerie rhyme.

“Oh, as if I couldn’t forget about my most competent akuma.” Hawkmoth Praised.

“I am Mayura, partner of Hawkmoth, I have been watching you closely Miss Rossi.” Mayura introduced herself. “It appears you have yourself in a much more devastating predicament then before.”

“It’s all your akuma’s fault, it’s all Marinette’s fault… Its all of their faults!’

“It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. I am going to give you the power to get those classmates of yours back under your power, no, all of Paris under your control. You will topple Paris with an army of unquestionably loyal akuma.”

“And I will give you an ally that will obey any order from you without question.”

The Italian Exchange student loved the sound of that.

“Let me guess, all I need to do is to get Ladybug and Chat noir’s miraculous.”

“Good girl. Do we have a deal?”

“Crushing Ladybug will be therapeutic right about now. I’ll have that entire school under my foot, along with those miserable brats that ruined my life.”

“Very well! I grant you the power to reveal the akuma lying underneath each person with your masks! Show the world who you truly are, Masquerade.”

_____________________________________________________________________

(And that was Part 30! Thank you guys so much for reading up to this point. This was a long time coming. I hope it reached your expectations. Now remember to say what you think of the chapter, good, bad. I want to hear your thoughts. Is it worth seeing Part 31?

Now, I did mention that I will be announcing a new contest. Which After this reaches 1k notes I will be officially announcing.)

(If you want to support me directly, check out my ko-fi. Or if you want to support indirectly, take a look at the webcomic I am writing with @knightsweeties)

Special Honorary Tags: @martasaur @dootintootincowboy @inno-chan @tenten-hinamori @bevvydraws @worteltje7

#Soulmate survey #12k special #dun dun dun! #Lila karma #miraculous ladybug #ml #ml fanfic #miraculous fanficiton #OMG THIS TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE #OVER 9000 WORDS #soulmate searcher #lovesquare #adrinette #adrienette #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #lila rossi #lila x karma

[levis-hazelnut]

Summary: when you and your best friend, Hanji, were younger, you had made up stories about your dream guys - what they would look like and how you would meet. What happens when the one you had made up appears to be real?

Warning(s): I don’t think there are any in this chapter. But, please do tell me if there are any.

Taglist (closed!): @castellandiangelo @fandom-addict19​ @20coldhearts​

Status: completed!

part 4 > part 5 > part 6

series masterlist

It's been exactly five days since that time I yelled at Jean and Levi. What did I do during these days? Well, first of all, both males had sat down with me at lunch the next day, making Hanji, Connie, Sasha and Armin leave the table. Surprisingly, they apologised for things they weren't at fault for, so I shut them up, telling them they did nothing wrong. After that, they told me they won't stick their noses in my business and would let me tell them what was on my mind if I wanted to. We sorted everything out and ended up spending the rest of lunch being stupid, including Levi who tried covering up a couple of chuckles behind coughs. Since our table looked fun, those who left came back, along with Petra, Isabel and Farlan.

After uni ended that day, Jean and I stopped by at the cafe Eren worked at. I spoke to him about how I think he should forget about me because the relationship we had was in the past and he should move on. He did seem upset (obviously) but he understood what I was saying. Of course, however, he continued flirting with me. But that made sense since he can't just get over me like that and it's a habit of his to flirt with the first girl in sight. He claimed he was glad that I wasn't avoiding him or acting awkward around him. Soon, we parted ways and headed home. And the rest of the four days, I got over the fact that Petra and Levi were now in a relationship and I can't do anything about it. So, I was back to my usual, crazy, energetic and friendly self which Hanji, Eren, Jean and Levi were happy about. Though, one of those people had no way of showing me that (Levi). Now, it's Saturday (one week after the raven and strawberry-blonde went on their first date). Once again, me and Levi were sitting at the table with our laptops in front of us. Instead of hot drinks, we had iced drinks with all the windows open, seeing as how the weather was smouldering. This time I didn't have a gloomy expression, more like a smile which would often widen as Levi and I messed around. And there wasn't the depressing sound of Lo-Fi, we took turns in playing summery songs that only made our moods better. "Oi, stop singing. You sound like a cow and sheep fucking." I laughed and chucked a pen at him since it was the only projectile near me and he swiftly dodged it. Unfortunately, for the brunette with glasses, who happened to walk behind Levi at that moment, she got hit by the pen. I quickly apologised before locking eyes with Levi. "As if you sing any better," I retorted, about to take a bite of my sandwich, but it soon disappeared from my grip because of Hanji who took a bite before passing it back to me. "Hey, by the way, Erwin's coming over soon, but then we're going to go out," Hanji announced as she chewed on the food, causing both me and the raven to scrunch our noses up in disgust. "Wait. Erwin?" he repeated and shot me a questioning glance. "Yeah, our professor," I confirmed his vague query. "They're in a relationship." What the hell?" he murmured which I snorted at. "Anyway, that's fine." "You aren't going to be distracted?" "Uh, we're barely even concentrating because of the heat and this assignment isn't exactly fun," I said, standing up and stretching before taking Levi's glass and going into the kitchen to refill our glasses with mojito that I made. "You don't mind, right, Ackerman?" I questioned and placed the glass in front of him. "Yeah, whatever. It's not my apartment," he stated, looking down at his phone. I flicked his forehead, causing him to scowl once he glanced up at me. "What was that for, brat?" "I'd appreciate it if you give me your full attention when I'm talking to you," I smirked. "Sure, your majesty." He rolled his eyes but put his phone away, nevertheless. "What do you want?" "Nothing, really. Just wanted to make you look up." "To see your repulsive face? You're torturing me too much," he teased and I snorted before taking a sip of my drink. "Hm. You're really thirsty, aren't you?" If I hadn't swallowed the minty beverage a second before his remark, it would have spewed onto his face. My face grew red and I chucked a pencil at him. He dodged it once again as a smug smirk rested on his lips. "I hate you, you know," I muttered. I was so grateful that Hanji went back to her room because she would irritate the hell out of me about it, with Levi's presence here or not. "Yeah, right. Just as much as you hate that Eren kid?" "I have no romantic feelings for him. He's my best friend, other than Hanji, and he's a hell of a lot better at keeping me company than you." "Well, I obviously can't give you the attention he does since I'll be cheating." "Ugh, why did I even invite you?" "Because you don't hate me and I'm amazing at keeping you company." "Say whatever you want, Ackerman." "... Oi." "What?" "I'd appreciate it if you had your attention on me while I'm talking." "Yeah, give me one second," I told him as I continued typing away on my phone and I heard a sigh, which made me look up at him. "Is your pitiful ass upset because I'm not noticing you?" I mocked in an innocent voice. "Tch." He crossed his arms over his chest and faced away from me. "Why would I be upset, darlin'?" "Because you love me so much. And I'm your bestest friend in the whole, wide world." "You're such a child," he chuckled lightly. which made me smile. "Thank y--" I was cut off by the sound of the buzzer, so I stood up and approached the front door before getting pushed by Hanji who sprinted down the corridor to answer the door for her boyfriend. I clicked my tongue before going back to the table where Levi and I sat. "Someone's horny," I mumbled. "Hey, I'm not bothered to carry on with this. Let's just chill." "Sure. What do you want to do?" "I don't know. You should never ask me what I want; I'm the most indecisive person." "Fine. Seeing as how the weather is nice, let's go out somewhere." "Stop, stop!" a hushed voice giggled, catching mine and Levi's attention. "(Y/N) and Levi are here." I rolled my eyes and I could see that Levi was holding back a laugh. "Forget about them. So, where should we go?" I inquired, which Levi shrugged to before both of our heads turned towards two figures entering the room. "Hey, Erwin," I greeted with a smile. "Ah, hi, (Y/N). I didn't expect to see you here, Levi." "Likewise, Smith." The blonde male didn't regard the way in which Levi spoke and simply smiled at both of us. I'm going to be completely honest and say that Hanji is lucky to have a man like him. He's handsome, caring, polite and basically the embodiment of charming. And Hanji mentioned how great he is in bed. I never wished to know that, but whatever, it's Hanji so no one can stop her from saying her shit. Nevertheless, I love her. And I would never think about moving onto her boyfriend, well, it's not like I actually developed feelings for him. I kind of see him as an older brother or something of the sort. "Hey, Hanji, what's something fun to do outside today?" I questioned. "Um... Picnic in the park, go to the beach, cycle, visit a zoo--" "Okay, thanks," I cut her off before there would be too many decisions to choose from. "Why are you asking?" she asked before gasping in excitement. "Are you going on a date?!" "I don't see why you would be so surprised if I had a date, but no, I don't," I said, arching a single brow. "Me and Levi gave up on this shitty assignment, and since we shouldn't be inside when it's so sunny outside, we decided to do something," I told her before realising that the work we were doing was for the professor standing beside her. "I mean, we've finished it and we deserve a reward for doing so well," I joked and the male with cerulean eyes chuckled softly. "I appreciate your choice of words for describing the task I gave you. I'll be sure to remember that when I grade it," he teased, with an undertone of warning. "You know, you're the best professor in our uni." He shook his head and smiled. "Go out. I don't want to ruin your fun because of 'this shitty assignment'." "Haha, you know I was only joking about that. Anyway, let's go, Mr Moody," I said and got up from my seat, stretching. "You're going to out in your pyjamas?" "Oh, right. Wait here, I'm going to quickly change." "Okay." I rushed into my bedroom and sifted through my clothes, finding a white, lace singlet, along with baby blue, jean shorts. I slipped both pieces of clothing on before styling my hair into a half-up, half-down ponytail and put on sunglasses to rest on my head for now. I grabbed whatever I needed and stuffed it into a small bag, hooking it onto my shoulder before leaving my room. Hanji and Erwin were on the sofa as I spotted Levi leaning against the table, we previously sat at, with his backpack slung over his shoulder. I gestured for him to come and he came to my side as we both waved at the couple before proceeding to leave. We both slipped on our shoes and left, taking the stairs to go down. As soon as I opened the main door of the building, the heat slapped us and the sun blazed in our faces so I positioned my sunglasses to protect me from the light that threatened to blind me. "So where are we going?" the male beside me asked. "Pick from the things Hanji suggested. Maybe not a picnic since we didn't prepare any food for that unless you want to be lazy and just buy things. Also, not the beach because it'll take a while to get there and then there'll be no point since we'll only be there for a short while." "So picnic, cycling, and the zoo?" he listed and I nodded as he thought about it. "... Picnic in the park - let's be lazy and buy things." "Okay. Shall we head to the shops first?" "Yeah." ~/~ The grass tickled my bare skin as I laid on my back, with my eyes closed, one leg was arched as the other was stretched across the ground. My head leaned on one of my arms as my other arm rested over my stomach. Music rang in my ears, which I softly hummed to, from Levi's phone that rested in between us. Said male laid on his side, propped up by one of his elbows. He had his head in his palm and held a book in his other hand. Before we were relaxing like this, we had eaten the snacks and food we bought, though, some remained since we may have gotten too much stuff. Then, we decided to take over the playground, and apparently, we seemed to have intimidated some kids. Pfft, they're such scaredy cats. Why couldn't an eighteen (me) and nineteen-year-old (Levi since he's a few months older than me *eye roll*) mess around as well? Once we laughed at the children's faces, we came back to this spot and decided to just relax. Barely any words were spoken. A sigh left my lips when I felt my phone vibrate in the back pocket of my shorts. I fished it out before bringing it to my ear. "Hello?" "Hey, (Y/N)!" "Hi, Petra," I smiled and rolled over, onto my stomach. "What's up?" "I was wondering if Levi is still with you." "Yeah. We're in the park. Is something wrong?" "No, no. I was just trying to call Levi, but he wasn't answering his phone." "Oh, here you can talk to him.” "Thank you," she said before I passed my phone to Levi, so he could talk to Petra. He put his book down before taking my phone. I took his book and read the blurb before turning to the first page, trying not to listen in into their conversation. I'd say I've improved - there's barely any jealousy in me (okay, maybe a little), I don't turn bitchy when I see them two, and I don't have to fake smile anymore. The tone in which he spoke in was hardly any different to how he talks to anyone else, but I could hear a hint of something gentle. A soft smile touched my lips when I listened to his voice (not his words, mind you) and I wished I could listen to it on repeat. It was his usual nonchalant voice, mixed with a soft timbre, which was a sign he cared about Petra. He spoke in a hushed tone that almost sounded like a purr. I wasn't even concentrating on the book in front of me anymore. I kept on reading the same sentence over and over but I still wasn't able to understand the printed words since I was stuck in a daze because of Levi's voice. "What are you smiling about?" "Your voice is nice," I blurted out without thinking what I was saying. Once I realised what I said, my eyes slightly widened as I averted them from the book to him to see he was smirking. "I mean--" "Whatever, you weirdo," he cut me off, the smirk still present. He gave my phone back and stole the book from my hands and flipped the pages over until he reached the one he stopped on before his phone call. "And what are you smirking about?" "It's amusing to see you get nervous," he replied with a shrug, his eyes absorbing the information on the page. With a roll of my eyes, I returned to my original position but rested my head on Levi's lap this time since he was sitting with his legs outstretched. He flicked my forehead, which I ignored, as I took my phone in my hands when I got a few messages from Eren after taking a sip of the iced tea I bought. 'Hey (Y/N)' 'I got off work early today' 'Wanna go out somewhere since the sun's out?' I wasn't bothered to type so I decided to call him. He picked up after about five seconds and spoke a small 'hello'. "Hi, Eren." "Hey." "Basically, the thing is... I'm in the park with Levi right now." "Oh." "But," I began before glancing up at the raven whose eyes were still on the book. "Hey, Ackerman?" "What?" "Would you mind if Eren came?" "He's your boyfriend, do whatever." I rolled my eyes. "Sorry about that. But, you could come and join us, or we can go out somewhere later?" "I don't mind. What did Levi say?" "He doesn't care. We aren't really doing anything, though." "What park are you at?" "The one near my apartment." "... Do you mind if I come since I'm around there?" "Of course, I don't, you doofus. And, we can still do something later." "Okay. I'll be there in a few minutes. See you later, angel." "Bye, love," I went along with the joke. "And you say he isn't your boyfriend," Levi muttered. "He isn't. I already told you we're just stupid kind of friends that act like a couple by calling each other names. Don't think anything more of it." "Well, why are you so defensive? Also, you've never mentioned that you have an interest in someone." Yeah, well, that's because the person I have interest in is you and you're taken, I thought. "Just because I haven't mentioned it, doesn't mean I don't." "Well, do share, darlin'." "I thought you weren't going to get involved in my business." "But you don't seem upset about it." "Look, you asshole, I have no obligation to tell you, so--" "Hi," a voice cut me off and I flitted my eyes over to the figure that was protecting me from the sun. "Eren!" I beamed and tugged on his wrist which caused him to fall. I hugged him as he struggled to get off of me. "Where are you going? I haven't seen you for the entire week." "I'm probably crushing you right now. Let go of me, (Y/N)." "Hmph. Fine." I released him from my grip and he rolled off of me, sitting up next to me as I still laid on my back. "This is a park, you two might want to keep it PG," the male that I rested my head on commented. "Shut up and read your book." I scowled at him before facing Eren. "There are snacks and drinks, help yourself." "Okay, thanks," he grinned and laid down next to me, resting his head on Levi's leg as well. "Oi, I'm not a fucking pillow." "You are now," I told him bluntly. "So, how was work?" "It was all right. Horseface came in and decided to annoy me. However, he did look kind of upset about something. When I asked him what's up, he just scoffed and told me that it's none of my business. Typical of him, but I think if you ask him, he'll tell you." "I'll ask him later. Right now, I just want to relax without having to deal with anything," I sighed and turned to look at the sky. Eren glanced at Levi to see that he was still engrossed in whatever book he was reading and he slightly nudged me. I gave him a questioning glance and he motioned for me to come closer, so I did. "What's wrong?" I questioned the teal-eyed male. "How come you aren't depressed anymore?" "I got myself together. I realised there's no point in getting upset over something I can't change and just pushed everything to the back of my mind. Are you proud of me for doing that?" I asked like a little child, wanting praise. "Yeah," he smiled, tousling my hair. I shifted my head to rest on Eren's shoulder and closed my eyes, breathing in his entrancing scent and feeling content next to him. "Ackerman?" "Hm?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah, why?" "You're unusually quiet." "Maybe because I'm reading. Are you okay? You're being unusually kind." "Excuse me? I'm always nice." "As if," he scoffed. If my eyes were open, I would have rolled them. "If you're so nice, why don't you have a boyfriend?" "Seriously? You're still asking about that?" I didn't even bother to look at him since I was comfortable with my position. "Forget about it. Forget I said anything about liking someone since I have no intention in telling you, or anyone, right now." "... Is it Eren?" "No," I huffed. No matter how much Eren and I acted like a couple, we would never develop feelings for each other. I always have and always will see him as a brother, but not one that annoys the hell out of me. The one that cares for me and gets angry if someone would hurt me. The love we feel for each other is not romantic. ~/~ "Ah, it feels so nice to have a shower after sweating all day," I sighed in delight and plopped down onto the sofa in between Eren and Levi, who were talking about something before they both fell silent. I only cocked an eyebrow but didn't say anything, brushing it off. "Eren?" "Sure," he already replied without hearing my request. I grinned and passed him my hairbrush as he proceeded to brush my hair when I slightly turned my back towards him, now facing Levi who had his gaze on the floor. "Do you two want something to eat? We haven't had dinner and it's already nine o'clock," I suggested. "Yeah. But, do you have things to cook?" Eren pointed out. "Yep. What do you guys want?" I asked them, and Levi only shrugged, leaning back against the sofa. "What do you have?" "I'm not sure. I'll have to check, but I know we have ingredients to make a simple meal." "I kind of just feel like pasta," Eren spoke. "But like really saucy and cheesy." "What, like me?" I chuckled at my own stupid joke and I could imagine he rolled his eyes. I witnessed Levi's lips curl upwards slightly as he shook his head at my stupidity. "Anyway, I'm sure we've got pasta, and stuff to make the sauce, and cheese. Thanks, by the way," I smiled at Eren when he passed me back the hairbrush. I got up and quickly placed it back in my room before going back to the living room. "Both of you can have a shower while I cook something if you want," I told them as Eren nodded, leaving the room. "Darlin', there's one bathroom, so you better not be suggesting anything." I rolled my eyes. "There's actually two. Hanji has an ensuite and she won't mind if you use it. I'm sure you don't want to sit around after sweating, especially with you being a clean-freak, so go ahead. You can borrow Eren's clothes since I'm pretty sure he's left some here." "And you still claim you aren't in a relationship with the boy?" "Yes. Also, if we were dating, why would we hide it? And don't you think that I would've just given up and told you by now?" "Maybe you hide it because you're ashamed of something. And you're a stubborn brat, I doubt you would break." "Just shut up and go have a shower," I snapped with a playful tone, showing him I wasn't actually annoyed. "I'll get you some clothes and leave them on Hanji's bed; there should already be a towel in there." "Okay, thanks." I went to look for some of Eren's clothes. After a bit of hunting, I found a t-shirt and joggers, neatly folded, and I left it on Hanji's bed. When I went to the kitchen, I noticed Eren already fishing through the cupboards and had previously already found the pasta. "Hey," I spoke, catching his attention. He turned around and gave me a grin before looking for ingredients again. "You can sit down, I don't need help." "Are you sure your clumsy ass doesn't need help? I do remember when you nearly sliced your finger off like an idiot. And when you tripped over your own feet and dropped a plate. And--" "Okay, okay. Fine, you can help," I pouted. "I'm not that clumsy, though," I muttered to which Eren only chuckled softly. "Whatever you say, princess. Boil water in this pot," he told me and I nodded, doing as he said. I then helped him look for everything else as we set everything out on the counters and began preparing our dinner. It was silent until the teenage male spoke up. "... (Y/N)?" "Hm?" "What are you going to do about Levi and Petra?" he asked quietly, causing me to look up at him as he came by my side. "I don't know... There isn't anything I can do. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. I mean, me and Hanji did say that there would be so many girls chasing after him, yet he still chooses me," I described another detail in the stupid story thing we created. "Hey, don't look so down. It's been five months, not a few years, so you still have time to see what the future holds," Eren grinned, noticing the gloomy expression that cast over my visage. I gave him a small smile and looped my arms around him, feeling him embrace me tighter as my cheek pressed against his chest. I wish I could live in Eren's hug, there's nothing I love more than his hugs since he always comforts me and cares for me, and he smells so damn good, especially after coming out of the shower. "Oi, lovebirds." I huffed inaudibly before parting from the hug. "... What?" I spat, not meaning for it to sound so harsh, as I turned around to look at the raven. "Hm, so you are dating?" he smirked and went to sit down at the dining table, crossing his leg over the other. "What do you mean?" I inquired, folding my arms over my chest as Eren continued cooking. "If you weren't dating, you would have responded to 'lovebirds' or at least retorted with something. However, you didn't." "Or maybe I just got tired of correcting you." I arched an eyebrow, approaching him to flick his forehead. But, he grabbed my wrist, preventing me from doing that. I wiggled out of his grip and just frowned at him. "What will it take to prove that we aren't in a relationship?" "I just want to point something else out: Eren doesn't deny it whenever I say you two are dating." "Because he thinks you're an idiot. Now, tell me what it'll take." "Not a legitimate answer, but whatever. Anyway, you know I'm just messing with you when I say all this. I know you two aren't boyfriend and girlfriend." "Tch. Why do you have to be so annoying?" I muttered, plopping down in a chair next to him and he ruffled my hair. "I only annoy you, darlin'. You should be happy that you're special." "Whatever. I'm going to go help Eren with dinner." "Do you need help?" "Two people are enough. Thank you, though." "You just want to be alone with your boyfriend, don't you?" Levi stated when I turned my back to him, but he never knew I was holding a knife in my hands. So, to let him know, I faced him. "You better shut your mouth before this accidentally pierces you, Ackerman," I growled and he only laughed under his breath. God, what being on Earth is able to make that sound? Why is he so gorgeous in so many ways? Why can he make me feel like this, yet, I have no effect on him? Why can't I just jump onto him, and hug him, and kiss him, and love him, and marry him?

#levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #aot #aot fanfiction #aot imagines #snk #snk fanfiction #snk imagines #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #reader insert #x reader #anime #dream guy #series #modern au #this part was kinda boring #queue ⏰

[lassieposting]

💘💘💘💘 + ghasdug

send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

where they first met and how

So Skug says they stowed away on the same ship, but this is...not exactly true.

He stowed away on that ship, because he was running away from home and he was a snobby little lordling who'd never had to fend for himself a day in his life, so the furthest ahead he'd actually thought to plan was "they won't want to turn around and drop me off once they're underway".

Ghastly was not stowed away at any point during that trip. Ghastly was signed on for the journey as a deckhand, because Ghastly's mother told him he needed to, and it had to be that particular ship. Ghastly gets seasick, and did not want to go to sea in the slightest. But Ghastly's mother has visions and so Ghastly does as he is told. Apparently there was something important waiting for him on that ship.

Anyway Skug pops out once he thinks they're far enough away from shore that they'll leave him be rather than take him back to port, and he is incredibly mistaken. The captain is in favour of turning him around right there and then, because he's clearly some rich lord's brat, and whoever his father is will probably pay handsomely for his safe return. Ghastly manages to talk the ship's crew into letting him stay on, provided he pulls his weight like the rest of them.

Needless to say, even before they're attacked by pirates, that voyage is a rude awakening for poor Skug, and good lord does Ghastly hear all about it. He has blisters. His feet hurt. This shirt was expensive and now it's all sweaty. His hair is in his eyes all the time. He's tired. The guy in the next bunk snores. Some of these people look like they have lice. He didn't realise he'd be doing manual labour, this is servant stuff, how dare they.

Ghastly does. Not realise at that point what he has let himself in for.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

Poor Ghastly gets to pine for years. Baby Skug isn't a great boyfriend. He's less invested - he loves Ghastly, but they have two totally different outlooks.

Ghastly is ugly. He's always been ugly. He's got a face he believes only his mother could love. He's never believed he'd find someone who saw past that or loved him regardless. So as soon as he gets Skug into bed, he's over the moon and ready to commit. He's like 17, and would absolutely settle down there and then given half a chance.

Skug, on the other hand, was a weird-looking child who only recently grew into an attractive adolescent and he is loving it. For the first time in his life, girls are noticing him. He doesn't want to settle down, he wants to play the field and sow some wild oats and have fun. So there are periods of exclusivity with Ghastly, interspersed with periods where Skug basically drops him to chase after the latest pretty bit of skirt.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Ghastly's smitten by the time they make it back to Ireland - Skug is a bit soft and allergic to hard work and a pain in the arse, but he's flashy and charismatic and funny and pays attention to him without gawking at his face (past the initial "good god, what happened to you?") - but Skug is well and truly settled into living with Ghastly's family by the time he actually gives Ghas the come-on.

where their first date was and what it was like

They went to the local tavern and got drunk, and then rode home in the pouring rain once it kicked them out at closing time.

When they got home, Ghastly's parents had long since gone to bed, but that wasn't necessarily unusual - once Skug, who has a considerable allowance, is old enough to start drinking, Saoirse institutes a rule that if they're not home by the time she and her husband turn in for the night, she'll leave blankets in the barn and they can sleep there instead. She's not having them barging in, wasted, at all hours of the day and night, waking her up after a hard day's work.

So they put the horses away and give them a quick rub down, and Ghastly is trying to look anywhere but Skug because Skug's shirt has gone kind of see-through and poor Ghastly is an awkward, horny teenage boy, but he keeps shooting him these furtive glances over the horse's back and Skug notices because Skug notices everything and lowkey teases him about it. "Want me to sit for a portrait? It'll last longer," sort of teasing, and Ghastly tries to laugh along but he's also vibrant red because he's been caught staring, so obviously Skug realises something's up

And he's precisely as tactful about it as he ever is about anything, and jokes, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you wanted me," and Ghastly's ears burn and he doesn't deny it quick enough and now Skug's eyebrows are inching towards his hairline and Ghastly panics because like, he's ugly, Skug is going to be disgusted or laugh at him and he can't cope with either, so he just? Freezes?

But like. Skug was a weird-looking, unfortunate child who very recently grew into an attractive adolescent, so he fucking thrives on attention. So his response to this awkward not-quite-a-confession is actually a moment of silence while he mulls this new information over (this feels like an eternity to poor Ghastly) followed by an early attempt at using The Hot Voice and, "If you want me, have me."

So, they end up having sex in the hayloft on the blankets Ghastly's mom left out for them. Ghastly has never even been kissed and doesn't admit that he has no idea what he's doing until he realises Skug is expecting him to take the lead. He also blurts that he loves Skug when he nuts, so like. It's your typical painfully embarrassing virginity loss.

It can't be all bad though, because Skug's up for doing it again.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

So in my endgame-ghasdug AU, they get back together post-TDOTL. Ghastly survives being stabbed, but the blade nicked his spinal cord, so he's in a wheelchair for quite a while, and then has to do A Lot of physical therapy to relearn how to walk. Skug shows up at the hospital/facility where he's recovering every day unless there's an emergency, because Ghastly is very depressed and struggling with survivor's guilt over Anton and doesn't see the point in doing his physio because it hurts and he's exhausted and he shouldn't be alive anyway. And Skug annoys him into doing it, mostly by heckling him from the other side of the room, because he's not great at the whole emotional support thing. Ghastly will mutter, "Christ, I want to hit you," and Skug will tell him, "Well, if you come over here to do it I won't even duck." And if Ghastly gets his ass up and uses the walking frame support thing to cross the room, well, then Skug will take a punch like a man and be happy about it because Ghastly walked.

They also talk a lot during this period. Ghastly feels like shit, and he reminisces a lot about the good old days and how he never saw Ravel's betrayal coming and memories he has of Anton, and sometimes that veers into memories they share from when they were young men. And Skug, at this point, is old enough and has been through enough to admit that he wasn't great to Ghastly when they were boys. He was flighty and selfish and high-maintenance, and he would've hated to be treated the way he treated Ghastly. And he tells him that, at one point - that he's sorry, and if he could go back and do it differently, he would, assuming Ghastly was daft enough to be willing to put up with him a second time.

And Ghastly laughs and tells him, "I'd still have you now, you stupid bastard."

who proposes first

Ghastly. They're 19/20. Skug thinks he's joking.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

Neither - they don't announce it, but it's not exactly a secret either. Ghastly's parents notice pretty much straight away, but other than a few parental pointers on what is and isn't appropriate, it's not really a topic of conversation.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

Skug's sister Confelicity accepts the first proposal she gets at the age of 16, because she's desperate to get out of their parents' house and away from their toxic relationship and controlling behaviour. Their father disapproves and refuses to attend the wedding (and, of course, their mother is not allowed her own opinion), and Carver is out of the country, so Skug stands in to a) pay and b) give away the bride. He takes Ghastly for moral support, because he doesn't like most of his relatives and also doesn't like the groom (Thurid Guild - their relationship doesn't improve when Confelicity divorces him a few years later to marry a baronet). While they're watching the couple say their vows, Ghastly murmurs, "We should get married."

Skug is right in the middle of his hoe phase and does not realise Ghastly's serious.

who’s more dominant

Generally, Skug. He is one hell of a force of personality and Ghastly does get steamrollered quite a bit, although he does eventually learn how to say no. Skug always gets things his way, always does whatever he likes and be damned to the consequences, and Ghastly is always there with a handful of the back of his shirt, pulling his ass out of whatever fire he started.

In bed, though, it's Ghastly.

how into pda they are

As teenagers, Ghastly's mother has to reprimand them occasionally for being too all over each other, but teenagers be rabidly horny. As grown men, they're just sort of casually affectionate. Comfortable with each other. When they're relaxing in camp after a day of travelling, Skug will lean against Ghastly to read a book or put his head on Ghastly's leg while they chat. They can have a silent conversation just by reading each other's faces. They'll nudge each other when something reminds them of an in-joke. They have that easy intimacy that comes with having known each other forever.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

As boys, Ghastly has a particular flowery meadow he likes to take Skug to for picnics, because he's a romantic. Skug at that age is considerably less so, and more interested in whether they can screw there without getting caught.

In the modern day, they go to see old movies. Ghastly was very into the early films of the late 1910s and the 1920s, after the war finished. He associates them with a time where he finally got to just set up his shop and live the life he always wanted to live. Skug hasn't seen most of Ghastly's favourites, because he spent that period of history fighting the truce and then spiralling into a black hole of trauma and misery, but he got very into the noir detective era to the point that he's still clinging to the aesthetic like 80 years later, so they'll alternate who picks the movies and catch each other up on their favourites.

who’s more protective

They've both spent their fair share of time fretting in the chair beside a hospital bed. After Ravel's betrayal, though, it's Skug. Ghastly retires as soon as he's considered fit to make the decision, and decides he wants to go back to Dublin to reopen his shop and just sort of try and forget Roarhaven exists. And Skug is absolutely adamant that he gets to do it. There's a lot of interest in Ghastly for a while - groundbreaking healing magic was used to fix what should've been a permanent injury, people want to know if he suspected Ravel, they want his advice on how to rebuild after Devastation Day. He's more approachable than China, and a lot more popular. But he can't cope with it all, and anyone who tries to hassle him in Dublin will have Skug to deal with.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

The first night Skug stays at Ghastly's family home. Ghastly is an only child, and his family isn't wealthy - their house doesn't have a guest room. It's sleep with Ghastly or sleep on the floor, and Little Lord Priss isn't going to be sleeping on the floor.

Honestly, he's relieved there isn't a spare room for him. He's never really slept alone before. Like most children of very wealthy families back then, he grew up in a nursery with his four oldest brothers and sisters, and when he was too old to live with The Children, he shared a room, first with Carver and then with Francis. The thought of being on his own in a strange house is pretty intimidating.

He moves to his own bed as soon as they get him one, but he stays in Ghastly's room, and he's perfectly happy with that.

(Ghastly is less happy. He's very much crushing on Skug and he's terrified he'll say something incriminating in his sleep.)

who steals whose clothes and how often

Skug gets to steal Ghastly's clothes for a year or two after he moves in with Ghastly's family. After that, they're built too differently. Ghastly is built like a brick shithouse of muscle. Skug is lean and toned and tall. When they're younger, he can more or less wear Ghastly's clothes as a nightshirt, but after Skug's final growth spurt, Ghastly's clothes don't sit right on him at all, and he's gotten too vain and fashion-conscious by that point to just wear them anyway.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

Ghastly is fussy about his tea. Plenty of milk, two and a half sugars, leave the teabag in.

Skug just inhales it black, which Ghastly thinks is an abomination.

if they ever have any children together

Ghastly thanks his lucky stars every day that they have a 0% chance of accidentally spawning a skuglet. One of him is plenty.

He's very involved with Skugbab when he comes along, though. He's godfather and a very present uncle.

if they have any special pet names for each other

Skug doesn't do nicknames, and would rather not be given them, either. Ghastly gets away with "Skul", primarily because he's the only one who's known Skug since he was all of 16, but also because "Skulduggery" is a mouthful when all your blood is rushing to your downstairs brain and it's his own damn fault that he didn't think of that before he picked it.

if they ever split up and / or get back together

So many times. They're on and off again more frequently than Saracen's clothes. Every time Skug spots someone new, he ends it with Ghastly to pursue them, and then comes back when he loses interest or it doesn't work out.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Ghastly's family home is an old farmhouse on the outskirts of Dublin. It's simple, but cosy, and Ghastly's dad is incredibly houseproud, so it's very well-looked-after. Skug prefers it by miles to his own palacial, but cold and unwelcoming, family home, and he tries to replicate the vibe later on with Wifey. It's pretty small compared to what he's used to, so it sort of feels like they're all living on top of each other, and he has to get used to not having any servants and drawing his own water to heat his own bath etc, but he's loved there, and that makes all the difference.

what their names are in each other’s phones

They're both old-ass men about some things, and this is one of them. So no emojis or anything - they're "Ghastly Bespoke" and "Skul". How romantic.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

Ghastly wakes up first: he's used to rising early to get started on his chores. Skug is absolutely not a morning person at this point in his life and Ghastly frequently has to turf his ass out of bed by pulling his quilt off/dumping water on him/yelling in his ear.

Reversed with modern day ghasdug: Ghastly still wakes at a sensible time, but damn it he left the army a century ago and now he likes a lie in. Skug never really stopped being a soldier and still has most of his military habits, so he's up with the sun.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

Ghastly is the big spoon. Skug likes to be Held.

who hogs the bathroom

Skug. The boy is vain as all fuck. There is a grand total of one cloudy looking-glass in Ghastly's family's home and Skug spends a good chunk of the morning hogging it to fuss with his hair and peacock at his reflection. Ghastly is under strict orders Never to mention this to Fletcher.

#skulduggery pleasant #ghasdug #sp headcanons #long post

[megastarstriker]

✰𝙃𝙄𝘿𝙀 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔✰

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{ℕ𝕀𝕂𝕂𝕀 𝕊𝕀𝕏𝕏 x ℝ𝔼𝔸𝔻𝔼ℝ}

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𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜: Cussing and Drugs

Contains: FLUFF AND ANGST

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Nikki Sixx x Female Reader

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩:

𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙: by @metalheartofgold {Hey sweetie, I was so happy when I saw your request were open because I love your writing so much 🥺 So I wanted to request a Nikki Sixx one shot (Mötley Crüe) where he is protective off reader during a party in the Motley house. He knows reader's body has negative reactions to drugs, due to a condition reader had since she was a child, so when someone tried to force reader to take drugs, Nikki stood up for reader. (reader is his gf). Can you make it fluff and angsty? Please don't rush yourself,take your time and publish it whenever you want. I know us writers still have a life outside writing.thank you so much 🖤}

𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩: @metalheartofgold, @ginny-rose-sixx, @xxqueencolourxx​, @littlemisscare-all​,

💕 LOVE YOU GUYS AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANNA GET TAGGED  💕

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★ ──⭒─⭑─⭒── ★ ──⭒─⭑─⭒── ★ ──⭒─⭑─⭒──  ★

MÖTLEY HOUSE , 1981

“Wow.....” 

I whispered lowly as I looked at the whole crazy and wild chaos that was going on around me. 

Sitting in the sofa I couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable and out of place as I watched everyone having fun, as I held a drink of whiskey in my hand that was not entirely full as I wasn’t planning to get wasted unlike the others who were at the moment shitfaced from the booze they had. People from one side drinking or entering the apartment by the shattered window next to the door  that gave anyone entrance to join the party inside and that was still left unfixed from prior incidents and on the other there was people making out or sniffing drugs that were neatly formed into lines with a straw or just doing a bountiful amount of outrageous and animalistic things altogether in a crowd. 

I slumped even deeper into the sofa as I saw someone puke right near me on the floor causing me to cringe a bit in disgust and worrying concern for the person that did. Scooting away I held the drink that had a bit tighter, obviously uneasy about what could go wrong right about now. Don’t get me wrong I was used to this kind of thing mainly because my boyfriend was the one that held these types of parties along with his bandmates, Vince and Tommy. For Mick though not so much as he was no were to be seen along with the other two who were  both probably doing there ‘normal crazy stuff’ as usual....

There was a bunch of girls who were doing drugs along with some guy that was currently staring at me, obviously interested in me. I simply of course shrugged it off and decided to pay attention to something else. I then saw my boyfriend, in the middle of the room, Jet black dyed hair, gorgeous green hues, a perfect yet devilish and sexy smile that adorned his handsome features that any woman or groupie would fall for, a well defined and muscular body that accompanied with his various sexy looking tattoos, that man was Nikki...

‘Nikki and I have been dating for quite awhile, after his previous bands that went to waste.  He has also dated a few other girls before me and when we were still just friends. It surprised me how we were even a couple to begin with, even more when he asked me out. 

We had things in common, like our love for rock’ n’ roll and other likes and dislikes as well, but different in our own ways. I was there to support him in every way I could of course when he told me about wanting to become a rock star... 

 I knew Nikki was into drugs and was overall a wild rock star when it came to the parties and such, but he could also be his loving self when we were both alone and told me everything because he trusted me and loved me in his own way when he tried his hardest to show it.......

But I on the other hand couldn’t because of my condition I had since at a very young age....

 On our first date, I had let him known about my condition and the fact I couldn’t take drugs, which took me awhile to even talk about as I felt very insecure if he would actually judge and leave me because of my negative reactions to them if I took any drugs that weren’t good for me (those reactions could result dangerous for my body system and mind if I did happen to have them) considering many of my previous ex’s did when I brought it up to them, causing them to abandon me without any remorse for it....

He shockingly of course didn’t and respected me when I told him about it, quietly listening to me. But even now as he kept telling me that it didn’t matter if I had a condition or not that he still loved me, I couldn’t help but feel doubt and insecure about myself...and what he said to me....really didn’t help with the anxiety I had as negative thoughts started to flood my mind leaving me a bit depressed...even hating myself for the way I turned out to be.....as I watched him.’

Nikki was currently drinking a bottle of whiskey while also checking in on me every once in a while to see how I was doing, I never understood why he would considering I new how to take care of myself against anyone that tried to harm me or offer me drugs, but he was damn well stubborn and protective off me enough to not take my answer and leave, but he also respected my space and that I really appreciated from him. 

He gave me a warm smile as his gorgeous green eyes met mine, I smiled in return to let him know I was fine, as he kept talking to the guy in front of him. Smiling and feeling a warm feeling in my chest as I did, I felt the weight of the sofa shift as someone sat right next to me and damn right- It was the guy who was doing drugs from earlier, currently eyeing me up and down, holding a small tray of drugs with two straws. 

“Hey there babes wanna do a bump with me?”, He flirted as he held the small tray towards me. “Um, No thanks. I’m good.”, I said as I hesitated the offer ,my smile turning smaller each second I would stare at this guy next to me, but kept myself firm and cautious of the situation. 

“C’mon, hun. Don’t be such a party shitter come have a little taste of this.”, The man said obviously very insistent as much as I declined.  I d-don’t want any can you please stop bothering!”, I confidently said as I put up a brave front telling the guy to go fuck off, but then I was interrupted as he gripped at my hand tightly catching me by surprise and wince in pain at the tight hold he had on it.  “Let me go you asshole!”, I said as I stepped on his feet with force only for him to slap me across the face, my cheek burning red and stinging from the impact it gave me.

“ You bitch, if you’re not gonna take any of this. Then why even bother be here. You’re just another goddamn lame ass whor-”, He said as he spat those words at me like dripping venom, I couldn’t help but cry my cheeks staining as my mascara also mixed with the salty tears that flew and traveled down my chin and unto the dirty stained floor on the ground. 

‘What if he is right?’ If I’m just another fling to Nikki. Another one-night stand that luckily got to be with him longer than the other chicks he had banged. ‘What if he is just using me? And he actually thinks I’m a useless, miserable, pathetic girl.’ I thought with a heartbreak as I sobbed silently the tears and sadness increasing more with each thought, as I choked on my cries. ‘No I can’t think like that. I know Nikki. He is an asshole but he wouldn’t hurt me like that or in any way. Right?’

I then saw Nikki walk towards us both as he punched the guy square in the jaw ,at the same time he said those hurtful words, with full force as his face was contorted in rage and anger,” Hey! Get your hands off my girl, Asshole. If she said she doesn’t want any then get your ass up and leave.”

The guy of course wasn’t a coward but stupid enough to pick a fight with someone like Nikki,” What did you say to me, jackass-” The guy then got pushed onto the wall.

“Listen to me, dickhead. You either leave her the fuck alone and show some respect or get the fuck out.”, He said as he looked at him dead in the eye his green eyes cutting through his entire soul, as he gripped his shirt like claws prying at his neck with a dead glare. “Fuck you guys! I’m out of your lame ass game-”, He yelled at him pushing Nikki off of him, as he stumbled his way out of the scene, everyone around us was quiet, either whispering stuff, or looking at us in shock at what just happened right in front of them. ”That’s it.” Nikki then shove him away forcefully as he kneed him on his groin causing him to crouch in pain, only for then to grip him by the shoulders and push him towards the door and outside of the house, causing him to fall.” And I better not see your ass here ever again, motherfucker!”, He then closed the broken door as he said that not caring at all whether it fell apart or not.

I, of course propped myself up from the floor still crying from earlier, as Nikki looked at me his eyes turning soft with concern as he heavily breathed. Not wanting to say anything and feeling humiliated, embarrassed, even ashamed I quickly got up and left the living room, wanting to be alone and away from everyone’s judgmental view. I then went into mine and Nikki’s shared bedroom, seeing that it was unoccupied and that the bathrooms were being used at the moment for private reasons. I then made sure to close it as I sunk to the bed crying as I let every teardrop out of my eyes that I have been holding in for so long. ‘Why?’ I thought as I broke into sobs gripping at the bed with anger ‘Why me?’ ‘Why did Nikki pick me?’. 

As these thoughts flooded into my I couldn’t help but look down at myself for being this way, for letting my sad emotions get the better of me and not fighting them off. For not being strong, but weak. 

All I wanted to do was just curl in a ball, and hide away from everyone....

From the band.... 

Vince, Tommy, Mick...

From the world....

And From Nikki....

I then heard a strong knock at the door only for then to hear a voice,” (Y/N) its me, open the door.”, Nikki said as he knocked his voice reaching my ears. “Go away, I wanna be alone.”, I said in between breaths as I cried. “I’m not leaving you, Damnit!”, He responded only for him to re-correct his speech knowing it wasn’t going to help if he acted that way as he muttered a little ‘shit’ at his choice of words before talking again this time in a much softer tone as he leaned against the door,” Please....just let me in.”

It took me a few moments before I could muster the courage to open the door, as I opened it I saw Nikki standing at the doorway only for him to wrap  his two strong arms around me, in a strong and comforting embrace. Startled, I then relaxed as it was only Nikki and not the asshole from earlier. I then cried into his chest letting every tear fall. 

“Shit...I’m sorry, babe.” Nikki muttered into my hair softly as he rubbed soft circles around my back, trying to ease my breathing,” Don’t worry that crazy fucker isn’t coming back any time soon and I’ll sure as hell make sure of it.” Hearing this from him made me relax a bit but not entirely as I still had that thought in my mind. 

“Nikki...”, I whispered quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

“Yes, baby?”, He responded as he gave me his full attention and held me and separated me away from his chest but close enough so that he could still have me in his arms. 

“Why me?”, I asked him sniffing a bit at my stuffed nose that was red and a bit stuffy at the moment from all of the crying I did. 

“Hmm?”, He asked obviously confused as to what I meant by that.

“Why did you pick me?”, I said again in frustration as tears flooded into my eyes yet  again, “You could’ve picked any other girl to love or use and leave me behind. You didn’t have to deal with a girl like me. You could’ve dated someone who was good enough to have the same life as you do. So why-”

I then was cut off as Nikki’s soft and rose colored lips met and connected with  mine softly in a passionate kiss, not filled with lust but with love. I closed my eyes as I tasted the Whiskey on his lips  A few seconds, later he let his lips disconnect from mine gently, as he then looked  at me right in the eyes. 

“Because I fucking care... about you, I don’t give a damn or a single fuck about what people think or say about you, me, or us. If any asshole has a problem with that they can either suck someone’s dick and kiss my ass for all I care. I know I’m not one to say corny and lovey-dovey shit like this, but...If you really wanna know why you instead of some other groupie or whore then.. fine.”

“You are ....someone important to me, and I ....don’t care whether you can do drugs and bumps or not. No person in this ...entire world can compare to you. Because you are someone that actually cared for me and for once has supported me when no asshole could for all my fucking life. Whatever that guy said to you was complete bullshit. You aren’t some one time thing for me and you will never be....”

 He said as he gripped my face softly as he let his forehead gently touch mine as his eyes gazed lovingly in mine, letting out a few curses every one in awhile when he tried to tell me what he truly felt about me, knowing it was pretty difficult and torturing at him to even say as he broke his hard walls and cold front. This was the real Nikki.....

the man behind the stage.... the guy without the harsh exterior.... This was him....

My Nikki....

I smiled at him as my tears turn to happy ones, knowing what he said was truly genuine. I was shocked the first time he showed me his true soft and loving side, but seeing it now it didn’t really faze, rather make me want to love him more and further. 

I pulled his face down for another kiss, his warm and tender lips meeting mine as we both lingered in the moment. We then let our lips depart as he hugged me tighter. He then pulled me to the bed, taking of his shirt to reveal and expose his muscular and toned, body along with his attractive tattoos that grazed and covered his skin and body. His long and strong arms pulled me to his chest as he peppered my forehead with small yet feathery kisses. Sniffing, I felt a warm feeling in my chest as I looked up at Nikki smiling a bit and having a funny idea a bit as the silence in the spacious room started to grow....

“Hey Nik.?”, 

“Yeah?”, He asked softly as he propped his arm to rest and lean his head next to mine and face me as I saw his bright hues met mine, despite the darkness in the room and his messed up, soft and poofy crazed hair that was sprawled around a bit at his eyes, covering them slightly. 

Laying down still looking at the ceiling in deep thought I felt a smile creep as I decided to tease him and whether or not he would get pissed off for it...

“Can you say that whole thing one more time for me?”, I asked him as I looked at him trying to hide the smirk in my face.

“Don’t fucking push it.”, He muttered with a bored tone his expression changing from serious to happy as he gazed at me, laughing....

“Sorry....”, I said as I scooted closer to him on the bed my laughs calming down as I reached for his warmth letting my arms fall on his warm chest and skin,” I appreciate what my nice and handsome boyfriend had to say.” 

“Whatever..”, He answered simply with a sarcastic laugh only turning into a real one with a big smile on his face as he rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair kissing me in the forehead tenderly as he did. 

Still smiling, I couldn’t help but say the loving words to him as I melted into his arms....

“I love you.”

 I said in a hushed whisper but loud enough for him to hear as I cuddled with him, feeling each other’s warmth as we basked in the silence surrounding us in the room away from the loud and ruckus outside of it. 

Relaxing into his embrace and feeling very comfortable in it I couldn’t help but feel sleepy as all my energy was left and drained out of me.

 Whether it was the whiskey, his calming scent, or him right next to me, I hadn’t had a clue nor time to figure out as I dozed of into my slumber. 

I then felt a tingle next in my ear as I swore I could’ve heard this last part as he softly breathed it into my ear in a whispering voice as he noticed me sleeping. With a small smile, he said...

 as his rosy and slightly chapped lips parted and forming those words he never thought he’d said to anyone or to himself before nor he ever believed to ever hear them coming from himself or anyone... almost feeling like an illusion if he did say it.. almost like he wasn’t the one speaking it....as he said those ‘three damn forbidden words’ as he would like to call them, next to my soft ear in a hushed tone......

“I love you, too”

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{AUTHOR’S NOTE}: This was one of the requests I got from @metalheartofgold​ which was such an honor to write and receive from. Absolutely loved the idea and able to write it down here for you, sweets. I hope you enjoyed it, and that it was to your satisfaction, really. Love you💕

🖤I HOPE ANYONE THAT’S READING LIKED IT AS WEll AND LOVE YOU.🖤

IF ANY ONE WANTS TO ASK ME FOR SOMETHING TO WRITE WITH THE MEMBERS OF  MOTLEY CRUE OR THE DIRT VERSION OF IT.  HERE’S THE LIST FOR ANYONE THAT WANTS TO REQUEST SOMETHING FROM ME. 

REQUEST LIST

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#nikki sixx x reader #nikki #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x reader oneshot #motley crue #motley crue x reader #motley crue fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader fanfiction #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx fanfic #tommy lee #vince neil #mick mars

[eyeofthedrgn]

A Heavy Battle Symphony Chapter 8

Catch up here >> AHBS Masterlist

TW: language, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, violence, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self harm, self-esteem issues, sexual abuse (only alluded to briefly in future chapters), drinking (comes up late in the story) just a lot of trauma, angst, smut - lots of lovely gay smut

Word count: 1739

Notes: This chapter is slightly graphic on the physical abuse. It's only like two lines, but I wanted to make it known.

Chapter 8 - Sorry for Now

After a while you may forget

But just in case the memories cross your mind

You couldn't know this when I left

Under the fire of your angry eyes

I never wanted to say goodbye

Four months, thirteen days, and ten hours, not that he was counting, since he left. Since the dark haired boy had walked away, leaving Rowan standing on the sidewalk. Since his mind spiraled out of control, and it felt like part of him died.

Rowan had been seeing a therapist for the last three months. It had helped, somewhat. At least he could function as a relatively normal human being again, when he was around people anyway. Most of the time. He almost didn't graduate. Thankfully, his mom, his friend group, and his therapist had helped him get through it.

But all in all, Rowan felt empty. Somehow his heart was broken. He hadn't realized someone could get so attached to someone so fast even though they never really talked or hung out. Maybe it was because they shared such vulnerabilities with each other that day in the park or there really was such a thing as a soulmate and his just left him. Either way, he was broken inside. Yet, he still went to parties with his friends, hung out, but he wasn't always present. Everyone noticed the vacant stares, but they usually left it alone. They all knew the general gist of what happened that day, but they could never understand the emotional gravity well that that day had caused. No one knew that Rowan had fallen for the other boy.

Except the ever observant Elide. She noticed everything. The way Rowan spoke about Lorcan, the way his eyes lit up when he saw the other boy walking down the hall, and the small looks they both shared on cast signing day.

But nobody had seen Lorcan after he had walked away. He never came back to school. No one knew what to think. Most assumed they moved again and they left it at that. Rowan assumed the worst after seeing Lorcan's bruises and him basically saying this was a usual occurrence.

Rowan was brought back to the present when a beach ball hit him in the head. He was sitting on the edge of Aelin's pool, sulking, feet dangling in the water. Aelin was throwing one of her parties, it was nearly the end of summer and soon most of them would head off to college. The noises from his friends finally filtering back into his head, it was suddenly too loud, too bright, and too hot. He ran a hand down his face.

Fenrys had been the beach ball throwing culprit, Rowan just glared at him.

"Come on, Ro. Try and have some fun?" Fen had swam over to Rowan and crossed his arms over the edge of the pool. The roguish blond just wanted him to be happy.

“I’m sorry.” He said that a lot now. Fenrys just raised an eyebrow at the boy… man.

He was eighteen now and he wasn't that scrawny, nerdy looking boy anymore. Rowan supposed that was one good thing that came out of Lorcan leaving, he got addicted to working out. There was a punching bag set up in the garage with some weights. He was fit now, muscles defined, but not bulky.

Elide walked up and mussed up his hair. "Come help me get some drinks." She didn't leave any room for argument.

In the kitchen, Elide just leaned forward on the island and looked at Rowan.

"I thought we were getting drinks."

"Yeah, we will. But-"

"But what?" He really didn't mean to say that with such an attitude, but he was hot and emotionally exhausted. Honestly, he just wanted to go home.

Elide was on her phone, waiting for him to chill. Taking a deep breath he said, "I'm sorry. What did you want to talk about?" Rowan was trying, he really was. She just slid her phone over the counter towards him. He furrowed his brows as he looked at the article on the screen.

Consultants for Erawan Enterprises arrested on counts of fraud, child abuse, human trafficking, and other illicit activities

"What's this?" He had no idea what this was about. Why would he care about Erawan Enterprises?

He picked up the phone and kept reading since Elide clearly wasn’t going to answer. It was short and there was a photo of a devastatingly beautiful woman with dark as night hair, that reminded him of Lorcan, and alabaster skin in handcuffs being pushed into a cop car and a very angry man shoved against the hood of the same car.

Maeve Valgerian and James Perrington were arrested Wednesday night. After some anonymous tips to the Morath Police.

"Who are these people?" Rowan didn't understand.

"Pretty sure she's Lorcan's aunt."

Oh.

Rowan had searched for Lorcan online after he disappeared, but there was literally nothing. Absolutely zero results. It was like he was a ghost.

They were consultants for Erawan Enterprises and moved all over the world for the very powerful man. Erawan Enterprises is under investigation for fraud, money laundering, and human trafficking.

After Valgerian and Perrington were arrested, MPD searched their residence and found incriminating evidence against them.

There was also a teenager held captive in the basement. They were taken to the nearest hospital with severely critical injuries. The name and gender of this individual will not be released for their safety.

The article was published nearly two months ago.

Human trafficking…

Held captive...

Severely critical injuries...

"Please, don't break my phone." He was squeezing the device and didn't realize it. Quickly handing it back to her, his hand went straight to his hair.

“Are you sure this is his aunt?”

“Well, not 100%, but they have physical similarities and their hair…” she trailed off. “And Lorcan had mentioned his aunt’s boyfriend living with them one day in class.”

"Fuck!" He felt like he wanted to rip his hair out.

"Ro." Elide's voice was quiet.

"FUCK!"

After a couple deep breaths, he ran his hands down his face, and then turned to face his friend. "Is he dead?" His voice cracked.

"I don't know. All of the other articles I could find are just about them and Erawan Enterprises. No mentions of Lorcan. Anywhere. It's like he doesn't exist."

Elide pulled him into a hug and he broke.

---

Lorcan had been through shit show after shit show since he left the Whitethorn house. As soon as he returned to the apartment, it was packed up into a moving van and they were gone.

They were in Fenharrow for a couple months. Maeve didn't enroll him in school. He was locked in the basement of the small house they rented, it felt like he had gone crazy. He hadn't seen the sun until they moved again. His skin turned a sickly gray. By the time they moved again, he could feel every one of his ribs, and his hips stuck out, his fingers overlapping when wrapped around his wrist.

Next move was to Morath. Lorcan didn't know if he would survive. He didn’t have a good feeling about this place. The basement became his home yet again. It was filthy. There were thick iron hooks in opposite walls and chains hanging from them. This was where he was going to die. He closed his eyes as Perrington latched the shackles around his wrists.

---

One day, Lorcan heard sirens intermittently. He kept passing out. He wasn't even sure he was hearing sirens or if it was just a ringing in his ears. They were always ringing nowadays. A punch to his face made his vision flicker. Blood and saliva leaked from his mouth as his head rolled down to his chest.

The ringing in his ears got louder. There definitely weren't sirens. No one was going to save him. He was going to die here. He knew it. It was what he deserved. The bastard born half-breed that no one cared about, left to die in his own filth in a disgusting basement. The world slowly faded to black.

---

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

He was in Hel. He had to be.

Beep.

The incessant beeping was there to drive him insane. And the smell of bleach was there to make him sick.

Beep.

---

Lorcan startled awake. How could he be awake? He was supposed to be dead. Right?

The nightmare he was having felt so real. Probably because he had lived it before. He assumed that was just what Hel was supposed to be, reliving the worst parts of your life.

But instead, he was in a bed, a hospital bed. Why did they save him? Lorcan wasn't worth saving. Yet, here he was covered in wires, tubes, a needle stuck in his hand, a device on his finger. It was dark outside and the lights were dim in the room.

Deciding he wasn’t actually dead, he took stock of his body, he was certain he had some broken ribs, but nothing else seemed to be broken which was surprising. He was definitely sore and stiff. And exhausted. So exhausted.

---

After… Lorcan didn't know how long he was discharged. He had put on some weight, though not a lot. The staff made sure he ate. They were all nice and cared for him. But now, he stood outside the main entrance of the hospital in some scrubs they gave him. Now, he had nothing. Nobody. He may as well have been lost at sea.

Why had they saved him? He still couldn’t figure that out.

Somehow, he managed to find the small house that he had been stuck in for who knows how long. There was police tape over the door. The door was open.

He pushed through the tape. The house was a mess. It seemed the cops had ransacked the place. But he finally found his things, they were strewn about the floor. Thank Hellas, his journal was still there. After changing, he packed up his books and journal, some clothes, and a few other other necessities.

He needed money or something he could sell. Maeve's jewelry would help. He could pawn it.

Lorcan asked the pawnshop owner for directions to the bus station, and then he set out to see if there was still one person who cared about him. Hopefully this wasn’t a bad idea.

____

Thanks for reading. Things will get better, I promise! Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

Edit- oops! I forgot to actually put in tags... My bad. Sorry!

@thenerdandfandoms @starlightorstarfire

#rowcan #rowan x lorcan #rowan whitethorn #rowcan fanfic #lorcan salvaterre #linkin park #heavy battle symphony #crackship #throne of glass

[librapjmx]

suddenly, it was love

summary: the saying that love is an unexpected visitor was right. you never intentioned of falling in love with the best friend of your boyfriend 

members: namjoon x reader | yoongi x reader

You hated yourself. To the point that you wanted to end it all and it's just because of your stupid feelings towards someone. In any case, it wouldn't be a problem to have feelings towards someone but if that certain person is the band member of your boyfriend then you had reason enough to argue with yourself.

You were sitting on your couch, slowly, sobbing into your arms. Knees pulled at your body as you shifted softly due to the tears.

„No, it's just a stupid crush" you mumbled, and to be honest this could be possible, and having a crush on someone is okay, that doesn't mean to drop the love of your life. You tried everything to forget these terrible feelings towards him.

Not in any way would you want to be a cause of a close friendship to shatter.

It happened a couple of months ago and since then you were feeling like the most disgusting and disturbing human on earth. Even dreaming or thinking about it is a sin for you and you couldn't bear to stare into the pure eyes of the ones who love you deeply.

Namjoon and you argued often. It's okay to have arguments within a relationship, but the important key is to learn from mistakes, and accept the flaws of their partner or even to help them to improve. But this time it was a lot more different since it was a big fight from which both of you struggled to recover. You were afraid of your relationship shattering and him breaking up with you. But in no way would he leave you since he was deadly in love with you.

Your relationship with your family wasn't the best and after your beloved one passed away, you felt like the loneliest person on earth. Each day was becoming more stressful and depressing for you. In that time the support and love of Namjoon were lacking, and you were hoping for Namjoon to hold you whenever you feel down but it was nothing like that. Namjoon was stuck in his own world, his career, his music, and most importantly his wellbeing. He knew about your family situations and what happened. Of course, he tried everything to be next to you whenever he could plan you within his schedule, but you didn't consider his career this time. It was always like that.

You've done plenty of things for him but when it came to you, his schedule was full or he simply was too tired ‚to deal with you'. You accepted it and were tolerant multiple times but this one has come too far, and you were simply angry at him.

Your phase of depression and sorrow was already hard to deal with and you decided to lock up into your apartment and deal with it on your own, just the way you did when Namjoon turned his back at you. Min Yoongi was one of his band members who was the closest to you. You two never shared a conversation before Namjoon introduced you to him as his girlfriend. His soft smile was stuck in your head and the way his eyes lit up when he saw you. Namjoon was happy that you and Yoongi would get along pretty well. Of course, the other members were just as nice as Yoongi to you, but you happened to share similar life situations with him. When you went to see Namjoon, you made sure to give his studio a visit as well and you found yourself not wanting to leave his side. The conversations, the soft chuckles, how he gently treated you, and the way he listened to you. You felt at home.

It wasn't like he took advantage of you or anything, but he knew about your fight with Namjoon. Indeed, he scolded his band member for being so intolerant and a jerk for letting you all alone in your worst moments. Once he heard that you were left home alone, he had an idea that you, as the stubborn person you were, would lock yourself up. First, he tried to drag Namjoon to your apartment, forcing him to leave his studio and comfort his beloved one. But Namjoon simply didn't care enough since the argument grew on him and he didn't want to be the person to apologize first. Yoongi couldn't understand the ignorant behavior of his mate but decided to go and see you. It was late at night but the image of you crying in your room all alone wasn't leaving his mind.

„Go away!" you shouted through the door, thinking that the person who was ringing the bell was Namjoon. „It's me" the deep voice sent a shiver down your spine and you were hesitant of opening the door. After all, you felt your heart break since you were hoping for that person behind the door being Namjoon. Even in that awful state, he let you down... again.

„I'm okay, go away" even though you knew that the person behind the door was Yoongi, you wanted to be left alone.

„Fine! I will stay here until you open the door and even if that means waiting for days" your heart made a small jump at his words. Not even in your dreams spoke anyone caring words like that.

Your hand surrounded the cold metal of the doorknob and you pushed down, opening the door fully. Yoongi's expressions dropped as a frown was plastered on his face. He wasn't looking into the joyful eyes which he admired so much, but into red and puffy eyes that didn't stop dropping tears. It was clear that you hadn't got any sleep due to your eye bags. Your lips were plump and dry, and he figured that you haven't eaten anything properly. Without hesitation, his hands reached out for you and pulled you into his arms. At first, you were startled but once his warm arms surrounded your body and embraced you tightly, you let go of your thoughts. That's what you've longed for since your sorrow started. You just started sobbing, your hands right next to your hips, afraid of moving them and hugging him back. Your forehead was lying on the crock of his neck as he caressed your hair gently, letting you cry out your sorrow. Comfort was what you needed the whole time, caring and ... love.

He didn't say anything, and you forgot how time flew. You couldn't even tell how long you were staying in that position of him giving you his warmth while embracing you.

„I'm sorry" you muttered as you pulled away from him, rubbing your hand at the wet spot on his shoulder „Your shoulder is wet now" he let out a soft chuckle at your statement as he grabbed your hand to pull it down.

„Let me cook you something, alright" he started and shut the door, before turning to you and smiling as if nothing happened.

He knew that you weren't a person who talks about their feelings openly and he knew that in that state all you needed was comfort. Indeed, you were going to pour your heart out once you were ready to open up but now he made sure to not pressure and force you, but care for you the time being.

„Yoongi" he stopped in his tracks and stared at you, confusion written all over his face.

„Thank you so much" you whispered and he simply nodded, giving you a comforting smile before he went into the kitchen.

From that day on he never left your side. He was always by your side even though you knew how busy he was. Eventually, you opened up to him and you found yourself feeling better each day. Even though he was a lot in his studio he made sure to text you and call you. It was just that he cared so much, he never had the idea of stealing the girl of Namjoon, his friend. He was just there for her and over time he got used to her. Hearing her voice every day, asking her how she's been and if she needs anything.

You shared mutual feelings with him and you found yourself getting more comfortable around him. He was outstandingly generous and thoughtful towards you. It has always been a saying that the foundation of a relationship is love but if the foundation becomes shaky, a relationship can shatter. But if there is something that comes unexpectedly then this is always love and death. Nobody can control them, and nobody can fight against them. It was awful that you even forgot about your actual boyfriend. The arguments and how much his words affected you disappeared in a matter of time and you wondered if your feelings towards him were real. You found yourself experiencing feelings that you've never felt next to Namjoon.

You didn't cheat on him, nor did Yoongi and you hadn't a relationship behind his back. You just knew about your crazy moods next to him and you had no idea of him having mutual feelings towards you. These feelings were there and visible, but you were ashamed of yourself for expressing them. Not only Namjoon but also Yoongi would stare at you in disgust, you thought that's why you kept quiet and just enjoyed the moments with him. You were crazy, you changed, your feet were completely lifted from the earth. No one experienced what Yoongi and you experienced. As imperfect each one of you was alone as complete both of you were together. Your feet no longer touched the ground. You floated in other spheres, you flew over the clouds, nothing on earth touched you two. You lived in your own world. Your world. The world of Yoongi and Y/N. A heavenly world. A dream world.

But what happens to dreams? When you wake up they fall through and shatter.

It was the moment when your doorbell rang in the middle of the night and you expected it to be Yoongi who left his studio a couple of minutes ago, but it wasn't him.

Namjoon bit his lip as he noticed your facial expressions falling. His hand touched the back of his neck as he struggled to look up into your eyes.

"I guess you weren't expecting me..." your heart broke into pieces as you came to the realization that he was right.

"Can I come in?" he asked, stuttering half of his words. You didn't say anything, you simply were confused and irritated that you couldn't move an inch. He sighed deeply and at that moment his hands grabbed your shoulder to pull you tighter and when you were close enough he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly. Your eyes widened at his action, your hands were stuck between your bodies as you rested them without any movement on his chest. He pulled tighter and buried his head in the crook of your neck as he smelled the scent which he missed two weeks. These two weeks were pure torture for him. He realized his mistake fast, but he was too afraid of coming back to you since he didn't think about you forgiving his apology but then the days turned into weeks and he was afraid of your relationship breaking apart.

"I'm so sorry Y/N! I've been a jerk to you and you don't deserve to be treated like that-" he mumbled into your hair as he caressed your back, his hands firmly around you. Just as you wanted to open your mouth, you stared straight into two pairs of hurt eyes. Yoongi who was standing on the other side of the road and who probably was making his way to your house stared at you in awe and the way your boyfriend hugged you. A painful smile was making its way up to his lips and he stepped back, realizing his own mistake. The mistake of falling for the girlfriend of his best friend. The moment he saw you two, he noticed that he must've been an awful human being for even thinking about her in a romantic way. The two weeks went by fast and he forgot that you belonged to someone else. That only one person could embrace you the way Namjoon did. That person was no other than Namjoon himself. You belonged into his arms and in his touch, you will stay. He bit his lip and turned around, promising himself to never think about such feelings again. He had to forget you, he couldn't risk his friendship and Namjoon's relationship to shatter.

Promising himself to never come and see you again, he walked away from his dreamland to find reality again. You wanted to pull away from Namjoon and run up to Yoongi, tell him about your feelings towards him. Hug him, to feel his touch again, be covered and save in his arms but you couldn't. What if he doesn't share mutual feelings towards you and above all you were in the arms of the person whom you said 'I love you' to. Namjoon was your boyfriend.

He pulled away and leaned his forehead against yours. "Y/N, I am so sorry! Believe me, I'm an asshole for letting you down and being a careless wreck but I can't live without you Y/N. Please forgive me." His brittle voice was making you feel guilty for the thoughts you had a couple of seconds ago. How you wouldn't hesitate to let go of his hands. It was driving you insane that you weren't as happy to see him just the way he was happy. Your eyes were darted on the spot where Yoongi stood a couple of seconds ago.

"I hurt you so much, I know an apology isn't enough-" and then he started rambling. Well, for him it was opening his heart but as much as you wanted to focus on his words, you couldn't help but think about Yoongi, and then you felt ridiculous for your silly feelings.

"Namjoon..." you mumbled, leaning back as he eyed you confused, "Please give me time" and he accepted.

You wanted to be alone for the time being, sort your feelings out and then decide on what to do. For Namjoon it was hard to give in, but he didn't want to pressure you if you were turning back to him. After that day you had no calls from Yoongi and you found yourself grabbing your phone multiple times to text him, but you were afraid of him not answering so you decided to let it slide. Maybe these feelings towards him weren't even real or near to realistic and with that, you tried to think about these feelings as a crush. It's not bad to have a crush on someone it's just normal. It was probably a deep crush in which you didn't consider your surroundings. The thought of him by your side was incredibly great. He was taking care of you while you were disordered and uncertain. He definitely had no bad intentions and just wanted to comfort you or else he wouldn't stop contacting you after the day he saw you with Namjoon. Maybe that was what he aimed for. Perhaps he wanted his best friend and girlfriend to forgive each other and be happy again. How absurd it was to think to have romantic affection towards the best friend of your boyfriend.

It was just a phase you thought as you made your way to the entertainment building of your boyfriend. You tortured him another week and now, you decided to go back to him. Forgive him and apologize for having disturbing thoughts such as you and Yoongi. He probably was rehearsing or practicing for their next comeback. His studio was right next to Yoongi's and you pecked into the glass of the door of Yoongi's studio, your heart jumping from its place as you saw his small hands typing on the keyboard of his computers.

"Y/N?" you heard the familiar voice of your boyfriend calling out for you. His voice was stern and loud enough for the boy in the studio to hear. His heart started beating at the sound of your voice calling out for your boyfriend Namjoon.

Once your eyes met the ones of Namjoon, you felt guilt spreading your body, tears forming in your eyes because of your disloyalty towards him. Your feet were running on their own towards him and you wrapped your hands around his neck as you quietly sobbed while tiptoeing to pull tighter. He didn't hesitate as he wrapped his arms around your waist to hug you firmly.

"Y/N, don't cry... I-" he chuckled, "I knew that you would return to me. I knew that your love towards me is just as strong as mine towards you." He leaned back and wiped away your tears.

"I'm so sorry Namjoon! I'm an awful human being" you cried, apologizing for your unfaithful thoughts. He kissed your cheek gently, wiping away the left tears. Obviously, he was unaware of your current disordered emotions.

"I missed you so much Y/N, you have no idea!" At that moment he leaned in, his lips touching yours. Your eyes widened, and you hesitated at first but of course, for the sake of your relationship you had to tug to him even tighter. Slowly, you shut your eyes and kissed back, hoping to feel the affection and love you've felt for him again.

You couldn't help but feel someone watching you, but you brushed these thoughts away. Indeed, someone watched you painfully through the glass of his doors. Jealousy surrounding his atmosphere but what was the jealousy for? After all, you didn't belong to him. He watched you kissing your boyfriend and chuckled at his absurd feelings towards you. Turning away he put the earphones around his head, shutting down and turning away from reality as he clicked on the button, loud beats were filling his ears and he closed his eyes and sat down on his chair, leaning back and trying to forget your smiles and chuckles.

For Namjoon the kiss was all he needed these weeks but for you, it was just a plain kiss. You weren't feeling flustered or as if you were lifted from the ground, the way you did before.

This will settle as well, you thought as he leaned back and grabbed your hand.

"I still have to finish something up, but it won't take long. When I'm back, I will take you out, so wait for me-" he kissed your forehead and turned around, "you can wait in my studio if you want to" he added and soon he was invisible, gone from your sight.  You walked up to the door of his studio, your hands surrounding his doorknob, but you didn't go in. Instead, you tried to fight the urge to turn around and walk into his studio.

"Y/N? I haven't seen you in a while" you winced as the familiar voice brought you back to reality. Turning around you were greeted by a cheerful Jimin who was smiling widely at you. "How have you been?" he asked, and you put on a smile.

"I'm good" you didn't mean for it to come out monotonous, but you weren't really 'good' and you were a bad liar when it came to telling one how you feel. He brushed it off.

"I see you're here for Namjoon" he cheekily chuckled, "That guy was missing you a lot. I'm happy that both of you were able to settle things." You nodded in agreement. An awkward tension was surrounding you.

"Where are you heading?" you asked, trying to sound as normal as you could.

"To Yoongs, you want to come with me?" He asked, knowing that he meant to be kind but you simply shook your head. You couldn't look into his eyes. After all these feelings and thoughts about him, you felt exposed even though neither one of you did anything bad. He shrugged it off and turned to the door of his studio. As he opened the door you pecked into the room. The busy boy turned around at the sound of the door opening but he only saw you as Jimin entered. Your eyes locking together, and you had the urge to talk to him and hear his voice, but you were afraid that your crush on him would turn into something deeper and meaningful. The door closing broke your stare apart and you turned around and walked into the studio of Namjoon, your heart feeling completely delusional and wrecked as you sat down on the chair, waiting for your boyfriend to return.

You and Namjoon spent more time together than usual because he insisted on giving you so much love and attention as he could. No matter how you tried to focus on him and his words, your mind drifted off to someone else. In no way did you get bored of Namjoon, in fact, you enjoyed being around him, but you couldn't look at him with those loving eyes anymore. It happens that love turns into friendship and if that's the case then it's not possible for any romantic feelings to appear. You've concluded that you simply fell out of love with him.

He sipped on his coffee as he watched you lovingly, his hand reaching out for yours. You didn't know how he was still sticking up to you even though you were giving him cold signals. All you did was smiling falsely at him.

Your hands intertwined he walked you home in the evening. Even though you two spent so much time together, you happened to grow more apart which wasn't understandable. No matter how much he held you, how much he kissed or caressed you, no matter how deeply he stared into your eyes, you couldn't help but feel nothing more than friendship to him. You just wondered how you could be able to let go of him. Not because of Yoongi but because of your emotions which happened to vanish and in no way was that his fault. No matter how you tried to start telling him, you couldn't bear to look into his broken eyes and you made the biggest mistake in your life, you waited and led him on with your fake love.

"Do you want to come to the studio tomorrow? We will be practicing our dance and I'll need you as my motivation to not give up. After that we can hang out together in our dorms" he said, sounding as calm as possible. You just nodded as you pressed the passcode of your small house. You turned around to Namjoon smiling softly as he leaned in. Your eyes widened, and you didn't know why but, at that moment, you leaned in fast to give him a peck on his cheek rather than kiss his lips. With that you jumped inside and shut your door, throwing your back on your couch and lying down.

Everything was so silly and so wrong. You had to break up with him as soon as possible. It wasn't just unfair for you but also for Namjoon, whose love grew even bigger each day. It was cruel of you to lead him on and you had to find a way to let go of him.

The sound of a phone vibrating sent you back from your thoughts and you grabbed your phone, thinking that it was Namjoon who forgot something until you read the caller ID.

Yoongi.

Your heart was started to beat louder and with each movement of your fingers, it pounded harder against your chest. What could it be Y/N? He is probably calling because of nothing but why the hell does your body respond in that way. You thought that you forgot about your crush and that these silly feelings disappeared but with a phone call they returned. You pressed the green button and pulled the phone closer to your ear.

"Y/N" he breathed out and your world stopped. You were afraid of answering, afraid that a sound would leave your mouth because you were in a state of crying again. Smiling sadly, you closed your eyes waiting for his voice to say something.

"I'm sorry..." he mumbled, halfway swallowed words and you tried to understand what he meant.

"Yoongi?" You hoped for him to recognize your voice, maybe he was calling the wrong person but why would he address you with your name then?

"I'm an awful human being" he sobbed, and you wondered if he was sober. Turns out the boy got drunk in his studio all alone. He wasn't ever the type to get drunk let alone drink alone. He cherished every moment in his life and loved to spend it together with his friends.

"You're drunk Yoongi, go home and sleep," you said calmly as he chuckled softly, sending a shiver down your spine.

"I've missed your voice so much", and you wanted to agree, tell him that you felt the same but with what explanation?

"I'm sorry Y/N" he apologized again, "I'm a bad friend, right?" he chuckled deeply, his voice was strangled.

"What are you apologizing for? I, I don't understand..."

"I hate you," he said in a rasping tone and for a moment your heart fell into pieces, "I hate you for doing this to my heart!" he yelled out with simple directness. You winced at the loud sound of his voice and gulped. You were afraid of what would come next.

"Since the first day I met you, I fell for you" he suddenly said, your heart jumping from its place, pounding hard against your chest, "But how can someone fall for their best friend's girlfriend? That's disgusting, right! I mean I wouldn't complain if you hate me for that..." your mouth dropped wide open and your eyes were fixed on the wall in front of you. You weren't sure how to react even though your body already responded on its own.

"And the more I told myself that it was a crush, I happened to grow deeper feelings towards you. I know it's wrong but what can I do? I couldn't stop my feelings and heart and then I threw away my rationality and followed my heart..." he took a deep breath followed by a raucous tone, "In no way did I take advantage of your situation but the moment I saw you wrecked and down on your own I told myself to be there for you until you reconcile with Namjoon. But I have to say that each day I spent with you I hoped for Namjoon to never return to you again."

You couldn't say anything as you felt the tears dropping with each one of his words.

"I'm sorry for falling for my best friend's girlfriend" his voice wasn't steady at all and you thought that at any moment he will break down, crying.

"I'm sorry for falling in love with you" His voice was soft with affection and you wondered if he knew about your feelings. Unfortunately, these were his last words because the other line went quiet and after a couple of seconds the call ended, leaving you shocked in your state. The phone was still against your ear, not moving an inch as you repeated his words in your mind. This can't be, he was drunk and probably didn't know what he talked about. But why did he call you then? No matter if drunk or sober, these words left his mouth for a reason. And at that moment, all the feelings you tried to avoid and forget were coming back. You found yourself longing for his embrace and voice.

The next day was torture because you agreed to watch the boys practicing their dance routine. Your feet were walking slowly towards the direction of their dance studio, loud music was blasting through the room and before you went in you stopped. In no way were you able to avoid him. Nonetheless, you went in without knocking on the door.

"It's Y/N!" Jungkook called out loudly, stopping the music. Everyone greeted you and Namjoon walked up towards you. Your eyes were locked up with the ones of one guy in the room. Even as Namjoon leaned in to give you a peck on your cheek your stare was firmly on him. But once he saw Namjoon kissing you, he turned his head and investigated the mirror, moving to practice some parts of the dance.

"I'm happy you came, we will have some lunch after the practice. You can join us." Namjoon didn't even notice that you focused on one person in the room, he simply turned around and pressed the button to let the music start again.

You sat down in the corner as you watched Yoongi, he gave you small glances with each movement and noticed you watching him rather than your boyfriend.

In the morning, Yoongi found himself curled up on the sofa in his studio, his hands firmly on his phone. When he woke up to a huge headache he decided to go home but then the thoughts of yesterday returned. How he drank and how he started to look at the pictures of you while both of you hanging out. Pulling his phone out he unlocked it only to find out that he called you. It was even worse since you've talked for more than five minutes together. He tried everything to remember his words, but he couldn't and then he hoped that he didn't say anything wrong.

Your gazes were making everything even more embarrassing and uncomfortable since he was afraid of ruining your friendship.

After the dance practice, the guys showered and came back exhausted, only wanting to feed their grumbling stomach. You were walking behind the guys, your hands intertwined with Namjoon's as he walked quietly next to you. That boy was in no way oblivious. Of course, he noticed your changes and not even today but since a long time ago. He was so afraid of losing you that he kept shut and never brought it up. Instead, he tried to make you even happier each day while trying to spend more time with you and giving you the love and affection, you deserve.

While watching you stared at Yoongi in front of you. He was walking next to Hoseok and talked with him about various things which you couldn't catch. Indeed, he was feeling the burn of your stare which you bore into his back, but he was afraid of turning around. As of today, he knew that he made a mistake within the five minutes of talking. The boys were ordering their meals while you waited behind them. When you turned around you saw Yoongi sitting down on the chair which was reserved for the boys. Telling Namjoon your order, you decided to walk up to him and sit down next to him. Once he noticed you sitting down in front of him, he shifted in his seat uncomfortably and you wondered if he remembered what happened yesterday.

I'm sorry for falling in love with you.

You felt your cheeks blush in a shade of pink as you zoned out and stared at him. Namjoon turned around as he noticed your deep stare at his band member. He didn't think much of it though and walked up to you, giving you your order. Everyone sat down and ate their meals, laughing, talking, and making jokes except for three people at the table. Namjoon didn't want to think so deeply about it and in no way would he throw a rumor at your head.

After the meal, you hung up with Namjoon but after the confession of Yoongi everything was even more different. You happened to get uncomfortable with his touch and affection, you didn't even want to hold his hand anymore. It felt wrong and you hated yourself for leading him on. That's why you decided to finally tell him the truth about your feelings towards him. He walked you home and just as you reached your home, he leaned in to kiss your lips but this time you didn't even kiss his cheek but turned your head. Namjoon sighed deeply as he watched you in confusion.

"Y/N," he started, stepping back to not make you feel uncomfortable, "You've been acting weird lately", so he noticed?

You sighed, biting your lip and you were really surprised by how calm you were. You felt more confident but still, you had a fear of hurting his feelings.

"Look, I just want to be honest with you, without bringing in this bullshit like 'it's not you, it's me' because even though it's really me, I feel like you deserve a better explanation" You licked the bottom of your lip as you started to play with your fingers, feeling the nervous tension filling your body as you started to shake.

"You want to break up, right?" He helped you, taking tons of weight from your shoulders.

"I'm sorry Namjoon, I think I fell out of love with you, but this really has nothing to do with you! Not in any way."  You cleared your throat, feeling the burn in your throat as you looked up into his eyes, seeing the pain in his eyes as he smiled sadly, not wanting to make you feel bad.

"Y/N, I already sensed your change and I was preparing for this moment," he stopped as his voice cracked, taking a deep breath he continued, "but I still hoped that my thoughts were wrong and that's why I tried to hold onto you even tighter."

"Namjoon, you deserve the world and in no way has my feelings changed because of something you did, I just-" and that was where you stopped, I what? I fell in love with your band member, your best friend and that's why I changed? Because your love wasn't enough? What on earth did you plan to say, you just kept shut and dropped your head in shame. He chuckled painfully, and you knew that this was the last time that you would hear his voice ever again.

"I hope that you will find a person who deserves your love" you mumbled, wanting to break the silence.

He was quiet and didn't say anything at all. You stepped back slowly, turning around and pressing your passcode before you shut the door in front of his face, leaning your back against it while sobbing quietly into your hands. Your back slid down and you pulled your knees tighter and rested your head on your knees. You felt dirty and disgusting. How in the world will you ever be able to talk to him normally? You didn't want to lose him as a friend but in no way could you be his friend after breaking up with him. It's just adding pain to him.

That's how the days went by. After that day you didn't see him again nor did any of you try to contact each other. You felt like you were bothersome as long as you were staying here. Everything you did was breaking hearts, maybe the best solution to this is leaving.

You booked your tickets. Going back home wasn't an option since the conflict between you and your family haven't come to an end yet. You booked tickets for a new start, a new you and new people. Your destination was Norway, a country in which you would settle down. You figured that you deserved no one in your life. Even the drunk confession of Yoongi was too hard to believe, he was drunk and it's stupid to build upon something which came from not sober mouths. It was stupid to think that he would like you back and even if he did how would you be able to look into the eyes of Namjoon. You would rather disappear than cause a friendship to shatter.

You were in the middle of packing your luggage, taking some clothes with you. You weren't sure of returning ever again. The thought of coming back would lead to too much damage. If you're gone, no one will ever suffer.

All of sudden, your doorbell rang, and you stood up confused. You weren't sure who the person behind the door was because you weren't expecting anyone until your departure which was tomorrow in the morning.

You opened the door and were greeted by a soaked Yoongi. The rain was pouring heavily, and you didn't even notice how fast the weather changed. He didn't say anything as he walked inside your house. You shut the door and went up to him, confused and questioningly gazing him up and down. His eyes were darted on the ticket which was lying on your table. He angrily grabbed the ticket and examined the paper.

"Why are you leaving?" he asked shocked as he read through your ticket and your destination. You grabbed your ticket out of his hand and held it firmly.

"None of your business" you didn't imply sounding rude but it just came out of your mouth. You were confused as to why he was here.

"Why are you here-", "Why did you leave Namjoon?" Both of your questions escaped from your lips at the same time, making you stop in your tracks.

"It's none of your business as to why I'm here, why did you break up with-" you cut him off, crossing your arms over your chest.

"None of your business!" You mocked him and surely he wasn't impressed or pleased with your answer, "Excuse me, I forgot, you love to interfere in one's life, right?" you sounded sarcastic and it pissed him off.

"Are you going to drag me into his arms? Are you going to force me to go back to him, tell me!" you yelled and all he did was roll his eyes at you. You pulled out your arm in front of his face, showing him your wrist, "Here grab my wrist and drag me back to him" Your voice was loud and tremulous as you stepped closer while he backed away.

"Y/N, stop-" you hit his chest, making him wince.

"Stop me then!" you said, "Tell me why you're here. Are you trying to bring me and Namjoon back together? Because if that is what you want then I'm sorry, but I'll have to show you the way out of my house."

"Okay, I will tell you! But are you brave enough to hear why I'm here?" he stepped closer as well, looking down at you while you grit your teeth in frustration. You didn't even realize how close your faces were against each other, the tip of your noses was about touch. Your heart started to beat crazily as you stared straight into his eyes.

"And you?! Are you brave enough to listen to the reason as to why I broke up with Namjoon?" he shut his mouth at your words, stepping back as he realized how close both of you were standing.

"I knew it... you're not as courageous as you act like-" you hissed, as you wanted to turn around and walk away but all of a sudden, he grabbed your wrist and turned you around to himself while pulling you closer. Without any warning, his lips landed on yours. Your eyes widening as you didn't kiss back due to the shock of the sudden movement. He pulled away as he noticed that you didn't kiss back, wondering if he did a mistake. Just as he started to regret his decision of kissing you, you grabbed his collar and pulled him down, this time, closing your eyes and kissing him back.

Your hand left his collar and loosened on his chest as you grabbed onto the cloth, pressing the cloth firmly in your hands. His hands were slowly reaching out for your cheeks as cupped your face to bring you closer. His soft movement was making you flustered, but he calmed you down by circling his thumb around your cheek.

The feeling of your lips on each other's was making your hearts pound harder against your chests. It was astonishing and so rebellious. You never wanted this moment to end but just like every amazing moment comes to and you two pulled back, staring into each other's eyes and admiring each other for the time being.

"I love you" his eyes didn't leave yours and you felt the tears forming in your eyes. No matter how much you thought of this as a dream, it was the reality.

"Yoongi," you smiled, the tears leaving your eyes as you looked at him, your hand moving up to his cheek to cup it, "I love you, too" you mumbled and wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He didn't pull away but pulled you even tighter, afraid of letting you go.

"Please don't leave me" he mumbled and at that moment you realized what you did. You've kissed the best friend of your ex-boyfriend. Immediately, you pushed him away and stepped back as you shook your head.

"This is so wrong Yoongi, I ... I can't do this!" You grabbed your ticket and brushed past him, walking up into your room where you continued packing your clothes. You heard the steps getting louder as he followed you, sighing desperately.

"Why?" he asked confused and you chuckled sarcastically.

"You still do ask why? Because you're the best friend of my ex-boyfriend. You just kissed the ex of your best friend. It's not like we had no past Yoongi. We can't do this to him, we can't hurt him like that-" he cut you off.

"He will understand, we have mutual feelings towards each other. I'm sure he-" you stood up angrily.

"He what? What are you expecting him to do? Ah, Yoongi my friend you fell in love with my girlfriend, wonderful, I always rooted for you two. Yoongi we weren't honest with him, we broke his trust, and most importantly we were disloyal." You sighed, going through your hair frustratedly.

"We weren't disloyal. We didn't have a relationship behind his back nor did you cheat on him with me. We happened to fall in love with each other at the wrong time, in the wrong place. We didn't do anything wrong Y/N!" he clarified and stepped closer, but you stepped back, shaking your head heavily.

"I can't do this to him and you can't as well. Namjoon doesn't deserve this. I," you sighed, turning back to your clothes, "I will leave this place and disappear from your life. Believe me, it's the best for Namjoon, you and me-" he cut you off by stepping closer and all of a sudden his arms surrounded you and he pulled your back closer to his chest, shaking his head. His hands were balled in one fist as he pressed them on your chest to pull you tighter. His warmth was making you weaker and you closed your eyes as you felt the tears coming up again.

"Please Y/N, we will find a way, don't leave me, I need you" at that moment you heard him sobbing softly as his grab loosened, making him weaker. You turned around to Yoongi and wiped away his tears as you smiled sadly.

"Believe me Yoongi, this will be the best for the three of us. Namjoon and you will find new people and eventually you will forget about me-" your voice cracked even though you tried to appear strong in front of him. He took your hands in his.

"What about you?" he asked, his voice stern as he tried to pull himself together.

"Don't worry about me. As long as you promise me to be happy, I will be happy as well..." he shook his head at your statement, trying everything to make you stop going.

"Will you ever return?" he asked.

"I don't know..." you looked down. You had to be strong to convince him of letting you go. You didn't want to cause any harm anymore. It was already hard enough to break up with Namjoon but if he finds out about the relationship between you and Yoongi, he will surely hate you.

Yoongi wiped away the left tears and backed away, "Ah, why do I even care? It's not my problem, I can have anyone I want, and I deserve the best." He tried to make you feel jealous, but you knew his intentions. He stepped back and bit his lip, trying his best to appear stronger.

"You deserve the best" You mumbled softly, leaving a shocked expression on his face.

"That's it? That's how fast you give up on us?" He asked, sounding monotonous and you were surprised by his sudden mood changes.

"It's for the sake of your future and your happiness Yoongi." This time you didn't look into his eyes, afraid of giving in the moment he begged for you to stay again. Deep down, you hoped for him to ask you again because this time you wouldn't say no. You would stay by his side until you figure out a solution, but he didn't ask.

"Alright" he took a deep breath before turning around, "Farewell Y/N" his steps were getting quieter until they disappeared fully. Once you heard the door shut, you fell onto your knees crying painfully in your position.

Sometimes love means sacrificing their own needs for the sake and happiness of their beloved one. On that day you let go of him but your heart never let go of him.

************************************************************************

read the sequel of suddenly, it was love H E R E

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #namjoon x reader #yoongi x reader #bts angst #namjoon angst #bts scenarios #bangtan angst #bangtan boys scenarios #bts fanfiction #bangtann fiction #bts namjoon #bts yoongi #namgi #bts sad story #bangtan sad #bts angst series #bts angst scenarios #bangtan boys #bts reader

[itsonlystrange]

It’s late and I feel like talking about ST characters trauma

I feel like most people only focus on Will’s or El’s (which both are very valid ! ) but I think we both need to remember that:

1: characters exist outside of their trauma. If you believe that all a single character is is their trauma, and that they deserve no further character depth, you’re psycho

And 2: all characters in this fking show are traumatized. All. Of. Them. At this rate, I think Lucas is the most unscathed mentally, yet he ALSO has so much trauma! Which nobody ever talks about!

I love Will and El, however I feel like other characters (especially the females) deserve more expansion on the sh!t they’ve been through.

I WANT TO ALSO SAY:

This isn’t me narrowing down characters with the “most trauma” as I simply cannot put every character in this post and go on a full analysis rn as its 4:00 am. And also, trauma isn’t a competition. I am sick of people saying “so and so is more traumatized than so and so.” Or “so and so is the most/less traumatized.”

All trauma is valid.

People will trauma of any kind know that it doesn’t matter if someone lost 2 legs and half their brain, but you only broke your foot. That’s still gonna be painful! Mentally and physically! It isn’t a race. I don’t want to see ANY of that anymore. It’s disgusting and undermining other characters traumas to benefit others. All characters trauma is V A L I D. It all is! There is no “well so and so is the most traumatized so the others don’t get to complain.” NO! NO NO NO! That’s not how it works! This isn’t a game!! And don’t ever feel bad about not having gone through as much as your friend, your trauma is yours and all experiences are valid.

ALSO REMINDER: characters exist outside of their trauma and ab*se and I know that! This isn’t me belittling or shrinking down people to only a component to their trauma. It’s me pointing out their trauma rather than having their trauma he their whole character. I just think we need more people to talk about other ST characters, especially right now.

Now, without further a do:

MAX:

Max’s dad left fairly early on from what we’ve seen, however she still had some contact with him for at least a few more years as she seems to remember him and miss him quite a lot. We don’t know much about Mr. Mayfield, but we do know Max mises him a great deal. We also know that she has most likely witnessed a lot of physical and verbal ab*se from her stepfather. It’s never stated if Max is a handle to this ab*se either, but she’s definitely witnessed it. Which is why I believe she pushes people away, she’s afraid to get latched on. Because If she does she’ll start to care, and then they’ll just leave like almost everyone else, like her old friends and her father. She puts up walls and feign strength and a somewhat high ego to keep up the hallucination that she doesn’t care about what others think, when she really does. Not to mention she literally witnessed Billy die right before her eyes. Do you know how traumatizing that is? She’s also seen multiple others die aswell, making it worse. Now with Billy gone, Max will most likely be the center of Neil’s ab*se, and Will distance herself from everyone, and will probably spiral into a severe depression. She acts all tough on the outside when in reality she just wants to be loved and accepted, by her friends and family. She gets critiqued quite a lot, especially for being a girl, and you can tell she definitely has gotten the short end of the stick most her life.

KALI:

Do I even need to explain this one? She was literally ABDUCTED AS A CHILD, then adopted, then her adoptive family DITCHED HER, she was forced to see others get hurt or to hurt others for experiments, she’s seen multiple people d!e, and she feels like the only way for life to get better is by k!lling people. Although she’ll never show it, she feels so alone in the world. With no real family, and only her friends, she has nobody to turn to. Kali was so hated upon, which in a way, I understand. I don’t entirely agree with her morally but I do see where her intentions lay and I don’t think she’s as bad as a person as everyone says she is. She’s just a broken girl that deserves to be loved. And she’s so distant from love because she’s afraid of getting hurt. But she deserves happiness, and I wish the Duffers would allow her that happiness, too.

JOYCE:

Nobody EVER talks about Joyce’s trauma as much as they talk about Will’s or El’s (which I’m not invalidating either of theirs I’m just pointing out Joyce’s)

Joyce is said to deal with frequent panic attacks and anxiety. She was verbally and probably physically ab*see by her husband leaving her with severe trust issues. For awhile the whole town thought she was crazy, and we’ve seen her be treated like an outcast. She doesn’t fit in. Back in the 80’s, single moms were looke down upon. Will is constantly referred to as “Lonnie’s Boy”, because that’s what people see him as, even when Lonnie ditched Will and hurt him more than Joyce ever could. Joyce works/worked multiple jobs, and had to keep up her family of two boys. It got so bad even Jonathan had to get one or two jobs just to keep a roof over their heads.

Joyce really deserves happiness. She’s always alert now and her anxiety has only gotten worse. She’s constantly looking for things that aren’t there and although she may have been right about the magnets, it’s worrying that she saw a pattern there, anyways. Her life has given her the short end of the stick multiple times. She’s seen multiple people d!e, her son get possessed, her son get exorcised and be in so much pain, the love of her life (Bob) die right in front of her, the other love of her life (Hopper) die right infront of her, she’s been losing herself since season one, and knowing it’ll only get worse in season 4 scares me so much. She deserves to settle down and find a happy family. She deserves love and support and therapy. And she deserves support system that will listen to her and be there for her. Joyce is so strong in so many ways, she has always percerviered through the thick and thin, and life has ever gone in her direction yet she stays there, for her boys, and doesn’t give up. She is so kind and loyal, she took El under her wing, she was there countless nights when Lonnie was screaming, protecting Will. She was there, staying up all night to make sure Will went to bed safely. She worked two jobs and has tried to get enough money for Jonathan to go to college, and yet life has never given her anything back. This woman has been through hell, she deserves to be loved with no consequences. She deserves to be happy without it backfiring. Joyce is such a dimensional character. She’s had her ups and downs, and she’s somehow always found ways to keep on pushing forward past where most people would break. THATS Queen shit

NANCY:

Now, it looks like Nancy had a fairly peaceful upbringing. While I don’t think she has as much trauma as Mike, I feel like a lot of people over look her and her existence and immediately write her off as “selfish” or a “brat”. And while I do agree that she does have some selfish or self centered moments, she’s always grown from those. Character development, people!

Nancy, the oldest of 3, definitely got the most love from her mother. I don’t think her home life has ever been bad. Although Karen and Ted aren’t the perfect happy couple, they don’t seem to fight much, and they seem pretty peaceful. So I don’t think Nancy’s home life is bad necessarily, and from the outside it could almost be described as “perfect”.

However, there is so much beneath that.

Nancy was stuck in a loveless relationship for about a year. She did the best she could at school to fit in or “be popular”. She wanted to stay with Steve because that seemed like the most logical option. He was popular, rich, he’d be the perfect guy to settle down with. But her heart was telling her to go else where. Jonathan was poor, unpopular, and isn’t necessarily the perfect guy to settle down with financially. Her parents put pressure on her to be the perfect housewife (more so her dad, I don’t think karen did as much.) so when Nancy falls for someone the exact opposite of what she should be going for, she’s in denial. She’s torn between the two. She had a perfect life ahead of her. Great friends, popularity, a loving boyfriend, but she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to settle down and living a boring life just like her parents.

Besides all that, she’s been pulled into an alternate dimension, she’s seen multiple people d!e, she’s nearly been k!led MULTIPLE times. She’s had to k!ll people for her own safety. She’s had to watch her boyfriends brother get excorcised, and also stab her boyfriends brother with a flaming hot rod. She’s had to live with the guilt of Barbara, her best friend, dying while she was sleeping with Steve. She feels so much guilt, survivors guilt, for not doing anything that night. She’s had to live with the fact that her bestfriend since she was little passed on right outside where Nancy was, and Nancy could’ve done something about it, which is the worse part. She’s been harassed by misogynistic coworkers for the fact that she’s a female, lowering her self esteem. And it seems that whenever she does something good in the world it always backfires. She feels like an outcast even though she has so many “friends”, or so it seems. She has the perfect house at the end of a culdesac. What can she possibly be sad over? Her life seems seamless. Yet there is a lot buried under there. She seems like she’s in denial over a lot of things, and constantly in a stage of grief. Nancy deserves to not feel ridiculed. She deserves to be a winner, and to prove those misogynistic @ssholes wrong. She shouldn’t have to fit this cookie cutter ideal. She’s a badass. She’s experienced way more than I feel like most people realize, and has been put in the center of absolute insanity yet still was able to come out of it intact. She deserves to live the life she wants to live, without Survivors Guilt, without the feeling of being an outcast, without low self esteem. Nancy is such a strong young woman in more ways than one, and I feel like so many people hate on her solely because she isn’t doing what most of these girl next door characters usually do. She subverted her own trope. And most people are angry that she isn’t this cookie cutter girl the way she’s “supposed to be”. She gets overlooked, and most people prefer the men of the cast, over her. And yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion, however I’ve seen people hate on Nancy for stupid misogynistic things, which isn’t a valid reason to dislike a character. And most people assume she’s just a spoiled, self obsorbed, ditzie girl, but she really is just someone trapped inside a box trying to get out. Nancy is a baddie. She’s always defended her friends. She’s always defended her brother, and has fought interdimensonal demons before. SHE IS SUCH A BADASS! She learned how to use a gun at the age of 16, despite most woman in the 80’s not even slowing themselves to touch a gun. She grew independent and learned to work for herself and not for others. She cracked a major story at the Hawkins Post, and even when people didn’t believe her, she still pursued it, and was right! She doesn’t give up, and people should be looking up to her and aspiring to be her. She literally beat up someone with a fire hydrant while playing a game of Marco Polo. Why does nobody talk about that! She will kick your ass into the next dimension. THATS Queen shit.

That’s all for now. I will touch back up on this later with some more characters traumas (probably Mike’s, Dustin’s, Lucas’s, and more.) but this is it for now. I really think we should pay more attention to the woman in the ST cast and their characters. A lot of focus is usually on the boys, which is understandable, but I wanted to point out how strong all these girls are and how much I admire them. I love Will and el as well, but I’ve already made several posts talking about them and how badass they are, lol. I wanted to shine light on more people that usually don’t take the spotlight very often. I’ll be back with more, later! As I said above, I’ll totally touch on some more people’s trauma as well, as there’s a lot beneath the surface I feel like most people don’t pay attention to.

SORRY FOR SUPER LONG POST

PS: I began writing that at 4:44am, then fell asleep. It’s 11:45 am now.

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 #nancy wheeler #joyce byers #kali prasad #max mayfield

[91percentpynch]

lonely heart - kevaaron au pt 4

oh look it‘s me, coming out of my dark hole to make you suffer with a super sad chapter with a nasty cliffhanger:) so get your tissues ready and enjoy!! okay first of all sorry that i didn‘t update this in a g e s and that it‘s rather short and for the cliffhanger, but i‘ll try to update it more regularly now:)

check this out for the other parts:)

trigger warnings: drug abuse, mention of suicide, mention of mental health issues, very sad aaron, mention of blood

“You were too good for me”, Aaron whispered into the void. “You were way too fucking good for me. You made me a better man. And I fucked up”

Aaron got up as he felt the tears burning in his eyes. He knew he wouldn‘t be able to sleep alone tonight. Like every single goddamn night since he left Kevin. Like every single goddamn night since he made the biggest mistake of his life.

„Taylor?“, the blonde haired boy murmered, „You up?“

„Babe, you know I‘m up. My girlfriend lives three states away, we talk every single day at the same time as you call your man. Not that I would be able to sleep when you call him, cause a) i love Day and b) you‘re always sad and high and end up in my room anygays, so did he take the phone darling?“

Taylor was Aaron‘s roommate and the closest thing he had to a best friend. She had been there for him every single day, cuddled him, held him while he cried and dried his tears afterwards. And Aaron did the same when she misssed her girlfriend too much.

„You do realize he is not my man anymore, I fucked that up. Big time. He did actually take the phone just to tell me to fuck off and stop calling“

„You could always go over there and say it in his pretty face. Didn’t say you can’t come over did he?Pro point: Might lead to making out“, Taylor said while taking him in her arms. „Plus another pro point: you‘d get sober again. And you‘re less moody. No offense but a Kevin-less Aaron is hardly managable, like you‘re either a whiny little bitch or you‘ll give me the death glare of the cenutry. Legit worse than Andrew‘s and I called him a cute little baby boo once when I was drunk and he almost stabbed me right there with a look on his face like I just murdered Neil in front of him“

„Tay, I take that as a compliment. And we both know Kevin’s a bit of a dumbass so he did not exactly tell me Not To Come over just stopp calling. Anyways I don‘t even know where he lives. And stop talking about me getting high, you do the same shit“

„Yeah but I know my limits and I have not the same history as you. And for the i DoN‘t EvEn KnOwS wHeRe He LiVeS, phone number. Now“

„O- okay“, Aaron said and told her Kevin‘s phone number while Taylor calmingly stroked his back.

„Neat, got him“, Taylor said after a while. „He‘s with the scary big dude and his adorable little boyfriend I think? I have their address right here, I think we‘re gonna visit them tomorrow cause it‘s like 4 am right now and we don‘t wanna rob him his beauty sleep plus we don‘t want to wake the scary big dude. And I‘m pretty sure the adorable small golden retriver boy could and would stab us“

„Did you just stalk my ex and located his phone at 4 am like fucking Garcias in Criminal Minds?“, Aaron said confused.

„Anything for you big guy. And as I said I miss Day‘s pretty face, preferably in your pretty face so you shut the fuck up about how stressed and depressed and lonely you are.“, Taylor chuckled as Aaron looked at her shocked.

„Well I miss Casey, preferable in your face so YOU shut up“, Aaron was never as good in witty remarks as his brother. Especially high Aaron.

„Babe I think it‘s time for you to go to bed, you‘re not fun when you‘re sad, high and tired. Come here, let me cuddle you, while you whiney little bitch sleep“

Aaron slowly went over to Taylor and into her loving arms, laying down, trying to fall asleep.

After a long while aaron drifted into sleep, just to be greeted by familiar smaragd eyes. In his dream Kevin and he never broke up. Kevin was on top of him, his hands gently discovered Aaron‘s body, touching him as if he was sacred, something to worship. Kevin‘s lips were at Aaron‘s ear whispering sweet nothingness. Aaron‘s hips moved against Kevin‘s loving touch. „Stress release“ Kevin called these holy moments in dawn. „Highlight of my day“ Aaron called them.

The dream was as beautiful as it was cruel. It was as if his body, his mind were as much refusing as able to believe that Kevin was gone. It was his own fault, Aaron knew it. But the ever present voice of his mother, disapproving and disgusting, in his head was just too much for him to handle. He thought - foolish as Aaron was - that the pain of living without Kevin would be better, less cruel, less painful. But he never knew real love and therefore never experienced its lost. Until that faitful day. Until Kevin took his bags and left.

Aaron was used to pain. The hot one after an extraordinarily vicious hit. The cold one when his mother died. The numbing one when the hunger was growing more and more unbareable. But nothing was even slightly as hard to handle as the loss of Kevin in his life.

Kevin was the first good thing Aaron had. He gave him a will to stay, to try, to give this stupid sport everything he got. And Exy turned into more mundane things like getting his eating routine under control or getting a more or less acceptable sleeping schedule. The dark days were still there, for both of them, and they would probably never leave them completely alone, but they got less. And when they did happen they would hold each other together.

Ever since he fucked up things with Kevin, Aaron had more and more dark days. The voice of his mother telling him he‘s a failure, the bored stare of his brother and Aaron convincing himself Andrew wouldn‘t even bet an eye if he died, the voice telling him the world would be a better place without him growing louder and lourder every passing day.

Logically he could say that the death of a single person wouldn‘t change much for the over all world population, expect maybe it‘s some kind of insane mademan dicator or someone important, but still. It made sense. All he did after all was fucking up, being a failure, never good enough, never perfect.

His lonely heart only screamed Kevin‘s name and he knew if Kevin didn‘t take him back, his life wouldn‘t make much sense anymore. Well he would definetly not tell Kevin that. He would not manipulate Kevin into loving him, because that wouldn‘t be much better than not having him at all.

Aaron woke up the next day around noon. He didn‘t really feel like getting up, like getting up was simply too much. But Aaron knew he had to. He didn‘t want to worry Taylor more than he already did. And it would end today. One way or the other.

So he got up, put on the first pair of black jeans he could find and the first sweater his hands could find. Ironically it was one of the sweaters Kevin gave him, on the third of december last year. It was one of Aaron‘s favourites as well.

„Ready for the big Day, small guy?“, Taylor said winking at him.

„Not really? What the fuck am I supposed to do there anyways?“, Aaron replied on his way to the coffee maker.

„Talk to him? Deliver one of those borderline cringe big speeches. Get im flowers. Break into his bedroom and say ‚Draw me like one of your french girls‘, naked of course“, Taylor laughed at the face Aaron made, listening to her suggestions.

„I think I like the big speech. I mean I‘m shit with words, but I‘m sure you want to help your boy getting ‚his man‘ back, right? Also what kind of flowers would you give someone you dumped cause the voice of your dead mother told you it was wrong and disgusting, which you never told him for obvious reasons?“

„Honey, you‘re so fucked up sometimes, I love you but you should go to a therapist or something. Also I‘d say sunflowers or roses? I don‘t speak flowers man, I‘m the tech nerd. Not the romantic one, the nerd. But we‘re gonna make a snazzy speech and you‘re gonna get your man back“

After their typical breakfast - if Aaron didn‘t forget to eat again - they sat down together on the living room floor, paper and pen ready, trying to write the world changing speech.

„Why is this so fucking hard? Why can I only tell him how much I love and miss him when I‘m high off my ass“, Aaron complained.

„What about you don‘t think about him that much. Just tell me what you love about him and then we write that down?“, Taylor suggested.

Aaron took a deep breathe and closed his eyes. „I loved him because he was the first one who saw me. Aaron Minyard. And not just the other Minyard, the lesser twin, the shadow of Andrew. He looked at me and somehow chose me. Even if he could have had everyone else. He chose me, even though I‘m not special. Kevin chose the failure when he could have had the first prize. He looked at me and saw something worth loving, worth keeping around. Hardly anyone could tell Andrew and me apart. But it took him less than a day to do so. Kevin is strong, so so strong and somehow chose the most fragile thing he could find, took it and made it worth soemthing. Kevin made me feel something. Not numbness. Not pain. Something warm and beautiful and living. He gave me a reason to stay alive. Kevin made my life bearable, he made my life beautiful. We were both broken and we would probably still be broken if we were together but we softened each other‘s edges. Kevin believed in me when no one else would. He knew how I felt, knew what I needed and when I needed it. Kev gave me love and safety and I kicked it with my feet. This man is like a god who fell for whatever reasons for a homeless man. And I know I don‘t deserve him but I also know I cannot live without him. And I know that I must tell him that before it‘s too late. If it‘s not too late already“

Taylor wipped a tear out of her eyes. „That‘s it. You tell him that and we‘ll get him back“, she said. „Can I hug you?“

„Sure you loser“

„Ah there is my boy“

They spent the rest of the afternoon writing down the speech, making edits here and there. In the end Aaron collected the pages and went to his room to change. He replaced Kevin‘s sweater with a simple black jumper, put on his Docs, got his keys and left.

Aaro did feel a little uncomfortable, stalking Kevin like that. But he knew this was his chance to fix things. This was his chance to get Kevin back, to make his life worth living again. Which to be fair was a bit selfish, but you are allowed to be a little selfish sometimes, aren‘t you?

Jean and Jeremy‘s apartment complex was a 15 minute drive away from the flat Aaron shared with his three roommates. Theirs was fanzier, obviously. After all Jeremy was a professional Exy player and Jean was some kind of semi famous artist or fashion maker or whatever. They could give Kevin the world. They could give him what he desereved. All Aaron had to offer was an apology and his love. No money. Not yet anyway. Just anxiety, depression and stress.

But if Kevin was willing to take his love, to give Aaron one more chance, he promised himself Aaron would make it count. He will tell Kevin how much he loves Kevin every single god damn day. Aaron will get therapy and work on his issues. Sober up and this time for good. He will do anything to be worth of god‘s love. Just that god in his case was a twenty two year old boy with black hair, forming soft waves at the end and a smile that will make the sun jealous. Eyes made out of smaragd. Lips so sinful and kissable.

Aaron sat down in front of the door, waiting for his courage to come back to him. He could do this. He would get his man back.

Hours passed, or maybe it were only minutes or seconds after all before someone came closer. Ever so slowly Aaron lifted his head, just to look in the ever so familiar green eyes, big with shock.

„You said to stop calling. You never mentioned face to face conversations“, Aaron said, his voice hoarse.

Kevin stared at him as if he was a ghost, a reminder of his past life, something he rather wanted to forget.

„Look I know I fucked up. I know I‘m not good enough for you. I know you deserve the world and I cannot give it to you. And when you look me in the eyes and tell me you don‘t feel anything for me anymore, no love or hate or affection or whatever humans feel, I will turn away right now and go and never come back. Never bother you again. But if you allow me to apologize, if you however decide to gieve me one last chance, I prepared this whole ass speech for you“

Aaron was sure they could hear his heart beating against his chest, roaring, screaming to return home. To return to Kevin where it belonged.

Kevin‘s eyes wandered to the floor, his fingers automatically closed around his left wrist. A nervous habit. Just another little part that makes Aaron‘s heart ache.

Slowly, almost painfully slowly, he lifted those unbelieveable beautiful eyes and met Aaron‘s golden ones. Kevin studied him and the world around them stopped.

Out of the corner of Aaron‘s eyes he could see Jean going still, his breathing too calm, too even. It‘s the same thing Andrew does when someone fucks with Josten. At least his death would be fast. Or slow. Whatever. Aaron didn‘t really care, without Kevin it wasn‘t worth anygthing anyway.

„Why“, Kevin said after what feels like forever, „Why would I forgive you? Why would I give you another chance? Why would you think you can come back here just to fuck me over again? Aaron I loved you, I really did. I always will. You were my first love and maybe, yeah maybe, my last one. But right now I can‘t. I just, I just can‘t. Please leave. Please leave me alone. For now. Maybe, one day we can talk about it. But right now I cannot handle the thought of you to leave me. To tell me all these beautiful lies, to cut me open and leave me to bleed out. I love you“, tears were running down Kevin‘s cheek. Tears Aaron one day, a long time ago, promised himself he would never let Kevin feel again. Pain. Sadness. Everything because of his failure, because of his weakness, because he‘s a fucking piece of shit.

„Thank you for giving me a reason to stay. Jusst remember that you were my light, my warmth, my happiness and I never stopped loving you. Never will. Please just be happy“, Aaron replied as he turned around to walk to his cars.

When he was sure he was out of ear shot, he let himself feel. Feel the pain. Feel the loneliness. Feel the numbness and the cold and the hatred. It was in that moment, that moment where he was alone and nothing more to lose, that he decided that it was enough. He would end it. End it tonight.

„Thank you“, he texted Taylor. „I‘m glad I didn‘t eat you in the womb“, he texted Andrew. „You were not so bad after all“, he sent to Neil. And lastly „Thank you for taking me under your wing“, to Nicky. They would understand. It would take them some time but in the end they would feel better. They would be happier without them. Because at the end of the day he caused them pain and wasn‘t really worth a thing.

So when he got in his car, tears running uncontrallably down his cheeks, he knew what he had to do.

#all for the game #the foxhole court #the raven king #the king’s men #kevin day #aaron minyard #ship: kevaaron #kevaaron