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gh0ulbunni · 3 years

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Aight bitches, headcanons for my version of the WATXM Cartoon's 'Mortimer Toynbee'

(TW: Death, suicide, depression, mental illness, body horror but it's not that bad)

-The stage we see Mortimer at in the show is most likely him as an 18 - 20 year old, still in the juvenile stages of his mutation as it occurred after the death of his mother Esmerelda. Esmerelda was a kind and meek but busy woman who ultimately died from a stroke caused by high blood pressure. She worked 3 high stress jobs in order to try and keep a roof over her and Mort's heads as his father gave up his rights because he "Didn't want a freak for a son and that he'd never be his son."

-When his mutation actually began to show after her death when he was 3, Mortimer's once ivory skin turned fully green and due to the neglect his hair became matted in chunks (the braids we see in the show), his hygiene dropped to little to no self-care because of the new allergic reactions he'd get when his new sensitive skin came into contact with the naturally chemical loaded body washes, deodorants, shampoo, and tooth pastes that he had. He turned to showering with just water and brushing his teeth with just water, but the water the brotherhood has access to was INCREDIBLY dirty and laced with chemicals that made him sick.

-Mortimer is actually incredibly smart, but others would feel threatened by him when he tried to show this so he mainly acts dumb and stupid as a way to avoid conflict and aggression from people (Specifically Pietro and Dominikos).

-At 22 he finally leaves the brotherhood after being there for 4 years and tries to take his own life only to realize he's developed superhuman durability and a healing factor. This immediately makes him frustrated because he feels he's been punished and forced to live a miserable life.. And in comes Spider-Man who talks him out of trying to jump and takes him to SHIELD.

-After a few days at SHIELD's holding cells he makes a bit of an impression on Fury who offers him a role as an agent. Mortimer, a people pleaser who'll take any chance to climb up the ladder in life, immediately agrees and sets to work training.

-As he trains, his mutation gets stronger and he unlocks more abilities he never thought he could have: Superhuman strength, durability, endurance, agility, senses, special eyesight, chemical and toxin production, flexible bone structure, superhuman lungs, telepathic communication with amphibians, acidic saliva, flaming tongue, and a venomous pheremone secretion that allows for mind control.

-The final step was when he fell extremely ill and it was discovered that his genetic makeup was severely broken due his involvement in an experiment called the Black Womb Project, ran by Charles Xavier's step-father/Juggernaut's father Kurt Marko. This left Mortimer's DNA and mutation severely unstable and it almost caused him to loose control of his new powers and have multiple mental breakdowns and even a manic episode where was on an extreme high before going through psychosis in which he believed Magneto was out to kill him for leaving his son's group.

-After having a hell of a few months, Mortimer is put through a new process called Genetic Rehabilitation designed for mutants who've been forced through experimentation programs and have had their DNA damaged.

-After a while his skin turns from 100% green to 40% green with lots of ivory patches. The tops of his hands, chest, stomach, inside of his legs, and the tops and bottoms of his feet are a pale ivory color while his back, neck, cheek and temples, arms, his sides, and the outsides of his legs are varying shades of soft green with patches of dark green ranging in sizes from small to giant patches on his joints and sockets (shoulders, elbows, knees, and hips) which he's self-concious about at first but comes to love his new look. The most shocking part is his eyes which become black with amber irises that have flicks of lime and gold in them.

-Along with getting therapy for his DNA and body, he gets therapy for his mental health which.. Hoo boy he was and still is strugglin (but not as bad). He has: BPD, C-PTSD, GAD, ODD, and Depression.

-Absolutely loves brushing and caring for his hair, which, after it's unmatted and cleaned of bugs and gunk is ass length and black with a silky shine to it. He still wears his old bandana thing

-Has picked up playing a musical instrument in his spare time. If he isn't working, tinkering with his suit, gear, and gadgets then he's playing... The violin?

-He's suprisingly good at it.

-After becoming a shield agent he starts to get more confidence before meeting a mutant who was currently in SHIELD's custody... Said mutant being the oc of @ohmygillygoshoppler

-Callista and Mortimer become close, he spends lunchbreaks with her, constantly volunteers to be her guard/escort when she's let out.

-Ok so, dad headcanons lETS GO

-Cal and Mort end up having a daughter named after his mom, and her thing is having her mom's monster mouth with mouths on her hands that can shoot out 13ft long flaming tongues. Esme (or Esmerelda) absolutely becomes a rescue hero

-Callie is into clown/circus lolita outfits and Mortimer is a grunge punk. Esme never gets dressed in the basic ass kids clothes, she looks like mini Wednesday Addams.

-This child never gets put down (physically), Mort or Cal are always holding her.

-Mort and Esme are the epitome of "Don't talk to me or my kid ever again" while Esme is copying her dad's glare.

-Alright, Mort's strong.

-Like, really strong. He didn't even know how strong until he was cornered on his first mission as a shield agent and he kicked his enemy with his leg so hard he decapitates them.

-He can kick hard enough to knock down concrete walls, snap people in half, crack and damage paved roads, and create enough air pressure to knock people over.

-His tongue can crush skulls

-He could get hit by a semi-truck and still walk away with a few bruises

-Develops a bite force of 1,000 PSI (Less than a polar bear)

-He bench presses 3 tons with his legs and 1 ton with his arms

-Develops retractable claws that can lengthen and shorten, he uses these to fight.

-Looks like he could kill you, can kill you but has the energy of a golden retriever puppy

-As he ages he becomes more.. Forgiving? Of the people who've hurt him, specifically Pietro. He'll forgive but never forget, it's like when you drop a mug. It won't ever be the same.

-I imagine he fights a lot like how Deku does? The leg based fighting and shoot style is a big part of his fight style.

-Legs for daaaaaaaays, they're so long. Also he's 5'8 now because Toad is canonically 5'8 - 5'10 and he'll hold it over Wolverine while snickering.

#headcanons #xmen headcanon #my headcanons #artists on tumblr #x-men #x men the animated series #x men first class #x men rp #marvel #character design #mortimer toynbee #this can also go for Todd too #todd tolansky #x-men toad #the brotherhood of evil mutants

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verlysgaminglife · 3 years

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Our life- A very nervous friendship

this is a very long so under a cut away it goes. this is the start of my let’s play. so if anyone wants to read it it’s right here:

Usually when I play games I create an original character because I’m me every day of my life, why be me in stories, but I’ve played this game as a beta tester since before the game was even a demo so I’ve created plenty of oc’s and I will created plenty more.

I can’t play the version of myself that i was as a child. Trying to place the version of myself back to my childhood would not be as easy as creating a new person and their personality. trying to remember who I was as a kid would not be very easy for me. I know I was made fun of a lot especially around the age that the protag starts off as. I’d rather not start remembering back through all of that because that might start a “fun” evening of disassociation. So, no thank you.

For the let’s play I want to share here I decided to play a version of myself, but the current me with all my mental heath issues I didn’t have back when I was a kid. Those all came with experiences and trauma that happened through my life. I *became* who I am today.

In our life you start using a very customizable paper doll character creator. this does not show on screen when you play. the whole game is in first person so your character is reacting to everything that is happening on the screen. the paper doll is just so there is an idea of what your character looks like.

the second page lets you pick details such as if you were glasses, have freckles or birthmarks, there’s also a simple check mark system for what clothing you were “pants, dresses, shirts and skirts” and nothing in this game is locked behind a certain gender or ideal. for example as a youngster my mom made me wear dresses and skirts (I didn’t mind the skirts) so I picked all four. I also had, (and still do) a face full of freckles, they are also on my arms and legs, but not on my torso. I also have a scar on my back and on on my arm. I marked all of those things.

*for helping fund the game the Voiced Name DLC gave the option of having my name voiced out loud by Cove the main LI in the game. it’s pretty cute to be honest. As for Quinn that is a gender neutral name I’ve used in gaming even back on the consoles in my house so my brothers would know which game save was mine. I wanted a name that could be used for all characters regardless of what game we bought. At the time I hated my given name, now I’ve somehow gotten used to it. If you’ve noticed me playing games online, like on mobile or somewhere and I’m not going by Verly, there’s why.*

This is something right at the beginning of the game that if you are reading too fast you can miss. The protagonist has two moms. :)

this game is very customizable when it comes to what kind of person you want your MC to be there are *so* many choices in this game and I’m still surprised how much the game recognizes what personality you give them. For my MC since I am basing it on myself, my parents *would* have told me that running away was indeed an option if I felt scared or uncomfortable.

The big first decision in the game is from this guy. He’s offering you 20$ to be friends with his kid. Who is your new next door neighbor. at this point you do not know who this kid is or what could be so bad about him that is dad is bribing you with money. (just kidding) but those thoughts could def be in your head.

I chose that I would have run away and for the biggest impact screamed out “stranger danger” as I ran. because when I want attention I want all the attention.

after running off to the back of the house an into the hillside you stop and find out you are not alone: up on the hill you see this young green haired boy:

and life will never be the same. at least if you choose the friendship or love storylines. you can even play the full game where your MC and this young man never hit it off. it’s like two families that just force neighbors to hang out because they live across the street from each other.

here’s the MC’s two moms. :) I love them both so much.

This is the feelings indicator. each period of time is called a “step’ this is th e shared feelings for childhood. whatever you pick here Cove mutually feels the same way for the MC. You slide these up yourself. the left side is comfort. which are nervous, relaxed, and direct. the right side is interest. which are indifferent, fondness, and crush. I’ve picked nervous fondness because even as a kid I was demi even if I didn’t know what the heck that was. I would have wanted to be around Cove a lot and have been nervous around him ( and anything else. I have GAD) , but it would not have been anything more than that.

I think that’s more than enough for now. I’ll share more next time. anyone on steam has already seen most of this shared over there in the screenshots as well as a lot more. I’ve also added commentary. I’ll take more screenshots once I catch up my blog to where I am in my picture catalogue. lol so, after I finish posting step 1.

#VGL-ourlife-letsplay #Our Life #our life beginnings & always #ourlifeba

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omgrachwrites · 5 years

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May Queen (Loki Laufeyson)

Pairing: OC x Loki

Summary: Astrid, the princess of Vanaheimr relocates to Asgard to seal a betrothal to the youngest prince. She soon finds happiness and a multitude of new friends. Unfortunately treachery and deceit lie in the court of Asgard in unlikely places, and she learns that true love never dies.

Warning: fluff, angst, slowburn

Words: 2524

A/N: Wow, this is such a long one! I hope you guys enjoy and please let me know what you think, I love you all! xxx

Part Four - The Wedding

Astrid wanted to be alone that morning, she needed to be alone to allow herself to be truly upset without Mara’s eyes glancing at her in sympathy, and she couldn’t stand those types of looks, especially from her handmaiden. She had supposed that she’d cry on the morn of her love’s wedding, though now she was standing in her underclothes in front of the mirror and the tears just would not come.

Astrid had plenty of reasons to cry though, the day before her mother had dropped a huge bombshell upon her shoulders. The Queen wanted Astrid and Loki to be intimate with one another before their wedding. Her reasoning behind it was that if Loki got her pregnant then Odin couldn’t get cold feet about the match before they were wed. It felt like it was a trap for them both and Astrid felt like her mother was selling her to the highest bidder.

To top it all off, Arna – Erik’s betrothed – was a lovely young woman and she’d be able to make Erik extremely happy. Astrid would have liked it better if Arna was awful, then Erik might have been more compelled to come back to her. She sighed at her reflection, a pasty colour invaded her normally rosy skin, making her look ill – she wondered if she could get ill from a broken heart – and her baby blue eyes were glassy with unshed tears.

Though, she supposed that she’d better make herself look beautiful, she had to put on her best face. She picked out a velvet burgundy dress that came off at the shoulders and ended in long sleeves embellished with golden threaded designs. Golden flowers were sewn into the hem of her dress. Upon her curls she rested her crown and pinched her cheeks to bring some life back into them. A knock at her door startled her slightly, she wasn’t expecting any company. She closed her eyes for a moment and there was another knock at her door in the meantime. Astrid willed her voice not to shake as she called out to whoever was knocking.

“Come in,” she worried at her bottom lip with her teeth as the door swung open to reveal Mara who had a sympathetic look on her face, just like Astrid knew she would have, “whatever is the matter?” she asked as Mara lingered in the doorway.

“Do you remember the wedding custom?” she started with wide eyes when Astrid raised an eyebrow, Mara continued with quick, nervous words tumbling out of her mouth, “as the reigning princess, it is customary for you to bless the bride, for a fortunate wedding and future,” she added, licking her lips nervously.

Astrid’s stomach dropped. How could she forget? She was such a fool.

“Yes of course, please send the blushing bride in,” she tried so very hard to keep the bitter tone out of her voice, “it merely slipped my mind with the happenings of this morning,” she smiled wanly and turned to the table beside her bed, it was part of the custom to give the bride a token.

What was she supposed to give the woman that was about to gain everything that she’d ever wanted? The princesses’ eyes landed on a red velvet box, sighing as she opened it and saw the golden circlet adorned with shimmering moonstones. She’d received it from a travelling merchant and it was said to bless the wearer with fertility. Astrid had been planning on wearing the beautiful item for her own wedding but that was before her idea of a fairy tale wedding was killed.

By the time that Astrid gad turned back around to face Mara, Arna had entered the room and Astrid’s breath was momentarily taken away. Arna’s wedding dress was a flowy white masterpiece and in the morning sunlight her auburn hair shone like copper. If there was one thing that was certain it was that Erik and Arna would have beautiful children with hair kissed by fire.

“My lady, you look more beautiful than anybody could have ever imagined,” Astrid smiled, tilting her head in Arna’s direction as she placed the circlet upon Arna’s head, “I hereby bless you on this day and all of your future days. I bless you, your children and your children’s children for all the days and nights to come.”

“My lady,” Arna bowed low and gracefully, “you are too kind, I thank you for your blessing and now I must finish preparing myself to meet my love at the altar, I beg your leave.”

“As you will my lady,” Astrid nodded as Arna swept from her chambers, on the way to the future that should have been Astrid’s, the princess sighed as she smoothed down her hair, “come on Mara, let’s get to the grove before we’re late,” she left the room without waiting for Mara’s answer.

In the warmer months and when the weather was good, the wedding processions were held in an enchanted – or that’s what the common people called it – grove and when it got cold they’d have it in the Great Hall.

“Are you quite alright my lady?” Mara asked nervously as they made it outside into the blinding sunlight.

“I’m fine Mara, let’s not talk about it further,” she sternly dismissed Mara’s tentative words as her eyes landed on Loki who was standing on the front lawn of the castle, Astrid vaguely wondered for a second if he’d been waiting for her.

“Your Grace,” he grinned, taking her hand in his and kissing the top of it lightly, he looked very handsome, “you look so beautiful, as always,” Astrid blushed at his compliment, up until about two days ago it seemed like he didn’t want to know her and now he was giving her compliments and he was being very charming, she wondered what had changed. Though, she wasn’t complaining, she kind of liked his attention.

“As do you, my prince,” she answered with a smile, feeling slightly more cheerful. Loki smiled, the corners of his eyes creasing as he did so. He even greeted Mara politely, that was one of the things that Astrid liked about Loki, he was gracious and kind to everyone, even to the servants.

Loki held out his hand for Astrid to take, she hesitated for a split second as she glanced at his face before she took his hand and they walked towards the grove together, greeted people as they passed. The Queen smiled proudly at her daughter as she walked to the ceremony with Odin and Frigga while Thor was taking one of the ladies from court, she was laughing obnoxiously and unnecessarily loud.

Astrid’s breath was taken away as they arrived at the grove; it had been the place of an old chapel that had been destroyed in a battle, though the stone arches still remained. No one knew why, some said it was the will of the gods and other people said that they had been protected by fairy magic. White and pink spring flowers hung down from the arches and the forest floor was scattered with pale pink petals.

It certainly was a magnificent spectacle and Erik looked stunning in his wedding robes, she longed to go and talk to him but she couldn’t. It was almost as if Erik could feel Astrid’s eyes upon him because he refused to look in her direction as she walked to the front with Loki. The incessant ache in Astrid’s heart didn’t go away and too soon it was time for the wedding to begin as the bards started up the wedding tune.

Astrid fought to conceal the gasp that threatened to escape her lips, Arna looked very beautiful in her white dress and with the sun behind her she looked like an angel. Astrid glanced at Erik to see that he was beaming with joy. At that very moment Loki placed his hand on her lower back and Astrid leaned into his touch, thankful for it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Mara and Loki exchange a glance. The ceremony soon started and Erik and Arna promised to love and respect each other till the end of time a four cords were draped over their hands and tied as they shared their kiss.

The wedding feast was a joyous occasion for everyone – well almost everyone – Erik smiled gracefully at his new wife as they ate their way through some amazing courses, passing on some of them. When the hours started to pass by Loki did the honours by asking the bride to grace him with a dance, leaving Erik and Arna in each other’s company. After a couple of moments Erik wordlessly held out his hand to the princess, just as quietly she took his hand after a second of hesitation and she let him lead her.

“You look lovely this evening Your Grace,” Erik started as he pulled her close to dance with her.

“Congratulations Sir, your new bride is simply lovely,” she said in a monotone voice, ignoring the compliment as she watched Arna dance with Loki.

“Astrid, look at me,” he asked and she shook her head as hot tears blurred her vision. The man she loved was right beside her but she couldn’t have him, she couldn’t reach him, “please Astrid,” she sighed and looked at him, his eyes were the colour of emeralds and his lips were a cherry red from his biting them.

A crease was forming in the middle of his forehead and she reached up with soft fingers almost as if she could smooth it out with just her touch, “you look so beautiful,” she whispered and he had the grace to blush. Astrid had to try and ignore how right she felt in his arms.

“Before you were promised to Prince Loki I tried to delay the wedding,” Erik confessed and Astrid’s grip tightened slightly on his strong shoulder.

“Why?” she asked, wondering what on earth could have made him ever think of doing that.

“Isn’t it obvious? Because I love you, the gods are indeed cruel to keep us apart from each other,” he said, lowering his voice.

“Don’t, don’t say that,” Astrid pleaded, “you’re married now, you must stay true to your wife.”

Erik nodded, his pretty eyes were sad, “I always imagined that we’d run away together.”

“A sweet dream, but a dream nonetheless,” Astrid nodded as the music came to a stop, “well, farewell.”

“Farewell, Your Grace,” he bowed his head, bringing her head up to his lips, kissing it gently, rubbing his thumb across the skin of her wrist. Gently, Astrid took her hand from his grasp and took her leave.

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Astrid had been missing for a while now and Loki had to admit to himself that he was actually worried about her; she looked upset when she had finished dancing with Erik, the groom. She had told him that she wasn’t feeling too well and that she needed some time alone from the ceremony. At first, Loki didn’t care that she wasn’t there because he got to spend some time with Mara and that meant the most to him.

However, after a while, the young prince found himself looking over at the entrance to the grove, wondering when she would reappear. She was still missing when the bride and groom released thousands of gorgeous blue butterflies, causing the ladies of the court to gasp in delight and awe. The princess was still missing when it was time for the fire eaters to perform. He was going to find her, he said as much to Mara but he didn’t like it when Mara tried to convince him to stay. He smiled graciously at everybody as he passed and made the necessary excuses as he walked into the thicket of trees in search for the princess.

Loki hadn’t been looking for long until he walked close to the river and she was sitting there, the pale moonlight on the water. He heard her sniffle and he just knew that she’d be crying and he felt a pang in his chest, even if they didn’t talk much he still didn’t like it when someone was upset. And, he didn’t know how he was going to help Mara dispose of her mistress; he certainly did crazy things for love. But, for now he wanted to make the princess smile, she was especially lovely when she did that, it was like the sunshine itself.

He whispered the incantation and the golden butterflies appeared in the air – he wasn’t able to make real life butterflies appear yet so golden butterflies made out of shimmering fairy dust had to do. Astrid made a noise of delight as the butterflies swarmed around her head, giggling as one landed on her nose. When she turned to see where the butterflies were coming from she smiled when she saw Loki, her smile was laced with surprise. As Loki cautiously made his way over to her he noticed that her eyes were red and glassy.

“You missed the butterfly releasing,” Loki started, somewhat awkwardly, “and as crazy as it sounds I wanted to cheer you up.”

“Thanks Loki,” she whispered and patted the grass next to her, “were the butterflies they released as pretty as yours?” she smiled as the butterflies formed a crown in her hair.

“They were blue,” Loki offered as he sat down on the grass, “are you alright?” he asked.

Astrid shrugged with a sad smile as her fingers played with her long hair, he didn’t exactly know why she was upset but he could make a good guess, “I don’t really know how to feel right now, thank you for coming to see if I was alright,” she smiled, nudging her shoulder against his.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled and an idea popped into his head and he knew it would make her smile, “when I was a child my mother used to tell me a story about a princess. She was the princess of love and beauty, kind to everybody, even those that were below her. She was loved back – maybe always not in the way she wanted – and her kingdom had peace for evermore and she was remembered as the May Queen for the flowers that grew at her feet,” he nodded at the hem of her dress where flowers had been sewn, “and the butterflies in her hair.”

Astrid chewed her lip and looked at the grass, biting her lip and Loki just knew that she was trying to conceal a grin. After a beat, she looked up at him, pure joy reflected in her eyes and Loki felt proud, “your mother told you that story did she?”

“She absolutely did,” Loki nodded with a cheeky grin.

“I believe you,” she joked in a tone that implied that she didn’t and she rested her head against Loki’s shoulder – it was a surprise to everyone – she was so close that he could smell the perfume in her hair, “thank you Loki. The May Queen has a nice tone to it.”

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@theonelittleone @void-imaginations

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cdc1345711 · 3 years

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OC Story: Academy Days 1

(Chip proposed to his Girlfriend Ari before the New Year awaiting their wedding in February of 2021 and despite what everyone says Chip is Romantic and what better way to show it than to Ari's job at Mandrake University as he steps out his car and checks the Directions on his Phone)

Chip:Mandrake Academy? Yep this is the place....now the effort of finding Ari's Office......oi vey"

(He searched around asking Students while inside Ari was hanging in the lounge with her fellow educators)

Ari:(Putting Creamer in her Coffee)Another Day Another Dollar or at least that's what the Board Says"

Owlferd:(Anthropology Teacher and Owl)I agree Ari least you're shift hasn't started yet"

Ari:It did but I got no clients till after Lunch"

Wanda:(Coed Coach/Entomology Teacher Wasp)My class is about to start....damn early risers"

Ari:Just like High School"

Connie:(Cone Headed Honors Science)Except most of the Students look like they're Held back a couple of years"

(Everyone laughs)

Wanda:So......anyone going to the Headmasters Party tonight?"

Owlferd:Only downside of Tenure of I got to go hohoho it's no trouble for me it's just my Husband doesn't wear much Formal Attire"

Connie:Speaking of 'Husbands' when are we gonna meet yours Ari"

Ari:First off Not my Husband YET we're engaged Second He's very busy and isn't a Formal Fellow as well"

Wanda:That so? Or is he fake?"

Ari:Not Fake he's real"

Wanda:Sure(says sarcastically)"

Moe:(Lorologist aka Primate Guy who studies lore comes in making a dash for the Coffee)Coffee coffee coffee need it......(gets his cup)"

Wanda:You okay Beu?"

Moe:Classes about to start and I SWEAR to every Gods if someone asks me another Eldritch Question I might bash my head in.....(takes a deep breath and exhales calming down)so what I miss?"

Owlferd:We're talking about the existance of Ari's Fiance"

Moe:Seriously? What are we in Middle School?"

Ari:Thank You Moe"

Moe:It's up there with 'My Boyfriend who lives in Canada' and 'My BF is my Cat'"

Ari:Okay that last one isn't real"

Connie:Like your Fiance...."

Ari:HE'S REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Owlferd:Well Ari you never showed us a picture of him......"

Wanda:Hell you Never gave us his name"

Ari:Well......its because we want our private life to be uuuh whats the word umm.....Private"

(Everyone Stares)

Ari:Alright......his name is Chip"

Moe:The Psychotic Metal Organic?"

Ari:He's more Sociopathic than Psychotic"

(Everyone looks at each other and all laugh)

Wanda:Seriously the Greatest Assassin ever is marrying you?"

Ari:Mmmmm"

(Bell Rings)

Moe:Time to Work.....we'll pick off later(phone ding)huh?(looks at it)oh shit turns out some Bearded Weirdo is on Campus"

Wanda:That......narrows it down to most of the Students here"

Moe:But he's not a student....probably just a Homeless Guy snuck in....again"

Owlferd:3rd time this week by my count"

Ari:Well if anything Security might catch him"

(Back to Chip he so far hasn't found anyone who knows where Ari's Office is until he stops to asks some Stoners)

Chip:Yo Potheads....."

Stoner 1 Grass Guy:Whoa man this is medicinal..."

Chip:Grass smoking Grass? Either Charles Coburn thinks this is original or he's REALLY bad at being funny"

Stoner 2:Whuuuut?"

Chip:Nothing anyone here knows a Miss Ari Zira? Or more importantly the location of her Office?"

Stoner 3:No"

Stoner 1:Why so you can Narc on us Fascist?"

Chip:I really don't give a shit I just.....wait those Grade A Mary Jay?"

Stoner 2:Yeah man....."

Stoner 1:We'd share but we don't share with cops...."

Chip:Not a cop just trying to find my Soon to be Wife"

Stoner 3:Likely story.....NARC!!!!!"

Chip:(Whispers as he face palms)Jesus Fucking Christ looks Shaggy Scooby and Dooby either you tell me where Your Psychologist is or I'm taking all your Weed"

Stoner 1:You and what Army man?"

(Chip just looks straight for a moment and in the next scene he's walking away with a box of Doobies whistling....how he can whistle without a mouth don't ask me bub it's my story-speaking of.....as he walks off he's stopped by a Axe Headed Guy A Gorilla and a Coyote)

Konk:Freeze you the Bearded Weirdo walking around the University?"

(Chip just looks at him confused)

Hatchet:Sorry there is like a billion Bearded Weirdos here....must of asked 50 people to show us their student ID"

Chip:Well.......Im not a student I'm just a Guy holding this Doobies I snagged from a couple of pot smoking retards...."

Colty:WAIT......that Pure Marijuana?"

(Chip eye widens......next minute everybody is smokin the Weed)

Konk:Man....they don't make this shit like this anymore...."

Chip:Very few thing my People can feel honestly"

Hatchet:So....why you here Chip?"

Chip:Surprise Visiting my Wife Ari Zira....."

Konk:The University Psychologist?"

Chip:Thank FUCKING God someone knows her"

Colty:Course we know her....helped me get over my Issues with my Mom"

Hatchet:Helped me get in touch in my inner self"

Konk:Helped me overcome my homicidal anger by finally coming out of the closet as a self confidant Bisexual Man"

(Everyone looks at him)

Konk:Yep I'm Bi(Changed subject)So you want us to help you find your Girl?"

Chip:Be Appreciated....."

Konk:Then let's go...."

(Other side Ari is visited by the Vice Headmaster Todd the Fox)

Todd:Ari how is the School's Best Psychologist?"

Ari:Kinda meh Morning but I'm better now. And you Vice Headmaster?"

Todd:Well.......I'M FREAKING OUT!!!!!!"THERE'S ANOTHER WEIRDO IN OUR CAMPUS......what if he's armed"

Ari:You shouldn't judge that person....for all we know he or she is probably hungry and as decent beings we should not be fearful but helpful towards the poor soul"

Todd:And THAT Ari is proof of your Tenure"

Ari:See there....wait SERIOUSLY???"

Todd:YES"

(Both Squeal in excitement but quickly calm down)

Ari:Finally I've worked hard for Tenure....."

Todd:And you deserve it a lot....(looks at the clock)oooh almost lunch care to join me?"

Ari:Why not?"

(The 2 leave for Lunch while Chip bonds with the Security Team)

Chip:This Campus has a BAR?"

Colty:Yeah it's called Barsco it's run by our Friend Rosco....if you plan to stay longer we can take you there"

Chip:Really?"

Hatchet:He has booze for everybody Even Lighter Fluid and Gasoline for Metal Organics"

Chip:Sounds like my kinda Guy"

Konk:Yo wanna get some grub first I'm hungry...."

Hatchet:Munchies Man....."

Chip:They're a Cunt"

(As they Chat Ari and Todd were walking to the Cafeteria as they bump into......)

Ari/Todd:MR.MANDERS?"

Mr.Manders:Hoho Hello Todd and Ari....(he's holding a tray of A Burger Tater Tots and a Sparkling Ice)Just in luck they're serving Bean Burgers my Favorite...."

Ari:That's great Headmaster...."

Mr.Manders:So Ari can I expect to see you at my Party tonight?"

Ari:Oh idk Sir I gotta check my schedule to see if it's not booked"

Mr.Manders:Oh I understand Duties come first you know....btw have you heard the news?"

Ari:No Sir(she lies thinking he's about to say she's getting Tenure which will up her pay making sure to help Chip with their Wedding)what is it?"

(Gestures them to move forward as they do and whispers to them)

Mr.Manders:The Security team found the Bearded Fellow who snuck in on Campus....."

Ari:Oh(feeling a bit dissappointed)well least they got him out safely"

Mr.Manders:Actually they didn't...."

Todd:They beat him up?"

Mr.Manders:No....hes still here"

(They turn to see the cart)

Ari:(In Horror)Oh No"

Chip:ARI!!!!!!(walks up and hugs her)Been trying to find you all damn day so far none of the students know your office....I had to beat up a bunch of Stoners as I 'took' their Cush and met my New Best Friends right here"

Konk/Hatchet/Colty: Hi Ari"

Ari:Hi Boys(to Chip)Why are you here....'Honey'?"

Chip:I wanted to surprise you by Romantically coming to your work"

MrMander:Mhmm(coughs as the Other Faculty joins in)Ari mind introducing us to your friend"

Ari:(Gulps)Right Mr.Manders Todd and Everyone this is Chip my Fiance....."

Wanda:(Whispers)Holy Shit she wasn't lying"

Todd:Well even though it's nice to meet you Mr......Chip was it? You are however tresspassing on University grounds"

Chip:Don't get your Panties in a twist Nick Wilde I'm here for Ari"

Todd:Why I never...."

(Just then someones bag was stolen)

Girl:HELP!!!!!"

Mr.Manders:THIEF!!!!!!"

Todd:Quick securi....."

(And in a flash Chip catches the thief and pummels him as he realizes....)

Chip:Holy Shit you're the Stoner Kid"

Stoner 1:You stole my livelihood man....gad to earn green somehow...."

Chip:Yeah yeah....(knocks him out)"

Mr.Manders:(Clapping)My My what skills you were amazing"

Chip:Twas nothing sir"

Mr.Manders:'Twas' ooh Ari your Future Husband is quite a sophisticant"

Chip:I try...."

Mr.Manders:Would you like to come to my Party Tonight? It's to Celebrate the Anniversary of our University being the first to integrate Metal Organics it will be catered and I'll announce a New Tunre Employee"

Chip:Huh can't say no to that plus free dinner I'll be there"

Mr.Manders:Oh Splendid"

Moe:Uuuuh Ari......"

Wasp:You okay Girl?"

Ari:(Grinding her teeth and says angrily)Never......Better"

Chip:Hey Hon I'm gonna start getting ready see you at home(kisses her cheek)"

Owlferd:Nice Bod...nothing on my Man though"

(Night of the Party And Chip and Ari are wearing their Best Formal Clothes)

Chip:Hmmm Swanky"

Ari:(Stops him)Look Chip this is not just some fancy party by your Rich Friends or by the Lewd Crew this is my Job with my Coworkers and Boss so please please PLEASE be on your best behavior alright?"

Chip:(Looks straight at her)Okay what's up you're really on edge?"

Ari:I'm not on edge it's nothing...."

Chip:Let's cut the Bullshit Ari you know we're on the same scale when it comes to smarts"

Ari:Dammit alright.....I...I was told I might get Tenure...by Todd...."

Chip:Fox Boy? Okay(thinking of something)"

(They Enter and Ari meets up with Wanda and Moe)

Ari:Hello Everyone....Wanda Nice sashes"

Wanda:Thanks Bug People don't usually wear clothes but even we can look pretty"

Chip:Nice Suit"

Moe:Right back at ya"

Konk:HEY CHIP"

Chip:KONK you made it"

Konk:Wouldn't miss it"

Chip:Where are the rest of the Guys?"

Konk:At Barscos. They ain't the Formal Types"

Chip:Heh the more I know about them the More I like them"

Owlferd:Hoohoo Hello Ari(accompanied by his Husband)Chip this is my Husband....."

Chip:BASILISK......"

Basilisk:CHIP......"

Chip:You old Son of a Bitch"

Owlferd:Seems you both know each other"

Chip:Shared a Mission once his Eyes of Penance whew Powerful Shit"

Basilisk:Had to be to stop those Humanoids....(to Owlferd)Later Hon"

Todd:(With his Rabbit GF Lydia)Ari hi...."

Chip:('Hmm guess I was wrong')Bunny GF? Goddamn you are Nick Wilde"

lydia:He tries"

Todd:Hopefully things go smoothly without(looks at Chip)interruptions"

Chip:(Just Grunts)"

Mr.Manders:(On Stage)Good to see all you lovely faces here Tonight"

Konk:This will take a while(drinks his flask)want some?"

Chip:Can't taste booze but what the Hell(drinks some) anyone else?"

Moe:Yo"

Mr.Manders:My Grandfather Founded this University in 1945 and My Father was the first to integrate with Metal Organics in 1958..."

Chip:Apparently his Family has a Jesus complex.....which Ironic for me...."

Wanda:How come?"

(Chip reveals his Star of David Necklace)

Wanda:Oh okay"

Mr.Manders:Now without further adieu our new Tenure is.......Ari Zira"

Ari:YES.....I mean yes"

Todd:Yay Ari"

Wanda:You go Girl"

Mr.Manders:Congratulations Ari and I'm also proud to pronounce our newest employee...."

Ari:What......"

Mr.Manders:I was impressed with his skills this morning and while he left to prepare for Tonight I asked him......would you like to be in our University's Security....followed by his yes.....Mr.Chip Cosmas"

Ari:Que..?"

Chip:Wanted it to be a surprise....now we can see more of each other"

Ari:But....your Assassin Business....the Training of the Next Warriors?"

Chip:I thought of spending more time with my Future Wife...."

Ari:Oooh(walks up to the drinks and start drinking)"

Chip:Why she upset? She got Tenure"

Todd:You really can't see it can you?"

Chip:You got something to say say it Foxy"

Todd:I doubt you can grasp it"

Chip:(Wanting to punch but holds back)Not worth it"

Todd:Good to hold back Huh Meto....."

(Chip heard what he said and as quick as lightning punches Todd slamming him on the table)

Ari:What the Hell?"

(Todd tried to fight back but Chip was better as he beat Todd up)

Ari:CHIP STOP IT....STOP IT NOW(holds him off)You seriously can't go one night without being an Angry Animal can you not even for me? And to my friend and Coworker?"

Chip:Ari you don't understand....."

Ari:What I don't understand is why you couldn't do this one thing ONE FUCKING THING for me....just NOT BE YOU!!!!!"

Chip:Ari he's trying to get with you.....by making me the bad guy"

Todd:What? No I'm not Ari is my Friend and I love Lydia you psycho....."

(And as Chip heard his Voice his words were true)

Chip:Then why where you an Asshole to me?"

Todd:Because you're image isn't right for Ari....shes sophisticated and intelligent but you're a Violent Monster....."

Chip:You don't know a Fucking thing about me.....Ari...."

Ari:Chip please.....I just.....dont wanna see you now....(she cries)"

(Chip leaves looking back and Konk goes to Ari saying)

Konk:He had another reason Ari....."

(At Barscos the Campus Bar Chip is drowning his sorrows in Arsenic and Gin)

Chip:Another Round....."

Rosco:Sure Pal.....(puts in the Lighter Fluid Soda Water and Gin)"

Chip:Leave the Cannister"

Rosco:Whoa Bud I can't just(Chip stares at him angrily) eh Fuck it(leaves the Lighter Fluid)"

(Second later Ari shows up and sits next to Chip)

Chip:Hey....."

Ari:Hey........"

Chip:I really Fucked shit up didn't I?"

Ari:Yes......."

Chip:Guess I'm fired?"

Ari:Could've......"

Chip:What?"

Ari:Konk told me what Todd said to make you Angry......seems I was the one who Fucked Shit Up in a metaphorical sense...."

Chip:You were caught in a misunderstanding that's all.....didn't mean your were wrong....I got Angry and beat the living shit out of your friends at work......"

Ari:Well after he used that Racist Slur He's knocked down a few pegs.....sigh it was true I thought you'd jeopardize my chances of Tenure"

Chip:Why you so hellbent on this Tenure Shit?"

Ari:It's because....I wanted the pay bonus to help pay for our wedding"

Chip:Ari I said I got it...."

Ari:Chip we're about to spend our lives together....that means we're a team and we should be there for each other"

Chip:Hmm......that Fox was right about one thing....you're smart as Fuck"

(Mr.Manders arrives)

Chip:Oh Headmaster.....sorry for earlier....I lost my shit"

Mr.Manders:I heard what Todd said he's taking a HR Seminar so he can be more open minded as for the party well.....since the Gym is a mess(the Caterers come in with the Food)Guess we can move it to this fine Bar...with Owner's permission"

Rosco:Got my Approval Boss"

(And so the night that started off unexpected turned into something better as Chip and Ari's Bonds grew stronger for it. The Next Day)

Ari:Ready for your First day?"

Chip:Hell Yeah I am(Walks to the Security Office and looks around ready for this New Chapter in his Life"

THE END

#ocs #chip #ari #OC Stories #Mandrake University Days

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