The writeblr side of my dash is pretty inactive, so please interact with this post if you're an active writing blog! My main is over at @brw, so that's where follows will be coming from :)
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Shadow of Death - Modern AU - Burned Toast
Another piece I wrote for the Whumplovers Collaborate gift exchange! This is a married modern Brumaria fic.
Kane and Bruno (mentioned) belong to Izzy.
Taglist: @painful-pooch , @sssunshinebreeze
Contains: lady whump, panic attack, flashbacks, fire, burns, referenced parental death, referenced murder, referenced guns, implied past noncon, referenced gang violence, PTSD, service dog
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āWhat do you think, Shadi? Can I manage to make eggs and toast without causing any disasters?ā Kamaria shuts the refrigerator door and turns to look at the American Akita, whoās sitting at attention with her head tilted to one side. āRight, I know. You just want your own food.ā
Opening a cabinet and pulling out a can of dog food, she sighs and shakes her head at herself. Bruno has rubbed off on her when it comes to the pets, talking to them like they can understand. If her father could see her now, carrying on a conversation with a dogā¦heād probably declare her incompetent and shoot her on the spot.Ā
But heās not here. Never will be again. And just to spite him, as she sets the bowl of food on the floor she declares, āThere you go. At least we know I can handle that kind of food prep.ā
She turns her attention back to her own dinner, getting out the eggs and the bread and other necessary supplies - stopping to think before remembering she needs to grease the skillet. Sheās made that mistake once, and doesnāt care to repeat it.Ā
Bruno has been trying his best to teach her how to not be so completely hopeless in the kitchen. She feels stupid every time she sets foot in the room. She didnāt even know the most basic things when they first started, like how to use an oven or stove. Not that itās her fault, as a child her mom had to work and wasnāt around to do much cooking, and for the next fourteen years at the gangās headquarters she wasnāt allowed to step foot in the kitchen and subsisted off of whatever shelf-stable items she could steal and hide underneath her bed.Ā
But she doesnāt like not knowing things. Knowledge is power. Knowledge can keep you alive.
Right now Bruno isnāt here, heād taken his German Shepherd, Dante, and reluctantly left this morning for a short business trip. So feeding herself is entirely up to her for the first time since they got married, and she promised him she wouldnāt resort to the cans of cold beans and granola bars she used to live on. Sheās done eggs before, though. They werenāt pretty, but they were edible. And toast isnāt hard, now that she knows not to trust the pictures on the dial of how black she wants it to end up.Ā
Or at least, toast shouldnāt be hard. Except that in the midst of focusing hard on getting the eggs right, she glances over at the toaster oven and something inside is on fire.
Sheāll blame her reaction later on the fact that itās unexpected. After all, it isnāt even that big of a fire, not much more than a candle flame, and she can handle those as long as she doesnāt stare at them. But toast isnāt supposed to catch on fire.Ā
Her heart immediately leaps into overdrive and she abandons the pan of eggs, diving toward the toaster. She has to fix it before it gets worse. She canāt let it grow, fire is so unpredictable, canāt let it take anythingā¦
Instinctively, she throws open the oven door, but itās the wrong move. The influx of oxygen makes the small flame flare to life, engulfing the bread inside and shooting out to lick at her hand.Ā
Kamaria launches herself backwards, her spine slamming into the counter across the small kitchen. Suddenly sheās breathing too much and not enough all at the same time.Ā
No no no no no no
She grips her burned hand tightly, but her shoulder hurts even worse.Ā
The ceiling crumbles over her head, chunks of glowing orange showering down around her
Itās not real. Itās not real, she needs to get a grip on herself, but the flames are still there, right in front of her, and she can smell the burning.
Smoke clogs her lungs, she canāt breathe
Her chest aches. She doubles over forward, clenching her eyes shut, but the flames only multiply in the darkness.
Itās everywhere, covering every wall, leaping out at her as she stumbles through the hall and down the stairs
The smoke alarm starts screaming somewhere overhead. Kamaria lets out a strangled cry and crumples to the floor, shoving herself backwards against the cabinets and burying her head in her arms.Ā
She canāt find her momĀ
Strangers are in her house, snatching her up and running outside, but theyāre not her mom, she needs her mom
The whole world is on fire, thereās fighting everywhere, sheās screaming and crying but across the street her neighbors are dying, bleeding on the pavement
A man with a gun throws a woman onto the ground and straddles her
It wonāt stop. It just wonāt stop. Shadi is trying her best, licking and nudging, but the memories just keep coming.
Kaneās laughing face leaning in close to hers, his hand wrapped around her throat
Taunts in her ear of how worthless she is
The fire is everywhereĀ
Fingers carve burning paths through her skin, touching, always touching
A loud bark in her ear jolts her back to the present. Kamariaās eyes go wide and she gasps in a hoarse breath, taking everything in. The alarm is still blaring, threatening to drag her back under, but she canāt see fire anymore, just a stream of smoke and a burned smell permeating the air.Ā
Shadi starts licking her arm, doing whatever she can to make sure her owner stays alert now that sheās gotten her back. Which is good, because the images are still pressing at the edges of her mind. She can still feel his hands on her, still feels like sheās choking.Ā
āShad-ā¦ā She tries to force the command out past the phantom fingers digging into her throat, panting in between each word. āShadiā¦search.ā
Immediately the dog is off like a rocket, checking every corner of every room in the house for intruders. Kamaria squeezes her eyes shut, then opens them again, trying to figure out the best way to keep herself from slipping until Shadi gets back to help.
She knows thereās no one here. Just like she knows that the night the gang burned her neighborhood was ages ago, and that Kane is long gone, and that the fire and her captivity at his hands were completely separate events divided by seventeen years.Ā
But sheās learned by now that the trauma - she still hates calling it that - doesnāt care about those details. That doesnāt mean the nonsense that she feels doesnāt make her angry, because it does. She wants to be over this by now. She wants her brain to stop making her think things that canāt possibly be true, to stop mixing up and linking events for no reason.Ā
She also wants to stop thinking about how Roderick would use all of this against her if she was still back there, how maybe he and her father were right not to let her near the kitchen, how the former Shadow of Death shouldnāt be crying on the kitchen floor because she burned her finger.Ā
Shadi returns and sits next to her, ears perked as she waits for her next instruction. All clear. The house is safe. Thereās no Kane, no Roderick, no other gang members lurking.Ā
Her next breath comes a bit easier. āLap.āĀ
The dog immediately settles across her legs, still looking up at her eagerly. She isnāt trained to offer grounding pressure automatically in these situations, because Kamaria doesnāt respond well to being touched during or right after a flashback. But right now she thinks sheās ready for it. The hand that didnāt get burned begins stroking the soft fur, from head to tail, over and over in a soothing rhythm.
It isnāt even that bad of a burn. She glances briefly at it, and the skin is slightly pink but nothing like her other burns. It wonāt leave a scar. Her shoulder still hurts worse than anything, and thatās just phantom pain that will hopefully ease soon.Ā
For a long time she just sits there, focusing on her breathing and the feeling of Shadiās fur beneath her fingers. The smoke alarm cuts off right after the dogās return, and she relaxes into the silence. Thereās no fire, and no Kane. Sheās safe. Bruno isnāt here, but heās safe, too, and heāll be back tomorrow.
Drawing in a deep breath, she pushes to her feet, Shadi jumping up and standing at attention. āIām alright, girl,ā Kamaria murmurs. Her head spins a little, and her legs feel shaky and half numb, but the worst of everything has passed. She purposely ignores the toaster oven for now. Sheāll deal with it later. Her eggs are fried to a blackened crisp that smells horrendous, and she doesnāt want to deal with that right now, either, so she just flips the burner off and tosses the whole skillet, eggs and all, into the sink. Sheās not sure the skillet will ever be the same again, anyway.Ā
Still leaning against the cabinet for extra support, she turns to look at Shadi, who has relaxed just a little but is still watching her. āSoā¦itās a hard no on the eggs and toast.ā She glances at the upper cabinet next to her. āThink Bruno will be too mad if I have a granola bar for dinner?ā
She knows he wonāt. The man couldnāt truly be mad at her if his life depended on it, and once he finds out what happened heāll fully understand. She should probably call him now, actually, heāll want to know and it will help erase the last of the jittery feeling in her chest.Ā
So she takes her granola bar and goes into the living room, curling into a corner of the couch with Shadi tucking herself in right beside her. She turns on the tv to a classical music station for some background noise so that she doesnāt start hearing noises that arenāt there, and taps Brunoās name in the recent calls on her phone.
A soft smile spreads across her face as soon as she hears his voice in her ear, the last of the tension easing from her shoulders. āHey, hon. Iāmā¦Iām good. I just, uhā¦thought Iād let you know that Iām never making toast againā¦ā
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OC List:
Lainey and Isa
Whumpees:
Lainey
(Picrew: djarn)
She had a good life - family, boyfriend, job at a cute bookshop. But she also has magic, and not everyone is okay with that. So now she's trapped in a man's basement, trying her best to keep hope alive for both herself and the girl who was a stranger before all this started, and looking for a chance for them both to escape.
āā
Isabela
(Picrew: djarn)
Five years ago, she was snatched away from her family and friends and locked away by a man who hates people with magic. Ever since then, she's gone through countless horrors all on her own. But she's not alone anymore. Now she has someone else stuck here with her, and she's not sure if the hope that Lainey's optimism brings makes their situation better or worse.
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Whumper:
Sir
Lainey and Isa might not know his name, but his thoughts about them are clear - he's determined to both punish them for their magic, and figure out a way to cleanse them of it.
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I think I did this right!
My words: whisper, leave, felt, bridge
Your words: shock, red, tear, clear
Tagging with no pressure: @inscrutable-shadow , @aprilwaters , @emcscared-whumps , @whumperofworlds , @paintedpigeon1 , and anyone else who wants to join!
Whisper - "Lainey and Isa"
And worst of allā¦Isaās right. Itās been too long. They should have been here by now. Except she doesnāt know that for sure, and she keeps trying to remind herself that sheās clueless about time right now and she doesnāt know what all they might have to do first that might hold them up. But thereās this pit in her gut, a whisper in her mind saying that she just experienced two full days outside, she should know what it feels like.Ā
Leave - "The Shadow of Death (Soldier Boy AU)"
He charges, and she instinctively swerves before forcing herself to stop again. The sooner she allows him to get it over with, the sooner heāll leave her alone. So she stays still while he decks her across the face, while he holds her by her hair and punches her in the ribs and stomach over and over, while he slings her at the wall, knocks her down, and begins to kick her again. The only thing she does to defend herself is cover her head with her arms and tuck her knees to her chest.
Felt - "Querencia"
At last she pulls away, trying not to breathe too hard from the exertion. The invisible wound through her ribcage is worse than anything sheās felt before, like molten lava was poured inside of her. If she moves too much in any direction, itās sure to flare, and sheās not sure if sheāll be able to keep from passing out. As it is, sheās struggling not to press her hand to the spot.
Bridge - "Black, Yellow, Blue, Green, Orange, Pink...Red"
āAh. Here we are. This gathering of dots here is, of course, all of us, together on the bridge. And Number Fourās dot isā¦ā Coran purses his lips, spinning and tilting the model around. āThere!ā He points to the single, lonely red dot, much farther down in the ship than they are. āHm. He appears to be in one of the utility rooms. Itās usually only accessed for maintenance purposes.ā
Word Find Tag
Thank you @kaylinalexanderbooks and @sleepywriter00 for the tags! Posts here.
My words: habit, presence, hate, owe | conceptual, burning, tease, dread
Your words: whisper, leave, felt, bridge
I'm going to leave this an open tag today. āØ
From The Prince of Thieves:
Habit
An old habit of hers remainsāshe pulls with a gentle, light-as-air touch at one of my curls, stretching it and watching it spring back with vigour.
Presence
She is heedless of my presence in her slumber, yet she twitches as if the thud of every metallic footfall reaches her in her dreams.
Hate
I nod, afraid to say a word and ruin this moment, this moment from a nightmare that is sweetened only by the fact that after everything, he has decided not to hate me after all.
Owe
āJust remember this, Miss Cooper: I owe you nothing.ā
Burning
āI saw you burning that little note the other night, you know.ā
Tease
āOoh. It can be taught,ā Jamie teased, and Will glared at him, pulling off one of his noxious socks and lobbing it across the room.
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Siren - Marked
Here's another piece from the Whumplovers Collaborate gift exchange! This is much further along in Siren's story than the last piece I posted, taking place after she's been training for quite some time.
Masterlist
Contains: lady whump, living weapon, conditioned whumpee, branding, restraints, non-sexual partial nudity, dehumanization, muzzle, superpowered whumpee, referenced corporal punishment, brief ableism, collar, ASL user
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Siren had never been in this room before. A guard had come to her cell, like they normally did for training or for corrections, and brought her here, but she didnāt know yet what was going to happen. She hoped it was training. She didnāt think sheād done anything bad to need a correction, and she was so close to finishing her training.
So close to being a true weapon, to being ready for her handlers to use however they needed her. It would happen any day now, she was sure of it. She wanted it so badly. Theyād be so pleased with her, and sheād get to go outsideā¦
But she wasnāt supposed to want. That was one of the lessons she was still trying to learn, that she had to learn if she was really going to be a good weapon. She wasnāt allowed to want things, that was only for people, not weapons.
So she stood still against the wall, hands at her sides like they should be, and tried to make her thoughts quiet while she waited.
It was a long time before the door opened, but she was used to being alone with nothing to do for a long time. She didnāt know the man who came in. Her thoughts immediately came back to life, with all kinds of questions about who he was and what he was going to do with her. Was he a handler? A trainer? Was he new, or was this something new she was going to get to do?Ā
Questions were not for weapons, though, so they all stayed safely inside her head where no one else could know them.
The man paused inside the door, and she could feel his eyes on her, though she kept her chin tilted down just like she should. āHm. You must beā¦ā He looked at a paper in his hand. āCodename: Siren.ā The paper dropped to his side as he stared at her some more. āWhy donāt they have you muzzled?ā
Immediately, she lifted her hands to sign an answer. Questions from trainers and handlers had to be answered quickly and truthfully, always. āI am not required to wear a muzzle anymore, except during some corrections.ā That had taken a very long time to get used to, after wearing one all the time for as long as she could remember, but she obeyed so well now that her handlers trusted her without it.Ā
Not that she ever used her voice before that, anyway. She didnāt like hurting people. That was her job now, but she still didnāt really like that part of it.Ā
Her first owners didnāt care about that, though. They didnāt trust her no matter how good she was for them.
The handler waved the paper at her. āI donāt understand that motioning nonsense, and it was a rhetorical question, anyway. Youāll wear a muzzle here with me. I donāt care what their rules for you are.ā
Oh. He was one of the ones who didnāt understand her signs. There were several of those, so it wasnāt new, but it always gave her that feeling in her stomach that she didnāt like. Almost as if she was a monster again, back before she knew sign, back when she couldnāt talk to anybody at all.Ā
Andā¦he was going to muzzle her. Did that mean this was a correction? Her heart started beating a little faster.Ā
Walking across the room, the handler set down his papers and opened a cabinet, coming back toward her a moment later with a muzzle just like her normal one in his hand. She tipped her head up toward him without needing to be asked, keeping her eyes down. The muzzle slid into place, locking her jaw tightly, and the handler tugged the strap on the back of her head a little harder than most did so that the edges dug slightly into her face.Ā
He then pulled a familiar remote from his pocket, and all of Sirenās muscles tensed. She was being so good, she hadnāt done anything wrong since heād been in here, she was standing still just like she should and sheād answered his question even though he couldnāt understand herā¦
She was braced for the pain, but it didnāt come. All he did was check the remote, then run a finger underneath her collar, adjusting the metal prongs that pressed into her skin.Ā
āDonāt make me have to use this,ā he ordered, pocketing the remote. āI will if I have to, but if you mess up my work you will be very sorry.ā
Still tense, Siren nodded quickly. Her hands ached to sign the, āYes, sir,ā that was normally expected of her, but she didnāt think this handler would want that.
He walked away, disappearing into the corner, and she didnāt dare turn her head to see what he was doing. There was a clanking sound, and she almost thought she felt heat from that side. She swallowed and took a couple of deep breaths, in and out. Any possible excitement sheād felt before he got here was completely gone. All she felt now was a nervous desire to know what was about to happen.
It took a few minutes before he said anything else. āShirt off.ā
She obeyed immediately. Obeying orders like that wasnāt something she had to think about anymore, not after all this time and all of the training that sheād been through. That didnāt mean that her thoughts werenāt spinning, though, trying to figure out his plans.Ā
Why did he need her shirt off? That normally meant she was going to get corrected. Whipped.Ā
But no one had said anything about a correction. Maybe it was something different. Maybe a new uniform? They had her change sometimes, theyād even measured her not long ago. This could have something to do with that.
She set her shirt neatly to the side and returned to standing against the wall. Another minute passed, and the handler walked back into view, this time not holding anything.Ā
āStep forward, hands out.ā
Again, she obeyed, trying to calm her racing heart and mind.
He reached over and pulled a handle on the wall, and a chain with cuffs on the end lowered from the ceiling just in front of her. Sirenās thoughts came to a sudden halt. She stood perfectly still, allowing him to lock the cuffs around her outstretched wrists, but all of her focus was on keeping her face blank and unmoving.Ā
She was being restrained. That was exactly what sheād feared. Butā¦that meant she really was being corrected. And she didnāt know what sheād done wrong.
She usually knew. It was usually obvious, and if it wasnāt, her handlers would tell her. But this man wasnāt telling her anything, and no matter how much she desperately searched her memories, she couldnāt come up with a reason.Ā
What had she done wrong? She thought sheād been so good.
The man pulled the handle again and the chain started going back up, taking her hands with it until they were up above her head. He stopped it before she was stretched any further, though. Often if she was hung from chains, they would leave her on her tiptoes, or not touching the floor at all. Right now her feet were still flat. It was much more comfortable than usual, but she barely noticed.
He still wasnāt telling her anything. That was okay, though. Right? It was good. She was a weapon, she didnāt have to know things. The handlers only told her what she needed to know to do her job. She wasnāt sure how she was supposed to learn to do better if she wasnāt told what sheād done wrong, but that wasnāt her place to wonder, either.Ā
Sheād just stay awake in her cell later, thinking of every single thing sheād done lately until she figured it out herself.
He walked to the corner again, leaving her there, and she felt that wave of heat once more. āYou must be very, very still for this. No moving, and absolutely no screaming. As I said, if you mess this up, Iāll have to do it again and youāll be corrected.ā
Siren nodded, even though she wasnāt sure if he was looking. No moving and no screaming. Whatever was coming was going to hurt, that was obvious. But sheād done this many times before. Her trainers had made sure that she could take all kinds of pain well.Ā
Her chest shuddered slightly as she drew in the warm, moist air inside the muzzle, but the next breath was stronger. She was a weapon. She could do this.
The man came closer, and the heat followed him. Siren was gripped with a sudden memory of the time hot water had been poured over her arm as part of a training session. The skin there was still a different color than the rest.Ā
But this was not water he was carrying. It was a rod, with a larger piece on one end. She couldnāt make out what the shape of the piece was, she was far too focused on the way it glowed a bright yellow, the air around it wavering with the heat that came off of it.
āStay still,ā he ordered one more time. Then he pressed the glowing hot end into her side.
Bright white light flashed across her vision. Everything around her disappeared, her world narrowed down to just the pain burning through her, eating away at her skin. She didnāt know if she moved. The only part of her body that existed was the part that was on fire. It spread across her stomach and up her ribs, everything too hot, sizzling, choking her with its smell, until the spot where the rod remained felt intensely cold in comparison.
She didnāt scream, though. That part she was sure of. Her voice was still carefully locked inside of her, never ever to be used without a handlerās permission.Ā
Eventually, the room faded back in. The handler and the rod werenāt even there anymore. Siren gasped in a breath, and it felt like the first sheād taken in hours. Her side throbbed in time to her heartbeat.
Her wrists ached, too, almost unnoticeable next to the other pain, but enough to make her realize that she was dangling from them, legs no longer supporting her. So she had moved. Sheād disobeyed. She hadnāt meant to, but that wasnāt important.
The handler came back, without the rod, as she was standing back up. He leaned over to inspect her side, fingers prodding at the edges of the burn. Siren stopped breathing as everything went white again for a moment.
āHm.ā He straightened back up, still looking at her side. āYou did well enough that I wonāt have to redo it. Your handlers can decide whether or not they want to correct you for anything.ā
Before she could fully process that, he moved the handle on the wall again and the chain holding up her hands loosened. Unprepared for the change, she buckled. Her side screamed in pain with the movement. She was too busy panicking to pay much attention to it this time, though, forcing her body to scramble back upright despite the way every move made everything so much worse. She couldnāt be on the floor. She hadnāt been given permission, she had to remain standing until she was told differently.
The handler watched her, grunting a little when she was back in position, then leaned in to release her hands. āIāll certainly be telling them about how all of this went. You need quite a bit more work, in my opinion, but weāll see. Your time will come, though, and when it does, youāll have to prove yourself worthy of this mark. It tells everyone who you belong to, so you must make sure youāre not a disappointment.ā
He turned away, grabbing his papers, as Siren let his words run through her head, trying to understand them. A moment later, he was gone. She glanced toward the door, then took a careful step back so that she was against the wall again. Her whole body trembled, and sweat coated her skin despite the fact that she was starting to shiver. She hoped very badly that sheād be allowed to rest in her cell after this, butā¦she hadnāt been completely good. She was probably going to get a correction.
Maybe it wouldnāt hurt as bad as this did.
She still wasnāt sure whether this had actually been a correction, though. Heād acted very strangely about it. Aā¦mark? That told everyone who she belonged to? Thatās what heād said.
Slowly, holding her breath, she tipped her head down to look at her side. At first all she saw was bright red lines surrounded by white, some dotted with blood. It made her stomach turn. But she kept looking at it, needing to understand, and in a moment she was able to see it.Ā
These were very specific lines, gathered in a certain shape inside a circle. She knew those lines. Sheād seen them so many times before - on the papers that the trainers and handlers sometimes carried, on doors that they passed in the hallway, on the chest of every uniform of every person sheād ever seen. And now they were on her. Burned deep into her skin, probably never to go away.Ā
It all made sense now. The papers, the doors, the uniformsā¦they belonged to her owners. She belonged to her owners. She was marked, so that everyone who saw her would know that she was their weapon.Ā
Siren let out her held breath as her confusion settled within her. The pain was still there, and she never wanted to have to go through it again. But she was glad to have the mark. It meant that she was almost ready. Not a monster anymore, but a true weapon, just like sheād worked so hard to be.Ā
She was going to be the best weapon that her owners had ever seen.
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Siren - The Monster
This is the earliest Siren piece I have written to date, created for the winter gift exchange on Whumplovers Collaborate.
Siren does not yet have a taglist, but Iām happy to make one for her if anyone is interested!
Masterlist
Contains: lady whump, dehumanization, shock collar, needles, lab setting, conditioned whumpee, restraints, muzzle, superpowered whumpee, captivity, sensory overload, panic, malnutrition
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Everything was always the same for the monster. She stayed in the cell, and people brought her food. If she moved or if they were angry, they hit her before they left. They didnāt talk to her much, except they liked to remind her that she was a monster. After two times bringing food, the lights would go off, and she would sleep. When the lights came on, she woke up and more food came. In between foods, she slept, and twisted her hair together, and practiced her hand signs that she made up in case she got to use them someday.
But then everything was not the same. The people came in, but they didnāt bring food. They brought chains to put around her wrists and ankles, and a sharp thing to push into her skin. The monster gasped because it hurt. That made the people grab her hair and pull back her head, and growl at her to behave. Behave meant to sit still and not move and not hurt anyone. Sheād figured that out all on her own, because they said it so much.
She didnāt want to hurt them, though. They always thought she was going to hurt them, but she never did. She didnāt like hurting people.Ā
She was just scared. Everything was different, and she didnāt understand why.
But she behaved, just like always. Even when her body started to feel heavy, and she couldnāt keep her eyes open, and that was not the same, either, that was not how falling asleep usually happenedā¦she still behaved.
Even when she opened her eyes again, and everything was different - a different cell, a different muzzle, different people wearing different clothes, different clothes for her - she stayed still and quiet and didnāt hurt anyone. She was so afraid that her chest hurt and the cell sometimes looked like it was moving around her, but she just watched the people come and go, and waited until she was alone again to get up and look at everything.Ā
It was the same grey floors, the same white walls, the same hard silver bed and white toilet and sink. But it was not the same. She knew her cell, sheād spent her whole life in it, and this was not her cell. The door was in a different place, and there was one less light on the ceiling, and the bed was turned sideways. The monster spent a very long time just staring at it all, trying to get used to it, amazed by the new.
Then she sat on the sideways bed again and rubbed her fingers all over the new muzzle. She knew it was different right away because it didnāt scrape her nose. The spot that was always sore was up above the muzzle now, and she rubbed her finger across it, too, over and over again, even though it hurt. Sheād never been able to touch it before.Ā
The straps were different, too, and she stuck her fingers underneath them, pulled at them, scratched them and flicked the edges. They were soft, but bumpy, and sheād never felt anything like it before.Ā
The lights on the ceiling turned off, but she didnāt sleep. She couldnāt stop touching. She had to feel all of the new things. Her thoughts were more wide awake than they had been in a very long time.Ā
There was even something around her throat now, something that felt a bit like a muzzle strap, but thicker, and with two pointed pieces on the inside that pressed into her skin. She messed with those for a long time, too, wondering what they were for, but mostly just enjoying another new feeling after so long with nothing changing.
As exciting as it all was, though, she was still scared when she stopped to think about the changes. Why was she in a new cell with new people? What had happened to her old owners? Were they coming back? What other new things were going to happen to her?
She couldnāt have ever imagined the answer to the last question. Not long after the lights came back on, waking up the monster from the light sleep sheād finally fallen into, some of the new people came into the cell - not her cell, she couldnāt think of it as that yet. They fed her first, and there was nothing different about that except that they didnāt hit her, but her old owners didnāt always hit her.Ā
But then, after she was fed, they grabbed her by the arms and stood her up. One of them said, āCome on, weāre taking you to medical,ā and that was a word sheād never heard before, but of course she walked with them like they obviously wanted her to, even when they opened the cell door and started taking her out.
She wanted to fight them. She was not supposed to go out, she was a monster, and monsters belonged in cells. She had always been in a cell, she had never been out, she didnāt know what out was, and as much as she wanted to know, as many times as she had watched the people go out and wondered where they went and what they did while they were outā¦she knew that she didnāt belong out there.
But fighting was not behaving. She was supposed to behave, or she would get hurt. So, no matter how scared it made her, she walked out the door with them, only the way her hands started shaking showing how she really felt.Ā
Out was still white walls, but they were smooth, not bumpy with straight lines. The floors were white instead of grey, and she could see the lights on them, so shiny and bright that it hurt her eyes. And out was long. It was so long, she couldnāt see the walls on two ends because they were so far away.
There was so much for her to take in. The people kept walking, because they were used to out, but she was still trying to look at the shiny white floors without her eyes making tears when they started passing doors. So many doors, one after another after another. They all looked the same at first.Ā
But then the out turned and went another way, and the monsterās head was spinning because out was so big. And the doors looked different now, some had white rectangles with black words on them. She knew they were words, even though she didnāt know what the words said, and she didnāt know how she knew because she didnāt remember ever seeing words before.
By the time they got to what must be āmedicalā, the monster could feel her heart pounding inside her chest and she could barely make her feet keep going. They opened another door and went in, but this was not a cell. The only thing in the room that was like a cell was the silver bed in the middle of the room. Everything else was too much to look at all at once.Ā
She didnāt mean to stop in the doorway, but her feet seemed to stop working, and when the people pulled at her arms her legs stopped working, too. They quit holding her up, and she would have fallen if the people hadnāt held her arms even tighter.
āStand up,ā one said, and they were angry, everyone was always angry. āDonāt fight it.ā
She wasnāt trying to fight, she couldnāt even think. Her thoughts had turned into screaming inside her head.Ā
āMove, now.ā
She wanted to. She couldnāt.
Pain exploded from her throat and through the rest of her body. But not just pain. It was nothing like sheād ever felt before. The inside of her body was buzzing, like the sound the light made in her old cell. She couldnāt move, but where before her arms and legs had been loose and weak, now they were completely locked in place. Colors flashed in front of her eyes. She wasnāt breathing.
Seconds later, it all stopped, and the monster was on the floor, staring up at the white ceiling, trying to figure out what had happened. Tears slipped from her eyes and ran into her black hair.Ā
Hands grabbed her arms and ankles and lifted her up, setting her onto the bed, then were replaced by cold, hard restraints. A person leaned over her and held up an object sheād never seen before.
āThis remote controls that collar youāve got on. Iām not the only one who has one. If you donāt want to go through that again, I suggest you behave yourself from now on and do what youāre told.ā
The monster stared up at him with wide eyes. She couldnāt remember anyone ever talking that much to her all at once before. There were so many words, it was hard to keep up with them and decide whether she knew what they all meant.Ā
She knew one for sure, though. Behave.
She was trying.
She just wanted to know what was happening to her.
āLetās start with the basics, then weāll do the blood work.ā The two people who brought her here were gone, but two more were walking quickly around and around her, grabbing things and handing them to each other. She was having a hard time keeping up with them. The one who had talked to her moved to do something in the corner that made a fast clicking sound, while the other stayed close to the bed. The monster wanted to turn and watch what she was doing, but she kept very still with her head pointed straight at the ceiling.
āIāve gotā¦five foot four andā¦ninety-six pounds.ā
The man made a grunting sound from the corner. āAnd they said they fed it sufficiently. Itās a wonder they didnāt kill it a long time ago.ā
āWell, it has no muscle mass, either. Theyāve essentially been letting it waste away to nothing all these years. Itās going to take a lot of work to turn it into anything useful.ā
āNot our problem. Iāll get a new diet worked up based on the blood work results. Vitals?ā
The woman slipped some fabric over the monsterās arm and fastened it snugly. Her sleeve felt weirdly wrinkled underneath it, but it was fine. Then it started getting tighter, and tighter, and it didnāt exactly hurt yet but there was no sign that it was going to stop before it completely crushed her arm.
But it did. It remained tight for a long, silent moment, and the monster held her breath along with it, then released the air with a whoosh that matched the sound of the thing on her arm as it loosened.Ā
The woman called out numbers that didnāt mean anything to the monster, and the man made clicking sounds again.Ā
It was one strange thing after another after that - poking and squeezing and shining lights in her eyes and ears. Each time they started something new, she was afraid that it would hurt, but so far none of it had been more than uncomfortable.Ā
The man reappeared from the corner finally, holding something shiny and sharp, just like her old owners had used yesterday. The monster flinched when she saw it. He frowned at her, and grabbed onto the strap of her muzzle so that he could jerk her face toward him.Ā
āHey. None of that. Youāve been good so far, but if you donāt hold still during this part Iāll have to use the collar again.ā Letting go of the muzzle, he tapped on the thing around her neck, and her eyes went wide. She didnāt want to feel that pain again.Ā
She was going to feel the pain from the sharp thing, though. She remembered what it had felt like, how it had made her gasp and that had made the people mad.Ā
The man tugged up her sleeve, and started pushing on the skin of her arm with his fingers. They felt weird, covered in those strange, rough gloves. Then there was something cold and wet, and yet another something tight being tied around her arm.Ā
Any moment now the pain would come, and the monster tried her best to brace herself for it. It was a struggle not to jolt with each new sensation.Ā
She couldnāt help the quick breath that she sucked in when the sharp thing went into her skin, but she was quiet, and she didnāt move. It wasnāt too bad, not after the first second, but they just left it in and she didnāt like it. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get used to the feeling.Ā
She just needed to concentrate on breathing. If she kept breathing and didnāt think about the feeling, it would be over soon. She hoped.Ā
It was not soon enough, not to her. But finally the man was taking out the sharp thing and moving away, and the monster could open her eyes again.Ā
The door opened. The monster wanted to turn and look, but she wasnāt sure if she was allowed to move her head, so she kept staring at the ceiling. It didnāt matter much, anyway, because the person that came in - a man with white hair on his head and face - was soon leaning over her.
āSo this is the new acquisition, hm?ā
āYes, sir,ā the other man answered. āWe were just finishing up with its first exam, got all its basic data here and will be running extensive tests on these vials. Was there anything else specific you wanted us to do today?ā
āNo, no, I just wanted to have a look for myself. Canāt wait to see it out on the training floor. Iāve heard it can do quite the damage already. Tiny little thing, though, isnāt it? Weāll need to beef it up some before it can do any real fighting.ā
The woman hummed. āYes, sir, itās definitely undernourished. Weāll be able to tell specifically what it needs once weāve run the first blood tests.ā
āGood, good.ā The white-haired man kept looking at her, and the monster wanted to sink into the bed and disappear, but she couldnāt even look away. She didnāt know what he wanted with her. He didnāt look angry, like most other people. She didnāt know what the look was that he was giving her, but she didnāt like the way it made her feel.Ā
āIāve already thought of a codename for it,ā he said after a long silence. āCame to me as soon as I heard what it could do. āSirenā. What do you think?ā
He was looking at her, but he wasnāt talking to her. She could tell that part. She just wasnāt sure if he was talking about her.Ā
āThatās a good one, sir.ā
The white-haired man chuckled. āYes. Your name will be Siren, and youāre going to make me a very powerful man.āĀ
Finally he stepped back, and waved a hand at the other two people. āAlright, carry on.ā
He left the room, and the others kept talking to each other and making clicking sounds and moving around her. But the monsterās mind was on the manās words.
A name?
Did she have a name now?
She didnāt remember ever having a name before. Orā¦maybeā¦did sheā¦?
No. She had always just been a monster. But now she wasā¦Siren.
She had a name. It filled her up with a warm, glowing feeling that made everything else from today not seem so bad.
She was Siren.
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron)
Characters: Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron)
Additional Tags: Hurt Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Whump, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Whump, POV Keith (Voltron), POV Lance (Voltron), POV Alternating, Keith & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Captivity, Fantastic Racism, Drowning, Waterboarding, Beating, Gunshot Wounds, Protective Blue Lion (Voltron), Stitches, First Aid, Blood Loss
Series: Part 8 of In which I whump Keith
Summary:
Lance really wasnāt sure that they could afford to wait for help, even for a day. Those guards werenāt going to let up on hurting Keith anytime soon, it didnāt seem. The next time, they might very well kill him.
It was bad enough being stuck on the other side of that glass, watching them torture him. Lance wouldnāt ever be able to forgive himself if he sat there and let him die.
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Aha, the results are finally in! I forgot to put a see results button so I had no idea how the race was going all week haha. Definitely never had this much interaction on a poll before. I hope at least some of you will come back around when I actually post whatever I write next! āŗļø
So I thought Iād let yāall know now what you were actually voting for!
1st place - Royalty turned servant - all new, never before seen OCs š
2nd place - Trafficking - Kamaria
3rd place - Time loop - Brumaria
3rd place - Powers turned against their user - Nari
4th place - Seedy motel room - modern Kamaria
4th place - Hospital aftermath feat. burns - Hero/villain Brumaria
5th place - Traumatic haircut - Isa
5th place - Accidental child acquisition - modern Kamaria
6th place - Hospital aftermath feat. sensory overload - Lainey and Isa
6th place - Plotting revenge - different all new, never before seen OCs
6th place - Chronic pain - Kamaria
Are you still glad you voted for what you did? š Now that you see the characters, Iād love to hear if you would change your vote, or stick with what you said!
Iām still working on one more piece for the exchange but I am eager to get started on something new asap! This will definitely influence me toward what I start with.
For the past 3 months, Iāve been working pretty exclusively on fics for a gift exchange (which yāall will get to see, too, once the author/artist reveal is done!), though I did take a brief break last week to write the Stabmas piece I posted. I have one more that Iām finishing up.
Meanwhile, Iāve racked up quite a list of things I want to write when Iām done. So help me decide what Iām gonna go for first! Iāll probably end up bouncing between at least a couple of these, because thatās how I get the most done. To make it more interesting, you donāt get the character/series, just the main trope (though some of you from discord may recognize what a few of these are).
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My server is 18+ (with separated sections for nsfw) but there arenāt many steady roleplayers on there (anyone can dm if they want more info or an invite)
Whumplovers Collaborate and Whump Writing Central are both very large servers with big rp communities. They are NOT 18+, but it is not at all uncommon for people to specify in their rp advertisements that they only want 18+ partners
Are there any whump rp discord servers that have more of an 18+ audience (not in an nsfw way just in a mostly older base) āļø I can't find many on Disboard. I joined one, and it is okay, but there are people that are just like 3 years younger than me, but the differences between us and maturity are insane. Which is fine. I just don't fit in, and some of the culture they have created and allowed there isn't something I'm 100% comfortable with.
I am a part of another server that I LOVEE and will never abandon. It's just in a lower activity wave at the moment, and I want more whump anyway and have time for more.
Any promo or suggestions I am looking for š„š„
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For the past 3 months, Iāve been working pretty exclusively on fics for a gift exchange (which yāall will get to see, too, once the author/artist reveal is done!), though I did take a brief break last week to write the Stabmas piece I posted. I have one more that Iām finishing up.
Meanwhile, Iāve racked up quite a list of things I want to write when Iām done. So help me decide what Iām gonna go for first! Iāll probably end up bouncing between at least a couple of these, because thatās how I get the most done. To make it more interesting, you donāt get the character/series, just the main trope (though some of you from discord may recognize what a few of these are).
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Big fan of whumpees who hide their fear behind defiance and anger
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Stabmas 2024 - The Shadow of Death - Cinderella AU
It's the second annual celebration of Stabmas, hosted by the Slices of Whump discord server!
And yes, yet another new Brumaria AU. Bruno, as always, belongs to the brilliant and lovely Izzy (painful-pooch), and she wrote a good bit of his dialogue for this.
Happy Ides of March, everyone!
Taglist: @painful-pooch , @sssunshinebreeze
The Shadow of Death Masterlist
Contains: referenced lady whump, dude whump, stabbing, mild blood, referenced parental abuse, referenced noncon touch, touch aversion, referenced mass murder
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A million stars fill the night sky, a full moon illuminating the cobblestone drive and the tips of each of the castleās spires. The heat of the day has faded, cool air brushing Kamariaās bare shoulders and arms.Ā
Itās a perfect night for a ball. Or so most of Ethorcon seems to think, judging by the number of carriages parked outside, awaiting their owners.Ā
Kamaria marches past them all, uncaring of what the drivers and footmen may think of her less than dignified arrival. Reaching the steps, she hitches up the heavy silk skirts of her motherās borrowed dress, only pausing her momentum once she reaches the towering front doors. The uniformed man standing there gives her an odd look. When she merely nods at him, doing her best to look down her nose like nobility are wont to do, he gives a slight bow and tugs open one door to let her inside.
The entrance hall by itself could fit her fatherās entire manor inside, sheās fairly certain. Everything gleams, from the marble floor that she can nearly see her reflection in, to the golden ceiling high above. A magnificent waste of money, on display for all to see.Ā
Thatās nothing new to her, though. Nobility all think the same - why waste your riches on helping people who desperately need it, when you can spend it all on flaunting your status?
Sheās arrived late out of more than one necessity. First off, she had to wait until her father had taken the carriage to come this way, himself, before she could even start getting herself ready and make the long walk. But more importantly, the ball is already well under way. No one but a few staff members have noticed her entrance. She doesnāt have to mingle with the rich, doesnāt have to be announced, and of course, doesnāt have as much of a risk of running into her father.Ā
Thereās a gold-framed mirror hanging on the wall to her right. Kamaria takes one last glimpse at herself, avoiding actually looking at her face in favor of adjusting the stiff dress and brushing back a few stray curls.
Then she takes a deep breath, skims her hand across the knife hidden safely in the folds of her skirt, and forges further into the castle.
She has a prince to find.
She expects him to be in the ballroom, right in the thick of the festivities. After all, this entire spectacle is about him. King Tristan is determined to find him a wife, and every eligible young lady around is here throwing themselves at his feet tonight.Ā
Technically Kamaria fits that description, as well, but she has no intentions or delusions of marrying. Even if she did, Prince Bruno is the absolute last person on earth that sheād ever consider.
It isnāt hard to find the ballroom. All she has to do is follow the sound of lilting music, which grows into a cacophony of instruments, murmuring, laughter, and the clinking of glasses the closer she gets. The doors are thrown open wide, with a few guests spilling out into the corridor.
Kamaria stiffens when she sees them, adjusting her posture and expression. The last thing she needs, when sheās finally this close, is to be called out for not belonging. Her heart pounds, but she reminds herself of the reflection she just saw.
For tonight, she is as noble as her blood. No one can see the scars on her back or the callouses on her hands. No dirt or ash smears her cheeks. She looks the part of a lady, and so long as she plays it, no one should be the wiser.
Swallowing hard, she edges her way into the ballroom, but stays on the outskirts, slowly circling the room. Beyond a few columns on one side is an open section that no one seems to be utilizing, too eager to press into the center and be near all of the action. Kamaria gladly takes it for herself. Itās no quieter, but the lighting is dim and it feels much safer than being within the crowd. From here, she can linger in the shadows and still see everything.
Thereās a dance ongoing, couples swirling by in a dizzying whirl of color. The prince will likely be out there, dancing with some lucky girl whoās caught his attention. He doesnāt seem to be with the king and queen, sitting on their thrones on a platform overlooking the festivities, anyway.Ā
She has honestly no idea what he looks like. Sheās counting on the crown to give him away. Faces are going by too fast to catch from this distance, but she should be able to spot the flash of gold in the torchlight.
āYou have the right idea, I believe.ā
Kamaria is so caught up in her search that she doesnāt notice the manās approach until heās upon her. Jolting, she grabs fistfuls of her skirts and tries to calm her suddenly racing heart, giving a quick sideways glance up at him. She has to think of something civilized to say.Ā
āIām not sure what you mean.ā
āSorry, didnāt mean to startle you.ā Thereās a smile in his voice. āI mean that, uhā¦this can all get to be a bitā¦much.ā With one finger, he indicates the dancers and the crowd. āSometimes I need to hide away, too.ā
Part of her automatically wants to agree with him, but she canāt give away how very out of place she feels here. āYes, well, I justā¦needed to catch my breath for a moment. All that dancing, you know.ā She cringes inwardly at how stupid she sounds, but then again, maybe thatās for the best. Let him think sheās just another airheaded noble. She doesnāt really care what he thinks of her as long as he doesnāt call her bluff, she needs him to move on so she can continue looking for the prince.Ā
āRight.ā She can see him shift out of the corner of her eye, shoving his hands into his pockets. āPersonally, Iād stay back here the whole night if my father wouldnāt hang me for it.ā
Something about the way he says it has her taking a second, longer glance at him, just enough that the golden glint above his brow is quite obvious. Suddenly her heart is in her throat, pulse roaring in her ears.Ā
Itās him. After all these years, the prince is standing here, right next to her, close enough to touch.
Her fingers itch to reach for the knife, but she canāt. Not yet. Not here.
She clears her throat, trying to find her voice again. āIād think that you would enjoy all of the attention from so many young ladies, sire.ā
He sighs. āWell, if any of them were interested in more than just the position my father is offering them, perhaps I would.ā She can feel his gaze on her. āWhat about you? Iām fairly certain you havenāt attempted to approach me yet. You wonāt even look at me now.ā He sounds amused. āAm I not what you thought I would be? Or has someone already claimed your hand?ā
Drawing in a deep breath to steady herself, she spins abruptly to face him, chin tilted up to meet his gaze. Whatever response she was concocting is gone immediately. His blue eyes light up, and a smile spreads across his face as he voices the exact words running through her mind.
āItās you.ā He chuckles, as if Kamariaās whole world hasnāt just come screeching to a halt. āIāll admit, Iād kind of hoped to see you here tonight. I was foolish enough to leave without getting your name before, which made it rather difficult to find you again.ā
Her mouth has gone dry. āYouā¦youāre Prince Bruno?ā Maybe itās a misunderstanding. Yes, he has on the crown, and he confirmed that the eligible ladies were here for him, butā¦maybe sheās made a mistake somehow.
āThat would be me.ā
Every part of her wants to turn around and leave, to find somewhere quiet where she can process this and decide what to do now. But no, nothing has changed. Her plans havenāt changed, she still has to follow through. Just because an hour conversation with this man had made him seem kind and caring and polite and funny and nothing like any other man sheād ever met, that doesnāt erase the last decade of knowing that he has to die.
āYou, umā¦you failed to mention that you were royalty during our first meeting.ā She prays he canāt tell how fast her heart is beating or hear the slight quiver in her words.
The prince gives a sheepish smirk. āYes, sorry about that. Itā¦didnāt seem relevant at the time? We were having such a nice conversation, andā¦ā
He didnāt want her reaction to him to change by knowing who he was. And heās right, it definitely would have changed. Just not in the way that he was expecting.Ā
āOf course.ā She tries to force a smile. So far, he doesnāt seem to suspect anything, not even that sheās actually a servant. Thankfully, sheād been presentable that day in the orchard, wearing a clean dress and having just washed her face and braided her hair. She probably looked like a peasant, at best, but then again, he hadnāt been dressed like a prince, either.
She opens her mouth to suggest that they find somewhere quieter to talk, but he speaks before she can get the words out.Ā
āWould you dance with me?ā
Kamaria can feel all of the blood drain from her face. āIā¦I couldnāt, I donātā¦ā I donāt know how, she almost blurts, but every lady should know how to dance, right? āIāmā¦not very good at dancing, Iām afraid, andā¦ā Her eyes flit over the crowd. āThereāsā¦so many peopleā¦ā
His gaze follows hers. āI understand. A dance with me unfortunately would draw a lot of attention. How about right here, then?ā He gestures to the dimly lit space around them. āAnd donāt worry, I wonāt judge your dancing skills.ā
What can she even say to that? She has no excuse to say no anymore, none that would be acceptable.
Why does he have to be such a gentleman?
Forcing another half-smile, she reaches out her gloved hand to take his outstretched one. āIād be honored.ā
His hand wraps around hers, engulfing it in warmth, and a tingling sensation shoots all the way up her arm. It makes her automatically want to jerk it back, but she just clenches her jaw and steps in closer. Heās smiling so genuinely, sliding his other hand gently around her waist to rest on her lower back. It feels like ice against her spine.Ā
Touch like this isnāt usually gentle. Itās usually harsh, possessive, accompanied by Lord Roderickās leering face and nauseating words. And thatās the only kind she gets, other than her fatherās fists striking her. She canāt even remember the last time that someone touched her and it didnāt hurt or repulse her. Even now, with no evidence in his stance or expression that heāll change from exactly what heās doing right now, she desperately longs to disappear.
But instead, she does exactly as she always does. She stays very still, focuses as hard as she can on her breathing, and pretends not to exist.Ā
The orchestra begins a new song, a slow, violin-led waltz, and Prince Brunoās feet start moving in rhythm, pulling her along. āJust follow me,ā he murmurs. āAnd donāt worry if you step on my toes. I have tough feet.ā
This is not what sheās supposed to be doing right now. This is the exact opposite of what she should be doing right now. Being held firmly in his arms, swaying and twirling through the shafts of moonlight that illuminate the floor, like two loversā¦she feels dizzy, and itās not from the dance itself.Ā
Heās a murderer, and a perfect gentleman. She allowed herself to like him, the day they met, to think about him often since then. Now, knowing who he really is, the thought makes her sick. But at the same time, she still feels herself drawn toward him in that same way. The way he looks at herā¦itās nothing like sheās ever seen before. He makes her feel wanted, and no one has wanted her in many, many years.Ā
Kamaria sucks in a sharp breath and pulls her gaze down to his shoulder. If he actually knew who she was - a servant and a Navarian - he wouldnāt want her. Perhaps heād order her death, like he had dozens of others.
āAre you alright?ā
He sounds so concerned, and she canāt take it anymore. She stops abruptly, stepping away and yanking her hand from his grasp like sheās wanted to all along, before she fully realizes what sheās doing. Luckily, sheās granted a plausible reason as soon as she glances past him. A group has gathered between the columns, gawking, apparently having noticed the movement of their dance and realizing that itās their prince finally dancing with someone. Kamaria stares at them for a moment, heart still pounding, long enough for Prince Bruno to turn and see for himself.Ā
She has to get out of here. Thereās a door in the corner, she has no idea where it leads, but it has to be better than this stuffy room full of curious people and too-loud music. Leaving the prince behind, she lifts her skirts slightly and runs toward it as fast as she dares.
To her immense relief, it lets out onto a large balcony, overlooking the gardens at the back of the castle. Kamaria crosses to the railing and drops her skirts, leaning heavily onto her hands and taking in gulps of the cool evening air. Sheās trembling all over.Ā
The door opens and shuts behind her, and she tenses, fingers gripping the rail.Ā
āIām sorry about that. Unfortunately, that kind of attention tends to follow me.ā
She swallows and forces her voice to work. āWill they now? Follow you, that is.ā
āNo.ā Heās walking a bit further onto the balcony, but staying back away from her. Giving her space, presumably, because he always seems to somehow know what she needs. āIāve ordered a guard to hold them off, with the promise that I will return shortly.ā Thereās a pause, even his footsteps quieting. āBut I donāt have to. I donāt actually have to return at all. Will it tick my father off? Yes, but I donāt really care.ā
No. No, he doesnāt have to return. He doesnāt deserve to return, doesnāt deserve to keep living his luxurious, perfect life being fawned over by hundreds while her peopleās blood stains the ground.Ā
The knife is out of its hidden pocket and in her hand without her really thinking about it. She turns slowly and begins to walk toward him, the rush of her blood once again filling her ears.
He has to die. It doesnāt matter how good he seems now, he sealed his fate ten years ago.Ā
Heās leaning against the wall, watching her. She canāt look him in the face, if she does she might falter, and thatās the one thing she canāt do. Close enough to hear his breaths, she places one hand against his arm to brace herself.Ā
Sheās ready. Just like all those times sheās practiced. One sure, swift movement, and the knife is buried in his flesh.
Thereās a quiet choking sound, deep in his throat. He sucks in a sharp breath, huffs a laugh. āWas itā¦something I said?ā
Kamaria stares at the knife hilt protruding from the princeās shoulder, at the bright red blood seeping out from around it, at the blue silk glove on her hand that still holds it. She should pull it out. Stab him again, in the chest, where sheād meant to stab him to start with.Ā
She canāt seem to do so.
"You're not the first to do that. And I'm sure you're not the last.ā Heās still talking, still so bafflingly calm despite the fact that the woman he was flirting with has just stabbed him. āDo you really want me dead? Because you sure didn't think I was a terrible person when we were talking a few weeks ago.ā
Sheās shaking again. Or still, perhaps. Itās unclear whether or not she ever stopped.Ā
This is supposed to be her moment. Sheās been planning this for so long, been waiting for the perfect chance, and now itās here andā¦itās all wrong.
His hand comes up, slowly, and covers her, wrapping around the knife just as gently as heād held onto her inside. "How about we talk about this. You can keep the knife there, or not. Preferably, I would like to live after this, but if you are determined enough, I suppose I could go."
Now he doesnāt even care whether she kills him? He wants to talk, rather than just shoving her away, shouting for the guards, having her arrested and hanged?
She shuts her eyes, jaw clenching and unclenching. āYou werenāt supposed to beā¦nice.ā
"I wasn't supposed to be a prince either, but things don't work out that way, love. I'm sorry I wasn't a terrible person like some think of me."
Kamariaās eyes fly open, and she finally looks him in the face, glaring. āYou are a terrible person. You killed them. And Iāve been waiting my whole life to return the favor.ā
"And who told you what I am?" His brow is furrowed, confusion with flashes of irritation playing across his features. "What would I have succeeded in the death of others? If you think that low of me, then go ahead, twist the knife, or go for something lethal this time."
His hand releases hers in favor of raising both in surrender, obviously moving the left carefully to avoid jostling the knife. "There's nothing I have to hide, my dear. Nothing. If you want answers, then I'll do my best to help you find them. If you want to do away with me once you have your truth, then so be it."
She knows the answers already. She just doesnāt understand them now that sheās here. What if sheās wrong? What if sheās had it wrong all along, and this is really not the man she should have been looking for?
Her eyes search his, looking desperately for the truth. "I don't know. I can't...I can't reconcile the man I met in the orchard with the one who had my family killed. Which one are you? Was everything you said to me...a faƧade? Or are you going to try to convince me that you've changed, because that was all so long ago? Or that it was a necessary loss for the good of the country?"
"I'm the same man I've always been, the one you met. I have not lied to you since the moment we met, and I don't plan on changing that about myself." He lowers his arms, noticeably gritting his teeth as he does so. More blood oozes out and stains his crisp white shirt. "I did change, but not in the way you imagine. And I would neverā¦what loss would make the country great? Our people are our people. What would there be to gain from killing those that I'm supposed to protect?"
"You tell me!ā she spits. āBecause those were royal soldiers that burned down the village that night. I was there. I saw them.ā The memories of that night are seared into both her mind and her skin. āAnd all fingers have pointed to you as the one who sent them." She pauses, still watching his face, ready for her next question to reveal his true nature. "Was it because we were Navarian? Because we were outsiders?"
He does react, but not in disgust like she expected. He flinches, as if sheās physically struck him. "I never sent my troops to harm your people." She can almost see the thoughts racing in his mind. "Navarian or not, I swore to protect their lives as well."
He just keeps on denying everything, and Kamaria doesnāt know whether to believe him or stab him again for it. She leans in a little, putting more pressure on the knife. "Then why are they dead?"
Prince Bruno tightly shuts his eyes, the pain obviously getting to him. "Let me figure that out with you. You want justice, and I'll make it happen. I never wanted to hurt people." He opens his eyes to meet hers, and she hates that she can see honesty shining in them. "You have no reason to trust me, but I need you to give me a chance to prove my innocence. Because if I didn't do this, then that means someone else will just let it happen again."
She wants to believe him. She wants to see if he can actually find different answers than the ones sheās always known.
Part of her, the part that has planned his death since she was twelve, also wants to be done with this here and now.
But as sheās debating, the clock tower in the center of town begins to chime. Her attention jerks to it. Midnight. Far later than she ever planned on being here. Her father wonāt stay much longer, and she still has to walk all the way back home. If sheās not there when he gets thereā¦
āFine.ā Itās an effort to pry her fingers away from the knife, but she does so, taking two steps back. āYou have your chance. If you didnāt kill them, then find out who did. And Iāll find out if youāre lying to me.ā
She has to go. She doesnāt know whether to hope that she ever sees his face again, or not. But she turns, hurrying toward the door on the other end of the balcony, one that doesnāt lead back into the ballroom.Ā
"Wait, can I at least have your name this time? I want to find who hurt your people, and I want to be able to tell you when I do."
Her steps slow, then stop, and she stares at the ground, debating what to tell him. If he comes looking for her, heāll know that sheās a fraud, a pathetic lordās daughter being used as a servant in her own home. Maybe he wonāt even want to help her anymore.
She should tell him something, though. And since her father refuses to call her by her real, Navarian name anywayā¦ āKamaria.ā That will have to do. Sheāll just find him herself as soon as she can get away, and make sure heās holding himself to his vow.
She looks back over her shoulder at the prince, still leaning heavily against the wall with her knife sticking out of him. āDonāt let me down.ā
Without waiting for an answer, she shoves through the door and runs off into the night.
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Stabmas 2023
Welcome to a celebration piece for the Ides of March, featuring Kamaria š
Bruno (mentioned) belongs to @painful-pooch .
Contains: lady whump, blood, stabbing, implied noncon drugs, mild gore, referenced noncon touch, very brief self-deprecating thoughts, hurt no comfort
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Among blinding pain that seems to radiate from one end of her body to the other, the tip of a knife pressed into soft skin is hardly worth considering. Itās just a nuisance, another sensation to add to far too many.
Sheās cold. Sheās far too cold and far too bare, the unforgiving stone floor seeps into her skin like ice and she wantsā¦
She wants a blanket.
She wants to be held.
She wants warm, calloused hands to caress her cheek and wrap around her waist and reassure her that everything is alright, everything will be alright, even if itās not right now.
She doesnāt want anyone touching her, touch brings nothing but pain and fear and the very thought of hands on her makes her stomach churn, makes her want to scream and cry and scratch off her own skin.
But sheās so cold and so alone. Something burns in her veins that shouldnāt be there, but it doesnāt warm her. Her hand stretches out into an open, empty space that she canāt even see and is met with nothing but air. No one reaches back for her.
The knife presses in farther and breaks skin. Blood trickles out, and itās like fire in its warmth, running down the side of her leg to drip onto the floor beneath her. Thereās so much blood already. Her hair is stiff with it, dried patches of it cake her body. The smell is thick in the air.
She still doesnāt notice the pain. Not when her whole existence is pain, when she canāt remember a time that everything didnāt hurt and burning, throbbing, screaming pain encompasses everything she is and knows.
Itās not until the knife slides farther in, slicing through layers of skin and into muscle before pausing again, that it breaks through the fog. A low groan vibrates in her throat. Her head jerks to one side, and she tries to move the leg away from the source of pain but it feels somehow detached from her body.
Voices float through the air and swirl around her. Meaningless. One is shouting, perhaps, but the words are like a swarm of bees, muffled by the sound of her pulse pounding in her ears.
The knife cuts deeper.
Her back arches up off the ground and she chokes on what should be a scream. More blood runs down her leg. Itās gushing now, not trickling. The blade embedded in her thigh can only hold it back so much.
She wants Bruno. He said he wouldnāt leave her, but she doesnāt know where he is.
āMai amachari, relintis ma nos.ā Her words slur together as they stumble off her tongue. āEy vourer moriti nos. Pralut aydeti.ā A tear, hot like the blood on her leg, slides down her temple and pools in her ear.
Heās not here, heās not here. If he was here he would help her. She doesnāt want to die without seeing him again.
Someone pushes the knife deeper still, until the cold hilt rests against her skin. She throws her head back, sobs ripping through her throat. āPralut perlemāa moriti nos!ā
Her fingernails scrape against the floor, digging up bits of dirt and half-dried blood. It wonāt stop. The pain never ends, she canāt escape it. Her eyes open, letting more tears loose, and rove across the ceiling, but itās all just a blur. None of it means anything, nothing makes sense except for pain.
Voices again. Someone is laughing, she thinks. The sound forms a pit deep in her stomach.
ā-mari-!ā
āKam-ia!ā
She wants Bruno.
Suddenly the knife is yanked back out of her leg, all at once, tearing sideways through new bits of flesh. Everything flashes to bright white. She doesnāt scream because she canļæ½ļæ½ļæ½t breathe, can only jerk against the floor and make choking sounds while the blood flow triples.
She wants it to be over.
She deserves this.
She canāt take anymore, she needs it to end. Sheās just waiting for darkness to take her away from the pain, but it wonāt come. Whatever it is that burns inside her veins wonāt let her go. No matter how much she wishes for escape, sheās trapped here - lost, alone, and cold.
Sheās so cold.
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āāāāāāāā
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Translation of Vaya: āMy love, donāt leave me. I donāt want to die. Please help me.ā āPlease donāt let me die!ā
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It's still Sunday for another hour for me so I'll jump on that open tag!
The woman completely ignores her, smiling at Liliana, who swallows hard, anxiety thrumming through her veins. Thereās nothing about this situation that she likes. The chains, the captivity, obviously those are bad, but being the apparent center of the villainās attention is somehow just as terrifying.
Sheās not even an official member of the team. They think so, of course, but most people donāt even know she exists, not like the rest of the team whoās on the news all the time.Ā
This woman shouldnāt know her name, much less care anything about her.Ā
I'll give an open tag, too, since Sunday is over for most people!
Six Sentence Sunday
I was tagged by @kaylinalexanderbooks and @sleepywriter00 in this post chain here and by @i-can-even-burn-salad in this post here. Thanks, all!
Heyyyyy I managed to squeeze it into the final hours of Sunday after all.
Open tag seeing as it's the end of the day in my time zone. š
If you wanna play, tell 'em Kate sent ya!
From The Queen of Lies:
A single voice sent her bolting upright again.
āBreanna!ā
And, all of a sudden, the choice was not merely move or die. It was move now or die slowly. It was hide or be caught. It was accept the pain or accept the cage.
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Happy anniversary to the very first iteration of Kamaria that exists online. She was uhh....white lol, but hasn't changed physically a whole lot otherwise. Of course she existed in my head long before this, but it also took me a really long time after this to ever actually start writing for her.
First concept for a yet-to-be-named OC. I may get around to writing her story someday, if I can ever get myself to do an original work instead of fanfics. I was playing around on Picrew and when I saw all the scars and such this one had to offer I couldnāt resist.
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Hope you're doing well!!!
Are you continuing the 'In Irons' & 'Querancia' whump series?
Please take care of yourself and have a wonderful day/night!
Hey, thanks for your interest!
Querencia is most definitely being continued. In fact, I have already started the next chapter (hint: itās Nari whump)! Iāve been busy with pieces for a gift exchange the last couple of months, though, so itās been put on the back burner, but as soon as that is over this month itās one of a few I want to get back to working on. Besides The Shadow of Death, Querencia gets updated the next most often.
As far as In Irons, I unfortunately canāt give any promises, but I do hope to add more to it someday. I even have a vague idea of what the rest of the plot will look like, but I rarely get inspiration to actually write it. Kamaria, Lili, and Siren are my current favorite blorbos so they get the majority of my attention. I do know that there are several people who want more of In Irons, though, so Iām going to do my best to keep goingā¦at some point!
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Hiii! Please go give spicywhumper's blog a try- they write original whump with mostly female characters and include clear trigger warnings when needed. Also, they're kind of losing hope that anyone enjoys lady whump please see if you like or want to read any of their stuff. Even if you personally don't want to read nor enjoy the content, maybe reblog it so it can each other ppl who do enjoy it? If you can, please visit their blog, as a favour for me. Enjoy your day and thanks in advance for reading this ask & potentially considering the idea.
Thanks for the rec! Iām always on the lookout for more lady whump writers. From what Iāve seen so far some of their stuff is a little too spicy for me to read or reblog, personally, but it also looks like thereās a variety so Iām still going to see if thereās anything on there for me. Also, I know there are plenty of people in my followers who like that kind of thing, so hopefully they will see this and check it out, too! Iāll go ahead and tag @whumpawoman and @lady-whump-collection so maybe it will reach more people.
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