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big brain energy

so my friend brought up the incredible possibility that the alternate universe in which Ellen Claremont is president and the alternate universe where exy exist could be the same universe

consider:

Alex and Henry at the Olympics 

(again lol but this time with less angst these fools)

Andrew and Neil are playing court at this point

two worlds collide

Alex and Neil, the dynamic duo of Chaotic Dumbasses Who Don’t Know When To Keep Their Mouths Shut

they complement each other’s public roasts of assholes they don’t like

Andrew and Henry, two blondes who are Just Trying To Get By 

each trying to control their mess of a boyfriend who has no self-preservation

Neither Henry nor Alex understands the rules of the sport

they try to fake it but Neil Knows Immediately 

Neither Andrew nor Neil knows what a politic is

Alex is dying inside

Henry tries to bond with Neil because Neil’s mom is British but then Neil is like “yeah her family is a bunch of mobsters” and Henry is like “fuck we have those too I thought that was a weird American thing like shitty tea”

Andrew is annoyed at Henry’s existence because it should not be legal for him to have to tilt his head that far back to talk to someone

Alex and Neil bond over their respective unhealthy obsessions that their boyfriends find annoying

Alex finds Andrew attractive for reasons he doesn’t understand 

its because he likes buff blond dudes who repress all their emotions

Henry has the primal urge to rest his elbow on Andrew’s head but he doesn’t want to die

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So I was reading Lord of Shadows and came across:

Is Magnus referencing James burning down Blackthorn Manor in Idris???

Because if he was IJWJAJSKSJSONSMSKX

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things to do with all the time you have in your hands because of quarantine:

- read a book

- try a new hobby

- go into the hell realm that your demon grandfather stole from another demon as he tries to convince you to let him possess you and then be saved by the girl you don’t know you love because you were under a spell made by the adoptive daughter of the reclusive woman that detests your parents for killing the demon that her father became

- bake cookies

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“Sure, when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she’s a ‘goddess’, but when I do it I’m 'drunk’ and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium’.”

- Mathew Fairchild

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“I am sorry,” Anna said, with a slight, formal bow. “I didn’t realize you were here.” She turned to go, but Ariadne hastened across the room to her, holding out a hand. “Anna, please. I want to talk to you.” Anna paused, staring at the door. Her heart beat loudly in her ears. She cursed herself quietly; she should be long past feeling this way. So foolish. So young. I am Anna Lightwood, she told herself. Nothing touches me.

- Chain of Gold, Cassandra Clare

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the Gay Panics©

(For my bby @tyherondaletrash)

I can’t believe no one has put all the amazing Gay Panics in a single post. Alright, I’m gonna do it. If you think I forgot something, feel free to add them;)

“They are so handsome ,” said Catherine, sounding almost pained. “Don’t you think so, Ariadne?” “Oh—yes,” Ariadne said hastily. “I suppose.”

I legit screamed at the book “GIRL YOUR GAY IS SHOWWIIING”

“Alastair!” Cordelia called. “Do come eat! The food is vanishing!” […] “Ah,” said Thomas, in a slightly too casual voice. “Alastair is here.”

C’MON TOM TRY I KNOW YOU GOT THIS. BREATHE: IN Ì, OUT, IN, O UTTTK

Alastair pushed his way through the people between them. “By the Angel, Lightwood,” he said. “You’ve become gigantic.” […] Alastair nodded. A silence fell. Thomas began to panic.

He literally began to panic. This is it. The Ultimate Gay Panic. Tom is our king. (Our boy is in deep shit indeed)

“Where on your arm?” he asked, and when Thomas showed him, Alastair ran his fingers over the spot, unselfconsciously, his fingertips tracing a path from the sensitive skin of Thomas’s inner wrist to the crook of his elbow. Thomas sat stunned and shivering, though he was hot all over.

NOW, WHY SHOULD MY FRENEMY TOUCH MY ARM WITHOUT ANY APPARENT REASON? AND TOM WAS SHIVERING. SHIVERIIING

“Please don’t,” said Thomas. Christopher did not always have the best of luck with runes. “Oh, bloody hell, I’ll do it,” said Alastair, and stomped heavily over to Thomas’s side. Thomas watched in what seemed to be shock as Alastair produced a stele and began to draw on the bare skin of his arm where his shirt had been torn.

There was not a single time these two interacted that I was not screeching. And let me, just, you know- every fucking time Alastair ends up touching him. Like, Charles who ma’am?

“If you do not promise,” Cordelia added, “I will not go home with you. I will stay out all night and be utterly ruined. I will have to marry Thomas or Christopher.”Alastair’s eyes narrowed. “Very well, I promise,” he muttered.

Alastair panicking because his sister marrying Thomas is NOT something he want to see

“Charles.” Alastair appeared in the entryway.“Let Thomas in.” Charles rolled his eyes but stepped back from the door.

Not really Gay Panic, more like Gay Annoyance, but I thought it deserved to be here

“I have faith in Thomas.” “You do ?” said Cordelia. “I didn’t think you even knew him that well.” Alastair hesitated. “I watched him make it,” he said finally.

Alastair mind went like “FUCK FUKC FUCKK!! WhaT Do I sAy nOW? ‘Uhm yas I was there’

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Red Scrolls excerpt for Valentine’s day!

Magnus cast a few protective spells to ward them as they slept, then joined Alec on the sofa, climbing over one arm and crawling on top of Alec like Chairman Meow would have if they were home. He draped himself across Alec’s body, tucked his face into the curve of Alec’s neck, and inhaled the scent of him. Alec’s arm went around Magnus’s back, stroking a shoulder blade. Magnus dropped a kiss on the underside of Alec’s jaw and rubbed his cheek lightly against the rough scrape of Alec’s two-day stubble. He felt Alec draw in a shuddering breath.

“Come and hold me,” Alec whispered. “I want you next to me.”

Magnus glanced up at him. Alec’s eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply.

Come and hold me. I want you next to me. Maybe it was easier for Alec to say things like that when he was half asleep. It hadn’t occurred to Magnus that Alec might feel self-conscious, saying things like that. He’d thought Alec didn’t want to say them.

Magnus did as requested and curled his body around Alec’s. Their legs tangled together. Magnus traced a forefinger across Alec’s cheek, down to his mouth. Alec’s lashes were long, thick, and dark, curving to touch the tops of his cheekbones. His lips were full and soft, his hair a tumble of rough black silk. He looked vulnerable in a way that was hard to square, sometimes, with the cold-eyed, arrow-slinging warrior he became in battle…

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anyone vaguely related to the Herondales: *breathes*

Jem, Tessa and Magnus, crying: WILL USED TO DO THAT ONCE

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“friendship envy”

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #crowley and aziraphale

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Saw some photos of them behind scenes on fb and put them together yno

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mOcKiNg CrOwLey

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“On love’s light wings!”

It’s a hard spell and an old spell, and it works only if you understand the Great Vowel Shift of the Sixteenth Century - and if you're stupidly in love.

- Baz Pitch, Carry On

#quotes #quote #book #books #read #reading #avid reader #bibliophile #carry on #rainbow #rainbow rowell #simon #simon snow #baz #baz pitch #love #in love #favorite quotes

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Names that Simon’s band had:

-Sea Vegetable Conspiracy

-Rock Solid Panda

-Lawn Chair Crisis

-Sexist Pigs

-Furious Mole

-Fortuitous Occurrences

-Champagne Enema

-Mojo Pie

-Salacious Mold

-Millennium Lint

-Dangerous Stain

-Dichotomous Lemur

-Sexy Vampire Mojo

-Werewolf String Quartet

-Midnight Burrito

-Lethal Soufflé

-Craven Loons

-Fun Academy

-Dead Sneaker Rat

-Rodent Funeral

-Guinea Pig Death Posse

-Mortal Instruments

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i will yeet David across the ocean if he does anything to Charlie y’all I will FIGHT him if he touches him im-

The exact words passing through Nick’s brain rn

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by William Herondale

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kit herondale and ty blackthorn a very late secret santa for @kittrook