dreamiesdotcom

[dreamiesdotcom]

annyeong sorry to disturb you, can you reblog the post on my timeline?

no worries at all my love! sending you all the best wishes and all my good luck ✨💛

#💌 #moon's letters

[dreamiesdotcom]

what if the reason i always feel like something's missing is because my immortal soulmate that i fall in love with through many lifetimes was killed. then what.

[dreamiesdotcom]

moon! is therapy accessible to you? would you want to go? to me it sounds like you’re really depressed & idk if you want to hear that but when i personally was super depressed everyone around me either ignored it or denied it so i just want you to know that i may not understand but i see your pain and i wish the best for you

okok i collected my thoughts and am like, wow. i did that. shame.

I actually went to therapy myself and even began medication but I just,,, i dont know. Not to mention my family is very religious (srsly they take it way too far) and believe that I'm just not praying enough or not attending masses regularly and am getting punished for it. last time I spoke about feeling helpless I had to read the bible :)

thank you for this, i really needed the kind words :) ill be better soon, just like I always do hehe! pls await the return of the bubbly moon everyone knows in this account!!

[dreamiesdotcom]

idek what im doing. everything i loved doing just doesn't excite me anymore. im genuinely not happy and im not that sad either. i just,,, don't feel anything i guess. ive been eating all day and i don't feel full. i wasn't starving before that. every sound is annoying and it's grating my ears. i feel suffocated and i dislike everyone's faces and everything they say to me. i feel like a piece of plastic just floating somewhere jfc. and even when i tell everyone 'i can't feel anything' they tell me to go outside or keep myself entertained and im like. I can't feel anything. I can't fucking feel anything.

[dreamiesdotcom]

tw: dark themes ahead [murder, unhealthy relationships, yan!Renjun :)]

[3:45am] Your mother was not a lady you should listen to for love advices, but who else did you have in this world? No friends, no nothing; just a mother who wears purple like her skin and dons rose colored glasses with pride; every night she tells you 'your father isn't a bad man', digging it in your brain, 'even good men have flaws.'

You were your father's child, that's why you see foolishness clear as day. However you were also your mother's. Because of this, you have the urge to love him without boundaries and you do.

Kissing his bruised knuckles, the blood from it stains the side of your lips. He looks at you, enamored. In your mind, you hear your mother say that all good men have flaws, and so did your boyfriend.

You just had to learn how to love Renjun in his bad days.

He moves his hand so he's caressing your cheek, bringing you up to his lips.

"I love you so much," he'd make you shrines every night, worshiping you.

You were weak, just a girl with a runaway father and a mother who was always out looking for love in men that wouldn't know gentleness if they tried. Afraid. Beyond your pretty, angelic, and independent self, you were still a little girl in a town under a storm, tembling in fear of being left by your parents.

"Don't leave me," you whimper. "You'll stay with me, right?"

Renjun's eyes weren't the clear night sky you've been searching for all you life, but he was the eye of a hurricane. You never knew peace and you mistook him for it.

"I love you, and we'll stay together... always and forever."

And who says that forever exists? Who says that if it does, it will become a fairytale?

"Please, stop," you kneel before him, holding onto bloodied knuckles. "Isn't this enough? Aren't I enough? Don't you want to be with me?"

Renjun's eyes were warm with adoration, rotting with sweetness solely for you — not the gaze of a murderer. He licks his lips.

"Darling, I'm helping them," he kisses the tip of your nose. "I'm only being merciful. Aren't you glad that I'm showing you mercy too?"

You nod wordlessly.

"That's good, doll," his fond name reminds you of your worth. "Don't break yourself while I make us dinner, okay? Stay still and pretty for me."

You nod again, sitting on the floor. He hums a tune as he walks out to the kitchen. He does sound like an angel.

“Merciful.” Is there any real mercy in death?

How is it mercy to watch them die one by one? ‘He's showing me mercy by not killing me’ isn't that just normalcy? Isn't that humanity?

You wanted nothing but to cry at how unfair it all was. You were tired of loving him in his bad days! And it was not your fault — you don't want to have to love someone if all the days are bad!

It was draining, to say the least. You wanted someone to see you, to care for you, to look at you like you were something more than a rotting thing that should've been thrown away before it went bad. You didn't even ask to be loved, you just wanted someone to let you know that it wasn't a mistake for you to be in this world.

“It's okay that you're alive” — not even I'm glad, or I'm thankful. Just ‘okay’.

Everyday Renjun shows you a beast beneath the moonlight. When he paints the town red, he shows you the difference of mercy and no mercy. You learn to be thankful. At least you weren't dead, at least it was okay you were alive, at least someone loves you.

Renjun loves you. Renjun just has his bad days. Renjun has a lot of bad days but he gives you roses, gives you chocolates, and everyday... everyday he makes you dinner and proves that red means love. And punishment. Divine punishment, so unfair and realistic, that it will utterly break your spirit, to the point where you feel yourself rotting away from your core too.

It's less about the thorns in the roses, and more about if he had taken the time to change their bluntness, so you don't hurt yourself accepting this love.

It was less about the fact that you loved him enough to accept the sharpness he came with, and more about the fact that you want to know if he loved you enough to not tear your skin.

My God he did not. He did not love you, no. This wasn't love — it shouldn't be, and if it was, you didn't want it. This wasn't just loving him in his bad days. This was selling your soul to the devil himself for a feast you don't even get to eat.

So you leave. You leave and years pass and life becomes good. Paranoid in every goodbye, shaky with every vow of love — you find a boy with less bad days, and even in those bad days he kisses your forehead and says 'can we stay quiet right now? I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk' and he doesn't cut you with rose thorns. It seemed scary at first.

Life was good enough. Sometimes you feel stares, just like tonight as you laid on your bed. But it had been years. Renjun hasn't followed you, hasn't tried to go after you. You think maybe he at least loved you enough to let you go.

Tonight was good enough. In an alright apartment in an alright town with an alright job that provides you just alright. You were good enough. Good enough of a day that you can call your boyfriend at night and not be terrified of him becoming the same man you were running away from.

"Goodnight, sweets," you whisper to the phone, reveling in your love's calm breathing. "I love you, always and fo—"

The chuckle that followed didn't come from the speakers, and didn't sound like your boyfriend's.

When you look at your phone, a shiver runs down your spine when you realized the call was already put down a while ago.

Warmth tickled your nape. The breathing sounds weren't coming from the phone, but from beside you; Renjun laid on his side of the bed, looking down at your horrified gaze with lovesickness.

"C'mon now, sweets," he had mocked your tone. "You didn't really think I'd let you promise that to anyone else, right?"

"Re-Renjun..."

"That's right, darling. Your mouth needs no other words than my name," he thumbs your lower lip, before digging a blunt nail down it. "Didn't I tell you?"

Today was a bad day.

"I love you, and we'll stay together... always and forever."

#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream blurbs #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #nct dream timestamps #renjun #renjun drabbles #renjun blurbs #renjun scenarios #renjun imagines #renjun x reader #renjun timestamps

[dreamiesdotcom]

[8:16pm] Today had been long enough. Not that anything much happened, though — today was just long, uneventful, painfully silent, and unbearable. The only thing barely keeping you alive was a random track from an indie band you like blasting from your speakers.

Donghyuck had his eyes closed as he napped on top of you. You felt comfortably snug against his weight and the plush couch, counting the time with his breaths.

"Hey," his voice was raspy from not speaking for hours. You move his hair so that you can see his eyes, just as he mutters, "I love you."

A small smile breaks into your face. You're way too tired to say it back, but Hyuck moves up to level with your eyes. He kisses your cheek obnoxiously, before taking your hand and pressing your wrist to his face, kissing over it too.

"Your heart's racing," he breathes against the skin right above your pulse.

You barely crack a smile. "Yeah?"

He nods. "Mine too."

You can't help but close your eyes with a little laugh when he nudges his nose against yours.

The rest of the day might actually be slightly bearable.

#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream blurbs #nct dream drabbles #nct 127 #nct dream scenarios #haechan x reader #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 blurbs #nct 127 drabbles #nct 127 timestamps #haechan timestamps #haechan imagines #haechan scenarios #fluff :D

[dreamiesdotcom]

first of all, im not quitting writing. i try my best to write, i really do. im just very confused right now and i don't know what to do with myself.

ive never had felt so heavy my whole entire life. i feel so drained at the same time and im just generally not in a good place emotionally and mentally (?) [cue me for once opening up lol]

there's this person in my life who i just can't rid myself of. let's say they're family, won't say who but y'all would probably know anyway which role he plays. i love him, you know? but at the same time i hate everything in myself that reminds me of him. i hate him too. i miss him when he's gone but it's the only time i can breathe.

he tries his best, i think he loves me. he gives me gifts and stuff and he apologizes when he makes me breakdown — but he doesn't really change. he's real mean. he cares for me. he's troubled and i am too and it's like this genetic curse that tells me because i have his bloodline therefore i suffer. only that we suffer differently and when i say we suffer differently i mean i cry because he makes me. he's sorry.

he gets me cute stuff, they're real pretty. i forgive him but sometimes i wish he's just not here but I know I shouldn't think that equal parts because I do not want to and because I should love him.

he just confuses me. he makes me want to be a better person for two reasons: i want to not hurt others the way he hurts me and the other i want to not be like him; both reasons remind me how deeply engraved he is within myself and it reminds me of when I was told I was just like him and I remember being terrified. the reasons i want to better are the same reasons that stems me to want to self destruct and be ruinous and im so confused.

i don't know anymore honestly. im fine. i think I'm fine. I know I should be used to this, but I just don't want to even if I know there's nothing I could do.

im not taking a break, nor am I leaving. I just don't have it in me to post regularly and reply to messages. to those who stick by me despite my absence and inconsistency, I really thank you guys. I owe you lots and I love you all.

[dreamiesdotcom]

[01:40] Jaemin whines your name as he sat on the floor, cheek on your thigh. He looked so much of a child it was laughable, almost.

"C'mon, tell me more! What else? What else do you love about me?"

There's nobody you'd want more than this boy. As a proof you speak for ten more minutes, telling him of himself through your eyes.

"I love it when you wear your sweaters..."

His eyes flutter shut, and you now freely admire him as you please. Trace stars on his cheeks, draw the moon on his temples. Your words sink into you like an anchor. Jaemin and his smile and his voice and his writing and his cooking and his terrible sweet tooth and his perfection.

"I... love it when you're like this. I love it when you bring me flowers."

You felt like a droplet next to his ocean. Jaemin was warm, lived in, like a healthy home. Jaemin has his smile, has his voice, has his writing, has his cooking, has character — has life. You, you have... well...

"I love it when I have you with me at home... when you make me playlists, when you write me letters..."

When you stop speaking, your throat aches and you wonder if you talked too much, too loudly — you knew you did, but somehow it felt like you didn't. You know? You know, you know...

None of your words felt yours. This is not to say you don't mean them — the praises you sing, your declarations of love — because you didn't work so hard to say them just to lie. It's just that even saying your lover's name was something so sacred, so beautiful of a sound you're not sure you were really capable of making.

If you asked you'd say you're doing pretty okay being a person. You wouldn't be dating him if you weren't at least, right? You tell people “have a good day” and “believe in yourself” but sometimes, when only the ones who matter can see, you're all closed curtains and locked doors. When you want to say ‘I love you’ you snarl and when you wish to ask ‘please stay’ you push people away.

"I love it when you understand... me."

When it really matters your actions never reflect your intentions and you can't be honest because you believe you can only be loved in poetry. You're only beautiful as a tragedy, and hey, you know, seasons and people and you're winter, ‘you love me for a while but you don't want me to be here forever.’

Hey, you know, seasons and people and you're the holidays; ‘you can say you want me everyday but if I come by everyday would I still be any special?’ You know, seasons and people and you're a rollercoaster ride in an amusement park, ‘you love my thrill but at the same time my God do you want it to end.’ Seasons and people.

Seasons and people and you're fall. You're falling, like autumn leaves, and as a leaf you could only fall once when you live—

"I love you..."

— ‘and you know, right? Seasons and people, I'm an autumn leaf, I fall for you and only for you, hoping like a child that you'd never leave. I hold onto hope the same way I believed in Santa.’

"I lo... I..." You bite your lip, "Jaemin?"

"Mhm..."

"Are you awake, Jaemin?" His hair fan like halo on your thighs. You twirl his hair on your fingertip, "Jaemin, I have a question... err, more like a what-if."

"‘m sleepy... is it a sad what-if?"

"No, but it is an important what-if," you trail every sign of life on his skin, gentle as butterflies yet intense as fireflies. He hums so you proceed, "What if I'm iced coffee on a winter day?"

He yawns, "Is this for TikTok?"

"You might want me, but I'm not good for you."

"So it's not for TikTok?" He opens his eyes, your question waking up his mind with fear. "Wait, are you—"

He stops. Tears were falling from your eyes, and they were not beautiful — tears were even less beautiful when you see them on the people you love — your eyes were swollen as though you've been crying longer than he hoped you were.

You tried to smile, and you ask, "Do you take me still?"

He kneels from where he sat, a hand place on your shoulder as if to ask a question but he just couldn't find the words. Hear this: Jaemin talks a lot and it takes a lot to make him speechless.

You were the only silence he loves.

Sometimes you were comforting silence, sometimes you were lonely silence. Sometimes you weren't even silent at all! You laugh and you joke and you scream in frustration when you cry; once you slammed a door shut on his face and you screamed that you hate life and yourself and he couldn't understand you if he tried because he didn't live the life you lived...

And when he tells you “I know I can't understand, but I can try, and if that doesn't work, can I hold your hand anyway? I love you” only the do you whisper “sorry” just a tad bit louder than a feather falling from a soaring bird.

Jaemin has a voice louder than that, loud enough to reach your soul locked inside your heart, so he asks "Are you crazy?"

He was teary eyed too, cradling your face and bumping your noses. "I love coffee enough to ruin my life for it."

You close your eyes, feeling him wrap you around in his hold, as Jaemin begins to thread his hands on your hair, laying you both on the couch. He presses a kiss to your temple, and he whispers:

"I love it when you love me."

He tells you everything he loves about you for the rest of the night. When you wake up in the morning, he was already awake, smiling at you sweetly.

"I love telling you ‘I love you’ first thing before I even say ‘good morning’."

Seasons and people. You were the stars and the sun; the you he knows can disappear once in a while but he patiently waits for you to come back. It's alright, he hides from bad days sometimes, too.

Seasons and people. You were the moon and you change phases as quick as you change your mind on your haircut but Jaemin loves you anyway. You order one thing and eat his meal instead, he likes feeling you from his plate so much he doesn't even notice.

Seasons and people. Sometimes you were beach day other days you were hurricane. Sometimes he can stand the heat, sometimes the wind scares him, but Jaemin stays.

Seasons and people. You were an autumn leaf, he keeps you on his book and takes you to every page despite the effort it takes; he knows you're trying hard not to fall apart so he holds you delicately.

Seasons and people. Jaemin never leaves.

#*squints at people* do you feel loved yet? fEEL IT. I LOVE YOU #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream blurbs #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #nct dream timestamps #jaemin imagines #jaemin x reader #jaemin drabbles #jaemin blurbs #jaemin timestamps #jaemin scenarios #hurt/comfort #fluff #:>

[dreamiesdotcom]

[3:31] You weren't the most beautiful, that was something you knew. And you weren't the smartest, the kindest, the brightest. You had your lows more than you had those ups and had the tendency to drag people under with you, in situations no apologies could make up to.

It isn't as bad as you make it out to be, but in your self deprecating haze, you're the worst person to ever exist on this planet.

But you hoped, anyway, fool you were. You ignored what you knew and believed love. Love that gave you hope that he'd choose you, despite your flaws, because he adores you, because you're perfectly carrying the part of you that was imperfect and flawlessly dealing with your inevitable flaws. You had hope.

When he kisses his best friend instead of you when asked who he finds utterly breathtaking, all that hope shattered.

What was there left to do? You were humiliated and heartbroken. You left, hearing a commotion you might know who started exactly three seconds after having closed the door. You go to your car and break.

It would've been much easier and preferred if there were tears on your face. You couldn't dwell on it much, though, as your train of thought was interrupted by Chenle opening the door to the shotgun seat and groans as he sits.

"Whaddya did?" You lazily hum, head still leaned on the steering wheel of your car. From your peripheral vision, however, you could see the slightest glimpse of his cut lip.

He smiles smugly, "Punched him in his ugly face."

A satisfied smirk appears on your face — as satisfied as you could manage to be; in other words, barely showing any emotion.

"Best friend rights, huh."

There you go again, saying those things. Breaking his heart.

It was like the punch he threw came back to him, effectively rendering him speechless as he stares longingly at your fluttering eyelids. He smiles wistfully.

But friends don't feel fond like this, don't stare so softly like this. They don't spend sleepless nights looking at the ceiling thinking about the other's face and how much they miss it.

"Yo, you okay? You look like you were the one you punched, bro." You attempt to joke, oblivious. God, why did he love such dumbass. You grimace, "That was probably a good swing, don't start feeling guilty on me now."

But he understands you have a certain hope for a certain someone that makes you unable to hear his knocks on the door of your heart. That, that place.

"Hell no," he grimaces back. "I mean, I earned the right. Know the nights I spent listening to you describing in the cheesiest way possible how he's your soulmate? Disgusting. And he does this? Fuck him."

You laugh, still oblivious to the hesitance in his eyes. You giggled, "Fuck 'im."

It was a lie. Even just on his part, you were never just friends. He was never just your best friend.

Though, he thinks, for now or for as long as fate allows him to — this is enough. As long as I know my way there, I might be fine.

As long as I could freely love you; even in silence.

#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream blurbs #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #nct dream timestamps #chenle #chenle x reader #chenle drabbles #chenle blurbs #chenle scenarios #chenle timestamps #chenle imagines #drabbles #he punches your shitty boyfriend thats it thats the fic

[dreamiesdotcom]

oh please it i hope you know how good your stories actually are. i especially loved the "nct dream 00's as kisses" mini series you did, you got no idea how much i was screaming when reading that renjun one, ESPECIALLY THAT LAST SENTENCE THAT WENT LIKE "renjun kisses like words, those he doesn't have to say to you for to know." like how did you come up THAT. but yeah i'm currently kinda fangirling so i'll just stop lol

ALSDJENSJJD I REALLY LIKE THAT ONE TOO 😳😳😳 thank you you got my heart going 💞💞💞 i feel very much like a kitten receiving headpats lol

#💌 #to moon

[dreamiesdotcom]

[4:58] Donghyuck was terrible a showing it, but he loved you the most in this life and undoubtedly the next. Though it didn't last as much as he wanted it to, fate entwined you even years after the break-up, just like now.

He sits in front of you at the cafe with all sorts of hope in his eyes

"Would you... want to try again?" He asks carefully, "Know me again? Go back to the start with me again?"

But all he gets is a kind smile.

"You're so beautiful of a memory that I am not sure if I want you to be any more than that."

You looked content. Content, but not happy. He wonders if it was his doing. If he took the luster from your smile when you saw him with another person, a nameless face now. Was it worth it? Did he have fun? He must've, an asshole he used to be.

The same he is now, thinking he could leave you broken like that and barge into the life you made for yourself if he so desires.

The world starts to be cruel to beautiful things once it realizes that they have the potential to be more beautiful than it is, so they ruin it before it can ruin the world. Or so he thinks.

He probably did the world a favor.

"It was nice five years," you smile wavers, looking away. "Let's leave it at that."

#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream blurbs #nct dream drabbles #nct 127 #nct 127 imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct 127 timestamps #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 blurns #nct dream timestamps #haechan #haechan drabbles #haechan blurbs #haechan x reader #haecham scenarios #haechan timestamps

[dreamiesdotcom]

i literally LOVE your work so much T-T especially as someone who's more into the angst/horror/fantasy with a teeny bit of realism concept or genre of writing, reading your little drabbles makes me so excited. it's a nice break from the cutesy stories out there! ONCE AGAIN I JUST LOVE YOUR WORK

yeah just wanted to say that really quick and welcome back from your mini break (?)

AKSJDSJHD first of all... *Inhales*

thank you sm 😳 honestly i badly needed that! hearing this kind of feedback after being sucked dry by life literally boosts me 💛 (i'msorryi'mjustreallyasuckerforfeedback—) but yass shsjjd omg literally thank you for existing I hope you get nice naps for the rest of your life

and also yes, im back everyone 😊 trying to get my new masterlist up and together, and getting back to my daily uploads 💛 thank you for staying with me despite being mia for so long!! xoxo

#💌 #to moon

[dreamiesdotcom]

[4:31] It took one look for Jaemin to be haunted by you, and after realizing this, he thinks, ‘damn it, moonchild.’

About the moon, the moon was bright tonight. He thinks he'd probably be able to draw a realistic moon with no reference, what with every night going out with Y/N to watch it. Ah, about Y/N...

Well the moon was prettier tonight than ever. It burned so bright it was like the sun, the pavement glowed gray and the streetlights couldn't be bothered to light up properly. Y/N, well, Y/N was... Y/N was just awesome.

"Hey, Jaemin, I think the moon looks tasty."

And sometimes, well, you tend to say weird stuff. But he thinks even that makes you awesome!

(How do you live, eternally glorified by your flaws? Like a stray brush stroke.)

You were someone Jaemin loves. Moonlight spilled on your skin like mercury. Except Mercury was a glorified mask and you were an open wound. Moonlight was the stage lighting to show the world your blooming doom.

"Does it?" He turns his attention at you, "Well I think you're hungry."

"Exactly, I'm treating you to the convenience store!" Bright smile. Do you get tired of them? Do you run out? Your eyes form crescents of its own and he thinks you're divine; what else could you do? No, no no, what could you even not do?

He never understood you. You were a framed painting to him; he was always watching you with the same devotion of a child who wants to know everything there is to know in the world, yearning to be the smartest person in the room. He loved you like the child he was, hiding behind his mother's warmth, reading people's faces.

You said you were hungry but you bought more food for him than you did yourself. He asked to pay but you glared at him. He could never understand you. You would give, and give, and would refuse to take.

Deep inside his mind he knew it was because you didn't want to seem selfish.

He could never expect anything from you but a blur from realism and romanticism. At once you were a magnifying glass and rose-colored lenses.

As you, to him, were a painting, he could try to understand you, but he would only be confused until he accepts that you were just there, made to be felt.

Like the sun, like a miracle — you could touch everyone but nothing touches you.

Had he really expected you to fall? You were awesome, divine, you were standing on the moon — it would be such a big height to fall from.

If you fall like meteors from the sky, you'd fall so quick he wouldn't know how to catch you.

So he watches you dance from afar, like a child watching a painting, hiding behind his mother's warmth, reading people's faces. You could touch him but he could never touch you.

He thinks, ‘damn it, moonchild.’

#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream blurbs #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #nct dream timestamps #jaemin #jaemin drabble #jaemin imagines #jaemin blurbs #jaemin drabbles #jaemin scenarios #jaemin timestamps #jaemin x reader

[dreamiesdotcom]

[4:39] Sometimes moving on doesn't even feel like moving on. Sometimes it just... does the work. Like you wake up and make coffee and you bring out one mug, you prepare a breakfast for one. You don't think of how there used to sit in front of you someone you held very much dear during this time of the day. You don't even wait for your phone to delightfully ring with a call intended to wish you a good morning.

You just stop, somehow. You don't even try to. One day just comes and you don't let your morning revolve around them, don't let your thoughts be clouded by the image of them the whole day. They stop being a big part of your present. You forgive yourself. You don't wait for their apology, nor do you wish to plague their thoughts. You just let go.

Plain and simple.

Your friends looks at you and smiles, "You have found love yet?"

Maybe not so plain and simple after all.

It makes you smile, because the bitterness in your heart wants to know what nerve she's had that you lacked because after all these years, she can look at you like that and smile? Like you were friends? Like she can't basically hear your thoughts? Like you weren't thinking 'oh yeah, I did, long ago. But hey, isn't it nice to know you're still together after you stole him from me!' so loud that you didn't have to speak at all?

You had lots to say, lots you want to do.

But all you could manage is a soft utter of 'no.'

Because maybe, you think, you haven't really moved on like you think you did, after all.

And, that's what fucks you up the most. The possibility that maybe, time didn't heal your wounds. Time made you forget details slowly enough that you don't feel the image dispersing, like a leech sucking the memories that made everything so beautiful to live and so painful to look back to.

It's not that you didn't care.

It's not that you moved on.

It's that you haven't seen the sight of what you cared about so much, haven't heard the voice that held you back so long.

You never stopped caring. You never strayed from that spot he left you in years ago.

Because at the glimpse of his, Lee Jeno's, face in a crowded room, you still feel yourself crumble.

#i crUMBLE COMPLETELY WHEN YOU CRY #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream blurbs #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #nct dream angst #jeno #jeno x reader #jeno drabbles #jeno blurbs #jeno imagines #jeno timestamps #somehow at the end line i was internally screaming to 505 #catch me under the desk eating m&ms

[dreamiesdotcom]

[03:04p.m] At the old school building. Third floor, music room; a haunted house of a girl hummed in silence, beautiful face lit by afternoon sun rays.

Renjun would recklessly open the door and let it slam shut. Always. With no fail. It startles you and your heart speeds up in shock. He'd grumble your name harshly, as though it was a curse, and he'd lay on the wooden floor as you sung.

You sung horribly. He didn't know if that was true or another one of his fake realities, but your voice made him want to cry, and not because it was beautiful.

And yet, you were heartwarming.

He's sure he heard that song before — in a dream, or in a past life. It warmed his heart to see you sing it so happy. Every afternoon, this is his world; for the lunch break, his life is better. He'd never admit it, but it makes him fall asleep feeling so loved.

He hopes you never sing in tune.

"Are you falling asleep again, Renjun?" Your voice was light, no louder than the leaves dancing in the wind.

"Not if you keep chatting like that," he grunts. "So annoying."

Your laughter was unladylike, but hearing it felt like the sound of twinkling stars at night, if they had a sound at all. You declared, "Just you see! One day I will make you fall so hard for me, you'll break down when I leave!"

A smirk curls on his lips, but it was hidden by his blazer, which he put over his head.

Then, like the soft crashing of waves in a faint recollection of his childhood, he heard the smile in your voice.

"I won't leave, though. I won't have to, right? You won't make me leave."

He tugs his blazer halfway down his face, revealing his eyes. He watched your sparkling gaze, glimmering with innocence.

"You don't hate me enough to make me leave, right?"

Beautiful as you were, Renjun thought of you as an open wound, waiting for pain to romanticize; for someone to love so hard that even until their fingers turn into knives, you call your blood the shade of love.

You were a murder case just waiting to happen.

Renjun could never tell anyone how, why, or when he fell in love you. He could clearly tell them, though, how much he wanted to keep you close. To fall asleep — in his bedroom, not in this dust-scented music room — and be made of nothing else but your warmth, your scent, and your off-key singing.

There was a sacred room in the old school building. In the third floor, where miracles bloomed and a girl, livelier than life, sat on the floor by the piano.

He opens the door and calls your name tenderly. He knew the silence and its meaning, yet he asked again, again; there was a stubborn phantom in his haunted house heart, whispering that you didn't mean what you said.

"I need to go now."

That you'd come back like all the last times.

"I need to leave because you would ruin me."

That you'd trace the bruises in his knuckles and call them galaxies.

"I've learned that not everything that makes your heart beat faster is called love."

That... you didn't actually leave him.

Right?

You didn't leave him, right?

Why is he asking this question? Of course you didn't! People only ask questions when they're unsure, and he's pretty damn sure—

"Y/N? You're here, right?" His answer was silence.

This once, Renjun closes the door so softly that the 'click' of the doorknob was no louder of a sound than a teardrop falling.

#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream blurbs #nct dream drabbles #nct dream angst #nct dream scenarios #renjun #renjun x reader #renjun imagines #renjun drabbles #renjun blurbs #renjun timestamps #renjun scenarios #renjun angst

[dreamiesdotcom]

[01:05] His eyes weren't blue but whenever your eyes make contact, you are washed away by ocean waves.

Something in you knew that in life, all you'll ever leave are folded stars contained in a jar.

All your time was spent making sense of the words you wrote on strips of paper before foding it. All your words dedicated to a singular boy. An improper muse. Unfounded lover. If you put all the stars together it would make him, and he would be a book you wrote; your chapter would be called Memoirs of Depravity.

This relationship was tainted in all the worst ways possible, yet all was right as he holds you in his arms, threading a hand through your hair.

"Hey, Y/N," Mark's sleepy voice was the only sound to break the silence of the night. He disrupts nature, he allows himself where he pleases, he makes you love him. "When would you leave?"

"I'm in my house so..." You humorlessly laugh, curling up against him. The bed was so big. You felt alone in such big bed.

Was it the bed or his arms that made you feel so devastatingly alone?

"I don't know what to do, I love you so much. I know love. I write songs about love. I've loved before. I never thought I could have this much of it — there's so much love in me for you — and I don't know," it was hard to know if this was a line from a movie or his heart. Either way yours raced. "I think it's you. It has to be you. All of me belongs to you, and I would have to lie to myself to love someone more than I love you."

In movies, this would be a confession, or a proposal. This wasn't a movie. This was reality about laying in bed with a boy with ocean eyes that weren't blue, and someone whose feelings are trapped somewhere inside a bottle.

"But?"

There had to be a but. There was always a but. There needs to be something, something that'll go wrong. Something that will set the house aflame because even though the fireplace was enough, one of you is only able to love as strong as fire and the other as gentle as ocean waves on a windless day.

"Y/N, at least you..." His arms that were holding you release you, instead spreading on the bed as you remained clinging to his shirt. "Wouldn't you choose me, over everything else that makes me who I'm supposed to be?"

In your book, you were the Sun. Nobody could contain you. You shine so bright that you burn even yourself. You always wake up and hope for another day.

"I always choose you," you let go of his shirt, turning your back to his side and curling up into your own warmth, "It's you who could never choose me."

Lover, you call him inside folded stars. When you break my heart, I feel like the sun. I am warm. Perhaps too warm. So warm that I often end up underwater.

Lover, when you break my heart, I am the Sun. I will leave for tonight and rise up tomorrow, ready to love you again — and you would call me another day, a new chance, you would call me hope. Hope.

I hope tomorrow is the day you stop breaking my heart.

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[dreamiesdotcom]

[10:34 a.m] People would call her Y/N. Jaemin calls her Love.

Love had the most beautiful eyes, always shimmering like someone spilled golden glitter in them. Love's cheeks were always inviting, and don't even get him started on Love's lips — they were their own shade of rose and they were curled up in a smile, his favorite smile— Love was laughing at him.

"What the hell is this?" You giggled, holding his 'gift' in your palm, your other hand setting down your iced drink.

He pouts, "It's a rock."

"Is this your way of telling me that I am dense, or are you asking me for permission to try and crack this open on my head like an egg?"

Love was funny. Love always jokes here and there, making sure that it's at the worst timing ever.

"It's not just a rock, it's a pretty rock! Plus, look at those weird curves, doesn't it look like our initials? Look, this one looks like a star—!" He was cut off from his rambling.

Why had he been so much of a fool? You were beautiful. You were a wonder of a person, a goddess of a girl. You deserved more than palaces of promises and golden kisses; you deserved galaxies and diamonds and he wonders if he could still call you 'Love'.

Love makes Jaemin feel a mixture of 'I'm glad you're mine' and 'Why did you choose me?' and it didn't make sense.

Jaemin was confident, so casual that he comes off as flirty. And maybe he was flirty. But alas, Love, no matter how confident he was, makes him feel inferior. Who knows why or how, or if that was what it was at all.

There was a cold press against his lips, and a hint of your favorite drink left alongside a little stain of your flavored lip balm. His entire face flushes red and he realizes that it couldn't be helped.

It was just the truth of all fates. Fire loves paper to the point where it smothers it with warmth to the point of nothingness, the lady who lives across was widowed and childless having forgotten most of her early years but could recall her first love at just the sight of daffodils, and Jaemin was only one of the sunflowers who looked up to the Sun that is named Y/N —

"Thank you, Jaemin, love," you whisper, pressing a kiss on his forehead and whispering 'just an extra for always being so thoughtful'.

— and Jaemin was the only one Sunflower the Sun would care for like this.

The Sun he calls Love.

He smiles, wordlessly kissing you back.

Other people would call him Jaemin — the Sun calls him Love in return.

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