jacksgreysays - Tumblr blog

jacksgreysays · 3 days

Text

Extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of the Watcher situation, (2024-04-24)

So this is a relatively belated post — several days after the initial “Goodbye Youtube” and one day after the “An Update” videos — and surely by this point there are more interesting/insightful op-eds (both in written form and video form, especially penguinz0’s fairly objective POV as, essentially, a YouTube expert) but there is something about the Watcher situation that made my brain itch. Thus, I wanted to write about it in order to make sense of it all as well as get into a philosophy that seems to be haunting me in recent years and which I think applies greatly here.

This may seem completely out of left field considering 1) definitely not fanfiction and 2) about Watcher Entertainment, a YouTube channel which—as far as this tumblr is concerned—I’ve not engaged with whatsoever, but I don’t know where else I would put this, and weirdly enough I think the general tumblr response to this whole predicament is maybe the… if not objective… then at least, most thoughtful?—or, perhaps, least immediately reactive?—amongst the various social media platforms, that I think some people might appreciate this anyway.

In terms of my relevant background: I majored in Management Science (which is just a fancy way of saying Economics + Business + Accounting because they are, weirdly enough, separate things) and minored in Film Studies in school, I am currently working in the stage tech industry (which, I know, is obviously different from film/video industry), and I like to think I am a fan/consumer of a wide variety of independent creators, some of whom I am lucky enough to be able to afford being a patron/subscriber. I won’t go into all of them—because it is a lot—but there are four in particular whose business models I want to analyze in comparison to Watcher’s admitted blunder:

A) RocketJump (known for Video Game High School and Anime Crimes Division; the core group which turned into the podcast Story Break, then became Dungeons and Daddies) B) Dropout (formerly College Humor, we’ll get into their discography later) C) Drawfee (previously an offshoot of College Humor, now fully independent) D) Corridor Digital (used to be mostly behind the scenes of how VFX studios work, have since become a mostly original content creator)

I will say, right off the bat, I am a patron of Drawfee as well as Dungeons and Daddies, and I am a subscriber to Dropout. I am not subscribed to Corridor Digital’s streamer, which I will get into why later. I understand that being able to sustain those two patronages and one subscription is a luxury that not everyone can afford and so my point of view is already skewed by being such a person who could theoretically afford another streaming service if I so chose. I also acknowledge that many fans of Watcher are not in similarly financially secure places as I am and that regardless of the business model, any monetization that comes from fans would have been a rough ask. However, I wanted to go into this essay in a way that accepts Watcher’s statement—that they needed more funding—in relatively good faith rather than assuming the worst (although that is another point I’ll get into later, largely related to the philosophy I brought up earlier.)

All four of the above listed content creators started or, at least, hit their stride on YouTube:

RocketJump and College Humor were, if not household names, then the digital equivalent of it in the “early days of YouTube.” They were part of the wave of content creators that made YouTube seem less like a bunch of eccentrics with cameras making videos on the side and more like a viable way to support yourself/your team with the art you create.

RocketJump’s Video Game High School went from short (less than 10 minutes) minimal location episodes in season one, to 30 minute plus episodes with full on fight scenes and car explosions by season three thanks to a Monster Energy brand deal. They also had two seasons of Anime Crimes Division, a literal TV quality show, thanks to a Crunchy Roll sponsorship. Unfortunately, RocketJump shut down not long after (their videos are still up on YouTube but they obviously don’t add anything new) but the core creative team behind that have been involved in several projects outside of YouTube (Dimension 404 on Hulu being one of the biggest ones so far) including the podcast Story Break (part of the Maximum Fun network) and now the independent podcast Dungeons and Daddies, the episodes of the main campaigns which are free with ads or, for patrons, ad-less along with additional mini-campaigns and other benefits.

I will say, during RocketJump’s decline, they did try their best to keep going. The partnerships with Monster Energy and Crunchy Roll were the big swings to get the funding to make those TV quality shows they wanted. I believe they lucked out with those brands in particular, or, at least, those brands didn’t seem to inhibit the creative process or ask too much of them that it felt like “selling out” but I also don’t have insight into why they didn’t pursue this model of, essentially, very weird but interesting season long commercials. Maybe they just couldn't find the right brands or maybe they did feel like it was too stifling. Regardless, before they shut down completely, they did also downsize—moving out of the actual city of Los Angeles over to Buena Park. Which is in Los Angeles county, and basically counts as LA still, but is way cheaper than literal Hollywood real estate. (I should have added to my relevant background that I’m born and raised LA county, and have relatives and friends in the film/movie industry, so trust me when I say literal Hollywood/city of Los Angeles is so overrated and unnecessarily expensive. There is a reason why LA traffic is the worst and it’s because everyone is commuting INTO the city. Respectfully and with affection, no one should live there. No one’s start up should be located there.) Obviously the downsizing didn’t necessarily work for RocketJump, but they also didn’t have multiple successful revenue streams the way that Watcher currently does.

In contrast, College Humor was acquired by InterActiveCorp and was turned into CH Media which was three pronged: College Humor, Drawfee, and Dorkly. In 2018 they made Dropout, which had exclusive content separate from their YouTube videos which involved all three prongs. Then some financial shenanigans happened early 2020—IAC withdrew their funding—and there were a bunch of layoffs right before the pandemic which extremely sucked. It has been stated by multiple people involved that it was basically a miracle that Dropout survived through all of that, but there were definitely some sacrifices along the way to make that happen. Currently, Dropout seems to be thriving with mostly exclusive content with the occasional “first episode of a season” posted to YouTube, OR if Dimension 20 is doing a “sequel season” in an already established campaign they will put the entirety of the previous season on YouTube.

IAC withdrawing their funding did put CH Media in a bind. They had to layoff a lot of people right before pandemic and, understandably, a lot of trauma was had. There were also weird issues with who controlled certain IPs/brands/digital assets (I mostly come at this from a Drawfee POV, it took several years for them to own the Drawga series and be allowed to host all of the episodes on their YouTube, and there was also something about the sound file for their opening animation?) but mainly the difference is what kind of content they generate. Originally Dropout had multiple scripted shows with high budgets and pretty cool effects/animations/stunts (Troopers, Kingpin Katie, Gods of Food, Ultramechatron Team Go!, Cartoon Hell, and WTF 101) whereas now almost all of their shows are variations of improv comedians being put into different scenarios or given different prompts. I’m not just talking about Game Changer and Make Some Noise, because Dimension 20 and Um, Actually also technically fall under that description as well. Which is not to say that these shows are worse than the scripted shows—I subscribe to Dropout, so clearly I’m a fan of their current shows—and the budgets for them have since increased to resemble, if not match, those early shows, but it is a noticeable shift in their content creation strategy as a response to the lack of IAC funding. And I will say: Dropout releases at least three videos a week if not more and at least two of those are long form at 30 minutes plus (Dimension 20 being the longest, of course.)

So, these first two business models are not really the most applicable to Watcher Entertainment considering their origin was to get away from Buzzfeed—they’re probably not keen to be partnered with or purchased by a larger company—but there are some aspects to both that I believe are valuable in at least showing the strategy in how these former YouTube creators could successfully extract themselves from YouTube or how they still utilize YouTube even if it is not their main hosting platform or revenue stream.

Then there is Drawfee and Corridor Digital, both of whom are currently—if not primarily—on YouTube, whose situations are more comparable to what I believe are Watcher’s goals.

Drawfee had to rebuild themselves like a phoenix from the ashes of the CH Media layoff during the beginning/worst of the pandemic. Side note: I’m happy that Nathan (one of the four main artists of the current Drawfee team) at least has forgiven(? or let bygones be bygones) Dropout enough to be on an episode of Game Changer (although I will say that this happened after Drawga was “returned” to Drawfee, and after Dropout officially split from College Humor as a brand.) All that being said, Drawfee was a team of four artists plus their editor who wanted to stick together but basically had all of their support system taken away from them. They took a bit of a break to assess their goals and options, announced a patreon with several tiers with great perks, and stuck to their upload schedule. In addition to two videos a week, they also stream on Twitch weekly, have a patron only stream once a month, and a draw class (for one of the higher tiers) once month. After asking their patrons on the relevant tiers if they were okay with it, they began releasing the patron only stream and the draw class to the general public for free after a month. The patreon perks also include things like merch discount codes, high quality PNGs of the final rendered art, access to the draw class with live interaction/critique, and a commission from the artist of your choice. The only “ads” they run are for their own patreon and merch store and, even then, they’re usually at the end of the videos with a credit scroll of the patron names during their exit banter.

Admittedly, they only have MAYBE eight employees—that’s including their video editor(s?) and their discord mod(s?)—with the main four artists doubling/tripling up duties as additional video editors, CFO, and marketing/merch leads. It’s a very streamlined crew and their production costs are not very high since it’s mostly screen recording of their drawings with their audio recording overlayed onto that footage. Although the video editors do sometimes have clever cuts to relevant images depending on their vamping. Sometimes they will have a guest artist but, again, since it’s screen and audio recordings, there’s no travel/housing costs. So, very minimal expenses due to low production costs and small crew but, again, their only revenue source is the patreon/merch, they don’t do outside ads and they very rarely do live shows.

Corridor Digital is, I think, the most applicable to what Watcher would ideally do, which I suppose is somewhat ironic for this essay in particular considering they’re the only one of the four that I don’t financially support. They have two YouTube channels: their main one being where they show the “final product” videos, but I believe their Corridor Crew channel which started primarily as behind the scenes type of videos is where most of their views come from. Especially their React series (VFX artists, Stuntmen, and Animators React etc.) On Corridor Crew they usually upload two videos a week — one which is a React and the other which goes into fun projects/challenges (involving VFX or not) or using VFX to explain scientific concepts — as well as the first episodes of their exclusive content on their streamer. Also behind that paywall are longer and ad-less versions of the videos on YouTube. They also have merch. All of them have merch, I don’t know why I’m stating that. They don’t have a patreon as far as I know, but I also don’t know if their subscription to their website comes with similar perks like discounted merch or something similar.

Anyway, their studio seems to be about 15 to 20 people — not all of them are VFX artists, of course. I believe they have higher equipment costs than Watcher since, understandably, Corridor has to be on the cutting edge of video editing technology. They do occasionally travel for shoots, but it doesn’t require big teams, and that’s only when the local locations available to them don’t match the requirements for the “final product” videos. Otherwise most of their videos are set in the studio or in the alleyway outside their studio in Los Angeles (the city itself, not just the greater county, though they are in a rougher and thus probably cheaper part of Los Angeles). I personally don’t subscribe to their website primarily because their exclusive shows don’t appeal to me—either they’re too technical or a little too dry; to be fair, most of them are VFX artists first before they are performers—and I don’t particularly feel the need to see the extended cuts of the videos uploaded on YouTube. Also I sometimes get a little bummed out by their lack of diversity.

All of this to say, from these four different business models, a bespoke Frankenstein business model for Watcher could be cobbled together. But also, even with that bespoke Frankenstein, there are some changes that Watcher would have to make: primarily their upload schedule. As of right now, I think they do MAYBE one video a week if not, perhaps, one video every TWO weeks. If they want a monthly subscription model, their rate of content generation would ideally be higher to double/quadruple their current upload rate. Obviously they want to create videos with higher production value, but at that rate of generation, something’s got to give: supplement their TV quality shows with either a behind the scenes type series or an increase of “we get four episodes out of Shane and Ryan get increasingly drunk in someone’s backyard” or something similar. Leaning into shows like Worth A Shot (the first season in which Ricky Wang makes cocktails based on a random ingredient, the second season threw in some competitive aspects which I didn’t really find necessary) or the Beatdown which has relatively low production costs (no travel, one location, maybe two cameras at most therefore smaller crew requirements) but a higher polished look. Otherwise, for a separate streaming subscription service, 2-4 videos a month is not going to cut it.

As of right now they probably can’t back out of the separate streaming subscription service because those set ups usually require some level of contract/paying for servers for the website and whatever is hosting their videos for a set amount of time. However, what really strikes me is that I literally didn’t know they had a patreon until I scrolled through the comments of the first Goodbye Youtube video. Maybe it’s been linked "tactfully" in the descriptions of videos, but considering they claim to be lacking in funds, the fact that they weren’t plugging their patreon at the end of every video is not just strange, but also irresponsible considering they do have 25 employees that they don’t want to layoff.

Additionally, I understand artists needing to be in a space that promotes creativity, but there are cheaper places that must be comparable that aren’t in literal Hollywood. It’s an unnecessary expense. On top of that, other people have already brought up that it was fairly crass to introduce this paywall, attributing it to the increased production costs, when the next planned “new series” is a reboot of an old Buzzfeed series in which people travel and eat expensive food. I’m not even talking about the personal expenses of Steven, Shane, and Ryan; what kind of car they drive or the cost of their wedding venue doesn’t matter on a business model basis.

But getting back to the patreon: again, I literally didn’t know they had one. I’m looking over their tiers— they have $5, $10, $25, and $100 — and for the most part they seem okay, although I think they have more to offer that wouldn’t necessarily cost them more. Ie, something that has baffled me for a while: the fact they don’t sell the mp3s of the Puppet History songs; they already exist and it doesn’t cost them anything additional because they don’t need to put it on physical media. Or maybe they do and they’re not marketing it similarly to how they weren’t overtly marketing their patreon?

And, okay, maybe they didn’t want to seem desperate — in the early days of Dropout and independent Drawfee, they both were very blatant in getting people to subscribe/join their patreon. As they should be. Desperation maybe doesn’t look cool and sexy, but it is earnest in a way that conveys equal effort that fans who can afford it would want to see. The fact that we weren’t getting rotating ten second clips of Steven, Shane, and Ryan asking people to join the patreon at the end of every video — even if its the same clip every three videos — is wild. And yes, the $25 tier includes a shoutout every 3 months on Watcher Weekly+ (which I don't quite understand what that is,) but the fact that they weren’t doing a quick post movie credits scroll of all the patreon names is, again, wild. Once you have that initial list, it’s not too difficult to add any new names that join and put that title overlay on top of, again, those nonexistent ten second clips of the three.

As others have already stated, it seems like an extreme mismanagement of their existing successful revenue streams, if they are actually struggling to pay all of their employees. Which goes into the philosophy part of this essay: don’t assume malice when it might just be incompetence. It’s something that I have to remind myself of often because I do get paranoid about people’s intentions sometimes and I have to check myself. Am I being overly suspicious of what might be just an honest mistake? Am I assigning ill will to an action just because it inconvenienced me?

Yes, of course, a lot of this situation could be misconstrued as straight up greed. But, also, Watcher is a relatively young company, helmed by three people who certainly don’t have experience running their own company:

They like to travel. They like to bring a full crew around with them. They’re renting out a shiny office in the heart of Hollywood where everyone knows is where real show biz happens. They’re adding more employees to the team because surely more people means better. And they want better productions values because the prettier the videos the more people will like them right?

It’s naive. It’s a level of inexperience combined with giving responsibility to officers whose main priority is to entertain. And if that means entertaining themselves and their staff, then they might not know the difference. It’s the kind of mistake that first time managers make—trying to prioritize fun over getting the job done. Prioritizing making friends with their employees rather than making sure the work the employees put in is equal to (or greater than) what you spend on them whether that is in paycheck or bringing them to cool locations for fun shoots. It’s a mistake anyone can make, it's just unfortunate that they made this mistake in front of millions of people. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s solely a greed induced cash grab.

But then comes the catch-22 of the philosophy—is it worse to assume incompetence than it is to assume malice? Or, in this case, greed. Especially for the heads of a company that holds the livelihoods of 25 employees in their hands. At what point does it not matter if it’s incompetence or greed if the end result is the same?

Is it better to think that Watcher knew about the various other business models of independent creators and just ignored the efforts put into achieving those successes or is it better to think that they didn’t know and just stumbled into one of the worst moves they could have done. Again, other people have mentioned that Great Mythical Morning—which Watcher has had multiple collaborations with—has managed to make the YouTube subscription/tier system work to the point that they can sustain themselves as well as spinoff channels. Is it incompetence or greed that led to Watcher thinking they could bypass that completely in less time and with less content?

I’ve been at this mess of an essay for several hours when I should have been asleep. Ultimately I want to say, regardless of incompetence or greed… yes, Steven is CEO and yes he is ultimately the one who makes the final call but it is disheartening to see the pointed vitriol at Steven specifically and the infantilizing of Shane and Ryan in comparison. Either they’re all silly uwu boys who are messing around not knowing how to run a company, or they’re all complicit in a crass cash grab in an extremely busted economy.

I think what’s most frustrating to me in all this is that there were so many other channels and creators who have literally walked this path before them and, again, whether through incompetence or greed or arrogance, for them to just ignore it… It’s not betrayal because I don’t know them and so there’s no relationship to betray, it’s just so inefficient and convoluted that I don’t understand. Or, no, even if it was greed, it’s an incompetent greed because at least pure greed would have been pushing that patreon every second they could. Their ratio of YouTube subscribers to patreon members is less than 1% and I bet that’s because a lot of their audience, like me, literally didn’t know they had a patreon. I probably would have become a patreon member of theirs had I known earlier, ESPECIALLY if it included access to those Puppet History songs. Drawfee has half as many YouTube subscribers and nearly double the patreon members as Watcher. I’m just baffled, is all, and maybe by this point sleep deprived.

Anyway. That’s my extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of this situation.

Edit (several hours later after some sleep): I forgot to mention, because they did walk this back almost immediately, even before their "An Update" video, but I believe the original plan was to put EVERYTHING behind that paywall and pull their content from YouTube entirely. Which is, again, extremely baffling, because if ALL of their content is behind a paywall, how would they possibly gain new fans? Even if all of their current fans were able and willing to pay for their separate subscription streaming service, how would a brand new person even stumble on their content enough to want to subscribe if there wasn't a significant amount of "proof of value" free content on YouTube? Again, extremely baffling, and a level of incompetence that overshadows a "cunning" greed. But, like I said earlier, they did walk this decision back almost immediately. If I've misunderstood this and that was never their plan, please let me know, I don't want to be spreading misinformation in a situation that is already so convoluted.

#jacksgreyson #writing #nonfiction #essay #watcher #op-ed #youtube #drawfee #corridor digital #dropout #rocketjump #dungeons and daddies

42 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 4 days

Note

to clarify on my previous prompt: I was thinking something like 5 times Shikako used something she SHOULD NOT HAVE, and one time she actually managed to get some food (it usually gets eaten instantly)

... what previous prompt are you talking about, anon?

#jacksgreyson #anonymous #asks #answers

0 notes

jacksgreysays · 5 days

Note

Post garden-split leads to Shikako taking up acting probably forking off of first primadonna post rather than bleakAU but because gardens! Bleak in its own unique way - anonymous

Ok, I think I see why you mention primadonna in the sense that this is a Shikako that leans hard into acting/deception skills, but I don't think it really relates to my specific sandbox that I call "Primadonna 'verse."

Hm... so what I'm imagining from your prompt is a Shikako that... ok, similarly related to the various verses in the garden!verse post in which EVERY universe that has a mortal Shikako will eventually get its own post-Split Gardens!Shikako...

In a world SO close to the one she just left, so ALMOST the place she truly wants to go, a post-Split Gardens!Shikako ends up in Land of the Moon where native!Shikako almost but not quite single-handedly besieged a castle and reversed a coup. Or, rather, native!Shikako succeeded but died in the process. And, look, Land of the Moon was, what, only a few weeks before the Land of Hot Springs and thwarting Jashin and the endless multiverse garden jumping--this is almost her world, right? Just a few months before? She could just... slip in there. Just tuck herself right in where the native!Shikako left a hole that no one was around to notice being filled in with a... slightly different Shikako.

A slightly different Shikako that has a little bit more techniques than before (although hasn't she always been secretive about her newest techniques?) A slightly different Shikako that seems a little bit older, a little bit more detached, a little bit more prone to swift solutions over kinder handling (but no one expected to solo besiege a castle and reverse a coup either, and that was native!Shikako, not this new, slightly different Shikako)

Shikako's finally almost home.

... but maybe this PSG!Shikako does feel a little guilty. This world's Shikako will never be mourned because as far as everyone is concerned, she never died. She just changed, understandably, from the trauma and stress of the Land of the Moon mission.

But PSG!Shikako knows. And something something the metaphors of cuckoo birds and imposter syndrome and how even though native!Shikako was lying to her loved ones (how could she possibly explain being reborn into an anime?) PSG!Shikako is now lying twice over. Stealing her life like slipping on someone else's clothes and playing pretend that everything is fine.

So this Shikako would still continue onwards--she bypasses the Jashin incident entirely by taking out the priests and altering their village-wide seal before they even start the ritual--but maybe she pulls away from everyone out of guilt. Maybe, in realizing she is a liar anyway, decides to take the Director up on his offer for a Princess Fuun spinoff. And that's a success that doesn't involve stealing native!Shikako's life, so she just keeps doing it--more movies that take her away from Konoha, where her lying isn't so guilt inducing, where at least everyone is in on the playing pretend as opposed to just her biting everything down so as not to hurt her loved ones.

... it's still not quite "my" Primadonna 'verse, but I think that's how I would do a Primadonna-esque Gardens 'verse and it's also almost as bleak :D

Psst My muse decided to be the bad decision fairy: A Primadona Garden AU Basically Garden!Shikako figured out what happened to Native!Shikako and nopes out of Kohona or maybe Danzo psychological warfare ghost haunting idk? But heavily inspired by the lyrics "All she ever wanted was the world" theme wise. Maybe using garden angst to step into the disparate lives of characters and their desires??

Sorry, anonymous, can you clarify this for me?

It mostly seems like a Garden 'verse concept, not really a Primadonna 'verse concept. Or, rather, I'm not sure where the Primadonna 'verse part comes in?

#jacksgreyson #anonymous #reblog #asks #answers #prompt response #the many gardens of shikabane-hime #primadonna girl (says no thank you)#dreaming of sunshine #shikako nara

9 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 6 days

Note

Sorry, anonymous, can you clarify this for me?

It mostly seems like a Garden 'verse concept, not really a Primadonna 'verse concept. Or, rather, I'm not sure where the Primadonna 'verse part comes in?

#jacksgreyson #anonymous #asks #answers #prompt response #the many gardens of shikabane-hime

9 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 6 days

Text

I apologize for my immediate instinct to make melodramatic angst for this character but:

Oh, to be a prince in the Princess Zelda lineage and see how your kingdom is struggling but you can't do anything because YOU aren't the reincarnation of your family's chosen one, can only watch your little sister be pressured by your father, your kingdom, the oncoming Calamity. The goddesses do not respond to her prayers, but they don't even hear yours.

(Likewise, the Hero of Hyrule is for the kingdom, for Princess Zelda, not for you)

..just went through old stuff and i found an old botw oc who’s zelda’s big brother. The only thing written abt him was that he died and did not survive the calamity also he was in love with link lmfao.

#jacksgreyson #catmanbowser #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #reblog #fanfiction #writing

91 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 12 days

Text

All of these are fantastic, but what REALLY hits me is the second to last:

"Shikako can't go to a world with a Shikako in it. This world's Shikako just died."

Because, without getting too looped on itself, EVERY world that has a mortal Shikako in it will eventually have a Gardens!verse copy sent to it.

A Shikako that dies from Kyuubi's chakra as a baby? Now YOU get a multiversally powerful teen(?) Shikako.

A Shikako that dies from old age, surrounded by loved ones? Now YOU get a multiversally powerful teen(?) Shikako.

A Shikako that dies on an ANBU mission as a teenager? Now YOU get a multiversally powerful teen(?) Shikako.

It goes from Shikako's existence being so rare in the multiverse (maybe her parents never met and fell in love, or if they did maybe they only had Shikamaru and not twins, or if they did then maybe she died during the Kyuubi Attack or during the many chakra hypersensitivity attacks in her youth or an assassination meant to weaken the Jounin Commander or in an attempt to prevent the Uchiha Massacre or during the Wave Mission or during the Konoha Chuunin Exams or during any mission onwards onwards) to Shikako's existence being the MOST abundant in the multiverse.

Tbh, though, for funsies, I like to imagine a Shikako that dies from old age having live life to the fullest and having fixed or helped to fix a majority of the world's problems and then suddenly a Gardens!verse teen(?) just pops up and everyone just... well... this might as well happen? She did say something like this was technically possible but statistically improbable, but she also did a lot of statistically improbably stuff so... we will mourn the Shikako that passed and let this new little(?) Shikako wander around and enjoy the benefits of a society that doesn't suck as much as it did X decades ago.

various verses in the garden!verse

So. Shikako is traveling from the temple of Jashin to Konoha to the Dead Wastes. Over abd over again. Sometimes there's immedite clues she's not home yet, so she skips the Konoha stop. Before she sends a shikako to everywhere there isn't a shikako there's a lot of things she could run into. These are just some ideas I haven't seen done yet, feel free to use them as you'd like.

Uzumaki Kushina whose been kidnapped by Kumo nin and Namikaze Minato is chasing them. Fallowing chakra trails is more efficient then fallowing trails of hair.

That one kumo nin actually made it out of the village with little Hinata. He won't make it past shikako.

Kabuto is infiltrating the local hidden village for ROOT. shikako has to walk past him and not panic.

The deaths of Senju Nawaki and the rest of his genin team happen during one of the early wars. Running into explosions is preventable.

Shikako v. The sage of six paths and his brother. A nice meeting or a fight? That depends on how they take the perversions of their teachings.

shikako and baby biju. She'll need a camera. After all the hell she goes through, shikako deserves evidence kurama likes chin skritches, that ibosu is the best, and that the one tail was a cry baby.

The corpse princess is the baddest thing in the multiverse. The senju and uchiha clans during the waring clan peroid? Not so much.

The first time minato tried to help her. She just helped prevent his sons kidnapping, his wifes death, his death. He can look at a seal for her. But what she did is beyond him.

Shikako cant go to a world with a shikako in it. This worlds shikako just died.

shikako v warring clan era nara. Shikako sends the clan head so far into the black ameago has to take over early.

#jacksgreyson #ace-4-fuck #reblog #dreaming of sunshine #the many gardens of shikabane-hime #shikako nara

87 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 17 days

Note

"Dad watches her the same way he does that one particular buck who keeps getting his antlers stuck in the same tree. Confused, but almost impressed." I forgot the origin of that! But it really stuck in the mind, lol

Yes, the original is so silly in comparison to what I've wrought upon it that some of the lines do get lost. I forgot that I had Ino's mom treat Shikaku in exactly the same way Ino does to Shikako.

#jacksgreyson #loveelemental #review response #primadonna girl (says no thank you)

5 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 18 days

Note

What was the original Primadona verse? Before the Bleakness, it was mostly just that Shikako found satisfaction in making art or something, right? I don't quite remember.

I'll be honest there wasn't necessarily much in the "original" Primadonna 'verse -- in the sense that, the first one established the beginning of Shikako's (reluctant) acting career, the second was a tiny three sentence fic building off of that, and then the third one went straight into BLEAK FUTURE FIC and basically set the foundation for all other primadonna installations from then on

Those were all several years ago, so it totally makes sense if that disappeared from memory, lol.

#jacksgreyson #loveelemental #links #fanfiction #dreaming of sunshine #primadonna girl (says no thank you)

2 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 23 days

Text

Bleak!primadonna AU brainrot continues (2024-04-04)

… I think I’m just becoming the blog of hyper-niche DoS future fic because… my brain… still rotting… from bleak!primadonna AU. At this point, I think there is no NOT!bleak primadonna AU, so maybe the bleakness doesn’t have to be specified anymore. The primadonna ‘verse, as it were….

ANYWAY, JUST BEEN THINKING ABOUT HOW EXTERNAL WOMB STUFF (as originated by loveelemental and further developed by damnsmartblueboxes) AND HOW THE POLITICS OF THAT WOULD OR WOULDN’T AFFECT SOME THINGS.

Because, like, I try to adopt as much of DoS fanon as I can from other writers and I realized one that I have internalized but didn’t think to apply to the primadonna ‘verse is the idea that Hana Inuzuka is the next Inuzuka clan head and also she’s a lesbian and engaged to her partner (as per JohnBurtonLee’s I Got You which I, at this point, pretty much consider DoS beta canon in that it’s basically canon until very specifically said otherwise by Word of God)

Anyway, all that being said: whether or not the Inuzuka are matrilineal (as I headcanon for the Aburame) or they follow primogeniture regardless of the firstborn child’s gender, it would still fall to Hana to have an heir of her own. Which, you know, get a donor, etc etc. BUT, if they want the child to be as genetically close to a biological child from both of them as possible, either Kiba is the donor with Hana’s partner being the carrier—I’m going to call her Kaori for now—or if Kaori has male relatives (a brother, ideally) then Hana is the carrier.

But, what if Kaori’s family SUCKS? What if they’re ABSOLUTE ASSES? What if they’re homophobic bigots who don’t approve of the relationship, much less them having a child together? Hana and Kaori wouldn’t going to want their DNA anyway. (Sorry to give you a shit family Kaori, but you're marrying into a pretty cool one so... congrats?)

But then it’s also like… uh… Kiba is your annoying little brother who really didn’t believe we were engaged. Not out of bigotry or ill-intent, but it’s still annoying. And also, like, don’t really want to think about your little brother’s sperm.

What’s a wlw couple to do?

Because it’s not just about the gestation and carrying the baby to term, but the incompatibility of egg-egg or sperm-sperm conception.

But wait! Introducing the new HaruNara external conception and gestation machine(/seal?)! For the low low price of (I don’t know, the first generation may be free since it’s all prototype and experimental?) you and your partner(s) can have the biological child you’ve always wanted! No mess, no stress, no risk that an undercover agent from an enemy clan/village will steal your bloodlimit and/or extremely politically important heir! Highly trained and accredited experts of medicine and sealing will oversee the HaruNara process and your genetic material/future child will be fully protected by an elite team of Konoha’s powerful shinobi! We’ll help you make the family of your dreams! SIGN UP TODAY!

… if you didn’t read all of that in an infomercial voice, I messed up.

What I’m saying is, Hana and Kaori’s first child—who I am now calling Manako which means eyeball—was of the first generation of HaruNara babies (a process which I assume EXTREMELY involved Sakura, hence the name).

Keen-eyed readers may remember that I wanted Mimi Inuzuka to be a year above Shikadai, and that is still true. I’m just giving Mimi Inuzuka and older sister, because I want the sort of… bookend of Manako is of the first generation of HaruNara babies and Mimi is from the last generation of HaruNara babies (outside of the ANY clan alliance)

AND HERE’S WHERE THE POLITICS COMES IN! :D

Because the HaruNara requires a sealing master (from the Nara Sealing Research Group) AND a medic specifically trained under Sakura. Although there are ANY medics trained under Sakura, there aren’t any non-ANY sealing masters—except maybe TenTen—who are trained in the use of the seals and equipment, of which those would be proprietary Nara technology anyway.

… and even if TenTen COULD, I don’t think she necessarily WOULD because she is indebted/grateful to the Nara for even putting her name on the NaraTen seals (still industry leader, decades later) and giving her those royalties as opposed to just, like, a one time “consultant/independent contractor” fee and then goodbye forever. I think, even if she isn’t officially part of the Nara Sealing Research Group, she does get invited a lot or consults enough (with appropriate/fair payment or additional royalties) that she wouldn’t necessarily turn her back against them. And, like, look. Even if it was decades ago, she did love Shikamaru and they were friends even when they broke up, so she also grieves for him too. I don’t know her stance on, you know, straight up murder the councilors who ordered his assassination. But I can’t imagine she’d so fully turn against Shikako—who, again, was even more her friend than Shikamaru, and so ACTIVELY contributed to TenTen’s career success—that she would scab against the Nara clan and run half of the HaruNara technique on behalf of Konoha unless they SPECIFICALLY ORDERED HER TO.

BUT EVEN THEN, I have to imagine the number of times she must have had “don’t interfere with clan affairs” thrown in her face regarding the Hyuuga Caged Bird seal and now she can throw it back in Konoha’s face. But, like, in a plausible deniability sort of way.

All that being said: the ANY alliance may very well be keeping this technique to themselves and either separately contracting (with all profits going to ANY alliance only, rather than it being split with Konoha) or charging an EXORBITANT FEE to those who are trying to hire them via Konoha official paths.

Because, like. You can’t tell me the Kantokusha clan of Hidden Grass don’t have the village under their thumb. That’s why they were so desperate to get rid of Shikako, someone who had seemingly defeated their ultimate technique.

And while Konoha has other methods of income, older and more established than the HaruNara seals, you can’t tell me the ANY alliance wouldn’t be extremely pedantic and petty about proprietary clan techniques. Again, just pointing at the Hyuuga’s Caged Bird Seal.

Of course, the ANY alliance isn’t trying to make more enemies—if anything, they are trying to do the opposite, and woo other clans to their theoretical secession—so they’re not being extortionate about it. But they are making it clear that this is a clan/alliance technique, not a village technique.

To be clear, this switch from it being a Konoha service to an ANY clan specific service is because of The Incident—hence why Mimi is part of the last generation of Konoha serviced HaruNara babies--so it’s not as if the ANY alliance have been denying or overcharging the Inuzuka use of the HaruNara process. And also, it may very well be that Hana and Kaori have reached the number of children they want (unsure if it’s just her and Manako or if I want them to have a/multiple siblings in between) and it’s just coincidence that they bookend the window of time where the HaruNara process was a village service and not an ANY alliance service. BUT I just thought that would be an interesting way to frame the Inuzuka’s involvement/opinion on the Incident, especially since I am REALLY thinking about writing another Primadonna ‘verse segment and it involves Team Chiyako which has Mimi Inuzuka and the Branch Hyuuga teen that Shikadai has a crush on.

Anyways, how do you look at all of your beautiful, rambunctious children and not be extremely grateful to the person who literally made it possible for them to exist. And, you know, wouldn't any Inuzuka member also want to tear to pieces the people who try to harm their family? Considering I imagine if the Inuzuka clan had a motto it would be something like Honesty, Loyalty, Integrity, I can’t imagine those Hana's personal opinion would be would be too different from her Inuzuka clan's opinion (unlike Chiyako and Tsunade’s, lol)

The Inuzuka are not official allies with the Akimichi, Nara, Yamanaka. They are also not official allies with the Aburame and the Hyuuga even though members of their clans get put on the same teams often due to synergistic abilities. I don’t know who they are official allies with, but we do know that they joined Konoha at roughly the same time as the other clans and have since been a pillar member of the village.

So the question then becomes: does the fact that their current clan heiress (Manako) and her sibling(s) exist because of Shikako Nara outweigh the generations of loyalty to Konoha?

Here’s where I thread this needle: I don’t think they would secede… but I do think they would gladly support a different Hokage and are fully in favor of Naruto stepping down. I think, if they have clan vows the same way the ANY alliance does, that Hana (with approval from Tsume and whatever elders or equivalent thereof that the Inuzuka clan has) changed them before Manako and her sibling(s) became genin and would have to say them.

I think Manako might not even be on a jounin led tead. I think Manako probably went from the Academy, then straight back to specialized Inuzuka clan training, both because she is heiress and also so that she wouldn’t necessarily have to swear oaths of loyalty to the village over her clan or to the current Hokage in particular.

Which makes Mimi’s placement on Team Chiyako interesting if she is the only one of her siblings(? Although, it could just be her and Manako) who didn’t get recalled back to clan training after the Academy. What oaths did she make? Are the Inuzuka very deliberate in their wording of loyalty to the village (but not the Hokage?) in protecting the people, but not the administration.

I think, if the Inuzuka can’t make Shikako Hokage (and if this WERE closer in time to the Incident, they probably would have voted a no-confidence in Naruto, had that been a route available to them) then they are part of the group who either want Kakashi back in power (even though he very much DOES NOT WANT) or are of the belief that if they can’t have a Hokage they can be loyal to, they will either FIND or MAKE a Hokage they can be loyal to.

By which I mean: if I’m already playing the next generation parallel game, not only is Mimi Inuzuka the kunoichi on a team one year older than Shikadai, she also, like TenTen, wants to be like Tsunade. But, unlike TenTen, its not because of healing, it’s because she’s a female Hokage and Mimi is going to be the next one if she has any say over it.

Basically, EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF THIS GENERATION WITH ANY POWER/POLITICAL AMBITIONS WHATSOEVER IS GUNNING FOR THAT HOKAGE SPOT. Because if they don’t, Konoha may very well split in half.

I do think the most “healing” of the candidates is Shikadai, given it is a rift between Konoha and the Nara specifically, but hell… at this point, anyone else might be enough to get the ANY alliance to stay. Sarada who, even if she is still genetically a Sakura-Sasuke child, would have been raised by Sakura-Ino-Sai is arguably part of the ANY alliance… maybe?

I DIDN’T GET INTO WHAT THE HARUNARA CONCEPTION AND GESTATION MACHINE(/SEAL?) WOULD MEAN FOR THE UCHIHA REPOPULATION PROGRAM.

Because. Almost all of those Uchiha repopulation program kids I made are of age or younger than Shikadai. (Sakako doesn’t exist in primadonna ‘verse, sorry. Add another check in the bleakness column.) So either, they ARE using the HaruNara machine(/seal?) as an officially allied clan of the ANY clans (ANUY alliance? Hm… I don’t like that) OR it is one of the only Konoha official usage of it post The Incident—by which I mean, Konoha is subsidizing some/most of the exorbitant costs so that the Uchiha DON’T officially join the ANY alliance—OR… they aren’t using it and they’re just going old fashioned surrogacy (as it was originally written) but you HAVE to imagine that absolutely frustrates whoever is in charge of the program (probably Sakura, let’s be real) because there is this method to make the program so much more efficient if it weren’t for FUCKING POLITICS and it HAS HER NAME ON IT.

Oof. Yikes.

Anyway, sorry I went on a tangent. Many people are gunning for that Hokage spot, Mimi Inuzuka included. I think she was deliberately put on a jounin led team because Hana or Manako could smell/see the way the winds were blowing in Konoha. The Aburame heiress/future head as well as a Branch Hyuuga representative being on the same team—those two (and maybe the Uchiha, gotta figure that out) being the most likely to join the ANY alliance in secession—would need a stronger tether back to Konoha. And while the Inuzuka may have self-isolated a bit due to lack of faith in the Hokage, they are still loyal to the village as a whole. And then their third teammate is a Kurama because I’m already playing the next generation parallel game, so I needed a genjutsu user. BUT I have also made their abilities synergize, so this team does make sense functionally as well as, uh, metaphorically? Politically :D

FINAL TANGENT before I let this brainrot go, 1) Kareru Uzumaki definitely exists in this ‘verse because 2) the first generation of HaruNara babies are younger than him because the techniques didn’t fully gel together UNTIL Shikako discovered the seal he was in so 3) AT MOST there is eight years difference between the oldest of the HaruNara babies and Shikadai’s year, and I don’t even think that much but I can’t be bothered to do math right now.

Hopefully this rambling around will lead to an actual legible ficlet. If you made it this far, sorry for this disaster of a post.

#jacksgreyson #brainstorm #fanfiction #primadonna girl (says no thank you)#dreaming of sunshine #hana inuzuka #tenten #sakura haruno #kareru uzumaki

9 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 27 days

Note

Given what happened in Bloody Mist artificial wombs might be a tool of diplomacy. Also: workplace injuries that might make carrying to term a risky proposition.

Yes! There's lots of reasons that aren't specifically Shikako related for why an external womb via seal/tech would be desired.

You bring up a great point, damnsmartblueboxes, I didn't even consider them selling to foreign countries! Or offering it as a Konoha-controlled service, a la Grass' Blood Prison -- although I imagine the amount of multinational security/oversight would have to be SO EXTREME considering bloodline theft is such a huge problem in this world. Or maybe it's a specialized mission where a Konoha team of medics and fuinjutsu users are specifically deployed, with a second Konoha team of bodyguards/escorts, to the foreign country where the artificial womb is requested where they are hosted by the village/clan that hired them for the duration of the gestation and there is an extremely thorough sanitation process in which the Konoha team makes sure none of their seals/technology has been copied and the foreign country makes sure none of the genetic material is stolen, etc etc.

Also yes! Like if the artificial womb is... flexible? adaptable?... enough so that it doesn't require the full gestation to be done in it from the start, that's also a great use of it!

Honestly, there are a surprising amount of applications for it that it would be more surprising for Shikako NOT to have made(/been involved in the process to make) it even BEFORE her theoretical future pregnancy with Sakako. Although, like, that does then make that ficlet a little suspect given that... well... wouldn't she have transferred embryo!Sakako into the artificial womb before it got to that point? Unless it's another case of Shikako not having realized how bad it was getting if it was so gradual/she was already so sleep deprived and compromised that it took Yoshino bringing her to the hospital, to the team of medics/fuinjutsu users, in order to transfer embryo!Sakako so that Shikako can finally get some sleep.

#jacksgreyson #damnsmartblueboxes #asks #answers #dreaming of sunshine #shikako nara #sakako uchiha

10 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 27 days

Note

So I was wandering back through the tags to read more of Primadonna Girl and look into Sabaku no Shinki, and I noticed that one bit where Shikako was pregnant and could FEEL the baby's interaction with her chakra--so ... do you think Shikako "cloning is easy" Nara pioneered some external womb seal-tech after that, so that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES would she EVER have to do that again?

This kind of touches on this post in which an anon asked about why I didn’t have Shikako and Gaara have biological kids with each other, but obviously less cringe-inducing. I think Shikako would make—or massively contribute to or, at the very least, consult the pioneers behind it—a seal/tech-based external womb not for her own benefit (because I do maintain SHE doesn’t necessarily want [more] children) but for someone else.

The first go to that comes to mind would be Risshuu Shingon and Saidai Nara (aka, Ritsu Shingon’s parents from the Sunshine Sidestories) who have, as you previously said and which I still find absolutely hilarious, “incompatible meatware” to have biological children of their own. We literally see their wedding in the side story so that they can build a stable domestic household for their daughter. But we also see how nervous Risshuu is about it and even Saidai, in his Nara way, given he wanted to get the wedding done IMMEDIATELY, because even though he was reassuring Risshuu the whole time, he must have also felt that if he didn’t seize the opportunity NOW, with the clan heirs being acting clan heads, then they may not be able to do it UNTIL the clan heirs ACTUALLY because clan heads — a decade or more, he said.

All that being said: I would think after some time of letting the concept of being legally married settle in their brains, when they’re no longer so worried of it being taken away from them, they would want to consider having another child. And, like, obviously they’re considering adoption or surrogacy because… you know… that’s what’s available… but I do like the idea of Shikako hearing about it (maybe from Ritsu, who’s old enough to understand what’s happening, but not old enough to know not to tell her hero intimate family details) and then showing up at their house during breakfast and sitting down—just really giving Risshuu deja vu—and dropping the “Do you want biological kids?”

And, well, they’re not going to say no to that. They just… didn’t think it was an option.

And Shikako does say—well, it’s not an option… YET.

And then she sweeps into the next Sealing Group meeting and just throws this topic into the ring and everyone just goes all in on this. It’s the exact overlap of sealing and medicine and “impossible” with further/alternate applications. Because I think the steps to make a functional external womb which WOULDN’T require constant concentration or exact chakra control could also lead into things like… how do bacta tanks work in Star Wars? Or stasis/travel seals to bring injured patients from the field back to a more incorporated hospital.

And, you know, there are probably a bunch of OTHER people who would appreciate an external womb: other couples with incompatible meatware, fertility issues in general. The more, uh, “corporate” equivalent would be clans with members who are reluctant to have kids but are the prime example of their blood limits so if the clan agrees to take care of the kid, they don’t mind donating their genetic material. Or even maybe civilian nobility? But that gets iffy.

Anyway, I don’t think Shikako knows enough by herself, but she definitely has access to and influence over people who cumulatively have the knowledge to pull this off.

#jacksgreyson #loveelemental #asks #answers #dreaming of sunshine #sunshine sidestories #shikako nara

11 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 1 month

Text

Primadonna Girl (needs papers, tickets, nerves of steel), (2024-03-25)

some additional lighter(-ish) additions to the bleak!primadonna AU (but still with some politics sprinkled in)

Primadonna Girl (fills the void up with celluloid)

“We’ve heard you’re the best blacksmith in town,” says the blandly smiling woman wearing a professional pantsuit that really shouldn’t work in the desert but somehow she’s pulling it off.

Even though Areki isn’t trying to hide the skepticism on her face, the woman’s bland smile does not budge an inch.

Sarcastically, she scans the vast, empty horizon that this tiny, nameless town barely interrupts. There is only one blacksmith in town. Frankly, this town is so small it shouldn’t even have one at all. It's not even big enough to be on most maps. Which is why Areki chose to set up shop here. Her response is as dry as their surroundings, “Thanks.”

Behind her manager, identity and amusement not at all concealed with her massive pair of mirrored sunglasses, is the best actress of their generation. What Kako Heijo is doing out in the middle of nowhere isn’t hard to guess—filming a movie, no doubt, with a ludicrous amount of explosions—but what she (or rather, her blandly professional manager) is doing talking to Areki is a mystery.

She sighs. “Can I help you?” she asks, because Areki isn’t keen on wasting time and it doesn’t seem like the other two women are in any rush to move the conversation along.

“Yes,” says the manager, words chosen slowly, as if she doesn’t have the full sentence yet, “we need…” She looks at Kako Heijo.

“Props,” says the most talented actress alive. Not too far away, Areki sees their film set—practically dwarfing the town—and the veritable army of production assistants unloading endless boxes of props.

“Props?” Again, Areki does not even bother trying to hide her skepticism.

Even her manager blinks, askance.

“Props,” repeats the international star of stage and screen.

“… yes. We need… props,” her manager confirms.

The silence is palpable.

Well, a commission’s a commission, and she has a child to feed. Areki sighs again, “What kind of props?”

—

(When the script allows, it really is best to film in the desert. An infinite sky, minimal scheduling and permit conflicts, and the Wind Daimyo is always eager to host globally acclaimed celebrities.

The fact that she chooses different areas of Land of Wind’s vast deserts, filling in the gaps of a long ago failed and abandoned search for the Godaime Kazekage, is just a coincidence. A matter of cinematography, really.

Anyway, only Shikako Nara would know that and she doesn’t exist anymore.)

—

“Kazekage-sama.”

“What now?” Kankurou snaps, looking up from the mountain of paperwork on the anchor of a desk in this prison of an office.

Jinzo, the secretary who actually runs the Kazekage’s office, shoots him a disapproving look. Well, whatever. Jinzo has never approved of Kankurou’s reign with the hat, only staying out of loyalty for the previous wearer, and it’s not like Kankurou even wanted the job anyway.

Behind Jinzo is the tiniest messenger genin, trembling as if they were in Land of Snow. Shit.

“You’re dismissed,” Jinzo murmurs to the messenger who flees with all haste, before he turns back to Kankurou, envelope in hand.

“What is it?” He doesn’t bother softening his tone, there can be no yielding from the Rokudaime Kazekage.

Jinzo doesn’t bother with it either. “An invitation.”

Ugh.

“Ugh, which councilor wants me to meet their suspiciously single, eligible daughter or granddaughter?”

“None of them.”

“None?” As if Jinzo hasn’t been tossing out the most audacious offers on a weekly basis.

“What I mean is,” he clarifies, “this particular invitation has nothing to do with that.”

There is an uncharacteristically hesitant pause.

“It’s for a movie premiere.”

Another uncharacteristic pause.

“A Kako Heijo movie.”

—

(There was a time when Kankurou was the least scary of his siblings, a mere puppeteer dreaming of show business, of reviving the dying arts of his culture. In comparison to his sister—eldest scion of the desert, Wind Mistress unmatched in the skies—and his brother—jinchuuriki and Wielder of the Cascading Sands—where was the threat in a fast talking, comedy relief?

But Kankurou doesn’t have siblings anymore, just like he doesn’t have any patience for people who think he’s the one at fault for his ascension staining Sunagakure a furious, ferrous red.)

—

“I’m not questioning your decisions,” Riku prefaces once she and her ward are in the relative privacy of their penthouse suite.

“That sounds like you’re about to question my decisions,” says the woman known world wide as Kako Heijo. Her eyes are sharp, but she gestures for Riku to continue anyway with an almost lenient air.

“I would never,” Riku says, blandly professional as always, “but I am curious about your reasoning behind the most recent addition to your retinue.”

“Our retinue,” corrects the preeminent multinational media darling.

“Kako Heijo’s retinue?” Riku counteroffers.

A considering hum, a nod, then another hand wave prompting Riku to continue.

“Do we really need a permanent props master that travels with us? One who has a child that also needs to travel with us?”

Riku’s responsibility shrugs. “I like knowing who makes my equipment. And I’m shocked, Riku, absolutely horrified,” she says, placidly, “I never took you for someone who would separate a parent from their child for financial reasons.”

She does not break in her professionalism.

“I am also wondering about your choice of VIP guest for the premiere.” Usually she never specifies anyone, letting Riku fill out the guest list based on her complex web of favors, social investments, and potential allies.

“He’s an important patron of the arts that resides in Land of Wind. What is there to wonder about? Surely it would be ruder not to invite him.”

She will not break.

“And plus,” adds the bane of Riku’s existence, “I heard he used to do stuff with puppets? Maybe I should introduce him to my prop master.”

She sighs, resigned. “And her child?”

“What a fascinating suggestion you’ve come up with, Riku!” says the exiled Nara clan heiress. “Yes, let’s do that.”

Riku is going to die from rage induced stress.

—

(Riku Sato used to go by a different name as well, but her duty has always been the same regardless.

If she knew forswearing the Genin Corps for advanced training in the Yamanaka clan arts would lead to this, she would rather have put up with a thousand D-rank missions to catch that fucking immortal hellcat)

A/N: I know as an artist you’re never supposed to point out the flaws in your own work, but I realize I should have had that middle section from Jinzo’s POV in order to make it… symmetrical? balanced?… with the other sections from Areki and Riku’s POVs. Really make it secondary characters looking in on the situation. But I just love writing Kankurou’s POV so much, I couldn’t help it TT_TT Also, this is roughly inspired by Mergen’s comments in response to the (this and that and everything, etc) installment of the ao3 port. Specifically, a brief theory that Souichi might be Shikako and Kankurou’s child, but the ages/math doesn’t really work out. BUT that did remind me of Shikadai’s cousins-that-aren’t and how, sadly, some of them wouldn’t exist. Or some of them would exist but not end up his cousins. However, one cousin in particular COULD have some interesting political ramifications (which is, you know, the whole point of this series) given he has Magnet Release and that was a major reason for Shikamaru being assassinated to begin with. I was considering Shikako finding Shinki when he’s recently orphaned (at nine, according to my Dreaming of S(haring the World) Shinki installment which ALSO has Kankurou) and then the two of them secretly training him in a sort of Anya to Anastasia (from the titular animated movie) type of con (that is less of a con and more a legitimate claim)… but that seemed pretty sketchy and also, like… surely SOMETHING in this bleak AU has to be better, slightly? So I made it such that one of Kako Heijo’s movies is filming near that town in the middle of nowhere before Shinki is nine which means Shikako can sense that there are TWO someones with Magnet Release, one of them being Shinki’s still alive mother :) Basically, this kind of solves the problem of Kankurou not having any children (thus making Shikadai his default heir) but it also adds some other problems in the sense that… well… both Areki and Shinki are untrained civilians and if some councilors who maybe didn’t fully internalize or maybe might have forgotten The Incident decide they’d rather be the power behind an untrained civilian Kazekage than one who is clever and bitter and suspicious of them… well… And then I figured I might as well flesh out Kako Heijo’s totally a civilian, blandly named manager since she’ll probably continue to make appearances in this AU. OVER A YEAR AND I CANNOT PUT THIS AU DOWN.

#jacksgreyson #fanfiction #writing #primadonna girl (says no thank you)#dreaming of sunshine #naruto #shikako nara #sabaku no shinki #sabaku no kankurou

15 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 1 month

Text

Primadonna Girl (sounds through the earth and skies), (2024-03-23)

For some lighter bleak!primadonna AU brainrot (ah, the juxtaposition) I present to you the following:

Primadonna Girl (fills the void up with celluloid)

There is a castle on fire. An unsettling number of civilians, slightly singed but otherwise unharmed, are staring at them. The mayor—who called them here in the first place—is cursing them out from his tied up position on the ground, fake monster costume in pieces around him.

Isahiko is trying to settle the crowd with mixed success—they are, perhaps, only calming down because he seems to be increasingly more nervous as the danger dissipates—while Kazuto grins widely, chattering at their indulgent client with an unwarranted air of accomplishment. In contrast, Kumayoshi silently meets eyes with Kako Heijo’s manager and tries not to consider how much trouble they’re all going to be when they head back to Konoha.

—

Considering none of them have the corresponding names, they are an almost stereotypical example of the Ino-Shika-Chou arrangement: which is to say, straight down the middle average, no specialized skills pointing them in the direction of any particular department, and only remembered—if they ever are—as a team not as individuals.

Which is fine. None of them are especially ambitious—or, well, not in the way that would make Kazuto’s clan worried—and they would much rather stick together as a run of the mill team of chuunin than be separated…

But it would be nice, sometimes, if the clan heads would stop assigning blame to the three of them when, really, it’s only one person at fault and it’s not like they have any ability to control her when the Hokage couldn’t.

—

Kumayoshi stares at his beer, betrayed. He does not look up to meet the deceptively kind eyes of his clan head, not even when a hand lands on his shoulder, equally deceptively comforting, trusting. Kumayoshi keeps looking at his betrayal beer.

What an honor, said Kumayoshi’s parents, Chouji-sama has invited you for drinks. He wants to talk to you in person. You must have done so well on your last mission.

Kumayoshi did not do well on his last mission. They set a castle on fire on his last mission. They upended the local government in less than a week. Kazuto has developed a worrying fascination with explosions!

“We would appreciate it,” Chouji-sama says, “if you continue to accept mission requests from that particular client.”

We? Oh no, that’s not even an order from the head of his clan alone. That’s from all three heads of the alliance.

“I, personally, would be indebted if you kept her as safe as she will allow you.”

A personal debt from the clan head. Kumayoshi’s parents would be over the moon. They don’t know the cost. They wouldn’t understand. He is a broken man.

Kumayoshi closes his eyes and doesn’t audibly sigh. He nods. “Of course, it would be my honor.”

—

Isahiko cracks almost immediately.

To be fair, Ino-sama’s slit pupil stare is far less kind than Chouji-sama’s.

She also doesn’t bother with the pretense of drinks or the Yamanaka equivalent of it which is to coincidentally share a shift in the greenhouses and have a sideways conversation about something unrelated but which somehow, pointedly, conveys the exact message required.

No, he is not treated so nicely. Instead, Ino-sama summons Isahiko to her office in the depths of T&I and stares at him as he fidgets in the seat across from her. There is a bouquet featuring delphiniums and zinnias on her desk. The smile on her face is simultaneously grim and victorious.

“Okay! Yes, okay! I’ll do it, I promise!” Isahiko yelps, only vaguely aware of what he’s agreeing to, but swearing all the same.

“Thank you,” she says, a rare moment of soft honesty, before she turns to the paperwork on her desk. “You can go now.” She waves a hand dismissively.

Excused, Isahiko scrambles to leave, but before he can reach the door, Ino-sama adds.

“Does your, hmm, what’s his name?” The hum is a lie. The uncertainty is a lie. It’s always mind games with this clan. It’s why he has anxiety. “Does Kazuto still not know who she is?”

Isahiko cringes, this time in embarrassment rather than fear. “No, he does not.”

—

“So I read the report from your last mission,” says Kinokawa to Kazuto. They are in the Nara library viewing room, watching a movie that is mostly explosions. Takatori despairs of them both.

“Pretty rad, right?”

“… you had fun?”

Kazuto doesn’t hesitate. “Hell yeah, man, it’d be cool to work with Kako Heijo again. Did you know she really does her own stunts?”

Kinokawa looks at Kazuto. Kazuto looks back.

“Yes. I did know that.”

“Right, right, you giant fanboy. Hey, if I work with her again, I’ll see if I can get an autograph for your collection.”

“… you’re a good cousin, Kazuto.”

“Yeah, I am.”

—

The next time a mission request comes from the suspiciously blandly named civilian manager of Kako Heijo, the equally blandly named mission desk nin does not put it in the general pool of C-ranks, but instead sets it aside for a team of not particularly memorable, run of the mill chuunin.

A/N: I just really wanted to make an “unimpressive” ANY team that Shikako (or, rather, Kako Heijo’s totally a civilian manager) keeps requesting to do, like, the film crew stuff that is too dangerous for actual civilians and I also really wanted the Nara member of the team to not know who she actually was. I like to think that Nara are geniuses in most things and can also be oblivious in equal measure to other things—like Shikako’s lack of awareness of how powerful she is. I also like to think that Kazuto’s explosions are not seal based at all but, like, him trying to manipulate wind and fire natured chakra. Understandably it is less controlled and thus more concerning than to do the same with seals It probably wasn’t clear, but during the mission at the beginning, the mayor had invited Kako Heijo to film at the castle and wanted to do some kind of insurance fraud/crime framing thing, a la Scooby Doo but worse because maybe some dissenting townspeople had been trapped in the basement which was set to explode. This installment is because sometimes even I have to change things up from getting TOO sad/politically charged—although, you know, I’m still going to sprinkle in some hinted politics in my comedy relief.

#jacksgreyson #fanfiction #writing #primadonna girl (says no thank you)#dreaming of sunshine #naruto #chouji akimichi #ino yamanaka #kinokawa nara

12 notes · View notes

jacksgreysays · 1 month

Text

Untitled bleak!primadonna AU related struggling (2024-03-23)

I continue to have bleak!primadonna AU brainrot and so I am thinking about it even while at work, BUT I think my brain is snagging on something in particular that I have to type out in order to figure out how I feel about it. A sort of, if I can articulate it, it will make sense. Or, rather, in the process of articulating it, it will adapt until it makes sense.

Because I still do not understand Naruto, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like him. It is unfair of me as an “objective party” to think poorly of him in this AU just because Shikako makes more sense to me, so let’s get into Naruto’s behavior/opinion regarding revenge:

The fact that the “most emotional” member of Team Seven is also the most against revenge seems to be a contradiction on the surface: revenge is a very emotionally charged motivation. A more logical person (ie, the Aburame clan’s opinion on The Incident as gone over in this post) would consider revenge to be a waste of potential resources or, at the very least, a sunken cost fallacy. (Revenge being different from ensuring the threat is neutralized, of course. Preemptive pruning of future threats is logical, and while it may look similar to revenge, it is different)

But, from what I’ve prescribed to him in the bleak!primadonna AU as an extrapolation of the Land of Birds conversation, Naruto’s rejection of revenge isn’t motivated by logic but by philosophy. He simply doesn’t believe in killing… outside the heat of battle.

I mean, he also doesn’t believe killing in the heat of battle (never mind that some of the techniques he uses would definitely be considered mortal blows, but we have to assume that’s a shounen protagonist sort of hand waving. Sort of like how Spiderman Is (Definitely Not) Murdering People) but outside of battles, he’s definitely anti-killing. So the premeditated, deliberately planned revenge that Shikako (and Sasuke in canon, theoretically, even though his plan is less a plan and more a vague list of questions marks leading to Step 3: Profit) is extremely against his philosophy.

I want to backtrack a bit, actually, and get into Naruto killing in the heat of battle. Or, more specifically, Naruto wanting/getting revenge in the heat of battle. We don’t see it much, but we DO see it sort of—especially in canon—specifically, when Naruto thought Haku had killed Sasuke. Even if he didn’t land the killing blow himself (what up, Kakashi, how’s that Rin-related trauma treating you?) we do see a switch flipped in Naruto in regards to his aggression/goals for that fight. Of course, it could be argued that a good chunk of that is malevolent Kyuubi chakra leaking out and, hmm, tainting things, but it’s not as if he went full berserk, feral rage. He was still capable of speech, even while he was attacking.

But that’s canon! What about DoS? It is a minor point in the list of things within the unreliable narrative that Shikako as the first person POV doesn’t catch onto, but for all that the series is called Dreaming of Sunshine — and which I, with my love of celestial motifs, interpret sun to be Naruto— Shikako ALSO doesn’t understand Naruto. Like. She understands Sasuke so thoroughly that she can manipulate him (for his own benefit) into majorly deviating from his canon fate. And, sure, Shikako’s presence has also changed some of Naruto’s life (making chuunin first, for example) but not to such a drastic agree. And a lot of that has to do with the fact that Shikako can only nudge Naruto into things. She can improve his skills, can advise him strategically, can make suggestions, but she seems to (also) not have a complete understanding of Naruto.

Anyway, all of that to say, Shikako doesn’t really get to witness Naruto going apeshit in battle because usually that happens after SHE’S been taken out of the fight (either knocked out or temporarily killed.) We don’t really know what Naruto did after Haido killed Shikako during the Gelel mission. Naruto wasn’t at the Grass Chuunin Exams to react live to the attempted abduction. Shikako is dealing with the aftermath of Tsukuyomi and related Uchiha massacre trauma to pay attention to Naruto after he brings Tsunade back.

So I think, in the heat of battle, Naruto WOULD get revenge for his precious people, but it HAS to be in that window of time. Because consider, also, that Naruto was so fond of the Sandaime, but he never swore vengeance against Orochimaru or anything like that. To be fair, it’s a bit of a weak comparison considering I don’t think Naruto’s fondness of Sandaime measures up to his love for his teammates by any stretch, and the waters do get muddy considering a lot of Naruto’s beef against Orochimaru (in canon, at least) is that he “took” Sasuke.

I am circling around, I think… sorry for the mess…

Here’s a hypothetical: someone kills Shikako — if Naruto kills that person within that same battle, would he regret it later? (This is presuming Shikako doesn’t come back or, at least, doesn’t come back for a long while to the point where they assume she isn’t coming back)

… I honestly don’t know. Or, well, I know he would to some extent, but I don’t know why — I can picture him saying “I shouldn’t have killed [that person]” but I don’t know if the emphasis is in the “I” (as in Naruto specifically shouldn’t have been the one to kill [that person] as opposed to someone else, ie Sasuke who is more comfortable with revenge and presumably would have also been in that battle, or Kakashi who Naruto knows has killed people and would have done so with a level of authority that Naruto could have looked away) or if the emphasis is in the “killed” (but, again, for someone who is so against killing, Naruto is the only one Team Seven that doesn’t really have non-lethal methods. Theoretically he could just dogpile the enemy with an endless amount of shadow clones, but Naruto’s specialty isn’t even taijutsu, it’s ninjutsu. Of the ludicrously powerful variety. Naruto, unfortunately, is a weapon of mass destruction.)

Is this just a variation of the why doesn’t Batman kill the Joker problem? Hm… but I do partially give Batman a pass on his no killing policy in part because his whole trauma is from the fact that his parents were shockingly, needlessly killed and also because there is a difference between Batman, the vigilante symbol of justice, killing and the person Bruce Wayne killing. (I can’t locate the series that I am thinking of in particular right now, but it basically has Batman and Bruce Wayne as distinct personalities and the vibe of: “Batman’s greatest enemy is Bruce Wayne” because Bruce Wayne will kill people who threaten his children outside of the mask and Batman can’t put Bruce Wayne in jail because then Batman wouldn’t be able to complete The Mission)

Naruto doesn’t have the innate societal/cultural pushback against violence or killing—in fact, considering the world he lives in, he should have the opposite. He should have been inured to violence starting in the Academy—and for all that he becomes the peacemaker messiah Hokage in the future, that’s not now, it doesn’t ruin his reputation/symbolic status because he doesn’t have one yet.

And this does make me bounce, briefly, to the idea of Tsunade whose international reputation is as much about her healing as her super strength. But not even her super strength is deadly, per se. Destructive, yes, and obviously could be turned so easily into death dealing blows, but it’s almost… the difference between a bulldozer and a bomb, if that makes sense? Like, obviously both are capable of killing and the same level of destruction, but there’s a level of… controlled application?… of the bulldozer where the bomb just seems more easily lethal?

Which does get back to the Land of Birds debate: Naruto, basically, admonishing Shikako for using lethal force even though her enemy was also using lethal force. Like. What if Shikako had lost that fight? Naruto only has the luxury to scold a still living Shikako BECAUSE she won that fight. Could she have used non-lethal tactics? Maybe. She, at least, has more non-lethal techniques available to her than Naruto does. But she also doesn’t have the regenerative abilities to shrug off incoming lethal damage the same way Naruto does (at this point in the timeline, at least, I think? Or she's not as practiced with her shadow form to be able to use it reliably?). From Shikako’s POV (which means, from DoS readers’ POV) Naruto does seem more than a little bit hypocritical and, possibly, ungrateful in that conversation. And Shikako does get to the heart of the problem—if Naruto has another way, then he has to come up with it, because Shikako can’t. She doesn’t have the same abilities, nor does she have the same philosophy. In that particular battle, she had to prioritize efficiency more than uncertain, lofty morals.

To be fair to Naruto, from his POV, Shikako was the first one to show mercy in situations where even he, arguably in canon, would not have or “lucked” into doing so because he passed out before it got to that point. Ie, with the DoS version of Haku and Zabuza and the Sand Siblings. The fact that Shikako was the one that physically took down Haku and stalled Zabuza and Kakashi’s fight long enough for Gatou to show up and betray them, thus allowing them to live in this universe is mercy. In canon, both of them die because Naruto goes berserk and Kakashi with the chidori is unstoppable (HOW’S THAT RIN-RELATED CHIDORI TRAUMA, KAKASHI?) And then, with the Sand Siblings, Shikako strategizes her hodgepodge of genin teammates to the point that she practically has all three Sand Siblings in front her on their knees, literally pleading, their lives in her hands, and then she DELIBERATELY LETS THEM GO. Whereas, I think in canon, Naruto does defeat Gaara but he passes out from the fight, which gives them the opportunity to retreat.

So, like, yeah. From his POV, he’s modeling Shikako’s behavior, not knowing (and how would he?) that she’s only being “merciful” because these are strategic, near certain decisions she’s making based on knowledge of an alternate universe future.

… I’m not sure if I’ve solved my confusion about Naruto so much as I just talked in circles and made very little progress… can someone with more insight into Naruto’s character lay this out for me? I am clearly STRUGGLING

#jacksgreyson #fanfiction #brainstorm #meta analysis #dreaming of sunshine #primadonna girl (says no thank you)#naruto uzumaki #shikako nara #character analysis

10 notes · View notes