SHE NEVER MISSES, OMG THIS IS SO GOOD I CAN NOT đ€
See My Sea [ZCL] (M)
Description: You never expected your lab partner to be the captain of the basketball team...or a decent human being, but you get proved wrong twice. Despite a rocky past of your own, you find yourself falling for him faster than you thought. Maybe, with his help, you can finally find your way home and see your sea.
A/N: this is inspired by Marine Turtle sort of ??? it just gave me these vibes oops. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!! I hope u take this fic with u into 2024 lol
Genre: Fluff/Smut/Angst (College AU where Chenle is captain of the basketball team like he DESERVES)
Content Warnings: SLOW BURN! Drinking, alcohol, intoxication, some instances of friends being shitty, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend appearances, mentions/instances of anxiety and insecurity, a panic attack Smut warnings: This might be some of my mildest smut omg, usage of pet names 'baby' and 'sunshine,' oral (f & m receiving), slight dirty talk? there's not much rip
Word Count: 20,040
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!Reader (feat. Mark & Jisung, a male OC named Woojin, and three female OCs, Soobin, Jiyoon, & Heewon)
Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)
Taglist: @carelessshootanonymous @thisisnotjacinta @soberhani @fullsunstrawberry @midmourn
âI think your answerâs wrong,â the boy next to you says, leaning over your shoulder to look.
You blink in frustration, already hating the new seating arrangement your college professor forced upon you. When you turn to give him your best glare, you hesitate for a brief moment when you see the genuine concern on his face.
His black hair is draped like a curtain over his forehead, just a bit too long. Soft brown eyes stare back at you, unblinking for several seconds as he scans over your expression. His lips are slightly parted as if he wants to continue, but isnât sure what to say.
âSorry,â he mutters. âItâs justâŠif you get it wrong, it kind of affects me now, too.â
âWhy would it affect you?â You recoil and slide your paper farther from him.
âThisâŠis a lab.â He frowns. âAnd that makes us lab partners for the foreseeable future.â
âAh, great.â You close your eyes and drop your head into your hands.
âIâm trying to help,â he replies.
âWell, I actually prefer to work alone.â
You donât know exactly where your snippiness is coming from, but you donât appreciate this random ass guy trying to correct your work. He couldâve at least introduced himself first instead of immediately selecting the douchebag category.
âI donât think we really have a choice.â He taps his fingers on top of the table. âSorry if I pissed you off, I was justâŠâ
He clicks his tongue, presses his lips into a thin line, and his eyebrows jolt up quickly before he turns away from you and back to his own work. You take a deep breath, your heart sinking at the idea of snapping at him when he didnât deserve it.
Itâs taken you a long time to get used to people genuinely trying to help you, and your brain sometimes doesnât get the memo that not everything is a derogatory comment.
âSorry,â you say softly, inhaling deeply. âYou were being nice. And Iâm being a bitch.â
âI wouldnât use that word.â He snorts as he scribbles down some words on his paper.
âSeriously?â
âI donât like using it in a bad way.â He sets his pencil down and runs his fingers through his hair to push it back.
You laugh. âDonât men find things like that funny?â
âWhat kind of guys are you talking to?â The boy scrunches up his nose and shakes his head.
âIâŠâ You pause, pursing your lips. Thatâs a good question. âBut really, I am sorry. I hope we can rewind and work together.â
âLuckily for you, I donât hold grudges.â He grins and holds his hand out to you. âIâm Chenle. Iâm a senior getting a degree in music theory and Iâm the captain of the basketball team.â
You think about the information for a secondâhe seems like a nice person from what youâve seen thus far, but the basketball team makes him lose a couple points. Most boys in college sports donât have the best reputations.
Your palm meets his as you take his greeting. âIâm (Y/N). Iâm also a senior, but my degree is in Fine Arts. And Iâm the captain of embarrassing myself and my friends.â
He chuckles at that one before brandishing his paper over to you.
âWhat?â you ask.
âIâm gonna help you figure out the right answer.â Chenle beckons you closer.
You hesitate for a moment, but eventually decide nothing will happen in the middle of your science lab. Scooting your chair over to his, you allow him to lean toward you. You ignore the nervousness gathering as the scent of his cologne invades your nostrils. It smells smoky, but in an artificial way. You doubt the man has ever touched anything bad for him in his entire life.
âThis one is easy to fuck up,â he murmurs, his pencil scratching against the paper as he leads you through it.
You attempt to pay attention, but as much as you hate to admit it, the smell of him is intoxicating and him being near you has every single one of your senses on edge. Sweat starts to form on your skin, and you almost curse under your breath.
He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, looks back at the paper, and then his gaze rests back on you, like whatever he saw during his first sweep caught his attention.
âAre you alright?â he asks.
You blink, frowning at him. âWhy are you asking me that?â
âUh.â He wets his lips, his cheeks reddening slightly beneath fluorescent lighting. âYouâre staring at me instead of the answer Iâm giving you.â
Embarrassment rushes through you like a wildfire in a dry forest, and you immediately snatch the assignment away from him and move your chair away. Disbelief wracks your body, because you only realize at that moment that heâs rightâyou were much more interested in his facial features and the softness of his skin instead of the only reason you let him around you in the first place.
Itâs been a long time since anyone has distracted you in that way. All it does is make you want to run away at full speed, but thereâs still a few minutes of class left.
âIâm sorry,â he says. âI didnât mean to offend you or anything.â
âJustâŠforget it.â You shake your head. âIâll figure this out so you donât lose points.â
âAnd then what?â He raises an eyebrow at you.
âHuh?â
âItâs not only this assignment.â Chenle taps his fingers against the desk. âItâs all of them. And I donât want to be a dick, but Iâm kind of used to people staring at me.â
You laugh incredulously, dropping your head into your palms. âThe universe has fucked me.â
He doesnât respond, seemingly waiting for you to continue whateverâs on your mind.
âThat was kinda douchey.â You fidget with your pencil.
âItâs not douchey if itâs true.â He scoffs. âAnd I havenât even done anything to you, so I donât understand where this hostility has come from after being around me for ten minutes.â
âI just donât likeââ
âMen?â he interjects.
âYou.âÂ
âOkay, well.â He rolls his eyes, inhaling deeply. âI donât know what your problem is. Did I breathe incorrectly in your direction? Iâm trying to help you and youâre not being nice at all. You were the one staring at me, I feel like I should remind you of that.â
âI was not starââ
âAlright, class, your lab assignments have been finalized. Youâll be working with your partner for the rest of the semester, and if there are any issues, youâre adults. Figure it out. The first set of problems will be due tomorrow at the start of class,â the teacher interrupts your thoughts, and leaves both you and Chenle gaping.
âProfessor, I have a basketball game tonightââ
âWell, then youâd better finish the worksheet early, Mr. Zhong,â she insists.
âFor fuckâs sake,â Chenle murmurs under his breath, running his fingers through his hair. Stress melds through his expression as his brows pinch together, and it almost makes you feel bad for him.
You know next to nothing about basketball. In fact, you werenât 100% aware your school even had a team.
After he takes a second to calm down, he turns to you. âWhat are you doing for lunch?â
âI meet my friends every day.â You shrug.
âOh, great. Iâm coming with you.â He starts shoving things into his bag, not giving you a second to comprehend what heâs saying.
âIt wasnât an invitation,â you say.
âIâm not failing because of you.â Chenle sets his bag down on the table. âI donât know what I did to give you such a bad impression, but you havenât done much better yourself, okay? The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can worry about getting to practice on time.â
âPractice? I thought it was a game.â
He stares at you blankly, blinking slowly. âIâŠI practice before my games.â His tone is sharp, as if he expects you to know that already.
âYouâre the captain.â
âNo shit.â Irritation sparks in his gaze. âWhich means I have to be good. And prepared.â
âNow whoâs being a dick?â you shoot back. âAm I supposed to just know everything about you already?â
âThisâŠis going to be fucking impossible.â He massages his forehead and takes a deep breath. âWeâll try to finish it in the next ten minutes before class ends, then.â
Spoiler alert, you donât finish by the end of class, which means, unfortunately for you, you drag Chenle in tow with you to lunch, where your three friends wait for you. The girls are distracted in their conversation as you approach, and you already know what their reaction will be.
â(Y/N), youâre finally hereâwhoâs this?â Alarm flares in Jiyoonâs brown eyes as she glances back behind you at Chenle as if you donât know heâs there.
âYou donât know him?â Heewon asks. âPretty sure thatâs Zhong Chenle, you know, the captain of the basketball team. Heâs friends with your boyfriend.â
âIâve never seen him before.â
âYeah, heâs right here.â You nudge Soobinâs arm so sheâll scoot over. âSo if you could maybe not act like heâs not.â
âWhy is he with you?â Soobin asks.
âItâs not by choice,â you grumble, dramatically gesturing to the seat next to you. âDid you guys eat yet?â
âIâm invading,â Chenle says. âIâll go buy lunch, alright? Pizza good for everyone?â
âWhat? You donât have toââ
âJust answer the question,â he says.
âPizzaâs good.â Jiyoon grins. âThanks, Chenle.â
He presses his lips together, grabs his wallet out of his backpack, nods at you, and then heads in the opposite direction. You know the second heâs out of earshot, the girls wonât let this go. They apparently know more about him than you do, which isnât all that surprising.
Jiyoon started dating Jisung a few weeks back, and while youâre happy for your friend (and the fact her boyfriend isnât the worst man ever), you could never justify wasting your valuable time on anyone else right now.
âYeah, just walk in with Zhong Chenle and donât warn us firstââ
âI didnât even know he was a big deal. Or that heâd be coming for lunch,â you defend yourself. âWeâre lab partners, and apparently, weâre being forced to work together.â
âHeâs not a bad guy,â Jiyoon says. âFrom what Iâve heard from Jisung, heâs really passionate about basketball and stuff. So like, he takes it seriously. Heâs not an ass.â
âThatâs not what Iâve experienced.â You roll your eyes, wishing more than anything they would stop before theyâre ahead.
âI get youâre in your âI hate men eraâ or whatever, and I respect it, but youâre allowed to be friends with good guys. Youâll be hanging out around the team soon, anyway. Jisung wants to get our friend groups together.â
âMaybe Jisung isnât awful, but you know how sports guys are.â You almost shiver involuntarily at the thought.
âJisung wouldnât hang around assholes, (Y/N),â Heewon interjects. âYou havenât met him. The kidâs an angel. You morph into the people youâre around, and if he was around dicks, heâd act like one. Or have a single red flag, at least.â
âAnd, to be honest, some of the team has been mentioned in some sketchy situations, but Iâve heard good things about Chenle, Jisung, and Mark. Theyâre not man-whores, and theyââ
âGlad to hear thatâs a criteria for being a good guy.â Chenleâs voice nearly sends Soobinâs soul out of her body.
Her cheeks and the tips of her ears turn bright red, and she quickly mutters out an apology.
He puts the box in the middle of the table, a small chuckle passing by his full lips as he takes a seat next to you. âNo worries. Iâll pass the message to Mark. Heâll get a good laugh out of it, considering heâs probably got the highest body count on the team.â
You shift away from him slightly, this topic of conversation not entirely helping your situation with him.
âMark?â Jiyoon snorts. âMark Lee?â
âSurprisingly, I donât know any other Mark.â Chenle grins. âBut not every guy is vocal about how much he gets laid. Girls throw themselves at himââ
You tense, wanting nothing more than for the conversation to stop. Chenle cuts himself off, a minuscule glance in your direction making his eyebrows pinch before his poker face returns.
âAnyway, pizza.â He clears his throat, gesturing to the box.
âWow. Mark Lee.â Heewon runs her tongue over her teeth. âAnd what does a girl have to do to get on that donation list?â
Jiyoon elbows her, nodding in your direction. An odd silence fills the table before Soobin opens the box and grabs the first slice. Your appetite has oddly disappeared, and none of your friends seem to realize it.
Chenle continues his conversation with Jiyoonâsomething about Jisung and the practice datesâbut while he does that, his pen scratches across the paper on the table in front of you, and when he slides it in your direction, itâs almost unnoticeable.
you should eat
You nearly scoff, grabbing a pencil out of your bag to write your response while your friends still cluelessly converse.
not hungry
âYou know, weâre having a party after the game,â Chenle mentions. âYou guys should come. Assuming we win, itâll be time for celebration.â
âOh, youâll win.â Jiyoonâs eyes widen. âIâve seen clips of games online and stuff. Mostly Jisungâs. But if youâre all that good, I canât imagine youâd lose.â
âGlad to see youâre as obsessed with him as he is with you.â He chuckles and runs his fingers through his hair. âYou should all go.â
His gaze rests on you, and Soobin laughs outwardly.
â(Y/N) doesnât go to parties.â
âWhy not?â He frowns.
âItâs a long story,â you interject before any of your friends can spill your secrets. âBut maybe itâs time for a change. Iâll go. If Jiyoon is going and if she promises not to ditch me for Jisung.â
âOh, please, you havenât been to a party since before Woojââ Heewon stops herself with a hand over her mouth. She cringes as your chest deflates.
Leave it to your friends to rehash old wounds. You already had a shitty day between your random argument with Chenle, him tagging along with you for lunch, and now Heewon is basically telling him your secrets buried deep.
âUm,â you say, sighing. âWe have an assignment to do. Do you want to go to the library or something?â When you turn to look at Chenle, heâs already gathering his things and shoving his materials in his bag.
âYeah, sure.â His eyes scan over the table. âIâll see you guys later.â
â(Y/N), I didnâtââ
âNot now, Heewon.â You shake your head, slinging your bag over your shoulder and heading off without another word.
Itâs been many, many months since Woojin was in your life. The man who essentially tore your life apart little by little until there wasnât anything of the real you left. You were a shell of who you used to be, and it took you much too long to realize it. Hell, youâre not 100% sure if youâve even brought yourself back from that brink. Itâs hard to figure out who you are when the person whoâs supposed to love you not only drags you down to the bottom of the ocean, but buries you beneath the sand.
But none of your friends get it. They see who you are nowâa mask of confidence shielding the gaping open woundâand assume youâre normal again.
Healing isnât a straight line. You donât wake up one day and decide to be okay, and admittedly, there are some mornings that are better than others. For most, you find it hard to come up with a reason to pull yourself out of bed.
Chenle follows you silently as you walk across campus for the library. He walks side-by-side with you and stops once he sees the cafe come into view.
âHey, Iâm gonna get some coffee,â he says. âCome with?â
âUh, yeah. We can just do the work in there, if thatâs okay.â
He gives you a half smile and nods, gesturing toward the building for you to lead the way. Once you make it to the door, he opens it for you. You frown, but walk in regardless.
âIâll get it. What do you usually order?â he asks.
âOh, no, thatâs okay.â You wave him off. âI can get my ownââ
âTell me.â His tone is soft, yet firm, as if you donât really have any other option but to tell him what coffee you want.
With a sigh, you tell him your order and he walks off with a smug smile on his face. You set all of your stuff up on one of the tables, deciding which questions you need to work on first while you wait for Chenle.
He places a cup in front of you before clasping both hands around his own. Standing there, he doesnât move until you look up at him, wondering why the hell he isnât sitting down.
âCan we start over?â he asks. âWe clearly got off on the wrong foot, and I donât want you to hate the entire semester if youâve got to work with me.â
You pause, clearing your throat. âIâd prefer it that way, I think. If we started over, I mean. I was kind of a bitch, and it wasnât even your fault, I justâŠhave some issues with trusting people.â
âI noticed.â He chuckles, a grin plastering on his face as he takes his seat across from you. âAnd I still donât like that word.â
âSorry. I was being an ass. Is that better?â
âYeah, it is. You were an ass.â He sips his drink.
You press your lips together to stop your laugh, but it doesnât prevent your eyes from rolling.
âAnd Iâm sorry, too. If I made you uncomfortable earlier. Or if I did, indeed, do something to make you hate me randomly.â His fingertips tap against the table. âIt really wasnât my intention.â
âItâs not you. At all.â You scoff to yourself, flipping through the stack of papers before you. âI donât want to talk about it. But Iâll try to remind myself people are innocent until proven guilty.â
âSoâŠyouâll come tonight?â Chenle hesitates briefly, wetting his lips. âYou could come to the game, too. Iâm sure Jiyoon would like someone to sit with besides Jisungâs parents.â
âI know nothing about basketball,â you reply, quirking an eyebrow at him.
âWell, yeah, but you could always learn. And now you have friends on the team, so it doesnât matter if you know or not.â He grabs the first assignment to look at it, pretending as if your answer doesnât impact him.
You think about it for a moment. After all, maybe you were wrong about himâmaybe heâs not some awful guy, and you were wrong to assume that after knowing him for five minutes. The longer you spend time with him, the more genuine he seems. You could use more friends, but you canât help but wonder if Chenle is the type of guy you should entertain.
Woojin had you fucked up. Between the sports teams and friend groups and everything that went wrong with him, it was so hard to even imagine being friends with Chenle or any of the other guys on the basketball team.
âIâll think about it,â you mutter. âDonât get your hopes up about the game, but Iâll be at the party for sure.â
âPartyâs a strong word, by the way. Itâs just the team and our close friends, so it wonât be likeâŠa rager or anything.â
You nod, chewing the inside of your cheek. âAlright. We should get started before we run out of time again.â
You werenât planning on going to the game. Not in the slightest. But when the time got closer and closer to seven, you realized there was an odd urge within you that made you want to go. You made the split second decision to text Jiyoon and tell her to pick you up.
Jiyoon brought you a shirt to wearâa simple school T-shirt that said the basketball teamâs name on itâand insisted you change before the two of you left. You did as she said, and by the time you got to the gym, you were almost regretting your decision.
You and Jiyoon sat in the bottom row right in the middle. There goes the opportunity to pretend you werenât there. Maybe he wouldnât see you. Heâll be too focused on the game, and he wonât even give you a second glance. Youâre not sure why the idea of him knowing youâre here makes you so God damn sweaty, but you choose to ignore it.
âWhatâs wrong with you?â Jiyoon asks, nudging your arm.
âHuh? Nothing.â You shake your head. âIâm good.â
She clicks her tongue. âIâve been your friend for years, (Y/N). You look nervous.â
âI donât think I should really be here, I guess, likeâŠI was an ass to him earlier, and now Iâm sitting here like I know what Iâm watching and like I belong here when he probably doesnât even like me at allââ
âDude, youâre rambling,â she cuts you off, placing her palm on your shoulder. âYou said he was the one who told you to come. So I donât think being unwelcome is your problem. Everythingâs gonna be fine! I promise. I give you full permission to stare at Jisung the whole time if you have to.â
âHeâs not my type.â
âIs anyone at this point?â
âIâŠâ You purse your lips. âI guess youâre right.â
Youâre surprised to see the seats fill up quickly, and despite Jiyoon only dating Jisung for a few weeks, she seems really friendly with both of his parents as they sit down in the two spots next to her. Jiyoon leans close to you.
âThe couple that just sat down next to Jisungâs parents are Chenleâs parents. Ji and Chenle have been friends since they were really young, I guess,â Jiyoon explains.
Curiosity gets the best of you, and when you look at them, you try to figure out which one he resembles the most. His mother turns and meets your gaze, and you quickly avert it as your face burns. What the hell are you doing?
You wait in anxious silence with Jiyoon until the game begins, and your eyes immediately seek out Chenle. At first, you think youâre looking for Jisung so you can point him out to Jiyoon, but youâre still watching the boys enter the court long after Jisung is already out.
When Chenle makes it out on the court, the wide smile on his face takes you off-guard. Thereâs no denying the truthâheâs attractive. Thatâs the extent of what you know about him at this point, but you see plenty of attractive men every day. Itâs not like theyâve ever garnered your attention in a way that made you want to watch them.
Unlike earlier, his hair is part down the middle now, probably from running around in practice and preparing for the game. He runs his fingers through it as he walks up to Jisung. The taller man was already standing with their other friend, who you can only assume is Mark. Chenleâs jersey has his last name printed in big letters on the back, along with the number 30.
You try not to study him, but somehow heâs like a damn magnet. No wonder he said he was used to people staring at him.
Jisung glances once in your direction, and then he nudges Chenle and gives him a nearly non-existent nod. He turns, and the second he sees you, his brows jump up in some sort of surprise. Then he grins at you.
âYouâre being weird,â Jiyoon mentions, breaking you out of your trance.
âHuh? How am I being weird? He looked at me.â
âYeahâŠbecause he invited you. And youâre here.â She snorts, running her fingers through her hair. âSpeaking of which, I think heâs coming over here.â
Your eyes widen, and your head shoots up just in time to see Chenle jogging over to you. You have to crane your neck upward to look at him when heâs right in front of you, and youâre sure the shock on your face is what causes laughter to drop past his lips.
He pulls a simple bracelet off his wristâone made with blue and gold threadâand holds it out to you. âWear this for me?â
You blink up at him. âWhy?â
âIf you wear it and we win, youâre our good luck charm,â he states simply.
Your cheeks burn (hopefully unnoticeably) as you gently take it out of his palm. Your fingertips brush against his skin despite how hard you tried to avoid touching him, and once itâs completely in your hand, he backs away from you as Jiyoon helps you tighten it around your wrist.
âAre we gonnaââ Jiyoon starts.
âSay nothing,â you cut her off. âNot a single word about that.â
She giggles to herself. When the game is about to begin, Jiyoon leans forward, hyperfocused on Jisung and the way he carries himself. You want to make fun of her for it, but you know sheâll come back tenfold with jokes about Chenle.
âAlso,â Jiyoon whispers, getting closer to you without removing her gaze from the court. âHe was totally fucking with you. He just wanted you to wear it. They havenât lost a game this entire season, so.â
âWhy would he do that?â you ask.
This time, she does look at you. She clasps her hands together and stares expectantly.
âOh, come on. Donât be ridiculous.â You scoff.
âDude. His parents are five feet away and he just asked you to be his good luck charm. For a game everyone already knows theyâre going to win.â She shakes her head. âMaybe heâll be good for you.â
âItâs been a day. One day. And I didnât like him at all for most of it.â
âYeah, well, you donât usually like any man on the first meeting, so cut him some slack.â She pats your knee. âBut also, the gameâs starting, so watch.â
Honestly, youâre not sure what you were expecting. Itâs been a long time since youâve been to a sporting eventâespecially so for a man, but you try to convince yourself youâre here to spend time with Jiyoon.
But you have to admit, watching Chenle weave around the court is intriguing. He moves with unmatched grace. It looks effortless despite the amount of work you know goes into it. You fiddle with the bracelet on your wrist, chewing on your bottom lip as you concentrate on the way he blocks shots from guys much taller or how he never misses when he passes the ball.
âTold you he was good,â Jiyoon says.
âSh.â You wave her off.
At one point, Chenle attempts a shot from the middle of the court. Youâre hanging onto the details like a lifeline, afraid to even blink and miss something. Much to your surprise, your heart thuds in your chest.
And when the ball goes straight into the net, something launches you to your feet next to Jiyoon as you cheer. Thankfully, the entire section stood, so you didnât look ridiculous by yourself, but Chenle looks over at you, almost like heâs checking if you saw the points he scored.
You didnât realize how wide the smile on your face was until you made eye contact with him. Clearing your throat, you brush off your jeans and sit back down in your seat.
âCome on,â Jiyoon whispers. âHeâs likeâŠugh. You should see where it goes.â
Your face burns. âI just like sports, Ji, okay?â
âYou dirty liar.â She snorts. âYou guys are lab partners anyway, so good luck trying to avoid him. Heâs a good guy, he plays sports, heâs smart as hell, and I heard he can sing, actuallyââ
âI get it,â you grumble. âIâm not interested.â
âYou just screamed and cheered when he made the half-court shot. Youâre interested.â Jiyoon laughs. âWhatever happensâŠjust let yourself have it, okay? Have a good time. You deserve it.â
Chenleâs team absolutely dominated the other one. They barely scored a couple points the entirety of the game. He didnât have time to talk to you right when the game finished, as he went back to the locker rooms with the team, but you figured youâd see him at the party anyway.
Mark, Chenle, and Jisung rent a house together near the school, so thatâs where their get-togethers take place. He didnât lie when he said it was more of an intimate get togetherâonly a handful of people were there when you arrived. As much as you would deny looking for Chenle, you spent half an hour doing so, scanning the room back and forth to find his presence, and you were completely lost. On the bright side, Jisung was also MIA, meaning Jiyoon stuck by your side in the kitchen as you made yourself a drink.
You sigh quietly to yourself, the sound almost lost in the music from the living room as you brace your palm on the counter.
âYou good?â Jiyoon asks.
âItâs been a while since Iâve been to a party,â you remind her. âYou know what happened last time. It just feelsâŠout of place, I guess.â
âYeah, well, nothingâs gonna happen like last time,â your friend reassures you. âRegardless of who it could be, the guys would never be okay with something like that.â
You tap your fingers, resuming your scan of the room. âTheyâre not even here.â
â(Y/N).â Jiyoonâs tone catches you off-guard, almost like itâs a bit sharp and pricking at your skin. âI know you donât know them, but theyâre good, okay? Theyâd never let anything happen to anyone. Let alone someone like you.â
You tilt your cup to your lips, taking a big sip of the fruit punch. When you set it back down, you make eye contact with Chenle, his back pressed against the door frame with his arms over his chest. Your breath hitches at the sight of him. His hair is damp, forehead exposed as the strands stick to the sides of his face. He wears a simple black T-shirt, but something about the way it fits him has every logical thought racing out of your head.
You hated feeling this way. Like you were intimidated by him and the softness of his presence. He made your palms sweat and your mind whirl.
âIâm gonna go find Jisung,â Jiyoon speaks up, bolting past Chenle before you can stop her.
âI didnât think youâd come.â Chenle pushes himself off the wall, walking over to the counter opposite of you, gaze soft as he looks you over. He hones in on the bracelet on your wrist before flicking his eyes back to yours.
âI probably wonât stay long.â You wet your lips and sigh. âI just feel off.â
âDo you wanna talk about it?â he asks.
âWith you?â You blink at him.
He chuckles, running his fingers through his damp hair. âYeah, with me. Thereâs a swing out on the patio if youâd feel better away from people. Itâs kinda stuffy in here.â
âItâs your party, though,â you remind him. âYou just won a game, Captain. Thatâs a big deal.â
âMy lucky charm was there.â He glances down at your wrist again.
Your cheeks burn, and you clasp your hands together behind your back. âThe patio sounds nice.â
He gives a small, satisfied grin, and makes his way toward the door to your left. He opens it and waits. You get the hint, shuffling past him to the backyard. His scentâa graceful blend of vanilla and sandalwoodâwafts toward you, fresh and strong. Once again, your face reddens at the realization of how much attention youâre giving him.
The porch is wooden, the slats beneath your feet slightly creaking as you walk to the swing. You watch Chenle closely as he follows you, equally relieved and disappointed by how much distance he leaves between the two of you.
You sit in a comfortable silence for a moment, you crossing your legs and Chenle using his feet to propel forward and backward without ever leaving the ground.
Breathing in the night air, you relish in how fresh it feels filling your lungs. Inside, your worries swarmed you, but out here, youâre alright.
Chenle closes his eyes and leans his head back, allowing you a moment or two to appreciate more of him. Your gaze sweeps down his face and over his neck, and you wonder why youâre even paying attention to such things.
âWhy donât you like parties?â he asks.
âItâs not that I donât like them.â You shrug and pick at the seams on your jeans. âA couple bad experiences justâŠmakes you weary, you know?â
âSure.â He pauses. âThanks for coming, by the way. To the game. And the party, too. We didnât really start off on the right foot, but Iâm glad we didnât leave it there.â
âOh, speaking of which.â You push your wrist toward him, the blue and gold thread wrapped around it reflecting the light from the opposite side of the window. âYou can have this back now.â
âWhatâll I do without my good luck charm?â He quirks an eyebrow at you.
You chuckle quietly and roll your eyes. âJiyoon told me you guys donât lose either way. I donât think you need me.â
He tentatively wraps his fingers around your arm. Your gaze darts to his, the breath caught in your throat. You hadnât expected the warmth from his touch, or the way you swore sparks just whizzed through your skin.
âCâmere,â he murmurs, giving you a gentle tug. âIâll take it off if thatâs what you want.â
You shuffle closer, and without much thought behind it, youâre nearly pressing against him, with your feet planted on the opposite side of his lap. Youâre somehow not touching him still, but youâre engulfed in the body heat radiating off of him and the smell of his cologne.
He places your hand on top of your knee and twirls the bracelet around until he finds the knot. âWas it someone I know?â he asks, concentration taking over his tone.
âWho?â
âThe guy that somehow convinced you not to go to parties anymore.â Chenle doesnât look at you when he says it, he continues working away at the thread on your wrist.
âI donât think so,â you reply, gulping as you pull away until the bracelet is out of his reach. âNot sure you really hang out with that crowd.â
He rests his hand on your knee, his face scrunched as he debates with himself what he should say. âI donât know the full story, but nobody should control you. Especially not some dude who clearly is a prick. Whatever habits you picked up from him, I really hope youâre able to forget them and be who you want to be.â
âThanks,â you mutter, not expecting the surge of emotions to hit you until your eyes start welling. You laugh at yourself, shaking your head and taking a deep breath. âIâm sorry. For class today. Iâve learned itâs always better to assume the worst.â
âI noticed.â He smiles, tapping his fingers.
His feet keep the swing moving even with you positioned over him like this. You try to pretend you donât feel the movement of his sweats against your jeans. What the hellâs gotten into you today?
âKeep the bracelet,â he says. âCan I give you my number? In case you ever need anything?â
You grab your phone out of your back pocket, unlock it, and hand it to him. âJust send yourself a text.â You lean closer while you watch his thumbs dance over the keyboard. His shoulder brushes yours, and when he finishes his text, he looks over at you.
Youâre much nearer to him than you anticipated, gulping once you see the swirls of brown in his irises. He wets his lips, fingers splaying out further around your knee. Shifting toward you, he turns ever-so-slightly, his face only inches away from yours.
Youâve known him for less than twenty-four hours, but somehow, you find yourself wanting to kiss him. Maybe itâs from the way his full lips are parted, fresh mint on his breath, or perhaps itâs that odd craving of intimacy youâve missed since you left Woojin in the first place.
âIf you need anything,â he whispers. âAnything at all. Call me, okay?â
You nod, entranced by the little details of him that come together to make him who he is. The cologne. His finally-dried hair parted in the middle. The softness of his touch. His sympathetic stare that doesnât feel at all like pity, but you canât place how someone you just met could actually care about you.
âSorry, for some reason, I just really, really want toââ Heâs interrupted by the door opening, the music loud enough to make both of you freeze as if youâre doing something wrong.
â(Y/N), are you out here? Jiyoon said she left you aloâoh.â Soobin halts as soon as she sees you and Chenle. She blinks a few times, like thatâll change the sight in front of her.
âWhereâs Heewon?â you ask.
âShe went upstairs with Mark.â
Chenle snorts, scratching his forehead. âGirl knows what she wants, huh?â
âSheâs not shy,â you reply.
âAre you ready to go?â Soobin asks. âPretty sure Jiyoon plans on staying with Jisung, so Iâm ready if you are.â
Disappointment floods your chest at the thought of cutting your conversation with Chenle short. You look at him to ask what heâd prefer.
âIâll see you in class tomorrow?â
He smiles softly. âYeah, Iâll be there.â
You not-so-gracefully swing your legs over his lap to reach the ground, stopping once youâre on your feet to glance back at him. âYou sure you donât want the bracelet back?â
âI like how it looks on you,â he says, shaking his head. âItâs all yours.â
You give him one last smile, and then you walk past Soobin inside. She leads you through the house to the front door, and itâs only when youâre in her car that she looks at you expectantly.
âWhat was that?â she asks you.
âWhat was what?â
She glares at you. âOh, come on. You were on top of him. Your faces were so close I thought I was about to witness you kissing a man.â
âI was not about to kiss Chenle.â You give her a pointed look.
âOh, my God, and now the man has a name?â Soobinâs face scrunches up. âFirst, Jiyoon starts dating Jisung, second, Heewon is hopping on Markâs dick, and I really thought Iâd be safe with you, but Chenle?â
âThereâs nothing going on between me and him,â you remind her. âHeâs my lab partner. And Iâm allowed to have friends.â
She opens her mouth to speak, but your phone dings obnoxiously in your lap. You look at it, and when you see the contact name Chenle gave himself, you chuckle.
âWho is it?â Soobin asks.
âOh, itâsâŠâ you trail off, annoyance creeping in when you realize the reaction you just had to him. âItâs Chenle.â
âOh, for fuckâs sake.â She lets out an exasperated groan. âIâve already lost the war.â
The next few weeks pass by. You see Chenle in class every day, and he somehow convinced you to go to the games he had over that span of time. Jiyoon hadnât lied to youâthey simply do win every game they have.
It became normal for not only Chenle to eat lunch with you, Heewon, Jiyoon, and Soobin, but Mark and Jisung, too. Seeing Mark actively talking to and hanging out with Heewon shocked you, but you were pleasantly surprised.
Youâd grown quite accustomed to Chenle and his friendship, to the point where he always sat next to you, so close that your legs touched. His bracelet was still latched around your wrist. You rarely took it off, and when you did, the second you were able to put it back on, you did.
Jiyoon rests her head on Jisungâs shoulder, and his arm loops around her waist and pulls her tight. Mark whispers something to Heewon, who giggles and pushes his shoulder gently. Soobin sits next to you and Heewon, but the more the latter giggles, the closer to you Soobin scoots.
â(Y/N), youâre coming to the game tonight, right?â Mark asks from across the table.
âUnfortunately, youâll be without me tonight,â you tell him, bumping your knee against Chenleâs. âI have a big test on Friday. But Iâll be at the party.â
Mark salutes you and gives you an apparent nod of approval. âDonât know what Chenle will do without his good luck charm.â
âHeâll do just as well as he did before he knew I existed.â You laugh and run your fingers through your hair.
Chenle grabs your hand to look at the thread, gaze darting over to yours as a tiny smirk forms on his lips. âAs long as you donât take this off, Iâll be fine.â
âRight, because if I do, youâll be so sad you canât play.â You fake a pout, and his smirk turns into a full-blown grin.
âBroken hearts kill people, (Y/N). Be considerate.â
âWow, theyâre flirting in real time,â Jiyoon says, nodding.
âWeird, because Chenle doesnât do that in front of us usually,â Jisung mutters back to her.
You crumple up one of the papers in front of you and throw it at your friends, and it bounces right off Jiyoonâs forehead.Â
âNice.â Chenle high fives you, and you laugh at Jiyoonâs narrowed eyes.
Neither of you deny whatâs happening, and it makes your stomach twist and turn with something you canât recognize. Whateverâs happening to you, you donât hate it, but it makes you nervous. Your heart races in his presence, and any time youâre alone with him, you want to kiss him.
Soobin and Heewon have another class to attend, so Mark offers to walk them there. The three of them stand and say their goodbyes. Mark loops his arm through Heewonâs and watches her fondly as he walks away with her.
âI thought he was a player,â you muse. âNow heâs all over her.â
âNo, no,â Chenle replies. âI said he has the highest body count. But when he likes someone, he takes it seriously. Heâs not a player or anything, he just happens to like sex.â
You nod in understanding and shrug. âI guess I didnât think that was possible.â
âI mean, no offense to Heewon at all, but we were surprised he wanted more. Not anything to do with her, but he was just planning on going with the flow for the last couple semesters,â Jisung adds, chewing the inside of his cheek.
âSurprised on behalf of Mark, I get it.â You hold your hands up before dropping them back in your lap. Grabbing your bottle of water, you sip from it.
âAnd what about you two? You seem awfully close lately. Anything happening behind closed doors?â Jiyoon wiggles her eyebrows, and you full-on choke on your drink.
âClassy,â Chenle says to her, putting his hand on your lower back. âAre you okay?â
âYep.â You try to clear your throat, your face burning at the realization he hasnât vehemently denied or confirmed anything. Like heâs not going to answer until youâve made yours clear.
âItâs a pretty simple question,â Jiyoon replies. âAnd you guys have been hanging out a lot. And I donât really think he can say he doesnât want toââ
His touch is now burning a hole right through the small of your back, and when you tense up, heâs quick to remove it.
âI donât think we should talk about this,â Chenle interjects, resting his elbows on the table.
âSee? That wasnât a denial.â Jiyoon grins widely as if sheâs proud of herself.
Your friend seems acutely aware you havenât said anything either, and you know this is her way of trying to push you out of your shell. Chenleâs not denying his attraction to you, and you almost prefer it this way. Most people would jump to the âno, weâre just friendsâ much too quickly for comfort, but itâs clear heâs not going to do anything to confuse you.
âIâll see you after the game, right?â he asks, gaze soft despite the topic Jiyoon brought up.
You smile at him. âYeah, of course. If I finish my homework at a decent time, Iâll try to make the game.â
âCool.â He nods and stands up. âJisung and I have a class, so Iâll see you later.â
Jisung kisses Jiyoon, placing his hand on the back of her neck. It lasts too long for comfort, which leaves you and Chenle to exchange awkward looks. Jisung pulls away first, pressing another quick peck to her cheek before he stands up and walks away with Chenle.
âI feel like that wasnât really necessary.â You scrunch your face at her.
âThe second you kiss Chenle, youâll realize how necessary it really is.â Jiyoon grins, reaching into her backpack for a bag of chips. âItâs been a while for you. Live a little. Not that youâve ever reallyâŠhad a good experience with that kind of stuff.â
âAh yes, thank you for the reminder.â You snort, looking over your shoulder to see Chenle and Jisung in the distance. âI will not be kissing Chenle.â
âWhy not?â
âWhy would I?â you counter.
âUh, because you like him?â
âKissing requires both parties wanting it, Ji.â You shuffle through your notebook, absentmindedly looking at your notes.
She frowns at you in silence.
âWhat?â
âYou think that man doesnât want to kiss you? Or get you undressed?â
âOkay, maybe. But just because we want to doesnât mean we should. Or that we will.â You close your book and sigh as you look at your friend. âIâm not ready for something like that.â
âNot ready? Thatâs such a sad excuse and you know it. Heâd never treat you like Woojin did.â
âItâs really only been a few months, okay? If he really likes me, heâll give me time. If not, heâll move on, and weâll be the same way we have been for the past few weeks. Weâre friends, Ji.â You gather your things to put them in your bag.
âI think youâre just scared he doesnât want you.â Jiyoon narrows her eyes at you. âTry it. Literally try to kiss him tonight and see what happens.â
âYouâre crazy. I will see you at the party.â But as you finally move away from your friend, images of kissing Chenle flash in front of your brain, and you realize how much that really is everything you want.
You were gonna kiss him. After the rest of the afternoon debating with yourself, you decided that was the best course of action. The past be damned, you deserve good thingsâand if Chenle is one of those things, then so be it.
Youâve been at his house for an hour, hanging out with him, Jisung, Mark, and a handful of other people you didnât really know. You sat next to him on the couch, his arm loosely thrown over the cushion behind you.
Shifting closer to him, you rest your head on his shoulder, and his grip tightens naturally, his fingertips brushing the skin of your forearm. Thereâs no way youâll kiss him in front of a group of people, but youâre not sure how to pull him away. He talks animatedly with his friends, laughing and celebrating their most recent win.
After a few moments, he leans close to whisper in your ear. âYou okay?â
âHm?â You blink at him, turning and nearly forgetting how to breathe when you see how easy it would be to press your lips to his. âYeah, Iâm good.â You lift your drink, but as soon as you do, someone hits Chenleâs arm behind you, and it makes you jolt as well, half of your alcohol pouring down your front. You gasp at the chill, gaping as you stand up.
âWhat the fuck?â Chenle sits up to put his drink down, throwing a glare over his shoulder to whoever ran into him.
Before you say anything, heâs right next to you with his hand on the small of your back. You allow him to lead you to the stairs, your face hot with embarrassment.
âSorry, Chenle, I should go home and changeââ
âYou can just put something of mine on,â he says, opening the first door on the right and allowing you to walk in first.
The room is somewhat bare, beige walls and dark flooring. Thereâs nothing really showing someone lives here despite the sweatshirt haphazardly thrown over the desk chair. His bed isnât made, the gray comforter bunched in the middle.
The music fades to background noise when he closes the door behind him. He goes into his dresser and pulls out a black T-shirt. When he hands it to you, you timidly take it from him.
âYou can change, Iâll wait for you downstairs,â he tells you, already turning.
âChenle, wait,â you call out, cringing at how quickly you said it. âStay. JustâŠclose your eyes or something.â
âOkay.â He frowns in confusion, but nods, facing the opposite direction.
Without wasting any more time, you pull your ruined shirt over your head and exchange it for his. Itâs the schoolâs logo on the front, and even though you donât look, you know his jersey number and last name are on the back.
Nerves eat away at your stomach as you approach him. Logically, you know he wonât reject you. He likes you just as much as you like him, but something still has you choking on the thought.
You put a hand on one of his shoulders. âChenle.â
He gulps as he turns back to face you, but you donât give him the time to say anything. Your hands move from his shoulders up to his face, cupping his cheeks and pulling him toward you. He allows it, gaze meeting yours once before his eyes flutter shut and your mouths meet.
His lips fit so perfectly with yours, it has you sighing against him. He wraps his arms around you, fisting your shirt as if he needs to ground himself. The pace is slow, his body flush to yours as your touch slides into his hair. Itâs softer than you imagined it to be, and you just canât get enough of him.
âFuck, wait.â Chenle pulls away. âYouâre not drunk, are you?â
You slap a hand over your mouth, face on fire as you turn away from him without an answer.
âDonât go,â he says, reaching out for you. âLook at me and tell me youâre sober so I can kiss you again.â
Your heart skips a beat, and you allow him to pull you back until your chest bumps into his. You put your hands flat on his chest, surprised to find his heart thumping just as hard as your own beneath your palm.
âI think you forgot you made me the one drink I hadâŠhalf of.â You peer at him through your lashes, the shine of your lip gloss reflecting off his lips.
âYouâre so fucking pretty,â he groans, his hand finding the back of your neck.
As soon as his mouth is on yours, your body arches into his, molding into him like youâre an extension of him. Youâre not sure exactly what youâre doing, but you know youâve never felt so comfortable with anyone else before. You move him backward until the backs of his knees press against his bed.
â(Y/N),â he whispers as you push him down until he sits on the mattress.
âIs this okay?â you ask him.
âYeah,â he mutters breathlessly, pulling at you. âCâmere, Sunshine.â
A shiver runs down your spine as you climb onto his lap, staring right into his eyes while you crave his kiss. You reach up and swipe your thumb across his bottom lip, entranced. âCall me that again.â
âSunshine.â He presses you as close as possible by the small of your back. âMy Sunshine.â
You kiss him, and when you shift on top of him, you gasp at the feeling of him hardening beneath his sweatpants.
ââM sorry,â he murmurs. âWe can stopââ
âIs that what you want?â you ask him, leaning back to look at his face.
He shakes his head, and itâs the first time youâve ever seen him so nervous. For the most part, Chenleâs a confident man, so seeing him with even the slightest bit of hesitation warms your heart. His vulnerable side is on full display for you, and youâll be damned if youâre the one who stops this moment.
âBut, (Y/N), I need you to know thatââ
âChenle, can you come help? This fucking guy wonâtâOh, shit. My bad.â Mark stands in the doorway, and instead of flying off Chenleâs lap, you bury your head in his neck. He cradles the back of your head as he looks at his friend.
âWhatâs going on?â Chenle asks.
âSome dude is refusing to leave but heâs been making a couple girls uncomfortable, and I have no idea where Jisung is.â
âProbably in his room with his girlfriend.â His chest rumbles as he narrows his eyes at Mark. âYeah, Iâm coming.â
You move off his lap and sit next to him on his bed. He presses a quick kiss to your cheek.
âIâll be right back.â And then heâs gone, following Mark downstairs.
You lie flat on his bed, patting your cheeks and fighting off a smile at the thought of what you just did. Amidst your happiness cloud, you donât realize your phone is vibrating in your pocket until itâs on the last ring. You grab for it, unsure of who would be calling you at a time like this when all of your friends are downstairs.
When you see the screen, you immediately shrink in on yourself. The contact name has been labeled as âdonât answer,â and by that logic, you already know who it is. As soon as you see it, the call stops, and it turns into a notification instead. You anxiously wait for the second call, knowing Woojin better than youâd like to.
Your breath catches in your throat and anxiety sprouts at the base of your spine, and sudden guilt smashes into you when you process what youâve done with Chenle. Your hands shake as you get a second notification, one that notifies you that youâve received a voicemail.
You unlock your phone and immediately play the message.
âHow fucking stupid do you think I am? Like I havenât heard whatâs going on with you and Chenle. Seriously, (Y/N)? You gonna let the whole basketball team get in your pants, too? Heâs not as good as me. I bet every time youâre on his dick, you wish you were with me. Youâll come back when you realize he doesnât really want you. The second you stop putting out, heâll drop you so fast, just wait. The thought of you with him makes me so fuckingâwait âtil I fucking see him, and youâll see. Do you know what youâve done? Youâre such a bitch, youâre pitting people against each other. Iâll get you back.â
The voicemail ends abruptly, and bile rises in your throat. Your eyes well with tears, and you cradle your knees up to your chest, your phone falling onto Chenleâs mattress. You become acutely aware of the way his shirt feels on your skin, and your guilt rages on. Youâre not sure how long youâre sitting there before Chenle comes back.
But it doesnât matter, because youâre hystericalâyou canât understand a word of what heâs saying, and you fight against his grasp like heâs suddenly not the same man you know.
âHey.â He cups your cheeks, stopping your abrupt movements and forcing you to look into his eyes. âBreathe, talk to me. What the hell just happened?â
Your chest heaves and you stare at him in shock. Youâre sure anyone else would have sent you away at the sight of the mess you became in seconds.
âWas it me? Did I do this?â he asks, thumbs stroking your skin.
Your heart pangs in your chest, and you quickly shake your head, unable to open your mouth to explain. Chenleâs face scrunches in relief as his chest deflates.
âCome here.â He tugs at you until you practically fall into his lap. You curl into him, and he lets you cry on his shoulder.
âSorry,â you choke out, gripping onto his sleeve. âI wanted tonight toââ
âDonât do that,â he says. âYou donât need to apologize to me. Can youâŠplease tell me what happened?â
Youâre almost too embarrassed to tell him about the message. Heâd find out things about your past, and it might change his opinion of you. Although, the concern in his gaze as he wipes your tears away becomes enough convincing. This is Chenle. You trust him, inexplicably.
âVoicemail,â you whisper, jaw quivering all over again.
Chenle kisses your forehead and reaches for your phone. You feel queasy as he finds what heâs looking for and puts the device up to his ear. Faintly, you hear it play. You watch Chenleâs face closely, waiting for the disgust to show like you expect.
Instead, as the recording finishes, his jaw clenches, fire raging in his brown eyes. He tosses your phone to the side and tugs you closer to his chest. You sniffle, and his grip tightens on you. Heâs rigid, unmoving except for his hand that runs through your hair.
âChenle, I havenât said anything about you to anyone.â You look up at him. âI donât know where he heard any of that from, âcause Iâd never spread rumors.â
âI didnât think you did,â he says, tone soft. âI donât think any part of that is your fault.â
âYouâre not mad?â
âAt you?â he asks incredulously. âOf course, Iâm not mad at you. His actions canât be blamed on you.â
For the first time since you received that call, your heart calms. You stare at him, lips parted in shock, and wait for the other shoe to drop. Wiping the rest of your tears, you clear your throat. Fear creeps up your spine, and the only thing on your mind is not scaring him off. Not doing anything to rock the boat so you can keep him, because youâve already unknowingly fallen for him.
You sniffle, readjusting yourself on his lap so youâre straddling him again. He looks at you in confusion, but his hands find purchase on your hips. You tangle your fingers in his hair, swallowing the reproach you feel toward this situation, and kiss him like the past half an hour doesnât exist. He returns the gesture, but itâs not like it was earlier. The passion has all but drained, and his touches are tentative.
He pulls away, eyes scanning over your face. âWhat are you doing?â
âWhat we were supposed to do in the first place,â you mention, grinding down on him.
He opens his mouth to speak, but a quiet curse comes out instead. Your hands shake as you reach down to the hem of your shirt and tug it over your head. Like Woojin said, as long as youâre giving Chenle what he wants, he wonât leave you.
âStop,â Chenle breathes out, making you freeze above him.
âWhatâs wrong?â
âI canât do this right now.â He drops his head into his palms. âIs this about the voicemail? You think you have to do this for me?â
Your silence is the only answer he needs.
âGod, what the hell?â He removes you from his lap and stands up, tugging his fingers through his hair in frustration.
âDonât go. Please.â Your voice is so small, you barely recognize it. âIâll do better. Whatever youââ
âNo.â He strides over to you and helps you to your feet, hands cupping your face as he kisses your forehead. âNo, baby, Iâm not going anywhere, promise. I just need a second, okay?â
âIâm sorry.â
âDonât be. Letâs get your shirt back on.â He leans down to grab the black fabric off the floor and helps you pull it back on.
âChenle,â you whisper.
âYeah?â His eyebrows pinch together as he looks at you.
âDid youâŠwant to?â You cringe at how small you sound. âEarlier, at least. You wanted me?â
âI did. I do. But I want you to want it, too,â he explains. âYou shouldnât ever feel like you have to do something you donât want to, especially not things like that. No real man would ever ask you for that.â
âThank you,â you say, taking a deep breath. âCan I stay with you tonight? Please?â
âIâd prefer it that way, actually.â He chuckles. âIâm gonna be right back, okay? Gonna tell Mark to end the party now, and Iâll be right back. Youâll be okay by yourself?â
You nod, and surprisingly, you actually mean it.
âIf you donât want to sleep in your jeans, you can get a pair of sweats from my dresser.â He kisses your cheek before heading downstairs.
While heâs gone, you change out of your jeans, a dull ache in your head from the sobbing. After you have his sweats on, you climb into bed and slide beneath his comforter. Youâre surrounded by his scent like this. You want to melt into the sheets and never leave, surrounded by everything he has to offer all the time.
When he comes back, he locks his door behind him and lays down next to you. He doesnât make any moves to pull you close, so you take the initiative and bury your head in his chest, wrapping an arm around his middle.
âGet some rest,â he whispers. âIâm sorry you have to deal with that piece of shit.â
âIâll be okay,â you tell him, sighing. âI have you now.â
His grip is firm on you when you wake up, the steady rising and falling of his chest telling you heâs fast asleep. You sigh in content. Youâd never really understood what people meant before, when they said things about not being able to get close enough. Heâs pressed flush against you, but you feel as if itâs not enough.
You have no idea if your friends are here, but you carefully crawl out of bed so as to not disturb Chenle. Rubbing your eyes, you grab your phone to check your notifications. Jiyoon texted you a few times to ask if youâd gotten home okay. Sheâd been upstairs long before you, so it doesnât surprise you she has no idea you stayed with Chenle.
He stirs with a short groan, but doesnât open his eyes. You bite back a smile at the softness of his face. His cheek is smooshed into the pillow, and youâre surprised by the odd urge to kiss all over him. Instead, you opt to go into the kitchen for some water.
When you walk in the room, youâre met with Jisung, Jiyoon, and Heewon. Your friends blink at you in surprise, and Jisung laughs to himself.
âThink we found her.â He nudges Jiyoon.
âYou couldâve just responded to my text and told me you got dick last night.â Jiyoon throws her hands up in exasperation.
âNothing happened.â You shrug. âJisung, water bottles?â
He points to the fridge, you give him a thumbs up, and then you grab one, twisting the cap off and sipping from it.
âYou dirty liar, youâre in his clothes.â Heewon narrows her eyes at you. âHis last name is on your back.â
âI spilled alcohol on my clothes,â you reply. âMark was there, ask him.â
âNothing happened?â Jiyoon asks. âNothing at all? Not even some light petting or you know, head?â
You glare at her. âYouâre such a perv.â
âMark said he saw something last night,â Heewon blurts out. âAnd then I said, what? My sweet, innocent (Y/N) would never do something like that. But then I thought about it, and it obviously had to be you because Chenle wouldnât randomly take another girl in his room.â
âOh, my God.â Your face heats up. âYeah, we kissed, but thatâs it. Let me breathe before you start interrogating me.â
Jiyoon exclaims in excitement, shaking Jisungâs arm. âThey finally fucking kissed!â
You grab a second bottle for Chenle, and then you make your way back toward the stairs.
âWait!â Jiyoon calls. âYou have to give me the details. You canât just drop that on us and then leave!â
You turn toward her, giving her a pointed look. âNot telling you anything. Iâm going back upstairs.â
âYeah, go kiss Chenle again.â Jiyoon snickers.
âMaybe I will.â You whirl around, gasping mid-laugh when you smack right into Chenleâs chest. Embarrassment shoots through you as one of the water bottles tumbles from your hand. âOh, I was just about toââ
âKiss me again?â His lips form the tiniest smirk.
âWater. For you. Butââ
âItâs okay, Iâll do it for you.â His palm finds the back of your neck, pushing you closer to him so he can connect your lips. You immediately melt into him, the other bottle falling as you wrap your arms around his shoulders.
The only thing that pulls you away from him in that moment is the obnoxious sound of Jiyoon and Heewon cheering behind the two of you. Your face burns, and you put your palms flat on his chest.
âGood morning.â You clear your throat.
âWouldâve been better with you in my bed instead of the kitchen,â he whispers in your ear.
âHey, hey! No secrets.â Jiyoon pouts.
âSorry, sheâs very convinced weâreâŠyou know.â You purse your lips. âDid you want to stay down here?â
âCame to see if you were still here,â he admits. âIâd much rather be upstairs with you right now.â
You glance over your shoulder at your friends and Jisung, glaring at them before returning your attention back to Chenle. âMy peaceful attempt to get water was thwarted by my loser friends assuming we had sex.â
âYouâve got some nosy friends.â He grabs the water bottles from the floor and gestures back up the stairs. âExactly why we lock doors in this house.â
When you get to class the next day, youâre surprised that Chenleâs nowhere to be found. He hadnât mentioned anything to you, so you grab your phone and send him a quick text. Half of the class passes by before you start to worry. He hasnât messaged you back, and heâs still not here.
You walk up to your professor, fidgeting with your hands. âExcuse me, sorry if this is weird, but did Chenle email or anything about not being here?â
âNot that Iâm aware of,â she replies. âBut I do think the basketball team had something planned for today. If youâre looking for him, he may be in the gym.â
You nod at her to thank her, and then you do exactly as she says. Itâs unlike him to be MIA all day, and youâre sure he wouldnât be upset seeing you, so why not?
Youâre not expecting the room to be so full when you walk in. You donât see him immediately, but you see Jiyoon and Jisung, so you approach them.
Jiyoon spots you first, confusion sprouting on her features. â(Y/N)? What are you doing here?â
âUm.â You blush, suddenly embarrassed that you came all this way to find Chenle. âHave you heard from Chenle? He wasnât in class and he wasnât responding, soâŠâ
âYouâre so cute when you worry,â Jiyoon says, nudging your shoulder. âYeah, the captains of the sports teams do this once a year or whatever. Heâs been here all day.â
âOh, okay, well, Iâm gonna head to lunch. Are you coming?â You tilt your head and adjust your bag.
âHeewonâs here, too. You didnât know about this?â
You frown, taken aback by everyone knowing whatâs going on but you. It gives you an uneasy feeling, your stomach twisting.
The door on the far end opens, and Chenle walks through, clearly frustrated at whatever he just witnessed back there. His anger melts the second he sees you, and he makes his way over.
He pulls you into a hug. âWhatâre you doing here?â
âIâŠâ You pause, throwing one of your arms around him. âYou werenât in class, and our professor said you might be here. Iâm a little confused.â
Chenle glances around before he gestures toward the door. âCâmon, Iâll explain.â
You let him lead you away from Jiyoon and Jisung. Once youâre far enough from the crowd, he grabs your hand.
âIâm sorry I didnât tell you about this,â he tells you. âI justâŠI figured you knew, but this is a schoolwide event. Which means everyone on a sports team is here, and I didnât want you to feel pressured to come knowingââ
âZhong, not inviting your girlfriend to things? Isnât that frowned upon?â
You freeze at the sound of that voice, and suddenly, everything makes sense. Chenle runs his tongue over his teeth, immediate irritation sparking on his face.
âDidnât we just have a conversation about you being around her, Woojin?â His body tenses as he turns toward the other man. âDonât make me get us both in trouble before such an important week.â
He stands directly in front of you, blocking your view of the man. You hold onto the back of his T-shirt and tug gently to tell him itâs not worth it.
âWell, if sheâs over me, what does it matter if she sees me? Are you scared youâll lose out to a better man?â Woojinâs tone seeps with misplaced confidence. âCâmon, sheâs not that good to where you have to get so defensive.â
Chenle quickly moves forward, making you lose your grip on him. Fortunately, Jisung and Mark jump in, hands on his shoulders to push him back.
âHey, calm down,â Mark says in his ear. âWe canât play without our captain.â
Jiyoon and Heewon shuffle past the boys over to you, but youâre focused more on Chenle than yourself at this point.
âCâmon, letâs go,â Jiyoon says, tugging at your arm. âLet Chenle handle it.â
âWhat? No, heâs clearly not handling it. Iâm okay.â You move around Mark to stand in front of Chenle, not sparing Woojin a glance. Despite the uneasiness you feel, you care more about calming him down than giving Woojin the satisfaction of a response from you.
You put your hand on his chest, and his anger all but dissipates when he looks at you. His eyes soften, and he nods at his friends so theyâll let him go.
âIâll be back,â Chenle says. âIâm gonna take her home.â
âYou donât have to leave for me.â You grin up at him. âIâll make it fine by myself. I shouldnât have come.â
âTrust me, I need a walk.â He brushes his pants off and puts his arm around you, guiding you in the opposite direction. The glare he throws at Woojin would be enough to send chills down your spine if it was directed at you.
Once youâre out in the fresh air, you finally feel like you can breathe. Chenleâs still tense as he walks you through the courtyard.
âAre you okay?â you ask him. âIâm sorry, I shouldâve just waited to hear from you, but I was worried.â
âDonât apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for, youâre not the one whoâs an asshole.â He pulls you tighter and kisses the side of your head. âAre you okay?â
âYeah, Iâm good.â You nod, looking down at your feet as you walk.
He pauses, fingers tapping against your skin. âIâm really not mad at you. I wanted you there, but I didnât want you to be in a situation like that. So, if anything, I shouldâve told you about what I was doing today. I didnât mean to make you worry.â
You stop, frowning at him. He tilts his head at you and raises his eyebrows in confusion.
âYou did that for me?â
He gives you a small smile. âIt definitely wasnât for me. If I was being selfish, I wouldâve brought you.â
Instead of responding, you tangle your fingers in his hair and kiss him. He finally relaxes and rests his hand on the small of your back.
He drops his head on your shoulder, sighing. âDonât wanna go back. Do you care if I just stay with you for the day?â
âWell, you missed our assignment directions, so I think you probably should.â You intertwine your fingers with his and resume your journey.
You and Chenle end up in your room, and he sits next to you on your bed while you shuffle through your papers from today. He shifts, spreading his legs to pull you between them, his arms squeezing around your middle.
âHe makes me want to commit murder. I can only imagine how you feel.â He breathes you in.
You chuckle, leaning back on his chest. âHonestly? I just wanted you. I didnât care about him or whatever he was saying. Plus, he has no idea what heâs talking about. He sucks.â
âOh, thatâs working,â he murmurs. âTell me all about how he sucks, please.â
âHe never let me go to parties. Couldnât have a simple conversation with any man that wasnât him. Always hung out with his friends instead of me. I had to ask permission if I wanted to do anything. Even if it was with Jiyoon or Heewon.â Your face heats up, and youâre glad he canât see you. âHe talks about being this great man but he never actuallyâŠtook care of me.â
Chenle tenses all over again. âWhat?â
âUh.â You clear your throat and shake your head. âNothing.â
âNo, no, sorry, I shouldnât have done that,â he says. âIâm justâŠI guess I shouldnât really be surprised, huh? Any man that talks like that probably doesnât even know how to use his parts.â
âYeah, he kinda sucks.â
âIâm stuck between wanting to kick his ass or showing you what it feels like.â He kisses where your neck meets your shoulder. âIs he the only guy youâve been with?â
Your thighs clench together at the sudden heat you feel, and you gulp, nodding. âI mean, IâveâŠdone things to myself. But yeah. Heâs the only one.â
âIâŠâ His eyelashes flutter against your skin. âGod, I could kill him.â
You turn your head until you meet his gaze, heart pounding in your chest as you work up the courage to say what you want. His eyes dart down to your mouth before he wets his lips.
You trace your finger over his cheekbone, shifting back against him. âWhy donât you stop thinking about him and show me?â
He kisses you hard, hands clenching at the fabric of your shirt. You try to move so you can straddle his lap, but he tightens his grip instead.
âRelax, baby,â he murmurs. âYou donât have to do anything. Just lay back and let me take care of you, yeah?â
âAre you sure? I donât want you to be uncomfortable.â
âDo you want me to touch you?â Chenleâs hand slides down to the button of your jeans, and your breath catches in your throat.
âIf you wantââ
âDo you want me to touch you?â he repeats. âIâm not doing it if you donât want it.â
âYes.â You look into his eyes. âPlease.â
âThere you go.â He gives you a small smile as he pops the button and unzips the zipper. âLift up for me for a second? Wanna get these off of you.â
You do as he asks, and he pushes the fabric down to your knees. With anyone else, youâd feel embarrassed to be seen this way, but Chenleâs lips against your neck and fingertips exploring your bare thighs has you forgetting all about it.
You lean back on him, already panting at the thought of him so close to where you want him. He traces along the hem of your panties before tracing down to your core, ghosting from your entrance to your clit. You bite your lip to stop yourself from making a sound.
âYou can stop me whenever if you want to, okay? Donât think you have to do this because you already said yes.â He rubs tentative circles on you with just enough pressure to have you squirming.
âI want it,â you tell him. âI want you.â
âI know, baby. Iâm letting you know itâs okay if you change your mind.â His cock is hard already, digging into you back as he presses a little harder.
This time, you canât hold back the moan fluttering past your lips. You put your hand over your mouth, and he uses his other hand to pull at your wrist.
âLet me hear you.â His voice is deeper than youâre used to, thick with want for you. âTells me if Iâm doing a good job.â
He stops his movements to slide his hand beneath your panties. His fingers move to your entrance, and he curses under his breath and the feeling of your wetness. You cry out when he slips them inside you, not sure what to do with your hands as your eyes roll.
âGood?â he asks, kissing along your neck. His body radiates heat. It pours into you, your chest heaving while you reach up to tangle your fingers in his hair and kiss him hard.
âMore,â you whimper.
His tongue enters your mouth, delicately wrestling with yours. He pumps his hand faster, his palm finding your clit with every thrust. Youâre embarrassed by the way your legs shake, but you donât break the kiss. Your hips buck up, a knot forming in your stomach that youâve only ever felt by yourself. Itâs more intense when itâs Chenle, the butterflies swarming around the closer you get.
He curls his fingers, finding your spot. You squirm and moan as your high takes you, your grip on his hair tightens while you grind down. While you float on the cloud he created for you, he moves slowly to bring you back down to earth, and he kisses all over your face. He gently removes his fingers and wipes them on his shirt.
âGod, I wanna fucking eat you out so bad,â he pants. âFuck.â
You push your jeans off the rest of the way and turn around to straddle his lap. His hands find your hips, holding you away from the noticeable bulge in his shorts.
You frown. âWhat about you?â
âBaby, Iâm good. Iâm just gonna go take care of it in the bathroom.â
âYou donât want me toââ Your chest deflates.
âThatâs not it.â He chuckles breathlessly. âI promise you, the only thing I want more than being inside you right now is making sure you know that me doing things for you doesnât mean you have to for me, too.â
Youâre silent for a moment, blinking at him as he traces shapes on your hips.
âAre you okay?â he asks.
âIâI think Iâm in love with you,â you say it so quietly, you barely hear the words yourself.
His eyes widen, and within seconds, heâs pulling you in for another kiss. He cradles the back of your head as he flips you over. Resting between your legs, his lips work on yours like heâs never kissed you before.
When he pulls away, your face is still on fire from your confession.
âIâm so sorry,â you tell him. âI donât know why Iâd say something like that, and you donât have toââ
âI love you, too,â he cuts you off, smiling. âGive me, like, five minutes, Sunshine. Iâll be right back.â
Before you protest, heâs jumping away from you and heading into the bathroom. You splay out on your bed, giggling to yourself as you replay what happened in your head. The thought of him taking care of himself in there has your imagination wandering dangerously. You start to wonder what would happen if you offered to help him.
You finally decide to get up and grab a pair of sweatpants from your dresser. As soon as you have them secured on you, Chenle comes out of the bathroom. He wraps his arms around you, pulling your back to his chest.
âSorry you had to do that,â you murmur, taking a deep breath.
âItâs not the first time,â he admits, chuckling.
Your jaw drops and you turn to look at him. âSeriously?â
âThe world will fall to its knees when you finally accept how fucking perfect you are.â He kisses the tip of your nose. âCome lay down with me. Weâll worry about homework later, yeah?â
You curl into his chest when you join him on your bed, legs tangling with his. He runs his fingers through your hair, pressing his lips to the top of your head. A giddy feeling runs rampant in your chest, and all you want is to stay here forever with him.
âThank you,â you whisper to him, squeezing his waist.
âYou donât have to do that.â His reply makes his chest rumble. âI promise Iâll always treat you the way you deserve.â
âI donât doubt that for a second,â you hum, closing your eyes.
His heart thrums in his chest, the sound filling your ears and calming you despite how fast it is. You make him as nervous as he makes you, and that thought alone puts a smile on your face.
He gives you a sense of calm you havenât felt in a long timeâyouâre safe.
For a week, you donât see Chenle except in class. It disappoints you, but as his championships approach, heâs been practicing nonstop. He offered to come over after his practices, but heâd be stumbling in past midnight, so you declined.
Youâre getting ready for bed when you hear a knock on your door. Hesitating, youâre not sure who would be at your place, let alone knocking. You check your phone to make sure you didnât miss any texts, and then you look out the peephole.
You recoil at the sight of Woojin, stumbling back until you bump into your table. What the hell was he doing at your house.
â(Y/N), open the door.â He has to be shouting. His voice is much too clear. âI just wanna talk to you. I know Chenleâs not here, babe, let me in.â
Your first instinct is to grab your phone out of your pocket, but youâre not sure what you plan on doing.
âLet me in or Iâll find a way in without your help,â Woojin warns.
You turn away and bolt back to your room, closing it and locking it before your first instinct is to dial Chenleâs number.
âI was just about to call you,â he answers. âWe got out early so I was gonna see ifââ
âWoojinâs outside.â Your voice warbles as you try to stand steady, tugging your fingers through your hair. âHe said heâs gonna find a way in, and I donât remember if all the windows are locked orââ
âHey, hey, listen to me, okay? Iâm on my way. Go to your room and lock the door. Iâll be before you know it. Heâs not going to get to you.â His tone switches from lighthearted to dead serious, but somehow still comforting despite the situation.
âChenleââ
âI know, baby. Make sure your door is locked.â
Woojin pounds on the front door more, and you drop your phone.
âIf you think heâll make it before I get to you, youâre wrong. This couldâve been fucking easy, (Y/N)!â A cold edge takes over Woojin, and tears well in your eyes.
This man was forcing his way into your house, and fear paralyzes you from head to toe. You canât move, no matter how much you try. At least the noise alerts you to where he is, but when the silence sets in, you feel bile in your throat.
You sit on the floor, cradling your knees to your chest as you rock back and forth as your only option for response. Nothing changes, and suddenly, you hear a familiar voice through your bedroom door.
â(Y/N)? Itâs Mark, are you okay? Chenleâs outside.â
Itâs not enough. You canât speak or move to unlock the door, and you donât want Mark.
âHeâs taking care of it,â Mark continues.
After more silence, he seems to get that youâre not going to respond to anyone but Chenle.
A few more minutes pass, and a light knock sounds.
â(Y/N), open the door,â Chenle says softly. âIâm here, Sunshine. Come see me.â
You pick yourself up off the floor and make your way over to the door, unlocking it but not having enough energy to open it. As soon as he hears it, heâs in your room and wrapping you up in his arms.
âAre you okay?â He kisses the top of your head, his heart pounding in his chest. Pulling back, he grabs your face, wiping away the tears you donât recall shedding.
âHe tried toââ You choke on your words, opting to bury yourself in his grasp instead.
And then you see his hands, some of his knuckles split and bleeding. You gasp and grab his wrists, gaping at his injuries.
âChenle, what did you do?â
âJust taught him a lesson is all,â he tells you, shaking his head. âI want you to come stay with us for a little while, okay?â
âHuh?â
âI want you to pack a bag and come stay with me, Sungs, and Mark for a while.â
âI canât do that.â You put your hands on his shoulders. âYou said you handled it, right?â
âPlease?â He cups both your cheeks. âItâll make me feel better. I know he wonât try anything there.â
Reluctantly, you agree, and he helps you gather your things. He insists on carrying it for you, and he leads you through your house. When you make it outside, you see a handful of people you donât know and Mark and Jisung. You turn to look at Chenle.
âIsâŠis this the whole basketball team?â you ask.
âWe were all leaving when you called. They offered to help.â He shrugs.
Youâre exhausted by the time you make it to Chenleâs. Jiyoon and Heewon are already there, and when they see you, the looks on their faces tell you everything you need to know. Chenle guides you upstairs without a word.
âChenle,â you mutter after he closes the door.
âYeah?â
âI donât wanna talk about it, okay?â You fight your tears and grab his hands. âLet me help you clean up, and then I just want to go to bed.â
âAnything you need.â He kisses your forehead.
âDo you have a first-aid kit?â You sniffle and wipe at your eyes.
He leads you into his bathroom and grabs a plastic case from under the sink and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. Sliding onto his counter, you spread your legs to allow him room close to you. You donât say another word, you just get to work. He flinches when you wipe his wounds, and you sigh at the amount of damage done. All of it for you? It didnât make sense.
âIâm sorry,â he tells you, staring down at your movements. âIt just makes meâŠso mad that he thinks he can get away with trying to hurt you. So, Iâm sorry if I hurt you by doing that, but Iâm not sorry for protecting you.â
âYou brought the whole team.â You chuckle and kiss his cheek.
âYouâre important to me, and by definition, that makes you important to them, too.â He shrugs and pulls his hands away from you to grip the edge of the counter. âYouâre safe with them.â
âI wasnât done,â you scold him, but you enjoy his warmth anyway.
Chenle shakes his head. âJust let me look at you for a sec.â
Youâre sure your face is puffy, eyes bloodshot from tears you barely remember, but he stares at you so fondly you forget all about it. He gives you the faintest smile.
âCome to bed with me?â His voice is so soft, like heâs afraid of any louder octave breaking you into pieces.
You cup his cheeks, stroking his skin with your thumbs. âWhat if it gets infected?â
âIt wonât,â Chenle reassures you. âIâm exhausted. And I have class in the morning.â
You nod, and he takes a step back to allow you to get down. Following him into his bedroom, you feel how heavily sleep tugs on you, too. You sit on the edge of his bed as he moves his comforter so he can get under it. Watching him over your shoulder, you appreciate how soft he looks. All you want is to be close to him at all times. Whenever heâs away from you, the air is so much colder.
Chenle wraps his arm around you and pulls you to his chest so you can curl into him. âI love you. Iâm sorry I wasnât there for you.â
âI love you, too. And you got to me in time, thatâs all that matters.â Your mouth brushes his gently at first, and then you allow him to part your lips with his tongue.Â
Despite that and the way he holds you so tightly, thereâs no real heat behind this. You wrap your leg around his waist, and his hand moves down to your ass. Sighing, you shuffle again, getting lost in his kiss and the feeling of his hands all over you.
He squeezes you, making a short moan escape your lips. Resting his forehead against yours, he closes his eyes.
âWe should stop.â
âYouâre the one touching me,â you point out, tracing your thumb along his bottom lip. âWe can stop if you want to, but I want it. So, donât stop on my behalf.â
He rolls his hips toward you, pressing his hardening cock against your clothed entrance. âDoes it feel like I want to stop?â
âI want you so bad.â You sigh as you grind on him. âI havenât stopped thinking about you sinceââ Your face heats up at your confession, but he smiles.
âI let you cum one time, and now this,â he teases you, biting back a wider grin.
You smack his shoulder. âIt felt good.â
âItâs supposed to,â he retorts. âAnd if youâre ever with me and you donât finish, youâd better tell me. Because Iâll make it happen.â
âI havenât finished yet.â You continue grinding on him, his hardness sliding perfectly against you.
He massages your ass, the pressure of it slotting him firmly between your legs. You kiss him hard and let out a shuddering breath at the stimulation of your clit through your pants and underwear. His teeth sink into your bottom lip, and he tugs until you let out a short whine.
âGod, I donât wanna have you for the first time while Mark and Jisung can hear,â he groans, burying his head in your neck. âNeed to hear how Iâm making you feel.â
âSo let me just take care of you.â You move your hand down his body until you squeeze his bulge.
âYou donât have to,â he says, voice strained.
âIf I want to?â you ask.
He inhales sharply, but doesnât exhale. âWhatever you want, Sunshine.â
âClose your eyes and relax.â You kiss him gently before moving beneath the blanket.
He shifts onto his back, and you pull his pants down enough to palm him over his boxers. A short gasp leaves his lips. Thatâs enough for you to decide to slide your hand inside and grip his length. He throbs as your thumb rubs over the tip.
You're more nervous than youâd care to admit, but when you put the head in your mouth and suck, his low curse is all you need. You sink down further, attempting to relax your throat to take him deeper. He struggles to keep quiet, his moans sending bursts of wetness to your core.
You grab his hand, finding it fisted into the sheets, and bring it to your hair, hoping heâll get the message. He immediately starts guiding your head up and down on his cock, and the slight sting from his movements has you moaning around him.
âGonna cum,â he warns you. âFuck, baby, your mouth is so good.â
You dig your nails into his thigh, sinking all the way down until your eyes water from gagging on him. With one last groan, he spills down your throat. You swallow what you can, climbing out from under the blanket while he readjusts himself in his pants.
âYouâre fucking killing me,â he groans, reaching up to wipe the corner of your mouth. Before he moves away from you, you take his thumb in your mouth and suck.
âFeel better?â You quirk an eyebrow at him.
He shifts, laying you on your back so he can settle between your legs. Youâre a little surprised when he kisses you hard, tongue and all, considering you swallowed his load, but he doesnât seem to care about that.
âYour turn,â he mutters, kissing and nipping along your neck.
âYou shouldnât.â You run your fingers through his hair. âYour hands areââ
âOh, baby.â He chuckles. âI donât need my hands for what Iâm about to do to you.â
âWhat happened to not having to do things just because the other person did?â You chuckle as he plays with the hem of your pants.
âYou fucking earned it.â He nips your collarbone. âPlus Iâve wanted to taste you for so long. So, really, this is for me, too.â
âThat feels backwards.â
He lifts your shirt up so his lips can graze your skin on the way down, tongue dancing along. Your breathing becomes uneven from the anticipation. With him between your legs, you canât move to create the friction you crave.
âIs this okay?â he asks you.
You nod, helping him remove your panties. His gaze darkens as he sees your core, surely slick with your arousal. The pause he takes is minimal, and within seconds, heâs licking a broad stripe up your core. Your hand flies to his hair, whining as your back arches. He sucks your clit into his mouth, tongue flicking it fast. His arms wrap around your thighs to stop them from clenching around his head, and his nails digging into your skin amplifies your pleasure.
You squirm beneath him, moaning as he dips into your entrance. His nose nudges your sensitive bud, and you wonder how youâve gone this long without feeling this kind of pleasure. Lewd sounds emanate from where heâs attached to you as he works your entrance like heâs done it a hundred times.
You look at him, at the sight between your legs, and feel a whole new burst of heat between your legs. It feels like a rubber band is being pulled tight in your stomach, and you know damn well how soon itâll snap.
The second his gaze flicks up to yours while his mouth is attached to your core, your orgasm hits you hard. Your back arches as your hips buck, and you tug hard on his hair until heâs moaning against you.
He doesnât let up, helping you ride out your high before he starts to slow his pace. When youâve come down from it, he separates from you, sitting up on his knees to get a good look. His lips glisten with your arousal, and you wet your lips at the thought of the evident bulge in his pants.
âNot tonight, baby.â He wipes his face with the back of his hand. âNot with them in the house, and not after everything.â
He grabs you a clean pair of panties, sliding them up your legs before he kisses you deeply. You moan at the taste of yourself.
Once you nod, he practically collapses on top of you, his head resting on your chest. You like feeling the weight of him and his warmth, so you wrap your arms around him and hold him while you will your heart to calm down.
In the morning, Chenle kisses all over your face to wake you. You groan, pushing at him despite only wanting him closer.
âI have to get to class,â he tells you. âAnd I have practice later, but Iâm gonna leave a little early.â His lips trail to a sensitive spot below your ear.
âLeave practice early?â You fake disappointment. âWhy would the captain leave early?â
âBecause the captain is tired of his roommates being home when all he wants is alone time with his girlfriend. So, heâs gonna take some time to do the things heâs been dreaming of the past few weeks.â He drops his weight on top of you, resting his head on your chest. âIf thatâs okay with her, of course.â
âOh? What things?â
He smirks up at you. âIâm gonna take you on a date, and then, if youâre up for it, I really, really wanna be inside you all fucking night.â
Your face heats up at the bluntness of his confession, but you nod.
âJust for bonus points, Iâll tell Mark and Jisung not to come home tonight, yeah?â He lifts himself up on his palms until heâs hovering over you.
âWhy donât you stay here, and we can be without them all day?â
âI have a test.â He sighs, placing one last kiss on your collarbone. âIf that were an option, Iâdâve already picked it.â
Chenle pats your hip before rolling out of bed. Heâs already changed into jeans and a T-shirt, but you admire him anyway. You turn to your side and curl into the blanket, planning on staying in that very spot until he comes back.
âIâll see you later.â He grabs his backpack and heads for the door, glancing once more over his shoulder before he disappears. Even though he closes the door behind him, it doesnât take long for it to open again, Jiyoon poking her head through.
âHey.â She gives you a nervous smile. âHow are you feeling?â
âIâve been worse,â you reply, sitting up. Pursing your lips, you remember your pants are on the other side of the room. Jiyoon notices at the same time you do.
âYâknow, I thought I heard something last night,â Jiyoon jokes, sitting at the foot of the bed. âBut then I was like, no way. (Y/N) is celibate.â
âOh, come on. Celibate?â You glare at her.
She holds her hands up in mock surrender. âI canât believe you didnât tell me the second it happened.â
âIt hasnât. Thatâs why you havenât heard about it.â You shrug.
âThat explains why itâs only your pants.â She frowns. âWhyâs it taking so long?â
âItâs only been a couple months, Ji.â
âYeah. Thatâs like six years in guy time.â
âWeâve doneâŠstuff. Just not that.â
âOh, my God, wait! I have to get Heewon before you spill.â Jiyoon squeals in excitement and runs out of the room.
You fall back against the pillow and sigh. As much as you want to tell them, you also want to keep it to yourself. It feelsâŠprivate. Magical. Something only shared between you and Chenle.
Theyâll ask you questions about himâand youâll only ever be able to answer in one way. Heâs perfect, and every second you spend with him makes you want more.
You end up in the living room with them after changing your clothes for the day. Jiyoon ordered pizza, and shortly after Chenle left, Mark and Jisung head out for practice.
But Chenle comes back a lot earlier than you expected. You, Jiyoon, and Heewon share an awkward glance. It must be right after his class, considering itâs only been an hour and a half.
âI thought he said he was still going to practice?â Jiyoon whispers.
You shrug. âYeah, he did.â
He exchanges a look with you, and you realize immediately that heâs not happy. Shaking his head, he turns and immediately heads upstairs.
âDid he look upset to you guys?â you whisper.
âI think he wants you to go with him,â Jiyoon replies, pushing your arm.
âIâll be right back.â You wipe your hands off on your napkin before following him to his bedroom. Heâs on his way back out when you make it up there.
âWhat are you doing?â he asks.
âChecking on you,â you tell him. âYouâre back early and you donât seem happy, so I wanted to make sure youâre good. Why arenât you going to practice?â
âWhy would I practice if I canât play in the game?â He raises his eyebrows at you.
âWhat do you mean you canât play?â you shoot back, eyes widening. âIs this because of me?â
âNo, itâs not your fault.â He wets his lips. âI donât really wanna talk about it right now. Letâs just go downstairs, yeah? If I donât get to hold you, I might go crazy after everything today.â
You nod and intertwine your fingers with his. âYeah, of course.â
When the two of you take your seats, you motion at Jiyoon to tell her not to ask him any questions. You sit next to him with your legs over his lap, and his thumb rubs your thigh through your jeans.
You rest your head on his shoulder, listening to whatever story Heewon is telling. When you look over at him, heâs relaxed back on the cushion, eyes closed. You know somethingâs bothering him, but you donât want to push or make him feel uncomfortable by prying. Instead, you shuffle closer to him.
He pulls you onto his lap, squeezing his arms around you and letting out a long sigh. It worries you more than youâll admit, and when you glance over at your friends, theyâre talking to each other in hushed voices.
âWeâve got a class,â Jiyoon says, standing up with Heewon. âWeâre gonna head out. Talk to you later?â
âYeah, of course.â You smile at her, and then quickly mouth âsorryâ before she waves you off like itâs no big deal.
Once theyâre out of the door, you look back at Chenle, shifting so youâre straddling his lap to allow you a good view of him.
He runs his fingers through his hair, gaze traveling over you. âWould you hate me if we took a rain check on the date day?â
âI could never hate you.â You frown at him. âWhatever you need. Just tell me and Iâll make it happen.â
âCome take a nap with me?â he whispers, eyebrows furrowing slightly. âAll I want is to hold you and forget today exists.â
You give him a soft smile. âOf course.â
Youâre not sure what it is exactly that has him so upset, but he said he didnât want to talk about it. He guides you upstairs, fingers intertwined, and closes his bedroom door behind you once youâre both in.
Rummaging through his drawers, he grabs a shirt and hands it to you. You take it without question before going to your bag to get a pair of shorts. Without a second thought, you take your own shirt off and drop it on his floor, glancing over your shoulder at him to see him changing into a pair of sweatpants. You secure his shirt on before unbuttoning your jeans, pushing them down your legs until you can kick them off.
His arms snake around your waist, pressing his chest to your back. He kisses your cheek. âThis was supposed to be a good night. Iâm sorry, Sunshine, Iâll figure it out soon, okay?â
âHey,â you murmur, turning to him. âYou donât have to apologize to me. We have all the time in the world for dates.â
âThank you. Iâm fucking exhausted.â Chenle moves toward his bed, and you follow without hesitation. When youâre both settled beneath the comforter, you curl into him like you canât get close enough.
Youâre not sure who falls asleep first, but you wake up before him. The dim lamp in the corner is now the only lighting, the sun no longer illuminating the walls in orange. A door opening and closing downstairs followed by Mark and Jisung laughing together is what stirs you.
Reluctantly pulling yourself away from Chenle, you grab your shorts from the edge of the bed and slide them on before heading toward Chenleâs friends. You rub your eyes to help you adjust to the brightness of the kitchen, and Jisung and Mark stop their conversation as they notice you.
âHey,â Jisung says, fingers tapping on the counter.
âDonât let me interrupt.â You chuckle, your voice still heavy with sleep. âI just wanted to ask you guys something if thatâs okay.â
Mark nods. âYeah, of course.â
âWhy wasnât he at practice today? He said something about not being able to play?â
The two boys share a look, and for some reason, that makes you feel as if you already know the answer.
âItâs because of me, isnât it?â
âNot you,â Jisung replies. âButâŠâ
âBut what?â You cross your arms over your chest. âCome on, if thereâs something I can do, I want to help.â
âWoojin reported Chenle for kicking his ass. And Coach asked him why heâd do something like that, but he wouldnât say anything. He didnât want to air your business or whatever, and heâs pretty much banned the rest of us from defending him. Honestly, he didnât even want us to tell you. But weâre gonna lose without him, and this is the last championship before graduation.â Jisung pauses, pressing his lips together. âNot that we blame you, because what happened wasnât your fault at all, but itâs justâŠâ
âNo, I get it,â you tell him. âDonât tell him I know. Iâll fix it.â
âThatâs not exactly what I meant by that, either.â
âIâm not letting myself be an inconvenience to him, Jisung.â You chew on the inside of your cheek, contemplating your next move. âWhere is the coach at after mine and Chenleâs lab?â
Jisung and Mark explain to you where to find him, and then you make a mental note of it before you thank them and go back upstairs to Chenle. Heâs fast asleep when you make it back, and you already know after all of the things heâs done for you, telling the truth is the least you can do for him.
Like nothing happened, you climb back into bed and resume your place against his chest.
After your lab, you make an excuse as to why you wonât be at lunch that day. You kiss Chenleâs cheek quickly, and then youâre off in the opposite direction to find his coach. Luckily for you, Jisungâs directions were foolproof, and you made your way to the office easily.
You told the truthâeverything about your past with Woojin, how heâd been harassing both you and Chenle, and how he was attempting to break into your house when Chenle came to help you. It was hard to get through the story, but you knew he deserved to play in the championships. There wasnât anything that could convince you otherwise.
You told the coach to verify the story with any of the rest of the team, and theyâd corroborate it. Once you left, a weight felt like itâd been lifted from your shoulders, but you could only hope it was enough to get him his spot back.
Soon enough, you're back in Chenleâs room, sitting at his desk doing your part of the assignment from the lab. Practice starts an hour after lunch, which means you werenât expecting him for a while yet, but when the front door opens downstairs, youâre sure itâs him.
â(Y/N)?â Chenle calls up to you.
âHomework,â you respond, nervous for his reaction.
You stand up as you hear him approaching. He opens the door, and within seconds, heâs right in front of you, tangling his fingers in your hair and smashing his lips to yours. Your surprised gasp gives him the opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth, his other hand finding the small of your back to keep you pressed firmly to him.
He rests his forehead on yours, panting. âAs much as I should kill Mark and Jisung for opening their big fucking mouths, I canât believe you did that.â
âAre you mad at me?â you ask. âI didnât want you to get in trouble and lose out on your games because of me, and when Iââ
âNo, baby, Iâm not mad at you. Iâm just so fucking in love with you.â
âI love you so much,â you tell him. âAre you playing next week?â
He nods, grinning. âYeah, but I told Coach Iâd come back next practice. And I also told Mark and Jisung not to come home tonight.â
You donât respond, instead kissing him once again. He moves softer this time, his hands moving down to grip your ass. Mind whirling, you sigh into his mouth.
âI like this better than the idea of finishing homework.â You chuckle, gripping his shoulders.
âI want you so bad,â he continues, kissing up your neck. âI canât believe you did that for me.â
Your body heats at his words, images of the ways heâs made you feel before flash across your mind. âIâd do anything for you.â
His lips are on yours again, walking you backward until the back of your knees hit the edge of his bed. You tug on his hair, and the groan he lets out sends shivers down your spine. This is what youâve been waiting forâand when he pulls away to ask you if itâs okay, you take your shirt off in response. Both of you pause for a moment, him to look you over and you to gain the courage to keep your confidence up.
Turning the two of you around, you gently push him until he sits on the mattress, and then you climb onto his lap. He immediately grips your hips, fingers digging in hard.
His touch ghosts along your skin, making a shuddering breath escape you as every brief second of contact has you on fire.
âI love you,â he says. âAbsolutely fucking everything about you.â
âLucky me,â you murmur, reaching down for the hem of his shirt. He helps you take it off of him, pulling you closer. You gasp at the feeling of his hardening length against your core, and you start to grind down on him.
His eyes darken as he leans forward until his lips brush yours. âNo. Iâm the lucky one.â
You lift yourself up to push your shorts down, trying your best not to be too awkward with getting them off your legs in your current position. Chenle uses it to his advantage, kissing along your chest and nipping until marks form on your collarbone.
You pull at his pants, the way you need him so desperately making him chuckle as he moves to assist you. After he kicks them off, you continue moving your hips, his bulge rubbing right on your clit through your thin panties.
âAre you sure?â he asks, palms sliding down to your ass so he can squeeze it. âWe can wait, Sunshine.â
âIf I wait any longer, I might implode,â you tell him breathlessly. âI need you.â
He watches you closely as he reaches the clasp of your bra. You give him an encouraging nod, and he quickly removes it from you. He guides you on top of him, but he wets his lips before putting his hand on your back and lowering his mouth to your nipple. You groan, feeling the knot forming in your stomach at the stimulation on your clit. Whining, you move faster to reach your high, your grip on his shoulders tightening as you get closer.
His gaze meets yours briefly, and then he kisses you hard. Your pleasure becomes so overwhelming that you canât focus on kissing him, instead a moan escapes you, and he swallows it. He holds you tightly as you practically spasm on top of him, euphoria spreading through every inch of your body.
âI can already feel how wet you are,â he mutters, inhaling sharply. âLet me make you mine, baby. Let me have you.â
âIâm yours. Youâve had me since day one.â You cup his cheeks and kiss him, heart racing.
Youâve never wanted someone as badly as you want him, but itâs only at this point that nerves start to sweep you up in their whirlwind. Like he can read your mind, he pauses, blinking up at you.
âJust relax,â he says. âWhatever you need, tell me.â
âYou.â Sitting up again, you try to push your panties down. He takes the opportunity to lift up as well to take his boxers off.
âDo I need a condom?â Chenle asks, cursing under his breath when you wrap your fingers around his length.
You shake your head. âIâm on birth control.â
He gulps, lining himself up with your entrance. You sigh at the feeling, preparing yourself to sink down on him. As he slides inside, you throw your head back. The moment the two of you really connect, you realize you mustâve never been in love with someone before. Thereâs something about the way your heart beats for him that increases your pleasure. Youâve never felt this good before.
âGood fucking God,â he groans, grip tightening on you.
Once heâs fully in, you pause to look at him, finding his lips parted and his eyebrows furrowed. He kisses you gently and wraps his arm around you. You donât waste anymore time and opt to set a steady pace, unafraid to let your sounds escape as his length drags slowly against your walls.
âThatâs it.â His voice is strained, like heâs holding something back. He works his hips up gently every time you sink down. âYouâre so fucking tight, Sunshine. You feel so good.â
You whimper at his words. The only thing you want is to pleasure himâso you pick up your speed, rolling your hips as you sink back down. When he squeezes your ass, your body jolts.
âHow you feeling, baby?â he asks, massaging your butt as you work on top of him.
âGood.â Actually, like youâre on a cloud of pleasure, and every time you take him deep, you think how you want him to be inside you forever. âSo good.â
He secures his grasp on you before flipping you over onto your back. You immediately wrap your legs around his waist and lock your ankles together. He moves faster, thrusting at a steady but mind blowing pace. Your eyes roll, and you can barely think coherently with his cock throbbing inside you. His chest presses against yours, the closeness making your body so much hotter.
Sweat forms on your skin, and you tangle your fingers in his hair to lead him down to kiss you. You moan into his mouth when his tip kisses your spot. Every vein in your body is on fire, every thrust brings you closer to Chenle. Sounds of your arousal sound with each movement, joined in harmony with both yours and Chenleâs moans.
He snakes his hand between the two of you, his finger connecting with your sensitive clit. Your pleasured cry is louder than you anticipated, but it pulls a similar sound from Chenle.
âYou gonna cum for me?â he mumbles against your mouth. âCâmon, Sunshine, squeeze my cock.â
Your back arches into him, nails digging into his shoulders as your walls clamp down on him like a vice. Euphoria bursts throughout you, and you swear your vision blacks out for a second as Chenleâs thrusts pick up in pace. He fucks you through your orgasm until he lets out a string of curse words.
âFuck, baby, where do you want it?â he asks, voice tinged with desperation. âIâm so close.â
âInside. Cum in me.â You lift your hips to match his thrusts, dazed from your own orgasm. All you want is to feel him fill you up.
He drops his head on your shoulder, thrusting one last time before his warm cum coats your walls. Both of you lay there, unmoving. He kisses the base of your neck, panting as he tries to regain his breath.
You pull him up to kiss him, lips working gently on his. He hums against your mouth, nails scratching up and down your thigh.
âWas that worth missing practice?â You grin up at him.
âIâd miss a whole lot more than practice for this.â He smiles, shaking his head as he slowly pulls out of you. âTake a bath with me?â
âOnly if you carry me there.â You push his shoulder. âMy legs are a littleâŠâ
âJust the way they should be.â Chenle winks at you before he gets up to head into the bathroom to start the water.Â
Once itâs filled, he scoops you up in his arms and places you in the tub, somehow the perfect temperature, and climbs in behind you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you flush to him.
As you relax with him, allowing him to wash your body ever-so-delicately, you realize this is how it always shouldâve been. You feel free, like youâve been unshackled from your past just by loving Chenle and being loved by him.
Itâs as if youâve made it to your destinationâlike the journey matters just as much as the end. You look at him over your shoulder, and he kisses you so softly, you let out a sigh of content.
The teams were tiedâChenle was visibly irritated by the way the scoreboard had yet to change with minimal time left on the countdown. This has been the closest game all seasonâmost of the others had been clean sweepsâyet here he is, during the last one of his college career, and heâs close to losing for the first time.
You and Jiyoon sit with Jisungâs parents and Chenleâs parents, leaning forward in deep concentration. Playing with the thread bracelet on your wrist, you watch in earnest as you see the time ticking down. Chenle blocks the ball from going into the net, effectively taking it and running across the court til he gets to the middle. The other team basically bombards him, but as he lines up to take his shot, you grab Jiyoonâs arm and squeeze it. The countdown hits three seconds when he throws it, and itâs like the ball moves in slow motion.
Your jaw hangs open, and right as the clock hits zero, the ball sinks into the net, putting Chenleâs team one point over the other. You and Jiyoon both launch up, shouting and cheering. He turns to you, as if to make sure you saw that, and when he finds you grinning at him, he moves toward you like itâs a reflex.
You leave your spot in the bleachers and meet him in the middle. He picks you up as you wrap your arms around him, and you laugh as you hold on tightly. His smile is wide as he sets you back on your feet, kissing you hard. You giggle against his mouth, and an overwhelming sense of pride settles in your chest.
âYou did so well,â you praise him and press your lips to his cheek.
âItâs all âcause I had my good luck charm.â He squeezes you tightly. âI love you.â
âI love you, too,â you reply.
The words had never left your mouth so easily, nor have you ever meant them as much as you do now. Youâve only just hatched into the person youâre supposed to be, and with Chenle by your side, you know itâs only going to get better from here.
But you love here, too, because in the distance, finally you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Finally, you see your sea.
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